Category Archives: living potential

543. Living Simplicity

Or how to step out of a complex mindset and over-wrought approaches towards life

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

Before I dive into the word to look at today, I’d like to reflect on what this process of making a list of all the points that I have separated from myself and turned into an ‘attraction’ towards someone else has been for me in the sense of realizing that, what I ‘see’ in another comes from how I see and perceive another, and it’s not of course necessarily something that the other person ‘is’ in fact, but what I am able to see and define, which is ultimately about myself.

And that’s also why upon reflecting on each word I’ve opened up in these blogs, I’ve seen how they are actually key aspects to ground myself on and kind of assert my expression within those words that I considered I was ‘lacking’ within me. This realization was opened up when I listened to a very interesting process shared in this Eqafe interview today where an individual speaks of comparing themselves to someone else and seeing aspects in another that they believe they lack, instead of realizing that all of these ‘points’ or ‘expressions’ are actually identified and so originating from the person himself, meaning it is not about ‘the other’ person he’s comparing himself at all, which was another way to confirm what I’ve been seeing emerge throughout this exploration on these words.

So, simplicity is a word that I’ve learned to consider in my life mostly from walking this Desteni Process. The way that I am ‘wired’ to be is to be very elaborate, writing too many words, describing too much – even in my art it definitely would come off as being ‘all over the place’ which would lead me to at times envy the ability that others had to create very simple things yet be quite expressive at the same time and this extends to types of personalities that are ‘of few words’ so to speak but saying a lot with less. Here I’m still talking in personality/traits terms.

Some years ago I definitely tended to be operating on an ‘horroris vacui’ type of personality, which means constantly thinking, filling the gaps everywhere I could and this is a literal consideration also when it came to decoration – still working on it, lol – and at a mental level, I have tended to avoid the simplicity of silence, of simply ‘being here’ in the presence of others but not having to constantly ‘be interacting.’

When it comes to myself and who I was, I definitely could not be ‘keeping it simple’ because I was constantly ‘searching for something,’ existing in almost an ‘anxious’ drive to be analyzing, thinking, creating my own theories about life and why we’re here, believing that the more complex I was, the more I was reaching out to some kind of ‘higher understanding’ about life, and that the more I studied or acquired certain information, the closer to my ‘wholiness’ I would be – lol. This led me to also be quite ‘jumpy’ and sometimes getting ahead of myself, being quite emotional at times in my day to day, very much driven by the ‘highs and lows’ that I could face in my life and being in essence ‘blown around like a leaf in the wind’ and believing that my whole life was subject to some ‘higher path’ that I had no direction on, therefore I had to get into all kinds of knowledge and information as philosophies, religions, spirituality movements and anything else I could use in order to find some kind of ‘ultimate truth’ that I could rely on for the rest of my life.

Even in my personal presentation or ‘style’ so to speak, from how I surrounded myself of things in my environment, to all the stuff I would wear as ornaments, to the kind of clothes I used to wear, it was all very much ‘over done’ at times, which is simply a reflection nowadays where I away more simpler approach that I feel quite comfortable with – for now, lol – but it’s cool to see how I could not see myself being ‘the same’ as I used to look like, act like, think like some 10 years ago when I was at the height of this ‘unquenchable thirst’ to get somewhere meaningful in my life through complex methods and over-the-top routes.

All of that came to a slow but sure calmed down stance when I started applying myself within this process in Desteni, getting to know who I really am behind all of that ‘over-wrought’ version of myself and starting to understand the meaning of the ever present and famous Desteni quote said by Bernard Poolman of ‘Simplicity is the Key’ – and this word right there ‘simplicity’ was quite a revolutionary concept in my life, because I had truly considered that it all had to be the other way around: the more complex, the more accumulation of information, the more intertwining of information it would mean ‘better outcomes’ or ‘having a more solid understanding of reality’ – but I’ve come to realize for myself that this is not actually so.

Here another great quote applies which I also hold close to my heart: ‘Knowledge without Application is Useless’ which allowed me to see how much I was ‘layering’ myself with all kinds of data and information that wasn’t really necessary in order for me to learn how to live and develop common sense and get to create the person that I’d like to become and contribute back to life and what’s best for all this way.

I’ll share some examples here of some references I’ve taken on with me as the word simplicity.

When I look at the word simplicity, what comes to mind is the simplicity of life that I got to experience while living at the Desteni Farm for one year 8 years ago, where I was out of my usual environment and the city life and the rest of ‘complexities’ that usually surrounded me and learned to appreciate the simplicity of farm life, to get used to a ‘slower’ pace in life, to be less concerned with how I look and dress and all the personality masks I’d place upon and instead focus on working with my hands and body to create stuff, to learn from people around there, learn to forge this new phase of my life by having people around me that were living the definition of ‘simple lives,’ which to me was life changing and life-impressing which I took on as a way to appreciate the simple things in life and not requiring all the  ‘stuff’ around me to be ok or doing ‘things out there’ to be able to enjoy life and a moment, it really was quite a challenge for me to slow down and learn to ‘smell the flowers’ really, and still it is something I have to actively remind myself of and so I constantly reference myself back to that time as a reminder of ‘slowing down, taking it easy, live in simplicity.’

Another word that comes up when looking at the word ‘simplicity’ is common sense, because this is the way in which I’ve learned to assess virtually anything that I’ve faced in my life wherein I would usually tend to over-complicate myself with potentials, over analyzing, scrutinizing, judging, being uncertain, doubtful, apprehensive about things and through this process and learning to apply common sense to any situation, life simplifies a lot, because it all boils down to self-creation, self-responsibility, self-honesty and using the tools of self-forgiveness and self-writing in order to solve, create solutions, develop ways and methods to create solutions, to see other ways in which we can make something work.

Common sense is not something taught in schools and it’s definitely not logic – I’ve written a blog on that so you can check it out for reference – yet it is the simplest way of approaching life, and this has translated into a complete change in my approach towards my life and the usual ‘issues’ and points we have to face and all of the outcomes and consequences in this reality. There’s a lot compressed in this sentence according to what I’ve walked, realized, changed, applied, learned from but I consider that this entire blog site is a proof of that application of common sense learned through the Desteni perspective and specifically first hand from Bernard Poolman.

Now, one of the distinctive aspects that I see I’ve been able to see this simplicity as myself more noticeably as a change within me is where I used to be a person that was constantly like in ‘waiting’ mode or ‘seeking’ some kind of stimulation, experience, some ‘sign’ for me to do or move or create something. This ultimately created a complete separation from my ability to be directive, to take initiative, to take the first steps to be or do something.

This also relates to an outflow of generally slowing down in my mind and getting to be more ‘here’ or grounded in my physical body as a result of applying the Desteni tools, one gets to see that there’s no more ‘chaos’ going on all the time, there are no more rollercoaster rides and life simplifies a lot in that way, there’s no more confusion or ‘greater questionings’ but simply directing myself to do what I need to do, being breathing and learning to be content in that simplicity, which is actually a physical marvel that I was just reflecting, I know so little of, yet grateful to be existing as this physical body and being able to be here alive and sharing this.

And if something happens in my reality that completely takes me by surprise, I can still direct myself to slow down, see what is needed to be done and even if the situation might trigger reactions, I can work with it and be more settled and grounded within it all, because I simplify the points I have – and can – work with as my responsibility, so that also simplifies the way I approach and look at things and outcomes in my reality.

Currently from the space that I live in and how it looks to the way that I look at life, to the things that I occupy myself on, to the plans that I have, they all start simple and remind myself of this humbleness required to ‘start small, start simple’ in any point of change or plan I want to take on in my life, considering there’s also that tendency to want to go ‘over the top’ on something and that usually makes things too complicated.

This has been a great learning process for me in my life, to not attempt to kind of ‘engulf’ or ‘eat the world’ in one go, lol, even with this process wherein my initial approach was to ‘get it done as fast as possible’ until I dropped that expectation and made it simple by instead integrating this process as myself/my life, a constant in who I am – no distinction – therefore no longer seeking an ‘end’ to it, but seeing the end of this process with the end of my own life on Earth – and then another one will come but that’s not here so, I take it easy/simple by working with what’s here.

That’s also another great point to consider as simplicity, working with ‘one point at a time’ and ‘working with what’s here’ in our reality. I used to be the kind of person that thought of the world being on my shoulders and me having to be the kind of person that ‘saves everyone in it’ lol! So, yes this simplicity of self-responsibility and understanding my own role in it all has been supportive to instead of trying to focus on changing ‘the world out there’ I start with myself, start simple – and it’s easier said than done, but again, if one starts with one pattern, one habit, one set of thoughts we realize are not supportive, one kind of experiences that are preventing us from living to our utmost potential, then we get to understand how indeed, simplicity is the key in this process.

One challenge for me though is to be able to eventually – and this is a maybe, because who knows? – simplify my written expression lol! I am aware I write a lot and some people have made comments on my super-complex and very long sentences, and at times I’ve tried to ‘simplify’ them by not going into very ‘holistic’ considerations, yet they still come through. Maybe this is a point to simply not judge myself for and simply learn to fine tune as I continue writing and so ‘keep it simple’ in the sense of not having to give ‘all the details’ all the time, but learning to share the core or essence of something in order for another person to also discover for themselves what that means in their own experience.

I also see that being laconic may not be the living definition of an approach of simplicity towards life, because a person can express ‘few words’ but be constantly busy inside themselves. So I have to learn also to not create an assumption of ‘less is more’ in that sense, because ultimately it’s not only about what we show or express towards others, but how we express, live, see, approach life within ourselves in every moment. So, it all goes back to ‘who we are’ in whatever we are, do or create – not necessarily how something ‘looks like’ or sounds like or seems like, and that’s self-honesty: we are the only ones that can really know whether we are living a word or not.

What I see as a life changing approach within living simplicity is precisely on my overall new approach to life, which for a lack of a better expression is like a gust of wind that one can create for oneself whenever we start ‘over-boiling’ our thoughts or experiences and realize that we are getting too ‘dense’ and ‘complex’ and need to cool down, slow down, look at the bits instead of trying to fit ‘the whole picture’ in one go – and that’s precisely where this word simplicity comes handy as a reminder of not making something ‘more’ in our minds than it actually is, remembering to take it easy, to slow down, to breathe, to take a moment to ‘smell the flowers’ and appreciate the simplicity of life happening around us while we are ‘busy up there’ in our minds, a life that can be a quieter one inside us even when being in the midst of the busiest environments, of learning to more immediately see and devise solutions, instead of going into complex ways and experiences that obfuscate us from seeing or resourcing simple solutions we can apply and live in those moments.

