Category Archives: self-leadership

644. Strengthening Confidence

 

 It’s been some interesting and very active past 2 months, time seems to go flying to me and it seems that the more that I have expanded my view on how to get things done in relation to ‘having a baby’ and more specifically on ‘delivering’ a baby, a lot more has kind of opened up within me to ‘integrate’ the realization of soon having a new little person in our lives that we have to completely and absolutely take care of, and embracing that fact by preparing myself the best that I can for it. This is a practical way to create confidence within myself which is a word I’ll be writing quite a bit about today, considering I’ve made two words to live by the focus of my current living time which are: confidence and strength.

I have previously written about and understood confidence to be the result of doing something many times, practicing something a lot to the point where you feel at ease, comfortable in doing it, trusting yourself that ‘you can’ because you have done it so many times. However, when it comes to something that will be a ‘once off’ situation like in this case having a baby – and yes no matter how many one may have, each time will be surely different and unique – one cannot really ‘practice’ that process to the point of getting comfortable with it. One can play a simulation, get some exercises and movements integrated at a physical level to become more aware of the body parts involved, become more aware of breathing, understanding the ‘theory’ behind the birthing process, strengthening the body to the point where one can withstand such a demanding and strenuous process – or so I’ve been told/heard/read it is – but that’s as far as one can go.

In this case, there’s that complete aspect of ‘stepping into the unknown’ and something unlike anything I have felt or gone through before, the complete newness of it surely brings uncertainties, doubts, fears and the usual thing that emerges with anything new are – most likely – all the ‘worst things that could happen’ and I will say that, to a certain extent it is OK to be informed in all things that ‘could go wrong,’ but knowing is not the problem: worrying, preoccupying oneself about that IS the problem. And that’s something that I have also been working on by instead focusing on living this process of ‘preparation’ day by day and having a focus on living the words confidence and strength, and I’ll explain how in this blog.

I consider I am directing the diligence and discipline that I may have for more ‘mental’ tasks in a more physical-body level currently based on what I’ve informed myself will be required for me to deliver a baby naturally. The words that got me to consider this were: “it will most likely be like climbing up a mountain” and well, considering I’ve not been that proficient at doing such a thing before, I considered it was a bit ‘too late’ to get prepared for that, but people in these preparation processes have encouraged me to think otherwise and to rather be able to trust myself in being able to do it. But only ‘thinking’ I can trust myself is definitely not enough for me. 

Interestingly enough, I have kept a somewhat constant physical activity for some 15 years – yes before I was a coach potato for the most part and ‘loathed’ physical exercise – in some phases I’ve pushed myself a lot more than in others, but I never really considered myself as having some kind of ‘athletic wood’ so to speak, and I’ve realized that these were also self-imposed limitations based on ‘the genes’ I have or ‘the family I come from’ where physical activity wasn’t really inculcated, etc. All excuses, to be honest. Well, enough with the excuses. Today I’m on my 31 week, yep that means less than 10 weeks now to give birth and I’ve been feeling quite well to be honest.

I know I have ‘pooped’ my emotions here about those first three months and surely, they weren’t pleasant at all, perhaps if I could have done something different it would have been to push myself to do some light exercises and stop fearing ‘miscarriages’ altogether, because it wasn’t supportive or healthy to have that in mind the whole time, so there, that’s my point to advice and perhaps learn from, so from pre-occupying myself I decided to rather strengthen myself and my resolve to walk this whole decision of having a baby and becoming a mother the best way that I can, not only for myself, but for my baby’s wellbeing.

Ever since the fourth month kicked in and I started to get back to being active, things improved a lot within me –mentally and physically – and I haven’t stopped talking about the importance of physical exercise to really support the body through all the changes that it is going through with the pregnancy. I’ll share here how I went introducing that because as much as I don’t like to say ‘this is how things should be or go,’ who knows? Someone might give it a try and integrate activities that might assist them in their body and maybe explore others that may ‘resonate’ or be more aligned with themselves in terms of exercises or activities to keep oneself active throughout the pregnancy. 

On the fourth month I started doing some light prenatal yoga from videos on YouTube, which were a nice way to get myself ‘back on track’ after – really – doing Nothing for 3 months. Ugh, I feel a bit of frustration about that because I definitely saw how the lack of my usual walks and exercise definitely had an impact on my mental state – and I know there will be a phase like that after our baby is born, so I have to be gentle and understanding on that and know that ‘it is a phase’ only and to embrace it as part of the  recovery process.

Then, I got into swimming, I originally only wanted ‘free time’ in a pool, but I decided to actually take the classes and have some guidance on my time in the pool, so I’m taking swimming classes and aqua fitness which apparently is quite recommendable for pregnant ladies as well. This is where the ‘surprising’ factor comes in based on how much I’ve been enjoying that – as I mentioned in my last blog – but also how I thought my endurance would diminishing as baby grows, but the contrary is happening, I would say. I enjoy how there’s some strengthening happening in my body and surely, yes, I take it ‘slower’ perhaps, but the drive and commitment to be there every single time pushing myself a bit more has been quite an awesome experience for me, considering that I thought that those qualities were mostly like ‘mental’ qualities for me, but taking them to a physical level, has been quite rewarding in terms of the result of all of this is  feeling quite well physically, and consequently having my mind, my body quite well and aligned I’d say, feeling at peace with it, which is surely supportive for both of ourselves in the body J

I also got back into doing my usual walk which is like 3 kilometers a day at least, perhaps not ‘every day’ but 5 times a week if I can. I did have a flu that lasted some 3 days and I didn’t go out then, but on the fourth day I was back on track and that also supported me to recover faster. Then, I only started prenatal yoga at the end of last month and that I definitely regret not having gotten into before, but as they said: it’s not too late and so I’m there. That has definitely been quite ‘on spot’ for me to strengthen the muscles that will be involved in the whole delivery process and also encouraging myself to get better at it withstanding those yes, very demanding poses at times – lol – but knowing hey! I am getting better at it as weeks go by, regardless of baby bump growing or me putting on weight, which interestingly enough hasn’t also sky rocketed because of the exercise I guess and surely, watching out my food intake as well because! I did see the consequences of going into all the ‘dia de muertos’ treats like the sweet bread lol, where I gained an extra kilo by indulging too much into it, and I immediately noticed there was some swelling going on so that was a ‘red alert’ for me to cut out carbs and not over indulge. So that was also me listening and paying attention to my body, something I thought I just ‘wasn’t able to do’ or couldn’t ‘connect’ with, this whole pregnancy process has definitely assisted me to get more intimate and integrate more with my body, that’s for sure.

And then last but not least, continuing with my qi gong classes which have been overall supportive in integrating myself more within my body, learning to breathe and so become more aware of breath throughout the day and integrate some more of my strengths and core capacities by acknowledging what we are all made of, who we really are as living matter and what we are meant to live and do here on Earth. All of these activities also involve getting to know and meet people that have a similar vein of self-support, self-improvement, self-development and that’s awesome without a doubt, because many times one can feel a bit ‘alone’ in some processes so getting ‘out there’ and meeting people in doing physical activities together has assisted me a lot as well.

I guess one of the satisfactions I have is how from the let’s call it ‘dread and fear’ I had at the beginning of the pregnancy, I set myself to turn it around into a process of self-empowerment – both physically and mentally – through practicing ways to live the words confidence and strength, which to me have come from the physical doings which in turn remind myself of such confidence and strength at an ‘inner’ level, which is what we are all capable of being and doing, but we don’t remind ourselves of it enough or we ‘placate’ those attributes by focusing too much on fears and mental distractions that lead nowhere but to disempowerment. And that usually comes from fears and oh, we know where fears lead us…… to the grave.

It has also been a cool confirmation of all of this when going to the doctor for checkups and have him read a whole list of possible problems or symptoms and say ‘nope’ to all of them. My main discomforts have been related to having to pee constantly and some heartburn or acidity in the esophagus, for which I was told it is ok to take antacids, and so that’s what the prescription was about. That’s been about it for my pregnancy discomfort so far. What’s the reason for this? Again, I attribute this to physical activity and a change of attitude within me towards the whole process.

Meaning, when I decided ‘I’m going to FULLY do and embrace this pregnancy, that means doing the most that I can to be well in my body not only for myself but for the baby too, which is also being reflected in how things are developing with her, which is awesome and satisfying as well. Again, I got told so many stories of all things that could go wrong, and it’s OK to learn from others’ mistakes and experiences, but I have also taken all of that feedback as a way to challenge it and myself within it, and trusting my body in its capacity to do this, which it already does without me being able to be at all aware of how my body, my life, is developing another life within me, I’m just doing the ‘balancing and maintenance’ so to speak, and preparing the ‘mothership’ as best as I can, but also not going by the idea that ‘I shouldn’t be doing all that physical work’ and so forth, because, the results are the results so far, so that’s a physical proof that the more I keep at it with strengthening my body and keeping confident that I will know when to slow down or change routines, I will then make changes accordingly, but not out of fear, but out of consideration for my body and for the baby, which is a physical assessment by the day.

There were a couple of days after I hit the 30 weeks where I thought ‘uh the discomfort is kicking in now’ which was a thought linked to hitting the 30 weeks mark in gestation, but I said to myself, it’s only more weight on the belly, you can get used to it, might take some days but then it will be the ‘new sensation’ only – and yes, gladly it was temporary as well. So, a change in attitude has also been a key point as well when it comes to it, because it’s easy to get influenced by others’ stories and experiences, but also the more you hear about people that have pushed themselves beyond ‘perceived limits,’ it inspires you to do the same and test it out with due caution of course.

A part of me didn’t want to share about all of this because there is that tendency in all of us to compare and believe that ‘if she can, then I can’ and that’s most likely not the case either.  Each one’s physical and emotional process will be entirely different based on the fact that no ‘two’ individuals are ever exactly the same. What I am seeing at this moment is also the result of all the work done first at a mind level within this process with Desteni, learning how to handle my emotions, my fears and now integrating more of a physical aspect to it, integrating more with my body through the exercises and practices, which yes many times lead me to wonder ‘Why on Earth hadn’t I done this before?’ but hey, I can’t live in remorse about that, it’s here, I’m here, I’m doing it, I’m enjoying it and that’s what counts to me.

It’s also very supportive to meet people going through the same process – in this case pregnancy – and seeing how they handle it, that has been mostly inspiring and opening ideas and doors to try things out that were completely ‘out of my radar’ before, investigating, learning more about our bodies as we go through pregnancy and during labor and all that stuff that I simply wasn’t interested ‘at all’ before. And that has also led me to appreciate and be in more connection and comfort within my own body, yes, even though that belly is getting bigger by the day, there’s an appreciation of how the body can ‘handle’ that ‘weight of life’ as I like to call it hehe and still be functioning well, without me giving it ‘orders’ of what needs to be done, and that’s also how that confidence exists at a very primal and pure physical level of ‘my body knows what it’s doing’ and I am like a care-taker that ensures I give it proper rest, nutrition, exercise and mental support as in self-checking what is ‘moving’ as things open up and happen as we prepare to become parents.

One of the main topics have also been standing our ground in terms of how we want to do things, despite the fears or warnings we may get from others around us that I’m sure have the best intentions to provide certain information or experience as a form of care, but! There’s also an importance in doing things the way that resonate the best with where one is in relation to one’s body, one’s life, one’s partner in this case and assessing what would be of course best for the baby to come, even if that involves more challenges, perhaps more pain if you will, some ‘risks’ like with anything, but ultimately the more we ground ourselves with this strengthening of confidence, the more the ‘what ifs’ and ‘fears’ go dwindling.

In my case as I’ve discussed in my very first blog about pregnancy, I noticed that ‘it all’ was ‘the greatest fear’ I had: to get pregnant, to deliver a baby – naturally or through surgery – and to become a mother/parent. And it’s been quite cool to look back and see how I’ve set myself for it without half-assing the process or leaving it in the hands of fate to see ‘how things will be’ so to speak, meaning, doing nothing to get prepared, informed and as much as I can ready for what’s to come. But as with anything, that’s as much as I can do and as far as my certainty can go. There’s also the understanding and awareness that we may have certain plans and ideas of ‘how things will go,’ but I’m also totally aware this is the unknown and uncharted territory for us, so, I’m also integrating the flexibility, the ability to understand that if things can’t go as expected, if something happens ‘out of the foreseen,’ I can trust myself that no matter what, I can go through it, there can be solutions, there are always ways to walk through something and that in the end, things will be alright – and this may not mean a ‘desired outcome’ – but rather understanding how things happen and one can only buckle one’s shoes to walk that path and learn as one goes in the moment as it happens.

