Category Archives: school

418. Deschooling Ourselves: Why and How to Do it?

 

unlearn rethink

After watching Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves workshop video, I realized how important it is to be aware of how much of ‘who we become’ as a person in our society and in relation to others is shaped in and by the schooling system. To this, it would also be unfair to only look at school as the only one problem there is in our society, because schools were created by us human beings in the first place so there’s a human mind behind it all; albeit for all practical purposes, the idea of ‘education’ and the blind trust that parents confer to the schooling system makes of the schooling system set up the most easy way to actually justify integrating values, beliefs, behaviors, ways of thinking reality, ways of relating to others, ways of survival among one another where we are geared to continually having to prove ourselves to be ‘the best’ or ‘the worst’ in a system of standardized marks.

School is also the place where we come to first get in contact with people of different backgrounds, where our initial social clash begins which leads us to start inherently doing a process of preference over principle, which is how we come to build our very first friendships and relationships, where we as children do not  have a full awareness of us in fact being in a closed-system where one gets to be friends with people that could or could not afford some private/public school, and so already from there, we start classifying ourselves based on our socioeconomic background.

I have to say it is also unfortunately the place where parents place their most trust on within the systemically integrated belief that ‘whatever happens in school is just fine’ and that teachers and the government system behind it as education system ‘knows best’ – while parents mostly see this as some free time from their parental duty – or are deliberately also kept busier with long hours of work which is leading to unattended children growing up in front of TV’s, computers plugged into the myriad of boundless information on the internet and learning tricks about drugs and developing sexual deviances as a way to escape the inherent anguish of living in a world where parents must work 24/7 to get money to live, and where you as a child/youngster will invariably have to end up doing the same… I mean, who would not react to that expectative of one’s ‘future’ in this broken world? Yet we dismiss it and actually have come to blame schools, blame media, blame the government, blame parents and so as you can see blaming each other for the problems we have co-created in our society of which school is one great and pivotal pillar of.

 

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There’s a complete structural problem in our society and a large part of it has to do with how we haven’t questioned our sacred institutions like schools and the way they exist nowadays, which from my perspective are more like prisons or reformatory cells, they have always been the brewing ground for behavioral conditioning, human experimentation and indoctrination which goes unnoticed within the idea that there’s always an authority that somehow has a ‘greater understanding,’ because we place our trust on systems of validation, certification and quality-proof standards placed by some organization we’ve defined as government, which are a few individuals that have unfortunately proven to be easily bribed to rather arrange laws and regulations in a way where other individuals can be benefitted from it all – either for profit, for further population control or both. All of this apparatus of authority is currently quite skewed of course and it is rather alarming since school is the spot where kids are mandated to go to every single day – yet, even if kids do not go to a school per se, the same principles of it are still embedded in the way that we organize ourselves, in the way that we related with one another, in the way that we value ourselves, in the way that we choose what we want to do with our lives, in the way that we behave with our families and friends. The sheer idea of ‘education’ as it exists now is only a reinforce and catalyzer of essential mind and behavioral patterns that have existed within us as human beings since the beginning of our species, as they are all existent in the very core programming and functioning of our minds. So, what have we done then? We have only perfected the mechanism to make it a continuous mandatory process for kids to get to like/dislike certain things and make decisions based on, well, mostly fear of survival so that we can keep the same slave system mechanism running. But is it really the system that is the enslaving one? Or is it that we haven’t really realized where the real policeman ‘in the head’ resides in? Hint, the answer is already given in that question.

 

In Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves, a group of people walk through and expose all the behaviors, personalities, quirks and fears that they have become throughout their schooling years, wherein either one would stick to the rules and follow or dissent and rebel in whichever way possible, one would start valuing oneself according to the kind of work you deliver to the teacher, another would seek to prove the teacher wrong, another would seek be approved by them, another just wanted to break free and rebel against all rules… this also included some other more personal aspects like  because in school we also have mostly faced some of our most embarrassing or stressing moments.

I’ve shared before about crying over getting lost during math calculation exercise and not being able to keep track of it, getting so anxious that I burst into tears. From my experience, I’ve shared before about the usual pressure one would get when being ‘on the top’ and so having some classmates trying to ‘take me down/take ‘my place’ and directly letting me know how they would win over me and how they would see me fall and be glad for it, etc. All kinds of bullying also comes when being the one that sticks to all rules and does things ‘to the T,’ which to me for example later on became a way to simply dislike being used as an example for the class, which led me to then want to hide while  still wanting to keep my sense of public recognition. This influenced the way I shaped my main personalities: I started to desire being ‘cool’ for any other reason other than getting straight A’s …  and kind of a ‘rebel’ by liking non-popular things so that I could make it clear that I wasn’t ‘the teacher’s pet’ either for example.

All of these patterns are part of a lengthy self-investigative process that is contained in the pages of this blog as I’ve seen that most of the times when investigating any mind pattern, word or behavior, it invariably goes back to one of those ‘memories of schooling days’ and how some of the most ingrained fight or flight patterns, behaviors, attitudes, self-definitions like qualities and virtues, likes and dislikes as well as career choice a.k.a. who I wanted to be and become as a person, were shaped based on the same education system. To me it also involved a process of sharing a room with either 6 other kids in my first school and then moving onto being with over 35 in the following schools and universities, which is already quite a challenge when it comes to seeing how it is virtually impossible for teachers to be truly aware of students in large classes.

School becomes ‘the place’ where we are supposed to ‘find our ground in life’ and so, it’s quite obvious that we only become copies of the copies of stereotypes that we also acquire from the usual imprinting of professions we are supposed to go veering toward from an early age as part of the social-structure – however along with that, we got movies, TV shows imprinting a whole different set of values with which we believe we are in fact ‘making a free choice’ to do what we want, but we have never even questioned whether what ‘we want’ is in fact something we truly developed for ourselves or something we learned from school or saw on TV or internet.

In essence, we have never really been genuinely ‘ourselves’ as all we have become is copy of the copy of the coping and survival mechanisms we’ve shaped as personalities or professions, and that’s what I mostly have realized also when it comes to investigating myself and my ‘core personalities’ and how everything that I developed as ‘my personality’ was a collection of bits and pieces of popular counter-culture aspects along with a decision to antagonize the system no matter what, while remaining ‘safely’ in it at the same time since I would still like to be the obedient straight A person in school, lol, even if I tried to ‘rebel’ at the end… it just would not work as I couldn’t simply fathom myself being irresponsible at school which involved a sense of responsibility of ‘school being the one thing that I had to do as my main activity’ throughout the years.

What is behind that, for example? Fear of being punished, fear of being left behind, fear of losing my self-value and definition? Fear of losing my ‘throne’ as the first one in the class? Well, these points are definitely something that come to define ‘who one is’ based on a particular setting like school, where we actually acquire this way of thinking based on achievements, values, marks, behaviors and responsibilities that lie not within a common sensical practical outcome, but according to doing things the way they are asked to be done and according to a ranking system that is in no way based on the particular skills and abilities that are unique to each child, that is simply not part of our school system.

At the end of that Deschooling workshop by Eisenstein, the ultimate question remains: how to Deschool ourselves? And I simply realized that actually walking this process of self-investigation, of writing oneself to freedom, of developing self-honesty wherein we investigate our core patterns within ourselves is the best way to deschool ourselves, because in investigating our behaviors, our personalities, our fears, our manias, our weaknesses and strengths, our relationships, our friendships, our first traumas, our first embarrassments, our bullying experiences, our relationship to authority, our ability to learn, our qualities and deficiencies, comparison and judgment toward others, our discriminatory or empathic behaviors, our friendships, our enemies… all of these aspects that one actually gets to first live in school – most of the times – are part of what one can write out for oneself, investigating each pattern within the awareness of writing the experience out to identify how is it that one has limited oneself in such pattern.

So for example, if I had continued to only value myself according to what marks I would get in school, and feel ‘bad’ for getting a lower mark, then I would have continued to seek to get some ‘straight A’s’ or the equivalent way to get such ‘superiority validation’ somewhere else in my world, just because of not wanting to get to the opposite side of that and so lose my self-validation/recognition. So I had to work with understanding ‘who am I as recognition’ and the desire thereof, where am I not valuing myself, how have I accepted and allowed myself to only value myself according to achievements at school? Or how have I believed myself to only be a brain that thinks well? Where am I not actually seeing myself beyond this limited valuing perspective and really seeing through a broader potential that I had probably and most likely would not have developed if I had continued to only stick to my personality and personal desires.

So, deschooling ourselves involves a practical and continuous application of walking a process to self-forgive and let go of all the plethora of perceived flaws, definitions, beliefs, limitations, fears and rather work with developing real self-value, real self-acceptance and skills to develop ourselves to our utmost potential. In this, for example, I had to stop the desire to be recognized by others, while at the same time also walking the opposite polarity – because, as one walks one pattern you also get to understand how the mind works in polarities. And so I realized that along with my desire to be recognized, I also got to fear being recognized and so actually sought to ‘hide’ or become a rather ‘low-key’ individual while still holding on this ‘recognition’ point in place, so essentially I would create my own inner conflict which I even externalized in the way that I would dress in a rather extravagant manner while  at the same time using my body’s posture to indicate that I didn’t want to be seen, so I would hunch while walking because I believed that standing straight was ‘showing off’ and only able to be done by good looking girls for example, lol, yes all of this is a fine example of how we pollute our minds in fact.

So, this is just a tip of the iceberg example that one is actually able to investigate for oneself when looking at all the patterns we’ve become in our lives, not only from school but acquired from parents, from people we watch on TV, from the books we read, from the people we admire, from our friends and people around us, etc. As I’ve mentioned, we’ve become the copies of the copies and so the schooling system, the social system has become nothing but a reflection of these categories and identities existent and developed in our minds wherein we get lost in comparison, judgment and the idea of value in relation to ‘who we are’ within the system, all of which actually enables us to coexist within our current dog-eat-dog mentality, where all that matters is achieving personal glory regardless of who or what is abused and affected by it, or ‘collaterally damaged.’

 

I am a product of this society and I’ve had to walk this rather astounding process of deschooling myself,  of deprogramming myself in my mind while at the same time walking a process of self-creation, which is a continued process of self-investigation of every single moment, every single day wherein one continues to assert oneself as the new integration of common sense, of living principles, of a sense of commonality, of a consideration of what’s best for all, of not following an experience as to ‘how I feel’ or how I believe ‘I should feel/be like/act like/talk like’ to dictate who I am in the moment,  wherein it is a continuous process of letting go of any constrains and limitations that I have previously identified through writing, and have released through the process of self-forgiving behaviors, emotions, feelings, thinking patterns, ideas about myself so that I could then practically and actively work on stopping myself from running-through the same old programmed ‘me.’

Now I place my focus on attention on this self-creation process which is truly a first-timer for us all to be able to walk and do, because it is now that we are for the first time becoming more and more aware of things that were deeply rooted in the unconscious before. Now we are able to slowly but surely as humanity able to spot these patterns and behaviors with greater ease, and I have to say that this then a great opportunity and it does rejoice me to see more and more people starting to question themselves, and the overall world-system, which indicates there’s in fact a great opportunity existent here to change the direction of our lives if more and more people start waking up and smelling reality for what it is so that we can work together to correct and align it.

I must also say that when I speak of this process, it isn’t something I do ‘by myself’ nope, it would have been mostly more difficult I’d say – I walk with a group of people networked through the internet – around the globe – with whom we’ve shared our lives,  our writings for over 7 years now, keeping in constant processes of developing and strengthening our communication and feedback processes to ensure that we don’t get lost in this re-educational process we’re walking, which has to do little to nothing to any regular ‘schooling system,’ but we are all more than certain that more individuals must recognize the vital importance of implementing this self-investigation process as part of our schooling system, learning how to work with our minds as our thoughts, feelings, emotions, to learn how to effectively write them out and communicate about them while integrating a sense of self-support through developing common sense: the consideration of what is best for all. 

It is about time we realize that it makes complete sense to actually focus on empowering each other to learn how to best coexist as human beings rather than focusing on being liked by the teacher, or beating our classmates, or planning ways to get into a group of friends to ‘fit in,’ or planning our greatest success where we disregard another’s life of lack of opportunities and suffering that is and has become our collateral damage in this zero sum reality.

It is thus in our greatest and most common interest that we could all walk this self-education process of self-honesty which is a process of self-creation according to living principles to get to develop ourselves to our fullest potential, and so make it part of our educational programs in whichever way they take shape in the (near) future once that we more and more realize how detrimental and even harmful our current standardized type of educational systems are which actually stems from the skewed and misconstrued value systems in our minds.  

So, the best way to deschool ourselves, which is the same as saying the best way to change ourselves is definitely walking the Desteni I Process. There’s no greater set of tools in this world, nor greater group of people that commit themselves to support one another throughout this Journey to Life, to live in dignity and equality. And I can only encourage everyone to try it out for yourself, because if I had aimed at simply wanting to ‘change’ but not really investigating my mind and living patterns to the utmost degree, to really learn how to sweep behind the rug of my memories, my past, my experiences, to understand who am I within my mind and how to practically apply and establish solutions in my day to day living, I would have been equally lost in a constant yearning ‘for change’ but not really knowing how or where to start.

This isn’t an easy thing to do either, it’s probably the greatest commitment we’ll ever make in our lives, which is our commitment to actually learn how to live in the benefit of ourselves and all life considered. However, it will for sure be the most rewarding and long lasting for future generations as well.  

