Category Archives: fear label

629. What I’ve learned about Self-Punishment

 

The previous blog I wrote about Self-Devaluation and The Body contained one aspect that I’d like to focus on in this blog, because I merely mentioned them summarily as self-aggression and how I called it self-flagellation. This is about in fact the concept of self-punishment and what one can ‘gain’ from it – yes, as ‘weird’ as it may sound initially.

Part of the Unlocking yourself process that I described in my previous blog is to open up to consider other people’s views, perspectives and ways of approaching a situation, which can be very enlightening and it’s been the case when taking on this subject to our group chats at Destonians.com. Last Wednesday, we discussed “What do we stand to gain from self punishment?” and it was eye opening to get to know the many ways that people can understand and see this point of self-punishment and how it is lived, why it is lived and the constructs or beliefs behind it that lead us to do such a thing to ourselves. 

I bring through something that Leila shared which was “it’s like we rule through punishment/sin instead of compassion/forgiveness” and that’s part of the points for me to take on and integrate as a realization, because upon judging myself, the idea is that I have to feel bad, feel tense, feel anxious, feel ‘within an upheaval’ about it, IS already a form of punishment as well. We’ve allowed ourselves to be wired in a way where we fixated more on the problems rather than focusing on the solutions. Self Forgiveness is the way to Understand the situation that we participated in, take responsibility in it and lay out the foundation to change, to live the correction and solutions.

But! Even if I thought I was doing this, the reality of my situation has proven me that one aspect of morality kept me blind from realizing that I wasn’t in fact self-forgiving and letting go for real, and that prevented me from Living forgiveness, which is living the ways in which I see is best for me in my current experience and life decisions – not hooking on fears of the past of what I did or didn’t do.  Therefore compassion I can redefine as being understanding of the situation, not being hard on myself, being able to also stand in the shoes of whoever is involved and not feel ‘bad’ about it because feeling ‘bad’ doesn’t sort anything out either, while also realizing that I can only focus on changing me and being the best that I can for me and those currently around me.

She also expressed there: “and punishment can be taken quite ‘broad’ — any type of tension or discomfort you create, why  do we punish ourselves with anxiety, what do you stand to gain from it? what do you fear more than anxiety that you wouldn’t give up your anxiety? do we fear freedom?”  And that is in fact THE point that I had to realize which is eye opening and a point of self-honesty: it isn’t nice or beautiful because it does create an awareness of ‘WTF why have I done this to myself? And the reality is that ultimately, in my case the whole reason why I reacted in this form of self-punishment is because of a belief that feeling bad and sorry would make ME seem like a ‘better person,’ someone that ‘cares’ because of how I have defined ‘care’ as ‘worry’ – when it should definitely Not be that of course – and as if I could ‘clear my sins’ through punishment; I could see the traces of religious constructs there as I explained in the chat too.

But beyond that, the ultimate point is exactly about our freedom, our actual ability to be self-directive, to take one’s authority to create, to have a blank slate of creation, instead of focusing on ‘the past’ and ‘what is there to Fix-Ate on’ or ‘feel bad about.’

This is ultimately one the big habits I’ve seen within me and that I have observed in others related to me genetically. It is as if ‘something had to be happening all the time’, something that is wrong, or something to ‘feel bad about’ and if one realizes that one is creating that, then it’s as if everything can suddenly be stopped.  The canvas of self-creation is unveiled and emerges for us to walk on. And because we actually don’t decide to act to live words, to focus on self-creation, we– by habit, by patterns and by ingrained acceptance and allowance –  bit by bit, step by step, allowance by allowance, just ‘roll back’ to the commonly ‘accepted forms’ of existing, which are mostly related to being in perpetual forms of emotional or feeling experiences, fear for the most part being ‘the mother of all other reactions’ like anxiety, sadness, depression, anger, guilt, shame, remorse… you name it. It is an energetic experience that as BAD as it can get within our bodies and the effects it creates within it, we keep blindly participating in it, creating any other form of story to give ourselves an excuse to almost ‘keep ourselves busy with’ trying to kind of remake a puzzle that is already framed and hanging on the wall, it is that useless to keep living in fear related to past issues – but not limited to the past for sure.

The story that I told myself to justify living in such self-punishment is ‘having to pay for something I did’ and so, having to suffer in a way to ‘demonstrate’ that I cared or that I wasn’t too ‘cold blooded’ about things. Lol when in fact I could have lived it in a more sensible manner by genuinely introspecting and forgiving myself for it and embracing my ‘mistakes’ and move on with my life.  I created what I am experiencing at a physical level, and embracing that realization is a rather ‘uncomfortable truth’ that I had to process for a couple of days until I realized that reacting in sadness about it or anger towards myself is yet another way to keep ‘burying me alive’ so to speak, because any other distress or fear or judgment causes further oppression, tension and damage to my body, to OUR bodies.

The best way is to simply acknowledge it, almost like nodding to it and taking it in humbly to really realize that: I truly now have to let go, stop punishing myself, stop causing all of this dis-ease within me, this discomfort and ultimately this habit/addiction of worry and preoccupation to focus on my self-creation.  So far been applying this since I got ‘hands on’ for it these past couple of weeks and it’s been going good.

That question Leila posed ‘do we fear freedom?’ is a very, very relevant one because I’ve seen time and time again within me and others how it’s seemingly ‘easier’ to keep focusing on feeling bad, feeling emotional about things and believing one can’t ‘sort it out’ unless we are ‘given the green light’ by something or someone out there and because that won’t ever happen, it’s as if we just keep waiting for ourselves to truly let the ‘punishment’ go and lift up our own veils – which we have placed upon ourselves – and walk out in freedom.

There are some lyrics that I’ve been appreciating lately in Mexican music, and one song says “we are like prisoners and we think like prisoners’ and it talks about how we are ‘pulled by forces’ that seem to take us ‘wherever they go’ and have no self-direction. It is in fact the prisoner mentality that I was in, and it is through understanding how I came to create this, how I decided to ‘label’ my actions and how I decided to react to them – based on these constructs of morality and what seemed like reasonable to do ‘at the eyes of others’ – defined my experience in relation to this situation.

What happens once that one is done sorting through the repetitive ‘inner conflict’ about any point or experience – no matter how big or how subtle it may be – is that what is left is an open path to genuinely Live and be in all authority for self-creation.  The reality that I see is prevalent within us human beings is that, it’s ‘seems’ easier for us all to talk about the problems that are happening in the world, in how this or that politician is a corrupt or not or how things seem to be just ‘going nowhere’ but have no proposal to be participating in changing the tides that we’ve been ‘imprisoning’ ourselves into for far too long. It is a form of self-punishment as well because it recreates the problems, it just spreads the sense of despair as if nothing could be done about it. What I do then is to focus back on what needs to be looked at which is self-education, the values, the principles, the common sense as what’s best for all that is needed to be understood and lived and so, the need for parents to have these principles to educate their children too.

I would certainly want more people to become aware of this. I’ve been going to certain therapy and I can hear people around me constantly worrying about this or that pain. I have a genuinely good example in my life of what it is to be healthy in a very round sense of the word by NOT participating in any form of energy-trips related to any form of reaction, basically not participating in fear. My partner is that person and through my interactions with him my ‘habitual’ antsy patterns fueled by all kinds of seemingly ‘usual’ fears – no matter how ‘subtle’ or big they are – have been exposed to the nth degree. I can even say that my whole ‘self-punishment’ deal is a way for me to have that as a ‘constant point to be dealing with’ as an excuse to not deal with the very real and very present opportunities I have to break through those – yes – very ingrained habits (read addiction) that I had defined as ‘normal’. It has been through his constant feedback that I realized how much I can be in fact TENSE and fearing and worrying.

This is another aspect that pertains to my personality. I can be a very ‘intense’ person. This has its pros and cons. I can be a very intense person in a ‘good’ way so to speak wherein I can be very passionate and diligent and walk firm decisions in what I do and how I live it. But I can also be very Intense as in literally being IN-Tension about just anything that I may accept and allow myself to be worrying about or preoccupying myself with. This is precisely where the kind of person I am is basically also formed through the ‘learned ways’ I adopted from people around me. This has to do with being commonly worried, being rather dramatic about things, and it’s funny because I often would get annoyed and irritated by what I perceived as ‘dramatic people’ but, I’ve been seeing how I am precisely that. And this whole pattern of self punishment is a consequence of taking things TOO intensely. My partner helps me out to become aware of this by joking about it lol I then laugh and realize what I’m doing. But as I’ve said so before, I can’t go through life depending on him letting me know what I’m fixating on as a worry point.

I was talking with my cousin yesterday and we talked about driving cars. I have no intent to drive because I was involved in a car crash and even if I was not the driver, I took that as an excuse to create fear. I still again feel the fear as I write this and the same goes with bicycles and relating it back to an accident I had 10 years ago. These fears ‘gnaw’ me because I am over vigilant when being in a car or even when seeing people driving bikes on car lanes. I must admit that thoughts of the car crashes come up when I’m riding with someone in a car and even more so go into a rather intense reaction whenever we may come to any ‘close’ point to crashing. I get agitated and I Know I can change it and it IS a matter of perception and deciding to no longer exist in fear about something that happened some time ago already.

Something that I’ve been telling myself in those moments when being in a car – not driving – is one of the principles that my partner lives by. I tested it out the other day to see if it assisted me to deal with these fears while being in a car and that is ‘always expecting the best of everything and everyone.’ What comes to mind is…. Well that’s disingenuous, we KNOW people are not all good, we know there’s evil, we know shit can happen!! Etc. but even in that response, there I already ‘revamped’ all the sources of fear that can mainly exist in any given moment in one’s daily life, regardless of even defining certain activities as ‘dangerous’ or potentially harmful. The other day while driving in the back of a car and noticing the driver was speeding a bit, I noticed the fears coming up again and this time I breathed and reminded myself: expect the best of the situation. And that was supportive but I do honestly need to work more on grounding myself to reality in those moments and learning to not participate in the ‘what if’ fears.

I realize that I can’t also be externalizing these fears every single time I am driving with someone in a car, because that’s not really the point as I then implant the fear and idea in the other person that’s driving. This is about me practically letting go of ‘worst case scenarios’ which have become a way to ‘spike’ my mind into a reaction in any given situation. And yes this is not only when it comes to cars, but also when crossing streets and dealing with any form of traffic. Can I continue living that way? No.

Even in walking I am extra cautious, extra vigilant and perhaps there’s tension accumulating because the background to that hyper-vigilance is fear of cars as well.

So as I was saying, my cousin said with a big smile ‘well you just have to stop fearing driving a car and that’s it!’ like taking it very lightly. The back of my mind could have reacted like ‘oh it’s so easy to say it!’ because that would be a way to revamp all the reasons and justifications of ‘why I should remain in fear of cars and driving’ and that would mean being free to actually perhaps take the steps to be ‘free from fear.’ The simplicity with which she took the whole thing amazed me, the solution seemed simple and it really is! The ‘hook’ that keeps me ‘hooked on fear’ is made out of reasons, excuses and justifications of why I should remain in fear, and that’s in fact a point of self-limitation that I’m holding on to, no matter how ‘bad’ or ‘credible’ my inner-stories are: IF they are causing any form of tension, discomfort, fear or even anxiety as it’s been happening around that topic, Then I have to let go of it. It is as simple as that, and yes it may be challenging due to how I have also been ‘justifying’ these fears in terms of how there are some reckless people driving on the streets, or how ‘badly’ some people may drive, on how everyone speeds, on how many people die in car crashes and yes, I could spiral myself out of control and really bury myself with all kinds of fears around driving or being in a car… but that’s not the way to exist.

I even realized that one of my last videos on YouTube was about walking through that fear of driving and even if I was getting to enjoy the driving in the lessons, then the crash came and I crawled back into my shell of fearing driving or cars in general and I feel somewhat stuck in a rut about it, because I haven’t been able to transcend that fear. Huge limitation, yes. Do I have the willingness to sort it out? There are other factors around that. Perhaps if the car was available, I would, but it’s not, so for now I leave it at the point of focusing on precisely letting go of punishing myself with the ‘bad memories’ around cars and walk through it. I get somewhat jealous of people that have been involved in crashes were they have been injured, perhaps even badly, yet, they keep at it. What do ‘they’ have that I don’t have? The decision to live without fear.

Now, someone else commented in that group chat about living without any fear… and that’s something that sounds to me like a constant ‘battle’ against fear as if ‘fear itself’ was the problem. To me it’s not so. Fears can also be a real indication of aspects that we have to take into consideration, to have basic common sense in how we act or do certain actions, that’s basically precaution. For example the Mexicans that got killed on Friday by a gas pipeline explosion were possibly ‘fearless’ in stealing fuel because of how ‘habitual’ it had become to them to the point where possibly one of them decided to ‘lit up a ciggy’ in the meantime and forgetting about the hazardous task they were involved in. Point is: not about living ‘without fear’ but definitely learning HOW to live in the way that one can handle things the best possible way, handling the results or consequences if things go awry, learn from the mistakes and genuinely live the saying ‘life goes on!’ and move on.

These fears that I’ve mentioned here and in the past blogs have been crippling me to say the least, not only mentally but physically. The point is that they didn’t seem ‘that bad’ but have been quite present in a constant basis and that’s how the cup got filled drop by drop so to speak. Something that I want to change is precisely being the paranoid person that I see I have become. And yes I can see how this may come as learned habits even from both of my parents, and I’m witnessing how it has affected their physical body as well to live like that…. And I also have a living example  as my partner of what it is to live without this paranoid-type of fear, and to see that it is possible, and to see how a body can exist in a rather good stability when a person decides to live without fears and taking risks and finding that whatever outcome it may bring, it is part of what life is about.

Going through life with fear is yes, the most basic form of self-punishment I can identify, because we do it to ourselves. I early on in this blog wrote about all of us practicing cannibalism, all of us humans, because we consume our physical body every single time that we think in a reactive or emotional – or feeling – way.  This is the most essential form of self-punishment, self-flagellation, self-inflicted harm or ‘eating yourself up’ in a rather literal way. I became aware of this through the education I’ve gotten through Eqafe.com and it’s about time that I tackle this very ‘primal’ way of existing which is that of fear and paranoia in the seemingly most ‘subtle’ yet ever present manners.

Letting go of this fear-habit is perhaps an addiction that I had yet to pin point and decide to work on, because of all the reasons, ideas and excuses I had allowed within me to ‘hold on’ to such fears, as if the fear, the emotional reactions or the paranoia could fix or prevent anything in reality, or ‘handle’ the situation better. They do NOT, Ever.

This leads me to look at another topic I wanted to write about which is precisely how I got to identify my ‘personality’ as Intense and how some people seem to be more naturally ‘chilled’ or stable- but not in a suppressed chilled manner where the discomfort at times simply ‘resonates’ or ‘oozes out’ from someone that ‘seems to be’ o ‘appears’ to be quite cool, calm and collected – but may be in fact be a way to suppress or hide insecurities, fears or any other reaction. I’m talking about the chillness that I’ve seen in a few people I’ve met throughout my life that portray a seemingly ‘impossible’ way of being for me. As they come through my mind and I see them and their attitudes, they live words like patience, calm, equanimity, taking it easy, being quite grounded and present, being relaxed and having a general presence of chillness about whatever they have to face or confront. One of them is my uncle who had a very serious car crash a few years ago… they both could have died and their car was full loss, but they were simply happy to be alive and of course he keeps driving and is one of the people that I believe goes through life ‘letting it go by’ so to speak… not carelessly but simply going with the flow if ‘shit happens’ so to speak, always focusing on ‘well we are alive and that’s what matters’ when seemingly bad things happen to him and his family. Whereas I projected myself being in that and kind of car crash and how I would react and use that as a way to justify some form of chronic anxiety or petrification around cars… well that would be the end of me certainly. And this is also not something I could think of doing consciously, but I have lived this very thing in a more subtle way based on what I shared above.

So, I have the living examples of people that have been through ‘worse situations’ than mine and have no fear to go back to driving or riding cars. I have the example of my father saying ‘I don’t’ regret anything’ as he goes through some of the stories of what he’s lived through in his life and at times, the ‘big mistakes’ he made that took him real money and time to recover from. He learned, he got stronger from them, he doesn’t hold the situation or other people involved in it ‘at fault’ or ‘in blame.’

