Category Archives: christianity

391. Noah’s Revelations

I went to watch Noah the other day mostly because I had read some reviews from angry Christians about it and so I was curious to watch it for the sake of understanding what the fuss was about.  I usually like Aronofsky’s work and this wasn’t the exception.

 

Noah

 

What I liked the most is the ability to place into question the general belief-system surrounding the benevolent god that Christianity in this case is meant to be founded upon; sometimes it seems that all the actual killings, sacrifices and atrocities that God commands to people throughout the bible have gone unnoticed just because of it being the sacred book that defines our image and likeness, an image and likeness that as human beings we’ve tried to hard to avoid and prevent looking at, our own ‘spell to ward off our darkness’ which in terms of religions, any fault to god is a punishment acquired without ever questioning God and its commands themselves.

 

So, before discovering Desteni I could not make sense of how this God figure operates or how people would generally perceive it, since it was supposed that god is meant to be loving, caring, merciful being…. however we only have to look at our creation, our image and likeness we have become wherein our own creations speak for themselves in terms of ‘who we are’ and we are annihilating life in the name of beliefs, ideas, experiences, delusions of progress wherein our real god is money itself – and the bible is the code for this reality, how to submit to the idea that one can only get access to life if one sweats the brow all day to earn it… figure it out how we are still living in a system that is based on a biblical scheme, and somehow we haven’t yet questioned that either.

 

The reason why I find it so relevant to talk about the movie is because throughout the story, one of the pivotal points demonstrated is  that all human beings have this inherent evil as the image and likeness of the creator – and this is by far the most necessary yet obviously shocking acknowledgement for the light-hearted since it is only through the realization that if we are the image and likeness of our creator, then our creator wasn’t such ideal, merciful and benevolent being that this god/creator was taught to be to be for all religious people, including myself wherein I early on also wanted so bad to believe on something, until I stepped into the realization of the fallacy this was early on in my teens. To me it was kind of obvious that there was something inherently wrong in this world with me having to believe in a god that only cared about a ‘few’ to live very well and leave the rest to suffer with only being able to resort to ‘praying’ to make things better in this world, which is an equivalent of sitting, doing nothing, waiting and feeling sorry for myself and every person that suffers in this world. I consider that the ever-gnawing question of ‘why do we have to suffer/ why is there so much suffering in this world?’ that drove me to get to answers might still be a question that many prefer to ward off to not see and realize the inevitable, the actuality of who we are and our real nature that we had attempted to vehemently cover up with lots of ‘love’ and ‘light’ and words that we attach with ‘good feelings,’ trying to always see the ‘bright side’ without first acknowledging the dark side, the real core of our being.

 

8. Fin de la Ilusión

 

It is essential for us to realize this ‘evil’ within each one of us as that’s the first point to step outside of the bubbly cloud of being ‘the perfect godly creation’ and instead realize that if we are created at this god’s image and likeness, then we sure are no perfect loving peaceful doves, consequently nor was ‘him’ either, and this movie is able to place in full bloom this aspect of our human nature which is lived through by Noah where he has to then decide upon following the ‘word of god’ or act in the best interest of all. Suddenly this ‘god’ that never talks back becomes a great diatribe in Noah’s mind, a struggle in itself when he sees himself having to choose between ‘Him’ and the love/consideration he has for his own family.

One of the huge ‘weights’ that were lifted off of my back was to stop believing in a god, to be afraid of a god, to believe I had to please a god or else I’d be damned somehow for not completing my ‘chosen path’ that I believed existed for me to complete in this Earth. I too once believed this god was real and that I had to seek such ‘godliness’ that exists as part of religious theory books that I saw nowhere being applied in practical, physical reality – but rather the total opposite is what I witness from some of the heads of religious sects where I studied in school. So, as the song goes, I once was lost and blind but not I see and so throughout walking this process within Desteni, I was able to understand the design of religion, the design of god as the symbols to avoid and excuse our own irresponsibility, our own abdication to be self directive in our lives, our own substitutes for ‘love’ as an energetic experience that we become addicted to and believe that that is all that we have to ‘aim’ for in this world, while having to struggle at all times for survival. This is the foundation of the Catholic religion I am familiar with.

 

I can now say for sure that the outrage that some Christians have created around the movie is simply based on the shock-factor that they are exposed to when considering it as ‘anti-biblical’ and a rather a so-called ‘satanic version of Noah’s story’ when in fact it is to realize the nature of who we are and have become in fact, and we are certainly not entirely different from all that mass of people that got wiped off of the Earth with the great deluge. We’re hitting again that time in our existence wherein each tree that is cut, each crop that is genetically manipulated, each bee that dies,  each air molecule that is made unbreathable adds up to our very near demise if we don’t actually stop, or come to be stopped by consequence, and so that’s why I also consider it’s a relevant moment to watch it and hopefully more people are able to see beyond the ‘fable’ that it’s meant to be and rather turn it into a very real and applicable self-reflection process to see whether we have in any way changed as human beings, what has been missed? why are we still the same greedy evil beings that were wiped out during Noah’s times? Why haven’t we been able to change or have we? Because we create our reality as the image and likeness of how each one of us exists as the mind. This is why no attempt to ‘change the world’ is successful as we haven’t yet ‘tackled’ the actual problem which is not God missing all the prayers, but ourselves not doing the actual work required to sort out ourselves and our creation.

 

This is It

 

To all the people that have watched Noah and are ready to make peace with the fact that we weren’t created by a white merciful loving dove of a god that cares about his creation, then I suggest researching Desteni as this is the necessary step to understand why everything looks like hell on Earth at the moment, and how no matter which phase of history we look at, we as human beings haven’t evolved an iota and only now we have the potential to veer the course toward which we are currently heading at which is starkly said: self destruction. This begin within being able to walk through the god construct, the religious constructs, the spirituality constructs with which we have fueled our minds of nice experiences, hopes, prayers and good feelings in an attempt to only wait that such ‘nice energies’ have any effect to solve the very real and physical problems in this world.

 

The problem is: we have missed our responsibility for our creation, we have missed the point all along: we all have been here from the beginning and as such there is no god as such but only ourselves as creators and creations that have abdicated any responsibility to who we are as Life, and instead replaced our realizations  with fears, with excuses, with justifications, with ‘greater powers’ and ‘superior abilities’- never realizing how in every bit we defined ourselves in separation from God we separated ourselves from our real potential, our real responsibility and our real directive principle to become the individuals that we already know would make of this world-system a genuine living place in this world.

The mind is currently our god, our own darkness we tend to veil with positivity, gods, faiths, spiritualties and hope, the actual evil, the point of separation that we are here to stand up and take responsibility for in order to align ourselves to a living principle that we can all be certain will change the nature of who we have been up to now and as such, change the nature of our relationships and our current systems with which we’ve governed ourselves.

If a person goes into denial after watching Noah, they are already making a decision to keep believing in an illusion because they are not willing to face the ‘dark side’ which is not really ‘dark’ in itself, it’s only been kept aside to not face the reality of who we are and have become, which is the first step to then decide to begin conducting oneself to live and apply the tools and principles to become a living human being that is self-responsible, that learns how to care for others as we would like to be care after ourselves, that learns how to cultivate real love as work made visible, the work that benefits us as human beings to step outside of our massive black hole of which we are at the cliff of if we don’t stop and change our minds to recognize and honor the life that lives and exists within each one of us.

Happy Easter

 

“There is no truth. There are only relationships. You either are part of what is best for all in all ways or you are in self interest and allows harm to exist in the name of your personal happiness. This is the Alpha and the Omega of this world. The ultimate truth. The ultimate choice. and You decide who you are and that determines the outcome of each individual. The universe is a group and if you are not able to be part of the group, you can work out for yourself what will be the consequence”

 

“The foundation of the truth of Here will only be uncovered with Self Honest Self Forgiveness. Only those strong enough as individuals will fathom self honesty and will live self forgiveness. Ego will never grasp the simplicity of the message of Desteni”Bernard Poolman 

 

The Great Wave 09

 

 

Suggest to watch this hangout to hear about the truth of us hiding behind religions, spirituality and any other belief and how to walk toward real responsibility toward life and oneself as life:

 

Mindblowing interviews:

 

To learn more on how we can become common sensical and supportive co-creators of our reality, visit:


215. Red Fears = Capitalist Propaganda

 

Communism as Fear Label.

I grew up with the belief that people were leaving the USSR because communism lead to poverty – little did I know that it was not because of Communism in itself, but a failure within the Attempt to establish Communism as an actual living of what Marx envisioned. As Cerise Poolman puts it:

“people already cry out “communism” when they hear about it [Equal Money System] – not even realizing that everything we think we know about communism is the distorted image that the power-countries want us to believe. Maybe this is then a good indication that we are on the right track?” 

Day 213: War, It Isn’t Good For Absolutely Nothing

 

Hence as a child and knowing this ‘friend of my mother coming from Russia because of communism’ instilled the belief within me that Communism leads to poverty and as such, growing under the influence of my parents who also adopted such belief – of course I don’t blame anyone here, this is just how things developed and here I am taking responsibility to see where and how I have conditioned myself to create an entire opinion and perspective based on what I’ve heard-  yes, without any further investigation or background to it. 

 

Continuation of the Elitist Character:

The Revolutionary Character:

 

As I mentioned in the post 212. Opposing the System= Act of Ignorance the word ‘Communist’ became a pejorative term that could lead people to be tagged by the government and even be jailed-  once again, little did I know the context of such situations and the actual course of events that developed.

I realized later on how ‘in the back of my head’ which means an entire opinion-personality existed toward communism, wherein the word ‘revolutionary’ is inherently linked in my mind to some paintings,  general icons in relation to communism etc. So the point to Self Forgive here is the brainwashing in itself, wherein I took information ‘as it came’ without further investigation – and only when having people linking Equal Money System to communism realizing that we  were onto having some major resistances from what I had witnessed throughout my life, wherein communism was spoken in a similar fashion to talking about the devil or the scum of the Earth, ‘revolutionary’ became another key word linked to rebellion, which  I then took proudly as a tag I wanted to wear myself within a personal vendetta against ‘family patterns’ that I’ve discussed throughout my entire process. We’ve lost all ability to discern information and actually not take things at ‘word value,’ but investigate, research and create our own conclusions and even more so, suit it to our own personal vendettas. I even recall quite clearly how I would get an ‘upliftment’ when I was called this way by my parents.

 

It is certainly now easier to have access to information, 20 years ago I had no access or even interest in what I do  now. I remember going to this explanation of the communism in Venezuela which I shared here: Socialism in the 21st century? and how it was painted as something absolutely nice and pretty by this German sociologist that I met. Later on I realized that the man’s stance was that of ‘fucking with the system’ even in petty acts of theft, and his entire proposal was putting up a front toward the ‘academy’ while earning quite good money from his academic endeavors. He was another example of what I thought was ‘cool’ to do for a moment, even though the retaliation and vengeance toward the system by petty theft definitely seemed like obviously questionable – however, it is to remember that I was pretty much in that ‘reactive’ side of social matters, and my aim was to be ‘inspired’ by these ‘libertarians’ mostly from other countries, mostly people that have even come to Mexico as a ‘political asylum,’ because virtually you can ‘do it all’ here.

 

The Muralist movement here in Mexico was one of my greatest influences of course as that’s most of what one would have to see as a demonstration of art in the 20th century. Communism rang again and the same with Siqueiros and his communist endeavors up to the point where he became active in the Communist Party here. I knew that the muralists had gotten themselves into trouble for portraying socialist icons in murals made for Rockefeller – lol – that’s quite obvious yet courageous within the same starting point of ‘confronting’ the system and making money out of it, good money and fame out of it – hence we add more information to my communist sack: revolutionary, opposition, courageous and within that admiring mostly Siqueiros as a man with ‘great guts’ and in that, holding him as an ideal of what I wanted to be and become as well.

 

A reminder is that I am placing out here all the Knowledge and Information I acquired as the propaganda it is, meaning even these artists also got to have lots of fame, fortune and living the ‘ideal’ of an artist I envisioned early in my life. Right now my sister’s influence from the time she was a teenager popped-up, she was quite the communist act during her high school years, she even was a role model for me when I was also 8-9 years old, she was quite an opinionated person while being in a school that was funded mostly by communist/ leftist intellectuals in our city. Fascinating how I got the influence of such people through my sister and her acquired ideas at school, pretty cool since I got to know some of our ‘hidden history’ from the books she’d read and tell stories about.  This was  also seen as a threat to what the normalcy of her desires at the time should have been (she’s 10 years older than me) in terms of  people in ‘high school’ and being in our society like she did.  Later on, with her entering Jesuit Private University, any remains of communism/ socialism or social justice dwindled to the point of remaining as a washed-out version of  ‘good will’ in the background, while realizing that one cannot survive in this world while opposing the system/ idealism in essence, even though we are aware of many people that do make good money out of that, which was never our case in the family since making money out of opposing the system implied becoming an Intellectual and, people in my direct family weren’t that at all – hence my initial fears, brainwashing toward communism.

 

It is only now that we realize that communism became another version of capitalism due to its confinement and lack of understanding of actual change stemming from the monetary system. Not to mention the boogie-man Communism was also conveniently made within us ‘western societies’ –  the Movie ‘Goodbye Lenin’ also played a role in forming certain criteria around communism, another proof of how media is a powerful way to educate and misinform the masses.

Hence, it is to clarify that Equal Money System is nor capitalism, nor communism but Equality – there can be no other precedents to an Equality System throughout our history, simply because it has never existed. Period.

