Category Archives: End of the world

428. How to Stop the Despair about the World?

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There are times when what one is doing toward any form of change doesn’t seem to be enough at all, in fact it can even be perceived as counterproductive or judged by others as useless or harmful. I’ve faced patterns of general ‘alienation’ in relation to seeing a genuine way in which one can create an effect for others as well, but I guess that the point missed is that in focusing too much on ‘doing it out there’ the ‘in here’ is left out of the picture, and what I mean by ‘in here’ is seeing where I am not supporting myself to the point of being the normal stable support for myself and so for others.

What happens is that I started focusing too much ‘out there’ only and being taken aback by the reality of many that are genuinely suffering. We know this world is in dire straits, it is our creation and consequence therefore, we cannot really ‘do much’ about it alone – we have to stand together in a similar stance and perspective to get to fine tune the solutions for the reality we have all co-created. Sometimes witnessing all the suffering in various bits and places and through news, documentaries, personal stories etc. make you want to simply drop everything and just cry like a baby for hours end. I experienced this recently as I had done before, and seeing others going through the same only reminds me that we can never really bring any ‘change’ with more sadness, suffering or emotional outbursts: that certainly does nothing. If anything these experiences are not meant to be judged either, but rather using them as a time to introspect what kind of situations one has allowed to be ‘piled up’ and accumulated to the point where one simply explodes when something apparently ‘bigger’ triggers it all. I’ve noticed I’ve been sighing a lot, as if there was some extra effort in doing things as well, even though I keep at everything, sometimes there’s a perceived ‘loss of meaning to doing things.’

Why would I lose a ‘meaning’ on it? Well because the focus was too ‘outwardly’ shifted instead of first ensuring I can be supporting myself, having clarity on who I am, what I stand for and as such with such inner-stability be able to direct myself in such clarity in my usual doings. The thing is that, when one allows oneself to be affected too much by what’s going on outside, one then becomes part of the drama that takes you down misery lane and it’s kind of hard to get out of it as one keeps repeating the images, the information that created the experience of hopelessness, powerlessness in the first place. First point is to not become a victim of information only and creating an experience about it, but rather understand that we become part of the pile of junk if we keep ourselves in the same gloomy self experience Guiño

 

I know this is a common point for many, specifically those that can conceive themselves as being ‘over sensitive’ about things, which doesn’t mean ‘you care more’ but simply one actually allows oneself to take what’s on the outside and ‘process it’ or ‘digest it’ as something that becomes an internal emotional experience. The world doesn’t need more sufferers, more depressed people or people that have no hope even in their own lives: world needs individuals that can see, understand the problem, that can recognize the responsibility we hold to it and from there seek to join forces with others on the same track so as to create an actual network of solutions and support, THAT is what the world needs. “God hates a coward” is the title of a song, lol,  I’d say Life hates a coward and if one is not truly willing to Stand up for Life and do all that it takes, then one becomes part of the problem, part of the ‘giving up’ ones of which the death realm is filled with, I bet.

 

 

Watch our Hangouts related to this topic!

 

 

 

Times like these are also cool to see where am I giving into other pleasures or plain laziness, where do I refuse to keep expanding myself, where have I become stagnant in my own self support and development? Am I doing enough for myself or do I then make of the world the reason for my own confusion, alienation and general ‘loss of meaning’ in everything which is another way to sugar coat a plain lack of insight and seeing direct as to what it is that I need to put my motivation back on.

 

I’ve been there many times before and it is also true that these hardly engrained patterns that I cultivated for many years won’t be wiped out overnight, it is a continuous process over years until they are no more at all, and more so to learn how to stand up from them every time, to keep doing what one has to do and keep going even if it ‘feels’ like feeding a dead horse… it’s about diligence and consistency and also as Nick Cave says: keep on pushing the sky away, to not wish to be dead and so ‘out of the mess of this world’ and going into extreme anger or apathy or general despair because all of these are only experiences, they too shall pass = they can be worked on an overcome them as we created them.

I would mostly suggest to flag point for myself whenever these experiences come up and instead of going down the memory lane of suffering and why the world is miserable, see directly: what am I resisting to do? Where am I procrastinating my change of ‘experience’ toward something in particular? If I am fed up with the state of the world, then I don’t have to make it my own ‘fedupness’ toward my own life and anything that I do in it. Again, takes some courage to see directly, and the faster the better otherwise one single ‘fall’ if not looked at for some time, can make one feel like one is dragging one’s dead body around, even while trying to act/be normal: we always know when there’s something ‘going on’ within us, and if it’s not health-related then we must know that there is something ‘up there’ that I still want to hold on to and justify one’s experience with.

In past week I came to the conclusion that there can be no real happiness in this world unless we eradicate all fear, all suffering, all hatred, all anger, all abuse in this world – no matter if you have the ‘perfect life’ with the necessary money and giving yourself some treats here and there, it is meaningless, it is shallow, it is pointless because as long as I know there is people that haven’t been ‘fortunate’ enough to have what I have, my ‘happiness’ is a self-interested experience. So, realizing this doesn’t make your life more cheerful or gleeful either, but it grounds you to see what one is focusing on/paying attention to and what one plans to do with one’s life altogether.

From my perspective, as I’ve said it many times, I will do and be with that which is the most supportive for life on Earth, no matter how ‘futile’ it might seem, how questionable sharing something in the vast sea of the internet and endless roads of information can be: I choose to contribute to the growth and support of everyone else that is willing to do the same for themselves than being part of the endless queues that want to desert out of life, which they too would have to be understood as a consequential outflow of all of us not having done enough to give everyone a decent reason to live. I decide to do this for myself and so for any other person that can benefit from it.

 

So, a clear decision is always a lifetime decision – there can be fogs at times and that is ok, it is a momentary reassessment that can take a few days, but eventually it is really so that No One can ‘pull you out of it’ unless You Decide to Walk Out of it Yourself. It is a Doing, not a Thinking.

Let’s keep walking.

 

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PS. Artwork and photograph not by me

If you want to learn how to support yourself too:

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391. Noah’s Revelations

I went to watch Noah the other day mostly because I had read some reviews from angry Christians about it and so I was curious to watch it for the sake of understanding what the fuss was about.  I usually like Aronofsky’s work and this wasn’t the exception.

 

Noah

 

What I liked the most is the ability to place into question the general belief-system surrounding the benevolent god that Christianity in this case is meant to be founded upon; sometimes it seems that all the actual killings, sacrifices and atrocities that God commands to people throughout the bible have gone unnoticed just because of it being the sacred book that defines our image and likeness, an image and likeness that as human beings we’ve tried to hard to avoid and prevent looking at, our own ‘spell to ward off our darkness’ which in terms of religions, any fault to god is a punishment acquired without ever questioning God and its commands themselves.

 

So, before discovering Desteni I could not make sense of how this God figure operates or how people would generally perceive it, since it was supposed that god is meant to be loving, caring, merciful being…. however we only have to look at our creation, our image and likeness we have become wherein our own creations speak for themselves in terms of ‘who we are’ and we are annihilating life in the name of beliefs, ideas, experiences, delusions of progress wherein our real god is money itself – and the bible is the code for this reality, how to submit to the idea that one can only get access to life if one sweats the brow all day to earn it… figure it out how we are still living in a system that is based on a biblical scheme, and somehow we haven’t yet questioned that either.

 

The reason why I find it so relevant to talk about the movie is because throughout the story, one of the pivotal points demonstrated is  that all human beings have this inherent evil as the image and likeness of the creator – and this is by far the most necessary yet obviously shocking acknowledgement for the light-hearted since it is only through the realization that if we are the image and likeness of our creator, then our creator wasn’t such ideal, merciful and benevolent being that this god/creator was taught to be to be for all religious people, including myself wherein I early on also wanted so bad to believe on something, until I stepped into the realization of the fallacy this was early on in my teens. To me it was kind of obvious that there was something inherently wrong in this world with me having to believe in a god that only cared about a ‘few’ to live very well and leave the rest to suffer with only being able to resort to ‘praying’ to make things better in this world, which is an equivalent of sitting, doing nothing, waiting and feeling sorry for myself and every person that suffers in this world. I consider that the ever-gnawing question of ‘why do we have to suffer/ why is there so much suffering in this world?’ that drove me to get to answers might still be a question that many prefer to ward off to not see and realize the inevitable, the actuality of who we are and our real nature that we had attempted to vehemently cover up with lots of ‘love’ and ‘light’ and words that we attach with ‘good feelings,’ trying to always see the ‘bright side’ without first acknowledging the dark side, the real core of our being.

 

8. Fin de la Ilusión

 

It is essential for us to realize this ‘evil’ within each one of us as that’s the first point to step outside of the bubbly cloud of being ‘the perfect godly creation’ and instead realize that if we are created at this god’s image and likeness, then we sure are no perfect loving peaceful doves, consequently nor was ‘him’ either, and this movie is able to place in full bloom this aspect of our human nature which is lived through by Noah where he has to then decide upon following the ‘word of god’ or act in the best interest of all. Suddenly this ‘god’ that never talks back becomes a great diatribe in Noah’s mind, a struggle in itself when he sees himself having to choose between ‘Him’ and the love/consideration he has for his own family.

One of the huge ‘weights’ that were lifted off of my back was to stop believing in a god, to be afraid of a god, to believe I had to please a god or else I’d be damned somehow for not completing my ‘chosen path’ that I believed existed for me to complete in this Earth. I too once believed this god was real and that I had to seek such ‘godliness’ that exists as part of religious theory books that I saw nowhere being applied in practical, physical reality – but rather the total opposite is what I witness from some of the heads of religious sects where I studied in school. So, as the song goes, I once was lost and blind but not I see and so throughout walking this process within Desteni, I was able to understand the design of religion, the design of god as the symbols to avoid and excuse our own irresponsibility, our own abdication to be self directive in our lives, our own substitutes for ‘love’ as an energetic experience that we become addicted to and believe that that is all that we have to ‘aim’ for in this world, while having to struggle at all times for survival. This is the foundation of the Catholic religion I am familiar with.

 

I can now say for sure that the outrage that some Christians have created around the movie is simply based on the shock-factor that they are exposed to when considering it as ‘anti-biblical’ and a rather a so-called ‘satanic version of Noah’s story’ when in fact it is to realize the nature of who we are and have become in fact, and we are certainly not entirely different from all that mass of people that got wiped off of the Earth with the great deluge. We’re hitting again that time in our existence wherein each tree that is cut, each crop that is genetically manipulated, each bee that dies,  each air molecule that is made unbreathable adds up to our very near demise if we don’t actually stop, or come to be stopped by consequence, and so that’s why I also consider it’s a relevant moment to watch it and hopefully more people are able to see beyond the ‘fable’ that it’s meant to be and rather turn it into a very real and applicable self-reflection process to see whether we have in any way changed as human beings, what has been missed? why are we still the same greedy evil beings that were wiped out during Noah’s times? Why haven’t we been able to change or have we? Because we create our reality as the image and likeness of how each one of us exists as the mind. This is why no attempt to ‘change the world’ is successful as we haven’t yet ‘tackled’ the actual problem which is not God missing all the prayers, but ourselves not doing the actual work required to sort out ourselves and our creation.

 

This is It

 

To all the people that have watched Noah and are ready to make peace with the fact that we weren’t created by a white merciful loving dove of a god that cares about his creation, then I suggest researching Desteni as this is the necessary step to understand why everything looks like hell on Earth at the moment, and how no matter which phase of history we look at, we as human beings haven’t evolved an iota and only now we have the potential to veer the course toward which we are currently heading at which is starkly said: self destruction. This begin within being able to walk through the god construct, the religious constructs, the spirituality constructs with which we have fueled our minds of nice experiences, hopes, prayers and good feelings in an attempt to only wait that such ‘nice energies’ have any effect to solve the very real and physical problems in this world.

 

The problem is: we have missed our responsibility for our creation, we have missed the point all along: we all have been here from the beginning and as such there is no god as such but only ourselves as creators and creations that have abdicated any responsibility to who we are as Life, and instead replaced our realizations  with fears, with excuses, with justifications, with ‘greater powers’ and ‘superior abilities’- never realizing how in every bit we defined ourselves in separation from God we separated ourselves from our real potential, our real responsibility and our real directive principle to become the individuals that we already know would make of this world-system a genuine living place in this world.

The mind is currently our god, our own darkness we tend to veil with positivity, gods, faiths, spiritualties and hope, the actual evil, the point of separation that we are here to stand up and take responsibility for in order to align ourselves to a living principle that we can all be certain will change the nature of who we have been up to now and as such, change the nature of our relationships and our current systems with which we’ve governed ourselves.

If a person goes into denial after watching Noah, they are already making a decision to keep believing in an illusion because they are not willing to face the ‘dark side’ which is not really ‘dark’ in itself, it’s only been kept aside to not face the reality of who we are and have become, which is the first step to then decide to begin conducting oneself to live and apply the tools and principles to become a living human being that is self-responsible, that learns how to care for others as we would like to be care after ourselves, that learns how to cultivate real love as work made visible, the work that benefits us as human beings to step outside of our massive black hole of which we are at the cliff of if we don’t stop and change our minds to recognize and honor the life that lives and exists within each one of us.

