603. Keeping Indulgences Secret

Or how it is easy to not question anything that feels good or positive in our experience instead of seeing to what extent it is affecting ourselves and our relationship to others, in order to understand it and take responsibility for our expression.  

Yesterday I had a revealing dream that most likely got triggered through listening to the audio from Eqafe called Tension in Working Environments – Relationship Success Support and Tension in Normal Environments – Relationship Success Support where there’s a very cool example that I guess women like me can relate to when we express ourselves in a particular manner around people that might be misinterpreted as being flirting or creating some kind of sexual innuendo in our interactions with the opposite sex.

I appreciate the explanations given in such contexts, because I have been ‘there’ myself in wanting to suppress my expression around males and even dressing in a particular way so as to not apparently ‘provoke’ certain experiences in others – instead of realizing that I cannot ever change how another is going to perceive me or how they might interpret my expression and relationship towards them, however there IS a point that I can absolutely take responsibility for, and that is explained in the second one linked above, where I have to keep an eye on how I might be expressing myself through energy, becoming in essence too ‘extroverted’ or ‘too expressive’ around males in order to cover up some kind of inferiority/fear/insecurity that is then ‘compensated’ for through energy. But in my case I discovered how there was something else behind such ‘expressiveness’ many times in my experience towards males before.

What I’ve been testing out in ‘real time’ is precisely deliberately spending time with certain people that I had all kinds of ‘hidden agendas’ towards in relation to creating experiences of desire or attraction towards – and that’s what I’ll explain here which matches as well what emerged in my dream in such a clear and almost ‘scientific experiment’ way that I just cannot ignore the relevance it has to what I have been observing and processing in relation to identifying those aspects of myself, my personalities and experiences where I am holding on to these ‘mind candies’ as I’ve been calling them, anything that gives me a momentary sense of pleasure or I turn into an ‘exciting’ experience.

While I was communicating yesterday about this dream and how I link the situation to identifying ‘my indulgence’ point in life, I realized how normal it had become for me to simply go into these energies before and how it wasn’t even about ‘the people’ themselves that I’d create these energies towards, but how it was all in fact the sheer desire to experience that energy based on the context that I’ll describe now.

So in the dream I would face two males in my life, one that I’ve known in ‘real time’ that I had built or accumulated many ideals around, creating an aura of desire towards that person based on the idea and even image that I wanted to believe they in fact were in order to feed this energetic experience of attraction towards them. What’s interesting is that several times before I proved to myself how I was more ‘infatuated’ with the IDEA and Experience that I would get from the thought of them – such as excitement, desire, fascination, the idea of being liked by the person, the idea of being desired by that person –  that I actually got ‘hooked on’ these thoughts as triggers for these experiences in the same way that an addict would towards drugs.

How did I come to conclude I was in fact hooked on energy rather than the actual person? Because I never really knew the person –or people – as in spending sufficient amount of time with them to truly get to appreciate them at that reality-physical level, which is also clarified based on the explanation on the Eqafe audio as well in terms of being realistic about the time that it takes to truly develop this kind of potentials with people.  It makes sense how I spent probably a couple of years feeding this infatuation in my mind, while merely spending a few hours every now and then with such person in my life – the result? I turned the person into a symbol, an idea of desire, while actually not really wanting to have something to do with the ‘real person.’ Yep, I realized how I was more ‘in love’ if you will with the idea of them that I would trigger within me as a ‘candy-thought’ to create this ‘excitement’ experience of attraction or desire in me about such person – but again, it was never about the person in fact and this was confirmed by my experience in the dream.

In the dream I was talking to this person and I basically went back to the experience I had towards him when I first met him many years ago, and all that mattered to me was that ‘energetic interaction’ that I was experiencing in the dream/while dreaming about the idea that I had of this person, essentially experiencing once again that energy that I got quite hooked on for years on in relation to males as a seemingly ‘acceptable’ and ‘common’ fixation I developed over the years, changing only the person but keeping myself ‘hooked’ on the same attraction or desire that I’d create towards them, which most of the times never consolidated or had any actual physical reality outcome as in having a relationship with any of them – instead I turned people into symbols of desire, attraction, lust within myself for the sake of bringing up these experiences within me, for my own pleasure essentially.

So, in the dream I noticed that I didn’t want to ‘stop dreaming’ or wanted to ‘elongate’ that process of existing in this flirty mode or that perception of being able to ‘seduce’ another – which is really only an experience I have only ever created within myself within the comfortable and seductive idea of ‘having power over’ creating an experience of desire within another towards me – yep, essentially a power game there going on that I’d get hooked on experiencing.