 

Any correspondence with the principles promoted by any other historical figure within the Communist-Fears, it is simply a point to consider with regards to what prevented such principles and considerations from being implemented, and the collective acceptance and allowance of such principles as something ‘Evil’ and ‘Bad’ when promoting the well being of all beings Equally. Isn’t then quite obvious that any detractor of anything sounding like Communism being a blatant defender of the Abuse toward Life? Communism as a word, without the historical load it contains as our knowledge and information like I’ve just poured out myself here, means ‘communal to all’ = common, it was thus envisioned as a common sense. I repeat: Envisioned as a common sensical system, it was never placed in full action and consideration of all the factors that should have been taken into consideration to actually have a real demonstration of what a functional communist country could be like to support human beings to their utmost potential. This, precisely became Idealism instead of practical realizations.

 

The world is in reverse and this means that Capitalism is by far the most well-covered up form of slavery we’ve accepted with positive-acts of ‘fulfillment’ like happiness through consuming, escalating the social ladder to get more money and call that ‘success’ instead of abuse, perpetuating political dispensations that support a system of perpetual ‘struggle to live’ wherein things like poverty have become a background aspect in all societies around the world, coming up now to the surface in a more visible way  to realize that there has been something Very Wrong about the acceptance and allowance of a Consciousness-mentality of a System that is in no way regarding Life in Equality, but only seeking to consume, destroy the most for its own engulfment of power in the hands of a few.  Listen to The Soul of Money to understand to the T what I’m saying here.

 

As above, so below: the same happened in Heaven and Hell (The Earth)

Heaven spreading fears around the Demon dimension, not wanting to even get close to them to support them and integrate them as part of the whole – but instead relegating them to some ‘outskirt’ rank in existence – just like we do with poverty and any other marginalized being in our reality, little did anyone know what their real abilities were. The same with Jesus and everyone having missed the point of his entire process on Earth to promote Life in Equality and instead, turning his words and persona into some Christian paraphernalia to sell idols as saviors instead of realizing the actual gift that he meant for human beings to realize the Equality as Life that we are, which is  what Jesus came to say. These are Crucial aspects to understand of our reality – both able to be heard in the series Demons in the Afterlife | The Crucifixion of Jesus |  And No, this has Nothing to do with the fact that you believe in a god, heaven, Jesus or hell – this is part of the configuration/ set up that we all exist as by the sheer fact of existing as a mind and a physical body merged into ‘who we are’ which is more of an accepted and allowed con that must be corrected now.

Read: Day 214: Jesus was the Greatest Threat to the Creator Gods – ADC – Part 62

 

Within this all, it is not a surprise that my initial reactions toward the Equal Money System when getting to know about it in 2008 were met with an uncanny resistance that I was not even aware of ‘where it came from’ obviously, it had become part of my programming to fear anything that threatened our current system, even if the idea sounded Great at first, there were many questions around the value of money and how it was all going to be done if we already had this nice value-system wherein I had been brainwashed to accept the fact that one can only be supported to live if you work for it, more like Struggle for it. You know? Life is Hard/ Life is Tough, waddle your way through it, push to breakthrough and maybe, only maybe, you’ll make it.

 

From here stems all these ideas that we were being ‘oppressed’ by the system, not realizing we Are the System and that any leftist-endeavor was always met with resistance because no real solutions were considered: there was no Self-Responsibility as in Individually realizing how the nature of our current Capitalist System is the exact reflection of how our mind works. Hence even if on paper communism was meant to be a ‘utopia’ on Earth, it would have mostly failed on the long run if the nature of the human would not be precisely engineered to support and sustain the communist principles, which requires understanding of how the mind works and how this reality operates within the same principles of our mind and its relationship to the physical body. These are the reasons why and  how a reform in the system cannot only be seen as a single political move to a betterment of society – it must be a holistic gradual process of Self-Change, individually, through Education that must be considered even from the moment one is pretending to conceive another life form/ child to live in this world. There is a lot of  material to study in order to understand How we came to create the current world system as the image and likeness of the relationship existent between the mind as consciousness as the ‘resident evil’ within our physical body, and what it actually implies and entails us having to walk this process within existence as a way to correct – dare I say ‘conciliate’ that inherent separation we accepted and allowed as existence. Yes, energy as the result of separation and exemplified nowadays as our monetary system and its ‘inner workings’ is the perfect physical example of what happens when the creators – not ‘gods’ but each one of us, creators and perpetrators of this current world system – disregard all beings within this world as equals and consider only Self Interest.

All of this is explained to the T in all the interviews at Eqafe – and I say All because the default ‘scenario’ for everything narrated there is our entire history that has never been told, but that has created the very consequences we are facing till this day on Earth, in our day to day living. Thus, as you can realize, it is as Relevant as can be and we cannot give further steps without individuals taking the Responsibility to Educate themselves to Understand, and upon Understanding, Acting according to the common sense realizations of how to walk through within this world to create and establish a viable solution for all.

 

Will the world hear? Are you ready to understand reality to the T and regain your actual power to no more be subdued by the constant impulse of buy-consume-happiness brainwashing that we’ve accepted and allowed Till this day on Earth.

I dare you.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become brainwashed by knowledge and information that I acquired within ‘trust’ toward the people and sources of information as ‘reliable’ without realizing that in this world, everything has been managed and controlled through knowledge and information as education and media in order to veer the population that has access to such information toward a particular outcome that will benefit those that write the history books, lay out the Education programs which is all designed to perpetuate the capitalist system as a form of acceptable slavery through values and words that represent an inherent inability to support all beings equally and placing that as a form of ‘physical law’ that I never investigated but simply took ‘as is,’ not realizing that all the knowledge and information acquired around communism, socialism and revolutions was meant to be placed as warnings, as ways to prevent any of us from actually taking action to question our own system – but instead, accept Fear of Communism/ Socialism as something that we simply had to avoid at all cost, which proves how it is through individual acceptance and allowance of information as ‘the devil’ that we shape, form and sustain our own mind control.

 

I commit myself to debunk my beliefs, accepted and allowed brainwashing around communism and revolutionary characters in order to establish a common sensical starting point within my own process of taking responsibility for what is here, so that it is no longer tainted by my personal history, by humanity’s history written in books and told by teachers/ people that were taught to teach such information in the first place – and instead, establish a common sensical practical consideration of using knowledge and information to understand how we have created our ideological apparatus and how it has been conveniently set up, not only from schools or parents, but on the streets/ the media as the general configuration that defines our reality – which is currently based on money/ capitalism -  and within this, explore the ways we can use the same mechanisms that are currently existing as a way to educate people and get to know the actual reality that has been veiled behind the symbols of power/ success/ happiness that have become the real weapons of mind control, widely accepted and allowed in any home and school with sufficient money to be active within this world as an economic force – which proves again how people that are not part of the system are not even taken into consideration when it comes to brainwashing, because they have no money to spare as a result of such brainwashing.  Shame on us, humanity. But, we are here to take Self Responsibility for all of this, until it is done.

I will continue with detailed Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application upon this on the following blogs

 

Educate yourself:

Desteni

Desteni Forum 

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process

Equal Money System

 

 

Blogs:


156. Can we be Benevolent in any way?

What is the quote that allowed me to understand Self Honesty?

 

“Self honesty is not nice or beautiful”- Bernard Poolman 

 

And this was already over 4 years ago, wherein I realized that I was certainly Not going to be ‘in for a ride’ to make myself ‘feel good’ or ‘be better’ or ‘gain’ anything within this process that could be mistaken/labeled as ‘personal improvement’ or any other point like that to vaingloriously elevate ourselves above others in this hierarchical system in an elaborate mind-delusion  of ‘betterment,’ No.

This process is actually going inside our own self-created hell for a ride and walking through it until we’re eventually done taking the ‘heat’ that we produce with our own friction as ‘the problem’ that we seem to have become so used to having as human beings: inner conflict, ‘mental instability,’ self esteem problems, social-dysfunctions, inability to create proper relationships, being pathological liars and cheaters, greedyall existing in our minds as ‘our nature,’ that we try and hide all the time through creating/ keeping a ‘good face’ and ‘positive attitude’ toward the world/ others for our own benefit. This is how we can simply look within ourselves every single time that we’ve made ourselves believe that we are ‘good’ and ‘good hearted’ or even sometimes, climbing up a serious delirium about being ‘a savior’ of some kind –yes like the thousands of self-proclaimed Jesuses and Antichrists that play the same role when it comes to ‘saving humanity’ which is nothing else but another ‘Sign of the Times’ where we’re facing the actual reality of who we are as our own mind.

 

What does this mean?

 

That this process that we’re walking of Self Honesty implies getting to see the nitty-gritty-dirty and gruesome aspect of ourselves, and I am deliberately using these words because they are in fact the consequence that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become from the moment that we accepted ourselves to only be ‘our mind,’ and the mind standing as and only for its own survival. This is plain evident in on the daily news that we are sharing within the Capitalism vs. Equal Money Group in Facebook that I suggest you check out as well, which encompasses the outflows of this mind-possessed reality as our current world system that is certainly unsustainable and must be realized as such in order for us to in fact take responsibility for it, which is what the Equal Money System implies within this process as well.

 

Now, ‘selfishness’ is the word that comes to mind and in the dictionary as well, which pointed out Egomania, a topic I had briefly written about before and the definition of the dictionary I consulted read: “Extreme self interest” and that’s essentially what we have become. This world is our reflection as egomaniacs, because if we in fact cared about ‘the Whole’ as who we are, we would have already changed the current system that is built as the image and likeness of who and what we have become within the idea of ‘As long as I am alright, I don’t care about the rest’ – and this becoming the blueprint to promote even more exacerbated states of selfishness/ egomania motivating our every move, our every word, every thing we consume, think and act upon during the day is motivated by this desire to always ‘get the most of the cake.’

Hence walking in Self Honesty this process is actually daring to see the true-workings behind seemingly ‘benevolent’ tasks or ‘good deeds’ during the day, which maybe you as I , as human beings that accepted ‘the positive’ as this supposed noble-quality of ourselves (yeah, right) without actually daring to see how in wanting to ‘do good’/ be good toward others, we have in fact neglected our ‘equality and oneness’ to only take our claws out and scavenge it all for our own benefit, while being willing to ‘exterminate’ any form of opposition and competition that prevents us from ‘getting what we want.’ And, what we have recently realized as Desteni is that fears actually were cover ups for this realization of Self Interest being the Force that moves us all which means that all points of fears are actually stemming from a desire, want and need to get something for ourselves/ our Own benefit.

Within Fear, we remain as ‘victims’ which somehow within our minds makes us seemingly ‘not responsible’ for what we define ‘Happens to us’ instead of us realizing how we are Creating it as ourselves. I mean, it’s become even like a spoken language malfunction – an example is whenever I have caught myself saying ‘This happened to me’ instead of saying ‘I created this point within myself/ I allowed this to happen in my reality/ I was unaware when doing this and so I created that’ – which is an absolute point to turn the tables and see that we have in fact been ‘the source’ of all our evil and malice naively called ‘bad luck’ as well.

 

So, if anyone has any concept about the Apocalypse or judgment day being this glorious sublime type of scenario with some red skies and some gigantic planet hitting the Earth to eradicate it all… well, I must be the one that debunks such parody – which was my own at some point as well – and instead look at what it is that we are in fact doing within/ as ourselves: facing the actual evil nasty and venomous creatures that we have become, that our Real Self Revelation.“What? Me? Nooo, Never! I am such a good person, I’d never do ANYTHING like that!’

Well, it’s time to stop kidding ourselves about our apparent ‘benevolence’ and instead, dare to walk our own evil within the understanding that good/ bad can only sustain a morality construct that in no way supports Life – and instead we ‘keep in mind’ that there is an actual True Principle we can guide and direct ourselves by: what is best for all in all ways, at all times as a declaration of who and what we are here to establish ourselves as, because we’ve Never been living under such principle, at all. This is how and why the material as the Reptilian Series, the Atlanteans and the Secret History of the Universe have been of great support to understand that we in fact are in a crucial time in this existence, on this planet to – for Once and for All – establish ourselves as the living-realization of how this existence and real life can only emerge if we in fact consider each other as equals, and all Evil within ourselves is walked within this process of Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty.

 

We are here to Breathe and realize that it is not to take this point personal either or creating YET another reaction/ character toward seeing our “gruesome” aspects, it is about finally understanding that unless we embrace the totality of who we are – which practically means: getting to know ourselves as our mind and walking the good and the bad through Self-Forgiveness and Self-Honesty with Self Corrective Application, we won’t get ourselves ‘out of this.’

We are prepared to do this, because we have the tools, we are a group that supports each other to do this as well, as we have seen and walked for ourselves what a ‘breakdown’ this may cause at some points when realizing that everything we have ever believed ourselves to be was not in fact ‘real’ as it was never built upon an equal and one understanding of ourselves as the mind, as the physical, as energy, as substance, as our physical body and existence as a whole. 

 

This is thus looking at the ‘greater picture’ which is something I suggest ‘keeping in mind’ in order to walk this process unconditionally, as I have seen and realized for myself as well how we tend to lose perspective in terms of why we are walking this process, what does it mean to walk an individual process and an existential process as a whole as well – and that is in fact what the Desteni I Process implies when it comes to realizing our point of responsibility with ourselves/ existence as a whole to then base our application/ the totality of what we walk here as self correction on this single premise: we are here to establish an Equal and One Living Realization of who we really are as what we have never in fact lived-as, which is Life in Equality. This begins within ourselves and debunking any ‘good doing’ is necessary in order to remove this ‘nice façade’ that we’ve built of ourselves, face our demons, self forgive all the good and the bad to finally establish within/as ourselves What’s Best for All Life.

