Category Archives: death

488. Social Expectations and Self-Honesty

Or how to face a situation like a funeral in a balance of what is politically correct and what is our genuine expression in the moment.

For the last two days I was in a situation of facing the death of a close person and the attendance of a funeral for the second time ever in my life and to say the least, I had not yet created a way in which I can trust myself in those situations considering there are several aspects that I got to take into account, leading to a situation where I doubted myself at times that can be uncomfortable yet entirely self-created of course. So I’ll share here the raw process of me going through the whole lay out of the points and the self-forgiveness process wherein I establish common sense and points for me to correct/align in future similar situations.

Even if I had dealt with the sadness point about this person eventually dying it an accepting it, realizing that as we know, no one ever really dies and he’s probably facing his process in the afterlife right now, at the same time having to also be participating in all the processes that come after the person dies with the family became a new set of situations that I had not faced in my life therefore they became quite a part of myself to get to know and investigate further.

First of all, saw a dead person for the first time in my life. I saw myself not wanting to do it based on some kind of fear of ‘seeing a dead person’ but I did it in order to do it for once and for all and I found it a bit disturbing to say the least, I judged doing so as a form of morbid move as if there was something ‘to see’ in a dead body at the same time, which ended up being a printed image in my mind that I got stuck on for some time, seeing myself imagining how I would look dead, how my partner would look dead, how my parents will look dead and in that moment I said to myself like ‘whoa wait a minute what am I participating on?’ which was of course just a mental stimulation with no practical use, not even if for the purpose of getting comfortable with the idea of all of us dying at some point anyways, because it’s not here so, just indulging in imagination about it won’t certainly be supportive at this very moment.

Many times before I’ve skipped funerals altogether, I did not see the point and also feared seeing others sad and so fearing myself becoming sad and in a powerless situation. But after a while of reading others’ experiences and considerations around funerals, I decided to attend and be part of most of the processes involved in it this time and ensuring that I was making a decision to do so as my own volition, not self-compromise, but this wasn’t entirely so in various moments where I consider I succumbed my idea/belief or perception of what others’ expectations were based on the situation, where I saw myself being torn into what I consider my self-honesty in those moments and doing what I thought was going to ‘please others’ based on expectations of what to be and do in such situations where people are visibly mourning.

One thing I recalled from my first funeral I attended back in 2001 is how I could not feel a thing, therefore I started thinking myself into sadness in order to cry and then feel like I had been up to the expectations of what goes on in a funeral. This time I decided to be there for my own sake and to be with my family which I can say is my family even if ‘political’ but have spent many times together with them so, yep it was  of course sad for me but we got to know of this situation coming more than a month ago, so there was time to process it yet I found myself still not entirely settled in ‘who I am’ in moments of mourning and what to say or do to support others.

So here I’m starting to investigate my experience and make sense of it: what am I aware of? I made the decision to be accompanying the family in all the processes, from the waiting of the funerary services, which means seeing the body on the bed ‘as is,’ to seeing it leave to the funerary, to accompanying it to the funerary, to waiting for it to be received, etc. I saw it also as a learning experience, a first time in it all while also wanting to be of support in any way I could around there.

This part I found myself a bit too clumsy on, which might be a judgment. To me there was not so much of a point to have so many considerations for a body there, while I know that the being is no longer there and then it’s just a matter of rather being there for the family. It was surprising to find out about all the procedures and legal situations that need to be directed when a person dies – again, it was a learning experience but I also saw myself a bit conflicted in terms of whether I had to present myself in a particular situation or not. I decided to simply be a point of tranquility and stability during that phase to assist in any  way I could – but there wasn’t anything I got to actually ‘do’ in it all but just be there.

This ‘just be there’ clicks in me as if it was something that was ‘not enough’ or ‘minimal’ but it is me, it’s my presence, not defined through a ‘doing’ per se, but we were there the same way that we had been with all the same people in previous family reunions.

When I saw that I got a bit too conflictive was when it comes to assessing what was ‘sufficient’ in terms of time and moments of being there with the family and it was actually many hours throughout the past two days, practically whole afternoon until midnight in all the processes and even if we were suggested that we could leave at any time, I would assess ‘in my mind’ based on ‘what is acceptable and what is not’ by others, how ‘others’ would see it and in this is where self-compromise existed. I didn’t want to leave the spot, I didn’t want to cause an impression of ‘not caring about the person’ because in fact even if my interaction with the person wasn’t ‘that much’ every time it was actually very genuine and that’s what I am most grateful for about that situation that we could go beyond ‘age difference’ or ‘roles’ and speak frankly about things, which is also he liked about myself and my partner, not really ‘playing a show’ or being hypocritical as he would say, but just ‘be ourselves.’

So, in those moments of facing some coldness and hunger at times, some sleepiness too, I saw that I wanted to ‘stick up’ to being strong or resilient and supportive, while at the same time doubting myself altogether whether I should be there or not, whether it was of any support for others or not, whether it was best for us to leave or not, so in essence deciding to stick by based on doing it for others, to accompany them and also in a way of considering the memory of the person that died even though I know that he’s not ‘here’ or near his body but possibly walking his life review right now.

I decided then that we should stick through it all from beginning to end, taking some breaks in between but it was my first ‘full-fledged’ process of funeral in my life and I can use this experience as a way to learn more about myself in a situation like that and also confronting the point of judging myself as ‘not sure of myself’ in many situations or how to ‘act’ towards some people, because sometimes one doesn’t feel sad and I tend to be very transparent about it then judging myself as possibly being perceived that ‘I don’t care enough because I’m not sad or concerned’ which I did challenge as a belief within myself, not playing an emotion as a form of empathy towards others, while at the same time yes considering others’ pain and sorrow, and in some points yes admitting that I cried along with seeing some family members cry at the same time as a realization of their loss and that’s where I pushed myself to give a hand, to caress their back and simply be there for support .

Therefore I see that I have to let go of the judgment towards my actions in wanting to frame them as adequate or not, good enough or not, because as much as there are ways and certain politics or protocols in such situations, I can create an equilibrium between yes, adapting myself to it without compromising myself too much.

Where did I see the compromise? Well, when the coffin was open and the body was inside, people were going to greet it and say their goodbyes. I could not rationalize that it would have any meaning other than looking at an image of the person in the body and upon seeing everyone’s reaction to it, I considered that it was also a bit of a morbid situation, while at the same time rationalizing that ‘ok, it’s just a dead body, if I am resisting looking at it again, it’s based on the first impression I had the day before I saw the body ‘raw’ on the bed where he died’ and this time he already had some touch ups from the funerary, so I decided to look at the body and then the inevitable happened of course, the image triggered the actual realization of ‘the person is dead’ and you won’t ever see him again. So, there I cried a bit again which a part of me wanted to prevent and suppress while another was saying just let go and cry it out, while at the same time judging the emotional aspect of myself since it seemed ‘out of my control’ to handle.

In essence, yes as one can read, I was in a constant assessment and questioning of ‘what would be best for all’ to do in those moments, so I decided to not look at what I would like to do that much, but more look at others, the reason for this funeral to exist is not so much for the dead person – he’s not here anymore –but for the family, and that’s something I kept reminding myself so focused on being there as a point of presence for my family, for the family in general and as partner says, we are part of a social situation so we have to participate the same way others do and yes, learn from this situation for future ones because death is the most certain thing that happens to every person and not even our ‘tomorrow’ is secured, to any of us.

I also practiced simply breathing and being quiet within myself in those moments where there wasn’t really ‘much to do’ or not much happened. I also didn’t go into participating in the thoughts or memories about the person because I knew that would be a direct trigger to start crying or being sad about it, and I didn’t do that. I focused on what was in my surroundings and learned to be there with others in a similar manner, while at the same time ensuring I am not taken over in any emotional way, except for the couple of crying moments that didn’t last long.

I realize I have to also let go of judging myself if getting emotional in a situation like that. As it’s been shared in some material, one can cry and let it all out as a point of release, but at the same time ensuring that one is not ‘thinking oneself into crying’ either.

It also was an interesting situation because funerals and the death of a relative are such ‘common situations’ but funnily enough I had avoided going at those for such a long time, though due to the closeness with this person, I genuinely decided to be part of it, which is cool, I can see that I decided to live the word Empathy here in the sense of not become equally sad as everyone there, but decide to stand as a presence that can be more stable, breathe, and simply be there as a person that is there in the memory of the person that died and to be with the family. Here I have to for a moment be considerate and let go of more of my ‘radical self’ that would say that it is all useless as he’s not ‘there’ anymore and it is only a way to cry-out many regrets, fears or projections of our own death, but nope, I decided to be clear within me and not project, not judge others but there still was more of a questioning on how adequate I was in those situations – and instead learn from it, not judge myself over it, because it is in fact something relatively new.

We can only learn from making either decision – one or the other – because as partner says, if one see-saws then there are fears and then I have to look at what were those fears which I can see are related more into ‘what others might say’ rather than learning to trust myself, my consideration and not fearing making a ‘mistake’ in such a ‘delicate situation’ but all of these are like ‘special values’ I’ve attached to a situation like a funeral, which I should start embracing as any other part of our social interactions too.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project onto others ideas, beliefs and expectations about ‘how I should be and behave’ and in this compromising myself within these beliefs within me that I thought I had to ‘stick to’, which actually I ended up shattering once that I saw how the whole funeral indeed became like a small reunion of the family where eventually the sadness and protocol were past and people were able to relax a bit after some of the processes involved in the funeral were done, as well as realizing that I had created this whole idea about funerals in my head, from movies or situations that are not realistic in how things and people actually go and behave in them, so I confirm my own brainwashing, lol.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my actions and interactions during a funeral as inadequate or possibly not good enough when there is actually no ‘standard’ for it all nor is there any morality that I should adjust to, other than instead going in accordance to the actions and activities that are part of the funeral and remain in stability while being accompanying others in such moments, letting go of the idea that I have to ‘be sad or show sadness’ and instead continue pushing myself to be ok with being stable and rather of a supportive stance in the midst of it all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge crying in a funeral as a weakness, as a form of ‘being in my mind’ upon seeing the person in the coffin which actually could have also triggered the idea of ‘no longer seeing the person around’ while at the same time remembering the times with them,  while at the same time invariably considering the death of everyone around me in that moment as something that I’ll face in one way or another – therefore, I can embrace death, death people as in dead bodies in front of me and see them for what they are, matter, while reminding myself that this funeral process is more for the living than the dead and that no matter ‘who dies’, I am here, I am breathing and anything I am fearing in relation to death I have to process for myself from the get go in order to not be holding on to judgments, ideas, beliefs around death and funerals and the social situation in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an idea that I should be ‘beyond’ this situation of funerals in terms of getting emotional in it, which can instead create a suppression if I have already participated in any form of sadness around it and as such, releasing it through crying makes sense for the body and myself, instead of holding myself back and causing more suppression in my body which I consider I created in me, experiencing a flu at the moment which sounds like a participation in the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fears around the future of my parents dying, others in that same funeral dying and how I’ll have to take care of the situation which I managed to also turn into a constructive discussion with my parents to get to know more of the facts around their funerals and time of death, which has also become very much like a taboo topic that over the years I’ve been opening up more, but I could see how based on reactions I saw they had upon touching the subject, it was definitely not a ‘desired topic’ but they were ok to explain some things, which is cool and in this I rather turn those ‘fears’ into something practical where I know where I can look at the prevention and practicality of these points to look at.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into a future projection of how hard it must be to have parents die and how much I will cry or suffer when they are gone, and in doing so don’t stop myself from indulging into this imagination, wherein even if it could be a practical imagination and I considered how it would be reasonable to cry and be sad, there was also a fear of ‘not being able to be stable enough’ or ‘losing my ground’ which I rather hereby let go of the judgment towards a situation as the death of relatives, family, friends, partners that I will most likely face in my lifetime and instead be ok with whatever emerges in that moment, not judging sadness for the death of someone close to me as a weakness or a fall, but instead seeing it as a momentary process that I will also overcome with time and self-support, so here realizing that death of others is not the end of the world, no matter how hard it is at times, I am here, I’m breathing, I’m alive and so I rather not look too much into a future that I cannot ensure for myself either and instead, I can trust myself that when the time comes, I can deal with the situation in self-support.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have tried to ‘break the taboo’ around the topic of death through speaking about it, asking how I would like to be buried or how others would like to be buried while at the same time still doing so within an inherent fear of actually having to face such moments – so here applies the point of ‘who we are’ in what we do, because even if I might seem comfortable in asking these questions and they can be in fact genuinely supportive to look at for practical reasons, if I am still existing as fear of facing those moments, then I am still having to let go of the fear of ‘what if’ for a future moment, stick to my present and trust myself I’ll be able to handle it when time comes, because death is the only certainty that we all have in this reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of loss toward the people that are close to me and wanting to believe that ‘I’ll survive it, I’ll be strong about it’ when in fact I don’t know and can’t know, and have to accept that it might not be an ‘easy time’ for me, yet what I do know is that  I can eventually overcome it with continuing focusing on living and supporting myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self-doubt about my actions and ways in general during a funeral wherein I am focusing more on what I am ‘for others’ and doing what is ‘expected’ instead of rather deciding to be the directive principle of myself there, doing what others do that I find is supportive like being there with the family, without indulging into emotions if they are not ‘here’ – meaning, not pretending for the sake of empathy – and at the same time, not judging myself if I do become emotional in them, wherein then I can come and write and see what other fears or points opened up in my through this experience and so instead of seeing this experience through the eyes of ‘fearing making a mistake’ or ‘not being up to the expectations’ – which are my own anyways – I can learn from myself in those contexts and continue being honest with myself about my experience, while realizing that I can stabilize myself and I can prevent emotional buildups through writing and reasoning through a death process as a preventive measure, but at the same time, not to judge if I cannot ‘contain’ myself in those moments. What matters is being able to stand up from those moments, not judging myself for being ‘at my weakest’ during the death of a person close to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have wanted to play the strong one that doesn’t cry at all and that is ever stable when I have to also be self-honest in my experience and be ok with me being sad or crying at a funeral, while also keeping an eye on not being entertaining memories or ideas that lead to a continuous crying that is then being constantly generated by the mind and that I consider will also depend on the relationship with the person, the time spent with them and so not judging others when I do see them ‘break down’ and be very sad in those moments of mourning the death of a loved one. I have to embrace those situations as aspects of our humanity that might be difficult to completely face with zero emotions. Therefore not to judge myself as emotions, but rather ensuring I am not manipulating myself into emotions and instead let them out once that they are there and support myself to stand up again from such times/moments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that we will miss him in family reunions because of his good sense of humor, kindness and embracing towards us for who we are, understanding our sometimes unconventional ways of being and enjoying that of ourselves, believing that then ‘no one’ will have that same stance towards ourselves, but here I can then apply the ‘miss-him’ to me-is-him realization whenever in future moments it comes up that we are missing him in our reunions, to rather live that kindness, welcoming, embracing, non-compromising expression he had with us, as well as with a good sense of humor and live it out ourselves, to continue being cordial to others and rather continue applying those words as myself toward others. That way I take the words, the aspects of him that I found most supportive and enjoyable and make it a point to live them as myself and so toward others.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to feel a bit powerless in wanting to help others that were in notorious grief and wanting to assist them in one way or another, expecting some kind of ‘result’ from it, instead of rather being unconditional with my presence and support and understanding how my desire to stop them suffering is still coming from a fear of them remaining in suffering, so I rather let go of a desired outcome of what my support should do for others and instead express it as myself, no judgment, no expectation, letting go of what’s right or wrong, but be able to trust my common sense in such moments and let go of the judgments, no matter how ‘new’ a situation might be for me, common sense is common sense.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an expectation towards myself in a funeral as in ‘wanting to be of support for others’ and so trying to find any way in which I could be ‘there’ as a point of support, which didn’t came through in any notorious manner, therefore here I have to let go of my desire to ‘be of support’ and instead embrace my presence as that, a presence that is there for myself and for others wherein I can then assist when and as I see is possible or required of me, but this does not mean that I am ‘only there wanting to support’ because then I condition myself, my decisions and my expression as in wanting to be ‘of support’ for others only.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to at times also consider whether I should be there at all, if we were not much of an ‘extra burden’ in such moments where I was assessing then in terms of ‘hierarchy of importance’ and ‘who’s who in the zoo’ in that situation based on ‘how close’ each person was to the person that died etc. instead of just being able to embrace my own conviction  of wanting to be there as my decision and that of everyone else that was also participating in their own decision – so I have to stop indulging into ‘what ifs’ in such situations, because yes as much as others could compromise themselves in not wanting to be rude to some people and ask them to leave, I also cannot create ideas about what others are desiring in relation to my presence there either. I can only be the one that is sincerely there as a personal conviction and so, others could do the same in relation to embracing me or not around and communicate about it. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be ‘politically correct’ in a situation such as the death of a person, wherein it actually comes from a desire to be doing the ‘right thing’ in such situations but the reality is that it is many times a new experience for everyone therefore, there is no ‘right or wrong’ or expectations around it, but simply doing what’s necessary to do in such situations, following protocols while assisting oneself to remain calm and not feeding our minds with fears and experiences, while at the same time embracing the emotions if they are here at times.