Happy Easter

 

“There is no truth. There are only relationships. You either are part of what is best for all in all ways or you are in self interest and allows harm to exist in the name of your personal happiness. This is the Alpha and the Omega of this world. The ultimate truth. The ultimate choice. and You decide who you are and that determines the outcome of each individual. The universe is a group and if you are not able to be part of the group, you can work out for yourself what will be the consequence”

 

“The foundation of the truth of Here will only be uncovered with Self Honest Self Forgiveness. Only those strong enough as individuals will fathom self honesty and will live self forgiveness. Ego will never grasp the simplicity of the message of Desteni”Bernard Poolman 

 

The Great Wave 09

 

 

Suggest to watch this hangout to hear about the truth of us hiding behind religions, spirituality and any other belief and how to walk toward real responsibility toward life and oneself as life:

 

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372. Desteni Insider: Mind Control and Brainwashing

“The world is in reverse” is the premise to consider whenever the Desteni Material is approached and that is because you are going to face your own brainwashing to the utmost degree, up to the point wherein the ‘you’ that has been occupying the body that you are living in will be stripped down to the core to see what is of real substance and what has been only the byproduct of the endless indoctrination and conditioning within a world-system wherein fear conducts the way toward happiness, light, love, success and an elusive freedom. Reading the first words again “The world is in reverse” means that we haven’t even yet pondered why we seek all these ‘great and good things’ without realizing that such desired experiences indicate that we are by default existing in the exact opposite: sadness/depression, dullness, hate, failure and enslavement. The Orwellian state of the world is the premise one could use from popular culture to understand that such perversion of words is not limited to governments or any other corporate institution that seeks to make the most profit by selling the abuse of life with smiles and frequent client rewards, it has become the foundation of our very own vocabulary as the words that we claim we “live” without genuinely understanding what such verb in fact implies within a reality that is intricately designed to abuse and harm all life in order to continue supporting the schizophrenic concept of ‘living’ that we are enduring at the moment. Yes, it’s being endured without pondering why is life such a struggle, why do we have to strive to make a living, and the point that I will focus on within this blog is the righteous act of wanting to revolt and blame the system for how things have come to be due to our so-called education process where we learn the best ways to dissociate ourselves from the realization of who we are as part of a collective organism that will create reality according to the nature of the thoughts we have in mind. It’s clear that such separation has turned to be the mirror reality we try to avoid and recognize as our own reflection.

 

Continuing from:

What you are in your mind won't pravail - wake up

What you are in your mind won’t prevail, wake up! (2009)

 

It is interesting that the Desteni Material and all of us involved in applying the principles at Desteni have been called out for being a ‘thought reform group’ or ‘mind control cult’ and any other form of slander which, according to the necessary premise on how ‘the world is in reverse,’ it is actually a good thing since that means that we are genuinely breaking the status quo of what has been accepted as ‘healthy thinking and behavior’ because we certainly such thinking processes have led us ( k )nowhere but evolving the ways with which to abuse life and each other in the name of greed. What I have done throughout my participation within the Desteni group is to learn how to investigate all things and keep what’s best, which is placing everything we’ve ever known under the magnifying glass to see whether the education at home, in schools, in society, in our relationships, in the words that we speak genuinely stand as the tools words are to create a world that is best for all.

We shouldn’t even require to confirm that none of the ways in which we have ever lived have been supportive for all of us as human beings, otherwise the world would have already been a place that is genuinely best for all and our reality as our creation is an irrevocable proof of that. Some of the misinformation propagated by the Desteni antagonists claim that we ‘segregate’ ourselves from humanity, from our families and friends, from our reality by being submerged in an individual process where we forgive ourselves for accepting all the lies and deception that we were taught as ‘how things are’ and the relationships based on self interest that lead us to become the predictable patterns that keep the world as is– what a disgraceful behavior, isn’t it? To self forgive every single aspect of our separation from our living realization of how everything we have ever been has been a lie since it has never given birth to life.

 

 

If anything it should already be a matter of concern that we all know that the education system is not working, that parents don’t even know how to educate their children, that our authorities stand as examples of how to get to be the most ‘powerful and successful’ individuals by being the most corrupted version of ourselves as personality profiles that are accepted, allowed and endorsed in a world-system that is founded upon abuse – yet! If one begins to understand principles that consider Life in Equality, genuine Self-Respect, Honor, Integrity and the consideration of Life as the one and only real value that exists, one is called out for being ‘brainwashed’ or ‘mind controlled’ or attempting to introduce ‘communism’ which is just another word like the bell to Pavlov’s dogs to ‘instantly’ react to it and expecting security and a sense of comfort as the reward by defending the right to be ‘free to be a capitalist,’  without even understanding what the words they are reacting to in fact mean.

 

The main problem we have realized is to what extent words as equality, collectivism, dignity, respect, integrity and so on are as vacuous as can be, simply because there have been no living examples in humanity that stand as such  living words – Jesus was one of the few and then was turned into a religious effigy to obfuscate the genuine fact that he was a man that lived the physical common sense meaning of such words. As humanity we have become the example of what it is to intellectualize and even deify living examples of what it is to live in self-respect, to live self-forgiveness and the willingness to be in the service of life itself which doesn’t only entail human to human interaction, but toward every single particle of what is here as part of ourselves, as the life we have hijacked in the name of power and control and within doing so, mining our own home that we’ve been trashing for far too long now.

 

(2011)

 

When facing one’s own brainwashing one can distinctly realize that every single word we’ve been taught and consequently “lived” has been part of the necessary deceptive mechanisms to keep this flawed, corrupted and vile condition on Earth, a collective acceptance and allowance of distrust, lies, abuse and adopting any form of contract to settle ownerships upon reality for the sake of buying and selling, no matter how much harm such processes inflict upon life as long as one’s own survival is secured.

 

Brainwashing and Mind Control are terminals of the same function within which we have all accepted and allowed ourselves to live in this world basing ‘who we are’ on ideas, beliefs, perceptions, feelings, emotions, imaginations, future projections and an innumerable amount of memories that we go collecting and layering as ‘who we are’ throughout our lives with which we form our identity, the ‘self’ that we Think ourselves to be – is it, really?

 

This is the main point one face within and throughout the Desteni I Process, which is the necessary process to walk through when one realizes that all of this understanding needs to be applied at an individual level to see where we stand within it and how to practically lay out the solutions that we ourselves can write and cross reference with other people that are doing this same process with themselves, so that the development of Common Sense as the living application of acting, thinking and doing what is best for all is established as the foundation of the living self that we commit ourselves to be and become once that we realize that yes, we cannot trust the foundation of who we are as the ego that was bred to re-enact the same patterns of self-abuse, we must change it and this won’t come with a simple realization or a few positive thinking statements – not at all, because everything that we have become is in essence the accumulated history of humanity turned into the most convoluted forms to ensure survivalism, self interest and enhancing individual traits that have created the current alarming state of the world as is right now which is on the verge of self-destruction by our own thoughts and hands.

There is nothing more beneficial that can exist nowadays but to walk this process that consists of a fundamental self-investigation on and about everything that exists within and as all levels of our mind and reality to see who we really are within it all and how we can instead direct ourselves to integrate living patterns and habits that can be beneficial for ourselves and everyone equally; this is what I have realized is the only way to generate a living society in conjunction with the understanding and integration of the physical laws into the new equation necessary in this reality to  actually create a world that is best for all. Where is the point of abuse or ‘brainwashing’/ ‘mind control’ within this all? I would like to ask someone to explain to me because I see nothing else but the common sensical and honorable directions that if embraced by each individual on this world, we would have a New Earth without a problem – and this is where Self Responsibility comes in.

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(2003)

Throughout these 5 years walking with the Desteni group and practically applying/living the living principles promoted such as Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness and the consideration at all times of that which is Best for All to implement within and without of myself, I have been able to break-through the main patterns in which I had kept myself complacent to the system, including the personality-traits in relation to ‘wanting to change the world’ without first understanding that such change must be first self-directed at an individual level. To me it was common to spot the ‘flaws’ within the world system or people’s behavior, but I always used to take the righteous stand of ‘I am right and you are all dead wrong’ – I had to go through a personal scrutiny to realize that I also had been brainwashed and had accepted such brainwashed stance as my own mind control of ‘who I am’ and ‘what I must be.’ Only throughout time I have been able to look back and see how within the particular path I had chosen in terms of my career on visual arts, my particular behavior and stance toward humanity – which was mostly that of superiority toward the ‘brainwashed’ and ‘sheeple’ in humanity – I was on my way to become the usual dissident within the world system, the kind of person that would be protesting on and on about how wrong things are while diving myself into the usual suffering-despair of how ‘No one is going to change, so let’s just live our lives the way that we want to, because we can’t change anything anyways’ and ultimately losing any ability to discern the potential of the capabilities I had but begun tampering with dreams of escapism, evasion of reality and enhancement of personality traits veering toward more ‘spiritual solutions’ rather than considering the physicality of the problem I was witnessing in this world, my world.

 

This particular personal stance of opposition, dissidence and antagonism went on to extremes wherein I was aiming at having nothing to do with the system, only focusing on pursuing my personal interests and becoming an individual that is well known for producing ‘nice pictures’ and get great money out of that – that’s all that I had reduced myself to in my belief that ‘we are doomed, there’s no way out of this system’ and within that using my own self-talk to justify such stance and position –hence the main topic of my art being mostly that of self destruction and emotional states that I thought were ‘the real me’ and it was, until I literally took off the blindfold when I got to Desteni.

 

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(2007)

 

Amidst a general sense of despair, hopelessness and apathy toward politics or anything having to do with the structure of the system, I moved myself out of any attempt to ‘make it’ in the system within the false belief that I was going to be able to do things ‘my way’ and never again have anything to do with that which I came to despise: the world system, humanity, money, politics and social sciences, economics… It was truly a tantrum the one I was living in right before getting to Desteni, yet it seemed very normal to others in my reality within the acceptance and allowance of my self-proclaimed belief that I was ‘beyond’ that, and that my inner-truth was to express through something more ‘meaningful’ like art where I could be ‘in touch with my emotions.’ Yes, believe it or not, that was me and it can be read in a very palpable way in the very first years of my process wherein a single moment with myself alone still felt filled with  a mixture of anxiety, depression, sadness, despair, helplessness and hopelessness turned into a victimized state of how ‘the world is a shitty place and there’s nothing I can do about it.’

 

It has only been in the past 3 years that everything started becoming more clear in relation to how our particular personalities are the perfect locks wherein we get so entrenched in our beliefs and ideals that we neglect almost everything that does not ‘fit’ with our self-religion, where we can guarantee the maximum ability to ‘enjoy life’ and keep augmenting our egos to ensure a safe spot in the concrete jungle where survival of the fittest means having a successful living – well, in my case it meant: do whatever you can to not be in the system, forget about everything that is evil in the world and rather promote a form of benevolence that can make people feel better, at least for a moment. This also implies doing things that according to my point of view then meant ‘challenging the system’ like smoking weed and making statements wherein I considered that I was ‘challenging the powers/the system’ and inciting people to ‘explore the spiritual realm’ in a desperate move to simply ignore reality and seek for some ‘greater meaning out there.’ Little did I realize then that what I was in fact doing was giving up on myself, seeking for something ‘greater’ to just do the work for us and not have to take responsibility for the hideous reality that I could ‘not bear to live in any longer,’ without even knowing what the meaning of ‘living’ in fact is.

DSC01604

(2007)

The easiest way to brainwash people in a similar personality design to mine is to let them believe that they are in fact ‘doing something’ by ranting and raving about ‘the system,’ by calling out the thieves, by protesting, by yelling, screaming and pouting in front of banks/corporations and governmental offices, by creating riots that could ‘disturb’ any form of control that only evolves and escalates due to the ability of the human being to be led by emotional states that are becoming more and more unpredictable, of course leading to more destruction than any form of practical solution. We can see on our daily news how unreliable and unstable the human mind is no matter what position/character in society one plays in – you can be a priest, a world leader, a loving mother or a proficient athlete and kill their partner, children or commit any other form of atrocity when being taken over by their emotions and feelings – all  kinds of atrocities are justified by each one’s acceptances and allowances at a mind level, the mind that we have taken as the immovable premise of ‘our nature’ throughout human history. It is only now that I am able to realize to what extent the profiles of a dissident, a ‘free thinker’ and a ‘willful ignorant’ are just same brainwashed characters in which people are kept well-controlled by the power of their own rage against the machine, holding a similar faith to the most assiduous religious person that somehow we will ‘overcome the evil in this world,’  holding on to the hope that shouting and pouting will ‘bring the powers down’ and create some form of solution – even the so-called ‘alternative media’ are only new mechanisms that aid this control through utilizing ‘new’ ways to approach young people, calling out to revolt, to be angry, to go out to the streets, to ‘challenge the system’ by promoting the legalization of drugs and internet privacy within the belief that such propositions are the only bastions left to ‘regain the power’ and that’s precisely the problem that has happened throughout time: revolutions were never meant to establish living principles in this world, but only a call out to take over the power and turn the tables, keeping the world in exactly the same place – same inequality with new righteous hands in office. The age old saying of divide and conquer has not been fully realized, yet.