Ultimately Life is very simple, it is ourselves in our minds that makes it complex, so here again a relevant reminder forever: Simplicity is the Key 🙂

Thanks for reading

 

“Understand that the same decision and dedication that created this world this way is the same dedication that will change this world –no one will do more than what they do now–it will just be in reverse–instead of a world of inequality, it will be a world of equality– grasp this simplicity” 

Bernard Poolman 

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


541. Creativity and Self-Creation

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

This word right here is ‘close to my heart’ so to speak considering how I have previously conceived creativity in a rather limited way, linking it to artistic skills for the most part and traits within myself and others that would be geared towards expressing oneself in any form of art or doing something ingenious, witty or clever that serves a practical purpose.

However throughout this process with walking the tools of self-support at Desteni, I’ve learned to understand the actual depth of who we are as creators, created and creation, which might sound a bit too ‘out there’ initially – and it certainly does require a vast context that one can find support to walk through step by step in several series that can be found at Eqafe.com. Here I’ll focus on debunking this limited perception of how I can at times still perceive that I can be separate from my ‘creative abilities’ by defining that only related to ‘doing original work’ or creating a particular trademark in relation to artistic creations, instead of realizing that these are all results, the byproduct of a much more intricate and personal self-process of understanding self-creation and the actual ability we have to determine our lives and so our destiny, not only in creating something ‘out there’ but as ourselves, identifying ourselves as our own creators too and honoring that creative ability in our lives.

Here I am therefore giving a step forward from my initial approach to this word as seen in relation to ‘liking another person for being creative’ and taking this word back to myself, to see who am I as this word and how I am living it, what needs to be fine-tuned and what I want to continue creating of myself and my life in the context of being an individual that can stand as an example of what it means to honor one’s creation and one’s contribution to the whole that we are all a part of.

Perceiving that we are not the sole creators of our lives leads to a sense of disempowerment, of ‘atrophy’ in believing that we are always subject to our weaknesses, our faults, our ‘human nature’ in which in my experience can show up at times being very quick to judge things or determine that something is not ‘good enough’ and get doubtful about myself and the totality of what I am doing in a moment, tending to compare myself to others or get impatient in this process of self-creation. All of these aspects are precisely the points that I have to continue working on and being detailed about, because whatever we eventually create and manifest not only as things we do or create in the external world, but every single thought, word and deed will be ultimately influenced by the very core of our being, who we are in every moment of our day = what we accept and allow to determine ourselves in our minds and so in our reality.

What does that mean? I’ve noticed that if I for example accept an experience of pointlessness or defeatism within something that I am doing, and believing that ‘there’s no point for it’ and lose my ground and initial vision to create something in my reality, I am quick to ‘give up’ on it and then judge it as something that ‘just isn’t for me’ and consider that there are ‘others that are better at it, but not me,’ resulting in separating myself from a particular capacity that I simply had to keep practicing and working on, but was very quick to give up to, meaning I didn’t live perseverance on it.

I discovered this when painting last year – which yes, certainly this is what might be considered a ‘formal creative activity’, but I’ve discovered that interestingly enough it is the one thing that had become a point I separated myself from due to reacting to what I was painting and drowning into judgments of pointlessness, dissatisfaction, lacking a purpose in it, ending up losing ground on what I was physically doing as the painting. The outcome? A painting that I was dissatisfied with and that I used as an excuse to say ‘I don’t want to paint anymore, this is useless, it’s futile, I’m done with this, I’m not good at it, there’s no point to it, I just give it up’

What I became aware of within that process is how I created my own outcome in relation to painting entirely through having allowed these judgments, thoughts that translated into emotions creeping up and completely directing myself in that moment as I was painting. I also realized that my very starting point for painting was flawed, because in that one day I was using painting as a way to evade my reality and a particular conflictive situation I was experiencing with someone in my reality, but not dealing with it in myself – so I essentially created my ‘sabotaged outcome’ when attempting to create something while I wasn’t stable within myself  or ‘at my core’ in that moment, and using painting as a way to ‘evade’ instead of being there and create as myself. 

So, who was I as creator in that moment? Evading myself first of all, believing I could create a better experience through painting and forgetting about the inner conflict in relation to something else in my reality. This created an outcome of recreating all of my weaknesses of the past and bringing them through in my act of painting charged with all of these judgments and inner-annoyance that I allowed within myself even before painting and it eventually outflowed into what I ended up painting.

The painting itself stood there for over a year as a reminder of something I left half way through and as a statement of ‘this is why I don’t want to go back to painting again,’ which I knew was unacceptable, but interestingly enough I also procrastinated getting back at it.

A month ago I took that same canvas and reworked it into a different outcome that I decided to experiment with, mostly to precisely in real time work on changing my relationship to painting itself, this time being aware of having a clear starting point, being stable and grounded within myself and my decision and ensuring that I wasn’t entertaining backchats and thoughts of how ‘terrible’ it was or how ‘pointless’ this was, but instead decided that: this is me directing myself to express in this painting, being flexible and open to the outcome of it, not having a fixed idea on it and walking through that resistance that I kept ‘alive’ within me for a year or so to not paint.

While having this clear starting point, of course the ‘usual doubts’ that I had experienced in the past emerged, the notions of ‘I should be doing something else’ and various other judgments, but I decided to continue doing it anyways, continuing directing, not focusing on the ‘result’ only but rather focusing on ‘who I am’ in this whole creative process. And this can stand as a good analogy to our lives where many times we can be very ‘result-based’ and if we don’t manage to create what we want, we drown into a low, a depression, a giving up – instead of rather seeing what can we learn about ourselves in the process of creating ourselves, what skills do we develop, what challenges can we identify and practically work on overcoming? All of this makes any creative process much more enjoyable where we don’t only focus on ‘a result in the future,’ but rather focus on who am I all the step of the way to get to do or become something, which is what matters in the context of life.

This example is a way to illustrate how we are the sole creators of ourselves. If I in that past moment of painting defined myself as not good enough, as having a ‘bad experience’ while painting, then of course the outcome became a reflection on that and I would resist painting after those few hours when I started that painting – and I ‘gave up’  even attempting to do something about it and instead made of my experience ‘who I am’ by letting everyone know how pointless it was to paint, how I am done with arts, how there’s no point to it – lol – now having to eat my words and forgive myself for it because I realized how it was a way of throwing a tantrum as a result of my own self-created sabotage. It was like deliberately cutting an arm off and then believing that “I’m fine without it” This is not only about arts though, but it can be applied to anything else in one’s life.

Another example can be where I go into judgment about an expression in another and remaining with that judgment about another, not questioning, not seeing it as something I actually must debunk within myself and align within myself in order to stand equal to that person – and what happens when I remain in that judgment is I am in fact diminishing my capacity to get to know that other person, to really live the word equality and create that relationship that I can essentially establish with anyone in this world if I decide to create it and nurture it, because it ultimately is our creation: we decide, we make the changes, we live the corrections, we walk the talk so to speak and there one goes.

One can walk through a veil of judgments and into getting to know a person for real, which I’ve personally have experienced various times where there was an initial judgment toward them and through self-forgiving and stopping my participation in those judgments within myself- along with time and in a deliberate decision to get to know them better – I’ve proven myself how much I had ‘made up my mind’ about them and all that I would have prevented myself from creating if I had remained in my mind-patterns.

Self-creation therefore can be as simple as deciding to make a change about a behavior or thought pattern in our lives, we determine it, we decide on it and we ‘give it life’ by integrating such change or point of creation in our day to day living, and that’s precisely what living words is all about as well, where these words won’t ‘come up’ like thoughts or backchat in our minds as a ‘natural flow’ or ‘desire’ even to live and create  – nope, we are unfortunately not hard-wired to live creation as life, we are mostly hard-wire to self-sabotage which is illustrated in what I shared about my relationship with arts and painting when I allowed myself to be dictated by my mind, instead of standing as the directive principle.

My current relationship to self-creation is thus a relationship of self-discovery, self-awareness and ultimately self-empowerment, which comes also with the understanding that in being responsible for all that I am and create, it also gives me that certainty that no matter ‘what’ I create – if I make mistakes, if I ‘fall’, if I go the ‘wrong route’ in my choices, decisions and actions – I can trust myself that I have my self-honesty to assess myself and so do the process with self-writing, self-forgiveness in self honesty, lay out the corrections and stand up again to continue walking.

There’s no excuse anymore to ‘give up’ on something based on a ‘bad experience’ with something, I can instead practically assess what is practical to do, what makes sense to change as well as what’s practical to dedicate my time, breath of life and effort to, to be the sole director of who am I day to day – that’s self-creation right there and accordingly, we also then determine ‘who we will be’ because this reality works in patterns, so we essentially can re-wire or re-write ourselves by imprinting new ways to live from morning to night time, we can decide how we look at our day: a day to create or a day to ‘relive the problems of the past’,  we can decide to be solution-oriented, to learn to live words in moments where we see the emotions or self-sabotage creep up, to make that decision to stand up and be directive in the moment – all of these moment to moment changes and decisions are already a point of self-creation and this is precisely what this process is all about.

So, we are all creative, we all create every single moment –for the good or for the worse – and realizing that ability we all are constantly exercising and learning to honor it and act as creators with integrity, with self-respect and regard to life can truly be the way to change the fabric of the relationships we create in this world.

Also, I remind my-self not to be discouraged if things don’t work as intended in terms of change in a few first set of times, it takes practice, it takes diligence, it takes focus, it takes dedication and a commitment to self, which are all words we have to also learn to practice, live and integrate into the fabric of our very being, considering that they are also not ‘natural’ aspects in ourselves for now, but they can become part of us with the same diligence and consistency one applies to learn or create anything in reality.

We live in a physical reality, so patience is very relevant, persevering is the actual word here to look at which is also a timely reminder for me, to not lose sight of what I create on a daily basis and always see it within the greater context as well of contributing to create and bring life into the physical through my day to day living.

Sounds great isn’t it? But it takes actual work to do, so my only suggestion is to consider this creative capacity we all have and decide who we want to be as artists creating ourselves as our own masterpiece, one that we will live with and embody for the rest of our lives.

