Category Archives: support

628. #EqafeDiscovery: Unlocking Yourself

 

One of my favorite series in Eqafe for Self Support is the one called Quantum Systemization and I’ve been translating it to Spanish recently, which has been quite supportive for me to remind myself of certain aspects that I tend to overlook when walking my process or that simply explains to me the inner workings of my mind and how it translates to experiences in my life.

I was translating this one Unlocking Yourself – Quantum Systemization – Part 71 and upon listening to it I realized how in my previous blog I mostly shared about the understanding, the realizations and in a way walking some of the solutions after I reached out for support in various ways to others in relation to what I experienced within myself and my body, but I didn’t get to describe how the experience was overall while I was completely ‘in it’ and not entirely seeing it, which lasted several months.

This audio talks about how at times we get so blinded by a point, we become it so completely that in one way or another we will get to be approached by some people that might assist us in delineating the thing for us, enabling us to give a name to our experience, or assist in ‘unlocking’ ourselves by giving us some feedback on what we are ‘resonating’ which is how people may see us and perceive us. This is somewhat what happened with me through one of my friends who also walks this process and offered some support which enabled me ‘give a name’ to what I have been experiencing and creating within me.

Giving it a name sounds ‘simple’, but it really assisted me to ‘unlock’ myself as the audio explains, I was able to pin point what I was in fact doing to myself. And yes, one may think ‘oh but aren’t we always aware of what we are doing to ourselves?’ and yes in terms of the actions and experiences, they were always here as myself, but I wasn’t giving it the name that described the precise mechanism that could enable me to see what I was in fact locking myself into – or blinding myself into –  and the shift also happened when she assisted me to place the focus back to ME and not necessarily focusing merely on the symptoms or physical consequences of the experience, which was quite revealing as well as a tendency of getting hooked on the physical discomforts, illness, pains and make it as if we already ‘know’ how we created it, but I was in fact missing out a big factor in the mechanism of it all: myself and what I was holding onto that created this whole pattern within me.

I mentioned about avenge in my previous blog, which was one of the patterns that she suggested as a possible pattern or mind mechanism I was embodying, and another word that came out is judgment. Perhaps I was more aware of the judgment I was holding, but avenge in secondary gain was truly hitting the head on the nail because that enabled me to clearly see what I was doing and how I was acting out this sense of self-punishment for judging something that I have done and thus, becoming it to such an extent that I wasn’t able to see that I was doing it, nor name it. I was aware of some guilt patterns and generally judging myself for it, but the word ‘avenge’ seemed like completely alien to me to begin with, because I don’t consider that the desire for vengeance, revenge or avenge exists within me towards others. But! I definitely could see that I do have this tendency of taking things on me and believing that my own pain, suffering or ‘punishment’ is a way to create any form of justice or compensation/ making up for what I believe I caused as grievance or negative consequences to others, which again was me being blinded by focusing on ‘the exterior’ and not looking back at myself.

So how would this pattern feel before naming it as ‘avenge in secondary gain’? I would think quite frequently that I perhaps should not be so happy or having such a ‘great time’ because I did something that was ‘bad’ and ‘wrong’ in my own moral judgment. This is not a foreign pattern to me, I have mostly lived a life where I believed that I couldn’t simply be fine and optimistic if you will because of the world being suffering and the majority of people not having an ‘ok’ life, so believing that I had to behave according to what others are experiencing.

How else did it feel as I was in it? I felt torn between two worlds, the one that I am living in my current reality, and the one I kept bringing back in my head which usually would cause a ‘spike’ in my pulse, yes, just like when we get anxious about something, but instead of having a continuous acceleration of the heart rate, it would emerge as these ‘upheavals’ so to speak that I would then breathe through, seeing the thought come up and brushed it aside, because I believed that I had forgiven the guilt and that these things should not be coming up again.

The reality is that a part of me accepted this whole back and forth of inner experience as something I had to ‘carry with’ and in a way almost like having to punish myself with this whole experience, as if I had to in fact create some kind of justice ‘in secondary gain’ or ‘in the name of someone else’ for  something that I believe I’ve done and was ‘very wrong and very bad.’ And yes, it felt like haunting me in a series of thoughts, even in my dreams, but I was just not believing I could do something to genuinely resolve it, because I thought I was working on letting go of the guilt, the shame, on embracing the past and my actions and choices.

However, I was still too much focusing on ‘the past’ and the ideas I created about it, and how I kept judging myself for it but at the same time Justifying it as real, as genuine, as ‘that is who I am’ and that’s how I held on to it with a  rather twisted sense of ‘I need to pay for this one way or another’ and at a deeper level within me believing that the way to do it was to essentially not be able to be fully ‘here’, embracing and enjoying my life because of thinking that I wasn’t honest, that I caused harm and so I almost didn’t ‘deserve’ it.  

I let this go by for several months pretending I could be ok and it would eventually fade, but it didn’t. So, in a way yes then the story continues of how I had to face the point at a more physical level. So that’s how upon sharing some of this to my friends, one of them offered to have a chat with one of them, which assisted me a lot in changing the way that I defined and perceived the whole situation, which was very supportive. Then I reached out to physical and medical support including alternative therapies to provide my body with the support that I require as I take on this point to change within me at a mind level.

I particularly don’t see that I resisted being supported, I genuinely appreciate every person that has assisted me to see this. I mostly considered that this sense of ‘punishment’ or ‘suffering’ is something that I HAD to go through, and this is the righteous opinion that I held on to and locked myself into, this acceptance of essentially self-victimization but in a reversed way where I believed myself that I was ‘so bad’ I had to suffer for it and that it would eventually pass once I had paid my ‘penitence.’

Yes, sounds very religious in context, and perhaps this is how it exactly exists within me based on my family lineage, which surely have been devoted people that would have a certain relationship with piousness and punishment to clear one’s sins…. And now it’s my turn to also clean that construct from within me which I wasn’t acting on at a conscious level, but was more ingrained as subconscious and unconscious aspects within me, which involves understanding more of how I got to create and act upon these constructs, rather than looking at it at the limited level of the consequences of it or symptoms such as only working with the shame and the guilt. I honestly do not regret things, but I did feel bad about it because of knowing ‘I could have done things better’ and I didn’t, so that’s the main self-flagellation point that I am now having to let go of J and yes it involves now literally smiling to myself about it because of how even one change in approach to seeing it, assisted me to see how I was seeing things in reverse and using that as an excuse to continue punishing myself. I realized my self-honesty in it through those chats of support with various people and at times, yes that is what we need when we are so ‘locked into’ a point .

I have a tendency to over analyze and in that, also get sometimes lost in giving too much weight on how I perceive things and not really see at what it is that I am creating and recreating as an experience within me. So here also having the assistance of others to unlock ourselves is essential, as it has also been a necessary point of support throughout my process in Desteni where you get a personal buddy support in walking your process, someone that has been there for sufficient time to know which aspects we tend to ‘lock ourselves in’ as well.

This is a great reminder of how at times one may believe that one simply has to ‘go through’ certain experiences, emotions and reactions or ‘down phases’ and not cross reference them because ‘it’s just how things are or what we are meant to go through and experience.’ But here I remind myself and so share to everyone reading this that: it is not so. It’s best to approach any supportive person or alternative medicine practitioner that one knows one can explain the whole story to and get a perspective on how it may link to the physical symptoms one is experiencing, so that they can be worked through in such therapies. Not to mention I also resorted to regular medicine due to some of the severity of the symptoms, so in that I also walked not judging ‘regular’ medicine as bad, but simply realizing to some aspects I did have to get to it because of the extent it was compromising my body.

The explanation given in Eqafe.com’s audio “Unlocking yourself’ is a fascinating one to also understand why we have to also be more open to having others approach us when they are noticing something ‘off’ in us, or when we can decide to reach out for support at a timely manner, instead of waiting for things to just continue accumulating without resolution, so I recommend getting to listen to it to see the ‘background workings’ of who we are as life and committing ourselves to this process and how support arrives at a timely manner for it.

I also recommend investing in subscribing to Eqafe Unlimited which is the new way where you can subscribe on a monthly basis and have access to all the thousands of recordings that cover almost every possible topic that relates to our creation, our development, self-support and how to deal with every aspect of our minds and our daily lives. It’s a worthy investment considering that what one learns there, will forever stay with you if you act on it, place it into action and application, making your life considerably better, having the practicality of ‘how to’ get to reach your potential as a human being. It not only aims to assist us in self-development, but also to break down the locks we’ve been living as forever as humanity, that only now have become available for all, and now can be accessed in a ‘Netflix’ manner, which is quite convenient too.

Reach out for support when you see that you are just giving rounds to the same thoughts and experiences in the mind and in the body without them going away or getting any lesser. There’s desteni.org, the desteni forum and Eqafe.com for support too Sonrisa I’m forever grateful for walking this process along with people that are there to support you whenever you require to get feedback and cross reference what one is working on and experiencing and unlock ourselves from the inner blindness on a point.

 

Listen to: Unlocking Yourself

 

The past that haunts us

 

Join in if you want to start walking your own process of defining your Self-Honesty

 


488. Social Expectations and Self-Honesty

Or how to face a situation like a funeral in a balance of what is politically correct and what is our genuine expression in the moment.

For the last two days I was in a situation of facing the death of a close person and the attendance of a funeral for the second time ever in my life and to say the least, I had not yet created a way in which I can trust myself in those situations considering there are several aspects that I got to take into account, leading to a situation where I doubted myself at times that can be uncomfortable yet entirely self-created of course. So I’ll share here the raw process of me going through the whole lay out of the points and the self-forgiveness process wherein I establish common sense and points for me to correct/align in future similar situations.

Even if I had dealt with the sadness point about this person eventually dying it an accepting it, realizing that as we know, no one ever really dies and he’s probably facing his process in the afterlife right now, at the same time having to also be participating in all the processes that come after the person dies with the family became a new set of situations that I had not faced in my life therefore they became quite a part of myself to get to know and investigate further.

First of all, saw a dead person for the first time in my life. I saw myself not wanting to do it based on some kind of fear of ‘seeing a dead person’ but I did it in order to do it for once and for all and I found it a bit disturbing to say the least, I judged doing so as a form of morbid move as if there was something ‘to see’ in a dead body at the same time, which ended up being a printed image in my mind that I got stuck on for some time, seeing myself imagining how I would look dead, how my partner would look dead, how my parents will look dead and in that moment I said to myself like ‘whoa wait a minute what am I participating on?’ which was of course just a mental stimulation with no practical use, not even if for the purpose of getting comfortable with the idea of all of us dying at some point anyways, because it’s not here so, just indulging in imagination about it won’t certainly be supportive at this very moment.

Many times before I’ve skipped funerals altogether, I did not see the point and also feared seeing others sad and so fearing myself becoming sad and in a powerless situation. But after a while of reading others’ experiences and considerations around funerals, I decided to attend and be part of most of the processes involved in it this time and ensuring that I was making a decision to do so as my own volition, not self-compromise, but this wasn’t entirely so in various moments where I consider I succumbed my idea/belief or perception of what others’ expectations were based on the situation, where I saw myself being torn into what I consider my self-honesty in those moments and doing what I thought was going to ‘please others’ based on expectations of what to be and do in such situations where people are visibly mourning.

One thing I recalled from my first funeral I attended back in 2001 is how I could not feel a thing, therefore I started thinking myself into sadness in order to cry and then feel like I had been up to the expectations of what goes on in a funeral. This time I decided to be there for my own sake and to be with my family which I can say is my family even if ‘political’ but have spent many times together with them so, yep it was  of course sad for me but we got to know of this situation coming more than a month ago, so there was time to process it yet I found myself still not entirely settled in ‘who I am’ in moments of mourning and what to say or do to support others.

