641. Early Stages of Pregnancy: Doubts, Fears, Worries and Getting to Own the Decision

 

 This is a long overdue blog, but there are a couple of reasons why I wanted to write and share about it once that there were certain points ‘in place’ for me to openly do it. This is about the most important decision I’ve made and am still actually learning to walk in my life and to get to a point of owning it, which will mean stepping into a new phase in my life, stepping into ‘the unknown,’ into what throughout most of my life had defined as ‘the most fearful thing’ I ever could think of doing – or the ‘biggest fear’ that I could name whenever anyone asked me ‘what is it the think that you fear the most?’ and one that I thought myself to be quite certain of when it came to ‘saying no’ to it – and yes, I even may declare myself as a ‘culprit’ for having also at times attempted to discourage people from doing, since I also went through a phase where I considered overpopulation was ‘the problem’ in our world – and not the nature of who we are and so ourselves being the solution, not the ‘quantity’ – but, I’ve learned my lessons and have given myself the chance to evolve from such limited mindset that was part of some brainwashing I went through when being a ‘concerned teenager.’ And yes, I truly thought that it wasn’t going to be something I’d have to go through in life.

Well, as always, Life says ‘here I come’ and change knocks at your door and….! I am now four months pregnant (!) and the idea of bringing a child into this world with the best person I’ve known and have had as a partner is an idea that is now sitting quite well within me and I am embracing more and more as days go by, where there is actual joy and gratefulness emerging as we continue to establish the foundation of who we are individually, what we would like to provide to our child and the benefits that we can create for a new person coming into this world, for ourselves and better so, for society and the world at large… but! This wasn’t my immediate experience and it’s been a process to get to that point – I’d say it still is – so this will be about sharing the experiences I’ve been having throughout these past months.

First of all, I didn’t want to share how fearful I was and still not having walked through those fears in a way that could be supportive for others to read and possibly learn from. So, this will be a detailed explanation of what I went through when finding out I was pregnant and being open about the fears that emerged, the uncertainties, the comparisons, the prejudices that yes perhaps I didn’t even dare to confront within myself, but that I deeply experienced and had to eventually work through within myself with the support of others to as well to it, which otherwise would have probably made this a lot tougher.

I found out in May 22^nd that I was pregnant with a simple pregnancy test. I had my suspicions since I’m quite regular with my period and there was already like a 3 to 4 day delay, and there were other unusual ‘symptoms’ that I wouldn’t get in my regular period. This is not my first ‘am I pregnant?’ type of ‘scare’, but this time I was doubled-troubled about it, I feared it more than other times if it turned out that it could possibly be a ‘yes.’ Somehow in the back of my head I kept the idea of ‘possibly’ perhaps, maybe, somehow having a child later on, but interestingly enough somewhere last year I had made a very ‘clear’ decision to not go into the ideas of having a child – at least for now, or so I thought! Lol. Even though being honest, the thought did emerge based on the relationship I have with my partner, but then I simply went into a more ‘rational’ view that included certain fears about finances and being able to provide for a child up to the time they are  capable of supporting themselves. Yep, since then the money concern emerged as well.

But I have to backtrack a little bit because the whole context of myself throughout this year is quite interesting to look at in what I now see almost as a ‘preparation’ of what would come almost in the middle of the year. I decidedly started the year with what I have defined now as a healing and self-creation process, which involved walking the decision to support myself to work on some points that I had just been dragging around and that could ‘possibly’ be linked to causing some health issues – which were actually intermittently happening throughout the past year – and I decided to look for alternative ways to support myself instead of only resorting to taking medicine and hoping that I ‘eradicate’ it that way. In a ‘shout out’ to get support,  I took the offer from my fellow life-processer walker and sharp-eyed friend Leila to have a Life Alignment session with her for support, and I would say that such session at the end of December of last year  turned my life around for good.

 Leila’s support and session assisted me tremendously to become aware of certain patterns I was still defining as ‘having to carry them’ to finally come to understand, forgive and let go of them, which were most likely the emotional issues causing the consequences I was facing at a physical level. Through opening up all the points that came up in that session and taking the route of the suggested alternative support, I was able to open myself up to a healing phase and at the same time, to really step into a point of self-creation that I had kept ‘on hold’ because of, in a way, still ‘torturing’ myself with the past and not really forgiving myself completely.

So, from January on after that session with her, I visited a regular doctor to find out what I had – which yes had to do something with the reproductive system – and decided to go to alternative therapies to assist with the healing and body balancing process, while knowing that there were very clear points I had to work with and process emotionally as well, which I did as well and it definitely turned my life and inner presence around as well. I started taking Qi Gong classes which I definitely enjoyed, as well as getting to hear these other two alternative medicine specialists on ‘my case,’ which assisted me a lot as well to have that understanding of how I created my own symptoms and recurrent illness – and in a way, reinforce the perspectives that I had been ignoring: being able to self-forgive and let go. Yep, at times we can be stubborn in believing we have to ‘hold on’ to something as some kind of ‘pay for the sins’ – not recommended at all, folks.

I started focusing on what I wanted to create and do this year. I started working on developing a workshop related to developing self-introspection and self-creation through the creation of art. Here my friend and terrific Life Coach Joe Kou assisted me personally with grounding these plans and projects, along with my workshop partner to ground and refine this project we had and getting to define what we wanted to actually give to do and provide to others. I was quite excited about the whole process and I’m still grateful for everything that I got to learn and – most importantly – get to define for myself in terms of ‘who I am’ in my ever ‘doubtful’ type of relationship with art. The project may be on hold, but I’m quite certain that all of these talks with Joe also assisted me to tap more into my personal potential and getting back in touch with my creative capacity again, lol, perhaps the creative capacity emerged just in a ‘slightly’ different way, lol.

I consider that all of these initiatives to support myself and the changes that I embarked myself on at an internal and external level – like setting myself into a point of self-creation and ‘breathing life’ into myself again, gaining a new perspective on life – contributed to ‘opening the gates’ to something else that I had not necessarily planned or expected, lol. Interestingly enough all the alternative support I had was also focused on getting my reproductive organs and general hormonal system balanced out. I also did some changes in my diet, but I still had some deficiencies like feeling sometimes very weak and so on. Interestingly enough, I actually didn’t want my ‘next period’ to come, because of the last massive blood loss I have had, and what would I know? That such period never came… Lol! Well my body is wise after all.

So back to the point of finding out ‘the news’ and how this time around I felt very different to go and get that pregnancy test, I was actually fearful, I even got a bit pissed on the way back from the pharmacy which is a pattern I ‘thought’ I had already ‘nipped in the bud’. I recognize that I was simply quite fearful. Well, I came home, did the test and hoped that the faint line that appeared was simply a mistake, that it wouldn’t mean a POSITIVE result. See, I actually thought I was having some delays because my body had been quite wonky in the past weeks prior to my ‘period date,’ or I thought that all the homeopathy and acupuncture sessions would be destabilizing my period a bit, but it wasn’t like that. I asked Leila about it and well yep, she let me know that even if the line is faint… it is a YES. Lol, I had not read the pregnancy test instructions properly either it seems, since I later on read that was a common thing to happen even if it was ‘very faint.’

I called my partner right after I found out. I was quite shocked and didn’t know what to do, it’s almost as if I just wanted to ‘go back in time’ and avoid it all. We decided to talk it out at night when he came home. And his response – as always – is that of taking absolute responsibility and supporting me in whichever I decided. Yep, this was tougher in a way because he said he would be ok with whatever I decided – to have the baby or not – because of me being the one that would actually go through the whole physical process of birthing the baby, and yes understanding the role of the mother in it all. He stood firm in his disposition for whatever I decided, because he simply wanted me to be ok with it.

But, as he explained this, I saw that I just didn’t have it in me to say ‘no’ to this – and his calm and assertiveness to receive the news definitely gave me an example of how one doesn’t have to ‘freak out’ as one may expect.  This is where the notion suddenly hit me: a new LIFE is taking place now in your body as we speak and this is not a matter of chance. This is a result of me also having a relationship with my partner and acknowledging that, ultimately, there’s always that chance of getting pregnant even if there’s protection involved. And at the same time, I knew that it was only what I in the moment called ‘the worst of me’ that would say ‘no’ to it, which were a bunch of fears, self-definitions, comparisons, self-doubt and general uncertainty that would prevent me from saying ‘YES, let’s do it’. In other words, I knew that only ‘the worst’ part of me – or the weakest one – would say ‘No,’ because everything else can be worked out, like in terms of finances which was one of my biggest ‘fears’ around the idea of having a baby, but that has also changed as time has progressed and we’ve both opened up this point and I am very much learning from what I could say is more like my ‘partner’s process’ which has everything to do with entrepreneurship and financial education – which actually also touches on very similar principles that I’ve walked on for these past 11 years.  Money hasn’t been my ‘forte’ but I am learning a lot from how my partner currently approaches it, therefore I am learning to not only see fears and lack in my relationship with money, but rather learning HOW we can make things work and genuinely decide what is of real value, which we both agree on is not a ‘ton of material things’ in that sense, but rather seeing the actual wealth there is in the education that we can provide for the child as well.

