Category Archives: Beuys

335. Money in Equal Money Capitalism

“The Equal Money System is not just a re-alignment of our current monetary and economic system – but a complete and total replacement. It will thus not be governed by the same rules and forces as our current system. We have been so conditioned to think “inside the box” that it is hard to fathom and envision an Equal Money System. We easily make the mistake of relating Equal Money concepts back to what we already know as the current system we live in (= “the box”). This ‘drawback’ influences how we perceive and interpret the concepts we hear or read about as we are placing them in an incorrect context. It is thus important to ‘step back’ for a moment when processing information on the Equal Money System and allow yourself to fully grasp what is actually said and not what you *think* is being said.” – Leila Zamora Moreno

Day 49: Resource Distribution: Supply & Demand
http://economistjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2012/07/day-49-resource-distribution-supply.html

 

 

“The Equal Money System is an Equal Life System – it is the message of Jesus applied in a practical way on Earth. It requires each human to give to each other what you would like to receive. It requires each human to love each other as much as you love yourself – as equals – realizing that life is not independent but is INTERDEPENDENT on other life. The Equal Money System will reduce the use of non-renewable energy by 90 – 95% making it possible for the human race to exist on renewable energy – failure to change the system will result in the horrific extinction of the human race, as society will collapse when non-renewable energy runs out. That is certain, mathematically and scientifically. This is one problem that MUST BE FIXED before we get to the end – or we will END” – Bernard Poolman

 

 
Continuing:

 

Problem                                                                 

“Unfortunately money is quite a force that requires consumption -it is like the hangman’s noose waiting for any errant human that dare to not follow the system to pounce and remove all money – yet it is your neighbor that is removing the money, people of your community” – Bernard Poolman 

 

  • Money is meant to be a Medium of Exchange, a Store of Value and a Unit of Account*– however these basic functions have morphed into a highly speculative system wherein Money became the ‘selfish interest holder’ of human being’s desires, wants and needs as a form of self value through the invisible power to pay for/ buy virtually anything that is on sale, enabling people to fixate on accumulating wealth which is socially understood as a ‘Successful living condition’ that gives a certain ‘status’ according to the amount of money one possess.  In this, money became an end in itself, not a means to trade goods and services to satisfy our living necessities, it became a synonym of Power  and control, a drive for humanity to be willing to do Anything in the name of having More money without any regard as to How such power is created+
  • Money is the representation of  polarized/unequal  relationships and interactions between individuals, separated from a physical consideration of each person being Equal to one another and requiring the same necessities to be fulfilled at a physical levels, i.e., vital functions – this is currently not guaranteed for each individual because the amount of money one possess defines who lives well, who struggles to live and who starves to death.

    “There is no greater fear in the world than the Lack of Money. No one fear that as much as they would admit. You think the fear of God is something bad – that’s nothing. You just put money in front of a person to choose between God and Money and they’ll choose money every time. Because they fear suffering, they fear pain. They fear what’ll happen if they have no money because they know – every human being know, God never answer the prayers. It’s money that answer your prayers.” – Bernard Poolman



     
  • The Monetary system is designed to guard and secure the wealth for people at the top of the hierarchical structures in which our system is governed, wherein the people that actually does  the work that generates such wealth are left without an equal share of the profit generated by their labor.The system is designed to support these mechanisms of disparity based on a make-believe system where no common sense as a physical living consideration to one another as Life-Value exist.   

“By the creation of central banks of issue that monetized a country’s people, assets and resources, a monetized debt system is created in which inflation, interest and taxation, along with corporatism as a fascist construct with money, corporations and power concentrated in the hands of the few in order to control government and the money machine has been put in place in almost every country on the planet.  This forces the system to consume energy, people, labor and resources, and again, all for the benefit of the few with the maintenance of an illusion machine keeping the people ignorant and mesmerized by entertainment and public schooling.
Monetary structure should be a method of circulation and facilitation of economic development in a balanced structure that is best for all. But what has happened is what was added in the minds of men to make it create a disparity between people, the conscious choice of a few to make it that way because of their voracious appetite for greed, power, ego and control.” – Andrea Teale

 

  • The belief system existent as Money currently holds no real value other than a mere ‘agreement’ wherein people’s lives or decisions were not taken into consideration to establish its function in our society. In essence, it is a system that works for the minority that made the rules of it and protects it within the cryptic behavior of our ‘economy’ that is nothing else but made up rules and regulations that favor the interests of the wealthy minority to perpetuate power.

 

  • Rich, middle class and poor are defined by it to the extent that we consider ourselves being made by the money that we have instead of  the Equal life that we are made of. Our ‘authorities’ are not governed by principles, but by money which makes us then aware that there is no real state of freedom or free choice, no true autonomy since it is all a fixed system to maintain people within the belief of it having any legitimacy beyond a few people’s interests, which it doesn’t.

  • Money determines who lives and how dies, who wins the elections, the education, the type of food we eat, the clothes we wear, the level of fear of survival we present, the amount of ‘desires’ you can afford, the relationships you have, the  confidence, the certainty, the importance at a social level which means that money rules about every single aspect of our reality And it is Not given to each individual equally.

 

  • Money has become the motivation to live, it’s become a purpose in itself wherein the accumulation of wealth and the pursuit of happiness through attaining even more wealth is what drives people to improve their lives, what ‘challenges’ them which means that as human beings we’ve become coin-operated machines that cannot fathom a reality where you no longer have to strive for a living., which is a deeply embedded belief to the level of the existence of god or some other mighty power that is still ‘unquestionable’ for many.

 

  • Money is the reason for perpetrating Crimes against humanity in every moment since the origin of money is lack, debt, the belief of scarcity, the ability to go to war, kill, extort, abuse, to prostitute oneself, segregation, hate, control and manipulate as an almighty tool that binds everyone to comply to whatever system is able to provide one with a having to ‘fight for our right to life’ and never even consider Why we can’t just give money to each other in Equality, by Virtue of being Alive?Money is tainted with blood and we all use it paradoxically to ‘live.’

 

  • With money we are able to build and buy means to harm ourselves and others – drugs, weapons, entertainment that inculcates the desire to have more money and obtain a certain level of ‘freedom’ with it, another form of pacifying people by believing that they can ‘get away with murder’ if they have enough money.

 

  • We have become servants to money instead of money serving ourselves to live in harmony, instead we harm and abuse through using money as a weapon to justify our crimes with our ability to make a lot of money at the expense of those that ‘need the money’ and are willing to do the dirty work that others don’t want to do.

 

“What is the beingness of man that we kill to live–to make money to compete to be better–to win–why do we allow this nature as ourselves to happen without our directive intervention?” – Bernard Poolman

 

  • Many claim we don’t require Money to create a new system on Earth, however our Human Nature has proved us otherwise, which is why we say that Money is Not Evil, it is the rules and regulations upon which it functions that require to be adjusted to become a tool to support everyone equally instead of doing the exact opposite.

 

“It’s not money that’s the problem, it’s who WE are with the money – it’s so strange that the most obvious is always missed – us human beings are the one’s that run and create this system, now the Venus Project wants to implement another system – without realising that we as who we are created this system in the first place – so, only a system is not a solution – it is ourselves as/with the system that will only bring change” – Sunette Spies 

 

Solution                                                           

  • Humanity’s relationship toward money as a mind-experience of power, control and security must be walked through an individual process to understand how only caring for one’s own survival is the mechanism that has kept our current system ‘as is.’ Equal Money is thus not only an economic change, it entails a personal process wherein each individual realizes the value that exists within all in Equality from which one can draw conclusions on how the current Money System is a mind-created delirium of power that must come to an end as is, since it is only benefiting a minority at the expense of a majority. Humanity’s greed and desires for More will have to be walked in a process of Integrity and the ability to co-work with individuals as Equals to generate the best living conditions possible for All on Earth – No Exceptions.

  • A complete change in the monetary system through democratic means is required, this is the necessary political, economical and social  overhaul of how the system has worked thus far wherein Money must be based upon Life in Equality which will set the new living code of our relationships when considering the physical reality that is common to everyone. This means to learn how to live, to explore our expression and challenge our development within the foundation of making our living condition better for each other in Equality.

  • “A Monetary structure should be a method of circulation and facilitation of economic development in a balanced structure that is best for all.” – Andrea Teale

  • “Money should be directed to allow beings to stand up for self –not to enslave them to a savior situation” – Bernard Poolman

 

  • Money must become a tool to learn how to give to each other what we require to live, to measure ourselves in our consumption and realize that once we no longer require to ‘secure’ our lives with accumulation of wealth, we can stop living to capitalize money and instead learn how to live in actual freedom = no fear of not having money or being extremely limited by the lack of it. We will then live to perfect our living conditions and explore self-expression, something yet to be discovered as  humanity in Equality.