These are all decision to live that I take a living lesson from. There’s also my partner whom I am quite grateful for because he’s put up with this ‘opening’ of this admittance of fears and self-created emotional reactions in me that are here for me to face and it’s for the best, because the moment is ‘ripe’ to see this through, even if facing some physical consequences, this can be a learning point for me to also then remind myself of how much I burden myself, my physical body, with all the literally useless indulgence in my mind as fears and reactions and what ifs and projections and worries and….. All that trash needs to be taken out.

I mostly decide to approach this as a quitting of a habit, an addiction. I’ve seen how ‘addicted to conflict’  as human beings we are, well perhaps many of us, and I even shared other examples of how we are addicted to sharing and giving likes to people presenting conflicts, we almost ‘rejoice’ in some kind of bad news or conflict going on between people, or pointing out the faults in others… but how much attention does a post or process of self-creation, self-support gets? Not many, but the tides are changing and I root for that change in how we support each other’s process of self-change as well.

It’s about letting go of the habit, the addiction to fear, to drama, to anxiety, to have something to constantly be ‘worrying’ about or ‘fearing’ or future-projecting about. I truly want to commit myself to be a different person with the person that I am relating the most currently which is my partner, so that I can stop repeating myself about all of these ‘subtle fears’ and worries that I bring up in our conversations. So I take it on to remind myself of expecting the best, which is not in a way thinking positively or being disingenuous about the reality of things, but as a way to focus on what normally unfolds in a rather predictable and stable way, and how even if things come up that are unexpected or not the way we planned or simply go wrong, I can also learn to go with the flow of it and take the best route to walk it, perhaps sorting it out, perhaps facing with continued consequences, it will all depend on the context.

 Another nice ‘principle’ that my partner holds as part of his ‘pillars’ to exits is ‘everything will be fine at the end, and if it is not, then one knows it’s not the very end yet.’ I take this in a very existential way though, in a way realizing that things may continue ‘flying up’ around us, things falling apart, cans of worms being opened up everywhere, going through distress, drastic changes in our lives within and without. I see it as part of our process in order for the new to emerge, for which the old must go and we are witnessing that at a global scale in many ways, some seem quite drastic and alarming, some others not as much but equally significant and equally part of the same process of existential change.  This is again WHY I emphasize on the importance of getting to understand the ins and outs of self-creation and existential creation, so that one can have a grasp of ‘how things really’ work and learn to trust ourselves as life by Living as Life as what’s best for all no matter ‘what.’ This is the only genuine way to go through whatever things we may experience in our lives and so, instead of reacting in all kinds of self-punishy ways like fear, anxiety, worry, anger, blame etc.… to best practice understanding and cooperating with being and becoming that which we CAN in fact direct and be the authority of, which is ourselves, to be and do what is best in the situation for us and for everyone involved.

For all of this, there’s Eqafe.com to explain it all and I must now honor that source of education and information and live what I’ve learned from there to no longer allow myself to fall prey to my own ‘reasons and justifications’ to exist in any form of self-inflicted harm, abuse, punishment or tension. I now redefine living intensity as the force that I know is within me as the life that I am – and that has been ‘on the waiting’ – to grow out, to be liberated from the self-created yoke of the fears and justifications, to live that passion to apply myself in these very ‘basic’ aspects such as not allowing myself to participate in these kinds of paranoid fears and worst-case scenario situations that come up in my day to day and trusting in myself as life to recover and get well from the consequences I’ve created now that I have realized and seen firsthand the effects of participating in, essentially – and excuse me for my words – my own self-created mind fuck. Let’s call things for what they are!

I thank everyone that participated in that chat and Leila for providing her insights that reminded me of all of these things that I was ‘aware’ of at a knowledge level – through the self-support and educational material at Eqafe.com – but ‘conveniently’ forgot about. Now it IS time to step into self-creation and that’s where the white canvas is and where my focus and attention will be on deciding to live in an equanimous way – yes that is quite the challenge for me as I write it, but challenge taken! – to live my intensity in a balanced way, to yes be intense in expression for self-creation, for all things that are beneficial for me – but no longer take things ‘too heavy on the heart’ as they say. To not take things SO damn seriously all the time – yes things and life are a serious matter BUT I tend to definitely be ‘too intense’ in the seriousness where it becomes a source of affliction and that has to be changed because CARING is not the same as WORRYING about things.

Genuine care is then to support myself first to breathe and slow down whenever I am experiencing any form of ‘spike’ in my heart beat and feel the pulse elevating because of one single thought that crossed my mind. I then live the commitment to be diligent about not leaving these thoughts ‘go by’ but take them on, self-forgive them because I realize they are the result and consequence of having entertained too many ‘righteous’ constructs of why I should be fearful about this or that – and remind myself that fear can’t ever be supportive when it comes to creating anxiety or any other emotion within me. Then, I rather live precaution instead of fear, for that is a reasonable way to consider reality and its potential outcomes, while also being aware that I am not able to ‘prevent’ life unfolding and all the various factors in it, but I am able to face any outcome the best way that I can, trusting myself in being able to act the best way that I can, and that means not portraying a face of strength and composure as if nothing happened all the time, but simply being able to trust myself in facing the momentary expressions of fear or any form of tension and trust myself in being able to take me back to my ‘zero point’ where I’m stable and nothing is moving within me.

I can also commit myself to practice being generally more chilled, realizing that I can’t even think of being the ‘savior’ of anyone nor prevent anyone from being harmed. Even if I cause that harm, I can always admit it to myself, see how I can do things differently from here on and move on with life. But I can’t keep holding myself captive for the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what was’ anymore.

Here I can also remind myself of the principle of shared responsibility so that I know that there are a bunch of factors that lead to the creation of a certain thing or situation not working out or going off or being destroyed. There is more than meets the eye and this is not in an ‘esoteric’ sense of the saying, but simply as a way to not get ‘hooked’ on certain moment and events that I keep ‘seeing through’ the eyes of my mind.

This implies also to change how I see or perceive situations, how I take in actions and information, how I have to also let go of assumption as in knowing exactly ‘how things are’ because I most likely cannot know. I can know about my experience, and yes I am even that ‘out of myself’ that I cannot exactly yet know what goes on with my body, so this is also part of the things that I want to now not be negligent about but be considered and attentive of, which is my physical body, to learn to be more aware of its pains and discomforts and not let them ‘go by’ ignoring them, but taking them as a cross reference of who I am in my mind and so, what I need to work on.

The decision then is to not remain a prisoner of my own repetitive thoughts and experiences, of what I did or didn’t do in the past. That’s only another comfort zone to not dare to change, live and express and I am definitely ready and willing to live and express, I just ‘thought’ that I had to still feel bad and drag my past corpses around as unwanted souvenirs lol.

Even daring to ‘be well’ and feel OK, and appear generally in a good stance within oneself seems at times ‘too good to be true’ or ‘how dare I!?’ but it is then also a point about allowing oneself to be OK and to genuinely Be Life and stop living in constant self-torture. I noticed this yesterday at a social gathering, some people that had not seen me in a long time said I looked really well like ‘radiant’… I said ‘oh well it’s supplements I started taking I guess!’ but the moment wasn’t intimate enough to say ‘you know what yes I’ve been practicing stopping existing in all of this self-blame and self-flagellation for the world and things in my life not going ‘the best way’ or how I thought they could.’ But, for those that did engage with me in conversations, I was able to share some of what I do and how I approach things and that is great too, because then they may get ideas of how to work through some of their own problems, confusions or worries.

The best way that I can advertise this process is with my own process, with my own way of living. And honoring the information and message that I’ve been privy to for the past 11 years J

So, cheers to this and to facing the current reality of the world and situations around us in a way that we can be sure, we are not going into panic, fear or anxiety, but cover our bases and act according to what seems most reasonable and best for all to do.

Thanks for reading and thanks to everyone that knowingly – or unknowingly – has supported me to walk through these aspects of myself.

 

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393. To Live Courage in the At-Most-Fear

 

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If there’s one thing required to walk this process of self-honesty is courage, is having the guts to be able to live a different starting point that we have been taught-into throughout our entire existence, which is  to live in fear, to not take risks, to ‘play safe’ in the game, to follow the rules, to avoid any form of punishment and as such never really challenge the status quo.

I remember that I would have to ‘pull up my socks’ so to speak when it came to being able to be frank and direct to see my own hidden agendas, the reasons why I chose to be and become a particular personality, why I would like and dislike things, why I would dress in a particular way, why I would stash so much knowledge on certain fields and not others, how I wanted to be seen and validated by others according to the great lie I could construct and build up as part of a general process that we even encourage in our society, which is that of ego-creation/personalities in order to satisfy an idea of oneself being valuable in the world-market where everything we do and say can be sold and bought as part of the merchandise that we produce every single day in a world, where life is not really lived, but bought and sold too.

So the moment that one starts challenging the whole starting point of ‘who I am’ from the achievement of personal glory and fame or ultimate recognition by ‘others’ and so be apparently ‘powerful’ in society, one is faced with the challenge of having to actually do things for the sake of oneself – not for another, not for gaining a prize or a ‘good mark’, or a ‘good position’ for the sake of being above others – but because one actually decides to stop existing in such superior/inferior survival mode of fighting against each other and instead, one realize that one can in fact stop living in the constant competition and struggle to ‘get to the top’ by fearing not ‘getting to the top’ and so realize that these hierarchical structures have only been ideas, constructs in our minds that we’ve imprinted within us from the very first moments we begin comparing ourselves to others and begin quantifying and valuing things and people as more-than or less than ourselves.

It’s interesting that I hadn’t looked at the ability to stop living in such more-than/less-than mentality of survival and fear as something that requires courage, because it actually implies no longer being motivated by fear of having/not having or being more-than/ less-than something or someone while fueling the desire to be more than, which are general constructs that we usually keep our entire societies running with. In my case I saw the common sense of stopping that constant requirement to be ‘validated by others’ and/or expecting recognition, which actually implies having the courage to do things for myself in a world where we’re taught that we always have to focus on doing it for the sake of something and someone else only, to get a certain job/position in the system, to get more fame and recognition, to obtain a relationship, to be granted some form of tribute, to appear as ‘more than’ at all times, which in turn  we create the nature of the system where this constant ‘struggle’ is seen as “success” because we have never actually valued who we really are for what we are already, for what we are able to live and conduct as a matter of self-direction instead of having to ‘fit it’ into schemes of validation that don’t support life. We don’t value self-honesty yet as a principle to focus on developing as our new human nature, but instead we value the ability to cheat, deceive and ‘get ahead of others’ as intelligence or cunningness, which is entirely twisted and non-supportive as we can see. We have always measured everything against a flawed system of values that in no way correspond to promoting doing meaningful things to precisely change the status quo of fear and complacency that we have remained as throughout our human history.

By simply making the decision to challenge and slowly but surely change everything that we have ever thought ourselves to be, one requires a massive amount of courage because we’re essentially recognizing that we will go nowhere if we remain in our comfort-zone, in our ‘known ways’ that have perpetuated this culture of fear, apathy, complacency and an upside-down set of values that in no way support the discovery and living realization of who we really are as the potential of life. All we’ve ever done is fear, survive and ‘get through the days’ with the most we can – is that living? No, and certainly challenging this doesn’t mean ‘drop-out of the system’ or ‘fight against the powers that shouldn’t be’ but it is in fact to begin identifying How have I become my own limitation, how have I continued to ‘play the game’ that I know is not supportive for myself and others in this world, where we are able to participate and through our living-behavior become the practical example of living principles that are best for all. To stop fear, to stop fearing taking risk means to be able to step outside of the ‘known zone’ and be able to make a stand to no longer ‘follow’ but rather take the wheel and plan our lives  in a different way, so that while we are still living in an unpredictable situation when it comes to money, our own ability to remain alive the next day, we can be fully responsible and directive when it comes to establishing solutions day by day. And solutions cannot be created when we hold on to the fear of ‘who I would be’ or ‘what I would create’ as a future projection, but instead simply live it, test it out, try it out, taking the risks because we fear making decisions to change the aspects that we already know are detrimental to our lives and in that, we already abdicate our power to change things, without even trying first.

So this is to also remind myself that the moment that I hold myself back is actually a point of fear that I have to investigate, a point where I am still driving myself through the imprinted and memorized survival mode, the status quo, the ‘chains of the past’ that I have to open up and find out where it is that I am still attached to what I often complain as ‘the obstacle’ to move or do something, what am I holding onto, or what do I fear losing by doing it and in this realizing that I am the only one that can be such obstacle through ideas, beliefs and perceptions of what is holding me back, what isn’t allowing me to ‘do’ or ‘be’ something, wherein I have used something/someone as an excuse to limit my direction, my change, to develop myself to my utmost potential.

Here it is thus to utilize that little ‘spark’ of life that I have and to not allow myself to ‘overpower’ it with the ball and chain that I’ve created as things, people, institutions, systems that I’ve seen as ‘the problem’ and realize that no one is actually responsible for my limitation but myself, my own fear and that nothing can in fact limit me as long as I am capable of doing, learning, communicating, moving myself beyond my perceived boundaries and so realize that instead of perpetuating the limitation of what I perceive ‘society’ or ‘the system’ to be, I take the stand to realize it’s always been me, myself and so no more accept and allow myself to live As the limitation, as the limited aspect of myself, as the complacency and apathetic piece of mind that I’ve lived as, because I realize that if I allow myself to hinder my expression based on an idea, belief or perception I have of something or someone and how ‘it affects me’ I am not taking responsibility for what I realize I have to do which is to move, to take a stand, to live the courage to ‘swim against the current’ which doesn’t mean ‘fighting’, but certainly a self-motivated decision to walk through the sea of limitations I’ve built around a point I’ve defined as ‘difficult’ or ‘challenging’ to me –  I realize this will be the only way to actually step out of fears and discover the potential that I have buried with my self-limitations of who/what I believe I should be to perpetuate the ‘idea of myself’ in relation to others.

This is about myself, what I decide to live, to motivate me to do things for myself, to not do something to be valued or validated within the system, but to do it as part of me walking a point into completion and this is not limited to ‘tasks,’ but to everything that I decide to live and become, to live As the determination to get something done, to become the solution that I so many times have complained is so necessary in this world.

So, here’s to the commitment to live courage in the Earth’s At-Most-Fear and so transform my apathy and lack of perseverance into a self-determination, focus and consistency to do it for my self, to challenge myself, to not allow my preprogrammed-limitations to still define ‘who I am’ as I see that’s the biggest problem we face in the world right now: not wanting to challenge ourselves and our starting point of living.

And so, I commit myself to do that which I have defined as ‘limiting’ because in limiting myself form doing ‘such limitation’ I am fin act only perpetuating the limitation in itself based on fear of not fitting into those limitations – lol.

So this is the real revolution, the change we can implement and follow-through within ourselves – there’s no ‘government’ outside of ourselves but only the one we can implement as self-direction in what we think and do in consideration of what is best for myself and all equally.

 

I got a new pen - 2014

 

Suggested Interview:

Accessing your Full Potential (Part 2) – Reptilian Series – 178

 

Suggested Article:

Jack – The Courage to live Self-Honestly

To learn more on how to live Courage and Self-Honesty, visit:


347. How to Become the Change in this World? Equal Money

How did we shape ourHuman Nature’? We just have to consider how it is that  the 99% have abdicated self responsibility and allowed a 1% to take ‘all the power’ as all the money to control over the majority – only a belief system as strong as ‘god’ could do this, and it is called our monetary system – it is our creation and all the consequences are a reflection of the beliefs we held as truths without a question – it is about time we understand the ‘Missing link’ in our process of Change in Humanity and walk the practical steps to Become the Change that we want to see in this world.

 

Continuing:

 

 

 

Problem                                                                

  • Continuing from 346. Manumission with Equal Money 

    Since the beginning of our time, humans have organized in groups/ societies and communities to ensure that we would always have our survival guaranteed. However, physical force and dominance made it possible for some to create a hierarchical organization where the strongest one would be able to force/ have power over another to do whatever they wanted them to do which would essentially mean doing ‘their job’ for them or else a form of punishment and abuse would ensue. If we look at money and what it has become, it is the representation and reflection of this threat-creating  process in an inverse manner, it is not that if you don’t do the work you’ll get physically or mentally abused, if you have No money you  won’t Have any means to support yourself until you Do get a job and get your ‘freedom’ back. This is the mechanism of slavery and survival that we are all existing in.