 

I saw various points opened up throughout these past days and I noticed how in several moments I had to go making sure I am doing things within my own volition and decision, breaking through a pattern of avoiding funerals and instead testing out ‘who am I’ in them, in a way facing a fear of death in general I suppose that is more in relation to seeing others being sad or mourning and fearing that within myself.

I have to make peace with a process of mourning, that’s for sure and it’s something I’ll face probably several times in my life, therefore I rather assist myself with prevention and learning from this experience, which is another way to get to know myself.

 

Ultimately I have to consider and remind myself do as I’d like to be done unto – and in this yes I would not like people to be sad when I am dead but rather take one or two points they learned from me and live them through in their own lives, that would be awesome so, this process goes beyond ‘a funeral’ really, it can be turned into much more of what that person lived and what we can learn from each other and continue the life of these individuals through words we saw them live and live them ourselves.

 

Thanks for reading

 

For anyone seeking support on facing the death of loved ones , please read through the following blogs from Sunette to understand the process of mourning at a mind and physical level, very supportive:

Shock, Trauma and Stress: DAY 479 | Heaven’s Journey to Life

Shock, Trauma and Stress (Part Two): DAY 480 | Heaven’s 

Relationships and Death: DAY 481 | Heaven’s Journey to Life

Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself – DAY 491 | 

Losing someone is like Losing a part of Myself (Part 2) – DAY 

 

To anyone wanting to know first hand shares from the life in the afterlife:

Death Review Series: This series consists of personal stories of beings during their process of death in various contexts and situations, detailing the relationship between the mind, body and beingness.

 

Life Review Series: This series consists of hundreds of personal stories of beings who passed, crossed over and reviewed their lives – all to share with us what they faced, what they learned and how they did or could have lived solutions.

 

Mourning Flu

 

 

join in the Process of Life


402. Who am I within Abuse?

I’ve been looking at the word abuse for quite some time now and how we are so used on ‘calling out abuse’ but never really understanding the process as SELF-abuse at all times.

Why do I keep coming back to this topic/word or aspect of ourselves? It seems to be a point within me that I’ve explored only through reading books, using images to depict the consequences that I believe/believed we deserve for abusing ourselves, each other and the planet and how the most shocking revelations within my life came to be within the realization of every single point of abuse being in fact my own expression as well – how? through the understanding of the mind-mechanics, the processes that take place in my mind toward myself, my physical body every time that I participate in thinking, becoming emotional and essentially as we know the usual functioning of our body which also requires energy to exist. The sheer relationship of Energy and how it is created implies a process of friction in order to be created. You can imagine the creation of fire by rubbing to sticks which is essentially creating friction so that the sparks can ignite the dry wood into fire. This is a rather elementary explanation, but this is to understand how it is that the creation of energy in itself is not a self-supportive process – once you burn the twigs or wood, you consume it, it transforms into ashes. Well, the same happens with ourselves and our bodies with all the energy we create every time we participate in the mind through emotions/feelings or thoughts that are also charged with an experience in them. Essentially we create our internal ‘oil spills’ in our body, even when one can get angry for calling out abuse so, this is how it is rather necessary to understand this process of SELF-Abuse before even being willing to ‘call out on abuse’

 

Facing the Evil of OUrselves

 

 

Energy is also the motive, the driving force in our outside world and we’ve even created a structure, a belief system to represent it, it is the monetary system that we’ve used to essentially control and define power, and as such we have enslaved us through making it only available to those that work hard for it – apparently – or those that can give themselves the right to print it by their divine hand. Is that abuse? Well yes first of all because we’re using trees to create such ‘money’ but also because it is meant to precisely limit the access to our living resources. It is thus why we are so bound to it, we live in constant fear of survival and that’s for sure another way of abusing each other through this structural violence we have created as our current world system where either you work and/or cheat or die.

Isn’t that the sheer definition of abuse? Yes, it is and we collectively participate in this religion, where we have collectively decided that ‘some’ must have all the control over it, while the rest live a life of misery, struggle and suffering to get that paper that some can simply print or put in as numbers in a bank account…. Yes, you as I can breathe after saying/reading this as one can see the level of abuse that is accepted and allowed yet legitimized as ‘how things operate’ apparently, with no ‘change’ being made possible.

 

Now, what I’ve found throughout this process to be a challenge is to not create separation towards those that I’ve defined as abusive, even though one can find out and see the evidence of such abuse and can even witness with one’s own eyes – ‘they’ the ‘abusers’ are also myself. This is a humbling experience, maybe one that initially I would not want to fully embrace as it’s become such an ingrained thing to just ‘point fingers at another’ and blame them for what they’ve done, to be disgusted at ‘them’ but there is really no ‘them’ here – ‘they’ are also myself, yet at the same time each one will be individually accountable for what each one has accepted and allowed and how such point of abuse affected the totality of what is here.The shame, the guilt, the regret, the damnation upon myself and everyone else that stemmed from that moment I’ve rather turned it into a test for my stability, an opening, an awareness to get to know of and investigate any other form of abuse that I had previously neglected as part of myself as well.

 

We do it to ourselves

 

Seems we haven’t gotten sufficient consequences already in our world and reality because we haven’t changed much even with major threats of even our own extermination if we continue to live in these abusive ways.

So far, investigating the abuse, the evil, the abject of our reality is rather  of empowering too as a point where we no longer fear ourselves, our real nature but instead can – for a lack of a better expression – embrace it, understand it and within such understanding, finally be able to self-forgive it, finally be able to let go of any reaction that may emerge when taking a look at our ‘dark side’ which we’ve only feared looking at without realizing that that’s where the actual ‘truth’ of ourselves resides in, and not a truth to remain as it is and simply ‘embrace it’ as a form of acceptance – no, not at all, but as a necessary realization that will and is causing unbearable shocks and pain in this world. Maybe it is necessary to have this shock be profound or else, we will forget it all over again as we’ve done generation after generation, coming into this world and fitting ourselves into the vilest forms of coexistence while painting it with flowers and seeing it as ‘normal’ just because that is what we see and hear all around us as the way to survive, ‘the way things are’ and have believed we’ll ‘always be,’ which I am here to ensure it does not remain as such ‘status quo.’

 

Whenever I witness something that is shocking, something that I have considered to be too cruel, too vile, too sad to be truth as part of our ‘human nature,’ I tend to see it as a separate expression from myself, as if it was only ‘someone else’s twisted deeds, without realizing that it is actually part of who and what we have become as the very nature of ourselves being that of evil, as the reverse of life. Now, I understand this might sound rather pessimistic to our usual deep desires to not have to face the side of ourselves that we tend to occult/hide with positivity and ‘good thoughts’ –  but it isn’t pessimistic at all, it’s who we are and have become –  one only has to look at the actual nature of one’s thoughts to understand then the ‘nature of the system’ and our ‘human nature’ that we’ve justified and excused for far too long.

abuse
1    use to bad effect or for a bad purpose.
2    treat with cruelty or violence. Ø assault sexually.
3    address in an insulting and offensive way.

1    the improper use of something.
2    cruel and violent treatment. Ø sexual assault.
3    insulting and offensive language.

 

I could define abuse as plain evil, the reverse of life, as in acting in a way that one can understand is not honoring and respecting something or someone, doing deliberate harm in order to get some form of personal gain – this is the nature that exists within each other’s mind and we haven’t yet been fully able to admit it and take responsibility for it. The sole ability to live the word abuse in our very own thinking patterns, behaviors and relationships with one another certainly creates the general atmosphere that we all breathe in and out of, it’s what we create as our reality of disregard, self-interest, greed, wanting more, wanting to abuse another to have some more, be better and superior than, be the king of it all, do the least effort, being the winner, the master, the god…

 

God won't save the queen now

 

 

Can I imagine a world without abuse?

It’s hard to conceive because we haven’t ever actually ‘lived’ without abusing, and that makes us ponder how much of ourselves would change if we had such ‘human abusive nature’ be transformed into the principle and consideration of what is best for all. However before jumping into such ‘utopia’ that it may appear to be, I’d rather keep disclosing what I’ve realized when watching certain movies or series where abuse is rather notorious.

 

When watching bits of The Act of Killing for a second time, I realized that what I was witnessing is in fact what has existed as our sole human nature since the beginning of our time and that Anwar – the main ‘character’ of the documentary – is in fact each one of us. We can’t remember our several lifetimes we’ve been here before, doing the same, repeating the same mistakes, committing the same abuse and then coming back and believing we have never done anything wrong and believing that there can be actual innocent individuals within this, whereas I can only conceive why we are here on Earth as a result of us being the ones that have actually abused for eons on time and are here to learn a very tough lesson: to face ourselves, our nature, our – probably – irremediable consequences up until the last drop of water dries up.

 

In my experience, I could see before how any form of abuse outraged me, however I thought myself to be a pristine righteous good and ‘noble’ individual until I started deconstructing myself and was able to see my own ‘evil’ as the reverse of life and how my ‘good intentions’ were tainted with self interest all over. If anything, I am interested in getting to know more about all the ‘dark side’ of our human psyche that we’ve hid from one another as that is where the actual crème of our human nature resides in. This means being able to confront that which I many times simply deliberately avoided looking at or getting to know of.

 

My first attendance to a protest was in 2006 where our governor was accused of being a pederast upon a recording that made national or maybe even international news and so, we the ‘indignados’ marched around the city hall asking him to quit – which he never did and I can only remember how even if I was already old enough to understand what being a pederast means, I could still not fathom why could that be something ‘attractive’ or exciting to an adult. Another point is the feminicide, the Muertas de Juárez, the ladies that were kidnapped/disappeared, killed and dropped around in the city like disposable objects after being used for rather unusual purposes. I once was at a conference wherein the reality of the nature of these killings was explained and I was shocked to the core of how authorities seemed to be implicated in these crimes and that’s why no one dared to speak up – that’s the first time I realized that I had been truly living a lie when it comes to ‘authorities’ and it was closer than I thought. There were mentions of satanic rituals and sadist masochism evidence on the women’s bodies,  which has now become part of our ‘pop culture’ with books like 50 shades of gray and completely mellowing the actual core of the abuse to transform it into an ‘exciting’ new way to spark up your sex life. Well, who has heard about the muertas of Juarez being part of these ritual abuses based on the evidence on the girls’ corpses? Not many, we fear being quieted down by authorities, and so we keep quiet. And within this: would blowing the whistle on this change the entire crime networks that exist around the world related to pedophiles, pornography, snuff films, satanic rituals and secret societies? Becoming aware of something is a starting point, but in the end the actual change to prevent it will have to exist at an individual level taking responsibility for such abuses. If anything we are becoming more aware of what is possible in our world and it’s also fascinating to see that this is hitting ‘mainstream’ with series like True Detective.

My perspective of why we are so drawn and fascinated by the ‘occult’ which means that which is hidden or obscured from seeing the broad daylight is because we actually fear looking at it, and so the experience of fear is what we turn into some form of attraction which then becomes part of our morbidity to all deviances and rather ‘morbid fascinations’ as I call them, in which we also try to ‘push the boundaries’ of what is socially acceptable which is sometimes done in an attempt to ‘break the spell’ of the usual happy-go-lucky mentality that is peddled around in order to sell, buy, consume, repeat and be ignorantly happy.

 

I’m still a bit intrigued as to how a show like True Detective made it into mainstream. It apparently ends in a ‘good way’ but it only scratches the dirt of a nail of the actual problem. It does, however, make more evident what is already part of our mainstream without being fully aware of it, such as the symbolism, the ‘lifestyles’ that we have come to see as ‘part of our culture’ and no longer any form of ‘conspiracy theory,’ but it is instead a way to make evident the decay of our human nature – maybe we have to hit the rock bottom so that once we get to be aware of and understand the vilest forms of existence that we’ve become, we can start pondering how the hell we allowed ourselves to go down the spiral without awareness of the actual consequences which are measurable in, for example,  kids today learning that being bad is rather cool, isn’t it? Being vile is the new trend, being a rebel, opposing the laws and ‘doing as you will’ which is the ultimate statement of disregard of the principle that in fact governs us all: oneness and equality, which is at the moment rather far from us waking up to realize the kind of crimes we’ve been committing against life on a daily basis, every single time we are not even aware of how we are actually and literally one and equal, part of the whole.

 

Girl Interrupted by Ultra Violence

 

In our minds we have concocted our inner most twisted fantasies that we have defended as ‘our own will’ whereas in the absolute realm of the whole there is no such thing as individual will, but only the creation of personal delusions in the name of excitement, of the illusion of power, of control, of rejoicing in believing one has some form of ‘control’ or can ‘possess’ something or someone.

I also see the necessity to unveil even the most scary, cruel, filthy, shaming stories of what we have become as human beings in order to look beyond our threshold o fears and understand what it is that happens when we allow our minds to run rampant and ‘get away with murder’ in a literal manner.

As I was mentioning, witnessing our real human nature even in fiction stories implies there’s part of us being depicted of course, as it is created in another human’s mind – so, nothing is really ‘detached’ from ourselves and as such even when we ‘thank god’ that ‘I am NOT THAT criminal, that abuser, that person in power committing heinous crimes against life’ – let’s ‘think’ again and rather realize it is ourselves doing it all along, we just like to pretend we are not, so that we can feel ‘less bad’ about ourselves. But as long as we hold on to an idea of perfection and looking at all the marvelous things we can be and become Without investigating the actuality, the real nature, the nitty gritty and not so pretty nature that exists within ourselves: nothing will in fact genuinely change.

I see the unveiling, the ‘apocalypse’ as the process we are going through right now, more and more evident and  ‘seeping through the cracks’ in our daily lives as it is now everywhere: in mass media, music, our behaviors, trends, habits everything that is being pushed as part of a larger agenda that is equally lost in its aim, not realizing that any person in a current perceived ‘position of power’ is none other than part of the chess game that was laid out long before even the notion of the ‘elites’ on Earth existed. This is our masterpiece, the world-system on this Earth, the end result of our wildest fantasies, dreams and fascinations and one can only look at how we are genuinely trashing ourselves, the world and our very own bodies every time that we give into the hypnotic state of  wanting to ‘feel good,’ wanting to ‘feel happy’ and ignore reality, a reality that I am certain if I could hear it in fact would be screaming in agony and pondering why the hell we are so bubbled-up that we cannot actually SEE every single form of abuse that we create within and without ourselves as our very own nature and in turn how nature itself operates as a reflection of such mechanism of abuse too, our own conditioning.

