Category Archives: parental patterns

490. Tantrumy-Me and Childhood Patterns

What I’ve been looking at lately is how much of our childhood tantrums we still act out as adults, or ‘grown ups’ because I have also been playing at looking at us adults as just that, ‘big children’ that can still act out the same things as children just with different scenarios and reasons. Many times I’ve played with listening only the tonality or gestures of someone and stripping that away from the image I have of them as ‘adults’ and instead focusing on the essence of what their words and actions are implying in a moment. What usually comes through is what resembles a tantrum where the most basic definition is that of reacting emotionally to a situation where we don’t get what we want and so we blame others or simply ‘exert anger’ for not getting or being able to do what we wanted to do. Though there’s the dictionary definition for all sorts of clarity:

tantrum

          noun an uncontrolled outburst of anger and frustration, typically in a young child.

This also became clearer when listening to the awesome series at Eqafe.com called ‘Parenting, Perfecting the Human Race’ and getting to understand the core of tantrums and how parents before wanting to see their children as ‘the problem’ they have to look at themselves in terms of how they deal (hide or don’t deal at all) with their own emotions, with their responsibility on themselves, their actions or inactions, because children are only the reflection of what they see at home/with the parents.

Now I know, it’s easier to ‘look outside’ and identify all of this in others but the actual joy of this challenge is to look at it within myself. First of all, I reminded myself the other day when watching myself as a young girl how much of a spoiled girl I was, really, and how I would dare to treat my parents whenever I felt that they were wrong in what they did ‘to me’. Like when I decided to walk on my own in an amusement park instead of being driven on in one of those little carts for kids because I always wanted to be at the very front of everyone and going ‘fast fast’ as well as wanting to be ‘an adult’ myself so do what other adults did, walk – but, I didn’t notice that they stopped to eat something, nor did they, and I kept walking on my own until yes, I found myself lost.

Long story short, I was eventually found, but when I saw my parents I kicked, screamed and yelled the hell out of me towards them, because I was ‘blaming them’ for ‘leaving me alone’ when in fact, I did not want to recognize in that one moment that I had been the one that wanted to ‘play  the adult’ and instead of being driven, I wanted to take the cart with my own hands and walk by myself. But at that moment, oh no! I could not see that! – apparently, but of course I did – What played out then was that I wanted them to feel bad, really bad for ‘forgetting about me!’ And they even went and bought me cookies and some juice and whatever else they could to ‘calm me down’ but I was just enraged, possessed about it. I was 3 years old. Anger in a tantrum became a tendency wherein what I really wanted to do in those moments was to blame others – parents usually – for my own anger, my own self-harm that I knew I was doing to myself with such anger that, I knew was harmful to my body because I could get myself to spike up every nerve in my body in anger possessions as a child. Every time I write about it, the memory comes up of this on my arms, terrible stuff – anyways, those were the blueprints of the tantrum-full-of-rage-and-blame me as a child.

Here I can notice that it wasn’t even the point to ‘get what I wanted’ anymore, but rather ‘making others feel bad for what they’ve done’ and that’s nothing else but a sense of revenge and blame that may not come through at those levels of fury in me any longer – thanks to myself for that – but! I do still notice this ‘whiney’ voice in myself that uses this very childish tonality to manipulate and get what I want or blame others for what went wrong.

Now one thing that I’m recognizing here is my ability to be ok and open about this kind of situations, getting past any sense of ‘embarrassment’ which can only exist if I hold myself on a ‘higher ground’ or a ‘pedestal’ of sorts considering myself flawless, which is of course not  a reality for me. So here I’ll share how I, myself, created the whole situation in which I noticed this pattern nicely within myself lately and so in others as well.

I went along with my partner to assist my sisters and mother to set things up for my sister’s coming baby celebration. I had expected it would be a couple of hours but it ended up being like 4 hours of being more in contact with them within a situation where lots had to be done. As I was working on my stuff and my partner was assisting as well, we were listening to the chats my mother and sisters were having and I noticed how whiney my sisters sounded, like constantly dramatizing stuff, complaining, making a big deal out of simple stuff – and I even considered how this will all sound to someone that doesn’t understand the meaning of words, like my partner, but can only hear the tonality. And that’s right, we don’t have to ‘know the meaning of words’ but can identify anywhere in the world the same tonality and know what it means: whining, complaining, tantrumy essentially.

Now in that moment I didn’t only point out what exists in others, I recognized that I do the exact same thing but what I did notice in particular is how we, as ‘the daughters’ in the family, don’t behave that way with other people. The setting was very specific: mother and three daughters doing a particular common set of tasks. I noticed how my sisters were behaving that way probably because they are talking with my mother and that’s probably how their relationship usually is, it just happens to be that I usually meet them only in social reunion contexts, but here I was co-working with them on a similar set of tasks to do in a limited amount of time, which yes, usually equates in our minds to ‘stress!’ and so kick-and-scream out if things don’t get done as fast and as perfect as possible – type of scenario.

What I noticed thus was all of those personal patterns that I’ve known them and myself for throughout our lives as children towards ‘mother’ that ‘solves it all’ or rather, that we’ve wanted to see her that way, because she has also allowed herself to be the ‘punching bag’ as she explained later on to me when I opened up this observation two days afterward, while also acknowledging and sharing with her what I’m about to share here.

As I mentioned, what was initially going to be a 2 hour thing, became 4 hours and I have the kind of stomach that if I don’t get meals ‘at my time’ I start getting gastritis – again, it’s not like gastritis ‘happened to me’, I have created it within myself, accepted and allowed the factors and conditions through both genetics and my own mind participation to create it, to the point where if I’m not eating at the scheduled time, I have to brace for gastric acids gnawing my stomach. It’s also interesting because I’ve almost made it such a ‘common’ thing for me that I’m not even questioning it further – but that is another point as well for me to later on realize about, but the point here is that I created gastritis in me, I caused it for various reasons. So, I started getting hungry and said to my partner that “hey we should get pizza on the way back, I’m sooooooo hungry.” Already from there some whiney voice coming through as if that indicated that he or someone else could fly to a store and buy me something, which wasn’t possible really to do in that moment. We were riding along with my mother and I let her know if we could stop by to get a pizza after we leave the place because I was really hungry.

So after we were done with all the set-up, we left the place and my mother started following my sister in her car to get out of there, but of course I didn’t let my sister know that we were going to stop to get pizza, nor did I remind my mother about it so we essentially went out of the way completely of getting the pizza. I started whining in the car, with that very high pitched voice wanting to blame my mother for not going to get the pizza and so indirectly wanting to blame her for my pain as well, which was of course my own responsibility. Because if I know that I cannot go many hours without food at a specific time, then I must make sure I carry something in my bag I can chew on and prevent gastritis, but I didn’t. So that was my first point of self-responsibility missed to myself and my body.

Second, I didn’t inform my sister, she had no idea we wanted to stop by the plaza for the pizza, third point I didn’t remind my mother either about the plan – so the point was lack of communication from my side, as if they were to know through osmosis or something, lol.

So as we were going on our way back I started whining towards my mother about the ‘should have’s and ‘you could have’s and in that moment that I caught myself I did stop the whining, as I realized my whole responsibility in it all, but what was done was done. Needless to say that we did stop at some place to buy something to eat, which took as long as it would have taken us to get home and eat something – so again, me with my tantrum led my mother to stop somewhere else for a longer time so that I could get something to eat right away which took longer and of course unnecessary money to spend to quench my hunger.

Upon arriving at home, I was talking with my partner about what I noticed about myself in the car, about this ‘why-why-why-why-whiney’ voice of mine that I can absolutely trace back to me as a 3-4 year old child, he said that yes even if he could not understand the meaning of words, the tonality said it all. I was ashamed of myself, but not in the guilt/self-bashing manner, simply a recognition of MAN! That’s real time proof that ‘whatever bothers you, is inside of you too’ type of situation because I had been thinking within myself about having to listen to my sisters whining/complaining for several hours and getting annoyed at it and bam! What do I end up doing at the end of the day? The exact same and yes, towards my mother as well.

So what I did was bring up this subject with my mother when we were both alone and share what I had noticed within others but also within myself within the starting point of understanding the interesting set-up that formed in that moment, like the ‘family context’ that was recreated in that moment and how I noticed that we have kept the same attitudes in each one of us since we were children, and that it seems that they were triggered because of being the four of us in the same room – the children and the mother – and unfortunately yes, the three of us have a temperament that is not at all nice really, we have this huge predisposition to be extremely exigent with ourselves and others, as well as yes going into whining and anxiety and desperation if things don’t go our way. I’ve been working a lot on it but there are still times when it comes flares up like wildfire, out of nothing really.

So in situations where I am ‘having someone I can use as my human piñata’ in this case the factor of ‘mother’ being present in the equation, the same pattern comes up where in my whining I am wanting to make HER responsible for MY experience of hunger and so for not satisfying MY desire to go eat something. But was it really her problem? Of course not, what I did was nothing else and nothing more than a tantrum.

So of course I have to open up this point because even if I was able to see my responsibility, my creation in the moment, it is about seeing what are the triggers that I accept and allow as ‘perfect conditions’ for me to play out these why-me/whiney tantrums that I am genuinely ashamed of being doing at my 30 years of age, and so prevent them from even the moment that I see my voice tonality coming out from the highest pitch I can find in my vocal range, lolol.

Here I could see then how I have accepted and allowed myself to still see the mother figure as someone that can ‘stand my tantrums’ just like in  my childhood days and upon saying this to her, I said I noticed this and I am aware I have to keep working on this because I saw how it all played out as if we had all just gone back 20 years back in time and we were all living together again and we were all wanting mother to sort things out for us – a bit shameful to think that ‘years make us mature’ really, not so in our minds if we don’t actively work with deprogramming specially childhood patterns in us.

This same thing I can absolutely as well see in the ‘external reality’ as the world system where what are the protests or displays of emotion towards so-called ‘authorities’ but massive tantrums where we believe we have a ‘right’ to demand or point something wrong out, instead of taking the actual responsibility to our creation, stop wanting to find culprits and change, fix, re-arrange, align and correct the things by ourselves first.

Now, my tantrum in this situation I explained was very much like me channeling my 4 year old self, I just did the ‘whining.’ But I’ve also seen how us as ‘adults’ can do the same tantrums in various ways as well where it might not be a stomping on the ground and screaming out , but can be ‘channeled’ through getting into drugs, doing self-harm, alcohol, extreme partying, binge eating, self-deprecating habits as forms of tantrums where we want to blame something or someone else for our experience and so believing that we can ‘trump’ that experience through any form of addiction or self-harming habit or indulgence. Or it can even be just an emotion like constant anger or frustration, or evading ourselves through constantly occupying ourselves with work or only ‘living for others’ and then blaming that for ‘us not taking care of ourselves’ when in fact: who we have missed to take responsibility for throughout the whole time in that equation is Ourselves.

And, another very ‘present’ example. I’ve had a massive flu these last three days. Usually I become whiney about it, desperate because of not being able to focus or not being able to go out and do as usual, usually I want to blame the weather or whatever, but this time I know this might be a process of accumulation of experiences that I didn’t deal with properly that are now having to come out of my body through something like a flu. And yes there is there a tendency to want to be ashamed of my own flu because it’s something I’ve created and caused within myself that is not a ‘nice experience’ but actually, it’s the consequential outflow of a series of things I didn’t look at for myself to resolve them within that now have to come out this way – so self-responsibility, owning my flu as my creation is like making peace with myself, while also learning to see what did I do to cause this for myself and the magic question: how did I create this? Which is a world of a separation from asking the usual ‘but WHY-ME!?’

So that’s a last point to share here, how many times we fear seeing the truth of ourselves because ‘oh no what will others think about me?’ or ‘oh no! I am not supposed to show my true colors’ but, if we don’t get honest with ourselves and see the actuality of what still exists in me as, for example, tantrums, then how else am I going to change it if I have a ‘hard time’ first acknowledging, being willing to accept, have the courage to see what exists as me so that I can then take the responsibility for it to change it.

I will continue next post with self-forgiveness on the whole tantrum point, I truly don’t want to limit myself in blaming the flu for not continuing today, but I also have to learn to not ‘push push push’ if I am actually feeling a bit separate from my body at the moment, lol. So I rather take it easy today.

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418. Deschooling Ourselves: Why and How to Do it?

 

unlearn rethink

After watching Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves workshop video, I realized how important it is to be aware of how much of ‘who we become’ as a person in our society and in relation to others is shaped in and by the schooling system. To this, it would also be unfair to only look at school as the only one problem there is in our society, because schools were created by us human beings in the first place so there’s a human mind behind it all; albeit for all practical purposes, the idea of ‘education’ and the blind trust that parents confer to the schooling system makes of the schooling system set up the most easy way to actually justify integrating values, beliefs, behaviors, ways of thinking reality, ways of relating to others, ways of survival among one another where we are geared to continually having to prove ourselves to be ‘the best’ or ‘the worst’ in a system of standardized marks.

School is also the place where we come to first get in contact with people of different backgrounds, where our initial social clash begins which leads us to start inherently doing a process of preference over principle, which is how we come to build our very first friendships and relationships, where we as children do not  have a full awareness of us in fact being in a closed-system where one gets to be friends with people that could or could not afford some private/public school, and so already from there, we start classifying ourselves based on our socioeconomic background.

I have to say it is also unfortunately the place where parents place their most trust on within the systemically integrated belief that ‘whatever happens in school is just fine’ and that teachers and the government system behind it as education system ‘knows best’ – while parents mostly see this as some free time from their parental duty – or are deliberately also kept busier with long hours of work which is leading to unattended children growing up in front of TV’s, computers plugged into the myriad of boundless information on the internet and learning tricks about drugs and developing sexual deviances as a way to escape the inherent anguish of living in a world where parents must work 24/7 to get money to live, and where you as a child/youngster will invariably have to end up doing the same… I mean, who would not react to that expectative of one’s ‘future’ in this broken world? Yet we dismiss it and actually have come to blame schools, blame media, blame the government, blame parents and so as you can see blaming each other for the problems we have co-created in our society of which school is one great and pivotal pillar of.

 

robots

 

There’s a complete structural problem in our society and a large part of it has to do with how we haven’t questioned our sacred institutions like schools and the way they exist nowadays, which from my perspective are more like prisons or reformatory cells, they have always been the brewing ground for behavioral conditioning, human experimentation and indoctrination which goes unnoticed within the idea that there’s always an authority that somehow has a ‘greater understanding,’ because we place our trust on systems of validation, certification and quality-proof standards placed by some organization we’ve defined as government, which are a few individuals that have unfortunately proven to be easily bribed to rather arrange laws and regulations in a way where other individuals can be benefitted from it all – either for profit, for further population control or both. All of this apparatus of authority is currently quite skewed of course and it is rather alarming since school is the spot where kids are mandated to go to every single day – yet, even if kids do not go to a school per se, the same principles of it are still embedded in the way that we organize ourselves, in the way that we related with one another, in the way that we value ourselves, in the way that we choose what we want to do with our lives, in the way that we behave with our families and friends. The sheer idea of ‘education’ as it exists now is only a reinforce and catalyzer of essential mind and behavioral patterns that have existed within us as human beings since the beginning of our species, as they are all existent in the very core programming and functioning of our minds. So, what have we done then? We have only perfected the mechanism to make it a continuous mandatory process for kids to get to like/dislike certain things and make decisions based on, well, mostly fear of survival so that we can keep the same slave system mechanism running. But is it really the system that is the enslaving one? Or is it that we haven’t really realized where the real policeman ‘in the head’ resides in? Hint, the answer is already given in that question.

 

In Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves, a group of people walk through and expose all the behaviors, personalities, quirks and fears that they have become throughout their schooling years, wherein either one would stick to the rules and follow or dissent and rebel in whichever way possible, one would start valuing oneself according to the kind of work you deliver to the teacher, another would seek to prove the teacher wrong, another would seek be approved by them, another just wanted to break free and rebel against all rules… this also included some other more personal aspects like  because in school we also have mostly faced some of our most embarrassing or stressing moments.

I’ve shared before about crying over getting lost during math calculation exercise and not being able to keep track of it, getting so anxious that I burst into tears. From my experience, I’ve shared before about the usual pressure one would get when being ‘on the top’ and so having some classmates trying to ‘take me down/take ‘my place’ and directly letting me know how they would win over me and how they would see me fall and be glad for it, etc. All kinds of bullying also comes when being the one that sticks to all rules and does things ‘to the T,’ which to me for example later on became a way to simply dislike being used as an example for the class, which led me to then want to hide while  still wanting to keep my sense of public recognition. This influenced the way I shaped my main personalities: I started to desire being ‘cool’ for any other reason other than getting straight A’s …  and kind of a ‘rebel’ by liking non-popular things so that I could make it clear that I wasn’t ‘the teacher’s pet’ either for example.

All of these patterns are part of a lengthy self-investigative process that is contained in the pages of this blog as I’ve seen that most of the times when investigating any mind pattern, word or behavior, it invariably goes back to one of those ‘memories of schooling days’ and how some of the most ingrained fight or flight patterns, behaviors, attitudes, self-definitions like qualities and virtues, likes and dislikes as well as career choice a.k.a. who I wanted to be and become as a person, were shaped based on the same education system. To me it also involved a process of sharing a room with either 6 other kids in my first school and then moving onto being with over 35 in the following schools and universities, which is already quite a challenge when it comes to seeing how it is virtually impossible for teachers to be truly aware of students in large classes.

