481. Living Emptiness

Or how to practically create and live the word emptiness as a result of first processing the ‘mental garbage’ in us

There are times when I have experienced myself to be very busy developing a constant ‘thought’ in my mind about something and it becomes like a form of mental-mosquito that eventually can escalate to full blown experiences at an energetic level in my body that I could have prevented if I had worked on these thoughts from the get go, from the very first times they started emerging.

What do I mean with ‘working on these thoughts’? It’s a physical doing first by deciding to write out about those thoughts and experiences in order to begin a self-investigation process where I can become my own ‘personal detective’ so to speak and ask the questions that we seem to elude whenever we are only up there in our heads Thinking about something, giving it our attention but not really questioning ‘who we are’ behind these thoughts, what part of ourselves is invested in those thoughts or experiences.  

The Questions can be something like ‘What is this thought representing about myself? What is this thought that I am giving attention to leading myself? Where do I intend to get to with it or get from it? In which way is it moving me? What am I intending to gain in self-interest with it? What do I fear? What am I desiring? And then writing out the actual reality of myself in relation to these questions to see ‘who am I’ in relation to these seemingly immovable thoughts. This is also the process to find our starting point/who we are behind those thoughts or experiences.

Self-investigation is the key to create clarity whenever we see ourselves going around in circles about a particular thought or experience. However, I’ve also experienced what it is to forget about ‘The Basics’ – as in writing, writing self-forgiveness and seeing where my responsibility exists as the creator of these experiences in me – and I want to jump into a state of clarity, of ‘emptiness’ right away, as ‘per magic ‘which becomes a form of suppression really where I believe that If I am able to simply live the word ‘emptiness’ or ‘quietness’ or ‘calm’ then everything will be just fine. But, nope, it doesn’t work like that for me.

I’ve shared in a previous blog about meditation how seeking peace, calm, quiet, stability without addressing and opening up the cause that created a stir within us and see who we are in relation to these thoughts ourselves,  lead us to create a quick fix that may create a form of momentary stability, but it is not genuinely making peace with the thoughts as in understanding those thoughts or experiences as part of our creation, as a part of ourselves that we require to align and correct.

Therefore whenever I see myself desiring to be quiet, empty and wanting to just impose this word as an experience of silence, quietness, calm or stability –I’ve instead decided to see this word or the desire to be ‘empty’ as an indication word which means, whenever I desire emptiness I have to create such ‘emptiness’ myself through first sorting myself out in relation to the disturbance, the reactions, the thoughts, the constant experiences and opening it all up, writing it out, exposing and explaining these thoughts or experiences to myself to understand the reasoning behind these reactions I am having throughout my day/days – or sometimes even weeks which can happen if we don’t actually deal with something through self-investigation.

Through sitting down with myself to write about these mosquito-thoughts and experiences in order to understand how I came to create them, what they are representing for myself in this moment of my life, what they are revealing about myself as aspects that I have to process, to work on, to align within myself, I create an opportunity instead to actively decide ‘who am I’ in relation to that which my thoughts or experiences are all about, I have to decide who do I decide to be in relation to that something or someone and direct myself in relation to it. This desire to ‘be empty’ is an indication that there are points I’ve kept ‘on hold’ within me without directing them, practically dealing with them and working with them.

Therefore what creates the desire in me to be empty, is precisely having many points or one single point, but a constant one, popping into my awareness and me continuing to ‘leave it for later’ or ignore it, hoping it will go away. Nope, doesn’t work like that with our minds: if something is here for us to look at, then we have to give it attention, take it on through self-investigation and do the necessary work it takes to lay out solutions to change it within ourselves, to change that part of ourselves in order to create then an actual ‘emptiness’ within us, as in having gone through the necessary ‘processing’ in self-awareness about those thoughts or experiences.

Here then ‘emptiness’ as a living word is more of a ‘process word’ or an indication word where I have to start processing, looking at, opening up, writing about and taking responsibility for something within me that I have been accumulating for some time and requires my attention, otherwise it won’t go away by itself.

This way, becoming ‘empty’ as a point of stability, calmness, hereness/presence, comfort within ourselves emerges after we have calmed our own inner storms through the tools of writing, self forgiveness, and applying the corrective applications for those thoughts or experiences in our daily lives and then, practice living these solutions every single time from then on that the same thoughts or experience emerges again within us.

It is about creating inner-peace through actively first dealing with, directing, taking responsibility for our thoughts and experiences that created such instability, confusion, anxiety, depression, nervousness, inner conflict or plain ‘stuffed mind’ rushing here and there with thoughts, instead of wishfully thinking that it will go away by itself. This ‘emptiness’ as a result process of doing all of this becomes something very real, palpable and completely possible the more that we stand in self-awareness within ourselves and direct our minds in common sense to direct who we are in those moments of fleeting experiences, of having these continuous mosquito-thoughts.

One could even consider that living this process and so creating this ‘emptiness’ within us can be a form of continuous meditation, where we then develop our stand in our being, in our minds and bodies to the level where we are more aware of our thoughts, our inner movements which then enables us to make decisions based on what is common sensical and self-responsible to do, no longer dictated by an energetic experience within us, but by the principles that are supportive for our lives and that of others.

There is no quick fix to ‘become empty’ as in having some memories or aspects of ourselves ‘fixed’ by a magic wand, there is no way to simply ‘click delete’ and have those experiences or continuous thoughts be gone forever, it is a constant work and redirection, it is a very real and active way to create one’s own stability, emptiness, clarity, calm or even ‘inner peace’ if you want to call it that, it’s a continuous living of corrections that anchors oneself in our physical bodies which represent that constancy and consistency that we disrupt and shake up whenever we go into our minds.

So, consider it for yourself next time that you see yourself wanting to just ‘be empty’ or ‘be calm’ or ‘be at ease and peace’ – stop for a moment and realize that only desiring a ‘peaceful experience’ is not the solution, this word ‘emptiness’ or ‘wanting peace’ is indicating there’s action required, there’s self-work to be done, so get yourself to do the necessary processing and see for yourself the results.

Thanks for reading.

 

Living Emptiness

 

Learn how to express your genuine self:

 

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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