In this, I can only point out the role of the ‘younger’ detectives in True Detective –the ones that were interrogating Rustin Cohle -as the ones that try to mislead from getting to know the most vile nature of our reality, trying to make of ritualistic abuse and other forms of human nastiness as some kind of ‘sick joke’ or a thing for ‘conspiracy theorists and loonies,’ however, it is about time this is known so that the major well-kept masks in this world can fall, but not only those of the people in ‘greater powers’ and institutions, but of ourselves, to finally be able to confront and accept the fact that the ‘abusers’ are not ‘out there’ but inside of us, each one of us and so be able to integrate some humbleness to understand how it is that we have pointed fingers outside of ourselves and created ‘fiction’ stories to be able to swallow the truth in a less ‘offensive’ or ‘embarrassing’ way, because we are still too scared to realize our responsibility for it all.

 

God Bless the Child

 

It can also start by pondering when we get excited upon witnessing violence – which does happen/still exist – such as people that like to witness bulls being bullied/harassed/abused and killed in what is called the ‘fiesta brava’ or bullfights. The same with how in pedophile circles the participants rejoice seeing a baby or a kid being sexually abused. The same with the ‘excitement’ that sexual abuse creates in the abuser, or killing/murdering others, or setting off a bomb… this is what exists today and yes it is mostly linked to the idea of ‘power’ and having some well concocted reasons to justify it. I mean, how more blind do we have to be to not see and realize this?

So, this is not something to be feared or denied about ourselves as human beings, it is about understanding that even the most vile and atrocious nature of ourselves exists as a potential within each one of us, the same way that the most common sensical and benevolent potential exists within each one of us too and so, being rather willing to face our True Nature to begin self-forgiving it and redirecting it and so be self-directive within our minds, our ‘human nature’ as to stop all forms of self-abuse – which is to be understood and realized as the abuse upon myself or others, all equally affected.

 

 

Self Forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgust, anger and also sadness when getting to know the extent of abuse that we can impose onto another that we haven’t recognized as ourselves and so doing so within the ignorance of who we all are as equals and how any point of abuse upon ‘another’ is in fact toward oneself.

I realize that my reactions to abuse create further abuse and as such, I have to be able to witness, get to know and realize the abuse we have created without giving into powerlessness, sadness, anger or even wanting to blame others for such abuse as reactions won’t ever solve the problem. I only can solve the problem first by stopping my own emotional experience, and then seeing who am I and where am I existing in relation to that problem myself.

I commit myself to then see what it would take for me to contribute to stopping such abuse and if it is ‘outside of my hands’ at the moment, I then focus on rather informing myself, becoming aware of how we have created such problem/point of abuse as well as supporting others to become aware of it so that through creating this awareness, we can altogether look at solutions that we can all implement – for example – through politics which implies the power of many joining toward the same outcome as one person alone cannot be ‘the one point of change’ only but it is through joining forces that we can certainly stand up and correct any point of abuse within ourselves first and then without.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience disbelief when it comes to realizing what I’ve become as a human being, the extent of disregard, neglect, harm, abuse, the additive search for power and control even if it goes against the majority of the living beings in this world.

I realize instead that this is the very mechanism in which we have come to exist and function as individuals and as such, there is no way to escape the reality and the facts, and wishing that things could be different because even if things could suddenly seem ‘better,’ I would still have to see if such ‘change’ is in fact self-change or just a new positive façade so as to not worry about the actual source and core of the problem which is always existent within ourselves, as the very nature of who we have become as our own minds, as the separation of self.

 

I commit myself to be able to see things that happen in my world without creating an experience about it, without becoming emotional about it as that’s where I see one loses ground and becomes part of the problem – therefore I direct myself to understand the situation, the cause, the problem and investigate within myself how I have contributed to this, how I am equally responsible and as such simply commit myself to do my part to stop such point of abuse even at the thought level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see abuse in separation of myself, as if it was only some ‘powerful ones’ imposing it toward us/everyone else, instead of realizing myself as them as well doing all of that harm and abuse and existing as a fellow human being which I would have also hated back in an attempt to deny who I am in relation to them too, which is being also them, being one and equal to ‘them’ who I have defined as ‘being evil/bad/wrong’ in separation of myself as a denial of what exists here as myself.

I realize that denying or judging or reacting to a point of information, to someone else’s actions and words will do nothing for me to create a substantial change but that real change implies I stop, I ensure I do not react to this so that I am able to look at this point in full presence and stability so as to see the ‘full picture’ that’s entailed in any point of abuse for example, to see the ‘greater picture’ to not get fixated on a particular set of beings/people/actions but understand abuse from the greater context as who we are and have become generally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within realizing this wanting to become defensive and distrustful toward others and go back to existing in the ‘fear toward the evil of humanity’ as some ingrained pattern I had walked through before. I realize that this is just me in my mind wanting to jump on to another ‘mindset’ as a false sense of security which doesn’t make sense at all.

 

Therefore I see and realize that I have to remain as breath, to be physically present and  not get caught up in memories and reactions or experiences but ensure I am seeing the point through the eyes of the physical, which means the eyes of understanding and so realizing that the chain massacre of abuse will be stopped from the moment that I decide to no longer acknowledge abuse as a point to react to in an emotional way as that would be like being separate to that which I am creating an experience of, because in recognizing everything as myself then creating an experience is like having schizophrenia really, reacting toward myself. So,

I commit myself to live the realization of being present as breath while witnessing something that I have defined as abuse, seeing information that relates to abusing ourselves which in such case I mean, If I was fully aware of everything that goes in this reality, I would constantly be crying or angry as everything that is here is existent as this point of abuse and so, it’s rather obvious that we cannot go on like this, we have to be able to rather focus on understanding to be able to prevent the problem from its root cause.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as desensitized when not reacting any longer to the various stories and mechanisms of abuse, as if I had been ‘cured’ of creating any form of freight or disgust at the same time, but I do have to be very wary of this point so as to not be repressing my experiences and not really seeing who I am in relation to the information that I come to know of, the images, the proofs and how everything fits to the outcomes of an ‘evil plot’ in which we exist as and of which we understand its sole purpose of which was to be enslaved and generate energy for someone that we accepted and allowed to upgrade into the level of a god. This is then the consequential outflow of having had no regard toward each other as equals, of having abdicated my responsibility to it all and creating polarities where winners and losers can exist, where elites and populace can exist, where money can dictate who gets abused and in which ways as well as the ‘power’ that perpetuates such inequality, such as ‘privileges’ and ‘benefits’ that are only existent for a few while the majority gets nothing but, we also have to transcend that me vs. them mentality here if we want to truly focus on change, so

I commit myself to focus on change within and as myself and no longer contrast it or compare it toward those that ‘have nothing’ or those that ‘have all the power’ but see myself as an equal participant within this all which means, no longer seeing through the eyes of the mind but acknowledging my part and so live my part that I am responsible for such as my words, thoughts, actions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that everything was ‘fine’ in this world wherein I lived in a rather narrow view and rather brainwashed perspective of our history, the stories of our origin and believing that we were meant to be and do good, without realizing that it’s actually the exact opposite what we’ve done all along and that it is only through being able to let go of this idea of goodness or benevolence and ‘evil’ at the same time that I can see facts/actions/words for what they are and imply without judgment, without segregation or creating an experience toward them.

I commit myself to focus on rather seeing HOW we came to create such point of abuse and considering it within all the points that I realize I have to take care of when it comes to aligning my life within and as the principle of considering all parts equally as myself and doing my part as well in this life which begins by taking responsibility for myself, my actions and ensuring I consider what is best for all in what I think, do and speak

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have that inherent tendency to want to have ‘nothing to do’ with abuse and not wanting to recognize myself as part of that abuse because I have judged it as wrong along with an experience that implies that ‘I am right.’

I realize that abuse is collectively accepted and allowed, as well as understanding that abuse has become the very way we live and act, and as such rather become aware of this necessary starting point to begin questioning everything that we have also deemed we were doing for the sake of being ‘benevolent’ or ‘doing good’ as I’ve also seen throughout this process that these are the most deceptive points where the actual ‘evil’ or the actual point of harm or abuse is hidden behind a positive façade so as to justify it and excuse it.

 

I commit myself to ‘embrace’ this ‘evil’ as myself not from the point of accepting and allowing it or giving continuation to it, but as a way to no longer react to it as it is in fact myself I would be reacting to, and instead focus on what I can direct within myself which is beginning with my own mind, my own life and so my participation in this world system being based on externalizing those points of self responsibility, accountability, no harm and no abuse upon others which is the principle of doing onto others as I would like to be done onto myself.

I realize as well that even the very food/water/animals/air that I breathe I’ve come to abuse as well, so within this I have to also be willing to face the abuse that goes on at even a microscopic level within the very mechanisms of how I digest my food or how I have to use water every single day and so not react to it but understand how we came to be enslaved in essence to our own abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes hold on to this point of acknowledging abuse as a way to also prevent me from seeing ‘how things could be if this abuse is stopped’ which I have defined as being rather ‘hard’ to imagine everyone being self-responsible and acting in the best interest of everyone, but I realize that this is the kind of pessimism I have also become so used to existing as. So

I commit myself to allow myself to realize that I cannot imagine something that I haven’t been able to live by and prove for myself, so I don’t need to imagine as much as I need to focus on myself, on being that example and that point of stopping abuse within myself and so stand as it and as a pillar of support for anyone else that also decides to become a 1+ living proof and example of what it means to live in a self-supportive and considerate manner within the principle of what is best for all as equals.

 

Supportive Material:

 

  1.  Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 1) – Part 111

  2. Reptilians – The Key to Life Through Evil (Part 2) – Part 112

5. Deer Human

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility and prevent further abuse in this world:

 

 

 

 


371. Desteni Insider: Fear, Fear, Fear

 

The easiest way to be a mind controlled individual is through accepting fear as part of ourselves, yet from the moment we step into this world, fear is what is propagated from the very moment we are taught how to survive and call it ‘becoming a happy and successful human being’ and cope within a reality that has a foundation of zero guaranteed support if you have no money, which is then the driving force of every single decision we are able to make in this world, because even our ‘life’ is actually motivated by fear of death.

 

We learn that we must always aim to always be the best, always aim to be successful and be the most beautiful, bright, charismatic, benevolent and joyful human being that loves and is loved by everyone around you, without understanding how such desire is in fact motivated by Fear of being  the entire opposite: a failure, a sad, dismal, ugly, loser that is hated by everyone if one does not comply to what parents, teachers and society tells you to be and become – and fear for your survival! because success always has a happy face.  It seems odd that in our 21st century of ‘the new era’ that began with an individual coming into this world to leave a message of Life in Equality, we didn’t change anything in the world and continued to base all our systems – economic, political, social and digital – on Fear that is created the moment you know that if you have no money, no personality, no worth or value at the eyes of everyone else: you die.

 

DSC01841

Reencarnación = Loop = Repetición Contínua (2008)

 

These are some of the aspects that we have come to accept as ‘facts’ not that they imply the are true facts: you know that if you are not the brightest person in your class you are part of the losers, you know that you must aim to be number one in everything or else you won’t be accepted in the best circles in society, you know that if you don’t look pretty enough, cheerful enough people will judge you for being awkward and sad. And yes it is mostly so, because we have accepted knowledge as who we are and in that accept the polarities of good and bad, loser and winner, fear and desire, love and hate as the living as the narrow white and black mind reality that we have defined ourselves without ever questioning why we always had to be constantly fearing to be or become everything that is seen as bad, negative, ugly, dismal – little did we know that this also had been part of the game to keep everyone locked into an eternal desire to thrive while accepting strife as part of our day to day living in this world.

 

As I’ve said, I realized that the world is in reverse therefore all that seemed good, benevolent, happy, loving was in fact just another side of the coin motivated by one of the main roots that motivates ‘our lives’ which is fear: fear of dying, fear of not being good enough, fear of being rejected, fear of not being up to other’s expectations, fear of being alone, fear of what people will think of me, fear of how others see me, fear of doing and saying the wrong things, fear of making mistakes, fear of public exposure, fear of being ‘on the spot,’ fear of taking responsibilities, fear of having to make decisions, fear of the dark, fear of dark entities, fear of being hijacked, fear of ending poor, fear of dying of hunger, fear of not ‘making it’ in this life, fear of losing my spot, fear of having others plotting against me, fear of people disliking me, fear of being liked by ‘the wrong people,’ fear of being caught if my secrets were to be out, fear of having my face be displayed in ‘public sites,’ fear of having my name being known by too many people, fear of what my family would say, fear of having some deadly disease, fear of robbers, fear of vagrants, fear of drunks, fear of the city, fear of being crazy and deluded, fear of being misunderstood, fear of god, fear of aliens, fear of germs, fear of war, fear of the unknown,  fears, fears, fears….

 

Don't speak

(2007)

I hadn’t realized how fearful I was until I begun writing myself to freedom and I realized that to begin with I had to apply self forgiveness for all the fears that came up whenever I had to write and actually publish my writings online! Oh dear god that was such a ‘ludicrous’ thing for me to even conceive what if my family reads it, what if that person in my life gets to read what I really thought, what if someone stalks me, what if they think I’m in a cult, what if they lose all respect for me, what if I lose credibility… all these what ifs came up while beginning to post my blog in its original location back in April 2008. It took me some months to finally begin writing which wasn’t something ‘new’ to me, but certainly the starting point was absolutely new because I was going to for the first time apply Self Forgiveness and mostly all I could see were: Fears. It is quite clear to me now that fears are limitations, fears are excuses to not give the necessary steps to walk beyond our comfort zone. Every single day that I wrote and published, fears would come up and every single day I had to push myself to deliberate ‘just do it’ while still hoping that no one that I know would get to see it. I feared having a YouTube Channel because I would have never ever in my life back then thought of recording my face/myself and broadcast it to thousands and thousands of people because ‘oh what would they say about my face, what would they say about my voice, what would they think about my thoughts?’ all of it fear paranoia that I decided to also break through with great nervosity but certainly understanding why I was doing it: this was a process wherein I was genuinely committing myself to stop all fears, all the limitations that were only existent in my mind as the accepted ‘I Know’s’ that I’ve described before and committing myself to prove each one of them to be nothing else but a mind delusion I had participated in throughout my life.

 

I can recall myself as a ‘very fearful person’ and one of the aspects I have certainly committed myself to stop within this process is Fear and interestingly enough, the process was an integral aspect of understanding reality, getting to know that there were no ‘invisible forces’ dictating my life or attempting to harm me in the dark,’ understanding how virtually any fear that I had projected upon others toward myself was Only my own creation, only existent in my mind and as such I could write about it, self forgive it and realize myself as being able to exist without fear, which then became a day to day process of bit by bit letting go of the fears.

 

DSC00633

(2008)

It is quite normal that once we are stripped from the comfort of all the apparently ‘good’ and ‘positive’ what is left is all the negative, the bad, the ugly truth of who we are and have become, and the Desteni Process is certainly where we get to face that ugly truth that we have all tried and attempted to cover up, disguise and suppress with nice masks of ‘everything is fine,’ and ‘everything is rosy and shiny’ and ‘I am alright, I am happy, I am satisfied’ and never ever daring to see the actual reality hiding behind such nice and positive fluff. That is where I learned from Jack’s article The Courage of Self Honesty wherein I begun to understand that walking this process takes guts and that fear was the weak link I had to constantly work with to push through the boundaries. Every single point that I was able to ‘overcome’ within understanding how I had created the fear and how I kept feeding it by ‘making it real’ made me become more stable within the realization that even opening up points about myself implied an effort to ‘open them up’ to the point where the expressions that I used to this process became elusive to doing that which would seem terrifying to do at first glance: opening the can of worms and digging out the rotten corpses – both squeamish and stinky, haunting ghosts that were literally petrifying myself and holding me back from writing and going deeper into the actual ‘nitty-gritty’ of myself, my thoughts, my experiences, and that’s where I saw what kind of a web we have spawn through our very own creation of personalities and characters that I became aware of were nothing else but sheer mind distraction to keep me enslaved to thinking, fearing, desiring, wanting, needing and repeating the whole cycle over and over and over again, not to mention how the self definition of being a fearful person became a self definition of submission, self belittlement, self judgment, seeking for acceptance, seeing myself as not pretty enough, having some odd body that no one would like, having odd personality, fearing that people would notice how I was not comfortable in my own skin, fear of being made fun of, fear of being ‘the joke’ to laugh at – inferiority, disbelief in my abilities and capabilities, fearing growing up, fearing being betrayed, fearing losing friends and relationships, fear of never being the expectation that I thought everyone had upon me… all these aspects became the points I opened up throughout day to day writing and pushing myself to the point of change in an immediate desire to be just self realize and believing that having no ‘chatter’ in my mind meant ‘being done with process,’ lol – little did I know I was barely beginning it and still today after 5 years it is only the first phase, the first baby steps of the rest of our lives.