School becomes ‘the place’ where we are supposed to ‘find our ground in life’ and so, it’s quite obvious that we only become copies of the copies of stereotypes that we also acquire from the usual imprinting of professions we are supposed to go veering toward from an early age as part of the social-structure – however along with that, we got movies, TV shows imprinting a whole different set of values with which we believe we are in fact ‘making a free choice’ to do what we want, but we have never even questioned whether what ‘we want’ is in fact something we truly developed for ourselves or something we learned from school or saw on TV or internet.

In essence, we have never really been genuinely ‘ourselves’ as all we have become is copy of the copy of the coping and survival mechanisms we’ve shaped as personalities or professions, and that’s what I mostly have realized also when it comes to investigating myself and my ‘core personalities’ and how everything that I developed as ‘my personality’ was a collection of bits and pieces of popular counter-culture aspects along with a decision to antagonize the system no matter what, while remaining ‘safely’ in it at the same time since I would still like to be the obedient straight A person in school, lol, even if I tried to ‘rebel’ at the end… it just would not work as I couldn’t simply fathom myself being irresponsible at school which involved a sense of responsibility of ‘school being the one thing that I had to do as my main activity’ throughout the years.

What is behind that, for example? Fear of being punished, fear of being left behind, fear of losing my self-value and definition? Fear of losing my ‘throne’ as the first one in the class? Well, these points are definitely something that come to define ‘who one is’ based on a particular setting like school, where we actually acquire this way of thinking based on achievements, values, marks, behaviors and responsibilities that lie not within a common sensical practical outcome, but according to doing things the way they are asked to be done and according to a ranking system that is in no way based on the particular skills and abilities that are unique to each child, that is simply not part of our school system.

At the end of that Deschooling workshop by Eisenstein, the ultimate question remains: how to Deschool ourselves? And I simply realized that actually walking this process of self-investigation, of writing oneself to freedom, of developing self-honesty wherein we investigate our core patterns within ourselves is the best way to deschool ourselves, because in investigating our behaviors, our personalities, our fears, our manias, our weaknesses and strengths, our relationships, our friendships, our first traumas, our first embarrassments, our bullying experiences, our relationship to authority, our ability to learn, our qualities and deficiencies, comparison and judgment toward others, our discriminatory or empathic behaviors, our friendships, our enemies… all of these aspects that one actually gets to first live in school – most of the times – are part of what one can write out for oneself, investigating each pattern within the awareness of writing the experience out to identify how is it that one has limited oneself in such pattern.

So for example, if I had continued to only value myself according to what marks I would get in school, and feel ‘bad’ for getting a lower mark, then I would have continued to seek to get some ‘straight A’s’ or the equivalent way to get such ‘superiority validation’ somewhere else in my world, just because of not wanting to get to the opposite side of that and so lose my self-validation/recognition. So I had to work with understanding ‘who am I as recognition’ and the desire thereof, where am I not valuing myself, how have I accepted and allowed myself to only value myself according to achievements at school? Or how have I believed myself to only be a brain that thinks well? Where am I not actually seeing myself beyond this limited valuing perspective and really seeing through a broader potential that I had probably and most likely would not have developed if I had continued to only stick to my personality and personal desires.

So, deschooling ourselves involves a practical and continuous application of walking a process to self-forgive and let go of all the plethora of perceived flaws, definitions, beliefs, limitations, fears and rather work with developing real self-value, real self-acceptance and skills to develop ourselves to our utmost potential. In this, for example, I had to stop the desire to be recognized by others, while at the same time also walking the opposite polarity – because, as one walks one pattern you also get to understand how the mind works in polarities. And so I realized that along with my desire to be recognized, I also got to fear being recognized and so actually sought to ‘hide’ or become a rather ‘low-key’ individual while still holding on this ‘recognition’ point in place, so essentially I would create my own inner conflict which I even externalized in the way that I would dress in a rather extravagant manner while  at the same time using my body’s posture to indicate that I didn’t want to be seen, so I would hunch while walking because I believed that standing straight was ‘showing off’ and only able to be done by good looking girls for example, lol, yes all of this is a fine example of how we pollute our minds in fact.

So, this is just a tip of the iceberg example that one is actually able to investigate for oneself when looking at all the patterns we’ve become in our lives, not only from school but acquired from parents, from people we watch on TV, from the books we read, from the people we admire, from our friends and people around us, etc. As I’ve mentioned, we’ve become the copies of the copies and so the schooling system, the social system has become nothing but a reflection of these categories and identities existent and developed in our minds wherein we get lost in comparison, judgment and the idea of value in relation to ‘who we are’ within the system, all of which actually enables us to coexist within our current dog-eat-dog mentality, where all that matters is achieving personal glory regardless of who or what is abused and affected by it, or ‘collaterally damaged.’

 

I am a product of this society and I’ve had to walk this rather astounding process of deschooling myself,  of deprogramming myself in my mind while at the same time walking a process of self-creation, which is a continued process of self-investigation of every single moment, every single day wherein one continues to assert oneself as the new integration of common sense, of living principles, of a sense of commonality, of a consideration of what’s best for all, of not following an experience as to ‘how I feel’ or how I believe ‘I should feel/be like/act like/talk like’ to dictate who I am in the moment,  wherein it is a continuous process of letting go of any constrains and limitations that I have previously identified through writing, and have released through the process of self-forgiving behaviors, emotions, feelings, thinking patterns, ideas about myself so that I could then practically and actively work on stopping myself from running-through the same old programmed ‘me.’

Now I place my focus on attention on this self-creation process which is truly a first-timer for us all to be able to walk and do, because it is now that we are for the first time becoming more and more aware of things that were deeply rooted in the unconscious before. Now we are able to slowly but surely as humanity able to spot these patterns and behaviors with greater ease, and I have to say that this then a great opportunity and it does rejoice me to see more and more people starting to question themselves, and the overall world-system, which indicates there’s in fact a great opportunity existent here to change the direction of our lives if more and more people start waking up and smelling reality for what it is so that we can work together to correct and align it.

I must also say that when I speak of this process, it isn’t something I do ‘by myself’ nope, it would have been mostly more difficult I’d say – I walk with a group of people networked through the internet – around the globe – with whom we’ve shared our lives,  our writings for over 7 years now, keeping in constant processes of developing and strengthening our communication and feedback processes to ensure that we don’t get lost in this re-educational process we’re walking, which has to do little to nothing to any regular ‘schooling system,’ but we are all more than certain that more individuals must recognize the vital importance of implementing this self-investigation process as part of our schooling system, learning how to work with our minds as our thoughts, feelings, emotions, to learn how to effectively write them out and communicate about them while integrating a sense of self-support through developing common sense: the consideration of what is best for all. 

It is about time we realize that it makes complete sense to actually focus on empowering each other to learn how to best coexist as human beings rather than focusing on being liked by the teacher, or beating our classmates, or planning ways to get into a group of friends to ‘fit in,’ or planning our greatest success where we disregard another’s life of lack of opportunities and suffering that is and has become our collateral damage in this zero sum reality.

It is thus in our greatest and most common interest that we could all walk this self-education process of self-honesty which is a process of self-creation according to living principles to get to develop ourselves to our fullest potential, and so make it part of our educational programs in whichever way they take shape in the (near) future once that we more and more realize how detrimental and even harmful our current standardized type of educational systems are which actually stems from the skewed and misconstrued value systems in our minds.  

So, the best way to deschool ourselves, which is the same as saying the best way to change ourselves is definitely walking the Desteni I Process. There’s no greater set of tools in this world, nor greater group of people that commit themselves to support one another throughout this Journey to Life, to live in dignity and equality. And I can only encourage everyone to try it out for yourself, because if I had aimed at simply wanting to ‘change’ but not really investigating my mind and living patterns to the utmost degree, to really learn how to sweep behind the rug of my memories, my past, my experiences, to understand who am I within my mind and how to practically apply and establish solutions in my day to day living, I would have been equally lost in a constant yearning ‘for change’ but not really knowing how or where to start.

This isn’t an easy thing to do either, it’s probably the greatest commitment we’ll ever make in our lives, which is our commitment to actually learn how to live in the benefit of ourselves and all life considered. However, it will for sure be the most rewarding and long lasting for future generations as well.  

 

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400. How to Best Contribute to Each Other’s Lives?

 

How many times do we actually wake up considering: How am I going to support myself and others today? Well, I bet not as often as we in fact should, yet if we all began applying such starting point for ourselves as part of ‘who we are/what we do’ in our day to day living, we would have an actual genuine revolution from the moment that the benefits of coexisting within such principle would most likely create as a result of it doing just that: a world that is best for everyone.

 

Today I did the usual when going out for walk while going through various grocery stores buying my food and then I went to the place that I’ve been going to lately to get my ‘special recipe’ vegetables and nuts drink. I buy it at a relatively new small restaurant run by a family serving mostly what is called ‘healthy foods.’ I made the decision from the moment I saw it open that I would go there and ask them if I could get my ‘custom made’ juice, which they agreed to, and I simply saw that they were affable and asked them how long they had been running their business etc. the basics to get to know more about them as I kind of knew I would be going there quite often.

It’s cool when you find a place where you can ask for ‘your drink’ being it so that I do not fancy bars or alcohol any longer to have ‘such experience’ but instead I go get my ‘healthy drink’ from there lol here. Throughout this past month when going there I would briefly chit chat the usual here and there about the weather and how their business was doing and some recipes etc. Though today casually just one month after first meeting them, we kind of went through the barrier of just being the customer/service provider relationship so to speak and this happened in a rather casual way, but certainly it was all based on Me taking the decision to just express in a moment.

 

So they usually have their younger kids there and one of the girls had a knot in her hair and not enjoying her mother disentangling it. In that moment I simply expressed to them how that seemed such a ‘past story’ to me since I would also get very big knots at times and how I no longer have to be worrying about that – lol – so it seems that was me opening a door to say ‘more’ than the usual and specially related to me not having hair, they finally felt probably more at ease to ask me about my no-hair style and so yes I explained it was entirely my decision and explained some of the reasons why I do it – comfort, a decision I took in a moment of my life to stand up what’s best for me, for life and to live that support for myself – and obviously the benefit that comes with it when it comes to time, care etc.  So the man/ father then asked me what is it that I did/ what do I dedicate myself to since he and his wife had been curious about me, probably because of the no-hair or who knows but I ended up sharing what I dedicate my self to in terms of being a supporter of human development to integrate living principles that aren’t taught in schools and that are very much required in this world if we really want to change it, while applying them myself and in essence being ‘rattling the cages of the caged’ which I came to understand for a while now that that was the point in my life to be and do as well to instigate for those that can hear to also consider what’s possible in our world-life if we all start considering each other as equals and do to another as we would like to be done onto.

I explained to them how I studied visual arts having an idea of maybe hitting the ‘good life’ and becoming some kind of an artist/star and be able to influence others to ‘change the world,’ but then one year into my career I found this organization and people around the world that completely changed my life and so I had to ask myself what I saw as a priority when it comes to my life, what I wanted to spend my time on: either creating artworks or dedicating myself to my own creation, to straighten/align myself so that I could be and become an example of what genuine change implies in practical manners in this world. I chose the latter, and yes it came with the ‘breakdown’ of myself as my ego, my desires which I absolutely personally took the decision do in my life. And here just for clarification purposes, no I am not saying that ‘to walk this process you need to give up ‘your life’’ or what you desire to do, this is just what I saw was pertinent in my case.

From the moment I encounter the Desteni material it didn’t take long for me to think these exact same words ‘I want to work with them’ and from that moment on I simply applied myself to support with what I could at the time, transcribing material, studying it and getting to read more and more of the forum. I knew I was going to be ‘in it’ for life and so when I came to decide what I wanted to be doing, the decision was easier as I had also realized the starting point of my career pretty much based on the creation of my ego with no real foundation, so I didn’t quit, I walked it through but certainly realizing that my point in this life is to apply myself in this process of self change and be directly a point of support for others, which in this process it means living and applying the words I preach so to speak, being an example that I can see for and within myself I would like others to consider as a possibility and potential that exists within us all – not ‘as me’ but as the process of self-change and its possibilities when applied by each one of us individuals around the world.

I’ve pushed myself to take these points of responsibility throughout time, walking slowly but surely throughout a series of insecurities, denials of my potential, believing that ‘others could do it better’ and that I wasn’t ‘ready enough’ and certainly this is not something you are immediately ‘ready-for,’ it takes time and self-application, consistency, dedication but mostly to remain self-honest within the starting point of supporting others which means: I support others within the realization that in doing this, I am supporting myself too, not to ‘be better than’ but to empower each other equally, which is the first point I see is necessary if we ever truly want to live the actual ‘power for the people.’

So I shared all of this to the couple that runs the natural foods restaurant and so upon this, I usually do say to everyone that asks and is interested in it, that I am here if they would like to ever share something, get some perspectives as ‘that’s my job’ so to speak.And they did, they shared how one of their sons is quite analytical and critical about society, but is growing more and more angry and frustrated for not knowing ‘what to do’ to ‘change the world so to speak.’ And of course, I said I’ve been there, done that myself and so how I am available if they see it would be cool to have a chat with him. I consider that there is nothing more ‘rewarding’ than being able to communicate with other individuals at this level, with such ease, such openness and all of it formed by a series of decisions I made to also frequent buying there as I do truly appreciate the fact that they have decent prices, quality products and are a family running it, not a large corporation having people doing it for them.  I appreciate someone that can make a living by selling and promoting supportive and healthy food to eat than someone earning millions being a corporate manager in Mcmeals Inc., not to diminish them, it’s simply being rather self-aware of the support required in our foods and this business run by the couple/family is the kind of businesses I would like to see more often as well for the betterment of our eating habits too.

Anyways to not make the whole deal long, it was also very interesting how as I started sharing how I not only dedicate myself to this process of supporting myself and others but investigating solutions for the world system as well. So, the guy said how he had been pondering Why does royalty exist? And yes, now we have something to thank for to the abdicated royal in Spain, having people questioning the existence of ‘royals.’ So I shared a bit on the history of that and we continued talking about the corruption in government, the pedophilia that runs in our government – which is quite well known unlike other places – the freemasons, the elite schools, the standardization of education, pop culture, Disney and the indoctrination of little boys and girls into an early sexualization, the disruption of families, parenting, oh yes parenting which is the main point that we discussed and how important it is also to become an example to the children, and how their very own relationship will become the ‘model’ or example for their children to recreate and how every word, every action mattered when it comes to being the example. 

The point that worried them the most is not knowing what to exactly do with one of their sons and I explained how I have walked that road exactly. I was highly, highly critical about the world around me – always looking at everything with disgust, even hatred when it came to the church, politics and every other rich person I saw as a culprit for ‘where we are now.’ In essence, I was always blaming  ‘everyone’ in a position of ‘power’ around me instead of actually realizing I was going to get myself nowhere if I remained in such antagonistic stance. This remained like that until I started realizing the ‘role’ I was playing as in wanting change and wanting to get it done outside of myself – but never really consider it was me that had to become such example myself, within myself first.

The revolutionary thing within Desteni is that we become the actual living proof of what changing your life actually in fact means/implies and ‘looks like’ – obviously not physically but practically speaking of. As I’ve said some other times before, who knows where I would have been right now if I had continued trying to evade my reality and evolving my ego… I am so glad I stopped myself from going literally down that path as I’ve seen in others where it took them and I am certainly in no way regretting the choices I’ve made when they’ve been made in order to support myself. At first it does seem like a ‘big change’ and as these guys said as well, it IS rather difficult to change oneself and also how to live in a society where you have to ‘swim against the tide.’ I explained that certainly at first it was quite a ‘tough time’ but how now it is simply who I am and what I do/live by now and so it’s not any longer something ‘separate’ from me but who I am, it’s become ‘natural’ in a way, which they also confirmed when they explained their perception of myself, including my rather ‘non usual’ look lol. Of course this is not the ‘absolute’ but certainly I do have to be able to recognize that I experience myself mostly stable and that any point that ‘makes me feel uneasy’ it’s just something I cannot stand for that long, I simply start investigating what I did, said, read, didn’t do or felt about something/someone and so see it for what it is. So this means that I no longer can experience myself in a constant ‘state’ or ‘experience’ for that long as I used to before, because now I do direct myself to sort myself out/ to align myself, just because it is so easy to notice when something ‘rocks my waters’ so to speak, and so yes this general stability is what I also see is more of a physical presence that I can then decide to express I an certain manner to interact with others.

I shared with them that a great benefit from this process is how one ‘gains’ stability, recognizes one’s own ability to change, develops ones own potential, breaks through any pre-determined/limited ideas of ‘what I should be and do as I then focus on my own expansion, breaking through the patterns of the past which have gotten us to the point we are living in now: absolute enslavement as there is really no other word to describe it. We’ve always been slaves in fact, but now it’s just less covered by nicely painted facades.

 

One aspect that they mentioned about their son which I also can relate to relate to, is how the ideals of a ‘better life’ are created like for example pondering the American or European living standards as ‘the best’ – this is obviously coming from us living in Mexico. I remember this very well too, I used to – believe it or not – also ponder America as this ‘great place’ for some 7 years in my life and dreaming about going there, as well as Germany.  I got rather confused at seeing the evil behind such perceived ‘beauty’ and the kind of ‘art’ that was in fact existent there which was all created based on ideas about power, abuse, gods, reptiles, death and everything that can mean the reverse of life and most likely done by slave-labor work for the ‘less fortunate ones’, so I also then shared how I had to debunk my own ‘ideals’ of what a ‘good life’ currently means and seeing how it was in fact constructed upon, which led me to debunk my delusions of grandeur when it comes to understanding a ‘first world nation’ and instead, being able to understand a ‘first world nation’ in reverse when it comes to measuring this world in self-honesty: the richest are the most abusive, and so I could no longer revere and ‘admire’ any form of royalty, power, exuberance and so-called progress. It’s all been based on abuse so that is there to actually admire there? I certainly got my own understanding on this later in this process when getting to understand the actuality of ‘first world countries’ and the most ‘powerful currencies’ around the world, which I could only then make sense of through this ingrained pattern and program to seek for power, seek for more, seek to dominate and control, just for the sake of the experience thereof. This is the human nature that we have existed as thus far which is the same human nature that can be changed if we actually want to see a change in this world.

