Category Archives: future projection

260. Homeless Drug Addicts Sleeping in Graveyards

260 is the amount of days in the Mayan Calendar Tzolkin and it happens to be the 260th day in this Journey To Life on the last day of this Gregorian calendar year, and the sounding of Tzolkin is like sulking – hence the association of what you’ll read in this blog today. Here’s to 2012 and all the false promises and prophecies that burnt to ashes as they should, so that no more hope is left within humanity, within the ‘wait and see’ attitude, indulging in numbers, planets, calendars and prophecies that only managed to keep everyone immobile for a long time, expecting ‘something’ to happen, adjudicating our global deterioration to some major shift that was about to happen by some divine ordeal, and no that is not a paradox, but that’s what we’ve managed to be and become in this world: making sense of suffering as some time of lesson to be learned to ascend to the heavens and become real benevolent beings after trials and tribulations that we imposed on ourselves.

 

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

Well, we’ve certainly come a long way as humanity in our gullibility to anything that leads to the promised land – whether ascension, extraterrestrials saving the world, the world ending, people suddenly being enlightened with a new consciousness –  this pretty much sums up the ignorance we’ve subsumed ourselves in, may the next year be the actual time to open our eyes, because the astonishing panorama of the end-times is hitting every graveyard near you, and no, it’s not zombies or the dead finally coming alive, but rather homeless drug addicts making a very valid statement: cemeteries are a waste of terrain that could be used for proper housing to those that have clearly nowhere to live/ nowhere to take a shit, no proper activity to do – how come we can expect things to ‘get better’ in our world by simply wishing-well for a ‘happy new year’ if we are neglecting to cover the basic services to dignify the lives of all human beings? I mean, what separates you/me from being such homeless addicted person sleeping in a graveyard? Do we have an extra elite-gene that allows us to have all the ‘good things in the world’? Are they damned? Were we born from godly creatures? Certainly we are all gods and quite irresponsible ones I’d say, since all our creative forces had been directed to satisfy an abusive self interest that has lead us to believe in external forces that could ‘solve the problem’ in our world, instead of realizing that we won’t certainly get to any form of ‘change’ if we are not even aware of what our fellow living earthlings are going through in this reality, an actual torture and physical suffering that is happening all the time, we’ve just decided to entertain ourselves properly to not be aware of it.

Bleak Future? No, rather looking at the consequences we manifested – seeing it through the positive or negative eye is just a matter of perception to either feel deludedly hopeful about something/ someone solving the matters of this world or feeling all down and negative within a depressive mood that leads us to simply justify our apparent inability to take responsibility for what we’ve become. Frankly, I’m tired of being either of as it is only the same irresponsible coin dressed up in victimization or cheerfulness that hides an inherent fear to face the reality that we are manifesting here, every single day. Now that’s the real alarming situation.

 

Homeless SLEEPING inside graves at Cambridge cemetery after pushing stones off the top of tombs

 

Homeless drug users were seen pushing the stones off the top of tombs and using them as beds for the night.

Horrified passers-by spotted the disrespectful squatters sitting in the graves in Mill Road Cemetery, Cambridge, while injecting themselves and drinking.

The site has been plagued by drunkenness, littering, drug taking and reports of the homeless people defecating on the plots over recent months.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255328/Homeless-drug-users-SLEEPING-inside-graves-pushing-stones-tombs.html#ixzz2GfopCaT4

 

Who would be more disrespectful: a person that is using a graveyard as a sleeping place due to being homeless a.k.a. an absolute ‘ghost’ and ostracized bastard son in society that is not being equally supported to have a dignified living, which would mean, having an actual Home to live in and develop an actual living-expression – OR people that buy pieces of land to bury organic matter in fancy 5-thousand-dollar caskets to preserve meat for the maggots to eventually eat, disregarding the fact that such massive amount of land could be used to build houses for those that have non?

 

Does anyone stop for a moment to ponder: hmm,  but why do they turn to drugs, why are they homeless? People get high with inhaling cement and paint as well as paint-thinner here in order to mitigate the pains that starvation brings. They can’t even afford to be drunksters. I actually had a chat with a hobo-drunk man in a day like today some 6 years ago. That’s probably the moment when I broke my own taboos toward ‘homeless people’ and never speaking to them – you know, that type of thing your mother tells you to do whenever one would see them sitting on the sidewalks begging for money. Last person I saw this way was in downtown Mexico City, we were all busy going around during the day of the dead, celebrating ‘death’ while allowing our people to starve, quite paradoxical as anything in our reality. He had his skin very tight on the ribs – I walked by and simply breathed – could I solve the man’s problem right there? No.  Is he the result of our accepted and allowed world-system that decides to ‘forget’ / neglect to support all people equally? Yes. That points out how our current ways of referring ourselves to ‘hobos’ and ‘drug addicts’ as the ‘scum of society’ is a blatant nice positive way of abdicating our responsibility toward them. Have we asked them HOW they got themselves to such position? What I’ve found is hobos were people as normal as you and I that decided to give up on themselves due to living in a world system that could not ‘afford’ to support them to continue having a proper living condition, and of course, having a hobo-life means you can get drunk all day and shoot up drugs because there’s ‘nothing left to live for.’ There are other conditions like kids living in the streets that are born in the streets and never get a change to get a better life, simply because: they’ve never known any better.

 

I bet you have been in the same situation, even if it is not drugs or being absolutely drunk all day, but you do have a ‘something to live for’ as a temporary high that you have regarded and cherished as that little piece of heaven to live for, which is usually a mind experience. Why have we reduced our lives to these temporary flicks? Well, if everything around us as the ways and methods in which ‘the system works’ are based on self abuse – meaning our relationship to ourselves as our physical body, the mind and what we do onto the Earth within this same mechanism – then it is obvious that no ‘exemplar citizens’ can stem from that. Only elitist people can rejoice in calling out ‘improper deeds’ such as being a ‘homeless drug addict that sleeps, shoots up drugs and shits in graveyards’ and missing out completely the fact that it is a Human Being that one is referring to, an equal and one to yourself/myself/ ourselves.

How hard is it to ‘compute’ that? Very, specially when being able to know more about these individuals and realizing that they are human beings just like you and me that simply had no support in one moment of their lives wherein they simply ‘lost it all’ – or never ever had anything in the first place – and with that, they lost themselves, went down the perceived ‘easy way’ such as getting high and drunk in an attempt to avoid facing the stark reality that this world becomes for someone when there is no money left to have a ‘wonderful beautiful life’ as any positive person or anyone with money – including myself- would claim to have.

 

When I was talking to that hobo, I realized that I was not seeing him as an equal of course, I was in my ‘doing good’ flickering moments of approaching that which I was supposed to stay away from and attempt to make of an actual confrontation of reality just another story to tell  – what did I learn? Nothing, the man was absolutely speaking like a broken record for an hour and then we parted ways, I continued with my life and all the dreams I had, seeking to be something ‘great’ and just keeping this memory as some ‘nice encounter,’ like a charity that one does to keep for a ‘future moment’ wherein I could look back at my life and say: yes! I once had a cool time talking to a hobo downtown and learned to appreciate everything that I  have and the opportunities life has given ME.

Wow, really, wow. This is how we all thing: thanking for the benefits we currently have while ignoring WHY we have simply decided to give ourselves this nice living condition and deliberately denying such equal right to everyone, in Equality – health, love, money – all new year’s wishes must be written in stone for the remainder of our existence to always give to each other the necessary means to live in dignity, no need t wish for that when we can practically agree to provide that for each other.

 

Back to the graveyard: preserving the corpses in fancy tombstones, for what? For another hundred years? I’ll present you what they end up looking like after some 300 years…

 

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Great trophies for our future children? I would seriously propose no cemeteries to ever be created and placed as part of the planning of a city, it’s a huge waste of terrain that could hold instead a natural reserve where people could build their own earthship houses – how’s that? Too much dreaming? I don’t think so, I mean the entire business of the dead/ dying is quite a useless expense due to the belief that you have to preserve your body for whatever reasons you Be-Lie-ve you must. I mean, would you preserve a fish in your fridge till the end of your lifetime? for what? will you eat it then? does it serve any purpose? My father bought three spaces in a cemetery some years ago, I told him it is a waste of money, I want to be buried in a potato sack underneath a tree, or at least nearby where I can give this body back to where it comes from: the dust of the Earth.

‘One resident said she was shocked when she saw a male sitting on a grave with his trousers down injecting himself in his thigh in full view of everyone.’

The shocking sightings come as latest figures show an increase of 23 per cent in those sleeping rough in the UK for 2010-11.

Gail Marchant-Paisley, a city councillor for the Petersfield area of Cambridge, said problems with anti-social behaviour in the cemetery were long-standing but seemed to be getting worse.”

Welcome to the year 2013 on Earth, where people are still homeless, helpless, hooked on drugs and still having moralists complaining about their eyes being sore of seeing such barbarism while holding a magnificent plastic card in their purse that holds the power to prevent them to end up being such man or woman with no trousers and shooting up drugs to cope with a reality that has decided to forget about Them being human beings well.

 

We haven’t, we just have to get together to propose a solution and actually stand for what’s best for all, because we all KNOW what’s best for all and as such, it’s time to use our brains to develop a system that will ensure no more corpses are stored in massive areas of land that can be used to give proper living areas to people, where no more people will ever suffer from having no ability to live in dignity, and where drugs will only exist as a remnant of a past where humans had to ‘cope with reality’ to avoid facing the neglect imposed toward one another – this must be the end of the past and it begins with each one of us, we must be the ones that ensure no human being is ever again homeless and without proper living care, because there is more than enough for everyone, we just have to decide to give it to each other in Equality: www.equalmoney.org

 

Join us to give an end to the endless delusions in this world:

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Equal Money System  – Capitalism made Functional for ALL beings as it always should have been.

 

R.I.P. 2012, a year of false prophecies and endless stories that only entertained ourselves – time to get our hands on the actual work to be done here.

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255. Your Life has been a Lie, What is Real Then?

 

Our lives have been like a play: you’re born into the world, you never question the script, you learn your lines, you do all you can to keep yourself in the role as you grow up, maybe even try and evolve the role or ‘out do’ it, but eventually only managing to become the exact opposite of what you originally were, which is still defined by the first role you begun playing in the first place – still a controlled form of rebellion. You accept limitations without a question because there must be a director out there that is ready to fire you/ punish you if you skip a line or two, or dare to give more of a ‘freedom’ in expression to your character. You accept the menial ways in which a ‘living’ is made, you learn ‘that’s just the way it is’ and conform to that since everyone else seems to be doing ‘just fine’ with it – you comply. You sometimes reflect back at your character and believe there is inherently something wrong with you, you realize that the character is not really who you really are since there is always this ‘something’ that ‘just doesn’t seem right,’ but you see all the rest of the characters/ people playing their part without a care, they seem perfectly normal and comfortable being their personalized selves, without ever actually communicating with one another that they also felt the exact same way you do, and pondered the same questions you had, but were too afraid to speak up out of being ‘odd’ to step out of the role and question the entire play to finally stop playing in it, because fear then came in: what will we be then? Who will I be without this role?

 

“When an Answer is Given and Received, there is No Living Force that can Give and Receive – because, what has been Received is Accepted and Allowed to be the ‘Only Answer’.
What Answers have you been Given, that you Received so Completely – that you Became it? Your Religion, your
Thoughts, your Feelings, your Culture, your Economic System, Education… See the Perversion of the Message of Jesus: “Give as you would like to Receive”, has been Adapted to: “the Answer Given, is the Answer Received”. And because the Answer is Given, you’re Rewarded when you Receive it. This is the Key of the Sacred Geometry Preprogrammed Design. The Program is the Answer – all you have to do is Receive it. And when the Platonic Solids go into Equilibrium as a System, you have Received the Answer and you have Become the Answer – Complete Acceptance and Allowance.” Bernard Poolman

 

For context read Day 255: The Answer is Given and Thus Received – Secret Geometry of Consciousness and God – Part 3 – ADC – Part 102 by Bernard Poolman

 

 

One single paragraph explains the history of our civilization wherein we simply assumed, believed, perpetuated such beliefs from generation to generation as the purpose of living, the why we are here, what we came here for. And because of all of us wanting to veer toward this ‘tuning in’ with the system, we all sought to be happy and fine and peaceful and glorious without a single question, without pondering why some others had to spend their entire lifetimes physically suffering for some others to have the greatest luck of all to be born in a golden womb. We accepted the answers ‘That’s just the way it is/ that’s the way things are’ and it is inevitable to not see this as a point that could anger all of us, because we all knew it all the way and still kept going, shoving aside all the questions that would emerge every single day, we kept going in the inertia of our own preprogrammed system.  This is the same pattern we have all lived out in one way or another where you know there is something that you must stop, that you simply cannot continue doing/ living within a certain pattern/ dependency/ addiction/ habit, but still: we keep on doing it.  And what’s even more shocking is that sometimes these patterns are the most difficult ones to give up, just because of the intricate relationship with energy, the habits/ patterns that we have patterned ourselves as ‘who we are,’ which becomes then an energetic dependency that we give names as ‘our identity’ our ‘likes, dislikes, preferences’ and justify with further given-answers that the rest accepts as an actual ‘how things are’ type of thing = answer-received.

But, it is even more tricky to question everything within a system that seems to be working ‘quite well’ even within its limitations – and this ‘quite well’ is the conformity aspect, the moment we gave into ‘how things are’ with its ‘ups and downs/ trials and tribulations’ that we have accepted as our life. This is ‘How it must be’ and then we create fantastic stories about religion, or having to suffer to earn some heaven, or coming to the Earth to learn some lessons and ‘earn a living’ because somehow there is something that must always remain as an unknown secret to our existence that we then believe we have to ‘seek for’ as ‘our truth’ and in that, man, you become lost, because all you’ll find in books and from person to person is nothing but the same preprogrammed answers that were deliberately ‘left’ for people to create the very belief systems that would become religions with strong faith in ‘god’ or something greater than us directing the show, within this not questioning ‘god’s creation’ because that’s what we are here, for, that’s what we must do then and be complacent about it. 

Perfect systems of control that are sugar coated with names like ‘the purpose of life/ finding god/ becoming enlightened’ which is only tuning into the utmost form of enslavement as the perfect system that will keep on existing with the same thoughts, feelings, emotions, personality systems and relationships created in order to get oneself to be ‘the winner’ in the play no matter what, because: that’s what we apparently have to be and become, because it looks good/ feels good = must be good and positive.

Suggest also reading 2012 Wake up, Character: Life is not a Play!