 

 

Rewards                                               

  • Everyone and Everything is valued as Life which means that: No one will ever fear having no means to live, no one will starve to death, be homeless or left without medical attention. No more endless debts to pay, no more losing your home, no more demeaning jobs/profit making activities – instead a real renaissance of our civilization will exist once that money is no longer an invisible binding force in our lives.
 
  • Money Equals Life – and each other as Equals will never again value anything less or more than others – only Equality will be the Principle each one will integrate as a Virtue and Gratefulness that is Visible through cooperating to create a world where all children can be born and safely say that their lives are protected and supported from Birth to Death.
 
  • “I commit myself to a world where All people have Equal Value as Life and to put an end to our current world system where Value as the Right to Life is being hogged by a few and used as leverage against the majority in the quest for Power”- Day 99: Money Votes – Leila Zamora Moreno

 

  • Healthy compassionate, cooperative and self honest  living human beings will be the result of existing in a ‘living mode’ instead of a ‘survival mode,’ wherein one will no longer resort to drugs, crime or any other form of self abuse to ‘make a living, ‘ which will result in a general optimization of the living standard which will be What is Best for All.
 
  • “In the very nature of a being, if the fear and anxiety of survival is removed, the behavior of the group change, the human behavior will change with an Equal Money System. Take away fear of survival and you have the rebirth of a new human being – you don’t need a spiritual practice love, you need to remove the fear in a practical way, nature teaches us a lot if we dare to change the way things are… Equal Money  will bring real joy.” ~ Bernard Poolman

 

 

 

 

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271. Sacred Art: the Key to Understanding Reality

 

When I studied visual arts, one goes through the art history and sees how Art had gotten to a point of ‘divine activity’ at the time when the church essentially became this powerful entity within society that could afford to pay for all the works that all our ‘great artists’ have created and as such artists became equally important along with the meaning/ purpose of such creations, which in this case as we can all see and witness, had to do with sacred art: venerating gods that never existed but in the minds of the human beings that realized they could make profit out of such belief systems.

 

“Interestingly enough, where these ‘Love and Lighters’ should have Transcended this Message and Brought-about Practical Changes in the Physical Reality – they Create an Alternate Reality, and start to Claim and Impose that the Alternate Reality is the ‘Real Reality’, and that the Real Reality is the Illusion. And then End-up Escaping from this Constant-Message, making ‘The Best of What is Here’ and bringing about No Change in spite of Astounding Evidence to the Effect that the Physical World is Real like for instance, Pain, Starvation, Sex, Food, Waste – you name it, there’s So Many Examples that Each One is Subject to that Proves that the Physical is Real and that the Mind Illusion through which One Escape from this Reality, is Not.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

I went to some museums yesterday with a family member that had no access to such ‘exuberant expressions’ of the baroque colonial art that exists in the city I was born in, even though he lives in the same country. To me, these expressions were the ‘default’ type of stuff to look at in the streets where you can this type of architecture everywhere downtown, along with these exuberant churches everywhere completely filled with gold inside and the most majestic type of constructions and sacred art that is revered by all people coming from all over the world to witness what type of ‘greatness’ and ‘beauty’ this is supposed to mean/be.

 

As I was going through these collections of ‘sacred art,’ I realized to what extent this was all a proof of how we have never praised an actual godliness as an actual consideration of LIFE in Equality, but only have revered and deified the sense of value/worth that we have adjudicated to things that are part of this Earth just as anything else – like gold and gods or gold as god- we have all of these objects with gold and we’re all supposed to be impressed by that just because ‘It’s made of gold. I mean, look back within your life-experience when was it that you learned to treat gold as if it was this ‘precious thing’? And as such from that moment on, we learned that having gold in ourselves as jewelry, artifacts, coins or as part of your ‘wealth’ was something that gave you a ‘moreness’ within your personal wealth/money and ‘ownership right’ that gives you a certain status in society – or you maybe were not aware of this all and had no sense of wealth because gold was never around and only found out about it later on in the money-system.

 

Now, link this gold with representations of Jesus/ Saints/ Crosses and all things that have been prostituted to be sold as part of ‘sacred art’ and what do you get? The most ‘exquisite’ and ‘valuable’ items in the art world – why? Have a look at  your great museums, it is only from a century and a half ago that art stopped being linked to a religious association to become more of a supposed ‘self expression,’ and even that has currently once again been diminished to the ‘market forces’ – our other god which is Money -that are also currently determining what type of Art we can consider as ‘masterpieces’ which is usually a meaning of what’s worth buying/selling and what’s not.

 

Well, as I watched these bleeding Jesus’ representations wearing crowns of gold I could not help but laugh at the blatant abuse and stupidity that we have come to cage in these glass containers as ‘sacred objects’ and museum-type of items to admire. Sure, it’s got a whole lot of work in it, but let’s face it: they got to such museum-relic type of status because of:

1. The value we have all agreed to give to gold as this supreme metal godly power = money

2. The representation of Jesus on the Cross/ Jesus Bleeding/ Self-Flagellating Monks and Saints/ Crying Virgins in repent-mode as something ‘sacred’ and ‘godly’ while elevating such ‘sinning’ expressions to something ‘cool’ to have around your “living room” in the 18th century.

 

What a nice way to elevate god/religion to this ‘godly status’ by linking gold/silver to sacred objects, isn’t it?

Now, we can apply the same two points above to virtually everything that we are currently buying/selling in our world. There is always the ‘meaning’ that we give to things – which deals with how we have defined things in our reality, how we value them, how we define ourselves according to that which we buy/ consume/ own and then there’s the ‘market value’ which is the price/money that one has to give in order to buy such thing and trivializing it all according to belief systems, to perceptions and ideals of what we ‘think’ and have become so used to valuing as ‘superior’ or ‘more’ than ourselves, such as the idea of a god in this case and some expression that is shaped/molded to suit the needs of some people to have these objects to satisfy a particular reality-construct of ‘superiority,’ such as what god/religion has become. And in the city where I lived in all my life, that is the ‘platform’ upon which you walk in every moment in the old-side of the city– it is the ‘city of angels’ and just by looking at the art created from the 18th century up to the past century, you can get quite a clear perspective of what has Shaped and Molded the people here, which is a religion wherein the imposition of symbols that denote suffering, that one has created a relationship of ‘guilt’ toward and ‘remorse’ have been ‘spiffed up’ to be made by slaves that dealt with ways to shape gold, silver, ivory, ‘precious metals’ and woods and stones to elevate Christianity/Catholicism to a capitalist-golden status upon this world-system.

 

So, in looking at this type of ‘sacred art’ one can see a very interesting configuration of what we have come to value: a bleeding ivory representation of some human carrying an ebony cross with incrustations of jade, ‘beautifully’ shaped  – all these paintings of saints with suffering faces, all these representations of Jesus wearing golden robes and gold-crowns ‘in heaven’ I mean, really? Do You think that Jesus had anything to do with implementing this narcissistic self-marketing image of himself with such vain attributions to a single metal like ‘gold’ signifying the ‘godly’ in him? No, in the first place he didn’t ever even want to be summoned as some type of higher force on Earth, everyone got it wrong, and all of this museum-type of artworks are the result of slaves that are only recognized as ‘anonymous’ in the creation of such ‘sacred works for the lord,’ a lord that only exists in the well-kept treasury of what has become one of the most wealthiest states on earth as the Vatican. Really, I have become so used to seeing people that can have an empty stomach and shoe-less entering these opulent baroque filled with gold rock constructions to pray for them to have some money to eat… what’s wrong with this picture!? And this is seen as ‘Devotion’?  Come on, give me a freaking break.

 

Expression of any form/kind must be an actual representation of who we are as living beings, which implies that no more gods/deities will be shaped with matters of the Earth that we are abusing to create this ‘pile of shit’ as our current world of ‘marvels’ while kids starve. Instead we will always use what is here in order to enjoy ourselves within the process of creating something that we can appreciate as an extension/expression of someone’s moment/time in their lives, and I mean, if there is something I appreciate in my reality is exchanging works of art for no money but the sheer appreciation we have for each other’s works – that’s what actually should matter: making of expression an available activity for all beings equally as we are all human beings, we can all develop skills that can be shared with others, just the same way that we share our words here or in videos or communicating with each other – we do not ‘sell’ our coffee-shop talks wherein we share with one another ourselves, so why have we created this world in a way wherein we have elevated what is of this Earth to a godly/golden status for profit? That’s because of Self-Interest and the belief that we could be gods/more than others through our money and ownership power –

 

All of this will all be regulated and implemented in the Equal Money Capitalism in order to Finally place a nice Stop to all of our godly delusions and instead, learn how to Live/Coexist and really Thrive within the realization that there is no such thing as god, there is no such thing as ‘higher powers’ endowed to a metal like gold or any other holy-belief endowed to human expression, it is ourselves, our work, our creativity that which should be regarded as honorable and the real capital in this reality, just as Joseph Beuys said: “Art = Capital, Creativity = Capital”  and Capital = Life as we say – full circle.