And what went on in a ‘separate’ moment in my dream is having exactly the same process going on where I’d get to meet a person that I never got to in fact meet in person and play out the exactly same ‘energy game’ of attraction, seduction, desire towards them without actually wanting to do something ‘in reality’ towards them other than just get to exist in that prolonged moment of building up the attraction, building up the desire and such kind of exhilaration that can be created with things that can be defined as ‘sexual tension’ and the rest of things that we can create and ‘comfortably’ participate with in our minds.

I was also translating this audio on Eqafe on Embracing Your Mind which assisted me to see how we tend to want to shove aside, hide, suppress anything perceived and felt as bad, negative, awful or emotional experience within ourselves, and in that becoming selective in our relationship to our mind, where we then don’t question the positive experiences, that which feels good, that which we usually want to ‘prolong’ as a ‘nice’ experience within ourselves, and I got to see that quite clearly in my dream how I basically became ‘hooked on’ within those interactions with these two examples of males in my dream and play out the exact same thing with both, so as to see that it had never been in fact about ‘them’ as people that I have created such infatuation, but it in fact was representing my relationship to the ‘positive experience’ I came to associate with all of these energies that I can describe as feelings, as attraction, seduction, pleasure, even in terms of power play which I had come to associate to one of my ‘abilities’ or ‘skills’ towards males.

Lol, here I understand how this can be interpreted and it’s certainly not my intent to enhance these patterns or personality-traits within me at all, it is simply to understand, recognize it, embrace it as the audio explained so that I don’t hold now a relationship of embarrassment or shame to what I’ve ‘comfortably’ played out many times throughout my life – and possibly beyond this life as well.

I also find it interesting that in these past couple of weeks I’ve been talking precisely about this ‘misinterpretation’ with a female friend of mine, of how certain males will react to our expression as females and how it is entirely up to us to ensure we are not giving the ‘wrong idea’ towards them in relation to who we are and how we stand towards them.  And It was cool to find out how she’s experienced very similar experiences to the ones I’ve had in my life as well, and where we both had to admit that yeah there was also this attachment to ‘feeling good’ about in a sense being able to flirt and create this momentary ‘excitement’ about the ‘possibilities’ that open up when developing such communication with another person, and how that eventually leads to take on the ‘next steps’ for example into creating a relationship, and eventually how that energy only lasts so long to the point that all that remains is the ‘shadow of the energy’ as a desire that one then realizes had nothing to do with the actual person themselves, but it really only was all about our individual energetic reaction to those moments where we get to first meet someone and deliberately create these energetic reactions as attraction, desire, lust, flirting and with that wrapping ourselves up into an overall experience of excitement that we then go seeking out everywhere we can, as in moving to a ‘new prey’ so to speak, just like vampires seeking energy. It becomes a ‘way of living’ in terms of turning others as objects of desire and ourselves as ‘desirable’ to others that we want to establish this kind of ‘connection’ with, which is of course the point to change here and take responsibility for within myself.

It was interesting because as I was sharing about these points with her, I realized that I was verbalizing my own solution to this ‘secret’ indulgence of mine that I had for the most part not really exposed or explained to anyone else, because a part of me wanted to hold on to it, which is a tendency we all have in relation to anything ‘positive’ in our minds. So as it is explained in the Eqafe audio, we were conditioned to not question and welcome all sorts of positive experiences, and do the opposite with all things negative. Therefore now that I see to what extent this energetic ‘pull’ exists within me, I realize the importance of developing an actual sense of honor, respect and stability when seeing that I am wanting to ‘recreate’ this positive-experience in relation to males in particular and keep myself grounded so as to not be deliberately going into energy as in building up any form of excitement or ‘attraction’ or ‘desire’ experience that can be seen by others and then interpreted as ‘something else’ which usually is interpreted in sexual or relationship terms.

And it’s interesting how I had become very vocal in criticizing females that would kind of deliberately place themselves as ‘sex symbols’ or deliberately wanting to evoke certain reactions in the opposite sex, and in that I realized how I had been also participating in the same kind of patterns in a different way, in a more concealed manner, but still the same energetic experience exists in that kind of ‘flirtatious’ escapades that I’ve had towards males in particular.

It’s also very cool to be able to discuss this with someone and have several references of how people experience this kind of ‘positive feelings’ in relation to for example pornography, something that I had created a righteousness about because of ‘not indulging into porn’ however, when looking at the actual experience one gets ‘hooked on’ in relation to anything that we use to stimulate these positive experiences in ourselves, it really is only a secondary thing to look at what or who we are turning into an object or image or idea that elicits this ‘positive experience’ within ourselves – it really becomes all about giving up and deciding to no longer try and ‘go into’ these positive experiences, trying to create our ‘mind candy’ as I call it which airs  essentially the cocktail of ‘feel good’ experiences I’ve merely come to define as excitement, desire, lust, attraction, power plays in relation to males – but in essence, it’s not even about people themselves, but my idea and experience created towards them which are all self-created.

