Category Archives: geneartion x

417. How to Become Your Own Role Model

There was a blog entry I made some time ago about the documentary ‘Come and Worry With Us’

397. Come and Stop Worrying about Money & Children with us

about one of my favorite bands and generally discussing the problems that come when lacking sufficient money while still wanting to keep producing art, in this case performing and so generally seeing a more realistic approach to the lives of the people ‘on the spotlight’ so to speak, however I realize there is another dimension there to look at and that is part of my lack of objectivity when viewing this documentary, because I had a particular kinship toward the band itself and the people in it, specifically the leader of the band who happens to be part of another band that has been well known for remaining ‘out of the system,’ giving few interviews over the years, rejecting prizes from mainstream music industry, having no lyrics on their songs yet using their titles and general sounds used in the music as a constant reminder of the turbulent times we live in – such as wars, economic depression, general emotional depression, worrying about the future etc.

So, within investigating this, I realized that the people I had ‘admired’ throughout my life were mostly artists that have been able to ‘make it’ into the system without ‘selling out’ or what I then judged as ‘making lots of money into the system while escaping from complying to “the establishment.” That was my type of ‘ideal’ in life, to be ‘out of the system’ – I once thought that was possible, lol – and still make good money and speak on the frontline of ‘the oppressed’ so to speak. I’ve debunked in the past this character but there’s a dimension that I had missed looking at in terms of how I had admired individuals that I perceived as a form of ‘warriors’ themselves, to ‘stick to their guns’ so to speak, to stick to their beliefs and what they stand for which I see that this particular individual mostly does.

 

Efrim Menuck

 

In the documentary ‘Come and Worry with Us’ Efrim Menuck actually refuses to place higher prices to concert tickets in order for them to make more money  – and so have more economic solvency – because he wants to keep to the point of having ‘fair ticket prices’ for the public. This is something that I would have praised and seen as remarkable – but, is it really Self-Honest to actually go through hardship just to stick to one belief? Or is it really compromising the wellbeing of his own son/family/band for the sake of keeping his stance of anti-capitalism? Is it really common sensical to have a constant war toward money itself and wage a ‘fight against capitalism’ while refusing to do any other work and so placing your own financial security at risk, just because of not wanting to ‘sell out’ or ‘kiss corporate ass’ so to speak? My ideal was to be able to also ‘stick to my guns’ and rebel to the system in one way or another, but back then I had no idea of how even money was created or whether there was a genuine possibility to be ‘outside of the system’ – which I now understand of course cannot be a possibility even if I lived in Papua New Guinea.

 

So, in this, I realize that any trace of creating a preference for a particular individual based on the ‘ideals’ they stand for and those ideals being essentially based on antagonism toward the ‘establishment’ is still idolizing part of the problem in this world, because their ‘qualities’ are based on opposing something, on waging war against a certain faction and that’s essentially re-creating the idea of ‘resistance’ toward something or someone, instead of actually focusing on understanding the problem and so developing solutions.  Efrim himself has said how musicians are cowards because they can sing about the problems but most are not directly involved in creating solutions – and most of the solutions that come from people that follow this kind of ideals are based on further revolts and protesting, which is no actual solution in fact.

 

art workers won't kiss ass

 

 

Today I was pondering why so many artists can see the problems in society , but all that they have managed to do is expose it in pictures, in complicated objects and abstractions that would take more than one ‘quick view’ from a person to understand the actual message most of the times. I have then seen that as much as art has had this role of pointing out what is wrong with society and mirror it back, it lacks any substantial process of creating solutions. Some have gotten more involved into what would seem as social or anthropological work, getting involved with ‘the art piece’ that is part of a particular community/in situ, however those are still packets of solutions here and there, while the more general type of solutions will always come from the greater realms that still direct our society, which is politics, economics, education systems, media, etc. And art is still from my perspective a niche part of society that creates meta-languages that only a few can understand.

 

I simply realized that in order to ‘create change in the world’ as I have aspired to do, it takes more than just presenting images, sculptures, videos to people. Sure, it is a stepping stone, a bridge – but ultimately it is one’s own process of self-change that really enables one to understand also the magnitude of the problem and so also the best ways to go directing ourselves to support this change as well.

It’s interesting that one of the reasons I wanted to be an ‘artist’ is precisely for the kind of statements an attitudes generally attributed to artists such as: ‘an artist won’t lick the establishment’s boots.’ I had not questioned even for one moment that in doing this, one is standing in a constant warfare toward ‘the system’ instead of realizing we all are the system. In this stance, one is acting as any other ego in this world that is separated from others, that is standing with some and against others, while having no real practical solution development process in it. In this it is about clarifying that it’s not about the process of creation here, but rather the personalities I had placed more value and as such an experience on.

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever idolize a particular lifestyle that stood for a particular idea of persona that I wanted to be based on my desire to stand ‘against the system’ without ever realizing how only an ego can stand in separation from another.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to idolize another individual based on the principles of ‘standing up to the system’ or ‘sticking to their guns’ as a way to exemplify people that would still survive and ‘make a living’ in an apparent non-sellout way to ‘the system,’ wherein I had created a sense of heroism toward people that would ‘dare’ to do this, and see them as role models, without realizing that in reality creating such kind of ‘stance’ toward ‘the system’ is once again perpetuating the problem as in standing ‘against’ those that we perceive as ‘the wrongdoers,’ ‘the evil ones,’ ‘the capitalistic mafia,’ without realizing we are all part of and co-creators of this ‘evil mafia’ as our world and money system and we would not be able to have the lives we have right now if we weren’t part of the system as  a whole, which implies that by virtue of being a human being in this world, using money, using resources, relating to others, existing in this world = it implies we are all part of the system.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to romanticize the idea of my ‘role models’ being individuals that were cryptic in nature, were antagonistic yet sad and dismal about the state of affairs in the world, which I associated with being profoundly ‘sensitive’ individuals and within this, justifying their stance of being ‘against the system,’ without realizing that this is in fact a victimized state of showing ‘the system’ what ‘it has done to them’ and also remain within such excuse to not partake in the actual process of self-responsibility and self-creation that is required to genuinely change things.

We can actually all learn how to coexist, communicate, come to agreements and work together within the system using our creativity for the betterment of all in a Practical Way, instead of using art as a way to only use representations to criticize, judge, point fingers and blame and taking the vantage point, the righteousness of being the ‘fair one’ that is doing ‘nothing wrong’ and can only resort to ‘complain about it.’ This is precisely how we have disempowered ourselves, by creating yet another bubble in society wherein all the people that are most informed about the problems, that see and understand the problems, that can even create ‘art’ based on it are not really working within the spheres where real change can take place, which is in education, in politics, in law systems wherein we can in fact change the codes, the rules and how we manage our society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have surrounded myself with people that I thought I had admired for ‘taking a stance’ within the system, mostly of judging and complaining about it which I once identified as ‘powerful’ but in fact, it is the most disempowered state one can be in, and more so only channeling one’s observations into a song or a painting or a discourse against ‘the powers that be’ instead of genuinely understanding the process of changing the world beginning with oneself, stopping all antagonistic stance toward ‘the world’ and the perceived ‘evil ones’ and walk the actual process of self-forgiving all the antagonism and inner conflict toward reality so that one can focus on learning how we came to create this mess, this world-system problem and so focus our time, attention and dedication to becoming the solution, to creating and presenting solutions as that’s the real way we can genuinely unite in one single voice that stands as self-responsibility and no longer remain as futile resistance and antagonism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever been in awe and amazed at people that I would see ‘standing up to the establishment’ or ‘daring’ to speak about everything that is wrong about the world and see them as heroes, as ‘superior’ individuals – without realizing that speaking against, shouting, marching, protesting and joining the antagonistic ‘choir’ so to speak is rather a stepping stone and a relatively easier thing to do  – it also creates a self-belief of righteousness and justice, but what has been missed is pondering how such reclamation, how such anger and spite toward the system is in fact supporting to create a solution at all? How is one’s anger, one’s sadness and despair, one’s decision to ‘not sell out’ in fact supporting to change the nature of ourselves as individuals and so with doing that, changing the nature of the world system that does function in a enslavement-mode.

Isn’t it only self-interest to create an experience within oneself of righteousness about one’s ‘beliefs’ and stance when such beliefs are defined according to begin against something/someone? In fact, all our past revolutionaries have become personalities printed on posters as an example to new generations of a perceived ‘way forward’ for change through ideals of change and a call for revolution, when in fact that will only lead to and perpetuate the ongoing wars we have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word idol or hero in the context of people I have seen have apparently ‘stood up to the system’ but only in a fighting mode or in a ‘resistance’ manner, which ultimately keeps the war going between ‘two sides’ that antagonize each other and do not actually get to put down the defenses and work together in self-responsibility to create genuine solutions. This would be the new heroism, wherein we no longer have to ‘fight a battle’ to ‘win’ and so be identified as the ‘hero of the day’ but rather define here-oism as an individual that lives by principle, that commits to being fully HERE as Life and whose actions are aimed at benefiting him/herself and others as well.

Heroism means to stand in absolute self-responsibility and accountability, to ensure one stops all inner wars first, then a real hero or role model emerges as someone that won’t ever antagonize themselves with another, but instead lives the realization that it is only through self-forgiving our polarization, our antagonism and inner battles that we can create a genuine world living in peace and harmony, just as the one that many artists or ‘heroes’ have attempted to create. But ultimately, living in actual self-responsibility makes you no one’s enemy, no one’s ‘freedom fighter’ and so, war is annihilated when recognizing and living in equality.

 

Integrity is the congruence sticking to live by and apply living principles that stand within the consideration of what is best for all, that implies not only sticking to what one prefers or sees as ‘righteous’ but implies actually actively pushing oneself to become a self-responsible and self honest human being. This means walking the talk and stopping any form of hypocrisy by denying what is here as ourselves and blaming someone for it. All is self-responsibility, all is our self-creation.

 

Real self-change begins with oneself, begins with recognizing that this system as ‘capitalism’ is not the problem in itself, but ourselves as human beings . Taking an antagonistic stance and pretending to be an ‘outsider’ to it all is abdicating self-responsibility and creating a new self-religion, a trendy form of excuse, justification and self-belief that the battle against the government/ the establishment can in any way be ‘won’ when there’s nothing to win in a world where if we don’t actually get to work together, we will simply deplete everything that is here and we won’t have anyone to battle on any longer because fighting is never the solution, self-direction and common sense is. Why haven’t we realized how we actually co-create wars as we fight for our plight to freedom? Why should we even have to ‘fight’ for something that should be given as a guaranteed living right?

The solution for myself is once again to be very aware of any reminiscence of praising individuals for having ‘strong beliefs’ that can be disguised as justice, as ‘fighting for what’s right’ but in fact when looking at how they live, what they think and where they stand, compromising one’s financial stability for the sake of ‘sticking to one’s beliefs’ is not common sense. More so with artists, there’s a lot of creativity and engineering processes that are being squandered only in pieces that are shown in museums or streets, but still just pieces of matter, words or images that intend to open up people’s eyes but I’ve realized that art in itself as a material thing is is not enough – it can be a starting point, a bridge, an opening toward a certain perspective or view,  but currently we mostly lack ways in which to give a follow-up to that ‘awakening’ process.

That’s why sharing about this self-creative process is the most important thing I see is required in our current society, so that we can shift our focus from the fights and antagonism or despair, toward an actual recognition of our power and ability to change ourselves and so change the world. Sounds like a cliché, but I’m testing this real time and it works, and it is not a quick fix since it is like re-weaving one’s own life toward a supportive outcome. I can guarantee that you won’t be the same as you were before, but isn’t that the point of living: growing out of the constriction and taking one’s own self-directive decisions and choices in life? What a better way to do this but within a principle where all/everyone is considered, where one recognizes one’s own potential and so lives in the world embracing the current consequential outflows of our past, because we understand that cringing about it makes no difference – and instead, we focus on applying, living and becoming the solution.

 

Within this I realize that I have actually stopped following ‘role models’ and decided to rather commit myself to be my own role model and within that become a living example for myself and others of what living as a self-responsible being implies. This is then something that entails committing to live by the principles of life in self-honesty wherein I decide to make of my life my own work of art that I can actually fully stand for and so debunk the ideas of having to follow other role models that so far have led us nowhere. Not even admiring a great man that shared with us the process of Self Forgiveness is acceptable, because in admiration one beliefs one is incapable of standing as equal to another, and that’s the whole point of walking this process: to recognize our full potential as equals within our individuality, which means: each one holds a very specific key to world-change.

 

Life is rather short, we only got one life so let’s live it every moment fully in self-creation mode.

 

Inspire yourself with people around the globe standing up and walking the process of self creation:

 

Pointing back at me

 

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


404. Deconstructing Culture as Myself

 

As I continue my self-investigation it seems that realizing the fact that we all have been preprogrammed individuals following a very specific ‘plan’ that involved conditioning ourselves to become a certain role/personality in our minds and never question it,  wasn’t still completely grasped within me when it comes to seeing culture and how it has been specifically designed to support particular agendas that have led to various ‘cultural movements’ that within me I still wanted to believe were attempts of us as human beings trying to ‘break-through’ or ‘break-free’ – lol – but mostly managing to break ourselves further through imprinting certain behaviors, ideas, concepts, morals, ‘world vision’ that became actual distractors in the sense that none of these points would be useful or supportive for a genuine change in this world, but instead it was the patterning and standardization of what we would think, what we would understand as ‘freedom’ and what we would find entertaining or alluring in our lives, which is also containing the ways in which we see/define/categorize and think ourselves and everyone/everything else, which is mind control through the most ‘subtle means’ such as television/media/arts and everything that is usually reached by the average person, even if such person doesn’t go to school for example.

 

All of this was part of the ‘greater plan’ to be perpetually enslaved to our own constant desire to experience, to be ‘hooked on energy’ so to speak which is what we accepted as our every day living, our every day ‘drive’ and motivation to go to work, do the exact same things every day to earn a living and then come home and be able to relax while getting ‘updated’ on ‘what is going on in our minds’ which is what then becomes part of your passive indoctrination into new fascinations, new obsessions, new desires to consume, body types, new personalities, new things to essentially get ourselves occupied with in our minds which became a self-inflicted way to accept and allow ourselves to dive into complacency of how this system operates, since we mostly came to conclude that ‘As long as I can have my free time to do whatever I like doing to relax and entertain myself and those around me are protected ($),  who cares whatever else is going on in the world?’ – we even have gotten to the point of praising our enslavement by idolizing those that we have accepted and allowed as ‘masters’ in our world and gullibly thinking that we can someday reach/rich ‘that top’… without realizing the system is structured to not allow anyone else to get to such positions, but be constantly reminded ‘they can’ if they just hit the jackpot like stars do nowadays with reality shows, singing contests and whatnot. It’s All around us and no matter if kids are homeschooled, kids will still be having a TV, internet, peers that will simply be also the product of all of this so, we have to establish principles in order to direct ourselves within it and so the younger more impressionable minds too.

 

DSC00397

 

In my case I linking what should have been rather obvious to me from the time that I became more ‘acquainted’ with TV at the age of 7, specifically cable TV and American TV Channels. But also from the books that I read throughout my teenage years, I was still holding on to them and the writers as proof of what I believed was an attempt of us to ‘breakthrough’ or ‘step out of the system’ when it comes to human creativity and other creations like music, fine arts, films – all of the ‘marvels’ of the world that I once saw myself being ‘inspired by’ in order to overcome my own inner conflict which was in fact first of all created by everything that I began watching on TV as I had no actual ‘worries’ in my life as such. I can say I am a genuine product of spending childhood watching MTV for example. So, I’ve been finding out how it is that these ‘artists’ were in fact used or let’s place it in a more tangible way: their own creativity was rather used in order to further certain agendas related to ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to instilling ‘new’ ideas, personalities, fantasies, personalities, ‘ideologies’ and even addictions within people, all of it paid with what is called fame and fortune wrapped in the package of ‘celebritism’ or artistic personalities or eccentrics that portrayed the apparent ‘perfect ways’ to ‘escape the system’ – to present the illusion of ‘yes, anyone can get to the top!’ or ‘Anyone can beat the system and escape!’  and bam! There I went, right into it as far as I could when I was into aiming at doing/becoming like certain personalities and doing what they did and living their life.

