Category Archives: antisocial

600. Understanding Arrogance

Or how to let go of the idea I had about myself as ‘untouchable’ based on knowledge and information in order to truly live and express ME.

So this is a word that was opened up in group discussions and in a couple of situations I’ve faced in my life in the last couple of days, so, I’m now here to share about my relationship to this word.

First things first, how do I relate to this word? I have ‘been it, done it’ in my life where arrogance comes as this ‘know it all’ stance where I’ve seen how it was in fact fear that stood behind this ‘untouchable’ type of experience I created mostly through ‘what I believe, what I stand for’ and in creating an energetic stance to it as ‘unbreakable, untouchable, this is the one and only truth of existence!’ type of personality, I became very antagonistic – without even noticing it! – to anything that did not ‘conform’ to my views, or anything that wasn’t aligned to them, which means yeah I could have possibly picked up intellectual back and forths with just about anyone really, considering how such arrogance came through perceiving that ‘I got a superior understanding of reality, of who we are in our minds and in existence’ and the rest of points that come from getting to know a lot of knowledge and information about, yes, the reality that we live in and how we exist as human beings.

I’ve shared about this ‘arrogance’ construct with other terms in these blogs before like being in a ‘haughty position’ or being ‘in a high horse’ type of experience, which is the same thing: being arrogant and kind of looking everyone as ‘inferior to me’ because of not being aware of what I was aware of. In doing so, I really limited myself because I made it virtually impossible for me to discuss anything with anyone, because I was not willing to hear/read any other perspectives, I wasn’t being flexible at all – I just wanted to preach my creed so to speak and ‘convert’ anyone that I could – or rather that would allow themselves to be converted – which of course it never happened.

It was only through realizing that this way of approaching my process was not going to work in the long run that I had to try new things and that meant having to let go of my desire to ‘preach and convert’ others through knowledge and information and disseminating ‘my truth’ through blogs and vlogs with the sole intent to ‘wake others up!’ and ‘have them join me and everyone in this process.’ Of course that doesn’t work, but hey, I was there doing it fully and completely in such a militant stance that I was too blind to see my own absolutism and fascism in it – very common words for me to describe such personality as well in these blogs.

So, where I am and how I am in this context is definitely a long distance from what I just described. Currently I no longer feel the need to ‘wake others up’ or ‘change others’ because! I’ve learned through ‘the tough way’ how that obviously doesn’t work and going through consequences that I’m still having to literally pay for till today, lol. So instead, I focus on sharing my own experience, my own ‘walking’ with these tools, the learning curves, the falls, the standing ups, the mistakes and how to correct them and all that is related to taking all points ‘back to self’ essentially, because that’s basically where I realized I have my authority on at this stage, and so share my example as ‘what I’ve lived, applied’ in detail, and yep sharing it because maybe others will find this useful for their lives and that’s cool.

In terms of facing consequence, I’d say it’s at times unfortunately needed and it’s cool, because I can become so obsessed and be such a stubborn with things that sometimes it is only through reality knocking my door that I can open up my eyes and realize ‘oh fuck! I’ve done it again!’ and realize what I had been obsessed by – that’s the process of what I define now as having to eat humble pie and yep! Been eating it nicely.

Then comes the dimension where I’ve spotted arrogance in others. I saw this during a meeting with someone and I defined the person’s stance as being arrogant – being the kind of person that believes that everything they do is right, they are never wrong, that they are always transparent about things, that there’s nothing that is incongruent with who they are, and in that being able to rather blame others for being the problem in their relationship to him. And in that what he’s created and caused is that there’s a lot of people that simply cannot get along with him because there’s rarely an opening to question himself, his ways, his stance, but in essence being kind of absolutist because of not allowing anyone to question his ways, what he does, his preferences, at all. The outcome in such kind of personality is that if one would want to be his friend, one has to entirely accept him ‘as he is’ and that’s probably a doable thing for many that are ok with such ways, but I personally cannot relate to someone that is not willing to ‘open up’ and ‘question further’ about ourselves as human beings and have no opening to even considering any form of ‘change’ or self-betterment, so in that I simply realize ‘I don’t have to go there’ with this person and keep things as simple as possible in our interactions whenever they are necessary – if ever. This is just a self-honesty point for me to also make a decision to not try an ‘get along’ with someone ‘just because’ but I definitely like to get along with people with whom I can actually have discussions that lead us to learn more about ourselves and question/challenge ourselves, which becomes a bit too impossible with such hardened personalities.  I decided to rather focus on sharing myself and spending time with those that do have more of an opening and similar stance to life.

However, after I noticed that I was describing him in my head as ‘arrogant’ I had to of course look back at myself and see how I have existed as such arrogance as well and how I in fact created the same outcome for me where there was a time where I became very obnoxious, to be honest, I could only relate to people ‘walking process’ and I’d judge everyone else as a neophyte in life – a fancy way to say ‘ignorant’ – and in that I definitely walked through the consequence of isolating myself, because of not being willing to let go of my ‘immovable stance’ as arrogance which stood as constantly judging, constantly comparing everything and everyone to ‘how I believe things should be and how they must be done’ which I’d do constantly, consistently towards anything and anyone, all the time.

I mean, in a way it assisted me to constantly be referencing or questioning ‘what would be common sense in this case or with this person or in that person’s life/situation?’ however the problem is that I would externalize this as in telling people what to do or how they were wrong about this/that in their lives and sometimes being so direct that of course I would not take their feelings/minds into account and yep, I’d end up blowing things out of proportion and causing conflicts, which led me to quite a few ‘breakups’ with people – all because of this arrogant stance within me.

Currently I’m deliberately opening up ways of communication with people where I now practice leaving my ‘preaching’ in the past and instead learn to relate to people, learn to get to know them in who they are, in their context, in their particular life – which is absolutely cool and a very enjoyable process, which has led me to kind of ponder ‘Hmm why wasn’t I doing this before?’ but the reality is that I wasn’t able to do it, because I was too fixed on this absolutist and arrogant stance ‘towards the world/people in it’ where I definitely would have remained in this bitter stance of ‘non-conformity’ which I eventually realized I had entirely caused by my own set of impositions by not allowing myself to actually live and learn from others, but rather wanting to have this ‘teaching and preaching’ stance towards them, which didn’t work at all and only backfired nicely.

In that I instead have used these key words to live whenever I see myself having this arrogant stance coming up again: humbleness, understanding and flexibility. These words in a way stand as the antithesis of my previous ways which were of control, of imposition, of antagonism, of fascism and totalitarianism as the dictator I had become for anyone that would know me.

And yes, I can also explain how this is not a ‘magical solution’ either – the words are there as a continuous reference for me, as the available solutions – but this point may come up at any given moment where I feel this ‘need to correct someone’ or ‘let them know about the ultimate truth in life’ or ‘explain how that’s such an irrelevant subject to discuss about’ or whatever else in whichever way it might come up where I wasn’t really willing to interact and ‘mingle’ with people in whichever context or ‘level’ they’re at in their awareness, but I wanted to come in as this very stiff and self-controlled robot that wanted to only point out what’s right, wrong and immediately disregard participating in anything that I deemed was ‘of the mind’ lolol… yep I was on my way to then become a bitter hermit to be honest, but I’m so glad I have realized what I was doing and have come to stir my direction towards the person that I in fact have seen I have the ability to live and express, which is an open, expressive, communicative and social person in fact! Who would have known!? When I was deeming myself as a hard-core anti-social and misanthrope – as I’ve explained many times before*

So, a practical ‘hack’ that anyone can apply here is to see whenever one is needing to ‘defend’ something or make oneself feel ‘superior’ about anything, or when one is constantly judging others as less than/inferior – we gotta ask ourselves: what are we in fact ‘In-Fear-of?’ because arrogance is an expression of fear, of an actual inferiority that needs to exist as a perceived superiority in order to be ‘ok’ within a ‘better idea of self’. So asking oneself ‘what do I fear behind my need to feel so ‘secure’ of myself in this stance of arrogance?’ van be a practical way to get to the core of it.

Like in my case, the fear behind my ‘stance’ as what I described above related to knowledge and information, was to actually have people question me, debate my views or deny them completely, which would then stir conflict that I actually didn’t want to face, or because I feared losing this idea of myself as the ‘know it all’ in my own eyes. But, I’m quite glad that I was able to debunk it little by little and yes, with people’s feedback in the internet and of my own mother who has been the one that over the years really emphasized that I should ‘lower the volume’ of my speeches in videos because I would come through as ‘preachy’ and ‘attacking,’ as being too superb and pedantic, which would mostly scare people away – and yep, it did, and for some others it might have worked… but it definitely is not an expression I want to continue cultivating related to who I currently am in my life.

I’ve found new ways to share myself where I have no intent implied ‘towards others’ other than plainly sharing myself, and that’s what I’ve been doing lately and it’s like allowing a breeze of fresh air flow through me, rather than being the very stiffened, armored, robo-like person that had to always ‘present’ herself in a certain way and be ‘untouchable’ in an arrogant stance, man, was that limiting.

So for now, I continually have to bake myself some humble pie which I like doing, because every time I am made aware of this kind of situations or where I catch myself doing it, I can ground myself even more. In a way this means I can ‘let go’ of an idea of myself in relation to ‘who I have to be’ or ‘who I am’ in relation to others, and that’s truly liberating, it enables me to truly expand, share, learn and enjoy others in a way I had not done ever before in my life and for that I’m grateful for Desteni and the tools that have enabled me to be living who I currently am – so! The least I can do is share myself back here J

Thanks for reading.

*some other blogs that explain in detail the points walked in relation to arrogance are:

514. Debunking My Intellectual Arrogance

581. Living Reconciliation

561. From Provocation to Self-Challenge

547. How to Live Humbleness

27. It’s always only been me

 

 

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561. From Provocation to Self-Challenge

Or how to stop putting up a fight against the world and instead challenge oneself to grow in living terms

Something I tend to do quite often is watch interviews with people mostly in the field of music and arts in general, and yesterday while I was watching one about a movement in music that I had tried to ‘understand’ many times in the past in terms of placing into context its expression, without having done proper research on its background and ‘reason to be.’ And this is something I bring up again – because I am sure I have written about it before – in relation to what was coined as ‘black metal’ and in particular two individuals that were pillars to that ‘scene’ which might be too radical in many terms and I frankly don’t particularly like the music nor agree with everything they say, but I do appreciate in a way how at the time such movement and expression was a way to provoke, to ‘make noise’ literally, shouting and screaming in an attempt to wake people up or attempt to say ‘there is something really wrong going on in our lives’ and turning that into a particular sound, lyrics, and music that became a formula to replicate by many, and it was also a ‘movement’ that wasn’t paid by the same ‘system’ to create rascals or ‘punks’ – misfits and outsiders of the system’. Instead it was born in one of the countries with the ‘highest standards of living’ which is actually also socialist in nature – having several ‘holes’ when it comes to restricting people’s choices and decisions, leading to this ‘perfected’ living experience where in a way, self-responsibility is also left at the hands of ‘the system’ which these artists were intending to explain was something to very much question about such ‘controlled prosperity’ – which is a whole topic in itself that I won’t go to here today.

But, that’s the context of why this ‘outrageous expression’ came up in a form of musical tantrum so to speak lol and how I have been ‘drawn’ to controversial and ‘eccentric’ people because of having the guts to stand in temporary positions to question, challenge, dramatize or expose the reality that may become very ‘normal’ in our eyes and in that, yes arts and other expressions become a way to reflect back to ourselves what are we in fact taking for granted or no longer questioning or realizing about ourselves.

What I noticed is that I have tended to gravitate towards such personalities that seem to be rather provocative in nature and yesterday as I was reviewing one of those interviews again after a couple of years, I saw how the word ‘provocation’ came up and I could relate it to myself, which is an aspect that I’ve had within me my entire life and I mean, this has been there since I was a little child which started as a form of attention seeking through doing some ‘out of the norm’ things and later on it became a way to ‘stand out from the crowds’ and consider myself as ‘special’ while being a teenager; and later on standing as a point of provocation in a more intellectual manner in my early adulthood and throughout starting this process with Desteni as well, where I started ‘speaking up to’ whatever I could find I had a thing or two to criticize about, to spew some ‘facts’ about while at the same time attempting to direct it towards a solution, which might or might not have been the best way to approach it but, as everyone else, this was part of my ‘awakening’ process so to speak and early on reactions to what I was realizing about myself and the world we live have co-created.

Now my usual current reaction to that aspect of myself was of embarrassment because of having judged myself for how antagonistic, critical and sometimes plane arrogant I was when addressing a particular subject and without intending to necessarily ‘blame’ others, the attitude and approach was still coming through within starting point of judgment, of denial of ‘that’ which I was speaking of as a part of myself as well. In essence humbleness was lacking and my role at the time became that of ‘pushing buttons’ to see who I could provoke and get to ‘think and question more,’ which I now understand is simply a part or phase of my life/process wherein I used this ‘tool’ of provocation to stir reactions and within that, attempt to direct towards solutions, but definitely focused so much more in explaining the problem that little was left to actually share how to get to the solution, at an individual level.

That’s how upon hearing again about this initial attempt of people currently labeled as ‘black metal’ that intrigued me for quite some years, I realized that it was also their attempt as teenagers to say something, to ‘wake people up’ with certain lyrics and sounds, but there was no actual discourse being given in a clear manner where people could in fact ‘get’ what it was all about. And it is only through the words of the people involved in that movement now that they’ve grown older that one can understand better what the whole drama was about back in the early nineties.

I could see myself reflected in these individuals’ points of view and ways of ‘speaking their mind’ because I was also very keen on doing that and perceiving that I wasn’t affecting anyone by doing it, until I got to understand a ‘little’ key aspect related to our oneness and equality, who we are as being in fact life and ‘made of the same’ which renders every form of judgment in an attempt to ‘separate’ oneself from that which we judge utterly futile, considering that we can only really ever speak about ourselves no matter how much there is an attempt to ‘expose’ or ‘blame’ or ‘criticize’ others, it’s always us doing it to ourselves anyways.  

And that’s a life-changing realization that led me to currently understand how this provocation that I was attempting to do was a phase, a part of my life – very much like these teenagers that put on make up on their faces and dressed in black clothes in an attempt to disturb and provoke or stand out from the crowds, while forgetting to send a clear message as to ‘what’ they were really wanting o create a statement about – which tends to happen in our lives where I’ve seen in my case how many times I was ‘angry’ at the world and I didn’t even know or investigate within me what ‘exactly’ about it was bothering me. I was apparently just ‘fed up’ about everything, not ever realizing I was fed up and angry at myself because of knowing that there was something to change within me, something to ‘break free from’ and realign to a better version of myself, but I had no way to do it, didn’t even know where to start either, so that’s how many can end up stuck in emotional tantrums ‘against the world’.

That’s how upon getting to Desteni I was able to finally come to understand more about this ‘constant experience’ that I had projected onto the world out there, which was in fact knowing that there could be so much more to life, to my life, to myself than being this angry and despondent individual that would end up bitterly wallowing into depression – yep that was one of the possible outcomes if I had not made the decision to walk this self-awareness and self-change process.

I have to even say that I wasn’t even aware that I was ‘angry’ at all, because it had become me and the very way I look at reality itself, we don’t even realize how anger is also about ourselves knowing that we can in fact do better, become a better individual yet we keep doing the exact same opposite of changing for the better day by day. Instead the seemingly ‘easy’ way out is to do the opposite to that, and it only backfires for the most part, layering up all of the emotional experiences and irresponsibility every moment we don’t stand up from it. So I’ve been walking this process to see what was I in fact uncomfortable and angry about in relation to me, my life, what I was initially not readily willing to admit I had done onto myself and onto life as this world – not only individually but collectively as humanity.

If I had only stayed in that stage or phase of becoming ‘too aware’ of how things work, getting to understand the intricacies of this massive ‘system’ and remained within the idea that ‘I am not part of it, it’s a bunch of other people that created it,’ I would have ended up being mostly a bitter person that would be constantly angry about anything going wrong in this world and possibly would have escalated into a chronic depression and meaningless life… sad but true if I had not been able to become aware of who I really am as this whole creation, where there’s really no separation between ‘you’ and ‘me,’ and that’s the most humbling realization and process of assimilation that led me to ‘take off my shield’ and start peeling off the hard veneer I had grown as forms of intellect, arrogance, righteousness and yes ultimately provocation ‘against others,’ towards developing a much more understanding and eventually humble and gentle approach to who I am as an individual – and so towards others, which yes I’m still very much practicing – that are an equal and one (part) of this whole self that is ourselves.