This is an introduction and I have to thank Mr. Anu for sharing this process/his process with us to also begin working with our own patterns.

The interviews at Eqafe are:

These have been REAL eye openers here and the very fact that it took me a day to get to this already implies there was a resistance to walk through to start getting onto this. 

 

And, to answer to the question proposed as the title of this blog, at ‘face value’ I can say that benevolence is not yet existent and that we are literally creating it not as a ‘good doing’ in terms of projecting halos upon ourselves as that’s the worst type of deception that can exist in fact, thus this ‘benevolence’ can only acquire a common sensical meaning wherein what matter is living/ directing ourselves to be and become the equality and oneness as living-flesh that we are, and that means: walking this process of Self Realization through Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty to only then realize/ see and understand the actual implications of who we are/ what we have become as the mind in the physical and How we can practically walk the necessary corrections in fact. This is also supported by Heaven’s Journey to Life , Creation’s Journey To Life blogs and many others walking the 7 Year Journey to Life daily blogs wherein as a group, we ensure we share this process with anyone else that is willing to also face themselves, take Self Responsibility for our creation and as such, dare to LIVE – which is certainly the path we’re walking at the moment and is yet ‘to be realized/ known/ seen/ understood – however, this is walked breath by breath, moment by moment until it is done, not losing our ‘ground’ nor the attention on the feet that we stand upon: physical support to face the mind ‘chaos’ that we’ve become – and that’s our certainly, that’s our point of Self Trust: no matter what, we are here and we face what we are/ have become and whatever may come as the consequences of our own creation – only then will we see if we are in fact able to be/become benevolent as a living realization of who we are in every moment of physically being here.

Let’s walk

Further Support at: Desteni Forum

 

Blogs:

 

Vlog:


53: A Clockwork Mindkind–The Evil in Me is the Evil in You

When I watched A Clockwork Orange some 10 years ago, I was amused and fascinated at the same time with the entire story, without precisely knowing why I could rejoice in being witnessing Alex’s and his fellow droogs mischievous acts of random violence. The Fact is that for a long time, I thought that Kubrick had left the story in a ‘sellable’ ending compared to the original story in the book, which ends with a grown up matured and reformed Alex encountering himself with another one of his droogs and recalling the ‘good old ultra violent times.’ That seemed like a ‘right’ and socially redemptive ending that Burgess gave to a story filled with an actual accurate depiction of humanity: Evil, Madness, Violence and Vile-Ends to achieve a sense of power and fun.

 

The idea of ‘Humanity is Evil’ has been a constant thought pattern within me, and I can guarantee it has been within YOU as well. It is now that we are witnessing the real Evil of Man coming out from the gutters that we start pondering if we had held ourselves in high pedestals when it comes to claiming any form of ‘goodness’ and ‘benevolence,’ while the current state of the world can prove we have never in fact really showed any true benevolence that we could hold ourselves accountable for. Even more so, any attempt to ‘do good’ as charities, social services, helping the poor and starving is in fact fueling the same evil machinery that has created such conditions in the first place – and for that you must hear all about it here.

 

“While nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer, nothing is more difficult than to understand him:” Dostoyevsky

 

We get a sense of pleasure from watching evil – here in México it’s very common to have these yellow-press as we call it which shows gruesome and explicitly gory pictures of people that are murdered, ran over, tortured and savaged in one way or another by fellow humans. That sells a lot – and the same goes for Hollywood and all the ultraviolent movies that leave Kubrick’s interpretation of Alex’s violence looking like an artsy Saturday Morning version of evil.

Now, what’s the REAL point here: We are willing to witness in others what exists within us. You, reader, cannot possibly deny that you have never ever thought of killing someone or committing the most vile act in one fleeting moment of absolute rage and madness, wherein your entire body becomes possessed by this seemingly unstoppable desire to go out and just destroy or kill something/ someone. And I’m being quite general in the description because the point here is to realize that we can only get a sense of pleasure from an apparent detachment from the representation and ‘acting out’ of what goes on in our heads. Hence, Dostoyevsky was rather kidding himself when thinking that we cannot understand evil, because that would be not wanting to know our true-nature. Yes, that’s the basic ‘shocking’ point for anyone that is willing to read and be Self Honest in this world – in fact, as I’ve mentioned in several blogs in the past, one of the key quotes by Bernard that allowed me to witness the reality of this world and remove – slowly but surely- my ‘veil of sanctity and goodness’ was

Self Honesty  is not nice or beautiful” – Bernard Poolman 

And this implies that getting to know yourself as who you really are in Self-Honesty, won’t come up as shining gold dust falling from the skies over your head and angels singing about your perfection – Hell, no. It’s quite the contrary and we’ve reached the time that had been explained back in 2007 within the Desteni material that would take place on Earth in the coming years – yes, we are 5 years from that time and it’s now quite settled and going on with full force. One just has to glance at the news of people committing more ‘vile acts’ even in full and broad daylight – like a man trying to rape a woman in a busy street while she was going out to walk her dog.

 

There is no place to hide and you know why? Because such evil is existent in every single one of our minds.

Denying it is futile, it is the same as talking to yourself and repeating a 1000 times that ‘you are a good person’ which is obviously stemming from the actual fear that we have experienced toward our own ability to exert our Real Nature, which is Evil in its utmost potential. This is one of the reasons why willing to delve into the pit of your own mind takes a lot of guts, as well as obviously making the commitment to stop both the delusional ‘goodness’ and the rawness of the evil nature within. ‘The Killer in me is the killer in you’  – another  piece of lyrics that to me meant quite a literal sense of reality: we cannot deny the fact that we are fully aware of how our Mind Works – yet we suppress it and deny it behind fake faces and fake smiles to pretend that ‘everything is sugar and spice.’ Really?

If we can spot the evil nature of man through our daily news and obvious consequences in this world, why is it so difficult to accept such same nature within ourselves? Is it actual fear of realizing who and what we have become?

I am sorry, Mr. F. Dostoyevsky – wherever in this existence you are – but a man that is willing to know oneself would not pretend ‘not to understand’ his inherent nature.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever deny the real nature of myself as a human being that by default emerged into existence as the result of friction that generated the separation that remained as a constant self-experience of division, antagonism, separation and longing toward the whole that I separated myself from in order to become energy that seeks to be ‘more’ than others, and in that be the primary source and origin of all abuse in this world and existence, for I see, realize and understand that for power and control to exist =abuse must exist.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever be resilient to accept the true nature of myself as the inherent nature of ourselves as humanity as Evil, because of having lived as an idea of being a benevolent being that cares about humanity and life and the environment, and it was ‘impossible’ for me to believe that ‘I’ could ever be ‘a mean person,’ which was simply the way to neglect any form of responsibility that I held toward this reality, simply because of being taught to always ‘do good’ which implies that I had to be educated to ‘tame’ my inner nature of actual evil.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to miss the very basics in common sense wherein: if we had to be trained/ educated/ tamed and indoctrinated to ‘do good’ and be ‘good respectable citizens,’ it implies that the actual nature of ourselves was Never of good, benevolence and actual consideration of each other as equals, otherwise, our education from our emergence into this reality would have been based in simply fine-tuning such ‘benevolent nature,’ and it wasn’t like that – we became the very battle within ourselves through constantly having to place ourselves back in the cage of our ‘do good’ mentality, without having any proper explanation to understand WHY we had to always be fearing ‘the bad’ and ‘the evil,’ which only lead me to create fear toward any bad thought that would come into my mind as a child, fearing my own thoughts, dreams and nature, which I learned to mask very well with smiles, ‘doing good’ and sticking to always thinking on ‘the bright side’ of reality, which caused quite an inner conflict when I would become aware of my own nature.

 

I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to find a sense of vicarious enjoyment through watching the evil nature portrayed in films, stories, books, villains of any kind as they ‘dare’ to represent that which has always existed as my own nature, but hid and suppressed it out of fear, out of having been taught to always ‘do good’ and ‘stick to the positive thinking,’ which caused me to then only become a concealer of thoughts that would come up in my head, and fear them, believing that some other ‘bad entity’ was responsible for it – hence fearing all the dark and evil as it caused tremendous anxiety to face that which I was taught to stay away from at all cost.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the belief in god, spirits and guardians as a way to ‘keep me safe from evil,’ which would be the way for me to cope with that which I came to only constantly fear because of following the education of my parents who have also been educated in a way to always ‘fear the evil’ and ‘stay away from being a bad person,’ which is how I simply became fearful of all things evil, avoiding it at all cost and resorting to the comforting thought of god as a means to protect myself from my own mind and thoughts that could come up in any given moment, which revealed the actual nature that I existed as, but denied and suppressed which caused an inner-struggle and fascination at the same time for it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that within ‘thinking positive’ I was actually correcting my real nature as the thoughts that would come up in my head – which now I see and realize is what we have all been doing as  humanity: staying away from the actual nature of ourselves and stigmatizing anyone that would dare to portray the actual evil-nature of ourselves in a blatant and open manner.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a point of fascination toward ‘all things evil’ and malicious at some point because it seemed ‘more real’ to me than the fluffy caramelized version of reality – associated with the pink color – and in that, always wonder WHY I had such a fascination for the rawness of human evil such as serial killers and demon possessions, wars, brutal massacres and everything that could point out that we were able to be evil/ kill others/ do ‘bad things’ that could disturb the world and society, simply because all of it was revealing our own nature.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to keep myself ‘safe’ from ‘evil’ through developing a personality that could be comfortable with seeing ‘the evil’ in others, but never really pondering where and how I was existing in the exact same nature of such evil and how I had repressed it and suppressed it in order to not have to realize the actual reality of myself as my own mind, as who and what I have always been, which is and must not be ‘feared’ but rather walked through a process to ensure that I no longer stand in the pole of being ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ but just a physical being that is able to coexist with others in Equality, which means: the beginning of the separation that instigated the evil in ourselves is able to be stopped and taken to an end with ourselves walking our process of Self-Honesty to ensure that we stop being the cause of evil/ separation and reverse of Life by stopping ourselves from participating in the same mind-set that disregards everything and every other being as one and equal with ourselves.

 

I see, realize and understand that the current evil in humanity is driven as an energetic experience that begins at a thought level – therefore, I ensure that I become aware of every single thought and forgive myself for every single attempt to give head to a thought that implies harm, abuse, desire for power, revenge, superiority and any other form of separation that is only generated the moment that I see others as separate from myself.

 

I see, realize and understand that every-one that is here is myself, and in that, any ‘battle’ that I generate stems from my very own beingness as energy, as thoughts, as a personality that seeks to ‘thrive’ as a mind in individuality – wherein I then take a deep breath and establish my self-directive principle of Life in Equality, as I see and realize that it is only through me stopping all forms of separation at a thought level, that I can begin correcting the inherent accepted and allowed patterns of separation that I’ve imposed onto Life, which has always been here as myself in and as Equality and Oneness.

 

I commit myself to support myself to lay out all that which I have veiled from myself, to not see who and what I have actually become as a mind that exists in separation of the whole – and in that, become the point that stops existing as ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and in that, correct my physically accepted and allowed patterns of separation that can only exist if I give continuation to who I am and exist as within my own mind.

 

“I commit myself to show why and how – the only solution to ourselves, humanity and so this world: is ourselves within ourselves as God/Energy-Authority/Consciousness control of separation, taking responsibility and walk ourselves into and as equality and oneness with and as the physical-body, and eventually this physical existence through and as the process of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. To, as we stop the separation within, and standing and living absolute equality and oneness as ourselves with and as the physical, we will so stop the separation without, and walk this world/current World-System into and as a System of and as Equality and Oneness, that ensure this world of sacrifice/suffering stop in the name of money, for each to have an equal and one opportunity Life/Living, as we stop the sacrifice/suffering to our own physical-bodies in the name of Energy/Consciousness.” Sunette Spies *

 

For further support: Demonology

Desteni

 

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To Understand the Nature of Evil as Ourselves, Study from day ONE the following blog: Heaven’s Journey to Life 

 


52: Capitalist Quick-Handy-Brainwash

We are all aware of poverty as one of the greatest problems we face on Earth as the direct consequence of having numbed and sedated ourselves quite nicely with knowledge and information that we accepted as ‘unchangeable,’ and that we have simply embedded as a veneer to protect us from facing the real screwed up facts that we have swallowed in the name of our personal “well being” wherein anthems like ‘I don’t care about anyone else but me’ become the voice of a generation that is doomed to remain secluded in a 4 x 4 cell – ehhm… room, proclaiming such perfect brainwashed hate-culture that promotes individualism through the appearance of proud and and bravery while neglecting an entire reality that is crumbling down to pieces.

Within this quick-answers to life, we find several quotes that reflect the collective-acceptance of knowledge as a way to give an explanation to – virtually – all, it doesn’t matter if what’s implied in such quotes is detrimental to life, nooo – what matter is the ability of pumping up an ego that is clearly submitted within a state of ‘powerlessness’ wherein the constant desire to ‘outdo’ others through knowledge and information becomes the equivalent of actual battles to conquer territories in the middle-ages.

Let’s begin with the Holybook that sounds more like Hollywood as its second remake to keep the masses ‘occupied’ while missing the very first acceptance here.