What I shared with these guys was in a considerate manner, not just ‘spilling the beans’ for the sake of it, but seeing how much they were also ‘willing’ to hear based on their questions, what they were interested in getting to know about and so we probably talked about over 2 hours which I had never thought of doing and opening points ‘that far’ with people that I do‘not know’ from other relatives or friends of friends type of situation, which is rather cool because this is what we can probably do more often as well, opening up with the people we ‘buy’ things from or that are in our neighborhoods and besides supporting them with spending our money there – instead of buying some crappy food for some Mr. McRich, I rather support local small businesses that sell quality healthy food and earn a decent living by doing their meals with the necessary care that they also eat from.

Now this is what I support as well when it comes to buying that which others also sell with the intention of selling something that is beneficial for ourselves, and it is also nice to be able to now open up with them and see how cool It is to see that they are actually quite ‘open minded’ as well and receptive to living principles which they already have to a certain extent so, I’m glad and more than willing to support others that are open and willing to support themselves too – this is what I am here for, this is what I could say I was ‘born’ to do and it’s a rather rewarding and enjoyable too when I can talk to people at length about this, and being genuinely interested because it is in fact what we can all relate to as well, it is what ‘we do’ as human beings. So there’s really No excuse to not have a topic of conversation with any human being, regardless of them being willing to ‘hear and apply it for themselves’ or not. I’ve realized that my point is not to ‘show others’ but to simply live this for myself and so instead have people then asking opening up as I have made the first move to ‘open up’ until one gets to this point in a conversation of  asking for perspectives or wanting to know ‘what I think about…’ and so through sharing perspectives already being opening further points for others to consider too. In the end they were quite grateful for the chat and it’s these moments that certainly can make a greater impact into each other’s lives.

 

A process I can also share of is the one with my parents who actually are quite supportive of myself and my process, being aware of what I do, what I research about myself, the world system etc. Before I was not able to talk to them for a long time. I treated them as ‘my parents’ and so kept the relationship at distance after having had the typical troubled teenage years of getting to dislike them because of them not approving of my friends/relationships and so gathering a certain amount of resentment to which I then started to ‘rebel against’ never realizing it was all done to myself any ways – which I of course came to realize through walking Mind Constructs.
So after all these years of also getting them used to me calling them by their name, we’ve gotten to  have a cool communication where I can keep seeing and identifying my own experiences toward them, any reactions or such – but mostly I keep looking within myself to see where I can spot my own patterns in them and so whenever I can, assist and support them to to open up and see what is is that might be occupying their
mind
, that is bothering them etc. I have also then been able to learn from them, get to know more about their childhood, how their parents treated them, their own relationships with their parents, their ‘fuckups’ and so forth – I mean it has been quite a healthy process too whereas before I would simply not even talk to them about topics I thought they weren’t interested too. So I also should say that it took a process as well, because the first time I stalked lol ‘talked’ to them about Desteni, my father got so annoyed about me just blurting this information out that he told me he didn’t want to hear anything about it any longer, which I then at such incipient time in my process took it very personal and secluded myself from everyone and everything, something that I recommend Not doing and if I can prevent anyone from doing so, please take it into consideration. We cannot just think that by shutting all our relationships we will ‘walk process better’ – it’s in fact the opposite.

 

So after all these  years I’ve been able to genuinely say ‘I enjoy going out with my parents’ and having them be opening up as well to everything I have to share while also joking about their own reactions and seeing ‘where it comes from’ and identifying each other’s patterns based on how I am in fact ‘their copy’ lol. So, that’s something I have certainly also seen as my point of extending support to others too, who are also the beings that brought me into this world so it is cool to be able to support them back this way, even to the point of getting to talk more about this process with some of their friends, which was also cool and another point of ‘extending the support onto others’ that want to support themselves too.

 

I have also lived by the principle of assisting others the way I would like to be supported. I have been participating in forums, writing, public online discussions, assisting people on a one on one basis within the Desteni I Process where through discussing about this reality we can get to support each other to realize points we hadn’t realized yet, and that’s also what’s so valuable about places like YouTube too, where everyone can publish anything as a statement of ‘this is my contribution to the world’ – I am  thankful for everyone that has made videos, documentaries, vlogs and discussions on points that I have learned from and beginning to apply for myself. Gee, who would I be/would we be without the internet and YouTube?  probably a more intricate evolved model of slaves.

 

Ok, so, I share this day as a glimpse of how through walking this process of self-support one can also open one’s door to share, communicate with others based on the sheer fact of being human beings and speaking the same language in this case. It certainly does create an opening to have people become aware of ways they can support themselves, but it’s not a necessity either. I can speak to people that believe in positive thinking, magic, gods or else and still have a point to communicate about where I simply share my considerations and perspectives about any topic and so through that then open up points that others can decide to further communicate about or not –the point is then not about ‘them hearing’ but me being able to share  with others regardless of ‘their intention’ or else. It’s all about who I am when sharing with others, having the principle before all and have no hidden agendas either  – being frank yet also cautious as to not attack or say something that they can be reactive toward, so measuring my words according to what they also go opening up for themselves.

 

This is then a series of examples that I can tell I have applied to when it comes to the following principle:

 

With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as I would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

 

I can self-honestly say that that ‘extra bit’ every day is not yet fully here as myself, so I do have to see where I can generate more ‘openings’ where I expand and actually establish communication with others, instead of expecting people to just ‘knock on my door’ so to speak.

If all of us did this, we would start seeing how our lives get a new meaning from – as an example but not limited to –  strictly mercantile relationships to actually seeing each other as human beings, for example – and actually considered as a genuine source of change and support. , as it would be then us straightening the very relationships I have toward others.

 

In this case it’s very simple, a certain gratefulness emerges as I have now also ‘offered’ to support them and share with them from ‘what I do’ as they also then provide me a service that I am also quite thankful of based on what they do, how they do it and the care and quality to it. Now imagine how things can be in this world if we all give the best of ourselves to each other – why waiting for freaking ‘holidays’ for spreading some phony idea of ‘love’ and ‘brotherhood’ when  every single day could be a holiday  if we all put in our ‘little grain’ or seed to make our lives be improved for all parties involved. Well, it is not a fantasy to say: things would change for the better, as it can be in fact be done in reality within the seemingly ‘small’ points, but one thing is certain: we cannot fully measure ‘what will emerge’ from these moments, all that we can know is that it is one little step for oneself, but possibly a huge one for man to get to be kind again.

 

So: How to best contribute to each other’s lives? By living the principle of first stabilizing and supporting myself to genuinely be able to say ‘I support you the way I would like to be supported in self honesty’ which means in consideration of you and I being in fact equal and one and aiming to live in a way that is best for all.

 

 

 

Thanks to everyone  at the Farm in South Africa, from where I  learned and got to apply these living principles for the first time among a group of people.

 

Learn more about how to Live by Principle and  become part of the support-structure required in a world that’s going through a massive wake-up call

 

 


394. When Calling out Abuse turns into Abuse itself

When the Offender becomes the Offended

Continuing from:

 

In an attempt to ‘save an animal from suffering’ according to me, I created further consequences which I completely disregarded when I in one moment saw the common sense of feeding a dog that was barking for hours on which I came to find eating his own feces while being short-chained to a pole inside his owner’s house. Little did I consider that I was ‘infringing private property’ when being opened the door by, let’s call it ‘a tenant’ of the owner’s house through which I got access to give food to the dog and so stop him from wailing over hours end. His water covered with a plastic plate and he had begun to lick his own feces to what I believe was to mitigate his hunger.
At the sight of this, I ran to my house and got food for him, gave it to him until I was satisfied that he had stopped wailing/barking asking for food. So, where were the owners? It’s not the first time this happens which is why I decided to ‘take the matter in my own hands’ without realizing that later on I would have the backlash of a threat by the owners, saying I was barging into private property, attacking their child and directly affecting the neighbor that leases the space from the dog owners, who also happens to be a lawyer.

An hour or so afterward  I saw when another member of the house got in and so I ran to tell her how inhumane it is to leave the dog that way and if she would like to be tied to a pole and be so hungry that she would resort to licking her own feces – she agreed it is not. There was a kid with her, around 8-9 years old that is ‘the responsible’ one because he’s got the duty to feed the dog and didn’t feed him because ‘he could not find the scissors.’ I repeated the same thing to him: Would YOU like to be that dog tied to the pole and having no food or water so that you resort to lick and eat your own poo? He said no and so I said then why are you treating your dog that way? Well, apparently the child got scared and complained  to his parents about what I said.

This then turned into a third scenario where I got both parents coming at my door, quite pissed off telling me how dare I talk like that to their child? I repeated the same words, the same expression to them and within the context and reason for it of leaving a dog that certainly has no voice to ask for food without being fed and wailing for hours end to the point where it is unbearable – and I had a live conference starting soon which would come through if he would have remained without eating according to me.

Mother admits ‘You might be right on that’ about not feeding the dog…. BUT! how dare I talk to her child like that? Oh well, I see no problem on that, who else will let the child know the consequences of his irresponsibility if it’s not pointed out by the creators of the child of course, the parents in this case?

 

So here a few points for context. The reality of the matter is that there is an innumerable quantity of beings that are going hungry and just because they don’t bark and wail, I don’t go trying to ‘rescue them.’ The reality is in fact that the noise was so unbearable to me that I reacted to the incessant barking, just like when listening to children being hit and yelled at by the parents next door – but there I cannot go knock the door and ‘save the children’ nor do I want to, because I understand the generational abuse we’ve all become as human beings wherein parents only learn how to ‘educate’ with slaps and screaming at children – but, according to ‘me’ to do this ‘against an animal’ that means an innocent/voiceless individual that cannot have his own lawyer to sue the irresponsible owners for ‘not being fed’ and left alone at home tied with a 50 cms chain to a pole, and so eating his own feces, is simply unacceptable. That is actually the me as the ‘savior’ talking about what I come to become aware of, because this is also happening to human beings and virtually every living being that is being deprived of any form of dignity and living rights, resorting to do the unimaginable just to calm the pain from hunger and finding some form of security – have I then gone and immediately ‘sorted out the problem? No

More so: was my 10 minute visit to the dog to feed him going to solve the problem? No, because I’m not the owner of the dog and as such I have no direct control as to whether he’s going to be fed properly from here on either.

 

What I actually reacted the most is seeing such hideous view of the skinny dog licking his feces, but I would not have known if it hadn’t been initially triggered by the high pitched barking that I was being annoyed with and pondering why is no one seeing what is wrong with him? And yes, it seems it has become part of the ‘soundtrack’ around here wherein it no longer raises questions as to why dogs bark that way – and here it is to realize it is the result of an entire socioeconomic situation where poor/lower class means less ‘education’ about how to educate themselves, their children and consequently how to handle pets/animals and so treating them with the meaning of ‘animal’ which is contextually and culturally accepted as ‘less than’ or less of a living being, which is  perplexing, but I realized this when drawing the parallel between a human and a dog and having people almost not consider at all that the dog is a sentient living being just like themselves …..

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to blame people for being so abusive and inconsiderate to their animals, without placing this situation into context as to  seeing the environment they are living in, the entire socioeconomic and educational context, the information or the lack of it in order to take ‘good care’ of animals wherein I complain about ‘the abuse that others commit unto their animals’ without first considering how it is in fact a collective abuse that I am also a part of as I am also an equal part of everything and everyone that is here

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people as negligent while being angry at them for leaving the dog without any food or accessible water, without realizing that in fact the first trigger was the high pitch barking and that with this sound I was actually first getting annoyed and rather concerned about ‘what could be happening to him that he’s wailing and barking so much?’ which was then in part knowing that he might be hungry, but also wanting him to shut up, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to admit that I actually first got more annoyed by the dog barking than being genuinely concerned about him being unfed as this was only realized afterward when I peeked into the house and saw him licking his feces, which is when I then triggered the anger due to the ‘inconsiderate owners’ that leave their pet to starve – without wanting to draw the parallel for myself to see how I as a member of this humanity, of everything and everyone that is here, I’ve committed the same atrocity in justifying, excusing and accepting the normalcy of poverty, of hunger and of crimes against life that go beyond not providing food to beings, but actually the entire disenfranchisement from each other’s living right to live in dignity, and more so toward the beings we share the Earth with as all the animals that we’ve enslaved for our benefit.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my self to place myself in the character of ‘the savior’ and the ‘good and righteous one’ wherein I absolutely ignored potential consequences of doing what I believe is ‘right’ without considering the current structure and general considerations of the world-system I am still living into, where all ways of avoiding taking responsibility at a legal manner can be used against me, instead of rather recognizing the fault and remediate it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after the event happened I said to myself I haven’t learned a thing, I did it again’ because I had previous experiences of seeing animal abuse specifically toward dogs and then confronting their owners, in which I sometimes placed myself in rather risky situations because of not knowing how the ‘owners’ will react to me confronting them with the question of ‘would you like to be treated like that if you were a dog?’ and so, within this I have to once again realize that even if this time I wasn’t with the owners and believing that I was doing a ‘good thing’ by feeding him, even expecting to be ‘thanked’ by the owners, this is only me and my mind because no one really likes to be told about their mistakes and faults, and so it was rather negligent by myself to involve other individuals in this situation without Any regard to the actual consequences, taking others minds into consideration and this went on just because I only considered ‘feeding the dog’ as a ‘good thing’ and so having him shut up as ‘fulfilling my point’ with the situation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to once again as I was talking to the neighbor, one of the ‘owners’ but not the direct owner of the dog, I went into yelling at the end based on seeing that they didn’t respond in any sort of ‘shame’ or ‘regret’ that I was expecting from them upon hearing that their dog was eating their own feces because he wasn’t fed

I realize that I actually then was attempting to have them react in order to believe that ‘they would feel bad and so learn the lesson to not leave their dog unfed’ – but, the reality is that they seemed to not care that much  about it, and simply responding that no they would not like to be in the dog’s shoes but essentially shutting the door at me, which is why I got yelling and pissed off at them saying I would call to animal services for a legal complain if this went on again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my anger in that moment was justified because ‘they were ignoring me and my complain about THEIR abuse’ which is in fact simply ‘they were ignoring ME’ and so this is why I reacted with anger

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a shocked and rather upset experience when seeing how the owner had taken the point I explained about the dog and how they used it only to come and ‘get back at me’ for apparently attacking their child, which is obviously non sense if by ‘attack’ they mean me asking the boy if he’d like to be tied to a pole and having to eat his feces as food for lacking any real food – within this pondering what can be so shocking about a human doing that if they are allowing their dog to do that, so why are dogs not seen as equals as humans? Not realizing that in this assessment I was rather naively considering that human beings regularly see animals as equals to humans, which is really not the case yet at all, so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off at the mother of the child when my words were seen as an ‘attack’ because of describing the scene of their dog and placing their son in the position of the dog as a parallel to understand his irresponsibility,  which to me seems like the most normal thing to do, but I ‘forgot’ to consider other human beings’ mentalities where they do not yet see and consider animals as one and equal to human beings and instead parents take any word given to their children very personally, so

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually look back at myself and how I once was also a child that was taught to leave dogs outside and really see them as beings I had to consider as inferior even though I actually thought they would also ‘feel’ – which in turn got me into believing that dogs shouldn’t be eating along with humans, dogs shouldn’t be sitting on tables or any other animal for that matter and seeing them as ‘filthy’ because that is what I also as a child got to learn about animals and so also then creating my own superiority and inferiority scheme toward animals myself.

I realize that to me it has taken a long process to be able to equalize myself to animals, to pass from the fear toward animals, the disgust toward animals, to the consideration of animals as equals as myself. Therefore what I’ve also pondered is how by me reacting in such a way toward certain situations of animal abuse, it is me really trying to make up for my previous ideas and beliefs of animals being inferior, filthy, less worthy beings than human beings which is how I was taught to treat animals as well, therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize the dog in an attempt to make the owners feel bad about their dog, without realizing that in this only managing the situation at an emotional level, I am only trying to manipulate people to consider common sense while wanting them to feel bad about it, instead of realizing that I could have explained it within a more stable manner which is where I still have to work on when it comes to seeing a point of abuse and not justifying my anger due to ‘the abuse’ as this will only put people’s guard on and so create an even greater conflict, instead of having managed the situation in a much more subtle and calmed-down manner, which means in stability, pointing out the situation without directly ‘blaming’ them.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my anger toward neighbors based on the abuse that I see that they have imposed onto their dog as a result of what I’ve called negligence and simple carelessness toward their dog, without realizing that I through this judgment I then separate myself from the abuse imposed, not realizing that I have also been negligent toward life in many many forms and ways on a daily basis, even in an unawareness point as I am a part of everything and everyone that is here and this world is nothing else but the equation of abuse that we are all living in and co-existing in because we have are so separated from life itself, that we are barely or not even aware at all of all the consequences and abuse that we cause each other on a daily basis, not only through evident things like leaving over 30 thousand children to starve each day, but the multiple relationships of abuse with which we have ensured we don’t even regard, consider each other as equals to begin with, like money as a belief system that supports inequality and greed for example.