 

Now within this there’s also a point to consider how it is not only some evil cabal’s plan to complete their ‘great work’ and have all these stereotypes, morals, behaviors, ideas being imprinted in everyone’s minds through manufacturing culture and all of us believing that artistic manifestations were evidence of ‘man’s evolution’ – which in essence as such, evolution is just consciousness upgrading itself, which means there’s no real Self-Awareness in it, just new ‘trends’ that could be sold to people in an attempt to fulfill the constant desire to progress, to advance, to ‘become better’ – lol – not realizing we haven’t ‘evolved’ an iota from the moment of our creation, only the scenarios have changed and we have seen our ‘technology’ create the illusion that we have changed, but we haven’t, at all.

 So this is to understand that the history we have been taught in schools of course is taught by the winners, those that have created the wars and have perpetuated the idea of how a god would choose who the monarchs would be, and so forth – all of it which was usually ‘backed’ by the evidence of artistic creations used as another alibi to confirm certain theories of our evolution. But in reality, a lot of it has been transfixed in order to suit certain theories to, once again, advance certain notions of evolution, of real change and human refinement, simply to continue justifying what we have as ‘arts’ today which have mostly become part of the dumbification or downgrading of ourselves as individuals in order to promote carelessness, apathy, destruction, chaos, mental disorders, the destruction of any value or principle but only shock and disturb to such an extent that it becomes a ‘norm’ nowadays in what we call our entertainment, which is really entrainment.

Once we get to know of the actual history – through currently non-institutionalized sources of course – of how our culture has been engineered as a necessary tool of propaganda to back the ‘story’ of ‘how things are/how they have been’ and paving the way to ‘how things will be’ there is no doubt that we are continuing to lock ourselves in these ideals based on what we get/absorb from the media/environment around us, which is nothing else but the same mind patterns made ‘enjoyable’ just like junk food that one can get addicted to: it tastes good, you then crave for it but nevermind really getting to know about the lack of nutritional content.  In essence our culture has become the glorification and legitimization of ‘our human nature’ as ‘who we are as the mind,’ separated from reality into the fictional stories that we could spend our entire lifetime creating of ourselves as personalities, as ‘characters’ in our own ‘movie’ that we actually begun thinking we had to create as ‘our lives’ and ‘our relationships.’ It’s been very interesting to me to see my own brainwashing and how my own relationships, my own thoughts/ideas/fixations were all imprints that I took from music, music videos, books, TV shows and essentially immersing myself in a culture that I wanted to belong to at the time – American Culture – because of loathing ‘my own culture’ which is what I had then perceived as the low-life Mexican Culture and as such never realizing I was actually then going to be my own reference as to ‘who one becomes’ when continually watching American TV, which I did for the most part from age 7 till probably 15-16 or so.

 

DSC00371

 

CULTure is the perfect way to entrain ourselves into consciousness, ‘what everyone is thinking about’ and ‘what’s talked about’ which comes in the form of our news, TV shows, movies, music, etc. containing components as behaviors, personalities, thinking patterns, fashion, attitudes, morals, obsessions, addictions, etc. – all of it having ‘profitable’ purposes but goes beyond that and into the necessary role of providing the ‘circus for the masses’ to ensure that this time, the Holy Roman Empire does not fall for not giving enough bread and circus to the people. One only has to have a look around us and see that it’s easier to talk to someone about a TV show than politics or economics; it’s easier to strike a conversation with someone about a movie than it is to discuss our emotionally driven tendencies to buy products as way to compensate for some kind of ‘emotional need.’ Culture has always been the way to perpetuate a mindset, a way to legitimize ‘how life is lived’ and ‘how things are done,’ what is ‘cool’ and what is not, which essentially consolidates our usually used as an excuse to not change ‘human nature’ – culture is its own PR campaign that we are then taught in schools as part of our history and ‘ethics’ so that we are reminded that ‘there’s ALWAYS been someone at the top of the food chain, there’s ALWAYS been slaves that are disempowered, deal with it, try to always aim at the top and enjoy the show while it lasts.’

Currently if one cannot see the actual agendas for further depravity, lack – because they were never ‘lost’ of any living principles and the ‘Do as Thou Wilt’ mentality to give continuation to our ‘age old’ culture, one must be very, very brainwashed – not to worry though, it’s not too late yet. Nowadays sexual depravity is the ‘norm’ when it comes to the idea of ‘sexual liberation’ and female empowerment means stripping down in front of crowds and being praised by millions as some kind of ‘queen.’ Another example is how within our ingrained desire to ‘feel free’ the idea of ‘the rebel’ or the ‘anti-system’ became part of the social engineering process to always contain and control any form of actual break-through within individuals, which is the predictable way of acting if you see that something is ‘not right’ and your are being abused, you then aim and attempt to ‘break free’ from the oppressor by opposing, judging, antagonizing and denying it, revolting against it which are all the ‘anti’ movements that have become part of the systematic and predictable antithesis processes to actually Contain the people within such stance/roles and behaviors for which ‘the system’ as we have all co-created it was always ready to thrown back some ‘solution’/synthesis to further control. It’s just following what Lenin said in the lines of If you want to control the opposition, take the head of it, and you can see that all ‘leaders’ and role models in arts and so-called revolutionary people have been also part of perpetuating the same status quo, even if they were not aware of.

 

DSC01703

 

To prove this point in terms of realizing how our culture has not been one that supports life, I bet that you have most likely never seen a movie pointing out how life is not about participating in our own mind as thoughts, emotions or feelings… or becoming self-responsible, or empowering each other to become the actual directors of our lives, of how poverty could be eradicated if we all partake in political solutions – not just one lucky good-doer leader here and there – not at all, instead we create the opposite and as such, it becomes what occupies our mind at a conscious level, it’s what suits our ‘human nature’ which is that of blame, vengeance, victimization…  just look at V for Vendetta that became the brainwashing mechanism for everyone at Occupy Wall street believing they had some kind of ‘power’ to oust ‘the bankers’ while seeking revenge – lol, fascinating how MOVIES are in fact dictating how we even ‘revolt’ nowadays, isn’t it? Not to mention the masks that became part of protests since 2011 and specifically the ‘anonymous movement’ are copyrighted to Time Warner, thank you for your contribution to one of the five top corporations that run the media in this world – wink, wink. How have we accepted and allowed to become SO predictable and SO Brainwashed and still fall for it? Easy, the same culture has become the only ‘soup of thoughts’ we all swim in.

 

 

This is precisely WHY ‘going against the system’ is just becoming the predictable pattern within the foreseeable attempts to ‘break free’ from our minds which is just playing the role of becoming the dark pole to the white counterpart or ‘going in the opposite direction,’ confirming our ‘dialectic’ predictable mentality that was also part of what ‘great philosophers’ left on Earth…  it is really only giving a name to the mechanisms in which we operate in our own minds – no big discovery, only making visible what we already exist as in our polarity mind-constructs of good and bad, right and wrongs, positive and negatives caging ourselves into oblivion within Energy and the illusion of ‘breaking free’ – all of it being the ‘building blocks of the illusion’ that we can call culture formed by the massive distribution and repetition of ideologies, images, sounds = all created in and as the image and likeness of who we are as the mind and its mechanisms, hence the importance of knowing thyself and becoming Aware of what one thinks, what principles one lives by, how we created our personality, what are our goals in life and where did we take those ideals from? Why do we dress a particular way? Why do we like a particular set of movies? Why do we Feel differently toward things, people, places, music …. There are so many theories and attempts to debunk the origin of our culture and all I can remember from it is that as human history it ends up when ‘hitting a wall’ where no man has gone beyond – before 2006 – and attributing everything to god or a creator and as such, for example seeing the origin of art as having some kind of magical-religious purposes…. Oh yes, that means core programming for enslavement within the idea of ‘higher someone’ dictating everything we do and because we could not understand it, we came to draw it or paint it or sculpt it so that it would later on become our way to solidify the same plot of what we have come to accept and allow as ‘how things have always been,’ and even learned how to revere it as well! That is us at the dawn of our species, and that is still us at the time as well. No evolution has taken place whatsoever.

 

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Coming back to my own case here, it’s cool and rather necessary for me to debunk what I see I had wanted to hold on to as some kind of belief in ‘human creativity spark’ or a bit of ‘romanticism’ when It comes to human expression and sure, the works and creations themselves can still be very well done, but it’s definitely not something ‘special’ or as an attempt to ‘break through’ some kind of programming – lol –  it’s rather the opposite. Once one starts seeing and understanding the ‘big picture’ and how these personalities or built-up stars play a role within the whole scheme and get to understand who paid them, for what purpose, within the context of which agenda, any remains of romanticism or ‘out of the box’ hopes upon artists just goes down to the drain as it should, because it was never ‘real’ anyways, it was never intended to honor and support life, so why praising something or someone that I personally only used to confirm my own existence as a mind consciousness system that absorbed all of this knowledge and information to further myself down my own mythological rabbit whole? It’s pointless.

To me this is a bit ‘late’ to realize in my process with such clarity, but better later than ever breaking through yet another ‘layer’ within the experiences, ideals and fascinations held within me as part of ‘my personality’ created in the image and likeness of the illusion; what I mean by ‘illusion’ are my experiences, my own responses toward certain artists, books, films, arts in general which means, how I FEEL and how I would See myself in relation to ‘what is of this world’ and what ‘suit’ I wore most of the time to be in it. I also see that I can apply this same realization to any other point or aspect in reality toward which I had held some ‘special value’ upon and instead see it  within self-awareness for what it physically is,  realizing that there’s no ‘grandeur’ in anything in this reality at the moment that I could genuinely ‘praise,’ because everything that we’ve ever done as humanity and our ‘culture’ specifically has been engineered within the context of our preprogrammed reality, of revering the mind and system that it is in our outside world – but never life which is what I actually ended up doing for myself: I found ‘my place’ in the world in a comfortable cage where – If I had continued down my ‘preprogrammed path’ – I could not at all have affected real change, because arts as I now see, in order to become really ‘famous’ and revered, you cannot genuinely destabilize the status quo, and so all the people I admired and I believed made some advancements really only landed themselves in jails or ended up as drug addicts, alcoholics, committed suicide or fell for the path of fame and glory as it is still apparently ‘too hard to refuse’ when you can sign a pact with the devil to get everything you want and ‘make it’ in this dog-eat-dog world. We have all become preys of our own emotions, feelings, desires and wants, yet we believe that that is the key to a fulfilling life, to ‘get it all’ when it is in fact that way in which we are imprisoning us all at the moment, disregarding the fact that if I take more for me, I am in fact leaving another without any.

This is a lengthy point to me as I chose to and wanted to become part of culture as a creator of it, so I chose to study a career dubbed as ‘creator of culture’ which is arts, visual arts and for the most part I’ve seen how ‘arts’ in general are being used as the circus to entertain, to further decay, to instill new ‘ideologies’ and ideas with which we most likely end up much worse that we already are doing in our overall human decay we’re living in. This too can be changed and I see this IS the point I can certainly do not only for myself, but for anyone else that’s realizing the same propaganda-role that art has taken throughout our known history of it.

 

So, this is not over yet, it’s only just begun. I would actually challenge and/or suggest to you reading this to look at which character either from a film or book, what artist you idolized or ‘wanted to emulate’ for some reason and why, what kind of ideology from a certain movie or series you could ‘identify’ with and decided to make it your own by becoming/acting/speaking/wanting to look like someone you saw on the TV, a film, a book character, an artist, etc. The more and more we start considering the seemingly subtle ways in which our behavior and what we claimed to be ‘our own personality’ has been influenced by the media and entertainment we participate on a constant basis, the more we will be able to realize to what extent we are STILL accepting and allowing the continuation of the problems in this world by realizing that our current culture is not one of self-support and honoring each other as life, as equals – but instead we are using it to perpetuate and upgrade our own alienation from the matters that should have always been part of our culture, which begins with self-awareness of who we are in ourselves as our mind and How we are contributing to the creation or destruction of our reality with the ways we act, speak, think within our lives and toward others.

 

This will continue …

 

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Are you mind controlled? Test yourself here:


385. The Most Important Job in the World: Parenting

 

A Review & Commentary on the Documentary ‘The Naked Room’/El Cuarto Desnudo (México, 2013)

Throughout this process I’ve realized that the most important job that exists is that of being a parent. As I go understanding the fabric of our society, I can see directly how the lack of parenting skills or even the inability to know what these are or should be reflects back to our society, shaping each one of us into the individuals that at the same time, create the nature of the ‘world-system’ as is, because when we talk about ‘the world’ it’s not really the Earth, the living beings other than humans that are the problem – the whole and sole problem is who we have become as human beings and how we have shaped, modified and distorted reality through and by our mind as a consequence of lacking any efficient education and parental guidance while we are brought up in this world, which in turn affects every other part of our reality as well.

So in essence, we’ve lacked the skills to support ourselves as the units of our society to grow strong, healthy, stable and with clear directives in our lives and as a result, this society is the mirror of the lack and/or misguidance of parenting skills.

 

El cuarto desnudo/The naked room from AMBULANTE on Vimeo.

“The naked room” shows a whole world without leaving a single space: the examination room in a children’s hospital in Mexico City. Listening to the children, their parents and the doctors during consultations allows us to have a more profound and complex view of our social reality and of human nature.

 

I watched the documentary ‘The Naked Room/ El Cuarto Desnudo’ some weeks ago, here’s part of a synopsis I found about it:

The Naked Room exposes the complex and hard situations that are the consequence of something as simple as a kid wishing for a more loving brother. Also, the behavior of people with a mental disorder, a condition that always affects the loved ones (sometimes even physically). Ibáñez has not created a documentary to be enjoyed by everybody per se, I mean, we’re dealing with a brutal theme in a very direct way, with no pauses; it’s a constant display of human sadness and mental problems.

It can be easily described as a depressing film, after all it’s a natural view to the life of several persons, and some of their closest relatives, whose hopelessness has lead (some of them) to go as far as attempting to take their own lives. In a way, The Naked Room is here to explain the “why” behind suicide or self-harming, specifically when the problem happens to a kid or a teenager. What’s great about Ibáñez’s film is the fact that she is not trying to explain anything by interviewing doctors and relatives or using information from other sources. The doc is simply crafted: it’s entirely based on footage obtained from a series of meetings between psychiatrics and patients.

Ibáñez knew that showing those conversations was enough for a thought-provoking piece. All she had to do was place the camera at the right spot and then working inside the editing room. And the camerawork is really interesting and precise; firstly, it only follows the patients, hence some scenes are just fascinating: observing the facial expressions of the children while their respective relative is talking with the doctor brings a unique feeling, as the conversations deal with nothing childish, indeed.

For about half an hour we don’t see the same patient more than once, so The Naked Room engages you. The audience will want to know what’s behind, for instance, a problematic kid whose father has threatened to abandon him in the streets. There are many patients involved, so when each one of them appears again, you might be a bit confused, not remembering who is who; that could have been a flaw related to the structure, but the confusion is always temporal.

