Category Archives: Self Forgiveness

477. Physical Attraction

Or how to stop the objectification of ourselves as images to generate any form of mental experience.

 

A timely topic emerged today in a group discussion about physical attraction in relation to other people, how to face it, understand it and walk through it to a point of self-honesty.

So the basics are that yes, such reactions to a physical appearance as an image is a mind-stimulation based on preferences, in essence programming, that one has to essentially let go of and stop participating in to focus on who the being really is, the equality that such person is in fact in relation to us: another human being just like ourselves.

This indicates that whichever experience we have ‘about them’ is not really ‘about them,’ but entirely about ourselves and how we are judging, valuing and assessing a person through our minds with values, perspectives, preferences which is also a gift that we can use to see where and how we have separated ourselves from a particular person based on those values and judgments imposed onto the exterior appearance of our perfectly equal in substance physical bodies.

One point that emerged in the discussion shared by Matti that I had not considered is how this participation in physical attraction as in either desiring a person for ‘how they look’ or creating fantasies around them and oneself in a relationship or some other type of intimate interaction, is no different to watching porn, where one is essentially stimulating oneself in one’s mind based on an image, an idea, a set of pixels of a particular person that we then ‘possess’ ourselves with in our minds, diminishing that very real and physical human being into an object that we crave, desire and lust around as if ‘this being’ was meant to be a source of pleasure for us… obviously this is not common sensical.

It is in fact self-abusive to be diminishing each other as objects and a point I also reflected upon when discussing this with my partner is how many times I can get ‘offended’ if anyone would show such participation of ‘physical attraction’ towards me or anyone else, which I wasn’t directly taking back to myself and realizing how I was and have done the exact same thing upon people, creating ‘attractions’ and desires based on looks, no matter how ‘close’ that person is to me or how ‘far away’ they seemingly are – as in movie stars, musicians or regular people I can see walking on the streets = doesn’t matter ‘who’ we do it towards, really, what matters is how I have been co-participating in the reduction of an actual living human being – a being that is actually also myself as well – into a picture that I can abstract into my mind and ‘own’ or ‘fantasize’ about in order to create a particular seemingly ‘positive’ experience in me. This is definitely not at all the kind of relationships I want to stand by or create with people, not with the ones ‘close’ to me nor with anyone else.

So, just as my partner said how the ability to ‘get offended’ implies we are doing the exact same in some way in our lives, it then clicked to me that I have done that exact same thing, showing  ‘disgust’ for people that lust on others –specially males on females – yet, not seeing or wanting to accept that I have done the exact same thing towards males and have not questioned it at all, but seeing it as something ‘very normal’.

This proves again how whenever I see myself holding a judgment about someone and feel ‘righteous’ about it, I need to stop myself and open up that point for me, to see what am I missing out that exists in me, that I am actively participating on as well yet diminishing it, deceiving myself in thinking that ‘it is not that important’ to look at, dismissing the fact that it is most often than not these seemingly ‘little aspects’ of ourselves that hold the most patterns, tendencies and dishonesty in ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a convenience in seeing the abuse that happens in the form of physical attraction and the desire, fantasies and illusions that one can generate  with or about another’s ‘physical image’ for the sake of creating a ‘positive’ – or negative – energetic experience as something ‘normal’ or ‘common’  and never really equating it to it being the exact same mechanism as with watching porn or deliberately ‘lusting’ about another’s physical appearance or fixations at any level, because in doing so it is no different to reducing the image of a person as a trigger of a positive experience in me, which is in fact no different to how porn functions as well, reducing human physical bodies to a source of an energetic experience where we are not actually considering the beings, the people themselves, but only get fixated into one’s own pleasure and experience triggered by a picture in our minds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have been offended whenever I became aware of a person denoting an attraction towards a physical body, specially males upon women or upon myself, where I would become enraged for being ‘objectified’ as a source of lust for another individual – though never really being self-honest in realizing how I have done the exact same thing about males in my mind, just ‘painting it’ with a brush of complacency, considering it is something innocent and not-harmful, when in fact this very participation in an energetic experience towards another person is me replicating the exact same mechanisms in which one of the biggest obsessions and addictions in this world function: porn, nothing else but translating an image into a source of addictions, fixations, seemingly ‘positive experiences’ where we go slowly but surely dislocating ourselves from our very own one and equal nature to those beings/people that we are using as a source of apparent ‘satisfaction’ at a mind level, because this can for sure never be a genuine source of ‘satisfaction’ to begin with.

Therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to minimize my relationship to the image of other people as a form of ‘attraction’ as something ‘non-consequential, very small and controllable, not much of a big deal’ – instead of seeing directly how it accumulates and escalates to a point of obsessions, fixations and addictions based on a constant participation in the thought, fantasy or illusion experience ‘with the image’ of another person, which means I am not taking ‘them’ into consideration at all in that moment, but only the creation of a ‘good feeling’ within me that is entirely created by myself, in my own mind and has nothing to do with me considering them, as physical beings, as equals to myself which means by default, I should not be creating an energetic experience and relationship towards them, because that in itself already indicates that the whole starting point of who I am in relation to them is still completely filtered through the mind, through my preferences as likes and dislikes, through my own programming based on what I have been storing in my head as ‘ideas of beauty’ or ‘handsomeness’ based on the kind of pictures I used to see while growing up as a child, the kinds and types of people that ‘I grew a taste for’ and not questioning this programming for what it is, but allowing myself to actually play out on my desires and seek for ‘matches’ in this kind of relationship-scenarios that I also built as an ideal in my mind, not considering at all who the other person really is and what they are really all about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having taken a haughty position or superior position in believing that I was ‘better than’ others for not participating in watching porn for example, yet not really investigating and seeing or wanting to admit how I am participating in the exact same principle when taking someone’s physical body image and use it as a source of personal amusement, fantasy, ideals, desires and day dreaming that I had not  questioned because of diminishing it to something seemingly ‘not that important’ or ‘under control’ for me, that would seemingly ‘not harm anyone’ – but, over time and little by little, the only person that it affects is oneself when not being able to in fact ‘be in control’ of those experiences but instead be dominated by them which then takes a serious process of diligently dissecting and redirecting each experience, each fantasy, each ‘dream’ that we create in our minds related to that one image of a person, to see what of ourselves is trapped in this experience of desire towards another and so make a decision, who do I want to be in relation to that person?

In this I commit myself to honor myself by living the solution to end the objectification of ourselves as human beings and consequently of porn or any other source of stimulation based on images – this is by stopping doing this myself, no matter ‘who’ the person is that I have in my mind – or object or situation – I have to focus on physical reality, on what is here, tangibly, and I have to honor and respect fellow human beings by seeing them for who and what they are as equals, as fellow beings, fellow ‘me’s’ that I cannot reduce to being a source of personal entertainment, because I certainly would not like to be ‘that’ kind of infatuation or source of mental stimulation for another – therefore I have to be the one that stops it absolutely within myself, no matter ‘how small’ or how seemingly ‘innocent’ this process of fantasizing is about, the key is to let go entirely of all mental stimulation and instead, focus on getting to see the beings for what they are, who they are, getting to know and appreciate them for the substance that they are in themselves. This applies not only to people we might already be related to in one way or another, but also with strangers as well, to see beyond the immediate veils and always focus on what’s in the inside. That’s where the real ‘meat’ is in fact, not on the outside, not on the images, values and perceptions we can create about another’s image and presentation.

As an extra note, it speaks volumes of ourselves in the way that we decide to SEE others: do we decide to turn them into objects of our fascination and infatuation? Or do we decide to learn to see through the immediate picture and into them, into who they really are as beings, to see who they are in their words and how congruent that is with their actions. The same being applied back to ourselves of course, how much are we focusing on how we look, dress, how we want to ‘appear’ to others out there, because what we are and by the laws that we live by in our own being, we recreate out there in multiple forms and ways, therefore, hereby I make a decision to stop fixating on an external picture – no matter of who or what or at ‘what level’ – and focus on the substance that is in each being or expression that is here, in fact being one and equal with myself.

Thanks for reading.

 

Supportive material:

 

Live Drawing 2007

 

Learn how to Be Free of Fixations

 


476. The Taste of Real Freedom

Or how to walk through from transient obstacles/mindfucks and delusions to a solid and grounded decision of self-creation

 

A simple reflection today on how to turn a situation of apparent conflict or stagnation into one of active involvement and participation, so that one can create a solution to such point of ‘stagnation’ and in doing so, at the same time,  discover so much of ourselves that we would have missed is possible to do, be and become if we were to hold on to seeing, perceiving, judging a situation as a ‘problem’ within us, towards others, in others or ‘out there’ and how empowering it is – for a lack of a better word  – to take matters into one’s own hands and realize that we are the only ones that create limits based on how we believe ‘things have to be’ and not daring to step outside of the box.

This can be as simple as when I finally decide to open up a point in me that I had only been dwelling upon in my mind, considering it to be ‘not that relevant’ or ‘too extensive to change’ and when deciding to take it on, open it up, write it out, expose myself to myself, I realize that this seemingly previously ‘arduous task’ or ‘difficult decision’ is but a perception that is much easier to walk through by simply doing it, instead of giving too much thinking and pondering into ‘why we should or should not do it’ – meaning, the key here is to just do it.

Then while making that decision to open up that part of ourselves, a ‘point’ in our lives that we have been dwelling upon with no resolution, we are already taking one step into self-honesty, understanding ‘how’ we have created that part of ourselves, why we have resisted it so much and push to see straight to the core: to see myself as the sole creator of that reality and experience – not blaming, not judging, no projecting unto others – but take my whole authority and so authorship upon my own life and creation.

This is a key aspect there so that I don’t’ generate distractions from seeing straight into who I am, what I have been and done and so placing myself in the position of my own creator: deciding who I will be in order to change this one point of conflict that I was procrastinating to look at.

Then the last part is when actually deciding to change, when genuinely being willing to stand up from a particular ‘stuckness’ or conflict or a problem, that’s where we clear up our starting point of supporting ourselves and deciding to make the necessary changes in ourselves to live those fine-tunings in our reality, the kind of changes that  we can direct and act upon ourselves, because this is all about self-direction and self-creation, whenever we place faith upon others or ‘the world out there’ to do the change for us, what do we know? We are missing out a key point of self-creation: it’s got to be entirely possible to be created on a day to day basis within ourselves.

A basic example here is how upon deciding to not indulge in a particular set of experiences based on memories, fantasizing about a seemingly ‘good experience’ and deciding to instead live in self-respect, to honor not only myself but also the situation or people I am integrating as part of ‘my mind fantasy’, I am able to stand in a clarity that can literally feel like a ‘weight off’ of one’s shoulders. This then creates a form of clarity, of integrity and transparency within ourselves because there is nothing else that we have to be hiding or scheming or having backchats and hidden agendas about – one gives oneself the gift of standing in absolute accountability through self-forgiveness.

Here, walking self forgiveness means that I go acknowledging my potential consequences if I would continue following and feeding such apparently ‘nice experiences’ in my mind that are actually very, very unrealistic when writing them out ‘on paper’ or on the computer, they are lacking all sorts of foundation, they are fueled for nothing else other than a desire for ‘novelty’ that when seeing it for what it is and comparing it to physical reality and the possibilities that I can create and grow in physical reality, then I can get to a point of clarity within me in what I choose to continue feeding and nurturing in my life, it becomes a ‘no brainer’ in that moment when writing something out in self-honesty and with a clear decision to stand up and correct oneself in those situations.

But, how ‘clear’ was this before I actually opened it up in detail? Mmm, dare I say ‘not much’ or more like it’s much easier to kid ourselves in our minds and only thinking that we ‘know what we are doing’ and what we are ‘feeding’ but, it’s a whole different thing to decide to write about it, uncovering all the nooks and crannies of it and having that starting point of deconstructing one’s delusions, to be honest.

So, upon walking this decision and living it out in reality, physically, testing out my resolve and point of focus, I could actually see how in a way foolish I had been to even give so much attention/energy/thoughts throughout time, in my day to day, towards something that truly is nothing else but a distraction from self-creation, with no substance other than fueling a particular ‘ideal’ or ‘desire for experience’ based on the ‘who I was’ in the past, that is not here as myself at all.

It was quite assertive to see this for myself again in my process, how the more one makes decisions to live self-honestly, the more liberating one’s reality becomes, and realizing that the whole ‘imprisonment’ in desires, fears, perceived ‘wants and needs’ are nothing else but our creation, we have literally place our own barriers and cages based on all sorts of mind delusions that we have many times – unfortunately –dare to live out, act out on them as if there was any ‘real substance’ in them, when in fact they are usually constructed and made out of energy, composed of things like fears, desires, ideals, personalities, preferences, judgments, etc.… all of them being nothing else but the flimsy transient experiences that sometimes we build and grow so much in our minds that we believe are ‘worth’ it to the point of jeopardizing solid and stable parts of our reality ‘in the name of’ an energy experience.

I’d say, dare to step out of the fear to open up those seemingly ‘uncomfortable’ aspects in yourself, those things that we actually feed quite a bit on a day to day but don’t dare to admit we do – write it out, very important! Writing it out to be read, spoken out loud along with its due self-forgiveness and lay out a resolution, who you decide to be in relation to changing that part of you – test it out from that moment on and see the results.

This doesn’t mean that ‘this point is utterly solved’ – no, many more aspects, dimensions of it might come up related to it, but this one basic resolve, awareness and understanding of one’s experience related to this ‘one part/one point’ in ourselves, is a good foundation from which to continue facing any other parts/aspects of it that may create noise in time to come. This is true freedom to me, the ability to take matters into my own hands and walk, apply the point by myself, by my own resolve, because I have created myself as my mind, I am the one that has gotten myself to where and what I am now, therefore, I can decide and stand as the building block of the ‘me’ that I am willing  to live with for the rest of my life

 

Thanks for reading.

Sea of Liberation

 

Learn how to Be Free

 


471. Self-Forgiveness on Self-Limitation

Or how to see through fears and paranoia within a scenario of facing manifested consequences

 

There are various things that have created an impact on me just in the span of the last 12 hours and I’m seeing things that I considering as clearly before. The context is seeing some of those manifested consequences for the first time in my life quite ‘in the corner of my street’ type of thing which is something entirely new to me to be honest and it’s been happening in various ways around here: so-called threats from cartels asking for ransom, car parts being stolen more frequently in these seemingly ‘safer’ areas and the recent lootings that took place in this side of my city where even a Wal-Mart that is some 500 meters from here had to close down and consequently every other shop was closed yesterday after 6 pm to avoid further lootings – unprecedented for me and everyone else I asked in my environment.

What happens is there has been a raise in fuel price and there are people that in an attempt to spite the government and ‘big corporations’ they have been looting stores, closing down roads that in turn have created much more problems and loss  than any of the ‘goods’ they stole from countless stores nationwide yesterday. I was appalled last night upon becoming aware of this and how easy it is to drive people through fear and paranoia at the same time, but also how the design is not at all responding into ‘what is best for all’ but immediately ‘grabbing what you can while you can’ and not minding at all who gets a consequence for that.

The word resilience opened up yesterday assisted me to remind myself to breathe to not go into the same ‘wave’ of paranoia that everyone around here was… few times I told people to calm down, but it’s not possible to ‘change’ someone just by saying that, it’s still a self-responsibility point. I simply had to embody that stability myself and keep explaining how we don’t have to participate in fear – but to me in my experience it was beyond fear, a sort of sadness to see this happening and how limited we still are when it comes to trying to fix problems.