I remember while going through art school seeing many works and expressions that were intended to do just that, ‘provoke’ yet my constant conclusion on all of it was that I would appreciate a more direct meaning and explanation to what they were in fact trying to do, but most of the times the reality is that we –  because I’ve been there myself – were no different to the black metal people that were trying to cause a stir and disturb in one way or another to potentially ignite a ‘wakeup call’ about what we see is something that is utterly ‘out of place’ or ‘plain wrong’ about our reality, but little do we also investigate within ourselves to see who we are as part of that which we are becoming aware of is not supportive, plain ‘backwards’ or simply outrageous to see it as part of our reality – meaning taking the time to investigate its creation and existence within ourselves first, understanding it and not ‘reacting’ to it but rather coming up with a solution one can live to ‘fix’ that part of self instead..

And that’s what I am grateful I have been able to do and continue doing for myself, to ‘decode’ many times what I wanted to express in a more ‘silent’ manner through certain attitudes ‘against the world’ that I believed could lead me to someone at any point asking me ‘what is it that I was seeing as ‘utterly wrong’ in my reality?’ which never happened by the way, no matter how much pain, sorrow, depression, anger or frustration one can experience about ‘our world, our creation’ it usually leads nowhere but only into a form of personal decay if we don’t stand up from it and instead learn to Act about it.

That’s what one of the guys from this movement has been able to do in his own particular way and set of principles, which is cool that people can give a generally ‘constructive outcome’ to what initially emerged as rage, anger, frustration and plain intellectual antagonism against a society or ‘world system’ or ‘life’ in general. It’s always cool to see artists that can give steps further even beyond only the music, beyond the ‘creations’ that we get to know of them and instead also use their art and creations as bridges to get to know about the person, their lives, principles, what they stand for – which I’ve found becomes a richer process which leads to a more clear, direct and less speculative message when getting to hear the words and see the lives of these people – or at least how they show it.

And this is also another point I wanted to remind myself about which I had also found frustrating when trying to communicate only through an image, where I had not linked it to words, and sometimes where I had not even actually gotten to understand myself and what I really wanted to say and express in relation to a point of creation. Whereas now, I am definitely interested in being able to express the process behind any point of expression and how it relates to a personal reflection, because this is precisely how art becomes meaningful if and when we decide to make of our lives something meaningful as well, and this is then not only limited to creating a piece of art in itself, it extends to any point or aspect of self-creation ultimately as the creators that we all are, and that’s how ‘speculation’ can be somewhat prevented when we are direct and upfront on what we stand for, what we express, the principles behind it, the part of ourselves that is invested on creating anything in our lives and with that, being able to stand in the world as a self-created piece of art really, not one that is only following the pre-established lines of our particular contexts and coincidences that led us to ‘be here,’ but where we truly take the wheel of our lives into the direction that we decide to give to ourselves.

Now that’s the kind of people that I also get inspired by, even if I don’t fully ‘agree’ with them and their views, ways of living or thinking – but the sheer act of having that independence, that drive, self-respect and commitment to stay ‘true to themselves’ is something cool about us as human beings, even more so if it is geared to living in a common sensical, supportive, self-responsible and self-aware manner, which is what I want to continue being able to express and share in whichever means and ways I can in and as my life.

So! Where do I stand in relation to provocation today? It is a word that I can redefine, removing the extra energy-buzz that I’d get from ‘provoking’ others through words or looks or actions in an attempt to ‘wake others up’ – which is then mostly using a ‘shock’ factor to attempt to make others ‘do something’ about it without even explaining ‘what’ exactly. Instead I take the word provocation entirely back to myself, where there is no longer that need or attempt to ‘make others react’ or ‘make others think,’ but simply express myself, my life, my creations as a statement in itself, a ‘this is who I am and how I live’ without having ‘others’ in my mind as the starting point to my self-challenge, lol because it is about myself anyways.

This is how I walk through the provocation intended to stimulate others in a reactive manner and instead simply continue provoking myself, which in its root meaning implies ‘challenging’ myself within the context of stepping out of my self-defined limits, out of the ‘religion of self’ and into an expansion, a growth which I’ll also be now doing in terms of letting my hair grow back after 7 years of what I can consider a very relevant phase of deconstruction, understanding, ‘death of self’ and rebirth that I’ve been going through as of late, which is a phase I also want to link this phase of having shaved my head as a statement that I now see of course remains within me beyond looks, where it is now me transitioning into a new phase where I want to deliberately mark the self-creation and self-expansion phase.

Sure enough, being bald was another way of provoking myself, challenging myself for quite a prolonged time I’d say and it worked well considering how many ‘issues’ about self-image would come up every time that anyone would kind of cringe about it, which I’ve also then realized is seldom something that leads to an actual in depth point of understanding as to ‘why’ I did it, which also proves back to myself that yes, I did it for myself and the test is sufficiently done. Now it’s going in the reverse way, challenging myself to grow it back which I had frankly now resisted to do, partly because I’ll lose some benefits like getting better seats in airplanes or free ice lollies… I am sorry about that confusion; it was always just me shaving my hair daily.

 I realized I have to reinvent myself, which is no different to re-create or create myself in a different way and continue stepping out of comfort zones, because that’s what leads to expansion, embracing, getting to connect more with others, getting out of ‘fixed ways’ which to me is definitely something I want to continue challenging in various ways.

Ok! Who knew that one single word could open up so many things to me? Yep! Taken back to self, keeping challenging myself instead of ‘putting up a fight’ against the world lol.

Thanks for reading.

 

Balancing act

 

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423. Proof that I’ve been Mind Controlled

 

Following through a bit with this ‘happiness’ redefinition, I would not have been able to be comfortable in opening up this word to redefine if I hadn’t looked at a key aspect that I’ve been noticing for quite some time in walking this process of removing/stopping past self-definitions.

This became clearer when I shared in a podcast I called Doing Good = Uncool? about how currently there is a tendency to deem everything that is rebellious and antagonistic as ‘cool’ and everything that is supportive, disciplined and orderly as ‘uncool’ – and the way I found out that this mostly was a personal perception is when I attempted to find pictures on Google images that would depict this type of construct or judgments upon what I had seen as ‘cool’ and ‘uncool,’ there were no pictures for me to depict that! So that made it obvious that I had to rather look at it from a very personal manner instead and ended up creating my own ‘picture’ to depict the kind of perception I had held within me.

 

Cool vs uncool

 

My previous attempt in life was to become what I defined and believed to be a ‘cool’ person, so just because I had gotten so much bashing/criticism from my peers while growing up for always being ‘the straight A’ person in school and so being defined as nerdy for that and ‘tight’ or ‘uncool,’ I focused on finding ways to shake those definitions off by being very specific in the type of ‘person/personality’ I would become. This is how I decided to pick and integrate aspects that I could deem were going ‘against the grain,’ so to speak, against the expectations that I perceived everyone had around me. This influenced everything of me, the way I would dress/look, act, speak, the topics I would bring up, the kind of books I read, the kind of music I’d listen to, the way I would relate to people, to my family etc.  And TV was a great source of ‘inspiration’/dormant brainwashing for that, as I have shared here previously that I mostly grew up watching MTV and so there I shaped all my preferences toward everything and everyone that seemed to ‘challenge’ the status quo, to go against the flow and step out of the ‘schemes’ in one way or another, or be intimidating toward others, as a way to ‘challenge the establishment’ or being in a constant ‘defense mode,’ which is a ‘trendy’ way to actually hide the fear that instigates these ‘hardass’ personalities.

Little did I know that this was part of a greater scheme of social engineering to have kids grow up aspiring to be ‘rockstars’ or ‘artists’ and had nothing to do or no sense of responsibility to this world, but instead define all things ‘rebellious’ and ‘antagonistic to the system’ as being super cool.

So, this is how I then became what I could define as a disciplined rebel, because it’s not like I started slacking at school, I actually proved that I could still ‘pull out a straight A’ without even studying at times, just by being very attentive in class and so using my ‘wits’ to challenge professors and classmates alike – lol, I was really in for being like a typical dissident in many ways and deem that as cool, even if for others it wasn’t, to ‘me’ that was the definition of ‘being an outcast’ and enjoying myself within that because of seeing myself as ‘special,’ as having ‘no trend’ without realizing it was a trend and it was becoming more and more common in order to get people reacting, being angry and antagonistic against everything and everyone, just to remain in perpetual conflict and never looking at solutions.

Of course nowadays doing this type of ‘dissidence’ has become like the norm and it’s no longer as ‘shocking’ as it was some 10 years ago, which is how I’ve seen a fascinating shift in the perception of ‘values’ and the role that the media/TV has had on twisting people’s ideas of ‘what they want to do with their lives’ and what they find as ‘cool’ or ‘uncool’ by imposing a ‘new’ morality that claims openness, sexual liberation and ‘independence’ but it’s all just a false idea of empowerment through antagonism – been there, done that, doesn’t work!

So this is why I then saw that everything I deemed as ‘uncool’ was in fact that which was in fact supportive: to be self-responsible, to be disciplined, to be non-antagonistic, to have a ‘clean’ presentation of oneself, to not be destructive, to not bash or blame others, etc. This included a very key aspect that had prevented me from realizing I could live the word ‘happiness’ in fact, because I had associated happiness with people being fully blind and not seeing reality, I deemed it as a dirty word that could only be used to define an ever elusive utopia that we were too far away from or impossible of ever creating even. I deemed that anyone that could call themselves ‘happy’ were absolutely disingenuous and blinded from reality. So it is in this judgment that I then prevented me from even considering looking at this word ‘happiness’ for myself, meaning investigating ‘who I was’ toward this world, how I could live it in a self-honest manner; I was in a way still holding on to the ‘image’ or ‘idea’ of myself as still ‘challenging the system’ and being cool in that, but in no way wanting to get to what I had defined as ‘being a positive thinker’ of sorts by talking about things like ‘being happy,’ or creating a ‘happy future for everyone’ lol.

 

 

 

All of these are just judgments and perceptions wherein I was in fact denying to myself being able to expand my living into seeing the word happiness and not link it to some nerdy-good-doer type of personality as my own mind construct, as my own past definitions that came through ‘judgments’ that I refused to be or become at others’ eyes. In fact now that I can speak about it and define me in the process of creating happiness within myself and my world, I no longer see something pulling out inside me as a ‘NOOO what the hell are you talking about!!?’ type of reluctant backchat that would come within me whenever anyone talked about ‘being happy’ or aiming at being happy in this world. A part of me really, really rejoiced experiencing and living in misery, gloom and doom which is a whole construct that I’ve been debunking throughout the years in this process, and along with that discovering what I was preventing me from acknowledging as part of my living potential, just because I had defined it as ‘uncool’ lol, and going ‘against my personality.’

What are personalities really but locks and cells wherein we believe we would ‘get out of character’ if we challenge such self-definitions and preferences and dare to think outside of our box – it’s really all a mind job wherein we hold on to ‘past definitions’ of who we are and in that we lock ourselves in one way or another from being able to fully embrace our living potential, which is not at all about being a ‘good person’ now instead of an ‘evil one,’ not at all –  it’s about recognizing words for the expression they are and can be when lived in self-honesty, and no longer about words that hold relationships to pictures, ideas, personalities or preferences as they exist in the world system.

 

In this, I realize that if we are to genuinely become the living word, we have to expunge ourselves from any limitation, any self-delimitation/definition that keeps us locked into a phoney idea of ‘who we are,’ which becomes a constricted character that is still defined by attitudes, behaviors, preferences, personality traits and so forth which are all part of the egos we believe we are. So it’s always a matter of asking oneself: what do I accept and allow to define me and my every moment in this world? What am I still holding on to with preventing me from living this word – such as ‘happiness’- as myself? Why had I defined this word as uncool and a pure sham? What am I missing out when dismissing living a world that is actually able to be lived and constructed in a self-honest manner?

Seems that self-sabotage is the only answer as to why we prevent us from digging out the corpses that prevent us from give ourselves a real blank-slate to create our lives, free from the past, I mean why would I want to hold on to an idea of ‘who I should be’? To be liked by ‘certain kinds of people’ only? Because I wanted to get along and ‘attract’ similar people – but would I then be even ‘attracting’ real and genuine people or only other similar characters that focus on getting along with similar characters in their lives to remain locked in the same characters forevermore?

Time to break the shell of one’s personality in all ways and challenge it further, and to me having to be speaking of solutions, focusing on looking at practical reality outcomes and how I can be a living example of doing this would have been like an ‘uncool’ thing to do in the past, because I was following the bashing/ rebelling trend, lol, not considering that I was really on my way to be a self-defined pariah that wanted to be special and ‘cool’ through abdicating all responsibility to myself and my world, because ‘oh it was ‘so cool’ to only bash the world and do nothing about it.’ ´

My suggestion is to watch out for this kind of thinking construct, even more so when this kind of ‘attitude’ is shaping lots of youngsters mindsets with ‘life mottos’ such as Y.O.L.O You Only Live Once and ‘living life on the fast lane,’ being the most ‘rebel’ and ‘darky’ and ‘antagonistic’ to precisely avoid youngsters genuine awareness of how they can contribute to creating life, a better future for all – and instead remain in an abysmal and gloomy outlook on life, because in that way you get discouraged from ‘doing something about it’ and so, it’s most profitable to seek ‘happiness’ or fulfillment through trends, drugs, partying and sex than doing anything genuinely supportive in one’s life.

And so, this is then a general self-awareness point wherein this ‘live fast, die young , don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone, do drugs, have sex with as many as you can and enjoy the rock and roll’ type of mentality is seen as ‘the ultimate cool’: It is not, and that’s why there’s such a vast amount of disarray and mental/physical problems in young adults that follow this ‘trends’ that actually start from TV, from so called ‘alternative books’ as well as it happened in my case.

 

Here’s an invitation to look at yourself, where is it that you are still a product of social-engineering brainwashing through the media and ‘culture’ in terms of personalities, likes-dislikes, preferences, the ‘type of people’ you’ve perceived yourself to be and all the points that go ‘against your character’ that you have refrained yourself from openly investigating. I would not have been able to get to this conclusion if I hadn’t walked the process of deconstructing ‘me’ as a personality and so link the dots to see why I had a slight reaction to even talk about ‘happiness’ before.

 

Life is not about becoming a character that seeks to be the ultimate cool and ‘rebellious,’ that’s the illusion of freedom SOLD as an EXPERIENCE.

Genuine and real freedom from mind control is to take responsibility for oneself, to actually not allow oneself to be brainwashed into ‘trends’ or following what the masses think is ‘cool’ which at the moment is ‘the masses think being a rebel is cool’ which is then of course not at all an actual ‘threat’ any longer, lol, it never has been! Think of the punk movement as being part of social engineering in Britain to exacerbate youngster’s addictions and dissociation from taking responsibility in their society, because drug addicts and an impaired society is more easy to control than healthy, self-aware and ‘unbrainwashable’ individuals, which is what we have to now focus on being and becoming – mind control is only possible if we accept it and allow it.

So, are you mind controlled?

 

Unhooking Past Definitions

 

Cool blog to read on re-approaching Happiness:

Why I First Resisted The Relationship of Happiness to Money – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 653

 

Oldie:

2012 Destonians Take Over the World: The New Culture of LIFE

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities – including the redefinition of happiness – in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


418. Deschooling Ourselves: Why and How to Do it?

 

unlearn rethink

After watching Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves workshop video, I realized how important it is to be aware of how much of ‘who we become’ as a person in our society and in relation to others is shaped in and by the schooling system. To this, it would also be unfair to only look at school as the only one problem there is in our society, because schools were created by us human beings in the first place so there’s a human mind behind it all; albeit for all practical purposes, the idea of ‘education’ and the blind trust that parents confer to the schooling system makes of the schooling system set up the most easy way to actually justify integrating values, beliefs, behaviors, ways of thinking reality, ways of relating to others, ways of survival among one another where we are geared to continually having to prove ourselves to be ‘the best’ or ‘the worst’ in a system of standardized marks.

School is also the place where we come to first get in contact with people of different backgrounds, where our initial social clash begins which leads us to start inherently doing a process of preference over principle, which is how we come to build our very first friendships and relationships, where we as children do not  have a full awareness of us in fact being in a closed-system where one gets to be friends with people that could or could not afford some private/public school, and so already from there, we start classifying ourselves based on our socioeconomic background.

