Category Archives: Desteni

565. Comfort in Expression

Or looking back at my expression towards others before and where I’m at currently with it thanks to the Desteni Process 

One of the benefits of walking this process is the ability to realize to what extent our relationship to something or someone ‘outside of ourselves’ is entirely dependent on the kind of ‘self-work’ that one has walked. For example upon meeting new people or getting to be in contact with someone I met quite a few years ago for the first time, I saw how comfortable I was in the whole situation and I looked at the point of taking this ‘comfort’ for granted or in a way kind of ‘forgetting about the process’ that I’ve walked to get to this point of what I can define as ‘relatability’ towards other people, whereas before I definitely was the kind of person that would first analyze all the knots and bolts of the person and carefully assess ‘who I should be’ in relation to them and start molding or acting (manipulating myself) accordingly, usually in an attempt to be liked, accepted by them or sometimes to actually ‘shut down’ all forms of possible interaction, which I definitely had done in the past towards certain people as well in my ‘pickiness’ towards others.

I looked at how through understanding and walking the process of self-acceptance, self-expression, taking judgments back to myself and learning to consider others I’ve been able to be quite comfortable in what I deem would have otherwise been a somewhat ‘uncomfortable’ situation in the past, as in being too ‘unpredictable’ to the point where I have no ‘control’ over it and therefore being caught up in a series of fears and ‘what ifs.’ And that’s how I realized that this is not the case ‘this time around’ in my life and I even check myself to see if I am suppressing something or if I am kind of putting up a front or something but nope, there’s no ‘noise’ within me as I would call it, which I would have definitely experienced many times before when interacting with people in a close manner.

That’s how I got to see that through me having been working – and still continue to do so – with my judgments, ideas, beliefs, personalities, characters, suppressions, expressions and essentially ‘everything’ that I had lived as ‘me’ in the past and working on redefining and living the version of myself that I want to be, I’ve been able to definitely change the way that I relate to others and that it definitely stands as the person that in a way I always wanted to be, but I had ‘clogged’ that with a lot of patterns, fears, limitations before, which are all the points that I’ve been walking through these nine years of walking the Desteni Process.

I have simplified and made things like new relationships so much easier in my life, because there are no fears in the background or ‘noise’ related to judgments and even if they appear, I write them out, see them for what they are, establish who I decide to be instead of ‘judgments’ and live the expression, test it out and then see, ah it works! And keep walking to rather focus on living that which is here, it’s me expressing, comfortable, embracing yet continuing to observe myself in relation to other people and being aware of which other points I can look at, change, open up and also communicate to cross-reference my own experience.

I know this might sound a bit abstract for some, but it all has to do with the continued application of the Desteni tools of writing, developing self-honesty, giving myself the gift of self-forgiveness and the actual ‘second chance’ to live life in a different manner through establishing living words.  I’ve been able to see how cool and beneficial it’s been to be working on all the ‘nitty-gritty’ details of myself in order to pave the way for points of self-creation that I can face and work on now with relative ease.

I don’t want to make it all sound ‘too simple’ because what I am currently living and sharing is more like the result of several years of self-dedicated personal investigation, exploration, trial and error situations that I’ve actually learned a lot from and that I am very grateful for, because otherwise I would not be where I am ‘at’ right now.

In any case I share this as well for anyone that may experience walking this process as something that seems to have ‘no end’ or where one cannot get to ‘taste the fruits of the labor’ just yet, and I can say that yes it takes time, it’s not easy at first, it’s very challenging at times in terms of fears, emotions and the rest of ‘growing pains’ that come with it. But one thing is certain: one does get to see the results and reap what one has sown. This is nothing else but action and reactions, cause and consequence, input and output mechanics of this process which is also why I want to share how all the dedication, the consistency, the perseverance, the discipline and self-work that one inputs on oneself is a substantiation process that one may not immediately see in terms of ‘big changes’ right away; as with everything, it is a process and it takes time to even have a point of reference to ‘look back’ and see how one has in fact changed here and there.

I’m quite satisfied with myself at the moment in relation to that ability to be comfortable, stable, embracing regardless of ‘others’ or ‘the contexts’ and at the same time continuing to expand upon meeting new people or establishing new relationships, whereas I can see how ‘tortuous’ that was for me in the past. All I can say is that this comfort, ease and enjoyment is the way I’d definitely would like every person to be able to experience life and themselves as, because it’s so much simpler and even enjoyable. Though, of course, we cannot ‘jump right into the self-perfected version’, it’s all a process and that’s got a great reason for it as well: to understand and so take responsibility on how we created our limitations, our fears, our ‘flaws’ and the rest of obstacles for our self-expression in order to get to see and practice living in a different way, creating different habits and patterns instead the ones that we had been deterred by before.

I am also aware that I would not be the kind of person that would say ‘I’m quite satisfied with myself’ before, because of considering that it sounds a bit too self-glorifying, but I’ve also learned to appreciate and recognize myself, my own process walked here and being ok with sharing more of the practical results than only the problems, which I sure will continue to share as they emerge in my life experience. But for now this is a self-appreciation note and an encouragement for anyone that might be reading this and might be caught up in a very emotional or turbulent time in their lives where it all seems like having ‘no way out’ or being about to ‘give up’ on yourselves. Hold on, there is a way through, keep at it, be consistent, don’t allow your fears to deter you, push through it and you will eventually see the benefits of developing that self-will to keep walking this process and continuing expanding and developing self-honesty. As it has been said many times, it isn’t easy, nice, fun, pretty or beautiful at first, but what emerges from that ‘gruesome’ process is definitely worth-living completely.

What comes next though is expanding my ability to continue sharing more of this process and assisting every other person I can to get to realize this for themselves as well, so if you’re interested, check out the Desteni Process, it’s the best life investment you can ever give to yourself.

Thanks for reading.  

 

Relatability

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


549. Being Physical

Or how to embrace the potential of who we are in our physical body through stopping the participation in our mind’s noise

Continuing from 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

This is the last word that I listed in the blog cited above wherein I started looking at all of the words I had separated myself from and instead approach them seeing ‘who I am’ in relation to all of these words. So far I’ve seen where I have lived words mostly through energy/through the mind or personality systems and instead learning how to substantiate myself with a redefined version of the word, sometimes I’ve been opening up aspects of a word I haven’t lived yet, sometimes realizing how I have in fact been living those words, just not in the energy-based type of experience I perceived that other person to be living out, some other times fine-tuning the meaning of the words in relation to self-support. Overall it has been an enjoyable process of self-discovery and this last word is definitely a key one for me as well.

 

I’ve seen throughout my life as a woman how there has been this tendency to look at males as a source and embodiment of physical stability, being grounded, being solid and structural that I, defined as a woman, perceive myself to lack, wherein I can many times feel that my expression makes me wobbly and that I might be experiencing ‘waves’ within myself while a male seems to be very solid, at peace, quiet and ‘whole’ in their physical bodies. Now this is also not ‘every male’ to be honest, but some males I’ve seen wherein this is something that I can perceive it in how they act, speak, direct and exist from a moment to moment.

 

However, here I have to remind myself how all of this that I am describing is in fact coming from me and my own experiences in relation to this perception of someone ‘being physical,’ because! What I’ve also discovered through actually getting to know males specifically – I’ve seen how this can be more of a portrayal of a controlled-expression founded in suppression, wherein any form of ‘expressiveness’ is linked to ‘being feminine’ therefore ‘weak’ and therefore culturally being associated with a ‘lesser’ experience which is the kind of gender-based crap – sorry for the word but it is what it is – that we’ve collectively accepted and allowed, starting with my perception that it is only males that can be fully physical, structural, grounded and that I as a woman cannot ever  become that.

 

Sure, there are structural and multiple-dimensions to a man and a woman that of course create such distinction based on being one or the other – these I cannot change nor ‘rewire’ myself to ‘be like a man’ because that’s not the point here, but I’m looking at how I can integrate the ability to be physical and debunk that perception of stability, being ‘rock solid’ that many times is only a show for others while in fact, in the inside, one can be very anxious or fearful or experiencing anger that creates such ‘solidity’ more coming through as a tension in itself, etc. So, here it is about not validating appearances or how I can ‘present’ myself towards others, but instead how I can take the word and make it a reality, a substantiation process for me.

 

Being in the physical/being physical is something one hears a lot in this Desteni process where it is about learning to see the relationship that our mind-states have to our physical-bodies and the effect it has upon our body. Therefore part of this process is learning to change the way that we participate in our minds, to be directive in it and stopping the participation in energetic reactions that lead oneself to go into any high or low experience in our bodies.

 

This is definitely something that I can say to a certain extent I’ve been able to work with, which doesn’t mean that experiences don’t come up at all anymore – they absolutely do, and I have been quite aware of how I can ‘layer’ an energetic imprint into my body over repetition, meaning repeating the same fears or emotions in relation to something or someone over time to the point that they get triggered by a simple thought I may have related to that something or someone I’ve attached all of these fears or reactions to, and voilà, there one has a seemingly overwhelming experience that I have created all the way through my own participation in it.

 

This is an empowering realization as well because I am no longer perceiving that these energetic experiences swirling in my solar plexus area are just coming by themselves or get triggered out of ‘nowhere,’ nope, we are the creators of it all the way and fortunately here we have the tools and ways to walk through these reactions in order to embrace our physicality which to me means being in the physical body, breathing, not participating in useless thoughts that lead to fears, reactions, expectations, judgments, opinions, and the rest of things that create a separation towards reality, which then causes us to live more ‘in our minds’ than actually embracing and existing as the physicality of our body, standing equal to everyone and everything in our reality. This is much easier said than done of course.

 

As one gets more in depth into one’s awareness, one can get to see how much we are in fact constantly assessing, judging, constantly having an opinion, a preference about something or someone, how many fears we might be participating on in an underlying manner, how many of our actions are motivated by fears or desires, how much we are constantly living in the past or the future – and the list goes on.

 

So, I am aware of how this might seem overwhelming at first, but the reality here is that we have the actual choice and ability to decide to continue living as these ‘broken records’ with all of those experiences being detonated within ourselves over and over again or, we decide to learn how to stop participation in them through understanding the root and cause of our experiences, which is in essence one of the foundations of walking this Desteni Process and something I’ve been practicing for nine years now, resulting in a great point of self-support for me to the extent that I sometimes get to forget how anxious, how fearful, how insecure or how ‘all over the place’ I once was, and this is also more easily said than done, because it does take dedication, diligence, patience, practice and perseverance to get to a point of physical stability as well, though it is of course completely worth it.

 

So that’s the point for me to look at here, physical stability which interestingly enough I can link it to being at peace within myself which comes through a process of ‘sorting out’ and creating solutions to whatever I am experiencing – therefore being physical, being grounded, being rooted, being anchored, being clear-headed when moving in my reality, when making decisions, when interacting with others becomes a reality.

 

Interestingly enough I’ve been able to improve my ability to ground myself back into the physical in relation to emotions, considering that was one of the ‘biggie’ points in my reality, though I consider I haven’t been as diligent in terms of grounding myself whenever I see that I am ‘elevating’ myself or getting ‘high’ in a particular perceived ‘good’ or positive experience, which interestingly enough I also refrained myself from even opening up because I had considered I didn’t have many of those or was ‘ok’ around that kind of situations. But lately I’ve seen how I can get carried away in moments where I perceive there’s an opening of expression with others and that’s where I’ve usually gone into the comparison – specially with some males – about this whole ‘me the wobbly expressive one’ vs. the sturdy ‘physical’ male, at least as an initial perception.

 

Here I’d like to focus on being physical and rooting myself whenever I am getting ‘carried away’ in a point of interaction with others and suddenly ‘lose my footing’ which involves getting into an energetic high of sorts, that may come through something as talking too much, being louder, laughing a lot and starting to get a jittery sensation in my body. I’ve explained how any energetic experience is not cool for my body, it’s ‘icky’ and sometimes headaches ensue or any other physical discomfort due to the load of ‘stimulation’ I create for myself, so here I’ll walk some self-supportive self-forgiveness to ground these points for myself.