Perhaps something I will say is to not ‘conform’ or ‘settle’ for something that one is not 100% comfortable with or certain about. We live in a great time where any and all kinds of info is at the tips of our fingers and in our pockets, so it really takes that will to say ‘nope, I am not satisfied with this plan/idea of how to do things, let’s see what other options there are’ and that unravels perhaps a whole new path and way of doing and approaching things that in turn, can be a lot more satisfying, grounding, supportive and beneficial than if settling for the ‘not so great but at least known’ or ‘settling for the comfortable’ so to speak, which at least in my book is not something I want to do in my life.

This is also where I can remind myself that even if things do not go as expected, I can be satisfied with myself that I made a decision and have lived it all the way every single day with the best attitude and effort, discipline and commitment that I can, because yes I knew I could not ‘live with myself’ if I had remained in say, the physical and mental state that I was in when I walked those first three months… sure the nausea was just endless every day and all those abrupt physical changes but, I know that also my unsettled fears and what ifs may have aggravated that. So, for me what worked is physical activity and through that balancing out whatever else may come at a mind level to deal with. For some others it might be the other way around or not need the physical activity at all – but this is my experience thus far.

And yes, who knows, it’s interesting how it goes when others share their experience, it’s almost as if hardship is expected, like ‘oh you will see how it goes when you hit the third trimester’ or ‘oh you won’t be so light about it when you can’t sleep or tie your shoes’ and so forth… but, even those comments and experiences I’m taking as a reference to perhaps challenge them – or confirm them in any case – and really getting to see how truthful they are or if they are just an outcome of perhaps not having remained active enough during pregnancy to keep a relative level of functionality. And again, this may not be a possible thing to do for each one based on previous health conditions, so, not to be taken personally, but if one is sound and healthy, then surely there is no reason to not try out some of these suggestions out.

Also watching YouTube videos of people that have kept a good level of functionality throughout their pregnancy has been quite supportive and inspiring, but not only on YouTube because it has been very encouraging to for example meet a lady on my first day of prenatal yoga and ask her ‘hey how far are you in your pregnancy?’ and her replying ‘Oh I’m on the 9th month, I could give birth today actually, who knows! I’m feeling kind of weird today’ and still go through the entire – yes –physically rocking session of prenatal yoga. I actually sent her a voice message to thank her for her example, which cheered her up after some complications that she had upon delivery and nursing. This was also a cool reminder for me to not keep quiet when I see strengths in others that may need to hear about it in moments of weakness or disempowerment, she thanked me for it even though I only met her once and talked to her for about 10 minutes in total, but that contact was also crucial for a number of reasons, and perhaps someone that I will continue to relate to as time goes.

Why hadn’t I written before? Things had to be walked real time for me to share with confidence about it, it’s easy to write words and ideas of what to do, but walking them, living them and sharing back the results is what counts the most for me, since I then have a tangible reference of how things are going  and how it all seems to be working well for me, which is satisfying – and perhaps it assists in ‘what’s to come’ as in strengthening my character and getting ready for the life changing event, which will surely rock my world around for good.

Another factor is that baby doesn’t like me to remain sitting for long periods of time – and yes even if I switched my office chair for a bouncing birth ball, she likes activity for sure, so she starts kicking when I’ve been sitting for longer periods of time, so I’ve had to move things around in my day to still keep at it with my responsibilities, but also attend and listen to my body and my baby to get food, movement, exercise, sleep and so forth. Right now I skipped my daily walk because we had a pregnancy circle reunion during the morning to meet other ‘to be’ parents and discuss about the general doubts and learn some stuff for the delivery process, which was cool, but then, that involved being out and traveling a bit further away so, I decided to stay home for the afternoon and write this out.

At some point I thought I was going to write more about ‘standing up to others’ fears’ but, I realized that would have been more like a ‘defense’ mode or ‘attacking’ mode to people’s fears that I did allow myself to feel conflicted by at some point when it comes to deciding to give birth naturally, but then I realized that fears are just fears. I have to understand why they emerge, why some people hold them as ‘truth’ to their heart and simply understand that it might also be a cool process for them to see how things can go without fears or ameliorating their fears even with say natural remedies – or plain meds in some cases – to assist the body to walk through some of those fears. In this case it’s more in relation to my mother for example in how she presents this pattern and I’m learning to not take it personally or be influenced by it, but more so understand it and also see myself reflected in them in order to see what I have to also change within me to not follow through that ‘fear path’ that she has – which has definitely also ‘poured through’ into the rest of the family. I realized that I do not need to ‘stand up to fears’ but more like focusing on strengthening our resolve, our will, our determination and our confidence to walk through something that, well, should be as natural as eating for the most part, otherwise humanity would have gone extinct a long time ago, isn’t it?

So I’m learning to not get influenced or ‘determined’ by others’ decisions, comments, ideas, beliefs, perceptions, but rather strengthen my decision, my will, my body, my determination along with my partner who has been a major pillar of support from day 1 in my life, and who has definitely been a key and very relevant person in supporting this current process I’m walking with myself, my body, our baby within and the decisions that this life changing event is bringing to our lives J And we are quite satisfied so far with it, and that’s definitely awesome.  There is nothing like being completely aligned with your partner, your husband, your life partner, your agreement person when it comes to how to walk a pregnancy, a delivery process, a post-birthing process and then the rest of the life of raising a child together with that commitment of bringing someone that will continue to be what each one of us have set ourselves to bring to this world: a point of change, of authenticity in expression, of creating new ways of doing things that are more beneficial to life on Earth and in general, to give a continuation to that decision to live the best that one can, regardless of how ‘the world’ may look like. I’m learning lots from this and I’m sure this is just the tiny peak of the iceberg, the beginning and yes,  who knew I would say this, but I’m definitely enjoying it all – I’ll leave it at that and yes, embracing whatever comes in these last two months that I’ve left until the birthing process with this same approach and attitude I’ve described thus far.

If someone wants to discuss something in relation to what I shared or has questions, comments, please share, I definitely consider we are all in this together and there is nothing more humbling than knowing that this that I am sharing may be of support perhaps even for something completely different to a ‘birthing process’ – but in any other ‘birthing of life’ process that one may be involved in.

Thanks for reading J

 

Strengthening Confidence - Pregnancy blog

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638. A Redefined Spirituality

 

 The following is inspired by the writings of a life  colleague –  as I am now deciding to define him – who shared a lengthy letter to me as a response to something that I wrote him in an intent to assist in seeing the blueprint of the points that I consider were veiling him from seeing through the steps to get back into an ownership of his self creation and self awareness,  which he has walked in his very own set of paths of ways – but interestingly enough, we have found each other having the same intent and purpose in our lives which we will be joining in an common project where we can share more of our personal experiences and processes with many more that might find themselves in the same kind of ‘holes’ in our creative processes that we have both acknowledged having been limited by in our creative paths of inner and outer creations.  

To give some context to this self forgiveness, this is a reflection of what I see of myself in his words and speaks to anyone that can identify themselves with being ‘a seeker’ or someone that seeks meaning to one’s own existence, to one’s own creation in many ways and paths and if not getting to live their potential, it becomes a source of emotional and detrimental experiences such as falling generally ‘ill’ in the form of lacking direction and purpose, being stagnant in expression, losing sight of the ‘bigger picture’ in life, being veiled by emotions such as dread, depression, sadness, despair and in a way blaming everyone else that doesn’t seem to care for life and the world as oneself as the source for our own apathy and frustration, not realizing we are ‘it’ ourselves too in living out that character of disempowerment and helplessness and victimization.

 To sum up, it reminded me a lot of the path that I’ve also walked and that it’s still part of me and I have not forgotten it, I just have in a way stepped out of the cocoon and see things quite differently now, but it is as if I am embarking myself in this new project and walking with him in this project in this phase of my life because our will was mightier than the limitations that we many times fell into, and I’m genuinely glad and happy to see him slowly but surely realizing these things and taking on his creative path again, which I recognize that I have to do myself in my own self imposed limitations as well, and it’s great to have someone to walk such path with, someone that understands the seemingly ‘similar’ kind of patterns that some of us ‘creative’ people go through, but many often give up half way and get lost in the midst of ‘the fog’ and don’t persevere enough to see through the illusions to remain ‘with the finger in line’ as he says, living one’s expression and will, despite the nature of everything and everyone around us as it currently exists, but being courageous enough to understand things at a deeper level and hold that little flame alive within us no matter what, and let each other know ‘hey I am here, I understand, I walk with, let’s work together’ which is quite priceless and unique to find seemingly ‘out of nowhere’ and here is to say as well that coincidences don’t exist, only what we determine ourselves to be and do which eventually takes us to where we need to be to fulfill that which we set ourselves to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep quiet and wait for someone else to make the decisions of what I should be and do and within that, diminishing bit by bit my determination to express and take responsibility for the decisions that I make and what I live in my life, which I realize diminished my ability to live me and bit by bit dried the flow of the abundant river that I have always been aware exists as me, as the life that I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself into experiences of despair and arguing for my limitations in neglect cultivating my own confidence and stance that has always been here as myself, it just got clouded by the emotions that became the comfortable way to justify not living the potential of who I really am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of my mind my own obstacle that created shame, anger, despair, uncertainty and sadness which I realize is the way in which I now realize are the ingredients to create resistance,  which my mind creates in greed of energy and in allowing that, I stepped further and further away from actually getting to do what I know and have always been aware of is the truth of my being, what I can and need to direct myself to be, live and express.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a comfort zone in remaining skeptical and not want to intervene in my own life in order to not have to take responsibility for myself, not realizing that this seemingly ‘comfortable zone’ led me to sink deeper in a hole where I alienated myself from my own wholeness, from my own power as the capacity to direct myself, to intervene in my own life, to decide to change if something wasn’t working anymore, to innovate in the way that I can decide to live me and within that acknowledging the work, dedication, consistency and will that it will require to create and live myself as the best that I can be. That’s what self-creation is all about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be-lie-ve the statement ‘nothing really matters’ as a way to avoid myself in taking action in all the things that I knew I had to take action on in my life to be and become the better version of myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have been in great thirst of knowledge and information in an attempt to find a way to change the way that I am and how I see and understand life, not realizing how I only inflated my mind with it, but I wasn’t really learning and applying how to really nurture my soul and being in the daily actions, words and habits that I realize I have to take action on in order to live the best of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately over complicate myself with theories, ideas, beliefs and philosophies which I realize may assist in our paths, but can also create new excuses where we miss out the common sense that always exists within ourselves, we just have to decide to let go of wanting to ‘seek out there’ and instead start getting to ‘what’s inside of me’ and write myself to see who I really am, what I really want to do, defining my purpose, defining my drive and take the first steps to do so in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I know many things but not really getting to understand the steps, the process it takes to interiorize, to integrate, to live the awareness of the things I realized in my life. I realize it takes actual change, work and effort to live the words that I get through realizations.

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize how ‘realizing’ and understanding something invariably leads to the next step which is to take action on it, to not only be infatuated in an enlightening idea or momentary experience, but to embrace and direct that impetus to create the actual change in space and time and take the necessary steps to do so in order to honor the path that took me to get to realize, see and understand what I now see, realize and understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allow myself to define me and allow myself to be dictated by the construct and concept of time, by the illusion of having to remain ‘current’ according to that abstraction which time is – which we have created in means to control ourselves. I realize we create time, we decide how we live time in this reality, but I no longer allow myself to be dictated by it and what I should feel or experience according to the idea I have around it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself in a bottle of complexities where I believed no one else cared, no one would understand or listen and in that, miss out the many opportunities to connect , share and get to know others, because of becoming my own living judgment of seeing everything as ‘lost and pointless’ and not seeing that in doing so, I wasn’t getting anywhere else but became more detached from myself, from my own reality and from getting to understand ‘the other’ as myself too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic to continue discovering the wonders of who we are and can be and become, and instead to become sad at the apathy I saw in others, not realizing that in doing so, I became equal to what I was only seeing in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the epitome of hope in despair, where I gave myself up in the wait for something or someone else to show me the way, to tell me what to do and not take responsibility to be my own director, my own guide, my own master that is self-created – not following, not taught, but simply learning from others’ experiences and making them my own by testing them out to see if they work or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of lack as an excuse and as a determining factor of my being where I placed myself into a survival mode  that turned me into a selfish and ruthless being, becoming fearful, anxious and angry at myself for knowing that this ‘lack’ is entirely self created and that no one else is doing this to myself, but me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not give me the gift of Understanding another, because I realize that I can’t hate another if I understand how we all have created this in separation of who we really are as life. I now realize that Understanding is one of the most profound and liberating gifts we can give to ourselves.