So here it goes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to belief that the way to create a solution to the problems is through sabotaging, maiming, destroying and ‘getting it all while you can’ in an attempt to literally ‘fuck’ the people that I perceive are in power and to blame for the recent rises in prices in the gas and consequently potential inflation to come from it – not realizing that spite, blame, maiming and destruction will never be the way to create a solution nor make a ‘statement’ because in doing this, we only show how limited we are in perceiving ‘no way out’ but to riot and be opportunistic against the people that we believe are ‘more powerful’ than us, when in fact it is ourselves that have enslaved each other/ourselves in various conditions in our society – economically and socially speaking – therefore, playing the blame game and trying to ‘punish’ some for perceiving that they have ‘punished ourselves’ is nothing else but playing the victim and so justifying the spite that in turn only creates further loss, further destabilization, panic and paranoia all around that no one benefits from.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel appalled upon getting to know that people around me can act in mob styles to be opportunistic about a situation that has become a feud towards the government, where I see the role of people playing a victim, of us all playing a victim, not realizing that we have created the government that we have, that we ARE the government that we have in our very own thoughts, words and deeds at an individual level – and the proof is that what a few in the elite classes do in a ‘legal manner’, the majority in this whole country ended up doing in seemingly smaller scale but with equal consequences – or worse – of disruptions, loss, destruction and in general not realizing that we are playing out the exact same nature as anyone else in a position of power that has abused such position and power, which means: we can’t at all blame anyone for the situation we have co-created, we are ALL equally responsible for the manifested consequences and the only way through is to acknowledge and understand how arbitrary our limitations are, how we have created and imposed them going down the road of fear and control – instead of realizing we can self-forgive and change those arbitrary limitations to create a better outcome that could stabilize everyone’s livelihood and not only that, but pave the way for actual growth and thrive.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get trapped in a limitation where apparently we cannot fathom a life without oil, a life without all the stuff that is available in stores and forget about the actual possibilities that can emerge if instead of working together to create mayhem and destruction and ‘fucking the one next to us’ – we could focus on standing together to create solutions, creating what’s best for everyone and that requires a willing decision to understand that any opportunism to ‘trump’ others will only bite us all back in the ass because everything that we do affects us all equally because the problems we are facing are equally created – not only by governments, not only by big corporations, not only by the elites – but each one of us that in our very own thoughts, words and deeds still decides to spite back and take revenge instead of considering what would be most beneficial and best for everyone.

I realize that in situations like that what takes over is the compounded emotions, accumulated frustrations of endless years that usually end up in break outs like this one or revolutions or wars that are never the solution. Therefore, I realize our limitation in how we haven’t learned to cooperate, to join forces for the best for all, to create something together that we can live by and guard ourselves but instead are creating a rebellion against that which we’ve placed and created as our ‘authority’ by design, by acceptance and allowance only to have something or someone to blame for the mess we’ve accepted and allowed and have created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain in self-limitation after an entire human history or wars and revolt and civil wars where we haven’t yet learned to decide to cooperate, to unite to create solutions but instead, immediately act based on an emotional outrage that leads to more destruction, more decay and giving a full step back to a very primitive human-nature state of ‘survivalism’ which proves that there is a long way to actual human evolution if we really want to get to thrive in this world – and this requires an actual forgiveness and understanding from those that feel the most oppressed to realize that we have all been equal co-creators of this current situation and that nothing will advance but only worsen if we keep falling into spite, blame, vengeance/revenge, righteousness in believing that we have a right to protest and demand, while remaining victims in a comfortable situation so as to not have to acknowledge that this entire creation and all of its problems are emanating from the same source: oneself, self-separation, self-degradation from life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also be taken over by images seen in the media about the events and generalize and think that ‘the person next to me’ is probably as spiteful as those seen looting the stores, when in fact this is not so, it does not happen every single day and it’s not a majority either. Therefore I forgive myself that I have had a tendency to limit myself and other me’s as human beings by suddenly painting everyone with the same judgment and limitation as in being ‘back to square one’ of human evolution/decay, instead of realizing that this is part of my doomsday character personality that continually has sought reasons, justifications and excuses as to why humanity stands no chance for a world change. I have to stick to being that ‘hope’ of humanity and work on it within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel sad, appalled and disturbed by seeing the nature of what we can be as human beings wherein it only ‘hits home’ this time because of how close to me it all was, but I’ve seen it happen everywhere else in the world so this is only a proof that I have been living in a comfortable bubble where all ‘the problems’ seemed to be out there/far away from here, instead of seeing that as with anything these outcomes are a potential in all of us to create, we all are equally capable of creation and so destruction – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be blinded by the self-imposed limitations when it comes to the current economic and political situation we are in, wherein we have allowed ourselves to believe that the only way out is through chaos, mayhem, destruction, and forgetting all about self-responsibility, our power as creators of this reality to create, to solve, to change the so-called immovable ‘laws’ in our economic and political systems so that we could realize at last that this limitation, this lack, this poverty, these prices, these authorities are all self-created and are standing as a proof of our very own accepted and allowed self-limitation and delusions that CAN be changed if we all decide to do so.

Therefore I realize I can only focus on myself seeing through the veil, seeing through the play outs, understanding them as an outflow of our creation that we all have to learn from and stand up equally – I cannot go changing each person into seeing this, but I am not defined by what others in their own awareness and volition decide to do or not to do, but to focus on what I can do, correct and align within myself, stand by, communicate and suggest as solutions, to not fall prey of fears and paranoia that are part of the chaos that is sometimes deliberately created to then implement ‘new ways of security’ or further control upon the population, which is yet another limitation that we’ve imposed and collectively created upon ourselves based on our seemingly impossible ability to change, to stand as principles and remove the veils from our eyes to see: we’ve all co-created this all, there’s no one more or less responsible in this, we’re all it, we are only spiting ourselves, we are only biting our own tail, we have to stop it and act in supportive ways.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget living the word expansion as in being able to see through a situation and see the bigger picture, but still fell into a powerless experience within seeing it ‘very difficult’ to step out of this situation in this country – while fully knowing that there are consequences that we are going to be facing and that they can only be but a catalyst to sort out the problems we’ve been dragging for far too long – and realizing that this won’t come at the ‘higher levels’ of our society, but has to start in cultivating all the values that I see are not being considered by the most that seem to be very fixated on waging war against an equal me that we’ve placed as ‘president’ who has become a human piñata where everyone has deposited their own blames towards, which are nothing else but effigies/roles that we’ve elevated to the status of gods and authorities that we have placed deliberately in those positions of ‘power’ to have someone to blame and so abdicate our own collective equal and one responsibility to the whole of our thoughts, words and deeds.

In this I have to make peace with the fact that it might seem like a seemingly small point for me to stand in self-awareness in a ‘sea of trouble’ but, that’s what I decide to be and do and so not fall prey to fears and paranoia, but to remain focused on expanding myself, going beyond the seemingly overwhelming situation so many people got caught up on emotionally on and so acting based on those emotions as fears, spite and self-interest, while realizing that it was mostly a scare happening in the mind because as we spoke of it and sat in the comfort of our homes, they were only situations taking place in some stores and gas stations – so, I have and we have to remind ourselves that there is always a choice in deciding to join the disaster and paranoia chorus or stick to principles and remain settled – and that the more we stand without fears and stability, the more we will realize the actual powers and ability we have to create solutions, so here we have to persevere in our best-for-all intentions and not succumb to the chaos.

This is something to apply both in an internal and external level, because if we look at the driving force behind any form of destruction: it’s of emotions, it’s of the mind, it won’t create any solutions at all, it is only our attempt as consciousness to ‘fix problems’ while being blind to the obvious destruction and consequences this creates and forgetting that we don’t do it to ‘others’ as there are No others, we are all IT, we are ‘them’ and so we essentially are shooting ourselves in the leg.

Therefore, we always have the option to stand up from it in honoring the life that we have, to not follow ‘the mob rules’ within ourselves and live in self-respect – towards oneself and everyone else – or fall prey of one’s deliberately created weaknesses, spitefulness, blame, vengeance that are truly those aspects of our human nature that have been perpetuated generation after generation and thus have to come to a stop here, one by one in our individual decision of who we decide to be – who’s who in the zoo type of decision.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel embarrassed upon seeing what fellow human beings can do which can only exist if I am holding an expectation and a judgment toward other people according to what I would like to believe they are, which is also an illusion and the point here is for me to consider yes, the potential that exists in all of us, but also not being blinded by it and trying to color everything in a positive manner but remain realistic in the realization of what’s happening when it comes to facing and creating our own consequences, so as to be reasonable enough, to be careful and considerate enough at the same time.

The key here is then to not exist as judgments upon what’s happening around me and so now is the time where I have to pull my non-existent pants up and apply what I’ve written out many times here and actually get to live that in thought, word and deed while yes, remaining cautious, aware and considerate of how things go around here because that’s just what manifested consequences are: we cannot change them but we can change who we are within and while in it all.

I commit myself to continue expanding myself in seeing through the limitations, the consciousness play outs and wreckage that we’ve co-created and that’s happening at the moment and stick to my own core and stability as the life that I am, as my physical body in holding within myself that potential that exists in me and everyone else that decides to also opt to live their potential for a common benefit – we don’t have to get discouraged by things around us or fellow human beings that decide to spiral down the emotional consciousness way, but stick to principles, stick to common sense, stick to physical groundedness and not get into a smog fog of current situations – but breathe through it, walk through it holding steady to our own truth and responsibility to it all as well as standing as and holding that potential that is here in everything and everyone, it’s up to each one of us to decide what we do and where we stand within it all.

Thanks for reading and let’s keep walking

 

keep-calm-and-forgive-yourself-4

 

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462. ‘Fake News’ Crackdown Starts Within Ourselves

Or how to take an external problem and start changing it from within first.

It’s been interesting to look at the developments in relation to the media and how there’s been a mainstream media attempt to ‘black out’ alternative media or any kind of news/media that is not coming from ‘the establishment’ and making campaigns to flag it as ‘fake news,’ which is supposed to discredit and now ‘filter out’ news from appearing in social media places like Facebook based on supposed (paid by same establishment, lol) ‘third party’ fact-checkers that will have the power to decide what you get to see on your news feed as ‘real news’ and discard all things that usually represents a threat to the current system as ‘fake news’. So, that’s the latest ‘crackdown’ on people that have conducted investigative journalism in an independent and most of the times crowd-funded manner.

However upon looking at this censorship attempt by ‘the establishment’, I also took it back to myself to see what the word ‘censorship’ means in the without and so in the within of myself. It wasn’t so difficult to realize how it is directly in line with what us, people, tend to usually do whenever we see ‘the truth’ of ourselves coming through as that kind of truth that makes us ‘uncomfortable’, those aspects of ourselves that keep us in a never-ending inner conflict that we constantly try and suppress, shift aside, run away from, shove aside, leave for later to look at – while opting to keep pushing our own actual ‘made-up’ news as the ‘controlled news’ the ‘positive side only’ as our on agenda to keep an idea of ourselves in our minds and believe ‘it’s who we really are’ which is usually – but not always – a ‘better, noble, good’ representation that we like to believe is who we are, that we in fact create about ourselves as ‘our truth’ with which we interact and go with the flow in our reality.

The question is: isn’t this exactly what we see is happening ‘outside’ or in the exterior reality as this ‘alternative media crackdown’ that represents – in some aspects – that truth and real facts that we are usually supposed to remain oblivious of? Because getting to know ‘the truth’ could, in more than one way, start undermining the whole ‘empire’ of control from particular ‘factions’ that run this reality show we are living in. Here, it makes a lot of sense to me to first look within myself before I start judging how ‘bad’ it is that there’s this crackdown on alternative media, and how much ‘deception’ is going on against ‘truthers’ and people that create their own media with a seemingly honest approach.

I looked at how easily we go into victimizing ourselves, always immediately jump into looking for culprits/who to blame and join a pity-party with those that are victimized (and apparently disempowered) about the situation. But, rarely do we ever take that phenomena, that situation happening ‘outside’ of ourselves and look at it from the within.

Here then I can spot ‘censorship’ as self-suppression, self-censorship, hiding and shifting away responsibility, where we hide ourselves from our ‘true facts’ and our ‘real news’ in seeing exactly what’s going on within ourselves and to what extents we can go to sink down to the bottom all of those actual day to day experiences we’re going through as all those emotions, judgments, fears, reactions, destructive behaviors and patterns that we just refuse to look at, refuse to even attempt to change them – we usually don’t want to face them and so we pull out the card of ‘fearing’ all of it as a way to not actually face the truth of ourselves.

Well, this censoring of ourselves is exactly us in our minds, being and body playing our own ‘establishment’ crackdown on all things that represent our truth, our current actual ‘state of affairs’ that we have to work on, open up, face, confront.

What do we do instead? We put up the actual inner fake news as the ‘ideal’ state of being that we play on as a character and in various personalities with which we cover-up the actual – usually – bad experiences, problems, fears, manias, addictions, discomforts we are going through – we keep telling ourselves that ‘we’re alright, that all is under control, that there’s nothing to worry about, that we are happy and joyful’ and repeat it like a mantra attempting to numb down the actual conflictive experiences that in fact seem to grow and grow the more we broadcast our fake news within us… leading us then to a plethora of ‘mental problems’ that are more and more common these days, a lot of them I’d say based on this constant denial of what is HERE as ourselves.

Who is the ‘establishment’ in the within of ourselves in this analogy? One may ask. It is ourselves as our minds, our ‘ego’ if you will which is that part of ourselves in which we have automated our lives to be a ‘never-changing’ and ‘always conflictive’ type of persona that is always juggling with consequences, always going down the ‘downward spiral,’ always giving up to any sort of self-support, always seeking for short cuts/easy fixes and quick ways out of anything that would actually mean getting to know the (uncomfortable) truth of ourselves, to recognize, face and be willing to work with/process through all of those aspects of ourselves that we can in fact face, confront, embrace and (very important!) take responsibility for as parts of ourselves that we can then direct ourselves to actually, genuinely change.

 

See, what is the main factor driving the mainstream media crackdown against so-called ‘fake news’= alternative media/independent media & journalism? Fear of losing control, fear of losing ‘people’s minds’ and guiding everyone to a certain type of information and ‘awareness’ in order to keep the masses following as ‘intended.’

Now let’s go into the ‘within’ of ourselves, what is driving ourselves to suppress/hide/block ourselves from seeing and facing our inner reality in our minds and in our day to day experience? It’s also fear, which is nothing else but a mind/mental defense mechanism that prevents actually ‘cracking down’ our own lies and deception. Fear is nothing else but an experience that can be stopped and transcended once that we realize that there’s no point in holding on to a comfortable (lie) idea of ‘control’ over something that is not genuinely supportive in our lives!

What does this mean? Why do we hide and fear facing the actual truth of ourselves, that nasty, not nice at all, ugly aspects of ourselves and our experiences that we actually know ‘are there’ because it is causing us constant conflict, constant anger, constant depression, constant need for this or that drug or way to ‘ease the pain’? Why do we try and ‘control’ it and ‘ease the pain’ and ‘numb’ ourselves with doing anything and all we can – from drugs, to obsessive compulsive behaviors, to creating destructive relationships, to addictions to entertainment, porn, sports, food and a big ETC. – in order to keep ourselves from actually opening ourselves up, removing the self-censorship to then make a decision, a self-honest decision to Embrace, Understand, Investigate and get to know what we’ve become and so, accept and face our consequences while knowing that we can actually change from it all, how to do this? Self-Forgiveness.

There is nothing else that I’ve found as supportive and all-encompassing as our ability to self-forgive every and all aspects of ourselves that we have in fact created within ourselves, that we have continued to accept, allow and feed in various ways, that we have continued to hide from and ‘fear facing’ when in fact, there’s really no place to hide for real. It’s the same as what the ‘mainstream media’ is facing when it comes to the internet and all the ways in which regular people are building ways to continue propagating the real news, the real facts and push forward ways and means for people to be genuinely informed.