 

I forgive  myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in comparison towards males that I have perceived as solid, stable, peaceful, mild-mannered or ‘refined’ even in their behavior wherein I have seen myself being ‘in awe’ towards such expression, perceiving that I cannot be like that because I tend to be more ‘bubbly’ and so feel ‘wobbly’ within myself, which is an energetic experience in me, therefore I realize that in order to be physical, I have to ground myself back to my body whenever I am first reacting to and comparing myself to males specifically that I’ve defined as ‘peaceful, solid, stable’ and ‘physical’ wherein I’ve created a sense of inferiority towards that which I see only exists as an idea, belief and gender-based experience I’ve separated myself from, because I’ve seen for myself how I can in fact be more stable, grounded, solid and peaceful once that I stop participating in any form of judgment, reaction, opinion, expectation, comparison or belief about myself or about others that invariably leads to a polarity-experience within me towards others, which is the actual cause and source of me going into this ‘high’ or instability.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live equality towards males that I’ve defined as rock solid, physical, stable,  grounded at least from how I perceive them and instead have gone into an inferiority – or in-fear-iority towards them – instead of realizing that I can integrate those words to be lived by myself when in the presence of people that I may perceive as solid, peaceful, stable and physical and being males specifically wherein instead of going into the ‘inferiority’ or perceiving a ‘lack’ within me in relation to how they express themselves, I can remind myself I can live the word physicality as a focus on breathing, on seeing the other person as an equal, on realizing that whatever idea, belief or perception I might create about them being ‘more’ than me exists only as a belief and perception in my mind. It’s not at all about ‘them’ even, but how I’ve programmed myself to react to these words and expressions in separation of myself, therefore

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live the words physicality, solidity, stability, grounded and peaceful within me in all contexts, specifically when being interacting/ face to face with people or males that I can perceive as rock solid, immovable, ‘untouchable’ even and perceiving such state of being is ‘unreachable’ for me, instead of seeing that it is actually very much existent already here within and as myself, as my physical body in every moment of breath that I decide to take on and be aware of, and stop participating in whatever idea, belief or perception I may create towards others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate from the experience I’ve seen in cats and perceiving myself more as the playful dog in awe of the stoic cat – lol – where I have also defined my enjoyment and appreciation for cats based on their firm, slow, quiet, stable, precise expression that I’ve also seen as very much being ‘independent’ and all of these being words that I’ve believed I can’t ‘live’ for and as myself, but instead would usually be drawn to or be attracted to people that I perceived to be this way – where I also have to remind myself to not trust my perceptions or what I may ‘pick up’ in another’s expression, because all of it is coming from myself, my frames of reference, my experiences, my perceptions and in no way does this imply that there is a reality to it – because I cannot really be in someone else’s shoes other than through getting to know them and communicate with another to see who they really are behind their presentation and façade and what they are in fact experiencing.

 

Therefore I can only focus on myself and living this word as an expression of me wherein I don’t go making assumptions about others or focusing on others’ experiences and then compare who I am in relation to them, but where I can look at practically practicing being physical in moments where I am tending to go into a comparison of being ‘more or less than’ another in a moment, or where I get nervous in the presence of another seemingly being very stable, at ease and peace with themselves and perceiving that I am ‘at loss’ or ‘in fear’ of that, which creates the unsettling nervousness towards another,

Instead I can remind myself that I can live that solidity, that consistency, that stability and grounded expression whenever I allow myself to take one step back in those moments and simply not jump into the ‘train of thought’ but remain grounded, breathing and learn to observe, to hear another’s words, to slow down within myself so that I can in fact stand equal to my body and therefore as everyone else’s physicality that can be present or around me in a particular moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the belief and experience of feeling unnerved when being in the presence of particular males that I’ve defined as stable, solid, grounded and ‘earthed’ ultimately, believing that they are in control in themselves – and I am not – lol which is in fact an interesting thing to do because if I focus entirely on myself, usually who I am before seeing ‘the other person’ as a trigger point I can be quite calm, stable, solid within me and it’s only upon me participating in an assessment of another person and judging them as ‘superior’ due to appearing grounded, physical, stable and at peace within themselves, that I get into an unnerving experience, I start feeling ‘weak’ and clumsy or extra-expressive at times and this is mostly a reaction, again referencing the playful barking all-over-the-place dog that is jumping around the stoic cat that doesn’t seem to flinch at the dog’s expression. 

 

This is all of course still my perception of the cat being ‘less expressive’ or something like that, I cannot really know what their actual experience is, but I take the visual reference for me to realize I can also practice slowing down within me by not going into an ‘assessment’ of the other person or participating in judgments of how I ‘perceive’ them, but instead focus on myself, not on others, on being stable, grounded, calm, at peace within me when interacting with others, and stopping my judgments towards them.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself being ‘at loss’ upon facing and interacting with someone that seems stable, physical, present, calm, at peace within themselves to me, which I can simply use as a reminder to precisely take those words back to myself, to live them in equality – not based on ego, not based on ‘suppressing’ myself or putting up a ‘superior’ front anymore – but based on my ability to breathe through the swelling of energies, to be able to stabilize through becoming aware of the totality of my physical body and so focusing on myself and others at a physical level, who we are as equal beings, who we are in our words, stopping the usual ‘reaction’ within me of ‘compensating’ my perception of being unable to be ‘grounded and stable’ by becoming overtly expressive and instead allow me to be observant, to be calm, to slow down within myself, to focus on my breathing to remind myself of the physicality I also am and take things easily.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to separate myself from the word ‘physicality’ or ‘being physical’ as in being stable, grounded, consistent and defining it as something ‘superior’ to myself, which is only me as the mind perceiving that such words are ‘unreachable’ for me – when in reality they are here already existent in potential within me, I simply have to stop focusing on the ‘superior and inferior’ assessments and focus on the physicality of myself and others in any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still unconsciously allow the experience of myself being defined by gender – as in being a woman – and bring through experiences linked to perceiving a male as ‘superior’ to me, wherein I then separate myself from our living-equality and tap into the design, the programming and gender-based roles that we’ve lived for our entire human history.

 

I realize that this is indeed a set of patterns that have been ingrained beyond my awareness, however now that I am aware of it and I understand where this ‘inequality’ between genders comes from, I can assist myself to integrate and embody the words that I had perceived only ‘males’ could live in a natural manner for themselves – such as physicality, stability, grounded, structural, being at peace which are all words I can integrate and live as myself as well, which in turn will assist me in diffusing this gender-based perception I’ve lived out throughout my entire life without having questioned it to this level and specificity before, due to believing that ‘it’s just how things are set-up’ and not going any further than that.

 

Now I realize it’s entirely up to us to see what we accept and allow as limitations, as self-definitions and any other form of polarity that a difference in our physical bodies as human beings – being males and females – has contributed to create within ourselves, while in fact I realize I can live those aspects that I’ve seen mostly in males and integrate them within myself at a being level, beyond being a human physical body defined by a gender – without me falling into the trap of wanting to ‘be like a man’ – it’s not the point either – it’s about being a woman that is no longer separate from the potentials and capabilities of men and women to integrate into my life if I see them as supportive aspects or words to embody and live in my life.

 

For now this is the point I’ll focus on and what’s coming up for me in relation to physicality, but this is by no means the only extent of this word that I’ll be looking at, considering how this is only one aspect, one layer I’m focusing on changing or fine tuning within me, but this word ultimately relates to this whole process from consciousness to life in self-awareness, to living life in the physical, to birthing life in the physical and as one can see it is not as easy as simply ‘stating it,’ but one has to actually go through the ‘deprogramming’ and ‘reprogramming/rewiring’ process through living words and creating new sets of acceptances and allowances to live words that are supportive, that we can develop ourselves further with and in turn this becomes a way to expand in our lives, as life, and continue working on it until it is done.

 

Check out the series Quantum Mind Self Awareness to learn more about the interrelationship of our minds with our physical body

 

Thanks for reading

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


539. Taking Life Seriously

 

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

A particular trait that I had also defined as ‘superior’ was the expression of seriousness within people linked to a particular intellectual character wherein both points – the characterization or ‘portrayal’ at a physical manner level plus all the ‘right words’ would usually lead me to feel intimidated or perceiving that I was ‘less than’ people that would present themselves as very articulate, stoic in their expression and most of all serious in their expression or communication, perceiving that this seriousness was something that I lacked – apparently – and that I would therefore only get to admire in others for the rest of my life.

Over the years of walking the Desteni Process, I’ve been able to slowly but surely debunk my own perceptions around this seriousness wherein I myself have embodied such seriousness as a way to cause a certain impact upon people in an attempt to say: look, I mean this for real, I care for this – which would at the same time then be more of a ‘show’ for others in my expression than me living seriousness in a supportive manner, and this I explain in a certain perspective in a vlog I made today here.

Here I want to check where I am in relation to this ‘seriousness’ and aligning it to what I want to live as an expression of ‘taking life seriously’ which doesn’t mean I have to keep a straight face all the time or act in a rigid and in a controlled manner, appear stoic and ‘motion-less’ or be overtly intellectual to be perceived by others as ‘me being a serious person.’ It is interesting how the definition of seriousness is mostly linked to this rigid expression which of course myself as a female, it became easy to associate this ‘seriousness’ mostly with males, which I have linked to a form of ‘physicality’ (which I’ll open up in a blog to come, a stability, confidence, grounding experience which I had separated myself from based on comparing my expression to that of males mostly, considering my bubbly and ‘flowy’ expression at times as a form of  weakness instead of simply embracing it as a part of my expression, no more or less than any other – so here again exposing the problem of going into comparison leading to an inevitable polarity of ‘more or less than’ which recreates consciousness-speak.  

So, here what I separated myself from is again a mind-experience related to ‘seriousness,’ a set of characteristics that are portrayed as a personality, a façade, a way of behaving or presenting oneself towards others, instead of actually living the word seriousness.

What does ‘taking life seriously’ mean to me? Essentially comprehending the role that each one of us have as creators of this reality and acting accordingly, which implies taking responsibility for our lives in our mind, being and body, learning to and applying ourselves to correct every aspect of our lives that we are the creators of and understand then the relevance each one of us has in this process of birthing life from the physical, in other words: taking seriously our role as ‘gods’ of our creation.

Here I want to specify how I’ve observed this within myself and other people that I’ve come to be in close contact with throughout my life wherein I would be intimidated or ‘in awe’ of certain people presenting themselves in this ‘serious’ character, yet when it comes to actually ‘walking the talk’ as in living the seriousness and intellect they might have had into a supportive manner, there was still quite a threshold and I could observe this within myself as well where I became more of a ‘show for others’ than fully grasping the actual capacity I had to live what I was preaching to the T and so genuinely take life seriously.

This assists me to debunk my own perceptions about what I’ve defined in me as a lack of ‘seriousness’ and instead now realize that I can assess for myself according to how I’ve lived, the decisions I’ve made and what I’ve committed myself to in order to define whether I am taking life seriously or not. I can self-honestly say yes based on the self-commitment I have, not to the utmost potential of ‘taking life seriously’ yet though, but I have a direction and set of ways to continue doing my part in whichever way I can to contribute to this living process from consciousness to self awareness as life.

I can therefore say that I have yet to fully embody taking my life seriously, but I understand and have walked in a consistent manner this practical learning process called life in self-awareness  of us being the creators of our lives, all of us being responsible for every action and consequence that has shaped our lives and that of others – understanding the scope of this existential process and at the same time understanding our role in it all.

Taking life seriously means participating in this process, being a life-birther so to speak not only in thoughts or eloquent speeches, but in who we are in our day to day actions, decisions, choices, ways of living, behaving, the kind of relationships we form with people, the kind of life we lead towards others and in our very own ‘secret mind’ – all of this is what reveals how serious we are with our own life and so life itself.

And because I cannot really ever measure or judge anyone as being serious or not about life, I can only live and do that for myself in my own life, and that’s what I commit to do, so that whenever I see I am being lax about the effect of my thoughts, words and actions in the constant and continuous process of co-creation in this reality, I have to ground myself back into taking life seriously and reminding myself that nothing that I participate for is ‘unaccounted for’ or ‘forgotten’ or ‘erased’ from the physical memory in this reality.

We have been existing into a seemingly ‘comfortable’ tunnel vision to understand the actual immediate co-creative abilities we have onto our reality with our very thoughts, words and deeds and their consequences of course as the proof of that, no matter how we may justify them or ‘paint’ them, we are all equal co-creators in this – yet, each one of us has the ability to decide what kind of creation process one gives life to, and the level of self-awareness that we have the potential to exist as vs. the level of awareness we ‘choose’ to blind ourselves with from our individual and collective responsibility to the whole.

So, here I commit to remind myself to not be impressed or intimidated by a personality that looks and sounds serious, eloquent, precise, meticulous, common sensical yet intellectual in nature, because this is where I need to always remind myself that as simple as it might sound: talk is cheap, words are ‘easy to say,’ they are ultimately just words, speeches – but Living Words is a whole different story. What we need is people actually living what we preach and this applies not only as an external ‘role’ or ‘profession’ for the world out there, but actually being so in one’s day to day.

Therefore, the point here is for me to be an example of what it means to take life seriously in my every thought, word and deed, wherein I commit to do what I set myself to be and do in the name of what’s best for all, where my life can stand as a testimony of what it means to ‘be the change you want to see in this world’ and do so without having to resort to the usual traits and personalities that may use ‘seriousness’ as a way to portray a form of superiority or ‘authority’ which many times – if not most – are not congruent in terms of ‘personal’ and ‘professional’ life.