Before this moment condensed into a reality, I actually have had a dream on April 16^th where I would realize I was pregnant, and it felt extremely real, or dare I say ‘frightfully real.’ I would think something like ‘Oh oh! I’m pregnant, this is actually happening’ and I would kind of move to making a decision about it and I would think to myself: ‘Well, I guess it’s time to grow up now’ And my presence and nature would be that of embracing it, of actually accepting it and being ok with it. Only afterwards did some financial fears emerged about ‘how I would go on about it’, which I guess is one of the most common fears that emerge whenever you start planning to have a child or are already pregnant. I woke up from that dream and said  to my partner ‘I had a nightmare! And proceeded to share what the dream was about, Lol! But I let it go and didn’t make much of it.

So once that we were discussing about the pregnancy that night of the day we found out, I remembered that dream and how I had afterwards assessed that it had been ‘the best part of me’ that had stood up in the dream to be ok with it, accept it and embrace this maturity or new phase and ‘letting go of the childish me’ so to speak, which I know is also quite the problem in my generation, which involves not really wanting to take responsibility for ourselves, and ‘worse off’ not for any other either.  I also knew that in a way I was holding on to this belief that I had always said to everyone when asked about wanting or having kids and always saying ‘No, no, no… Me? No! that’s not for me, I won’t have kids. That’s the most important decision in life and the most important job in the world, and I respect parents a lot, they are really brave, hat’s off, but that’s just… not for me.’ But deeply inside knowing this was in fact cowardice and so in a way I realized that the time had come for me to face one of those ‘greatest fears,’ which I opened up about – to a certain extent – to my partner.

There was a sense of responsibility as well but also of understanding how I just was very scared of assuming now my decision and responsibility. I can definitely say that such discussion was assuring for me from the perspective that he assisted me to dispel some of the most immediate fears around money, about ‘not being capable’ of doing this and rather seeing the possibilities and how this kind of challenges would actually support us to grow more and to give ourselves another purpose to our lives together and in our personal development. I realized later on that, as he said, this was our chance to actually create some change in the world, which it certainly is. I’m glad as well how this is something I came to understand some years ago where I went from seeing kids as ‘a burden to the planet’ to more like the opportunity actually change the current state of affairs in humanity over the generations, and what a better way and opportunity to do so than with being able to raise a child.

At that moment I decided to say ‘Yes, let’s do it’ but it wasn’t a FULL decision made with the wholeness of my being. I still had the fears, the uncertainties, the fear of losing the baby in those first 3 months of gestation, the fear of going through problems that would not enable the proper development of the child, fearing that my body wasn’t ‘fit for it’ yet, etc. These fears plagued my head for weeks – and yes I accepted and allowed it. I knew that I had said YES and went on with it, but a part of me was simply fearing that ‘it would not happen,’ that my body was not ‘at its best’ to be carrying a baby. I also feared letting go of the plans I had recently created, I feared letting go of the ‘ME’ that I’ve known and the idea of just having to ‘do what I please’. Yep in essence, I did go through a mourning process in a way of having ‘my plans’ changed and then at the same time not having anything certain yet – nothing is, still – but in my mind at least it is now ‘safer’ to say that I am pregnant because of the amount of time that has transpired and because I’ve seen the baby developing really well in the womb J Who knows, yes anything can happen, but then I also walked another point that I will describe later on in terms of not being defined by the outcome, but walking a decision regardless of it.

So for me in general, finding out that I was pregnant, that WE are going to be parents and bring a human being into this world wasn’t immediately met with enthusiasm, happiness,  joy and jubilee – as I had perceived ‘I should have done’ but why? Because of my fears, mostly of the pregnancy actually ‘not sticking,’ of my body not being ‘fit’ enough to develop another life within me, not having ‘what it takes’ to bring a child into this world. These were mostly the fears that became an incessant type of doubt and uncertainty throughout most of the first weeks. And the fears then sparked up more and with some pains I had that demanded me to be ‘taking it easy’ most of the time and minimize my activity – like barely going out for 3 months – and then on top of that the nausea started kicking in… I just felt like in a limbo. That’s all I could say to my partner for some weeks ‘I feel like in a limbo’ of not being able to truly say ‘this is certain, we are having a baby’ or not, and yes there is that ‘weight’ over me to in a way ‘make it happen,’ but fortunately enough my partner was always supportive and considerate and not really concerned if it couldn’t get to form and ‘happen’ as expected. But he also taught me to stop expecting ‘the worst’ all the time, which I am still learning and frankly once again getting to step out of, since it’s almost as if my old-age pessimism kicked back in.

The nausea so far has been the worst of the pregnancy process up to now, I mean I don’t want to discourage anyone with saying this, but I do want to be as realistic as possible because this is my experience and I really felt like a zombie, like constantly ill for weeks on.  I also felt ‘odd’ for not being so ‘happy’ about the news at first  – even though when sharing the news to those closest to me, it felt like there was a sense of joy in it, but that I couldn’t just for now ‘take it for granted,’ so I would just go back to the limbo-phase of smiling but deep inside me, not really being certain of what I was ‘getting myself into’ nor if it would physically ‘work out, or that I had ‘what it takes’ to pull it off.  

I must say that abortion (miscarriage) had not been in my mindset or radar before, this I mostly got as a ‘real scare’ because of knowing of a situation from someone I know that went through it and that kind of placed it in my awareness and, yes, what can I say? I moved the least I could because, it would hurt and be painful to just go walking to the store close-by. I felt like crippled because of not having my ‘me time’ every day to just go out and about with my long walks and generally longed for ‘feeling fine’, but I also realized this was part of a process and decision I had agreed to go through and that I had to actually care about another’s life developing within me, one that me and my partner had planted as a little seed. And because yes a 20 minute walk ‘at my usual pace’ had detonated a pain that actually got me in pain and therefore in crying and fearing that I would be placing this baby’s life at risk, I decided to keep myself resting and that was definitely a tough time where even writing became very repetitive and somber with describing only the worst of the experiences, and found it difficult to see any ‘light at the end of the tunnel.’ I knew that this was taking a toll on me, so I reached out for support again.

Once again, it was through Leila’s support with her Life Alignment session that assisted me to actually open up this ‘limbo-mindset’ and get to face it, even though I had seen the fears moving in my mind and me demonstrating it and acting them out in what became, I would say,’ the pessimist me’ that was ‘waiting’ just for the time to pass so that I could have ‘some certainty’ of actually being pregnant, actually having a baby or not. More like desiring to have some ‘control’ over the idea of being pregnant or not.  Through the session I was able to face and open up the fears about ‘it not really happening’ and I actually allowed myself to realize I was in fact fearing not having the baby, and that I was at the same time in a way mourning or letting go of ‘the old me,’ and I got to see the ‘big’ point that I’ve seen comes up in my life when having to take care of another being: selfishness. And that whole idea of ‘me, my time, my life, only doing what I want and what I like’ and having that self-definition printed on me like my creed, a very limiting one to be honest. I actually cried out when realizing through the session how I was in fact preventing me from embracing, being happy and joyful about the pregnancy because of not wanting to create ‘a bond’ with someone that I could ‘lose’ or see not ‘happening’ if something went awry.

I’ve also taken this as if Life was also throwing this ball at me kind of like saying ‘So you speak of supporting life, and life in equality, and wanting the best for all eh? But you don’t want to actually have a child and see what it takes to actually care for another life as yourself?’ Well, this is my characterization of it lol, but I saw my own principles and words ‘staring back at me’ and this also led me to see that it was – again – only the worst of me that could be fearing stepping into a new phase in my life. Leila assisted me to realize there was a mourning process of letting go as well of ‘the me and my life that I’ve known up to now’ but most importantly, I was able to admit to myself that I actually wanted to have the child, I just feared not having it and having to go through the loss and the pain that goes with it.

In a way, I was creating a detachment  as a defense-mechanism to the whole idea of being pregnant because then my logic was ‘If it doesn’t ‘stick then I would not feel ‘attached’ or already ‘hyped’ with the idea and having let everyone know about the news.’ It became something like a ‘safe spot’ to be at, to not be so defined by the idea of having a child, because I still ‘could not be certain.’ Well, it then became obvious how then how my decision to say ‘Yes, let’s do it’ contained this whole point of uncertainty and fears in the background – and selfishness as well, making it about ‘how I feel’ instead of actually rooting and being up for giving it my all and being my best at it for something that I am deciding to do along with my partner.  So this also took some time for me to assimilate and actually open up to the new and actual change in life.

