Category Archives: characters

174. Sinking in Reactions after Thinking and Not Doing

 

As mentioned in the previous blog, giving into an experience of the mind is asserting me as the thoughts that create such experience and as such, I’ll walk the specific experiences that emerge from the thoughts and as such, ensure that I walk every aspect of the dimensions walked to far in order to assist and support me to become aware of the energetic experiences I create from the negative to the positive in order to ‘make it alright’ in my mind to actually not do the task at hand, and still remain in a positive experience in my reality.

 

This is thus walking the Reaction dimension within the Postponement character.

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

– First prominent thought of ‘the office’ – imagination, backchat and reaction

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with an experience of tediousness when thinking/ having the thought of my professor’s office wherein I go into a sinking-in reaction of further participation in backchat with thoughts like ‘It’s going to take sooo long for it to get done, I rather not do it now’ and within this experience already giving up my ability to direct myself in the physical, stopping participation in the thought and the reaction as dullness/ apathy and tediousness that I create in that moment in order to justify my decision to ‘leave it for later,’ wherein I can see and realize that it is NOT my decision to ‘leave it for later’ but actually me giving into the negative experience of dullness/ apathy and tediousness as a reason and justification to instead, seek to do that which I ‘would rather do’ which is something else that I have defined as a positive experience/ giving me a sense of ‘satisfaction’ according to the values placed/ given to other activities that I have defined as ‘more productive,’ without realizing the responsibility at hand that is in-fact here for me to walk and do, instead of seeking to do ‘something else instead’ that is clearly being defined as a ‘preferable task’ instead of what simply has to be done/ must be done.

When and as I see myself going into an experience of future projected tediousness, apathy and distress when going into the thought of the office, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I actually imprinted this experience of tediousness toward the office in itself due to having had to wait for my professor to be available outside the office and then going into the office with an accumulation of tediousness from having to wait outside for a while, which is then how the moment that I went into the office and imprinted that ‘first impression’ of his office with bright white light, sitting in front of him and handing my writing, I was experiencing myself with such dullness and tediousness due to me having had the backchat prior to entering the office in the lines of ‘This is how it’s going to be every time that I come here to revise my work, I’ll have to wait till he’s here/ he’s available, and it sucks’  thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate backchat and an experience of tediousness based on the moment prior to getting into my professor’s office due to the amount of time that I had to wait for him to be available and within that, being thinking that ‘I should have come another day/ another time’/ ‘this is going to take forever every time that I have to consult him’  and within this making an experience of having to wait for him to be available and in this, carrying this experience of dullness/ apathy and tediousness into the office wherein in my mind, I captured the thought of ‘finally getting into the office’ with a mix of the ‘carried’ tediousness/ apathy and dullness of having waited outside and imprinting now an expectation as slight nervousness and even ‘controlled anxiety’ when finally facing him and handing my writings to be revised’

I realize that all of this is captured in one single though of the office being ‘loaded’ with the experience of tediousness, dullness for having waited outside of the office and then the accumulated expectation, nervousness and anxiety that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in within that first time/ moment of going to my professor’s office and as such, creating and imprinting this entire experience as ‘the revision time’ represented by the thought of the office with the bright white daylight, generating within me the same mix of dullness, fear, anxiety and tediousness whenever I think of ‘doing my writing’ and immediately come up with the thought of the office with the bright white light daylight coming through as a non-desirable experience within me.

 

When and as I see myself going to the office and creating and loading the future projection of the office and the experience of tediousness mixed with nervousness as an entire ‘negative experience’ within me – I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am creating these experiences based on my own acceptance and allowance of thinking in the moment of going to the office and within the thinking, generating an experience that I ‘saved’ as a single thought linked to the physical action of revising my writings, and within this creating an entire experience of it all being something ‘I don’t want to do,’ which is manipulating myself to always only do and remain within a comfortable zone/ doing what I would ‘prefer’/ would rather be doing, without realizing that this is all my inner-mind tricks and manipulation tactics through fear and negative experiences in order for me to not simply physically do something. Thus

I commit myself to walk the process of actually stopping the thought of ‘the office and the white bright light image’ and the memory replay of me having waited for a long time before going inside as an entire ‘negative imprint’ to the physical action of taking my writings for revision, and within stopping, directing myself to actually work on my writings in order to be available and willing to share them/ go for a revision as a physical practical measure that is required to be taken within this process of me writing and requiring a revision in order to get feedback, which is also a requirement within this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to future project a moment within that office wherein I will be told that I simply have to ‘do it all over again’ as a negative experience that I have imprinted onto that moment of ‘revision’ that I have imprinted with a negative reaction within me of nervousness and anxiety that I actually accept and allow myself to go into just by playing out this future-scenario within my mind of ‘having to do it all over again’ without realizing that I have created this based on linking the word ‘revision’ to a negative experience within the belief that it means ‘doing everything all over again,’ which is in fact an exaggeration as I see and realize that this is only me in my imagination making everything ‘more’ than what it is, in order to use this imagination as an excuse to Not do things.

When and as I see myself reacting in nervousness and anxiety within the imagination of being sitting in that office and listening that I have to do it all over again, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is just me playing a picture running in my mind that I am using as an excuse to not move – therefore

I commit myself to stop participation in that initial thought of the office and within this, stopping participation in the anxiety and nervousness that comes when imagining a play out that is  of a ‘negative outcome / negative in nature’ as I realize that I am here, in the physical moment having all that I require in order to get this task done – therefore I assist and support myself to get this task done in the physical as a movement I make, breathing through any reactions that I have participated in throughout an extended period of time.

I realize that when having accumulated the same imagination play out for an extended period of time, it will take me absolute directive principle to stop going into the same ‘comfort zone’ of imagining this entire play out as something negative that leads me to manipulate myself to instead, create a positive experience of what I could instead be doing in my reality, to not do the task at hand, which is unacceptable.

 

Thought of ‘the folder’ containing the writings

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of absolute anxiety the moment that I see the folder in my documents in my computer containing all the writings and information for my writing, and within this immediately shifting my attention to ‘something else’/ some other document in order to shove away all the plethora of thoughts that I have accumulated over time in relation to ‘having to get this done,’ and actually not do it, but scroll down and or shift the window and continue with ‘other things’ that I have considered are more ‘comfortable’ to work with, that are ‘better things to do’ instead of tapping onto this writing, which is manipulating myself to believe that the experience of anxiety and nervousness is in fact real and as such something ‘difficult’ to walk through, without realizing that it is a matter of realizing that I have created this experience linked to the amount of time that I have procrastinated this particular task and as such, created into a single ‘fear’ of even looking at the folder due to this single action meaning that I have Not been self-responsible in all aspects in my world – hence the anxiety and nervousness when realizing the dishonesty toward written points that I have to direct in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself reacting with absolute fear and anxiety just by looking at the folder containing my writings, I take a deep breathe, I stop for a moment and realize that the moment is here to work with it and that all it physically takes is to click on it, open it and search for the latest version of my document in order to arrange what I have done, and take the necessary steps to update my current direction that I’ve been ‘intending’ to give the writing and that I can do so in this moment that I see and realize it must be done.

 

I commit myself to realizing that this only takes actually clicks on my mouse and physically typing which is something I consider I am quite comfortable doing, and within this stick to breath, focusing my attention on the points that are HERE to be faced and remain constant and consistent within my own awareness of what I am reading, what I am writing and keeping in ‘mind’ the direction of it all as a commitment to get this done.

 

I realize that the commitment to stop manipulation through all the negative experiences attached to one single point of writing the document and facing the revision is precisely a part of the ‘problem’ that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the two primary points as thoughts, imaginations loaded with backchat in relation to why I don’t want to do this/ why I could simply skip it this moment and do it later, and in this perpetuate a manipulation within myself and toward my reality, wherein all I see and realize remains is this ‘load’ that only grows day by day due to not having given proper direction to it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a reaction of absolute apathy toward something that simply has to be written, as I realize that I don’t require to be motivated with a positive experience to do things/ get things done, as I realize that only us as the mind have accepted and allowed ourselves to condition ourselves to only move if there is ‘something in it for us’ as a reward/ further positive experiences that we have given value to in order to ‘move’ and ‘be motivated’ within this

 

When and as I see myself believing that I have to have a motivation to move/ to write/ to get things done as a positive experience, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in my process of getting out of the mind and into the physical Self Will means no energy is required to move myself and such, I direct myself as the physical reality that is here to move/ direct and live as physical movements and that only me as a mind would require a positive experience as an incentive to move – thus I stop seeking for  a ‘reason’ outside of myself as a positive outcome/ reaction within me upon thinking about ‘I am going to do this’

 

I commit myself to realize that whenever I direct myself as the thoughts ‘I am writing this document’ that I do not participate in either a positive or a negative experience’ but simply realize that it is a physical and tangible point to direct in my reality and that in physicality we don’t require to manipulate ourselves with energy to get things done, we don’t require to fear to get things done, we don’t require to feel anxious or nervous within future play-outs of our experience within further imagination moments that we have given our power away to. This is a single decision to stop participating in energy as a demotivation/ motivation to do move in the physical reality.

I realize that by creating any experience upon something that must be done, I am not yet being fully Self-Directive as a physical being, which is then a necessary point to realize as a constant breathing process wherein I realize that all that I require as tools are here with me and that I’ve got both hands, my breath to move myself in the physical and that’s it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a general reaction of irritation and annoyance toward myself due to realizing and falling flat on the realization that I am being the only obstacle within this, and that I have been the one that has been ‘in front of my way’ all the time – thus

When and as I see myself creating an experience of irritation and further annoyance toward myself for not doing things, I stop and I breathe – I realize this is an unnecessary experience to go into within the realization that the only way to correct this is by doing it, instead of pulling out further experiences, abusing myself, my physical body and lashing it out ‘onto the world’ for something that I am fully aware I am responsible for.

I commit myself to establish myself as breath to not allow these ‘subtleties’ as annoyance irritation created within me and lashing it out onto others/ the world as I realize that I am the only one that is able to stop the experience and actually direct myself to what is required to be done in this particular task and that no matter how ‘angry’ I get at myself, only physically correcting the pattern will solve the problem – thus I am the ‘problem’ and I am the solution.

I commit myself to establish my self-discipline in relation to actually doing this as part of my daily routine without any excuses and justification that can create further experience upon having ‘written it out but not living it’ which is the morphed character that must be considered at all times in order to not re-create or further evolve the character by laying it out ‘nicely’ but not living it – and that is where Self Honesty resides.

 

I will continue with further reactions experiences within the entire walking of the procrastination character.

 

Reaction Self-Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define WHO I AM into and as energy-experiences within and as an complete alternate reality, separate from/of my PHYSICAL BODY, never questioning “but, why – when I am IN this BODY in EVERY BREATH, do I not stand WITH it, AS it, in and as equality and oneness in being able to relate to it, communicate with it, “experience” it? Why am I existing in separation from it in a reality/system as the MIND as ENERGY that I do not have full context, comprehension or understanding of AT ALL, regarding where thoughts exactly come from, how energies are in fact created, why/how does things so seemingly automatically come up in my Mind that I have no control of?”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to so readily FOLLOW energy-experiences and the personification of energy as the dimensions of Personality as thought, imagination, backchat, and behaviour so often that it’s become so “accepted” – that I never even stopped for a moment to consider how LITTLE I am in fact aware of my PHYSICAL BODY, my BREATHING and my communication, interaction and participation with others in this world/reality as ALL the living beings, organisms, micro-organisms – the actual LIVING REALITY that is here. – Sunette Spies*

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163. Who am I within Procrastination?

This is a necessary point to open up in order to give myself the opportunity to actually see beyond the immediate self interest of ‘doing things later’  and how within this we’re essentially only caring about our Own experience while neglecting the actual effect and consequence that such actions have ‘beyond our nose’ which is a way to explain how within our words, deeds and actions we have only ever considered ‘ourselves’ as individuals, placing aside any perspective wherein the consideration of the whole is in fact an equal and one realization. And this is the point missed in fact, how within our individual processes we tend to ‘lose perspective’ of an actual oneness and equality of what’s being walked, and within this somehow think that because of us not doing something/ doing something, we don’t affect the whole – but we do, oh yes we certainly do, otherwise how else would we be able to manifest the world as it currently exist?