My decision is then to build a foundation of self respect, honor and consideration not only towards myself, my body, my mind but also in how I relate to other people, specially males for all the reasons described above, where I have been proving to myself that I am able to talk to, relate and communicate with them and deliberately ‘not going there’ in terms of turning on the flirtatious design or experience, which means not communicate or interact through energy, but remain stable yet expressive, which is really all a decision in every moment to ‘not indulge,’ to ‘not go there’ and instead practice that stability in my experience while communicating and interacting with males, which I’ve also proven to myself is entirely possible and enjoyable in a different way, where there’s more of a sense of satisfaction in my case for the depth that I can create with another based on actual communication, than just creating an ‘energy-game’ towards them.

It did in a way bother me that I had such dream that I described above, in a way I felt like failing at being able to in my dream apply myself and stop seeking to recreate such ‘feel good’ flirtatious experiences. However I realize that this would be me being short-sighted about the extent to which I have in fact existed in this mindset, which is probably as far as I can remember existing, meaning, it has become ‘me’ to such an extent that it is only now that I am in fact deciding to open it up and take it on, because of its ‘positive nature.’ It definitely had become an aspect of self-definition that I was holding on to as a ‘little piece of heaven’ I could keep for myself – lol – but it’s in fact not cool at all to exist like that.

In this it does imply cutting myself off from supplying myself with these ‘feel good’ experiences which is entirely possible by me not ‘going into it’, not ‘going there’ whenever I see that I would usually just ‘automatically’ do it in the past. It is possible and I’ve tested it a few times already. Therefore what I see came up in my dream is to become aware of how I am still keeping it at a deep level within me as something I want to hold on to, to keep secret, to not ‘admit’ as a pattern that has dominated my life for so long, which is why I am also writing, sharing and talking about it to understand it, to see who I am in it and in doing so, placing it in my awareness to such an extent that I cannot any longer just ‘sweep it under the rug’ and continue deceiving myself about it – now I actively decide to change myself in relation to it.

As I was talking to someone about it, they explained how it is so that we cannot change this ‘high’ energy into something else, because it’s just like deciding to giving up drugs where you essentially have to learn to live without such ‘high’ or ‘buzz’ that the drugs give you at an energetic level – and it’s definitely so, it’s no different to how I have to now go about this in my mind, saying ‘no’ to wanting to create these ‘good feelings’ and take responsibility for my expression, and not seeing this as a ‘loss’ at all, but instead I see that it’s actually cool to be able to build this actual communication or understanding with others without the need to bring up any ‘feelings’ for it or turn it into a mind-game.

Here also taking into consideration how many times I have in fact caused consequences that I only later got to know based on this pattern of interaction with males, where in creating these energetic experiences ‘towards them,’ I’d then in fact give ‘mixed signals’ that would then leave them confused or angry at myself for not being ‘clear’ on what my intent was… and the reality is that I was in it all just for the momentary experience and only a few times did I ever really consider an actual relationship with people, so that’s something I have to take responsibility for in terms of measuring my expression so as to not create consequences in others as well – of course, I cannot control them all, but I can sure do my part to ensure I am clear at all times.

That means that  I do my part when it comes to these interactions in not ‘opening any doors’ to misinterpretation through going into energy when communicating with others, but remain stable, clear in my expression and still be expressive and outgoing as I usually am, but there is a distinctive difference when I know I am going into these ‘same old patterns’ and when I am actually ‘empty’ or devoid of any ‘good feelings’ while communicating with others, where I can genuinely stand in equality with the person, not reducing them any longer as a potential source to trigger or elicit ‘positive feelings’ within me, which is really not cool in terms of considering another being in the totality of who they are, and in that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reduce ourselves as males and females as beings that would ‘normally’ desire each other or turn any point of expression and communication into sex and relationships, which is the same as reducing myself and others as mere objects of desire, which is not how I want to continue living and seeing fellow beings as.

Here I commit myself to honor, respect and consider myself and others in being able to establish clarity and consistency in my communication with other males, being able to remind myself that I hold a point of responsibility in how I behave, and if necessary be able to explain ‘where I stand’ towards them so as to not give room to interpretations, which I’ve found actually quite supportive to do in order to ‘clear up any confusion’ in such situations and that actually assists to delineate or define my relationships to males in terms of support and/or friendship.

Ok, so that’s the point for me to continue working on, I am grateful for the dreams, for the support that is opened up through Eqafe in order to look at what I can change about myself in relation to these patterns and in essence for once and for all stop my indulgence into these ‘feel good’ patterns that I had so comfortably become.

