Category Archives: angst

402. Who am I within Abuse?

I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’


Facing the Evil of OUrselves



Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.


Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.


We do it to ourselves


Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’


Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

1    the improper use of something.
2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
3    insulting and offensive language.


I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…


God won't save the queen now



Can I imagine a world without abuse?

It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.


When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.


In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.


My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.


I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.


Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence


In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.


God Bless the Child


It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.



Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.


I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.


Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.


I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.


Supportive Material:


  1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

  2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

5. Deer Human


Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:





394. When Calling out Abuse turns into Abuse itself

When the Offender becomes the Offended

Continuing from:


In an attempt to ‘save an animal from suffering’ according to me, I created further consequences which I completely disregarded when I in one moment saw the common sense of feeding a dog that was barking for hours on which I came to find eating his own feces while being short-chained to a pole inside his owner’s house. Little did I consider that I was ‘infringing private property’ when being opened the door by, let’s call it ‘a tenant’ of the owner’s house through which I got access to give food to the dog and so stop him from wailing over hours end. His water covered with a plastic plate and he had begun to lick his own feces to what I believe was to mitigate his hunger.
At the sight of this, I ran to my house and got food for him, gave it to him until I was satisfied that he had stopped wailing/barking asking for food. So, where were the owners? It’s not the first time this happens which is why I decided to ‘take the matter in my own hands’ without realizing that later on I would have the backlash of a threat by the owners, saying I was barging into private property, attacking their child and directly affecting the neighbor that leases the space from the dog owners, who also happens to be a lawyer.

An hour or so afterward  I saw when another member of the house got in and so I ran to tell her how inhumane it is to leave the dog that way and if she would like to be tied to a pole and be so hungry that she would resort to licking her own feces – she agreed it is not. There was a kid with her, around 8-9 years old that is ‘the responsible’ one because he’s got the duty to feed the dog and didn’t feed him because ‘he could not find the scissors.’ I repeated the same thing to him: Would YOU like to be that dog tied to the pole and having no food or water so that you resort to lick and eat your own poo? He said no and so I said then why are you treating your dog that way? Well, apparently the child got scared and complained  to his parents about what I said.

This then turned into a third scenario where I got both parents coming at my door, quite pissed off telling me how dare I talk like that to their child? I repeated the same words, the same expression to them and within the context and reason for it of leaving a dog that certainly has no voice to ask for food without being fed and wailing for hours end to the point where it is unbearable – and I had a live conference starting soon which would come through if he would have remained without eating according to me.

Mother admits ‘You might be right on that’ about not feeding the dog…. BUT! how dare I talk to her child like that? Oh well, I see no problem on that, who else will let the child know the consequences of his irresponsibility if it’s not pointed out by the creators of the child of course, the parents in this case?


So here a few points for context. The reality of the matter is that there is an innumerable quantity of beings that are going hungry and just because they don’t bark and wail, I don’t go trying to ‘rescue them.’ The reality is in fact that the noise was so unbearable to me that I reacted to the incessant barking, just like when listening to children being hit and yelled at by the parents next door – but there I cannot go knock the door and ‘save the children’ nor do I want to, because I understand the generational abuse we’ve all become as human beings wherein parents only learn how to ‘educate’ with slaps and screaming at children – but, according to ‘me’ to do this ‘against an animal’ that means an innocent/voiceless individual that cannot have his own lawyer to sue the irresponsible owners for ‘not being fed’ and left alone at home tied with a 50 cms chain to a pole, and so eating his own feces, is simply unacceptable. That is actually the me as the ‘savior’ talking about what I come to become aware of, because this is also happening to human beings and virtually every living being that is being deprived of any form of dignity and living rights, resorting to do the unimaginable just to calm the pain from hunger and finding some form of security – have I then gone and immediately ‘sorted out the problem? No

More so: was my 10 minute visit to the dog to feed him going to solve the problem? No, because I’m not the owner of the dog and as such I have no direct control as to whether he’s going to be fed properly from here on either.


What I actually reacted the most is seeing such hideous view of the skinny dog licking his feces, but I would not have known if it hadn’t been initially triggered by the high pitched barking that I was being annoyed with and pondering why is no one seeing what is wrong with him? And yes, it seems it has become part of the ‘soundtrack’ around here wherein it no longer raises questions as to why dogs bark that way – and here it is to realize it is the result of an entire socioeconomic situation where poor/lower class means less ‘education’ about how to educate themselves, their children and consequently how to handle pets/animals and so treating them with the meaning of ‘animal’ which is contextually and culturally accepted as ‘less than’ or less of a living being, which is  perplexing, but I realized this when drawing the parallel between a human and a dog and having people almost not consider at all that the dog is a sentient living being just like themselves …..


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to blame people for being so abusive and inconsiderate to their animals, without placing this situation into context as to  seeing the environment they are living in, the entire socioeconomic and educational context, the information or the lack of it in order to take ‘good care’ of animals wherein I complain about ‘the abuse that others commit unto their animals’ without first considering how it is in fact a collective abuse that I am also a part of as I am also an equal part of everything and everyone that is here


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people as negligent while being angry at them for leaving the dog without any food or accessible water, without realizing that in fact the first trigger was the high pitch barking and that with this sound I was actually first getting annoyed and rather concerned about ‘what could be happening to him that he’s wailing and barking so much?’ which was then in part knowing that he might be hungry, but also wanting him to shut up, which means that


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to admit that I actually first got more annoyed by the dog barking than being genuinely concerned about him being unfed as this was only realized afterward when I peeked into the house and saw him licking his feces, which is when I then triggered the anger due to the ‘inconsiderate owners’ that leave their pet to starve – without wanting to draw the parallel for myself to see how I as a member of this humanity, of everything and everyone that is here, I’ve committed the same atrocity in justifying, excusing and accepting the normalcy of poverty, of hunger and of crimes against life that go beyond not providing food to beings, but actually the entire disenfranchisement from each other’s living right to live in dignity, and more so toward the beings we share the Earth with as all the animals that we’ve enslaved for our benefit.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my self to place myself in the character of ‘the savior’ and the ‘good and righteous one’ wherein I absolutely ignored potential consequences of doing what I believe is ‘right’ without considering the current structure and general considerations of the world-system I am still living into, where all ways of avoiding taking responsibility at a legal manner can be used against me, instead of rather recognizing the fault and remediate it.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after the event happened I said to myself I haven’t learned a thing, I did it again’ because I had previous experiences of seeing animal abuse specifically toward dogs and then confronting their owners, in which I sometimes placed myself in rather risky situations because of not knowing how the ‘owners’ will react to me confronting them with the question of ‘would you like to be treated like that if you were a dog?’ and so, within this I have to once again realize that even if this time I wasn’t with the owners and believing that I was doing a ‘good thing’ by feeding him, even expecting to be ‘thanked’ by the owners, this is only me and my mind because no one really likes to be told about their mistakes and faults, and so it was rather negligent by myself to involve other individuals in this situation without Any regard to the actual consequences, taking others minds into consideration and this went on just because I only considered ‘feeding the dog’ as a ‘good thing’ and so having him shut up as ‘fulfilling my point’ with the situation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to once again as I was talking to the neighbor, one of the ‘owners’ but not the direct owner of the dog, I went into yelling at the end based on seeing that they didn’t respond in any sort of ‘shame’ or ‘regret’ that I was expecting from them upon hearing that their dog was eating their own feces because he wasn’t fed

I realize that I actually then was attempting to have them react in order to believe that ‘they would feel bad and so learn the lesson to not leave their dog unfed’ – but, the reality is that they seemed to not care that much  about it, and simply responding that no they would not like to be in the dog’s shoes but essentially shutting the door at me, which is why I got yelling and pissed off at them saying I would call to animal services for a legal complain if this went on again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my anger in that moment was justified because ‘they were ignoring me and my complain about THEIR abuse’ which is in fact simply ‘they were ignoring ME’ and so this is why I reacted with anger


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a shocked and rather upset experience when seeing how the owner had taken the point I explained about the dog and how they used it only to come and ‘get back at me’ for apparently attacking their child, which is obviously non sense if by ‘attack’ they mean me asking the boy if he’d like to be tied to a pole and having to eat his feces as food for lacking any real food – within this pondering what can be so shocking about a human doing that if they are allowing their dog to do that, so why are dogs not seen as equals as humans? Not realizing that in this assessment I was rather naively considering that human beings regularly see animals as equals to humans, which is really not the case yet at all, so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off at the mother of the child when my words were seen as an ‘attack’ because of describing the scene of their dog and placing their son in the position of the dog as a parallel to understand his irresponsibility,  which to me seems like the most normal thing to do, but I ‘forgot’ to consider other human beings’ mentalities where they do not yet see and consider animals as one and equal to human beings and instead parents take any word given to their children very personally, so


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually look back at myself and how I once was also a child that was taught to leave dogs outside and really see them as beings I had to consider as inferior even though I actually thought they would also ‘feel’ – which in turn got me into believing that dogs shouldn’t be eating along with humans, dogs shouldn’t be sitting on tables or any other animal for that matter and seeing them as ‘filthy’ because that is what I also as a child got to learn about animals and so also then creating my own superiority and inferiority scheme toward animals myself.

I realize that to me it has taken a long process to be able to equalize myself to animals, to pass from the fear toward animals, the disgust toward animals, to the consideration of animals as equals as myself. Therefore what I’ve also pondered is how by me reacting in such a way toward certain situations of animal abuse, it is me really trying to make up for my previous ideas and beliefs of animals being inferior, filthy, less worthy beings than human beings which is how I was taught to treat animals as well, therefore


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize the dog in an attempt to make the owners feel bad about their dog, without realizing that in this only managing the situation at an emotional level, I am only trying to manipulate people to consider common sense while wanting them to feel bad about it, instead of realizing that I could have explained it within a more stable manner which is where I still have to work on when it comes to seeing a point of abuse and not justifying my anger due to ‘the abuse’ as this will only put people’s guard on and so create an even greater conflict, instead of having managed the situation in a much more subtle and calmed-down manner, which means in stability, pointing out the situation without directly ‘blaming’ them.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my anger toward neighbors based on the abuse that I see that they have imposed onto their dog as a result of what I’ve called negligence and simple carelessness toward their dog, without realizing that I through this judgment I then separate myself from the abuse imposed, not realizing that I have also been negligent toward life in many many forms and ways on a daily basis, even in an unawareness point as I am a part of everything and everyone that is here and this world is nothing else but the equation of abuse that we are all living in and co-existing in because we have are so separated from life itself, that we are barely or not even aware at all of all the consequences and abuse that we cause each other on a daily basis, not only through evident things like leaving over 30 thousand children to starve each day, but the multiple relationships of abuse with which we have ensured we don’t even regard, consider each other as equals to begin with, like money as a belief system that supports inequality and greed for example.


I realize that by becoming so enraged with a point of abuse, I am only utilizing it as a point to lash out on my own accumulated anger at the problems, the abuse that I see around here and had accumulated from hearing the neighbors yelling or probably hitting their children, alcohol abuse, no regard toward neighbors, no regard toward having animals in a suitable condition and generally the complacency and law of least effort that I have judged this environment I’m living in with, wherein I continually ‘lose faith in humanity’ when observing at people’s actions, words, bodies, deeds, ways of interacting and so within this building up an unspoken frustration and annoyance about ‘them’ and ‘the world’ without realizing that such experiences only exist within me first and so they are MY responsibility to take care of and stop fueling within me such experiences, and so continue directing myself to be a point of support for any individual that does want to support and assist themselves as myself to become better human beings.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be affected by my environment at the level wherein I act irrationally and not consider all outflows and potential points that could open up by me doing something that ‘I’ have defined as ‘good’ and as something that will benefit a suffering individual, without realizing that in this, I am in fact only looking at me-myself and actually my self-interest because I have only wanted to ensure that I can get the dog quiet and get the environment without so much noise that was coming from various parts, which I have taken as an excuse to get angry at the noise that actually only bothers me in fact, therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by noises like dogs barking, music from neighbors and so not really being entirely living up to my commitments to remain stable while listening to noises around me, and allowing me to be unsettled when children cry, when dogs bark, when music is on and so going into a victimized state of ‘the environment that annoys me’ instead of realizing that the reactions all stem from me and as such I am the only one that can take responsibility for myself to remain stable without being affected by noises outside.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into guilt within the possibility of the child really feeling attacked by me, and in this realizing that guilt does nothing but instead the actual solution would be to simply let go of it and rather confront the child and explain why I said such words and as such be able to explain that my intention was not that of an attack, but rather of a direct illustration of what his dog was going through just because he couldn’t feed him.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘bash’ myself with all the past 3 memories of talking directly to dog owners about the abuse that I saw they were inflicting on their dogs, wherein I simply believe that ‘I can’t stop myself’ from doing something upon witnessing such dog abuse’ – though, if I look at it closely, this entire reality is in fact the sole manifestation of abuse and harm and neglect toward one another at levels that have become unfortunately invisible to all of us, therefore I realize that I am an equal part of this collective negligence that I’ve simply attached an emotional reaction to in order to make myself the ‘righteous’ one, the one that ‘sees the abuse’ specifically keeping an irregular eye on ‘dogs’ and ‘dog abuse’ without realizing that I am doing nothing really when it comes to first stopping the abuse within myself completely as the emotional reaction upon abuse, and so giving myself a moment to consider the ‘greater perspective’ and the context of such point of ‘abuse’ so that I can consider all the outcomes, possible outflows of me exposing a point of abuse within the confrontation with the owners.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where beings can be ‘owned’ and as such being so separate from everything that is here that dogs cannot even be heard or understood by people, which is yet another outflow of us only living in our little bubbles in the mind in self-interest which is then where I see my point of abuse actually still exists in.


Here I have to realize that I am in this world system wherein there are greater ways to ‘get back at someone’ for something, rather than doing any real form of ‘justice’ as we haven’t even really lived justice within ourselves as individuals that have a mind and a body that should exist within the alignment and principle of what is best for all, and we haven’t done that at all just yet – therefore, how can I ask such principles and considerations to others if I haven’t yet lived by those myself?

Now, within the context of the abuse toward the dog. It is so, it is a form of abuse however there could have been other ways for me to expose the situation and solve the problem, therefore:

When and as I see myself building up a reaction of annoyance upon hearing the dog barking and wailing and having an experience of frustration and irritation about the dog’s sound – I stop myself, and I breathe – and I practice on remaining stable so as to not make the dog’s sound a ‘noise’ within myself as something ‘disturbing’ and instead focus on how I can rather be stable within me regardless of dogs barking, babies/children crying incessantly or loud music playing around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just now think ‘that’s a real challenge’ which in this I am already ‘giving into ‘ failing at my correction and believing that the noises, dogs barking loudly and incessantly, babies crying and children yelling incessantly is something ‘I just cannot stop reacting to’ which is here then believing that my mind and my reactions are more powerful than my ability to remain stable which then is something that I have to commit myself to prove to myself, that I can remain stable even with the most constant sounds around me, which is something I haven’t yet fully committed myself to live by.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define children crying as annoying and irritable, without considering that in fact what I get most reactive about is the behaviors and abuse that triggers it such as parents hitting or yelling at the children – and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react at a situation of parental abuse, without realizing that this is a point that will take time to sort out in humanity as we’ve lived generation after generation with the same patterns and mentality of parents as children’s authority and that ‘education’ equals yelling, hitting, screaming, threatening and instilling fear, which is pretty much the way the entire world system operates wherein we’ve learned that we can only exist within a relationship of oppression and having to obey upon the threat of punishment.