I realized the point of self-trust within myself how within me shoving aside a point to be done, I create this ‘burden’ within me wherein one would want to believe that nothing else gets ‘affected’ by it, but it is not so, it ALL gets equally affected by this one single point as I see that the who am I within this one single point of procrastination cannot be separate from any other aspect of myself as it is not the ‘bad me’ that is not taking responsibility for it, it is the totality of myself that is taking this decision to simply not give direction to one point.

And so, within this, I thought that I could somehow brush aside, hide under the rug that which I knew all the way was here, waiting for me to give it direction. And the actual realization after finally opening this entire point up is ‘why waiting/ why having to wait till all shit hits the fan to move?’

Another dimension – of the plethora of dimensions that have stemmed from this – is how we become uncertain about our own words, our very stance within our commitment to live whenever we are Aware of one single aspect that we are not giving direction to – one or more I’d say – and as such, it is a point wherein I realize I cannot possibly continue fooling myself, yet I managed to do it for so long that it became like an ‘integral aspect’ of myself wherein I would exist in this parasitical relationship toward ‘my procrastination’ as this constant cloud in the head that I would carry around and only access to it in a conscious manner whenever I activated the Time factor during my day. However the fact that I would not apparently ‘think’ about it doesn’t mean it was not there. It was pretty much here and I see how this one single aspect started seeping through anything else and this past week was a key point for me to realize, like taking myself as far as only doing the absolutely basics and responsibilities that I have taken on toward others, however I have neglected the most basic responsibility which is toward myself, at all times – and within this there exists like a massive shift of responsibility and self-commitment wherein I see the pattern wherein I have kept my constant and consistent application of commitments and responsibilities in an ‘okay’ manner toward Others, but when it came to me, my own process, my own writings, I was only really doing the basics of it, not being absolutely here committing myself to the points that I realize require my immediate attention and dedication.

So, I see and realize that this point might as well take me quite some time to take on and I see/ realize and understand that unless I decide to stand absolute this time, nothing will change and nothing will move, which is leaving the door open for me to creep back to old patterns of procrastination or leaving things up to the last minute within the belief that ‘somehow’ I have always managed to get things done in a perfect manner at the last moment, which is Also another aspect to debunk within this all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create procrastination and exist as procrastination based on the relationship I formed toward that which I have to do, instead of actually realizing that it’s not about ‘what’ needs to be done, but who am I within procrastinating, postponing a task/ job/ assignment/ work that I realize I have to do and ‘get moving,’ wherein within shoving it aside, brushing of this point to complete and give direction to, I allowed myself to create a massive timeloop of inaction and abdication of responsibility essentially, because in my mind every time that the point would come up to give direction to, I always gave it a ‘second go’ to ‘do it later/ rather wait for the ‘right moment,’ which is the same as waiting for the holy ghost to come and motivate me in a sense, which is obviously delusional as it is only me that can move myself and give myself proper self-direction, instead of lagging and dragging thing undone/ incomplete around me.

When and as I see myself realizing that it is time to get myself writing/ doing the task that I require to get done and immediately having the subtle fear of this being a ‘long dreary process to complete,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is only a fear thought that I’ve created as the main resistance to this, which taps into fear of being judged, fear of having to do things more than once and within this existing as a bunch of fears in the mind that I can simply stop in one breath and direct myself to simply do it which implies, opening up the word processor and typing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mind possession around the point of procrastination allow myself to actually not be tied to this one single point in the back of my head, not giving it direction and allowing it to ‘grow’ further and further while believing that somehow I would eventually ‘get to it/ give it direction’ without realizing the obvious which is if I don’t move and if I don’t direct myself to do it, it simply won’t ever be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my entire stance as my process just because of compromising my every breath to be subject to this point of dragging the past as ‘who I am’ in every moment that I see ‘time’ and realize all the things that I am dragging along with time, which is one of the main factors that I have enslaved myself to and not allowing myself to fully be here as breath, as every breath is a reminder of all the things ‘left behind’ instead of actually utilizing every breath to Move myself physically to get it done and within this, stop abusing myself as the physical that I am in fact consuming as the point of procrastination, because this actually creates a point of constant preoccupation and an experience of ‘having something to do’ all the time, which is how we create our own pre-occupations instead of immediately giving it direction as the moment that one realize there is a point to direct/ give direction to.

When and as I see myself compromising my entire process and my beingness to further procrastinate a single point of giving myself direction to do/ complete a task/ job/ paper/ work – I stop and I breathe – I give myself the opportunity to actually take the thoughts coming up, taking the pictures coming up in my mind in relation to working on this project and actually doing it, as the very thoughts are then pointing out to me that which I am separating myself from.

I realize that the more I give ‘length’ for these thoughts to go seemingly ‘unnoticed’ and are ‘brushed aside,’ the more I am in fact accumulating/ piling up this burden within me that I realize is not cool at all to live with, as this is the type of thinking and Not doing that keeps myself enslaved to one single point with no self-direction, instead of actually supporting myself to walk the thoughts into an actual doing and within this stopping the pre-occupation and directing myself to occupation on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of disparity within my process wherein I am creating this point of ‘absolute responsibility’ only to a certain aspects in my reality but Not toward everything that is of myself and my immediate responsibilities, which implies the point of giving time to ‘support others’ and forgetting about my own process of actually getting into the necessary and immediate points to walk through self forgiveness – thus

When and as I see myself in any given moment going into a point of desire to support others to the t and deliberately leaving my own process aside and ‘saving it for later,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have a schedule with which i can support myself to occupy my time to take care of my basic responsibilities and at the same time use the rest of the time to get my work done, as I realize that every time this would emerge I would then use the excuse and justification of ‘others’ as a point to ‘take care of’ toward others/ something else other than my own process to stop procrastination and get the actual work done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that somehow I would manage to get things done ‘perfectly fine’ up to the last minute as I had done in the past, without realizing that i cannot possibly relay on ‘the past’ to define me and my own self direction here – thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that ‘everything will turn out just fine in the end’ is based on a positive attitude within this seemingly automatic ‘benefit’ I would always experience within being a ‘good student in school’ wherein no matter if I would do things up to the last minute – such as writing an assignment/ studying for an exam – I would always have a positive result within it, and within this, creating a pattern of laxity towards tasks/ assignments/ projects that require to be completed in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself believing that ‘everything will turn out just fine in the end’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is one of the key backchat thoughts that I have used to continue procrastinating within the belief that ‘no matter what I do, it will always be fine,’ which is basing my current self application based on the past wherein I was always getting positive results even if I had procrastinated the point for a long time – which is an absolutely unacceptable belief within me, that because it worked in the past it can work now – and also I realize that even if it did work, all the time spent within this procrastination loop has already caused consequence within my physical body due to the extent of energy consumed in order to maintain such point of resistance and procrastination in place, which is like loading an app in your computer that you simply never get to use and it’s always there giving you reminders of requiring and update, and one know it requires action from our side but instead we just ‘let it be’ with no self direction, which seems ludicrous when looking at the reality of the ‘problem,’ however this is how things are ‘blown out of proportion’ in our mind when not being fully self-directive here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my life for granted within believing/ thinking/ perceiving that ‘I will have time the next day for it,’ and within this actually making a statement of giving up in that very moment my ability to live and instead take the next day for granted as a ‘given time’ for me to do things, instead of doing what Is required to be done in the moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a plethora of excuses to justify my self interest in every moment that I tacitly imply that I do not want to do something and instead do something else that I perceive as ‘more relevant’ in my mind, which is a form of excusing doing that which ‘I like/ prefer doing’ than that which must be done, which most likely comes as a point of actual self-movement that won’t have a mind-urgency to it, but it is actually one of the points that I realize I have to implement and Will myself to do it, as I realize how the moment that we abdicate our breathing to support the mind, we stop being self-willed beings and become mind-driven robots seeking for self interest only.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to honor myself, my every moment of being here with doing/being/living/ becoming that which is self supportive at all times, instead of only focusing on that which has become our own demise as humanity which is following our self interest blindly with no further questioning of the consequences that following this ‘good feeling’ experience as the force we allow ourselves to be driven by eventually manifest throughout time.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within only considering ME and my point of preference/ self interest, I am simply declaring the mind’s absolute reign over the physical and within these seemingly ‘unimportant points’ such as procrastinating on a task actually neglect the effect that this has at an existential level which is something that is not exaggerated as it is in the very participation that we all have within this world that we have created our reality as it is, as an outflow of everything that we do and participate upon/ don’t participate in our day to day living.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to leave things for tomorrow, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am taking my moment here for granted and actually believing that I will be here the next day which is obviously not here and as such it is the same as procrastinating what’s here to be done onto a non-existent moment that is ‘the future’ and that I don’t have assured as it being a certainty for me to live every single day –

 

I realize that every time that I procrastinate I am taking my life for granted and actually abusing the breath that I am existing as here and using it to my own self interest to satisfy the ‘who I am as the mind,’ instead of taking the opportunity and the moment to support and assist myself with activities that I can take on in order to expand myself physically, to assist and support my own ‘grounding’ as physical-responsibilities that I can in fact take on in my world and reality.

 

I commit myself to continue forgiving myself for all the reasons, justifications and ideas that I’ve created in my mind as a way to justify and validate my own abdication of responsibility in order to suit my own mind and not the physical reality that is here as what is required to be done, what is supportive for me to live and act upon, direct myself to do at all times.

to be continued…

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162. Either Do it or DIE

I had a dream wherein I had applied for a job at a record store, and I was given a certain schedule that I of course had to cover. However I was rather entertained in my reality with something else, I remember I was interacting or moving around with people and as such when the time came for me to go cover my job schedule, I simply decided not to go and the reason in this case was because ‘I didn’t require the money,’ thus I experienced this absolute laxity toward the point of responsibility simply because I was not being guided by survival to do it, which is something that I can see is related to the motivation/ motive-factor as that energetic point that acts like a crutch for me to move.

The stagnation and deliberate shoving away of responsibilities is part of this point. I’ve lost the ‘fear’ to not do things and within this, I have self sabotaged myself extensively, simply because all the ‘discipline’ that I had lived was in fact only based on fear and keeping up a reputation that in my mind, I could not ‘afford’ to spoil for one second.

When the characters were identified, in my mind I created this point of laxity toward responsibilities, like literally only doing it at the last moment and essentially justifying it – foolishly enough – with me no longer acting out of fear to get things done, but ‘testing my waters’ in relation to my own ‘self-movement’ once that such fear is apparently non existent. And I say ‘apparently’ because it is quite obvious how I actually only turned the tables and went to the opposite of being the ‘on time responsible one’ to be a deliberate procrastinator one. This was all done consciously/ me being aware of it, and the only point that I can see has factored into it is this ‘force’ wherein I have opted to simply give myself away to it and continue placing things aside, postponing it all simply because I don’t perceive such points getting done within a matter of life or death. This reveals to what extent we have only moved when there is either a positive or negative reward and in my case, in the dream, the ‘record store job’ I had always kept in the past as this ‘dream like job’ – even if I am now aware it is not ‘dream-like’ at all – as something that I would do out of pleasure and that was going to apparently only be like an extended hobby. So, in the dream when it came to actually cover my hours, I decided to simply not go and take it as lightly as possible, simply because there was no point ‘behind’ it that was pushing me to do it, to move.

 

The same has happened in many ways within my reality wherein I actually dislike the fact that we have to be threatened in one way or another to move, however even after knowing this, we simply don’t do it.  The words ‘What’s the benefit in it?’ is what comes to mind when looking at ‘points I have to do’ which implies that within such cases I am still ‘expecting’ something good or even something bad coming out of it, and this ‘jaded’ attitude toward consequences is actually another way to not take responsibility for the points that are simply not being done/ not given direction, wherein it is obviously a non-doing situation that cannot possibly be without ‘an experience’ as it is perceived in my mind. I see and realize that it actually has taken quite a hold of myself due to my own deliberate shoving-aside of things that I know I have to do, but I am not doing.