That’s the divide I want to break here in my own life where I am not just someone that divides life and work in order to be ‘two separate beings’ that can take life seriously and not at the same time – no matter ‘what’ I do and where I am in the system, I commit myself to taking life seriously as in not being lax to my own application of self-correction and living expansion, and to honor that commitment through every decision I make in my life, which translates into living integrity and self-respect as creators of our lives= as within, so without.

That’s the kind of individuals that I’d like us all to become and debunk for once and for all the external facades of ‘care towards life’ that are not genuinely honored in the nature of who we are as individuals, becoming ‘cheap talk’ with no substance at all – and this is what I am here challenging within myself, to stick to my truth, to live my words, to practice what I preach in my living reality on a day to day basis, beyond only conveying good sounding words which anyone can ultimately convey – this is about sharing one’s truth and one’s commitment to actually live and embody as the new nature of ourselves as human beings, and that’s the kind of seriousness I’m definitely all in for in my existence.

Thanks for reading  

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


538. Living Authenticity

 

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

What does it really mean to be authentic in this world? And how have we shaped ourselves according to a desire to be authentic yet without having self as the starting point? Upon focusing and reflecting on this word today, I realized how much of the association to ‘authenticity’ in relation to a set of aspects or traits that are very much – or most of the times – personality-based, meaning, how I initially spotted it within the attributes I saw in another that I created a sense of ‘attraction’ for was related to a persona, the portrayal of themselves with particular set of preferences, perspectives and expressions that were not really of ‘substance’ as I call them when it comes to the person being expressing who they really are as life or being supportive in their expression – it was mostly a perception of authenticity being expressed through being rebellious, polemic, controversial, against-the-grain in fact, very much ‘on your face’ and standing up for something that the thinks is right for him. And sure that’s a way to ‘be authentic’ in consciousness-speak, but here I am definitely not looking at doing that for myself, dare I say ‘again’ and I’ll explain why.

How I had ‘strived’ to live authenticity was mostly through creating a persona/living a set of personalities where I could stand in an eccentric way (out of the norm, out of the circle) and create myself as a statement of ‘I don’t buy into any of that, I am the opposite of what everyone wants to be’ type of ideal, and surely this can be something very common in our teenage years or young adulthood that eventually becomes a self-definition for the rest of our lives if we don’t dare to question and re-create ourselves, very much like this person I took as an example above, which is ok for him and his process but not for myself, my life and process context.

So, what would have happened if I had not started this process from consciousness to self-awareness as life is that I would have most likely continued to be a person that stands very much in the definition of ‘misfit’ or ‘outcast’ or ‘eccentric persona’ that tries to be unique, special, ‘authentic’ as a portrayal of personalities, a palette of expressions used ‘towards others’ to create a certain impact/make a statement about ‘who I am’ as all the strengths and potencies that I ‘wanted’ to have and be at the eyes of others, but certainly most likely hiding quite a lot of insecurities, fears and inferiority behind all of that façade.

Throughout the years I’ve shared the detail of walking the writings, the self-forgiveness process on seeing, understanding and so correcting myself from feeding this ‘hard veneer’ I placed upon myself in order to really find out who I am behind the masks essentially. And this is exactly a first step to look at within the word ‘Authentic’ and self-creation.

Initially when I started removing ‘the masks’, what was left was this ‘me’ that was very much still to be re-sculpted, re-programmed so to speak because all I had ever known is how to be a character ‘for others’ and not really focus on asking myself: Who do I want to be? What do I want to create? Who am I as the words that I speak and live? Who am I as my expression? What do I want to create and live not only for myself but also for others in my world? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses to work on and strengthen? What are some of the ‘unique skills’ I can develop/would like to focus on developing and so living/expressing throughout my life? What would I like to contribute to this world to create what’s best for all?

Therefore, authenticity became linked to ‘authority’ and ‘authorship’, which is something that I completely had overlooked in my plight to become this compendium of personalities and ways to ‘cope’ with the world and portray myself as being something I would define as ‘strong,’ but it was all going to be very much just an imitation of other people I admired and wanted to ‘be like’ in order to be as special or popular as I considered them to be.

Throughout this process with Desteni, we learn to see words beyond our predefined ways, beyond the surface scope and learn to open up a whole new way of looking at them, and this is through adding the ingredients of self-honesty and the ability to change who we are, being able to see who and what we are in the context of taking responsibility for ourselves, our creation, our words, our actions, who we want to be as a contributor to life being birthed again in this world. And that’s definitely something that opens up the real depth there is to authenticity.

Who and what have I become as authenticity through this process of several years of learning to understand the ‘who I had become’ and redesigning myself step by step in every single aspect where I saw my ‘character weaknesses,’ integrating a correction that I realize represents me as my living potential led me to where I am now, which is being able to look back and see how this authority and authorship as the creator of my life is something I’m very much ‘settled in’ with, meaning, it is a platform from which I am already ‘operating’ from, just had not realized it as such if I had not written it out and focused on this word today.

Yet, as with any living word, it is not something that is just ‘done’ for myself, it is – as with every word – a platform from which I can move to express, grow, expand as a person within the context of becoming a contributor to life itself – and no longer just a compendium of expressions ‘for others’ to appreciate, value or see as ‘unique’ which is one of the ways in which a personality can be confused with what I’d like to share as the real uniqueness we all have here.

How about considering authenticity as our unique position and ability to partake in the process of co-creation, where we start seeing each other as equals with equal potential to be developed and sculpted for and by each one of us in the name of what is best for all?

Many times we get lost in the ‘matrix of personalities’ where we are kind of always striving to be unique, to be perfect, to be successful, to be special as a personality ‘for the world out there’ instead of rather first of all considering who do we want to be and live for and as ourselves, what do I want to cultivate, grow and reap as my creation for myself and so for everyone else in this reality? In other words: what can I be and contribute with as my livelihood, my unique expression, my skills and live them in full responsibility and awareness of shaping me and what I do in the name of what’s best for all – where each one of us can in fact contribute unique aspects that makes us ‘who we are’ as individuals, yet equal in the context of that life-essence that we can learn to honor and live as our expression, in our very own day to day living.

This is where the context of stopping comparison also comes in, where in my experience, many times I’ve fallen into the trap of comparing my abilities, skills, expressions, behaviors, choices and outcomes in life to that of others; instead of reminding myself that each one of us as individuals are unique expressions, with a unique context that cannot be ‘repeated to the T’’ by any other individual – no one else has had our exact same life position and experience, in the same location/context, with the same challenges, with our same bodies and exact same patterns learned and copied from our very own parents – etc. So, the sheer notion of comparison with this becomes futile, it’s like trying to compare one tree to another tree – yes both are trees but they will always be different and there’s no point in comparing in the sense of who’s better or worse or more special etc. That’s all consciousness-speak which we have to start stopping within ourselves.

Stopping this consciousness-speak then leads one to tap into the essence of who can we be, what can we make of ourselves as an individual, what words do I want to live not only for myself and my life, but as an equal contributor to the co-creation of this reality?

I recently suggested someone to do this for themselves as well considering how much we focus only on ‘stopping patterns’ and all the rest of destructive, self-sabotaging or self-abusive behaviors and contexts, leading oneself to temporarily lose footing within who we really are and only see all the negative aspects, getting obfuscated by the reality of self one can initially see in this process, all the ‘bad’ and the ‘negative’ which needs to be at the same time worked in an equal process and equilibrium with self-creation and having a starting point of who do we want to be and create ourselves as in this lifetime, this life-opportunity we have here on Earth if we dare and commit to step into it with our full life force and expression.

Therefore for me to be authentic or live authenticity is to be and live my unique set of skills, abilities, what I’ve learned to practice and develop over time which in my very own life experience has led me to be a person that can assist others in their own birthing process based on doing that in my own experience for almost a decade now and realizing that there is so much more that each one can be if we can step out of our own limitations first of all, out of our fears, out of our comparisons or personality ideals and place our focus and attention in our living potential, who we really want to live and be for the rest of our lives, in the context of what’s best for all life, considering self-responsibility within self-creation. This changes everything and it’s of course something that not only benefits us individually, but collectively because again if we are best for oneself = we become best for all in whichever we decide to be and create.

Here I am realizing how I had minimized such potential of this word by linking it to a set of personalities and expressions I defined as ‘interesting’ for example and seeing myself as ‘desiring that’ or ‘lacking that’ which is definitely not the case now that I’m opening this word in a substantial-context in living terms – it changes everything.

And this is the kind of perspective I’d like more of us to really integrate and acknowledge in our lives, to see where and how we diminish, in-fear-iorize or separate ourselves from a word through consciousness-speak like ‘attraction’ or ‘liking’ or ‘being drawn to’ something or someone based on an experience, instead of going directly into naming the experience, giving it a word and seeing first of all who are we already as this word, how are we living it and if we are living it, is it best for all? Is it considering using that ability and potential to support ourselves in our lives and others? Is it lived self-honestly? Is it within the context of life responsibility?

In this we can get to recognize how unique we already are and how much we are squandering in an attempt to fulfill ourselves through personalities or desiring relationships with others and the rest of it, all of it an outflow of separation from our very own living words and potential.

This kind of exercise I just shared here truly sets our record straight into realizing our potential and clearing one’s head from ‘ideals’ and ‘perceptions’ of what we’ve given value and meaning to- which is then again something to work through, self-forgive and correct within ourselves.

This is only a ‘self-assessment’ though because every aspect at the same time has been a process walked, every fear, inferiority, comparison, jealousy, personality development that I had taken on over the years and that I will continue to fine tune whenever it emerges again in me. So this is more like the ‘fruit’ that comes from a process of self-commitment to live and realize this for myself and this is something I see can make us better living parts and co-creators in this world, that can in turn change the nature of the world system and our interrelationships if we live this authenticity out of our personal-interests as consciousness-speak and into living-substance, into living potential.

Thanks for reading

 

Humble Me

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


520. Self-Accountability and Tough Love

Or understanding and realizing the necessary nature of applying ‘tough love’ in order to honor our own lives and that of others in the name of what’s best for all.

Many times while being in relationships we lose track of our personal self-agreement and where we stand in personal principles and self-support because of perceiving that a relationship is an entity created between ‘two individuals’ – and yes in normal relationships this is how it goes where a lot of compromise and fears as well as positive experiences can be defined through the sum of two individuals existing ‘for each other’ and depending ‘on each other’ completely at an emotional or feeling level – which means at a mind level. However within this process from consciousness to self-awareness the notion of ‘relationships’ is redefined as the creation of an agreement where one or more people agree to support themselves to be the best version of themselves and do whatever is necessary to align themselves to the principles of life, of equality and oneness, of self-honesty and self-support.

Therefore it is about ‘who we are as individuals’ in a relationship where it doesn’t matter if one in the relationship isn’t aware of this process from consciousness to awareness, one can establish a self-agreement with ourselves in honoring these principles and ensuring that we work with our self-change and self-responsibility, honoring one’s life first and foremost.

This means that one’s personal point of focus should not be on what the other person does or doesn’t do to support themselves but instead, what defines us as individuals in the relationship is where we stand all the way in it, who we are in our lives, our principles,  how we work through our own patterns, how we apply our points of change, how we confront situations of conflict, how we are willing to let go of a righteousness and ego in order to recognize and so change one’s own faults and problems. And yes, at the same time decide for ourselves if one is willing to and is able to stand in a relationship where one knows the other person is not supporting themselves or standing in a principle of self-support at the very least – that decision and choice becomes part of our self-honesty as in seeing what we accept and allow ourselves to live with or not.

Here focusing on myself within the creation of a relationship, I found this point of personal accountability or ‘self-accountability’ to be quite supportive as in ‘keeping track’ of myself, who we are, what I’ve done or haven’t done in my self-relationship of self-support.  

In past relationships I would condition ‘me changing’ according to ‘others changing too’ or others showing or demonstrating that they were also doing their part, which becomes the perfect recipe for spite and developing an extremely conditional nature in our minds where the focus is on ‘others’ and not on oneself at all. Therefore this time I decided to not condition myself according to ‘another one’ and instead stick to my self-agreement where I can be able to recognize where I am reacting, where I am not defining me and my change in relation to ‘the relationship with another’ only or re-enacting past relationship patterns; and in general where I am conditioning my own point of change in relation to others changing as well or others looking into ‘their own problems or faults’ too, which is also a covert point of blame and ‘focusing on another’ only instead of entirely focusing on oneself.