As within, so without. Same has to also happen within ourselves, and I see it happening in fact within many of us where we are no longer that fearful of seeing ‘the truth’ of ourselves and sharing it out, we are becoming more and more open to face that ‘nasty self’ if you will that we don’t have to go into guilt and shame about, but directly and straightforward push ourselves into the process of self-forgiving those points, recognizing our responsibility to our creations and acknowledge the consequences of this massive self-suppression, so that we can then start changing those thoughts, emotions, fears, destructive habits and patterns into self-supportive ways to live, learning how to effectively walk through the plethora of ‘fake news’ we’ve told to ourselves in our minds, all the lies, all the deception, the self-manipulation that each one of us has done to ourselves – and so toward others in our lives – in an attempt to represent ourselves as a ‘fake news’/better version of our reality that is no longer able to be sustained, but is now bursting at the seams so to speak which in other words means: the time is here for all of us to start pulling off that veil from our eyes, from our very own personal reality. This is the real ‘apocalypse’.

And here then is also a note on this necessity to focus more on ourselves, because we loooooove to keep ourselves in the sensationalism manufactured by the elites/establishment or however else we are calling them these days as the ‘controllers’ of it all and see ‘them’ as the problem… lol, the joke is on ourselves of course.

It’s so easy to distract ourselves, dissing the track that we can create to take us back into ourselves, our very own lives that we have to change and take responsibility, instead of keeping participating in the fear and sensationalism that is created precisely on the news to keep ourselves in our minds ‘out there’ entertained, mesmerized, feeling ‘powerless’ to do anything ‘out there’ to change anything …. Really?

That’s why the key is to look within ourselves, and that’s where the real ‘meat’ of this whole process of self-awareness is, because as long as we believe that all that matters is to be ‘well informed’ about the ‘truths out there’, we are still being caught by the balls – sorry but that’s what it is – when it comes to generating actual, real, substantial, long lasting, rooted and self-empowering change.

Therefore, change starts within ourselves for real. It starts when we actually make a firm decision to develop and integrate the principles that we are seeking ‘our media’ to do for us ‘out there’ within our lives first of all. Aren’t we quite hypocritical then when we go asking ‘others’ to do for ourselves something we haven’t even done within ourselves first?

In order to stop feeling ‘powerless’ to change things out there, let’s start with ourselves which is to be honest, even more so developing SELF-honesty as to understand how we create our own experiences, how we are the sole creators of everything we are, have become and will create in the future as well and understand this not as a ‘burden’ or ‘something too big to carry on with’ as a realization, but as an actual point of self-empowerment through taking self-responsibility of it, because it then means we have the actual ability to change things, because it’s about  doing it ourselves to ourselves!

How? Developing self-integrity, self-honesty, self-vulnerability, courage, lots of courage really to let go of the so called ‘fears’ and be willing to grab our own bull by the horns, because: it’s us! There’s really nothing to ‘fear’ except if we wanted to keep a good image of ourselves in our minds (our fake news broadcast) and fear looking at ‘all the bad’ … but, all of that ‘bad’ and ‘negative’ is ourselves in fact! We have to embrace it, we have to face it, we have to dive into ourselves and understand it so as to no further judge ourselves for it, not to go into guilt, regret, shame, remorse and create another ‘trap’ seeing no way out from there either, that’s what this process of Self Awareness at Desteni is for, is here for all of us in humanity to finally ‘wake up’ but not in the form of information and knowledge ‘out there’ to consume every day and then believe that ‘we are informed.’ Nope.

This process is an actual self-investigative journalism that can then become the new ‘media’ as these blogs sharing the keys and support on how to do it yourself. And that is definitely life changing to the point where surely, you will still be able to identify ‘fake’ and ‘real’ news because once one has identified the deception, the lies, the dishonesty within oneself makes it very easy to spot the same ‘on the outside’ – but the most important part is that this reality that we uncover within ourselves and we then take through a process of personal change, growth and expansion becomes something that cannot be banned or ‘removed’ from us, unless we decide to ‘go back into hiding’; it cannot be ‘censored’ by anyone or anything ‘outside of ourselves’ because we are standing as full authors of ourselves in our every thought, word and deed in ways that we realize is best for ourselves and so best for all in equality. That is what real power means to me really, and that’s what I call real change as well, where that simple decision to not ‘follow through’ our usual experiences, our ‘usual thoughts’, our selfishness, our emotions in fact becomes the real ‘revolution’ if you will, one that no ‘elite’ or no ‘media establishment’ can ever get to censor or ‘black out’, because it is within ourselves! We will then become our real, self-honest, integral self as our new nature that will in turn – with time and new generations to come – create the new media that we all know is most beneficial to have, no longer existing as ‘fringe or alternative’ but as the ‘new normal’.

And that’s how we take one problem manifesting in the ‘outside’, take it back to ourselves to ‘fix’ it and correct it, align it and take responsibility for within ourselves, so that then it becomes – as we go and in a parallel mode – the new creation, the new expression that we can collectively create once that more and more people start living this inner-process of change at the same time.

I invite you to start this process today, it takes writing, it takes your absolute will and decision to investigate your fake news and real news, it takes dedication to change yourself, to help yourself, to be that one point that no longer feels satisfied with ‘getting truths’ out there, but that sees there’s some inner-work to do in order to change the without.

Join in!

 

My favorite supportive audio to understand self-suppression and a MUST Hear:

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:

 

Control


445. Living Self-Forgiveness: Jealousy

One common thing that can emerge when working with and applying the tool of self-forgiveness is that throughout time as in months of years of writing it out, one can still find oneself going into the same patterns such as an emotional reaction, or having the same ‘insta-behavior’ come up as an experience within us toward someone in our lives that doesn’t seem to change at all or ‘get better’ with time. Throughout assisting myself and others in this process of understanding and living self-forgiveness, a usual or common thing to conclude of this experience is that self-forgiveness is not working, it’s useless, it has done nothing to me, it’s supposed to be good but I haven’t noticed any changes after writing it, not seeing a result after writing heaps of self-forgiveness…

Well, this is where the ‘who we are’ within writing self-forgiveness and in the entire process of deciding to apply self-forgiveness is what matters. I’ll share some of the ways I’ve noticed that self-forgiveness is understood as and I’m going to share what I’ve seen thus far to possibly ‘dispel’ or clarify for anyone that is already well into their process of living and applying Self Forgiveness some of these experiences.

For more reference on what ‘Self Forgiveness is’ please read:  Self Forgiveness: How-To, Why, What, Where, When?

 

One aspect is when we give self-forgiveness as the process of writing it out some kind of ‘magic’ quality or ability to ‘immediately release us’ from such experiences – merely through the act of writing or ‘spelling it out’ as is. This is something that entirely depends on ‘who one is’ when writing self-forgiveness. Writing Self-Forgiveness is not merely an intellectual process of placing these letters of ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself’ and copy-paste them into a line and go filling it out with all the things we have seemingly done ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ within ourselves… I mean I can understand why it may seem like a repetitive mantra if anything when seeing it written out in a single document. However, what actually matters is ‘who one is’ when writing it out: are we writing it out as a form of self-communication, of self-exposure, self-declaration or even ‘confession’ of what one has been and become and then asking ourselves: are we writing within the hope that the very ‘writing out’ of it will ‘resolve the point within oneself’ as in merely ‘typing it out’ and printing it out or sending it out as an assignment or publishing a blog and ‘be done’ with it? Or have others see it and believe that ‘one is walking one’s process’? Nope, it doesn’t work like that and it definitely defeats the whole purpose of the SELF in self forgiveness. However this is not at all a judgment, nor will any of what I’ll share as examples of how this can happen, because we have lived our entire lives mostly focusing on ‘others’ and how ‘others’ perceive us, how we ‘feel’ toward others instead of focusing entirely on what we create and live Within ourselves, which is very different and something that is necessary to be willing to walk through and understand when applying self-forgiveness.  

I’ve had many conversations before on this point and how self-forgiveness if genuine in one moment, it in fact could take one single statement/writing and sounding/voicing of the Self Forgiveness in order to realize what one is doing, being aware of the responsibility one holds within such point one is forgiving and then being able to – in self-honesty and self-responsibility – create that space within oneself to admitting it, clarifying it and so laying the experience/pattern out in the form of self-forgiveness in written or sounding manner to then, ‘flag point’ or make a ‘mental note’ – for a lack of a better expression – about such point/points to change within oneself from now on, so that every time that the same pattern ‘rears its head’ one is able to remember “Ah! This is what I’ve self-forgiven, this is the moment where I now decide to change and act according to what I’ve written out in a self-corrective statement” or “Ok, this is the moment where now I decide to live the word I saw is the way to stand up from this experience within myself”

And so practically – every moment, every day – whenever this same pattern ‘rears its head’ in any form, one is then placed in the right spot to do the actual living change process, no matter how many times or how long it takes. This is what is often missed in the process of ‘applying self-forgiveness’ where it is mostly a written process, as if it was a ‘spelling out’ of one’s demons for once and for all and be done with it to burn it to ashes and have all of it ‘deleted’ from our bodies, our minds and beingness. Nope, doesn’t work that way, it entails a process of Living Self Forgiveness.

What does this ‘Living Self Forgiveness’ process mean?  How I’ve seen it is that when writing out self-forgiveness within the stance of actually and truly being willing to stand up from an experience, a reaction, a character, an ‘addiction’ one may have towards an experience or anything else that one wants to change within oneself, the writing out of these patterns is an interactive process of genuinely recognizing these – excuse the words but – fuckups within oneself that one genuinely recognizes we need to change if we are to become a better person, if we are to become the potential we are aware we can be. This practically means that if there is no actual intent and acknowledgement on how to actually ‘walk the talk’ as in walk the corrections in real time which entails a change in one’s way of communicating, behaving, dealing with or being within a certain moment or a particular person, it becomes no different to signing a contract that one eventually breaks the next moment when not living up to what one has agreed to be and become or do in a written manner, no matter how masterfully or how many pages one can write about the pattern: the proof is in the pudding.  

Here is then the point where we might perceive that Self Forgiveness is not working or it is ‘failing us’, because one can simply not be acknowledging the actual living process of practical self-change that comes From the moment one Decides to write out self-forgiveness, from the moment that one acknowledges there is something to change and work throughout time – and space – to change, align or correct within oneself to then live the way that we see is best for oneself and so best for others as well.

 

Another aspect in which one can ‘think, feel or perceive’ that Self Forgiveness is not working is when one has lived out a pattern or an experience for many, many years and then expect that through writing some Self Forgiveness sentences – or hundreds of pages on it – should already free us from the same pattern or behavior for once and for all, when this is also not really so. Why? In the mind, every time that we participate in a particular pattern or experience, we create layers of that upon our very own physical body as a form of conditioning.

I’ll place an example, let’s say one is experiencing jealousy toward another person and one participates in the experience of jealousy toward that person every time that one sees the person, thinks of them or someone brings up the name of that person and we react with the same backchat or even just physical discomfort of how such person is ‘better than me’ or ‘prettier’ or ‘wiser’ or ‘richer’ or whatever it is that one is envying/being jealous about another. So, every time one goes into the experience, one creates a layer of the same pattern imprinted on our very own physical body, and so It is no different to when one practices to master some kind of skill or ability, where through repetition and so practice we ‘get it’ or are able to ‘perform it’ or do it without a sweat/ without great effort; same goes with these behaviors we actually now want to change of ourselves, where we didn’t realize – or want to realize – while we were becoming jealous about someone that we were in fact participating in the experience of jealousy and so becoming emotional about it, maybe if not even thinking of it, experiencing our body being tense, uncomfortable whenever that person was present or mentioned or anything like that, because of the extent in which we have programmed ourselves – through repetition – to react that way in relation to that particular person. 

This is really the most nitty-gritty or challenging aspect of Living Self-Forgiveness, because this is where the ‘proof of the pudding’ is once again, where one can write hundreds of self forgiveness statements, hundreds of pages about how one has related to that person one experiences jealousy toward, and lay out all the corrections to the point where In Theory it sounds great, all aligned and considering common sense, etc. But! If when one is still in the presence of the person, or when the person is even mentioned or when one even places that person in one’s imagination and Still one gets the same discomfort, tension, almost a ‘paralyzing’ experience that we’ve defined now as jealousy, then it means that there IS something that we still have to practically let go of in those moments of justifying our reasons to be ‘jealous of,’ it means one has to – depending on the severity of the physical experience – rather direct oneself to do something physical in that moment to step out of the experience, besides breathing and slowing down and so create a new direction in the way we want to relate to that person.

In this example of ‘walking through jealousy’ I can suggest living the word ‘equality’ wherein In the moment I notice that the ‘layers of the accumulated jealousy’ toward another kick in in one moment, I stand back for a moment to first stabilize and then bring through within myself the corrections and realizations I have written out before in relation to the person; this means to simply to remind myself that ‘I have walked this experience in relation to x person, therefore, here it is, the opportunity to stand as an equal to x and rather learn from x, communicate with x to establish a supportive relationship where I can in fact acknowledge that what x is/has/is becoming is in fact an expression of what we all can be in our own individual ways and lives, which then directs me to consider and focus on the potential, being grateful with that other person for doing or being something that is supportive toward themselves, life, others and so being an example toward myself and others of what one can get to be/become as well. This sounds also easy to say, but in that moment one has to become aware of potential so-called ‘resistances’ to not realize this, because in our minds we have to understand we have become very dependent on rather relating to others through conflictive relationships rather than supportive ones, and that’s where one has to ‘push’ at times to do what is most supportive, it won’t come ‘easy’ or ‘natural’ either and that’s how one knows one is ‘on the right track’ too, it’s getting out of the previously created ‘comfort zone’ as ‘jealousy’ toward another, preventing us from actually standing equal to others and appreciating them and their expression.

One note to consider in this point of jealousy, here to acknowledge the differences of life experiences and so processes that each one of us will walk through in our lives, where one cannot really ‘compare’ oneself to another person, because, it is really like wanting to compare two trees and deciding which one is the best…. This of course considering that I see trees as an immediate form of reference for uniqueness and individuality, yet ‘sameness’ in the sense that we all know what a ‘tree’ is and can be, but ultimately no tree can be like another…. Lol, it’s funny how sometimes we forget to apply this same thing to ourselves as human beings, but it is so.

Therefore living the self-forgiveness to stand as an equal to another in the moment of facing a ‘possession’ of jealousy is to physically, practically, in every moment that this experience ‘rears its head’ or even we see the tip of it coming up, that we remind ourselves of the written/self-forgiveness process we have walked about it, what our corrections and alignments were and stick to that as a new way of living and relating to person x from here on, for life.

Another layer of the challenges one can face is that if one has lived such a pattern of jealousy for say decades on, it makes sense it will take quite some time to be able to stand fully clear in front of person x and be devoid of jealousy toward them, it really depends on each person and there’s no rule to this either as to ‘how long’ it will take, because this is more about the absolute standing of ‘who one is’ in the moment of facing that other person and so actively deciding to change or not: am I already deciding to live the word equality and appreciation of another’s life and expression? Or am I still holding on to seeing myself as inferior, not as good as, or not as ‘wealthy’ or whatever it is I might compare myself to another for?

The decision to Live Self Forgiveness cannot be altered or changed by anyone else but ourselves, we can only continue kidding or deceiving ourselves or not, and that’s where the development of self-honesty comes through as an actual Living of Self-Forgiveness where one no longer sees ‘others’ or a situation as ‘the origin’ of the problem, but we instead understand how we’ve made of everything and everyone like triggers to make some of our self-cultivated and planted experiences pop out, because they exist within ourselves, we’ve given them our ‘breaths of life’ to create such thoughts and experiences, so it’s never really about ‘the other’ person or situation, at all. It’s always about what we have accepted and allowed to exist within us as an emotional or feeling reaction, a judgment, an opinion, a behavior, a practice, a thinking pattern… etc. These are the moments of real change where I’d dare to say that Self Forgiveness is like laying down the theory, the ‘recipe’ for something, yet the actual proof is when the theory is placed in to practical living application, where one takes the recipe and follows the steps one has placed out to create a certain outcome, and in doing so being willing to practice it, to go through trial and error, to even re-write the steps to the correction and test it out again and repeat it as many times as it takes to get to an optimal stable stance and experience – in this case or example – when facing, communicating, interacting, thinking of or hearing/reading the name of that particular person one has experienced jealousy towards.

