Category Archives: disease

362. Water is a Human Right | Equal Money

 

How did we go from establishing our civilizations around rivers, deifying water and understanding it as the sacred element of life that it is to the current  condition that we exist as when it comes to knowing yet neglecting all the various ways in which we are depleting, polluting, privatizing and squandering our fresh water resources without considering the definitive actions that we must implement to stop this crime against life if we want to ensure Life continues in this world.  Water is  Human Right, why is it not yet determined as such in the Declaration of Human Rights ?

 

Continuing with:

 

Problem                                              

  • We have made of water an asset, a product that has become a discord and point of further control to limit the lives of the majority while enhancing the lives of a few – this is permitted because of the current economic and political system where the following problems are causing more deaths and degradation than wars worldwide:

1.1 Billion without water - EMC - Equality Money

      Demographics:

      • Since 1950 the world population has doubled and water use has tripled
      • Only 20% of the world population enjoys access to running water; over one billion people in developing countries have inadequate access to water
      • The average American individual uses 100 to 176 gallons of water per day; in contrast, the average African family uses 5 gallons of water per day
      • At least 1 billion people must walk 3 hours or more to obtain drinking water; individuals spend more than 200 million hours per day walking to collect water from distant, often polluted sources

 

Pollution:
  • Human beings cannot survive without water – yet over 1 Billion people lack access to potable drinking water which is the first cause of death due to people having to drink from polluted rivers and lakes where all forms of waste and bacteria exist.

  • Not only human beings lack water, all forms of life are currently also not having access to clean waters in rivers and lakes which have become the sewage for industries, entire cities as well as all the chemicals used for agricultural purposes. All of these contaminated waters are used, at the same time,  to water crops which means we are essentially eating our toxic waste in our food. This vital liquid is now permeated with all these relationships of abuse – profiteering, control, subjugation, power – that we have formed toward the substance that conforms most of our physical body; our water is contaminated now in the deep ocean where fish are found with bits of plastic and dying from all the bits consumed – the same way that children and people are forced to drink from polluted rivers because water is so expensive or simply non existent in their locality.

 

  • In the world, we pump 30 billion gallons of ground water every single day.

  • Metrics:

  • 1 ton of grain requires 1,000 tons of water, 1 slice of cantaloupe requires 40 gallons of water, an 8 ounce serving of steak requires 1,232 gallons; 1 pound of pork requires 1,630 gallons
  • Agriculture can consume 75 to 90% of a region’s available water
  • One inch of rain falling on one acre of land is equal to roughly 27,154 gallons of water
  • 1 Microchip takes 32 liters

 

  • The world’s water consumption rate is doubling every 20 years, outpacing by two times the rate of population growth. With persistent regional droughts, shifts of the growing population to urban coastal cities, and the water needed for industrial growth, it is projected that by the year 2025 water demand will exceed supply by 56%
  • Despite being the most common substance on earth, 97% is seawater and unfit for human use. Two thirds of the fresh water is locked up in glaciers leaving only 1% of the earth’s water for human consumption; this 1% is increasingly threatened by pollution

 

  • We are pumping 50 times more water in the world, which means we are breaking the cycle of percolation in which the water is filtered through all the ground to restore the aquifers in a certain period of time. This isn’t being respected and just as any other energetic resource or animal that we kill to consume before it replenishes its reproductive cycle, we are over consuming water faster than it is extracted and replenished, which shows how we have caved our own pit of drought and scarcity: we haven’t yet learned how to respect the natural cycles of this physical world.

 

  •   The pollution has created the loss of water quality, which means that there are no more minerals and nutrients that would come from the soil that would benefit our physical body– we are tampering our own quality living by denying water to those that need it, by using it indiscriminately and pollute it without any responsibility.

 

    Health:

  • Of the 37 major diseases in developing countries, 21 are water and sanitation related; no single type of intervention has greater overall impact upon the national development and public health than does the provision of safe drinking water and the proper disposal of human excreta
  • The United Nations estimates that by 2025 30% of the world population in 50 countries will face water shortages
  • The World Health Organization estimates that water related diseases account for 80% of all sicknesses in the developing world and claim approximately 5 million lives each year
  • If no action is taken to meet basic water needs, as many as 135 million people may die from water-related diseases by 2020
  • At any given time, half the people in developing countries are suffering from water-related diseases
  • Sources: The Economist, the National Geographic Society, USAID studies, The Pacific Institute, Global Development Research Center and the United States Geological Survey.

    http://www.theworldwater.org/water_facts.php

     

 

  • This is all the result of the absolute separation we have created in our reality and world-system “development,” where we have imposed our exigencies to the environment and wanting it to adapt to our lifestyles instead of Ourselves being the ones that adapt to what we have available in this world at a local level.

 

 

Politics and Corporate Power:

  • Privatization is the worst crime against humanity that has been going on since the 1990’s when the ability for corporations to own this vital resource comes along with all the ‘free market’ endeavors in our capitalistic system, wherein the right to property is secured for those that have the capital to buy territory, regardless of any law or regulation that implies certain areas are meant to be part of the local patrimony and reserves. The process of claiming the right to the land that is being exploited to obtain water  is conducted in violent ways  including coup d’états and armed conflicts in order to subjugate people and accept the privatization of water . This was adopted during the Thatcher administration in the UK and from there, it was accepted worldwide as a way to implement Neoliberalism tactics with this vital resources that in the past 25 years has become another profitable and valuable asset just as oil or any other source of Energy.  This included tariff free tactics that harm the locality in the worst way since it is an ‘open key’ to poor nation’s resources when it comes to having these major corporations invading a territory, buying it and extracting everything they can and need from it without any local intervention. In 1992 the UN declares that Water is Not a Right but a Commodity.

 

  • Transnational Corporations have become the owners of water by the aid of the World Trade Organization known as ‘The Quad’  who are the United States, Canada, Japan en the European Union. There’s been demonstrations/protests that have lead to deaths of people through these new colonization processes that entail the use of power and control over resources that generate profit as opposed to the entitlement to water as a human right –  we have already reached that time when wars are happening due to water, and where more deaths due to the lack, pollution, rights and use to this liquid are taking place every day.

 

  • In Mexico, politicians that have been corporate managers have endowed their ‘businesses’ with unlimited access to resources like electricity and water in order for the company to flourish in this country – this is how a single company is considered to rule an entire nation when having privileges that half of the entire Nation’s population lack: access to potable water without having to pay for it – this is what Coca-Cola became during Fox’s administration.
  • In some other countries in Africa, Water is more expensive than coca cola which forces people to drink the ‘unknown ingredients’ beverage instead of having access to water that is being pumped from their own locality but sold to them in plastic bottles.

 

  • Crops and other goods that require a lot of water for their production are exported according to laws of supply and demand, which means that the water is being used to satisfy other country’s necessities and levels of consumption by using resources that are from a locality far away that usually doesn’t benefit at all from such exporting process other than of course, money which is even then a minimum portion of the final revenue that corporations make wherein, for example, selling water in bottles ensures earning thousands of time more money than the original price paid to get the liquid and bottle it up. This is all built in a slave-master relationship where corporations take a hold of territories, use local workforce to establish the necessary plants to make plastic bottles and bottle water up without informing the people of all the toxicity that these processes imply. Corporations like Nestlé pump 200 gallons of water per minute in order to bottle it up without any regulation which makes it loose of any certainty that the final product, such as bottled water, is in fact safe to consume.

 

  • Politics and corruption: 87+ corporations are now investing and taking a hold of the water around the planet, including ground water that is being extracted by buying property. All profit making endeavors lead to seeking new territories to ‘conquer’ where corporations can get a hold of the Water in a particular country.  Even the process of desalination implies that water will be taken from the common property and returned to the people/public in the form of a product to be sold thousands of times more expensive than if they drank it from their faucet, not to mention that the faucet water is meant to be regularly tested whereas there is no regulation whatsoever in bottled water.

 

  • There are multiple problems that come from drinking bottled water and it has become the most popular way to drink it thanks to an effective media-marketing campaign that lacks any proper information to reveal the chemical dangers that drinking bottled water implies, besides the profitable business that it is for the corporations that are absolutely unregulated to sell and export water without any pertinent information that may declare it is in fact purified water – because it isn’t.

 

  • Governmental and Corporate powers have allied to promote water privatization and profitable water business regardless of the known problems that exist when selling water in plastic bottles, but also understanding how this is being accepted and allowed because of lacking information about the actual problems that this causes in health and in the long run causing more expenses in the health sector than any form of profit – yet we don’t seem to grasp the fact that all of this exists due to how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to turn our natural vital resources into commodities.

 

water wars - equal money

 

  • Cities with the largest population don’t have enough water to sustain everyone with a constant availability of the liquid. This is how water is now being brought from states nearby through pipeline systems to supply the ever increasing demand of water.

 

  • Once that water becomes a corporate endeavor, the possession of water is now a matter of economic importance similar to oil, leading to regulations wherein even accumulating the water from the rain is being prohibited by legal systems mostly fixed to suit corporate interests.

 

  • This has lead to public uprisings that have already caused deaths while demanding that corporations stay away from what should be a public good and not a matter of commercial disputes and privatization. It is only in Cochabamba, Bolivia – the same place where McDonalds went bankrupt – that it was possible to expel the transnational Bechtel from trying to privatize the water – this is depicted in the movie También La Lluvia (Even the Rain). However in Paraguay, a similar situation is emerging where now territories are being owned for purposes of privatization with the consent of Paraguay’s parliament, which speaks about again the relationship between corporate lobbyists and governmental powers acting in a profitable manner instead of providing and securing people’s well being and access to water for the people and by the people of that particular area/country.

 

     
  • Water is not mentioned in the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. This means that we haven’t yet made of this vital liquid part of our unalienable human rights. There’s already an organization promoting the addition of the following right to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights promulgated by the United Nations:

    Article 31:

    Everyone has the right to clean and accessible water, adequate for the health and well-being of the individual and family, and no one shall be deprived of such access or quality of water due to individual economic circumstance.


    http://article31.org/

 

Why is it not added? Huge corporate interests tampering the ability to reclaim Water as a Fundamental Human Right – however, the reality is that we haven’t united ourselves to actually implement this at a Constitutional level through democratic means- We are still waiting yet, for how long and how much more detrimental processes will we continue to directly and indirectly participate in before we wake up?

 

  • A problem is also the lack of proposed solutions as this website reveals: “Solutions from the World Water Organization?”
  • “Coming Soon”

http://www.theworldwater.org/water_solutions.php

 

  • The reality is that we are causing all of this water pollution and business-making schemes due to the accepted and allowed separation that we have created toward all of the Earth’s resources, the animal kingdom and ourselves and neglecting the fact that we are in fact equal and one as the living substance that we are all made of. We as human beings should have been the ones that guarded our best interest in equality as life; instead we have turned life into a business making machine where we all want to be winners without realizing that entails creating losers – we are no all  facing the consequences of allowing this at all the levels that we have reviewed here thus far. We caused the problems, we must create the solutions.

 

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    Human cannot Exist without Clean Water - Equal Life Foundation

           

           

          Solutions                                                              

          • The Vital element for Life  – which is Water – Must be a Universal Human Right and a common good; this means that money won’t determine your access to it, nor will it be able to be turned into a profitable business within the Equal Money System that will be implemented according to the Fundamental Human Rights as proposed by the Equal Life Foundation where every human being will be entitled to equal rights to the necessary means to live in dignity as that is what is best for all.

           

          • This can also be acknowledged in a United Nations Convention where it is declared that Water is a Human Right, however as we know rights are not enforced and actually implemented by all nations. Therefore, it must be part of the Global Trust that we can create where no particular nation has control over it other than for equal distribution and management purposes at a local level. No particular administration will be able to influence that which is declared to be a patrimony of every individual who will be entitled to the use and consumption of water in a self-responsible manner, which means proper education and new ways of usage can be implemented to ensure the efficiency in the use of it.

           

          • We have to conduct governmental changes that can put a definitive stop to this abuse stemming from privatization carried out by corporations in conjunction with politicians/ governmental authorities.  Our participation through  direct democratic process to enter the political arena is a necessary step to ensure we, the people, get to settle an agreement where Water becomes a Human Right and as such managed by the Equality Based Governance where it is understood that each one of us will monitor and ensure that the distribution and use of water is conducted in a best for all methodology. It’s already proven that unity, organization and a common effort is the way forward to change our acceptance and allowance of this profitable business that we have turned water into – instead we implement and establish Equal Access to Water within the framework of Basic Fundamental Human Rights and the Equal Money System and Equal Money Capitalism. Having or lacking money won’t determine whether you benefit from it or not.

           

          • This requires necessary changes in all our current living habits beginning with agricultural and industrial practices to ensure that the production processes are not polluting our water, air/ environment since it is the vital cycle of water that must be taken care of and restored to a process where we can obtain the necessary water by respecting the time necessary for it to filter and then be ready for our use and consumption again. Recycling water is an option, but investing in further research on how to obtain water through for example, condensation processes is another option as well as funding any necessary scientific projects to purify water once that there will be no corporate interest tampering this emerging technology to do so.

           

          • It is in our best interest to maximize natural resources’ efficiency, reestablishing and correcting the filtration process of the water in the same soil and territory where it will be used– meaning that we have to ensure we stop transportation of water to maintain central cities that are taking up the most resources from distant places, causing already severe damages to the ecosystems that are having their water being siphoned. This means becoming aware of the destabilization that ensues when we try and ‘give water’ to places where there is non to maintain cities were life is not made sustainable yet.

           

          • We all have to become aware of the habits with regards to water usage, but also understanding the necessary changes in assessing what we need and how we produce it, so that all processes are aligned to resource efficiency along with the necessary water treatment plans to ensure that all necessary preventive measures are established; money won’t be a limitation to not do this and science will be encouraged to find new materials, new means and methods to produce what we require to live.

           

          • Local agriculture in terms of the Food System will enable a region’s water resources to support the local Food Production; this means ensuring that the water are feeding and sustaining the locality instead of being siphoned in exports, disrupting not only the local economy but also the natural cycles of water. Another measure is stopping the creation of dams and instead create alternative ways to retain rain water to enable the hydrologic cycle to re-establish itself  to ensure that the filtration of water through the soil is adequate. Another measure can be limiting housing in particular areas where the amount of water is compromised or non existent – this  will ensure stopping creating unnecessary infrastructure just to please the interests of a minority that are currently possible due to the power that money has. This entails the necessary educational processes in terms of population, buying habits, and use of water in a responsible way, as the vital element to life that it is and must be available for all equally.