 

Biggest Lie we’ve all participated in – same point as being mesmerized by the perfection of all the systematic equilibrium of a system that functions upon abuse – just like a shiny car on the outside that hides inside all the machinery and processes that would not look as ‘glamorous’ as the external surface, because we’ve been so used to only go for the picture / image of it and that’s it, not question anything further, take it as is. Same goes with nature: we spiritualize it creating this marvelous idea of how it perfectly works but forget about the actual laws that are still defining such interactions, which are pretty much the same processes of any form of consumption/ destruction that must exist in order to survive as a system. This is how life and death is happening all the time, yet we’ve come to fear death and seek to be alive by equating ‘life’/ living to all things positive. Really?

 

 

This is the Key of the Sacred Geometry Preprogrammed Design. The Program is the Answer – all you have to do is Receive it. And when the Platonic Solids go into Equilibrium as a System, you have Received the Answer and you have Become the Answer – Complete Acceptance and Allowance.”

 

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Last post I wrote about creating an experience about the ‘order and control’ we see in our reality, wherein we seek harmony, peace, joy, bliss and all the positive things that we have been Taught and accepted and allowed it is what life is all about. One can probably resonate with things like ‘the meaning of life’ and having a purpose, having a goal, ‘all I want in life is to be happy’ and it is quite a shame to realize how we have been so limited to live the way we do with everything we deem as ‘our living’ which is obviously not acceptable – yet we all accepted and allowed everything as is. I asked many questions as a child and would take most of the answers as ‘how things are,’ there would always be this sting wherein I knew that such answer was insufficient, but I stopped questioning because everyone thinks that the moment you question a lot, you’re in to become a sad and depressed person, because somehow becoming aware of how things actually work in the world is something negative – that’s why when one presents an emotional turmoil when becoming aware of every form of abuse we’ve accepted and allowed in this world, we are only victimizing ourselves about something that we have all quietly and adamantly participated in, without a question.

“When an Answer is Given and Received, there is No Living Force that can Give and Receive – because, what has been Received is Accepted and Allowed to be the ‘Only Answer’.”

 

This is why and how we have never been alive, it’s only been systems that we’ve become and played without a question, because of accepting fear as a real limitation to see behind the scenes and go backstage to reflect upon the roles, to see, realize and understand why we are putting up this show for and if it is in fact something that is best for all. None of our lives have lead to a best for all outcome, nothing in this world is currently set to support actual life, but only overcome the obstacles that we created in the first place, only mitigate the consequences that we created and inflicted upon ourselves as a limitation, as ‘who we are’ from the beginning, only create a good experience to ‘help those in need’ while we’ve been the ones that neglected the unconditional support to all in the first place.

 

See the insanity we’ve created as ‘our lives’ and how futile it is to try and patch it/ band aid it with solutions that only try and fix patterns that are embedded in the very blueprint of who we are as our mind/body and the world system that we’ve built as a supportive platform to continue our limited existence as a mind-body in survival mode and seeking self interest above any form of living principle of equality.

The Education of how the mind works is a vital first step to realize all of this, to understand that we have never in fact Lived – and how it is at the same time absolutely possible to become a living-directive being if we direct ourselves to equalize our living to a best for all living process wherein we stop, self forgive and correct all the mind-driven activity that we have embodied without a question as the answer-given / answer-received relationship that kept the current status quo of abuse and disregard in this world without a doubt.

Please study the Quantum Mind Self Awareness interviews for further context as well as any other series at Eqafe that support one equally to become aware of who we are/ what we’ve become and how to walk the correction to stop being the abusive players leading to our own self-destruction.

 

The reason why we are doing this is because it’s clear that nothing in this world is working alright for anyone, not even those that ‘have all the money’ as they too depend on money to keep their personal-heavens in place. That is not sustainable and as long as one single being is being abused/ exploited to build another’s heaven = problem and we all must take the responsibility to solve it by creating a feasible solution that will ensure that within this system, we grant each other equal access to everything we requite to live. Thus it is our living principle to stop the system from running in this zombie-mode and actually wake up to see what we have accepted and allowed as the absolute configuration of ourselves as individuals in this preprogrammed system that ensured lack and wealth for people in an arbitrary mode, all for the sake of keeping some energetic system that runs on polarity to keep its ‘perfect functioning’ without ever questioning why abuse and suffering must exist to keep this perfect-functioning running ‘smoothly’ apparently.

 

The show must end, and nature, the animal kingdom are already standing up, it is only us now that are unaware of this and must become so if we are really willing to become part of the solution to this mad show we’ve ignorantly accepted and allowed. Till here no further, because we are unaware of the hell that billions have to go through in order to ‘make it’ through this hellish place we’ve made of ‘our world,’ without counting the uncountable amount of species and Earthly resources as the substance of the physical that we are abusing to ‘run the show’ as well.  What’s Real is the physicality that we embody, the physicality we consume to keep existing and it is clear for sustainability purposes that we must consider at all times all beings as part of the equations that can ensure life in equality becomes the given-fact in our reality. What do we have to do then? Walk our individual processes to stop blindly participating in the systems of control and abuse that we have accepted and allowed as ‘how things are,’ that’s deprogramming the limitations we’ve imposed to ourselves.

 

The only way to follow through that is acceptable is implementing the Equal Money System that will ensure all living parts and participants in this world are equally regarded and given support within an agreement to never again accept abuse and harm upon fellow living beings as a ‘must do’ in order to make ‘life’ possible on Earth.

 

Walk with us this Journey To Life, to remove all conditions and limitations we’ve accepted as ‘who we are/ how things are’ and direct our lives to be of actual substance, meaning and purpose: to live as equals, how it always should have been.

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253. Birth of New Consciousness–Spiritual Spitefulness

All you got to do is find your way

All you have to do is hold positive thinking

All you have to do is find the light

All you have to do is listen to your higher self

All you have to do is expect things to come  your way

All you have to do is be willing to surrender

All you have to do is seek out your greatest excitement

All you have to do is HOPE for a better time, it’ll come your way

All you have to do is find it in  your heart to give love

All you have to do is to Wait for what is about to happen

All you have to do is find your way to your heart, whatever it takes

All you have to do is become a servant of god

All you have to do is embrace your true power

All you have to do is live to the fullest and enjoying every moment

All you have to do is realize you are eternal, you cannot be lost

All you have to do is realize this world is an illusion

All you have to do is Relax, you’re gonna make it

All you have to do is look into the future and have Faith you’ll be alive

All you have to do is …. wait for more 3 years and if the world keeps going as we are and no one’s changing – then, the Mayan Guys were Wrong! LOL Sorry!

 

Aren’t such empty words another form of abuse? Absolutely  since people are genuinely asking for help/ support and all they get is fluffy words that are in No way physically, tangibly applicable and livable and in exchange, they get a good laugh from someone that is willing to perpetually lie for the sake of getting good money out of hypnotizing people with nice fluffy sugary messages that take advantage of the gullibility and state of perpetual fear that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

These are all sentences you will usually get from any spiritual master and guru or channeler/ medium that claims to bring good news to the world. I was not aware of Tolle or Neale Donald Walsch, Icke or Drunvalo until I got to Desteni. And today for the first time I decided to hear what Drunvalo has to say, which is no different to any of the afore mentioned people that claim great answers reside in words like ‘love’ and ‘good will’ and ‘following your journey’ – without ever really questioning what’s of substance that is livable and applicable behind those overrated words. There’s a simple way to approach someone’s work: any piece of interview/ writing you take from any individual to investigate what they promote/ stand for, represents who they are and becomes an integral and individual account of all their body of work, since all words we speak and write ourselves as represent the point of expression we accept and allow ourselves to exist-as, not to be taken ‘lightly’ of course. This is something we also apply with ourselves as Destonians, wherein any blog we write stands as an account of sharing that which is Self Supportive for any human being that may stumble upon our writings.

What you read above is a series or patterns of sentences that I ‘picked’ up while listening to a looped video that appears on Drunvalo’s website which is no different to what any other spiritual guru’s replies wherein all is about waiting, hoping, visualizing futures, sending positive vibrations, believing in higher selves, expecting something to happen as a matter of prophecy and repeating a lot of times that he wants to help, but shows no other way other than repeating the same statements over and over again. That is not different to any channeled message you get from any entity that claims to profess some light and love and blessings for humanity. I have already repeated myself as a result of having to make something very clear here:

What is neglected, ignored or blatantly sugar coated here? Basically Everything that we are as human beings within our thoughts, words and deeds that have shaped and molded the current world we live in. One must dare to be Self Honest when sticking to a ‘spiritual highness’ while hating your neighbor inside your mind. Wanting to ‘do good’ and bring about ‘peace and joy to the world’ while satisfying one’s juiciest greedy desires. For an account of all the actual nitty gritty details of what we’ve become – and none of the spiritual teachers ‘teach you’ how to deal with – you can read any of our Journey To Life blogs and any blog you pick from the archives of this very blog here. What you’ll find is ourselves, people that once held ‘high spirits’ for change, hope and bliss and were equally high to anyone that is at the moment seeking a solution to the problem that we’ve made of our lives in this world  in sugar coated words that repeat like mantras intended to keep a human being subdued, like sedatives/ drugs to ‘calm down’ the mind and any intent for actual ‘critical thinking’ that should be veered toward questioning virtually everything of this world that we’ve blindly followed as ‘who we are’ and ‘why we are here.’

 

 

We’re taking responsibility for everything we have become. We are no longer ‘waiting’ and we understand that there will be No Transformation of Consciousness, since consciousness is the very part/ aspect of what we’ve become that we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to direct our lives in the name of following energy/ the mind/ all the illusions and delusions of grandeur that could separate us more and more and more from the physical body, from the matter that is here and that is currently existing as the manifested consequence of us following our heavenly minds waiting and hoping for something just ‘great’ happening our way.

 

What happens is: it’s very easy to get excited about a ‘change’ in spirituality, as that usually implies no physical change, because of the excuse that ‘it is at a spiritual level’ = invisible/ non tangible level;  one would have to be deliberately fooled to not see the lies within this. 

 

Realizing that we have to In Fact work with ourselves in the very detail of who we are and what we’ve become is the reason why many are too afraid to give up that which makes you feel good, special and enlightened, as that’s what spirituality basically sells. What’s not usually understood is how liberating it is to stop waiting, hoping, dreaming, praying chanting, wishing, having faith, carrying stones, crystals, cards, reading endless books of positive messages, hearing channeled messages, watching people sitting on white blankets laughing at you if nothing happens in 3 years from now on… At Desteni we have instead begun a process of Self Forgiveness for having sought for solutions outside of ourselves or in any piece of ‘miraculous message’ or expecting ‘angels’ to be guiding us to fulfill any spiritual journey.

 

The only journey is getting ourselves out of this hell that we are blindly veiling with deception after deception of which spirituality and all things invisibly ‘great’ are causing as a result of a Collective Unconsciousness, wherein we’ve been literally existing as mind-drones following the mind’s/ consciousness direction that will only regard Energy and all things abusive to Life and never ever questioning but WHY are we waiting, hoping, praying, asking for something while all we can see is each other on Earth destroying all? Why would we even have to wait for a change if all changes are visibly aspects of a political, economical and social system that requires basic principles as a foundation to manage ourselves as humanity. Anything less than investigating this reality as the actual Problems we’re facing will lead you again to hoping, waiting, chanting and hypnotizing yourself into believing there’s nothing to do and some magic wand will come and wipe our mess all of a sudden.

Visit the Capitalism vs. Equal Money Group for further context of what is Really Real.

This is the actual disease and mental disorder, fellow human beings, the acceptance and allowance of the excitement for all things ‘positive’ while deliberately ignoring and neglecting HOW we caused the problems in the first place.

There is support for you to actually give an END to the lies that we’ve fed ourselves with and that we’ve all co-operated with, since Money is no different to any other spiritual tool that only works for some chosen ones only. Investigate Desteni, Equal Money System and realize that there is no God/ Alien/ Force going to save us, but we require to rather stop fooling ourselves, take the wheel of our lives here on Earth, educate ourselves, educate our children within the principles of Equality to make everyone aware of the level of abuse that hoping, waiting, wishing leads to: a lazy humanity that is willing to follow prophecies till the end of their individual lifetimes and allow kids to continue being starved and women to continue giving birth to beings in this world that exists in negligible conditions, instead of actually caring just a little bit about the lives of those that genuinely physically suffer on Earth, a suffering that is the direct outflow of those with light/money/energy – which is all of us that have the ability to write, speak, have education and the means to publish this and as such, make a decision to support what is REALLY HERE as the Real Problems that have always begun at a thought level, which is the spiritual realms we have all embodied and spited life with – it is time to Stop.

Get to know yourself: Investigate the Desteni Lite Process, a Free Online Course wherein  you’ll be able to actually ‘find your way’ through your own directive will to write yourself to become aware of all of which we have participated in as a force of self interest instead of having considered the laws of the physical wherein each individual part is required to stand as a responsible-actor and walk a corrective process to ensure we don’t ever delude ourselves with our own words as creations that stand for a fallacy that is diverting our actual ‘point’ of our lives, which is ourselves as physical beings, as part of the whole. This is the actual Standing up for Life that no one in their full sanity and self awareness will turn down as an opportunity to finally learn how to live.

 

Further Support

 

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Further delusional news:

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251. Does Hope Solve the Matters of the World?

“There is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” – Rumi

We tend to hope and wait for something to miraculously fix that which we accepted and allowed to happen in the first place.

Statements like Rumi’s are empty words that mean nothing/hold nothing of substance, yet create the most ‘impact’ when it comes to our feeble self interest that exists as the aspect that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, which is the mind as consciousness.

We were looking at yesterday how we have defied the natural laws of the physical reality  by creating obnoxious hierarchical schemes that a series of bubbles would never follow through with, as any arrangement that represents a point of abuse cannot simply be sustained at a physical level.

bubble efficiency

 

  • Does HOPE exist or is it necessary as a ‘force’ to create this perfect physical demonstration of the inherent properties in which matter arranges itself when having to coexist with equals and working as One unit?
  • Is Love required in order for these bubbles to learn how to arrange themselves in the most perfect way of coexistence that does not even require an actual push by the creator of the bubbles for the matter to arrange themselves in a clear equal disposition in reality ?
  • Is Peace required for them to agree to coexist within the most stable form wherein all bubbles share an equal amount of space from the first bubble upon which the unit is being built upon?

 

The answer to all of the above is: No, and this is one single and plain demonstration of how no one had to speak any form of airy-fairy words to create such perfect arrangement of matter in front of our eyes. There is no Resistance stemming from the bubbles to do this – is this a godly force at hand then?*

What has happened with us human beings and words is that we have used them as energy, as consciousness instead of using words as a physical livable consideration of the best way in which we can in fact live as. This means that what we have become is the result of having neglected physical reality and followed only energy as either positive or negative experiences that in no way have a direct correlation to physical reality, but we have instead imposed such experiences onto the physical laws as a violation to this physical natural disposition, creating our current chaos/ inequality/ abuse and suffering just because of having ignored that principles we should all inherently direct ourselves as.