 

I realize that by becoming so enraged with a point of abuse, I am only utilizing it as a point to lash out on my own accumulated anger at the problems, the abuse that I see around here and had accumulated from hearing the neighbors yelling or probably hitting their children, alcohol abuse, no regard toward neighbors, no regard toward having animals in a suitable condition and generally the complacency and law of least effort that I have judged this environment I’m living in with, wherein I continually ‘lose faith in humanity’ when observing at people’s actions, words, bodies, deeds, ways of interacting and so within this building up an unspoken frustration and annoyance about ‘them’ and ‘the world’ without realizing that such experiences only exist within me first and so they are MY responsibility to take care of and stop fueling within me such experiences, and so continue directing myself to be a point of support for any individual that does want to support and assist themselves as myself to become better human beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be affected by my environment at the level wherein I act irrationally and not consider all outflows and potential points that could open up by me doing something that ‘I’ have defined as ‘good’ and as something that will benefit a suffering individual, without realizing that in this, I am in fact only looking at me-myself and actually my self-interest because I have only wanted to ensure that I can get the dog quiet and get the environment without so much noise that was coming from various parts, which I have taken as an excuse to get angry at the noise that actually only bothers me in fact, therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by noises like dogs barking, music from neighbors and so not really being entirely living up to my commitments to remain stable while listening to noises around me, and allowing me to be unsettled when children cry, when dogs bark, when music is on and so going into a victimized state of ‘the environment that annoys me’ instead of realizing that the reactions all stem from me and as such I am the only one that can take responsibility for myself to remain stable without being affected by noises outside.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into guilt within the possibility of the child really feeling attacked by me, and in this realizing that guilt does nothing but instead the actual solution would be to simply let go of it and rather confront the child and explain why I said such words and as such be able to explain that my intention was not that of an attack, but rather of a direct illustration of what his dog was going through just because he couldn’t feed him.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘bash’ myself with all the past 3 memories of talking directly to dog owners about the abuse that I saw they were inflicting on their dogs, wherein I simply believe that ‘I can’t stop myself’ from doing something upon witnessing such dog abuse’ – though, if I look at it closely, this entire reality is in fact the sole manifestation of abuse and harm and neglect toward one another at levels that have become unfortunately invisible to all of us, therefore I realize that I am an equal part of this collective negligence that I’ve simply attached an emotional reaction to in order to make myself the ‘righteous’ one, the one that ‘sees the abuse’ specifically keeping an irregular eye on ‘dogs’ and ‘dog abuse’ without realizing that I am doing nothing really when it comes to first stopping the abuse within myself completely as the emotional reaction upon abuse, and so giving myself a moment to consider the ‘greater perspective’ and the context of such point of ‘abuse’ so that I can consider all the outcomes, possible outflows of me exposing a point of abuse within the confrontation with the owners.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where beings can be ‘owned’ and as such being so separate from everything that is here that dogs cannot even be heard or understood by people, which is yet another outflow of us only living in our little bubbles in the mind in self-interest which is then where I see my point of abuse actually still exists in.

 

Here I have to realize that I am in this world system wherein there are greater ways to ‘get back at someone’ for something, rather than doing any real form of ‘justice’ as we haven’t even really lived justice within ourselves as individuals that have a mind and a body that should exist within the alignment and principle of what is best for all, and we haven’t done that at all just yet – therefore, how can I ask such principles and considerations to others if I haven’t yet lived by those myself?

Now, within the context of the abuse toward the dog. It is so, it is a form of abuse however there could have been other ways for me to expose the situation and solve the problem, therefore:

When and as I see myself building up a reaction of annoyance upon hearing the dog barking and wailing and having an experience of frustration and irritation about the dog’s sound – I stop myself, and I breathe – and I practice on remaining stable so as to not make the dog’s sound a ‘noise’ within myself as something ‘disturbing’ and instead focus on how I can rather be stable within me regardless of dogs barking, babies/children crying incessantly or loud music playing around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just now think ‘that’s a real challenge’ which in this I am already ‘giving into ‘ failing at my correction and believing that the noises, dogs barking loudly and incessantly, babies crying and children yelling incessantly is something ‘I just cannot stop reacting to’ which is here then believing that my mind and my reactions are more powerful than my ability to remain stable which then is something that I have to commit myself to prove to myself, that I can remain stable even with the most constant sounds around me, which is something I haven’t yet fully committed myself to live by.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define children crying as annoying and irritable, without considering that in fact what I get most reactive about is the behaviors and abuse that triggers it such as parents hitting or yelling at the children – and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react at a situation of parental abuse, without realizing that this is a point that will take time to sort out in humanity as we’ve lived generation after generation with the same patterns and mentality of parents as children’s authority and that ‘education’ equals yelling, hitting, screaming, threatening and instilling fear, which is pretty much the way the entire world system operates wherein we’ve learned that we can only exist within a relationship of oppression and having to obey upon the threat of punishment.

Therefore I realize that I have to stop reacting to any point of abuse either toward animals or children as the most evident forms of abuse that I see around me, because within this I am also singling them out and neglecting the overall abuse that we create and participate in every single day beginning with the participation in the dictatorship of my mind, my experiences and belief systems that affect each other equally, such as the money system, the political system, the self-religion systems and personalities in which we have all abdicated our responsibility to life and instead have kept each other in bubbles, fighting each other instead of realizing that the more we fight and complain and get angry at each other, the more we miss out the point of recognizing a point of abuse as ourselves and so focusing on rather creating ways to make each other aware of the situation, create solutions and recognize equal responsibility to all forms of abuse that we tend to ‘point out’ only toward others, neglecting the fact that it is oneself doing and imposing such abuse, as we are all in fact one and equal.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to go and ‘solve a problem’ wherein I have to  practically go an enter someone else’s house and intend to give food to a dog I don’t know even his eating habit, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am in fact becoming possessed by my urgency to simply ‘get rid of the barking’ which happens in a similar manner when I attempt to go and ask neighbors to shut up, because I have to now consider what invading private property is and the consequences thereof, who I get involved into my desire to ‘solve the problem’ and as such cause them conflicts and potential loss just because of wanting them to be participating in what I see is a ‘good deed’ such as feeding a hungry dog and ignoring even the fact that I was really not allowed in with permission, nor did I consider the fact that the dog could have been allergic to some of the foods I gave him.

Therefore I commit myself to rather first stabilize myself, ensure that I am stable instead of acting based on reaction or wanting to get rid of ‘the annoyance’ – then I can if I see that the dog is barking incessantly, then I can go and knock the door and ask politely if the dog is doing well because I hear him barking and wailing too much. If the owners are not at home, then I simply have to wait and see if they arrive – if not then I can ask other neighbors around to see if they know what to do in such cases or if there is anyone that is allowed to feed the animal. If not, then I would resort to asking the same neighbors to simply give him something to eat, and not enter myself into the house. If this doesn’t work and the situation is going on for several hours then I will call animal services to ask for them as a legal authority to witness the point of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within me wanting to ‘call out a point of abuse’ I actually also involved others that initially would not have involved themselves in the situation, and all because I heard the dog barking loudly and I wanted some silence because I required to record. I realize that I have to be able to slow myself down even when I am witnessing the most hideous form of abuse going on and to ensure I am not acting based on reaction or desperation and justifying my ‘doing all I can’ due to seeing a point of abuse, as in that I am not measuring the contextual consequences, but only looking within the limited range scope of ‘soothing the animal’s pain’ and also having him shut up, which is the point of self interest that I also commit myself to not react to, and instead place the point of abuse into context, seeing beyond the most ‘obvious’ forms of abused I’ve usually made it ‘normal’ to react to, such as abuse toward children from their parents and abuse toward animals, mostly dogs by their owners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word ‘abuse’ as negative and within this charge then justifying any and all actions that I then ‘take on’ in order to stop this point of defined abuse with a negative charge, which means that in this, what I will do to ‘fix the problem’ is charged in a positive manner, without realizing that I am only reacting to the situation at an emotional level and as such not really placing into context the point of abuse and who is involved so that I can first dialogue with people and whoever is involved in the situation, before making the abrupt and rather irresponsible decisions that do have consequences that I had not at all considered, such as people complaining about barging into private property and threatening with a legal case upon this, which is of course another form of instilling fear which is the same fear we have become so used to reacting in order to comply to the roles we have endowed with a form of ‘superiority’ and ‘power’ over others, such as lawyers

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in the moment when I heard the father saying that he’s a lawyer go into a reaction of fearing consequences if he decides to act upon the situation, not realizing that this fear only comes from the idea of a lawyer and how as a child I would see the lawyers as the defenders of either the ‘bad side’ or ‘the good side’ according to who’s paying them and so, going into later on the whole reaction toward the ‘justice’ that exists in this world where the ones that have the most influences and positions of power are the ones that will most likely decide ‘who is right’ and ‘who’s the culprit’ based on convenience without any real common sense and consideration for the people.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with disbelief when it comes to realizing how a point of ‘calling out the abuse on another’ suddenly turned into a potential consequence for me, without realizing that in this I am participating into fear of ‘what will happen’ but also, neglecting the first point of abuse which is what is the main point within this all which is what triggered all the other reactions which is: animal abuse

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to be angry toward animal abuse, not realizing that animals as every other part of this reality and existence are also part of myself, my responsibility and so it is not to see only as ‘certain individuals’ as the culprits within this, but rather understand the relationships of abuse that we’ve created within the very words we speak, and so within the systems we create with which we have allowed ourselves to be directed and controlled by, just because we had all neglected and not even considered taking responsibility for ourselves and our own creation.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to access the memories of previous moments where I witnessed dog abuse and use that as a way to bash me and say how I haven’t changed at all because I still reacted to the dog being abused, without realizing that in this I am neglecting everything else of myself and bashing me because of ‘failing’ at applying myself within the correction of not giving into anger upon witnessing animal abuse – specifically dogs being abused by their owners – and remaining stable – which is then something that I do not have to feel bad about, but simply see where and how I am still missing that moment, that point of stopping myself from wanting to expose the abuse or take the matter into my own hands, as that is essentially also based on solving the abuse so that ‘I’ don’t have to either witness it or ‘feel bad about it’ or be ‘annoyed’ by it, which is then once again proof that I have mostly only cared about that which directly affects me and that it is within this selfishness that the ‘caring for another living being’ also started.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel better’ about myself after feeding the dog, as if that was going to ‘change the dog’s life’ or reality when in fact I gave it from the starting point of wanting him to shut up and so stopping licking his own feces, which is something that still isn’t entirely based on ‘supporting another’ but rather stemming from me and my need for the dog to keep quiet, which is self-interest.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an authority that can ‘call on’ abuse to others upon witnessing it, without realizing that I haven’t yet become that for myself absolutely and so I am in no way able to be the ‘authority’ toward others and believe that I am ‘doing the right thing’ when my starting point for calling out the abuse is to actually inflict some fear and regret so that they can actually change, therefore I realize that If I create a reaction within people, then there’s less possibility for them to actually listen to that point as they go into defense mode, therefore

When and as I see myself wanting to talk to another about a point of abuse I consider is ‘their responsibility’ I stop and I breathe and I look at how I can approach the situation in a way wherein I place myself in their shoes as well and approach them the way I would like to be approached if  I was the one creating such problem. This doesn’t mean be too condescending either, but simply without the tonality of being demanding and showing anger at them in an attempt to make them feel bad, but rather in a very direct and stable manner point out the abuse, then see if they/we would want to be in the shoes of dogs and so consider that next time they plan on leaving the house – which is then giving context to the abuse and seeing the importance of taking care of animals. I did manage to do this at first but upon seeing their reactions, I then escalated the drama to make them react so

When and as I see myself wanting to see people feeling bad and feel guilty about their actions, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within this I compromise myself upon wanting people to react which in turn I use to escalate the situation by becoming angry ‘at them’ which won’t change the situation at all – therefore I only focus on remaining stable no matter how hideous the situation is, as I now have to take into consideration them, their minds, their ability to ‘get back at me’ if they feel offended as well and so I ensure I do not attack, do not show emotion but simply point out the abuse for what it is in stability.

 

I realize that I might say ‘well they should have known by now how to care about the animal’ but, how many times have I told myself I have to be ‘stable when witnessing animal abuse’ and still fell for the reaction of it and even if I was more stable, still justifying my actions within the context of doing a favor for the owners and the dog and also as an attempt to stop the dog from barking which was the reason why I felt that I could not wait any longer for me to establish proper communication with the owners of the dog.

 

When and as I see myself reacting upon dog abuse /animal abuse,. I stop and I breathe – I commit myself to place this abuse into context and realizing that I have reduced ‘abuse’ to only children and animals, without realizing that it is all our relationships that exist at the moment as they exist are founded upon abuse. Therefore, I commit myself to stop diminishing abuse to a few living beings and instead rather place into context the abuse, how and why it exists, take into consideration other people’s minds, their predictable reactions and really consider all of this before making any decision on what I will do to stop or prevent the situation, otherwise I become part of the chain of abuse wherein my ‘calling out for abuse’ is then seen as an abuse in itself, based on the reaction that I created at the end of my complain, which is how I also realize that emotions will only ever escalate and complicate the problems and offer no solutions at all.

 

Therefore I commit myself to remain stable whenever I witness any point of abuse as I realize that if I react, then I miss out the actual moment to contextualize the point of abuse, see who is involved, assess what I am aiming at doing about it, how I could get potentially affected in a vendetta manner if calling out such abuse and also ensure that as I communicate with those directly involved in the point of abuse, I remain stable and considerate toward their own reactions, their minds, their beliefs, their contexts which I might not be fully looking at, understanding or even conceiving at the moment.

 

I commit myself to mostly practice remaining stable and in self-honesty whenever I hear the dogs barking and wailing incessantly, when children or babies are crying, when loud music is playing as all of these are points that lead to a form of abuse linked to it such as parental abuse with the crying and alcohol/drug abuse with the loud music, which is where I then have to stop judging such habits and behaviors, and instead rather stop my own emotions that are in fact the same source and cause of the emotional experiences and behaviors I am in fact initially reacting about.

 

I realize that yes, any abuse is always self abuse and so reacting with an energetic experiences Is in fact the first abuse – but even if one is stable while ‘calling out the abuse,’ it’s very important to consider the ‘offender’s’ mentality, their possible reactions and also stick to ‘the margin’ when it comes to not getting into people’s houses if not being directly invited in for example and now integrate possible legal consequences within everything that I do as that’s another way in which we have imprisoned ourselves in our system: through a two tier justice system where real crimes against humanity are not even part of the ‘files’ in courts around the world, but have only reduced abuse to the one we see ourselves as human beings being affected by, without realizing that it is actually not about ‘me’ but about everything, everyone, each relationship we form that determines the nature of ‘our ways’ in which we relate to other human beings, animals and this entire world that is equally alive.

 

 

To learn more on how to prevent and stop Self-Abuse, visit:


385. The Most Important Job in the World: Parenting

 

A Review & Commentary on the Documentary ‘The Naked Room’/El Cuarto Desnudo (México, 2013)

Throughout this process I’ve realized that the most important job that exists is that of being a parent. As I go understanding the fabric of our society, I can see directly how the lack of parenting skills or even the inability to know what these are or should be reflects back to our society, shaping each one of us into the individuals that at the same time, create the nature of the ‘world-system’ as is, because when we talk about ‘the world’ it’s not really the Earth, the living beings other than humans that are the problem – the whole and sole problem is who we have become as human beings and how we have shaped, modified and distorted reality through and by our mind as a consequence of lacking any efficient education and parental guidance while we are brought up in this world, which in turn affects every other part of our reality as well.

So in essence, we’ve lacked the skills to support ourselves as the units of our society to grow strong, healthy, stable and with clear directives in our lives and as a result, this society is the mirror of the lack and/or misguidance of parenting skills.

 

El cuarto desnudo/The naked room from AMBULANTE on Vimeo.

“The naked room” shows a whole world without leaving a single space: the examination room in a children’s hospital in Mexico City. Listening to the children, their parents and the doctors during consultations allows us to have a more profound and complex view of our social reality and of human nature.

 

I watched the documentary ‘The Naked Room/ El Cuarto Desnudo’ some weeks ago, here’s part of a synopsis I found about it:

The Naked Room exposes the complex and hard situations that are the consequence of something as simple as a kid wishing for a more loving brother. Also, the behavior of people with a mental disorder, a condition that always affects the loved ones (sometimes even physically). Ibáñez has not created a documentary to be enjoyed by everybody per se, I mean, we’re dealing with a brutal theme in a very direct way, with no pauses; it’s a constant display of human sadness and mental problems.

It can be easily described as a depressing film, after all it’s a natural view to the life of several persons, and some of their closest relatives, whose hopelessness has lead (some of them) to go as far as attempting to take their own lives. In a way, The Naked Room is here to explain the “why” behind suicide or self-harming, specifically when the problem happens to a kid or a teenager. What’s great about Ibáñez’s film is the fact that she is not trying to explain anything by interviewing doctors and relatives or using information from other sources. The doc is simply crafted: it’s entirely based on footage obtained from a series of meetings between psychiatrics and patients.

Ibáñez knew that showing those conversations was enough for a thought-provoking piece. All she had to do was place the camera at the right spot and then working inside the editing room. And the camerawork is really interesting and precise; firstly, it only follows the patients, hence some scenes are just fascinating: observing the facial expressions of the children while their respective relative is talking with the doctor brings a unique feeling, as the conversations deal with nothing childish, indeed.

