510. From Split to Integrity

 

Today I watched the movie ‘Split and only now I realize how it’s been somewhat common for me to use the word Split for situations where I have compromised myself and where I haven’t stood completely ‘whole’ in certain situations or with people in my life, facing the eventual consequences that this compromise or dishonesty creates, which implies that if I am not clear in the starting point of creation of something or I am aware I am not being honest with myself  in it, the outcome or result of it will force me to face my creation and my starting point for what it was.

A common example is when one establishes a relationship based on fearing to be alone and in doing so, because the fear is that of ‘being alone’ – and if this starting point is not corrected throughout the whole relationship – the outcome and result is that most likely such relationship will end and one will face one’s fear of ‘ending up alone’, which can be initially perceived as a ‘negative’ outcome, but it is in fact in this process of self-honesty where those ‘darkest moments’ of facing our fears and the result of our creations that we also learn from our mistakes and learn to strengthen ourselves and realize how we created such fear and made It real in our minds by evading it, thus evading to face the reality of ourselves which is the truth that will invariably – sooner or later – comes out to the surface for us to see it face to face.

 This is part of ‘owning my creation’ and realizing that as much as I would have liked things to be different in certain aspects of my life, I also at the same time can recognize the reasoning behind my decisions, the context of them and also being able to recognize how I invested myself, my time, my dedication to points of creation that I ‘hoped’ and yes created an ‘expectation’ could turn out differently, but they didn’t stand the test of time and a common emotional outcome of witnessing this is saying ‘I wish things could have been different’ but, as much as we could have seen a potential in something or someone, we cannot control the outcome when there are others involved in that same point of creation, we only have our self-responsibility. We can only be certain about who we are within it all from beginning to end – the rest and what pertains to others’ participation in the point of creation, we cannot control at all. We can assist, we can suggest ways but ultimately if the other person doesn’t stand through it in an equal stance of self-responsibility, that’s where consequence will speak for itself if one’s starting point wasn’t clear and wasn’t changed through and while in the creative process.

Here it’s also not to imply that one cannot have a ‘flawed’ starting point and not change it or align it as one goes participating in that process or creation, what matters is precisely having the intent and determination to change in the process and do what’s in our hands to apply ourselves on – yet if one doesn’t do this, one ends up compromising in one way or another not only oneself but others as well and that’s when a joint process of creation has to come to an end.

In this movie Split I found the relationship of the psychiatrist with the main character with dissociative identity disorder a main point for personal reflection, where in her attempt to help and consider this disorder as something that makes people superior, special and treating the patient in a very ‘positive-manner’ leads her to overlook the magnitude of the problem she’s dealing with. Her role represents an unconventional attempt to stand up for people with Kevin’s (main character) condition. And without spoiling anything here, let’s simply say that there are consequences for doing that, and I could relate to this as well in my personal experience.

The ‘split’ point I’m trying to get to here is where I am aware of the potential consequences that something or someone can create in their own lives and so in the lives of others, I am aware of something that is mostly regarded as ‘abnormal’ or ‘dangerous’ or ‘psychopathic’ behavior in people yet, I’ve tried to focus too much on the good, the potential, the best aspects of them, while at the same time condoning behaviors, thoughts and actions in others and within myself consequently that should not be regarded as ‘human nature’ or ‘normal emotions’ in our psyche, because in taking these things very lightly, consequences can ensue in various degrees that we can only regret when it’s too late.

I’ve learned over these years to learn about and understand our minds, the intertwining of it with the physical body, the level of multidimensionality that a particular personality trait can have and at the same time, the level of absolute discipline and dedication that correcting any patterns, habits or traits requires by an individual. Yet at the same time, the way that I’ve approached certain conditions in people is through gullibility, where I have underestimated the potential detrimental consequences that can be acted out by each one of us where we can allow ourselves to – in one split second  – act out on the worst of ourselves and not even be able to control these impulses and only realize ‘what has been done’ after one has acted out on those thoughts, emotions or feelings that lead us to these consequences, irreversible consequences that many of us have faced when saying or doing something that we end up regretting or feeling terribly bad about afterward, yet this doesn’t have to be the way to ‘live’ in this world, because we can learn to prevent it, to stop ourselves before ‘pulling the trigger’ and causing such consequential outflows – not nice, not pretty, yet sometimes this is the only way we can get to understand what we are doing o ourselves and so others, to see it face to face and walk through the consequences of it all.