 

What does this mean?

 

The moment one react to statements like “There is hope after despair and many suns after darkness” can only indicate that: You are existing only as a programmed mind to react with a self-defined positive experience to words that indicate ‘you have nothing to do, you just have to remain in your state of inertia’ wherein a future projection/ Imagination process must take place for you to envision this marvelous outcome after the ‘darkness’ which is what we are currently existing as according to this statement, which is precisely in reverse, I’d say. We are in the era of absolute enlightenment as the ultimate demonstration of ego in its full splendor that uses words like Hope, Love, Peace and Light, Faith, Bliss as a way to Ignore the physical laws that we have violated in the first place, leading us to what Rumi and many other light and love spiritual people consider ‘darkness’ as the ‘bad and the negative.’

 

Test that for yourself – make some bubbles as it is explained within the section of The Code episode of The sphere, bubbles and how nature’s economic laws function – now, speak to the bubbles the word HOPE and see if their arrangement changes to maybe some other marvelous arrangement of sorts, you can also try voicing love, light, peace, joy, happiness, bliss, light, whatever you consider might be ‘supportive’ for these bubbles to coexist. You can do the opposite then, speak darkness, bad, evil, madness, violence, guilt, remorse, shame and see if the bubbles change their arrangement.

What will happen most likely is that they wont’ change no matter how much good positive vibrations/ words you speak to them, their physical stability is not affected by human consciousness.

 

Now, if you do the same experiment with a human being, most likely the person will react to all such words in both a negative and a positive experience – their body will most certainly remain functioning, breathing, stable as a physical unit, but who they are as the mind might go into an array of energetic experiences that they might even follow through with further imaginations, pictures, judgments, reactions, internal conversations, fears and a plethora of mind-experiences that will eventually create an effect upon the physical body. And so, it would be very clear how we are the only ones that create an instability through our words accepted and allowed to exist only as Energy and participate in such experiences while disregarding the physicality, the constancy and consistency of breath as that certainty of who we really are.  It should be very clear with this how we are our own disease and we are our own cure.

 

The question is, why would we need ‘hope’ for things to get better if we can instead work on ourselves individually to understand which words are in fact livable, which words can be definitely actions that can be physically lived as humanity to be able to coexist in such a perfect arrangement like the bubbles above? The answer is: there is no need for hope, we have just created these words to protect self interest, because the reality is that we have not willed ourselves to coexist in such equality-arrangement as bubbles and acting as one single unit composed of various individualized expressions, all sharing equal parts of the main foundation which is the bubble in the center. This thus implies that we don’t really require hope or imagination or reactions of emotions and feelings to create a solution in this world and that the only obstacle is our own ego/ self interest/ desire to have ‘more’ of space while neglecting that such decisions lead to unbearable consequences, which is what we are living now in our world.

 

The solution is being shown by the bubbles themselves which are the same laws that nature in itself is also functioning as. The only external factor that has caused consequence is the human being of course, and not even who we are as physical beings as our physical bodies function within similar processes as any organic entity in this world – thus, it is only who we are as consciousness, as the energy system that has taken the wheel of our beingness in order to exist as the ultimate self interest experience wherein we have certainly Not ever questioned why it is that we have accepted some to have it all and some to have none and as such, create the most heinous imbalance in reality that has existed from the very beginning of our existence, we have just come to the pinnacle of it again and as such, we’re also existing in the most important times we’ll ever face in our current reality: the absolute possibility of Self-Correction and Self-Responsibility in order to align ourselves to a Best for All Outcome.

 

We are presenting the Equal Money System which is exemplified perfectly by the natural arrangement of the bubbles above. Each individual sharing, coexisting as equals with equal support and opportunity to live in the most optimal condition while coexisting in one single unit as a whole.

Many say nature is wise, but it is even wiser to actually learn from the physical laws that are existing as the arrangement that enables the sustainability and trust that we can have on the constancy and consistency that this physical reality represents, and actually implement it as the laws and regulations we can found our lives upon on Earth – who we are as the mind varies from second to second, from word to word spoken to another human being as the example I placed above – how could such flimsy self-experience could be the reality of ourselves? How could we be trust worthy with life if we dare to abuse the physical in the name of an energetic positive or negative experience? We simply can’t.

 

The Equality System also represents a physical preventive set of regulations that will ensure no need for hope or faith is ever looked for again within humans, it is quite obvious that such words stem after the ‘boat has sunk’ and as such, represent an illusory correction to a problem that could have been prevented in the first place. There is absolutely no point in indulging in words that represent a nothingness, an insubstantiality that cannot be physically lived but instead, we can simply erase Hope from our vocabulary and turn it into a disposition and willingness to coexist as equals, without any resistance, without any fear as those points can only exist within the who we are as the ego of the mind, as consciousness.

 

Bubbles of self interest floating around just fall and disappear – bubbles that stick together become more resistant as they are sharing their beingness to create a more stable structure, even if of course eventually all bubbles will be burst, just like ourselves having a defined lifetime wherein the last question that I’ll leave here is the following:

 

It’s clear that all of that which is not directly linked to and supporting what is Real as the physical reality will have to be eliminated, the same as any word that is simply not supporting the expression of who we really are but instead have become the very shackles we have accepted and allowed as a way to remain idle, waiting and hoping for something to resolve the Matters at Hand.

*“If you cannot ‘drive’ the ‘Matter-within’ which is the ‘Matter’ of what is ‘Important’ for ‘Everyone’, the ‘Matter of Equality’ -How can you ‘expect’ ‘Equality’ – to ‘Support-You?’

 

If you are not ‘willing’ to ‘give-up’, that which is ‘causing’ the ‘Problem’ in ‘Matter’, in ‘Space-Time’. In the ‘Physical-Reality’, which is an ‘Unequal Money System’. An ‘System’ that ‘do-not give’, to ‘each-one’ a ‘Support Structure’ to make the ‘most’ of ‘this Life’, in the ‘Physical’ – If one do-not take that-on, and Stop that – Why should ‘Existence’ ‘Matter’ ‘about-You’? Why should ‘Existence’ ‘Care’ ‘about-You’? Because that which you could ‘do-something-about’, you did not… ‘Matter’ to ‘you.’ It didn’t ‘Matter’. It wasn’t…“I don’t..It doesn’t ‘Matter’, I mean. I… ‘See’ if I ‘Care’. Why should-it ‘Matter’ to ‘Me’? I mean, ‘My Life’ is ‘Fine’. I’m ‘Happy’. I mean, I’ve ‘Worked Hard’ to be ‘Happy’! ”

 

Really? Yes, your ‘Genetics’ fell by a ‘luck-shot’ in a ‘place’ where you have ‘Money’. You’re in a ‘Casino’. Now you’re a ‘little-picture’ walking around Here – is ‘Happy’. With a ‘Smile’. Is that ‘really’ the ‘Case’? It’s Not. ‘How’ ‘Far’ are you ‘going-to-go’ to ‘Expose’ the ‘Matter-at-Hand’? ‘How’ ‘Far’ are you ‘going-to-go’ to ‘Make-Sure? Because, unless one take this ‘Matter’ to it’s ‘Conclusion’, there is a ‘Problem’, isn’t it?

 

You have ‘no-option’ but to take this ‘Matter’ to ‘Conclusion’. To ‘bring-about’ a ‘Directive Structure’ within ‘Matter’ that ‘Matters‘, for ‘Everyone’. And that put ‘Matters‘ in this Reality, in such a way, that ‘Everyone Matters‘ – Equally. That should be the ‘only-thing’ that ‘Matters‘, until it’s ‘Done’. Nothing else is ‘really’ ‘of-any-matter’, is it? Everything else that ‘takes’ one’s ‘attention-away’ from this ‘Matter’ = is ‘Deliberate Deception’. One should ‘treat-it’ as-’such’. ‘Focused’ on a ‘Solution’, in-’Matter’, about ‘things’ that ‘Matter’, to ‘all Parts of Life’, ‘Every Being’, ‘Here’.

Once this ‘Matter’ is taken-care-of, we will have a Reality where things ‘Matter’. That will be ‘quite nice’, isn’t it?

 

So – Let’s ‘sort-out’ the ‘Matter-at-Hand’.

Bernard Poolman – May 24th,  2010

 

Would you want to remain only as a lonely bubble drifting around with no direction or cause, or would you want to be a bubble that instead joins other bubbles to create a stable and consistent environment that is for sure a more enjoyable way of living as one and in equality?

If you opt for the second choice, join us at

 

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Interviews to Understand the Physical Matters in this world and how to walk through a Self Corrective process to ensure we Never again recreate the use of hope but instead live as a constant solution to this reality.


247. Blindly Following Our Progress

Doomsday is a novelty joke to evade the consequences of our thoughts, words and deeds of having disregarded the laws of nature and the physical in our reality in the name of following through with our mind-driven desires, all based on energy which implies the abuse of the physical for the sake of feeling just Fine.

What’s the fine line between progress and devolution? The neglect in which we have built this marvelous see-evil-I-zation wherein we have focused on the ‘I’ only of self interest, following our success, no matter ‘what’ has to be destroyed and potentially damaged for the rest of the Earth’s existence just to have a moment of bliss and ideal of progress disregarding the shit hitting the fan while smiling at the beautiful scenes of what progress implies.

Cities like Dubai are the perfect example of what human beings as gods disregarding the ‘forces of nature’ imply: creating this great buildings at the expense of the most horrid living conditions that any worker on Earth is currently having to go through just to make a living. The same goes for all the people that confections our clothes, build our gadgets, grow and reap our food which is essentially the extraction and transformation industries that get to do the most work at the expense of slave labor. The ‘retail’ industry is the one that benefits through us buying brands, lifestyles, experiences that we have tagged as our ‘successful living’ while neglecting everything that had to be destroyed for that single ‘lifestyle’ to be now something that is Normal to ourselves.

Read Matti Freeman’s Day 152: Slaves of Dubai – Exposing the Darkness behind the Glittering Lights of Progress for further context.

 

Continuing from:

 

We’ve come to the point where we would rather expect some 3 days of darkness to happen or some planetary alignment and suddenly have a renewed world all of a sudden. Seriously, is there any  trace of sanity in such beliefs? No – and this world-system is proof of how we have all been inherently insane to keep blindly participating in this world system wherein Nothing is projected to be sustainable in a long term basis.

I was watching Gian’s video on Hope – which I obviously suggest you watch as well – and realized that it is true, we are born with a certain belief/idea of ‘this is how things always have been and there’s no change in how things work’ – and in this ‘this is how things work’ is the doom of our race, because in such acceptance we have only gone either of the two following ways:

1. Waiting for the world to end/ be destroyed = doomsday character.

2. Waiting for something marvelous to happen that will wash away all the destruction and will wipe out all our atrocities in a blink of an eye = ascension/ transformation of consciousness character.

 

Both are equally fucked, to say the least, since we can read WAITING which is just precisely HOPING for something to happen. In both scenarios we either drive ourselves to a Negative Self Experience – which is what I have described in the past posts – or we drive ourselves to a Positive Self Experience, which is all your ascension/2012 transformation of consciousness type of messages. It is funny to recall the last book I read on the Mayan Calendar subject, right before Desteni – well in fact the day I finished the book I encountered Desteni – where Dr. Calleman said that by November 2012, everyone would be enlightened – I would quote the page of the 2012 Transformation of Consciousness book he wrote, but gave it away within the realization that I had just indulged in quite an extensive amount of unfounded statement. Wow, really wow.  If enlightenment means being ready to continue using and abusing the Earth by our every single move in everything we think say and do then by all means, we are full of light and will soon burst into flames if we don’t stop.

 

What I realize is that beyond me having gone into the negative experience about the world and feeling all sad/ depressed that ‘this world is shit,’ is really only the exact same as thinking positive and waiting for something Great to come, because in self-doomification I am doing exactly the same thing: Only waiting for an End while precisely only living to die and doing absolutely Nothing to stop the current ways in which our society has been made ‘acceptable,’ which is accepting and allowing self-abuse in all ways.

 

Now, the problem is not the Earth of course or the ecosystem and all the living beings beside the human being, that was perfect in its natural equilibrium; it is our force as human nature of actual Evil that has disregarded the physical forces we are subject to. That’s what playing God in essence has been about: believing we could somehow implement our jolly civilizations of multiple advancements without a single point of concern on ‘what’s next’ you know? Because there is a very important factor that we have ALL Participated in: We Trusted in those that have come before us to only give ‘permission’ – accept and allow – to implement what is currently running here as a living-condition that should be beneficial for all. But is it so? Of course not, not at all since all decisions made have been based upon Energy, which in this world system means Money/ Profit being the directive principle of the route we have followed through as humanity. And as all decisions made/founded upon energy: there is a massive disregard for its sustainability in the long run, and this goes from relationships that we found upon this energetic positive experience to making our living decisions of what career to study, what to ‘invest upon’ only within the same scheme of what we have currently valued as ‘More’ than life itself.

 

When I was a child, I developed this ‘ecological awareness’ in a very limited way, but it was ‘something’ and I remember being 7-8 years old and from that time and on, every time that  I flushed the toilet I would ‘feel bad’ for the water that will have to go with all the rest of the world’s toilet water and polluting the Earth. Whenever I would take a shower I would literally imagine how many more were showering around the world as well, how many were spending too much water in their showering while I was ensuring I would spend the least – I worried about things like littering on the streets and the smog produced by all the cars in the city – and I would become rather depressed whenever I would get to go to another country or see pictures of another’s travels throughout Europe for example, and be marveled at the cleanliness and order that those cities/places were in, it all seemed ‘to good to be true,’ which is another outflow and consequence of us regarding such advancements as something genuinely positive to follow and desire. I only created a loathing for my country and the people here, so I went into an absolute abhorrent state because in my mind ‘no one cared’.’  And again, going into a ‘powerlessness’ and ‘hopelessness’ because no matter how much I tried to make an effort to ‘do something,’ obviously it was futile, because I wasn’t really looking at or aware of the greater picture of how things work in this reality.

 

Throughout the years, it was like swimming against the tide all the time, everyone just wanted me to relax a bit about all the things I would constantly worry about – all that which I called ‘pollution’ yet never really saw how everyone’s – including my own-  every single move contributes to this ‘pollution,’ no matter what we do in this current society. So, this is part of a personality that I became until I simply opted for the ‘fly away’ type of personality wherein I would shove aside my constant awareness on dirt/ pollution/ contamination/ civil carelessness for the environment and blamed this country and its people for it, never really understanding the magnitude of the problem at a global scale of which this idea of progress was mostly the direct source of, and how it was because of the ‘improvements’ that people in the first world were developing as the ‘ultimate civilizations’ that we were in fact following through with this abuse, without the necessary education on how to DEAL with everything we would get now from such first world countries and simply started copying it, using it,  without any further regard, which became a problem because we simply followed through with the ‘advancements’ without really pondering: hmm, if I buy a v.8 vehicle yes I’ll have a shitload of HP and luxuries, but is this sustainable?

