Category Archives: self coaching

189. Anger and Irritation upon Procrastination

Consequences – Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger and irritation toward myself and ‘the world’ because of my own procrastination and within this, having ‘wasted’ the time that I had when I had it to do this properly and instead, having to now rush things to make them ‘work’  – however I see and realize that I must be very aware of not going into a rushing state wherein I end up doing things just to ‘get them done’ and forgetting about realizing that each thing that I commit myself to do  requires the exact same amount of self-awareness here as breath to do it, and within this, committing myself to not just ‘get things done’ and get the ‘obstacle’ out of the way – in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate my life to ‘getting things done’ and seeing the tasks and points that require direction as simple ‘points’ that I have to simply ‘get done and over with it’ without realizing that in this attitude toward my tasks and projects, I am in fact missing out the entire point of the task/ project in itself, which is actually an opportunity for me to slow down, stop seeing life as this series of projects and assignments and instead support me to realize that each and every single task I commit myself to I can take on as long as I am here as breath directing myself in every moment and within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, within the consequential outflow of me now having more tasks to do and having ‘wasted the time’ before, I will have to simply be more strict with myself and my time frames, as I see and realize that if there is this ‘extra thing’ that I have been procrastinating to do, it must be done as soon as possible – and within this equate all things that I have to do appropriately.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the fear of ‘oh fuck I’ll be stuck here for another half year’ without realizing that I am not stuck and I created this for myself – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that any point of pressure and rush is created by me and the relationship I created toward moving to another place and finishing school but at the same time not wanting to simply get the whole thing done with the final paper, which I see and realize that the sabotage is only toward myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience anger toward myself and within this go into a pessimistic attitude toward it because I will not apparently be able to move in another half year, without realizing that if any consequences have to be faced, I will simply have to face them as they are and as long as it takes because there is no other way within this when one is subject to processes that I have no control over other than doing my part which is getting this document done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off when things go out of what I have initially considered they would go through/ as,  which implies having created a time frame for some other particular task, without realizing that I should have actually done this one written document long time ago and that it is my responsibility to now ensure that I use every bit of time to get to everything that I have to do, instead of wasting my time getting pissed off and irritated at everything and everyone because of my own dead corpse of procrastination.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an energetic experience over procrastination as this further anxiety because ‘things are accumulating’ without realizing that I am the only one that is accumulating them as thoughts of what I have to do, instead of just doing it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to blame others for the decisions made and try and project my own anger and frustration toward me due to not having done the things that I had agreed to do a long time ago.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated because of having had music again the whole fucking day yesterday, wherein I go into a powerless mode because of not being able to go and shut people up so that I can have my peace and quietness to be able to write.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to waste another day and not write because of considering that the music/ noise from neighbors is absolutely irritating and impossible to write when having that constant sound.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even get irritated at someone arriving home earlier today and within this fearing that the noise will come through the interview and believe that ‘they should not fucking be here’ which is plain control-freak that wants peace and silence in order to please me and my ideals of having a quiet weekend.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wake up with a bad mood today because of things not going as I expected and within this, get irritated at everything, and everyone without considering that I am only acting out and lashing out my own energetic experience of anger and frustration for the accumulated procrastination toward points in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated because of things not being done according to how they were planned and agreed to be done, within this becoming inflexible and irritated because ‘things are not going the way that we decided and agreed to do them,’ without realizing that I am simply using this as an excuse to lash out and project my own irritation because of not having planed my life with my reality-responsibilities in order to be prepared and have everything done by now to then be absolutely ready and steadfast for anything that is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately neglect the consequences that I would have to face in real-time reality based on my procrastination to not get this particular scholar task done and within this, having to postpone everything else that I wanted to do for undefined time in order for me to ensure that I can in fact leave with having everything sorted out.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage myself and my own departure based on my own procrastination due to me wanting to leave but at the same time creating deliberate obstacles in my reality that make it impossible for me to leave, even thought everything else is ready and the one that I am only waiting for is myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated at my own deliberate self-sabotage because ‘I knew what I was doing all the way’ and I didn’t stop, which places into perspective the actual Evil that we are and do to ourselves in order to make our lives more complicated simply because of accepting and allowing dishonesty from our side.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to miss breathing the moment that I simply get knowledge and information as having to ‘rush’ something without considering that any ‘rush’ can only exist as an energetic starting point to do things, which obviously always will carry out a consequences – thus

When and as I see myself rushing to do something and wanting to get it done as fast as possible – I stop and I breathe until I see that I am in fact being here stable and the movement within my physical body is not that of an anxious movement and strain, but is in fact a self-movement here as breath. Within this, realizing that I can only direct one point at a time and that I require to establish a routine that makes it practical and physically possible for me to do every single point every single day – and within this, also not accepting and allowing further manipulation to want to stop doing something to do that other thing, based on preferences or specific values given to one or another task, as I see and realize that that which will become part of my daily schedule, is all equally relevant and important.

 

Within this, I see and realize that the rush that I experienced this morning was because of having an unexpected notice and within this, having my little plans ruined because of believing that I would ‘still have time’ to work on this written project that I have been procrastinating, without realizing that such project should have been done by now and that the only way I will get this done is through simply doing it and stop whining about it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of this task this ‘huge’ obstacle in my reality based on and directly proportional to the amount of time I didn’t direct it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that the consequences are for myself yes, but also toward everything and all – and that this is actually depending on me and how I am able to stop the energetic experience toward my own procrastination and simply focus on what is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience toward things going ‘out of plan’ without realizing that If I had in fact lived my life according to doing things in the time that I had also ‘planned’ to do, I would not be existing in such an energetic rush and anxiety because this is only the consequential outflow of my own procrastination and deliberate postponement to do things – the consequence is thus me having to simply do all things required without making an experience about it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the thinking ‘I don’t want to see anyone today’ wherein I am simply wanting to lash out onto people in my reality what I am experiencing within me due to having to face the consequences of what I’ve done, which is unacceptable since that is how I have criticized people as well, when they behave in absolute anger and irritation to people without the other people they are communicating with having anything to do with the person’s mood and personal frustration/ anger/ irritation thus

 

When and as I see myself wanting to lash out and be irritated at people in my environment as a way to show and reveal that ‘I am pissed off at myself’ I stop  and I breathe – I realize that this is actually rather foolish and stupid to do since who we are is already the accumulated and manifested consequence of having wasted our lives and time in entertainment and the feel good experiences of the mind which are now here to be faced as the time that I could have used to work on my task/project/ document, instead of now existing as an energetic experience of anger toward ‘the world’ as a way for me to blame and exert my reactions instead of taking responsibility for them, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to even get irritated by the presence of someone at home when it is supposed to be ‘all quiet and empty’ in order to satisfy my desires to have no noise around me, which has become a rather constant point of desire that I will surely have to get to, because it’s being also the source of anger and irritation because of people constantly playing music in the house or in the neighborhood, which makes it impossible for me to record interviews, but at the same time, I see that it is a point of me wanting to control my environment instead of realizing that I have no possibility of doing that, and that if I want absolute silence I then have to wake up in the middle of the night to have a relative silence around.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be irritated at someone cleaning in the house which reveals the absolute nonsensical way of existing as the mind, since I would get pissed off if people do not clean and now I get pissed off because someone is cleaning and ‘making too much noise’ – within this I realize to what extent one can utilize anything, virtually ‘anything’ outside of oneself to blame and project anger toward without a cause but our own self-created experience of anger and irritation that is only existent within ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am becoming my father when it comes to being constantly irritated and angry when things are not working ‘my way’ and be an absolute ‘sweet and loving person’ when things are going my way, which reveals the absolute disparity that I am allowing within myself based on the external environment and how it suits my preferences and desires/needs, instead of seeing and realizing how I have to take responsibility for myself and what I have created within me also as these energetic experiences of anger and irritation according to wanting to control my world and having things always working ‘my way’ and within my desired ‘time frame,’ without realizing that I have already imposed too much of myself as self interest toward my day to day living.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use another person as a reflection of myself to justify the anger and irritation as something ‘genetic’ without realizing that I also learned from looking at my father how he would go into anger and frustration and further retaliation toward others whenever things would not go his way, within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience frustration as that surge of energy that I am just waiting to lash out on others, so that others can be aware of me being angry and somehow seek some misery-is-company type of words and attitude as a confirmation to me being ‘right’ in getting angry

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect my physical body throughout all of this and that I have not been diligent enough with myself in order to be breathing and Here as I direct points and situations, and that missing out on breath and missing out time and space that I could have used to work on my project is simply no longer here and that the only point I can do is giving it direction along with any other commitment  I have agreed upon doing. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get very sleepy as I write this and want to just shut down and go to sleep, without realizing that this is a defense mechanism in order for me to simply not continue realizing that this has been a key-aspect within my reality: how I have become this replica of what I would see my father do and that would actually bother me quite a bit, which is lashing out anger upon others and not taking self-responsibility for it. Thus

 

When and as I see myself wanting to lash out my anger toward others and not take responsibility for this single moment of preparing myself to ‘present’ myself in a particular way toward another being – I stop and I breathe  I realize that this is the moment wherein I have to ensure that I sort out and deal with my own reactions through self forgiveness and self corrective application as this is the only way wherein I ensure that I stop the abuse that I’ve imposed on myself as my reactions being passed onto others that certainly have nothing to do with it – and even if they did, I realize that I have to work on the point of not getting angry at them as an energetic experience, but simply point out something in common sense and at all times considering not only my own preferences and considerations, but what is best for all and within this, I realize that I cannot ‘know’ what’s best for all when I am existing in an energetic experience in my mind as within that I will only continue doing that which satisfies my energetic experience which  – as evil as it sounds – is wanting to intimidate and make other feel guilty for whatever reason, without realizing that this is certainly not the way to go, as I am only projecting onto others that which I am doing to myself /as myself.

I breathe – here and walk the points as required within Self Responsibility – I stop the blame and anger projected onto anything and anyone in my reality and assist and support myself instead to realize that there is only one solution to this all: just doing what is required to be done.

 

Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments in the following post.

 

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Interviews about projecting onto others what we experience within ourselves:


169. Imagination as a Distraction to Not Do things

When it comes to walking the procrastination character in relation to imagination, I could see myself having both positive and negative projections wherein within ‘playing’ with both, I would end up simply being entertained in the mind by either/or with no physical / tangible doing that would mean a single decision to get things done, such as just writing it out.

Thus as much as imagination would be linked to facing a point of fear in relation to the task at hand, the positive imagination would be me convincing myself of what I could instead do to not have to face the point of actually just doing it.

 

A specific thought among others is when I think of me being at the office of my professor and waiting for a verdict on my paper wherein such single image of the office is linked with a negative energy experience that I have created a resistance toward due to thinking and believing that the word ‘revision’ means doing it all over again several times. I explained the thought of ‘the office’ in the previous blog linked to fear of having to confront my ideas with another person – hence the thought would become an actual play out of events in my mind which is more in the realm of imagination of how it would go finally facing the point and how I would direct myself in the situation:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a resistance to actually doing the written document due to this single thought of me sitting in front of my professor’s chair at his office and waiting for a verdict on the current state of the work, hoping for it to go well without realizing that with me creating this single thought and going into the imagination of him telling me that it is either ‘done’ or ‘requires a lot of re-writing to be done,’ I create an actual resistance to do anything at all – this means that whether my imagination is positive or negative about it, I remain entertained only in my mind about it instead of actually physically doing it.

 

When and as I see myself entertaining myself in my mind with regards to a positive or negative feedback upon my work, I stop and I breathe – I realize that what is being created in my mind is of no substance other than my own thoughts that are built upon a future projection of me having ‘finished the work,’ which is precisely what needs to be directed by me in physical reality.

 

I realize that I will invariably have to face such imagination-point as an actual event of going for revisions and that in no way do I require to create an expectation about it being good or bad – I assist and support myself to remain here as breath when and as I approach the office/ the person and take things as breath, ensuring that I do not try to make things only ‘my way’ but am open to perspectives/ constructive criticism that can in fact assist and support me to expand my current view/ perspective on the point.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word ‘revision’ to a negative experience wherein I believe that I will have to re-do everything again and link this ‘re-doing’ to the ‘worst case scenario’ that I participate in within my mind, without realizing that this fear is actually me preventing me from actually doing anything at all.

