471. Self-Forgiveness on Self-Limitation

Or how to see through fears and paranoia within a scenario of facing manifested consequences

 

There are various things that have created an impact on me just in the span of the last 12 hours and I’m seeing things that I considering as clearly before. The context is seeing some of those manifested consequences for the first time in my life quite ‘in the corner of my street’ type of thing which is something entirely new to me to be honest and it’s been happening in various ways around here: so-called threats from cartels asking for ransom, car parts being stolen more frequently in these seemingly ‘safer’ areas and the recent lootings that took place in this side of my city where even a Wal-Mart that is some 500 meters from here had to close down and consequently every other shop was closed yesterday after 6 pm to avoid further lootings – unprecedented for me and everyone else I asked in my environment.

What happens is there has been a raise in fuel price and there are people that in an attempt to spite the government and ‘big corporations’ they have been looting stores, closing down roads that in turn have created much more problems and loss  than any of the ‘goods’ they stole from countless stores nationwide yesterday. I was appalled last night upon becoming aware of this and how easy it is to drive people through fear and paranoia at the same time, but also how the design is not at all responding into ‘what is best for all’ but immediately ‘grabbing what you can while you can’ and not minding at all who gets a consequence for that.

The word resilience opened up yesterday assisted me to remind myself to breathe to not go into the same ‘wave’ of paranoia that everyone around here was… few times I told people to calm down, but it’s not possible to ‘change’ someone just by saying that, it’s still a self-responsibility point. I simply had to embody that stability myself and keep explaining how we don’t have to participate in fear – but to me in my experience it was beyond fear, a sort of sadness to see this happening and how limited we still are when it comes to trying to fix problems.

So here it goes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the way to create a solution to the problems is through sabotaging, maiming, destroying and ‘getting it all while you can’ in an attempt to literally ‘fuck’ the people that I perceive are in power and to blame for the recent rises in prices in the gas and consequently potential inflation to come from it – not realizing that spite, blame, maiming and destruction will never be the way to create a solution nor make a ‘statement’ because in doing this, we only show how limited we are in perceiving ‘no way out’ but to riot and be opportunistic against the people that we believe are ‘more powerful’ than us, when in fact it is ourselves that have enslaved each other/ourselves in various conditions in our society – economically and socially speaking – therefore, playing the blame game and trying to ‘punish’ some for perceiving that they have ‘punished ourselves’ is nothing else but playing the victim and so justifying the spite that in turn only creates further loss, further destabilization, panic and paranoia all around that no one benefits from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel appalled upon getting to know that people around me can act in mob styles to be opportunistic about a situation that has become a feud towards the government, where I see the role of people playing a victim, of us all playing a victim, not realizing that we have created the government that we have, that we ARE the government that we have in our very own thoughts, words and deeds at an individual level – and the proof is that what a few in the elite classes do in a ‘legal manner’, the majority in this whole country ended up doing in seemingly smaller scale but with equal consequences – or worse – of disruptions, loss, destruction and in general not realizing that we are playing out the exact same nature as anyone else in a position of power that has abused such position and power, which means: we can’t at all blame anyone for the situation we have co-created, we are ALL equally responsible for the manifested consequences and the only way through is to acknowledge and understand how arbitrary our limitations are, how we have created and imposed them going down the road of fear and control – instead of realizing we can self-forgive and change those arbitrary limitations to create a better outcome that could stabilize everyone’s livelihood and not only that, but pave the way for actual growth and thrive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get trapped in a limitation where apparently we cannot fathom a life without oil, a life without all the stuff that is available in stores and forget about the actual possibilities that can emerge if instead of working together to create mayhem and destruction and ‘fucking the one next to us’ – we could focus on standing together to create solutions, creating what’s best for everyone and that requires a willing decision to understand that any opportunism to ‘trump’ others will only bite us all back in the ass because everything that we do affects us all equally because the problems we are facing are equally created – not only by governments, not only by big corporations, not only by the elites – but each one of us that in our very own thoughts, words and deeds still decides to spite back and take revenge instead of considering what would be most beneficial and best for everyone.

I realize that in situations like that what takes over is the compounded emotions, accumulated frustrations of endless years that usually end up in break outs like this one or revolutions or wars that are never the solution. Therefore, I realize our limitation in how we haven’t learned to cooperate, to join forces for the best for all, to create something together that we can live by and guard ourselves but instead are creating a rebellion against that which we’ve placed and created as our ‘authority’ by design, by acceptance and allowance only to have something or someone to blame for the mess we’ve accepted and allowed and have created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain in self-limitation after an entire human history or wars and revolt and civil wars where we haven’t yet learned to decide to cooperate, to unite to create solutions but instead, immediately act based on an emotional outrage that leads to more destruction, more decay and giving a full step back to a very primitive human-nature state of ‘survivalism’ which proves that there is a long way to actual human evolution if we really want to get to thrive in this world – and this requires an actual forgiveness and understanding from those that feel the most oppressed to realize that we have all been equal co-creators of this current situation and that nothing will advance but only worsen if we keep falling into spite, blame, vengeance/revenge, righteousness in believing that we have a right to protest and demand, while remaining victims in a comfortable situation so as to not have to acknowledge that this entire creation and all of its problems are emanating from the same source: oneself, self-separation, self-degradation from life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also be taken over by images seen in the media about the events and generalize and think that ‘the person next to me’ is probably as spiteful as those seen looting the stores, when in fact this is not so, it does not happen every single day and it’s not a majority either. Therefore I forgive myself that I have had a tendency to limit myself and other me’s as human beings by suddenly painting everyone with the same judgment and limitation as in being ‘back to square one’ of human evolution/decay, instead of realizing that this is part of my doomsday character personality that continually has sought reasons, justifications and excuses as to why humanity stands no chance for a world change. I have to stick to being that ‘hope’ of humanity and work on it within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad, appalled and disturbed by seeing the nature of what we can be as human beings wherein it only ‘hits home’ this time because of how close to me it all was, but I’ve seen it happen everywhere else in the world so this is only a proof that I have been living in a comfortable bubble where all ‘the problems’ seemed to be out there/far away from here, instead of seeing that as with anything these outcomes are a potential in all of us to create, we all are equally capable of creation and so destruction – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by the self-imposed limitations when it comes to the current economic and political situation we are in, wherein we have allowed ourselves to believe that the only way out is through chaos, mayhem, destruction, and forgetting all about self-responsibility, our power as creators of this reality to create, to solve, to change the so-called immovable ‘laws’ in our economic and political systems so that we could realize at last that this limitation, this lack, this poverty, these prices, these authorities are all self-created and are standing as a proof of our very own accepted and allowed self-limitation and delusions that CAN be changed if we all decide to do so.