So, the dream revealed to me this aspect of ‘necessity’ to do things out of survival – such as a job- while also deliberately neglecting the compromise I had made to actually do the job, which is something that is ‘so unlike me’ in terms of how I used to function in the past as the character of being a responsible person, whereas now that such point is not so automated or triggered out of fear, I see that it is definitely a point of ‘If I don’t change and if  I don’t move, nothing will change and nothing will move.’

We got it all in words, I got all the tools, I realize and see the point – so what is this deliberate mindfuck that I’m playing onto myself? Not doing something out of thinking of the future consequences of it, of the actual time that it would take, of the reviews and criticism that it will take, of the several bureaucratic processes that I am supposed to go through, of all the times that I would have to re-write the damn thing, and within that I see how I have in fact squandered more time when deliberately pushing aside this whole thing believing that somehow it could magically be ‘overlooked’ which is ludicrous and fantastic to my awareness at this very moment, how far I have deluded myself.

For all actions and inactions there’s a consequence – in my dream I did not get to see the point of not showing up for my job, but I can see how as long as ‘my life didn’t depend on it,’ I would unlikely take it serious, which is absolutely unacceptable, as I had made a contract/ commitment to actually do it, regardless of the money-made and my actual need for it, as well as it being supposed to be this ‘job’ that I liked/ wanted to get at some point early on in my life, which also indicates how we can brainwash ourselves to the utmost degree and believe that we ‘got it all covered,’ and when the seemingly petty points emerge, we can in fact realize that such seemingly ‘small decisions’ turn into massive balls of snow that grow and grow the more time keeps rolling.

And this point of consequence can also be observed within the relationship with time and procrastination, how we literally enslave ourselves to this ‘time frame’ wherein actual fear is being built toward the point, unnecessarily so, but because of the amount of energy as resistance/ procrastination that’s been created, we in fact develop it all into this massive ball that is nothing else but our own creation. And this is where in my mind, as the ego, would have wanted to blame it onto everyone else but myself, which is obviously something that cannot possibly exist any further within me.

 

Postponement:  this Force as ourselves as the Mind operate – where in a moment, our habitual Personality would activate and then this Force would be that “physical experience” within oneself of REALLY not WANTING to push through the Personality pattern/habit, but rather continue following the habitually patterned thoughts/internal conversations and behaviour – essentially in that moment the Mind/Consciousness as ourselves as the accepted and allowed self-defined Personality we’ve become, force ourselves into and as Mind-Submission, giving up on ourselves and the opportunity we would have had in that moment if one had simply taken a breath and committed self to the decision of change/realisation and physically, practically completed/done the task/assignment/responsibility.” – Sunette Spies on

The FORCE: DAY 161

 

 

And the nail I have hit my head with today:

for example, can look at contexts of:

“Postponing with School/University Assignments/Tasks – compromising one’s future and survival in this world system that is, unfortunately at this stage really dependent on establishing a profession/having an education. Obviously yes even though this may not be guaranteed, it should still not be an excuse, reason, justification to not utilize the opportunity you have in this moment to complete your education. You do not know what the Future may bring, and therefore, rather utilize the opportunity you have with education, commit yourself to get it done, so as to not have to face the regret of not utilizing this opportunity you have, later in life. It is here in your life/world, therefore – do it, get it done.” – Sunette Spies

Character Dimensions – Practical Application (Part 1): DAY 163

 

This last bit was enough to say Oh mein Gott it is so obviously blatantly here and how it has been deliberately brushed off in order to make it seem like, you know, it’s not relevant, you know I’ll do it later, I’ll Eventually get onto it, I’ll obviously have to get it done. Hence the title wherein it is interesting to see how I can give a dribble and a plethora of excuses as to why I was not doing so, however in the end it is a simple point of choosing to be/become the mind that seeks for a point of comfort/ no ‘problem solving’ type of situation instead of actually realizing how enjoyable it even was to expand myself within getting into academic stuff, this is also related to any habit that was for example supportive and when we stop doing it for an extended period of time, we tend to simply ‘forget’ how we would actually enjoy ourselves writing/ doing/ saying something that we then created a negative-charge to in order to create this infamous procrastination loop.

 

And what’s fascinating is that somehow I managed to procrastinate reading Heaven’s Journey To Life this entire week, and as I re-read this I realized that this is a timeloop obviously otherwise it would not be HERE for me to look at, walk with such blatant and obvious timing support – and self forgiveness for the clear judgmental aspect that arises as I write this out:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing any form of reputation as being a ‘responsible being,’ without realizing that such character was also driven by fear and this is the time wherein I am in fact realizing what self-movement actually is and implies for the very first time and that judging myself for it, won’t do any ‘better’ for it – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be judged by ‘others’ for not having been consistent within my application, without realizing that I was perfectly aware of it and the deliberateness of it linked to this single point of allowing myself to be ‘driven’ by the force and believing that ‘I had it all sorted out’ which is actually the same point of ‘ignorance is bliss’ that many people may create as positive thinking, without realizing that I was doing exactly the same thing when talking myself out of taking responsibility for a single point that is here as my responsibility to be done, and within this, believe that there is ‘no consequence to it for others, but only myself’ which is also a point of self interest and deliberately shoving aside the fact that I am actually aware of how everything that we do/ don’t do does not only create a consequence for myself, but creates a consequence at the level of the whole  – and within this,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘lose my ground’ and actually having deliberately created this stance of ‘all is well’ within me wherein apparently I was ‘not caring about it/ about getting something done,’ without actually seeing that the masquerade of ‘all is well’ was stemming from actually seeing the actual fear that created it as the realization of time as consequence being directly proportional to the amount of time I’ve shoved aside this point which is time-looping at a maniac-rate –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually not even dare to be honest toward myself in relation to actually taking this point ‘by the horns’ because of not wanting to ‘expose’ myself to myself for the actual stupidity that it is to leave a task/ assignment/ evaluation aside believing that somehow it could not be ‘relevant’ to my reality any longer, which is quite the excuse to actually not take responsibility for myself and my creation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now that I am writing it out, actually experience a constriction in my chest and experience the heaviness as an energetic experience of fear in relation to seeing how long I have in fact excused myself out of this point and not given proper direction to it within the belief that I would ‘someday’ eventually do it and manage to get it all ‘perfectly done’ as I had done in the past, without considering that the past is not here as myself and that I cannot rely on ‘past patterns’ that require an actual DOING and giving direction to it within my reality, whereas before I would see them as an extension of who I am as such point of taking on a responsibility and committing myself to it.

 

When and as I see myself going into fear/ petrification when realizing the consequences of everything that I’ve done/ haven’t done, I stop and I breathe – I instead direct myself to not over-think about it and create yet another experience toward the pattern of procrastination but instead commit myself to do it, and this is not for the sake of keeping or sustaining an ‘idea’ of myself, but it is in fact part of what I had committed myself to be/ do/ become in my reality, wherein I am in fact then aware that it is a physical point to do within the current system that we live in and that it doesn’t matter if it’s required or not, it is a point for me to take on and ‘get it done’ no matter what, as I see and am aware that it cannot be pushed any further away in time than this.

 

So, I commit myself to get this done and I see and realize that breathing is the point to diffuse the experience within me which is a mix of fear and anxiety that I had managed to cover up with this seemingly ‘stable’ experience within me, while neglecting that it was not really a stable point of who I am but a make-believe stability because of knowing that I had been dragging one single point or various points around for an extended period of time without giving it direction and actually using other points in my reality to distract myself from taking responsibility for it – so another note here:

 

“Distraction – deliberately distracting ourselves with/as the Force of/as the Mind/a Personality, distracting us from/of ourselves, the physical to in/as that moment sabotage an opportunity for/as self-change/self-realisation within ourselves and our worlds. That we’d rather distract ourselves with and as the Mind/Personality, and attempt/try to validate/justify that distraction through and as the extent to which we can talk ourselves/convince ourselves in/as that moment from actually moving ourselves into and as a moment of change/realisation. All of which simply exemplify the nature of/as ourselves as human beings; that we’re deliberately utilizing ourselves as the Mind to not in fact really change, but conveniently only pay attention to our ‘comfort zones’ in the Mind to maintain separation and abdication of responsibility from/of ourselves and our worlds/realities.” – Sunette Spies  on The Force

 

So this entire point that came up in the dream wherein deciding to do the ‘fun thing/ that which I like/ that which made me feel ‘cool’  instead of  actually attending my schedule at the job and taking the point of Self Responsibility. So this is ‘my creations’ within the mindfuckism category, as Scott Cook has accurately coined the term – and it’s something I am definitely aware it’s not cool at all to perpetuate due to the actual extensive amount of energy it takes to keep shoving it aside, without actually ‘tapping’ on to it in the moment and just typing it out.

Okay, so this is the beginning of the end of me as the patriotic inhabitant of Procrasti-Nation – and this time it’s either I get it done or I swallow the already created consequences in the moment.

 

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157. Wishing Well as Self Interest

Prayer as the Good doer character.

And the word in relation to ‘Good’ and ‘doing good’ is impair. And the first memory that popped up was how from the first day of school, we – my mother, my sisters and I, would pray ‘Our Father’ on our way to school which was the one and only daily approach I had toward the particular idea of ‘god’ as ‘our father.’ What’s peculiar about this is that we would add a few more verses wherein we would specially thank ‘god’ for taking care of ourselves and giving us food to eat – and the very last line was something along the lines of ‘and we specially ask you to take care of fill in the blank with impaired person/ problematic situation’ and this was usually the ‘awareness’ point of the day with regards to for example, some family member that was sick or having financial difficulties, mostly health problems and at the very end: ‘and for the children that have nothing to eat.’ And this is quite shocking now that I see it, how after thanking and praying/ honoring this almighty force at the very end we would pray for poor people, sick people, starving children = the impaired ones. And the feeling that I remember of this was a constant ‘ingrained’ sadness whenever we would remember about ‘the impaired ones’ in our prayers, while seeing such reality on the streets and once again, me just sitting comfortably next to my mother on her car and having a ‘cool life’ while believing that I was somehow a Good person because ‘Hey, at least I pray every day for Everyone’s well being, including those that have no money and no bread to eat every day.’

And within this, I can see the conflict toward poor people as a negative experience within me toward them – meaning experiencing sadness, sorrow and powerlessness – yet, I would also create an experience of compassion as a way to pretend that I care, but as we know: feeling bad, sorry and praying for ‘poor people’ changes nothing at all in this world. It in fact only exists as a ‘good-doer’ personality wherein we believe that we are somehow reaching ‘god’ through giving a shout out for people that have no money to live well, instead of ever pondering how it is that such people are deliberately left to starve or live on the streets and even worse, they have become part of the statistics that measure the economical development of a country.

 

Yes, I was probably only 4-5 years old when this routine began and probably ended when I was probably 11 or so. It was ‘the’  prayer, the only prayer we would do as that was given by Jesus and not the rest of the ‘blatant liars’ that  I was taught the church as institution was. So, I’d probably have to walk my relationship to Jesus at some point, and all the absolute draining experiences I would get whenever the ‘holy week’ would come and all these movies about his life simply saddened me a lot, while at the same time astonishing me in a way that was quite peculiar to relate to.  I guess that the relationship toward ‘those that killed Jesus’ as evil was realized in such movies, to what extent humans could be so vile to do all of that, and at that age one cannot really ‘fathom’ the whole thing – and it is certainly only now that we realize how we have ALL been the ones that crucified Jesus as the representation of the physical being nailed by the mind that drains the physical to live. A shocking story? Yes, more than any horror movie flick, really, because we’ve lived this/ embodied this without ever even been able to see/ realize or understand how we have always been silently killing us ‘softly’.

