Category Archives: Desteni I Process

538. Living Authenticity

 

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

What does it really mean to be authentic in this world? And how have we shaped ourselves according to a desire to be authentic yet without having self as the starting point? Upon focusing and reflecting on this word today, I realized how much of the association to ‘authenticity’ in relation to a set of aspects or traits that are very much – or most of the times – personality-based, meaning, how I initially spotted it within the attributes I saw in another that I created a sense of ‘attraction’ for was related to a persona, the portrayal of themselves with particular set of preferences, perspectives and expressions that were not really of ‘substance’ as I call them when it comes to the person being expressing who they really are as life or being supportive in their expression – it was mostly a perception of authenticity being expressed through being rebellious, polemic, controversial, against-the-grain in fact, very much ‘on your face’ and standing up for something that the thinks is right for him. And sure that’s a way to ‘be authentic’ in consciousness-speak, but here I am definitely not looking at doing that for myself, dare I say ‘again’ and I’ll explain why.

How I had ‘strived’ to live authenticity was mostly through creating a persona/living a set of personalities where I could stand in an eccentric way (out of the norm, out of the circle) and create myself as a statement of ‘I don’t buy into any of that, I am the opposite of what everyone wants to be’ type of ideal, and surely this can be something very common in our teenage years or young adulthood that eventually becomes a self-definition for the rest of our lives if we don’t dare to question and re-create ourselves, very much like this person I took as an example above, which is ok for him and his process but not for myself, my life and process context.

So, what would have happened if I had not started this process from consciousness to self-awareness as life is that I would have most likely continued to be a person that stands very much in the definition of ‘misfit’ or ‘outcast’ or ‘eccentric persona’ that tries to be unique, special, ‘authentic’ as a portrayal of personalities, a palette of expressions used ‘towards others’ to create a certain impact/make a statement about ‘who I am’ as all the strengths and potencies that I ‘wanted’ to have and be at the eyes of others, but certainly most likely hiding quite a lot of insecurities, fears and inferiority behind all of that façade.

Throughout the years I’ve shared the detail of walking the writings, the self-forgiveness process on seeing, understanding and so correcting myself from feeding this ‘hard veneer’ I placed upon myself in order to really find out who I am behind the masks essentially. And this is exactly a first step to look at within the word ‘Authentic’ and self-creation.

Initially when I started removing ‘the masks’, what was left was this ‘me’ that was very much still to be re-sculpted, re-programmed so to speak because all I had ever known is how to be a character ‘for others’ and not really focus on asking myself: Who do I want to be? What do I want to create? Who am I as the words that I speak and live? Who am I as my expression? What do I want to create and live not only for myself but also for others in my world? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses to work on and strengthen? What are some of the ‘unique skills’ I can develop/would like to focus on developing and so living/expressing throughout my life? What would I like to contribute to this world to create what’s best for all?

Therefore, authenticity became linked to ‘authority’ and ‘authorship’, which is something that I completely had overlooked in my plight to become this compendium of personalities and ways to ‘cope’ with the world and portray myself as being something I would define as ‘strong,’ but it was all going to be very much just an imitation of other people I admired and wanted to ‘be like’ in order to be as special or popular as I considered them to be.

Throughout this process with Desteni, we learn to see words beyond our predefined ways, beyond the surface scope and learn to open up a whole new way of looking at them, and this is through adding the ingredients of self-honesty and the ability to change who we are, being able to see who and what we are in the context of taking responsibility for ourselves, our creation, our words, our actions, who we want to be as a contributor to life being birthed again in this world. And that’s definitely something that opens up the real depth there is to authenticity.

Who and what have I become as authenticity through this process of several years of learning to understand the ‘who I had become’ and redesigning myself step by step in every single aspect where I saw my ‘character weaknesses,’ integrating a correction that I realize represents me as my living potential led me to where I am now, which is being able to look back and see how this authority and authorship as the creator of my life is something I’m very much ‘settled in’ with, meaning, it is a platform from which I am already ‘operating’ from, just had not realized it as such if I had not written it out and focused on this word today.

Yet, as with any living word, it is not something that is just ‘done’ for myself, it is – as with every word – a platform from which I can move to express, grow, expand as a person within the context of becoming a contributor to life itself – and no longer just a compendium of expressions ‘for others’ to appreciate, value or see as ‘unique’ which is one of the ways in which a personality can be confused with what I’d like to share as the real uniqueness we all have here.

How about considering authenticity as our unique position and ability to partake in the process of co-creation, where we start seeing each other as equals with equal potential to be developed and sculpted for and by each one of us in the name of what is best for all?

Many times we get lost in the ‘matrix of personalities’ where we are kind of always striving to be unique, to be perfect, to be successful, to be special as a personality ‘for the world out there’ instead of rather first of all considering who do we want to be and live for and as ourselves, what do I want to cultivate, grow and reap as my creation for myself and so for everyone else in this reality? In other words: what can I be and contribute with as my livelihood, my unique expression, my skills and live them in full responsibility and awareness of shaping me and what I do in the name of what’s best for all – where each one of us can in fact contribute unique aspects that makes us ‘who we are’ as individuals, yet equal in the context of that life-essence that we can learn to honor and live as our expression, in our very own day to day living.

This is where the context of stopping comparison also comes in, where in my experience, many times I’ve fallen into the trap of comparing my abilities, skills, expressions, behaviors, choices and outcomes in life to that of others; instead of reminding myself that each one of us as individuals are unique expressions, with a unique context that cannot be ‘repeated to the T’’ by any other individual – no one else has had our exact same life position and experience, in the same location/context, with the same challenges, with our same bodies and exact same patterns learned and copied from our very own parents – etc. So, the sheer notion of comparison with this becomes futile, it’s like trying to compare one tree to another tree – yes both are trees but they will always be different and there’s no point in comparing in the sense of who’s better or worse or more special etc. That’s all consciousness-speak which we have to start stopping within ourselves.

Stopping this consciousness-speak then leads one to tap into the essence of who can we be, what can we make of ourselves as an individual, what words do I want to live not only for myself and my life, but as an equal contributor to the co-creation of this reality?

I recently suggested someone to do this for themselves as well considering how much we focus only on ‘stopping patterns’ and all the rest of destructive, self-sabotaging or self-abusive behaviors and contexts, leading oneself to temporarily lose footing within who we really are and only see all the negative aspects, getting obfuscated by the reality of self one can initially see in this process, all the ‘bad’ and the ‘negative’ which needs to be at the same time worked in an equal process and equilibrium with self-creation and having a starting point of who do we want to be and create ourselves as in this lifetime, this life-opportunity we have here on Earth if we dare and commit to step into it with our full life force and expression.

Therefore for me to be authentic or live authenticity is to be and live my unique set of skills, abilities, what I’ve learned to practice and develop over time which in my very own life experience has led me to be a person that can assist others in their own birthing process based on doing that in my own experience for almost a decade now and realizing that there is so much more that each one can be if we can step out of our own limitations first of all, out of our fears, out of our comparisons or personality ideals and place our focus and attention in our living potential, who we really want to live and be for the rest of our lives, in the context of what’s best for all life, considering self-responsibility within self-creation. This changes everything and it’s of course something that not only benefits us individually, but collectively because again if we are best for oneself = we become best for all in whichever we decide to be and create.

Here I am realizing how I had minimized such potential of this word by linking it to a set of personalities and expressions I defined as ‘interesting’ for example and seeing myself as ‘desiring that’ or ‘lacking that’ which is definitely not the case now that I’m opening this word in a substantial-context in living terms – it changes everything.

And this is the kind of perspective I’d like more of us to really integrate and acknowledge in our lives, to see where and how we diminish, in-fear-iorize or separate ourselves from a word through consciousness-speak like ‘attraction’ or ‘liking’ or ‘being drawn to’ something or someone based on an experience, instead of going directly into naming the experience, giving it a word and seeing first of all who are we already as this word, how are we living it and if we are living it, is it best for all? Is it considering using that ability and potential to support ourselves in our lives and others? Is it lived self-honestly? Is it within the context of life responsibility?

In this we can get to recognize how unique we already are and how much we are squandering in an attempt to fulfill ourselves through personalities or desiring relationships with others and the rest of it, all of it an outflow of separation from our very own living words and potential.

This kind of exercise I just shared here truly sets our record straight into realizing our potential and clearing one’s head from ‘ideals’ and ‘perceptions’ of what we’ve given value and meaning to- which is then again something to work through, self-forgive and correct within ourselves.

This is only a ‘self-assessment’ though because every aspect at the same time has been a process walked, every fear, inferiority, comparison, jealousy, personality development that I had taken on over the years and that I will continue to fine tune whenever it emerges again in me. So this is more like the ‘fruit’ that comes from a process of self-commitment to live and realize this for myself and this is something I see can make us better living parts and co-creators in this world, that can in turn change the nature of the world system and our interrelationships if we live this authenticity out of our personal-interests as consciousness-speak and into living-substance, into living potential.

Thanks for reading

 

Humble Me

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


520. Self-Accountability and Tough Love

Or understanding and realizing the necessary nature of applying ‘tough love’ in order to honor our own lives and that of others in the name of what’s best for all.

Many times while being in relationships we lose track of our personal self-agreement and where we stand in personal principles and self-support because of perceiving that a relationship is an entity created between ‘two individuals’ – and yes in normal relationships this is how it goes where a lot of compromise and fears as well as positive experiences can be defined through the sum of two individuals existing ‘for each other’ and depending ‘on each other’ completely at an emotional or feeling level – which means at a mind level. However within this process from consciousness to self-awareness the notion of ‘relationships’ is redefined as the creation of an agreement where one or more people agree to support themselves to be the best version of themselves and do whatever is necessary to align themselves to the principles of life, of equality and oneness, of self-honesty and self-support.

Therefore it is about ‘who we are as individuals’ in a relationship where it doesn’t matter if one in the relationship isn’t aware of this process from consciousness to awareness, one can establish a self-agreement with ourselves in honoring these principles and ensuring that we work with our self-change and self-responsibility, honoring one’s life first and foremost.

This means that one’s personal point of focus should not be on what the other person does or doesn’t do to support themselves but instead, what defines us as individuals in the relationship is where we stand all the way in it, who we are in our lives, our principles,  how we work through our own patterns, how we apply our points of change, how we confront situations of conflict, how we are willing to let go of a righteousness and ego in order to recognize and so change one’s own faults and problems. And yes, at the same time decide for ourselves if one is willing to and is able to stand in a relationship where one knows the other person is not supporting themselves or standing in a principle of self-support at the very least – that decision and choice becomes part of our self-honesty as in seeing what we accept and allow ourselves to live with or not.

Here focusing on myself within the creation of a relationship, I found this point of personal accountability or ‘self-accountability’ to be quite supportive as in ‘keeping track’ of myself, who we are, what I’ve done or haven’t done in my self-relationship of self-support.  

In past relationships I would condition ‘me changing’ according to ‘others changing too’ or others showing or demonstrating that they were also doing their part, which becomes the perfect recipe for spite and developing an extremely conditional nature in our minds where the focus is on ‘others’ and not on oneself at all. Therefore this time I decided to not condition myself according to ‘another one’ and instead stick to my self-agreement where I can be able to recognize where I am reacting, where I am not defining me and my change in relation to ‘the relationship with another’ only or re-enacting past relationship patterns; and in general where I am conditioning my own point of change in relation to others changing as well or others looking into ‘their own problems or faults’ too, which is also a covert point of blame and ‘focusing on another’ only instead of entirely focusing on oneself.

Here I share this as a cautionary tale so that one takes into consideration not creating this kind of spite and expectations within a relationship where if one is holding the other accountable first and focusing on what another does or doesn’t do to then decide to change or not change,  the whole point of self-accountability and self-responsibility becomes null within oneself, because then we turn our focus and attention into blaming others for not doing their part, for not changing, for not living up to our expectations, and that’s definitely a point of self-dishonesty for the person that is keeping the finger pointed ‘at others’ only, but is not focusing or even willing to look back to self first.

What I’ve learned to do is to focus on myself entirely – and no, this is not ‘selfishness’ as it might be perceived, but a basic aspect of self-responsibility and accountability within a self-agreement within which I decided to step into the creation of a relationship with another. Therefore this allowed me to work every time on letting go of my expectations of what I wanted the other person to do or be for myself – yet also speaking up whenever something was very obvious to be opened up for their own awareness and self-work. At the same time, I had to also be considerate of another’s life, mind, characters and ‘ways of being’ that I learned to adjust in quite an effective manner – though also of course being ready and willing to draw a line whenever something is out of the agreed best for all and self-supportive habits and ways in our shared living.

This latter point of ‘drawing a line’ whenever one sees that a basic principle of committing to self-support in a relationship that is established at the beginning of a relationship is not being followed through, is what might be defined as ‘tough love’ where one is willing to be first of all accountable to oneself and so another in the sense that: in self-honesty and within the consideration of what’s best for all, allowing the other person to face for example the breakup of a relationship as the best way for them to realize what each one is doing to themselves and how not following through a self-agreement leads to consequences or results that are compromising for all individuals involved.