Thanks for reading

 

Multiple Possibilities to Express

 

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539. Taking Life Seriously

 

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

A particular trait that I had also defined as ‘superior’ was the expression of seriousness within people linked to a particular intellectual character wherein both points – the characterization or ‘portrayal’ at a physical manner level plus all the ‘right words’ would usually lead me to feel intimidated or perceiving that I was ‘less than’ people that would present themselves as very articulate, stoic in their expression and most of all serious in their expression or communication, perceiving that this seriousness was something that I lacked – apparently – and that I would therefore only get to admire in others for the rest of my life.

Over the years of walking the Desteni Process, I’ve been able to slowly but surely debunk my own perceptions around this seriousness wherein I myself have embodied such seriousness as a way to cause a certain impact upon people in an attempt to say: look, I mean this for real, I care for this – which would at the same time then be more of a ‘show’ for others in my expression than me living seriousness in a supportive manner, and this I explain in a certain perspective in a vlog I made today here.

Here I want to check where I am in relation to this ‘seriousness’ and aligning it to what I want to live as an expression of ‘taking life seriously’ which doesn’t mean I have to keep a straight face all the time or act in a rigid and in a controlled manner, appear stoic and ‘motion-less’ or be overtly intellectual to be perceived by others as ‘me being a serious person.’ It is interesting how the definition of seriousness is mostly linked to this rigid expression which of course myself as a female, it became easy to associate this ‘seriousness’ mostly with males, which I have linked to a form of ‘physicality’ (which I’ll open up in a blog to come, a stability, confidence, grounding experience which I had separated myself from based on comparing my expression to that of males mostly, considering my bubbly and ‘flowy’ expression at times as a form of  weakness instead of simply embracing it as a part of my expression, no more or less than any other – so here again exposing the problem of going into comparison leading to an inevitable polarity of ‘more or less than’ which recreates consciousness-speak.  

So, here what I separated myself from is again a mind-experience related to ‘seriousness,’ a set of characteristics that are portrayed as a personality, a façade, a way of behaving or presenting oneself towards others, instead of actually living the word seriousness.

What does ‘taking life seriously’ mean to me? Essentially comprehending the role that each one of us have as creators of this reality and acting accordingly, which implies taking responsibility for our lives in our mind, being and body, learning to and applying ourselves to correct every aspect of our lives that we are the creators of and understand then the relevance each one of us has in this process of birthing life from the physical, in other words: taking seriously our role as ‘gods’ of our creation.

Here I want to specify how I’ve observed this within myself and other people that I’ve come to be in close contact with throughout my life wherein I would be intimidated or ‘in awe’ of certain people presenting themselves in this ‘serious’ character, yet when it comes to actually ‘walking the talk’ as in living the seriousness and intellect they might have had into a supportive manner, there was still quite a threshold and I could observe this within myself as well where I became more of a ‘show for others’ than fully grasping the actual capacity I had to live what I was preaching to the T and so genuinely take life seriously.

This assists me to debunk my own perceptions about what I’ve defined in me as a lack of ‘seriousness’ and instead now realize that I can assess for myself according to how I’ve lived, the decisions I’ve made and what I’ve committed myself to in order to define whether I am taking life seriously or not. I can self-honestly say yes based on the self-commitment I have, not to the utmost potential of ‘taking life seriously’ yet though, but I have a direction and set of ways to continue doing my part in whichever way I can to contribute to this living process from consciousness to self awareness as life.

I can therefore say that I have yet to fully embody taking my life seriously, but I understand and have walked in a consistent manner this practical learning process called life in self-awareness  of us being the creators of our lives, all of us being responsible for every action and consequence that has shaped our lives and that of others – understanding the scope of this existential process and at the same time understanding our role in it all.

Taking life seriously means participating in this process, being a life-birther so to speak not only in thoughts or eloquent speeches, but in who we are in our day to day actions, decisions, choices, ways of living, behaving, the kind of relationships we form with people, the kind of life we lead towards others and in our very own ‘secret mind’ – all of this is what reveals how serious we are with our own life and so life itself.

And because I cannot really ever measure or judge anyone as being serious or not about life, I can only live and do that for myself in my own life, and that’s what I commit to do, so that whenever I see I am being lax about the effect of my thoughts, words and actions in the constant and continuous process of co-creation in this reality, I have to ground myself back into taking life seriously and reminding myself that nothing that I participate for is ‘unaccounted for’ or ‘forgotten’ or ‘erased’ from the physical memory in this reality.

We have been existing into a seemingly ‘comfortable’ tunnel vision to understand the actual immediate co-creative abilities we have onto our reality with our very thoughts, words and deeds and their consequences of course as the proof of that, no matter how we may justify them or ‘paint’ them, we are all equal co-creators in this – yet, each one of us has the ability to decide what kind of creation process one gives life to, and the level of self-awareness that we have the potential to exist as vs. the level of awareness we ‘choose’ to blind ourselves with from our individual and collective responsibility to the whole.

So, here I commit to remind myself to not be impressed or intimidated by a personality that looks and sounds serious, eloquent, precise, meticulous, common sensical yet intellectual in nature, because this is where I need to always remind myself that as simple as it might sound: talk is cheap, words are ‘easy to say,’ they are ultimately just words, speeches – but Living Words is a whole different story. What we need is people actually living what we preach and this applies not only as an external ‘role’ or ‘profession’ for the world out there, but actually being so in one’s day to day.

Therefore, the point here is for me to be an example of what it means to take life seriously in my every thought, word and deed, wherein I commit to do what I set myself to be and do in the name of what’s best for all, where my life can stand as a testimony of what it means to ‘be the change you want to see in this world’ and do so without having to resort to the usual traits and personalities that may use ‘seriousness’ as a way to portray a form of superiority or ‘authority’ which many times – if not most – are not congruent in terms of ‘personal’ and ‘professional’ life.

That’s the divide I want to break here in my own life where I am not just someone that divides life and work in order to be ‘two separate beings’ that can take life seriously and not at the same time – no matter ‘what’ I do and where I am in the system, I commit myself to taking life seriously as in not being lax to my own application of self-correction and living expansion, and to honor that commitment through every decision I make in my life, which translates into living integrity and self-respect as creators of our lives= as within, so without.

That’s the kind of individuals that I’d like us all to become and debunk for once and for all the external facades of ‘care towards life’ that are not genuinely honored in the nature of who we are as individuals, becoming ‘cheap talk’ with no substance at all – and this is what I am here challenging within myself, to stick to my truth, to live my words, to practice what I preach in my living reality on a day to day basis, beyond only conveying good sounding words which anyone can ultimately convey – this is about sharing one’s truth and one’s commitment to actually live and embody as the new nature of ourselves as human beings, and that’s the kind of seriousness I’m definitely all in for in my existence.

Thanks for reading  

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


538. Living Authenticity

 

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

What does it really mean to be authentic in this world? And how have we shaped ourselves according to a desire to be authentic yet without having self as the starting point? Upon focusing and reflecting on this word today, I realized how much of the association to ‘authenticity’ in relation to a set of aspects or traits that are very much – or most of the times – personality-based, meaning, how I initially spotted it within the attributes I saw in another that I created a sense of ‘attraction’ for was related to a persona, the portrayal of themselves with particular set of preferences, perspectives and expressions that were not really of ‘substance’ as I call them when it comes to the person being expressing who they really are as life or being supportive in their expression – it was mostly a perception of authenticity being expressed through being rebellious, polemic, controversial, against-the-grain in fact, very much ‘on your face’ and standing up for something that the thinks is right for him. And sure that’s a way to ‘be authentic’ in consciousness-speak, but here I am definitely not looking at doing that for myself, dare I say ‘again’ and I’ll explain why.

How I had ‘strived’ to live authenticity was mostly through creating a persona/living a set of personalities where I could stand in an eccentric way (out of the norm, out of the circle) and create myself as a statement of ‘I don’t buy into any of that, I am the opposite of what everyone wants to be’ type of ideal, and surely this can be something very common in our teenage years or young adulthood that eventually becomes a self-definition for the rest of our lives if we don’t dare to question and re-create ourselves, very much like this person I took as an example above, which is ok for him and his process but not for myself, my life and process context.

So, what would have happened if I had not started this process from consciousness to self-awareness as life is that I would have most likely continued to be a person that stands very much in the definition of ‘misfit’ or ‘outcast’ or ‘eccentric persona’ that tries to be unique, special, ‘authentic’ as a portrayal of personalities, a palette of expressions used ‘towards others’ to create a certain impact/make a statement about ‘who I am’ as all the strengths and potencies that I ‘wanted’ to have and be at the eyes of others, but certainly most likely hiding quite a lot of insecurities, fears and inferiority behind all of that façade.

Throughout the years I’ve shared the detail of walking the writings, the self-forgiveness process on seeing, understanding and so correcting myself from feeding this ‘hard veneer’ I placed upon myself in order to really find out who I am behind the masks essentially. And this is exactly a first step to look at within the word ‘Authentic’ and self-creation.

Initially when I started removing ‘the masks’, what was left was this ‘me’ that was very much still to be re-sculpted, re-programmed so to speak because all I had ever known is how to be a character ‘for others’ and not really focus on asking myself: Who do I want to be? What do I want to create? Who am I as the words that I speak and live? Who am I as my expression? What do I want to create and live not only for myself but also for others in my world? What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses to work on and strengthen? What are some of the ‘unique skills’ I can develop/would like to focus on developing and so living/expressing throughout my life? What would I like to contribute to this world to create what’s best for all?

Therefore, authenticity became linked to ‘authority’ and ‘authorship’, which is something that I completely had overlooked in my plight to become this compendium of personalities and ways to ‘cope’ with the world and portray myself as being something I would define as ‘strong,’ but it was all going to be very much just an imitation of other people I admired and wanted to ‘be like’ in order to be as special or popular as I considered them to be.

Throughout this process with Desteni, we learn to see words beyond our predefined ways, beyond the surface scope and learn to open up a whole new way of looking at them, and this is through adding the ingredients of self-honesty and the ability to change who we are, being able to see who and what we are in the context of taking responsibility for ourselves, our creation, our words, our actions, who we want to be as a contributor to life being birthed again in this world. And that’s definitely something that opens up the real depth there is to authenticity.

Who and what have I become as authenticity through this process of several years of learning to understand the ‘who I had become’ and redesigning myself step by step in every single aspect where I saw my ‘character weaknesses,’ integrating a correction that I realize represents me as my living potential led me to where I am now, which is being able to look back and see how this authority and authorship as the creator of my life is something I’m very much ‘settled in’ with, meaning, it is a platform from which I am already ‘operating’ from, just had not realized it as such if I had not written it out and focused on this word today.