           

          • Reform at a Constitutional Level and make the necessary reforms and amendments will make of Water a Fundamental Human Right where Waters are protected from any organization or institution that may want to abuse it for other purposes other than supporting life as what’s best for all.  Corporations won’t exist as profit-making machines, but actual producers of goods that can go re-forming their production processes to be genuinely environmental friendly and quality producers. Water is the key element to live, thus it is in our best collective interest to ensure everyone benefits from water and learns how use it in the most efficient way.

           

          The following is part of the Constitutional Fundamental Human Rights as promulgated by the Equal Life Foundation.

             

            The Fourth Fundamental Human Right is a Fundamental Right as well, because the Human cannot Exist without Clean Water. Thus, Water (also freely Provided by the Earth – except for the part of Purifying it, which is the Human Labour part) – is a Fundamental Human Right that is Not Possible to be Negotiated, Sold or in any other way Used to Diminish Another Human Being. To Do such things is In Fact Human Rights Violations and a Crime.

            DAY 362: Human Rights and the Equal Life Foundation

             

                           

                           

                          Rewards                                                              

                          • Ensuring the quality of our water by our own ability to monitor, manage and ensure the quality and access/distribution of water takes place in a best for all manner is what will enable all of us to stop the current deaths, diseases, birth defects and general water degradation by virtue of our individual cooperation and participation to observe and participate in the managerial processes where we can assure that our well being is in fact taken care of by those that decide to work to manage this collective resource.
                          • No more privatization, no more wars, no more points of control , no more pollution or abuse from corporations dominating this vital resources. Instead all corporations or organizations that decide to work with water will be for the purpose of ensuring the best administration of water, treatment plans and any other emerging technology that will enable us to purify water and make it available for more people until everyone is covered.  This won’t be a business, but a decision to do what is Best for All since that is also implying our own well being is secured and guaranteed such as having sufficient water for everyone to live.

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                          252. Self Forgiveness on UnWholeliness

                          Continuing from:

                           

                          I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live and align myself to the Law of the Physical that Governs who we are/ what we are as a complete, perfect awareness as Law and instead, having followed through with laws that have been created by/ through the mind that does not have any regard for the physical, but only use it as a resource for its own functioning and survival, which is how and why we have led us to the current problem in this world/ reality, because we have followed the mind-made laws instead of having observed the physical and aligned ourselves to it/ as part of it, as an equal-system of perfect symbiotic relationships.

                          Nature and Symbiosis

                          When left to operate naturally, the plant and animal world exist in a symbiotic relationship with each other. Symbiosis is, in essence, a giving and receiving – a form of value exchange. When all parts of nature are allowed to exist in a symbiotic way – they together exist as a massive and complex life-support system, which human beings are meant to be a part of.

                          A profit-driven system has altered how we view and participate in nature, where we have started to take more than we require and virtually stopped giving back, hereby disrupting the balancing effect nature requires in order to be able to perform its function as a symbiotic life-support system.

                          source: equalmoney.org

                          Text quoted in Bernard Poolman’s blog Creation’s Journey To Life  Day 252*

                          “The Law of the Physical that Governs the Physical – is Complete, Perfect, Awareness as Law. Thus, it Functions Equally for All in Every Way. Originally the Earth was a Planet of Sound, which means: Wholeness, which Inherently Existed as All the Laws of Wholeness.”

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the laws of the physical out of ignorance, wherein I adopted the way of conceiving laws and regulations based on self interest, based on a monetary system that hasn’t functioned at the best interest of all – disregarding the basic functions that have enabled fauna and flora and this entire ecosystem as the Earth to continue existing, which is the ability to freely get/ obtain the resources that are required to live, and that it is us as human beings that have violated such rules in the name of personal gain and self interest as greed, which means we violated the laws of the physical and as such, are facing the consequences of having denied equal access to all our equals in this world to have a dignified living condition.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow through with what was placed as ‘advancements’ and ‘progress’ in our reality, wherein I accepted things as ‘they are’ and believed that there was people behind such decisions ensuring they would be best for all and taking care they would not cause damage/ harm, without realizing that the moment that we created profit/ gain as a form of superiority above other living forms, we created the greatest violation to the physical laws, which is the violation of what is Here, regardless of any mind thinking about it.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to ponder the mind as a greater form of intelligence over any other life form, without realizing that the Mind’s basic functioning is to precisely regard itself as ‘more’ than any other species, which is one of the violations of the Law of the Physical that implies all life forms, all bodies of existence should be equally regarded as Life and embodying such living right in a giving and receiving symbiotic relationship as part of the same organism.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through existing as a mind consciousness system, exist only as self interest that I have believed is who I am and as such, surpassing the law of my being that is Equality and Oneness and only gave head and regard to the thoughts, feelings, emotions, internal conversations as myself, as what is the reality of myself while the world can function without a single being having to think about the world in itself.

                           

                          “With the Introduction of the Mind to Exploit Disharmony for Self-Interest, Wholeness Constituted the Laws necessary to Return it to Harmony Inevitably.
                          Awareness as Wholeness do not Direct, as it Is the Directive Principle through which Those that Live, Equal and One as the Law of Wholeness – would Constitute an Equal and One Reality that will be Harmonious. And Those, that Function in Separation to the Law of Wholeness, which is the Law of Physics – would then Wholly become the Manifestation of their Unholiness, Equal and One.”

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard and impose a mind’s desires, wants and needs upon the Directive Principle of the whole, which invariably leads to disharmony as the harm that we have created through the creation of money as the weapon of abuse  – without realizing that now that we are aware of the source of all our disease/ problems, we have also the key to solve the problems, create solutions and embody such solutions as my directive principle that must be reinstalled as my ability to discern at all times that which is best for all and live it, become it – Within this

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever serve the god of the mind as energy, as the abuse of the physical in itself, which is everything that I have defined as my personality and individual configuration that exists ‘different’ to everyone else apparently, without realizing that in such differentiation and individuality, we stopped working and functioning as a collective and became separated through all forms of ideology, dogma, religions, politics, personalities, races and languages as a form to remain divided and only looking after those that are ‘similar’ to us, surpassing the basic fundamental equality that we all exist as, which is our physical body that we all have and exists in an equal and one manner.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the inherent Evil as human nature, as the reverse of life that the mind represents, is the source of the current consequences that we are facing as humanity, wherein our un-wholeliness as the separation we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, is leading us/ we are leading ourselves to a point of potential annihilation due to having ignored the Law of the Physical as the perfection of equality and oneness – and instead, dared to create perfection standards that can only function within the mind’s drive for perfection for its own benefit individually, but never collectively.

                           

                          I realize that the ‘battle’ we embody as our own physical body with the mind system and all its parts and platforms, represents the ultimate challenge wherein we are having to tame the individual energetic forces that would only seek for individual self interest and instead, deliberately become/ embody the Law of the Physical in all ways as an actual living form – this implies that the process I’m walking is the deliberate decision to be and become a living form that is able to coexist with other living forms as equals – and that, must be taken to a practical living system that must be man made in order to ensure we all abide to this Law of the Physical and never again experience the need to abuse within a mental disorder that leads us to want to be ‘more’ than others’ through abusing the physical for our individual self interest/ benefit.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to violate the laws of the physical in the name of my own self interest, due to a con-formism according to what I would see in reality, and within that, accept my condition of abuser and accepting and allowing to see such abuse as progress, as success and ‘superior’ to other life forms.

                           

                          Inevitably, thus – the Disharmony would Cancel itself Out and the Physical will Return to Harmony. Therefore the Physical do not Act as a Teacher. But Those that Function – using or abusing the Laws: May Learn from it and Change Themselves. Or End-Up in the Chains they Created themselves. It is thus Perfection as a Teacher-Environment. And thus Produce Either Complete, Perfect, Awareness – or Eradicate whatever Cause Disharmony. Within this, Time is Irrelevant.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the purpose of Life is to learn how to Live in Equality/ coexisting with all other life forms and as such, this implies seeing the current ignorance we have all lived as and determine myself to become part of the solution and practically and physically embody that living change from living only as a mind of self interest and greed, to a physical living form that coexists with all other living forms in actual harmony.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually honor the ability to be alive and become aware of what we’ve become and have the tools and solutions to change what we have become, which is then be able to decide to live the decision to become a living-physical form that coexists with all others as equals, sharing responsibilities and also being able to receive in equality, as this is what is the actual gift of life, being able to coexist in perfect harmony with all other life forms as equals.

                           

                           

                          Thus, Realise the Gift of Physical Awareness – so that you may Become Aware. Or by your Own Hand, through Abusing the Laws of Perfection – you Will Exterminate Yourself.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the gift of Physical Awareness and had deemed it as a curse, which is only me as the mind being deliberately placing ignorance as bliss instead of recognizing our physical awareness as the ability to recognize ourselves and as such decide to live according to the perfect ways in which we can coexist if we all come to the realization that it is only in Equality that we can thrive as species that are part of a greater ecosystem that must not be abused for the sake of our personal endeavors as humanity thriving in self interest, but learn how to implement rules and regulations that ensure life is lived according to the Law of the Physical.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully realize the extent of abuse that we’ve imposed the sheer moment that we continue living as individual mind-sets seeking any form of self interest whenever we only care about ourselves as individuals and disregard all living life forms that are equally here and being disregarded in the name of the mind’s self interest as who and what we all have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

                           

                          I commit myself to align my life, my being and the entirety of who I am to the Law of the Physical, which is ensuring that everything that I use my body/ mind/ voice for is to act, do, speak in the name of what is best for all, and that anything less from this is certainly only abuse, which I commit myself to point out and direct every time that it is here as part of my awareness, and that is how awareness becomes the living-tool in order to realize, see and understand how we have gotten ourselves to this point, how to correct every single point of neglect, abuse, separation and as such, live the principle of self-responsibility as myself, as I realize that I cannot ignore the awareness of what is here and the immediate necessity to align myself to the directive principle of the Physical here.

                           

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                          220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

                          Perfect Elitist Enslavement with a belief of Freedom.

                          A branch of the Elitist Character is being able to form/ mold/ shape your ‘personality’ with traits of Your Choice – lol – which is the choice that money is able to spare when you have your life essentially ‘solved’ to not be begging for money on the streets or working and actually ‘earning your money.’  I’m going to be writing about what came to be a mix of an elitist-intellectual-revolutionary/antagonist/libertine character that was mostly sought to be ‘lived’ within my life through and as this kind of fascination to become ‘acculturated’ in the drug scene. Yes, in common sense, a person that is barely able to make money to live cannot possibly suddenly be trying to be fascinated by the effects that chemicals create inside your body, trying to reach some form of bliss/ enlightenment with particular substances, read books and information about it, watch movies on the topic or just hold on a continuous habit of indulging in them, which obviously requires one to have More money than the required to Live in order to pay for pills/ drugs to make You Happy. This is depicted quite well in a book by Brett Easton Ellis Less than Zero.

                           

                          I went to the supermarket yesterday and noticed three guys being quite excited about getting a bottle of Jack Daniels while overhearing one of them saying ‘this place should be run by someone like my dad,’ complaining about the ‘slowness’ of the service to get the bottle, which was barely a 3 minute wait. I could imagine/project or almost predict their entire evening with a bottle of Jack Daniels, most likely ending up puking it out on the toilet, feeling like shit the next day and going with a massive hangover to their top-elitist university nearby. Yes, this is a ubiquitous pattern nowadays, a ‘lifestyle,’  and no it is not criticizing or judging it, this is what we have become: once you have money to cover your basic needs, You SEEK for something more than surviving – because that is already covered.

                           

                          So this is an aspect of the elitist character, because there are many other conditions that lead to drug consumption, which is also the opposite polarity of poverty, which you can read her Huffing makes me Forget My Tummy Aches” based on the street kids that sniff cement or glue in order to mitigate hunger – as well as the toxic paint Romanian kids would sniff in that documentary that I also recommend watching if you haven’ Children Underground. That’s another point to walk in itself, but what I’ll share is from the perspective/ side I got to live in and be most ‘acquainted’ with – so to speak.

                           

                          Drug Culture

                          I made up a conclusion of why Black Metal/ Death Metal brewed mostly in Scandinavian countries – later on in a then flourishing/stable America – that have the best and most stable economy and general well-being, in which I created a hypothesis that because everything was just ‘too fine’ and ‘happy’ in their world, they had to create some form of opposition to balance out the dread of having everything being seemingly fine inside, but the hell inside was not sorted out, as well as becoming aware of the obvious disparity it is to live in a ‘First world’ like that and having wars, poverty, starvation, abuse in any other place in the world;  yes, it is enough to already label us all Mad people to not see the obvious polarized ‘nature’ we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.  This is a similar point in our capitalist societies wherein we are absolutely living in a virtual world wherein things like Depression and Social Phobia have become a lifestyle – and I realize it’s not only a past-century thing, it’s always existed in humanity and the ‘crazy’ people were mostly out skirted in order to not cause any problems to the so-called healthy rest of the population – you can read that in ‘Stultifera Navis’ the First Chapter in Michel Foucault’s Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason. (1988) wherein madness was certainly something that should be kept ‘away’ – nowadays, we’ve embraced it and called it a lifestyle fueled with designer drugs. Wow, really, wow. And why? Because Drugs = Addictions = Constant and Certain Profit Making = Lots of Money.

                          All of this is mixed into a cultural set of identification to a form of escapism due to how Alienated we’ve become from any form of actual understanding of how everything that enables life to be Lived is produced, what it is to work on our own sustenance. Instead we have focused on and then focusing on things that will give you a mental high in the comfort of your 4 walls room, which is how the majority of people are living as in this world.

                          I remember when going to the family doctor when I was a child, he would always have all these pens, notepads, rulers, sticks for your tongue and virtually everything plastic made around the area had names of medicines on them. I am sure you are quite aware of this and I questioned it at the time and my mother explained how the companies would give the doctors money/ commissions if they would sell a particular brand of medicine. I took it as normal since it was quite obvious that we were being sold many things all over the place, so it seemed when simply becoming aware of all the billboards on the streets and the suggestive ways in which to BUY our happiness, our health, our improvement, our sanity.