Here I share this as a cautionary tale so that one takes into consideration not creating this kind of spite and expectations within a relationship where if one is holding the other accountable first and focusing on what another does or doesn’t do to then decide to change or not change,  the whole point of self-accountability and self-responsibility becomes null within oneself, because then we turn our focus and attention into blaming others for not doing their part, for not changing, for not living up to our expectations, and that’s definitely a point of self-dishonesty for the person that is keeping the finger pointed ‘at others’ only, but is not focusing or even willing to look back to self first.

What I’ve learned to do is to focus on myself entirely – and no, this is not ‘selfishness’ as it might be perceived, but a basic aspect of self-responsibility and accountability within a self-agreement within which I decided to step into the creation of a relationship with another. Therefore this allowed me to work every time on letting go of my expectations of what I wanted the other person to do or be for myself – yet also speaking up whenever something was very obvious to be opened up for their own awareness and self-work. At the same time, I had to also be considerate of another’s life, mind, characters and ‘ways of being’ that I learned to adjust in quite an effective manner – though also of course being ready and willing to draw a line whenever something is out of the agreed best for all and self-supportive habits and ways in our shared living.

This latter point of ‘drawing a line’ whenever one sees that a basic principle of committing to self-support in a relationship that is established at the beginning of a relationship is not being followed through, is what might be defined as ‘tough love’ where one is willing to be first of all accountable to oneself and so another in the sense that: in self-honesty and within the consideration of what’s best for all, allowing the other person to face for example the breakup of a relationship as the best way for them to realize what each one is doing to themselves and how not following through a self-agreement leads to consequences or results that are compromising for all individuals involved.

This outcome of applying ‘tough love’ is a necessity and an aspect of establishing an agreement – either with another or alone within oneself as self-agreement – where if the basic points of self-responsibility, self-honesty and self-support are not being lived in thought, word and deed and is causing consequences for each other’s lives, then one has to honor the starting point of the relationship redefined as an ‘agreement’ between two or more – and so all parts can agree how it is best to let go of the relationship in order to assist each other to face the points, the aspects where we didn’t stand up in it all.

It’s just like any contract or creation of a society as well or ‘team’ that exist to create, build, direct, expand, work on something – and if the basic functionality of this is not existent then it simply makes sense to dissolve the union and work on an individual basis to strengthen and change the points that led to the failure or inconsistency in the joint process.

This might seem like a harsh move or ‘insensible’ because of not considering people’s feelings but that’s exactly what we have to stop blinding ourselves with if we are to truly honor our lives. It might also sound like not being considerate, not being patient or not being lenient enough– but that’s also where self-accountability is a great way to measure ‘who we’ve been’ within the whole relationship or point of creation in our lives.

For example in my case realizing that I have in fact developed patience, consideration, flexibility, unconditional support, doing to another what I would like another to be an do for themselves, working to stop my own expectations, stopping being so exigent, being less controlling (yep still working on that one!) and be able to reference all of it with another who also in self-honesty would be able to recognize what has been done or hasn’t been done by each one in the relationship.

Therefore what I’ve realized is that what might be initially perceived as ‘tough love’ is from my perspective a very necessary measure to apply to allow another person to understand the nature of self-creation, to understand the consequences of not living up to one’s utmost potential and that includes of course myself first of all, where I can also see and become aware of my own points of compromise, my choices, my decisions, assessing ‘where I am’ and ‘where I am going next’ which yes would be directed to a supportive outcome and potential within a relationship. However this is precisely what I have to leave clear for myself and so share here as a general reminder for anyone reading: there is a vast and visible difference between seeing a ‘potential’ in a relationship and in one another and living such potential or actively working to become that potential and having physical reality proof of that in thought, word and deed as the nature of who we are at all times.

This is how in personal accountability, we can establish our own clarity to see who we are, what we have done or haven’t done, who we’ve been within an entire point of self-creation and hold ourselves accountable for it. This ability to ‘see ourselves’ and recognize our pros and cons to self-creation and be determined to acknowledge them is the essence of truly loving ourselves, caring for ourselves and so another – so that we can acknowledge it, face it, understand it and commit ourselves to work on it. This is the essence of this process and the essence of living in self-agreement within a relationship.

Based on these principles, whenever we see that reality is not ‘adding up’ to the self-agreements established at the beginning of a relationship, where the relationship itself can become a comfort zone for both individuals to not genuinely change and step out of the recurring patterns of self-diminishment in our minds and lives, then it is necessary to end such relationship in order to honor our lives, our individual processes and potentials, to be of more ‘good than harm’ in having to face ourselves individually rather than together which is an outcome that varies from context to context and all based on each one’s decision – and I’m here sharing it to have the courage to do so whenever it is needed and consequences are knocking at the door.

What is the benefit? What does one ‘gain’ or ‘gifts’ oneself from holding oneself accountable and so another in that agreement or ‘redefined relationship’? The gift of responsibility, of acknowledging our creation, of owning our creation, of developing integrity, self-respect, honoring each other’s lives even if that means having to separate to precisely understand the consequences we create for oneself and another if we don’t stand by our self-commitment to change.

This becomes a living statement, making it clear to one another that what’s best for all is to continue working on such self-agreement as self-support yet no longer within a relationship.

This is where one has to step beyond the self-interest of ‘keeping a relationship’ where compromise exists and where we might ‘hold it all up’ based on fears of letting go or settling to a point of ‘least effort’ in oneself in order to truly stand in that absolute self-agreement within oneself and so in relationship to others.

This is how then within Self-Accountability – which implies being able to take responsibility for one’s life, in self-honesty from beginning to end of our lives – one has to make decisions, to take charge of one’s ‘destiny’ and not leave it to the hands of hope or fate or even ‘potential change’, but directly act and do what’s needed to truly own our creation, to understand the consequences we are creating for ourselves and others in our lifetime and be able to stand in a position where it’s only ourselves, individually, that can decide if we fall or if we stand up – but not any longer ‘trapping’ oneself and others into consequential outcomes, such as it happens in any relationship or joint project, work situation or anything else where instead, each individual can assess their situation and therefore understand when it is best to ‘go back to the drawing board’ in order to be most effective in working, living, sharing oneself with another and standing in that self-commitment to be the best version of ourselves and so to each other in this lifetime.  

Here it is also where one’s personal self-interest is overridden to living principles, where a relationship or partnership, friendship, any ‘joint effort’ with others that is not resulting in a best for all outcome can be assessed and either worked on individually or cease to exist as such if the proof in physical reality is showing that it is not leading to a visible and tangible point of change in who we are in thought, word and deed.

Ultimately how I see it is that each one of us will have to walk through ‘tests’ of who we are in our lives: are we life or are we in the mind? Do we decide to settle in for a point of compromise and self-limitation and eventual destructive consequences or do we decide to stand in self-honesty even if it means having to ‘give up’ something that we find very comfortable and supportive in ‘some’ aspects  of our lives? That’s what I defined as the eye of the needle in my case, that one ‘point’ that we have defined as our weakness, our ‘tough points’ to walk through where we face a seemingly difficult choice: our mind or life, our personal interest or what is best for all?

What I’ve found is that even if it means having to cause some perceived ‘undesirable outcomes’ for my self-interest, what prevails in me and what I decide to always stand for is life, and life takes no ‘middle ways,’ because I know for myself how ‘full-fledged’ one has to be in terms of taking life seriously and living as such in thought, word and deed. Not about knowledge and information here or ‘pledging alliance to life’ as an ideological orientation – that’s what the world is filled with and shows no change at all. Nope.

This is about demonstrating with our whole being where we decide to stand in our lives, who we decide to be in every moment of our lives and yes, I know it sounds very challenging or even absolutist, but it is only common sensical to set the bar so ‘high’ for oneself considering how long we’ve been living in personal recycling processes of doing the least effort, repeating the same mistakes, leading ourselves to a path of self-destruction, of irresponsibility, dishonor and plain inconsideration towards our very own life.

I have expressed many times in my life how I want to change the world, how I cannot accept the ways in which we’ve existed in this world because it’s quite evident where we’ve gotten ourselves to in such repetitive patterns, habits and ‘ways’ of our human nature. Therefore life itself embedded in ourselves and our very creations leads us to find ‘who we truly are’ in our choices, in our decisions, in our stance – and I am quite committed to continue being accountable to myself because at the end of the day, it’s not about ‘fulfilling my mind’s desires’, it’s about the person I can live with for the rest of my life, the person that I can fully stand with every single breath of the way and that’s precisely the one person I can only ever truly change and take responsibility for: myself.

This is the marvel as well of this process where even if we would like to assist others, to give an ‘opportunity’ of self-change for another, to provide the necessary tools and environment to ‘give themselves a chance,’ it can only ever be supportive if the person decides to do all of this entirely for themselves as well and take it seriously all the way. Otherwise it won’t stand and one will be left as the ‘person that tried to save another that wasn’t willing to do it for themselves.’ I’ve definitely have had enough of this pattern so: till here no further.

Some ‘tough love’ is necessary for me to integrate in my ways of supporting others, not only in relationships as ‘partnerships’ or ‘agreements’ as defined within this process, but with every person that I am in contact with through familial bonds, friendships and relationships of self-support within this process as well. That’s the best I can do to honor myself, what I’ve figured out I am able to do and stand as for and as myself which means: if I can, others can do it too.

Thanks for reading.

Lastly a great quote from an audio I’ll cite here:

 

“…so many of us face in so many different dimensions of (being) afraid of speaking up, afraid of saying what we see, afraid of really being direct and sometimes knowing you have to be hard and intense and show some tough love but not be afraid to lose the person. Because I think, actually you know what happens if you don’t do that? You do actually lose the person, and you lose yourself because you’re losing them to the mind and you’re losing a part of yourself because you’re not being honest.” Sunette,  Compromising for Love (Part 2) – Relationship Success Support

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


515. Remembering The Process

Or understanding the dedication of self-change and actively working on creating and living to our utmost potential

Many times we want to create an experience of self-acceptance, self-trust, self-confidence, having a sense of security, being fearless and being stable enough to overcome the ‘throws of life’ but, those positive thoughts or temporary experiences won’t last, because what’s needed is to walk a comprehensive process to understand how we became all of those limitations and through understanding and seeing each of those ‘wirings’ in our programming, we can then reverse engineer ourselves to create, be and do that which we realize and see is more supportive for ourselves, not as a ‘positive reaction’ to all the ‘negative’ in us, but as a  more in depth step by step process of self-creation in self-awareness, through living our decisions to change, through applying the commitments of what we decide to do next once that we’ve understood that for example, an experience of inferiority exists because of a judgment we have imposed onto others as ‘superior to us’ which makes of that inferiority a self-created experience that one needs to stop feeding and stand up from in equality, not ‘superior or better than’- and this involves a whole change of attitude, ways of thinking, ways of seeing or perceiving reality and others, ways of talking, etc. All of which I would not be able to lay out just in a blog but there’s a whole lot of substantial realizations that one can gain from walking this process I’m talking about in a dedicated and comprehensive manner.

And that’s precisely what the Desteni I Process is about, to learn how to effectively change at a core level of ourselves – no quick fixes for sure – which means, yes it does take dedication, discipline, consistency, self-honesty, self-responsibility but hey, isn’t this the least that we can give and do for ourselves after we have been living and seeing the direct consequence of Not living to our utmost potential? Isn’t it so that if we are to become living beings of integrity, self-respect, honor and responsibility it requires to give it our utmost personal investment in many ways to get to achieve it? Yes it does, we’ve squandered our capacity, ability and potential for such a long time, for generations and generations before.

So, my take here is to take this opportunity that is here and has been here for 10 years now on Earth to for once and for all step out of self-limitation and into self-creation as life – it takes courage, takes dedication, takes self-will but I can guarantee you, it’s the best ‘gift’ you can ever give to yourself in your life, and starting with the basics in the DIP Lite free course is a way to ‘test the waters’ of what this process is and why it is laid out in a day by day process, bit by bit, nothing overwhelming or difficult to do, it’s all about writing self and a willingness to support yourself, that’s all that’s required.

I’m living and seeing the benefits of this in my life and this is what drives me to continually share about it, because I certainly would like every single human being that is able to do this process to realize their potential, to walk out of the ‘tunnel vision’ of the mind and embrace a completely different way of approaching life and living that will stay with you, forever! Of course if lived, applied and walked in this life-time self-commitment approach.

 

Here I share some more depth into what it really means and takes to change.

Through assisting and supporting other people to walk the same process that I’ve been walking for some years now, I am usually reminded of the saying ‘remember the process’ that it takes to get to change one single aspect in ourselves. And in a way yes, having to remind myself of how challenging it can be to walk through a particular experience in our minds that we want to change but simply can’t do so as fast or as quickly as we would like to, because of the layers of reactions, judgments and general negative experiences that we have imprinted onto the living of self-responsibility, which is our ability to create the changes that we want to live while at the same time getting to know and understanding ‘who we are’ as all of those limitations that we have imposed onto ourselves through fears, emotions, feelings, judgments, opinions, prejudices… anything and all that ends up limiting ourselves to really live the way that we see would make more sense and be more beneficial and practical for us.