There will always be poor people in the land. Therefore I command you to be openhanded toward your brothers and toward the poor and needy in your land.” Deuteronomy 15:11

 

God/whoever said it: There will ALWAYS be poor people in the land – Massive crime against humanity in the holy-script-you-are yet, what people only look at and ‘Pay’ attention to is ‘oh so what do I have to do to be able to earn the kingdom of god in the heavens?’ which is perfect indoctrination really, be the effect that ‘solves the problem’ instead of ever looking at the cause, which is actually one of the greatest flaws within the ability to observe reality and ourselves as the cause and origin of the problem.

 

Another quick-drive-thru example: I had a discussion with someone defending the use of guns because ‘how else would they defend themselves if someone shoot first’? and in that, missing out the entire root and cause of the problem – how have we dared to build / produce an object as a means to “protect,” embedding in it the ability to be ‘god’ as in taking a being’s life in one split-second.

 

“Life is tons of discipline.” – Robert Frost

Live, work, work, work, have children, work, work, get old and die.

Do not deviate from that (production) line and you’ll be a happy-living fella. Well, we should be aware by now how ‘wisdom quotes’ are used to perpetuate the very system that will maintain everyone with a happy-coat of caramel melting all over you in order to not see the actual truth underneath it all. Discipline is regarded as a ‘positive aspect’ within society for the complacency it implies within the monetary realm: I do not see, I do not hear, I only work and what I earn is for me and my loved ones to live happily ever after – but is it when all that you discipline yourself to is being an obedient robot that doesn’t question why he has to spend 40 years of his life working non stop to be able to “live”? And people learn how to be proud of such achievements while in fact, it’s like an ode to a life-long decimation of any inkling of life in each one of us. And I’d get always this ‘feeling sorry’ for people when noticing this, this asphyxiating routine and how we can mock at each other’s day to day living yet: we are all trapped in the same boat just because of Money.

 

Within that equation Life = tons of discipline: heavy weight, a burden, life is a struggle, life must be fought for, life must be ‘earned’ and not unconditionally given – all of it is reflected in one single moment that you propose to someone the ability to live in Equality = giving and receiving what we want and require within a System that values Life and all you get is complains and even threats toward ‘making sure Equality never works for all’ – Jesus left great words but they have never been lived – whenever you propose Neighborism and living in Equality people go:

Whaaaat?

 

And then the fears come up because: who will I be without ‘this’ discipline? If I don’t require money to motivate me, then ‘what’ will motivate me? And this is not for the sake of judging, I mean It took me quite a long time of actual common sense development to understand the Equal Money System – however, I’m bringing into awareness how one single word can trigger out the most rabid fears toward communism, and abuse of ‘being able to have it all’ which implies one thing: we have never in fact lived, we have only lived to die and survive through.

We are discovering the power of the word, but we’ve certainly trapped ourselves even further whenever we take such words as the ‘law of god’ without actually pondering what is being defended and actually said there.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use knowledge and information in order to blind myself and only bling my eyes with that which sounds ‘right’ and ‘good’ and ‘productive’ within a world wherein ‘my happiness’ depends on ‘my effectiveness’ to be a complacent slave that does not question the most basic accepted and allowed forms of ‘living’ in this world, which are conditioned to money and money and money and my desire to fulfill the ultimate state of ‘superiority’ above others, because that’s what I apparently came here for.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept poverty and starvation, abuse, violation of life in all ways because ‘the bible told me so’ and in that, buying the bill of ‘rights’ and ‘liberties’ that are focused on maintaining a ‘guaranteed individuality’ based on the satisfaction of one’s own ‘living rights’ which are bought and sold only, within a system wherein money is not given to all in Equality, but is instead given upon working as a slave within a system that will ensure that one is so embellished with entertainment, ‘goods to buy’ and the eternal seeking of perfect-picture lifestyles of a thousand smiles and ‘good times’ that I have neglected the very existence of fellow human beings that are most certainly starving and having No say in the system as to why they had to be born as a deliberate outflow of an elite that seeks positivity, power, ‘comfort’ through protectionism provided by money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having been a ‘disciplined being’ in society as that is considered a ‘reward’ within the system wherein: the better slave I am, the more money I get, the less questions I ask, the more I am liked by my boss – and in that, becoming the perfect eslabón (Spanish for link) slave in the chain of be born, consume, make money, love and die as a way to ensure that Life is always at the background, just ‘there’ as a taken-for-granted fact that we can simply ‘make money from’ and in that, believe that it is is ‘how the world works’ and ‘how God wanted it all to be’ – because otherwise, within the realization that it is in fact US that have created this system would create such great distress in people’s lives that all fairy tales would dissolve in a rather caustic manner, implying that they were never real in the first place, but only sustained through prolonged acceptance and allowance of abuse as ‘who we are’ in the system of ‘living, consuming, dying’ and repeating ad nauseam.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the reality that is presented only through flashy pictures on the TV screen about poverty and viewing it in perfect HD while neglecting that the very ability for me to watch poverty through TV implies that I am in fact the elite that has created and manifested poverty as the waste produced every time that I sought my own comfort, happiness, bliss, joy and the ultimate state of satisfaction as the saturation of myself with ‘positivity’ that is translated in physical reality as wealth/ money and a never quenching desire for More.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ‘wisdom quotes’ as a way to defend the apparent ‘human supremacy over matter/life/ Earth’ giving ourselves the ‘permission’ to intellectualize reality to suit our preferences, our knowledgeable ego that is willing to neglect the very basic aspects in which we are sustaining this self-fulfilling suckcessful bubble in the name of my own personal glory.

 

I commit myself to continue exposing the accepted and allowed abuse in this world through the use of knowledge and information as way to mask reality and its rawness with positive attitudes and ‘attributes’ that make the perfect consumer a ‘happy being’ because apparently, such actions provide a sense of ‘well being’ for ourselves, without realizing that it is in the very accepted and allowed words and implications within such words that we have created this reality as the perfect excuse and actual spitefulness toward life, only to suit our self-interest and personal self-enlightened behavior.

 

I commit myself to become the example of what it is to let go of knowledge and information as  way to suit my own ‘needs’ as my-needs is implying that I participate in a world-system of money that is only existent for a minority in this world as an actual means of satisfaction and completion through buying/ consuming to be ‘happy’ in this world, while the same monetary system means absolute disgrace, poverty, enslavement and a never ending rabbit hole wherein life doesn’t meet its needs and money is only seen as that god that has never shown its face to them.

 

I commit myself to stand for Life in Equality no matter what, no matter how many threats and words and spiteful vengeful discussions are walked in the name of defending the system with all claws and weapons of choice which have become words, as ‘wisdom quotes’ as ‘facts’ that people use in the name of guarding that which they love the most: money, power, specialness and their ability to abuse just for a temporary sense of satisfaction and fulfillment in a system where Energy is the real enslavement of humanity.

 

I commit myself to implement the Equal Money System as the one way to show and reveal to what extent we have doomed ourselves by our own negligence toward life itself, wherein I have become the very abuse that the system has been proclaiming as a way to ‘succeed’ which I have bought because there is apparently ‘no other way around in the system.’

 

I commit myself to life no matter how many rocks are thrown as words that intend to kill and perpetuate abuse, as I realize that ‘them’ are myself and all I can do is show the way to forgive ourselves for the delusion we have created, bought and sold in the name of personal interest – and within that, showing, revealing and sharing examples of how we stand for Life in Equality as an actual living-statement that Life must be valued in equality for and as All that is here in this same ecosystem as the Earth, and that there is an actual way to go forward which implies each one’s will to stand as an equal in this world, and be the actual change that is required to promote a new living-system that will never again have to use words/ knowledge and information in means of satisfying only mind-egos, but actually support practical living-life between all living beings on Earth.

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum for further support to develop Common Sense, Self Honesty and an actual living-understanding of what Equality as Life implies/ means.

 

 

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This blog is in continuation to Day 16: Who am I

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2010 Do YOU have a Suckcessful Living? – YouTube

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Day 35: Golden Corpses for Sale

In a world where surgically removed stillborn babies are roasted dry and covered in gold leaf to then be trafficked and sold for £4,000 for any form of ‘good luck’ amulets/ rituals/ spiritualism, can we expect our fellow human beings to let go of beliefs that are sold in the most obscure ways? Can we redeem our insanity as species? Do we respect Life or do we value more Money than Life? Or is it Beliefs that we truly value the most? Are we all equally participants of this that we might believe is absolutely gruesome?[1]

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a living species that is willing to sell anything in the name of ‘good luck’ and ‘good omen’ as a belief in order to earn money that will allow me to continue living in this world, without realizing that I have only enslaved myself to the monetary system the same way that I have created a belief about stillborn babies being of any ‘good luck’ within rituals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that selling dead fetuses covered in gold can in any way have any ‘magical powers’ to bring good luck/good fortune, not realizing that all that I am asking as ‘good fortune’ is related to money and sex, as these are the two aspects that have become the drive within my every day living

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to traffic dead bodies and cover them with gold to make them more special than the dust of the Earth that they represent, wherein I am making money out of that which should be buried back on the Earth – but instead I’ve allowed myself to make money out of a single belief linked to Kuman Thong and a good fortune amulet, which is again, desiring money and power that can only exist in a system where life is not respected, where life is sold and where I can traffic with dead bodies to make money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a buyer of dead bodies/living beings for the sake of my own personal interest according to beings being of ‘good omen’ within my beliefs which I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see are absolutely delusional when it comes to asking for ‘good fortune’ by using beings as a means to do so, which implies that I have become an equal abuser that is willing to pay for dead bodies in the name of good fortune.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I would not require to be selling/ buying living/ dead beings in order to make money within a certain religious/spiritual belief, if money was a given-right at birth, wherein I would no longer require to ask for ‘good fortune,’ which is translated to Money. I realize that I can instead of promoting beliefs in the name of waiting and hoping for a god/ energy/ source point to ‘give me good fortune,’ to actually Create it by Taking Self Responsibility for my world, the World-System as I see and realize that the opportunity to live in dignity is in my hands if I dare to stand up and let go of greed, beliefs and the desire to be powerful, as power can only exist if abuse exists.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make use of dead living beings for rituals in black magic, Santeria, animism and any other cult belief wherein the consecration of any living/ dead matter is used and abused as a means to obtain ‘power’ or any other apparent ‘good luck’ related charms, without realizing that all that has lead me to traffic life and death is only because of money not being a given-right to life, and I’ve resorted to make money and earn copious amounts of it by trafficking with stillborn babies as an ability to become part of the rare-item sellers that can produce for a selective group of people that are willing to pay for such items, due to their beliefs about them which have been created and instigated by fellow human beings throughout time.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs about charms and magical powers that any living being – including young children – have for rituals, spiritualism, spiritism, animism, black magic, Santeria – wherein abuse toward another being’s physical body is inflicted in the name of a godly-power, in the name of unseen spirits that are used as a way to justify abuse onto another being, which is then linked to ‘good fortune’ which can only prove the delusional traits that I’ve accepted and allowed to exist within myself in order to always ‘win’ and have the ‘best luck in the world,’ which is translated to Money and Sex – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create cults, religions, sects, spiritual endeavors in the name of bettering ‘human’s living condition’ which is often related to ritualistic abuse of the living matter in the name of money, power and personal satisfaction, which reveals that who I have accepted and allowed myself to become is a greedy being that is willing to kill, to sell dead bodies, to abuse young children, to kill animals, to torture beings, to force sexual acts, to denigrate a human being’s reality in the name of a ‘superior power’ as the ritualistic abuse that is conducted in the name of obtaining power/ control/ special gifts that are all based within the same belief system according to anything being able to be ‘more’ than who and what we already are as this physical reality that exists in equality – yet we have become so deluded that we are trafficking with dead bodies and covering them with gold to make them a ‘rare exclusive item,’ and in that placing such ‘rare exclusive item’ as an object of good-charms and personal power, which is proof of how insanity is able to be accepted as ‘normal’ if there is a religious background to sustain such belief

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the abuse of living/dead beings in the name of rituals within spiritual/ religious contexts as a ‘tradition’ that is seen as acceptable and ‘okay’ because we have become the accomplices of these delusions in the name of ‘respecting people’s beliefs,’ which is proof of how we are willing to see the abuse of life and selling it in the name of greed and personal belief of super natural powers as something that is acceptable because it is a religious/ cult/ spiritual belief.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that living beings can in fact have ‘superior powers/ magical powers’ and create any form of positive/ negative effect upon others, which is equal to and one with the belief that we have created the current system wherein money is the energy that allows us to have a positive or negative experience according to having/ not having it, which leads us to participate in the same system of abuse wherein selling corpses for money for ritual purposes is no different to selling any other living being for personal satisfaction, consumption and/or luxury item that is as promoted in our reality as any other religion would promote sacrifices as a way to obtain ‘more power’ over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that consumerism is a religion, and that any ritual behavior wherein life is sold is equal to and one with any other religious fanaticism that people believe cannot be changed/ stopped and is imperative to follow in order to obtain ‘good fortune,’ which is the same with how we all require money to exist and are willing to sell anything and anyone – including ourselves – in the name of money in order to survive, compromising each other to exist within cycles of abuse that are able to be stopped if we will ourselves to establish an Equal Life System

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish fellow living beings to items that can be sold, which includes everything that we are consuming at the moment to eat, to wear, to move ourselves as I see and realize that everything that is keeping my current ‘lifestyle’ running, is based on being able to have money to buy and use life’s source to transform it into energy to continue living – yet doing this within a system wherein Life is being Sold – wherein we are all equally trafficking with selling life in the name of survival, which is delusional when seeing and realizing that we can actually create a solution for All equally in this world to be able to stop all deification of money, all ritualistic abuse,  all super natural beliefs that are all leading to personal power, to create a Living System wherein money becomes the representation of Life in Equality as a given right for all to be able to live in dignity and stop indulging into abusing life in the name of money/god.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people selling dead stillborn babies covered in gold leaf, without realizing that by me existing in this very same system that enables the ability to buy/sell living beings/life, I am equally responsible for this form of abuse that is the current ruling government in this world, which leads me to realize that any form of judgment that I’ve held toward ‘abusers’ is actually pointing out to myself that I have become an equal abuser by the single fact of perpetuating a system wherein Life can be sold in the name of personal power  = we all equally buy it, sell it and thrive upon abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people’s beliefs as ‘extreme/bizarre’ and ‘absolutely abusive,’ without realizing that who I have become as a participant within our current monetary system is being one and equal to any person being able to make money out of selling life no matter ‘which way’ it is made – I see and realize that the same a stillborn baby covered in gold leaf is sold for personal power/ good charms, the same for a woman that sells her body for sexual services to make money to live, the same someone buys a car in the name of personal satisfaction/ power/ social status or simple mobility, which proves that we often disregard how everything is interdependent as a chain-massacre of abuse toward life the moment that we have all accepted and allowed money to become ‘the point’ that we all require to continue living in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to create a world system of money that provides equal life for all, and instead support, instigate and be an enthusiast of beliefs that will apparently create ‘good luck’ out of nowhere, without having the least idea of how this reality works and how nothing can be brewed out of ‘nowhere’ in this reality, and within this neglecting the consequences that my desires and personal dreams create in this world, which is to the detriment of all living participants which includes myself, invariably so.