                           

                          This morning I began hearing more than watching The Marketing of Madness  and I say I begun because I’ve barely gotten to the 3rd part out of 18, but as I was hearing, all this entire network of information was suddenly here for me to realize that I must now write about this. Why? I have had a strange fascination for drugs and madness and this goes as far as when I was a little girl and they would joke-threat me to take me to the Batán, which is/was the most well known mental hospital in a smaller city nearby where I lived. Why? I just liked playing crazy, it became a form of entertainment that’s for sure, it was something staged in order to attract people’s attention, well to freak out my parents and sisters mostly.  To me insane people were quite ‘free’ according to my schemes, which is what mostly fascinated me – why? Hell, All I know is that from the moment I got cable TV – as I’ve mentioned several times in the past, it was the ‘opening of myself to the world’ at the key-point age of 7 years old, I was more aware of the eccentricity of musicians and I would definitely always hear around the house how ‘artists take drugs / get high to look so careless/ free/ expressive’ which is what to everyone’s eyes would Justify their behavior as ‘careless’ = free.  Before that, just playing ‘crazy’ was something that could give me a thrill for doing something ‘out of the ordinary’ which I’ll open up in posts to come.

                           

                          This is quite an extensive topic that I’ve been writing about here and there throughout this process, but it’s been not that long ago when I was busy with some other character that this entire insanity-point came up again, along with realizing the fascination I had with certain ‘alternative cultures’ based on what I grew up reading, watching on TV, learning from ‘artist’s biographies’ of how most of them had some form of insanity, drug addiction or plain disturbance, which is how I almost lead myself to touch upon those fields within a self-aware act of investigating madness and drugs, then defining all of this to be of my preference/likeness = self brainwashing. Why would that be? again, for the reason that I had the time, had the money to not be living only on survival mode and explore my own ‘personal fascinations’ for a while, enough time to now be able to write about everything that I saw, witness, tried out and have realized now when it comes to see how everything that I had thought to be quite a ‘rebellious act’ of the type of stuff that I was into/ that I liked, came to be just another polarity in the system that required my courageous fascination with things that I deemed as ‘forbidden’ in order to entertain myself further, leading me then into spirituality/ seeking god and wanting to mix both. I mean I was quite into researching DMT and Entheogens and all these ‘awakening’ procedures as well as the effects LSD had to ‘see beyond the veil’ and whatnot. My experimentation was not to get Lost or evade my reality, but to find some form of ‘divinity,’ lol this is the ultimate mindfuck that anyone can fall for in this world wherein you can buy anything you want, give it a meaning and call that a talisman for protection – same with drugs:  take it, feel good, realize that you re not ‘mad’ or ‘crazy’ but just an ‘Awakened’ person, yep and there you go: specialness + drugs + money + boredom = perfect slaves on drugs – or as Thom Yorke would write ‘a pig in a cage on antibiotics.’

                           

                          Now, the personal endeavor to write about this is because I immediately noticed there were still reactions when hearing all these drug names, all the movies, books, relationships came to mind and I realized that I had not opened this point up mostly as a point of reservedness and morality according to how it would be seen as ‘insane’ to have some fascination for madness and drugs – both together were like a perfect cocktail for self-debauchery, that is quite ubiquitous in our current culture/ media, which is where I got it all from in the first place. Idolizing junkies is precisely not what I would want to continue perpetuating as a fluffy reaction within me – yes, there are feelings attached to this entire topic – why? That’s what I will find out as I continue writing here – a sense of freedom in a constrictive world? A sense of ‘limitless expression’?  As a result of writing out this, I experimented for sure that there are threads to be walked in order to stop keeping this fascination as part of my little-secrets to keep this bit of a world that I still wanted to be defined by, somehow, because of the entire participation in emotions and feeling when touching upon all things madness, drugs, eccentric behavior and the ‘inextricable human mind,’ which is part of my ability to now be quite thankful to Understand my Mind and be aware of how one can virtually pick any point of fascination according to what one is exposed to, and use it only as a constant point to re-fuel an energetic relationship toward it. This entire aspect is one of those parts of a personality that I became quite infatuated with while developing my emotional/ feeling body, so this is relevant, absolutely relevant to walk.

                           

                          So, I’ll continue with going sharing part of the personal story and writing out Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Realizations about such ‘fascinations’ as mere treats for the mind, which certainly must be stopped so that I expose the entire thing for what it is: just another way to entertain ourselves and pay for it while becoming ‘hooked on drugs’ which is virtually getting ‘hooked on Energy’ wherein the Mind is the only one that benefits.

                           

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                          211. Why is Life a Struggle? Why Can’t All be just HAPPY?

                           
                          We’ve come to neglect the fact that it takes a single decision and agreement to enable a state of well being to all human beings. Any brainwashing propaganda saying ‘We Can’t’ must be categorized as a weapon of mind control , because throughout our investigations we’ve come to understand how it is through massive propaganda systems through the media, that the population ends up being Educated by TV, by Newspapers, by everything which has become part of the ‘collective unconscious’ without anyone being seemingly regulating such aspects that influence us all – is it really? Now, I’m not speaking about conspiracy theories here, it is to realize how we are all aware of how Self Interest as the desire for power/ money complicates everything, leading us from personal trivial desires to ascend/ escalate the ‘social ladder’ or justifying wars in the name of a so-called national defense while regurgitating words that keep the population fearing each other all the time, fearing ending up without any form of money and support, in essence: fearing that their own ‘life’ is able to be turned off in no time.

                           

                          Watch documentaries:  The Power Principle |

                           

                          What Happens when we Don’t give to each other what we would like for ourselves as a basic form of ‘protection and security’ that is always sought by a human being that stems from the preprogrammed design of surviving and essentially, doing all it can to continue living, even if that means killing or consuming everything on his path? This is the history of our human civilization – do we have the power to change it? Of course, we just have to agree that there are basic conditions that we all require to give and receive in Equality in order to live Well*

                          I can attest how the moment one suddenly has no such security as owning your house – even on ‘paper – having enough money to have your ‘usual treats’ or any other vainglory that money brings, one is faced with an uncanny experience that I had never had before in my lifetime back then – since I was 8-10 years old when it happened – and it’s what one would call Depression, no distinct to how the crisis in Capitalism is also dubbed as ‘Depression’ and it only exists as an energetic experience of having little to no energy/ money which causes an emotional state of ‘Depression’ which is simply having a seemingly ‘negative experience’ of anxiety, distress, worry, concern, apathy and general diminishment of your ‘self-esteem’ a.k.a. not getting your happy-meal so to speak to continue escalating in the social standards in society.

                          Why have we even allowed Lack of Money to be a regular condition in this world?
                          Why have we never questioned poverty and ‘depressions’ as an actual disease that must be cured at the root/ source of the problem, which in all cases is the current monetary system?
                          Why have we only managed to ‘mitigate’ the problems that affect us ALL and Con.Form to what is presented as temporary solutions to a lack of money – such as further Debt that sounds like Death wherein you end up rolling on your payroll like a shroud wherein all that is left of you is a piece of flesh and bones that forgot about itself and always sought life, but never lived.

                           

                          The reason Why we are doing this is because we have neglected each other as Equals – hence it is a matter of Education, it is a matter of being willing to step out of the brainwashing that is constant in our society which is nothing else but the sum total of individuals seeking to fulfill their own interest. Call it ‘making a living,’ I call it collective agreement to abuse each other as Life and must be Stopped.

                           

                          Throughout these blog series I’ve investigated my own process of forming and linking the idea of well being, happiness, success to Money and I’ve titled it as the Elitist Character which is the inherent pattern we’ve acquired the moment that we live in this world and learn that only through money we can satisfy ourselves in all aspects – whether it’s the usual love/relationships, business/job and personal spiritual endeavors or simply having the ability to hoard money due to belonging to a certain bloodline-lineage that enables you to have the ‘Time of your life’ from the moment you are born.

                          For the rest of us mortals, we have to simply try and attempt to Succeed as in Sucking out the Life essence o the seed that gives life, following dreams of ‘someday Finally making it’ and spending the rest of our days literally ‘dying to live’ – why is this so? and why is it that the moment that we lack money and we are unable to have a proper living condition and/or meet our usual ‘treats’ that only a few people can afford in this world in fact, we are subsumed into what is called a ‘Negative Experience’ which is similar to the ‘lower vibrations’ that people on  Heaven would define the demon dimension to be like, never realizing the abuse that such standard of ‘heavenly experience’ meant for the Earth and human beings in it (Research: Demons in the Afterlife) The World is in Reverse –and yes, ‘the world is a vampire,’ Billy Corgan, however I would mostly say the Human’s been a vampire serving other greater vampires that have become our regular Empires that will kill and destroy as long as some form of bliss can be obtained from it – isn’t that gory? How we’ve neglected GLORY as the Victory over others through going on a killing spree without any form of mercy?

                          Why have we even accepted the fact that ‘life is a struggle/ life is a fight’ which takes me back to the motto of the Jesuit school I went to: Militia est Vita – yeah, Loyola was a soldier and suddenly saw himself maimed and enlightened with some form of godliness to predicate well being on mankind, did he have to Suffer in order to get such Godly predicament? Points to ponder, not to mention that his legacy  continued throughout  Jesuit schools that are meant to ‘shape leaders’ in this world are anything but affordable for the most of population.

                          To correct and redirect the title of this blog which is a common misconception in our lexicon: Life is not a Struggle, it is Us human beings that have made it a Struggle through the acceptance and allowance of the current world system ‘as is.’ Time for a Revolution? No, time to first debunk our own brainwashing through Writing, Applying and Living Self Forgiveness In Self Honesty – that’s the key to massive liberation from the drive-thru lifestyle behavior and start Valuing that which is REAL as Life, as the Physical.

                           

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never question why it is that I suddenly felt sad and worried all the time as a constant experience only by knowing that we had financial troubles and within this, taking it personal to the level of believing that It would be a solution for them – my parents – not having to pay for my food and education, making it then an entire out of proportion desire to not exist as a fleeting solution in order to ‘wash away’ the worry and concern that I was witnessing in my father, never really considering how it is that in fact it would have only brought further problems.

                          I realize that people committing suicide due to financial problems are taking the easy way out apparently, and see no way to solve the problem – however, there is no way we can escape this world and reality for we will continue coming back into this Earth, and there is no way that one can accept the fact that the future of this world remains locked into a certain self-destructive mode as it is currently, and I also realize that this depends on us, human beings, being willing to step up and Take Responsibility, because if there is something that is neglected at all times throughout our lives whenever we ‘flirt’ with any desire to give up or even ‘leave the Earth’ as in committing suicide, we are deliberately denying and neglecting the responsibility that we all hold toward this world and ourselves as individuals that have accepted and allowed the current world system of debt as the only way to ‘make money,’ instead of agreeing altogether to establish a system that will Provide for All Beings Equally

                          It is already quite clear that we are running only from actually doing all we can in order to establish a solution that will be permanent, and will become the new living-phase of us as humanity for the first time on Earth, since all we have been thus far, is nothing else but slaves serving a greater ‘God’- either metaphorically speaking as in Religions and Spirituality – or literally as the Money that gives us such bliss and joy on Earth.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into extensive fear as a child about losing our house, losing ‘my safety and protection’ and within this, becoming unstable in my personal experience due to believing that having no money meant being close to death and that was it, close to living in poverty as the poor people that I would actually Fear becoming and living on the streets with them and eating what they ate and having to beg for money in order to survive.

                          I realize that this is the reality of fellow human beings that are HERE in this world as myself, and that the only barrier that divides me from realizing myself As Them, is the mind that I have cultivated in order to always seek to benefit me-me-me and never consider the reality of myself as the totality of who and what I am as One and Equal.

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an emotional experience of sadness, worry, concern, anxiety and fear generally when hearing about us not having much money and having our house owned by the bank for a moment which to me felt like suddenly descending from heaven into hell and even though my reality didn’t drastically change, the sheer fact of knowing that ‘We don’t have much money’ became a very bitter phase of my life to go through, wherein I simply desired to  have the nightmare be over, go back to our ‘happy go round’ lives of having money – at least enough to be ‘happy’ – and that was it. However, it was quite a road out  of that huge bump on the road wherein I then became that same instability and inferiority that I cultivated due to not having had enough money at that time to satisfy my desires imprinted and acquired mostly by the media, by wanting to have what my friends had (see 201. Friends of Convenience: for a little piece of Heaven) and as such, believing that I was certainly ‘less than them’ due to not having as much money as they did.

                           

                          When and as I see myself defining who I am according to the amount of money that I have or I don’t have, and creating a negative experience/ positive experience for either occasion, I stop and I breathe. I realize that money should only be a means to Live and have the necessary to have a dignified living – and this means, becoming part of the solution through my own living self-agreement and consideration of supporting myself as life and others equally to step out of the selfish-act of survivalism as the actual point of mind control it represents

                           

                          I commit myself to expose how we can all in fact assist and support each other to establish a world system that can be implemented by the sheer realization that who we are as life is and has always been Here, and that it is the human aspect that has become the very weapon of mass destruction as the imposition of a system that functions upon the abuse of life.

                           

                          I commit myself for Life to stop this carnage, the strain, the worry and constant threat of having no money the next day to live, as I see and realize that the experience of each other is invariably creating the reality that we All Live in. It is impossible to ignore this.

                          Support the Equal Money System 

                          Stand up for Life

                          —- it is not over yet.

                           

                           

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                          I ate myself while trying to be Happy (2012)

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                          162. Either Do it or DIE

                          I had a dream wherein I had applied for a job at a record store, and I was given a certain schedule that I of course had to cover. However I was rather entertained in my reality with something else, I remember I was interacting or moving around with people and as such when the time came for me to go cover my job schedule, I simply decided not to go and the reason in this case was because ‘I didn’t require the money,’ thus I experienced this absolute laxity toward the point of responsibility simply because I was not being guided by survival to do it, which is something that I can see is related to the motivation/ motive-factor as that energetic point that acts like a crutch for me to move.

                          The stagnation and deliberate shoving away of responsibilities is part of this point. I’ve lost the ‘fear’ to not do things and within this, I have self sabotaged myself extensively, simply because all the ‘discipline’ that I had lived was in fact only based on fear and keeping up a reputation that in my mind, I could not ‘afford’ to spoil for one second.