 

how such prayers can actually be conducted in a way wherein it becomes like a broken record, even though I used to imprint what I mimicked from my parents as  ‘faith and devotion’ toward that moment of the day which was ‘solemn’ in all ways – it was just 2 minutes of our day dedicated to ‘god,’ and that was the closest I got to religion throughout childhood, at least the catholic one – teenage years, another story as I went into a Jesuit school where the ‘good doer’ character will be very interesting to walk now that I see. For now, let’s walk the initial imprint of prayer as ‘doing good.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that praying as in saying words to wish for another’s ‘well being’ was in fact doing something ‘good’ to them, instead of realizing how within praying I was only creating a positive experience in relation to ‘thinking of others’ which is precisely what prayer is, just thinking, wishing and hoping for something or someone to ‘fix the problem’ toward and for those that we ‘include in our prayers,’ without ever questioning why it is that if there was ‘benevolent god,’ there was no ability to create solutions for those ‘in need’/ impaired ones, instead of having to be speaking out loud pleads to a non visible entity to do it for them.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I was closer to god/ heaven and ultimately a ‘good kid’ because of taking 2 minutes of our day to ‘pray for the well being of everyone’ including our family members, people that starve and have no money to live, without ever actually questioning why it is that we only care about ‘our family’ and why it is that the poor/ starving/ abused ones have no solution provided by ourselves as society, and instead only deviate the point to a non-existent/ invisible force to apparently do it for us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually believe that I was in fact a ‘good person’ because of praying, without ever realizing or even considering how manipulative it is to create an experience of benevolence at the expense of those that in fact suffer and are in pain, with no money/ no support, no care from anyone within the same society wherein a vast majority would rather pray like me, and learn how to ‘ask god’ to solve the problems instead of seeing the common sense of how it is possible for us to exist within this comfortable blindfold of prayer without seeing any result from it at all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever feel that I was a ‘good kid’ when becoming sad or feel ‘powerless’ about people that had no money, wherein I believed then that it was ‘a gift from god’ the fact that I was able to have a family, food, school, and essentially money from my parents to live, without ever really questioning the point further and taking parental answers as ‘truth’ to ‘make sense’ of the world, wherein I believed that people with ‘bad luck/ bad life’ were in fact ‘paying’ some sort of sin/ wrong doings in their life, which is how I accepted the law of karma as a way to justify poverty, abuse and ‘all the evil’ in the world in separation of myself, while proudly and modestly believing/ inferring that ‘I’ then was a ‘good person’ and had been a good person in past lives because I was having a good life in this life.

And it’s even the belief in past lives having an actual ‘weight/ meaning’ upon who I am today, which was also part of the belief system of spiritualism which I was more familiar with/ accepted more as a ‘truth’ due to familial relationships and acquiring such belief as ‘THE Truth’ as opposed to catholic church and any other belief that would indicate that I had to feel ‘guilty’ for my sins. I instead would embrace this ‘benevolence’ when/while ‘dedicating’ some time of my day to pray for those that have no money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to pray as a credit/ credo/ belief added to myself in order to accumulate ‘benevolent points’ so that I could possibly get to a ‘heaven’ in the afterlife and then, possibly get a ‘better life experience in my next life,’ which is basically me acting in absolute self interest to only pray for ‘those in need’ in order to make myself feel good, feel like ‘I care’ and within that, feel good at the expense of those that actually suffer and that till this day, we hold the absolute responsibility to create a world system that is in fact able to Respond to their needs as a living right that must be given at birth, to support all beings equally as one – and this is not only a word-principle, but must begin within myself, to equalize myself as the life that I thought I could only ‘ask’ / pray or ‘wish good’ for instead of realizing that life is a physical aspect of living wherein no thought, no positive thinking, no ‘good wishing’ can in fact change the current situation of neglect, abuse and sorrow that is lived in the flesh of everyone in this world that is currently bound to money to life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within this belief o doing good through praying/ wishing well to others, create a fluffy nice positive experience after the immediate shame/ guilt/ compassion would come when realizing that there were beings that had no food to eat, no school to go to, no parents, no house, no water and as such, thinking and accepting the belief that ‘god’ would somehow support them and take them out of the misery, which is a crime against life to abdicate our responsibility toward the impaired beings in society through believing that ‘they will be supported by a god, and somehow their problems would be fixed, without ever actually understanding, investigating or realizing how it is our responsibility as humans as co-creators of this world to ensure that all beings are supported, as there will be no need to pray for a god to save that which is physically here and able to be supported within a system that ensures All beings are equally supported, as the actual message of Jesus and Equality that has been crucified for so long in fact.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never ask why it is that I was able to be comfortably praying and asking things to a god for those in need and what it is that made me different to them and that prevented them/ the impaired ones from having my comfort, my position, my money/parents to live as I do and instead, blindly accepted the belief that I simply had to ‘do good/ wish them well’ and the problem would be apparently sorted out.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see prayer as something solemn and of great respect, without realizing how the entire prayer was a plea of self interest to only care for me/ my loved ones, that which ‘I care’ and that which ‘I am aware of,’ while wearing a suit of being a ‘good girl that cares for others,’ while in fact my actions, words and deeds throughout the day were of competition, rivalry, spitefulness and blatant self interest to always win no matter what, which are the behavioral patterns that are simply placed aside whenever wearing the ‘good doer’ personality. And within this also shoving aside the awareness of what I was doing in fact, as I became pretty aware of me being ‘double headed’ in terms of believing myself to be good and then seeing the absolute opposite existent within me, but somehow accept it because : everyone else was doing the same, and so I stopped questioning my own ‘two-faced value’ and neglected the reality that is here as myself, in every moment throughout my entire days.

 

I commit myself to Stop within me any sensation of ‘feeling good’ and even creating an entire benevolent character of myself whenever I see myself supporting someone o something to get done, as I realize that it is effective to at all times see these points as my responsibility, my self-commitment to life as one and equal, instead of doing it ‘for someone/ something’ in separation of myself.

 

I commit myself to see where and how even now, even if there are no more prayers or beliefs in some ‘outer source,’ the belief of doing good has become a ‘positive experience’ within me whenever I am looking for/ after my self interest instead of realizing that all that I do and that I don’t do has an effect and consequence for the whole to which I am equally a part of – hence, self responsibility implies no more creating experiences at a mind level within the ‘good doer’ character that only cares about its own ‘goodness’ and ‘inner peace’ while the world is in chaos, created by ourselves.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the commitment to live, work and do what we all were supposed to have done, been and lived by which is the law of Life in Equality in all ways, wherein there will be obviously no way to ‘gain points’ of ‘good doing’ through praying, there will be no positive experiences done from giving money/ charity to the impaired ones, there will be no need to hope and wish for something/ some benevolent force to solve the problems of the world as we will ensure that WE take responsibility for such problems in the world system, because we have accepted them, we have allowed them and as such, it is impossible now to turn a blind eye and pretend that thinking positive/praying/ asking the universe for things can in any way give food, water, shelter, clothes, education to those that have non.

 

this will continue…

 

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156. Can we be Benevolent in any way?

What is the quote that allowed me to understand Self Honesty?

 

“Self honesty is not nice or beautiful”- Bernard Poolman 

 

And this was already over 4 years ago, wherein I realized that I was certainly Not going to be ‘in for a ride’ to make myself ‘feel good’ or ‘be better’ or ‘gain’ anything within this process that could be mistaken/labeled as ‘personal improvement’ or any other point like that to vaingloriously elevate ourselves above others in this hierarchical system in an elaborate mind-delusion  of ‘betterment,’ No.

This process is actually going inside our own self-created hell for a ride and walking through it until we’re eventually done taking the ‘heat’ that we produce with our own friction as ‘the problem’ that we seem to have become so used to having as human beings: inner conflict, ‘mental instability,’ self esteem problems, social-dysfunctions, inability to create proper relationships, being pathological liars and cheaters, greedyall existing in our minds as ‘our nature,’ that we try and hide all the time through creating/ keeping a ‘good face’ and ‘positive attitude’ toward the world/ others for our own benefit. This is how we can simply look within ourselves every single time that we’ve made ourselves believe that we are ‘good’ and ‘good hearted’ or even sometimes, climbing up a serious delirium about being ‘a savior’ of some kind –yes like the thousands of self-proclaimed Jesuses and Antichrists that play the same role when it comes to ‘saving humanity’ which is nothing else but another ‘Sign of the Times’ where we’re facing the actual reality of who we are as our own mind.

 

What does this mean?

 

That this process that we’re walking of Self Honesty implies getting to see the nitty-gritty-dirty and gruesome aspect of ourselves, and I am deliberately using these words because they are in fact the consequence that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become from the moment that we accepted ourselves to only be ‘our mind,’ and the mind standing as and only for its own survival. This is plain evident in on the daily news that we are sharing within the Capitalism vs. Equal Money Group in Facebook that I suggest you check out as well, which encompasses the outflows of this mind-possessed reality as our current world system that is certainly unsustainable and must be realized as such in order for us to in fact take responsibility for it, which is what the Equal Money System implies within this process as well.

 

Now, ‘selfishness’ is the word that comes to mind and in the dictionary as well, which pointed out Egomania, a topic I had briefly written about before and the definition of the dictionary I consulted read: “Extreme self interest” and that’s essentially what we have become. This world is our reflection as egomaniacs, because if we in fact cared about ‘the Whole’ as who we are, we would have already changed the current system that is built as the image and likeness of who and what we have become within the idea of ‘As long as I am alright, I don’t care about the rest’ – and this becoming the blueprint to promote even more exacerbated states of selfishness/ egomania motivating our every move, our every word, every thing we consume, think and act upon during the day is motivated by this desire to always ‘get the most of the cake.’

Hence walking in Self Honesty this process is actually daring to see the true-workings behind seemingly ‘benevolent’ tasks or ‘good deeds’ during the day, which maybe you as I , as human beings that accepted ‘the positive’ as this supposed noble-quality of ourselves (yeah, right) without actually daring to see how in wanting to ‘do good’/ be good toward others, we have in fact neglected our ‘equality and oneness’ to only take our claws out and scavenge it all for our own benefit, while being willing to ‘exterminate’ any form of opposition and competition that prevents us from ‘getting what we want.’ And, what we have recently realized as Desteni is that fears actually were cover ups for this realization of Self Interest being the Force that moves us all which means that all points of fears are actually stemming from a desire, want and need to get something for ourselves/ our Own benefit.

Within Fear, we remain as ‘victims’ which somehow within our minds makes us seemingly ‘not responsible’ for what we define ‘Happens to us’ instead of us realizing how we are Creating it as ourselves. I mean, it’s become even like a spoken language malfunction – an example is whenever I have caught myself saying ‘This happened to me’ instead of saying ‘I created this point within myself/ I allowed this to happen in my reality/ I was unaware when doing this and so I created that’ – which is an absolute point to turn the tables and see that we have in fact been ‘the source’ of all our evil and malice naively called ‘bad luck’ as well.

 

So, if anyone has any concept about the Apocalypse or judgment day being this glorious sublime type of scenario with some red skies and some gigantic planet hitting the Earth to eradicate it all… well, I must be the one that debunks such parody – which was my own at some point as well – and instead look at what it is that we are in fact doing within/ as ourselves: facing the actual evil nasty and venomous creatures that we have become, that our Real Self Revelation.“What? Me? Nooo, Never! I am such a good person, I’d never do ANYTHING like that!’

Well, it’s time to stop kidding ourselves about our apparent ‘benevolence’ and instead, dare to walk our own evil within the understanding that good/ bad can only sustain a morality construct that in no way supports Life – and instead we ‘keep in mind’ that there is an actual True Principle we can guide and direct ourselves by: what is best for all in all ways, at all times as a declaration of who and what we are here to establish ourselves as, because we’ve Never been living under such principle, at all. This is how and why the material as the Reptilian Series, the Atlanteans and the Secret History of the Universe have been of great support to understand that we in fact are in a crucial time in this existence, on this planet to – for Once and for All – establish ourselves as the living-realization of how this existence and real life can only emerge if we in fact consider each other as equals, and all Evil within ourselves is walked within this process of Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty.

 

We are here to Breathe and realize that it is not to take this point personal either or creating YET another reaction/ character toward seeing our “gruesome” aspects, it is about finally understanding that unless we embrace the totality of who we are – which practically means: getting to know ourselves as our mind and walking the good and the bad through Self-Forgiveness and Self-Honesty with Self Corrective Application, we won’t get ourselves ‘out of this.’

We are prepared to do this, because we have the tools, we are a group that supports each other to do this as well, as we have seen and walked for ourselves what a ‘breakdown’ this may cause at some points when realizing that everything we have ever believed ourselves to be was not in fact ‘real’ as it was never built upon an equal and one understanding of ourselves as the mind, as the physical, as energy, as substance, as our physical body and existence as a whole. 