So here I’m starting to investigate my experience and make sense of it: what am I aware of? I made the decision to be accompanying the family in all the processes, from the waiting of the funerary services, which means seeing the body on the bed ‘as is,’ to seeing it leave to the funerary, to accompanying it to the funerary, to waiting for it to be received, etc. I saw it also as a learning experience, a first time in it all while also wanting to be of support in any way I could around there.

This part I found myself a bit too clumsy on, which might be a judgment. To me there was not so much of a point to have so many considerations for a body there, while I know that the being is no longer there and then it’s just a matter of rather being there for the family. It was surprising to find out about all the procedures and legal situations that need to be directed when a person dies – again, it was a learning experience but I also saw myself a bit conflicted in terms of whether I had to present myself in a particular situation or not. I decided to simply be a point of tranquility and stability during that phase to assist in any  way I could – but there wasn’t anything I got to actually ‘do’ in it all but just be there.

This ‘just be there’ clicks in me as if it was something that was ‘not enough’ or ‘minimal’ but it is me, it’s my presence, not defined through a ‘doing’ per se, but we were there the same way that we had been with all the same people in previous family reunions.

When I saw that I got a bit too conflictive was when it comes to assessing what was ‘sufficient’ in terms of time and moments of being there with the family and it was actually many hours throughout the past two days, practically whole afternoon until midnight in all the processes and even if we were suggested that we could leave at any time, I would assess ‘in my mind’ based on ‘what is acceptable and what is not’ by others, how ‘others’ would see it and in this is where self-compromise existed. I didn’t want to leave the spot, I didn’t want to cause an impression of ‘not caring about the person’ because in fact even if my interaction with the person wasn’t ‘that much’ every time it was actually very genuine and that’s what I am most grateful for about that situation that we could go beyond ‘age difference’ or ‘roles’ and speak frankly about things, which is also he liked about myself and my partner, not really ‘playing a show’ or being hypocritical as he would say, but just ‘be ourselves.’

So, in those moments of facing some coldness and hunger at times, some sleepiness too, I saw that I wanted to ‘stick up’ to being strong or resilient and supportive, while at the same time doubting myself altogether whether I should be there or not, whether it was of any support for others or not, whether it was best for us to leave or not, so in essence deciding to stick by based on doing it for others, to accompany them and also in a way of considering the memory of the person that died even though I know that he’s not ‘here’ or near his body but possibly walking his life review right now.

I decided then that we should stick through it all from beginning to end, taking some breaks in between but it was my first ‘full-fledged’ process of funeral in my life and I can use this experience as a way to learn more about myself in a situation like that and also confronting the point of judging myself as ‘not sure of myself’ in many situations or how to ‘act’ towards some people, because sometimes one doesn’t feel sad and I tend to be very transparent about it then judging myself as possibly being perceived that ‘I don’t care enough because I’m not sad or concerned’ which I did challenge as a belief within myself, not playing an emotion as a form of empathy towards others, while at the same time yes considering others’ pain and sorrow, and in some points yes admitting that I cried along with seeing some family members cry at the same time as a realization of their loss and that’s where I pushed myself to give a hand, to caress their back and simply be there for support .

Therefore I see that I have to let go of the judgment towards my actions in wanting to frame them as adequate or not, good enough or not, because as much as there are ways and certain politics or protocols in such situations, I can create an equilibrium between yes, adapting myself to it without compromising myself too much.

Where did I see the compromise? Well, when the coffin was open and the body was inside, people were going to greet it and say their goodbyes. I could not rationalize that it would have any meaning other than looking at an image of the person in the body and upon seeing everyone’s reaction to it, I considered that it was also a bit of a morbid situation, while at the same time rationalizing that ‘ok, it’s just a dead body, if I am resisting looking at it again, it’s based on the first impression I had the day before I saw the body ‘raw’ on the bed where he died’ and this time he already had some touch ups from the funerary, so I decided to look at the body and then the inevitable happened of course, the image triggered the actual realization of ‘the person is dead’ and you won’t ever see him again. So, there I cried a bit again which a part of me wanted to prevent and suppress while another was saying just let go and cry it out, while at the same time judging the emotional aspect of myself since it seemed ‘out of my control’ to handle.

In essence, yes as one can read, I was in a constant assessment and questioning of ‘what would be best for all’ to do in those moments, so I decided to not look at what I would like to do that much, but more look at others, the reason for this funeral to exist is not so much for the dead person – he’s not here anymore –but for the family, and that’s something I kept reminding myself so focused on being there as a point of presence for my family, for the family in general and as partner says, we are part of a social situation so we have to participate the same way others do and yes, learn from this situation for future ones because death is the most certain thing that happens to every person and not even our ‘tomorrow’ is secured, to any of us.

I also practiced simply breathing and being quiet within myself in those moments where there wasn’t really ‘much to do’ or not much happened. I also didn’t go into participating in the thoughts or memories about the person because I knew that would be a direct trigger to start crying or being sad about it, and I didn’t do that. I focused on what was in my surroundings and learned to be there with others in a similar manner, while at the same time ensuring I am not taken over in any emotional way, except for the couple of crying moments that didn’t last long.

I realize I have to also let go of judging myself if getting emotional in a situation like that. As it’s been shared in some material, one can cry and let it all out as a point of release, but at the same time ensuring that one is not ‘thinking oneself into crying’ either.

It also was an interesting situation because funerals and the death of a relative are such ‘common situations’ but funnily enough I had avoided going at those for such a long time, though due to the closeness with this person, I genuinely decided to be part of it, which is cool, I can see that I decided to live the word Empathy here in the sense of not become equally sad as everyone there, but decide to stand as a presence that can be more stable, breathe, and simply be there as a person that is there in the memory of the person that died and to be with the family. Here I have to for a moment be considerate and let go of more of my ‘radical self’ that would say that it is all useless as he’s not ‘there’ anymore and it is only a way to cry-out many regrets, fears or projections of our own death, but nope, I decided to be clear within me and not project, not judge others but there still was more of a questioning on how adequate I was in those situations – and instead learn from it, not judge myself over it, because it is in fact something relatively new.

We can only learn from making either decision – one or the other – because as partner says, if one see-saws then there are fears and then I have to look at what were those fears which I can see are related more into ‘what others might say’ rather than learning to trust myself, my consideration and not fearing making a ‘mistake’ in such a ‘delicate situation’ but all of these are like ‘special values’ I’ve attached to a situation like a funeral, which I should start embracing as any other part of our social interactions too.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project onto others ideas, beliefs and expectations about ‘how I should be and behave’ and in this compromising myself within these beliefs within me that I thought I had to ‘stick to’, which actually I ended up shattering once that I saw how the whole funeral indeed became like a small reunion of the family where eventually the sadness and protocol were past and people were able to relax a bit after some of the processes involved in the funeral were done, as well as realizing that I had created this whole idea about funerals in my head, from movies or situations that are not realistic in how things and people actually go and behave in them, so I confirm my own brainwashing, lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my actions and interactions during a funeral as inadequate or possibly not good enough when there is actually no ‘standard’ for it all nor is there any morality that I should adjust to, other than instead going in accordance to the actions and activities that are part of the funeral and remain in stability while being accompanying others in such moments, letting go of the idea that I have to ‘be sad or show sadness’ and instead continue pushing myself to be ok with being stable and rather of a supportive stance in the midst of it all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge crying in a funeral as a weakness, as a form of ‘being in my mind’ upon seeing the person in the coffin which actually could have also triggered the idea of ‘no longer seeing the person around’ while at the same time remembering the times with them,  while at the same time invariably considering the death of everyone around me in that moment as something that I’ll face in one way or another – therefore, I can embrace death, death people as in dead bodies in front of me and see them for what they are, matter, while reminding myself that this funeral process is more for the living than the dead and that no matter ‘who dies’, I am here, I am breathing and anything I am fearing in relation to death I have to process for myself from the get go in order to not be holding on to judgments, ideas, beliefs around death and funerals and the social situation in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea that I should be ‘beyond’ this situation of funerals in terms of getting emotional in it, which can instead create a suppression if I have already participated in any form of sadness around it and as such, releasing it through crying makes sense for the body and myself, instead of holding myself back and causing more suppression in my body which I consider I created in me, experiencing a flu at the moment which sounds like a participation in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fears around the future of my parents dying, others in that same funeral dying and how I’ll have to take care of the situation which I managed to also turn into a constructive discussion with my parents to get to know more of the facts around their funerals and time of death, which has also become very much like a taboo topic that over the years I’ve been opening up more, but I could see how based on reactions I saw they had upon touching the subject, it was definitely not a ‘desired topic’ but they were ok to explain some things, which is cool and in this I rather turn those ‘fears’ into something practical where I know where I can look at the prevention and practicality of these points to look at.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into a future projection of how hard it must be to have parents die and how much I will cry or suffer when they are gone, and in doing so don’t stop myself from indulging into this imagination, wherein even if it could be a practical imagination and I considered how it would be reasonable to cry and be sad, there was also a fear of ‘not being able to be stable enough’ or ‘losing my ground’ which I rather hereby let go of the judgment towards a situation as the death of relatives, family, friends, partners that I will most likely face in my lifetime and instead be ok with whatever emerges in that moment, not judging sadness for the death of someone close to me as a weakness or a fall, but instead seeing it as a momentary process that I will also overcome with time and self-support, so here realizing that death of others is not the end of the world, no matter how hard it is at times, I am here, I’m breathing, I’m alive and so I rather not look too much into a future that I cannot ensure for myself either and instead, I can trust myself that when the time comes, I can deal with the situation in self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have tried to ‘break the taboo’ around the topic of death through speaking about it, asking how I would like to be buried or how others would like to be buried while at the same time still doing so within an inherent fear of actually having to face such moments – so here applies the point of ‘who we are’ in what we do, because even if I might seem comfortable in asking these questions and they can be in fact genuinely supportive to look at for practical reasons, if I am still existing as fear of facing those moments, then I am still having to let go of the fear of ‘what if’ for a future moment, stick to my present and trust myself I’ll be able to handle it when time comes, because death is the only certainty that we all have in this reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of loss toward the people that are close to me and wanting to believe that ‘I’ll survive it, I’ll be strong about it’ when in fact I don’t know and can’t know, and have to accept that it might not be an ‘easy time’ for me, yet what I do know is that  I can eventually overcome it with continuing focusing on living and supporting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self-doubt about my actions and ways in general during a funeral wherein I am focusing more on what I am ‘for others’ and doing what is ‘expected’ instead of rather deciding to be the directive principle of myself there, doing what others do that I find is supportive like being there with the family, without indulging into emotions if they are not ‘here’ – meaning, not pretending for the sake of empathy – and at the same time, not judging myself if I do become emotional in them, wherein then I can come and write and see what other fears or points opened up in my through this experience and so instead of seeing this experience through the eyes of ‘fearing making a mistake’ or ‘not being up to the expectations’ – which are my own anyways – I can learn from myself in those contexts and continue being honest with myself about my experience, while realizing that I can stabilize myself and I can prevent emotional buildups through writing and reasoning through a death process as a preventive measure, but at the same time, not to judge if I cannot ‘contain’ myself in those moments. What matters is being able to stand up from those moments, not judging myself for being ‘at my weakest’ during the death of a person close to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted to play the strong one that doesn’t cry at all and that is ever stable when I have to also be self-honest in my experience and be ok with me being sad or crying at a funeral, while also keeping an eye on not being entertaining memories or ideas that lead to a continuous crying that is then being constantly generated by the mind and that I consider will also depend on the relationship with the person, the time spent with them and so not judging others when I do see them ‘break down’ and be very sad in those moments of mourning the death of a loved one. I have to embrace those situations as aspects of our humanity that might be difficult to completely face with zero emotions. Therefore not to judge myself as emotions, but rather ensuring I am not manipulating myself into emotions and instead let them out once that they are there and support myself to stand up again from such times/moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that we will miss him in family reunions because of his good sense of humor, kindness and embracing towards us for who we are, understanding our sometimes unconventional ways of being and enjoying that of ourselves, believing that then ‘no one’ will have that same stance towards ourselves, but here I can then apply the ‘miss-him’ to me-is-him realization whenever in future moments it comes up that we are missing him in our reunions, to rather live that kindness, welcoming, embracing, non-compromising expression he had with us, as well as with a good sense of humor and live it out ourselves, to continue being cordial to others and rather continue applying those words as myself toward others. That way I take the words, the aspects of him that I found most supportive and enjoyable and make it a point to live them as myself and so toward others.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel a bit powerless in wanting to help others that were in notorious grief and wanting to assist them in one way or another, expecting some kind of ‘result’ from it, instead of rather being unconditional with my presence and support and understanding how my desire to stop them suffering is still coming from a fear of them remaining in suffering, so I rather let go of a desired outcome of what my support should do for others and instead express it as myself, no judgment, no expectation, letting go of what’s right or wrong, but be able to trust my common sense in such moments and let go of the judgments, no matter how ‘new’ a situation might be for me, common sense is common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an expectation towards myself in a funeral as in ‘wanting to be of support for others’ and so trying to find any way in which I could be ‘there’ as a point of support, which didn’t came through in any notorious manner, therefore here I have to let go of my desire to ‘be of support’ and instead embrace my presence as that, a presence that is there for myself and for others wherein I can then assist when and as I see is possible or required of me, but this does not mean that I am ‘only there wanting to support’ because then I condition myself, my decisions and my expression as in wanting to be ‘of support’ for others only.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to at times also consider whether I should be there at all, if we were not much of an ‘extra burden’ in such moments where I was assessing then in terms of ‘hierarchy of importance’ and ‘who’s who in the zoo’ in that situation based on ‘how close’ each person was to the person that died etc. instead of just being able to embrace my own conviction  of wanting to be there as my decision and that of everyone else that was also participating in their own decision – so I have to stop indulging into ‘what ifs’ in such situations, because yes as much as others could compromise themselves in not wanting to be rude to some people and ask them to leave, I also cannot create ideas about what others are desiring in relation to my presence there either. I can only be the one that is sincerely there as a personal conviction and so, others could do the same in relation to embracing me or not around and communicate about it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be ‘politically correct’ in a situation such as the death of a person, wherein it actually comes from a desire to be doing the ‘right thing’ in such situations but the reality is that it is many times a new experience for everyone therefore, there is no ‘right or wrong’ or expectations around it, but simply doing what’s necessary to do in such situations, following protocols while assisting oneself to remain calm and not feeding our minds with fears and experiences, while at the same time embracing the emotions if they are here at times.

