Category Archives: leadership

474. The Intensity of Wanting To Change Others

 

Or how to slow myself down when attempting to make others see what I see for their own process of self-change

Continuing from 472. Humbleness in Process

 

I’ve noticed another situation wherein I have to consider and apply humbleness in process. This is about an experience that comes with a surge of energy, an impetus stemming from a desire to open someone’s eyes about a situation that I can see is compromising, is diminishing, is limiting to oneself-  in a nutshell, is of self-dishonesty and I may see the reasons, the beliefs involved, the energetic addictions that go along with it that another may be participating in and justifying it in various ways that even if they might sound ‘reasonable’, they always still contain a sort of self-sabotage that pops out very clearly when it comes to getting to the bottom of a situation in self-honesty.

I have seen how I tend to create a certain impetus in myself, a sort of ‘push’ that almost wants to throw a bucket of cold water upon another and say ‘Wake up! Can’t you see what you are doing to yourself!’ and this has happened multiple times in multiple ways to multiple kinds of people in my life, from the ones that I get to glimpse while walking on the street or in a public place, to the people that I live and interact with on a daily basis. So, here I have to focus entirely on myself, my own ‘impetus’ and desire for another to ‘see themselves’ the way I see things, because this is coming in fact from an imposition of a limitation wherein it’s like someone giving you the answers to what is ‘going on with you’ which prevents you from understanding yourself and doing the self-work required to get to those realizations for yourself. In essence I would be dishonoring someone’s integrity and individuality If I stand as that ‘someone’ that can ‘show the way’ and even that is also a bit too conceited of me because I’ve realized I absolutely don’t have an ‘answer’ to everything either, nor have I had the life experiences that others have had, therefore, we can only ever reference each other but each one of us ultimately has to find their own way so to speak.

So, what is this ‘impetus’ showing me about myself? First of all, that no matter how much of my time I also dedicate to assisting and supporting others, I have to make sure I don’t patronize or push others to ‘see’ things the same way I am seeing them, because then that would in fact imply that I am wanting to ‘change them’ and push them into a point of realization that I also cannot enforce upon anyone in reality, but stick to moderating myself whenever this impetus and impulse comes from within and towards others in relation to ‘waking someone up!’ or wanting them to ‘snap out of something’ that in fact dwindles their ability to develop a seeing, develop a self-understanding through self-investigation.

Here then, first of all, I have to remind myself that no matter how much I can see through the situation another is in, the choice is theirs and only theirs to walk through with the tools and support they can give to themselves and decide to see beyond the veil by their own will and decision to do so. I have to remind myself I would become ‘their cane’ to walk through a realization and could become something/someone they depend on to keep walking through a point that is and will always be entirely up to themselves to take responsibility for.

I can only ever be a point of reference for the steps of self-support that another is deciding to implement in their own lives, I can only ever share my own personal path and experience but I cannot have this intensity in my words attempting to tell them ‘wake up!’ with an energy that indicates a desperation in me – or seeing a potential as well – but in either way this reaction/energetic experience shows me I am not being patient enough in realizing each one’s path and process of self-awareness, which is a unique process where it will depend on each person to decide how they walk their lives/process and that I have to be ok with being patient in walking with another in their own time/space and pace based on their own self-given steps towards their self-creation and self-awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an energy surge within myself that comes up whenever I am talking to someone, seeing someone that is doing something that could be bettered, corrected, realized because even if I may see a way through in that problem, hurdle or obstacle, in an attempt to ‘wake them up’ I can feel that I become simply much more intense in my voice tonality as in speaking louder, faster and widening my eyes, tightening my body – or if being typing I start typing super-fast and I even become warmer and more intense in the way that I want to communicate towards another, without realizing that such intensity comes from a need in me to ‘wake another up’, to essentially ‘change who they are’ in that moment so that they can then ‘see the same I see’ or ‘understand the way through,’ which is in fact coming from a desperation within me that is not considering the other person in who they are as individuals, with their own process, their own mind, their particular unique set of patterns, life experiences, memories… the list is endless when it comes to seeing a single individual human being in their mind and the place they are at in their life.

Therefore whenever I come at someone with this intensity and this push through my voice, through my words, through the intensity of the words that I use, I have to realize for myself that all of it is coming from a reaction within me that is at the same time not only feeling like ‘their lives are upon me’ – but also it is a part of me that is not seeing another for who they are or where they are in their lives and personal process, which means, I am in fact not being humble and considerate towards another, but I then believe that others can ‘get it’ the same way I do and in doing so, believing that the other person can see what I see, has lived what I’ve lived, has realized what I’ve realized in an exact way as myself, which is impossible to do, because we are two different beings and I cannot compare myself to another.

Whenever I see myself getting into this ‘intensity’ in communication, in sharing something, I have to make sure that I can fine tune the ways in which I can share myself, be there for another as a point of support without that energy-rush in me and an energy push towards them in an attempt to ‘shake up’ another person, because there I am invading their self-responsibility, their self-direction and their self-awareness development process at the same time, so

I commit myself to learn and practice being more patient in moments when I see a person is in a crux of a process of self-change, and where I can see potentials and ways in which they could walk a particular process towards a correction, an integration of certain words and principles –I have to let go of wanting to ‘push’ a particular way of seeing things, a particular understanding and have to make sure that I am not imposing myself, not imposing what I see unto another but ensure I am only there as an equal that can share a living example and personal experiences with them – as a point of support, a crutch for another’s personal walk for a moment, however ultimately realizing that I cannot become their own feet, their own mind and their own will to move or do something in particular. This would be me imposing myself onto another and therefore, I have to allow myself to breathe and give space and time for another to decide how far, how fast or how slow, how deep or how shallow they decide to explore or face a particular point in their lives, because such ways to live and face our lives depend entirely on ourselves and no one else can really do it for us, such as I have seen and tested for myself.

Therefore, I commit myself to focus on precisely changing this aspect of myself that wants to ‘change another’ or ‘show the way’ to someone else through a surge of words that are coming from a state of reacting in impatience or a ‘desire to wake another up’ which at the same time exists as a fear of ‘the other one not seeing through in this point they’re facing’ and somehow blaming it on me at the same time because of perceiving that if they don’t see it through, then it would mean I am ‘not being there for them to walk it through’ – but here

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive – no matter how slightly – that another’s life and process depends very much on me and my input and support, which in fact is not so, I can only ever share my own experiences, my own ways of self-support, assist in considering self-honesty in certain situations in my life that I can then share as first hand experience, but I cannot ever make decisions for another, I cannot ever push another to do or think or act in a particular manner and I have to allow independence in another to also figure it out for themselves.

It’s interesting because this is something that I have very much a tendency to do, sometimes act like a mother – in the current most-prevalent design of a mother nowadays – towards people that can scold and get flustered about seeing situations and potential consequences and kind of ‘knowing how the story will end’ and attempt to control and warn and inject a form of fear in an attempt to wake someone up, but, this has been proven to be not a supportive manner most of the times. Sometimes I have to assess the situation and the extent in which something/someone is requiring a particular point of support, but in this I have to now at the same time focus on myself in moderating the way that I bring these points across.

How to do that? I realize it is a matter of letting to this ‘desire to wake someone up’ or to ‘have them see something’ that I am seeing with clarity and acknowledging their process, their self-awareness, their point in their lives and the situation they are in as something that they have created for themselves – which means we always are responsible to ourselves – and so either make it or break it as they say and understanding that my role in this is only assisting in suggesting ways to look at a situation, asking questions that can assist another to consider self-honesty, but I can never change someone with this intensity and impetus coming in subtle forms of anger or plain despair as well. That won’t work at all.

I have to honor myself and my self-honesty first of all, which means I can then honor and respect another’s process of self-honesty as well. As my partner just reminded me, one has to be self-honest in order to assist another to develop such self-honesty as well and my self-honesty here is stopping this surge, impetus and intensity within me that is trying to force change upon another, which is something that cannot ever be done, as each person can only ever change themselves by their own volition and decision to do so.

I can stand as an example of what it is to regard another’s life and process in their unique location, positioning, rather focusing in seeing ‘where they are at’ in their awareness, how they are approaching a situation, asking questions that can bring up practical solutions and considerations – but in moments where I see that they are not seeing through a particular veil of emotion, reactions, memories, experiences, I have to take a moment to Breathe and sloooow myself down completely and walk with them in the point they are at.

Here within myself I have to make sure that I am comfortable in my own body which means I have to step down from ‘prescribing my own discourse’ towards another which is coming from focusing only in my head and so, give myself time to feel my body which in this stage of facing a resistance in another to change, to see something, I am usually already building up a tension, a strain even at times within my physical body where I can notice my eyes are getting wider, my voice tonality gets louder, I can get out of breath, I can start speaking faster and faster with no space to leave the other to interact back or even ‘follow through with my train of thought’ because it is all completely driven through and as energy – same with typing, typing superfast and not allowing much space for another to go interacting with what I go saying either. I have to slow down and be patient, not be anxious about it.

I have to breathe and allow myself to listen, to hear, to read another’s expression and words, to consider them, to see what they are experiencing, how they are looking at a situation, where are they in their particular life-situation and so, I have to develop that humbleness and consideration in those moments wherein I can be in a position to assist another in a particular time or situation in their lives where I have to place myself in their shoes, to identify within myself where and how I have been in a similar situation or source from other situations that I have been that can be similar in nature, and so bring forth/share my own experience to share how I got to a point of self-honesty in walking through those times or situations, or how I am still assisting myself through a similar situation – so as to precisely stand as an example, sharing a potential way that another can consider for themselves. This I have to make sure I am sharing without the hidden agenda and intent of wanting to save, ‘wake another up’ or ‘having them see what I SEE they are still accepting and allowing in themselves’ because this is still coming up from a personal desire, and not from my own self-honesty.

Here self-honesty for me is reminding myself and understanding that I cannot ever save another, I cannot ever change another, I cannot ever impose ‘what to do or not to do’ unto another – I have to honor, respect and allow independence in another’s process of self-realization on whichever situation or part of themselves they are facing in their own lives, and here then My point of focus then becomes my own moderation, alignment and correction of my expression towards another.

This means, focusing more on making questions that can assist another to see, to practice living calm and stability as I am placing out these questions and considerations – to not create an expectation or a ‘threatening potential outcome’ as a way to push them to decide to act or not act upon something in order to create a particular outcome that I am considering is ‘better,’ which in fact comes from a deep-desire of doing ‘the right thing’ which is based on morality and a limited way of perceiving someone’s life process, when in fact I’ve seen for myself how if I had stood for and towards myself as I stand towards others in an attempt to ‘save them from doing the wrong things,’ I would have walked away from this bossy-me and still would have proceeded to do the things that yes, caused consequences in my life but at the same time are now learning experiences that I got to live through and work through for myself.

Therefore, I have to stand in equality with another, not as a ‘corrector’ but as an equal that stands in consideration of assisting another, walking by their side in their pace, in their considerations, in their ways of approaching things and expanding myself to consider their ways of walking their lives, the way in which they decide to face their life situations – with its faults and flaws- to embrace them the same way that I’ve learned to do so in my own life, to not judge it, to not see it as wrong, to not want them to ‘become’ or ‘reach’ a particular outcome in their lives because that is always up to each person in their lives to do so.

Here then I focus on myself, continuing to learn and apply flexibility in these moments when this ‘upsurge’ of intensity in my expression comes up, so that I can then flag-point this moment and understand I am stepping into the ‘intense-me’ and ‘lower the volume’ so to speak in how I express myself, assert my starting point in talking/assisting another, to level it down to a point of acknowledging and honoring each one’s life and process of self-responsibility, learning from their walks in life and being gentle in how I approach others because I know for a fact based on how I was raised that being reached out to through energy in the forms of control, imposition, scolding and threats don’t work at all.

Best ways I’ve been implementing in my partnership relationship is in fact based on slowing down and considering another, not pushing too much, yet making questions that can assist in seeing things differently and not expecting another to ‘change’ based on how I have done so in my life and follow that way ‘to the T’ –  but instead through sharing my own personal experiences in walking similar patterns and ‘where I am at’ in relation to it, how I go working on them. So I find it interesting that I have managed to get better at this ‘patronizing’ pattern in me in my relationship, because I have created a direct process of feedback with my partner in relation to this, speaking about it and identifying in real time how this ‘intensity’ unfolds within me – but, it seems that I haven’t extended this to other people that don’t always point it back at myself – like family members (except for my mother) and people I directly assist in their personal process of self-support or in regular interactions ‘on the streets’, but even on that one I’ve made it a very present point for me to stop judging people so much out there and instead focus on my own stopping of judging and reacting. That’s my point! 

Therefore, here I make myself aware of changing the way that I approach another within this context of intensity/energy charge in which I attempt to have another see the way I see things, or realize something or open up or ‘see the dishonesty’ for what it is, because, I will eventually become only a control-freak and a prey to my own imposition if I continue doing this with others in my life.  I have to make space as in breathing, letting go of my desired outcome/point of control and so focus on settling myself physically to slow down, to not feed expectations or ideas of ‘what another should be able to see or consider’ and rather keep walking at their side, at their pace, not on top, not in front but walking-with another in what is and will always be a process of self-support, because it can only ever be truly applied by each one/ourselves.

I can stand as an equal in supporting another to see themselves, but I have to let go whenever I can see and understand that there are more points to unfold in order to see/understand a point of self-creation, sometimes consequences have to unfold to realize what we are actually doing or participating in ourselves. And I have to accept that is each one’s decision as well, instead of attempting to ‘save’ others from going down misery lane or ‘making mistakes’ because in the end, it’s not about doing good and not bad in this process, it’s about transcending that morality and rather see for ourselves who we are in each situation, what can we learn from each situation about ourselves. I can only assist with observing such situations from an equal stand-point in where each person sees it for themselves, and how they are approaching it and then suggest ways to look at it, to consider certain aspects, to ask in a way for them to reflect about themselves and their choices and decisions, that’s about it.