 

I have realized time and time again that there is nothing more important right now as an individual in this world other than focusing on actually taking responsibility for ourselves, however such words cause allergy to anyone that gets a kick out of ‘confronting’ the system in all of the ways explained throughout this blog. I can attest how it is only when realizing all my personality traits to evade reality and use this willful ignorance in an eloquent manner led me to mislead myself, my own choices in life, the people I had established relationships with and the evasion of reality that I defended and guarded as having a right to ‘do whatever I want in my life because I was hurting no one’ – this is the mind of the willful ignorant that is looking at the problems, that pretends to understand but when it comes to living a solution that can be of benefit to ourselves, to actually understand the responsibility we have in our hands to stand as an example of ‘the change we want to see in this world,’ all kinds of excuses and backdoors are open to just have a righteous statement to not change, to not challenge that which we have cultivated for so long which is our own ego, our own brainwashing and mind control. This is what I have come to irrevocably realize day by day whenever we approach solutions to the world system which we have through developing various means like the proposal of the Equal Money System which was an entire process that I will also walk and an essential aspect I decided to stand for and as by myself to precisely shed the anti-system skin I was busy turning into a hard veneer to justify my antagonism and antipathy toward ‘the system’ and humanity itself, which I later on understood was only a constant fight toward myself. This is one of the multiple realizations of the simple words you might hear many, many times throughout the Desteni Material: Oneness and Equality, where the Oneness points out the interdependence that we exist as toward each other as the coexistence in this same world and the Equality that is existent at the substance and physical level, yet perfectly concealed with all forms of separation that we have CULTivated in our minds in the form of egos, personalities, cultures, religions, political parties, the very words we use to justify any form of separation and abuse.

Sórdido

(2012)

 

One of the most prominent points I decided to take on within this process was to develop common sense to stand as a voice that proposes solutions, that investigates other solutions and point out why they are not genuine solutions within the ability to spot a point of deception that would in turn only re-create the same patterns of the past instead of genuinely creating a present with a solid realization of the solutions to implement in this world. So I’ve walked from the anti-system character to an individual that first walks this personal process of de-brainwashing through the dissident, the rebel, the antagonist to the system and instead walk a process of self responsibility to understand the problem, to see my direct participation within it and direct the problem toward directive solutions that we can all embody in the form of living principles. This is where I am now and it is certainly something never ever in my ‘wildest dreams’ did I envision myself doing, which is proposing solutions for this world system as it currently exists, placing political statements on a written and spoken manner suggesting ways to learn how to coexist as humanity since I had already agreed to ‘give up on humanity,’ which was really only ‘giving up on myself.’

This process is not yet done, every day, every minutest form of resistance, any movement toward the old patterns of sadness, despair and a giving up can emerge and that is where every moment I decide who and what I accept and allow myself to be. From this perspective the platform that we are developing as a group as Desteni is actually the perfect foundation to establish a solution at a global scale wherein the brainwashing, the problems in this world are understood and directed from within to establish clear directives without, as we learn how to understand the cause of the problem – ourselves, our own mind – and as such learn how to stand one and equal as the system to establish clear solutions without as the world system. This is the one process, the one ‘thing’ I have been the most consistent of within my life that was meant to veer from fad to fad seeking for more elaborate ways to justify my personal inaction to establish solutions – this time I have developed sufficient self-trust to place myself in a position where I can support myself and others to realize the points I’ve explained throughout this Witness blog as I can stand by the words explained here, having stopped participation in primary forms of personal reality evasions like alcohol or any form of drugs to stand sound and clear on a daily basis witnessing myself and this reality as one massive creation to turn into a genuine work of art, and that begins within myself, ourselves.

 

More to come…

 

Thanks for reading and walking with.

 

CaminandoelTripleProceso

Walking the Triple Process (2010)

 
The Revolutionary Character: From Activist, Anti-Politics and Anti System to Self Responsibility
The Elitist Character – Seeking Success and then Antagonizing the System

 

 DSC03310

Blogs and Vlogs on Brainwashing and Mind Control:

355. Activism and Mind Control |
2011 Activism Is Futile
2011 The Zeitgeist Movement: Resistance is Futile
98. Words as Mind Control |
183. Like and Dislike = Mind Control
2008- 21 days of no weed!
Communism stigmatized Equality
217. You Fear Communism? Why would That Be? |
Mind Control VictimsRead all about it! |
Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing
Occupy Wall Street’s Solution: Equal Money for ALL –
2011 Capitalism is Brainwash: Are YOU Brainwashed?
Earth Day? Please… Common Sense Required
You are what you Can Afford
2012 Money is MIND Control
2012 Gun Culture in America
2012 I Just Want to BE HAPPY – Equal Money? WHY Should I Care?
Sex, Drugs and…College? Hookup Culture
2010 I Use Alcohol on a Regular Basis

263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

How to Develop Common Sense? Desteni Process Support

 

 

And don’t forget to watch The Century of the Self 


308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS

 

“We have lost all Common Sense, in Pursuit of Happiness”

This is a comment on yesterday’s video which sums up the problem we have created for ourselves within this capitalist ideology and reinforcement of self-determination and individual rights, and the human being ‘an end to himself’ where we have forgotten that: no man’s an island and that no amount of money in the world would be able to materialize the work that only human beings working together are able to create, and that it is functional at the moment due to coercive means that we’ve accepted with statements like ‘Having to make a living’ and ‘Life is a Struggle.’  No society would be functional, no enjoyment, no freedom, no-nothing. However, we are living as if we truly were doing someone else a ‘favor’ for paying them to do us a job, instead of realizing that we simply would not be able to exist as we do now if people weren’t forced to do all the jobs that the majority of the people with more than enough  money would not place themselves to do, and their money sets the rules, and their power is the one that dictates – this is the relationship of power that we have delegated to Money and this is how it is said that

 

 ‘Might Makes Right’                                                    

 

Money became the conditional aspect of our Natural Rights, this means that we have no access to water, food, education, health care, housing or clothing if we have no money. And of course, this also means that Our Happiness is dependent on money too- this debunks any idea or belief of ‘self determination’ or ‘free will’ or ‘free choice’ because, if you have no money, no matter how much might you add to your prayers, food won’t appear on your table.  However those that have more than enough money then focus on pursuing Happiness, which is linked to an excess of money that enables the individual to indulge in luxuries and items that are determined to then help build/construct/ maintain and exacerbate the Individual, the Self, the special and unique being that now seeks to have a proper status, make a name/brand of himself, get the most success in relationships and business or any other endeavor that creates within him the Experience of ‘Power.’ This is what we have entertained ourselves with, why? Because:IT FEELS GOOD. This is all about realizing how we have come to define our lives according to Experience, which is why:

 

Pursuit of Happiness = Mind Experience where No Common Sense Exists

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

As everything else we’re walking in this blog, Words as Concepts and Actions can be Redefined toward a Best for All Outcome, however for the purpose of explaining the problem, we’ll leave this equation as it currently exists.

 

You reading these words are subsumed in a world where marketing has become the actual political power since we make more decisions based on ‘How a product/service makes us FEEL’ and how this new Item will make us ‘Look Expensive,’ instead of making decisions based on living principles, certainly we were not even aware of such Principles such as buying that which is necessary to live and that which will support our living expression as Life, not as a consumerist bot that builds up a self image to be well regarded in the relationship-trading market. Our lifestyles include conveniences like 24/7 always open supermarket where all our needs can be satisfied at any given time. But, who cares about those that have no access to such readily available realm of goods and services? No one cares, we haven’t cared, otherwise we would have become diligent enough to ensure the creation of a world system based on Living Conditions that honor each other individual within the recognition of them being ourselves as well, and we haven’t done that.

 

What will it take for us to understand that we cannot thrive unless we care for each other’s happiness?

As we’ve explained, our Rights stem from Morality which stems from Power, which means separation, abuse, struggle. This is how we’ve become so idiotically used to ‘Fight for our Rights’ when We must be the ones that Ensure that No ‘Might Makes Right’ equation determines how we live. Such condition has made us all accept a hierarchical system where the fittest, the strongest, the mightiest is the one that tells the story, sets the rules and has the ultimate say on whether the majority lives or dies, and we believe absolutism was a thing of the past? Well, no. Totalitarianism still exists today where our rights are not a Readily-Given Right, but are only available if one gets to have access to money to have them. This is worse than any other war that has taken place in the world, an ongoing silent war wherein we deliberate have left people to starve, just because they have no money, no right, and no might either.

 

“Morality would take one into a state of mind of only taking into consideration MY Opinion, MY View, MY perception/interpretation and how that makes ME Feel; when in a moment/direction/decision – there’s A LOT more involved/to consider than one’s own Mind Experience, and so the extent to which, consequentially, one Miss so much that is in fact involved with Decision making and Directive Principle in a Moment.” – Sunette SpiesLIFE-Regulation Practicality (Part Three): DAY 308

 

Why do we have to ‘Pursue our happiness’ and not have it as a natural living condition created by/stemming from the configuration of a social system based on living in equal-rights and responsibilities for all? 

Why have we accepted to strive and struggle as ‘the way the system functions’?

Why have we become so selfish to only seek for our own stardom, specialness and amassing of wealth while cynically ‘neverminding the rest’?

 

Change begins within by considering Happiness as a feel good experience that is only bought with Money, hence the declaration of Independence of the greatest promoter of Capitalism in the world- The United States of America – has set the ‘trend’ on how to move people’s emotional and feeling side as a force in itself to direct to sustain a system of money/greed/desires/power and generate the perfect conditions to Never Question why such happiness was not a readily given Human Right, and why instead we became so infatuated with How we look, How Others see us, How we can Improve our Reputation by owning more property or building a sculptural physique that could be also auctioned at the greatest bid for our own security to maintain such wealthy-living standard. It should be plain obvious that it is absolutely unsustainable to maintain this type of individual dreams multiplied by billions and expect the Earth, the system in itself to not crumble down to pieces. Our desires and wishes and dreams are the actual reasons to go to war, since Might makes Right and a Righteous Nation will use words like ‘Democracy’ and ‘Freedom’ to justify bombing entire countries for the sake of establishing an arbitrary control over other’s lands and population. And this is based on securing people’s pursuit of happiness, manufacturing and scheming pseudo terrorist threats to generate a moral standard of ‘fighting back to not look like a coward’ and justify the millions of lives that are usually lost in such magnanimous type of occupations as it is happening with people in Iraq and Afghanistan.

 

This is how each one’s desire to ‘be more’ and ‘be happy’ becomes an Excuse for the people we have voted for that are In Power, to decide an expansion of one’s power or ‘defense’ –  depends on the biased eye you want to use to look at things with – and wage war against countries that happen to be significantly resourceful in oil and other natural resources wherein the God given right to ‘Defend’ yourself or spread ‘Liberty, Democracy and Justice’ generates the divine access to invade and destroy some other country’s lives in the name of providing enough Happiness for people back home. And this is what we have become: a series of unsustainable desires that justify wars, the extinction of animals, natural resources, slave labor, free markets and lack of social services to all that haven’t precisely achieved their happiness.  This  means that all the feel good driven self-experience to be Happy overriding Common Sense to Support each other as Equals Must have its beginning and end within the individual.

 

We Understand the  level of hard-wiring that we all have wherein our entire education at Home and School has been about ‘Only caring for ourselves’  care about our own interest, our own dreams and happiness. We are not denying such dreams here or plunging yourself now into suffering or ‘giving away all your stuff’ to know what poverty feels like, we’re simply asking each one to take into consideration how Your Dreams can only exist if someone else is left out of that possibility in equality. That’s the basic polarity we have to become aware of: for some to win, others have to lose – there can’t be no ‘two winners’ within a system designed to enslave some to be left as losers to be the ones that build another’s dreams and wealth. This is the Power, the ‘Might’ to Correct, Align and Self Forgive in order to Demonstrate that the actual Power is of the People, By the People and that means All in Equality.

 

If having money ‘feels great’ then why not making the simple decision to make everyone happy/feel great by granting them the right to have equal opportunity to live in such comfortable well being that money provides? We are in fact only making everything more complicated and difficult the moment we agree to ‘pursue’ our happiness which creates competition, stress, rivalry and hatred among individuals we can instead decide to stop such separation and learn how to work as equals. That’s what we would want for ourselves, so let’s give it to all equally as well.