Through getting to understand my own mind and at the same time working with others and reading others’ processes walking through this same self-investigation, I’ve become aware of a rather common experience that is negative in nature within ourselves, mostly existing as inferiority, shame, embarrassment, insecurity, inadequacy which creates a ‘lock down’ when it comes to conceiving change for the better – and stepping from that into simply creating a ‘positive experience’ in the mind, like trying to just ‘feel’ confident or going into a superiority act towards others is not the way either as real change.  And to get more depth into this please check out this awesome video that explains it all too from the School Of Ultimate Living

·         How to Live Redefined Words

 

What I’ve found is that once that we start seeing and acknowledging for the first time our self-honesty, meaning, seeing the actual truth of ourselves as all the ‘worst’ parts of ourselves that we require to change, an urgency for change emerges in the sense that we start getting bothered by continuing to see ‘the same experience’ in ourselves day by day – but unfortunately this process doesn’t work in such an quick-fix way where we can step from ‘point A’ to point of entire change as ‘point B’, because all of those aspects we want to change of ourselves are not just ‘faulty programming’ that we can  get rid of in one go, we have to understand that  it’s become the way that we live, behave, act  based on our environment, our parents, from past generations, from  our relationships and there’s so much of ourselves that has been imprinted or ‘formed’ according to these thoughts and experiences at a physical level that wanting to step right away into the ‘changed self’ will most likely result in a temporary fix where one might ‘feel better’ but it’s not a real self-creation process over time with actually getting to know oneself and through that understanding laying out the ways to go implementing change bit by bit.

However this ‘change’ doesn’t imply that one has in fact understood how is it that we were maintaining and fueling those ‘negative’ experiences in ourselves as all of the inferiority, inadequacy or experience of being ‘out of place’ all the time and how is it that we have been accepting and allowing them to exist within us/as ourselves through our participation in thoughts, experiences, judgments, opinions that we hold about ourselves, about others and then end up living it out as ‘who we are’ all the time.

This is where the relevance of this process from consciousness to awareness comes in, to really get to know ourselves, to develop the patience, diligence, humbleness, consistency and willingness to dedicate oneself to create one’s life. Through taking the time that real self-change requires, one gets to understand ‘why’ change cannot come that ‘easily’ when getting to understand who we are as our mind, being and body relationship and to what extent all of those personalities, experiences or characters that we’ve become are already ingrained at a deep level within ourselves where sometimes, even after years of applying the tools of self-support, one will still continue ‘peeling the layers’ of our programming and continuing to work with those core or most ingrained patterns and keep ‘at it’ with diligence.

Within this, I listened to this recording today Manifested Consequences & Rushing to Change – The Future of Awareness – Part 86 which very much explains this point in much more detail and more so in the context of ‘fighting’ our mind where we would like to ‘be done with’ our problems and experiences in one go and I definitely suggest listening to it because it details the nature of walking through manifested consequences, which is related to the point of owning our creation and learning to walk through it and embrace our reality in self-responsibility, which is not about fighting, not intended to be considered as a drag or a problem even, but a process of reaping what one sows, facing what one has created, without the emotional process involved in getting to see in self-honesty who we are and have become.

Here what emerged in me as well is how many times we tend to want to jump into this ‘self-perfected’ version of ourselves that is ‘completely changed and done with this process.’ Early on into this process I decided not to participate in these kind of thinking, because I considered it to be ‘unreal’ and at the same time causing more of a limitation and expectations based on how I can conceive myself as ‘perfect’ or ‘be done with process’ currently am in my life, which is certainly not the same person I was 9 years ago when I started this process, nor will it be in 10 or 20 more years down the line.

Therefore, I definitely see the benefit of letting go of this urge to change, or focusing so much in ‘wanting to change’ as a desire where one actually loses ground or sense of what ‘living process’ is all about which is in fact about who we can decide to be and what we decide to do in all of those moments where we can actually apply ourselves to change, to implement and test out the commitments and corrections we’ve written out for ourselves and doing so on a day by day, moment by moment basis.

I’ve found that any time that I even dare to think of ‘all the changes I need to do in my life’ it can seem like this humungous amount of stuff piled up in front of me and of course, I would get completely bummed and discouraged if I’d dared to do this on a daily basis and consider the word ‘change’ as this huge pile of things to roll out in front of me for ‘the rest of my life’! Man, it sounds overwhelming isn’t it? But just like Matti explained in his very cool vlog as well You only ever have to change for ONE DAY we don’t really ‘own’ that future that we are projecting as this ‘changed self’, we don’t even ‘own’ or have certainty of breathing our next breath, which is why this process is very much something that I suggest is considered on a ‘moment to moment’ basis and considering ‘one point at a time’ as well.

Otherwise if we go into imaginations, ideas, projections of ‘being changed’ or ‘being done’ with one’s process, it leads one to then inevitably ‘come back’ to reality and see where one is and get discouraged, get ‘bummed out’ or overwhelmed for the apparent ‘amount of work to do’ and that’s why the suggestion that you’ll read around many times: one point at a time, one breath at a time, take it day by day, moment by moment.

I can say from personal experience that if you drop all of that future projection or ideals of ‘who you want to be’ or drop the need to ‘reach’ certain imagined outcome for yourself and instead completely work with ‘what’s here’ in your life, in your reality in the moment = everything simplifies a LOT and suddenly this whole ‘self-change’ process becomes very realistic and very doable, even simplistic if one cooperates in self-honesty.

This also implies that we need to let go of this idea that one will be ‘done’ with one’s process at some point. I definitely also don’t see this process of changing who we are not only as individuals but at a global level as something that I’ll get to ‘finish’ this lifetime nor in the next generations to come – yet, it doesn’t matter to me because this process as much as it is yes a process of self-change and global change, I mostly see it as a way of living, a new way of creating our lives and learning new ways to make our lives supportive for ourselves and others, within the manifested consequences and yes limitations and current contexts we are living in this world, which is why we also at the same time go understanding what being a self-responsible creator means.

How I have approached this process of self-change is not so much as a ‘temporary’ thing that I am applying or walking as a course only, but genuinely integrating new ways of thinking, living, interacting, creating, relating to others, making decisions, improving myself, bettering myself in many ways and that is in essence what living is about for me – not about wanting to be ‘perfect’ or ‘fearing making mistakes’ or ‘reacting to my flaws’ any longer, but rather embracing all of which I go uncovering about myself – yes, the ugly, the worst, the not cool at all aspects too – that exists as who I currently am so that I can then get ‘hands on the matter’ and work on it.

This is how this process from consciousness to self-awareness as life is something continuous, bit by bit, just like we go ‘powering’ our lives breath by breath, beat by beat – it’s a way of existing in myself and in my every day  life where through integrating these tools of self-investigation such as self-honesty, self-writing, self-forgiveness, living words and laying out practical solutions for change becomes a new way in which I think, in which I can use ‘what’s here’ in my moment to learn about myself, to devise solutions, to test them out, to fine tune my expression, to stand up from mistakes, to create new paths for me to walk on, to expand the way in which I conceive me as part of this world, to learn to see others as equal in living substance.

And this is how through the application of all of this with dedication and consistency, one can in fact develop much of the supportive and realistic aspects or values that we tend to project about ourselves as ‘having changed’ and having all these virtues and supportive habits – but then it is the result of this day by day application, it is a direct consequence of one’s decision to support oneself in every moment and live the words and commitments that one has laid out to change.

In this change ceases to be this ‘chimera’ to someday, somehow ‘suddenly reach’ this self that we want to be, instead it is a very real and practical process where we go creating the person that we want to be and live as for the rest of our lives for and by ourselves, in every moment. This is about the person you’ll be with for the rest of your life!

Long blog! but that’s what I essentially wanted to share today, how a lot of the ‘cool words’ or ‘ideals’ we want to live such as confidence, assertiveness, self-trust, discipline, responsibility, comfort, enjoyment, the ability to establish supportive relationships with others, etc. are the result of processes over space and time that one can go working on a daily basis with, and that’s how what matters is not the ‘end result’ or a ‘perfected-self’ at the end of your life, but what matters is who one is on a day to day, moment by moment basis, that’s the only life we ever ‘own’ really, and that’s why projecting change into the future is pointless, really, and a waste of breaths and potential to who we can be in the moment, today.

Join in!

  

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


493. Hitting Rock Bottom and Learning to Question It

There’s a challenge going around to share about our ‘Hitting Rock Bottom’ Experience and I can relate to what many others have shared in relation to getting to a point of seeing ‘no point’ in life or ‘finding no meaning to life’ and seeing all the consequences out there that we usually react to like wars, famine, corruption, dying of animal species, pollution and general ‘reckless behavior’ in humanity that I several times used as an excuse, a reason and justification for me to believe there is ‘no point’ in continuing living because ‘it will be impossible to change anything in this world for the better.’

I made of the reality of the world an Experience within me which became a state of anger, hopelessness, helplessness, disempowerment, lostness, depression and seeing ‘no point’ in living. What’s interesting is that my rock bottom was precisely because of not understanding my own experiences generated through my own mind by my own participation in these constant thoughts about ‘the world out there.’

I wasn’t aware that I was the one causing myself to be existing in this very tormented experience that I would cause with feeding myself of news and data about the state of affairs in the world where every single time I’d end up turning it all into an experience of powerlessness, anger towards those I believed were in positions of authority to ‘change the world’, I would  complain and criticize whoever I could without Ever asking myself… but how am I participating in all of this? How is it that I am making of all of the problems in the world this experience within me that doesn’t practically change anything at all?

I never properly asked those questions, which is why I led myself to various ways to evade myself in a belief of ‘there being nothing to live for’ or ‘the world is doomed and so am I’. I had given up on ‘the world’ and was decided to stay away ‘as much as I could’ from people and become an isolated individual that doesn’t have to participate with other people, that doesn’t have to continue being into politics and social affairs, I was making a decision to seek some truth in a spiritual manner, lol.

So yes! What I can identify as a personal life crisis was precisely happening right before I got to know of Desteni and right after I discovered it, and I’ll always say that I saved my life with Desteni’s tools of self-support and explanations to get to be aware ‘who we are’ in reality in this world, because I was willing to go down many rabbit holes in an attempt to escape reality and find some solace in some ‘higher truths’ of all kinds… not nice, not pretty even though the intent was still that of ‘wanting to make some changes in the world,’ I was about to dive deeply into the spirituality-loop where I had started to focus more on all things positive while continuing to suppress a lot of emotional turmoil, various relationships in my life that were Not supportive at all and in essence being in a very uncomfortable position where I decided to keep an appearance of ‘everything is fine and I am enjoying myself’ when I was not, at all, it was the saddest and most confusing time in my life and that’s because I had to own my decisions in life at the moment and compromise myself in the belief that I could not ‘show to the world’ how miserable I am because… what will everyone say? This was right at the beginning of my career and even if I had the friends and relationships, nope, nothing seemed to ‘lessen the void’ really.

I had a rough time back then which, by the way stopped on a day like today but 9 years ago that I watched the first Desteni videos and from there my life took another turn where I was then going to be going through a momentary ‘life crisis’ due to my reactions upon realizing who we really are and what has been going on in the world, in this reality without any of us having been aware of it throughout our entire existence! That was also a tough time because suddenly I could realize that I could drop all of my intents to find some ‘truth out there’ but then I had to actually start dismantling the ‘me’ that I had built as myself, the personalities, the ways of evading my self-responsibility, I had to start questioning and letting go of the experiences that even if they were clearly Not supportive for myself I had grown in a way addicted to live out and feed as ‘who I am’ every single day.

So I can say that starting this process was also a tempestuous time in my life which lasted around 2 days of believing that ‘my life was about to end’ when in fact, lol, that was only me as my mind throwing a massive tantrum because I could not believe that ‘my life had been an entire lie!’ – though of course this was an initial and very premature reaction which I externalized through an email to people at the Desteni forum and I was very glad to receive a personal response from now my many years friend and fellow Destonian Talamon explaining me with all the right and supportive words that all of that despair that I was experiencing was only an experience in my mind, that it wasn’t ‘the real me’ as the potential of who I am as life. Bam! That was the first time that I was able to make a decision to see my reactions as a part of me as my mind = therefore only real as long as I continue Making them real – this was me realizing that I could decide to stop, something I could decide to change and investigate to see what is behind this experience of ‘everything is lost’ and then getting to see in common sense that this was clearly one of those resistances I was acting out in my mind, which are very common when getting to know more about the truth of ourselves… we first fight it, deny it, hide away from, sometimes ‘demonize it’ it until we make that decision to see, to stand, to embrace the truth and reality which was actually the best and most empowering decision I’ve ever made in my life and one that has changed my life until today.