I realize I don’t require at all an energy surge within me to stand as this point of support for another, I don’t require to bee ‘too intense’ in sharing something because the intensity, the control and imposition with which it comes through won’t ever have a supportive effect on another – the actual supportive words are those that contain zero-reactions, zero self-interest, zero-fears, zero-expectations, zero-control-freakism, zero-judgment and zero-neglect at the same time because it is a fine balance between caring for another while also allowing them to walk on their own entirely, because I would definitely want everyone else to also stand on their own two feet and not depend on me or anyone else to be able to live – it is about a process of cross-referencing one’s own life and understanding of oneself – that is always healthy when it comes to learning to see ourselves, to understanding our own minds, to have another ‘pair of eyes’ to see through us in humbleness and consideration.

So to me this is yet a very specific gift in my process and positioning within this Desteni Process where I am getting to walk as well some of my most ingrained patterns that actually come up in situations where I am in a position and role of assistance and support towards others, which is therefore a very relevant point for me to be in in order to learn and fine tune my understanding, comprehension, consideration towards others, to allow them to see for themselves and cross-reference whatever comes up. This is then being an assistance in a process that is always of self-support since no one else can do it for us, we always have ourselves and only ourselves as our responsibility, which includes my ways of interacting and expressing towards others that are also my responsibility.

I’ll keep an eye testing these points in real time whenever this surge comes up in me. This is something that expands and extends to how I relate to anything and anyone in my life and reality, I’d very much like our relationships to be of interdependence and independence where we can count on each other yet at the same time realizing the fundamentals of self-responsibility at all times, that’s the marvel of walking as equals yet as individuals.

Thanks for reading

 

Mirror- my error

 

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431. Recognizing the Potential in Ourselves

 

One of the points that came up for me today was the ability to recognize the potential in others and within this, be able to use that awareness of what we see another is able to be and become. I consider this is one of the things that have assisted me in being able to see past certain habits, traits, personalities, ego-feuds in order to get to ‘seek out’ and ‘unearth’ the actual potential in myself and others – and in a way, get to see the real being that is somewhere there in the background, behind the usual presentations that we get to know ourselves with: our habits, traits, emotional fits, quirks, manners, traumas, judgments etc. In essence it means being able to see a person beyond what they could have becomes as their mental design, their ‘disguise’ yet have a willingness to change, to assist themselves to become essentially a better person, to give the most of themselves for their benefit and that of others.  This is the potential of change that exists in every single one of us.

In this process of learning how to actually live and become an individual that stands with living principles, sometimes we hold ourselves captives to our past and believe that we cannot change, that we will always remain the same, that we cannot get past the usual problems – but if we actually dare to apply this recognition process, to really step back and look at who we were in the past, and what kind of decisions  we’ve made to actually assist ourselves, we will start giving ourselves a bit more of a recognition of what we’ve done, the path we’ve walked thus far and what is yet to come,  yet to be aligned and fine tuned  to learn from our everyday experiences and interactions. This is what I see this process in itself is, to learn how to live and push a bit further every time to continue discovering our own potential, to learn from the past mistakes to not repeat them and stick to creating and living that which we can in fact be and become with dedication, consistency and a deliberate decision to step out of the old patterns and become a person that we can live with for the rest of our existence.

The ability to recognize this potential in others comes when one has been able to identify such potential within oneself first, when one has seen that underneath the mind clutter of personalities, ego traits and the rest of the ‘programs,’ one is able to see one’s real self, ready to be placed into use to strengthen oneself, to look past any judgments, to be accountable, to learn self respect, to learn how to cooperate with others, to be humble, to learn from mistakes, to be ok with failure and learning to stand up again, to learn how to build supportive relationship, to learn what it means to go past one’s fears and limitations – all of these points are there for us to live if we make the decision to not feed the old patterns, the usual egotistical traits that feel ‘safe’ because it’s all we’ve ever known, but instead be willing to step into the actual process of creating oneself as something that one probably could have never conceived one could be or become, and then recognize that the fears and limitations were nothing  but a masquerade that we thought we were proudly wearing as ‘who we are.’

Once that one starts seeing glimpses of one’s potential, it is very vital to remind ourselves of and take note of the processes we’ve walked to actually ‘dig out’ this potential and to keep track of the changes in oneself, so that there is always a point of reference we can go back to whenever we get to feel that ‘we were born living our potentials’ when in fact, unfortunately it is not at all how our lives as human beings work at the moment. It is a process and forgetting it usually leads to the perception that either we haven’t changed or this is how we’ve always been, or missing out the ability to relate to others that are in their initial processes of change. As a point of reference, reading past journals and blog entries is assisting to see how I could have not been able to remember certain things I used to think about or experience, that I see I would definitely not be saying/thinking in the same manner now as I did before.

It’s also crucial to consider that when reaching any point of potential or finding a clear drive and motivation to do things, this should always be measured according to its starting point – asking questions is usually a great way to get to know oneself and one’s real ‘drive’ in it: is it to glorify myself? Is it to prove others wrong? Is it to make up for my past mistakes? Is it to feel better about myself? Is it because I want to be accepted by others? Is it because I want to feel like what it is like to be ‘the best’ or be ‘at the top’? Is it because I want the money and the good life? Is it because it will make me find a great partner? Is it because I want to stop feeling like a loser? Is it because I want to trump others that have done me wrong? Is it because I want to show that I can better than everyone else…? And the beat goes on…

If there’s something I suggest one always takes into consideration is humbleness when achieving certain life goals or starting to live certain potentials. If anything, any point of empowerment should not be defined as such if it only benefits the same ego/idea of ourselves that merely exists in comparison/in contrast to others.

To me it is clear that any advantage position in any point or aspect in our lives, should stand as a point of extra responsibility to consider others that are not yet ‘there’ in living their full potential yet, to be humble in considering each one’s living process, their past, their traits and skills, their weaknesses yet to be turned into strengths  – in essence, to always have a firm idea that one cannot be in any position of leadership if there is no actual empathy, humbleness, consideration toward others that have yet to be assisted to start digging out their potential.

Also, not giving up on others is essential, not judging them, not holding them captive within their ‘usual flaws’ but to always rather assist others  – and of course ourselves – to remind us of what we have actually managed to create, to build within ourselves, what we have managed to change, what we have managed to overcome and so stands as prove that ‘change is possible.’ This might sound like something ‘easy’ to do, but it’s not always something that can be readily done if there isn’t a personal process of an individual deciding to create an actual change for the better in their lives.

Seeing a potential begins with oneself, then we extend it toward others and from there as one goes living this potential, it is about remaining grounded, assertive, reminding oneself of the path walked, the points yet to be aligned, the fails and mistakes we will still make to learn from them and the potentials yet to develop. This is another way I’d say we can practically live the word ‘recognition’ in a supportive manner, for oneself and for others, who are an extension of ourselves anyways.

 

 

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426. Giving up vs. Letting Go

  

There was an interesting interview I listened about being able to let go of someone that is not willing to support themselves. Throughout my past, I have had a pattern of wanting to save people which then throughout this process became a necessity to want to show others their potential, to focus on the ‘good points’ they have and so how they could be used as a foundation for them to stand up for themselves. I can see myself in every person that considers they are not good enough to do something, because that was my life before. 

However, I have also realized there must be a line drawn when one stands as another cane to stand up at all times, or when someone does not even have the clear intention to stand up. then it becomes draining, then it becomes like having to take care of a chronically depressed person that has no decision to support themselves to transcend their self created experience, it becomes a way to accept abuse in one’s life as well;  It in fact becomes detrimental to another if one persists in supporting another while it is clear that after all suggestions made, all ideas for solutions, sharing of one’s own experience and many other resources for self-support and no clear indication of self-support is given, it becomes a futile process, a waste of time and just supporting another’s self-irresponsibility by treating another as if they had no way to actually assist themselves, which is a lie when we are talking about something that is entirely self-created like a constant depression or any other mind-related experience. 

I have a tendency to want others to acknowledge their self value by pointing out what I see is supportive/valuable about themselves, which is then a process of uplifting another through opinions, through my perception which in the end will enslave another to ‘my support’ because they won’t pick themselves up if I am not there. I’ve defined this as the ‘nurse’ construct, taking care of those that have derailed themselves in their lives, even at some point surrounding myself of friends that would all present similar characteristics and it is by no coincidence, in away I would find my own acceptance through being useful/valuable to others by supporting them or rather, fully standing there as their ‘cane’ which becomes an enslaving position for both sides. 

I have criticized this stance in others, yet I hadn’t wanted to admit I have done and still do the same, and if we did this about every other person in the world, we would only add more problems into our life other than assisting those that are already willing and clearly showing their intent to assist themselves.  Many times we want to save a particular relationship with the person, which means there is a point of self interest in doing so, because we like them, because they are ‘meaningful’ or ‘special’ to us in some way, but this has to be questioned, and in self honesty one cannot take such a stance toward another as it only recreates personalities, patterns of seeing others as ‘not able to do it themselves.’ Sure I agree that many of us have required such push and support for some time, but there is also a definitive difference when a person is clearly showing their intent standing by principle of assisting and supporting themselves and ‘falling’ in the process, then one can ensure one is there to momentarily step in and assist that individual – yet when it becomes the foundation for an entire relationship, and there is no clear indication of self support, I have realized that the best point of support one can provide is to let go. 

The point I have been looking at is when does one give up on someone and when is it a letting go?  I am seeing that giving up is what I have definitely experienced with regards to dealing with others and when I am the one that goes into a reaction about another’s situation/experience, when I am the one that is considering another as ‘the problem’ which is a clear indication that there was no actual self.responsibility acknowledged in this from my own side: taking responsibility for my reactions of impatience or anger or frustration or any other emotion that would ensue after I judge another’s life/process and so decide to ‘give up’ on it.  So in walking through this giving up on someone and so ensuring that I am not the one reacting to another’s words/attitudes , one can then start seeing the reality of the situation for what it is: no longer filtered by my own ‘struggle’ toward another’s experience/life, not clouded by a filter of likeness or preference or even empathic mirroring wherein I see the other as myself and so assist ‘me’ through them, no longer holding on to a past that was shared or some ‘good times’ spent with the same person – these were all filters and obstacles to see directly, to see where the person stands within their life on a day to day basis, how they react to support/assistance/suggestions for solutions and what they do with it. 

  In this, one is no longer affected by the person using or not using the support given, one gives it unconditionally, however it does get to a point wherein if there is no indication of standing up at all, it becomes a parasitical relationship, where one becomes the constantly needed ‘cane’ for another to stand up, to get some motivation or to get glimpses of ‘what could be’ if they start doing this for themselves, if they instead become their own self support after a significant amount of time that they have seen how supportive it has been to get this momentarily from another. However if one only sees the opposite happening, meaning the person becoming more and more dependent on it, or constantly requiring that support to stand up, then we have created an addict that will need one to ‘stand up’ and one cannot be the drug, one cannot be the doctor or nurse, there is a line to be drawn in order to also assist another to see how they have been shared/given all that was possible throughout a particular timeframe, how doing more would only make another dependent on one’s support and so never really give another the opportunity to stand up for themselves. 

This is how in an attempt to ‘assist’ another, one can become the constant perceived necessary cane to walk, when the bruise or injury is already healed and they are ready to walk again, we support the insecurity or muscle atrophy if we make another believe that they ‘still need us.’ This actually causes further harm than good. So letting go is about realizing that one has done everything that was possible/feasible to assist another, which is just that, showing the way, living by principle, being the example oneself – instead of dragging someone ‘toward change’ which becomes a draining experience for both sides. 

In this I have realized I also have to let go of the ideas, expectations formed about ‘what their potential could be like’ because it becomes then a desire projected toward others, which is usually charged in a positive manner, where once that one realizes it is not coming to fruition or not ‘happening’ at all, then comes the downside, the ‘fall’ of all expectations and place the person as ‘letting us down’ when in fact, it is never about ‘them’ in fact, but about ourselves, our expectation, our dreams of how ‘well’ something could work if, IF the person actually stands up. So what happens in such disappointment, the opposite of love is created, it becomes an unpleasant situation that makes us sad, angry, frustrated or disappointed, but hey! who did this to us? no one else but ourselves. 

So letting go of this constant ‘trying’ and this ‘battle’ to attempt to make others change is a necessary step if one has to get back to a point of sanity about a situation that can become quite stressful and draining at the same time. If someone is not willing to support themselves and this pattern continues for an extended period of time, then why holding on to it? So identifying the desire to do it and the fear that accompanies this is supportive to see how there are also personal interests vested on the situation, it is not entirely altruist and that’s where one’s responsibility has to be acknowledged as well in perceiving one would ‘gain’ something by another supporting themselves or that one would lose something as well by the opposite. 

I can see how many times still our most common sensical acts would want to be held on as trophies in one’s own mind, when this is just the mind that still wants to get some ‘hot air’ by doing something or ‘achieving’ something, when it is only the ego that would want to have this for personal satisfaction or because of any other hidden agenda about this. This is not an acceptable behavior in self-support assistance, no it is not an oxymoron, it is a specific term that indicates one can be a point of reference, of assistance to another’s process of developing self-support, not about ‘becoming’ their support in itself, which is the self-enslavement process I have defined in this blog. 

Should one feel ‘bad’ because one has to let go of this? Not at all, there is nothing real to lose or win anyways, this is about rather sticking to one’s own process of self-support to continue being a living example of how to do it onself, where everything one does stands as a test of time and consistency, which not only that one person/people can take as a point of reference, but anyone else that may find themselves in a similar situation in their life as well. 

There is no better support than the one that is provided without making another dependent on it, and so the analogy of stopping being a ‘drug’ or a ‘make another feel better about themselves’ role is quite spot on to understand this pattern. We cannot inject life into another and have them suddenly see things the way we see them and change, one has to rather let the point go and so go back to oneself with the things learned in these attempts to ‘support’ still standing with a point of self-interest, whichever this may be. 

There is a spark in all of us, waiting to be awakened if it hasn’t already been so, and one can only temporarily show to another what exists within themselves as well, but one cannot become the fossil fuel to keep lighting up theirs. Letting go is realizing one’s own responsibility to stop any reaction we create about another’s life/process. 