For about half an hour we don’t see the same patient more than once, so The Naked Room engages you. The audience will want to know what’s behind, for instance, a problematic kid whose father has threatened to abandon him in the streets. There are many patients involved, so when each one of them appears again, you might be a bit confused, not remembering who is who; that could have been a flaw related to the structure, but the confusion is always temporal.

And, ultimately, the diversity only helps the documentary to be thematically richer. It can be seen as an exploration of teenagers, with such themes exposed as insecurity and social rejection, but that’s just one of its layers. The Naked Room is, simply, one of the strongest Mexican films of the year (my personal favorite from the Morelia documentary selection), even when it’s simply crafted, like I said, and very short (less than 70 minutes).”

Read more: http://twitchfilm.com/2013/10/morelia-2013-review-the-naked-room-el-cuarto-desnudo-a-powerful-display-of-sadness-and-insanity.html#ixzz2wu4eXQg1

 

The constant identification of parental patterns being transmitted onto children, the lack of creating supportive familial relationships and living environment, the lack of money to have proper nutrition, healthcare, education themselves, the fact that some parents didn’t want their children in the first place, the fact that they resort to hitting them for not complying to do what they asked them to do, the physical and verbal abuse between parents, the divorces and separations that affect a child’s ability to learn and interact with others properly, the lack of sexual orientation support, the threats used as a way to establish discipline that are depicted as part of the reasons why the kids in this documentary develop mental instability, can all be traced back to the parents and the unfortunate lack of skills, information and education on how to deal with their own lives, their marriage/relationships and in turn how to be a mother or a father.

In turn, parents have only learned to react to seeing the problem that their children develop as something born out of the blue, which is the position of becoming a victim to their children’s mental instability in the form of worry and preoccupation due to not knowing ‘what is going on with their children?’ without realizing that their role is inevitably implied within what their children are experiencing as well. However, can we talk about it solely being ‘their fault’?

 

nakedroom1

 
Understanding Who We Are as The Mind

Parents were educated in turn by their own parents and consequently the same has happened to those parents as well, which means that the parent-child relationship is the essential relationship that has shaped (ruined) the way that we develop ourselves as human beings. You might react and say ‘not me’ and I could as well, but the fact is that even if one can consider oneself having ‘good parents’ or ‘supportive parents’ the moment that there’s no principle of support to understand the mind, the feelings, the emotions, the ‘who am I’ as the mind and assist with the integration of physical living words that we can live as a decision, a self-directive process that one directs oneself to express as a Living Principle, one is already missing out the most important aspects of our relationship to ourselves, others and in turn the ‘who we are’ and will become as we come of age in this world – instead, we’ve been brought up with mechanisms that use fear, control, violence, abuse, threats in order to establish some sense of discipline and direction, as well as happiness, rewards, ‘love’ and the illusion thereof as ways to create the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ definitions that we’ve limited ourselves by, going all the time attempting to be ‘happy’ and/or dreaming of reaching an eternal happiness without even understanding how that is also a mindjob essentially. We’ve only learned to ‘cope with reality’ by reacting to the environment, to another’s words, to take things personal, to seek revenge, to be spiteful and that is of course already a massive fault in parental skills.

Not to blame ‘them’ though…

The reality is that we’ve never ever had such skills, because we had not ever before understood who we are as the mind, how it is that we are separated from our physical body through and by the mind which is a Mind Consciousness System, a design, a programmed patterned system that generates thoughts, feelings, emotions and through this our behavior, personality, fears, reactions, beliefs, etc. that we have adopted and believed is ‘who we are.’ In this documentary we can see this reality as spectators of a glimpse of how far one can experience one’s emotions and feelings to the extent of wanting to die just because there is no proper medical support, assessment or understanding of what the mind is, what our emotions is, how the patterns that we’ve acquired from parents are imbued from the moment of conception, and at birth we are directly influenced by every single word that parents speak, every single move, every single experience that parents have within themselves while being with the child – and this I am almost certain only an excruciating minority of parents have taken into consideration.

 

it is so damn clear in this documentary how the fact that we have taken our minds personally and others’ reactions personally, while being unable to understand Why such patterns of aggression, violence, harm, hatred exist and are coming from ‘those’ that should have ‘cared’/‘educated us’ to be able to live in this world the best way possible, which is what creates the traumatic experiences within children  that evolve to become ‘mental illnesses’ because of our inability as parents to stand as living principles for them, to become all of us in society a living example of how to live, interact and direct oneself in this world. This has been our ‘missing link’ in the relationship between parents and children, but also in our society as a whole.

 

The-Naked-Room

 

The First Seven Years of Your Life

At Desteni it’s been explained how the time-frame of development from ages 0-7 is crucial in our development because that’s where the ‘programming’ process of the mind takes place, activating all the pre-existent patterns coming from parents, integrating new ones from the child’s interaction with their immediate environment – which are most of the times, parents or any other ‘parental figure’ –

“The inheritance and transference of the survival skills from both your parents takes place when the entire mind consciousness system develops within you within the mother’s womb together with your physical development. The copying and duplication of the survival skills from both your parents takes place through your observations, interactions and participations with your parents’ as the parent/child relationship develops during your childhood years (from two to three years up to the age of thirteen years).”

Veno – Structural Resonance – Part 2 – Phase 5

 

This means that the direct effect of our words, thoughts, behavior and emotional or feeling participation is imprinted onto children from such early stage of their lives, with them being like a virgin cd that one is about to literally ‘burn’ with information that they will simply then replay, adjust and ‘upgrade’ throughout their entire lives.  That is the magnitude and importance of the responsibility we have toward every individual that is born into this world: the world we have for them at their arrival will become the program, the structure, the patterns they’ll accept as ‘how things are’ with the possibility of only changing them once that they’ve walked their own lives, their consequences and decide for themselves to change what they have learned up to that point, which is the process of Self-Honesty and Self Responsibility that we are walking here at Desteni.

 

So, while watching the documentary El Cuarto Desnudo I could understand for example what has been explained in the  Spite series of interviews at Eqafe in relation to Self-Harm. Some of the kids in the documentary attempting to commit suicide, cut/punch/harm  as a response to the disbelief they had of having their parents attacking them, insulting them, not giving them all the necessary attention, hitting them, abusing them in various ways as well as managing them with ‘fear’ which in result, in a helpless attitude of ‘I just don’t know what to do with her/him anymore, doctor!’ which to a young child it doesn’t make sense that your parent, your ‘guide’ is becoming your own worst enemy or an inept person to take proper care of you and as such, even if they say ‘they care for you’ or they ‘love you’ they are still not being supportive at all in the situation… doesn’t make sense isn’t it?

And no, it won’t make sense. And this is the point we’ve missed all along and that can actually support, assist parental relationships to entirely change because what hasn’t been understood is how the Mind operates, how the mechanisms of creation of energy as emotions, thoughts, feelings is what has become the directive principle, the sole ‘director’ of ourselves to the extent that we comply to such mind/thoughts/feelings/emotions absolutely ignoring our physical bodies, the living flesh that we are and that we should never ever harm in order to ‘relieve’ some sort of emotional or feeling experience which comes from a constant struggle and inner conflict to ‘cope’ with what’s going on up there in the mind, because the children look perfectly ‘healthy’ at a physical level, but in the mind they are certainly completely possessed and this is a clear testimony for us to see what the mind does to the physical body and why it is so important to take responsibility for our minds, our bodies and completely take both into consideration before continuing inflicting any harm or abuse upon oneself, only acting upon what we ‘feel’ or experience as thoughts, emotions in the mind.

In the documentary, almost every child would cut/harm themselves, and I’m talking about Children here –  which becomes a form of self-spite: anger toward oneself so that it becomes a way to spite the parents, which doesn’t make sense to spite oneself in an attempt to get another’s attention or ‘get back at’ someone when one is being ‘attacked’ by another, as that will then in turn become the attack and abuse onto oneself, the very same attack that one can be complaining about is coming from parents.  However because children are not taught how to deal with the emotions they have at a mind level, the only way to ‘cope’ with this inner turmoil which becomes self-hate is to resort to self-destruction. Do ‘they’ really want to do it? No, it’s who they are as the mind that want to harm themselves, just because the amount of energy continued to be thought of and used up by the individual is too extensive for the child to stop and get back to physical reality to understand how one is abusing one’s own body and in essence doing onto themselves what they were complaining that others were doing onto them at first – and this is how the ‘chain’ of self-abuse is continued.

 

EPSON scanner image

 

 

Learning from the Parents

With friction and conflict stemming from their family/environment situation, children learn to ‘cope’ with the constant conflictive and problematic situations with their own emotions generated as a reaction to things they see in their environment, things they are unfortunately done onto, and not having any way to stand up or stop participating in these automated reactions in the mind. And these can obviously be of a wide variety of factors, such as lack of money/education that turns into a poor household where parents have to work to make a living for the entire day – being left with other family members that might turn abusive, that might not properly care after them – sometimes the parents/relatives resorting to alcohol/drugs to cope with stress, to mitigate hunger, to mitigate family abuse, being depressed, being in the verge of financial bankruptcy…. there’s also marriage disruption, physical and verbal abuse between parents, abuse from parents to child which turns into children then hitting the parents/spiting the parents, desperation from parents for not knowing what to do with them and so children see themselves as being ‘a problem’ a ‘drag’ to the parents to the extent that they reason it’s best to die/commit suicide than continue living – and this may come from parents expressing them that ‘they don’t know what to do with them any longer’ or how ‘they wished they had never been born’  which once again, to a child and even if you the reader  never got told this, placing ourselves in the shoes of children being told this, it is mostly obvious that there will be a reaction of feeling worthless, not desired, not loved, inferior and this remains as permanent rejection throughout their lives unless they encounter support while growing up to not take such words personally, but understand how they come from parental distress, desperation, not knowing ‘what to do’ with their own lives and in turn not knowing what to do with their children.

 

There might emerge a desire to blame parents for that – but blame once again would lead us to miss out the point here. Blaming, holding grudge, being constantly mad, angry, frustrated at parents or even hating them is only the outflow of not getting a supportive, comforting and adequate parental support for the parents themselves to begin with while they were in the position of being the children. And one would say, yes, it makes sense to be angry for not getting that – but, this is where I implore you to consider the ‘greater context’ which is how I assisted myself to – within and after the documentary ended – be able to clearly see where the surges of blame or anger toward parents were coming from and immediately understand how it is necessary to see the ‘greater context’ to take all points into consideration to understand such parental and children relationships throughout our entire history.

The key here is understanding a very, very important point: All can be Self-Forgiven and Must be Self-Forgiven in order to stop holding on to the grudges created from children to parents and vice-versa if we truly want to change the world.

 

Human Chains (pic)

 

No ‘parent’ knows How to be a Parent.

No person is born knowing How to be a parent, a self supportive and adequate one, how to become an example for your child to ‘look up to’ because No Human Being has EVER been such Living Example for oneself or for others – yet. Sure there have been great personalities in the world that were ‘great men and women,’ but even that one can notice that people in politics or social change in the world such as Mandela for example, when his daughters were interviewed they were proud of him for the principles he stood for, but as a parent they had no further comment other than really not knowing ‘him’ as such, because he had not really been around with them….. point to ponder.

So, the problem is in fact not that we haven’t learned ‘how to be a parent’ but how to be a Living Human Being. We have only been mind-robots driven by thoughts, feelings, emotions, not knowing ‘how’ to cope with them, how to direct them because we entirely accepted ‘who we are’ as our mind and so, what happens is that the moment that we Identify ourselves with the mind as ‘Who we are’ entirely without any possibility of change, that’s where we dissociate ourselves from our ability to be self-directive which means, realizing that everything that we’ve become is the byproduct of generation after generation of human beings that have not known how to direct/deal with one’s thoughts, feelings and emotions – in essence with one’s mind – but only learned from certain religious and moral dogmas and ‘authorities’ that became only ways to control people through fear, or control through the illusion of ‘love’ which is another point I have had previously discussed.

 

 

What does being a Living Human Being mean?

The self that we all have and can become the moment that we start living and applying the realization that one has to honor, support, care, develop and nurture oneself to become an example of what it is to act, do and speak what is best for oneself and everyone else as equals. Becoming the Living Word, the Living Example for oneself and others to follow as the norm, the way, the law of our being in which we can trust ourselves and each other to realize that no matter what: I honor, consider, support and care for myself , I stand as my own support and as such, stand as support for and toward everything/everyone else as myself, as life, as equals. This is the standard, this is how we can genuinely ‘change the world.’

So because we have failed to live this way with and for ourselves, the consequence is and has been that all our relationships have failed to be fruitful and bloom into a world that we can all be genuinely ‘happy’ to live in. With understanding this premise of the ‘legacy’ we have in terms of the ‘human nature’ as the mind, the generation after generation passing of ‘the sins of the fathers’ it then becomes much easier to understand why a human being that has taken the role of being a parent has failed to become a living example for his/her children, because the consideration of being a Living Human Being has never existed – yet we do have all the potential of each one of us becoming such living example of being the human beings that we all know we can be and become – and this is where our responsibility resides: to ensure that we can be the example of how the so-called ‘human nature’ is able to be self-forgiven, stopped, self corrected and changed.

 

This understanding that I just shared here in written words is what I used to then see, realize and understand and self forgive the surges of any emotions that could have been accumulated while watching the documentary, and through this understanding rather seeing this documentary not only as presentation of the problems we have within children at a mental level – instead, it also becomes a  motivation to see once again for myself that there is just SO much that is required to get done in relation to education in this world, so much to be understood about the mind, who we are as the mind and how we can in fact support each other to assist those children to change and solve their experiences… but most importantly the Parents of those and any other children to prevent ‘The Naked Rooms’ around the world where children attempt to get support from psychiatrists, while not even being aware of the root and cause of the problem: ourselves as individuals, as human beings that have never lived to the best of our potential – but have only ‘coped’ with reality through and as a mind system that generates constant friction and conflict as the experience of ‘living.’ And to grasp this there’s quite a lot of understanding and information to self-educate oneself about this, which I will provide at the end of this blog.

 

 

Self Forgiving the Sins of the Parents 

Once one understands how ‘who we are’ is the reflection of what we’ve always been since the beginning of ourselves as humanity, we can truly see that there is no other way out of our hatred, our anger, our despair, our grudges, our laments, our grief toward parents, children, relatives or authority figures other than applying the principle of Self Forgiveness. Without Self-Forgiveness it would be very difficult to come to a resolution about any form of abuse that one has experienced through one’s life, whether from parents or anyone else. So I suggest to dissolve the word tag of ‘parent’ for a moment and just see ourselves as human beings, not being born knowing ‘how to live’ and ‘how to be self-directive in our mind’  and begin applying Self-Forgiveness for allowing ourselves to be driven by thoughts, emotions, feelings, reactions wherein as a child, one has no further idea as to what is being experienced within self – all the fear, the worry, the stress, the anger, the rage,the hate that is formed at home toward parents, siblings, teachers, schoolmates, all of it existing within self without proper direction other than medicines and ‘cures’ that don’t take into consideration the source and core of the problem: the who we are and have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind.

 

I’ve noticed that one of the most difficult things to do for children/people that have been abused by others – whether they are parents, siblings, relatives, schoolmates, etc. – is the ability to self-forgive, to absolutely take into consideration and understand why the other individual abuses, take into consideration their entire life, their entire upbringing, their social and economic background, their habits/addictions, their ‘modus vivendi’ and experiences and how they too also didn’t know at the same time HOW to deal with their own minds, and how it is the same for all of us – not a single one left without a mark – of passing this unresolved understanding of who we are as human beings from generation after generation up to the point where our ‘fuckups’ are escalating to the extent that one can only look at 3 year olds – or even earlier than that now –to already see the patterns they mirror of the parents and the generations that have gone before us.

One could say: well how come they learn to manipulate, to spite, to be envious and selfish, to be depressive, to be sensitive, to be angry, to hit others to get what they want, to treat others as superior or inferior, to like and dislike, to be a stubborn… and yes, a child is the entire reflection of the parents and of humanity in its entirety for that matter that only develops the rest of the pre-installed programming through the interactions with parents and the environment. And because it is only now that we are understanding these mechanisms that exist within the mind in the physical and the vital importance that this mind and physical relationship has in our upbringing, it means that we still have a lot to do in this world in order to make each one of us aware of this process, how to direct it, how to support ourselves so that we can start establishing solutions and a new educational process where we can change the world by changing humanity, which means: changing the way that we educate ourselves as human beings, which implies at the same time that the relationship between parents and children is the one we have to focus on, as it will be the guideline and blueprint for all other relationships developed by the child throughout their/our entire lives.

 

This also thus ties in with the previous blog entry wherein I explained to the people that first didn’t want to hear how it is about time that we STOP the patterns that we’ve continued from generation after generation in relation to the abuse of ‘educating children’ by hitting them, or teaching them to ‘fight/attack back’ upon abuse or become spiteful and vengeful… all of this MUST GO and Must be stopped by ourselves as the parents, the family members, the teachers, the siblings, the people around kids to become the examples of the way we can Always direct ourselves in a way that is best for everyone: self supportive, considerate, being able to communicate effectively, being the living words of the principles we want our children to embody as well and as such, children will learn by default  – from their very first interactions in a world where we all act and live by principle of what is best for all and as such, by default, learn how to live by principles too.