What opened up in that session also enabled me to discuss these points with my partner, and he was able to understand what I meant when I would say ‘I still can’t believe we are going to have a child’ – which he would understand as some kind of pleasant surprise statement, but to me it was a real ‘I can’t still be certain of it’, I still can’t ‘wrap my head around it,’ and also because of the early stages of it. So that was yet another very supportive talk we had, where we got to open up one of my most ‘ingrained’ traits, which is yes, pessimism and almost expecting the worst of all things to happen at any moment. So I got to open up about these and other fears, which is also where I got to see how my own mindset was generating this sense of uncertainty and fear, and how I wasn’t allowing myself to fully LIVE the decision of having a baby and instead, being almost like ‘leaving it at the hands of life to decide what would be or not be.’ And here it’s very relevant to make a distinction as well because sure, it could have or could still happen that it doesn’t work out, and that then would be something for me to get to understand, learn from, embrace and move on with. But I no longer fear having to go through it as I did at the beginning.

The main point here is how I was creating this whole fear and uncertainty because of not realizing that I could decide to be OK with either/or scenario as well. I was defining myself already by the idea that ‘losing the baby’ would be a bad, negative, painful process and that would ‘define me’ somehow – so that’s how I then would ‘prevent’ going through all such ‘negative things’ by remaining in that limbo = not being truly standing in and as my decision to have the child, because then logic said “If ‘something happens’ = It would not be something that I was already ‘attached’ to, or future projecting about.” Well, this was quite revealing to me in how I was in fact standing only in fears and prejudices. I had to stop. My partner was awesome in discussing this with me, he is in fact the most supportive partner I’ve ever had and has been an exemplar pillar of support for me since day one, and he was able to assist me to face these points and to realize that I didn’t have to be defined by either outcome, that either way: Life goes on and we will be fine at the end of it all.

An interesting thing though to realize is that at that stage and having walked our first months with the pregnancy together, I realized that based on how enthusiastic he was, how he pushed himself to from the get-go get himself ‘moving’ to do things he needs to do to have sufficient time and financial support for when the baby arrives, and how every single day he would wake up with a smile in his face and saying ‘we’re going to have a baby!’ that even if this didn’t ‘happen,’ I would still go through the whole thing again to try it again. Lol! I can’t believe my words, but it is so. Based on the values that we share, the ‘who we are’ that we can share with a new being definitely becomes an attractive idea that overrides everything else that I also feared like the actual pregnancy and birthing process, the incessant crying, the growing pains, the discomforts when they are little babies etc.… that goes to a secondary stage when placing ‘what we both have to offer’ to a child, not to mention that he loves children and is quite a natural with them, treating them the same way as I do, not from an ‘I’m an adult and you are a child’ type of starting point, but one of equals and talking to them as the fully formed beings they are. And so that does fill my heart with joy in a way, to work together now on someone else based on seeing how well we get along and how supportive and loving we are to each other, as in really assisting ourselves to be the best that we can as individuals.

What has emerged within me therefore is an actual gratefulness of this opportunity to bring a child into this world and I basically turned my stance around from indecision, fears, what ifs, future worst-case scenario creations to rather being able to trust myself in this, to know that we can together handle this because we got the foundation that’s most important – from my perspective – a solid, supportive and loving relationship where we each have demonstrated each other to support ourselves to live the best that we can be, and that we haven’t ever ‘pushed us down’ to become the worst of us, but quite the contrary, and this has been a daily living thing, which has shown tremendous results in both of our lives.  

I am not fearful or ashamed to say that this time around, I wasn’t the ‘strong one’ with this whole new path and decision in my life, I wasn’t the one that would ‘help the other’- as I was used to – to come to terms with something. I was definitely the one that was supported by my partner who stood solid and quite optimistic about the whole thing. It was definitely another point of ego for me to let go of, because I had always believed that in my relationships, I’d always be the one to ‘help the other out,’ and I am actually glad and grateful to be with someone by your side that is there to support you when one is crumbling in fears and in a general low. So, it is also safe for me to say that as much as the decision was placed ‘on my plate,’ I knew that this decision would not only impact me of course, that this was part of my partner’s life process and a point that was opening up for both of us in the path we decided to walk together J And I couldn’t be happier about it now that I’ve come to assimilate it, embrace it and root for it as the days go by. 

But, who knows if I haven’t had a supportive partner or someone that was as pessimist as I was, or as fearful or only focusing on ‘financial problems’ or seeing it as a ‘load’ or doubting themselves in not being able to ‘pull it off.’ I guess that things would have been a bit different, but this is also a general point to become aware of when being in a relationship and not having a super secure method to avoid pregnancy – if not desiring to have any children –  to be aware of the possibilities of getting pregnant and making sure that one is in a supportive relationship, that one can actually step into that possibility of having a child together and know exactly where each other stands in it. Otherwise, this is also a problem in humanity where people just ‘get together’ because they ‘like each other’ or have some ‘fun together,’ but have no idea of where each one stands in the ‘hypothetical’ yet very possible scenario of having children which it surely is a life changing situation.

In my case, that is something I considered, I observed and assessed and ‘tested the waters’ on with my partner to know where he stood in such potential situation. It would have been quite different if ending up pregnant with someone that perhaps really dislikes children or wants to just have a partnership relationship forever. So even if this wasn’t planned, I sure knew where my partner stood about it and now I embrace that unconditional support that he has become for me in my life and receive it in gratefulness, instead of perhaps going into regret for not having stood up and being ‘my best’ from the get go – this is part of the things I probably had to learn and experience firsthand to then be able to root or ground myself in this life changing decision.

There are so many other things that have opened up in relation to walking now into a bit of a more ‘certain’ phase of the pregnancy, like looking at how it will change our lives, the ‘letting go’ of ‘me/my-time’ for some years, but at the same time actually being glad about it because it is in fact an opportunity to test myself in a whole new terrain, to learn more about myself, to learn to work in a team with my partner, to learn to live that unconditional love and care towards another being, and be that which I would want every newborn child in this world to have: a supportive environment, a supportive family, a pair of individuals that are preparing themselves to do the best they can to bring up a life in this world that can continue our individual paths to become better human beings in all that we do. It is fascinating how to me this is what excites me the most and knowing that this is a child that will contain both of our lives and paths to in a way, re-birth ourselves into the best, to assist in the process of possibly getting to correct the things that we both know is the worst of us and to be able to in essence create – perhaps – a better version of ourselves and of our parents in this forthcoming phase of our lives.

So in essence, now that the nausea has subsided, now that I’ve seen how the baby is doing, there’s more of a sense of certainty around it. And even with the process of planning, placing ourselves in the position of ‘preparing’ to the next year when baby arrives, is opening up so many cool discussions between us where I get to be more and more certain and actually quite happy and grateful to be carrying a life that contains my partner’s life as well, because he is quite an extraordinary human being that has demonstrated, in a rather short period of time, to be able to turn his life around in ways that few people I know have been able to. That assists me in my own trust and confidence to walk into this new phase in life.

It’s also very relevant for women to have that kind of support in a partner considering that I have seen how there are emotional upheavals, there are changes one goes through in the body and that having a partner that doesn’t react to my ‘emotional upheavals’– but understands it’s part of the process –  that gives comforting words and caresses, that doesn’t judge my body as it goes through its changes, that helps me to see that the discomforts and so on is part of the process for something better to come is something that I am truly grateful and learning from, and absolutely relevant and a great example as well for me to see how it is possible to face even the ‘difficult parts’ with a better sight on things to come. So if you are a male reading this, it’s best to also do your part on getting to understand what women go through in pregnancy, which is what my partner has done in his spare time, even to the point where he has now gotten to explain certain things to me, because he’s made the decision to be there all the way to support me and wants to be, what he calls, a ‘second mother’ lol, and not be the typical father role that is portrayed in pregnancy books-  or at least the older ones that I got from my sisters J

So to me, as important as it is to be taking physical care of myself, having proper nutrition – after a few of the rather not so supportive ‘cravings’ I gave into in the first weeks – gaining more confidence in going for walks, stepping out of general fears and doubts of ‘being able to do this,’ and more like embracing the being that is growing in me it is also important to have that equal stance from the other in the relationship. So as with anything, I guess for anyone reading this my suggestion is to yes prepare the body and one’s mind as much, but to also fully, fully disclose and talk things out with your partner first and know ‘where he stands’ in it all, because it does require great courage to embrace this in the best way possible. Sure we all got our points to walk, but that’s where having that support in one another comes in to face such experiences. Well, I say this, but I bet my partner would simply say that any challenge in life is an opportunity to motivate himself more, a challenge that makes him just push himself and see the benefits that it creates, which become a well-rounded purpose in life and that to me is quite an example I am learning from and grateful to be walking along this new path with.