Therefore I realize that I have to stop reacting to any point of abuse either toward animals or children as the most evident forms of abuse that I see around me, because within this I am also singling them out and neglecting the overall abuse that we create and participate in every single day beginning with the participation in the dictatorship of my mind, my experiences and belief systems that affect each other equally, such as the money system, the political system, the self-religion systems and personalities in which we have all abdicated our responsibility to life and instead have kept each other in bubbles, fighting each other instead of realizing that the more we fight and complain and get angry at each other, the more we miss out the point of recognizing a point of abuse as ourselves and so focusing on rather creating ways to make each other aware of the situation, create solutions and recognize equal responsibility to all forms of abuse that we tend to ‘point out’ only toward others, neglecting the fact that it is oneself doing and imposing such abuse, as we are all in fact one and equal.


When and as I see myself wanting to go and ‘solve a problem’ wherein I have to  practically go an enter someone else’s house and intend to give food to a dog I don’t know even his eating habit, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am in fact becoming possessed by my urgency to simply ‘get rid of the barking’ which happens in a similar manner when I attempt to go and ask neighbors to shut up, because I have to now consider what invading private property is and the consequences thereof, who I get involved into my desire to ‘solve the problem’ and as such cause them conflicts and potential loss just because of wanting them to be participating in what I see is a ‘good deed’ such as feeding a hungry dog and ignoring even the fact that I was really not allowed in with permission, nor did I consider the fact that the dog could have been allergic to some of the foods I gave him.

Therefore I commit myself to rather first stabilize myself, ensure that I am stable instead of acting based on reaction or wanting to get rid of ‘the annoyance’ – then I can if I see that the dog is barking incessantly, then I can go and knock the door and ask politely if the dog is doing well because I hear him barking and wailing too much. If the owners are not at home, then I simply have to wait and see if they arrive – if not then I can ask other neighbors around to see if they know what to do in such cases or if there is anyone that is allowed to feed the animal. If not, then I would resort to asking the same neighbors to simply give him something to eat, and not enter myself into the house. If this doesn’t work and the situation is going on for several hours then I will call animal services to ask for them as a legal authority to witness the point of abuse.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within me wanting to ‘call out a point of abuse’ I actually also involved others that initially would not have involved themselves in the situation, and all because I heard the dog barking loudly and I wanted some silence because I required to record. I realize that I have to be able to slow myself down even when I am witnessing the most hideous form of abuse going on and to ensure I am not acting based on reaction or desperation and justifying my ‘doing all I can’ due to seeing a point of abuse, as in that I am not measuring the contextual consequences, but only looking within the limited range scope of ‘soothing the animal’s pain’ and also having him shut up, which is the point of self interest that I also commit myself to not react to, and instead place the point of abuse into context, seeing beyond the most ‘obvious’ forms of abused I’ve usually made it ‘normal’ to react to, such as abuse toward children from their parents and abuse toward animals, mostly dogs by their owners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word ‘abuse’ as negative and within this charge then justifying any and all actions that I then ‘take on’ in order to stop this point of defined abuse with a negative charge, which means that in this, what I will do to ‘fix the problem’ is charged in a positive manner, without realizing that I am only reacting to the situation at an emotional level and as such not really placing into context the point of abuse and who is involved so that I can first dialogue with people and whoever is involved in the situation, before making the abrupt and rather irresponsible decisions that do have consequences that I had not at all considered, such as people complaining about barging into private property and threatening with a legal case upon this, which is of course another form of instilling fear which is the same fear we have become so used to reacting in order to comply to the roles we have endowed with a form of ‘superiority’ and ‘power’ over others, such as lawyers


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in the moment when I heard the father saying that he’s a lawyer go into a reaction of fearing consequences if he decides to act upon the situation, not realizing that this fear only comes from the idea of a lawyer and how as a child I would see the lawyers as the defenders of either the ‘bad side’ or ‘the good side’ according to who’s paying them and so, going into later on the whole reaction toward the ‘justice’ that exists in this world where the ones that have the most influences and positions of power are the ones that will most likely decide ‘who is right’ and ‘who’s the culprit’ based on convenience without any real common sense and consideration for the people.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with disbelief when it comes to realizing how a point of ‘calling out the abuse on another’ suddenly turned into a potential consequence for me, without realizing that in this I am participating into fear of ‘what will happen’ but also, neglecting the first point of abuse which is what is the main point within this all which is what triggered all the other reactions which is: animal abuse


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to be angry toward animal abuse, not realizing that animals as every other part of this reality and existence are also part of myself, my responsibility and so it is not to see only as ‘certain individuals’ as the culprits within this, but rather understand the relationships of abuse that we’ve created within the very words we speak, and so within the systems we create with which we have allowed ourselves to be directed and controlled by, just because we had all neglected and not even considered taking responsibility for ourselves and our own creation.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to access the memories of previous moments where I witnessed dog abuse and use that as a way to bash me and say how I haven’t changed at all because I still reacted to the dog being abused, without realizing that in this I am neglecting everything else of myself and bashing me because of ‘failing’ at applying myself within the correction of not giving into anger upon witnessing animal abuse – specifically dogs being abused by their owners – and remaining stable – which is then something that I do not have to feel bad about, but simply see where and how I am still missing that moment, that point of stopping myself from wanting to expose the abuse or take the matter into my own hands, as that is essentially also based on solving the abuse so that ‘I’ don’t have to either witness it or ‘feel bad about it’ or be ‘annoyed’ by it, which is then once again proof that I have mostly only cared about that which directly affects me and that it is within this selfishness that the ‘caring for another living being’ also started.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel better’ about myself after feeding the dog, as if that was going to ‘change the dog’s life’ or reality when in fact I gave it from the starting point of wanting him to shut up and so stopping licking his own feces, which is something that still isn’t entirely based on ‘supporting another’ but rather stemming from me and my need for the dog to keep quiet, which is self-interest.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an authority that can ‘call on’ abuse to others upon witnessing it, without realizing that I haven’t yet become that for myself absolutely and so I am in no way able to be the ‘authority’ toward others and believe that I am ‘doing the right thing’ when my starting point for calling out the abuse is to actually inflict some fear and regret so that they can actually change, therefore I realize that If I create a reaction within people, then there’s less possibility for them to actually listen to that point as they go into defense mode, therefore

When and as I see myself wanting to talk to another about a point of abuse I consider is ‘their responsibility’ I stop and I breathe and I look at how I can approach the situation in a way wherein I place myself in their shoes as well and approach them the way I would like to be approached if  I was the one creating such problem. This doesn’t mean be too condescending either, but simply without the tonality of being demanding and showing anger at them in an attempt to make them feel bad, but rather in a very direct and stable manner point out the abuse, then see if they/we would want to be in the shoes of dogs and so consider that next time they plan on leaving the house – which is then giving context to the abuse and seeing the importance of taking care of animals. I did manage to do this at first but upon seeing their reactions, I then escalated the drama to make them react so

When and as I see myself wanting to see people feeling bad and feel guilty about their actions, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within this I compromise myself upon wanting people to react which in turn I use to escalate the situation by becoming angry ‘at them’ which won’t change the situation at all – therefore I only focus on remaining stable no matter how hideous the situation is, as I now have to take into consideration them, their minds, their ability to ‘get back at me’ if they feel offended as well and so I ensure I do not attack, do not show emotion but simply point out the abuse for what it is in stability.


I realize that I might say ‘well they should have known by now how to care about the animal’ but, how many times have I told myself I have to be ‘stable when witnessing animal abuse’ and still fell for the reaction of it and even if I was more stable, still justifying my actions within the context of doing a favor for the owners and the dog and also as an attempt to stop the dog from barking which was the reason why I felt that I could not wait any longer for me to establish proper communication with the owners of the dog.


When and as I see myself reacting upon dog abuse /animal abuse,. I stop and I breathe – I commit myself to place this abuse into context and realizing that I have reduced ‘abuse’ to only children and animals, without realizing that it is all our relationships that exist at the moment as they exist are founded upon abuse. Therefore, I commit myself to stop diminishing abuse to a few living beings and instead rather place into context the abuse, how and why it exists, take into consideration other people’s minds, their predictable reactions and really consider all of this before making any decision on what I will do to stop or prevent the situation, otherwise I become part of the chain of abuse wherein my ‘calling out for abuse’ is then seen as an abuse in itself, based on the reaction that I created at the end of my complain, which is how I also realize that emotions will only ever escalate and complicate the problems and offer no solutions at all.


Therefore I commit myself to remain stable whenever I witness any point of abuse as I realize that if I react, then I miss out the actual moment to contextualize the point of abuse, see who is involved, assess what I am aiming at doing about it, how I could get potentially affected in a vendetta manner if calling out such abuse and also ensure that as I communicate with those directly involved in the point of abuse, I remain stable and considerate toward their own reactions, their minds, their beliefs, their contexts which I might not be fully looking at, understanding or even conceiving at the moment.


I commit myself to mostly practice remaining stable and in self-honesty whenever I hear the dogs barking and wailing incessantly, when children or babies are crying, when loud music is playing as all of these are points that lead to a form of abuse linked to it such as parental abuse with the crying and alcohol/drug abuse with the loud music, which is where I then have to stop judging such habits and behaviors, and instead rather stop my own emotions that are in fact the same source and cause of the emotional experiences and behaviors I am in fact initially reacting about.


I realize that yes, any abuse is always self abuse and so reacting with an energetic experiences Is in fact the first abuse – but even if one is stable while ‘calling out the abuse,’ it’s very important to consider the ‘offender’s’ mentality, their possible reactions and also stick to ‘the margin’ when it comes to not getting into people’s houses if not being directly invited in for example and now integrate possible legal consequences within everything that I do as that’s another way in which we have imprisoned ourselves in our system: through a two tier justice system where real crimes against humanity are not even part of the ‘files’ in courts around the world, but have only reduced abuse to the one we see ourselves as human beings being affected by, without realizing that it is actually not about ‘me’ but about everything, everyone, each relationship we form that determines the nature of ‘our ways’ in which we relate to other human beings, animals and this entire world that is equally alive.



To learn more on how to prevent and stop Self-Abuse, visit:

385. The Most Important Job in the World: Parenting


A Review & Commentary on the Documentary ‘The Naked Room’/El Cuarto Desnudo (México, 2013)

Throughout this process I’ve realized that the most important job that exists is that of being a parent. As I go understanding the fabric of our society, I can see directly how the lack of parenting skills or even the inability to know what these are or should be reflects back to our society, shaping each one of us into the individuals that at the same time, create the nature of the ‘world-system’ as is, because when we talk about ‘the world’ it’s not really the Earth, the living beings other than humans that are the problem – the whole and sole problem is who we have become as human beings and how we have shaped, modified and distorted reality through and by our mind as a consequence of lacking any efficient education and parental guidance while we are brought up in this world, which in turn affects every other part of our reality as well.

So in essence, we’ve lacked the skills to support ourselves as the units of our society to grow strong, healthy, stable and with clear directives in our lives and as a result, this society is the mirror of the lack and/or misguidance of parenting skills.


El cuarto desnudo/The naked room from AMBULANTE on Vimeo.

“The naked room” shows a whole world without leaving a single space: the examination room in a children’s hospital in Mexico City. Listening to the children, their parents and the doctors during consultations allows us to have a more profound and complex view of our social reality and of human nature.


I watched the documentary ‘The Naked Room/ El Cuarto Desnudo’ some weeks ago, here’s part of a synopsis I found about it:

The Naked Room exposes the complex and hard situations that are the consequence of something as simple as a kid wishing for a more loving brother. Also, the behavior of people with a mental disorder, a condition that always affects the loved ones (sometimes even physically). Ibáñez has not created a documentary to be enjoyed by everybody per se, I mean, we’re dealing with a brutal theme in a very direct way, with no pauses; it’s a constant display of human sadness and mental problems.

It can be easily described as a depressing film, after all it’s a natural view to the life of several persons, and some of their closest relatives, whose hopelessness has lead (some of them) to go as far as attempting to take their own lives. In a way, The Naked Room is here to explain the “why” behind suicide or self-harming, specifically when the problem happens to a kid or a teenager. What’s great about Ibáñez’s film is the fact that she is not trying to explain anything by interviewing doctors and relatives or using information from other sources. The doc is simply crafted: it’s entirely based on footage obtained from a series of meetings between psychiatrics and patients.

Ibáñez knew that showing those conversations was enough for a thought-provoking piece. All she had to do was place the camera at the right spot and then working inside the editing room. And the camerawork is really interesting and precise; firstly, it only follows the patients, hence some scenes are just fascinating: observing the facial expressions of the children while their respective relative is talking with the doctor brings a unique feeling, as the conversations deal with nothing childish, indeed.

For about half an hour we don’t see the same patient more than once, so The Naked Room engages you. The audience will want to know what’s behind, for instance, a problematic kid whose father has threatened to abandon him in the streets. There are many patients involved, so when each one of them appears again, you might be a bit confused, not remembering who is who; that could have been a flaw related to the structure, but the confusion is always temporal.

And, ultimately, the diversity only helps the documentary to be thematically richer. It can be seen as an exploration of teenagers, with such themes exposed as insecurity and social rejection, but that’s just one of its layers. The Naked Room is, simply, one of the strongest Mexican films of the year (my personal favorite from the Morelia documentary selection), even when it’s simply crafted, like I said, and very short (less than 70 minutes).”

Read more:


The constant identification of parental patterns being transmitted onto children, the lack of creating supportive familial relationships and living environment, the lack of money to have proper nutrition, healthcare, education themselves, the fact that some parents didn’t want their children in the first place, the fact that they resort to hitting them for not complying to do what they asked them to do, the physical and verbal abuse between parents, the divorces and separations that affect a child’s ability to learn and interact with others properly, the lack of sexual orientation support, the threats used as a way to establish discipline that are depicted as part of the reasons why the kids in this documentary develop mental instability, can all be traced back to the parents and the unfortunate lack of skills, information and education on how to deal with their own lives, their marriage/relationships and in turn how to be a mother or a father.

In turn, parents have only learned to react to seeing the problem that their children develop as something born out of the blue, which is the position of becoming a victim to their children’s mental instability in the form of worry and preoccupation due to not knowing ‘what is going on with their children?’ without realizing that their role is inevitably implied within what their children are experiencing as well. However, can we talk about it solely being ‘their fault’?