And, ultimately, the diversity only helps the documentary to be thematically richer. It can be seen as an exploration of teenagers, with such themes exposed as insecurity and social rejection, but that’s just one of its layers. The Naked Room is, simply, one of the strongest Mexican films of the year (my personal favorite from the Morelia documentary selection), even when it’s simply crafted, like I said, and very short (less than 70 minutes).”

Read more: http://twitchfilm.com/2013/10/morelia-2013-review-the-naked-room-el-cuarto-desnudo-a-powerful-display-of-sadness-and-insanity.html#ixzz2wu4eXQg1

 

The constant identification of parental patterns being transmitted onto children, the lack of creating supportive familial relationships and living environment, the lack of money to have proper nutrition, healthcare, education themselves, the fact that some parents didn’t want their children in the first place, the fact that they resort to hitting them for not complying to do what they asked them to do, the physical and verbal abuse between parents, the divorces and separations that affect a child’s ability to learn and interact with others properly, the lack of sexual orientation support, the threats used as a way to establish discipline that are depicted as part of the reasons why the kids in this documentary develop mental instability, can all be traced back to the parents and the unfortunate lack of skills, information and education on how to deal with their own lives, their marriage/relationships and in turn how to be a mother or a father.

In turn, parents have only learned to react to seeing the problem that their children develop as something born out of the blue, which is the position of becoming a victim to their children’s mental instability in the form of worry and preoccupation due to not knowing ‘what is going on with their children?’ without realizing that their role is inevitably implied within what their children are experiencing as well. However, can we talk about it solely being ‘their fault’?

 

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Understanding Who We Are as The Mind

Parents were educated in turn by their own parents and consequently the same has happened to those parents as well, which means that the parent-child relationship is the essential relationship that has shaped (ruined) the way that we develop ourselves as human beings. You might react and say ‘not me’ and I could as well, but the fact is that even if one can consider oneself having ‘good parents’ or ‘supportive parents’ the moment that there’s no principle of support to understand the mind, the feelings, the emotions, the ‘who am I’ as the mind and assist with the integration of physical living words that we can live as a decision, a self-directive process that one directs oneself to express as a Living Principle, one is already missing out the most important aspects of our relationship to ourselves, others and in turn the ‘who we are’ and will become as we come of age in this world – instead, we’ve been brought up with mechanisms that use fear, control, violence, abuse, threats in order to establish some sense of discipline and direction, as well as happiness, rewards, ‘love’ and the illusion thereof as ways to create the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ definitions that we’ve limited ourselves by, going all the time attempting to be ‘happy’ and/or dreaming of reaching an eternal happiness without even understanding how that is also a mindjob essentially. We’ve only learned to ‘cope with reality’ by reacting to the environment, to another’s words, to take things personal, to seek revenge, to be spiteful and that is of course already a massive fault in parental skills.

Not to blame ‘them’ though…

The reality is that we’ve never ever had such skills, because we had not ever before understood who we are as the mind, how it is that we are separated from our physical body through and by the mind which is a Mind Consciousness System, a design, a programmed patterned system that generates thoughts, feelings, emotions and through this our behavior, personality, fears, reactions, beliefs, etc. that we have adopted and believed is ‘who we are.’ In this documentary we can see this reality as spectators of a glimpse of how far one can experience one’s emotions and feelings to the extent of wanting to die just because there is no proper medical support, assessment or understanding of what the mind is, what our emotions is, how the patterns that we’ve acquired from parents are imbued from the moment of conception, and at birth we are directly influenced by every single word that parents speak, every single move, every single experience that parents have within themselves while being with the child – and this I am almost certain only an excruciating minority of parents have taken into consideration.

 

it is so damn clear in this documentary how the fact that we have taken our minds personally and others’ reactions personally, while being unable to understand Why such patterns of aggression, violence, harm, hatred exist and are coming from ‘those’ that should have ‘cared’/‘educated us’ to be able to live in this world the best way possible, which is what creates the traumatic experiences within children  that evolve to become ‘mental illnesses’ because of our inability as parents to stand as living principles for them, to become all of us in society a living example of how to live, interact and direct oneself in this world. This has been our ‘missing link’ in the relationship between parents and children, but also in our society as a whole.

 

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The First Seven Years of Your Life

At Desteni it’s been explained how the time-frame of development from ages 0-7 is crucial in our development because that’s where the ‘programming’ process of the mind takes place, activating all the pre-existent patterns coming from parents, integrating new ones from the child’s interaction with their immediate environment – which are most of the times, parents or any other ‘parental figure’ –

“The inheritance and transference of the survival skills from both your parents takes place when the entire mind consciousness system develops within you within the mother’s womb together with your physical development. The copying and duplication of the survival skills from both your parents takes place through your observations, interactions and participations with your parents’ as the parent/child relationship develops during your childhood years (from two to three years up to the age of thirteen years).”

Veno – Structural Resonance – Part 2 – Phase 5

 

This means that the direct effect of our words, thoughts, behavior and emotional or feeling participation is imprinted onto children from such early stage of their lives, with them being like a virgin cd that one is about to literally ‘burn’ with information that they will simply then replay, adjust and ‘upgrade’ throughout their entire lives.  That is the magnitude and importance of the responsibility we have toward every individual that is born into this world: the world we have for them at their arrival will become the program, the structure, the patterns they’ll accept as ‘how things are’ with the possibility of only changing them once that they’ve walked their own lives, their consequences and decide for themselves to change what they have learned up to that point, which is the process of Self-Honesty and Self Responsibility that we are walking here at Desteni.

 

So, while watching the documentary El Cuarto Desnudo I could understand for example what has been explained in the  Spite series of interviews at Eqafe in relation to Self-Harm. Some of the kids in the documentary attempting to commit suicide, cut/punch/harm  as a response to the disbelief they had of having their parents attacking them, insulting them, not giving them all the necessary attention, hitting them, abusing them in various ways as well as managing them with ‘fear’ which in result, in a helpless attitude of ‘I just don’t know what to do with her/him anymore, doctor!’ which to a young child it doesn’t make sense that your parent, your ‘guide’ is becoming your own worst enemy or an inept person to take proper care of you and as such, even if they say ‘they care for you’ or they ‘love you’ they are still not being supportive at all in the situation… doesn’t make sense isn’t it?

And no, it won’t make sense. And this is the point we’ve missed all along and that can actually support, assist parental relationships to entirely change because what hasn’t been understood is how the Mind operates, how the mechanisms of creation of energy as emotions, thoughts, feelings is what has become the directive principle, the sole ‘director’ of ourselves to the extent that we comply to such mind/thoughts/feelings/emotions absolutely ignoring our physical bodies, the living flesh that we are and that we should never ever harm in order to ‘relieve’ some sort of emotional or feeling experience which comes from a constant struggle and inner conflict to ‘cope’ with what’s going on up there in the mind, because the children look perfectly ‘healthy’ at a physical level, but in the mind they are certainly completely possessed and this is a clear testimony for us to see what the mind does to the physical body and why it is so important to take responsibility for our minds, our bodies and completely take both into consideration before continuing inflicting any harm or abuse upon oneself, only acting upon what we ‘feel’ or experience as thoughts, emotions in the mind.

In the documentary, almost every child would cut/harm themselves, and I’m talking about Children here –  which becomes a form of self-spite: anger toward oneself so that it becomes a way to spite the parents, which doesn’t make sense to spite oneself in an attempt to get another’s attention or ‘get back at’ someone when one is being ‘attacked’ by another, as that will then in turn become the attack and abuse onto oneself, the very same attack that one can be complaining about is coming from parents.  However because children are not taught how to deal with the emotions they have at a mind level, the only way to ‘cope’ with this inner turmoil which becomes self-hate is to resort to self-destruction. Do ‘they’ really want to do it? No, it’s who they are as the mind that want to harm themselves, just because the amount of energy continued to be thought of and used up by the individual is too extensive for the child to stop and get back to physical reality to understand how one is abusing one’s own body and in essence doing onto themselves what they were complaining that others were doing onto them at first – and this is how the ‘chain’ of self-abuse is continued.

 

EPSON scanner image

 

 

Learning from the Parents

With friction and conflict stemming from their family/environment situation, children learn to ‘cope’ with the constant conflictive and problematic situations with their own emotions generated as a reaction to things they see in their environment, things they are unfortunately done onto, and not having any way to stand up or stop participating in these automated reactions in the mind. And these can obviously be of a wide variety of factors, such as lack of money/education that turns into a poor household where parents have to work to make a living for the entire day – being left with other family members that might turn abusive, that might not properly care after them – sometimes the parents/relatives resorting to alcohol/drugs to cope with stress, to mitigate hunger, to mitigate family abuse, being depressed, being in the verge of financial bankruptcy…. there’s also marriage disruption, physical and verbal abuse between parents, abuse from parents to child which turns into children then hitting the parents/spiting the parents, desperation from parents for not knowing what to do with them and so children see themselves as being ‘a problem’ a ‘drag’ to the parents to the extent that they reason it’s best to die/commit suicide than continue living – and this may come from parents expressing them that ‘they don’t know what to do with them any longer’ or how ‘they wished they had never been born’  which once again, to a child and even if you the reader  never got told this, placing ourselves in the shoes of children being told this, it is mostly obvious that there will be a reaction of feeling worthless, not desired, not loved, inferior and this remains as permanent rejection throughout their lives unless they encounter support while growing up to not take such words personally, but understand how they come from parental distress, desperation, not knowing ‘what to do’ with their own lives and in turn not knowing what to do with their children.

 

There might emerge a desire to blame parents for that – but blame once again would lead us to miss out the point here. Blaming, holding grudge, being constantly mad, angry, frustrated at parents or even hating them is only the outflow of not getting a supportive, comforting and adequate parental support for the parents themselves to begin with while they were in the position of being the children. And one would say, yes, it makes sense to be angry for not getting that – but, this is where I implore you to consider the ‘greater context’ which is how I assisted myself to – within and after the documentary ended – be able to clearly see where the surges of blame or anger toward parents were coming from and immediately understand how it is necessary to see the ‘greater context’ to take all points into consideration to understand such parental and children relationships throughout our entire history.

The key here is understanding a very, very important point: All can be Self-Forgiven and Must be Self-Forgiven in order to stop holding on to the grudges created from children to parents and vice-versa if we truly want to change the world.

 

Human Chains (pic)

 

No ‘parent’ knows How to be a Parent.

No person is born knowing How to be a parent, a self supportive and adequate one, how to become an example for your child to ‘look up to’ because No Human Being has EVER been such Living Example for oneself or for others – yet. Sure there have been great personalities in the world that were ‘great men and women,’ but even that one can notice that people in politics or social change in the world such as Mandela for example, when his daughters were interviewed they were proud of him for the principles he stood for, but as a parent they had no further comment other than really not knowing ‘him’ as such, because he had not really been around with them….. point to ponder.

So, the problem is in fact not that we haven’t learned ‘how to be a parent’ but how to be a Living Human Being. We have only been mind-robots driven by thoughts, feelings, emotions, not knowing ‘how’ to cope with them, how to direct them because we entirely accepted ‘who we are’ as our mind and so, what happens is that the moment that we Identify ourselves with the mind as ‘Who we are’ entirely without any possibility of change, that’s where we dissociate ourselves from our ability to be self-directive which means, realizing that everything that we’ve become is the byproduct of generation after generation of human beings that have not known how to direct/deal with one’s thoughts, feelings and emotions – in essence with one’s mind – but only learned from certain religious and moral dogmas and ‘authorities’ that became only ways to control people through fear, or control through the illusion of ‘love’ which is another point I have had previously discussed.

 

 

What does being a Living Human Being mean?

The self that we all have and can become the moment that we start living and applying the realization that one has to honor, support, care, develop and nurture oneself to become an example of what it is to act, do and speak what is best for oneself and everyone else as equals. Becoming the Living Word, the Living Example for oneself and others to follow as the norm, the way, the law of our being in which we can trust ourselves and each other to realize that no matter what: I honor, consider, support and care for myself , I stand as my own support and as such, stand as support for and toward everything/everyone else as myself, as life, as equals. This is the standard, this is how we can genuinely ‘change the world.’

So because we have failed to live this way with and for ourselves, the consequence is and has been that all our relationships have failed to be fruitful and bloom into a world that we can all be genuinely ‘happy’ to live in. With understanding this premise of the ‘legacy’ we have in terms of the ‘human nature’ as the mind, the generation after generation passing of ‘the sins of the fathers’ it then becomes much easier to understand why a human being that has taken the role of being a parent has failed to become a living example for his/her children, because the consideration of being a Living Human Being has never existed – yet we do have all the potential of each one of us becoming such living example of being the human beings that we all know we can be and become – and this is where our responsibility resides: to ensure that we can be the example of how the so-called ‘human nature’ is able to be self-forgiven, stopped, self corrected and changed.

 

This understanding that I just shared here in written words is what I used to then see, realize and understand and self forgive the surges of any emotions that could have been accumulated while watching the documentary, and through this understanding rather seeing this documentary not only as presentation of the problems we have within children at a mental level – instead, it also becomes a  motivation to see once again for myself that there is just SO much that is required to get done in relation to education in this world, so much to be understood about the mind, who we are as the mind and how we can in fact support each other to assist those children to change and solve their experiences… but most importantly the Parents of those and any other children to prevent ‘The Naked Rooms’ around the world where children attempt to get support from psychiatrists, while not even being aware of the root and cause of the problem: ourselves as individuals, as human beings that have never lived to the best of our potential – but have only ‘coped’ with reality through and as a mind system that generates constant friction and conflict as the experience of ‘living.’ And to grasp this there’s quite a lot of understanding and information to self-educate oneself about this, which I will provide at the end of this blog.

 

 

Self Forgiving the Sins of the Parents 

Once one understands how ‘who we are’ is the reflection of what we’ve always been since the beginning of ourselves as humanity, we can truly see that there is no other way out of our hatred, our anger, our despair, our grudges, our laments, our grief toward parents, children, relatives or authority figures other than applying the principle of Self Forgiveness. Without Self-Forgiveness it would be very difficult to come to a resolution about any form of abuse that one has experienced through one’s life, whether from parents or anyone else. So I suggest to dissolve the word tag of ‘parent’ for a moment and just see ourselves as human beings, not being born knowing ‘how to live’ and ‘how to be self-directive in our mind’  and begin applying Self-Forgiveness for allowing ourselves to be driven by thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions wherein as a child, one has no further idea as to what is being experienced within self – all the fear, the worry, the stress, the anger, the rage,the hate that is formed at home toward parents, siblings, teachers, schoolmates, all of it existing within self without proper direction other than medicines and ‘cures’ that don’t take into consideration the source and core of the problem: the who we are and have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind.

 

I’ve noticed that one of the most difficult things to do for children/people that have been abused by others – whether they are parents, siblings, relatives, schoolmates, etc. – is the ability to self-forgive, to absolutely take into consideration and understand why the other individual abuses, take into consideration their entire life, their entire upbringing, their social and economic background, their habits/addictions, their ‘modus vivendi’ and experiences and how they too also didn’t know at the same time HOW to deal with their own minds, and how it is the same for all of us – not a single one left without a mark – of passing this unresolved understanding of who we are as human beings from generation after generation up to the point where our ‘fuckups’ are escalating to the extent that one can only look at 3 year olds – or even earlier than that now –to already see the patterns they mirror of the parents and the generations that have gone before us.