This is not a giving up on someone as they still stand within themselves, this is a letting go of my need to make others see themselves the way I see them and rather focus on myself, while being willing to stand as such unconditional support for those that clearly show they are willing to assist and support themselves, which then is not a ‘drag’ at all as it becomes  a mutual point of referencing and support, that’s definitely what all relationships in this world should be about. 

  


425. If We Dislike Deception, We Have to Become Self-Honest

There is a phase when one becomes aware of the extent of the problems in the world and we go through the vast amount of information that is at our finger tips nowadays and really get to know the nitty-gritty details of the actual prison that we’ve created for ourselves, and the challenge that comes with this is: how not to get imbued by the perception of the ‘oh so ever powerful ones’  – that are in fact a minority in this world – being the sole problem and the ones to blame for everything that’s wrong, we perceive them as being invincible, which is precisely part of the function that they represent within the whole construct of the system in itself. Sometimes the information and getting to know ‘how deep the rabbit hole goes’ becomes a reinforcement to the belief that “there is no possible way out because ‘they’ are everywhere/ ‘they’ are so powerful and invincible.” In that, we actually psychologically become subdued to what we accept as ‘their power’ which we believe ‘is so real’ that the only thing that we apparently can resort to is blaming, complaining, judging others and believing that: there is no possible way out, so why bother? This is the mentality that we have to stop and that I’ll share here how I’ve managed to constantly work on preventing me from falling on the same old patterns.

 

Identifying one’s reactions to the problems

From my perspective and personal experience, it all begins with simple steps, such as how you engage in discussing relevant topics and ‘less known’ information that is termed as ‘conspiracy theories’ which many times are not ‘theories’ but rather the hidden/occult history out of our text books in school and universities and usually explain the actual workings of  this world system, such as who has been in fact ‘behind it all’ and the mechanisms used to galvanize it, which implies that we also had to be part of such control system by compliance. An easy response to knowing ‘who’s who in the zoo’ and in fact ‘sitting at the top of the hill’ can result in us reacting with anger which in turn leads us to ‘spew our mind out’ in blaming and finding this/that president/corporation/elite person as the culprit,  which is not necessarily something that can be supportive for others that might come through and read these comments and opinions on Facebook – or any other social media site – and be exposed to this information for the first time and be shocked at discovering that their president is waging a war in Somalia, Yemen and Pakistan killing over 2000 civilians, which means it is killing people that have most likely nothing to do with any sort of potential terrorists – yet this is all being paid by your taxes… In this case,  what would you say to ‘you’ as that person that is informing themselves about the ills of the world system for the first time, and realizing that their taxes are being used to obliterate certain nations to keep control of poppy fields and trade more drugs? Reinforcing the predictable behavior such as blaming, complaining, calling names and spurting general outrage about it is Not going to solve anything.

 

So where do we start, then?

One thing that I suggest starting with is considering self-responsibility – which is a tough point, and not many people are willing to recognize it, because it involves stopping feeling righteous about calling out the abuse and instead becoming a co-creator of the mess as well. t is about realizing that by virtue of living in this same world: We Are ALL Responsible. So instead of trying to ‘change the world out there’ which becomes indeed an ‘out of reach’ type of experience when considering ‘Oh my god, I have to change the entire world!’ we have to instead consider that this change begins with taking our own lives into our own hands, to become an example, which means: start with our own life.

I bet you also began questioning why this world is the way that it is and why are people in power only being corrupted and evil and being protected by the same laws we are supposed to abide to – is the system rigged in some way? So you as I did most likely began investigating, educating yourself about the problem, developing that interest and critical thinking skills, asking questions, and maybe even getting to know others that were also starting to look for similar answers. What I’ve realized now is that understanding the problem is one part of the solution, but then comes the necessary rule of Taking the point back to oneself and so Dare to ask the more uncomfortable questions, the kind that we’ve forgotten to ask ourselves all along such as: where was I when all of this ‘conspiracy’ took place? How have we allowed ourselves to be consumed and entertained to a point where we forgot about our responsibilities?

Instead we’ve learned to equate happiness to consumption and not consider how real happiness could be genuinely built if we could all come together and agree to integrate the principles we want to live by as a society into a new proposal for a political/economic and social structure, starting with the simplicity of how we can grant each other – for example – the basic right to live in dignity? This is what the provision of a Basic Income entails. This leads to the recognition of Self-Responsibility which implies ‘They’ and ‘Those in Power,’ the ‘Invincible’ ones or those that we perceive as ‘Untouchable’ are not going to give up their power, nor do we have to focus on ‘them’ to create any form of solution either. Instead it’s about focusing on how to empower myself and others at the same time with developing this self-awareness and an understanding of the problem, without reacting to it in the predictability of anger, frustration, rage, blame and wanting to tear the government building down – but instead with maturity and self-responsible assessments.

It is about motivating oneself to see through the a new solution-based mindset and at the same time, inciting others to consider self-responsibility and Act in the awareness of ‘How can I be the solution?’ ‘How can I consider Self-Responsibility?’ within the understanding that we won’t change ‘them’ or others for that matter –  we have to be the ones that step in, we have to be the ones that are willing to correct all of our personal ‘flaws’ which entail a personal debasement to for example, believe that we are disempowered. Instead we have to prove to ourselves that we can stand up as a reformed and corrected type of human being – as a New Human Kind –  that stops all forms of hatred, deception, violence, defensiveness, attack, complacency, defeatism, laziness, conformity and the ever so corrosive illusion of powerlessness, which is precisely what I many times have considered that is created as a result of an extensive amount or information on the fickleness of the human mind that might become emotionally affected by it, becoming obsessed to continue ‘dwelling’ on the same problem in spirals without landing on Earth back with solutions.  It is at the same time strange because this creates a strange sense of false-empowerment that leads – most of the times – nowhere; very, very few are able to read, understand and use the information and awareness constructively to continue building a foundation that gathers even more reasons as to why, for example, in the case of the American ‘Secret War’ as the Drone-Wars, the funds that go to combat a deliberately created boogie man, sending people to kill and enrich all the military contractors, should instead be spent in funding the provision of a basic income in America and creating a genuine safety net to prevent an upcoming crash that has been vaticinated for some time now, yet is already quite palpable based on the amount of poverty that exists in the U.S., isn’t it? So instead of waiting for the war-jackpot to hit home and revive the economy – why not informing people about the possible solution of using that money in a supportive manner that benefits the common man at home – it is about informing the society that such Military Defense budget Is in fact people’s taxes – this is just to name a brief example.

In this, I do not speak of creating Hope either, as it becomes a ‘waiting mode’ with idle expectations based on someone, somehow ‘turning the tables to our favor’ which won’t come at all by itself, and even if it happened that way, we would still then miss out the process of realizing that we actually have to be the ones that must do something about our lives – this whole process of facing massive consequences in this world is in fact a gift to allow ourselves to see what kind of responsibility we’ve abdicated throughout time, and so at the same time realizing that it is in taking self-responsibility that the solution begins.

 

What are the Practical Solutions then?

I can share with you what I’ve done myself which begins with getting to halt my own spewing that I used to vehemently defend and share with anyone else that I could as ‘my right to point out all that is wrong’ in this world and just remain there, in that complain, in that sense of protest which I lived as what I’ve denominated ‘The Loathing Politics’ character and having an ever present and growing hatred and disgust toward virtually anything that has to do with power and politics.  I live in Mexico and one of my first ingrained memories was listening on the radio about the release of a secret tape where some politicians and party enthusiasts were hiding voting ballots beneath the carpets of some governmental building during a presidential election, this was then about the politicians doing the necessary ‘dirty job’ to rig the game…  this became part of the pattern lived throughout my life of getting used to hearing about corruption and political neglect on a daily basis, it is a part of ‘how politics work’ here, hence my loathe and despair to it all back then.

So, to the day (January 30th) 7 years ago I decided to change my life and perspective toward it: from depressive and giving up on anything related to politics/system/society to recognizing that if I want my life and that of others to be genuinely good and supportive = I have to directly do something about it. It all started by me walking my own self-forgiveness on the past hatred toward every aspect of my life that I knew was detrimental to my personal development – this includes my reactions to ‘the world system’ – specifically politicians and people ruling in the catholic church – and so made a clear decision to for once and for stop being the predictable robot that only knows how to complain and blame.I decided to Stop adding my own bs and reactions to ‘those in power.’ Instead, understanding more about ‘the truth’ of this game led me to gather more and more reasons to understand that if a ‘few’ could do it, then our potential if united as the 99% of the world that is not ‘rigging the game’ can form an agreement to take responsibility for creating a new starting point in our society. I’ve also realized there is a massive potential yet to be unleashed that we have to begin growing and enticing within each other with simple steps, changing the way that we look at politics is an example of where one can start with.

 

“We need to do the opposite of what Russell Brand is advocating, we need to use our votes. Even if we don’t want to engage with the current broken system, we should not use that as an excuse for apathy. We should see it as an encouragement to engage in creating our own alternatives, our new co-created systems; to be creative about it and to connect. Connectivity is the key to a rapid change; but information in itself is meaningless if we don’t know how to decode it into wisdom.” –

Birgitta Jonsdottir  “Democracy in the Digital Era” – January, 2015

 

 

This is thus about first understanding the problems, understanding the ‘power structure’ and so realizing that if we see politics plays a big role, if CEO’s play a big role, if influential people in communities play a big role = then We have to become such ‘big roles’ as well! This won’t be an easy task either, because we are all essentially predestined to continue blindly walking the path of the least effort, giving up on the first obstacle we encounter, seeking the most reward without having to move a single finger and so on….  well, those days will be over soon.

We have to consider that we’ve allowed ourselves to be slaves for far too long, therefore it won’t take only 7 years to ‘wake up and change’ – no, we’re talking about walking through the human conditioning that’s lasted for thousands of years, which has increased in the last century at a rapid rate and is ever present now with the ability of be intercommunicated at all times. However in a way it also prompts us to consider first and foremost: how have I contributed to the problem as well with my inaction to take responsibility for it? Is my anger, hatred or blame supportive for myself or anyone? If not, then what would I do if – for example – I was ‘Obama’? or anyone you perceive has more ‘power’ than you for that matter…well, the thing is: we all have the ability and potential, we just squander it too much when being overwhelmed and emotionally driven to give up or just continually seek to focus on something more pleasurable and easily rewarding which is part of the necessary elements to keep ourselves in a divided and conquered mentality = this is the human failure that I decided to not be a part of anymore.

What do I practically do and support?

I support myself and other individuals to walk through this same process I just described, which is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever conceived I’d be doing with my life  – after perusing a rather selfish career in visual arts – and I gave myself a purpose to every single day share what I learn, what I consider as solutions, what I see as the problems and how we can use a documentary, a blog, a news article to reflect how what goes on ‘in the world’ as our individual and collective creation.

So, you can hear all my daily recordings which is a relatively ‘new’ project here: http://mixlr.com/marlen-vargas-del-razo/showreel/ – I support and am directly involved in the promotions of the  Living Income Guaranteed Proposal Living Income Guaranteed Proposal http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal / http://youtube.com/livingincome along with an exemplary group of people around the world at Equal Life Foundation which is part of the various efforts that we’ve proposed throughout the years as stepping stones toward political and economic change, while emphasizing on the necessity to include living principles which are similar to the same ones I’ve shared about my personal process.

So for example, providing a basic income/living income is a starting point to first get ourselves out of this survival-coerced mode and so, give each other the certainty of having the necessary to live. This in turn frees the necessary time to educate ourselves, to realize that it is about us now proposing solutions and giving that opportunity to each other to see who would we really be once that money stops being the main problem and obstacle for our personal and collective development. This also requires the will and volition to develop self-leadership and self-governance. It is not an easy task to do, though it is Not impossible either and everyone at ELF can be an example of what it is to live a regular life and still have the time to actually ‘walk the talk’ and direct ourselves to embody the principles that we agree on, the principles that we want to live by as a society and as a result of understanding the problems, which is what many people in the informed community already does – so now it’s about time to take the next step to encourage the development of a solution-based mindset.  

 

Giving up based on how ‘bad things look’ has become a common excuse to not do something about it – my take is: what else is there to do anyways in this world if not attending the problems we’ve caused? What else is there to do if not attending and raising your children, becoming an example of what is to do your work in the best possible way, supporting others to become better themselves, to recognize their potential and assist others in developing it –  which can be done once that one works on one’s own  – practicing our communication abilities, creating supportive personal and working relationships, becoming a living example of what is to Really ‘Be the change you want to see in this world’ and the list goes on…It only takes a decision from ourselves to be a part of the not-giving up group.

 

I would not even focus on trying to awaken those that are too fearful or complacent to even spare some minutes to read, watch or hear something that is beneficial to the whole. We tend to discourage ourselves from believing ‘no one cares’ when in fact, many Do care, but have no idea of where to even start with looking at a way through this mess, so that’s why education and information with a directive proposal for solutions is required and what we are in fact here for, no matter how ‘impossible’ it may seem at the moment – everything starts steps by step with oneself, isn’t it?


 

If we want to stop corruption, then let’s develop self-integrity, if we want to stop all lies and deception, then it’s time to develop self-honesty, if we are tired of ‘greedy people’ then we have to focus on developing moderation and being able to spot our own behavioral patterns and impulses where we give too much attention to that which only benefits ‘me’; this implies being a little bit more ‘selfless’ which is not giving oneself away, but developing a genuine care and empathy for others around us, as they are ‘us’ as well –  yes, even those in ‘high places.’ If we are so tired of the ‘same old’ bs, well, we have to also do some self-introspection and be willing to see and recognize what of ourselves we would like to change, what destructive patterns and habits we have that we know only lead us to a predictable outcome of failure/giving-up/passivity/complacency… how about instead we start considering how we affect ourselves/ others with our words, actions and inactions? What would it mean and what would I do if ‘I’ today had to become a person that is at the service of others like a public-servant/politician?