Understanding Who We Are as The Mind

Parents were educated in turn by their own parents and consequently the same has happened to those parents as well, which means that the parent-child relationship is the essential relationship that has shaped (ruined) the way that we develop ourselves as human beings. You might react and say ‘not me’ and I could as well, but the fact is that even if one can consider oneself having ‘good parents’ or ‘supportive parents’ the moment that there’s no principle of support to understand the mind, the feelings, the emotions, the ‘who am I’ as the mind and assist with the integration of physical living words that we can live as a decision, a self-directive process that one directs oneself to express as a Living Principle, one is already missing out the most important aspects of our relationship to ourselves, others and in turn the ‘who we are’ and will become as we come of age in this world – instead, we’ve been brought up with mechanisms that use fear, control, violence, abuse, threats in order to establish some sense of discipline and direction, as well as happiness, rewards, ‘love’ and the illusion thereof as ways to create the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ definitions that we’ve limited ourselves by, going all the time attempting to be ‘happy’ and/or dreaming of reaching an eternal happiness without even understanding how that is also a mindjob essentially. We’ve only learned to ‘cope with reality’ by reacting to the environment, to another’s words, to take things personal, to seek revenge, to be spiteful and that is of course already a massive fault in parental skills.

Not to blame ‘them’ though…

The reality is that we’ve never ever had such skills, because we had not ever before understood who we are as the mind, how it is that we are separated from our physical body through and by the mind which is a Mind Consciousness System, a design, a programmed patterned system that generates thoughts, feelings, emotions and through this our behavior, personality, fears, reactions, beliefs, etc. that we have adopted and believed is ‘who we are.’ In this documentary we can see this reality as spectators of a glimpse of how far one can experience one’s emotions and feelings to the extent of wanting to die just because there is no proper medical support, assessment or understanding of what the mind is, what our emotions is, how the patterns that we’ve acquired from parents are imbued from the moment of conception, and at birth we are directly influenced by every single word that parents speak, every single move, every single experience that parents have within themselves while being with the child – and this I am almost certain only an excruciating minority of parents have taken into consideration.


it is so damn clear in this documentary how the fact that we have taken our minds personally and others’ reactions personally, while being unable to understand Why such patterns of aggression, violence, harm, hatred exist and are coming from ‘those’ that should have ‘cared’/‘educated us’ to be able to live in this world the best way possible, which is what creates the traumatic experiences within children  that evolve to become ‘mental illnesses’ because of our inability as parents to stand as living principles for them, to become all of us in society a living example of how to live, interact and direct oneself in this world. This has been our ‘missing link’ in the relationship between parents and children, but also in our society as a whole.




The First Seven Years of Your Life

At Desteni it’s been explained how the time-frame of development from ages 0-7 is crucial in our development because that’s where the ‘programming’ process of the mind takes place, activating all the pre-existent patterns coming from parents, integrating new ones from the child’s interaction with their immediate environment – which are most of the times, parents or any other ‘parental figure’ –

“The inheritance and transference of the survival skills from both your parents takes place when the entire mind consciousness system develops within you within the mother’s womb together with your physical development. The copying and duplication of the survival skills from both your parents takes place through your observations, interactions and participations with your parents’ as the parent/child relationship develops during your childhood years (from two to three years up to the age of thirteen years).”

Veno – Structural Resonance – Part 2 – Phase 5


This means that the direct effect of our words, thoughts, behavior and emotional or feeling participation is imprinted onto children from such early stage of their lives, with them being like a virgin cd that one is about to literally ‘burn’ with information that they will simply then replay, adjust and ‘upgrade’ throughout their entire lives.  That is the magnitude and importance of the responsibility we have toward every individual that is born into this world: the world we have for them at their arrival will become the program, the structure, the patterns they’ll accept as ‘how things are’ with the possibility of only changing them once that they’ve walked their own lives, their consequences and decide for themselves to change what they have learned up to that point, which is the process of Self-Honesty and Self Responsibility that we are walking here at Desteni.


So, while watching the documentary El Cuarto Desnudo I could understand for example what has been explained in the  Spite series of interviews at Eqafe in relation to Self-Harm. Some of the kids in the documentary attempting to commit suicide, cut/punch/harm  as a response to the disbelief they had of having their parents attacking them, insulting them, not giving them all the necessary attention, hitting them, abusing them in various ways as well as managing them with ‘fear’ which in result, in a helpless attitude of ‘I just don’t know what to do with her/him anymore, doctor!’ which to a young child it doesn’t make sense that your parent, your ‘guide’ is becoming your own worst enemy or an inept person to take proper care of you and as such, even if they say ‘they care for you’ or they ‘love you’ they are still not being supportive at all in the situation… doesn’t make sense isn’t it?

And no, it won’t make sense. And this is the point we’ve missed all along and that can actually support, assist parental relationships to entirely change because what hasn’t been understood is how the Mind operates, how the mechanisms of creation of energy as emotions, thoughts, feelings is what has become the directive principle, the sole ‘director’ of ourselves to the extent that we comply to such mind/thoughts/feelings/emotions absolutely ignoring our physical bodies, the living flesh that we are and that we should never ever harm in order to ‘relieve’ some sort of emotional or feeling experience which comes from a constant struggle and inner conflict to ‘cope’ with what’s going on up there in the mind, because the children look perfectly ‘healthy’ at a physical level, but in the mind they are certainly completely possessed and this is a clear testimony for us to see what the mind does to the physical body and why it is so important to take responsibility for our minds, our bodies and completely take both into consideration before continuing inflicting any harm or abuse upon oneself, only acting upon what we ‘feel’ or experience as thoughts, emotions in the mind.

In the documentary, almost every child would cut/harm themselves, and I’m talking about Children here –  which becomes a form of self-spite: anger toward oneself so that it becomes a way to spite the parents, which doesn’t make sense to spite oneself in an attempt to get another’s attention or ‘get back at’ someone when one is being ‘attacked’ by another, as that will then in turn become the attack and abuse onto oneself, the very same attack that one can be complaining about is coming from parents.  However because children are not taught how to deal with the emotions they have at a mind level, the only way to ‘cope’ with this inner turmoil which becomes self-hate is to resort to self-destruction. Do ‘they’ really want to do it? No, it’s who they are as the mind that want to harm themselves, just because the amount of energy continued to be thought of and used up by the individual is too extensive for the child to stop and get back to physical reality to understand how one is abusing one’s own body and in essence doing onto themselves what they were complaining that others were doing onto them at first – and this is how the ‘chain’ of self-abuse is continued.


EPSON scanner image



Learning from the Parents

With friction and conflict stemming from their family/environment situation, children learn to ‘cope’ with the constant conflictive and problematic situations with their own emotions generated as a reaction to things they see in their environment, things they are unfortunately done onto, and not having any way to stand up or stop participating in these automated reactions in the mind. And these can obviously be of a wide variety of factors, such as lack of money/education that turns into a poor household where parents have to work to make a living for the entire day – being left with other family members that might turn abusive, that might not properly care after them – sometimes the parents/relatives resorting to alcohol/drugs to cope with stress, to mitigate hunger, to mitigate family abuse, being depressed, being in the verge of financial bankruptcy…. there’s also marriage disruption, physical and verbal abuse between parents, abuse from parents to child which turns into children then hitting the parents/spiting the parents, desperation from parents for not knowing what to do with them and so children see themselves as being ‘a problem’ a ‘drag’ to the parents to the extent that they reason it’s best to die/commit suicide than continue living – and this may come from parents expressing them that ‘they don’t know what to do with them any longer’ or how ‘they wished they had never been born’  which once again, to a child and even if you the reader  never got told this, placing ourselves in the shoes of children being told this, it is mostly obvious that there will be a reaction of feeling worthless, not desired, not loved, inferior and this remains as permanent rejection throughout their lives unless they encounter support while growing up to not take such words personally, but understand how they come from parental distress, desperation, not knowing ‘what to do’ with their own lives and in turn not knowing what to do with their children.


There might emerge a desire to blame parents for that – but blame once again would lead us to miss out the point here. Blaming, holding grudge, being constantly mad, angry, frustrated at parents or even hating them is only the outflow of not getting a supportive, comforting and adequate parental support for the parents themselves to begin with while they were in the position of being the children. And one would say, yes, it makes sense to be angry for not getting that – but, this is where I implore you to consider the ‘greater context’ which is how I assisted myself to – within and after the documentary ended – be able to clearly see where the surges of blame or anger toward parents were coming from and immediately understand how it is necessary to see the ‘greater context’ to take all points into consideration to understand such parental and children relationships throughout our entire history.

The key here is understanding a very, very important point: All can be Self-Forgiven and Must be Self-Forgiven in order to stop holding on to the grudges created from children to parents and vice-versa if we truly want to change the world.


Human Chains (pic)


No ‘parent’ knows How to be a Parent.

No person is born knowing How to be a parent, a self supportive and adequate one, how to become an example for your child to ‘look up to’ because No Human Being has EVER been such Living Example for oneself or for others – yet. Sure there have been great personalities in the world that were ‘great men and women,’ but even that one can notice that people in politics or social change in the world such as Mandela for example, when his daughters were interviewed they were proud of him for the principles he stood for, but as a parent they had no further comment other than really not knowing ‘him’ as such, because he had not really been around with them….. point to ponder.

So, the problem is in fact not that we haven’t learned ‘how to be a parent’ but how to be a Living Human Being. We have only been mind-robots driven by thoughts, feelings, emotions, not knowing ‘how’ to cope with them, how to direct them because we entirely accepted ‘who we are’ as our mind and so, what happens is that the moment that we Identify ourselves with the mind as ‘Who we are’ entirely without any possibility of change, that’s where we dissociate ourselves from our ability to be self-directive which means, realizing that everything that we’ve become is the byproduct of generation after generation of human beings that have not known how to direct/deal with one’s thoughts, feelings and emotions – in essence with one’s mind – but only learned from certain religious and moral dogmas and ‘authorities’ that became only ways to control people through fear, or control through the illusion of ‘love’ which is another point I have had previously discussed.



What does being a Living Human Being mean?

The self that we all have and can become the moment that we start living and applying the realization that one has to honor, support, care, develop and nurture oneself to become an example of what it is to act, do and speak what is best for oneself and everyone else as equals. Becoming the Living Word, the Living Example for oneself and others to follow as the norm, the way, the law of our being in which we can trust ourselves and each other to realize that no matter what: I honor, consider, support and care for myself , I stand as my own support and as such, stand as support for and toward everything/everyone else as myself, as life, as equals. This is the standard, this is how we can genuinely ‘change the world.’

So because we have failed to live this way with and for ourselves, the consequence is and has been that all our relationships have failed to be fruitful and bloom into a world that we can all be genuinely ‘happy’ to live in. With understanding this premise of the ‘legacy’ we have in terms of the ‘human nature’ as the mind, the generation after generation passing of ‘the sins of the fathers’ it then becomes much easier to understand why a human being that has taken the role of being a parent has failed to become a living example for his/her children, because the consideration of being a Living Human Being has never existed – yet we do have all the potential of each one of us becoming such living example of being the human beings that we all know we can be and become – and this is where our responsibility resides: to ensure that we can be the example of how the so-called ‘human nature’ is able to be self-forgiven, stopped, self corrected and changed.


This understanding that I just shared here in written words is what I used to then see, realize and understand and self forgive the surges of any emotions that could have been accumulated while watching the documentary, and through this understanding rather seeing this documentary not only as presentation of the problems we have within children at a mental level – instead, it also becomes a  motivation to see once again for myself that there is just SO much that is required to get done in relation to education in this world, so much to be understood about the mind, who we are as the mind and how we can in fact support each other to assist those children to change and solve their experiences… but most importantly the Parents of those and any other children to prevent ‘The Naked Rooms’ around the world where children attempt to get support from psychiatrists, while not even being aware of the root and cause of the problem: ourselves as individuals, as human beings that have never lived to the best of our potential – but have only ‘coped’ with reality through and as a mind system that generates constant friction and conflict as the experience of ‘living.’ And to grasp this there’s quite a lot of understanding and information to self-educate oneself about this, which I will provide at the end of this blog.



Self Forgiving the Sins of the Parents 

Once one understands how ‘who we are’ is the reflection of what we’ve always been since the beginning of ourselves as humanity, we can truly see that there is no other way out of our hatred, our anger, our despair, our grudges, our laments, our grief toward parents, children, relatives or authority figures other than applying the principle of Self Forgiveness. Without Self-Forgiveness it would be very difficult to come to a resolution about any form of abuse that one has experienced through one’s life, whether from parents or anyone else. So I suggest to dissolve the word tag of ‘parent’ for a moment and just see ourselves as human beings, not being born knowing ‘how to live’ and ‘how to be self-directive in our mind’  and begin applying Self-Forgiveness for allowing ourselves to be driven by thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions wherein as a child, one has no further idea as to what is being experienced within self – all the fear, the worry, the stress, the anger, the rage,the hate that is formed at home toward parents, siblings, teachers, schoolmates, all of it existing within self without proper direction other than medicines and ‘cures’ that don’t take into consideration the source and core of the problem: the who we are and have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind.


I’ve noticed that one of the most difficult things to do for children/people that have been abused by others – whether they are parents, siblings, relatives, schoolmates, etc. – is the ability to self-forgive, to absolutely take into consideration and understand why the other individual abuses, take into consideration their entire life, their entire upbringing, their social and economic background, their habits/addictions, their ‘modus vivendi’ and experiences and how they too also didn’t know at the same time HOW to deal with their own minds, and how it is the same for all of us – not a single one left without a mark – of passing this unresolved understanding of who we are as human beings from generation after generation up to the point where our ‘fuckups’ are escalating to the extent that one can only look at 3 year olds – or even earlier than that now –to already see the patterns they mirror of the parents and the generations that have gone before us.

One could say: well how come they learn to manipulate, to spite, to be envious and selfish, to be depressive, to be sensitive, to be angry, to hit others to get what they want, to treat others as superior or inferior, to like and dislike, to be a stubborn… and yes, a child is the entire reflection of the parents and of humanity in its entirety for that matter that only develops the rest of the pre-installed programming through the interactions with parents and the environment. And because it is only now that we are understanding these mechanisms that exist within the mind in the physical and the vital importance that this mind and physical relationship has in our upbringing, it means that we still have a lot to do in this world in order to make each one of us aware of this process, how to direct it, how to support ourselves so that we can start establishing solutions and a new educational process where we can change the world by changing humanity, which means: changing the way that we educate ourselves as human beings, which implies at the same time that the relationship between parents and children is the one we have to focus on, as it will be the guideline and blueprint for all other relationships developed by the child throughout their/our entire lives.