Thanks for reading.

 

If you have a dream you’d like to have some perspectives on in order to understand how to work with it, I recommend requesting a Dream Reading on Eqafe.com, I have been able to walk through some very bizarre dreams to understand what they meant at levels of my mind that I’m not yet aware of.

 

 

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478. Want Transparency and Integrity? Let’s BE It

Or how to start becoming the solution to all lies and deception within our very own minds

There was a great opening by Cerise and Joe to consider how it would be for every person in our lives to know about what we have thought, imagined, fantasized in absolute detail doing or saying to them throughout our entire life and then asking ourselves if knowing all of this would change the way they see us, and if we would be able to face them without shame or guilt.

The ‘scary’ thought of this implies right off the bat: we got a ton to work on in relation to developing self-honesty which means acknowledging our very own thoughts, every fantasy or imagination, every experience created by ourselves as a form of self-interest where we only consider ourselves but never really give too much of a thought about that person that we are ‘thinking, gossiping, judging, fantasizing’ about in any way – positive or negative, same thing – because for the most part we’ve believed that these things do not affect others, but it’s become quite clear that we cage each other in our own ideas, beliefs, perceptions about others which we synthesize as a form of judgment, backchat, reaction towards another that we then turn into behaviors, ways of ‘treating’ a person which means, we make of those opinions a ‘very real’ representation of the other person in our minds, which then defines how we treat them/see them/acknowledge them, where we justify whatever we are doing onto ‘them’ because it seems righteous, because we believe ‘that’s who They are’ – but, considering that every single person would be able to see and get to know the exact detail of everything I have ever thought about them in my mind, it would surely be a daunting consideration, but to be honest I’ve been hearing the words ‘all will be known’ for close to 9 years now and this has definitely been a factor to curb my ‘self-entertainment’ in a continuous  way related to how and what I think about others.

However this does not mean it is entirely done and sorted out in me, not at all. I’ve faced many forms of challenges in relation to what I think, perceive, judge or react to in others, and the truth is that I many times don’t immediately stand on my ground of self-responsibility to rather see what are these thoughts, judgments, fantasies or experiences revealing about myself. I actually had been considering this for the past couple of days and here to answer the question, I do consider that people would definitely react upon seeing whatever I have thought or perceived about them, because we are not really taught to deal with such perceptions/imaginations about others in our minds as the expression of those that think or fantasize about it and that in no way does it really define ‘who we are’ – meaning, in any case, anything I have thought, gossiped, idealized, imagined, judged, reacted about towards ‘others’ is in fact defining myself and only myself as aspects or parts of myself that I have to work on, but that we as human beings conveniently usually deflect to ‘others’ in an attempt to dodge self-responsibility and self-reflection, which usually stems from wanting to see ourselves under a the light of ‘being a good person.’

Here then, I have pondered many times throughout the years about a potential situation in this world where we could suddenly have all the ‘veils of the mind’ lifted from ourselves in one go and all the chaos that would possibly ensue if we were to suddenly see every single detail of anything that every person we know – or don’t even know – but get to know of have had such imaginations, fantasies, judgments, opinions about ourselves, and how that could ensue like a real ‘world war’ if we don’t get to settle ourselves to understand how everything that we ‘think’ – imagine, perceive, judge, fantasize, react to – about another is in fact our own expression, judgments, ideas, perceptions and that in no way does it really define ‘another’ but ourselves.

That realization is usually an ‘ouch’ experience to most where we’d like to think that we ‘have a right’ to think of another in our heads ‘whatever we want’ with some sort of power to judge, criticize, fantasize about in whichever way – this is certainly a timely situation to consider that we don’t, and that no matter what we do, we’ll face each and every single person in our lives that we have ever had those thoughts about and walk every one of those relationships – no matter how menial – into a point of correction. That’s what our Life Reviews will be about.

So, I’ll share here how through walking this process from consciousness to self-awareness, I have already had my own taste of shame, regret, embarrassment and a personal experience of wanting to ‘dig a hole’ for my own head upon reviewing some of the most shameful things I’ve done, thought or fantasized about in my  mind about others. I am sure I haven’t walked through them all, but it is so that in those moments I have also projected possible scenarios where if I would face those people again, I would ask forgiveness and explain ‘where I was’ at the time of my life where I was creating those ideas, reactions, perceptions ‘about them’ – and in several occasions how I acted the way I did toward them, how my decisions were influenced by all of this mental chatter – and how I eventually found out all of it was in fact about myself only; I would share how I have learned to assist myself to correct these judgments, ideas, thoughts or participations so that we can stop recreating this ‘invisible world’ of lies and deception that we allow to exist in our minds towards another, but we don’t dare to actually confront and lay out before another to be honest about one’s own experience and walk a process of self-honesty to realize oneself as the origin and creator of those reactions that we are simply projecting or imposing upon others as ‘who we believe they are’ – when they are then, in fact, not.