I find it interesting though that I can recall that ‘hitting rock bottom’ experience linked to finding about Desteni and having what I called back then a ‘massive breakdown’ of crying and being super confused and depressed, but it only took me to write an email – yes, very desperate one, lol – to get some support and I realized that indeed, I was only acting out upon it and that the actual process had yet to be started by me.

Since then there is this awareness that whenever I am driving myself into any experience of utter discomfort, reactions, sadness, depression – what do I know? I am creating it myself, I am turning my attention away from myself, in what I am accepting and allowing within me, what I am creating in my life to the all-time favorite distraction which has been of turning the ‘world affairs’ into my Own experience of depression or hopelessness. It is a personal decision I am making there to turn ‘the outside’ experience into my own experience and I have to say that till this day and year, this is something I still continue to work with because my ‘weak point’ is precisely being too focused on ‘all the problems in the world’ and then internalizing them as ‘my experience’ because I had believed that doing so makes me a person ‘that cares’ or that is willing to be in solidarity with every single sentient being that is suffering in this world – but emotions won’t ever sort out anything, emotions won’t ever create a solution to it all, only I can be and stand as a solution starting with stopping my own reactions to a few aspects of the world and in doing so, stop the very cycles in my mind that recreate those same problems in the within and without of ourselves.

Therefore hitting the rock bottom is more like a compounded experience that is entirely self-created every time that I accept and allow myself to participate in thoughts that I create emotional reactions with, using ‘logic’ as knowledge and information to justify an experience within my mind in an attempt to show care, to ‘become’ mentally and physically affected as a way to ‘stand with those that suffer’, which is really bizarre if I look at it that way because my suffering or emotional tantrums won’t ever sort anything out, yet within a righteousness as the justifications in our minds, it’s easy to create such equations and believe that if we all become emotional about something, we will be able to change it, which is not so – been there, done that, never works.

What I have  to every single time remind myself of is that I decide to create these experiences or not, that I can make a decision to stop reacting emotionally to facts, to situations going on in my world and that I have to stop feeding the ‘hopelessness’ character with every single bit of information or world-awareness fact that I could ‘add’ to the same character where I would start justifying my experience due to ‘the world out there’ – this is what has to stop, not only in me but in all of us.

The point is therefore to focus on our own stopping of the suffering cycles of emotional reactions and ‘breakdowns’ within our own mind and acknowledge the responsibility we have to our own inner experience, that’s the first thing I had to take care of right away when realizing that I was causing this tantrum/emotional breakdown in my mind and that I had the ability to stop it. It was truly as if the whole world had opened up to me in that moment and ever since, it’s been easier to step out of me ‘creating my cases’ to step into a sense of depression, helplessness, hopelessness and so forth because I would be deceiving myself into my own ways of ‘escapism’ from myself.

Instead every single time with continued diligence, self-support and learning from others in this process, I’ve been able to stand up every time and the ‘lostness’ lasts less and less every time around though, I am tested every time with this point and this ‘propensity’ to become emotional about the ‘state of the world’ and every time I have to remind myself: back to self, focusing on myself, not making of the problems ‘out there’ my inner experience because this serves nothing and no one, this doesn’t sort out any of the problems, I only wreck myself and my body with it – I have to instead live by and practically apply the principles of self-honesty, self-responsibility and self-investigation to no longer judge or react at the world ‘out there’ but rather see how I can assist myself to stop reacting and focus on my own living creation, on who and what I want to create in my life.

This is also how I stopped my ideas of ‘losing meaning on this life’ or ‘pondering about the meaning of life’ which were also questions that I would use to taunt myself into a ‘bottom’ of depression and sadness, lol, never questioning myself ‘but wait a minute, how is it that I want to make of life a piece of knowledge an information as a ‘meaning’ instead of Living it?’

I can only be eternally grateful that I’ve been able to learn how to debunk my own mental entrapments and acknowledge and apply my ability to change my experience – yet, as I explained, this is always a choice I have to make: do I decide to turn this moment into an emotional experience, or do I decide to learn to see it objectively for what it is, to see reality as is and learn from the patterns it is presenting, learning from the consequences caused, learning to see myself as co-creator of this entire world and reality where I have to no longer fall into my own ‘mind-control’ by sinking into a depression.

The the real change resides in our ability to stand clean and clear, sober, in full dedication of ourselves to LIFE, to OUR lives first and foremost because, if we are not The Best for ourselves, how can we in any way ‘assist’ others out there? How can we in any way ‘show the way’ to create solutions if we haven’t done that for ourselves first of all? And this has been a humbling realization and a very supportive one so that I could finally understand that I didn’t have to go ‘saving the world’ or ‘others’ or trying to create a ‘revolution’ out there, but start with myself.

And over these now as of today 9 years since day 1 of creating this awareness of this existential process of birthing life in the physical, all that I can say is that I am grateful to myself for allowing me to hear and ‘try out’ the tools of self-support like writing, applying self-forgiveness and developing self-honesty, developing the Courage it takes to develop self-honesty and I am definitely only in the first phase of this process with everyone else – whether aware of it or not –  there’s much more to create and keep debunking within myself as the redirection of who I am in my mind and in my reality.

However, one point that I’d like to share as a last bit of support whenever facing similar ‘existential questionings’ or ‘seeing no way out’ in this reality, remember to realize that these questions will lead nowhere, because Life is Not an Experience, Life is not Knowledge and Information, Life is about Living. And Living in the common sensical and best definition it is and implies, it’s all about applying oneself in this process that I am so fortunate to be aware of and walking in this reality, which is that of dedicating one’s life to develop self-honesty and live in common sense.

This is also why invariably the topic of ‘hitting rock bottom’ leads to me suggesting anyone to gift yourself the Desteni Process, because that is the ultimate way to debunk our ‘rock bottoms’ forever and see them for what they are: as mental tantrums – really – and instead learn to create one’s life, learn to focus on what’s really substantial to live and do in this world. We decide, we always can decide to step into life and out of the mental conundrums and conflictive experiences.

Thanks for reading

Hangouts within the DIP Channel sharing more about this topic by several Destonians:

Practical Self-Empowerment: Moving Beyond the Rock and a Hard Place

Empowerment Through Practical Solutions in a Hopeless Time

HAVE YOU LOST ALL HOPE FOR HUMANITY?

Angry at the World and Want to do Something about it?

 

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Join us in our process of Self-Responsibility as LIFE

 

 


489. Doomsday Closer to Midnight? We Decide

Scientists have moved the time of the Doomsday Clock counting down humanity’s dying days closer to midnight, with the dials now set at two and a half minutes to 12am – the highest danger level facing the planet since 1953.” – Doomsday Clock ticks closer to midnight – RT News

 

There’s two ways of deciding to interact with news like this: jumping into the fear and paranoia bandwagon and drinking up to your last days to numb the fears (essentially giving up from the get go and sabotaging your life with fears and paranoia) – or, deciding to actually consider the moment we’re living in at a global level and do some self-reflection for Self-Change because, hello! The world is not something ‘out there’ that we have to change ‘out there’, it’s about who each one of us and how we decide to live and interact in very day of our lives.

Usually this kind of announcements only focus on what certain presidents/world leaders and people in ‘high positions’ get to decide on and how they relate to each other, which becomes a comfortable spot for the rest of the population to keep ‘blaming them’ for how ‘bad’ things have gotten thus far, but here thus I of course would like to take the point back to ourselves and our potential to change.

We might not have the ‘nuclear codes’ and ultimate decision to launch nuclear weapons or not, but we obviously have our ability to stop our inner wars as inner conflicts and projected blames and conflicts toward others, wherein as the commission that gave this change in the clock stated: the greatest problem is miscommunication, words taken at face value and taken into actions that lead to hostility, fear, retaliation, defense and the rest of it which also exists in our day to day living in our interactions with each other.

The point I’d like to focus thus is the emphasis made on words,  on this escalation being based on ‘verbal attacks’ which can only exist if there’s an ego that can accept and allow to take offense on words – which would not exist if such ‘world leaders’ had walked their process to understand that any form of verbal diarrhea as an attack, threat, intention of harm and abuse only defines the one that expresses it, but cannot affect the other one when receiving it if he/she stands in self-responsibility for their own reactions.

However these words and threats can be acted out in various ways that can indeed become a point of no return  in humanity, which is what we can at least make our own part to prevent if we genuinely care for our own lives and the lives of everyone in this world as equals – all life, not only humans.

This also proves something I’ve written a few blogs ago about the ‘Trump’s administration’ Let’s Make Us F.O.O.L. Again! and what it means to ourselves in this existential process, it can serve as a catalyst to either wake up or prompt our way into self-destruction. The choice is entirely our own, individually, not as ‘nations’ or ‘presidents’ only.

The solution is in realizing that we may see things escalating everywhere and this is not based on someone’s policy or technology or armament development, or tyrant people in presidential positions – these are only manifested consequences that we might not be able to stop or change by our own hand, but we surely can decide to change who we are in the midst of it all: do we go into doomsday mentality and fatalism, seeing ‘no way out’? Or do we decide to actually realize that our lives in a very individual manner are entirely up to us and we can only disempower ourselves if we keep blaming, fighting and pointing fingers outside of ourselves demanding change, instead of focusing in rather becoming aware of the kind of intentions as words, as backchat (mind conversations) that intend any point of harm, blame, abuse, vengeance or are plain derogatory towards others, because this is where we actually have control of and reign in within ourselves: our minds, our bodies, which is why we have to stop ‘focusing out there’ for solutions, but make sure we are giving our breaths of life to become the solution in and as ourselves, individually one by one, and stop projecting solutions coming from ‘higher powers’ out there. We are the solution, we have to live as it.

So how can we use this type of announcements in a constructive manner? To not give into fear at all or potential ‘worst case scenarios’ playing in our minds, causing fear and paranoia. But instead Focus on our Lives, focus on our personal internal and external reality, to live words and so actions and attitudes that are supportive to ourselves first and so invariably they will be supportive for others at the same time.

We have stop the blame, stop desires of revenge towards anything or anyone, stop being ‘angry at the world’ and rather ask and investigate within what this anger represents within us, where are we abdicating our responsibility to stop the very thoughts that apparently ‘no one else sees’ in our minds, yet affect the core and essence of who we are, because each time we ‘give into our minds’ we become more trapped in our own ‘mind control’ in our own delusional self that is this energetic egotistical experience that we call ‘ourselves’, which is in fact the origin and cause of this ‘escalation’ happening around the world, and it’s here as consequences for all of us to Wake UP – or give into the lower version of ourselves that hides in fear, blame, disempowerment or delusional hope for change coming from out there.

I choose to keep focusing on my own life, on the change that I can affect, direct and create every day, because it is also a decision to keep feeding ourselves with all kinds of ‘gloom and doom’ that is available in the media every single day, feeding only ‘worst case scenarios’ to keep people controlled and in fear/ inferior to the situation when in fact, we have more power than we ‘think’ by actually developing our own revolution in our minds, where we stop succumbing to what the ‘airwaves’ are telling us to think and do, and in doing so not allow mind control within ourselves; because ‘Mind Control’ is not something that it is ‘imposed’ onto ourselves, we make it real by accepting it, allowing it within us as ‘how we think’ and making it real by acting upon what one is ‘fed’ as ideas, opinions, beliefs and perceptions that divide and conquer us on a daily basis.

Let’s instead focus on living and redefining words, this is the prime tool for self-creation upon understanding our ability to live words in a supportive way for oneself and for all. This takes however a decision and practical application to decide to become a human being that stands as life, as equality, as oneness, as the potential that we all are yet have buried deeper and deeper inside ourselves every single moment that we gave into an experience of anger, rage, violence, hatred, vengeance or blame towards ‘others’ instead of standing up and owning our actions and the responsibility to it all.

This is yet another opportunity wherein even if facing manifested consequences that may seem inevitable, unable to be changed, we can still decide ‘who we are’ in the face of those situations: do we give into fear and paranoia or do we stand up in self-responsibility and stability, realizing our ability to not be altered or changed ‘by others’ in how we experience ourselves, in the decisions we make.

Who we are in the mind is by now the key to actual change in this world, and what is in the mind but words, images, pictures that we use to create habits and patterns that rule our lives every single moment. Therefore, we cannot focus on what ‘world leaders’ are doing to ‘lead the world to self-destruction’, we have to focus back to ourselves, stop fooling ourselves trying to find culprits for everything that is wrong and instead dare to look within ourselves, live the words: focus on changing our own lives. That’s the key here and not only will be become then ‘immune’ to all kinds of attempts to stir fear and control, but we can also then determine the outcomes of our lives wherein we will know that ‘no matter what’ we can stand and support ourselves, instead of being ‘dragged down’ by the various consequences that are inevitably showing up as our reality individually and collectively.

