Category Archives: pattern

523. I Don’t Want To Bother Others

I’ll share some extra perspectives on a cool topic that Cerise and Joe opened up in this video ‘I don’t want to be a bother’ about this pattern or habit some of us have in terms of going into a personality of ‘not wanting to bother others’ or ‘take their time’ when we are facing something that would use a cross-reference or support in order to have a second pair of eyes or ears to hear about our situation and considered ways to create solutions.

In my case this has opened up more so in terms of not wanting to ‘take other people’s time’ and then believing that I’m not really worth their time and I should not even bother to ask for help or ask for a time to talk or anything like that, which I have been working on because I was specifically doing that for a long time in my life where I became sort of a ‘mother’ to my friends,  always ‘there’ for others, always being their ‘kleenex’ to cry on or their punching bag at times as well – figuratively speaking – and me believing that I had to always ‘be there’ for them – but when it came to me even daring to open up my own experiences and share myself, I rarely did because I perceived that ‘they didn’t want to hear it’ and so I would go into suppression, which means not talking, not opening up my experience, not wanting to share because of going into a pattern of ‘what’s the point, they don’t care, they won’t listen.’

This became quite a mess because then one becomes other people’s ‘canes’ to walk as I have described before as well, and it’s a very compromising situation where one believes one has to be ‘the strong person’ that is always there for others, as if we didn’t need others to be there for us in an equal manner from time to time.

So, lately I’ve been looking at the kind of outcomes I created in my life based on decisions and choices I made that I took ‘pride’ on for having done them entirely by myself, not cross referencing to anyone at all and kind of just ‘going for it’. At the same time it became a learning experience as well,  I can only learn of not having been honest with myself in demanding myself some clarity about the whole ‘plan’ and being willing to see what kind of emotional experiences or situation I was at the time and how in this belief that ‘I should not bother others with my situation’ or ‘I should not even bother to make a call’ or ‘I should not take their time, I can handle it myself’, it is in fact a point of ego that is unfortunately a common thing for me to do, instead of being aware of the support that I can reach out based on the same principles that I apply and extend to others coming from me at the same time.

But, what did I do instead of ‘reaching out’? I went into my ego and even if I was very much ‘in need’ of a second perspective about my decisions and choices, I didn’t do any of that and went on my own with it all, resulting in a point of creation that could not stand the test of time because the starting point of it was flawed in terms of ‘who I was’ at the time.

I had to then face my own point of creation and its outcome, where I had to see that who I had become at the time was more of a ‘victim’ of a particular experience, such as feeling abandoned or loneliness or ‘not worthy’ of other’s time and in doing this, I spent quite some time without really opening up what I was going through to anyone, which resulted in me making decisions based on this experience of being able to ‘do things on my own’ which looking back, could have prevented some consequences if I had cross reference or opened them up at least with another person that I am aware I can trust in their judgment.

So now that it has happened, I can only learn from it and prevent myself going into thinking that ‘I can do this on my own, I can decide by myself, I don’t need to bother others, I don’t need others to reference this’. The outcome is that I ended up in a way spiting myself, because I am the one that had to walk through and live with my creation and be there ‘all the way’ in it, even though I knew that I could have probably done things differently if I had opened up to others and cross-reference my situation, my starting point simply to remind myself of my self-honesty.

See this is where the network of people that are walking this same process at Desteni becomes so relevant as well, where there’s a set of buddies that are there to support back those that are also applying the same tools and process. And this way one knows that another person or your ‘buddy’ will be there as a cross reference of one’s self-honesty, it’s really that simple, it is not like anyone else can make decisions for you or tell you what to do, but through the basic ability of sharing and opening up an experience or a phase one is walking through in one’s life, and getting some basic points of cross-reference from another to be a guideline into self-honesty, common sense and self-responsibility can make a huge difference in our lives, and that’s also what the Desteni Process is about, because it’s not easy at times to see one’s own ‘flaws’ or ‘points’ to look at, and that’s why the support in it all is so relevant and invaluable.

However, if one has such support but still doesn’t reach out or open up to really lay out what one is going through, then the consequences ultimately are our own to take and walk through.

In the video that Cerise and Joe share they explain how this ‘I don’t want to be a bother’ experience is more of an addictive experience in fact, where one stands in self-victimization, self-pity as a way to not have to take self-responsibility. And that’s why for example in this process and the buddying system, it can be something one tends to resist to do, because one is already very caught up in the mind and resist reaching out and explaining the situation because it would mean one thing: we will actually be reminded of our own responsibility, our own creation to take care of and simply be reminded of our ability to see how we created the whole thing from start to finish and take responsibility for it – either to prevent it or to walk through it if it’s already done.

At the same time, reaching out also means stepping out of self-victimization, self-pity and all of the emotional turmoil that this experience of ‘I don’t want to be a bother’ comes with – all of it being a pattern playing out in an attempt to hide from one’s self-honesty and self-responsibility. However I have proven that it’s not others that we don’t really want to bother, but we simply resist having to get real with ourselves and change, that’s the bottom line.

Another aspect explained in the video and that I agree with is more of an implicit experience in this pattern of ‘not wanting to be a bother’ to others, is how we disempower ourselves by judging ourselves as not good enough to ‘ask for support’ or fearing ‘wasting others’ time’ or ‘being a burden’ to others – and this is precisely something that I have done and experienced, which yes, implies that one is existing in a point of inferiority in relation to ‘not being worthy’ of being supported or being heard by others or reaching out for help when one has already exhausted all possible ways to support oneself.

So here in my case it was a fine line between not wanting to ‘depend on others’ and ‘reaching out – which has been cool in the sense that I have for the most part focused on getting to the ‘bottom’ of my experiences and stand up from it myself, but the reality is that referencing with others such processes and outcomes/results and decisions can be supportive to confirm and reassure our common sense and self-honesty.

Therefore I do say that this is not about turning this pattern of ‘not wanting to be a bother’ to being all the time asking for help – not about that, but about reaching out and sharing, cross referencing as one goes standing up for oneself, working through the experiences using all the tools we have at our reach like writing, self forgiveness, self honesty, self corrective statements and practically living them out as living words that we can then work with and play out in reality, cross referencing with others what works, what we’ve done to assist ourselves, what we are still struggling with even after walking all of these points – and that’s where the communication with others also becomes more resourceful and expansive, rather than becoming dependent on a particular person or point of support in order to always be ‘sorted out’ as well.

Therefore what I see is the key within this all is to be self-honest with ourselves, to be willing to admit where we are going into an experience of ‘not wanting to be a bother’ yet at the same time being in an emotional turmoil where one has tried many things and ways and still not getting ‘through it’ – that’s where it’s definitely needed to reach out because there might be something that one cannot ‘see’ alone, but with the perspective of others one can get some clarity on the way forward in changing oneself in a particular pattern or situation based on our creation, which means that yes, one has to be also willing to see things as they are, in our truth because that’s what this is all about.

Sometimes seeing our truth might feel overwhelming, despicable, ugly, difficult to accept or be simply horrified by it, but these are all judgments that we can also learn to self-forgive and remind ourselves that we can always decide to forgive what we’ve become and instead focus on changing all of those aspects that we fear realizing or seeing about ourselves. No one else can do this for us and that’s a key point here as well where one is in an experience of self-pity about walking through manifested consequences and then go into an experience of ‘I don’t want to bother’ = that’s where it becomes a defense mechanism of the mind to continue wallowing in depression, in excuses, reasons and justifications as to why one cannot stand up and so, it becomes a way to justify ‘why we are not changing’ which is not valid because it’s self-manipulation all the way, where we believe we are seeking some kind of sympathy from ‘others’ but in the end, we are the ones that live with ourselves in such experiences and with the outcomes of the decisions we make or changes we step into in our lives within such experiences – which means, if we are not clear and we don’t reference our decisions even though we know it could use another pair of eyes or ears to see or listen, then that’s ultimately up to us to again, own our creation and learn from it, see what one could have done differently and so prevent doing the same next time.

In my case it’s more of a point of letting go of a belief that ‘I know what I am doing’ or ‘It’s my life’ but those are definitely key words whenever they come up and so stop myself in that moment to rather deliberately look to cross-reference my proposed solution to a certain situation. That way, I also become more humble in my approach towards life in general, where I accept the fact that I don’t always ‘know’ what to do and that it’s a wise thing to ask and cross-reference, this way one also learns to consider other perspectives and it’s a way to expand one’s own array of possible solutions, so it’s a win-win situation considering the fine point of equilibrium: not to become dependent on others to ‘sort things out for us,’ and not go into an ego superiority position of ‘I can do this on my own, I need no one for it’ – but rather being humble to learn, take other perspectives into consideration and from there realize that yes, even if we get to reference with others, it is us that will ultimately have to live with our decisions and ways to sort things out, whether we take others’ perspectives into account or not, which is great as well! Always self-responsibility

Thanks for reading

 

Writing my woes out

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE

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412. How Does Writing Affect Change in this World?

How is it that through me writing I can affect in changing the world? This is a seemingly big question but it does have rather simple considerations to better understand why is it that world change begins with self-change. First of all is about coming to  understand and realize that self-change begins with understanding who one is as the mind. How does this operate?  

 

What we see outside as the ‘mess of the world’ and all of the current wars, crisis, famine, poverty, disrespect and dishonor to one another is our creation.  How do we create this? Well, we are all participating in the world and we are all collectively tacitly agreeing that the misery, pain, suffering is just ‘what we agreed to,’ and so justify it with constructs like nations, money systems, races, religious constructs of all kinds including the religion of self as the ‘who I am’ as a personality compared to this/that person. What happens is that when we divide/split ourselves in these constructs, we become subject to what we know, are told, get taught which is all knowledge and information in our own mind. We then define ourselves entirely by what we learn throughout our living years and integrate it within ourselves as ‘how things are’ and not question it because ‘well it’s all that I’ve ever been/done so why should I even question it’? which includes thinking, feeling, becoming emotional, doing what our parents and authorities tell us we should do and so, by not questioning ourselves in our minds, we then of course by default do not question the world around us – and vice versa. In my case first came the questioning of the world, misery, problems around me and ‘out there in the world’ and later on questioning myself as the source and origin of this mess-world we have created.

 

What’s the role of writing oneself in beginning to understand the mess of this world as our creation?

Through writing we start seeing ourselves as words, through that we start developing our self-awareness which means getting to see ourselves beyond the veil of who we are as the mind, as a personality, as part of a particular culture, religion, education, family, political affiliation, preference or anything else that we’ve defined as ‘who we are’ and instead start questioning all of these ideas of ‘who I am’ as a first point of existential self-assessment. Otherwise, I mean, how can one ever get to a point of understanding about ‘the mess of this world’ if we see it as some kind of ‘amorphous mess created outside of ourselves’? It doesn’t make sense, does it? Where’s our role in it then? Whose victims would we then pose as if we believed we had ‘no say’ in how the world works? Absolute abdication of self-responsibility is what happens when we make ourselves subject to these ideas where one sees the problem ‘outside of oneself’ which is how through writing one starts understanding that the problem, the friction and conflict is derived from one’s participation in the mind, in one’s thoughts, feelings, emotions and living that out in the world as ‘our ways of coexisting/dealing with one another in the world’ which is then entirely mind based = not considering how we affect one another, what is involved in the decisions we make, who gets benefited and harmed by the tacit agreements we have as society.

Another aspect is that we tend to want to change ourselves/the world in quantum time/in one go, just because the water is ‘up to our necks’ which means one is having the consequences at the front door or already well into it and so there comes a desperation, an emotional experience attached to such consequence in a way that the ‘desire for change’ becomes just that, a yearning and fueling desire which is nothing else but an energetic experience that in the end amounts to anything, as an energetic experience in the mind doesn’t support us to change in itself, however we can use such mind experience to rather question ourselves about it: why does this sadness exist within me about how the world system operate? Are my emotions about the conflicts/wars going to create peace? Is my anger toward ‘the powers that be’ going to make any difference in how our society is hierarchically structured? And at the same time the other starting point can come through: does writing about myself, my mind patterns and habits going to amount to any form of change in this world? And within this I would say that there is no certainty other than the certainty we can give to ourselves that we are in fact, as a first point, actually beginning to question ourselves and introspect as to why and how the problems in this world are created based on the ways we think, act and speak as human beings, which are nothing else but broad categories to name our fears, desires, wants, obsessions, insecurities, value/worth perceptions, judgments, etc. All of this is what becomes the fabric of the world system as ‘the mess’ we believe we are separated from, which we are not as it is our day to day participation in this world as people in our minds that generate then the nature of the ‘world system’ which we tend to see ‘outside’ of ourselves or ‘too big’ to change.

 

 

Then, how will one’s writing process eventually become a solution for people starving, suffering and how do ‘I’ walking this written process amount to any of such world-solutions that are very needed?

 

Well, writing in itself as in ‘just writing’ is not a solution to it and there is a whole lot to understand as to how we have come to create the world system in the same mechanisms that we function as at a mind level. Writing enables us to identify how we operate within and without of ourselves, it assists in tracing the patterns and becoming aware of our responsibility to it. An example is getting to understand how we have come to agree to believe that wealth and poverty are acceptable, which is a belief within ourselves. It’s about investigating how we have kept countries in deliberate poverty and some others as deliberate royals in order to maintain the disparity going as the ‘legit’ reasons for poverty and wealth to exist and the ever present inequality. Poverty is the outflow of us not considering all beings as equally deserving the right to live in dignity and so believing that some countries/nations/corporations are meant to have ‘more power’ because (list/name justifications here) and within that, one falls into the trap to justify the existence of poverty and abuse with such reasons/justifications of why it ‘makes sense’ apparently to have rich and poor to such extremes in this world. Some of the reasons for poverty being that then, there will always be sufficient people living in survival mode that will be willing to work at no matter what ‘rate’ to get money to live and so in turn, serve the minority that has most of the power and control – money – to pay for it. In this, can’t we see that the reasons/excuses/justifications are exactly the same ones we have at an individual level when it comes to justifying one’s personal interests such as greed, not wanting to take self responsibility or wanting either a leader or a servant to do things for us? Same arguments apply, it’s our greed and self interest what drives this reality around, It’s who we are/what we accept in our minds that which exists as ‘how the system operates.’ Another example here: what is money if not a mind construct, an ‘agreement’ that we’ve come to place our blinding faith and word into to make it real – without such agreement and belief into it: money would be no different to the toy paper money that I used to play with as a child.

So what is the principle standing behind money? A belief in value – and what is a belief but a mind construct, a belief system, a set of accepted knowledge and information we impose onto reality, that we become it/embody it and stand in as the actual ‘living force’ of this entire mess; we are the ones that make it ‘functional’ through the ways we think, act and speak without consideration of how we affect each other’s lives, environments and minds with the ways in which we tacitly agree to participate in this society as a whole. And this is how through writing and understanding how our own programming, our own ‘environmental influence’ shapes how we behave, the decisions we make, the starting point of our decisions and how we interact with one another we come to realize that the unfortunate – but self-created – outflow of events as all the abuse in this world is actually nothing else but an outflow of who we are/what we have become ourselves in the mind: our acceptances and blind allowances. The most common example is once again money: one would not be able to ‘make it real’ if it wasn’t by a series of mind constructs, beliefs, ideas, perceptions, assumptions, indoctrination that we have come to assume as ‘how things operate.’

This is how when looking at a particular problem and investigating its causes, invariably, no matter which aspect of this reality you take into investigation as part of the world system, it will be able to be traced and brought back to self, to who we are as the mind, which is why this process of change is multi-dimensional, at all the various levels in which we have layered our reality.