These are questions that lead us to recognize that we don’t have to wait for a president to give us nice answers on how to solve the problems, we can instead begin this process bit by bit ourselves, no matter how ‘unrealistic’ the feasible solutions might seem, because this ‘unrealistic’ conclusion about possible solutions becomes part of the obstacles to not think outside of the box and is part of the most common sabotage to potentially great ideas that, fortunately, are gaining more attention these days. 

These are the kind of questions that lead us to introspect and ensure that we live every day willing ourselves to see beyond the ‘fog’ and not get overwhelmed by how things currently operate. The trick is not to get lost in the rabbit hole and come out of it scared and only recreating another war as overloaded criticism and antagonism to those that we perceive as ‘the only culprits,’ or to try and attempt to ‘take the power away’ from someone through protesting and waging war – yet another one – with words, imaginations, intentions and predictable defeated outcomes.

This genuine (r)evolution is about focusing on individual self-change so that the way that we relate to one another and the world itself becomes the sheer result and accumulation of these seemingly ‘small changes’ that will certainly not get ‘Obama’ out of office – but will in turn encourage many others to start seeing behind the fog, to consider ways out in a human brain that is designed to always only focus on the friction/conflict and problem… it is about time we get rid of the belief, hope and sheer religious faith where we think that ‘those in power had to do this For Us’. It is about outgrowing the notion and comfortable denomination of ‘those in power’ by realizing that we are in fact the ones that abdicated such power: we are the majority therefore, we are in fact all capable of standing up for what we see will make our lives much better.

Our biggest problem at the moment is apathy and the perception of being powerless, and with this we do a disservice to life when we get too informed about the ultimate nitty gritty on conspiracies, but we don’t act in ways that prove we understand the problem and so have a better notion of how to start solving the problems as well.

 

I quote Junaid Malik with whom I fully agree with when it comes to the solution he proposes, and when I read his words I was glad to realize that not everyone that informs about the actuality and depth of the problem leaves a blog without a clear directive to self-responsibility:

 

There is no short term solution to the multidimensional problems we are facing. Education and awareness are key prerequisites for the change, which can only be achieved through a long term process. Instead of being selfish we will have to revive our faith in self-sacrifice for the common good. Instead of accepting an unequal educational system, we will have to educate all the children, the next generation in this country, without discrimination. Education doesn’t mean reading, writing or getting a degree and finding a job. It means learning to see through the façade of pretense. It means attaining knowledge and wisdom; knowledge to understand what’s going on and wisdom to change it. Let’s give it a try and hope that our next generation, once educated and enlightened, will stand against injustice and inequality, showing the oligarchy the exit door and replacing it with capable individuals in the decision-making process.” – JM http://wp.me/p2zw1Q-1o

 

So, my suggestion is that instead of continuing to rehash the same old predictable self-defeat, we use our time, our words, our simple interactions to share common sense = What WE Can Do in order to realize that it is about US learning to agree on what is best for all, learning to properly communicate, learning to always take the finger back to us and be willing to recognize our own flaws and self-deception first, and so prevent ourselves from jumping into conclusions and criticizing others – it is about being willing to give it our All that is humanly possible to correct the mess we’ve co-created – we all know what would make our lives in this world better, so why don’t we instead focus on working on that which is not only meaningful and gives a new sense to our lives, but absolutely necessary and ultimately our responsibility to the generations to come?  

 Thanks for reading and: walk along if you are ready to stand up

 

You can listen to the original version of this writing here: http://mixlr.com/marlen-vargas-del-razo/showreel/if-we-dislike-deception-we-have-to-become-self-honest/

 

world_change_self_honesty_responsibility_basic_income

 

 

 


419. Devaluation of Self

It’s fascinating that when we operate in terms of ‘values’ and we value people according to who we perceive them to be – as their amount of studies, knowledge and information and generally known success in life, we sometimes create the notion of ‘famous people’ or people that could be generally perceived as ‘more important than’ or ‘superior’ to others that we have defined as ‘plain mortals’ so to speak. I noticed that this exists within me in the form of considering that some people who I would like to invite for discussions could be ‘too famous’ to actually want to be in a live discussion with me/us.

 

Louis Vuitton Morton

 

This came up as I was sharing with others about a particular person I would like to invite to a live online discussion and even if I know I am directing myself to propose it and actually eventually create it, I noticed a sharp pain on my right leg, quite on the surface but unusual though so I got to know from the person I was talking to how this relates to one’s foundation of support, and from some older notes, the flow of expression. So what came behind the proposal to interview this individual were also aspects of self-doubt in relation to how I have valued/perceived the person to be. So I realized how I tend to create these limitations based on how I have ‘valued’ a person according to their ‘accrued interest’ on knowledge and information and so how I see myself considering it would be ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unbelievable’ or ‘out of reach’ or ‘requiring something more than what I got’ to be able to actually approach another individual to discuss topics that we for sure have in common to discuss.  But then again, how/what has in fact placed such limitation? Myself based on the perception of these individuals being already interviewed by other media and ‘professional anchors’ so in this, I actually create my own limitation because I then look at the person not for the actual purpose of having a chat with them would be, which is a point that benefits everyone in fact, but I then first pull out a point of doubt of whether ‘we are up to the height’ required for it.

So in this particular practical considerations are required. For sure it would imply that I for example, have to ensure I read up to and continue educating myself to get more background on the person and their work so that I can have that same foundation for such conversation, that’s just practical stuff that I do anyways – so what changed? Well, the idea of ‘who’ the person is, so here we go!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider person x as ‘way too unreachable for a chat’ considering that I have placed this person as an ‘important individual’ in their spheres of influence and within that ultimately believing that ‘they would not care/agree to have a chat with us’ without realizing that in this, I am in fact giving up or already going into defeat before even trying, so WTF?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I would require something ‘more’ in order to be able to invite someone for a chat, such as greater production or more publicity or else, without realizing that what I/we do is what is possible at the moment and using the means that we have at our reach and as such the simplicity of it and the use of cost-less resources does not diminish the quality of the production as the conversation in itself – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition in the belief that this individual will only accept an interview if it comes from some major media outlet, without realizing that in this I am already giving up to even actually going for it and making an invitation to the person – within this, my approach has to be equal and one as with every other person I invite and so,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inferiority toward an individual that I consider ‘unreachable’ or ‘too famous’ or ‘too prestigious’ to be part of a conversation with me/us online – in this I realize that through this perception of the person being ‘more than’ I created my own limitation toward them and so creating an experience of uncertainty of myself in relation to how that conversation would develop – without realizing that this is all only my own mind patterns and experiences that I have created throughout time toward particular people that I have considered as ‘famous’ and ‘well known’ to be ‘out of reach’ people and me considering having a discussion with them something extravagant, meaning going ‘out of reason’ of what I would consider would be ‘suitable’ for me, which is all existent as a scheme of values that I’ve placed toward myself and others, which is unacceptable as the starting point of the whole thing is actually to promote and create a more equal society.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a tinge of fear of having a discussion with someone that I had previously somewhat antagonized and in this, I realized that my previous stance toward basically everyone that did not agree with how I saw solutions should be was that of rather continuous criticism, which obviously will lead us nowhere and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear that my previous criticism and mockery toward the movement that this person stands for comes back to me in the form of the person rejecting my invitation for a live discussion – in this I realize that the actual fear is that the person could use what I previously said against me and against this renewed effort to rather work together. I realize that in this I have to first forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to criticize an individual’s work and overall movement as a non-working solution, without realizing that yes we all make mistakes and what I have learned throughout these years is precisely to not create enemies, but rather be able to find a common ground and that’s my current stance. Therefore I hereby declare that I have forgiven myself for having created antagonism toward other individuals that didn’t ‘suit’ my perceptions and ideas and plans for what I define as ‘real change,’ and now that we are coming to a common ground, it seems possible that we can in fact then advocate for the same principle, which is cool and in this ultimately it’s about me being clear on where I stand in relation to this individual and the movement he stands for itself, wherein I am willing to accept my past perceptions and mistakes and so be willing to obviously start anew as this is what we all require to do in the world: to forgive ourselves for our assumptions and judgments made toward ourselves and others in order to start from scratch and building relationships that go beyond ego or ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong,’ but rather get to work together as equals.

Ultimately in all of this, I realize how my own perceptions, beliefs and past ‘trespasses’ could create a limitation in expanding toward working and contacting people that I consider are now aligning more and more with the solutions we also advocate – and so it is absolutely necessary to stop ourselves as ego from becoming an obstacle in the development that we can in fact carry out for the betterment not only of ‘ourselves’ as individuals, but for the causes that we actually stand for – this means: principle must always override any ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose a sense of ‘not being up to the height’ of another and believing that ‘the person would not want to discuss with me’ because of me not having a particular ‘popular’ stance or reputation or believing that I would require to have some sense of ‘official recognition’ in order to be able to invite certain individuals, as if there was like this ‘scale of values’ that one would have to gather in order to do so. I realize that this limitation is absolutely something built over my own perceptions toward people based on their knowledge, their information, their careers and professions, their relationships, their leadership positions and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more weight to knowledge, information, careers, relationships with what I have defined as ‘important people’ and within this create a limitation of ‘who I would be capable and able to establish a conversation with’ based on who I perceive them to be or what I would perceive they would think if a ‘regular person’ like me asks them for an interview.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use terms like ‘being a regular person’ or a ‘mortal’ meaning a person that has no ‘laureate’ from the system or that has a specific recognition or validation at system level in relation to the topics I want to discuss, wherein I then create the usual trap of ‘not being qualified’ at the eyes of others, which is part of the problem we have co-created in our society wherein we believe that one is only ‘capable’ if you are given a ‘license’ as a permission and validation that you in fact ‘know’ about something, all part of the same system of credentials and values that exist and that yes, are required at the moment in the system – but this does not diminish someone’s ability and capacity to do the same or even more than what a person with a license has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others would only accept or consider me to be reliable if I had some sort of recognition ‘out in the system’ so that a person then would not reject an interview with me – and within this I forgive myself that I have actually accepted and allowed myself to assume what a person would ‘expect of me’ or the kind of ‘licenses’ they would expect me to have or the amount of knowledge that ‘they would want me to have’ in order to have a conversation with them, which is all, once again, speculation and ideas based on how I have seen for example the academic world operates in hierarchical levels wherein for example teachers and their apprentices are seen as ‘more than’ any other individual in the same institution.

This actually comes from my own experiences of imposing a superior value to people in academia in fact, people that I have considered as ‘too way up in the academic world’ and that I’ve perceived that everyone reveres to them, and that they are ‘not up for just any regular chat’ which I then realized it was false once that I got to know ‘important people’ that one would see on TV or in high academic circles and at the same time seeing them in their regular life just like any other ‘mortal’ therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having carried this idea of some people being ‘holier than thou’ based on my perception of the person being ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ or having some kind of ‘important academic position’ or being ‘an artist’ or else, who are all the individuals that I placed as ‘more than myself’ including politicians of course and probably kings just because of the whole propaganda and brainwashing that is created based on the amount of ‘importance’ we believe we must give certain individuals and ‘feel’ different toward them as well, instead of realizing we are in fact equals and no amount of knowledge and information should make anyone ‘holier’ than another as it’s all based on mind values, on knowledge and information and yes, we are ultimately all made of flesh and bones and are all mortals in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever learn from my family how to behave with ‘well known individuals’ and politics and people that I have considered as ‘rich’ and ‘very important people’ – apparently – that I kind of learned that I should revere in a way, and act even more service-like which is absolutely – excuse the word – fucked up. I realize that this comes from me witnessing how my family would revere to politicians whenever they would come to parties and kind of even change their stance to appear more service-like and ‘affable’ and ‘giving them the keys to their house’ so to speak, as if these individuals were ‘more’ than any other guest in the house. This comes of course from the imposition of value/power/authority and even ‘fame’ and recognition to particular individuals based on the position that they have in society for example – therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should get even ‘nervous’ or up to the expectation of having someone ‘popular’ or ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ talking with me because of imposing the same experiences that I got from witnessing my family and how they would behave with ‘important people’ like artists or politicians and within this, copy the exact same experience that I would perceive others would have around these people, which was that of excitement, nervousness and wanting everything to be ‘top notch’ FOR THEM, which is the whole ‘service-like’ attitude that I learned one ‘should have’ when dealing with someone that is considered famous, more important or – god, dare I say – more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still see a person that is ‘well known’ through the eyes of knowledge and information, through the eyes of the mind wherein I see a person based on the amount of recognition, fame, perceived authority based on the position they occupy or else and within this forget about equality because I still place this veil of ‘importance’ over others, which is of course unacceptable as I realize that we are all in fact one and equal and that we have in fact consolidated and continued to accept the current status quo based on this mind-hierarchy that we act out almost ‘by default’ toward perceived important/famous people, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see some of those ‘famous individuals’ as ‘more than myself’ and this comes from the time when I would approach any artist for example and request their autograph as a child and how excited I would get from these experiences, because I learned that people that were on TV then ‘were more famous than’ anyone else therefore associating value with ‘being on TV’ or any other ‘well known position,’ which implies immediately placing myself as ‘not up to that height’ so to speak – but really, all of these ideas of importance, height, prestige, fame, recognition are all values that I have associated with a ‘superiority’ instead of realizing that they are in fact words that denote the actual work and life experience as well as trajectory that an individual or group of individuals have crated throughout their life to get to certain positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive and superiority value to the word ‘prestige’ wherein the fact that someone can be well known, respected and has achieved quite a lot in their life becomes an ‘added value’ in my perception and thus placing myself as ‘less than’ them based on such achievements, which I realize is a point of self-separation when one identifies oneself or another based on the amount of knowledge and information they have or ‘how’ other individuals perceive them, which is all seen through the mind’s eye.