 

Recommend to Read:

Teacher’s Journey To Life

 

Remove the cords - self change -deschooling - desteni

Artwork by Damián Ledesma 

 

 

Recommended to watch:

Hear the Podcasts:

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

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388. Regretting Choices and Definitions

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Forgiveness on:

I require to open up – again – the relationship with art. I’ve noticed that I created some sort of past bad relationship experience with it, similar to the ones that I’ve had with people throughout my life wherein there were things unsaid, situations undirected and just cutting it up from one day to another without further communication. I realize I’ve done this with art creation and the general regret I’ve had in terms of the decision I took some 8 years ago to go to art school and actually drop out from my first choice which was linguistics and which would have probably been a lot more supportive for me to have as a degree than arts, and so there goes regret as well for the choices I made in the delusion of ‘I want to express myself ’ and limit that definition to only ‘arts’ and specifically visual arts. To begin with, a disclaimer here is to understand that I am walking/writing out my frame of mind and that whichever judgment I place here in relation to arts/artists/creative processes in art is what I’ve conjured up throughout time and self-reflection about my decisions in life and in no way does this imply an actual ‘bashing’ as all of these judgments, ideas, perceptions, conceptions will be self-forgiven.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the moment of creating something as an image, a picture, a painting as something rather ‘pointless’ and useless in which ‘I have wasted my time’ and in this generating the overall idea that ‘doing art’ is a waste of time – without looking at how I began to define what I would do as ‘art work’ as ‘meaningless’ and ‘pointless’ when I began to understand my motives, my purpose behind ‘being an artist’ myself – wherein I wanted to Define ME according to my creation, according to every single drawing, painting, photograph, video or any other creation that would be part of my ego-construction as the ‘who I believe myself to be’ and all of this based on the premise of ‘me wanting to be famous’ or ‘me wanting to be recognized as special and unique’ and so, when the time came for me to debunk myself, my own ego-construction of ‘who I am’ as ‘an artist,’ then all of the experiences and definitions that I had attached onto painting, drawing, doing anything creative even with words, photographs, videos… all of it I then judged as ‘useless’ or ‘pointless’ because they were not going to fulfill My idea of what these things were meant to be doing For Me before, which was ‘building my ego.’ And as such, when I stop participating in the creation of my ego through my artworks and my so called ‘special vision’ I then create a polarity relationship toward my creations because I could no longer see them as unique or special or anything like that, and instead of seeing them just for the matter/materials and arrangements that they are, I went into an opposite experience defining these creations as pointless, egotistical and useless without realizing the polarity judgments I was creating based on having first defined artistic creations with all positive experiences such as a genuine representation and expression of who I am, and what I want to express to the world – which came with the imprint of ‘me’ as special and unique. So this is to identify the polarity relationship I created based on my own definitions

I realize that therefore the experience that I’ve generated toward ‘art’ in general doesn’t provide a solution to the problems in this world – and within this generalizing what ‘art’ is based on what expectations I didn’t get fulfilled for myself within the relationship formed toward Art itself, and this is how it is no different to how we can ‘call names’ to something or someone that doesn’t satisfy us based on the ideals that we created about it, yet I didn’t work on in order to manifest these ideals into reality either.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want ‘art’ to be and become this ‘tool’ with which I can ‘change the world,’ without realizing that I then caged myself within my own intentions, definitions and purpose I gave to ‘art’ in itself – instead of myself – and as such, when I saw that these aims and purposes were not ‘fulfilled’ in a rather noticeable manner or ‘short span,’ then I simply gave it up because I realized that there were other ways to make this process of self-change more tangible and noticeable other than paintings, drawings, little videos or else as these creations were mostly born within the intention of myself as ego, as the idea of being able to create a name for myself and be glorified by it and missing out the entire point that I now see is more relevant, which is not self-glorification but to utilize our skills, our talents to provide a key for others to start questioning reality and start considering another way in which we are able to live and as such, change the world in a practical manner, which begins within self;

I initially have had certain ideas imprinted within my decision to create art which were among others to evade the world – without realizing one cannot really do this – being able to become a special/unique individual with this amazing vision of the world – and within this, I decided to rather focusing on myself, my own deconstruction of the ego I had become and reconstruct myself as an individual that can genuinely be and become an example of what it is to focus on what matters in this world within the principle of doing what’s best for everyone, what can create and generate actual changes in this world and within this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘art’ as being unable to do this, and this is where I clarify that it is not that ‘art’ in itself isn’t able to do the work, as it is ourselves as human beings the ones that are responsible for using whichever tools and means we have and see can be effective to share a message with others and provide solutions to our lives within our minds where we usually only see problems and conflicts.

I realize that I had delegated some kind of ‘magic power’ to art to be this transformational tool that can in itself ‘change people’s lives’ which is rather pretentious, non realistic and even with bits of spiritual approach that I had initially also commenced with in my relationship with art as well – therefore I now see, realize and understand that art in any of it forms or definitions for that matter, can be used as a tool to support the realization of ourselves as human beings, to portray the problems and the solutions that we can all give direction to – but in no way can I expect this ‘thing’ or ‘concept’ as ‘art’ to do the thing for itself, as it is Always about ourselves human beings being able to give direction to ourselves with using any and all means/media/methods and tools that are existent within our world and societies as of now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a relationship of ‘hate’ and ‘love’ toward art – wherein I went in this form of ‘hate’ based on not getting my expected results from it, or being disillusioned from the results I was expecting I would get from it, which is once again wanting this something/someone create some transcendental change for me and others in itself, without realizing that I had to give it direction, make things happen, make things works instead of just hoping or wishing that something like an artistic expression does the work in itself – it can be an aid within the purpose of assisting and supporting ourselves as human beings to ‘wake up’ and realize the work that is required to be done in order to give ourselves direction and responsibility to our world which is our creation – and in this art is not more or less than any other expression or tool or point existing in our reality that has an equal potential of being supportive within our process of self-realization and self-responsibility as equals in this world.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to develop a relationship of ‘love’ toward art based on the Experiences I created within me while working on it: being able to be alone, detached from the world, sinking into my imagination, being able to just ‘forget about the world’ and recreate one of my own within the starting point of someday maybe getting real fame and glory from it, being recognized as this talented unique individual that I had believed myself to be and as such, believing that ‘my thing’ was to do art, just because I wanted to give continuation to this great experience that I was building myself as through the work I was doing.

Within this I realize that it’s not about ‘bashing’ what I’ve done or now see it as pointless or useless as those are all definitions I now see and understand stem from having remained in the polarity opposite of loving it, making it special and unique – so this way I am able to now stand one and equal to any ‘artistic creation’ or ‘artwork’ in itself within the realization that it’s no different to any other thing we have created as human beings – be it a concept, a tool, a house, a business, a baby, an entire world-system – all of these are creations that entailed a creative and intellectual process in them, so that doesn’t make them ‘art works’ per se, because we’ve defined ‘art’ within a specific ‘realm’ of human creations which is how we developed the whole ‘specialness’ around it, wherein if we genuinely expand creation to anything we do, anything we say and think, then we will genuinely live as self-creators of ourselves, our world without having to tag it as ‘work of art’ since it will be a creation within the principles that each one can recognize and embrace individually: self creation in self-awareness, self responsibility, letting go of the pondering process of the individual as ‘special’ and instead focus on our creative, physical abilities that we have as human beings – both physically and mentally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see ‘art’ as no different to any other failed relationship wherein it seemed as if from one day to the other I simply no longer have anything to do with the person or situation and without further communication or understanding of why we parted ways, it’s simply a ‘breakup’ of sorts wherein I have generated the usual experience of ‘not wanting to see the thing or person again’ and overall avoidance toward the point/person in my life as if that was a clear way to deal with it. I realize that this is mostly suppressing the problem, suppressing what caused the breakup and believe that just by not thinking of it or avoiding looking into the point I am doing myself a favor when in fact it’s the opposite – there more I leave it ‘unresolved’ the more it becomes this ‘confusing’ thing, a mulling around that I experience toward the point or person, because I hadn’t clarified or structured my position or stance toward that person or point in my reality and as such I turn it into something I had to overall try and ‘erase’ without further consequence.

I realize now that I cannot ‘hide’ from these type of situations that I believed I had ‘dealt with’ or I had ‘walked through’ in this process in relation to art – as I realize that I hadn’t entirely clarified the self-corrective process in relation to ‘who I am’ toward art or creative process done by myself or others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to at times go into a diatribe of should I or shouldn’t I go to see this exhibition or movie or concert just because of seeing it as pointless, useless or a way to ‘activate my excitement’ without realizing that the polarity relationship of resistance was created because of all the definitions I had still held in separation of myself, such as the experiences I’d had when looking at certain paintings or movies or music – and within this believing that I had to ‘quit it’ no different to a drug that I had to let go for once and for all in order to not have to be ‘enticed’ by it once again and ‘get lost’ in it.

Now I see, realize and understand that these ‘fears’ of consequences if I would ‘delve’ into the artistic creation, were all based on the initial Desires I had placed or attributed to art and artistic creations of myself and others – therefore the sole creator of this inner conflict is obviously myself, my mind, my past habits and my apparent inability to conciliate my relationship with art to see it for what it is: matter, colors, sounds, images that I can look at in a way that is no different to appreciating or even enjoying any other part of this reality – and within that if an artistic creation can provide any support to this process of self-realization: that’s great, that’s a ‘plus’ point in relation to what I see is necessary for us to realize in this world – but, in no way does it mean that because an artwork, a film, or certain music aren’t related to a process of self-realization or ‘changing the world’ will it make it useless and pointless as those are solely my own beliefs, projections and even bitterness based on the polarity relationship I had created toward art in this love-hate paradigm, which is absolutely unnecessary once that I realize that it’s all about me letting go of still holding a relationship to art as something ‘special’ as that’s why I then kept separating ‘art’ or ‘artistic creations’ from the rest of the world and reality and people/beings in it, just because in my mind I have developed this judgmental filter toward anything that looks like, sounds like, works like something ‘artistic.’ Lol which is kind of funny and rather contradictory when understanding that separation is created by myself in my mind and I cannot advocate being one and equal to everything if there’s still a special love-hate relationship toward something or someone.

I realize that through stopping participation in judging/defining ‘art’ within a special bubble, then I can rather focus at looking, understanding and comprehending any part of reality including ‘artistic works’ for the human creation it is, for the intent it has and essentially assess that in the same manner and way that I asses a person, a person’s words, any other part of our reality, how we interact, how we create our relationships etc. And this is thus a way to stop holding the specialness-towards-art construct and start seeing it for what it is: another part of our world as our creation that we now have to take responsibility for it all ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret my decision to drop out of my initial first available career as linguistics as I see that that could’ve supported more in relation to processes of education and supporting others to develop effective language in a professional manner – and instead leave to pursue an artistic career that I mostly do not see myself as ‘following through’ with – at least not in such ‘artistic circles’ – because I’ve realized that I have now a direction that I’ve decided to take on in my life which has to do with being able to support myself and other individuals to become self-directive, self-responsible, self-honest human beings that can in turn no matter what we do, where we are, we are able to stand as living principles of self-creation that can be supportive in any field or profession in our lives.

This implies that I let go of the regret, guilt or shame for my choices in life, for the time I’ve perceived as ‘wasted’ or the ‘disillusionment’ that I created toward ‘art’ as a career in itself, which was all created in my mind and as such I take responsibility for it, to see it for what it was and now that I have such studies as foundation, I can also see what I can take from it, what I learned from it that can be implemented within the current process and direction in my life that I’ve decided to take on – and within this, understand my choices in life based on the context and time of my life when I made them. It is rather obvious that If the ‘who I am’ right now was ten years younger, I would have probably made different decisions in my life – however, also making those faux-passes have allowed me to learn from my mistakes and that this is actually stemming from fear of seeing ‘me as an artist as a failure’ because of not completing the whole ‘road to become an artist’ and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually create regret about my choices in life, without realizing that it’s actually stemming from me having wanted to ‘take the right road’ from the beginning, not wanting to fail, not wanting to be seen as a failure as an artist, or a drop out or vanish from other people’s lives as ‘she became weird and stopped doing art’ type of judgment as I see and realize that these are all judgments that I’ve created toward myself and that I now see, realize and understand that they have no point in being here ‘as me’ in my mind, because I am fully aware of the decisions I am now making in my life, being certain about the outcome and purpose that I am dedicating my life to and within this also not solidifying ‘the way’ to do it as something immovable or being non flexible in believing that ‘this is all I’ll ever do’ – as that creates a general rigidity that I’ve also seen the consequences thereof when I have to ‘break the definition’ or ‘break the pattern’ and kind of eat my own words and decisions. I realize that I am at a certain stage wherein the foundation of who I am, what I’ve decided to be and become as a person that stands as a living example of what it means to apply principles of life in equality, of self-responsibility, of integrity, of self-honesty, of changing one’s living patterns, is what I have decided within myself to do and live till the end of my life.

Now this doesn’t imply that I forcefully have to ‘fit’ my schooling-career into it or else, but see the multiple possibilities of what we can do and how we can apply our skills, talents and knowledge for self supportive purposes in this world, and step out of any rigidity within ‘having certain career’ only. I have also realized that the process I’m walking is that of self-creation: recreating myself after a deconstruction of who I have been in order to now integrate living principles that are supportive for ourselves as individuals that can now take self-responsibility for our creation.

 

When and as I see myself generating and overall experience of resistance or judgment or even rejection toward ‘art’ or ‘artistic expressions’ I stop myself and breathe. I realize that such experiences recreate my belief and construct of ‘failed relationship with art’ which only exists as a construct of memories, experiences, ideals and beliefs of myself toward art – and as such as I realize this I can immediately stop any judgment and experience toward the word ‘art’ or ‘artistic’ or ‘artist’ in order to see physicality for what it is, whether it is human beings, or matter with colors, or images, or sounds and images, or actions that are simply human creations that I can assess in a similar way in which I asses everything else and everyone else in my reality – no more, no less.

 

When and as I see myself experiencing guilt, shame, regret for my self-defined ‘failed’ choices in life in terms of careers and studies, I stop and I breathe – I realize this stems from the fear of being seen as a failure or a drop out which are only judgments I’ve created within my mind, the fear of not being ‘successful’ at what I was meant to do simply because I didn’t even follow through with it/ didn’t do the actual work to get that which is also another point to realize here how I decided to not invest myself on the traditional forms of art-creation and instead directed myself toward self-education within a context that is entirely new and doesn’t even have a proper ‘institutional name’ with which to ‘justify’ to others what I do now– without realizing that I don’t have to ‘be’ something/a definition for others as I am well aware of how I spend my life, my every day, what I work with, who I work with, for what purpose and what my aims are in it all – therefore I stop wanting to justify myself and my decisions toward others and focus on rather assessing and evaluating myself based on the principles, objectives and decisions I’ve made to dedicate myself to this process in the form of support, education, proposals for change that can be implemented at an individual and global level.