I forgive myself as everyone else in our weaknesses and fractured beingness because as big as the weaknesses and fractures are, these cannot override the virtues that we actually are and can develop as the new nature of our being. This is self-creation, it is not born from perfection, but from the decision to overcome the complexities, the falls, the mistakes, the wrongdoings, the self-neglect.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect the dedication it requires to get to understand how we function in our minds and our being, because that in itself reveals our truth and as such, it becomes the most useful thing to do and dedicate our lives to cultivate.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not continue cultivating my own understanding to direct and create my own healing process and within that, cultivate my own self-awareness,  to no longer be defined and limited by survival in this world as a justification to not live the wholeness of myself in  my day to day and in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to redefine spirituality as a sincere and grounded way to define and create my own being, to create the habits and methods to continue developing my self-awareness in every moment of my existence, to be in contact with my being, my body and to create an awareness of the effect that my thoughts, words and deeds create in my reality. I realize I can do this without the need of crystalized dogmas and instead can be lived by a simple and consistent dedication in developing these supportive habits of being in contact with myself and taking full ownership of my capacity to define, reinvent, innovate and reconstruct myself, because no one else can do this for me, but myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live determination and do the hard work that it takes to live this process of creating my own life and self awareness, because I realize it requires courage and determination and I believed myself to be devoid of these. Now I realize we all have what is needed, that we all can live these words and that’s the living faith in which I decide to live in, to be the driving force of my capacity, will and determination to do that which I know and realize are the building blocks to the creation of who I really want to be as the expression of the wholeness that I go creating and expressing in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having been ashamed in being the one that is not following the same path as everyone else, but instead decided  to swim against the flow, going into the opposite direction while everyone seemed to not care or see where they are being led to.  Now I realize, see and understand that this very will, determination and decision to keep going ‘against all odds’ got me to where I am today, where I now open my eyes to see that there is no shame at all in living my own truth even if no one seemed to care or understand, because it’s not about others but about my own decision to live me, to express that care, that love which is sufficient to live the truth of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up many times in the many creative ways that I pursued at some point in my life, not realizing that I can work things, that I can implement changes and innovate in my life to keep that living flame alive even if it only seems to lighten up my own face. I realize that this is what living me and expressing me means, to do it because of myself and for nothing and no one else other than the expression of the potential that is unleashed when one decides to live unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the perceived’ wasted time’ when I neglected the essentially creative capacity that I am and that I have. I now realize that such ‘wasted time’ was part of the process and the many roads that have led me to be and become who I am here, that I can start where I am – in every moment, in every new breath – and to realize that in any moment, I can only be the one that drives me or becomes my own worst-enemy and limitation to do this as an expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that frustration is a symptom of the incomprehension of my own self movement, and that stagnation is no more than the nature of all sickness that manifests when I don’t allow myself to flow and be the water that flows, that reclaims its natural will to express, to flow, to be, to adapt, to move and embody the realization that its movement never ceases, because I’m not defined by a measure of time – I embrace the creation of the potential that I decide to live and cultivate as the everlasting self that always remains here, just like the water in the world.

I forgive myself for living out my weaknesses and for allowing them to affect others in their own lives. I now decide to work on the changes, the habits, the actions that will turn them into actual strengths.

I realize that I can only get through in my life if I place my own faith back on myself as the recognition of my capacity to change my reality and the outcome of my life through the work that I can dedicate myself to do every day in order to honor the wholeness of my being, to no longer be trapped in the experience of lack and all its unfulfilled concepts that I had allowed myself to believe and be enslaved by.

I now take ownership of my own discipline and self-creation moved by the love that I realize I can express in my work and the enjoyment that I imprint on it and on myself in doing so.  I commit myself to become the author and creator of all of this that celebrates the manifestation of what and who I realize I really am at a fundamental and existential level as life itself.

I understand and realize that time is only a measure of earthly oxidation, however even if I deteriorate, it does not define my stance and who I am as I keep my finger at it, becoming and living the drive that has got me to where I am here today, because no matter what: I remain current.

I decide to trust myself in my decisions, my actions, the paths that I decide to walk, embrace the ups and downs it may entail because I decide to trust myself in being able to learn from it and expand my expression through that, because I realize that that’s what living life is all about.

 

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Join in if you want to start walking your own process of defining your Self-Honesty


570. I Matter and Selflessness

Or debunking the notion that ‘I had to suffer’ in order to create a change in the world

selfless

n   adjective concerned more with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own.

 

‘I Matter’ came at a timely moment where I had been in a way ‘breaking through’ this very ingrained pattern of ‘being there more for others than myself’ at least in my mind and in my approach to every single moment of my day where, the moment that I stepped out of my usual routine, I got to experience this idea of me possibly doing something ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ because of not doing some usual things that are mostly destined – in my mind and how I would approach it – ‘to and for others’. Now, it wasn’t like I was going to stop doing them altogether, but simply taking some time ‘off’ enabled me to see what kind of fears and judgments emerged in relation to ‘my role towards others’ and seeing that idea of myself as this ‘example for others’ threatened by me not being consistent with something as simple as posting a blog and of course within this context of ‘walking process’ which then makes it more of a mandatory activity or ‘religious habit’ than an actual self-support point, which I definitely challenged throughout that time to see what ‘remains’ of me if I don’t do what I would set myself to do on a daily basis, which I had defined more as ‘doing it for others’ than ‘doing it for myself,’ which is what I am working on redefining and aligning within me.

So, what this enabled me to see is that there is/was a dimension of motivation through this ‘role’ that I took on within myself where I had to be consistent ‘at the eyes of others’ or ‘for others’ or ‘to be an example for others’ and through that, continuing validating myself, continuing to exist in ‘my place in the world’ so to speak defined by what I believe is relevant of my doings ‘towards others/ for others’ only, and that’s what I had to open up in relation to this word ‘selfless’ and how I had lived that word throughout my life.

How I noticed this pattern is also when being in the context of ‘taking some time off’ and at times not being able to fully ‘let go’ of myself and stopping judging the world as ‘unjust or unfair,’ being more concerned with the lack and suffering of others I’d see around me – or what I believe is their suffering – which invariably would affect me at some level as well, and in that going into a slight ‘sinking’ experience of me not doing anything about it which translates into a form of ‘guilt’ and at times ‘shame’ for having the opportunity to take some time off, enjoy myself and let go of my day to day routine for some time which surely enough, not everyone in this world has a luxury to have, however if I continue comparing what I have and what others don’t have every single moment of my day, I’ll only continue torturing myself to death and at the same time this comparison doesn’t sort out a thing in relation to other’s livelihood and reality.

I also got to understand that when I get to have such opportunity to ‘take some time off’ existing in guilt, embarrassment, shame, remorse or any other form of judgment is not going to change other people’s reality and context and instead, I end up affecting myself with constantly seeing ‘everything that’s wrong’ in the world which leads me nowhere in that moment, because I cannot practically ‘change’ people’s livelihood situation such as poverty, misery or suffering by me feeling ‘compassion’ towards them in a form of suffering, guilt or shame. And that’s more or less what had been a constant in my life up to this point, where I believed that I had to be selfless, to fully and totally focus on others and seeing this as a virtue – but is it really?

It is ok to consider others sure and not live only in a ‘me, me, me’ bubble all the time, but not to the extreme of allowing myself to be emotionally affected by others’ lives/experiences and having a twisted belief that ‘I should suffer’ in some way to create a form of again twisted ‘solidarity’ towards them. This practically meant in my mind and life having to avoid self-enjoyment, not giving myself ‘time off’ from my day to day routine, choosing to live at times in quite uncomfortable situations and environments within the belief that ‘If others can live like this, then I should as well’ and believing that through doing this I was being ‘more equal to’ the majority of the world, the ‘reality’ of this world – no different to people that decide to recluse themselves in a monastery and go at times without eating or enduring physical pains in order to reach some kind of ‘holiness.’

All of this is part of the same design and construct of being ‘morally upright’ and believing that I could lead a life to ‘teach others’ how to ‘consider others’ and in that, live an austere life because apparently that would make me ‘holier than thou’ lol – or in my particular construct ‘more equal to others,’ at times renouncing to points of luxury because of perceiving that I’d do more harm than good with them. Anyways, the examples could go on and on within this particular construct and no, it’s not about me going to the opposite extreme now, but surely it is about stopping my own constant judgment and comparison of everything that relates to, in essence, money and the comforts or disadvantages that lacking money brings in a person’s life or my own.

Therefore, I realized how through constantly focusing on others’ needs and constantly seeking out to find the ‘suffering’ in others, the ‘lack’, seeing only ‘the problems,’ I became the problem myself to a certain extent, seeing no way out in this world, seeing only problems, becoming emotionally affected by it and all, without seeing how this is in fact self-interest, because I cannot practically change anyone’s life by suffering ‘with them,’ or by ‘feeling sorry for them’ or commiserating with them, I only keep becoming ‘the problem’ myself by only feeling ‘bad’ about it all but doing nothing for myself, for my own life and through that to that of others in a practical manner.

What does this practically imply? I have to stop recreating and existing in any form of guilt within seeing the systemic problems we have created in this world. Stop existing in a form of ‘depression’, ‘sadness’, ‘shame’ or even ‘anger’ upon witnessing the reality of those that don’t have a comfortable economic position in this world, because my emotions won’t ever sort out their position, their situation, ever. And this then at the same time means that I have to embrace what I have, what I can live, do, express, expand on for and as myself. To no longer believe that I had to ‘diminish’ myself because ‘oh others are suffering in this world’ which as ludicrous as it may sound, I was in fact functioning within such mentality, which dare I say becomes also a comfortable excuse to appear to be ‘selfless’ and ‘benevolent’ at the eyes of others or doing ‘supportive stuff’ for others, but not really doing something substantial for ourselves, our lives, our experience, our actual living potential as ‘I Matter.’

What can I instead do? Is realizing first and foremost that ‘I Matter’ and that I have to stop focusing so much on ‘the world’ and ‘others’ needs’ and trying to be Mother Theresa in whichever way I was attempting to be ‘for others’ and become a bit more selfish in a supportive manner, focusing on what I can in fact do, develop and be for and by myself, which interestingly enough I had judged to do for such a long time because ‘it doesn’t benefit others directly!’ apparently, but! I had not considered that dimension of understanding ‘I Matter’ and what this in fact means in our relationship to who we are, what we are, what we can be and become and create in our lives and world, how it is in the very relationships that we create, on our day to day actions or inactions that we in fact can create an impact in this world! Not through me believing I am ‘caring for others’ by only worrying about them and denying my own self enjoyment and self-expression through a form of guilt or shame disguised as vows of ‘austerity’ and ‘compassion’ – that’s never going to lead me anywhere but to a suppressed self-expression disguised as selflessness, benevolence, a form of ‘sainthood’ that in the long run, would have turned me into a very bitter, frustrated, envious, regretful individual that would place ‘What I’ve done for others’ as a form of spite against the world.

I’ve definitely known people like that and it is very hard to deal with them, because the whole point of ‘doing things for others’ becomes an apparent ‘benevolent excuse’ to be spiteful, to be jealous, to judge others, to compare what ‘one has done’ with what ‘others had done or haven’t done’ because it apparently creates a right to place oneself on a pedestal of ‘being good to others’ or ‘helping so many people in the world’ while actually – maybe and possibly – denying one’s own development of support, care, growth, expansion and expression within one’s own life.

So, I am at the same time grateful of having interacted with people that have such design and seeing firsthand how that ends up manifesting with decades of existing in such ‘sainthood’ or ‘selfless’ pattern at a later stage in their lives, so that I can see them as an example of what I have to change right now in my life, in my approach towards me and others, what it means to live the words ‘I Matter’ for me, as me, in what I do, what I create, who I am in supporting others’ and within that, letting go of creating a front of ‘serving others’ only as a primary definition of who I am, because as much as it might seem a ‘benevolent’ thing or beneficial for others, within this construct and not balancing it out with ‘I matter’ as self-care, self support, self recognition, self worth, doing it for me, it can become a time-bomb to create a life of dissatisfaction where one could eventually get to see that ‘all I’ve done has always been ‘for others’ and I forgot about myself in that’ which I consider would be something I’d end up regretting at the end of my life.

