585. Drawing Inspiration and Living Inspiration

Or  learning and be triggered by something/someone to ignite a spark within oneself that can be used to live, create and express in our unique ways

Inspiration is one of those words that I had certain conflict with in the past, because of how I had defined ‘inspiration’ as something that would be given to me, either through the interaction with certain people, through having certain life situations or events – even the idea that ‘suffering’ was part of the great catalysts to be inspired in life, to having the effect on weed or through the idea, belief or perception that it was something even given through a form of ‘divine presence’ at some point in my life, which yes is kind of laughable but understandable based on the mindset I was in some ten years ago where I truly thought that my life was being ‘directed’ by some higher force, not to realize that it simply meant pre-programmed/pre-ordained and it didn’t meant the end of the world to me, but that’s a different story I’ve shared before.  

So, all of these ways in which I separated myself from inspiration led me to create an idea, belief or perception of being ‘dependent on’ all of these things to be inspired, to be creative, as in having to ‘feel’ something or get an idea, image, picture of what I wanted to create and then get a form of ‘feeling’ within me as an indication that I was ‘ready’ and so expecting this experience of ‘feeling like doing something,’ which at the time I truly thought it merely ‘arrived’ to me, instead of seeing how I in fact was in all of those moments making a decision to do things.

Once that I started working with developing self-awareness through this process with the Desteni living tools – working with self-forgiveness, writing and all the mind processing – it became obvious how I had separated myself from inspiration and turned it into an experience in separation of my directive will and action as in simply deciding to do or create something, decide to practice, to open up ways and means to express myself, not only in arts but in many other aspects in my life, including the continuous ‘inspiration’ that I’ve seen I can nurture myself with on a daily basis, which I’ll describe later.

I was also the kind of person that waited for some kind of ‘sign’ to act out on things, mostly calling it a ‘hunch’ or a ‘sudden drive’ that would apparently would have to ‘come to my awareness’ and I never really understood how everything that I ever created, experienced or decided to act on wasn’t being ‘guided’ by something or someone external to myself, but had and has always in fact been just me, and how this inspiration has always been here as a potential of myself, which means I simply disregarded this self-creative authority because of being essentially ‘waiting’ for something or someone to kind of ‘knock on my creative doors’ and spark that fire in me.

Now, that doesn’t mean that I don’t get ‘inspired’ by others these days, I do, actually a lot in fact and that’s what has assisted me into changing the way I see people and people’s expressions and creations in general. I’ve described how I used to be a kind of misanthrope in my life, even if not at a superficial level, at a more ‘deep’ level within me and to me it’s been quite a radical change recently to see people with a different set of eyes which are the eyes of wanting to ‘get to know’ how people came to be, seeing each person as a very unique compound of life experiences, expressions, words they’re living and I do see that a lot of my approach has been broadened through my exposure to life and people in this world through documentaries, which I am quite grateful for having the opportunity to watch them and even more so doing so in community, where I definitely have come to appreciate the ability to gather with a large group of people to watch it, which is something I would not have said or experienced before, at all.

This change of approach is the result of doing quite a bit of self-processing or de-cluttering, as all the ways in which I had tampered this inspiration point through judgments, beliefs or ‘religion of self’ points and any other ego aspects that I was holding on to, in essence existing in separation of myself and so in separation of others wherein instead of being able to ‘draw’ inspiration from others’ expressions, lives, creations, I would compare myself to them and then decide that ‘they have done it all’ and give up on my own process of creation – or go into an inferiority and superiority towards them and leave it at that. So, even if I could recognize that I could take an inspiration from what I see in others, I would ‘shut it down’ through reacting to it in the mind and not actively acting on it, living it, taking the next step which was to rather see what can I learn from them? What words are they living? What is it that ‘moved me’ to be inspired that I can now integrate into my own creative process? Of course here also considering one is actually aware of one’s creative potential in every moment as well, not just doing something ‘external’ but in our capacity to live and redefine words that we would like to in fact live and express as a way to change all of that of ourselves that we are aware is not being beneficial for us and consequently for others.