 

  • Culture became the  ‘sentimental and emotional’ coercive element in our society to reinforce values, behaviors, belief systems, patterned socialization that could benefit the same economic and political powers in place. This is where we are born into desiring to be ‘rich and famous by having all the money in the world’ and equating that to the purpose of life in itself, while life in fact has no purpose other than existing in a self-regulated and sustainable manner, which is something we have simply not implemented in our every day living understanding of our role within this world system. We turned life into a ‘purpose’ and gave ourselves a ‘reason to exist’ and that was shaped according to the same values and mechanism that would ensure the world system is kept in place – this is where everywhere in our media, books, traditions, religion, family, teachers, in every single relationship that we’ve formed this same patterning exists: we are meant to seek happiness in life but of course, such happiness is not ‘for Free.’  Yet we seek ‘Freedom’ without even being aware of how we don’t even own our own lives the moment we sign the contract to exist as part of a system created by ourselves  to only care about one’s wellbeing, and be a ‘self-sufficient individual’ with no other purpose but to achieve personal satisfactions, while ignoring the relationships of abuse that one has to ‘make use of’ and partake in order to get to ‘make a living’ and furthermore get to such desired superior social status i.e., becoming wealthy, influential and dominant in society, the survival of the fittest crowned and legitimized by everyone as a dream come true. But where in this equation is an equal consideration of this benefit being available and possible or all individuals equally?

 

  • Our Education at school and home is another main tool to ensure that every person is indoctrinated into the ways of the system. This is where we were taught to obey, to be able to perform, compete and be fear driven to accomplish our tasks to get things ‘right’ even if we don’t understand the purpose of what we are learning for is for in practical reality. Everything that would be required to be of practical understanding of how our ecosystem works, how to develop critical thinking, how to become practically skilled to work with the resources and tools that we already have, how to ‘think out of the box’ in order to find more efficient ways of living, how to regard at all times  everyone’s wellbeing, how to sustain the environment, the animals, how to not create special relationships but honor each other as equal parts of the world we live in, how to be self responsible beings… none of this is part of our Education, it is instead the process formation of a complacent slave bound by fear and constant requirement of money to live that makes of our Education the greatest well masked form of indoctrination that we are all required to fulfill if we ‘want to make it’ in this world. Never did we question why it is that all of such knowledge and information is required in such abstract manner with no practical application in our day to day living – yet we regarded as ‘important’ because of having to be graded according to how much we could memorize it or not.

 

  • Every form of knowledge on how the systems that control our lives are created is reduced to pamphlet-like information in our schooling years with no further detail other than an extensive amount of ‘facts’ we are supposed to accept ‘how they are’ and ‘have always been,’ shutting down any other possible ways to change the way things work in our world and research new ways to live and coexist in our societies – this is what Schools should be for, but we know it is not so.

 

  • Our thoughts being that basic unit of interaction with our environment and assessment of ourselves as ‘who we are’ throughout our lives becomes the essential programming that we are constantly defining ourselves by every time that what we think is not what is best for all, every time that we reduce life to a set of experiences that can be bought and consumed, every time that we look forward to accumulate and possess something that we have no idea how it has been created, under which conditions and to what extent the Earth’s resources, slave labor as in bad working conditions, low wages, extensive amounts of fossil fuels were used to distribute the thing, plus all the legal permits, marketing campaigns and retail strategies that ensure the profit making purposes in the benefit of a few – this is what we have become, this is what we are currently fueling by every single product we buy and consume.

 

  • Being Greedy only means that one would participate more in an indirect manner with buying more things, but every single person is equally participant in these cycles of death and destruction in order to make or lives sustainable and happy. This is the enslavement that exists at a thought level transformed into an economic behavior where we certainly lack looking at the consequences of this enslaved cycle imposed onto society. We learned that we can ‘be free’ with money but we haven’t even questioned who taught us to desire more? Who told us that being rich is the ultimate happiness? Who gave us the ‘hint’ that life was all about ‘following your own dreams’ without any other care but our personal satisfaction? Of course, this is the corporate mentality that had to become ‘our living philosophy’ in order to keep the game running for the minority only. Yet we all complied to the game. This is The Trap we’re in, which is also another documentary I suggest watching in order to understand the multiple levels of  control that we’ve existed in. 

    Solution                                                                            

  • Continuing from 346. Manumission with Equal Money

    The solution begins within the individual to get to know and understand the mechanisms in which our mind works, how we have been subject to and subjugated by our own thinking patterns, emotions, feelings, beliefs, ideologies, preferences, religions, culture and any other form of identity including our professions to ensure we would only accept our role in the system ‘as is’ and only learned how to make the most money in it, but never actually dare to question it, which implies that this process entails a recognition of our collective responsibility upon every single aspect that is taking place in this world.

 

  • Now that we are aware what we’ve been participating in our system, how we have managed ourselves in our societies without a question and how we have complained to ‘follow our dreams’ without even knowing what type of agenda such dreams complied to, we are capable of making an informed decision: do I remain as a slave by my own acceptance and allowance, being colluded in a system of corruption where we have money or die or I stand up, take Self Responsibility and ensure that I become the solution that is required in this world?

     
  • Equal Money is all about choosing Life, choosing to no longer be a slave to a system that we have all participated, fueled and complied to believing that we were only ‘taking care of ourselves’ but never questioning who and what was being abused in such process and why we had to ‘fight for our survival’ instead of being supported by virtue of being alive.  This is thus the first step that one take to become part of the change that we require to create in this world: one begins to live and apply the principle of Equality as Life through a Process of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness. This is the only way that we have realized one is able to step out of the brainwashing and mind control that we have perpetuated as our own identities, as our own preferences and ‘human traits,’ because it involves recognizing how we abdicated responsibility to life, our deliberate disregard for one another as equals, our abuse imposed onto the resources that sustain our lives in our deliberate pursue of progress and ‘development’ that was never understood was just another way of ‘redefining’ profit making purposes as our ‘way of living.’

 

  • Self-interest, greed, selfishness, lack of common sense, negligence, deliriums of grandeur, envy, jealousy, competitive natures and abusive behaviors must be deconstructed behaviors at an individual level. This we do through the written process of Writing, Self-Forgiveness to recognize what we have Accepted and Allowed ourselves to be and become and at the same time, write down the process of Self Correction that we determine ourselves to live and apply, ensuring that the end result of this self introspection and self investigation is a definitive Self Corrective living process that always  leads to what is Best for All Life in Equality.

 

  • To do this and ensure one is actually implementing the living principles of Life in Equality, we have also set up the necessary platforms of support listed at the end of this blog.  Desteni is the platform of Individual Support in order to integrate the Principle of Life in Equality to understand how our lives can change, our ‘human nature’ and ‘human behavior’ can change by our Self-Willed decision to no more participate in all the thinking processes, the emotions, feelings, desires, wants and needs that go beyond what is required to live in a dignified manner – this is the ‘Missing link’ that has not been implemented yet in all our ‘World Change Processes’ throughout history. It is about time we let the world know that we got the solution, we got the answers and in this to have a global effect: Each individual’s Self Application Counts.

 

 

Rewards                                                  

  • The process of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness implies ourselves giving our own permission and direction to birth ourselves as life in the Physical. This means that it is a process wherein we individually ensure that each of our thoughts, words and actions stand in the Best Interest of ourselves and All as Equals. We will no longer be born into a system of monetary enslavement, but instead money will become the surety to the means we require to live and we will be able to ensure  that no one is left behind.

 

  • The birth of a new Human Nature gives way to our New Living Behavior where Life in Equality will exist as a stable, reliable and sustainable living environment that sets the foundation for us to honor each other once that we will no longer have to compete and fight for our survival, which will ensue a new collective understanding of what it is to live in equal interdependence and support and how we can in fact learn to love our neighbor as ourselves. This is possible through the Process of Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty where we learn to love ourselves, to develop ourselves to our fullest potential and ensure that we become the living example of what it is possible when our lives are dedicated not only for our own well being, but for everyone’s wellbeing in Equality. This is the Principle of Life in Equality and by living it, Heaven on Earth will be here as our very words, thoughts and deeds directed to generate Life in Equality.

 

Day 349: The Message of Jesus

  • By implementing this living change in our behavior, our actions, our words, our way of thinking, perceiving and expressing ourselves we are able to generate a suitable living environment for all children to be born and integrate themselves to an environment where all they will learn and apprehend as their understanding of themselves, their world and each other will be based in the principle of life in Equality, developing common sense to ensure that all relationships formed, all decisions made, all expression is always leading to a best for all outcome. This will be our collective responsibility to ensure we become the pillars of the future by setting the example of a new human behavior and nature that will always honor life in Equality, where no slaves and no abuse toward life will ever exist – this is what each one of us must take Self-Responsibility for, this is how each one of us becomes the politician, the lawyer, the father, the mother, the teacher, the  authority as life that guards everyone’s interest as our own, because we recognize we are One and Equal.

 

 

 

 

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330. Consumer Rehab in Equal Money Capitalism

 

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS

 

 

 

Problem                                                                 

 

The alienation of the spectator to the profit of the contemplated object (which is the result of his own unconscious activity) is expressed in the following way: the more he contemplates the less he lives; the more he accepts recognizing himself in the dominant images of need, the less he understands his own existence and his own desires. The externality of the spectacle in relation to the active man appears in the fact that his own gestures are no longer his but those of another who represents them to him. This is why the spectator feels at home nowhere, because the spectacle is everywhere.  – Guy Debord, The Society of the Spectacle [1]

 

Soft Imperialism by Culture and MediaContinuation

  • Creating needs in people, tell them consuming is  ‘what life is all about’ and you get a certain market that will live a devoted life to praise consumption and reduce life to a series of experiences that end the moment a new trend comes out, a new experience to buy, a new gadget to wear and upgrade one’s image of  success worn as clothes, accessories, shoes, cars, pictures of being having the ‘great life’ – but, deep inside there is a strong sense of alienation that is  difficult to look from ‘outside’ because it is virtually everywhere as part of ‘who we are’ and the identities we become, which are the byproduct of the same profitable society that breeds consumers, not living beings.

 

  • Trading our goods and services has nothing o do with the cult of the image that we have built around consumerism, it is necessary to realize that our lives cannot be determined by the amount of experiences we have, how many ‘valuable objects’ we own, because these are all the values that keep the same system running, wherein our needs and desires are shaped in the image and likeness of celebrities that we seek to mimic and adopt as our own identity. That’s the configuration of our society and that’s why Debord emphasizes that we feel ‘at home’ nowhere, because the spectacle is everywhere, and everyone buys into it.

 

The spectacle within society corresponds to a concrete manufacture of alienation. Economic expansion is mainly the expansion of this specific industrial production. What grows with the economy in motion for itself can only be the very alienation which was at its origin. (Debord, 1967)

 

  • What we grow every time we buy is our self-image built around the cult of what we own, how we look, what we choose as our ‘lifestyle.’ This alienation is not only existent toward that which we buy, having no idea how it is produced and where it will end once we’re ‘done’ with it – we get alienated from the very physical reality that we are as our physical body. We’ve made of our flesh and bones an Image that we seek to Adapt according to the images on billboards, creating eating disorders and self image obsessions that occupy a being’s entire life where even if food is not consumed, the image seeking pretty much consumes the being alive, making of an internal conflict a time-consuming entity that leads us to be absolutely unaware of reality, but only exist in the glorious self interest of me-my-image-and-myself.

 

  • The consumer culture is the greatest form of degradation that we have faced as  humanity, because it stopped being a momentary form of distraction a few hours a day or a momentary treat after a hard day of work, it’s become who we are and how we behave and  have shaped our values, beliefs, morals, relationships according to these  Images that are upgraded every season. This means that: you have to buy NEW things every time to be ‘up-to-date’ in a society that believes it is important to  have a fresh look and  identity according to mass-media trends and ensure you are ‘upgraded’ and follow what your social tribe of preference dictates to buy every other season – this has become ‘mandatory’ if you don’t want to face marginalization for not being ‘cool enough’ to have enough money to Buy new things on a constant basis. 

 

  • Children are taught to seek love, money and superhero traits – teenagers learn to be disillusioned about  a world that has nothing to do with the fantasy presented in movies and videogames, new heroes representing the ideal lifestyles of perfectly tailored models that become ‘the voice of a generation’ emerge as depressive-and-on-meds type of figures that values more spending time feeling a constant need for ‘something’ and seeking it surfing in the net, consuming drugs, buying, drinking, gossiping, playing with gadgets rather than enjoying physical interaction with each other to learn how to live in the first place.
  • What’s the common denominator here? People seek experiences generated in the idleness of our sedentary lives that require constant updates of personal computers, phones, more and bigger flat screen TVS that constantly imprint the images we want to become. But, who has decided to present this to us? It is only in the benefit of those that sell the products that we get to ‘choose’ what we desire. Entertainment would not be an industry if the prefab images shown on TV weren’t available for sale.

 

  • We can see the pattern already: the main problem is our constant desire to Experience –  the world revolves around this. There would be no point to buy, consume, visit places and eat up stories to make us feel good.  We have diminished ourselves to a collection of experiences, memories, people that we believe are important to us for what they make us feel. Who benefits from this? Everyone that is able to create the perfect setting, the perfect stage for such ‘insta-moments,’ the perfect drug-drink to consume, the greatest clothes to wear, the greatest cars to show off, the most benefits that only a few can afford – which makes it even More special and exclusive.
  • We live to praise our self-images that determine how valuable we are at the eyes of everyone else – is it? Or have we just become an illusion to such an extent that we cannot even get to question how we got ourselves into this insatiable state of consumption, leading us to a life of constant energy fixed desires, becoming drug addicts, sex  addicts, TV junkies, celebrity gossipers, government bashers, economy illiterates, freedoms seekers and god seekers, getting high and jumping off balconies to challenge ‘the system’ and make a general anthem of ‘Ignorance is Bliss’ as the road to walk for the next generations to come. 

    How long can we keep this show running?  We have reached the bottom of our downward spiral – how much more repetition can we take?

 

  • Let’s look at our thoughts, see how many of them relate to an experience about who we are, how others see us, what we want to buy next, where we want to be? Were we the creators of these seemingly unstoppable desires? are we the result of the perfect feel good enslavement that is sold to us every time we want to Feel something new? Yes, it is – and we have all fell for it –doesn’t matter ‘who’ you are,  individualization has been made the most important thing that we hold, beyond any common sense of being breathing physical beings.

 

  • The truth is we have never really been ‘ourselves’ because we have only existed as mind systems seeking for energetic experiences that are bottled up, tagged and sold because we desire, hope and need it. We have sold our physical body to the devil, which is the system that we all feed with our desires, the greatest treats that justify a life of slavery, poverty and abuse for a majority,  because we all work to get these bits of heaven in order to numb ourselves from our reality that we ended up victimizing ourselves from, believing that the corporate monster is to blame, instead of looking at the very thinking processes that fuel this entire machinery that is seemingly as unstoppable as our own mind – here I state: it is Only a Belief that it can’t be stopped – We  have to take ourselves to the origin of our thoughts to prove such belief is simply an expensive  delusion.

 

Solution                                                                

The Spectacle Meets Rehab

 

  • Considering practicality/money and necessity over experience, looking if what we want to buy in fact only feeds our ‘self image,’ pursuing the experience of owning something, or who one will be when compared to others that don’t have what we do, and instead look at the facts if one in fact Need what we are about to buy, or if I one is subconsciously buying an character-accessory to store within this personal vault of memories and experiences that we define as ‘who I am.’

    This is a key experiment that I dare everyone reading this to do, and if you are Self Honest which means you don’t ‘fall’ for your desires, you should see a considerable amount of money remaining in your bank account/pocket/ under your mattress, because you will be able to stop yourself and realize that what you are buying is only an Illusion, that it will be a flickering moment just like a match that burns bright and consumes itself to ashes, requiring us to flick another to brighten the same darkness that we have avoided to become: physical stable living beings that do not require an Experience to be alive – think about this this, will generate a Great change in our consumer culture if we integrate this understanding in our day to day living behavior, which will include getting to know How our products are created, where they end up after they are no longer used and the consequential outflows of producing and distributing such products to satisfy our desires, then decide what we can keep and dispose all that only feeds greed.