 

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There are more threads to this type of ‘sacred art’ and I’ll continue talking about that

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To understand to what level we have prostituted Jesus and his message:


74. “You’ll need to Suffer to make any Real Art”

 

When I was a young around 7/ 8 years old, my sister was in her nationalist era and she had several poster-paintings by Frida Kahlo in her room. Whenever I would go in there I would remain in awe looking at those images due to the content/ expression they represented as a lot of suffering – Frida crying, blood, self portrayals of her physical discomfort and all of these surreal passages that got stuck within my mind. I was actually quite ‘sad’ when she took them down because my mother thought it was ‘too depressive’ to have those paintings in her room, ‘too gory’ and ‘too much of a negative energy’ for the room.

I had not realized how these paintings became a platform to ‘build my expression’ due to the extent that they ‘awakened’ my emotional patterns, the desire to experience the same she was portraying in her paintings, it made me ‘feel alive’ which is how I began to identify that desire to ‘suffer’ and ‘feel pain’ in order to ‘create great art’ like that, and be able to ‘express’ something as meaningful as she did. Of course I got to know her story of actual physical discomfort due to her accident, which I simply used then as a way to think that I had to suffer, create some turmoil in my life to be able to depict it through paintings and get to be ‘as good as she was’ at it.

I began creating these ideas and relationships in my head that I could use to Create what I deemed were ‘similar experiences’ of pain and suffering – this was back in 2003 as I described in my previous post – just so that I could paint something like her paintings. Couple of years later I read in a book a quote that really got stuck in my head ‘True art comes from suffering’ – or something along the lines, and that confirmed my idea that ‘I wanted to be an artist because I could ‘feel’ such torture in my being,’ lol – which was actually built and self-created from a much earlier stage in my life – 7/8 years old – and only confirming that or believing that I had in fact ‘found my place in Art’ when reading such quote 10 years after the initial ‘imprint’ of this desire to create in an emotional state.

And so, the specialness aura goes for debunking through Self Forgiveness.

Pattern: Believing that great art is only existent if it evokes an emotion within me and others

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that art could only be ‘great art’ if it evoked an emotional experience within me and others

 

Self Forgiveness Statements

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be haunted by the Frida Kahlo paintings in my sister’s room specifically because of the suffering, sadness and pain they portrayed, which caught my attention to the emotional depiction of sorrow, pain, suffering as something that I could experience while looking at them and within this, feeling ‘alive’ when looking at paintings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop an attraction to this particular depiction of human emotions through images depicting blood, pain, tears, the human physical body in pain and through that, creating the foundation of an emotional state that I would allow myself to to experience whenever I would go into my sister’s room to look at the paintings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself as being attracted to the depiction of pain and sorrow in paintings, wherein I started valuing images depicting such emotional states as ‘great art’ and within that, me wanting and desiring to be able to paint similar topics to evoke the same emotions in others, the same way Frida’s paintings were evoking within myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within this fascination/ attraction for the paintings and the experience that I was obtaining from looking at them, start thinking that ‘someday I want to be a painter just like her’ – wherein this single thought became a desire later on as the years went by, which I eventually consummated when opting to finally study arts.

 

I realize that I made that decision from the Experience that I got which was linked to fascination, mystery and a vicarious enjoyment of staring at a painting that depicted suffering/ pain/ dismal view upon the world which I recognized as ‘my view of the world,’ yet it was simply the energetic experience that I was truly drawn to due to and because of the emotional body ‘awakening’ to these paintings and beginning the identification of myself as such emotions, as an experience that I defined as ‘preference’ and ‘kinship’ to the painter, without realizing it was just the mind finding its ‘source’ to generate emotions from a visual interaction with paintings depicting such emotions.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within this acceptance of myself as emotions, start thinking and believing that ‘I have to be an artist’ because of thinking that ‘not everyone would get the same experiences I did’ when looking at art, which was only due to and based to the accumulation of self-talk throughout the years to ‘find a taste’ on art because of the associations I started giving to Art as a ‘superior human activity’ in my mind – hence using it as a way to value ‘art’ more than any other human activity, to justify my eventual decision to ‘be an artist’ simply because of the curiosity around creation and the Experience that I would get from looking at art, images, video, etc.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be a painter just to be as ‘famous’ and ‘well-known’ as Frida, because she got to be a world-wide known persona and that’s what attracted me the most in terms of being a famous person.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire creating images that could instigate the same emotional side that I got from looking at Frida’s paintings to other people, so that I could ensure that I could ‘touch’ people through paintings/ images, within this

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be fascinated by someone that was so ‘filled with emotions’ and being apparently ‘mysterious’ as she was, due to her tormented life which became a trigger point for her creations.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feed my mind with thoughts of ‘fascination’ whenever I would be in my sister’s room and stare at the images for quite some time, trying to almost ‘suck’ the essence out of the pain and sorrow they represented and use it as a way to ‘make my own art’ which eventually influenced what I did without me wanting to openly admit it, because ‘hey, I have to be special!’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deny admitting or fear admitting that Frida Kahlo was one of my influences because of how ‘popular’ she is in Mexico and me wanting to be ‘unique’ and ‘special’ as ‘an artist,’ which I thought that when naming Frida as an influence, I would be tagged as cheesy or predictable – hence I kept it ‘hidden’ and always naming any other artist as ‘influence’ just so that I could remain in an apparent ‘safe zone’ of influences and not going for what seemed ‘obvious’ only in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that Frida’s paintings were a ‘great influence for me,’ wherein the idea of ‘influence’ is still used as a way to not directly accept that I in fact just wanted to be like her and experience myself the same way she did as ‘that made her create great art!’ without ever really measuring what it would be like to be living in constant depression, sorrow and pain as the emotions that I would get and imagine her experiencing when looking at her paintings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to from the moment of being in my sister’s room, looking at Frida’s paintings, create this ‘special moment’ of me staring at a work of art with a predisposition to ‘get something off it’ as an experience, and the more I was able to get any form of ‘empathy’ such as depression, sadness, chills or any other energetic experience, I would use as a measuring point to say that the artwork was ‘powerful’ and ‘great’ and if I didn’t get any emotion/ feeling from it: I would say the artwork is not good/ bullshit.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to link the creation of emotions whenever I looked at art/ paintings/ music videos and any other image that I could use as a way to ‘feel alive’ through generating emotions and feelings from it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define being emotional and mysterious as being a ‘superior being’ that is more ‘sensitive’ toward the world, when in fact it is no different to any other being existing as the mind, generating emotions and feelings instead of just Living here as breath – within this, I realize that I have pondered artists and creative people that are well-tormented as ‘superior’ because of how I programmed myself from that early age to associate being emotional = being alive, being more aware, being more ‘in touch with yourself,’ which is just another excuse for me to validate my career choice and entire personality as in wanting to be and become ‘an artist.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take the judgment of my mother toward Frida’s paintings on my sister’s wall as being ‘too sad and gory’ while making a gesture of disgust as a ‘good idea’ for me to do something that would deliberately vex her, disturb her, which is linked to an entire process that I’ve realized fairly recently due to the Heaven’s Journey To Life  blog how there is this friction relationship with the mother from the time of inception – hence this event was just part of me creating a point of friction toward her, to deliberately ‘shock’ and ‘disturb’ her, as a way to get out of the ‘cookie cutter pattern’ that I thought she wanted me to remain as/ impose onto myself because of being ‘her daughter’ – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to like the idea of me doing something that would disturb my mother in a shocking way, as a statement of saying: I am not like my sisters, I do not have conventional preferences, I step out of the family mold – which is how through becoming the entire ‘eccentric’ role, I fed my self-belief as this art-lover more and more as that meant separating myself more and more from having to continue/ follow the steps of my sisters as what I deemed being ‘normal, ordinary, conventional’ in a derogatory/ inferior way, wherein I had placed the eccentric/ odd/ mysterious/ emotional in a superior place in my mental value scheme toward the world and people.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to from the moment of seeing the shock and impact that images would create and instill in my mother to the point of her asking my sister to take them down, to then use paintings as a way for me to ‘go against her flow’ and create shocking images just for the sake of secretly vindicating my desire to vex and disturb my mother, even if I ‘hid’ most of those paintings from her, even till this day –

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the entire play-out of events from this moment on defined my desire to paint something that would be ‘eccentric’ and disturbing as a way to make my mother react or be bothered, and get a kick out of it – with no reason or purpose but that initial primordial relationship of mother/ daughter that began from the moment I was inside her womb.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted an allowed myself to choose a career just for the sake of wanting to ‘step out ‘of the mold that I believed I was being imposed with, and in that desire to ‘spite my mother’/ family structure, I opted to study something that represented ‘getting out of the family mold,’ without realizing that the only one I was fucking with was myself, as I would have to live with that decision based on all of these emotional and relationship play outs in my family that I defined myself according to.