This outcome of applying ‘tough love’ is a necessity and an aspect of establishing an agreement – either with another or alone within oneself as self-agreement – where if the basic points of self-responsibility, self-honesty and self-support are not being lived in thought, word and deed and is causing consequences for each other’s lives, then one has to honor the starting point of the relationship redefined as an ‘agreement’ between two or more – and so all parts can agree how it is best to let go of the relationship in order to assist each other to face the points, the aspects where we didn’t stand up in it all.

It’s just like any contract or creation of a society as well or ‘team’ that exist to create, build, direct, expand, work on something – and if the basic functionality of this is not existent then it simply makes sense to dissolve the union and work on an individual basis to strengthen and change the points that led to the failure or inconsistency in the joint process.

This might seem like a harsh move or ‘insensible’ because of not considering people’s feelings but that’s exactly what we have to stop blinding ourselves with if we are to truly honor our lives. It might also sound like not being considerate, not being patient or not being lenient enough– but that’s also where self-accountability is a great way to measure ‘who we’ve been’ within the whole relationship or point of creation in our lives.

For example in my case realizing that I have in fact developed patience, consideration, flexibility, unconditional support, doing to another what I would like another to be an do for themselves, working to stop my own expectations, stopping being so exigent, being less controlling (yep still working on that one!) and be able to reference all of it with another who also in self-honesty would be able to recognize what has been done or hasn’t been done by each one in the relationship.

Therefore what I’ve realized is that what might be initially perceived as ‘tough love’ is from my perspective a very necessary measure to apply to allow another person to understand the nature of self-creation, to understand the consequences of not living up to one’s utmost potential and that includes of course myself first of all, where I can also see and become aware of my own points of compromise, my choices, my decisions, assessing ‘where I am’ and ‘where I am going next’ which yes would be directed to a supportive outcome and potential within a relationship. However this is precisely what I have to leave clear for myself and so share here as a general reminder for anyone reading: there is a vast and visible difference between seeing a ‘potential’ in a relationship and in one another and living such potential or actively working to become that potential and having physical reality proof of that in thought, word and deed as the nature of who we are at all times.

This is how in personal accountability, we can establish our own clarity to see who we are, what we have done or haven’t done, who we’ve been within an entire point of self-creation and hold ourselves accountable for it. This ability to ‘see ourselves’ and recognize our pros and cons to self-creation and be determined to acknowledge them is the essence of truly loving ourselves, caring for ourselves and so another – so that we can acknowledge it, face it, understand it and commit ourselves to work on it. This is the essence of this process and the essence of living in self-agreement within a relationship.

Based on these principles, whenever we see that reality is not ‘adding up’ to the self-agreements established at the beginning of a relationship, where the relationship itself can become a comfort zone for both individuals to not genuinely change and step out of the recurring patterns of self-diminishment in our minds and lives, then it is necessary to end such relationship in order to honor our lives, our individual processes and potentials, to be of more ‘good than harm’ in having to face ourselves individually rather than together which is an outcome that varies from context to context and all based on each one’s decision – and I’m here sharing it to have the courage to do so whenever it is needed and consequences are knocking at the door.

What is the benefit? What does one ‘gain’ or ‘gifts’ oneself from holding oneself accountable and so another in that agreement or ‘redefined relationship’? The gift of responsibility, of acknowledging our creation, of owning our creation, of developing integrity, self-respect, honoring each other’s lives even if that means having to separate to precisely understand the consequences we create for oneself and another if we don’t stand by our self-commitment to change.

This becomes a living statement, making it clear to one another that what’s best for all is to continue working on such self-agreement as self-support yet no longer within a relationship.

This is where one has to step beyond the self-interest of ‘keeping a relationship’ where compromise exists and where we might ‘hold it all up’ based on fears of letting go or settling to a point of ‘least effort’ in oneself in order to truly stand in that absolute self-agreement within oneself and so in relationship to others.

This is how then within Self-Accountability – which implies being able to take responsibility for one’s life, in self-honesty from beginning to end of our lives – one has to make decisions, to take charge of one’s ‘destiny’ and not leave it to the hands of hope or fate or even ‘potential change’, but directly act and do what’s needed to truly own our creation, to understand the consequences we are creating for ourselves and others in our lifetime and be able to stand in a position where it’s only ourselves, individually, that can decide if we fall or if we stand up – but not any longer ‘trapping’ oneself and others into consequential outcomes, such as it happens in any relationship or joint project, work situation or anything else where instead, each individual can assess their situation and therefore understand when it is best to ‘go back to the drawing board’ in order to be most effective in working, living, sharing oneself with another and standing in that self-commitment to be the best version of ourselves and so to each other in this lifetime.  

Here it is also where one’s personal self-interest is overridden to living principles, where a relationship or partnership, friendship, any ‘joint effort’ with others that is not resulting in a best for all outcome can be assessed and either worked on individually or cease to exist as such if the proof in physical reality is showing that it is not leading to a visible and tangible point of change in who we are in thought, word and deed.

Ultimately how I see it is that each one of us will have to walk through ‘tests’ of who we are in our lives: are we life or are we in the mind? Do we decide to settle in for a point of compromise and self-limitation and eventual destructive consequences or do we decide to stand in self-honesty even if it means having to ‘give up’ something that we find very comfortable and supportive in ‘some’ aspects  of our lives? That’s what I defined as the eye of the needle in my case, that one ‘point’ that we have defined as our weakness, our ‘tough points’ to walk through where we face a seemingly difficult choice: our mind or life, our personal interest or what is best for all?

What I’ve found is that even if it means having to cause some perceived ‘undesirable outcomes’ for my self-interest, what prevails in me and what I decide to always stand for is life, and life takes no ‘middle ways,’ because I know for myself how ‘full-fledged’ one has to be in terms of taking life seriously and living as such in thought, word and deed. Not about knowledge and information here or ‘pledging alliance to life’ as an ideological orientation – that’s what the world is filled with and shows no change at all. Nope.

This is about demonstrating with our whole being where we decide to stand in our lives, who we decide to be in every moment of our lives and yes, I know it sounds very challenging or even absolutist, but it is only common sensical to set the bar so ‘high’ for oneself considering how long we’ve been living in personal recycling processes of doing the least effort, repeating the same mistakes, leading ourselves to a path of self-destruction, of irresponsibility, dishonor and plain inconsideration towards our very own life.

I have expressed many times in my life how I want to change the world, how I cannot accept the ways in which we’ve existed in this world because it’s quite evident where we’ve gotten ourselves to in such repetitive patterns, habits and ‘ways’ of our human nature. Therefore life itself embedded in ourselves and our very creations leads us to find ‘who we truly are’ in our choices, in our decisions, in our stance – and I am quite committed to continue being accountable to myself because at the end of the day, it’s not about ‘fulfilling my mind’s desires’, it’s about the person I can live with for the rest of my life, the person that I can fully stand with every single breath of the way and that’s precisely the one person I can only ever truly change and take responsibility for: myself.

This is the marvel as well of this process where even if we would like to assist others, to give an ‘opportunity’ of self-change for another, to provide the necessary tools and environment to ‘give themselves a chance,’ it can only ever be supportive if the person decides to do all of this entirely for themselves as well and take it seriously all the way. Otherwise it won’t stand and one will be left as the ‘person that tried to save another that wasn’t willing to do it for themselves.’ I’ve definitely have had enough of this pattern so: till here no further.

Some ‘tough love’ is necessary for me to integrate in my ways of supporting others, not only in relationships as ‘partnerships’ or ‘agreements’ as defined within this process, but with every person that I am in contact with through familial bonds, friendships and relationships of self-support within this process as well. That’s the best I can do to honor myself, what I’ve figured out I am able to do and stand as for and as myself which means: if I can, others can do it too.

Thanks for reading.

Lastly a great quote from an audio I’ll cite here:

 

“…so many of us face in so many different dimensions of (being) afraid of speaking up, afraid of saying what we see, afraid of really being direct and sometimes knowing you have to be hard and intense and show some tough love but not be afraid to lose the person. Because I think, actually you know what happens if you don’t do that? You do actually lose the person, and you lose yourself because you’re losing them to the mind and you’re losing a part of yourself because you’re not being honest.” Sunette,  Compromising for Love (Part 2) – Relationship Success Support

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


516. What Will Others Say?

Or debunking our own ‘after thoughts’ that we believe others hold against us and discovering, it’s all created by me.

I’ll start by sharing that I regularly write notes about things that come up within me during the day (written on the back of sales-tickets, to use that whole whiteness of paper!) and place some keywords on how I experienced myself in situation, in my interactions with people, any memories or patterns to open up, dreams, fears… and that’s how I get to have something to say and write about, which is part of the joy of getting to know oneself, when looking deeply, there’s a ton to open up and create a solution for and this point of ‘what will others say’ has been there for more than a week and I have kind of deliberately ‘skipped it’ over, lol procrastinating my own benefit, so here it goes for once and for all.

This rather common after-thought of ‘what will others say’ I’ve found to be very common in most of us human beings in terms of how we are individuals that constantly see ourselves through ‘the eyes of others’ which means: we constantly think that everything that we do is always going to be scrutinized and judged by others and usually not in the most beneficial or ‘flattering’ ways. This is something that I got to look at through listening to some parts of a ‘hangout’ between 4 young guys or teens in the Conscious Consumer Network discussing stuff about their lives, their points of view at their age and the problems that mostly press on them and a recurrent one seemed to be how other peers might judge them and how adults can also look down upon them, which also goes in the way of feeling ‘out of place’ or feeling scrutinized by others.

It got me looking into how I felt at that age in my teens or even pre-teens when I wanted to already be an adult all the time and get to do the things that ‘grownups do’ and feeling outside of the box with my own peers and just uncomfortable within my own skin, not fitting in and wanting to be alone but at the same time craving for social interaction. And a lot of the limitations as to why we many times limit ourselves in the things that we do or don’t do are based on the sneaky thinking related to ‘what will others say or think?’

This is something that until this day I can struggle with, especially when it comes to acknowledging a situation in my life where I am fearing to be called out for ‘failing’ at something or not fulfilling what I believe others’ ‘expectations’ are towards me, believing that people will diminish ‘who I am’ if I explain why I decided not to follow through with a particular life-project that I had planned for myself initially – or when I see myself not having the ‘regular profession’ that you can actually get a ‘title’ from a ‘renowned’ institution validating the very activity I am dedicating my life to – or when I can see at my past of relationships with people that didn’t end up ‘so well’ or when I’ve dared to not follow some ‘traditions’ or when I dared to follow some but not ‘culminate’ them as I believe others expected me to…. And the list could go on and in fact I will review all of this for myself because all of this that I am naming means that I am defining as ‘who I am’ and as something that I believe others are in fact ‘holding against me’ to invalidate me, to inferiorize me, to ‘not be taken seriously,’ to be diminished as a ‘dreamer that wants to change the world’ or to be defined as a ‘quitter’ or someone that has not yet ‘accomplished’ something ‘of value’ in system standards or someone that hasn’t made the brightest choices in life… and the list might go on as well.

In the past two weeks I’ve had to confront myself with my creation, my reality, the results of my starting point and choices in a point of self-creation that led me to look at myself in the mirror, in self-honesty and realize that upon having written about most of the things I was deciding and going through, I was mostly willing to walk through the process of making a somewhat tough decision in my life, yet at the same time discovering that I thought of how easy it would actually be if I didn’t have to confront it with anyone else in my life – not the society and community I live in including my family, my colleagues and friends and the rest of the people who I think are ‘out to find a flaw in me’ to then diminish myself to a point of ‘failure.’ In essence, a lot of what was bothering me was in fact the notion of ‘what will others say or think about me’ my decisions, my reality.

However as much as people can actually talk and have a say on everything – as we all do at any given time about anything we decide to create a judgment or opinion about – I realized that all of this that I was holding inside me was in fact myself, my own judgments, ideas, beliefs, perceptions, being my own worst judge, myself caring about ‘an image’ or a certain ‘ego-status’ that I have kept as an ideal of ‘being flawless.’

As I write this what comes up is an explanation of how early on this boils down to in my life, where the actual origin of this is yes, having been the ‘perfect student’ with ‘clean A’s’ all the way from the moment I stepped into a school and having people, my peers that were also 7 or 8 year olds coming at me and telling me how much they were going to ‘beat me’ next time at something, and how they would get on top of my position and I would fail and they would laugh at my misery – etc. Yes, of course not a nice thing to go through considering I had or have been very gullible about the human condition and could not understand how someone could be that ‘mean’ to me – and that caused quite a lot of commotion and uncertainty in myself but didn’t stop me from continuing doing my best and thanks to my mother from whom I learned  – and still do – to focus on myself, to do it for myself, to never mind what others think or say and that their words represented them, defined them, not me.

That was supportive at the time and it did help a lot to go through every day at school where I would at times be subject of ‘whole-class’ discrimination where it was as if everyone just decided to ‘turn against me’ in a way to ostracize me. It felt horrible, I would arrive home very sad and crying out because of it and I didn’t want to go to school any longer due to that, but I did anyways – unfortunately just like many, many kids nowadays that get bullied at school and go through worse situations than I did – and having this coming from even those girls that I deemed as ‘my friends’ was my first taste of betrayal, but also of seeing how much ‘what others say or do towards me’ could affect me.