And so, our living standard instead of focusing on creating sustainable conditions for transportation became the ultimate presentation of an actual mock to any regard for the resources required to run a v.8 vehicle, because all that we really cared for is showing off our ability to pay for such amount of gas, taxes and maintenance as an indication of elevating our power of acquisition through buying that which could SHOW to others that we are ‘making it in the system.’ This is what our success have become.

 

“A Successful Failure, is when Failure is taken Personally – and the Purpose of Failure is not Grasped. Because Failure, has been Changed into the Illusion of Energy and is Experienced as some form of ‘Feeling’.
Failure, when Grasped – is the Map and the Road to Self-Perfection.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

The example I give is quite a tangible one, since also in my home city there’s Volkswagen and all the German people worked there and had this thing for cars, which I then became used to the idea of one has to have this latest-model of car and dispose the older ones because: you always get improvements. This is a single example of how we Always buy into the idea (social conditioning) of having the latest and most recent upgrade of everything as a sign of success – see for yourself how only the nice bright idea of power is looked at, but have no regard at the actual need for an upgrade and what happens with all the cars that are disposed, what are the current productions settings that have created our brand new car, the gas requirements, labor that has been put into it, how has it been paid for – none of that is of our concern, we feel like royals just having the ability to buy it and ride it and disregard everything else. And yes, it feels GREAT but I bet it won’t feel that great when there’s no freaking gas to pump into such v.8 vehicles, where already decisions are being made between eating or pumping gas into your car, as a matter of fact and consequence of disregarding basic common sense equations in which life should run upon.

 

Now we get the point of success being a blatant ignorant self-abuse, you see?

 

And then, when the shit hits the fan as it is happening now, we would rather follow through either of the above mentioned 2 options, instead of actually placing our hands on the problems and become aware of the series of steps that we have followed through until it’s become this chain-massacre of points that we accepted and allowed to end up in this blind-line of production and consumption that is disregarding and neglecting the primer matter of which everything is formed.

Please read an Economist’s Journey to Life for further  details

 

I had to just go and clean the fridge from all the food that my house mates have just ‘left’ and realized how just because we have the money to buy, we simply buy-buy-buy and don’t even think about what we are in fact going to in fact use. I can absolutely say that the waste of food I have created for the most part has been the one I have processed in my own physical body and dumped on the toilette, but I absolutely measure the amount of food I will in fact eat – and if some vegetables go rot, it’s a minimal quantity that I can place as compost for the tree and that’s it. And when confronting anyone about such blind-consumption, we only face the point of: Oh but ‘I’ bought it, so it’s ‘my’ stuff as a given right to abuse. The same we do with everything that we consume that we know it’s not beneficial, like people taking drugs and believing that it is only THEM that they are fucking up, not anyone else – which means that we disregard the basic fact that Everything we do, act and speak is linked through a collective process of coexisting in the same world, this means: there are no ‘isolated forces’ that will not have an effect and consequence on this reality, we’re all equally contributing to them.

 

And once again, what do we do? If you ask any regular person, everyone’s just hoping things will just go ‘mildly wrong’ in our lifetime as it’s being predicted everywhere, we just hope to ‘make it through,’ die and leave the future generations with the most heavy load of destruction to deal with. This is the statement we are living by every day that goes through without placing and becoming a solution to this world.

 

What is this whole ‘evolution’ based on, what is our progress based on? Abuse of the Earth to make things bigger, faster, greater, more efficient, more astounding and creating within ourselves this fantabulous self-experiences of this being a ‘marvelous world/ our creation,’ but we rarely or never even look at all the processes behind everything that we consume – and for that, we are ALL equally responsible.

 

And this is one of the points that listening to the See no Evil, Hear no Evil, Speak no evil – Life Review which really walks us through what we’ve become without a doubt in this world, and also a great way to gift to another a piece of audio-awareness that can be an eye opener for this ‘holiday season’ when all our “Love” is DEMON-strated through buying/ consuming and giving each others stuff that we have no idea how it’s been created.

 

So, where does our responsibility reside on? Having accepted and allowed the current lifestyles we’re living as ‘the way things are’ which is what Anu also explains is something that should be really questioned at all times, as that implies the inertia that we’ve moved ourselves within: how things are/ it’s always been this way wherein we automatically infer = then it is fine, then it is okay, then there is no harm or potential life-threat within this, because it’s been running for 50 years. Well, it’s certainly ONLY 50 years that’s taken us to massively upscale our current abuse on Earth and we call this progress.

And we expect doomsday? Lol that would certainly be a ‘gift’ if any god existed, we won’t get rid of any consequence any time soon unless we actually take responsibility for it, face it and fix it.

 

“Without Failure – Self-Perfection is Impossible.
Without Failure – Birthing Harmony on Earth is Impossible.
Without Failure – Perfecting Individualization is Impossible.
Without Failure – Enlightenment Perfection is Impossible.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

To be continued, for sure.

 

 

Red Fears

 

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    241. The EndGame Show: 2012

    I watched Derren Brown’s The Gameshow episode which is a brilliant piece of what popular TV should become: a blatantly blunt and absolutely irrevocable proof of what we have become as humanity: full blown evil egos that have absolutely no regard toward the life of fellow living beings and dare to rejoice making a mockery out of another’s unfortunate lives that are being directed by the observers themselves.

    I had to breathe in order to not participate further in further thoughts and outspoken backchat after one witness the whole thing and for a moment find yourself laughing along to what we have defined as entertaining and funny. This certainly made me realize to what extent we have brainwashed ourselves to have the most twisted sense of humor labeled as ‘normal’ to laugh upon actual evil lived out in the life of a human being that’s being secretly filmed for the de-light of everyone, even if it is entertainment gone educational, still running a show within the whole scheme of how it all functions through/ by money itself.

     

    The game depicts the two options we hold in this world while living and interacting with everything and everyone here, as simple and direct as a yes and a no: to do what’s best for all/ doing onto another what you would want others to do onto you/ giving and receiving in equality/ loving thy neighbor as thyself OR essentially ‘consciously’ deciding to make another’s life their worst fucking nightmare and hell through your own direct ‘democratic vote’ to do so.

     

    When the audience in this fake ‘game show’ are endowed with the godly-ability to direct what happens to a person’s life, and are given the ‘right to vote’ toward a positive and a negative outcome that would be taken on upon this man’s life – the audience, conveniently suited with masks that enhance their anonymity – cast their vote to massively decide through the majority rule vote what the life of the man would turn out to be for the night. This is a perfect depiction of how we are all nicely sitting on our asses, having our lives backed up with money in our pockets while we watch the whole planet and beings going extinct and crumbling down to ashes as a result of us having disregarded any other single particle ‘outside of ourselves’ As ourselves, equal and one, and only abused it in order to create a vulgar display of power where we are able to decide upon another’s life in a deliberate manner to feel ‘empowered..’

    And! We are waiting for doomsday? Wtf.

     

    Derren Brown - the Show -Evil Human Nature

     

    The results are not surprising considering the inherent human nature that is Evil as the reverse of life. This show reveals to what extent – even if given the ability of ‘free choice’ as in freely choosing and deciding upon a being’s life – the majority of the people votes for all the worst to happen to the man/ subject of the show – what for? One can see the thrill as the excitement that is generated through vicariously witnessing another’s suffering and having the power to say ‘I made him go through that/ I deliberately wanted that person to have a shitty time in his life, yeah man! that’s some real fun, hey’ – Writing these words is already quite a criminal sentence, however the point that I am here to share, place out and walk through is how after watching this for a moment I felt disgusted for being a human being – again: a feeling/ experience created at a mind level as the usual disdain that I would project and cultivate toward humanity in the past, myself included, of which some layers/ dimensions will certainly come up as they are ‘stirred’ through external stimuli. I was a perfect example of how to loathe reality and still manage to get your personal interests in place. 

     

    Continuing from – Evil:

    194. Let the Mask Fall!

     

    I realized to what extent it is relevant to speak about this topic since we’re only few days away from the great non-event that will probably only serve as an excuse to immigrate to another ‘meaningful date’ to a few years from here on – I will resume with the education point I had last shared until I lay out the latest discoveries of this character. I suggest reading the blogs listed above to get a perspective of my own fuckups with regards to how fervently I would dare to speak about things like the end of the world and rejoice about it, just like a perfect doomsday activist that I was on my way to become some years ago.

     

    Throughout this Process I have realized that I cannot in any way continue creating judgments upon those that judge, that would be the obvious law of stupidity, isn’t it? It took me quite a while to grasp it and all I can say is I am applying and practicing to live humbleness after realizing my own fuckups within this aspect in my life.

     

    The only reason why I prayed – figuratively speaking – for the world to end was precisely because I would generate the same type of disgust toward humanity to the one I experienced today after watching this show, a remnant of the type of thinking I would function in a 24/7 attitude in my past, and I must say that committing oneself to stop the continuous judgment has been a definitive decision that must be lived in every single moment that I decide to breathe as life and stop myself from playing the grumpy old humanity-Grinch that I had become. Obviously, it was easier to just want everything to be ‘washed away,’ sucked by some massive black hole or obliterated by some meteorite – in fact the word ‘obliterate’ holds the relationship to this ‘massive’ desire to end it all.

     

    But the reality is that: I didn’t want to face what I had become, what we’ve become. I have written about this before several times but the whole death and destruction point has reached its peak, since it’s only a few days away now for Nothing to happen for once and for all.

     

    You can read more  from the ‘Doomsday Character’ here:

     

    Fortunately, I found self forgiveness and no, this is no  religious-sinner act here. This is about being profoundly ashamed of myself as a human being for what we’ve done and become, and be able to give myself a second chance to live, a second opportunity to start from scratch and I’ll never forget when I heard those words and decided from there on that I would choose life.

     

    It is only through Self-Forgiveness that one can stand up from all the guilt, remorse, shame and all the psychological and physical heavy loaded guns that we have emptied upon ourselves, each other, the animals, the Earth, children, every single spec of life that we are obviously unaware and have disregarded while seeking for our greatest vilest excitement, which happens to be covered in sugar to disguise the fact that every form of apparent human benevolence is in fact just a blatant way to disguise our real nature, the one that can be ‘lost in the masses’ and be unable to be spotted as a perpetrator of a crime or a hideous act of nasty violence and abuse toward another fellow living part of this reality that is ourselves.

     

    Can I have a single point of respect toward a human being that decides upon something really hideous to happen to another being under free choice? No, but I’ve become that as well. I have accepted and allowed the existence of a world wherein who we are has become the blatant DEMONstration of what the so-called godly given free-choice and free-will as the freedom to abuse and disrespect life in the name of self-interest as a human consciousness robot that knows nothing better but laughing at another’s disgrace and pretending there is some acceptable sense of rejoice in that. Seriously, we do that all the time.

     

    We all seek happiness, bliss, joy, being content, peaceful, we wash ourselves in our benevolent acts of kindness by ‘helping others’ and showing off the super-whitened smile while secretly in the back of our head, the real evil nasty thoughts reveal that we have in fact no self-respect because if we had a single bit of integrity, we would tape our own mind from thinking any inkling of repugnant backchat and spiteful judgments toward another being. It is fucking ludicrous that anyone can possibly consider oneself as a good person, as any form of benevolent act in a world wherein our very actions on a daily basis reveal that we Only care about our own well being, our own family – fuck the rest! – our own jobs/ money/ security and let the children starve and be sold for money to feed their families –

    Oh, but then again! we have our marvelous entertainment such as 2012 and the plethora of promises and hopes and positive wishes and apparent magical solutions for humanity, because in our minds we live in the delirium that ‘we deserve it’ –  Really?

    We’re the almighty gods of existence here, with our elitist ways of catching up on the latest on world hunger:

    About 25,000 people die every day of hunger or hunger-related causes, according to the United Nations. This is one person every three and a half seconds, as you can see on this display. Unfortunately, it is children who die most often. – poverty.com

    We even got a poverty.com portal that we access in our laptops to check out some fancy numbers and statistics but  absolutely neglecting in its totality the reality of what one single reality experience of those 25 thousand beings actually experience in one single day of their lives – oh but yes, we are claiming we are empty vessels in full view and require some god, some major event to look forward to… wow, really, wow.

     

    People given the free-command to decide upon a being’s life within the framework of a ‘game show’ while wearing masks to protect the oh-so-beloved ‘identity and privacy,’ collectively decide to inflict  the most hideous experiences that a single person can go through in a matter of hours – taking into consideration that such acts must be able to be broadcasted for pg-13 audience, otherwise I’m sure the evil could escalate a lot further. Now taking the same actions at a global level: how could any human being indulge in believing that as a result of a series of constant and continuous putrefactive acts, one could get some form of heavenly reward from a non-existent god as a result of one’s nastiness and brutality inflicted upon all life forms in every single second that life is disregarded and instead abused? How could such a being that is deliberately flipping the middle finger to another for the sake of a laughter in any way expect that some divine hand is going to come and wipe out the whole earth to end the suffering of everyone and some ‘special ones’ ascend to the heavens?

     

    How can we as humanity, accepting and allowing this delusional and hypocritical world system in any way expect something GOOD and Benevolent emerging out of Nowhere on a single day that everyone seems to be waiting for, as if there was some mighty being or force that was actually pleased with what we’ve become in order to grant us the long-awaited doomsday. In and for all cases, we’re all equally and one doomed beyond measure for what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become – yet this is not an excuse to say ‘it’s too much’ and then give up, as that would only indicate a timeloop that will have to be corrected anyways.

     

    It is also quite a paradox that I have to recommend a TV show to witness our reality, simply because we haven’t been Paying Attention to our reality outside the door, but instead have to read about it, watch it through our HDMI screens and get a bucket of cold water to wake up from the slumber we’re in. Will we learn? Unfortunately as history has shown: we don’t. Even if millions die in world wars and keep the memory intact as if it had been in fact the most atrocious acts in humanity, we perpetrate and support with our very thinking-schemes a system that is founded upon abuse, our desires to be happy, rich, fulfilled, to be joyous and blissful at the expense of others, never minding about a single thing that must be sacrificed for such a ‘good time,’ because in the end we’re the ‘masters of disguise’ when it comes to painting an entire town red without realizing that it’s actually blood that’s been shed in order for some twisted idea of progress to exist.