                          When the characters were identified, in my mind I created this point of laxity toward responsibilities, like literally only doing it at the last moment and essentially justifying it – foolishly enough – with me no longer acting out of fear to get things done, but ‘testing my waters’ in relation to my own ‘self-movement’ once that such fear is apparently non existent. And I say ‘apparently’ because it is quite obvious how I actually only turned the tables and went to the opposite of being the ‘on time responsible one’ to be a deliberate procrastinator one. This was all done consciously/ me being aware of it, and the only point that I can see has factored into it is this ‘force’ wherein I have opted to simply give myself away to it and continue placing things aside, postponing it all simply because I don’t perceive such points getting done within a matter of life or death. This reveals to what extent we have only moved when there is either a positive or negative reward and in my case, in the dream, the ‘record store job’ I had always kept in the past as this ‘dream like job’ – even if I am now aware it is not ‘dream-like’ at all – as something that I would do out of pleasure and that was going to apparently only be like an extended hobby. So, in the dream when it came to actually cover my hours, I decided to simply not go and take it as lightly as possible, simply because there was no point ‘behind’ it that was pushing me to do it, to move.

                           

                          The same has happened in many ways within my reality wherein I actually dislike the fact that we have to be threatened in one way or another to move, however even after knowing this, we simply don’t do it.  The words ‘What’s the benefit in it?’ is what comes to mind when looking at ‘points I have to do’ which implies that within such cases I am still ‘expecting’ something good or even something bad coming out of it, and this ‘jaded’ attitude toward consequences is actually another way to not take responsibility for the points that are simply not being done/ not given direction, wherein it is obviously a non-doing situation that cannot possibly be without ‘an experience’ as it is perceived in my mind. I see and realize that it actually has taken quite a hold of myself due to my own deliberate shoving-aside of things that I know I have to do, but I am not doing.

                          So, the dream revealed to me this aspect of ‘necessity’ to do things out of survival – such as a job- while also deliberately neglecting the compromise I had made to actually do the job, which is something that is ‘so unlike me’ in terms of how I used to function in the past as the character of being a responsible person, whereas now that such point is not so automated or triggered out of fear, I see that it is definitely a point of ‘If I don’t change and if  I don’t move, nothing will change and nothing will move.’

                          We got it all in words, I got all the tools, I realize and see the point – so what is this deliberate mindfuck that I’m playing onto myself? Not doing something out of thinking of the future consequences of it, of the actual time that it would take, of the reviews and criticism that it will take, of the several bureaucratic processes that I am supposed to go through, of all the times that I would have to re-write the damn thing, and within that I see how I have in fact squandered more time when deliberately pushing aside this whole thing believing that somehow it could magically be ‘overlooked’ which is ludicrous and fantastic to my awareness at this very moment, how far I have deluded myself.

                          For all actions and inactions there’s a consequence – in my dream I did not get to see the point of not showing up for my job, but I can see how as long as ‘my life didn’t depend on it,’ I would unlikely take it serious, which is absolutely unacceptable, as I had made a contract/ commitment to actually do it, regardless of the money-made and my actual need for it, as well as it being supposed to be this ‘job’ that I liked/ wanted to get at some point early on in my life, which also indicates how we can brainwash ourselves to the utmost degree and believe that we ‘got it all covered,’ and when the seemingly petty points emerge, we can in fact realize that such seemingly ‘small decisions’ turn into massive balls of snow that grow and grow the more time keeps rolling.

                          And this point of consequence can also be observed within the relationship with time and procrastination, how we literally enslave ourselves to this ‘time frame’ wherein actual fear is being built toward the point, unnecessarily so, but because of the amount of energy as resistance/ procrastination that’s been created, we in fact develop it all into this massive ball that is nothing else but our own creation. And this is where in my mind, as the ego, would have wanted to blame it onto everyone else but myself, which is obviously something that cannot possibly exist any further within me.

                           

                          Postponement:  this Force as ourselves as the Mind operate – where in a moment, our habitual Personality would activate and then this Force would be that “physical experience” within oneself of REALLY not WANTING to push through the Personality pattern/habit, but rather continue following the habitually patterned thoughts/internal conversations and behaviour – essentially in that moment the Mind/Consciousness as ourselves as the accepted and allowed self-defined Personality we’ve become, force ourselves into and as Mind-Submission, giving up on ourselves and the opportunity we would have had in that moment if one had simply taken a breath and committed self to the decision of change/realisation and physically, practically completed/done the task/assignment/responsibility.” – Sunette Spies on

                          The FORCE: DAY 161

                           

                           

                          And the nail I have hit my head with today:

                          for example, can look at contexts of:

                          “Postponing with School/University Assignments/Tasks – compromising one’s future and survival in this world system that is, unfortunately at this stage really dependent on establishing a profession/having an education. Obviously yes even though this may not be guaranteed, it should still not be an excuse, reason, justification to not utilize the opportunity you have in this moment to complete your education. You do not know what the Future may bring, and therefore, rather utilize the opportunity you have with education, commit yourself to get it done, so as to not have to face the regret of not utilizing this opportunity you have, later in life. It is here in your life/world, therefore – do it, get it done.” – Sunette Spies

                          Character Dimensions – Practical Application (Part 1): DAY 163

                           

                          This last bit was enough to say Oh mein Gott it is so obviously blatantly here and how it has been deliberately brushed off in order to make it seem like, you know, it’s not relevant, you know I’ll do it later, I’ll Eventually get onto it, I’ll obviously have to get it done. Hence the title wherein it is interesting to see how I can give a dribble and a plethora of excuses as to why I was not doing so, however in the end it is a simple point of choosing to be/become the mind that seeks for a point of comfort/ no ‘problem solving’ type of situation instead of actually realizing how enjoyable it even was to expand myself within getting into academic stuff, this is also related to any habit that was for example supportive and when we stop doing it for an extended period of time, we tend to simply ‘forget’ how we would actually enjoy ourselves writing/ doing/ saying something that we then created a negative-charge to in order to create this infamous procrastination loop.

                           

                          And what’s fascinating is that somehow I managed to procrastinate reading Heaven’s Journey To Life this entire week, and as I re-read this I realized that this is a timeloop obviously otherwise it would not be HERE for me to look at, walk with such blatant and obvious timing support – and self forgiveness for the clear judgmental aspect that arises as I write this out:

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear losing any form of reputation as being a ‘responsible being,’ without realizing that such character was also driven by fear and this is the time wherein I am in fact realizing what self-movement actually is and implies for the very first time and that judging myself for it, won’t do any ‘better’ for it – within this

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will be judged by ‘others’ for not having been consistent within my application, without realizing that I was perfectly aware of it and the deliberateness of it linked to this single point of allowing myself to be ‘driven’ by the force and believing that ‘I had it all sorted out’ which is actually the same point of ‘ignorance is bliss’ that many people may create as positive thinking, without realizing that I was doing exactly the same thing when talking myself out of taking responsibility for a single point that is here as my responsibility to be done, and within this, believe that there is ‘no consequence to it for others, but only myself’ which is also a point of self interest and deliberately shoving aside the fact that I am actually aware of how everything that we do/ don’t do does not only create a consequence for myself, but creates a consequence at the level of the whole  – and within this,

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘lose my ground’ and actually having deliberately created this stance of ‘all is well’ within me wherein apparently I was ‘not caring about it/ about getting something done,’ without actually seeing that the masquerade of ‘all is well’ was stemming from actually seeing the actual fear that created it as the realization of time as consequence being directly proportional to the amount of time I’ve shoved aside this point which is time-looping at a maniac-rate –

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually not even dare to be honest toward myself in relation to actually taking this point ‘by the horns’ because of not wanting to ‘expose’ myself to myself for the actual stupidity that it is to leave a task/ assignment/ evaluation aside believing that somehow it could not be ‘relevant’ to my reality any longer, which is quite the excuse to actually not take responsibility for myself and my creation.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to now that I am writing it out, actually experience a constriction in my chest and experience the heaviness as an energetic experience of fear in relation to seeing how long I have in fact excused myself out of this point and not given proper direction to it within the belief that I would ‘someday’ eventually do it and manage to get it all ‘perfectly done’ as I had done in the past, without considering that the past is not here as myself and that I cannot rely on ‘past patterns’ that require an actual DOING and giving direction to it within my reality, whereas before I would see them as an extension of who I am as such point of taking on a responsibility and committing myself to it.

                           

                          When and as I see myself going into fear/ petrification when realizing the consequences of everything that I’ve done/ haven’t done, I stop and I breathe – I instead direct myself to not over-think about it and create yet another experience toward the pattern of procrastination but instead commit myself to do it, and this is not for the sake of keeping or sustaining an ‘idea’ of myself, but it is in fact part of what I had committed myself to be/ do/ become in my reality, wherein I am in fact then aware that it is a physical point to do within the current system that we live in and that it doesn’t matter if it’s required or not, it is a point for me to take on and ‘get it done’ no matter what, as I see and am aware that it cannot be pushed any further away in time than this.

                           

                          So, I commit myself to get this done and I see and realize that breathing is the point to diffuse the experience within me which is a mix of fear and anxiety that I had managed to cover up with this seemingly ‘stable’ experience within me, while neglecting that it was not really a stable point of who I am but a make-believe stability because of knowing that I had been dragging one single point or various points around for an extended period of time without giving it direction and actually using other points in my reality to distract myself from taking responsibility for it – so another note here:

                           

                          “Distraction – deliberately distracting ourselves with/as the Force of/as the Mind/a Personality, distracting us from/of ourselves, the physical to in/as that moment sabotage an opportunity for/as self-change/self-realisation within ourselves and our worlds. That we’d rather distract ourselves with and as the Mind/Personality, and attempt/try to validate/justify that distraction through and as the extent to which we can talk ourselves/convince ourselves in/as that moment from actually moving ourselves into and as a moment of change/realisation. All of which simply exemplify the nature of/as ourselves as human beings; that we’re deliberately utilizing ourselves as the Mind to not in fact really change, but conveniently only pay attention to our ‘comfort zones’ in the Mind to maintain separation and abdication of responsibility from/of ourselves and our worlds/realities.” – Sunette Spies  on The Force

                           

                          So this entire point that came up in the dream wherein deciding to do the ‘fun thing/ that which I like/ that which made me feel ‘cool’  instead of  actually attending my schedule at the job and taking the point of Self Responsibility. So this is ‘my creations’ within the mindfuckism category, as Scott Cook has accurately coined the term – and it’s something I am definitely aware it’s not cool at all to perpetuate due to the actual extensive amount of energy it takes to keep shoving it aside, without actually ‘tapping’ on to it in the moment and just typing it out.

                          Okay, so this is the beginning of the end of me as the patriotic inhabitant of Procrasti-Nation – and this time it’s either I get it done or I swallow the already created consequences in the moment.

                           

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                          110.The Mad judging the Crazy

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge people that are condemned as socially deranged and mentally disturbed as people that must be ‘put on fire’ as the ultimate punishment for committing acts of murder and/ or terrorism within a society that did not care to, in the first place, see how such a ‘killer mind’ is actually the product of a society wherein we have only conditioned ourselves to get indoctrinated to survive in a world where support is not unconditionally given – thus enslaving each other to only focus on money, having a successful living, aiming at ‘the best’ in the world while we cannot even understand how is it that there are thoughts in our head and why is it that we become emotional at any given moment, which reveals to what extent we have become survivalist robots that do not care at all to educate children to get to know themselves as their own mind first, because we had never even pondered that ‘ourselves’ as adults in this world.

                           

                          Thus it is plain to see how anyone that commits acts of violence and abuse as the result of acting on their own thoughts is in essence, a byproduct of our own ignorance toward our own mind, while deliberately accepting statements such as ‘we can’t do anything to change the world,’ because that would imply actually having to take responsibility for all that we have done and perpetrated in absolute negligence and disregard of what we have accepted and allowed as the decisions we have made in the name of only our personal interest

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to learn from my parents how to judge people that would commit acts of violence such as murderers and terrorists wherein the faces of disgust and disturbance would mean that I had to equally become disgusted at another human being, just because they had done ‘something wrong’ yet never investigating why or how it is that such beings became ‘the villains’ in the story of our every day lie, not realizing that it is through these events that I learned how to fear those that ‘commit violent acts’ and only condemn them, without ever even pondering about their lives, if they had enough support to live as children, if they had been abused or not because that is never questioned by the media, hence not questioned by anyone that is mostly informed/indoctrinated by the media.

                           

                          I realize that the moment that I learned to condemn the so-called ‘social-aberrations,’ I learned to separate myself from them as if they were some type of ‘thing’ that I had to simply be and become disgusted by, never questioning who am I in relation to them, what are they revealing of our nature – and this is primarily because we as children only accept from our parents whatever they say, do and even act like in every single moment. Thus we are directly shaped and molded according to morals that ensure blame is projected at all times toward others, but never pointed back to self in order to take responsibility for that which we have accepted and allowed to continue as the ‘breeding ground’ for humanity, which is clearly a world and society wherein life has never been regarded  at all, wherein words have been used to separate, value and condemn in separation of self, where money dictates who lives and who dies and accordingly, who is able to grow up in a supportive environment or not – which explains how is it that unless we equalize this world into a functional system and society based on equality, we’ll continue to see individuals committing acts of violence as a way to bring attention to the problems in this world, because they clearly see no other way to do it in a society wherein only as shocking as mass murdering people or bombing themselves can make it to the news, while the rest of the daily violence and abuse is only known and heard, but never spoken about because that would imply having to re-assess our humanity itself, without realizing that we have only complied to each other’s rules and regulations as our current governments which are the externalization of a self-interested mind that will create a sense of order on the surface, but never dare to really investigate the so-called ‘human nature’ that is clearly the massive excuse to not have to stop and re-assess our entire lives and world system.

                           

                          Thus, I see and realize that it is actually ‘the mad’ judging ‘the crazy’ because the mad cannot even see how it is that we are living in a world wherein paper, metal and plastic cards along with a set of numbers can define who lives and who starves, a world wherein life is not even considered as equal in all beings but instead abused in the name of bullshit dreams of success and ‘wealth’ that is being massively induced as a drug that people eventually become addicted to, not being able to see to what extent one is able to go to achieve such ‘dream’ and at what cost our very own lives are diminished in the name of an apparent point of ‘power’ that has been made as such by the same belief-systems that parents are born into, later on passed on to the next generation which is how beliefs have been kept ‘alive,’ through institutionalizing lies as legit within the statement ‘but it’s always been this way/ but it’s always been like this/ things have never changed and never will, deal with it,’ which is clearly how we accept to be slaves to a system of ill gotten gains that promotes self-abuse as entertainment, that promotes irresponsibility as freedom and promotes hatred as an honorable action to conduct in the name of ‘pride.’