 

I commit myself to no longer re-create any form of pattern of experiences either positive or negative around ‘art’ or ‘artists’ or judge them as useless because of being ‘artists’ or such – as those are only judgments/tags in my mind –and instead see the point of creation for what it is, as a physical or intellectual creative process and as everything, investigate all things and take what’s best. So within this it is also to commit myself to make use of formal ways of doing art in order to share a particular message or understanding that I realize is supportive for ourselves as human beings in this world and necessary within the context of the changes that we require to give direction to if we want to continue living in this world. So within this

I commit myself to give priority to the points that I see are most relevant and a matter of survival when it comes to creating solutions to the problems in this world as that is what I have personally decided to do – working at an individual and collective level to present solutions, to walk them myself and so co-operate in the process of self-realization in our world. This is what I have decided to do which in no way it means that it is what I think everyone else should also do in relation to their relationship to arts as each person’s process is different and to me within the context I’ve placed it, stepping aside from the usual definition of ‘creating art’ also means focusing on being in the world, in the system, understanding it, redefining it, considering how to build our lives and our interactions in a more supportive way and not just trying to get an experience out of it as my previous definitions of art.

I realize that I can redefine art as what I do within this process of self-creation, but that is merely for academic purposes and in no way does it mean I am trying to justify or define the fact that I want to ‘keep being an artist’ but, If I have to justify what I do to academics, then for sure it’s self-creation process as my own work of art, while realizing within myself that a definition does not really ‘define’ or ‘limit’ who we really are, but I can play the role without getting lost in it again.

 

Will continue….

 

 

Movie screen

To learn more about the mind and how we can unleash our creative powers by integrating new living principles, check out:


387. The Love/Hate Relationship with Art

Here we go…

I require to open up – again – the relationship with art. I’ve noticed that I created some sort of past bad relationship experience with it, similar to the ones that I’ve had with people throughout my life wherein there were things unsaid, situations undirected and just cutting it up from one day to another without further communication. I realize I’ve done this with art creation and the general regret I’ve had in terms of the decision I took some 8 years ago to go to art school and actually drop out from my first choice which was linguistics and which would have probably been a lot more supportive for me to have as a degree than arts, and so there goes regret as well for the choices I made in the delusion of ‘I want to express myself ’ and limit that definition to only ‘arts’ and specifically visual arts. To begin with, a disclaimer here is to understand that I am walking/writing out my frame of mind and that whichever judgment I place here in relation to arts/artists/creative processes in art is what I’ve conjured up throughout time and self-reflection about my decisions in life and in no way does this imply an actual ‘bashing’ as all of these judgments, ideas, perceptions, conceptions will be self-forgiven.

 

DSC01870

The Illusion in this world is my responsibility

It’s been a bit over 10 years when I first begun painting and the experience within that was that of enjoyment when being able to pull out everything that I would usually write in creating these images/paintings that I then started defining as ‘who I am’ and within that, already beginning to define and limit my future according to wanting to be an artist, to be able to write or paint or play music or anything that had to do with what I assumed would enable me to express myself and at the same time, be able to instigate some sort of change in the world.

I’ve mostly walked throughout the years the ‘emotional’ aspect to art and my decisions to be an artist in order to not have to ‘be in the system’ and not have to face it, and not have to deal with a lot of people, being able to stand in the ‘background’ so to speak, like someone with ‘special needs’ or ‘special mind’ and ‘special interests’ hidden in a room behind some canvass or else, yet at the same time having the works themselves get to as many people as possible…. So that’s the type of idea of a nice, lavish lifestyle I was pursuing some 8 years ago, and I was quite on the ‘good track’ getting some initial points of recognition that also led me to see the ‘fame’ for what it was and really question myself if that is what I really wanted: to have some pictures in some room in another place in this world seen by other people and be glorified by how nice they are? Well, I decided it was not the way to do what I was already veering myself to do, which is wanting to ‘Change the world’ and thus using art as the way to change the world…. separation here, yes, in trying to use this one thing to ‘change the world’ without really realizing that nothing/no one can ‘change the world’ in itself, but ourselves.

 

So that’s where we begin.

The idea of Art as an instrument to “Change the World.”

The point is I tried to make My definition of Art fit with what would enable me to use it to demonstrate that it is possible to change the world. However I realized that no matter how many images I make, how many pictures I take, how many great ideas I would have I was entirely mostly having an imaginative outflow of how this could operate without ever really landing it into any serious/real project. I always kept everything at a low-fi level because right after the first year in Art school, I discovered Desteni and my interests veered dramatically – hence the ‘shutting down’ of any pursue to further my career to make a name of myself etc. However little did I know that as I’ve seen throughout time, many artists or creative people are the ones that have been able to conceive new ways of how to develop a society that is better for everyone. Somehow people related to art are at the head of certain movements like the proposition for a Basic Income by Enno Schmidt who is an artist. The example I’ve been able to see with a more ‘landed’ discourse on social change is Joseph Beuys that dared to propose an economic, political and social change through the realization that such change begins with self, using one’s thoughts and actions as the tools with which to sculpt ourselves and so becoming the change that we want to see in this world, by understanding the interdependent relationships we have toward one another and our necessity to establish a genuine economy that reflects the true inputs of the real capital – human work/intellect or applied intellect and the use of resources to provide a dignified living to everyone in a particular society/environment- which means everyone should be equally involved in this.

“Social Sculpture, a concept and medium the artist devised and later theorized in “I am Searching for Field Character” (1973), which articulates his belief in the creative capacity of every in-dividual to shape society through participation in cultural, political, and economic life. With his proclamation that “EVERY HUMAN BEING IS AN ART-IST,” poised to join others in the construction of “A SOCIAL ORGANISM AS A WORK OF ART,” Beuys reprised the fervor and axiomatic language of manifestos written by avant-garde artists in the early twentieth century. This promulgation expanded what art could be by acknowledging the viewer’s ability to co-create meaning alongside the artist and, consequently, placed the production of art and knowledge within the scope of the viewer just as much as that of the artist.” – Joseph Beuys – Organization for Direct Democracy by Referendum

 

He went on as far as creating direct democratic referendums as part of his work of art and forming part of a political party, as well as founding a school that was aimed at providing the necessary platform for people to continue the work of social sculpture – which unfortunately I haven’t seen any further fruition from it. He also went on with economists and discussed the concept and idea/symbol of money and with that book ‘What is Money?’ realizing that the idea of social, political and economic change is not an entirely dissociated idea from an artist’s field of work. He also even funded an educational institution which is part of his legacy to continue understanding the multidisciplinary processes that education should involve.

It is so that having the ability to question more, to question reality, to analyze it in its complexity from the ‘eye of an artist’ can lead us all to become better social scientists,   questioning things that have become automated in our reality: money, politics, education, social structures, words and their definitions, mass media and its power to brainwash everyone… then I found people like Guy Debord and Marshall McLuhan who completed the narrative in relation to the world system as the reflection of ourselves, of our ‘revolutions’ as failed attempts to change something that first should be changed at an individual level – and this all made sense, I am grateful for having read these individuals to confirm what I was at the same time walking with/as part of Desteni as well as Foucault on his first chapter in Madness and Civilization about the Ship of the Fools or Stultifera Navis wherein every person that would be defined as ‘crazy/ mad/ eccentric’ would be ousted from society along with every other individual that would simply not be willing to conform to the norm or be defined as mentally insane. I could relate to all of this, however it was all still too defined within the ‘artistic realm’ and so what I did is that upon realizing that ‘art’ for now is ‘just another sector of society’ and almost another cult/religion in itself, I tried to dissociate myself from such tag just because I had judged it as pretentious and ‘special,’ because that is how I came to judge myself or who/what I was going to ‘become’ as an individual if I hadn’t actually stopped myself from upgrading and accumulating all of this definitions onto the ‘artistic persona’ I was aiming at becoming.

I’m also glad that I’ve done that because then the whole ‘specialness’ and ‘uniqueness’ idea of myself that I had about me and that I believed that I should be ‘recognized for’ in the world has been mostly vanished. But after that, there’s  a ‘void’  left in terms of the relationship to art/creative expression as I mostly simply stopped it altogether and wanted to have– apparently – nothing to do with it, which involved me having finished also school in Arts where most of the time I was already knowing that I wasn’t going to become an ‘artist’ in the most traditional sense of the word. I learned about many points wherein artists have participated in ‘revolutionary movements’ but certainly it is no different to how any artist at the moment goes out and paints murals about Snowden, Manning and Assange to glorify them as heroes and shouts at the front of some parliamentary building demanding change… which is absolutely futile.

 

It was not enough

 

So the disillusionment with arts have to do with My Own expectations about it. How I thought that this was ‘the way’ to change the world and of course I didn’t follow through with ‘becoming an artist’ in the traditional sense which I then perceived as myself already ‘opting out’ of it all and seeing the sheer idea of dedicating myself to ‘create art’ as utterly selfish, without realizing how much I had desired ‘that’ to be my reality before. I’ve also been recently sharing about these points with people, explaining how I’m not proud of the decisions I made earlier on in my life and how I would not recommend anyone to study arts. I do however not say ‘don’t study arts’ but simply place my own expectations, my own experience, my decision to do something else and how such studies were a nice platform but not real tools to do what I am doing now. So when I find ‘artists’ defined as such, there’s an attempt to me to see if they also see the futility that I see in art as well – well this happened with one specific person in one specific moment.

A Spell to Ward off the Darkness is the title of a documentary/film that is mostly existential in nature and more like an ‘art film’ than documentary – even though I agree with Ben Russell, one of the directors, on how an objective documentary doesn’t really exist as there’s always a ‘frame’ that is defined by the one filming/directing, so from that perspective yes it’s not really ‘objective.’ However I did notice that this movie was entirely aimed at creating an emotional experience about it, with majestic landscapes, very little dialogue and loud black metal music at the end. I had the opportunity to ask a question to Ben after the screening and when I realized that my theory of how and why Black Metal emerged ( lol ) was nowhere near their intentions within this movie, and he veered off into something else I saw myself judging the individual as ‘typical artist’ that responds with quite a lot of rhetorical rubbish before getting to answer the question. It didn’t end up there, I wrote him back an email essentially asking him whether he considered art was meant to be a hammer with which to shape the world, to prove that we can change it. And then I got quite a bold and rather supportive reply from him which made me realize that I was being an ego myself trying to impose onto other artists/film makers My idea of what art should be, and how if their creations were merely ‘emotional’ then they were useless to what I’ve defined ‘the purpose’ of art.

I realize that after this brief exchange with him where I had certainly ‘demanded’ some answers from him about his intent on his film, he essentially told me that maybe this wasn’t a text/film for me, and that left it very clear how I was trying to make such film fit my standards of what art should be and be used for, instead of it being a creative process in itself.  I also see and realize that I’ve become a ‘victim’ of my own judgments, my own definitions and so I’ve generated a rigidity about what art was supposed to be, what art didn’t ‘fulfill’ within me and thus justify the reasons why I got to see art as entirely useless and self-centered activity. These are all judgments of course that should be seen for what they are, my own creation in order to become my own ‘word – redefiner’ – (see previous post on Rumsfeld) – in order to make of my decision to not further any artistic endeavors as the ‘right thing to do’ and so justify it with now ‘bashing’ artistic views that are not the same as ‘my own’ somehow so as to make my decision sound right and be righteous about my decision. This is not only the desire to be right about this, but also imposing the same mind-frames with which we have created religions and beliefs in the past, and we’re definitely here to stop such knowledge and information rigidity.

 

Also, the point here is not to go into the usual ‘extremes’ I would tend to go into when quitting/stopping/halting something wherein the entire love-hate relationship is generated. And this is quite the perfect example of how we create ‘hate’ – and even if in my case I wasn’t emotionally ‘hating’ art –  when our initial expectations about something/someone are not met and so, we become the epitome of ‘not wanting to know anything about’ that which we had previously set a high standard upon. This implies also the pattern of ‘blaming’ it, blaming apparently ‘art’ for not fulfilling or satisfying my initial intentions, without realizing that it was me that wanted to first make of art my ‘way out’ of ‘the system’ or a way to evade it, and when realizing I really can’t do that, then I simply believed that I had to ‘let go’ of it overall and completely –  without realizing that this is no different to just running away from a relationship that ‘didn’t work out’ without first taking the time to understand Why it didn’t work out or how and that means that through understanding the problem, we can also create solutions.

My overall attitude to this all, however, was within the mentality of not wanting to create anything but still be interested in looking art, admiring paintings or other artists and kind of playing the game of I like it but I shouldn’t like it – I mean, it is quite an unnecessary game that I create in my mind just because I had previously given too much value onto ‘art’ and what it ‘meant to me’ and how my entire life was supposed to be ‘intertwined’ around art, and how the moment I started dissociating myself from it it meant like a literal relationship breakup, when it should Not be like that at all. I mean if I had criticized this types of relationships between individuals, how hadn’t I seen that I’ve been living the exact same pattern with my relationship to ‘art’ and within that every other person that I related myself to from the art-vein of my life-experience? It doesn’t make sense as that implies I resist ‘it’/them which implies I hold a dear relationship of separation. So this is a till here no further.

 

I have to then point out the practicality of the decision here which I might have written out before but here it comes again so as to iron out any wrinkles on my side. It is no doubt that we all can create things, be expressive in any artistic endeavor and enjoy the process of creating it and sharing it with the world etc. – however at the moment in our world and reality, I do see it as rather impractical to be fully dedicated to the creation of art/plastic arts specifically when there’s so much to get done in this world in relation to education, to understanding who/what we are as human beings in our minds, how we direct in our lives, how we’ve created this world system and through understanding it all, be able to now establish and conduct solutions at an individual and collective level – and this is what I’ve decided to do. However I see that even if for me this is ‘clear’ there’s still a shadow of a doubt in relation to how people ask me ‘what am I doing’ and within this believing that I should be speaking about the many paintings or etchings or whatever I’ve created as a result of my work as ‘an artist’ in the formal/traditional sense of the word.  So I come upfront and explain how I’m not doing that and what I dedicate myself to, which sounds ‘interesting’ to most but I see that as long as I still hold on a judgment about this as me ‘having wasted my time in art school’ or ‘not developing myself as an artist’ then no matter who/what questions are asked, I’ll still experience that shadow of a doubt simply because I’ve judged it as a failed decision in my life.