 

I saw various points opened up throughout these past days and I noticed how in several moments I had to go making sure I am doing things within my own volition and decision, breaking through a pattern of avoiding funerals and instead testing out ‘who am I’ in them, in a way facing a fear of death in general I suppose that is more in relation to seeing others being sad or mourning and fearing that within myself.

I have to make peace with a process of mourning, that’s for sure and it’s something I’ll face probably several times in my life, therefore I rather assist myself with prevention and learning from this experience, which is another way to get to know myself.

 

Ultimately I have to consider and remind myself do as I’d like to be done unto – and in this yes I would not like people to be sad when I am dead but rather take one or two points they learned from me and live them through in their own lives, that would be awesome so, this process goes beyond ‘a funeral’ really, it can be turned into much more of what that person lived and what we can learn from each other and continue the life of these individuals through words we saw them live and live them ourselves.

 

Thanks for reading

 

For anyone seeking support on facing the death of loved ones , please read through the following blogs from Sunette to understand the process of mourning at a mind and physical level, very supportive:

Shock, Trauma and Stress: DAY 479 | Heaven’s Journey to Life

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Two): DAY 480 | Heaven’s 

Relationships and Death: DAY 481 | Heaven’s Journey to Life

Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself – DAY 491 | 

Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself (Part 2) – DAY 

 

To anyone wanting to know first hand shares from the life in the afterlife:

Death Review Series: This series consists of personal stories of beings during their process of death in various contexts and situations, detailing the relationship between the mind, body and beingness.

 

Life Review Series: This series consists of hundreds of personal stories of beings who passed, crossed over and reviewed their lives – all to share with us what they faced, what they learned and how they did or could have lived solutions.

 

Mourning Flu

 

 

join in the Process of Life


438. Louder Than Bombs

How to not give up upon ‘losing the passion to live’

 

Louder than bombs Psychological Review

 

I watched a movie called Louder than Bombs (2015) and without getting too much into the plot, the character of the mother/woman that was a war photojournalist was the one that caught my attention because of how she dealt with her personal life and her job, being in the war zone and dealing with the impact that had in her.

 

The character is complex in terms of how she presents her work to others and how it seems she lived it ‘within’, but there was a point that really ‘struck a chord’ within me considering that she had this very diligent commitment to her work with having to go to all of these war zones to take photographs so that they could eventually be center pieces to stories/journalism about such situations, which I had considered at some point doing as well because of also considering that: this helps to open people’s eyes and change the world.  I didn’t end up doing it, but I am profoundly grateful for all those documentary film makers and photojournalists that enable us to see what we would hardly ever get to see firsthand in this world. At least to me, being informed about ‘what goes on in this world’ has benefitted me in expanding my ‘world view’ from only focusing on my life and personal desires to learning to care about others in this same planet as myself.

So in the movie there was one moment where she’s at the airport with her husband, waiting for her next flight and one of her photos shows up in a New York Times’ article to expose the refugee camps in Afghanistan – or something around that – to which the husband tells her  – paraphrasing -‘Hey, this is a great job!’ and she smiles or maybe sees it as ‘mission accomplished’ or as part of her work and who she is, but on the table across she sees a man that looked sort of the ‘business type’ that is also holding an issue of the NYT and when he gets to the page where her photo and report are, he passes on to the next page without even hesitating to read at least a bit into it – or watch the picture closely if anything – and in that moment that she was overlooking at this situation, one could see her eyes suddenly becoming watery or I could imagine her heart going into a knot so to speak for realizing that maybe a lot more would do this, maybe this is how it is with all of her pictures and this kind of articles, showing or proving that: no one really cares. 

This is my entire reading I got from these few seconds that the moment in the movie lasted. Suffice to say that she plunges into a depression, about many things in her life and ends up killing herself.

After watching the movie, I commented to my partner how that moment resonated with me a lot whenever I go into this experience of ‘no one really cares about what we do’ or ‘no one even watches it/reads it, so what’s the point?’ and within that allowing myself to go into this ‘plunging’ point of seeing no point in it. Yet one thing I reminded myself in that moment and the solution I saw was that If she would have done her job as a principle for herself, because it mattered to her, regardless of how many see it or attend her exhibitions, this could have become a point that she gives ‘life’ to, instead of allowing herself to be continually be abased by the situations she encountered or by losing a meaning to it all. When I allow this to take over myself is mostly when being located in the position of the ‘result-demanding’ character so to speak, where I am looking at wanting to have an effect on others, to ‘change the world’ through what one can produce or place out there, while in fact forgetting it is not about ‘others only’ it’s about myself and the decision I’ve made to for example share some audio recordings with a personal perspective I’ve found more supportive when ‘finding my own two feet’ related to the atrocities of ‘world events’ we get to be aware of in the media.

I also saw the potential of myself at some point becoming like that character that plunges so deep into seeing no meaning in anything: her personal life, her work, while witnessing and being sucked into the events she took photographs for, that she ends up killing herself where ‘committing suicide’ is usually seen as a way to ‘end the suffering’ when in fact it is mostly a way to give up from redefining the life that we want to live and instead of seeing ‘no way out’ rather focusing on creating new ways to re-load our lives so to speak and continually be creative to stand in the same principles yet explore new ways in which one can express and live this change or importance that we see in making of this world a better one to the best of our ability, starting with How we live our lives.

Here for those that get to watch or have watched the movie, a practical way in which the photographer could have gotten herself back on track is by stopping her photojournalist trips as she had decided and promised she would, and then focus on getting support to establish better relationships and communication at home, to learn how to deal with her depression. Because, her depressed state eventually affected both of her sons, in turn affecting the kind of decisions that they made in their own lives based on having been affected by seeing their mother in a sad state when she was at home and seeing the problems that the parents had as a couple. Maybe by rekindling the relationship at home, her sons would have had more stable lives, taking the example of not plunging herself into a state of depression or anger or frustration, but rather focusing on getting oneself back on track and so being an example to others around us about it, much could have changed if this was a decision lived by the woman.

One aspect we tend to create is ‘caring too much about others’ and doing justice to others, or wanting to ‘protect’ something or someone out there, yet neglecting our personal lives within this. This is what happened to this character of the photographer in the movie, where she had problems with her husband, she was depressed and not talking about it or seeking solutions, getting to the point of being unfaithful in her marriage ending up just ‘losing it’ and crashing herself in the car. It was funny because in that moment of seeing this while in the movie, my partner timely said ‘remember it’s just a movie, they are just actors’ which was just what I needed to in that moment kind of ‘snap out of it’ and stopping indulging into this personal identification with the whole situation, essentially starting to ‘see myself in her’ and diving into that same ‘plunging’ experience. So definitely next time I’ll be more aware of this ‘getting lost’ into the emotional drive of the story and here to remind myself those words too and to continue watching yet still objectively, using the movie and stories as a point to reflect and introspect about myself  and others in this world as well.

Reflecting on the ‘doing something to depict/portray or reflect state of the world’ – what I’ve found and this we also discussed after the movie is that there is much of an informational saturation these days that surely it is unlikely that one gets the ‘reach’ that one would like currently with common sensical perspectives and essentially non-sensationalist points of view, because that’s what ‘sells’ in this world for now. Very few people have developed a sense of living ‘care’ or ‘consideration’ to be informed about the situations around the world, yet there are some that do, and the more that we continue to participate and contribute to this ‘new culture’ of being informed citizens yet at the same time, learning to take the points back to self as in recognizing and taking our responsibility for the points that we see we can change within ourselves, our minds and in the way that we live, the more we will expand this new awareness or new culture of life that stops feeding the usual ‘conflict-fueled’ mass media.

So this is a practical consideration, a realistic consideration to many of us that may at times hit the ‘black hole’ of seeing ‘no point’ in sharing ourselves or not seeing the ‘desired effect’ of what we do, however if we become that point and reason as to why we do it and remind ourselves of who we decide to be in doing so, we become that 1+ point of change that participates and expresses in our current conflictive culture. Never to underestimate what we do, where we stand or the ‘effect’ one can have in others, but mostly to realize that what truly matters is not the amount of data and information one can imprint on others, but rather sharing how one has changed Within oneself, in our day to day living to align to principles that one wants to see as the new way of living, the new ‘norm’ of how to interact and coexist in this world. Within this I mean that what we do becomes an extension of who we are in it, therefore not falling into the role of the photographer in the movie that upon seeing her photojournalism and work as ‘meaningless’ or not having the desired effect, she took that entirely upon as ‘her definition/ her life’ and instead of stopping doing it and trying out something else, she stopped her profession and shortly after, she stopped her own life with it.

 

As much as this is a reflection upon a character in a movie, it is also a personal reminder of whenever getting sucked into the ‘black hole’ of ‘what’s the point?’ and seeing ‘no point’ in sharing one’s work or creations, to remind myself to be that one point for myself, to stand As It as a point of principle as a declaration of who I am, regardless of who listens/watches it, because this is a form of contribution of a process of change and new perspectives that I am aware and certain can be supportive for others at any point in their lives, where they may go through the same or similar situations and simply extend the support that I have also benefitted from when learning from others facing this and ‘bigger’ points of seeing no point in this entire existence, yet even today still seeing them standing in their decision to see the point in life and giving themselves a purpose to stand as the solutions in this world.