I have to say it is also unfortunately the place where parents place their most trust on within the systemically integrated belief that ‘whatever happens in school is just fine’ and that teachers and the government system behind it as education system ‘knows best’ – while parents mostly see this as some free time from their parental duty – or are deliberately also kept busier with long hours of work which is leading to unattended children growing up in front of TV’s, computers plugged into the myriad of boundless information on the internet and learning tricks about drugs and developing sexual deviances as a way to escape the inherent anguish of living in a world where parents must work 24/7 to get money to live, and where you as a child/youngster will invariably have to end up doing the same… I mean, who would not react to that expectative of one’s ‘future’ in this broken world? Yet we dismiss it and actually have come to blame schools, blame media, blame the government, blame parents and so as you can see blaming each other for the problems we have co-created in our society of which school is one great and pivotal pillar of.

 

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There’s a complete structural problem in our society and a large part of it has to do with how we haven’t questioned our sacred institutions like schools and the way they exist nowadays, which from my perspective are more like prisons or reformatory cells, they have always been the brewing ground for behavioral conditioning, human experimentation and indoctrination which goes unnoticed within the idea that there’s always an authority that somehow has a ‘greater understanding,’ because we place our trust on systems of validation, certification and quality-proof standards placed by some organization we’ve defined as government, which are a few individuals that have unfortunately proven to be easily bribed to rather arrange laws and regulations in a way where other individuals can be benefitted from it all – either for profit, for further population control or both. All of this apparatus of authority is currently quite skewed of course and it is rather alarming since school is the spot where kids are mandated to go to every single day – yet, even if kids do not go to a school per se, the same principles of it are still embedded in the way that we organize ourselves, in the way that we related with one another, in the way that we value ourselves, in the way that we choose what we want to do with our lives, in the way that we behave with our families and friends. The sheer idea of ‘education’ as it exists now is only a reinforce and catalyzer of essential mind and behavioral patterns that have existed within us as human beings since the beginning of our species, as they are all existent in the very core programming and functioning of our minds. So, what have we done then? We have only perfected the mechanism to make it a continuous mandatory process for kids to get to like/dislike certain things and make decisions based on, well, mostly fear of survival so that we can keep the same slave system mechanism running. But is it really the system that is the enslaving one? Or is it that we haven’t really realized where the real policeman ‘in the head’ resides in? Hint, the answer is already given in that question.

 

In Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves, a group of people walk through and expose all the behaviors, personalities, quirks and fears that they have become throughout their schooling years, wherein either one would stick to the rules and follow or dissent and rebel in whichever way possible, one would start valuing oneself according to the kind of work you deliver to the teacher, another would seek to prove the teacher wrong, another would seek be approved by them, another just wanted to break free and rebel against all rules… this also included some other more personal aspects like  because in school we also have mostly faced some of our most embarrassing or stressing moments.

I’ve shared before about crying over getting lost during math calculation exercise and not being able to keep track of it, getting so anxious that I burst into tears. From my experience, I’ve shared before about the usual pressure one would get when being ‘on the top’ and so having some classmates trying to ‘take me down/take ‘my place’ and directly letting me know how they would win over me and how they would see me fall and be glad for it, etc. All kinds of bullying also comes when being the one that sticks to all rules and does things ‘to the T,’ which to me for example later on became a way to simply dislike being used as an example for the class, which led me to then want to hide while  still wanting to keep my sense of public recognition. This influenced the way I shaped my main personalities: I started to desire being ‘cool’ for any other reason other than getting straight A’s …  and kind of a ‘rebel’ by liking non-popular things so that I could make it clear that I wasn’t ‘the teacher’s pet’ either for example.

All of these patterns are part of a lengthy self-investigative process that is contained in the pages of this blog as I’ve seen that most of the times when investigating any mind pattern, word or behavior, it invariably goes back to one of those ‘memories of schooling days’ and how some of the most ingrained fight or flight patterns, behaviors, attitudes, self-definitions like qualities and virtues, likes and dislikes as well as career choice a.k.a. who I wanted to be and become as a person, were shaped based on the same education system. To me it also involved a process of sharing a room with either 6 other kids in my first school and then moving onto being with over 35 in the following schools and universities, which is already quite a challenge when it comes to seeing how it is virtually impossible for teachers to be truly aware of students in large classes.

School becomes ‘the place’ where we are supposed to ‘find our ground in life’ and so, it’s quite obvious that we only become copies of the copies of stereotypes that we also acquire from the usual imprinting of professions we are supposed to go veering toward from an early age as part of the social-structure – however along with that, we got movies, TV shows imprinting a whole different set of values with which we believe we are in fact ‘making a free choice’ to do what we want, but we have never even questioned whether what ‘we want’ is in fact something we truly developed for ourselves or something we learned from school or saw on TV or internet.

In essence, we have never really been genuinely ‘ourselves’ as all we have become is copy of the copy of the coping and survival mechanisms we’ve shaped as personalities or professions, and that’s what I mostly have realized also when it comes to investigating myself and my ‘core personalities’ and how everything that I developed as ‘my personality’ was a collection of bits and pieces of popular counter-culture aspects along with a decision to antagonize the system no matter what, while remaining ‘safely’ in it at the same time since I would still like to be the obedient straight A person in school, lol, even if I tried to ‘rebel’ at the end… it just would not work as I couldn’t simply fathom myself being irresponsible at school which involved a sense of responsibility of ‘school being the one thing that I had to do as my main activity’ throughout the years.

What is behind that, for example? Fear of being punished, fear of being left behind, fear of losing my self-value and definition? Fear of losing my ‘throne’ as the first one in the class? Well, these points are definitely something that come to define ‘who one is’ based on a particular setting like school, where we actually acquire this way of thinking based on achievements, values, marks, behaviors and responsibilities that lie not within a common sensical practical outcome, but according to doing things the way they are asked to be done and according to a ranking system that is in no way based on the particular skills and abilities that are unique to each child, that is simply not part of our school system.

At the end of that Deschooling workshop by Eisenstein, the ultimate question remains: how to Deschool ourselves? And I simply realized that actually walking this process of self-investigation, of writing oneself to freedom, of developing self-honesty wherein we investigate our core patterns within ourselves is the best way to deschool ourselves, because in investigating our behaviors, our personalities, our fears, our manias, our weaknesses and strengths, our relationships, our friendships, our first traumas, our first embarrassments, our bullying experiences, our relationship to authority, our ability to learn, our qualities and deficiencies, comparison and judgment toward others, our discriminatory or empathic behaviors, our friendships, our enemies… all of these aspects that one actually gets to first live in school – most of the times – are part of what one can write out for oneself, investigating each pattern within the awareness of writing the experience out to identify how is it that one has limited oneself in such pattern.

So for example, if I had continued to only value myself according to what marks I would get in school, and feel ‘bad’ for getting a lower mark, then I would have continued to seek to get some ‘straight A’s’ or the equivalent way to get such ‘superiority validation’ somewhere else in my world, just because of not wanting to get to the opposite side of that and so lose my self-validation/recognition. So I had to work with understanding ‘who am I as recognition’ and the desire thereof, where am I not valuing myself, how have I accepted and allowed myself to only value myself according to achievements at school? Or how have I believed myself to only be a brain that thinks well? Where am I not actually seeing myself beyond this limited valuing perspective and really seeing through a broader potential that I had probably and most likely would not have developed if I had continued to only stick to my personality and personal desires.

So, deschooling ourselves involves a practical and continuous application of walking a process to self-forgive and let go of all the plethora of perceived flaws, definitions, beliefs, limitations, fears and rather work with developing real self-value, real self-acceptance and skills to develop ourselves to our utmost potential. In this, for example, I had to stop the desire to be recognized by others, while at the same time also walking the opposite polarity – because, as one walks one pattern you also get to understand how the mind works in polarities. And so I realized that along with my desire to be recognized, I also got to fear being recognized and so actually sought to ‘hide’ or become a rather ‘low-key’ individual while still holding on this ‘recognition’ point in place, so essentially I would create my own inner conflict which I even externalized in the way that I would dress in a rather extravagant manner while  at the same time using my body’s posture to indicate that I didn’t want to be seen, so I would hunch while walking because I believed that standing straight was ‘showing off’ and only able to be done by good looking girls for example, lol, yes all of this is a fine example of how we pollute our minds in fact.

So, this is just a tip of the iceberg example that one is actually able to investigate for oneself when looking at all the patterns we’ve become in our lives, not only from school but acquired from parents, from people we watch on TV, from the books we read, from the people we admire, from our friends and people around us, etc. As I’ve mentioned, we’ve become the copies of the copies and so the schooling system, the social system has become nothing but a reflection of these categories and identities existent and developed in our minds wherein we get lost in comparison, judgment and the idea of value in relation to ‘who we are’ within the system, all of which actually enables us to coexist within our current dog-eat-dog mentality, where all that matters is achieving personal glory regardless of who or what is abused and affected by it, or ‘collaterally damaged.’

 

I am a product of this society and I’ve had to walk this rather astounding process of deschooling myself,  of deprogramming myself in my mind while at the same time walking a process of self-creation, which is a continued process of self-investigation of every single moment, every single day wherein one continues to assert oneself as the new integration of common sense, of living principles, of a sense of commonality, of a consideration of what’s best for all, of not following an experience as to ‘how I feel’ or how I believe ‘I should feel/be like/act like/talk like’ to dictate who I am in the moment,  wherein it is a continuous process of letting go of any constrains and limitations that I have previously identified through writing, and have released through the process of self-forgiving behaviors, emotions, feelings, thinking patterns, ideas about myself so that I could then practically and actively work on stopping myself from running-through the same old programmed ‘me.’

Now I place my focus on attention on this self-creation process which is truly a first-timer for us all to be able to walk and do, because it is now that we are for the first time becoming more and more aware of things that were deeply rooted in the unconscious before. Now we are able to slowly but surely as humanity able to spot these patterns and behaviors with greater ease, and I have to say that this then a great opportunity and it does rejoice me to see more and more people starting to question themselves, and the overall world-system, which indicates there’s in fact a great opportunity existent here to change the direction of our lives if more and more people start waking up and smelling reality for what it is so that we can work together to correct and align it.

I must also say that when I speak of this process, it isn’t something I do ‘by myself’ nope, it would have been mostly more difficult I’d say – I walk with a group of people networked through the internet – around the globe – with whom we’ve shared our lives,  our writings for over 7 years now, keeping in constant processes of developing and strengthening our communication and feedback processes to ensure that we don’t get lost in this re-educational process we’re walking, which has to do little to nothing to any regular ‘schooling system,’ but we are all more than certain that more individuals must recognize the vital importance of implementing this self-investigation process as part of our schooling system, learning how to work with our minds as our thoughts, feelings, emotions, to learn how to effectively write them out and communicate about them while integrating a sense of self-support through developing common sense: the consideration of what is best for all. 

It is about time we realize that it makes complete sense to actually focus on empowering each other to learn how to best coexist as human beings rather than focusing on being liked by the teacher, or beating our classmates, or planning ways to get into a group of friends to ‘fit in,’ or planning our greatest success where we disregard another’s life of lack of opportunities and suffering that is and has become our collateral damage in this zero sum reality.

It is thus in our greatest and most common interest that we could all walk this self-education process of self-honesty which is a process of self-creation according to living principles to get to develop ourselves to our fullest potential, and so make it part of our educational programs in whichever way they take shape in the (near) future once that we more and more realize how detrimental and even harmful our current standardized type of educational systems are which actually stems from the skewed and misconstrued value systems in our minds.  

So, the best way to deschool ourselves, which is the same as saying the best way to change ourselves is definitely walking the Desteni I Process. There’s no greater set of tools in this world, nor greater group of people that commit themselves to support one another throughout this Journey to Life, to live in dignity and equality. And I can only encourage everyone to try it out for yourself, because if I had aimed at simply wanting to ‘change’ but not really investigating my mind and living patterns to the utmost degree, to really learn how to sweep behind the rug of my memories, my past, my experiences, to understand who am I within my mind and how to practically apply and establish solutions in my day to day living, I would have been equally lost in a constant yearning ‘for change’ but not really knowing how or where to start.

This isn’t an easy thing to do either, it’s probably the greatest commitment we’ll ever make in our lives, which is our commitment to actually learn how to live in the benefit of ourselves and all life considered. However, it will for sure be the most rewarding and long lasting for future generations as well.  

 

Recommend to Read:

Teacher’s Journey To Life

 

Remove the cords - self change -deschooling - desteni

Artwork by Damián Ledesma 

 

 

Recommended to watch:

Hear the Podcasts:

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


404. Deconstructing Culture as Myself

 

As I continue my self-investigation it seems that realizing the fact that we all have been preprogrammed individuals following a very specific ‘plan’ that involved conditioning ourselves to become a certain role/personality in our minds and never question it,  wasn’t still completely grasped within me when it comes to seeing culture and how it has been specifically designed to support particular agendas that have led to various ‘cultural movements’ that within me I still wanted to believe were attempts of us as human beings trying to ‘break-through’ or ‘break-free’ – lol – but mostly managing to break ourselves further through imprinting certain behaviors, ideas, concepts, morals, ‘world vision’ that became actual distractors in the sense that none of these points would be useful or supportive for a genuine change in this world, but instead it was the patterning and standardization of what we would think, what we would understand as ‘freedom’ and what we would find entertaining or alluring in our lives, which is also containing the ways in which we see/define/categorize and think ourselves and everyone/everything else, which is mind control through the most ‘subtle means’ such as television/media/arts and everything that is usually reached by the average person, even if such person doesn’t go to school for example.

 

All of this was part of the ‘greater plan’ to be perpetually enslaved to our own constant desire to experience, to be ‘hooked on energy’ so to speak which is what we accepted as our every day living, our every day ‘drive’ and motivation to go to work, do the exact same things every day to earn a living and then come home and be able to relax while getting ‘updated’ on ‘what is going on in our minds’ which is what then becomes part of your passive indoctrination into new fascinations, new obsessions, new desires to consume, body types, new personalities, new things to essentially get ourselves occupied with in our minds which became a self-inflicted way to accept and allow ourselves to dive into complacency of how this system operates, since we mostly came to conclude that ‘As long as I can have my free time to do whatever I like doing to relax and entertain myself and those around me are protected ($),  who cares whatever else is going on in the world?’ – we even have gotten to the point of praising our enslavement by idolizing those that we have accepted and allowed as ‘masters’ in our world and gullibly thinking that we can someday reach/rich ‘that top’… without realizing the system is structured to not allow anyone else to get to such positions, but be constantly reminded ‘they can’ if they just hit the jackpot like stars do nowadays with reality shows, singing contests and whatnot. It’s All around us and no matter if kids are homeschooled, kids will still be having a TV, internet, peers that will simply be also the product of all of this so, we have to establish principles in order to direct ourselves within it and so the younger more impressionable minds too.

 

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In my case I linking what should have been rather obvious to me from the time that I became more ‘acquainted’ with TV at the age of 7, specifically cable TV and American TV Channels. But also from the books that I read throughout my teenage years, I was still holding on to them and the writers as proof of what I believed was an attempt of us to ‘breakthrough’ or ‘step out of the system’ when it comes to human creativity and other creations like music, fine arts, films – all of the ‘marvels’ of the world that I once saw myself being ‘inspired by’ in order to overcome my own inner conflict which was in fact first of all created by everything that I began watching on TV as I had no actual ‘worries’ in my life as such. I can say I am a genuine product of spending childhood watching MTV for example. So, I’ve been finding out how it is that these ‘artists’ were in fact used or let’s place it in a more tangible way: their own creativity was rather used in order to further certain agendas related to ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to instilling ‘new’ ideas, personalities, fantasies, personalities, ‘ideologies’ and even addictions within people, all of it paid with what is called fame and fortune wrapped in the package of ‘celebritism’ or artistic personalities or eccentrics that portrayed the apparent ‘perfect ways’ to ‘escape the system’ – to present the illusion of ‘yes, anyone can get to the top!’ or ‘Anyone can beat the system and escape!’  and bam! There I went, right into it as far as I could when I was into aiming at doing/becoming like certain personalities and doing what they did and living their life.