 

The dictatorship of definitions

And this I might have shared before but it’s relevant to bring it up again as it’s been coming up many more times, as well as with what ‘I do’ with my life since I mostly work on the internet and there is currently no institutionalized career that defines what I do within this process at Desteni to be a point of support for myself and others in this world to walk this process which I do entirely see as vital and the most important thing to dedicate ourselves to in this world, which is a necessary step if we ever want everyone to genuinely enjoy an artistic lifestyle of creating/expressing in a world where hunger, wars, poverty, corruption, greed and a lousy economic system can be no more. All changes begin within self and so I have entirely decided to step aside from my artistic endeavors to dedicate myself to this process of Education, of being an example of this change myself, of supporting other people walking this process, of investigating economic and political solutions, of sharing/talking about these necessary changes at an individual and collective level, as that is how we can then all as human beings take self-responsibility for the world in shambles we have created – so that is what our artistry has been defined by, and I’m in no way proud of the world we’ve wrought here.

 

 

I have also said before how this process in itself is a self-creation process, hence I am my own work of art. However the ‘art’ definition here is obviously not the common one and that’s probably my inner dissonance which I am here to straighten up and redefine so that I stop separating myself from what I’ve defined as ‘artistic creation’ in the most traditional sense and what I ‘should’ be creating,  and rather integrate the principle of self-creation in whatever thought, word, deed as myself including the activities I’ve defined as merely ‘artistic’ such as ‘creative writing,’ shooting videos, painting pictures, taking pictures and lol even as I write this it is like oh shit that’s all just pointless drama-creations of me, who I was before. However that’s how I’ve limited them to be instead of seeing how visual art is quite a powerful way to provide/promote a message and a more digestible or ’friendly’ way to explain living principles through images, films to make them more palpable – whereas with just theory not everyone might be able to find it or understand it.

 

So, this is to see how it is about expanding myself to see the potential that exists in everything that is already here in this world. I would be my own worst enemy if I would define art or being an artist as something pointless or mere egotistic – it is nothing more and nothing less than a definition and judgment, instead of considering that as anything and every other job/profession in this world can be seen for what it is, for its potential, its redefinition to be self-supportive and to use it as a tool to provide ways to look at the world in a different manner and how to ‘eat it’ meaning how to live it, to understand it, to embrace it. That’s what I’ve also noticed is lacking within Art.

 

 

Art as a tool for change?

It’s relatively ‘easy’ to identify the patterns or the problems, and represent them – but driving the problem through to the solutions is mostly always missing. So that’s the kind of principles of self-creation that I’d like to contribute with in relation to art/art-theory if you want to call it that which is not limited to artists or people that study art, but to any human being that wants to become an instrument themselves, a tool with which to conduct and become the change that I realize is necessary in this world. I’ve identified the problems, so I’m working on the solutions and that is no physical ‘work of art’ but if I take on Sol Lewitt’s paragraphs of art in relation to making of the process itself, the structure, the plan of a work of art the ‘piece’ in itself or in other words “If the artist carries through his idea and makes it into visible form, then all the steps in the process are of importance. The idea itself, even if not made visual, is as much a work of art as any finished product. All intervening steps –scribbles, sketches, drawings, failed works, models, studies, thoughts, conversations– are of interest. Those that show the thought process of the artist are sometimes more interesting than the final product.”

 

…then my entire life is also then that: self-creation and supporting other people’s self-creative processes. Lol, am I theoretically justifying myself as an ‘artist’ here? Can be, but why not? I’ve read such blatant bullshit in art-theory that expanding art-theory to self-creation within principles of life in Equality, of Self-Responsibility, of Dignity, Integrity, producing solutions is quite the most meaningful thing we can do as human beings after centuries of emotional, material or conceptual glorification in art. Time for Life to be supported in everything that we do beginning at a thought level and that begins with ourselves, with becoming the master-pieces that I’ve seen and realized I sought to ‘create’ outside of myself or to use ‘art’ as some kind of alter-ego platform to glorify myself through the eyes of others. Self-honesty is required within art, understanding why one wants to create art and if the purpose, aim or objective and starting point of creation is actually aligned with a ‘higher purpose’ or goal which is then how I am seeing that art can be used to educate people, to wake people up, to provide new understandings and ways to understand, behave and co-exist  in the world – but that still has to be lived by and applied by each one of us first as first ‘test-runs’ in this process.

 

I realize there’s really ‘nothing’ that can ‘change you’ as that would then be the idea of this ‘magic red pill’ that you simply take it and understand everything about the Matrix and reality, the mind, who we are as our mind, the world-systems we’ve governed ourselves by, etc. So, in that sense what we can all do is become the example of what it is to walk such process, to provide and produce educational materials/writings/videos or whichever ‘tool’ we can use to support others in the inevitable process that is here as our process of realizing who we really are as life. Easily said, a whole other story to understand it as to what it in fact implies.

 

I’ll continue with walking Self-Forgiveness on specific points mentioned here, as well as the Self Corrective Statements to redirect my relationship formed with art/artistic creation and artists themselves so as to no longer limit myself and others through my own definitions of art or ‘what art should be’ and instead focus on my own process of self-creation and the endeavor I’ve taken on to be that point of support for others as well, a birthing-as-life supporter which is what I in fact really wanted to do since I can remember. I can use all tools available in this world for this purpose without limiting myself within it and that’s also the process of expansion here that is necessary for me to clarify and structure as well.

 

” Economics is not only a money making principle. It can be a way of production to fulfill the demands of people all over the world. Capital is human kind’s ability in work, not just money. Thus economics includes the creativity of people. Creativity equals Capital” – Joseph Beuys

 

 

Fuck Pollock, He's Done it All 05

Fuck it, Pollock has done it all  – 2005

 

Watch:

 

To learn more about the mind and how we can unleash our creative powers by integrating new living principles, check out:


322. Deconstructing the Root of All Evil

The dissolution of Power as Inequality and Greed will be done through Education, this is the first step and pivotal point to set the foundation for change in our world system, and this process has to be differentiated from any previous attempts to do so with no success, since the intellectualization of humanity only set moral codes for the Belief in Knowledge as a means to progress and better the living conditions in our society; but money was forgotten along the way of such ‘evolution’ that was only available for some, and an intellectual elitism is created from the restricted  access to such education, which has been a constant variable that determines humanity’s well being according to countries/ culture/ race, wherein only the ruling elite or religious authorities get the education they require according to the role and position they would become in society,which perpetuated the hierarchical system we’re existing in, proving that Education as the basic aspect toward creating an Equal society has not been considered at all,  until now.

 

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS

 

 

Problem                                                              

For Equality to Exist, the dissolution of this hierarchical system must take place:

“Self Interest and Greed have to be removed from every participant in this world scheme. How? Mandatory immunization?”

A reply to Kirill Nenartovich at Quora 

Greed as a desire for more is intertwined with and as the ‘nature’ we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and exist as in our mind. Within the mind we always seek to earn more, have more and continue seeking for more after one has enough – however this ‘Moreness’ is the result of giving value to things on a monetary basis and on an experience basis, which means that we’ve linked consumption with a feeling of satisfaction, completion, wholeness which is a temporary energetic fix as an Experience that we learn to continually seek and cultivate as an aspect of our identity, the ‘who we are.’

If we were in fact or genuinely only physical beings without having a desire for such experience, we would have not created the system we currently have where we transformed money as the representation of our desire for more, the accumulation of power as a means for security, more than a mere tool for trading and supporting ourselves to obtain the necessary means we require to live – this means that we accepted our desires for power to be equated to our own creation as what money is and has become, the ‘key’ to obtain virtually anything we want that we’ve made salable through our magical powers to convert everything into a commodity. This power over matter is what became the modus vivendi of the economic man that existed even before Adam Smith –again, theories and people are just points of reference wherein we tried to understand what the human mind was in fact existing-as all along, with no conclusive result which is measurable in our world of such problem being solved.

When we accepted this ability to obtain, consume, hoard, store as ‘wealth,’ as a vantage and superior ability/position when compared to others, we accepted a system originally created for trade and mutual benefit to become a legal mechanism for control and legitimization of power in itself as a recognized form of order and authority. This is to give context as to why and how people  have integrated this ‘ability to have more’ as part of our ‘instincts’ which is not really an ‘instinct’ but a mechanism with which we could justify the experience one has when having more power than others/ having control over others and develop concepts to justify the experience as a ‘good feeling,’ such as your usual American dribble of freedom, democracy, individualism and pursuit of happiness, while in fact it was only positive experience, a mind association that became a facade imposed onto an actual evil: supporting a system wherein a minority could obtain and rejoice in such ‘moreness’ and ‘power’ by all legal means and a minority could remain stuck, tied and bound to a lesser position in economic, political and social terms, wherein lacking money means lack of education and decision making ability or participation in the system, which equates you to being a slave in a lower-to-middle class environment with no say upon the decisions that our representatives make other than voting on every electoral term, holding the belief that things ‘will change’ this time, which is even hard to write out and not realize to what extent we have fooled each other in our so-called democracy at the moment.

So, this is the set up in which we are born into and grow up and live in, where the belief that having more will make you better, more powerful, wiser, have the greatest quality living you want, all the luxuries, the American dream as promoted during the 1930’s and still ongoing with even harsher and more radical means to instill desires at a higher potency of course, since that’s what progress is all about: making it more comfortable to remain as a ‘Walking Desire’ that’s never fulfilled than becoming an empowered individual that can turn around the tables and question such ‘pursuit of happiness.’

As children, we get imbued within this context wherein you see the possibility of having a ‘rich man’s lifestyle’ with all the power, all the money, the luxury and comfort that you see on magazines, on TV and wish to have ‘the same as them,’ to feel special and important, unique. This becomes a general fixation by mere Awareness of what is possible in your society – because others have it, then it Must be possible for me as well – yet at the same time, being aware of the opposite extreme of ending up homeless, going from shelter to shelter, eating scraps and surfing through garbage containers to sell some aluminum cans to make it through the day. Obviously, one fears ending up in that ‘bad experience’ and avoid it at all cost, but we don’t question it, we just fear it, we fear ending up in the street and being that man that you see is eating someone else’s leftovers – or even worse, having to steal to make some money and then ending up caught in the desire for more as well, facing jail or any other punishment for not having enough to live, which should be considered a crime against authorities, not the ‘robber.’ 

Fearing lack is what drives the desire for power. And obviously, because we’ve made such Lack acceptable, this is what sets the foundation for every single person to consider that we have to do ‘all we can’ to be well prepared to ‘make it in the world.’ Children then become these little troopers that must ‘make it through’ and ‘strive’ for their lives against others to get to the highest position, which will be seen as ‘successful,’ instead of seeing it as the actual covered-up abuse and violation of another’s right to have the same abilities and capacities as well, which denotes  how the system has been set up where some are ought to win and some lose by default.

 

As we grow up, we adopt our parental fears of lacking money, ending up with nothing and ‘being a nobody,’ which becomes then an unconscious drive to always succeed, to always win, to not be left behind, to always ‘want more’ and become the wealthiest most powerful one, because it is an ‘available’ position within the system – yet, we are never told it is  actually impossible for every single person to get to such position, and how it is in essence a controlled rat race wherein the winning-prize is in fact never available for all. But, we keep ourselves in the race no matter what, because we don’t know anything better and we accept ‘the fact’ hat life is a struggle’ and we have to enter the competition, or our ‘drive to succeed’ or our ‘drive to be happy in life,’ but in fact it is fueled by Fear of ending up or remaining in the exact opposite side. We never questioned poverty, we just feared it and have done everything possible to teach our children to do the same, to look away from the man on the street and immediately make them think of something ‘positive’ to avoid them questioning that man’s poverty and condition. This is how we have Created the desire for more: fear of survival, fear of poverty and ultimately fearing death. How bizarre it is that our entire lives that we believe are being driven by genuine desires to be happy and free are in fact driven by fear of lack and death.

One really does not require theory to realize these basic mechanisms that are more empirical investigations from what is Currently existing as humanity representing the byproduct and accumulation of our history, wherein reading Das Kapital becomes only a reference as any other of multiple theories  and attempts to create a ‘more equal world’ that de jure sounded great, but de facto were never placed into application due to human nature being neglected as the actual source of the problem in our reality.

 

Solution                                                              

Education in an Equal Money System has the goal of giving each individual the support to discover their true passion and abilities, achieve a comprehensive understanding of how the world works and how to support life, and develop healthy relationships with themselves, others, and the world while playing an important part in maintaining a system that gives everyone the best Life possible on Earth. And – unlike in the current system – everyone will be Equally included in receiving such Support.

http://equalmoney.org/wiki/Education

 

The new education for a new world requires a complete overhaul of every basic meaning we have tainted our words with, this is clearly seen the moment that even our ‘appreciation’ toward reality and others implies a value imposed onto something/someone in means of creating a special bond to it, when in fact, such bond or appreciation only exists at a mind level in accordance to the notion of money as power that we have embedded within our money consciousness at the moment, which is not an equality relationship, but an unequal relationship driven by basic survival mechanisms of The Mind to obtain energy: fear and desire.

This is the first step required to understand Equal Money as well, through first educating ourselves as individuals, as parents specifically wherein Equality is realized not only as a quality of how we relate to each other, but as a realization of who we are as life itself that we can begin focusing on cultivating and developing this awareness to our children from the moment of conception and growth in the mother’s womb. This is a never before released educational program (See Parenting – Perfecting the Human Race) that has been launched this year and that we are already implementing and testing out for the first time in humanity. This will ensure that the new child is able to integrate the living understanding of ourselves as life in Equality and use words as a means to communicate, embody and live such principled realization according to the input that parents will represent as an example, as well as creating the necessary changes and environmental conditions in which the child will grow up in.