     

    If we could look at oil as the result of the actual processes in which  the oil itself was discovered and exploited, the suffering of the beings caused for the wars that lead to the appropriation of oil from some middle east country and the crimes committed in the name of this ‘dark gold’ as a form of quantum-memory projecting itself as you pump gas into your car, one could probably have a constant reminder of what our idea of ‘civilization’ is all about. Feeling guilty or remorseful or taking yourself to a point of wanting to commit suicide won’t do a thing, it will only make things worse because even such ‘decisions’ are made in self interest: only caring about – once again – one’s own experience and are no different in essence to a decision made to live in eternal bliss, because even death was believed to be a final-point to the book we’ve jotted upon as ‘our life.’ It is not so, definitely, it is the most stupid thing one can do as well as believing that some magic date will bring an end to this ‘torture in life.’

     

    The reason why I am writing this is because I felt a nauseous experience about humanity again as I hadn’t felt in quite a while in spite of the amount of information and personal self investigation wherein we become aware of how we are Not in any way any benevolent act on Earth. But one has to be actually faced with this form of ‘entertainment’ that is revealed to be quite a blow on our face what we have deemed as ‘funny’ as ‘entertaining’ and ‘acceptable’ within the constrains of our mediated minds wherein no respect, honor and regard for life exists, at all, because all of the reverse to that is what sells well.

     

    All I could think of is: I am here, I acknowledge what I’ve done, what I’ve created and propitiated within my every day living – I am no different to the beings that deliberately chooses upon the man’s ‘bad time’ on this TV show. Through my accepted and allowed existence and continuation within this system, I am in complicity to the thousands of people dying every day of starvation, I am directly responsible for the belief upon any form of hope for things ever ‘getting better’ or in the best-case scenario, or in the shape of my old secret desires, witness a full deployment of natural forces upon humanity, to just boil down the Earth to ashes – such self destructive thoughts are continually lived as our personal hells in our minds, every single day having to battle ‘the damned thing’ that is ourselves, foolishly so only battling our own minds as an experience.

     

    No wonder the world is what it is, we rather cut down trees and put some shiny lights upon them and profess ‘love and peace’ for a few couple of days while massively consuming shit that we don’t need and call that ‘holy-days,’ really? Do  a research on the type of activity humans rejoice in such holy-days: massive amounts of alcohol, porn, drugs and any other form of brutal entertainment is ensued to ‘kill the dread’ that these ‘holidays’ are usually adorned with in a regular human being’s life. This is what we’ve become.

     

    Now, feeling disgust and feeling any form of actual shame would only be me playing the necessary role for this massive mindfuck to continue. We all have to STOP no matter what from existing within this perpetual game of self-righteous acts of self-believed immaculate souls that actually ‘do good’ in any way whatsoever on Earth.

     

    I, of course, cannot count myself out of everything that I am writing as I am writing this within the full awareness that I have not lived to the 100% that I would want to, but it still remains a ‘want,’ a ‘need’ and a ‘desire’ that is the same type of desires that can burn someone’s hands in the form of having the impulse and drive to steal, rape, murder or just commit some form of violence within the same impetus that the mind as an energetic drive creates within our physical bodies – there is no self movement yet, and that is what the correction will have to be if doomsday is to be stopped as any form of deviation toward the actual responsibility we hold as human beings toward each other as equals.

     

    It is Not Real to ‘want’ to change – it is no different to wishing light and love, really. We must LIVE change, we must Ensure that No single thought toward another living being is exerted. It is to be realized that one cannot play the benevolent act within the current frames wherein benevolence is actually founded upon abuse.

     

    We present common sense, the reality of how things function, the blatant truth of what we’ve become in an attempt to make ourselves feel special and unique and with some form of ‘divine seed’ awaiting to sprout some more industrial glitter to give head to further ‘love and light,’ in the hopes of getting ass-ended to the heavens of the 5th dimension – or as I wished upon – dying to forevermore cease to exist so that I would not have to face myself among such humanity that I came to despise, without realizing I was only staring back at me: self victimization as another entertainment of me and my mind alone.

     

    We still have the ability to take the ‘Remote Control’ as a single decision to think, do and say what is best for all life, always – We can be carried over by this sense of deindividuation that takes place, wherein we believe that we cannot be ‘spotted on’ for not giving a damn about life, for not standing up ‘who will notice? does anybody care what I had to say? what I do and how I live MY life? Why should I place myself ‘out there’ for people that don’t give a fuck? Well, these might be well known excuses that I have participated in myself that reveal we have to actually make a deliberate action to stand up for life, otherwise the voices in our head will grow bigger than ourselves – in our mind.  It takes guts to be able to place oneself as an example of how we can take our lives from the very filthy bottom of the pit of regret that we get to when realizing what we’ve done, and have the strength to stand up and walk a daily process of self forgiveness, self introspection through writing and deciding to live and apply a practical correction in order to ensure that Never Again do we ever perpetuate what we’ve been and become, of which this world is the unfortunate genuine expression of.

     

    Just as the people in Brown’s gameshow decided to NOT give what’s best for all as what they would want for themselves to this man as the main ‘subject’ of the whole experiment, we are living out that single decision in real life, idiotically following through with a system of absolute blatant self abuse wherein no one seems to give a reverend fuck as long as one is protected with enough money to live way and have some entertainment and some nice piece of land to own to look at. What about the rest? who the hell decided that we have the ability to have computers, be able to read or have our elitist lives to only be writing about all that which we have neglected and abused in our lives? yet, we are doing it , because it is what we have, it is the last call before all hell breaks lose even further than it already is, and not hearing what we say when we propose to Choose Life, Choose to Give and Receive what is Best for All, what we All would want for ourselves as the Real demonstration of what Loving our Neighbor should be, to actually create the greatest actual physical heaven on Earth, we decide to spite each other and mock the hell out of it just because ‘we can.’ 

     

    Now, after all of this, going into victimization and saying ‘we don’t deserve to live’ can be just another ego game – been there, done that and as such, I direct myself to realize that any form of experience from the realization of what we’ve done and become is just another mind-game to remain in my safe spot of inaction and bypass stander-act that I have so much judged upon other human beings. This is where we realize that this all does not require further large faces and pretentious acts of ‘care,’ as the people at the end of the show reveal themselves to have. I bet the shock only lasted for a couple of hours only to get back into reality, probably still deciding to ruin someone else’s life with as much ease as pressing the button that will lead another piece-of-here toward their own personal doomsday. And still that’s a controlled act, but what about reality that is here where abuse goes inadvertently flying by under our noses every single day.

     

    For that matter, this is doomsday to me: having to witness every single day through what we can read on the news, watch in documentaries, read from our very own minds is causing this world to go straight down the drain in  free fall with little to no common sense at all being integrated as who we are on Earth.  It should be a matter of alarm if you while watching the show decide that it would be fun to see the person suffer. And I questioned once the violent acts within the Roman circus with people that would rejoice seeing ‘beasts’ fighting gladiators and all forms of violence as entertainment – we already then knew what kept the masses going and happy: blood, violence, abuse, decay, that is the real show, our own game show wherein we’ve accepted that some must win and some must die. It is, to say the least, unacceptable.

     

    So, I breathe and realize that the only way we are ever going to get through this is through learning how to Self-Forgive, learning how to walk practical solutions for every single point of accepted and allowed inequality, separation and neglect toward another fellow being that I have participated in within my life. Resisting or Judging Self  Forgiveness is the only way to actually redeem ourselves from our constant and consistent hideous acts of self interest that we’ve gladly cultivated without a question.

     

    Time  to stop waiting around for a mighty and glorious end of the world as that is really just the festive act for the ones that are quite shitscared to face the reality of what we’ve become – I once was there in such lines, I’ve crossed the divide between projecting blame and hatred toward humanity and learned how to take self responsibility, which begins by me stopping m y own accepted and allowed continuation of separation and commit myself to LIVE, to integrate myself as a physical presence within my physical body wherein I learn how to honor each moment of life that I breathe and not participate in any further mind games that have the most consequential outflows upon life.

     

    We are an organization worldwide that exists for one single purpose: establishing life in Equality on Earth through a new political and economic system  and currently provides absolutely free self support for over 5 years now of which I I have been a participant of with my own living-process that can be read from head to toe in this same pages you are reading this on. We present a never before given solution for the world’s problems in one single presentation: the Equal Money System, which is essentially doing the least voted options in Derren Brown’s experiment with people: giving to each other what we would want for ourselves, sure these people never took into consideration that such being is themselves, and how anyone that suffers in this world for that matter is also ourselves.

    This means that it requires self education to learn how we can only thrive in humanity if we regard each other as equals, and for that we require to continue existing as a living-functional seed of life that has been planted in this murky sea of death and destruction. This opportunity is only lasting for a lifetime. If you decide that you would like to contribute to the minority that is currently deciding any form of benevolence upon others, join us, the more we unite in one single voice as common sense, life in equality and equal money, we can create further awareness of there being a new way of living, one where causing havoc in a being’s life is seen as the blatant abuse that it is and not something we can openly laugh at while hiding behind masks to prevent one from being seen and recognized for our true intentions that are the result of having abdicated our physical common sense in life to a mind that thrives of separation and conflict.

     

    “And if you Dare to Live in Self-Interest, without Considering All Other Life as Equal: there will be a Consequence. That Consequence will come, and be Visited upon each one According to what has been Allowed throughout All Time. Man tend to very easily Forget to what Extent he Participate in Disharmony, and will use All Kinds of Ways to Achieve a Higher Consciousness without doing any Restitution to Correct the Harm Accepted and Allowed and Done in his Past Life on Earth.” – Bernard Poolman  – Day 240: Apocalypse in Heaven – ADC – Part 87

     

    I’ve chosen to stop my own delusions and walk a self-corrective process in order to learn how to breathe instead of reacting with further anger while witnessing any form of neglect in our reality, as I see, realize and understand that me creating further experiences in my  mind  is no different to existing in the same mind-possessed mechanism that decides upon the very outcomes of life on Earth. unless we stop, this current highway to hell will only be walked fully with no ability to turn back.

    ‘Hopefully,’ 2012 will become the year that we stop indulging in any form of escapism and desires for change, but instead open our eyes to see to what extent we are actually causing our own doomsday and ‘end of days’  every single day that we reduce our living condition to a single budget sustained by a massive exploitation of resources and call that a ‘life.’

     

    We Must Declare what we are willing to accept and allow and what we are not. I declare that I am not willing to accept and allow myself to create a single form of division within me toward another human being in the form of these ‘invisible entities’ as thoughts that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as, and that this becomes the actual gift that I would want to receive from any other person: I stop expecting Change outside of myself and Live it As myself.

     

    As for Derren, I’ve learned important points in the past few weeks that I’ve been watching his shows online, it’s quite a brilliant way to expose humanity and made as attractive as any form of regular entertainment on national TV, that is genius – and a great source for money as well.

     

    Suggestion is: support yourself, learn what common sense in Self Honesty mean, as well as reading all our blogs from the people that are already living this as a living decision of who we really are:  Journey To Life 

     

    “We can take these Memories, these Buildings, our Physical Society and we can Change our Relationship to it, and to Each Other to be What is Best for All Life and we can Prevent Apocalypse. We can Change who we are, what we are, how we are, why we are – and a New World will be Born. This Way: the Old World will Pass Away and we’ll Create a New World. Then, we can Create a New Heaven because the Old One has already Passed Away.
    Will we do so? Unfortunately, at this stage – it will still take Quite a While.” – Bernard Poolman

     

    I will follow through in the next posts with respective self forgiveness for that usual impetus I get into whenever I react in any way toward this ‘mass’ that I belong to as humanity, which was the main reason I plead for the world to end in 2012, Self Responsibility and the ability to Stand Up is what I got.

    Desteni

    Desteni Forum

    Desteni I Process 

    “Join us at Desteni DIP Lite. The Journey to Change is Not Easy. If it was easy to Change, everybody would have. But because it is the most Difficult thing you’ll Ever Face, Real Change: very Few are Willing to Give Up their Lives as it exist now, to Give Up this One Life – to Produce on Earth a New World For All. That is the Great Service anyone can Give: Give up Self-Interest, to Serve the Interest of All, as what is Best for All Life. “  Bernard Poolman

    Equal Money System

    TakingMaskOff

    Taking Off the Mask – 2008

     

    Watch:

     

    Read:

    HEAR:


    230. Opposing My Roots

    Elitist Character: Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility– Opposing My Roots: It’s my family’s fault! Character – Writing.

    Continuing with:

    220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

     

    If I look back at where did I get these emotional imprints from, it’s quite obvious that they stem from our parents and immediate family which is the environment where we shaped ourselves from the very first 7 years of our life, determining ‘who we would be’ for the rest of our lifetime. We are currently aware that no couple of parents are absolutely aware of all the intricacies and considerations that must be regarded when it comes to preparing themselves to have a child and then to also Know How to Educate a Child in order to ensure that this absolutely important process of bringing another life into this world is considered as the most important task any human being can embark themselves on in this life.

    I got a very cool reality-check when listening to the Horse Interviews

    Birthing a new Life through the Eyes of a Horse

    wherein I realized to what extent we don’t honor each other and the totality of what is here as ourselves, I can say it with words how it was a cold-shock to realize how we are seen by animals as the example of How NOT to do/ be/ become or bring “life” on Earth, and instead how we should learn from them. Hearing the entire explanation certainly made me reconsider everything I had secretly loathed – well, most like openly loathed – about bringing children into this world and essentially, giving birth to new beings.

     

    In terms of the development of our emotions and feelings, it’s common to always try and ‘make the baby happy’ and imprinting the reward system with concealments like giving milk to the child so that he can ‘shut up’ – I know I would do that and get it right every time. I learned how to get people’s attention through throwing a tantrum until I was old enough to realize that I was not going to get anywhere if I would continue, and so I stopped. But there were aspects that were ‘normal’ at home with which I grew up with and never investigated why they were so ingrained. I blamed my own ‘apprehension’ at school or the pressure I would have from peers or anything else, but as far as I remember I was quite angry as a child, always desperate, nervous, fearful, irritable and easily annoyed.

     

    Throughout this process I’ve worked with aligning and correcting the patterns to get myself to a point of stability wherein I am certainly more ‘Here’ than creating this constant nervousness or apprehension/ worry/ stress that would lead to anxiety.

     

    I can see, however, that I had definitive influences from parental figures in terms of adopting ways to deal with situations like: being impatient, angry, yelling out when things would not work, and get even more irritated when someone tried to ‘calm me down’ as I’ve explained in some previous blogs. This single acceptance of me as an ‘angry person’ and a general irateness became part of ‘who I am’ in such a way that it became unnoticeable to me, I truly believed that one had to just go up in flames every time something was not done the right way/my way, or that I could place order and control through exerting anger upon others = instilling fear within them so that I could have a sense of security and confidence over others. This included intimidating my own parents later on and as I’ve explained, I have memories of being 3 years old and already becoming seriously angry-possessed. I of course don’t blame my parents because I am aware of how I simply acquired this way of being, adopted it as ‘who I am’ and became it without a question, I learned how to ‘make others feel bad’ for myself and the moment I would see they would go into this ‘helplessness’ with/ toward me when being in such irate states, I would put even more effort within my own anger-possessions, which is where the entire point of ‘you are crazy’ came up and developed this entire spitefulness mode within me toward… well virtually anything or anyone that would be ‘against’ my way of being/ looking at things or trying to ‘impose’ me anything- yes, authority issues if you call it that.