  • Solutions for isolation with our current gadgetry lifestyles. There is nothing wrong with the techno-advances that we have, but a few considerations are shared here:  once that we realize that we are not images, we’ll spent less time cultivating our fascinations to further specialize the ‘who we are’ as this character/self image toward others, we’ll spend that time developing a relationship with ourselves, to get to know that Self that has only existed as the byproduct of our society, of our parents and the media that filled the ‘void’ in our lives.

    Here we can make it fun to – upon recognizing this prefab/ pre-packaged condition we all kept as ourselves– realize that we can in fact for the very first time in our human existence Decide who we want to be, integrate Values that consider our Equality as Life, living to become a contributor to a social transformation that will remove our spectacle attires, stripping ourselves  to see what remains once that we stop feeding our consumer driven and personality-cult obsessions. A group effort is required for this,each one of us will stand as an example of what it will take to stop being addicted to the mind and learn to appreciate the physical that is what has always been here, that we’ll  learn to trade as a living meaning of giving and receiving in Equality – no more greed for superiority and mind-driven personality fixes.

 

Rewards                                                   

  • Opening up our eyes from the illusion will mean a transformation in our entertainment and ‘variety production’ in this world. Imagine the amount of ‘special items’ dedicated to the cult of self that could be significantly reduced when people stop buying experiences and instead, learn how to invest on supportive items, genuinely enjoyable treats and re-learn how to communicate, share and essentially enjoy each other’s presence beyond the constant up keeping of a Character that we sold to others, in fear of being vulnerable about our real experiences, our questions, our thoughts and fears – we’ll be able to heal a drugged up, shopaholic and self abusive society with the ability to share our ‘Consumer Anonyms’ stories, as well as forgiving our constant competitions and fights over our pet peeves, that have also became necessary religions to idealize the perfect ‘originality’ that everyone sought to attain in our so-called lives.

 

  • We can make the crash and the fall of our mental high, the landing on Earth after the illusion of grandeur a humble experience to learn from each other, to forgive ourselves for having turned this Earth into a massive grave of products chocking animals on Earth an in the sea, bits of junk that once caused us a form of joy, never questioning if we actually needed that or not.

 

  • Consumerism as a disease will be treated at an individual level with the understanding that we have all complied to turn beings into slaves and nature, the animals, plants as assets that became accessories to our ideal prefab characters we sought to be and become. It is the least thing we can do after we have succumbed to a never quenching mind thirst for more, while forgetting that we are, beyond all, physical living beings that Live  and Breathe regardless of what we believe and experience at a mind level. Desire for more, Greed  is the real evil that we have to disintegrate from our core-programming, and we have the support here: Desteni  I Process.

 

 

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

 

 
Freedom is not Free Stuff that Stuffs up the World - Matti Freeman - Equal Money Capitalism

Artwork by Matti Freeman

Sources:

[1]Debord, G. (1967). The society of the spectacle. Retrieved from http://library.nothingness.org/articles/SI/en/display/16

 

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This is DESTENI – the Culture of Life


275. Child Addicts: Problem–Solution–Rewards

In the Equal Money Capitalism, we are presenting the current problems that are affecting our society, directing it toward a solution and looking at how we will all be benefited from having a world that stops running in self-abusive, harmful and destructive patterns.

In this blog, we are continuing from the presentation of the problem in the last post 274. Child Drug Addicts – here we are directing the problem toward a solution that invariably generates equal rewards. This means that the same pattern of rehabilitation and solution can be applied to any other country/ population that presents a similar problematic.

Watch the documentary Afghanistan’s Child Drug Addicts in order to become aware of how drug addictions does not only mean ‘wanting to escape’ reality out of fun and having enough money to sponsor your own escapist-habits.

 

  • Problem:

War in Afghanistan  has destroyed the city, many have been killed leaving families without parents to take care of children.

– Males use drugs in order to be able to work longer hours, which means not enough money is made and as such, bring the addictions home and spread even to 1 and a half year old babies.

– Children lose limbs because of the war and have no medicines to cope with the pain, villages are attacked wherein civilians become casualties of war. Parents have no other option but to give them opium to ease the pain, which leads them to become addicts from then on.

 

Psychological Damage: Teenagers suffer from depression because of loss of family members in bombings/ witnessing suicide bombers/ seeing dead people and having to recover from the traumatic experience which means, coping with suicidal tendencies.

– Families torn apart by the wars – hence children as young as 11 years old turn to drugs to cope with reality.

– Children turn to prostitution from the age of 8 years old in order to fund their own addictions – there’s no jobs/ no work.

– The Afghan powder/ heroin is the cheapest in the world here because of drug cartels now turning their poppy harvest into heroin, so it is ubiquitous. One gram is over 1 Pound.

 

– Poverty: High rates of unemployment make of drug addiction the common way of spending time and curbing the need for food.

– Adult population turn heroin addicts in order to cope with a reality where no support is given.

– Children are adopting the patterns of the parents within the consumption of heroin in order to mitigate hunger.

– No health provided, no doctors available, no support on how to deal with child addicts.

– Food is more expensive than opium.

– People would sell drugs to make a decent living, and with the eradication of their plantations, they have no other option but taking drugs due to lacking food.

– Not able to afford medicines, opium is the answer.

Family Crisis: Parents  give opium to their children in order to mitigate hunger

– Half of all opium users give it to their children of which the number is in the rise due to no solutions.

– Other children just become addicts due to the parents’ smoke

– Parents give their children drugs in order to cope with the pain and hunger.

– There’s not enough food to feed the whole family and when smoking opium, they lose the appetite.

Drug Addiction is seen as a dishonor in Islam : leads people to be afraid to ask for support.

– Only one center deals with child addiction in the entire country.

 

Consequences:

– A Generation of Drug addicts is created.

 

  • Solution:

– No more wars in order to obtain resources from other countries

– No more wars against ‘terrorism’ as wars are in itself terrorism

– Changing the harvesting of heroin for money into foods for human consumption. Drug consumption won’t be a necessity if everyone is given equal support.

– Proper living conditions that ensure all people have access to decent jobs such as reconstruction/ building of houses, schools and all the infrastructure that has been destroyed with the wars

– Education to parents in order to take care of their children with proper medical health supervision to not treat any form of ache with opium

– Educating the population about the long term addiction problems that ensue when giving their children opium/ heroin.

– Access to food,  water, sanitation services, education, nutritional and parenting counseling while developing crops to grow actual food and not drugs.

– Rehabilitation programs that are openly supported by the government: no more religious veto toward addictions which means, facing the problem as the national crisis it has become.

– Kids without parents given to proper adoptive ones that will ensure no abuse is committed onto them.

 

  • Rewards: 

– Peace, safety, tranquility for all inhabitants in the world with ceasing fire and all forms of warfare.

-Resources that were directed toward defense against the invasion can now be directed to support the population to get to live in dignified living conditions.

– Healthy living conditions/ environments wherein people can learn how to take care of their children while having access to proper food, water, sanitation, education and practical care considerations to ensure no more addictions are generated due to lack of money.

– Education availability based on self-care, proper nutritional habits and taking care of the environment as well as involving the parents to rebuild the city/ houses given the necessary means to do so.

– An actual historical treasure that this country represents could be open for visits without having tourists fearing to be another causality of war or kidnapped.

– No more child prostitution or drug addiction, no more depression or suicidal bombers – the living conditions given in equality generate a sense of well being within all individuals, ensuring real happiness as an actual possibility that will never again  be silenced by the sound of a bomb.

– Ensuring a generation of human beings that learn the consequences of war and poverty as they are supported to gain stability through communal support toward the reconstruction and rehabilitation of themselves and their environment.

 

Read all about the Equal Money Capitalism here in the Economist’s Journey to Life and the Equal Money System website

Equal Money Capitalism

 

 

 

 

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239. Preventing Failures in Life

 

I Know I can do it – a full potential that can only exist in our minds  if it’s not lived as the totality of who we are here in one single moment that it can be placed into physical/ practical living application- otherwise we then simply become great parrots.

 

Through reading Heaven’s Journey To Life, I realized that this ‘I Know’ is no different to hope and having ‘faith’ in oneself which is a synonym of inaction and further waiting for something/ somehow being able to direct ourselves in the future, and in the meantime the ‘I Know’ remains as a point of security – as mentioned in the previous blogs, a false-confidence that serves no purpose other than holding a thoughtful-assertiveness without any physical results that prove it to be so in fact.

 

Continuing from:

230. Opposing My Roots

 

So, I’ve been debunking this self-belief of intelligence as just that: an accepted and allowed tag as ‘who I am’ that is no different to any other category we tend to reduce ourselves to. Therefore within this self-belief it is no different to holding the idea of a god in our minds having some form of power over others – same when I say ‘I Know I can Do it’ but not do it.

 

Memory within the ‘I Know I Can’ Character – Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements

 

Event/ Memory: Being worried, stressed out, anxious about an exam when I was either in 2nd or 3rd grade primary school and my mother saw me all worried about it and told me ‘You Know You Can, others that really can’t should worry, but not you’  within this creating a sense of security within the acknowledging of another that ‘I can’ because I simply didn’t trust myself – and from this moment on, I would hear the same words in my mind the moment I would go into any form of stress about exams or any other academic point wherein my ‘performance’ was going to be measured. Within this, it became like a ‘magical motto’ that I would use to gain confidence but never really dissected what was it that was implied within this single ‘You know you can’ statement that became my ‘I Know I Can.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to base a security of who I am according to Knowing what I am capable of based on previous results and experiences of getting a high-grade with certain ease wherein I would realize that stressing out was not required since I would always excel, which became a conceited way of existing as a knowledgeable character wherein I became of this knowledge-ego as myself as this certainty that became a self belief, creating a consequence of me really not being self-honest with myself because I stopped giving ‘it all’ that I could based on comparing myself to Others that would be in a much ‘lesser position’ and accordingly, measure my abilities/ capabilities as always remaining ‘on top’ but only through ranking systems wherein I stopped pushing myself further to actually develop skills or improve myself, but create a form of mediocrity wherein all that mattered is that I ‘knew’ how to do it,and would do it but that was it, there was no longer any push or drive because in my eyes and at the eyes of others, I was apparently already ‘good enough’ or ‘intelligent’ so

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to limit myself within a self belief of ‘knowing’ which eventually became only a fluffy ego self-belief without any form of actual work, substance behind it, becoming this façade as personality that people would identify myself with, without me precisely working on actually being/ becoming a ‘better person’ according to my standards then, but just keep myself ‘on top’ to remain within that position at the eyes of others, but knowing within myself that I wasn’t really ‘giving my all’ and developing further skills and abilities, it only became an ego-driven effort to ‘keep my spot’ but not actually do it for myself for the purpose of actually expanding and learning more about myself,  within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become apathetic when it came to all things school, because within this ego of ‘I know it all’ everything became too repetitive within my mind, too useless, too dull and boring because of me believing that I was ‘at the top’ and there was nothing else to aspire to within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spite my own predictability of becoming someone ‘great’ within the world system just like all the other kids with ‘great grades’ such as what I had back then, and because of deeming this ‘excelling’ within the system as something that I had to do but also resisted/ feared, I ended up opting for an ‘unexpected choice’ in life wherein I did all I could to dedicate myself to studies that had nothing to do with ‘being intelligent’ apparently, only spiting my own character and ending up trapped in my own web  – so to speak  – because of this choice being made out of spite and ended up spiting myself and getting caught in my own regret as another for of stagnation – which is unacceptable, because I was indeed the one that made the decisions and in no way are such decisions being considering what’s best for all, but only spite the entirety of who I had accepted and allowed myself to be and become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had ‘nothing else to do’ or nothing else to be or become because I had it ‘too easy’ and as such, would get the same experience in any school or career because the problem was not the school or what I chose to study but my starting point and self experience within it and as such I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the careers I chose, the people I chose to be with, the likes and preferences I developed and essentially the totality of my choices in life as something that ‘didn’t work,’ without realizing that all of that was simply according to who I accepted and allowed myself to be as this knowing-character with no practical living considerations of what would actually be self supportive in self honesty, because I am well aware that I only sought my ‘highest excitement’ within my choices in life – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make my choices in life as to what to study, who to establish relationships with, what to be ‘inclined’ to learn more about, the ‘type of personality’ that I became was all driven by/ through energy as the mind that sought a point of excitement within what I perceived as a dull life experience, within this not realizing that I deliberately sought to create a form of inner conflict to ‘make my life more entertaining’ as in having something to be sad about/ be regretful and essentially trapped in my own mind bubble of regrets, without realizing that no matter which choices I would have made, I was going to end up in the same position because there was no principle established in order to live in self honesty and within the consideration of self support, because that didn’t exist in my frame of reference back then. Thus,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and blame others in my past and all the influences that I had throughout my life for having made the choices and decisions that I made, without realizing that it was only me that participated fully and fool-y within/ as them, playing the character for myself and others while holding a high expectation that was only sustained as a self-belief – not real as an actual physical movement of which one could only get the basics that would allow me to keep such position in place, but within me I Know that I didn’t quite give it ‘all’ myself as an actual self-movement, which ensued apathy and dullness within myself toward anything having to do with being ‘creative’ or ‘good’ at something, not realizing that these energetic experiences were the consequential opposite outflow of first having chosen my career and studies based on an energetic high where no 1+1 was considered and I am fully responsible for that, and well aware of it, wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make decision in life based on energetic experiences of wanting to seek my ‘feel good’ point as a certain character/ personality that ‘I knew’ I could fulfill, without ever actually taking this decision and projecting it to see what are the practical points that I can employ myself in and being realistic about it according to how the world system works, which shows/ reveals that I wasn’t in my 5 senses when I made the decision, but was existing as this ‘fluffy’ type of self-belief of me ‘Knowing that I can make it’ as this self-faith and self-belief of being ‘capable of doing anything I can’ but never really testing out and walking the practical physical considerations of what I would be able to work in and do within these careers and actually Do it as an informed decision – but, I didn’t hence the consequences.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold my mother’s words in a similar vein to the ‘you know you an do it,’ type of self-belief and hearing ‘you are going to be great no matter what you do,’ and in this believe that I could in fact excel and be the best ‘no matter what I do’ which is what positive thinking and talk lead to: creating a self-hope and self-faith of being potentially able to be the best wherever and whatever we do and become – which is not a ‘bad’ thing in itself, but how I lived those words as a form of false-certainty with no practical application.

I realize that within these words that became backchat, I became only a character that could live-out these self definitions within the law of the least effort wherein my results were compared toward others and within this, living up to simply ‘maintaining’ the character but not really being here as myself being self-directive in everything that I do, which is what we tie ourselves to within this world system: remaining as that specific character For others and neglecting an actual self-development to our fullest potential, which is not even encouraged within our current education system either no matter how many ranks and studies one may have, it is still within the confinement of a selective-preparation that one can do wherein the actual beingness of the person is  – most of the times – not regarded, but only accumulating further knowledge and information as a form of ‘betterment’ that has never been based on actually supporting a human being to become a Living being in the consideration of equality as life or any other living principle that we can live by for the betterment of all – in essence, a blatant self-belief with no actual practical application.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to elevate myself to my own expectations of being ‘good’ at whatever I decide to do, and take these words as an actual ‘positive statement,’ without realizing that if I would not in fact investigate in a practical physical matter what I would want to do, it would only became just another energetic-driven experience with no self awareness of the practical use of my decisions in life for an actual betterment of life.  Within this

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ranking system in the school system more creates a sense of specialness/ uniqueness toward those with ‘high grades’ without really providing with an actual education and support toward actually being/ becoming something and someone that provides with an actual insight of the necessary points to change/ implement within this society for a common betterment, because none of this has been propagated or taught in schools, which then places into question the entire schooling system in itself, wherein if what’s best for all is not placed as the common-goal within any field of studies, then: what are we actually supporting as ‘education’? Who are we becoming within this education system within such terms and conditions of not really aiming at doing what’s best for all? Is then a so-called intelligent person within this system that is not aiming at supporting life in equality an actual honorable definition of what Intelligence should be in this world’? No, it only becomes a synonym of being well trained to not ask questions, seek your permanent status within such ‘higher ranks’ in society, get well paid about it, become an example for others to follow which is what enables the system to be perpetrated generation after generation, no one questioning what these ‘higher ranks’ in society are actually based and founded upon.