To me this whole process has taught me how I don’t have to play strong all the time, or still fall into the belief that ‘I am the one that should save or assist others,’ but rather recognize my own weaknesses and be ok with receiving support from those that are around me and to ask for specific support when needed, otherwise, who knows where I would have been without the support I got from my partner, my immediate family, Leila, Joe and the people that directly worked on myself and my body with the alternative therapies, which I am also grateful for having the opportunity to have.

I realized it is also OK to not be initially happy, ecstatic, joyful and jumping up and down about the idea of being pregnant. I understand that I don’t have to compare myself to how other women – specifically – have faced their pregnancy or motherhood process, and I kind of knew that I set myself up to this kind of uncertainty and fears because of me having fed the fears of ‘having a baby’ or ‘becoming a parent’ for most of my life, it was ‘THE’ most feared point in my existence, and I held it as a very ingrained belief. So this is another learning point to become aware of what we say ‘never to’ and realize that Life may have a different plan for us and that we may actually end up facing such things we ‘fear the most’ and that it is actually not something to fear, but to rather take on as a challenge, an opportunity for growth, for change and to embrace the opportunities and paths that it will entail.  And that it is ok to not be all smiles about it, but take it as a very physical process of growth and development that it is and eventually as the very real responsibility and opportunity to challenge myself that it will represent with all that entails to be a parent, and be definitely fully UP for it – or at least knowing that I can trust myself to work on the bits I may go facing and being uncertain of, or the mistakes I may make. It’s all part of life.

I wake up every day aware of being pregnant and that is quite something to see growing in my body, but more so enjoying as well how this has opened up so many potentials in our lives in how we can best support a new child coming into this world, how to best prepare us, how to be also OK with making mistakes and facing the unexpected too, to not try and have everything ‘under control’ or attempt to ‘know as much as I can’ either. I am also allowing myself to simply take it easy with it, focusing on our physical wellbeing and continuing building the bond with my partner through it with the expectation of a third person coming into our home J He says we will be having so much fun, and I’m so glad he sees it that way because it is contagious how he can talk about what I would’ve defined as ‘tough things to go through ahead’ and he’d see it as something funny to go through, something challenging that can push one to the limits of seeing how much one can stand through. Lol, anyways it has assisted me a lot to have a different outlook on the idea of becoming a mother, becoming parents and yes, why not, also leaving that ‘selfish-me’ phase behind, which sure might be challenging, but hey, this is what Life has now placed on my plate, so that means I’m ready, I can take it, let’s do it J

Thanks for reading if you got up to here! I’m open to any feedback, questions or comments – or any topic that may require going into some depth.

For Spanish speakers, I’ve been sharing my weekly process within the pregnancy and reflecting back on how things apply to anyone else in their lives in my Encausarte Podcast from Episode #23 on.

Recommended series! Parenting on Eqafe.com

 

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527. Deception: Where does it Really Start?

The other day I read and participated on an interesting thread at the Desteni Forum about the theory of the Earth being flat and it caught my attention because I have been part of the people that have investigated some of it in order to spend some time pondering whether we are truly living in the shape of the Earth we have believed it to be thus far… however what I brought myself to realize is how ultimately irrelevant the subject is, but more so than that how we are already perceiving reality in a very limited view and the very fact that we cannot even be aware of how every single cell and organ of our body functions all the time and how every single thought or experience that we allow ourselves to have impacts our body. Therefore how can be so ‘sure’ of anything in this reality based on what science or ‘counter-scientists’ can explain based on an apparent ‘authority’ that they have adjudicated to themselves to define what’s ‘real’ and ‘what’s not’ – yet all of it being knowledge coming from a limited self-awareness as life, which is what we currently are all living as human beings.

What was pointed out in the whole discussion is that deception is something that exists from the beginning of our existence and is definitely not limited to a ‘conspiracy theory’ type of thing about the Earth’s shape only, but it is existent from the earliest moment of our existence when we separated ourselves from being a ‘one’ single being, ‘a wholeness’ and in such movement of ‘dividing’ ourselves, we forgot that who we are seeing as ‘other beings’ were in fact ourselves as well and from that moment of deception or making ourselves Believe that ‘what we see is separate from us,’ the rest of separation, lies, division, deception emerged up to where we are existing now as humanity in this world.

One of the paths that I have walked in the past years is that of trying to understand ‘everything’ from various perspectives and got myself into the rabbit hole of much of the information that runs around easily on YouTube and in general on the internet nowadays, which seems endless and a lot of it being really useless information that we cannot apply for ourselves in our lives for anything supportive or substantial like improving our personal lives or ways of being – here speaking about the usually dubbed ‘conspiracy theories.’ And unfortunately we are not taught common sense in schools to be able to discern what information is useful for our lives, that is worthwhile giving our attention to for the sake of bettering life in this world – but instead we are taught to discern through ‘logic’ and rest of thinking-processes that revolve around using only the mind and limited senses to then create conclusions about realities ‘out there’ that we cannot possibly go and measure for ourselves.

A point to question is how one bases such ‘trust’ on referencing others saying the same thing or looking at cited material coming from so-called ‘authorities’ and in all of that, it’s kind of laughable how we’ve come to create our own ‘trustworthy’ sources and types of information that are invariably coming from the same source: the human mind. And for anyone that is aware of what that implies, it does mean it comes from a limited source with limited awareness that is trying to understand the world ‘out there’ while not even being aware of our very basic self-functioning at a physical and mind level, let alone how we as beings interact with the whole of this reality.

What I am getting at here is that searching for ‘truths’ or information to apparently have more awareness in this world or that we are getting to know ‘facts’ that no one else has had access to before, or seeking to ‘no longer be deceived by elites or ‘world controllers’ etc. is in fact part of the distraction that exists in order to keep a lot of individuals that could be actually ‘breaking through’ their own mind and changing who they are in their personal lives with all of this amount of information that is designed to entertain and divert people’s attention from sorting out their very own lives.

Of course TV and general ‘news’ would not work to people that like to ‘question more’ so that’s how a mechanism had to be developed to entertain people discovering further apparent ‘truths’ that are practically useless for the most part, and so keep everyone believing they are getting ‘somewhere’ or ‘becoming more intelligent’ or ‘more aware’ just by reading about certain information. Really, it does take a willingness to let go of hope and illusions in order to really question what is it that we are investing our time and breath of life on. It takes self-honesty and that’s unfortunately a really difficult thing it seems for all of us to do, because it is about stopping following that which makes us feel ‘good’ or ‘more knowledgeable’ or ‘more in control’ even if it’s through information that we have no direct awareness of or way to reference it with our very limited senses anyways.

This is of course not done by ‘others’ so that we can ‘blame them’ for ‘enslaving us’ to this kind of information.  It is in fact self-created from our very conscious desire of getting to have access to something apparently ‘greater than us’ awaiting to be revealed, that there will be ‘life in other planets’ or that there are great amounts of money about to be delivered by the hands of a few elites to the whole world, or that there are people from the elites being captured and so the whole world is about to be freed!’ All of this kind of information is abundant in the internet and what I’ve realized is that it’s there for a purpose: to entertain and get people hooked on a belief that there is something ‘awaiting’ for us or that we have ‘been deceived’ by other beings that ‘want to control us’ and that there’s information being ‘suppressed’ that could in fact ‘change our lives’ and whatnot… ehm.. nope.

Isn’t it interesting that all of such so called ‘undisclosed information’ is precisely directed to people that could have directed their time, focus, attention and awareness to actually break through their own mind-control and instead, easily fall-allow (follow) information presented as ‘occult knowledge’ that somehow – apparently – will suddenly change the way that we live in this world, or that will open up possibilities for us to go and live somewhere else in the solar system and be happily forever after in abundance!…

Bottom line is that this question isn’t really about whether this information is true or not, but who we are within ourselves to be following all of that information in the ‘Hope’ of something better coming our way, something, somehow having this planet as an external heaven aside from earth that we can go to once that we’ve devastated, scavenged and trashed this Earth completely.