 

I realize that the only one that is now living the consequences of such decisions based on experiences is myself, and it has nothing to do with the paintings, the painter, my mother or sisters, but only myself and my own mind as the definition of who and what I wanted to be and what I did not want to be ‘for others,’ not even for myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within spiting what I perceived were imposed decisions for my life from my mother, I took the ‘opposite road’ in order to ensure that ‘I’ could decide for myself, wherein I simply took the opposite road to spite them and separate myself from them, without actually realizing that the decision I was taking was for me and my own life and that the only one that would have to live with such decisions was myself, and that I was the only one that would have to live with it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see that in my desire to ‘spite everyone else,’ I only spitted myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to elevate art to the status of being something ‘eccentric and unique’ which fueled my desire to not be ordinary, to be ‘out of this world/ out of my family mold’ and within that, be ‘abnormal’ from the ‘normalcy’ that I had judged as pathetic and predictable, without realizing that we have all always been predictable as the mind patterns that work in mechanical ways wherein I was never really aware of me when living out those choices, but was only following a systematic pattern of creating friction and opposition in order to establish my self-righteousness over common sense in my life, to only fuel my ego.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to begin painting with the desire to be emotional to have something ‘great’ to paint, and to evoke the same experience in another when looking at it, which is what I defined as what would make a painting ‘famous’ and ‘liked’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start seeing emotions – in a lesser manner also feelings – as a way to make a painting ‘come alive’ wherein I started believing that the emotional way I was painting in would define a painting s either successful/ not successful based on the reactions that others would be able to obtain from them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘feel alive’ through paintings, associating this with having to be sad, dismal, depressed and angry at the world, which is how I would allow myself to reinforce emotions through words, pictures, ideas, thoughts, lyrics, books in order to gather ‘enough material to work with’ as an emotional experience that I would define as ‘feeling inspired’ to paint and portray that which I wanted to say in order to leave a ‘mark’ of my emotional state for the world – creating an entire mythology around my own paintings as something special.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to think that because I didn’t have much to be sad about, I had to start creating my own sad stories and beginning to yearn for love and relationships, as that was another topic that I saw could generate a similar experience of ‘hopelessness’ and ‘dullness’ that I could express through images/ pictures according to how I would go tagging my reality as sad/ dismal and portraying that as paintings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into depression and deliberately triggering thoughts/ using images to create these emotional experiences because I defined that I could only be alive and be ‘sensitive enough’ just like an artist/ Frida, to create any good work of art.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could only create art if I had a ‘broken heart’ or a yearning for a relationship, which are the points that I fueled in order to paint.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start looking at this world as being damned and shitty, as a thought in my mind just for the sake of making of that thought a painting that could make me ‘feel’ like I as this sensitive person to what was going on in the world – hence making me special in my own eyes and wanting to be special at the eyes of others = the desire to be an eccentric unique being.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to start seeing everyone as sad and dismal and slaves, which became the actual filter with which, till this day, I have been walking in order to not constantly feed the same pattern that I created in order to fuel my ‘creative abilities’ when using emotions as a trigger point for me to paint. This implies that I began seeking for the ‘negative experiences’ as a way to make myself feel ‘better’ about myself and feel ‘good’ whenever I could create with using such ‘emotional states of being’ as a source of ‘inspiration.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe then myself to be ‘too sensitive for this world,’ wherein I simply took the idea of ‘an artist being a more sensitive being’ wherein in my mind, being an artist and being sensitive meant a more ‘evolved’ human being, a more ‘humane’ being without ever realizing what emotions were really all about until now through what we learn and educate ourselves with at Desteni.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into believing that I had a ‘gift’ to represent emotions in a touching manner through my paintings/ images/ drawings/ pictures, which became a point that I held on as myself, as if I was special about it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to talk myself into desiring a relationship, instigating any form of problem and friction within myself to have something to be sad, bothered, angry about in order to paint.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe in the sentence ‘True art only comes from suffering’ from Palahniuk’s books that I took on as a creed, and that I used to fuel my desire to have experiences in order to have something ‘meaningful’ to paint, which is how I would judge then what ‘good art’ and what ‘bad art’ was based on the amount of emotions and feelings I could generate/ get from looking at art, without realizing that I had programmed myself to act and believe that this was actually ‘so’ within itself which means: there was never ever something ‘special ‘and ‘unique’ about it, other than my obvious self-brain washing in a desire to be special.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain within the belief that ‘I had to be inspired to create any good art’ which mean ‘I had to be experiencing an emotion – preferably – to make any good painting, and that if I was rather ‘happy’ or in a positive attitude, it would mostly not be a good work of art, but only a spoof of reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the sadder I felt, the better the painting would come out to be, wherein I would deliberately begin painting when I thought that I was sad enough, angry enough to do so.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to continue with this pattern of believing that creation required myself to be in a particular emotional way to generate emotions within others and within that, make of ‘my work’ something ‘great’ due to and because of how I had believed that only great works of art stem from feeling sad, experiencing sorrow and depression, which became a state of being that I deliberately sought in order to ‘make great art,’ without ever realizing I was only manipulating myself in order to fit my own ideal of what ‘great art’ is supposed to be.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements

 

When and as I see myself believing that ‘great art’ is that which is able to evoke an emotional experience within me and others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I programmed myself this way from the time when I got an experience from Frida’s paintings that became the ‘blueprint’ for me to establish what is ‘great successful art’ and what is not, wherein through this value system I simply accept myself to be an emotional-robot that can only feel ‘alive’ if being ‘emotional’ in any way as a state of being.

 

When and as I see myself believing that being an artist is being a ‘special unique being’ and ‘sensitive’ toward the world, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in art the emotional and feeling bodies are used to give further meaning to just images and things in order to perpetuate the idea of the human being a sensitive creature, which is in no way what we really are as the proof of what our desire and drive for experiences is Here as the consequence of this absolute self interest wherein we can do ‘anything’ jus to ‘feel everything’ even if it means depleting the earth’s resources in the name of a feeling/ emotion, abusing ourselves, abusing life and simply perpetuating a monetary system that in no way is supporting LIFE but only the human as experiences within emotions and feelings that keep us all occupied in our minds and neglecting the reality that is crumbling down every step that we take to fulfill our ‘dreams’ instead of acting and caring to consider what is best for all instead.

 

When and as I see myself being drawn to pictures that depict sorrow, suffering, blood, tears, sadness, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I programmed myself to develop my ‘emotional side’ as the mind within looking at such images, in order to ponder emotions as ‘living’ and equating them to a ‘higher level of consciousness’ due to the belief that I held toward ‘emotions/ feelings’ being the actual ‘core’ of being a human being as in ‘being alive,’ yet absolutely neglecting the consequences that such feelings and emotions had on a physical level in every body, but only going for that rush as the actual energy that I would create whenever I could become emotional, just like a drug that I could generate through my own thoughts and my own images to reinforce such thoughts

 

When and as I see myself believing that I ‘chose my career’ based on my ‘affinity with art and life’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this was just the result of me talking to myself to become someone eccentric – as I deemed artists to be – and within that, doing everything that I could to emulate the lives of beings that were artists so that I could be ‘one of them’ by identifying myself with their emotional experience and existence, which I defined as ‘living’ and being a ‘more aware being’ which was never really so, but only a highly ingrained belief system wherein I believed that an emotional being was ‘in touch with themselves, ‘when It was only being in touch with the mind as self, but never self aware as the totality of this world – without realizing that artists, just like any other human being, are only infatuated with their own thoughts, imagination, emotions, feelings, which is no different to any other being existing in absolute self-interest and self-obsession – thus

 

When and as I see myself seeing an ‘artist’ with this aura of ‘specialness’ when compared to other ‘normal’ beings, I stop and I breathe. I realize I am perpetuating my own mindfuck toward art/ artists being ‘special’ and ‘unique beings’ which is why I sought to be ‘one of them’ when deliberately wanting to ‘identify’ myself with artists and their lives.