 

Within this all, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to live out as an ego that believes can excel in ‘everything I decide to do,’ wherein it mostly became a sense of ingrained superiority against others as the primary self experience of ‘knowing better/ knowing more’ and creating this security based on what others believe me to be – only to then find myself obviously dismantling the entire self belief and realizing that if we look at what I actually did is nothing but just surfing on the ranks to maintain a mediocre superiority status for the sake of ‘keeping my spot’ as being intelligent/ responsible person, but the Who I was within such results was not really here as a self-directive being, actually doing it fully and whole heartedly, because I actually within this ‘having faith’ within myself, eventually ‘lost faith’ within myself and everything/ everyone, which became this constant apathetic self experience toward the world as the usual cycles of ‘what’s the use in this,’ without realizing that this is the ‘nitty gritty’ point that I often hit as a continuous cycle once that ‘I know how it will all end anyways’ wherein I actually become the predicament of my own thinking processes, wherein we trap ourselves within our own loops of ‘knowing how it all ends’ and blindly driving ourselves to repeat the same experiences over and over again with no change – why? Because who I am within what I do is not fully self-honest as the realization that I had never in fact lived and that all I pretended to ‘know’ and be able to project an outcome of was only a way to ‘give up’ on myself before even starting, give up on any actual self-motivation because of seeing the world as just ‘too fucked’ to have any change be possible –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still hold on to a belief deep inside that there is no way we can change humanity, which is the ingrained ‘doomsday’ type of self-experience that I became wherein I mostly lived up to others’ expectations but not really placing all my beingness and effort and self-direction toward an actual living, doing all that I can to in fact develop myself further in a certain area or activity, just because of still holding on to this self-doom shadow as a constant presence of ‘nothing that you do will work, will make a difference’ which translates into an ingrained dullness and apathy within myself, giving up before even trying and just keeping a certain ‘standard’ but not really physically directing myself to for the first time motivate myself to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stop challenging myself in life just because of believing that I have gotten to the ‘peak’ too fast and there was nothing else to ‘attain’ and within this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate life to an ‘attainment’ of sorts, believing that being alive was a synonym of getting ‘high’ in any form of rank of what ‘success’ is now measured within this world and reality, and within that realizing success for what it is, spiting it/ doing all I could to not become that, but only within an energetic-spite that then became as a hopelessness and uselessness wherein it did not matter how much I ‘knew’ it was ‘useless’ because it was never being placed within the consideration of what is best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of taking responsibility for our creation as this world system, create an experience about it, which is like complaining about our own fuckup as a form of victimization to not actually take self responsibility for it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself creating an Experience about our current world condition based on ‘what I Know,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am only focusing on my own self experience and use it as an excuse to not move, instead of simply moving, doing and directing myself to face the consequences of which I am absolutely self responsible for in an equal manner, consider what’s best for all and direct myself as it, physically – not thinking about it.

 

I realize that the perceived ‘apathy toward living’ is only an elitist self-experience that we are able to embody because we are secluded in this minute bubble of self-experience where the reality and the actual suffering in this world that is existent within everyone that have no access to money is simply disregarded, no considered – which proves how this apathy, hopelessness, helplessness and uselessness is only an egotistical experience wherein we are only looking at ‘how we FEEL about life/ our reality’ and create this entire self experience accordingly, instead of actually looking at the world physically, understand the flaws, understand how Nothing has worked in the past as a point of change and see where we have missed ourselves as living beings within it all.

 

I see, realize and understand that within this ‘knowing’ point, we diminish ourselves to our own self-beliefs as limitations that are and have never been based upon an actual consideration of Life, because Life is not a knowing but a living.

 

Within this, it is to currently realize that we have to walk the transition point from knowledge and information and all the characters we’ve become around this self-belief system of fake values, and individually walk our own self correction to establish a self-honest starting point within Anything that we are currently doing – because I realize that no matter what choices I would have made in life, I would have lead myself to the same ‘uselessness’ experience where nothing seems  to work, nothing seems to make a difference because nothing of what is currently existing in this world is Meant to/ designed to/ created to make an actual difference in this world. Therefore

 

I commit myself to Live the realization that no matter where I am, what I do and the choices I make, nothing of what currently exists as the past and the old system that we are still living in is designed to ‘work’ and ‘function’ and be suitable for an actual birthing of life – because this IS precisely our task, our duty, our point of responsibility and within this

 

When and as I see myself ever again getting to the point of ‘oh but nothing I do will change anything within the world/ others’ without realizing that it is so, nothing will change and nothing will move if our starting point remains within the same old ‘starting point’ of this entire world system as it exist today, wherein nothing is veered toward an actual functional best for all outcome. Thus I realize that that is our work, that is our duty, that is our self responsibility that will not emerge ‘by magic’ but has to actually be conducted within self awareness of the required changes in the system in order to then be able to align ourselves to that which will create  a substantial point of support for ourselves and others in this world.

 

I realize that there will be no quick fixes or results either, as such ‘quick results/ fixes’ exist only as a mind-interpretation of reality wherein no actual physical processes have been considered, nor any form of actual relationship that exists within ourselves toward each other and all the other living species, which then places into question how we have in fact never lived, because we have only ever equated ourselves to fulfill the same old standards within a system that has never really in fact functioned to support life.

 

Thus I commit myself to live the understanding and realization that a Knowing can only stand within the past of everything that we have been and become, and that nothing of this has ever in fact been living-conditions for each other – and that the motivation to then actually live won’t come as a Knowing of anything that we’ve been in the past, but must be walked s a practical living daily application of letting go of everything that we Believe we know and instead, walk ourselves through a process of re-directing ourselves to consider physical reality outcomes and current systematic transitions wherein yes, we are in this world, we have to still present a knowledgeable act but! who we are within ourselves is an awareness of this being a single ‘transition period’ that we have to walk through, facing our failures and manifested consequences and within doing so, concomitantly paving the way for a new ay of living and existing, as I see and realize that the process of birthing ourselves as life won’t have any ‘precedents’ within this system, it is an absolute self movement within the realization that it isn’t preprogrammed, it won’t come ‘easy’ or it won’t be defined according to ‘who I have been’ in my past. It is entirely subject to my own self movement here in every moment of breath.

 

Thus, from the past we can take what is useful and what can be molded/ shaped or corrected in its starting point to be able to function within the Equality System as the Equal Money System, wherein people won’t be regarded as ‘more’ for knowing what everyone will be equally capable of living/ doing – but instead, we will focus on supporting ourselves to develop practical skills that are readily useful to sustain ourselves in this world system as equals – no more hierarchical ranks in schooling systems of any kind.

 

I commit myself to stop existing in this self-hope of ‘I know I can’ but instead stop the past within myself by realizing that I don’t require to have this self-positive-talk as assertiveness, but simply direct myself to do it, within the consideration of having to walk through the past in order to correct it here as myself.

 

I commit myself to stop regretting the choices I’ve made in life and believing that they lead me to failure, without realizing that all in this world is currently failing and that the only way that we can stand up for ourselves is walking through this failure, facing the consequences and concomitantly living the solution within our living application of doing, being, proposing what is Best for All.

 

I commit myself to live the realization that we have to walk through the past, give it an actual ‘good riddance’ as a self-corrective process to face what we have become, what we left behind and everything we ‘Know’ but didn’t act upon and instead, give ourselves a start from scratch in order to actually build/ create what we are willing to stand equal and one to as our self-awareness creation, to no longer have to create a ‘negative’ or ‘positive’ experience about ourselves and ‘who we are’ within this world, but instead simply focus on aligning ourselves to be and become equal contributors to a best for all outcome in this physical reality – no more and no less, using the knowledge and information that can provide us with actual insights and data that we can consider in order to establish a world system based in Equality, the same process that we can apply for ourselves to not maximize our capabilities only at a thought level, but rather physically supporting ourselves and each other to ground such potentials toward an actual doing that ensues a result that benefits the whole in equality.

 

To be continued…

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The following illustration depicts this point, it is only going back to the ground wherein we can rebirth ourselves from scratch. It is then quite obvious how we could not be able to make ourselves ‘succeed’ from the starting point of everything we have believed ourselves to be. This is our equal point of starting from scratch, and this is how no one can possibly be ‘more’ than others  or ‘more advanced’ as nothing in this world can possibly provide such advancement without the illusion of progress being tainted by self-abuse.

Time to live in common sense and realize that every breath is our equal-starting point as physical beings that can direct ourselves to live the words we write/ speak in common sense – this will prevent any form of perceived ‘failure’ in this world system, as we have all in fact already failed to live as equals – hence, the willingness to walk this self-corrective process: there is no way out of this, we have to face our creation.

 

Good riddance to any form of laureate past since everything we have done and become in this world has been based and founded upon abuse, there is no way to keep any form of honor within what we’ve become as that would be ego and self separation.

 

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225. Is Living Life about Getting High?

 

“So, if you Experience God – you can just as well go and take a Drug and you will have the Same Experience.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

How many times have we equated Life to Experience? Only all the time. It should be a frightening thought to realize that we’ve never lived and that everything that we had deemed as our ‘peak experiences’ have only been energetic – read Limited – experiences that define the totality of who we are for a few seconds, minutes, hours through perpetuating our day to day living as a life-long dedication to keep seeking the same ‘feeling’ which means being addicted our whole lives seeking that ‘something’ that we can call our ‘little peace of heaven’ – in our culture – read ‘collective indoctrination/ brainwashing – we have equated living life to getting the most experiences that we have deemed as positive such as happiness, love, peace, joy and money, which enables all of these experiences as the ability to buy them.

 

Elitist Character: Drug Culture – Introduction 

 

What I’ve realized throughout this process of self support through writing and understanding our human mind is that, no matter if you take what’s regularly known as ‘drugs’ or not: we are all addicts to Energy.

But what happens when you got the basics to live/ you got what you essentially NEED to have a proper life and you got some money to spare? Well, you certainly look for more and more ways to ‘fill in the void’ that is experienced every day, isn’t it? It’s as if the air we breathe, the body that keeps us living here is just ‘not enough’ and there’s this something that keeps tormenting us… is it really ‘the world’? is it really ‘’life’ that’s playing tricks on us? Not at all. It is the same with our current world system: Is the world/ life the problem in this world? Is it Us not being ‘good enough’? No, it is the money system that is the problem, and it’s not even ‘money’ in itself but the ways in which it has been set to work, this means: the Human Mind that has created the rules for it is the problem. Same goes for our lives – our body is perfectly functional by itself, it is only when we start THINKING instead of Living that all goes down the toilet down the pipelines of ‘shitty experiences’ such as emotions and temporary ‘positive thinking– fixes’ such as all of the above mentioned temporary ‘fillers’ to a life that I know, most are simply not ‘happy’ about, not that I would want to change your perspective on that either, however, we dug our own grave and we’re the only ones that can ensure we don’t actually remain there.

 

What  happens when you live in a society wherein the minutest displeasing experience such as sadness, depression, anxiety – which is Utterly misunderstood in this reality –  please listen to Mykey’s explanation on Anxiety – dread, fear or any regular lack of attention at work/school or just lack of  self motivation =  you can be sold a drug and ‘solve the problem’ apparently. Now, I would mostly discourage anyone from taking any form of drug, but I’m not here to put you out of your meds either. Just read and follow through the common sense and ‘hopefully’ you make a decision that is best for all, best for your pocket and gain some self respect with a sense of self responsibility.

 

Understand the following point: We live in a world wherein marketing is used to sell ‘ice to a Eskimo’ as it’s been said, however what happens when the ice is changed to drugs and the Eskimo is any regular person that may experience any ups-downs as a result of participating in the mind of thoughts, emotions and feelings?  Well, you got it. The person will buy drugs in order to solve what they believe is some from of ‘chemical imbalance’ – which is the usual drill propagated by well-paid psychiatrists to say the same over and over again and ending up hooking you up with Paxil, Xanax, Zoloft, Prozac or valium – among many others – oh and don’t forget your Tafil to sleep well.  The moment we Believe that there is an actual problem that can be cured with medicines, we are not only abdicating our responsibility to our mind and what we in fact created and participated in to create ‘our experience,’ but we’re also then choosing to begin supporting  an entire industry that is certainly willing to promote this type of symptoms to a position of ‘absolute illness,’ placing you in a ‘powerless’ position to do anything about it But taking this or that drug to solve it.

 

It is not a mystery that the majority of the population that have sufficient money to eat and live in a dignified manner, spends money on drugs to ‘feel better’ or regulate some form of ‘mental instability’ that has been entirely Self Created. But what is that ‘feel better’ been equated to? – Yes, the entire ‘Happiness’ Propaganda that’s part of this capitalist system – catch the drift? Is Happiness then an actual disease that should be promoted as the actual delirium that is causing people to believe there is something ‘wrong’ with them for not being ‘satisfied’ with their lives – yes, same as love.

 

 

We’re all fed up with buying, consuming, popping pills, rolling joints, seeking the next great thrill.

 

Have we stopped for a moment and look at all the people, beings, parts of our reality we’ve abused in order to satisfy our Wants, Needs and Desires? And that includes not only our external reality, but our own physical body, using and abusing its components as catalyzers to create energetic deliriums when being stimulated with external substances that are meant to fuel the mind only, they are Not in any way an actual indication of us Living Life. And looking outside of ourselves, you can look at all the violence and drug-trafficking problems that are related to drugs, which should Not exclude Alcohol of course. I mean the array of drug addictions can be extensive if we expand our level of awareness of that which alters our experience in the body and creating a form of addiction to it. There are gigantic industries being moved by this desire to ‘live life in peace’ through taking drugs – and for that I suggest you inform yourself with the documentaries:

 

Now, how come this form of  self abuse and self destruction became popular? It’s not about characters, people’s context or troubled lives – no, this is all about a ‘greater scheme’ that has always been invisible to us until today.  The more I understand how reality functions, the more I clarify and get proper in detail explanations about how our every single cell in the body functions, every atom, every thought, our entire mind, the different aspects each layer of the mind correspond to in our personal experience as the mind, understanding and getting to hear from animals themselves the actual IntelliSense they live as physical beings and how I can only laugh at our attempt as humanity to evolve, placing ourselves above a single blade of grass. I see that the first time I heard from Bernard that ‘a single blade of grass is more aware than the entire humanity as a whole’ I realized that we were truly blind.

 

 

Why is there all this emphasis on Needs, Wants and Desires everywhere in our reality? They are the key to keep us preoccupied in our minds, always in the NOW as Consciousness, as time bound to a past, future and a presence that is only here as a mind trying to ‘silence itself’ and ‘think positive,’ while the very desires of the so-called ‘rehabilitated presence’ have caused the most outrageous abuse on Earth, on each other – this is our responsibility, this is what we’ve all done to one another, this is the result of following our addictions – whatever they might be. As long as you’ve experienced a want, need and desire we can know one thing: we are not HERE breathing, we are only  keeping ourselves chained to the next fix like addicts we’ve become.

Is this life? No

Is this what our entire ‘effort’ is worthy of? No

Are we willing to face the truth of ourselves? Yes, as there is no other way to create solutions if the actual way of how the problems were created is not understood in the first place. For now I suggest investigating that which one can see is ‘living for’ on a day to day basis: are you here living as You for you to actually dedicate your life to become a human being that is worthy of living life through Becoming the living word as Life? or are you only here just ‘passing by’ and expecting to catch some ‘good ride’ so you can die with a full tummy and a mind gnawed with tons of ‘good times,’ even if your liver is destroyed by alcohol or your veins are rot with chemicals you pumped with pills on a daily basis –

 

Think about it: is popping a pill, rolling a joint, shooting up some coke, taking acids, or buying your regular drugs over the counter an actual Meaning of what it is to BE Alive and WELL? Why would anyone Require a Substance to LIVE other than the nutriments that are here as our food, the oxygen that we breathe, the water that we drink and the physical participation that proves that we are HERE. That is what the basics of living is about, now, our world is being run as a happiness machine that sells drugs – in legal and illegal ways – to keep humans busy with the delirium of ‘Happiness’ and that we have to be ‘happy’ all the fucking time. Is this real? No! It is just like selling ice to a Eskimo – it is selling you a well being that is Not an energetic experience but an actual equal and one self-realization of who you are As your physical body that Does Not require a stimulant/ drug to ‘be well.’