 

Now within this there’s also a point to consider how it is not only some evil cabal’s plan to complete their ‘great work’ and have all these stereotypes, morals, behaviors, ideas being imprinted in everyone’s minds through manufacturing culture and all of us believing that artistic manifestations were evidence of ‘man’s evolution’ – which in essence as such, evolution is just consciousness upgrading itself, which means there’s no real Self-Awareness in it, just new ‘trends’ that could be sold to people in an attempt to fulfill the constant desire to progress, to advance, to ‘become better’ – lol – not realizing we haven’t ‘evolved’ an iota from the moment of our creation, only the scenarios have changed and we have seen our ‘technology’ create the illusion that we have changed, but we haven’t, at all.

 So this is to understand that the history we have been taught in schools of course is taught by the winners, those that have created the wars and have perpetuated the idea of how a god would choose who the monarchs would be, and so forth – all of it which was usually ‘backed’ by the evidence of artistic creations used as another alibi to confirm certain theories of our evolution. But in reality, a lot of it has been transfixed in order to suit certain theories to, once again, advance certain notions of evolution, of real change and human refinement, simply to continue justifying what we have as ‘arts’ today which have mostly become part of the dumbification or downgrading of ourselves as individuals in order to promote carelessness, apathy, destruction, chaos, mental disorders, the destruction of any value or principle but only shock and disturb to such an extent that it becomes a ‘norm’ nowadays in what we call our entertainment, which is really entrainment.

Once we get to know of the actual history – through currently non-institutionalized sources of course – of how our culture has been engineered as a necessary tool of propaganda to back the ‘story’ of ‘how things are/how they have been’ and paving the way to ‘how things will be’ there is no doubt that we are continuing to lock ourselves in these ideals based on what we get/absorb from the media/environment around us, which is nothing else but the same mind patterns made ‘enjoyable’ just like junk food that one can get addicted to: it tastes good, you then crave for it but nevermind really getting to know about the lack of nutritional content.  In essence our culture has become the glorification and legitimization of ‘our human nature’ as ‘who we are as the mind,’ separated from reality into the fictional stories that we could spend our entire lifetime creating of ourselves as personalities, as ‘characters’ in our own ‘movie’ that we actually begun thinking we had to create as ‘our lives’ and ‘our relationships.’ It’s been very interesting to me to see my own brainwashing and how my own relationships, my own thoughts/ideas/fixations were all imprints that I took from music, music videos, books, TV shows and essentially immersing myself in a culture that I wanted to belong to at the time – American Culture – because of loathing ‘my own culture’ which is what I had then perceived as the low-life Mexican Culture and as such never realizing I was actually then going to be my own reference as to ‘who one becomes’ when continually watching American TV, which I did for the most part from age 7 till probably 15-16 or so.

 

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CULTure is the perfect way to entrain ourselves into consciousness, ‘what everyone is thinking about’ and ‘what’s talked about’ which comes in the form of our news, TV shows, movies, music, etc. containing components as behaviors, personalities, thinking patterns, fashion, attitudes, morals, obsessions, addictions, etc. – all of it having ‘profitable’ purposes but goes beyond that and into the necessary role of providing the ‘circus for the masses’ to ensure that this time, the Holy Roman Empire does not fall for not giving enough bread and circus to the people. One only has to have a look around us and see that it’s easier to talk to someone about a TV show than politics or economics; it’s easier to strike a conversation with someone about a movie than it is to discuss our emotionally driven tendencies to buy products as way to compensate for some kind of ‘emotional need.’ Culture has always been the way to perpetuate a mindset, a way to legitimize ‘how life is lived’ and ‘how things are done,’ what is ‘cool’ and what is not, which essentially consolidates our usually used as an excuse to not change ‘human nature’ – culture is its own PR campaign that we are then taught in schools as part of our history and ‘ethics’ so that we are reminded that ‘there’s ALWAYS been someone at the top of the food chain, there’s ALWAYS been slaves that are disempowered, deal with it, try to always aim at the top and enjoy the show while it lasts.’

Currently if one cannot see the actual agendas for further depravity, lack – because they were never ‘lost’ of any living principles and the ‘Do as Thou Wilt’ mentality to give continuation to our ‘age old’ culture, one must be very, very brainwashed – not to worry though, it’s not too late yet. Nowadays sexual depravity is the ‘norm’ when it comes to the idea of ‘sexual liberation’ and female empowerment means stripping down in front of crowds and being praised by millions as some kind of ‘queen.’ Another example is how within our ingrained desire to ‘feel free’ the idea of ‘the rebel’ or the ‘anti-system’ became part of the social engineering process to always contain and control any form of actual break-through within individuals, which is the predictable way of acting if you see that something is ‘not right’ and your are being abused, you then aim and attempt to ‘break free’ from the oppressor by opposing, judging, antagonizing and denying it, revolting against it which are all the ‘anti’ movements that have become part of the systematic and predictable antithesis processes to actually Contain the people within such stance/roles and behaviors for which ‘the system’ as we have all co-created it was always ready to thrown back some ‘solution’/synthesis to further control. It’s just following what Lenin said in the lines of If you want to control the opposition, take the head of it, and you can see that all ‘leaders’ and role models in arts and so-called revolutionary people have been also part of perpetuating the same status quo, even if they were not aware of.

 

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To prove this point in terms of realizing how our culture has not been one that supports life, I bet that you have most likely never seen a movie pointing out how life is not about participating in our own mind as thoughts, emotions or feelings… or becoming self-responsible, or empowering each other to become the actual directors of our lives, of how poverty could be eradicated if we all partake in political solutions – not just one lucky good-doer leader here and there – not at all, instead we create the opposite and as such, it becomes what occupies our mind at a conscious level, it’s what suits our ‘human nature’ which is that of blame, vengeance, victimization…  just look at V for Vendetta that became the brainwashing mechanism for everyone at Occupy Wall street believing they had some kind of ‘power’ to oust ‘the bankers’ while seeking revenge – lol, fascinating how MOVIES are in fact dictating how we even ‘revolt’ nowadays, isn’t it? Not to mention the masks that became part of protests since 2011 and specifically the ‘anonymous movement’ are copyrighted to Time Warner, thank you for your contribution to one of the five top corporations that run the media in this world – wink, wink. How have we accepted and allowed to become SO predictable and SO Brainwashed and still fall for it? Easy, the same culture has become the only ‘soup of thoughts’ we all swim in.

 

 

This is precisely WHY ‘going against the system’ is just becoming the predictable pattern within the foreseeable attempts to ‘break free’ from our minds which is just playing the role of becoming the dark pole to the white counterpart or ‘going in the opposite direction,’ confirming our ‘dialectic’ predictable mentality that was also part of what ‘great philosophers’ left on Earth…  it is really only giving a name to the mechanisms in which we operate in our own minds – no big discovery, only making visible what we already exist as in our polarity mind-constructs of good and bad, right and wrongs, positive and negatives caging ourselves into oblivion within Energy and the illusion of ‘breaking free’ – all of it being the ‘building blocks of the illusion’ that we can call culture formed by the massive distribution and repetition of ideologies, images, sounds = all created in and as the image and likeness of who we are as the mind and its mechanisms, hence the importance of knowing thyself and becoming Aware of what one thinks, what principles one lives by, how we created our personality, what are our goals in life and where did we take those ideals from? Why do we dress a particular way? Why do we like a particular set of movies? Why do we Feel differently toward things, people, places, music …. There are so many theories and attempts to debunk the origin of our culture and all I can remember from it is that as human history it ends up when ‘hitting a wall’ where no man has gone beyond – before 2006 – and attributing everything to god or a creator and as such, for example seeing the origin of art as having some kind of magical-religious purposes…. Oh yes, that means core programming for enslavement within the idea of ‘higher someone’ dictating everything we do and because we could not understand it, we came to draw it or paint it or sculpt it so that it would later on become our way to solidify the same plot of what we have come to accept and allow as ‘how things have always been,’ and even learned how to revere it as well! That is us at the dawn of our species, and that is still us at the time as well. No evolution has taken place whatsoever.

 

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Coming back to my own case here, it’s cool and rather necessary for me to debunk what I see I had wanted to hold on to as some kind of belief in ‘human creativity spark’ or a bit of ‘romanticism’ when It comes to human expression and sure, the works and creations themselves can still be very well done, but it’s definitely not something ‘special’ or as an attempt to ‘break through’ some kind of programming – lol –  it’s rather the opposite. Once one starts seeing and understanding the ‘big picture’ and how these personalities or built-up stars play a role within the whole scheme and get to understand who paid them, for what purpose, within the context of which agenda, any remains of romanticism or ‘out of the box’ hopes upon artists just goes down to the drain as it should, because it was never ‘real’ anyways, it was never intended to honor and support life, so why praising something or someone that I personally only used to confirm my own existence as a mind consciousness system that absorbed all of this knowledge and information to further myself down my own mythological rabbit whole? It’s pointless.

To me this is a bit ‘late’ to realize in my process with such clarity, but better later than ever breaking through yet another ‘layer’ within the experiences, ideals and fascinations held within me as part of ‘my personality’ created in the image and likeness of the illusion; what I mean by ‘illusion’ are my experiences, my own responses toward certain artists, books, films, arts in general which means, how I FEEL and how I would See myself in relation to ‘what is of this world’ and what ‘suit’ I wore most of the time to be in it. I also see that I can apply this same realization to any other point or aspect in reality toward which I had held some ‘special value’ upon and instead see it  within self-awareness for what it physically is,  realizing that there’s no ‘grandeur’ in anything in this reality at the moment that I could genuinely ‘praise,’ because everything that we’ve ever done as humanity and our ‘culture’ specifically has been engineered within the context of our preprogrammed reality, of revering the mind and system that it is in our outside world – but never life which is what I actually ended up doing for myself: I found ‘my place’ in the world in a comfortable cage where – If I had continued down my ‘preprogrammed path’ – I could not at all have affected real change, because arts as I now see, in order to become really ‘famous’ and revered, you cannot genuinely destabilize the status quo, and so all the people I admired and I believed made some advancements really only landed themselves in jails or ended up as drug addicts, alcoholics, committed suicide or fell for the path of fame and glory as it is still apparently ‘too hard to refuse’ when you can sign a pact with the devil to get everything you want and ‘make it’ in this dog-eat-dog world. We have all become preys of our own emotions, feelings, desires and wants, yet we believe that that is the key to a fulfilling life, to ‘get it all’ when it is in fact that way in which we are imprisoning us all at the moment, disregarding the fact that if I take more for me, I am in fact leaving another without any.

This is a lengthy point to me as I chose to and wanted to become part of culture as a creator of it, so I chose to study a career dubbed as ‘creator of culture’ which is arts, visual arts and for the most part I’ve seen how ‘arts’ in general are being used as the circus to entertain, to further decay, to instill new ‘ideologies’ and ideas with which we most likely end up much worse that we already are doing in our overall human decay we’re living in. This too can be changed and I see this IS the point I can certainly do not only for myself, but for anyone else that’s realizing the same propaganda-role that art has taken throughout our known history of it.

 

So, this is not over yet, it’s only just begun. I would actually challenge and/or suggest to you reading this to look at which character either from a film or book, what artist you idolized or ‘wanted to emulate’ for some reason and why, what kind of ideology from a certain movie or series you could ‘identify’ with and decided to make it your own by becoming/acting/speaking/wanting to look like someone you saw on the TV, a film, a book character, an artist, etc. The more and more we start considering the seemingly subtle ways in which our behavior and what we claimed to be ‘our own personality’ has been influenced by the media and entertainment we participate on a constant basis, the more we will be able to realize to what extent we are STILL accepting and allowing the continuation of the problems in this world by realizing that our current culture is not one of self-support and honoring each other as life, as equals – but instead we are using it to perpetuate and upgrade our own alienation from the matters that should have always been part of our culture, which begins with self-awareness of who we are in ourselves as our mind and How we are contributing to the creation or destruction of our reality with the ways we act, speak, think within our lives and toward others.

 

This will continue …

 

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Are you mind controlled? Test yourself here:


394. When Calling out Abuse turns into Abuse itself

When the Offender becomes the Offended

Continuing from:

 

In an attempt to ‘save an animal from suffering’ according to me, I created further consequences which I completely disregarded when I in one moment saw the common sense of feeding a dog that was barking for hours on which I came to find eating his own feces while being short-chained to a pole inside his owner’s house. Little did I consider that I was ‘infringing private property’ when being opened the door by, let’s call it ‘a tenant’ of the owner’s house through which I got access to give food to the dog and so stop him from wailing over hours end. His water covered with a plastic plate and he had begun to lick his own feces to what I believe was to mitigate his hunger.
At the sight of this, I ran to my house and got food for him, gave it to him until I was satisfied that he had stopped wailing/barking asking for food. So, where were the owners? It’s not the first time this happens which is why I decided to ‘take the matter in my own hands’ without realizing that later on I would have the backlash of a threat by the owners, saying I was barging into private property, attacking their child and directly affecting the neighbor that leases the space from the dog owners, who also happens to be a lawyer.

An hour or so afterward  I saw when another member of the house got in and so I ran to tell her how inhumane it is to leave the dog that way and if she would like to be tied to a pole and be so hungry that she would resort to licking her own feces – she agreed it is not. There was a kid with her, around 8-9 years old that is ‘the responsible’ one because he’s got the duty to feed the dog and didn’t feed him because ‘he could not find the scissors.’ I repeated the same thing to him: Would YOU like to be that dog tied to the pole and having no food or water so that you resort to lick and eat your own poo? He said no and so I said then why are you treating your dog that way? Well, apparently the child got scared and complained  to his parents about what I said.

This then turned into a third scenario where I got both parents coming at my door, quite pissed off telling me how dare I talk like that to their child? I repeated the same words, the same expression to them and within the context and reason for it of leaving a dog that certainly has no voice to ask for food without being fed and wailing for hours end to the point where it is unbearable – and I had a live conference starting soon which would come through if he would have remained without eating according to me.

Mother admits ‘You might be right on that’ about not feeding the dog…. BUT! how dare I talk to her child like that? Oh well, I see no problem on that, who else will let the child know the consequences of his irresponsibility if it’s not pointed out by the creators of the child of course, the parents in this case?

 

So here a few points for context. The reality of the matter is that there is an innumerable quantity of beings that are going hungry and just because they don’t bark and wail, I don’t go trying to ‘rescue them.’ The reality is in fact that the noise was so unbearable to me that I reacted to the incessant barking, just like when listening to children being hit and yelled at by the parents next door – but there I cannot go knock the door and ‘save the children’ nor do I want to, because I understand the generational abuse we’ve all become as human beings wherein parents only learn how to ‘educate’ with slaps and screaming at children – but, according to ‘me’ to do this ‘against an animal’ that means an innocent/voiceless individual that cannot have his own lawyer to sue the irresponsible owners for ‘not being fed’ and left alone at home tied with a 50 cms chain to a pole, and so eating his own feces, is simply unacceptable. That is actually the me as the ‘savior’ talking about what I come to become aware of, because this is also happening to human beings and virtually every living being that is being deprived of any form of dignity and living rights, resorting to do the unimaginable just to calm the pain from hunger and finding some form of security – have I then gone and immediately ‘sorted out the problem? No

More so: was my 10 minute visit to the dog to feed him going to solve the problem? No, because I’m not the owner of the dog and as such I have no direct control as to whether he’s going to be fed properly from here on either.

 

What I actually reacted the most is seeing such hideous view of the skinny dog licking his feces, but I would not have known if it hadn’t been initially triggered by the high pitched barking that I was being annoyed with and pondering why is no one seeing what is wrong with him? And yes, it seems it has become part of the ‘soundtrack’ around here wherein it no longer raises questions as to why dogs bark that way – and here it is to realize it is the result of an entire socioeconomic situation where poor/lower class means less ‘education’ about how to educate themselves, their children and consequently how to handle pets/animals and so treating them with the meaning of ‘animal’ which is contextually and culturally accepted as ‘less than’ or less of a living being, which is  perplexing, but I realized this when drawing the parallel between a human and a dog and having people almost not consider at all that the dog is a sentient living being just like themselves …..