 

Thus, when and as I see myself imagining the moment of revision of my work and being anxious and nervous while having him reading the whole thing, expecting for the worst to happen, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am able and capable of supporting myself to remain here as breath, realize that I can only hear and be willing to co-operate within going through the written document as many times as required in order to have everything done in a suitable manner, without creating any stress or anger for having to repeat the whole thing/ repeat some parts as I see and realize that this is part of doing this work thus

I commit myself to stop any fear and imaginary play outs of the worst case scenario as having to repeat myself several times, which I see is a possibility within the nature of the current task at hand – and that in no way do I require to create a negative experience toward it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a future projection of be expecting ‘the worst’ within the imagination-rolling of this thought of the office wherein I play out a hypothetical situation of me having to re-do the whole thing over and over and over again, getting frustrated about it and this is so without realizing that with me simply giving Into this thinking and imagination processes, I am in fact giving permission for me to eventually really go through this,  as I am being the creator of myself and my reality, believing that I somehow had to ‘face’ such points in order to see ‘who I am’ within them, which is absolutely Not necessary as I can simply decide to stop all future projections in the negative realm of it all ‘going wrong,’ stop all resistances and fears in one single moment and actually do the doing as an actual doing as point of Self Movement that must take place by my own physical decision to type and write it out.

When and as I see myself rolling the thought of the office into an imaginary moment of having to confront my work with another being, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is me sabotaging myself with no substance to it other than entertaining myself in the mind instead of actually doing – thus

I commit myself to stop going into imagination about future projecting the confrontation/ presentation of my work with other beings and as such, assist and support myself to be here as breath throughout the entire process, as I see and realize that going into nervousness, anxiety or frustration leads nowhere but having to eventually do it all over again no matter what, as I realize that this has to be done and there is no other way around it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have the imagination of being in the room of examination with all professors and having them asking the question ‘what does this all have to do with your career’? which is a primary imagination play out due to my own backchat toward my career choice and my belief that I am betraying ‘my vocation’ by now being dedicated more to the study of the human mind and not so much in the creative process of visual arts, without realizing that we use our mind to create and as such there is no possibility to dissociate a physical externalization as an ‘expression’ of ourselves without making use of the mind.

Thus I realize that this self-creation process is of course as relevant as any other aspect/ consideration within any expression, as it is an externalization of who we are/ how we are existing as the mind.

When and as I see myself going into imagination of that moment of having to confront my work and receive criticism for it not being ‘visual arts related,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that there’s no sense of going into this thoughts and participate within it as it is only based on fear and further backchat that I’ve had toward my own career and current interests in life, which can be certainly equally supported by both activities, as both points are related to who we are as humans and as such, there’s no need to create a dissonance around this in my mind any further.

 

I commit myself to stick to the physical, common-sense reality that is here for me to walk and direct myself in, wherein I do not require to imagine the whole thing ‘being done’ as I can only stick to writing it and working on it as a physical action in the moment, as I see and realize that imagining possible outcomes with it serves no purpose but distraction in relation to the actual work that requires to be done.

— to be continued

 

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Blogs:

Character Dimensions – BACKCHAT Dimension (Part 3): DAY 169

Day 169: After Death Communication – Part 18

 

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Eye Twitching – The Body as Teacher


141. Making it or Breaking it

Stopping the conditions we have imposed to everything that we do, say and think as either positive or negative through aligning ourselves to always do, act, say, think that which is best for all, leading to an equal and one successful outcome not as a positive experience, but as the certainty of what is functional, viable and livable in a consistent and trust worthy manner as a practical system to implement on Earth that benefits all beings equally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define everything I do within the polarity of making it or breaking it, where I am reducing what I am in every moment to a chain of events that can only accumulate to create an experience in my mind of being ‘correct’ and ‘incorrect’ as the winning and losing that I I had imposed to that which I do as an automatic thinking of reality and what I do. 

When and as I see myself defining what I do  according to projecting an outcome as either success or failure, winning/losing, being acclaimed/booed, being liked/disliked, praised/abhorred I stop and I breathe – I realize that the moment that I immediately create the making it or breaking it projection upon the moment of actually walking a point, is an imposition that can only exist as thoughts in my mind that I can immediately stop –

I commit myself to live the realization that supporting the ideology of making it or breaking as an invisible inherent pattern upon everything that I do, is in fact a dictatorship upon the expression and living realization of something that we decide to practically live and do based on the principles of what is best for all, wherein all that we are will be defined according to an accumulation of thoughts, words and deeds directed to create, be and do that which is best for all at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate beginning with a certain task because of already projecting myself within an outcome of either making it or breaking it, already going as far as thinking that I will fail and that it will be a tedious process to ‘get back up again,’ or ‘making it’ and then feeling a pressure to ‘keep myself up on the top,’ without realizing that both points as the negative and positive are equally deceptive and self-sabotaging, as I see and realize that both standards can only exist in a hierarchical make-believe value that exists because of how we have configured our world and society based on the ‘who we are’ as our mind, valuing knowledge and information, reducing ourselves to only thinking-machines instead of considering life within everything that we do, which means we would not require to even have such standards as ‘making it or breaking it’ – but simply directing/ doing something and walking it into completion, with all its necessary fine-tunings, try outs, ‘mistakes’ as ways to see what is functional, what suggested to do/follow through and its improvements directed to an actual general living-improvement for all beings equally.

 

When and as I see myself seeking to get a result in a particular task I am beginning and already future projecting onto a certain outcome as either ‘making it or breaking it,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that both polarities stand as points of conflict in and as the parameters of a mind within winning and losing as positive and negative experiences. Thus I direct myself to stop all polarities as expectations of making it or breaking it when working on a particular project, as I realize that working within the starting point of what is best for all implies that there cannot be a success or a failure but simply effective and non effective/ not practical ways to do something. Within this

 

I commit myself to stop all polarities imprinted within the very words as values that indicate a success or a failure as these are words that support the creation of an experience as positivity and negativity upon our words, thoughts and deeds as things that accumulate to either make us a winner or a loser. I realize that when living through and as the principle of what is best for all, one cannot define what we do within the same old parameters that have created this entire world as a winning and losing arena, but instead look at thoughts, words and deeds as the reflection of ourselves and how we are able to direct ourselves to create, develop and promote what is best for all, which is how all can equally benefit from everyone’s thoughts, words and deeds and as such, create an actual living ground for all other living beings on Earth.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize how I had created a measuring point of winning and losing/ being successful or a failure within everything that I do, going into a point of frustration as negativity if things ‘don’t go my way’ and generating the opposite experience as positivity if I am able to ‘do things my way,’ which means that I had defined my own mind-dictatorship upon reality as something that I could manipulate to suit me or not at mind level, without realizing that: when working, living, breathing and existing from/ as the starting point of equality and oneness here as Life, there is no need to create either a positive or negative experience out of an outcome/ result of an application based on the principle of what’s best for all, as I see that a positive experience supports the same hierarchical system of values as this world system wherein for something to be successful in the current terms of how this word exists, others have to deliberately lose/ have a negative experience and not ‘making it’ – thus

 

When and as I see myself measuring myself as my activities and projects according to winning and losing, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am imposing  a mind hierarchy upon my every-day living participation, which is in fact being a dictator upon my reality which is what must be realized as such in order to understand that I do not require to Think or create an experience upon my daily tasks, projects and future practical planning, instead of going into suppression of the positive and negative through only wanting to expect to ‘win’ at all times.

 

I commit myself to change the starting point of everything that I do/make, say, think to always consider what is best for all, wherein the necessary actions and decisions are made to ensure that such principle is lived and is practically functional within such projects/ future plans, as I see and realize that it is only through setting an equal value to all and everything that we do as equally ‘important’ that we can stop looking at our own thoughts, words and deeds as tools to earn money/ lose money as winning or losing, as the positive and negative experience that we have conditioned ourselves to when living in a world where life is not unconditionally supported, but instead made a business that we all ‘strive to’ be a part of for our own personal benefit – instead, we change the starting point so that we are always educating ourselves, doing, thinking and projecting only that which is best for all, as there will be no more ‘rewards’ that can create a sense of success above others, but only create at all times that which will have an impact to better the lives of all beings on Earth.

 

I realize that in an equality system, everything will be measured according to the ability and capability of a point being practical, livable, trustworthy in its application as that which will produce a result that is constantly and continuously best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that creating an experience out of a basic practical activities is enslaving ourselves to always expect either a reward as the positive experience or a ‘loss’ as negative experience wherein we instead act out of fear of losing instead of acting as the self-directed living principle to support ourselves and others in common sense as doing, saying and living what will be supportive for all life in equality.

When and as I see myself wanting to immediately assess a point of failure and success as an experience to either feel good about myself or bad about what I’ve done, I stop and I breathe, I realize that I was only then considering MY point of satisfaction/ dissatisfaction instead of always ‘keeping in mind’ that I am here to be,do, say and speak that which is best for all beings in Equality.

I realize that the fear of failure and fear to ‘lose’ any position of success stand as the polarity of fear fueling the desire to obtain that ‘glorious’/ positive experience as an external point of motivation to keep going/continue existing just as a mind-pattern that in no way supports Life on Earth, but is only a system of survival wherein no physical-equality measures exist yet, as products, jobs, activities are currently being measured according to the ability to create ‘quality products’ that equate ‘great profit’ – wherein such great quality might stem from an actual job of slave labor.

Thus I commit myself to ensure that as we go creating, building, manufacturing and venturing ourselves to create an equal and one supportive standard for all activities and points to do in this world,  to ensure that all activities/ projects are in fact done through and by the standard of what is best for all, wherein no more useless homework, tasks, projects are wasted time and effort upon, but to actually consider educating children – and adults at this stage as well – to recognize our ability to create/ do/ generate what’s best for all as the inherent starting point of everything we do,  depending on what is available, sustainable and supportive to do and direct, having a best for all impact upon the community/ people/ environment/ beings that will be affected by such decisions and choices made.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having defined all that I’ve done as being living ‘for something’/ to get ‘something/ someone’ as a positive experience in separation of myself, instead of first focusing on me equalizing all activities, all tasks that I do in an equal manner, wherein no task is immediately labeled as either prone to be a ‘winner’ or a ‘loser,’ a ‘success’ or a failure.’

 

When and as I see myself only living to ‘get a result,’ to aim at an objective, to only ‘be productive,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that these are ingrained patterns that I exist as, and as such it is to really be here grounded as breath to not allow ourselves to waver and thinking that something is immediately a success or a failure as a positive or negative outcome  from the get-go, which is actually a self-sabotage point that I stop here to realize that every practical point that we venture ourselves to implement will have its points to correct, its initial flaws and corrections/ fine tunings to make, as this is the first time that we are doing this self-realization living-decision in an existential level in the physical –thus it is to be aware of ourselves not immediately giving up or going ‘overboard’ when having a point that works/ is successful and the same with something that doesn’t initially work/ fails initially, as I see and realize that one could only give up upon these results if one is only interested in winning7 getting something out of it for personal benefit immediately, instead of actually being committed to live and created what is best for all.

 

I see and realize that this is the actual practical way and path required to walk through in order to get something done, wherein everything that we do is not result-driven, and instead considering the actual process of doing so being equally important, as I realize that when we equalize everything and all within who we are and what we do as what’s best for all, there is no need to judge any point or activity as being more/ less than, being a success or a failure as all will be measured according to that which is best for all, that which supports life and within that, only that which is harmful and deliberately detrimental to life will be discontinued as a deliberate decision that is common sensical at all times.

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the basic foundation to create a world in equality, wherein everyone will be supported unconditionally so that we as human beings can focus on developing the best ways and systems that can be implemented on Earth to support life in equality, thus there will be no success or failure, as such points were based mostly on winning/ losing money to live – thus Equal Money is the key to ensure that there is no more positive or negative experiences required from our self-movement in our world, but instead simply focus at all times on doing what is best for all.