And here there are also some points to be aware of such as ‘wanting to for once and for all ‘make peace with’ or ‘bury the hatchet’’ in relation to our experience toward another  and so making it all seem ‘done’ and ‘be ok’ with it on the surface, but this will be proven insufficient or superficially done when facing x person again and seeing the same experience come up, and that can be most likely because one wanted to simply ‘get it over with’ and ‘be done with the experience’ through writing out self-forgiveness, but the reality is that all of that becomes just an attempt to have a ‘quick fix’ and it most likely proves itself to be when the same experience is still there, which means: one has to dig deeper or simply make a more firm decision within oneself to actually change when facing x person.

Another layer of self-deception that prevents oneself from living self forgiveness is a more ‘sneaky one’ lol and that’s if one holds on to the same experience – consciously or inadvertently so – that stands as a point of stubbornness within oneself where one wants to Hold On To the reaction of jealousy or any other emotional reaction toward the person ‘because of….’ And here come all the justifications, the excuses, the ‘reasoning’ as to ‘why’ we are meant to keep or hold our jealousy toward that one person… here what one misses is that we are not really doing it ‘to them’ or ‘to person x’ but we are doing this to ourselves! We are the ones holding on to this stubbornness of reasoning and justifying why we are jealous of them… which of course defeats the whole purpose of walking self-forgiveness and self-honesty, because one is not yet fully and entirely willing to let go of the knowledge and information as reasons and justifications that create a self-righteous experience one has ‘toward another.’

I’d say this is the most self-deceptive and so – by means or as a consequence our own creation – the most difficult point to be at in one’s process, where one keeps pointing a finger at ‘the other’ as ‘the source of the experience’ – which forms blame, self-victimization, self-pity and inferiority, self-righteousness, stubbornness –  and considers that either they are the ones to change ‘toward us’ or we can’t just stop this seemingly overwhelming experience which – I know, I know – it might seem very overwhelming, very ‘potent’ at times, but it does take that continuous practice and so facing and interaction with person x to be able to practice our new stance toward that person. This is a Physical Doing, a learning process just like we – so to speak – ‘learned to be jealous’ at another, but now it is about first stopping giving into the energy of jealousy, stabilize oneself through breathing, taking a ‘step back’ from the situation, deliberately realize the common sense of where one wants to stand and be in relation to x person and others and so live that through communicating, interacting, sharing, being with person x and others in the way that one sees is most supportive for everyone. So that’s why Living Self-Forgiveness is a process: takes time, takes self-will, takes a continuous decision and diligence, a form of self-discipline  it takes courage, it takes letting go of one’s ‘pride’ or any other idea of oneself in relation to others, takes humbleness to acknowledge the points one still has to work on and be completely OK with doing it as many times as it takes to get it to a point of effective self-support.

This is part of what I’ve discussed and concluded also in sharing about these same points with several people, of what it takes to actually change something and what the whole meaning and purpose of self-forgiveness is as a ‘giving oneself a second chance’ to live in an effective manner. There are many more, plenty more ways in which one can self-sabotage one’s living of self forgiveness, like when one wants to hold on to some pattern or experience as a form of blame toward others, as a form of self-punishment, as a form of ‘specialness’ or self-definition, as a form of self-pity to then justify not doing the actual effort it takes to create changes in one’s life… the list goes on, but ultimately one can spot these for oneself if one develops a self-honest approach to one’s process with a genuine initiative and starting point to see and realize what one has done or inflicted upon oneself and so others, and decisively live in a way that is most supportive for oneself and others because, really, we don’t ever ‘win’ anything from living in jealousy or any other reaction toward others, we diminish ourselves and our potential, so it’s about time we give ourselves that will to walk through the challenges, walk through the consequences and face the music for the better.

As one can see, this is then not a single ‘once off’ writing out of the patterns, self-forgiving them and believe that one is ‘freed’ from it forevermore… nope! Self-Forgiveness is not a magic spell or a prayer where hoping and wishing that it will ‘go away’ exists… not at all, it is the first step of laying out the acknowledgement, realizations and so practical, physically tangible and descriptive ways in which we are actively deciding who we want to be and how we want to live for the rest of our lives! Easily said, but! A whole different thing is to walk through it, and this is the ‘gist’ of this process where ultimately it is up to each one of us to do it.  

I can only share these words but it is so that each one of us knows exactly when those moments where the potential, the opening, the ‘moment’ of change is here, in front of us, where we either take it and walk it through – as long as it takes, as challenging as it can be – or we decide to keep ourselves looping around like broken records, stuck in the past, in the justifications, in the stubbornness, in the laziness that one can also get into when perceiving it ‘too hard’ to change something, which simply means there’s more self-introspection to do to realize how empowering it is to take self-responsibility, more direction to decide to change oneself and realize how one can actually have the ‘wheel of one’s life’ if we dare to ‘walk the talk/writings’ or do the actual practical ‘field work’ of our self-corrective statements. Nothing that is worth it comes easily, and so the same applies to this process, yet we tend to forget how honoring and supportive it is to walk this process, every phase and moment of it: it’s for ourselves and it is an actual ‘learning how to live’ process, which won’t have this ‘immediate result’ either or an ‘end point’ itself – which most likely be when we die, lol – so it is definitely about learning to live the best way possible and continuing expanding ourselves and our relationships with our life and that of others through it.

Lastly, I can only suggest that the best way to walk and live self-forgiveness is through genuinely and willingly seeing the reality of ourselves – which is not nice or pretty or something laudable yet– but at the same time also assists us to see the potential we can create by our decision, by living words, by changing the way we decide to live our day to day, moment to moment in whatever and with whomever we are. That’s where the reality of this process resides in.

Thanks for reading.

 

For an actual walk through the construct of Jealousy, check out:

Artwork027

 

Learn HOW to start doing this yourself :


425. If We Dislike Deception, We Have to Become Self-Honest

There is a phase when one becomes aware of the extent of the problems in the world and we go through the vast amount of information that is at our finger tips nowadays and really get to know the nitty-gritty details of the actual prison that we’ve created for ourselves, and the challenge that comes with this is: how not to get imbued by the perception of the ‘oh so ever powerful ones’  – that are in fact a minority in this world – being the sole problem and the ones to blame for everything that’s wrong, we perceive them as being invincible, which is precisely part of the function that they represent within the whole construct of the system in itself. Sometimes the information and getting to know ‘how deep the rabbit hole goes’ becomes a reinforcement to the belief that “there is no possible way out because ‘they’ are everywhere/ ‘they’ are so powerful and invincible.” In that, we actually psychologically become subdued to what we accept as ‘their power’ which we believe ‘is so real’ that the only thing that we apparently can resort to is blaming, complaining, judging others and believing that: there is no possible way out, so why bother? This is the mentality that we have to stop and that I’ll share here how I’ve managed to constantly work on preventing me from falling on the same old patterns.

 

Identifying one’s reactions to the problems

From my perspective and personal experience, it all begins with simple steps, such as how you engage in discussing relevant topics and ‘less known’ information that is termed as ‘conspiracy theories’ which many times are not ‘theories’ but rather the hidden/occult history out of our text books in school and universities and usually explain the actual workings of  this world system, such as who has been in fact ‘behind it all’ and the mechanisms used to galvanize it, which implies that we also had to be part of such control system by compliance. An easy response to knowing ‘who’s who in the zoo’ and in fact ‘sitting at the top of the hill’ can result in us reacting with anger which in turn leads us to ‘spew our mind out’ in blaming and finding this/that president/corporation/elite person as the culprit,  which is not necessarily something that can be supportive for others that might come through and read these comments and opinions on Facebook – or any other social media site – and be exposed to this information for the first time and be shocked at discovering that their president is waging a war in Somalia, Yemen and Pakistan killing over 2000 civilians, which means it is killing people that have most likely nothing to do with any sort of potential terrorists – yet this is all being paid by your taxes… In this case,  what would you say to ‘you’ as that person that is informing themselves about the ills of the world system for the first time, and realizing that their taxes are being used to obliterate certain nations to keep control of poppy fields and trade more drugs? Reinforcing the predictable behavior such as blaming, complaining, calling names and spurting general outrage about it is Not going to solve anything.

 

So where do we start, then?

One thing that I suggest starting with is considering self-responsibility – which is a tough point, and not many people are willing to recognize it, because it involves stopping feeling righteous about calling out the abuse and instead becoming a co-creator of the mess as well. t is about realizing that by virtue of living in this same world: We Are ALL Responsible. So instead of trying to ‘change the world out there’ which becomes indeed an ‘out of reach’ type of experience when considering ‘Oh my god, I have to change the entire world!’ we have to instead consider that this change begins with taking our own lives into our own hands, to become an example, which means: start with our own life.

I bet you also began questioning why this world is the way that it is and why are people in power only being corrupted and evil and being protected by the same laws we are supposed to abide to – is the system rigged in some way? So you as I did most likely began investigating, educating yourself about the problem, developing that interest and critical thinking skills, asking questions, and maybe even getting to know others that were also starting to look for similar answers. What I’ve realized now is that understanding the problem is one part of the solution, but then comes the necessary rule of Taking the point back to oneself and so Dare to ask the more uncomfortable questions, the kind that we’ve forgotten to ask ourselves all along such as: where was I when all of this ‘conspiracy’ took place? How have we allowed ourselves to be consumed and entertained to a point where we forgot about our responsibilities?

Instead we’ve learned to equate happiness to consumption and not consider how real happiness could be genuinely built if we could all come together and agree to integrate the principles we want to live by as a society into a new proposal for a political/economic and social structure, starting with the simplicity of how we can grant each other – for example – the basic right to live in dignity? This is what the provision of a Basic Income entails. This leads to the recognition of Self-Responsibility which implies ‘They’ and ‘Those in Power,’ the ‘Invincible’ ones or those that we perceive as ‘Untouchable’ are not going to give up their power, nor do we have to focus on ‘them’ to create any form of solution either. Instead it’s about focusing on how to empower myself and others at the same time with developing this self-awareness and an understanding of the problem, without reacting to it in the predictability of anger, frustration, rage, blame and wanting to tear the government building down – but instead with maturity and self-responsible assessments.

It is about motivating oneself to see through the a new solution-based mindset and at the same time, inciting others to consider self-responsibility and Act in the awareness of ‘How can I be the solution?’ ‘How can I consider Self-Responsibility?’ within the understanding that we won’t change ‘them’ or others for that matter –  we have to be the ones that step in, we have to be the ones that are willing to correct all of our personal ‘flaws’ which entail a personal debasement to for example, believe that we are disempowered. Instead we have to prove to ourselves that we can stand up as a reformed and corrected type of human being – as a New Human Kind –  that stops all forms of hatred, deception, violence, defensiveness, attack, complacency, defeatism, laziness, conformity and the ever so corrosive illusion of powerlessness, which is precisely what I many times have considered that is created as a result of an extensive amount or information on the fickleness of the human mind that might become emotionally affected by it, becoming obsessed to continue ‘dwelling’ on the same problem in spirals without landing on Earth back with solutions.  It is at the same time strange because this creates a strange sense of false-empowerment that leads – most of the times – nowhere; very, very few are able to read, understand and use the information and awareness constructively to continue building a foundation that gathers even more reasons as to why, for example, in the case of the American ‘Secret War’ as the Drone-Wars, the funds that go to combat a deliberately created boogie man, sending people to kill and enrich all the military contractors, should instead be spent in funding the provision of a basic income in America and creating a genuine safety net to prevent an upcoming crash that has been vaticinated for some time now, yet is already quite palpable based on the amount of poverty that exists in the U.S., isn’t it? So instead of waiting for the war-jackpot to hit home and revive the economy – why not informing people about the possible solution of using that money in a supportive manner that benefits the common man at home – it is about informing the society that such Military Defense budget Is in fact people’s taxes – this is just to name a brief example.

In this, I do not speak of creating Hope either, as it becomes a ‘waiting mode’ with idle expectations based on someone, somehow ‘turning the tables to our favor’ which won’t come at all by itself, and even if it happened that way, we would still then miss out the process of realizing that we actually have to be the ones that must do something about our lives – this whole process of facing massive consequences in this world is in fact a gift to allow ourselves to see what kind of responsibility we’ve abdicated throughout time, and so at the same time realizing that it is in taking self-responsibility that the solution begins.

 

What are the Practical Solutions then?

I can share with you what I’ve done myself which begins with getting to halt my own spewing that I used to vehemently defend and share with anyone else that I could as ‘my right to point out all that is wrong’ in this world and just remain there, in that complain, in that sense of protest which I lived as what I’ve denominated ‘The Loathing Politics’ character and having an ever present and growing hatred and disgust toward virtually anything that has to do with power and politics.  I live in Mexico and one of my first ingrained memories was listening on the radio about the release of a secret tape where some politicians and party enthusiasts were hiding voting ballots beneath the carpets of some governmental building during a presidential election, this was then about the politicians doing the necessary ‘dirty job’ to rig the game…  this became part of the pattern lived throughout my life of getting used to hearing about corruption and political neglect on a daily basis, it is a part of ‘how politics work’ here, hence my loathe and despair to it all back then.

So, to the day (January 30th) 7 years ago I decided to change my life and perspective toward it: from depressive and giving up on anything related to politics/system/society to recognizing that if I want my life and that of others to be genuinely good and supportive = I have to directly do something about it. It all started by me walking my own self-forgiveness on the past hatred toward every aspect of my life that I knew was detrimental to my personal development – this includes my reactions to ‘the world system’ – specifically politicians and people ruling in the catholic church – and so made a clear decision to for once and for stop being the predictable robot that only knows how to complain and blame.I decided to Stop adding my own bs and reactions to ‘those in power.’ Instead, understanding more about ‘the truth’ of this game led me to gather more and more reasons to understand that if a ‘few’ could do it, then our potential if united as the 99% of the world that is not ‘rigging the game’ can form an agreement to take responsibility for creating a new starting point in our society. I’ve also realized there is a massive potential yet to be unleashed that we have to begin growing and enticing within each other with simple steps, changing the way that we look at politics is an example of where one can start with.

 

“We need to do the opposite of what Russell Brand is advocating, we need to use our votes. Even if we don’t want to engage with the current broken system, we should not use that as an excuse for apathy. We should see it as an encouragement to engage in creating our own alternatives, our new co-created systems; to be creative about it and to connect. Connectivity is the key to a rapid change; but information in itself is meaningless if we don’t know how to decode it into wisdom.” –

Birgitta Jonsdottir  “Democracy in the Digital Era” – January, 2015

 

 

This is thus about first understanding the problems, understanding the ‘power structure’ and so realizing that if we see politics plays a big role, if CEO’s play a big role, if influential people in communities play a big role = then We have to become such ‘big roles’ as well! This won’t be an easy task either, because we are all essentially predestined to continue blindly walking the path of the least effort, giving up on the first obstacle we encounter, seeking the most reward without having to move a single finger and so on….  well, those days will be over soon.