 

 

Imagine you have a very neat white room with various essential objects to make it into a definition of a bedroom: bed, night table, a lamp, a dresser to name a few ‘essentials’ so to speak. But, what happens when one starts adding more and more decoration and furniture over time, from all the various preferences of the people living in it throughout the years, along with layers of paint, deterioration that comes with use, all the various complete overhauls of the space’s purpose etc. Of course this room will end up containing all those changes throughout space and time accumulated as layers of ‘time’ according to all the people that have used that bedroom/space.  So, getting it back to that initial pristine white room with the essentials to function will take a while, a cleaning/dismantling process within the consideration that just ‘destroying’ the room is not an option. The same applies for ourselves as our individual and global process: it will most certainly take a long time to do the changes we want to see or envision can be implemented in this world and in our personal lives. However why waiting for such ‘ideal’ if we know beforehand that ideals don’t come or appear as some kind of ‘spontaneous creation’: things/events/circumstances are always directed, there’s someone’s effort and intellect placed into it, and that’s where we go back to realizing that it is us that create such ‘global decay’ over time, because the Earth in itself was quite fine managing itself – so the ‘mess’ we perceive of this world as a separate point from ourselves, is in fact a life and a deception that we have to become self-honest about: we’ve created it ourselves and so it’s about becoming self-honest to be able to take self-responsibility here.  

Back to the example of the bedroom over time: when one is absorbed in the mind, we tend to not see the connection between the mess of the room we have around us as our environment and our direct participation in having actually turned that room into the mess it is, and not only ‘us’ but also containing the previous inhabitant’s traces and past decorations/use and deterioration of the place – this is exactly what we have inherited as this world and what we currently live as in our own bodies and lives. So we know that it won’t be an ‘easy step’ to simply try and ignore our own participation in the creation of this mess and merely focus on being depressed, sad, angry or frustrated about the mess we see around us as that messy room. Why not instead dedicating ourselves to go dismantling the mess point by point, layer by layer of dust, deterioration, getting things sorted back into their place, getting rid of other things that are no longer required, doing the necessary reparation work, replacing any parts/components that have been overtly used and so essentially take the time, space and actual process to see how one can best improve one’s room according to also assessing the furniture/items you can still keep/use, some others that you can use as foundation to build something else with them that is more reliable/sturdy and with a renewed purpose. The same applies to our process in our minds: it’s about being able to assess one’s mind, personality, one’s participation in this world within such personality and see if what I am living/doing is in fact best for all, if what ‘moves’ us every day is only self-interest or if we have integrated some principles in our lives – therefore we can also become creative in such process as well, realizing our physical limitations in terms of money/space/time to create something, but definitely to not die merely ‘trying’ to change or to get to some developments, but simply make it our purpose of living: to get to live to our fullest potential as individuals and as a collective, humanity.  

 

Eventually, as more and more people start realizing that the mess, the problems, the perceived lack, crisis and problem in this world originate at a mind/individual level, by all the behaviors, ideologies, ways of interacting, what we accept and allow, thinking, how we feel about ourselves and each other becoming our starting point of ‘who we are’ then we can certainly start ‘connecting the dots’ or ‘filling in the gaps’ to see that the problem we would vastly usually see as something ‘separate from ourselves’ and believing ourselves to be ‘helpless to change,’ will be so no more – why? Because then one understands and comes to realize that things like sadness, helplessness, worry, fear, anger exist as an emotional experience that we blind ourselves from actually physically assessing what is and would be possible to change in this world, how can we correct or align things that are currently not working at an individual and collective level in the first place. That is also possible when one understands through writing out one’s personal process of self-investigating one’s mind that becoming sad, angry, frustrated at ‘the problems in the world’ or at seeing wars, poor people, hungry people, seeing other humans  as ‘the bad guys’ will not solve the problem, but merely reinforce the idea that we are the ‘victims’ as in ‘this is being done To us’ without realizing that we are in fact the victims of our own personal experience as emotions about it, which in the end stands as an obstacle to genuinely change –  or a comfortable lie/blindness as a justification to not change.

 

So in essence, does writing have an impact on the world around us?

Only writing in itself will not. Writing used as the tool of self investigation such as the writing of one’s patterns, behavior, preferences, fears, worries is a method to get to know ourselves and so get to understand how we operate/live, what we have come to accept and allow. Writing can also be something that promotes in itself change, that inspires people to actually start looking within themselves such as what we do here as part of this process of self-awareness and self-honesty, where we start questioning everything that we’ve been and so assess whether what we are, do, what we participate in at an individual or collective level in fact stands ‘the test of time’ which is a saying to point out that the mess is created when we do/act/think in ways that are not best for all, ways that only benefit ourselves and do not consider all parts/people/beings involved. So, this is something that would not be possible to assess if one hadn’t actually begun to write/explore one’s life, motivations, purposes and so take the directive action upon it, to physically start testing out these alignments as part of what we see makes sense to change in one’s life and one’s participation in our everyday living. For this, writing then becomes a ‘self-tracking/self-assessment’ tool so that we can also go understanding how ‘the way the world works’ is primarily a reflection of these same individual patterns we face at an individual level. Then, the world stops being this ‘amorphous mess’ and starts ‘making sense’ from the perspective that we see our direct outflow and consequence created by the way we  live in this world, what we come to ‘agree’ about and how that affects each other’s lives, which includes all living beings on Earth.

 

So, to get to world change, we require to first stop the mess, the continuous conflict and friction within ourselves in our minds and deliberately start aligning ourselves to practically assess in every moment whether what we do/decide to do is self-supportive for oneself and others, using words to script the new foundation of what we see is best to live by, words that benefit myself and everyone else as well. By doing this, one realizes that writing is the workshop process, it is a starting point for self-change. However the changes and solutions to affect world change do require global collective participation, which is how we will only be able to change people’s living conditions around the world when more and more people realize that we create ‘the world’ as a direct reflection of who we are in our minds, and that’s how the process of world change begins with self-change and one by one in our collective decision to structure solutions that place an order to our self-created chaos, we can come to generate solutions that will affect each other’s lives to better them.  This is essentially what self-writing does and from there, one can also start expanding into introspecting about the world system, investigating the sources of the problems and aligning them by our decision to do so, to do and agree what is best for all.

 

Try out the tools of Self-Support such as Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self  Honesty and Self Corrective Application at the online free course DIP Lite : http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

 

Support for mental disorders - Desteni I Process

 

To learn more about Writing Oneself to Freedom:


392. Why are Emotional Relationships a Fuckup?

Continuing from:

 

“So the disillusionment with arts have to do with My Own expectations about it. How I thought that this was ‘the way’ to change the world and of course I didn’t follow through with ‘becoming an artist’ in the traditional sense which I then perceived as myself already ‘opting out’ of it all and seeing the sheer idea of dedicating myself to ‘create art’ as utterly selfish, without realizing how much I had desired ‘that’ to be my reality before. I’ve also been recently sharing about these points with people, explaining how I’m not proud of the decisions I made earlier on in my life and how I would not recommend anyone to study arts. I do however not say ‘don’t study arts’ but simply place my own expectations, my own experience, my decision to do something else and how such studies were a nice platform but not real tools that I can apply to what I am doing now.” From 387. The Love/Hate Relationship with Art

 

Nostalghia

 

Facing Myself, my Relationships through the Relationship with Art

I suggest to read:  What does it Mean to Have a Relationship with Oneself? – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 608 by Andrew Gable

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define my relationships based on emotions and feelings wherein it doesn’t matter whether it is arts or a person or a responsibility or a place, the moment that I create emotional and feeling attachments to places/people/objects/professions then I begin creating my own trap through definitions based on what I believe that ‘I like’ and what I believe is ‘my thing’ based on nothing else but emotions, feelings, experiences that I went attaching toward something/someone over time, and then believing that I am in fact all of these experiences, emotions and feelings in relation to something or someone, without realizing that such experiences cannot define what such something or someone is in fact, as it is all entirely self-created, it is me-myself that has created this experience within me.

Within this premise, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to immediately automate the words ‘my relationship to/with something/someone’ being defined as an experience that I have built toward something or someone instead of the actuality of how I participate, interact with, communicate with /through something or someone and within that realizing that any experience that I create is entirely my own and has nothing to do with that something or someone but myself at all times.

Therefore I realize that the projections upon ‘art’ is in fact the experience that I have created toward the who I was within that time of my life when I chose to study art and that If I were to place myself within that same frame of mind 7 years ago, I would probably still go for that choice in life, which means that it is a decision I made entirely based on what I wanted to experience and who I wanted to be as a personality, an ego and satisfy my drive that I went building up throughout time to ‘make it’ within the art world – so this point I have opened up before however now I am able to see that it has nothing to do with ‘art’ in itself, I’ve made of art the excuse to project my own judgments toward my decisions, the way that I established relationships toward this something that I ‘built myself’ around, and as such because I realized I could not continue constructing myself as ‘an artist’ within the initial ideals I had, then I acted in spite and begun regretting and embarrassed by my choices in life as I see them as ‘useless’ without realizing that I was actually reacting at all the various others things I did in my life throughout that time of which I cannot be proud of either and that I cannot certainly recognize as ‘myself’ any longer so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define me according to the relationships that I built with people and with specifically my career as ‘arts’ which in fact reflect all the choices in my life, the people that I chose to surround myself with and that I cannot really judge myself for who I was back then as back then I had no awareness of the points I am aware now.

So I realize that I have to stop being ‘hard’ on myself based on this hidden-experience of having ‘the past haunting me,’ and so be able to finally let go of it as I do not have to re-enact this kind of shame or embarrassment about myself, my past relationships, my emotionally-driven decisions in life because it is to realize that back then I didn’t know any other way – and so instead I am grateful to be able to be here writing myself, having deviated from ‘the path’ that I had initially chosen as god knows where the hell I would be if I had followed through my ‘lifestyle’ and the relationships I built around the same ego and personality that I was. I rather see and recognize that I’ve definitely moved on from that phase of my life, but! Also realizing that every time that I create an experience toward any memory, any relationship, any past choice including my decision to study arts, I recreate the entire network of ‘the who I was’ in my past and as such I continue enslaving myself to those relationships and only fuel the negative experiences that are the opposite polarity to the initial positive experiences that I used to build my relationships with people and with the profession/career I was veering myself toward.

And within this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to follow the usual pattern within the mind which is ‘dissing’ something once that one has squeezed the last drop of positive experience out of it, which means that once that it ‘served me’ and ‘its purpose’ and I’ve hit the ground back into reality about it and I am no longer seeing visions based on emotional and feeling experiences, then I go into the opposite polarity of talking bad about it and feeling righteous within that, without realizing that it is only the predetermined and rather predictable outcome from an initial positive experience that I created with such ‘passion’ about it that when the whole experience was no more, I ‘dropped’ down to the bottom and the opposite – so it happened just like a typical relationship wherein people first get in love with each other and as time progress and the energy runs dry, they part ways and talk shit about each other, so that’s what I did toward ‘art,’ and I didn’t even realize it because to me it was so right that it hadn’t fulfilled my expectations that I believed I had ‘the right’ to feel that way about it, without seeing the obvious: it was a feeling, an emotion, a judgment that came from nothing else but the ‘who I was’ toward art and so, within this ‘dissing’ recreating my past relationship to art over and over again – trapping myself in my own past.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to form emotional relationships toward what I deemed as ‘my career’ or ‘my path’ which in this case was art/being an artist and within this allow a physical process to become a rather emotionally driven relationship, similar to those that I’ve walked with individuals wherein there are a lot of feelings and emotions attached to something/someone that I want to hold onto and when the relationship is no more, such dependency then turns into a ‘lack’ of this fulfillment gotten from something or someone and as such, it turns into a form of bitterness ‘toward something or someone,’ without realizing that this all is really not about ‘art’ in itself or the people in my past relationships or else, it’s about myself and how I created relationships of dependency upon others in order to ‘satisfy me’ or ‘complete me’ or give me some kind of experience to which I could define myself, build myself, construct and upgrade myself as the ego that I was wanting to be within the ‘who I am’ as a professional artist as well as within the relationship formed in relation to who I am as an artist and in relationship to others.

 

Therefore I realize that the best way to follow through with this is to entirely let go of my experiences toward my past specifically and so be able to give myself back to myself as being able to focus on what is here, what I am working with, what I am developing as myself and also to align my relationship to art and be able to enjoy it, visiting museums or read about it, hear it, interact with it without loading the entire experience of ‘going to the museum’ and defining myself according to that any longer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful in the past few years and whenever I would talk about some forms of contemporary art become infuriated and a bit angry about what I defined as being utterly selfish and self-centered and ‘useless’ to the problems that I was then realizing were ‘much more important than that’ – and in this, I still agree that there are more important points in life than some kinds of art that are merely conceptual and contemplative and ‘useless’ as a tool to create practical solutions to the world – however, this obviously doesn’t justify the fact that I’ve been spiteful and holding this love-hate relationship to it, and within this only fueling an inner conflict of still being interested in or curious about the current art forms that are emerging while at the same time judging it as useless so here

I had considered myself to feel bitter about art

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Bitter: causing pain or unhappiness. Feeling or showing angry hurt or resentment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bitter about art as in becoming resentful toward it and toward the people that create it, not realizing that I had exactly done the opposite for a prolonged period of time which is why the inner conflict arose in the first place, all based on me wanting to make of art the quintessential human experience and making it the most ‘honorable profession on Earth’ or so, and so believing that being an artist was the same or similar thing as to say I was chosen by god and/or touched by god, so in essence a lot of delusions of grandeur that I created within me and that I projected toward art. So, this bitterness as in being angry, resentful, dissatisfied toward art has to do with me having to let go of my own desires/hopes/dreams related to me becoming an artist. So once again, it has nothing to do with ‘art’ in itself but the expectations and experiences I created toward it and so, when realizing I had to stop pursuing my mind any further and only feeding my ego, that’s when the opposite relationship came up.

When and as I see myself feeling bitter about any form of art that I may see, read about or even people that create art and discuss their work – I stop and I breathe, I ensure that I am not tensing my physical body and experiencing that bolt of energy within me wanting to ‘let them know the truth about their creation’ which is in fact nothing else but me wanting to ‘express’ through reaction, as if I had ‘the truth’ within myself and so within this actually becoming nothing more than an ego that wants to be recognized for ‘my new position’ which is not really supportive but only a packet of resentment, judgments and overall bitterness toward that which I once praised.

I realize that this all comes from how much the entirety of ‘my world’ and ‘myself’ that I deemed as ‘real’ and ‘genuine’ were in fact not, so this whole relationship with art I remember very well was the first initial ‘big hit’ that I took when understanding who we are as the mind, as a preprogrammed mind consciousness system and that the thing I feared losing the most was the personality I had created through/as art and having chosen that path for myself, which is why that initial big fear of loss about this self-definition had such a ‘big impact’ in the aftermath, wherein I allowed myself to not be entirely self-directive toward art but instead then create the opposite polarity and so still participating within the mind. And this came through even though I believed I was ‘well over with it,’ only to test out not long ago that there were still reactions coming through the more ‘artistic’ documentaries I would watch and wanting to ignore the reactions to it until I simply believed that I had to ‘speak my mind’ about it – and yes, it was ‘my mind’ and a till here no further to when and as I see myself questioning or asking another about their creation from the starting point of the ‘bitter drop-out of an artist’ that I became in my mind, and so stop defining myself based on the choices of the past and focus on communicating or creating a dialogue based on what we can learn from it, what can be useful to understand our human condition or even innovate and take points to be creative in the ways that I can support myself and others through this process while using art as a supportive tool for it, without endowing it the entire ‘duty’ of ‘changing the world’ in itself, which as I’ve previously discussed, it’s impossible.

When and as I see myself wanting to create an experience of spite or disdain and bitterness toward ‘art’ and seeing it as useless or pointless while at the same time being curious about it, I stop and I breathe – I realize that both the negative and positive experiences are only re-creations of the ‘who I was’ in the past as an art-lover and then the who I became as the anti-thesis of that which was pretty much being very critical toward art within a negative context, and so I simply stop, breathe and observe/interact with it without creating any experience but rather seeing it objectively for what it is. And this is the challenge really because I had cult-ivated the experiences attached to works of art and becoming emotional about it, which I also learned from books at the same time. So I realize that all of my emotions and feelings are in fact nothing else but knowledge and information that I’ve translated into energetic experiences that serve no purpose for me to interact with something or someone.