Yet, as with any living word, it is not something that is just ‘done’ for myself, it is – as with every word – a platform from which I can move to express, grow, expand as a person within the context of becoming a contributor to life itself – and no longer just a compendium of expressions ‘for others’ to appreciate, value or see as ‘unique’ which is one of the ways in which a personality can be confused with what I’d like to share as the real uniqueness we all have here.

How about considering authenticity as our unique position and ability to partake in the process of co-creation, where we start seeing each other as equals with equal potential to be developed and sculpted for and by each one of us in the name of what is best for all?

Many times we get lost in the ‘matrix of personalities’ where we are kind of always striving to be unique, to be perfect, to be successful, to be special as a personality ‘for the world out there’ instead of rather first of all considering who do we want to be and live for and as ourselves, what do I want to cultivate, grow and reap as my creation for myself and so for everyone else in this reality? In other words: what can I be and contribute with as my livelihood, my unique expression, my skills and live them in full responsibility and awareness of shaping me and what I do in the name of what’s best for all – where each one of us can in fact contribute unique aspects that makes us ‘who we are’ as individuals, yet equal in the context of that life-essence that we can learn to honor and live as our expression, in our very own day to day living.

This is where the context of stopping comparison also comes in, where in my experience, many times I’ve fallen into the trap of comparing my abilities, skills, expressions, behaviors, choices and outcomes in life to that of others; instead of reminding myself that each one of us as individuals are unique expressions, with a unique context that cannot be ‘repeated to the T’’ by any other individual – no one else has had our exact same life position and experience, in the same location/context, with the same challenges, with our same bodies and exact same patterns learned and copied from our very own parents – etc. So, the sheer notion of comparison with this becomes futile, it’s like trying to compare one tree to another tree – yes both are trees but they will always be different and there’s no point in comparing in the sense of who’s better or worse or more special etc. That’s all consciousness-speak which we have to start stopping within ourselves.

Stopping this consciousness-speak then leads one to tap into the essence of who can we be, what can we make of ourselves as an individual, what words do I want to live not only for myself and my life, but as an equal contributor to the co-creation of this reality?

I recently suggested someone to do this for themselves as well considering how much we focus only on ‘stopping patterns’ and all the rest of destructive, self-sabotaging or self-abusive behaviors and contexts, leading oneself to temporarily lose footing within who we really are and only see all the negative aspects, getting obfuscated by the reality of self one can initially see in this process, all the ‘bad’ and the ‘negative’ which needs to be at the same time worked in an equal process and equilibrium with self-creation and having a starting point of who do we want to be and create ourselves as in this lifetime, this life-opportunity we have here on Earth if we dare and commit to step into it with our full life force and expression.

Therefore for me to be authentic or live authenticity is to be and live my unique set of skills, abilities, what I’ve learned to practice and develop over time which in my very own life experience has led me to be a person that can assist others in their own birthing process based on doing that in my own experience for almost a decade now and realizing that there is so much more that each one can be if we can step out of our own limitations first of all, out of our fears, out of our comparisons or personality ideals and place our focus and attention in our living potential, who we really want to live and be for the rest of our lives, in the context of what’s best for all life, considering self-responsibility within self-creation. This changes everything and it’s of course something that not only benefits us individually, but collectively because again if we are best for oneself = we become best for all in whichever we decide to be and create.

Here I am realizing how I had minimized such potential of this word by linking it to a set of personalities and expressions I defined as ‘interesting’ for example and seeing myself as ‘desiring that’ or ‘lacking that’ which is definitely not the case now that I’m opening this word in a substantial-context in living terms – it changes everything.

And this is the kind of perspective I’d like more of us to really integrate and acknowledge in our lives, to see where and how we diminish, in-fear-iorize or separate ourselves from a word through consciousness-speak like ‘attraction’ or ‘liking’ or ‘being drawn to’ something or someone based on an experience, instead of going directly into naming the experience, giving it a word and seeing first of all who are we already as this word, how are we living it and if we are living it, is it best for all? Is it considering using that ability and potential to support ourselves in our lives and others? Is it lived self-honestly? Is it within the context of life responsibility?

In this we can get to recognize how unique we already are and how much we are squandering in an attempt to fulfill ourselves through personalities or desiring relationships with others and the rest of it, all of it an outflow of separation from our very own living words and potential.

This kind of exercise I just shared here truly sets our record straight into realizing our potential and clearing one’s head from ‘ideals’ and ‘perceptions’ of what we’ve given value and meaning to- which is then again something to work through, self-forgive and correct within ourselves.

This is only a ‘self-assessment’ though because every aspect at the same time has been a process walked, every fear, inferiority, comparison, jealousy, personality development that I had taken on over the years and that I will continue to fine tune whenever it emerges again in me. So this is more like the ‘fruit’ that comes from a process of self-commitment to live and realize this for myself and this is something I see can make us better living parts and co-creators in this world, that can in turn change the nature of the world system and our interrelationships if we live this authenticity out of our personal-interests as consciousness-speak and into living-substance, into living potential.

Thanks for reading

 

Humble Me

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


533. Living Passion in Purpose

Next word to explore and see who I am in relation to currently is passion and this word ever since I watched Gian’s video on it, it stuck with me in the sense of what I can consider a livable definition of passion in fact, and I share his vlog here for reference: Passion, You are Your Passion to Change – Desteni Process Support Vlog.

Here it’s my turn to investigate it in relation to living it and making it my expression in who I am in whatever I do, and the first point to investigate is how I have separated myself from this word and making it some kind of ‘superior’ experience – yes, a noticeable energetic experience – that I have in turn given value to, but it doesn’t mean that it is a person living the word passion as self-expression. What does that mean?

Here then it’s about seeing how I’ve been making an experience ‘more’ than who I am and that’s the point to clarify here because it’s not really about having an energetic experience itself as ‘passion’ but redefining it into a word that I express and live in who I am and consequently within whatever I do.

What I may see in some people as passion is more like a driving force of their own purpose or point of motivation that becomes an expression of who they are no matter what they are doing or with whom – now, this is more me placing it into words because I can only observe things based on who I am in relation to it as well, which means that, lol I am already ‘it’ at some level.

This also means that I can get to recognize how I have been living passion to a certain extent within myself and in my life, maybe not in a very consistent manner throughout these years, but I definitely know that when I decide to stand as it and live it, I can become that force of life within myself, a motivation that goes beyond a personal interest, but simply as an outflow or expression or what I’ve defined as a point of passion in my life which is life itself, this process as the ability to be ‘reborn’ into our personal lives and tap into a potential that had been covered up with many layers – in my case – of self-depreciation, lack of self-acceptance and self-recognition, which is why in the first place I have been entertaining such ‘attraction’ idea towards other people, because in a way I didn’t first look within myself to see where and how I am already living such word  – instead of reacting in a subtle manner to another’s expression which may – or may not – be more ‘energy’-related and then making that as something I desire to become within myself, which would be missing out the entire point.

I see that passion is the result of standing within oneself in a consistent manner, it’s like a ‘flame’ that we turn on and keep burning within ourselves in relation to what we decide to stand up for. It expressed physically as a form of intensity in my expression, an enjoyment, a fulfillment within myself as I see myself standing as my potential – or when being in a self-creation process, there’s that ‘driving force’ within me that is not based on getting to ‘the top of the hill’ so to speak, but more so in relation to getting to know who I can really be if I direct myself in every moment of my life to do what I’ve decided to do, to manifest and create the life that I want to create for myself and so for others, as life.

My passion is directly connected to this process of assisting myself and so many others in birthing ourselves as life, of getting to understand ourselves and from doing so, learn to live in ways that better ourselves, our relationships and so the world that we create. That’s been my driving force that I’ve been expressing in several ways, but the most common ones are through direct communication on this process, on the importance of it, the benefits of it and the responsibility we all have to it at the same time, which is about understanding self-creation and self-empowerment in consideration of what’s best for all, our true potential that is always here, waiting for each one of us to light it up and live it in our lives.

From this realization, I take some of Gian’s words to explain how it is in this decision to be an example or stand as an example, integrating these principles of self-honesty, self-creation, self-responsibility, self-trust, self-respect as a result of all of this walk that we then become that passion as ourselves and can ‘pass it on’ to others through one’s living example, which I consider is a meaningful, respectful, dignifying process to do in one’s life and even a privilege as well which entails self-responsibility too in not only ‘getting’ the benefits, but learning to give ourselves back to others that also want to learn to assist themselves to live to their utmost potential.

And this passion as I am living it, is already coming from some years of experience; now is the time where I have to recognize the authority I have onto my own words based on my own experience, my own application, my own dedication, focus and attention to doing this every day of my life for years. And now I am now finding it fascinating that I could be ‘falling for’ an experience of ‘longing’ some kind of perceived ‘passionate expression’ in another that might be appealing to certain personalities or memories within me – but that’s of consciousness.

Who I am and what I live and specifically in the context of what motivates me I can see is nothing else but life for life as life, period. And that to me is quite a ‘pure’ form of passion that may sound abstract for some, but can be read in all of the words and all of the principles I’ve set myself to live within my life over these years as a self-commitment.

I’ve noticed then within this apparent experience of ‘attraction’ toward others that I essentially have to remind myself to first of all look back within me in how I am already living that something that I am kind of ‘being attracted to’ and if so, then I have to debunk the bubble of experience that I am creating in relation to another’s expression and simply let it go for what it is= a feeling reaction. If not, then there’s a word I can work on creating, living and expanding myself on within my own context and reality.

Sometimes I tend to underestimate myself and it is only through writing that I can debunk my own ‘admirations’ and rather look straight and clearly towards myself to realize ‘hey, I’m actually already doing that’ or ‘I have to align this point more in certain contexts in my life’ or sometimes simply learning to embrace another’s expression as it is, instead of reacting in the mind in a sense of ‘desire’ or ‘want’ to ‘own’ it through a ‘relationship’ which is how we tend to operate in our minds, always wanting to be like vampires that can suck the life out of others and ‘own it ourselves’ lol, instead of realizing ‘hey I actually have that life as well, let me work on myself and build my own potential.’

Here thus I take the space to rather see in relation to what do I want to express that passion as myself, besides for example these writings which is where I see it usually is expressed as this force of the words that is aiming at sharing myself and possibly ringing someone’s eyes and ears, it’s a usual intent within me within writing, like ‘passing the flame’ as Gian once explained as well, from personal living example.