We can never really be short of ways to overcome the problems, what we can be short of at times is the will to create, the commitment to stand as the potential of who we can live and be in this world. And this is also a personal reminder whenever tending to focus only on the mayhem, the death, the destruction, the wars, the violence, the lies, the deception, the suffering  and all that which we have yet to correct in our world, to not see it as this big black hole that sucks us all into oblivion, but to see it for what it is: a consequence that we have to understand in order to learn how to stand under the problem as a ‘fixed’ point, as part of the solution, from the root and cause of it, instead of allowing ourselves to be influenced by the consequences, the ‘tips of the icebergs’ we get in our daily news, and so decide to take the responsibility to understand how those problems ensued, what is it within ourselves that has contributed to the nature of the problem and rather spend the rest of our lives working with ourselves and assisting others in whichever ability we are able to, continuing sharing supportive expressions that consider the context, the people involved, their lives, the context of the world system and essentially learning to ‘trace back’ the problems out there back to ourselves, our human nature, who we have become within our minds and lives that has manifested as the world without and take responsibility for it. Easily said, but takes a continuous  re-commitment to live this, no matter what, so that we can eventually make of our reflections and practical solutions ‘louder than bombs.’

Thanks for reading

 

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The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


437. What to Do when Feeling like an Outcast?

Here I share some practical steps to consider whenever this particular experience of feeling left out, feeling like not belonging, feeling like one is being judged by others in a particular group or environment, or that one is the ‘odd one sticking out’ etc.

 

If you’d like to have more context as to how I walked this point of ‘the outcast’ you can read the whole story I wrote some years ago of how I experienced this here: ‘The Outcast’: self-imposed tag

 

Whenever you feel like there is no ‘room’ for you somewhere, as if you simply were being ignored by others or deliberately ‘left out’ – first point is to clear oneself from these perceptions, always realizing that these are perceptions created in one’s own mind, therefore: they are not in fact real. We make them real when living out this self-rejection in fact, which means these thoughts make us want to keep quiet, remain isolated and deliberately not interacting with others, because we are in fact very occupied in our own minds building up the feeling of being the outsider, the outcast. Funny, isn’t it? We actually create our own experience and feed it through thinking. And what I’ve noticed is that if we wait for someone asking us directly to ‘come and share’ or ‘speak’ or ‘join in’ it will not happen that often

Therefore:

Instead of continuing churning the outcast character in the head, take a breath, and make a very physical and decisive step to Participate which practically means: take part in/ be a part of. How? Speak, write, let yourself be read/heard and so known. We often make the mistake of waiting for the right moment to share some perspective or point of view or simply to start the very basic point of communicating, which is also a decision one makes to interact with someone else.

Throughout these first steps, it is likely that some voices in the head of being disliked or not being welcomed, or ‘no one asking for your participation’ to come up. In this: keep on reminding yourself of these being words that one has most likely created over a long period of time in our heads, therefore they are not ‘what people really think’ or are at all disclosing the reality of the situation, they are entirely our own creation, therefore we can stop participating ‘up there’ and rather continue the physical process of writing, speaking, sharing oneself with others.

Also important to note that it is not like these judgments will go ‘easily’ or  ‘go away forever’ with just stopping them once. Nope. We have trained ourselves in our minds to continually have ‘something to say’ as in some kind of judgment, fear  that turns into an anxiety, an insecurity, a bunch of questions about ‘others’ and how they relate to us. But two things are certain: one is that these experiences have been ‘recorded’ in our mind, therefore are self created and as such we can stop participating in them; and the other point is that whatever anyone else holds as a judgment, perception, idea, belief about oneself or others, it is also entirely their creation and so their point of responsibility. This assisted me a lot to take whatever judgments or criticisms for what they are: mind perceptions that have no impact or ‘value’ toward myself, because I have by now gotten to know what I am, what I am not which means: I cannot allow another’s words to define me. Of course unless it is not a judgment and someone is giving some kind of feedback about myself that I could take into consideration as a point of self support, but that is then just that: constructive criticism that one can look further within oneself to see what can we learn from it.

 

Another point that was ‘hard to admit’ at the time is how my own ‘outcastism’ was in fact a point of superiority, waiting for people to specifically ‘ask me’ for something or ‘focus on me only’ or ‘pay only attention to me’ which is quite ludicrous because in this I am in no way being a ‘fair player’ in the interaction, but in fact demanding some special attention and care. Is this self-honest as in really applying the principle of equality where one realizes that no matter ‘who’ is speaking to, ‘where’ one is at, we are all ultimately equal at that level of humanity, therefore there is Always something that connects us, something we can talk about and relate to, just by the fact that we have the ability to communicate between each other as species. It is funny how many times we forget about this and create a wall of judgments between each other that divides us, when these ‘walls’ are in fact invisible, self created and so ‘the wall’ can be self-demolished in one single moment where one makes the directive decision of ‘I am here, I participate, I share myself, I communicate, I unconditionally become part of the moment/discussion/interaction with others. And so, what I noticed is that it feels like taking a dive into a pool where one knows it will be a bit cold, might be a bit of a fright initially, but it gets better once you are actually doing it. This in fact applies to many other things we usually fear to do.

So linked to this, in my case I had to become aware of not stepping on my ‘high horse’ and believing I could only communicate or be friends with or interact with people that were ‘at my same level’ in whatever I defined ‘that level’ to be. Therefore this means the ability to be humble and unconditional when giving these first steps of interaction. What do these words mean? Being able to talk to others or approach a point of communication without having a particular ‘agenda’ behind, a particular intent or point of personal interest that could be already ‘clouding’ one’s ability to be clear in what we want to say. This personal interest also includes those judgments where we are Only considering oneself, as if everything revolved around ‘me’ only, when in fact what I’ve found is the best way to initiate any interaction and virtually be able to approach any person and talk to them is by being very stable and quiet in oneself, and sticking to the moment: not having any ‘desire’ – therefore unconditional – behind the communication other than making it a clear decision to speak, share, communicate, write yourself in an interaction with another, scheduling meet ups with others etc.

 

These are some considerations where the focus is on the ‘what to do’ or what kind of words can one live to get out of the ‘outcast’ experience and instead ‘cast’ oneself to participate in the communication and interactions with others.

No need to ever desire to ‘be a part of’ because we are Already a part of this world, everything and everyone here. It is more like realizing that no one else is supposed to ‘make space for you’ or tell you that ‘you belong’ because that only creates an idea or experience, when in fact, there is no need for that. I’d rather suggest realizing that I am here, therefore I am part of life and this world, therefore I accept myself as that part that I am in this life and take part in co-creation by establishing communication, contact with others.

There is nothing more fulfilling in fact than deciding to step out of one’s shell and connecting with people. Nowadays, there is no excuse really because we live in the ‘era of communication’ and it is frankly a bit absurd that the ‘internet era’ and generations could become more isolated behind the gadgets that are supposed to unite us. Time to use them to do just that: to connect with each other, to share, to speak up, to unconditionally let others know who we are and what we are up to in this life, no need for ‘special’ experiences or hidden agendas in this, but rather taking it as a statement of honoring that part of life that we are and the space that we breathe as part of life, of everything that is here.

And so, because we can all learn from each other, let me know your feedback if you do apply some of these points and how you find out they work out for you. These are only some aspects I’ve applied – and continue to apply – myself whenever the ‘outcast’ or ‘feeling left out’ experience creeps in, then I decisively step in and ‘let me share me’ – lol. So, I share also the links from others that have been sharing about this topic as well, which is great because it broadens our awareness on how this particular ‘mindset’ can exist and develop within ourselves.

 

Recommend to read/listen to them:

Day 1100: Outsider
How does it work? Fostering a connection with someone

Outsiders – day 695

Day 577 – Do I not belong?
Day 39 – Feeling Like an Outcast

Life Review – The Outsider

 

Best to stop the ‘self imposed’ tag as an ‘outsider’ and instead ‘cast’ oneself into taking part of living and connecting, communicating, relating to others which is also the way we can learn so much more about ourselves, which would not be possible if one deliberately isolates oneself.

 

 

If you don't try nothing will ever happen

 

 

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The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


426. Giving up vs. Letting Go

  

There was an interesting interview I listened about being able to let go of someone that is not willing to support themselves. Throughout my past, I have had a pattern of wanting to save people which then throughout this process became a necessity to want to show others their potential, to focus on the ‘good points’ they have and so how they could be used as a foundation for them to stand up for themselves. I can see myself in every person that considers they are not good enough to do something, because that was my life before. 

However, I have also realized there must be a line drawn when one stands as another cane to stand up at all times, or when someone does not even have the clear intention to stand up. then it becomes draining, then it becomes like having to take care of a chronically depressed person that has no decision to support themselves to transcend their self created experience, it becomes a way to accept abuse in one’s life as well;  It in fact becomes detrimental to another if one persists in supporting another while it is clear that after all suggestions made, all ideas for solutions, sharing of one’s own experience and many other resources for self-support and no clear indication of self-support is given, it becomes a futile process, a waste of time and just supporting another’s self-irresponsibility by treating another as if they had no way to actually assist themselves, which is a lie when we are talking about something that is entirely self-created like a constant depression or any other mind-related experience. 

I have a tendency to want others to acknowledge their self value by pointing out what I see is supportive/valuable about themselves, which is then a process of uplifting another through opinions, through my perception which in the end will enslave another to ‘my support’ because they won’t pick themselves up if I am not there. I’ve defined this as the ‘nurse’ construct, taking care of those that have derailed themselves in their lives, even at some point surrounding myself of friends that would all present similar characteristics and it is by no coincidence, in away I would find my own acceptance through being useful/valuable to others by supporting them or rather, fully standing there as their ‘cane’ which becomes an enslaving position for both sides. 

I have criticized this stance in others, yet I hadn’t wanted to admit I have done and still do the same, and if we did this about every other person in the world, we would only add more problems into our life other than assisting those that are already willing and clearly showing their intent to assist themselves.  Many times we want to save a particular relationship with the person, which means there is a point of self interest in doing so, because we like them, because they are ‘meaningful’ or ‘special’ to us in some way, but this has to be questioned, and in self honesty one cannot take such a stance toward another as it only recreates personalities, patterns of seeing others as ‘not able to do it themselves.’ Sure I agree that many of us have required such push and support for some time, but there is also a definitive difference when a person is clearly showing their intent standing by principle of assisting and supporting themselves and ‘falling’ in the process, then one can ensure one is there to momentarily step in and assist that individual – yet when it becomes the foundation for an entire relationship, and there is no clear indication of self support, I have realized that the best point of support one can provide is to let go. 

The point I have been looking at is when does one give up on someone and when is it a letting go?  I am seeing that giving up is what I have definitely experienced with regards to dealing with others and when I am the one that goes into a reaction about another’s situation/experience, when I am the one that is considering another as ‘the problem’ which is a clear indication that there was no actual self.responsibility acknowledged in this from my own side: taking responsibility for my reactions of impatience or anger or frustration or any other emotion that would ensue after I judge another’s life/process and so decide to ‘give up’ on it.  So in walking through this giving up on someone and so ensuring that I am not the one reacting to another’s words/attitudes , one can then start seeing the reality of the situation for what it is: no longer filtered by my own ‘struggle’ toward another’s experience/life, not clouded by a filter of likeness or preference or even empathic mirroring wherein I see the other as myself and so assist ‘me’ through them, no longer holding on to a past that was shared or some ‘good times’ spent with the same person – these were all filters and obstacles to see directly, to see where the person stands within their life on a day to day basis, how they react to support/assistance/suggestions for solutions and what they do with it. 