 

I commit myself to be able to be here as breath while witnessing performances, watching/visiting museums or art galleries and also to remain here as breath when getting too excited about seeing something because that’s also once again recreating the same pattern of the visual vicious – which I’ve talked about extensively of – and so realize it’s just images, it’s just pictures, it’s just a part of reality and the only way I can ‘react’ to something is if I ‘load’ all my past-definitions in order to react based on memories and the knowledge that I had built around art and the ‘who I am’ toward art. So I can practically simply stop those past definitions and focus on reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to read about the Stendhal syndrome in some book and consider that I would get this kind of experiences such as seeing ‘the sublime’ and mostly images that would depict the end of the world, which is why I focused myself so much on depicting the end of the world and getting a kick out of it, and believe that these emotions were ‘normal’ to me and that I had all the right to ‘express them’ but, the reality is that it was all a self-created experience and that there was no ‘magic’ or ‘real connection’ to painting or anything like that which I believed was something ‘special’ within me. Therefore I realize that these experiences were pretty much all created within my desperate need to ‘feel something’ because I had deemed the ability to ‘feel’ as in becoming emotional as special, as sensitive, as ‘unique’ in a human being – and so I created my own web of experiences according to how I would see others would feel and so mimic it, read books that were very emotional and then going determining what I would find as ‘emotional’ and what I would like to experience and so integrate as part of the ‘who I was’ as the characters that I read about and that I eventually wanted to create for myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to made of past relationships as something conflictive and filled with ‘turmoil’ inside my mind as I realize that this was also part of the definition of who I wanted to be as a very sensitive person in order to be able to have stories to tell or talk about, as I believed that I had to suffer to make any real art. Therefore, I realize that any experience I created toward something or someone wasn’t part of reality as such, but entirely self created in my mind. Within this, I realize that also in my relationships the experiences I created about others were never ‘real’ as such, but only the plethora of experiences and definitions I created upon them – that’s why once the energy ran dry and seeing the individuals or situations that I was in within my life with sober eyes and frame of mind, the ‘truth’ of myself and the interactions with others/something came through as it is.

 

So a way to redefine a relationship it is to first of all no longer define tit through/as an emotion or feeling, something that we believe is ‘real’ in the mind based on memories, ideas, beliefs, past experiences that we then make real as our preference, as that which ‘we want,’ without taking physical reality into consideration.

Therefore an emotional relationship will always end up as a ‘fuck-up’ if it is not aligned to physical reality wherein I can stand as an individual that first of all ponders what it is that I sought in my relationship with something/someone that I believed I didn’t have myself, alone – and so realize that whichever I was expecting to get from ‘art’ or someone in my life were and had been all points of separation, illusions that I believed were unable to be experienced within me. So this is how the best way to create a relationship with someone or something is to ensure that it is seen through the eyes of physical reality, where no emotions, feelings, no past experiences, no ideals, wants, needs or desires become a decisive factor in terms of defining who I am toward others, as all I have to consider is myself and within doing that I can then interact with something/someone based on the principles that I can integrate within myself, as the relationship that I want to establish for myself so that no matter what I do, where I am, with who or alone, I remain stable, supporting myself, getting to know about others in the relationships formed with my reality, recognizing myself as one and equal with them, instead of seeing them as points to ‘fulfill me’ or things/experiences that I believed I lacked.

I realize that it’s been supportive to revisit this aspect of ‘my relationship to art’ to review my state of affairs in relation to other relationships based on emotions in the past, and so to focus on preventing further ‘fuckups’ as the ups and downs and polarity relationships of ‘love and hate’ as that is all of the mind –  instead there are more physical aspects and perspectives to consider here as well.

Life on Earth in itself is built through relationships, so I cannot define relationships only as personal relationships with something or someone, but rather realize that we are all made of and constantly require and exist as relationships that define the way we live in our world – therefore the more we are able to act, participate and be part of these relationships in a physical and common sensical manner without being driven by desires, hopes, dreams, fantasies and illusions, the more we will be able to begin changing the focus of our reality – from the distraction that emotional relationships are to a rather physical process of aligning ourselves to that which enables our coexistence in the best possible manner – no feelings/emotions required for that, no special relationships but rather the equalization and realization of who I am as this interdependence

 

to be continued…

Mechanical Heart 06

 

To learn more about how to establish proper Relationships suggest the Re-defining Relationships – Agreement Course  as well as:


387. The Love/Hate Relationship with Art

Here we go…

I require to open up – again – the relationship with art. I’ve noticed that I created some sort of past bad relationship experience with it, similar to the ones that I’ve had with people throughout my life wherein there were things unsaid, situations undirected and just cutting it up from one day to another without further communication. I realize I’ve done this with art creation and the general regret I’ve had in terms of the decision I took some 8 years ago to go to art school and actually drop out from my first choice which was linguistics and which would have probably been a lot more supportive for me to have as a degree than arts, and so there goes regret as well for the choices I made in the delusion of ‘I want to express myself ’ and limit that definition to only ‘arts’ and specifically visual arts. To begin with, a disclaimer here is to understand that I am walking/writing out my frame of mind and that whichever judgment I place here in relation to arts/artists/creative processes in art is what I’ve conjured up throughout time and self-reflection about my decisions in life and in no way does this imply an actual ‘bashing’ as all of these judgments, ideas, perceptions, conceptions will be self-forgiven.

 

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The Illusion in this world is my responsibility

It’s been a bit over 10 years when I first begun painting and the experience within that was that of enjoyment when being able to pull out everything that I would usually write in creating these images/paintings that I then started defining as ‘who I am’ and within that, already beginning to define and limit my future according to wanting to be an artist, to be able to write or paint or play music or anything that had to do with what I assumed would enable me to express myself and at the same time, be able to instigate some sort of change in the world.

I’ve mostly walked throughout the years the ‘emotional’ aspect to art and my decisions to be an artist in order to not have to ‘be in the system’ and not have to face it, and not have to deal with a lot of people, being able to stand in the ‘background’ so to speak, like someone with ‘special needs’ or ‘special mind’ and ‘special interests’ hidden in a room behind some canvass or else, yet at the same time having the works themselves get to as many people as possible…. So that’s the type of idea of a nice, lavish lifestyle I was pursuing some 8 years ago, and I was quite on the ‘good track’ getting some initial points of recognition that also led me to see the ‘fame’ for what it was and really question myself if that is what I really wanted: to have some pictures in some room in another place in this world seen by other people and be glorified by how nice they are? Well, I decided it was not the way to do what I was already veering myself to do, which is wanting to ‘Change the world’ and thus using art as the way to change the world…. separation here, yes, in trying to use this one thing to ‘change the world’ without really realizing that nothing/no one can ‘change the world’ in itself, but ourselves.

 

So that’s where we begin.

The idea of Art as an instrument to “Change the World.”

The point is I tried to make My definition of Art fit with what would enable me to use it to demonstrate that it is possible to change the world. However I realized that no matter how many images I make, how many pictures I take, how many great ideas I would have I was entirely mostly having an imaginative outflow of how this could operate without ever really landing it into any serious/real project. I always kept everything at a low-fi level because right after the first year in Art school, I discovered Desteni and my interests veered dramatically – hence the ‘shutting down’ of any pursue to further my career to make a name of myself etc. However little did I know that as I’ve seen throughout time, many artists or creative people are the ones that have been able to conceive new ways of how to develop a society that is better for everyone. Somehow people related to art are at the head of certain movements like the proposition for a Basic Income by Enno Schmidt who is an artist. The example I’ve been able to see with a more ‘landed’ discourse on social change is Joseph Beuys that dared to propose an economic, political and social change through the realization that such change begins with self, using one’s thoughts and actions as the tools with which to sculpt ourselves and so becoming the change that we want to see in this world, by understanding the interdependent relationships we have toward one another and our necessity to establish a genuine economy that reflects the true inputs of the real capital – human work/intellect or applied intellect and the use of resources to provide a dignified living to everyone in a particular society/environment- which means everyone should be equally involved in this.

“Social Sculpture, a concept and medium the artist devised and later theorized in “I am Searching for Field Character” (1973), which articulates his belief in the creative capacity of every in-dividual to shape society through participation in cultural, political, and economic life. With his proclamation that “EVERY HUMAN BEING IS AN ART-IST,” poised to join others in the construction of “A SOCIAL ORGANISM AS A WORK OF ART,” Beuys reprised the fervor and axiomatic language of manifestos written by avant-garde artists in the early twentieth century. This promulgation expanded what art could be by acknowledging the viewer’s ability to co-create meaning alongside the artist and, consequently, placed the production of art and knowledge within the scope of the viewer just as much as that of the artist.” – Joseph Beuys – Organization for Direct Democracy by Referendum

 

He went on as far as creating direct democratic referendums as part of his work of art and forming part of a political party, as well as founding a school that was aimed at providing the necessary platform for people to continue the work of social sculpture – which unfortunately I haven’t seen any further fruition from it. He also went on with economists and discussed the concept and idea/symbol of money and with that book ‘What is Money?’ realizing that the idea of social, political and economic change is not an entirely dissociated idea from an artist’s field of work. He also even funded an educational institution which is part of his legacy to continue understanding the multidisciplinary processes that education should involve.

It is so that having the ability to question more, to question reality, to analyze it in its complexity from the ‘eye of an artist’ can lead us all to become better social scientists,   questioning things that have become automated in our reality: money, politics, education, social structures, words and their definitions, mass media and its power to brainwash everyone… then I found people like Guy Debord and Marshall McLuhan who completed the narrative in relation to the world system as the reflection of ourselves, of our ‘revolutions’ as failed attempts to change something that first should be changed at an individual level – and this all made sense, I am grateful for having read these individuals to confirm what I was at the same time walking with/as part of Desteni as well as Foucault on his first chapter in Madness and Civilization about the Ship of the Fools or Stultifera Navis wherein every person that would be defined as ‘crazy/ mad/ eccentric’ would be ousted from society along with every other individual that would simply not be willing to conform to the norm or be defined as mentally insane. I could relate to all of this, however it was all still too defined within the ‘artistic realm’ and so what I did is that upon realizing that ‘art’ for now is ‘just another sector of society’ and almost another cult/religion in itself, I tried to dissociate myself from such tag just because I had judged it as pretentious and ‘special,’ because that is how I came to judge myself or who/what I was going to ‘become’ as an individual if I hadn’t actually stopped myself from upgrading and accumulating all of this definitions onto the ‘artistic persona’ I was aiming at becoming.

I’m also glad that I’ve done that because then the whole ‘specialness’ and ‘uniqueness’ idea of myself that I had about me and that I believed that I should be ‘recognized for’ in the world has been mostly vanished. But after that, there’s  a ‘void’  left in terms of the relationship to art/creative expression as I mostly simply stopped it altogether and wanted to have– apparently – nothing to do with it, which involved me having finished also school in Arts where most of the time I was already knowing that I wasn’t going to become an ‘artist’ in the most traditional sense of the word. I learned about many points wherein artists have participated in ‘revolutionary movements’ but certainly it is no different to how any artist at the moment goes out and paints murals about Snowden, Manning and Assange to glorify them as heroes and shouts at the front of some parliamentary building demanding change… which is absolutely futile.

 

It was not enough

 

So the disillusionment with arts have to do with My Own expectations about it. How I thought that this was ‘the way’ to change the world and of course I didn’t follow through with ‘becoming an artist’ in the traditional sense which I then perceived as myself already ‘opting out’ of it all and seeing the sheer idea of dedicating myself to ‘create art’ as utterly selfish, without realizing how much I had desired ‘that’ to be my reality before. I’ve also been recently sharing about these points with people, explaining how I’m not proud of the decisions I made earlier on in my life and how I would not recommend anyone to study arts. I do however not say ‘don’t study arts’ but simply place my own expectations, my own experience, my decision to do something else and how such studies were a nice platform but not real tools to do what I am doing now. So when I find ‘artists’ defined as such, there’s an attempt to me to see if they also see the futility that I see in art as well – well this happened with one specific person in one specific moment.

A Spell to Ward off the Darkness is the title of a documentary/film that is mostly existential in nature and more like an ‘art film’ than documentary – even though I agree with Ben Russell, one of the directors, on how an objective documentary doesn’t really exist as there’s always a ‘frame’ that is defined by the one filming/directing, so from that perspective yes it’s not really ‘objective.’ However I did notice that this movie was entirely aimed at creating an emotional experience about it, with majestic landscapes, very little dialogue and loud black metal music at the end. I had the opportunity to ask a question to Ben after the screening and when I realized that my theory of how and why Black Metal emerged ( lol ) was nowhere near their intentions within this movie, and he veered off into something else I saw myself judging the individual as ‘typical artist’ that responds with quite a lot of rhetorical rubbish before getting to answer the question. It didn’t end up there, I wrote him back an email essentially asking him whether he considered art was meant to be a hammer with which to shape the world, to prove that we can change it. And then I got quite a bold and rather supportive reply from him which made me realize that I was being an ego myself trying to impose onto other artists/film makers My idea of what art should be, and how if their creations were merely ‘emotional’ then they were useless to what I’ve defined ‘the purpose’ of art.

I realize that after this brief exchange with him where I had certainly ‘demanded’ some answers from him about his intent on his film, he essentially told me that maybe this wasn’t a text/film for me, and that left it very clear how I was trying to make such film fit my standards of what art should be and be used for, instead of it being a creative process in itself.  I also see and realize that I’ve become a ‘victim’ of my own judgments, my own definitions and so I’ve generated a rigidity about what art was supposed to be, what art didn’t ‘fulfill’ within me and thus justify the reasons why I got to see art as entirely useless and self-centered activity. These are all judgments of course that should be seen for what they are, my own creation in order to become my own ‘word – redefiner’ – (see previous post on Rumsfeld) – in order to make of my decision to not further any artistic endeavors as the ‘right thing to do’ and so justify it with now ‘bashing’ artistic views that are not the same as ‘my own’ somehow so as to make my decision sound right and be righteous about my decision. This is not only the desire to be right about this, but also imposing the same mind-frames with which we have created religions and beliefs in the past, and we’re definitely here to stop such knowledge and information rigidity.

 

Also, the point here is not to go into the usual ‘extremes’ I would tend to go into when quitting/stopping/halting something wherein the entire love-hate relationship is generated. And this is quite the perfect example of how we create ‘hate’ – and even if in my case I wasn’t emotionally ‘hating’ art –  when our initial expectations about something/someone are not met and so, we become the epitome of ‘not wanting to know anything about’ that which we had previously set a high standard upon. This implies also the pattern of ‘blaming’ it, blaming apparently ‘art’ for not fulfilling or satisfying my initial intentions, without realizing that it was me that wanted to first make of art my ‘way out’ of ‘the system’ or a way to evade it, and when realizing I really can’t do that, then I simply believed that I had to ‘let go’ of it overall and completely –  without realizing that this is no different to just running away from a relationship that ‘didn’t work out’ without first taking the time to understand Why it didn’t work out or how and that means that through understanding the problem, we can also create solutions.

My overall attitude to this all, however, was within the mentality of not wanting to create anything but still be interested in looking art, admiring paintings or other artists and kind of playing the game of I like it but I shouldn’t like it – I mean, it is quite an unnecessary game that I create in my mind just because I had previously given too much value onto ‘art’ and what it ‘meant to me’ and how my entire life was supposed to be ‘intertwined’ around art, and how the moment I started dissociating myself from it it meant like a literal relationship breakup, when it should Not be like that at all. I mean if I had criticized this types of relationships between individuals, how hadn’t I seen that I’ve been living the exact same pattern with my relationship to ‘art’ and within that every other person that I related myself to from the art-vein of my life-experience? It doesn’t make sense as that implies I resist ‘it’/them which implies I hold a dear relationship of separation. So this is a till here no further.