                           

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  conform to the idea of people creating such a ‘mystery’ out of beings like serial killers, mass murders, bombers/ terrorists and generally mentally disrupted people, wherein ignorance lead me to simply accept it as some kind of ‘flaw’ in a human being’s mind, believing that a ‘crazy’ person was simply a ‘mal-functioning being’ that had no remedy and had to be locked up and never bee seen again in society, wherein I learned how to fear such places because of parents even making fun of sending me there with ‘the rest of the crazy people,’ without realizing how even the apparent subtle jokes create a point of fear toward beings that have clearly not been understood or even been investigated to the core to see how the majority is actually the product of  point of lack or abuse in a world system that should be able to provide and care for all beings equally.

                           

                          Thus I realize that any perceived ‘mentally disturbed’ being as killers, bombers/ terrorists, mass murders and mentally deranged people are nothing but the result of our own fear to face ourselves as our own mind, the fear to realize to what extent a being can be damaged for an entire lifetime because of not having enough food on their table, a decent place to live, proper education, parents that provide actual care because no one has ever really had such points in alignment with a principle that is best for all, which is the reason why this world is ‘as is,’ as we have only cared to prepare ourselves to survive in this world, following the same mechanism transmitted from generation to generation without any form of progress, as the very cause of such stagnation and actual degeneration of humanity was not regarded, was not understood – and that is our own mind which we are now walking in detail within the Desteni I Process to learn how it is that we have become the ‘gods’ in our existence, giving ourselves instructions to kill, strive for a living and be willing to die for the ‘honor’ of those that sustain an empire that thrives upon the abuse of life.

                           

                          I realize that in order to give ourselves a sense of living again, we must walk our entire mind in absolute detail and specificity as I see that it is only through walking our own mind that we can become specific in our own self-creative processes to establish a new ay of living and being and coexisting in this world based on Life in Equality.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never see how whenever my parents would condemn another’s acts, they were trying to ‘show’ me what not to do and what not to be, yet never explaining why there was evil in this world but only managing to explain that people were ‘evil’ because of not having money – thus creating a fear toward people that had no money because of thinking and believing that they would all eventually go violent and try and rob/ kill me because of having ‘more money’ than them – this is an example of how when taking the ‘easy road out’ to explain a child the reason why acts of violence and ‘evil’ take place in society  leads to further fear when only giving an excuse such as ‘poverty’ for evil to exist, without explaining – or even being aware – how this is not a point to fear but to understand from the root cause and as such consider what we have to do in order to establish a solution. Yet, because parents and their parents had never been informed about ‘how the world works,’ the ‘best’ way to educate each other has been through fear, as fear ensures that one would not ‘even get close to’ anyone that would resemble being a stereotypical abusive/ violent person. Yet, what parents don’t realize is that kids grow up with curiosity to get to know ‘why/ how’ people eventually end up being mentally unstable/ disturbed based on the simple principle of being attracted/ fascinated by that which is only condemned and deliberately ostracized, which is how in an attempt to ‘understand’ the criminal minds, we end up making of other human beings a ‘mystery’ to understand as a form of entertainment, without even first realizing how such beings came to be within their world and reality as they are.

                           

                          I see and realize that it is only in a culture of sensationalism that we can become obsessed with beings like serial killers, suicide bombers and mass murderers because of the taboo we’ve made of them, because of not really wanting to explain in the open the actual factors that leads to one being become possessed by their own backchat and commit any atrocities possible in order to make a statement that is a direct consequence of a society wherein life and children are being abused in the name of perpetuating  a system wherein the ever-abusive condition of ‘success’ is all that everyone is blinded with and by, never considering the counter effects that go on within a child that is absolutely incapable of ‘attaining’ or even worse ‘aspiring’ to get to such a position, as money determines who you are and will be for the rest of your life, never even pondering that there is another way to live and exist, which is that which is currently being condemned and crucified by a majority that is not willing to let go of the survival mode-living, because ‘it’s all we’ve ever known’ while having been indoctrinated to protect such self interest at all cost, and oppose anything that would propose such well being to all begins equally, as mind control is so great that Equality as Life is not even able to be conceived by the regular human being mind.

                          This is the example of the extent of our individual brainwashing that has taken place for all time as humanity.

                           

                          We have instructed ourselves to be and become the very judges and executers in a reality wherein money as power and success is revered and praised, ignoring the obvious abuse that enables such fallacy as ‘wealth’ in the world, a society wherein ‘killers, robbers and murderers’ are also characters learned from generation to generation as an apparent ‘easy way’ to ‘cope’ with a reality that is not supporting all beings equally, which should already place an alarm as to what we condemn and the reasons for such people to commit ‘crimes against life’ while only trying to make living, and what we revere and praise as wealth and fame which can only exist upon the abuse of life and beings in order to sustain such airy-fairy heaven that is clearly only running with the resources and labor force of the flesh of the Earth.

                           

                          I commit myself to walk my own patterns of dissociation toward everything that I learned how to ‘condemn’ and at the same, what to praise, what to seek, what to regard as sacred, what to regard as ‘dangerous,’ what to regard as ‘a dream to come true,’ which are all points that I blindly followed as ‘what life is all about,’ keeping myself from side to side fearing to fall in the perceived ‘bad/negative side’ and striving to maintain myself at all times in the ‘good/ positive side of reality.’ Within this

                           

                          I commit myself to expose how it is that we the children become the patterns of fear and limitation, of fanaticism and obsession that exist within the parents, wherein we as children only learn how to adopt such ways because ‘our parents know better,’ only to later on create a massive disappointment when realizing that our parents lied and that they were actually instilling fear within us, which is why kids go into a massive point of shock and inner struggle to cope with the lies that had been taught for years through childhood, and walking them out while living in ‘the real deal’ of a savage reality wherein there are no considerations and/or special regard for beings, as it is just a dog eat dog world wherein everyone is then pushed to follow the ‘rough ways’ of making a living, learning how to deceive, cheat, steal and/or lick someone’s boots in order to be and become ‘successful’ as the ultimate stardom dream that is impulsed by the media that we grow up educating ourselves with.

                           

                          I commit myself to establish a complete new standard of parental education wherein every parent will not be able to even dare to speak about ‘becoming a parent’ without having gone through extensive support and training that can be proven to be reliable enough to bring another kid into this world – within this realizing and considering that we have to being such training with our contemporaries and the new kids as the future parents in this world, as it is through a life-long education base on life in equality that such ‘rigorous measures’ won’t have to exist any longer, as such measures are only a emergency plan to deal with ourselves the spawn of the last drop of preprogrammed beings that were essentially existing only to fuel a system of mind delusions and keep it in place in order to learn how we had to aim for such ‘wondrous world’ as ‘heaven’ while neglecting everything we had to do in order to attain that while on Earth, which means: abusing the earth because all we were looking at was the satisfaction, reward and success obtained from it, but never really caring about the actual abuse that would go on in our pursuit of happiness.

                           

                          I realize that unless we actually move to give ourselves proper direction in consideration of all life in Equality, nothing will move – thus we require to prepare ourselves as individuals as a world-wide team that will be able to provide support for as many beings as possible in order to actually walk a re-educational process that is already beginning with ourselves through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application wherein we get to face our acceptances and allowances as the decisions we have made in the name of our own mind-possession as the selfish interests we have fueled with the blood of the Earth.

                           

                          I commit myself to expose how it is that fears are passed on from generation to generation to segregate and divide humanity to always remain controlled/ limited within a set of beliefs that ensure no one dares to question the current system and only accept it ‘as is,’ which is how when educating ourselves about how we function as humanity, how our reality exists as the result of our own self-created mind control which is what will cease to exist once that we realize that we are on the verge of obliterating everything and everyone on Earth if se do not Stop ‘the old familiar ways’ of indoctrinating children into fear and only instigating a sense of survival that is absolutely unacceptable, considering that we live in a world that has more than enough for beings to coexist in harmony – however because Greed is promoted as self-motivation we haven’t stopped the cycles that perpetuate the same system of abuse.

                           

                          This means that I commit myself to expose the fear labels we have imposed onto one another as a way to never in fact investigate how is it that the so called ‘abject’ in reality is our own abdication of self-responsibility to educate each other in a way that is best for all, simply because what is best for all has Never in fact existed in this world and as such, we are the only ones that can take on this elemental task to de-mentalize a humanity subsumed in fear and shame for what we’ve become.

                           

                          I commit myself to provide support for anyone that is willing to support themselves from the so called mentally unstable and deranged people that have been ostracized and stigmatized within a society that only labels in order to separate themselves from realizing ourselves as the actual cause and breeding-ground to all that is here as this world, which includes all the atrocities that go on on a daily basis as the result of mind possession, just because we haven’t learned how we operate as our own mind, just because we have abused our own physical body to seek for a dream that was imposed in order to keep an enslavement system in place.

                          The time has come to stop the abuse and madness in this world and to point back the finger at ourselves to realize how it is that we are in fact 100% responsible for everything that goes on in this world that is ourselves.

                           

                          Demonology is specialized support for mind possessions through a process of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective application to take responsibility for the accumulation of violent thoughts in nature that have become a threat to the individual and society as a whole.

                          Self-responsibility is at all times the key-point for anyone willing to support themselves, to stop any form of possession that will take an actual consistent process that can only be walked with proper assistance and support available at the forum within Demonology and Desteni.

                          Support the Equal Money System to create a platform of support for all future parents in this world, to understand ourselves and take self-responsibility for our current creation as this world and as such, implement a new living reality on Earth wherein Life will be valued as Equal in all ways.

                           

                          “I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that this Ignorance is Perpetuated by Instructing Children that they Must Learn through their own experiences WITHOUT Realizing that these Experiences will be based on Inadequate training, and thus be Inadequate and that this Will Lead to Inadequate Realizations that Always Justify the Way the World of Ignorance functions, But  because the Characters Build by Parents were instructed to Protect their Ignorance no Matter what Real Practical Common Sense Instruction will be Ignored Unless it leads to Survival and thus Ways to Make Money as Money is Presented to Be the Road to Success for the Ignorant that Must in All Ways Be Protected, as Survival is the Ultimate Fear Parents Instructed, as the Foundation in their Children.”
                          Bernard Poolman*

                           

                           

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                          53: A Clockwork Mindkind–The Evil in Me is the Evil in You

                          When I watched A Clockwork Orange some 10 years ago, I was amused and fascinated at the same time with the entire story, without precisely knowing why I could rejoice in being witnessing Alex’s and his fellow droogs mischievous acts of random violence. The Fact is that for a long time, I thought that Kubrick had left the story in a ‘sellable’ ending compared to the original story in the book, which ends with a grown up matured and reformed Alex encountering himself with another one of his droogs and recalling the ‘good old ultra violent times.’ That seemed like a ‘right’ and socially redemptive ending that Burgess gave to a story filled with an actual accurate depiction of humanity: Evil, Madness, Violence and Vile-Ends to achieve a sense of power and fun.

                           

                          The idea of ‘Humanity is Evil’ has been a constant thought pattern within me, and I can guarantee it has been within YOU as well. It is now that we are witnessing the real Evil of Man coming out from the gutters that we start pondering if we had held ourselves in high pedestals when it comes to claiming any form of ‘goodness’ and ‘benevolence,’ while the current state of the world can prove we have never in fact really showed any true benevolence that we could hold ourselves accountable for. Even more so, any attempt to ‘do good’ as charities, social services, helping the poor and starving is in fact fueling the same evil machinery that has created such conditions in the first place – and for that you must hear all about it here.

                           

                          “While nothing is easier than to denounce the evildoer, nothing is more difficult than to understand him:” Dostoyevsky

                           

                          We get a sense of pleasure from watching evil – here in México it’s very common to have these yellow-press as we call it which shows gruesome and explicitly gory pictures of people that are murdered, ran over, tortured and savaged in one way or another by fellow humans. That sells a lot – and the same goes for Hollywood and all the ultraviolent movies that leave Kubrick’s interpretation of Alex’s violence looking like an artsy Saturday Morning version of evil.

                          Now, what’s the REAL point here: We are willing to witness in others what exists within us. You, reader, cannot possibly deny that you have never ever thought of killing someone or committing the most vile act in one fleeting moment of absolute rage and madness, wherein your entire body becomes possessed by this seemingly unstoppable desire to go out and just destroy or kill something/ someone. And I’m being quite general in the description because the point here is to realize that we can only get a sense of pleasure from an apparent detachment from the representation and ‘acting out’ of what goes on in our heads. Hence, Dostoyevsky was rather kidding himself when thinking that we cannot understand evil, because that would be not wanting to know our true-nature. Yes, that’s the basic ‘shocking’ point for anyone that is willing to read and be Self Honest in this world – in fact, as I’ve mentioned in several blogs in the past, one of the key quotes by Bernard that allowed me to witness the reality of this world and remove – slowly but surely- my ‘veil of sanctity and goodness’ was

                          Self Honesty  is not nice or beautiful” – Bernard Poolman 

                          And this implies that getting to know yourself as who you really are in Self-Honesty, won’t come up as shining gold dust falling from the skies over your head and angels singing about your perfection – Hell, no. It’s quite the contrary and we’ve reached the time that had been explained back in 2007 within the Desteni material that would take place on Earth in the coming years – yes, we are 5 years from that time and it’s now quite settled and going on with full force. One just has to glance at the news of people committing more ‘vile acts’ even in full and broad daylight – like a man trying to rape a woman in a busy street while she was going out to walk her dog.

                           

                          There is no place to hide and you know why? Because such evil is existent in every single one of our minds.

                          Denying it is futile, it is the same as talking to yourself and repeating a 1000 times that ‘you are a good person’ which is obviously stemming from the actual fear that we have experienced toward our own ability to exert our Real Nature, which is Evil in its utmost potential. This is one of the reasons why willing to delve into the pit of your own mind takes a lot of guts, as well as obviously making the commitment to stop both the delusional ‘goodness’ and the rawness of the evil nature within. ‘The Killer in me is the killer in you’  – another  piece of lyrics that to me meant quite a literal sense of reality: we cannot deny the fact that we are fully aware of how our Mind Works – yet we suppress it and deny it behind fake faces and fake smiles to pretend that ‘everything is sugar and spice.’ Really?

                          If we can spot the evil nature of man through our daily news and obvious consequences in this world, why is it so difficult to accept such same nature within ourselves? Is it actual fear of realizing who and what we have become?