Over the year growing up I learned to create a hard veneer towards all of that kind of criticism, which also led me to become a ‘tough head’ at times, antagonistic, be defensive, be outspoken and a bit ‘over the top’ in certain aspects which at the same time I don’t regret at all because at the time, it did help me walk through the rest of school years not trying to ‘find a spot’ any longer but rather building my own space and getting along with  anyone that I could, which is something I am glad I did. I wasn’t deliberately becoming ‘apart’ from others as a form of rejection to others or spiting them, but didn’t attempt to ‘fit in’ any longer, while also learning to talk to and relate to most people in my class, which is cool to do and this I’d recommend anyone around that age to do: be yourself, create your own spot, get along with everyone, treat everyone as equals and that’s what you’ll get back as well.

Back to the point of ‘What will others say’ and how it plays out into my current life situation is where I am the one that has kept that same belief within me that ‘others are out to get me’ or ‘watch me fall’ and that I have to keep a certain façade of ‘all is well’ and ‘doing great’ all the time so as to not give any ‘entry’ to a ‘flaw’ in me that could unleash criticism, judgment, opinions coming from others that might be just waiting to ‘find fault’ on me.

Now this is all that I have in fact created in my own mind, it is what I have accepted and allowed to give power away to as ‘what others will think of me’ and in fact it has been a constant point these days when having to confront people in my family, my community about the changes in my life and I could see that as much as I have done a pretty good job at presenting myself in a cool, calm and collected manner and as much as this is in fact an expression that seems comfortable in the moment – there are still discomforts in the background based on this notion of ‘how others might be thinking, judging, conversing’ about my life situation and how others will be opinionated about my choices and decisions.

One thing that has worked for me and that I have reminded myself about is to realize ‘I am the one living my life, my creation, my outcome and my choices, not anyone else’ which means if anyone has an opinion, belief, idea, perception, judgment about me, it is still their perception, their point of view or judgment that defines them and how they use their mind to assess other people’s life situation, but it certainly doesn’t define me.

Now this of course doesn’t mean that I don’t hear anyone else’s perspective on my situation, I do, do I am aware of how I also assess such feedback.  I am fortunate enough to have people in my life that I know I can count on to be simply there as a reminder of my own self-honesty – which is frankly the most valuable thing to do in times where we might be losing our footing in certain situations. And these are the people I can trust on getting feedback on so that I can at the same time check with myself in my own self-trust what I can look at, what can I work on within myself, what can I focus on opening up and creating a solution for the situation I am in, what kind of ways or paths can I create to step on my way through this challenging situation I am in. Therefore this becomes a constructive form of feedback that I can not only blindly take in, but assess within my own self trust, within my own self-honesty and then take it or leave it, but it’s always ‘on me’ and about me supporting myself, me being able to ‘live’ with myself, my choices, my decisions, in my life.

I definitely would like all of our relationships to be that way and this I certainly commit myself to do as well with people that I at the same time, have the fortune to be in a position of assisting and supporting in their own lives, their own process. Supporting, meaning: being there as a reminder of one’s self-honesty, without judgment, without expectations, without prejudices, but in humbleness and understanding, being ‘there’ for another while they find their own way through as well.

This is how I realize that all of the rest of judgments, ideas, prejudices I believe others would have to say about me as all the people that come up in my mind when considering having to ‘explain’ myself and my life, my choices, my decisions are nothing else but my own expectations built through memories, past situations where I would become ‘paralyzed’ with fearing others ‘coming at me’ to point out all the potential ways in which they could watch me fall and enjoy the show… yep, it is quite a problem that this can be happening between kids at such an early age and yes, if one doesn’t have proper support it can reverberate throughout one’s entire lifetime.

Here then I opened up and discovered how this notion of having to confront myself ‘at the eyes of others’ resonates with that early memory at school I described earlier and how the same conditioning of fearing that ‘others rejoice at seeing me fail’ is still keeping me bound to not stand fully clear in my current reality, because of perceiving that ‘others’ words, expectations, judgments, ideas’ about myself can actually have an impact on me, my life and who I am – but! Guess what? They don’t!

I have to remind myself that this that I am experiencing currently as this uncertainty of confronting others in my life and having to ‘explain’ myself as who I currently am in my life and my decisions is something I can actually self-forgive and let go of, because I am the one that is making and living that decision, not anyone else – and that’s how no one really has the actual position of ‘being me’ to have an actual say on who I am, what I do, the choices I make and why I make them.  Therefore any thought that comes up in me, about ‘others’ judging me, rejoicing at the notion of me ‘failing’ at something – I have to remind myself that it’s based on past memories and in no way defines ‘me’ currently.

In this I also remind myself that I can only ever be my own worst judge and that I can only be the one that accepts and allows any form of judgment to ‘affect me’ – it’s all on me, and that’s how I see that whenever I am ‘fearing’ what ‘others have to say’ about myself, my life, my choices, my decision, my ways, my principles = it doesn’t define me, but it will if I give my power away to it.

And as an extra point that I’ve proven as well is that, in our minds we tend to completely blow things out of proportion – so even in situations that we might be fearing to confront or perceive as potentially uncomfortable while participating in this backchat about ‘what others have to say’ about me, I’ve proven that most of it I completely blew out of proportion and made it a lot worse than what it actually was, and that I ended up becoming more of a nervous wreck based on my own imaginations and projections than when facing the ‘real deal’ and finding out ‘wow, it wasn’t as bad as I thought’ – this I consider is also one of those very common patterns that we can all remind ourselves about and stop torturing ourselves with it.

So! I’ll stop my own mind in relation to this and I have to say, I’ve definitely been much better at this all that I’ve described today through walking this process from consciousness to self-awareness as life, but not to a complete extent yet which is why it’s awesome to face things in my life and find out ‘hey! I still give too much value to what others might be thinking about me, gotta change that!’ and come here and lay it out for myself so that I cannot run away from my own self-honesty any longer, lol, which is actually another last minute reminder of how contradictory is that we put off or procrastinate to work on the very points that could ease our lives and make ourselves ‘know where we stand’ within ourselves again – it’s all about the power of writing and self-honest personal ‘debunkings’ that can clear the space and make us enjoy discovering ourselves as well.

So, enjoy doing yours and thanks for reading

And! Please gift yourself with this awesome recording to ‘find your way through’ even in the apparently worst-case scenario you might be at in your life, fresh from today:

Everywhere but Within – Demons in the Afterlife – Part 75

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE

 


515. Remembering The Process

Or understanding the dedication of self-change and actively working on creating and living to our utmost potential

Many times we want to create an experience of self-acceptance, self-trust, self-confidence, having a sense of security, being fearless and being stable enough to overcome the ‘throws of life’ but, those positive thoughts or temporary experiences won’t last, because what’s needed is to walk a comprehensive process to understand how we became all of those limitations and through understanding and seeing each of those ‘wirings’ in our programming, we can then reverse engineer ourselves to create, be and do that which we realize and see is more supportive for ourselves, not as a ‘positive reaction’ to all the ‘negative’ in us, but as a  more in depth step by step process of self-creation in self-awareness, through living our decisions to change, through applying the commitments of what we decide to do next once that we’ve understood that for example, an experience of inferiority exists because of a judgment we have imposed onto others as ‘superior to us’ which makes of that inferiority a self-created experience that one needs to stop feeding and stand up from in equality, not ‘superior or better than’- and this involves a whole change of attitude, ways of thinking, ways of seeing or perceiving reality and others, ways of talking, etc. All of which I would not be able to lay out just in a blog but there’s a whole lot of substantial realizations that one can gain from walking this process I’m talking about in a dedicated and comprehensive manner.

And that’s precisely what the Desteni I Process is about, to learn how to effectively change at a core level of ourselves – no quick fixes for sure – which means, yes it does take dedication, discipline, consistency, self-honesty, self-responsibility but hey, isn’t this the least that we can give and do for ourselves after we have been living and seeing the direct consequence of Not living to our utmost potential? Isn’t it so that if we are to become living beings of integrity, self-respect, honor and responsibility it requires to give it our utmost personal investment in many ways to get to achieve it? Yes it does, we’ve squandered our capacity, ability and potential for such a long time, for generations and generations before.

So, my take here is to take this opportunity that is here and has been here for 10 years now on Earth to for once and for all step out of self-limitation and into self-creation as life – it takes courage, takes dedication, takes self-will but I can guarantee you, it’s the best ‘gift’ you can ever give to yourself in your life, and starting with the basics in the DIP Lite free course is a way to ‘test the waters’ of what this process is and why it is laid out in a day by day process, bit by bit, nothing overwhelming or difficult to do, it’s all about writing self and a willingness to support yourself, that’s all that’s required.

I’m living and seeing the benefits of this in my life and this is what drives me to continually share about it, because I certainly would like every single human being that is able to do this process to realize their potential, to walk out of the ‘tunnel vision’ of the mind and embrace a completely different way of approaching life and living that will stay with you, forever! Of course if lived, applied and walked in this life-time self-commitment approach.

 

Here I share some more depth into what it really means and takes to change.

Through assisting and supporting other people to walk the same process that I’ve been walking for some years now, I am usually reminded of the saying ‘remember the process’ that it takes to get to change one single aspect in ourselves. And in a way yes, having to remind myself of how challenging it can be to walk through a particular experience in our minds that we want to change but simply can’t do so as fast or as quickly as we would like to, because of the layers of reactions, judgments and general negative experiences that we have imprinted onto the living of self-responsibility, which is our ability to create the changes that we want to live while at the same time getting to know and understanding ‘who we are’ as all of those limitations that we have imposed onto ourselves through fears, emotions, feelings, judgments, opinions, prejudices… anything and all that ends up limiting ourselves to really live the way that we see would make more sense and be more beneficial and practical for us.

Through getting to understand my own mind and at the same time working with others and reading others’ processes walking through this same self-investigation, I’ve become aware of a rather common experience that is negative in nature within ourselves, mostly existing as inferiority, shame, embarrassment, insecurity, inadequacy which creates a ‘lock down’ when it comes to conceiving change for the better – and stepping from that into simply creating a ‘positive experience’ in the mind, like trying to just ‘feel’ confident or going into a superiority act towards others is not the way either as real change.  And to get more depth into this please check out this awesome video that explains it all too from the School Of Ultimate Living

·         How to Live Redefined Words

 

What I’ve found is that once that we start seeing and acknowledging for the first time our self-honesty, meaning, seeing the actual truth of ourselves as all the ‘worst’ parts of ourselves that we require to change, an urgency for change emerges in the sense that we start getting bothered by continuing to see ‘the same experience’ in ourselves day by day – but unfortunately this process doesn’t work in such an quick-fix way where we can step from ‘point A’ to point of entire change as ‘point B’, because all of those aspects we want to change of ourselves are not just ‘faulty programming’ that we can  get rid of in one go, we have to understand that  it’s become the way that we live, behave, act  based on our environment, our parents, from past generations, from  our relationships and there’s so much of ourselves that has been imprinted or ‘formed’ according to these thoughts and experiences at a physical level that wanting to step right away into the ‘changed self’ will most likely result in a temporary fix where one might ‘feel better’ but it’s not a real self-creation process over time with actually getting to know oneself and through that understanding laying out the ways to go implementing change bit by bit.

However this ‘change’ doesn’t imply that one has in fact understood how is it that we were maintaining and fueling those ‘negative’ experiences in ourselves as all of the inferiority, inadequacy or experience of being ‘out of place’ all the time and how is it that we have been accepting and allowing them to exist within us/as ourselves through our participation in thoughts, experiences, judgments, opinions that we hold about ourselves, about others and then end up living it out as ‘who we are’ all the time.

This is where the relevance of this process from consciousness to awareness comes in, to really get to know ourselves, to develop the patience, diligence, humbleness, consistency and willingness to dedicate oneself to create one’s life. Through taking the time that real self-change requires, one gets to understand ‘why’ change cannot come that ‘easily’ when getting to understand who we are as our mind, being and body relationship and to what extent all of those personalities, experiences or characters that we’ve become are already ingrained at a deep level within ourselves where sometimes, even after years of applying the tools of self-support, one will still continue ‘peeling the layers’ of our programming and continuing to work with those core or most ingrained patterns and keep ‘at it’ with diligence.

Within this, I listened to this recording today Manifested Consequences & Rushing to Change – The Future of Awareness – Part 86 which very much explains this point in much more detail and more so in the context of ‘fighting’ our mind where we would like to ‘be done with’ our problems and experiences in one go and I definitely suggest listening to it because it details the nature of walking through manifested consequences, which is related to the point of owning our creation and learning to walk through it and embrace our reality in self-responsibility, which is not about fighting, not intended to be considered as a drag or a problem even, but a process of reaping what one sows, facing what one has created, without the emotional process involved in getting to see in self-honesty who we are and have become.