 

This is thus looking at the ‘greater picture’ which is something I suggest ‘keeping in mind’ in order to walk this process unconditionally, as I have seen and realized for myself as well how we tend to lose perspective in terms of why we are walking this process, what does it mean to walk an individual process and an existential process as a whole as well – and that is in fact what the Desteni I Process implies when it comes to realizing our point of responsibility with ourselves/ existence as a whole to then base our application/ the totality of what we walk here as self correction on this single premise: we are here to establish an Equal and One Living Realization of who we really are as what we have never in fact lived-as, which is Life in Equality. This begins within ourselves and debunking any ‘good doing’ is necessary in order to remove this ‘nice façade’ that we’ve built of ourselves, face our demons, self forgive all the good and the bad to finally establish within/as ourselves What’s Best for All Life.

This is an introduction and I have to thank Mr. Anu for sharing this process/his process with us to also begin working with our own patterns.

The interviews at Eqafe are:

These have been REAL eye openers here and the very fact that it took me a day to get to this already implies there was a resistance to walk through to start getting onto this. 

 

And, to answer to the question proposed as the title of this blog, at ‘face value’ I can say that benevolence is not yet existent and that we are literally creating it not as a ‘good doing’ in terms of projecting halos upon ourselves as that’s the worst type of deception that can exist in fact, thus this ‘benevolence’ can only acquire a common sensical meaning wherein what matter is living/ directing ourselves to be and become the equality and oneness as living-flesh that we are, and that means: walking this process of Self Realization through Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty to only then realize/ see and understand the actual implications of who we are/ what we have become as the mind in the physical and How we can practically walk the necessary corrections in fact. This is also supported by Heaven’s Journey to Life , Creation’s Journey To Life blogs and many others walking the 7 Year Journey to Life daily blogs wherein as a group, we ensure we share this process with anyone else that is willing to also face themselves, take Self Responsibility for our creation and as such, dare to LIVE – which is certainly the path we’re walking at the moment and is yet ‘to be realized/ known/ seen/ understood – however, this is walked breath by breath, moment by moment until it is done, not losing our ‘ground’ nor the attention on the feet that we stand upon: physical support to face the mind ‘chaos’ that we’ve become – and that’s our certainly, that’s our point of Self Trust: no matter what, we are here and we face what we are/ have become and whatever may come as the consequences of our own creation – only then will we see if we are in fact able to be/become benevolent as a living realization of who we are in every moment of physically being here.

Let’s walk

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154. The Ladder of Success is Self Abuse

Consumerism is Self-Consumption

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the belief that buying is a pleasant experience and a hobby, wherein one learn to see the act of consuming as a a fulfilling experience that satisfies and quenches that seemingly constant ‘void’ that is perceived when there is no energetic experience going on within us, which is how we have defined energy as Living instead of understanding how it is that these energetic experiences in fact lead us to our very own depletion/consumption and eventual death, as all energy implies the consumption of the physical, the burning of the fuel that is the physical in order to create what we only see as a ‘fulfilling/ pleasant/ satisfying experience,’ because no one on Earth had even known how it is that this process of Thinking actually goes through, and it is now that we have the information through the material available at Eqafe such as the Quantum Mind Series that we are able to understand how everything that we have ever thought is implying a form of abuse toward ourselves as the physicality that we really are, all in the name of an experience that only goes up in the mind, without no apparent further consequence other than a momentary high which is what we have in fact become addicted to: Energy as a make-believe ‘living experience’ while ignoring the actual gruesome reality that goes behind every single thought that we participate on, which implies our own self-consumption.

This is the point that we had not realized when labeling ‘consumerism as a pleasant experience’ and not seeing/ realizing and understanding How such pleasant experience is created and what is actually enabling this experience, which is and can only exist if ‘something else gives It/ provides it which in this case is the physical that is literally ‘nailed’ just like Jesus on the cross in order to give that ‘kingdom of god’ that we have foolishly defined as money, wealth and the experience that we have defined through/as money as happiness, fulfillment, power, satisfaction as the saturation of energy that we have foolishly ‘bought’ to be ‘real’ in any way, because we have ignored our own physicality as the actual equality and oneness as life, as the actual source of that experience that we believe is ‘who we are,’ due to not seeing, realizing and understanding how the mind works in relation to the physical body and how it runs like an engine gnawing our very own physical tissue to keep its energetic functions going – all of this is explained in the Frog Series that I suggest listening to in order to understand consumerism as a point of self abuse and how we have the actual capacity to correct this points within a new system like the Equal Money System beginning with Ourselves as that equal and one relationship developed within our mind toward the physical.

 

When and as I see myself participating in the thought of ‘Buying is a Pleasant experience’ and projecting this judgment upon others to see them as ‘ignorant,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have been absolutely ignorant to the actual understanding of how all ‘Positive Experiences’ are created at the expense of the physical which is the sacrificial rite that we do on a daily basis whenever we think and only follow our own personal benefit/ happiness point, while believing that we are enhancing our ‘living experience’ and ‘evolution’ in ourselves, without understanding how we are actually sacrificing our own flesh and living substance due to the accepted and allowed belief that thinking, having feelings and emotions is something ‘natural’ to the human being.

We have been oblivious to what extent we have abused ourselves/ all that is here whenever we simply consider it was very easy to follow energy as ‘living,’ which is the necessary education that must be taken on in our reality so that we can in fact, at last, understand that this current system of consumerism based on linking consuming/ buying to a positive experience is an evidently unsustainable system, wherein we only see the ‘nice’ and ‘positive’ and ‘attractive’ points as the final product made for our own benefit, while neglecting the actual gruesome reality that goes behind the entire production process and extraction of prime matter – nice way to name the Earth’s resources – in order to transform it/ configure it in a way that we impose our wants, needs and desires toward this satisfaction/ fulfilling point as a positive experience that we have believed is ‘all that we are here for in our lives,’ while missing out every moment of actual living here in Equality and Oneness as the physical, as Breath, simply because we trained/educated ourselves to only regard Energy as Living.

And this you can understand in the series the Crucifixion of Jesus in the chapter number 7 that speaks about this ‘Ladder of Success’

 

I commit myself to stop judging and within this reinforcing the same mechanisms of separation that we have participated in, which implies using our minds to assess/ value/ define this physical reality in terms and way that we benefit ourselves from, due to the premise of accepting life as an energetic experience –thus it is to educate myself to ensure that I am aware of how it is that I have become what we can see in each one of ourselves and this world in its entirety as the outflow and consequence of our own accepted and allowed perception of life being an energetic experience that is either positive or negative, and within this, exposing how it is that our own wants, needs and desires became manifested as every single product that we are able to BUY now with money that is not readily available/ given to all unconditionally, which is indicating how we have separated ourselves from our very own physicality as this entire world through a belief system in our minds, that sustains our entire economical model at the moment – this is no different to the thinking pattern of believing that buying/ consuming a single thing to own/ possess/ eat/ wear/ use is what ‘living’ is about (which is how we have defined living as an experience) wherein we diminish ourselves to being only ‘thinking’ instead of breathing and understanding the physicality as who we really are and how we consume it while thinking/ following our thoughts.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when entering a mall/ commercial center/ market, and seeing all the plethora of things there are to buy and its wide variety, I get the pictures of the media and how they present similar products wherein then I access a thinking-pattern to blame the media for ‘brainwashing us,’ without realizing how there is Nothing in this world that was made ‘by the hand of a god,’ we are all responsible for it and that implies that we created the media in order to constantly create new needs/ desires within people in order to fulfill and satisfy the exigencies that we’ve established as a monetary system that requires constant consumption to continue going, which is very clear how our current system is energy-driven as an abusive relationship upon the physical, instead of having created and established and agreed upon a world system wherein we can support one another as equals, standings As the equality and oneness that we in fact are, but that we didn’t do because we accepted the mind to be the one that dictates ourselves in relationships of separation toward everything and all that is here, which is why and how Media is so effective, as it presents a relationship of separation creating a desire/ want/ need in terms of buying/ consuming products in the name of getting a positive experience out of it, and us accepting that as ‘Real’ and ‘True’ because of our own accepted and allowed separation from this physical reality through an energetic experience created in our minds toward that point that we then call our ‘desire/ want/ need’

This implies that all we are currently following is our own self interest, without understanding how such cultivation of personal-needs/ special needs are only existent for those that have money and that form part of the ‘active participants in society’ wherein money has defined who is valuable to the system to perpetuate its functioning and who’s not, thus using Media to create an incentive for ourselves to enter the ‘realm of happiness’/ become part of the Elite where money buys the smiles and fulfillment, using money that is also a belief system of abuse due to it being created only out of thin air with its main purpose being the control and centralization of power for a few, while entertaining ‘the masses’ to contribute to this through entertainment/ media in order to continually go seeking for theses positive experiences that are linked to the ideal image/ presentation of successful living  of those that sit in the royal chairs of ‘power and control’ within the same configured system of ‘power’ = ‘money,’ which is actually only a make-believe system, hence: NO power is real, no money is Real but what is Real is the abuse that we inflict upon ourselves every time that we diminish ourselves to Believing that such money is in fact ‘powerful’ and that owning/ possessing something/ someone is in fact making ourselves ‘more’ than who we already here – this happening every time that we follow a single desire to acquire, buy and consume in means of personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to blame something or someone for the current state of reality we’re living in, in separation of myself – I stop and I breathe – I realize that we are ‘specialists’ in projecting blame toward others for being ‘the villain’ and ‘the bad guydoing this to ourselves, without understanding how it is that we created our own reasons and justifications to perpetuate a system wherein self interest is the main cultivated aspect of ‘who we are’ as human beings, wherein everything that we have created and configured as our world system – money, policies, economy, education, religions, leisure, science, technology – is directed to benefit and please only a fraction of the population that have enough money to really have a good life, which is the main primary point that is promoted through media/ ads everywhere, infiltrating what’s cunningly called ‘public opinion’ to create a commonly accepted ‘standard living’ in society based Not on a common well being and direct understanding and interaction with nature/ the Earth, the animal kingdom as part of ‘who we are,’ but instead diminished everything to only being a consuming-aspect to keep up the ‘satisfaction’ experience within ourselves as our mind which must be understood as the very mechanism of self-depletion that we run on a daily basis, being the relationship of who we are as the mind toward the physical the actual point to investigate  and learn about, to understand How we have made of consumption to sustain our physicality an entire mind-created experience linked to getting ‘the most of it all’ and defining such point of abuse as ‘power’ without understanding a thing about the current monetary system wherein such power can in fact only stem from the abuse inflicted to all of the Earth’s resources, animal kingdom, humanity as well in order to ‘keep running’ this entire machinery that we have called a ‘living system,’ which is in fact not at all so, because we have not  yet established our individual understanding of equality and oneness as this physical reality which is then why and how

I commit myself to support myself to continue understanding who I am in relation to the world system, how my very own thoughts/ participation in emotions and feelings and defining this entire reality according to a value-system wherein the monetary system I have believed to have any ‘solid foundation’ is in fact determining my own relationship to other beings, things and the world in itself, due to us having accepted and allowed ourselves to diminish who we are to a set of predefined, predetermined, finite relationships based on energetic experiences such as power, success, happiness through consumption which must be first of all understood as the relationship that we have created within ourselves toward our own mind in separation of the physicality that we are, which is the first step to consider if we see and realize how our own system is flawed from the very beginning of its creation, and our existence as a whole, because we separated ourselves from each other and developing relationships toward one another and giving it a value, which is the premise that lead us to currently desire, want and need such experience of ‘reuniting’ as a possession/ consumption point instead of an equal and one relationship and understanding of who we are as equal and one to that point of desire, want and need.

 

Walk with us in our Journey To Life and to establish a living-common-sense in our reality through a Monetary Reform that that we can All participate in through democratic means, simply by externalizing our awareness of how this entire world system is a scam that we have all been participants of and within that, taking responsibility for the consequences we’ve created through establishing a life-considerate system as the Equal Money System, so that we can re-establish our relationships to ourselves, the world/ each other in Equality and no more create belief systems of ‘power’ and ‘success’ only through accepting life being limited to a single energetic experience that can only exist through the abuse of the physical through the mind.

Time to Wake the fuck up!