And I consider that passion is a word that I tend to forget to live whenever going into any minor ‘low’ within me, upon any subtle judgment, or experience of ‘being hard of myself’ for something, when overthinking in the process of doing something, I essentially have to remind myself living passion, remembering who I really am essentially, not allowing anything less than what I’ve proven to myself I can be and so be my own point of ignition, where I don’t require watching another’s expression to feel like wanting to express myself as that, but I can simply make a decision to express it in the moment, especially in contexts where I am allowing myself to be affected by others to a certain extent.

Those are moments where I can investigate why did I allow myself to go into a ‘low’ upon discussing or meeting that person? What’s behind it? and go back to my self-investigation board to establish self-clarity and then see how I can remain standing within myself as that consistent force regardless of who I am with or what I am being shared about – which is not a point of remaining positive or thinking positive, but rather a decision to stick to the common sensical me, sticking to my potential and so expressing it in who I am in those moments, extending that realization of being able to ‘walk through’ points even if they might seem too much at times.

This way I can embody this statement as: ‘this low is not who we really are, nor this depression or self-devaluing experience, we can be better than that’ and so step back into the passion that I’ve lived and that I yet have to develop and expand in various moments in my day to day, starting with seeing and recognizing myself as my own source of it – not anything or anyone outside of me as an idea, perception or mind-relationship, but rather doing it as self, as a part of the whole

If we all do this, one by one, we will truly get to live and interact with self-fulfilled and passionate individuals that can in turn keep sharing the ways in which we can all stand up and tap into our potential, and share the exact ways to do it, which is precisely what this process at Desteni is for: learning how to empower ourselves, how to get to live within our utmost potential, how to establish our principles and how to – most importantly – live them in a practical way in our day to day.

That’s what I decide to do and live – and in turn, get to appreciate other beings that can be equally passionate, without interfering with it in desiring or wanting that, because I can remind myself I am already living that, I embrace another’s expression and be grateful for who they are, and that’s part of the ‘shared passion’ for each other as living beings I’d say – no fuzzy attraction experiences any longer.

Thanks for reading.   

 

 

    

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


525. Living Dedication

Or how to apply this word in different contexts and situations within this process of self-change and self-creation

This word has come up as a solution to apply when it comes to walking this process from consciousness to awareness. One thing that’s required is self-dedication, making time for ourselves to write, to reflect on our day, to be observant throughout the whole day in fact of our every movement, every experience, every choice – that’s how this process is not just a separate ‘thing’ we do every now and then, but it becomes a way of living, a learning-to-live process.

Dedication means being devoted to a task or purpose and focusing on it completely, doing it ‘all the way’. I discussed this word with a friend the other day and we looked at how we have lived this word ‘dedication’ in various ways and times throughout our lives, we just haven’t lived it in the most supportive ways fully yet.

For example, in the past when discovering some spiritual practices or studying certain knowledge that I got quite ‘hooked’ on to search for what I used to define as ‘higher truths’ or a ‘spiritual path’, I would be very diligent and dedicated to get to do all my responsibilities in the university and then spend the time in the library reading books about various philosophies, spiritual practices, cultures etc. I was truly dedicated in taking notes, borrowing books and finding all of the bits and pieces that I wanted to integrate to my life to study further or get to apply at a certain time. Sure, over the years I really can’t remember any of that except for a few principles that are common sensical and I may have forgotten and lost all of what I wrote out, but here even if the whole lot of knowledge ended up being quite useless or pointless for my current life, I did get to see my ability to live that word ‘dedication’, which means I can then live this word but directed in a genuinely practical supportive way.

Same with some art fields that were more of an apprenticeship experience for me, a set of meticulous processes to get a certain result, such as in metal etching which even if I am not doing that at the moment or dedicating my life to it, I am quite grateful that I took that workshop because it taught me the importance of discipline, of following steps and being dedicated to it, which I would very much be considering I would spend 6 to 7 hours three times a week – sometimes more – to it and I got to be quite good at handling the processes. So, regardless of the ‘outcomes’ or final results, I got to know myself in that kind of tasks and processes that I had initially deemed as ‘too complex’ or ‘too slow’ for me to take on, but it assisted me to develop patience, dedication, consistency and discipline as well.

Another less ‘obvious’ example and showing how we can get to live words in a less ‘seen’ way is the following one. I was very dedicated as a child to study in school while at the same time being very dedicated at watching MTV all of the afternoon and still make both ends meet in me being responsible and have my entertainment on most of the time while studying and doing homework, lol. I was truly dedicated to watching music videos throughout my childhood and early teens, I would keep a record of every single music video I would watch in a notebook ordered in alphabetical order – no joke, this is true!

And I can name other things that I would do almost in a ‘religious’ manner like being very dedicated to thinking about certain people or desired outcomes in my life and how much time I would take of my day to fantasize about that, without realizing I wasn’t actually moving myself to create any of that at all in my life for real, nor even ponder if that was genuinely supportive. And if I look at the outcome of it all, sure the result of that was not something ‘useful’ for my life – yet, I still can recognize I lived the word dedication, therefore I simply now can direct that aspect of myself as dedication to supporting myself in this process of self-change and self-creation.

What I am trying to share here is that whenever we hear about ‘living words’ we have to remember that it’s not like this is something unknown or ‘new’ to us, we all have been living words, just not in the supportive way or in other aspects of our lives that we mostly tend to ‘automate’ creating compromising outcomes in our lives.

So here, it’s about seeing that we can review our lives and see how we’ve lived or have been living a certain word thus far and so in common sense decide how we can live that word in a constructive and genuinely supportive manner.

An example with dedication in my life, instead of being a dedicated ‘over-analyzer’ or ‘truth seeker’ or ‘information junky’ trying to get to the ‘bottom of things’ that ultimately doesn’t really assist me/support me in changing who I am in my everyday living or in my relationship with others, I can instead dedicate myself to know myself, to work with correcting my own habits and patterns that I know are a distraction and a deviation from the person I’d like to be and become.

If I see that I’m too quick to ‘give up’ on something based on a first few attempts of doing it, then I can apply dedication in terms of being more focused on practicing something, testing it out throughout more time, making the time for myself to do it and not allow excuses, reasons or justifications as to why I am so quick to give up upon trying something out a few times. Everything and every relationship requires much more time to assess ‘who we are’ in relation to something or someone and also get to know that something or someone better.

If I see that I am too quick to judge other people based on first-impressions and am too quick to create an ‘assessment’ of how I see myself in relation to the other person over a five minute conversation – then I can apply this word ‘dedication’ to genuinely dedicate some time to being with the person, getting to know them, giving myself the space over time to see who the person is in reality, beyond my immediate judgments, opinions or prejudices based on a ‘first glance’ towards someone that I meet for first time in my life.

If I am painting after over a year of not doing so at all and I dislike the outcome of it from the get go and wallow into an experience of ‘this is pointless, this is going nowhere, I should just not do it anymore, what’s the use?’ type of experience, I have to stop and instead dedicate myself to continue practicing it over time, not engulf myself completely in it, but rather dose this activity throughout the days and not attempt to get a perceived ‘successful result’ from the get go – I have to develop patience, consistency, diversification and dedication to get the outcomes I am aiming at.

If I see I am too dedicated to checking out news and general ‘world gossip’ every day and I haven’t actually given myself the time to focus on my own process, my own day, my own responsibilities and activities, If I am not dedicating myself to seeing myself in my own experience, checking where I am and how I can direct my time more effectively, I can apply this word ‘dedication’ to doing what I know it’s most supportive to myself, rather than wasting my time away in distractions that end up being wasted time of my life.

If I am picking up an instrument after years of not playing it at all and I see that I go into the experience of ‘what’s the use, it’s pointless, I’ve lost all practice, I should just give up’ I have to apply the word dedication and to understand that it will take time, patience and practice to get back on track with it, and that I can instead make sure I give some time of the day to it, rather than creating a resistance to it or seeing it entirely as ‘pointless’ because of not seeing any ‘visible results’ from it – I have to remind myself about how I once learned and how gradual the whole process was, which applies to any point of acquiring skills, learning something new or changing any habit, pattern or behavior within our lives as well.

So, as a recap, I’ve proven myself to be a dedicated person, just not all the time towards the supportive actions and things that I could genuinely benefit myself and others from. So it’s about adapting this word and living it in a way that I can apply that same devotion, focus and consistency I have lived to many other things in my life, and now use it towards a supportive outcome.

Thanks for reading

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


513. How to Live the Word Control?

Or exploring the negative aspects of control in order to see the supportive potential that this word contains as well for my life

The first association that comes to this word is definitely ‘control-freak’ which is one of the things I’ve shared about throughout these blogs as an aspect to change about myself and that has been most challenging to me, and what I’ve discovered is that there are fears behind the desire to control something or someone.

What is the nature I accept and allow myself to exist as ‘control’? Looking underneath it, it’s fear and fear usually related to judgments, perceptions, ideas I have about myself of something that I want to keep ‘as is’ and so attempt to control that something or someone to remain in a particular perspective or way that ‘I want it to be’ so that it can benefit me, be my point of comfort, preference or self-interest – which means that my imposition of control over something or someone is coming from the various points of preferences, personalities, characters that I’ve become and that I’ve used as an excuse, reason or justification to want things to be a certain way, to fit ‘my idea’ of how things should be and some other times, to not have to change something in my life and remain in a comfortable status-quo.

This time I approach this word to clear it up in my immediate or conscious associations which are mostly related to negative things as I can see, stuff relating to what I have comically defined as ‘the fascist’ in me, the absolutist, dictatorial, control-freak, and bluntly wanting others to do what I consider is better or ‘more right’ according to ‘my standards.’ This is why I have been – to a certain extent – applying and living the word flexibility, to curb these impulses or automated patterns in me, but I recognize it might still be at very superficial levels where I am mostly stopping my impulse to control, but at the same time haven’t actually embraced or integrated the expression of flexibility as who I am, because many times I still catch myself having this tension as a form of ‘control’ of myself in my mind coming through in over-analyzing, being judgmental, too strict, too exigent, wanting things to be done in a particular way, etc. And this means then that there’s more to understand and integrate of the word flexibility within myself, along with tuning into the physical nature of who I am as life that needs no fears to exist, but is, expresses, lives, grows, expands, adapts, lets others be.

Here I’m getting to see that it’s not like the word control should be all things that are ‘bad’ and negative, there is another way to live this word and it is related to an ability to direct ourselves which I had considered only partially as in the expression ‘controlling one’s emotions,’ but I have mostly associated that at the same time as a way to refrain them, contain and ultimately suppress which is not at all a directive decision, but more like a ‘stopping’ without much awareness into it or understanding on why one should do that.