 

Join us to walk the process of equalizing ourselves as life in the physical, wherein all conflict/ success created at a mind level is stopped, self forgiven and self-directed to an equal and one outcome wherein life is ensured to be equalized for all beings on Earth.

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Educating ourselves about the world and reality in a never before given explanation about ourselves as the:


129. Will Love and Lighters end up Killing People?

All the positive babble exists as a cover up to the Extreme Fear that exists within ourselves as part of our who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind, which is certainly NOT Benevolent, and this has been explained throughout many, many hours of interviews within the Desteni Material that’s being published on a regular basis – and recorded daily – available at Eqafe. Now, paraphrasing The Soul of Money – Fear and the Law of Attraction – Part 32 How on Earth can we think, believe or perceive that Energy in any way can change this physical existence? And I’m not even going to talk about the Law of Attraction particularly here, but more about the actual fucked up counter-effects that must be realized and taken into absolute consideration in order to Open up our EYES to see what type of hell we’re creating for all equally every time that we indulge to seek for all ‘the good’ and ‘light’ and ‘love’ as peddled by several masters, light workers and your regular Jesus follower – repeat: follower.

 

Disclaimer’s notice:
A punctual fact to avoid misinterpretation and or potential claims of slander: This blog is for the purpose of exposing that which  many human beings are NOT willing to accept exists within our thoughts. This is an educational blog that serves as a point of reference in order to give actual self-support for people that may encounter themselves creating positive feelings to cover up potential Real harm toward other human beings. Assist and support yourself with it instead.

 

Lieght

 

Who we are as the Mind existing in positive and negative thoughts as feelings and emotions?

Let’s look at a white light slim-line tube: electricity bounces back and forth from Cathode – the negatively charged pole –  to the positively charged pole, the Anode. Due to the velocity that the energy bounces back and forth we cannot see this light bolt happening, we only get to see the apparent constant stable beam of milky white light that ‘enlightens’ our night. Now,  this light is exactly similar in nature to the energy we are constantly generating through our participation in the mind, existing as that blinding imposed invisible light that are the thoughts, feelings and emotions; however, the point to realize is how to generate so ever-lasting surrogate company as our mind that experiences life as an energetic sparkle all the time, is actually only able to exist through/by consuming/gnawing our very own physical flesh/tissue in order to generate such a perfect ‘stream of consciousness’ that is our mind, that apparently divine white light that as our thoughts, emotions, feelings and any general mind-activity that is absolutely invisible and intangible to our physical 5 senses – yet, we act upon it and we live according to what goes on in our minds. Hum, what’s wrong with this picture?

 

Why do we practically use light?

We use a light because we don’t want to remain in darkness, we’ve been taught that ‘we must fear the dark’ as children– yet in terms of who we really are as physical beings, darkness is who we are: there is no light inside our body to circulate our blood or digest our food, the body is not afraid of the dark, it is ourselves as the eyes of the mind that perceive light as all the relationships that are existent within our reality, no different to all the thoughts that run rampant in our minds generating a positive or negative experience within ourselves all the time – that’s the ‘light’ of ourselves, that’s our ‘light on’ all the time that we keep ‘on’ because of our ingrained ‘fear  of the dark,’ where everything is pitch black because there is no friction causing light to be seen, there is no movement, just silence, stillness and that’s what we are actually able and capable of  living as in our day-today-living and ‘waking’ reality once that we start walking a process of Self-Forgiveness in Self Honesty to start seeing Who We Are if we stop participating in the constant coming-and-going from cathode to anode as thoughts generating either negative or positive experiences that only exist within ourselves: they are thus Not Real.

 

The Dark as Nothingness

The absence of light is so feared –  there is no energetic spark going back and forth generating enough friction to generate light. We then see the energy as this ‘beautiful light’ yet, we are unaware of the friction that causes and generates this friction in the first place, which is in the case of our own minds creating an entire positive experience that bounces off from an absolute negative point,  which is the current ‘normal’ state of being’ as human beings and also the reason why we are always trying to generate a positive feeling and experience in order to be suddenly ‘lifted up’ from the negative to the positive, without realizing that there is a definitive friction that must be ‘kept in place’ to keep the white light on. The same goes on in our minds.

For further reference listen to: The Soul of Money – The Interconnection between Thoughts, Energy and Light – Part 5

 

Love and Light VS Hate and the Dark

If we have a look at the world, all wars, all conflict, all friction from a single inner-battle in our minds to world-wars is a conflict generated from the perceived positive against the perceived negative that we have acquired/ adopted from those that have gone before us – nothing else but a mere belief system placed to cause deliberate conflict. I strongly suggest you read the blog on Morality written by Esteni De Wet who explains one of the several dimensions that exist as morality, which is one of the primary causes and pillars of our current ‘distress’ that we exist as when having a polarized view of our reality.

 

Everything that is here of this world as physicality just IS – there is no tags or barcodes or statistics that indicate us what is to be seen as positive and what is to be seen and regarded as negative. We are the ones that impose these values that are created in our minds and imposed onto the physical, no different to how we have created our monetary system of ‘profit’ and ‘debt’ while using the constancy and consistency of a physical world to generate the actual ‘goods’ that are sold for profit – not to mention the living beings such as animals that are also part of our self-abusive system. The Earth as nature does have/show ‘negative numbers/ red numbers:’ it is us that are now extracting the resources to the point of depletion that are assessing now an actual physical loss.

And, the question is WHY are we causing this Loss as the physical world that is here? Simple: we are using/  abusing the physical reality in order to generate our Positive experience powered by Lights as the symbol of an apparent civilization that thrives in a ‘shining light’ without ever considering what must be consumed in order to sustain what is and has become an artificial living within our world. Why artificial if everything is ‘Natural’? Because we are using artifacts/ means/ ways to create an apparent comfortable/ joyous/ copious and abundant life out of the inherent and necessary abuse to generate such positivity.

 

Your De-Light is Made out of Someone’s Dis-Grace

An Easy example: how can I now be experiencing the joy of my coffee at the moment? Several indigenous people had to work for months to take care of coffee plants that they are bound to in order to have an ability to take proper care of their plantations, dedicating their days to ensure that the weather and conditions are adequate to keep the plantations in a mint state, so that they can eventually be reaped and seek for a buyer that is willing to take it. This pay is definitely not fair as anything else in this world wherein Money does not equate Life. The coffee cultivators are paid close to nothing for their hard work while the distributer and seller makes an excellent business from it, creating as much as 100 percent of profit – or more – from a job that is certainly not remunerated well at all. Then me as the happy coffee consumerist, go and buy that coffee, being oblivious to the processes behind me having these now roasted beans ready to be brewed into my ‘De.Lightful coffee cup’ – and this is just one single example of EVERYTHING in our world that is built upon abuse, and I didn’t go as far as talking about the lives of the people that cultivate coffee such as:  their financial problems, their lack of education, the lack of money to expand their crops, the lack of understanding of the capitalist world so that they could sell and commercialize their own coffee – YET we are delighted with our coffee cup. This is how a positive experience stems from a negative experience, and this can be applied to all and everyone in our reality.

 

Hence the reason why when talking about bogus like ‘Love’ and ‘Abundance’ and ‘Prosperity’ and ‘Happiness’ and ‘Bliss’ among other words are just euphemisms for the human-driving-force that Money and Sex represent as the ultimate ‘goal’ in any thinking being. How limited have we become: being consumed by a desire to just be a freaking spark as energy bouncing from cathode to anode in the white-light slim line tube that seeks all means and ways to just continue generating that friction in order to produce the majestic white bright light that EnLIEghtens our hearts, and fills us with JOY! Oh great! and… where is the abuse behind this bright blinding light? Everywhere behind the processes of that enchanting delight.

This is how our world is created at the moment.

 

In the next blog, I’ll continue explaining How it is that I am saying that Love and Lighters can become potential Killers if they don’t stop existing as an ultimate positive experience and face their fears, take self responsibility for their positive thoughts and become actual trust-worthy living human beings that can be endowed with actual responsibilities that are in fact honorable and honoring Life in Equality – after all, isn’t that what SHOULD be a Love and Light Principle? Doing what’s Best for All?

There’s a certain difference from thinking positive to DOING/ LIVING/ Acting in the best interest of all – one requires an imaginative high on happy-pills mind to exist and the other one actual physical work and effort to do so.

Sounds like a threat? No, sounds like a wake up call that everyone – including myself of course – must take on to see where and how we are wanting to STICK to our positive experience that SICK-Ends and clouds our common sense to realize that any single moment that we are only going after that which is BEST FOR ME/MYSELF/I only is directly creating a weapon against the whole.
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104. Anger Intimidation in Communication

 
This point is exploring how our ability to communicate is influenced when and as we are in the presence of a person that is clearly possessed by anger and/or in a bad mood, wherein we then mirror the person’s experience as if it was our own and take ‘our position’ within the game/ situation, playing out a character that will most likely in our minds lead us to believe that we were the ones to blame/ we were the cause of the problem, as that ensues a process of becoming the ‘victim’ of another’s mood/ mind possession in order to remain in a ‘good stand’ within our mind, justifying why we didn’t speak up and remain constant and consistent within our application to not participate in any form of emotional blackmail, but instead lead the moment with communicating here as breath, ensuring that we present a solution to the situation/ problem instead of becoming part of the problem by reacting in an emotional manner toward another’s experience.

 

Here I describe a memory of being in the kitchen with my mother and my father getting home to have lunch – the moment I would realize he was in a ‘bad mood,’ I would immediately go into fear and petrification, not wanting to be the ‘target’ of his anger by picking on anything he could to complain about me in any way – this means, taking it personal and becoming influenced by another’s mind possession/ mood in the form of anger in this case.

In such event I eventually spoke to get what I wanted, after having feared speaking and trying to find the ‘right moment to interject,’ while being consumed with anxiety and fear – hence the correction will unfold to point out how the moment we ‘mirror’ another’s experience = we become part of the mind-game and as such, we miss our ability to be self-directive no matter what.

We are able to support another by not participating in their mind-game/ not playing the victim and or try and ‘fight their possession,’ but instead remain here in constancy and consistency in and as breath, creating and establishing solutions instead of adding up to the list of retaliation and further grudge-creation over time.

 