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152. Human Race Embarrassment: Shame on Us

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use embarrassment as an emotion and thinking pattern to dissociate myself from that which I see and create an experience toward it in an attempt to separate myself from others and deny that ‘I am them as well,’ which has been a pattern throughout my life to do ‘everything I can’ to be unlinked to anyone that I have deemed as too embarrassing and barbaric to even realize they are a part of that which is here as humanity, the race of beings that I am also a part of.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional experience toward the actions, thoughts, words and deeds of fellow human beings as points of abuse toward oneself/ another/ the animal kingdom/ the Earth itself, without realizing how with me thinking and judging ourselves as humanity I am in fact only reinforcing the same systematic abuse wherein ‘who we are’ is reduced to only knowledge and information that I have separated myself from as pictures, images, thoughts, attitudes, habits that we have diminished ourselves when acting out/ living through a limited ‘frame of reality’ that we have established as ‘who we are,’ daring to even compare/ rate/ value/ regard everyone and everything in separation of ourselves.

 

When and as  I see myself experiencing embarrassment upon viewing/ hearing/ reading/ witnessing a human beings’ actions and words in/ as a point of abuse toward oneself, I stop and I breathe. I realize that me judging another through my mind is an equally abusive point that in no way assists and supports the being to realize the point of separation that’s being created and acted upon through the dictatorship of the mind that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I realize that as long as I continue reinforcing an experience toward witnessing/ viewing/ hearing/ getting to know of a point of abuse that we as human beings have perpetrated against fellow human beings, the animal kingdom and our reality, it means that I haven’t unconditionally let go/ forgiven myself for what I have accepted and allowed to exist as ourselves, as individuals  that have used the mind to separate ourselves further and further from the actuality of who we are, from any relationship of ourselves toward ourselves, fellow beings, as we can only exist within the mind-frame of embarrassment/ shame as judgment that can only exist if I also reduce myself to only being and becoming an emotional experience of embarrassments as ‘who I am’ in the moment.

Thus, I commit myself to stop supporting any form of judgment/backchat/ gossip about and toward any being that is acting out/ living a point of self-abuse, as I see and realize that me judging makes no difference to ‘them’ and instead, only reinforces ‘my’ individual perspective as a point of separation in the form of an experience created through thoughts in my mind of shame and embarrassment, which can only exist if one exists as thoughts, emotions and feelings to create an idea of myself being ‘correct’ as in being superior/ better than the other part that is being judged – I instead assist and support myself to self forgive the point of separation and walk as breath to ensure that I stop supporting any form of separation through assessing ‘who I am’ as the mind and instead, equalize myself as the physicality that is here through breathing.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand shame as a point that I can use as a way to see how unconditional self forgiveness is the point wherein I can absolutely let go of the judgment toward any and all parts that I have separated myself from and instead, assist and support myself to ensure stopping patterns of recrimination and inferiority exerted toward others within/ through thinking, which is in itself an activity that we have accepted and allowed as ‘normal’ without realizing that: as long as we think, here are not Here as the physical moment of breath and instead we’re only separating ourselves from each other as the actuality of who we really are.

(Read Heaven’s Journey To Life blog for more: Thought Designs – Introduction: DAY 152)

 

When and as I see myself existing as shame and embarrassment toward ourselves as human beings upon hearing, watching, witnessing or reading about the abuse that we have imposed and inflicted upon ourselves and this entire existence – I stop and I breathe – I realize the experiences of shame and embarrassment as ways to only care about ‘how I think others/ how I ‘feel’ about something and someone,’ which is only existent within Me at a thought level, which leads to further laxity toward our own thinking when viewing it as a ‘normal reaction upon abuse,’ and within this missing the actual point which is how through thinking we create our own possessions upon the physical as a continued form of self-abuse.

I realize that as long as I participate in any form of thinking and judging others in separation of myself, I am in fact not supporting them/ myself to realize a point of self-correction, but only deviate the point of responsibility that I hold toward myself as my own accepted and allowed participation in thoughts, feelings and emotions – thus

I commit myself to stop any emotional experience of embarrassment as an emotional experience created upon witnessing/ reading/ viewing a point of abuse toward oneself/ others in order to take responsibility for my own thoughts, my own participation in the mind as that is what I in fact am able to change/ direct and align to what is best for all. I realize that I cannot change another’s actions, thoughts, words, but I can only remain standing as an example of what is possible to be and become when we do not allow ourselves to be ‘driven’ by an experience in our minds and as such, unconditionally also let go of any point of judgment exerted toward others that triggered the experience within me, as I see and realize I am the starting point of such experience, not ‘them.’

 

Furthermore it is to realize how this embarrassment toward all the points we read in the news and in our day to day living experiences in reality when becoming aware of a point of abuse can instead be directed to ensure that we do not only remain as ‘victims’ and ‘judges’ of our reality, but instead take such points as demon.strations that we ensure we stop and take self responsibility for in any away within ourselves, as we see/ realize and understand that as long as we continue thinking, becoming emotional and creating further thoughts about something/ someone, we are only standing in an equal-manner to the mind possession/ point of abuse that is being judged; within this we can see how we as humanity tend to judge each other for the atrocities that are committed without understanding the source and origin of such abuse being one and the same within all individuals/ human beings that currently exist as the dissociation of the mind in relation to the physical, which once again brings the importance of getting to know ourselves as our mind, as the physical and as such, create a point of reference to see where and how we have separated ourselves from every part that is here through us ‘thinking’ reality instead of standing one and equal as it to actually see in fact and understand any point of abuse that is existent at the seemingly ‘innocent’ level of a thought.

It is time for us to look into ourselves at all times to see if what we say, think, act and participate in is an expression that we are willing to stand as for eternity – we are actively and practically walking our mind to establish a final directive point within ourselves within the principle of what is best for all, which cannot contain a point of judgment/ projected blame toward others as ‘the abusers’ for we would understand how any point of abuse is in fact self abuse as the mechanisms that allow such abuse are existent in each one of us as well, thus we are all equally responsible and that responsibility begins toward ourselves as our own mind.

 

Self Respect as the Living Realization of what this Process is about can be walked with individualized assistance and support to ensure that one in fact acts upon one’s own Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application in one’s world and reality:

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150. Meeting my Mirror = Equalizing the Reflection

Continuing with 149. Meeting my Mirror = My Error

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements to face myself as another in my reality playing out character that I used to live-as in order to equalize our application within common sensical/ practical living considerations that are physically based and not mind-obsessive based

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an immediate kinship toward someone that I perceive is ‘similar to me’ in terms of my old habits about cleaning which I had regarded as ‘unique’ or ‘not so common,’ thus when finding someone that presents the ‘same symptoms,’ I create an immediate understanding of their experience and expression stemming from the ‘who I am’ as such character – thus

When and as I see myself immediately ‘liking’ someone because they represent an aspect of myself that I had considered being a virtue, I stop and I breathe. I realize that we are able to communicate and establish a cool point of communication without now creating a point of separation toward ‘others’ as ‘those that do not commune with our cleanliness’ and within that, instigating separation between the members of the house. .

I realize that I am able to establish a point of support for ourselves through communicating/ interacting without reinforcing any point of separation based on the ‘who we are’ as cleanliness characters.

I commit myself to communicate and develop a relationship that is not based on ‘being similar characters’  – we’ve represented within being the ‘clean’ persons, but instead assist and support myself to be open to communicate with everyone here without creating a point of separation within my mind now that ‘I’ve got someone to communicate with that’s similar to me,’ as that would be reinforcing a point of separation that is not necessary to ‘embody’ as I realize that if the actions and patterns can be directed within a common sensical point of application that’s best for all, then we do so, as that is in the best interest of all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience within me for having someone to ‘backup my cleanliness’ and thinking that ‘I am not alone anymore’ within my cleaning habits in the house, instead of realizing that I have actually worked with becoming more flexible and establishing a point of laxity in terms of being ‘too picky’ when it comes to cleanliness – thus

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I am now not alone in my cleaning habits/ patters as someone else is now supporting them with the same zeal, I stop and I breathe. I consider the process that I have walked in order to not be ‘that’ obsessed about cleaning and the time that I have actually walked to – bit by bit – stop reacting to patterns of ‘uncleanliness’ which I then take into consideration to within this new acquaintance not reinforce them to ‘get back to the obsessive-compulsive behavior of cleaning all the time – thus

 

I commit myself to become an example of how one can be and become less ‘concerned’ about dirtiness the whole time and also take into consideration the practicality of keeping a space as clean as possible when living with other people that do not subscribe to ‘cleanliness perfection,’ – thus it is to establish a point of balance wherein only common sensical measures with a proper  ‘leeway’ to ensure that no polarity of cleanliness/ uncleanliness is the directive starting point, but simple common sensical sustenance of our environment in common areas that we live in.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel ‘good’ about finding someone that is ‘as clean as myself/ even cleaner than me’ as that indicates that ‘I am not the only one crazy here,’ which would be reinforcing the cleanliness character that I have assisted and supported myself to slowly but surely become more supple on, to not be as rigid as I used to in terms of reacting in anger and contempt when finding dirt/ not seeing everything ‘sparkling clean.’ Thus

When and as I see myself creating a point of resort in another for ‘supporting my patterns of cleanliness’ to then reinforce my application, I stop and I breathe. I realize that creating this point of separation would be like going back to an obsessive-compulsive aspect of myself that I have worked with to stop and correct within an equal and one consideration of others living in the same environment, and within this, becoming more flexible when it comes to cleaning habits.

 

I commit myself to remain walking my process of establishing a point of common sense of when to direct someone to clean/ when to be flexible and not react/ demand immediate action, as I realize that I have to consider others within this process of understanding that a habit that’s best for all/ supportive such as marinating an environment the best way possible is an actual practical living-educational aspect that won’t be established overnight as I have to consider other people’s contexts and life experiences wherein I cannot ‘change them’ to immediately apply/do/ act as I say, but instead have to create a point of understanding within the consideration of what is best for all living in the house at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to create a cleanliness character of ‘compulsive purity’ wherein I would become possessed in anger and contempt every time that a single ‘dirt footstep’ was impressed on my immaculate white tiling,’ which became a constant point of worry and concern that I did not see as an exaggeration at times, but something that was in accordance to me wanting to exist in a ‘perfect picture presentation’ of myself as the external world, while actually existing with a lot of shit inside myself – which is something that I had not considered how I tried to ‘wash myself’ from the outside and have this perfect-picture presentation, but not daring to actually see what patterns I was living as, what experiences I was going through and feeding through other addictive patterns and relationships at the time that I would actually ‘shove away’ through this compulsive outside cleaning.

When and as I see myself cleaning in a compulsive manner again, I stop and I breathe – I can see and understand that this is a pattern that I actually created as a ‘coping mechanism’ toward a point in my reality that I would try to suppress and cover up with compulsively cleaning and being constantly ‘watchful’ of cleanliness, which I recognize becomes a constant point of preoccupation and concern in the mind, instead of being here as breath.

I commit myself to instead walk the process of ‘cleaning’ myself from the inside to see how and why I externalized that process as a way to ‘entertain’ myself with the Idea of cleanliness while existing within a point of suppression to see ‘what’s inside me.’ Thus I assist and support myself to remind myself of this pattern being an actual mind-driven compulsive behavior instead of an actual common sensical consideration, and within this, also assist and support others to see the same points as factors that support us all to live in a way that’s best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to become ‘self righteous’ about my cleaning habits and creating a point of separation to the extent of liking/ disliking people according to ‘how clean they were,’ which has actually been a measuring point within me toward others in a silent/ unspoken and ‘unaware’ manner, wherein I create a point of preference toward anyone that presents a ‘cleanliness’ pattern to which I immediately create a kinship toward and identify such person as someone that ‘I like’ just because it represents an aspect of me that I have believed to be ‘rare’ and ‘special’ and ‘unique,’ which is actually stemming from what I learned from my father in terms of not many people being ‘comfortable’ with cleaning and creating cleaning habits ‘for a lifetime.’