So, lately as I’ve shared with the points of attraction or in my mind having misinterpreted many times being attracted to many people – well males in my case lol – was based on recognizing something in them that I wasn’t yet living within me, which is so nicely explained in the following video by Sunette Spies for Self and Living Understanding Attraction which is a must-watch to understand how this works. I re-listened to it this morning where through doing the practical work mentioned there – which I’ve shared a couple of months ago as well – I’ve been able to start ‘discovering’ all of these words and expressions that I was ‘drawn’ to in others through creating an energetic experience of desire or idea of relationship towards them, instead of seeing how can I actually live these words or how am I even already living them and believing that I would want to ‘have that particular expression for me’ in some kind of possession/ownership delusion that is usually translated as ‘desiring to be in a relationship with someone’ which Matti also explains quite well in his following vlog, so check it out: Social Media and Impractical Relationship Fantasies – YouTube

 

Walking the process explained in both videos with various people in my life – or people I get to know through the internet or biographies or whatever else – has been very supportive for me to, in my case and specific situation, take back to self the word ‘inspiration’ and ground more what I can see is defined as ‘being inspired’ by others to THEN proceed to live inspiration as myself. Because I’ve definitely been there done that many times where I can see something, be ‘inspired’ by someone’s creation or expression and only be moved in that moment, but I’ve also seen how it all can quickly ‘die down’ if I don’t continuously act on it and decide to integrate it as part of my living-words arsenal so to speak or give a continuation to an idea/project/point of self-creation that may have emerged through being inspired by others in a moment, which is something I still have to work on for sure.

I’ve been learning to appreciate more and more in my life the ability to learn from others, to be inspired by and through others’ expression, work, ways, actions, ways of living and words they are living. So through this ability to be inspired by them and at the same time rekindle my relationship with fellow human beings, I’ve actually come to enjoy learning to embrace another’s expression, to be grateful and appreciating them for living such expressions, such words, to be ‘themselves’ in their uniqueness that at the same time reminds me of doing and continuing to develop that for myself as well, which is also in a way how I’ve turned the previously described comparison, going into jealousy with/towards women or desire/attraction towards males and instead turn it into a ‘seeing’ of the person’s expression for what it is, which is as I’ve mentioned before, quite liberating and expansive.

That’s how being inspired by others is something that can happen in any given moment that I decide to see through the eyes of acknowledging another being in their expression, seeing who they are which yes, if the opportunity is here, I start getting to know them better within this same starting point of getting to understand, to ‘see’ a person in a less superficial way, which I also enjoy doing through communication.

I can also consider that this kind of inspiration is not only gotten from fellow humans but with nature or certain environments or things for some, though I can only speak from the human-relationship at the moment and how instead of only leaving it at the level of getting a fleeting sensation of ‘recognition’ in another for who they are and what they express, I decide to take on the next step of getting to see what words they are living, what of their expressions do I see as something that I enjoy and therefore see if I am living that as myself yet or can be something I can expand on in my life, in my context, in my individuality as well – of course within the consideration of self-honesty and what’s best for everyone, not for self-glorification or ego-building purposes, but as a potential of expression that one can create in any given moment.

And this has interestingly enough become a process to develop a more ‘humane’ living in me, where I no longer misinterpret these reactions towards others either through a form of comparison in what others live, express or do in their lives, but rather get intrigued and enjoy learning about others, living curiosity in a way where I am rather more fascinated at times by the processes, the things that people had to go through to get to do and live what they do, rather than only focusing on ‘the final product’ they create in the end, which sure is also enjoyable, but I’ve also seen this in my approach to creative people for example, where as much as I can watch a film or documentary or a piece of art from them either visually or sonically, I am definitely equally interested in getting to know them as a person, which I’ve recently been doing in order to see ‘who am I’ towards these people I’d used to be ‘drawn’ to in an energetic form as an ‘attraction’ and how I see them currently through doing that self-work of identifying which words I see or perceive they are living and doing and take those words back to myself, to in a way nurture myself from their examples.