 

Obviously this will be a process of many years to create this definitive transition, but we have to begin somewhere and it is now that we are currently educating parents, or to-be parents to understand the importance of words, physical communication, and being an example of what it is to live by the principle of equality as ourselves. It would be far too lengthy to explain why, how, when, who in a simple answer here, the basic material has been applied by several people for around 6 years now demonstrating conclusive results in our ability to become self directive beings that, through understanding the mechanisms of the mind and its relationship, effects and consequences upon the physical body and this physical reality, we are able to realize what this ‘desire for more’ in fact means as an energetic-based survival mechanism of the mind, and how such ‘drive’ is the current ‘drive’ of our entire mind system based in hierarchy and polarization as a basic framework of lack and abundance wherein the individual is motivated to succeed, to have more, and seek for more through fear, becoming a solid and reliable battery for a system that only gives enough light – understood as comfort, benefits, luxuries, power – to those on the top.

So, through these Educational Programs, a child can grow up with a living understanding  – by the living example that the parents must become – that one can have sufficient to eat, to live well, to have the necessary means to have a stable family environment, education, healthcare, recreational activities, leisure, conviviality, and a general physical well being   in what we currently see is the standard of a  ‘comfortable and healthy lifestyle,’ which is currently only available for some. This will ensure the integration of a new basic BIOS or modus vivendi of the child, a constant, sound, reliable reality wherein there is no ‘fear of lack,’ scarcity, violence, abuse or having examples of poverty around to fear embodying in a future if not being a ‘good student’/ successful enough to get a proper job to ‘make a living’ in the system. That is the mindset of the past that we as individuals must contribute to eradicate within ourselves first and we must also pave the way at the same time.

 

This child in this environmental condition as a ‘default setting’ of what reality is and how everyone interacts with each other, will Not know/ will not integrate a perception and belief or Experience of what ‘having more’ implies, and will not know what ‘having less’ implies either; for him or her, the understanding that in order to maintain such harmony, stability  and functionality he/she has to contribute with their own work and attend to their responsibilities will be a natural thing, not a chore, not a duty, not a punishment that will seek a reward, or something they can pay another to do for them, or extort in a way to oblige others to do the work they don’t want to do – it will be a single acquisition, imprinting and integration of a physical directive principle to develop constructive habits that will ensure the child becomes an integral part of their environment where all individuals have equal rights and responsibilities, and adopts this as the only available and acceptable way of being and coexisting with others in society.  It is the same mechanism in which we have all adopted ideas of ‘having to succeed and fight against others to win’ but the other way around, and became ‘who we are’ and How we think, how we define ourselves, because that’s everything that we could see around us – family,school, media, other people in society.

Therefore there is a specific responsibility we all have within this, which is generating the necessary ways, means and conditions to first eradicate such polarization of power/lack and fear/ desire  from our reality to – slowly but surely -generate comfortable living conditions to every person through the establishment of policies like Equal Profit share are able to be implemented in our corporations and businesses alike, as well as generating jobs for everyone in activities that are currently side-viewed and not even considered ‘labor’ until now, which is regenerating the ecosystem, restoring and rehabilitating the environment we have abused, educating, constructing, developing new ways in which we can create a sustainable and ‘environmental friendly’ living conditions within the context of money no longer being a limitation, which is what we have denominated Equal Money Capitalism, a transitional process from the old world to the new world based on this economic, political and social reform that installs a basic principle in all aspects of our lives: Equality as Life.

There are Many dimensions to this in terms of all the aspects that must be aligned in order to create this, however it is certain that each individual has the capacity to contribute with their own lives to make it our reality.

 

Rewards                                                            

With this Education we deliberately integrate the living principle of equality within ourselves to always consider what is best for all, to give as one would like to receive, to cooperate with others to make of our reality a sustainable system, to honor nature as the life that it gives us, to enjoy a physical living expression that will no longer be taunted by ideals and images of ‘power’ and ‘wealth’ as we currently are taught to pursue in our family, schools and society, but instead follow living examples of what is possible when living is no longer only based on consumerism and a pursuit of happiness of a triumphant individualization through wealth and selective benefits, but instead based on the actual discovery of life that will be possible once out of our tunneled vision reality of fear and desires resulting on greed and hoarding as a synonym of happiness.

 

The cult of individualization will cease to exist as an external experience and instead, be lived as a constant well-being that exists when harmony between individuals is built in Self-Honesty as the realization of the value of Life that we all equally embody.

 

Greed and overconsumption will at last be understood and recognized as a mental condition that will be treated accordingly by specialists to align the self-interest patterns toward a common well being that will result in a sound living being that will learn how to coexist in an Equal basis with all other living species alike.

It is clear that the responsibility begins with educating ourselves and parents through providing this education, which we are already applying and living, as well as providing it for every person that is genuinely interested Stand Up and become a solution to create a world where life is valued as Life itself, as who we are in Equality.

 

 
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Matti (2)

Artwork by Matti Freeman

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289. Our Lives as Money-Making Machines

 

Did you chose your profession based on your vocation/preference to it or because of the amount of money you’d make out of it?  How will this change if everyone go the same profit no matter what job you have?

 

Recapitulating, we’re going word by word in a very basic definition of Capitalism to redefine it, explore it and see what each word means and how we are able to re-direct every aspect of this collective agreement into a Best for All system.

 

Capitalism is an economic system that is based on private ownership of capital goods and the means of production, and the creation of goods and services for profit.[1][2] Elements central to capitalism include capital accumulation,competitive markets, and a price system.[3]

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitalism

 

Continuing from:

For context on redefining capitalism, read: Day 180: The Word ‘Capitalism’ in ‘Equal Money Capitalism Redefined

 

 

Services:  

 

Services: Intangible products such as accounting, banking, cleaning, consultancy, education, insurance, expertise, medical treatment, or transportation.

Sometimes services are difficult to identify because they are closely associated with a good; such as the combination of a diagnosis with the administration of a medicine. No transfer of possession or ownership takes place when services are sold, and they cannot be stored or transported, are instantly perishable, and  come into existence at the time they are bought and consumed.

Read more: http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/services.html#ixzz2JjU16q2w

 

 

What has become of Social Reciprocity?

What’s interesting about ‘Services’ is that it is in fact the very human component of our economy that makes everything function in our society, it is the ‘life’ that requires producing and consuming the goods and services that are entailed within the definition of ‘living’ within this world, which is implying maintaining our environment, our body and the relationships with one another in a mint condition.

Current services we have range from processing data to cleaning,  translating, accountancy, security, body hair removal, dental hygienist, hospitality industry, real state, sex services, performing arts,  social work, transportation, customer service, plumbing, coroners, diplomacy, lawyers, janitors, childcare, catering and the public utility ones such a water, electricity, waste management, telecommunications, gas – all of this is what makes a society functional, however, many of these jobs/professions/activities currently are not paid equally, which implies that a janitor will make less money than the person providing a medical service – and this is where one considers the amount of money/time that a doctor spent on their studies to perform their job while seemingly a janitor only requires physical force to do his/her job. However, it is quite obvious that both are equally important, since both are required for a functional living condition. A doctor would not be able to perform a surgery in an untidy place, and that would make his job impossible without having the basic hygiene in place.

 

 

Where’s the ‘natural vocation’ to perform a service?

There’s also been a creation of needs that lead to the creation of services has been a result of existing in a debt-economy, wherein people would always seek to create more money to pay their initial debt and as such, there is this constant need to ‘make money’ to be able to pay for basic necessities and interest rates from initial investment in learning/ acquiring licenses to perform any form of service as well as paying for basic needs and bills. People then would opt for providing services that would ‘make a lot of money’ wherein there’s no real human component of them being truly willing to perform such task as a point of expression, but rather only focusing on the final pay for it.  I am sure that not many people were born being willing to guard someone’s back and risking their lives to protect another person that is considered ‘important’ due to the value they represent as an asset themselves –all your elite people – however, that’s a way for the person to have a stable income and provide for their family, because maybe he/she had no opportunity to study to have an equal opportunity to become a lawyer, even if their skills would show that he/she would be good at it – this is what we mean by having forced ourselves into slavery, because we are performing jobs that we really do not want to do, but Have-to in order to get money.

 

 

No matter what service you give, you’ll be equally remunerated

This has reduced our lives to single commodities wherein the majority of the people ended up doing a certain job/profession that they really didn’t want to do. Some others might have ended up studying to become a doctor when their passion was to take care after peoples’ dogs, and some people that were managers in great corporations would have been happier if they could become a construction worker and physically work to build houses. Someone might prefer to provide cleaning services than working to study to become an accountant, because they’re really good at it and they find it non-stressful, they will get equal profit as the company’s accountant – is that fair? Yes, of course, both human beings have the same needs, live in the same world, using the same services.

 

One aspect that would amaze me from first world countries is knowing that gardeners, plumbers, landscapers, janitors were paid well enough to have the money to travel around with their entire family and have a fairly decent lifestyle, while me being in a ‘third world country,’ our gardener would mostly be part of a lower-rank in society, without any form of social security or working benefits that anyone should have by virtue of being existing within the same social system where basic rights to goods and services must be a recognition of the individual being part of this reality, as simple as that. Our gardener actually stopped being an electrician to dedicate himself to gardening as a full time job, and he was the best gardener in our entire neighborhood until the day he died – was he happier working with plants than electricity cables? Yes – would he make more money being a gardener than an electrician? Doubtful.

 

Charles Eisenstein in his book Sacred Economics identifies how services are social reciprocity that has been turned into a commodity in our current economic model, which is definitely so, as he mentions ‘we can always pay someone else to do it’ and within that, the consideration of a person’s contribution in a particular area in our reality becomes another replaceable job that exists within the realms of competitiveness and pricing. This leads to other psychological dysfunctions such as depression, aversion and hostility when a person is performing a job that they simply Do Not Want to perform.

 

 

Slave Labor will Not be a “Service”

There are several services right now that will have to cease to exist, because they have been the result of slavery, a tradition in itself that we’ve come to ‘adapt’ into our society without a second thought of what it is actually entailed in paying someone to clean Your house and take care of Your children.  This is a service that currently exists because many people have to work and have no time to take care of their own cleaning and children themselves. Even if they do have the time, having a maid becomes quite a comfortable situation for the person that requires the service. We all know and understand that girls are pushed to leave their homes – specially rural communities – in order to ‘come to the city and make big money to take back to their families,’ which implies an entire process of living away from their environment – leaving family, friends, communal activities of socialization behind – refraining themselves most of the times from finishing any form of proper education and mostly ending up making enough money to escape with their boyfriends, or go to ‘the other side’ to make more money in even more exploitative jobs, and this is all because of Money.

These housekeeping services are not regulated, people do not get social security guarantees for supporting in house-work, they are not regulated by proper contracts, which makes of these jobs rather unstable and insecure when it comes to having someone that is not of your family, not of  your immediate neighborhood living inside your house, being there as part of your family yet doing the chores that every single member of such family/house environment should perform. That’s common sense, but, we haven’t seen it in such a way because of the Power that money has to pay someone to do something we are mostly not educated to do as part of our Living Responsibility.

 

In this example, many factors must be considered such as people’s willingness to clean their houses, which will determine how big their houses will be, it will create a necessity for each inhabitant contributing to the cleaning and taking care of their own use of the house, rooms, dishes, distributing the gardening work, cooking, etc. Work distribution in itself is a way to cover these slave-jobs as maids that we currently have made ‘indispensable’ simply because of the known-fact of being able to pay someone to do it – plus, people won’t be working such a great amount of hours a day to not have the time to take care of the basic maintenance themselves. 

 

In terms of ‘maids,’  I am certain that if these girls in rural communities are equally supported with Education, they won’t be aspiring to ‘go to to the city to make a living there’ but will most likely remain in their communities and develop their lives providing a service/ working to support in their locality, there is no ‘natural disposition’ for any being to go and live in someone else’s house to support them with their own responsibilities, and from this perspective we can see what is a forced job and what isn’t.

 

 

People go to ‘the other side’ as we know mostly people from the south hemisphere of the Earth going up north to make more money, even if their job goes from taking care of children and cleaning houses in a rich family’s compound to working 8-12 hours a day in factory or crops, essentially work that has been diminished to ‘slave labor’ because of the same predisposition we have all created within our society, wherein physical/real/tough activities are Less remunerated than those jobs that are related to ‘intellectual’ work, which in fact should not go now to the ‘opposite’ and be less rewarded, but simply considered as equally valued and vital as the very physical work that is the one that makes such managing/ accounting possible in the first place.

 

So, there can be Many examples to see how we have separated ourselves from our drive to live and contribute to our communities in a way that is best for all, just because of having to subjugate this preference of ‘living skill’ to a real need/requirement for money/ making enough  to live, and this is where Equal Money Capitalism will generate a new way of looking at/considering jobs to provide services in our society, because everyone will be obtaining equal-profit from any position they have within any economic activity, and this is what will restore that initial sense of community and social reciprocity wherein people will be working to the best of their abilities, because there is no more competition or survival-conditions for them to become someone they don’t want to, which means we won’t have any more unsatisfied, depressed, tired looking people doing jobs that only generate money to then make more money and within this money-aim all sense of being alive is lost.

 

 

Serving Life in Equality 

 

Services will have to be restored to being the impetus of collaboration, cooperation and self-drive to contribute to that which benefits the whole, the community, wherein no job will be ‘less than’ others, wherein no more competition will drive people to hate each other to get a certain job or position, since there will be no restriction from a person opting to study to become a doctor than educating themselves to become a gardener, it will be a matter of seeing what they are really willing to contribute with and actually enjoy doing.

 

All services that contributed to support slavery or any other human denigration based on the need for money will cease to exist.This will imply no more child labor, prostitution, drug dealing, clandestine animal killings, home maids, hired-killers and various other deliberately abusive/harmful activities will cease to exist, because there will be no reason for them to exist in the first place if one will not be able to make ‘more profit’ by producing ‘cheap goods,’ because pricing will no longer be an aspect that represents ‘more profit’ but equal profit at all times. You won’t require to send your kids to work because they will have access to education and you as a parent will always have a job to provide for your family.