Therefore to me it’s time to focus on me, to learn to live the words ‘I Matter’ first and foremost, to let go of my subtle guilt trips or perceived ‘duties’ in relation to others and rather stand ‘alone’ in the sense of stopping having ‘others eyes on me’ in my mind, stand as who I am for and as myself and not within ‘who I am to others,’ which is the definition I have to now give back to myself entirely through self support, self worth, self dedication, self appreciation, living authority and leadership for and as myself – and walk the actuality of it in my day to day, to see how it works out. Who knows, maybe it is not ‘the right way,’ maybe it leads me to a ‘wrong path’ but that’s what I’ll find out for myself. So far it’s been quite liberating to see this construct within me and redefine the approach to my life, therefore I don’t claim to have any answers or ‘right paths,’ this is just what I’ll be living and testing out for myself and sharing it as part of walking this process of self-support and living words and placing the focus of purpose and what matters within my own life, within myself, as myself.

I’ll continue expanding on redefining some of the words that I’ve used to live through this construct of ‘moral uprightness’ or ‘sainthood’ or ‘serving others’ or ‘benevolence’ or whichever other name it can have, which I now see has been there for as long as I can remember in my life and for once and for all debunk the notion or idea of people with this construct as ‘good people’ or ‘exemplar’ because if we forget about ourselves in the equation, we are in fact doing a disservice to our own lives and becoming a charitable person, a ‘selfless person’ that is neglecting one’s own wellbeing, which is the same as dishonoring the matter, the life that we are in fact as ourselves.

So, time to get ‘back to self’ for me.

Thanks for reading.

 

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


567. I Matter: 1,2,3 Change!

Or how to short-cut ‘the process of change’ by seeing straight into the words ‘I Matter’

It’s been quite interesting to open up this point of ‘I matter’ in the past days and generally getting a sense of what the words together mean for different people, which can be read in a group chat we had yesterday here: I MATTER – what does that practically mean? – 31 May 2017 – I had an idea about it until today that I listened to a broader explanation of it in this and opened up a different aspect of what these words mean in fact.

I’m not a native English speaker and I’ve basically used English to also integrate new meanings, words and points of change in my life which has been quite supportive considering that it was almost like a ‘new platform’ for me to start creating on. The word ‘matter’ and its immediate association within me is in relation to the ‘prime matter’ or that which we are all made of, life itself, what we ‘consist of’ and also a bit of a connotation in relation to ‘problems,’ but I had not personally looked at the meaning of saying ‘I matter’ as in – for a lack of a better meaning –‘I am important, I am relevant’ type of association, which now I see in the past I could have had some reactions to as well considering that in my younger years, I truly saw ‘no point’ to my life or existence and was in a way ready to give up on myself/everything, which I am glad I never actually acted up on, but I can definitely know how it feels to believe that there’s no relevance, importance or ‘meaning’ ultimately to one’s life.

So, currently my experience and relationship to these words ‘I matter’ is much more of a physical relationship of being able to see within me ‘who am I as matter’ as this body/mind/being that I am existing as in any given moment and within that, prompt myself to see if that’s what I want to be expressing and living as ‘matter’ as the matter that I am – meaning as the body, the thoughts, the actions, the intent, the words that I am living – in any given moment and from there, see if I can make a decision to change, to imprint a new direction, initiate movement, create a point of expansion.

Another way to associate the words ‘I matter’ to me is to see myself in a moment, and if what I exist at the moment is a ‘problem’ or is an experience that I’d like to change, then I associate the words ‘I matter’ to both realizing myself as the problem AND the solution existing within me at the same time – how? By directing myself in practical actions in the moment to change my experience.

A basic example here: if I see myself drowning in a point of inaction or laziness towards doing something, that’s where I can ask myself ‘what am I existing as and imprinting on, living/expressing as ‘the matter that I am’ in this moment? And if this is existing as procrastination, then what do I know? I can decide in the moment to change into actually getting to do what I was ‘tempted’ for a moment to leave for later. That’s a very simplistic way of looking at this whole point of self-change, it can happen in the moment and it doesn’t require a ‘lag’ to eventually ‘be ready’ for something – it can be done in the moment by deciding to just do it, willing myself to it and give myself the direction for it. I matter = 1,2,3 change!

See this is what I found most supportive from the following interview I listened to today here Practically Defining “I Matter” (Part 2) – Atlanteans – Part 472 of which I will of course share as well all the precedent ones that explain step by step this fascinating point of transforming the notion of having a ‘purpose’ in life into this starting point of ‘I Matter’, and I noticed how upon looking at the words ‘purpose’ yes, my mind goes into this grandiose idea of it, something to be done ‘in the future’ and to build up on day by day yes but still somewhat unreachable, not entirely ‘here’ as something that I should apparently ‘attain’ much later on in life, which leaves one in a way ‘waiting for’ or ‘wondering’ about what such purpose is supposed to mean, which translates into inaction and lack of direction.

One can also decide to live purpose on a daily basis in the same way that one can take the words ‘I Matter’ and make the changes of habits, patterns, make the necessary decisions and alterations to our day to day and make it more supportive for ourselves. We all know the points we’d like to change about ourselves, and if one doesn’t know, well! That’s an opportunity to start writing out what kind of changes would be great to implement in one’s life.

The awesome thing about this is that in saying ‘I matter’ to me it shortcuts a lot of the perceived ‘processing’ needed in order to change and instead, I can see straight to the point what I need to change, to let go of, to implement, to direct, to ‘dare’ to do, to push myself to move and create, to say things when I feel I should ‘keep quiet’, to transcend the fear to ‘make a move’ and instead do it and see what happens, what opens up, what I can learn about it and the list can go on.

All of these moments are here in our lives, every day and I can now decide to remind myself of ‘I matter’ in order to embrace the potential that is already here as myself/my life/my physical body/my mind/my decisions/my actions and the totality of what I can act upon and yes, invariably of course as a result of doing this affect and create an impact on the rest of the matter that is also here as myself, which is ultimately life, this world, people primarily and the relationships that I decide to create, nurture and grow with along with myself.

Check out the awesome series of recordings that will assist a lot in understanding more about this ‘I matter’ point if you’re the kind of person that like myself and many more have struggled a bit with considering ‘life’s meaning’ and ‘my purpose in life’ – time to simplify it and get our hands on the matter or on the matters at hand

 

I’ll continue sharing more of a personal point in coming blogs that opened up within looking at the difference between purpose and ‘I matter’ in practical sense.

Thanks for reading

 

Artwork009 Green


533. Living Passion in Purpose

Next word to explore and see who I am in relation to currently is passion and this word ever since I watched Gian’s video on it, it stuck with me in the sense of what I can consider a livable definition of passion in fact, and I share his vlog here for reference: Passion, You are Your Passion to Change – Desteni Process Support Vlog.

Here it’s my turn to investigate it in relation to living it and making it my expression in who I am in whatever I do, and the first point to investigate is how I have separated myself from this word and making it some kind of ‘superior’ experience – yes, a noticeable energetic experience – that I have in turn given value to, but it doesn’t mean that it is a person living the word passion as self-expression. What does that mean?

Here then it’s about seeing how I’ve been making an experience ‘more’ than who I am and that’s the point to clarify here because it’s not really about having an energetic experience itself as ‘passion’ but redefining it into a word that I express and live in who I am and consequently within whatever I do.

What I may see in some people as passion is more like a driving force of their own purpose or point of motivation that becomes an expression of who they are no matter what they are doing or with whom – now, this is more me placing it into words because I can only observe things based on who I am in relation to it as well, which means that, lol I am already ‘it’ at some level.

This also means that I can get to recognize how I have been living passion to a certain extent within myself and in my life, maybe not in a very consistent manner throughout these years, but I definitely know that when I decide to stand as it and live it, I can become that force of life within myself, a motivation that goes beyond a personal interest, but simply as an outflow or expression or what I’ve defined as a point of passion in my life which is life itself, this process as the ability to be ‘reborn’ into our personal lives and tap into a potential that had been covered up with many layers – in my case – of self-depreciation, lack of self-acceptance and self-recognition, which is why in the first place I have been entertaining such ‘attraction’ idea towards other people, because in a way I didn’t first look within myself to see where and how I am already living such word  – instead of reacting in a subtle manner to another’s expression which may – or may not – be more ‘energy’-related and then making that as something I desire to become within myself, which would be missing out the entire point.

I see that passion is the result of standing within oneself in a consistent manner, it’s like a ‘flame’ that we turn on and keep burning within ourselves in relation to what we decide to stand up for. It expressed physically as a form of intensity in my expression, an enjoyment, a fulfillment within myself as I see myself standing as my potential – or when being in a self-creation process, there’s that ‘driving force’ within me that is not based on getting to ‘the top of the hill’ so to speak, but more so in relation to getting to know who I can really be if I direct myself in every moment of my life to do what I’ve decided to do, to manifest and create the life that I want to create for myself and so for others, as life.

My passion is directly connected to this process of assisting myself and so many others in birthing ourselves as life, of getting to understand ourselves and from doing so, learn to live in ways that better ourselves, our relationships and so the world that we create. That’s been my driving force that I’ve been expressing in several ways, but the most common ones are through direct communication on this process, on the importance of it, the benefits of it and the responsibility we all have to it at the same time, which is about understanding self-creation and self-empowerment in consideration of what’s best for all, our true potential that is always here, waiting for each one of us to light it up and live it in our lives.

From this realization, I take some of Gian’s words to explain how it is in this decision to be an example or stand as an example, integrating these principles of self-honesty, self-creation, self-responsibility, self-trust, self-respect as a result of all of this walk that we then become that passion as ourselves and can ‘pass it on’ to others through one’s living example, which I consider is a meaningful, respectful, dignifying process to do in one’s life and even a privilege as well which entails self-responsibility too in not only ‘getting’ the benefits, but learning to give ourselves back to others that also want to learn to assist themselves to live to their utmost potential.

And this passion as I am living it, is already coming from some years of experience; now is the time where I have to recognize the authority I have onto my own words based on my own experience, my own application, my own dedication, focus and attention to doing this every day of my life for years. And now I am now finding it fascinating that I could be ‘falling for’ an experience of ‘longing’ some kind of perceived ‘passionate expression’ in another that might be appealing to certain personalities or memories within me – but that’s of consciousness.

Who I am and what I live and specifically in the context of what motivates me I can see is nothing else but life for life as life, period. And that to me is quite a ‘pure’ form of passion that may sound abstract for some, but can be read in all of the words and all of the principles I’ve set myself to live within my life over these years as a self-commitment.

I’ve noticed then within this apparent experience of ‘attraction’ toward others that I essentially have to remind myself to first of all look back within me in how I am already living that something that I am kind of ‘being attracted to’ and if so, then I have to debunk the bubble of experience that I am creating in relation to another’s expression and simply let it go for what it is= a feeling reaction. If not, then there’s a word I can work on creating, living and expanding myself on within my own context and reality.

Sometimes I tend to underestimate myself and it is only through writing that I can debunk my own ‘admirations’ and rather look straight and clearly towards myself to realize ‘hey, I’m actually already doing that’ or ‘I have to align this point more in certain contexts in my life’ or sometimes simply learning to embrace another’s expression as it is, instead of reacting in the mind in a sense of ‘desire’ or ‘want’ to ‘own’ it through a ‘relationship’ which is how we tend to operate in our minds, always wanting to be like vampires that can suck the life out of others and ‘own it ourselves’ lol, instead of realizing ‘hey I actually have that life as well, let me work on myself and build my own potential.’

Here thus I take the space to rather see in relation to what do I want to express that passion as myself, besides for example these writings which is where I see it usually is expressed as this force of the words that is aiming at sharing myself and possibly ringing someone’s eyes and ears, it’s a usual intent within me within writing, like ‘passing the flame’ as Gian once explained as well, from personal living example.

And I consider that passion is a word that I tend to forget to live whenever going into any minor ‘low’ within me, upon any subtle judgment, or experience of ‘being hard of myself’ for something, when overthinking in the process of doing something, I essentially have to remind myself living passion, remembering who I really am essentially, not allowing anything less than what I’ve proven to myself I can be and so be my own point of ignition, where I don’t require watching another’s expression to feel like wanting to express myself as that, but I can simply make a decision to express it in the moment, especially in contexts where I am allowing myself to be affected by others to a certain extent.

Those are moments where I can investigate why did I allow myself to go into a ‘low’ upon discussing or meeting that person? What’s behind it? and go back to my self-investigation board to establish self-clarity and then see how I can remain standing within myself as that consistent force regardless of who I am with or what I am being shared about – which is not a point of remaining positive or thinking positive, but rather a decision to stick to the common sensical me, sticking to my potential and so expressing it in who I am in those moments, extending that realization of being able to ‘walk through’ points even if they might seem too much at times.