     

    I am aware that my mother would speak with me about these situations, but I just didn’t want to hear because the energy experience was more overwhelming than any form of common sense, and I would only shut up when I was too tired/ drained from throwing tantrums. Now, these points were not that often but, when I would get angry, it was quite hectic.

     

    I also remember looking at other kids in the supermarket, crying and throwing a tantrum toward their parents so that the parents would buy them toys, and I would feel as if I was ‘over that,’ already comparing myself to others and basing the ‘who I am’ in relation to other kids, but I would do the same, probably not about getting  a toy or something like that, sometimes I would throw a tantrum just to not have to go and play with other kids. Hence the whole thing of ‘you are not normal!’ (Read:  111. ‘Why aren’t you normal?‘)

    and yes, if you hear the Short Fuse Temper interview, you’ll get my life presented in an interview – with some differences but essentially the mechanism is there Life Review – Short Fused Temper Tantrums « EQAFE

     

    Now, the memory that comes to mind is my mother calling my father several names indicating he had some type of anger management problems.  Of course I didn’t know what a mental disorder was nor what the words Actually meant, but just hearing her calling him that became an imprint that I was absolutely unaware of I had picked it up at some quantum level, and the words I remember her saying were ‘neurotic’ and ‘hysteric.’ This is an indication of how we actually speak without any form of awareness of how these emotional outbursts could be elevated to a range of ‘mental disorder’ in a soft-blow manner. It’s been actually absolutely cool to walk a mind construct in relation to my father which I partially shared in this blog, and got to know a lot about myself from that, even shared with him about my anger issues discoveries and solutions.

     

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    But, going back to the words  I would hear as neurotic, hysteric and others  indicated that there was a problem. I got to be quite aware of diseases from an early age as well as having a grand mother that was sick thought my entire lifetime for various reasons of her tormented life – which I have realized I kind of picked up in relation to this ‘depression’ and self-belittlement as well as the way she lead her life of isolation but at the same time existing in this cry-out for help. Lol, she irritated me a lot, I would irritate her just because I could. I have this memory of going to her house and just being ‘in the mood’ of irritating her and so, she was quite a ‘mess’ in her room and she would always have this entire box with medicines in it, she was always on medication – of which I remember also making fun of  all the meds she’d take as well – and I saw that it all was quite messy and what I did was: grabbed the box and ordered all her pills and medicine containers in what was a ‘perfect manner’ according to me. I wanted to ‘do good’ but at the same time I knew it would somehow piss her off, so, it did. She got quite pissed off and Marlen went into the mode of ‘I will never do anything good for her ever again!’ and so our relationship went on within that vein.

     

    I always tried to ‘play funny’ with her because she was always in this irritable state. Hence my dislike for her was mostly a fear of becoming like her and I can see how till this day every time that I want things to get done As I Say, When I Say it is an indication of me playing out my grandmother and as such my mother and somehow my father as well. She was the type of person that played strong to raise her children while my grand father had several other children with other wives, so the entire victimization character and helplessness was coming form there as well as many other points like how to get people’s attention through being sick/ causing conflict in order to have power over others and so forth.

    We developed this half-joking way of pissing each other off when we would meet. She would laugh and I would laugh but I can only have some few memories of us having any real conversations, which would mostly be about her memories/ her life/ getting to know her a bit, and that’s the end of our relationship. She died when I wasn’t in this country. I never bothered to go see her grave or anything like that and I see that when I bring her up there’s still some scorn toward her for whatever reasons I have secretly blamed her for, such as causing much distress in my mother, which I then saw as the reason why my other would be possessed and then take it out on us in one way or another. All these constant worrying, being infatuated with things, obsessed, hypochondriac, fearful became aspects that I have played out as well and can identify I would judge of her all the time.

     

    Obviously, this is nothing personal since we are all aware we have become our minds through acceptance and allowance and that my point of responsibility is ensure I hold no grudge, idea or belief of ‘them’ doing something ‘onto me,’ but more like Me realizing, seeing and understanding how I accepted and allowed myself to imprint, copy and transfer their personas into myself and play it out, believing this was ‘who I was.’ This became also every clear when I developed an antagonism toward her or any other family member: they are able to show me where I have separated myself from ‘my roots’ through playing the opposite but, in the end, never taken responsibility for it.

     

    Another point is that I never went to a psychologist except for one time when I ‘asked for help for my friend’ with my high school’s psychologist and all I can take from her is one vital point. She said ‘who is here asking for help: You or Him?’ – and so it burned my ego out for a moment to realize that I was in fact needing help, but I had refused to do so because of fearing having some form of actual problem, I feared obviously having to be seriously taken as mentally disturbed or having some problem. I don’t know how much I fooled myself within this but, to my eyes even at that time, we all were playing phony characters while inside, when being alone, we all felt equally sad, disgraceful, powerless, ugly, hating ourselves for whatever reason but everyone would just play dumb and happy to create a masquerade, and as much as I would be aware of this, I played along as well pretty much out of fear of having to open myself up to anyone about my experience. That’s one of the reasons I begun writing a lot but, without any form of common sense and actual self support, I would only go round in circles pouring out my emotions and feelings in several notebooks without reaching any form of change, because I was STILL believing myself to be IT.

     

    This is how due to the extent that I would hear about people going on medications and having ‘mental disorders’ I simply feared getting that but at the same time made it my personal way of being wherein I would entertain myself with these ‘outrageous thoughts’ and way of looking at life which was also a mechanism to cope with everything that I had deemed as frightening to get to. Which includes fearing eventually going senile and insane and all of the illnesses that would indicate some form of mental disorder. I guess we all have that for that matter when thinking about old age and deterioration of our sanity. So, what’s the way to make peace with it? Turn the fear into a fascination, turn the fear into something  you can have some ‘control over’ apparently – hence my story. I never took a single pill for any form of mental disorder since that was absolutely seen as taking regular drugs by my family. But I never reached out for any form of support to understand my experiences other than equally ‘lost’ friends with whom I created bonds that lead me to only upgrade my self-beliefs. This was so until I got to Desteni.

     

    So, this proves how also due to knowledge and information and fear of having to be labeled as depressed or having some form of chronic anxiety (read your Wikipedia it’s the new way of calling ‘neurosis’  “Instead, the disorders once classified as neuroses are now considered anxiety disorders”)

     

    I am here walking this process to take responsibility for All the knowledge and information that I imprinted as ‘who I am’ based on environmental/ familial/ peer influence of which we are all affected by even if we ‘like it or not.’ This is one of the reasons why it must be understood that: unless we care for each other as equals and ensure a general Well Being and ‘Mental Health’  in society,  our current social-insanity will still seep through our educational systems, our entire system configuration that is based on a constant process of instilling FEAR instead of ways and support to Live. Hence it is virtually impossible for any person to be absolutely ‘sane’ and ‘normal’ in this  world wherein the very mechanism of how the mind worked was not at all in accordance to living life, but exists as the very Evil / Reverse of Life that we all accepted and allowed ourselves to become. And obviously to make a business out of it is a double mindfuck to say the least.

     

    Long story, but will work with it bit by bit as quite a ‘few’ points came up today. How did I get to this? Word in the dictionary: kinsfolk – and so, got to see the points I had deliberately side viewed from my past until now.

     

    Within this all we can see how we made a ‘big deal’ out of these emotional experiences in our mind, self created at all times. Equated them to points I had to try and ‘sort out myself’ without knowing I was reinforcing them, instead of ever realizing it was me and my mind participation that can be self corrected. We’ve essentially made a disease of a relationship that was already in no way ‘harmonious’ such as what the mind represents in relationship to the physical body.

    And all of this is certainly something to take Self Responsibility for.

    — This will continue  with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application on the afore mentioned points

     

     

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    Blogs:

    DeBA(I)Ting Life (Part 2): DAY 230

    Day 230: The White Light and the Legion of Angels – ADC – Part 77

     

    Interviews:


    212. Opposing the System= Act of Ignorance

       

      The Revolutionary Character

       

    As we have walked our own life reviews as our own process, I realized that my immediate incorporation within Desteni had to do with agreeing on establishing a betterment for humanity in all ways. However, what I’ve heard in interviews on Eqafe is how most of us had seen ‘the evil’ in this world in one way or another, had experienced it ourselves which is why we decided to stand up for Life in Equality. I could not make much sense of that if I only took my life into consideration. I mean, yes as I mentioned in the last blog 211. Why is Life a Struggle? Why Can’t All be just HAPPY? there were times of financial distress at home, but it was never to the extent of actually having a tough life or going through any other form of suffering as many people do. So, what had I witnessed then in my reality that piled up to a desire for this world to change?  Being living in a third world country, seeing corruption everywhere, people cheating to get the most, that became quite an obvious point for me all the time to witness in my life, even from the time when I was a little girl and supposed to be informed about cartoons or stuff like that, I was already more interested in knowing what the hell could lead a person to suffer or have ‘problems in life’ if you will, more involved in adult talks than what I diminished as petty little childish games that most kids my age were into. I realize how I missed out on my childhood by wanting to ‘know about the world’ too fast, yet again it became a vital aspect within my life in order to form a certain criteria toward ‘who I am’ within this world-  obviously still limited to the confinement of my own TV set with news and information coming from it, and later on the information I got in my school about world economics and political systems with a great professor whom till this day, I would clone and give one to all people since most of the information that we are now watching in documentaries that ‘expose the truth’ was given to me by him, I guess I can say that ‘knowing the truth’ partly also lead me to see that there was something absolutely wrong going on wherein people were mostly unaware of the actual mechanisms that make this world go round.

    So, my own reality check in this country – Mexico – seeing how the business world functioned, how our money had suddenly ‘lost three zeros’ and no one made a single comment other than ‘practicality purposes’ about it, being aware of endless protests, crime, shootings, robberies, assaults, kidnappings, drug trafficking and the list goes on and on, made me realize that there had to be a way to establish a solution in this world, and within that, I became a character for a while which was linked to ‘wanting change’ but mostly, being absolutely unaware of how me protesting against some governor’s pedophilia could make in any way a real change in the way he would govern the city.  I just tagged along with people that saw that as incorrect and followed through with endless talks about how ‘wrong’ the system was – as I have explained also in past blogs, all based in actual ignorance of how the system works, really.   And so I begin with explaining some of the most prominent points that come to mind today.

     

    Red Fears

    I remember my first approach and interaction with anything having to do with Communism while growing up. A friend of my mother had come from Russia – then USSR – to escape the poverty she was experiencing in her birthplace, my mother was her dentist and so I became aware of her being from another place due to her funny Spanish accent, I’m talking about me being probably 5 years old or so. My parents explained to me about Communism being this government-modality that was very detrimental for people’s lives, people were going poor really fast and so she had decided to come her to make a ‘better living’ condition for herself. I had the same approach with some other older lady that was also a friend of ours and she was from Chile, had come to Mexico as a refugee in the 80’s  – it was interesting seeing people escaping from their country for one or another reason. I didn’t question that, nor did I have much understanding about the world back then, but I do see that the communist reference became part of me integrating the so called red-fear from believing that: if communism is what the USSR was living in and people are wanting to escape their situation, then communism is no good.  Seems fair when it comes to logic and the information one is given about a subject, which most of the cases, we simply engulf as some sort of ‘informed decision’ with regards to what we agree or disagree in our world, little do we even ask if such information is valid in all contexts – hence the personalities built around acquired and almost inherited points of view/ opinions as the building blocks of our current division and separation in reality, missing out anything that is Real.

     

    When growing up and being around 10 or so I knew that some artists here, which have become some form of Mexican icons like Frida Kahlo, Rivera and David Alfaro Siqueiros – whom I came to be very fond of while studying art – were supporters and militants of the Mexican Communist Party here. Siqueiros had been part of the military as well during the revolution – which is interesting how the people that came to be part of the military and later on became artists – Siqueiros and Beuys as a parallel point – supported new political systems that were based on a more ‘just society.’  Anyways, I realized that there was something really ‘controversial’ about the whole Communist word, not to mention that all the people that were supporters of socialism and communism in my environment were dubbed by my parents as mediocre – most of the times and other words on the same vein – simply because to them, Communism meant a rusty poor Cuba and an impoverished Russia.

     

    I grew up then rather not wanting to ‘make up my mind’ about communism, and leaving it aside as something that I would somehow later on in life come to make an informed decision about. I kept a fair idea of how Marx’s communism was never implemented and all that was done was simply creating another form of control of society in very non-best-for-all ways. And that was it. Later on we begun having a lot of feedback about the Equal Money System being something linked to Communism. So obviously what must be understood here is how then Communism has been portrayed as the counter act, the ‘evil guy’ standing as the counteract toward Capitalism. What was mostly not known is how Communism had become a convenient boogie-man/ fear point to maintain people locked within the propagandistic idea that capitalism is Life, that capitalism is the best way for humanity and within that, using it as a bastion, a legion and a force that was imposed in several countries as another way of masking out colonialism in the name of ‘progress,’ which is what capitalism came to be defined as for the most part.

     

    Corruption

    When I became aware of the world system as in there being a president in our nation, one of the so-called most corrupted presidents in our ‘modern era’ was in office. I grew up having constant references to the NAFTA and solidarity, progress, under development, devaluation and later on crisis– all these words were constant imprints from the news, while always hearing adult talks and hearing their complains about the government, the corruption. Later on it was the Zapatistas making their armed movement in 1994 and I was only 7 years old when I had quite a formed picture of our country definitely not being alright, lots of poverty and uprisings around and something had to be done, also became aware of how a lot was being left unsaid on the TV as well.  I knew Revolution was also not the way since all those paintings I had seen from the revolution indicated lots of guns, people with blood, kids crying and certainly no change had come from that time – which was early 20th century here in México. Another reference then was that my father was in Mexico City studying when the 1968 student ‘revolution’ and demonstrations took place where thousands of them were killed mercilessly by the government, such an event is still remembered till this day. He would tell this story along the lines of how unnecessary it was to create such a problem in the first place. He ended up being in jail for two days just because of ‘being around there’ and having no direct participation in it. I vowed to then never take part of such acts as I feared I could get myself in such problem as well. And never did, for the most part.

     

    Murdering those that dare to Stand Up

    I became aware of the murder of a presidential candidate here in 1994, he was apparently murdered because of his attempt to make a real change in this country, which was obviously against his political party’s intention. That murder became an entire ‘mystery’ while most of the people actually knowing that it was an actual complot by his own party. A world so cruel, how could that be? Killing someone that was up for change? What?  – Yes, I was only 7 years old and I remember very well the entire story and it also marked me ‘for life,’ how this person aiming to be a president being killed during his political campaign, shot to the head. 