I commit myself to stop any beliefs of items/beings/ life having any form of ‘super natural power’ that can ‘heal me’ and make a more ‘powerful’ being, which is implying that I am not satisfied with myself here as the physical being that I am and that require basic sustenance, but instead want to ‘be more’ which can only exist as a delusional idea in the mind wherein atrocities toward life are daily perpetrated in order to satisfy a chain-need of personal satisfaction according to that which I can ‘buy’ to make my life better.

 

I commit myself to stop seeking any form of personal power/ wellbeing at the expense of other living beings which implies that, in order to do this, I must become part of the necessary reforms in this world to create an actual way to support all life in Equality, wherein beliefs are no longer a reason to abuse in the name of personal-improvement and power translated to money, but instead Life is dignified, respected and given and received as an actual realization that we can become beings that respect life as each other, and stop any form of abuse that was only held by the ability to make of life a lucrative business.

 

I commit myself to expose all rites, cults, spiritual fanaticism, deification of dead bodies and sacrifice of alive ones in the name of a spiritual/ religious beliefs and cultist behavior  instigated by the desire for personal power/ good luck which is and has become the driving force to accept any form of abuse in this world of which we are all equal participants the moment that we have endowed money with ‘real power’ over life, as a belief system wherein some can be/have ‘more’ than others according to the power to acquire life-resources to live and thrive in reality at the expense of others that cannot.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is only through an economical, social and political system based on Life in Equality that real well-being can emerge for all living beings, wherein religions, spiritual practices and any other form of cultist activity will cease to exist the way they do now, because it will be realized that there is no need to pray and abuse life to recreate rituals to obtain any form of ‘well being’ as it will be a birth-right to be supported to live and educated to understand how it is that any form of abuse of fellow living beings constitutes abuse toward oneself.

 

I commit myself to share myself and become part of the instructors of life that can allow human beings to step out of and stop participating in beliefs that have been inculcated and reinforced within particular cultures and traditions that never considered that a change in the world system is possible and that their current acceptance of spiritual/ religious beliefs is in fact a form of abuse toward life which is who they are as well.

 

I commit myself to promote information that can allow common sensical living realizations in various aspects of our day to day living reality as humanity,  in order to go re-educating ourselves into beings that start considering how our life will change the moment that Life is no longer a lucrative business, but given as an equal recognition of who we are as life, in Equality

 

I commit myself to promote the Equal Money System as the necessary reform within this system that will prove that abuse can only stem from the need to make money to live in this world – hence by giving Equal Money for All, we can begin establishing a primordial sense of Neighborism that should have always existed on Earth as a god-given right realization that Life is here for all, equally as one and that no one has the right to abuse it in the name of personal power.

 

Visit Desteni for more support to stop all beliefs

Walk the Desteni I Process to walk your own mind of all beliefs that have lead us to exist in the current belief-system that we’re living now that can certainly be equalized as we go walking our own individual processes of equalization within our own lives.

Visit the Equal Money System site and vote on the proposals that we present as a new consideration of what Life must be on Earth:

The Equal Money System will allow Religious Freedom of Association as long as it does not impede on the Right to Life and Protection and Equal Distribution of Resources, or impede on the Fulfillment, Education and Lifestyle of Each Living Being on Earth.

 

 

Articles:

Money-World System explained in detail:

  • The Hierarchical Distribution of LifeThe Soul of Money is a series of lectures that explain the relationship between consciousness, human beings, the mind, the physical and our current monetary system that is busy collapsing as an existential process of the Equalization of Life establishes its roots on Earth.

Blogs:

Books:

 

Read more about ourselves – Download the Free Book here:


2012 Death in every breath until life is all that remains

 

Realizing how we have suppressed and caged life within and by our own minds, creating the entire reality as that suppression of life, as the control of life in order to remain easily numbed by the perception of having to ‘attain’ something in separation of ourselves, while missing out the whole that is here as self.

 

This process is the realization of that ability we have to create ourselves and must not be taken lightly – I can only share it and if one is willing to live it, one will hear and walk along.


The world is divided and conquered within tagging on our ‘personal lifestyle’ – so the way to go is equalizing our lifestyle and world into equality. Words are the key here – one single sentence as one single rhyme that points out we have created this mess and lies, and that there’s no time to rest. We perceived we lost the key, while the key has been always here, beneath our eyes and above our mouths – breathing, living, realizing ourselves as the physical living flesh that has been tampered with our mind maze.

 

The consequences of our own imprisonment cannot be taken lightly as it is with this light that we have shaded reality; love and light we used as misleading words into an illusion of grandeur, a bubble of ethereal self interest that never considered that this physical reality is as real as us having to eat in order to continue living in.

 

Be that point of change you want to see in your world – you’ve got the common sense, so why keeping it to yourself? Dare to create a shift within yourself as who knows if there will be a ‘next’ time for that –

 

Stand as the sound that enables self-realization and gets to the ears the ones that are willing to Hear, to be Here, stopping spreading the ‘vibes’ that promote vile-ends within rhymes that forget that the one we oppose can only be myself within this ‘role’ of playing games to satisfy the lies that have kept sterilized from common sense, within the belief that we could only be ‘free’ with all the money and fueling each other’s greed.

 

Choose life – stop battling and self-loathing in a world wherein war is the ever presence in the back of our own heads.

Reflecting decay at all time – what have we accepted caged Life with? Some ideas as roles that oppose each other, that can love and hate and praise and loath from one blink of an eye to the next – is that what life is actually about? 

 

Our words are a self-supportive mirror that we can share in order to learn how to use words as self-support, not as carriers of the same old songs that delivered no actual support to this world that we built with every single word, that we mostly spoke out of scorn – never realizing that it was only self-here – the whole is the whole and there is nothing to be empty of. 

 

Standing up for Life  is not to fight, oppose or defend, it is about becoming aware that in order for us to live we have to take on every word, deed and thought we have powered within and by ourselves – and thus breath by breath we start to see that all that exists as life is me.

Ask yourself: what’s the substance that is moving me at the moment to exist? What drives me to create? Who am I within this point of expression? Is there a way that I can express this common sense within this expression that I create as myself ? If there is any fear of loss, you can know there is a limitation based on preserving an ‘idea’ of who we are – not yet realizing who self is as one and equal here and cannot be bent.

Reinventing is allowing ourselves to live and die in every moment of breath – daring to step into the unknown here as the integration of all missed bits of self here (life) and slowly but surely stop and leave the old behind (death.) Afterwards, only that which is real will remain: self-as-life here equal-and-one.

 
Applying this to everything we do and what will we get? 

Death of that self-protected idea of self as the necessary step for life to emerge – we are the only ones that built up the cage. Delivering the message of self responsibility is and must be a living extension if self realization is lived here, in every breath as self willing self to live  – self-expression that emerges as words that we have all longed to hear and live, yet never dared to figure out that: we are able to live them  if we simply stop and forgive ourselves to see that the the reconciliation is only one breath away.

That’s how it’s fascinating that everything I do/ say and think creates myself and my own experience in this reality, what a perfect way to trap yet support ourselves to inevitably be starring at ourselves the whole time, to not be able to break the mirror in a mind-blasting scene, but having to inevitably face it and live the correction until the reflection that I see is no longer an idea bound to ideas, judgments, fears, perceptions of and as a defined image of the mind – We are able to stand as self equal and one here, wherein the reflection is no more, because the mirror will hold no reflection any longer.

Once there is no image to correct – we’ll know there are no more definitions left, as self here would have pieced the puzzle back together again.

 

We have this lifetime to realize that: every moment counts, every breath is the opportunity to liberate the life that we have caged in all the bits of limitation that we created of ourselves as our mind. The mind is not the enemy, it is the perfect mirror to trap ourselves within an inevitable reflection of which we have all the tools to equalize ourselves to.

Who we are here requires no praise and no worship, no belief – who we are here is self-evident and the points to correct begin within ourselves, and emerge from the layers of self deceit, if we are self-honest enough to dare and see.

If you equalize yourself as the words you speak, people that can hear, will hear. Words are the carriers of the message, we become and stand as the voices that stir the wheel.

Jesus said  ‘love thy neighbor as thyself’ – ‘give to another what you would like to receive’ -  his message was ridiculed, opposed and later on turned into a 2000 + year old empire that stands against the basic message that he left. It is suggested to not become part of the ones that ridiculed life as you can only be mining out on creating your own destiny and ability to live.

We are the ‘second coming’ that is here as all of us, to finally birth life as the physical.  Ask yourself:
Do I want to live or do I want to die? That’s the question we all have to ask ourselves in every moment of breath here.

Let this not be words that come and go as the ebb and flow that our mind tends to only be stirred up with, but become the one that stirs the wheel in the only certain outcome that will remain in this world and reality: life in reality as what’s best for all in all ways, self here.

Breathing ourselves here

 

Reptilians – The Death and Rebirth of Self – Part 12


2012 Self Forgiveness: How-To, Why, What, Where, When?

So, I’m watching Desteni videos – I am going one after the other looking for the ‘magic code’ that I can use to essentially deprogram myself now that I’ve understood that we have been preprogrammed Mind Consciousness Systems and we require to do something about it! I definitely don’t want to remain just as another ‘consciousness robot’ that’s not living, but only killing time – What do I have to do? – Where do I find the way out? – What’s the secret?’  these were my thoughts 4 years ago.

Initially I got so freaked out by watching the videos and hearing the words ‘STOP THE MIND’ so many times, that I feared ending up in like a vegetative state. I thought that this process was simply impossible and wondered how on Earth will I go on through my life with ‘No Mind’! I admit here that I was very gullible, that’s probably one of the reasons why I indulged into so much bullshit (spirituality and conspiracy theories) that I researched right before getting to Desteni. With having this ‘background,’  I didn’t take into consideration what was actually meant by ‘stopping the mind,’ and only allowed myself to get into what I now call ‘the whiner experience’ wherein I created a turmoil of thoughts, giving up on myself even before I started. This was due to this process being seemingly  impossible at first glance: ‘too much’, ‘unbearable’, ‘How will I do this?’ – It worried me for a while, lol, all part of the same mind-experience created within myself.

Within this state of enraged-pity, I sent a message to the guys at Desteni explaining my situation, how I was literally ‘losing my mind’ by realizing that I had to stop my mind – and wondered how will I live, what will I be? Etc. The reply that I got from them was, to my surprise, of such simplicity and obviousness that I literally laughed out loud while reading it, as I realized how usual this experience had been throughout my life: it was my mind throwing a tantrum, the mind’s defense mechanism to not have to go through this process = it’s not who I really am as life the one that’s complaining! So, this point became an initial realization: stopping myself from being the whiner. Ever since then I have shared that video with anyone that experiences the same point of it all being seemingly ‘impossible’ to walk through, only to realize that it’s the mind’s survival mechanism kicking-in and literally crying out for help when realizing: we’re about to debunk its kingdom.

Once I got over my initial reactions, I simply continued watching the material.

Self Forgiveness ?

I constantly heard the words Self-Honesty, Self-Forgiveness, Writing, Breathing, Self Corrective Application in the videos, which I inferred was ‘the way to go.’ I began assessing my then ‘values’ and ‘stance’ toward such words.

I was a ‘pro-Honesty’ person within the understanding of what ‘being Honest’ is/means in the system, which could have been like declaring war toward another being or country in a ‘rational and logical’ manner, and be considered as ‘being honest’ by ‘speaking the truth of their intentions’ without ever considering what’s best for all in such words/ decisions. I had considered myself to be a ‘frank person’ within those parameters, not really considered ‘what’s best for all’ in such a honest self-created idea of myself.  So, this is how I began opening eyes to what SELF-Honesty was, which made sense to me in every bit of it.