Would they decide to change the way they see me upon knowing all of this? Considering how most of us operate in our minds, I’m sure it would create a lot of rifts in a relationship, because we haven’t learned to not take things personally, but we always are quick to believe that ‘that which another said about me defines me’ and forget all about questioning the creator of such judgment in the first place. So it would be quite expected and normal to walk through a phase of having all of those people suddenly see me with ‘bad eyes’ and then it would be my responsibility to acknowledge where and how have I worked on taking responsibility for those things said or fantasized about another and accordingly go working on my own responsibility about them through self-forgiveness and so walking a process of self-correction.

Would I be able to face them without shame or guilt? As I explained above, most likely not, even if I am not ‘technically’ seeing the people I have been reviewing memories or situations of my past – including ‘recent present’ – in my mind in order to process it, take responsibility for it in my head, I have felt such shame, regret, embarrassment and guilt many times before. But at the same time, I’ve learned how it can only be a temporary experience really, and it’s up to me to make of this shame more of a transitory learning experience rather than a self-bashing and self-judgment process that then becomes another layer of judgment for me to process. I’ve created a reminder to myself to not fall prey of ‘double-judgment’ where one judges oneself for the judgments, beliefs, perceptions one has created about another… it’s definitely easier to acknowledge the point, and yes it sometimes it may be impossible to not go through shame, guilt, regret, but here I can stand as my own surety so that it doesn’t become a form of emotional manipulation for me to not continue seeing my responsibility in it all, but step out of that belief that I become ‘less’ in acknowledging my faults, my own judgments – and so see how it is actually only a point of self-respect and integrity that I decide to build and create as myself when deciding to acknowledge my own creation of those parts of myself that I have the power – as in being capable and able – to change them for and by myself.

A very important reminder that has assisted me quite a bit lately is the realization that what defines a person is not ‘all that they have been’ in their past, but more like how we decide to stand up from ‘the past’ that we’ve been and become. It’s only us that hold ourselves/each other as prisoners of our own past perceptions, judgments and beliefs, leading us nowhere really other than recreating the same illusions of separation that are able to be self-forgiven, taken responsibility with the purpose to change the way that we stand in our minds, the way that we ‘use’ our minds and so in turn, changing how we interact towards others.

A practical reminder for me is precisely to consider how every single thought, word and deed Is part of who I am, my creation, therefore I have to be accountable for it all, because how I face and confront those challenges – such as suddenly people finding out all about how I ‘thought’ of them – is what defines me, and so I have to remind myself that no matter how ‘awful’ some of these points might be, what defines me is who I decide to be from now on that I acknowledge that aspect/part of myself that requires a direction, that requires my responsibility to change because of seeing, real time, that it is not at all supportive to remain in my own denial of these parts of myself if I am a person that is craving or even demanding transparency in this world.

If I am ‘demanding’ transparency and integrity, the ‘truth’ out there, we have to start by creating these words, living these words within ourselves. I bet that none of us that have desired this to exist in our ‘world systems’ have considered to what extent the solution resides in the very secret corridors of our minds and all those accumulated experiences toward people around us, people that we see on our ‘screens’, people that we interact with on a regular basis either in a very personal or impersonal manner… I personally would like to see the day where we could eventually see everything of each other, because then it would be so in our face to recognize that no one can claim innocence in not having ever gossiped, fantasized or judged another; we all have done it in various degrees and the way to start getting a taste of what it would mean to live in a transparent world with integrity is by reviewing all of those judgments that we have created or fantasized about in relation to others, take responsibility for it in recognizing it as or own creation, as our own acceptance and allowance that doesn’t define ‘that other person’ or situation, but ourselves entirely.

And so the only ‘salvation’ that exists here is truly self-forgiveness, no doubt about it. How else could we give ourselves a second chance to face these very grim, dark or despicable aspects of ourselves if we didn’t give ourselves the ability to stand up from it, learn from our mistakes and ensure that we stand ‘hands clean’ from now on in order to not recreate/repeat those same patterns toward other people, but instead develop the practice of ‘placing a guard in front of our mouths and minds’ as in being more aware of what we think, say, do, fantasize or react towards another about, and make sure that we know we are defined by what we believe is ‘defining another’ that we are projecting these thoughts upon.