 

When and as I see myself looking at a work of art with the desire to get an ‘experience’ out of it, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the reason why art is ‘art’ is because of reinforcing the emotions and feelings of people – instead I can direct myself to see how I can use art as an effective way to instigate the realization of us human beings being responsible for this world and this Earth as each one of us, which is a more tangible way of using images in the name of Self-Support as Life, and not as mere instigators of emotions and feelings as ‘human nature.’

 

When and as I see myself wanting to make a decision in my life based on the desire to oppose my family/ the world/ ‘normal people,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is a basic mechanism that I have used throughout my life to generate conflict and separate myself from others in means of keeping me as ‘special’ and ‘unique,’ which is in fact just another egotistical way to ensure that ‘I’ remain special/ unique within the ‘artist role,’ instead I realize that all decisions I make must be considered within the outflows and consequences of the entirety of ‘who I am’ in that moment of decision, taking all into consideration wherein I ensure I am not opposing something/ someone, wanting to ‘avoid’ or wanting to create an experience within me as ‘living,’ – but instead direct me to consider the practical, physical and tangible steps to walk that decision that will be founded upon the consideration of what is best for all life, what is it really required to be and be done in order to establish LIFE in this world.

 

I realize that I had only sought to be and become this profession to indulge in my egotistical personality, my desire to be special and unique – instead of ever really considering what can I be and become in order to be an actual participant that takes on a position within reality to change the world that I judged for so long, and daring to first walk that process myself which is what I am now walking as my own correction to the decisions I made based on opposition, retaliation in my own mind to create a sense of superiority toward ‘the rest of the world,’ trying to ‘not be of this world’ by ‘being an artist’ and creating an aura of specialness around me.

 

When and as I see myself desiring to ‘not be like everyone else’ I stop and I breathe, I realize that this is the mechanism that we all accept as ‘normal’ within ourselves, but is in fact the basic platform from which inequality stems, because such statement implies: I want to be special, I want to be ‘more’ than others – hence allowing an entire system that enables such ‘specialness’ through the value given to different professions and skills that can actually be equalized for all if we stop holding anything as more or less than who we are as one and equal. Thus I see that the equalization of myself as life begins with stopping one single thought as a desire to ‘not be normal/ ordinary.’ I direct myself to stand as one and equal as the totality that we are wherein there can be no more and no less, but only self-expansion from the confinement of a mind that seeks to be ‘above others’ into the creation of a reality that I can in fact contribute to be supportive for all equally, and in that, supporting people’s expression to be artists and create themselves as the individuals that we all can be if regarding ourselves as life in Equality.

 

I realize that the reason why I considered art as some ‘unique’ and ‘special’ activity/ profession in my world, was because of the fame and aura of ‘specialness’ that artists would get, which became my actual desire to be and become an artist for such desire to be recognized and praised as some ‘great creator’ only to fuel my ego and desire for specialness, which stems from an actual inferiority and sense of ‘lacking’ such wholeness/ completion as myself as my physical being, but believing that I had to seek to be ‘more’ than myself as who and what I’ve been and am and will be until I die: my physical body here, breathing.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I can only create when I am feeling ‘emotional’ in any way – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is the reason why I believe that ‘I do not want to create anything’ just because I have not been as ‘emotional’ as I used to, wherein I have stopped having this desire to ‘create’ because of the link I created between art creation and emotional experience. Thus I direct myself to create without thinking that I require to be emotional/ inspired to do so, which is then me creating as a moment of expression within myself that does not require to be backed by an experience, but can be directed as the moment in common sense = considering what’s best for all as a creation that is not fueled by emotions or feelings, but only externalizing the expression of myself in any given moment that I direct myself to do so.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to get positive feedback on my creations as a way to ‘know’ that I have ‘touched’ them in any way, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am trying to make of art an emotion/ feeling instigator instead of actually supporting myself and others to stop the mind and get back into the physical reality that does not require feelings or emotions to be and exist – hence I direct myself to use pictures, images, paintings in common sense to give them a new meaning based on what life is, what life can be if we all work together to actually create a world that’s best for all, wherein the only role that art can take is the creative process in itself wherein we all realize ourselves as our own creators and within that, being self responsible about such creations in order to ensure that we are in fact considering each other in every moment of creation, and stop creating as a means to elevate our egos –

 

I commit myself to stop any aura of specialness toward art, and simply accept it, see it as any other form of expression coming from a fellow human being that is valuable just for the part of this reality that it represents, without seeing it as ‘holy objects’ or ‘special objects’ in my world.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System that will ensure that dreams of fame and fortune stop being this constant fuel for the desire to be special and unique within beings, but instead become an actual point of support to ensure that all beings can learn how to express through art if they want to do so, and have no restrictions based on time, survival or any other form of belief of what is art/ what is not art – but simply using materials to create as a way to get to know ourselves through our creations, be able to reflect about reality in a self-supportive way wherein emotions and feelings are no longer in the way but we direct the work to be an actual representation of the realization of who we are as one and equals as life.

 

 

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66. Holy Fetish: Money as Word of God

Money as Language is a set of arbitrary words/ values imposed onto reality. This ‘social agreement’ was never based in the consideration of what’s best for all life, not everyone was counted in. We ‘agreed’ to separate ourselves as word. There is No physicality whatsoever that can back up the reason behind a particular word or physical value adjudicated to money itself.

 

Hence, because there are No Fundaments upon money itself/ words, changing their current functioning and value. Whatever we have agreed as an arbitrary group of signs to communicate – words and money are equally forms of communication – we are determined and bound to such rules in such arbitrary arrangement. This is the foundation of our ‘Rational World.’ What have we done with ‘Rationality’? We have pondered it as our greatest ‘asset’ as species – really? Are we or are we Not bound to the language we speak as the meaning of the words being the actual creators and definers of our reality? Isn’t money currently the greatest headache in every human being’s mind – including those ‘wealthy ones’ that are also now fearing to lose it all? How is it that our ‘Rationality’ became our greatest demise? We stopped questioning WHY and HOW we created a mind-made arbitrary and absolutely planned system that could only benefit some at the expense of others and call it success, power, ‘achievements.’ Really?

 

The only way that we will be able to CHANGE this current system is through Words – Money is a Sign/ Word in linguistic terms wherein its ‘Holiness’ can only stem from an imposed set of premises as ‘rules’ and ‘regulations’ that we simply accepted ‘as is’ – just like we come into this world and learn that the word ‘Mama’ represents the person that brought you into this world. This is the level to which Mind Control should be debunked.

 

Money as a Sign

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see Money as a concept equitable to God wherein Money gives the ability to get/ obtain that which we require to live, which should be unconditionally given to All in Equality, but we have a.greed to create a system based on holy-laws and holy-values that are seemingly ‘untouchable’ and ‘unquestionable’ as if it was the primordial master-piece of God’s creation that cannot be change and re-assessed, which is equal to how we came to believe the concept of God to be in any way ‘real’ in our reality – equally intangible as money does Not represent Life in Equality in any way – hence it is a false-god and as such equal to any other concept of God used to control and subdue the masses in means of ‘power over life.’