  In this, one is no longer affected by the person using or not using the support given, one gives it unconditionally, however it does get to a point wherein if there is no indication of standing up at all, it becomes a parasitical relationship, where one becomes the constantly needed ‘cane’ for another to stand up, to get some motivation or to get glimpses of ‘what could be’ if they start doing this for themselves, if they instead become their own self support after a significant amount of time that they have seen how supportive it has been to get this momentarily from another. However if one only sees the opposite happening, meaning the person becoming more and more dependent on it, or constantly requiring that support to stand up, then we have created an addict that will need one to ‘stand up’ and one cannot be the drug, one cannot be the doctor or nurse, there is a line to be drawn in order to also assist another to see how they have been shared/given all that was possible throughout a particular timeframe, how doing more would only make another dependent on one’s support and so never really give another the opportunity to stand up for themselves. 

This is how in an attempt to ‘assist’ another, one can become the constant perceived necessary cane to walk, when the bruise or injury is already healed and they are ready to walk again, we support the insecurity or muscle atrophy if we make another believe that they ‘still need us.’ This actually causes further harm than good. So letting go is about realizing that one has done everything that was possible/feasible to assist another, which is just that, showing the way, living by principle, being the example oneself – instead of dragging someone ‘toward change’ which becomes a draining experience for both sides. 

In this I have realized I also have to let go of the ideas, expectations formed about ‘what their potential could be like’ because it becomes then a desire projected toward others, which is usually charged in a positive manner, where once that one realizes it is not coming to fruition or not ‘happening’ at all, then comes the downside, the ‘fall’ of all expectations and place the person as ‘letting us down’ when in fact, it is never about ‘them’ in fact, but about ourselves, our expectation, our dreams of how ‘well’ something could work if, IF the person actually stands up. So what happens in such disappointment, the opposite of love is created, it becomes an unpleasant situation that makes us sad, angry, frustrated or disappointed, but hey! who did this to us? no one else but ourselves. 

So letting go of this constant ‘trying’ and this ‘battle’ to attempt to make others change is a necessary step if one has to get back to a point of sanity about a situation that can become quite stressful and draining at the same time. If someone is not willing to support themselves and this pattern continues for an extended period of time, then why holding on to it? So identifying the desire to do it and the fear that accompanies this is supportive to see how there are also personal interests vested on the situation, it is not entirely altruist and that’s where one’s responsibility has to be acknowledged as well in perceiving one would ‘gain’ something by another supporting themselves or that one would lose something as well by the opposite. 

I can see how many times still our most common sensical acts would want to be held on as trophies in one’s own mind, when this is just the mind that still wants to get some ‘hot air’ by doing something or ‘achieving’ something, when it is only the ego that would want to have this for personal satisfaction or because of any other hidden agenda about this. This is not an acceptable behavior in self-support assistance, no it is not an oxymoron, it is a specific term that indicates one can be a point of reference, of assistance to another’s process of developing self-support, not about ‘becoming’ their support in itself, which is the self-enslavement process I have defined in this blog. 

Should one feel ‘bad’ because one has to let go of this? Not at all, there is nothing real to lose or win anyways, this is about rather sticking to one’s own process of self-support to continue being a living example of how to do it onself, where everything one does stands as a test of time and consistency, which not only that one person/people can take as a point of reference, but anyone else that may find themselves in a similar situation in their life as well. 

There is no better support than the one that is provided without making another dependent on it, and so the analogy of stopping being a ‘drug’ or a ‘make another feel better about themselves’ role is quite spot on to understand this pattern. We cannot inject life into another and have them suddenly see things the way we see them and change, one has to rather let the point go and so go back to oneself with the things learned in these attempts to ‘support’ still standing with a point of self-interest, whichever this may be. 

There is a spark in all of us, waiting to be awakened if it hasn’t already been so, and one can only temporarily show to another what exists within themselves as well, but one cannot become the fossil fuel to keep lighting up theirs. Letting go is realizing one’s own responsibility to stop any reaction we create about another’s life/process. 

This is not a giving up on someone as they still stand within themselves, this is a letting go of my need to make others see themselves the way I see them and rather focus on myself, while being willing to stand as such unconditional support for those that clearly show they are willing to assist and support themselves, which then is not a ‘drag’ at all as it becomes  a mutual point of referencing and support, that’s definitely what all relationships in this world should be about. 

  


424. The Importance of Resolve

 

Sometimes we embark ourselves in a decision to change something about ourselves, to stop a particular abusive pattern, to align an aspect of our behavior or to cut ties with particular relationships, however what tends to happen is that we’re not entirely successful with this endeavor if we are missing a key ingredient to make it work: resolution.

 

 

This came up as I was writing on a personal matter that has ‘haunted’ me in my dreams for a long time now in relation to a specific past relationship in my past,  and I have been throughout time applying self forgiveness on the various aspects that mostly come up in dreams and I have wondered: but why is this STILL coming up? Isn’t it sufficient to have walked on this point for over seven years whenever the same comes up? And so I was looking at the word that I was missing, a clue on what I wasn’t fully considering in this process applied to this particular past relationship and the word is Resolve – and as I was reading the definition of course it clicked: I require to have an unwavering, firm, absolute stand in relation to the actual closure of this point within me in my mind and the decision of who I decide to be toward this point in my reality.

What I realized is that I had probably written a lot about it and I understand the reasons why it comes up, but it’s funny that I made it a bit something ‘more than myself’ as if it was something ‘more powerful’ or ‘sticky’ in a way that made me still dream about the same point in various ways and perceive it as something that would take ‘forever’ to let go of  or give closure too, and even speculated on why this point is ‘so strong’ which is not recommended lol, well at least it brings up further points for self forgiveness on other ideas, beliefs, perceptions as the reasons we give ourselves to make the point ‘more than us.’ However, as I was reading the definition of resolution, it all clicked, the simplicity of the solution was in fact in the word resolution: I realized that I had in fact left some kind of ‘open back door’ in my mind wherein I could still in some unconscious way ‘leave a possibility open’ for me to still hold on/cherish these memories just for the ‘benefit of it’ due to the value that I had given to that relationship specifically when it comes to the starting point of such relationship and what I believe ‘it gave me’ which was related to in this case, a perception of getting ‘acceptance’ and ‘worth’ from another, which were words I hadn’t lived as myself then.

So, what am I really missing then here which is what I will now commit to live as myself around this point? Resolution, which is giving an actual closure, having the resolve means having the firm and unwavering  stand and decision to fully let go and fully stop participating in entertaining the memories around this point, which I have actually been working on these past months since I wrote the blog on: 416. Relationships: Not about the Taste, but the Nutrients – however I do recognize that specifically on this topic, there hasn’t been like an absolute, full resolution to stop all attempts of me in my mind going back again on the subject, which even shows up in dreams at times.  This will be then a process of being fully diligent with not entertaining the same point, not ‘feeding’ it even by associating places, things, colors to that same construct of that part of my past which I’ve defined as ‘haunting’ which of course is not that it is ‘haunting me’ but rather how I have entertained it/ fed it for far too long even if the actual relationship is no longer part of my life.

I have to stand in full resolve to do this, there is no ‘middle way’ here and in a way I’ve seen this as the ‘toughest’ point thus far because it seems to ‘still be there’ no matter how much I have written about it – but I do fully see that it will take absolute discipline to stop revamping memories and experiences for my ‘personal consumption’ in a literal manner.

 

 

resolve

  verb

1  settle or find a solution to. Medicine cause (a symptom or condition) to heal or disappear.

2  a firm decision. a formal expression of opinion or intention agreed on.

3  Music cause (a discord) to pass into a concord during the course of harmonic change.

4  (resolve something into) reduce a subject or statement by mental analysis into (separate elements or a more elementary form). chiefly Chemistry separate into constituent parts or components.

5  (of something seen at a distance) turn into a different form when seen more clearly. (of optical or photographic equipment) separate or distinguish between (closely adjacent objects). technical separately distinguish (peaks in a graph or spectrum).

6  Physics analyse (a force or velocity) into components acting in particular directions.

  noun

1  firm determination.

 

 

 

ORIGIN

          Middle English (in the senses ‘dissolve, disintegrate’ and ‘solve a problem’): from Latin resolvere, from re- (expressing intensive force) + solvere ‘loosen’.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apply ‘full resolve’ to some points in my life, but those toward which I had built a ‘sentimental attachment’ then believe that I can somehow ‘leave around’ in the back of my head as if they were really ‘a part of me,’ instead of realizing that it is in those points that I keep myself ‘locked’ into aspects of myself as ‘my past’ that have no space in my current reality other than in my mind – therefore, I see that the moment that I allow myself to go into one single moment of ‘acceptance and allowance’ and/or indulgence of memories, thoughts, experiences, links to that one point in my past as memories, I reactivate the whole construct once again. Thus,

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to believe that this point was ‘more than myself’ because it had come up over and over again and even in dreams, not realizing that even if I was writing it all out, I recognize that I am not yet living this absolute resolve to change this one point specifically in ALL dimensions, including the obvious tendency to still ‘give into’ the memory in dreams.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not yet be fully diligent and stand in equal resolution to who I am when awake in my dreams, because I have defined in an unconscious way dreams to be the ‘last memory bastion’ wherein I could still have ‘my enjoyment’ about things, people, experiences that are no longer here in my reality – thus I realize that I have to fully let go of this false ‘enjoyment’ in dreams and realize that every moment that I indulge even in dreams around the same point, I make it part of my reality again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still ‘indulge’ into memories and experiences around this particular point in my life through dreams and even more so to want to keep sleeping whenever this point emerges in my dreams, instead of realizing that it is because I haven’t fully made  a decision to not participate in anything that has to do with this one point that the dreams occur as the obvious reflection of my suppression around it, of the denial of myself still wanting to ‘keep’ this point in my mind and believing that ‘I got it all under control’… but this is not really about ‘control’ but being willing to absolutely stop participating in memories, links, thoughts, experiences, dreams and any sort of nostalgia of the past around this particular point.

I realize that it is not that the point has ‘kept me locked’ but that I have been the one giving all of this energy and resistance to it throughout a long time and because I haven’t been absolutely living the resolution to stop it, it’s been a recurrent dream, a recurrent point in my mind-reality which of course has nothing to do with who I am here in physical reality any longer.

 

I commit myself to fully stop all thoughts, all memories, all experiences, all yearnings around this point. This is it and I’ll be the one knowing how effective I am in this stance and resolution on this point, as I realize that I am the only one that creates the haunting , not ‘the point’ itself.

 

 

So it’s interesting that in order to give resolution to something, to ‘solve it’ is to actually loosen it, to let go of it with a firm and unwavering decision to actually do so, to live that decision in every moment that I see I slack on the same point and allow myself to ‘wander’ around it again. I realize that resolution is what I require to apply within me as an absolute stance of who I decide to be if I am already now witnessing what happens when I don’t have an absolute resolve around stopping something within me. Thus, it’s a matter of absolutely just doing it, living it – but not allow just ‘bits’ here and there as that one single ‘bit’ of indulgence reactivates the whole construct once again, I make it part of myself, of my moment here which has nothing to do with myself and my reality any longer – it’s just memories that I have given fuel and importance to, that I have fed with energy to continue defining me according to ‘my past’ which doesn’t make any sense at all because this process is not about ‘fixing my past’ but changing who I am in relation to it.

 

So hereby I establish how in order to resolve something that I haven’t been ‘solving’ in an effective manner, is to check my resolution on stopping/changing or aligning myself in relation to that particular point I want to change/stop and align in my life. So simple, yet as it is said: the devil is in the details.