                          I am sorry, Mr. F. Dostoyevsky – wherever in this existence you are – but a man that is willing to know oneself would not pretend ‘not to understand’ his inherent nature.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever deny the real nature of myself as a human being that by default emerged into existence as the result of friction that generated the separation that remained as a constant self-experience of division, antagonism, separation and longing toward the whole that I separated myself from in order to become energy that seeks to be ‘more’ than others, and in that be the primary source and origin of all abuse in this world and existence, for I see, realize and understand that for power and control to exist =abuse must exist.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever be resilient to accept the true nature of myself as the inherent nature of ourselves as humanity as Evil, because of having lived as an idea of being a benevolent being that cares about humanity and life and the environment, and it was ‘impossible’ for me to believe that ‘I’ could ever be ‘a mean person,’ which was simply the way to neglect any form of responsibility that I held toward this reality, simply because of being taught to always ‘do good’ which implies that I had to be educated to ‘tame’ my inner nature of actual evil.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to miss the very basics in common sense wherein: if we had to be trained/ educated/ tamed and indoctrinated to ‘do good’ and be ‘good respectable citizens,’ it implies that the actual nature of ourselves was Never of good, benevolence and actual consideration of each other as equals, otherwise, our education from our emergence into this reality would have been based in simply fine-tuning such ‘benevolent nature,’ and it wasn’t like that – we became the very battle within ourselves through constantly having to place ourselves back in the cage of our ‘do good’ mentality, without having any proper explanation to understand WHY we had to always be fearing ‘the bad’ and ‘the evil,’ which only lead me to create fear toward any bad thought that would come into my mind as a child, fearing my own thoughts, dreams and nature, which I learned to mask very well with smiles, ‘doing good’ and sticking to always thinking on ‘the bright side’ of reality, which caused quite an inner conflict when I would become aware of my own nature.

                           

                          I forgive myself that  I have accepted and allowed myself to find a sense of vicarious enjoyment through watching the evil nature portrayed in films, stories, books, villains of any kind as they ‘dare’ to represent that which has always existed as my own nature, but hid and suppressed it out of fear, out of having been taught to always ‘do good’ and ‘stick to the positive thinking,’ which caused me to then only become a concealer of thoughts that would come up in my head, and fear them, believing that some other ‘bad entity’ was responsible for it – hence fearing all the dark and evil as it caused tremendous anxiety to face that which I was taught to stay away from at all cost.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the belief in god, spirits and guardians as a way to ‘keep me safe from evil,’ which would be the way for me to cope with that which I came to only constantly fear because of following the education of my parents who have also been educated in a way to always ‘fear the evil’ and ‘stay away from being a bad person,’ which is how I simply became fearful of all things evil, avoiding it at all cost and resorting to the comforting thought of god as a means to protect myself from my own mind and thoughts that could come up in any given moment, which revealed the actual nature that I existed as, but denied and suppressed which caused an inner-struggle and fascination at the same time for it.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that within ‘thinking positive’ I was actually correcting my real nature as the thoughts that would come up in my head – which now I see and realize is what we have all been doing as  humanity: staying away from the actual nature of ourselves and stigmatizing anyone that would dare to portray the actual evil-nature of ourselves in a blatant and open manner.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a point of fascination toward ‘all things evil’ and malicious at some point because it seemed ‘more real’ to me than the fluffy caramelized version of reality – associated with the pink color – and in that, always wonder WHY I had such a fascination for the rawness of human evil such as serial killers and demon possessions, wars, brutal massacres and everything that could point out that we were able to be evil/ kill others/ do ‘bad things’ that could disturb the world and society, simply because all of it was revealing our own nature.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to keep myself ‘safe’ from ‘evil’ through developing a personality that could be comfortable with seeing ‘the evil’ in others, but never really pondering where and how I was existing in the exact same nature of such evil and how I had repressed it and suppressed it in order to not have to realize the actual reality of myself as my own mind, as who and what I have always been, which is and must not be ‘feared’ but rather walked through a process to ensure that I no longer stand in the pole of being ‘good’ or ‘bad,’ but just a physical being that is able to coexist with others in Equality, which means: the beginning of the separation that instigated the evil in ourselves is able to be stopped and taken to an end with ourselves walking our process of Self-Honesty to ensure that we stop being the cause of evil/ separation and reverse of Life by stopping ourselves from participating in the same mind-set that disregards everything and every other being as one and equal with ourselves.

                           

                          I see, realize and understand that the current evil in humanity is driven as an energetic experience that begins at a thought level – therefore, I ensure that I become aware of every single thought and forgive myself for every single attempt to give head to a thought that implies harm, abuse, desire for power, revenge, superiority and any other form of separation that is only generated the moment that I see others as separate from myself.

                           

                          I see, realize and understand that every-one that is here is myself, and in that, any ‘battle’ that I generate stems from my very own beingness as energy, as thoughts, as a personality that seeks to ‘thrive’ as a mind in individuality – wherein I then take a deep breath and establish my self-directive principle of Life in Equality, as I see and realize that it is only through me stopping all forms of separation at a thought level, that I can begin correcting the inherent accepted and allowed patterns of separation that I’ve imposed onto Life, which has always been here as myself in and as Equality and Oneness.

                           

                          I commit myself to support myself to lay out all that which I have veiled from myself, to not see who and what I have actually become as a mind that exists in separation of the whole – and in that, become the point that stops existing as ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and in that, correct my physically accepted and allowed patterns of separation that can only exist if I give continuation to who I am and exist as within my own mind.

                           

                          “I commit myself to show why and how – the only solution to ourselves, humanity and so this world: is ourselves within ourselves as God/Energy-Authority/Consciousness control of separation, taking responsibility and walk ourselves into and as equality and oneness with and as the physical-body, and eventually this physical existence through and as the process of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application. To, as we stop the separation within, and standing and living absolute equality and oneness as ourselves with and as the physical, we will so stop the separation without, and walk this world/current World-System into and as a System of and as Equality and Oneness, that ensure this world of sacrifice/suffering stop in the name of money, for each to have an equal and one opportunity Life/Living, as we stop the sacrifice/suffering to our own physical-bodies in the name of Energy/Consciousness.” Sunette Spies *

                           

                          For further support: Demonology

                          Desteni

                           

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                          To Understand the Nature of Evil as Ourselves, Study from day ONE the following blog: Heaven’s Journey to Life 

                           


                          Day 50: I Ate Myself Today

                          What does it mean to ‘Feed my obsessions?’ and how is this related to Eating myself? The current understand that we’re getting from the Heaven’s Journey to Life blog, implies that we have in fact been our own parasite as the mind eating away on our very own physical body. It’s fascinating that we reprimand cannibalism – some can even express being utterly disgusted by it – yet we do this to ourselves every single moment that we are existing in our minds, feeding our obsessions as thoughts, feelings, emotions and anything that we can ‘grab onto’ from our reality, which becomes a point of stimulation for ourselves as the mind to hold on to that point, and take it to the level of complete possession wherein ‘who I am’ is no longer here-as-breath, but instead  consuming/depleting myself as the physical body every single moment that I give my breaths away to feed but one single thought, which through repetition and patterns can become an obsession.

                           

                          This pattern of ‘me feeding my obsessions’ has been a great distractor within my reality, wherein one single point of stimulation can divert my attention from here-as-breath, physically present as my body, and into a mind-shift wherein all that I remain doing is ‘thinking’ about that something/someone/event that becomes ‘my point’ to grab onto in order to continue existing only as a mind that thinks and has no-regard whatsoever for HOW it is being fed in itself, which is: through the consumption and transformation of the physical into energy, which is like the way we have violated life of oneness and equality and extracting – just like fracking, drilling, exploiting wells – and transforming it – like refining oil for gas – into a form of energy that is able to serve as fuel for the mind.

                           

                          I had begun exploring this point of judging waste/ garbage outside of myself, without being aware of how I am depleting myself at a physical level by the very participation in the mind as consciousness, within my conscious mind that then activates everything that I exist as within/as my mind consciousness system. This implies that we have all been very busy depleting, consuming and literally eating ourselves whenever we feed our obsessions = whenever we feed our own mind.

                           

                          And, that has been a definitive pattern that I have walked wherein my own ‘diligence’ in other areas, becomes equally diligent within the ‘feeding my obsessions’ point, wherein I won’t stop until I satiate that need – it’s just like vampires, lol, now I see why I would get such a kick out of reading those stories because, the drive for blood was so great that it became almost like an elation in itself to ‘look for it,’ which is quite similar to how we go ‘seeking for love’ and sickening ourselves to the bone by depleting the very physical through that constant feed of obsessions with our own physicality/life substance, which is the very ‘point’ that we have missed as humanity all the way:

                           

                          Our minds consume our physicality

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feed my obsessions’ indiscriminately because it usually generates this exhilaration as a ‘good feeling’ that I have accepted and allowed in the past to exist as ‘reasons to live,’ which implies that I diminished my day to day living to a continuous point that I had to ‘achieve,’ such as attaining a goal, a relationship, going somewhere, experiencing myself in a particular moment or event, which would become a constant conscious thought that I would ‘feed’ every single moment that I wasn’t here-as-breath but only as a mind feeding itself off of my physical body substance, which is the actual ‘fuel’ for the mind – without me ever being aware or even caring enough to ponder: how is it that my mind is being fueled?

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever be afraid and disgusted at cannibalism, without realizing that I am my very own cannibal the moment that I continue participating in the mind while already now knowing that I eat myself, I consume and deplete my very own life substance ever single moment that I give my moment here-as-breath into feeding one single thought that becomes ‘my obsession,’ simply because it generates a ‘good experience’ within me – within this

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that it was ‘okay’ for me to ‘chase my dreams’ because apparently ‘that’s what we as human beings are here on Earth for! To achieve our goals, dreams and greatest illusions!’ and in that, believing that because everyone else is doing it: why can’t I also do it? And so, becoming the perfect preprogrammed organic robot in a society that is specifically built, structured and organized in a way that we are constantly bombarded and stuffed with points that we can generate an obsession for: either a ‘perfect partner/ spiritual soul-mate,’ a pair of shoes, a great restaurant to attend, the ultimate car, some nice vacations in the Bahamas, getting the ultimate games, music, watching movies, attending parties, socializing while consuming anything – and any other point that becomes this ‘constant’ though in our heads that we then agree to ‘work for’ because: it is worth it, we are worth it – which has not become by casualty part of the advertisement’s mottos in order to make it ‘okay’ to feed our obsessions.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect my common sense and shape myself according to what everyone else was doing, which was feeding their obsessions about music, idolizing famous people, wanting to buy lots of clothes, products that would make us ‘feel better’ about ourselves, without ever realizing that: from the moment that we give permission as the acceptance (cause) and allowance (effect) to feed that obsession as an actual desire/ want/ need = we comply to the entire consumerist behavior that is broadly accepted in our society, wherein we have all agreed to ‘feed each other’s obsessions’ through making it ‘okay’ to equate live = consuming, buying, satisfying ourselves with products, things, relationships as life-experiences that we believe is ‘all we’re here for’ when in fact, who and what we have become, is nothing but a machine that is able to justify, excuse and vindicate any means/ ways to obtain its satisfaction as that positive energy that is created the moment that we ‘give into’ our obsessions and don’t stop until we get it.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never realize that I would actually only be obsessed and feeding my obsessions for the actual ‘good feeling’ that I would create within myself, placing aside the common sense that would actually rear its head every time that I would realize that: everything/ everyone that I desired and that had become that point of obsession, was never ‘as good as’ I had ‘Thought’ it would be, because the Idea and belief that I formed about that something/ someone Never matched reality. This implies that I had only been feeding my own mind, through using my physical life substance to do so, in order to make myself ‘feel good’ and in most instances, ‘feel alive’ through feeding my thoughts, feelings and emotions about that something/ someone, wherein I ultimately disregarded the fact that: it was never about ‘them’ but it was only about me-feeding my-own obsessions to make-me ‘feel good’ and reduce my physical body to a single energy-making machine that feeds the mind through depleting itself as life.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use something/ someone as a point of stimulation within my mind that I grab onto as a way to continue perpetuating myself as only an experience generated through thoughts and feelings that I use to ‘feel good’ about myself, thinking that I was actually ‘living’ while desiring/ daydreaming/wanting/ needing – when in fact, all of it was made ‘acceptable’ within ourselves as human beings, through that very initial acceptance of ‘who we are’ as only mind-energy demons that feed off of the physical substance/ life that we are, which we have neglected throughout our entire existence, using it as literally only a physical bait to attract others into our reality, reducing ourselves to a single image-based reality that is virtually only fed-for and specifically manipulated in order to Feed our Minds – but Never consider what we really are as physical beings, beyond a single image in the mind.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having become horrified at the sight of natural resources’ extraction/ exploitation such as fracking, without realizing that I have been doing the exact same thing within my very own physical body, which implies that this world is the exact replica and representation of who we are and what we exist-as within our own minds, which reveals to what extent we have become judges of our own deeds, condemning our very own functioning that we have conveniently veiled ourselves from seeing, because: the truth and reality of who and what we have become, has Nothing to do with light or love, has nothing to do with ‘feeling good’ about a single iota of mind movement that I use in order to satisfy and satiate myself as a mind, because all that I have ever fed is my own mind.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was ‘nurturing myself’ with ‘love’ which is part of the programming that I got fed-with through learning lyrics and complying to the popular culture in a specific ‘branch’ of it, that I deemed would use ‘love’ as a more ‘spiritual’ thing other than just a physical-bait for sex that is understood, without realizing that all forms of obsession are the same, we can simply choose to ‘coat it’ with either chocolate, caramel or nuts and still it is the same thing: a point of obsession that makes me feel ‘good’ about myself and my reality, which is only a reality generated through and by the mind, neglecting at all times the actual physicality that I exist as.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ask forgiveness to my body for what I’ve done to it in the name of feeding my relationship obsessions, I am witnessing the consequences of this continued application throughout my life and all I can say is that I forgive myself for having neglected at all times the fact that I sought myself outside of myself this whole time, while reducing my own physical body to a single instrument of chasing-after that which I wanted to ‘obtain/ get’ to ‘satisfy myself.’

