649. Wearing Masks and Self Honesty

 

Yesterday after I arrived from a rather distasteful moment from the shop, I opened up my Tao book and I found this in it

 

Tao Reading 5 oct 2020

 

I knew it was speaking to me and what had just transpired where even if words weren’t said about the whole ‘mask thing’ I knew the owner wasn’t pleased by me not wearing one, perhaps was shy to say so, but I felt it, there was a barrier between us and our usual lighthearted interactions. This is then the moment where I see I am creating more of a problem or discord than ‘statement’ with my actions – and today I got the final call about it, so, here it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel low and disempowered when being told that I have to wear a mask when knowing this is all a big lie, instead of realizing how this is about considering the majority and where the majority is at in relation to it and being able to comprehend, have understanding and compassion towards others that genuinely believe it is a life saver for themselves and towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that I had to be the one that could change other people’s minds about the whole mask wearing point if I would resort to not using it in public, considering it is not mandatory as such here – instead of realizing that there is no need for me to go ‘converting’ people into what I believe and understand and that I have to completely let them be and decide what is best for themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into an experience of ‘savior’ throughout these months with trying to understand what is going on with this plandemia and try to ‘wake people up’ with what I find and research – instead of realizing and understanding that this is a very personal process and point where each person will decide what they want to believe, follow, agree and consent to. Within this, I see how it is only me in my savior syndrome wanting to ‘save others’ from what I believe is causing more harm than any safety or protection, like in relation to the masks and eventually the vaccine. I decide to see things based on how I have assessed them myself and this leads to understanding that I will do things based on my awareness, my research  – which might be right or wrong, who knows ultimately – but, that I am aware of what it will entail to be self responsible in this regard when it comes to personal health and that of my daughter who I am responsible for as well.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to meddle in people’s lives and understanding of what they see is a social rule of care and consideration such as wearing a mask and barge in within a stance of ‘boldness’, a character of ‘not submitting to the facade’ and within that, becoming just another polarity to what is going on, becoming another belligerent part of the whole that is pushing against what the majority is doing and in that, causing more rifts, more problems in essence than any real living solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to turn into a character that apparently must ‘show to others what is “the truth”’ and within that, lose myself in terms of the simplicity of what it means to be here, breathe, follow the current guidelines within understanding of where everyone is at in relation to the idea of a virus, pandemic, contagion etc. – where, even if my understanding is that none of it is genuine or can be real, I still have to consider the majority that does believe in it as is.

Here I realize that it is no different to how I have walked this process for so many years, living in this world and at the same time not being of it, which means, I have to completely let go of my idea of having to ‘disrupt the matrix’ or ‘show to others what is real’ and try and ‘convert’ people and missing out the point in it all, which is about SELF realization and not being defined by ‘What I do’ – such as having to wear a mask in certain places or have my temperature read by someone – and within this focus in the WHO I am within it, which I decide to make of it as a point of understanding, comprehending where the majority is at and realizing that their starting point is not that of being ‘evil’ or ‘wanting to kill us all’ in a moment, but within their understanding of what it means to be ‘safe’ and ‘secure’ and consider others as well within that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the ideas of how bad it is to be inhaling your own carbon dioxide or waste materials. I realize that I personally don’t have to worry about it since I am not in a position where I have to be wearing one for extended amounts of time and If I had to, then I would be looking at another solution. Therefore here I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be like a ‘liberator’ for others that have to be wearing them and try to change other people’s minds about it, when in fact, this is NOT what I am supposed to be, live and do, but instead completely focus on my own personal life, choices and taking responsibility for this, therefore I let go of wanting to change other people’s minds about it or having them ‘do what I think is best for them’ which in turn, makes me look like another dictator upon then, which is one of my weaknesses in general in my personality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own dissatisfaction with the measures upon those that I believed would ‘know better’ instead of understanding they too are acting in consideration of what the majority is asking as a ‘safety measure’ and what the government requests in order to keep businesses open, which is far better than having them all closed off and having no ability to buy groceries for example – at least we get to have that based on the current paradigm with wearing something in front of my mouth and nose.

I commit to let go of trying to impose ‘my truth, my understanding’ onto others and instead, move immediately into understanding, an embracing of where others are at, placing myself in their shoes and stop reacting even if it is only but a movement in my inner waters, I know when I am resonantly charging something and this mask point has been compounding up to the point where I was told I could not buy again in shops without one, which then made me go into this ‘sinking’ experience, like a ‘loss’ but in fact I realize lol I am here, there is nothing I’ve lost nor would I ‘lose’ anything by wearing a cloth in front of my mouth for 5 minutes while shopping and then move outside and continue as usual. 

I commit myself to be stable the moment that I have to go into a shop and wear a mask and walk in understanding of it – it doesn’t mean I agree with all the (false to me) premises of why we need to use them, but I see and understand this is about where the majority is at and that’s what I have to focus on and stand upon. Who I am is not defined by wearing something on my face, who I am is defined by the words I live, the stance that I have and creating any belligerent stance serves no one.

I commit myself to continue focusing on taking the best care of myself and my daughter, my family and continuing to educate myself on health and how to be self responsible within it, which has been quite an awesome opening that I’m grateful for

 

 

Thanks for reading.

About Marlen

I share my realizations and perspectives within learning how to live life in self-honesty in the Desteni Process to expand and grow as a person in this world. #IMatter View all posts by Marlen

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