 

I have to then point out the practicality of the decision here which I might have written out before but here it comes again so as to iron out any wrinkles on my side. It is no doubt that we all can create things, be expressive in any artistic endeavor and enjoy the process of creating it and sharing it with the world etc. – however at the moment in our world and reality, I do see it as rather impractical to be fully dedicated to the creation of art/plastic arts specifically when there’s so much to get done in this world in relation to education, to understanding who/what we are as human beings in our minds, how we direct in our lives, how we’ve created this world system and through understanding it all, be able to now establish and conduct solutions at an individual and collective level – and this is what I’ve decided to do. However I see that even if for me this is ‘clear’ there’s still a shadow of a doubt in relation to how people ask me ‘what am I doing’ and within this believing that I should be speaking about the many paintings or etchings or whatever I’ve created as a result of my work as ‘an artist’ in the formal/traditional sense of the word.  So I come upfront and explain how I’m not doing that and what I dedicate myself to, which sounds ‘interesting’ to most but I see that as long as I still hold on a judgment about this as me ‘having wasted my time in art school’ or ‘not developing myself as an artist’ then no matter who/what questions are asked, I’ll still experience that shadow of a doubt simply because I’ve judged it as a failed decision in my life.

 

The dictatorship of definitions

And this I might have shared before but it’s relevant to bring it up again as it’s been coming up many more times, as well as with what ‘I do’ with my life since I mostly work on the internet and there is currently no institutionalized career that defines what I do within this process at Desteni to be a point of support for myself and others in this world to walk this process which I do entirely see as vital and the most important thing to dedicate ourselves to in this world, which is a necessary step if we ever want everyone to genuinely enjoy an artistic lifestyle of creating/expressing in a world where hunger, wars, poverty, corruption, greed and a lousy economic system can be no more. All changes begin within self and so I have entirely decided to step aside from my artistic endeavors to dedicate myself to this process of Education, of being an example of this change myself, of supporting other people walking this process, of investigating economic and political solutions, of sharing/talking about these necessary changes at an individual and collective level, as that is how we can then all as human beings take self-responsibility for the world in shambles we have created – so that is what our artistry has been defined by, and I’m in no way proud of the world we’ve wrought here.

 

 

I have also said before how this process in itself is a self-creation process, hence I am my own work of art. However the ‘art’ definition here is obviously not the common one and that’s probably my inner dissonance which I am here to straighten up and redefine so that I stop separating myself from what I’ve defined as ‘artistic creation’ in the most traditional sense and what I ‘should’ be creating,  and rather integrate the principle of self-creation in whatever thought, word, deed as myself including the activities I’ve defined as merely ‘artistic’ such as ‘creative writing,’ shooting videos, painting pictures, taking pictures and lol even as I write this it is like oh shit that’s all just pointless drama-creations of me, who I was before. However that’s how I’ve limited them to be instead of seeing how visual art is quite a powerful way to provide/promote a message and a more digestible or ’friendly’ way to explain living principles through images, films to make them more palpable – whereas with just theory not everyone might be able to find it or understand it.

 

So, this is to see how it is about expanding myself to see the potential that exists in everything that is already here in this world. I would be my own worst enemy if I would define art or being an artist as something pointless or mere egotistic – it is nothing more and nothing less than a definition and judgment, instead of considering that as anything and every other job/profession in this world can be seen for what it is, for its potential, its redefinition to be self-supportive and to use it as a tool to provide ways to look at the world in a different manner and how to ‘eat it’ meaning how to live it, to understand it, to embrace it. That’s what I’ve also noticed is lacking within Art.

 

 

Art as a tool for change?

It’s relatively ‘easy’ to identify the patterns or the problems, and represent them – but driving the problem through to the solutions is mostly always missing. So that’s the kind of principles of self-creation that I’d like to contribute with in relation to art/art-theory if you want to call it that which is not limited to artists or people that study art, but to any human being that wants to become an instrument themselves, a tool with which to conduct and become the change that I realize is necessary in this world. I’ve identified the problems, so I’m working on the solutions and that is no physical ‘work of art’ but if I take on Sol Lewitt’s paragraphs of art in relation to making of the process itself, the structure, the plan of a work of art the ‘piece’ in itself or in other words “If the artist carries through his idea and makes it into visible form, then all the steps in the process are of importance. The idea itself, even if not made visual, is as much a work of art as any finished product. All intervening steps –scribbles, sketches, drawings, failed works, models, studies, thoughts, conversations– are of interest. Those that show the thought process of the artist are sometimes more interesting than the final product.”

 

…then my entire life is also then that: self-creation and supporting other people’s self-creative processes. Lol, am I theoretically justifying myself as an ‘artist’ here? Can be, but why not? I’ve read such blatant bullshit in art-theory that expanding art-theory to self-creation within principles of life in Equality, of Self-Responsibility, of Dignity, Integrity, producing solutions is quite the most meaningful thing we can do as human beings after centuries of emotional, material or conceptual glorification in art. Time for Life to be supported in everything that we do beginning at a thought level and that begins with ourselves, with becoming the master-pieces that I’ve seen and realized I sought to ‘create’ outside of myself or to use ‘art’ as some kind of alter-ego platform to glorify myself through the eyes of others. Self-honesty is required within art, understanding why one wants to create art and if the purpose, aim or objective and starting point of creation is actually aligned with a ‘higher purpose’ or goal which is then how I am seeing that art can be used to educate people, to wake people up, to provide new understandings and ways to understand, behave and co-exist  in the world – but that still has to be lived by and applied by each one of us first as first ‘test-runs’ in this process.

 

I realize there’s really ‘nothing’ that can ‘change you’ as that would then be the idea of this ‘magic red pill’ that you simply take it and understand everything about the Matrix and reality, the mind, who we are as our mind, the world-systems we’ve governed ourselves by, etc. So, in that sense what we can all do is become the example of what it is to walk such process, to provide and produce educational materials/writings/videos or whichever ‘tool’ we can use to support others in the inevitable process that is here as our process of realizing who we really are as life. Easily said, a whole other story to understand it as to what it in fact implies.

 

I’ll continue with walking Self-Forgiveness on specific points mentioned here, as well as the Self Corrective Statements to redirect my relationship formed with art/artistic creation and artists themselves so as to no longer limit myself and others through my own definitions of art or ‘what art should be’ and instead focus on my own process of self-creation and the endeavor I’ve taken on to be that point of support for others as well, a birthing-as-life supporter which is what I in fact really wanted to do since I can remember. I can use all tools available in this world for this purpose without limiting myself within it and that’s also the process of expansion here that is necessary for me to clarify and structure as well.

 

” Economics is not only a money making principle. It can be a way of production to fulfill the demands of people all over the world. Capital is human kind’s ability in work, not just money. Thus economics includes the creativity of people. Creativity equals Capital” – Joseph Beuys

 

 

Fuck Pollock, He's Done it All 05

Fuck it, Pollock has done it all  – 2005

 

Watch:

 

To learn more about the mind and how we can unleash our creative powers by integrating new living principles, check out:


308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS

 

“We have lost all Common Sense, in Pursuit of Happiness”

This is a comment on yesterday’s video which sums up the problem we have created for ourselves within this capitalist ideology and reinforcement of self-determination and individual rights, and the human being ‘an end to himself’ where we have forgotten that: no man’s an island and that no amount of money in the world would be able to materialize the work that only human beings working together are able to create, and that it is functional at the moment due to coercive means that we’ve accepted with statements like ‘Having to make a living’ and ‘Life is a Struggle.’  No society would be functional, no enjoyment, no freedom, no-nothing. However, we are living as if we truly were doing someone else a ‘favor’ for paying them to do us a job, instead of realizing that we simply would not be able to exist as we do now if people weren’t forced to do all the jobs that the majority of the people with more than enough  money would not place themselves to do, and their money sets the rules, and their power is the one that dictates – this is the relationship of power that we have delegated to Money and this is how it is said that

 

 ‘Might Makes Right’                                                    

 

Money became the conditional aspect of our Natural Rights, this means that we have no access to water, food, education, health care, housing or clothing if we have no money. And of course, this also means that Our Happiness is dependent on money too- this debunks any idea or belief of ‘self determination’ or ‘free will’ or ‘free choice’ because, if you have no money, no matter how much might you add to your prayers, food won’t appear on your table.  However those that have more than enough money then focus on pursuing Happiness, which is linked to an excess of money that enables the individual to indulge in luxuries and items that are determined to then help build/construct/ maintain and exacerbate the Individual, the Self, the special and unique being that now seeks to have a proper status, make a name/brand of himself, get the most success in relationships and business or any other endeavor that creates within him the Experience of ‘Power.’ This is what we have entertained ourselves with, why? Because:IT FEELS GOOD. This is all about realizing how we have come to define our lives according to Experience, which is why:

 

Pursuit of Happiness = Mind Experience where No Common Sense Exists

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

As everything else we’re walking in this blog, Words as Concepts and Actions can be Redefined toward a Best for All Outcome, however for the purpose of explaining the problem, we’ll leave this equation as it currently exists.

 

You reading these words are subsumed in a world where marketing has become the actual political power since we make more decisions based on ‘How a product/service makes us FEEL’ and how this new Item will make us ‘Look Expensive,’ instead of making decisions based on living principles, certainly we were not even aware of such Principles such as buying that which is necessary to live and that which will support our living expression as Life, not as a consumerist bot that builds up a self image to be well regarded in the relationship-trading market. Our lifestyles include conveniences like 24/7 always open supermarket where all our needs can be satisfied at any given time. But, who cares about those that have no access to such readily available realm of goods and services? No one cares, we haven’t cared, otherwise we would have become diligent enough to ensure the creation of a world system based on Living Conditions that honor each other individual within the recognition of them being ourselves as well, and we haven’t done that.

 

What will it take for us to understand that we cannot thrive unless we care for each other’s happiness?

As we’ve explained, our Rights stem from Morality which stems from Power, which means separation, abuse, struggle. This is how we’ve become so idiotically used to ‘Fight for our Rights’ when We must be the ones that Ensure that No ‘Might Makes Right’ equation determines how we live. Such condition has made us all accept a hierarchical system where the fittest, the strongest, the mightiest is the one that tells the story, sets the rules and has the ultimate say on whether the majority lives or dies, and we believe absolutism was a thing of the past? Well, no. Totalitarianism still exists today where our rights are not a Readily-Given Right, but are only available if one gets to have access to money to have them. This is worse than any other war that has taken place in the world, an ongoing silent war wherein we deliberate have left people to starve, just because they have no money, no right, and no might either.

 

“Morality would take one into a state of mind of only taking into consideration MY Opinion, MY View, MY perception/interpretation and how that makes ME Feel; when in a moment/direction/decision – there’s A LOT more involved/to consider than one’s own Mind Experience, and so the extent to which, consequentially, one Miss so much that is in fact involved with Decision making and Directive Principle in a Moment.” – Sunette SpiesLIFE-Regulation Practicality (Part Three): DAY 308

 

Why do we have to ‘Pursue our happiness’ and not have it as a natural living condition created by/stemming from the configuration of a social system based on living in equal-rights and responsibilities for all? 

Why have we accepted to strive and struggle as ‘the way the system functions’?

Why have we become so selfish to only seek for our own stardom, specialness and amassing of wealth while cynically ‘neverminding the rest’?

 

Change begins within by considering Happiness as a feel good experience that is only bought with Money, hence the declaration of Independence of the greatest promoter of Capitalism in the world- The United States of America – has set the ‘trend’ on how to move people’s emotional and feeling side as a force in itself to direct to sustain a system of money/greed/desires/power and generate the perfect conditions to Never Question why such happiness was not a readily given Human Right, and why instead we became so infatuated with How we look, How Others see us, How we can Improve our Reputation by owning more property or building a sculptural physique that could be also auctioned at the greatest bid for our own security to maintain such wealthy-living standard. It should be plain obvious that it is absolutely unsustainable to maintain this type of individual dreams multiplied by billions and expect the Earth, the system in itself to not crumble down to pieces. Our desires and wishes and dreams are the actual reasons to go to war, since Might makes Right and a Righteous Nation will use words like ‘Democracy’ and ‘Freedom’ to justify bombing entire countries for the sake of establishing an arbitrary control over other’s lands and population. And this is based on securing people’s pursuit of happiness, manufacturing and scheming pseudo terrorist threats to generate a moral standard of ‘fighting back to not look like a coward’ and justify the millions of lives that are usually lost in such magnanimous type of occupations as it is happening with people in Iraq and Afghanistan.

 

This is how each one’s desire to ‘be more’ and ‘be happy’ becomes an Excuse for the people we have voted for that are In Power, to decide an expansion of one’s power or ‘defense’ –  depends on the biased eye you want to use to look at things with – and wage war against countries that happen to be significantly resourceful in oil and other natural resources wherein the God given right to ‘Defend’ yourself or spread ‘Liberty, Democracy and Justice’ generates the divine access to invade and destroy some other country’s lives in the name of providing enough Happiness for people back home. And this is what we have become: a series of unsustainable desires that justify wars, the extinction of animals, natural resources, slave labor, free markets and lack of social services to all that haven’t precisely achieved their happiness.  This  means that all the feel good driven self-experience to be Happy overriding Common Sense to Support each other as Equals Must have its beginning and end within the individual.

 

We Understand the  level of hard-wiring that we all have wherein our entire education at Home and School has been about ‘Only caring for ourselves’  care about our own interest, our own dreams and happiness. We are not denying such dreams here or plunging yourself now into suffering or ‘giving away all your stuff’ to know what poverty feels like, we’re simply asking each one to take into consideration how Your Dreams can only exist if someone else is left out of that possibility in equality. That’s the basic polarity we have to become aware of: for some to win, others have to lose – there can’t be no ‘two winners’ within a system designed to enslave some to be left as losers to be the ones that build another’s dreams and wealth. This is the Power, the ‘Might’ to Correct, Align and Self Forgive in order to Demonstrate that the actual Power is of the People, By the People and that means All in Equality.

 

If having money ‘feels great’ then why not making the simple decision to make everyone happy/feel great by granting them the right to have equal opportunity to live in such comfortable well being that money provides? We are in fact only making everything more complicated and difficult the moment we agree to ‘pursue’ our happiness which creates competition, stress, rivalry and hatred among individuals we can instead decide to stop such separation and learn how to work as equals. That’s what we would want for ourselves, so let’s give it to all equally as well.

 

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

Freedom For Real - Equal Money

 

Blogs:

LIFE-Regulation Practicality (Part Three): DAY 308

 

Vlogs:


279. My Ambivalent Relationship with Rewards

Let’s look at the word Reward  – and just like any other word that we get to understand as the physical and mental activities or inactivity or condition that it implies, we have to look at what on Earth must we have accepted and allowed for such meaning to exist.

 

Continuing from:

reward
n    noun a thing given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement. a fair return for good or bad behaviour. a sum offered for the detection of a criminal, the restoration of lost property, etc.
n    verb give a reward to. show one’s appreciation of (an action or quality) by making a gift. Ø(be rewarded) receive what one deserves.