Self Forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to condition my entire communication with another based on the mood they are presenting in the moment, wherein if they are in an angry mode, I would go into immediate fear and quietness in order to not disturb the angry person further, which is how I wrought this idea of myself as being a nuisance because of being the blank in my mind of ‘the angry person exerting it all out on me,’ which is part of how I have manipulated myself throughout my life to not take responsibility for my own suppression and hesitation to express and be self directive – but instead would allow me to simply be a victim of the situation and using it as a form of self pity in order to feel like I had been ‘wronged’ by others, when in fact it was only we reacting to someone else’s anger and fearing anger itself as something that is more than me in the moment, playing the ‘victimized’ character that ‘bears’ the angry person.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become the experience that others are presenting in a moment in my reality, such as if a person was angry or depressed, I would go into self suppressed anger and depression as well, which is how I would immediately give into the character presented in front of me instead of ever standing up in the moment and realizing that I do not have to participate in the same emotional game, but can instead be and remain self-directive at all times with and as myself, understanding that if others exert their anger onto others, it is not to be taken personal, but rather see what is being said and establish a practical solution for the point of irritation, realizing that anger and any other emotion will not change in any way the reality and the points that are being faced in the moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go immediately go into tension the moment that I perceive that my father is angry and that I am ‘on his way’ which means that I can be yelled at for being a nuisance/ an obstacle on his way, which is a metaphorical way to also see how I have played out the pattern of when and as facing the anger/ bad mood of another, I would go into immediate submission and fear instead of standing up in the moment and not allowing myself to be affected by it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in sarcasm with my mother about my father’s mood which became a way to speak out the backchat that would in a way ‘smooth out the moment’ as the actual tension that I would experience when having to be in the presence of my father being angry, as well as the projection I’d made toward my mother of being equally tense, but smoothing it out with jokes/ sarcasm as to make ourselves above the situation, when in fact within doing so, we were giving actual ‘power to it’ fully and completely.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate in sarcasm whenever I see myself facing an uncomfortable situation such as facing someone’s anger, which is a pattern that I have copied from my mother from the situations and moments when we would ‘make fun’ of my father’s hissy fits and laugh about it, which would make him even more angry and silent, which is how I came to fear silence because of not knowing if he would just explode in any given moment or not – yet laughed about the sarcasm as a way to cope with the actual stress and tension in the moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into ‘quiet mode’ and not communicating at all with my father when and I would perceive and see that he is absolutely angry / in a bad mood, which would make me ‘afraid’ of even speaking to him just because of not wanting to be cursed at or yelled at or replied in some angry manner, because of knowing how when he’d be angry, he’s use any point as any ‘flaw’ within me in order to exert his anger onto everyone around him – hence I would keep quiet.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a point of fear and petrification whenever my father was angry at lunch time, because that would mean that any thing that I required to ask him – such as money to buy books/ things I required for school – would be received as a ‘give me give me’ attitude that I knew would be replied with an angry negative answer to my request.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to from the fear of asking something to my father, I would remain instead quiet building up the tension and anxiety doubting every single moment whether I’d be courageous enough to speak to him or not, which would consume my very moment instead of ever considering breathing and simply speaking out, not taking it personal if he did eventually exert his anger onto me.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to ‘find the right moment to interject,’ without realizing that there were Not going to be any ‘right moment,’ as all such moment was simply going to remain in a tense status quo that I simply had to break-through in the moment by actually voicing myself and my request toward him.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define my entire beingness according to being in the presence of an angry person, such as my father, and as such mimic the person’s experience and make it my own, wherein I then became just a supporter of the mind possession by actually fearing to interact with another that is and was clearly mind possessed in anger and frustration.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to whenever I felt ‘helpless’ within a situation, turn to my mother for answers, simply because I could not see myself as having equal authority toward myself and my own life, wherein I wanted her to ‘soothe out’ the moment with my father instead of me simply directing my request to him and talking without any fear about what I required in that moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to decide to remain silent and quiet whenever there was a situation of ‘anger’ within another, which is how I became submissive toward people that would go into anger with great ease, simply because of fearing that such anger would be exerted toward me with ‘rough words’ that I would immediately react to in sadness and anger within myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into guilt whenever I had to ask my father for money when I knew that he had not have a good day at work, because that would make me feel like a nuisance that had to be ‘paid for,’ and as such remaining quiet and not wanting to complain and be as ‘cooperative’ as possible by going into absolute silence and conforming to not speak – which I would only breakthrough if the need was absolutely necessary in that moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a load toward my father, and believing that because I was asking him for money I was in fact adding myself up to his ‘problems,’ which I used as a a justification and excuse to think and believe that it would be better for me to not exist/ not wanting others to spend money on my living, which is a pattern that I took as a form of ‘austerity’ in a self-deprecating way.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself in everything I would do simply because of the fear of not wanting to be an economical nuisance to my father since I was a child, thus becoming overtly self-conscious about my expenses and being extremely aware of how to spend my money and handling it with fear as if it was ‘more’ than myself, simply because of how I would see that the lack of money would create a lot of stress in my father, and I simply didn’t’ want to be part of the problem – thus I would refrain and abstain myself from asking more than whatever I really needed, which I didn’t take in common sense but as a form of repression and fear, which became my relationship toward money and the relationship toward my father as the ‘financial supporter’ in my life.

 

 

Self Corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself going into suppression because of how I perceive another to be angry or in a bad mood and ready to burst it out onto others, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I do not have to mimic another’s mind possession but instead direct myself to communicate here as breath if it is ultimately necessary to speak and as such, be able to support another indirectly to see that there is no point in keeping oneself in anger as there can be no solutions in anger to solve/ fix that which one is angry about

 

When and as I see myself deciding not to speak to another due to how I see they are mind possessed in anger, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this decision is being made out of fear of being shouted/ yelled at which is just a point of fear that I created for myself in order to stand then as a victim, which was getting into another character to not face the fact that I had in fact become another’s emotional reaction as well- thus I support myself to speak whenever I require to do so, not giving more ‘power away’ to the person that is angry, but directing myself in common sense at all times, as I see that within me stopping playing out the counter act character, I am in fact assisting and supporting another/ others to see that it is unnecessary to react in anger if there is an actual solution that can be walked and implemented by all participants in common sense.

 

When and as I see myself taking another’s anger as something personal/ directed toward me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that all emotions and feelings are in fact self created – thus it is always about the creator and their responsibility over their own experiences, which is then how I realize that in no way do I have to ‘follow the game’ of anger and emotional blackmail in order to conduct a particular situation as that only leads to further character creation.

 

Therefore, I assist myself to simply speak and communicate as usual and not give into another’s negative expression/ reactions in the moment.

 

When and as I see myself immediately going into a physical tension and self-suppression when facing someone that is angry, I stop and I breathe, I realize that in me reacting physically toward another’s mood/ anger in this case is just supporting the character and in no way enabling the other person to actually see the character for what it is and eventually, step out of the possession if they are willing to take responsibility for themselves as I take responsibility for me not acting-along with the moody character

 

When and as I see myself going into victimization according to how I have believed and perceived that I am ‘standing on someone’s feet’ as in being a nuisance, an obstacle or plain annoying in another’s presence while and during their mind possession I stop and I breathe – I realize that any form of suppression I would use as a way to then justify my own self-victimization and further spitefulness toward those that I had victimized myself from – therefore I see and realize that there is no point in participating in anger and sadness and further fear with others possessed by such emotions, but instead direct me to keep my application practical at all times without following an emotional drift toward it.

 

When and as I see myself being sarcastic about another’s angry mood as a means to smooth the tension and self-suppression, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I would do this in order to feel good about myself, as if I was ‘over the anger’ by being able to make fun of it, without realizing that in this I simply developed yet another character in order to cope with others and their reality of becoming absolutely angry/ pissed off in a given moment.

 

When and as I see myself fearing to speak and communicate out fear of making another even more angry or ‘blowing things up,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that within me fearing, I give absolute space for another’s mind possession to fully take place as I am then suppressing me and becoming ‘the victim’ that will then find ways to ‘out do’ such repression, which can only come as just another form of abuse wherein life is still not considered, because the moment we allow ourselves to carry anger as a constant experience within ourselves and toward others, we can only expect such anger to consume the being until the being is no more, as the being can only continue if taking responsibility for the words being said and communicated.

 

When and as I see myself conditioning my expression based on how I perceive another’s mood in the moment, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the moment I refrain and suppress myself from expressing based on ‘how I perceive them’ in the moment is me only giving into the character play outs that support each other in order to maintain a point of conflict with no solution, instead of actually being a point of support and example of how it is perfectly possible to solve a problem and situation by giving it proper direction in common sense, instead of becoming another player in the game – this implies at all times sticking to common sense and practical solutions to show and reveal how no anger will make any difference to a situation or event that requires a solution, but that it is only through stopping the emotional reaction that one can in fact establish practical directions to walk and create solutions to the problems.

 

When and as I see myself trying to find the ‘right moment to interject’ in a communication, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is another excuse to remain in the victimized state wherein I believe that another must ‘give me the right moment to speak,’ which is allowing another’s possession and character to be ‘more’ than myself in any given moment/ situation. Thus I direct myself to speak and communicate in the moment whatever I require to say as I make the space for myself to be heard in the moment – within this I also see and realize that I am able to be indirectly supporting another to see how throwing tantrums, getting angry and being irritated/ in a bad mood does not solve any situation and that it all can instead be walked in a normal chat wherein solutions can be practically established and placed into action.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to give up a point of communication due to fearing that someone will exert their anger on me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within me suppressing and ‘saving my expression for later’ is an act of giving into the mind and the fear experienced to communicate with someone that is anger, in fear of being the target of such extreme anger which is just another excuse used to not stand up in the moment and make myself heard and be clear and direct within the point of communication that is absolutely possible breath by breath and not giving into any form of emotional blackmail through the ‘possessed in anger’ person.

 

When and as I see myself feeling ‘helpless’ in a situation wherein I am in the presence of a person that is possessed in anger or in a bad mood, I stop and I breathe – I realize that me deciding not to speak or hesitate in my expression is accepting another’s possession as real and such, I become part of the game wherein the one in anger has the most ‘positive experience’ as an ability to control the environment over those that only usually ‘react’ in fear toward such anger – which implies that within me stopping existing as anger when participating with a person that is angry or in a bad mood, I allow myself to become part of the solution in the moment wherein words, communication in common sense is able to be expressed without the requirement of any emotional or feeling input.

 

When and as I see myself victimizing myself toward others based on them being ‘angry’ and seeing myself indirectly as the cause of such anger, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is part of the self-victimization pattern that I have played out wherein I could simply play the victim in order to not have to actually stand up and direct myself to speak and communicate – but instead remain in a subservient mode toward another in order to apparently ‘not cause any further problems,’ without realizing that all problems have a beginning and an end within ourselves, as ourselves. Thus I stop playing out the same pattern and direct myself to see how I can direct the point in simplicity and common sense, presenting solutions at all times instead of reacting and adding myself up to ‘the problematic situation’ perceived and played out only by characters in the moment.

 

When and as I see myself creating a relationship of fear toward money and fearing making others angry because of the amount of money spent on me, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is the victimization character wherein I would give into being the ‘oppressed’ and ‘victim’ in order to not actually take self responsibility for myself and do what is required to support me effectively, which is how any form of possession can instead be called out, communicated in common sense and establish proper communication, instead of numbing and covering up such communication with anger and hissy fits that support no one.

 

I commit myself to always establish myself as the voice that is able to point out common sense and give practical solutions without participating in any emotional or feeling reaction in any given situation, as this is the type of stability and common sense that is required to embody at all times in a world where conflict is and has been that which feeds ourselves as minds submerged in conflict and problems, which is how when and as presenting solutions as ourselves, we start taking responsibility for our own experiences and actions to see how it is possible to in fact live in a completely new way wherein we are in fact supporting each other to become more effective in our day to day living, instead of just reacting about it and blowing a problem out of proportion as it usually goes on in the mind.

 

Thus I stop all mirror neuron activity of becoming empathic about another’s mood and as such, commit myself to remain here as breath as the sanity required in a world of madness, which begins and stops within myself.

 

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103. Being efficient out of Fear!

This is a continuation of the past post:

102: Communication Noise: Parental Communication

This is to see how an entire character was formed from participating in a positive polarity toward everything that I would do with my father, whereas I would judge as negative everything that I would do with my mother. Hence all attributes that I saw within my father in my mind became ‘the positive’ to experience whereas everything related to mother became ‘the negative’ that I had to ensure I would not become equal to, as that would mean being essentially ineffective to live in the system of money. Yes, sir, fear of survival as a childhood imprint in such a seemingly ‘innocent’ event such as going to the supermarket. 

Here I walk the memory of how I would generally experience myself throughout an entire event – going to the supermarket alone with my father – which I have stored as a positive experience due to the sense of ‘liberation’ that I would get from being able to do things ‘fast and accurate’ with my father, wherein the ‘slowness’ of my mother would not tamper our hyper-act of buying as if there was something/ someone chasing after us.

 

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say ‘yes’ to do something based on a memory of doing that something being generally fun and a time to spend with my father alone, which I had identified as a cool opportunity to do things fast which I have associated with something positive in my life

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe and perceive that I am enjoying a moment with my father based on doing things that are generally things that we would not do if we were going out with my mother as well, which means that all my starting point of enjoying a moment with my father is based on doing everything that my mother would apparently not allow us to do such as speeding in the car.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to be like my father in terms of being meticulous, accurate, disciplined and generally fast to do things, which is something that I have associated as a positive experience within me, which is linked to how this entire world system appreciates ‘speed’ as a general positive attribute due to how it contributes to earning the most in the least time possible, which I see then how I lived this when and while growing up/ going to school wherein all forms of discipline are essentially created in order to get used to a world system wherein time means money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generally consider that I enjoyed being more with my father because we both agreed that my mother was rather slow and ‘inefficient’ according to our judgments, which is how we would team up in order to go to the supermarket and get things done as fast as possible, while the usual spoken backchat was in relation to how If we would have gone with my mother/his wife, we would have stayed there for hours instead, as way to exemplify how he was ‘more efficient’ than my mother.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider my father’s routine as something positive, because through routines a form of trust is developed, wherein you believe that the person will always remain ‘safe in their bounds’ which is a positive attribute according to the system that is based on creating patterns in people to keep everyone safely entertained/ occupied within their own lives, not looking at reality and what is going on in the ‘greater picture.’