We have to consider that we’ve allowed ourselves to be slaves for far too long, therefore it won’t take only 7 years to ‘wake up and change’ – no, we’re talking about walking through the human conditioning that’s lasted for thousands of years, which has increased in the last century at a rapid rate and is ever present now with the ability of be intercommunicated at all times. However in a way it also prompts us to consider first and foremost: how have I contributed to the problem as well with my inaction to take responsibility for it? Is my anger, hatred or blame supportive for myself or anyone? If not, then what would I do if – for example – I was ‘Obama’? or anyone you perceive has more ‘power’ than you for that matter…well, the thing is: we all have the ability and potential, we just squander it too much when being overwhelmed and emotionally driven to give up or just continually seek to focus on something more pleasurable and easily rewarding which is part of the necessary elements to keep ourselves in a divided and conquered mentality = this is the human failure that I decided to not be a part of anymore.

What do I practically do and support?

I support myself and other individuals to walk through this same process I just described, which is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever conceived I’d be doing with my life  – after perusing a rather selfish career in visual arts – and I gave myself a purpose to every single day share what I learn, what I consider as solutions, what I see as the problems and how we can use a documentary, a blog, a news article to reflect how what goes on ‘in the world’ as our individual and collective creation.

So, you can hear all my daily recordings which is a relatively ‘new’ project here: http://mixlr.com/marlen-vargas-del-razo/showreel/ – I support and am directly involved in the promotions of the  Living Income Guaranteed Proposal Living Income Guaranteed Proposal http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal / http://youtube.com/livingincome along with an exemplary group of people around the world at Equal Life Foundation which is part of the various efforts that we’ve proposed throughout the years as stepping stones toward political and economic change, while emphasizing on the necessity to include living principles which are similar to the same ones I’ve shared about my personal process.

So for example, providing a basic income/living income is a starting point to first get ourselves out of this survival-coerced mode and so, give each other the certainty of having the necessary to live. This in turn frees the necessary time to educate ourselves, to realize that it is about us now proposing solutions and giving that opportunity to each other to see who would we really be once that money stops being the main problem and obstacle for our personal and collective development. This also requires the will and volition to develop self-leadership and self-governance. It is not an easy task to do, though it is Not impossible either and everyone at ELF can be an example of what it is to live a regular life and still have the time to actually ‘walk the talk’ and direct ourselves to embody the principles that we agree on, the principles that we want to live by as a society and as a result of understanding the problems, which is what many people in the informed community already does – so now it’s about time to take the next step to encourage the development of a solution-based mindset.  

 

Giving up based on how ‘bad things look’ has become a common excuse to not do something about it – my take is: what else is there to do anyways in this world if not attending the problems we’ve caused? What else is there to do if not attending and raising your children, becoming an example of what is to do your work in the best possible way, supporting others to become better themselves, to recognize their potential and assist others in developing it –  which can be done once that one works on one’s own  – practicing our communication abilities, creating supportive personal and working relationships, becoming a living example of what is to Really ‘Be the change you want to see in this world’ and the list goes on…It only takes a decision from ourselves to be a part of the not-giving up group.

 

I would not even focus on trying to awaken those that are too fearful or complacent to even spare some minutes to read, watch or hear something that is beneficial to the whole. We tend to discourage ourselves from believing ‘no one cares’ when in fact, many Do care, but have no idea of where to even start with looking at a way through this mess, so that’s why education and information with a directive proposal for solutions is required and what we are in fact here for, no matter how ‘impossible’ it may seem at the moment – everything starts steps by step with oneself, isn’t it?


 

If we want to stop corruption, then let’s develop self-integrity, if we want to stop all lies and deception, then it’s time to develop self-honesty, if we are tired of ‘greedy people’ then we have to focus on developing moderation and being able to spot our own behavioral patterns and impulses where we give too much attention to that which only benefits ‘me’; this implies being a little bit more ‘selfless’ which is not giving oneself away, but developing a genuine care and empathy for others around us, as they are ‘us’ as well –  yes, even those in ‘high places.’ If we are so tired of the ‘same old’ bs, well, we have to also do some self-introspection and be willing to see and recognize what of ourselves we would like to change, what destructive patterns and habits we have that we know only lead us to a predictable outcome of failure/giving-up/passivity/complacency… how about instead we start considering how we affect ourselves/ others with our words, actions and inactions? What would it mean and what would I do if ‘I’ today had to become a person that is at the service of others like a public-servant/politician?

These are questions that lead us to recognize that we don’t have to wait for a president to give us nice answers on how to solve the problems, we can instead begin this process bit by bit ourselves, no matter how ‘unrealistic’ the feasible solutions might seem, because this ‘unrealistic’ conclusion about possible solutions becomes part of the obstacles to not think outside of the box and is part of the most common sabotage to potentially great ideas that, fortunately, are gaining more attention these days. 

These are the kind of questions that lead us to introspect and ensure that we live every day willing ourselves to see beyond the ‘fog’ and not get overwhelmed by how things currently operate. The trick is not to get lost in the rabbit hole and come out of it scared and only recreating another war as overloaded criticism and antagonism to those that we perceive as ‘the only culprits,’ or to try and attempt to ‘take the power away’ from someone through protesting and waging war – yet another one – with words, imaginations, intentions and predictable defeated outcomes.

This genuine (r)evolution is about focusing on individual self-change so that the way that we relate to one another and the world itself becomes the sheer result and accumulation of these seemingly ‘small changes’ that will certainly not get ‘Obama’ out of office – but will in turn encourage many others to start seeing behind the fog, to consider ways out in a human brain that is designed to always only focus on the friction/conflict and problem… it is about time we get rid of the belief, hope and sheer religious faith where we think that ‘those in power had to do this For Us’. It is about outgrowing the notion and comfortable denomination of ‘those in power’ by realizing that we are in fact the ones that abdicated such power: we are the majority therefore, we are in fact all capable of standing up for what we see will make our lives much better.

Our biggest problem at the moment is apathy and the perception of being powerless, and with this we do a disservice to life when we get too informed about the ultimate nitty gritty on conspiracies, but we don’t act in ways that prove we understand the problem and so have a better notion of how to start solving the problems as well.

 

I quote Junaid Malik with whom I fully agree with when it comes to the solution he proposes, and when I read his words I was glad to realize that not everyone that informs about the actuality and depth of the problem leaves a blog without a clear directive to self-responsibility:

 

There is no short term solution to the multidimensional problems we are facing. Education and awareness are key prerequisites for the change, which can only be achieved through a long term process. Instead of being selfish we will have to revive our faith in self-sacrifice for the common good. Instead of accepting an unequal educational system, we will have to educate all the children, the next generation in this country, without discrimination. Education doesn’t mean reading, writing or getting a degree and finding a job. It means learning to see through the façade of pretense. It means attaining knowledge and wisdom; knowledge to understand what’s going on and wisdom to change it. Let’s give it a try and hope that our next generation, once educated and enlightened, will stand against injustice and inequality, showing the oligarchy the exit door and replacing it with capable individuals in the decision-making process.” – JM http://wp.me/p2zw1Q-1o

 

So, my suggestion is that instead of continuing to rehash the same old predictable self-defeat, we use our time, our words, our simple interactions to share common sense = What WE Can Do in order to realize that it is about US learning to agree on what is best for all, learning to properly communicate, learning to always take the finger back to us and be willing to recognize our own flaws and self-deception first, and so prevent ourselves from jumping into conclusions and criticizing others – it is about being willing to give it our All that is humanly possible to correct the mess we’ve co-created – we all know what would make our lives in this world better, so why don’t we instead focus on working on that which is not only meaningful and gives a new sense to our lives, but absolutely necessary and ultimately our responsibility to the generations to come?  

 Thanks for reading and: walk along if you are ready to stand up

 

You can listen to the original version of this writing here: http://mixlr.com/marlen-vargas-del-razo/showreel/if-we-dislike-deception-we-have-to-become-self-honest/

 

world_change_self_honesty_responsibility_basic_income

 

 

 


424. The Importance of Resolve

 

Sometimes we embark ourselves in a decision to change something about ourselves, to stop a particular abusive pattern, to align an aspect of our behavior or to cut ties with particular relationships, however what tends to happen is that we’re not entirely successful with this endeavor if we are missing a key ingredient to make it work: resolution.

 

 

This came up as I was writing on a personal matter that has ‘haunted’ me in my dreams for a long time now in relation to a specific past relationship in my past,  and I have been throughout time applying self forgiveness on the various aspects that mostly come up in dreams and I have wondered: but why is this STILL coming up? Isn’t it sufficient to have walked on this point for over seven years whenever the same comes up? And so I was looking at the word that I was missing, a clue on what I wasn’t fully considering in this process applied to this particular past relationship and the word is Resolve – and as I was reading the definition of course it clicked: I require to have an unwavering, firm, absolute stand in relation to the actual closure of this point within me in my mind and the decision of who I decide to be toward this point in my reality.

What I realized is that I had probably written a lot about it and I understand the reasons why it comes up, but it’s funny that I made it a bit something ‘more than myself’ as if it was something ‘more powerful’ or ‘sticky’ in a way that made me still dream about the same point in various ways and perceive it as something that would take ‘forever’ to let go of  or give closure too, and even speculated on why this point is ‘so strong’ which is not recommended lol, well at least it brings up further points for self forgiveness on other ideas, beliefs, perceptions as the reasons we give ourselves to make the point ‘more than us.’ However, as I was reading the definition of resolution, it all clicked, the simplicity of the solution was in fact in the word resolution: I realized that I had in fact left some kind of ‘open back door’ in my mind wherein I could still in some unconscious way ‘leave a possibility open’ for me to still hold on/cherish these memories just for the ‘benefit of it’ due to the value that I had given to that relationship specifically when it comes to the starting point of such relationship and what I believe ‘it gave me’ which was related to in this case, a perception of getting ‘acceptance’ and ‘worth’ from another, which were words I hadn’t lived as myself then.

So, what am I really missing then here which is what I will now commit to live as myself around this point? Resolution, which is giving an actual closure, having the resolve means having the firm and unwavering  stand and decision to fully let go and fully stop participating in entertaining the memories around this point, which I have actually been working on these past months since I wrote the blog on: 416. Relationships: Not about the Taste, but the Nutrients – however I do recognize that specifically on this topic, there hasn’t been like an absolute, full resolution to stop all attempts of me in my mind going back again on the subject, which even shows up in dreams at times.  This will be then a process of being fully diligent with not entertaining the same point, not ‘feeding’ it even by associating places, things, colors to that same construct of that part of my past which I’ve defined as ‘haunting’ which of course is not that it is ‘haunting me’ but rather how I have entertained it/ fed it for far too long even if the actual relationship is no longer part of my life.

I have to stand in full resolve to do this, there is no ‘middle way’ here and in a way I’ve seen this as the ‘toughest’ point thus far because it seems to ‘still be there’ no matter how much I have written about it – but I do fully see that it will take absolute discipline to stop revamping memories and experiences for my ‘personal consumption’ in a literal manner.

 

 

resolve

  verb

1  settle or find a solution to. Medicine cause (a symptom or condition) to heal or disappear.

2  a firm decision. a formal expression of opinion or intention agreed on.

3  Music cause (a discord) to pass into a concord during the course of harmonic change.

4  (resolve something into) reduce a subject or statement by mental analysis into (separate elements or a more elementary form). chiefly Chemistry separate into constituent parts or components.

5  (of something seen at a distance) turn into a different form when seen more clearly. (of optical or photographic equipment) separate or distinguish between (closely adjacent objects). technical separately distinguish (peaks in a graph or spectrum).

6  Physics analyse (a force or velocity) into components acting in particular directions.

  noun

1  firm determination.

 

 

 

ORIGIN

          Middle English (in the senses ‘dissolve, disintegrate’ and ‘solve a problem’): from Latin resolvere, from re- (expressing intensive force) + solvere ‘loosen’.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apply ‘full resolve’ to some points in my life, but those toward which I had built a ‘sentimental attachment’ then believe that I can somehow ‘leave around’ in the back of my head as if they were really ‘a part of me,’ instead of realizing that it is in those points that I keep myself ‘locked’ into aspects of myself as ‘my past’ that have no space in my current reality other than in my mind – therefore, I see that the moment that I allow myself to go into one single moment of ‘acceptance and allowance’ and/or indulgence of memories, thoughts, experiences, links to that one point in my past as memories, I reactivate the whole construct once again. Thus,

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that this point was ‘more than myself’ because it had come up over and over again and even in dreams, not realizing that even if I was writing it all out, I recognize that I am not yet living this absolute resolve to change this one point specifically in ALL dimensions, including the obvious tendency to still ‘give into’ the memory in dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not yet be fully diligent and stand in equal resolution to who I am when awake in my dreams, because I have defined in an unconscious way dreams to be the ‘last memory bastion’ wherein I could still have ‘my enjoyment’ about things, people, experiences that are no longer here in my reality – thus I realize that I have to fully let go of this false ‘enjoyment’ in dreams and realize that every moment that I indulge even in dreams around the same point, I make it part of my reality again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still ‘indulge’ into memories and experiences around this particular point in my life through dreams and even more so to want to keep sleeping whenever this point emerges in my dreams, instead of realizing that it is because I haven’t fully made  a decision to not participate in anything that has to do with this one point that the dreams occur as the obvious reflection of my suppression around it, of the denial of myself still wanting to ‘keep’ this point in my mind and believing that ‘I got it all under control’… but this is not really about ‘control’ but being willing to absolutely stop participating in memories, links, thoughts, experiences, dreams and any sort of nostalgia of the past around this particular point.

I realize that it is not that the point has ‘kept me locked’ but that I have been the one giving all of this energy and resistance to it throughout a long time and because I haven’t been absolutely living the resolution to stop it, it’s been a recurrent dream, a recurrent point in my mind-reality which of course has nothing to do with who I am here in physical reality any longer.

 

I commit myself to fully stop all thoughts, all memories, all experiences, all yearnings around this point. This is it and I’ll be the one knowing how effective I am in this stance and resolution on this point, as I realize that I am the only one that creates the haunting , not ‘the point’ itself.

 

 

So it’s interesting that in order to give resolution to something, to ‘solve it’ is to actually loosen it, to let go of it with a firm and unwavering decision to actually do so, to live that decision in every moment that I see I slack on the same point and allow myself to ‘wander’ around it again. I realize that resolution is what I require to apply within me as an absolute stance of who I decide to be if I am already now witnessing what happens when I don’t have an absolute resolve around stopping something within me. Thus, it’s a matter of absolutely just doing it, living it – but not allow just ‘bits’ here and there as that one single ‘bit’ of indulgence reactivates the whole construct once again, I make it part of myself, of my moment here which has nothing to do with myself and my reality any longer – it’s just memories that I have given fuel and importance to, that I have fed with energy to continue defining me according to ‘my past’ which doesn’t make any sense at all because this process is not about ‘fixing my past’ but changing who I am in relation to it.

 

So hereby I establish how in order to resolve something that I haven’t been ‘solving’ in an effective manner, is to check my resolution on stopping/changing or aligning myself in relation to that particular point I want to change/stop and align in my life. So simple, yet as it is said: the devil is in the details.

 

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Watch:

Desteni Movie Night – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Read:

Day 56: Letting Go of an Old Flame

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


422. What is Happiness to me?

Is happiness only a state of mind? Is it something that lasts for a few moments only? Is it only embedded in the image of someone smiling, people jumping with their hands up in the air? is it the image of a peaceful and pristine paradise? is it a work in progress?

 

We had a two day workshop on Redefining Happiness, and what came up was an interesting and self-supportive array of points to consider within ourselves, to re-look at what one had previously defined as ‘happiness’ and so then walking those points within self-honesty,  collecting considerations and looking at practical aspects that are required within the creative and living process of happiness in a self-honest and self supportive manner. So here’s my self-investigation that culminates with the integration of realizations that came through during our group chat on this topic.

 

 

Happiness

 

Not long ago I would have defined happiness as something that is just ‘bollocks,’ an easy way to sell products, a blatant way to sugar coat self interest or else, but as with all words in our reality, due to the resistance that I had to even look at it, I decided it was rather best to start redefining words and walking a collective process to align our definitions to a common sensical outcome and creation. So, I’ll start here by disclosing my past-relationship with the word happiness.