 

The following blog allowed me to see the actuality of what this word implies: Mind Value System = Money Value System: DAY 275 

Quoting:

“Which then brings us to our Current Money System – based on a Value-System within the context of ‘Reward’ within the Framework/System of Consumerism: the More Value is placed on Products, the More Money you Pay – with the More Money coming from the very physical labour of/as your physical life force, and so essentially, you “pay with your Life Force”, to make Money – with the Money representing the value of your Labour/Life Force you put into it, to consume products/material possessions that are accordingly Valued in relationship to the Value of the Reward it provide to Humans.” – Sunette Spies

 

The only reason why we have created such form of recognition as an ‘extra’ point is because we haven’t given/gifted ourselves with the necessary value to stop this malarkey of having to ‘give us rewards.’ I absolutely agree and I am glad that this has cleared up to realize that it is in fact a word indicating the ‘extra-value’ that we fool ourselves with in order to recompense/ remunerate someone for their ‘good job.’ The reason why I see this as foolish is because I have considered that it is our task and responsibility to do everything that we participate on to the best of our ability. Now, I must say I haven’t lived by this to the T, I mostly only extended it to what I adopted/ believed was my ‘only duty’ which was being a student, and as such, I would mostly not see the tasks and assignments as ‘chores’ but as single points of responsibility that I had to give direction to no matter what  – yes, there was the ‘fear factor’ of ‘what will happen If I don’t do it’ and many times I broke my own ‘immaculate record’ just to prove myself that I can fuck around as well – quite a self sabotage pattern that I still see I play and which will be addressed because as everything: it is linked.  And now I see the relationship between the line we can blur and re-signify in terms of giving/gifting.

 

So, the word ‘reward’ contains the word ‘award’ and this brought up the memory of when my father would give me some money because of doing good in school – I’ve told this story before here in this blog but just for the sake of seeing the ‘reward dimension’ again –  so, I would initially reject it, because to me having the ‘best grades’ was not really an ‘honor’ but just ‘doing my job’ and this is where the whole construct of ‘rewards’ begun with the negative-imprint toward it, because of my father’s insistence on giving me money for it and how I would then, after a ride of mixed feelings and emotions about it,  end up accepting it along with morality obstructive-aspect of ‘this is not required/ but I also can buy this/this/that with the money’ – thank you Father!’

 

And so, this would happen most of the times that I had my grades given at the end of two months or at the end of the school year, I would sometimes not even want to share them with him because I knew he would feel compromised to say ‘here’s some money, buy your books or cd’s’ and yes, that’s how I mostly earned up my music and book collection, by always having this positive-score as a ‘good student’ and as such my parents wanting to ‘reward’ me somehow. So, within this we can see the aspect of reward: I can buy what I like/ an extra/ a luxury out of a point of recognition for ‘being a good student.’  And it certainly became this form of ‘secure fund’ in a way, which indicates how I obviously DID participate in the rewards point after stepping on my own ‘moral codes.’

 

The most usual form of reward begins when we are babies and we’re eating vegetables/actual food and we are given a spoon of something sweet in between as a positive reward for keeping eating. Quite a foolery really because that’s how we got used to always seeking for something sweet after we ate the whole meal, and if not, it wasn’t a ‘fulfilling meal,’ which means how we created this positive values to sugar and virtually discarded all the actual nutrients we would get from the ‘real food’ just because of not getting that ‘last heavenly experience’ of something sweet.

 

Another one is allowing us to watch TV/ go out/ play if one has finished the homework and as such, obviously there will come a time when full rebellion is sought in this restrictive pattern, because this reward system is simply an energetic trickery that is not based on common sensical understanding of our responsibilities and duties that we should have all acquired from birth with our parents as a principled living condition: I support myself because that enables myself and others to live in Self Responsibility – however this does not operate as such, and as they say here: we do not give a step without a shoe – which means, we always ensure that whatever we do: we will be properly rewarded for. Otherwise, why would anyone remain in our current Schooling System? Oho!

 

Now, here I am not placing myself as a genuine ‘common sensical’ person because I did seek rewards in many other ways in my life, however I am disclosing the pattern of attaching a negative value to rewards based on memories.

 

So, when my father was extending the hand with money as a reward for me being a good student, I would literally place my hands back and it’s like when you are a kid and you want something but at the same time you don’t. The reasons were because I grew up with this sense of Lacking money all the time, always wanting to use the least, to not use up much of our supplies, to be a ‘saver’ of everything and all of this was out of fear of making my father spend too much money on me. I have walked this in a mind construct specifically related toward my father whom I could equate to my relationship with money – from understanding money, how money works, how money flowed in the house, and me forming this constrained idea of ‘we don’t have much money, I should not ask for more, I conform with what I have, wanting more is greed and making my father spend on me is selfish.’ 

 

This I learned through observation, through hearing conversations, through ‘picking up’ my father’s experience when handing money toward my mother to buy food/ the necessary to eat/ house supplies etc. – the same when I required money for books, some school thing and how I would worry to even say the price of it, which lead me to this belief that ‘money is something precious and I am not that worthy to have this money be spent on me’– and I must say that my mother would let me know how I should not worry about this, however I was very tough-headed and stubborn when it came to me believing that we were really in financial strain most of the time and that I should behave with my ‘desires’ – even though it was quite a futile inner conflict, because I would end up getting stuff that I wanted anyways. This is how I can see that I created my own mindfuck just to create a personality of ‘the considerate one that doesn’t want to make my father spend more money than he already does on my education/ food/ sustenance’  – ‘the one’ because I have two more sisters and I mostly would judge the fact that they would spend more money than I did, and as such created my own ego/superiority out of being the ‘noble one’ that ‘refuses rewards’ while they would say ‘hey, if you don’t want it, I do!’  – which would piss me off even more because they were supposed to be considerate and as such, I linked my ‘triumphs’ in school with rejecting all the rewards for the awards, like having the ‘luxury’ to refuse what others would actually want – quite a character as you can see, it’s a double positive construct that implies certain aspects at the ‘world system’ level and at individual level:

 

1. Not everyone can be equally rewarded in this system. In the example I’m walking here, not everyone was able to have a 1st place in class and as such, the ‘throne of honor’ could only be for 1.  I had once a friend telling me: hey, give me your notes (paper with all grades) and I’ll falsify them, show it to my parents so they can buy me all that I want. Which seemed utterly ‘wrong’ to me at that moment and within that begun valuing my ‘self worth’ only as ‘grades’ within school, which lead me to feel that ‘void’ that I have described many other times in relation to seeking to value myself beyond intelligence/ grades/ school etc. – all this consciousness character of knowledge and information that served for one single purpose: to stand as one extreme of a polarity construct of winning and losing which creates this sense of specialness and superiority while others have to end up on the polarity opposite, which I would then also ‘feel bad’ about.

 

2. Getting the positive kick out of ‘rejecting rewards’ and building an ego out of ‘I don’t require rewards to move, I do it for myself’ which was Only to a certain extent also, I mean I got really bothered then when my parents thought it was all because of them but I also did it to keep this self-belief toward others as always having everything right/ doing everything to the T. No flaws – and getting rewards for that, quite bizarre.

  • It is just like in our current celebrity system, wherein people that already have Loads of money get all the stuff for free, because of sponsoring some brand and name that will in return give money-rewards for the person that gifts them the reward of, for example, not having to pay for expensive clothes and items that they can just ‘wear around’ and create a big hype in it. They are not for ‘free’ they are just exhibition items that will in turn give lots of profit for the small cost of giving some gifts. Money calls more money as a blatant capitalist saying goes.

 

4. ‘Winning’ or being recognized for an ‘effort’ or ‘service’ or ‘achievement’ is truly only an acquired value system that is supposed to act as a motivation factor for people to excel, to be better, to be the employee of the month and so forth and don’t get me wrong, it’s cool that we push ourselves to be self responsible, however it should Not exist as part of this recognition/ laureate construct for doing something that should be as natural as drinking water, cooking our food, going to do your work and responsibilities = it is part of what Living is. Within this

  • We got the competition for the rewards and the multiple dimensions of hostility, vengeance, envy, jealousy that stem from everyone fighting to get the great carrot on the stick

 

Thus, how come we’ve gotten ourselves to this point? Yep, Greed, superiority and specialness are aspects that are highly desired within a human being’s experience at a mind level. We have all played a role in it of course and in my case if we take this example: representing the ‘highest score’ represented the ‘greatest reward’ and within this, one’s actual dedication and work is reduced to getting money to buy things that we believe will make us ‘happy’ and ‘content’ for a while without realizing that all our school years and all our lives we are trained to earn these rewards in the form of Money – for what? To buy our life, and continue seeking to get ‘more’ so that we can continue giving ourselves our own rewards that we become so used to, and we justify with the ever-present statement of ‘I worked for it, I earned it’ and in this, we lose complete focus or even insight on how everything that we buy is created, why have we placed certain values upon physical objects as ‘more’ than others to create these ‘precious items’ that only Some can afford or receive as gifts…

Smell the money-god here?

 

Spot the nonsense?

 

Will continue dissecting my polarity-construct with regards to ‘loathing rewards’ and the ambivalent self experience I’d create whenever Anyone would offer some rewards, which determined my relationship toward money that I am obviously only scraping the top off.

Leave you with the key aspect that enabled me to see this:

 

“Your physical labour life force – is for most part, Not Valued AT ALL; humans actually doing physical labour are valued Next-to-Nothing, while human beings doing Mental Labour – are Valued More: here, the REALITY, physicality is valued not at all, while the Mental/Illusion is valued most. So, Physical Force is denied, while Mental Force is Exalted. Which is Exactly what we do in/as our own Minds: Our Imagination/Illusion is Valued Most and so we give/pay MORE of our beingness/physicality to/as it, or shall we say Sacrifice More of our beingness/physicality to/as it. Instead of Investing our Beingness/Awareness into and as Physical Equal and One LIVING – which is not a process of a Payment, it’s a Stand of Realisation and of LIVING. This is Why we don’t LIVE in this physical existence, everything had been Valued according to more/less Reward for which you must PAY with PAY in fact being a SACRIFICE.” – Sunette Spies*

 

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Blogs:

 

Interviews:


272. Venerating The Money-God

 

Continuing from: 271. Sacred Art: the Key to Understanding Reality

Also Read: 203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell

 

So, we find that the representations used to venerate gods/ the divine were meant to ‘educate’/imprint/reinforce within human beings this sense of being lost and seeking to be ‘found’ and ‘happy again.’ You are born sin, some guy died because of your sins, you have to punch your chest recognizing that it’s been ‘my fault, my fault, my great fault’ and then pray to some god, angels, archangels and saints to save us from ‘falling’ into the pits of our temptations, which is everything that has been tainted with being bad, wrong, spoiled, which also includes that which generates Life on Earth, such as sex and sexuality, such profanity from ourselves yet we never questioned this and as such, morality was born.

 

If we have a look at what sacred art represents is quite a form of ultimate abuse and control which is using the Earth’s materials to be worked by and through one human being to create a final product that will serve for purposes of enslavement. I cannot see a difference between this same process and virtually all that we have constructed/ built in our society that is currently serving No purpose other than continuing the mystification of the human race within these ‘godly’ self-beliefs of evolution/progress/betterment and investing in such ‘godly tasks’ while there’s still people dying from preventive diseases, starving to death and having no proper education given in equality in order to be able to ‘equally make it’ in this holy-crusade that we’ve called Life. That’s our god of progress, yet we’re all quite happy with the way it turned out ‘for us’ because we have had no idea of what it is to really be ‘forgotten’ in this world system.

 

In terms of this sacred art, it is no different to the images/pictures/sounds used for massive purposes of propaganda through the best PR campaigns to direct the population to buy/consume something and as such, keep the entire system in place. Back then there was no media or radio or anything like ‘mass media’ that exists now- yet, there were churches and people that spent their lifetimes ‘converting’ people, which here in Mexico it meant stopping venerating several gods of natural forces and start believing in Jesus, the bible, the saints and seeking to be ‘benevolent’ at all cost. So it meant a shift from a functional form of enslavement to these natural-forces as gods to a monotheism that became the most profound form of indoctrination in our culture: you are only a servant to god, you are a sinner, you deserve nothing, you must suffer to reach any godhood. And for that, you have to now ‘Elevate’ yourself through believing in god, going to church, giving your money to the church, feeling constantly guilty for your sins, feeling like you always NEED to feel good, to be ‘closer to god’ and do whatever it takes to make a higher score in your reputation with god as this ‘omnipresent’ authority-figure that we all learned to fear.

 

What’s more fascinating is that this is precisely how the Quantum Mind operates: everything that was created as a constant form of secret mind is all the negative, bad, evil, dark, nasty and the usual catholic indoctrination means that one has to ‘feel bad’ about that, feel guilty, you are a nasty piece of flesh if you dare to go without confessing your dark deeds to another man that was supposed to absolve you from your sins in god’s name. Well, what happens at a quantum mind level is that we would thus only seek to be ‘Positive’ all the time and experience the ‘glory of god’ in our earthly lives, which means: hide everything that seems negative, seek the light! seek the positive! without Ever having understood what the hell does ‘being positive’ in fact meat, which is certainly Not an actual best for all state of being for ourselves as our physical body and establishing proper relationships with ourselves and each other – but instead it meant the Most Energy for the Mind/ Consciousness, which implies that we have only really been venerating one real god: energy/ consciousness, wherein we have believed that all the love, light, peace and joy are ‘natural’ experiences and our ‘utmost desire’ to fulfill on Earth – but, again, who taught us that such ‘well being’ is an energetic flickering experience that we have to Buy/ Consume and attain Happiness/Joy/Bliss no matter what – why do we have to BUY our happiness and well being?

All of this exists in a massive ignorance toward how the mind operates that, as we have explained before, to generate any sense of ‘positive experience’ it has to consume the flesh/physicality in order to transform it into energy that we then call ‘positive experiences’ – For this please educate yourself with the following interview:

Quantum Mind Self Awareness – STEP 26

 

The religious construct implies: you are separated from god – But what is ‘god’ anyways? Well, if we can give god a proper signifier it is the physical, life in itself as a whole – thus, one of the ways in which we have separated ourselves from our own piece of god as the physical body that we are is through the Mind, because the mind is a system that can only exist if enough energy as the result of a relationship of friction and conflict within ourselves is generated in order to create these either positive or negative experiences that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as ‘who we are’ as ‘our personality’ as our ‘identity.’  So all of these suffering images were meant to remind us all the time: suffer, be sad, repent! you are born in sin, you are flawed, you are not worthy unless you climb the ladder of success to get to god/the most money in the world and as such, you’ll be holy and deserving the heavens. But, no one explained how such ‘glory’ as the heavens/ the most money in the world was created: both systems implied the resourcing of the physicality transformed into energy to power up the ‘Heaven’ existence – that is no longer existent and for that read the Desteni Materialand the Money System as well wherein those at the ‘top of the pyramid’ and even in a figurative way ‘closer to god/ the heavens/ above the Earth’ are able to be in such positions due to the abuse that is imposed onto the rest/ base of the pyramid in order to make More than others and claim divinity and having a ‘fortunate position’ while deliberately neglecting how those below are actually ‘living’ and how they have been the forgotten ones by some god to have equal-support and opportunity as those that get to be at the very top.

 

Now, when looking at sacred art which was mostly made for and in the houses of the elites and the ecclesiastic circles/ churches, one gets to see this imposition of ‘divinity’ and ‘power’ through majestic constructions with lots of gold and magnificent paintings that are revered till this day. For that, you can hear  The Soul of Money – Part 26 for further context of how this operates.

It is quite an abuse to use actual creative forces to forge, sculpt, paint and manifest some of the most atrocious artifacts with which billions have been enslaved to through such items/products becoming a representation of the belief systems we have all followed – there’s still billions venerating images, crucifixes and all forms of relics associated with some form of ‘divine symbols’ that one is then protected by, or given ‘good omens’ with or signifying some form of specialness – all kinds of delirium that is able to be created/ constructed in order to maintain this hierarchical separation from ourselves as god/ life existent equal and one in everything and everyone.

 

I see this is why a movie like Stigmata became such a fascination to me because the message was clear with the Gospel of Thomas there “Jesus said… the Kingdom of God is inside you, and all around you, not in mansions of wood and stone. Split a piece of wood… and I am there, lift a stone… and you will find me.” However, as explained yesterday, Jesus was not god, Jesus simply saw within himself and everyone else that sameness as Life, hence such Equality could be found Everywhere and as such, this statement would debunk the entire institutionalization of god made religion, made ‘followers’ and a set of dogmas that one would have to somehow be controlled by, which is the entire plot of  Stigmata where the Vatican is presented as keeping all of these secrets in order to not lose control of the faithfully deceived.