 

I realize that I had in essence been a fervent fan of all types of systematic indoctrination, just because I was brought up in a way wherein rules, regulations and terms became a focal aspect within me, wherein I cultivated a sense of ‘correctness’ as a form of proud, which I can see I copied and learned from my father – whereas my mother represented the ‘cheating’ aspect of the system, the ‘less rigid’ version of a human being in this world system.

 

Thus, through me establishing a positive experience toward my father or general inclination toward him, I aligned myself to the system as a ‘positive experience’ based on the ideals of efficiency and accuracy that I had defined him to be.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to agree to his suggestion on ‘me having to be/ become like him,’ implying that I had to avoid becoming like my mother representing the ‘negative aspect’ as the inefficiency/ inaccuracy within the system’s perspective which I then vowed to antagonize within the consideration that whatever was presented by and as the system’s rules and regulations was in fact ‘what’s best for me,’ hence developing a polarized association between my father and mother which lead me to an unequal relationship with them based on ‘who I wanted to be’ within the system, which at the time when I was a child was more associated with becoming someone successful and powerful within the financial world/ economics / banking skills as that’s what I was playing with as a child.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to get a positive experience out of the fear that I would usually experience with my father’s meticulous approach to everything he did, wherein I would essentially in my mind be fearful of fucking things up yet at the same time getting a positive experience out of it, which is what has been explained in Heaven’s Journey to Life  wherein we also get a positive experience out of fear.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate a relationship of fear toward beings that I perceived as being ‘more accurate’ than me in practical-physical points such as going to the supermarket in no time and getting everything done in a fast and accurate way, which I have associated with a positive experience, which is what I sought in a partner as well: to be like my father in terms of being meticulous, accurate, clean, precise and confident with a certain rush at all times to do everything, which is what manifested to the T with a long relationship that I had without every really seeing or realizing that I had in fact gotten so used to his character because it was in essence almost identical to my father’s character.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also experience fear whenever I was being told how to do things, fearing being fucking everything up which is how I experienced myself with my father when going to the supermarket and being told how to place things on the cart, how to go isle by isle looking for things, how to not stand as an obstacle in front of people, how to hurry yet not be clumsy when moving.

 

I realize that I in fact would experience such tension and fear that it became a positive experience for me, which is the reason why I would immediately decide to go with my father to the supermarket- same with friend/ partner going out with him wherever he had to go, because of enjoying that general constant tension of rushing and getting things done in ‘no time’ with them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel dumb when being told how to do things, which was part of me fearing becoming like my mother whom I had judged as clumsy, slow and ineffective without realizing that this is just a polarity manifestation that I created in order to have a constant point of friction as inclination and rejection toward my parents in means of just keeping a point of conflict in place within my life, to keep me in separation of my mother.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience toward my father talking to himself about the products that he had to get, which I found quite cool and generally ‘crazy’ for an adult his age, which would make me laugh and also see how he acted in a generally ‘odd manner’ that I found amusing, later on catching myself doing the same things and loading the entire super market character, just because of how I had identified this general rush in the supermarket as a positive experience.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a general positive experience to orderly and high speed buying of groceries, wherein I never questioned why we were rushing anyways if we were heading home, if rushing would in no way make any substantial difference to our day – but instead because of how I had walked the entire process of ‘rushing’ to go to the supermarket as a general ‘tonality’ for the experience, I never questioned it, and I simply rode the wave of tension, anxiety, and general fear at times when going out with my father, feeling slightly uncomfortable in fear of not doing something right or as accurate as he expected me to be and do – however I was willing to learn how to be like him at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear doing things the wrong way as that would generate anger and frustration within him, which I would judge then as a negative experience that I had to avoid at all cost – thus I made sure that I remained ‘in line’ with everything he did and doing ‘my best’ to please him in my every move in coordination with him, when for example taking the products out of the trolley and organizing them according to the type of product they were on the band so that the cashier would have it easy to pass them through the scan/ registry machine – within this doing ‘my best’ out of fear essentially.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider it amicable and generally ‘nice’ to pick up a conversation with the cashier in order to apparently ‘smooth things out,’ which implies that I had associated that point as a counter act to what I would perceive as a tension point which is standing in the queue to pay and having to get everything in bags ready to go, which is obviously only a belief system that I created based on how I would observe my father going into a higher tension when having to pay and then getting everything ready to leave/ storm out the place.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience out of going to the supermarket with my father based on the general conceptions and associations of speed, effectiveness and accuracy as something ‘positive’ in this world, which I then wanted to be a part of even if that involved having to go through tension, anxiety, fear and general stress/ tension that would be created within me throughout the supermarket experience with my father.

This allows me to see and confirm how I was in essence having a positive experience out of situations of self-abuse, as for me to exist in such stress, anxiety and fear, I had to consume my physicality to power such adrenaline which stems from fear – thus ‘going to the supermarket’ was like going on a rollercoaster ride.

 

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Self corrective Statements:

When and as I see myself automatically saying ‘Yes’ to someone in relation to going somewhere specific, I stop and I breathe – I allow myself to look again at the motivation for it and if I find a positive experience being created in my mind – such as the experience I would get when being asked to go to the supermarket with my father, I realize that such positive input for an activity is not here as self but based on memories –therefore I stop and allow myself to reconsider whether I actually want to participate or not in a particular event or activity.

 

When and as I see myself believing and perceiving that I am in fact having a ‘good time’ as a positive experience, I stop and I breathe- I realize that for example enjoyment had been a separate way in which I would perceive that I liked doing something with someone based on the premise of being opposing something/ someone that represented a limitation and a point of judgment within me –thus I realize how my life experience had been based upon me having a good time according to the past which is not me here in fact enjoying myself doing something – with or without someone – without it being an actual unconditional experience of myself in the moment.

 

When and as I see myself considering fast speed as something effective, accurate and positive within how to do/ conduct things in my reality – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have associated this according to how I was taught that being fast, accurate and doing things as quickly as possible represented an opportunity for me to excel and succeed in the system, wherein in a contraposition, being slow, inefficient, lazy and generally relaxed was something that I deemed as negative and associated to something that I should avoid mimicking in terms of the parental roles that each one of my parents played. Thus I realize that both polarities were created in my mind in order to have a point of preference and a point of friction in my reality, which indicates that non of them are real decisions lived in self-honesty but based on past memories and conditions applied to my every day living.

 

Thus I commit myself to establish new patterns within me and my every day living that are in fact based on a self-realization process of what is best for all and how I can practically and efficiently direct myself – this means that I no longer require to ‘load’ the idea of who I am in relation to father and mother as a positive and negative input according to how I structured myself as my memories, but instead allow me to build myself a platform of self support that stands in accordance to the consideration of breathing, walking moment by moment in specificity and self-discipline wherein I do not require to rush to get through things, nor do I get to the point of not moving at all, but create a point of consistency and stability with a practical living application day by day.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to ‘stick to my routine’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that the positive experience I identify myself with a routine that works is part of preserving the past as ‘who I am’ instead of simply realizing that I can direct myself in every moment effectively without requiring to hold a ‘routine’ as a creed that must be respected no matter what, which is what leads to being inflexible and rather constricted in our reality. Thus I allow myself to establish basic aspects that I can incorporate in my everyday living – such as responsibilities, practical tasks and moments of self enjoyment – wherein I allow myself to expand and explore ways in which I can direct my day to day living without making it my religion and creed to follow.

 

I realize that I can trust myself according to how I live my activities throughout the day and that according to how I go establishing myself as a the directive principle of every moment and every ‘task’ throughout my day, I can establish myself as my own point of self-trust that doesn’t require a immovable routine to do things, but instead become directive in every moment with its flexibility in order to not limit myself throughout the day.

 

When and as I see myself getting a positive experience out of ‘following rules’ and ‘sticking to the system’s principles’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is an experience acquired throughout childhood wherein all things that stick to the norm I regarded as positive and all things that went ‘out’ of the norm, I regarded as negative.

 

Thus I see and realize that I do not have to follow ‘the system’ as a positive experience, but instead realize the practical points that I require to do and direct in every moment, without creating a positive experience out of it, while fearing going into the absolute opposite which I would then fear ‘falling into,’ which is how being obedient, being complacent and ‘responsible’ toward the system was based on fear and never as an actual understanding of self-direction, as I feared being corruptive, lazy, slow and inefficient in everything I did, which is how then everything positive that I did had an underlying fear of going to the exact opposite as motivation factor.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to do something for the level of ‘precision’ they represent and me immediately ‘jumping onto it,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am in fact making such decision based on actually fearing not being ‘fast enough’ or ‘accurate enough’ to continue and perpetuate such personality/ character as ‘the efficient one’ that was built and wrought when and as I would get along with my father, fearing ending up being the exact opposite as my mother which are the basic polarities that I struggled with throughout my life, going to the extremes because I had not established my own parameters to follow as self-direction for myself according to what I see is common sensical and what’s best for all.

 

When and as I see myself being deliberately meticulous and specific with something or someone – I stop and I breathe – I ensure that I am not acting from memories of the past wherein such dedication was charged with fear and as such becoming an eerily enjoyable experience based on the amount of fear and tension involved within me conducting myself in a particular task. Thus I direct myself to move myself according to how I am able to do things moment by moment without rushing, without being too slow, but moving at a physical pace as the physical breathing is the metronome that I direct myself to live as and by at all times.

 

When and as I see myself experiencing myself as inferior or dumb for being told how to do things, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this comes from the memory of having feared being wrong with my father specifically, doing things in a way that would disturb him. Thus I realize that I had in fact only based such inferiority upon the fear of being the opposite of effective such as inefficient, the opposite of fast and accurate as slow and clumsy – which are the polarities I established within myself in order to define what is positive and what is negative, identifying it with both my parents – thus I see and realize that any perceive ‘strength’ or ‘weakness’ must be in fact identified by self to see if it is an actual self-application in the moment or if it is being still conditioned by the past memories with parents wherein our participation between one or the other pole is related to fearing ending up as the negative aspect- hence building the entire positive personality as a way to ‘shove away’ everything that I deemed as negative.

 

When and as I see myself rushing when going to the supermarket I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is the application of an automated modality that I learned through the years of going with my father to the supermarket, which became an ingrained aspect of seeing the supermarket visit as this race that I had to conquer as fast as possible – thus, I allow myself to simply direct myself in every moment as breathe, wherein I do not rush or try to get out from there from the very moment I get in, in the first place. I allow myself to buy and go through the supermarket experience in self-awareness wherein I am here breath by breath – moment by moment doing what I require to do.

 

When and as I see myself fearing doing something wrong/ being clumsy/ being slow – I stop and I breathe, I realize that in essence I am acting from fearing embodying everything that I feared becoming like which is my mother as the counter act to the positive pole which was my father as the accurate, fast and efficient aspect that I wanted to be and become based on how these attributes are well paid/ well remunerated and usually leading to success in a world system of money, never really taking into consideration the amount of stress and apprehension that such pattern entails, due to us not living here as breath but skipping breaths to do everything as fast as possible. Thus I allow myself to see and realize how I am able to direct myself in every moment of breath, wherein I take into consideration the physical reality and the circumstance I am in at all times.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to strike a conversation with the cashiers at the supermarket, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am able to talk to them as a point of expression in the moment, ensuring that what I am saying is not stemming from an actual desire to escape a moment of pressure or stress within me in the moment.

 

I realize that the desire to strike a conversation with the cashier stems from actually wanting to cover up what was a general moment of pressure and stress such as ‘going to the supermarket,’ which is how I would generally experience myself in every social interaction and situation ‘outside of the bubble of my home,’ wherein there were no moments of breathing and living physically, but learned how to fast pace reality and as such create this ideal of ‘who I had to be in everything I do’ as someone ‘fast/ accurate/ specific/ efficient’ all stemming from the fear of becoming the exact opposite as slow/ inaccurate/ clumsy and inefficient. Therefore I realize that it is within me and my responsibility to now direct myself in a way wherein I ensure that I am in fact supporting me to live moment by moment in consideration of the physical reality wherein I am no longer bound to memories in order to act and live.