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consume my very own physical body/ life substance every moment that I sought to be ‘fulfilled’ in separation of myself through attaining something/ someone/ going somewhere else – and in this, neglecting every single moment that I lived HERE as myself, as Life in the Physical, which is now what I am walking as myself, in order to establish for the very first time that equal and one relationship with myself as my physical body, now that I’ve realized how I had become the ultimate obsession for ‘something/ someone’ in separation of myself in my mind, while disregarding and completely ignoring myself as my physical body that I am here, as breath as life.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with my own mind as thoughts, feelings and ideas as future projections that I use to instigate a ‘good feeling’/ positive experience within me, which stems from this inherently accepted and allowed perception of myself ‘not being complete/ not being good enough’ wherein I then sought-myself in separation of who I am here-as-breath as the physical. Thus, I stop feeding my obsessions and becoming obese with my own over-eating to fuel my obsessions and mind-addictions in order to feed one single pattern that I, through cultural cultivation, had accepted as ‘who/ what I must aspire to be/become’ which is a ‘satisfied person’ – which implies the saturation of myself of positive energy that seeks to rejuvenate itself as a mind every single moment that such saturation of myself as positive energy goes to a low, which is when I then re-activate my obsession as the mind, neglecting myself here-as-breath – in order to place into motion the extraction of physicality life-substance at the service of the mind-system and Not of myself here-as-breath, as life.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate the act of eating something outside of myself from eating-myself, which implies that the energy-resources that I am ‘craving for’ are in fact mind generated when not having established a physical-relationship with my own physical body to realize, see and understand what is it that I am ‘in-fact’ requiring to eat, and what is simply only a mind-related consumption of food in separation of myself here-as-breath.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘feeding someone else’s obsession’ was in any way some type of sexual innuendo that I would play out in order to have power over others, which I learned through songs and pictures and ideas of what would be ‘enjoyable’ within others, which was only enjoyable within who I am as a mind system that is willing to create the most twisted and bizarre ways of satisfying ourselves as an idea of the mind, as the ego and personality that has never in fact been ourselves here-as-life, as the physical – but only who we are as mind-systems that work in a system of money wherein everything that will give us a ‘high’ is directly linked to having to ‘buy it’ and consume it’ in the name of our personal glory and satisfaction.

                           

                          I commit myself to establish my own relationship with my physical body first and foremost before even attempting to walk with others in equality, as I see and realize that the moment that I miss-myself and instead divert my attention of here-as-breath into the mind as ‘feeding my obsessions’ as future projection, I am in fact only existing in the mind and not here-as-breath. Thus I walk my self-agreement process wherein I make sure that who I am is always here as self, constant and consistently existing as the physical, wherein any single diversion into the mind, is called out into awareness of me here-as-breath to walk Self-Forgiveness here-as-life in order to establish myself as the directive principle of who I am in every single moment.

                           

                          I commit myself to become more aware of what am I feeding myself with as food and going establishing awareness to see how if I am eating is in fact required by my physical body, or if it is only feeding myself as a mind-obsession that is always justifying and excusing its desire/ want/ need for mind fuel as the deification of energy for/ as the mind, while defying and neglecting the physical that must be invariably abused, used and depleted in order to satisfy the mind’s obsessions.

                           

                          I commit myself to stop every single thought that becomes an instant obsession within myself, from a single picture presentation, an ideal of living, a desire to be somewhere else, a desire to be experiencing a particular emotion that I had become so used to in the past as any for of temporary sense of ‘satisfaction’ that would satiate my mind for a while, only leaving me high and dry after a while and asking for more.

                           

                          I commit myself to establish myself from here on as the point that is able to give herself/itself back to Earth wherein the energy that I consume is no longer used to abuse life, but is instead used to support Life as who I am, wherein all that I consume is given back to Earth, Earthing all the energy that I’ve abused and give it back to self.

                           

                          I commit myself to establish a world-system of money – the Equal Money System – wherein we will no longer be brainwashing each other in the name of consumption as buying, consuming, producing and selling that which we know is detrimental to life on Earth, but we currently comply to it because our lives depend on ‘making money to survive,’ which reveals to what extent we have compromised life to this compro = ‘I buy’ in Spanish – mise (miser) and in that, reducing our entire existence to a buy-consume happy-go-lucky living that is absolutely energy-based and Never has been physical awareness and consideration of self-here as life, breathing, walking, physically existing as the flesh and bones, as the organism that simply requires breath and physical substance at the moment to exist.

                           

                          Do we really LOVE or only ( H ) Ate ourselves while doing so?

                          What are we doing to ourselves

                           

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                          Day 49: I Consume Myself – I Worry

                          Erode: gradually destroy or weaken

                          I haven’t discussed much my ‘relationship’ with garbage but I have this constant ‘emotion’ attached every time that I gather the garbage and take it out until the moment that I hand it to the men that take the garbage away, it’s like delivering my sins/ my waste to others in absolute shame and sometimes disgust for having to be this consuming vampire that only knows how to ‘put in’ and ‘put out’ mere waste, which is actually only an idea I’ve created toward excretion as it could be re-used for purposes of supporting the Earth. However when it comes to physical garbage, it’s another thing as I cannot digest that in order to turn it into manure or something like that.

                           

                          I have created a pattern of emotional reaction every time that ‘parties’ take place and disposable cutlery, plates and cups are used without any care – yes, I saw myself distributing some of my ‘washed and stored’ plastic containers to distribute some left over from one of my roommate’s end of school dinner and for a moment I saw that my only concern was not to waste more polyurethane plates ‘in vain’ due to the emotion that I’ve linked to seeing any form of massive waste – yet eventually neglect it and swallow it as if ‘nothing happened.’

                           

                          There’s this ingrained memory of me as a child sticking some ‘ecological’ (lol! I just wrote egological) stamp on the bathroom’s wall indicating that one can place a bucket of water beneath the shower to collect the water that first comes out until it warms up – and while doing this as I was showering I made a habit of imagining how many people would also be showering at the same time in the world and ‘wasting water’ all the way. The relationship I’ve created of myself toward anything that I use is then not an equal and one relationship, I’ve always seen myself as a scavenger and a polluter creating waste. In this, any human activity would be automatically tainted with wondering: ‘holy fuck, how many toilets are required for that? Where will all the garbage from such event will go? How on Earth have we managed to still have running water in our taps?’ and within this seeing my entire existence as a gnawing-beast – this was most of the times as a ‘by default’ thought that then enslaved me to only be existing as this idea of human beings = consuming leeches that produce a lot of waste.

                           

                          It’s quite fascinating that this point came up as I had quite a talk with one of my ex-professors and I noticed that during the chat, I noticed an emotional reaction when reviewing the chemical processes that are involved in art-creation, specifically the etching workshop I spent half of my days in, wherein I accumulated this unspoken guilt for seeing the amount of paper wasted, the type of chemicals/ acids we used, how I was deliberately harming myself at some point – which became quite obvious when I got to the farm and didn’t take proper physical-considerations when working with my hands – and in this general disregard of my own physical body when doing certain jobs/ tasks. This implies not only my human physical body, but the world itself as the one that is bearing the entire fuckup of our personal interests.

                           

                          I would always feel guilty when having to wash a single brush with paint – yet I continued doing it because ‘it is acceptable, others also do it, so it should not be ‘that bad’ for the environment.’ And within this same train-of-thought, I allowed myself to simply shove away all the reactions that I would constantly get when looking at trash cans in art school, when seeing all the chemicals that would go down the drain and realizing that it didn’t matter if there were ‘chemical traps’ installed: there is no way pure water can come out from what I’m disposing down the drain.

                           

                          We have placed the Earth and Earth’s resources at ‘our service,’ wherein it is inevitable to not see ‘abuse’ in everything we do. Art is just a more direct/ tangible experience for me throughout my life experience, from that very first time I used oil paint and I was concerned because I didn’t know where to dispose the turpentine after I was done cleaning my brushes. Everything we do entails a process of consumption which involves: extraction, production, transportation – consumption comprised of the entire buying-selling current drama of economic policies – digestion/ use and excretion/ waste/residues/ left overs that go back to earth – the way that they go back to Earth then implies Earthing back an entire cycle and chain massacre of abuse – it is and has become what ‘life on Earth’ is.

                           

                          We have excused ourselves from being the very origin of the massive crisis that has unfolded since the beginning of our times as human beings, using our physical bodies to generate this energetic experience that we thought was ‘who we are’ and in that, sipping and gnawing the actual physicality into a single stream of energy that served some Heavenly purposes that we were unaware of while here, but were absolutely aware of invariably at some point in between lives.

                           

                          Now that I’ve been reading ‘Heaven’s Journey to Life blog, I realize that these ideas that I had place ‘outwardly’ have been in fact happening within/ as me from the very moment of my inception and conception in this reality – yet, it wasn’t due to the most obvious afore mentioned mechanisms of consumption. This is about how our very own participation in that which we accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, which is our mind and within that very acceptance of feeling/ becoming emotional as something ‘normal,’ I became the very menace to my own physical body. Was I ever aware of this? No. I only accepted the belief and idea of aging due to it being a ‘natural process’ but let’s face it: not many – if not all – ever questioned the effects and consequences of us thinking, existing in constant emotional and feeling turmoil, to the extent where diseases were and have been only looked at from the perspective of an ‘external pathogen agent,’ but never seeing the core an source of it as ourselves. This already implies that we have blamed and used spite as way to ‘wash our hands’ from being the very starting point of virtually all the problems in our current world – wherein it’s easier to believe that ‘they’ are doing something wrong, while there is in fact No ‘they’ = it’s always been ourselves only.

                           

                          Self Forgiveness

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life of creating an emotional reaction toward erosion as pollution, depletion of resources outside of myself through creating worry and concern about trees being cut, us using water on a daily basis to shower, wash, toilets, industrial processes, and get an experience of disgust every time that I have to smell the environment at night, which is revealing that I have existed with a constant reaction toward our consequences, wherein all that I learned to do as a little girl was promoting ‘good things’ related with ecology and environmental preservation, getting absolutely and extremely angry when seeing people littering on the street to the point of boiling up, people burning trash and any other form of general environmental abuse, without ever questioning HOW it is that I am the origin and cause of this massive problem which begins within my own body –

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept myself as a mind that exists as the consequence and result of having abdicated Life and accepted myself to be an become an energy-making machine that requires energy to make energy, which means that the entire process includes erosion and gnawing of the means that produce such energy which is myself as my physical body, by having accepted the use of physicality in the name of an energetic experience, without ever asking/ questioning what effects this would create on a constant basis within my physical body, leading to its inevitable finiteness as absolute depletion of myself as my physical body after having served life to consciousness, the mind system as an energy-making machine every time that I participated in thoughts, feelings, emotions and the identification of myself as ‘my mind.’

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to always see the pollution problem outside of myself, and never daring to see that I am the cause (acceptance) and effect (allowance) of it from the very beginning of myself in my conception as a mind consciousness system and my inception simultaneously within this physical existence wherein I tacitly agreed to be born to die, to be born to exist as an energy-creation machine that seeks constantly energy to continue existing without ever questioning the effects that this process entailed at the long run, not only in my own physical body but as this entire creation / manifested consequence that each one of us is equally responsible for.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react in distress, worry and concern about the effects of our every day living consuming/ wasting activities wherein I usually then carry myself as my own burden to this world, which has been part of the patterns that I ensured I ‘keep myself as’ which became a constant reminder of self deprecation, leading to misanthropy along with any other constant thinking-process that reminded me that ‘I am consuming and polluting the Earth,’ which became a way to only victimize myself and ‘feel less than’ other than actually taking responsibility for me to realize that there are definitive reasons for our current neglect toward life and that such neglect stops by me first directing myself to stop adding ‘more’ waste and depletion by creating an experience out of seeing a polluted world by our own hand. I realize that creating any experience out of it serves no one and it won’t change a thing unless I take responsibility to create a world system wherein money does not define the way products/goods are extracted, produced, transported and distributed –  which means that an entire economical, political, social along with environmental research reform is required in order to stop scavenging the Earth while only caring to make the most money out of it, and disregarding the very life that sustains our current world-system.

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accumulate unspoken guilt and remorse every time that I used chemicals and papers and procedures for art making that I knew would be detrimental to the environment, and instead justified, excused it and neglected it because of believing that ‘everything must have a ‘con’ in itself, there is always a detrimental factor to everything we do, there’s no other way around it’ and in this, thinking that it would not matter as the world was doomed already, in this continuing spiting my own common sense through making it ‘ok’ and ‘acceptable’ which is and has been the story of my life in the face of abuse: making it ‘ok’ and ‘acceptable.’

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make it ‘ok’ to be inhaling harmful acids because of the ‘elders’ making it almost like a point of pride of how they have lost their sense of smell due to their endless years of printmaking which made me believe that ‘If I want to be a ‘serious’ artist, then I must shut up with my environmental complains, because ‘that’s the price to pay’ for it.’ This is part of the usual excuses and justifications wherein we make any form of abuse ‘acceptable’ as that is then seen as part of the ‘passion’ that you have toward your work/ your art, wherein the actual physical body is severely damaged due to the constant contact with harmful substances to the skin, eyes, nose, and or heavy-duty physical tasks wherein all of it is justified in the name of ‘art making.’

                           

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that in this world ‘things can’t be pink all the time,’ which is an excuse that I also accepted whenever becoming aware of any living being being ‘killed softly’ due to harsh work conditions, with long labor-hours with improper conditions to work in and having no other opportunity as ‘that’s all that’s available for them,’ which implies that the living reality that I accepted and allowed was that of absolute detriment to life, and I made it ‘ok’ because ‘that’s how the world works, what can I do about it?’ which came with the same cycle of feeling only worried/ concerned and eventually powerless to make a difference in this world.

                           

                          I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see the animal abuse for factory farming as simply something that ‘had to be done’ in order to feed humans, because that’s the excuse that I was given by parents and teachers which became another point to add on to the list of ‘make it look alright’ and ‘don’t bother to question ‘why’ any further’  within this, making it alright to simply stop caring that much because that’s what I was told: ‘You cannot do anything about it, stop worrying and instead live’ – but then, I continued suppressing the worry without any explanation as to why no one stopped to ponder about these points which became reminders of me being supposedly ‘powerless’ to do anything to change our situation.

                          I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an emotional reaction every time that I gather my garbage up until the moment wherein I give it to the men that take it to the dump, due to feeling guilty for being such a ‘waste’ as in being an organism that is able to produce all of that garbage in a never ending manner, which means that I have simply resorted to ‘feel bad’ about it only, instead of realizing that this entire system can work in a much more sustainable way the moment that we start considering how this entire waste-land that we’ve made of this Earth is directly linked to and the result of our current economic system that does not regard Life in Equality at all – which means that WE are absolutely responsible for it – thus, can absolutely change the way things are done as well.