Here what emerged in me as well is how many times we tend to want to jump into this ‘self-perfected’ version of ourselves that is ‘completely changed and done with this process.’ Early on into this process I decided not to participate in these kind of thinking, because I considered it to be ‘unreal’ and at the same time causing more of a limitation and expectations based on how I can conceive myself as ‘perfect’ or ‘be done with process’ currently am in my life, which is certainly not the same person I was 9 years ago when I started this process, nor will it be in 10 or 20 more years down the line.

Therefore, I definitely see the benefit of letting go of this urge to change, or focusing so much in ‘wanting to change’ as a desire where one actually loses ground or sense of what ‘living process’ is all about which is in fact about who we can decide to be and what we decide to do in all of those moments where we can actually apply ourselves to change, to implement and test out the commitments and corrections we’ve written out for ourselves and doing so on a day by day, moment by moment basis.

I’ve found that any time that I even dare to think of ‘all the changes I need to do in my life’ it can seem like this humungous amount of stuff piled up in front of me and of course, I would get completely bummed and discouraged if I’d dared to do this on a daily basis and consider the word ‘change’ as this huge pile of things to roll out in front of me for ‘the rest of my life’! Man, it sounds overwhelming isn’t it? But just like Matti explained in his very cool vlog as well You only ever have to change for ONE DAY we don’t really ‘own’ that future that we are projecting as this ‘changed self’, we don’t even ‘own’ or have certainty of breathing our next breath, which is why this process is very much something that I suggest is considered on a ‘moment to moment’ basis and considering ‘one point at a time’ as well.

Otherwise if we go into imaginations, ideas, projections of ‘being changed’ or ‘being done’ with one’s process, it leads one to then inevitably ‘come back’ to reality and see where one is and get discouraged, get ‘bummed out’ or overwhelmed for the apparent ‘amount of work to do’ and that’s why the suggestion that you’ll read around many times: one point at a time, one breath at a time, take it day by day, moment by moment.

I can say from personal experience that if you drop all of that future projection or ideals of ‘who you want to be’ or drop the need to ‘reach’ certain imagined outcome for yourself and instead completely work with ‘what’s here’ in your life, in your reality in the moment = everything simplifies a LOT and suddenly this whole ‘self-change’ process becomes very realistic and very doable, even simplistic if one cooperates in self-honesty.

This also implies that we need to let go of this idea that one will be ‘done’ with one’s process at some point. I definitely also don’t see this process of changing who we are not only as individuals but at a global level as something that I’ll get to ‘finish’ this lifetime nor in the next generations to come – yet, it doesn’t matter to me because this process as much as it is yes a process of self-change and global change, I mostly see it as a way of living, a new way of creating our lives and learning new ways to make our lives supportive for ourselves and others, within the manifested consequences and yes limitations and current contexts we are living in this world, which is why we also at the same time go understanding what being a self-responsible creator means.

How I have approached this process of self-change is not so much as a ‘temporary’ thing that I am applying or walking as a course only, but genuinely integrating new ways of thinking, living, interacting, creating, relating to others, making decisions, improving myself, bettering myself in many ways and that is in essence what living is about for me – not about wanting to be ‘perfect’ or ‘fearing making mistakes’ or ‘reacting to my flaws’ any longer, but rather embracing all of which I go uncovering about myself – yes, the ugly, the worst, the not cool at all aspects too – that exists as who I currently am so that I can then get ‘hands on the matter’ and work on it.

This is how this process from consciousness to self-awareness as life is something continuous, bit by bit, just like we go ‘powering’ our lives breath by breath, beat by beat – it’s a way of existing in myself and in my every day  life where through integrating these tools of self-investigation such as self-honesty, self-writing, self-forgiveness, living words and laying out practical solutions for change becomes a new way in which I think, in which I can use ‘what’s here’ in my moment to learn about myself, to devise solutions, to test them out, to fine tune my expression, to stand up from mistakes, to create new paths for me to walk on, to expand the way in which I conceive me as part of this world, to learn to see others as equal in living substance.

And this is how through the application of all of this with dedication and consistency, one can in fact develop much of the supportive and realistic aspects or values that we tend to project about ourselves as ‘having changed’ and having all these virtues and supportive habits – but then it is the result of this day by day application, it is a direct consequence of one’s decision to support oneself in every moment and live the words and commitments that one has laid out to change.

In this change ceases to be this ‘chimera’ to someday, somehow ‘suddenly reach’ this self that we want to be, instead it is a very real and practical process where we go creating the person that we want to be and live as for the rest of our lives for and by ourselves, in every moment. This is about the person you’ll be with for the rest of your life!

Long blog! but that’s what I essentially wanted to share today, how a lot of the ‘cool words’ or ‘ideals’ we want to live such as confidence, assertiveness, self-trust, discipline, responsibility, comfort, enjoyment, the ability to establish supportive relationships with others, etc. are the result of processes over space and time that one can go working on a daily basis with, and that’s how what matters is not the ‘end result’ or a ‘perfected-self’ at the end of your life, but what matters is who one is on a day to day, moment by moment basis, that’s the only life we ever ‘own’ really, and that’s why projecting change into the future is pointless, really, and a waste of breaths and potential to who we can be in the moment, today.

Join in!

  

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


493. Hitting Rock Bottom and Learning to Question It

There’s a challenge going around to share about our ‘Hitting Rock Bottom’ Experience and I can relate to what many others have shared in relation to getting to a point of seeing ‘no point’ in life or ‘finding no meaning to life’ and seeing all the consequences out there that we usually react to like wars, famine, corruption, dying of animal species, pollution and general ‘reckless behavior’ in humanity that I several times used as an excuse, a reason and justification for me to believe there is ‘no point’ in continuing living because ‘it will be impossible to change anything in this world for the better.’

I made of the reality of the world an Experience within me which became a state of anger, hopelessness, helplessness, disempowerment, lostness, depression and seeing ‘no point’ in living. What’s interesting is that my rock bottom was precisely because of not understanding my own experiences generated through my own mind by my own participation in these constant thoughts about ‘the world out there.’

I wasn’t aware that I was the one causing myself to be existing in this very tormented experience that I would cause with feeding myself of news and data about the state of affairs in the world where every single time I’d end up turning it all into an experience of powerlessness, anger towards those I believed were in positions of authority to ‘change the world’, I would  complain and criticize whoever I could without Ever asking myself… but how am I participating in all of this? How is it that I am making of all of the problems in the world this experience within me that doesn’t practically change anything at all?

I never properly asked those questions, which is why I led myself to various ways to evade myself in a belief of ‘there being nothing to live for’ or ‘the world is doomed and so am I’. I had given up on ‘the world’ and was decided to stay away ‘as much as I could’ from people and become an isolated individual that doesn’t have to participate with other people, that doesn’t have to continue being into politics and social affairs, I was making a decision to seek some truth in a spiritual manner, lol.

So yes! What I can identify as a personal life crisis was precisely happening right before I got to know of Desteni and right after I discovered it, and I’ll always say that I saved my life with Desteni’s tools of self-support and explanations to get to be aware ‘who we are’ in reality in this world, because I was willing to go down many rabbit holes in an attempt to escape reality and find some solace in some ‘higher truths’ of all kinds… not nice, not pretty even though the intent was still that of ‘wanting to make some changes in the world,’ I was about to dive deeply into the spirituality-loop where I had started to focus more on all things positive while continuing to suppress a lot of emotional turmoil, various relationships in my life that were Not supportive at all and in essence being in a very uncomfortable position where I decided to keep an appearance of ‘everything is fine and I am enjoying myself’ when I was not, at all, it was the saddest and most confusing time in my life and that’s because I had to own my decisions in life at the moment and compromise myself in the belief that I could not ‘show to the world’ how miserable I am because… what will everyone say? This was right at the beginning of my career and even if I had the friends and relationships, nope, nothing seemed to ‘lessen the void’ really.

I had a rough time back then which, by the way stopped on a day like today but 9 years ago that I watched the first Desteni videos and from there my life took another turn where I was then going to be going through a momentary ‘life crisis’ due to my reactions upon realizing who we really are and what has been going on in the world, in this reality without any of us having been aware of it throughout our entire existence! That was also a tough time because suddenly I could realize that I could drop all of my intents to find some ‘truth out there’ but then I had to actually start dismantling the ‘me’ that I had built as myself, the personalities, the ways of evading my self-responsibility, I had to start questioning and letting go of the experiences that even if they were clearly Not supportive for myself I had grown in a way addicted to live out and feed as ‘who I am’ every single day.

So I can say that starting this process was also a tempestuous time in my life which lasted around 2 days of believing that ‘my life was about to end’ when in fact, lol, that was only me as my mind throwing a massive tantrum because I could not believe that ‘my life had been an entire lie!’ – though of course this was an initial and very premature reaction which I externalized through an email to people at the Desteni forum and I was very glad to receive a personal response from now my many years friend and fellow Destonian Talamon explaining me with all the right and supportive words that all of that despair that I was experiencing was only an experience in my mind, that it wasn’t ‘the real me’ as the potential of who I am as life. Bam! That was the first time that I was able to make a decision to see my reactions as a part of me as my mind = therefore only real as long as I continue Making them real – this was me realizing that I could decide to stop, something I could decide to change and investigate to see what is behind this experience of ‘everything is lost’ and then getting to see in common sense that this was clearly one of those resistances I was acting out in my mind, which are very common when getting to know more about the truth of ourselves… we first fight it, deny it, hide away from, sometimes ‘demonize it’ it until we make that decision to see, to stand, to embrace the truth and reality which was actually the best and most empowering decision I’ve ever made in my life and one that has changed my life until today.

I find it interesting though that I can recall that ‘hitting rock bottom’ experience linked to finding about Desteni and having what I called back then a ‘massive breakdown’ of crying and being super confused and depressed, but it only took me to write an email – yes, very desperate one, lol – to get some support and I realized that indeed, I was only acting out upon it and that the actual process had yet to be started by me.

Since then there is this awareness that whenever I am driving myself into any experience of utter discomfort, reactions, sadness, depression – what do I know? I am creating it myself, I am turning my attention away from myself, in what I am accepting and allowing within me, what I am creating in my life to the all-time favorite distraction which has been of turning the ‘world affairs’ into my Own experience of depression or hopelessness. It is a personal decision I am making there to turn ‘the outside’ experience into my own experience and I have to say that till this day and year, this is something I still continue to work with because my ‘weak point’ is precisely being too focused on ‘all the problems in the world’ and then internalizing them as ‘my experience’ because I had believed that doing so makes me a person ‘that cares’ or that is willing to be in solidarity with every single sentient being that is suffering in this world – but emotions won’t ever sort out anything, emotions won’t ever create a solution to it all, only I can be and stand as a solution starting with stopping my own reactions to a few aspects of the world and in doing so, stop the very cycles in my mind that recreate those same problems in the within and without of ourselves.

Therefore hitting the rock bottom is more like a compounded experience that is entirely self-created every time that I accept and allow myself to participate in thoughts that I create emotional reactions with, using ‘logic’ as knowledge and information to justify an experience within my mind in an attempt to show care, to ‘become’ mentally and physically affected as a way to ‘stand with those that suffer’, which is really bizarre if I look at it that way because my suffering or emotional tantrums won’t ever sort anything out, yet within a righteousness as the justifications in our minds, it’s easy to create such equations and believe that if we all become emotional about something, we will be able to change it, which is not so – been there, done that, never works.

What I have  to every single time remind myself of is that I decide to create these experiences or not, that I can make a decision to stop reacting emotionally to facts, to situations going on in my world and that I have to stop feeding the ‘hopelessness’ character with every single bit of information or world-awareness fact that I could ‘add’ to the same character where I would start justifying my experience due to ‘the world out there’ – this is what has to stop, not only in me but in all of us.

The point is therefore to focus on our own stopping of the suffering cycles of emotional reactions and ‘breakdowns’ within our own mind and acknowledge the responsibility we have to our own inner experience, that’s the first thing I had to take care of right away when realizing that I was causing this tantrum/emotional breakdown in my mind and that I had the ability to stop it. It was truly as if the whole world had opened up to me in that moment and ever since, it’s been easier to step out of me ‘creating my cases’ to step into a sense of depression, helplessness, hopelessness and so forth because I would be deceiving myself into my own ways of ‘escapism’ from myself.

Instead every single time with continued diligence, self-support and learning from others in this process, I’ve been able to stand up every time and the ‘lostness’ lasts less and less every time around though, I am tested every time with this point and this ‘propensity’ to become emotional about the ‘state of the world’ and every time I have to remind myself: back to self, focusing on myself, not making of the problems ‘out there’ my inner experience because this serves nothing and no one, this doesn’t sort out any of the problems, I only wreck myself and my body with it – I have to instead live by and practically apply the principles of self-honesty, self-responsibility and self-investigation to no longer judge or react at the world ‘out there’ but rather see how I can assist myself to stop reacting and focus on my own living creation, on who and what I want to create in my life.