It’s best to acknowledge it, stop hiding from consequences and be clear in our words and living intent to create and be what’s best for all. That’s a source of stability and self-commitment that I’d recommend anyone to do, to consider walking this process of self-creation in self-responsibility and self-awareness with the Desteni Lite Process , since it is that kind of support and personal investment that no one can ‘take away’ from you, and no ‘thought police’ can remove from your awareness. It’s about learning how to genuinely stand in self-independence while considering the whole, it’s a way to stand in freedom in our minds while at the same time learning how to live in this world system and the consequences we’ve collectively manifested as our reality.

There is no doubt that 1984 has risen to the top of book sales for a reason lately, and Orwell’s intent was to precisely show the importance of who we are in our minds that gives power to all kinds of mechanisms of control out there. So let’s keep in mind that mind control can only exist as such if we accept and allow it within ourselves.

It’s time to stop blaming the news, media, presidents, music, entertainment, videogames, foods, institutions,  governments, god, parents, your wife, your husband, your kids, your body for everything that is wrong in our lives, and start focusing on establishing principles and values that we want to live by in our own lives. That’s the power that we have, let’s use it wisely and see what we can in fact do and become if everyone stands in this same intent, in equality, around the world.

I then choose to see this ‘massive warning’ as an opportunity, a catalyst for self-change and self-investigation, and actually Do the changes that are necessary within us, so:

Let’s do it, clock is ticking.

Thanks for reading

 

Very supportive and timely audios for self-support in self-change upon facing consequences that are not ‘nice’ to face:

Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide – Reptilians – Part 558

Nowhere? Oh Here! – Reptilians – Part 559

 

What am I Creating

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


486. Understanding Our Origin

Or how to stop wondering for truths out there and focus on the potential that we have to develop within ourselves

 

I had a bit of a moment today when starting to translate the series ‘The Secret History of the Universe’ because I remember when I first heard it some 4 and a half years ago, it assisted me a lot to integrate a consideration of ‘where it all started’ as in considering the bigger picture whenever I come to be aware of seemingly big problems or consequences in our reality and remind myself that ‘this is all me, all of it’ – which goes also in conjunction to what I’ve been writing about in terms of manifested consequences and us facing them in our lifetime.

So the moment I had was when voicing this story out loud in Spanish and for the first time spoke that story in my native language, I got a sense of deep sadness within me because of being able to for the first time be sounding/speaking how it all started in this existence and in essence be translating the story of our origins for the first time ever in existence. The sadness came when realizing one thing that is still very much present in our lives and I’ve laid out in hundreds of patterns, behaviors, reactions that we continually create as human beings, and that is our focus on the external, always focusing ‘out there, always pointing our finger at others, wanting to achieve something ‘out there’ instead of focusing within ourselves. 

Missing out our very own self-investigation and awareness of who we really are has in essence led us to where we are now: dazed and confused with seemingly ‘no meaning to our lives’, opting for self-destruction, existing in sado-masochist patterns that we believe give us a sense of personality and good experiences. It’s saddening to see how far we’ve become, but this sadness wasn’t my usual pity-party type of depression and sadness, it was more of a deep realization of how far we’ve taken ourselves to because of missing ourselves out, forgetting about first looking at ‘who we are within’ before trying to make sense of ‘what’s out there’ and ‘others’ and ‘the world systems’ and ‘seeking a meaning’ or trying to make sense of life outside of ourselves.

Translating these first episodes of the series became a grounding reminder of the simplicity of what we’ve missed out in order to genuinely stand as creators of our reality, reminding myself of the importance of this Back To Self approach where we can all make sure to, yes, conduct changes ‘out there’ in the world systems, in the structures and institutions and consider alternatives and the rest of it – but let’s not Forget again about ourselves, about the changes that must happen within as a priority.

What kind of essential changes I’m talking about here? Recognizing ourselves as the creators, the created and the creation of everything that exists and has always ever existed, which means: we are life, in potential that have ‘lost’ ourselves, that have locked out ourselves in our minds and forgetting entirely about our real origin, our real essence, our real ‘who we are’ as life itself.

It becomes a daunting realization when upon hearing the translation of these old documents in existence about our origins as beings, manifestations and expressions how we have always sought Life ‘out there’, completely missing out the fact that there is no origin in Life, we are it. This single realization I had many years ago when first getting starting to investigate the Desteni material and understanding this principle of ourselves as the origin through the excellent article ‘Self is the Origin’ (later on renamed ‘Self is the Organism’) where I got the point that ‘If I cannot find the origin, I must be the origin.’ And it’s interesting because as much as one can ‘intellectualize’ this realization of what this means as the ‘oneness and equality’ principle and reality in which everything already exists as, throughout the years it ‘clicks’ differently as in hitting different cores in my being so to speak – and for a lack of a better way to say it – in relation to that seeing with real eyes/realizing what it means that we create a concept, a separate idea of what life is, of what this origin or source of everything is and in that single ‘mind-split’ idea, we have accepted and allowed ourselves/myself to create reality as we know it now, ourselves as the characters, personalities, relationships that we’ve become, lost and confused missing out on the core and essence that exists in every one of us as a living potential that we have to develop and decide to act upon in order to equalize ourselves to that life and substance in which everything exists – not for the sake of creating any ‘experience’ or self-definition of course, but for the sake of living in the way that we always should have from the beginning: no longer seeking to know ‘out there’ or obtain an experience, a ‘something’ or ‘someone’ outside of ourselves, but actually learning to embody and live as the creators of everything that is here, one by one.

Who we have become as humanity with our plethora of problems and situations that need correction is nothing else but the consequence of each one of us forgetting who we really are as this source/origin as life itself, to the point where we have diminished and locked ourselves out through layers of separation that we now have to walk through in the process of self-investigation in our minds, in our bodies through writing, self forgiveness, self-honesty, developing practical solutions that stand within the principle of what is best for all and common sense. This process that has opened up on Earth for now a bit over 10 years is here for all of us to realize ourselves and apply/live the essential understanding of what we really are and can be capable of if we stand one by one living these principles to take responsibility for our creations and so start aligning, correcting, fixing, discarding that which is not supportive from within ourselves first.

This is the key that I wanted to make sure I can share again in a more holistic way and in consonance with a part of our history that had not been ever available to us as human beings until now. It should be then a reminder of the fascinating times we are having the privilege of living in and experiencing in full awareness, of this opportunity to for the first time after eons of time to really live as the potential that we are all embodying in our minds, in our bodies and in our beingness.

A way to honor this time in our lives, is to acknowledge this ongoing process of self-realization from consciousness to life awareness, from living only in the mind to realizing ourselves as life here in the physical and so, understand in its totality the actual gift we are existing as if we decide to direct ourselves to be part of this reality in self-responsibility to live as the equal creators that we are and have been all along. This is the time to stop playing the victims, the slaves, the subdued and captive beings that had ‘no choice.’ We have a choice: do we want to be part of the new phase in this existence of life in oneness and equality and what’s best for all or do we want to remain locked in self-deception according to ideas of consciousness, of our minds based on relationships of separation and self-diminishment?

To me, that question has a no brainer answer. I stand for and as life myself and I am committing myself to my own personal change and self-investigation to continue understanding the many of ways in which we have separated ourselves and decimated our potential based on our acceptance and allowance of seeking ‘something out there’ or only focusing ‘on others’ or seeking to change something ‘out there’ instead of understanding the core principle of what it means to in fact be one and equal and our individual responsibility and so empowerment that exists within that principle.

I can understand this might sound a bit too ‘out there’ for a regular reader of this blog, but another realization I had when doing that interview is how we all can ‘relate to it’ as it is pertaining to the core, essence and origins of who we really are = there’s no one that could not relate to it, because it’s the story of our origins.

Here two very simple points that we have been repeating from the beginning of our existence that we have to correct within each one of us from the get go:

1.      Stop focusing on ‘out there’ as a starting point for change, self is the origin therefore self must be the change.

 

2.      Stop seeking answers, truths or ‘supreme concepts’ outside of ourselves. Life is not in any separate point from ourselves, it is Here as ourselves, as everything and everyone, we simply have to learn how to LIVE as Life of oneness and equality as what’s best for all in this reality, practically, moment by moment in who we are. That is this journey form consciousness to life awareness.

 

This is also to ensure I don’t ‘godify’ this or turn it into some ‘superior’ realization within me, because that would recreate the eyes as consciousness of separation, of ‘superiority and inferiority’ in which we have created the plethora of belief systems like religions and philosophies that create truths ‘out there’ instead of rather investigating oneself and in a principled manner see how can one, individually and so collectively, live and embody the actual principles of life and develop it as ourselves so that the more we stand in self-awareness, the more this uncovering of our truth will take place.

 

This is thus nothing ‘nice’ or ‘pretty’ or ‘marvelous’, this is both a daunting realization and the most fortunate one at the same time – we decide what we make of it through our own stance, who we decide to be and stand as in the context of our reality.

 

Let’s realize who we are as the everything that is here and see how much we have limited ourselves in ideas, beliefs, experiences, perceptions, judgments, characters, opinions, religious systems, sciences, philosophies  that more often than not keep pointing our focus ‘out there’ somewhere separate from us and not really looking within ourselves. That’s the challenge here I share with everyone: let’s focus on ourselves, let’s stop having other people in our minds, let’s focus on our own lives again, let’s investigate our own lives as a past-time instead of seeking entertainments ‘out there’ or seeking for a ‘meaning of life’ in spirituality or religions, when it is all in fact Here as oneself already, we simply have to learn to live that potential, one by one.

 

Change is something inevitable when one amplifies one’s understanding about who one really is and getting to know the whole history behind it. Therefore once again, I can only recommend investigating and investing in the Eqafe.com audio and video material, because this is information that can change your life forever if you do so genuinely want to stand up for something that goes beyond ‘us’ as ego, as personalities or characters, but stands aligned within a potential that is best for all life, because it is living as the potential that is dormant inside us: we have to wake up, we have to develop it, we have to do the necessary work to understand it, change it and so live fully – it’s up to us, it’s our choice and decision to stop the delusions and act according to who we really are.

Join us in this journey

 

Thanks for reading

 

 

Check out this series and its first episodes:

The Secret History of the Universe Series

 

We are everything as equals 08

 

Learn how to stand as life, as a real creator:


453. Raining Down on Everyone’s Parade

 

I had a very revealing dream to myself this night and it’s interesting because I had a brief episode of sickness yesterday and slept quite a long time and I remember seeing this one dream closer to the time of waking up. Anyways what this dream reveals to myself, to the T, is that one aspect of myself that I have seen exists in me in a very almost self-sabotaging manner when it comes to embracing the ‘good stuff’ in life. Throughout these years I’ve shared how I have had a tendency to be comfortable in all things gloom and doom. That’s just how some of us have wired ourselves wherein instead of seeking comfort in the positive and nice fluffy things, we create a comfort in seeing everything wrong, incapable of changing, in a way yes existing in defeatism and seeing ‘no way out’, which I’ve come to understand is a way of yes giving up and not doing the actual work it entails to get things working out, to create something, to move on, to develop, to persevere with what we see in common sense is best for all and so ourselves.

Some of the most obvious aspects of this tendency to remaining in ‘all things gloom and doom’ I have been able to be deliberately changing and you know what, that has been one difficult thing for me to do, because it involves deliberately sticking to see the potential in everything, to deliberately create ways to establish solutions, to deliberately push through something until completion and not giving up on me or others, or life itself.

What emerged in the dream though is something that I had not entirely been able to pin-point even though I’ve been ‘in it’ for I’d say my whole life. How to define this experience in me? How I’ve experienced it and it became this very puzzling sensation in me is how even while being in the most supportive environments on earth, I could not entirely embrace that which I perceived as happiness or wellbeing or enjoyment around me, I FELT that it was quite a fake thing to embrace that expression and potential in me because of thinking/going into my mind and assessing: “hey look at the world, this is not a happy go lucky place, people, animals, life is suffering, what the hell am I doing here just trying to ‘be happy’ and joyful?” This is really not a nice experience because it’s like you can see others genuinely expressing themselves and being enjoying things but I just couldn’t, because of this ‘thorn’ like experience that I had wherein even if at a logical level it made sense and it was cool, there was this something in my experience that would just not embrace it.