 

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

Freedom For Real - Equal Money

 

Blogs:

LIFE-Regulation Practicality (Part Three): DAY 308

 

Vlogs:


260. Homeless Drug Addicts Sleeping in Graveyards

260 is the amount of days in the Mayan Calendar Tzolkin and it happens to be the 260th day in this Journey To Life on the last day of this Gregorian calendar year, and the sounding of Tzolkin is like sulking – hence the association of what you’ll read in this blog today. Here’s to 2012 and all the false promises and prophecies that burnt to ashes as they should, so that no more hope is left within humanity, within the ‘wait and see’ attitude, indulging in numbers, planets, calendars and prophecies that only managed to keep everyone immobile for a long time, expecting ‘something’ to happen, adjudicating our global deterioration to some major shift that was about to happen by some divine ordeal, and no that is not a paradox, but that’s what we’ve managed to be and become in this world: making sense of suffering as some time of lesson to be learned to ascend to the heavens and become real benevolent beings after trials and tribulations that we imposed on ourselves.

 

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

Well, we’ve certainly come a long way as humanity in our gullibility to anything that leads to the promised land – whether ascension, extraterrestrials saving the world, the world ending, people suddenly being enlightened with a new consciousness –  this pretty much sums up the ignorance we’ve subsumed ourselves in, may the next year be the actual time to open our eyes, because the astonishing panorama of the end-times is hitting every graveyard near you, and no, it’s not zombies or the dead finally coming alive, but rather homeless drug addicts making a very valid statement: cemeteries are a waste of terrain that could be used for proper housing to those that have clearly nowhere to live/ nowhere to take a shit, no proper activity to do – how come we can expect things to ‘get better’ in our world by simply wishing-well for a ‘happy new year’ if we are neglecting to cover the basic services to dignify the lives of all human beings? I mean, what separates you/me from being such homeless addicted person sleeping in a graveyard? Do we have an extra elite-gene that allows us to have all the ‘good things in the world’? Are they damned? Were we born from godly creatures? Certainly we are all gods and quite irresponsible ones I’d say, since all our creative forces had been directed to satisfy an abusive self interest that has lead us to believe in external forces that could ‘solve the problem’ in our world, instead of realizing that we won’t certainly get to any form of ‘change’ if we are not even aware of what our fellow living earthlings are going through in this reality, an actual torture and physical suffering that is happening all the time, we’ve just decided to entertain ourselves properly to not be aware of it.

Bleak Future? No, rather looking at the consequences we manifested – seeing it through the positive or negative eye is just a matter of perception to either feel deludedly hopeful about something/ someone solving the matters of this world or feeling all down and negative within a depressive mood that leads us to simply justify our apparent inability to take responsibility for what we’ve become. Frankly, I’m tired of being either of as it is only the same irresponsible coin dressed up in victimization or cheerfulness that hides an inherent fear to face the reality that we are manifesting here, every single day. Now that’s the real alarming situation.

 

Homeless SLEEPING inside graves at Cambridge cemetery after pushing stones off the top of tombs

 

Homeless drug users were seen pushing the stones off the top of tombs and using them as beds for the night.

Horrified passers-by spotted the disrespectful squatters sitting in the graves in Mill Road Cemetery, Cambridge, while injecting themselves and drinking.

The site has been plagued by drunkenness, littering, drug taking and reports of the homeless people defecating on the plots over recent months.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255328/Homeless-drug-users-SLEEPING-inside-graves-pushing-stones-tombs.html#ixzz2GfopCaT4

 

Who would be more disrespectful: a person that is using a graveyard as a sleeping place due to being homeless a.k.a. an absolute ‘ghost’ and ostracized bastard son in society that is not being equally supported to have a dignified living, which would mean, having an actual Home to live in and develop an actual living-expression – OR people that buy pieces of land to bury organic matter in fancy 5-thousand-dollar caskets to preserve meat for the maggots to eventually eat, disregarding the fact that such massive amount of land could be used to build houses for those that have non?

 

Does anyone stop for a moment to ponder: hmm,  but why do they turn to drugs, why are they homeless? People get high with inhaling cement and paint as well as paint-thinner here in order to mitigate the pains that starvation brings. They can’t even afford to be drunksters. I actually had a chat with a hobo-drunk man in a day like today some 6 years ago. That’s probably the moment when I broke my own taboos toward ‘homeless people’ and never speaking to them – you know, that type of thing your mother tells you to do whenever one would see them sitting on the sidewalks begging for money. Last person I saw this way was in downtown Mexico City, we were all busy going around during the day of the dead, celebrating ‘death’ while allowing our people to starve, quite paradoxical as anything in our reality. He had his skin very tight on the ribs – I walked by and simply breathed – could I solve the man’s problem right there? No.  Is he the result of our accepted and allowed world-system that decides to ‘forget’ / neglect to support all people equally? Yes. That points out how our current ways of referring ourselves to ‘hobos’ and ‘drug addicts’ as the ‘scum of society’ is a blatant nice positive way of abdicating our responsibility toward them. Have we asked them HOW they got themselves to such position? What I’ve found is hobos were people as normal as you and I that decided to give up on themselves due to living in a world system that could not ‘afford’ to support them to continue having a proper living condition, and of course, having a hobo-life means you can get drunk all day and shoot up drugs because there’s ‘nothing left to live for.’ There are other conditions like kids living in the streets that are born in the streets and never get a change to get a better life, simply because: they’ve never known any better.

 

I bet you have been in the same situation, even if it is not drugs or being absolutely drunk all day, but you do have a ‘something to live for’ as a temporary high that you have regarded and cherished as that little piece of heaven to live for, which is usually a mind experience. Why have we reduced our lives to these temporary flicks? Well, if everything around us as the ways and methods in which ‘the system works’ are based on self abuse – meaning our relationship to ourselves as our physical body, the mind and what we do onto the Earth within this same mechanism – then it is obvious that no ‘exemplar citizens’ can stem from that. Only elitist people can rejoice in calling out ‘improper deeds’ such as being a ‘homeless drug addict that sleeps, shoots up drugs and shits in graveyards’ and missing out completely the fact that it is a Human Being that one is referring to, an equal and one to yourself/myself/ ourselves.

How hard is it to ‘compute’ that? Very, specially when being able to know more about these individuals and realizing that they are human beings just like you and me that simply had no support in one moment of their lives wherein they simply ‘lost it all’ – or never ever had anything in the first place – and with that, they lost themselves, went down the perceived ‘easy way’ such as getting high and drunk in an attempt to avoid facing the stark reality that this world becomes for someone when there is no money left to have a ‘wonderful beautiful life’ as any positive person or anyone with money – including myself- would claim to have.

 

When I was talking to that hobo, I realized that I was not seeing him as an equal of course, I was in my ‘doing good’ flickering moments of approaching that which I was supposed to stay away from and attempt to make of an actual confrontation of reality just another story to tell  – what did I learn? Nothing, the man was absolutely speaking like a broken record for an hour and then we parted ways, I continued with my life and all the dreams I had, seeking to be something ‘great’ and just keeping this memory as some ‘nice encounter,’ like a charity that one does to keep for a ‘future moment’ wherein I could look back at my life and say: yes! I once had a cool time talking to a hobo downtown and learned to appreciate everything that I  have and the opportunities life has given ME.

Wow, really, wow. This is how we all thing: thanking for the benefits we currently have while ignoring WHY we have simply decided to give ourselves this nice living condition and deliberately denying such equal right to everyone, in Equality – health, love, money – all new year’s wishes must be written in stone for the remainder of our existence to always give to each other the necessary means to live in dignity, no need t wish for that when we can practically agree to provide that for each other.

 

Back to the graveyard: preserving the corpses in fancy tombstones, for what? For another hundred years? I’ll present you what they end up looking like after some 300 years…

 

DSC08153

 

Great trophies for our future children? I would seriously propose no cemeteries to ever be created and placed as part of the planning of a city, it’s a huge waste of terrain that could hold instead a natural reserve where people could build their own earthship houses – how’s that? Too much dreaming? I don’t think so, I mean the entire business of the dead/ dying is quite a useless expense due to the belief that you have to preserve your body for whatever reasons you Be-Lie-ve you must. I mean, would you preserve a fish in your fridge till the end of your lifetime? for what? will you eat it then? does it serve any purpose? My father bought three spaces in a cemetery some years ago, I told him it is a waste of money, I want to be buried in a potato sack underneath a tree, or at least nearby where I can give this body back to where it comes from: the dust of the Earth.

‘One resident said she was shocked when she saw a male sitting on a grave with his trousers down injecting himself in his thigh in full view of everyone.’

The shocking sightings come as latest figures show an increase of 23 per cent in those sleeping rough in the UK for 2010-11.

Gail Marchant-Paisley, a city councillor for the Petersfield area of Cambridge, said problems with anti-social behaviour in the cemetery were long-standing but seemed to be getting worse.”

Welcome to the year 2013 on Earth, where people are still homeless, helpless, hooked on drugs and still having moralists complaining about their eyes being sore of seeing such barbarism while holding a magnificent plastic card in their purse that holds the power to prevent them to end up being such man or woman with no trousers and shooting up drugs to cope with a reality that has decided to forget about Them being human beings well.

 

We haven’t, we just have to get together to propose a solution and actually stand for what’s best for all, because we all KNOW what’s best for all and as such, it’s time to use our brains to develop a system that will ensure no more corpses are stored in massive areas of land that can be used to give proper living areas to people, where no more people will ever suffer from having no ability to live in dignity, and where drugs will only exist as a remnant of a past where humans had to ‘cope with reality’ to avoid facing the neglect imposed toward one another – this must be the end of the past and it begins with each one of us, we must be the ones that ensure no human being is ever again homeless and without proper living care, because there is more than enough for everyone, we just have to decide to give it to each other in Equality: www.equalmoney.org

 

Join us to give an end to the endless delusions in this world:

Desteni

Desteni Forum 

Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course

Equal Money System  – Capitalism made Functional for ALL beings as it always should have been.

 

R.I.P. 2012, a year of false prophecies and endless stories that only entertained ourselves – time to get our hands on the actual work to be done here.

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Blogs:
 
Interviews:

255. Your Life has been a Lie, What is Real Then?

 

Our lives have been like a play: you’re born into the world, you never question the script, you learn your lines, you do all you can to keep yourself in the role as you grow up, maybe even try and evolve the role or ‘out do’ it, but eventually only managing to become the exact opposite of what you originally were, which is still defined by the first role you begun playing in the first place – still a controlled form of rebellion. You accept limitations without a question because there must be a director out there that is ready to fire you/ punish you if you skip a line or two, or dare to give more of a ‘freedom’ in expression to your character. You accept the menial ways in which a ‘living’ is made, you learn ‘that’s just the way it is’ and conform to that since everyone else seems to be doing ‘just fine’ with it – you comply. You sometimes reflect back at your character and believe there is inherently something wrong with you, you realize that the character is not really who you really are since there is always this ‘something’ that ‘just doesn’t seem right,’ but you see all the rest of the characters/ people playing their part without a care, they seem perfectly normal and comfortable being their personalized selves, without ever actually communicating with one another that they also felt the exact same way you do, and pondered the same questions you had, but were too afraid to speak up out of being ‘odd’ to step out of the role and question the entire play to finally stop playing in it, because fear then came in: what will we be then? Who will I be without this role?

 

“When an Answer is Given and Received, there is No Living Force that can Give and Receive – because, what has been Received is Accepted and Allowed to be the ‘Only Answer’.
What Answers have you been Given, that you Received so Completely – that you Became it? Your Religion, your
Thoughts, your Feelings, your Culture, your Economic System, Education… See the Perversion of the Message of Jesus: “Give as you would like to Receive”, has been Adapted to: “the Answer Given, is the Answer Received”. And because the Answer is Given, you’re Rewarded when you Receive it. This is the Key of the Sacred Geometry Preprogrammed Design. The Program is the Answer – all you have to do is Receive it. And when the Platonic Solids go into Equilibrium as a System, you have Received the Answer and you have Become the Answer – Complete Acceptance and Allowance.” Bernard Poolman

 

For context read Day 255: The Answer is Given and Thus Received – Secret Geometry of Consciousness and God – Part 3 – ADC – Part 102 by Bernard Poolman

 

 

One single paragraph explains the history of our civilization wherein we simply assumed, believed, perpetuated such beliefs from generation to generation as the purpose of living, the why we are here, what we came here for. And because of all of us wanting to veer toward this ‘tuning in’ with the system, we all sought to be happy and fine and peaceful and glorious without a single question, without pondering why some others had to spend their entire lifetimes physically suffering for some others to have the greatest luck of all to be born in a golden womb. We accepted the answers ‘That’s just the way it is/ that’s the way things are’ and it is inevitable to not see this as a point that could anger all of us, because we all knew it all the way and still kept going, shoving aside all the questions that would emerge every single day, we kept going in the inertia of our own preprogrammed system.  This is the same pattern we have all lived out in one way or another where you know there is something that you must stop, that you simply cannot continue doing/ living within a certain pattern/ dependency/ addiction/ habit, but still: we keep on doing it.  And what’s even more shocking is that sometimes these patterns are the most difficult ones to give up, just because of the intricate relationship with energy, the habits/ patterns that we have patterned ourselves as ‘who we are,’ which becomes then an energetic dependency that we give names as ‘our identity’ our ‘likes, dislikes, preferences’ and justify with further given-answers that the rest accepts as an actual ‘how things are’ type of thing = answer-received.