This way I can embody this statement as: ‘this low is not who we really are, nor this depression or self-devaluing experience, we can be better than that’ and so step back into the passion that I’ve lived and that I yet have to develop and expand in various moments in my day to day, starting with seeing and recognizing myself as my own source of it – not anything or anyone outside of me as an idea, perception or mind-relationship, but rather doing it as self, as a part of the whole

If we all do this, one by one, we will truly get to live and interact with self-fulfilled and passionate individuals that can in turn keep sharing the ways in which we can all stand up and tap into our potential, and share the exact ways to do it, which is precisely what this process at Desteni is for: learning how to empower ourselves, how to get to live within our utmost potential, how to establish our principles and how to – most importantly – live them in a practical way in our day to day.

That’s what I decide to do and live – and in turn, get to appreciate other beings that can be equally passionate, without interfering with it in desiring or wanting that, because I can remind myself I am already living that, I embrace another’s expression and be grateful for who they are, and that’s part of the ‘shared passion’ for each other as living beings I’d say – no fuzzy attraction experiences any longer.

Thanks for reading.   

 

 

    

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


529. Changing Human Relationships Starts With Ourselves

 

“When pondering the meaning of right human relations it is also helpful to conceive of the principle of sharing as a great social physician or planetary psychotherapist, one that has the power to heal in almost every possible way—by feeding the hungry and curing the diseased, mending broken families and restoring mental health, rebuilding communities and nurturing individuals to regain their confidence and creativity, and so on without end. So if you want to heal yourself as an individual or as a group, advocate for the principle of sharing to be implemented into world affairs and serve humanity by heralding Article 25 with every ounce of energy you have, thus decentralising yourself from the disease called separation and playing your part in establishing a new earth based on right human relations. –Mesbahi, Mohammed (2016). Heralding Article 25: a people’s strategy for world transformation. See more at: http://www.sharing.org/information-centre/reports/heralding-article-25-peoples-strategy-world-transformation#part v

Recently I got this book as a gift from Sonja Scherndl who was very kind in considering I would find a lot of common ground with the author’s proposal and our perspective as Equal Life Foundation and after completing it, I realized it is so that it’s the first book that I can most relate to from recent articles or books I’ve read on the topic about world economics based on the principle of sharing and satisfying what we define as Fundamental Human Rights which are in fact the basic needs that have to be covered for every human being as part of dignifying each other’s livelihood, giving to others what we’d like to be assured to receive and so create a genuine upgrade of our humanity.

I found the voice of the writer something I can relate to at times almost word by word in many aspects, specifically on topics I’ve written over the years on the subject of Human Rights and our proposals as the Equal Money System and Living Income Guaranteed; as well through my personal investigation and application of the principles of Oneness and Equality as Life, which is what the author also addresses as being part of considering ourselves as a One Humanity as well.

I was also glad to see the reference to ourselves as human beings being the origin and source of the problem – not the system, not the ‘isms’ like capitalism and the rest of it – but instead the kind of relationships that we’ve built with one another which in turn, have created the nature of the markets, the economic systems and the nature of the dog-eat-dog current form of capitalism, which is in fact a reflection of ourselves: who we are within creating the without.

Something that I’ve discovered for myself and have shared in previous blogs is that the economic problem is not really a structural problem or a matter of fixing a faulty system ‘out there’ only – it’s in fact the clear reflection of the very separation – also mentioned as such in the book – that we’ve created from one to another, and the general disregard of our equality with every other living part that is coexisting in this world, which means we are not only ‘interconnected’ but are in fact one and the same, which the author brings through with an awareness of this same source we all come from. Therefore we have to also consider and look at all the reasons why we have justified, excused and reasoned all the abuse that we’ve imposed onto each other to create inequality, poverty, consumerism, miseducation, in order to understand the source of the problem as ourselves. Meaning we have to also look at how we have all been co-creators of the problem and how this is all coming from the current nature of ourselves as humans in our thought, word and deed.

Now, interestingly enough as much as I find the reading of the book an essential walk through many of the topics that would be eye opening for people that are starting to investigate alternative solutions for world-problems, I also find the one solution proposed by the author as something that could be redefined or taken one step further close to home.

Mesbahi speaks of every human being understanding the importance of the principle of sharing the world’s resources as an expression of common sense and as a primary source for peace, for eradicating poverty, of getting out of competitive and selfish motives and in turn get to heal ourselves from how we’ve essentially conditioned each other to a survival-mode that has affected the totality of our expression and so of our human relationships. The solution proposed is to create worldwide manifestations demanding to governments to fulfill the Article 25 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which interestingly enough also Sonja and Anja Askeland – who I have had the opportunity to interview before – wrote and published about today a linkage of it to the Universal Basic Income, which I’m very glad to read about and the article is here: Article 25 and a Universal Basic Income: the perfect match

However here I also propose something else beyond only the consideration of staging mass protests demanding these fundamental living rights.

I’ve concluded from my personal research that we require to also learn to live the principles of Oneness and Equality as Life at a very practical and realistic level in our day to day living, starting within ourselves in our own minds and in the way that we live and interact with everyone and everything around us. Because sharing is an expression, an outflow of a deeper realization and understanding which Mesbahi outlines in the book and he expresses that it is not his position to exactly say ‘how’ to create this change at an individual level in this book, which I found interestingly enough is precisely what we are focusing on directly not only as proponents of world-system solutions, but as individuals that have also committed to propose ways, tools of self-support that we are applying in order to embody these principles through practice, walking a personal process of genuinely living the principles that we also see in common sense would be best for everyone to embrace in their own hearts and minds.

What I discovered throughout my active participation and engagement throughout various proposals essentially exemplifying this principle of sharing, of making of money a rights-giver rather than a source of discord and inequality, of providing support to everyone starting with the most forgotten ones – is that the biggest resistance came not from defining all of it as impossible or utopic – but rather from people that literally would express their refusal to give to another what has been given to all of us unconditionally by the Earth. The reasons, excuses and justifications I’ve read throughout these past 9 years of actively having engaged in discussions with various people upon presenting these ideas various methods around the web were that “it won’t ever happen because there’s always going to be inequality, there’s always going to be someone making more, we cannot really ‘just share’ and there’s always going to be someone stepping forth into greed, cannot dream of equality because it doesn’t exist” and the list of excuses goes on.

That’s where I realized that along with the various movements which are very much getting into a peak currently in relation to Universal Basic Income, Share The World’s Resources – whose founder is Mesbahi – and many other independent organizations whose principles are similar, we also need to emphasize the importance of this role of Education that is also framed as an essential process of human change in our world by him:

“Thus if there appears to be an irreconcilable conflict between opposing political ideologies, the lasting solution lies not in the victory of one ‘ism’ over another, but must be found in what can unite us all through a universal acceptance of our shared humanity—which ultimately requires a new education into the true nature of the inner Self.

There is nothing sentimental or naïve about these suggestions as such an attitude to human relationships has the potential to transform society once a bulk of the population is educated to think and become aware of themselves in a more spiritual, heart-engaged and inclusive way. “

– See more at: http://www.sharing.org/information-centre/reports/heralding-article-25-peoples-strategy-world-transformation#part v

 

I certainly agree that we need to re-educate ourselves, to learn how to live and embody these principles not only of sharing, but also of considering at all times what is best for all, of developing and inculcating within ourselves an integrity, self-respect, self-honesty, self-responsibility and a consideration towards all other beings as oneself. This is by far the hardest process that I see we are already engaging in within this world, because we have allowed ourselves to be hardwired with all the opposites to all these words that I just mentioned and that could in turn create the world we all would like to live in: a world of sharing, of prosperity through cooperation, of expressing ourselves to our utmost potential, of assisting each other, of actual prosperity and expression. However, as I mentioned above, by far the biggest resistance and the biggest obstacle to do this resides in our very own minds, our very own current human nature, which is the one point that we have to find ways to open up the majority of people’s eyes to understand this, the majority that are still very much secluded in a ‘my space’ world, where only me-myself-and-my-interests exist.

What I’ve been dedicating myself for the past 9 years is precisely deprogramming all of these ingrained aspects that led me to become a person that might have cared about the world and wanted to change the world, but wasn’t willing to look back at myself to see where and how I had to take responsibility for my very own thoughts, habits and ways of living that were in fact not representing the ideals that I wanted to create out there in the world. I’ve learned that if we really want to change the nature of the world system, we have to at the same time work within ourselves to fix and create what we’d like to see out there, we have to start with ourselves, with our immediate relationships, with the choices we make on a daily basis.

Here, what I would add as an extra chapter to this educational book is adding the necessity of embodying these principles of sharing, of regarding each other as equals, of working with our own patterns of selfishness, greed, irresponsibility, competition, hatred and lack of consideration for others as a primary point of self-accountability in this process of transforming the way that we share this world and so share the world’s resources, of which from my perspective sharing resources would be a natural outflow to do if we first work to integrate the common sensical principle in each one of our minds, which surely can be done through reading this book and the many other proposals with similar views, while also verifying how it works in your own life and community.

I see it as a within and without process where we cannot wait for an education system to upgrade itself and start teaching these principles – we have to start being them, applying them, being the trail blazers that in turn as parents can raise children that are already living in family and community environments where the principle of sharing is ‘the way to live’ and do not know of ‘the ways of the old world’ who can in fact become the future of the world. This is particularly something I’ve been witnessing – from afar – with people in our community who are having children that are also now learning the new ways of a real human-kindness, the kind of people that we need to create a future that is embodying the principles of oneness and equality as life, of self-responsibility, of sharing, of being stable and common sensical human beings, of considering other beings as themselves, of being that One Humanity and so living the principles of sharing as the only way to live with one another as equals.

Therefore, I agree that the more we speak of solutions proposed along the lines of sharing in equality, the more we can start opening up possibilities that may not have existed before at the eyes of a majority – while at the same time also considering that the door towards a systemic change can also start from developing a personal awareness of who we are and what our role individually is in the context of life on Earth. This means, starting from a process of self-awareness to investigate and learn to see what we’ve become in our minds, in our lives, in our being and so walking a process to align our thoughts, our perspectives, our stance as human beings toward the principle of oneness and equality as life, of sharing in equality, of regarding others as ourselves, of self-responsibility, self-honesty, self-awareness so that with both changes taken in our hands within and without, the actual process of world change manifests not only as a ‘changed system,’ but also as a result of deciding to stand up within ourselves to do what’s best for all –  and align to the way of life as it is and shall be, which I agree with Mesbahi it is an inner-process to learn the way of the One Humanity – Oneness And Equality – and a challenging one based on my personal experience, yet it is essential if we are to take part in the new world, because we have to be the ones that place the first stones to create it, and leave a first great set of steps for generations to come.

So, I recommend to anyone this book, while considering what I share in this blog, to not forget about our day to day living which defines who we are and what we create in our world. To consider this individual process of being able to assist and support myself and many others to integrate the way of life within our day to day living, the way of self-honesty, of self-forgiveness in order to create and reach our utmost potential individually and collectively.

The only difference is I am deciding to focus form the within towards the without currently based on my personal expertise and awareness at the inner-level, yet the result is intended to be the same: creating a world that’s best for all, that can be a platform for life creation for the first time in our human existence.

I can agree this book represents what I and many more are considering very obvious and common sensical to do, but I do challenge and suggest everyone to share this kind of books with people that are generally sceptic about these topics, about changing the system, about distribution of resources as a human right – so that people can get a comprehensive view of it including a very personal purpose that I see myself and many more in this world can align to in relation to the ways to change ourselves and this world, but we need to keep expanding awareness on all of these possibilities to people that are not yet seeing the common sense of this, and so share things like this book, blogs, vlogs and any piece of media that is creating an awareness of the potential we all have to change this world through our very own change of mind and participation in these principles.

We are the ones that have this window of opportunity to wake up and do something to change things, and we don’t have to wait for these massive manifestations happening on a daily basis either, we can and also have to start within ourselves, learning to live these principles of oneness and equality, changing the nature of our human relationships and changing the nature of ourselves in our thought, word and deed, it’s the way of Jesus’ message as Mesbahi also explains, and I couldn’t agree more, that’s what we are all here to learn and live, because it’s now or never.