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to blame people for being so abusive and inconsiderate to their animals, without placing this situation into context as to  seeing the environment they are living in, the entire socioeconomic and educational context, the information or the lack of it in order to take ‘good care’ of animals wherein I complain about ‘the abuse that others commit unto their animals’ without first considering how it is in fact a collective abuse that I am also a part of as I am also an equal part of everything and everyone that is here

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people as negligent while being angry at them for leaving the dog without any food or accessible water, without realizing that in fact the first trigger was the high pitch barking and that with this sound I was actually first getting annoyed and rather concerned about ‘what could be happening to him that he’s wailing and barking so much?’ which was then in part knowing that he might be hungry, but also wanting him to shut up, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to admit that I actually first got more annoyed by the dog barking than being genuinely concerned about him being unfed as this was only realized afterward when I peeked into the house and saw him licking his feces, which is when I then triggered the anger due to the ‘inconsiderate owners’ that leave their pet to starve – without wanting to draw the parallel for myself to see how I as a member of this humanity, of everything and everyone that is here, I’ve committed the same atrocity in justifying, excusing and accepting the normalcy of poverty, of hunger and of crimes against life that go beyond not providing food to beings, but actually the entire disenfranchisement from each other’s living right to live in dignity, and more so toward the beings we share the Earth with as all the animals that we’ve enslaved for our benefit.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my self to place myself in the character of ‘the savior’ and the ‘good and righteous one’ wherein I absolutely ignored potential consequences of doing what I believe is ‘right’ without considering the current structure and general considerations of the world-system I am still living into, where all ways of avoiding taking responsibility at a legal manner can be used against me, instead of rather recognizing the fault and remediate it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after the event happened I said to myself I haven’t learned a thing, I did it again’ because I had previous experiences of seeing animal abuse specifically toward dogs and then confronting their owners, in which I sometimes placed myself in rather risky situations because of not knowing how the ‘owners’ will react to me confronting them with the question of ‘would you like to be treated like that if you were a dog?’ and so, within this I have to once again realize that even if this time I wasn’t with the owners and believing that I was doing a ‘good thing’ by feeding him, even expecting to be ‘thanked’ by the owners, this is only me and my mind because no one really likes to be told about their mistakes and faults, and so it was rather negligent by myself to involve other individuals in this situation without Any regard to the actual consequences, taking others minds into consideration and this went on just because I only considered ‘feeding the dog’ as a ‘good thing’ and so having him shut up as ‘fulfilling my point’ with the situation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to once again as I was talking to the neighbor, one of the ‘owners’ but not the direct owner of the dog, I went into yelling at the end based on seeing that they didn’t respond in any sort of ‘shame’ or ‘regret’ that I was expecting from them upon hearing that their dog was eating their own feces because he wasn’t fed

I realize that I actually then was attempting to have them react in order to believe that ‘they would feel bad and so learn the lesson to not leave their dog unfed’ – but, the reality is that they seemed to not care that much  about it, and simply responding that no they would not like to be in the dog’s shoes but essentially shutting the door at me, which is why I got yelling and pissed off at them saying I would call to animal services for a legal complain if this went on again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my anger in that moment was justified because ‘they were ignoring me and my complain about THEIR abuse’ which is in fact simply ‘they were ignoring ME’ and so this is why I reacted with anger

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a shocked and rather upset experience when seeing how the owner had taken the point I explained about the dog and how they used it only to come and ‘get back at me’ for apparently attacking their child, which is obviously non sense if by ‘attack’ they mean me asking the boy if he’d like to be tied to a pole and having to eat his feces as food for lacking any real food – within this pondering what can be so shocking about a human doing that if they are allowing their dog to do that, so why are dogs not seen as equals as humans? Not realizing that in this assessment I was rather naively considering that human beings regularly see animals as equals to humans, which is really not the case yet at all, so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off at the mother of the child when my words were seen as an ‘attack’ because of describing the scene of their dog and placing their son in the position of the dog as a parallel to understand his irresponsibility,  which to me seems like the most normal thing to do, but I ‘forgot’ to consider other human beings’ mentalities where they do not yet see and consider animals as one and equal to human beings and instead parents take any word given to their children very personally, so

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually look back at myself and how I once was also a child that was taught to leave dogs outside and really see them as beings I had to consider as inferior even though I actually thought they would also ‘feel’ – which in turn got me into believing that dogs shouldn’t be eating along with humans, dogs shouldn’t be sitting on tables or any other animal for that matter and seeing them as ‘filthy’ because that is what I also as a child got to learn about animals and so also then creating my own superiority and inferiority scheme toward animals myself.

I realize that to me it has taken a long process to be able to equalize myself to animals, to pass from the fear toward animals, the disgust toward animals, to the consideration of animals as equals as myself. Therefore what I’ve also pondered is how by me reacting in such a way toward certain situations of animal abuse, it is me really trying to make up for my previous ideas and beliefs of animals being inferior, filthy, less worthy beings than human beings which is how I was taught to treat animals as well, therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize the dog in an attempt to make the owners feel bad about their dog, without realizing that in this only managing the situation at an emotional level, I am only trying to manipulate people to consider common sense while wanting them to feel bad about it, instead of realizing that I could have explained it within a more stable manner which is where I still have to work on when it comes to seeing a point of abuse and not justifying my anger due to ‘the abuse’ as this will only put people’s guard on and so create an even greater conflict, instead of having managed the situation in a much more subtle and calmed-down manner, which means in stability, pointing out the situation without directly ‘blaming’ them.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my anger toward neighbors based on the abuse that I see that they have imposed onto their dog as a result of what I’ve called negligence and simple carelessness toward their dog, without realizing that I through this judgment I then separate myself from the abuse imposed, not realizing that I have also been negligent toward life in many many forms and ways on a daily basis, even in an unawareness point as I am a part of everything and everyone that is here and this world is nothing else but the equation of abuse that we are all living in and co-existing in because we have are so separated from life itself, that we are barely or not even aware at all of all the consequences and abuse that we cause each other on a daily basis, not only through evident things like leaving over 30 thousand children to starve each day, but the multiple relationships of abuse with which we have ensured we don’t even regard, consider each other as equals to begin with, like money as a belief system that supports inequality and greed for example.

 

I realize that by becoming so enraged with a point of abuse, I am only utilizing it as a point to lash out on my own accumulated anger at the problems, the abuse that I see around here and had accumulated from hearing the neighbors yelling or probably hitting their children, alcohol abuse, no regard toward neighbors, no regard toward having animals in a suitable condition and generally the complacency and law of least effort that I have judged this environment I’m living in with, wherein I continually ‘lose faith in humanity’ when observing at people’s actions, words, bodies, deeds, ways of interacting and so within this building up an unspoken frustration and annoyance about ‘them’ and ‘the world’ without realizing that such experiences only exist within me first and so they are MY responsibility to take care of and stop fueling within me such experiences, and so continue directing myself to be a point of support for any individual that does want to support and assist themselves as myself to become better human beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be affected by my environment at the level wherein I act irrationally and not consider all outflows and potential points that could open up by me doing something that ‘I’ have defined as ‘good’ and as something that will benefit a suffering individual, without realizing that in this, I am in fact only looking at me-myself and actually my self-interest because I have only wanted to ensure that I can get the dog quiet and get the environment without so much noise that was coming from various parts, which I have taken as an excuse to get angry at the noise that actually only bothers me in fact, therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by noises like dogs barking, music from neighbors and so not really being entirely living up to my commitments to remain stable while listening to noises around me, and allowing me to be unsettled when children cry, when dogs bark, when music is on and so going into a victimized state of ‘the environment that annoys me’ instead of realizing that the reactions all stem from me and as such I am the only one that can take responsibility for myself to remain stable without being affected by noises outside.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into guilt within the possibility of the child really feeling attacked by me, and in this realizing that guilt does nothing but instead the actual solution would be to simply let go of it and rather confront the child and explain why I said such words and as such be able to explain that my intention was not that of an attack, but rather of a direct illustration of what his dog was going through just because he couldn’t feed him.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘bash’ myself with all the past 3 memories of talking directly to dog owners about the abuse that I saw they were inflicting on their dogs, wherein I simply believe that ‘I can’t stop myself’ from doing something upon witnessing such dog abuse’ – though, if I look at it closely, this entire reality is in fact the sole manifestation of abuse and harm and neglect toward one another at levels that have become unfortunately invisible to all of us, therefore I realize that I am an equal part of this collective negligence that I’ve simply attached an emotional reaction to in order to make myself the ‘righteous’ one, the one that ‘sees the abuse’ specifically keeping an irregular eye on ‘dogs’ and ‘dog abuse’ without realizing that I am doing nothing really when it comes to first stopping the abuse within myself completely as the emotional reaction upon abuse, and so giving myself a moment to consider the ‘greater perspective’ and the context of such point of ‘abuse’ so that I can consider all the outcomes, possible outflows of me exposing a point of abuse within the confrontation with the owners.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where beings can be ‘owned’ and as such being so separate from everything that is here that dogs cannot even be heard or understood by people, which is yet another outflow of us only living in our little bubbles in the mind in self-interest which is then where I see my point of abuse actually still exists in.

 

Here I have to realize that I am in this world system wherein there are greater ways to ‘get back at someone’ for something, rather than doing any real form of ‘justice’ as we haven’t even really lived justice within ourselves as individuals that have a mind and a body that should exist within the alignment and principle of what is best for all, and we haven’t done that at all just yet – therefore, how can I ask such principles and considerations to others if I haven’t yet lived by those myself?

Now, within the context of the abuse toward the dog. It is so, it is a form of abuse however there could have been other ways for me to expose the situation and solve the problem, therefore:

When and as I see myself building up a reaction of annoyance upon hearing the dog barking and wailing and having an experience of frustration and irritation about the dog’s sound – I stop myself, and I breathe – and I practice on remaining stable so as to not make the dog’s sound a ‘noise’ within myself as something ‘disturbing’ and instead focus on how I can rather be stable within me regardless of dogs barking, babies/children crying incessantly or loud music playing around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just now think ‘that’s a real challenge’ which in this I am already ‘giving into ‘ failing at my correction and believing that the noises, dogs barking loudly and incessantly, babies crying and children yelling incessantly is something ‘I just cannot stop reacting to’ which is here then believing that my mind and my reactions are more powerful than my ability to remain stable which then is something that I have to commit myself to prove to myself, that I can remain stable even with the most constant sounds around me, which is something I haven’t yet fully committed myself to live by.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define children crying as annoying and irritable, without considering that in fact what I get most reactive about is the behaviors and abuse that triggers it such as parents hitting or yelling at the children – and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react at a situation of parental abuse, without realizing that this is a point that will take time to sort out in humanity as we’ve lived generation after generation with the same patterns and mentality of parents as children’s authority and that ‘education’ equals yelling, hitting, screaming, threatening and instilling fear, which is pretty much the way the entire world system operates wherein we’ve learned that we can only exist within a relationship of oppression and having to obey upon the threat of punishment.

Therefore I realize that I have to stop reacting to any point of abuse either toward animals or children as the most evident forms of abuse that I see around me, because within this I am also singling them out and neglecting the overall abuse that we create and participate in every single day beginning with the participation in the dictatorship of my mind, my experiences and belief systems that affect each other equally, such as the money system, the political system, the self-religion systems and personalities in which we have all abdicated our responsibility to life and instead have kept each other in bubbles, fighting each other instead of realizing that the more we fight and complain and get angry at each other, the more we miss out the point of recognizing a point of abuse as ourselves and so focusing on rather creating ways to make each other aware of the situation, create solutions and recognize equal responsibility to all forms of abuse that we tend to ‘point out’ only toward others, neglecting the fact that it is oneself doing and imposing such abuse, as we are all in fact one and equal.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to go and ‘solve a problem’ wherein I have to  practically go an enter someone else’s house and intend to give food to a dog I don’t know even his eating habit, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am in fact becoming possessed by my urgency to simply ‘get rid of the barking’ which happens in a similar manner when I attempt to go and ask neighbors to shut up, because I have to now consider what invading private property is and the consequences thereof, who I get involved into my desire to ‘solve the problem’ and as such cause them conflicts and potential loss just because of wanting them to be participating in what I see is a ‘good deed’ such as feeding a hungry dog and ignoring even the fact that I was really not allowed in with permission, nor did I consider the fact that the dog could have been allergic to some of the foods I gave him.

Therefore I commit myself to rather first stabilize myself, ensure that I am stable instead of acting based on reaction or wanting to get rid of ‘the annoyance’ – then I can if I see that the dog is barking incessantly, then I can go and knock the door and ask politely if the dog is doing well because I hear him barking and wailing too much. If the owners are not at home, then I simply have to wait and see if they arrive – if not then I can ask other neighbors around to see if they know what to do in such cases or if there is anyone that is allowed to feed the animal. If not, then I would resort to asking the same neighbors to simply give him something to eat, and not enter myself into the house. If this doesn’t work and the situation is going on for several hours then I will call animal services to ask for them as a legal authority to witness the point of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within me wanting to ‘call out a point of abuse’ I actually also involved others that initially would not have involved themselves in the situation, and all because I heard the dog barking loudly and I wanted some silence because I required to record. I realize that I have to be able to slow myself down even when I am witnessing the most hideous form of abuse going on and to ensure I am not acting based on reaction or desperation and justifying my ‘doing all I can’ due to seeing a point of abuse, as in that I am not measuring the contextual consequences, but only looking within the limited range scope of ‘soothing the animal’s pain’ and also having him shut up, which is the point of self interest that I also commit myself to not react to, and instead place the point of abuse into context, seeing beyond the most ‘obvious’ forms of abused I’ve usually made it ‘normal’ to react to, such as abuse toward children from their parents and abuse toward animals, mostly dogs by their owners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word ‘abuse’ as negative and within this charge then justifying any and all actions that I then ‘take on’ in order to stop this point of defined abuse with a negative charge, which means that in this, what I will do to ‘fix the problem’ is charged in a positive manner, without realizing that I am only reacting to the situation at an emotional level and as such not really placing into context the point of abuse and who is involved so that I can first dialogue with people and whoever is involved in the situation, before making the abrupt and rather irresponsible decisions that do have consequences that I had not at all considered, such as people complaining about barging into private property and threatening with a legal case upon this, which is of course another form of instilling fear which is the same fear we have become so used to reacting in order to comply to the roles we have endowed with a form of ‘superiority’ and ‘power’ over others, such as lawyers

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in the moment when I heard the father saying that he’s a lawyer go into a reaction of fearing consequences if he decides to act upon the situation, not realizing that this fear only comes from the idea of a lawyer and how as a child I would see the lawyers as the defenders of either the ‘bad side’ or ‘the good side’ according to who’s paying them and so, going into later on the whole reaction toward the ‘justice’ that exists in this world where the ones that have the most influences and positions of power are the ones that will most likely decide ‘who is right’ and ‘who’s the culprit’ based on convenience without any real common sense and consideration for the people.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with disbelief when it comes to realizing how a point of ‘calling out the abuse on another’ suddenly turned into a potential consequence for me, without realizing that in this I am participating into fear of ‘what will happen’ but also, neglecting the first point of abuse which is what is the main point within this all which is what triggered all the other reactions which is: animal abuse

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to be angry toward animal abuse, not realizing that animals as every other part of this reality and existence are also part of myself, my responsibility and so it is not to see only as ‘certain individuals’ as the culprits within this, but rather understand the relationships of abuse that we’ve created within the very words we speak, and so within the systems we create with which we have allowed ourselves to be directed and controlled by, just because we had all neglected and not even considered taking responsibility for ourselves and our own creation.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to access the memories of previous moments where I witnessed dog abuse and use that as a way to bash me and say how I haven’t changed at all because I still reacted to the dog being abused, without realizing that in this I am neglecting everything else of myself and bashing me because of ‘failing’ at applying myself within the correction of not giving into anger upon witnessing animal abuse – specifically dogs being abused by their owners – and remaining stable – which is then something that I do not have to feel bad about, but simply see where and how I am still missing that moment, that point of stopping myself from wanting to expose the abuse or take the matter into my own hands, as that is essentially also based on solving the abuse so that ‘I’ don’t have to either witness it or ‘feel bad about it’ or be ‘annoyed’ by it, which is then once again proof that I have mostly only cared about that which directly affects me and that it is within this selfishness that the ‘caring for another living being’ also started.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel better’ about myself after feeding the dog, as if that was going to ‘change the dog’s life’ or reality when in fact I gave it from the starting point of wanting him to shut up and so stopping licking his own feces, which is something that still isn’t entirely based on ‘supporting another’ but rather stemming from me and my need for the dog to keep quiet, which is self-interest.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an authority that can ‘call on’ abuse to others upon witnessing it, without realizing that I haven’t yet become that for myself absolutely and so I am in no way able to be the ‘authority’ toward others and believe that I am ‘doing the right thing’ when my starting point for calling out the abuse is to actually inflict some fear and regret so that they can actually change, therefore I realize that If I create a reaction within people, then there’s less possibility for them to actually listen to that point as they go into defense mode, therefore

When and as I see myself wanting to talk to another about a point of abuse I consider is ‘their responsibility’ I stop and I breathe and I look at how I can approach the situation in a way wherein I place myself in their shoes as well and approach them the way I would like to be approached if  I was the one creating such problem. This doesn’t mean be too condescending either, but simply without the tonality of being demanding and showing anger at them in an attempt to make them feel bad, but rather in a very direct and stable manner point out the abuse, then see if they/we would want to be in the shoes of dogs and so consider that next time they plan on leaving the house – which is then giving context to the abuse and seeing the importance of taking care of animals. I did manage to do this at first but upon seeing their reactions, I then escalated the drama to make them react so

When and as I see myself wanting to see people feeling bad and feel guilty about their actions, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within this I compromise myself upon wanting people to react which in turn I use to escalate the situation by becoming angry ‘at them’ which won’t change the situation at all – therefore I only focus on remaining stable no matter how hideous the situation is, as I now have to take into consideration them, their minds, their ability to ‘get back at me’ if they feel offended as well and so I ensure I do not attack, do not show emotion but simply point out the abuse for what it is in stability.