It is only an excuse and negligence to say that the human can’t change, that we can only resort to psychologists or psychiatrists – this is unacceptable. What we require is to apply a New understanding and vision of who we are as human beings in order to support every single being that comes into this world to adopt the new living ways that we can begin living within ourselves individually and in the ‘without’ as the way the world system operates. For that, investigate the Living Income Guaranteed to provide support for parents to have sufficient time to stay at home implementing the new education available for parents and for any other individual –regardless of being a parent or not – at the DIP Lite course for free.

 

It certainly won’t be the same to bring a child to a self-supportive world where you have a guaranteed income/have your human rights being genuinely granted and assured with money provided to you from birth than a baby that is born in a condition of poverty in a third world country where not even a solid foundation of family or parents exist, because everyone is on a survival modality. It doesn’t make sense anymore to continue allowing our children to grow up in front of the TV and computer screens or taken care by ‘third parties,’ and the reason why this is so is because everyone has to ‘get a job to live’ and there’s no support given to parents to get time to educate their children. This should make it clear how it is all of us that are ‘shooting our leg’ by not providing to each other the right to life, so it’s about time we understand that the new way of Living is to Support Ourselves and Support All Life Equally to become our fullest potential.

 

To learn how to stop being only a mind that perpetuates the patterns and sins of the fathers, research:

 

Parental Support:

 

Parenting and Educational Blogs:

 

Vlogs:


383. To Forget to Self-Forgive

First Cousin Once Removed Preview (HBO Documentary Films) (2012) by Alan Berliner

Remember to Forget’ were the words chosen by a poet with Alzheimer as his last statement to the potential million viewers of the documentary ‘First cousin once removed’ by Alan Berliner, which depicts his life in his last months of living with this mental condition, and it is interesting that the words ‘For-Get’ and ‘For-Give’ can be a bit similar, but there’s a world of difference between both, where the act of merely ‘wanting to forget’ can lead us to experience something like Alzheimer, in an attempt to let go of the memories, the identity, the past, the load of experiences with which we created and inflicted the most trauma/harm/abuse within ourselves, and so wanting to forget as a way to ‘cope with the past,’ and that’s how such forced ‘eraser’ move in the mind can lead to this memory-loss problem.

 

I enjoyed this documentary, it’s very well made and I recommend it to see first hand what Alzheimer is like, and the reasons that usually lead to it, along with the genetic disposition that can exist – which as we now understand how the memories of those that have gone before us are integrated within/as ourselves as the mind in the womb, as the information we have ‘pre-loaded’ within us as the ‘sins of the fathers’ – then it makes sense that Alzheimer can ‘run in the family’ as a trait developed to want to forget about one’s deeds, one’s traumatic past, one’s wrong-doings and essentially take the forced road to a ‘way out’ of it all, a way to not face one’s inner demons.

 

The documentary could’ve had a subtitle – in the words of the film’s director – a Poets’ Alzheimer, since the documentary is about the ‘first cousin once removed’ from the director of this film who happened to be a poet, a writer, a translator, a man of ‘great achievements’ only to get to the last days of his life forgetting about it all, and it for sure brings us back to this point of our Journey To Life and the route to Nothingness. Edwin Honig – the protagonist of this documentary – gets to such ‘nothingness’ though not in a self-aware and self-directive manner to it and this is what I’d like to discuss here because it doesn’t make sense to get to this point of ‘Nothingness’ as in remembering – apparently – nothing through simply deciding to block the memory, to forget.

 

The things that Edwin could vividly recall – at times, when it seemed he wasn’t unconsciously deliberately ‘wanting to forget’ – were traumatic moments in his life: being blamed for his brother’s death when he was a child, having been to the army and shooting others, and maybe some family member he was fond of, but that was it. He is shown recordings with traces of the achievements throughout his life explained by himself at an earlier stage in his life, all his books, his poems, his translations of some ‘great writers,’ and so forth, and it was quite amusing to see how he would watch these recordings of himself explaining all his studies, his achievements and saying something in the lines of ‘He’s trying too hard to be someone’ and so yes, this is most of the things we put all our time and effort to, to build up the idea of ‘who we are’ as our mind, our ego – not realizing that life is not memories and how when one has no more memories to ‘hold on to’ then all of these lifetime achievements are reduced to nothing but pretentious additions we identify ourselves as, which can be later on absolutely forgotten and ultimately end up at death. Edwin had kept journals on a daily basis for over 50 years, so he also tried too hard to remember, only to end up forgetting it all. It seems like an ‘overload’ of too many memories, too many things he wanted to keep but eventually forget that he ended up ‘forgetting it all.’

 

I liked the fact that at some point, due to being asked many questions by the documentary maker (his cousin) he would just ask him to be forgotten, to not exist for some days, weeks, months and so in a way it could be him realizing that he was just telling his-story, the tale we all become as a bunch of memories we then believe is ‘all we are’ which is absolutely limited. We have reduced ourselves to become a curriculum, a data base with memories, experiences, feelings, the ideas we believe others have about ourselves, the feelings and constructs we impose onto reality, our entire ego that we accumulate throughout time, and how when we eventually ‘want to forget’ due to the emotional load that it creates within us, maybe that’s when Alzheimer emerges as an absolute ‘shutdown’ of these memories, which I interpret as a decision to Not Forgive, but Only Forget.

 

Dullness

 

Alzheimer seems to be the result of Forgetting to Forgive, but not only ‘Forgive’ in itself, but to Self-Forgive. It’s interesting that Edwin hadn’t been such a good father after all and how his ‘children’ – now grown up males – hold a grudge against him due to what he would do to them, which they interpreted as abusive, as him being an a*hole. And so, Edwin could not remember at all that he had children/sons, and even when the time comes for one of them to visit him, he shows exhaustion, maybe because memories would come back and so the load of remorse, guilt, the entire emotional experience created throughout time could come back, and so he’s left alone. Alzheimer seems to be a way to evade reality, to evade looking at one’s demons and learning how to self-forgive ourselves for it all, a way to escape from facing self-responsibility and as such wanting to ‘put memories down’ not realizing that the level and extent to which we are tied to as our memories and our mind cannot be ‘shut down’ or these ‘side effects’ emerge.

 

This is also another way to see how without walking this process of Self-Forgiveness to learn how to recognize our thoughts, words and deeds that could have caused ourselves inner-conflicts and struggles that we eventually lashed out onto others, affecting them and learn how to self-forgive ourselves for it all, bit by bit, word by word, and we only try and ‘forget it all’ causes an illness, because one is attempting to ‘get rid’ of the memories instead of actually understanding how we created such problems, how we participated in them, why, why did we allow it to become an emotional burden, who did we affect with our deeds too, what do we feel incapable of forgiving ourselves for that we instead choose to simply evade and ‘forget’?

 

And if we were able to remember who we have been from the beginning of our existence, we would have all gone through the same ‘deletion’ process as Alzheimer to go back to ‘ignorance is bliss’ mode, which is in fact what we do whenever we attempt to forget our past, our history and recreate the same abuse and harm because we don’t want to remember and take responsibility for our lives, our world as our creation and change the patterns for once and for all.

 

It’s interesting that one documentary that shows the actual nature of the memories left in a person with Alzheimer can shed more light than any scientific study attempting to understand the origin of it, which once again is also confirming what has been explained at Desteni in relation to Alzheimer Syndrome which I suggest to anyone to investigate and get rid of these ‘enigmas’ that still exist in humanity, while it’s already been 7 years of having the opportunity to learn about the totality of who we are as human beings, as preprogrammed mind consciousness systems that can create a short-circuit process in order to not have to confront one’s own inner demons all the time, creating things like Alzheimer or the usual anxiety, fears, phobias and general stress that we impose onto our physical body every time we are ‘living’-through-the-mind.

 

An aspect I enjoyed is seeing how Edwin only expressed appreciation for the expression of a child – the director’s son – because he was a child, expressing himself with music, in the moment, not questioning him about ‘who he was’ or who he could remember, but just being in the moment, which is also another point to consider about this ‘nothingness’ that we can all exist as, as a self-created result of learning how to self-forgive, to correct, to let go within self-responsibility and full awareness of choosing to be living in the moment – which is different from this form of Alzheimer’s ‘living in the moment’ as an accidental result of wanting to evade one’s memory, which is why in this case someone that doesn’t represent a ‘threat’ to one’s self-definition can become someone we enjoy too.

 

 

This documentary should also support with the realization that who we are and who we define ourselves to be is nothing else but a collection of memories and experiences that we build up as ‘who we are’ and we indeed put so much ‘effort’ onto it, without realizing that it is only the ‘who we are in the mind’ that we are valuing and accumulating as knowledge and information, while we forget about the words that we can live and become as an essence of ourselves – not the titles, not the money, not the recognition, not the studies, not the professions or definitions that others can give onto us – but the words we decide to live in full self-awareness. Just as the point we hear a lot about in Desteni on ‘stopping the mind,’ it doesn’t mean: forget about who you were and be ‘living in the here now moment’ absolutely oblivious of everything, as if one could simply ‘turn the page’ and have a blank one without any consequence. So if anything, this film depicts the consequences of not being able to cope with our mind, our memories, an entire life of wanting to ‘cherish all memories’ and the outcome when you realize the fiction you’ve become as a character and eventually just want to throw the character out of the window and remain as the flesh and bones we are… that’s what creates the consequence as a forced de-egofication process.

I am able to relate to the idea of wanting to cherish every moment as the ‘old me’ that was on my way to do that all the time, and having that mentality of wanting to be a writer someday that could use those memories to create more fictional characters through which I could live through as well, and I’m glad I stopped myself, which to myself as my ego it was the same as some form of egocide, because stopping ‘cherishing memories’ – even with the compulsion I had to be taking pictures all the time – I was on my way to fill memory cards and entire notebooks of my own personalities with no direction – which is also the type of writing I was doing before this process, using art as just another way to convolute the perception of who we are as human beings: point-less, self-referenced, self-interested beings seeking this something to ‘fill in the void’ with and ending up in some kind of nonsense with a life wasted in this perpetual ‘search’ which I now see that we all as human beings have, nothing else but the gloom created as the result of separating ourselves from who we really are as life, as the substance that unites us all as one and equal.

 

Today we discussed about this existential anguish in relation to ‘losing all hope to humanity’ not realizing that I was maybe on my way to creating yet another ‘disorder’ to simply evade facing reality – which we all do one way or another by creating any form of emotion or feeling to make the whole thing turn into a ‘me-myself-I’ experience rather than taking responsibility for the problems we create in our lives and this world and turn it only into a ‘concern’ – and how if I hadn’t discovered Desteni and the ability to Self-Forgive, I would have probably continued down the spiraling road of using art as a way to express this absolute ‘lostness’ that I experienced for great part of my life up to 6 years ago when everything started making sense.

 

All I can say is that it is quite a relief to no longer be drilling my mind with the usual existential-queries and ‘enigmas’ that used to also occupy my-time here, thinking about time, and death, and memories, and identity, and fictional characters, and this life as a dream and so forth… all of which has existed as part of our philosophy with no concrete realization to simply see the direct reality of it all: we have used our mind to divert our attention from reality, from the actual consequences and physical existence that we tend to cloud or ‘paint with other colors’ through thinking about reality, through ‘feeling’ or ‘becoming emotional’ about it and pondering these energetic flicks as ‘more’ than what life really is.

 

After the film ended, Alan Berliner had a Q&A session with the audience, and he ended up saying that ‘Memories are the glue to life’ and I couldn’t disagree more as this mentality is what has kept us since the beginning of our existence as human beings tied to a past that we then ‘choose to forget’ proving that we haven’t moved an iota from the very initial problems we were programmed with, just because we have accepted our mind to be ‘who we really are,’ forgetting or not even being aware of what Life really is, which is not and will never be knowledge and information, and memories. Just like in all our devices – memories are nothing but part of the system that enables us to function as clusters of space and time in a disk drive that sometimes gets full and overloaded and requires some ‘rebooting’ because there’s just ‘too much to info to handle,’ and that’s also what Alzheimer seems like.

 

Memories cannot be the ‘glue of life’ as they are only invisible bits of information we believe is who we are. Life doesn’t require a glue, life is not divided, life is all that is already here that we have separated ourselves from in every moment that we define ourselves as a picture, as an emotion, a thought, a feeling, a memory, all of it part of the masks that we craft and can end up driving us crazy if we continue to overlook the reality and simplicity of who we are here as breathing flesh and bones physical beings that have to now use our memory practically and constructively, to go self-forgiving each thought, word and deed that we’ve acted upon and created in order to ‘forget about who we are’ and as such, not take responsibility for who we are and have become. Look at this world, read the news, talk with people on the streets, look within yourself in your mind and see how this world is our reflection.

 

Learning how to Self-Forgive is the greatest gift one can give to oneself if one does not want to end up driving oneself absolutely insane, or mentally kaput for not having the courage to stand in the face of ourselves, of our past no matter how ‘bad it may seem or how ‘overwhelming’ the consequences of it already are, there is no other way but to stand up for it and face it. Self-Honesty takes Courage and that’s something one has to develop in order to not end up mentally ill due to wanting to forget. My suggestion is to then do this: learn how to Self-Forgive, Remember to Self-Forgive instead of compounding the inner turmoil and the cowardice to recognize who we are and have become, not only as individuals, but as humanity – and so, whenever we see ourselves feeling guilty, ashamed, embarrassed, overwhelmed by our past, our memories, our mind, it is that moment where instead of remaining in the victimization of the experience: we stand up, take a deep breath and decide to self-forgive the experience, the memory, the thought, the deeds and correct ourselves in the moment in the realization that no one did this to us but ourselves, and no one will ‘forgive us’ as there is no God, but ourselves, our own creators.

 

The one last mercy we can give to ourselves is Self Forgiveness, let’s use it and become physical living breathing beings that can stop pondering too much about what life, death, a thought or memories are and rather learn how to live in every moment of breath directing our lives to be and become an example of what we all know we can be when correcting all the mess of the past to stand as self-directive and self-honest individuals, always considering what is best for self and all as equals: no memory required but only as a remembrance of a past to never repeat again.

 

To learn more about Desteni’s perspective on Alzheimer and Memories:

 

To stop being defined only as a memory chip of emotions and feelings:


353. The Best Regime is Equal Money

 

We haven’t questioned the words we speak as  the nature of actions they contain, we haven’t abolished money as a belief system of debt in function of abuse. If anything it should be a point of great concern how after thousands of years we haven’t ever coexisted in the best way possible where all living beings are equals in all aspects as Life. This is because all our regimes have consisted of structures founded and determined to generate systems of power and control and as such, inequality has been accepted as ‘the way things are’ without a question – it is about time we begin realizing the actual abilities we have to correct this, which begins at an individual level to understand what does constitute an actual goodwill in humanity.

 

Continuing:

 

Problem                                                             

We are  species that have specialized in creating words, placing them in  books full of  statements intended to guide man’s life,  but we haven’t ever lived the ideal and best intentions placed in our constitutions  in order to generate an actual well being in this world that stands as the best way to direct ourselves to live as Equals in harmony and peace. Throughout time we haven’t yet questioned why we seek to ‘Change the World’ and haven’t first looked at why we have allowed ourselves to remain in the damaged and defunct state of the world system that we are attempting to ‘change’ and apparently ‘live’ in; we look at history without realizing that the nature of  humanity has maintained and sustained the same cycles on enslavement because we have failed to understand how it is that each one of us has complied to re-enact the same power structures over and over again, there has been no human evolution but only a change of scenarios that creates the illusion of it.

 

Some others might have had great intentions to change the world system but never actually realizing that only writing and promulgating laws intended to generate common good won’t create a sudden ‘good willed nature’ in humanity; in fact the opposite has happened where currently no one can trust any form of governance or our neighbor because we have made everything so corruptible to the point where we have become subject to participating in a system that is not working according to generate a common well being that is applicable to all, which means everyone is bound to be born into slavery where our politics are based on offense-defense balancing between nations compete against each other to see who can accrue  the most wealth, using resources and man labor as the ‘fuel’ to keep the good life being enjoyed by this winning minority. Every regime has incorporated these ‘particularized’ needs where subjective aspects as points of identification and differentiation  from other states ,were considered as specific directives in their constitutions according to culture, tradition, religion, habits,  which led to the inevitable segregation between humans just because societies became characterized according to the interests of the ruling minority, which would then signify the basis of their  that specialness, their privileges which became the configuration of the way people live in a particular territory: it became people’s binding force of identity that turned into a strong belief of ‘what the people stand for,’  what their purpose in life is and how they view their own life according to these living codes embedded in their particular system.

 

We have always been governed and subject to governance wherein the rules of the game are written by individuals that may or may not have the best interests upon society, however such constitutions are not lived by the individuals and any other form of comparative studies of why this is so are also useless because there is simply no physical common sense that is regarded as universal directives that should be considered as a universal law that we could all abide to by a mere agreement on recognizing the equality that exists within and as ourselves as life.  We can already attest that all form of political philosophy has failed to do its job to generate living lawful principles that human beings could apply and live by to generate the necessary change within the nature of man, as Rousseau claimed.