 

There will be no need for prostitution if people learn how to establish proper agreements/ relationships based on mutual support, not self interest or any other pushed convenience by societal-norms. Drug-dealing, which can be a 24 hour service, will cease to exist in a world where people won’t seek to get ‘high’ to ‘escape reality’ any longer, but instead learn how to Live and enjoy every waking day of our lives. The same with killing that is always the outcome of some mental pathology that will be prevented with proper education of children from the moment of inception until they are suited well enough to continue a living-pattern of dedicating one’s life to Live and honor each other as equals, where there will be no passion crimes, no vengeance acts to ‘kill someone’ and get away with murder.

Our lives will be fully dedicated to giving and receiving in Equality, which implies that there will be many transformations taking place in order to equalize the value of ourselves and what we do within the understanding of our interrelatedness as an economic organism where every single person must have equal right to exist and be equally supported to do so in the best way that we are able to. This all begins at the level of introspecting about our own life and finding out how we can re-direct/ redefine what we do and why we do it in a world wherein Money won’t be a goal in itself, but a means to learn how to live.

 

For further support read the Education and Labor pages in the Equal Money Wiki 

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273. Honoring Life and our Creative Force in Equality

When looking at what we have learned to express as and dedicated our lives to as humanity, it’s not been to honor each other as equals, we didn’t learn from our parents or at school how to do that – we instead learned how to compete, how to win, how to ‘do whatever it takes’ to become number one and feel proud about it. We never learned how to direct our every breath and every moment consideration to nurture ourselves, to become better living beings, to learn from others, to support others to strengthen ourselves and themselves, to cooperate and realize the true harmony that can create in this world. Unfortunately, we have only learned the opposite: to only care for ourselves, our loved ones, to respect authorities that abuse the majorities, to vote for that which will ensure My security and satisfaction while neglecting those that will be affected by such measures, to deposit our time and workforce to maintain a system wherein no one is living ‘happily ever after’ yet still believe that such thing is possible.

 

Continuing from:

Our civilization is like a fractal from the perspective that we can take any part of it, anywhere in the world, study the patterns as the forces involved in creating the patterns that such part/piece of reality is presenting and we will be able to realize the limitations, the abuse, the suffering, the negligence, the harm and also all the benefits and good living conditions generated through the use and abuse of such resources/space/people/living beings.

When I began writing about this point within looking at sacred art the same points exist: we learn to revere to a reality according to the pictures that we are then taught to venerate, to obey and we get certain belief systems imprinted wherein we are able to justify such abuses – like no one questions why people are still living in shacks made of cardboard and aluminum sheets in certain peripheral areas of our ‘great cities’ but billions are invested in freeways, constructions of the greatest quality, multi-billion projects for malls and other centers that ensure more money will be obtained through such investment – but, what kind of ‘profit’ can one make from building proper houses for people? If you are the company that builds such houses, you can earn great profit with the right connections, however the materials of such houses are most likely flimsy and of the lowest quality, why? Because we haven’t learned how to honor each other as equals and we give to another that which will cost us the least so we can earn the most. Haiti is still struggling to recover after 3 years of the Earthquake and the world keeps turning without any substantial support being given to people that have no basic sanitation/ toilettes/ running water and sewage which in itself is currently the cause of the cholera outbreaks that are becoming a chronic situation there.

It is impossible to not look at my comfortable position and ponder how on Earth one can feel ‘happy’ in this world while billions of people that are equals in essence to myself are going through hell every single day. And all of this is because we have learned to honor money and not life. We have learned to trust invisible gods to make a change instead of us taking the responsibility for our creation; we have learned to rather applaud the great civilized world of wonders, luxury, opulence and ‘divinity’ while turning a deliberate blind eye to the reality that we are neglecting in order to ensure that we ‘keep on dreaming’ and never look at the other side.

 

The point here is to realize one thing: in the end, everything that we are currently securing our lives with is a make believe system that is no longer sustainable, just as the gods and religions that are slowly but surely coming to pass as more young people realize the fallacy that it is to venerate gods and money that is destroying the Earth, and it’s not a power that god and money have in themselves, it is the way we are currently using Money which is the problem. And currently our lives are revealing their ‘real dark side’ in order for us to realize that we have really fucked up. We cannot continue venerating gods and money that is deliberately becoming the most lethal drug that we are all consuming on a daily basis, and we have to understand that such lethal drug is the mind and who we are as the mind is the one that has accepted and allowed any form of power in separation of ourselves, any form of symbol as ‘more’ than ourselves and any creative force place at the service of forging these very same symbols and structures determined to implant belief systems that have ruled humanity from the very beginning of our civilization.

This is also in conjunction when looking at human history, all continents and their prehistoric times wherein all that remains is all the archeological residues of civilizations and all the representations and ‘great works’ that were mostly dedicated to create this ‘divine’ idea of the human being, adoring gods and forces of nature outside of themselves, learning to consider the ‘greatest forces’ in this world as ‘bigger’ and ‘more powerful’ than ourselves, and in this abdicating all sense of reality when it comes to really looking at what it is that we are praying for/ venerating/ building, what type of values, what are we really creating a sense of respect for, what are we placing on pedestals and as such, also looking at everything that we are mostly neglecting and brushing aside as all our ‘backchat’ and secret mind transformed into the ‘ugliness’ of the world that we constantly feel the need to ‘spice up’ – it is unsustainable now to hide behind gods and good spirits since even drugs and alcohol are turning the ‘party’ into a nightmare and horror screening in real-time.

 

Within all of this it is just a reflection of everything that I could realize just by observing some ‘marvels’ of sacred art and the history that exists before us as humanity, and the thing is that throughout all of this time there has been no equal and one consideration of who we are as living beings toward each other. Proof of that is that we rather employed our work force to create gods and ‘precious items’ to make ourselves ‘more worthy’ than developing any form of Self-Honesty and consideration of what is best for every single living being in this world. There was non, and the fact that many people are Still venerating any god – either money or religious god – generates the point of abuse necessary to maintain this current system in place. Yes, you read properly: abuse required to maintain this current system in place.

 

In the Equal Money Capitalism we will practice the law of placing our creative forces at the service of Life itself, learning how to honor ourselves as each and every single cell that we have taken for granted, we will learn how to understand that no system can be a ‘living environment’ without ensuring that every single being is equally supported to have the necessary means and services/ resources to Live in dignity – because we will stop living as viruses within a system outdoing each other and being subsumed in mind-battles against each other, we will instead learn how to become the beings that we all desired to become, but ended up veering such twisted self idea toward a relationship of competition, dishonor and abuse because that’s currently the only way only a few can ‘win’ in the game.

The creations that will originate from such self-stability and real harmony will have nothing to do with artifacts that represent symbols of ‘moreness’ as the depiction of our personal deliriums within the beliefs of gods/ money/ power, we will instead learn how to put our creative efforts to create sustainable environments that finally consider the life that has been used/abused to currently maintain our deceptive self-images and money systems. A real honor toward oneself and each other will emerge and the expression of ourselves will be a one and equal reflection of that – that’s definitely an art/creativity that one can ‘look forward’ to – however such decision to do this must not be placed in a ‘long term future projection,’ and instead realize that we have to become it ourselves, today, by making a decision in every moment to be of life and not of the mind of gods, moneys and ‘power systems’ that have only served to abuse life.

That is certainly the purest breath of life that we can give to ourselves, to purify ourselves, to support and direct our every single cell to ensure our lives are honored at last and we burn down to ashes everything that was never meant to do just that.

 

So, this is a rebirth for Self-Expression, to never again idolize gods and money and instead learn how to honor our every single cell that enables us to breathe and exist and as such, direct our every day and existence to for once and for all implement a world system that will ensure no one/ no-thing  is ever again used as energy and work force to sustain/maintain beliefs systems of abuse such as religions and the monetary system that only benefits some. From this starting point of standing one and equal to every single part/particle in our reality, we can be sure that whatever we express/manifest from this living-statement of who we are as Life in Equality, we will learn what actual Self Expression is, which won’t be based on beauty and all these wonderful stories of divine powers and great victories,  but a real extension of a stability, a certainty, an honoring of ourselves as that which we are committing ourselves to live by and express as.

The meaning and purpose of life, is at all times Life in itself – hence we first learn how to Live: we create a world system that lays the foundation to enable such living expression @ www.equalmoney.org

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  • The Soul of Money series is the greatest sociological, psychological and economical education with a holistic perspective of this world systems, ourselves and the solutions to create a world in Equality.

265. Seeking for the Next Fix: a LIEfstyle

A key aspect that we use as an excuse, reason and justification to ‘evade reality’ is precisely the way in which we have accepted and allowed ourselves to shape reality as, which is through relationships of abuse and mutual neglect. It isn’t pretty and that is why we turn to love, light, spirituality, happiness, fulfillment, enjoyment which is mostly translated to drugs and spirituality or spiritual-entheogen trips that lead to the ultimate high that is quite difficult to let go as an experience, and it is quite fascinating how such Experience becomes a constant ‘thrill’ that is sought by individuals, revolving their entire lives around these moments wherein they can feel ‘more alive’ or ‘more connected to themselves’ and existing in this paradise like realm of their mind in a virtual reality formed through visions that are upgraded to the status of revelations and mythical encounters that one is apparently getting to as a ‘moreness’ of oneself.

 

So here I want to focus in the mechanisms that lead oneself to seek for this evasion of reality and justifying it with some sense of ‘spirituality,’ which has become another excuse to seek ‘peace and love’  – like in the 60’s – while adding the ‘transcendental’ aspect to make it seem more ‘evolved’ in nature, yet at the level of who we are as the mind, it’s exactly the same thing.

 

This constant seeking for the ‘good experience’ is precisely explained in the Quantum Systemization interview: Quantum Systemization – Mind Wallpaper System – Part 14 wherein this ‘feel good experiences’ are in essence covering up the actual reality that is existent as our inherent nature that we are constantly seeking to cover up/ sugar up and spice in order to hide from facing ourselves as our mind, our reality, our creation.

While listening to this interview, it became clear to answer the questions as to why we have always had in the back of our heads ‘all I want in life is to be happy’ and how we will do all that we can to justify our happiness thrill, claim that we are hurting/harming no one in order to remain seeking this personal blissful self-experience that in fact is stemming not from a benevolent truthful desire to become a better human being, but to evade reality, to ‘see more’ and eventually end up hooking only within the experience that we perceive as absolutely positive and nice with all the fluffy silky experiences in the mind. Well, what has been unknown so far within our human knowledge at the expense of what we are able to generate such marvelous self-experiences, and that is: at the expense of the human physical body – read the entire series to get more information on this, including:

155. Are we all Cannibals? « and a quote that sums it all up:

 

“Where I had within and throughout my Life, created who I am in my mind, and connected everything/everyone into and as my who I am in my Mind and so emerged into/as physicality reality through a Mind/as a Mind. Where, the processes of thinking/internal conversations emerged as how I would, within my Mind-Reality and the relationships I had formed within it – evolve it through thinking, and having internal conversations within myself and substantiate the Mind through/with energy/energy-experience as I make my internal alternate mind reality of actual physical reality ‘alive’. And so create an entire ILLUSION of what it means to live/be alive, not seeing, realising and understanding how for the Mind to exist, the Physical Body is sacrificed..” – Sunette Spies – Thought Designs – Part 2: DAY 154

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

So, before we get to the spirituality realm of justifications to seek for the positive, seek to get a constant experience of this ‘godhood’ through drugs and believe that everything is just fantastic “outside of our bodies” while seeking to connect with a higher force, let’s look at the reality conditions that I have summed up today from a group chat wherein we discussed all the entertainment and forms of distraction that we have used in order to not become politically active, which should in essence be an inherent living condition to our human-nature, meaning: we are social beings, we live in an organism, we Should care about all aspects that define and decide the way that we live and interact within this same ecosystem. Thus it should be already a matter of psychological dysfunction to think and believe that we should only look after our own interests while holding the constant backchat of ‘I don’t care about anyone else but me,’ which is the type of cancerous thinking that we end up wanting to run away from when we avoid realizing how we have created our reality through such constant and continuous thinking processes, which is us participating in the mind to create our reality: big problem.

 

Drugs are pervasive within all circles/castes in society: wealthy, ‘middle class’ and people living in extreme poverty, all use drugs alike. It should already be a matter of public health crisis to see this problem, why is it that no amount of apparent ‘well being’ can also mitigate the need to get high/ consume drugs. In fact, when having a lot of money, you get power-high and seek for further forms of entertainment that usually incorporate more ‘extreme’ activities as entertainment that usually entail more abuse that elevate the energetic ‘kick’ out of it. This is why people turn to for example, extreme sadist pornography/ snuff films, killing and torturing animals, ritualistic abuses and rites of passage that lead to an apparent ‘welcoming’ to a certain era/phase or place in a human’s life, absolutely gut revolting when considering to what extent we regard suffering as a form to prove oneself being ‘strong enough’ to make it in this world – Evolution, anyone?

 

Alcohol, drugs, sex, entertainment and its multiple hybrids and variations are always sought. Once again, here we are not looking at ‘why’ drugs are bad or good, but the root-cause of such pervasive desire to ‘escape from reality’ which I gathered from our group conversation:

poverty, lack of resources, wealth, uselessness, evading reality, freedom from the ‘hooks’ of the mind, feeling good, escaping from stress, fitting in, socializing, keeping awake, passing time, disinhibiting purposes, wild sex,  personal reward system, moment of distraction justified by not harming anyone, earning such heavenly moment through hard work, relaxation, getting a break from oneself, turning the tables, opposing the system, spiting society, being progressive, being liberal, being transgressive, open mindedness, spiritual purposes, self-connection, enlightenment, mitigating hunger, avoiding pain, boredom, anxiety, nervousness, hyperactivity, depression, looking for a thrill, wanting to ‘feel alive!’ and the list goes on….