Self-control I see as an ability to direct oneself, I associate it with a moderation, a volition, a will that we can apply and live out as oneself. It is like living out the notion of ‘putting a guard in front of your mind or mouth’ where one can prevent consequences, prevent emotional or feeling outbursts by maintaining a continuous awareness of oneself in one’s mind and physical body and making decisions or choices that are supportive for oneself. And in times like today where a lot of the mental problems come from a point of one not being able to control one’s thoughts, experiences any longer, I see it as a primary point of self-support to develop, even more so when we already know we have certain habits, addictions, patterns that are not supportive for oneself – that’s where self-control can be applied but not only to prevent problems, but as a way to generate or develop the better aspects or potential of ourselves too.

At a world system level I have seen the word control as something that is imposed by those in elitist positions out of fear of not having people doing ‘what they will’, but at the same time within understanding our current human nature, I also see control as a needed measure considering how we have become unreliable in our own minds to in fact be, live and do ‘what is best for all’ – I mean, I would say that control is something tyrannical if we were all living completely by principles that benefit all life, but we’re not . So in essence we have created our own ‘elites’ that represent that ‘police man in the head’ in a system like this in order to keep some order; this form of control represents more of a consequence of us not learning to live and consider each other as equals, to respect, honor and regard each other in the best way possible. If that had been our ‘way of living’ then we would not be needing any form of control or external restraint, if there was self-restraint as a basic common sensical consideration that we can have in every moment to think, act and do what is best for all, then we would be living in actual ‘free societies’, but we’re not living this at the moment – hence all the systems of control that are evolved more and more over time and will continue to do so until we realize how we are causing such upgrades in control systems.

Here then bringing both dimensions from the personal to the external of the word ‘control’ and how once that I remove the fear, judgments, beliefs, preferences and personalities behind control, it can exist as a form of self-direction, of consideration, of directing ourselves to live what is best for oneself in common sense = considering everyone and everything as equal to oneself, where we no longer have to ‘maintain’ an ego, ‘maintain’ an idea or perception of oneself towards others, where we no longer have to ‘manage consequences’ but instead deciding to control oneself as the impetus of ‘speaking our mind’ as it’s usually said, where the best of us can become the directive principle in our minds, beings and bodies in every moment – and so control, direct, move, ourselves in a way that is most supportive for ourselves and so everyone else.

Where did I get the idea to investigate this word ‘control’? From the following audio Rebirth with Bruce Lee – The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 101 that I found very supportive to expand my vision about expressing words and learning to see the word ‘control’ beyond the usual negative connotations I had imposed onto it and so, explore the ways in which I can live it and make it a supportive one, turn it into a word I can live instead of immediately linking it to a form of ‘policeman in the head’ or ‘totalitarian’ and ‘restrictive’ in a negative sense out of fear, but instead see that it is an aspect and potential of ourselves that can be lived as a form of self-discipline and ultimately as a point of self-honor and respect, to live the best of ourselves and stopping giving our breaths of life to the worst of part of us, while still then directing ourselves to work with it to understand it, self-forgive it and then decide to live and be the best version of ourselves. 

Thanks for reading

 

Three Kings

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


494. Self-Motivation: Do It For Yourself

Some years ago I wrote about self-motivation and it’s a recurring topic within me because this is probably one of the most challenging things I’ve had to face in this process, which is that of understanding what ‘myself-moving-for-and-as-myself’ in fact means, because as human beings we’ve always been motivated/moved/driven by energy in the form of fears or desires, by a particular set of achievements that we create as an ideal ‘out there’ that we push ourselves to obtain. I heard somewhere yesterday – or today – about a hypothetical case where someone based their entire life on obtaining something, and when they finally got it, they did not know what to do with themselves. Lol, it’s funny I can’t remember where I got it from but it stuck with me because it prompted me to realize how much we have driven the entirety of our creation based on ‘achieving’ something outside of ourselves or getting something that we believe will fulfill us or make us ‘feel better’… yet we can eventually ‘get that’ and realize there’s still this ‘void’ or ‘un-fulfillment’ within us, which is because we made that ‘something’ the core-drive of our every move, instead of making of ourselves the core-drive and motivation of our every move to be and create what we set ourselves to do in this world.

That’s why here I’d like to look at self-motivation.

See, the point is not so much about finding things to do ‘out there’ and making them our drive or purpose, because I consider giving ourselves a purpose is something that we all have to create in our lives in order to live in a supportive manner. The point here is to look at ‘who we are’ within that purpose and ensuring that we are the starting point and motive/motor of such purpose at the same time.

What does this in fact mean? It implies that one has to do it for oneself, even if that which we are doing, working on or creating is ‘for something else’ or even to serve a particular purpose in someone else’s life, the starting point has to always be oneself so that no matter what happens to that which we create or work on, we know that every single moment of breath and movement of ourselves was lived within the starting point of supporting ourselves, of living that ability to move, to live, to direct, to challenge ourselves, to persevere in doing something that ultimately makes us grow and become better individuals every day, no matter what the outcome is.

I am finding it a bit hard to explain what it is like to wake up every day and have oneself as a motivation and starting point for everything, where fear is not really a motivation, nor a desire for money, nor wanting to ‘get something’ in particular either, but simply moving throughout the day based on a set of principles where I have to essentially in every moment decide to ‘move me’, I decide ‘to do things’, I decide to ‘get out of my comfort zone’, I decide to do what needs to be done, what I need to direct, create, take care of and expand on.

In my experience, it has been a constant point to create an equilibrium on, that’s how I can best describe it because I have been one of those people that had mostly ever worked on things and been very diligent in stuff in order to get some recognition, to do something that’s ‘really great’ but still get my ‘share of applause’ back, and living for that is just something that invariably leads oneself to a low, because the starting point is then getting an experience that is entirely dependent on others, on likes/dislikes, judgments, opinions, perceptions, moods, biases, lol… and the plethora of human emotions and feelings that I could get back as a response to ‘what I do’ which I have realized throughout this process from consciousness to awareness that it became more of a petrifying-process than a gratifying one at the end of the day. I knew I had to completely let go of ‘others’ in my head or this something/someone else I was ‘moving myself for’ and be my own starting point to be, do, act, live and express myself.

Has it been easy? Nope, I’ve caught myself over the years many times fooling me that ‘this time I am doing it to support me’ but I wasn’t, I still would have some hidden agenda to do something, be something to ‘impress others’ or get some kind of recognition ‘from others’ – yep! That has been the core programming in me and so it is an every moment decision to focus back on myself, to do it for me, to express it as something that I do as myself, for myself, no expectations, no desires, no fears behind it.

It’s easy to say but it’s been quite a process where I many times still question my intent and purpose behind doing something, but at the same time I’ve also found that stopping questioning it assists in simply breathing through a moment, trusting myself and walking the creation of something and walking through the outcomes of it. This way, letting go of expectations is quite a supportive thing to do because in any case, any idea, judgment, perception that anyone may have about something I did or didn’t do, is still that, a point of expression coming from others that can surely can be a feedback point, but it comes as a secondary thing once that I first establish me, myself as my core and starting point to do things and ultimately doing what I do in the name of my own bettering as a person and standing as that one point in this reality that can at the same time contribute to creating what I’ve always wanted us all to create: better world, better lives for everyone.

An example with self-motivation and money.  If we judge a world where money defines the value of a person, or where money is defended and cared for more than someone’s life, we have to stop then also moving ourselves merely by a desire for money for example, and instead see the current necessity for money as something that enables us to keep living, to have a roof over our heads, to continue creating means of living, to be healthy – if we use the money properly, that is – but in this way of looking at it, money stops being an ‘end’ in itself, it only becomes a means to keep myself/ourselves alive in order to continue learning how to actually live in the best way possible where I can then be the best I can for myself and so for others, to truly ‘birth life from the physical’ as every word, every action, every decision that I can make through being alive, through having money to keep myself alive and well – that’s about it that I see for now with myself and money.

At the same time I salute everyone else that is conducting bigger projects with money and that’s quite awesome as well where the use and purpose of money is for the creation of a living-environment that can be replicated in many other places around the world and be of support not only to humans, but plants, animals and ecosystems alike. I suggest checking out Gian’s Earth Haven project for it, and that’s a great example of motivation as well where money is used in a direct and visible manner to educate, propose ways of living and actually build them out in reality.

 

I share my own example where assisting other people in this same process is motivated by a greater purpose that I decided to be a part of in this world, which includes me and everyone else’s life to be the best that we can create it to be. This then comes through my own dedication and building up of skills through the years, expanding my own understanding and potential where I can assist myself and others to be their best version of themselves. What I’ve come to discover is that I genuinely enjoy being able to assist people in birthing themselves/ourselves as life, to discover who we really are beneath the clogging-mess that we can create in our minds and that’s a purpose and point of self-motivation that I had sought in many places, in many ways but had not really found anything as personally fulfilling as being a buddy or life-birthing assistant – as I like to call myself – wherein I am learning so much more about myself and others which in a way I sought to do through arts like reading books, painting, looking at art or music, but none of it quenched my thirst so to speak.

It’s fascinating how the contact with human beings in a deeper manner and with a direct and concrete focus to better ourselves, to change ourselves for the best is precisely what I’ve found most fulfilling to do in my life, which is great because as I explained in yesterday’s blog, I didn’t ‘like people’ and I was directing myself to be as separated from people as much as I could, being engulfed in my own little realm of pseudo-comfort, not having to ‘deal with people’… but, it is in dealing ‘with people’ and actually getting to understand the sometimes ‘nonsensical’ experiences we create in our minds and learning to take on the challenge to step out of such limitations that I’ve found a self-fulfilling activity where not only do I stand as the origin and starting point of it, understanding that if this is what I can do and am good at doing, then I am fulfilling both purposes: what I am and stand for and move myself to support others in doing the same, which is also why I write these blogs as well.

Many times throughout the past every time that I started ‘second guessing’ sharing my writings was because I was not being ‘the starting point’ of those writings as myself – meaning I was not my own point of self-movement/self-motivation – but I was trying to ‘show’ something to others, I was trying to get a point across only ‘for others’ and that eventually becomes a trap of ‘doing it for others’ as in having ‘others as my motivation’ for me writing myself, instead of doing it as an expression, a movement, a decision I make and simply live out and do.