 

Drugs only work at a mind level – if the mind is a system that only works on energy resourced from your physical body/ substance/ life – then what does that indicate? Isn’t seeking happiness and joy and bliss then them same as saying ‘I require to get high to live’? – How could Anyone Claim to ‘Love Life’ if Life is being equated to love, happiness, joy, bliss or any other temporary mind-fix of energetic churning inside your body generated by a systematic set of rules in your mind that you’ve acquired from the media that you’re fed with from the moment you learn to sit up straight and get a TV in front of you.

Our great demise as humanity is living as Mind Systems instead of Physical beings of flesh and bones that care for each other as a one and equal organism. We’re living in the consequential outflow of an entire existential process of having existed as Energy-based beings instead of standing equal and one to life as who we really are.  This all may sound weird to you at first, but when you understand the following equation as our absolute mistake and misconception of equating life = experiencing positive/ negative energetic experiences, only looking after our Own Mind and our Own Benefit, disregarding the fact that such experience is only a mind-generated energetic fix and that in No Way contributes to an actual understanding of life-living, you can clearly see that we’ve fallen in the greatest trap of it all: equating life to energy, getting virtually addicted to energetic ‘positive experiences’ while the world falls apart where we simply continue shooting up the next happy pill, roll the next joint, pop in the next Prozac and pretend that everything is just fine.

 

There can be no more self interest lasting for long on Earth, we’ll have to work together anyways. I will continue to give a more personal experience on this process along with the tools of SELF Support to walk out of your beliefs of having to be ‘happy’ or else, you are Ill and Mentally Instable or having some form of ‘chemical imbalance of the neurotransmitters in the brain’  which is each psychiatrist’s punch line when you know next thing you’ll be handed a list of new ‘friends’ – read drugs – that will ‘help you out to cope with reality’ – never even bothering to warn you about it all being just another list of drugs that are sold in the street with non-marketing names. That’s what ‘finding god’ has been reduced to, there you go.

You decide whether you want to Live or Die.

I decided and also say the end of film cliché: Choose Life

 

— more to follow tomorrow

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221. Insanity as a Fear turned into Fascination

Continuing with: 220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

First point: How did I come to link Drug Culture with Mad people as a point of fascination?

– Personal Story/ Characterization of the Black Sheep/Crazy person that supports Crazy People:

By Fascination I mean something that intrigues you, something that you cannot be certain of but containing ‘something’ that is mostly not broadly understood, acceptable, comprehensible, normal and having no ‘cure’ for it. And all of this formed part of all the various mysteries that I would always be fascinated to talk about, which is like a generational thing: all things occult, paranormal, mysterious, extraterrestrial, inexplicable events, myths and whatever it is that would cause me a point of Fascination as an energetic experience that I can describe as Adrenaline.  Where does adrenaline come from? Fear.

Yesterday I wrote that I didn’t quite know where this fascination comes from, so I got a perspective on how it was simply a point of Fear that I had turned into a fascination. I definitely see the point as there was an energetic movement that I realized I had to walk through first in order to be able to tell the story, walk the Self Forgiveness without holding onto the Experience that I imprinted on all these memories. Even the drawing I placed on yesterday’s post indicated the way to follow up: I fear going insane – which is a real thought in my mind that has existed at times and I bet that all human beings have had this thought at some point in their lives. To me such fear indicated how the moment I could not make sense of insanity, I turned it into a fascination, which is a very simple polarity mechanism of the mind to turn love into hate and vice versa, all for the sake of creating a relationship of conflict toward something/ someone. That insanity became what I realized would be linked to a sense of freedom – e.g. when I was a kid and ‘act all crazy’ and how I would have fun for causing a shock to my family, I mean this was quite a common way for me to behave, lol, and it was all because of the energetic experience. 

It was exactly a month ago that I began gathering information about this topic and so I got several points listed related to insanity/ drugs as a point of self definition. Therefore, this will be quite a ride since I can see a lot of the personality I had become was linked to this and may still be seeping through at times.

 

Hence this entire topic will be divided in two: Insanity and Drug Culture.

– I begin with insanity and my childhood years.

When I was a child, I would go into extreme temper tantrums, I’ve explained this before when talking about anger, getting possessed to the point wherein I would vibrate my whole body and I absolutely get till this day this chilling sensation on the left arm when recalling the energy and pain in the back of my head, occipital point right side. So, what comes up to mind is that when I would possess myself within these tantrums, I would mostly end up being alone in what was then my parent’s room and my mother would come in and be all angry at me for being throwing a tantrum,  I remember her eyes being absolutely wide open and then saying something along the lines of me being really crazy for being possessed with such anger/ in such tantrum. So, this word was connected to this shock that I would put myself into within this anger possession and her calling me crazy would only fuel this entire possession like a spiteful mode of ‘Oh you’re calling me crazy eh? well here we go, I’ll get as crazy as I can’ and so end up really just crying my heart out and feeling my body just go into this absolute energetic possession wherein I would feel every single part of my body going into a frenzy, anger in the utmost expression’ – I would only take this to a certain point because: I feared dying. Yes, I feared that my heart would stop and I would get a heart attack for tensing up my body that much, so I would only calm myself down out of guilt for what I realized I was doing to my body, I could feel what a draining experience it was for it and so I would stop out of regret, shame and feeling overall miserable and sad toward myself and ‘asking forgiveness’ to my body at the end, regretting the whole act, but not learning from it as I would then repeat the same some other times…  I would be alone when all of this would happen since my mother or father would mostly close the door after themselves whenever I was in such a state of possession. All of this I’m pretty sure would happen when I was 5, 6 or 7.  And this is as far as I can see I linked insanity with fear due to my anger possessions.

Later on whenever we would see ‘crazy people’ like vagrants on the street, my mother would take me by the hand and walk across the street or deliberately change our path/way to not go directly past the ‘crazy person.’ She was afraid of them and so I obviously picked up the fear toward them, ending up fearing being called crazy person, like them  – initially – which later on turned into the opposite point.

 

Another aspect is how whenever I would be exalted/ angry for any little thing in my world – listen to the short fused life review to listen to what I would mostly go through my life – my mother would have this joking-way of dealing with me and so she would start patting my back, caressing my back but she said something about such movement been done to ‘calm crazy people when going through an attack’ – and so I would then dislike her doing that because of her then doing it within the starting point of calling me ‘crazy’ and as such, being considered a ‘crazy person’ which I feared/ disliked. I took it absolutely personal and too serious so I would react to her in further anger whenever she tried to touch me again when I was angry.

The same situation would happen with my father, whenever he was absolutely angry and my mother would try and calm him down. What happens in this situation is that one is so possessed with anger that someone kind of making fun of your experience or ‘not taking it seriously’ = not ‘buying’ and in a way not supporting the mind’s tantrum, only fueled the anger because us in the mind is like ‘come on you have to get all fearful because I am Angry!’ – just like demons instigating deliberate fear around the people that are in the presence of a demon possession, which is what I’ve learned from the recent interviews by MyKey Demons in the Afterlife.  So, I essentially would do the same he did until my mother would not handle it and end up reacting in anger as well.  And so I would exacerbate the anger even further, until I would decide that I had been angry enough time for the day.

 

And so this ‘crazy’ person point became a relationship within myself toward my mother mostly wherein I would later on try and prove that I was ‘in fact’ crazy for liking, saying, doing the things I would do, which weren’t real shocking but always containing some form of instigation toward a reaction, as I would feed off from her reactions toward my actions, way of behaving, doing, living, preferences, etc. just the deliberate process of creating a point of conflict within her wherein I would get a kick out of ‘not following her ways’ and becoming that which I thought she feared me becoming.

Now things have changed obviously as I’ve walked my process and realized more and more how my relationship toward here was based on this antagonism to create a point of conflict within her and myself. Till this day she calls me loca as a nickname, which is only a remnant of everything that I lived out in order to seem outrageous for her/ my family, which is why I then went into finding out more about everything that was feared as insanity and drug addicts mostly. So, I essentially created a ‘fascination’ for some of the key aspects that I would hear my parents fearing: insanity and drug addicts as mentally instable people, as some sort of scum of society.

There you go, my antagonist/ rebellious character then formed according to creating a likeness/ being fascinated with that which was feared, being curious about that which you cannot understand, that which is not openly talked about – at least not at home or in y immediate environment – which were insanity and later on drugs.

 

This will continue.

 

Self Forgiveness on the First aspect of this entire point which is Insanity/ Craziness.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear going crazy when I was a child due to how I learned that insanity was something to be feared and that I could in fact end up being sent to a mental hospital, which would exist as a joke within my family of ‘dropping me at El Batán’ which became like similar to threatening me with the boogie man.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react in absolute fear literal petrification that one time that I was taking pictures around the pyramid in Cholula, and the mental hospital is right behind, and so as I was walking around, I heard a woman screaming ‘Let me out! Let me Out” and so her screams became this chilling experience of absolute fear within me, wherein I realized that I actually feared ever being in such a place that I had only ‘idealized’ from what one read in books or watches in movies.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to experience powerlessness toward ‘insane people,’ while feeling sorry for them being ‘locked up’ and at the same time fearing me being in such a place ever in my life.

 

I realize that I understand now why such type of absolute actual crazy people – not self-made crazy people, which is another story – were actually system-integration errors within the physical body, wherein the mind would not develop appropriately, leading to a physical development as ‘usual’ but the mind creating a point of instability/ malfunction leading to mental impairment or insanity – For further support to understand this which was actually a cool explanation to make sense of people with mental problems Life Review – A Child’s Mind in an Adult Body.

 

 

DSC00478_001
View from standing outside ‘El Batán’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to keep this picture as ‘special’ because it was taken right after I heard that woman screaming ‘let me out’ and imprinting it as an entire memory that I recall as  a point of fear but at the same time linked to the entire emotional aspect that I had lived out within myself toward gloomy-looking trees and sunsets, making it a ‘perfect memory’ of fear, enjoyment and whatnot as a Mindfuckism example of that which I accepted and allowed myself to be defined by.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was in fact ‘fascinated’ with insanity and/or drugs, without realizing how it was only me creating a relationship of likeness/ preference/ desire toward that which I feared and learned to fear through the memories of my childhood and the reactions I would pick up on people as in fearing insane people, drug addicts and within that, not getting any further information as to ‘why’ they were crazy or why they would take drugs in the first place.

 

When and as I see myself believing that I am fascinated and curious by that which points out insanity or drug addictions, the inexplicable human behavior – I stop and I breathe – I realize that any point that I create a fascination toward is just a relationship of fear that I have built up based on knowledge and information and as such, I direct myself to breathe and equalize myself to that which I have built a ‘fascination’ toward, ensuring I stop all participation in any form of energetic experience that I have deemed as fascination –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link ‘fascination’ to an energetic experience of extensive fear as adrenaline, as something that ‘I like’ which is not Me really liking such energetic experience as something ‘positive’ but it is who I am as the mind creating a relationship of fascination toward that which I could not understand and was feared instead. Which is how I developed later on fascinations toward the occult, mysteries, ghosts, spiritualism, dead people, and everything that would be usually ‘feared’ due to being labeled ‘insane’ or ‘abnormal’ and defining myself as ‘liking’ that which was not broadly acceptable.

 

When and as I see myself creating an energetic experience of adrenaline when participating with something/someone that I have considered as insane, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is me morphing the fear into a fascination thus I stop participating in fear and instead, equalize myself to the physicality of the moment here as breath to ensure I remain here as breath when interacting, reading, hearing, watching anything related to insanity.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that there was something ‘special’ in crazy people wherein I then thought that being crazy was an equivalent to being ‘sane’ in this mad world – crazy people being ‘more free’ and expressive from anything that was implanted as a point to be feared or not done in our society, which is how I would veer toward ‘craziness’ as only a desire to become that in a very moderated way, simply because of knowing that my parents feared crazy people and that crazy people were mostly relegated from society – and as such, me wanting to be ‘special’ in a way for being crazy as a form of positive experience and self definition in he mind.

 

When and as I see myself believing that crazy people were special in a way due to not abiding to the social norms and rules and as such, being ‘out of the programming’ in one way or another – I stop and I breathe – I realize that craziness/ insanity is a word that only points out what we have all been and participated within in our day to day living in this world, and that as such there has been no sanity that we could find within ourselves as humanity as a whole yet.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define people as ‘crazy’ based on what the medical societies would define a person was, which then became a pejorative word to call a person that would be dealing with any form of mental instability.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create my fascinations based on that which I knew would bother my mother, father and family in general, wherein I then veered to become the opposite of everything that I assessed they were ‘all about,’ and this being the beginning of me as the opposition/ rebellious/ antagonistic character that I later on became fascinated with as a point of energetic experience due to how I would identify with people that were insane or the fascination toward drugs as a sense of ‘freedom’ – hence linking ‘freedom’ to insanity/ drug cultures as everything that would be opposed to what I learned was prohibited, unspoken at home which was then ‘restriction/ fear’ linked to insanity and drug cultures among other perverse state of minds that were a taboo within society.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately want to ‘act crazy’ to instigate a point of friction and conflict within my mother, wanting to create some form of distress within her just for the sake of having the power to do so.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately shape, mold and create a personality based on everything which I thought and believed my mother would fear me liking/ becoming, in essence becoming everything that I knew would piss her off, just because ‘I could’ and just because I wanted to instill a point of conflict in her life as the actual evil point that exists within/ as myself as the mind that seeks conflict and friction to survive.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to want to blame my mother for all the fears that I acquired through her, not realizing that I was the one that accepted and allowed such fears to become part of my self definition, and that I continued acting upon them, later on using them as a way to become that which she feared as a point of ‘power’ over her, because of knowing that I could instigate fear within her for being/ becoming or liking things that she mostly would fear or reject. Again, this within the principle of me as the mind only seeking friction and conflict to be able to continue existing as the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to grow up believing that I could understand what an insane people would feel like.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience ‘fascination’ toward the pictures that I saw – not long ago- in an exhibition of a public photography archive of La Castañeda, which was the most ‘famous’ mental hospital here in Mexico City, and these pictures were taken around the 50’s and creating an energetic experience while watching them of fear/ fascination as well as sadness and condescendence while watching these pictures of the people, the place and their drawings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could deal with insane people easily just because of me apparently being able to ‘understand’ them, which is only me wanting to get close to that which I remember I had to fear/ stay away from while growing up in my family. Therefore

When and as I see myself believing that I am able to understand insane people – I stop and I breathe – I realize that ‘insane people’ can only exist as a definition of people in my mind according to a particular character that people have deliberately become in/as the mind, which is Not who the real being is – thus I ensure that I equalize myself to who and what the being really is in order to not look at the character they are representing and creating a point of empathy Toward the Character, but instead, assist and support myself to bring out/ equalize myself to the Being that is real, that is physically here as an equal. Within this also ensuring that I stop any form of condescendence as a projected victimization toward people that are being considered ‘insane’ nowadays, and believing that they require a ‘hand’ – not realizing that  as long as such beings are not directly deciding for themselves to support themselves first and foremost, I cannot possibly play the savior toward ‘them.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word ‘crazy/ loco’ with a pejorative way to call a person as well as a flattering word to be called as, wherein I had linked first ‘crazy/ loco’ with a reaction of fear that later on turned into a fascination, hence accepting and allowing myself to feel almost ‘flattered’ whenever my mother calls me ‘loca’ which means crazy woman, which is obviously only a nickname that I realize I had reacted to in a positive manner due to how I had defined crazy people as Free from the social conditioning that we are all a part of,  within this

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of ‘joy’ toward the deliberately/jokingly exaggerated automated actions that my father would do whenever he’s in a rush and doing things and getting everything ‘done’ as fast as he can, wherein he tends to act a bit aloof and ‘crazy’ which is an aspect I created a fondness toward, like saying ‘hey look that’s where I got it from’  – which is just a point of getting attention for behaving in a particular aloof manner, as a ‘joke’ or humoristic way of being.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a point of identification with my father for his ‘crazy ideas’ lol and as such believing that ‘I knew what  he would go through’ whenever my mother would bring him ‘back to Earth’ and I would take such action as a repression/ suppression, which was at times so – lol – but I then used it as a way to ‘team up’ against my mother and developing an entire personality that I have walked sufficiently on a mind construct which is now pretty clear how the fear/ antagonism toward my mother also carries the words ‘crazy’ as a relationship formed of me presenting traits that my father had, wherein I saw how she would react the same way toward me when I presented myself/ spoke in a ‘crazy way’ just to get a kick out of her reacting to our craziness.