Writing was something I had been doing at the time – yet definitely using it as a reinforcement of my own personalities wherein poems or lyrics to songs I never sang would come through, lol – in essence, I wrote to form and shape my personality, just like a sculpture that I was busy creating of myself as a nice idea that I could wear. Those writings became the ‘code’ so to speak, wherein I would reassure to myself ‘who I was’ and why I thought in a particular way, why I liked or disliked the world.  I didn’t really write to get me out of my self-created‘hole,’ but rather reinforced it and justified it as ‘a way of living.’ This was all I would write about at that time.

When realizing what the process consisted of, I understood that this had to be developed in order to ‘change the world.’ I had no problem in directing such points into a ‘one and equal’ understanding, but… Self Forgiveness? All types of judgments went on inside me along with the usual questions like: ‘Why do I have to forgive myself?’ ‘Why can’t I just ‘let it go/ stop it?’ – ‘Isn’t that a religious thing?’ – ‘Isn’t there just another way to do this (process) instead of having to write out this format-like sentences to correct myself?’ I was very skeptical and even went to the extent of fearing ‘deprogramming myself,’ fearing getting to a point of having ‘no control’ over myself = essentially fearing becoming a ‘self forgiven drone’ lol, without actually realizing at the time that I was already Not ‘in control’ of myself and that I was a mind-driven being that had never actually lived.

We tend to get overwhelmed by the sole idea of having to forgive ourselves for everything that we’ve lived-as thus far and forgive ourselves as the entire world for that matter. This was only an initial mind-experience that we then fear ‘getting ourselves into,’ because it just seems ‘too much’ and we go into self-pity experiences of ‘I can’t possibly do this’, I went through a breakdown due to having to let go of my ideas of there being a ‘quick fix’ to this reality, or even some type of God existing to which I could ‘connect to’ and get to a ‘greater self-experience.’ This was all part of the mindfuck that was required to be stopped in the first place.

So I said to myself, I can’t go on as I am we’ve got to stop the world and for that we begin with ourselves. At first it seemed really petty to have this as a reason to do so, I still held secret desires on a magic wand doing the job for me wherein I would only have to ‘apply self forgiveness’ as in writing it out and the problem would be solved – later on I found out what it really was all about.

I got my shoes on, let’s walk this!

I went on to the forum just to see what Self Forgiveness was after spending the first weeks just trying to get used to the idea of me applying Self Forgiveness – initially it seemed like a repetitive drone of words wherein I would have to go through every bit of my memories, my ‘life’ and apply Self Forgiveness for it. It seemed extensive, in my mind there was like an immediate ‘No way! That is impossible’ within forming ideas of having to then spend the rest of my days applying Self Forgiveness non-stop, lol. That’s the ‘extremist’ aspect of the personality I continue exploring through writing and stopping within this process.

After reading the very first examples on Self Forgiveness by Jack, I sat on my bed in the afternoon and began reading. I saw myself in the awkward position of reading along those statements aloud for the very first time in my life. . I probably even blushed to myself, even if I was absolutely alone, it was just so ‘not me’ to be forgiving myself considering that I had lived as a self-righteous person that thinks, believes everything I do is ‘word’ and cannot be wrong. The single act of sitting down and reading self forgiveness was an immediate humbling moment, it was already being like a hand grenade blown toward my ego: it was about to be blown up for life.

One of the first points that I walked through self forgiveness was exposing the mind’s limitations and fears and any other emotion/feeling attached to beginning this process in itself. I literally had created this surreal scenario of ‘me walking process’ wherein I saw myself as a zombie passing by ‘regular people’ on the streets and simply having to remain ‘blank’ the whole time. Nope, that was my own misconception that was later on part of my own fears blowing Process out of proportion – laughing at it was a cool way to shed the point off and simply get myself to start writing,  committing myself to myself to life no matter what.

WHAT?

Okay, so… what is this supposed to do now? I’m now free from god? from the female ego? and I’m now Self Honest?” Lol, my first ideas on Self Forgiveness were linked to this being a process wherein I would be doing some type of magic spell by simply stating the words/ writing myself out and having it all ‘cleared up’– let’s say that the entire aspect of having to Live Self Forgiveness wasn’t really understood at that time. So, I decided to apply the point of being unconditional about it, I had nothing to lose.

I proceeded to first start writing a point out to see ‘how it worked’ which was working with the most prominent experiences I had in that moment. I wasn’t even participating that much at the time in the forums, I just focused on setting this foundation for myself, because I knew this was the way to walk the process, to stand up for life and finally stop my mind – I ‘knew’ it, yet it had to be walked and self-realized.

I noticed how at first it all seemed so repetitive – ‘Why can’t I just say ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself’ once and then just name the whole list and ‘get over with it’?’ – I was still looking for the ‘fast and accurate’ way out of it, took some time to grasp what I was actually doing as ‘Forgiving myself’ after applying the usual ‘fake it till you make it’ wherein words don’t seem to mean anything – and in fact, they won’t! Unless you Live them. This was the ‘aha-moment’ that I had to walk and discover for myself through the actual application of it in time.

I must say that the judgment toward the word forgiveness remained even after a while into writing and process. To me it was like a silent-cringe inside me whenever I would hear myself forgiving myself, because of having these concepts of religion and priests and the entire religious-construct along with the word ‘forgiveness.’ It was just plain icky at the beginning.

Key-point here: I hadn’t applied Self Forgiveness for judging the word Self-Forgiveness in itself and clearing out the associations toward it. I had to see how the ‘awkwardness’ was linked to this memory of that one and only time that I ever ‘confessed myself’ to a priest, which remained like a very bitter experience in my life, almost like having to swallow a medicine that leaves a very bad taste in your mouth for a while. The priest spoke the word ‘forgiveness’ and so to me that had just left a stigma toward that word. I never went to confess myself again and in my mind, applying self forgiveness was like confessing my ‘dark deeds’ to myself, which I saw as a cool point in terms of not having to resort to telling my stuff to someone in order to be ‘absolved from my sins.’ Then I realized what a nice trick religion had created in order to be the ‘only ones’ that can endow you with such ‘god-given right to forgive you,’ whereas Self-Forgiveness implied: I can do it myself -  awesome, way to go to debunk faith and beliefs.

I applied self forgiveness on feeling ‘icky’ and weird and judging the word forgiveness and self forgiveness in itself – the whole lot of points that went opening up as I went writing out the sentences around thoughts like ‘why do I have to forgive myself,’ ‘why forgiveness sounds like something priests do to others,’ forgiveness related to god, forgiveness related to me having done something ‘wrong’, forgiveness as in ‘asking someone forgiveness’ and even ideas on this being a humiliating process and embarrassing even for myself alone.

When beginning process I also  noticed how I also wanted to ‘get over with my past shit and move on’ which I did through writing it all out and sharing it as a form of also demonstrating something to someone of my own application – in a way following an ‘ideal’ of clearing myself fro such ‘sins’ as soon as possible. This is not something that was ‘wrong’ or anything. simply I found out in that process how we find our own way to establish ourselves through process in a ‘trial and error’ manner.

In my case it was mostly through writing that I opened up points to apply Self Forgiveness for,  having that ‘freedom to write’ wherein I’d share all the apparent trivial points of my days. I would experience certain blockages while writing out self forgiveness whenever I would jump in my mind into an idea of ‘myself within process’ wherein we believe that we are doing something that will make us ‘better,’ make us ‘more’ in any way – Nope, not at all. I quote a sentence that came through a chat  once“The Self as life has no language or Skill yet.” Realizing the humbleness required to walk this process was quite a cool point within it all,  as it allowed me to stop having to ‘uphold’ a particular idea of myself I had been bound myself for my entire life as living up to the ‘highest standard’ possible at an intellectual level.

I had to let go of this ego-formed around been specific and effective within my application – it is still being stopped whenever it rears its head. I realized that it could only feed yet another ‘ideal’ of myself becoming something/ someone ‘better’ instead of simply realizing that self-honest application here will not enhance any egos, but only reveal/ expose and function as support to direct ourselves into an actual practical physical living realization of who we really are, supporting us to take off the blindfold to see what we all really are.

WHY ?

The simplest reason I can name of why I came to apply Self Forgiveness was to simply get to actually Live. I understood we can’t possibly go on as we have in this world,  we have to stop what we’ve accepted and allowed within ourselves and actually get to the realization that it is in fact possible to create a new world if each individual that is willing to stand up for life, dedicates themselves to themselves, to live a process wherein Life is considered in all aspects as one and equal – always.

I wanted to stop being the same self-deprecating system with all these habits and obsessions and desires to know and obtain any form of ‘truth’ to create a ‘meaning to life.’ When I heard that Self Forgiveness was the way to first of all STOP all of those delusions to then live, I realized that I had to ‘test this out for myself’, I couldn’t just continue watching the material and absorbing all the knowledge and information for the delight of my own witty-ego satisfaction, no.

I initially went ‘full-on’ applying Self Forgiveness and had a heavy-duty time with it with writing out a lot. I was still having this ‘urge’ to get something done, to ‘get it done’ and be finally ‘here’ with “no-mind” and being finally free, I was still applying Self Forgiveness from that starting point of achieving something, not really realizing what I was doing was part of the process of first getting to establish Self Honesty within myself.

I realized how this process is not about ‘bettering ourselves’ or ‘personal growth’ but simply the realization of what we are actually able and capable of living-as, directing ourselves toward our optimum-state and living in our fullest potential. This all made sense to me as the way this world and reality ‘should have always been’ – I saw how the point that was in between us from realizing our actual ability to stop and correct ourselves had only been ourselves as the mind. We are the only ones standing on our way– this is paraphrasing Bernard. All the ‘lostness’ thoughts began to diminish, because I saw that I had only ‘gotten lost’ according to the thoughts that I had given space and many breaths away to exist as ‘who I am,’ I then realized to what extent this had been my own creation and how I had to take self responsibility for it.

I suggest reading the blog ‘How I was able to Hear Desteni’ for further details about these first days of encountering it. Even though it all sounded extremely weird to me, I decided to ‘give it a try’ simply because I had already gone through other processes in trying to ‘make myself feel better’ which had not really been effective or with ‘long lasting effects’ just like the temporary bridge they were. I decided to apply Self Forgiveness in part also to see ‘what it was all about’ and not allow me to only formulate ideas/ beliefs about it without testing it for myself.

HOW ?

The initial experience within applying Self Forgiveness was fueled  with regret, shame and guilt when realizing what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist-as in this world, and how we had – within such possession-  created a world of hatred and separation. Myself being the +1 point that supported such depression,  anxiety, walking with this constant judgmental view on the world  that I allowed myself to be and become.  I walked through my reality seeking for experiences, people, drugs or anything that could allow me to ‘grasp’ this reality, to not feel ‘lost’ and apparently gaining some type of ‘higher status’ to be special, to at least ‘know’ any form of ‘truth’ within this reality that would make me feel like there was a ‘point’ in this existence -  though I could only continue seeing  that nothing made sense.

This is almost a ‘normal thing’ to go-through when realizing all the moments that we’ve spent in our little bubbles secluded from the rest of the world. Thus I initially rushed in means of ‘clearing my name/image’ as soon as possible. I had the idea that it was all about writing the self forgiveness out in one go, and then being ‘clear/ absolved’ of it forevermore. No, that was only my ego once again wanting to ‘shove it all away’ as fast as I could to regain a certain ‘peace of mind’ and be done with it -  it was just another attempt to regain the experience of ‘everything is fine,’ without really grasping how this was a process to be lived for a lifetime.

Self Forgiveness can only support us in identifying the points that we have to correct ourselves,  yet as we know, this takes the actual physical integration of that which I vow to stand for, Self as the starting point in all ways = walking the talk.

It was through the support through forums, Bernard, Sunette and everyone else participating at Desteni that I realized that Desteni was no quick fix, that it would take the actual living-application of it, that I had to actually walk-it, live-it, fall and rise again, make mistakes as many as I had to in order to get to know which road Not to follow – I realized that I actually required to DO THIS, that this was no prayer or magic wand wherein I could just simply spell nice words and pretend all is well – no.

I also had to see how I had never ever done this as it’s not a preprogrammed thing to do. I realized that it wouldn’t come as a single easy decision wherein you chose from one color to another, but that it would take an actual self-commitment and self-will to prove if what was being shared with regards to Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty and writing ourselves to freedom was actually supportive. Till this day I can say: yes it is, absolutely.

At times I would be quite overwhelmed with all the points I would go opening up through Self Forgiveness. It was a process wherein through writing and making it a consistent point within my every day living, it became a habit, a cool habit to start getting to know myself, to see where and how it is required to apply self forgiveness, how to apply self forgiveness for the experiences of the day. I mean, to me writing became like the most enjoyable part of the day and till this day, If I don’t write a day it would be because I’m absolutely sick or something – even if I don’t write blogs on a daily basis, I am continually writing somewhere in the internet or for myself in a notebook. It’s become part of myself – and it’s a very coo habit to develop a point of self-communication wherein we are able to ground ourselves as self-support and share it whenever we can with others as well. Writing and words are the key to this reality – and this is a Destonian realization, we are proving it for ourselves as we walk.

All in all, Self Forgiveness was a trial and error process initially, wherein I virtually began applying Self Forgiveness for everything and all that I noticed in my environment, in my thoughts, in the world – it’s cool though because that’s how I got to discern what is common sense, what is Self Honesty, what are points that I have to open up further and how eventually applying/ living Self Forgiveness would imply the ‘actual doing’/ walking of all of these statements.

This was finally something that I had to ‘make it work’ = it was no quick fix or magical wand as I had desired it initially to be – that’s when I began ‘meeting my maker’ for real, because Self Forgiveness became ‘the way’ to start seeing what the hell on Earth I was thinking and going through at all times as the inner chatter that I had dared to call ‘my best friend.’