What does it say about ourselves when we are diligently living the word ‘dedication’ to focus on knowledge and information that is an attempt to ‘find a cure’, ‘find a habitable planet,’ ‘find a savior’ or ‘expecting great changes from the world system soon!’ and be left waiting for years and years while remaining completely inactive to even dare to actively work on dare even question one’s own very thinking processes that have led to the creation of the Problems in the first place, that we are trying to ‘sort out’ with all kinds of magical solutions and ‘occult knowledge’ that we believe has been ‘suppressed’ to ‘save humanity…’

The real question is who are we within our starting point of seeking all kinds of knowledge, cures, solutions ‘out there’ for the problems that we have created by our own thoughts, with our own hands and lives throughout generations? Who are we in perceiving that ‘we are being deceived’ because of not having the full disclosure of the shape of the Earth or ‘life in other planets’ I mean… how relevant is it, really, for who we are on a daily basis in our lives here on Earth?

 

The whole starting point of this ‘search’ and focus on this kind of information reveals ‘who we are’ in such dedication isn’t it? That I leave to each one to reveal to themselves –  however it does take a decision within oneself to stop indulging in all kinds of information from the starting point of finding ‘a solution’ out there, somewhere, separate from ourselves yet suddenly being ‘uncovered’ for us to just step into it and live happily ever after. Really?

I’ve been there and done that when it comes to diving into all kinds of information that I believed had some relevance to my life, only to now confirm that it doesn’t, you are only aware of many levels of deception and that’s it, lol, still it’s all a bunch of lies that becomes pointless to find ‘truths’ in, from my perspective. It can be never ending to get to ‘know it all’ when it comes to this kind of information out there and the reality is that it’s worked really, really well for the people that actually want to maintain a certain form of control over many individuals by grasping people’s attention with this kind of ‘hidden information’ and keeping everyone hoping for some saving-solution to just be delivered on Earth. Of course no responsibility whatsoever is existent in this equation

The reality is that whatever makes it ‘out there’ and becomes popular, what do you know? It’s not really threatening the system, it’s there for a reason and a lot of people fall for it believing they are getting ‘somewhere’ in completing the puzzle that has been deliberately created to scatter ‘bits of truth’ mixed with a whole lot of myths and voilà, there you have an endless pit of ‘truths’ for people to investigate and cross-reference with, again, a limited view, from a limited tool to understand reality, which is our mind as it currently exists in our physical bodies.

What I had to get honest with myself and realize in terms of being ‘hooked’ on all of this information is that I wasn’t really living ‘my life’ and focusing on myself, my own self-awareness of my own thoughts, feelings, emotions, my own self-creation, I was only focused on watching or rather spending time binging on videos non-stop believing I was getting some kind of ‘greater than life’ awareness on something that I thought at the time could lead somewhere, could be relevant in any way – only to then have to realize the obvious: I was using all of that information as a distraction from myself, a way to hide from focusing on who I was creating myself in my life, what I was in fact going to be doing, living, expanding on and developing for myself as a being, as well as continuing to investigate myself, my mind in order to change all of the things that I’ve known have been compromising myself, including this particular time, attention and breaths of life given to endless hours  of information that truly can be resumed in one sentence: there’s deception Everywhere! And the sources is… Ourselves.

So, the last point here is then, why are we then focusing on trying to find ‘truths’ out there believing that something or someone is ‘suppressing’ such information because it holds a ‘key’ to people’s liberation or betterment or ‘infinite happiness’ forevermore? It only indicates one thing about ourselves: we are very dedicated, very quick to be diligent in absorbing all kinds of information – including the Desteni material – but are we actually willing to apply it, test it out for ourselves, live it on a daily basis and see how it actually works for the intended purpose of actual living-change?

There’s one proof of where one can be in one’s process: if one is still very concerned with seeking ‘truths out there’ about alien life, ‘newly discovered planets’ or waiting for some so-called ‘elite families’ to suddenly release some gazillion dollars to each person in this world…. It only indicates the kind of person we are being within following the carrot on the stick and falling for it completely. It says a lot about ourselves when our starting point to get informed is in fact coming from wanting to ‘find a cure’, ‘be saved,’ be economically relieved in one go,’ or ‘seek punishment’ to those that we believe ‘are the problem’ in this world – like the elites, governments and whatnot. Come on, we really have to grow up from this conspiracy-theory phase and I include myself in this because I do check out information by some people that explain a lot of ‘unknown facts’ about the very ‘culture’ that we have been living in, that I grew up on and shaped a lot of my personality, which I’ve written a blog about in order to not get hooked on an ‘intellectual arrogance’ instead of investigating all things and keep what’s useful and best.

The outcome of that was being honest with me and realizing ‘how can I be so amazed by this information considering that I have been aware of self-deception since the beginning of existence, so how can I assume that there has been anything ‘genuine’ in this world to begin with!? Not a single thought is a ‘genuine’ expression of ourselves, yet we follow them, we believe them, we don’t even know how it manifests in our heads but we are so quick to believe it and trust it.

The same we do of course to anything out there that we’ve created as ‘an authority’ of sorts in our heads – and that’s what’s completely questionable about ourselves, where we go into blindly following and believing and making conclusions based on these limited resources obtained through a limited perception of another human being in their own minds, yet we make those truths as ‘completely real’ because ‘many people are saying the same, therefore it must be real, it must be true!’

I definitely suggest to question that conclusion, completely, and rather take of knowledge that which you can prove, live, test, try out, ‘repeat and rinse’ for yourself in your everyday living without any further tools other than yourself in your own body, your mind, your awareness and your daily responsibilities and self-creation process, that’s our truth, that’s what’s here for us to develop our own science of change and actually apply everything that we get to hear from any source, any person, any ‘media outlet’ or ‘authority’ that we have designated some sort of omni-power in our minds.

That’s how deception starts and ends within ourselves, because the moment that we make knowledge something applicable, it ceases to be only knowledge and information, it becomes a practical realization for our lives, our bodies, our doings in our everyday living. Ultimately it’s all about self-responsibility and we are the only ones that can define this for ourselves: do we invest our time, breath of life and awareness in investigating so-called ‘truths’ that are apparently a million light years away or do we first begin to understand the very basic ‘traits’ and personalities and reactions and emotions and habits and memories that we are existing as and keeping ourselves in fact separate from life because of not being willing to start focusing on investigating ourselves, our own minds, our own lives!?

I would finally suggest to anyone that can be investigating things ‘out there’ and diving into the rabbit hole of endless information, to ask yourself if you’ve invested the same amount of time, attention, focus and dedication to investigate yourself, your life, how your memories have an impact on you, what makes you react, why you react, to what do you react, what are you fearing to do in your life, what is stopping you from doing what is most supportive for your life? And the list could go on and on… all that is required is a will to focus ‘back to self’ instead of diverting our attention into gazillion of ‘truths’ out there, up to each one, I stand with the basics of course: self-honesty, self-awareness, self-responsibility and practical application of what I become aware of on a daily basis.

Ultimately always can ask yourself how this information can assist you in taking responsibility for yourself and your life, ask yourself if what you are getting to know about has any actual impact on you to become a person of integrity, to develop self-honesty and common sense?

‘The truth will set you free’ it is said, but no one indicated that this ‘truth’ wasn’t necessarily to be sought ‘out there,’ but instead getting to see and know the truth within ourselves, who we really are and what we can in fact do to change our lives to honor life and take responsibility of our thoughts, words and deeds as our creations in this world – it’s all here, as ourselves, we decide.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Suggested series to assist yourself in clarifying the starting point of a lot of ‘truth seeking’:

•  Heart of Matter Series

• Untold Story of Heaven and Earth

 

 

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397. Come and Stop Worrying about Money & Children with us

Commentary on the Documentary ‘Come and Worry With Us’ featuring the band ‘Thee Silver Mt. Zion’

 

 

Many times I used to say that ‘Music had saved my life,’ and I never questioned that much about the actual lives that musicians have. I probably was ‘happy’ to imagine that they made a good amount of money to be living well after having so many fans and so many shows but today I got to realize that that’s not the case and in a way it does give me yet another reason to implement a new way of living where no one should ever have to suffer, be existing in constant worry, fear and anxiety that comes from living in plain survival-mode when trying to ‘make it’ in this world in an honest manner, which is impossible in a system that is forged with the idea of success as the ultimate goal and neglecting how it currently is – most of the times – achieved only through the effective abuse and control imposed upon others, which means having to cheat, lie, deceive, be dishonest and selfish to be able to make it ‘that far’ without questioning why it is that not everyone can achieve such ‘high standards’ in the society? Why is there no real equal opportunity? why is this ‘successful living’ rather sold to us as this magnanimous lifestyle that is actually unsustainable if we all had the same ability to live in such a lavish modality – this means: it’s not meant to be part of what real life is meant to be in fact.

The documentary Come Worry With Us is an example of how one of my favorite bands actually live like in terms of ‘lifestyle’ and financial woes with the amount of money they earn, which is certainly a lot less than what I would have expected which my assumption of them being a ‘famous band’ therefore not ever having to worry about paying their bills – and here this should apply to Everyone – but this is specifically to debunk the ideas we also create around ‘the rich and the famous’ where not all ‘famous’ people really make ‘a lot of money’ as one could imagine.