 

Lol I remember when riding in the car and talking about aliens/ UFO’s and my father saying that he wanted to be alien abducted and how I would say ‘yes! yes! me too!’ and my father would continue rambling about that and saying how we would both go there and live with extraterrestrial beings etc. etc. and my mother would only say and repeat ‘you are both Really crazy’ and how we would fuel that point of friction and conflict more and more.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ‘insanity’ as a fear instilling process toward my mother and any other person on the street whenever I want to create a point of conflict/ friction within them, and as such, deliberately doing acts wherein I would get a energetic kick out of doing that which was not ‘normal’ or that I considered wasn’t normal at the eyes of others, hence getting an experience out of ‘transcending’ my own fears toward insanity in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to copy my father’s mechanism of presenting himself as overtly ‘honest’ at times as a means to instigate a point of friction and conflict within my mother, wherein he would exaggerate things to blow them out of proportion so that my mother would react in a restrictive manner toward his behavior and hearing her say ‘(name of father’ you are really crazy’ – lol – and from there forming this condescending experience toward my father like ‘I know what you FEEL like, I’ve been there myself’ – not realizing that I am simply representing the exact same patterns he’s had throughout his life in both anger and a bit of aloofness which I had created as a mix of, precisely, fear and fascination in my mind like a fondness toward him due to what I would also experience within myself as what I perceived was similar to His experience.

 

When and as I see myself being fond of my father’s aloofness and tantrums, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this fondness that I have created toward him can only exist if I continue to see him only as that ‘craziness’ pattern that I became fond of due to standing as a point of friction and conflict that we could inflict within my mother and as such, creating an entire character about this particular experience of retaliating toward my mother due to the inherent friction and conflict I experienced toward her as ‘my mother’ and the corrective-person toward all my personal ‘treats’ that would give me an energetic kick, which was everything that she would judge and ‘go against’ throughout my life, not realizing that all those choices I made were essentially part of the character that I became to oppose everything she would see as acceptable, just to create and perpetuate a point of conflict within me/ my life and hers and call this ‘freedom/ rebelling against oppression’.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold this belief that my father would act aloof/ crazy as a deliberate way to instigate attention and conflict within others, which is nothing else but becoming a character in order to get some attention from others as a point of specialness/ outrageousness which is mostly considered as plain ‘crazy’ or ‘abnormal,’ which I equated to ‘freedom’ and ‘expression.’ From here creating the whole idea that I was a crazy person because I would not want to abide to social norms and I wanted to deliberately instigate a point of shock within people whenever I could as a way to gain attention, recognition, specialness, uniqueness, the ideal ‘free being’ type of expression which was all linked to this entire construct of initially having feared insanity, then using it as a way to instigate conflict in others which would give me an energetic experience in the mind that would confirm: I am a crazy person/ I am abnormal/ I am special/ I am misunderstood/ I do not fear breaking the rules – and all this ‘antagonist/ rebellious/ black sheep’ character that I became throughout my life in my family and environment in a very moderate way, but very ‘ingrained’ as ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic experience of adrenaline whenever I would do something that was deliberately ‘outrageous’ just for the sake of triggering a reaction within Others – which points out how if I had no people around me to instill a reaction within, I would have mostly not played out these characters at all as there is no point in acting like that whenever I am alone – hence realizing that everything that I created of myself as a ‘crazy character’ was just a way to get attention, be opposed, step out of the rules, be perceived as free and expressive and mostly instigate a point of conflict within my mother.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having desired to keep this specific way of being that can be labeled as ‘crazy’ and a bit autistic at times when being alone or walking through the streets whenever I want to protect myself from any potential threat – due to being alone/ walking alone – and present myself in a particular way wherein I expect people to believe that I am crazy and that I am ‘not worthy’ of assaulting or robbing as in me being deranged or possibly dangerous toward them.

When and as I see myself going through the streets and wanting to deliberately present a physical expression of being a bit crazy or deranged with certain attitudes like looking at the wall or moving my hands or walking too fast or looking ‘aloof’ in order to protect myself, I stop and I breathe – I realize that these attitudes are stemming from fear – and as such, I direct myself to act, be here and walk as breath without participating in any point in my mind wherein a point of perceived threat is activated when and while walking.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to not deliberately brush my hair when I had hair as a way to denote ‘look, I am crazy, do not get close’ lol – which became part of the entire eccentric personality later on linked to the artistic character that I’ve also walked within this process.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever look at ‘crazy people’ or even autistic people with a certain ‘fascination’ and trying to understand them/ support them somehow which was an entire experience of fear turned into adrenaline whenever this happened, which I equated as fascination, becoming only a mind fixation of sorts due to the fear that I actually experienced toward them and transforming that fear into a fascination which in no way is it in fact assisting and supporting myself and others to step out of our fears, prejudices and definitions toward one another as physical human beings and within this, supporting  ourselves to stop existing only as characters that we’ve become in the mind, and instead focus on supporting one another to become physical living beings.

 

I realize that all of this is knowledge and information that served only a single purpose: to limit myself within a particular energetic relationship and experience as the mind, instead of equalizing myself as the physicality that we all are as human beings. Thus

 

I commit myself to stop all self-definitions as an energetic imprint within me linked to insanity/ craziness/ aloofness that I have linked to a point of freedom and apparent ‘fascination’ within the understanding that it all stemmed out of fear and familial relationships linked to reactions in the mind. Thus, I equalize myself as the physical here wherein no definitions can exist as ‘who I am’ or ‘what I like’ – but simply assisting and supporting myself to be and become the actual living-being that I am and that stops energetic experiences toward words, pictures and memories that are related to the ‘insanity’-fascination character.

 

I commit myself to continue debunking this point of insanity as fear as a point of apparent ‘fascination’ as only one of the aspects that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become as a character in the mind, which is nothing else but an energetic self-definition that only feeds the entire personality of ‘who I am’ as the mind. Thus, I walk this process in order to stop any form of ‘minute’ experiences that I have linked to this particular character of insanity-fascination and support myself to equalize myself as breath, as the physical that I am in reality.

 

In the Equal Money System there will be education based on understanding how the mind functions, in order to be able to direct and educate all beings to correct any predisposition to veer toward the acting out of the mind instead of the physicality. The patterns will be able to be corrected as a physical process with specific support and assistance to also deal with anyone that may present any form of mental instability that could represent an actual threat to the community/ society.

 

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From the Book: 

Equal Money – Future of Money – Volume 1

 

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216. Information as Warfare–But do we even Understand Who and What We Are?

Self Realization without understanding how we came to be what we see and witness on a daily basis as ourselves and our reality is virtually impossible. This is what I have assessed more so than ever this year that all the information, the actual detail of who we are, how we function and exist at an individual and existential level, our origins, the ‘why’ of virtually anything that I had asked myself and pondered about throughout my lifespan, has been explained to the T in all the information presented/ provided by Desteni through Eqafe and the blogs Heaven’s Journey to Life and Creation’s Journey to Life  read from day 1. I point out these two as they are the key to understand the human mind within the consideration of the existential perspective that we had never gotten to know/ understand before in our entire human history.

 

This is how, I can see, realize and understand that whatever I took as knowledge in order to form a personality was mostly out of accepting ‘Fear’ as a way to exist in this world. I realize that even my personalities of being ‘opinionated’ and ‘revolutionary’ were stemming simply because of an actual ignorance, sense of powerlessness and neglect to my own participation within this reality – and as such, I took words, knowledge and information as ‘truths’ that I could use only to create another way to be ‘safe’ within my confinement of the actual support I was and still have through money, without understanding what the actual ways of change imply, what the actual Revolution as an overall change in this world, humanity and existence as a whole imply.

It is thus quite a revelation to me how looking back at this desire to change and be a ‘revolutionary person’ was still only a preprogrammed part of myself as a personality design that would upgrade through further desires to change the system, having No Clue of the causes and inner workings of such systems, because I had No Clue of myself as a body, as a mind as an individual being in this world. This Must place into perspective how easily we affiliate, adopt ideas, perspectives, beliefs of something that ‘sounds nice’ according to what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be programmed/ indoctrinated with from the knowledge, information, images that are stemming from the same/our very own environment that is constructed/ built/ upgraded and managed within the same blueprints of the same system that we sought to overcome, – see the paradox and absurdity within this – that we somehow wanted to change or ‘make more just’ without having an actual understanding of  even our own mind, which must be already a Great Warning and Alert to anyone currently promoting any form of activism, opposition as we’re seeing in this world at the moment with all he protests, occupy wall street, wars, mind possessions that will go haywire if we don’t stop to take the moment to understand what the Hell is going on in this world as the result of our very own nature as humanity and existence – and also to see and realize that there is certainly a solution, yes, because we created and are the problem in the first place. However, as Bernard Poolman was saying today:

“do not support things just because you like it—test it for real and equate it to a lifetime – will it work for all as best for a lifetime—to do it just for a week –no good –live it for real – there is no easy solutions to the world problems”

There is No Easy Solutions to the World Problems indeed, as we are the end-point of the consequence that we’ve accepted and allowed to manifest and compound throughout time, and this is only taking into consideration the beginning of Human Civilization – later on I’ll explain a bit of what we must regard and consider when looking at our current world Problems.

 

The Revolutionary Character:

 

Self Forgiveness, Commitment and Realizations upon accepting and allowing information, developing an entire ‘opposition character’ / Revolutionary Character through it without having an actual Understanding of why I was doing so and how I was only following a desire to Understand/ Know about reality outside of myself, never having had the ability to understand reality as myself, until now.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold an opinion/ belief and idea of reality based on what I read, what I watch, what I hear and hold it as ‘truth’ that I then hold as part of ‘how I see the world,’ without ever having questioned what was the actuality of the evens, who was getting the most benefits from such anti-communist propaganda, why was it being feared and stopped at all cost?  Which is now very clear how it was not even about communism in itself but it was a propaganda against anything that could consider a more just and egalitarian society, without having understood the level of mind control that exist not only within governmental and socio-economic models, but at the level of the individual as the mind that has been the actual dictator for us to create world-systems and new ways to continue seeking after only self-interest and Never regard each one of us as one and equal. I realize that the reality of what we have become as the mind is the actual creator of all of the current world events that we are witnessing, since it takes a massive process of identification with one particular group of people/ political affiliation/ nation/ culture in order to create an opposition toward another for not communing with the same ‘views’ which are always based on personal/group preferences, destined to create problems if such interests oppose the persona/ group interests of others and as such, we have conflict and further warfare that stems from the individual in itself and then onto reality as a hole

 

I commit myself to expose how it is vital for all of us human beings to understand the inner workings of ourselves, as our own physical body in relation to the mind, to understand the actual extent of the problem that has always been here as our very nature and that it won’t just go away nor with communism, nor with capitalism and it is only with the Equal Money System that we can get to a position of learning how to support each other as equals, to provide a certainty to be able to survive physically – BUT it won’t end there. The actual change of humanity and the world system inevitably and invariably begins at an individual level. This is of utmost importance to understand the forces that we are dealing with Within our very own mind as individuals, which is and has been the actual creator of this world system in order to continue satisfying a mind-system that feeds off of the actual physical substance in order to survive – and that this very mechanism is the actual source and key to understand all conflicts between Equals, all deliberate neglect to one another, all deliberate separation in order for consciousness as our mind as a system to Win at all times, because it can only thrive in separation, in conflict, in constant and continuous friction that begins within ourselves as our own mind as thoughts, feelings and emotions that We are responsible for, as the nature of Consciousness is not ‘alien’ to us, it is who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. It is our Mirror in fact that we have to Understand first in order to correct the problem from its root

 

Within this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to generate more inner conflict within myself when seeing wars and learning about what was happening in the world within ‘conflictive zones’ in ex USSR and Middle East generally, wherein as a child or a young person, I had no further explanation, I had no ‘political specialists’ to explain to me and within this, because of not having an explanation, generate a desire To KNOW how the world works based only on information that I would get from the TV or the occasional talks with my uncle and aunt that were more informed or at school – yet even that, was always within the confinement of what we as human beings understood/ were able to explain as ‘world events’ and mechanism of the world, without having a clue of the Actual Reality that was going behind the scenes of what we can say is only the tip of the iceberg as the consequential outflows of an existential situation that we are facing currently as our reality.

 

This is how within Desteni, the first step is Understanding who we are as the mind as it is absolutely impossible to get to see what we have Created, Manifested and Externalized as our world-system, without understanding the inner workings of the mind, of our very cells and atoms and their own relationships formed between energy and substance and Understanding the very relationship that exist between Substance and Energy in itself, as it is really, almost impossible to make sense of this world and our current consequences that we are All living and experiencing, without understanding Reality as a Whole

Within this, I commit myself to Expose how the material at Eqafe must not be understood as something that we promote for any form of ‘personal benefit’ – it is the actual Education Required in this world that must be promoted by all means as part of our understanding of the Responsibility we hold toward ourselves and each other; it is the Actuality of what is going on in this world and the material in itself should be regarded as Basic Human Information that All beings will have to eventually be educated with, as it represents the Key to Understand ourselves, reality as a whole and be able to Within this understanding, create and establish solutions that Do Consider the limitations, the problems we face and test it out as a sustainable option for a solution that Always leads to a Best for All Outcome.

 

I have explained throughout my process how I considered myself to be a ‘sensitive person’ and be ‘easily affected’ by what I would see on TV and my reality (I suggest you watch:  2012: Overwhelmed with Tears by Media – YouTube for further support by Sunette Spies )  and so, it was only when obviously getting to Desteni that the world began making sense, but I can say with full absolute certainty that it was only this year that I got to understand Reality and make sense of myself, this world, this process, the entire ‘Whys’ that I had never gotten answers to within this reality. This meaning that I sought within knowledge and information in history, in philosophy, religions, occultism, Gnosticism, alchemy, astrology, Buddhism, you name it and Nothing was giving me answers to my world – the news on the paper didn’t give answers either obviously, as all of that was only the Outflow of our reality that is generated from our individual ways in which we function an exist. So, it was only through reading Heaven’s Journey to Life that it all clicked, it all made sense and I was relieved within Understanding. This is how and why we share this information, we share our process because it is Not necessary to suffer for not knowing about ourselves, life, reality, existence, ‘the end of the world’ or anything else that might only occupy our minds without resolution. Desteni, Eqafe are the key to understanding reality and Stop being a victim of knowledge and information that as I’ve explained throughout these blogs, lead me to become an ‘opinionated person’ but from the starting point of only regurgitating ideas and beliefs that I had in no way tested out/ verified or further investigated myself, which is How I can see we exist as humanity: we create these blindfolds upon knowledge and information that has been designed to Fear anything that is actually veering toward a common sensical perspective upon reality.

 

It is quite fascinating how everything that tormented me, that worried me and that I had accepted and allowed myself to see as an unfathomable mystery that I was probably never going to understand until ‘I die’ have become now part of my reality as what I understand of myself and this world, and the clarity and stability that we are able to give to ourselves through Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty in relation to what we are witnessing within this world, is a life changing situation. We certainly do not have to die to understand and see ‘the bigger picture’ of what is going on in reality – the understanding, the tools to support ourselves are here and within this, all existential woes  are able to be Self-Forgiven and Self-Corrected through our practical understanding of what it is that we have to focus on day to day, breath by breath, as I see and realize that all the time spent in uncertainty was simply based on my desire to KNOW but never see my actual Participation within it.

 

It is vital to understand who we are and what we have become as the Mind/ Consciousness as a System upon the physical body and our beingness within this all in order to make sense of our reality. Otherwise, I see that it is quite a point that can drive oneself crazy if we do not grasp the forces that we are dealing with as our own ‘enemy’ which is ourselves at all times. Because Everything that is here is ourselves. And as such, there are no ‘counteracts’ but simply  a process of separation from oneself that we accepted and allowed from the very beginning of our existence.