                          This will continue…

                           

                          I commit myself to, first of all, stop creating any emotion attached to me disposing garbage and taking out the garbage and gathering my own waste, as I see and realize that within such constant worry/ concern that I have accepted as an automated experience toward all things ‘waste’ – from the water that I use for the toilet, to shower, to wash, to the garbage I dispose on a daily basis- I am not making any form of improvement/ change or actual actions that can create an alternative way to produce and live in this world, wherein through me only worrying about it and creating this constant blame and guilt for being a consumer of life, I am only consuming more life as such emotional experience requires me to sip energy from my very own physical body to exist – thus

                           

                          I commit myself to remain here as breath when and as I see myself going into the thought pattern of worrying/ feeling guilty/ feeling shame for consuming and wasting – I stop and I breathe – and realize that I am only ‘thinking’ my own guilt and it does nothing in reality to create a change and a difference as to how we use the resources and how we dispose everything that we do not require any longer.

                           

                          I realize that the actual solution is not through me feeling ‘bad’ in my ‘egological/ ecological personality’ that I have cultivated as a little girl and throughout the years, only compounding a general disgust toward human beings and seeing ourselves as leeches and ticks, sucking the blood out of life and polluting the Earth. I see and realize that there is a solution that must be linked to an entire political, social and economical reform that will give way for science, research and studies that will be committed to create and develop the most functional and real-environmental friendly ways to extract, consume, produce goods and services related to human and animal consumption, which implies that: the moment money will no longer be an obstacle for life-supportive systems, we will be able to start focusing on ourselves as the origin and starting point of all this chain of life decadence due to our primordial acceptance and allowance to only exist as energy-based systems that consume to live, without any practical systems in place to ensure that it is sustainable and renewable in all ways.

                           

                          I commit myself to create the Equal Money System as the one solution that will place ourselves at the level of understanding how it is that we have co-created this reality as our image and likeness within ourselves as our very own physical-body functioning, and in that, within us stopping ourselves from participating in consumerist and careless behaviors, we will start caring and constructing ways that make of this world an actual sustainable environment for Life and stop supporting the idea of the Earth being ‘at our service’ as humanity.

                           

                          I commit myself to realize that anything that is not indispensable for me to participate in that pollutes the Earth unnecessarily is able to be stopped the moment that I realize the effects and consequences of me buying such product, me participating in certain activities and within that, commit ourselves to develop a new living-style that is no longer defined by ‘buying’ as a synonym to ‘living,’ but instead: expressing, developing sustainable systems that Do consider Life in Equality and the necessary changes to do so.

                           

                          Investigate the Equal Money System wherein we are making sure that this world stops being the energy-consuming machine with no regard to life – and instead, be a part of voting for the principles that will ensure humanity becomes a NEW humanity that is willing to take care of another as ourselves and in that, pave the way for the generations to come wherein: all children won’t have to live in a constant fear and petrification when seeing a world in depletion and no one doing anything about it. We make sure that they are born into a world system that cares and regards life, as it is and will be realized as who we really are.

                           

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                          Blogs to Realize what we are doing to ourselves:

                          Sacrificial Love of the Mother: DAY 48
                          Day 48: The Visible and the Invisible

                           


                          Dysfunctional Minds

                          We are the creators of our world and the so-called ‘our world’ is often comprised of our own mind which is the product of the pre-laid conditions passed on through the genes from generation to generation – doesn’t matter which/where/how many  bloods or eras, we’ve always been part of this world within the basic principle of reproduction – as well as through the influence of  ‘invisible forces’ that are represented through the effect that money and social conditions that we’ve created as well, determine the environment and general aspects that add up to the factors that determine who we’ll become as a product of our society, another product of our own.

                          Within this, as human beings and in an attempt to ‘understand ourselves’ as the inherent deviations — based on very basic principles that we’ll explain here – we’ve created terms that are now well accepted as conditions that are, somehow apparently, sprouting in peoples minds and becoming the usual ‘conditions’ existent in people living in this world, as well as a juicy business that’s requiring a constant supply of pills to apparently ‘alleviate the symptoms’

                          This obviously not being in fact so and being just the tip of the iceberg of all the blatant lies and cover ups we’ve hidden ourselves behind.

                          One of the points that we cannot deny is that we all have to be deluded and mad in some level to be able to accept this reality as it is, I mean for that matter we’re all existent in a parallel universe every time that we’re not here breathing and not thinking unnecessarily  – though as we know, this is one of the most difficult points as we’ve been so used to thinking all the fucking time – hence we see we’ve created the problem, it’s then our responsibility to create a solution as ourselves as well.

                          Here some of the words that are being broadly used to define and out-line someone from ‘the rest’ for apparent unsociable conditions.

                          Psychopathy: a lack of interest in, or care for, the sanctity of human life.

                          Just today I got feedback from someone saying that I ‘aim for non-human goals’ wherein such person is already allowing the ‘inherently flawed human nature’ as something unchangeable that only can be ‘dealt/ coped with’ – No, I refuse to accept such status quo and in that regard, these type of statements should be the ones that are labeled as an actual psychopath as they’re not willing to change the preordained human condition to exist in massive loopholes of disregard to anything that’s common sense, and thus actually posing a threat to the rest that are willing to stand up for life and care about life which are the ones that have actually dared to question, expose and create solutions to the accepted and allowed ‘human nature’ that has created such harm toward life – not only humans toward other humans, but as a general disregard to everything that’s here.

                          Hence, who is a real psychopath? anyone not willing to live as an equal and walk the necessary steps to live as such.

                          For that matter I could’ve been called a psychopath in the past as well because of having gone through a series of thoughts with regards to how lame we’ve become as human beings and within that mimicking the external conditions as myself in an attempt to create a ‘warning sign’ that no one really heard until I understood I had to stand up for myself, as myself, not to create further calls for attention but become my point of attention – first beginning with myself and realizing my own point of self responsibility and then extending this to the world.  This didn’t really mean that I ‘loathed’ my kind, but I do recognize the gigantic faults, disregard and general fuckups in this world. So, tag is proven to be obnoxious and only necessary to apply it within the actual terms of someone being a threat to the betterment of humanity.

                          Sociopathy: a lack of interest in, or care for, the rules of a society.

                          Within this single consideration, anyone that’s a freechoicer and only caring for their own two feet – and sometimes not even that – could be labeled as a sociopath, virtually anyone that is not looking at the current state of the world and realizing that it is our responsibility to start becoming active participants within our reality and being aware of the current world affairs which will indicate where are all the flaws within the system, so that we can then create and implement a new way of existing/ living in this world at last.

                          Any person that isn’t willing to look outside of their own mind bubble can then be tagged as sociopath, as individualism is their priority while using the greatest weapons of freechoice and freewill to defend their righteousness,  all glorified ‘commandments’ that command/govern the minds/mentes of people to justify, glorify and vindicate their actions as ‘their right’ within this world, liberty and justice become only a self created idea that has no basis on common sense and what’s best for all, but only suiting each one’s sense of ‘what’s right’ for them only.

                          When the rules and so called ‘wisdom’ of man turn against himself, we must know, an urgent reform to the entire system must take place.

                          I assure you no one in this world is absolutely ‘happy’ and anyone that claims they are, they’re lying. Therefore being happy, positive having the ‘full-glass’ perspective on this world is in fact a deluded being, an actual sociopath that is claiming that ‘everything is fine, there’s nothing to change, I’m cool just as I am’ and won’t do a thing to become part of a solution to the obvious fuckedupness because he finds ‘no fault’ within himself/ this reality at all.

                          Another blatant way of deviating and abdicating self responsibility – and is also an often accepted ‘way of being’ – is positivity and people embrace it as a ‘way of living’ without anyone daring to name it for what these people are: actual sociopaths that pose a threat to the world because they’ll defend their positive/bright side view on the world where everything is fine and there’s nothing to correct within themselves or the world while neglecting and deliberately overlooking/ disregarding the abuse that’s being inflicted to everyone and everything in this world. Real danger, yet the world is full of them.

                          Time to expose them for what they are. There is no bliss in the world other than blissful mindfucks that can only last for so long, really.

                          Malignant narcissism: pathological grandiosity, lacking in conscience and behavioral regulation, characterized by joyful cruelty and sadism.

                          Lightworkers, positive thinkers, optimistic people, full-glass viewers and general ‘happy people’ should be regarded then as ‘malignant narcissistic’ as they are often imbued within their own realm of reality wherein they’re always viewing through the full-glass filter where everything is fine just like what ‘heaven’ should be and within that, believing that you only have to ask for your shit to be given by your pal the universe with all your might and joy and positive vibrations while turning their backs on the real actual constant daily hideous suffering that this world and the beings within go through while some only focus on ‘following their greatest excitement’. I mean, what the fuck? Psychology/psychiatry are equally retarded by usually embedding these tags to people that dare to question reality, that dare to mimic the state of the world we’re living in as a way to pointing out what should be obvious already, people that dare to break the status quo and show to the world what’s being accepted and allowed. No wonder, once again, that the world is in reverse.

                          All the me-me-ists then would be encompassed within this illness, a serious one.

                          If we look at it, this current system the capitalist system is the perfect incubator for malignant narcissism to sprout like wildflowers along the road, I mean, all is about ‘you’, satisfying ‘your wants’, ‘your needs’, ‘your desires’, ‘follow your greatest excitement’, ‘ask the universe for whatever you want’, ‘you are god, you can have it all’, ‘be happy, life is short, enjoy the most of it’ – suck everyone dry on the way in the end I mean ‘one’s got to make the most of this life isn’t it? –  And, isn’t it real cruelty and real sadism to deliberately boast on happiness, joy, completion, success while other human beings are living in deplorable conditions in the very same world wherein you are showing off your greatest wants and needs become ‘true’? Isn’t positivism to have your thoughts be the cause of wars and conflicts that seek the same ‘stardom’ and ‘superiority’ that you seek in your own mind? Isn’t seeking something outside of yourself the sickening aspect that’s lead to this general malady in the world?

                          Positivism a behavioral trait of man should also be targeted as the actual deluded ‘nature’ that is neglecting the violence, abuse, exploitation in all forms of everyone and everything around us, thus being the actual threat towards others as it will ran over anything/everyone in the name of ‘following a greater excitement’.

                          Isn’t it actual sadism to exist in such vainglory and self-petulance of ‘obtaining whatever you want by just asking for it’ while billions starve, while billions are sold/traded for money  to build the house of your dreams, to build the car that’ll get you the nice piece of ass you want as a wife, to sow the clothes wherein you built up the ‘perfect image’ that will sell good to other self-obsessed people that seek to match their ideals of perfection by getting along with ‘like minded people’ – nothing else but colonies of robots seeking to mingle together to not be alone in their self-deluded version of the world that’s only able to be kept lit up by – yes you guessed it – Money.

                          Nothing else but self interest seeking others that run on the same mindset to feed of each other, perpetuating the alternate reality that will hit the ground once the illusionary money as ‘power’ to the illusion is gone and what’s left is the physical darkness of this reality that’s equal in all ways – all mind delusions, all mind pathologies will be seen for what they are in reality and there will be no other way but to adapt/align to what is best for all or cease to exist.

                          Insanity, craziness or madness is a spectrum of behaviors characterized by certain abnormal mental or behavioral patterns. Insanity may manifest as violations of societal norms, including becoming a danger to themselves and others, though not all such acts are considered insanity. In modern usage insanity is most commonly encountered as an informal unscientific term denoting mental instability

                          The easiest way to not face ourselves and our reality is through claiming insanity, through becoming and embodying this idea of being deranged because at least that’s an ‘acceptable way’ within society to claim one is handicapped, unable and not in an optimum condition to take self responsibility. It’s created as a defense mechanism that comes when realizing the extent of our acceptances and allowances and instead of daring to face ourselves, we rather create a split and decide that we’d rather wander off and appear aloof than taking self responsibility.

                          Isn’t everyone then insane when being ‘mentally unstable’ as being able to shift in personalities, mood, states of being, wondering from one realm to another in our minds, we’d all be then tagged as ‘insane’.

                          It’s a comfortable self-created lie just as all of the above conditions are.

                          Insanity is to have such policies like Scorched Earth wherein the ultimate evil of man is justified through means of ‘war’ as if war had any ‘positive outlook’ in any way whatsoever.

                          Anyone that defends a policy that stands as the least harm, abuse inflicted towards another living being/ the world itself is the definition of an insane person, but so is the person that decides to not hear, not see and resort into a bubble where everything is fine and be accepted as ‘insane’ just to not have to face ourselves in our creation. So all ‘people in power’ as well as protestors should be tagged as insane as well, isn’t it?

                          A legally declared ‘insane’ person can literally get away with murder without being processed due to such ‘condition’ – nice way to protect the real self-abusive behaviors that are perpetrated within such self-definition and inflict harm/abuse on to others only to end up being justified and ‘cleared’ within our flawed legal system.

                          Both poles are equally fucked – all of these mental definitions as medical diagnosis are equally fucked as they’re created by fellow men that are also running as systems seeking for nothing else but – yes you got it – Money.

                          Hence you can’t possibly trust someone whose years of  studying, their actions, decisions and exertion of ‘will’ is not self motivated within the starting point of Equality as Life at all, but is coming from and being driven by greed, desire for power and success through the creation of medicated drones that will run to them every month/ week for another yellow note that defines them as being incapable of being a ‘functional member of society’.

                          What a dog eat dog world – there’s nothing left here but for you to  investigate the Equal Money System where NONE of this will exist ever gain.

                          In the end, it’s each and every one of us that have the actual choice to decide who and what we’ll be within this world –

                          Choose Life at all times, it’s not really a choice, you can only choose to neglect it and turn a blind eye which is what should be in fact regarded as a serious illness and be treated accordingly to be corrected and avoid all possible harm to others – realize: there’s no ESC button in this reality, you’ll have to face yourself anyways so why not beginning today.

                          And now, for the marvelous correction to all of this:

                          Functional Mind: thinking, acting, writing, doing what’s best for all in all ways based on the principle of Equality as LIFE. Simplicity.

                          To see how this ties in with the Monetary System, watch:

                          Monetary Psychosis – The Cure is HERE

                           

                          When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed


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