 

Any god stands in the way of Equality as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money is a medium and a tool for exchange of goods and services, without ever pondering if such ‘tool’ was available equally for all within the common sensical realization that: every single human being requires ‘goods/ services’ to live – hence, within the acceptance of this ‘tool’ not being readily available/ given to All human beings in Equality = I accepted and allowed Money as a Weapon to dominate, control and have power over others through denying unconditional support for them, and only placing Money as a reward for work, which became a synonym of survival and not Physical work to sustain ourselves and a community to live from and of what the Earth gives unconditionally.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed Money to be the sign and symbol of power as if it represented any real-physical tangible piece of reality in itself, without realizing that Money as a Word/ Concept/ Signified contains only an image/signifier based on paper, metals, bank notes, plastic cards, chips that in no way hold a physical tangible part of reality that is ‘worth as life,’ but instead it is worth according to a ‘language’ with its own Logic called economics and finances as the monetary system’s self-created rules and regulations that we came to accept ‘as is’ without ever questioning if such values in any way represented Reality as Life, and its existence for all beings in Equality as a basic foundation of such Logical System of Values created by man himself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed Money as a ‘social product’ of agreements and premises that in no way were based on making of money an actual communication tool in Equality for all beings, as the giving and receiving of what is of and from the Earth that is unconditionally provided for all to live and have a dignified life in this world. Instead, I allowed a system that would disable a great part of humanity from being able to be part of a symbiotic relationship with the environment, placing them into a ‘lacking position’ as in having no-money wherein those that ‘do’ have money can exert rules and regulations wherein those with no-money can be exploited in means of their own survival/ calling it ‘work,’ which is only a premise that we accepted as ‘Real’ and ‘Rational’ according to the imposed logics behind language and the concept of money itself.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that Money as a concept exists in separation of myself as one and equal, for it signifies the very separation of Equality through the creation in itself of arbitrary values imposed on reality that I never questioned because ‘it was already here/ it came from the past’ – hence accepting money as ‘tradition’ in our human culture, only arriving in this world to learn how it functions, adopt such conceptual values in separation of myself as ‘real’ and comply to the system, never questioning it further because, just as language, we have place it in a holy-position as if it can’t just be questioned, altered or changed due to its ‘godly-forces’ behind it, wherein we simply accepted the Monetary Belief-System as ‘real.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed Economy as the rules and set of guidelines that dictate the way money exists as a Monetary-System that is flawed in its roots by deliberately negating the physical relationship that should exist behind money and physical reality, which is what has lead us to our current demise wherein Money as that symbol of power and abuse over Life, its taking its toll on the actual physical resources that are Not able to be replenished/ renewed – including animals and human lives as well – which means that we are walking the consequences of accepting and allowing the Money Belief-System as the almighty power over Life/ God which is now leading us all to an imminent destruction if we don’t Stop complying to this belief system and actually Change its rules/ order in a way that it considers All Beings Equal as Life, and using Money as a symbol of redemption wherein we learn how to Give and Receive as Equals as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make of Money the center of Human Affairs wherein the very words that I speak entail money-value-worth in separation of myself as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I as a human being created the rules of association between money and reality, which were Not Equal as Life from the very beginning, which means that the system was doomed to fail, because nothing that abuses Life can remain and continue existing as is in this reality any longer.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of Money an external aspect of my existence, seeing it as this object that has ‘power over me/ power over life’ and dictates the lives of individuals within a particular community that has its own ‘monetary language’ as economy based on other ‘greater contexts’ that we as individuals often believe ourselves to be only ‘victims-of’ without realizing that we are the very ones that accepted the Money-God concept as ‘real’ in our reality by following its rules and regulations.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to tacitly agree to use money as a means of giving and receiving what is here from and of the Earth, worked/ produced/ transformed by the human without ever questioning why its existence was not then readily given to all beings as All beings require to live and survive in this world – within this, realizing that Money was Not covering all individual needs and that it was then, inherently flawed with an Evil aim, which was that of the illusion of power/ control as the outflow of greed existent in every human being that could fathom there being something ‘more’ than itself, ‘more’ than life and in that, deliberately blinding ourselves to realize that the only thing we were abusing in the name of power is Life itself as ourselves, as fellow human beings, as the animal kingdom and the Earth’s resources that we are now seeing/ realizing is becoming our own demise as humanity.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to trust words as knowledge and information wherein the Money concept was equally adopted just as any other ‘social convention’ in the name of having power over another aspect of reality in separation of who we are as life.

 

I commit myself to continue debunking the concept/ word and associations of Money in this world as a means to make it part of our language, as if it was an actual agreement in means of equal-and-one communication, which is clearly Not and it is a primary word and existence in itself as a concept that is currently equated as God, as ‘holy’ and untouchable/ unquestionable, which is why we have to become aware of the words we speak and the value we have given to words in separation of ourselves.

 

I commit myself to explain How in order to establish the Equal Money System, we require to walk an individual process of understanding Words as Ourselves and Who We Are/ Who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be/ become/ perpetuate and create in separation of ourselves as Life.

 

I commit myself to walk my own process of taking off the veil that I have accepted and allowed as ‘Money’ in my world, wherein all values, worth and perceived ‘power’ embedded in money, is self-forgiven and self-directed in a way that I ensure I can use that word as a New Sign/ Symbol of Life in Equality – which means that who we are as money in this world must be corrected through the realization that it is the current Concept of Money which is the basic problem and weapon of Mind Control to accept is current meaning ‘as is’ without any question, which is obviously leading to absolute abuse and neglect of Life itself.

 

I commit myself to make of Money an actual sign in function of Life in Equality, as a tool that is able to be given to all as a Living-Right by mere consideration of who we are as Equals in this world and reality, which means that I must first walk all the relationships in separation of myself as life that I created through the belief-system of money first as myself and how I built my own reality around it, as that is the only way to see how I separated myself from Life as who and what I really am.

 

This will continue…

 

What have we done

What have I done? (2008)

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Day 1 – Clearing Starting Point: Writing

 

We are beginning a phase in our process wherein we will be writing ourselves to freedom, writing ourselves to give structure to our every day living throughout 7 years. Sounds like a commitment? It is, it is the type of commitment that we have never actually given to ourselves in our lives- until now.

This is part of the process that I’ll walk and that I’ve defined ‘Sculpting in time’ within the concept of becoming a real artist, an artist as a human being that recognizes our full ability and capability to transform society by each individual ‘sculpting’/ molding themselves to be the change that we all see is required to be made here. And that begins with ourselves, here, a group standing up for Life in Equality as a Living Principle that ensures that we all eventually, are able to be equally standing here – yet, for now, we must stand as a forefront and do what’s necessary to be done in order to pave the way for the future generations to come.

 

In the past I had used writing to build and create my personalities, all written in the most hermetic way so that I could not even grasp what I was trying to say and ‘hide’ behind my own words, all done for the purpose of not having anyone understanding or even being able to decipher my own writing. I only ended up spiting myself in that – so, part of the writing point will have to be walked physically wherein I develop a writing that is ‘more readable’ as well.

However, when realizing the initial point: why I had not allowed and directed me to write every day was because of ‘fear of commitment’ to creating a pattern, regardless of how supportive I’ve seen it is – and this is also in relation to ‘how it would be seen by others’ if I publish a blog every day – ideas about past patterns that I’ve lived, a ‘fear’ of being seen as ideals that I haven’t allowed myself to face as an actual possibility within myself.

 

For the past 2 years, I’ve walked the point – slowly but surely – of establishing a point of self-acceptance and also related to ‘perfection’ which I clarified in relation to how I had lived ‘perfectionism’ and the connotations lived throughout my life.

 

Now, it is today, this moment that I listened to a must-hear interview of Self-Support for this existential process we’re walking, by Anu of course, on walking the point of Self-Perfection to stand as an example for humanity. This is the day that it begins with writing, and I realized that I already ‘knew’ I could do this, however I allowed certain factors to tamper my ability to expand, even though the point of writing is already a daily point within my life –regardless of being writing a ‘blog’ specifically, I must be writing somewhere, exerting a comment, a post, giving a perspective that is certainly the way that I have allowed myself to verify ‘I am here, I am walking, I see, I understand, I align myself and support others the best way that I am able to.’

However, these points are here, revealing themselves now as I will walk through Self-Forgiveness, along with various other points related to patterns I’ve lived ‘as myself’ in relation to this point of ‘being an example’ and having people ‘taking myself as an example,’ which brings up necessary experiences to clarify, as the starting point of my writing, which must be understood as Self-Support – self- for myself as one and equal which then includes and implies for all equal and one.

 

I am ready? I remembered Bernard asking me this, and I replied with something like: as ready as I’ll ever be – meaning there is no ‘doubt’ to take here, we either do this here as this great opportunity we have to live, or we’ll just degrade ourselves into what we are already existing as, which is not nice, not pretty and must be stopped.

This time, I won’t allow any external perceptions to limit myself here – I have diminished myself throughout my life on purpose in fear of being ‘outstanding’ – yet as Anu said, this is not about ‘fame’ or ‘recognition’ – not at all, it is about Self-Here walking to live to our utmost potential, realizing our full abilities and capabilities. I stop my deliberate sabotage in fear of being ‘too out there.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to limit myself to not take the habit and self-supportive pattern of writing every day in fear of committing myself to live a point that I would have to ‘live’ as myself, invariably so, every single day– instead of realizing that within this, I limited myself within the ability to expand myself, my process and self-support through making of writing a daily habit wherein I am giving myself a structure to live, to direct myself within my every day living and interactions, wherein I see that there are corrections to be lived – not only as ‘myself’ but as a whole, as we are here to eventually walk a process that involves us all.