One could say: well how come they learn to manipulate, to spite, to be envious and selfish, to be depressive, to be sensitive, to be angry, to hit others to get what they want, to treat others as superior or inferior, to like and dislike, to be a stubborn… and yes, a child is the entire reflection of the parents and of humanity in its entirety for that matter that only develops the rest of the pre-installed programming through the interactions with parents and the environment. And because it is only now that we are understanding these mechanisms that exist within the mind in the physical and the vital importance that this mind and physical relationship has in our upbringing, it means that we still have a lot to do in this world in order to make each one of us aware of this process, how to direct it, how to support ourselves so that we can start establishing solutions and a new educational process where we can change the world by changing humanity, which means: changing the way that we educate ourselves as human beings, which implies at the same time that the relationship between parents and children is the one we have to focus on, as it will be the guideline and blueprint for all other relationships developed by the child throughout their/our entire lives.

 

This also thus ties in with the previous blog entry wherein I explained to the people that first didn’t want to hear how it is about time that we STOP the patterns that we’ve continued from generation after generation in relation to the abuse of ‘educating children’ by hitting them, or teaching them to ‘fight/attack back’ upon abuse or become spiteful and vengeful… all of this MUST GO and Must be stopped by ourselves as the parents, the family members, the teachers, the siblings, the people around kids to become the examples of the way we can Always direct ourselves in a way that is best for everyone: self supportive, considerate, being able to communicate effectively, being the living words of the principles we want our children to embody as well and as such, children will learn by default  – from their very first interactions in a world where we all act and live by principle of what is best for all and as such, by default, learn how to live by principles too.

It is only an excuse and negligence to say that the human can’t change, that we can only resort to psychologists or psychiatrists – this is unacceptable. What we require is to apply a New understanding and vision of who we are as human beings in order to support every single being that comes into this world to adopt the new living ways that we can begin living within ourselves individually and in the ‘without’ as the way the world system operates. For that, investigate the Living Income Guaranteed to provide support for parents to have sufficient time to stay at home implementing the new education available for parents and for any other individual –regardless of being a parent or not – at the DIP Lite course for free.

 

It certainly won’t be the same to bring a child to a self-supportive world where you have a guaranteed income/have your human rights being genuinely granted and assured with money provided to you from birth than a baby that is born in a condition of poverty in a third world country where not even a solid foundation of family or parents exist, because everyone is on a survival modality. It doesn’t make sense anymore to continue allowing our children to grow up in front of the TV and computer screens or taken care by ‘third parties,’ and the reason why this is so is because everyone has to ‘get a job to live’ and there’s no support given to parents to get time to educate their children. This should make it clear how it is all of us that are ‘shooting our leg’ by not providing to each other the right to life, so it’s about time we understand that the new way of Living is to Support Ourselves and Support All Life Equally to become our fullest potential.

 

To learn how to stop being only a mind that perpetuates the patterns and sins of the fathers, research:

 

Parental Support:

 

Parenting and Educational Blogs:

 

Vlogs:


263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the thoughts of me being inherently flawed and incomplete and unfulfilled is in fact who I really am, and within this, seeking for a remedy and solution outside of myself through drugs, spirituality, money, sex, entertainment, sports, media and everything that I have participated in in order to not have to investigate How I have created such self-experience through my own participation in my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it difficult to wake up every morning and start a new day, because I have allowed myself to Think as the memory that I have been and become, instead of breathing and being as unconditional as the physical body that I am that does not take a moment to ‘think’ about its existence, but is unconditional in self movement – I realize that I have allowed myself to be tormented by my own self-belief of there being something ‘wrong’ with me and starting thinking that this life is ‘not worth living/ I am not worth living’ and within such thinking processes, I lead myself to seek for a quick fix that will alleviate this inherent self-loathing, self deprecation that leads to self destruction that is sought through anything that can give me a sense of pleasure and enjoyment, even if it is for a moment – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resort to drugs and any other activity that I have turned into a habit as a way to avoid seeing myself as my own mind, which is the actual origin of this instability and dissatisfaction that I experience myself as and that I try to escape from, without realizing that I cannot escape from myself through using drugs or any other means to avoid looking at my self responsibility within creating such self-loathing thinking, and instead I see that I must investigate my own thinking, my own feelings and emotions as the origin and source of this dread that I experience as ‘my life.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention, my focus and produce energy to all thoughts linked to a dissatisfaction with life, believing that I can’t go on anymore/ this is just too much/ what’s the point in living? – and within these thoughts allowed myself to go seeking for a way out through drugs, spirituality, sex, consumerism and anything that I have linked to a positive experience in life, without realizing that such habits are only ways to further separate myself from looking at myself as the origin and cause of such instability at a mind level.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to really look within myself how is it that I can change my way of being from one moment to another based on the stimuli that I get from the outside world, and within this, not realizing that if I can change myself in one single moment to experience myself in either a positive or a negative experience, this must mean that these aberrant thoughts of self-deprecation and unfulfillment are equally stoppable and preventable, as I realize that it is only through my own participation that I have given attention to become them, embody such instability through fueling such thoughts as who I am, instead of for a moment breathing and stopping to see What am I actually giving my attention to? What am I actually feeding here? Is this really who I want to direct myself to be thinking as? And within this, assist and support me to stand outside the usual self-deprecation that I have experienced as ‘my life’ and ‘who I am,’ which I understand is able to be stopped, self forgiven and corrected as I realize that who I am as a physical being does not exist as self-destructive thoughts, but it is only me as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that I have given my breaths away to these experiences, without having any idea of how my mind operates in my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about my experience at a mind level through thoughts, emotions and feelings, instead of using my mind to instead place my attention and focus on the physical reality that I embody as  my physical body, and within this observe the common sense of what unconditional living is: unconditional movement to function properly as a living-system that maintains the actual life that we are as living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of looking back at my own thoughts and understand ‘who I am’ and have become through understanding my thoughts and creating a point of self-correction as my mind/ as my thoughts, I have tried to quiet my mind/ stop thinking through using drugs, sex, alcohol, media, books, entertainment, friends, any and all things and people that I have in fact used and abused in order to ‘get lost’ within myself, without realizing that in this condition, I am not only abusing others but myself as my physical body because I had not seen, realized and understood how it is that the mind can only function through consuming the physical substance of our physical body, which means that every time that we think, become emotional or participate in positive feelings, I am in fact not living but only fueling a system within and as myself as the mind that I have not yet aligned myself to in order to be the directive principle of what I decide to participate in, realizing that the actual expression of myself has never existed and that all that I have been is a mind consciousness system of patterns that I have believed is ‘who I am’ and are immovable, unchangeable – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within these thoughts of giving up my ability to change, I have resorted to mitigate the problem and try and hide from my own mind through using drugs, alcohol, sex, any form of entertainment that instead of it being a self directive decision to entertain myself, experience sex and a genuine self-expression as a physical being in this world, I have made of everything just a drug that I can hook myself to in order to ‘cope with reality,’ instead of realizing how coping with reality is a sign of me not looking at myself as the origin and cause of such problem and distress in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within this inherent instability as the mind, we have equally created a world that is equally unstable due to us never having had the considering toward Life as who we are – and in this, becoming actual zombies that accept things ‘as they are’ without  a question, seeking for a meaning and purpose in life outside of yourself, instead of actually understanding the responsibility that we hold toward ourselves as our physical body, our mind, every single thought, every single emotion, every single feeling – there is nothing and no one to blame for how this world has turned out to be this way, it is our collective participation and within that,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ‘state of the world’ as it being ‘fucked up’ and use this excuse to numb myself from myself and separate myself from being self-aware through using drugs, medication, sex, alcohol, entertainment and my own mind of imagination, feelings, emotions that I have believed is in fact who I am – without realizing that in this attempt to ‘escape’ from this ‘fucked up world,’ I am becoming an equal co-creator of ubiquitous negligence that we have participated in within our reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a meaning to life through using relationships, drugs, entertainment and my own mind to separate myself from the reality that I have inf act allowed myself to participate in without being aware of what my relationship to everyone and everything in fact is, and how with me wanting to ‘escape from reality’ and take drugs to solve the problem, I am in fact only adding up to the social problem we’re living in, wherein life has never been lived but only abused and as such, I realize that through my self-abuse I never contributed to any living expression thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about reality, complain about the system, complain about nothing in this world working outside of myself, but never pondering how it is that I am contributing through my own thoughts and emotions for it to not work work/ function properly, which is the key factor that I realize will enable me to realize one thing: If I am in fact willing to assist and support myself and stand as a sound being that can take my life in my hands and will myself to live, I can in fact do so, I can dedicate my life to get to know me, how I created this flawed self experience and such, take my life on my hands and walk a process of self-correction through Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty, Self Corrective Application wherein I can in fact become a self-responsible being that stops seeking for a remedy, a solution, a way Out of myself, as I see and realize that using drugs or any other means of escaping from myself only aggravates my self-experience and can lead to an inevitable premature death – because death is certain anyways for all beings – however, I would have to ask myself: am I ready to die and have the certainty that I have done everything that is available in my reality to support myself?

 

I realize that nothing and no one will change me, nothing and no one will provide a solution other than the one that I direct myself to live – and this is how through my own words, through the very same tools I have used to define myself as thoughts, feelings and emotions, I can become a self directive being that understands how it s that I am perfectly able to stop participation in all thoughts that I see are not self supportive, stop participation in all emotions that I realize lead me nowhere but further down the rabbit hole and also stop seeking the opposite positive experience, as I realize that happiness is a mental place that is not sustainable as a living-actuality of who I am as the physical body.

 

I realize that self-stability is able to be lived as a will and decision to support myself to be and become this physical stability, equal to the one we are breathing in every single moment that we are here on this Earth. It will take time – yes – but the decision is able to be made and lived in every momenta s a constant decision of who I will myself to be.

 

I realize that  I have spent a lot of time entertaining myself with my thoughts that I got lost within it all and as such, I have to deliberately direct myself to stop any craving for a positive experience or negative experience that I have become so used to in my mind, take my life on my hands, and begin footing myself as breath in every moment, writing myself out to see who I am in one day as my mind , as I realize that every solution I thought was  adequate to myself as my mind has only become more consequential without an actual solution but further dependencies on people, places, drugs, substances in order to get a temporary high, which is unsustainable and will only lead me to self destruction.

 

I realize that I don’t require to buy, consume or seek for remedies outside of myself, nor do I requite to seek for a meaning or purpose to life outside of myself as an energetic experience, but that I am already here, complete and whole as myself and that any perceived problem is only existent at the level of my own mind that is in fact the nature that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and proven to be consequential and conflictive to myself, it does not support myself as life nor does it support any other living being –

 

I commit myself to live the realization that it is common sense to assist and support myself to decide to walk a process to support myself to Live and as such, to become a living example of what it is possible to be and become when existing as breathing, living earthlings that start looking outside of our tunnel vision of self deprecation and start considering the life that we have blinded ourselves from through our own participation in the mind, instead of being here as the physical. 

 

I commit myself to develop self worth, self respect and integrity as a human being that is no longer willing to support any form of self abuse which is stopping participation in all thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have become as our mind, and in fact be willing to give myself another opportunity to live and become the expression of life that I always wanted to be and become, which I realize can only be real if every single being is equally supported to live in dignity and care for one another.

 

I realize that the physical support I am able to give to myself is existent here as myself, as the physical body that I commit myself to feed properly, to exercise, to breathe and become aware of every breath which is a constant self-directive attention that I commit to give to myself, as I have seen, realized and understood how it is in fact possible to stop the parasitical ego from becoming an unfulfilled leech that I am always feeding through my participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings that I am in fact able to stop.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the political and economical system that will ensure that no more beings seek a way out of the world, our minds, our own self-experience because of not having a proper education, living support as food, water, shelter, comfort and a living right to express and enjoy what is here within the basic foundation of supporting ourselves as equals/ in equality, to live, to be self directive and honor ourselves as the life that we have embodied  and never again neglect life as we have done thus far.

 

“There is One Way Out, which is Death. Or there is Another Way out, which is Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty. One of the Two are your Future.

The One Allows you the Gift of Life, as Part of this Physical World. The Other means: you have to Start All Over again, because you didn’t have Enough Integrity and Willpower to Care about Life, and your Self-Interest Won the Day.
WHO will you Be? Your Imagination? Or Real?
You Decide…for as long as you can. But, the Line is Drawn. And, if you Fail at this – you Will be withdrawn from Earth.” –Bernard Poolman 

 

Choose Life

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260. Homeless Drug Addicts Sleeping in Graveyards

260 is the amount of days in the Mayan Calendar Tzolkin and it happens to be the 260th day in this Journey To Life on the last day of this Gregorian calendar year, and the sounding of Tzolkin is like sulking – hence the association of what you’ll read in this blog today. Here’s to 2012 and all the false promises and prophecies that burnt to ashes as they should, so that no more hope is left within humanity, within the ‘wait and see’ attitude, indulging in numbers, planets, calendars and prophecies that only managed to keep everyone immobile for a long time, expecting ‘something’ to happen, adjudicating our global deterioration to some major shift that was about to happen by some divine ordeal, and no that is not a paradox, but that’s what we’ve managed to be and become in this world: making sense of suffering as some time of lesson to be learned to ascend to the heavens and become real benevolent beings after trials and tribulations that we imposed on ourselves.

 

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

Well, we’ve certainly come a long way as humanity in our gullibility to anything that leads to the promised land – whether ascension, extraterrestrials saving the world, the world ending, people suddenly being enlightened with a new consciousness –  this pretty much sums up the ignorance we’ve subsumed ourselves in, may the next year be the actual time to open our eyes, because the astonishing panorama of the end-times is hitting every graveyard near you, and no, it’s not zombies or the dead finally coming alive, but rather homeless drug addicts making a very valid statement: cemeteries are a waste of terrain that could be used for proper housing to those that have clearly nowhere to live/ nowhere to take a shit, no proper activity to do – how come we can expect things to ‘get better’ in our world by simply wishing-well for a ‘happy new year’ if we are neglecting to cover the basic services to dignify the lives of all human beings? I mean, what separates you/me from being such homeless addicted person sleeping in a graveyard? Do we have an extra elite-gene that allows us to have all the ‘good things in the world’? Are they damned? Were we born from godly creatures? Certainly we are all gods and quite irresponsible ones I’d say, since all our creative forces had been directed to satisfy an abusive self interest that has lead us to believe in external forces that could ‘solve the problem’ in our world, instead of realizing that we won’t certainly get to any form of ‘change’ if we are not even aware of what our fellow living earthlings are going through in this reality, an actual torture and physical suffering that is happening all the time, we’ve just decided to entertain ourselves properly to not be aware of it.

Bleak Future? No, rather looking at the consequences we manifested – seeing it through the positive or negative eye is just a matter of perception to either feel deludedly hopeful about something/ someone solving the matters of this world or feeling all down and negative within a depressive mood that leads us to simply justify our apparent inability to take responsibility for what we’ve become. Frankly, I’m tired of being either of as it is only the same irresponsible coin dressed up in victimization or cheerfulness that hides an inherent fear to face the reality that we are manifesting here, every single day. Now that’s the real alarming situation.

 

Homeless SLEEPING inside graves at Cambridge cemetery after pushing stones off the top of tombs

 

Homeless drug users were seen pushing the stones off the top of tombs and using them as beds for the night.

Horrified passers-by spotted the disrespectful squatters sitting in the graves in Mill Road Cemetery, Cambridge, while injecting themselves and drinking.

The site has been plagued by drunkenness, littering, drug taking and reports of the homeless people defecating on the plots over recent months.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2255328/Homeless-drug-users-SLEEPING-inside-graves-pushing-stones-tombs.html#ixzz2GfopCaT4

 

Who would be more disrespectful: a person that is using a graveyard as a sleeping place due to being homeless a.k.a. an absolute ‘ghost’ and ostracized bastard son in society that is not being equally supported to have a dignified living, which would mean, having an actual Home to live in and develop an actual living-expression – OR people that buy pieces of land to bury organic matter in fancy 5-thousand-dollar caskets to preserve meat for the maggots to eventually eat, disregarding the fact that such massive amount of land could be used to build houses for those that have non?