 

I realize that I might say ‘well they should have known by now how to care about the animal’ but, how many times have I told myself I have to be ‘stable when witnessing animal abuse’ and still fell for the reaction of it and even if I was more stable, still justifying my actions within the context of doing a favor for the owners and the dog and also as an attempt to stop the dog from barking which was the reason why I felt that I could not wait any longer for me to establish proper communication with the owners of the dog.

 

When and as I see myself reacting upon dog abuse /animal abuse,. I stop and I breathe – I commit myself to place this abuse into context and realizing that I have reduced ‘abuse’ to only children and animals, without realizing that it is all our relationships that exist at the moment as they exist are founded upon abuse. Therefore, I commit myself to stop diminishing abuse to a few living beings and instead rather place into context the abuse, how and why it exists, take into consideration other people’s minds, their predictable reactions and really consider all of this before making any decision on what I will do to stop or prevent the situation, otherwise I become part of the chain of abuse wherein my ‘calling out for abuse’ is then seen as an abuse in itself, based on the reaction that I created at the end of my complain, which is how I also realize that emotions will only ever escalate and complicate the problems and offer no solutions at all.

 

Therefore I commit myself to remain stable whenever I witness any point of abuse as I realize that if I react, then I miss out the actual moment to contextualize the point of abuse, see who is involved, assess what I am aiming at doing about it, how I could get potentially affected in a vendetta manner if calling out such abuse and also ensure that as I communicate with those directly involved in the point of abuse, I remain stable and considerate toward their own reactions, their minds, their beliefs, their contexts which I might not be fully looking at, understanding or even conceiving at the moment.

 

I commit myself to mostly practice remaining stable and in self-honesty whenever I hear the dogs barking and wailing incessantly, when children or babies are crying, when loud music is playing as all of these are points that lead to a form of abuse linked to it such as parental abuse with the crying and alcohol/drug abuse with the loud music, which is where I then have to stop judging such habits and behaviors, and instead rather stop my own emotions that are in fact the same source and cause of the emotional experiences and behaviors I am in fact initially reacting about.

 

I realize that yes, any abuse is always self abuse and so reacting with an energetic experiences Is in fact the first abuse – but even if one is stable while ‘calling out the abuse,’ it’s very important to consider the ‘offender’s’ mentality, their possible reactions and also stick to ‘the margin’ when it comes to not getting into people’s houses if not being directly invited in for example and now integrate possible legal consequences within everything that I do as that’s another way in which we have imprisoned ourselves in our system: through a two tier justice system where real crimes against humanity are not even part of the ‘files’ in courts around the world, but have only reduced abuse to the one we see ourselves as human beings being affected by, without realizing that it is actually not about ‘me’ but about everything, everyone, each relationship we form that determines the nature of ‘our ways’ in which we relate to other human beings, animals and this entire world that is equally alive.

 

 

To learn more on how to prevent and stop Self-Abuse, visit:


379. “This World is the Universe’s Asylum”

 

“Ask yourself this: Does mankind deserve redemption for everything it’s done? Is this a world which deserves to be saved? Everything you see around you, all those wars, all those acts of destruction and brutality were caused by the minds of people. We’ve destroyed this world without even batting an eyelid and you wish for us to be saved? Why?
Though well intentioned, your solutions will fail and never be heard; your voice of reason is barely a whisper in this world. How are you going to convince 7 billion people to be compassionate, loving, kind and respectful to one another and the world? You can’t and you won’t. Sorry. We condemned ourselves to this hell hole existence a long time ago. This world is the universe’s asylum. Have fun in the mad house!! Get the 9-5 job, work until your old, watch TV, eat junk food, obey the law. Trust me, this world ain’t going anywhere. It’s here to stay, sadly. You may as well partake in the madness while you’re here. What else is there to do?”
FocusReborn

 

This is a comment placed as a response to the vlog I Want the World to End and it brings up the same mentality that I would have remained in – or probably dug my own grave with – if I had not stumbled upon Desteni and taking on this Journey to Life, to finally shed the skin of apathy and misanthropy that at times emerges whenever I see or read about things that I haven’t yet fully realized are part of everything that is here, myself, no matter how hideous they may be.

 

Pollution - 2003 - Marlenlife

 

To the person that wrote the comment, thanks for writing it out as it has opened up a window of opportunity to renew my vows to myself and this process and explain the starting point of everything that we do, which  is precisely to get past such enslaved mentality of ‘nothing’s gonna change the world’ and only seek and con-form with bits of highs here and there and sit down and feel miserable about every thing that we’ve been and become, all that we’ve created as a world that we rather feel sad, ashamed of, despise or even ‘accept as is’ instead of doing something about it.  This is the kind of message that can only trap you when one believes oneself to be ‘so small, so little, so insignificant’ to create any form of change in this world, which certainly begins with ourselves, our own life.

 

It’s astounding how we discourage each other from stepping out of the (mind)frame, however I understand the individual’s starting point for sharing this and how the origin of such words are not even questioned by the author, I can read no life in it, it’s only a mind speaking for it’s own survival: the resistance to change, the hopelessness, helplessness, conformity, apathy and judgmental behavior for the sake of seeing everyone else on ‘the same boat,’ seemingly lost.  And this is not to be taken personal, as once again, it’s not the potential of life speaking for the individual, but only the ‘who we are’ as the lesser form of ‘life’ that we have become, the de-manned position.

 

The starting point of walking this process is not within the hopes of ‘changing 7 billion people,’ that would be rather disingenuous and not  considering the reality that we are in wherein yes, it will take a long time to change our current human nature, it will take the most effort from each one of us since it is as if we were all addicts of the worst kind wherein our very own lives and this planet’s stability depends on us getting unhooked from very addictive drugs which creates secondary reactions such as fear of changing, apathy, complacency, hopelessness, helplessness, positivity, negativity that I also once experienced, seeing no way out and then simply deciding to ‘jump in the boat’ of the hopeless ones, because apparently feeling miserable about the world make me at least ‘feel good’ and ‘alive’ – yes, it sounds contradictory if one does not understand how the mind operates. Once you get to understand who we are as the mind and decide to stop feeding the constant desire, want and need to FEEL anything – whether positive or negative – you start realizing how puny this little energy-whoring system that we’ve become really is.

 

Robot man - 2003 - Marlenlife

 

However it does take quite a constant and diligent decision to stop seeking the energy, the experience, the ‘thrill’ and instead breathe and direct oneself to what is physically supportive – and yes, that means that there’s no ‘highs’ or ‘bad’ experiences in doing what’s best for all, in moving oneself to become a living example of a mind-addict reformed human being, and that’s why walking this process is so unpopular in our reality – for now – because it provides no energetic payoff that one can feel ‘good about.’ Yet, all I can say is that consequences in our reality are knocking on everyone’s door and I certainly cannot recommend to anyone anything else but getting hands on keyboard or pen and start writing, start straightening up ourselves, start making sense of our own ‘mindful selves’ wherein the usual points of support sought are street or over-the-counter drugs, ad-vices from other people, escapism through alcohol, sex, developing ‘extreme habits’ only to get away from facing oneself…

 

This is the nature of our current selves drowned in a very limited pit that exists as the mind that we have delegated our every-moment of our lives to. And so, the entire ‘mess’ and ‘Universe’s asylum’ that who we are as this world have become is nothing else but a proof, a written testimony of what the majority of us are thinking and acting upon every single day, making of these thoughts our creed. And then we ponder ‘why are we so fucked up???’ while ignoring that the sheer experience one usually has when asking such question with extreme awe is already a 1+ vote to humanity’s  similar thought-patterns and experience – and once again: an experience ONLY exists in our mind.

 

Look at the trees, look at the animals, look at the air: does it show any emotion or feeling or speak about ‘giving up’ or ‘seeing no way out in this world’? Do birds get depressed and tired when the sun comes up and think of rather staying in a branch wallowing in their misery? Of course not. If anything, every single part of this existence is far more aware than a human being, and by all parts I mean animals, plants, nature, every blade of grass and that includes what we consider ‘inanimate’ too – it’s just common sense that everything that is here is an enclosed reality of which we’ve never been ‘outsiders’ from, which means that everything we see and are here is ourselves, our creation. 

 

DSC00604

 

Deciding to jump into the comfort of apathy, disdain, hatred, misanthropy or plain disgust with ourselves as humanity is nothing else but another justification, excuse and distraction to not acknowledge what it is that we are here for: to understand ourselves as creators. Yes, we have even built gods to do the ‘dirty work’ for us and have someone to blame for everything that went wrong,  just because we’ve been so scared to realize and understand that every single atrocity committed in this world is ourselves, and yes, I know, it does get your reactions going on when witnessing some horrible acts that reveal our current human decay, but that’s the whole point of it: it’s about realizing that any atrocity, any thought, word and deed against life is committed by everyone of us each time that we do not act within the consideration of what is best for all, which imply energy-less physical moments of self-direction, self-will, self-responsibility and self-honesty to act in the best interest of all.

 

These are empty words without having context as to how to live them, because they are not part of our inherent programming as to understand ‘How to be self-honest,’ ‘How to learn how to Care for yourself and another,’ ‘how to develop self-integrity,’ ‘how to become self-directive.’ In a world where the word responsibility is immediately hooked on to the usual connotations of fear and resistance, it becomes quite ‘challenge’ to remove the veils and see thing for the potential we all have to change each word into a living expression wherein, in fact,  taking self-responsibility is one of the most empowering things we can do in our reality.

 

Defeated - 07

 

Look at the ‘elites,’ those in ‘power,’ they stand as points of responsibility in our societies and because the rest of us decided to cross our arms, sit and watch TV to be entertained, they automatically got a carte blanche to do whatever they would think about that would provide the best experience, the greatest reward, the most power – isn’t this something that we All participate in as well? So why are we blaming Others for ‘doing bad things to us’ when we think and assess our reality using the exact same mental framework that ‘THEY’ do to commit the ‘BAD’ and ‘EVIL’ deeds in the world – people are nothing else but parts of ourselves we continue to deny as ourselves too, and within this we believe we don’t have any ‘say’ on this world because apparently ‘we haven’t done anything wrong’ but as long as one continues to fear outcomes instead of walking through the solution in the moment itself, we’ll continue to lengthen our process: unless we stand up for ALL life within the understanding that the part that commits all atrocities, all the madness, the neglect, the irresponsibility, the dishonesty, the nastiness is the ‘who we are’ and have become as the Mind – yet, who ‘those’ people are as flesh and bones is no different to anyone of us reading these words and that’s where each one of us has the potential to wake up from zombieland mindcontrol and start realizing how much time and space we’ve wasted in ‘feeling like a waste’ in a world that we’re turning into a wasteland with our own apathy to correct and direct things into its right place, to deliberately push ourselves to become individuals that can be trusted with life.

But again, ‘trusted with life’ seems meaningless and pointless when we haven’t even been ‘alive’ for real, we’ve only existed as automated patterns that we have called our life and within such diminished and narrow-view we then create an equally narrow view of our ‘doomed lives’ wherein we dare to write comments like the guy that wrote that – once again – without even understanding or pondering about the origin of such words and how within each one of us ‘living’ such words, we become the very problem subsumed in the ‘greater problem’ that we’ve made of our reality, due to this accepted and allowed apathetic and dreadful behavior of ‘nothing’s going to change anyways.’

 

Well, I’ve been there done that, and the reason why I made that video is precisely to address and reach out to anyone that feels the exact same way, which is quite common since everything we see around us is mostly the ultimate decay and bottom line that we’re reaching as humanity. There’s no denial of that, however this is about realizing that who we are and have become is nothing else but the worst of the worst, the lowest point that we can reach as a collective, to finally understand how we feel miserable and so create this world as misery because of such thoughts existing within ourselves in the first place. And so, the rest goes on with each word we direct to continue drowning ourselves in our self-created torment in our minds, without realizing that in doing so, we’re doing nothing else but creating excuses and justifications as to why we’re not standing up and taking responsibility for the mess that we’ve collectively created.

 

DSC00528

 

Have we been ‘bad’ as human beings? One only has to see the results of our thoughts, words and deeds and have the results speak for themselves. If we continue to bash us,judge us, blame each other and ultimately lose any sense of respect for oneself and another, we will continue living in our current world that we are all so fed up of, yet we fail to see that the answer to stop recreating the ‘shithole’ resides in our very own hands, in our words, in our actions, in the decision to live and do what gives zero energetic high, but endless self-stability and clarity that emerges with the certainty of being and doing what is right, what is best for all.

 

Fortunately, I’m walking this process to never again allow myself to be trapped in the swamps of the moody mind patterns of ‘this world is going to hell, so why bother doing anything about it?’ and actually deliberately direct myself to investigate, create and support solutions to this world, which at this stage, must come from the realization that We CAN do this if we all give ourselves that initial chance to stop the addiction to feeling miserable, sad, depressed, hopeless, helpless and instead realize that this world is about breathing and doing, not about feeling and thinking, that’s been our whole problem, so let’s stop rambling, let’s rather become part of a 1+ human physical body that decides to live, breathe and create in consideration of what’s best for all, that’s deal reached.

 

We’re not here to save others, we’re here to stand up, face and correct ourselves, and within understanding who this self is, you then won’t require to get entangled with the idea of ‘changing 7 billion people.’ So I suggest: less thinking,  more of self-awareness, developing self-integrity required to do this as a principled living, not as a result-driven thing – this is about making a decision of who one is every single moment, where I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to exist within a limited framework of my mind wherein I have seen the world from the ‘gloomy-scope,’ meaning seeing no way out, without realizing I was only seeing through this thought/emotion filter of mind which I became used to because it was much easier to ‘feel bad’ than stopping and actually doing what is supportive for oneself: to stop thinking, and feeling miserable and instead focus on the potential that exists within each one of us to ‘save oneself’ from becoming another mental patient in the asylum that each one of us reside in when existing only in the mind.

 

So, this world isn’t the asylum: our minds are our personalized one, and as long as we remain complacent to what we think, believe, feel, experience only in our imaginary worlds: the world will still look like a perverted-story of what could have been a genuine paradise. Is it too late? is there salvation? is there ‘light’ at the end of the tunnel? I don’t know, nor do I Have to KNOW as that would only once again be a creation of the asylum mentality that keeps us bound to fear, limitation and neglect most of the times. So, the solution is to act in every moment that we are here and can physically act in the best interest of ourselves and each other, which begins the moment we decide to stop participating in the collective delirium of giving up on ourselves and the world, without understanding first how it only is another trick of our minds that we can also stop and correct to not be shaken again by words, pictures, thoughts, imaginations that maintain us in our schizophrenic reality, separated from what is real here.

 

My voice and that of others walking with within this journey might seem a ‘whisper in the 7 billions in this world,’ but again, trying and change others is not our goal either, it would be cool but we understand how reality and self-change works,  so we can be the example of what it is to be able to shed the skin of limited prepackaged personalities and genuinely learn how to create ourselves, it’s the best process one can ever undertake in this world, yet be warned: there is no ‘high’ in it and that’s the challenge: this process won’t make you feel greater, stronger, smarter or being just the god in your world, and that’s the whole point: to learn how to live as physical beings instead of existing as walking mind delusions on two feet that do not even understand why we follow every single thought that comes in our mind and immediately thinking ‘its me thinking’ ‘it’s me talking’ ‘it’s me feeling…..