But, it is even more tricky to question everything within a system that seems to be working ‘quite well’ even within its limitations – and this ‘quite well’ is the conformity aspect, the moment we gave into ‘how things are’ with its ‘ups and downs/ trials and tribulations’ that we have accepted as our life. This is ‘How it must be’ and then we create fantastic stories about religion, or having to suffer to earn some heaven, or coming to the Earth to learn some lessons and ‘earn a living’ because somehow there is something that must always remain as an unknown secret to our existence that we then believe we have to ‘seek for’ as ‘our truth’ and in that, man, you become lost, because all you’ll find in books and from person to person is nothing but the same preprogrammed answers that were deliberately ‘left’ for people to create the very belief systems that would become religions with strong faith in ‘god’ or something greater than us directing the show, within this not questioning ‘god’s creation’ because that’s what we are here, for, that’s what we must do then and be complacent about it. 

Perfect systems of control that are sugar coated with names like ‘the purpose of life/ finding god/ becoming enlightened’ which is only tuning into the utmost form of enslavement as the perfect system that will keep on existing with the same thoughts, feelings, emotions, personality systems and relationships created in order to get oneself to be ‘the winner’ in the play no matter what, because: that’s what we apparently have to be and become, because it looks good/ feels good = must be good and positive.

Suggest also reading 2012 Wake up, Character: Life is not a Play!

 

Biggest Lie we’ve all participated in – same point as being mesmerized by the perfection of all the systematic equilibrium of a system that functions upon abuse – just like a shiny car on the outside that hides inside all the machinery and processes that would not look as ‘glamorous’ as the external surface, because we’ve been so used to only go for the picture / image of it and that’s it, not question anything further, take it as is. Same goes with nature: we spiritualize it creating this marvelous idea of how it perfectly works but forget about the actual laws that are still defining such interactions, which are pretty much the same processes of any form of consumption/ destruction that must exist in order to survive as a system. This is how life and death is happening all the time, yet we’ve come to fear death and seek to be alive by equating ‘life’/ living to all things positive. Really?

 

 

This is the Key of the Sacred Geometry Preprogrammed Design. The Program is the Answer – all you have to do is Receive it. And when the Platonic Solids go into Equilibrium as a System, you have Received the Answer and you have Become the Answer – Complete Acceptance and Allowance.”

 

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Last post I wrote about creating an experience about the ‘order and control’ we see in our reality, wherein we seek harmony, peace, joy, bliss and all the positive things that we have been Taught and accepted and allowed it is what life is all about. One can probably resonate with things like ‘the meaning of life’ and having a purpose, having a goal, ‘all I want in life is to be happy’ and it is quite a shame to realize how we have been so limited to live the way we do with everything we deem as ‘our living’ which is obviously not acceptable – yet we all accepted and allowed everything as is. I asked many questions as a child and would take most of the answers as ‘how things are,’ there would always be this sting wherein I knew that such answer was insufficient, but I stopped questioning because everyone thinks that the moment you question a lot, you’re in to become a sad and depressed person, because somehow becoming aware of how things actually work in the world is something negative – that’s why when one presents an emotional turmoil when becoming aware of every form of abuse we’ve accepted and allowed in this world, we are only victimizing ourselves about something that we have all quietly and adamantly participated in, without a question.

“When an Answer is Given and Received, there is No Living Force that can Give and Receive – because, what has been Received is Accepted and Allowed to be the ‘Only Answer’.”

 

This is why and how we have never been alive, it’s only been systems that we’ve become and played without a question, because of accepting fear as a real limitation to see behind the scenes and go backstage to reflect upon the roles, to see, realize and understand why we are putting up this show for and if it is in fact something that is best for all. None of our lives have lead to a best for all outcome, nothing in this world is currently set to support actual life, but only overcome the obstacles that we created in the first place, only mitigate the consequences that we created and inflicted upon ourselves as a limitation, as ‘who we are’ from the beginning, only create a good experience to ‘help those in need’ while we’ve been the ones that neglected the unconditional support to all in the first place.

 

See the insanity we’ve created as ‘our lives’ and how futile it is to try and patch it/ band aid it with solutions that only try and fix patterns that are embedded in the very blueprint of who we are as our mind/body and the world system that we’ve built as a supportive platform to continue our limited existence as a mind-body in survival mode and seeking self interest above any form of living principle of equality.

The Education of how the mind works is a vital first step to realize all of this, to understand that we have never in fact Lived – and how it is at the same time absolutely possible to become a living-directive being if we direct ourselves to equalize our living to a best for all living process wherein we stop, self forgive and correct all the mind-driven activity that we have embodied without a question as the answer-given / answer-received relationship that kept the current status quo of abuse and disregard in this world without a doubt.

Please study the Quantum Mind Self Awareness interviews for further context as well as any other series at Eqafe that support one equally to become aware of who we are/ what we’ve become and how to walk the correction to stop being the abusive players leading to our own self-destruction.

 

The reason why we are doing this is because it’s clear that nothing in this world is working alright for anyone, not even those that ‘have all the money’ as they too depend on money to keep their personal-heavens in place. That is not sustainable and as long as one single being is being abused/ exploited to build another’s heaven = problem and we all must take the responsibility to solve it by creating a feasible solution that will ensure that within this system, we grant each other equal access to everything we requite to live. Thus it is our living principle to stop the system from running in this zombie-mode and actually wake up to see what we have accepted and allowed as the absolute configuration of ourselves as individuals in this preprogrammed system that ensured lack and wealth for people in an arbitrary mode, all for the sake of keeping some energetic system that runs on polarity to keep its ‘perfect functioning’ without ever questioning why abuse and suffering must exist to keep this perfect-functioning running ‘smoothly’ apparently.

 

The show must end, and nature, the animal kingdom are already standing up, it is only us now that are unaware of this and must become so if we are really willing to become part of the solution to this mad show we’ve ignorantly accepted and allowed. Till here no further, because we are unaware of the hell that billions have to go through in order to ‘make it’ through this hellish place we’ve made of ‘our world,’ without counting the uncountable amount of species and Earthly resources as the substance of the physical that we are abusing to ‘run the show’ as well.  What’s Real is the physicality that we embody, the physicality we consume to keep existing and it is clear for sustainability purposes that we must consider at all times all beings as part of the equations that can ensure life in equality becomes the given-fact in our reality. What do we have to do then? Walk our individual processes to stop blindly participating in the systems of control and abuse that we have accepted and allowed as ‘how things are,’ that’s deprogramming the limitations we’ve imposed to ourselves.

 

The only way to follow through that is acceptable is implementing the Equal Money System that will ensure all living parts and participants in this world are equally regarded and given support within an agreement to never again accept abuse and harm upon fellow living beings as a ‘must do’ in order to make ‘life’ possible on Earth.

 

Walk with us this Journey To Life, to remove all conditions and limitations we’ve accepted as ‘who we are/ how things are’ and direct our lives to be of actual substance, meaning and purpose: to live as equals, how it always should have been.

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course to Step out of the Play

Unexpecte

 

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Interviews:


253. Birth of New Consciousness–Spiritual Spitefulness

All you got to do is find your way

All you have to do is hold positive thinking

All you have to do is find the light

All you have to do is listen to your higher self

All you have to do is expect things to come  your way

All you have to do is be willing to surrender

All you have to do is seek out your greatest excitement

All you have to do is HOPE for a better time, it’ll come your way

All you have to do is find it in  your heart to give love

All you have to do is to Wait for what is about to happen

All you have to do is find your way to your heart, whatever it takes

All you have to do is become a servant of god

All you have to do is embrace your true power

All you have to do is live to the fullest and enjoying every moment

All you have to do is realize you are eternal, you cannot be lost

All you have to do is realize this world is an illusion

All you have to do is Relax, you’re gonna make it

All you have to do is look into the future and have Faith you’ll be alive

All you have to do is …. wait for more 3 years and if the world keeps going as we are and no one’s changing – then, the Mayan Guys were Wrong! LOL Sorry!

 

Aren’t such empty words another form of abuse? Absolutely  since people are genuinely asking for help/ support and all they get is fluffy words that are in No way physically, tangibly applicable and livable and in exchange, they get a good laugh from someone that is willing to perpetually lie for the sake of getting good money out of hypnotizing people with nice fluffy sugary messages that take advantage of the gullibility and state of perpetual fear that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

These are all sentences you will usually get from any spiritual master and guru or channeler/ medium that claims to bring good news to the world. I was not aware of Tolle or Neale Donald Walsch, Icke or Drunvalo until I got to Desteni. And today for the first time I decided to hear what Drunvalo has to say, which is no different to any of the afore mentioned people that claim great answers reside in words like ‘love’ and ‘good will’ and ‘following your journey’ – without ever really questioning what’s of substance that is livable and applicable behind those overrated words. There’s a simple way to approach someone’s work: any piece of interview/ writing you take from any individual to investigate what they promote/ stand for, represents who they are and becomes an integral and individual account of all their body of work, since all words we speak and write ourselves as represent the point of expression we accept and allow ourselves to exist-as, not to be taken ‘lightly’ of course. This is something we also apply with ourselves as Destonians, wherein any blog we write stands as an account of sharing that which is Self Supportive for any human being that may stumble upon our writings.

What you read above is a series or patterns of sentences that I ‘picked’ up while listening to a looped video that appears on Drunvalo’s website which is no different to what any other spiritual guru’s replies wherein all is about waiting, hoping, visualizing futures, sending positive vibrations, believing in higher selves, expecting something to happen as a matter of prophecy and repeating a lot of times that he wants to help, but shows no other way other than repeating the same statements over and over again. That is not different to any channeled message you get from any entity that claims to profess some light and love and blessings for humanity. I have already repeated myself as a result of having to make something very clear here:

What is neglected, ignored or blatantly sugar coated here? Basically Everything that we are as human beings within our thoughts, words and deeds that have shaped and molded the current world we live in. One must dare to be Self Honest when sticking to a ‘spiritual highness’ while hating your neighbor inside your mind. Wanting to ‘do good’ and bring about ‘peace and joy to the world’ while satisfying one’s juiciest greedy desires. For an account of all the actual nitty gritty details of what we’ve become – and none of the spiritual teachers ‘teach you’ how to deal with – you can read any of our Journey To Life blogs and any blog you pick from the archives of this very blog here. What you’ll find is ourselves, people that once held ‘high spirits’ for change, hope and bliss and were equally high to anyone that is at the moment seeking a solution to the problem that we’ve made of our lives in this world  in sugar coated words that repeat like mantras intended to keep a human being subdued, like sedatives/ drugs to ‘calm down’ the mind and any intent for actual ‘critical thinking’ that should be veered toward questioning virtually everything of this world that we’ve blindly followed as ‘who we are’ and ‘why we are here.’

 

 

We’re taking responsibility for everything we have become. We are no longer ‘waiting’ and we understand that there will be No Transformation of Consciousness, since consciousness is the very part/ aspect of what we’ve become that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to direct our lives in the name of following energy/ the mind/ all the illusions and delusions of grandeur that could separate us more and more and more from the physical body, from the matter that is here and that is currently existing as the manifested consequence of us following our heavenly minds waiting and hoping for something just ‘great’ happening our way.

 

What happens is: it’s very easy to get excited about a ‘change’ in spirituality, as that usually implies no physical change, because of the excuse that ‘it is at a spiritual level’ = invisible/ non tangible level;  one would have to be deliberately fooled to not see the lies within this. 

 

Realizing that we have to In Fact work with ourselves in the very detail of who we are and what we’ve become is the reason why many are too afraid to give up that which makes you feel good, special and enlightened, as that’s what spirituality basically sells. What’s not usually understood is how liberating it is to stop waiting, hoping, dreaming, praying chanting, wishing, having faith, carrying stones, crystals, cards, reading endless books of positive messages, hearing channeled messages, watching people sitting on white blankets laughing at you if nothing happens in 3 years from now on… At Desteni we have instead begun a process of Self Forgiveness for having sought for solutions outside of ourselves or in any piece of ‘miraculous message’ or expecting ‘angels’ to be guiding us to fulfill any spiritual journey.

 

The only journey is getting ourselves out of this hell that we are blindly veiling with deception after deception of which spirituality and all things invisibly ‘great’ are causing as a result of a Collective Unconsciousness, wherein we’ve been literally existing as mind-drones following the mind’s/ consciousness direction that will only regard Energy and all things abusive to Life and never ever questioning but WHY are we waiting, hoping, praying, asking for something while all we can see is each other on Earth destroying all? Why would we even have to wait for a change if all changes are visibly aspects of a political, economical and social system that requires basic principles as a foundation to manage ourselves as humanity. Anything less than investigating this reality as the actual Problems we’re facing will lead you again to hoping, waiting, chanting and hypnotizing yourself into believing there’s nothing to do and some magic wand will come and wipe our mess all of a sudden.