 

Thinking in terms of ‘What is Best for All’ already get people raising their eyebrows – however this is also proven to be difficult in our lives where no actual educational processes about the nature of the system have been provided in order to understand why equality has been relegated to a fringe term that is de jure present in all constitutions and charters, de facto never lived or applied on Earth. Thus the type of regime determines how people apparently ‘choose’ the decisions based on the values they learn at school, the politics in their nations, it is as if we haven’t yet learned  any other way but what we currently know ‘it’s best’ and continue to accept things as they are. This is for example how we continue to believe that being governed by a few ‘educated people’ that ‘know what they are doing’ because they have been trained to take such positions in the world system are more ‘trustworthy’ than anyone else, which is why the rest will simply follow to deposit faith that it will eventually all work out as intended – whether such intention is to enslave or uplift humanity, same point, we simply agreed to it because we believe we don’t know any better than them. For some others it would be to live in self governed small societies with a religious purpose in order to venerate life and some gods alike – some others can think of a Global Equal State order where all human beings can in fact be free under a single regime where life is valued and lived in Equality. Well, we agree with the latter – however why would this Not Be immediately recognized by every individual as the Best  foundation for a Regime  that can exist?

 

To understand the cognitive dissonance that exists in order for the majority of the people in this world be able deny that Valuing Life in Equality is what’s Best for All, we have to realize that there is an entire educational apparatus existent in order to shape the human mind according to that which will serve a particular nation or regime in the best way possible. It is thus obvious that in a corporate capitalistic system, these values are shaped according to commerce which means consumption, buying and selling, defining our status according to that which own and making ourselves honorable for supporting wars that ensure corporations are well fed with an apparent cause to defend our honor, our security and promoting ‘good values’ such as words that sound like freedom and democracy, but are in no way actually meaning the signification of the words as we know them to be.

 

These are the values that are ‘fought for’ in the country that we’ve used as example for the purpose of understanding the problems in our world, the United States of America  (for more you can read the entire series 307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness and the rest of the posts after this one) This is thus what defines how a person lives, how life is conceived, what their every moment is veered toward and lived for which in a society like the contemporary American culture, is to obtain happiness – this might not seem different to the same purpose placed by human beings in ancient times, however the How and What makes people happy is what has been upgraded according to the current regime. This is how words are defined according to that which serves the establishment – an example is how happiness for an individual can be founded upon being rich, owning properties all over the world, traveling, sitting by a pool drinking and admiring the scene of a ‘good life’ while for others happiness would mean having potable water, food, shelter and dignified living conditions – it must be very clear what has shaped our particular and personalized values no matter in which nation we live in, which is Money. As long as we still see through the eyes of the characterization that words have gained within a particular regime, we will continue to ignore common sense such as understanding in a physical common sense what is Best for All which is explained in the first post of this series.

 

The problem is when we talk about being a ‘good citizen’ and being a ‘good human being’ – Citizenship is related to the particular contract we are born into as part of particular nation or state – this is what we sign ourselves into from our birth certificate till the moment our Death Certificate which is a state of de-function which means we are no longer functional to the purpose we were signed into as part of our countries functioning as corporations. This Good citizenship ties in with what was explained in terms of the System  Honesty and Integrity discussed earlier in this series, wherein we abide to the norms, the values, the laws and regulations of our particular regimes simply because that is all we have ever known and we also know that if we don’t abide to that, we can get the opposite of reward which is punishment and as such, fear is the counter act to maintain people in a ‘good citizenship’ status as a reward to never question why such regime is not working according to that which is best for all, which is a question we all should have asked ourselves by now, yet even if we have, we haven’t done anything to change the reality of this until now.

 

A regime is not only a structure and several institutions that govern us, it is an entire way of living and establishes the foundation for everything we do, how we live and how we relate to one another. It constitutes an ethos   and so far all of the different regimes have catered for a diversity based on particular interests  that are mutually exclusive.

 

It should already be known that much before our monetary systems were in place, there has always been a form of order in our societies established through force creating rights and such dominant forces shaped our constitutions wherein the so-called ‘best conditions for everyone’ were shaped according to a particular culture, religion, , traditions, language and meaning of words, time and space context,  habits, etc. It is thus to understand how by the differentiation in how we understand the world through the meanings we acquire/ learn  in our particular educational/indoctrination  systems,  we create ideological, philosophical, moral and ethical barriers  in order to justify one single thing: the inability of man to live in Equality, the inability to actually put 1+1 together and realize that the simplicity to create what is Best for All is actually physically evident. Why haven’t we done this then? Because we are so used to merely following orders and being told what to do by a few as long as we don’t have to partake in the necessary involvement that managing and directing our lives actually requires, wherein not only a few should be interested in the frameworks that define the way we live and take the positions that enables them to do what they see is ‘best’ according to their particular interests. We have accepted and allowed things as they are, because we get to have a ‘good life’ where money becomes the alternative to govern ourselves by the power embedded in money and not by the laws that could do this without having to ‘strive’ to make a living or compete to make the most.

 

Our current regimes are based on self-serving ‘living philosophies’ based on generating a feel good experience according to the amount of money that we have, which goes unquestioned because as long as our nature is not challenged in its root and instead fed by ‘how the system works’ – which is again the nature of greed, competition, selfishness, abuse and negligence  as the actual evil as the reverse of life, as everything that exists in the negative conditions that prevent the emergence of any actual goodness in man – we will continue studying theories about great societies while claiming the best regime is in fact ‘Utopic’ and lacking actuality – yes, this is not a coincidence either that we believe it to be such a ‘high end’ in itself such an impossible thing to concretize in reality,  just because we haven’t learned to become self governed individuals that understand that there we don’t require a Leviathan to take care of ourselves if each individual is able to live by principles that create a living regime where Life is Valued and Lived in Equality. Who has then accepted and allowed the limitation to live in an Equal Freedom? Us.

 

Many claim that this Best Regime is idealistic in nature, it is superior to all because it is all encompassing as a Global System which should be based on Life in Equality and Oneness – yet again, we have to look at Human Nature as the Problem to make this a reality which draws us back to the initial point: if the Regime and ‘ways of the system’ is created by human beings, then what must be changed is the human nature in itself. De jure the constitutions to create the best regime do exist, de facto none of them are lived and applied, there is no actuality to a Best for All Regimes and even if we all physically understand what we require to live and know what would be the best way to coexist, we like to think that there is a form of specialness in opposing commonality, just because we learned how to praise individuality and superiority, without ever pondering how these ‘values’ are supporting the separation and abuse that some even dare to project and blame onto authorities for not recognizing them as our individual guarantees according to the laws, we are the ones that in fact make the life of the system be unequal in nature. Who are the real double edged swords then? Our words that have not been lived in a way to honor all life in equality yet.

 

 

Solution                                                              

  • “We Declare Our Intention to Support, Nurture and Defend the rights of all Human Beings who walk upon this Earth and who share the Gift and Breath of Life. This intention is founded upon the recognition that all Sentient Beings are endowed with the unalienable rights of self-determination and the fundamental assurances of the minimum qualities of life, such assurances to be fulfilled by having the necessities of life such as proper nourishment, clothing, shelter, access to knowledge and education, training for fulfilling capacities to support and sustain their lives and their families, to be integrated within their relationships of social, economic, familial and community bonds.

     

    It is Our Dedicated Intention That We Shall Strive to assist all those in need in order that they may provide for themselves and their families the means of establishing the fundamental requirements of life while on this Earth. We shall be guided by our consciences and our intentions to honor all life forms and all human beings on our planet, and all sentient beings in existence as a whole, to apply our efforts to uplift and sustain the qualities of life that we wish to have for ourselves and our families, and to continue in our efforts until all on this planet have achieved such a goal. In so doing, we fulfill the law that states, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

    Ken Cousens

  • Removing Idealism from the term ‘Best Regime’ implies doing the opposite of thinking, which is acting, directing, convening, participating  and creating living agreements where all participants commit themselves to be co-creators of a new living system in and of Equality as Life. Within the Equal Money System which is the Equality System by excellence, we will undermine the potential harm existent in words and will direct ourselves to integrate the living principles that generate a Best for All living condition as part of our day to day interaction and participation in our world in and as the words that we speak. This is part of understanding that we are the system, we create the regime and just as language gets to a point of death if there are no more speakers that use it, we have to become the life of that new language as the words that will ensure the Best Regime is  lived in our very own words in every single moment that we are Here, coexisting and participating with everyone in order to make our lives possible.

 

  •   It is time to let go of being ‘good citizens’/ ‘good slaves’ to a system of abuse and instead understand the physical laws that govern our nature which is Life in Equality as what is Best for All. We are witnessing and becoming the living understanding of how it is that our world can in fact be if each individual lives by principle and not by negative enforcement to survive in a world of fixed scarcity, debt that sounds like death and antiquated values based on a power structure founded upon money as a relationship of abuse. It is crystal clear how the ability to change the world, to create the best living regime possible does not exist in one single book or ancient text with a magic formula to it, it is happening now, it is being presented by the corpus of the educational material available at Desteni and Equal Money, which are the two Educational and Directive Principled Pillars to be lived by each individual in order to manifest the change that we require to implement in this world.

 

  • The state current crisis in our word is sufficient evidence for us to open our eyes and understand that it is only in Equality, working Together and honoring each other as Equals as Life that we can come to this simple realization where the Best Living Regime exists the moment all living beings are equally  supported to live the best possible way, where all Nations become one single global estate that is no longer distinguished by a need to have more power over others,  but instead it is one lived and understood as a single organism living in absolute homeostasis and in symbiotic relationships.

 

 

Read about : Politics in Equal Money

Rewards                                                              

  • No more political philosophy, no more sociological theories on all the various aspects that could ‘better’ human life because we will all be living in a physical understanding of what is Best for All and as such, direct and dedicate our lives to creating this new Equality World Order based on understanding our inherent interdependence in this social organism.

 

  • Any personal preference that does not oppose, threaten or harm this physical common sense will be able to be lived and integrated as part of our individual expression through our habits, ways of communicating, entertainment and personal inclinations as long as no other being is coerced to follow it, as long as no other living being is abused or harmed in such practices. This is how we can understand that our constant well being in a state of harmony, self honesty and interdependence is the happiness that was bought and sold in the ‘old days.’ We are here to finally integrate the living principles that will ensure all children are born into life and not into death as it happens in our current system. 

 

  • The ability to define and direct for the very first time an actual Living Regime in Equality is and will be sufficient proof that we have gotten to Equalize ourselves as life, which means we can only exist in such a system if Self Realization is lived by each individual co-operating and participating in it. 

 

  • It is about time we unite under the same symbol-less flag that denotes the unity between all men and women as equals, along with all other living creatures that coexist here and that must be Equally regarded as part of the necessary jurisdiction to ensure their well being as that is what we all want for ourselves and our generations to come into this world.

 

 

 

 

 

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296. Profit in Equal Money Capitalism

Ending the way profit currently works is giving an End to the basis of poverty and injustice in this world system, in essence eradicating Inequality.

 

Continuing from:

Redefining Capitalism:

We’re going word by word in a very basic definition of Capitalism to redefine it, explore it and see what each word means and how we are able to re-direct every aspect of this collective agreement into a Best for All system.

For context on redefining capitalism, read: Day 180: The Word ‘Capitalism’ in ‘Equal Money Capitalism Redefined

 

The Ingrained Desire for Profit in the human mind is recognized as one of the most frequently identified obstacles to implement the Equality System. However, as we have outlined in the previous post, we only created a figure such as profit and made it a verb as a way to legalize the act of making money out of producing something, selling it, paying the cost of production and earning the surplus at whichever rate you want. The problem is when the cost of production is paid at a minimum wage – slow-wage level, which leaves the most of the money earned through sales to the company that hires the people, that sets the price and continues to capitalize their wealth by merely owning it. Same goes when people invade other countries to extract their natural resources and sell them as if it was their own – this ‘ownership’ in itself is the core point that has enabled profit to be a self-righteous disposition that presumes the following standards that we’re living in:

 

 

Problems:

  • The right to profit from mere ownership of money and private property that we have outlined before 283. Private Property and Equal Money Capitalism – this means the appropriation of the surplus profit that should be distributed equally to every single participant in the production/manufacture/distribution and retail sale of such good or service.

 

  • Stealing/High-jacking profit for a few and distant investors: within the commercialization of life, the life of community that may hold the most gold, the most oil ever gets to see any benefit from foreign companies that take the right to benefit from such resources, which means that stealing and its monetary value gets to be part of a place like wall street instead of being directly reattributed to the local community and the people that work within such businesses that are also locals earning the minimum wage in most cases.

 

  • Advertisement and Media being ubiquitous in our day to day living wherein we learn how to use the triumphs of our work – money – and spend them right in all types of products/activities that will make us feel ‘great’ and ‘happy,’ which is currently the main problem we’re living out when identifying life and success with buying and consuming. Big Problem that we’ll continue to discuss later on.

 

  • This also presumes that the person that has the most money and owns the most, is superior and more than everyone else, since money has this ‘power’ in itself to buy virtually Anything we want. We can see there is no consideration to life at all, nor is there any specific principle upon which products and advertisements are created accordingly – since product market regulation only focuses on prices, not the starting point of such product/service – which makes our product market an omnipresent temptation to buy/consume and as such to get the most money by any possible means.

 

  • Money is in the hands of those who will only make more money out of it. This is what banks do and that’s how the money-interest mechanism is what enables clean profits from the mere faculty of creating money, which means that it is a self-sustainable hegemonic system that we have All collectively agreed that ‘that’s how it is/ that’s how it works.’ Hence everyone wants money yet we don’t consider WHO benefits from creating money, as all money is debt and as such there will always be debt unless we change the way money functions.

 

  • Profiting from extracting natural resources – as we know oil, water, natural gas, minerals, etc. are great sources of income by people that were clever enough to invest money in these industries due to our energetic dependency, this is leading to the belief of ‘unlimited growth’ wherein this growth is leading to depletion without any one taking responsibility for the problems caused because in the end: we all consume them equally. However at the moment, we’re all breaking any sustainable cycle in the ecosystem.

 

  • Selling Out for Profit – this includes even that which should have been a mere point of freedom of expression like art, music, letters and how they have been also forced to comply to the market forces that ensure that such arts that have become industries can also get a ‘life of their own’ through profit, this has lead us to a severe crisis at a human level that we’ll explore later on- you can read more about it in Day 187: Why is Art so Expensive?

 

  • Artificial scarcity makes products more profitable upon the law of supply and demand – this is one of the arbitrary conditions we’ve accepted and allowed, this will also make of inflation a mere corruptible scheme from the past.

 

  • Planned obsolescence is a direct result of seeking to maximize profit at the expense of the resources that are used/abused, the cheap labor that is not only ‘labor’ but people’s lives that depend on low-end jobs such as people in the Maquiladoras that are paid only cents of a dollar an hour while all the industries have ‘free trade zone’ for it such as no taxes and no limit to the expatriation of profit. 

 

 

Solutions:

  • If everyone participates Equally to create a certain product/ service = then everyone must get an equal-share of it, that’s common sense, no matter if you’re the janitor of the company or the CEO or the factory worker or the guy that drives around the products for distribution or the one that makes the informational advertising of the product – which I’ll explain later – everyone should be equally rewarded for it. This is within the principle of understanding our economy as an organic function where all parts are vital for its proper functioning.

 

WHAT IS PROFIT-SHARE?
Currently profit is the money a company makes after they have covered their costs, including paying out wages. In an EMC – profit comprises of all the added value that is placed on resources – which is your labour. Therefore – within the price, the percentage share must be included of each one that was part of the creation of the product in such a way that each one ends up with an equal share of the company’s profits, so – there will be no need for wages – as the profit becomes your wage.
Day 175: The Economic Problem and Equal Money Capitalism
  • Maximizing profit redefined as generating the most common-benefit to all which means: each one’s work will determine everyone’s wage/profit share which is enough incentive to work together for a common goal, which is also a common aspect that we have realized works when it comes to generating team work and dissolve any possible vantage points, which equal-profit does quite easily.

 

  • No more public relations in means of Selling stuff to people for the profit sake, but rather relating the products to the public ensuring everyone is safe in using/consuming what’s in stores.  This is what’s called consumer’s attorney, and that would certainly ensure that no cheap products with planned obsolescence, poor manufacture and low quality materials are generated, because low production costs won’t be a limiting factor to develop the best product possible.

 

  • Giving and receiving: we must not forget that whichever we use for profit, is coming from the Earth and as such, the benefit we get from it must go back to the common weal equally, this is also the best cure to any idea of hoarding or capitalizing money. We all know that accumulation is greed and as such an organic process of in and out is what will maintain everyone within a level of health within and without as the entire system.

 

  • Equal ownership/ use – a great disparity that is created from some owning and being able to make money from their capital goods/ capital in general can be solved if everyone uses, everyone earns equally from the work done and everyone has equal right to the use of the land they work on/ live in. This is also explained in 284. Capital Goods and Equal Money Capitalism

 

  • No more private ownership over the land,  the extraction and means to obtain  natural resources – all resources will be part of the common weal and this implies that any form of privatization will cease to exist. Depletion of resources will have to seek for answers in alternative energy sources, which will also be relieved by focusing on Local economies as can be read here: 

 

With EMC, we are moving away from monopolies, where a select amount of big corporations has control over particular products. Companies will be far more regional and community based as companies will exist from a point of responsibility towards their particular community. Within EMC, providing goods and services is not an opportunity to ‘hit it big’ in the world – it is how one contributes to society to make Life on Earth a worthwhile experience for everyone. When companies are locally based and operational, transport costs will of course also be cut down, which will reduce pressure on the environment.
Day 170: Companies and Industries in EMC

 

 

  • Sustainability will no longer be warped by profit. This will be a strict measure to ensure that no further pollution, extinction, depletion and ecological foot print are continued for the sake of profit.