It is all about self-reflection and in that, we will then be able to not only actively change the way that we interact, live and create our societies, but also at the same time stop the ‘sins of the fathers’ in relation to this deception, hypocrisy, judgments, fears in relation to others, so that we can start becoming self-accountable beings that don’t require a ‘thought police’ to be punished for some ‘bad thoughts’ about others that we turn into heinous acts or crimes – we can then know exactly what we nurture or feed within ourselves, we can exactly decide who we are in every moment in relation to another and ensure that we can stand ‘at the end of time’ clear and self-corrected in relation  to those thoughts, those judgments or experiences towards ‘others’ that, ultimately, are in fact also ourselves anyways – equal and one.

This is actually a very cool subject to bring to our awareness because it is through ‘dropping the veil’ of seeing another as a ‘separate me’ that we can start realizing how much of what we believe is ‘done onto another’ is always done to oneself – abuse, is always Self-abuse. Therefore, doing this exercise, practically, can assist us in becoming more comfortable and closer to the actual truth of ourselves, which is by default not something nice, pretty and pure – we all have our aspects and parts of ourselves to change and correct. Here then, we must not see guilt, same, regret or embarrassment as the solution, nor as a ‘way out’ of actually sorting out these points in us – these reactions are but distractors if they remain a bit too long as our experience – we have to walk through our creation and take responsibility, it’s the least we can do after we’ve ‘fired those bullets’ existing as harmful thoughts and experiences ‘shot’ at others.

Once the trigger is pulled, there’s no going back. But fortunately, with what goes on in our minds, we can at least correct it, ensure we don’t act upon it or recreate it any longer and more so, ensure we don’t take such thoughts or experiences about another into an actual bullet that maims another’s life. We can remind ourselves of this every time that we believe it’s ‘easy’ to imagine stuff, to think stuff and believe it all goes ‘away with the wind’ because ‘it’s only thoughts’ but nope, it’s all here, recorded in the very physical day to day life that we walk through in this world.

So, let’s define ourselves by having the guts to acknowledge and recognize our creation, by deciding to walk through all of these judgments towards ‘others’ and claim them back as our own creation that ‘defines us’ until we decide to also change those reactions about ourselves into something that is genuinely supportive for our lives, that can stand as a building block of the self that we are willing to stand by and with for the rest of our existence.

If we want a world that is no longer ‘full of lies,’ we have to stop lying and deceiving ourselves with an image or belief of ‘being a good person’ – none of us have really been so if we have ever allowed but one single thought about another in a compromising or harmful situation. Food for self-reflection, because it’s more honorable to take a step forward and say ‘I’ve done that, that’s me’ than giving a step back and running away with an idea of ‘I’d never dare to do something like that!’ – that’s a choice right there into self-honesty or self-dishonesty, all up to us – but let’s be aware that each decision we make defines our present, who we are and by all means defines the nature of the future that we are co-creating for ourselves and generations to come.

I’d say, it’s time to stand up with courage and claim ownership of our own lies, so that we can then take responsibility and gift those parts back to ourselves as words that we want to live within and toward others in our lives.

Thanks for reading

 

Suggested interview:

• Self-Judgment & Fear of Self-Forgiveness –

 

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378. Does Privacy Undermine Democracy?

Apocalypse is what we are living in now: the massive revelation of the deception existent at all levels in our reality – and I say at last it’s all opening up like the can of worm’s we’ve kept nicely closed for far too long. Who would’ve known that our very own words would be traceable and then turned against us? Isn’t this the perfect way to for once and for all face ourselves, our human nature, our constant desire to maim and tame the system to always end up winning and having an immaculate image at the eyes of others? As much as the majority of the world revolts when thinking about one’s every move being tracked and recorded, I’ve got a few points to share here to re-consider our definition of privacy and security and how this links to our ability to genuinely establish a democracy that hasn’t existed at all yet in the history of humanity.

 

Looking in retrospect to 2013, one of the stories we got to read and hear on a daily basis was the massive surveillance and spying programs around the globe.

 

On December 25th, 2013 “Whistleblower Edward Snowden, who revealed the mass surveillance programmes organised by the US and other governments, gives this year’s The Alternative Christmas Message.”

 

“Recently, we learned that our governments, working in concert, have created a system of worldwide mass surveillance, watching everything we do.

Great Britain’s George Orwell warned us of the danger of this kind of information. The types of collection in the book — microphones and video cameras, TVs that watch us — are nothing compared to what we have available today. We have sensors in our pockets that track us everywhere we go.