This is exactly that one little stingy thing that has been ‘here as myself’ for so long and I hadn’t been able to point it out before, because it’s constantly there, it’s underlying most of the time in my every moment and interaction and how I spot it is how one kind of rejoices when things are going wrong in a way, when more gloom and doom exists and how I get into this very ‘uncomfortable’ experience when seeing growth, development, expansion, potentials, wellbeing… I know, it is even a bit shameful to say so because I have been deliberately advocating for that wellbeing, but I most of the times kept only those that are mostly currently disenfranchised to be given that wellbeing, I have not been entirely including myself in that wellbeing to be honest, I have desired it for others that are having a real bad time on Earth and that’s it. In a way, secretly desiring that the rest of us rather get ‘lemons in life’ for the assholes we’ve been to everyone else that we’ve left behind. Yes, this is a vengeance construct that includes me as the one that shouldn’t be able to ‘enjoy’ anything in life because of who we’ve been and what we’ve created. Yes, this can also be more like a form of punishment, but I here also realize that it doesn’t work as a ‘learning lesson’ if I genuinely wanted to change me and others, we’ve had tons of consequence in this world and we haven’t yet ‘had enough’ of it it seems. So, my logic is all wrong in this case.

But here, what I just wrote above is how we go making up excuses and pointing others as the cause and masking ‘good causes’ with a deep desire for things going wrong in a way, a part of myself has existed as that where whenever there’s any opportunity to ‘plan’ or ‘project’ very cool stuff for others in this world, I just can’t, I blank out, I cannot see further and find it even as too much of an ‘illusion’ to go into such kind of ideas or potentials, and that’s why I have focused on what’s here in the moment, the day to work with but still find it difficult to have this ‘blank slate’ and paint my perfect picture even if I could, even if the world was in that ready-for-creation state… and this as I see it can only mean that I don’t know yet, because I haven’t created it yet and I have to stop seeing it as this very evil/bad thing of myself to freeze out in all things good and potential and not being able to kind of ‘compute’ to it or embrace it, because I haven’t been doing that for myself yet, I haven’t let go of this other ‘vein’ that runs through me that wants to keep everything in a fucked-up status-quo. Yes, not the best thing to say or consider isn’t it? But I have also seen that even if we don’t want to admit this to ourselves, this is how we are wired in our minds for the most part when we are not self-directive, we drive ourselves to an inherent self-sabotage because we actually don’t want to do the work, the effort, the discipline, the changes required to truly embrace and nurture that potential in ourselves… in a way, we want to keep ourselves as addicts of the bad life, in whichever way or form it exists for each one of us.

Is this sad and shameful to realize? Yes it is for myself, absolutely, I was ashamed the moment that I realized in my dream how I was attempting to deliberately ‘bring others down with me’ because of my experience, instead of being the one that steps up to change myself, my experience in that moment and let go of my self-definitions and limitations.

If anything this is what I can define as the ‘evil’ inside me, that can’t rejoice in all things constructive and positive and expansive and supportive, but always awaits to see something going down again, to eventually want it to be broken, to be ‘in the same old’ misery, which is also where it is very much a weird thing for me to say, and this is a part of me that exists in me, that I have been deliberately changing and correcting throughout the years, yet it is still unexplainable if it will ever go away as this underlying experience in me, as the real nature of me that I will have to continually manage and override with a deliberate constant creation of the me that I would be in common sense willing to live and express as myself.

See, why I say the words deliberately creating and considering common sense, because if I didn’t, I would still ‘rather prefer’ – me as the mind – to have things not changing, to stay in a ‘comfort zone’ of self sabotage, of not growing, not expanding, not looking into the future in seeing the potential of what I’d like to be and create – and these are still points I have to look at deeply within me, how even if I am advocating for principled living and doing what’s best, it is something I deliberately do, it’s not natural, I don’t precisely feel ‘comfortable’ doing so all the time and still there are these moments where there’s a part of me that recoils at the notion of something growing, expanding, being happy, cringing at success so to speak…. And I get the image of my grandmother with this, and some other people in my life that I had seen tend to have the same set-up and this is where I realize: I want to stop the cycle of limitation, of pity, of misery, of recoiling at someone else’s thriving experience and here I see how this can be a generational thing as well that we mask with ‘fake gladness’ towards others, yet in the inside it’s like we cannot stand someone’s happiness or wellbeing and thriving… and this is in all cases my definition of that evil that exists in me.

 

 

So yesterday I was chatting with my buddy and I mentioned this point of how there was this interview that was published on Eqafe.com that I absolutely ‘resonated’ with in terms of wanting to get all of the ‘secret stuff’ out in the open to finally see it and acknowledge it, its name is the Consequence of Suppression. And I did tell her in a rhetorical self-questioning, that ‘I’d like to know for myself what those ‘deep secrets’ are’, because there are some say rather ‘meaningless’ stuff that I’ve worked with before in terms of ‘secrets’, but somehow I wasn’t seeing This very point I’ll explain here. So it’s like I made the question and I got a partial answer to it through this dream, which I am quite grateful for.

In this dream I was at my grandmother’s house…. I never liked going there, I didn’t have a good relationship with her either because…. lol! She represented exactly – most likely – this pattern that I am about to explain, so the fact that I was there with my partner and some in my family already was like an interesting set up because I had not dreamed of that house in a long time, even though I didn’t see her there either, she’s dead too. I was told by my mother how we would only make a ‘stop’ there in the house for a short period of time, we were on our way somewhere else, which is why I was ‘ok’ with being there – noticing here already the conditioning aspect. This ‘conditionality’ aspect means to have others do what I say or want based on my preferences, which is one hell of a controlling mechanism that I have imposed onto others around me, big time. Meaning if they said ‘we will be there for a short time’ that should be IT and if other contingencies happen, “I’m sorry, you said this: we must leave now” type of thing.

As we were sitting in the living room, a bunch of unknown species of insects and animals would start flying around and running around, for the most part I would be usually scared of this, but this time I ‘breathed through it’ in the dream, which was interesting even though a part of me just wanted to zap them and get the hell out of there. After that I’d see more people arriving to the house, people I haven’t seen in some years which created some discomfort in me as well, which is revealing too. And the people that were gathering in that same living room had some kids that started running around and in general they were like these ‘good people’ that were happy and enjoying themselves in the moment.

What started happening is that I started just wanting to leave the situation and get away from it all, because it is like the situation was just ‘too perfect’ for ‘me’ as my mind and my experience that almost gets into a discomfort when things are going ‘too well’ in certain situations… yes as weird as it sounds. How I’ve defined it in my mind is that ‘this is too fake, this is too good to be true, I’m out of here’ And in that moment I was expecting my partner to be in that ‘same experience’ but! Nope, actually I’d find him carrying a baby  and playing with the kids and I’d see how he was quite stable and content with it all, so I knew that I would be a real b. if I’d go and tell him to leave them and come away with me and my misery. Some people around me kept trying to interact with me and in a way to make me stay there, but what I saw is how there was a part of me that wanted everyone to just start feeling miserable, bad, negative, to ‘drop the show’ as I perceived it. I wasn’t interested in ‘joining them’ so to speak, no matter how constructive their talks and doings were in that moment.

Then someone else – a male – would take me aside into a different room, a different setting and would simply ask ‘what’s up’? I recognize that question from someone in my life that assisted me a lot to genuinely look inside me and be honest about my experience, so then I would start complaining and half-crying almost like a little kid, all about how ‘everyone was just so happy and well’ and how I wanted everyone to instead consider ME my experience that was uncomfortable in that situation, I wanted everyone to ‘drop their show’ to focus on how I wasn’t doing well, I wanted to stop ‘their good time’ in order to focus on my ‘bad time’ and this is one hell of a pattern in fact.

It reminded me as well of the times when I would throw tantrums as a child for something I perceived my parents forgot to do for me or give me or be there for me, and so whenever they would start apologizing and even giving some stuff to me as a way to redeem themselves, I would throw it all back at them, I would kick and scream and cry and become just really, really irate at the situation. I have explained this before as well and my ‘happiness point’ in that situation was to have them feel like shit for ‘doing this/that to me’ and be terribly sorry and just be at the same level of woe that I was in and ask for forgiveness and stuff like that. So what I wanted in that reunion situation is others to ‘notice me’ and how I feel really bad and almost want to push them to ‘blame themselves’ for ‘making Me feel a certain way.’ Which is what transpired in that situation developing at my grandmother’s home and only when I woke up I kind of pondered how come I hadn’t seen my grandmother there, and saw the obviousness of it… I was embodying that one aspect of her that I completely hated about her, which is related to how even if she had all of her kids with her assisting her, checking up on her constantly, giving her all the money she needed, she would still complain and drown herself into a pity party that was very difficult to get her out of, if not, at all.

So I haven’t actually walked this point for myself, how this aversion I had toward my grandmother is not a childish thing that I created toward her and believing that I am right on that assessment, because sure I have now been able to understand more of her life context and experiences to understand why she was who she was and behaved the way she did. But in me, this almost self-sabotaging experience of wanting to ‘rain down on everyone’s parade’ and have everyone else become equally miserable to My experience… man, that is fucked up to say the least and the ‘frightening’ thing is how this is an underlying experience in me that I hadn’t been able to actually see with clarity.

There had always been this one ‘thing’ as a ‘stuck thorn’ experience that would come up whenever I see anything ‘blooming’ and ‘in happiness’ and in any form of growth, development, expansion… in a deliberate manner I push myself to see the benefits, to see how cool it is that this/that is growing, expanding, enjoying, being just ‘fine’ with themselves and in a situation or environment. Yet me in my experience, like it was in the dream, even if the environment could have been genuinely interesting, comfortable and even inviting for me, I held on to this one bubble of anger, discomfort, resentment point that I was piling up based on how ‘I had been told this was going to be a 5 minute thing, now we seem to be stuck here’ and in a way refusing to ‘give in’ and ‘let go’ of my control aspect, but at the same time almost like wishing and desiring that others could notice how unhappy I was, and have everyone else around me notice that I just wasn’t ‘ok’ as them and so be able to stop their experiences and ‘join me in misery’.

Upon sharing this out loud to my partner I see that this has been that one ‘thorn’ that I’ve experienced basically everywhere and in everything where it seems I cannot genuinely enjoy something, that I cannot fully embrace something that is entirely supportive. And here it is not a point of deserving or anything like that… it is just this constant if I can call it ‘evil’ as a reverse of life really because it creates  a comfort in anything that is not yet ‘there’ in an utmost potential of my own self experience and that of others and everything around me… and how I have assessed it through my mind is that ‘it feels fake, too good to be true, that’s just not how life is’ and in this underlying experience, almost always expecting things to keep going wrong, to keep struggling even though I myself in my directive self and the self that I am deliberately creating for me is well aware of how detrimental is for us to keep ‘falling’ on the same crap, really. Yet I see that there is still this part of me, very suppressed, very ingrained, very underlying but still constantly there where I just can’t seem to be able to enjoy myself fully and completely, I just can’t seem myself to even push myself to envision/visualize myself having ‘all that I need’ in a way that I guess many people can constantly dream of as their ‘perfect lives…’ I don’t have that and I see that as much as I have had moments of genuine enjoyment, there are some ‘wirings’ in me that tell me how that is not real, that is just a passing situation, that is not the reality of life on earth and so kind of eventually suppressing it in a way to keep within this ‘stuckness’ comfort of almost being in this ‘ever-developing’ phase where I can’t seem to fully breakthrough to constructive and supportive stuff, because of how I’ve Defined it as ‘unreal’ as ‘fake’ as ‘not true’ and ‘not congruent’ to the rest of life on Earth.

Though in common sense, why would I want others to be constantly miserable as a way to realize what we’ve done to ourselves and so what needs to be changed? It is not necessary, if anything that stage of being at our ‘very dark bottom of the pit’ is nothing else but a stage from which we have to eventually step out of.  And this is where I know I deliberately place these words because they make sense and it’s the kind of expression I want – as in self-corrected me – to continue nurturing and growing in myself, but if I wrote here as the me that has always been here as ‘my real nature’ so to speak… I would not be bothering, at all.

Therefore how I use the word deliberate as a guiding point for me, realizing I am doing this willingly and deliberately and how it doesn’t come easy because it feels so unnatural, so ‘not me’ but this is precisely the part of me that I consider we all have and that we have to in a way starve to death, we don’t have to feed it anymore and so instead grow, nurture our other aspect of ourselves, that little bit where potential exists, where thriving exists.

And this is also that came up as well when I was recording this hangout of Black Mirror’s season 3, episode Nosedive and this might even be actually a very supportive thing for me to learn to see how others related to the same episode and so use it to reflect a lot more back into myself as to why I became what I became before and so here how to continually and deliberately expand into creating the self that I see is most supportive and constructive for myself and others in equality. We all have that potential, we have to make a deliberate decision to see what do we want to keep supportive within ourselves? The evil, the constructive and supportive or ‘good’ for a lack of better word?  Up to me.

 

Learn and walk with us how to Embrace and Create Life here:

 

Photo of my niece by me, hope she doesn’t mind!


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