 

Within fears and fearing to look at the truth of myself, I created more fear and petrification and it became an obstacle initially within my process. I received a specific interview with support and feedback on myself at that time which supported me tremendously to first of all accept the fact that FEAR is what I existed as, I was too ‘okay’ within the belief that ‘I am fine and nothing is wrong with me’ without realizing that this too was obviously a way to conceal the actual truth: I feared opening myself up, I feared publishing myself, I feared that what I said would be used against me, I feared that someone would be disappointed at me – yet, step by step, day by day I continued opening up the points to get to see more and more about myself, the reality of the aspects I had thought I had ‘hidden’ very well. But through all the supportive videos and vlogs of other people sharing how they had begun applying the Desteni tools themselves, I got to realize that I had to do the same in order to break through that essential layer of brainwashing that I had embodied throughout my life.

 

 

 

Writing Self Forgiveness on every single fear that would come up in the moment of writing within opening up any aspect within my daily writing supported me to realize how every point of complication, problem and discomfort experience within was able to be transformed into a point of expression of what I can instead direct myself to live, be and become – through words this means placing very directive statements within common sense of what I realize and how I will direct myself from this moment of understanding on.

Throughout the years the process has implied continuously breaking through and walking through fears of virtually about anything that I believed myself to be, challenging it to the core and gaining the ability to instead of fearing and seeing problems, establish solutions. This is not an easy task since it is a continuous feedback process that doesn’t only exist at an individual level. The chats held every single week of the year within the Desteni group for those that are genuinely interested in their own process of Self Responsibility in Self Realization supported me to gain several perspectives from what others were also experiencing and allowed me to understand that we truly all function at the same level of fears that tamper our ability to exist as self directive and common sensical individuals.

Within Desteni, real life investigation is necessary and that is through walking our day to day living as well as within the information available like documentaries and books – we have been able to correlate and verify the mechanisms explained within the Desteni Material to be an essential part of the agenda that exists as the main form of Mind Control to have individuals be directed by emotions and feelings rather than facts and common sensical assessments. This is but a fraction of the understanding that I’ve gained throughout the 5 years I’ve walked with the Desteni group, continuing to see and research on daily basis on all the scientific advancements and technological endeavors that attempt to create solutions to this world – but, as long as the mind within who we are as human beings is not understood, it should be obvious that it will be very difficult to be able to create solutions unless we first go through this individual process of self-support at an individual level to understand fear as the control mechanism with which we prevent ourselves from walking as integral beings that have a clear understanding of what is required to be done into this world if we so in fact want to live in a world that we can all be proud of.

The application of stopping fears doesn’t imply ‘never again fearing anything’ – there are practical fears wherein if you know you’re about to crash the car that’s in front of you if you don’t slow down, is rather a warning system to slow down and take proper measures to drive safely. The fear of ending without any money should not be a constant worry and concern but rather a practical understanding that if you have no money in this world, you have no access to what you require to live and that is then a call to direct oneself to get an effective means to make a decent income to live – furthermore such fear should be the driving force for each one of us to rather create a system that ensures and secures the well being of every individual so that we never again have to go through life fearing to be killed, robbed or high-jacked for someone else to make money that should be – by virtue of human rights – available to everyone equally.

 

 

DSC00634

(2008)

I’ve become an individual that doesn’t allow fear to be the directive principle of my actions, feelings or emotions, there are obviously aspects yet to be faced and walked but it becomes fairly easy to spot the fears when one gets any form of mind feedback as thoughts, emotions or feelings in the moment as an attempt to go back into inFEARiority, limitation and any other experience that we had become so used to exist in. Now I can assess the situation and realize that it is up to me to give into the fear within the mechanism of control it exists as OR decide to walk in common sense which means deciding to live, act and speak according to what is best for all. This doesn’t end there, since all aspects of self interest and apparent stability must be cross referenced to ensure this is yet not another ‘fearless personality’ but genuinely assessing consequences of my actions and inactions and the responsibility entailed, as well as the effects that can harm or abuse others.

I’ve come to understand how loving someone is in fact created out of fear of losing that something or someone and that the fear that is propagated in our society as all things ‘positive’ is in fact the best way to keep us all chained to our misery and self-limitation. Becoming an emotional-fearless being is an every day application wherein every moment that we see ourselves being held back by a single thought or emotional experience, we must investigate what is it that we are fearing to begin with in order to get the root and cause of the experience, this is by far a very simple and practical application that anyone can use to see then how to give ourselves direction instead of giving in to fears and limitations.

Walking the process of Self Honesty to become a living being that is always here as breath is where I am at now in this process has enabled me to understand the human mind and within this also have the ability to support others the same way I have been supported to face myself. This is why the process cannot be walked alone, another’s feedback is always necessary to ensure one is not creating yet another mind-dimension of being ‘fearless’ and ‘stable’ without genuinely living as such in our every day living.  That we could all use to genuinely create a world that we all want to live in, a fearless world – yet this is not possible if we don’t walk this process individually to take responsibility for the limitations we’ve existed in.

 

More to come…

 

 


322. Deconstructing the Root of All Evil

The dissolution of Power as Inequality and Greed will be done through Education, this is the first step and pivotal point to set the foundation for change in our world system, and this process has to be differentiated from any previous attempts to do so with no success, since the intellectualization of humanity only set moral codes for the Belief in Knowledge as a means to progress and better the living conditions in our society; but money was forgotten along the way of such ‘evolution’ that was only available for some, and an intellectual elitism is created from the restricted  access to such education, which has been a constant variable that determines humanity’s well being according to countries/ culture/ race, wherein only the ruling elite or religious authorities get the education they require according to the role and position they would become in society,which perpetuated the hierarchical system we’re existing in, proving that Education as the basic aspect toward creating an Equal society has not been considered at all,  until now.

 

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS

 

 

Problem                                                              

For Equality to Exist, the dissolution of this hierarchical system must take place:

“Self Interest and Greed have to be removed from every participant in this world scheme. How? Mandatory immunization?”

A reply to Kirill Nenartovich at Quora 

Greed as a desire for more is intertwined with and as the ‘nature’ we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to be and exist as in our mind. Within the mind we always seek to earn more, have more and continue seeking for more after one has enough – however this ‘Moreness’ is the result of giving value to things on a monetary basis and on an experience basis, which means that we’ve linked consumption with a feeling of satisfaction, completion, wholeness which is a temporary energetic fix as an Experience that we learn to continually seek and cultivate as an aspect of our identity, the ‘who we are.’

If we were in fact or genuinely only physical beings without having a desire for such experience, we would have not created the system we currently have where we transformed money as the representation of our desire for more, the accumulation of power as a means for security, more than a mere tool for trading and supporting ourselves to obtain the necessary means we require to live – this means that we accepted our desires for power to be equated to our own creation as what money is and has become, the ‘key’ to obtain virtually anything we want that we’ve made salable through our magical powers to convert everything into a commodity. This power over matter is what became the modus vivendi of the economic man that existed even before Adam Smith –again, theories and people are just points of reference wherein we tried to understand what the human mind was in fact existing-as all along, with no conclusive result which is measurable in our world of such problem being solved.

When we accepted this ability to obtain, consume, hoard, store as ‘wealth,’ as a vantage and superior ability/position when compared to others, we accepted a system originally created for trade and mutual benefit to become a legal mechanism for control and legitimization of power in itself as a recognized form of order and authority. This is to give context as to why and how people  have integrated this ‘ability to have more’ as part of our ‘instincts’ which is not really an ‘instinct’ but a mechanism with which we could justify the experience one has when having more power than others/ having control over others and develop concepts to justify the experience as a ‘good feeling,’ such as your usual American dribble of freedom, democracy, individualism and pursuit of happiness, while in fact it was only positive experience, a mind association that became a facade imposed onto an actual evil: supporting a system wherein a minority could obtain and rejoice in such ‘moreness’ and ‘power’ by all legal means and a minority could remain stuck, tied and bound to a lesser position in economic, political and social terms, wherein lacking money means lack of education and decision making ability or participation in the system, which equates you to being a slave in a lower-to-middle class environment with no say upon the decisions that our representatives make other than voting on every electoral term, holding the belief that things ‘will change’ this time, which is even hard to write out and not realize to what extent we have fooled each other in our so-called democracy at the moment.

So, this is the set up in which we are born into and grow up and live in, where the belief that having more will make you better, more powerful, wiser, have the greatest quality living you want, all the luxuries, the American dream as promoted during the 1930’s and still ongoing with even harsher and more radical means to instill desires at a higher potency of course, since that’s what progress is all about: making it more comfortable to remain as a ‘Walking Desire’ that’s never fulfilled than becoming an empowered individual that can turn around the tables and question such ‘pursuit of happiness.’

As children, we get imbued within this context wherein you see the possibility of having a ‘rich man’s lifestyle’ with all the power, all the money, the luxury and comfort that you see on magazines, on TV and wish to have ‘the same as them,’ to feel special and important, unique. This becomes a general fixation by mere Awareness of what is possible in your society – because others have it, then it Must be possible for me as well – yet at the same time, being aware of the opposite extreme of ending up homeless, going from shelter to shelter, eating scraps and surfing through garbage containers to sell some aluminum cans to make it through the day. Obviously, one fears ending up in that ‘bad experience’ and avoid it at all cost, but we don’t question it, we just fear it, we fear ending up in the street and being that man that you see is eating someone else’s leftovers – or even worse, having to steal to make some money and then ending up caught in the desire for more as well, facing jail or any other punishment for not having enough to live, which should be considered a crime against authorities, not the ‘robber.’ 

Fearing lack is what drives the desire for power. And obviously, because we’ve made such Lack acceptable, this is what sets the foundation for every single person to consider that we have to do ‘all we can’ to be well prepared to ‘make it in the world.’ Children then become these little troopers that must ‘make it through’ and ‘strive’ for their lives against others to get to the highest position, which will be seen as ‘successful,’ instead of seeing it as the actual covered-up abuse and violation of another’s right to have the same abilities and capacities as well, which denotes  how the system has been set up where some are ought to win and some lose by default.

 

As we grow up, we adopt our parental fears of lacking money, ending up with nothing and ‘being a nobody,’ which becomes then an unconscious drive to always succeed, to always win, to not be left behind, to always ‘want more’ and become the wealthiest most powerful one, because it is an ‘available’ position within the system – yet, we are never told it is  actually impossible for every single person to get to such position, and how it is in essence a controlled rat race wherein the winning-prize is in fact never available for all. But, we keep ourselves in the race no matter what, because we don’t know anything better and we accept ‘the fact’ hat life is a struggle’ and we have to enter the competition, or our ‘drive to succeed’ or our ‘drive to be happy in life,’ but in fact it is fueled by Fear of ending up or remaining in the exact opposite side. We never questioned poverty, we just feared it and have done everything possible to teach our children to do the same, to look away from the man on the street and immediately make them think of something ‘positive’ to avoid them questioning that man’s poverty and condition. This is how we have Created the desire for more: fear of survival, fear of poverty and ultimately fearing death. How bizarre it is that our entire lives that we believe are being driven by genuine desires to be happy and free are in fact driven by fear of lack and death.

One really does not require theory to realize these basic mechanisms that are more empirical investigations from what is Currently existing as humanity representing the byproduct and accumulation of our history, wherein reading Das Kapital becomes only a reference as any other of multiple theories  and attempts to create a ‘more equal world’ that de jure sounded great, but de facto were never placed into application due to human nature being neglected as the actual source of the problem in our reality.

 

Solution                                                              

Education in an Equal Money System has the goal of giving each individual the support to discover their true passion and abilities, achieve a comprehensive understanding of how the world works and how to support life, and develop healthy relationships with themselves, others, and the world while playing an important part in maintaining a system that gives everyone the best Life possible on Earth. And – unlike in the current system – everyone will be Equally included in receiving such Support.

http://equalmoney.org/wiki/Education

 

The new education for a new world requires a complete overhaul of every basic meaning we have tainted our words with, this is clearly seen the moment that even our ‘appreciation’ toward reality and others implies a value imposed onto something/someone in means of creating a special bond to it, when in fact, such bond or appreciation only exists at a mind level in accordance to the notion of money as power that we have embedded within our money consciousness at the moment, which is not an equality relationship, but an unequal relationship driven by basic survival mechanisms of The Mind to obtain energy: fear and desire.

This is the first step required to understand Equal Money as well, through first educating ourselves as individuals, as parents specifically wherein Equality is realized not only as a quality of how we relate to each other, but as a realization of who we are as life itself that we can begin focusing on cultivating and developing this awareness to our children from the moment of conception and growth in the mother’s womb. This is a never before released educational program (See Parenting – Perfecting the Human Race) that has been launched this year and that we are already implementing and testing out for the first time in humanity. This will ensure that the new child is able to integrate the living understanding of ourselves as life in Equality and use words as a means to communicate, embody and live such principled realization according to the input that parents will represent as an example, as well as creating the necessary changes and environmental conditions in which the child will grow up in.

 

Obviously this will be a process of many years to create this definitive transition, but we have to begin somewhere and it is now that we are currently educating parents, or to-be parents to understand the importance of words, physical communication, and being an example of what it is to live by the principle of equality as ourselves. It would be far too lengthy to explain why, how, when, who in a simple answer here, the basic material has been applied by several people for around 6 years now demonstrating conclusive results in our ability to become self directive beings that, through understanding the mechanisms of the mind and its relationship, effects and consequences upon the physical body and this physical reality, we are able to realize what this ‘desire for more’ in fact means as an energetic-based survival mechanism of the mind, and how such ‘drive’ is the current ‘drive’ of our entire mind system based in hierarchy and polarization as a basic framework of lack and abundance wherein the individual is motivated to succeed, to have more, and seek for more through fear, becoming a solid and reliable battery for a system that only gives enough light – understood as comfort, benefits, luxuries, power – to those on the top.

So, through these Educational Programs, a child can grow up with a living understanding  – by the living example that the parents must become – that one can have sufficient to eat, to live well, to have the necessary means to have a stable family environment, education, healthcare, recreational activities, leisure, conviviality, and a general physical well being   in what we currently see is the standard of a  ‘comfortable and healthy lifestyle,’ which is currently only available for some. This will ensure the integration of a new basic BIOS or modus vivendi of the child, a constant, sound, reliable reality wherein there is no ‘fear of lack,’ scarcity, violence, abuse or having examples of poverty around to fear embodying in a future if not being a ‘good student’/ successful enough to get a proper job to ‘make a living’ in the system. That is the mindset of the past that we as individuals must contribute to eradicate within ourselves first and we must also pave the way at the same time.