Visit the Capitalism vs. Equal Money Group for further context of what is Really Real.

This is the actual disease and mental disorder, fellow human beings, the acceptance and allowance of the excitement for all things ‘positive’ while deliberately ignoring and neglecting HOW we caused the problems in the first place.

There is support for you to actually give an END to the lies that we’ve fed ourselves with and that we’ve all co-operated with, since Money is no different to any other spiritual tool that only works for some chosen ones only. Investigate Desteni, Equal Money System and realize that there is no God/ Alien/ Force going to save us, but we require to rather stop fooling ourselves, take the wheel of our lives here on Earth, educate ourselves, educate our children within the principles of Equality to make everyone aware of the level of abuse that hoping, waiting, wishing leads to: a lazy humanity that is willing to follow prophecies till the end of their individual lifetimes and allow kids to continue being starved and women to continue giving birth to beings in this world that exists in negligible conditions, instead of actually caring just a little bit about the lives of those that genuinely physically suffer on Earth, a suffering that is the direct outflow of those with light/money/energy – which is all of us that have the ability to write, speak, have education and the means to publish this and as such, make a decision to support what is REALLY HERE as the Real Problems that have always begun at a thought level, which is the spiritual realms we have all embodied and spited life with – it is time to Stop.

Get to know yourself: Investigate the Desteni Lite Process, a Free Online Course wherein  you’ll be able to actually ‘find your way’ through your own directive will to write yourself to become aware of all of which we have participated in as a force of self interest instead of having considered the laws of the physical wherein each individual part is required to stand as a responsible-actor and walk a corrective process to ensure we don’t ever delude ourselves with our own words as creations that stand for a fallacy that is diverting our actual ‘point’ of our lives, which is ourselves as physical beings, as part of the whole. This is the actual Standing up for Life that no one in their full sanity and self awareness will turn down as an opportunity to finally learn how to live.

 

Further Support

 

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Further delusional news:

Meet the women who talk to angels: Ever felt that someone’s watching over you? A survey reveals 41 per cent of us believe in heavenly guardians

Educate yourself about the Lies brewed in the Heavens:

Blogs:


249. Can’t stop the Cookie from Crumbling

 

Consequence is all around us. Creating an experience about what we’ve done and become only complicates everything. I noticed myself assessing my reality and ‘the world’ when coming back to ‘my origins’ and I realized to what extent I have lived in a bubble, no matter where you are, as long as you have money you are protected and separated from Reality. Everywhere it is like a scenario put up to attract money and become a winner, everywhere we all know we lie to each other to get to such positions and such lies and competition are some of the basic components that reveal what we have become.

I discussed many things about our current society and reality, but it all just ends in a hoping-experience stemming from others, that somehow a thing or two will ‘ring a bell’ to make a change, which would still exist as a self-limitation, because every one that is willing to be part of the change, will initiate it themselves.

Continuing from:

The real problems we have neglected in the name of entertaining ourselves so gossip about, it is our responsibility as every word that we speak without awareness of the consequence only adds up to the already existent pile of ‘meaningless lives’ that we have lived, and it’s not to bring anything or anyone down, but it’s plain to see that if the if the Human Race was to be wiped out of the face of the Earth, a small amount of beings would truly be missed, and that says much about who we are and what we have become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever stop desiring to keep going and be alive, without having ever really lived and never having given myself the opportunity to test out what it is to Live the Words I speak and as such, become the principle and directive force as myself, as an individual that recognizes one’s own ability to stand up and live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever seek for ‘an end’ to myself or humanity as a whole, not realizing that in such situation there would be no self-realization of why we became the very reverse of life incarnated and as such, miss out the entire point of living this life of consequence.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how easy it is to get ‘lost’ in the bright and warm colors in reality as all the comfort and security that money is able to provide, wherein one is able to be the one that spares some ‘change’ to a kid selling chewing gum during traffic lights, most likely sent by parents that know a kid triggers more compassion than adults will ever do. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become ‘used to’ this and forget the very initial shock I got from witnessing this reality, which is clearly a blatant demonstration of how we have made things just normal and go without a care about anything/ anyone else but ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to never really look at all the ‘items’ I possess and disregard its origin and source and as I went reading the tags, realize that having more than enough of what we really use is accumulation, is capitalism, is what we were taught to believe in, and that I pay for the slave labor that creates my clothes and shoes alike. And within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that every single thing that I have paid for and that I have used, contains a form of abuse, of blood and death and this is no exaggeration, since we just have to investigate the lives of the millions working in factories and sweatshops, producing the most clothes in an astounding record of time– and we are so clever to buy that to an irrational price – as all prices are – wrap it up with nice paper  and gift it as a demon-stration of love and appreciation – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how easy it is to justify the abuse of what creates our ‘ownerships’ just because of having paid for it, which makes us all equally responsible for any unfair labor that has been used as the production of our ‘goods’ and services that we simply take for granted, unaware of the lives of those in the positions of extracting, manufacturing, producing and distributing these goods and services, that are the actual ones that do all the labor but instead, we buy brands, we buy names, we buy prices and as such, enslave each other to become the very fuel to a system of abuse, by simply neglecting how everything that we buy and consume was created.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to neglect our living-beingness as human beings wherein we just accepted ourselves to seek for a reason and purpose to live and in this, diverting our attention to anything and everyone else but life in itself as who we are, and this is a grave mistake that we have all co-created, and we have to all face with, as that is currently our equality: having to go through equal consequence so that we learn from first hand what we have done and not done onto ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist in such a self interest toward myself and the world wherein I continually looked for ‘myself’ outside of myself and believing life was about a meaning – and in this, become oblivious to everything and everyone that was working in a continuous manner in order to sustain the world-system we are living in now, wherein only a few humans are able to have the amount of time to ‘ponder’ about reality while missing out the real-problems and real-physical struggle on Earth.

 

When and as I see myself hitting the ‘low’ and ‘depressed’ state about how humanity exists at the moment – I stop and I breathe as many times as necessary to ensure I am back HERE on Earth and not going into an experience about the world – and realize one thing: me being/ becoming depressed about the current state of humanity and life on Earth makes no difference or stands as No Solution to what I see and realize must be done and live d in this reality – thus in essence, emotions and feelings are but a distraction to what is Really going on here as physical processes and equations that are being blatantly disregarded.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice letting another know about the actuality of the problems in this world as a means to open up their eyes, without realizing that there is no need to convince another from realizing/ doing something that will support each other as equals – self realization implies sharing without wanting others to do the same, but living as the example of what it is to genuinely care and that’s where real responsibility resides in.

 

I commit myself to bring myself back here to Earth as I share myself and anything that I’ve become ware of that is leading to any of the current consequences in our Reality and instead share how the basic point is to stop participating in any diversion from self-application if one is absolutely decided to face the consequences and be willing to get back to honor ourselves and each other through facing the consequence.

 

I commit myself to stop making an experience of consequence and also when and as I communicate about it, as I realize there is quite a journey to walk here as consequence in order to become aware of what we’ve become in its totality and that wanting to prevent this from happening or altering anyone’s awareness about it in an incisive manner can only lead to further creation of consequence. Thus I stand as a stable and equanimous person that continues to realize the extent in which we have neglected ourselves, all life that we have used and abused to construct our ‘ideal lifestyles,’ growing consequence without an awareness of how everything we thought we could just escape from ever having to face again is always here as manifested consequence, as our result of any parasitical relationship of abuse.

 

There are things we cannot just assume are not ‘here’ any longer, and as such, I follow through with the  path we all must walk to realize ourselves and our responsibility to every single word and action we decide in every moment that we are here and also show how money becomes a comfortable veil to not face what others as ourselves are facing every single day, which cannot go ‘unnoticed’ any longer.

This is not evil, this is not bad, this is being real and self-honest: there is no way out of this that won’t involve having to give up the self that can continue avoiding facing consequence and responsibility for what we’ve become. Thus, I take a breath and continue walking as there is certainly nothing else to do and live in this world but the solution to all that which we have tried many times to escape from.

 

We might not be able to stop what has been set in motion in unawareness and gone to a full extent of consequence to depletion, death and permanent damage on Earth, but we can begin living lives wherein we realize that prevention is the best cure, and as such seeing how there is a lot we have missed in our reality due to having honored the mind and not the physical, and that the time has come to face what we’ve abused in the name of self interest.

 

To be continued

 

 

 

 

Blogs:

 

An Interview you can’t miss

One of the keys to our reality revealed here: 


248. Are you Depressed about the End of the World?

What comes after we become aware of the current state of this accepted and allowed levels of destruction, annihilation and death everywhere as an outflow/ consequence of our accepted and allowed lifestyle? Self-Experience of all of which I have walked throughout these past blogs: helplessness, worry, dismay, concern, preoccupation, sadness, suicidal thoughts, wanting to ‘give up’ whatever we are doing, hoping to just die and end our experience here, hoping to end suffering through praying/ wishing/ chanting for change?

 

Continuing from:

 

I was washing the dishes this morning and on the radio comes ‘Give Peace a Chance’ and one is for a moment embraced by this ‘heart-felt song’ that reminded me of the entire documentary that John Lennon and Yoko Ono made in relation to their days in bed in a Hotel in Montreal, wherein they made this ‘pacific statement’ of make love not war – and the moment shows how people were gathered in that hotel room chanting and getting all emotional with their nice vibes and intention to ‘give peace a chance,’ lol. I mean yes, one can understand that coming from any of us that has never experienced what being a ‘casualty of war’ implies or being directly sent to ‘fight a war,’ creating a nice positive experience as a way to prevent it might seem like an adequate thing to do – but did anything change from any peace and love moment? No, if only it only lead to further dissociation of reality through the use of drugs as a temporary ‘ailment’ to ‘cope with reality’ that has become more like a worldwide crisis when it comes to seeing how many people are on drugs – either on a legal/prescribed or illegal manner . Now that we see and realize that what’s ahead within our human lives is not going to be nice or pretty, I’m sure that many might be going through the stages of planning/ plotting a ‘way out’ of the Earthly scene.

 

I want to share here just a single consideration, which is why suicide/ giving up was a discarded point for most of us that would get initially overwhelmed with the realization of who we are/ what we’ve done/ what we’ve become and simply thinking that it is just Too Much!

 

When I began reading/ hearing  Desteni, it also implied getting on a daily basis a lot of videos from all types of documentaries that would show/ reveal the abuse in this world. I at first had to ‘play strong’ and watch them all – this included of course basic education on how the monetary system worked and some basic conspiracy theories to learn how to discern reality over schizo-media frenzy. Of course I wasn’t used to being Aware of the reality of this world, as I had spent those last years focusing on reading about religions, spirituality, the occult and everything that seemed like a ‘nice thing’ to divert my attention from reality with, I was living in Hope I can say, definitely.

So, when reality hit the door along with Desteni, I went into an emotional turmoil wherein I spent almost one whole day manipulating myself with thoughts and crying because it was apparently just ‘too much.’ Was I in fact in such actions being responsible in any way or was I only focusing again on MY Experience only? Of course the latter is the correct point. It was a non stop point and I was travelling so I made a show of myself weeping throughout the whole trip from the moment I left home and went to my home city, it was endless drama – of course also then my family started saying I should ‘stop seeing all of that’ just because of how I made an experience out of becoming aware of the absolute destruction we’re imposing on Earth.

 

I recall that moment as a manipulation point because I got to be aware how ‘feeling bad’ for the things that go on in this world is only again going into a Mind-Emotional experience that serves no other purpose but as another distraction from what is HERE and what I have to actually focus on, which is stopping participating in my emotional and feeling outbursts that were actually created out of me Thinking about destruction, Thinking about depleting the forests, Thinking about Animal Abuse, Thinking about all the filthy corruption that is governing our countries, Thinking about the gigantic plaster in the ocean, Thinking about all the species that are going extinct every single day as a direct effect of our consuming-producing civilization. Did me Thinking and crying about this made any difference? No. And I certainly recall going past the mountains in the bus and just bursting out crying again, lol, it seriously was a tear-jerking mind possession, I have no other words for that and after I cross referenced it back then I realized that I had made only a Show of myself, and manipulated me into ‘Feeling Bad’ about the destruction in the world, going again into hopelessness/ helplessness, wanting to just ‘give it all up’ and seeing no future.