This is also how I stopped my ideas of ‘losing meaning on this life’ or ‘pondering about the meaning of life’ which were also questions that I would use to taunt myself into a ‘bottom’ of depression and sadness, lol, never questioning myself ‘but wait a minute, how is it that I want to make of life a piece of knowledge an information as a ‘meaning’ instead of Living it?’

I can only be eternally grateful that I’ve been able to learn how to debunk my own mental entrapments and acknowledge and apply my ability to change my experience – yet, as I explained, this is always a choice I have to make: do I decide to turn this moment into an emotional experience, or do I decide to learn to see it objectively for what it is, to see reality as is and learn from the patterns it is presenting, learning from the consequences caused, learning to see myself as co-creator of this entire world and reality where I have to no longer fall into my own ‘mind-control’ by sinking into a depression.

The the real change resides in our ability to stand clean and clear, sober, in full dedication of ourselves to LIFE, to OUR lives first and foremost because, if we are not The Best for ourselves, how can we in any way ‘assist’ others out there? How can we in any way ‘show the way’ to create solutions if we haven’t done that for ourselves first of all? And this has been a humbling realization and a very supportive one so that I could finally understand that I didn’t have to go ‘saving the world’ or ‘others’ or trying to create a ‘revolution’ out there, but start with myself.

And over these now as of today 9 years since day 1 of creating this awareness of this existential process of birthing life in the physical, all that I can say is that I am grateful to myself for allowing me to hear and ‘try out’ the tools of self-support like writing, applying self-forgiveness and developing self-honesty, developing the Courage it takes to develop self-honesty and I am definitely only in the first phase of this process with everyone else – whether aware of it or not –  there’s much more to create and keep debunking within myself as the redirection of who I am in my mind and in my reality.

However, one point that I’d like to share as a last bit of support whenever facing similar ‘existential questionings’ or ‘seeing no way out’ in this reality, remember to realize that these questions will lead nowhere, because Life is Not an Experience, Life is not Knowledge and Information, Life is about Living. And Living in the common sensical and best definition it is and implies, it’s all about applying oneself in this process that I am so fortunate to be aware of and walking in this reality, which is that of dedicating one’s life to develop self-honesty and live in common sense.

This is also why invariably the topic of ‘hitting rock bottom’ leads to me suggesting anyone to gift yourself the Desteni Process, because that is the ultimate way to debunk our ‘rock bottoms’ forever and see them for what they are: as mental tantrums – really – and instead learn to create one’s life, learn to focus on what’s really substantial to live and do in this world. We decide, we always can decide to step into life and out of the mental conundrums and conflictive experiences.

Thanks for reading

Hangouts within the DIP Channel sharing more about this topic by several Destonians:

Practical Self-Empowerment: Moving Beyond the Rock and a Hard Place

Empowerment Through Practical Solutions in a Hopeless Time

HAVE YOU LOST ALL HOPE FOR HUMANITY?

Angry at the World and Want to do Something about it?

 

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Join us in our process of Self-Responsibility as LIFE

 

 


467. Stepping Out of the Zone

Or how to redirect oneself into self-creation when being more quiet and stable within oneself.

A common experience that emerges within oneself after some time as in several years of being ‘processing’ one’s mind and upon working with the basics of understanding one’s emotions and feelings, understanding one’s reactions and how to practically work with them, one gets to a phase which I’ve defined as a ‘zero point’ or ‘dead point’ because it is that moment where one can noticeably be more stable, more quiet, not so many voices in the head or being more at ease within oneself to a point where we get to apparently feel a form of loss or death within us, and the interesting thing is that it’s not like we are in fact becoming more robotic or ‘dead’ inside ourselves, but the other way around.

This experience which is in fact a lack of energetic stimulation/not participating as much in our minds which we may experience as a loss or ‘missing’ something in our lives can be understood in two ways:

1.      We have defined ourselves so much according to energy as emotions, feelings, constant inner conflict and inner movements that we had equated those experiences as ‘being living/being alive’ where we had always accepted and allowed our self-definition to be equated to an energetic experience inside us, moving us, being the ‘driving force’ for us to do something. An example is where one gets to discover within this process of self-awareness that even our great plans and projects in our lives could have been in fact motivated by a form of self-interest, a fear such as an inferiority seeking a superiority, a way to ‘demonstrate’ to others one is capable of something and trumping others and calling this ‘one’s motivation to succeed’.

I found that a lot of what I did and moved myself with was in fact that of ego, of self-interest, of seeking an energetic experience and so, that was part of what I had to willingly stop doing and feeding in my life – and yes it felt like quitting a drug of sorts of course, but that’s what I knew I had to do in order to be the real me that is here, just physically here which practically means saying ‘no’ to all kinds of ‘temptations’ if you will for me to ‘go back’ into the old ways, to just participate into this or that ‘a little’ and it’s no different to craving a drug or sugar if you’re addicted to either, it seems like one just can’t hold it, but through continuous practice in one’s resolve and discipline, it is possible to ‘starve’ that experience and let it go.

 

 I’ve found that upon then being more stable, calm and quiet within myself, self-motivation and self-movement is are one of those seemingly challenging points because one won’t ‘feel’ like doing anything, but one can move, can direct and get to do things, regardless of ‘getting anything out of it’ as an energetic experience, but simply doing it based on a common sensical decision to create, to support oneself, to get to attend our basic responsibilities, to expand, to grow, to develop ourselves further and this is where one can easily fall into the idea that ‘nothing is opening up for us’/ nothing is moving, nothing is happening – because we are no longer motivating ourselves through energy, within constant friction and conflict seeking a ‘way out’ and we are no longer having these high and lows that we had defined as ‘who we are’ – but it will in fact be a more quiet process that in comparison to the previous ‘hectic and energetic self’ might seem indeed like an internal death experience, but it’s not.

 

This phase and experience of ‘not having much going on inside oneself’ and inside one’s head can even be felt in some as a form of depression, which surely just as ‘regular depression’ it happens when we are sinking into nothingness, finding comfort in doing nothing else but self-pitying ourselves and focusing on fueling emotional turmoil inside. In this phase and process I’m talking about, it might feel like ‘nothing moves, nothing makes us ‘feel’ any longer, so what’s the point?’ and that’s how if one does not in fact direct oneself to create oneself and fill that space there, one can go back to ‘the old self’ as in seeking for stimulations as energy fixes of any kind that we had become used to and apparently ‘feel alive’ again.

 

This is what happens when one ‘falls’ into a pattern again that one had self-forgiven and worked on before. It just means we didn’t sufficiently stand in our decision and resolve to stop a particular habit or pattern in our minds and so in our doings, it means that we allowed our addiction of any kind to ‘kick in’ as a mind- back up to keep ourselves ensnared in our minds, going into the old patterns because ‘it feels familiar, it feels like the good old me again’ and before we know it we’re back to base 1 of transcending/walking through a particular experience, habit or addiction for that matter, and we have to start the whole process of standing up from those experiences again, and as many times as required to get it.

 

So here it means that one has to actually get used to this seemingly and apparently ‘slow pace’ of living, which is an actual physical pace, not a ‘mind pace’ where everything goes super fast and can be insta-created as we wish and like and so forth – one has to let go of all of those bits that seem to be like ‘mind hooks’ coming up in our minds, wanting to go here/do that/think this/imagine that in order to ‘keep the mind alive’ so to speak, that’s exactly where we have constantly decide to starve those desires and false needs because really, we don’t need these experiences to be ‘alive’ at all, au contraire, they represent obstacles, detours that take us back to square one and not really move forward.

 

That’s also where one’s understanding of what is to be self-honest comes handy, because that is a constant guideline to know how do we decide to spend our time of the day, how do we decide to live every moment, what do we decide to invest our space and time on – and this is there where the point 2 comes in.

 

2.      This ‘deadness’ or ‘emptiness’ or ‘lack’ experienced is in fact an indication that we are at our blank-slate point or square one of self-creation. What happens when we stop particular habits or patterns is that we stop giving space, energy and time to that which used to ‘occupy ourselves’ in our minds, something that would most likely not be constructive but time-consuming, destructive, keeping us in fears, anxieties, feeling unsatisfied, wanting to do/consume something all the time to ‘feel something’ but, that desire right there once that it is settled and kept ‘at bay’ with one’s resolve and perseverance, what is left is in fact a space, a void that needs to now be reprogramed, re-wired, a part of us that now has to be self-filled with something like a living word, a new set of actions, a new plan to see where and how do we want to expand and explore ourselves into.

And this is where according to one’s environment, capacity, time, financial stability and a variety of other factors we can decide how to best redirect our time, effort and attention to self-creation in a way that is now supportive, in a way that we know we are supporting ourselves to become the versions of us that does not require to exist in constant stress, fear or conflict to be motivated to do something, that does not require to have a constant ‘competition’ in mind to decide to be better every day, that can decide to no longer be defined by particular likes, preferences or types of personality that could refrain ourselves from doing something that is ‘out of our programming’ so to speak, and see/test who we are within it and not fear the change.

 

This is then the phase we constantly are in whenever we go more effectively stopping ourselves from diving into a mind experience, and then there’s that opportunity to expand further or remain ‘on the nothingness-same spot’ – none of these two options is better or worse, it’s simply about where one is at one’s process and in one’s self-honesty. But in my case, whenever I remain into ‘not moving myself’ in those moments, it becomes like being stopping for far too long on a traffic light and knowing that there’s a green light again, an opportunity to step on the road and redirect myself but I don’t do it, and that’s what can lead myself back to similar patterns of the past like depression, feeling lethargic or apathetic or ‘seeing no point’ in anything because one has now created space in oneself to redirect, to create, to grow, to develop new ways and ideas, to make decisions on how to invest our time of the day on – and if this is not done, then we might go back to seeking to ‘feel’ something because we haven’t actually taken self-responsibility to create ourselves, to direct ourselves.

 

And this is also a very personal phase of self-creation because we are so used to having something/someone ‘telling us what to do’ or ‘what to create’ or ‘where to put our attention on’ or ‘what we have to complete now’ – we’ve done that all the time from when we were very young in our parents’ house and then on the education system, then at work, in society and we’ve been so used to always ‘following’ and having someone else ‘leading us’ – which makes it truly ‘awkward’ in this new phase because: we have to decide and give direction to ourselves, we have to test new things ourselves, we have to decide how far or how near we decide to take ourselves to in doing/living something, which directions to take.

 

For that, we can only have our self-trust, knowing that no matter ‘what’ we decide to do with ourselves, we always have the tools of self-support like writing, applying self-forgiveness, developing self introspection and self-honesty to then create solutions, create ways through in moments where difficulties emerge, where plans fail and we have to find a new route – this is a certainty that we can create within us because of having proven to ourselves that it is possible to stop being ‘guided by the mind’ and that we now can stand in the path of self-creation and test, find, be creative and know that we can always find a way through in it.

 

It’s also very much the realization of self-creation, of being god onto ourselves and understanding that there is nothing or no one that can decide this for us, we have to do it and so acknowledge the responsibility and results/consequences that may unfold from our decisions, for ourselves and for everyone else that is here in this world as well.

 

All of this might sound too much or ‘scary’ for some, but it’s actually the most empowering position one can stand on, and one that is enjoyable if one decides to make it so – again, it’s very much up to each one to decide who I want to be and who do I decide to be in this phase of creating the better version of myself that I can work for myself and that I can, at the same time, gift to others in this world/in my life to.

 

Sounds good isn’t it? It’s a constant redirection, because ‘temptations’ will always come in whichever form we have programmed ourselves to, each one of us knows exactly what those ‘weaknesses’ are that we have to develop into a strengths, simply making a decision that we know where such experience leads us – therefore, there’s always a moment to detour and take another way, one that is honorable, that is of self-honesty and that in the long run – no matter how ‘hard’ or ‘challenging’ it may seem at first to step into self-change – we know that it is the better way, it is the commendable way, it is the way that we will lead ourselves to get to a spot in our lives where we can ‘bear ourselves’ and embrace ourselves completely – no regrets, no guilt, no remorse, no ‘what if’s or ‘should have’s’ because this way means assessing what is it that we really want to use our life-time and space on and for.

 

All that is left from this then is a reminder for myself whenever feeling like ‘giving up’ or seeing things as ‘pointless’ or ‘nothing is happening’ or ‘feeling too empty’ and going into a general ‘low experience’ what do I know? I require to set myself a direction, to give myself a direction and at the same time expand to something a bit different than before so as to no create also a constant-comfort zone where there is no real expansion in it, but just keeping oneself constantly occupied on the same. That’s the challenge I have for myself and will look into this as I decide precisely, upon having this ‘blank slate’ where would I like to develop myself more, what would I like to expand my interests on, where can I expand my support on, what can I create?

 

The options are many, we can make a decision of what we do, where we do it, with whom or alone and make sure that whatever we create, we take responsibility for it at the same time.

 

So, time to step out of the ‘dead-nothingness-zone’ and give that step into self-creation.