 

This child in this environmental condition as a ‘default setting’ of what reality is and how everyone interacts with each other, will Not know/ will not integrate a perception and belief or Experience of what ‘having more’ implies, and will not know what ‘having less’ implies either; for him or her, the understanding that in order to maintain such harmony, stability  and functionality he/she has to contribute with their own work and attend to their responsibilities will be a natural thing, not a chore, not a duty, not a punishment that will seek a reward, or something they can pay another to do for them, or extort in a way to oblige others to do the work they don’t want to do – it will be a single acquisition, imprinting and integration of a physical directive principle to develop constructive habits that will ensure the child becomes an integral part of their environment where all individuals have equal rights and responsibilities, and adopts this as the only available and acceptable way of being and coexisting with others in society.  It is the same mechanism in which we have all adopted ideas of ‘having to succeed and fight against others to win’ but the other way around, and became ‘who we are’ and How we think, how we define ourselves, because that’s everything that we could see around us – family,school, media, other people in society.

Therefore there is a specific responsibility we all have within this, which is generating the necessary ways, means and conditions to first eradicate such polarization of power/lack and fear/ desire  from our reality to – slowly but surely -generate comfortable living conditions to every person through the establishment of policies like Equal Profit share are able to be implemented in our corporations and businesses alike, as well as generating jobs for everyone in activities that are currently side-viewed and not even considered ‘labor’ until now, which is regenerating the ecosystem, restoring and rehabilitating the environment we have abused, educating, constructing, developing new ways in which we can create a sustainable and ‘environmental friendly’ living conditions within the context of money no longer being a limitation, which is what we have denominated Equal Money Capitalism, a transitional process from the old world to the new world based on this economic, political and social reform that installs a basic principle in all aspects of our lives: Equality as Life.

There are Many dimensions to this in terms of all the aspects that must be aligned in order to create this, however it is certain that each individual has the capacity to contribute with their own lives to make it our reality.

 

Rewards                                                            

With this Education we deliberately integrate the living principle of equality within ourselves to always consider what is best for all, to give as one would like to receive, to cooperate with others to make of our reality a sustainable system, to honor nature as the life that it gives us, to enjoy a physical living expression that will no longer be taunted by ideals and images of ‘power’ and ‘wealth’ as we currently are taught to pursue in our family, schools and society, but instead follow living examples of what is possible when living is no longer only based on consumerism and a pursuit of happiness of a triumphant individualization through wealth and selective benefits, but instead based on the actual discovery of life that will be possible once out of our tunneled vision reality of fear and desires resulting on greed and hoarding as a synonym of happiness.

 

The cult of individualization will cease to exist as an external experience and instead, be lived as a constant well-being that exists when harmony between individuals is built in Self-Honesty as the realization of the value of Life that we all equally embody.

 

Greed and overconsumption will at last be understood and recognized as a mental condition that will be treated accordingly by specialists to align the self-interest patterns toward a common well being that will result in a sound living being that will learn how to coexist in an Equal basis with all other living species alike.

It is clear that the responsibility begins with educating ourselves and parents through providing this education, which we are already applying and living, as well as providing it for every person that is genuinely interested Stand Up and become a solution to create a world where life is valued as Life itself, as who we are in Equality.

 

 
Educational division of Equal Money:
 

Matti (2)

Artwork by Matti Freeman

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http://www.matterfreeman.blogspot.com/
http://equalmoneyendspoverty.blogspot.com/
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280. Austerity is Self Abuse

 

Negative  Charge Self Forgiveness on the Word Reward based on the memory explained in the previous blog

Continuing from:

reward
n    noun a thing given in recognition of service, effort, or achievement. a fair return for good or bad behaviour. a sum offered for the detection of a criminal, the restoration of lost property, etc.
n    verb give a reward to. show one’s appreciation of (an action or quality) by making a gift. Ø(be rewarded) receive what one deserves.

Related Words bonus, lagniappe, premium; bonanza,jackpot, treasure trove; award, decoration, distinction,honor, plume, prize, trophy; gratuity, tip; desert(s), wages

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify the word ‘reward’ with a negative charge due to how I would get rewards from doing good in school and me believing that this was not honest from myself to accept such reward.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I could only stand as an honest person if I didn’t accept money as a reward for doing my responsibility, which was being a student at school.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to judge as dishonest to anyone else that I would witness would want to ‘win’ as in having good grades in school in order to ask their parents for all types of rewards, wherein I would place myself as superior and ‘beyond’ their desires of using their grades as a way to manipulate their parents to get stuff from doing good in school, which I judged as a conditional aspect that would make the person ‘less valuable’ in my mind, and less trust worthy and as such, attaching this values to myself wherein I would not want to be seen as greedy/ self-interested/ money driven for doing good in school, because that would make myself be ‘less than’ and equal to the people I would judge as self interested/ greedy, without realizing that regardless of me accepting or rejecting money, my existence and sustenance and stability was already fully dependent on Money.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to reject my father’s money as a reward because of equating his ‘care’ and ‘demonstration of support’ with money as a reward, wherein according to me all that I wanted was simply be recognized for my effort and that’s it, which is how I took pride on ‘not wanting money’ because I knew that it was for myself – however this was also only partially true as I realize that I would definitely care about what everyone else had to say about myself, my grades and maintaining a certain place in my class throughout my school years.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the construct of ‘good and bad’ in terms of reward wherein I accepted the fact that one would only obtain money if you were ‘good in school’ and how one would be punished if you were ‘bad in school,’ and as such, create an actual fear to not doing good in school and as such being scolded for it, which really only existed as an inherent fear within my mind because I was certainly not pushed to excel in school, but I became my own worst nightmare when it came to pushing myself to excel and ‘be the best’ and as such even be able to reject any form of reward from doing this effort as and for myself, which I see is only partially so.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize how even though I would want to reject the rewards and believing and saying ‘I don’t require it,’ I would in fact obviously have a cool time with the money obtained with buying things –within this, believing that with me rejecting rewards I was committing a ‘greater sacrifice’ according to myself, and my beliefs of ‘what is more worthy’ and ‘what is more honorable’ wherein in my mind I believed that: the more I reject reward, the more I earn props for my persona due to being seen as Not greedy and Not doing it for the rewards/ money and was such, not realizing that I was in fact creating a positive self-experience of superiority in comparison to others that I would just as money-interested, greedy and convenience-driven in order to move, which I judged as less than and with a sense of dishonor.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a relationship of sacrifice as a positive experience when rejecting reward, which would be similar to overcoming a form of ‘evil’ that I had considered money to be and as such, be considered as this ‘special person’ at the eyes of others for being ‘uninterested in money,’ which only now can I begin to see and realize what type of limitation this in fact means, because I didn’t develop a proper equal and one relationship and understanding toward money, but instead I created a relationship of rejection and through rejecting creating a positive experience, wherein as long as I was supported to live, the ‘extra rewards’ would be always accepted through the same experience of rejection and desire for the money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a rejection toward the word ‘rewards’ seeing it as manipulative and a point of convenience that I could only get If I had certain positive outcome in school, which then made it fairly obvious how it was a process of giving a ‘prize’ for doing what I realized was my responsibility and in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain reacting toward the word reward from the memory of me having obtained rewards from doing good in school and as such, I realize that I am not unconditionally looking at the word reward, but instead imposing my experience of rejection toward rewards based on the memory with my father giving me money for doing good in school

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word ‘Reward’ with money as a form of convenience, extra-support, preferential treatment, specialness, luxury that I have separated myself from based on the values that I accepted and allowed myself to define my reality through, wherein I see that we have all participated in the configuration and perpetuation of our current money system based on the beliefs of values in separation of ourselves as life, as physical equal beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a Negative Charge upon my father’s action and moment of him giving me money/ giving away his money wherein I created a relationship of rejection and desire for the money in the following way

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place a negative charge toward receiving money from my father because of thinking that it is his hard earned money and I do not deserve to take it, because what I’ve done is only my responsibility – and within this, reject the money that he is giving me as a reward/gift/prize for the recognition of my school performance and in this, creating a negative experience in the moment of receiving money as if I simply was not worth it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to generate a self-belief of myself being special and unique because I could turn money down, and define myself as ‘better than’ because of doing that, and specifically defining myself as a  ‘good humble person’ in contrast to others that would be ‘glad’ to accept the money/ reward and enjoy it. 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create a compassionate experience when getting money because of realizing that not everyone was going to be able to obtain these rewards and how some others would get punished instead, wherein I became aware of how while I would get all the rewards and glory, others would have a really tough time and as such

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the experience of getting money/ rewards with an emotional experience of shame and guilt because of knowing that no one else would be as ‘rewarded’ as myself and as such ‘feel bad’ for others in the moment of receiving this reward wherein I began to ‘care more for others’ and their experience than myself, which became a pattern to justify not looking at myself first and actually accepting a reward as a single recognition that my parents wanted to give to me as an incentive to keep going, within this believing that ‘I don’t require an incentive,’ however, deep inside I would definitely care to be recognized and praised by my efforts in one way or another, which means that I was only wanting to present a self-belief experience of myself as ‘better than’ and ‘more than’ others based on being uninterested in money and paradoxically, valuing myself as superior by rejecting such value as money.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link money to a negative charge because of realizing it is not a readily available item that we can all have, but instead, it is a ‘hardly earned thing’ that enables us to live and as such, learn to fear losing money, to fear earning money, to be lured into wanting more money and as such generate a fear of having ‘power’ as money in my hands.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to generate an emotional experience of rejection when receiving money due to believing that the other person is seriously sacrificing themselves to give me that money and as such, belittle myself in terms of being ‘worthy’ of such money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse getting rewards within a point of morality based on the linkage of rewards with money, and money linked with power that I was taking from someone realize and as such, I realize that I became evasive toward money because of ‘not earning it myself’ and as such feeling bad because I was ‘sucking  someone else dry’  in favor of my own benefit, without realizing how the entire money system in fact works wherein all our money is currently the symbol of having the ability to abuse and exploit for our own lives to be ‘sustainable,’ not really looking at the actual cost of such ‘sustainability’ that is mostly defined through relationships of inequality where some are deliberately left behind so that they can become the work force that sustains a world-system that works only for those that have enough money to live.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create my happiness point of being regarded as a non-superficial person by not being interested in money and as such, be regarded by others as a ‘genuinely responsible person’ because of not wanting to accept any form of reward from what I deemed was my responsibility – however

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to play an ambivalence within this point because I realize that this was the personality/ character that I wanted to be perceived as, as a genuine ‘good person’ that is ‘humble’ and is not interested in doing well in school just to get the money – however, once the money was there, I would play ‘humble’ for a moment and then accept the money while creating an experience of ‘I don’t deserve it’ so as to create this experience of belittlement and within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of ‘I don’t deserve this’ and belittlement when receiving money in order for people to insist on give it to me and insist on me deserving it and as such, create a life-long pattern of expecting people to tell me what to do/ what is ‘ok’ to take and what is not instead of me just accepting something unconditionally when it is given to me unconditionally without fearing the ‘what will they think of me if I just take it’ –

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to reject rewards from the starting point of wanting to be seen as not vain and money-interested within the backchat of ‘I don’t require money to move myself’  wherein I wanted to be looked at as a genuinely humble and grounded person that isn’t responsible for the money/ rewards, without realizing how everything that I would do was possible because of money and as such only existing in this relationship of conflict toward ‘extra money’ without considering how the very fact that I was able to have an education, house, family, food, etc. was possible only because of money.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to maintain a self-belief of me not being interested in money and as such linking this idea to me being ‘more pure’ and ‘more genuine’ than the rest of people and as such, generating a self-belief of being more ‘honest’ and ‘trust worthy’ because I would not do something just because of the reward, however, once that I was aware of what the reward would enable me to buy/ consume, I would want to keep my façade in place of ‘not wanting the reward,’ while at the same time decide to take the money and enjoy what I would buy with it.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imprint an experience of shame and embarrassment when receiving extra money or payment money wherein I believe that I should stick to getting no money at all for what I do, as I do it as an extension of my self-expression. However I realize that in this world, we have not yet equalized our expression as mutual and equal support – thus, money is necessary and me creating an experience toward money as something that I reject receiving, is rejecting my ability to instead equalize myself to money and use it to continue supporting myself to obviously establish a world system wherein no one will ever again have to go through this polarity experiences toward money as a point of desire and rejection based on looking at the values that we’ve given to money, and how hard it is to currently make ‘extra’ money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a polarity conflict of want and rejection toward money based on me wanting to preserve a positive self-experience of ‘not being interested in money’ while at the same time, desiring the money because of what I could buy with it and enjoy.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as ‘better than/ superior’ than anyone else that would only do their job/ responsibilities because of the reward, and within this creating a superiority point of me ‘not requiring rewards to move’ and as such, value myself as ‘more than others’ while at the same time creating a relationship of rejection toward money as something that ‘I did not want to corrupt myself with.’ —- oh!

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the word reward to corruption because of believing that one should not be ‘lured’/corrupted in order to do one’s responsibilities, but instead, should be self-motivated, without realizing that even the responsibilities that I would carry out ‘without interest,’ were in fact stemming from the desire to create a positive/ superiority idea of myself  and as such, I see and realize that I haven’t been genuine in my self-proclaimed austerity/detachment/ indifference toward money, as I also participated in the superiority construct of self-value in my mind as ‘better than everyone else’ because of not being moved to ‘win’ but simply do what I had to do.

 

When and as I see myself creating a negative experience of rejection/ shame/ embarrassment as self judgment when receiving money/ rewards as an outcome of my own work, I stop and I breathe – I direct myself to realize it is just money that I require currently to be able to live and keep moving myself and such, I stabilize my relationship with money, to no longer belittle myself to it or make myself ‘superior’ for rejecting money within a positivity construct.

 

I realize that inequality exists as the set of values and concepts in our mind as words that we haven’t lived physically yet, because if that was the case, we would not be dwelling with poverty, scarcity, hunger and a general lack and disparity, because we would all be recognizing each other as an equal part of ourselves, in equality, extending the ‘me’ to an us and as such realize that we cannot allow one more part of such me starve to death due to us continuing this game of money/reward and lack/austerity. Thus, this is a process to establish self awareness in all aspects till we all can equally agree that the current way of how this world system is being directed/ misdirected is not sustainable, and how we have to step out of our characters in order to establish common sense which is money equally supporting all living beings

I realize that we have only made of rewards a point of conflict within ourselves based on how our current economic system works, which can be redefined in order to support everyone equally and as such, no more differentiation and separation as a guilt/ remorse experience for having money when others don’t have any/ when others are not equally able to be rewarded because of not having the skills/ opportunities to even be in such a position of ‘competing’ in the world to get rewards.

 

I realize that I created a polarity relationship toward rewards based on the morality construct of me wanting to be seen/ regarded as someone that is not self interested and as such, earn ‘props for my ego’ which is also part of the idea-belief of myself as ‘more’ than others that I would judge as dishonest and greedy, within this not realizing how within me wanting to be ‘more’ than others through being ‘more honest,’ I was already participating in the separation of myself through valuing myself according to others in constructs created and shaped by the existence of money as a value over life.

 

Thus, I see, realize and understand that my inner conflict with rewards only exists because I have allowed myself to believe that someone that refuses rewards is ‘more’ than those that only work for the rewards, without realizing that we can redefine rewards as a single outcome of our equal and one participation in a system wherein there are no ‘extra’ points other than the direct outcome of our mutual support wherein equal profit obtained through our labor is what signifies a physical giving and receiving in Equality, available for all that understand how a reward is no longer an extra value/ extra giving as a form of specialness, but it is a recognition of each other as equals.

 

I realize that such statement of ‘I don’t require money/ rewards to move myself’ is in fact an ego-driven statement, because I definitely realize how everything that we are is currently moved and possible because of money and how money words within our  current system – hence I realize that this relationship of rejection to money existed because of learning how money was not something that ‘grew out of trees’ even if the pater is from tress, but it had to be ‘earned through hard work’ and such linking money to being someone’s suffering that I could not accept as a reward, because of wanting to be seen as a ‘good person’ that does not require such earned-through-‘’hard work money because it would make me subject to the giver of such money in a relationship of self-interest instead of genuine appreciation for our efforts.