 

If we see a parallel within the Money System currently, the same process is going on: one is not supposed to question the existence of Money – how it is created, who decides what is worth what amount of money, what are the laws that decide and govern how money moves in this physical reality, and the ‘representatives of god’ as money in this reality are the bankers and governmental institutions that have the ‘divine power’ to create money out of thin air and decide to do whatever will benefit them the most with it. We’re then left with a few economists – a parallel to the theologians  – that are supposed to ‘make sense’ of the economy only, and I say theologians and economists are similar because none of them have any actual ‘say’ to change how the power is forged/constituted/configured within this reality, one can only ‘study it’ within its defined/given context and that’s it, hence no change has emerged in this reality. To read more about how this is in the process of being changed to an actual revolution, read an Economist’s Journey To Life.

 

It is still fascinating to me to see people appeasing and kneeling at the sight of these artifacts, crying in front of these clay representations of virgins, saints and any other ‘doll-like’ figure that could represent that character from that passage that they thought was ‘divine’ in nature – and that certainly always lead to seeking this ‘divinity’ within ourselves, learned to curse and deny and conceal all the negative and as such, keep walking to ‘create’ the kingdom of God/Money the ‘Positive’ in this world. One can thus see how this has become the foundation of our current ‘civilization’ : see pretty pictures, attach some ‘great value’ to that which entails great abuse, extrapolate the Value of Life as Equals and create a hierarchical system wherein one has to accept great suffering to get to god. Sounds familiar? Yes, life is a struggle and you’ll have to endure sweat, blood and tears to ‘make it’ in this life. These are the laws of our current hierarchical system of abuse as well as the religious precepts that we have blindly followed– and this has become the foundation to the vast majority of a nation blinded by religion and still believing that through prayer this world will get better and they will get what they require to live, which is money.

Is ‘God/ Religion/ Money’ to blame then? Not at all, it has always been ourselves that created such entities, it has only been ourselves that followed through with such forms of separation while being embodying the answer to all life: the physical, life in equality. This is thus not a point to condemn but mostly a point to expose in order to see what type of religious-systems we’re still following and Money as the current construct it exists as is certainly no different to any form of religion that we believe is what’s best for all, while it has always proven to Not be so as this world and our entire history of ‘venerating gods’ have demonstrated already.

How long will we continue to value metals, paper, wood, oils, stones shaped into the form of gods/money more than life itself? how long will we continue to be controlled by these symbols and totems that can only signify a point of separation and abuse toward each other?

Investigate the Equal Money System where all false gods will cease to exist and Life will be recognized as who we are in Equality: giving and receiving what we require to live and never again reduce ourselves to being servants of abuse.

 

 

“Everything Works-together like a Conspiracy of Synchronicities. Constantly Sending the Message: “Obey – you are Imperfect”, “You’re Born in Sin”, “You’re Not Good Enough”, “the World can’t Change”, “Accept what is Here” – and then, you are Given an ‘Answer’, an Illusion as Consciousness as Religion, as Spirituality, through which you can Escape, Waiting for Death as the ‘Great Escape’ to go to ‘Another World’, apparently, to a ‘Better Life’, apparently, which obviously, if you Study the Law of Physics: Is Impossible. There Is Only That which you Are and Allow – Even Beyond this, because: ‘Magically’, your State of Energy don’t Change, ‘Magically’ your State of Being don’t Change, it is What it is Now and what you Accept Now; and if you Do Not Understand the Most Basic Principles of What makes it Possible for you to be Consciousness, to have a Thought, to have a Feeling, to have Emotion: If you don’t Understand That even – How could you Ever be Free?” – Bernard Poolman*

 

Further Support:

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:


267. The Greatest Addiction Ever: The Mind

 

“Energy is a by-product of life, it is not alive – we became addicted to our creation as energy and in this way we abdicated life ending up as just the light produced by energy – like a shadow of what we really are. At Desteni I Process this self deception is corrected through a self help process. Do it – before the lights go out for the final time.” – Bernard Poolman

 

Here I share some feedback in relation to my own process and how I have walked this point so far. Since I began my process of Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty through writing, developing Common Sense and essentially taking the decision to support myself to actually Live for the very first time, I have dedicated myself to work with every single point that has occupied my mind in quite an astounding manner. I mean, this goes from memories, pictures, sounds, wants, needs, desires.. the way I can describe it is like when you are constantly hungry and no matter how much you eat, you are always wanting ‘something more,’ that’s how I have seen the parasitical nature that the mind exists as.  As Humans we have never learned ‘what to do’ with these experiences, we only learn/ are told to ‘cope with them’ or seek the opposite experience in order to be ‘happy/ well/ good’ again – this is quite a problem and a general result of the ignorance we had toward the actual functioning of the mind and its grip on the physical body, wherein no matter How  you define experiences to be as either ‘positive or negative,’ energy is energy and the effects on the physical body that is consumed in order to power up this mind-system does not care how you define such experiences as long as one Remains in such constant self-experiences.

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

Throughout these blogs we have also realized that there is more to addictions than just getting a positive experience due to the inherent instability that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as from the moment that we allow the integration of the mind as ‘who we are’ and start defining our beingness according to mood, ‘states of being,’ emotions, feelings and allow the thoughts to direct who we are.

 

I was talking to my mother this morning and explained how this process has been for me like placing myself into rehab and going through actual withdrawal symptoms that are in fact experienced at a physical level the moment that we no longer feed our usual ‘inner turmoil’ that would ensure we remain locked within predefined patterns of existence that we had believed were ‘unchangeable,’ unable to let go of, unable to correct, unable to stop. This Process in essence means the most intensive mind-rehab program you’ll ever walk, because it is not only about stopping participation in your regular drug-addictions or self destructive behaviors, but it is in fact placing ourselves in a total rehabilitation program to finally align the absolute nature of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind.

 

Okay, but What or who am I as the mind? – you might wonder  – well, it is in essence every single self-definition that we have participated in that gives us either a negative experience or a positive experience as emotions and feelings respectively – every single memory, thought, physical movement, experiences as feelings, emotions, sounds, words that defines ‘who we are,’ what we like, what is ‘in character’ and what is ‘out of character,’ it is everything that we have accepted as our ‘true nature’ that is constantly wanting, needing, desiring, hoping, yearning, dreaming, seeking to escape from itself, seeking to get more, be greater, faster, be ‘whole and complete’ and all of this obtained through doing/ consuming anything or anyone that we can get an experience from.

 

“I commit myself to show that the MIND has NO Power and that MIND Power only developed as another CONSUMER PRODUCT where the Human feeds off the Program of Self-Interest without ANY AWARENESS that Life as the LIVING FLESH is being Abused just for Producing Feelings that act like a DRUG to which the Personality and the Flesh is ADDICTED.”  – Bernard Poolman

 

When one deliberately stops this point of ‘getting an experience in life,’ one becomes essentially more stable, there is no longer this constant ‘hunger’ for more, there is no constant inadequacy experienced, there is no longer this constant self-loathing/ hatred toward oneself and the world which leads to a constant desire to just ‘make it all stop,’ there is no longer the being uncomfortable in one’s own skin, there is no longer the constant judgmental thinking toward everything and everyone outside of ourselves – which by the way, it’s never about ‘them’ but always about ourselves –  there is no feeling of being ‘less’ become you expect to become more and more each day – but at the same time it is not a blissful experience either, as that would be self deception again: using our physical body to get a Mind-experience of apparent ‘well-being’ which cannot be defined as an energetic high, but must be rather considered as a constant stability that must be granted from one to another as an equality system wherein we can all get the necessary support to Live and genuinely enjoy life.

 

As one goes stopping the constant gnawing regular thoughts, what comes up is the ingrained physical patterns that represent the actual nature of ourselves – meaning, once we stop victimizing ourselves in our constant complains, judgments, self pity, self loathing thinking, what emerges is becoming more aware of the actual factors that make us decide ‘who we are’ and why we do what we do and what governs our every single move – this is where I see that Self Will is of utmost importance, to actually let go of wanting to ‘dive into’ the mind and any form of energetic experience and instead, will oneself to act/do/be and become a stable breathing living being that does not require to think, get emotional or experience feelings to live, but simply Is and exists here as the physical body.

 

Being in the physical: this is an important consideration for anyone that is willing to work and walk through any form of addiction, doesn’t necessarily have to be giving up drugs or alcohol or any other chemical stimulant, but also the addiction to our personality, our habits, our manias that We Already Know are Not Self Supportive, but keep on doing it just because ‘that’s all we know ourselves to be capable and able of being/ doing’/ ‘we don’t know anything better,’ which is the most common form of self mind-control that we have realized exists within each one of us: we fear giving up our self religion/ personality/ ego/ mind even if we are aware that it has never supported ourselves to actually Live.

 

I could write about how there is a definitive grounding experience that one is able to become and integrate as oneself when an actual dedication to this process, to get to know ourselves as our minds and living/applying the corrective process is self-directed in every moment – however I would mostly suggest you take this opportunity and suggestion to do this for yourself. The addictions/ cravings have mostly been reduced to physical movements that indicate a form of suppression that I am trying to ‘cope with’ and it becomes so in my face that pushing it aside only compounds it until I have to sit down and write the hell out of it.  So what I have also realized is how I obviously have used anything, any activity to not face the actual ‘problem’ which is mostly having to do with something wherein I am not directing myself effectively. One can only continue fooling oneself for so long, and once self honesty is being integrated as the main platform in which we decide to run ourselves on, it becomes quite unbearable to keep up with lies/ self deception, the shit eventually catches up on you – so to speak.

 

What is an addiction but a desire to live a lie, a temporary fix to escape the made-up self-belief of who we are as the mind, because I am here to say that the physical body is Not the one seeking to ‘get a high,’ it is only the mind that does and who we have become as an integral compound of the body and mind, the mind has run its course on the physical and this is why we are on so many drugs and self-destructive behaviors, because we are Not considering the physical body at all.

 

It is much easier to breathe and be here, stable and constant instead of continuing endless battles within ourselves toward the invisible forces that we have accepted as ‘who we are.’ I mean, we are talking about the addiction toward the mind, and how that is and will be the most ingrained addiction Every single human being has participated in, we cannot judge or claim that drug-addicts only exist in shooting up crack and heroin or smoking weed and taking prescription pills – the moment we accepted and allowed our well-being and stability to be defined through a positive experience, such as love, vitality, a sense of bliss, belonging and any other self-experience that we believe is ‘who we are,’ we agreed to separate ourselves from the constancy and consistency of who we are as the physical, breath, here, stable and give the wheel of our lives to the mind that runs on preprogrammed patterns of energy that will generate any form of mind-activity as a way to engage ourselves into thinking, feeling, becoming emotional and give our focus, attention to such mind-activity without realizing we are in such moments already feeding the addiction to the mind.

 

There is no need for the mind to do what should be actual vital functions as they currently exist in this world: breathing, eating, directing yourself in your regular responsibilities to make money to live in this world, relating yourself to all other living beings and dedicating oneself to become part of the examples that demonstrate that it IS possible to stop being directed by a mind that constantly seeks experiences and it IS possible to become a more stable, self directive, grounded, common sensical and in the process of becoming self honest human being. This is the most difficult task ever, I agree, because we have become so addicted to thinking, feeling, seeking for emotions, conflict, turmoil, defining everything we do and have become according to emotions and feelings to such an extent that we believe that: not participating in our mind is equal to being Dead/ Inert, lifeless – that’s a BIG misconception that must be debunked here if one is willing to walk this process wherein you will certainly not get any energetic churnings, on the contrary, I can say that such stability is we all have been seeking/ looking for and it only takes a sound and constant every moment decision to Not Give Into the constant ‘high’ that disables us from seeing who we have become in this constant seeking/ wanting/ needing/ desiring of who we have become as the mind.

 

I can remember when I was a child and I would get too much sugar with chocolates at times, and I would be like a rat in an enclosed space, literally walking around the kitchen table endless times and driving myself to believing that I was ‘going crazy’ when in fact it was me beginning to define such experiences as ‘who I am’ as this ‘uncontrollable rush’ induced through sugar in this case, and accept it as ‘normal’ because that’s what everybody else does, apparently.

Later on, I began participating in a constant self experience of anxiety, worry, concern, nervousness, inadequacy, feeling like I just want to ‘shut myself up’ due to the anxiety and exaltation that I copied/integrated from my environment – what did I seek for later on in life? Yes, getting out of myself and my mind, smoking weed is one single example as the outcome of that, without understanding that my ‘seeking’ for a way to relax has always been here as myself, breathing – no need for any drug to do that, and this is one key aspect in our society that runs on stress and self abuse.  According to what I wrote yesterday, we can see how stressful parents would imprint this same stress on their children, which is why later on children would seek drugs to generate the sense of ‘stress control’ and ‘impulse control’ which is what I can spot was my case, since I accepted and allowed myself to adopt a nervous/ anxious/ stressful manner of being, linked to patterns of desiring to be in absolute control and perfectionism adopted from parental patterns, which is also what we are understanding in relation to the influence of parents on children on the first seven years of age – I specifically recommend listening to Reptilians – The Reptilian’s Master Mind behind Memory Control (Part 1) – Part 117 to get a clear perspective on this.

 

Now there are multiple factors that lead to addictions and I’ll continue to walk them in order for us to be able to see and spot where and how we are accepting and allowing ourselves to be influenced/ directed by such factors without giving it a proper self-aware direction to ensure we are not continuing a point of abuse. Again, this is not only in relation to drugs, drugs are only the externalization and most common way to live out this constant desire to get a ‘fix’ – but we can become addicted to anything or anyone and that includes our own thoughts, without having ever been aware of WHAT is it that Powers such thoughts, which is what must be broadly understood and known: it is the physical substance, the tissue/ the fabric of the physical body that which powers up the mind, and that is the basic form of self-abuse that all of us human beings are subject to, and this is why it is so important to become aware of these ‘forces’ in order to become self directive as them, because they are who we have become, we gave them lodging and constant nurturing, the mind is our creation and who we have become as such creation can also be remodeled/ re-sculpted by ourselves and the extent of such remodeling depends on our dedication to actually will ourselves to live without the mind as our boss and decision-maker and instead install ourselves as the directive principle that considers what’s best for ourselves as all and live the principle of life in Equality.

 

The tools that I am assisting and supporting myself with are walked within the Desteni I Process , the Desteni Material, all the blogs and vlogs that all of us walking this process share at our current Journey to Life self-writing process, the Desteni Forum where interaction takes place with regards to How to walk this process or particular points one is working with in our writings, there’s also all the various groups at Facebook such as Capitalism vs. Equal Money wherein we get to know how it is that his humind-nature is affecting our reality at a world-system level and as such, become aware of our responsibility we hold individually to ensure that we all become aware of what we are collectively generating due to deciding to only ‘live’ through the mind, instead of practically considering the actual corrective processes and solutions that must be implemented and walked within the consideration of ourselves being the creators of the mess we try and ‘escape from’ through drugs/ habits/ and any other mind-experience – see the conundrum?

This is the actual mind control that we all exist as and we are here to ensure that humanity is aware of the practical self-applicable solutions that we are being the proof of, Do work when one commits oneself to no longer feed the mind but begin learning how to honor ourselves as physical living beings.  It is the most important process you’ll ever commit yourself to, it is the self-relationship that we have never established and it is here, the moment where we have all the support necessary to do so, to walk this process and ensure that no form of self abuse remains standing in this world.

Study the principles of Self-Creation and Self-Equality and Oneness within every single investigation published at Eqafe, as well as the blogs that are daily published here such as Creation’s Journey to Life, Heaven’s Journey to Life and an Economist’s Journey to Life.