Specifically here Godspeed You! Black Emperor and its offshoot Thee Silver Mount Zion are bands that I could have identified as the perfect soundtrack for everything that I could only probably only paint and try to ‘picture’ in frames: a desolate decadent world that is going down the drain, seeing nothing else but death and destruction and the perfect soundtrack for ‘the end of times,’ as well as being what can be defined as a ‘political band’ when it comes to denouncing warfare and the general deception in the political realm at the moment.  But something changed in the life of the common member of both bands Efrim Menuck: he’s got a child now and so he realized that he had to ‘stop his own cynicism’ about life/the world and himself as now there is a person he’s brought into this world that should grow up to live in a better world than the one he is currently living in. I fully agree with this, and even if I don’t have children, every time I would see pregnant women or know of children being born I would create this inner fear almost sadness for them coming to this world that we are abusing and depleting faster than it could ever ‘replenish’ itself, while doing nothing to stop the ongoing destructive trend.

 

 

How many times do we say: ‘we require creating a better future for our kids’? It is saddening to see every single day news and articles of the kind of atrocities that are created toward children just because parents can’t afford taking good care of them – from dumping them on the garbage, abandoning them, giving them to adoption or having to make them work too and support with paying the basic needs at home. If there’s something I could worry about this life is precisely whether the little ones will have clean water to drink, clean air to breathe, whether they will be able to run around the streets and riding bikes and going out to playgrounds… or if they are going to be genuinely supported to their utmost potential at schools, whether their parents will be stable enough to raise them – huge point of concern – whether they are going to be having healthier ways of entertaining themselves, healthier eating habits – which are taught at home/ and through culture – whether they can in fact stop copying the fears, the mentality of the parents, whether they can in any way escape the generational sins that we’ve created in absolute selfishness because we believed that ‘it wasn’t going to be us facing the consequences,’ well, here we are, look around you and within you.

 

I would certainly not want anyone to suffer in this world, yet it is all I could always notice around me, or maybe it’s because it is existent as me and in everyone else: abuse, ignorance to the reality of how we create this world based on our absence of care, of presence to direct ourselves in our lives and relate to each other in a supportive manner.

In my case, all I could ever paint was suffering and I didn’t even know why because I had a good life compared to many that really have no support in this world. I do remember a phase in my life when I was around 9-10 years old where my father had a big problem at work, someone bought a lot of merchandise from him and ran away with it using a bad check – and we were almost broke and hearing about the fact that our house, that patrimony that my father was so proud about as ‘our property’ could be lost – the sheer thought of that frightened me a lot at night, the worry, sadness and frustration from seeing my father so depressed, so down, so worried and so angry as that was the only way he could exert his inner frustration about the legal situation and never ever getting that money back. This affected us all at home and I endured what it was to conform with having the basics and learned how to not to ask for more than what I truly required.

I remember at times thinking that if I didn’t exist any longer they could save the money from my food, my healthcare, my school which was a great effort since it was a good private school, I knew they were doing the effort to secure my future, to give me the best – and I know that every single parent wants the best for their children – but most nowadays cannot afford it at all, no matter how self-willed they have: there is simply no structural support to make those at the bottom of the pyramid scheme to rise. This is structural violence and children are meant to somehow accept that they are born into poverty, that mom and dad have to work 12 hours a day considering the commuting times and so children are raised by daycare employees, by internet and television, by mass-norms at school that are designed to also make them obedient and complacent workers and get to be just like mom and dad: workaholics by necessity, not by choice – or else, there is no guaranteed survival – this is the current violence we are inherently accepting in our everyday living, threatening each other’s life – we have to also recognize we’ve done this to ourselves by leaving the system in the hands of a few.

 

Nowadays I see the direct consequences where I live of how poverty affects families in a very pervasive manner. To me this place is ‘temporary,’ but for many it is the place and environment they are born into, it is the people they will marry and have their children with and also die in until the last days knowing to do nothing else but to work, drink every weekend, have ‘parties’ and pretend that life is fine while going back every Monday to earn the bread with the sweat of their brow the rest of the week, hoping for something or someone like a president to finally change their lives.

The frustration that parents create at work which is based on the threat of losing their job/not making enough money becomes the constant experience that parents then in turn become toward their children, toward their partners and so toward the world: a survivalist mentality that cannot be stable, here, present, enjoying life because of always being tensed, worried and anxious about getting the next paycheck to pay all the bills.

 

Come Worry With Us (2013)

 

We are all currently required to break our illusions behind the usual question of ‘who would you like to be when you grow up?’ and then growing up and realizing that was just a dream, a fantasy, an ideal promoted to us to keep us completely separated from acknowledging the reality: this current world-system is designed to keep dreams on heavy rotation, to keep fueling the hope, the illusions, the wishing and desiring for the most hedonist lifestyle possible, a promised reality that never seems to just manifest into reality and it won’t for sure – nor do I personally consider it should ever, unless we actually work on creating such stability for all and make it sustainable for every other living being in this planet: environment, animals, humans, everyone.

Efrim explains in the documentary how he is part of the last generation that was promised a great future and from there on, we all got the opposite. It’s true, the first year in literature school we got told we were not there to ‘be writers’ and be creative, but to learn the hard-knocks of the science of analyzing literature and how we would barely make a buck with that – in art school we got told the most debasing facts about the poverty-lifestyle one usually goes through when trying to ‘make a living as an artist’ grounding us on how we could not just expect to just ‘be famous’ and earn millions like Hirst overnight. It might seem like a cruel thing to do crushing young adults’ dreams, however it is also the stark nature of the reality we have created for each other.

From there I started questioning a lot about myself, my decision to be an artist – would I make it? What would I have to do to be as ‘big’ as x artist that I admired at the time? And I bet this goes on in the mind of every other person that is taught to aim at the highest peak in a world where the peak is already occupied and not available for everyone else.

 

Does it make sense to live this way? To know we have all of this great potential as human beings and the way we could actually change the entire nature of ourselves and our relationships with one another if we were able to provide us the guaranteed right to live in dignity, to have money to live well if you’d like to dedicate yourself to a non-lucrative profession or arts which is also not a secured ‘job position’ but is dependent on several subjectivities like being liked, being ‘good’ at the eyes of others, being able to relate well to people to make business; getting to be known and published if you are a musician or a writer, or being part of a gallery and not even that guarantees good wages any longer.

 

There is also the point of having children and how that becomes a new primary responsibility for adults where one has to choose between being a parent or being a professional, especially if one is a woman. As an artist, for example, there’s not been such great possibilities to have a breathable life in a world where no more records are being sold, where art is sold only to a few elites and that is a minority of course, where movies and music are being downloaded for free, where people cannot afford to go watch a play, concert or sometimes even go to the movies – instead, all that is promoted is more greed and illusions of power in national TV/ media at home which is still the one point that seems to define what people conceive ‘life’ to be as this idea of ‘fame and fortune’, hence the belief that every person in showbiz should do as well as people on TV – but they don’t, at least not the ones that try and make honest business.

 

 

Some of the artists I enjoy and admire in a way have been able to ‘stay true’ to themselves in a world-system where arts are also another industry and the same abusive policies apply as everywhere else. In this case, music is something that inspired me to begin questioning the system. I began painting while listening to Radiohead’s OK Computer on repeat mode and all their discography became a way to also understand the underlying suffering that I could perceive in everything and everyone but somehow wasn’t that evident to me until 11 years ago when I first began painting. Now it’s very clear to me how this change has to be implemented and I have a clarity to it, to the point where I’ve stopped painting the death and destruction on this world and instead started to investigate, educate myself and begin actively working to promote and establish solutions that not only will benefit artists of course, but that will be a living guarantee for every person that is currently unable to fend for themselves and as such have are unable to develop themselves to become the person they know they all can be. We cannot also continue having honest and principled individuals to ‘adjust’ and ‘align’ to the current skewed mentality of a dog-eat-dog world where worry, fear, stress and paranoia have become everyone’s daily chronic sickness, this is the abuse we are dictating upon each other and it makes no sense at all.

 

This is not the world I want to live in, this is not The Good Life that our parents were once able to have – and some of you younger than me reading this not that for sure – but we have to question why every year that goes by things get worse, wages don’t go up while inflation keeps going up and the majority of the wealth is stacked in the hands of the minority: this is a suicidal machine we are operating here, and we have to stop it before we all sink together in it.