 

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97. Words as Elitism

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value the way words can be arranged to express as ‘more’ or ‘less’ than myself according to aesthetic values according to how many evocations do I get when reading words, wherein I became used to valuing words as ‘special’ and ‘unique’ according to the type of pictures and experiences I was able to create within myself when reading them, within this using words in self-interest only, seeking to satisfy a aesthetical aspect of communication wherein no living principle was existent, but only using words as a means to entertain myself and get a sense of pleasure from reading what I defined as ‘well-written expression,’ never ever considering how words themselves were already an imposition upon life and that with me creating an experience of language and the written word itself, I separated myself even further from the words as myself through creating experiences through words, wherein words then became the way for me to live through the words/ eyes of others as authors, just because I was not willing to live my own life and as such, becoming a book worm wherein I knew that I would not have to face the world and create relationships with other human beings, but create my own ‘living’ through reading stories to entertain myself with, forgetting about reality in its totality in a deliberate manner.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to praise literature as something ‘magnificent’ just because of the experiences I was able to obtain from words in my mind, without realizing that in no way has any book supported humanity to actually start taking into consideration how words themselves have been used as a means to distract ourselves from living, from realizing how we are the very creators of a world and reality wherein a minority is having the ability to Read words, to get education to be able to read and even more so, have money to later on buy books/ written words as a means of entertainment or so-called ‘education,’ without ever even caring to first ensure that every human being could have access to proper food, water, shelter and a dignified living – including education – and then focus on developing ‘culture’ such as books and all forms of entertainment and ‘education.’ Instead we simply made ourselves believe that we were in fact able to ‘evolve’ as species with our intellectual realms of books and science and culture within the elite reality of one third of the world only, while the rest as the 2/3 were deliberately ostracized and minimized into a reality of poverty and absolute lack, where a book would mean fuel for a fire due to lacking any proper services to live. Within this, realizing to what extent when being brought up in a particular cultural context within the world system of money, we do not even question how it is that ‘our culture’ is based on money and how the very use of words and appreciation thereof is an elitist activity that is in fact a smack on the face of those that have no money to live, which means they have no education to ‘indulge’ into the ‘joy of words’ that I would solace myself with as a means to only cult.ivate my own self interest of ‘culture’ and ‘intellectualism’ that I was aiming at becoming, remaining behind a bunch of pages for extended period of time just because of not wanting to actually get out into the world and dare to see the reality that we are busy destroying due to this extreme egotistical versions of ourselves wherein we do not give a damn about one another, but only seek to live the most comfortable hedonist lifestyle at the expense of those that must work as slaves for us to have such comfort.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to deliberately praise people that would write in what I would define as a ‘gifted manner,’ without even questioning what the hell I was imprinting into myself through reading stories for my own pleasure and satisfaction, never realizing how these same words were being used to create laws and regulations that have denied the most basic human rights to living beings – within this never pondering how my apparent ‘love for words’ was in fact sheer self interest and self-indulgence within a small bubble of ‘human creativity’ that used words for mental masturbation, without seeing how the very system we live in is separated by god, the words we speak and as such we have attempted and tried to play god through sentencing ourselves in ways wherein some can have ‘the power’ over others, where only a minority can use words as way to sentence life or death through our constitutions, laws and policies that we have simply neglected to become aware of, simply because that would imply having to realize that we have all been equal participants in this world as it is, and that it is in our deliberate ignorance and disregard for politics as the judicial and legal systems as well as economics that we have instead opted for the ‘friendly’ use of words such as for books as literature, entertainment and even so-called education that was only directed to perpetuate the same ways of a system that has never valued life – hence words have only been used as a means to exert power and control over life, never ever supporting who we really are as an actual means to communicate and ensure living-conditions for one another, because words are also currency.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the parasitical side of the system wherein through and by me having money at this very moment makes me part of the evil of humanity that has rejoiced and even having the luxury of deciding in what ways I can use words to suit me, to make myself more ‘knowledgeable’ and ‘special,’ without even pondering if such ability is available for al as equal as one – and within this, not having realize how that which is simply ‘common’ for me such as having a computer to be able to type, having the education to be able to write and read, having had the luxury of knowing a second language in a written and spoken manner are all indicators that I have simply been part of the minority in a world that praises knowledge and information as ‘more than’ ourselves, wherein I myself also sought to be part of the ones that could praise each other according to ‘how well’ or how ‘articulate’ we could be, without ever really delving into the question: What are these words in fact implying upon reality? What am I really experiencing when and as I read words that are ‘well written’ according to the standards that I have trained myself to conceive? Is what matters really the way that words are written or is it what they are SAYING as an actual expression of self? Yet because all I knew was of myself being a mind that would enjoy emotional and feeling experiences, everything I could read that would stimulate this preference/ like would become part of my reality as an ‘acceptable’ and ‘higher form of entertainment,’ taking pride in the so-called culture we get from books, without realizing what is behind this very ability to ‘cultivate’ myself while others in the same world have no ability to read or write, nor even eat.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ever question the pleasure and enjoyment I get from reading words wherein it is not about the words themselves, but about who I am toward particular words that become particular characters that I am ‘fond of,’ which is a way that I would always indicate that I idolized a particular writer/ lyricist whose words I could use to create my own mind experiences as a means of entertainment, diverting myself from my own living reality and experience, and getting used to entertaining myself with words and words and words as a deliberate way to escape from the world behind pages, and having this as something ‘acceptable’ just because it is culturally praised to be a ‘book worm’ as someone ‘intellectual’ which is once again, placing more value onto knowledge and information that exists as a very tool of separation which is how words are currently existing in our reality.

 

When and as I see myself getting an experience of pleasure and satisfaction as a positive energy experience from reading words, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this can only be possible because I have money and I learned how to read, I had enough experiences – bought with money as well – that I could imprint as memories within me from where I could create a point of fulfillment and satisfaction that I then associated with particular words, to later on being able to read such words again to re-live that positive experience that I would get from words in separation of myself.

 

When and as I see myself praising knowledge and information in the form of books, intellectuals, written words that evoke a sense of fulfillment and perceiving them as ‘more’ than myself – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I had been easily drawn to expression in itself as a way to satisfy my ideals of perfection and ‘self improvement’ based on the ability and skills to use language as a way to make myself special or distinct, without even ever considering how this is just an elitist hobby that is in no way equally existent for all beings in this world.

 

Hence I commit myself to re-establish words as tools to create and direct ourselves in every moment as the expression of self-correction at the moment, wherein Words as Self-Forgiveness become the keys of ‘like cures like’ wherein if our words have been the very imposition toward our reality as a means to have ‘control’ and ‘power’ over it, we make of words our tools to give ourselves back to ourselves and equalize such words as who we really are as an expression of life, wherein no specialness and no discrimination is able to exist ever again by the same ‘power of words.’

 

I commit myself to become part of the people that will educate oneself and others to stand in an equal position of understanding words as ourselves, as I can then direct this that once was my ‘passion’ as words to equalize the understanding of myself as one and equal as who and what we really are as words that can reconstitute and for the first time establish a living principle on Earth in all ways, which is Equality as Life.

 

This thus implies that I walk my own process of Self-Creation as words that are able to be directed in a way that we can all equally convey our expression of oneness and equality through a process of first, walking our own mind as the realization of who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become through the separation of words as ourselves, to then walk the process of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty, Self-Reflection and Self-Corrective Application in order to construct life as ourselves as the very words we decide to live and the words that we decide that we will no longer keep as they only stood as a form of separation from self here as one and equal.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System wherein education will be founded upon the principle of Life in Equality, wherein words become the primary tool to show and demonstrate our equality and oneness and the responsibility each one of us holds with how we use words, to ensure that we are all equal participants standing in equal understanding of how reality works, of how our minds works and how we sentence/ create ourselves as the very words we speak.

 

I commit myself to become aware of every single words that I write or say as a means to express the corrective process I am walking here and as such, ensure that I correct my expression into equalization as life in every moment of breath that I am able to give myself to practically become aware of who I am as every moment of expression here.

 

I commit myself to use words as a means to take responsibility for what I create as words and humble myself through walking a process of Self-Forgiveness for I see and realize what I have accepted and allowed myself to become through and as the very existence of words in separation of ourselves as life.

 

“I commit myself to SHOW that those Promoting Understanding of the MIND, have NO Clue how in Fact Functions – Step by Step – and that One Should Only Participate in any Process where you Will Become the ONE that Understands in Detail How you Created yourself in Every Way, as is Taught in the Desteni I Process.” – Bernard Poolman *

 

 

For more support to understand who and what we are as words, visit Desteni and the Desteni Forum

For specialized Self-Support visit the Desteni I Process website

 

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:

Reptilians – Language: the Sceptre of Creation (Part 1) – Part 70
Reptilians – Language: the Sceptre of Creation (Part 2) – Part 71
The Soul of Money – How Illusion became Reality – Part 27

 


Day 28: I’m Always Right

The cycle of generating some form of conflict  and friction in our reality to then create and formulate ways to get ourselves out of it into a positive experience is the only way that we can be constantly accumulating these ‘pats of god’ (or god spats lol)  to temporarily satiate our constant yearn to be ‘fulfilled/ happy/ productive’ and yes, creating a sense of comfort out of that initial self-created beaten and won war against, well essentially only ourselves.


Self Righteous was my ‘flavor’ when it came to living out such pattern, and I am dead honest that I had not realized this until it was pointed out in my face while being at the farm and talking the point of ‘my way’ out, wherein I had deemed that my perceived ‘positive attributes’ didn’t have to be self-forgiven/ corrected, without realizing how they were in fact only generated out of the point that I now understand with more clarity: we birth ourselves as conflict that seeks the eternal completion/ fulfillment/ satisfaction as that positive experience that we have to constantly feed/ upkeep as an elusive ‘state of being’ that has lead us to co-create the current world system where ‘all your dreams can come true’ if you have enough millions in the hole-on-wall and enough needy people to do ‘whatever they can for you’ in exchange of some of your cake’s crumbs.



So – this constant desire to always be ‘right,’ of always having the ‘ultimate say’ becomes a ‘desire-to-always-win’ pattern wherein any window of opportunity is used to outshine and blind with lights of ‘I know it all’ wherein the more we believe we are ‘right,’ the harder it gets to turn off the light  – why? because all things related to instant gratification are easily consumed. It’s like offering a candy or a vegetable to a ‘regular’ person – they would mostly go for the candy because it creates a nice fluffy feeling, whereas the vegetable is cool for your digestive tract – yet it doesn’t recreate, instigate or enhance any feeling that makes us feel a little piece of heaven for a moment, only running out as the effect of any drug that we then seek to come back for more. The fact that we have equated ‘winning’ to ‘living’ is another one of those capitalistic logical statements that we have adopted as ‘our life’ – and within this, we have accepted ourselves to become our very own dictators of what is right/ wrong, good/ bad in our reality. We all run our own Wall Street in our mind and somehow we always manage to make the algorithms work on our favor – no different to how money runs (or is created out of thin air) in this world.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find fault in people, things, places, events in order to have the ‘ultimate say’ about it wherein in my mind, I either have to humbly accept that something is ‘cool’ and ‘alright’ or I get the most juice of it all by claiming that ‘it’s wrong, it’s not good enough, it’s flawed’ which proves that I only get the most winning-experience when in my mind I am able to find enough fault/ mistakes that I can judge in order to then correct them within my own mind and in that believe that ‘I can do/ be better than that, my idea was better’