I realize that the reason why I didn’t commit myself before, is because of fear of ‘not being able to keep up with my commitment’ – yet, I see that I am the only one that can ‘trap’ myself within my own sabotage for whatever reason and excuse I could find to not write.

When and as I see myself believing that ‘I cannot keep up with my commitment to write every day’ – I stop, and I breathe – I realize that I am mostly creating an ‘ideal’ of writing as ‘having to write every day,’ instead of integrating this as an every-day application, similar to breathing as words, wherein I realize that I am giving myself structure to live – words are here to support ourselves to live, and no longer be used to formulate excuses and justifications as to why we ‘give up’ our ability to expand, express and give ourselves practical support through writing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having limited my ‘intention’ to write every day, in fear of ‘putting up pressure on others’ and within that, allowing myself to ‘back down’ out of fear of how it would be ‘seen by others if I wrote every day’ – which is ludicrous that I accepted my own mediocrity as an ‘acceptable way’ for the sake of how it would be ‘seen by others.’

I realize that this is a pattern that I have lived throughout my life, fear of ‘outstanding’ yet desiring it at the same time – however living the latter as a ‘reversed personality’ that I built for myself, and that I have realized exists as the very manifestation of what my current handwriting is, which I will also be walking in order to clarify the reason why I created such a crooked handwriting as a way to spite myself and ‘others’ from perceiving myself as ‘miss perfection.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having feared being ‘in the spotlight’ in the past, wherein I deliberately physically hunched, looked down and tried to be as ‘less seen as possible’ because of not anting to take the forefront within my reality in any given moment or activity. I realize that the only fear that exists within this is actually me being able to ‘keep up with my stance in the forefront’ – yet I realize that this is not about ‘leading the way’ but standing as a single principle that is in itself, an example of what must be done as existence, as this reality and for that, there can be no more and no less.

I realize that all the perceptions that I projected onto others have been actually my own fears and desires of recognition and wanting to be a wallflower at the same time.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever having feared being seen as ‘conceited’ or ‘showing off’ by actually working and living as the ability and capability that I realize I am able to live as – I see that I have only limited myself out of ‘what others would say’ without seeing the obvious fact that this only exits within my own mind as limitations to Not take the actual necessary steps to clarify for myself that: such thoughts are only judgments that are Not and cannot ever be real, as all that exists here, is equal and one. There can be no ‘more’ or ‘less’ but just inflated egos and diminished ideas of self, both poles must be stopped in order to establish Self within a directive principle as what’s best for all which is: not good, not bad, not more, no less than who and what we really are as One and Equal as Life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having deliberately diminished myself and belittled myself in order to ‘get the necessary approval’ to give myself enough ‘trust’ that I am in fact ‘trust worthy’ to this process. I realize that all of these points of recognition and seeking approval stemmed from a actual fear of standing as an example, fear of being ‘conceited’ which is a point that I will be walking here, to make sure that  the words I direct, the starting point of my actions is in fact considering what’s best for all – walking the process of integrating this principle as a written process wherein I assess where and how I require to re-consider myself, my application, see ‘who I am’ within any given moment, to reintegrate myself to all points that I have separated myself from.

 

I realize that all the patterns, fears, judgments, deliberate self-sabotage that I created for myself toward the point of ‘self-perfection’ and ‘standing as example’ have been but Ideals based on a system of values/ worth in separation of Life. I realize that the way to walk here is within humbleness, wherein I ground myself as the Earth that keeps me breathing, because otherwise, I lose myself up there in the mind, believing myself to be ‘something’ instead of actually living it and seeing the consequences that it manifest.

 

I realize that living words entails responsibility, and this is not to be taken lightly. I realize that any given moment that I see ‘fear’ arising with regards to taking responsibility for myself, and others eventually – I stop and I breathe. I realize that at this moment, I focus on myself wherein I establish self-trust and allow myself to be the director of my every day living, my every day moment wherein I stop any experience wherein I am being taken for a ride by my own participation within my mind in a useless and unnecessary thought pattern or experience that ‘diminishes’ my ability to stand as a living principle and example.

 

Within this process  – and more specifically the last 2 years, I have been more directive within myself to get to a point of comfort within taking a fore-front, which implies walking a process of self-forgiveness in relation to all the ideas, beliefs and perceptions as a  constant battle I lived toward ‘authority’ – and taking that point of self-authority as an actual direction to build self-trust as the application of myself throughout this process, self-acceptance which I have recently clarified in order to give it a more substantial realization of self-acceptance as the physical – and, last but not at least, liberation.

 

What we are doing within writing, is giving us structure to finally ‘free ourselves from the cages of the past.’ And I am here to take the point of rattling the cages of the caged, beginning with myself, letting go unconditionally of any limitation of how I will be perceived and fearing ‘not keeping up with myself,’ which can only exist as a future projection of the nature of self-sabotage which is not acceptable because I see, I realize and understand how the only point that can limit myself is a thought that I am able to stop participating in, from the very moment that I can spot myself facing a resistance.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience resistance to write within the ‘ideal’ of requiring ‘substantial time to write’ in order to create an ‘acceptable blog’ – which are just standards that I have created within my mind, instead of realizing that the moment that I write myself, here, being fully attentive and developing my writing as myself – day to day – I am walking the structure and direction in the moment. There is no way I can create an ‘ideal’ of something that must be and can only be walked in every moment while doing it. 

 

Words are the key to how we create this reality. Within establishing words as ourselves within a self-equality and oneness principle, we are able to in fact place the very foundation upon which we will eventually walk this process to equalize ourselves as Life. Not to be taken lightly, and I can say for myself that, after these years there is not much of a fear toward this. It has taken me time, definitely – so, this is just to share how it IS possible to go from an absolute fear to ‘stand up’ and ‘be in the front’ into an Actual Self-Acceptance which implies Not allowing anything less than who I really am Here – as Life, as One and Equal.

 

When and as I see myself diminishing myself and believing that ‘I must step aside because I cannot keep up’ – I stop and I breathe, I realize that this pattern can only stem from me existing as a point of comparison and competition which is not the way to walk this process. This is about me, here, establishing a point of discipline, consistency and amalgamation of words as myself as an actual tool of self-creation.


I see and realize that, what’s best for all, is and will always be that which must remain as a living condition for each one of us living in this world. This is how common sense throughout this process will be integrated as a living-understanding of what in fact means to ‘write ourselves to freedom,’ as a consistent application of what we are aware we are able to live-as individuals, to finally free ourselves from fears, limitations and perceptions toward ourselves and each other, and equalize ourselves to a living-principle that we all can live as equals.

 

I invite you to do the same – no thoughts on ‘how it must be done’ – this is Your Process, this is My Process, this is Our Process and within this, there is and cannot be any ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ as, within writing from the starting point of developing common sense and establishing Self-Honesty, we can only learn how to correct ourselves As we walk our writings. This is a continued application – yet reinforced to be lived as a daily-action, a daily participation to infiltrate the web with common sense and Self-Forgiveness, which is truly the only way that we are in fact able to unlock ourselves from our self-created cages.

And, I’m grateful for everyone that is equally walking this process-  no matter where in the world you are, we are all together here as a group that stands up for Life, for that which Matters in this world,  a world wherein no common-sense has been lived as a principle. We are here to walk it, and establish and get comfortable with it, get comfortable with wording ourselves to freedom as that’s a human responsibility that must not be taken for granted.

This is our one and only chance to do this. As I heard from the lead singer of Refused last night: This is Not a Rehearsal, this is IT.

No more fun and games – no more fucking around.

Yet! that doesn’t imply that writing is not enjoyable  – the more you walk through resistance, the more it will be easier to let go of any preconceived ideas of ‘how this must be walked.’

As my nose clears up, I see that this is it for today.

 

Thanks for breathing.

 

For more info on this process, visit Desteni and the Forum 

Self Supportive Material to walk this process:

Reptilians – Guidelines through the Maze of the World-System: understanding what Resistance is when writing, how to consider the commitment to this process as a lifetime responsibility within the understanding of the principle of Equality as life. A great lesson to learn how to stop fears to face this process and actually allow us to step up, within the realization that There Is No Other ‘Time’ for This – what better place than here, what better time than now. And it’s all in our hands.

 

 


2012 The Living ‘I’ Organism = 1+1

The need to redefine and reform society stems from our current experience within this world-system being sunk in a seemingly unstoppable downward spiral, wherein the unification of man attempted throughout time, has always been tainted by the nature of our own mindfulness which stood on the way to create an actual best for all outcome within the consideration of the whole as one and equal.