     

    Going back to Siqueiros that stood up within a political Communist party to promote a change in this country, he ended up in jail and arrested several other times for openly attacking the president and generally opposing this entire system. Watching his paintings in the Palacio de Bellas Artes allowed me to see one thing: there was something really wrong going on and I wasn’t aware of it, because I had seen it as ‘history’ as something that is ‘long gone,’ little did I know that the same processes were pretty much still ‘alive’ within the entire configuration that this system is operating with and as. We might not be carrying bullets on our chests or wearing sombreros, however the essence of the social injustice is still here while having a major system of sugar-coating the abuse through entertainment/ media that has made of this world a silenced agony and destruction, covered up colors in bright HDMI screens and entertaining masses with iPhone upgrades where we have all have become just silent self-abusers in an abusive world. Well, why have we feared standing up? Due to our history, however what ‘type’ of standing up is it that we have come to fear? The one that has created an open opposition to the system. Little did we care to investigate that there is absolutely another way to walk in this world, be within the system and implement a change.

     

    Crucified for Standing Up

    The problem with all these revolutionaires was that: opposing the system, begin dissidents and that will obviously always only upgrade the system to silence any form of opposition that attempts against its own survival. Hence the way is not ‘giving the finger’ to the system, but being within the system.

    The fears I see related to this are mostly related to seeing how people that became part of political parties that stood up for what was defined as communism were always threatened to death, ostracized and in the end, I see that fear can be latent when one is still Opposing the system. It is so common in this country nowadays to kill anyone that dares to speak more than the usual, however it is the same point: obviously people will try and silence that which reveals their corrupted ways of going through the system, that’s an obvious survival-mode tactic. However, if we stand as a group of people that propose simply another way and form of creating a new system within this world based on life in Equality, we can certainly see that there is no need to ‘oppose’ anyone, but just present an alternative of what is possible.

     

    Fear is used as the greatest form of control so that any person considering ‘changing the system’ is immediately warned about the perils that such actions bring. Fear and warnings on this subject have been ‘conveniently’ placed and existent throughout our lives when learning about history and revolutions, just another form of control which is what revolutions have actually served for: a great warning to the population in the ways of ‘this is what happens to you when you dare stand up’ – little did the people participating in such revolutions know what their desires for change would end up being used as fear-propaganda for people to remain ‘calm and quiet’ where they are, going by within a system that certainly does not support life  yet fearing doing any move or proposal to change it, because of having this constant imprint of fear dying due to Standing up for what is best for all. However, were and are our current revolutions best for all? Are wars and opposition what is BEST FOR ALL? No, not at all. This is how and why the Equal Money System is the most Sane proposal that exists within our world currently to create an actual change that is permanent and sustainable within our world  Without having to oppose anyone or fighting against any form of regime or government.  Democracy must not be an act of retaliation, vengeance or opposition toward the ‘evil one,’ it must be an actual decision to exert one’s will to be a part of a world system that stands up for All Life in Equality, for that which we All know and are aware of is Best for All, what we have All desired but have Feared standing up from – it only takes one decision in Self Responsibility to do so.

     

    Activism and Revolutions

    All these stories, the history we learn in our books must be reviewed within the consideration of how it has been all conveniently preserved in order to instill fears within humanity to not make a change – perfect weapon of mass control: fear for your life if you stand up for Life in Equality, for ‘Freedom’ and ‘Justice’

    We are here, individuals with common sense, taking Self Responsibility toward our world and reality, realizing the acceptance and allowance of the world system that has lead us to this point at the moment wherein it is a matter of actual life or death, not only for individuals, but for Every Being Equally if we don’t get to an agreement to do and live within a system that will benefit all beings equally. This is thus not a matter of Revolutions, Oppositions, Protests, Flipping Fingers at your Presidents, firing up flags and pictures of leaders as a sign of inconformity, this is about dedicating our lives to first Educate ourselves HOW human history has developed, how we have accepted the issues that exist nowadays as an inheritance of the past, how we are the ones that must take responsibility and within this, create a political, economical and social solution that benefits ALL Equally, yes including those that are currently on the top of the world – otherwise, we already know where this fight between classes leads us to: nowhere but further upgrades within the same system of abuse.

     

    This is why we say Activism is Futile as all revolutions and people that have ‘stood up’ for anything in this world have been killed, ostracized and exterminated by the system.  This is why we have explained that the real revolution begins within us, individually, the moment that we stop only caring for our individual lives and consider the whole in our thoughts, words and deeds – that’s the greatest common sensical ‘weapon’ toward everything that is promoted within this world, a ‘white glove’ smack on the face as they say here which means, using Common Sense = What is Best for ALL as the principle to live by that will eliminate the constant desire to be ‘above’ others, to maim another’s opportunity to get some form of benefit in order for you to get it first. All of these individualistic tactics is what is promoted within capitalism. We can decide to change it by standing up for Life in Equality, what a better way to slowly but surely dismantle an entire empire founded upon self-interest and selfish acts of greed. This implies that Changing Human Nature is required, and this is why and how we are walking at Desteni as the primary point of understanding the relationship that exists between ourselves as physical bodies, our mind and the current creation of this reality With the actual, real and practical solutions that each one of us, individual by individual are able to take on in order to establish a real change that will be Here as a certainty for generations to come.

    Now, this is something that I am definitely willing to live for and by for the rest of my life, there is nothing else to do, be or become but standing up for what is best for all, this is the law of our being and this is what must be pursued equally by any sane person left in this world. This is thus not being a revolutionary in the sense of opposing or fighting the system, this is about changing the way live is being ‘lived’ currently and be part of the group of people that is willing to implement it until it is done.

    Amen.

     

    Self Forgiveness in any left overs of fears toward standing up for Life in Equality will come in the next post. Thanks for reading.

    Revolución

     

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    209. Successful Living = Capitalist Brainwash

    Continuing with the Elitist Character

     

    Continuing with Self Forgiveness begun in the last post 208. Doing Good as Positive Credit-Rewards

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to emulate the people throughout history that have been quite famous/ recognized in terms of creating a revolution, creating massive movements to oppose a particular system and within that, create a ‘name’ for myself and glorify myself within it wherein I was willing to live by the rule of ‘the cause justifies the means’ and in that, become someone of/ with power/ influence in the world, not realizing how this was pursued due to the positive experience as a form of  desire to suit my interests/ my own benefit, and within this place more emphasis on the rewards I would get than the actual cause/ work to be done, which I saw it as a weakness that could be a certainty if I allowed myself to be dishonest – which even now I see could only exist if I would still be fooled by the mirage one is able to buy with money and call that a ‘successful living’ and make it as if all the neglect toward all life within that was not relevant, which is something one cannot turn a blind eye on any longer.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define power/ money/ wealth as something quite tempting at some stage when I was able to taste an inkling of what that could be like, and enjoying the energy, the attention, the recognition, the comfort, the luxuries, the preferential treat that I would be able to experience as an energetic experience of ‘feeling good’ within me, linking this to a justified happiness because I was willing to play the role in the game – so to speak – of standing in a leadership position of whatever I would have to do and within that, still hold dearly to my own personal interest of escalating social positions and being ‘at the top,’ without realizing that all leaders, all people ‘at the top’ end up mostly being corrupted by the power that such ‘top’ means – thus this is a matter of self honesty wherein I simply desired to be that person/ that role due to the power such position would bring as a form of social recognition instead of actually using that position to get to a point of absolute self-directive will, wherein one has the ability to support as many beings as possible to equalize and dignify the lives of all, which is definitely what is required to be done in this world.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore how anyone that has stood up in the past in order to create a change in this world, has been exterminated, decimated, ostracized or punished wherein I realize that the way is then not to oppose the system, but stand within it and also within this, realizing how any position of power would only exist if there is a way to continue perpetuating such ‘power’ which is through money and money is the point of abuse in itself. I realize that all the ‘good things’ that one has linked to money is mostly existing as an incentive to continue perpetuating the current sense of ‘freedom’ and ‘liberty’ that we’ve been brainwashed to link to any form of social-progress in/as capitalism, while in fact, all of the things that one can buy and consume with money/ power, is the product of abuse, the product of slavery, the product of the rape of the Earth, which I am not willing to support and give further attention as an incentive to move in this world.

     

    I realize that it is mostly impossible for me to now link any form of power  as wealth/ more money than the majority as an equivalent of abuse and as such, we can only direct all money to fund a cause that will enable Life to be recognized as the only value in this world. This means, using money to finalize money as a world system of exchange of abuse and make-believe values – and instead, transform Money into Equal Money wherein we can all realize to what extent we have imposed our own separation as an energetic experience onto this world and our own physical bodies, which is how we have created money as a set of make-believe values that have only a point of reference and understanding within our minds, according to the values we have given to ourselves and everything in separation of ourselves, creating relationships of Energy instead of realizing our Equality and Oneness as Life.

     

    I realize that a form of directive will must exist in order to stand as an example of what it is to deal with what is considered ‘power’ at the moment and not get lost by it. This implies at all times realizing the reason and principle I stand by as Life, which is immovable as the constant and consistent breath that is the real and only power that I can exist as, which means, the real power I have is here as myself as my physical body and every moment of breath that I commit myself to dedicate myself to establish a way to Learn how to Live in this world as Equals.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harbor these images of experiences in my past wherein I saw what it would be like to have lots of money and be in a position of recognition by many, as something that I enjoyed at an egotistical level, without even looking at the reality that is here as the majority that is certainly having no access to any form of luxury or ‘preferential treat’ and comfort that money brings – thus

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enticed by an experience of ‘wealth’ as comfort/ benefits/ preferential treat, as this experience that I wanted to have for the rest of my life, which is how I came to understand how rich people actually experience themselves when having it all, and within that, having it very easy to get lost within the benefits that one get with and while having money which is in fact so if one neglects reality and loses perspective of it while being high on the experience of money.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to learn how to ‘aim high’ as a constant ad-vice in my life, wherein my abilities and capabilities were being envisioned toward positions and careers wherein I would be able to get ‘the most money’ and the moment that I opted for a career wherein ‘the most money’ was not a certainty, was from the starting point of ‘spiting the system’ that I had desired to conquer  at first. I realize that all extremes are just forms of self sabotage, because  when I was aiming for my ultimate desires of fame/ fortune and when I went into an absolute denial of money/ this system, I was only still seeking to satisfy what seemed ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ to me, based on morals that were construed by my own preference of ‘who I wanted to be’ based on a certain character in society, which in the end or the last one was getting to be a famous person that could speak and change the world while still remaining in a certain position of power and recognition, just like sociologists, linguists, political analysts or even financial advisors would do.

     

    I realize that the only acceptable direction that I can give myself is to use what I am able and capable of and direct it to an outcome that will benefit all beings equally, and that there is no ‘true satisfaction’ within ‘having it all’ because all of such ‘things/ pleasures/ luxuries’ are the product of our current world system wherein there can be no wealth without abuse, which is what we are mostly unaware of when owning things and not seeing the entire process that are involved for it all to be these sellable items that we are able to acquire/buy in stores.  I realize that when looking at all ideas of wealth/ power/ money, I was never taught about the actual process that it takes to create such forms of  ‘wealth’ and why exactly they were valued as such. I realize that I lived my life deliberately not wanting to look at the ‘ugly aspect’ of everything that I would be able to buy/ consume, because of ‘feeling bad’ about it – but, within this self-manipulation process, I then turned a blind eye to that which is the foundation to any form of power, which is enslavement and abuse of that which I am one and equal to as well.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be enticed by the roles that I would see on the TV by people that had throughout history, apparently, trying to ‘make a change’ in this world and still be having fun, still be famous, rich wealthy – or the direct opposite with people like Gandhi that lead me to think that maybe I had to ‘give it all up’ – I realize that both extremes are just not workable, are not practical either and that the only acceptable way is to establish a relationship with money in a way that I don’t see it as a form of ‘power/ wealth’ but as a means to establish that which will enable the actual benefit for all beings in a constant and consistent manner.

     

    I realize that money – just as anything else in my reality – must be equalized within me in order to not be moved by any form of ‘desire for more’ to become my incentive within reality. I realize that money is a means to establish a world system that will be best for all – and as such, we can only buy and consume what we require to live and direct it to fund the solution that will be sustainable as best for all in the long run. Any form of greed within ourselves is mostly stemming from how we were educated to always seek for more/ want more/ escalate the social ladder more and more. This implies that, who we have become as the result of having capitalist diapers so to speak, is the desire for more, the linkage of happiness to consumerism, to buying and accumulation of wealth/ saving as our purpose in life, when Life has Nothing to do with that, nor happiness can be linked to any form of benefit that only stands within the constrains of a system that only allows a fraction of the population to aspire such ‘happiness’- state.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link luxuries, comfort, preferential treat, specialness, exclusivity as aspects that I aimed to get in my life due to how I was educated to get to a position of power and within that, ‘satisfy’ myself/ my life and ‘accomplish’ many things that would be ‘praised’/ recognized/ highly rewarded with money as a sign of success, which is why I ended up despising money – apparently – and revolting toward all the expectations built toward me, to the point where I am now wherein I am not satisfying my design/ life path and instead, veering toward a best for all outcome, which is precisely deliberately stating that any form of satisfaction that I sought was a selfish act of self-indulgence in the benefits/ treatment that money represents within the system for my own personal glory. I realize that the primary personalities I have built as myself have money as foundation, have a desire for recognition as foundation and a desire to be ‘more’ as foundation.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to build the entirety of who I am according to a future projection of having a lot of money/ being in a position of power and recognition as the motive/ motor of my life. This is how today, I realize that I must move myself as a physical being, as the recognition of who I really am as life – and that has nothing to do with consciousness as money as a driving force for further energy. Who I am as breath is consistent and constant and there is nothing that can ‘beat’ that,  as it is what is real. I realize that money and the current perceived power is the result of our collective negligence and brainwash accepted as ‘world system.’ I realize that the moment that we understand money as consciousness, there is no way we can be ‘moved’ by it, as it represents the gateway to further experiences that can only be existent as mind-experiences of so called happiness,, bliss, enjoyment, fulfillment – all of them only existent as energies built with energies and energy is the result of the entire friction and separation from ourselves as life that we have been and become until this day, which means: the abuse of ourselves as life.