 

Instead prestige is simply recognizing the well-known work and recognition of an individual’s life experience and contributions wherein their work  and their deeds speak by themselves and as such widespread recognition and respect is an outflow of their life, their work and contributions being supportive for others as well, which is definitely what we should all direct ourselves to aim at being and becoming in our lives, to leave our lifetime of supporting to create a world that is best for all, and so live self-respect, which means that someone’s work and recognition becomes their own life and what they say/do and act on, which is nothing more or nothing less than life, it is simply an example that we can learn from and so also see as the potential that exists within each one of us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘fame’ with an experience of superiority and ‘more than’ others comparison, instead of realizing that fame as being known or being excellent in something is not an ‘added value’ to another individual, but simply what they have achieved through their own direction and creation – whether it is for ‘good fame’ or ‘bad fame’ it is simply the general perception of ‘who another is’ based on their words and actions. Therefore, there is no need to add an experience to fame or who am I toward perceived ‘famous people’ because it is simply recognizing another’s life, trajectory, expertise and/or mastering in certain fields as yet another example of what we can do and become if we are equally diligent in the work and dedication to achieve something, which is a general trait that ‘famous people’ get to do, whether it is for constructive or destructive outcomes.

Of course the way to live fame a constructive type of fame is to become well known by one’s living example of being a solution to the world instead of a destructive role model for sure, so in that our own perceived ‘values’ over one another would have to veer toward valuing as in recognizing another individual as an example of our own potential based on how one lives by principles that recognize our equality and that consider at all times what is best for all.

Therefore, it is not to see these words of prestige, fame, recognition as a synonym of ‘superiority’ at all, but rather seeing them as the result and consolidation of their names as public figures based on the actual work they do, based on how they have contributed to the common good, which is ultimately someone that I can definitely say is respectable and for sure someone that should be recognized by all people for what they’ve done/ achieved in their lifetime. This is then the physical living and work talking for itself, which doesn’t make the person ‘more’ than another either, but simply realizing that yes they have done the actual work, they have done the actual walking of a particular point that took them to be in a certain position that they are in the world system.

 

 

 

It is interesting how even culturally we learn how to create a particular excitement or even fear when being around a particular ‘famous person,’ as if they were in fact having this ‘divine aura’ around them which doesn’t make sense as they are just humans too. Sure, one can have a particular fondness toward another individual but ultimately any person that does believe that they are ‘superior’ to others based on their fame, their work, their knowledge and information, their lifetime experience is in fact then acting from ego, and as such it is for sure their point to ultimately realize. But here, my point of self-responsibility is to ensure that I am not the one that is coming from/approaching another based on these value-systems that have led us to continue stratifying our society – this is unacceptable.

So, the corrective process is that when and as I see myself going into any slight refraction of a doubt when it comes to my ability and capability of approaching a person that I have defined as ‘important’ or ‘well known’ I make sure I identify what is it exactly that is creating the shift so that I can see what fear or what expectation came up that created such experience, and so I bring myself to the awareness that we are all human beings and there is no one ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ and so I should not place my mind’s eye as the ones to decide ‘who I am’ toward another or jumping into conclusions of ‘what the other people would ask of me’ but rather ensure that my decision to approach another is based on first of all, equality, support and the openness to dialogue and work together within the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I have to ensure that I do not use my past and my past experiences as a limitation toward approaching people or my fears/excitements or general ideas of ‘superior people’ as a veil for me to not act in common sense which means: being my own foundation and structure to give myself direction to do something based on the assessment of my ability and capability to do so.

In this, ‘who’ the other person is becomes irrelevant which means, my perception upon them is not to be used as a determining factor for it – this is about me assessing the benefit of such conversation, the potential supportive outcome of it that is best for all parts. Within this, is also necessary and quite valid to make a personal assessment of where I would require to sharpen up my studies and my review of information in order to be ‘up to date’ with what we could discuss in a conversation, but this does not mean that it’s also going to be some kind of ‘duel’ of knowledge and information either, because the starting point of this is precisely to share what each person gets to know of, understand and/or create as solutions that we can all share and learn from. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would have to be at certain level of ‘knowledge and info’ to be ‘ready’ to talk with another, which in a way it does make sense to be prepared but not to the level of ‘wanting to know it all’ already, otherwise, what would be the point of having a conversation with another if not to learn more from each other and so strengthen ourselves equally.

 

I realize that this is also the influence of the current debate programs and interview TV shows wherein some of the interviewers challenge the person they interview sometimes to the point of ‘who knows more’ or ‘who can win’ which is the whole ‘debating’ aspect that is actually detrimental to the public watching because we then recreate the notion that someone has to be absolutely right and others absolutely wrong or dismissed – instead of realizing that a conversation with people that I have not so much previous contact with should be about having them share their perspectives, learn and take what’s best as well as learn how to listen to the points that I might not agree with, however by creating an antagonism only on that we create further rifts and problems where the actual common ground can be dismissed, which is not cool, not acceptable in a world wherein it’s easier to wage wars than creating dialogues to establish ‘peace’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive people that have written out books or published an exorbitant amount of words as ‘more than myself’ and within this, realizing that if the starting point is placing ‘who am I’ as an individual against another individual, ego will always create a barrier and prevent me from actually expanding and rather learning from others. In this thus, I realize that I have to ensure that my own limitations carried from the past ‘learned inferiority’ toward certain individuals doesn’t become an obstacle to me actually stretching out hands and creating contact with people that I had regarded as ‘more’ than myself, and to always realize that whenever I see anyone as ‘more than myself’ I become the very continuation of the problem I am  trying to resolve which is inequality, which is the continuation of hierarchical values and the notion of ‘power’ and superiority embedded onto something/someone above ‘the rest.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up at ‘first try’ after contacting certain individuals, without realizing that my approach was still coming from this already ‘made up expectation’ of ‘they won’t accept/ they won’t even reply’ or else, which is then what happened and then became a form of ‘defeatism’ in terms of trying to approach certain individuals.

In this thus my sole responsibility is to ensure that I realize that it’s not ‘me’ that is asking for that interview, it’s about me as the principle and foundation I stand for and as with the purpose of learning from others, of sharing supportive outcomes for humanity that is asking for such interview – therefore I do not have to place myself as ‘my persona’ before me when doing my job which is to establish connections and communication with people no matter ‘who’ it is.

In this, I realize this is the point to apply, a practical equality toward people and stopping my mind’s view upon others based on ‘who’ I perceive they are, and instead I commit myself to focus on their words, their work, their visible and practical solutions and contributions to society, which is what I am interested as a person that represents an organization that stands for the principle of what is best for all life.  In this I have to also recognize myself and to not ‘devalue’ me based on the perceived ‘validations’ I would require to ‘make me/my words/what I stand for’ as ‘valid’ or ‘recognizable’ in the world system, as I realize that there is currently no such ‘validation’ and due importance given to the consideration and realization of life in equality, of supporting one another, of truly working together for best for all outcomes and so , how can I expect me/us to have such ‘recognition’ in a world that recognizes and places fame on the exact opposite?

There’s no visible honoring toward life yet so we have to build it from scratch so I commit myself to stop expecting some form of ‘validation’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘credits’ in order to give further steps of expansion within myself and my process of communicating with others – and instead rather recognize that it is our own work, our own consistency and dedication that which makes us valuable as the principles that we stand and live by – ultimately that’s just the value of life for life and that’s rather what I decide to dedicate myself to honor, to honor life not world-system credentials and ‘values’ placed in separation of who we really are as equals, which is also what’s worth while supporting and sharing with others.

 

I commit myself to imposing money-talk to others too wherein I value others based on ideas related to energy and money, which is not who we really are and so I rather develop a communication based on living principles where equality stands as our undeniable common ground to work on.

 

All Life Is Equal

 

Read people recognizing Life in Equality in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

 


413. First Steps to Living Leadership

 

One of the conditions that we have quite embedded within ourselves is hierarchy, the idea that there is always someone above us that we must follow/take orders from/obey and that someone is apparently always the one that is supposed to keep things ‘under control,’ to provide a sense of security and care as this overall omnipotent person or organization that we all make ourselves dependent on. In this, when we ‘follow’ we make of ourselves –by default – inferior to such idea of being ‘the leader’/a leader and within that, even if we have the most genuine intention to change the world, we continue being enslaved by our inherent learned programming of ‘following’ and waiting for others to take the first step.

 

In this process I’ve used comparison as a form to keep myself in a very comfortable position of believing that ‘well, others know better than me, why should I bother to take such position?’ ‘Oh well, I am not as good with communicating that, such person is better at it, so, why should I?’ ‘Oh, but, I don’t have the overall existential context of this, so my perspective is not as holistic as it should, so I rather leave that to another person that can give such perspective’ and so forth. This had prevented me from actually realizing that in these very excuses and justifications, I was rendering myself as ‘inferior’ in a deliberate manner which is not only inferior to this/that person, but simply by perceiving myself as inferior/ not  yet good enough to keep myself in the background, to simply continue ‘following the leader’ so to speak.

 

What I have realized this is that the sole idea of a ‘leader’ as one single person already creates a point of separation, rendering unique abilities to one person or one organization, one ‘entity’ person or ‘god’ for example and in this the rest can remain comfortably ‘shadowed’ by this leader figure, which is why we become too complacent in a job that requires the least effort or responsibility, the least challenges. We fear change, we fear getting to know new people, we dislike breaking our routine/our known ways, disrupting our ‘territory’ and so remaining in the comfortable status quo is precisely what keeps running this world system as is: because we don’t challenge everything we see requires to be changed. It’s not the ‘few world leaders’ that keep it the way it is: it is our complacency, our apathy, our decision to live by the ‘law of the least effort’ and so avoiding responsibility and participation in the matters that pertain to our lives at all cost, not realizing that the ‘cost’ is high when it comes to merely following: the decisions, the contracts, the laws, the entire structures we continually comply to as our acceptance and allowance are not functioning in the best interest of all. The real cost is then life itself: our own disregard for life, for one another which is creating the hideous consequences we can all read about day by day in the news and world events. Why hasn’t anything changed then!? Well, because we simply haven’t stepped up to live the word Leadership.

See, instead of holding an image of this ‘omnipotent’ charismatic leader idea of individual/entity that we see as ‘leader,’ I suggest stripping the word to its basic meaning so that we can instead not believe we have to become yet another ‘character’ as a leader, but simply Live the word Leadership.

 

 

How to practically Live Leadership from the ground up?

Well, what I’ve realized is that because we have created such ginormous idea of what ‘being a Leader’ is or what ‘leadership’ implies, we become subject to our own fantasies, projections, beliefs, prejudices and in doing so, we separate ourselves from living the word leadership as the basic realization of each one’s inherent potential that exists within us by the virtue of being alive, being in a physical body, having a mind and using our will to become self-directive. Ok, so that’s the first point – you can check for yourself now: are you a breathing living human being? Can you see yourself being able to think and speak and direct your body according to what you decide to do in your thoughts OR are you being automatically driven to do/say/think things without you fully being aware of it? This is a first assessment of the physical ‘hardware’ we essentially require as ingredients to Live the word Leadership: to realize we have a body, we have a mind, we have our will.

Now, in terms of the ‘software’ here comes the tricky part. We have been essentially indoctrinated from the beginning of our time to believe that some priest, king, emperor, chief, master is always meant to be the head of the tribe/group/society and so lead the way – in this we never have in fact questioned such position: how did they get there? Did they get any ‘special knowledge’ beforehand? Are they in fact ‘the most well adapted individuals?’ ‘Did they use force to get to such position of ‘power and control’? We haven’t really questioned this in depth; we just took such positions for granted. So with having lived this way throughout most of our lives, we have then become subject to our own faulty programming: we have never been taught how to live the word leadership, how to not wait for others to ‘show us the way’ but use our basic physical hardware as our body, our mind, our will to do things and getting it done along with the investigation, research, trial and error processes that doing any sort of task or work involves, which includes of course even the changing of our individual mind patterns as well.

This is why we have to be very patient with us when it comes to wanting to live the word leadership: we first have to run a ‘defragmentation’ of our ‘disk’ as our mind patterns, our prejudices, judgments and experiences that we have attached to the idea of a leader or leadership in separation of ourselves, seeing it as something ‘superior’ or ‘too much’ or ‘frightening’ or ‘intimidating’ or any other adjective and/or emotional or feeling experience we have attached to it, which is then what one can see, investigate and realize as the limitation it creates within oneself when it comes to ‘placing ourselves in the shoes of the leader’ and so, what we do in such emotional experience or prejudices is that we separate ourselves from Living the word Leadership. All of these judgments, ideas, beliefs have to be thrown to the garbage for the past preprogramming they have been, for the self-disrespect they imply in terms of the limitations we impose to our body, our mind and our will. For this, we have the tools of writing, applying self-forgiveness for having accepted and allowed such limitations within ourselves and so, realizing that once that we have cleared out our viruses and old software, we now have a clean slate to write our own application as the way we see we can begin integrating the word Leadership in our day to day Living.

It is fascinating but one can jump into conclusions or future projections on how ‘Living the word Leadership’ will imply immediately taking some sort of ‘presidential’ position in your community or in your house or in a group or else – but nope, the actuality of this is that one truly first requires to focus on oneself: to become the directive principle of our lives in every moment that we are breathing, here, alive, physically present. Why? Because when one is only parroting the old patterns running in auto-pilot mode, the old ‘me’ that stood as a follower to my own thoughts, what I believe I feel or experience about myself then I simply re-load the obsolete program as ‘the old me’ and continue running this ‘me’ as the automated ‘app’ we have reduced ourselves to –  and in this I also then keep my environment, my surroundings, the people I interact with in that same mentality as well: we keep each other caged in this same old patterned reality where we blindly follow ‘everything we’ve ever known, everything we’ve ever been,’ which is the who we are as our mind, as all our perceived ‘lacks’ and self-judgments, comparisons, rivalry, superior/inferior mentality, specialness, indifference, apathy, superiority, etc.