The point here for me is being honest with myself and realize the reality of what a person having a particular condition, habits or tendencies entail in terms of long term relationships in whichever form they might be. Of course, one could say we are all having mental problems and I agree to a certain extent, it’s a default state in which we have allowed ourselves to exist. However there is also a process of acceptance and allowance in this – whether it is genetics or self-created in this lifetime – all consequences are entirely ours, whether they were created by us directly or past generations = still ourselves. Even though this is our current raw reality, we still have the ability to make a decision to support ourselves to cultivate the better aspect of ourselves and stop feeding what we know is consequential, detrimental, damaging or harmful for oneself and others.

In my case I have to also be more considerate of the level of consequences we can be facing in our current process of mind, being and body integration, to not deliberately want to see all human beings through the eyes of benevolence or potential only, because for that matter we all have potential. I have to remind myself that as much as I can see such potential, I also have to consider how far a point of consequence has already ‘taken over’ a person’s mind and life, and accept the fact that no matter how much I’d like to assist another to focus on that better aspect of themselves, the decision is entirely up to them and if this is not done, I also have to make sure that I do not ‘split’ myself in compromising my self-honesty and integrity.

I can instead only remind myself and others to realize the extent of damage, harm, abuse that can be created and inflicted in thought, word and deed. Here I am particularly learning the relevance of assisting others through what can be defined as ‘tough love’ as well, which is to let the others see through physical reality consequences what they have been accepting and allowing in their own minds – and this also goes for myself at the same time of course, where I have to realize there’s always a needed stop for us to wake up and so use those ‘shocking’ situations or consequences as crucial moments to make a clear decision in our lives: do we continue building and feeding the worst of us, the one that creates actual harm, abuse and self-disrespect to our living potential –  or do we use such shocking situation, such consequential outflow as a lesson to learn from and never repeat it again.

And yes, it is unfortunate, it can be a ‘sad’ thing to realize that one can see the best of oneself and others yet, we sabotage our potential by sticking to what feeds our egos, what feeds our multiple personalities that are only there to continue existing as a mind that thrives in and of friction and conflict, not in common sense. And I also have to remind myself that there are such points of ‘no return’ in some cases, and it’s part of what I have to make peace here with, that no matter how much I would want to stick to such potential  – what will always be our measuring point is physical reality where actions or inactions speak louder than words or potential outcomes, which is what I can learn as well for myself both in my personal life and as a person that at the same time assists many more to develop themselves to their utmost potential.

This is something that is a key subject to me and I’m glad I went to watch this movie because it demon-strates very well to what extent we can take ourselves in living out personalities and allow our mind to fully take over, to the point where the real being, the real potential is too ‘far out’ to reach out into the surface and how potentially dangerous this can be – of course it’s a movie, it is still fiction and is exaggerated in certain aspects – but still, if we take the example presented there and consider it in relation to our day to day experiences both within ourselves and with who we interact, we will more and more see the importance of ‘mental health’ as a primary point of importance in our human development, I have no doubt about it.

So to me, my ‘split’ to correct is compromising too much at times in wanting to be too much of a ‘good doer’ or ‘tolerant’ of certain things that may cause more consequence for myself and others –  removing my split personalities where I am determining my thoughts, words and deeds on expectations, on fears, on potentials, on what I ‘believe’ could be the outcome of something, instead of looking directly at physical reality and so seeing the reality that is being created by me and others.

It is also not impossible to find human beings that can transcend these conditions at a mind level, requires a living decision, a constant one, for a lifetime to nurture and give life to create and build the better of ourselves instead of the worst of ourselves. There’s always self-forgiveness to give ourselves a second chance, but there is also a point of enough is enough and when life is compromised for far too long, intervention is needed, for the best of all.

The outcome of having integrity, self-honesty and self-responsibility is precisely that, a creation where no matter what the outcome is, we can stand through it and own it, learn from it, grow with it – while at the same time remaining observant of the outcomes in physical reality so as to not create false or unreal expectations. This is how we can live integrity and self-support which creates sanity and preventing most of the sickness and problems we have already plagued our lives with –  and doing this by myself, makes me the person I can live with for the rest of my life.

The best way to prevent mental problems is through learning to work with our thoughts, emotions, feelings, fears, habits, relationships and all of this can be walked in self-support within the Desteni I Process, the proof is here as myself, don’t hesitate to ask or learn more about it, because it’s a life changing process, if one works on it as intended of course.

Thanks for reading and check out the movie, I recommend it

 

 

Join us in our process of Individuals standing as Equals as LIFE

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About Marlen

I'm a human being that has decided to live by the principle of Life in Equality and place myself as a point of support for everyone that's willing to birth themselves as Life in this world. View all posts by Marlen

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