When and as I see myself creating a point of preference, righteousness and specialness toward people that present a similar ‘trait’ to the character I played as ‘the compulsive cleaner,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that identifying people according to the similar characters they play in relation to the points that I’ve considered as ‘unique’ and ‘special’ within me, creates a point of immediate specialness and uniqueness toward such person as a character. thus

I commit myself to be able to recognize similar patterns within others as myself, to assist and support me and others to step out of character to a common sensical application of – in this case – cleaning habits, wherein we do not only consider our ‘point of view’ and living-application, but also others that are not ‘too keen on cleaning’ on the same basis that we do. Thus, it is to establish a point of communication at all times in terms of the points that must be reinforced within taking care of the common areas we share, our assigned duties and as such, ensure that we do not create ‘two teams’ opposing each other within the cleaning habits of the house.

 

It is also a cool point to support others as myself by being an example of an equilibrated application of cleaning habits so that there is no point of judgment and blaming others for dirtiness, but instead consider a practical consideration of cleaning on a regular basis without it being a time consuming and mind-consuming activity that is considered as a ‘must do’ at all times, though becoming aware of any exigencies that are stemming from a character-request and which exigencies are actual common sensical considerations that are based on what is best for all to live in/ as within the common areas we share in the house.

 

I realize that in the past, creating a compulsive behavior toward cleaning lead me to end up living alone because of people not being able to stand ‘walking at my pace’ within my mind-driven obsession. Thus it is to remain within my application of a certain laxity and suppleness when it comes to cleaning, and as such, assist and support others to establish this point of equilibrium as well wherein what is best for all is reinforced and talked through/ communicated about in order to have no excuses/ justifications to not do the necessary work or being ‘over board.’ Thus a point of moderation can be established as practical considerations instead of character-needs that create friction between the two poles leading to eventual conflict and separation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually create a point of ‘shock’ within seeing myself in another in such a clear way wherein the specific use of words, mannerisms and expression reminded me of ‘who I was’ some years ago, which I had not found before and is also a cool point to see how characters work/ manifest in a way wherein

When and as I ‘see myself’ in another presenting a specific pattern that used to define ‘who I am,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that it is not to create now a point of identification based on such similar old patterns, as that would be ‘stepping back’ to the who I was as such character in the past, which for the most part is slowly but surely being debunked – However,  in the cleanliness point I see  and realize how easy it is to ‘reactivate it’ as a point of possession/ obsession if someone else is also reinforcing such pattern within me.

Thus I commit myself to realize that allowing myself to be influenced by another’s application that reinforces similar characters within me is ‘stepping back’ to the old ways which I am busy walking a process of self-equality and oneness of – thus I it is to be and become supportive toward myself and others to establish an equilibrium within our application, and instead focus on working with ‘cleaning ourselves’ and facing the points that require purging/ cleaning within in order to make the outside cleaning an equal and one application of what we do within ourselves as our mind, which will then become not a point of obsession or compulsive behavior, but a practical consideration of what’s best for all to live in/ as – as within so without.

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149. Meeting my Mirror = My Error

Something very interesting has happened in my reality and with a particular timing that is going according to the topics I’ve walked the past two blogs.  A new girl came to live to my house and after all the ‘odd ways’ in which she eventually came to live here – besides the sudden ‘availability’ of space after two people decided to live – she’s been already a cool point of support to almost in a literal way ‘face myself’ even in the couple of hours I have barely interacted with her.

The specific point is that she’s aware of being ‘a tad’ obsessive-compulsive with cleaning, lol. She actually hugged me for having cleaned up the kitchen after I explained how I had cleaned up the kitchen – the whole event that I described in the previous two blogs – which was certainly something that ‘in my mind’ I could not compute, as I had not faced someone as ‘picky’ as I thought myself to be with cleanliness. It brought me back to the memories of ‘who I was’ when I first began living alone – well with another person – in my first apartment, which was before  I began process and pretty much living out what I had ‘downloaded’ as obsessive compulsive patterns from partner and parental habits. 

Back then I was obsessed with cleaning for hours every single Monday on a religious basis. The entire apartment was white so it all was just ‘perfect’ for my then ‘purity’ and ‘spirituality’ that I sought at all times. It was really a luxury for me to have the opportunity to live in such a place and I did ‘make the best of it, however I knew that it could only be sustainable as long as I lived alone, as I would simply ‘maintain’ it clean other than having to clean up someone else’s mess.  That came to and end when I left school for one year to go to the farm.

Today I was recalling and actually telling her my stories about the support I got at the farm in terms of living with several beings – both human and animals. And yes, the stupor as well because I really had a hard time getting used to not living in an immaculate/ museum like place and actually letting go of my absolute obsession with cleaning and fearing germs, etc. I had been aware of being a very picky person, and I probably still would be reserved about being picky in such terms, however it is all part of the Ms. cleanliness character.

So, facing this girl living out the same patterns was quite a cool thing for me, to see where I can support myself as her to go ‘balancing out’ such habits now that I can actually see how someone with the same behavior behaves and does – fascinating. I even saw myself as rather ‘messy’ and ‘dirty’ when it came to seeing how I have in fact become ‘less concerned’ about everything being immaculate when comparing myself to her current stance toward cleaning, and as such, it was quite cool to see who I am when facing another ‘me’ that is quite similar in terms of the backchat/ frontchat about others. I see myself thinking that ‘there will be an appropriate time to begin addressing these points,’ as this is just the beginning of interacting with her.

I also realized the point of ‘liking her’ because I can ‘talk to her’/ ‘have more in common’ as I see myself reflected within the same point and way of thinking that I probably existed as in a very ingrained manner some years ago. In a way I see that I have been able to let go of my religious cleanliness in the past couple of years with more people not being ‘cleaning religious people.’ I realize that I also created a point of laxity about cleanliness due to ‘fearing getting angry’ when things weren’t clean – and so, I see that the starting point of it all in my application was more of tolerance based on personal preferences than actual environmental considerations within applying ‘what’s best for all,’ which is a cool point to also take into consideration.

What’s also interesting is that when talking about forgiveness, she replied about her understanding of it as the exact process of having to – in other words – ‘face your demons’ and taking responsibility to change, which is quite an accurate approximation to this process. However, it is to realize that the positive and the negative are actually patterns of the same coin just seen from different perspectives and angles as the starting point of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ will always be the mind – thus it is to transform the good and bad to a common sensical perspective wherein we can be sure there are no personal considerations/ self interest that can interfere to implement what is best for all.

So, quite a cool coin.cidence and almost like an oddity to get to meet someone that is playing out the character I used to hold oh so proudly about cleaning. The general backchat was ‘we’ll be working through the points as we go’ which means that I have to become aware of not wanting to ‘change’ her, but instead be an example of a way wherein we simply can deal with things without having to judge others for doing what ‘they’ are doing, which is at all times ourselves, because I did notice a general detachment from being the perpetrator of abuse on Earth with sentences like ‘They are doing it, one is not willing to participate in that/ I don’t do that’ which is a general way to abdicate responsibility, even if there is a common sensical consideration of being ‘one and equal,’ which is a common misconception when this oneness is seen as a ‘spiritual’ thing like ‘being one with the universe,’ but step out of such ‘oneness’ when it implies some ‘negative/ bad’ aspect of ourselves as humanity.

Will continue in the next post with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application to face myself as another in my reality playing out character that I used to play out in an effusive manner as well, which is going into an empathetic character due to mind-associations and within that, assisting and supporting myself to not create a point of separation from others now that there is ‘someone’ that backs me up/ that I can ‘relate’ to, which would be relationship creation and separation.

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148. Transcending Anger through Breathing – A Commitment.

Walking Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Commitments from the previous post 147. Hissy Fit: Cleaning Demonic Possession

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘one of my greatest fears’ finding a house absolutely dirty after I leave for a while, which means that I actually allowed myself to exist as a predictable reaction to seeing ‘a very messy/ dirty house’ even though I ‘believed’ that I was ‘over with it,’ without realizing that the moment that I allowed a point of reaction in that very thought just prior to entering the house about ‘finding a mess,’ I was already preparing myself to react in anger If I did find such a mess – and I did thus

When and as I see myself actually fearing leaving the house for a while and within this fearing getting back because of finding a potential mess, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within allowing such fears as future projections, I am in fact giving permission for the event to take place as I am in fact the creator of everything and all that I experience – thus it is to see, realize and understand how I have defined ‘who I am’ as this fear of ‘finding a messy house’ wherein I realize I can only breathe, and Ensure that I do not participate in the anger that is predictable to emerge.

I see and realize that the anger must be transcended, which is something that I realize now, as I do agree that being angry is only throwing a tantrum toward myself alone, attempting to get any attention in a futile manner, as I was all alone when I got to see the mess – thus even if there was people, it is to realize that getting angry won’t change them, getting angry won’t actually create a point of awareness toward others about ‘them missing their responsibilities at home.’ This is about myself and my own participation in what I had feared to experience as myself which is anger.

I commit myself to walk the process of transcending/ breathing through any attempt to create anger as an experience upon seeing dirt/ a dirty house and within this, stopping any thoughts that point out toward a fear of finding a dirty house. Within this, it is to assist and support myself to ground myself as the moment to face whatever is here, and as such, immediately just direct myself to do what I did anyways which is cleaning – I realize I can do it without adding the extra layer of anger to make it more cheesy – lol.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I cannot possibly live in a dirty house,’ as this is quite a justification for me to get angry because ‘THEY’ are Not considering that they live with ‘OTHERS’ which mostly imply myself as the primary person that gets ‘pissed off’ at dirtiness  – thus

When and as I see myself thinking ‘I cannot possibly live in a dirty house,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am thinking thoughts to justify a coming experience of anger toward others, instead of assisting and supporting myself to actually say No, I won’t participate in anger and the usual marlenesque reactions of actually exerting y anger onto the stuff around me which is absolutely unacceptable and a clear mind possession. Thus

I commit myself to STOP every time that I see myself thinking that ‘I cannot possibly live in a dirty house’ as I realize that this is the prelude to throwing a tantrum and as such, the primary ‘convincing self-talk’ in order to become possessed in anger for real. I realize It’s not necessary to get angry if the things are done and furthermore, thinking to myself is simply making myself the victim of the situation and as such righteous when it comes to reacting, which is in all cases, a mind experience that I see and realize I must walk through/ as breath to Deliberately stop it – and this is the commitment to walk as self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an imagination point of my plans going ‘smoothly’ wherein I pictured myself getting back early at home and immediately ‘jumping’ to do all my tasks and stuff, but instead encountering a very dirty kitchen and as such upon deciding that it cannot remain one more second like that, I pushed my plans aside to dedicate hours to clean it up, which is what pissed me off within the belief that ‘Why would I have to disrupt my plans for this? Why do I have to clean up someone else’s mess?’ – and within this, only creating further justifications and excuses as to why I can simply be pissed off at ‘the world’ in that moment because My routine was broken and my plans as the future projection of my ‘perfect schedule’ was tampered with this eventuality,

When and as I see myself getting pissed off at some eventuality disrupting my future plans , I stop and I breathe – I realize that I live in a world wherein we can ‘plan’ the perfect schedule, however we are subject to eventualities and points that one cannot control – thus, I assist and support myself to simply breathe and decide in that moment to take the time to clean up if I see and realize it is absolutely necessary to do so, and support myself to breathe through it, ensuring that I am aware of what I am using to clean, what and how I am moving things around, considering that I cannot just exert my anger upon the stuff around me as they are clearly not to blame, and certainly I cannot blame either but simply bring the point to the responsible people’s awareness in order for them to be aware of what they did, and the responsibility we all hold within living together.

I commit myself to be flexible/ pliable in terms of my routine/ schedule and plans wherein I breathe through any eventuality that may push the plans back, as I see and realize that getting angry won’t solve the problem, getting angry won’t make someone do the job for me, and instead I support myself to remind me how detrimental to my physical body it is to get angry, wherein pain is a certain thing after getting angry.