 

DSC03008

 

 

Watch:

Desteni Movie Night – Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Read:

Day 56: Letting Go of an Old Flame

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode

I have previously discussed how it is that we condition ourselves to create/put on a hard veneer in order to – let me be frank – not be fucked with/bullied/attacked by others and how this becomes like a second skin growth to actually make up for an initial experience of being vulnerable or having felt attacked by others words/actions. Here we can see how we condition each other to be constantly expecting the worst from one another, and so becoming the ‘fighters’ in the battlefield that we’ve created of our lives.

There are various reasons for this, one can be survival which is the way we have conditioned ourselves, our human nature to be guarding our own interest out of fear of others taking it away or abusing each other to get the most with the least effort etc. Another one is more related to that ‘attack’ that exists as a violent action toward one another, verbally/psychologically speaking while at the same time having the possibility to escalate to become physical as well. This is how I could see that we begin ‘corrupting’ ourselves0 when taking each others words personally, as a ‘personal attack’ and so create it in the form of bullying or ‘trollism’ as it exists now.

Here I’ll focus on a rather simply form in which I’ve noticed my own ‘defense-mode’ and what are the reasons for it. I’ve been actively participating in answering/interacting on YouTube and forums wherein I have had one of the most vivid evidences of how we can attack each other just for the sake of winning a ‘battle’ in our minds, just for the sake of ‘being right’ and making one another look like ‘an ass’ because ‘they are wrong’ and so in essence co-creating  just another virtual battlefield to breed human hatred or perpetuate the ‘Divide and Conquer’ mind frames which I initially would react to in an emotional way upon reading such denigrating, defaming,, spiteful, violent and even life threatening comments we would get on a daily basis as a result of what we publish, which is all about life in equality, living rights, what is best for everyone, etc.

So, looking back,  this is what I see as a cool ‘training ground’ when it comes to facing the REAL human nature and not only see the one I had believed in  – such as the good nature one – while being locked in my ‘home bubble’ and my limited environment with limited interactions, where I yes certainly did face bullying and backstabbing from ‘friends’ at an early age, prompting me into quite a ‘depression ‘ at the age of 7, 8 because of not being able to fathom such ‘harm’ imposed toward me from another at first, until I had the support from my mother to realize I did not have to take others words/actions personally – which was great support and led me to become rather independent from sheeple mentality while going through school. I did, however, become somewhat defensive in my personality, I could say that yes I had clear principles but a lot of it was also from the starting point of showing ‘others’ that ‘you can’t mess around with me,’ it worked to a certain extent – but what happens when that ‘veneer’ becomes ‘who you are’ and how one dictates one’s every interaction?

 

I see that the defense-mode that I am able to act out upon in one moment actually stems from acting once again based on past experiences/memories where I still place myself in such ‘defense mode’ meaning being ready to be ‘attacked’ from the moment that I, for example,  read a YouTube comment and so, instead of unconditionally reading the words that a person is placing, I already see where I can ‘find the point they are missing out on’ or what they are ‘defending’ or where they are trying to ‘prove me wrong, so that I can ‘point it out back’ and so this is something that I became used to do back in the day where we were certainly first becoming more aware of what each person implied in their words, which has been supportive nonetheless. But I see that I require to now and from here on step down from continuing that mechanism/way; this actually happened to me yesterday where I did thankfully get feedback from the person that I replied to on YouTube saying: “Marlen? I commented because you right on the money!  Thank You!”  The first word as my name with a question mark implying that they probably didn’t understand why I had replied in such a ‘harsh’ manner. And so I realized that I had come through toward him in the same old ‘attack-mode’ and ‘defense-mode’ instead of just seeing where the person is coming with the comment, what I can agree on as that’s our common ground and then expanding a bit on it without having the starting point of ‘proving him wrong’ or judging his very reply for not considering all points that I see but simply focusing on what I can do to assist and support to expand on the points brought up and create a conversation from there.

Assist and support here are the key points, not to ‘defend my point’ or ‘defend my cause’ because that’s what creates the battlefield on YouTube, but rather keeping it simple when answering back and inviting the person to continue the dialogue instead of wanting ‘them’ to ‘change’ all of a sudden toward Me and what I have to say, as that would be me as ego wanting validation/acceptance from others right away. The same point applies when I have deemed others as being ‘defensive’ toward me and so judging others as ‘being on defense mode’/being on attack-mode but it is really only me projecting my perception upon them because I’ve ‘been there/done that too.

 

So the key here is to then when and as I see myself reading comments, reading/hearing another’s words, I assist and support myself to not go into the predisposition of fighting/ attacking another based on the belief/assumption that ‘they are here to attack me first’ and so, instead allow me to read the comment/words unconditionally, without expectations or already ‘sharpening my knife’ to ‘get back at them,’ as I see that within this starting point I perpetuate the conflict and not allow myself to be really HERE with/as the words written/spoken and so be able to interact/reply back within the consideration of what I can learn from what the person is explaining, what I can learn from them, where I see that I agree upon to also reply back and letting the person know I also see that/agree with it.

This implies: Seeing where there is a point where I can share from my own realizations, self investigations and not only from knowledge and information, all of this within the consideration of placing myself in another’s shoes, taking into consideration the words in one YouTube comment, one email, one conversation and ‘walking with’ to expand on a point of cognitive dissonance, misinformation, belief, or an emotional reaction to the points explained, so that I can also point it out in a considerate non-defensive, non-attacking, non-aggressive manner which means explaining to another a point the same way I would want another to explain it to me: with patience, with humbleness and gentleness so as to be able to let the other person know that I do stand as these principles I talk about at all times, this is who I am and this is the consideration, care, gentleness and humbleness toward others that I commit myself to live by when interacting with them, so as to not come through as ‘me having the truth’ or ‘me having to be always right’ but being also willing to see my faults, my mistakes, where I reacted to another’s words and so take responsibility for such reactions myself.

 

So to not go into ‘denial’ of my actions, which is what the vlog was about in fact wherein I received such comment, here I stand directive of such point which opened up yesterday and so I am directing it here, as I see that if I want to create a world of transparency, integrity and trust, I have to be doing just that myself, seeing, realizing, understanding my mistakes, my reactions, investigate where they ‘come from,’ understand them, self forgive them and most importantly, give myself a new direction as to how I am going to be living these corrections from now on whenever I interact with another.

 

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition of ‘having to defend myself’ when replying to YouTube Comments or replying to others’ words whether written or in a conversation, instead of realizing how I perpetuate my own memories of the past and even from my childhood of how I had to be ‘wary’ of people’s words and actions toward me, which is why I became ‘edgy’ as well, not being able to trust others and as I’ve explained before, this is not about ‘trusting others’ but rather trusting me in being able to read/hear words in stability and be able to support myself unconditionally to interact, reply back within the consideration of what is self-supportive both for ‘them’ and ‘myself’ as two or more individuals establishing a communication and settling the way to create a point of communal understanding – not fighting or ‘proving each other right/wrong’

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am in fact perpetuating the current status quo in our relationships where we have focused so much on the winner/loser mentality, the ‘attacker’ and the ‘attacked,’ the bully and the bullied and where we believe that we constantly have to be ‘defending’ ourselves which can only exist if we are ‘coming from’ a starting point of ego as in seeing others as enemies, as ‘the problem,’ as ‘the ignorant ones and oneself being the ‘right one,’ through which we approach another from the vantage point of seeing another as inferior to myself and so believing that I have to ‘educate them’ with ‘what I know’ instead of being actually grateful that there are people that are still willing to reply in a comment to a YouTube video and so be able to hear/get to know what others’ perspectives on a subject and learn from it, see where we still have to ‘align’ our understanding, what are the main points where there is still a point tampering self-realization,  as well as being willing to correct ourselves if necessary and in the possible measure, being able to support and assist another to expand themselves a bit more – maybe point out some aspects they can do further investigation on, other blogs or vlogs to watch/read and so not immediately ‘showing the way out’ when the entire starting point of commenting by the other individual is to precisely establish communication and be able to continue it in the best possible way.

I realize that in our world nothing will be changing if we do not first focus on being able to get to hear /read one another, see where there is a common ground and build it from there, thus no longer existing in the ‘I’ll prove you wrong’ mentality.

 

I also realize that I have to be aware of not seeing myself as ‘the victim’ that is going to be ‘abused/attacked by others’ as in this position of victimization I then justify my ‘getting back at’ others as in ‘having to defend myself’ which is why in this world we, for example, allow the use and existence of guns, because we give into this mentality that ‘I have to protect myself, I have to be armed’ without first investigating why and what causes this abuse in the first place.

 

I realize that I have to stop projecting my past, and my ‘mind-frame’ that I had built around ‘commenting on YouTube’ as in ‘getting myself  into a battlefield’ and instead, read the comments from the starting point of being able to support myself, to learn from another, to see where I can improve my communication, identify and recognize where I wasn’t clear/what I missed and so expand through this communication instead of already wanting to ‘end’ the interaction by placing a comment that could be seen as ‘sparking up reactions’ which previously I had defined as supportive for the person to ‘face themselves’ but, we are in a different stage in our process so I now apply the point of being gentle and supportive with others, the same way that I would like a ‘stranger’ on YouTube to reply to my messages and comments as well, doing to another what I would like to be done unto in the same situation and in all cases for that matter.

 

I commit myself to use the opportunity of interacting with others either through comments on a website, on a forum, on every day conversations/interactions so that I can expand and support myself while at the same time assisting and supporting another, because it is in these seemingly ‘irrelevant’ or ‘small moments’ that actual windows of opportunity exist to ‘connect’ to others and let them also realize that there are solutions, there are people that do not fall into the usual patterns of the divide and conquer mentality, and so this is what I commit myself to living in all aspects of my everyday living and interactions with people from around the globe through the marvelous platform that the Internet is.

 

I commit myself to redirect my judgments upon others being ‘in a defense mode’ and instead be able to in such moments immediately take the point back to self and direct myself toward another in a way wherein I can apply consideration, humbleness, gentleness to place myself in their shoes so that I am able to best support them and expanding ourselves through using words or even behavior, voice tonality that indicates in stability that I am here, I hear you, I understand you, let’s clarify this/let’s expand on this/ have you considered this point about this that you mentioned here? so that it is and becomes a more ‘inviting’ way to continue interacting with another.

 

I commit myself to walk through my own ‘predisposition’ of being in this ‘defense-mode’ so that I can stand here, clear, open, available and willing to communicate and direct another’s questions and sometimes even curiosity and not fall into the ‘attacking-mode’ but to genuinely be able to consider their starting point and so walk-with, instead of walking-against others.

 

I commit my self to live the realization that ‘the enemy’ is really myself and my own assumption, my own mind, my own projections which means that in practicality I am then going to be open to read/hear words without going into reaction, without already ‘preparing’ my artillery to shoot with a barrage of points that have nothing to do with what was initially said either, but to also keep it simple and ‘grow’ the conversation from there.

 

I commit myself to only reply to comments/written and spoken interactions when I have given myself a ‘moment of clarity’ which means when I have breathed and ensured that I am in fact stable, here, that I am taking responsibility for my initial reactions or starting point toward another, and so be more open, willing and available for genuine communication, ensuring I have no interference/noise as my own reactions preventing me from hearing/reading another unconditionally.

 

I commit myself to ‘take back to self’ any judgments I may had toward ‘others’ as ‘them being the attackers’ or ‘them being in a defense-mode’ as in fact, that would mean me reacting in ego towards ego – lol – so the best way to interact with another is to work with the common sense of looking at words themselves, no assumptions, rather asking what they in fact mean if the point is not clear, but generally not jumping into assumptions, not taking my own knowledge, my own ego into consideration when interacting with others, as that’s where the shifts happen and the divide and conquer mentality is re-created, wherein I perceive that another is ‘not the same as myself’ and so I have to ‘prove them wrong’ according to me, which is where the problem exists.