What I had defined as happiness had to do with what I had learned I should ‘aim to live’ in my life, that ultimate goal that would make me absolutely blissful, content and fulfilled with myself. I definitely had trouble at times pondering what this could be because I could feel ‘happy’ for example before and while I would go to a music concert from my favorite bands when I was a teenager; as a pre-teen I could feel ‘happy’ after having binged in rollercoaster rides, and maybe happy as the experience I had when I first flew in an airplane when I was some 6 years old, also skating, jumping in an elastic bed or swimming were part of my happiness during childhood. Later on I started defining happiness according to being with certain people and in certain relationships, which has also to do with the ‘grown-up’ idea of ‘being happy when having relationships’ for example as a common goal in life.

Also, my idea of happiness was linked to ‘who I wanted to be’ as an artist for example, or a writer at times. I would picture myself being alone and living in some big city and being famous/recognized, earning good money and so being able to travel around the world and having the kind of ‘bohemian’ type of life where I would not have to worry about money and I would only have to pursue my personal satisfaction of fame and glory, lol. I thought that happiness was precisely getting to travel the world, showing my art in such places and having nice dinners with famous people or something, to be ‘in that circle’ of intellectuals and artists and so forth. Fascinatingly enough – and glad about it as well – I got to have a bit of a taste of this last early on as I was ‘sharpening my knife’ to be part of the art world and got to travel to another country and exhibit my photographs and hang around people that everyone would recognize on the streets. So I ‘luckily’ got to see what kind of agenda/day to day living they have, what is it like to be a genuine public figure, what happens to your ‘private life’ and family etc. It was very interesting that my whole expectation of happiness slowly but surely fell down the drain, because I could not feel happy about doing what I thought was going to make me happy, and so with that came what I call a ‘breakdown’ wherein I felt very lost/sad/depressed for a couple of months after having done that trip/exhibit, because I did not know if I wanted to ‘be an artist’ anymore or if that was genuinely ‘my idea of happiness’ any longer.

 

Right away after that, I started seeking other ‘spiritual’ ways to fulfill this longing for an apparent ‘happiness’ without getting anywhere really, mostly aiming at ‘helping others’ without having the least intention to first focus on supporting me. I kind of knew in the back of my head that it wasn’t ‘it’ and that it wasn’t going to work for real either. So, after this one trip I had, which was almost/exactly 7 years ago, I spent months really looking at whether these ideas I had built around happiness were in fact MY idea of happiness, and it was only 3 months after that when I discovered Desteni and so my perception of everything I had ever desired, wanted or deemed myself to ‘be’ changed almost completely. This is where I started to ponder my previous ideas around happiness as ‘the goal in life’ and got to understand happiness mostly as an energetic experience that one gets as the result of some input, like for example when taking drugs and getting ‘high’ and ‘feeling good’ and associating that with happiness – that type of experience, which is all a mind job of course.

I saw that my idea of happiness had to go through a process of purification if I can call it that, I realize that I had only aimed at benefitting me in pursuing MY dreams and in that, I was in fact forgetting and not considering everything and everyone in that equation.  Once that I had a bit of the taste of the ‘personal happiness’ or what I had defined as such, I realized that it actually made me feel emptier and more depressed than ever, because I saw it as meaningless = not doing something that I was yearning to do as in creating a ‘greater change’ or ‘saving the world’ out there.

So, it has only been through walking this process of self-support and self change and having the ability to self-forgive all past ideas, perspectives, illusions and desires for energetic experiences that I have been able to now trust myself in the ability to redefine the word ‘happiness’ so that it doesn’t become this fleeting and flimsy experience in my mind and body, something that ‘comes and goes’ but becomes an actual living word not only for ‘me’ but for everyone as well.

 

‘All I want in life is to be happy’ is a common goal in our lives, but this also means that we have been defining happiness with as many different meanings as there are minds in this world, some common aspects are linked like money, good relationships, good sex life, being the best at something, having good health and such, but do we ponder then why have these become desires instead of ways in which one actually lives the construction of such happiness? Why have we made of happiness an ideal, an ever elusive ‘goal’ in itself instead of practically assessing: what do I require to do to build a general stability in my life, a personal and collective wellbeing, a point of financial stability, what can I do to develop supportive relationships? How can I nurture myself in a way that is beneficial for my body? How can I stop worrying about this/that situation in my life? How can I change the world system so that it benefits all instead of preventing ourselves to live our fullest potential? How can I develop my expression and support myself and others with it?

 

See, happiness usually comes with a desire to ‘have no worries’ or be completely devoid of responsibility, without realizing that if one simply places oneself swimming forever in a beach at the Caribbean and do nothing about oneself or ‘the world,’ man, one could end as the richest yet most disgraceful person in the world – why? Because happiness is definitely something that entails us LIVING in a full manner in this world – and within this, what does it mean to live fully? To be a point, a person that lives and creates one’s personal well-being while at the same time contributing to the collective well being.

The problem that we have at the moment is that our general ideas of happiness have become very varied, very personal, even linked with products to buy or so – how can that be? This is why here we propose looking at happiness as the ways in which we can practically empower ourselves and each other to fully live in this world.

Within the documentary called Happy, many definitions and ways to live happiness are shared, and it’s interesting to see of course, to have a look at how personalized this idea of happiness has become whereas in other cultures/parts of the world, the idea of happiness is embedded within a collective wellbeing. There they define 2 aspects of happiness the intrinsic and extrinsic aspects, which I will share here now as parts that I have come to realize within walking this process.

 

We got the intrinsic aspects which have to do with

– Personal growth: which is precisely what I have seen is and has been absolutely life changing from 7 years ago, to walk this process of self-support, to develop self-honesty, to develop common sense which is the consideration of what’s best for all; to realize that I can change myself, that I have the tools, that I can trust myself in being able to walk through any point in my life to get to a point of stability within and without. This is definitely essential as an overall self-process that I can attest here is a genuine source of wellbeing, because one is also no longer defined by emotions or feelings to define myself, so I rather focus on supporting me, my mind, my body to live in a general stability.

– Close Relationships and the feeling of living in community: developing relationships with people even if they are not in your immediate environment, but relationships where self-support is the starting point is within my life and experience one of the most gratifying things, to be able to support me and support others, and work with people that are equally walking a process of taking responsibility for themselves, living day by day within the commitment of supporting and changing themselves to within that, also change the world is one of the most satisfying things as well. It would have been very tough to do this process of personal support alone, maybe impossible – so I definitely recognize the power of walking with a group of people – physically or non-physically around – to support oneself in this process of self-change and self-support. These relationships go beyond a ‘friendship’ or a feeling, they are genuine bonds of co-creation that will surely be long lasting.

 

The Extrinsic goals:

– Money is something that is definitely needed to create a financial stability for oneself. It is definitely something to question if a poor person claims to be absolutely happy, how can that be if happiness is about living up to our utmost potential? That means then requiring at this moment in this world money to be able to obtain the necessary resources on this. So, this is a genuine point that one does require to be ‘happy’ at this stage, to have a dignified living – which is definitely different from only desiring money as an ultimate goal – nope, money is a means to create such support and to nurture/sustain ourselves properly, but ultimately, greed is of course also a point to debunk within self-honesty, because no amount of money can create ‘wealth’ in itself if we weren’t living in our awareness of the interdependence we hold to each other individual and part of this reality.

 

– They claim that Image, personality and status or popularity is something that also gives happiness. I question this as a sense of ‘ego’ creation, though in a redefined manner, this can comes by default when one works on oneself and one starts focusing one’s life to support oneself and so be an active agent of change in the world. One’s words, thoughts, deeds start speaking for themselves and so this ‘recognition’ is not then a popularity game of sorts one participates in, I’d rather place it as the ability and potential we all have to stand as an example of what is possible to live and become when establishing living principles of what’s best for all in our lives.  This is then a point where one can simply recognize and acknowledge one’s living day to day actions and see the benefit of them for what they create as a consequence, and develop a sense of honor to oneself and all life around us which is definitely what I can also link to a sense of happiness, of fulfillment, of genuine stability and way to prosperity.

 

There was also a point wherein I simply denied all happiness to exist, and yes just as love defined as a slight or overwhelming churning of energies within ourselves, as an energy experience it is definitely not something that I could ‘forever experience,’ because it’s only momentary which indicates: it’s a mind job. Thus happiness had to become a word that I can mostly live through the consideration of how can I build, create this point of self-support, self-stability in my life and reality, how can I cooperate and co-work with others in order to create a change in this world. So, what’s interesting here is that me desiring to ‘change the world’ would have been also a point I would link to happiness, but little did I know that if I had only sought to ‘change the word out there’ I would have missed first my personal point of self-responsibility: changing myself, first supporting myself.

So I do say here that happiness as a word to live by does imply first self-responsibility: taking care of ourselves, ensuring one has sufficient money to live in dignity, where one has the ability and continues to improve one’s life, to challenge ourselves further, to develop ourselves to our utmost potential, to live by the law of placing the extra effort to get things done in a way wherein I can genuinely say ‘this is my creation, this is my expression and I am satisfied with it.’ Within this of course comes the consideration of how within me living by these principles, what I do in the ‘outside world’ will thus be the constant and continuous expression of what I live within and as me – this is thus how I have defined my ability to live happiness within giving myself, my life, my day to day a purpose which is to make of this world a place wherein we call all live actually happily, so that happiness stops being a ‘desire’ in our minds, but instead becomes a genuine and feasible practical method, a way and series of actions and steps that involve each one’s participation to co-create such happiness in reality.

This is how I see that in order to create and live happiness = the whole must be contained, everyone must be considered, because if we leave one person outside of this consideration, then that one point will make us all miserable again, because this life is about learning how to coexist as equals and so within this, I see that happiness in its FULL expression is not yet ‘here’ as the definition of all living parts in this world having a dignified and satisfying existence.  I see that happiness is a ‘work in progress’ when it comes to genuinely Living it at a global level – however, it is possible to work on creating a general stability and support for oneself to live in a responsible manner, which I’ve found to be actually a great source of satisfaction and fulfillment.

In fact, living this process of self-support with the Desteni tools is an awesome practical way to create and build this happiness for oneself, it won’t definitely make you all tingly within yourself, nor would it come with ease either, it does take actual work, dedication, discipline, consistency, self-will, determination, self-leadership and creativity to do this, but these are all aspects that are definitely worth investing one’s life and time on. Having said this, it does make sense to say that aiming to be ‘happy’ within this context and consideration, to create happiness for everyone in this world is a cool thing to aim at, because it will enable us all to create a general well-being wherein we can actively and continuously create and make of this world a system of support, of living-life instead of merely surviving or having to strive to ‘make a living,’ where our relationships become necessary pillars for us to thrive instead of obstacles to achieve personal gain and self-interest.

If happiness is a common goal in each one’s life, it’s best to then recognize it as something that can only genuinely exist if we all first place the consideration of creating this happiness, this stability, this self-support, self-care, and self-honesty within each one of us individually, so that then we become a +1 person that becomes a pillar to build this happiness in the world, no matter where you are: our lives, how we live/what we do in each moment, how we walk our day to day defines what we create collectively. So, it’s about time we stop seeking for happiness ‘out there’ and instead focus on creating it within and without.

What I can share as the practical way to do this is by walking this process of self-support, I hadn’t ever been satisfied with my life or even would dare to call myself as ‘being happy’ because I was a Grinch, so unhappy about life /the world and blaming everything and everyone for why my life wasn’t ‘working,’ instead of realizing that I do not have to ‘seek happiness’ out there, I have to actually recognize my ability to create it, to become it and to establish it/share it with others in this world. Sounds nice, yep, but it takes actual work and dedication to genuinely live it, it takes guts to also be able to let go of previous definitions of ‘happiness’ by testing it out, seeing if what one had defined as happiness is really a constant and continuous point I can live within my life that is Best for All for eternity – and there, first steps of self-honesty will emerge.

It’s surely enjoyable to take the wheel of your life, and this is precisely what we learn to do in this process, so I recommend it 100% percent.

 


I commit myself to any time and all time required to bring this world back to that which is life, regardless of what it will take and I commit myself not to allow the values the mind  as me have become to determine what is real value. Until this is done. – Bernard Poolman 

 

Living Principles

 

Suggested blog:

Day 2: Happiness and Me

 

I dare you to start questioning what happiness is for you and if you’re ready to live genuine happiness, join us here:

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


421. Art is in the Eye of the Beholder

 

I took this great blog title from Leila Zamora Moreno who gave it as a name for her son’s Cesar first masterpiece which I am going to share here because it’s his first year alive on Earth today!

We got a Pollock coming, people!

Cesar's Masterpiece 1 Year

 

So, I watched a documentary on Marina Abramovic’s work called Marina Abramović: The Artist is Present and noticed how through watching it, I was constantly seeking for some kind of ‘meaningful’ thing to come through, something that could match my idea of ‘art.’ Through writing the self forgiveness I’m about to share, I realize that I had become this constant judge toward anything I’ve defined as ‘art’ and within doing so measuring/gauging it and see if it does match my idea of art as something that can ‘change the world’ and if not, usually I would follow through to judge it as pointless, useless, a waste of time, etc. In fact I had written out a blog about the documentary, but obviously noticed it was filled with righteous comments so as to impose ‘my perspective’ which then of course was a cool thing to do or else I would have remained within the idea/belief that ‘I was right in my assessment’ lol.

I also reacted when seeing people organizing performances and/or artistic creations around an ongoing situation here in Mexico about students having been disappeared/most likely killed due to a political point of convenience for a governor in one state here and then judging this as ‘pointless’ and ‘meaningless’ and then rehashing the judgment of ‘how come I can despise this ‘art world’ so much now and I once was so eager to be a part of it, where was I?’ – so here I go straight to Self Forgiveness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say to myself, how was I ever involved in this art/cultural realm and come to despise it so much at the same time? Which is only showing the usual love-hate relationship wherein of course any ‘negative’ experience is in fact denoting I still hold a relationship toward art, and as such, it’s all about ME in fact and not at all about art/artists or the art world at all – this is then the point of self-responsibility to expand upon here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience remorse and embarrassment for having ever aimed at achieving an artistic career as I followed my desire to experience something ‘special’ through art and aim at ‘changing the world’ with it, which simply means that I was entirely driven by my own emotional and feeling experience and that this clouded my ability to see reality for what it is and genuinely question whether a ‘work of art’ has in fact ever changed people’s lives to the extent that I thought it would.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art as something frivolous or useless, wherein by defining it in such way I am then creating a negative relationship to it, but still a relationship nonetheless, so this is about me taking responsibility to ensure I no longer impose any ideas, beliefs, perceptions and reactions toward ‘art’ itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create yet again an experience of disdain toward people that are using art as a way to demonstrate the corruption and deaths of people here in Mexico, wherein now artists are gathering to create portraits of students that have been – most likely – sent to be killed by a high authority in one of the states here in Mexico, and so reacting with the experience of ‘this is utter bullshit’ and so having the desire to just curse at the people that believe that in any way doing a portrait or performance of and for the people that have disappeared will change their family’s grief or would in any way ‘solve the problem.’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ‘disdain’ is simply a tantrum like experience that comes after one had created certain ideals and expectations upon something, which is why one has such a ‘stance’ toward – in this case – art, instead of realizing that ‘art’ in itself in this case is not aiming at creating a tangible, physical solution, but simply a remembrance that some people might find supportive and that’s up to each person and how they react/interact with such artistic expressions – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hypercritical to anything that has to do with art and aiming at bashing it constantly or whenever I can, which only demonstrates my own judgments and ‘false expectations’ created and imposed toward art, wherein I was trying to make of art an actual ‘tool to change the world’ but I realize that ‘art’ in itself as a manifestation and expression cannot do that at all – self change is and will always be here as ourselves, it is about who we are in our mind and in our actions, which in turn will define our creations as well.