 

I realize that I refused money in self interest to keep a certain idea/ belief of myself as being ‘right’ and ‘better than’ everyone else that would immediately be moved by money, do everything for money which I judged as sleazy and degenerative. In this, only really caring about the ‘who I am’ toward money, creating a polarity relationship toward money as refusing and desiring at the same time, wherein I learned how to view money as this valuable object that I should not ‘sell myself’ for, not understanding that I was already only alive due to my parents having enough money to support me to live, because that’s the current condition we’ve placed in this world wherein I depend on others to live, because they are the only ones able to make money and as such, take for granted our lives and created a limiting system wherein we can only value what has a number/price on it, forgetting everything about ourselves as human beings that are able to live in self-honesty without requiring to be moved by some form of ‘reward’ to do the best of ourselves in all our activities and areas of expression in our day to day living.

 

I realize that we have become too used to this reward system that, the same as with money, we have to instead redefine money in its core functioning and as such, rewards will also not be incentives to move promoting a winning-losing situation in schools, but instead understand the basic law of giving and receiving: when we give, we allow ourselves to receive equally as a physical in-breath and out-breath to ensure that all parts are equally supported, which is physical common sense.

 

I realize that I require to equalize myself to money and the word reward as an equal and one giving and receiving aspect that is not signifying a ‘moreness’ but rather a receiving that is an automatic outflow when setting up ourselves within a system where everyone can be benefitted with having access to all the resources and services that make our lives be comfortable and dignified, wherein no one else would have to ‘compete’ in school for the sake of getting the best job/ earning the most money in one’s adulthood, but instead focus on actually developing skills not based on survival but true self-expression and exploration of our abilities once that money is not used as a motivator to excel, but simply as a given right to regulate our equal and living system which is what Equal Money Capitalism presents.

 

I realize that seeking austerity has become a consequence of me having created this relationship toward money wherein it has not been a self directive decision but instead to keep this personality of ‘good/ benevolent uninterested in money person’ that lives in an austere manner as proof of ‘me not caring much about money,’ which in fact means that I am not really giving what’s best for myself due to this conditioning and pattern – which is not acceptable because If I am standing for and As what’s best for all, I have to live it as myself in order to stand as the example of how we can practically move ourselves to make of money a Tool that enables a dignified living for all, instead of just focusing on maintaining my rejection/ desire self-interest relationship toward money.

 

I realize that this belief of austerity being benevolent is in fact self abuse and as such, I realize that it is only my own brainwashing that has accepted limitation as a ‘dignified living’ which it is certainly not, as I see and realize that I would not want to remain living the way that I’ve ‘chosen’ to live just to prove that I am not ‘interested in money, ‘and instead

 

I commit myself to equalize my relationship to money, to ensure that I in fact first live ‘what’s best for myself as what’s best for all’ within the understanding that accepting anything less than what I realize we are capable and able to give ourselves is self-abuse and self-diminishing. Instead, we have to redefine what dignified living is wherein it does not mean ‘having more than others’ but having the necessary to live well, with comfort, general services, food, water, quality products that enables us to enjoy life without harming and annihilating the environment.

 

I commit myself to continue redefining my relationship to rewards and money as I see and realize that the way I have been living up to now has been a process of self manipulation as an ego that ‘rejects money’ to praise myself as superior than others, not realizing that in this belief of self-sacrifice I am in fact not honoring myself and not living to my fullest potential in all areas of my life, and I realize that self-value as Equality must be absolute, no hidden specialness with regards to money and within this

 

I commit myself to realize and live the understanding that it is only through equalizing myself to money that I can in fact be self directive with it, because within rejection and desire we are still moved by our mind – instead we look at money as possibilities for expansion, to continue supporting ourselves to demonstrate what is possible when we work together to establish a fair equality system, where actual enjoyment of life and responsibilities won’t be opposed or be against one another, but instead stand as a giving and receiving in Equality.

 

I commit myself to live the realization that austerity measures in this world system are a justification to abuse and neglect life to be equally supported, which is unacceptable. Thus I stop living this ‘austerity measure’ as a deliberate self-diminishing and rejection toward money which his only a character that is not self supportive and that is in fact just another side of elitism, since I have the ability to ‘reject’ money that is ‘extra’ because I  have enough to live – but I see and realize that this is not an option for many and that the majority is certainly screaming for us to stop looking at things as ‘power’ and ‘control’ but instead regard the actual lives that we are abusing just to keep our ‘deficits’ in place, which is unacceptable.

 

We are absolutely capable of living in a system wherein we can support each other as equals – austerity measures can only be an outflow of a deliberate unbalance upon which our current system is functioning. Therefore, we require to first equalize ourselves and our relationship to money and as such, understand what type of beliefs/ constructs we’ve accepted to limit ourselves and our capacity/ ability to live in dignity.

 

“Your physical labour life force – is for most part, Not Valued AT ALL; humans actually doing physical labour are valued Next-to-Nothing, while human beings doing Mental Labour – are Valued More: here, the REALITY, physicality is valued not at all, while the Mental/Illusion is valued most. So, Physical Force is denied, while Mental Force is Exalted. Which is Exactly what we do in/as our own Minds: Our Imagination/Illusion is Valued Most and so we give/pay MORE of our beingness/physicality to/as it, or shall we say Sacrifice More of our beingness/physicality to/as it. Instead of Investing our Beingness/Awareness into and as Physical Equal and One LIVING – which is not a process of a Payment, it’s a Stand of Realisation and of LIVING. This is Why we don’t LIVE in this physical existence, everything had been Valued according to more/less Reward for which you must PAY with PAY in fact being a SACRIFICE.” – Sunette Spies*

Further Support:

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:


263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

Self Forgiveness, Self Corrective Statements and Self Commitments

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the thoughts of me being inherently flawed and incomplete and unfulfilled is in fact who I really am, and within this, seeking for a remedy and solution outside of myself through drugs, spirituality, money, sex, entertainment, sports, media and everything that I have participated in in order to not have to investigate How I have created such self-experience through my own participation in my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it difficult to wake up every morning and start a new day, because I have allowed myself to Think as the memory that I have been and become, instead of breathing and being as unconditional as the physical body that I am that does not take a moment to ‘think’ about its existence, but is unconditional in self movement – I realize that I have allowed myself to be tormented by my own self-belief of there being something ‘wrong’ with me and starting thinking that this life is ‘not worth living/ I am not worth living’ and within such thinking processes, I lead myself to seek for a quick fix that will alleviate this inherent self-loathing, self deprecation that leads to self destruction that is sought through anything that can give me a sense of pleasure and enjoyment, even if it is for a moment – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resort to drugs and any other activity that I have turned into a habit as a way to avoid seeing myself as my own mind, which is the actual origin of this instability and dissatisfaction that I experience myself as and that I try to escape from, without realizing that I cannot escape from myself through using drugs or any other means to avoid looking at my self responsibility within creating such self-loathing thinking, and instead I see that I must investigate my own thinking, my own feelings and emotions as the origin and source of this dread that I experience as ‘my life.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give my attention, my focus and produce energy to all thoughts linked to a dissatisfaction with life, believing that I can’t go on anymore/ this is just too much/ what’s the point in living? – and within these thoughts allowed myself to go seeking for a way out through drugs, spirituality, sex, consumerism and anything that I have linked to a positive experience in life, without realizing that such habits are only ways to further separate myself from looking at myself as the origin and cause of such instability at a mind level.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to really look within myself how is it that I can change my way of being from one moment to another based on the stimuli that I get from the outside world, and within this, not realizing that if I can change myself in one single moment to experience myself in either a positive or a negative experience, this must mean that these aberrant thoughts of self-deprecation and unfulfillment are equally stoppable and preventable, as I realize that it is only through my own participation that I have given attention to become them, embody such instability through fueling such thoughts as who I am, instead of for a moment breathing and stopping to see What am I actually giving my attention to? What am I actually feeding here? Is this really who I want to direct myself to be thinking as? And within this, assist and support me to stand outside the usual self-deprecation that I have experienced as ‘my life’ and ‘who I am,’ which I understand is able to be stopped, self forgiven and corrected as I realize that who I am as a physical being does not exist as self-destructive thoughts, but it is only me as the mind as who I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become that I have given my breaths away to these experiences, without having any idea of how my mind operates in my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about my experience at a mind level through thoughts, emotions and feelings, instead of using my mind to instead place my attention and focus on the physical reality that I embody as  my physical body, and within this observe the common sense of what unconditional living is: unconditional movement to function properly as a living-system that maintains the actual life that we are as living beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to instead of looking back at my own thoughts and understand ‘who I am’ and have become through understanding my thoughts and creating a point of self-correction as my mind/ as my thoughts, I have tried to quiet my mind/ stop thinking through using drugs, sex, alcohol, media, books, entertainment, friends, any and all things and people that I have in fact used and abused in order to ‘get lost’ within myself, without realizing that in this condition, I am not only abusing others but myself as my physical body because I had not seen, realized and understood how it is that the mind can only function through consuming the physical substance of our physical body, which means that every time that we think, become emotional or participate in positive feelings, I am in fact not living but only fueling a system within and as myself as the mind that I have not yet aligned myself to in order to be the directive principle of what I decide to participate in, realizing that the actual expression of myself has never existed and that all that I have been is a mind consciousness system of patterns that I have believed is ‘who I am’ and are immovable, unchangeable – thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within these thoughts of giving up my ability to change, I have resorted to mitigate the problem and try and hide from my own mind through using drugs, alcohol, sex, any form of entertainment that instead of it being a self directive decision to entertain myself, experience sex and a genuine self-expression as a physical being in this world, I have made of everything just a drug that I can hook myself to in order to ‘cope with reality,’ instead of realizing how coping with reality is a sign of me not looking at myself as the origin and cause of such problem and distress in the first place.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that within this inherent instability as the mind, we have equally created a world that is equally unstable due to us never having had the considering toward Life as who we are – and in this, becoming actual zombies that accept things ‘as they are’ without  a question, seeking for a meaning and purpose in life outside of yourself, instead of actually understanding the responsibility that we hold toward ourselves as our physical body, our mind, every single thought, every single emotion, every single feeling – there is nothing and no one to blame for how this world has turned out to be this way, it is our collective participation and within that,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame the ‘state of the world’ as it being ‘fucked up’ and use this excuse to numb myself from myself and separate myself from being self-aware through using drugs, medication, sex, alcohol, entertainment and my own mind of imagination, feelings, emotions that I have believed is in fact who I am – without realizing that in this attempt to ‘escape’ from this ‘fucked up world,’ I am becoming an equal co-creator of ubiquitous negligence that we have participated in within our reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for a meaning to life through using relationships, drugs, entertainment and my own mind to separate myself from the reality that I have inf act allowed myself to participate in without being aware of what my relationship to everyone and everything in fact is, and how with me wanting to ‘escape from reality’ and take drugs to solve the problem, I am in fact only adding up to the social problem we’re living in, wherein life has never been lived but only abused and as such, I realize that through my self-abuse I never contributed to any living expression thus

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about reality, complain about the system, complain about nothing in this world working outside of myself, but never pondering how it is that I am contributing through my own thoughts and emotions for it to not work work/ function properly, which is the key factor that I realize will enable me to realize one thing: If I am in fact willing to assist and support myself and stand as a sound being that can take my life in my hands and will myself to live, I can in fact do so, I can dedicate my life to get to know me, how I created this flawed self experience and such, take my life on my hands and walk a process of self-correction through Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty, Self Corrective Application wherein I can in fact become a self-responsible being that stops seeking for a remedy, a solution, a way Out of myself, as I see and realize that using drugs or any other means of escaping from myself only aggravates my self-experience and can lead to an inevitable premature death – because death is certain anyways for all beings – however, I would have to ask myself: am I ready to die and have the certainty that I have done everything that is available in my reality to support myself?

 

I realize that nothing and no one will change me, nothing and no one will provide a solution other than the one that I direct myself to live – and this is how through my own words, through the very same tools I have used to define myself as thoughts, feelings and emotions, I can become a self directive being that understands how it s that I am perfectly able to stop participation in all thoughts that I see are not self supportive, stop participation in all emotions that I realize lead me nowhere but further down the rabbit hole and also stop seeking the opposite positive experience, as I realize that happiness is a mental place that is not sustainable as a living-actuality of who I am as the physical body.

 

I realize that self-stability is able to be lived as a will and decision to support myself to be and become this physical stability, equal to the one we are breathing in every single moment that we are here on this Earth. It will take time – yes – but the decision is able to be made and lived in every momenta s a constant decision of who I will myself to be.

 

I realize that  I have spent a lot of time entertaining myself with my thoughts that I got lost within it all and as such, I have to deliberately direct myself to stop any craving for a positive experience or negative experience that I have become so used to in my mind, take my life on my hands, and begin footing myself as breath in every moment, writing myself out to see who I am in one day as my mind , as I realize that every solution I thought was  adequate to myself as my mind has only become more consequential without an actual solution but further dependencies on people, places, drugs, substances in order to get a temporary high, which is unsustainable and will only lead me to self destruction.

 

I realize that I don’t require to buy, consume or seek for remedies outside of myself, nor do I requite to seek for a meaning or purpose to life outside of myself as an energetic experience, but that I am already here, complete and whole as myself and that any perceived problem is only existent at the level of my own mind that is in fact the nature that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and proven to be consequential and conflictive to myself, it does not support myself as life nor does it support any other living being –

 

I commit myself to live the realization that it is common sense to assist and support myself to decide to walk a process to support myself to Live and as such, to become a living example of what it is possible to be and become when existing as breathing, living earthlings that start looking outside of our tunnel vision of self deprecation and start considering the life that we have blinded ourselves from through our own participation in the mind, instead of being here as the physical. 

 

I commit myself to develop self worth, self respect and integrity as a human being that is no longer willing to support any form of self abuse which is stopping participation in all thoughts, feelings and emotions that we have become as our mind, and in fact be willing to give myself another opportunity to live and become the expression of life that I always wanted to be and become, which I realize can only be real if every single being is equally supported to live in dignity and care for one another.

 

I realize that the physical support I am able to give to myself is existent here as myself, as the physical body that I commit myself to feed properly, to exercise, to breathe and become aware of every breath which is a constant self-directive attention that I commit to give to myself, as I have seen, realized and understood how it is in fact possible to stop the parasitical ego from becoming an unfulfilled leech that I am always feeding through my participation in thoughts, emotions and feelings that I am in fact able to stop.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System as the political and economical system that will ensure that no more beings seek a way out of the world, our minds, our own self-experience because of not having a proper education, living support as food, water, shelter, comfort and a living right to express and enjoy what is here within the basic foundation of supporting ourselves as equals/ in equality, to live, to be self directive and honor ourselves as the life that we have embodied  and never again neglect life as we have done thus far.

 

“There is One Way Out, which is Death. Or there is Another Way out, which is Self Forgiveness and Self Honesty. One of the Two are your Future.

The One Allows you the Gift of Life, as Part of this Physical World. The Other means: you have to Start All Over again, because you didn’t have Enough Integrity and Willpower to Care about Life, and your Self-Interest Won the Day.
WHO will you Be? Your Imagination? Or Real?
You Decide…for as long as you can. But, the Line is Drawn. And, if you Fail at this – you Will be withdrawn from Earth.” –Bernard Poolman 

 

Choose Life

Further support:

 

 

Can you bleed like me

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:


261. Know Thy Demonic Addicted to Energy Self

When looking at pictures/video of people on drugs and drunk, it is inevitable to not see it as an aberration to what is considered normal for us within human behavior – of course this is more visible with alcohol for example, such as the amount of pictures we got to see today from ‘new year’s eve bash’ wherein there’s a literal bashing toward the physical body

Welcome to 2013: Shameful scenes of booze-fuelled New Year’s chaos in cities across Britain

and it is still quite shocking to see fellow beings of the same species as myself in such dire conditions. Are these beings in any way self-aware of what they are doing to their physical bodies with the amount of drugs/ alcohol they are ingesting? No – hence, it is a clear indicative of mind-possession that is no different to being demon possessed, since it can only be an energy-experience that which is being sought through the identification of ourselves as energy such as emotions, feelings, thoughts that lead us to do ‘whatever it takes’ to simply ‘get out of ourselves’ for a moment. One single question: is it really ourselves as the physical body pleading to ‘escape from reality’ or is it the mind?