 

what do all of these processes have in common? The mind. These are Not physical experiences craved by the physical body to exist, they are Mind experiences that we have believed ourselves to be/ become and seek to escape from, quite a conundrum to see how we have built our entire civilization based on this desire to ‘feel good’ wherein physical needs and requirements are neglected and mind-desires and obsessions are fueled and supported as an actual ‘living right,’ as proof of this,  it’s easier to see a TV and drugs in a poor family home than proper sewage and potable water systems, along with decent infrastructure and food – and by drugs I don’t only mean ‘hard drugs,’ but alcohol is part of the generic term that should be applied to alcohol as a social self-indulgent drug that has been made ‘mild’ due to the key factor it represents in the numbing and dumbing down of society –as well as the juicy profit – and believe that everyone is being ‘free to exert their right to drink,’ which is one of the main reasons why people want to get to their 18 or 21 years of age: to be legally able to be self-abusive and… vote, yes of course…

 

Social responsibility have been thrown out of the window because: monkey see, monkey do and through this, we are all taking ourselves down the plughole to a massive electric shock to ‘feel good’ and define that as enjoyment. Now, we have gotten hooked on self abuse through looking at such self-abuse all around us, because not giving proper support to all living beings is self abusive, not caring enough about life to create immediate solutions to live in dignity is deliberate self abuse and neglect, not giving a damn about all the resources in the Earth that we are consuming to build our ‘civilizations’ is self-abusive.

 

So we create our ‘windows of escapism’ from the nightmare and hell we all help build and recreate every single day that we define ‘who we are’ as the mind.  – Catch the drift?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become so addicted and hooked on to my own thoughts, feelings and emotions that I have sought to get More of such energetic experiences, regardless of the amount of abuse it entails –

I realize that the outflows we are facing as humanity is our consequence for having followed through with energy and the mind while neglecting physical reality as who I really am and must honor in Equality and I see that everything that I have ever participated in as the mind is the Lie that we have used to consume the Life that we are and embody, and as such have used the same mind to formulate reasons, excuses and justifications to ‘keep our party alive,’ pretending one can genuinely ‘forget’ about something and not have it all come back 10 times fold once the high is gone.

 

I commit myself to explain and properly share how it is that through one’s own self-addiction to the mind, we have created this current world of vanity and egoism that only seeks to ‘feel good’ and believe that ‘no one is being harmed through it,’ which is quite the ultimate declaration of the cells that compound the cancer as the desire for more, as an ‘overgrowth’ that must be brought to justice by our own hand: we educate ourselves, we support people to wake up and the decision must be made by self as an actual irrevocable decision to never again support the same abusive system that we have become as the externalization of the relationship between the mind and the physical body.

 

I commit myself to live the realization that it is only through equal and one support that we can stop seeking to ‘escape from reality’ and instead look forward to live and create a real living-environment where getting high becomes a real thing of the past.

 

We will continue with this in the next post – suggest you review the long list and spot where and how you are trying to escape your reality and what do you use to do so.

 

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What is it that we Like so much about our Reality that we will not Move ourselves to Change?


238. I KNOW I Can

 

‘You KNOW You Can’ – Yes, but from Knowing to Doing there is Quite a Road to actually Walk.

Through repetition according to how other define us, we end up believing that ‘we are’ in fact that which we hear others say about ourselves. I have shared how people formed this opinion of me being ‘intelligent and responsible’ and I simply, as mind/ consciousness system,’ decided to direct my life in a way wherein I would not have to be/ act such role any longer- why? Because I had gotten ‘sick of it’ as if such things that I had considered as ‘normal traits’ within me were suddenly more of a course than a gift of sorts. Why? Because of the obvious disparity it created. I could not fathom why someone had to struggle a lot through school and I hadn’t, and they would study ‘a lot’ and still get the minimum grade. While I could spend hours just watching TV, leaving the studies for 12:00 am for my test the next morning. This became a habit since junior high school. Then it later on became a single assumption ‘I don’t have to study/ I don’t have to do that, I simply Know that I can do it’ – and I could, because I realized that one required to ‘pay attention’ to the class and with that you would get most of what you required to get a good grade – that’s where my focus and attention was, but not so much any more in studying in itself – again the memory point.

 

I do remember that whenever I was more apprehensive about school, which was around the first years of elementary school, I would be so nervous and anxious about my exams, I would do multiple questionnaires to aid me to study all the material for exams, writing supported me a lot to integrate the knowledge this way, even doing the so call ‘cheating little papers’ you know where you place potential answers for your exams and so forth, even just by having done those, I would not actually require to take them out during the exam, because writing had supported with me integrating the information for the moment. This is a cool point to consider and that I suggest when working with knowledge and information as required within school: write down with pen and paper what you see are the main points, like summing up the basic points that you require to learn. It assists with also being able to identify the core points of a writing and synthesize it with key words – even doing mind maps/ concept maps became another way of studying, which was then done as normal school work – not precisely ‘exam task’ – and so, I could just read through the mind map before exam and get the basics, pass well and the job was done.

 

My mother would tell me: you shouldn’t worry about the exams, only those that Do Not Know should worryYou Know You Can. And so that created quite a sense of confidence within me, like hey silly me, yes I can, why am I worrying then? And I mean, obviously this is My own point and my own fuckup – mother is not really the cause here – but I developed this ‘over confidence’ about the point, because as the title of the blog says ‘I Know’ and it became like a Self-Faith as me being capable of Doing things, even mind projecting myself already getting it all done and having no problem at all and having the greatest grades. Well, it did happen this way – among with the regular school work that I would definitely do as an extension of myself, meaning to me doing homework was like going to the toilet after you’ve eaten= there is no separation from taking knowledge and then working on it as your homework. Of course the level of integration varied from information to information according to the definitions I had given myself to with regards to certain subjects – like digging more subjects like English, Spanish, History, Social Sciences than Physics or Math – however I would pull out the show without a problem.

 

The ‘problem’ then came up when, within this over-confidence – I started following the law of the least effort, not giving it my ‘all’ in school – and this I have written about a lot in terms of my career which for other reasons I simply ‘walked through to get it done – but the situation is how this ‘I Know I Can’ became an ego entity speaking to itself wherein no actual push, no actual will to develop oneself further was instigated from my side, because I believe that I was ‘cool’ with what I had as a so called skill or ability, essentially me reducing myself to this ‘ability/ skill’ and Con.Forming to it, like a form of mediocrity in fact – no wonder I had judged people as ‘mediocre’ because I have stepped into it myself.

 

So this is a blow for the ‘intellectual ego’ because as much as I thought I was Not ‘intelligent’ as people would see or perceive me to be, I ended up somehow believing it was real and that I was just trying to be modest or something, which is all just a plain mindfuck personality-system playing hot and cold from pole to pole within one single self-definition, without realizing that Life/ Living is Not a Knowing, it is a Doing. And from ‘knowing’ that one can be good at something, that one can excel, that one can pull out a certain project in an absolute ‘flawless’ manner to the actual Doing of it, here’s a Long way to actually physically walk.

 

This is thus the mind-superiority as an over-confident ego that will only have ‘everything under control/ everything planned’ it’s almost like ‘I got it all wrapped up under my sleeve’ as a magic trick where no actual Doing is seen. This is what happens the moment I came to live the definition of ‘I know that I can’ without taking that mind abstraction to a physical level of actually Doing it.

 

And so the only reason why we can give ourselves this ‘time’ to only ‘think about things’ and not doing it, is because we’re not in a survival mode or actually having our lives depending on actually Moving ourselves to do something, regardless of how ‘master/ good’ or ‘bad’ you see yourself within a task. It is absolutely irrelevant to know ‘who you are’ without placing that beingness into application, it is actually quite a spiteful mode to live in wherein we ‘know our potential’ but follow the law of the least effort, just because – again – our lives do not depend on it, or so we believe.

 

This is a proof of how it is only through fear and threats that we stop assuming ‘who we are’ and actually walk the road to see what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become when creating this pedestal for ourselves as our minds while placing the least dedication and walking our lives in a half assed manner that only lead us to feel further ‘fucked up’ within it all, because we KNOW what we are doing, but we’re not doing anything to change the point, to direct ourselves – and this is what I can spot as the money-laziness which permeates our lives, wherein within this apathetic view upon reality we believe that ‘there’s nothing worth continuing living for, everything is fucked’ – but, we haven’t realized that such ‘fuckedupness’ is our own manifested consequence to live this law of the least effort and living a mediocre way of existing that only perpetuates the old ways in which we have lived thus far, which is certainly not honoring ourselves and each other as Life, but only mimicking survival mechanisms to ‘get by’ within this world and have no intention at all for changing our own situation within this, nor the greater picture of the world system for that matter.

 

So this is part of what I will be walking in relation to the ‘Intelligent Character’ as Self Definition, stemming from the ‘greater branch’ that I’ve been walking as the Elitist Character, because there would be no ‘intelligent character’ in place if I didn’t have the money to live in an elitist way, which is having money to live in dignity and have basic services and education, which is something that the majority in this world Don’t Have – that already places into question any form of ‘human intelligence’ that has not come up with any ‘bright idea’ to stop our limited accepted and allowed world-condition, that is until now.

 

Support the Equal Money System to understand then how we don’t require to be Nobel-Prize winners to come up with the brightest most revolutionary way to change this world system and as such, change the way we live life on Earth forever, an actual Doing stemming from a practical living consideration.

 

“the Problem that Exist, where the Platform is Infused with Religious Doctrine throughout Childhood, and all the Conclusions that the Mind will Jump to when giving Value to Experiences where the Person would Regard the Experience as ‘Evidence’ that their ‘Knowledge’ is in fact ‘True’. And Obviously, these Experiences will be Repeated, because – the Mind will Search out, That which the Individual Seek to Prove to itself. And so, Falling in the Trap of the ‘Assumption God’, becomes a very simple thing as Evidenced by multiple groups on Earth with Very Diverse Views, all Claiming to have Evidence and Experience “that their Version of God, is the True God”.” – Bernard Poolman *

 

This explanation is describing essentially our self-religion where the self as the mind believes everything we talk ourselves into for an extended period of time, it is thus trusting our own ‘god’ that works upon energetic experiences but, little is ever  actually taken into application. It is no different to when you are high and imagine these beautiful ideas, creations, plans and you think you got it all ‘sorted out’ in your mind, but, when you hit the ground and realize the actual steps to do it, one simply realizes that it’s easy to dream on, and that there is a definitive distance from this imagination/ projection point to the actual doing. After all assuming that ‘we know’ is how gods are created, and look at where we have lead ourselves within this ‘god Idea’ of self – to the verge of destruction because no actual Self-Responsibility is taken.

 

Thus, committing egocide as this knowledgeable character is certainly going to be a point to reveal the assumptions of having these ‘qualities’ that were never in fact ‘Real’ as it all only existed as consciousness/ mind ego that would allow myself to get some desired results in a very limited system which is our current schooling system, and dared to accept and allow myself to call that ‘intelligence’ or even ‘responsibility’ for that matter, since I was absolutely unaware of the actual responsibility we hold toward the creation of this entire world, as well as the actual IntelliSense that would be required to become a living being that considers and Does what is best for all, not just creates a nice concept about it to then ‘live it out later’ or something like that.

 

This is thus a preventive point of support to educate children and ourselves to stop holding ourselves in ‘higher ranks’ for the lies that we’ve been told about who we are, and instead live and apply it, walking the talk is the greatest gift one can give to oneself, to learn and establish an actual self trust that is not based on assumptions, self-beliefs and ego props, but simple self-applied verification of what we are in fact capable of, and within this stop this intellectual form of ‘positive thinking’ that only feeds the who we Believe ourselves to be, but we haven’t lived as an actuality of who we are in every moment and aspect of our lives – not only ‘schooling’ systems and such.

 

Is the ‘I Know’ then quite a spiteful point to live as or even speak? I have certainly experienced that  – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to voice out or think the phrase ‘I Know’ as a single statement of being aware of what I am doing, but not actually DOING anything to change it, which reveals to what extent we are protected by our own minds to face the consequences of our ‘knowing’ while being protected also by the money that allows us to us to remain within this ‘knowing’ phase but doing nothing to actually direct ourselves fully in our world and reality. 

I commit myself to walk this point of knowing vs. doing not as an antagonist situation, but a single realization that we have valued ‘who we are’ as our minds and within this neglected the reality of ourselves to an actual Doing and Living – which is also why it is suggested to consider who we would be in a dire situation of actually having nothing to eat or nowhere to stay and dare to say ‘yes I know’ and not do anything at all to change one’s condition. Thus, the money-mattress point is something that must be debunked in order to, as the lady in the Giving Up Interview says ‘Place some fire under our asses’ and actually give the totality of ourselves, our full physical ability and capability to everything that we do and dedicate ourselves to learn how to live on a daily basis, because others are in fact waiting for us to decide to live to establish a supportive system for all in this world that is our physical consequence and responsibility.

 

This will continue.

 

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192. The Reasoning behind Procrastination

The end of the character – the beginning of new points.

Conclusions and new beginnings within the Procrastination Character

 

So, here is a consideration. Procrastination and various realizations were walked while working on this series of blogs – however I realize that it is useless unless I walk it, and that’s a general consideration with all of our writings within Self Forgiveness, that it is not a magic wand, it is actually getting to know the pattern in such detail that we can only continue fooling ourselves to Not live out the corrections we’ve specified here.

Another aspect I can see is how Self Forgiveness is not about now pumping our ‘spirits’ and creating a willingness to do so based on energy as a positive-attitude toward it, as that can eventually down-grade to the downhill experience toward it – thus I realize that every point of correction that I walk must be an actual integration of the correction as a habit, as a pattern that I can stand as without any ‘effort’ or ‘impetus’ stemming with an energetic surge to ‘do it’ which can downfall in the ‘not wanting to do it’ and within that, we could only get back to our drawing board to see, okay, what have I missed?

In my case, I’ve realized that there are Many points that opened up with this character, since it’s been virtually a progressive point that I left behind/ delbierately postponed in looking at the ‘postponement character’ as I’ve explained which entails that there is an aspect that I was Not willing to face within myself. And this is where I lead myself to, the character extraction of postponement/procrastination inevitably leads me to see what is it in fact that I am resisting to look at, what am I exactly doing to myself, why am I doing this even if I KNOW/ knew all the way that it is not what I had planned/ meant to do.