 

Society is created by each individual – we are the system – and by creating an actual sense of neighborism and compassion, within the understanding that we function as an organism wherein all parts are equally regarded for its proper functionalism, we can direct ourselves to then establish the necessary understanding through education about the power that each individual holds to create an overall reform within the current system.  This is then to the best interest of all as our current global crisis in all aspects of reality – individual and social – are revealing the institutions that govern the world are simply outdated. And no, the reform and re-direction required won’t come from your current political parties, social enterprises. This solution entails much more than being able to vote for blue or red or green or red – this system must be transformed at an individual level.

 

We live in violent times wherein the wounds from the past don’t seem to heal, but only get worse as we start realizing and discovering about the lies that we have lived as the current seemingly ‘stability’ that has been pending from one single thread, backed up by and within the delusional monetary system that is ruling over everyone, regardless. We require to heal ourselves first to heal the world, and there is no shaman required to do this: each one of us can do this for ourselves.

 

After we’ve lived  allowed ourselves to fuel our ‘lives’ with lies and abuse, thinking without ever considering the consequences, acting out of reaction, exerting our righteousness with no regard of the words we speak, it is shocking to say the least how we actually always knew what we were doing, but we simply didn’t stop ourselves from taking a moment to breathe and re-consider what words we are about to utter and our starting point for it.

 

We are all aware of these fleeting moments wherein we attempt to ‘have a good time’ yet in the back of our head there’s only dissatisfaction with self and the world, and no matter how much we attempt to show the world a smiley face, it’s just not congruent to the experience within.

 

So far, the only way that I have been able to heal myself – slowly but surely – is through Self Forgiveness. The moment we realize that we have a second chance and actually understand what this entails, you take a stand, I vowed myself to live because I saw there was nothing further down the bottom line. The point that is always feared is risking it all for something that you cannot be certain of, because life is not knowledge, life cannot be proven or shown ‘on paper’ –  not even with  words: they must be Lived.

 

My interpretation of the eye of the needle is having to let go of everything we have ever been till this day and be willing to walk myself as the ‘I’ that will finally remove de dot on top of the i  and place it ! to see everything from a different perspective. Willing to apparently ‘give up’ this idea  of ourselves, which is giving  death to the old for the new to emerge. This didn’t seem like a ‘nice idea’ in the beginning where fears to ‘lose myself’ were still prominent. Yet once I understood how we can only fear losing that which has not been real anyways, it’s been a point that makes me glad, because I realized that I no longer have to be bound to all of these ideas and judgments and tight-restrictions to ‘who I am’ because as an individual and as this entire world-system.  How can we be so afraid to let go of that which is mostly holding us down? We’ve definitely developed a masochistic relationship with our minds wherein the idea of suffering, pain, misery become ‘enjoyable’ experiences in some twisted way – still experiences, mind generated that requires to be constantly reinforced just as we require money to keep living.

 

These energetic systems are able to be reformed if we all consider the potential each one of us holds as an active participant within this world. After all, isn’t this the solution that we all sought for? Being able to be supported to live, develop self-trust and compassion for another wherein true-relationships of self-understanding can emerge – imagine no more counterfeit, blackmailing and having to cheat in order to make a living. The ties that keep the system in place are currently existent within each one of us. There is a way out, a revolutionary way that is often feared, simply because of how unorthodox is may seem. Yet our ‘rights’ have been ‘wronged’ all the way – so, what is there to actually fear?

Nothing.

 

 

If we fear losing the idea of ourselves, what do we know? Have a look at what kept us ‘away’ from such ideas – we dubbed them as ‘dreams’ and ‘utopia’ because that’s exactly what we were Taught to Think-like in this current world system. That’s why all our information industry is based on diverting our attention from actually considering that: we are all suffering, we are all living in survival mode – so why on Earth do we continue like this? Who has been in ‘control’ of it all always?

 

The truth is that the potential won’t be ‘unleashed’ unless we direct ourselves to do so. Just ponder how it is that we have really limited and diminished ourselves to not recognize that we can in fact expand and develop ourselves beyond the limitations of our own mind. The fact that we accepted and allowed such points of distraction to obfuscate our basic ability to analyze our situation, to not ponder ‘why we are stuck in this black-hole’ is already an indication of the obvious acceptance to our own self-imposed limitations – not to mention that over 90% of the world is in some form of drug-  if not everyone because even thinking becomes an energetic fix to divert our attention from our physical beingness here-as-breath.

 

To get to this point, we all had to first try out the seemingly ever tempting ‘fruits of the tree’ and then letting go of it – it is within realizing that we have developed such an obsessive-manner of living that we become fixated on ‘one single point’ and forget about the rest of reality that is HERE, probably pondering where and how on Earth we have gotten to reduce ourselves to a single experience? That should be physical abuse as well, yet we haven’t dared to call it for what it is because we are always preferring to externalize our self-responsibility to ‘others’ in our world.

 

“Between birth and death, human beings have collective work to do on Earth”
Joseph Beuys

 

We are able to stop lying to ourselves by our own volition to do so. We walk the individual process beginning with ‘cutting of all ties’ within a process of Self-Support to ensure that we do not only just stop participation in our lives, but we actually walk a process of assessing which aspects are required to be re-defined, corrected and aligned to the principle that we establish as the law of our being: Equality as Life.

 

Through applying Self-Forgiveness  we give ourselves a second chance to live. We realize that we don’t have to go carrying our past, our guilt, deeds, quirks secrets and this entire world system of abuse, violence and corruption as an ever-present hunting shadow that becomes the default experience within ourselves. We can de-fault ourselves by forgiving ourselves and start over again. What a better ‘gift’ you can give you to yourself than for-giving our negligence toward ourselves and all living participants within the world– What is it that I give to myself?

 

  • The opportunity to live and be self-directive beings for the first time in our existence.

  • The ability to develop our expression and creativity to the utmost potential

  • The  decision  to stand equal to everything and everyone in this reality that I had absolutely neglected as an equal in the past

  • The opportunity to ‘clean my wounds’ that are here as the accumulation of everyone that has gone before me

  • The recognition and realization that everything that I ever sought for has always been Here as myself

  • The capability to participate in the creation of a world system wherein each individual is equally participant and aware of the benefits that working as an actual collective brings.

  • The ability to stop living in survival mode and spend our time developing our expression wherein we will no longer be bound to the constrictions that we are currently calling ‘a living.’
    .

And a long list ensues when looking at the social-implications of it as a collective.

 

You might now realize who this is in fact the most revolutionary message we have gotten in our society, taken to a global level thanks to the e-social networks that we have now  to establish communication with people around the world, which means that the national-identification is, slowly but surely, breaking off in order to establish the basic foundation of what living by-principle actually implies.

 

Of course all of this requires our commitment to do this for ourselves, as ourselves as the whole. We must get out of our own limitations and fears that only tamper our ability to see the actual potential that each one of us holds in every single breath that we are here, committing egocide in the name of Life.

 

And for that, I give myself the only ‘reason’ to live which is self-here- equal and one, I allow myself to see beyond the current limitations of the mind to realize and take into consider-action that I hold the power of change in every breath that I am here. I realize that the definition of society begins with my self equality and oneness to then, understand society as the extension of self as individuals that stand in an equal-participation and understanding of how we function as an organism wherein no parts can be ‘greater than’ as that would mean cancer in the organism/ body, nor can anyone be ‘less than’ as that would also cause disease.

 

Only in self-equality can we get to realize what thriving actually is as a whole in this world. First step is Self-  then, we take over the world – and for that we require to stand up one by one – if you hear and see the importance of the following, join Desteni

 

“Ponder the I
in consciousness called the I AM
this is the I of the needle
as Earth is the EYE of the universe
the creator is the I of the Beholder
eye of the beholder
that is how I create in consciousness — and all I create as consciousness always return to dust
this I — yet to be born by “self” is quite something –as in a way the being stands as pure I — no programming as starting point –yet is all that is consciousness — obviously — what is not consciousness — is to the perceiver/interpreter/mind/I am/being — nothing — as the being is only what the EYE/mindseye see
the closest to what is real — is what the eye see– judgment comes from the secret I — the secret mind — that is who the being really is–and is what is to be given up –forever –with absolute certainty — no doubt ever — to be able to see with the I that is LIFE– because then LIFE see direct as I – I direct — no proof possible — because the Mindseye that wants proof — is temporary — and thus has no value what so ever”

Bernard Poolman 

 

 

“[Joseph] Beuys argued that the key to survival was in the collective transformation of the “social organism.” For him, communication between the domains of the spiritual and the earthly were primary to cultural regeneration.”

Desteni is the bridge between both realms.

Visit Destonians for more support on How to Stand up for Life


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