Thanks for reading

You can find the whole text of the book available at:

http://www.sharing.org/information-centre/reports/heralding-article-25-peoples-strategy-world-transformation

 

To watch the series of interviews conducted on topics related to Living Income, Fundamental Human Rights, Alternative Systems please visit:

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519. From Fear of Speaking up to Doing So

Or how to realize that those things that we fear the most and prevent doing in our lives hold a key to our self-honesty and self-creation

One of the things that I feared doing was speaking up to people that I had been in a relationship with and I feared doing it because of fearing losing the person – and guess what would happen? I would end up ‘losing the person’ as in ‘losing the relationship’ because of not directing myself to be honest with the person and expose, explain what I would see was going on within them, within myself and so within the relationship – I kept quiet instead and that became a great source of regret for me in the past, because over the years I realized how harmful it was to be aware of what others were doing to themselves – and within it, what I was also accepting and allowing within myself – and not stand up for what makes sense to address in order to change, to become people with integrity and self-respect.

Therefore one of the things that I committed myself to do in ‘the next’ partnership was to speak up, and put aside the fears of doing so and for once and for all step out of that particular fear. Well, I have to say that I did live up to this and didn’t do it that well at first – at times I would still speak up with emotions, at times I would speak up plainly about things I was assuming and not cross-referencing with reality facts, sometimes I was also too lenient to finally speak up, however I eventually learned to first stabilize my reactions, work with them in self-responsibility so that then I could remove all form of blame towards another and simply speak up what I was aware of and cross-reference it, open it up to see if what I was seeing was in fact so or not.

With practice and fine tuning within myself, I did manage to speak up in a relative stable yet direct manner, with a certainty within myself that even if that very moment of speaking up challenged the whole relationship, I still decided to do it, because I reminded myself of how I had compromised myself before in similar situations. I knew that I had to speak up now or remain living in a point of self-compromise and eventual regret. I chose self-honesty and yes, it’s not nice, not pretty, not satisfying for my mind and self-interest – but is exactly what I had to do when deciding to stand as the life that I am learning to respect in myself and others.

What I’m learning and corroborating is that we have to actually challenge those fears and walk through what we would fear saying or doing because of fearing unleashing a ‘worst case scenario’ or what at times one would like to perceive as a ‘nightmare’– but I knew that if I compromised again in not speaking up ‘this time around’ and actually contribute to create a point of change that can assist myself and another to realize ‘what we are doing to ourselves’, I would have thrown to the trash all of these years of preparing and telling myself that ‘I should have spoken up’ in the past, and that ‘I would speak up next time’. This time around, I have been able to ‘pull up m pants’ as they say – even if I wear none, lol – and stand on my self-honesty.

This is something that I can remind myself of every day and be clear within me of where I stand, what I accept and allow in my life and also, allowing myself to let go of my self-interest – manifested as ‘fears’ – and instead contribute to do what is best for us all when facing consequences for our actions, which I consider is the only possible genuine way to learn more about the ways we have compromised our lives and that of others.

This is what’s commonly known as ‘tough love’ and I have definitely been too lenient at times, too ‘supportive’ to a point where it’s not really assisting the other person to walk on their own, too protective at times when trying to prevent someone from walking over their own creation, too ‘considerate’ when trying to ‘save’ another from themselves and this I’ve proven to not be the best way to approach the notion of ‘support’ – instead, with time I realized that even if we have to walk through our ‘biggest fears’,  deciding to live my self-honesty is something I can live with, regardless of the tantrums I might attempt to throw in my mind.  By doing what’s common sensical to do = what’s best for all involved, I can stand at the ‘end of time’ and see that it was what was needed for a situation to actually improve, for ourselves to actually wake up from our mind-slumber and learn and understand what it means to be creators of our lives in their totality.  

Sometimes it can be sad when we have to walk through our own created consequences and some might be harsh ones that ultimately are the only ways I’ve seen can assist us to dismantle our dishonesties, our lies, our points of compromise, our points of dishonesty – while also knowing that with sufficient self-work assist oneself to stand up from it all and develop some real integrity and self-support, learn from it and stand up strengthened.  This is the one point that I’ll continue to work on because there is still a sense of ‘sadness’ that comes with having to face consequences, after seeing the potentials for the best – but again I repeat to myself: potential is everywhere, in each one of us, and yes we can foresee and project magnificent outcomes for each one of us ‘as a potential,’ but working to create it individually, for ourselves – not for another, not for ‘something’ separate from ourselves – is the actual challenge and the real test of where we stand in our lives, as individuals, as self-creators.

In the end it’s also about realizing that sometimes consequences are our best teacher and walking through them with integrity, self-responsibility and humbleness is the best way to then give the next steps in our lives, by learning from our mistakes, our choices, our decisions and prevent future similar situations, and that’s something we can only do for ourselves individually and keep walking the journey to life, waking up with and going to bed every day with the only person that we have the power to genuinely change in all aspects we see is needed: ourselves.

This means that speaking up ‘towards another’ is not the real point here, but this is in fact an outflow of being able to stand up within myself first and speaking up to my own mind and strengthen my own self-honesty and I consider this is the exact path to honoring our lives, even if it seems ‘fearful’ to our minds: we have the ability to transcend and work through those fears to then at some point in time be able to look back and thank ourselves for standing in self-integrity and self-honesty.

Thanks for reading

 

Suggested Interviews for further support:


  1. Compromising for Love (Part 1) – Relationship Success Support


  2. Compromising for Love (Part 2) – Relationship Success Support

 

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492. We Are All The Wall

Or how to stop the wars about walls and rather focus on taking responsibility for the source of the problems that cause them to exist.

A few people have sent me information and documents as well as asked for my personal perspective on what’s my perspective as a Mexican – living in Mexico – on Trump’s executive order to ‘Build the wall’ that he promised to all of his supporters during his electoral campaign, therefore I’ll share some of my points of view here.

First of all, I’ve shared in previous blogs about my decision to not bash other people in positions of power such as presidents (Read Let’s Make Us Focus .On .Our .Lives. Again!) and I’ve lived up to that point with both my country’s president – and actually have had a few words with people that constantly bash him and make of his bashing a form of national sport – as well as with the new ‘human piñata’ for Mexicans, which is Donald Trump where now Mexicans have interestingly enough gathered around in this 4-day old renewed sense of Nationalism that started emerging in people’s phones and social media participation based on now having something/someone to fight and stand united against and that is the perception of Trump’s wall as a discredit to Mexicans, a bashing of Mexicans – which Mexicans have taken personally now reacting in this sudden ‘solidarity’ which I would have very much liked to see during the first week of this year in course where we were all more divided and against each other than ever, with all the lootings, protests against government and by the government… but now it’s as if Trump’s Wall has become a reason for Mexicans to unite, though for only all the nice-sounding reasons, but still failing to acknowledge the responsibility to look back at the collective mess we’ve created as our country, which is predictable considering that us as human beings like to focus on all the nice things but always react to and resist to look at ‘all the bad’ stuff, the ugly and very real aspect of our truth and reality – individually and collectively as the world system.

What do I mean with this?

As a disclaimer and allocating myself in what I’m about to share. Throughout this process I’ve learned to identify myself as a human being in this world, not as a ‘Mexican’ which means I have throughout my life walked a process to dissociate myself from the constructs, beliefs, main views or cultural associations of what a Mexican is supposed to be like. This is not to set myself apart, but this is exactly the same self-deconstruction that I would do living anywhere else in the world, where I’ve come to understand all notions of nationality and its ramifications like patriotism or nationalism which I equate in the same way as racism, religious ideologies or political inclinations that create a division between people. All of these ‘labels’ stand for and as separation between human beings, therefore the identification of myself as one single ‘nation’ to me would be a disservice to the principles I am standing for/as which are that of oneness and equality, who we really are as life beyond our characters, our personalities, our cultural (mental) biases and the rest of the opinions that we’ve transformed into religious-political factions that we’ve turned into ways to separate and conquer us.

I share this bit so that I leave it clear that by now it should not be expected that I will take any ‘side’ with anyone here –  otherwise I would be recreating the problems that we all precisely should be focus on stopping in this world: the continuous ‘siding with’ groups/nations/identities that invariably create friction and conflict among each other, where we lose track of how we are ALL collectively creating all the problems in the world that we are at the same time constantly fighting and complaining to resolve – yes, paradoxical in nature, but we haven’t yet realized how we are creating the very world we live in based on each word in the nature of fighting and spite that we’ve accepted as part of who we are in our lives.

So, what I see from the creation of the wall is nothing else but a way to contain a consequence that interestingly enough, most of Mexicans currently united in a sentiment of ‘renewed nationalism’ have failed to have the common sense to admit and look at, to rather question HOW we’ve come to this point where someone has to create a wall, a physical border to prevent more people from going illegally to the US and WHY it is that so many millions have decided to leave Mexico in order to have a better lifestyle than here. This has been an all-timer question that I’ve heard many people blame since the nineties to the NAFTA, but immigration has been going on way before that which is quite obvious in the sense that people would see it as a very easy thing to do to have the same kind of jobs they would have here in Mexico yet getting paid a whole lot more for it if opting for the American Dream, which is also a misnomer because there’s millions of stories of suffering and abuse as well, and I won’t go into that because there’s thousands of articles and documentaries on this situation as well. Therefore it’s not like it’s all rosy and nice in there, even more so there’s several accounts of many succumbing to or resorting to become criminals to make a living, which is also not acceptable. I’ve personally met several people lately that have come back since it wasn’t such a great deal for them anymore to be living in the US and are instead having decent jobs here, which I find cool since they went there and lived ‘their dreams’ only to realize the kind of values that opting for the ‘life of the riches’ lead you to – which in any case is a life lesson and interesting process for many of us humans that tend to only look at money as the whole drive of one’s existence.

Now, I don’t blame people from following such aspiration to have more money than they would in Mexico, but it is certain that in all of those millions that have left the country, the workforce that could have instead stayed here to build a prosperous country in various forms/ways have gone to take menial jobs to ‘the other side’ as we call it here. So, what happened is that only money came back here to Mexico, but most males in little towns in this country would leave to the US, leaving huge gaps in communities across the country as a result of this, creating a ‘norm’ for many youngsters to only be waiting to be old enough to be able to go to ‘the other side’ and make a lot more money than here, which means: we failed as a society to create an economy that gives opportunity to everyone to have a dignified living.

So, it’s quite ludicrous to consider that Mexicans or Mexican Government can get offended about the creation of a wall as a way to stop a consequential outflow of decades and decades of complete negligence to create sufficient economic stability and incentives to make people stay and instead use people’s labor and dedication to rebuild communities, especially in agriculture, to create more associations that could in one way or another sort out agreements with governments in order to prevent the mass immigration to the US and also strengthening the Mexican economy that will now be probably more affected by this bilateral disagreement going on between the US and Mexico, turning it into yet another unfriendly stance that is in no way something supportive to have between neighbors, especially considering it is ‘THE’ United States of America on the north side, so, we have to own our creation: we did it to ourselves, bit by bit.

Therefore, I am not at all in disagreement nor in favor of the wall either – again, won’t take sides and refuse to do so because that is what keeps this ‘battle’ going on without solutions.

The last thing I can do here is share this perspective and suggest a few things to everyone in Mexico or outside of it that may be standing with an interesting ‘fervor’ to ‘save Mexico’ and ‘stand united with Mexico’ or ‘be offended along with Mexicans’ to rather stop the sudden nationalism and realize that we should have done this a LONG time ago in the sense of actually deciding to build this country back on its feet and become the people that can stand as individual leaders – all together – with transparency, honesty and integrity which means Everyone, as ALL citizens would have to live by and stand by these principles, as well as in self-responsibility. Because we have been masters at pointing out corruption, being OK with corruption at all levels of our societies and being the first in line to mock presidents and create jokes out of any corruption- or narco-case gone wrong – I was once there, I did that many times, but I can stand my word. I don’t indulge into that at all any longer.

Therefore I’d rather ask: how many of us are actually looking within ourselves to recognize our responsibility to the creation of all the problems faced in this country and whether we would stand also ‘In Equality’ within self-honesty and self-responsibility to own and recognize our creation, to acknowledge the fact that we’ve all built this wall by accepting and allowing our economy to be not good enough to cater for proper livelihoods in the lives of those people that were the most hardworking, noble and wise when it comes to an essential field of our economy: agriculture. We’ve shot ourselves in the foot, therefore we have to stop the tantrums and why-me/whining at a national level.