This also thus ties in with the previous blog entry wherein I explained to the people that first didn’t want to hear how it is about time that we STOP the patterns that we’ve continued from generation after generation in relation to the abuse of ‘educating children’ by hitting them, or teaching them to ‘fight/attack back’ upon abuse or become spiteful and vengeful… all of this MUST GO and Must be stopped by ourselves as the parents, the family members, the teachers, the siblings, the people around kids to become the examples of the way we can Always direct ourselves in a way that is best for everyone: self supportive, considerate, being able to communicate effectively, being the living words of the principles we want our children to embody as well and as such, children will learn by default  – from their very first interactions in a world where we all act and live by principle of what is best for all and as such, by default, learn how to live by principles too.

It is only an excuse and negligence to say that the human can’t change, that we can only resort to psychologists or psychiatrists – this is unacceptable. What we require is to apply a New understanding and vision of who we are as human beings in order to support every single being that comes into this world to adopt the new living ways that we can begin living within ourselves individually and in the ‘without’ as the way the world system operates. For that, investigate the Living Income Guaranteed to provide support for parents to have sufficient time to stay at home implementing the new education available for parents and for any other individual –regardless of being a parent or not – at the DIP Lite course for free.


It certainly won’t be the same to bring a child to a self-supportive world where you have a guaranteed income/have your human rights being genuinely granted and assured with money provided to you from birth than a baby that is born in a condition of poverty in a third world country where not even a solid foundation of family or parents exist, because everyone is on a survival modality. It doesn’t make sense anymore to continue allowing our children to grow up in front of the TV and computer screens or taken care by ‘third parties,’ and the reason why this is so is because everyone has to ‘get a job to live’ and there’s no support given to parents to get time to educate their children. This should make it clear how it is all of us that are ‘shooting our leg’ by not providing to each other the right to life, so it’s about time we understand that the new way of Living is to Support Ourselves and Support All Life Equally to become our fullest potential.


To learn how to stop being only a mind that perpetuates the patterns and sins of the fathers, research:


Parental Support:


Parenting and Educational Blogs:



379. “This World is the Universe’s Asylum”


“Ask yourself this: Does mankind deserve redemption for everything it’s done? Is this a world which deserves to be saved? Everything you see around you, all those wars, all those acts of destruction and brutality were caused by the minds of people. We’ve destroyed this world without even batting an eyelid and you wish for us to be saved? Why?
Though well intentioned, your solutions will fail and never be heard; your voice of reason is barely a whisper in this world. How are you going to convince 7 billion people to be compassionate, loving, kind and respectful to one another and the world? You can’t and you won’t. Sorry. We condemned ourselves to this hell hole existence a long time ago. This world is the universe’s asylum. Have fun in the mad house!! Get the 9-5 job, work until your old, watch TV, eat junk food, obey the law. Trust me, this world ain’t going anywhere. It’s here to stay, sadly. You may as well partake in the madness while you’re here. What else is there to do?”


This is a comment placed as a response to the vlog I Want the World to End and it brings up the same mentality that I would have remained in – or probably dug my own grave with – if I had not stumbled upon Desteni and taking on this Journey to Life, to finally shed the skin of apathy and misanthropy that at times emerges whenever I see or read about things that I haven’t yet fully realized are part of everything that is here, myself, no matter how hideous they may be.


Pollution - 2003 - Marlenlife


To the person that wrote the comment, thanks for writing it out as it has opened up a window of opportunity to renew my vows to myself and this process and explain the starting point of everything that we do, which  is precisely to get past such enslaved mentality of ‘nothing’s gonna change the world’ and only seek and con-form with bits of highs here and there and sit down and feel miserable about every thing that we’ve been and become, all that we’ve created as a world that we rather feel sad, ashamed of, despise or even ‘accept as is’ instead of doing something about it.  This is the kind of message that can only trap you when one believes oneself to be ‘so small, so little, so insignificant’ to create any form of change in this world, which certainly begins with ourselves, our own life.


It’s astounding how we discourage each other from stepping out of the (mind)frame, however I understand the individual’s starting point for sharing this and how the origin of such words are not even questioned by the author, I can read no life in it, it’s only a mind speaking for it’s own survival: the resistance to change, the hopelessness, helplessness, conformity, apathy and judgmental behavior for the sake of seeing everyone else on ‘the same boat,’ seemingly lost.  And this is not to be taken personal, as once again, it’s not the potential of life speaking for the individual, but only the ‘who we are’ as the lesser form of ‘life’ that we have become, the de-manned position.


The starting point of walking this process is not within the hopes of ‘changing 7 billion people,’ that would be rather disingenuous and not  considering the reality that we are in wherein yes, it will take a long time to change our current human nature, it will take the most effort from each one of us since it is as if we were all addicts of the worst kind wherein our very own lives and this planet’s stability depends on us getting unhooked from very addictive drugs which creates secondary reactions such as fear of changing, apathy, complacency, hopelessness, helplessness, positivity, negativity that I also once experienced, seeing no way out and then simply deciding to ‘jump in the boat’ of the hopeless ones, because apparently feeling miserable about the world make me at least ‘feel good’ and ‘alive’ – yes, it sounds contradictory if one does not understand how the mind operates. Once you get to understand who we are as the mind and decide to stop feeding the constant desire, want and need to FEEL anything – whether positive or negative – you start realizing how puny this little energy-whoring system that we’ve become really is.


Robot man - 2003 - Marlenlife


However it does take quite a constant and diligent decision to stop seeking the energy, the experience, the ‘thrill’ and instead breathe and direct oneself to what is physically supportive – and yes, that means that there’s no ‘highs’ or ‘bad’ experiences in doing what’s best for all, in moving oneself to become a living example of a mind-addict reformed human being, and that’s why walking this process is so unpopular in our reality – for now – because it provides no energetic payoff that one can feel ‘good about.’ Yet, all I can say is that consequences in our reality are knocking on everyone’s door and I certainly cannot recommend to anyone anything else but getting hands on keyboard or pen and start writing, start straightening up ourselves, start making sense of our own ‘mindful selves’ wherein the usual points of support sought are street or over-the-counter drugs, ad-vices from other people, escapism through alcohol, sex, developing ‘extreme habits’ only to get away from facing oneself…


This is the nature of our current selves drowned in a very limited pit that exists as the mind that we have delegated our every-moment of our lives to. And so, the entire ‘mess’ and ‘Universe’s asylum’ that who we are as this world have become is nothing else but a proof, a written testimony of what the majority of us are thinking and acting upon every single day, making of these thoughts our creed. And then we ponder ‘why are we so fucked up???’ while ignoring that the sheer experience one usually has when asking such question with extreme awe is already a 1+ vote to humanity’s  similar thought-patterns and experience – and once again: an experience ONLY exists in our mind.


Look at the trees, look at the animals, look at the air: does it show any emotion or feeling or speak about ‘giving up’ or ‘seeing no way out in this world’? Do birds get depressed and tired when the sun comes up and think of rather staying in a branch wallowing in their misery? Of course not. If anything, every single part of this existence is far more aware than a human being, and by all parts I mean animals, plants, nature, every blade of grass and that includes what we consider ‘inanimate’ too – it’s just common sense that everything that is here is an enclosed reality of which we’ve never been ‘outsiders’ from, which means that everything we see and are here is ourselves, our creation. 




Deciding to jump into the comfort of apathy, disdain, hatred, misanthropy or plain disgust with ourselves as humanity is nothing else but another justification, excuse and distraction to not acknowledge what it is that we are here for: to understand ourselves as creators. Yes, we have even built gods to do the ‘dirty work’ for us and have someone to blame for everything that went wrong,  just because we’ve been so scared to realize and understand that every single atrocity committed in this world is ourselves, and yes, I know, it does get your reactions going on when witnessing some horrible acts that reveal our current human decay, but that’s the whole point of it: it’s about realizing that any atrocity, any thought, word and deed against life is committed by everyone of us each time that we do not act within the consideration of what is best for all, which imply energy-less physical moments of self-direction, self-will, self-responsibility and self-honesty to act in the best interest of all.


These are empty words without having context as to how to live them, because they are not part of our inherent programming as to understand ‘How to be self-honest,’ ‘How to learn how to Care for yourself and another,’ ‘how to develop self-integrity,’ ‘how to become self-directive.’ In a world where the word responsibility is immediately hooked on to the usual connotations of fear and resistance, it becomes quite ‘challenge’ to remove the veils and see thing for the potential we all have to change each word into a living expression wherein, in fact,  taking self-responsibility is one of the most empowering things we can do in our reality.


Defeated - 07


Look at the ‘elites,’ those in ‘power,’ they stand as points of responsibility in our societies and because the rest of us decided to cross our arms, sit and watch TV to be entertained, they automatically got a carte blanche to do whatever they would think about that would provide the best experience, the greatest reward, the most power – isn’t this something that we All participate in as well? So why are we blaming Others for ‘doing bad things to us’ when we think and assess our reality using the exact same mental framework that ‘THEY’ do to commit the ‘BAD’ and ‘EVIL’ deeds in the world – people are nothing else but parts of ourselves we continue to deny as ourselves too, and within this we believe we don’t have any ‘say’ on this world because apparently ‘we haven’t done anything wrong’ but as long as one continues to fear outcomes instead of walking through the solution in the moment itself, we’ll continue to lengthen our process: unless we stand up for ALL life within the understanding that the part that commits all atrocities, all the madness, the neglect, the irresponsibility, the dishonesty, the nastiness is the ‘who we are’ and have become as the Mind – yet, who ‘those’ people are as flesh and bones is no different to anyone of us reading these words and that’s where each one of us has the potential to wake up from zombieland mindcontrol and start realizing how much time and space we’ve wasted in ‘feeling like a waste’ in a world that we’re turning into a wasteland with our own apathy to correct and direct things into its right place, to deliberately push ourselves to become individuals that can be trusted with life.

But again, ‘trusted with life’ seems meaningless and pointless when we haven’t even been ‘alive’ for real, we’ve only existed as automated patterns that we have called our life and within such diminished and narrow-view we then create an equally narrow view of our ‘doomed lives’ wherein we dare to write comments like the guy that wrote that – once again – without even understanding or pondering about the origin of such words and how within each one of us ‘living’ such words, we become the very problem subsumed in the ‘greater problem’ that we’ve made of our reality, due to this accepted and allowed apathetic and dreadful behavior of ‘nothing’s going to change anyways.’


Well, I’ve been there done that, and the reason why I made that video is precisely to address and reach out to anyone that feels the exact same way, which is quite common since everything we see around us is mostly the ultimate decay and bottom line that we’re reaching as humanity. There’s no denial of that, however this is about realizing that who we are and have become is nothing else but the worst of the worst, the lowest point that we can reach as a collective, to finally understand how we feel miserable and so create this world as misery because of such thoughts existing within ourselves in the first place. And so, the rest goes on with each word we direct to continue drowning ourselves in our self-created torment in our minds, without realizing that in doing so, we’re doing nothing else but creating excuses and justifications as to why we’re not standing up and taking responsibility for the mess that we’ve collectively created.




Have we been ‘bad’ as human beings? One only has to see the results of our thoughts, words and deeds and have the results speak for themselves. If we continue to bash us,judge us, blame each other and ultimately lose any sense of respect for oneself and another, we will continue living in our current world that we are all so fed up of, yet we fail to see that the answer to stop recreating the ‘shithole’ resides in our very own hands, in our words, in our actions, in the decision to live and do what gives zero energetic high, but endless self-stability and clarity that emerges with the certainty of being and doing what is right, what is best for all.


Fortunately, I’m walking this process to never again allow myself to be trapped in the swamps of the moody mind patterns of ‘this world is going to hell, so why bother doing anything about it?’ and actually deliberately direct myself to investigate, create and support solutions to this world, which at this stage, must come from the realization that We CAN do this if we all give ourselves that initial chance to stop the addiction to feeling miserable, sad, depressed, hopeless, helpless and instead realize that this world is about breathing and doing, not about feeling and thinking, that’s been our whole problem, so let’s stop rambling, let’s rather become part of a 1+ human physical body that decides to live, breathe and create in consideration of what’s best for all, that’s deal reached.


We’re not here to save others, we’re here to stand up, face and correct ourselves, and within understanding who this self is, you then won’t require to get entangled with the idea of ‘changing 7 billion people.’ So I suggest: less thinking,  more of self-awareness, developing self-integrity required to do this as a principled living, not as a result-driven thing – this is about making a decision of who one is every single moment, where I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to exist within a limited framework of my mind wherein I have seen the world from the ‘gloomy-scope,’ meaning seeing no way out, without realizing I was only seeing through this thought/emotion filter of mind which I became used to because it was much easier to ‘feel bad’ than stopping and actually doing what is supportive for oneself: to stop thinking, and feeling miserable and instead focus on the potential that exists within each one of us to ‘save oneself’ from becoming another mental patient in the asylum that each one of us reside in when existing only in the mind.


So, this world isn’t the asylum: our minds are our personalized one, and as long as we remain complacent to what we think, believe, feel, experience only in our imaginary worlds: the world will still look like a perverted-story of what could have been a genuine paradise. Is it too late? is there salvation? is there ‘light’ at the end of the tunnel? I don’t know, nor do I Have to KNOW as that would only once again be a creation of the asylum mentality that keeps us bound to fear, limitation and neglect most of the times. So, the solution is to act in every moment that we are here and can physically act in the best interest of ourselves and each other, which begins the moment we decide to stop participating in the collective delirium of giving up on ourselves and the world, without understanding first how it only is another trick of our minds that we can also stop and correct to not be shaken again by words, pictures, thoughts, imaginations that maintain us in our schizophrenic reality, separated from what is real here.


My voice and that of others walking with within this journey might seem a ‘whisper in the 7 billions in this world,’ but again, trying and change others is not our goal either, it would be cool but we understand how reality and self-change works,  so we can be the example of what it is to be able to shed the skin of limited prepackaged personalities and genuinely learn how to create ourselves, it’s the best process one can ever undertake in this world, yet be warned: there is no ‘high’ in it and that’s the challenge: this process won’t make you feel greater, stronger, smarter or being just the god in your world, and that’s the whole point: to learn how to live as physical beings instead of existing as walking mind delusions on two feet that do not even understand why we follow every single thought that comes in our mind and immediately thinking ‘its me thinking’ ‘it’s me talking’ ‘it’s me feeling…..


Mr. Madhouse porter – what else is there to do in this world, in our lives but to get ourselves out of the personalized asylum? Only in insanity would anyone want to remain in a miserable and limited position, so let’s start with developing a bit of care to see what it is that we would really want to live like in this world and start doing something about it.  We all are the madhouse’s porter until we dare to see that the insanity only exists in the mind, not the physical.