Now, looking into these aspects that I was not willing to open up is not a ‘piece of cake’ because

1. I was only thinking too much about it but not looking into myself and writing about it, applying self forgiveness and self corrective application to make sense of myself, which is the point that cannot be side-viewed when we see ourselves stepping into this wobbly ground wherein we Believe that we are ‘superior to our mind’ and we can just figure it out/ sort out the point in our minds without actually walking it/ writing it/ applying the corrections.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think too much about what I had to do without actually assisting and supporting me to write the point out and follow through it within a practical application of self-forgiveness, because I wanted to ‘sort it out’ myself within the belief that I could just ‘stop it’ in one moment and be through it without any further hesitation, which is an indication of ego trying to ‘sort it out in one go’ without realizing that the moment that a point has not been directed in a long time and it is still ‘here’ as a point that has not been moved, it requires immediate attention and direction in order to support myself, as I see and realize that trying to ‘make up my mind’ about it is really covering up/ disguising/ make-up excuses and justifications for not doing something and further procrastinating it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I can easily ‘sort out’ a point within my mind, which has been going on for an extended period of time – I stop and I breathe – I flag point immediately this ‘brushing off’ attitude wherein I realize that I must take the point ‘by the horns’ so to speak, in order to not further grow the ‘calamity’ and as such, take he responsibility of my own inactions/ actions to investigate what is going on with me, why am I simply not directing myself effectively within one point in my reality, what are the thoughts, the experiences, the backchat behind it? As I see and realize that the more it s procrastinated the more it will be fueled by a negative experience toward it, eventually building it as a fortress that I will simply have to debunk/ deconstruct anyways as there is no-way I can escape from my responsibility, no matter what.

 

I commit myself to assist and support me to immediately look at a point that I’ve been deliberately ‘leaving around’ to no look at it/ not face the point, as I see and realize that this is just part of the resistances that I have to get to know how I created and why have I simply not looked into them, which is an indication of me having to look at myself and walk the necessary process of self correction without further procrastination.

 

2. I was trying to ‘make sense’ of my procrastination through a positive-perspective toward it, such as what I’ve explained within the previous points wherein I would place a positive-experience or deemed ‘positive task’ to do instead of doing this particular task/ project without comparing it to other tasks in my reality – within this,  not wanting to actually look at what was in fact the resistance to work on this document, what was it all about and how I could practically ‘do something about it’ which is obviously first: getting to know myself and the entire ‘case’ I made out of this project/ writing that I have to do and then actually walking the correction .

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and justify/ excuse and most importantly validate my procrastination based on having ‘other tasks to do’ that I have deemed as ‘more important’ and within this excuse, wanting to justify my deliberate neglect toward other tasks in my reality that I see and realize will ‘not go away’ and that I have to actually walk through them and direct myself to take responsibility for them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to justify a resistance experienced toward writing based on having ‘better things to do’ and within this always making it ‘alright’ in my mind to not get to the task at hand, which is the easy-positive thinking that I would indulge in to always remain with a ‘positive score’ within me, even if I knew that I was not properly giving direction and directing myself toward all things that I have to do/ work on in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to validate, excuse and justify a point of procrastination with ‘better things to do/ more valuable things/ more important things in my reality’  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this value-schemes are part of my own creation in order to relegate the task that is part of my professional career to a ‘second point’ in my reality, without considering that it is a priority and it is in fact as important as any other task that I have committed myself to within the principle of assisting and supporting myself within this process in my reality and within the network of support that we represent and are.

 

I commit myself to give myself direction in an equal basis/ manner to all points in my reality and within this, stopping the value-scheme toward tasks wherein there are no ‘less important’ tasks or ‘more important’ tasks – but remain equal and consistent within my application in all aspects of my reality.

 

3. I wasn’t willing to recognize that what is “natural” to us is all aspects that lead us to self-sabotage and always create a point of conflict to not be able to function properly in our lives, and this is just because of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become based on  the mind and trying to remain within a ‘winning situation’ at all times while no action is being taken upon All aspects of who we are within our reality – among other various variables that are yet to be explored.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and make sense to why I was procrastinating with excuses and validations as previously mentioned, without actually investigating what is it that is actually leading me to self-sabotage, what is it that I am in fact not looking at/ identifying within me to give myself proper direction within this point.

 

When and as I see myself facing a ‘wall’ within looking at the reason/ processing behind an aspect of my reality that I am not able to ‘pinpoint’ as to why I am not moving within it – I stop and I breathe – I first of all ask myself: what am I preventing me to see within myself that is leading me to deliberately sabotage myself and my decisions? And if there is no clear answer, then I assist and support myself with asking questions to others that are also walking this process as us Destonians are able to always give ourselves a perspective that we would have most likely not considered/ not being willing to look at, which is how within the dimension of self-support must at all times be considered in order to not just try and ‘figure it all out’ ourselves – as outlined in point number 1 – and instead, accept and allow the support that is available in gratefulness.

 

I commit myself to ask for support and assistance and allow myself to get further perspectives when facing a point that I cannot simply ‘make sense of’ by only writing about it and not really understanding ‘why’ we are doing things to ourselves, as we can be missing out an important aspect that we might not be looking at because of and due to the extent we have become the pattern in itself, which is how and why buddying/ assistance and support at Desteni is all about: allowing ourselves to be supported by others within the principle of us being living the point of supporting ourselves unconditionally as well.

 

4. Another point I realized is how one underlying aspect of this all is wanting to ‘serve others/ be there as support for others’ and missing out this basic point of self support for Myself. This is what I will begin with on the following posts to come, to see where this personality of the helper/ good person/ supportive person has lead me to self compromise when not walking in an equilibrium between my ‘supportive role’ and my own personal-support as in walking the responsibilities that I have within my world that are not linked toward my own process however are absolutely Part of Process as it is part of my reality and the points that I am walking within my life in this world.

And here’s where that Jesuit school motto comes to mind ‘Ser para los demás’ = ‘To be/ Being For Others’ – which is  essentially missing out oneself and then yes, it’s like ‘awesome, you are of ‘great support’ for others but, where’s your own self-support and self responsibility within your world?’ Self’s application must be Equal in all ways and I cannot give more to be something for ‘others’ but rather stand as an example of being the support I want for myself and that I can give to others and as such, give it back to myself. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate my own responsibilities based on wanting to rather ‘support others/ be there for others’ and within this, missing out my own priorities and responsibilities which I see and realize that it is actually stemming from wanting to ‘do good to others’ while creating an actual physical space-time consequences due to me using the point of supporting others as an excuse to not get to my own responsibilities in my reality. Thus

 

When and as I see myself making the decision to rather do this/that which is based on supporting others/ being ‘there for others’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that as long as this support of ‘being there for others’ stems from a point of wanting to help/ support to be a ‘good person’ and use this as an excuse to not get to my responsibilities, it is actually an unacceptable way of supporting as I am missing out myself and furthermore creating further excuses as how it is ‘better’ to support others because it makes me feel ‘better’ than just doing a task for an institution, wherein it is common sense that all aspects of my reality are equally important and equally priority within this process wherein everything that I commit myself to do will be based on self-responsibility in all aspects/ points in my reality.

I commit myself to equalize my application in all aspects of my reality wherein no point is less or more important as I realize that all commitments I make are equally important within my reality and my development as a person that is able to be self responsible in all aspects/ ways which is the decision one makes when standing up for life and the creation of an actual better world for ourselves.

 

So, the procrastination character has now morphed into looking at the ‘game played’ while procrastinating, and that’s the nitty-gritty aspects that I commit myself to open up in the following posts.

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188.Con-Sequence

Consequences of ProcrastinationWriting 

The manifested consequence of our creation is what we learn to face within this process  – and one would common sensically consider that because of knowing/ being aware of the potential harm, disruption, loss of integrity when deliberately participating in any thought, word and deed that we ‘know’ is not what best for all, we simply would stop doing it and stop the harm and self-abuse. Well, who we are as the mind is anything but common sensical or ‘sane’ within the logical sense of what sanity should be as a state of equilibrium at an organic/body and mind level. We are anything but that. While reading one of Heaven’s Journey to Life blogs I remember leaving a comment how I was a bit shocked when realizing that we Know what we are doing to ourselves, such as consuming our very life substance in order to create energetic experiences – yet we continue, yet we keep doing it even though the explanation is here on a golden platter for us to stand up and change.

I saw within myself also how the points that I’ve been able to definitely quit and stop and support myself to face the ‘withdrawal’ of were aspects wherein I made a firm decision to change. The moment I do not make this definitive decision, I know beforehand that I will use an excuse to not-change and kind of sneak in the pattern that I am ‘trying to stop’ because in the ‘trying’ there is no definitive action taken to decisively stop something. How on Earth have we managed to fool ourselves? To actually be abusing our lives, our living opportunities of expansion and growth even within the current ‘constrains’ of the system we live in, and simply allow ourselves to be ruled by apathy, by uselessness, by the sheer decision to ‘do it later’ which implies already deciding to do something else that sounds better to me than actually pushing myself to expand my current accepted and allowed automated response to only ‘go for’ that which sounds nice, enticing, comfortable, cozy even within my mind.

 

Now, the consequences… this is the part we really don’t want to face because it is all obviously to our own detriment and within the character walked so far, I realize the piece of self-sabotage masterpiece this has been.  I have also realized that I cannot victimize myself, make excuses, try to explain why I didn’t do it in a way that would sound ‘good’ at the ears of others – nope, I can’t like and all I have been able to say is ‘I have no excuse for that’ and even that sounds like cynicism based on me obviously having judged people in the past that would ‘blatantly’ accept their mistakes and faults and have  ‘nothing else to say’ because apparently, an excuse or justification would ‘soothe the consequence’ in some way, which is always stemming from this inherent human-mind desire of keeping ourselves on the ‘positive score’ of the game, even if everything goes to hell today we rather say ‘oh, but, you know, we did our best, we did everything we could, there was no way to change this’ – and cross our arms and hope to die probably.

Well, that which I see could happen at a global scale in terms of the procrastination we are accepting and allowing to sort out this world, the same I can see in the seemingly ‘unimportant’ points that I have procrastinated, deliberately ignoring the consequences and effect that this single point that I accepted and allowed to leave behind created as an effect in my overall beingness wherein it is rather difficult to pretend that everything is fine when there’s this corpse you’re dragging behind you and stinking every day a little bit more every time.

The consequences are both at a physical reality level and within my own ‘stance’ as a living being, because as we’ve explained before: if the sun refused to shine and postpone it’s glow today, life on Earth would not be possible, if the oxygen decided to withdraw itself from the atmosphere, take some ‘time out’ and come back in a week or so after a run through the universe, would life still be possible? No – and these are all obvious hypothetical points because it is simply not common sense to even conceive that a physical constancy in our world would procrastinate its function – the same applies to our physical body.

 

So, I see, realize and understand that every single judgment I had toward anything else not being fully applied and determined to change within others, must be absolutely reverted for me to face my own deliberate procrastination even though realizing and knowing/ being aware of the consequences. In my mind, it doesn’t make sense obviously to do something that will not be producing energy for it to create an experience about the moments that I am working on something – and this is precisely the ‘withdrawal’ process I see I have to face here – it’s going ‘better’ in terms of being able to spot the moments, however unless a definitive decision is made to stop walking the middle path, nothing will absolutely change/ be corrected.

 

I see and realize that within giving up on a single point and trying to hide/ suppress the actual experience toward it, it simply compounds until it becomes a literal burden on your back – so, this has been cool in order to spot the anxiety in relation to this, which would be automatically coming up in the seemingly unnoticeable moments wherein I would have the least ‘reminder’ of this point that I have to do – however since I’ve been actually working on it, the ‘benefit’ of this is also re-establishing myself as my directive principle which is one of the other dimensions of consequences that emerge when procrastinating: we stop existing as that immovable force that is able to ‘walk through it all’ simply because of allowing ourselves to be diminished and create an entire detrimental experience within one single point that we Know we are not ‘sorting out’ in our reality.

We cannot blame either, that’s just a be-lame act in order to not take responsibility for our actions, and I have walked that as well as it came through while walking all the other dimensions to this procrastination character that you can read from the first day here:
162. Either Do it or DIE

So, my suggestion within this is to give ourselves the necessary direction to commit ourselves to do and act and give direction to that which we have committed ourselves to be and do, to stop generating unnecessary consequences as I see and realize that it is Not required for us to go through hell and back to learn a lesson, that’s just white-light-dovey crap like the ‘paths of the soul’ for us to accept our own self-abuse as a ‘living lesson’ – No fucking way.

Within stopping the first moment wherein we see ourselves wanting to procrastinate, we are able to stop the entire sequence of events generated as a result of our own con wherein we opt for the ‘feel good’ experience instead of doing and working on that which we are aware must be directed and done.

 

Till Here No Further

Feelings and Procrastination

 

”More perspective on the points of feelings is that one tend to procrastinate because you feel good. But interestingly enough you have created those feel good feelings through your resonances through time so that you can trap yourselves so you never have to do anything. Because in-fact you are in constant fear and the only way that you don’t have to face your fear – which is everybody else in this world and the world system – is to create a feel good situation where you can justify why you are powerless and helpless to do anything about the situation in the world and that is how you delude yourself and deceive yourself to never actually take action and to accept the world the way it is, through happiness, feel good little feelings.
And obviously the world system in terms of money, and all the days like ‘Christmas’ and ‘Father’s day’ and ‘Mother’s day’ – all those kind of stuff is supporting your self delusions in keeping you trapped in it. And all the parent’s are teaching their children exactly the same traps so that they can feel good and even say, ‘I mean how dare you, let the child at least live and feel good while they’re alive’. Meantime, you have stolen that child’s life using the deception of feeling and energy.
Understand, the ‘Physical’ do not feel good. The ‘Physical’ will either have pain or no pain. That is all the physical feel. It’ll be either hot, cold – it’s simple physical things, that’s what the physical feel. That’s what’s Real.
One plus One Equals Two.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

So, Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements on consequence to come…

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