 

Now, this is how when looking at the world system, it is not only to look at the pictures and outflows within the context Only of human history – it is to understand the process from an existential perspective – and this is what we as human beings had Never considered until now, and this is how I cannot emphasize more the importance and relevance of the material that’s being presented in Eqafe as part of the Desteni Corpus of Investigation upon Reality at an Interdimensional Level for over 6 years now – which is the key to Realize that there is a lot more to this reality than what the Eye of the Mind meets – and this is and will be an Educational Process that we will All have to go through as part of our very basic Self-Understanding upon creation.

 

I realize that the real revolution won’t happen in any mainstream media type of reality, because what Desteni and Equal Money System represent is far more extreme than any concept of what Capitalism or Communism or Socialism implies, as non of the above considered the necessity of understanding the Human Mind as the basic platform to establish a world system that is able and capable of catering a platform of self support to Correct the nature of mankind to stop Acting only as an individual-self-interested system that only seeks after its own benefit and instead, Learn how to Use the Mind as a Tool to Support each other as One. This means that any system reform that is being envisioned/ proposed in our reality Must contain/ have an absolute holistic understanding of reality of us human beings, of our process of relationship formation within this system that we call ‘World-System,’ our relationship with all the other species of beings that are equally here, of the factors that are dependent on our very participation in our own mind in order to create a Solution that Contains the necessary platforms of Support to correct, align and design a New Human Being that must be created, that must be Engineered within the basic understanding of reality as a physical system instead of being indoctrinated with further values, words, pictures, ideas, concepts, emotional and feeling imprints that we are still currently educating children with, essentially maiming their ability to stand as physical beings due to immediately imposing our ‘old ways’ of how we have existed until now: mind drones that serve only self interest without even knowing or understanding where or how does that Self-Interest and that desire to get the most/ be greater that everyone else is actually stemming from and implying within ourselves as mind systems within a physical body.

 

How can we follow through to support or oppose a world system, a particular regime, a particular religion or political affiliation, cultural tradition, educational perspective if everything of this world has been based upon knowledge and information destined to perpetuate exactly the same system as is – essentially becoming our own Self-Brainwashing to only perpetuate the division of humanity by knowledge and information?

 

And when one understands the absurdity of our inner friction and conflict, it is hard not to laugh at what we have done to ourselves, but at the same time want to cry for what we’ve done in the name of our own inner-friction and conflict translated into what we are witnessing today as potential wars and further world-system fallout projections. The truth of what we’ve done and become is already here as our world and reality, and understanding the ‘why’ of it all is the basic point that is a Human Responsibility actually as it is only through understanding that any attempt to blame and point fingers at a god or creator or system or government or whatever is simply impossible to do if one is Self Honest enough.

 

I see realize and understand that the current outflow and consequence will take time to correct and align as it’s taking us quite a long time to get ourselves to the current stage we’re in. Thus, I allow myself to contribute to this process of Education as part of who I am as I realize that the change won’t come from an outside force that will solve it all, but each one of us that educate ourselves and are able to be the example of what understanding and Acting upon understanding implies, always veering and directing it toward a best for all outcome in Equality as Life.

 

– This will continue

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process – Free Course

Equal Money System

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Relevant Links to Educate yourself and Stop being only part of the ones that ‘Revolt’ against the world without having a single clue of even how your mind operates.

 

To take the first steps in understanding this Process of Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Application within the understanding of who we are as the Mind:

 

To Understand the beginning of Existence – nothing more and nothing less:

 

To Understand the preparation of what came to be Humanity explained by the creators and the main contributors to what has become our reality:

 

To Understand the Existential Enslavement perpetrated by the Creators of the Human Being and its direct consequence to how our world system operates and who we are within it in our current reality with direct influence on who we are and have become as the mind:

 

Understanding of the World System and the Individual Participation of Who we are as the mind and physical body within it as well as practical solutions to be implemented within our reality:

 

To Understand the Mind and Learning from other beings’ patterns in order to take responsibility for what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become:

 

Understanding the Force that Creates Life – from enslavement within an energetic system to a physical equal and one self-expression to birth ourselves as Life in the Physical:

 

 

Blogs:

Vlogs:

2012 Existential Woes: Stop and Know Yourself – YouTube

215. Red Fears = Capitalist Propaganda

 

Communism as Fear Label.

I grew up with the belief that people were leaving the USSR because communism lead to poverty – little did I know that it was not because of Communism in itself, but a failure within the Attempt to establish Communism as an actual living of what Marx envisioned. As Cerise Poolman puts it:

“people already cry out “communism” when they hear about it [Equal Money System] – not even realizing that everything we think we know about communism is the distorted image that the power-countries want us to believe. Maybe this is then a good indication that we are on the right track?” 

Day 213: War, It Isn’t Good For Absolutely Nothing

 

Hence as a child and knowing this ‘friend of my mother coming from Russia because of communism’ instilled the belief within me that Communism leads to poverty and as such, growing under the influence of my parents who also adopted such belief – of course I don’t blame anyone here, this is just how things developed and here I am taking responsibility to see where and how I have conditioned myself to create an entire opinion and perspective based on what I’ve heard-  yes, without any further investigation or background to it. 

 

Continuation of the Elitist Character:

The Revolutionary Character:

 

As I mentioned in the post 212. Opposing the System= Act of Ignorance the word ‘Communist’ became a pejorative term that could lead people to be tagged by the government and even be jailed-  once again, little did I know the context of such situations and the actual course of events that developed.

I realized later on how ‘in the back of my head’ which means an entire opinion-personality existed toward communism, wherein the word ‘revolutionary’ is inherently linked in my mind to some paintings,  general icons in relation to communism etc. So the point to Self Forgive here is the brainwashing in itself, wherein I took information ‘as it came’ without further investigation – and only when having people linking Equal Money System to communism realizing that we  were onto having some major resistances from what I had witnessed throughout my life, wherein communism was spoken in a similar fashion to talking about the devil or the scum of the Earth, ‘revolutionary’ became another key word linked to rebellion, which  I then took proudly as a tag I wanted to wear myself within a personal vendetta against ‘family patterns’ that I’ve discussed throughout my entire process. We’ve lost all ability to discern information and actually not take things at ‘word value,’ but investigate, research and create our own conclusions and even more so, suit it to our own personal vendettas. I even recall quite clearly how I would get an ‘upliftment’ when I was called this way by my parents.

 

It is certainly now easier to have access to information, 20 years ago I had no access or even interest in what I do  now. I remember going to this explanation of the communism in Venezuela which I shared here: Socialism in the 21st century? and how it was painted as something absolutely nice and pretty by this German sociologist that I met. Later on I realized that the man’s stance was that of ‘fucking with the system’ even in petty acts of theft, and his entire proposal was putting up a front toward the ‘academy’ while earning quite good money from his academic endeavors. He was another example of what I thought was ‘cool’ to do for a moment, even though the retaliation and vengeance toward the system by petty theft definitely seemed like obviously questionable – however, it is to remember that I was pretty much in that ‘reactive’ side of social matters, and my aim was to be ‘inspired’ by these ‘libertarians’ mostly from other countries, mostly people that have even come to Mexico as a ‘political asylum,’ because virtually you can ‘do it all’ here.

 

The Muralist movement here in Mexico was one of my greatest influences of course as that’s most of what one would have to see as a demonstration of art in the 20th century. Communism rang again and the same with Siqueiros and his communist endeavors up to the point where he became active in the Communist Party here. I knew that the muralists had gotten themselves into trouble for portraying socialist icons in murals made for Rockefeller – lol – that’s quite obvious yet courageous within the same starting point of ‘confronting’ the system and making money out of it, good money and fame out of it – hence we add more information to my communist sack: revolutionary, opposition, courageous and within that admiring mostly Siqueiros as a man with ‘great guts’ and in that, holding him as an ideal of what I wanted to be and become as well.

 

A reminder is that I am placing out here all the Knowledge and Information I acquired as the propaganda it is, meaning even these artists also got to have lots of fame, fortune and living the ‘ideal’ of an artist I envisioned early in my life. Right now my sister’s influence from the time she was a teenager popped-up, she was quite the communist act during her high school years, she even was a role model for me when I was also 8-9 years old, she was quite an opinionated person while being in a school that was funded mostly by communist/ leftist intellectuals in our city. Fascinating how I got the influence of such people through my sister and her acquired ideas at school, pretty cool since I got to know some of our ‘hidden history’ from the books she’d read and tell stories about.  This was  also seen as a threat to what the normalcy of her desires at the time should have been (she’s 10 years older than me) in terms of  people in ‘high school’ and being in our society like she did.  Later on, with her entering Jesuit Private University, any remains of communism/ socialism or social justice dwindled to the point of remaining as a washed-out version of  ‘good will’ in the background, while realizing that one cannot survive in this world while opposing the system/ idealism in essence, even though we are aware of many people that do make good money out of that, which was never our case in the family since making money out of opposing the system implied becoming an Intellectual and, people in my direct family weren’t that at all – hence my initial fears, brainwashing toward communism.

 

It is only now that we realize that communism became another version of capitalism due to its confinement and lack of understanding of actual change stemming from the monetary system. Not to mention the boogie-man Communism was also conveniently made within us ‘western societies’ –  the Movie ‘Goodbye Lenin’ also played a role in forming certain criteria around communism, another proof of how media is a powerful way to educate and misinform the masses.

Hence, it is to clarify that Equal Money System is nor capitalism, nor communism but Equality – there can be no other precedents to an Equality System throughout our history, simply because it has never existed. Period.

 

Any correspondence with the principles promoted by any other historical figure within the Communist-Fears, it is simply a point to consider with regards to what prevented such principles and considerations from being implemented, and the collective acceptance and allowance of such principles as something ‘Evil’ and ‘Bad’ when promoting the well being of all beings Equally. Isn’t then quite obvious that any detractor of anything sounding like Communism being a blatant defender of the Abuse toward Life? Communism as a word, without the historical load it contains as our knowledge and information like I’ve just poured out myself here, means ‘communal to all’ = common, it was thus envisioned as a common sense. I repeat: Envisioned as a common sensical system, it was never placed in full action and consideration of all the factors that should have been taken into consideration to actually have a real demonstration of what a functional communist country could be like to support human beings to their utmost potential. This, precisely became Idealism instead of practical realizations.

 

The world is in reverse and this means that Capitalism is by far the most well-covered up form of slavery we’ve accepted with positive-acts of ‘fulfillment’ like happiness through consuming, escalating the social ladder to get more money and call that ‘success’ instead of abuse, perpetuating political dispensations that support a system of perpetual ‘struggle to live’ wherein things like poverty have become a background aspect in all societies around the world, coming up now to the surface in a more visible way  to realize that there has been something Very Wrong about the acceptance and allowance of a Consciousness-mentality of a System that is in no way regarding Life in Equality, but only seeking to consume, destroy the most for its own engulfment of power in the hands of a few.  Listen to The Soul of Money to understand to the T what I’m saying here.

 

As above, so below: the same happened in Heaven and Hell (The Earth)

Heaven spreading fears around the Demon dimension, not wanting to even get close to them to support them and integrate them as part of the whole – but instead relegating them to some ‘outskirt’ rank in existence – just like we do with poverty and any other marginalized being in our reality, little did anyone know what their real abilities were. The same with Jesus and everyone having missed the point of his entire process on Earth to promote Life in Equality and instead, turning his words and persona into some Christian paraphernalia to sell idols as saviors instead of realizing the actual gift that he meant for human beings to realize the Equality as Life that we are, which is  what Jesus came to say. These are Crucial aspects to understand of our reality – both able to be heard in the series Demons in the Afterlife | The Crucifixion of Jesus |  And No, this has Nothing to do with the fact that you believe in a god, heaven, Jesus or hell – this is part of the configuration/ set up that we all exist as by the sheer fact of existing as a mind and a physical body merged into ‘who we are’ which is more of an accepted and allowed con that must be corrected now.

Read: Day 214: Jesus was the Greatest Threat to the Creator Gods – ADC – Part 62

 

Within this all, it is not a surprise that my initial reactions toward the Equal Money System when getting to know about it in 2008 were met with an uncanny resistance that I was not even aware of ‘where it came from’ obviously, it had become part of my programming to fear anything that threatened our current system, even if the idea sounded Great at first, there were many questions around the value of money and how it was all going to be done if we already had this nice value-system wherein I had been brainwashed to accept the fact that one can only be supported to live if you work for it, more like Struggle for it. You know? Life is Hard/ Life is Tough, waddle your way through it, push to breakthrough and maybe, only maybe, you’ll make it.

 

From here stems all these ideas that we were being ‘oppressed’ by the system, not realizing we Are the System and that any leftist-endeavor was always met with resistance because no real solutions were considered: there was no Self-Responsibility as in Individually realizing how the nature of our current Capitalist System is the exact reflection of how our mind works. Hence even if on paper communism was meant to be a ‘utopia’ on Earth, it would have mostly failed on the long run if the nature of the human would not be precisely engineered to support and sustain the communist principles, which requires understanding of how the mind works and how this reality operates within the same principles of our mind and its relationship to the physical body. These are the reasons why and  how a reform in the system cannot only be seen as a single political move to a betterment of society – it must be a holistic gradual process of Self-Change, individually, through Education that must be considered even from the moment one is pretending to conceive another life form/ child to live in this world. There is a lot of  material to study in order to understand How we came to create the current world system as the image and likeness of the relationship existent between the mind as consciousness as the ‘resident evil’ within our physical body, and what it actually implies and entails us having to walk this process within existence as a way to correct – dare I say ‘conciliate’ that inherent separation we accepted and allowed as existence. Yes, energy as the result of separation and exemplified nowadays as our monetary system and its ‘inner workings’ is the perfect physical example of what happens when the creators – not ‘gods’ but each one of us, creators and perpetrators of this current world system – disregard all beings within this world as equals and consider only Self Interest.

All of this is explained to the T in all the interviews at Eqafe – and I say All because the default ‘scenario’ for everything narrated there is our entire history that has never been told, but that has created the very consequences we are facing till this day on Earth, in our day to day living. Thus, as you can realize, it is as Relevant as can be and we cannot give further steps without individuals taking the Responsibility to Educate themselves to Understand, and upon Understanding, Acting according to the common sense realizations of how to walk through within this world to create and establish a viable solution for all.

 

Will the world hear? Are you ready to understand reality to the T and regain your actual power to no more be subdued by the constant impulse of buy-consume-happiness brainwashing that we’ve accepted and allowed Till this day on Earth.

I dare you.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become brainwashed by knowledge and information that I acquired within ‘trust’ toward the people and sources of information as ‘reliable’ without realizing that in this world, everything has been managed and controlled through knowledge and information as education and media in order to veer the population that has access to such information toward a particular outcome that will benefit those that write the history books, lay out the Education programs which is all designed to perpetuate the capitalist system as a form of acceptable slavery through values and words that represent an inherent inability to support all beings equally and placing that as a form of ‘physical law’ that I never investigated but simply took ‘as is,’ not realizing that all the knowledge and information acquired around communism, socialism and revolutions was meant to be placed as warnings, as ways to prevent any of us from actually taking action to question our own system – but instead, accept Fear of Communism/ Socialism as something that we simply had to avoid at all cost, which proves how it is through individual acceptance and allowance of information as ‘the devil’ that we shape, form and sustain our own mind control.

 

I commit myself to debunk my beliefs, accepted and allowed brainwashing around communism and revolutionary characters in order to establish a common sensical starting point within my own process of taking responsibility for what is here, so that it is no longer tainted by my personal history, by humanity’s history written in books and told by teachers/ people that were taught to teach such information in the first place – and instead, establish a common sensical practical consideration of using knowledge and information to understand how we have created our ideological apparatus and how it has been conveniently set up, not only from schools or parents, but on the streets/ the media as the general configuration that defines our reality – which is currently based on money/ capitalism –  and within this, explore the ways we can use the same mechanisms that are currently existing as a way to educate people and get to know the actual reality that has been veiled behind the symbols of power/ success/ happiness that have become the real weapons of mind control, widely accepted and allowed in any home and school with sufficient money to be active within this world as an economic force – which proves again how people that are not part of the system are not even taken into consideration when it comes to brainwashing, because they have no money to spare as a result of such brainwashing.  Shame on us, humanity. But, we are here to take Self Responsibility for all of this, until it is done.

I will continue with detailed Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application upon this on the following blogs

 

Educate yourself:

Desteni

Desteni Forum 

Desteni I Process

Desteni Lite Process

Equal Money System

 

 

Blogs:


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