So, within keeping ourselves in the ‘old frame of mind,’ it becomes rather impossible to live the word Leadership, because the first step is to actually Lead ourselves ‘out of the mind and into the physical’ which is not some kind of magical statement or involving anything else other than stopping ourselves from following our thoughts, our feelings, our emotions, any form of confusion, friction and conflict and focus on our ability to make a conscious decision to STOP running in the speed train of emotions and feelings, to STOP playing that ‘old me-record’ and decide to orchestrate a new tune, a new move, a new me, a new approach to the ‘same old’ and so really put the effort to create a solution in our lives, in such moment, in such situation or with such individual/s. This is how we can then begin challenging ourselves in a way that it becomes a learning and expansive process each day. It’s interesting how one can ever perceive ‘boredom’ outside of ourselves as if ‘the world is boring’ and so go seeking ‘positive experiences,’ without realizing that the we are the ones that create the boredom by becoming subject to our own ‘known ways,’ the same old ‘paths’ and predictable behaviors and not really using every day to innovate, to challenge ourselves, to step beyond the limitations we saw within us the day before, to see our day to day as an opportunity to challenge everything we’ve ever known and so in doing this genuinely see how an opportunity to let go of the limitation steps forth.

 

Self Responsibility comes First

This can be an expansive and learning process that can be lived in many ways ‘toward others’ or ‘outside in the world’ as well, but the first point will always be to start leading our way within ourselves: self first, which is: becoming self-directive in our own minds, to have the volition to not follow the ‘same old me’ and play the broken record that I know where it’s going to lead me, but to rather use the moment, the life that I have to expand, explore, do things, learn from mistakes, learn from others, interact and within doing so already leading ourselves outside of our comfort zone, which is the mind, the known, the unchangeable, the false-sense of security we have in our ‘known ways.’ 

About the word ‘Leadership’ – It is truly a word that I recommend us all to practice living it, becoming it within its most simplistic consideration at this stage which is to ensure that one is not ‘being ridden’ by the mind, but that one is first of all clear, stable, grounded here – absolutely here – and aware of every word, experience, movement, decision that we make, assessing at all times ‘what is my starting point for doing/saying this? Where is this want/need/desire coming from?’ ‘what is the starting point of me saying/doing/acting in this way toward this person/that situation?’ ‘Is this decision or consideration something that is beneficial for myself and others?’ ‘Am I actually considering living principles here and preventing consequences?’ ‘How can I best learn from this mistake and redirect it toward a solution?’– This is then when we stop seeing the decision to ‘live a word’ as some kind of magnificent plan in separation of ourselves, but we actually first of all focus on living it ourselves in every moment of the simplicity that implies breathing, assessing one’s very next move and so see one’s entire day as a blank canvass where we always can decide when, how and why we paint the next stroke – in the end, we will have to live with ourselves as our creation, so why not take the wheel instead of sitting in the backseat to ensure we can be entirely sure that what we live and create is entirely our set of decisions/our mistakes/our challenges/our learned processes, ensuring that we truly gave our 100% to our process of self-creation.

I challenge myself here the same way that I was once challenged by one great man that left the Earth one year and some days ago. In that moment I knew: we have to all pitch in, this is it! To live leadership, to learn how to trust my decisions, my principles, testing what works, to not allow any belief or experience to hinder my experience and if so, assessing, aligning, correcting, debugging and taking the next breath to keep moving on. Life is not difficult, life is not a struggle: we are the ones that have ‘made’ it this way, so it is in our hands to make it a truly enjoyable, learning, productive and challenging experience for ourselves as human beings throughout our lifetime.

So, let’s ensure we can do this for ourselves and for the generations to come.

 

 

 

To learn more about Self-Leadership:


403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode

I have previously discussed how it is that we condition ourselves to create/put on a hard veneer in order to – let me be frank – not be fucked with/bullied/attacked by others and how this becomes like a second skin growth to actually make up for an initial experience of being vulnerable or having felt attacked by others words/actions. Here we can see how we condition each other to be constantly expecting the worst from one another, and so becoming the ‘fighters’ in the battlefield that we’ve created of our lives.

There are various reasons for this, one can be survival which is the way we have conditioned ourselves, our human nature to be guarding our own interest out of fear of others taking it away or abusing each other to get the most with the least effort etc. Another one is more related to that ‘attack’ that exists as a violent action toward one another, verbally/psychologically speaking while at the same time having the possibility to escalate to become physical as well. This is how I could see that we begin ‘corrupting’ ourselves0 when taking each others words personally, as a ‘personal attack’ and so create it in the form of bullying or ‘trollism’ as it exists now.

Here I’ll focus on a rather simply form in which I’ve noticed my own ‘defense-mode’ and what are the reasons for it. I’ve been actively participating in answering/interacting on YouTube and forums wherein I have had one of the most vivid evidences of how we can attack each other just for the sake of winning a ‘battle’ in our minds, just for the sake of ‘being right’ and making one another look like ‘an ass’ because ‘they are wrong’ and so in essence co-creating  just another virtual battlefield to breed human hatred or perpetuate the ‘Divide and Conquer’ mind frames which I initially would react to in an emotional way upon reading such denigrating, defaming,, spiteful, violent and even life threatening comments we would get on a daily basis as a result of what we publish, which is all about life in equality, living rights, what is best for everyone, etc.

So, looking back,  this is what I see as a cool ‘training ground’ when it comes to facing the REAL human nature and not only see the one I had believed in  – such as the good nature one – while being locked in my ‘home bubble’ and my limited environment with limited interactions, where I yes certainly did face bullying and backstabbing from ‘friends’ at an early age, prompting me into quite a ‘depression ‘ at the age of 7, 8 because of not being able to fathom such ‘harm’ imposed toward me from another at first, until I had the support from my mother to realize I did not have to take others words/actions personally – which was great support and led me to become rather independent from sheeple mentality while going through school. I did, however, become somewhat defensive in my personality, I could say that yes I had clear principles but a lot of it was also from the starting point of showing ‘others’ that ‘you can’t mess around with me,’ it worked to a certain extent – but what happens when that ‘veneer’ becomes ‘who you are’ and how one dictates one’s every interaction?

 

I see that the defense-mode that I am able to act out upon in one moment actually stems from acting once again based on past experiences/memories where I still place myself in such ‘defense mode’ meaning being ready to be ‘attacked’ from the moment that I, for example,  read a YouTube comment and so, instead of unconditionally reading the words that a person is placing, I already see where I can ‘find the point they are missing out on’ or what they are ‘defending’ or where they are trying to ‘prove me wrong, so that I can ‘point it out back’ and so this is something that I became used to do back in the day where we were certainly first becoming more aware of what each person implied in their words, which has been supportive nonetheless. But I see that I require to now and from here on step down from continuing that mechanism/way; this actually happened to me yesterday where I did thankfully get feedback from the person that I replied to on YouTube saying: “Marlen? I commented because you right on the money!  Thank You!”  The first word as my name with a question mark implying that they probably didn’t understand why I had replied in such a ‘harsh’ manner. And so I realized that I had come through toward him in the same old ‘attack-mode’ and ‘defense-mode’ instead of just seeing where the person is coming with the comment, what I can agree on as that’s our common ground and then expanding a bit on it without having the starting point of ‘proving him wrong’ or judging his very reply for not considering all points that I see but simply focusing on what I can do to assist and support to expand on the points brought up and create a conversation from there.

Assist and support here are the key points, not to ‘defend my point’ or ‘defend my cause’ because that’s what creates the battlefield on YouTube, but rather keeping it simple when answering back and inviting the person to continue the dialogue instead of wanting ‘them’ to ‘change’ all of a sudden toward Me and what I have to say, as that would be me as ego wanting validation/acceptance from others right away. The same point applies when I have deemed others as being ‘defensive’ toward me and so judging others as ‘being on defense mode’/being on attack-mode but it is really only me projecting my perception upon them because I’ve ‘been there/done that too.

 

So the key here is to then when and as I see myself reading comments, reading/hearing another’s words, I assist and support myself to not go into the predisposition of fighting/ attacking another based on the belief/assumption that ‘they are here to attack me first’ and so, instead allow me to read the comment/words unconditionally, without expectations or already ‘sharpening my knife’ to ‘get back at them,’ as I see that within this starting point I perpetuate the conflict and not allow myself to be really HERE with/as the words written/spoken and so be able to interact/reply back within the consideration of what I can learn from what the person is explaining, what I can learn from them, where I see that I agree upon to also reply back and letting the person know I also see that/agree with it.

This implies: Seeing where there is a point where I can share from my own realizations, self investigations and not only from knowledge and information, all of this within the consideration of placing myself in another’s shoes, taking into consideration the words in one YouTube comment, one email, one conversation and ‘walking with’ to expand on a point of cognitive dissonance, misinformation, belief, or an emotional reaction to the points explained, so that I can also point it out in a considerate non-defensive, non-attacking, non-aggressive manner which means explaining to another a point the same way I would want another to explain it to me: with patience, with humbleness and gentleness so as to be able to let the other person know that I do stand as these principles I talk about at all times, this is who I am and this is the consideration, care, gentleness and humbleness toward others that I commit myself to live by when interacting with them, so as to not come through as ‘me having the truth’ or ‘me having to be always right’ but being also willing to see my faults, my mistakes, where I reacted to another’s words and so take responsibility for such reactions myself.

 

So to not go into ‘denial’ of my actions, which is what the vlog was about in fact wherein I received such comment, here I stand directive of such point which opened up yesterday and so I am directing it here, as I see that if I want to create a world of transparency, integrity and trust, I have to be doing just that myself, seeing, realizing, understanding my mistakes, my reactions, investigate where they ‘come from,’ understand them, self forgive them and most importantly, give myself a new direction as to how I am going to be living these corrections from now on whenever I interact with another.

 

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition of ‘having to defend myself’ when replying to YouTube Comments or replying to others’ words whether written or in a conversation, instead of realizing how I perpetuate my own memories of the past and even from my childhood of how I had to be ‘wary’ of people’s words and actions toward me, which is why I became ‘edgy’ as well, not being able to trust others and as I’ve explained before, this is not about ‘trusting others’ but rather trusting me in being able to read/hear words in stability and be able to support myself unconditionally to interact, reply back within the consideration of what is self-supportive both for ‘them’ and ‘myself’ as two or more individuals establishing a communication and settling the way to create a point of communal understanding – not fighting or ‘proving each other right/wrong’

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am in fact perpetuating the current status quo in our relationships where we have focused so much on the winner/loser mentality, the ‘attacker’ and the ‘attacked,’ the bully and the bullied and where we believe that we constantly have to be ‘defending’ ourselves which can only exist if we are ‘coming from’ a starting point of ego as in seeing others as enemies, as ‘the problem,’ as ‘the ignorant ones and oneself being the ‘right one,’ through which we approach another from the vantage point of seeing another as inferior to myself and so believing that I have to ‘educate them’ with ‘what I know’ instead of being actually grateful that there are people that are still willing to reply in a comment to a YouTube video and so be able to hear/get to know what others’ perspectives on a subject and learn from it, see where we still have to ‘align’ our understanding, what are the main points where there is still a point tampering self-realization,  as well as being willing to correct ourselves if necessary and in the possible measure, being able to support and assist another to expand themselves a bit more – maybe point out some aspects they can do further investigation on, other blogs or vlogs to watch/read and so not immediately ‘showing the way out’ when the entire starting point of commenting by the other individual is to precisely establish communication and be able to continue it in the best possible way.

I realize that in our world nothing will be changing if we do not first focus on being able to get to hear /read one another, see where there is a common ground and build it from there, thus no longer existing in the ‘I’ll prove you wrong’ mentality.

 

I also realize that I have to be aware of not seeing myself as ‘the victim’ that is going to be ‘abused/attacked by others’ as in this position of victimization I then justify my ‘getting back at’ others as in ‘having to defend myself’ which is why in this world we, for example, allow the use and existence of guns, because we give into this mentality that ‘I have to protect myself, I have to be armed’ without first investigating why and what causes this abuse in the first place.

 

I realize that I have to stop projecting my past, and my ‘mind-frame’ that I had built around ‘commenting on YouTube’ as in ‘getting myself  into a battlefield’ and instead, read the comments from the starting point of being able to support myself, to learn from another, to see where I can improve my communication, identify and recognize where I wasn’t clear/what I missed and so expand through this communication instead of already wanting to ‘end’ the interaction by placing a comment that could be seen as ‘sparking up reactions’ which previously I had defined as supportive for the person to ‘face themselves’ but, we are in a different stage in our process so I now apply the point of being gentle and supportive with others, the same way that I would like a ‘stranger’ on YouTube to reply to my messages and comments as well, doing to another what I would like to be done unto in the same situation and in all cases for that matter.

 

I commit myself to use the opportunity of interacting with others either through comments on a website, on a forum, on every day conversations/interactions so that I can expand and support myself while at the same time assisting and supporting another, because it is in these seemingly ‘irrelevant’ or ‘small moments’ that actual windows of opportunity exist to ‘connect’ to others and let them also realize that there are solutions, there are people that do not fall into the usual patterns of the divide and conquer mentality, and so this is what I commit myself to living in all aspects of my everyday living and interactions with people from around the globe through the marvelous platform that the Internet is.

 

I commit myself to redirect my judgments upon others being ‘in a defense mode’ and instead be able to in such moments immediately take the point back to self and direct myself toward another in a way wherein I can apply consideration, humbleness, gentleness to place myself in their shoes so that I am able to best support them and expanding ourselves through using words or even behavior, voice tonality that indicates in stability that I am here, I hear you, I understand you, let’s clarify this/let’s expand on this/ have you considered this point about this that you mentioned here? so that it is and becomes a more ‘inviting’ way to continue interacting with another.

 

I commit myself to walk through my own ‘predisposition’ of being in this ‘defense-mode’ so that I can stand here, clear, open, available and willing to communicate and direct another’s questions and sometimes even curiosity and not fall into the ‘attacking-mode’ but to genuinely be able to consider their starting point and so walk-with, instead of walking-against others.

 

I commit my self to live the realization that ‘the enemy’ is really myself and my own assumption, my own mind, my own projections which means that in practicality I am then going to be open to read/hear words without going into reaction, without already ‘preparing’ my artillery to shoot with a barrage of points that have nothing to do with what was initially said either, but to also keep it simple and ‘grow’ the conversation from there.