 

Recommended: From Created to Creator – Reptilians – Part 306

 

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Check out these great sites for self support and self development :


429. What Relationships Can Be In This World

I just remembered how when I was growing up and going through school, I saw the disparity that existed between people. I used to be the one that would always get it ‘all right’ and it truly saddened me to see that others could see themselves as not being able to do something, getting sad and nervous because of not being able to achieve something or perform in something, or perceiving themselves as not good enough or simply truly weren’t able to create a certain outcome for themselves: a project, an exam, a task, understanding some kind of exercise in any subject. In this, within reflecting about what we truly need to create in this world, common sense dictates that it is definitely not a series of relationships based on competition, comparison, wanting to be ‘on top of others’ or deliberately sabotage others in order to perceive oneself to be ‘winning’ – and the same goes for the opposite side where we deliberately sabotage ourselves, set ourselves to lose and become plainly apathetic, angry or depressed about virtually everything, not wanting to live –  instead, I consider that creating relationships of mutual support  is what is needed in our world.

I read the other day someone’s post where they pointed out how there is a ‘life coach for almost everything nowadays,’ which is so in an era where anything can be turned into a business – yes, virtually anything – and so the person concluded  that each one should instead be their own life coach. I wholeheartedly agree on the latter since the whole problem in this world is that we have become blind by our consent and led to the slaughterhouse with tricks and gimmicks that we wholly bought into, because we didn’t know any other form of self-respect – we can forgive ourselves for that… But, the point of applying any form of self-support and self-improvement is to eventually get to a point where one does not depend on any other person to get to see the common sense in any situation, to get to learn to trust oneself, to learn to make decisions, to face the mistakes and consequences, essentially to learn how to live, how to motivate oneself without expecting the carrot on the stick the next moment and reach one’s utmost potential within the consideration and foundation of what is best for all – whichever this potential/expression may be for each person in their lifetime.  

However, throughout these years I learned that we are unfortunately not born with an intrinsic set of abilities, considerations and realizations to become this self-improved version of oneself from the get-go. I wish it was like that, that we had common sensical parents, education systems, families, media, politicians, entertainment and the whole rest of things and people that we are influenced by and consume throughout our lifetime, having little to no reference of how things could be ‘better.’ And if it was so that one we didn’t need  to learn or support ourselves from others, it would be obvious by now: we would not have the mess of the world we have now, let me fine tune that: the mess of the people we have become in this world.

So, I then reflected on myself. Sure, I had some ‘qualities’ that people in the system would have regarded as ‘remarkable’ but none of it was of factual substance, it didn’t benefit anything or anyone but a ‘mark’ on myself and my ego. Any personal success sure felt ‘good’ but at the same time it felt completely contrived, my life was not satisfying even if ‘I had a good life.’ So what was really missing? Well every time I looked around and saw that this reality of ‘success in all’ didn’t exist to everyone, available for everyone, I would get depressed and sad because come on! who the hell can enjoy the sight of misery? No one in their common 5 senses. 

When I started walking this process 8 years ago now, I realized that the much hoped for ‘change in the world’ that I expected to be created or emerge by the hand of some ‘god’ or ‘force of nature’ out there, had to be in fact started by myself, by supporting me and allowing myself to actually be supported by others that were doing the same for themselves. This is in fact the greatest gift I was able to give to myself when it was made available as such – as it is currently now for everyone that wants to support themselves as well – unconditionally, with no second agendas other than applying the principle of what it means to be ‘one and equal’ in fact, of understanding the necessity we all have to stand up, assist ourselves to become the best versions we can be of ourselves and so, change the world.

Would I have been able to immediately, without any help/support, be able to ‘stand up’ within myself and now stand as support for others too?  Absolutely and honestly, no. I was too emotional to have been able to see past those experiences and discover my inner strength, to realize what I was in fact able and capable of being in my life, which has been possible throughout this process which does involve having other people being there for you to assist us, to suggest directions, to remind ourselves of what we may already be aware of at some level but haven’t been paying enough attention to realize that we do have a potential to be this best version we can of ourselves, we just have covered it up with fears, beliefs, judgments, opinions, ideas, distorted and often disrespectful imaginations of ourselves. This is where I realized that I in fact needed that helping hand, and how grateful I am for it because I would not be who I am now If I hadn’t made the decision to walk this process, to actually join a group of self-support and let go of all of my fears or ideas that I had related to ‘being part of a group of self-support’ no matter how hard it was to let go of my idea that ‘I could do it by myself’ too, which I’ve realized is mostly ego at times when I know and have from time to time reference how supportive it always is to have another pair of eyes and ears to reference one’s choices and decisions in life.

What I understood from the first day I decided to in essence walk this process and change my life, is that I wanted to be able to assist in this process of ‘changing the world’ by changing ourselves. I wanted to be part of the team of people that could in the same way that I was being assisted to stand up for once and for all, also assist others in doing the same in their lives. Today me and the same group of people that have walked this process for over 8 years together, were reflecting about how satisfying it is to actually assist oneself and assist others to become ‘the better version of themselves they can be’ or ‘to reach their utmost potential,’ in essence, to become part of that change that we so dearly want to create in this world.

I can honestly say that I had not realized how I am in fact doing what I have been seeking to do since I was a very little girl. I tried helping people with studying and learning stuff, since that’s what I was programmed to be ‘good at’ I guess, but that’s not really something entirely useful for the rest of our lives. Assisting another to actually develop their inherent abilities and qualities to live life to the best of each one’s ability and become an extra-ordinary person is definitely something that is in all sense of the word, priceless and fully satisfying.

So, I mentioned how it would be awesome if we all had relationships in this world that were as supportive as the ones that we have between ourselves as a group of self-support. And the reality is that: we can! We only have to make the decision to do so, all that it takes is first doing this for ourselves, to be humble enough to realize: yes, I require some support, I can benefit from some assistance in learning how to support myself, to direct myself to eventually be trusting myself to not only keep doing this for me, but also extend this support to others. I also understand that some people can have the capacity, skills and general discipline it takes to do this for yourself, to be your own ‘life coach’ if you will: my hats off to them if they truly consider they can do it by themselves… but I can only speak for my life and the situations where I had to be humble enough to realize: I needed some help because I was a bit lost at the time.  And! it is an ongoing process, because it’s a continuous feedback loop to learn from, to nurture ourselves from each other and from whichever each one lives in our day to day.

This is not just buying or paying for a service that you get as a form of therapy, this is not a one person you don’t know that gets to listen to you for hours. I as many others involved in supporting other individuals, in fact walk with one another side by side, as equals in the process  – we do this because we not only understand that everyone at some point in their lives need a hand, need some support, need some guidance, but also because we understand that if we have an ultimate view of this world being able to be something better than what it is now, we don’t have to go that far to try and ‘change the world’ as an unintelligible mess, but to rather take the first steps and start with ourselves, one by one. It is also because it is part of living the principles that I decided to align myself in this life: do onto others as you’d like to be done onto you. And in a more directive manner as it happened to me: do to others what others unconditionally have done in support of you and your life in this world. This is invaluable.

The relationships created with this group of people I work/communicate with are something that I would not change for the world. It is not just a one way ‘coach-trainee’ relationship, it is not a leader-follower relationship, it is beyond that. It is about human beings that decide to assist and support each other for an entire lifetime if needed until the person stands in self-trust and sufficient confidence so that they now can be a pillar of support and assistance to others that are equally willing to assist and support themselves. This is not a facilitator-receiver process only, this is one deciding to get involved with the person in a process where through communication, week after week, throughout years,  a real bond is created, an actual care for another is developed, ensuring that one is there as a point of reference when our compass seems to get a lost and continue to support in the development of all the qualities and skills that each person discovers they can bring forth or create as part of this self-creative path.

This is the process of weaving the relationships, the community, the network of people that are and will continue to change the way that we live in this world, and so change it in fact.  This is the real reward: not money, not recognition, not ‘feeling good’ only for a moment or positive highs, or relationships of monetary interest, not at all. This is the actual creative process for a person to realize who they really are and can be in this life not only for themselves, but for the common good of everyone and everything else, while developing relationships with people from around the world for a lifetime. That’s what real friendships and relationship should be about in my humble opinion.

I dare you to find this out for yourself.

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


428. How to Stop the Despair about the World?

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There are times when what one is doing toward any form of change doesn’t seem to be enough at all, in fact it can even be perceived as counterproductive or judged by others as useless or harmful. I’ve faced patterns of general ‘alienation’ in relation to seeing a genuine way in which one can create an effect for others as well, but I guess that the point missed is that in focusing too much on ‘doing it out there’ the ‘in here’ is left out of the picture, and what I mean by ‘in here’ is seeing where I am not supporting myself to the point of being the normal stable support for myself and so for others.

What happens is that I started focusing too much ‘out there’ only and being taken aback by the reality of many that are genuinely suffering. We know this world is in dire straits, it is our creation and consequence therefore, we cannot really ‘do much’ about it alone – we have to stand together in a similar stance and perspective to get to fine tune the solutions for the reality we have all co-created. Sometimes witnessing all the suffering in various bits and places and through news, documentaries, personal stories etc. make you want to simply drop everything and just cry like a baby for hours end. I experienced this recently as I had done before, and seeing others going through the same only reminds me that we can never really bring any ‘change’ with more sadness, suffering or emotional outbursts: that certainly does nothing. If anything these experiences are not meant to be judged either, but rather using them as a time to introspect what kind of situations one has allowed to be ‘piled up’ and accumulated to the point where one simply explodes when something apparently ‘bigger’ triggers it all. I’ve noticed I’ve been sighing a lot, as if there was some extra effort in doing things as well, even though I keep at everything, sometimes there’s a perceived ‘loss of meaning to doing things.’

Why would I lose a ‘meaning’ on it? Well because the focus was too ‘outwardly’ shifted instead of first ensuring I can be supporting myself, having clarity on who I am, what I stand for and as such with such inner-stability be able to direct myself in such clarity in my usual doings. The thing is that, when one allows oneself to be affected too much by what’s going on outside, one then becomes part of the drama that takes you down misery lane and it’s kind of hard to get out of it as one keeps repeating the images, the information that created the experience of hopelessness, powerlessness in the first place. First point is to not become a victim of information only and creating an experience about it, but rather understand that we become part of the pile of junk if we keep ourselves in the same gloomy self experience Guiño

 

I know this is a common point for many, specifically those that can conceive themselves as being ‘over sensitive’ about things, which doesn’t mean ‘you care more’ but simply one actually allows oneself to take what’s on the outside and ‘process it’ or ‘digest it’ as something that becomes an internal emotional experience. The world doesn’t need more sufferers, more depressed people or people that have no hope even in their own lives: world needs individuals that can see, understand the problem, that can recognize the responsibility we hold to it and from there seek to join forces with others on the same track so as to create an actual network of solutions and support, THAT is what the world needs. “God hates a coward” is the title of a song, lol,  I’d say Life hates a coward and if one is not truly willing to Stand up for Life and do all that it takes, then one becomes part of the problem, part of the ‘giving up’ ones of which the death realm is filled with, I bet.

 

 

Watch our Hangouts related to this topic!

 

 

 

Times like these are also cool to see where am I giving into other pleasures or plain laziness, where do I refuse to keep expanding myself, where have I become stagnant in my own self support and development? Am I doing enough for myself or do I then make of the world the reason for my own confusion, alienation and general ‘loss of meaning’ in everything which is another way to sugar coat a plain lack of insight and seeing direct as to what it is that I need to put my motivation back on.

 

I’ve been there many times before and it is also true that these hardly engrained patterns that I cultivated for many years won’t be wiped out overnight, it is a continuous process over years until they are no more at all, and more so to learn how to stand up from them every time, to keep doing what one has to do and keep going even if it ‘feels’ like feeding a dead horse… it’s about diligence and consistency and also as Nick Cave says: keep on pushing the sky away, to not wish to be dead and so ‘out of the mess of this world’ and going into extreme anger or apathy or general despair because all of these are only experiences, they too shall pass = they can be worked on an overcome them as we created them.

I would mostly suggest to flag point for myself whenever these experiences come up and instead of going down the memory lane of suffering and why the world is miserable, see directly: what am I resisting to do? Where am I procrastinating my change of ‘experience’ toward something in particular? If I am fed up with the state of the world, then I don’t have to make it my own ‘fedupness’ toward my own life and anything that I do in it. Again, takes some courage to see directly, and the faster the better otherwise one single ‘fall’ if not looked at for some time, can make one feel like one is dragging one’s dead body around, even while trying to act/be normal: we always know when there’s something ‘going on’ within us, and if it’s not health-related then we must know that there is something ‘up there’ that I still want to hold on to and justify one’s experience with.

In past week I came to the conclusion that there can be no real happiness in this world unless we eradicate all fear, all suffering, all hatred, all anger, all abuse in this world – no matter if you have the ‘perfect life’ with the necessary money and giving yourself some treats here and there, it is meaningless, it is shallow, it is pointless because as long as I know there is people that haven’t been ‘fortunate’ enough to have what I have, my ‘happiness’ is a self-interested experience. So, realizing this doesn’t make your life more cheerful or gleeful either, but it grounds you to see what one is focusing on/paying attention to and what one plans to do with one’s life altogether.