As with all things, the only solution I foresee now that this deal of the wall is done is to use it as a lesson to learn from and prevent from creating further consequences from now on. I don’t disagree that people create a sense of unity, but for god’s sake, let’s make it about ourselves, who we are as people – not about ‘Mexican beauties’ like its beaches, best weather and landscapes in the world – but about who we are as individuals, the kind of relationships that we can create in our families, with friends, at work, at our jobs. Becoming honest and integral individuals where we can again trust each other to act responsibly, to do ‘the right thing, that which is best for all’ and to not cheat and do whatever we can to bribe our way to the top.

In this it’s about applying the same as we do with our personal process: it’s about facing consequences and learning to live them the best way possible, making of the consequence a learning process where we can strengthen our strengths and weaknesses while also making sure that we go correcting our core values wherein we can once and for all be a little bit more considerate in terms of ‘following an American Dream’ and whether that was in any way sustainable as a long-time aspiration or desire for generations of humans to come. My take is: it is not. And here I clarify that it is not that I am not wanting prosperity for the people, but I am talking in the specific means in which massive amounts of people have gone to the US to get ‘rich’ or ‘lots of money’ while having to leave their families back here in Mexico, it’s not nice for them nor for the families, most of them would really want to be back here yet we all have been the ones that instead of staying in this country to make it stronger and built with an intent to revive its economy and therefore the living-quality in it, we have opted to run away from it or live off from its worst sources of income like politics or narco-business – we haven’t yet decided to create an economy that can fulfill people’s livelihoods in a best-for-all manner, hence the consequences.

It’s time to see beyond the sentiment of nationalism or ‘uniting against the enemy Trump’ because that breeds more of that which we need to STOP fueling and participating on in this world: hatred, anger, separation, blame, vengeance, racism. I refuse to be part of the millions that rejoice in a false sense of empowerment – instead I decide to remind ourselves of common sense: let’s own our consequences, let’s understand the source and origin of this ‘wall’ which is that of massive immigration that we haven’t been able to prevent by creating a solid economy at home.

So, if we really want to ‘be very Mexicans’ I’d first say, let’s stand in principles that change the nature of what we’ve all become as individuals, starting with stopping the hate, the fight, the spite towards presidents or nations ‘out there’ and instead focus on ourselves, focus on our own lives. There’s nothing to be offended about when we are ALL the creators of walls, because it represents nothing else but the manifestation of our separation as our inability to stand together to create a dignified livelihood for all inhabitants in this world – not only Mexico but everywhere else in this world.

Let’s keep this in mind when seeing the word ‘WALL’ = We ALL Are the WALL – now let’s start breaking down our own inner and outer wars and let’s rather focus on understanding our creation, looking at the origin of the problems and so focus on solutions to sort them out from their root, that’s what we should focus on in our lives right now.

Thanks for reading

 

 The Wall - Mexican Border - Trump - Mexicanism

 

 

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485. Let’s Make Us F.O.O.L. Again!

Or how to point the finger back at ourselves in relation to loving or hating political effigies

 

This morning as I went to buy some tortillas (staple Mexican food) the man that was selling them was listening to the news talking about – yes, you guessed – Trump’s inauguration, the ‘riots and protests’ around the world and in various US cities. As the man was weighing the tortillas he said:

– May I ask you a question?

– Sure – I Said

– Do you think that Trump is crazy?

– No, he just represents in a more uncensored manner the human nature that we all have to change within ourselves

– I don’t think he’s crazy, being different doesn’t make you crazy

– No, he may step out of the usual politics, but he is there to show us back all the points that we need to change within ourselves and focus on that by ourselves.

End of our exchange. All that I’ve seen in the buildup to the US elections is a notorious division in people’s minds about Trump, as if he was meant to be loved or hated to the core. Now, I’d like to explain how I don’t wish to make this in any way a political blog, I’m here to share a perspective that precisely goes beyond the question that I’ve been asked several times already in terms of ‘What do I think of Trump?’ And I will share my perspective here.

At the beginning of his campaign, I did go into sharing one of his statements and calling it something like idiotic or in a similar way, only to then question myself as to what am I creating when praising or bashing any other person? I have walked a similar process with my ‘hatred’ towards the catholic church and another leader that I came to hold in my mind as ‘a despicable human being’ which I had to also walk my process in self-honesty to understand my hatred and realize that I am not in fact doing it ‘toward them,’ but it’s all about what I accept and allow within myself as a relationship or experience that I impose onto others parts of our reality, which is also parts of me. Since then, I’ve been breathing every time that I see this political leader – Netanyahu – giving any orders that I could usually squirm about and instead, breathe and live my self-forgiveness: he is another me, he is part of our consequence, we are all him, he’s playing a role for us to see what we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

This application has worked well, also whenever I would usually walk past a church or see the popes on the media and again ‘squirm’ or recoil within myself – but I can now see, walk past many churches (lots around here) and no longer re-create my own hatred-fixation that served no purpose other than wrecking my own body by becoming hateful, ignorantly so because my hate was never going to change the nature of humanity or of such institutions, only through actually committing myself to change can I do that, and that doesn’t require a single emotion or feeling.

During Trump’s campaign I saw and read how many people loathed him, hated his guts, ‘could not stand him’ but I decided to not participate in the praise or bash, but simply remain observant this time, not jumping into the bandwagon of people that either loved him to death or hated him to his death, literally. I then saw how the purpose of this media and political frenzy was to continue dividing and conquering people. As if it hasn’t been obvious enough – because I’ve been very vocal about it many, many times – this whole political set-up is once again getting people to hope for another person in a role we have created to precisely abdicate our personal responsibility, to change our lives, to be the difference, to be ‘the rebel’ in this case that goes ‘against the establishment’, and I’m definitely keeping an eye on how things develop because to me this Trump presidency can act as a catalyst to finally open full eyes to people that still have ideas of ‘a president being the real change’ and instead of praising or hating one single person to save the world or destroy it, rather for once and for all: Focus On Our Lives.

That spells out the word F.O.O.L. but that’s exactly what we become, fools when we follow the media waves, the political waves that are nothing else but following the same formula applied for thousands of years: create the illusion of choice, divide and conquer, create the idea of a savior and everyone will follow.

Why is this so? Because of our inherent human nature that we’ve created, accepted and allowed, to exist as a follower by default- not a genuine leader. Because we prefer to always abdicate responsibility and blame, instead of taking self-responsibility and assuming the consequences of our actions, regardless of the outcome. Because we like to fight for our limitations, instead of strengthening our strengths, strengthening our weaknesses and helping each other to become better humans every day.

The list can go on. This is why I said to the man this morning that Trump represents very well the human nature that we ALL have to change. Not sure if my words were heard, but that doesn’t matter, because I am aware of our tendency to ‘skip’ the realization that we are all Trump, we are all Netanyahu’s, we are all Hillary, we are all ‘the worst criminals in the history of humanity.’ Now we simply have to accept it, digest what it means and start acknowledging our responsibility to it all.

What I see very relevant to do is to remind ourselves is to grow out of the old, to let go of focusing so much on ‘mainstream politics’ and focus on the politics of the self, of the nature of who we are and have become to acknowledge the very same patterns ‘out there’ in the shape of our politicians and recognize that very same nature of ‘them’ existing within ourselves.

Here, I also look beyond borders. I discuss Trump even if I am a ‘Mexican’ and even if I am ‘supposed to be offended’ or supposed to be ‘hating Trump’ based on how Trump has discussed Mexicans and Mexico in his agenda. I stand clear, I am beyond a label and instead stand as a human being that can discern in common sense what is best for all and what is not. Therefore I can only take the person for the words they say and the actions they live to see how congruent they are, how much of what it is promised or spoken of becomes a reality and how much is simply part of the usual show, and from there see what are the creations and consequences of such actions. Therefore if someone would like to believe I should condemn his words or actions, I remain clear in my stance and will test out where it gets me: I cannot ‘bash’ or judge, I can only propose and create solutions that I can start living within myself and in my sphere of influence. That’s then stepping out of the ‘battle’ loop and into self-creation.

Whichever the outcomes are, I cannot judge him or anyone for that matter, no one ‘president’ will ever change anything, we all have to do that change within and by ourselves, each one of us and stand beyond the need for these fictional constructions as dinosaurs of the past, of a master-slave relationship that definitely has to crumble for the fallacy it always has been. So my perspective is that Trump’s presidency along with various ‘radical’ movements around the world can create a catalyst to for once and for all dismantle the deception that the notion of government as ‘authority’ represents. We will be giving a possibly very tumultuous and chaotic step beyond our limitations – as they say: growing pains and we as humanity definitely have to break down all illusions, shatter everything that does not stand within the principles of equality and what’s best for all – and so focus on the reality that we CAN create one by one, in living principles, without the need of a ‘master’ to guide us or save us. We have to stand in self-leadership.

I had refrained myself from talking about these topics – yet again – to me it felt like repeating myself for the 1000th time, but I’ll say it until these words are etched in our being: we are all equal and one, we all are living beings with the potential to be the best that we can in each of our contexts and positioning, we are the ones that can decide for ourselves whether we are part of the creation of the new or remain stuck in the divide and conquer left-right, blue-red, white-black paradigms of separation, of human descent of the past.

I wrote to someone in an email yesterday: let’s make the world great again, starting with ourselves! Because that’s the ultimate reality: the mirrors (me-errors) of political institutions, of ‘leaders’ and these structures of ‘power’ need to be dissolved within our minds first of all, no matter if they still remain ‘in place’ in our societies for another 100 years: we decide what we give power to in our minds, we decide whether we want to be part of the problem (old politics paradigm, black vs. white, red vs. blue, left vs. right, rich vs. poor) or do we decide to give one step beyond what is presented as ‘the ways of the world’ and stop focusing on all of that, to instead focus on ourselves, creating the lives and living the principles that are best for all.

So, what’s my stance? I choose to not judge Trump or any other political leader that a lot of people seem to get a kick out of mocking. Mocking is mocking, hatred is hatred no matter how we may want to justify it or believe such experience within us towards others is ‘well deserved.’ No, it’s not, because it’s not about ‘them’ but always about ourselves in what we accept and allow as words and experiences Within ourselves.

My personal process thus far has been of being an observer this time, not taking sides in pro or anti but simply taking the man as another me, another human being and as I practice applying on everything: investigating all things and keeping what’s best – which is a far more supportive approach than the bashing that seems to go to the left and right of the spectrum at least in the country I live in, and based on what’s going on in social media, the divide and conquer is running ‘as expected’ because WE all have participated in generating such polarity, while forgetting that’s the way we get trumped, we get conquered.

Consider seeing Trump as our reflection, as our greatest teacher as any other human being can be no matter ‘who’ they are or ‘what their position is’, he only gets the attention based on his hierarchical position, but you can surely do the same reflection with every single person in your life and around you, to see how we are judging them or generating any contempt towards them to instead ask: what are ‘they’ revealing about ourselves and how can I make sure I no longer create this inner-conflict and separation ‘towards that person’ by deciding to align my relationship to those aspects/parts of that person that I have reacted to, and instead see directly where am I living out the exact same patterns that I criticize in others. That’s one simple step into self-honesty.

Will many be willing to do this? After all of these years, I bet few will dare to because we still prefer to keep ourselves in a good light as a ‘good person’ and not question our own problems, our conflicts and admit that such contempt, hatred or antagonism toward anything in this world is in fact revealing something about ourselves that we are in conflict about and have not understood as who we have become yet.

I challenge everyone that holds dear the ‘right to protest’ to question what ‘protesting is’ and if it is in fact an honorable way to develop oneself as a self-responsible human being, one that is willing to acknowledge manifested consequences and stand as a living example of correcting those same problems within ourselves first, rather than looking outside to seek culprits and blame, which is by far and based on my personal research, a very ingrained pattern that is overlooked as an actual self-dishonesty based on the righteousness it is held by, which is nothing else but an ego experience.

That’s why I’ve been so keen to write about the actual nature of ourselves as human beings as a key point to admit to ourselves if we are to Ever in fact stand our ground to acknowledge and live our potential. We cannot grow the best and the new unless we realize the crookedness that exists in all of us – no one’s saved from this – and to learn to understand and work with the flaws, the conflicts, the problems, the destructive nature we’ve become in order to no longer judge it or judge others for it – hint, stopping using some supposed ‘authority figures’ as human piñatas – and instead, take that judgment back to ourselves to see who are we really in fueling those emotional experiences within us.

I saw videos of protests and in stability I simply acknowledge that it will still take time for humanity to outgrow the reactive, tantrum-nature that we haven’t matured from just yet… some of us are slowly but surely standing up from it, so it’s up to us to ensure that the new generations can stand in a much more independent and self-responsible individuality that is at the same time contained within the consideration of the whole as one and equal. Living principles are the key, considering what’s best for ALL in fact (not just those that we see as ‘our country’ or ‘our race’ or whichever other delusional frontier/limitation we create in our minds) is a living principle to practice in a plethora of ways.