It wasn't Eve - 07


To broaden one’s spectrum of reality:

372. Desteni Insider: Mind Control and Brainwashing

“The world is in reverse” is the premise to consider whenever the Desteni Material is approached and that is because you are going to face your own brainwashing to the utmost degree, up to the point wherein the ‘you’ that has been occupying the body that you are living in will be stripped down to the core to see what is of real substance and what has been only the byproduct of the endless indoctrination and conditioning within a world-system wherein fear conducts the way toward happiness, light, love, success and an elusive freedom. Reading the first words again “The world is in reverse” means that we haven’t even yet pondered why we seek all these ‘great and good things’ without realizing that such desired experiences indicate that we are by default existing in the exact opposite: sadness/depression, dullness, hate, failure and enslavement. The Orwellian state of the world is the premise one could use from popular culture to understand that such perversion of words is not limited to governments or any other corporate institution that seeks to make the most profit by selling the abuse of life with smiles and frequent client rewards, it has become the foundation of our very own vocabulary as the words that we claim we “live” without genuinely understanding what such verb in fact implies within a reality that is intricately designed to abuse and harm all life in order to continue supporting the schizophrenic concept of ‘living’ that we are enduring at the moment. Yes, it’s being endured without pondering why is life such a struggle, why do we have to strive to make a living, and the point that I will focus on within this blog is the righteous act of wanting to revolt and blame the system for how things have come to be due to our so-called education process where we learn the best ways to dissociate ourselves from the realization of who we are as part of a collective organism that will create reality according to the nature of the thoughts we have in mind. It’s clear that such separation has turned to be the mirror reality we try to avoid and recognize as our own reflection.


Continuing from:

What you are in your mind won't pravail - wake up

What you are in your mind won’t prevail, wake up! (2009)


It is interesting that the Desteni Material and all of us involved in applying the principles at Desteni have been called out for being a ‘thought reform group’ or ‘mind control cult’ and any other form of slander which, according to the necessary premise on how ‘the world is in reverse,’ it is actually a good thing since that means that we are genuinely breaking the status quo of what has been accepted as ‘healthy thinking and behavior’ because we certainly such thinking processes have led us ( k )nowhere but evolving the ways with which to abuse life and each other in the name of greed. What I have done throughout my participation within the Desteni group is to learn how to investigate all things and keep what’s best, which is placing everything we’ve ever known under the magnifying glass to see whether the education at home, in schools, in society, in our relationships, in the words that we speak genuinely stand as the tools words are to create a world that is best for all.

We shouldn’t even require to confirm that none of the ways in which we have ever lived have been supportive for all of us as human beings, otherwise the world would have already been a place that is genuinely best for all and our reality as our creation is an irrevocable proof of that. Some of the misinformation propagated by the Desteni antagonists claim that we ‘segregate’ ourselves from humanity, from our families and friends, from our reality by being submerged in an individual process where we forgive ourselves for accepting all the lies and deception that we were taught as ‘how things are’ and the relationships based on self interest that lead us to become the predictable patterns that keep the world as is– what a disgraceful behavior, isn’t it? To self forgive every single aspect of our separation from our living realization of how everything we have ever been has been a lie since it has never given birth to life.



If anything it should already be a matter of concern that we all know that the education system is not working, that parents don’t even know how to educate their children, that our authorities stand as examples of how to get to be the most ‘powerful and successful’ individuals by being the most corrupted version of ourselves as personality profiles that are accepted, allowed and endorsed in a world-system that is founded upon abuse – yet! If one begins to understand principles that consider Life in Equality, genuine Self-Respect, Honor, Integrity and the consideration of Life as the one and only real value that exists, one is called out for being ‘brainwashed’ or ‘mind controlled’ or attempting to introduce ‘communism’ which is just another word like the bell to Pavlov’s dogs to ‘instantly’ react to it and expecting security and a sense of comfort as the reward by defending the right to be ‘free to be a capitalist,’  without even understanding what the words they are reacting to in fact mean.


The main problem we have realized is to what extent words as equality, collectivism, dignity, respect, integrity and so on are as vacuous as can be, simply because there have been no living examples in humanity that stand as such  living words – Jesus was one of the few and then was turned into a religious effigy to obfuscate the genuine fact that he was a man that lived the physical common sense meaning of such words. As humanity we have become the example of what it is to intellectualize and even deify living examples of what it is to live in self-respect, to live self-forgiveness and the willingness to be in the service of life itself which doesn’t only entail human to human interaction, but toward every single particle of what is here as part of ourselves, as the life we have hijacked in the name of power and control and within doing so, mining our own home that we’ve been trashing for far too long now.




When facing one’s own brainwashing one can distinctly realize that every single word we’ve been taught and consequently “lived” has been part of the necessary deceptive mechanisms to keep this flawed, corrupted and vile condition on Earth, a collective acceptance and allowance of distrust, lies, abuse and adopting any form of contract to settle ownerships upon reality for the sake of buying and selling, no matter how much harm such processes inflict upon life as long as one’s own survival is secured.


Brainwashing and Mind Control are terminals of the same function within which we have all accepted and allowed ourselves to live in this world basing ‘who we are’ on ideas, beliefs, perceptions, feelings, emotions, imaginations, future projections and an innumerable amount of memories that we go collecting and layering as ‘who we are’ throughout our lives with which we form our identity, the ‘self’ that we Think ourselves to be – is it, really?


This is the main point one face within and throughout the Desteni I Process, which is the necessary process to walk through when one realizes that all of this understanding needs to be applied at an individual level to see where we stand within it and how to practically lay out the solutions that we ourselves can write and cross reference with other people that are doing this same process with themselves, so that the development of Common Sense as the living application of acting, thinking and doing what is best for all is established as the foundation of the living self that we commit ourselves to be and become once that we realize that yes, we cannot trust the foundation of who we are as the ego that was bred to re-enact the same patterns of self-abuse, we must change it and this won’t come with a simple realization or a few positive thinking statements – not at all, because everything that we have become is in essence the accumulated history of humanity turned into the most convoluted forms to ensure survivalism, self interest and enhancing individual traits that have created the current alarming state of the world as is right now which is on the verge of self-destruction by our own thoughts and hands.

There is nothing more beneficial that can exist nowadays but to walk this process that consists of a fundamental self-investigation on and about everything that exists within and as all levels of our mind and reality to see who we really are within it all and how we can instead direct ourselves to integrate living patterns and habits that can be beneficial for ourselves and everyone equally; this is what I have realized is the only way to generate a living society in conjunction with the understanding and integration of the physical laws into the new equation necessary in this reality to  actually create a world that is best for all. Where is the point of abuse or ‘brainwashing’/ ‘mind control’ within this all? I would like to ask someone to explain to me because I see nothing else but the common sensical and honorable directions that if embraced by each individual on this world, we would have a New Earth without a problem – and this is where Self Responsibility comes in.



Throughout these 5 years walking with the Desteni group and practically applying/living the living principles promoted such as Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness and the consideration at all times of that which is Best for All to implement within and without of myself, I have been able to break-through the main patterns in which I had kept myself complacent to the system, including the personality-traits in relation to ‘wanting to change the world’ without first understanding that such change must be first self-directed at an individual level. To me it was common to spot the ‘flaws’ within the world system or people’s behavior, but I always used to take the righteous stand of ‘I am right and you are all dead wrong’ – I had to go through a personal scrutiny to realize that I also had been brainwashed and had accepted such brainwashed stance as my own mind control of ‘who I am’ and ‘what I must be.’ Only throughout time I have been able to look back and see how within the particular path I had chosen in terms of my career on visual arts, my particular behavior and stance toward humanity – which was mostly that of superiority toward the ‘brainwashed’ and ‘sheeple’ in humanity – I was on my way to become the usual dissident within the world system, the kind of person that would be protesting on and on about how wrong things are while diving myself into the usual suffering-despair of how ‘No one is going to change, so let’s just live our lives the way that we want to, because we can’t change anything anyways’ and ultimately losing any ability to discern the potential of the capabilities I had but begun tampering with dreams of escapism, evasion of reality and enhancement of personality traits veering toward more ‘spiritual solutions’ rather than considering the physicality of the problem I was witnessing in this world, my world.


This particular personal stance of opposition, dissidence and antagonism went on to extremes wherein I was aiming at having nothing to do with the system, only focusing on pursuing my personal interests and becoming an individual that is well known for producing ‘nice pictures’ and get great money out of that – that’s all that I had reduced myself to in my belief that ‘we are doomed, there’s no way out of this system’ and within that using my own self-talk to justify such stance and position –hence the main topic of my art being mostly that of self destruction and emotional states that I thought were ‘the real me’ and it was, until I literally took off the blindfold when I got to Desteni.





Amidst a general sense of despair, hopelessness and apathy toward politics or anything having to do with the structure of the system, I moved myself out of any attempt to ‘make it’ in the system within the false belief that I was going to be able to do things ‘my way’ and never again have anything to do with that which I came to despise: the world system, humanity, money, politics and social sciences, economics… It was truly a tantrum the one I was living in right before getting to Desteni, yet it seemed very normal to others in my reality within the acceptance and allowance of my self-proclaimed belief that I was ‘beyond’ that, and that my inner-truth was to express through something more ‘meaningful’ like art where I could be ‘in touch with my emotions.’ Yes, believe it or not, that was me and it can be read in a very palpable way in the very first years of my process wherein a single moment with myself alone still felt filled with  a mixture of anxiety, depression, sadness, despair, helplessness and hopelessness turned into a victimized state of how ‘the world is a shitty place and there’s nothing I can do about it.’


It has only been in the past 3 years that everything started becoming more clear in relation to how our particular personalities are the perfect locks wherein we get so entrenched in our beliefs and ideals that we neglect almost everything that does not ‘fit’ with our self-religion, where we can guarantee the maximum ability to ‘enjoy life’ and keep augmenting our egos to ensure a safe spot in the concrete jungle where survival of the fittest means having a successful living – well, in my case it meant: do whatever you can to not be in the system, forget about everything that is evil in the world and rather promote a form of benevolence that can make people feel better, at least for a moment. This also implies doing things that according to my point of view then meant ‘challenging the system’ like smoking weed and making statements wherein I considered that I was ‘challenging the powers/the system’ and inciting people to ‘explore the spiritual realm’ in a desperate move to simply ignore reality and seek for some ‘greater meaning out there.’ Little did I realize then that what I was in fact doing was giving up on myself, seeking for something ‘greater’ to just do the work for us and not have to take responsibility for the hideous reality that I could ‘not bear to live in any longer,’ without even knowing what the meaning of ‘living’ in fact is.



The easiest way to brainwash people in a similar personality design to mine is to let them believe that they are in fact ‘doing something’ by ranting and raving about ‘the system,’ by calling out the thieves, by protesting, by yelling, screaming and pouting in front of banks/corporations and governmental offices, by creating riots that could ‘disturb’ any form of control that only evolves and escalates due to the ability of the human being to be led by emotional states that are becoming more and more unpredictable, of course leading to more destruction than any form of practical solution. We can see on our daily news how unreliable and unstable the human mind is no matter what position/character in society one plays in – you can be a priest, a world leader, a loving mother or a proficient athlete and kill their partner, children or commit any other form of atrocity when being taken over by their emotions and feelings – all  kinds of atrocities are justified by each one’s acceptances and allowances at a mind level, the mind that we have taken as the immovable premise of ‘our nature’ throughout human history. It is only now that I am able to realize to what extent the profiles of a dissident, a ‘free thinker’ and a ‘willful ignorant’ are just same brainwashed characters in which people are kept well-controlled by the power of their own rage against the machine, holding a similar faith to the most assiduous religious person that somehow we will ‘overcome the evil in this world,’  holding on to the hope that shouting and pouting will ‘bring the powers down’ and create some form of solution – even the so-called ‘alternative media’ are only new mechanisms that aid this control through utilizing ‘new’ ways to approach young people, calling out to revolt, to be angry, to go out to the streets, to ‘challenge the system’ by promoting the legalization of drugs and internet privacy within the belief that such propositions are the only bastions left to ‘regain the power’ and that’s precisely the problem that has happened throughout time: revolutions were never meant to establish living principles in this world, but only a call out to take over the power and turn the tables, keeping the world in exactly the same place – same inequality with new righteous hands in office. The age old saying of divide and conquer has not been fully realized, yet.


I have realized time and time again that there is nothing more important right now as an individual in this world other than focusing on actually taking responsibility for ourselves, however such words cause allergy to anyone that gets a kick out of ‘confronting’ the system in all of the ways explained throughout this blog. I can attest how it is only when realizing all my personality traits to evade reality and use this willful ignorance in an eloquent manner led me to mislead myself, my own choices in life, the people I had established relationships with and the evasion of reality that I defended and guarded as having a right to ‘do whatever I want in my life because I was hurting no one’ – this is the mind of the willful ignorant that is looking at the problems, that pretends to understand but when it comes to living a solution that can be of benefit to ourselves, to actually understand the responsibility we have in our hands to stand as an example of ‘the change we want to see in this world,’ all kinds of excuses and backdoors are open to just have a righteous statement to not change, to not challenge that which we have cultivated for so long which is our own ego, our own brainwashing and mind control. This is what I have come to irrevocably realize day by day whenever we approach solutions to the world system which we have through developing various means like the proposal of the Equal Money System which was an entire process that I will also walk and an essential aspect I decided to stand for and as by myself to precisely shed the anti-system skin I was busy turning into a hard veneer to justify my antagonism and antipathy toward ‘the system’ and humanity itself, which I later on understood was only a constant fight toward myself. This is one of the multiple realizations of the simple words you might hear many, many times throughout the Desteni Material: Oneness and Equality, where the Oneness points out the interdependence that we exist as toward each other as the coexistence in this same world and the Equality that is existent at the substance and physical level, yet perfectly concealed with all forms of separation that we have CULTivated in our minds in the form of egos, personalities, cultures, religions, political parties, the very words we use to justify any form of separation and abuse.




One of the most prominent points I decided to take on within this process was to develop common sense to stand as a voice that proposes solutions, that investigates other solutions and point out why they are not genuine solutions within the ability to spot a point of deception that would in turn only re-create the same patterns of the past instead of genuinely creating a present with a solid realization of the solutions to implement in this world. So I’ve walked from the anti-system character to an individual that first walks this personal process of de-brainwashing through the dissident, the rebel, the antagonist to the system and instead walk a process of self responsibility to understand the problem, to see my direct participation within it and direct the problem toward directive solutions that we can all embody in the form of living principles. This is where I am now and it is certainly something never ever in my ‘wildest dreams’ did I envision myself doing, which is proposing solutions for this world system as it currently exists, placing political statements on a written and spoken manner suggesting ways to learn how to coexist as humanity since I had already agreed to ‘give up on humanity,’ which was really only ‘giving up on myself.’