 

I commit myself to only reply to comments/written and spoken interactions when I have given myself a ‘moment of clarity’ which means when I have breathed and ensured that I am in fact stable, here, that I am taking responsibility for my initial reactions or starting point toward another, and so be more open, willing and available for genuine communication, ensuring I have no interference/noise as my own reactions preventing me from hearing/reading another unconditionally.

 

I commit myself to ‘take back to self’ any judgments I may had toward ‘others’ as ‘them being the attackers’ or ‘them being in a defense-mode’ as in fact, that would mean me reacting in ego towards ego – lol – so the best way to interact with another is to work with the common sense of looking at words themselves, no assumptions, rather asking what they in fact mean if the point is not clear, but generally not jumping into assumptions, not taking my own knowledge, my own ego into consideration when interacting with others, as that’s where the shifts happen and the divide and conquer mentality is re-created, wherein I perceive that another is ‘not the same as myself’ and so I have to ‘prove them wrong’ according to me, which is where the problem exists.

So I instead commit myself to focus on directing the words, the comments, the situation for what it is, devoid of past grudges, preconditioning, preprogramming of ‘how I deal with others that I perceive are attacking me’ as I then live the realization that the ‘attack’ only exists in my mind as memories and experiences that I create when I take another’s words personally or as ‘going against me’ which is the ego-starting point of reading/hearing another, when we ‘take it personally’ instead of realizing that each one’s words relate to oneself only, and so I take self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to in fact become a pillar of support for myself and others which means I cannot judge, I cannot avoid another or see them as ‘less than myself’ or as ‘ignorant’ but instead assist and support myself and others to transcend such limitations of the mind to work with what we have as our statements, see what we can agree upon and expand it from there, as Self Support.

 

So instead I am grateful that this point opened up so I could see what I was doing in this interaction and so be able to give it direction here for once and for all – so, thanks Tyler.

 

7.      Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

 

 

To learn more about taking responsibility for one’s mind, one’s reactions, please visit the following sites and join us in our endeavor too:


399. What is Missing in this World for Real Change?

The Necessity of Living by Principles

Throughout these past 6 and a half years I have embarked myself to understand more about the reality that I live in and that I most certainly was blinded from to be able to understand. Looking back and ‘putting the pieces together’ many of us – if not everyone and some simply don’t like to give ‘much thought’ into it – actually KNOW there is something profoundly wrong or ‘missing’ in our lives and this world. Yes, I also sought answers in some greater purpose, even in some divine and rather metaphysical concepts that I would simply hold on to because it remained as a comfortable lie that I ‘made sense of’ because it was comfortable and really not that challenging either, it was all about waiting and hoping in fact. But, the reality is that this was all the knowledge trap covered at all ‘fronts’ in the reality we live in to not EVER look in the most obvious place, the one that has always been here and that we have blatantly missed while ‘seeking truths’ or ‘seeking ourselves’ out there somewhere else: ourselves.

We are in fact living in a crucial time in our lives where the truth is being revealed behind the Veils to genuinely see the principle that has ruled us all thus far: Evil as the reverse of LIFE. I understand this might be rather an uncomfortable truth but for me it was actually the most supporting thing I could ever do, to be willing to understand that our actual nature as human beings is not that of benevolence, dignity, integrity, solidarity, love or else – and we have the blatant proof of that which is our world which we tend to reduce to a power-hunger game missing out the clue of where it all started in the first place, which is within ourselves, our very nature from which the rest of the world-system as we know it and the way we have enslaved each other to be masters and slaves has in fact emerged from: our own necessity to be controlled and to have such controllers, just because we have abdicated our power all along.

Throughout this process I have worked with – and continue to work on – being able to uncover/dis-cover my true potential that I had sedated and suppressed within personalities, ideas, beliefs of myself of which now I can look back and understand why so many of us still fear to ‘come to the front’ and speak up. Well, for reference of that you can read this blog site you’re on at the moment, I can only briefly say that there’s a massive de-brainwashing to be done in order for us to genuinely start recognizing the Power we all have and yes, ‘power’ as in our ABILITY and CAPACITY to direct ourselves to precisely ‘be the change that we want to see in the world’ which is not a positive-thinking mentality, this IS the Actual Process that it will take for us to genuinely change the foundation of the current ‘world-system’ that we see so ‘far’ from ourselves, not realizing that its very foundation exists/relies and solely exists in the intricacy of every single Though, Emotion and Feeling participation wherein we Allow ourselves to be Governed by the MIND, which is a preprogrammed Consciousness system in which we have only existed as fuzzy-logic survival-mode organic robots from which we have always only learned how to equate our OWN benefit and survival – but never ever learned how to genuinely start consider HOW we affect others with our decisions, our actions, our thoughts.

 

We have beseeched for ‘clues’ for ‘saviors,’ for a ‘good president’ to come and be our MESSiah, well, yes we have gotten ourselves only further down the rabbit hole because we haven’t yet understood one very basic principle: this world wasn’t founded upon the mercy of any god, it is actually ruled by our collective irresponsible ways that have created the reverse of life and as such it is to understand that: Nothing will change unless, I Change, unless We All make a stand and Change within ourselves and so the change in the without will be an outflow of this starting point which is Self-Change.

This is how we bring it all Back to Self and see, ok so what have we been Missing all along? What have we been Dissing all along? Living Principles – look at our culture! It’s plagued with vices, violence, revering death and destruction, consumerism, laziness, apathy, insanity, greed, power, sexual depravity, psychological abuse and the initiation of children to this great Consumerist CULTure wherein we have done everything but learning and fomenting ways of how to Honor ourselves as Living Beings –  that is Nowhere to be found!  not within parental education, in schools, in media, in arts, in politics, in religion, nowhere! Everywhere we have tainted ourselves with the same ILLusions of feelings as benevolence, feeling ‘good’ for doing some charities or believing that to Love Humanity means to ‘wish well’ for everyone, without even realizing why we have had the need to create such words as Love that imply only a fluttering experience in your stomach as a sign that Energy is all that we have in fact become within ourselves and toward another – but not life.

Everywhere I have researched and sought for answers, for a genuine structure of change I only have found further polarized solutions like thinking positively all day and deny ‘all the bad’ in your mind, seeking revenge to ‘the powers that be,’ changing personalities, doing some charity work here and there, be all nice and smiley and hope for better times to come or accept reality ‘as is’…. well, seriously, where are we pretending to get ourselves with that? Nowhere, of course as it’s all based on characters, ideas, self-presentations of ‘who we are’ toward OTHERS and so once again, missing out Who? Ourselves.

We require to have the actual guts and courage to develop some self-honesty along with having a directive structure and understanding of how it is that through one individual making a decision to stand AS and be Consistent and Congruent on the decision to Live by Principles, we become an Actual Revolution in this world, one that has Never existed before because we have always sought ‘solutions’ in the pre-fabricated Hegelian mentality of Thesis-Antithesis and creating the marvelous polarized and prefabricated upgrade of Synthesis. This has been our problem, still thinking within the same MIND-Construct and framework with which we have Created the problems in the same place.

Time to get OUT of the BOX as that’s where the illusion exists, that’s where we are governed by ideas, beliefs, fears, feelings and emotions, history, world-system constructs that we have obediently followed to the T out of fear.

Thinking OUT of the Box implies Living by Principles, doing exactly what you won’t see advertised on the TV, what Isn’t a ‘fashionable trend’ in the media and entertainment,, what would make you feel deeply uncomfortable in the first phases of implementing this as it IS in fact about getting out of our comfort zone, out of the comfort of fears, of resistance to change, or fearing to actually have to step Out of the Box  where we have become obedient slaves and have come to adore as our prison, our own mind – Nothing and no one else but ourselves will cure our Stockholm Syndrome but ourselves.

So, this is why I have decided to walk the process of Living by Principles, where I have come to realize that I must ‘search no further’ for answers, but that the answer exists and resides within me, within the volition to actually become the point of change I sought outside of myself.

Hereby I commit myself to live by the following principles that represent me and many more around the world that have taken this oath to themselves in Equality, as the necessity of recognizing our actual power and so living it for the benefit of everyone in this world and existence, in Equality AS Life.

 

Join us if you agree it’s about time we Think Outside The Box

 

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The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

1.       Realizing and living my utmost potential

2.       Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3.       Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4.       Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realizing I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I Take Responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6.       Realizing that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment  and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7.       Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be Self Honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8.       With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as I would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9.       Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honor and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10.    Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11.    No one can save you, save yourself – the realization that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12.    Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realize I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realization that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13.    Honoring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of Earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14.    Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15.    Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honor, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16.    Realizing that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17.    I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my Living Actions, become a Living Example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realize how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18.    I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this Living World.

19.    Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realizing it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20.    Realizing that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honor, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21.    We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realize this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22.    The realization that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23.    The realization that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

 

Stop Waiting

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility for ourselves and so become the foundation for a new world in Equality.


377. What is a Real Democracy?

“…for men change their rulers willingly, hoping to better themselves, and this hope induces them to take up arms against him who rules: wherein they are deceived, because they afterwards find by experience they have gone from bad to worse. This follows also on another natural and common necessity, which always causes a new prince to burden those who have submitted to him with his soldiery and with infinite other hardships which he must put upon his new acquisition.” – Niccolò Machiavelli

 

How many times have we criticized a politician or a person in any place of authority for not ‘sticking to their word’ and breaking whichever promise or commitment they said they would live out and apply under their rule as the representation of the people? Many times, in fact it has become the way to present the idea that we are ‘wise enough’ to understand that ‘we are being duped’ and how this is all ‘being done unto us’ without realizing that in this victimized state one establishes the immediate denial of self-responsibility and inverts it into a point of blame as if they had some godly powers to solve this reality’s problems, which are in fact created individually by each one of us.

 

See how we have conferred and justified this gigantic responsibility of solving the world’s problems to a few individuals that we believe that we are doing a favor to by voting for them to take a position of god/authority over everything and everyone in a particular nation or institution. Within this, we believe that anything that they do wrong is then a point of abuse and we have the right to despise and ask them to ‘pay for their crimes against humanity.’ essentially going from the initial ‘love’ as expectations of change, progress and honesty to ‘hate’ as the disillusion and disappointment that emerges when something or someone doesn’t meet our expectations – but:

Why and How are we expecting, waiting, wanting others to do the work that we all should do as a matter of self-integrity and responsibility?

 

Unless we understand this, we will continue ‘fighting the powers that be’ and believing that ‘a change of powers’ is what’s required in this world, instead of realizing that the way to dissolve any form of abuse is to dissolve the illusion of such power and its structural legitimized form through only voting in ‘democratic elections’ to choose our leaders, without even questioning why such positions in society exist.

 

Affirmations

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever criticize, denigrate, point fingers at and call the people that are in positions of ‘power’ out as in governments or corporations, heads of institutions for not ‘sticking to their word’ and their oath to contribute to everyone’s well being, without realizing that the sheer contract they are signing up for as a ‘position of power’ is already in itself an imposition of a position that creates abuse – because for some to be ‘on top’ some must be ‘below’ – and as such a public consent and permission to rule over others, which is in itself a violation of the law of life in equality since there can be no ‘higher ranks’ in the physicality that we all exist as in reality, there is no ‘hierarchy’ within who we are as human beings of flesh and bones and as such, all of the formation of the hierarchical structures exists only within who we are and have become in and as the mind

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to point fingers at, criticize, blame, denigrate or call names to the people in ‘power’ that didn’t stick to their promises through for example a political campaign and in fact end up doing the exact opposite of what they had promised, not realizing that the position of power in itself is deception and a point of abuse with public consent, and how once the contract is signed, the position of allowing one individual to have the ultimate say upon millions of lives while being a collectively accepted delusion that we have only learned how to complain about, instead of realizing that for genuine change in this world, we have to stop ceasing to exist within the belief that we can only progress as humanity if we have a good president/ good people in authority and within that, confiding our self responsibility to one/a few individuals

I realize that the solutions to the problems we face are the outflows of what we have done and/or neglected to do at an individual level.

I realize there is no way in which one or a few individuals can solve the inherent problems within the system that is not only existing as the ‘power structure’ and ‘hierarchical orders’ we have accepted and allowed to exist as ruling powers in our societies, but it is existent within each one of us, individually the moment that we believe that our lives are in the hands of those in governments/positions of power, no different to how we had believed in a god to be taken care of each one of us and delegating all responsibility to a ‘higher power/higher being’ to solve the problems that we individually create and consequent every single day of our lives.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I have criticized presidents and people in power for ‘not sticking to their promises’ of what they said they would do and in the end didn’t do, without realizing that I have done exactly the same when saying that I will do/say/act on/change something and eventually don’t do it, wherein my situation is then no different to any other ‘person in power’ that one has placed any form of trust and expectancy upon to ‘do the work for us’ as if it was Their responsibility to take care of our own personal lives, which has never been in fact so because it Shouldn’t be that way to begin with.