 

“Actual Prosperity is where Every Living Being in this World Prosper and Live to their Full Potential. Full Potential Being: Living in an Environment that Support All Life Equally, that Ensures Happiness, that Prevents Fear and Addiction to the Mind, that Ensures that Each Child Born Understand EXACTLY where every Thought come from so that they can Prevent Mind Control and Abuse from all kinds of Faith-based Ideologies – whether it be Religious, Political, Educational, Psychological, Economical. Whenever Faith Exist: the Ideology will Promote Ideals of Inequality, because – What’s Best for All do Not Exist in Faith, it Exist as the Action each one Must Take to Ensure that there is Never Anything Unknown that could Cause harm to Another and All basic Essentials must be Available as a basic Human Right.
The Very Moment you have Basic Essentials and Claim that Others can’t have it, because it is the Will of some ‘Greater Power’ – you are
Abusing your Greater Power which is based in Money, Wealth and Greed.” – Bernard Poolman*

 

This will continue

 

Blogs:

 

 

Interviews:


263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the thoughts of me being inherently flawed and incomplete and unfulfilled is in fact who I really am, and within this, seeking for a remedy and solution outside of myself through drugs, spirituality, money, sex, entertainment, sports, media and everything that I have participated in in order to not have to investigate How I have created such self-experience through my own participation in my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it difficult to wake up every morning and start a new day, because I have allowed myself to Think as the memory that I have been and become, instead of breathing and being as unconditional as the physical body that I am that does not take a moment to ‘think’ about its existence, but is unconditional in self movement – I realize that I have allowed myself to be tormented by my own self-belief of there being something ‘wrong’ with me and starting thinking that this life is ‘not worth living/ I am not worth living’ and within such thinking processes, I lead myself to seek for a quick fix that will alleviate this inherent self-loathing, self deprecation that leads to self destruction that is sought through anything that can give me a sense of pleasure and enjoyment, even if it is for a moment – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resort to drugs and any other activity that I have turned into a habit as a way to avoid seeing myself as my own mind, which is the actual origin of this instability and dissatisfaction that I experience myself as and that I try to escape from, without realizing that I cannot escape from myself through using drugs or any other means to avoid looking at my self responsibility within creating such self-loathing thinking, and instead I see that I must investigate my own thinking, my own feelings and emotions as the origin and source of this dread that I experience as ‘my life.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention, my focus and produce energy to all thoughts linked to a dissatisfaction with life, believing that I can’t go on anymore/ this is just too much/ what’s the point in living? – and within these thoughts allowed myself to go seeking for a way out through drugs, spirituality, sex, consumerism and anything that I have linked to a positive experience in life, without realizing that such habits are only ways to further separate myself from looking at myself as the origin and cause of such instability at a mind level.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to really look within myself how is it that I can change my way of being from one moment to another based on the stimuli that I get from the outside world, and within this, not realizing that if I can change myself in one single moment to experience myself in either a positive or a negative experience, this must mean that these aberrant thoughts of self-deprecation and unfulfillment are equally stoppable and preventable, as I realize that it is only through my own participation that I have given attention to become them, embody such instability through fueling such thoughts as who I am, instead of for a moment breathing and stopping to see What am I actually giving my attention to? What am I actually feeding here? Is this really who I want to direct myself to be thinking as? And within this, assist and support me to stand outside the usual self-deprecation that I have experienced as ‘my life’ and ‘who I am,’ which I understand is able to be stopped, self forgiven and corrected as I realize that who I am as a physical being does not exist as self-destructive thoughts, but it is only me as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that I have given my breaths away to these experiences, without having any idea of how my mind operates in my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about my experience at a mind level through thoughts, emotions and feelings, instead of using my mind to instead place my attention and focus on the physical reality that I embody as  my physical body, and within this observe the common sense of what unconditional living is: unconditional movement to function properly as a living-system that maintains the actual life that we are as living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of looking back at my own thoughts and understand ‘who I am’ and have become through understanding my thoughts and creating a point of self-correction as my mind/ as my thoughts, I have tried to quiet my mind/ stop thinking through using drugs, sex, alcohol, media, books, entertainment, friends, any and all things and people that I have in fact used and abused in order to ‘get lost’ within myself, without realizing that in this condition, I am not only abusing others but myself as my physical body because I had not seen, realized and understood how it is that the mind can only function through consuming the physical substance of our physical body, which means that every time that we think, become emotional or participate in positive feelings, I am in fact not living but only fueling a system within and as myself as the mind that I have not yet aligned myself to in order to be the directive principle of what I decide to participate in, realizing that the actual expression of myself has never existed and that all that I have been is a mind consciousness system of patterns that I have believed is ‘who I am’ and are immovable, unchangeable – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within these thoughts of giving up my ability to change, I have resorted to mitigate the problem and try and hide from my own mind through using drugs, alcohol, sex, any form of entertainment that instead of it being a self directive decision to entertain myself, experience sex and a genuine self-expression as a physical being in this world, I have made of everything just a drug that I can hook myself to in order to ‘cope with reality,’ instead of realizing how coping with reality is a sign of me not looking at myself as the origin and cause of such problem and distress in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within this inherent instability as the mind, we have equally created a world that is equally unstable due to us never having had the considering toward Life as who we are – and in this, becoming actual zombies that accept things ‘as they are’ without  a question, seeking for a meaning and purpose in life outside of yourself, instead of actually understanding the responsibility that we hold toward ourselves as our physical body, our mind, every single thought, every single emotion, every single feeling – there is nothing and no one to blame for how this world has turned out to be this way, it is our collective participation and within that,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ‘state of the world’ as it being ‘fucked up’ and use this excuse to numb myself from myself and separate myself from being self-aware through using drugs, medication, sex, alcohol, entertainment and my own mind of imagination, feelings, emotions that I have believed is in fact who I am – without realizing that in this attempt to ‘escape’ from this ‘fucked up world,’ I am becoming an equal co-creator of ubiquitous negligence that we have participated in within our reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a meaning to life through using relationships, drugs, entertainment and my own mind to separate myself from the reality that I have inf act allowed myself to participate in without being aware of what my relationship to everyone and everything in fact is, and how with me wanting to ‘escape from reality’ and take drugs to solve the problem, I am in fact only adding up to the social problem we’re living in, wherein life has never been lived but only abused and as such, I realize that through my self-abuse I never contributed to any living expression thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about reality, complain about the system, complain about nothing in this world working outside of myself, but never pondering how it is that I am contributing through my own thoughts and emotions for it to not work work/ function properly, which is the key factor that I realize will enable me to realize one thing: If I am in fact willing to assist and support myself and stand as a sound being that can take my life in my hands and will myself to live, I can in fact do so, I can dedicate my life to get to know me, how I created this flawed self experience and such, take my life on my hands and walk a process of self-correction through Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty, Self Corrective Application wherein I can in fact become a self-responsible being that stops seeking for a remedy, a solution, a way Out of myself, as I see and realize that using drugs or any other means of escaping from myself only aggravates my self-experience and can lead to an inevitable premature death – because death is certain anyways for all beings – however, I would have to ask myself: am I ready to die and have the certainty that I have done everything that is available in my reality to support myself?

 

I realize that nothing and no one will change me, nothing and no one will provide a solution other than the one that I direct myself to live – and this is how through my own words, through the very same tools I have used to define myself as thoughts, feelings and emotions, I can become a self directive being that understands how it s that I am perfectly able to stop participation in all thoughts that I see are not self supportive, stop participation in all emotions that I realize lead me nowhere but further down the rabbit hole and also stop seeking the opposite positive experience, as I realize that happiness is a mental place that is not sustainable as a living-actuality of who I am as the physical body.

 

I realize that self-stability is able to be lived as a will and decision to support myself to be and become this physical stability, equal to the one we are breathing in every single moment that we are here on this Earth. It will take time – yes – but the decision is able to be made and lived in every momenta s a constant decision of who I will myself to be.

 

I realize that  I have spent a lot of time entertaining myself with my thoughts that I got lost within it all and as such, I have to deliberately direct myself to stop any craving for a positive experience or negative experience that I have become so used to in my mind, take my life on my hands, and begin footing myself as breath in every moment, writing myself out to see who I am in one day as my mind , as I realize that every solution I thought was  adequate to myself as my mind has only become more consequential without an actual solution but further dependencies on people, places, drugs, substances in order to get a temporary high, which is unsustainable and will only lead me to self destruction.

 

I realize that I don’t require to buy, consume or seek for remedies outside of myself, nor do I requite to seek for a meaning or purpose to life outside of myself as an energetic experience, but that I am already here, complete and whole as myself and that any perceived problem is only existent at the level of my own mind that is in fact the nature that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and proven to be consequential and conflictive to myself, it does not support myself as life nor does it support any other living being –

 

I commit myself to live the realization that it is common sense to assist and support myself to decide to walk a process to support myself to Live and as such, to become a living example of what it is possible to be and become when existing as breathing, living earthlings that start looking outside of our tunnel vision of self deprecation and start considering the life that we have blinded ourselves from through our own participation in the mind, instead of being here as the physical. 

 

I commit myself to develop self worth, self respect and integrity as a human being that is no longer willing to support any form of self abuse which is stopping participation in all thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have become as our mind, and in fact be willing to give myself another opportunity to live and become the expression of life that I always wanted to be and become, which I realize can only be real if every single being is equally supported to live in dignity and care for one another.

 

I realize that the physical support I am able to give to myself is existent here as myself, as the physical body that I commit myself to feed properly, to exercise, to breathe and become aware of every breath which is a constant self-directive attention that I commit to give to myself, as I have seen, realized and understood how it is in fact possible to stop the parasitical ego from becoming an unfulfilled leech that I am always feeding through my participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings that I am in fact able to stop.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the political and economical system that will ensure that no more beings seek a way out of the world, our minds, our own self-experience because of not having a proper education, living support as food, water, shelter, comfort and a living right to express and enjoy what is here within the basic foundation of supporting ourselves as equals/ in equality, to live, to be self directive and honor ourselves as the life that we have embodied  and never again neglect life as we have done thus far.

 

“There is One Way Out, which is Death. Or there is Another Way out, which is Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty. One of the Two are your Future.

The One Allows you the Gift of Life, as Part of this Physical World. The Other means: you have to Start All Over again, because you didn’t have Enough Integrity and Willpower to Care about Life, and your Self-Interest Won the Day.
WHO will you Be? Your Imagination? Or Real?
You Decide…for as long as you can. But, the Line is Drawn. And, if you Fail at this – you Will be withdrawn from Earth.” –Bernard Poolman 

 

Choose Life

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241. The EndGame Show: 2012

I watched Derren Brown’s The Gameshow episode which is a brilliant piece of what popular TV should become: a blatantly blunt and absolutely irrevocable proof of what we have become as humanity: full blown evil egos that have absolutely no regard toward the life of fellow living beings and dare to rejoice making a mockery out of another’s unfortunate lives that are being directed by the observers themselves.

I had to breathe in order to not participate further in further thoughts and outspoken backchat after one witness the whole thing and for a moment find yourself laughing along to what we have defined as entertaining and funny. This certainly made me realize to what extent we have brainwashed ourselves to have the most twisted sense of humor labeled as ‘normal’ to laugh upon actual evil lived out in the life of a human being that’s being secretly filmed for the de-light of everyone, even if it is entertainment gone educational, still running a show within the whole scheme of how it all functions through/ by money itself.

 

The game depicts the two options we hold in this world while living and interacting with everything and everyone here, as simple and direct as a yes and a no: to do what’s best for all/ doing onto another what you would want others to do onto you/ giving and receiving in equality/ loving thy neighbor as thyself OR essentially ‘consciously’ deciding to make another’s life their worst fucking nightmare and hell through your own direct ‘democratic vote’ to do so.

 

When the audience in this fake ‘game show’ are endowed with the godly-ability to direct what happens to a person’s life, and are given the ‘right to vote’ toward a positive and a negative outcome that would be taken on upon this man’s life – the audience, conveniently suited with masks that enhance their anonymity – cast their vote to massively decide through the majority rule vote what the life of the man would turn out to be for the night. This is a perfect depiction of how we are all nicely sitting on our asses, having our lives backed up with money in our pockets while we watch the whole planet and beings going extinct and crumbling down to ashes as a result of us having disregarded any other single particle ‘outside of ourselves’ As ourselves, equal and one, and only abused it in order to create a vulgar display of power where we are able to decide upon another’s life in a deliberate manner to feel ‘empowered..’

And! We are waiting for doomsday? Wtf.

 

Derren Brown - the Show -Evil Human Nature

 

The results are not surprising considering the inherent human nature that is Evil as the reverse of life. This show reveals to what extent – even if given the ability of ‘free choice’ as in freely choosing and deciding upon a being’s life – the majority of the people votes for all the worst to happen to the man/ subject of the show – what for? One can see the thrill as the excitement that is generated through vicariously witnessing another’s suffering and having the power to say ‘I made him go through that/ I deliberately wanted that person to have a shitty time in his life, yeah man! that’s some real fun, hey’ – Writing these words is already quite a criminal sentence, however the point that I am here to share, place out and walk through is how after watching this for a moment I felt disgusted for being a human being – again: a feeling/ experience created at a mind level as the usual disdain that I would project and cultivate toward humanity in the past, myself included, of which some layers/ dimensions will certainly come up as they are ‘stirred’ through external stimuli. I was a perfect example of how to loathe reality and still manage to get your personal interests in place. 

 

Continuing from – Evil:

194. Let the Mask Fall!

 

I realized to what extent it is relevant to speak about this topic since we’re only few days away from the great non-event that will probably only serve as an excuse to immigrate to another ‘meaningful date’ to a few years from here on – I will resume with the education point I had last shared until I lay out the latest discoveries of this character. I suggest reading the blogs listed above to get a perspective of my own fuckups with regards to how fervently I would dare to speak about things like the end of the world and rejoice about it, just like a perfect doomsday activist that I was on my way to become some years ago.

 

Throughout this Process I have realized that I cannot in any way continue creating judgments upon those that judge, that would be the obvious law of stupidity, isn’t it? It took me quite a while to grasp it and all I can say is I am applying and practicing to live humbleness after realizing my own fuckups within this aspect in my life.

 

The only reason why I prayed – figuratively speaking – for the world to end was precisely because I would generate the same type of disgust toward humanity to the one I experienced today after watching this show, a remnant of the type of thinking I would function in a 24/7 attitude in my past, and I must say that committing oneself to stop the continuous judgment has been a definitive decision that must be lived in every single moment that I decide to breathe as life and stop myself from playing the grumpy old humanity-Grinch that I had become. Obviously, it was easier to just want everything to be ‘washed away,’ sucked by some massive black hole or obliterated by some meteorite – in fact the word ‘obliterate’ holds the relationship to this ‘massive’ desire to end it all.

 

But the reality is that: I didn’t want to face what I had become, what we’ve become. I have written about this before several times but the whole death and destruction point has reached its peak, since it’s only a few days away now for Nothing to happen for once and for all.

 

You can read more  from the ‘Doomsday Character’ here:

 

Fortunately, I found self forgiveness and no, this is no  religious-sinner act here. This is about being profoundly ashamed of myself as a human being for what we’ve done and become, and be able to give myself a second chance to live, a second opportunity to start from scratch and I’ll never forget when I heard those words and decided from there on that I would choose life.

 

It is only through Self-Forgiveness that one can stand up from all the guilt, remorse, shame and all the psychological and physical heavy loaded guns that we have emptied upon ourselves, each other, the animals, the Earth, children, every single spec of life that we are obviously unaware and have disregarded while seeking for our greatest vilest excitement, which happens to be covered in sugar to disguise the fact that every form of apparent human benevolence is in fact just a blatant way to disguise our real nature, the one that can be ‘lost in the masses’ and be unable to be spotted as a perpetrator of a crime or a hideous act of nasty violence and abuse toward another fellow living part of this reality that is ourselves.