 

Does anyone stop for a moment to ponder: hmm,  but why do they turn to drugs, why are they homeless? People get high with inhaling cement and paint as well as paint-thinner here in order to mitigate the pains that starvation brings. They can’t even afford to be drunksters. I actually had a chat with a hobo-drunk man in a day like today some 6 years ago. That’s probably the moment when I broke my own taboos toward ‘homeless people’ and never speaking to them – you know, that type of thing your mother tells you to do whenever one would see them sitting on the sidewalks begging for money. Last person I saw this way was in downtown Mexico City, we were all busy going around during the day of the dead, celebrating ‘death’ while allowing our people to starve, quite paradoxical as anything in our reality. He had his skin very tight on the ribs – I walked by and simply breathed – could I solve the man’s problem right there? No.  Is he the result of our accepted and allowed world-system that decides to ‘forget’ / neglect to support all people equally? Yes. That points out how our current ways of referring ourselves to ‘hobos’ and ‘drug addicts’ as the ‘scum of society’ is a blatant nice positive way of abdicating our responsibility toward them. Have we asked them HOW they got themselves to such position? What I’ve found is hobos were people as normal as you and I that decided to give up on themselves due to living in a world system that could not ‘afford’ to support them to continue having a proper living condition, and of course, having a hobo-life means you can get drunk all day and shoot up drugs because there’s ‘nothing left to live for.’ There are other conditions like kids living in the streets that are born in the streets and never get a change to get a better life, simply because: they’ve never known any better.

 

I bet you have been in the same situation, even if it is not drugs or being absolutely drunk all day, but you do have a ‘something to live for’ as a temporary high that you have regarded and cherished as that little piece of heaven to live for, which is usually a mind experience. Why have we reduced our lives to these temporary flicks? Well, if everything around us as the ways and methods in which ‘the system works’ are based on self abuse – meaning our relationship to ourselves as our physical body, the mind and what we do onto the Earth within this same mechanism – then it is obvious that no ‘exemplar citizens’ can stem from that. Only elitist people can rejoice in calling out ‘improper deeds’ such as being a ‘homeless drug addict that sleeps, shoots up drugs and shits in graveyards’ and missing out completely the fact that it is a Human Being that one is referring to, an equal and one to yourself/myself/ ourselves.

How hard is it to ‘compute’ that? Very, specially when being able to know more about these individuals and realizing that they are human beings just like you and me that simply had no support in one moment of their lives wherein they simply ‘lost it all’ – or never ever had anything in the first place – and with that, they lost themselves, went down the perceived ‘easy way’ such as getting high and drunk in an attempt to avoid facing the stark reality that this world becomes for someone when there is no money left to have a ‘wonderful beautiful life’ as any positive person or anyone with money – including myself- would claim to have.

 

When I was talking to that hobo, I realized that I was not seeing him as an equal of course, I was in my ‘doing good’ flickering moments of approaching that which I was supposed to stay away from and attempt to make of an actual confrontation of reality just another story to tell  – what did I learn? Nothing, the man was absolutely speaking like a broken record for an hour and then we parted ways, I continued with my life and all the dreams I had, seeking to be something ‘great’ and just keeping this memory as some ‘nice encounter,’ like a charity that one does to keep for a ‘future moment’ wherein I could look back at my life and say: yes! I once had a cool time talking to a hobo downtown and learned to appreciate everything that I  have and the opportunities life has given ME.

Wow, really, wow. This is how we all thing: thanking for the benefits we currently have while ignoring WHY we have simply decided to give ourselves this nice living condition and deliberately denying such equal right to everyone, in Equality – health, love, money – all new year’s wishes must be written in stone for the remainder of our existence to always give to each other the necessary means to live in dignity, no need t wish for that when we can practically agree to provide that for each other.

 

Back to the graveyard: preserving the corpses in fancy tombstones, for what? For another hundred years? I’ll present you what they end up looking like after some 300 years…

 

DSC08153

 

Great trophies for our future children? I would seriously propose no cemeteries to ever be created and placed as part of the planning of a city, it’s a huge waste of terrain that could hold instead a natural reserve where people could build their own earthship houses – how’s that? Too much dreaming? I don’t think so, I mean the entire business of the dead/ dying is quite a useless expense due to the belief that you have to preserve your body for whatever reasons you Be-Lie-ve you must. I mean, would you preserve a fish in your fridge till the end of your lifetime? for what? will you eat it then? does it serve any purpose? My father bought three spaces in a cemetery some years ago, I told him it is a waste of money, I want to be buried in a potato sack underneath a tree, or at least nearby where I can give this body back to where it comes from: the dust of the Earth.

‘One resident said she was shocked when she saw a male sitting on a grave with his trousers down injecting himself in his thigh in full view of everyone.’

The shocking sightings come as latest figures show an increase of 23 per cent in those sleeping rough in the UK for 2010-11.

Gail Marchant-Paisley, a city councillor for the Petersfield area of Cambridge, said problems with anti-social behaviour in the cemetery were long-standing but seemed to be getting worse.”

Welcome to the year 2013 on Earth, where people are still homeless, helpless, hooked on drugs and still having moralists complaining about their eyes being sore of seeing such barbarism while holding a magnificent plastic card in their purse that holds the power to prevent them to end up being such man or woman with no trousers and shooting up drugs to cope with a reality that has decided to forget about Them being human beings well.

 

We haven’t, we just have to get together to propose a solution and actually stand for what’s best for all, because we all KNOW what’s best for all and as such, it’s time to use our brains to develop a system that will ensure no more corpses are stored in massive areas of land that can be used to give proper living areas to people, where no more people will ever suffer from having no ability to live in dignity, and where drugs will only exist as a remnant of a past where humans had to ‘cope with reality’ to avoid facing the neglect imposed toward one another – this must be the end of the past and it begins with each one of us, we must be the ones that ensure no human being is ever again homeless and without proper living care, because there is more than enough for everyone, we just have to decide to give it to each other in Equality: www.equalmoney.org

 

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R.I.P. 2012, a year of false prophecies and endless stories that only entertained ourselves – time to get our hands on the actual work to be done here.

DSC06389_001

 

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258. Spiting The System with Drugs

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept drugs as a form to overcome the dullness, the dissatisfaction and boredom that is experienced at a mind level when living in a society/ world system wherein ‘there is not much to do’ other than surviving through schooling/ jobs, having relationships and no aspiration to continue supporting such an enslaving system that is binding everyone to an endless payroll, and through drugs/ alcohol seeking a temporary ‘escape’ from the reality of suffering and abuse, without realizing that within indulging in drugs and any other harmful substance ingestion, one is contributing to perpetuate the same system of Self-Abuse that one tries to ‘overcome’ through taking drugs/ alcohol and sex – within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually see why drugs and alcohol have not been absolutely banned/ controlled from our reality, because it is the only way that ‘the slaves are happy’ – the slaves being us/ everyone living in this world system and having only the ‘right to life’ if having money in the pocket.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see why drugs – even in conditions of poverty and scarcity – are still an elitist resource to neglect one’s world and reality while existing as a justification and excuse of ‘the system is ignoring me/ I want to escape from this world,’ wherein a victimization is used as a form to retaliate against ‘the system,’ without realizing that the system is ourselves, and the more we retaliate and try and antagonize the system, we only feed the necessary polarity to cause further friction and conflict that generates further measures of control which leads to more extreme ways of drugs/ alcohol/ weapon trafficking as well as every other activity that goes hand in hand within this drug culture such as robbing, prostitution, gang formation, rapes, domestic violence, poverty, health problems, familial disruption and the list goes on.

 

I realize that the crisis that the ‘drug world’ is stemming from this initial belief of drugs being an ‘alternative’ to this reality as a ‘salvation’ from a physical nightmare, not realizing that such salvation/ little piece of heaven is actually the first step to get hooked on an addiction that will have to be maintained through using money, the same money that keeps this entire system in place which means that no drug consumption can be a way to ‘escape the system,’ since the very money – or any other activity done to ‘pay’ for the drugs – is directly existent within the rules in which our current capitalist system works – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how there is virtually no escape from our reality through buying/ consuming something that may alter our mind-reality for a moment, as this is equally supporting a business that is illegal, does not contribute to any form of collective benefit – such as taxes – it does not declare any legal profit as any other corporation that might be also antagonized by the ‘rebels’ in society that take drugs/ alcohol, which means that through enrolling in drug consumption/ drug smuggling one is being part of the machinery that is still accepted and allowed as an illegal business that actually runs more money than is often declared by major corporations around the world, which in itself points out how hypocritical it is to be a drug-consumer and dare to criticize the system and even use it as an excuse to consume drugs – without ever considering being part of a solution to create an actual well being that we are all aware is possible to create/ establish in this world – but instead, opt through the apparent ‘easy way out’ that leads to – most of the times – life-long addictions where money is required to keep up with one’s addiction, third parties are eventually harmed through one’s addiction, any form of stability in the system is lost and one’s money only contributes to the drug-trafficking business, which is one of the greatest sources of illicit enrichment in our society.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how it is through drug consumption that one inhibits oneself from being fully Here as an active participant in society that instead directs oneself to be part of a solution to everything that one wanted to escape from through using drugs/ sex/ alcohol as a way to ‘cope’ with reality. I realize that all the money, time, energy wasted to keep an alternate reality can instead be directed toward a point of self responsibility wherein one instead uses such money, time and effort to investigate how we are all equally responsible for how the system works, how it is actually greedy and selfish as the ultimate self interest to believe one ‘does no harm’ while using drugs – even if you are alone in your house – since drugs are the perfect slave-keepers that disable any ability to stand up within common sense to see How we can instead create solutions, and stop running away from the consequences we have created as humanity as this world system.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how all complains about the system’s control, disparity, violent measures of implementing justice that leads to injustice, favoritism, corruption and any form of abuse, is used as a justification to decide to take drugs and ‘be apart’ from this world/ escape from reality and ‘flipping the finger’ to ‘the system/ government’ – without realizing the extent of suppression and actual evasion that takes place when one decides to instead of facing oneself and taking self responsibility, indulge into drugs/ alcohol and any other form of ‘escapism’ in order to ‘feel free’ and ‘superior’ than the system, without having the audacity to question why would ‘the system/ the government’ would still allow such forms of self-abuse as ‘acceptable’ in an underground manner, which should be the actual point to realize here: a massive business such as drugs cannot be left ‘untouched’ by the government/ elites that obviously know such business and drug-culture exists, but it is better for them to keep the masses/people with stupefacient drugs and remaining getting money to pay for them, than actually becoming aware of how the system works, why not everyone is supporting each other equally, why we have created a system based on abuse and such actually become a real awareness that is willing to change the way the system works – within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how ignorant is it to actually claim to be ‘spiting the system’ through taking drugs/ alcohol or any other ‘illegal activity’ without realizing that nothing is able to be ‘spiting the system’ as long as profit is made, as long as someone benefits from a drug business  -thus it is to realize how naïve is to consider oneself as a drug consumer as someone that is ‘out of the system’ or ‘more clever’ than the rest of the people that ‘do not consume drugs,’ without realizing how it is actually the other way around, wherein a drug consumer is hooked on paying money/ getting money for a temporary mind-energetic experience while believing there’s some form of ‘freedom’ in doing so, without looking at the obvious self-enslavement that is created within this drug-addict paradigm in which we exist as humanity, no matter ‘where’ in the world we are.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the actual selfishness that exists within drug consumption, wherein one believes that one is ‘stepping out of the cogwheel’ in the system by using money to consume drugs, without being aware of how such money contributes to businesses that do not declare any form of profit in a legal manner, do not pay taxes and as such only create ‘clean’ integral amounts of money for the benefit of a few that have made the greatest businesses in their life out of human’s weakness for an energetic experience as a temporary high and numbing of one’s reality due to ‘problems’  – either internal or external – that are all generated at an individual level in each human being that has accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become our mind that is always seeking for an energetic experience to ‘feel alive.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the ways in which money moves and is created in this world, neglecting how banks benefit from the money that runs within illegal businesses of drug-trafficking and instead, decide to believe that ‘I am doing no harm with my own drug-consumption’ – without realizing that no act is ever isolated in a system wherein all parts are always affecting the whole through thought, word and deed.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that indulging in drugs was a way to become a ‘militant of the truth’ wherein the delusions created while being on drugs are beliefs of self being ‘superior’ or ‘more clever’ than the rest of the society that doesn’t indulge in drugs – without realizing how drugs as a business is the perfect way for a few to make a lot of money, since we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create a condition of addiction to the mind’s experience at a physical level through chemicals and substances that create a self-experience that we have defined as ‘more’ than ourselves – and in this, becoming actually tunnel-visioned zombies that care-less about the whole-reality of this world, how it works, how money operates, what are the solutions to this reality and instead, one reduces one’s world to only seeking moments to get high/ get drunk/ take any form of drug as a way to ‘cope with a reality’ that we are equally shaping through our neglect and irresponsibility of taking drugs/ alcohol as a ‘solution,’ which proves the level of ignorance we have all collectively shared and adopted as ‘who we are’ in order to avoid having to look at ourselves as the creators of the world we have tried to escape from through becoming drug addicts.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how such a perfect form of control is able to be implemented by those with specific interests to keep the ‘masses’ occupied in ‘getting high/ getting the next fix’ – as this narrows down any possibility of actual human awareness of the system of abuse and how we are all equally responsible for it – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how it through the condition of myself accepted and allowed as a mind that enjoys certain experiences of emotions and feelings, that I become a potential drug-user which is not only in the form of our street-drugs/ illegal drugs, but legal drugs for psychological treatments and procedures to create an apparent ‘remedy’ to a condition that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to develop as ‘who we are’ the moment that we believed ourselves to only be our mind and equating life to an experience, missing out all potential to discover what life  really is when reducing it to a series of chemical reactions that must be constantly generated through drugs/ alcohol or any other substance that functions at a mind level, which implies that:

We are all equally responsible for the existence of drugs as a problem in our society, since drugs only function at a mind level and the moment we have all collectively agreed to create a system that only satisfies a few mind-systems seeking constant fulfillment/ pleasure through experiences of the mind we are all agreeing to ‘live’ only to experience these experiences at a mind level defined as ‘happiness,’ without investigating why and how we have to seek for such ‘highs’ and then drop into a low within the mind, and as such realize that the can be an actual physical and tangible way to prevent drug-addiction sin this world, and that is through implementing a world-system based in Equality, wherein our current capitalist system can be aligned toward a best for all outcome with equal-share of all the benefits that only a few get and as such, build the societies that we only ‘dreamed of’ and sought to escape to in our imagination, while missing the fact that we have what we require to do so, to live it out in reality and work together to implement such well being – and within this it is to also see and realize that

 

One will have to give up this self-experience of fulfillment and enjoyment at a mind level to actually focus on the matters at hand as the physical reality that we must all become aware of how it works i n terms of the actual social, political and economical system that has lead us to the current state of the world that one seeks to escape – and instead, direct such anger, frustration, boredom and resentment toward ‘the system’ toward a feasible and practical solution that can be implemented by political means wherein all common sensical living as what’s best for all, is always able to be identified by oneself.

 

It is thus to realize that there will be no need to ‘escape from reality’ if we all instead dedicate ourselves to create a world system that supports all beings equally as Life, creating an actual respect for oneself and each other to create a system wherein on one will have a need to ‘escape’ an actual heaven on Earth we can all agree to create through a democratic vote that each one has the power to exert within the  Equal Money System – it is about time we stop numbing and harming our being that is fully functional and that of others through promoting ways to ‘escape the system’ and instead, work together to make of it the system and reality that we have always wanted to live in but believed ourselves to be incapable of changing – that is no more.