 

I realize that in this, of course I’m missing out the actual self-forgiveness that extends beyond ‘myself’ only but as a human being that has lived in a world where pictures, emotions, experiences are the actual ‘drivers’ and/or ‘fuel’ of our reality, wherein the society of spectacle also involves creating this kind of ‘motives’ and ‘remembrances’ using art as a way to ‘heal the wounds’ or else, without realizing that in essence, art only works at a mind level and as such, it creates no solution to real-reality problems and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art for not being what I expected it to be, instead of realizing that it’s only me that tried to make it’ more’ than what it in fact is – in this

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly try and fit ‘art’ into the category of a human creation that will in some way ‘change the world’ or ‘change people’s consciousness’ wherein in my desire to ‘fit’ art into this ideal, I’ve actually created such an unnecessary conflict within me, because I see that it is just impossible to do so, because nothing, no object, no image can ‘change you’ but only oneself in actually understanding why changing is necessary and how one can practically do it – in this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get so infatuated with the idea of ‘change’ being able to exist within art, which you know in terms of the large scope of what art is, this idea of ‘change’ is already a limitation, a definition that is coming strictly from who I am and what I am walking in my life, which is very much aligned with ‘changing myself ‘ – thus, I have to stop trying to fit the world, fit people’s idea of art into my own.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be gullible and somewhat stubborn in trying to fit ‘my idea’ of art into everyone else’s artistic creation, which then of course leads me to only criticize, judge it, see it as ‘not good enough’ or ‘pointless’ or plain ‘bullshit’ without realizing that I’m judging it from my own point of view that aimed to make of art ‘something life changing and revolutionary.’ Therefore, I realize that I have to STOP trying to impose my own ideas of what art was supposed to be as a catalyst or a way to change people’s minds/lives and instead of trying to measure ‘all art’ against my own idea/belief and perception of what ‘art should be, I have to rather use all judgments as a way to continue checking what exists within me as an expectative or assumption around art, as this is then how I can use art or anything else as a mirror to continue seeing where I am creating experiences and separation from what is here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out the love and hate relationship toward art, which only signifies one thing: there are still remnants of self-definition within me according to ‘being an artist’ or wanting to stick to that profession as ‘what I studied’ or ‘who I was,’ because in a way I still wanted to try and ‘save the profession’ as ‘my choice’ and having done so in absolute clarity and conviction within myself; and so this was my attempt of trying to justify my decision thinking that I wasn’t so ‘out there’ or detached from reality when I chose to study this – but, at the moment I can see that I was in fact not really ‘grounded’ on Earth 10 years ago when I made such decision and that somehow I am still beating myself for it, which is not necessary – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having chosen what I now judge as some self-conceited and self-importance and absolutely self-indulgent profession as ‘art’ which in this is in fact only judging and ‘dissing’ that which didn’t ‘turn out to be what I expected’ and so, I realize that I have gone back and forth within this experience in the past of the ‘love and hate relationship toward art,’ but the problem is that I still tried to ‘suit my idea’ of what art should be in everything that I continue to see/watch and consume as ‘art,’ instead of realizing that I have to absolutely let go of the idea that I once held about art, let go unconditionally of my past choices in life, of my past ‘mindset’ and as such, stop any judgments around this point within me.

I commit myself to see art for what it is: a series of visual or experiential-based objects or images or actions wherein one is challenged to see reality with another pair of eyes and get to see reality from each person’s mindframe and perspective – thus to take it ‘for what it is’ as an individual or collective expression, instead of continually trying to see ‘where or how is this in any way changing the world?’ which is My idea of what art should be and the reason why this conflict still would emerge within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘the past me’ as vain and superfluous for having chosen such a career and now in one way or another wanting to throw shit at it, which is not really acceptable at all, because art as any other action and creation that we do in this world, is part of what we also have to take responsibility for. Thus my way to contribute to it, is not to ‘bash’ something because it did not ‘fulfill’ my expectations upon it, but rather take the words that I had once associated with art / being an artist and live them myself in the way that I see is supportive and best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having said this morning ‘where the hell was I when I decided to study art?’ and say so with a sense of regret and disdain toward me and so toward everything and everyone involved in such practice, instead of realizing that if I did this same kind of reproachment for everything else that I see we have done ‘wrong’ in our lives, I would live in constant reproachment which is obviously not necessary at all as in that, we only trap ourselves in guilt and remorse, instead of focusing on what is required to be changed HERE.  

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what’s hiding behind this is me not wanting to admit that it was my own starting point toward art that defined my now judgment toward ‘art’ which is not about ‘art’ but about me and how I was in fact living and acting in a self-absorbed manner and was seeking for the kind of things like fame, fortune, all the money and the ‘good life’ as well as bashing the system while earning good money, lol – so I realize that I have to simply admit to myself the kind of decisions that I made in the past, the reasons behind it and that there is no way that I can ‘turn back time and change my decisions and career choice’ because I do realize that the decisions I made in my past were absolutely ‘congruent’ to my mind-frame, my interests, my aspirations in the past and within this, I have to absolutely let go of me trying to ‘make sense’ of my initial ambitions and desires in life so as to justify them, and try and see them with a ‘good light’ so to speak, which is not really necessary to now super impose some ‘goodness’ to it, because that would simply imply that I am still judging my past life and decisions as something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘self-interested,’ which is not really necessary once that I realize I have simply moved on from that phase in my life and my interests and aim in life have veered substantially from how I used to think 10 years ago, which I am of course grateful to myself for as well and for all the past moments that led to this realization.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my dissatisfaction with my past choices upon every other artwork or artist I see and get to know of by judging their work and activity in all possible ways wherein I diminish it to being ‘pointless’ and ‘useless’ and taking this as a ‘fact,’ without realizing that all of these were only self-judgments that I have created around ‘art’ based on my own judgments toward myself and my past.

Therefore I commit myself to stop wanting to impose my idea of what ‘art should be’ upon others’ creations and simply redefine the word for myself to live as the actual creator of my life within the principles that I have established for myself of self-responsibility, self-introspection, self-forgiveness and self-correction as I see that this is what I have realized is the genuine way to do what I always aimed doing through art, which is changing myself and so with that, changing the world – therefore I hereby let go of the desire to ‘change the world’ through art  or attempt to make of art that ‘one point that changes the world’ which is also not ‘the point’ here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a human being desire to do something ‘more than myself’ through objects, experiences, artifacts outside of myself and now judging art for what I believe or assume ‘artists’ are aiming to do, which is another judgment coming from what I used to do with art itself, instead of realizing that art can be used as a bridge for self-investigation, yet it is not ‘the change’ in itself at a massive level that I wished it to be at some point, as I realize that self-change and self-realization cannot in any way be something done through only one action, one object, one image and have an effect ‘en masse’ – there are no magic tricks on this.

 

I commit myself to stop judging art, artists, art collectors, art supporters and everyone that enjoys art and instead see ‘art’ within the realm of any other human activity that we do at the moment which means that everything we are and do is yet to be walked through a process of self-realization and self-correction, which means there cannot be something that is genuinely ‘supportive’ if there is no foundation to understand such support or what would be supportive to ‘change oneself’ or ‘change the world’  – thus I am the one that has to stop seeing art through the eyes of ‘practical change’ and/or ‘practical relevance for self-change’ wherein I then create a righteousness to create ‘negative’ judgments toward it, which is once again falling in the judgmental trap that leads nowhere and in fact then I would support the continuation of separation, reactions, judgments and division in the world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that because I studied art, I have ‘an authority’ to bash it which is really only playing the same critique conundrum that I have also criticized in the past, instead of seeing art or anything else as just expressions that each one of us will have to take self-responsibility for, for the intent, the purpose and the experience within which it was created – thus, I am no one to judge anyone or anything for what it is, I can only reflect myself upon the world and thus take responsibility for my judgments, my experiences, my expressions ‘toward others’ and always realize it has nothing to do with art per se, with artists or with the artworks themselves, but with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still have wanted to control ‘my vision’ about art and so be able to ‘measure all other art’ according to what I had defined as ‘art,’ not realizing that this definition of ‘art’ is not even certain for people in art creation themselves. So, this is once again a point to show how when trying to ‘fit in’ one’s definition upon something/someone, because  each definition is created in one’s mind, it will always be a source of conflict to try and define something that in its nature is not meant to even be ‘defined’ as such, thus I see that my point of control was coming also from self-interest and still wanting to somehow remain with the dignity of having studied something ‘meaningful’ or ‘more than’ any other career, which would then lead me to play a value game that is once again of the mind and of consciousness definitions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still go and see art in the hope that I will find something that is ‘life changing’ which is why every time I obviously come out without ‘anything’ or ‘nothing learned’ because I am seeing it all through the eyes of ‘come on, art exhibit, change me, change my life!’ which is impossible of course, it would be like thinking that praying to the image of a god or a saint will change your life, which is simply a delusion.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having ever been fascinated with creations because I have now judged this as ‘vain’ instead of realizing that just as anything that we create in this world, we can appreciate it for what it is in its physicality and no longer having the ‘artistic value-frame’ with which I was trying to measure it against, as this is once again trying to control and impose my own perspectives and experiences toward ‘art’ itself upon others’ creations. It would be like trying to define which human being is more ‘beautiful’ than another or which tree is ‘more expressive’ than another – it is really pointless and a waste of breaths to be dwelling upon this kind of questions, because ultimately if there’s something in art is that precisely this whole ‘valuation’ scheme is meant to be broken or questioned at least.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged this point as ‘petty’ or ‘non important’ or there being more ‘relevant things to blog about’ but, I realize that due to the actual judgmental view that emerged within me while watching Marina Abramović’s documentary and when getting to know of artists gathering to create something around people that have disappeared through political reasons, it was then a point to of course review and open up within myself so that I can align this one point within me and my day to day living and so stop the judgmental me toward art or artists as a constant source of conflict.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have some ‘right’ to judge something because of having ‘studied’ it, which is essentially a belief learned from how our system operates with licenses and such, without realizing that a judgment will always be a judgment specifically when it’s made in an attempt to debase or ‘debunk’ something as to ‘make it less’ in a way, wherein then my judgment becomes in my mind something ‘superior’ to point out.

 

In this the application is actually to ensure that I can investigate all things and keep what’s best, instead of investigating all things, judge and criticize with an attempt to ‘debase’ something and then place my judgment as ‘superior’ which is obviously a destructive and consequential way of looking at things.

I realize that I can use anything and anyone in my world as a mirror, and in this, whichever I may think, believe and perceive relates to ‘another’ is in fact about myself, because I can only think/judge something about someone  if I have judged myself in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was in fact desiring to ‘take a position’ or ‘take a side’ in relation to art because of the self-definition I have created within and towards ‘art’ which is how one then creates a sense of ‘righteousness’ as in having ‘one stance’ in relation to it, which is all knowledge and information based, it is not at all considering what is common sensical or looking at what’s supportive within something – but instead, immediately putting on the ‘judgmental glasses’ and ‘finding fault’ eyes going into ‘attack’ mode to point out all the ‘flaws’ but all of these flaws are pointed out within the starting point of me already seeking to ‘debunk’ another, which is quite the usual nasty game that we play when we want to impose our own mind/righteousness, what we believe is ‘right’ above others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question the ‘impulse’ that I sometimes have in relation to wanting to talk about something/someone in an attempt to ‘debunk’ them while still holding a judgment with experience in it as to ‘prove it wrong’ – instead of realizing that I can talk about something/someone without having to resort to taking an antagonist stance toward it, but simply be able to reference it, to look at it in common sense and then  focus on reflecting any judgment back to myself, that’s the only way one can really develop self-honesty, and stop only criticizing things for the sake of feeling ‘righteous’ about something or someone and so justify my experience toward something or someone, in this case, my ‘experience’ toward art which shouldn’t exist at all as an experience.

In this it is to realize that any experience that I have toward something/someone, it indicates I have created a relationship to it, and so it becomes a point for me to take self-responsibility for which means: it’s never about ‘art’ itself, it’s about how I see it, who I am toward it and this is then a much more supportive starting point to look at art and visit art galleries, to see ‘what comes up within me,’ instead of visiting and looking at art from the starting point of ‘proving it wrong’ or wanting it to ‘match my ideal’ of art, which is why all this back and forth friction toward it emerged: it’s all an inside job.

 

I realize that ourselves as human beings tend to seek for answers or ‘find ourselves’ ‘out there’ instead of realizing that everything we require is already here, as ourselves. So in this, I commit myself to stop judging anything that we do/use in order to get to this point of self-realization, wherein I see that art can be used as a tool of self-reflection as with anything else in the world and what we create and do within it. This is where I then have to realize that my process and realizations cannot be the same as others’ and so, I have no authority to judge others’ processes, ideas, beliefs and perceptions – this process is about self-responsibility so here I then commit myself to always see art as a cool point of self-reflection wherein I stop all judgments ‘toward’ art or artists themselves, but rather see ‘who am I’ toward it and use that for my own process of self-honesty.

 

I commit myself to integrate the realization that everything that I judge or criticize in a judgmental manner is and only has to do with myself and the relationships I have created toward something/someone in my past, and so I can only look at things/people objectively where I can first identify if there is any reaction, take it back to self wherein I see the origin of such judgment toward it, do a self-reflective analysis on it in order to support me in common sense to immediately realize: I am imposing my past definitions upon this moment here –  and so I then focus on seeing, watching, reading and participating in anything related to art for what it is – no hidden agendas allowed within me.

 

For a review on the documentary:

 

What life can be

 

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


419. Devaluation of Self

It’s fascinating that when we operate in terms of ‘values’ and we value people according to who we perceive them to be – as their amount of studies, knowledge and information and generally known success in life, we sometimes create the notion of ‘famous people’ or people that could be generally perceived as ‘more important than’ or ‘superior’ to others that we have defined as ‘plain mortals’ so to speak. I noticed that this exists within me in the form of considering that some people who I would like to invite for discussions could be ‘too famous’ to actually want to be in a live discussion with me/us.

 

Louis Vuitton Morton

 

This came up as I was sharing with others about a particular person I would like to invite to a live online discussion and even if I know I am directing myself to propose it and actually eventually create it, I noticed a sharp pain on my right leg, quite on the surface but unusual though so I got to know from the person I was talking to how this relates to one’s foundation of support, and from some older notes, the flow of expression. So what came behind the proposal to interview this individual were also aspects of self-doubt in relation to how I have valued/perceived the person to be. So I realized how I tend to create these limitations based on how I have ‘valued’ a person according to their ‘accrued interest’ on knowledge and information and so how I see myself considering it would be ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unbelievable’ or ‘out of reach’ or ‘requiring something more than what I got’ to be able to actually approach another individual to discuss topics that we for sure have in common to discuss.  But then again, how/what has in fact placed such limitation? Myself based on the perception of these individuals being already interviewed by other media and ‘professional anchors’ so in this, I actually create my own limitation because I then look at the person not for the actual purpose of having a chat with them would be, which is a point that benefits everyone in fact, but I then first pull out a point of doubt of whether ‘we are up to the height’ required for it.