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I always get the most of the cake/ the most positive reward whenever I am able to prove something/ someone wrong and in that, build my ego up based on ‘finding fault in another,’ wherein such projection can only exist if I seek to prove myself right according to what I ‘believe,’ and ‘what I am’ as an idea in my mind, because I see and realize that in physicality, we are all one and equal – bones, cells, tissue, organs, flesh don’t require to prove something or someone wrong or right in order to exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always place myself in my mind above others, wherein no matter what is being said, I cringe whenever there is something that I must admit is ‘right’ and in that, believe that I am ‘diminishing’ myself because of agreeing with another’s words/ statements, wherein because I didn’t get to ‘prove them wrong,’ I am left with my initial state of only seeking to make myself feel ‘more’ and ‘better’ based on placing myself ‘on top’ of others, which can only be a mental masturbation in my mind wherein my ‘success’ is stemming from bashing/ proving others wrong.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very judge of everything and everyone in means of seeking ways to always make myself feel better about it all, which implies that I seek to ‘out do’ someone, ‘become better’ based on excelling in comparison to others, wherein I then live a life of constant and continuous strife to ‘always be right,’ because ‘being right’ has become the very definition of how I see myself, who I believe myself to be, because that’s the way that I have accepted and allowed myself to be worthy/ be acceptable/ be important toward others – in this


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life not for myself but as a constant comparison and projected judgment onto others, without realizing that within this very mechanism of me always ‘being right,’ I am in fact fearing and avoiding ‘being wrong’ at all cost, which implies that


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘diminish’ who I am as an idea – which is the only thing that can diminish of myself – when realizing that I was in fact ‘wrong’ within a particular circumstance wherein such experience is felt as a failure, as a ‘loss’ which is what generates envy and jealousy whenever we project such loss as an experience toward others that ‘got it right,’ and in that, create an entire antagonism based on only ‘me’ as my ego wanting to continue ‘winning’ all the time, wherein anyone that gets to be on the same/ similar position is seen as an enemy/ threat to who I am as the ego that is always right.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very power-game that fuels the idea of myself in this immaculate self-righteous person that suffers and goes into the negative and self-deprecating person if that initial desire and projection as a ‘winner’ is not fulfilled wherein then I step down of the hill all the way down and below sea level, wherein I in fact remain ‘out of competition’ because of perceiving that ‘If I could not do it my way, then fuck it, I won’t play the game any more’, which is the usual way of victimizing myself wherein


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in a victimized state that also requires to be kept ‘alive’ by me deliberately denying that I am capable/ able to direct myself effectively and believing that because I didn’t ‘get it right’ the first time, I just rather pass-on the point/ work/ assignment onto others that ‘have proven to do it right, ‘ which is not an unconditional move but an actual victimized state masked with ‘understanding, ‘which is stemming from the spiteful nature toward ourselves when not getting our immediate ‘fix’ of feeling ‘great’ for ‘always being right’ about something/ someone/ event.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the opposite polarity of believing that ‘I always fail at this/ I always get it wrong’ which also gets an energetic kick as an experience whenever another can confirm and commiserate to my own victimization, wherein them agreeing that I am in fact ‘fucked up,’ makes me – absurdly so – feel better, because I was able to get a confirmation from another of what I created for myself as ‘being wrong,’ which in a twisted energetic game becomes a ‘positive experience’ because I got seconded by another in my own mental delusion, proving in my mind that ‘I was right,’ which becomes then a perceived ‘fine’ experience in stagnant self-wrongness that eventually makes us feel ‘good’ as well, because we get the confirmation by others that ‘that’s who I am/ that’s ‘my nature’ and that’s what ‘I deal with,’ yet without the actual understanding of how I created such patterns for myself.



I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to only become a person of ‘good reputation’ when considering that all acts of such self-seeking positive nature support the maintenance of the money system running as the consequence of this desire to only win. Instead I see that any disagreement toward a point of common sense, can only allow myself to reflect within me ‘who am I’ while reading others’ blogs/ sharings and in that, see if I am trying to prove something wrong/ right when and while reading others words.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I was born out of conflict and in that, becoming Self-Righteous means that I get my satisfaction from being appraised as ‘always right,’ which is what then gets me out of my initial self-perception of being wrong and seeking to ‘be right’ wherein through obtaining the positive feedback, I build the conceptual confidence and stability based on compliments/ words/ perceptions that I believe is ‘who I am,’ therefore perceiving it as a way of accepting ‘who I am’ as ‘always being right’ at the eyes of others, creating me a flattery experience – without realizing that I am the only one that has structured this ‘rewarding game, ‘ wherein others’ expression is fitted into my own rules of the game to make them useful to fulfill my own created patterns of winning, losing, being recognized, being wronged by others, in that scheming my own inner conflict through positive and negative feedback that I have accepted and allowed to define ‘who I am.’


I realize that I have always only played all of these games in secret, within my mind wherein there is no ‘others eyes’ as judgments other than the thoughts that I constructed within myself at all times. This is then debunking the constant participation within the permanent comparison toward others to assess ‘where am I in relation to others,’ which can only exist within me existing as a value that can be more or less than others, which is ludicrous and can only be ‘real’ as the idea of self – never as who I really am as one and equal as life.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that what I in fact fear to self forgive is my ability to continue existing as a self-righteous person because in that, ‘who I am’ is exposed and mined wherein all that is left for me is to live without being a constant energy seeking machine to be ‘right’ at all times, but instead simply direct myself within the consideration of what’s best for all, wherein I am able to express in a self-directive manner wherein I ensure no backchat as comparison/ judgments/ self righteousness is being the starting point of my participation.


When and as I see myself assessing others using my right-o-meter as the mental ever-present judge that I’ve become, I stop and I breathe – I realize that all that I am ‘assessing’ is in fact my own mind, projecting judgments onto other which eventually  affect and disrate how I view others – in my mind – and in that be the point that hears/ sees within common sense wherein I allow myself to stand as the correction and then simply externalize it/ communicating, which is then being a supportive point to establish equal-relationships wherein no more competition, rivalry and judgment onto others as right or wrong is perpetuated.


I commit myself to stop the mechanism of me wanting to be right all the time in order to accumulate ‘props for my ego,’ wherein who I am and has been cannot be defined as knowledge/ information/ self beliefs to feed on. I move me as an assessment of what’s best for all in the moment, without over complicating the point by having to add ‘extra value’ to it –I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to adopt self-righteousness as my personal religion wherein everything I judge upon others ‘is and must be so’ because in my mind ‘I’m always right,’ which is used as a necessary crutch to cover up the initial uncertainty, mistrust, fear and self judgment that is polarized into a positive-view of reality wherein I make sure that I am always ‘winning’


I commit myself to stop all desires to always win, and in that, give myself back to myself that which I thought I had to ‘prove someone/ something’ wrong to, within this I am able to identify the points that I have separated myself from and in that, assess my application in practicality and living-reality wherein the only law of our being as equality and oneness can be the ultimate say in this reality, not knowledge.


Desteni

Desteni Forum

Journey To Life

Blogs:

Interview:

  • Sunette Spies – My Evil Twin: Sunette explains the manifestation of a parasitical ‘evil twin’ that grew and exists within and as self as a resonant back-chat system.

Vlogs:


2012 Self-Realization without Desteni = unlikely

I’ll share the experience I walk through when directing comments in relation to ourselves in existence – why we are here, how we got ourselves to the current reality we are ‘living in’ and in all of this, how is the Desteni material of utmost relevance to everything and everyone in this existence, it is about our destiny in fact.

Many people that are familiar with ‘spirituality’ are able to relate to the nice-fluffiness that it usually entails, such as messages of ‘love’ and ‘light’ and ‘positivity’ and ‘oneness’ – Equality is not regarded. This is virtually the same even with proposals of ‘new economic models’ wherein there is a certain ‘faith’ that things will work out by the ‘good will of man to change’ which sounds really nice on a surface value,  without realizing that if Equality is not regarded, there is a minimum possibility of creating a single change that is best for all in this world, simply because ALL is not considered.

 

Equality – as we have realized over these past years – is not understood. Why? Because the most usual association has to do with constitutional concepts that have never been lived/ applied in this world. What remains then is a single ‘idea’ of what it is – even more so, it is usually stigmatized with other concepts that are deliberately imbued within society as Fear Labels like ‘Communism’ to the level that ‘Equality’ is and can become a fear-label in itself, believing that it would mean the ultimate control and thought-police concept wherein ‘all would have to think, act, wear, eat and do the same.’ Absolutely False, obviously – however these misconceptions are not ‘far fetched’ or to be taken ‘lightly’ as they can actually become the reason why a person does not allow themselves to walk the necessary process of self-investigation to understand what we mean by Equality as Life – sounds simple, however there is quite a process behind to understand this simple equation.

 

“Without the actual design history of man realized self honestly or getting it from source in detail, make self awareness always unlikely” – Bernard Poolman

 

What I realized is that it is difficult to try and ‘understand Equality’ without having gone through the extensive amounts of material that exist through Desteni. This is not to place it in a pedestal, it is simply because it is the only source of information and support that has been proven to be effective within creating a platform for self-realization in this world.  It is vital to not disregard the explanation of ‘who we are’ and ‘how we got here’ as this is certainly a key-point that has allowed us to now see Why and How come we are all Self-Responsible for what is here. And, this is a perspective that has only been explicitly explained and exposed by Desteni throughout these past 5 years.

 

For example, a being that is only seeing that this world requires ‘a change’ and places a comment saying that ‘love is all we require, ‘ we can know right away that there is no actual understanding of HOW we created this reality and How we got ourselves to the current state that we are in. It is not only about the outflow of an unequal and abusive socio-economical system that we have all co-created and participated in – or some ‘creator’s bad joke’ – no, there is much more to grasp and fathom within this, and anyone that has given themselves the opportunity to read more than a few articles, posts or watched only a hundred videos from Desteni, will understand within these words.  It has taken some years for us to get to understand this process from all the various perspectives and dimensions that have been openly shared and walked through with available support throughout the  articles, videos, posts in the forum as well as the countless blogs and vlogs from everyone else participating that have made of all of the information, a practical-understanding of ‘what walking process’ is and implies.

 

Without taking the necessary time and apply the tools of self support, it is very difficult to try and ‘get it.’ What mostly remains from comments wherein a self-belief is perpetuated through rhetoric is only that, knowledge and information that doesn’t allow someone to actually take a step aside from everything they have ever known and dare to hear what’s being shared to hear common sense, something that we all can relate to if we dare to be Self Honest. Only an ego can deny what is being shared in a message of Equality as Life and in that, we spot the point of deception, reveal it to the being so that they can have an opportunity to walk-through the self-created barrier and eventually, they can only support themselves to actually take off the veil if they are willing to do so.

 

It’s been proven how we as humans fear change – we would rather stay in a rather abusive situation instead of taking the necessary risks to actually Stand up for Life. And this is certainly a point that we are walking and standing up for as Desteni represents not only ‘challenging’ our ego and individual idea of self, but the entire current configuration of our reality, simply because Desteni provides the information, assistance and support that has never been programmed to exist in this reality. This is as relevant and revolutionary as can get – we can see how currently people want to be revolutionary by causing riots or rebelling against the ‘current order’ through opposition and further retaliation – that’s definitely not the way.

 

The key to crack this current ‘jail’ is not through fighting each other to win the game, declaring wars or fucking up the system– it is through establishing a point of awareness that has never been shared in this existence, which leads to the necessary understanding to reveal to ourselves how we are all responsible for the current configuration of the world as it is today, how it is that all the consequences and general perception of this world ‘going into self-destruction’ is a process that is here for us to reveal something that is beyond the usual self-interest and self-importance that we have all been preprogrammed to live as.  What and who we really are and how we got ourselves here is given in a golden platter throughout the material – and only fear can step in the way to actually SEE and realize what must be done.

 

We are still walking the fears out of layers and layers of conditioning and programming that we have believed is ‘who we are’ – yet I am grateful for every single point of realization that I have gotten within the past 4 years.

 

People seek for freedom in drugs, entertainment, relationships, religion, sports, TV, spirituality, even a political-affiliation can become religious without realizing that it is the best way to keep someone busy in mind-experiences and trapped within being only a ‘mind’ that thinks, feels and gets emotional, which actually shuts down any opportunity to realize ourselves, as a mental-experience is promoted and enhanced,  getting further and further away from an actual physical realization of what it actually means to realize ourselves as Here, as I am here.