Think about what this means for the privacy of the average person. A child born today will grow up with no conception of privacy at all. They’ll never know what it means to have a private moment to themselves — an unrecorded, unanalyzed thought. And that’s a problem, because privacy matters. Privacy is what allows us to determine who we are and who we want to be.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/snowdens-christmas-messgae-2013-12#ixzz2pDmtXp3Z

 

 

Public vs. Private

 

In a world where private property determines our worth and value, one’s idea and belief of ‘privacy’ is no different to the illusion of ‘free choice’ where our right to keep secrets, keep hidden data and undeclared information apparently makes us free and self-determined human beings or as Snowden placed it, privacy “determines who we are and who we want to be”

Is it really so or is it the ability to continue hiding the lies and deception that perpetuate the corrupted system we re-create every single day of our lives?

 

Private  
1    for or belonging to one particular person or group only. (of thoughts, feelings, etc.) not to be shared or revealed.(of a person) not choosing to share their thoughts and feelings. (of a place) secluded. alone and undisturbed by others.
2    (of a person) having no official or public position. not connected with one’s work or official position.

from Latin privatus ‘withdrawn from public life’, a use of the past participle of privare ‘bereave, deprive’, from privus ‘single, individual’.

 

 

Does Privacy allow self-determination?

To the point: Not at all. What determines our lives is money and money is currently the spawn of our negligence to create an economic, political and social system that provides genuine security to each individual in the form of Money to have access to all the necessary means to live in dignity.

If we believe that we must keep our thoughts and words private as our secret creation, rather consider the following. Our human behavior and the entire configuration of our minds is determined by the environment we are born into, which means that we believe that our thoughts, words and actions are to be kept ‘private’ or concealed from the public eye, without realizing that our words, thoughts, beliefs, our desires, fantasies, vices and wildest imaginations are merely copies from everything that exists here as our ‘culture’/ our environment from which we copy such thoughts, behavior, desires, manners from each other and as such, I don’t see it as a great revelation to know that there are people cheating in the system to win over others, that abuse the public’s ‘trust,’ that has deviant ways of entertainment, that corrupt the system to their own benefit, that may cheat to their spouses, that may rob from public treasury, that only seek to benefit themselves… none of that is really ‘new’ to us since we all create the nature of these ‘hot revelations,’ as they represent nothing else but the disclosure of who we are and have become as individuals that only seek personal benefit and keep it all ‘secluded from public domain’ so as to never have to be accountable for our thoughts, words and deeds that undermine any possibility for real democracy.

What is it that one can fear if our every move is being tracked? that our ability to lie, cheat, deceive and corrupt might be finally terminated by ‘the powers that be’ without realizing that such power as a system of control in the first place only exists because we haven’t been able to trust each other to always live and exist within the principle of doing, thinking and speaking what is best for all. We failed to do this and that’s why everyone is screaming and shouting against mass surveillance programs and the NSA because our little theater of li(v)es will be exposed for once and for all. I can sincerely say I have no worry at all about this since the idea of privacy is a synonym to secrecy, and so as we all know it is an antonym to transparency and integrity, which is what we as human beings have failed to integrate as part of our principled living code – if we had one to begin with – which would have resulted in a world we would be living happily ever after in, and clearly we are not.

 

“The conversation occurring today will determine the amount of trust we can place both in the technology that surrounds us and the government that regulates it. Together, we can find a better balance. End mass surveillance. And remind the government that if it really wants to know how we feel, asking is always cheaper than spying.”

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/snowdens-christmas-messgae-2013-12#ixzz2pE574BM8

 

It’s fascinating to see that we blame the government the same way we blame a god or parents or any other ‘authority figure’ that we create as an excuse to not realize our responsibility that has been abdicated from the moment that we’ve accepted and allowed the ruling of a minority over a so called ‘majority,’ which makes it nonsensical since it would imply that the majority must be severely blind to be ruled by a ‘minority’ and this is where our first abdication of responsibility begun up to now where we’ve made of the government our ‘punching bag’ to exert the anger that we in fact experience toward ourselves as the result of having left our lives in the hands of a clever few that knew how to take advantage of our fear to responsibility, to genuinely be self-determined and self-governed. How can we blame ‘others’ for what we accepted and allowed ourselves throughout ages?

 

Furthermore, isn’t it that ‘how we feel’ and ‘who we want to be’ as our desire to win, to eliminate our competitor, to stab others in the back is what has enabled some to thrive more than others and as such, ‘those in power’ are nothing but the reflection of our own secret desires to do and become ‘them’ as well? 

Isn’t it that because we have allowed this secrecy between one another to continue we have shaped this world in the image and likeness of our secret mind where we conceal ourselves from one another creating a system wherein one can only succeed if you cheat the most while making enemies that must be then eradicated to keep one’s throne – or the desire thereof – in place?