 

  • No more Bank Profit: Banking in itself won’t be a source of profit, but a managing service as it always should have been. This is explained in the following quote:

Banks in an EMC will exist as financial intermediaries, gathering surpluses to cover deficits in other places. So – the banks will be in charge of providing extra funds to companies who are running a deficit. This point will always be temporary and the required funding will lessen as there is an intervention that takes place and action is taken to make the company more effective and able to compete.

Day 167: Harmony and Equilibrium within Equal Money Capitalism

 

  • Using property to generate a common well is what will enable profit to be generated and distributed according to equal share – this implies that no more profit will exit by merely owning property to generate profit. This also includes the inability to profit from owning current scare resources in your property.

 

  • Many  jobs that are currently only existent as a way to promote or make the most money-such as marketing careers for example, will have to be transformed into information agencies wherein people instead focus on ensuring that the product is in fact beneficial for human use and consumption and that all quality standards are in place as well as all tags with relevant information in place –

 

  • Quality products will be the result of not having to minimize the cost of production but instead maximize the equality so that every person’s work is remunerated in an equal manner, which is what will re-establish justice in our relationships.

 

Rewards:

  • Your Happiness is My Happiness – if it is shared equally there will be no more hate-thy-neighbor because he stole your job/position, but rather realizing that there is no pressure to ‘get on top’ any longer since there will be no top but only people that recognize that group/team work is what matters to make everyone have a dignified living condition.

 

  • Aligning Profit with the Common Weal: A peace of mind will ensue from the moment that we are able to buy products that are no longer manufactured by people that are being treated and paid as slaves, this will be an actual gift of having a clear conscience since we will all be participating to generate the goods and services, so that we all understand what it is to be life/ to live life in Equality.

 

  • No more criminal activity, No more lies, no more corruption and deception to buy and sell for the sake of money, or abusing someone’s gullibility to be a compulsive buyer of a product that is not beneficial for them. This makes us all finally suitable to be trustworthy between each other again.

 

  • Equal Opportunity really means: everyone is able to have a job, everyone gets equal profit on that job, everyone is pushed to do their work the best way possible and as such realize that their labor is no less or more important than any other – the consequences of this at mind level should be quite beneficial to actually develop symbiotic relationships wherein competition won’t be to make the most sales but to realize that we distribute a product/ service that is of actual need and benefit for people that use it/consume it and as such, it’s meant to be made with the best quality measures and materials possible.

 

  • Instead of using psychological techniques to make people irrationally buy, people can work to become their ally to inform what type of product is best and which ones are not and as such, become a relevant and important key-person as a mediator between that which is consumed and the final consumer. Everyone wins

 

For further support read the Education and Labor pages in the Equal Money Wiki

 

 

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289. Our Lives as Money-Making Machines

 

Did you chose your profession based on your vocation/preference to it or because of the amount of money you’d make out of it?  How will this change if everyone go the same profit no matter what job you have?

 

Recapitulating, we’re going word by word in a very basic definition of Capitalism to redefine it, explore it and see what each word means and how we are able to re-direct every aspect of this collective agreement into a Best for All system.

 

Capitalism is an economic system that is based on private ownership of capital goods and the means of production, and the creation of goods and services for profit.[1][2] Elements central to capitalism include capital accumulation,competitive markets, and a price system.[3]

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitalism

 

Continuing from:

For context on redefining capitalism, read: Day 180: The Word ‘Capitalism’ in ‘Equal Money Capitalism Redefined

 

 

Services:  

 

Services: Intangible products such as accounting, banking, cleaning, consultancy, education, insurance, expertise, medical treatment, or transportation.

Sometimes services are difficult to identify because they are closely associated with a good; such as the combination of a diagnosis with the administration of a medicine. No transfer of possession or ownership takes place when services are sold, and they cannot be stored or transported, are instantly perishable, and  come into existence at the time they are bought and consumed.

Read more: http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/services.html#ixzz2JjU16q2w

 

 

What has become of Social Reciprocity?

What’s interesting about ‘Services’ is that it is in fact the very human component of our economy that makes everything function in our society, it is the ‘life’ that requires producing and consuming the goods and services that are entailed within the definition of ‘living’ within this world, which is implying maintaining our environment, our body and the relationships with one another in a mint condition.

Current services we have range from processing data to cleaning,  translating, accountancy, security, body hair removal, dental hygienist, hospitality industry, real state, sex services, performing arts,  social work, transportation, customer service, plumbing, coroners, diplomacy, lawyers, janitors, childcare, catering and the public utility ones such a water, electricity, waste management, telecommunications, gas – all of this is what makes a society functional, however, many of these jobs/professions/activities currently are not paid equally, which implies that a janitor will make less money than the person providing a medical service – and this is where one considers the amount of money/time that a doctor spent on their studies to perform their job while seemingly a janitor only requires physical force to do his/her job. However, it is quite obvious that both are equally important, since both are required for a functional living condition. A doctor would not be able to perform a surgery in an untidy place, and that would make his job impossible without having the basic hygiene in place.

 

 

Where’s the ‘natural vocation’ to perform a service?

There’s also been a creation of needs that lead to the creation of services has been a result of existing in a debt-economy, wherein people would always seek to create more money to pay their initial debt and as such, there is this constant need to ‘make money’ to be able to pay for basic necessities and interest rates from initial investment in learning/ acquiring licenses to perform any form of service as well as paying for basic needs and bills. People then would opt for providing services that would ‘make a lot of money’ wherein there’s no real human component of them being truly willing to perform such task as a point of expression, but rather only focusing on the final pay for it.  I am sure that not many people were born being willing to guard someone’s back and risking their lives to protect another person that is considered ‘important’ due to the value they represent as an asset themselves –all your elite people – however, that’s a way for the person to have a stable income and provide for their family, because maybe he/she had no opportunity to study to have an equal opportunity to become a lawyer, even if their skills would show that he/she would be good at it – this is what we mean by having forced ourselves into slavery, because we are performing jobs that we really do not want to do, but Have-to in order to get money.

 

 

No matter what service you give, you’ll be equally remunerated

This has reduced our lives to single commodities wherein the majority of the people ended up doing a certain job/profession that they really didn’t want to do. Some others might have ended up studying to become a doctor when their passion was to take care after peoples’ dogs, and some people that were managers in great corporations would have been happier if they could become a construction worker and physically work to build houses. Someone might prefer to provide cleaning services than working to study to become an accountant, because they’re really good at it and they find it non-stressful, they will get equal profit as the company’s accountant – is that fair? Yes, of course, both human beings have the same needs, live in the same world, using the same services.

 

One aspect that would amaze me from first world countries is knowing that gardeners, plumbers, landscapers, janitors were paid well enough to have the money to travel around with their entire family and have a fairly decent lifestyle, while me being in a ‘third world country,’ our gardener would mostly be part of a lower-rank in society, without any form of social security or working benefits that anyone should have by virtue of being existing within the same social system where basic rights to goods and services must be a recognition of the individual being part of this reality, as simple as that. Our gardener actually stopped being an electrician to dedicate himself to gardening as a full time job, and he was the best gardener in our entire neighborhood until the day he died – was he happier working with plants than electricity cables? Yes – would he make more money being a gardener than an electrician? Doubtful.

 

Charles Eisenstein in his book Sacred Economics identifies how services are social reciprocity that has been turned into a commodity in our current economic model, which is definitely so, as he mentions ‘we can always pay someone else to do it’ and within that, the consideration of a person’s contribution in a particular area in our reality becomes another replaceable job that exists within the realms of competitiveness and pricing. This leads to other psychological dysfunctions such as depression, aversion and hostility when a person is performing a job that they simply Do Not Want to perform.

 

 

Slave Labor will Not be a “Service”

There are several services right now that will have to cease to exist, because they have been the result of slavery, a tradition in itself that we’ve come to ‘adapt’ into our society without a second thought of what it is actually entailed in paying someone to clean Your house and take care of Your children.  This is a service that currently exists because many people have to work and have no time to take care of their own cleaning and children themselves. Even if they do have the time, having a maid becomes quite a comfortable situation for the person that requires the service. We all know and understand that girls are pushed to leave their homes – specially rural communities – in order to ‘come to the city and make big money to take back to their families,’ which implies an entire process of living away from their environment – leaving family, friends, communal activities of socialization behind – refraining themselves most of the times from finishing any form of proper education and mostly ending up making enough money to escape with their boyfriends, or go to ‘the other side’ to make more money in even more exploitative jobs, and this is all because of Money.

These housekeeping services are not regulated, people do not get social security guarantees for supporting in house-work, they are not regulated by proper contracts, which makes of these jobs rather unstable and insecure when it comes to having someone that is not of your family, not of  your immediate neighborhood living inside your house, being there as part of your family yet doing the chores that every single member of such family/house environment should perform. That’s common sense, but, we haven’t seen it in such a way because of the Power that money has to pay someone to do something we are mostly not educated to do as part of our Living Responsibility.

 

In this example, many factors must be considered such as people’s willingness to clean their houses, which will determine how big their houses will be, it will create a necessity for each inhabitant contributing to the cleaning and taking care of their own use of the house, rooms, dishes, distributing the gardening work, cooking, etc. Work distribution in itself is a way to cover these slave-jobs as maids that we currently have made ‘indispensable’ simply because of the known-fact of being able to pay someone to do it – plus, people won’t be working such a great amount of hours a day to not have the time to take care of the basic maintenance themselves. 

 

In terms of ‘maids,’  I am certain that if these girls in rural communities are equally supported with Education, they won’t be aspiring to ‘go to to the city to make a living there’ but will most likely remain in their communities and develop their lives providing a service/ working to support in their locality, there is no ‘natural disposition’ for any being to go and live in someone else’s house to support them with their own responsibilities, and from this perspective we can see what is a forced job and what isn’t.

 

 

People go to ‘the other side’ as we know mostly people from the south hemisphere of the Earth going up north to make more money, even if their job goes from taking care of children and cleaning houses in a rich family’s compound to working 8-12 hours a day in factory or crops, essentially work that has been diminished to ‘slave labor’ because of the same predisposition we have all created within our society, wherein physical/real/tough activities are Less remunerated than those jobs that are related to ‘intellectual’ work, which in fact should not go now to the ‘opposite’ and be less rewarded, but simply considered as equally valued and vital as the very physical work that is the one that makes such managing/ accounting possible in the first place.

 

So, there can be Many examples to see how we have separated ourselves from our drive to live and contribute to our communities in a way that is best for all, just because of having to subjugate this preference of ‘living skill’ to a real need/requirement for money/ making enough  to live, and this is where Equal Money Capitalism will generate a new way of looking at/considering jobs to provide services in our society, because everyone will be obtaining equal-profit from any position they have within any economic activity, and this is what will restore that initial sense of community and social reciprocity wherein people will be working to the best of their abilities, because there is no more competition or survival-conditions for them to become someone they don’t want to, which means we won’t have any more unsatisfied, depressed, tired looking people doing jobs that only generate money to then make more money and within this money-aim all sense of being alive is lost.

 

 

Serving Life in Equality 

 

Services will have to be restored to being the impetus of collaboration, cooperation and self-drive to contribute to that which benefits the whole, the community, wherein no job will be ‘less than’ others, wherein no more competition will drive people to hate each other to get a certain job or position, since there will be no restriction from a person opting to study to become a doctor than educating themselves to become a gardener, it will be a matter of seeing what they are really willing to contribute with and actually enjoy doing.

 

All services that contributed to support slavery or any other human denigration based on the need for money will cease to exist.This will imply no more child labor, prostitution, drug dealing, clandestine animal killings, home maids, hired-killers and various other deliberately abusive/harmful activities will cease to exist, because there will be no reason for them to exist in the first place if one will not be able to make ‘more profit’ by producing ‘cheap goods,’ because pricing will no longer be an aspect that represents ‘more profit’ but equal profit at all times. You won’t require to send your kids to work because they will have access to education and you as a parent will always have a job to provide for your family.

 

There will be no need for prostitution if people learn how to establish proper agreements/ relationships based on mutual support, not self interest or any other pushed convenience by societal-norms. Drug-dealing, which can be a 24 hour service, will cease to exist in a world where people won’t seek to get ‘high’ to ‘escape reality’ any longer, but instead learn how to Live and enjoy every waking day of our lives. The same with killing that is always the outcome of some mental pathology that will be prevented with proper education of children from the moment of inception until they are suited well enough to continue a living-pattern of dedicating one’s life to Live and honor each other as equals, where there will be no passion crimes, no vengeance acts to ‘kill someone’ and get away with murder.

Our lives will be fully dedicated to giving and receiving in Equality, which implies that there will be many transformations taking place in order to equalize the value of ourselves and what we do within the understanding of our interrelatedness as an economic organism where every single person must have equal right to exist and be equally supported to do so in the best way that we are able to. This all begins at the level of introspecting about our own life and finding out how we can re-direct/ redefine what we do and why we do it in a world wherein Money won’t be a goal in itself, but a means to learn how to live.

 

For further support read the Education and Labor pages in the Equal Money Wiki 

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275. Child Addicts: Problem–Solution–Rewards

In the Equal Money Capitalism, we are presenting the current problems that are affecting our society, directing it toward a solution and looking at how we will all be benefited from having a world that stops running in self-abusive, harmful and destructive patterns.

In this blog, we are continuing from the presentation of the problem in the last post 274. Child Drug Addicts – here we are directing the problem toward a solution that invariably generates equal rewards. This means that the same pattern of rehabilitation and solution can be applied to any other country/ population that presents a similar problematic.

Watch the documentary Afghanistan’s Child Drug Addicts in order to become aware of how drug addictions does not only mean ‘wanting to escape’ reality out of fun and having enough money to sponsor your own escapist-habits.

 

  • Problem:

War in Afghanistan  has destroyed the city, many have been killed leaving families without parents to take care of children.

– Males use drugs in order to be able to work longer hours, which means not enough money is made and as such, bring the addictions home and spread even to 1 and a half year old babies.

– Children lose limbs because of the war and have no medicines to cope with the pain, villages are attacked wherein civilians become casualties of war. Parents have no other option but to give them opium to ease the pain, which leads them to become addicts from then on.

 

Psychological Damage: Teenagers suffer from depression because of loss of family members in bombings/ witnessing suicide bombers/ seeing dead people and having to recover from the traumatic experience which means, coping with suicidal tendencies.

– Families torn apart by the wars – hence children as young as 11 years old turn to drugs to cope with reality.

– Children turn to prostitution from the age of 8 years old in order to fund their own addictions – there’s no jobs/ no work.

– The Afghan powder/ heroin is the cheapest in the world here because of drug cartels now turning their poppy harvest into heroin, so it is ubiquitous. One gram is over 1 Pound.

 

– Poverty: High rates of unemployment make of drug addiction the common way of spending time and curbing the need for food.

– Adult population turn heroin addicts in order to cope with a reality where no support is given.

– Children are adopting the patterns of the parents within the consumption of heroin in order to mitigate hunger.

– No health provided, no doctors available, no support on how to deal with child addicts.

– Food is more expensive than opium.

– People would sell drugs to make a decent living, and with the eradication of their plantations, they have no other option but taking drugs due to lacking food.

– Not able to afford medicines, opium is the answer.

Family Crisis: Parents  give opium to their children in order to mitigate hunger

– Half of all opium users give it to their children of which the number is in the rise due to no solutions.

– Other children just become addicts due to the parents’ smoke

– Parents give their children drugs in order to cope with the pain and hunger.

– There’s not enough food to feed the whole family and when smoking opium, they lose the appetite.

Drug Addiction is seen as a dishonor in Islam : leads people to be afraid to ask for support.

– Only one center deals with child addiction in the entire country.

 

Consequences:

– A Generation of Drug addicts is created.

 

  • Solution:

– No more wars in order to obtain resources from other countries

– No more wars against ‘terrorism’ as wars are in itself terrorism

– Changing the harvesting of heroin for money into foods for human consumption. Drug consumption won’t be a necessity if everyone is given equal support.

– Proper living conditions that ensure all people have access to decent jobs such as reconstruction/ building of houses, schools and all the infrastructure that has been destroyed with the wars

– Education to parents in order to take care of their children with proper medical health supervision to not treat any form of ache with opium

– Educating the population about the long term addiction problems that ensue when giving their children opium/ heroin.

– Access to food,  water, sanitation services, education, nutritional and parenting counseling while developing crops to grow actual food and not drugs.

– Rehabilitation programs that are openly supported by the government: no more religious veto toward addictions which means, facing the problem as the national crisis it has become.

– Kids without parents given to proper adoptive ones that will ensure no abuse is committed onto them.

 

  • Rewards: 

– Peace, safety, tranquility for all inhabitants in the world with ceasing fire and all forms of warfare.

-Resources that were directed toward defense against the invasion can now be directed to support the population to get to live in dignified living conditions.

– Healthy living conditions/ environments wherein people can learn how to take care of their children while having access to proper food, water, sanitation, education and practical care considerations to ensure no more addictions are generated due to lack of money.

– Education availability based on self-care, proper nutritional habits and taking care of the environment as well as involving the parents to rebuild the city/ houses given the necessary means to do so.

– An actual historical treasure that this country represents could be open for visits without having tourists fearing to be another causality of war or kidnapped.

– No more child prostitution or drug addiction, no more depression or suicidal bombers – the living conditions given in equality generate a sense of well being within all individuals, ensuring real happiness as an actual possibility that will never again  be silenced by the sound of a bomb.

– Ensuring a generation of human beings that learn the consequences of war and poverty as they are supported to gain stability through communal support toward the reconstruction and rehabilitation of themselves and their environment.

 

Read all about the Equal Money Capitalism here in the Economist’s Journey to Life and the Equal Money System website

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