 

I want the children of this world to be able to have parents that can be satisfied with what they do with their lives, that can have sufficient time at home or simply available to be with them without the stress, without the fears, without the depression, without the constant every day nagging thought of what if there is no money tomorrow that I can get today to keep feeding my family? This is the most stressful situation anyone can face: being broke, being homeless, being with exorbitant debts that are usually now even transferred from parents onto children to ensure that one can ‘own’ something in this world, yet this world as the Earth itself didn’t come with such instructions of ‘how to use it’: we created them but so we also live the problem, so we have to understand it and be able to create and propose solutions, which is what we should all focus on if we really want to keep having our joys in life, such as music for example in my case.

 

So, the least I can do to honor myself and those human beings that also see the necessity for change, that collaborate with creating awareness in their own ways such as with art and music and genuinely consider that we can all work together and make things work for everyone, is to dedicate myself and my life to promote the consideration and necessity that we have toward each other, the good life that I would like to give to those that have nurtured me either physically or as a living being in my ability to be inspired and influenced by people that were able to tell me through their words, their musical expression about everything that was wrong in this world, so that I could grow up to take the staff and be that person that they can also get inspiration from: becoming an individual that can promote and present solutions, because we’re all just too fed up to hear about the same problems and complains instead of realizing that through understanding the problem, we can and become aware of how we can make things work for everyone.

And for artists who I see are quite a lot within the realm of social-change and activism, thank you for your inspiration as well because sometimes one can get ‘lost’ in a sea of carelessness and hopelessness about being able to genuinely do any meaningful change in this world, but through our very own words, through the way we live and create, how we interact with others we can become the point of change that many others can then refer to as the proof of how we can direct our lives to a best for all outcome, which also determines how we live and interact with one another.

This principle of giving to others as I would like to receive begins within us, so let’s give the best we would want for ourselves to each other and through doing that, learning how to honor and truly appreciate our lives, instead of living as enemies in a chronic state of war.

 

Time to ‘be the change we want to see in this world’ for sure, but this will also only be fully possible when people are no longer strapped to their working chairs and fearing not having money the next day, therefore support the Living Income Guaranteed, to provide a guaranteed access to living needs when having no means to get an income, get higher wages in your current job/occupation and never again be ashamed of having to take this support as it is and will be our sheer right to life, to stop the paranoia, the fear and the self-abuse that comes when living in survival mode – we can do much better than this.

We are yet to discover who we all can be and become once that we step outside of the current divide and conquered set-up world-system we have (negligibly) created. It’s about time we join our creative efforts upon that which will ensure each other’s ability to create without worrying about money again, which tampers our creative potential.

 

Happiness does not exist yet, we have to construct it.

 

 

 

Suggested read for an in-depth review of the documentary:

• COME WORRY WITH US: THE ANXIETIES OF PARENTING AND EARNING A LIVING WITH THEE SILVER MOUNT ZION ORCHESTRA

 

• Read the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal to find out more on How it can be financed
• Read the Equal Life Foundation’s Bill of Rights: Our right to life can only be assured with money, and our Bill of Rights has a direct way to be financed with the provision of a Living Income.
• Watch our Equal Life’s Fundamental Human Rights presentation and share it around!
• Watch our weekly Live Google Hangouts on Living Income Guaranteed
• Living Income Guaranteed and Raising Children
• Parents Need a Living Income Now 

387. The Love/Hate Relationship with Art

Here we go…

I require to open up – again – the relationship with art. I’ve noticed that I created some sort of past bad relationship experience with it, similar to the ones that I’ve had with people throughout my life wherein there were things unsaid, situations undirected and just cutting it up from one day to another without further communication. I realize I’ve done this with art creation and the general regret I’ve had in terms of the decision I took some 8 years ago to go to art school and actually drop out from my first choice which was linguistics and which would have probably been a lot more supportive for me to have as a degree than arts, and so there goes regret as well for the choices I made in the delusion of ‘I want to express myself ’ and limit that definition to only ‘arts’ and specifically visual arts. To begin with, a disclaimer here is to understand that I am walking/writing out my frame of mind and that whichever judgment I place here in relation to arts/artists/creative processes in art is what I’ve conjured up throughout time and self-reflection about my decisions in life and in no way does this imply an actual ‘bashing’ as all of these judgments, ideas, perceptions, conceptions will be self-forgiven.

 

The Illusion in this world is my responsibility

It’s been a bit over 10 years when I first begun painting and the experience within that was that of enjoyment when being able to pull out everything that I would usually write in creating these images/paintings that I then started defining as ‘who I am’ and within that, already beginning to define and limit my future according to wanting to be an artist, to be able to write or paint or play music or anything that had to do with what I assumed would enable me to express myself and at the same time, be able to instigate some sort of change in the world.

I’ve mostly walked throughout the years the ‘emotional’ aspect to art and my decisions to be an artist in order to not have to ‘be in the system’ and not have to face it, and not have to deal with a lot of people, being able to stand in the ‘background’ so to speak, like someone with ‘special needs’ or ‘special mind’ and ‘special interests’ hidden in a room behind some canvass or else, yet at the same time having the works themselves get to as many people as possible…. So that’s the type of idea of a nice, lavish lifestyle I was pursuing some 8 years ago, and I was quite on the ‘good track’ getting some initial points of recognition that also led me to see the ‘fame’ for what it was and really question myself if that is what I really wanted: to have some pictures in some room in another place in this world seen by other people and be glorified by how nice they are? Well, I decided it was not the way to do what I was already veering myself to do, which is wanting to ‘Change the world’ and thus using art as the way to change the world…. separation here, yes, in trying to use this one thing to ‘change the world’ without really realizing that nothing/no one can ‘change the world’ in itself, but ourselves.

 

So that’s where we begin.

The idea of Art as an instrument to “Change the World.”

The point is I tried to make My definition of Art fit with what would enable me to use it to demonstrate that it is possible to change the world. However I realized that no matter how many images I make, how many pictures I take, how many great ideas I would have I was entirely mostly having an imaginative outflow of how this could operate without ever really landing it into any serious/real project. I always kept everything at a low-fi level because right after the first year in Art school, I discovered Desteni and my interests veered dramatically – hence the ‘shutting down’ of any pursue to further my career to make a name of myself etc. However little did I know that as I’ve seen throughout time, many artists or creative people are the ones that have been able to conceive new ways of how to develop a society that is better for everyone. Somehow people related to art are at the head of certain movements like the proposition for a Basic Income by Enno Schmidt who is an artist. The example I’ve been able to see with a more ‘landed’ discourse on social change is Joseph Beuys that dared to propose an economic, political and social change through the realization that such change begins with self, using one’s thoughts and actions as the tools with which to sculpt ourselves and so becoming the change that we want to see in this world, by understanding the interdependent relationships we have toward one another and our necessity to establish a genuine economy that reflects the true inputs of the real capital – human work/intellect or applied intellect and the use of resources to provide a dignified living to everyone in a particular society/environment- which means everyone should be equally involved in this.

“Social Sculpture, a concept and medium the artist devised and later theorized in “I am Searching for Field Character” (1973), which articulates his belief in the creative capacity of every in-dividual to shape society through participation in cultural, political, and economic life. With his proclamation that “EVERY HUMAN BEING IS AN ART-IST,” poised to join others in the construction of “A SOCIAL ORGANISM AS A WORK OF ART,” Beuys reprised the fervor and axiomatic language of manifestos written by avant-garde artists in the early twentieth century. This promulgation expanded what art could be by acknowledging the viewer’s ability to co-create meaning alongside the artist and, consequently, placed the production of art and knowledge within the scope of the viewer just as much as that of the artist.” – Joseph Beuys – Organization for Direct Democracy by Referendum

 

He went on as far as creating direct democratic referendums as part of his work of art and forming part of a political party, as well as founding a school that was aimed at providing the necessary platform for people to continue the work of social sculpture – which unfortunately I haven’t seen any further fruition from it. He also went on with economists and discussed the concept and idea/symbol of money and with that book ‘What is Money?’ realizing that the idea of social, political and economic change is not an entirely dissociated idea from an artist’s field of work. He also even funded an educational institution which is part of his legacy to continue understanding the multidisciplinary processes that education should involve.

It is so that having the ability to question more, to question reality, to analyze it in its complexity from the ‘eye of an artist’ can lead us all to become better social scientists,   questioning things that have become automated in our reality: money, politics, education, social structures, words and their definitions, mass media and its power to brainwash everyone… then I found people like Guy Debord and Marshall McLuhan who completed the narrative in relation to the world system as the reflection of ourselves, of our ‘revolutions’ as failed attempts to change something that first should be changed at an individual level – and this all made sense, I am grateful for having read these individuals to confirm what I was at the same time walking with/as part of Desteni as well as Foucault on his first chapter in Madness and Civilization about the Ship of the Fools or Stultifera Navis wherein every person that would be defined as ‘crazy/ mad/ eccentric’ would be ousted from society along with every other individual that would simply not be willing to conform to the norm or be defined as mentally insane. I could relate to all of this, however it was all still too defined within the ‘artistic realm’ and so what I did is that upon realizing that ‘art’ for now is ‘just another sector of society’ and almost another cult/religion in itself, I tried to dissociate myself from such tag just because I had judged it as pretentious and ‘special,’ because that is how I came to judge myself or who/what I was going to ‘become’ as an individual if I hadn’t actually stopped myself from upgrading and accumulating all of this definitions onto the ‘artistic persona’ I was aiming at becoming.