 

No more Highs and, No More Lows.

 

 

 

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243. The Sublime and the End of the World

While listening to the Doomsday Activist Life Review, I realized that I had precisely gone for the exhilaration and experience of having a certain moment wherein ‘something’ had to happen in this world  as an ultimate doomsday scenario/ Armageddon type of event, because there were just ‘too many points converging into the same day’ that it was almost undeniable that something would happen, but what? I actually thought for a moment that consciousness would cease to exist that day  – lol – and before Desteni, I thought it was time for a major catastrophe that I simply ‘dreamed of.’

 

“So, it’s interesting that, it has never been Questioned: “Why are there so many different, varying “One’s” and each One believe itself to be “the Right One.” I mean, all the different Prophecies/Predictions cannot ‘materialize’ Simultaneously…with some believing in Ascension, others Jesus coming, others The End of the World by a physical/natural Occurrence and all the different Prophecies/Predictions are aligned with a particular Spirituality/Religion/Movement/Science and each one of those believe themselves to be “the Real Deal”. That, within this – human beings have not seen, realised and understood what all these “the One’s / Chosen One’s” have in common: they abdicate All Responsibility of Individual Human Beings to/as what ‘life on earth’ is/has become, and facilitate more as a distraction and preoccupation from/of Self-Responsibility, Life Responsibility to/as this Physical Existence.” – Sunette Spies *

 

To understand this point better and how I made of ‘The End of the World’  ‘my theme’ and favorite topic is looking also at some of the artwork that I made, which was mostly doomsday-like which I explain here  2008 Paintings portraying slavery of system and can be reviewed at the top of this blog in the Artwork section.

 

Even after a while I kept doing the same thing, doing series of different characters that would end up being part of this depiction of the end of the world, which reveals how much I was truly expecting it, desiring it, making it a recurrent topic and driving-force to be ‘creative’ just because I would get a kick out of it. This is what I could Identify as Sublime after reading Heaven’s Journey To Life blog that I will quote later on.

 

According to Schopenhauer and the ‘types of sublime’ I will be looking at are:

  • Sublime – Turbulent Nature. (Pleasure from perceiving objects that threaten to hurt or destroy observer).
  • Full Feeling of Sublime – Overpowering turbulent Nature. (Pleasure from beholding very violent, destructive objects).

 

According to E. Burke: “With his Philosophical Enquiry into the Origin of our Ideas of the Sublime and Beautiful (1757) Edmund Burke defined canonically its aesthetical prominence as the satisfaction arising from the removal of an imminent threat.” – Wiki Entry on Sublime

 

Last Man on Earth

Last Man on Earth 2009

 

I’ll place one ‘static example.’ This is the last man on Earth. And I would usually depict people having One eye closed, probably depicting that we have always deliberately ‘played blind’ to not see what we are doing to each other and this world, and this man as the last man on Earth turned eventually one-side blind as a result of having neglected reality. It also expresses the shame and regret about what we’ve done. His appearance is deliberately depicting our self consumption when living for the ideals of the ‘who we are’ in the mind– his clothes denote a battered ‘elitist lifestyle’ that has gone through trials and tribulations, some sort of survival point upon the death of the rest of humanity and animas. He’s standing upon a thousand words yet he seems to have nothing to say but his heart is beating and his lungs seem in a good state – he is alive. His hands have turned into the symbol that depicts life, he might be able to start from scratch to create a new world that supports life in Equality, if he can forgive himself past all the regret.

 

Continuing from:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the ‘end of the world scenarios’ as a source of excitement and exhilaration due to the actual fear that I would have with regards to witnessing an ‘end of the world’ scenario, without actually taking into consideration what such ‘end’ would mean and how it is that we would be in essence drawing ourselves back to zero and actually miss out the opportunity to use what is already here as this world and simply give it direction within a new consideration, a new path which is Life in Equality,  and within this: there is no need to destroy/ obliterate the world, but we can simply agree to slowly but surely go stopping our current ways in which we are existing as world-system and civilization and consider new ways of living wherein we can start regarding the environment/ the ecosystem as an actual living being equal and one to ourselves, and within that, establish solutions so that we stop the mass extinction, abuse and exploitation of life in the name of our personal benefits as ‘progress’ and ‘evolution’ that is only the result of us disregarding life and using it to power up our mind-realities of what ‘advancements’ are supposed to be like, disregarding the fact that the life of human beings, animals, plants is not taken into consideration when only using what is here in the name of power/ success/ evolution that is in fact only the evolution of the mind, not life quality. This also implies that I only used this ‘hype’ to tag along and generate an entire personality based on this ‘death and destruction’ ideals, simply because it is so much easier to hope for the end of the world than actually doing something to sort it out and create a new start for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice and get excited about a possible ‘something’ happening in 2012 in order to wake up humanity, and expecting some form of cloudy messy doomsday on a particular date, without realizing that within such waiting it is only a distraction and entertainment to not look at the reality that is already here and pretty much existing  in a doomsday scenario, wherein the billions that have no support from the system to live in dignity live a doomsday on a daily basis – within this (Watch ‘In Heaven everything is fine’ video below.)

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to romanticize this ‘end of the world’ for my own entertainment and ‘delight’ as that expectation and getting a kick out of participating in imagination as all sorts of pictures and end of the world scenes that I would simply dedicate myself to paint, because I wanted to in one way or another be able to ‘predict’ what would happen and as such, also depict myself as one of the last standing on Earth, being a ‘chosen one’ which is the actual desire that I had and wanted to fulfill as a self-prophecy that I wanted to witness, no different to me being expecting a certain ‘event’ such as a concert or a trip and generating the same amount of expectation and excitement about it, which proves to what extent I actually disregarded what such pain and suffering really Is and only made images about it for the sake of propelling my own fascinations as the actual fear that I had toward witnessing some form of ultimate destruction on Earth – which is what I will have to go through as what I in fact experienced. Sublime experience.

 

Now, I suggest reading HOPE – The Metaphysical Carrot: DAY 237

and specifically HOPE – the Metaphysical Carrot (Part 3): DAY 239 

 

I left a comment there with the following realization:

Concepts like the ‘sublime’ have become clear through reading this, which is something I would link to 2012 in the past, all of this from the branch within philosophy and aesthetics of an image/painting that would cause you this ‘sublime experience’ as an actual fear turned into a point of attraction/ rejoice – which is also what Mykey explained in #9 Demons in the Afterlife Interview – all makes sense now.

Here I share some on this point from the Wiki entry on sublime:

“Burke’s treatise is also notable for focusing on the physiological effects of the sublime, in particular the dual emotional quality of fear and attraction noted by other writers. Burke described the sensation attributed to the sublime as a “negative pain” which he called delight, and which is distinct from positive pleasure. Delight is taken to result from the removal of pain (caused by confronting the sublime object) and is supposedly more intense than positive pleasure.”http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sublime_(philosophy)

So essentially, same mechanism of ‘hope’ but sublime is more focused even more so just on the energetic experience in itself, without any form of ‘change’ but plain delight/ pleasure and all of that which is caused when looking at terror from afar. What a great mindfuckistic reality we have created. It is definitely time to stop.

 

I cannot say anything else but, this is an entire energetic experience that I had been quite keen on, the point of turning a fear into a fascination and the ‘end of the world’ is one of the fascinations I cultivated ever since I was probably a 5 years old or so when I wanted to be alien abducted with my dad, lol which is precisely what I describe in that video, later on fueled by songs like ‘Spaceman’ by Babylon Zoo – lol. Now, I am reviewing this just to see to what extent we can turn fears into fascinations and even more so, making it a point of pleasure/ excitement/ exhilaration and entertainment/distraction for MY personal experience, MY satisfaction, MY own delight, MY inspiration, depressions and general lack of desire to live, simply because of being subsumed in this ‘I want it all to end’ type of self-experience, just an absolute victimization that has permeated my being till this very day, as I see that any form of ‘lack of drive’ is just because I am not feeding anymore my usual energetic experiences that I had linked to a constant ‘looking forward’ to the future, but instead, the hereness that I am integrating myself as is experienced as a junky going on rehab, that’s what is ‘tough’ about this process and this is but one aspect of what I will be ‘withdrawing’ from.

 

Even the music that I listened to like Godspeed You Black Emperor – my favorite band within the schemes of my last ‘music junky’ fanatic phase –  I could define as this type of ‘Sublime’ / End of the world experience- you can read their story here for the first time told by themselves, since they are the type of people that would rather not speak at all but ‘let their music speak’ and have a look at the type of mentality I was absolutely drawn to, which became my inspiration on a daily basis within my life some 6 years ago.  I’ll leave a couple of videos I made with their music at the end of this blog.

 

When placing all of this little world of my own fascinations into perspective of the actual reality that is going on, I see that I am still drawn to this ‘romantic’ side of reality instead of focusing on the actuality of what is here and focusing not on cultivating further experiences I might get from music or arts in this doomsday-everything is fucked-vein for that matter, but focusing on actual reality considerations that I can educate myself on in order to stop any form of personal-endeavors to cultivate my fascinations instead of taking Self Responsibility for what is here.

 

So I’ll be walking this ‘branch’ of my artistic personality related to the sublime specifically and end of the world/lack of desire to live in blogs to come. This is what happens when a single character such as the ‘tormented artist’ in reality justifies absolute irresponsibility that becomes a morbid fascination and delight and see it as ‘okay’ it is an aesthetic category, it’s okay to cultivate it. Good for you, little artist.

 

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224. Cultivate Your Personality: Human Egoism gone Mainstream

 

Elitist Character: Cultivation of Personalities – Self Corrective Statements and Realizations.

 

When you realize how one is the product of our society but society exists as ourselves, as our mind projected as a conglomeration of individuals that attest to one another’s existence in a world where life is sold, you realize that invariably so nothing of ‘who you are’ can be real if it is only the accumulation of knowledge and information lived out as ‘who you are’ – therefore any desire to cultivate our wits, our egos, our characters can only exist if there is Money to perpetuate such selfish endeavor. That’s what we’ve become, that’s the foundation of our economy, of politics and any form of education that we’ve supported as our basic instilling of personality-cultivation in order to succeed above others – so, winners and losers were part of the scheme then? Yes, and giving to the least fortunate ones ways to entertain themselves with things like religion/ spirituality and entertainment. It’s rather difficult to go to a remote community – at least in this country – where people might live in poor conditions and not see a TV in their home, unless of course there is non of that at all and then we would be speaking about real people in real conditions that are absolutely out of our ‘scope’ of information that exists only according to what ‘the media’ presents us. Our reality has become as big as our screens and that’s as far as we’ve gone in terms of creating ideas of what life should be. Isn’t that the most limited form of existence? It is.

 

We’ve been watching lots of Derren Brown videos and I saw within myself how it is rather naïve how as humans we defend this arrangement of data as knowledge and information so seriously as ‘who we are,’ we walk throughout our entire lives to somehow ‘find a purpose in life’ without really ever getting any unless one makes it and lives it out. How could it be real if in one moment a person could forget who they are as in their own name, their entire history and ‘who they’ve been’ for others as well? Who have we been living for, is this accumulation of events with imprinted emotions and feelings everything that we are? Just pursuing some form of personal satisfaction and that’s it?

If a Killer can be made, then how come we’ve built our ‘fascinations’ around that which is carefully crafted to become just another form of entertainment for the masses? You can watch Derren Brown – The Experiments: The Assassin

So far we’ve lived that way – and it is in moments like this when everything is placed into perspective and I can see the petty battles to let go of people, things, preferences, the entire ‘who I am’ as self-definition, as if I had signed a contract to marry the artificial idea of myself. What’s more important within this all is how we walk our entire lives seeking a ‘meaning to life’ and that’s when we get lost trying to find meanings in people, spirituality, drugs, relationships, sex, money, glory in some form or way. Is that living?  Seeking and seeking and finding the next greatest thrill? No.

 

If everything we’ve become as our characters/ personalities ends at death, how could that be ‘real’  as part of who we really are? It can’t – it is real as long as we enact it as hypnotized characters playing out instructions given by the tell-a-vision, but I’ve also proven to myself how I can stop following along with characters in one moment and within that it’s like an actor revealing he’s only an actor in the middle of a play = breaks the spell of whatever emotional-feeling continuum is taking place. Do I feel more dead? At times it may seem like that simply because I had defined everything I was to a constant and continuous energetic experience, just like I programmed myself to come home from school and get out of the intelligent-well-behaved-responsible character and become the other me that few people really knew and listen to music non stop and solace myself with images on the TV Screen. No wonder I chose images as a career, no wonder I came to be fascinated for the things I liked and no wonder till this day it’s been a process to stop generating any sense of energetic experience about all those things, however, they are only relevant as long as I allow myself to be ‘in character’ to perceive reality from such an energetic-visual scope of view, which is how I can realize then that

 

When and as I see myself reacting with an emotional or feeling experience toward anything/ anyone that I had defined and cultivated as part of my fascinations – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can only create an experience if I allow myself to be ‘in character’ to react to people, words, music, pictures, colors in a particular way that I programmed myself to react accordingly to. Thus, I understand that every time I play the character, I am not here, breathing as my physical body, and that any sense of nostalgia for the past that I perceived as ‘freedom and expression,’ has only been a set of preferences as knowledge and information that was available to me according to my social-status and money situation, to which I added/ imprinted a positive experience to, as a way to compensate for the dread of the days as my routine that I had defined as dull while growing up – missing out the actuality of living because all I knew was what I had and what I would see people would ‘live out’ as a meaning of ‘living’ – which is what was linked to libertinage, ‘expression’ in outrageous ways that were only possible due to money.

 

When and as I see myself seeking some form of stimulation either through visuals or sounds and or music videos for that matter in order to ‘relive’ an experience of the past – I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can hear the music however be breathing and enjoy it for a moment here, without downloading all the plethora of past-times as memories that I had programmed myself to always ‘remember’ in order to believe that ‘my life had been a Life’ according to the amount of knowledge, information and experiences I would be able to store as a point of self definition, as the character that I had committed myself to live-as for the rest of my ‘life,’  and I realize that none of that in fact defines who I am as all of that is not existent here when I am breathing in every moment as the physical being that I am.

 

 

When and as I see myself wanting to get a ‘fix’ of entertainment as I used to whenever I reach a point of dread within myself and seek to go to the ‘past’ as visuals, sounds, pictures to get that experience, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have programmed myself to be constantly having a point to ‘look forward to’ in my life in terms of events, situations that would generate a certain ‘positive experience’ within me, and in this, never really living at all, but only perpetuating the basic mechanisms of self-indulgence wherein all that I cared for was ‘myself’ and that’s it. Nothing else mattered and no one else mattered but me, my entertainment, my infatuations, my own character evolution to get to be who I wanted to be, get the people that I wanted to be with and have everything that I had deemed as ‘my happiness’ – while doing everything I could to continue cultivating my personal satisfaction while In-Character.

 

I realize that if I had been a kid in a situation of poverty, I would have not known at all of any of the things that I became infatuated with, as well as those that I sought to deliberately oppose/ antagonize as a form of self definition. I Realize that the CULTivation of Personalities is only existent as a convenient entertainment mechanism in order to maintain individuals within this internal and external pursuit of happiness, while  maintaining and supporting the configuration of society  in a way wherein such happiness can be bought through products, artifacts, and expressions that are also the result of the same limited view upon life, which makes us ponder: how in any way could we speak about culture being important to humanity if everything that it’s been based on is  existent within this limited scope of who we are as Our Minds as the ‘intelligence’ that we believe is superior to all other beings while neglecting the reality that we are as our very own physical bodies and physical reality that is here regardless of us ‘thinking’ about it?