This process is not yet done, every day, every minutest form of resistance, any movement toward the old patterns of sadness, despair and a giving up can emerge and that is where every moment I decide who and what I accept and allow myself to be. From this perspective the platform that we are developing as a group as Desteni is actually the perfect foundation to establish a solution at a global scale wherein the brainwashing, the problems in this world are understood and directed from within to establish clear directives without, as we learn how to understand the cause of the problem – ourselves, our own mind – and as such learn how to stand one and equal as the system to establish clear solutions without as the world system. This is the one process, the one ‘thing’ I have been the most consistent of within my life that was meant to veer from fad to fad seeking for more elaborate ways to justify my personal inaction to establish solutions – this time I have developed sufficient self-trust to place myself in a position where I can support myself and others to realize the points I’ve explained throughout this Witness blog as I can stand by the words explained here, having stopped participation in primary forms of personal reality evasions like alcohol or any form of drugs to stand sound and clear on a daily basis witnessing myself and this reality as one massive creation to turn into a genuine work of art, and that begins within myself, ourselves.


More to come…


Thanks for reading and walking with.



Walking the Triple Process (2010)

The Revolutionary Character: From Activist, Anti-Politics and Anti System to Self Responsibility
The Elitist Character – Seeking Success and then Antagonizing the System



Blogs and Vlogs on Brainwashing and Mind Control:

355. Activism and Mind Control |
2011 Activism Is Futile
2011 The Zeitgeist Movement: Resistance is Futile
98. Words as Mind Control |
183. Like and Dislike = Mind Control
2008- 21 days of no weed!
Communism stigmatized Equality
217. You Fear Communism? Why would That Be? |
Mind Control VictimsRead all about it! |
Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing
Occupy Wall Street’s Solution: Equal Money for ALL –
2011 Capitalism is Brainwash: Are YOU Brainwashed?
Earth Day? Please… Common Sense Required
You are what you Can Afford
2012 Money is MIND Control
2012 Gun Culture in America
2012 I Just Want to BE HAPPY – Equal Money? WHY Should I Care?
Sex, Drugs and…College? Hookup Culture
2010 I Use Alcohol on a Regular Basis

263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

How to Develop Common Sense? Desteni Process Support



And don’t forget to watch The Century of the Self 

355. Activism and Mind Control


Time to get some critical thinking skills here to test whether you are emotionally driven to Change the System or supporting causes that have no viability to be implemented and generate permanent solutions that can correct the ways in which we are individually and collectively creating the world system we are all realizing must be corrected – is Activism the way to do this?



Problems – Part 1                                         

  • Could it be that the same mind control techniques that in the past century were used to make people compulsively buy and link this experience to a sense of freedom, self determination and democratic values are now being utilized to generate a binding force through an empathic emotional experience between individuals that are informed and/or get to ‘know the truth’ about the reality of how the world system through functions through specific documentaries and audiovisual materials that end up ‘uniting’ people under the banner of ‘standing up to the system’ with promoting apolitical and mostly illegal and off the grid plans to ‘get away from the system/ boycott the system’ and establish/create ‘free societies’? We have witnessed how by the same principle of The Shock Doctrine, People united by a common feeling about  a common particular subject are easily controllable once they are united with an emotional bond and necessary directions to be pulled out from creating and establishing any real solutions in this world.


  • Activism in the 21st century is being engineered in the same way that the Propaganda techniques developed by Edward Bernays in the 20th century were used to instill new values in the American society that lead to benefit the corporate agenda to be fulfilled and become what we currently live in as a corporate totalitarian capitalistic system.  Pictures, Sounds and Words were used in order to motivate individuals to buy, consume and experience happiness, linking the power of acquisition with a sense of Self Determination, Freedom and Democracy, which made the individuals believe they were living with absolute free will and free choice – The very Revelation Process of these techniques used to control people in the past century are now being used as a way to unite people that are now ‘aware’ of how the system works and are aware of the Mind Control  techniques, the hidden history of our nations, the real ‘powers’ in our society, etc.,  but at the same time this same people are now being unaware of how these movements are created using the very same mechanisms that they are now aware of were used to control people in the past, such as emotional and visual manipulation that is commonly felt by people that in the case of becoming aware of the world system, create a common experience of feeling enraged, angered, frustrated, cheated and betrayed, forming an emotional binding force used to now invert Bernays’ techniques to make people buy, consume and be happy to now use them on  the people that are aware of this mind control itself in order to deviate their obvious experiences as a result of ‘finding out the truth,’ deviating their awareness of the problems in this world  to a non-challenging set of organizations in order to be further contained/maintained in a controlled form of ‘Activism’  and kept ‘at bay’ using the same emotional irrational experiences of the humans and channeling them through a new  ‘Pursuit of happiness’ in a reversed manner which is not through buying and consuming, but in the form of boycotting the system, creating revolutions, protests, off the grid solutions and civil disobedience – all of this generating the same experiences that people in the past century – and unfortunately even till today – are still existing in which is a sense of freedom, self determination and an adulterated version of Democracy as the right to determine our future outside of the system.


  • We could also make a parallel to how with the banner of ‘Freedom’ the exercise of ‘Free Market Capitalism’ was meant to give the individuals absolute free range to do business without having any form of governmental regulation, we all know and are living in the consequences of corporate savage greed that has had no limitations till this day to continue growing their profits and maintaining the wealth in the hands of a few. That is their pursuit of happiness and they are the same individuals that most of the activism is now fighting against, not realizing that the solutions they present stand within the same bounds of what a Free Market Capitalist was advocating: “no intervention of the government, let us do everything our way” – bad idea, to say the least.


  • It became part of our new discoveries that people were in fact being Mind Controlled and lead to consume in order to experience happiness, fulfillment, self determination and freedom.  This was made public by major companies like the BBC and Adam Curtis’ The Century of the Self, where the public got educated on what has been a form of Mind Control in the 20th century in relation to consumerism. However this same new understanding and realizations about the money system, the elites, the corporations, the banking systems, the 99% and any other point that is now considered as ‘exposing the truth’ are being used to generate films, documentaries or visual materials with very well engineered emotional and future projection content in order to provide for a salvation, a remedy  and hope for a ‘way out’ of the prison once that ‘the truth is out’ about the reality we’ve been living in.  These movements became the receptacles of these thousands if not millions of people around the world that have felt cheated, betrayed and used by the government, the authorities, the religious systems and essentially every single aspect of the world system that we all once trusted to be ‘flawed’ but ‘at least working.’ Well, we all know that the real ‘working’ was in fact being provided by our coerced participation in the system to generate the most profits for a minority, while being fed dreams glued to a carrot on a stick.


  • The experience of rage, desolation, depression, anger and disempowerment are generated while watching these very well produced documentaries where the individual is being exposed and witnessing ‘the truth’ being unveiled in front of their eyes, which required a necessary net or ‘channeling’ to ensure that people would not just find out about the secret societies, illuminati, the banking systems, the elites, etc., and plan to take over the government or do massive rioting or anything else that the human race in absolute emotional state could lead themselves to do. This required a solution masked in the best way possible to ensure no one suspects about it being part of the necessary control mechanisms to keep people at bay. This is how we suddenly had an emergence of alternative movements, activist and protest groups that suddenly got a lot of exposure in the internet, the conventional media and even shown in schools and  universities around the world as new instruments for education – for a moment we thought that the world was going to suddenly become a better place now that ‘the truth was out’ but this didn’t precisely go that way.


  • We got to understand and know more about the details of the  fallacy of our money system, the fallacy of the governmental powers, the elites, the bloodlines, the belief systems that we are indoctrinated with in our schooling systems, religions, entertainment, media and the list goes on wherein our entire social construction can be exposed as one huge ‘conspiracy theory’ – yet it is in fact only becoming aware of the basic set-up that has prevailed as the best way to enslave humans with ideals of progress and eventual ‘ideal wealth’ where at the same time,  desires to be liberated/  freed are fed and instilled in people that get emotionally driven to a point of having to Do something about it and not knowing how to direct such impulse.


  • The  role of Activism in all its various forms that we will discuss here are ‘doing a great job’ to further entertain all the individuals that hold an actual potential to contribute and develop actual changes in this world, remaining contained advocating ‘solutions’ without any clear direction and funding to do so – furthermore, if the funding exists, one would have to question the absolute integrity  of every single corporation or private investor and disclose their intentions in the long run when dealing with the consent of large groups of individuals motivated with the desire and intent to create changes for the betterment of our lives. Again, no real change in this world at a system level would in fact be getting any funds from any corporation that is currently standing in the name of protecting the system that they have based and created their own wealth upon.  As a secondary point,  you can investigate who funded art movements in the 20th Century in America after the Great Depression and with what political purposes as well – this means that art and ‘freedom movements’ have only been the necessary agitation to maintain people at bay yet with the belief of ‘doing something’ and ‘changing the world’ without practically getting to set the foundation of any real tangible and practical solutions.


  • The revelations about the ‘real powers’ that govern our world system created a new breed of social movements united once again by an Experience of ‘wanting change’ and being enraged against a system thanks to visually charged movies that create a new sense of collectivity standing up to change the system, which would be great if they had not been funneled down to ‘solutions’ that propose solutions  by ‘all means but Politics.’ It seems rather foolish that if there was any real ability in such movements to create a legitimate change in the system, they would have been already labeled as terrorists and secluded for attempt and/or confabulation of  treason to their country. However this was not the case – Why? Because it is in the best interest of the government to keep people Occupied trying to ‘change the world’ yelling at buildings, projecting futuristic cities, appealing to the more ‘scientifically inclined’ people as a generation that grew up watching star trek, star wars and reading Ray Bradbury alike. Then we have the groups formed appealing to the conspiracy theorists, the 9/11’s, the esoteric agendas, ancient mysteries and illuminati control exposure along with the Wiki leaks and tin-foil hatters.


  • We  have the public protest movements appealing to the guerilla style movements that prefer to blame the corporations, bankers and government officials for the ills in this world. The movements are based on  living in parks in means of protest, flip fingers at the people in financial districts, governmental houses, parliaments or embassies and raging against the machine believing that: ‘united we can create change’ not realizing that they were also being united by a feeling of ‘being right’ to ‘fight for our rights’ but we have forgotten where all our past revolutions have lead to: nothing else but further incorporation of the opposition to engulf the protests and upgrade the system. Even if most ‘public demonstrations’/ protests are meant to be pacific in nature, the end result is always entailing a confrontation with the police and resulting in sever violence. This is where we then can have an escalation to looting, vandalism and further exercises of civil disobedience. These are the ones that demonstrate and create more of that emotional upheaval that is easily mimicked in other cities and countries, which is standing with the belief that demanding en masse creates the necessary pressure to change things. As a personal note, I live in a city where public demonstrations take place every single day, it is clearly not the solution otherwise changes would have already been made, it is not so and it’s been an ongoing problem without any actual solution – why? Because unless we establish change at an economic level, not even yelling at politicians will make a difference to solve the injustices and abuse generated by our current corporate totalitarian capitalistic system.


  • Complementary Read:


In the Next post we will continue with exposing the Activism of the 21st century and who this ties in with Equal Money and the creation of our movement to create solutions that are established at an individual level while promoting the complete reform of the economic and political system to establishing solutions through democratic means.











265. Seeking for the Next Fix: a LIEfstyle

A key aspect that we use as an excuse, reason and justification to ‘evade reality’ is precisely the way in which we have accepted and allowed ourselves to shape reality as, which is through relationships of abuse and mutual neglect. It isn’t pretty and that is why we turn to love, light, spirituality, happiness, fulfillment, enjoyment which is mostly translated to drugs and spirituality or spiritual-entheogen trips that lead to the ultimate high that is quite difficult to let go as an experience, and it is quite fascinating how such Experience becomes a constant ‘thrill’ that is sought by individuals, revolving their entire lives around these moments wherein they can feel ‘more alive’ or ‘more connected to themselves’ and existing in this paradise like realm of their mind in a virtual reality formed through visions that are upgraded to the status of revelations and mythical encounters that one is apparently getting to as a ‘moreness’ of oneself.


So here I want to focus in the mechanisms that lead oneself to seek for this evasion of reality and justifying it with some sense of ‘spirituality,’ which has become another excuse to seek ‘peace and love’  – like in the 60’s – while adding the ‘transcendental’ aspect to make it seem more ‘evolved’ in nature, yet at the level of who we are as the mind, it’s exactly the same thing.


This constant seeking for the ‘good experience’ is precisely explained in the Quantum Systemization interview: Quantum Systemization – Mind Wallpaper System – Part 14 wherein this ‘feel good experiences’ are in essence covering up the actual reality that is existent as our inherent nature that we are constantly seeking to cover up/ sugar up and spice in order to hide from facing ourselves as our mind, our reality, our creation.

While listening to this interview, it became clear to answer the questions as to why we have always had in the back of our heads ‘all I want in life is to be happy’ and how we will do all that we can to justify our happiness thrill, claim that we are hurting/harming no one in order to remain seeking this personal blissful self-experience that in fact is stemming not from a benevolent truthful desire to become a better human being, but to evade reality, to ‘see more’ and eventually end up hooking only within the experience that we perceive as absolutely positive and nice with all the fluffy silky experiences in the mind. Well, what has been unknown so far within our human knowledge at the expense of what we are able to generate such marvelous self-experiences, and that is: at the expense of the human physical body – read the entire series to get more information on this, including:

155. Are we all Cannibals? « and a quote that sums it all up:


“Where I had within and throughout my Life, created who I am in my mind, and connected everything/everyone into and as my who I am in my Mind and so emerged into/as physicality reality through a Mind/as a Mind. Where, the processes of thinking/internal conversations emerged as how I would, within my Mind-Reality and the relationships I had formed within it – evolve it through thinking, and having internal conversations within myself and substantiate the Mind through/with energy/energy-experience as I make my internal alternate mind reality of actual physical reality ‘alive’. And so create an entire ILLUSION of what it means to live/be alive, not seeing, realising and understanding how for the Mind to exist, the Physical Body is sacrificed..” – Sunette Spies – Thought Designs – Part 2: DAY 154

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle


So, before we get to the spirituality realm of justifications to seek for the positive, seek to get a constant experience of this ‘godhood’ through drugs and believe that everything is just fantastic “outside of our bodies” while seeking to connect with a higher force, let’s look at the reality conditions that I have summed up today from a group chat wherein we discussed all the entertainment and forms of distraction that we have used in order to not become politically active, which should in essence be an inherent living condition to our human-nature, meaning: we are social beings, we live in an organism, we Should care about all aspects that define and decide the way that we live and interact within this same ecosystem. Thus it should be already a matter of psychological dysfunction to think and believe that we should only look after our own interests while holding the constant backchat of ‘I don’t care about anyone else but me,’ which is the type of cancerous thinking that we end up wanting to run away from when we avoid realizing how we have created our reality through such constant and continuous thinking processes, which is us participating in the mind to create our reality: big problem.


Drugs are pervasive within all circles/castes in society: wealthy, ‘middle class’ and people living in extreme poverty, all use drugs alike. It should already be a matter of public health crisis to see this problem, why is it that no amount of apparent ‘well being’ can also mitigate the need to get high/ consume drugs. In fact, when having a lot of money, you get power-high and seek for further forms of entertainment that usually incorporate more ‘extreme’ activities as entertainment that usually entail more abuse that elevate the energetic ‘kick’ out of it. This is why people turn to for example, extreme sadist pornography/ snuff films, killing and torturing animals, ritualistic abuses and rites of passage that lead to an apparent ‘welcoming’ to a certain era/phase or place in a human’s life, absolutely gut revolting when considering to what extent we regard suffering as a form to prove oneself being ‘strong enough’ to make it in this world – Evolution, anyone?