So this is how I remember I have been practicing – with its ups and downs, clearly – since I wrote the blog Self Will: If I don’t move … Nothing Moves back in 2011, how self movement and my own will, my own volition as a decision I live becomes ‘who I am’ with everything I do. It is liberating and empowering at the same time to see and try out ‘who am I’ if I move myself for myself, as myself, no hidden agendas, no expected outcomes, no desires hidden, no fears in it either… but only a plain decision to move, willing myself to do it and continue doing it as an expression, an extension of myself, an ‘I move me’ decision. It’s very simple really but in our minds it does mean a process of disengaging having ‘others’ in the back of our heads or a particular experience we might get out of it, or a particular ‘outcome’ or ‘result’ as an outflow of what we do and that’s been a continuous challenge for me that I have to essentially cut-off and let-go-of anytime that this ‘doing it for something/someone’ rears its head.

If I am Not doing it for myself or as myself, whatever it is that I am ‘motivating’ myself with to move, will eventually crash down only to take me back to base 1 where I have to again re-establish myself as my starting point of self-movement or motivation. And this is ok to repeat and do as many times as it is needed to stand up from this, because at least in my case it’s easy to step out of oneself and start creating motivation through a desire for an experience or particular outcome, which is when we stop being our own reason and starting point for self-movement, self-expression and self-motivation and we give ourselves away to something/someone else.

How to tell then if we are our starting point in whatever we are doing? By questioning our starting point in doing or not doing things, because oh boy, I’ve been there where ‘not doing something’ was also a way to make some kind of a statement ‘for others out there’ and it really was a waste of time and inertia for nothing. Therefore, all I can recommend is to make sure that whenever we see doing something ‘for others’ I can immediately look back at myself and see what I am willing to live and do as and for myself and remove ‘others’ as an idea in my head.

This is something I was recently pondering about in relation to my appearance and how I have shaved my head for 7 years now due to the commitment I made for/as/with myself, but lately I’ve been giving too much attention to ‘how it is seen by others’ and whether it is supportive to engage with others and creating a possibly ‘wrong first impression’… but upon writing this here on motivation or the ‘motive’ behind things I do, I realize that I am again in that doubtful stance where I am placing others in my mind first instead of myself, and this doesn’t mean not to consider feedback or comments about it, but in the end, I do have to consider myself: what I want, what I am in relation to this point of appearance and making sure that if I decide to stop doing it, it’s not based on what others are desiring of myself as a ‘look’ because it is ultimately ‘just a look’ – but it would only be an decision motivated by me, making a decision and living it out. It is a fine balance between righteousness and actual considerations, which is something I’ll simply look at whenever the point is here again, and that’s why I started off this blog by sharing how this is probably one of those ‘challenging subjects’ because there’s always a fine line between motivating oneself based on what we believe we ‘are’ for others or ‘should be’ for others, and being and doing so for ourselves, standing for ourselves and I’d say for the first time learn to have me-myself and only ourselves as a starting point and end-point in our minds.

In doing this, as it’s been said many times, if we are the best to and for ourselves, standing in authenticity and authority within ourselves, being the director and motive behind every move and every decision to live, change and express, then we entirely own ourselves, we are responsible of ourselves and we are then at the same time also an individual that is part of a whole that stands in self-responsibility, in self-creation. What a better way to ‘change the world’ but through doing this by and for each one of us, individually. That’s the real path to equality we’ve been looking for, that’s the real liberation that we’ve been demanding others to create for us… and that’s something that it is very much available for each one of us in our minds, bodies and beingness, lol, it takes a decision, a will and self-movement to live it and do it though!

So, that’s the challenge here for everyone and myself, to keep an eye on ourselves within our every move and try out asking yourself whenever you are unsure of ‘what’s moving you’: who am I doing this for? What am I looking for with doing or not doing this? What’s my starting point in this that I am about to create, express, change, do, move? And from there assess potential outcomes to see if they are genuinely supportive for oneself and so for others.

Though not to get confused with ‘likes and dislikes’ either. Many times we have to do things that we may NOT like to do, but again it’s not to get lost in the outcomes of say working in a particular job where the results are not necessarily that of ‘uplifting humanity’ but it is about being the starting point in the sense of the words we can live in such situations: the discipline, the motivation/movement in itself, the dedication, the management of our emotions and reactions in such situations, the relationships with others on a daily basis, the points that we can learn about ourselves in such situations and environments where we can instead expand ourselves beyond our preferences or personalities, the kind of habits that we can assist ourselves to make certain tasks or points of responsibility the best way that we can… there’s always room for self-improvement, no matter ‘what’ we have to do for a living or how we have to ‘spend our days’ in this world – it’s about who we are inside and doing it to support us, no matter what the ‘makeup’ of the reality we live in is like, this is all about who we are within ourselves in it.

Ok, long blog but, cool reflection for myself to continue grounding this self-trust on self-movement and learning from it.

Thanks for reading

 

waterfall

 

Join us in our process of Self-Responsibility as LIFE


484. Redefining Desires

Or how to see what we are separating ourselves from in wishful thinking to instead see what is feasible and what we can change or create in our lives for our personal and collective betterment.

desire

noun a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen. strong sexual feeling or appetite. something desired.

 

When I read some texts on Buddhism 10 years ago, it was mentioned how getting rid of desires was the way to end all suffering which I considered for some time to apply, but as I’ve explained in various previous blogs over the years, I wasn’t taught how to actually understand my desires, how to work with my experience instead of just focusing on ‘shutting my mind up’ and ‘stop all my desires’ right away, which felt like renouncing, separating myself from something and remaining in a ‘lack’ that I was then supposed to perceive as ‘the end to all of my suffering’= see it in a positive light.

Well, this approach certainly did not work for me because I didn’t see the point of simply focusing on being in some ‘inner stability’ and remaining in a ‘Buddha’ type of mindset where one is literally creating a separation to the ‘mundane’ in order to focus on some ‘higher consciousness’ experience. By now I have seen how that state is still only an experience in our minds and it practically doesn’t assist us in becoming better active living human beings in this world empowered to change things.

Over the years I have been aware of this point of desires and to what extent we can create a besotted infatuation about something or someone wherein it becomes the one thought that drives our experience in a constant manner if we don’t decide to confront it and investigate it to see it for what it is.

I was looking at this word ‘desire’ with my partner the other day and he mentioned how ‘desire’ sounds like ‘these-I-are’ which I found very interesting because if we look at desire and the definition in the dictionary, it’s very similar to ‘hope’ in the sense that we fuel a want, a need, a wish for something to happen or be given to us without us doing anything to create it, which this sounding of the word assists us in realizing: these-I-are or ‘this I are’ as in realizing that what we are ‘desiring’ we are already existing in separation of – so, ‘these- I-are’ sounding of the word can be a way to remind ourselves that what we are ‘desiring’ is indicating a set of experiences, of fantasies, or possibilities that we have to first ground within ourselves in order to see how much of this desire is realistic, doable, practical and most important, if it is in accordance to what is supportive for our lives in consideration of what’s best for all.

Let’s look at a couple of examples. Desiring to be successful in life is something very common in our lives. One thing that I’ve also learned to see in desires is to at the same time of acknowledging this desire as a ‘positive point’, there is also an opposite point existing as ‘the negative’ part of it – this is based on how our mind works/operates at a mechanical level. Therefore in this ‘desire to be successful, there’s also a counter-point in its opposite polarity existing as a Fear.

In this example it can be a fear of failure, fear of ending up in poverty, fear of not getting an achieved status or position, fear of not getting the expected results into that which we want to succeed on. This is a very common sensical and grounding approach to see a ‘Desire’ as an opening of a self-investigation of ‘these-I-are’ thoughts and experiences as our fears and desires, as the points of separation that we’ve created in our minds that we have to face, look at, investigate, write out and self-forgive to then see who we really are and who we decide to be in relation to these wants, needs, desires and the fears that accompany such experience of desiring.

Through the process of applying the tools of writing, self-forgiveness, developing self-corrective statements, we can get to create and see our self-honesty about our desires: Are they realistic, are they doable or not? Are they common sensical as in considering what’s best for all? In the example of desiring success, we can get to realize how ‘success’ is not something that will get in our hands just like money raining down the sky – it won’t ever happen that way. We will find out how we have to actively create success, how to go step by step, bit by bit, developing a consistency, a perseverance, an active process of planning, doing, testing, expanding and finding ways and relationships that can assist us to get – slowly but surely – to a point of stability, growth, thriving and expansion through one’s own labor, through one’s own dedication, passion and consistency in creating what it is that we want to achieve.

Here a ‘desire’ then turns into a point that we can plan on, that we can turn into a set of plans, ways, methods to achieve what we want for our lives and that of others – then we are no longer caught day-dreaming within ‘a desire’ but instead, one can get hands on to create it, to make it a reality.

But let’s look at another example. Desiring someone else’s partner while we are in a relationship ourselves. It’s not something we would easily admit yet it can happen and it can become a ‘desire’ that we are fueling with our every thought on a daily basis and we are not even really questioning, what is it that we ARE in fact desiring, seeing the direct consequences of what it would mean to wreak havoc in relationships in order to satisfy an ‘idea,’ most likely a belief and a ‘positive experience’ that we have created in our minds about that other person that we’ve turned into a ‘desirable item’ for us, which is unfortunately something I have done in the past, and as much as one can be ashamed for it, being ashamed changes nothing. I had to ensure that I learn from the experience and no longer repeat the same in any way from now on, which means I have to investigate what am I desiring as a ‘person’ and instead doing the same self-investigation mentioned above to see and understand what am I separating myself from in relation to that person? What traits or qualities am I seeing as ‘separate’ from me that instead of desiring to ‘acquire them’ through a relationship, I can live out and integrate as a part of myself?

In this process of investigating how feasible, doable and supportive this example of desire is, I can realize that it’s not at all something acceptable, it’s not something that is best for me nor for the other person for that matter, where I am overseeing the fact that I am actually desiring relationship breakups in order to get together with that one person that I believe is going to ‘be better for me’ in one way or another. This point here we usually miss out when simply feeding and building up a desire, without at all really laying out the potential consequences of manifesting our desires. Therefore how I saw the point, it was not even a question that this desire is something that I have to self-forgive for all the points I am missing out as consequences I would create, while only existing in and following an experience of desiring something or someone, without placing my feet on the ground.