I realize that the only way that we will be able to properly function as society is when the idea of something or someone having ‘more power’ than the rest ceases to exist, because then we will no longer be able to point fingers at/ blame/ justify our own abdication of responsibility, but will have to actually take care of our own lives, ourselves as it always should have been.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the existence of ‘power’ defined through a hierarchical structure in society is the acceptance of abuse in a legitimate way, because not even through so-called democratic processes can we confer all our responsibility to one single individual we directly vote on, and as such the real meaning of democracy is not understood yet – 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and think of Democracy as yet another electoral process only implying ‘one man, one vote’ to get one individual in a position of power as in government/ directive positions of authority, without realizing that Democracy as the actual Power of The People is in fact the individual ability to respond and take care of our own lives in the consideration of what is best for all, wherein ‘power’ only means the ability to move, to direct, to  operate and function as a living organism that we are as society, wherein each one of us becomes one single cell that is equally important and equally relevant within the functioning of the whole as the social organism we are.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever accepted the idea of any individual being ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ to myself according to the hierarchical structure that exists at an unconscious level in each one of us, wherein the foundation of our current social, economic and political systems resides, where we haven’t yet realized how these structures exist only for the sake of keeping control through fear,  and allowing ourselves to be directed with the excuse of ‘knowing better’ on how to direct entire populations through politics, economics, education, media – just because we have accepted and allowed ourselves to abdicate our responsibility to our own lives and along with this, be misinformed, uneducated and believe ourselves to be powerless to know how the system operates, to learn the necessary practical knowledge to implement an equally-empowered structural organization in society, because we simply accepted the fact that there were only a few individuals that were meant to be educated in specialized elite schools to become our leaders, and the rest to become followers and as such, having little to no access to the information and support to develop the ability of self-leadership and self-governance.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever take a person in power’s position as real and personal, meaning making of the individual an actual evil, bad, mean, greedy, psychopathic person, without realizing that every time that I also do not act according to what I say I would do and live by, every time that I am moved by self interest to satisfy an experience in the mind instead of doing that which supports me as what is best for all, whenever I expect others to take responsibility for what I see is my responsibility to take care of it, I am living out the exact same patterns that any person in any position of power stands in, because we are all human beings and all that is different is the context in which they exist – yet myself at an individual level contributes and represents that one point that makes the nature of this entire system as self-abuse, which is thus reflecting back to ourselves who we really are in our own minds and personal lives.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that some other individuals have to be specialized in understanding how ‘the system operates’ and that I had nothing to do with it, but that one pays them through taxes to ‘do the work’ that we are and have been unable to conduct ourselves, within this using the saying of ‘give as you would like to receive’ in self interest to abdicate self responsibility, giving money  in taxes, giving our ‘vote’ as preference for one or few individuals to do the work that we haven’t realized must be our own individual point of self-responsibility to conduct ourselves by in our lives.

I realize that the equation we have done with money is of the absolute legitimization of corruption and abuse within the existence of money itself, which makes the act of ‘corruption’ just a redundancy that is tacitly implied in the existence of our monetary systems, our value systems and world-system in itself wherein hierarchy as power is no different to the power that we currently have given to money: it only exists as the collective agreement to abuse and have power over reality with no direct reference to physical reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the power of people in ruling and leading classes within our social hierarchical structures was legitimate because of being voted by the people, without realizing that this power is no different to the consent we believe we have given to the creation of money as debt, in essence as a pyramid scheme represented as our hierarchical structure wherein we have always bowed down to those that ‘have more/ are in positions of power’ and within that establishing the acceptance of inferiority and self victimization.

I realize that we have become subject to and trapped in our own beliefs of inferiority and ‘power-lessness’ without seeing and realizing that such power we ‘gave away’ is not real in fact since there is no physical power transferred but in the form of money – currently being a collective acceptance of abuse over life – and in the form of not doing and not taking care of everything that will be ‘taken care of’ by those that we vote for to be doing what we have abdicated ourselves to do.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify the ‘ills’ and ‘problems’ in society through saying that ‘it is because of the government/ it’s a systematic problem’ without realizing that this it is in fact what we accept and allow to exist in our own minds individually, which then becomes a problem that is hard to solve by one or a few individuals or an entire political structure, if the individual responsibility within it all is not realized.

 

When and as I see myself denigrating, backchatting, cursing at or having thoughts about what a political or corporate leader is doing as a consequential outflow to ourselves in our society, I stop and I breathe – I realize that each individual human being in this world being in a ‘leadership’ position represents the abdication of our self-responsibility and actual political power as the direction of our own lives that we have neglected to take care of, and as such making it a few individual’s responsibility within a structure of disempowerment as hierarchical orders in society.

I realize that whatever ‘they do’ is only an outflow of the inequality in responsibility that we have created, accepted and allowed in our world – therefore instead of blaming and judging and opposing others, I take the point back to myself and ensure that I begin living by the principles of self-honesty, beginning with actually doing what I say I will do, considering what is best for all at all times and in that seeing that my responsibility to my own life to live in integrity and self-honesty means the foundation of a new society that we can create individual by individual until we realize that we do not require one single individual to be in such a position of ‘power’ and leadership, but instead become the embodiment of self-governance, self-leadership, having the ability to always decide and do what is best for all and as such, no more hierarchical powers to conduct our society will be required, for we will be living the actual ‘power of the people’ as a genuine Democracy that exists at an individual level of living self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to realize that genuine democracy is not ‘choosing a person to be in office through one man, one vote’ only, realizing that such vote is not merely crossing a paper in election day, but actually becoming a self-responsible individual that understands that each one of us taking responsibility for ourselves creates a genuine democracy as each  individual stands in self-honesty and considering at all times what is best for all.

 

A real democracy is the individual ability to direct oneself in self-responsibility and consideration of equal rights and equal responsibilities,  living together in a way that is best for all. The real ‘power of the people’ cannot be represented, it must be individually and practically lived and applied.

 

MLK

 

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376. What is the Living Income Guaranteed?

 

 Living Income Guaranteed is an economic and political mechanism to ensure the establishment of Fundamental Human Birth Rights of the public through allocating an allowance on a monthly basis to every eligible individual that is currently in a position of being unable to sustain themselves – and/or people in their custody – financially to a level that Human Dignity deserves and that currently lack such support due to reasons beyond their immediate control including – but not limited to – unemployment, lacking access to food, lacking access to housing, lacking access to healthcare, lacking access to education, physical disability, being retired or not old enough to have a job.

This is within the understanding that the existence of poverty and lack of education as the key to have a job and means to live is the result and outflow of the economic system’s malfunction, providing an unfair allocation of National Natural Resources, being unable to support every living individual with sufficient access to fundamental living necessities. The most immediate remedy is to eradicate poverty, through allocating/designating a monthly allowance to those that don’t have access to their fundamental living necessities, thereby empowering them to establish a dignified life, enabling each one to reach their potential, choose a career and contribute to the economy through their skill, labour and purchasing power.

 

Why is it called Living Income instead of Basic Income?

It is called ‘Living Income’ because it won’t only provide each one with the minimum required to survive, it implies sufficient allowance that is able to cover the fundamental expenses required for a dignified living Why? Because this will enable people to reach their creative potential, return to the job market, become independent from the Living Income and contribute to the progression of the economy.

This means that a Living Income Guaranteed should be provided to all individuals that are currently unable to participate in any economic activity due to the lack of jobs/education/health. However those that don’t participate in any economic activity but do have sufficient money to live due to, for example, family wealth, inheritance or any other regular income won’t qualify nor require the Living Income Guaranteed.

 

 

Why is Living Income Guaranteed Not Unconditional?

The reason why it is not given to all people unconditionally is because this would undermine the sustainability of an economic system that does require people to be motivated to educate themselves and work to enable the continuation and functionality of our societies.

 

 

That means that people that work won’t get the Living Income Guaranteed?

That’s right, however we Do propose that the Minimum Wage is Doubled (twice the Living Income Allowance), which means that there will be a series of reforms to take place first to make the Living Income Guaranteed a sufficient Allowance granted to cover fundamental living necessities, which is within the context of our current economy More than our current Minimum Wage standards.

This allowance should be sufficient for an individual to have dignified living conditions with guaranteed access to their fundamental human birth rights: Food, Water, Housing, Healthcare, Education, Clothing, Transportation, Public Services, etc.

Now to motivate people to work, the new minimum wage should be Double the Living Income Guaranteed in the most common economic activities which are at the moment associated with retail workers, waiters, cashiers, transportation workers, fast food industries, etc..

So, anyone that genuinely wants to have a top quality lifestyle will not conform to only getting the minimum as the Living Income, but continue educating themselves, developing further skills to make more money and have more financial solvency.

 

 

What’s in it for the corporations with implementing the Living Income Guaranteed model?

A broader consumer base. Those that previously had no money to live and as such were not economically active will suddenly become active participants in the economy which will ensure that profit is also broadened for corporations, realizing that if more buyers emerge, there will be more profit that can be used to better the working conditions, to diminish the compulsive production and instead adapt the prices to make things affordable, with great quality and providing a secure and harmonious working base, as well as proceeding to fund the automation of jobs that are currently deteriorating human health.

Workers will feel supported and cared for by their employers, which will result in individuals that no longer feel pressured and enforced to only be a profit-making machine, but will feel happy and content to realize that their work is being truly remunerated and that their time and contribution to the corporation is being valued as the life-time investment it actually is. A well remunerated individual will create a happier and fulfilled society that is no longer afraid of not having sufficient money to feed their family, it will be the beginning of a new era of quality work that dignifies the lives of human beings that genuinely desire to improve their lifestyles.

 

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Why is the implementation of a Living Income Guaranteed an immediate solution to the economic crisis?

More than a solution to a crisis, it should be understood as the way to guarantee that the Fundamental Human Rights to each individual are properly funded through allocating an Allowance as the access to the necessary things one requires to live in a dignified way – this is within the principle of Giving to others what we would like to receive, and if we want to live in a peaceful society, to have a happy and healthy living condition, we then must give access to this Allowance/Income as a living certainty that will eradicate the need to resort to crime, panhandling, homelessness, lacking education, health care that results in economical regression affecting every individual in society.

It is common sense that if we give an Allowance to every eligible individual to be well nourished, have proper living conditions with the fundamental necessary services, health care and leisure time, more educated beings will emerge from this when realizing that if one is given support as in getting an income to cover one’s living necessities, one learns how to give back to society too. This will be understood as a living principle that applies to every living being on Earth beyond any political, social, religious or ideological affiliation. We’re talking about physical living necessities that all human beings require to live in a dignified and sustainable way.

On top of this, many jobs are being replaced by the rise of the machine, which will require more restructuring processes in our economy to finally upgrade the premise of being able to ‘make a living by having a job’ because if jobs are currently not available to all – regardless of having college degrees and necessary skills to have one – then it is certain that a new understanding of our economy should be grasped as supportive mechanism for all individuals rather than a restrictive and coercive one.

In the past, long-term policies and treaties have attempted to benefit the working class over time, and it has proven to be inefficient for the tightening policies implemented by corporations as well as the economic outflows have deviated their effectiveness. This is how through a direct intervention to provide the Living Income as an Allowance and doubling of the minimum wage, we are directing the problem at the root, instead of expecting third party actors and policies to solve the situation throughout time.

 

 

Will the Living Income Guaranteed undermine competition and as such create economic stagnation in society?

Not at all, actually it’s the other way around. If we define competition as the ability achieve the best living condition in a society, by allocating Allowance to every eligible individual that previously had no access to it, we assure the activation of the economy and impulse people to work if they do want to have a greater economic solvency to cover other consumer desires for extra commodities that are not able to be paid for with the Living Income Guaranteed. Also, there is no limit to how much money you or corporations can make as long as their businesses do not interfere in any way with the nationalization of natural resources or fundamental public services – that is the condition. That means that the rules of a free market still apply and as such, the only constitutional and governmental management will be to supervise the implementation of the Living Income Guaranteed, as well as conducting the usual maintenance, management and provision of public goods and the justice department.

 

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The more you prepare yourself, the better work you’ll have, the more benefits which means you will earn more money as well. Competition means bettering oneself to perform a certain activity the best way one can and this is an essential part of human nature  that has kept our societies remaining competitive, innovative and creative  at a local and global level.

You will also be able to truly have free choice on which work is best for you instead of engaging in working contracts based on need rather than preference or choice. This is the way to implement a real ethical environment at work too, where no more exploitation occurs since any job won’t be the result of a need to work in order to survive, but rather become a means and incentive to increase the quality of life.

 

 

How will it be funded?

Through the nationalization of resources , banks and basic services which means that if, for example, your oil, gas, water, electricity, telecommunications ,transportation is defined as patrimony of the people, the profit that comes from the consumption/purchase of such goods and services should be sufficient to fund the Living Income Guaranteed for eligible individuals. This means there will be no need to have personal taxation but instead keep the VAT (Value Added Tax) as it is to continue funding the functions of the government – this is also within the consideration that as the purchasing power increases and consumer base broadens, the funds coming from VAT will also increase creating more solvency in governmental budget as well, which translates to higher quality public welfare.

Thus with the Living Income Guaranteed there is one thing that is of vital importance: no one in the system, no citizen will pay tax – all tax will be facilitated by either value added tax or sales tax or import duties. If you have a government system that is responsible because you have a system where each one is functioning effectively within the system, you do not need excessive tax; your tax is spent on things like roadwork, transport facilitation – all things that can be handled ‘in house’.

One of the things that can work quite effectively also in a country is to have a toll tax on the roads which are managed by the government and that keeps the roads in place, so according to the use that one has of a road = will be the amount of tax you pay, but there will be in this proposal no income tax, so nobody is going to pay for anyone’s Living Income Guaranteed, it’s coming from the resource companies which everybody in the country are participating in and your sales tax or your value added tax will be according to the amount of your participation within a particular system – this is a fair way of dealing with government tax collection.

This is how the distribution of wealth and profits is expanded onto those that would have no benefit from the commercialization of natural resources and basic services, and due to the constant consumption and requirement of these, it is ensured that the foundation of the Living Income Guaranteed will always remain sustainable and have sufficient funds to cover the beneficiaries’ expenses.

Another example is how through stopping allocating money to fund wars, the trillions of dollars that are spent in the warfare industry can be designated to revitalize the economy through funding the Living Income Guaranteed and supporting the health care, education, commerce, production industries and basic services that require to be improved at home.

 

 

Will Public Services also be Nationalized?

Health care, education, water, electricity, telecommunications, media, banks will also be nationalized. Each country will have to assess their available resources in order for the government to make sufficient profit to fund the Living Income Guaranteed.

 

 

How can we implement the Living Income Guaranteed?

Through a political proposal, through existing or new political parties that have this mechanism as their key card to gain the majority vote to have our Fundamental Human Rights guaranteed through the Living Income Guaranteed. This means that the right to a Living Income must be granted on a constitutional basis – this is a national-based system constituted at a political level and able to be voted on within a democratic process based on the principle of one man, one vote.

 LIG Hong Kong


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