From my perspective, as I’ve said it many times, I will do and be with that which is the most supportive for life on Earth, no matter how ‘futile’ it might seem, how questionable sharing something in the vast sea of the internet and endless roads of information can be: I choose to contribute to the growth and support of everyone else that is willing to do the same for themselves than being part of the endless queues that want to desert out of life, which they too would have to be understood as a consequential outflow of all of us not having done enough to give everyone a decent reason to live. I decide to do this for myself and so for any other person that can benefit from it.

 

So, a clear decision is always a lifetime decision – there can be fogs at times and that is ok, it is a momentary reassessment that can take a few days, but eventually it is really so that No One can ‘pull you out of it’ unless You Decide to Walk Out of it Yourself. It is a Doing, not a Thinking.

Let’s keep walking.

 

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PS. Artwork and photograph not by me

If you want to learn how to support yourself too:

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


424. The Importance of Resolve

 

Sometimes we embark ourselves in a decision to change something about ourselves, to stop a particular abusive pattern, to align an aspect of our behavior or to cut ties with particular relationships, however what tends to happen is that we’re not entirely successful with this endeavor if we are missing a key ingredient to make it work: resolution.

 

 

This came up as I was writing on a personal matter that has ‘haunted’ me in my dreams for a long time now in relation to a specific past relationship in my past,  and I have been throughout time applying self forgiveness on the various aspects that mostly come up in dreams and I have wondered: but why is this STILL coming up? Isn’t it sufficient to have walked on this point for over seven years whenever the same comes up? And so I was looking at the word that I was missing, a clue on what I wasn’t fully considering in this process applied to this particular past relationship and the word is Resolve – and as I was reading the definition of course it clicked: I require to have an unwavering, firm, absolute stand in relation to the actual closure of this point within me in my mind and the decision of who I decide to be toward this point in my reality.

What I realized is that I had probably written a lot about it and I understand the reasons why it comes up, but it’s funny that I made it a bit something ‘more than myself’ as if it was something ‘more powerful’ or ‘sticky’ in a way that made me still dream about the same point in various ways and perceive it as something that would take ‘forever’ to let go of  or give closure too, and even speculated on why this point is ‘so strong’ which is not recommended lol, well at least it brings up further points for self forgiveness on other ideas, beliefs, perceptions as the reasons we give ourselves to make the point ‘more than us.’ However, as I was reading the definition of resolution, it all clicked, the simplicity of the solution was in fact in the word resolution: I realized that I had in fact left some kind of ‘open back door’ in my mind wherein I could still in some unconscious way ‘leave a possibility open’ for me to still hold on/cherish these memories just for the ‘benefit of it’ due to the value that I had given to that relationship specifically when it comes to the starting point of such relationship and what I believe ‘it gave me’ which was related to in this case, a perception of getting ‘acceptance’ and ‘worth’ from another, which were words I hadn’t lived as myself then.

So, what am I really missing then here which is what I will now commit to live as myself around this point? Resolution, which is giving an actual closure, having the resolve means having the firm and unwavering  stand and decision to fully let go and fully stop participating in entertaining the memories around this point, which I have actually been working on these past months since I wrote the blog on: 416. Relationships: Not about the Taste, but the Nutrients – however I do recognize that specifically on this topic, there hasn’t been like an absolute, full resolution to stop all attempts of me in my mind going back again on the subject, which even shows up in dreams at times.  This will be then a process of being fully diligent with not entertaining the same point, not ‘feeding’ it even by associating places, things, colors to that same construct of that part of my past which I’ve defined as ‘haunting’ which of course is not that it is ‘haunting me’ but rather how I have entertained it/ fed it for far too long even if the actual relationship is no longer part of my life.

I have to stand in full resolve to do this, there is no ‘middle way’ here and in a way I’ve seen this as the ‘toughest’ point thus far because it seems to ‘still be there’ no matter how much I have written about it – but I do fully see that it will take absolute discipline to stop revamping memories and experiences for my ‘personal consumption’ in a literal manner.

 

 

resolve

  verb

1  settle or find a solution to. Medicine cause (a symptom or condition) to heal or disappear.

2  a firm decision. a formal expression of opinion or intention agreed on.

3  Music cause (a discord) to pass into a concord during the course of harmonic change.

4  (resolve something into) reduce a subject or statement by mental analysis into (separate elements or a more elementary form). chiefly Chemistry separate into constituent parts or components.

5  (of something seen at a distance) turn into a different form when seen more clearly. (of optical or photographic equipment) separate or distinguish between (closely adjacent objects). technical separately distinguish (peaks in a graph or spectrum).

6  Physics analyse (a force or velocity) into components acting in particular directions.

  noun

1  firm determination.

 

 

 

ORIGIN

          Middle English (in the senses ‘dissolve, disintegrate’ and ‘solve a problem’): from Latin resolvere, from re- (expressing intensive force) + solvere ‘loosen’.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apply ‘full resolve’ to some points in my life, but those toward which I had built a ‘sentimental attachment’ then believe that I can somehow ‘leave around’ in the back of my head as if they were really ‘a part of me,’ instead of realizing that it is in those points that I keep myself ‘locked’ into aspects of myself as ‘my past’ that have no space in my current reality other than in my mind – therefore, I see that the moment that I allow myself to go into one single moment of ‘acceptance and allowance’ and/or indulgence of memories, thoughts, experiences, links to that one point in my past as memories, I reactivate the whole construct once again. Thus,

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that this point was ‘more than myself’ because it had come up over and over again and even in dreams, not realizing that even if I was writing it all out, I recognize that I am not yet living this absolute resolve to change this one point specifically in ALL dimensions, including the obvious tendency to still ‘give into’ the memory in dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not yet be fully diligent and stand in equal resolution to who I am when awake in my dreams, because I have defined in an unconscious way dreams to be the ‘last memory bastion’ wherein I could still have ‘my enjoyment’ about things, people, experiences that are no longer here in my reality – thus I realize that I have to fully let go of this false ‘enjoyment’ in dreams and realize that every moment that I indulge even in dreams around the same point, I make it part of my reality again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still ‘indulge’ into memories and experiences around this particular point in my life through dreams and even more so to want to keep sleeping whenever this point emerges in my dreams, instead of realizing that it is because I haven’t fully made  a decision to not participate in anything that has to do with this one point that the dreams occur as the obvious reflection of my suppression around it, of the denial of myself still wanting to ‘keep’ this point in my mind and believing that ‘I got it all under control’… but this is not really about ‘control’ but being willing to absolutely stop participating in memories, links, thoughts, experiences, dreams and any sort of nostalgia of the past around this particular point.

I realize that it is not that the point has ‘kept me locked’ but that I have been the one giving all of this energy and resistance to it throughout a long time and because I haven’t been absolutely living the resolution to stop it, it’s been a recurrent dream, a recurrent point in my mind-reality which of course has nothing to do with who I am here in physical reality any longer.

 

I commit myself to fully stop all thoughts, all memories, all experiences, all yearnings around this point. This is it and I’ll be the one knowing how effective I am in this stance and resolution on this point, as I realize that I am the only one that creates the haunting , not ‘the point’ itself.

 

 

So it’s interesting that in order to give resolution to something, to ‘solve it’ is to actually loosen it, to let go of it with a firm and unwavering decision to actually do so, to live that decision in every moment that I see I slack on the same point and allow myself to ‘wander’ around it again. I realize that resolution is what I require to apply within me as an absolute stance of who I decide to be if I am already now witnessing what happens when I don’t have an absolute resolve around stopping something within me. Thus, it’s a matter of absolutely just doing it, living it – but not allow just ‘bits’ here and there as that one single ‘bit’ of indulgence reactivates the whole construct once again, I make it part of myself, of my moment here which has nothing to do with myself and my reality any longer – it’s just memories that I have given fuel and importance to, that I have fed with energy to continue defining me according to ‘my past’ which doesn’t make any sense at all because this process is not about ‘fixing my past’ but changing who I am in relation to it.

 

So hereby I establish how in order to resolve something that I haven’t been ‘solving’ in an effective manner, is to check my resolution on stopping/changing or aligning myself in relation to that particular point I want to change/stop and align in my life. So simple, yet as it is said: the devil is in the details.

 

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Watch:

Desteni Movie Night – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Read:

Day 56: Letting Go of an Old Flame

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


419. Devaluation of Self

It’s fascinating that when we operate in terms of ‘values’ and we value people according to who we perceive them to be – as their amount of studies, knowledge and information and generally known success in life, we sometimes create the notion of ‘famous people’ or people that could be generally perceived as ‘more important than’ or ‘superior’ to others that we have defined as ‘plain mortals’ so to speak. I noticed that this exists within me in the form of considering that some people who I would like to invite for discussions could be ‘too famous’ to actually want to be in a live discussion with me/us.

 

Louis Vuitton Morton

 

This came up as I was sharing with others about a particular person I would like to invite to a live online discussion and even if I know I am directing myself to propose it and actually eventually create it, I noticed a sharp pain on my right leg, quite on the surface but unusual though so I got to know from the person I was talking to how this relates to one’s foundation of support, and from some older notes, the flow of expression. So what came behind the proposal to interview this individual were also aspects of self-doubt in relation to how I have valued/perceived the person to be. So I realized how I tend to create these limitations based on how I have ‘valued’ a person according to their ‘accrued interest’ on knowledge and information and so how I see myself considering it would be ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unbelievable’ or ‘out of reach’ or ‘requiring something more than what I got’ to be able to actually approach another individual to discuss topics that we for sure have in common to discuss.  But then again, how/what has in fact placed such limitation? Myself based on the perception of these individuals being already interviewed by other media and ‘professional anchors’ so in this, I actually create my own limitation because I then look at the person not for the actual purpose of having a chat with them would be, which is a point that benefits everyone in fact, but I then first pull out a point of doubt of whether ‘we are up to the height’ required for it.

So in this particular practical considerations are required. For sure it would imply that I for example, have to ensure I read up to and continue educating myself to get more background on the person and their work so that I can have that same foundation for such conversation, that’s just practical stuff that I do anyways – so what changed? Well, the idea of ‘who’ the person is, so here we go!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider person x as ‘way too unreachable for a chat’ considering that I have placed this person as an ‘important individual’ in their spheres of influence and within that ultimately believing that ‘they would not care/agree to have a chat with us’ without realizing that in this, I am in fact giving up or already going into defeat before even trying, so WTF?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I would require something ‘more’ in order to be able to invite someone for a chat, such as greater production or more publicity or else, without realizing that what I/we do is what is possible at the moment and using the means that we have at our reach and as such the simplicity of it and the use of cost-less resources does not diminish the quality of the production as the conversation in itself – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition in the belief that this individual will only accept an interview if it comes from some major media outlet, without realizing that in this I am already giving up to even actually going for it and making an invitation to the person – within this, my approach has to be equal and one as with every other person I invite and so,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inferiority toward an individual that I consider ‘unreachable’ or ‘too famous’ or ‘too prestigious’ to be part of a conversation with me/us online – in this I realize that through this perception of the person being ‘more than’ I created my own limitation toward them and so creating an experience of uncertainty of myself in relation to how that conversation would develop – without realizing that this is all only my own mind patterns and experiences that I have created throughout time toward particular people that I have considered as ‘famous’ and ‘well known’ to be ‘out of reach’ people and me considering having a discussion with them something extravagant, meaning going ‘out of reason’ of what I would consider would be ‘suitable’ for me, which is all existent as a scheme of values that I’ve placed toward myself and others, which is unacceptable as the starting point of the whole thing is actually to promote and create a more equal society.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a tinge of fear of having a discussion with someone that I had previously somewhat antagonized and in this, I realized that my previous stance toward basically everyone that did not agree with how I saw solutions should be was that of rather continuous criticism, which obviously will lead us nowhere and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear that my previous criticism and mockery toward the movement that this person stands for comes back to me in the form of the person rejecting my invitation for a live discussion – in this I realize that the actual fear is that the person could use what I previously said against me and against this renewed effort to rather work together. I realize that in this I have to first forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to criticize an individual’s work and overall movement as a non-working solution, without realizing that yes we all make mistakes and what I have learned throughout these years is precisely to not create enemies, but rather be able to find a common ground and that’s my current stance. Therefore I hereby declare that I have forgiven myself for having created antagonism toward other individuals that didn’t ‘suit’ my perceptions and ideas and plans for what I define as ‘real change,’ and now that we are coming to a common ground, it seems possible that we can in fact then advocate for the same principle, which is cool and in this ultimately it’s about me being clear on where I stand in relation to this individual and the movement he stands for itself, wherein I am willing to accept my past perceptions and mistakes and so be willing to obviously start anew as this is what we all require to do in the world: to forgive ourselves for our assumptions and judgments made toward ourselves and others in order to start from scratch and building relationships that go beyond ego or ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong,’ but rather get to work together as equals.