 

What’s interesting now is that even if I am and continue to be aware of the destruction, depletion going on in this world, I realize and have integrated within myself that generating any form of experience is truly only In My Mind and that it is only Self Interest to do that – Anu explains it flawlessly here:

Reptilians – Am I Real – Part 37

Now, I invite you to check out our constantly updated Facebook Group wherein all of the reality-show of this Earth is being presented through the latest Human Endeavors – now, how could I just ‘cry’ upon that, seriously, if everything we’re doing within this world is based on absolute self interest wherein anyone creating an Experience about the state of the world would be the definition of hypocrisy, really.  (For further understanding on this word, please read:  Day 39: Hypocrisy

 

Link to Facebook Group here:

Capitalism vs. Equal Money

 

Once you’ve read through the posts you’ll be in tune to follow through with this blog wherein   we’ll keep walking the self forgiveness on this self-experience in relation to How we are destroying the world, the animals, all living species and still dare to become emotional about it, feeling sorry for ourselves as humanity, feeling depressed/sad/anxious which will certainly not stop the oil from being pumped into your car, will not stop children from being raped, murder, sold, abused for profit and deviant pleasures, will not stop animals from being sold, tortured, used and abused for any form of profit, as well as for mass consumption to supply our ‘genius’ fast food lifestyle, will not stop the air from being polluted in faster than sound-like lifestyle that is fueled by oil all around, will not stop the slaves building our gadgets from having to work illegal amount of hours under pressure or even committing suicide as a way out of their personal hell won’t stop mothers from having to abandon their children for not having food to feed their newborn, will not stop a person from opting to go to war as a means to save their families/ get some money from such a mindless job, won’t stop people from consuming precious items that come from the most heinous ways of abuse upon life, won’t stop people from shooting themselves up with drugs or bullets to ‘escape reality’ as that would be quite similar to us becoming emotional and feeling hopeless and powerless to do anything about this world.

 

See the point?

For a moment I suggest you look at the information that’s being presented through the news, see if any reaction comes up and Self Forgive it, for example if you react to watching the documentary in an emotional way, you can apply the following self forgiveness:

Garbage Island: An Ocean Full of Plastic (Part 1/3)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel absolutely worried and anxious about the plaster of plastic on the ocean and feeling helpless about me being able to do anything to stop/ solve the problem, without realizing that me being/ becoming sad about the manifested consequences of our current ‘lifestyles’ is not going to solve the problem, nor will it enable use to be empowered to fix the problem – thus, I breathe and stabilize myself to rather continue informing about what is going on in this world, investigating how I am directly involved and responsible for the current situation in our world and How I can become part of the solution.

I commit myself to stop living only as a victim of our reality and instead, stand as a self responsible being that is willing to face the consequences we’ve all manifested in our reality as a consequential outflow of our current lifestyles and consuming conditions and within this to realize that I am part of the solution through directing myself to take responsibility for myself, my mind and my reality.

 

Visit Equal Money System wherein a recent goal has been added that reads the following:

Goal: Stewardship

Within an Equal Money system it will be recognized that Humans are a part of the Ecosystem they live in. The word ‘eco’ stands for ‘home’ – and thus, each human will be responsible for maintaining the Balance and Harmony within their home, within their Ecosystem. This involves the Monitoring of the Well-Being of the Plants and Animals within one’s Environment and to Intervene when Disharmony occurs as a result of Human Impact, so that a new Equilibrium can be established.

source: http://equalmoney.org/goals/16-stewardship

 

If anything, one should seriously have the courage to listen to what Animals have to say about ourselves as species, it is the most humbling walk through what we’ve become and within that, we might get a bit over ourselves and focus on the reality of the things as the actual process that must be walked to realize to what extent we have separated ourselves from what is HERE and what is REAL and certainly what we are missing out while living in such conflictive ways between our mind and physicals while waiting/ hoping/ dreaming about the world to end or suddenly be renewed. Rather stick to reality and what is actually here as a result of our negligence – give yourself a Self Awareness Gift to enjoy these ‘numb’ days where everything seems to be about giving further products with no other purpose than continuing the same capitalistic mechanisms of consuming-being happy –repeat again, rather support Life:

 

I got no particular suggestion, rather pick an animal that you like and hear what he/she/it’s got to say, all are equally ‘enlightening’ to see what we’ve become, what we neglect and how we can fix the problem  for sure.

 

Now, that is what we can all begin applying already, becoming aware of how Money has being a factor that has lead us to neglect the basic balance/ harmony between humans and the Ecosystem, that implies all living beings in it.

 

Within this, we can see that there is actually a lot to do other than giving up and throwing ourselves out of the window – so to speak. There is no point in wallowing since we will have to get up/ stand up anyways, and even at death, there is no way out since the process that we are going through is existential and no one is truly ‘out’ of this in any way – if any, process in the afterlife is most consequential as many beings have been able to attest in the Life Reviews at Eqafe and here a real nice wake up call I suggest you give to yourself after reading this blog and realizing that you in fact got all the potential to become part of the solution:

 

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245. Sublimity and Ecstatic Self Experiences

 

When looking at the sublime and the end of the world relationship, there’s more of a physical  effect of the energy as an experience that I would participate in wherein the usual ‘setting’ was me listening to some music and painting that which I would get an entire energetic kick out of, finding my own ‘mysteries’ which weren’t mysteries but simply a way to keep myself waiting for something to happen that could change this world for better or total destruction.

To me total destruction made more sense according to what I was witnessing in our reality and as such, probably generated a fear in the first place toward this, later on turning it into a fascination that remained as part of my ‘topics’ and recurrent themes wherein I stated many times that I didn’t know what else to paint but the dread, suffering, destruction and all the usually seen as ‘negative’ aspects of reality, that’s probably one of the reasons I decided to study art, because I thought there was something very important to say with regards to making visible that which is usually feared, never really looking at how the experience in itself had become my actual excuse and justification when doing it, because there weren’t any actual ‘skills’ in the formal way of looking at ‘art,’ but just a desire to express – this is the point of separation here.

So, through my decision having been based upon energy as an experience I came to ‘enjoy,’ I became an energy junky for all things dramatic, gloomy, somber, macabre, lugubrious, destructive, decay, etc. This is part of the energetic experience that I exist as whenever I am not here simply breathing, it became ‘me’ to a physical extent that I would not be aware of how the totality of my physical expression was denoting this ‘dread’ and ultimately existing as a point of victimization, a ‘loud cry’ for some form of help, absolute drama and self-pity without ever considering I could simply support myself, take responsibility for my so-called ‘sadness’ and constant melancholia and focus on living, or actually learning how to live for the first time.

Throughout this process I have stabilized myself tremendously with regards to this constant ‘self-experience’ I’ve described above, that would veer toward seeing everything as too fucked to have any form of solution – I decided to stop being so full of myself and instead begin supporting me. I have managed to stop depressive moods as a ‘constancy’ within me and whenever it comes up, it is an experience that doesn’t last that much, because I cannot fool myself that easily any longer to ‘think’ myself into an experience, which is awesome but it is in fact a constant self dedication to Stop participating in energy and it’s like me for a moment talking to myself in relation to who I am in the moment and talk myself to get up and keep going.

 

When I am painting I am not creating any emotion any longer, it mostly actually serves as a point to just focus my attention out of words for a moment, there’s not a ‘longing’ for it since last time I deliberately thought I ‘wanted to paint,’ I realized that it was mostly the longing in itself that I was participating it, and it’s the typical experience wherein once you got what you want, you don’t want it anymore, because it wasn’t the thing/ activity/ moment or sometimes even the people themselves that we actually want to experience ourselves with or in, but only the constant friction and conflict that this ‘unattainable desire’ creates as a point of distraction and mind preoccupation.

 

Hence we are entering the realm of pictures and sounds as music. Now that’s the freaking nitty gritty stuff I haven’t dealt with as much, because of not knowing how to ‘deal’ with applying self forgiveness on the energetic experiences gotten from points like talking about the end of the world, listening to ‘overwhelming music,’ and watching anything that would make my body get these absolutely overwhelming chills which I defined according to me being a more ‘emotional person,’ which as I have walked in the past blogs, it was just another way of giving myself more of a ‘humane’ credit other than being  just a ‘smart/ intelligent person,’ that I didn’t want to be categorized as.

 

These end of the world paintings would be part of my ‘unspoken’ self-discourse  that I would mostly only paint but not speak about it, except for that time in high school that I participated in heated debates about it, lol, defending 2012 at all cost while arguing with my English teacher.

 

So, how I created this energetic ball of energetic experience:  I found the ‘right soundtrack’ to be listening to while doing my creations and voilá it became a constant element, even when taking pictures, always headphones on and looking reality as a movie I could glide through, focusing on my own dread and self-experience because, as any energetic experience, it doesn’t matter if it’s positive or negative: we become hooked on any energetic experience.  And so, me being ‘hooked on emotions’ meant cultivating this constant self-view of life that was later on placed into paintings, hence the emotional attachment/ experience that I wanted people to ‘feel’ as well, and you know that entire dribble of art and emotions…

 

The sublime experience at a physical level, it is that type of excitement/excitation you experience throughout your physical body – sometimes it is like the usually called goosebumps, which I had asked specifically in relation to Godspeed’s music – which wasn’t only me since other forum member also asked about the same song and the same experience – which then made it clear that it was a usual systematic experience according to how I had defined such music to be. What were the emotions then?  This overwhelming experience that becomes just like any other energetic experience turns out to be quite addictive, hence the constant listening to such music wherein I had no regard to stop such energetic movements, but simply went on, fully believing that it was in fact me reacting with such overwhelming experience.

 

Now, I have practiced breathing throughout these chills that come up every time that this experience emerges automatically  – and this would be no different to when I would participate in me being in a mindset of ‘end of the world scenario’ and just being sad and gloomy for what the world had turned out to be – all of this self-interest as self experience obviously.

 

I remember when I was very little, it was around 91-92 and we were outside the house and people were into this hype of UFO’s being visiting and whatnot, and as we were looking up to the sky I experienced what I thought was extreme cold, but no, it was this quivering energetic sensation that we can call goosebumps/ chills and it would get to a point wherein I would quiver inside me. I have felt the same experience in any other point of absolute fear that I have even called attraction or fascination for something. This explains very well what this ‘overwhelming’ experience at a physical level actually is: an actual energetic experience. And, I must say that the reason why I became a music junky was precisely because of these experiences that I thought I liked, but it’s mostly due to all the energetic experiences I have added to the entire setting: painting/ thinking about all the death/ destruction and decay and listening to that music. This is how it became quite a ‘energetic cocktail’ of experiences that I cultivated within me: we got the thoughts, the emotional experience and the sounds becoming a single ‘atmosphere’ that I would experience as a form of individualized trance – it is no different really to simply being high on happiness or any other energetic experience, however it is my responsibility to be able to equalize myself to such experience that I had not really taken on because of actually lacking understanding on what this experience as excitement/overwhelming experience that I could define as ‘sublime’ experience – for a lack of a better word – was actually really about: just another point of fear turned into a fascination.

 

 

Self Forgiveness in this Sublime energetic experience:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the experience of absolute fear as a point of fascination in relation to imagining and thinking about ‘the end of the world,’ wherein I believed that I was in fact enjoying thinking about it and constantly representing it through paintings and mixing it with music, without realizing that in this, I was only creating my own points of energetic experiences that I aligned myself to as a form of pleasure and delight, which is the ‘sublime’ experience wherein all that I would exist as is an energetic experience, a thrill and chills that I came to define as an enjoyable experience.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get hooked on emotions as an enjoyable experience simply because my life was too plain and I required some form of friction, conflict and excitement that I could create in a certain way –thus in this, using the point of creativity and music as a way to generate emotions and feelings so that I could exist as a mind experiencing itself, instead of me having been simply present within and throughout these creative explorations that I could have breathed through and express as a physical movement without thinking about it in order to FEEL something as an energetic movement which I believed would make the expression Real.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to Feel and become emotional to do any form of expression, simply because that’s what I learned from others: focusing on the ‘feeling’ of the expression which I then fabricated in my mind in relation to painting that which would cause any form of experience within me, hence the nature of the paintings being allusive to the end of the world, just because of how I had programmed myself to fear and then create an excitement about such end and represent it through painting and music creation with several emotions that could point out a negative emotional experience that I came to enjoy.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to reduce my expression, limiting and defining it according to the amount of energy as a physical effect that I could measure, wherein the more ‘excited’ or energetic thrill I would get while creating it along with the music, the thoughts, I would consider the expression to be more ‘real,’ and as such consider the opposite: the less I would get an energetic experience as an internal satisfaction of excitement while painting or after having finished, I would consider that I wasn’t really successful in my creation or that I was lacking some form of inspiration, wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define dread, depression and a general negative emotional experience within me as the perfect state for creation, which comes from the beliefs that only through suffering and being experiencing a certain dread and negative experience about oneself could one be ‘genuine’ in art creation, which was the reason why the immediate words linked to art creation were emotions and feelings as expression.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my self expression as emotions and feelings and believe that they were indispensable components for me to express anything in a True manner/ way.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the true-me was actually only existent whenever I would access such overwhelming experiences that are even called ‘sublimation,’ as in almost having a spiritual revelation – not realizing that this was all me talking myself into the energetic experience as ‘my expression’ wherein the physical reality of myself was not really taken into consideration at all, hence