Therefore I realize I can only focus on myself seeing through the veil, seeing through the play outs, understanding them as an outflow of our creation that we all have to learn from and stand up equally – I cannot go changing each person into seeing this, but I am not defined by what others in their own awareness and volition decide to do or not to do, but to focus on what I can do, correct and align within myself, stand by, communicate and suggest as solutions, to not fall prey of fears and paranoia that are part of the chaos that is sometimes deliberately created to then implement ‘new ways of security’ or further control upon the population, which is yet another limitation that we’ve imposed and collectively created upon ourselves based on our seemingly impossible ability to change, to stand as principles and remove the veils from our eyes to see: we’ve all co-created this all, there’s no one more or less responsible in this, we’re all it, we are only spiting ourselves, we are only biting our own tail, we have to stop it and act in supportive ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget living the word expansion as in being able to see through a situation and see the bigger picture, but still fell into a powerless experience within seeing it ‘very difficult’ to step out of this situation in this country – while fully knowing that there are consequences that we are going to be facing and that they can only be but a catalyst to sort out the problems we’ve been dragging for far too long – and realizing that this won’t come at the ‘higher levels’ of our society, but has to start in cultivating all the values that I see are not being considered by the most that seem to be very fixated on waging war against an equal me that we’ve placed as ‘president’ who has become a human piñata where everyone has deposited their own blames towards, which are nothing else but effigies/roles that we’ve elevated to the status of gods and authorities that we have placed deliberately in those positions of ‘power’ to have someone to blame and so abdicate our own collective equal and one responsibility to the whole of our thoughts, words and deeds.

In this I have to make peace with the fact that it might seem like a seemingly small point for me to stand in self-awareness in a ‘sea of trouble’ but, that’s what I decide to be and do and so not fall prey to fears and paranoia, but to remain focused on expanding myself, going beyond the seemingly overwhelming situation so many people got caught up on emotionally on and so acting based on those emotions as fears, spite and self-interest, while realizing that it was mostly a scare happening in the mind because as we spoke of it and sat in the comfort of our homes, they were only situations taking place in some stores and gas stations – so, I have and we have to remind ourselves that there is always a choice in deciding to join the disaster and paranoia chorus or stick to principles and remain settled – and that the more we stand without fears and stability, the more we will realize the actual powers and ability we have to create solutions, so here we have to persevere in our best-for-all intentions and not succumb to the chaos.

This is something to apply both in an internal and external level, because if we look at the driving force behind any form of destruction: it’s of emotions, it’s of the mind, it won’t create any solutions at all, it is only our attempt as consciousness to ‘fix problems’ while being blind to the obvious destruction and consequences this creates and forgetting that we don’t do it to ‘others’ as there are No others, we are all IT, we are ‘them’ and so we essentially are shooting ourselves in the leg.

Therefore, we always have the option to stand up from it in honoring the life that we have, to not follow ‘the mob rules’ within ourselves and live in self-respect – towards oneself and everyone else – or fall prey of one’s deliberately created weaknesses, spitefulness, blame, vengeance that are truly those aspects of our human nature that have been perpetuated generation after generation and thus have to come to a stop here, one by one in our individual decision of who we decide to be – who’s who in the zoo type of decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed upon seeing what fellow human beings can do which can only exist if I am holding an expectation and a judgment toward other people according to what I would like to believe they are, which is also an illusion and the point here is for me to consider yes, the potential that exists in all of us, but also not being blinded by it and trying to color everything in a positive manner but remain realistic in the realization of what’s happening when it comes to facing and creating our own consequences, so as to be reasonable enough, to be careful and considerate enough at the same time.

The key here is then to not exist as judgments upon what’s happening around me and so now is the time where I have to pull my non-existent pants up and apply what I’ve written out many times here and actually get to live that in thought, word and deed while yes, remaining cautious, aware and considerate of how things go around here because that’s just what manifested consequences are: we cannot change them but we can change who we are within and while in it all.

I commit myself to continue expanding myself in seeing through the limitations, the consciousness play outs and wreckage that we’ve co-created and that’s happening at the moment and stick to my own core and stability as the life that I am, as my physical body in holding within myself that potential that exists in me and everyone else that decides to also opt to live their potential for a common benefit – we don’t have to get discouraged by things around us or fellow human beings that decide to spiral down the emotional consciousness way, but stick to principles, stick to common sense, stick to physical groundedness and not get into a smog fog of current situations – but breathe through it, walk through it holding steady to our own truth and responsibility to it all as well as standing as and holding that potential that is here in everything and everyone, it’s up to each one of us to decide what we do and where we stand within it all.

Thanks for reading and let’s keep walking

 

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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