 

Mr. Madhouse porter – what else is there to do in this world, in our lives but to get ourselves out of the personalized asylum? Only in insanity would anyone want to remain in a miserable and limited position, so let’s start with developing a bit of care to see what it is that we would really want to live like in this world and start doing something about it.  We all are the madhouse’s porter until we dare to see that the insanity only exists in the mind, not the physical.

 

It wasn't Eve - 07

 

To broaden one’s spectrum of reality:


347. How to Become the Change in this World? Equal Money

How did we shape ourHuman Nature’? We just have to consider how it is that  the 99% have abdicated self responsibility and allowed a 1% to take ‘all the power’ as all the money to control over the majority – only a belief system as strong as ‘god’ could do this, and it is called our monetary system – it is our creation and all the consequences are a reflection of the beliefs we held as truths without a question – it is about time we understand the ‘Missing link’ in our process of Change in Humanity and walk the practical steps to Become the Change that we want to see in this world.

 

Continuing:

 

 

 

Problem                                                                

  • Continuing from 346. Manumission with Equal Money 

    Since the beginning of our time, humans have organized in groups/ societies and communities to ensure that we would always have our survival guaranteed. However, physical force and dominance made it possible for some to create a hierarchical organization where the strongest one would be able to force/ have power over another to do whatever they wanted them to do which would essentially mean doing ‘their job’ for them or else a form of punishment and abuse would ensue. If we look at money and what it has become, it is the representation and reflection of this threat-creating  process in an inverse manner, it is not that if you don’t do the work you’ll get physically or mentally abused, if you have No money you  won’t Have any means to support yourself until you Do get a job and get your ‘freedom’ back. This is the mechanism of slavery and survival that we are all existing in.

 

  • Culture became the  ‘sentimental and emotional’ coercive element in our society to reinforce values, behaviors, belief systems, patterned socialization that could benefit the same economic and political powers in place. This is where we are born into desiring to be ‘rich and famous by having all the money in the world’ and equating that to the purpose of life in itself, while life in fact has no purpose other than existing in a self-regulated and sustainable manner, which is something we have simply not implemented in our every day living understanding of our role within this world system. We turned life into a ‘purpose’ and gave ourselves a ‘reason to exist’ and that was shaped according to the same values and mechanism that would ensure the world system is kept in place – this is where everywhere in our media, books, traditions, religion, family, teachers, in every single relationship that we’ve formed this same patterning exists: we are meant to seek happiness in life but of course, such happiness is not ‘for Free.’  Yet we seek ‘Freedom’ without even being aware of how we don’t even own our own lives the moment we sign the contract to exist as part of a system created by ourselves  to only care about one’s wellbeing, and be a ‘self-sufficient individual’ with no other purpose but to achieve personal satisfactions, while ignoring the relationships of abuse that one has to ‘make use of’ and partake in order to get to ‘make a living’ and furthermore get to such desired superior social status i.e., becoming wealthy, influential and dominant in society, the survival of the fittest crowned and legitimized by everyone as a dream come true. But where in this equation is an equal consideration of this benefit being available and possible or all individuals equally?

 

  • Our Education at school and home is another main tool to ensure that every person is indoctrinated into the ways of the system. This is where we were taught to obey, to be able to perform, compete and be fear driven to accomplish our tasks to get things ‘right’ even if we don’t understand the purpose of what we are learning for is for in practical reality. Everything that would be required to be of practical understanding of how our ecosystem works, how to develop critical thinking, how to become practically skilled to work with the resources and tools that we already have, how to ‘think out of the box’ in order to find more efficient ways of living, how to regard at all times  everyone’s wellbeing, how to sustain the environment, the animals, how to not create special relationships but honor each other as equal parts of the world we live in, how to be self responsible beings… none of this is part of our Education, it is instead the process formation of a complacent slave bound by fear and constant requirement of money to live that makes of our Education the greatest well masked form of indoctrination that we are all required to fulfill if we ‘want to make it’ in this world. Never did we question why it is that all of such knowledge and information is required in such abstract manner with no practical application in our day to day living – yet we regarded as ‘important’ because of having to be graded according to how much we could memorize it or not.

 

  • Every form of knowledge on how the systems that control our lives are created is reduced to pamphlet-like information in our schooling years with no further detail other than an extensive amount of ‘facts’ we are supposed to accept ‘how they are’ and ‘have always been,’ shutting down any other possible ways to change the way things work in our world and research new ways to live and coexist in our societies – this is what Schools should be for, but we know it is not so.

 

  • Our thoughts being that basic unit of interaction with our environment and assessment of ourselves as ‘who we are’ throughout our lives becomes the essential programming that we are constantly defining ourselves by every time that what we think is not what is best for all, every time that we reduce life to a set of experiences that can be bought and consumed, every time that we look forward to accumulate and possess something that we have no idea how it has been created, under which conditions and to what extent the Earth’s resources, slave labor as in bad working conditions, low wages, extensive amounts of fossil fuels were used to distribute the thing, plus all the legal permits, marketing campaigns and retail strategies that ensure the profit making purposes in the benefit of a few – this is what we have become, this is what we are currently fueling by every single product we buy and consume.

 

  • Being Greedy only means that one would participate more in an indirect manner with buying more things, but every single person is equally participant in these cycles of death and destruction in order to make or lives sustainable and happy. This is the enslavement that exists at a thought level transformed into an economic behavior where we certainly lack looking at the consequences of this enslaved cycle imposed onto society. We learned that we can ‘be free’ with money but we haven’t even questioned who taught us to desire more? Who told us that being rich is the ultimate happiness? Who gave us the ‘hint’ that life was all about ‘following your own dreams’ without any other care but our personal satisfaction? Of course, this is the corporate mentality that had to become ‘our living philosophy’ in order to keep the game running for the minority only. Yet we all complied to the game. This is The Trap we’re in, which is also another documentary I suggest watching in order to understand the multiple levels of  control that we’ve existed in. 

    Solution                                                                            

  • Continuing from 346. Manumission with Equal Money

    The solution begins within the individual to get to know and understand the mechanisms in which our mind works, how we have been subject to and subjugated by our own thinking patterns, emotions, feelings, beliefs, ideologies, preferences, religions, culture and any other form of identity including our professions to ensure we would only accept our role in the system ‘as is’ and only learned how to make the most money in it, but never actually dare to question it, which implies that this process entails a recognition of our collective responsibility upon every single aspect that is taking place in this world.

 

  • Now that we are aware what we’ve been participating in our system, how we have managed ourselves in our societies without a question and how we have complained to ‘follow our dreams’ without even knowing what type of agenda such dreams complied to, we are capable of making an informed decision: do I remain as a slave by my own acceptance and allowance, being colluded in a system of corruption where we have money or die or I stand up, take Self Responsibility and ensure that I become the solution that is required in this world?

     
  • Equal Money is all about choosing Life, choosing to no longer be a slave to a system that we have all participated, fueled and complied to believing that we were only ‘taking care of ourselves’ but never questioning who and what was being abused in such process and why we had to ‘fight for our survival’ instead of being supported by virtue of being alive.  This is thus the first step that one take to become part of the change that we require to create in this world: one begins to live and apply the principle of Equality as Life through a Process of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness. This is the only way that we have realized one is able to step out of the brainwashing and mind control that we have perpetuated as our own identities, as our own preferences and ‘human traits,’ because it involves recognizing how we abdicated responsibility to life, our deliberate disregard for one another as equals, our abuse imposed onto the resources that sustain our lives in our deliberate pursue of progress and ‘development’ that was never understood was just another way of ‘redefining’ profit making purposes as our ‘way of living.’

 

  • Self-interest, greed, selfishness, lack of common sense, negligence, deliriums of grandeur, envy, jealousy, competitive natures and abusive behaviors must be deconstructed behaviors at an individual level. This we do through the written process of Writing, Self-Forgiveness to recognize what we have Accepted and Allowed ourselves to be and become and at the same time, write down the process of Self Correction that we determine ourselves to live and apply, ensuring that the end result of this self introspection and self investigation is a definitive Self Corrective living process that always  leads to what is Best for All Life in Equality.

 

  • To do this and ensure one is actually implementing the living principles of Life in Equality, we have also set up the necessary platforms of support listed at the end of this blog.  Desteni is the platform of Individual Support in order to integrate the Principle of Life in Equality to understand how our lives can change, our ‘human nature’ and ‘human behavior’ can change by our Self-Willed decision to no more participate in all the thinking processes, the emotions, feelings, desires, wants and needs that go beyond what is required to live in a dignified manner – this is the ‘Missing link’ that has not been implemented yet in all our ‘World Change Processes’ throughout history. It is about time we let the world know that we got the solution, we got the answers and in this to have a global effect: Each individual’s Self Application Counts.

 

 

Rewards                                                  

  • The process of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness implies ourselves giving our own permission and direction to birth ourselves as life in the Physical. This means that it is a process wherein we individually ensure that each of our thoughts, words and actions stand in the Best Interest of ourselves and All as Equals. We will no longer be born into a system of monetary enslavement, but instead money will become the surety to the means we require to live and we will be able to ensure  that no one is left behind.

 

  • The birth of a new Human Nature gives way to our New Living Behavior where Life in Equality will exist as a stable, reliable and sustainable living environment that sets the foundation for us to honor each other once that we will no longer have to compete and fight for our survival, which will ensue a new collective understanding of what it is to live in equal interdependence and support and how we can in fact learn to love our neighbor as ourselves. This is possible through the Process of Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty where we learn to love ourselves, to develop ourselves to our fullest potential and ensure that we become the living example of what it is possible when our lives are dedicated not only for our own well being, but for everyone’s wellbeing in Equality. This is the Principle of Life in Equality and by living it, Heaven on Earth will be here as our very words, thoughts and deeds directed to generate Life in Equality.

 

Day 349: The Message of Jesus

  • By implementing this living change in our behavior, our actions, our words, our way of thinking, perceiving and expressing ourselves we are able to generate a suitable living environment for all children to be born and integrate themselves to an environment where all they will learn and apprehend as their understanding of themselves, their world and each other will be based in the principle of life in Equality, developing common sense to ensure that all relationships formed, all decisions made, all expression is always leading to a best for all outcome. This will be our collective responsibility to ensure we become the pillars of the future by setting the example of a new human behavior and nature that will always honor life in Equality, where no slaves and no abuse toward life will ever exist – this is what each one of us must take Self-Responsibility for, this is how each one of us becomes the politician, the lawyer, the father, the mother, the teacher, the  authority as life that guards everyone’s interest as our own, because we recognize we are One and Equal.

 

 

 

 

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285. Who Taught us What We Want in Life?

Whatever we have placed as happiness, our ultimate goal and desire has been only the perpetuation of the configuration of a world where Money is God. If I was living in a community where life I about working together to maintain a sustainable environment, entertainment as we know it today would not mean a constant feedback from people and media in order to know and ‘remind’ ourselves what our ‘goal’ and ‘purpose’ as humanity must be, which is often answered with the premise of: one has to be Happy to call this a life, one has to make the most money to make of this life, a life, you have to be able to ‘get what you want’ and money is implied  in this, and if you don’t achieve this – then you’re a failure.

But why didn’t we ever turn the tables to realize that unless everyone is happy as in having all the necessary means to live, then I cannot be happy either? This would have lead us astray from the path we’re so addicted to now, the path of: I only care about my experience and fuck the rest.

 

Who made the rules and who benefits from this? The consumerist mind that we have trained ourselves as can only find itself being perfectly fine and in order within an environment/scenario that views such purposes in life as normal and the ‘general standard’ for humanity. Our mind as it exist now, is the engine that keeps this entire system running within its intrinsic nature of disparity, inequality, debt and dishonor:  being the lie that one has to compete against another to get ‘the most’ of what you’re able to earn in your field/profession, that ‘who you are is what you buy and own’ and accordingly, you’ll be able to sell yourself as the accumulation of your education – which is only available for those with money and willing to make more money – so, this is the premise to understand how we stopped calling a tree a tree and it became another good to exploit and sell and become part of the market where everything that we are as human expression places a price tag onto everything, diminishing life to a set of two single verbs: buying and selling, we’ve become the life-taggers and it all begun the moment we turned life into a good and a service instead of just Living.

 

With this background, it is interesting to see that we value ourselves according to the values that were already set/ in place and never questioned them. Then according to this, we create our sense of lack, our inadequacy, our ‘struggle’ to live that is set as a constant reminder through our advertisement, our talks, our behavior with each other in order to ‘make sense’ of our system that has No Common Sense, because it currently benefits from such constant inner conflict and strife to ‘become superior’ in order to earn more money and buy all the things that we are taught will fulfill our lives/ make us happy- it is self abuse that is supposed to be rewarded at the end of your journey. This is unacceptable, because it implies us having first had the audacity to grab everything that is on this Earth, Of this Earth – including ourselves –  and give it a name and a purpose, and with it a Value. From that moment on, setting up a system wherein we could create an illusion of power as the accumulation of such fictional value that could be rendered as money, and capitalize it/grow it through buying more/ owning more and have the ability to get more just by agreeing on this value, and then get entirely possessed by desiring such fictional value in itself, that everything that substantiates such money becomes ‘the Value’ in itself to trade, to buy and consume and get a Feeling out of it –but where did Life go? 

 

Now, to be able to get such Feeling from things, we have to buy them and consume them or simply Own them. Own says Won and as such, we’ve set our living environment as s chessboard game wherein you either win and get the most, where money is a certainty in your life and no longer a strife, or remain a slave working for money, never having access to that ‘surreal’ idea of being able to have it all. But who said that we should aspire to ‘have it all’? Where in our minds have we gotten so fixated with this belief of being super rich and having access to all the wonders – that are only defined as such through copycat/ monkey says, monkey do mechanisms –  in life through money? It is a ‘cultural’ thing and as such it must be considered as the necessary template of brainwashing in which we’re born into: all our beauty standards, all our ideals of success, all our professions and dreams are now configured to be suited in this one single aspect of making the most money.

 

The trick is that, in a system where not everyone was able to make ‘all the money’ and not everyone as in every single human being having a Real equal opportunity to become a ‘millionaire’ for obvious reasons, the struggle was set to keep everyone running after such elusive dream. If you had no desires, no such aspirations but to be here, be a human that has the necessary to live, that works and contributes to a certain activity that supports your own development and that of your community, wherein simply money wouldn’t have to be ‘the Goal’ that is embedded with greed and a detached sense of self being ‘only an individual’ and forgetting about the fact that we live as a whole, a an organism that is composed of many selfs that make life on Earth possible, and this includes animals, plans, the atmospheric environments and everything that we can call ‘our planet Earth.’  Great – however, what have we done with this single acceptance of life being meant to be successful only if you have money- and call this a certainty and a Matter of life? We have used it to condition our very lives to accept misery and suffering because ‘not everyone can win in this game until  you make enough money to Own such happiness and make more money out of it/ capitalize it’.

 

We’ve set the rules, we accepted the game, we are playing the game. The game is consuming the very life that gives the value to such money – one can’t eat gold or money as paper or metal coins– we have denigrated our sense of being to a non-existent sense of Neighborism that is willing to harm, abuse, step on another, compete in order to win the game, while the Earth as this planet never set such harmful and deceitful rules.

 

We have gone way too far with the game and we cannot continue directing our money to buy more stuff that we don’t need and call that a sign of success, because such ‘sign of success’ was never meant to be in accordance to living a life of mutual benefit with each other and the environment, it was born from abuse and it must end by each one of us considering how much of our lives we have defined according to money? You might end up seeing it is virtually everything that which has been conditioned by money.

 

So the question is why would we want to keep this system as is? How have we turned our natural resources, our ability to work/ cooperate and our skills and talents into money that capitalizes itself to make some have more than others –  quite a vile act that we’ve become, and the process of Self Forgiveness is Here and For Everyone: make a decision to become the +1 that creates a world that is no longer suited in these fixed values and instead, develop common sense to find the real meaning of life, of what it is to be a human being that can enjoy life when working together to create and maintain a new way of living wherein children won’t aspire to be ‘the richest man on the world,’ but an equal human being that supports life and our living environment with his/her creations, that is able to enjoy the daily interactions with fellow human beings that will no longer be tainted by this money-seal of convenience, idolatry, hypocrisy, greed and selfishness.