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberate direct myself to participate in activities that I defined as ‘real’ and ‘true’ such as art creation due to the emotional experiences I was able to experience through me talking myself into such experiences that would stem from a point of fear and then transformed into some constant depression, woe and dread about life that I came to embody as a constant self experience for quite some time.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to enjoy experiencing this ‘sublime experience’ that is actually a lot of fear that I turned into a fascination as the ability for the mind to actually benefit from me participating in such ‘sublime experience’ and recreating it through painting, hearing music or writing about all things miserable such as destruction, decay, death, end of the world, my own ‘sad and lonely’ self experience, which became my own Doom as a constant mood that I believed was ‘my nature,’ without realizing that I was limiting myself to a single energetic experience defined as negative and that was it, I didn’t investigate it further but simply accepted and allowed myself to cultivate it instead from the starting point of believing that Feeling and becoming emotional were ‘vital signs’ of being a human being and a more ‘humane’ one.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to have an overwhelming energetic experience through listening to music and/or painting, taking pictures/ video wherein this personality that rejoices in all things ‘gloomy’ and somber and destructive is simply me existing in an actual fear toward those points and turning the fear into an enjoyable experience in order to be able to have a form of ‘control’ upon it apparently, without realizing I have never in fact been in control but only develop ways to be able to confront it without a sense of ‘lack of control,’ which is how I became ‘comfortable’ as an experience to things that would normally be seen as disturbing to talk about such as death and destruction, and self-destructive emotional experiences.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually neglect the fact that I did fear the end of the world, but because of such fear being so prominent, I turned it into a fascination and into my personal recurrent theme/topic so that I could confront it within a ‘controlled’ sense of enjoyment toward it, just so that I could feel ‘alright’ when talking about it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make of death and destruction a usual ‘fascination’ for me to talk about due to how my father was supportive of these thoughts about the occult, mysteries and prophecies which pissed off my mother pretty much, lol, and as such, making of death and disturbing thoughts and experiences my fascination just so that I could create a point of friction and conflict within her every time I would bring them up in discussions and get a positive experience/ kick out of it, of being able to generate a fear within another from them fearing ‘the end of the world’ or ‘prophecies’ or ‘aliens’ or ‘crazy people’ for that matter, wherein I seconded my father to step on my mother’s nerves for the sake of joking around.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a ‘positive experience’ out of something that would usually be feared just to generate – again – this sense of specialness for me desiring and wanting the world to end while everyone else seemed to fear it and even dislike talking about it, within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make of ‘the end of the world’ my personal fascination just because of how it would seem as an avoided and disturbing topic for others, which is how I also sought to make myself ‘important’ and ‘unique,’ because of believing that it was then some type of powerful statement to shock people in any way because through them reacting to what I did, I would reinforce my beliefs of being on the right track in relation to me having ‘something to say’ through art, even if back then it was only death and destruction without any further understanding or comprehension of how we were all collectively creating it, regardless of creating an experience about it or not.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘enjoy’ strident music as perpetual piercing sounds just because of how disturbing and ‘bizarre’ they were, wherein the more specific and unique my tastes were, the more ‘special’ I would be in my mind in relation to the general likes of people, which stems from my desire to ‘not be ordinary’/ be special/ be authentic or relate to the least ‘common people,’ that could also be within the same mind frame of looking at ‘others’ as strangers and normal/ ordinary as a lesser definition and instead, wanting to be singled-out from the crowds due to these fascinations, likes, preferences and self experience of enjoyment toward the seemingly dark and negative just to get a positive reinforcement to my personality as ‘a rebel’ or antagonist in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an immediate empathy to anyone that dares to present themselves as that point of challenge toward what’s socially acceptable and desirable, simply because of the amount of shock and disturbance that this can create within other human beings, and as such, making of this ability to create any form of shock my personal satisfaction of being effective in ‘what I do,’ wherein I believed that my expression had to cause an experience within another and that such reaction would mean my self-experience was genuine, within the belief that emotions and feelings was the ‘truth of ourselves’ as our mind.

 

This happens very often, lol in fact I just read something that was rather sarcastic and laughed about it and then realized that I would have wanted to ‘defend’ the person for saying something that was ‘not supposed’ to be said/written within a certain context, so this is how I came to support people that would go ‘against the tide’ just because of the shock value they represented within other being’s lives and reality, in essence creating empathy toward those that would play out the same mechanism I supported within myself.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to come to enjoy this absolute overwhelming energetic experience as goosebumps whenever I would be painting and listening to music that I’ve defined as ‘end of the world music,’ be overwhelmed by the absolute noise and encompassing sounds while Thinking about ‘the end of the world’ as an absolute destruction, which I now see and understand was my ‘little heaven’ of self experience just because of having the background of people around me mostly not liking to talk about death, destruction and the end of the world, thus creating my own mindfuck as personal fascination stemming from doing something ‘non-conventional’ such as rejoicing in thoughts of death and destruction.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I desired the world to end, not realizing that in any form of desire there’s a fear and that in my mind I created a fascination toward everything that I actually feared: I feared facing everything that I would paint within the ‘end of the world’ scenario and as such, I would paint that which I wasn’t willing to admit I feared, turning it instead into a positive creative self experience.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a likeness toward the music that I would also experience as a general fear due to how overwhelming the sounds were, mostly of prolonged intense acute frequency and strident sounds wherein I can say it definitely works at a mind level to produce this disturbance within my being that would be experienced as chills/ goosebumps and linking that to a pleasant experience within me, without realizing it wasn’t really that I liked it, but made myself believe that  I did.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience in my mind out of an actual negative physical energetic effect on my body, wherein I would turn it into a fascination and enjoyment while in reality the body was actually being consumed in order for me to have my exciting experiences of death and destruction related topics.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of pain a pleasurable experience wherein the thought of death and destruction would cause a nice/ positive experience at a mind level, as something that I thought I liked but in fact it was actually absolute fear that I was experiencing and a such I never in fact was supporting myself within any energetic experience that I believed I liked. I see, realize and understand that All energetic experiences are detrimental to the physical body and that participating in this energetic experience to even then believe that I actually wanted the world to end, without realizing that it was the idea of the world ending which I attached to an overwhelming exciting experience, but I wasn’t really wanting the world to end nor was I in fact measuring in any way the consequences that such event would entail for all living beings. Thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of everything and everyone just disappearing/ being obliterated by some supernatural force that I wanted to experience and participate in, just because of how I realized the extensive overwhelming experience it would be, wherein ‘overwhelming’ is linked to seeing red skies  – which I have also created a fascination toward – as the usual depiction of a perfect end of the world scenario, without realizing that this became a general ‘kick’ for my mind to rejoice within this pleasant experience that was in fact fear due to me thinking about ‘the end of the world’ when looking at red skies.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that my body was enjoying the music and responding with such absolute ecstatic experience of feeling goosebumps and quivering, without realizing that it was in fact the energetic compound of all the thinking processes that would lead me to experience fear about this absolute destruction that I would either paint or enjoy looking at in pictures as the usual cloudy red skies and some form of civilization destruction.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire to continue experiencing this overwhelming experience in a constant basis simply because of believing that such goosebumps were a sign of me enjoying/ identifying with the music somehow, not realizing it was simply me having linked this to an actual fear that turned into a fascination as in me actually being overwhelmed by the sounds and thinking that I was enjoying this in fact

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that it was okay to be attracted to that which was mostly sad and gloomy as self-experience, just because it becomes as addictive as happiness and positivity – I realize that I simply played out the opposite pole due to how I designed myself to become the exact opposite of what was ‘agreeable’ and ‘acceptable’ in my reality, within this becoming just the pillar that creates conflict and friction in order to generate more energy only to satisfy myself as my own mind.

 

I realize that these ‘sublime’ experiences have become aesthetic categories just because of us having accepted and allowed our emotions and feelings as humans beings as ‘who we are’ and some form of ‘human nature,’ without ever having actually investigated How such energetic experiences were formed, how are they produced and created within our physical body and the actual effects and consequences it creates from participating in such experiences throughout our life experiences.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe  me to be special for ‘feeling the music’ so much that I would get these goosebumps as physical reaction of the energetic experience, without realizing that it was so due to all the thinking, the images and general fear that I actually created toward such strident sounds that reverberated throughout my being and accepted this as a form of ecstatic self-experience, without questioning what I was in fact doing to my body every time that these experiences are generated.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my own physical body every time that I would allow myself to experience these chills as ‘thrills’ and as a form of self enjoyment, without ever really investigating or becoming aware of the nature of the experience, wherein sometimes even my stomach would hurt due to the extensive participation in ‘keeping the wave on’ as in keeping myself ‘riding the experience’  just for the sake of my own ‘pleasure’ that I never really experienced as the actual pain it is.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not identify how I would get the same overwhelming experience every time I would go into absolute fear such as fear of someone trespassing the house, or being mugged, or being walking alone at night on the street – these would all cause similar experiences within myself that I never questioned, but simply allowed them to be and exist without making the necessary links to see how the so-called pleasure was actually fear as well, experienced in a very similar manner to my so called ‘ecstatic’ experience that I defined as positive.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become this energetic experience simply because of me having defined it as ‘positive’ and ‘enjoyable’ as anything that I would look at, listen to or read that would cause an actual ‘fear’ as an overwhelming experience, but instead of investigating it further, I simply accepted it as ‘who I am’ and me having some form of empathy/resonance for the sounds/ music, the visuals or the words that would create these images within me of actual horror/ terror/ fear in an ‘acceptable manner,’ since I never took it to the ‘next level,’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe there was such a thing as genuine empathic experience toward others that would exist within a similar ‘energetic experience’ as myself and within that, creating relationships with people that would support this self-experience as a form of ‘special bond’ that was ‘difficult to find’ and as such, level it up to a form of specialness and uniqueness in relationships.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘make it okay’ to rejoice in what I deemed were positive experiences that were ‘innocent’ because I was the only one experiencing such chills and thrills in my physical body, without realizing that these thoughts and logic is only me as the mind realizing what I have done onto the physical and that I never in fact was aware of my physical body, otherwise I would have been aware of the actual detrimental experiences that the body goes through when participating in any form of energetic experience either positive or negative – same consequence.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that it was okay for me to experience sadness and enjoy it, because I thought I was special and unique to only experience sadness as a form of enjoyment, without realizing that in all cases, any energetic experience is equal from the perspective that it is me as a the mind generating friction and conflict to extract energy from the physical in order to continue existing as an energetic system, without realizing that there is no point for such system to exist within me and that I can be here, breathe and remain constant and consistent as myself as the physical, and that living/being alive does not require these ‘overwhelming experiences’ that I would be a sucker for in the form of listening to music all the time, thinking constantly about all the bad things in the world and rejoice in what I deemed was something ‘twisted’ and ‘socially incorrect,’ because I learned that I could only rejoice in that which is positive/ beneficial for self, never really understanding that any energetic experience no matter how we  assess it/define it within our consciousness mind-frame as either positive or negative, it is always a relationship of friction and conflict to generate and create more energy that is extracted from the physicality that I am in order to continue the existence of the mind through/ as more friction and conflict.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to train and condition my physical body to accept these energetic experiences of fear and overwhelming thoughts of death and destruction as an actual enjoyment or ‘aliveness’ whenever I would create a quivering in my body that I believed was a sign of me being ‘more alive’ or more ‘genuine’ than other beings, and that such experiences were an indication of me being ‘more’ than others, a point of specialness which became as a personal cultivation of such experiences for my personal enjoyment.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to condition my physical to such a reaction of the mind as ‘enjoyment,’ instead of actually approaching points of expression like painting and music from a physical starting point of self expression.

 

I realize that the only way to ‘change’ this point of self-experience as the sublime, the disturbing and mostly feared is simply by stopping fearing it myself and next, is working on breathing the energetic experiences as they emerge in this automated way, which I take responsibility for because of the amount of time and energy I spent on accepting such energetic experiences as ‘normal,’ and as such, commit myself to be aware of whenever I am approaching something/ someone from the starting point of wanting to get a kick out of re-enacting my fascinations and self-experiences of fear turned into a pleasurable experience.

 

I commit myself to equalize myself to any form of expression ,wherein I ensure that I am always here, breathing – and that no matter what I do, I place my focus and attention on the physical reality of what I am doing and also realizing that not getting any energetic experience while listening to music or painting does not make the moment less as in not being genuine, as I realize that any form of energetic movement while doing something is indicating me a point of separation within the mind in accordance to how I have participated in my reality through the mind instead of the physical.

 

I commit myself to base my self expression on being here as breath while painting, listening to music, watching nature and as such realize that every time I create either a positive or negative experience out of anything I do in the physical, it is the mind and it’s not real self-expression and must be taken self responsibility for, as I understand how it is within these seeking of ‘thrills’ at a mind level that we become addicts for this that is later on sought through drugs, sex, money or anything else that is able to provide enough resources to generate a ‘moreness’ or ‘specialness’ within us as energetic-experiences, which is unacceptable as these are the bricks of self-abuse that we all have participated in within ourselves as the mind, having real effects and detrimental consequences for the whole in this world – not only humans, but every single particle abused in the name of our personal fascinations.

 

More to come.

 

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