I’ve drawn inspiration from others many times even if they are not ‘self-honest’ examples, I draw the essence, the drive, the motivation they got to do, be and live something and see where and how I can live that in my reality at the moment, which has been quite an enjoyable process as well and that I had completely kind of shut myself down from doing because of, as I was sharing with a friend today, yes, being like ‘constipated’ in my reality lol, kind of holding on to a limited version of myself through a lot of rigid structures that I have been also slowly but surely taking apart within myself, which at the same time has opened up within me what I’m sharing here today.

Also something that opens up with inspiration and ‘being inspired’ from others is gratefulness or gratitude in what these people express and live, which I definitely would not see or regard before. This at the same time goes hand in hand with changing my approach or moving from ‘comparison’ or an idea or perception of ‘lack’ within me into a point of creating for myself that which I see in others and test it out within this consideration of how every other being is in fact another aspect/expression of ourselves, so this is more of a process of embracing and integrating something within ourselves as part of that recognition of being in fact equals, made of the same, coming from the same – yet in unique individual expressions.

So, inspiration also leads me to see the word in one of its meanings which is ‘inhalation’ which is both a literal taking a breath to make a decision to ‘integrate’ certain expressions, words that I see others are living – and at the same time giving it back, just like exhaling, where whatever I take or ‘be inspired by’ does not only remain as some kind of ‘hoarding’ for myself and invested into an ego-building process, but also give back as much as I have taken or received from others – directly or indirectly – to support me, to express me and share myself back which activates the possibility of others being inspired by what I decide to share and express and so others can eventually do the same in their lives towards others, and so the chain of ‘moving it forward’ expands, which is the ultimate goal in this, nothing is only for personal benefit, but always within the context of how I can learn how to expand myself so that I can share how I’ve done it and others may do it in their lives as well.

So, it’s interesting how then there’s a two way process to being ‘inspired’ where inevitably as with taking a breath or inhaling, we cannot just hold that breath forever ‘in’, what comes next is a natural movement of exhalation, a ‘giving back’ process so that the cycle may continue. That’s the natural expression of our physical body which means, I have to keep in mind doing this so that we can expand and not ‘hoard’ only these things to myself and I’ve been considering this a lot in how every time I get inspired by various people and their creations, I say to myself how I definitely want to do the same, be the same source of inspiration for others as well, because I see how relevant it is to keep being examples for each other in many ways, aspects, things of expertise, because that’s how we go kind of pushing the envelope for ourselves a little bit more at a time, which is great! And that’s also how I’ve come to be more and more grateful for people’s creations, people’s existence which I had completely and utterly taken for granted before in my delusional egoism.

Is doing all of this process worthwhile or enjoyable? Absolutely, I had not been aware of how limited I was by thinking that I could only ‘draw’ inspiration from others or through a particular substance or company, or a particular environment only, etc. We all ‘got it’, it’s a matter of deciding to act on it, to decide to open up the door and walk all the way through it, it’s about deciding to make that connection or ‘approach’ towards others, to be intrigued by the way others live and express and see what I can take from them that can benefit me in my life and consequently that of others.

This definitely expands the ability to be ‘inspired’ by virtually anything and everyone in day to day living, because it’s really about how we decide to see things, people, situations, the environment, reality… and so, this is what I’m busy developing and learning to live within me.

Lastly, please check out this awesome video by Sunette as well Why Don’t You Feel Inspired? Which assisted me in being able to ground this post and point for me as well today which is a word that I have been looking at lately and today is the day to land it back to self and share it.

 

Thanks for reading and ‘happy creations!’ lol

 

New Pattern of Life

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE

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About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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