 

I see, realize and understand that I fell for the trick to ‘cultivate my personality’ and enter within a secret race to be the best, the most original/ authentic/ outrageous/ intelligent being that could be glorified for this lifelong achievements of accumulating knowledge and information within particular ‘sectors’ in our reality defined as ‘culture’ and within that, be recognized as ‘someone’ more than the rest, which indicates that everything that I made myself keen on was always having a point of self interest that lead to the same cultivation, accumulation and ‘capitalization’ of myself as a character that could be sold to any corporation or cultural institution as an ‘eminence’ for having had such a ‘fascinating innate taste for arts’ which was in fact not so, I did it all myself of course in an attempt to create a sense of specialness within me when compared to my peers – and that was it.

 

When and as I see myself seeking to validate my past according to what I know, what I own, who I have been, the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been to, the preferences I cultivated, the ‘achievements’ I had in order to create an idea of ‘having lived a life,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that all of that can be gone in one second and still would not define ‘who I am’ at all, as who I am is here  as the physical body that is not defined any longer by a past lived as a series of characters shaped, formed, molded and adapted to what the entire configuration of our society/ world-system is based upon.

 

I realize that every time that I am able to stop myself from perpetuating the past as who I am in every moment, I am able to stop feeding the characters and the entire world-system wherein we always would end up seeking/ asking for ‘more’ in one way or another – hence it is a red flag point: when and as I see myself seeking for ‘something’ or ‘someone’ to get  a sense of fulfillment going into memories and pictures/ experiences of the past, I realize that I am not here as breath, but that I am only seeking to relieve an energetic experience that I can simply decide to stop in one single moment and step out of the mind character to focus on the physical reality that is here for me to participate in.

 

I commit myself to expose how culture as we know it has been the key to create a sense of ‘pride’ and ‘superiority’ as species within humanity wherein we’ve only elevated our egos to semi-god statuses for having being able to create such ‘marvels’ that we’ve defined as artistic expressions, but, has any of that in any way really supported who we are as physical living human beings? No.  Hence the necessity to stop deifying ourselves as our own grandiose life-stories of past events as ‘who we’ve been’ and start committing ourselves to get educated on everything we’ve missed and neglected while being infatuated and occupied in cultivating characters of limited and contrived expressions that were meant to be sold to the greatest bidder, feeding a system of abuse and greed as the highest acts on Earth.

 

I commit myself to clarify how none of our current ‘fascinations’ or cultural fetishes would exist if there was no media apparatus within our world-system, and that we would not have been continuing seeking for more and more ways to exploit this ego-social system, if we had not all been ‘globalized’ through our current means of communication which should and must exist for the purpose of getting to know each other, support each other to stop existing as characters that consume life, get to a point of self realization of the responsibility we hold toward each other and our reality and all the beings that we’ve affected the lives of in our path to this egoification of reality, and start living a process of self-correction in order to recognize once again what to Live in fact a  life in Equality.

 

What’s the point in feeding each other’s obsessions but a form of emotional/feeling dependence that leads us all to a point of madness in reality, the moment we’re not able to continue fueling and fulfilling such paltry experiences that exist Only in our minds. I Look at the reality that we’ve become: the media, the showbiz, the money biz, the politics, the laws, the culture, the insanity and all of it is simply pointing out: Red Flag, this is about to crash and burn, step out of it as soon as you can – however, we cannot step out/ escape from the system because we are it to the extent wherein it is stored in our very flesh and muscle tissue in our physical body, still defining who we’ve become until we decide to completely walk a process of self forgiveness and self corrective application in order to stop participating in such self-conditioned ways of ‘living’ which have never been life in fact.

 

The current dissatisfactions, frustrations, voids and giving up experiences that lead us to seek more ‘exciting ways’ of entertaining our lives, is only an elitist act that we ‘e indulged ourselves in as an actual luxury of being able to evolve our characters with weirder and more ‘specialized’ preferences as long as we have the basic needs at our reach. If we had no money, our lives would be different, I would not be writing here about me and my glorious past, but would be working 16 hours a day to make a living in the poorest conditions – or maybe even worse. And this is how it is only us that have the time and resources that must make a stand to stop feeding any form of self-consumption through the glorification of the go, but instead form part of the solutions required to be implemented in this world, wherein the lives of the people that Do have to work 16 hours a day is no longer part of the enslavement that we’ve accepted and allowed and neglected while pursuing our own happiness – it is our responsibility to speak up for those that Really in fact don’t have a voice.

 

Is ‘culture’ something that is available to All human beings? No – hence can it represent humanity in any way? No.

 

We’ve been liars and deceivers building a rosy type of reality upon the actual suffering and abuse that billions of beings are going through on a daily level – yet we filled our lives with depressions, fascinations, anger, frustrations, boredom and dullness as well as self hatred for being having just about a perfect normal life with little to worry about in terms of physical well being. It reveals to what extent we’ve taken life for granted, and to what extent we have only lived as characters in our minds, disregarding everything and everyone else.

 

I commit myself to expose the realities we’ve ‘lived’ at an individual level from the starting point of self-importance, self-interest and the ultimate cultivation of our own ego to remain divided and secluded in our pursuit-of-happiness bubbles we’ve defined as ‘our lives’ and ‘who we are.’

 

This is not living. Yet we are alive as our physical body breathing here can indicate us – hence there is some serious self-reflection to do in order to align ourselves to a physical definition of ‘Living Life’ and In Fact start focusing on that which requires our immediate attention, dedication and intervention, to first wake up from these mass hypnotic act we’ve all participated blindly in, and start waking each other up and step into the realization that: nothing and no one will change if we keep quiet about this, about what we are now realizing has been a lie supported by all and affecting all equally to detrimental positions that we are currently living in.

We are the only ones that can stop ourselves in every moment that we decide to breathe instead of being in character and focus on that which actually matters in our own individual realities and the world as a whole – it is only through deliberate care that we can in fact step out of the mass-media conditioning we’ve adopted as our ‘lifestyles,’ and realize that we can only continue living if we snap out of our own mass hypnosis and care to become actual living breathing beings.

 

Desteni
Desteni Forum
Desteni Lite Process – Free Course to Learn about Yourself
Equal Money System – to support all beings equally as Life

 

Tunnel Vision – 2012

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220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

Perfect Elitist Enslavement with a belief of Freedom.

A branch of the Elitist Character is being able to form/ mold/ shape your ‘personality’ with traits of Your Choice – lol – which is the choice that money is able to spare when you have your life essentially ‘solved’ to not be begging for money on the streets or working and actually ‘earning your money.’  I’m going to be writing about what came to be a mix of an elitist-intellectual-revolutionary/antagonist/libertine character that was mostly sought to be ‘lived’ within my life through and as this kind of fascination to become ‘acculturated’ in the drug scene. Yes, in common sense, a person that is barely able to make money to live cannot possibly suddenly be trying to be fascinated by the effects that chemicals create inside your body, trying to reach some form of bliss/ enlightenment with particular substances, read books and information about it, watch movies on the topic or just hold on a continuous habit of indulging in them, which obviously requires one to have More money than the required to Live in order to pay for pills/ drugs to make You Happy. This is depicted quite well in a book by Brett Easton Ellis Less than Zero.

 

I went to the supermarket yesterday and noticed three guys being quite excited about getting a bottle of Jack Daniels while overhearing one of them saying ‘this place should be run by someone like my dad,’ complaining about the ‘slowness’ of the service to get the bottle, which was barely a 3 minute wait. I could imagine/project or almost predict their entire evening with a bottle of Jack Daniels, most likely ending up puking it out on the toilet, feeling like shit the next day and going with a massive hangover to their top-elitist university nearby. Yes, this is a ubiquitous pattern nowadays, a ‘lifestyle,’  and no it is not criticizing or judging it, this is what we have become: once you have money to cover your basic needs, You SEEK for something more than surviving – because that is already covered.

 

So this is an aspect of the elitist character, because there are many other conditions that lead to drug consumption, which is also the opposite polarity of poverty, which you can read her Huffing makes me Forget My Tummy Aches” based on the street kids that sniff cement or glue in order to mitigate hunger – as well as the toxic paint Romanian kids would sniff in that documentary that I also recommend watching if you haven’ Children Underground. That’s another point to walk in itself, but what I’ll share is from the perspective/ side I got to live in and be most ‘acquainted’ with – so to speak.

 

Drug Culture

I made up a conclusion of why Black Metal/ Death Metal brewed mostly in Scandinavian countries – later on in a then flourishing/stable America – that have the best and most stable economy and general well-being, in which I created a hypothesis that because everything was just ‘too fine’ and ‘happy’ in their world, they had to create some form of opposition to balance out the dread of having everything being seemingly fine inside, but the hell inside was not sorted out, as well as becoming aware of the obvious disparity it is to live in a ‘First world’ like that and having wars, poverty, starvation, abuse in any other place in the world;  yes, it is enough to already label us all Mad people to not see the obvious polarized ‘nature’ we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.  This is a similar point in our capitalist societies wherein we are absolutely living in a virtual world wherein things like Depression and Social Phobia have become a lifestyle – and I realize it’s not only a past-century thing, it’s always existed in humanity and the ‘crazy’ people were mostly out skirted in order to not cause any problems to the so-called healthy rest of the population – you can read that in ‘Stultifera Navis’ the First Chapter in Michel Foucault’s Madness and Civilization: A History of Insanity in the Age of Reason. (1988) wherein madness was certainly something that should be kept ‘away’ – nowadays, we’ve embraced it and called it a lifestyle fueled with designer drugs. Wow, really, wow. And why? Because Drugs = Addictions = Constant and Certain Profit Making = Lots of Money.

All of this is mixed into a cultural set of identification to a form of escapism due to how Alienated we’ve become from any form of actual understanding of how everything that enables life to be Lived is produced, what it is to work on our own sustenance. Instead we have focused on and then focusing on things that will give you a mental high in the comfort of your 4 walls room, which is how the majority of people are living as in this world.

I remember when going to the family doctor when I was a child, he would always have all these pens, notepads, rulers, sticks for your tongue and virtually everything plastic made around the area had names of medicines on them. I am sure you are quite aware of this and I questioned it at the time and my mother explained how the companies would give the doctors money/ commissions if they would sell a particular brand of medicine. I took it as normal since it was quite obvious that we were being sold many things all over the place, so it seemed when simply becoming aware of all the billboards on the streets and the suggestive ways in which to BUY our happiness, our health, our improvement, our sanity.

 

This morning I began hearing more than watching The Marketing of Madness  and I say I begun because I’ve barely gotten to the 3rd part out of 18, but as I was hearing, all this entire network of information was suddenly here for me to realize that I must now write about this. Why? I have had a strange fascination for drugs and madness and this goes as far as when I was a little girl and they would joke-threat me to take me to the Batán, which is/was the most well known mental hospital in a smaller city nearby where I lived. Why? I just liked playing crazy, it became a form of entertainment that’s for sure, it was something staged in order to attract people’s attention, well to freak out my parents and sisters mostly.  To me insane people were quite ‘free’ according to my schemes, which is what mostly fascinated me – why? Hell, All I know is that from the moment I got cable TV – as I’ve mentioned several times in the past, it was the ‘opening of myself to the world’ at the key-point age of 7 years old, I was more aware of the eccentricity of musicians and I would definitely always hear around the house how ‘artists take drugs / get high to look so careless/ free/ expressive’ which is what to everyone’s eyes would Justify their behavior as ‘careless’ = free.  Before that, just playing ‘crazy’ was something that could give me a thrill for doing something ‘out of the ordinary’ which I’ll open up in posts to come.

 

This is quite an extensive topic that I’ve been writing about here and there throughout this process, but it’s been not that long ago when I was busy with some other character that this entire insanity-point came up again, along with realizing the fascination I had with certain ‘alternative cultures’ based on what I grew up reading, watching on TV, learning from ‘artist’s biographies’ of how most of them had some form of insanity, drug addiction or plain disturbance, which is how I almost lead myself to touch upon those fields within a self-aware act of investigating madness and drugs, then defining all of this to be of my preference/likeness = self brainwashing. Why would that be? again, for the reason that I had the time, had the money to not be living only on survival mode and explore my own ‘personal fascinations’ for a while, enough time to now be able to write about everything that I saw, witness, tried out and have realized now when it comes to see how everything that I had thought to be quite a ‘rebellious act’ of the type of stuff that I was into/ that I liked, came to be just another polarity in the system that required my courageous fascination with things that I deemed as ‘forbidden’ in order to entertain myself further, leading me then into spirituality/ seeking god and wanting to mix both. I mean I was quite into researching DMT and Entheogens and all these ‘awakening’ procedures as well as the effects LSD had to ‘see beyond the veil’ and whatnot. My experimentation was not to get Lost or evade my reality, but to find some form of ‘divinity,’ lol this is the ultimate mindfuck that anyone can fall for in this world wherein you can buy anything you want, give it a meaning and call that a talisman for protection – same with drugs:  take it, feel good, realize that you re not ‘mad’ or ‘crazy’ but just an ‘Awakened’ person, yep and there you go: specialness + drugs + money + boredom = perfect slaves on drugs – or as Thom Yorke would write ‘a pig in a cage on antibiotics.’

 

Now, the personal endeavor to write about this is because I immediately noticed there were still reactions when hearing all these drug names, all the movies, books, relationships came to mind and I realized that I had not opened this point up mostly as a point of reservedness and morality according to how it would be seen as ‘insane’ to have some fascination for madness and drugs – both together were like a perfect cocktail for self-debauchery, that is quite ubiquitous in our current culture/ media, which is where I got it all from in the first place. Idolizing junkies is precisely not what I would want to continue perpetuating as a fluffy reaction within me – yes, there are feelings attached to this entire topic – why? That’s what I will find out as I continue writing here – a sense of freedom in a constrictive world? A sense of ‘limitless expression’?  As a result of writing out this, I experimented for sure that there are threads to be walked in order to stop keeping this fascination as part of my little-secrets to keep this bit of a world that I still wanted to be defined by, somehow, because of the entire participation in emotions and feeling when touching upon all things madness, drugs, eccentric behavior and the ‘inextricable human mind,’ which is part of my ability to now be quite thankful to Understand my Mind and be aware of how one can virtually pick any point of fascination according to what one is exposed to, and use it only as a constant point to re-fuel an energetic relationship toward it. This entire aspect is one of those parts of a personality that I became quite infatuated with while developing my emotional/ feeling body, so this is relevant, absolutely relevant to walk.

 

So, I’ll continue with going sharing part of the personal story and writing out Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Realizations about such ‘fascinations’ as mere treats for the mind, which certainly must be stopped so that I expose the entire thing for what it is: just another way to entertain ourselves and pay for it while becoming ‘hooked on drugs’ which is virtually getting ‘hooked on Energy’ wherein the Mind is the only one that benefits.

 

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204. Opposing the System: Elitist Act of Irresponsibility

Revolutions and Dissidence as so-called Acts of Goodness while protected by money to keep fueling the same system that’s being opposed.