These are all steps to go unraveling the illusion of separation, which at the same time reveals to us the potential of ourselves as creators. So, time to focus on self-creation through self-investigation, self-honesty, developing Humbleness to embrace even those we’ve labeled as ‘the worst of the worst’ as parts of ourselves as well that reveal ‘where we are’ as humanity, so we cannot just go and develop ourselves to be these wonderful beings and ‘forget about the world.’ It’s about communal ‘awakening’ for a lack of better word, but it’s not about seeking justice or hope for some other ‘king of fools’ to do the job, it’s about self-responsible living creation that we are all capable of directing in our lives.

Let’s do it and stop participating in the divide and conquer, thank you.

 

Check out this (still) very relevant video

Know Your Candidate: Trump and Hillary Revealed

 

 Point the finger back to self

 

Learn how to stand as your own authority:


479. Making an Impression

Or how to redefine the process of desiring to make an impression in self-interest to making an impression as an expression of what’s best for all

 

There was a very supportive audio that brought up a relevant word for me to look at and that’s ‘impress’ and impression, where the question was brought up of investigating who we are and where we stand in relation to this word.

I’ve realized that there is this existent undercurrent and constant intent within me of wanting to leave an impression, a ‘mark’ on a person no matter how menial or profound our paths or interactions are. That’s me then looking at creating an impression upon them, which nowadays relates more to in any possible way create an opening for others to see things a little bit more different in life, where I can possibly plant a seed to question ourselves more, to desire to learn more about ourselves as human beings – this is based on the kind of person I am creating as myself, a person that can actually have something meaningful to always share whether through words, actions, or sheer presence, that’s the kind of ‘impression’ I’d like to develop as an expression of myself. I have to admit it can become a ‘drive’ in me that likes to dig into the deeper dimensions within individuals whenever I get the chance to do so, and be vulnerable myself because I also see that ‘masking’ ourselves through pretension in wanting to be accepted or liked through lies/deception/masks is doing nothing more than recreating the false-sense of ‘individualities’ that we’ve taken as a normal human trait, which are all based on preferences, likes, personalities, cultural influences and the rest of it that are nothing else but disguises, ‘tags’ that we’ve adopted in order to ‘differentiate’ ourselves from one another.

But even if this ‘drive’ seems supportive, I also have to be prudent and moderate because sometimes I can get a bit out of hand with being a bit too unconventional in situations where others might not be entirely understanding ‘where I am coming from ‘and that can cause a ‘wrong impression’ that would take some time to walk through with others, and sometimes there are no possibilities or ‘second opportunities’ to do so – therefore, I have to remind myself of moderating myself, my expression, being patient in considering others as well, yet without compromising myself either, but developing the real me as an expression that stands in support of myself and so possibly stand as an inspiration or example for others to consider doing the same as well.

I’d like to make a case of looking at the possibilities and ability we have of leaving an impression on others that is more meaningful in the sense of ‘who we are’ as human beings, our substance – not our disguise, our masks, what we look like or wear or what we ‘carry around’ with us – but allow our own thoughts, words and actions speak for themselves. That’s the kind of person that I’ve been working on creating as myself, but this wasn’t always ‘the way’ it’s been.

I also have had and still walk through the other programming in the word ‘impress’ where there was almost an inherent experience in me where I saw myself also as having a potential to ‘impress’ or ‘be naturally charming’ which would then create a form of benefit with other people – but even as subtle as it was, it became also a reason to deliberately challenge my own image and do something a bit more ‘radical’ that could put to test this aspect of myself based on image. I shaved my head and then have tested out who I am when I am not relying on a sense of ‘beauty’ to present myself to others – or any other artifices – but keep it as simple and natural as can be. This is not me making a statement that it is superficial to have hair or do makeup or anything like that, I did believe some of that at some point but I have decided to not compare or judge others, this is about me and a particular path I am walking in a very personal way when it comes to how I have decided to present myself, which in my starting point and view is a way to ‘get past’ the appearance –even if we can’t ever get ‘rid’ of an appearance per se, we can decide to challenge it in ways that are not harmful or hurtful ‘towards others’ but a way to test oneself, and to me shaving my head has been one of them, plus letting go of a desire for recognition at the same time at an egotistical level, but more in constantly letting go of any pretense and just be, which is quite a challenge at times and it’s more of a fine balance between all of these points that becomes a constant practice.

Talking about ‘desiring to impress’ others from a point of inferiority in my past. I tried to impress people that I was interested on having a particular relationship with, which meant my whole starting point toward them was of desire, of seeing or comparing myself to them and assessing I was ‘inferior’ therefore, I had to ‘impress’ others through – in my case – knowledge and information in order to be liked or accepted by particular people. This includes personality traits that I believed would be able to ‘be liked’ by males particularly and of course this led me to live more for ‘others’ than for myself. There were times where I got so ‘sucked into’ a relationship where I lost my sense of individuality and my own life, as I was living for others, upgrading my personality ‘based on others’ preferences’ and desirable traits. This is definitely Not the way to live, it becomes an experience of being ‘racing’ towards something all the time, fearing losing that one person or ‘thing’ that one is getting/obtaining through constantly having to ‘impress’ or ‘keep impressing’ to maintain a particular relationship.

This was exhausting, not only for me but because I’d see the other person would also fall into the same game and I pondered why we were believing that we just ‘weren’t enough’ for each other… that’s the kind of relationships that of course have to come to an end because we are not being self-honest with oneself in who we really are and being vulnerable in rather acknowledging each one’s flaws and weaknesses in order to strengthen them in each other as a form of support or natural outflow of being in a supportive relationship. That becomes a richer process and it is definitely liberating to create relationships where we share ourselves as we are, without any pretense, without trying to be something that we are not, because what do we know if we transform ourselves for the sake of ‘a relationship’ with a particular person? We are not living for ourselves, we are entirely existing in a constant inferiority spot that becomes a constant experience of fear, of jealousy, of comparison if one is not yet valuing oneself as an equal to that other individual.

Therefore the whole desire to ‘impress’ in itself already rings an alarm that we can use as a flag-point to instead ask ourselves: where am I perceiving myself as ‘not good enough’? Where and toward who am I comparing myself when believing that I must ‘impress them’ and beat other competition, so that I can be the ‘chosen one’ in this situation or within a certain relationship? Why am I allowing myself to compromise who I am for the sake of creating a relationship with a person? And then, pushing oneself to be self-honest to see how if we tolerate this starting point of inferiority and wanting to impress others through presenting ourselves as something that we are not, we eventually get caught up in our own lies and the deception eventually catches upon us.

It reminds me of a movie that I watched last year called ‘A Perfect Man’ where this aspiring writer sees himself as incapable of writing a good story that could get published, so he finds the manuscript of a dead person and turns it into ‘his first novel’, which gives him the fame and recognition he was looking for, eventually leading him to have ‘the perfect life’ and his ‘perfect relationship’; but all of the pretense and lies eventually catch up to him as reality knocks the door. That movie precisely left me considering how far we can take ourselves in order to be ‘living’ a lie, and how much of a burden this pretension becomes just because one wasn’t wise enough to rather develop oneself, practice and create the necessary skills in order to eventually master something or get to be ‘good at’ doing or being something as an actual process of self-creation, instead of jumping into a ‘quick fix’ based on self-deception and lies, because of believing that one wasn’t good enough without ‘extra magic’ which in this case I’d refer to magic as all the characters, personalities, ‘extra traits’ that we might act out/fake in order to impress others.

So what I did to walk through from this ‘desire to impress’ from a starting point of self-interest – like acquiring a particular relationship – to the ability to make an impression on others in a natural way or as an expression of who I am is precisely linked to walking this process from consciousness to self-awareness. It is about letting go of one’s self-judgment, fears or insecurities and so desires based on a rather unfortunate common perception of seeing ourselves as inferior, seeing ourselves as ‘not good enough’ – which leads us to constantly devalue who we are and seek ways to be accepted, to be liked, to be loved, to be ‘irreplaceable’ in a relationship – yet, it actually gets oneself in very tricky situations where we may become ‘the perfect fit’ that we’ve modeled ourselves to according to someone’s desires, and in doing so not only do we trap ourselves to ‘always be all of that’ for that one person, but we also cage themselves in becoming entirely dependent on us and believing that all of those ‘desires’ they aspired to obtain are real traits or are ‘realistic’ in the way that one is compromising oneself to portray or act like ‘for another’. This probably happens more often than I am aware of, and what happens is that it turns into an unsustainable relationship – as it was in any case – where one eventually can’t keep up with the ‘act,’ because it’s no different to being inflating a bubble until it pops – and all bubbles have to burst! That’s a fact of life and a very necessary one, because all that ‘inflates’ those bubbles is everything that we fuel within our minds as ideas, beliefs, perceptions, judgments, comparisons, fears, desires that we impose onto ourselves as ‘who we are’ and ‘what defines us.’

So, once that one walks through a process of dropping or shedding these layers of self-compromise, what is left is ‘the real me’ that I can then focus on redefining, on nurturing, growing, expanding as a myself, as the real being that I am that goes beyond a particular image or façade created ‘for others’. In this I have in fact found my own skin and a sense of individuality that I can then honor as myself because it does change everything about oneself when we decide to no longer feed one’s ego in every step that we take in our lives, and instead decide to change ‘what we are all about’ as the kind of person that rather stands as a point of change in relation to what has been accepted as ‘normal’ or ‘normal-lies’ (normalized) that in my particular life and experience, I have definitely taken on the point of ‘rattling the cages of the caged’ as in deciding to physically as a ‘first impression’ have an unusual presentation which is that of shaving my head which I’ve been doing up to this month for 7 years now and it’s been quite assisting to me to be honest considering how much I had also debased myself according to beliefs on my appearance and so challenging myself further with removing one aspect that people would usually associate with ‘beauty’ or ‘sexuality’, I then present myself in a way where I make a clear statement of what I am about, of what I am ‘into.’ This has become a source of conversations throughout the  years that open up different ways to explain why I do it and what is it that I work on or explain my ‘views’ to random people in various contexts. That has been cool but it’s after all not so much about how it is received upon others, because I am also aware that it sometimes might alienate people that might be in their particular process and position a bit judgmental about appearance, but that’s entirely up to each one and it’s understandable as well based on how ingrained our parameters of beauty or presentation extend to.

But beyond making it about facing my image towards people, after all of these years of having worked on various reactions and upon seeing the plethora of reactions it might cause, I’ve learned to let go of focusing on ‘how others see me’ and instead make it my own, see it as my own physical representation of the principles I am dedicating my life to embody and continue expanding on.

I’ve also questioned myself if this makes me too ‘image driven’ at the same time as I know it does create a particular ‘impact’ or ‘impression’ on people at a first glance level, but it is still then only an image – what I however have liked over the years is how this particular self-created difference as a ‘haircut’ or the lack thereof can open up conversations that I would have to get to in a longer period of time with people, sometimes it becomes a catalyst to jump straight to explaining about this process and set of principles if the person is willing to hear the reasoning behind it, but ultimately I do it as myself.

 If we can make an impression or ‘stand out’ in the crowd then, let’s stand out for all the good reasons like being acknowledged as an individual that can be an example of a different way of living, not only in the ‘external ways’ but most importantly in the internal ways, to leave a mark and create an impression that can assist other people in possibly discovering more about ourselves as individuals beyond ‘first impressions’ and facades and the rest of cover-ups we create through our minds that become like layers that we then have to get rid of – one by one – in order to eventually get to the core of ourselves and from there, be able to decide who we really want to be, what kind of person do I want to create as myself based on what is best for all and considering self-honesty.

This is then a much more meaningful and honorable process that in itself is already ‘making a stand’ and requires no particular emphasis to ‘create a good impression’ on others, because our thoughts, words and deeds will speak by themselves, by ourselves, and that’s the kind of expression that will create an impression by default, an expression that I have to keep fine tuning, working on, deconstructing and reconstructing, which is my own impression or imprinting of words, attitudes and actions that are beneficial for me, so that I can stand as the better version of the that can in turn assist many others more to break out of the pretense and inferiority in order to discover the genuine self that exists in all of us as a potential yet to be discovered and developed.

Thanks for reading

 

Suggested audio:

Express  Yourself

 

Learn how to express your genuine self:

 


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