Our physical body is absolutely self-aware and functional without requiring a mind to ‘think’ for it to breathe, digest food and do all the necessary processes to keep itself alive when having the necessary fuel/ food to exist – then, what is is that makes our self-experience so miserable? The mind, and the mind is not a foreign entity, it is a systematized version of ourselves as all the relationships we’ve formed toward energy as the identification of ‘who we are,’ without ever being aware of how energy exists, how it is formed and what is consists of, which is essentially representing our primordial separation from our initial stage of absolute equality and oneness. It’s been a long way since then to what we see today as an outflow of mind-possessed people, drug addicts and any other person attempting against their own life while existing only as the thoughts, the self-experience that leads one to just want to kill, consume drugs, escape reality, do anything we can to escape ourselves, our own mind, without realizing we created the whole experience in the first place, we accepted and allowed it and nothing or no one will ‘save us from ourselves’ other than ourselves.

 

Desteni presents the material to understand why these mind possessions/ demon-possessions take place, how it functions, why it functions this way, how come we have been veiled from understanding these basic facts about our self existence and equally important: the tools of self support to be able to Stop manifesting further consequence and be able to support oneself to become a living being that is no longer willing to exist as a piece of fuel for the mind to consume, which is no different to how we are consuming the Earth’s resources to manifest our current world-system wherein we follow the light and love of the mind-experiences and beLIEve that ‘no one gets hurt’ from that – well, that is plain ignorance and the material is here for your education (see at the end of the blog the list of interviews/ videos/ website for further support)

 

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

The question in the back of the head is: why would we do something like this to ourselves? What is driving us to such a physical abuse and self denigration such as the point we take ourselves to with alcohol and drugs? The answer is the mind as a system that represents and stands as the mirror of our beingness/ who we have become in separation of ourselves that feeds off of the energy that is able to be obtained from the physical body itself as a the source of substance that is transformed as a fuel for the mind to exist, which is what energy represents: an abusive relationship that we have externalized as our reality and that we fuel/enhance with the use of drugs/alcohol in various ways and a variety of ‘effects’ that we believe is somehow leading us to ‘escape from ourselves’ while in fact, the absolute opposite is happening.  This is all explained in the Quantum Mind Self Awareness interviews as well as the Demons in the Afterlife interviews wherein it is quite shocking to get the perspective of how demons would see the mind as this frightening entity existing in the body, and us human beings being literally mind-possessed believing that the entire configuration of ‘who we are’ as our personality/ ego is ourselves, absolutely unaware of the mind as as an actual merciless leech existing within/as us, simply because we identified with all thoughts, feelings and emotions, all backchat/ internal conversations as who we are.

And this is How we got ourselves to create all forms of discomfort with ourselves as a physical body, as a being in this world: we accepted our Thinking as who we are, we accepted our internal conflict/ discomfort/ tormented thoughts as ‘who we are,’ we accepted this emotional distress as ‘who we are,’ we accepted these judgments of emotions and feelings as ‘who I am’  – this is what we have become: a mind-possessed individual by a system that we accepted and allowed ourselves to be/become, a system that reflects that inherent separation from who we are as physical beings.

The reason why Desteni is such an important point to understand within this is because: unless one study how the mind operate within the physical, we will still hold on to the ‘nice experiences’ that we have defined our emotions and feelings to be, absolutely unaware of the gruesome detail of how energy is formed and resourced from the physical body.  Want some proof?

A basic interview of demonpossession and the existence of the interdimensional portal:  Journeys into the Afterlife – The Physical Demon – Part 9 and Journeys into the afterlife Seeing mind in the Physical – Part 23 to understand to what extent the truth of all things ‘unexplainable’ has been revealed already, just not everyone in this world is aware of it.

 

Unless one understand/get to know how the mind operates in the physical, we’ll continue to indulge in our own mind-possessions, and dare I say that even with understanding how this entire process takes place, stopping the energetic addiction to any self-experience requires an extreme amount of self-discipline in order to commit ourselves to stop the actual addiction/dependence that we have created toward our own mind. Just like quitting any drug or alcohol-addiction, stopping participation in our mind is the first step: withdrawing from that constant desire to experience energy is just like telling a vampire to no longer suck blood, we believe we will die without it, but we don’t, we don’t require emotions, feelings and thoughts to function as a physical body and this is precisely the common sense we explain at Desteni: our entire world system is the externalization of the mind and its workings within the physical body: we are scavenging, using, abusing, raping, murdering, exploiting this physical world to power our individual delusions of grandeur, which is usually seen/ portrayed as ‘positive things’ like love, happiness, sex, money, success, royalty,  fame, fortune, beautiful pictures that evoke a sense of ‘peace and joy’ while being absolutely unaware of how the mind is precisely creating such experiences within ourselves by the most hideous means that involve the consumption of our own flesh in the name of ‘our god’ Energy.

 

This is a basic aspect to understand within the experiences we will see in our reality: people getting more and more lost in the mind and believing ‘no one can help them’ but the fact is that we require an exorbitant amount of self will to realize one single thing: there is no one or nothing to blame for what we are internally experiencing, this is no ‘god cursing’ here, this is only the result of an entire existence as humanity of absolute neglect toward life and it is only fair now that we start paying for all the damage we’ve done.

 

We live by the tools of self support that Desteni presents and has directly supported every single being that has the absolute life-dedication to become a Living being in the actual definition of what Living implies: stopping existing as this mind-driven organic robot and become self-directive, self aware and as such, stop existing as a mind-possessed bot that seeks for love, light, sex, drugs, alcohol and fun, neglecting the reality of actual suffering, abuse and violence that exists as a counter act for anyone that dares to solace in ‘having a great life’ – when will we realize that No One in this world will be absolutely ‘fine’ and ‘happy’ unless ALL Living beings are Equally Supported as Life?

 

It is necessary for us to face what is coming ahead, it won’t be pretty but we are all certainly responsible. Do not fear as it is only us finally being able to stop placing mirrors in front of ourselves toward the ‘outside’ to blame and instead, take it back to self and realize what we have become. For this, we have the tools of Self-Forgiveness, Self Honesty, Self Corrective Application in order to finally understand that it is only through Words and Sound that we will be able to stand finally as self directive beings that have programmed ourselves to perpetuate the decay we are all currently participating in as The Mind.

It is only through this possession of who we are as energy that we drive ourselves to the most hideous ways of self abuse wherein drug and alcohol addiction only represent a catalyst to what is Already existent within us: the The Reality of Human Nature is Not Benevolence: Welcome to Reality.

 

“If you could only See what the Source of Light is, in your Mind: you would NEVER Trust it Again. But you can’t – because: the You that’s Looking, is not Looking with Physical Eyes, but is Looking with Imagination. And in Imagination: you can make-up Any Illusion to your Heart’s Content. That’s Why you Shouldn’t Trust the Content of your Heart. Because, the Heart Imagined as some ‘Higher Force’ – is but just another Illusion, to Keep the Mind in Control. While you are Not in Control of the Mind. So Sad.” – Bernard Poolman * 

 

 

— This will continue

 

For Further support:

Demonology 

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course of Self Support to get to meet your demons

 

 

‘Happy New Year’

 

Blogs:


258. Spiting The System with Drugs

Continuing from:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept drugs as a form to overcome the dullness, the dissatisfaction and boredom that is experienced at a mind level when living in a society/ world system wherein ‘there is not much to do’ other than surviving through schooling/ jobs, having relationships and no aspiration to continue supporting such an enslaving system that is binding everyone to an endless payroll, and through drugs/ alcohol seeking a temporary ‘escape’ from the reality of suffering and abuse, without realizing that within indulging in drugs and any other harmful substance ingestion, one is contributing to perpetuate the same system of Self-Abuse that one tries to ‘overcome’ through taking drugs/ alcohol and sex – within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually see why drugs and alcohol have not been absolutely banned/ controlled from our reality, because it is the only way that ‘the slaves are happy’ – the slaves being us/ everyone living in this world system and having only the ‘right to life’ if having money in the pocket.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see why drugs – even in conditions of poverty and scarcity – are still an elitist resource to neglect one’s world and reality while existing as a justification and excuse of ‘the system is ignoring me/ I want to escape from this world,’ wherein a victimization is used as a form to retaliate against ‘the system,’ without realizing that the system is ourselves, and the more we retaliate and try and antagonize the system, we only feed the necessary polarity to cause further friction and conflict that generates further measures of control which leads to more extreme ways of drugs/ alcohol/ weapon trafficking as well as every other activity that goes hand in hand within this drug culture such as robbing, prostitution, gang formation, rapes, domestic violence, poverty, health problems, familial disruption and the list goes on.

 

I realize that the crisis that the ‘drug world’ is stemming from this initial belief of drugs being an ‘alternative’ to this reality as a ‘salvation’ from a physical nightmare, not realizing that such salvation/ little piece of heaven is actually the first step to get hooked on an addiction that will have to be maintained through using money, the same money that keeps this entire system in place which means that no drug consumption can be a way to ‘escape the system,’ since the very money – or any other activity done to ‘pay’ for the drugs – is directly existent within the rules in which our current capitalist system works – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how there is virtually no escape from our reality through buying/ consuming something that may alter our mind-reality for a moment, as this is equally supporting a business that is illegal, does not contribute to any form of collective benefit – such as taxes – it does not declare any legal profit as any other corporation that might be also antagonized by the ‘rebels’ in society that take drugs/ alcohol, which means that through enrolling in drug consumption/ drug smuggling one is being part of the machinery that is still accepted and allowed as an illegal business that actually runs more money than is often declared by major corporations around the world, which in itself points out how hypocritical it is to be a drug-consumer and dare to criticize the system and even use it as an excuse to consume drugs – without ever considering being part of a solution to create an actual well being that we are all aware is possible to create/ establish in this world – but instead, opt through the apparent ‘easy way out’ that leads to – most of the times – life-long addictions where money is required to keep up with one’s addiction, third parties are eventually harmed through one’s addiction, any form of stability in the system is lost and one’s money only contributes to the drug-trafficking business, which is one of the greatest sources of illicit enrichment in our society.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how it is through drug consumption that one inhibits oneself from being fully Here as an active participant in society that instead directs oneself to be part of a solution to everything that one wanted to escape from through using drugs/ sex/ alcohol as a way to ‘cope’ with reality. I realize that all the money, time, energy wasted to keep an alternate reality can instead be directed toward a point of self responsibility wherein one instead uses such money, time and effort to investigate how we are all equally responsible for how the system works, how it is actually greedy and selfish as the ultimate self interest to believe one ‘does no harm’ while using drugs – even if you are alone in your house – since drugs are the perfect slave-keepers that disable any ability to stand up within common sense to see How we can instead create solutions, and stop running away from the consequences we have created as humanity as this world system.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how all complains about the system’s control, disparity, violent measures of implementing justice that leads to injustice, favoritism, corruption and any form of abuse, is used as a justification to decide to take drugs and ‘be apart’ from this world/ escape from reality and ‘flipping the finger’ to ‘the system/ government’ – without realizing the extent of suppression and actual evasion that takes place when one decides to instead of facing oneself and taking self responsibility, indulge into drugs/ alcohol and any other form of ‘escapism’ in order to ‘feel free’ and ‘superior’ than the system, without having the audacity to question why would ‘the system/ the government’ would still allow such forms of self-abuse as ‘acceptable’ in an underground manner, which should be the actual point to realize here: a massive business such as drugs cannot be left ‘untouched’ by the government/ elites that obviously know such business and drug-culture exists, but it is better for them to keep the masses/people with stupefacient drugs and remaining getting money to pay for them, than actually becoming aware of how the system works, why not everyone is supporting each other equally, why we have created a system based on abuse and such actually become a real awareness that is willing to change the way the system works – within this

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how ignorant is it to actually claim to be ‘spiting the system’ through taking drugs/ alcohol or any other ‘illegal activity’ without realizing that nothing is able to be ‘spiting the system’ as long as profit is made, as long as someone benefits from a drug business  -thus it is to realize how naïve is to consider oneself as a drug consumer as someone that is ‘out of the system’ or ‘more clever’ than the rest of the people that ‘do not consume drugs,’ without realizing how it is actually the other way around, wherein a drug consumer is hooked on paying money/ getting money for a temporary mind-energetic experience while believing there’s some form of ‘freedom’ in doing so, without looking at the obvious self-enslavement that is created within this drug-addict paradigm in which we exist as humanity, no matter ‘where’ in the world we are.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the actual selfishness that exists within drug consumption, wherein one believes that one is ‘stepping out of the cogwheel’ in the system by using money to consume drugs, without being aware of how such money contributes to businesses that do not declare any form of profit in a legal manner, do not pay taxes and as such only create ‘clean’ integral amounts of money for the benefit of a few that have made the greatest businesses in their life out of human’s weakness for an energetic experience as a temporary high and numbing of one’s reality due to ‘problems’  – either internal or external – that are all generated at an individual level in each human being that has accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become our mind that is always seeking for an energetic experience to ‘feel alive.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the ways in which money moves and is created in this world, neglecting how banks benefit from the money that runs within illegal businesses of drug-trafficking and instead, decide to believe that ‘I am doing no harm with my own drug-consumption’ – without realizing that no act is ever isolated in a system wherein all parts are always affecting the whole through thought, word and deed.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that indulging in drugs was a way to become a ‘militant of the truth’ wherein the delusions created while being on drugs are beliefs of self being ‘superior’ or ‘more clever’ than the rest of the society that doesn’t indulge in drugs – without realizing how drugs as a business is the perfect way for a few to make a lot of money, since we have accepted and allowed ourselves to create a condition of addiction to the mind’s experience at a physical level through chemicals and substances that create a self-experience that we have defined as ‘more’ than ourselves – and in this, becoming actually tunnel-visioned zombies that care-less about the whole-reality of this world, how it works, how money operates, what are the solutions to this reality and instead, one reduces one’s world to only seeking moments to get high/ get drunk/ take any form of drug as a way to ‘cope with a reality’ that we are equally shaping through our neglect and irresponsibility of taking drugs/ alcohol as a ‘solution,’ which proves the level of ignorance we have all collectively shared and adopted as ‘who we are’ in order to avoid having to look at ourselves as the creators of the world we have tried to escape from through becoming drug addicts.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how such a perfect form of control is able to be implemented by those with specific interests to keep the ‘masses’ occupied in ‘getting high/ getting the next fix’ – as this narrows down any possibility of actual human awareness of the system of abuse and how we are all equally responsible for it – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how it through the condition of myself accepted and allowed as a mind that enjoys certain experiences of emotions and feelings, that I become a potential drug-user which is not only in the form of our street-drugs/ illegal drugs, but legal drugs for psychological treatments and procedures to create an apparent ‘remedy’ to a condition that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to develop as ‘who we are’ the moment that we believed ourselves to only be our mind and equating life to an experience, missing out all potential to discover what life  really is when reducing it to a series of chemical reactions that must be constantly generated through drugs/ alcohol or any other substance that functions at a mind level, which implies that:

We are all equally responsible for the existence of drugs as a problem in our society, since drugs only function at a mind level and the moment we have all collectively agreed to create a system that only satisfies a few mind-systems seeking constant fulfillment/ pleasure through experiences of the mind we are all agreeing to ‘live’ only to experience these experiences at a mind level defined as ‘happiness,’ without investigating why and how we have to seek for such ‘highs’ and then drop into a low within the mind, and as such realize that the can be an actual physical and tangible way to prevent drug-addiction sin this world, and that is through implementing a world-system based in Equality, wherein our current capitalist system can be aligned toward a best for all outcome with equal-share of all the benefits that only a few get and as such, build the societies that we only ‘dreamed of’ and sought to escape to in our imagination, while missing the fact that we have what we require to do so, to live it out in reality and work together to implement such well being – and within this it is to also see and realize that

 

One will have to give up this self-experience of fulfillment and enjoyment at a mind level to actually focus on the matters at hand as the physical reality that we must all become aware of how it works i n terms of the actual social, political and economical system that has lead us to the current state of the world that one seeks to escape – and instead, direct such anger, frustration, boredom and resentment toward ‘the system’ toward a feasible and practical solution that can be implemented by political means wherein all common sensical living as what’s best for all, is always able to be identified by oneself.