I was taught to fear the bad/ negative/ evil within both the context of morals as in ‘doing good things’ to be a ‘good person/ good girl’ and also within the aspect of fearing ‘dark entities’/ demons at home. I know this doesn’t sound something ‘usual’ but I was brought up more within a belief in the afterlife and a ‘white light brotherhood’ than anything Christian/ Catholic like churches and the bible etc., masses on Sundays or anything like that. This was all based on a bad experience my mother had when she was in her nun school and found a priest having sexual intercourse with a nun. The rest is history – I got to know of that story in a watered down version as a child, being old enough to realize the scam that the church was. Being religious in this country as in any other is a matter of ‘belonging’ and so I also had my phase of wanting to be ‘good’ and ‘fit in’ with the rest of the people, mostly because of the school I went to, which was a Jesuit one – great education, bad idea trying to play good and benevolent when attending the masses, in the end it just turned into a spiteful game I played toward all things catholic-church-the pope etc. and creating an entire personality about it that I have walked through in the past as well.

I would question a lot why the hell on Earth was the Vatican so filthy rich having gold all over while priests were supposed to have some ‘poverty vow’ or something – as well as a ‘chastity’  and many other flaws that I felt just perverted by even seeking to get a second hand communion paper because I believed that I had to have such paper in order to be able to feel good about having some form of sacrament other than baptism. And this became just another ‘stand point’ for me to simply begin pursuing being ‘good’ at my own terms. I liked the idea of god not being bound to a stone and rock temple/ houses like churches, it really seemed quite bogus to me to believe anything the church said for that matter like the Adam and Eve story which was nothing else but a similar story to white snow and the seven dwarfs to me for that matter, I just ‘tagged along’ to not question it too much – not to say that I once did try and learn ‘Catholicism’ in those lessons given to children my age (around 9) within my attempt to be a ‘good girl’ and dropped out after the first class, lol.  I also did it because of my friend’s family being very devoted and so, I didn’t want to be a ‘heretic’ as I was usually called as well at home sometimes, which was fine. I mean, I grew up in a house where you could not spot one single cross on the walls or on people as in ‘necklaces’ or earrings etc. as it was plain ludicrous to see a gory Jesus-look alike dummy figurine nailed to a wooden cross as a sign of any benevolence, I was in fact mostly haunted by any images I would encounter like that in people’s homes – lol even holograms – you know those images that change when you move from side to side – of Jesus shedding blood on the cross, bizarre kitsch shit to say the least, which is probably what religion has become, nothing but a merchandising fan base wherein having a button that says you’re the member of a club makes you feel in any way ‘special.’ To me seeing crosses in people’s houses was something similar to what for a Christian would be like to see a satanic symbol, not to mention that my white/light community made me stop wearing one of those David star symbols because it was apparently ‘not good’ lol– but that’s just how I grew up.

I seriously never got the point of him dying for our sins and I only now get the whole picture thanks to the Crucifixion of Jesus interviews that, I must admit, I began listening to with my left overs of ‘skepticism’ toward the whole Jesus story, only now realizing to what extent I was also wearing the ‘atheist coat’ for that matter, to abdicate any form of responsibility toward this institutionalized existence of good/ evil.

 

And so, the context I grew up with was obviously being overtly open about my criticism toward religious ‘authorities’ within my standard of ‘I am a good person because I ‘’unmask’ the lies and the false preachers of god.’ However, I was following a belief as well, about there being these light beings that were here to help me and my loved ones to ‘make it through’ in our lives, and ‘give light’ to the entities at home that would ‘lurk around’ from time to time. Lol, we were absolutely oblivious back then how the Earth was all Demon-based.

So that’s how I was so righteous boasting against the church, because I had my ‘true faith’ and ‘verified’ by these seemingly ‘heaven sent’ solutions to our lives in times of distress – I mean, I’m talking about stuff like my sister losing a watch – an ‘expensive gift’ in her 15th birthday – and these mediums/ light beings whatever suddenly making it appear underneath the couch  – and so there were all of these things that were always consulted with them in order to ensure that we remained with our ‘safety’ at home, that we were always ‘supported’ by these seemingly invisible beings that would care for us enough to always ‘be there.’ However, how it all started crumbling down when bad stuff happened, and we were left questioning: well, where the hell is our security? why did that happen? we are good people!’

 

See the trivial aspects of all of this? the narrow-viewed of what my reality consisted of? Only ensuring that WE as my family remain safe/ secured and using any form of god/ heavenly support as a way to also feel safe/ secured which meant what? Everything was done out of FEAR. The same with how I would feel so ‘righteous’ to boast about the ‘falseness of catholic church’ which was only possible if I had my so-called ‘security’ in place from what I believe was the ‘true source of power’ / true god in this world as these light beings and this channel-based congregation that I would not even attend to on a regular basis, but twice or three times a year only. However we would only blatantly use them whenever we were in trouble. This is how I grew up with lots of fear as well, because I was taught how one could ‘pick up’ other beings’ ‘bad energies’ and become them, which is the absolute easy way to project any form of Self-Responsibility for what WE Experience within ourselves in our minds.I was also taught that I had to ‘protect me from envious people’ and that’s also another source of anxiety, constantly checking up people around me and fearing – more like backchatting about them apparently being against me and at some point it was as if ‘everyone against me’ and the delusion grew quite big as a constant point of conflict, which I later on knew it is mostly something that we all have as human beings that exist as the condition of survival in this world, which is obviously stemming from how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to live in a world configured to Only support some, and wherein being ‘out in the world’ would feel like being in a dog-race that I simply had to ensure I would always win –for what? Safety, happiness, success, fulfillment- as I have explained in the previous blogs. 

 

And so, in my righteousness, I only became part of the ‘opposition’ like the same type of disposition that people that call themselves ‘Spiritual’ boast out about Religions – mostly Christianity/ Catholicism –  so in that, I was already way ‘prepared’ to become a spearhead of any form of spiritual light and lovish movement wherein as I’ve explained various other times here in my blog, I wanted to end up creating my own religion, lol. Which is how I investigated quite a lot and the points that I would always end up seeing in common were yes, oneness, equality, the universe, chemical marriage, life – but all seen from this super fluffy furry perspective that I could get a positive kick out of, never really placing 1+1 together to in fact SEE and get to understand This World System, but only as another personality later on in my life of being the ‘informed citizen’/ member of the world, which was mostly an intellectual aspect linked to spirituality and making a concoction of these two with which I would feel quite proud of, having a mouth full of opinions without even daring to look at my own reality, as an individual and my participation within the delusional system that I was so happy criticizing and judging all the time, and I mean this: All the time. Quite the way that many of our current detractors and main critiques at Desteni spend their days as well, finding flaws outside of themselves due to the blatant resistance that is not being considered within common sense even: what you resist, persists and so, eventually the game of seeking ‘the bad guys’ outside of oneself becomes a rather sleazy way to abdicate Self Responsibility. I am glad I’ve stood up from this and realized that there is no point in opposing the system/ others, but rather Understanding the system, educating ourselves to see Why Religions exist, How it is that we would have actually been long-gone if a form of apparent ‘control’ was not existent such as the religious authority/ god beliefs that at least were able to create a bit of a ‘stop’ to our inherent human nature.

I can’t believe how much I’ve learned in the past months and all of this is thanks to letting go of anything I ever believed to be real, of course, and rather listen to the explanations as all the interviews published at Eqafe.

And to all of this: what did I Fear all this time? LOTS. Did I Ever even considered facing my fears? No way, ‘why would anyone want to do such a thing??’ – So, this was part of the aspect of how one tries to do good/ be the one that ‘unmask the false gods’ while only really wishing to benefit me, me and only me within it all, never really placing an eye onto ‘them’ and realizing I am ‘them’ as well – hell no, that would have stopped my battle against them, which is what our mind thrives one: friction and conflict – And so this is how I lived within myself and toward my world and reality,  until I encountered Desteni.

 

Continuation of the Elite Character

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my ‘goodness’ based on acts that were mostly viewed as ‘supportive’ within society, such as helping others, cultivating one’s own self-image to succeed In this world wherein I learned I could later on just ‘give a helping hand’ to those in need, instead of actually having investigated why were people with money mostly considered as ‘good people’ and people that were poor were treated like criminals, wherein I then feared everything that I could have no control of, such as seeing poverty on the streets or people going crazy due to not having any form of support and instead of allowing me to understand how they had become such beings that I would react in fear to, I simply neglected them and considered that I simply had to continue ‘my path’ and worry about my own fulfillment and not feel ‘bad’ about others – wherein within this idea of me not having to ‘feel bad’ about others, I accepted it as it being ok that I do not give ‘much thought’ about poverty/ crime/ corruption in this country because I would simply go into anger instead of understanding- which is how I simply decided to ‘stick to the positive’ in order to no ‘affect me’ in my personal life by knowing how things actually worked.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my goodness as in placing myself within a righteous position of being able to boast and criticize ‘the church’ mostly as a corrupt institution, generating even hatred emotions toward the organization and the authorities in it, without ever realizing that I was only judging them for what I had been taught they did as ‘mean people/ bad intentioned people’ while I never even questioned why it is that it wasn’t ‘bad’ or ‘mean’ to only seek for my own protection and well being  – as well as that of my family – creating an idea of myself as in doing some form of ‘justice’ in the world by ‘exposing the truths,’ without realizing that doing such form of activism as an opposition to religious authorities would mean nothing as I was absolutely unaware and ignorant of how the world system worked, and thus, created actually a relationship toward all things religious as a form of love and hate wherein I sought to ‘do good’ but in my own terms, which became then still seeking some form of power and grandeur outside of myself in the form of a religious belief that I could feel satisfied about – in this belief, never considering how I could for example, implement a system, a way for us all to stop living in fear and stop seeking to secured and having any form of ‘divine privileges’ but instead focus on solutions that could provide a dignified living for all, which reveals to what extent I was only busy seeking a self-enlightened interest, becoming some form of ‘liberator of society’ based on opposition, criticism, bashing toward the so called ‘evil’ as the church and other institutions, such as the government- never really seeing the ‘big picture’ of it all and how my opposition was also part of the necessary ‘balancing acts’ within the system to make it seem as if there was any real actual way of being able to ‘overcome it’ by force/ by opposition/ by revolutions – which has never been successful and should had already been proven as a useless way of trying to ‘make a change’ in this world, however it is still being worn as a nice ‘activist suit’ by many, that are living in protected ways by money/ house/ education, playing the ‘revolutionary intellectuals’ that in no way lead to a solution that is applicable and tangible toward this world. In this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to identify myself with ‘like minded people’ that would perceive ourselves to actually ‘care’ about the world/ society by opposing, dissecting, criticizing and even ridiculing people in positions of power and authority – specifically people in government, media and popes – wherein I would get a positive kick out of being able to ‘bash them’ because of still having my ‘true god’ as a belief within me, which makes you ponder how we can only ‘boast’ and ‘bash’ and ‘oppose’ something or someone if there is a point of security one is holding on to – whether a belief, money or a relationship – it is all based on survival.

 

And so within this I realize to what extent this entire personality of being like the benevolent ‘libertarian’ was based on having a position to always be supported with, which is actually stemming from the money that exists as the fuel to this entire system based on slavery – which means I could in no way claim innocence/ being a good person by opposing the so called evil – and also realizing how it was fueled by a desire to be and become this ‘important person’ in society that would ‘free people’ within the starting point of opposing others/ bringing down certain powers in society, which indicates the level of ignorance really, lack of understanding how reality works which is how and why he Desteni material is the most important process of human education that All human beings should be exposed to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within the security and comfort of ‘having what I need to live,’ create a point of conflict in my reality such as wanting to ‘unmask the false preachers of god’ as the catholic church mainly wherein I wanted to ‘do good’ based on implementing my own idea of what ‘the real god/goodness’ was all about, which was yet another belief that I simply had accepted as a ‘purest form’ of the divine – being spiritual – and within this righteousness generate a relationship of hatred toward religious institutions wherein I believed that I had to be the one that would ‘speak the truth,’ without realizing how I only felt ‘strong enough’ to speak up because I would still have my ‘basic security’ as family/home/ money which enabled me to not worry to oppose the system, being quite ignorant as to how everything that I was judging is Also myself and is an aspect of myself as humanity that I am one and equally responsible for.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that creating a form of vengeance toward the system would make me a ‘good person’ like a hero that at the end of the day creates this fantastic heroic act of any concept of ‘doing good’ while missing out all the forces that are actually creating such ‘evil’ in this world, which is in fact beginning with ourselves and our own thinking processes and emotions/ feelings wherein we have been absolutely obvious about as human beings, only focusing on solutions ‘out there’ and never looking within ourselves, which is how the moment that we become aware of how our mind works, we immediately – if self honest enough – stop criticizing and judging and separating ourselves from everything and everyone in this world through a relationship of oppositions, as we understand how such point of ‘opposition’ was created, for what purpose, what was the intended reaction from human beings toward such point of ‘control’ and how I tis possible for us to stand up from it Without creating further opposition/ wars/ conflict of any form of vengeance or claiming ‘injustice’ because, we have to blatantly self honest with ourselves first, to clarify our starting point of any single time/ moment wherein within this self-righteous benevolent act of ‘doing good by bringing  the bad guys to justice’  we neglected our own participation in the very processes that fuel and lead to the entire world system as I tis, as the most vilest human creation that we have abdicated our responsibility from, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not see how I was in fact fearful about that which I opposed and that my act of ‘opposing’ the system/ the church/ institutions and constantly finding flaws in it, only lead me to a position of feeling disempowered-  and I repeat FEELING disempowered because I in fact was still being supported in order to remain within a physical security such as having money to eat, education which I used as a platform to ensue this ‘opposition’ without any point really, but making myself seem ‘righteous’ and ‘common sensed’ without being self honest about my reality, which implied that I could only take this vantage position of ‘revolting’ by denying the very system I was feeding myself from. Thus, missing out the entire ‘point’ of any form of change in this world and in fact, using this ‘righteous citizen/ person that cares’ character as a way to further neglect Looking within myself, my true desires to actually be in a position wherein I could live well and continue opposing the system as that which I learned from elitist academics, that I wanted to form a part of: intellectualizing revolutions, theorizing society in order to propose further ‘solutions’ only on ink and paper-  while earning good wages with it through writing or teaching at school. Thus I see and realize how my initial desires of ‘doing good’ were obviously not unconditional, but well planned and veered toward an inevitable position of power and even authority in the ‘intellectual world’ while remaining protected with money/ the necessary to live ‘well’ or more than well if possible.

 

I realize that self interest is always behind any form of ‘doing good’ or ‘justice’ and that we have never in fact been absolutely devoid of self interest to move ourselves to propitiate a change in this world, which is why change has never really existed, and no revolution has even been REAL for that matter. Thus, time to unmask the revolutionary, time to take Self Responsibility first, to see who we are as our own mind, How did we create this opposition toward the system and how it is in our hands that we are able to create an actual solution by living it, becoming it, working as a group world wide and stands as the actual point of Self-Responsibility in Self-Honesty that promotes an Equality system such as the Equal Money System wherein we all learn to be Self Responsible and within that, get equal support within the realization that opposition creates division, creates conflict and ensues wars. Such diatribes must stop – and so we begin with ourselves.

I commit myself to explain and educate myself and others about how within an attempt to ‘oppose the system’ and ‘bring down the bad government’ we are taking the righteous superior position of apparently being ‘innocent’ about the current conditions in this world, which is not acceptable, since there is no point in blaming but understanding the problems and instead of launching wars against each other to obtain the point of power, we can work together to establish solutions which would be in fact using time to our benefit as humanity, considering all living beings – and stopping all forms of separation, division, conflict within any false sense of righteousness and justice to the benefit of ‘some only’ – this is standing for ALL in Equality.

Desteni

Desteni Forum 

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Desteni Lite Process

Equal Money System

This will continue..

Bossing

 

Blogs:

Have you Seen my Happiness Anywhere? (Part 1): DAY 204

Day 204: After Death Communication – Part 52

 

 

Interviews:

Demons in the Afterlife – Part 1

The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 16

The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 17


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