So I instead commit myself to focus on directing the words, the comments, the situation for what it is, devoid of past grudges, preconditioning, preprogramming of ‘how I deal with others that I perceive are attacking me’ as I then live the realization that the ‘attack’ only exists in my mind as memories and experiences that I create when I take another’s words personally or as ‘going against me’ which is the ego-starting point of reading/hearing another, when we ‘take it personally’ instead of realizing that each one’s words relate to oneself only, and so I take self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to in fact become a pillar of support for myself and others which means I cannot judge, I cannot avoid another or see them as ‘less than myself’ or as ‘ignorant’ but instead assist and support myself and others to transcend such limitations of the mind to work with what we have as our statements, see what we can agree upon and expand it from there, as Self Support.

 

So instead I am grateful that this point opened up so I could see what I was doing in this interaction and so be able to give it direction here for once and for all – so, thanks Tyler.

 

7.      Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

 

 

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402. Who am I within Abuse?

I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’

 

Facing the Evil of OUrselves

 

 

Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.

 

Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.

 

We do it to ourselves

 

Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’

 

Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

abuse
1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

1    the improper use of something.
2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
3    insulting and offensive language.

 

I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…

 

God won't save the queen now

 

 

Can I imagine a world without abuse?

It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.

 

When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.

 

In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.

 

My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.

 

I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.

 

Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence

 

In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.

 

God Bless the Child

 

It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.

 

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.

 

I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.

 

Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.

 

I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.

 

Supportive Material:

 

  1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

  2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

5. Deer Human

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

 

 

 

 


353. The Best Regime is Equal Money

 

We haven’t questioned the words we speak as  the nature of actions they contain, we haven’t abolished money as a belief system of debt in function of abuse. If anything it should be a point of great concern how after thousands of years we haven’t ever coexisted in the best way possible where all living beings are equals in all aspects as Life. This is because all our regimes have consisted of structures founded and determined to generate systems of power and control and as such, inequality has been accepted as ‘the way things are’ without a question – it is about time we begin realizing the actual abilities we have to correct this, which begins at an individual level to understand what does constitute an actual goodwill in humanity.

 

Continuing:

 

Problem                                                             

We are  species that have specialized in creating words, placing them in  books full of  statements intended to guide man’s life,  but we haven’t ever lived the ideal and best intentions placed in our constitutions  in order to generate an actual well being in this world that stands as the best way to direct ourselves to live as Equals in harmony and peace. Throughout time we haven’t yet questioned why we seek to ‘Change the World’ and haven’t first looked at why we have allowed ourselves to remain in the damaged and defunct state of the world system that we are attempting to ‘change’ and apparently ‘live’ in; we look at history without realizing that the nature of  humanity has maintained and sustained the same cycles on enslavement because we have failed to understand how it is that each one of us has complied to re-enact the same power structures over and over again, there has been no human evolution but only a change of scenarios that creates the illusion of it.

 

Some others might have had great intentions to change the world system but never actually realizing that only writing and promulgating laws intended to generate common good won’t create a sudden ‘good willed nature’ in humanity; in fact the opposite has happened where currently no one can trust any form of governance or our neighbor because we have made everything so corruptible to the point where we have become subject to participating in a system that is not working according to generate a common well being that is applicable to all, which means everyone is bound to be born into slavery where our politics are based on offense-defense balancing between nations compete against each other to see who can accrue  the most wealth, using resources and man labor as the ‘fuel’ to keep the good life being enjoyed by this winning minority. Every regime has incorporated these ‘particularized’ needs where subjective aspects as points of identification and differentiation  from other states ,were considered as specific directives in their constitutions according to culture, tradition, religion, habits,  which led to the inevitable segregation between humans just because societies became characterized according to the interests of the ruling minority, which would then signify the basis of their  that specialness, their privileges which became the configuration of the way people live in a particular territory: it became people’s binding force of identity that turned into a strong belief of ‘what the people stand for,’  what their purpose in life is and how they view their own life according to these living codes embedded in their particular system.

 

We have always been governed and subject to governance wherein the rules of the game are written by individuals that may or may not have the best interests upon society, however such constitutions are not lived by the individuals and any other form of comparative studies of why this is so are also useless because there is simply no physical common sense that is regarded as universal directives that should be considered as a universal law that we could all abide to by a mere agreement on recognizing the equality that exists within and as ourselves as life.  We can already attest that all form of political philosophy has failed to do its job to generate living lawful principles that human beings could apply and live by to generate the necessary change within the nature of man, as Rousseau claimed.

 

Thinking in terms of ‘What is Best for All’ already get people raising their eyebrows – however this is also proven to be difficult in our lives where no actual educational processes about the nature of the system have been provided in order to understand why equality has been relegated to a fringe term that is de jure present in all constitutions and charters, de facto never lived or applied on Earth. Thus the type of regime determines how people apparently ‘choose’ the decisions based on the values they learn at school, the politics in their nations, it is as if we haven’t yet learned  any other way but what we currently know ‘it’s best’ and continue to accept things as they are. This is for example how we continue to believe that being governed by a few ‘educated people’ that ‘know what they are doing’ because they have been trained to take such positions in the world system are more ‘trustworthy’ than anyone else, which is why the rest will simply follow to deposit faith that it will eventually all work out as intended – whether such intention is to enslave or uplift humanity, same point, we simply agreed to it because we believe we don’t know any better than them. For some others it would be to live in self governed small societies with a religious purpose in order to venerate life and some gods alike – some others can think of a Global Equal State order where all human beings can in fact be free under a single regime where life is valued and lived in Equality. Well, we agree with the latter – however why would this Not Be immediately recognized by every individual as the Best  foundation for a Regime  that can exist?

 

To understand the cognitive dissonance that exists in order for the majority of the people in this world be able deny that Valuing Life in Equality is what’s Best for All, we have to realize that there is an entire educational apparatus existent in order to shape the human mind according to that which will serve a particular nation or regime in the best way possible. It is thus obvious that in a corporate capitalistic system, these values are shaped according to commerce which means consumption, buying and selling, defining our status according to that which own and making ourselves honorable for supporting wars that ensure corporations are well fed with an apparent cause to defend our honor, our security and promoting ‘good values’ such as words that sound like freedom and democracy, but are in no way actually meaning the signification of the words as we know them to be.

 

These are the values that are ‘fought for’ in the country that we’ve used as example for the purpose of understanding the problems in our world, the United States of America  (for more you can read the entire series 307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness and the rest of the posts after this one) This is thus what defines how a person lives, how life is conceived, what their every moment is veered toward and lived for which in a society like the contemporary American culture, is to obtain happiness – this might not seem different to the same purpose placed by human beings in ancient times, however the How and What makes people happy is what has been upgraded according to the current regime. This is how words are defined according to that which serves the establishment – an example is how happiness for an individual can be founded upon being rich, owning properties all over the world, traveling, sitting by a pool drinking and admiring the scene of a ‘good life’ while for others happiness would mean having potable water, food, shelter and dignified living conditions – it must be very clear what has shaped our particular and personalized values no matter in which nation we live in, which is Money. As long as we still see through the eyes of the characterization that words have gained within a particular regime, we will continue to ignore common sense such as understanding in a physical common sense what is Best for All which is explained in the first post of this series.

 

The problem is when we talk about being a ‘good citizen’ and being a ‘good human being’ – Citizenship is related to the particular contract we are born into as part of particular nation or state – this is what we sign ourselves into from our birth certificate till the moment our Death Certificate which is a state of de-function which means we are no longer functional to the purpose we were signed into as part of our countries functioning as corporations. This Good citizenship ties in with what was explained in terms of the System  Honesty and Integrity discussed earlier in this series, wherein we abide to the norms, the values, the laws and regulations of our particular regimes simply because that is all we have ever known and we also know that if we don’t abide to that, we can get the opposite of reward which is punishment and as such, fear is the counter act to maintain people in a ‘good citizenship’ status as a reward to never question why such regime is not working according to that which is best for all, which is a question we all should have asked ourselves by now, yet even if we have, we haven’t done anything to change the reality of this until now.

 

A regime is not only a structure and several institutions that govern us, it is an entire way of living and establishes the foundation for everything we do, how we live and how we relate to one another. It constitutes an ethos   and so far all of the different regimes have catered for a diversity based on particular interests  that are mutually exclusive.

 

It should already be known that much before our monetary systems were in place, there has always been a form of order in our societies established through force creating rights and such dominant forces shaped our constitutions wherein the so-called ‘best conditions for everyone’ were shaped according to a particular culture, religion, , traditions, language and meaning of words, time and space context,  habits, etc. It is thus to understand how by the differentiation in how we understand the world through the meanings we acquire/ learn  in our particular educational/indoctrination  systems,  we create ideological, philosophical, moral and ethical barriers  in order to justify one single thing: the inability of man to live in Equality, the inability to actually put 1+1 together and realize that the simplicity to create what is Best for All is actually physically evident. Why haven’t we done this then? Because we are so used to merely following orders and being told what to do by a few as long as we don’t have to partake in the necessary involvement that managing and directing our lives actually requires, wherein not only a few should be interested in the frameworks that define the way we live and take the positions that enables them to do what they see is ‘best’ according to their particular interests. We have accepted and allowed things as they are, because we get to have a ‘good life’ where money becomes the alternative to govern ourselves by the power embedded in money and not by the laws that could do this without having to ‘strive’ to make a living or compete to make the most.

 

Our current regimes are based on self-serving ‘living philosophies’ based on generating a feel good experience according to the amount of money that we have, which goes unquestioned because as long as our nature is not challenged in its root and instead fed by ‘how the system works’ – which is again the nature of greed, competition, selfishness, abuse and negligence  as the actual evil as the reverse of life, as everything that exists in the negative conditions that prevent the emergence of any actual goodness in man – we will continue studying theories about great societies while claiming the best regime is in fact ‘Utopic’ and lacking actuality – yes, this is not a coincidence either that we believe it to be such a ‘high end’ in itself such an impossible thing to concretize in reality,  just because we haven’t learned to become self governed individuals that understand that there we don’t require a Leviathan to take care of ourselves if each individual is able to live by principles that create a living regime where Life is Valued and Lived in Equality. Who has then accepted and allowed the limitation to live in an Equal Freedom? Us.

 

Many claim that this Best Regime is idealistic in nature, it is superior to all because it is all encompassing as a Global System which should be based on Life in Equality and Oneness – yet again, we have to look at Human Nature as the Problem to make this a reality which draws us back to the initial point: if the Regime and ‘ways of the system’ is created by human beings, then what must be changed is the human nature in itself. De jure the constitutions to create the best regime do exist, de facto none of them are lived and applied, there is no actuality to a Best for All Regimes and even if we all physically understand what we require to live and know what would be the best way to coexist, we like to think that there is a form of specialness in opposing commonality, just because we learned how to praise individuality and superiority, without ever pondering how these ‘values’ are supporting the separation and abuse that some even dare to project and blame onto authorities for not recognizing them as our individual guarantees according to the laws, we are the ones that in fact make the life of the system be unequal in nature. Who are the real double edged swords then? Our words that have not been lived in a way to honor all life in equality yet.

 

 

Solution                                                              

  • “We Declare Our Intention to Support, Nurture and Defend the rights of all Human Beings who walk upon this Earth and who share the Gift and Breath of Life. This intention is founded upon the recognition that all Sentient Beings are endowed with the unalienable rights of self-determination and the fundamental assurances of the minimum qualities of life, such assurances to be fulfilled by having the necessities of life such as proper nourishment, clothing, shelter, access to knowledge and education, training for fulfilling capacities to support and sustain their lives and their families, to be integrated within their relationships of social, economic, familial and community bonds.