 

It is thus to realize that there will be no need to ‘escape from reality’ if we all instead dedicate ourselves to create a world system that supports all beings equally as Life, creating an actual respect for oneself and each other to create a system wherein on one will have a need to ‘escape’ an actual heaven on Earth we can all agree to create through a democratic vote that each one has the power to exert within the  Equal Money System – it is about time we stop numbing and harming our being that is fully functional and that of others through promoting ways to ‘escape the system’ and instead, work together to make of it the system and reality that we have always wanted to live in but believed ourselves to be incapable of changing – that is no more.

 

No more Highs and, No More Lows.

 

 

 

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257. A Piece of Heaven at the Expense of Life

Why do people turn to drugs? There is a definitive reason that cause all the dimensions that play a role  in our current Drug Culture as either cause/effect,  but a common thing is definitely the root and cause of WHY people turn to drugs. We all know the usual things, for example: to escape from oneself, to hide, to run away from the mind, to stop the abhorrent self-experience, to avoid taking responsibility for one’s life and relationships, self-loathing, etc. – but, have we asked why do we have these problems? One can say: family problems, relationship problems, issues with one’s ‘flawed self,’ physical issues, lack of self esteem, heritage, cultural trends, traditions, religions, survivalism in clans/ mafias/ brotherhoods, spiritual beliefs, shamanism, environmental contingencies, availability of narcotics due to associations/ alliances, legal drugs due to psychological conditions, and the list may go on – However, behind all of this one must see one common thing: human conditions that have lead to all of these problems/ issues/ separations and sectarianism that stems from a basic problem in our society: a lack of support for all living beings to have a dignified living that creates a proper environmental condition where All beings would be able to live without having to worry about not making it through the next day, not having to tolerate the injustice and abuse that is accepted and allowed within a system that only caters for some– that’s it. 

 

And that’s what we know in common sense and what can also be watched in all the various documentaries* about drugs that are affecting our societies wherein there is simply an absolute boredom, menial jobs for the working class – or no job opportunities at all – and a general dissociation from wanting to have anything to do with a ‘shitty world/ shitty system that doesn’t give a fuck about life!’ hence turning to have an alternate reality where ‘everything is fine, a heaven in one’s mind for a moment, a harmful  momentary high that turns into a lethal habit that leads to a living condition that is mostly deplorable in most of the cases, as well as leading to any other ‘sudden deaths’ out of the usual ODs and other negligence  that stems from lacking any form of precaution when ingesting/ inhaling/injecting/smoking a drug. It is even common to have people that do this on a regular basis become ‘icons’ in our society, our ‘role models’ which can already point out what type of ‘human quality’ we’ve become fanatics of.

 

It is also interesting how drug-culture became mainstream to a point now wherein one can watch a “music video” and there’s people smoking weed, one can watch a movie and get all the specifics on how people shoot themselves heroin and even all the withdrawal processes in a explicit manner, like in Trainspotting which is probably one of the most popular and obliged reference about drugs for many people that even learned how to do drugs through watching the movie.  I will tell more about that in following posts.

 

The reason why this is an important topic is because drugs as any other form of escapism, represents the aspect we hold on to the most, as it is a self-created intricate relationship we form with only Experience as an Energetic physical experience induced by chemicals in the physical body – the reason why I find it so important to expose is because it’s ubiquitous nowadays for people to be aware of all types of drugs and ways to get high or even self-harm to get a moment of absolute adrenaline –rush/drug of the mind . That’s becoming a children’s game  and I’m referring to what I became aware of today as the salt and ice challenge – I mean, this is how kids age 10 or even less can get used to having a way to get this absolute pain and fear that are the most ‘powerful’ self-experiences created at a mind level when inducing pain along with the ‘challenge’ aspect – where kids will mostly broadcast themselves doing so to ‘prove’ to others they are able to ‘handle it,’ and what mostly happens is kids then will turn to seek for more ‘intense experiences’ like that. Even our words and vocabulary is pointing out blatantly what it is that we are inducing within ourselves: that was Intense! all energy based, and if you’ve been reading these series, you would be aware by now of how energy operates within the physical body through consciousness as a system that we believe is ‘who we really are,’ which is comprised of all our thoughts, emotions and feelings that we whole-heartedly have believed is ‘what living is for’ and if not.

 

This Grave mistake of identifying ourselves with all the drama, excitement and high-intensity of any self-experience is what is mostly leading us to an actual death wherein we disregard actual life/living just for a ‘little piece of heaven.’

And this is what’s leading humanity to a certain end if a single pattern of addiction continues without any definitive decision to STOP.

 

Please read the series to catch up to this point:

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

 

I had made a pause in these series due to the impending ‘doomsday’ that I decided to write about due to my inherent responsibility in having participated pretty much in that type of doom-mentality or gloomy-self-experience as we’ve called it – and what is left is pretty much ourselves, having to face what we have become and as such, take the wheel of our reality in all levels, in all ways and have a look at how we’ve become what we’ve become, which is also another form of escapism through the mind to evade the responsibility we all have here.

 

Drug Culture is quite a common topic virtually everywhere in the world, no matter if it’s a high-energy-hyped society like many places in Europe and America or a third world/ poor country in Africa, or under developed regions like South America – everyone’s got the same ‘epidemic’ which is drugs which includes alcoholism as main problems that maim  the ability for any being to realize and take self responsibility, because drugs imply one single point: a giving up experience that is now turned into an addiction, a need, a fascination and obsession wherein people are literally willing to give all their money, all their life just for one single initial ‘rush’ that any drug can give them. While observing this, it is impossible to not create a parallel to what we understand now of how the mind works, wherein we create our own fixations in order to fuel and satisfy this idea of ourselves that we’ve simply copied, absorbed and ‘become/ embodied’ without a question, and that includes addictive patterns of seeking this ‘greatness’ as an energetic experience that is able to be obtained with drugs, pretty much flushing your entire life down the toilette for a single self belief of you being ‘perfectly fine/ in control / able to quit any time and all of the people that have been severely enrolled in hardcore addictions mostly find it very hard if not impossible to actually live out that belief of being able to stop and quit at any time.

 

That is One single dimension of the addiction: the energetic experience that we are familiar with the moment we accept emotions and feelings as ‘who we are’ and what drugs do is an overall enhancement of this relationship within the ‘who we are’ as the mind, which implies that we are completely hooked on absolute self abuse, since any energetic experience  – as anything that requires energy – is not ‘for free,’ it is an actual process of consumption of the very physical tissue/ fabric that provides the necessary resources for any drug to function properly – this is why the deterioration of the physical takes place in drug addicts/ consumers – among other various dimensions that involve the living conditions that hard-core long-time addicts end up living in or are born in, which is also another aspect that leads to drugs – all in all: stems from lacking actual living support in all ways to live in a sound and healthy environment where life could be actually honored = hence it is a matter of Collective Responsibility, since we are all responsible for continuing fueling a system that is not providing a sound environment for us to develop our expression to our utmost potential.

 

The purpose of these blogs will be to point out main factors that lead to drug consumption, the reasons behind that and how to support oneself to Prevent drug-addictions, referencing the usual ways in which one picks up this belief of drugs being the ‘greatest thing ever’ as well as gathering enough strength to realize there IS a solution to this world, there IS a way to support ourselves to stop seeking to ESCape from reality and instead, sober up and stand up to support the actual change we all dreamed of, it’s in our hands, so we must clean our act before we can establish ourselves in the actual world we have all wanted to live in, and within this, also paving the way for the children to come and ensure they do have the absolute opportunities  to Live and express themselves, and never again resort to any form of escapism through the mind to manifest a self-abusive ‘heaven’ in the mind.

 

Erroneously – those that Profess to be ‘Souls’, will Claim that the Body of Flesh is a temporary Illusion. And they would base it on the Experience they Generate through Mind Systems, which Follows the Design of the System where: the Search for Meaning and Reason, would Follow through the Combination of Predesigned Platonic Solids as Key Parts to Systems that produce Energy and Visual Input which the Person Align with, So Intensely that they Believe that it is Real, and they Disregard the Simple Reality of a Breath and Food and Bodily Functions that Keeps them Alive.
In this, these ‘Souls’ End-up Acting like Vampires in the Physical Reality, Seeking to Consume everything in their Path for the Self-Interest of the ‘Feeling’ that Produce, according to them, the ‘Experience of Happiness’. The fact that this ‘Happiness’ is Produced at the Cost of the Suffering of Uncountable Living Beings – Simply is Ignored or Seen as ‘Collateral Damage’ of an Illusion that will ‘Suddenly, Magically’ Disappear.”  – Bernard Poolman +

 

Self Support to Begin your Journey to Life is Here:

 

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Interviews:

 

Documentaries/ Videos suggested that present the context of what Drug Culture implies– Viewers discretion suggested: NSFW


249. Can’t stop the Cookie from Crumbling

 

Consequence is all around us. Creating an experience about what we’ve done and become only complicates everything. I noticed myself assessing my reality and ‘the world’ when coming back to ‘my origins’ and I realized to what extent I have lived in a bubble, no matter where you are, as long as you have money you are protected and separated from Reality. Everywhere it is like a scenario put up to attract money and become a winner, everywhere we all know we lie to each other to get to such positions and such lies and competition are some of the basic components that reveal what we have become.

I discussed many things about our current society and reality, but it all just ends in a hoping-experience stemming from others, that somehow a thing or two will ‘ring a bell’ to make a change, which would still exist as a self-limitation, because every one that is willing to be part of the change, will initiate it themselves.

Continuing from:

The real problems we have neglected in the name of entertaining ourselves so gossip about, it is our responsibility as every word that we speak without awareness of the consequence only adds up to the already existent pile of ‘meaningless lives’ that we have lived, and it’s not to bring anything or anyone down, but it’s plain to see that if the if the Human Race was to be wiped out of the face of the Earth, a small amount of beings would truly be missed, and that says much about who we are and what we have become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever stop desiring to keep going and be alive, without having ever really lived and never having given myself the opportunity to test out what it is to Live the Words I speak and as such, become the principle and directive force as myself, as an individual that recognizes one’s own ability to stand up and live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever seek for ‘an end’ to myself or humanity as a whole, not realizing that in such situation there would be no self-realization of why we became the very reverse of life incarnated and as such, miss out the entire point of living this life of consequence.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how easy it is to get ‘lost’ in the bright and warm colors in reality as all the comfort and security that money is able to provide, wherein one is able to be the one that spares some ‘change’ to a kid selling chewing gum during traffic lights, most likely sent by parents that know a kid triggers more compassion than adults will ever do. I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become ‘used to’ this and forget the very initial shock I got from witnessing this reality, which is clearly a blatant demonstration of how we have made things just normal and go without a care about anything/ anyone else but ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to never really look at all the ‘items’ I possess and disregard its origin and source and as I went reading the tags, realize that having more than enough of what we really use is accumulation, is capitalism, is what we were taught to believe in, and that I pay for the slave labor that creates my clothes and shoes alike. And within this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that every single thing that I have paid for and that I have used, contains a form of abuse, of blood and death and this is no exaggeration, since we just have to investigate the lives of the millions working in factories and sweatshops, producing the most clothes in an astounding record of time– and we are so clever to buy that to an irrational price – as all prices are – wrap it up with nice paper  and gift it as a demon-stration of love and appreciation – thus

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see how easy it is to justify the abuse of what creates our ‘ownerships’ just because of having paid for it, which makes us all equally responsible for any unfair labor that has been used as the production of our ‘goods’ and services that we simply take for granted, unaware of the lives of those in the positions of extracting, manufacturing, producing and distributing these goods and services, that are the actual ones that do all the labor but instead, we buy brands, we buy names, we buy prices and as such, enslave each other to become the very fuel to a system of abuse, by simply neglecting how everything that we buy and consume was created.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to neglect our living-beingness as human beings wherein we just accepted ourselves to seek for a reason and purpose to live and in this, diverting our attention to anything and everyone else but life in itself as who we are, and this is a grave mistake that we have all co-created, and we have to all face with, as that is currently our equality: having to go through equal consequence so that we learn from first hand what we have done and not done onto ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to exist in such a self interest toward myself and the world wherein I continually looked for ‘myself’ outside of myself and believing life was about a meaning – and in this, become oblivious to everything and everyone that was working in a continuous manner in order to sustain the world-system we are living in now, wherein only a few humans are able to have the amount of time to ‘ponder’ about reality while missing out the real-problems and real-physical struggle on Earth.

 

When and as I see myself hitting the ‘low’ and ‘depressed’ state about how humanity exists at the moment – I stop and I breathe as many times as necessary to ensure I am back HERE on Earth and not going into an experience about the world – and realize one thing: me being/ becoming depressed about the current state of humanity and life on Earth makes no difference or stands as No Solution to what I see and realize must be done and live d in this reality – thus in essence, emotions and feelings are but a distraction to what is Really going on here as physical processes and equations that are being blatantly disregarded.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rejoice letting another know about the actuality of the problems in this world as a means to open up their eyes, without realizing that there is no need to convince another from realizing/ doing something that will support each other as equals – self realization implies sharing without wanting others to do the same, but living as the example of what it is to genuinely care and that’s where real responsibility resides in.

 

I commit myself to bring myself back here to Earth as I share myself and anything that I’ve become ware of that is leading to any of the current consequences in our Reality and instead share how the basic point is to stop participating in any diversion from self-application if one is absolutely decided to face the consequences and be willing to get back to honor ourselves and each other through facing the consequence.

 

I commit myself to stop making an experience of consequence and also when and as I communicate about it, as I realize there is quite a journey to walk here as consequence in order to become aware of what we’ve become in its totality and that wanting to prevent this from happening or altering anyone’s awareness about it in an incisive manner can only lead to further creation of consequence. Thus I stand as a stable and equanimous person that continues to realize the extent in which we have neglected ourselves, all life that we have used and abused to construct our ‘ideal lifestyles,’ growing consequence without an awareness of how everything we thought we could just escape from ever having to face again is always here as manifested consequence, as our result of any parasitical relationship of abuse.

 

There are things we cannot just assume are not ‘here’ any longer, and as such, I follow through with the  path we all must walk to realize ourselves and our responsibility to every single word and action we decide in every moment that we are here and also show how money becomes a comfortable veil to not face what others as ourselves are facing every single day, which cannot go ‘unnoticed’ any longer.

This is not evil, this is not bad, this is being real and self-honest: there is no way out of this that won’t involve having to give up the self that can continue avoiding facing consequence and responsibility for what we’ve become. Thus, I take a breath and continue walking as there is certainly nothing else to do and live in this world but the solution to all that which we have tried many times to escape from.

 

We might not be able to stop what has been set in motion in unawareness and gone to a full extent of consequence to depletion, death and permanent damage on Earth, but we can begin living lives wherein we realize that prevention is the best cure, and as such seeing how there is a lot we have missed in our reality due to having honored the mind and not the physical, and that the time has come to face what we’ve abused in the name of self interest.

 

To be continued

 

 

 

 

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