 

None of the current spiritual teachings will tell you the harsh truth that we have created for ourselves, because love and light sells well, honey to your ears is far more desirable than hearing words like ‘Self-Responsibility’ and ‘Self-Honesty’ – however the question must be: what will remain after all the money and honey is gone? What will remain once there is no fluffy feelings like love and faith in some god because of having exterminated all possible resources to create our little ‘heaven’ in this world? This is about reality, a reality that requires solutions, solutions that stem from an actual understanding and realization of an overall process that we are currently walking here on Earth, that is not to be taken lightly and not only about changing the current monetary system or becoming self-honest beings, but about an existential process that has been on going for more than 2000 years, that’s for certain. There is a LOT more to grasp than what we currently see, which is just the tip of the iceberg as far as I can comprehend at the moment.

 

Again, these words may sound ‘empty’ without the context that I have described above – this is a clarification of points that I have re-discovered while listening to the current Anu Interviews, which fascinatingly enough, were quite a revolutionary aspect within my understanding of process back in 2008 when the first interviews were published, and it is certainly no different now, there is stuff that is being revealed that might take more than one listen to fully grasp.

 

This is it – I probably cannot emphasize more day to day how relevant it is to study the entire material, to read, unconditionally, to allow yourself – if new and not so new to Desteni – to take the necessary time to go through everything that has been shared, that’s the only way that you can grasp all the dichotomies and questions and apparent ‘confusion’ that you may encounter within yourself if only skimming through ‘some’ of it. This is about you taking the time to investigate life, which is yourself, this is about us realizing who we are As Life and for that, no light reading or ‘quick fixes’ exist. Takes time, dedication, application and actual self-change at a physical level to become a self-directive being, for that there is actual work to do.

 

We are walking this process in humbleness – humus means Earth, so we are grounding ourselves as Here through that which we get and obtain through the material that is given with the utmost specificity in words that can open up an actual window of opportunity to realize who you really are, if you dare to do so. This is about redesigning the very inherent preprogramming that we have all been subject to for a long time – it is about recognizing our ability to create ourselves from a starting point that does consider life and regards ourselves in Equality. This, is a process wherein the platform of support of walking these realizations as a group is what will make Self-Realization possible. It is unlikely to get to a point of actual understanding without having the tools and support that is necessary and required to reference ourselves, to make sure that we are in fact understanding and walking the realizations in a self-honest way and not taking them as knowledge that sits nicely in our heads.

 

There is no point in convincing anyone about this – one either Hears and Sees and realizes what must be done or not. My suggestion is take this once in a last-life time opportunity to become a human being that is willing to walk the necessary process to get Here – Anu says it best and I would like to quote every single word that he said,  but even that would make no difference: you have to hear and see for yourself.

 

Visit the following links:

Process of Self

 

Loq ue soy es más allá del infinito

Who I am is beyond infinity – 2008

 

PS. Realizations will not come only through words, we must live them.


2012 The Unraveling

The process of Writing Yourself to Freedom is a self-revelation process that we can all apply in order to become aware of who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become = getting to know ourselves within the starting point of actually supporting us to Live in Common Sense. Within this, the basic ingredient is Self Honesty as the starting point for this process is understanding that there are points that are required to be corrected and aligned within the principle of What’s Best for All within the realization of who we are as Equal and One as Life.

What I’ve discovered is that through writing I was able to see myself through words, just like a mirror of the ego wherein my choice of words as the ‘writing style’ was  what I could see myself playing out in, for example, the first vlogs that I made as part of this process. I was able to start seeing myself for the very first time, simply because I hadn’t ever recorded myself and definitely not for the purpose of self-revelation and self-correction. Though, the main point of support throughout this process has been writing wherein it becomes ‘The Point’ of assistance and support to ground ourselves through the Unraveling of the mind, it is that ‘backbone’ or skeleton structure that we can always go back to in order to ‘pour our mind out’ and within that, go disentangling what we perceive as this entire chaos within ourselves as all the thoughts that we have gave our breaths away to.

Let’s look at it like putting the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together again – lol which is something that has kind of intrigued me how we can be that ‘crazy’ to buy this as a form of entertainment, while we could have just bought the picture ‘as one’ already. However, we as the mind have complicated ourselves and divided us in these thousand-pieces that we then realize we have to put back together for the sake of realizing ourselves as ‘the whole picture.’ Within this process, one can relate to the patience required to go bit by bit putting the pieces back together to create the entire picture, yet having this yearning desire in the back of our head to ‘have the puzzle done.’

I mean, I walked this point of solving jigsaw puzzles and got to know this aspect of having this imminent desire to complete it/ get it done as fast as I could. However I realized that I was trying to ‘beat my own record’ and prove myself that I could do it or walk through my own desperate ways of ‘wanting to get everything done right away’ – yet I forgot how it was the actual process of ‘putting the pieces ‘back together’ that was the entire ‘gist’ of a jigsaw puzzle, otherwise I could have only bought a poster of the image and that’s it.

This is how I have come to understand this process as well, wherein at the beginning -and even at times still – we tend to want to ‘get it all done’ and within this miss out the entire point of it which is actually walking in space and time the self-realization process to see/ realize that ‘we are here,’ and we are learning how to see ourselves for the first time as creators of our reality, to debunk and demystify our existence that we thought –or liked to believe – it would have any form of ‘greatness’ embedded to it, instead of ever realizing that the simplicity – yet wholeness – of who we really are is what’s being missed every time that we tend to ‘go up in our head,’ trying to complicate ourselves, to exalt our idea of who we are because somehow we have linked all of these experiences as ‘being alive.’

We have compromised each other to have to ‘be something’ in this society. Have a look at the questions of ‘what are you/ what do you do?’ and in this already funneling down everything that we actually are to one single profession, one single gender, to a single idea of ourselves while in fact, who we are is much more than just a few words that can give another an ‘idea’ of who we are as our mind – not as the reality that we are as Life.

It is definitely so that we have set up the system wherein we are the only ones that have separated ourselves from the simplicity of seeing things as they are, instead of trying to embed something to it for the sake of creating a constant experience within ourselves according to a point of self-definition a.k.a. ego of the mind. Within this, it is to see how we have covered the simplicity of who we are with the entire ego as the mask/personality that becomes like a second skin that we believe is ‘who we are,’ yet protecting ourselves from even us realizing what/ how and who we really are, which in simplicity is here as a human physical body equal and one to any other being in this world.

The process of writing ourselves to freedom is unraveling this addiction or attachment that we have created on to everything that we have accumulated throughout our life – either in our minds as thoughts/ memories/ feelings/ emotions or as physical possessions, people, places – making of it only a collection of ‘items’ that we have defined as ‘who we are.’ We become so fixated on it that it almost seems impossible to even fathom who and what we will be without all of those threads woven on top of ourselves.

Each point that we apply Self Forgiveness for is like unraveling those threads and start de-weaving the entire cover that we have built on top of ourselves. It might seem quite ‘difficult’ to go through this as it is essentially having to deconstruct and tear down our ‘precious,’ an entire self-creation that we have created a relationship with for an entire lifetime. However, this doesn’t mean that it is impossible or even ‘too late’ which just reminded me of that I-so-late-shun video wherein the moment that we realize what we have become and there’s an idea of ‘there is no way out of it’ and that we are ‘too late to change’ or do anything to take Self Responsibility, the Isolation comes up as a form of accepting one’s ‘fate’ as immovable. It is then our duty to stop any form of backchat that could tell us: ‘it is not possible, it is too much, I will never get to do this’ or even ‘you cannot possibly forgive yourself for this.’

I can only speak from the time I’ve been walking this process and it takes time and a definitive ‘letting go’ of wanting to ‘become something’ or ‘achieve anything’ through writing that I am able to stand one and equal as the words I go realizing through walking this process. The moment that I force myself to it, the starting point is not being equal and one as myself and in that, there can only come a backfire to be reveal to me how I have ‘missed the point,’ simply because it is not to ‘better’ ourselves or ‘improve’ the idea that we have of who we are, but actually align ourselves to walk the understanding of what it is to support oneself as equal and one. It is within those moments that we actually learn and get to know who and what we have become to eventually Self-Forgive the points. As hard as it may seem at any point/stage within our process,  giving us this opportunity to stand up and forgive ourselves is the only way we can finally heal the point and move on to stand in an equal-stance toward ourselves, to no longer remain attached to a single idea and character of who and what we have become.

“The only person standing in your way: Is YOU”
– Bernard Poolman

I have learned so much of myself through this process, getting from an experience of constant insecurity, self doubt and belittling myself to a point of self acceptance and self-recognition to see what I am actually capable of being and standing as when I leave the mind-shit aside.  The fact that we seek recognition in another/ others reveals   to what extent we have denied ourselves as life, how we have basically considered ourselves as ‘non existent’ just because of a set of thinking patterns that we have believed is ‘who we are.’ This really ‘struck me’ at some point, because of how we have diminished ourselves within words as judgments that are not supportive for anyone in any way. How was I able to see and spot this? Through writing myself to freedom, through interacting with others in my reality, through reading and participating in the Desteni Forum wherein we share our realizations and learn how we have all in fact been programmed the exact same way, wherein we realize how each one just constantly sought to have the next ‘quick fix’ as any form of energetic kick in whatever form we would indulge ourselves in.

I have also learned from others as myself, we have gathered our blogs and have created almost an encyclopedia of the human mind for the first time, just because of how it is that we have in fact only now allowed us to speak ‘our truth’ as the reality that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become, yet kept ‘secret’ because of our own egos standing on the way of equality all this time.

Exposing ourselves might not seem like the mind’s favorite game, it is not nice or pretty – yet this is the foundation of what standing in Self Honesty is: daring to bring up that which had been only rotting as a corpse in the closet for ages, never daring to expose it because of the attachment that we had toward it – along with any other judgment toward the fact of having kept it there for such a long time – as weird as it may sound, it seems we all have this tendency to keep our strings attached to that which we know is not best for all, not beneficial. It is only when we Do take the necessary scissors in the form of writing and applying/ living Self-Forgiveness that we can start seeing the range of possibilities that we can stand as in Equality.

It’s fascinating how we have married ourselves to an idea of self, to our own religion, to our own mind and within this, reducing reality to a single system of words and pictures that we have impressed with values and worth as ‘who we are,’ which is unacceptable considering the actual reality we are disregarding in such selfish limited ‘view’ of ourselves and the world.

The unraveling is thus withdrawing from that constant fix that we have created for ourselves in whatever way we had chosen our ‘fix’ to be, which is linked to our ego/ personality as belief, ideas, feelings, thoughts – I mean, we can just look at our incessant ‘thinking’ and we’ll have a direct proof of how we have built ourselves up. Hence writing it out is precisely placing our entire programming/ pattern in front of ourselves – either on a piece of paper or our computer screen – and dare to face it all as our creation, and from here, take Self Responsibility for it using Self Forgiveness as a tool to become really specific on getting to know ourselves, using it as a shovel to make sure we dig out all that is deeply rooted within ourselves as self definitions.

This is how the idea of god or any other magical force around us must be debunked, as there was never any mysterious cause for how things are in this world, for who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become.

For a moment it might seem like we are scared of now leaving everything we have known ourselves to-be behind, and I can say that this is just like any other addict that believes they cannot live without their fix – yes, it takes almost a withdrawal process wherein the symptoms are usually ‘wanting to give up’ or ‘not wanting to continue with this’ – without realizing that giving up is of the mind and that’s precisely what we are realizing here is Not who and what we really are.

Thus, we continue walking here – I have this tendency to apologize myself for talking/ writing too much, but it’s all that I had to say today after having heard a couple of interviews and discussing points with people that are also walking this process wherein all I can see is that ‘the only point that stands in our way is ourselves’ and within that, there is nowhere else to look for answers other than here, getting to know ourselves and will ourselves to live a self-corrective process to stand in Equality as Life.  I could not see myself doing anything else as this is the time where I can finally say I don’t have any more ‘questions’ around my existence, I don’t require to ‘know more’ about it, I just require to get myself to a point of equality as myself and within that, actually learn how to live and coexist as all that is here.

Never underestimate the power of our own words – we are here to Live them.

Suggest to Listen to:

2012: Is Hope an Illusion?

2012: World Transformation – The How-To
2010 Life is NOT an Experience

Why I would not want to be God (Part One) by Heath Ledger


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