WHEN ?

Once I started grasping Self Honesty, I saw that I could no longer be fooling myself with playing the same old ‘me’ when I had clearly set out the reasons, excuses and justifications for me being/ becoming a particular way – the self-interest, the narcissism, the arrogance, the self-inflated ego, the obsessions, the self-created delusions were out and in the open now, I could not fool myself nor did I want to continue deceiving myself. I can openly say now that it is through applying and living Self Forgiveness that I found what Self-Respect is, what actually establishing Self-Trust is based on one’s own writings and realizations and practical-living application of such realizations as well.

The moment that I saw that even after leaving behind all the idea of myself I was still ‘Here,’ fears started vanishing – and I continued walking no matter what. Self Forgiveness became ‘the way of living’ from the perspective of being able to correct myself when seeing ‘the point’ that was missed in a moment wherein – yes – a breath was missed.

Breathing through resistances to bring-through a point within Self Forgiveness, breathing through the initial judgment that may come whenever we expose to ourselves a point that we had suppressed and not looked at out of embarrassment, shame, guilt or fear – breathing through reactions is the way to go once you see the same points emerging after having applied self forgiveness for the point, such as my initial judgment toward Self-Forgiveness in itself.

I remember once buying myself an only-self-forgiveness bloc of notes and the day that I had finished writing on the very last page, I felt ‘so cool’ about it, I planned to save it for the posterity lol – I lost it that same day at the bus station, I realized that such process was not to be ‘cherished’ and that it wasn’t about creating a collection of self-forgiveness, but actually walking through the process of living it, living the correction that I had seen through my writings that I had to stop, correct, align within the principle of what’s best for all. Eventually I understood that I could write heaps – yet if it wasn’t applied, then it was absolutely useless.

I also saw how any ‘good feeling’ I could get out of applying Self Forgiveness, was a mind generated experience and had to be stopped.

When getting specific support on the point through the Tree of Life I realized how ‘my past was still haunting me’ literally and how I was creating an actual experience of rushing or even anxiety in wanting to ‘get rid of the fucker as soon as possible and be at peace,’ without actually realizing that I had to first let go of wanting to ‘overcome myself’ but simply face the points for what they are, self forgive and walk the process at the physical pace of breathing – moment by moment.

This ‘rush’ had to be stopped by first realizing that I had to clear myself from such thoughts of guilt, regret and shame that had emerged when writing myself to freedom, I wanted to ‘get over with it’ as soon as possible. I then realized that ‘there is nothing to attain’, there is nothing to ‘get to’ or ‘become’ – It is about realizing who/ what I really am,  that I am Here and I can’t define and limit myself within a perceived amount of time that I require to do this. So, rushing is linked to a self-competition through time against myself, against the personality I had become. So, forgiving myself for that became the pillar to walk in humbleness, to realize there is nothing to ‘attain’ or get, but is an actual walking-living self-realization that will be proven through our own participation in space and time in our reality.

This also included stopping the expectations or ideals of ‘who I will become once I have applied Self Forgiveness’ – making sure I didn’t form any self-grandeur within it, any ego enhancement as being then ‘more’ than others or now being ‘done’ with myself and not requiring to continue, that’d be rather another mindfuck to debunk indeed – and I remind myself of this every time that it is required. It is a constant living application. 

Living Self Forgiveness

I never knew how layered my personality was until I started applying Self Forgiveness

It was shocking to start seeing how I was essentially avoiding ‘mingling’ with people around me based on this idea/ personality I had of myself. I started realizing how I had become that which I had vehemently judged others for: I had become my own worst nightmare without ever noticing it. By this I mean a rather picky, elitist, judgmental, arrogant being that would only care to ‘spend time’ with those people that would ‘care’ about me as I did for them – conveniently so – I would not give a reverend fuck about the rest, I only cared about my little bubble. So, when applying self forgiveness and going understanding that this process was to expose myself for everything I had become, it initially was something I resisted, just because of fearing to face the reality that I had become, the actual  ‘true nature’ of myself while I had though of myself as being a nice and delightful person. This was then obviously out of still playing out my core-personality, instead of being fully unconditional within the application.

See, the cool thing about Self Forgiveness is that we realize that we’ve existed as patterns, patterns repeat by ‘nature/design’, we realize that due to the extent that we’ve lived as the mind, we will be facing layers upon layers of the same pattern in various different aspects of our reality. Thus, we know we can’t be ‘done with it’ in one go – we’ll in fact amalgamate ourselves to the physical as breath, moment by moment, walking with the necessary patience to go stopping and correcting ourselves. That is translated to simply being able to stop the mind, stop all unnecessary time-loops of repeating the same experiences over and over again, until we realize that we simply require to Stop, Self Forgive and let go of it. Sounds simple, yes, though it takes a constant application that becomes ‘who we are’ every time we stop ourselves from participating in the mind, in every moment that we do not participate in that which seems enticing and alluring to go into – that moment that we don’t ‘go there’ actually supports ourselves to ground ourselves in/as the physical, we prove to ourselves that we can actually do this, that it just takes one breath at the time and sufficient self-will to do it.

I never even thought that I would get to enjoy this process until I simply started living it. I would spend hours writing out self forgiveness because I saw it as a very effective way to go opening up points and almost ‘challenging’ me to transcend my fears of ‘oh no no don’t go in there!’ within my mind wherein I would have to kind of give myself an internal kick in the ass to write the point out. Embarrassment, shame, guilt, heaps of self judgment, self-hatred, a lot of judgments toward other people, the world – I was overwhelmed!  However, it was the most liberating point once it was ‘out’ like a physical relief from having now exposed this rotting corpse to myself, it no longer was this ‘dead talk’ inside my head lingering around, provoking me to go into certain moods or experiences that I would then dare to participate in and define as ‘who I am.’ These experiences began diminishing, simply because I could not kid myself into such thoughts after having extensively exposed them for what they are. Once the can of worms was opened, the can was empty and I filled it up with soil to grow something rather supportive for myself to live in common sense.

The specificity implied in the writing itself of Self Forgiveness has been a key point of support in order to learn how the mind works as a perfect-system for excuses and justifications to not take Self-Responsibility. Hence the only way to ‘tackle’ this problem is through walking an equally specific and perfected system of self correction, which is why Self Forgiveness is such a specific way to correct ourselves. Each word in the basic sentence as ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself…’ is an absolute statement of taking Self Responsibility for having given our lives up to a mind-driven action that was done in inconsideration of who we are as one and equal.

Throughout the process of getting to know how Self Forgiveness works, participating in the forum, reading others’ posts became a pillar and vital point of feedback. I was pretty much amazed how any single action/ event was able to be directed by using the same tools – indistinctly – and how common sense is always able to be established in any given situation, by the fact that every action is exerted through a process wherein a process of decision making is involved: to act or not act – it is self-created and as such, it can be corrected.

How come we had missed this throughout time?

No Excuses: Life Cannot be Denied

I see Self Forgiveness as giving ourselves a second chance to live – to finally create ourselves as that which we see is and will be best for all as one and equal. This sounds ‘cool’ but living the words implies a life-dedication, a commitment toward ourselves that we support ourselves with and share with others. It is a way to expand our ability to see/ realize that who we really are had been caged in our own mind-traps and we are ready to take them all down for we have been the very creators of it all.

There is no ‘mystery ’in Self Forgiveness, it’s not a self-god-given right, it is about understanding that we stop ourselves from existing within a single point of definition or idea of ourselves that limits/ defines who we are, and living it out through first removing/ detaching ourselves from such memory, idea, thought, belief, picture and standing up from having accepted and allowed ourselves to remain limited within such conception of ourselves.

It’s about getting to know ourselves, to learn ‘how’ we function and  take Self-Responsibility for it, which is realizing and understanding  how there will be no miracles happening in order for us to correct what we have accepted and allowed to exist in this world.  We have this one life, one opportunity for us to be the creators of a reality that we are willing to exist as from now on, within common sense, within the principle of what is best for all as equals. This is the single starting point for creation we have missed throughout time – it is only now that we have the opportunity to stand as the living example of what is possible for us human beings to be and become when we become the change that we want to see in this world.

Enjoy living this out for yourself.

Supportive Articles I read to walk Self Forgiveness:

And many more at: http://desteni.org/articles

Self-Forgiveness Blog


2012 R.I.P. God

To place this into context – this is the result of being back and forth writing about  God these days – more than usual -  through comments, messages, blogs.  I reply to several comments a day when I have to explain the non-existence of God over and over again wherein words tend to become automated – and I am now being asked to  ‘define ‘god’ in a short sentence’ – within my mind it’s like wtf? Why should I define something that doesn’t exist? Yet, I breathe and see that this is a ‘big concept’ that is still ruling the lives of many, many beings. Therefore – God, here we go.

I’ll share a moment I had at the farm.

Bernard asked me: So, what if there IS a God?

For a moment I froze over to this question wherein the initial reaction was that of having all my blasphemous fears rising up – what if ‘God’ was actually something that could punish me after having denied ‘him’ and talked bs about it? Yes, the religious construct was immediately faced in a split second there.  Then I realized in  common sense and replied: If there was a God it wouldn’t matter/ it would make no difference as God would then be one and equal as well.

This is to understand that we can only create something ‘more’ or ‘less’ and fear it if existing in separation from it = not considering Oneness and Equality.

In other words, the God concept can only exist in separation of ourselves as this ‘higher entity’ in our minds – in reality, all is one and equal.

If you equate ‘God’ to ‘all’ or ‘Life’ or ‘the universe’ or ‘existence’ or ‘Earth,’  then you can just call it for what it is – there’s no need to hold within our minds a concept that has its origin in a religious construct based on masters and slaves, on worshiping an idea instead of living by naming things for what they are. Instead of having to ‘believe’ in something invisible or ‘almighty’ or ‘whole and perfect’ in itself, we rather dedicate ourselves to speak words that we can relate ourselves to in this physical reality, where we can create and become a living example of what life must be in equality.

If you define ‘God’ as a creator – realize that all that is currently here is manifested by the Earth, as itself – we are the ones that are responsible for whatever happens to it as a deliberate intervention and relationships we form in it, in order to live – and also destroy/ abuse/ exploit it in the name of ‘power’ and ‘greed,’ which goes hand in hand with our monetary system. The Earth cannot abuse itself, we have stood as that point in reality, we have created and used words like ‘God’ to abdicate the responsibility for our creation, just as we use the word ‘love’ to cover up the actual suffering and pain that goes on in this world because of the reasons mentioned above.

You can get a thorough perspective and investigation on what was really going on within the ‘Godly realms of Heaven’ – how it is that people were really being ‘guided’ and given some fluffy experience that could be called ‘god’ and ‘joy’ as the entire idea of ‘God’ as a systematic energetic experience that was merely preprogrammed, while the actual physical exists in extreme pain and suffering. You can also read all about how the white-light system was dismantled and within that, how the ‘creators’ of this reality were exposed as it is all explained/ existent within the Desteni material.

All the mawkish associations like

God is Love

or

God is Joy

or

God is Freedom

or

God is Mercy

etc.…

All of that is to create connections between words that have been deliberately preprogrammed to make you get a warm/ fuzzy feeling as energy churning within you and associate it with the word ‘God,’ so that it could – at least – have some type of sensation to it, because we have definitely not been able to see any ‘god’ in this reality as it is usually conceived/ perceived as an almighty being/ higher being/ or a ball of super-powerful energy or invisible force.

There is no greater energy than the one that is existent in its totality here – any more or less conceived in that is separation existent at a mind level only.

The bucket of cold water for me to get rid of the belief of God was Desteni and the material wherein the entire enslavement of man through the White-Light Construct was explained. I mean, I used to believe in a God as well – by tradition, by comfort, by having that ‘need’ of something or someone to solve things for me, to protect me, to not feel alone, to not feel like all of this life was in vain – and this can be applied to any other relationship I formed within my reality.

I really wanted to make this blog as short as I could but… now I have to bring this up otherwise the case is not closed and you might come up with further questions about it.

The book: Life after God by Douglas Coupland– this book depicts how in a society wherein everything seems to be ‘lost’ and ‘helpless,’ we turn to God as the last resort to at least have a little faith in something. Okay, for a moment I went into the thought ‘it seems very awkward having to talk about God and my experience toward it’ just because it’s been quite some time that I stopped believing in anything like that- but that’s just a mind-limitation, I bring the point Here and share it/ communicate about it. 

The point about the book is how it ends with this passage wherein – I won’t spoil it – in essence the character is declaring requiring God to keep going, because he couldn’t continue/ keep going by himself, alone. And I resonated a lot with this at that time (some 6 years ago) because I felt as lost as all the characters of that book felt like – and I thought that the only way out of my own misery was through seeking God. And that’s how my entire ‘spirituality’ journey began which I have written about in several blogs throughout these past months and years – recent example is ‘The Feel Good Times’ – Yet my incursion in spirituality and religions was more of a brief walk  to see what would fit my idea of god – yeah, just like a custom-made god and religion, that’s what I was aiming for back then.

When I realized that the string I had attached to god and wanting to develop this ‘relationship with God’ was essentially based on saving my ass and out of enlightened self-interest, to ‘be at ease’ with myself, it became very obvious that I had resorted into the idea of God out of desperation, out of that desire to have something to ‘live for’ or something to ‘live up to’ in a way. I hadn’t realized myself as that point of my existence to live for. I didn’t accept myself, I would not consider myself as something ‘worthy of living’ at times, I would consider myself as a nuisance to the world and in my attempt to become ‘something,’ I turned to God, seeking to make myself ‘greater’ with all of these ideas of reaching enlightenment or some holistic understanding of this reality that could make me feel ‘better’ about myself – simply because I was existing as a bundle of fears, a whole fucking lot of fears.