I realize that any beliefs of being ‘over anger’ are certainly bogus, this is a process and as such, it will be walked in space and time and in such case I can instead see this event as a way to measure where I am within my process of facing anger as myself, and this time realizing that I must get to a point of being able to stop all participation in anger in a constant and consistent manner, as this is the only way that I can ensure I am really here in the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse ‘I am wasting time’ as a way to justify my anger for having to clean up/ use time to clean up something out of my schedule, without realizing that I haven’t actually been that ‘strict’ with myself and my schedule and that even if I was, once again, I am living in a world wherein there’s a thousand factors that have factored for us to be and become who and what we are now, which is placing into perspective my desire to ‘be in control of my environment, my time, my plans,’ as an actual point of ego, as within these thoughts there is no consideration of what is best for all, how can I assist and support myself to walk through actual events in reality that must be corrected – and instead, have focused only on ‘wasting time’ without realizing that this point was part of ‘my time’ to face anger as myself and as such see where and how I still react to it and what points require further consistency in application to eventually be able to stand in any given situation and not get angry at it, but simply use that driving force to give proper direction and self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat: ‘I leave and everyone just stops giving a fuck about cleaning at all,’ wherein I am placing myself as the necessary ‘ogre’ to keep a relative order within the house, without realizing that I am in fact only reinforcing the idea of myself as the ‘order maker’ and as such, believing that ‘I’ and my absence is the only cause for such mess to exist, without realizing it is actually factoring and stemming from the habits of other beings, thus

When and as I see myself thinking that everything falls apart here when I’m not home, I stop and I breathe – I realize that it is not about me, it is not about blaming others but instead walking the practical solutions in the moment to later on be able to communicate the point within practical considerations instead of wanting to blame or even scold others for not doing their point of responsibility, as I see and realize that within believing that it is ‘their fault,’ I take a self-righteous position to not support them – thus it is to keep it simple.

I commit myself to stop making myself the ‘order maker’ and as such embodying that ‘authority’ as a character that certainly dislikes mess/ dirty environments, thus it is to simply let go of any reaction in the moment, breathe, assist and support myself to focus on the physical activities and that’s it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to do what I thought they would, without realizing that within this I am wanting them to be ‘changed’ after 2 years of living together, and them at all times ‘considering me,’ without realizing how I cannot claim any righteousness to be angry upon others, as I see that anger is that point of self interest and even more so when projected onto others. Thus

When and as I see myself creating anger upon a point of disappointment because of not having been able to find a clean house, I stop and I breathe – I assist and support myself to realize that within this I am still trying to control others and as such, I realize that I cannot possibly try and control my environment when I am not even fully aware of myself, my entire body that I am in fact abusing every moment that I participate in thoughts, emotions and feelings, all the beings that have to ‘endure’ my anger as I push/throw things around and yell as if doing all of that could make any difference to the actuality of the physical reality and events.

I commit myself to stop expecting people changing, stop expecting things to ‘get better’ as I see and realize this was the ‘hope’ that I held toward others and as such, meeting my maker when realizing and coming to see how things have not changed and as such, realizing that we won’t change from overnight or a couple of years as we have lived for several lifetimes within the same mind frame without ever actually changing who we are, thus I cannot expect others to change/ do what I ‘think/ assume’ they would – Instead, I assist and support myself to take responsibility for what goes on Within my own mind, what I decide to participate in or not and within this, walk my own process of self-change wherein I can in fact stop re-creating the ‘cleanliness’ character and anger upon ‘dirtiness’ as the positive and negative experience existent within and as me at a mind level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘why can’t THEY take Responsibility for cleaning up after ALL THIS TIME’ wherein I was expecting them to ‘already know/ change/ act’ upon that which I thought was ‘very clear’ by now, without realizing that it will actually take time for ourselves and our world to change and actually align ourselves to be self responsible at all times. I also see and realize how I diverted my attention from ME to THEM/ THEY as a way to not see and realize that the point of focus and attention should be here as myself within and as breath to not react and justify the reaction with further thinking as self-interest to make myself the ‘victim’ of it all.

When and as I see myself diverting the point of responsibility of change toward others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the moment I am backchatting about ‘they’ is actually a flag point wherein I must immediately realize that I am talking myself into a righteous-anger mode, which won’t ever change the situation, it won’t change ‘them’ or myself, it is in fact an unnecessary and actually physically damaging experience to go through anger as a way to apparently make myself ‘righteous’ to get angry at the point of abuse. I realize that within this all that exists is me and my thoughts and a messy kitchen – thus, I realize that if I have taken the decision to clean up, I can do so while slowing myself down to breathe through it, realizing and understanding that getting angry does not change others or myself in that moment, it is only a plain tantrum thrown around whenever we would want things to ‘go our way,’ without considering the actual physical reality but only our wishes/ desires of How we want to see the world/ reality around us.

I commit myself to actually take responsibility for myself first as this is where I am responsible and this is where I can actually see where and how I am still reacting to a point that I am diverting my responsibility toward, wherein I see and realize that reacting in anger does not support life at all, and it is only the predictable counter act to ‘fall’ into participating in the mind – thus I stop and realize that to take Self Responsibility means self toward self as one’s own thoughts, reactions and backchat in order to Live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘It is impossibly that at this stage they are STILL doing this even though they know it is unacceptable’ wherein I allow myself to think this in order to be righteous about my anger, without realizing how I ‘know’ and ‘they know’ only as this point of past experiences of similar events wherein further conflict ensued when not supporting/ collaborating to take responsibility properly for what we do/ don’t do in our reality. I realize that I cannot focus on wanting others to change but instead assist and support me to stop reacting to my own point of change which implies stopping at all the anger, transcending anger breath by breath within the realization that it is unacceptable to drain my physical body when getting angry .

When and as I see myself thinking about others STILL making the same mistakes/ repeating the same patterns and using this as fuel for the conflagration, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within these words I am victimizing myself in my mind and actually diverting my attention and responsibility outside of myself, judging others instead of taking the point back to self to see where I am STILL also repeating the same predictable patterns of ‘anger upon messiness/dirtiness’ and within that, assist and support me to first stop me here as breath to then realize the backchat as the mind possession that it represents.

I commit myself to live as the example of what it is to ‘know’ one’s mind and patterns and what it is to Live/ apply the corrective statements to in order and in fact stop reacting to ‘dirtiness/ messiness’ as all the points that I have defined as ‘an obstacle’ to live, without realizing that cleaning does not obstruct life, and it is in fact the other way around how I disrupt life every time that I only consider me and only me within my own tantrums. Thus I realize it is unacceptable to divert blame onto others and instead focus on my own application at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think ‘why can’t they have a bit of consideration’ wherein I am diverting all responsibility toward them ‘considering me’ and my special needs, without realizing that in doing so, I am victimizing myself in my mind in order to justify the anger that I then exert onto things and in the moment cursing all I can in order to ‘relieve’ myself, without realizing that such ‘relief’ and entire anger was actually the accumulation of my own backchat and reactions from previous events, wherein this event was the ‘drop of water that made the glass spill’ as they say here. Thus

When and as I see myself victimizing myself toward others and pleading them to ‘have a bit of consideration’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that within this all, I was only considering myself as my mind and that’s it – because I was in fact abusing my physical body when creating such point of anger – thus it is to first consider Me and have full consideration of myself as my physical that is the one that is abused every time that I only seek to validate my ‘anger’ and justify it through my own backchat, which is me as the mind justifying its means and ways to direct myself instead of me being self aware here as breath, wherein I can instead simply direct myself in the moment within common sense, which is cleaning while breathing to support myself to not react at all.

I commit myself to consider my physical body first here as breath before accepting and allowing myself to be and become any mind pattern that is self-destructive and detrimental – I realize that the first consideration is toward our physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ‘cursing’ as a way to justify why I feel so ‘damned’ by others, without realizing that cursing in such moments is only fueling my anger and as such, it is not supportive at all as cursing won’t make me a better person/ nor will it change someone upon hearing such words – thus

When and as I see myself wanting to curse to justify my anger toward someone, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am aware of what I am doing in such moments and as such, it is to take on the deliberate action of stopping, as I see and realize that getting angry only drains me as my physical body and cursing only adds ‘fuel to the fire’ – thus, it is to instead assist and support myself to breathe and remain here as the physical, breathing, stopping all backchat and internal conversations about others – Instead I focus on myself as the physical.

I commit myself to transcend anger and as such only speak words that I realize are an actual expression of myself in the moment, that are self directed and not just reactions stemming from a self-righteous point of anger as myself –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by my own mind wherein I believe myself to be a ‘prisoner’ of my reactions as something that I ‘have a right to experience’ without realizing how in such ‘righteousness’ I am in fact deciding to diminish myself to only be a fraction of a point of awareness in my mind as that anger possession, forgetting about everything and all that is here as the physical and as such, becoming a consequence of my own thoughts as a reaction, instead of remaining here within and as breath.

When and as I see myself simply seeing myself as a ‘prisoner’ and a ‘victim’ of my own anger, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I absolutely have all the power to stop in one single breath, as I see and realize how it is that it is actually a deliberate action that I must take on in order to stop our reactions and experiences, and that anger won’t change a thing within ourselves, thus instead we have to focus on aligning ourselves to consider what to do practically in the moment and direct such practical solutions breath by breath, deliberately making a stand to stop reacting in an emotional way toward a point of what I have called ‘abuse.’

I commit myself to realize that it takes time to change and that getting angry won’t change a thing, and that I am the only one that is able to determine myself as my own point of change

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a point of powerlessness when facing a point of abuse and instead of going into that ‘helplessness’ I bring up ‘anger’ as way to victimize myself within the situation and justify my reaction as something that ‘I have the right to do,’ without realizing that anger won’t ever solve the point of abuse itself.

When and as I see myself wanting to immediately get angry upon a point of abuse, I see and realize that the actual experience is that of powerlessness and that there is actually nothing I can do to change the point in the moment, as we have lived entire lifetimes within endless points of abuse toward ourselves, each other and the Earth itself. Thus

I commit myself to walk this process without judging myself for ‘falling’ into anger and thinking that ‘I should have transcended this by now,’ without realizing that it will take time to change the points that cause the anger in the first place and as such, focus on myself and my own reactions absolutely so that I do not allow anger to lead me to powerlessness and as such, diminishing myself to only be this ‘one’ limited point as anger-possession over something that is in fact something rather trivial.

I realize that if I would be aware of all the things and points that go on in the world, I would be ‘dead by anger’ from reacting to all of them – thus I realize that in order to face myself and face the consequences of what I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in, I establish myself here as breath to no longer create a point of possession in my mind upon something that is already done, that is already taking place wherein anger as such won’t ‘change a thing’ anyways – thus, I support myself to stand as the realization that changing who we are, changing our reactions, changing ourselves in fact requires an actual process to walk, thus it is futile to get angry and possessed by a point that won’t be solved overnight. Yet I assist and support myself to stop the unnecessary experiences within me toward/ as anger itself.

 

I realize that I ‘knew’ what I was doing and did it anyways which implies that:

 

“…every time I say ‘I know’ – I am in fact justifying ‘who I am’ as only this observer/presence/knowledge in and as my relationship to the Mind and so essentially every single time, reiterating and validating my limitation, victimization and powerlessness to/as the Mind as me.” – Sunette Spies

Thus, I commit myself to get to in fact know me so that I no longer stand as a victim within a deliberate participation in anger and saying ‘I know’ that I did and did it anyways, as this implies an actual point of ignorance toward the abuse that we inflict upon ourselves and the whole whenever we take on a self-righteous position of ‘I know’ without really knowing how in fact this statement is a way out to not face ourselves – I face myself and commit myself to live the words here.

Walk with us, learning about ourselves: who we are as the Mind, as the Physical and the relationship that we have Missed all this time seeking for ourselves ‘outside’ of ourselves instead of realizing ourselves here as the life that has always been here. It is a matter of realizing: We are here, we are not going anywhere, thus we stand up and walk any point of conflict/ problem within our coexistence by assisting and supporting ourselves individually to stand as a collective that is able to live by the principle of what is best for all life.

Desteni

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Recommended interviews:

Life Review – A Doomsday Activist

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Other posts in relation to anger:

94. In-Sin–Irate: Anger Issues
95. Any Abuse is Always Self-Abuse
89. Righteous Victim
88. The Victim
87. Tantrum-me
131. Stop Yourself with Self Forgiveness before You Kill someone
121. Childhood Anti-Social Behavior
120. ‘I don’t like breaking my routine’
108. ‘Like Father, Like Son’
104. Anger Intimidation in Communication
Anger towards Authority
Madly in Anger
Street Fury: Is this the Solution?
Getting angry when directing others
Orderly Control– Self-Exposure for Self Correction
Anger – out of control
Victimization
frustration/anger/sadness

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