Alcohol, drugs, sex, entertainment and its multiple hybrids and variations are always sought. Once again, here we are not looking at ‘why’ drugs are bad or good, but the root-cause of such pervasive desire to ‘escape from reality’ which I gathered from our group conversation:

poverty, lack of resources, wealth, uselessness, evading reality, freedom from the ‘hooks’ of the mind, feeling good, escaping from stress, fitting in, socializing, keeping awake, passing time, disinhibiting purposes, wild sex,  personal reward system, moment of distraction justified by not harming anyone, earning such heavenly moment through hard work, relaxation, getting a break from oneself, turning the tables, opposing the system, spiting society, being progressive, being liberal, being transgressive, open mindedness, spiritual purposes, self-connection, enlightenment, mitigating hunger, avoiding pain, boredom, anxiety, nervousness, hyperactivity, depression, looking for a thrill, wanting to ‘feel alive!’ and the list goes on….


what do all of these processes have in common? The mind. These are Not physical experiences craved by the physical body to exist, they are Mind experiences that we have believed ourselves to be/ become and seek to escape from, quite a conundrum to see how we have built our entire civilization based on this desire to ‘feel good’ wherein physical needs and requirements are neglected and mind-desires and obsessions are fueled and supported as an actual ‘living right,’ as proof of this,  it’s easier to see a TV and drugs in a poor family home than proper sewage and potable water systems, along with decent infrastructure and food – and by drugs I don’t only mean ‘hard drugs,’ but alcohol is part of the generic term that should be applied to alcohol as a social self-indulgent drug that has been made ‘mild’ due to the key factor it represents in the numbing and dumbing down of society –as well as the juicy profit – and believe that everyone is being ‘free to exert their right to drink,’ which is one of the main reasons why people want to get to their 18 or 21 years of age: to be legally able to be self-abusive and… vote, yes of course…


Social responsibility have been thrown out of the window because: monkey see, monkey do and through this, we are all taking ourselves down the plughole to a massive electric shock to ‘feel good’ and define that as enjoyment. Now, we have gotten hooked on self abuse through looking at such self-abuse all around us, because not giving proper support to all living beings is self abusive, not caring enough about life to create immediate solutions to live in dignity is deliberate self abuse and neglect, not giving a damn about all the resources in the Earth that we are consuming to build our ‘civilizations’ is self-abusive.


So we create our ‘windows of escapism’ from the nightmare and hell we all help build and recreate every single day that we define ‘who we are’ as the mind.  – Catch the drift?


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so addicted and hooked on to my own thoughts, feelings and emotions that I have sought to get More of such energetic experiences, regardless of the amount of abuse it entails –

I realize that the outflows we are facing as humanity is our consequence for having followed through with energy and the mind while neglecting physical reality as who I really am and must honor in Equality and I see that everything that I have ever participated in as the mind is the Lie that we have used to consume the Life that we are and embody, and as such have used the same mind to formulate reasons, excuses and justifications to ‘keep our party alive,’ pretending one can genuinely ‘forget’ about something and not have it all come back 10 times fold once the high is gone.


I commit myself to explain and properly share how it is that through one’s own self-addiction to the mind, we have created this current world of vanity and egoism that only seeks to ‘feel good’ and believe that ‘no one is being harmed through it,’ which is quite the ultimate declaration of the cells that compound the cancer as the desire for more, as an ‘overgrowth’ that must be brought to justice by our own hand: we educate ourselves, we support people to wake up and the decision must be made by self as an actual irrevocable decision to never again support the same abusive system that we have become as the externalization of the relationship between the mind and the physical body.


I commit myself to live the realization that it is only through equal and one support that we can stop seeking to ‘escape from reality’ and instead look forward to live and create a real living-environment where getting high becomes a real thing of the past.


We will continue with this in the next post – suggest you review the long list and spot where and how you are trying to escape your reality and what do you use to do so.


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Desteni Lite Process

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Never wait to change, it might be too late:


What is it that we Like so much about our Reality that we will not Move ourselves to Change?

263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle


Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the thoughts of me being inherently flawed and incomplete and unfulfilled is in fact who I really am, and within this, seeking for a remedy and solution outside of myself through drugs, spirituality, money, sex, entertainment, sports, media and everything that I have participated in in order to not have to investigate How I have created such self-experience through my own participation in my own mind.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it difficult to wake up every morning and start a new day, because I have allowed myself to Think as the memory that I have been and become, instead of breathing and being as unconditional as the physical body that I am that does not take a moment to ‘think’ about its existence, but is unconditional in self movement – I realize that I have allowed myself to be tormented by my own self-belief of there being something ‘wrong’ with me and starting thinking that this life is ‘not worth living/ I am not worth living’ and within such thinking processes, I lead myself to seek for a quick fix that will alleviate this inherent self-loathing, self deprecation that leads to self destruction that is sought through anything that can give me a sense of pleasure and enjoyment, even if it is for a moment – thus


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resort to drugs and any other activity that I have turned into a habit as a way to avoid seeing myself as my own mind, which is the actual origin of this instability and dissatisfaction that I experience myself as and that I try to escape from, without realizing that I cannot escape from myself through using drugs or any other means to avoid looking at my self responsibility within creating such self-loathing thinking, and instead I see that I must investigate my own thinking, my own feelings and emotions as the origin and source of this dread that I experience as ‘my life.’


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention, my focus and produce energy to all thoughts linked to a dissatisfaction with life, believing that I can’t go on anymore/ this is just too much/ what’s the point in living? – and within these thoughts allowed myself to go seeking for a way out through drugs, spirituality, sex, consumerism and anything that I have linked to a positive experience in life, without realizing that such habits are only ways to further separate myself from looking at myself as the origin and cause of such instability at a mind level.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to really look within myself how is it that I can change my way of being from one moment to another based on the stimuli that I get from the outside world, and within this, not realizing that if I can change myself in one single moment to experience myself in either a positive or a negative experience, this must mean that these aberrant thoughts of self-deprecation and unfulfillment are equally stoppable and preventable, as I realize that it is only through my own participation that I have given attention to become them, embody such instability through fueling such thoughts as who I am, instead of for a moment breathing and stopping to see What am I actually giving my attention to? What am I actually feeding here? Is this really who I want to direct myself to be thinking as? And within this, assist and support me to stand outside the usual self-deprecation that I have experienced as ‘my life’ and ‘who I am,’ which I understand is able to be stopped, self forgiven and corrected as I realize that who I am as a physical being does not exist as self-destructive thoughts, but it is only me as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that I have given my breaths away to these experiences, without having any idea of how my mind operates in my physical body.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about my experience at a mind level through thoughts, emotions and feelings, instead of using my mind to instead place my attention and focus on the physical reality that I embody as  my physical body, and within this observe the common sense of what unconditional living is: unconditional movement to function properly as a living-system that maintains the actual life that we are as living beings.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of looking back at my own thoughts and understand ‘who I am’ and have become through understanding my thoughts and creating a point of self-correction as my mind/ as my thoughts, I have tried to quiet my mind/ stop thinking through using drugs, sex, alcohol, media, books, entertainment, friends, any and all things and people that I have in fact used and abused in order to ‘get lost’ within myself, without realizing that in this condition, I am not only abusing others but myself as my physical body because I had not seen, realized and understood how it is that the mind can only function through consuming the physical substance of our physical body, which means that every time that we think, become emotional or participate in positive feelings, I am in fact not living but only fueling a system within and as myself as the mind that I have not yet aligned myself to in order to be the directive principle of what I decide to participate in, realizing that the actual expression of myself has never existed and that all that I have been is a mind consciousness system of patterns that I have believed is ‘who I am’ and are immovable, unchangeable – thus


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within these thoughts of giving up my ability to change, I have resorted to mitigate the problem and try and hide from my own mind through using drugs, alcohol, sex, any form of entertainment that instead of it being a self directive decision to entertain myself, experience sex and a genuine self-expression as a physical being in this world, I have made of everything just a drug that I can hook myself to in order to ‘cope with reality,’ instead of realizing how coping with reality is a sign of me not looking at myself as the origin and cause of such problem and distress in the first place.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within this inherent instability as the mind, we have equally created a world that is equally unstable due to us never having had the considering toward Life as who we are – and in this, becoming actual zombies that accept things ‘as they are’ without  a question, seeking for a meaning and purpose in life outside of yourself, instead of actually understanding the responsibility that we hold toward ourselves as our physical body, our mind, every single thought, every single emotion, every single feeling – there is nothing and no one to blame for how this world has turned out to be this way, it is our collective participation and within that,


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ‘state of the world’ as it being ‘fucked up’ and use this excuse to numb myself from myself and separate myself from being self-aware through using drugs, medication, sex, alcohol, entertainment and my own mind of imagination, feelings, emotions that I have believed is in fact who I am – without realizing that in this attempt to ‘escape’ from this ‘fucked up world,’ I am becoming an equal co-creator of ubiquitous negligence that we have participated in within our reality.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a meaning to life through using relationships, drugs, entertainment and my own mind to separate myself from the reality that I have inf act allowed myself to participate in without being aware of what my relationship to everyone and everything in fact is, and how with me wanting to ‘escape from reality’ and take drugs to solve the problem, I am in fact only adding up to the social problem we’re living in, wherein life has never been lived but only abused and as such, I realize that through my self-abuse I never contributed to any living expression thus


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about reality, complain about the system, complain about nothing in this world working outside of myself, but never pondering how it is that I am contributing through my own thoughts and emotions for it to not work work/ function properly, which is the key factor that I realize will enable me to realize one thing: If I am in fact willing to assist and support myself and stand as a sound being that can take my life in my hands and will myself to live, I can in fact do so, I can dedicate my life to get to know me, how I created this flawed self experience and such, take my life on my hands and walk a process of self-correction through Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty, Self Corrective Application wherein I can in fact become a self-responsible being that stops seeking for a remedy, a solution, a way Out of myself, as I see and realize that using drugs or any other means of escaping from myself only aggravates my self-experience and can lead to an inevitable premature death – because death is certain anyways for all beings – however, I would have to ask myself: am I ready to die and have the certainty that I have done everything that is available in my reality to support myself?


I realize that nothing and no one will change me, nothing and no one will provide a solution other than the one that I direct myself to live – and this is how through my own words, through the very same tools I have used to define myself as thoughts, feelings and emotions, I can become a self directive being that understands how it s that I am perfectly able to stop participation in all thoughts that I see are not self supportive, stop participation in all emotions that I realize lead me nowhere but further down the rabbit hole and also stop seeking the opposite positive experience, as I realize that happiness is a mental place that is not sustainable as a living-actuality of who I am as the physical body.


I realize that self-stability is able to be lived as a will and decision to support myself to be and become this physical stability, equal to the one we are breathing in every single moment that we are here on this Earth. It will take time – yes – but the decision is able to be made and lived in every momenta s a constant decision of who I will myself to be.


I realize that  I have spent a lot of time entertaining myself with my thoughts that I got lost within it all and as such, I have to deliberately direct myself to stop any craving for a positive experience or negative experience that I have become so used to in my mind, take my life on my hands, and begin footing myself as breath in every moment, writing myself out to see who I am in one day as my mind , as I realize that every solution I thought was  adequate to myself as my mind has only become more consequential without an actual solution but further dependencies on people, places, drugs, substances in order to get a temporary high, which is unsustainable and will only lead me to self destruction.


I realize that I don’t require to buy, consume or seek for remedies outside of myself, nor do I requite to seek for a meaning or purpose to life outside of myself as an energetic experience, but that I am already here, complete and whole as myself and that any perceived problem is only existent at the level of my own mind that is in fact the nature that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and proven to be consequential and conflictive to myself, it does not support myself as life nor does it support any other living being –


I commit myself to live the realization that it is common sense to assist and support myself to decide to walk a process to support myself to Live and as such, to become a living example of what it is possible to be and become when existing as breathing, living earthlings that start looking outside of our tunnel vision of self deprecation and start considering the life that we have blinded ourselves from through our own participation in the mind, instead of being here as the physical. 


I commit myself to develop self worth, self respect and integrity as a human being that is no longer willing to support any form of self abuse which is stopping participation in all thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have become as our mind, and in fact be willing to give myself another opportunity to live and become the expression of life that I always wanted to be and become, which I realize can only be real if every single being is equally supported to live in dignity and care for one another.


I realize that the physical support I am able to give to myself is existent here as myself, as the physical body that I commit myself to feed properly, to exercise, to breathe and become aware of every breath which is a constant self-directive attention that I commit to give to myself, as I have seen, realized and understood how it is in fact possible to stop the parasitical ego from becoming an unfulfilled leech that I am always feeding through my participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings that I am in fact able to stop.


I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the political and economical system that will ensure that no more beings seek a way out of the world, our minds, our own self-experience because of not having a proper education, living support as food, water, shelter, comfort and a living right to express and enjoy what is here within the basic foundation of supporting ourselves as equals/ in equality, to live, to be self directive and honor ourselves as the life that we have embodied  and never again neglect life as we have done thus far.


“There is One Way Out, which is Death. Or there is Another Way out, which is Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty. One of the Two are your Future.

The One Allows you the Gift of Life, as Part of this Physical World. The Other means: you have to Start All Over again, because you didn’t have Enough Integrity and Willpower to Care about Life, and your Self-Interest Won the Day.
WHO will you Be? Your Imagination? Or Real?
You Decide…for as long as you can. But, the Line is Drawn. And, if you Fail at this – you Will be withdrawn from Earth.” –Bernard Poolman 


Choose Life

Further support:



Can you bleed like me





260. Homeless Drug Addicts Sleeping in Graveyards

260 is the amount of days in the Mayan Calendar Tzolkin and it happens to be the 260th day in this Journey To Life on the last day of this Gregorian calendar year, and the sounding of Tzolkin is like sulking – hence the association of what you’ll read in this blog today. Here’s to 2012 and all the false promises and prophecies that burnt to ashes as they should, so that no more hope is left within humanity, within the ‘wait and see’ attitude, indulging in numbers, planets, calendars and prophecies that only managed to keep everyone immobile for a long time, expecting ‘something’ to happen, adjudicating our global deterioration to some major shift that was about to happen by some divine ordeal, and no that is not a paradox, but that’s what we’ve managed to be and become in this world: making sense of suffering as some time of lesson to be learned to ascend to the heavens and become real benevolent beings after trials and tribulations that we imposed on ourselves.


Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle


Well, we’ve certainly come a long way as humanity in our gullibility to anything that leads to the promised land – whether ascension, extraterrestrials saving the world, the world ending, people suddenly being enlightened with a new consciousness –  this pretty much sums up the ignorance we’ve subsumed ourselves in, may the next year be the actual time to open our eyes, because the astonishing panorama of the end-times is hitting every graveyard near you, and no, it’s not zombies or the dead finally coming alive, but rather homeless drug addicts making a very valid statement: cemeteries are a waste of terrain that could be used for proper housing to those that have clearly nowhere to live/ nowhere to take a shit, no proper activity to do – how come we can expect things to ‘get better’ in our world by simply wishing-well for a ‘happy new year’ if we are neglecting to cover the basic services to dignify the lives of all human beings? I mean, what separates you/me from being such homeless addicted person sleeping in a graveyard? Do we have an extra elite-gene that allows us to have all the ‘good things in the world’? Are they damned? Were we born from godly creatures? Certainly we are all gods and quite irresponsible ones I’d say, since all our creative forces had been directed to satisfy an abusive self interest that has lead us to believe in external forces that could ‘solve the problem’ in our world, instead of realizing that we won’t certainly get to any form of ‘change’ if we are not even aware of what our fellow living earthlings are going through in this reality, an actual torture and physical suffering that is happening all the time, we’ve just decided to entertain ourselves properly to not be aware of it.

Bleak Future? No, rather looking at the consequences we manifested – seeing it through the positive or negative eye is just a matter of perception to either feel deludedly hopeful about something/ someone solving the matters of this world or feeling all down and negative within a depressive mood that leads us to simply justify our apparent inability to take responsibility for what we’ve become. Frankly, I’m tired of being either of as it is only the same irresponsible coin dressed up in victimization or cheerfulness that hides an inherent fear to face the reality that we are manifesting here, every single day. Now that’s the real alarming situation.


Homeless SLEEPING inside graves at Cambridge cemetery after pushing stones off the top of tombs


Homeless drug users were seen pushing the stones off the top of tombs and using them as beds for the night.

Horrified passers-by spotted the disrespectful squatters sitting in the graves in Mill Road Cemetery, Cambridge, while injecting themselves and drinking.

The site has been plagued by drunkenness, littering, drug taking and reports of the homeless people defecating on the plots over recent months.

Read more:


Who would be more disrespectful: a person that is using a graveyard as a sleeping place due to being homeless a.k.a. an absolute ‘ghost’ and ostracized bastard son in society that is not being equally supported to have a dignified living, which would mean, having an actual Home to live in and develop an actual living-expression – OR people that buy pieces of land to bury organic matter in fancy 5-thousand-dollar caskets to preserve meat for the maggots to eventually eat, disregarding the fact that such massive amount of land could be used to build houses for those that have non?


Does anyone stop for a moment to ponder: hmm,  but why do they turn to drugs, why are they homeless? People get high with inhaling cement and paint as well as paint-thinner here in order to mitigate the pains that starvation brings. They can’t even afford to be drunksters. I actually had a chat with a hobo-drunk man in a day like today some 6 years ago. That’s probably the moment when I broke my own taboos toward ‘homeless people’ and never speaking to them – you know, that type of thing your mother tells you to do whenever one would see them sitting on the sidewalks begging for money. Last person I saw this way was in downtown Mexico City, we were all busy going around during the day of the dead, celebrating ‘death’ while allowing our people to starve, quite paradoxical as anything in our reality. He had his skin very tight on the ribs – I walked by and simply breathed – could I solve the man’s problem right there? No.  Is he the result of our accepted and allowed world-system that decides to ‘forget’ / neglect to support all people equally? Yes. That points out how our current ways of referring ourselves to ‘hobos’ and ‘drug addicts’ as the ‘scum of society’ is a blatant nice positive way of abdicating our responsibility toward them. Have we asked them HOW they got themselves to such position? What I’ve found is hobos were people as normal as you and I that decided to give up on themselves due to living in a world system that could not ‘afford’ to support them to continue having a proper living condition, and of course, having a hobo-life means you can get drunk all day and shoot up drugs because there’s ‘nothing left to live for.’ There are other conditions like kids living in the streets that are born in the streets and never get a change to get a better life, simply because: they’ve never known any better.


I bet you have been in the same situation, even if it is not drugs or being absolutely drunk all day, but you do have a ‘something to live for’ as a temporary high that you have regarded and cherished as that little piece of heaven to live for, which is usually a mind experience. Why have we reduced our lives to these temporary flicks? Well, if everything around us as the ways and methods in which ‘the system works’ are based on self abuse – meaning our relationship to ourselves as our physical body, the mind and what we do onto the Earth within this same mechanism – then it is obvious that no ‘exemplar citizens’ can stem from that. Only elitist people can rejoice in calling out ‘improper deeds’ such as being a ‘homeless drug addict that sleeps, shoots up drugs and shits in graveyards’ and missing out completely the fact that it is a Human Being that one is referring to, an equal and one to yourself/myself/ ourselves.

How hard is it to ‘compute’ that? Very, specially when being able to know more about these individuals and realizing that they are human beings just like you and me that simply had no support in one moment of their lives wherein they simply ‘lost it all’ – or never ever had anything in the first place – and with that, they lost themselves, went down the perceived ‘easy way’ such as getting high and drunk in an attempt to avoid facing the stark reality that this world becomes for someone when there is no money left to have a ‘wonderful beautiful life’ as any positive person or anyone with money – including myself- would claim to have.


When I was talking to that hobo, I realized that I was not seeing him as an equal of course, I was in my ‘doing good’ flickering moments of approaching that which I was supposed to stay away from and attempt to make of an actual confrontation of reality just another story to tell  – what did I learn? Nothing, the man was absolutely speaking like a broken record for an hour and then we parted ways, I continued with my life and all the dreams I had, seeking to be something ‘great’ and just keeping this memory as some ‘nice encounter,’ like a charity that one does to keep for a ‘future moment’ wherein I could look back at my life and say: yes! I once had a cool time talking to a hobo downtown and learned to appreciate everything that I  have and the opportunities life has given ME.

Wow, really, wow. This is how we all thing: thanking for the benefits we currently have while ignoring WHY we have simply decided to give ourselves this nice living condition and deliberately denying such equal right to everyone, in Equality – health, love, money – all new year’s wishes must be written in stone for the remainder of our existence to always give to each other the necessary means to live in dignity, no need t wish for that when we can practically agree to provide that for each other.


Back to the graveyard: preserving the corpses in fancy tombstones, for what? For another hundred years? I’ll present you what they end up looking like after some 300 years…




Great trophies for our future children? I would seriously propose no cemeteries to ever be created and placed as part of the planning of a city, it’s a huge waste of terrain that could hold instead a natural reserve where people could build their own earthship houses – how’s that? Too much dreaming? I don’t think so, I mean the entire business of the dead/ dying is quite a useless expense due to the belief that you have to preserve your body for whatever reasons you Be-Lie-ve you must. I mean, would you preserve a fish in your fridge till the end of your lifetime? for what? will you eat it then? does it serve any purpose? My father bought three spaces in a cemetery some years ago, I told him it is a waste of money, I want to be buried in a potato sack underneath a tree, or at least nearby where I can give this body back to where it comes from: the dust of the Earth.

‘One resident said she was shocked when she saw a male sitting on a grave with his trousers down injecting himself in his thigh in full view of everyone.’

The shocking sightings come as latest figures show an increase of 23 per cent in those sleeping rough in the UK for 2010-11.

Gail Marchant-Paisley, a city councillor for the Petersfield area of Cambridge, said problems with anti-social behaviour in the cemetery were long-standing but seemed to be getting worse.”

Welcome to the year 2013 on Earth, where people are still homeless, helpless, hooked on drugs and still having moralists complaining about their eyes being sore of seeing such barbarism while holding a magnificent plastic card in their purse that holds the power to prevent them to end up being such man or woman with no trousers and shooting up drugs to cope with a reality that has decided to forget about Them being human beings well.


We haven’t, we just have to get together to propose a solution and actually stand for what’s best for all, because we all KNOW what’s best for all and as such, it’s time to use our brains to develop a system that will ensure no more corpses are stored in massive areas of land that can be used to give proper living areas to people, where no more people will ever suffer from having no ability to live in dignity, and where drugs will only exist as a remnant of a past where humans had to ‘cope with reality’ to avoid facing the neglect imposed toward one another – this must be the end of the past and it begins with each one of us, we must be the ones that ensure no human being is ever again homeless and without proper living care, because there is more than enough for everyone, we just have to decide to give it to each other in Equality:


Join us to give an end to the endless delusions in this world:


Desteni Forum 

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Equal Money System  – Capitalism made Functional for ALL beings as it always should have been.


R.I.P. 2012, a year of false prophecies and endless stories that only entertained ourselves – time to get our hands on the actual work to be done here.




249. Can’t stop the Cookie from Crumbling


Consequence is all around us. Creating an experience about what we’ve done and become only complicates everything. I noticed myself assessing my reality and ‘the world’ when coming back to ‘my origins’ and I realized to what extent I have lived in a bubble, no matter where you are, as long as you have money you are protected and separated from Reality. Everywhere it is like a scenario put up to attract money and become a winner, everywhere we all know we lie to each other to get to such positions and such lies and competition are some of the basic components that reveal what we have become.

I discussed many things about our current society and reality, but it all just ends in a hoping-experience stemming from others, that somehow a thing or two will ‘ring a bell’ to make a change, which would still exist as a self-limitation, because every one that is willing to be part of the change, will initiate it themselves.

Continuing from:

The real problems we have neglected in the name of entertaining ourselves so gossip about, it is our responsibility as every word that we speak without awareness of the consequence only adds up to the already existent pile of ‘meaningless lives’ that we have lived, and it’s not to bring anything or anyone down, but it’s plain to see that if the if the Human Race was to be wiped out of the face of the Earth, a small amount of beings would truly be missed, and that says much about who we are and what we have become.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever stop desiring to keep going and be alive, without having ever really lived and never having given myself the opportunity to test out what it is to Live the Words I speak and as such, become the principle and directive force as myself, as an individual that recognizes one’s own ability to stand up and live.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever seek for ‘an end’ to myself or humanity as a whole, not realizing that in such situation there would be no self-realization of why we became the very reverse of life incarnated and as such, miss out the entire point of living this life of consequence.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how easy it is to get ‘lost’ in the bright and warm colors in reality as all the comfort and security that money is able to provide, wherein one is able to be the one that spares some ‘change’ to a kid selling chewing gum during traffic lights, most likely sent by parents that know a kid triggers more compassion than adults will ever do. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become ‘used to’ this and forget the very initial shock I got from witnessing this reality, which is clearly a blatant demonstration of how we have made things just normal and go without a care about anything/ anyone else but ourselves.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to never really look at all the ‘items’ I possess and disregard its origin and source and as I went reading the tags, realize that having more than enough of what we really use is accumulation, is capitalism, is what we were taught to believe in, and that I pay for the slave labor that creates my clothes and shoes alike. And within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that every single thing that I have paid for and that I have used, contains a form of abuse, of blood and death and this is no exaggeration, since we just have to investigate the lives of the millions working in factories and sweatshops, producing the most clothes in an astounding record of time– and we are so clever to buy that to an irrational price – as all prices are – wrap it up with nice paper  and gift it as a demon-stration of love and appreciation – thus


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how easy it is to justify the abuse of what creates our ‘ownerships’ just because of having paid for it, which makes us all equally responsible for any unfair labor that has been used as the production of our ‘goods’ and services that we simply take for granted, unaware of the lives of those in the positions of extracting, manufacturing, producing and distributing these goods and services, that are the actual ones that do all the labor but instead, we buy brands, we buy names, we buy prices and as such, enslave each other to become the very fuel to a system of abuse, by simply neglecting how everything that we buy and consume was created.


I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to neglect our living-beingness as human beings wherein we just accepted ourselves to seek for a reason and purpose to live and in this, diverting our attention to anything and everyone else but life in itself as who we are, and this is a grave mistake that we have all co-created, and we have to all face with, as that is currently our equality: having to go through equal consequence so that we learn from first hand what we have done and not done onto ourselves.


I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist in such a self interest toward myself and the world wherein I continually looked for ‘myself’ outside of myself and believing life was about a meaning – and in this, become oblivious to everything and everyone that was working in a continuous manner in order to sustain the world-system we are living in now, wherein only a few humans are able to have the amount of time to ‘ponder’ about reality while missing out the real-problems and real-physical struggle on Earth.


When and as I see myself hitting the ‘low’ and ‘depressed’ state about how humanity exists at the moment – I stop and I breathe as many times as necessary to ensure I am back HERE on Earth and not going into an experience about the world – and realize one thing: me being/ becoming depressed about the current state of humanity and life on Earth makes no difference or stands as No Solution to what I see and realize must be done and live d in this reality – thus in essence, emotions and feelings are but a distraction to what is Really going on here as physical processes and equations that are being blatantly disregarded.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice letting another know about the actuality of the problems in this world as a means to open up their eyes, without realizing that there is no need to convince another from realizing/ doing something that will support each other as equals – self realization implies sharing without wanting others to do the same, but living as the example of what it is to genuinely care and that’s where real responsibility resides in.


I commit myself to bring myself back here to Earth as I share myself and anything that I’ve become ware of that is leading to any of the current consequences in our Reality and instead share how the basic point is to stop participating in any diversion from self-application if one is absolutely decided to face the consequences and be willing to get back to honor ourselves and each other through facing the consequence.


I commit myself to stop making an experience of consequence and also when and as I communicate about it, as I realize there is quite a journey to walk here as consequence in order to become aware of what we’ve become in its totality and that wanting to prevent this from happening or altering anyone’s awareness about it in an incisive manner can only lead to further creation of consequence. Thus I stand as a stable and equanimous person that continues to realize the extent in which we have neglected ourselves, all life that we have used and abused to construct our ‘ideal lifestyles,’ growing consequence without an awareness of how everything we thought we could just escape from ever having to face again is always here as manifested consequence, as our result of any parasitical relationship of abuse.


There are things we cannot just assume are not ‘here’ any longer, and as such, I follow through with the  path we all must walk to realize ourselves and our responsibility to every single word and action we decide in every moment that we are here and also show how money becomes a comfortable veil to not face what others as ourselves are facing every single day, which cannot go ‘unnoticed’ any longer.

This is not evil, this is not bad, this is being real and self-honest: there is no way out of this that won’t involve having to give up the self that can continue avoiding facing consequence and responsibility for what we’ve become. Thus, I take a breath and continue walking as there is certainly nothing else to do and live in this world but the solution to all that which we have tried many times to escape from.


We might not be able to stop what has been set in motion in unawareness and gone to a full extent of consequence to depletion, death and permanent damage on Earth, but we can begin living lives wherein we realize that prevention is the best cure, and as such seeing how there is a lot we have missed in our reality due to having honored the mind and not the physical, and that the time has come to face what we’ve abused in the name of self interest.


To be continued







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