This means that resorting to God was my way of coping with an extensive ‘fear of god’ that I went through – mostly created out of the beliefs in spirituality with being aware of the afterlife and demons and dead people being able to lurk around here on Earth everywhere and creating an intense fear of being watched the whole time. I would fear ‘god’ knowing all my secrets, I feared these ‘guides’ and beings being taking notes of everything I did, so that they could ventilate it whenever I would be in the presence of such ‘sessions’ wherein we were apparently given “support and protection from ‘the evil of this world.”

Why would ‘God’  then not just defeat such evil? Why having to go around floating with a protective mechanism to not be influenced by others? I had a great laugh when listening in these History of the Portal interviews how guides would be walking around like that when coming to Earth – it is amusing to hear these stories now, however when I was into believing in a God, I would pretty much feel like bound to this need to ‘do the right thing’ all the time, out of fear of being judged in the presence of this god or ‘guides’ that we would – apparently – be in contact with on a regular basis. I won’t go into details about it, it’s not relevant as it was all preprogrammed and part of the entire ‘specialness’ point in my religious-system based on spirituality.

So – to sum it up, I used the God idea for a while to try to see things in a positive way. When getting to Desteni and starting watching the news again, documentaries, videos that revealed the reality of this world, I definitely saw how I had simply used god/ spirituality/ positivity as the way to hide all the fears that I had toward myself, toward this reality, toward humans, toward facing myself and everything that is here basically. It was like having the NOD32 God being upgraded and feeling protected against all the viruses as fears that I would have toward myself, it was like eating a candy that will make your mouth sweet for a while and then just leaving the same bitter taste.

How can God exist in a world of abuse, poverty, starvation… I mean I feel like a robot having to explain this because it’s just plain obvious now, because I cannot conceive how something ‘magnificent’ can be believed to exist in a world with astounding separation and negligence toward LIFE.

God is just a word that represents the quick fix we have created as humanity to have someone to blame for our creation, to have something to ‘hold on to’ whenever we felt too lost to continue, to have something to aspire to get to be-with once we are dead, to deposit faith upon simply because we weren’t able to trust ourselves, we hadn’t allowed ourselves to become ‘the’ point of our existence.

That’s the process, and that’s how we walk it. I’m glad to be walking out of that as the entire idea that I have enslaved myself-to, which is my own ego as personality that has held all of these fears and limitations in place.

I named the blog R.I.P. God as the final leaving-the concept-alone for once and for all, it serves no purpose, it has no physical correlation to what is here, we simply take it as the piece of preprogrammed concept that continued the enslavement of man. We stop it, we forgive ourselves for having accepted and allowed ourselves to be dominated and bound to such superior alter-ego as our god-creation, and walk the process of self-realization of who we are as one and equal. We thus act according to the laws of the physical reality to become a self-responsible being, within the consideration of all the points that require to be corrected and directed to co-create a world that’s best for all – no need to believe in anything for that.

There is No God. There is No need to even discuss about it further – we simply focus on what is Here to establish Life in Equality.

thanks for reading -

Some blogs/ notes written about the God point in the previous days:

God – Why believing in God is Abuse

Divine Economics: Money or God?

Groups wherein evidence of how God / Religions separate this reality are shared:

Stop All Religions and Live Equal

God – and why believing in God is insane

For support on how to walk out of the God relationship into a living-reality of Self Responsibility: Desteni Forum •

coti 11090179

Cool video by Jan Erik Hansen:

Are the poor really blessed?


Hey Nostradamus! – Personality suit exposed

“Look at us. We’re all born lost, aren’t we? We’re all born separated from God – over and over life makes sure to inform us of this – and yet we’re all real: we  have names, we have lives. We mean something. We must. My heart is so cold. And I feel so lost. I shed my block of hate but what if nothing emerges to fill in the hole it left? The universe is so large, and the world is so glorious, but here I am on a sunny August morning with chilled black ink pumping through my veins, and I feel like the unholiest thing on earth.” – Douglas Coupland

This is an excerpt from Hey Nostradamus! a book by Douglas Coupland that I read some 6 years ago  while being on a ‘spiritual journey’ a mind one, not an actual trip.  I had read other books by him as well, including ‘Life after God’ of which I will probably write about some other time.

In this book he depicts an entire process of ‘struggling’ with the idea of there being some type of ‘god’ while walking a continual paradox as this reality that would indicate that there is non. However, this particular quote depicts the type of writings I would solace myself with, some type of misery that  would enhance my world view, add the necessary ‘energy kick’ to keep my personality suit that I’ve described before in the Death and Destruction entry.

These type of writings is what I filled myself up while being on my late teenage years which was ‘cool’ at the time and in accordance to my questions and general desire to ‘know’ some type of ‘truth,’ to have or gain some sort of feedback as a ‘certainty,’ a kind of knowledge and information that could give ‘meaning’ to my life. Just as Douglas explains there, I was seeking for some sort of proof that this wasn’t only a cosmic joke and that our lives would have to inevitably ‘mean’ something.

Part of walking this process is debunking the lie that we’ve lived with this entire ‘yearning for God’ experience which is actually preprogrammed as an inherent belief to never see and realize that: we’ve always been here, that we are ALL that exist and that any form of philosophical trip looking for ‘meaning’ and ‘truths’ is in separation of the most obvious facts that are here, equally visible and tangible for all: we are the ones that have set the rules of how it all functions – we are the ones that have perpetuated the disagreements that are currently leading this world to a point of self-destruction based on the inherent disregard that we’ve had toward one another, yet keeping ourselves busy seeking some form of ‘inner-peace’ and ‘enlightenment’ while depleting the world and abusing all that is here in the meantime.

Our relationship toward an elusive idea of ‘God’ became another way of ‘coping with reality’ as if the idea of some superior and powerful ‘god’ could give us some ‘extra-strength’ to face ourselves. He places it quite nicely in the following quote: ‎”I think God is how you deal with everything that’s out of your own control”. I was once a God believer and as much as I have left this part of the process ‘behind,’ it’s cool to bring it up as a point of support for anyone reading this and still going through a process of disenchantment toward the belief in something ‘superior’ or ‘divine’ as an actual entity called ‘God.’ I clearly once believed out of tradition, out of passed-on belief, out of fear of literally having to realize there is nothing or no one ‘superior here’ – yet never getting to realize who I really am as one and equal as all that exists – who would want some type of ‘god’ within that equation?

The quote I placed here describes a general ‘mindset’ that I could tag with many names like melancholy, self-pity, misery, loneliness, gloom,  sadness, depressive, shoegazer,  doomy and mostly a general sense of ‘despair’ toward the world. Lol it’s cool to debunk this because this ‘attitude’ and general energetic experience became ‘my life’ and ‘who I was’ for such a long time. Seeing life through this smokescreen where everything seemed so elusive, so vague, so ‘magnificent’ yet seeing myself as something really ‘petty’ for this world, sometimes ‘not belonging’ and some others just believing that I had been born in the ‘wrong planet.’

Here I am, six years after I read this book and having walked for some years a process of understanding my personality and how I created myself, I can see how it is within this gloomy self idea of myself and the world that I kept myself just ‘busy’ with my own mind, seeking to create more experiences out of books like these, out of my own relationships with people that could fully support this type of ‘tragic’ perspective on reality, just sitting at caffés pondering about life, chain-drinking-smoking-coffee and doing nothing else but that. 

Now I realize how all of that is an absolute ‘waste of time’ in terms of remaining only as a certain experience that becomes ‘who we are’ while limiting ourselves and our ability to actually step out of such mind-frame, which is essentially the process we’re walking here.

First of all to stop all hope and yearning/ wondering about ‘life’ and instead realizing how we can practically start actually LIVING in this world by investigating/ writing/ looking at how other beings are living, how is the system that I live in functions, how are we keeping this system running, why have I accepted and allowed myself to be consumed by my own self-created experiences instead of looking at the reality that is here, that is myself, a reality that I am a part of and that I’m disregarding while keeping myself ‘busy’ up in my mind, continuing my gloomy view toward this world as if that was the only ‘thing’ I could ‘do’ – helplessness, a general sense of ‘I’m a victim of this world’ is what I was oozing all the time. I’m glad those times are over – though the process of disengaging from the actual self-created personality is still being walked as this is HOW I have created myself – resonating with everything that could support my inability to stand up and take self responsibility – why? Because being a victim is much easier than taking the necessary steps to ‘step up’ and become the change that I was only judging and criticizing/ complaining about in this world.

We’re not LOST, we can only LOSE ourselves up there in the self-created mazes of our mind – we are here, we are breathing, we walk, we eat, we shit, we interact and all in all I keep ‘finding myself here’ therefore, such ‘lostness’ was certainly another excuse to be aloof and idle and a general ‘drama queen’ to not face my reality and instead, indulge into addictions that could support my eternal ‘yearning’ for something/ someone to change the world.

Such feeling and experience as feeling like an outcast, a sense of being kicked out of paradise, looking for ‘god’ all the time is only the belief of such separation from ‘god/ source’ which has gotten us to neglect the life that we are and have been all the time, Here  – get the interviews on the Atlanteans to understand how and why this point happened. It’s all been an actual disregard of ourselves – us missing ourselves as ‘the point’ of our existence. We only can redeem ourselves to be actually able to stand here in Self Honesty as one and equal to this world by walking a process of Self For.giveness: I give myself back to myself to realize that the only thing I’ve missed is ‘myself’ as life  – hence I walk a process to learn how to LIVE in equality as everything/ everyone that is equally here.

Through this process of Self Honesty, I’ve learned how to trust myself, to not only seek to ‘stand in the back’ within this form of ‘inferiority’ and ‘pettiness’ as part of a self experience, wanting others do everything for me, to have someone ‘stepping up’ and keeping myself in a comfortable zone wherein I cannot make any mistakes or get ‘harmed’ by others – which was quite the ultimate defense mechanism within me to not face myself. My personality was then able to ‘fit’ into the world as a ‘sensitive person’ that could then be justified for being ‘down’ and then seeking something/ someone outside of myself to ‘get up’ and then down again in a never ending rollercoaster of energetic thrills. I remember how a friend of mine would say how he’d get to ‘enjoy’ being immersed in absolute self-misery and depression – I couldn’t fathom that and I judged him in that moment without realizing I was doing exactly the same thing within myself.

So – topics on alienation, loneliness, black comedy, drama, spirituality, angst, sorrow, acceptance, tragedy, the absurd and complex have been part of the ‘key words’ that I’d sought for and that I just took from the back cover of this book – lol.

What’s great about this is that once that the ‘pattern’ and personality is in my face, I cannot fool myself in pretending that I have not ‘become’ this by mere act of empathy. It’s called personality designs and I’m here to stop it, because it’s only a bloody program, because I see how even if in my mind there is still this desire to ‘keep it in place,’ it’s the ultimate statement of separation from the physical reality that is just HERE: no experience attached!

Have a look at a skinny, leafless tree with several branches twisted up high in a forest-like scenario at dusk – that I would immediately associate with this entire self-experience which indicates to what level I have brainwashed myself to add an entire experience to the sole expression of a single tree in a certain environment. Fascinating.

I am here to stop that, to see reality for what it is, to see and realize how I do not require to add any extra-toppings to reality with emotions and feelings that I had deemed as ‘indications’ of ‘being alive’ – that was probably one of the most impressive revelations in my life, whereas I had deem that the more I ‘felt’ = the more alive I was. What a lie – but we are fortunately well prepared now to face these buckets of cold water and support ourselves to actually LIVE.

So, no more gloomy self experiences for me – all of this is coming out quite nicely so I suggest that you, reader of this blog, take on this exercise for yourself:  have a look at the points that you’ve identified yourself with in your reality and see how they have defined ‘who you are’ in one way or another. To me this is kind of ‘bringing up the past’ but unless I stop myself from participating in all types of emotions and feelings, I will continue existing as that past – hence it is cool to lay it out for oneself to see what I have accepted and allowed myself to identify ourselves with as the preprogrammed personality design and stop participating in it here, for once and for all.

Now, this is not in any way a ‘bashing’ toward Coupland, he’s written out cool books that I see were ‘bridges’ for me to walk upon to then get to the actual swallowing point of realizing: there is no God, there is no such thing as ‘ultimate truth’ – you are it, you are here, you take responsibility and create a world that’s best for all – simplicity at its finest – but here I leave some cool quotes by Mr. Coupland.

Enjoy and thanks for reading

‎”I wondered why it is that going to heaven is the only goal of religion, because it’s such a selfish thing”

‎”To acknowledge God is to fully accept the sorrow of the human condition”

“A world of continuous miracles would be a cartoon, not a world”

‎”I think God is how you deal with everything that’s out of your own control”

‎”Dear God,
I’m going to stop believing in you unless you can tell me what possible good could have come from the bloodshed. I can’t see any meaning or evidence of divine logic”

 

Assist and support yourself to walk out of the personality suits we’ve become as part of this game or roles we’ve played in this world – let’s walk a process of actual LIVING and not only feeling and believing in something/someone that we are Not.

desteni.org

 

fantastic

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Coupland, Douglas. Hey Nostradamus!. 1st ed. New York: Bloomsbury , 2003. 146. Print.


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