     

    It is Our Dedicated Intention That We Shall Strive to assist all those in need in order that they may provide for themselves and their families the means of establishing the fundamental requirements of life while on this Earth. We shall be guided by our consciences and our intentions to honor all life forms and all human beings on our planet, and all sentient beings in existence as a whole, to apply our efforts to uplift and sustain the qualities of life that we wish to have for ourselves and our families, and to continue in our efforts until all on this planet have achieved such a goal. In so doing, we fulfill the law that states, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

    Ken Cousens

  • Removing Idealism from the term ‘Best Regime’ implies doing the opposite of thinking, which is acting, directing, convening, participating  and creating living agreements where all participants commit themselves to be co-creators of a new living system in and of Equality as Life. Within the Equal Money System which is the Equality System by excellence, we will undermine the potential harm existent in words and will direct ourselves to integrate the living principles that generate a Best for All living condition as part of our day to day interaction and participation in our world in and as the words that we speak. This is part of understanding that we are the system, we create the regime and just as language gets to a point of death if there are no more speakers that use it, we have to become the life of that new language as the words that will ensure the Best Regime is  lived in our very own words in every single moment that we are Here, coexisting and participating with everyone in order to make our lives possible.

 

  •   It is time to let go of being ‘good citizens’/ ‘good slaves’ to a system of abuse and instead understand the physical laws that govern our nature which is Life in Equality as what is Best for All. We are witnessing and becoming the living understanding of how it is that our world can in fact be if each individual lives by principle and not by negative enforcement to survive in a world of fixed scarcity, debt that sounds like death and antiquated values based on a power structure founded upon money as a relationship of abuse. It is crystal clear how the ability to change the world, to create the best living regime possible does not exist in one single book or ancient text with a magic formula to it, it is happening now, it is being presented by the corpus of the educational material available at Desteni and Equal Money, which are the two Educational and Directive Principled Pillars to be lived by each individual in order to manifest the change that we require to implement in this world.

 

  • The state current crisis in our word is sufficient evidence for us to open our eyes and understand that it is only in Equality, working Together and honoring each other as Equals as Life that we can come to this simple realization where the Best Living Regime exists the moment all living beings are equally  supported to live the best possible way, where all Nations become one single global estate that is no longer distinguished by a need to have more power over others,  but instead it is one lived and understood as a single organism living in absolute homeostasis and in symbiotic relationships.

 

 

Read about : Politics in Equal Money

Rewards                                                              

  • No more political philosophy, no more sociological theories on all the various aspects that could ‘better’ human life because we will all be living in a physical understanding of what is Best for All and as such, direct and dedicate our lives to creating this new Equality World Order based on understanding our inherent interdependence in this social organism.

 

  • Any personal preference that does not oppose, threaten or harm this physical common sense will be able to be lived and integrated as part of our individual expression through our habits, ways of communicating, entertainment and personal inclinations as long as no other being is coerced to follow it, as long as no other living being is abused or harmed in such practices. This is how we can understand that our constant well being in a state of harmony, self honesty and interdependence is the happiness that was bought and sold in the ‘old days.’ We are here to finally integrate the living principles that will ensure all children are born into life and not into death as it happens in our current system. 

 

  • The ability to define and direct for the very first time an actual Living Regime in Equality is and will be sufficient proof that we have gotten to Equalize ourselves as life, which means we can only exist in such a system if Self Realization is lived by each individual co-operating and participating in it. 

 

  • It is about time we unite under the same symbol-less flag that denotes the unity between all men and women as equals, along with all other living creatures that coexist here and that must be Equally regarded as part of the necessary jurisdiction to ensure their well being as that is what we all want for ourselves and our generations to come into this world.

 

 

 

 

 

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351. The Problem of Human Nature and Equal Money

 

Human Nature  is the actual source of the problem in this world – by this we refer to the traits that exist as self interest in our minds with which we separate ourselves from the physical common sense of Equality as Life. It is about time we understand that it is not only the Environment that is the problem that shapes Human Behavior, but instead realize how we have created such environment as the image and likeness of our mind.

Continuing:

 

 

Problem                                                                

“Human nature refers to the distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have naturally, i.e. independently of the influence of culture. The questions of what these characteristics are, what causes them, and how fixed human nature is, are amongst the oldest and most important questions in western philosophy. These questions have particularly important implications in ethics, politics, and theology. This is partly because human nature can be regarded as both a source of norms of conduct or ways of life, as well as presenting obstacles or constraints on living a good life. The complex implications of such questions are also dealt with in art and literature, while the multiple branches of the Humanities together form an important domain of inquiry into human nature, and the question of what it means to be human.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_nature

 

  • Human Nature is the most common excuse that we as humans use in order to justify that it is impossible to change the world, because ‘human nature’ is just ‘who we are/ how we are/ what we do and how we will always continue to be’ this has become the perfect way to keep people at bay and not attempt to question and change their own lives, and the lives of others because, once this human nature premise is accepted as an irreparable conduct, any solution to the problems of this world will only be sought outside of ourselves, keeping this inherent ‘nature’ intact and unquestioned, because ‘that which makes us human’ such as emotions, feelings and a strong sense of self-importance above others is ‘who we are and have always been.’  All that is recognized is that we have always been greedy, envious, selfish, egotistical beings that are always seeking to better ourselves upon others, always competing, having no sense of social responsibility,  always hungry for power and wealth to have control over others without realizing it is all done in the name of fear; this sociopathic behavior has been accepted as who we ‘are’ by default and it’s often believed to only be the consequence of the environment, but it isn’t.

 

  • It is only now that we are able to understand the mind that we realize how it is that we have created the environment as a result of all of these human traits that are the origin of the nature of our societies and power structures alike. We believe it is only the nature of some ‘vile’ individuals  that have set up this massive prison, but it is not true, we built it ourselves through our own Accepted and Allowed nature with no intention to question it or change it. Instead we glorified it through our mutual acceptance of the excuse ‘But I am only human’ and ‘In the end I am human and make mistakes/ become emotional’ and even got to praise these mind experiences through  artistic demonstrations wherein all the human is able to create from the starting point of being an individual with an eternal inner conflict between emotions, feelings and the real world. This became part of the universal traits that we  only learned we had to learn how to ‘cope with.’ It is within such belief and acceptance that we have created our absolute enslavement by our own mind and hands.
    • To Understand the nature of the Mind, it is important to study the Desteni Material, an investigation for over 7  years about the actual systematic nature of the mind that has been unknown to ourselves until now. You can visit the Desteni Articles to begin reading part of this continuous investigation.

 

  • Human Nature  can’t be changed” –  this is  a mind definition with no awareness of who we are as the mind, who we are as a physical body, our beingness and our relationship with this physical existence throughout time;  we have always accepted and allowed ourselves to say ‘it is how it always has been’ and in that prevent anyone from actually beginning to question that which we have always taken for granted, which is our ability to think, to become emotional, to create value systems and create relationships based on individual self interest.  We can look at how even the ability to question these ‘traits’ is already seen as something that is threatening to our nature, to ‘that which makes us humans’ which means that we have reduced ourselves to only be emotional and feeling energetic systems that act in self interest with no regard to the physical laws that govern our reality and our own physical stability. It is certain that if in our minds we regarded ourselves as physical beings that have the same attributes as everyone else – such as a physical body requiring food, water, shelter, clothing, etc. – the ability to understand Equality would be greater, however this is not so and this explains to what extent we are literally brainwashed ourselves to not recognize that all points of ‘individuality’ as preferences, characters, emotional traits are only but mind configurations that generate the first obstacle to recognize each other as Equals in the physical common sensical meaning of the word. We could create an entire treaty on human nature, but for that I suggest reading the blogs as well as the Desteni Material to understand more about who we are as the Mind, our Nature and how to reflect ourselves upon the words contained in these websites:

 

  • The fact is that there are very few aspects about the nature of the mind generally known by humanity at this stage with regards to our creation and origin, our purpose in this reality. Even psychology as the science that is supposed to study the nature of the mind and behavior of the human being is only existing as a coping mechanism to deal with  ‘human nature’ or simply redirect the usual human traits mentioned earlier, but there has never been an actual re-educational process at an individual level to prove that through getting to know ourselves as our mind as the ability to recognize all the patterns that have led us to the current consequences we’re facing in our world and reality, and establishing a Principle to live by in common sense as what is Best for All we can become a human being that stops existing in the same full acceptance to our mind as ‘who we are’ and start living as an individual that begins to understand how we can only ensure our personal well being if we ensure each other’s well being in Equality.

 

  • We have become the victims of our own beliefs and experiences in this reality – we created gods or systems to take care of ourselves, delegating any responsibility to never realize that it was in fact us that created the very prison we now complain about; this prison exists at a Mind Level which we eventually externalized as the nature of our world system and environment. We can have to look at how the inequality existent in this world is the result of every single inferiority and superiority belief or complex that we believe is ‘real’ and ‘who we are’ and what we have a ‘right to live by,’ which are nothing but accepted and allowed beliefs, ideas and perceptions we have of ourselves in relation to other human beings; for example, we can look at  how we envy others fortune, good looks or personalities and then think that such inner experience and opinion upon others has no effect on the ‘outside world’ – well, it obviously does and every single thought, action/ inaction and spoken or kept quiet word has an effect on everything and everyone in our reality, because we are all coexisting in the same physical reality where every single relationship we form toward another reflects on the mechanisms that run our lives in the ‘greater picture’ as our world system. This means that the environment, the systems, the agreements, the unspoken rules with which we direct ourselves are directly stemming from these accepted and allowed self beliefs on multiple levels that have gotten ourselves to exist the way we do now where we are fearing each other in a constant manner, we are fighting and competing to every other individual that we conceive as an enemy of sorts in this world and reality that we have turned into a battle field where life has been reduced to a winning or losing situation.

 

 

  • The problem is self evident every time that we study the laws, policies, constitutions and ‘behavioral codes’ existent in every organization, institution and system that defines how we live our lives where No life is actually considered, but only interests are kept safe from other only those that have the most money have the ability to protect themselves, and for the most part they are used to make money when it is convenient to allege that there is some form of infringement happening so that these individual interests above the rest are always the ones that are considered first – this means there is no common sense or any sense of honoring life in our legal and political systems, because we have created the world system in such a way that our interests are ‘mutually exclusive’ which makes Equality impossible when pondering self interest over common sense.

 

  • When a new living system where we can all live as Equals is presented and proposed, the usual comments point out that ‘we as humans will always want more than others’ and how ‘there will always be someone that wants to take control of the situation’ and this is why we have created world systems that enable this abuse. Is this preventable? Yes it is, and this is part of the primary premises that must be considered when looking at a process to Change the World in a practical and viable manner. At the moment none of these considerations exist because we have disregarded to look at the root and cause of the ‘problem in the system’ which is within each one of us, in our mind, in our own behavior and preferences that override common sense – this is what creates the environment as a reflection of this nature wherein only individual interests are cared for, and any regard to consider everyone as Equals is seen as a threat to this individuality that is protected and guarded mostly with money at the moment. This means that we in fact fear having ‘the same as everyone else’ because of our belief that it is okay for us to want more than what we have, and aspire to have control over others for our own benefit. The current individual interests that we exist as are founded upon abuse, because every time that only the interests of a few are guarded we must know that the majority will be disregarded and abused to create such well being for only a few, which is what has happened throughout history.

 

  • We cannot just blame the environment and victimize ourselves for the nature of the people that govern us.  They are equal to us and everyone else that has accepted the mind-experience of thinking, desiring and experiencing belief systems to be real which is how the power that we have agreed to endow to them is legitimized through our own acceptance and allowance of this nature as ‘normal’ to human beings. This resides as the acceptance of ‘who we are’ and how we have understood each other to be throughout generations where we never questioned why some individuals had more money/power/influence over the population than others and how we shaped the system in itself to adopt these type of facts as ‘true,’ which became the very laws that currently conduct our lives.

 

 

To be continued with Solutions and Rewards in the following post… 

 

 

 

 

 

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