 

It is rather disappointing to see how little do we as the people, the public,  understand about the matters that we should instead all be working on to solve as the actual self-determination that could be enabled by establishing genuine social security, such as a Living Income to guarantee our right to life.  Within this delusion of our “right to privacy” we have diverted our attention for what really matters which is to recognize our failure to honor ourselves and each other as part of the public,  as part of the whole and empower each other to live in dignity and equality in opportunity: the real democracy. Instead,  the world is fixated on first securing one’s Secret Mind as our thoughts, words and deeds that we would rather keep away from the ‘public eye’ just because it would ‘compromise’ – or shall I rather say – expose our lies, deception and cheating to ‘make it through’ in our lives – private and public – and keep a ‘good reputation’ to continue abusing without any consequence – but why is this so? is it then that in Snowden’s words ‘privacy is self-determination’ is our ability to abuse each other? Because if integrity existed, we would not feel the need to keep secrets from one another.

Snowden’s revelations are not surprising at all since it is self evident that if this system worked and operated in a ‘correct manner’ we would not be having billions of human beings starving on a daily basis and being disenfranchised from having access to living necessities by lacking the enforcement of basic human rights. Therefore, the lies and deception at a personal and public level is rather a showbiz misleading game from the matters that are a priority at the moment – and it is only the beginning since it is a necessary step for us to finally come to realize that our ability to be ‘private’ is another branch of the delusion of free choice as the right to abuse and remember: it’s life’s way now and all things will be revealed to finally establish the necessary clarity and transparency for real self-empowerment and self-determination. 

 

Can we genuinely be ‘withdrawn from public life?

No. The sole idea of being an individual that can be isolated is merely a concept that exists within an intrinsic desire of human beings to keep things hidden, covered up, secret and kept as another point of ‘righteousness,’ an actual mockery of ‘honor’ and ‘freedom’ as the ability to keep one’s reputation immaculate at the eyes of others and ‘free from consequence’ ; however we have failed to apply basic common sense to realize that if we were honorable, integral and transparent individuals, we would not be fighting for ‘our right to secrecy’ and no matter how many excuses we can get opposing these statements, we only want to keep our secrets hidden so as to keep one ‘safe’ from facing the consequences and finally ‘forcing’ ourselves to become accountable.

It is impossible now due to our technology and wired lives to continue keeping secrets. The way of the globalized internet world now is to begin this process of self-revelation where we finally come to see ourselves for who we are, what we have become, to open the can of worms in our ‘private lives’ and so become an individual that is able to stand in the face of every other being and be accountable for everything we think, say and do, while committing to rather act in the best interest of All, of the public.

 

Public  
1    of, concerning, or open to the people as a whole. Øinvolved in the affairs of the community, especially in government or entertainment: a public figure.
2    done, perceived, or existing in open view.

from Latin publicus, blend of poplicus ‘of the people’ and pubes ‘adult’.

 

 

Democracy can only exist when we the people, the public, are able to stand in absolute transparency toward one another – no lies, no secrets, no ‘classified information’ – and as such empower each other to genuinely stand in self-determination within the consideration that there is really no individual that can live isolated from affecting and being dependent on the whole – privacy only prolonged and veiled this realization.

 

We are fighting for our limitations when we get concerned about things like ‘being spied on and tracked everywhere’ within the belief that we are being ‘violated’…. Hello? why haven’t we first considered the violation of our right to life in the first place and have kept each other blind from the fact that we should all be granted money to live in dignity as a human right, and that the creation of such supportive system can only come to exist when we redefine Security as the ability to secure each other’s living right by providing Money to live, instead of thinking of ‘security’ as the ability to keep secrets from one another to perpetuate the lies and corruption in a broken system that propitiates starvation and massive financial crimes, yet provides the false idea of ‘privacy as self determination.’ Right.

 

It’s time to rather ponder why such systems to ‘control’ exist, why we haven’t been able to trust each other, why we have allowed a few to create such control systems, why we are complaining about being ‘watched by Big Brother’ without realizing that we would not fear at all to be watched if we think, act and speak always in alignment to the principle of doing what is best for all – no harm, no abuse – and supporting oneself to be an honorable member of society, men and women of integrity that can trust each other with each other’s life.

 

Sounds utopic? Only if we continue fighting for our limitations and blaming governments for massive surveillance instead of taking the point back to ourselves and work on our ability to develop self-integrity, honor and respect to each others as fellow living beings that can live in peace and harmony in a self-determined and self-governance modality of coexistence – that is the real key to stop fearing big brother and massive surveillance until such control is no longer required and we can finally trust each other to create a socioeconomic structure that secures the right to life in dignity.

 

• Investigate the Living Income Guaranteed
• Equal Life Foundation
• Democracy Against War Now

 

Presenting the Equal Life Foundation’s Fundamental Human Rights. the actual matters we the people have to focus on providing to one another: 

 

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