So in this particular practical considerations are required. For sure it would imply that I for example, have to ensure I read up to and continue educating myself to get more background on the person and their work so that I can have that same foundation for such conversation, that’s just practical stuff that I do anyways – so what changed? Well, the idea of ‘who’ the person is, so here we go!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider person x as ‘way too unreachable for a chat’ considering that I have placed this person as an ‘important individual’ in their spheres of influence and within that ultimately believing that ‘they would not care/agree to have a chat with us’ without realizing that in this, I am in fact giving up or already going into defeat before even trying, so WTF?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I would require something ‘more’ in order to be able to invite someone for a chat, such as greater production or more publicity or else, without realizing that what I/we do is what is possible at the moment and using the means that we have at our reach and as such the simplicity of it and the use of cost-less resources does not diminish the quality of the production as the conversation in itself – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition in the belief that this individual will only accept an interview if it comes from some major media outlet, without realizing that in this I am already giving up to even actually going for it and making an invitation to the person – within this, my approach has to be equal and one as with every other person I invite and so,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inferiority toward an individual that I consider ‘unreachable’ or ‘too famous’ or ‘too prestigious’ to be part of a conversation with me/us online – in this I realize that through this perception of the person being ‘more than’ I created my own limitation toward them and so creating an experience of uncertainty of myself in relation to how that conversation would develop – without realizing that this is all only my own mind patterns and experiences that I have created throughout time toward particular people that I have considered as ‘famous’ and ‘well known’ to be ‘out of reach’ people and me considering having a discussion with them something extravagant, meaning going ‘out of reason’ of what I would consider would be ‘suitable’ for me, which is all existent as a scheme of values that I’ve placed toward myself and others, which is unacceptable as the starting point of the whole thing is actually to promote and create a more equal society.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a tinge of fear of having a discussion with someone that I had previously somewhat antagonized and in this, I realized that my previous stance toward basically everyone that did not agree with how I saw solutions should be was that of rather continuous criticism, which obviously will lead us nowhere and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear that my previous criticism and mockery toward the movement that this person stands for comes back to me in the form of the person rejecting my invitation for a live discussion – in this I realize that the actual fear is that the person could use what I previously said against me and against this renewed effort to rather work together. I realize that in this I have to first forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to criticize an individual’s work and overall movement as a non-working solution, without realizing that yes we all make mistakes and what I have learned throughout these years is precisely to not create enemies, but rather be able to find a common ground and that’s my current stance. Therefore I hereby declare that I have forgiven myself for having created antagonism toward other individuals that didn’t ‘suit’ my perceptions and ideas and plans for what I define as ‘real change,’ and now that we are coming to a common ground, it seems possible that we can in fact then advocate for the same principle, which is cool and in this ultimately it’s about me being clear on where I stand in relation to this individual and the movement he stands for itself, wherein I am willing to accept my past perceptions and mistakes and so be willing to obviously start anew as this is what we all require to do in the world: to forgive ourselves for our assumptions and judgments made toward ourselves and others in order to start from scratch and building relationships that go beyond ego or ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong,’ but rather get to work together as equals.

Ultimately in all of this, I realize how my own perceptions, beliefs and past ‘trespasses’ could create a limitation in expanding toward working and contacting people that I consider are now aligning more and more with the solutions we also advocate – and so it is absolutely necessary to stop ourselves as ego from becoming an obstacle in the development that we can in fact carry out for the betterment not only of ‘ourselves’ as individuals, but for the causes that we actually stand for – this means: principle must always override any ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose a sense of ‘not being up to the height’ of another and believing that ‘the person would not want to discuss with me’ because of me not having a particular ‘popular’ stance or reputation or believing that I would require to have some sense of ‘official recognition’ in order to be able to invite certain individuals, as if there was like this ‘scale of values’ that one would have to gather in order to do so. I realize that this limitation is absolutely something built over my own perceptions toward people based on their knowledge, their information, their careers and professions, their relationships, their leadership positions and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more weight to knowledge, information, careers, relationships with what I have defined as ‘important people’ and within this create a limitation of ‘who I would be capable and able to establish a conversation with’ based on who I perceive them to be or what I would perceive they would think if a ‘regular person’ like me asks them for an interview.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use terms like ‘being a regular person’ or a ‘mortal’ meaning a person that has no ‘laureate’ from the system or that has a specific recognition or validation at system level in relation to the topics I want to discuss, wherein I then create the usual trap of ‘not being qualified’ at the eyes of others, which is part of the problem we have co-created in our society wherein we believe that one is only ‘capable’ if you are given a ‘license’ as a permission and validation that you in fact ‘know’ about something, all part of the same system of credentials and values that exist and that yes, are required at the moment in the system – but this does not diminish someone’s ability and capacity to do the same or even more than what a person with a license has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others would only accept or consider me to be reliable if I had some sort of recognition ‘out in the system’ so that a person then would not reject an interview with me – and within this I forgive myself that I have actually accepted and allowed myself to assume what a person would ‘expect of me’ or the kind of ‘licenses’ they would expect me to have or the amount of knowledge that ‘they would want me to have’ in order to have a conversation with them, which is all, once again, speculation and ideas based on how I have seen for example the academic world operates in hierarchical levels wherein for example teachers and their apprentices are seen as ‘more than’ any other individual in the same institution.

This actually comes from my own experiences of imposing a superior value to people in academia in fact, people that I have considered as ‘too way up in the academic world’ and that I’ve perceived that everyone reveres to them, and that they are ‘not up for just any regular chat’ which I then realized it was false once that I got to know ‘important people’ that one would see on TV or in high academic circles and at the same time seeing them in their regular life just like any other ‘mortal’ therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having carried this idea of some people being ‘holier than thou’ based on my perception of the person being ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ or having some kind of ‘important academic position’ or being ‘an artist’ or else, who are all the individuals that I placed as ‘more than myself’ including politicians of course and probably kings just because of the whole propaganda and brainwashing that is created based on the amount of ‘importance’ we believe we must give certain individuals and ‘feel’ different toward them as well, instead of realizing we are in fact equals and no amount of knowledge and information should make anyone ‘holier’ than another as it’s all based on mind values, on knowledge and information and yes, we are ultimately all made of flesh and bones and are all mortals in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever learn from my family how to behave with ‘well known individuals’ and politics and people that I have considered as ‘rich’ and ‘very important people’ – apparently – that I kind of learned that I should revere in a way, and act even more service-like which is absolutely – excuse the word – fucked up. I realize that this comes from me witnessing how my family would revere to politicians whenever they would come to parties and kind of even change their stance to appear more service-like and ‘affable’ and ‘giving them the keys to their house’ so to speak, as if these individuals were ‘more’ than any other guest in the house. This comes of course from the imposition of value/power/authority and even ‘fame’ and recognition to particular individuals based on the position that they have in society for example – therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should get even ‘nervous’ or up to the expectation of having someone ‘popular’ or ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ talking with me because of imposing the same experiences that I got from witnessing my family and how they would behave with ‘important people’ like artists or politicians and within this, copy the exact same experience that I would perceive others would have around these people, which was that of excitement, nervousness and wanting everything to be ‘top notch’ FOR THEM, which is the whole ‘service-like’ attitude that I learned one ‘should have’ when dealing with someone that is considered famous, more important or – god, dare I say – more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still see a person that is ‘well known’ through the eyes of knowledge and information, through the eyes of the mind wherein I see a person based on the amount of recognition, fame, perceived authority based on the position they occupy or else and within this forget about equality because I still place this veil of ‘importance’ over others, which is of course unacceptable as I realize that we are all in fact one and equal and that we have in fact consolidated and continued to accept the current status quo based on this mind-hierarchy that we act out almost ‘by default’ toward perceived important/famous people, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see some of those ‘famous individuals’ as ‘more than myself’ and this comes from the time when I would approach any artist for example and request their autograph as a child and how excited I would get from these experiences, because I learned that people that were on TV then ‘were more famous than’ anyone else therefore associating value with ‘being on TV’ or any other ‘well known position,’ which implies immediately placing myself as ‘not up to that height’ so to speak – but really, all of these ideas of importance, height, prestige, fame, recognition are all values that I have associated with a ‘superiority’ instead of realizing that they are in fact words that denote the actual work and life experience as well as trajectory that an individual or group of individuals have crated throughout their life to get to certain positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive and superiority value to the word ‘prestige’ wherein the fact that someone can be well known, respected and has achieved quite a lot in their life becomes an ‘added value’ in my perception and thus placing myself as ‘less than’ them based on such achievements, which I realize is a point of self-separation when one identifies oneself or another based on the amount of knowledge and information they have or ‘how’ other individuals perceive them, which is all seen through the mind’s eye.

 

Instead prestige is simply recognizing the well-known work and recognition of an individual’s life experience and contributions wherein their work  and their deeds speak by themselves and as such widespread recognition and respect is an outflow of their life, their work and contributions being supportive for others as well, which is definitely what we should all direct ourselves to aim at being and becoming in our lives, to leave our lifetime of supporting to create a world that is best for all, and so live self-respect, which means that someone’s work and recognition becomes their own life and what they say/do and act on, which is nothing more or nothing less than life, it is simply an example that we can learn from and so also see as the potential that exists within each one of us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘fame’ with an experience of superiority and ‘more than’ others comparison, instead of realizing that fame as being known or being excellent in something is not an ‘added value’ to another individual, but simply what they have achieved through their own direction and creation – whether it is for ‘good fame’ or ‘bad fame’ it is simply the general perception of ‘who another is’ based on their words and actions. Therefore, there is no need to add an experience to fame or who am I toward perceived ‘famous people’ because it is simply recognizing another’s life, trajectory, expertise and/or mastering in certain fields as yet another example of what we can do and become if we are equally diligent in the work and dedication to achieve something, which is a general trait that ‘famous people’ get to do, whether it is for constructive or destructive outcomes.

Of course the way to live fame a constructive type of fame is to become well known by one’s living example of being a solution to the world instead of a destructive role model for sure, so in that our own perceived ‘values’ over one another would have to veer toward valuing as in recognizing another individual as an example of our own potential based on how one lives by principles that recognize our equality and that consider at all times what is best for all.

Therefore, it is not to see these words of prestige, fame, recognition as a synonym of ‘superiority’ at all, but rather seeing them as the result and consolidation of their names as public figures based on the actual work they do, based on how they have contributed to the common good, which is ultimately someone that I can definitely say is respectable and for sure someone that should be recognized by all people for what they’ve done/ achieved in their lifetime. This is then the physical living and work talking for itself, which doesn’t make the person ‘more’ than another either, but simply realizing that yes they have done the actual work, they have done the actual walking of a particular point that took them to be in a certain position that they are in the world system.

 

 

 

It is interesting how even culturally we learn how to create a particular excitement or even fear when being around a particular ‘famous person,’ as if they were in fact having this ‘divine aura’ around them which doesn’t make sense as they are just humans too. Sure, one can have a particular fondness toward another individual but ultimately any person that does believe that they are ‘superior’ to others based on their fame, their work, their knowledge and information, their lifetime experience is in fact then acting from ego, and as such it is for sure their point to ultimately realize. But here, my point of self-responsibility is to ensure that I am not the one that is coming from/approaching another based on these value-systems that have led us to continue stratifying our society – this is unacceptable.

So, the corrective process is that when and as I see myself going into any slight refraction of a doubt when it comes to my ability and capability of approaching a person that I have defined as ‘important’ or ‘well known’ I make sure I identify what is it exactly that is creating the shift so that I can see what fear or what expectation came up that created such experience, and so I bring myself to the awareness that we are all human beings and there is no one ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ and so I should not place my mind’s eye as the ones to decide ‘who I am’ toward another or jumping into conclusions of ‘what the other people would ask of me’ but rather ensure that my decision to approach another is based on first of all, equality, support and the openness to dialogue and work together within the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I have to ensure that I do not use my past and my past experiences as a limitation toward approaching people or my fears/excitements or general ideas of ‘superior people’ as a veil for me to not act in common sense which means: being my own foundation and structure to give myself direction to do something based on the assessment of my ability and capability to do so.

In this, ‘who’ the other person is becomes irrelevant which means, my perception upon them is not to be used as a determining factor for it – this is about me assessing the benefit of such conversation, the potential supportive outcome of it that is best for all parts. Within this, is also necessary and quite valid to make a personal assessment of where I would require to sharpen up my studies and my review of information in order to be ‘up to date’ with what we could discuss in a conversation, but this does not mean that it’s also going to be some kind of ‘duel’ of knowledge and information either, because the starting point of this is precisely to share what each person gets to know of, understand and/or create as solutions that we can all share and learn from. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would have to be at certain level of ‘knowledge and info’ to be ‘ready’ to talk with another, which in a way it does make sense to be prepared but not to the level of ‘wanting to know it all’ already, otherwise, what would be the point of having a conversation with another if not to learn more from each other and so strengthen ourselves equally.

 

I realize that this is also the influence of the current debate programs and interview TV shows wherein some of the interviewers challenge the person they interview sometimes to the point of ‘who knows more’ or ‘who can win’ which is the whole ‘debating’ aspect that is actually detrimental to the public watching because we then recreate the notion that someone has to be absolutely right and others absolutely wrong or dismissed – instead of realizing that a conversation with people that I have not so much previous contact with should be about having them share their perspectives, learn and take what’s best as well as learn how to listen to the points that I might not agree with, however by creating an antagonism only on that we create further rifts and problems where the actual common ground can be dismissed, which is not cool, not acceptable in a world wherein it’s easier to wage wars than creating dialogues to establish ‘peace’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive people that have written out books or published an exorbitant amount of words as ‘more than myself’ and within this, realizing that if the starting point is placing ‘who am I’ as an individual against another individual, ego will always create a barrier and prevent me from actually expanding and rather learning from others. In this thus, I realize that I have to ensure that my own limitations carried from the past ‘learned inferiority’ toward certain individuals doesn’t become an obstacle to me actually stretching out hands and creating contact with people that I had regarded as ‘more’ than myself, and to always realize that whenever I see anyone as ‘more than myself’ I become the very continuation of the problem I am  trying to resolve which is inequality, which is the continuation of hierarchical values and the notion of ‘power’ and superiority embedded onto something/someone above ‘the rest.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up at ‘first try’ after contacting certain individuals, without realizing that my approach was still coming from this already ‘made up expectation’ of ‘they won’t accept/ they won’t even reply’ or else, which is then what happened and then became a form of ‘defeatism’ in terms of trying to approach certain individuals.

In this thus my sole responsibility is to ensure that I realize that it’s not ‘me’ that is asking for that interview, it’s about me as the principle and foundation I stand for and as with the purpose of learning from others, of sharing supportive outcomes for humanity that is asking for such interview – therefore I do not have to place myself as ‘my persona’ before me when doing my job which is to establish connections and communication with people no matter ‘who’ it is.

In this, I realize this is the point to apply, a practical equality toward people and stopping my mind’s view upon others based on ‘who’ I perceive they are, and instead I commit myself to focus on their words, their work, their visible and practical solutions and contributions to society, which is what I am interested as a person that represents an organization that stands for the principle of what is best for all life.  In this I have to also recognize myself and to not ‘devalue’ me based on the perceived ‘validations’ I would require to ‘make me/my words/what I stand for’ as ‘valid’ or ‘recognizable’ in the world system, as I realize that there is currently no such ‘validation’ and due importance given to the consideration and realization of life in equality, of supporting one another, of truly working together for best for all outcomes and so , how can I expect me/us to have such ‘recognition’ in a world that recognizes and places fame on the exact opposite?

There’s no visible honoring toward life yet so we have to build it from scratch so I commit myself to stop expecting some form of ‘validation’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘credits’ in order to give further steps of expansion within myself and my process of communicating with others – and instead rather recognize that it is our own work, our own consistency and dedication that which makes us valuable as the principles that we stand and live by – ultimately that’s just the value of life for life and that’s rather what I decide to dedicate myself to honor, to honor life not world-system credentials and ‘values’ placed in separation of who we really are as equals, which is also what’s worth while supporting and sharing with others.

 

I commit myself to imposing money-talk to others too wherein I value others based on ideas related to energy and money, which is not who we really are and so I rather develop a communication based on living principles where equality stands as our undeniable common ground to work on.

 

All Life Is Equal

 

Read people recognizing Life in Equality in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

 


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