This reality check that we can do with our desires from my personal experience has to be at a written level, with the tools of self-forgiveness and self-honesty in order to acknowledge our creation, our responsibility and see where do we really want to stand in relation to our fabrications in our mind. There is something essential about this process of being able to see ourselves writing or typing out and seeing in front of us all the plethora of thoughts, experiences, fantasies, imaginations that we’ve built up or accumulated about these desires, to finally realize ‘these-I-are’ as these thoughts, these feelings are myself and I have to work through them all to from there see what do I decide to change, to stop feeding as ‘a desire in me’ and how can I instead use this realization into a supportive outcome for myself and so others as well.

In the topic of relationships, sometimes it is an indication of where we have to instead focus on our already existent relationship with another – or the relationship with ourselves, alone – and see how can we improve it, how can we expand in it, how can we use this ‘weakness’ perceived in ourselves or others and instead assist each other to change it, to strengthen ourselves which in turn makes the relationship a much more supportive platform for personal and so each other’s growth. While also making sure that we ‘leave the other person subject of our desires’ outside of our realm of fantasies and imaginations making a decision to stop feeding it every single moment that it ‘comes up’ again in our thoughts.  If we are to create a world where transparency, integrity, honor and respect reigns, we have to apply and live those principles within ourselves and toward each other first of all.

Here I have shared two examples of desires that indicates to us where do we have to create a direction in our lives to build and create what we want to be and become – and another example of a desire that is mostly indicating where we are separating ourselves from ourselves, where we can look at ways to integrate words, ways of living that we see others are doing for themselves and become that ourselves, which is where the ‘these-I-are’ reminder also comes handy, I have the potential to be that which I am desiring from someone else, I can work on developing and becoming those aspects or words as myself.

This is a genuinely empowering way to look at desires where we no longer just ‘renounce’ or ‘deny’ the desires in an attempt to ‘shut them up’ or pretend they don’t’ exist – no. Within the Desteni I Process, we face our desires, we open them up, we work with them, we learn how to understand the ways in which we are separating ourselves from our own potential, while also assisting ourselves to remain realistic and self-honest about what is possible to do or not do according to what we would ‘ideally’ want vs. what is realistic and doable for each one of us to build and create in our lives.

Thanks for reading

 

Desires

 

Learn how to practically free yourself from Desires:


483. Standing Our Ground in the Physical

Or how to practically apply the principle of ‘two or more in my name and I am there’ in our physical process.

Sharing here some of what we opened up in an Eqafe hangout today with Garbrielle, where we could look at a practical way of understanding what it means to decide ‘Who I Am’ in every moment based on the two ‘options’ that we exist as and ‘have’ as a potential of self creation: for the bettering of ourselves, or for the worse or remaining stuck in a status quo in our minds.

The premise is that we are existing as a triad of parts/aspects that conform who we are as human beings: we have the mind, a being/beingness and physical body.

The mind exists as all the points of separation as the relationships to energy that we have formed and existed as which is everything that leads us to create or recreate the worst aspects of ourselves: self-sabotage, compromise, addictive patterns, destructive behaviors, only seeing problems, creating notions of polarities like inferiority and superiority, morality and the rest of our ‘mind subjects’ that are in no way physical per se, but that we end up making physical when we act upon them.

We have our physical body which is the element of substance, of life manifested, that exists as the living and physical example of what it means to be in stability, consistency, resilience, flexibility, adaptability, self-regulation and even autonomy dare I say because we have no idea all of the processes that our bodies go through in order to keep itself alive and adapting to all of the challenges in the environment, processing what we eat but also most importantly having to assimilate, digest and buffer all the experiences, the energetic experiences that we impose onto it through our participation in our minds.

Then we have the beingness or being which is that ‘spark of life’ – some people call it the spirit or our essence – which exists as that potential in all of us to either go on the way of life or go on the way of our minds.  As the word says, it is a Potential, it is not something ‘given’ but we have to directly develop it – it is not something that has been only ‘trapped in our mind’ or anything like that. It is that life within all of us that can go either way, to support the mind – which happens when we for example cannot reason or see a way out in a moment and can be stuck in an experience of anger for example, or an experience of love – different ‘charge’ but same effect – we get blinded by our experience without being able to step out of it in self-awareness. That’s the way that we have been mostly living as, dominated by energies, experiences, desires, fears and not establishing a directive principle in really looking at what would be most supportive for us to live, to decide to do or be. 

This implies that in the same way that this potential can be used for all things that are not supportive, we can also decide to take the other road of actually directing ourselves to self-creation, self-growth, self development as human beings, as life, which becomes a very real choice and so decision in every moment that we are alive in our day.

 

In the principle of ‘two or more in my name and I am there’ the point is recognizing that we have these three parts that we are ‘made of’ or composed of, which are now completely merged and fused, which means that it is not like we can just ‘turn off’ the mind and get rid of that ‘problematic’ aspect of ourselves and suddenly – magically – expect our beingness to come through and be ‘liberated.’ Nope, our mind is ourselves, it is that part of ourselves that we have to get to know, understand, investigate and learn how to ‘walk through it’ with the tools provided within the Desteni I Process: self-writing, self forgiveness, developing self-honesty and walking a practical corrective process that is entirely intended for us to start shifting away from the usual dominance of ‘who we are’ in our minds, into the uncovering, development and expansion that we can create when we decide to stand as and in that potential within our beingness and as our physical body in the name of life, in the name of common sense and what is best for us and so for all.

In that, how I see it, is that we have the two basic elements that will create the possibility for something to be created, something to exist. If we stand as our physical and as our beingness, then that in itself is us making a decision to stand as life, to live life, to direct ourselves in a supportive manner which in turn, becomes a decision and a ‘reasoning’ as well as a practical laying out of solutions that we plan and write out using our mind now as a tool, standing as the directive principle in our mind to no longer ‘fall into the same old patterns’ but now instead we can use our ability to reason, to write, to make assessments, to communicate, to direct ourselves to live the corrections laid out through writing where the mind then becomes this supportive part of ourselves that enables us to also walk through our mind itself and so, start practically changing the ‘dominant’ aspect of ourselves: from the mind as consciousness – with all the energetic experiences, memories, habits that usually lead to a non-supportive outcome  – to life in self-awareness as the physical.

This means we make a decision in our beingness to stand up, to see beyond the ‘usual patterns’ in our mind and instead, tap into the possibilities and potential that exists as our physical body and that aspect of ourselves that can be geared to support ourselves – for example, developing self-awareness, directing ourselves to do things differently and in a more supportive manner, trying out new ways and methods to create solutions to our problems, test out the consequences and outcomes, investigate ways in which we can expand our daily routines and interactions.  

Therefore what is always a decision for us is who do we decide to be: do we decide to go through the way of the mind, of energies, of conflict, of problems without seeing solutions – or do we decide to in a moment stand our ground, decide to do what will assist us and others, do the actual practical work and walking through initial resistances to do that which is ‘out of our script’, stepping out of self-limitations and instead develop the potential of who we can be once that we go stopping and so correcting our ‘usual ways’ of following our minds as energetic experiences.

‘Two or more in my name and I AM there’ – is an equation, two or more elements with the same purpose and intent and the outcome or result is that which each element in that 1+1 is intended to be and do.

This ‘I AM’ in the equation is what we have the ability to define as the decision of ‘who we are’ or ‘who do we decide to be’ in every moment of our days.

An example, if I stand in a moment with a decision to remain in some kind of anger experience or infatuation towards something, in that moment I am allowing myself to be directed through my experience in the mind, affecting the way my physical body feels and consequently, in my beingness as the core of myself, I am seeing ‘no way out’, I am not pushing for solutions or seeing possible ways to work with those experiences and overcome it. That ‘I AM’ that I am creating is that of consciousness, of the mind, of energies, of self-sabotage, of self-destruction and in essence becoming the ‘I AM’ as the lesser version of ourselves, less than our potential.

But if in that same moment where I see myself in the experience of anger and instead I make a decision to no longer drown in the experience but help myself out, like for example: I decide to write about the experience, the inner conflict that led to the anger, understand the experience as my creation, recognize my responsibility to it so that I can then proceed to self forgive it, understand that experience of anger as a part of myself that I have to correct and deal with, to see it as my creation that is here, waiting for me to take a supportive action to correct it and so create a preventive measure and solution to it.

In that moment I as my beingness along with the physical body decide to take the path of integrity, of self-honesty, of self-responsibility, of challenging ourselves to change that experience within us through actively investigating it, finding out the ways in which one can practically live the solution in, through and as our physical bodies that – along with ourselves standing up as our beingness in that decision of do what’s best for all, what’s supportive, of growth and expansion – we live the words and expressions as actions that signify “I AM supporting myself, I AM standing up, I AM taking responsibility, I AM creating life in a supportive manner” here it’s not about just making nice declarations – no, it’s about living these words through actually making the changes that would lead us to truly stand up, to truly live as self-responsible individuals. This is what creates a clear difference between the choice of living in the mind, in the illusions or delusions – or deciding to live in the physical process of self-responsibility, of self-support.

In making a decision to assist ourselves – the beingness/being standing as and with the physical body – enables ourselves to then see the mind as the aspect of ourselves that now has to accept our core decision and so, who we are and what we live through the mind will be directed/guided by us making and living that decision to live life, create life, change ourselves for the better.

What is left then is no other option or function for our mind other than becoming the aspect or part of us that rationalizes the process, that can process it as a living decision and in doing so, the mind is no longer this ‘thing’ that represents and brings up the worst in ourselves, but instead we use it to direct ourselves, to write, to communicate, to interact, to assess, to plan – etc. if we are to create a solid foundation to our lives, we have to decide ‘who we are’ in this ‘I AM’: do we take the road of the mind, energies, consciousness or do we take the road of self-creation, of living, of self-responsibility, self awareness and self honesty?

The choice is always ours, the choice is always existent in every moment where every interaction, every experience becomes an opportunity to live in a better way, in a self-honest and honorable way. It’s about deciding to see and live life differently which is a genuinely empowering and supportive decision and a living process that has changed my life for the best, there’s no doubt about it.

So, how about becoming aware of this basic decision in every moment of our days: can I push to become the better version of me in this moment? What do I have to practically do to achieve this? What limitations do I have to transform into a supportive outcome, one that can truly change our nature that we have tolerated for the worse for so long?

We decide! And that’s empowering

Thanks for reading and if you’d like to watch the hangout, here’s the link:

Atlanteans – The First Encounter with Anu – Part 21

As Garb said: Do I want to be part of the problem or do I want to be part of the solution?

I stand with the latter 🙂

 

Thanks for reading and watching

Two or More in My Name

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