 

It is up to Us – you and I  – reading to ensure the old traits and ways that we followed to get us here are stopped and ended here, with our own decision to start veering all that we are and do toward this single change, to install and promote a real desire that every child should be educated with: to become the example of a human being that regards Life, his/ her own life as quite a great gift to experience, which will allow the child to realize that everything that is here should be equally given and received, because that is the movement of life, and that way, learning that we can reward ourselves in equal ways for any work that we do that is meant to support and make our living condition possible.

 

Only then can we consider ourselves being alive: our relationship with ourselves and each other will become the real meaning of life, because man is not an island and certainly our future cannot be fixed if we don’t work together: we’re in this together now

 

Join us at Equal Money Capitalism   – Study the blogs reading Economist’s Journey To Life and participate at the Forum at Desteni in order to walk your own process of self-alignment to a mind and body that works as one – not in contradiction to each other – with one single purpose: Equality as Life, living in a system where we Value Life as everything and everyone Equally that is here, and ensure we stop this massive brainwashing that we’ve been told about being ‘the king of the world’ founded upon abusing others that happen to be ourselves as well.

 

The only real desire, want and need every single being should have is creating a system that is sustainable and able to provide for all in Equality as a Living Right, because in that, our happiness is assured.

Join us: Desteni  and Equal Money Capitalism

 

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269.The Inner-Hell creates the Outer-Hell

 

The pattern unfolds the following way: one faces a point wherein Self Responsibility was neglected, wherein we didn’t measure the consequences of our thoughts, words and deeds and as such ‘all hell breaks lose’ within ourselves, because then we are faced with consequence, and we realize there is No way out from it this timeright?

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

Fear Dimension:

I will have to face the ugly truth of myself/ what I have become

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to face myself as the point of neglect that I allowed to develop and exist due to my own irresponsibility toward myself as my thinking processes that lead to a physical consequence wherein now there are manifested consequences that I realize I have to face and as such

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having to endure the consequences and become fearful of facing my reality, without realizing that all the time I had the ability to take responsibility for myself, my words, thoughts and actions – but I didn’t – thus, I realize that fear is a convenient self-experience to victimize myself toward that which I have created without self-awareness – which means that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use Fear as a way to cover up the fact that I neglected my own responsibility toward myself as my thoughts, my actions, my relationships, my own physical body and within this I have deliberately made myself ‘fearful’ to not see and face the reality that I’ve become, which is every single thought, every single word, every single relationship toward others and myself that have now caused a consequential outflow that has damaged myself and others, just because I had not considered what actually caring for myself in fact means.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equally be fearful to face and confront the reality that this world has become, without realizing that this world is the collective accumulation of all individual neglect that I am actually participating and existing as myself – which implies that I cannot blame ‘the state of the world’ for how I experience myself, as I am the one that has decided how to experience myself through and as thoughts, feelings and emotions, never ever realizing that these are the mind-mechanisms wherein we eventually only get ‘drowned’ in our own self-experience and neglect the actual physical reality that is being constantly abused for us to maintain our personal heavens and inner hells, just because we haven’t realized the level of self-destruction that who we are as the mind has become upon this physical reality, which is what we really are/what should be a point of stability for all to actually live.

 

Thought Dimension:

Just vanishing, everything disappearing, me being doing nothing at all

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when facing the consequence of my actions/ inaction and neglect toward my self responsibility, resort to a momentary thought of just wanting it all to end, just vanish and not think and experience anything, which is the pattern of wanting to avoid realizing that: nothing and no one has created such ‘unbearable self experience’ within me other than myself through constantly and continuously only having sought to ‘feel good’ and avoid taking responsibility toward myself and my world – this implies that

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to and desire to escape the mind as all the inner-hell/ turmoil that I have created within myself, without realizing that such inner-hell is in fact only created by the same mind that I have blindly participated in as constant thoughts, internal conversations/ backchat, reactions, judgments, emotions and feelings that exist as the energetic system that I have given attention to, which has now become ‘who I am’ and a such, out of my self-directive principle because of not having realized that Who I Am is the stability of the physical body, and that all the inner turmoil is indicating a point that I am not taking self responsibility for, a point that I have separated myself from and must investigate – but instead, allowed the inner-hell/ turmoil to become ‘who I am’ until it became unbearable that I did Not direct myself toward a solution and allowed myself to be overwhelmed by the consequence, which has now lead me to want to ‘vanish’ and just ‘scape’ through ‘plugging myself out’ through any means such as any substance, activity or person that I have defined as a ‘feel good’ experience, without realizing that in seeking for ‘feeling good’ again, I am only compounding the consequence of the neglect of sorting out that which ‘made me feel bad’ in the first place, which is myself and my own disregard to take actions to align and correct my life in order to function as what’s best for myself/ all equally.

 

Backchat/ Internal Conversations:

– I rather just give up, there is no point in solving that

– It’s done and I fucked up

– I knew this would lead nowhere

– I just want to make it all stop

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use thoughts in order to justify my irresponsibility toward myself and my reality with words like ‘I rather just give it all up, there is no point in solving that’ wherein I have believed that ‘giving up’ is an option I can take and that any point of solution is ‘pointless’ due to me having delegated the responsibility toward myself / my world toward ‘others changing first’ and as such, have used the ‘state of the world’ as a reason, excuse and justification to not take responsibility for myself and create an entire mind-possession of apathy/ depression/ sadness and despair that leads toward a ‘giving up’ self-experience, without realizing how it is in this very experience that we give Into the mind of self-interest, wherein I only then care about ‘How I Feel’ / ‘How I am Experiencing Myself as My Mind,’ wherein one then seeks to ‘feel better’ by using/ consuming/ doing something that will take me to the ‘positive experience again,’ which is how I have neglected to take Self Responsibility at all times, because of having always only been concerned about ‘How I Feel,’ regardless of who and what I am abusing within this.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use self-judgment as ‘It’s done and I fucked up’ which is a recurrent patter whenever I actually seek a form of companion and condescendence for my own created misery and neglect, which is just another form of using words to abuse myself and others in order to cover up and justify my lack of self-direction when it comes to taking responsibility for every single word, self-experience that I have within me – within this realizing that such words as ‘It’s done and I fucked up’ lead to a ‘no remedy’ situation wherein one leads oneself to the ‘bottom of the pit’ which is just another form of self-victimization to not have to face the reality and consequences that I have manifested and participated in equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the words ‘I know this would lead me nowhere’ wherein the fact of Knowing as a conscious awareness of the potential damage/consequences created by myself were deliberately ignored due to me having always sought to feel good/ feel at ease/ do the least effort which amounts onto a series of points neglected/ avoided/ deliberately not looked at/ investigated such as my own thinking patterns that I have fed and created into this ‘unbearable self-experience’ of which I seek to escape from through wanting to ‘give up’ on myself/ life and everything, without realizing that who we are as the physical body does not give up on self until death, and that it is only through a mind possession that we can be seeking to ‘give up’ which indicates that it is who we are/ have become as the mind that is the first point of self-awareness that we must develop and consider in order to prevent these forms of mind-possession to take place.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create the backchat ‘I just want to make it all stop’ wherein the clear self-experience is that of victimization wherein I deliberately seek to ‘stop’ the consequences that I have participated in creating and manifesting every time that I accepted and allowed myself to follow my thoughts, my desires, wants and needs that would not consider first doing/ acting and directing that which ensures my physical stability and stable-sound relationships toward others and myself, my environment – and within this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realizing that within this ‘I want to make it all just stop’ I am only existing as this selfish-decision that is not considering in fact ALL as myself as an actual living organism that I am reducing to a problem in my mind, which I then seek to ‘stop’ and ‘get rid of it’ without having taken a moment to look at myself, my words, thoughts, internal conversations, emotions and feelings that have lead me to create the physical consequences that I am now facing as myself.

I realize that this consequence that we have become is often sought to be avoided and shoved aside, which is what leads us to immediately seek to ‘feel good’ again, to ‘make it up’ for ourselves again, which is unacceptable since it is in fact those same ‘feel good’ self experiences that have lead us to neglect ourselves as physical beings, this world and all the actual living species that are enabling our ‘lives’ to continue, which means that: without the physical support of the Earth in itself, my ‘inner-hell’ would not be able to be fed and I would not exist – which implies that we are constantly abusing ourselves every time that we rather give into this mind possession of ‘not feeling alright’ and ‘wanting to escape’ instead of actually looking at the responsibility that we all hold toward this current world-wide/ global state of crisis that is clearly generated by all of us collectively and as such

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see how ‘how I feel’ and ‘who I am’ as the mind, as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become is defining and co-creating the world outside of ourselves, which is not really separate from how I experience myself in the ‘inside’ as the expression of abuse that I have become as the mind is the current creative force and maintenance of the abusive status quo in the ‘outer-world’ as the current ‘outer-hell’ we have become as humanity within this world, abusing it in order to fuel our mind possessions, which is unacceptable.

Imagination:

Negative imagination: having to spend a long time solving the problem/ situation

Positive imagination: numbing myself out any form of drug/ stimulant/ activity/ inactivity

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my mind and imagination to extrapolate the problem/ situation I am facing as a ‘worst case scenario’ such as having to spend a long time and having to implement a lot of effort to solve the problem/ create a solution to what I have done and become, without realizing that in this process of imagination, I am constructing just another reason and excuse to not move myself, not face my consequence and instead, become deliberately negligent toward myself and my reality, seeking for a ‘quick fix’ to sort it all out, which is usually through using and consuming something that will take me to this positive self experience – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after I have participated in the negative imagination of all the possible outcomes of having to create solutions to the problems I have created and manifested within myself and my reality equally, I veer toward the ‘positive imagination’ such as wanting to immediately feel good again, wanting to consume and experience something that I have defined as ‘good’ and ‘positive’ which is mostly created through any form of drug, stimulant, activity or inactivity as well as relationships that I have used in my world in order to further ‘numb myself down’ and not face my reality and the consequences I am running away from, which is quite pointless and a waste of time if I realize that there is no actual way to ‘run away from myself’ in my imagination, as eventually we all have to face our reality and what we have become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my memories and imaginations as a way to program within myself an immediate way to ‘make myself feel better’ by going from the negative outcome to the positive outcome that I then seek to live-out as my reality, creating further consequences of evading my responsibility instead of actually stopping all participation in the same evasive behavior, place the cards on the table so to speak and ground myself as the physical to start looking at solutions instead of seeking further ways to ‘run away’ from it.

 

Reactions:

-Dread, dullness, apathy, wanting to give up

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a negative self-experience as emotions of dread, dullness, apathy as a general ‘wanting to give up’ self experience that I haven’t seen and realized represent the most common form of self-manipulation and excuse to not have to face oneself and the consequences created by my own negligence and deliberate unawareness, which means that, I have accepted and allowed myself to become subject to my own mind to define ‘who I am’ according to the conditions suiting my desires or not – and if not, I then use all forms of thoughts, internal conversations and imaginations to lead myself to embody this ‘giving up’ self experience, which I then believe is who I am, without realizing that is is only a mind-entity as all words, thoughts, imaginations, memories as patterns that I have diminished myself to be and become, without realizing I am in fact giving my breath/ my power away to fuel these self-destructive self-experiences without creating a solution to actually align/ correct the point I am becoming emotional about – within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how any emotional experience is a deliberate self-manipulation and distraction to not have to face who I am and what I have become as the mind that I have believed is ‘everything that I am,’ constantly seeking to feel good/ be at peace in order to not face the inherent self-experience of being unfulfilled, unsatisfied, not good enough, never getting anything right, never succeeding, looking at the world as one big fuckup and allow all of these thoughts to become a self-experience that in no way are in fact contributing to my own well being and as such are no solution to the collective well being.

I realize that we have always resorted to complain about ‘how we feel/ how we see the world’ but in no way do we even conceive that it is ourselves only that have created this imbalance within and without in our reality, and that the actual beings that are suffering and having to endure the consequences of our mind-possessed decisions in life, are all the animals, plants, environment that we literally consume and abuse to constantly seek a ‘feel good’ point at a mind level, without being aware of the physical abuse and depletion and destruction that takes place within our body as our own physical flesh and without as the Earth’s resources that we literally burn up to generate Energy to ‘feel good.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Justify my experience as this reaction of ‘giving up’ and being in this emotional turmoil without realizing that in being and becoming so, I am Not supporting anyone in this reality at all, I am only supporting further self-abuse of myself and everyone else in this world, as I realize that whatever I accept and allow within myself is not an ‘isolated problem,’ but it is part of that which co-creates everyone’s self-experience as well, because the moment that we are ‘not alright’ within ourselves, all our relationships toward other beings in our world will also not be alright and as such, the entire world is woven and created and stemming from our own relationships that we have neglected toward ourselves first as our own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to go into a positive experience whenever I am ‘down’ which is my self-created victimization state and within such mind-possession, seek to ‘feel good’ and ‘feel better’ through wanting to simply give-up about everything in my reality, wanting everything to just ‘disappear’ which is an apparent easy way out to ourselves and the consequences created, without realizing that I am the only one that has created such ‘unpleasant experience’ due to the relationship toward myself as my mind, my physical body and every other living being that I coexist with, which has never been considered in equality and self support.

 

Physical Dimension:

– Yawning, wanting to sleep, slouching, heavy eyes, tiredness

– Doing something compulsively like pulling out  my hair or cleaning something, going out to ‘get something’ that I don’t precisely need

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to yawn and ‘want to sleep’ whenever I am facing a point of consequence and as such, want to evade having to go through the actual process of self responsibility toward myself and my world

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slouch and have a general self-experience of being ‘weak’ and ‘tired’ which I have accepted as an actual self-experience, without realizing that this is only the externalization of the thoughts and emotions that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become – which implies abusing my physical body and its stability, deliberately manipulating myself to ‘feel bad’ in order to justify further evasion of my responsibilities in my reality, which is unacceptable since it is a physical-self manipulation that is only supporting who I am as the mind and not who I really am and what I am willing to accept and allow of myself as the physical body that is actually Unconditional in its expression as long as I feed myself properly and breathe and exercise and relate to my physical environment in a common sensical manner = considering what is best for myself and all equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a general heaviness in my body when having to confront the consequences that I have become as the outflow of my participation in the mind, wherein having heavy eyes becomes the ‘way that I see’ the world and everything, which is then an indication that I am becoming and embodying a mind possession to not SEE the reality of myself and what I have become, but instead seek further excuses and justifications to escape and evade my reality as a general ‘I am not feeling well’ which is obviously the consequence of who I am as the mind upon my physical body – which is the point of self responsibility to align here.

Consequences:

– Wasting time, having to catch up while I regain my stability, missing out great opportunities of self-change due to giving into the energetic experience of ‘I’m doomed/I’m fucked/ I lost’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience that the consequences are just ‘too great’ and ‘too vast’ to face as what I am as my mind, what I’ve imposed onto my physical body and as such extend such consequence to my physical reality as this world, wherein every problem that we see is the result of us not living-as physical beings that consider at all times what’s best for all, but have become mind-possessed bodies that only seek to generate good feelings, positive experiences at the expense of the world we consume, exploit and destroy in order to generate our personal heavens.

 

I realize that every single moment that I face consequence, it is not a point for me to become sad, go into self pity and self destructive behavior about it but instead use the opportunity to face, correct and align the relationship that I have neglected that has caused a physical consequence within me and my world – this is thus the pattern to  become aware of at all times: seeing this world and all its ‘flaws’ and ‘problems’ not as an indication only of ‘how fucked we all are’ and sink into depression, but instead make a deliberate physical decision to no longer be willing to accept and allow ourselves to be subsumed by self destructive and evasive behavior, because this would only pile up into the already piled-up mess that we’ve created in this world – we are here to stop and make a declaration of who we are willing to be and live as, which is the decision that won’t make us ‘feel good’ such as the rush experienced with any drug as a positive experience , but will generate physical, stable and sound solutions to generate an actual wellbeing for all living beings, where I am certain, no more addictions and self destruction will be sought, since we will all be equally aware of giving and doing what’s best for all in the realization of who we really are as Equals.

 

Self-Commitment Statements to come  –

Further support:

 

 

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Face Thy Demons – Great Support here:


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