Ultimately in all of this, I realize how my own perceptions, beliefs and past ‘trespasses’ could create a limitation in expanding toward working and contacting people that I consider are now aligning more and more with the solutions we also advocate – and so it is absolutely necessary to stop ourselves as ego from becoming an obstacle in the development that we can in fact carry out for the betterment not only of ‘ourselves’ as individuals, but for the causes that we actually stand for – this means: principle must always override any ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose a sense of ‘not being up to the height’ of another and believing that ‘the person would not want to discuss with me’ because of me not having a particular ‘popular’ stance or reputation or believing that I would require to have some sense of ‘official recognition’ in order to be able to invite certain individuals, as if there was like this ‘scale of values’ that one would have to gather in order to do so. I realize that this limitation is absolutely something built over my own perceptions toward people based on their knowledge, their information, their careers and professions, their relationships, their leadership positions and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more weight to knowledge, information, careers, relationships with what I have defined as ‘important people’ and within this create a limitation of ‘who I would be capable and able to establish a conversation with’ based on who I perceive them to be or what I would perceive they would think if a ‘regular person’ like me asks them for an interview.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use terms like ‘being a regular person’ or a ‘mortal’ meaning a person that has no ‘laureate’ from the system or that has a specific recognition or validation at system level in relation to the topics I want to discuss, wherein I then create the usual trap of ‘not being qualified’ at the eyes of others, which is part of the problem we have co-created in our society wherein we believe that one is only ‘capable’ if you are given a ‘license’ as a permission and validation that you in fact ‘know’ about something, all part of the same system of credentials and values that exist and that yes, are required at the moment in the system – but this does not diminish someone’s ability and capacity to do the same or even more than what a person with a license has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others would only accept or consider me to be reliable if I had some sort of recognition ‘out in the system’ so that a person then would not reject an interview with me – and within this I forgive myself that I have actually accepted and allowed myself to assume what a person would ‘expect of me’ or the kind of ‘licenses’ they would expect me to have or the amount of knowledge that ‘they would want me to have’ in order to have a conversation with them, which is all, once again, speculation and ideas based on how I have seen for example the academic world operates in hierarchical levels wherein for example teachers and their apprentices are seen as ‘more than’ any other individual in the same institution.

This actually comes from my own experiences of imposing a superior value to people in academia in fact, people that I have considered as ‘too way up in the academic world’ and that I’ve perceived that everyone reveres to them, and that they are ‘not up for just any regular chat’ which I then realized it was false once that I got to know ‘important people’ that one would see on TV or in high academic circles and at the same time seeing them in their regular life just like any other ‘mortal’ therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having carried this idea of some people being ‘holier than thou’ based on my perception of the person being ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ or having some kind of ‘important academic position’ or being ‘an artist’ or else, who are all the individuals that I placed as ‘more than myself’ including politicians of course and probably kings just because of the whole propaganda and brainwashing that is created based on the amount of ‘importance’ we believe we must give certain individuals and ‘feel’ different toward them as well, instead of realizing we are in fact equals and no amount of knowledge and information should make anyone ‘holier’ than another as it’s all based on mind values, on knowledge and information and yes, we are ultimately all made of flesh and bones and are all mortals in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever learn from my family how to behave with ‘well known individuals’ and politics and people that I have considered as ‘rich’ and ‘very important people’ – apparently – that I kind of learned that I should revere in a way, and act even more service-like which is absolutely – excuse the word – fucked up. I realize that this comes from me witnessing how my family would revere to politicians whenever they would come to parties and kind of even change their stance to appear more service-like and ‘affable’ and ‘giving them the keys to their house’ so to speak, as if these individuals were ‘more’ than any other guest in the house. This comes of course from the imposition of value/power/authority and even ‘fame’ and recognition to particular individuals based on the position that they have in society for example – therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should get even ‘nervous’ or up to the expectation of having someone ‘popular’ or ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ talking with me because of imposing the same experiences that I got from witnessing my family and how they would behave with ‘important people’ like artists or politicians and within this, copy the exact same experience that I would perceive others would have around these people, which was that of excitement, nervousness and wanting everything to be ‘top notch’ FOR THEM, which is the whole ‘service-like’ attitude that I learned one ‘should have’ when dealing with someone that is considered famous, more important or – god, dare I say – more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still see a person that is ‘well known’ through the eyes of knowledge and information, through the eyes of the mind wherein I see a person based on the amount of recognition, fame, perceived authority based on the position they occupy or else and within this forget about equality because I still place this veil of ‘importance’ over others, which is of course unacceptable as I realize that we are all in fact one and equal and that we have in fact consolidated and continued to accept the current status quo based on this mind-hierarchy that we act out almost ‘by default’ toward perceived important/famous people, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see some of those ‘famous individuals’ as ‘more than myself’ and this comes from the time when I would approach any artist for example and request their autograph as a child and how excited I would get from these experiences, because I learned that people that were on TV then ‘were more famous than’ anyone else therefore associating value with ‘being on TV’ or any other ‘well known position,’ which implies immediately placing myself as ‘not up to that height’ so to speak – but really, all of these ideas of importance, height, prestige, fame, recognition are all values that I have associated with a ‘superiority’ instead of realizing that they are in fact words that denote the actual work and life experience as well as trajectory that an individual or group of individuals have crated throughout their life to get to certain positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive and superiority value to the word ‘prestige’ wherein the fact that someone can be well known, respected and has achieved quite a lot in their life becomes an ‘added value’ in my perception and thus placing myself as ‘less than’ them based on such achievements, which I realize is a point of self-separation when one identifies oneself or another based on the amount of knowledge and information they have or ‘how’ other individuals perceive them, which is all seen through the mind’s eye.

 

Instead prestige is simply recognizing the well-known work and recognition of an individual’s life experience and contributions wherein their work  and their deeds speak by themselves and as such widespread recognition and respect is an outflow of their life, their work and contributions being supportive for others as well, which is definitely what we should all direct ourselves to aim at being and becoming in our lives, to leave our lifetime of supporting to create a world that is best for all, and so live self-respect, which means that someone’s work and recognition becomes their own life and what they say/do and act on, which is nothing more or nothing less than life, it is simply an example that we can learn from and so also see as the potential that exists within each one of us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘fame’ with an experience of superiority and ‘more than’ others comparison, instead of realizing that fame as being known or being excellent in something is not an ‘added value’ to another individual, but simply what they have achieved through their own direction and creation – whether it is for ‘good fame’ or ‘bad fame’ it is simply the general perception of ‘who another is’ based on their words and actions. Therefore, there is no need to add an experience to fame or who am I toward perceived ‘famous people’ because it is simply recognizing another’s life, trajectory, expertise and/or mastering in certain fields as yet another example of what we can do and become if we are equally diligent in the work and dedication to achieve something, which is a general trait that ‘famous people’ get to do, whether it is for constructive or destructive outcomes.

Of course the way to live fame a constructive type of fame is to become well known by one’s living example of being a solution to the world instead of a destructive role model for sure, so in that our own perceived ‘values’ over one another would have to veer toward valuing as in recognizing another individual as an example of our own potential based on how one lives by principles that recognize our equality and that consider at all times what is best for all.

Therefore, it is not to see these words of prestige, fame, recognition as a synonym of ‘superiority’ at all, but rather seeing them as the result and consolidation of their names as public figures based on the actual work they do, based on how they have contributed to the common good, which is ultimately someone that I can definitely say is respectable and for sure someone that should be recognized by all people for what they’ve done/ achieved in their lifetime. This is then the physical living and work talking for itself, which doesn’t make the person ‘more’ than another either, but simply realizing that yes they have done the actual work, they have done the actual walking of a particular point that took them to be in a certain position that they are in the world system.

 

 

 

It is interesting how even culturally we learn how to create a particular excitement or even fear when being around a particular ‘famous person,’ as if they were in fact having this ‘divine aura’ around them which doesn’t make sense as they are just humans too. Sure, one can have a particular fondness toward another individual but ultimately any person that does believe that they are ‘superior’ to others based on their fame, their work, their knowledge and information, their lifetime experience is in fact then acting from ego, and as such it is for sure their point to ultimately realize. But here, my point of self-responsibility is to ensure that I am not the one that is coming from/approaching another based on these value-systems that have led us to continue stratifying our society – this is unacceptable.

So, the corrective process is that when and as I see myself going into any slight refraction of a doubt when it comes to my ability and capability of approaching a person that I have defined as ‘important’ or ‘well known’ I make sure I identify what is it exactly that is creating the shift so that I can see what fear or what expectation came up that created such experience, and so I bring myself to the awareness that we are all human beings and there is no one ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ and so I should not place my mind’s eye as the ones to decide ‘who I am’ toward another or jumping into conclusions of ‘what the other people would ask of me’ but rather ensure that my decision to approach another is based on first of all, equality, support and the openness to dialogue and work together within the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I have to ensure that I do not use my past and my past experiences as a limitation toward approaching people or my fears/excitements or general ideas of ‘superior people’ as a veil for me to not act in common sense which means: being my own foundation and structure to give myself direction to do something based on the assessment of my ability and capability to do so.

In this, ‘who’ the other person is becomes irrelevant which means, my perception upon them is not to be used as a determining factor for it – this is about me assessing the benefit of such conversation, the potential supportive outcome of it that is best for all parts. Within this, is also necessary and quite valid to make a personal assessment of where I would require to sharpen up my studies and my review of information in order to be ‘up to date’ with what we could discuss in a conversation, but this does not mean that it’s also going to be some kind of ‘duel’ of knowledge and information either, because the starting point of this is precisely to share what each person gets to know of, understand and/or create as solutions that we can all share and learn from. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would have to be at certain level of ‘knowledge and info’ to be ‘ready’ to talk with another, which in a way it does make sense to be prepared but not to the level of ‘wanting to know it all’ already, otherwise, what would be the point of having a conversation with another if not to learn more from each other and so strengthen ourselves equally.

 

I realize that this is also the influence of the current debate programs and interview TV shows wherein some of the interviewers challenge the person they interview sometimes to the point of ‘who knows more’ or ‘who can win’ which is the whole ‘debating’ aspect that is actually detrimental to the public watching because we then recreate the notion that someone has to be absolutely right and others absolutely wrong or dismissed – instead of realizing that a conversation with people that I have not so much previous contact with should be about having them share their perspectives, learn and take what’s best as well as learn how to listen to the points that I might not agree with, however by creating an antagonism only on that we create further rifts and problems where the actual common ground can be dismissed, which is not cool, not acceptable in a world wherein it’s easier to wage wars than creating dialogues to establish ‘peace’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive people that have written out books or published an exorbitant amount of words as ‘more than myself’ and within this, realizing that if the starting point is placing ‘who am I’ as an individual against another individual, ego will always create a barrier and prevent me from actually expanding and rather learning from others. In this thus, I realize that I have to ensure that my own limitations carried from the past ‘learned inferiority’ toward certain individuals doesn’t become an obstacle to me actually stretching out hands and creating contact with people that I had regarded as ‘more’ than myself, and to always realize that whenever I see anyone as ‘more than myself’ I become the very continuation of the problem I am  trying to resolve which is inequality, which is the continuation of hierarchical values and the notion of ‘power’ and superiority embedded onto something/someone above ‘the rest.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up at ‘first try’ after contacting certain individuals, without realizing that my approach was still coming from this already ‘made up expectation’ of ‘they won’t accept/ they won’t even reply’ or else, which is then what happened and then became a form of ‘defeatism’ in terms of trying to approach certain individuals.

In this thus my sole responsibility is to ensure that I realize that it’s not ‘me’ that is asking for that interview, it’s about me as the principle and foundation I stand for and as with the purpose of learning from others, of sharing supportive outcomes for humanity that is asking for such interview – therefore I do not have to place myself as ‘my persona’ before me when doing my job which is to establish connections and communication with people no matter ‘who’ it is.

In this, I realize this is the point to apply, a practical equality toward people and stopping my mind’s view upon others based on ‘who’ I perceive they are, and instead I commit myself to focus on their words, their work, their visible and practical solutions and contributions to society, which is what I am interested as a person that represents an organization that stands for the principle of what is best for all life.  In this I have to also recognize myself and to not ‘devalue’ me based on the perceived ‘validations’ I would require to ‘make me/my words/what I stand for’ as ‘valid’ or ‘recognizable’ in the world system, as I realize that there is currently no such ‘validation’ and due importance given to the consideration and realization of life in equality, of supporting one another, of truly working together for best for all outcomes and so , how can I expect me/us to have such ‘recognition’ in a world that recognizes and places fame on the exact opposite?

There’s no visible honoring toward life yet so we have to build it from scratch so I commit myself to stop expecting some form of ‘validation’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘credits’ in order to give further steps of expansion within myself and my process of communicating with others – and instead rather recognize that it is our own work, our own consistency and dedication that which makes us valuable as the principles that we stand and live by – ultimately that’s just the value of life for life and that’s rather what I decide to dedicate myself to honor, to honor life not world-system credentials and ‘values’ placed in separation of who we really are as equals, which is also what’s worth while supporting and sharing with others.

 

I commit myself to imposing money-talk to others too wherein I value others based on ideas related to energy and money, which is not who we really are and so I rather develop a communication based on living principles where equality stands as our undeniable common ground to work on.

 

All Life Is Equal

 

Read people recognizing Life in Equality in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

 


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