     

    This is how only through equalizing money will we veer our eyes to look at that which is real, that which has Always been here but we ‘agreed’/ a-greed  to cover up with further ideas of wealth/ power/ benefits within a system that allowed such delusions as something acceptable and real and even more so, linked to ‘positivity’ without understanding a single thing of how all things ‘positive’ came to be within our existence –

     

    Thus – I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how every single desire that I had for ‘more,’ for ‘wealth’ within society was based on the collective acceptance of wealth as something positive, as a synonym of happiness and as such, believe that I had to conquer the world in order to be the most successful no matter what – without realizing that in such desire life was never part of my consideration, nor were any other beings involved within it, nor was any acknowledgement of the world’s situation taken into consideration or was deliberately side-viewed to create a personality that would be ‘acceptable’ such as the character of doing ‘something good’ for humanity – but at the same time, having and obtaining all the benefits that I believed would come with it.  I realize that this energetic imprint was gotten from all those bits of moments of benefits, luxury, comfort, special treatment within my life that became these bits of heaven that I sought to re-enact throughout my life through people, through situations and in this, reducing life to a mere experience at an energetic level, reducing life to a file of positive-experiences that I could then use as a testimony of ‘having had a good life.

     

    I realize that these experiences are only created in my mind – and that are only real as the illusion that I accepted and allowed myself to believe was real in such moments of experiencing what it was to have money/ benefits in this reality.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to conveniently and systematically save these desires ‘for later’ and hiding them as if they were ‘not important’ within me and my process due to seeing the entire experience as something that wasn’t relevant within my life, apparently, not realizing how when opening up the point, the desire to have that became quite an ingrained aspect of ‘who I am’ as a personality in itself that I became unaware of, seeking to become someone to get that amount of money and benefits.

     

    I realize that all my desire to hide myself, to not be seen, to seclude and isolate myself at some point in my life, was essentially due to me not getting  what I wanted/ my ‘dreams’ come true and as such, I am aware of the extremist nature that I have played out, wherein I want it all or non and within this, when it comes to being patient for a point to develop, I simply get desperate and ‘give up,’ believing it won’t work, without ever having had enough patience to stand as the constant and persistent breath to allow something to develop, to work on something that will have a ‘fruitful outcome’ as the accumulation of the effect of constant and consistent work on something.

     

    I realize that the conditions within our world have lead us to only ‘move’ if there is some form of benefit in the way, however, when one realizes that the ‘pay’ for such movement can only be money, and money is the point that we are here to reform/ change and align to a best for all outcome, I cannot possibly be moved by the same abuse that I am standing up to expose and reform, as well as realizing that once one decides to live by a principle, there is no way you can fool yourself and have a ‘peace of mind’ about it while knowing that your intentions are others – that simply cannot exist when one is aligning the totality of who one is as one and equal because in that, any form of power is an immediate dishonesty and self-deception of course.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to even create a double headed ‘me’ wherein toward others in my life wherein I would be presenting myself as an ‘anti-system’ person, a detractor of capitalism – yet in the inside still waiting to have the same kind of benefits I would witness were able to be obtained even by being a detractor of capitalism – which is through positions of academicism and intellectuals that were and are still doing this.

     

    I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to desire the lives of the sociologists and political analysts, economists and historians that I met throughout my life, creating the inherent desire to be like them with all the knowledge, all the understanding of the system and getting great money to live in my ‘dream-like way’ with things that I learned were ‘acceptable’ to have and own in my reality, while being in a position of ‘opposing capitalism.’ I realize that these seemingly ‘unimportant’ aspects of my past became pillars for me to direct my life to be and become a particular character that could justify wealth/ power while apparently ‘standing up’ for a change in the system, which was mostly desiring to make money within the system out of opposing it through theory, through art, through knowledge and information as I became aware many people does.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire a sybarite type of lifestyle, the same type of lifestyle that I got to be aware of from mostly intellectuals I met in my life experience, which made it an acceptable way to become rich/ powerful/ be recognized for doing ‘something’ to ‘save the world/ change the system’ while having a top luxurious home, a top luxurious type of ‘organic lifestyle’ and related types of businesses – mostly in the cultural aspect of society – that I became aware of as a possibility for me to remain as a ‘good person’ at the eyes of society, while benefitting from the money in capitalism just as the most self-proclaimed capitalist supporter would do.

     

    I see and realize that there is no way to mask ourselves trying to play the ‘good character’ at the eyes of others, when the desires behind such character were the same as anyone else that would be openly willing to abuse to get the most benefit out of money/ power/ wealth – because I see and realize that as long as money becomes a driving force in itself for personal interest = there is a problem and lack of integrity and within this, a deliberate act of ignorance and or negligence toward the understanding of how money operates in this world.

    I realize that the only sane way to direct our money is to support ourselves to continue doing what we are doing as Desteni and the Equal Money System, which is the unique platform within this world that promotes a world system change based on principles that stand for All Life Equally beginning with Self-Education  – thus there cannot be ay form of self interest in a selfish mode within this – it can only be directed as and by principle – and in this I absolutely trust myself as being able and capable of living this, because I am aware of how futile it would be to ‘fall’ for something that is as ephemeral as money, as make-believe as money, as the actual nonsense that money has become when it comes to adding a certain value to what is here and a positive experience stemming from that which is of this Earth in order to establish a form of control to it. It is Unacceptable and quite delusional from us human beings to not see how we have dug our own grave due to giving money the power of ‘god’ that doesn’t exist but only through the self-righteousness to abuse the reality that is here in the name of success and happiness as an acceptable way to abuse the world and each other.

     

    I commit myself to live and realize the dedication to life exists here in every breath and any other form of distraction from what is here as the simplicity of life, is capitalist brainwash, is familial brainwash, is ingrained patterns that I have accepted and allowed myself to become as my mind. I assist and support myself to bring myself back to breath as the physical every time that I experience a ‘longing’ for something ‘more’ than myself here in the moment, as that which is real and who I really am, as ALL that is Here as Life.

     

    I commit myself to expose how money is the product of the knowledge and information we have imposed onto life – and as such, we are directly responsible and capable of aligning money to a best for all equation that dignifies Life in reality for all beings.

     

    I commit myself to expose wealth/ power as the actual evil they represent within this current world system, which is conveniently being sugar coated to neglect the actual processes behind such wealth.

     

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    181. Waiting for the Ideal Moment to Write

    Another point is how I have seen how I have this idea that If I am working on something, I have to ‘shut down’ from anything else in order to just focus on this one single task to complete, no matter how long it takes – which is an aspect of my personality linked to being rather extremist when I commit myself to do something, and within this leaving behind/ not giving attention/ not maintaining the rest of my activities with proper attention. Somehow it is as if I want to ‘redeem’ myself, my initial procrastination and getting it done all the way, in one go – which is once again based on a consideration of the mind in me wanting to ‘make up for it’ instead of simply continuing to now do it on a regular basis.

    This, as ‘seemingly unimportant’ as it might be, it actually constitutes one of the most used excuses and justifications to not work on this, because in my mind I have made this idea or belief that I must simply get it done in one go and not having to do ‘anything else BUT the task at hand’ – wherein things like ‘oh I won’t have time to eat’ and wanting to shut down any form of communication with others as if this was a distraction emerge, thus it is a recurrent thinking process wherein I hold this ‘ideal’ of having the time and disposition to do so. By ‘time’ I mean having an entire day or more of just having to focus on that, not having to do any other point of responsibility and essentially it’s like being secluded in order to ‘get it done,’ which is of course extremist and in separation of reality wherein if my body would for example make such drastic decisions such as ‘not wanting to digest my food for one day,’ I could have gotten ill or even died for that. Therefore, it is a mind-delusional requirement and almost a requisite that I’ve created as part of linking this particular writing to some ‘book writing’ and ‘being a writer’ as the ideal of not having to do Anything else but writing.

    This is backchat that I mostly play out in a self-accepted manner in both ways: the ‘negative’ and the ‘positive’, meaning, that I’ve made it alright to simply drop a particular task for undefined amount of time and/ or go to the extreme of wanting to JUST dedicate myself absolutely and completely to that one single task to ‘get it done’ and forget about everything else, wherein I then create an experience of seeing ‘everything else’ as a nuisance and an obstacle to ‘achieve my aim’ – even within the wording we can see how there’s an energetic drive to it, wherein I am not really considering the process of writing myself as a self-supportive process, but mostly only following my own needs in relation to trying to ‘make up for it’ as the amount of time I did not regularly spent working on it – regularly being the solution here – and instead, go into the extreme of wanting to get it done as fast as possible.

    However, the ‘thing’ that happens is that I end up only seeking for this ‘one whole day that I can dedicate myself to it to get it done’ and eventually not get to ‘that whole day’ as I have obviously several points to attend as my responsibility throughout the day.

    The picture that came to mind is from that movie ‘the Hours’ and how the character of Virginia Wolf would spend her days in her room writing and not really having to attend anything else – or so I got that ‘idea’ from the movie of course – I remember my backchat within that was ‘How cool! She only has to focus on writing and have her cool time to go out for a walk (read the blog: 175. My Sacred Time of the Day) and just write and write and write’ awesome, I want to be like that! And so within this, I created this belief ever since then that, in order for me to focus on some ‘writing project’ I basically require the life of a ‘writer’ as I used to read about the lives of all these writers that I admired and how they would wake up really early to write and then follow throughout their day doing the same. So all of these and many more are background conditions, not to mention the ‘inspiration’ that I thought was required to write as well. So we can call these the ‘ideals for perfect writing time’ which are based on other people’s lives and conditions within what I have judged as an ‘easy life’ of simply having to indulge in writings and seemingly having others doing their responsibilities at hand, such as taking care of the house, making money or even taking care of children.

    So, here I have the ‘ideal’ aspect which can form part of the imagination, however it is not that it comes up as an entire play out in itself, but more of a belief of how the external and internal conditions must be in order to write.

    Self Forgiveness on the Fantasy that I’ve held as the Ideal Imaginary moment to write:

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold the backchat ‘I have to shut down from anything else in order to focus on this one single task to complete it, no matter how long it takes’ wherein I am seeking to have this one ‘empty-tasked’ day to do this, and every time that I have made it as a point to myself to do it in this or that day, I end up postponing simply because I cannot simply ‘unplug’ myself from my reality in order to have this ‘extended period of time’ to just focus on this. I realize that in my desire to fulfill and make up for the time that I did not regularly work on this document, I then go into the extreme of wanting to ‘solve it at once,’ without realizing that this is mostly impossible since everything requires a process and my exigencies of wanting to redeem myself toward this task will most certainly not be able to be fulfilled as easy as just wanting to have it done/ complete in one go – thus

    When and as I see myself seeking and ‘looking forward’ for the next weekend to have an entire day wherein I can work on my document, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am actually limiting my ability to work on the document for a fixed amount of time/ hours a day, instead of wanting to do it in one go as per mind’s exigencies and instead , proceed to work on it regularly for hours a day in order to realize that this is and will be part of the daily tasks and process that will be required until it is done – thus,

    I commit myself to stop looking for an ‘empty task day’ to work on this document, as I realize that there are no such days and that I can simply direct myself to fix the hours of the day in order to work with this and within that, making it part of the daily habits that I must work on.

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this point ‘more’ than any other point in my every day living, wherein within this experience toward the document as it being ‘more’ than any other writing or task I have to do, I in fact ensue the separation toward actually doing it, because of believing that I require a lot of time and the proper ‘setting’ to do it, the proper ‘momentum’ which is nothing else but a mind-generated drive toward the tasks that I have at hand.

    When and as I see myself going to extremes of thinking ‘Oh I won’t have time to eat today, I cannot keep myself in communication with others because they are a distraction’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that these statements and others indicating ‘stopping doing something else because of seeing it as a waste of time’ is only based on me now wanting to redeem myself, as ‘my time’ dedicated to this task that I simply put aside for a long period of time. Thus

    I commit myself to not try and ‘make up for’ the time I didn’t work on something – I face the consequences within the realization that it will take the necessary time and process to get it done, while combining it with my every day tasks and responsibilities as I see and realize that the ‘ideal’ of wanting to have an entire day ‘just for that’ is simply not possible and within holding this ‘ideal’ I have mostly created my own obstacles in my mind – thus I assist and support myself to distribute my time in order to dedicate hours a day to this document and realize that I don’t have to ‘aim’ to complete it in one go, as that would be only wanting to keep myself in a positive-experience of ‘having done it,’ instead of walking the process of doing it just as any other task/ point in my reality.

     

    I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire having the life of ‘a writer’ wherein I had actually ‘dreamed’ and ‘fantasized’ quite a lot about being a writer and having a specific setting to ‘write’ and within this particular setting as a comfortable environment to write, I envisioned that I would require to be near nature and having no noise around me, having someone else cooking for me and doing my basic responsibilities and me simply being there, drinking coffee and writing and going for strolls around my own garden – lol – as I see and realize that even if this was a ‘made up illusion’ obviously, I do consider the point and aspect of having ‘no noise around’ as the ideal point that I have to Have in order to be able to ‘concentrate’/ focus on this task, which is why the least ‘noise’ is rather an excuse to postpone it and also because of not precisely living in ‘the country side’ but in a constantly noisy neighborhood in the city – thus,

    When and as I see myself wanting to have this ‘perfect picture’ of the ideal moment, ideal place and conditions to write such as being near nature, having no noise around, having someone else doing my responsibilities, having a garden/ nature to walk around on, drinking lots of coffee and essentially having a picture-perfect room/ setting in order to write and be ‘comfortable’ within writing a particularly ‘long’ document –I stop and I breathe – I realize that these imagination pictures that I have created are based on a movie, and are based on my ‘ideals’ that in no way have a correlation to physical reality, as we all require food to eat, money to earn, relationships to attend and a world to be aware of essentially in order for that writing to be in itself even a writing, as what else could we write about if it wasn’t about our experiences and realizations within the ‘real world’ which is not always quiet, wherein one does not always live in a perfect country side, nor has someone else to pay for in order to do one’s responsibilities –thus, I stop participating within these ideals that only become a rather absurd obstacle for me to not write, as I see and realize that these conditions and ‘terms’ that I have created in order to feel ‘absolutely at ease’ to be writing this particular document, implies that I have made of this document something ‘more’ than myself and any other task and that I have created this belief that it must be ‘perfect’ and as such be written within a ‘perfect’ moment/ environment – thus

    I commit myself to stop creating the beliefs that I must be in and require specific settings and inspiration in order to write, as I realize that these are just mind exigencies that I have created in my mind, which have become excuses to not get to a certain task simply because I would rather ‘wait’ for that perfect moment and setting wherein all is apparently ‘done and fine’ and so ‘I can write till I drop,’ which is obviously not realistic at all.

    I commit myself to stop making an imagination point an excuse and justification for me to not work on something within the expectation of having possibly ‘in the future’ a ‘perfect moment’ to write, which doesn’t exist as I am actually able and capable of simply deciding to work on something and that is it, the work and written document is not dependent on a feeling, or an experience of ‘inspiration’ which is part of the mindfuckism that comes when thinking about writing a document that is not precisely self forgiveness or writing myself. I stop separating one writing as being more/ less than the other and focus on simply doing it.

     

    More to come …

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