 

Can I have a single point of respect toward a human being that decides upon something really hideous to happen to another being under free choice? No, but I’ve become that as well. I have accepted and allowed the existence of a world wherein who we are has become the blatant DEMONstration of what the so-called godly given free-choice and free-will as the freedom to abuse and disrespect life in the name of self-interest as a human consciousness robot that knows nothing better but laughing at another’s disgrace and pretending there is some acceptable sense of rejoice in that. Seriously, we do that all the time.

 

We all seek happiness, bliss, joy, being content, peaceful, we wash ourselves in our benevolent acts of kindness by ‘helping others’ and showing off the super-whitened smile while secretly in the back of our head, the real evil nasty thoughts reveal that we have in fact no self-respect because if we had a single bit of integrity, we would tape our own mind from thinking any inkling of repugnant backchat and spiteful judgments toward another being. It is fucking ludicrous that anyone can possibly consider oneself as a good person, as any form of benevolent act in a world wherein our very actions on a daily basis reveal that we Only care about our own well being, our own family – fuck the rest! – our own jobs/ money/ security and let the children starve and be sold for money to feed their families –

Oh, but then again! we have our marvelous entertainment such as 2012 and the plethora of promises and hopes and positive wishes and apparent magical solutions for humanity, because in our minds we live in the delirium that ‘we deserve it’ –  Really?

We’re the almighty gods of existence here, with our elitist ways of catching up on the latest on world hunger:

About 25,000 people die every day of hunger or hunger-related causes, according to the United Nations. This is one person every three and a half seconds, as you can see on this display. Unfortunately, it is children who die most often. – poverty.com

We even got a poverty.com portal that we access in our laptops to check out some fancy numbers and statistics but  absolutely neglecting in its totality the reality of what one single reality experience of those 25 thousand beings actually experience in one single day of their lives – oh but yes, we are claiming we are empty vessels in full view and require some god, some major event to look forward to… wow, really, wow.

 

People given the free-command to decide upon a being’s life within the framework of a ‘game show’ while wearing masks to protect the oh-so-beloved ‘identity and privacy,’ collectively decide to inflict  the most hideous experiences that a single person can go through in a matter of hours – taking into consideration that such acts must be able to be broadcasted for pg-13 audience, otherwise I’m sure the evil could escalate a lot further. Now taking the same actions at a global level: how could any human being indulge in believing that as a result of a series of constant and continuous putrefactive acts, one could get some form of heavenly reward from a non-existent god as a result of one’s nastiness and brutality inflicted upon all life forms in every single second that life is disregarded and instead abused? How could such a being that is deliberately flipping the middle finger to another for the sake of a laughter in any way expect that some divine hand is going to come and wipe out the whole earth to end the suffering of everyone and some ‘special ones’ ascend to the heavens?

 

How can we as humanity, accepting and allowing this delusional and hypocritical world system in any way expect something GOOD and Benevolent emerging out of Nowhere on a single day that everyone seems to be waiting for, as if there was some mighty being or force that was actually pleased with what we’ve become in order to grant us the long-awaited doomsday. In and for all cases, we’re all equally and one doomed beyond measure for what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become – yet this is not an excuse to say ‘it’s too much’ and then give up, as that would only indicate a timeloop that will have to be corrected anyways.

 

It is also quite a paradox that I have to recommend a TV show to witness our reality, simply because we haven’t been Paying Attention to our reality outside the door, but instead have to read about it, watch it through our HDMI screens and get a bucket of cold water to wake up from the slumber we’re in. Will we learn? Unfortunately as history has shown: we don’t. Even if millions die in world wars and keep the memory intact as if it had been in fact the most atrocious acts in humanity, we perpetrate and support with our very thinking-schemes a system that is founded upon abuse, our desires to be happy, rich, fulfilled, to be joyous and blissful at the expense of others, never minding about a single thing that must be sacrificed for such a ‘good time,’ because in the end we’re the ‘masters of disguise’ when it comes to painting an entire town red without realizing that it’s actually blood that’s been shed in order for some twisted idea of progress to exist.

 

If we could look at oil as the result of the actual processes in which  the oil itself was discovered and exploited, the suffering of the beings caused for the wars that lead to the appropriation of oil from some middle east country and the crimes committed in the name of this ‘dark gold’ as a form of quantum-memory projecting itself as you pump gas into your car, one could probably have a constant reminder of what our idea of ‘civilization’ is all about. Feeling guilty or remorseful or taking yourself to a point of wanting to commit suicide won’t do a thing, it will only make things worse because even such ‘decisions’ are made in self interest: only caring about – once again – one’s own experience and are no different in essence to a decision made to live in eternal bliss, because even death was believed to be a final-point to the book we’ve jotted upon as ‘our life.’ It is not so, definitely, it is the most stupid thing one can do as well as believing that some magic date will bring an end to this ‘torture in life.’

 

The reason why I am writing this is because I felt a nauseous experience about humanity again as I hadn’t felt in quite a while in spite of the amount of information and personal self investigation wherein we become aware of how we are Not in any way any benevolent act on Earth. But one has to be actually faced with this form of ‘entertainment’ that is revealed to be quite a blow on our face what we have deemed as ‘funny’ as ‘entertaining’ and ‘acceptable’ within the constrains of our mediated minds wherein no respect, honor and regard for life exists, at all, because all of the reverse to that is what sells well.

 

All I could think of is: I am here, I acknowledge what I’ve done, what I’ve created and propitiated within my every day living – I am no different to the beings that deliberately chooses upon the man’s ‘bad time’ on this TV show. Through my accepted and allowed existence and continuation within this system, I am in complicity to the thousands of people dying every day of starvation, I am directly responsible for the belief upon any form of hope for things ever ‘getting better’ or in the best-case scenario, or in the shape of my old secret desires, witness a full deployment of natural forces upon humanity, to just boil down the Earth to ashes – such self destructive thoughts are continually lived as our personal hells in our minds, every single day having to battle ‘the damned thing’ that is ourselves, foolishly so only battling our own minds as an experience.

 

No wonder the world is what it is, we rather cut down trees and put some shiny lights upon them and profess ‘love and peace’ for a few couple of days while massively consuming shit that we don’t need and call that ‘holy-days,’ really? Do  a research on the type of activity humans rejoice in such holy-days: massive amounts of alcohol, porn, drugs and any other form of brutal entertainment is ensued to ‘kill the dread’ that these ‘holidays’ are usually adorned with in a regular human being’s life. This is what we’ve become.

 

Now, feeling disgust and feeling any form of actual shame would only be me playing the necessary role for this massive mindfuck to continue. We all have to STOP no matter what from existing within this perpetual game of self-righteous acts of self-believed immaculate souls that actually ‘do good’ in any way whatsoever on Earth.

 

I, of course, cannot count myself out of everything that I am writing as I am writing this within the full awareness that I have not lived to the 100% that I would want to, but it still remains a ‘want,’ a ‘need’ and a ‘desire’ that is the same type of desires that can burn someone’s hands in the form of having the impulse and drive to steal, rape, murder or just commit some form of violence within the same impetus that the mind as an energetic drive creates within our physical bodies – there is no self movement yet, and that is what the correction will have to be if doomsday is to be stopped as any form of deviation toward the actual responsibility we hold as human beings toward each other as equals.

 

It is Not Real to ‘want’ to change – it is no different to wishing light and love, really. We must LIVE change, we must Ensure that No single thought toward another living being is exerted. It is to be realized that one cannot play the benevolent act within the current frames wherein benevolence is actually founded upon abuse.

 

We present common sense, the reality of how things function, the blatant truth of what we’ve become in an attempt to make ourselves feel special and unique and with some form of ‘divine seed’ awaiting to sprout some more industrial glitter to give head to further ‘love and light,’ in the hopes of getting ass-ended to the heavens of the 5th dimension – or as I wished upon – dying to forevermore cease to exist so that I would not have to face myself among such humanity that I came to despise, without realizing I was only staring back at me: self victimization as another entertainment of me and my mind alone.

 

We still have the ability to take the ‘Remote Control’ as a single decision to think, do and say what is best for all life, always – We can be carried over by this sense of deindividuation that takes place, wherein we believe that we cannot be ‘spotted on’ for not giving a damn about life, for not standing up ‘who will notice? does anybody care what I had to say? what I do and how I live MY life? Why should I place myself ‘out there’ for people that don’t give a fuck? Well, these might be well known excuses that I have participated in myself that reveal we have to actually make a deliberate action to stand up for life, otherwise the voices in our head will grow bigger than ourselves – in our mind.  It takes guts to be able to place oneself as an example of how we can take our lives from the very filthy bottom of the pit of regret that we get to when realizing what we’ve done, and have the strength to stand up and walk a daily process of self forgiveness, self introspection through writing and deciding to live and apply a practical correction in order to ensure that Never Again do we ever perpetuate what we’ve been and become, of which this world is the unfortunate genuine expression of.

 

Just as the people in Brown’s gameshow decided to NOT give what’s best for all as what they would want for themselves to this man as the main ‘subject’ of the whole experiment, we are living out that single decision in real life, idiotically following through with a system of absolute blatant self abuse wherein no one seems to give a reverend fuck as long as one is protected with enough money to live way and have some entertainment and some nice piece of land to own to look at. What about the rest? who the hell decided that we have the ability to have computers, be able to read or have our elitist lives to only be writing about all that which we have neglected and abused in our lives? yet, we are doing it , because it is what we have, it is the last call before all hell breaks lose even further than it already is, and not hearing what we say when we propose to Choose Life, Choose to Give and Receive what is Best for All, what we All would want for ourselves as the Real demonstration of what Loving our Neighbor should be, to actually create the greatest actual physical heaven on Earth, we decide to spite each other and mock the hell out of it just because ‘we can.’ 

 

Now, after all of this, going into victimization and saying ‘we don’t deserve to live’ can be just another ego game – been there, done that and as such, I direct myself to realize that any form of experience from the realization of what we’ve done and become is just another mind-game to remain in my safe spot of inaction and bypass stander-act that I have so much judged upon other human beings. This is where we realize that this all does not require further large faces and pretentious acts of ‘care,’ as the people at the end of the show reveal themselves to have. I bet the shock only lasted for a couple of hours only to get back into reality, probably still deciding to ruin someone else’s life with as much ease as pressing the button that will lead another piece-of-here toward their own personal doomsday. And still that’s a controlled act, but what about reality that is here where abuse goes inadvertently flying by under our noses every single day.

 

For that matter, this is doomsday to me: having to witness every single day through what we can read on the news, watch in documentaries, read from our very own minds is causing this world to go straight down the drain in  free fall with little to no common sense at all being integrated as who we are on Earth.  It should be a matter of alarm if you while watching the show decide that it would be fun to see the person suffer. And I questioned once the violent acts within the Roman circus with people that would rejoice seeing ‘beasts’ fighting gladiators and all forms of violence as entertainment – we already then knew what kept the masses going and happy: blood, violence, abuse, decay, that is the real show, our own game show wherein we’ve accepted that some must win and some must die. It is, to say the least, unacceptable.

 

So, I breathe and realize that the only way we are ever going to get through this is through learning how to Self-Forgive, learning how to walk practical solutions for every single point of accepted and allowed inequality, separation and neglect toward another fellow being that I have participated in within my life. Resisting or Judging Self  Forgiveness is the only way to actually redeem ourselves from our constant and consistent hideous acts of self interest that we’ve gladly cultivated without a question.

 

Time  to stop waiting around for a mighty and glorious end of the world as that is really just the festive act for the ones that are quite shitscared to face the reality of what we’ve become – I once was there in such lines, I’ve crossed the divide between projecting blame and hatred toward humanity and learned how to take self responsibility, which begins by me stopping m y own accepted and allowed continuation of separation and commit myself to LIVE, to integrate myself as a physical presence within my physical body wherein I learn how to honor each moment of life that I breathe and not participate in any further mind games that have the most consequential outflows upon life.

 

We are an organization worldwide that exists for one single purpose: establishing life in Equality on Earth through a new political and economic system  and currently provides absolutely free self support for over 5 years now of which I I have been a participant of with my own living-process that can be read from head to toe in this same pages you are reading this on. We present a never before given solution for the world’s problems in one single presentation: the Equal Money System, which is essentially doing the least voted options in Derren Brown’s experiment with people: giving to each other what we would want for ourselves, sure these people never took into consideration that such being is themselves, and how anyone that suffers in this world for that matter is also ourselves.

This means that it requires self education to learn how we can only thrive in humanity if we regard each other as equals, and for that we require to continue existing as a living-functional seed of life that has been planted in this murky sea of death and destruction. This opportunity is only lasting for a lifetime. If you decide that you would like to contribute to the minority that is currently deciding any form of benevolence upon others, join us, the more we unite in one single voice as common sense, life in equality and equal money, we can create further awareness of there being a new way of living, one where causing havoc in a being’s life is seen as the blatant abuse that it is and not something we can openly laugh at while hiding behind masks to prevent one from being seen and recognized for our true intentions that are the result of having abdicated our physical common sense in life to a mind that thrives of separation and conflict.

 

“And if you Dare to Live in Self-Interest, without Considering All Other Life as Equal: there will be a Consequence. That Consequence will come, and be Visited upon each one According to what has been Allowed throughout All Time. Man tend to very easily Forget to what Extent he Participate in Disharmony, and will use All Kinds of Ways to Achieve a Higher Consciousness without doing any Restitution to Correct the Harm Accepted and Allowed and Done in his Past Life on Earth.” – Bernard Poolman  – Day 240: Apocalypse in Heaven – ADC – Part 87

 

I’ve chosen to stop my own delusions and walk a self-corrective process in order to learn how to breathe instead of reacting with further anger while witnessing any form of neglect in our reality, as I see, realize and understand that me creating further experiences in my  mind  is no different to existing in the same mind-possessed mechanism that decides upon the very outcomes of life on Earth. unless we stop, this current highway to hell will only be walked fully with no ability to turn back.

‘Hopefully,’ 2012 will become the year that we stop indulging in any form of escapism and desires for change, but instead open our eyes to see to what extent we are actually causing our own doomsday and ‘end of days’  every single day that we reduce our living condition to a single budget sustained by a massive exploitation of resources and call that a ‘life.’

 

We Must Declare what we are willing to accept and allow and what we are not. I declare that I am not willing to accept and allow myself to create a single form of division within me toward another human being in the form of these ‘invisible entities’ as thoughts that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as, and that this becomes the actual gift that I would want to receive from any other person: I stop expecting Change outside of myself and Live it As myself.

 

As for Derren, I’ve learned important points in the past few weeks that I’ve been watching his shows online, it’s quite a brilliant way to expose humanity and made as attractive as any form of regular entertainment on national TV, that is genius – and a great source for money as well.

 

Suggestion is: support yourself, learn what common sense in Self Honesty mean, as well as reading all our blogs from the people that are already living this as a living decision of who we really are:  Journey To Life 

 

“We can take these Memories, these Buildings, our Physical Society and we can Change our Relationship to it, and to Each Other to be What is Best for All Life and we can Prevent Apocalypse. We can Change who we are, what we are, how we are, why we are – and a New World will be Born. This Way: the Old World will Pass Away and we’ll Create a New World. Then, we can Create a New Heaven because the Old One has already Passed Away.
Will we do so? Unfortunately, at this stage – it will still take Quite a While.” – Bernard Poolman

 

I will follow through in the next posts with respective self forgiveness for that usual impetus I get into whenever I react in any way toward this ‘mass’ that I belong to as humanity, which was the main reason I plead for the world to end in 2012, Self Responsibility and the ability to Stand Up is what I got.

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“Join us at Desteni DIP Lite. The Journey to Change is Not Easy. If it was easy to Change, everybody would have. But because it is the most Difficult thing you’ll Ever Face, Real Change: very Few are Willing to Give Up their Lives as it exist now, to Give Up this One Life – to Produce on Earth a New World For All. That is the Great Service anyone can Give: Give up Self-Interest, to Serve the Interest of All, as what is Best for All Life. “  Bernard Poolman

Equal Money System

TakingMaskOff

Taking Off the Mask – 2008

 

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