I’m also glad that I’ve done that because then the whole ‘specialness’ and ‘uniqueness’ idea of myself that I had about me and that I believed that I should be ‘recognized for’ in the world has been mostly vanished. But after that, there’s  a ‘void’  left in terms of the relationship to art/creative expression as I mostly simply stopped it altogether and wanted to have– apparently – nothing to do with it, which involved me having finished also school in Arts where most of the time I was already knowing that I wasn’t going to become an ‘artist’ in the most traditional sense of the word. I learned about many points wherein artists have participated in ‘revolutionary movements’ but certainly it is no different to how any artist at the moment goes out and paints murals about Snowden, Manning and Assange to glorify them as heroes and shouts at the front of some parliamentary building demanding change… which is absolutely futile.

 

 

So the disillusionment with arts have to do with My Own expectations about it. How I thought that this was ‘the way’ to change the world and of course I didn’t follow through with ‘becoming an artist’ in the traditional sense which I then perceived as myself already ‘opting out’ of it all and seeing the sheer idea of dedicating myself to ‘create art’ as utterly selfish, without realizing how much I had desired ‘that’ to be my reality before. I’ve also been recently sharing about these points with people, explaining how I’m not proud of the decisions I made earlier on in my life and how I would not recommend anyone to study arts. I do however not say ‘don’t study arts’ but simply place my own expectations, my own experience, my decision to do something else and how such studies were a nice platform but not real tools to do what I am doing now. So when I find ‘artists’ defined as such, there’s an attempt to me to see if they also see the futility that I see in art as well – well this happened with one specific person in one specific moment.

A Spell to Ward off the Darkness is the title of a documentary/film that is mostly existential in nature and more like an ‘art film’ than documentary – even though I agree with Ben Russell, one of the directors, on how an objective documentary doesn’t really exist as there’s always a ‘frame’ that is defined by the one filming/directing, so from that perspective yes it’s not really ‘objective.’ However I did notice that this movie was entirely aimed at creating an emotional experience about it, with majestic landscapes, very little dialogue and loud black metal music at the end. I had the opportunity to ask a question to Ben after the screening and when I realized that my theory of how and why Black Metal emerged ( lol ) was nowhere near their intentions within this movie, and he veered off into something else I saw myself judging the individual as ‘typical artist’ that responds with quite a lot of rhetorical rubbish before getting to answer the question. It didn’t end up there, I wrote him back an email essentially asking him whether he considered art was meant to be a hammer with which to shape the world, to prove that we can change it. And then I got quite a bold and rather supportive reply from him which made me realize that I was being an ego myself trying to impose onto other artists/film makers My idea of what art should be, and how if their creations were merely ‘emotional’ then they were useless to what I’ve defined ‘the purpose’ of art.

I realize that after this brief exchange with him where I had certainly ‘demanded’ some answers from him about his intent on his film, he essentially told me that maybe this wasn’t a text/film for me, and that left it very clear how I was trying to make such film fit my standards of what art should be and be used for, instead of it being a creative process in itself.  I also see and realize that I’ve become a ‘victim’ of my own judgments, my own definitions and so I’ve generated a rigidity about what art was supposed to be, what art didn’t ‘fulfill’ within me and thus justify the reasons why I got to see art as entirely useless and self-centered activity. These are all judgments of course that should be seen for what they are, my own creation in order to become my own ‘word – redefiner’ – (see previous post on Rumsfeld) – in order to make of my decision to not further any artistic endeavors as the ‘right thing to do’ and so justify it with now ‘bashing’ artistic views that are not the same as ‘my own’ somehow so as to make my decision sound right and be righteous about my decision. This is not only the desire to be right about this, but also imposing the same mind-frames with which we have created religions and beliefs in the past, and we’re definitely here to stop such knowledge and information rigidity.

 

Also, the point here is not to go into the usual ‘extremes’ I would tend to go into when quitting/stopping/halting something wherein the entire love-hate relationship is generated. And this is quite the perfect example of how we create ‘hate’ – and even if in my case I wasn’t emotionally ‘hating’ art –  when our initial expectations about something/someone are not met and so, we become the epitome of ‘not wanting to know anything about’ that which we had previously set a high standard upon. This implies also the pattern of ‘blaming’ it, blaming apparently ‘art’ for not fulfilling or satisfying my initial intentions, without realizing that it was me that wanted to first make of art my ‘way out’ of ‘the system’ or a way to evade it, and when realizing I really can’t do that, then I simply believed that I had to ‘let go’ of it overall and completely –  without realizing that this is no different to just running away from a relationship that ‘didn’t work out’ without first taking the time to understand Why it didn’t work out or how and that means that through understanding the problem, we can also create solutions.

My overall attitude to this all, however, was within the mentality of not wanting to create anything but still be interested in looking art, admiring paintings or other artists and kind of playing the game of I like it but I shouldn’t like it – I mean, it is quite an unnecessary game that I create in my mind just because I had previously given too much value onto ‘art’ and what it ‘meant to me’ and how my entire life was supposed to be ‘intertwined’ around art, and how the moment I started dissociating myself from it it meant like a literal relationship breakup, when it should Not be like that at all. I mean if I had criticized this types of relationships between individuals, how hadn’t I seen that I’ve been living the exact same pattern with my relationship to ‘art’ and within that every other person that I related myself to from the art-vein of my life-experience? It doesn’t make sense as that implies I resist ‘it’/them which implies I hold a dear relationship of separation. So this is a till here no further.

 

I have to then point out the practicality of the decision here which I might have written out before but here it comes again so as to iron out any wrinkles on my side. It is no doubt that we all can create things, be expressive in any artistic endeavor and enjoy the process of creating it and sharing it with the world etc. – however at the moment in our world and reality, I do see it as rather impractical to be fully dedicated to the creation of art/plastic arts specifically when there’s so much to get done in this world in relation to education, to understanding who/what we are as human beings in our minds, how we direct in our lives, how we’ve created this world system and through understanding it all, be able to now establish and conduct solutions at an individual and collective level – and this is what I’ve decided to do. However I see that even if for me this is ‘clear’ there’s still a shadow of a doubt in relation to how people ask me ‘what am I doing’ and within this believing that I should be speaking about the many paintings or etchings or whatever I’ve created as a result of my work as ‘an artist’ in the formal/traditional sense of the word.  So I come upfront and explain how I’m not doing that and what I dedicate myself to, which sounds ‘interesting’ to most but I see that as long as I still hold on a judgment about this as me ‘having wasted my time in art school’ or ‘not developing myself as an artist’ then no matter who/what questions are asked, I’ll still experience that shadow of a doubt simply because I’ve judged it as a failed decision in my life.

 

The dictatorship of definitions

And this I might have shared before but it’s relevant to bring it up again as it’s been coming up many more times, as well as with what ‘I do’ with my life since I mostly work on the internet and there is currently no institutionalized career that defines what I do within this process at Desteni to be a point of support for myself and others in this world to walk this process which I do entirely see as vital and the most important thing to dedicate ourselves to in this world, which is a necessary step if we ever want everyone to genuinely enjoy an artistic lifestyle of creating/expressing in a world where hunger, wars, poverty, corruption, greed and a lousy economic system can be no more. All changes begin within self and so I have entirely decided to step aside from my artistic endeavors to dedicate myself to this process of Education, of being an example of this change myself, of supporting other people walking this process, of investigating economic and political solutions, of sharing/talking about these necessary changes at an individual and collective level, as that is how we can then all as human beings take self-responsibility for the world in shambles we have created – so that is what our artistry has been defined by, and I’m in no way proud of the world we’ve wrought here.

 

 

I have also said before how this process in itself is a self-creation process, hence I am my own work of art. However the ‘art’ definition here is obviously not the common one and that’s probably my inner dissonance which I am here to straighten up and redefine so that I stop separating myself from what I’ve defined as ‘artistic creation’ in the most traditional sense and what I ‘should’ be creating,  and rather integrate the principle of self-creation in whatever thought, word, deed as myself including the activities I’ve defined as merely ‘artistic’ such as ‘creative writing,’ shooting videos, painting pictures, taking pictures and lol even as I write this it is like oh shit that’s all just pointless drama-creations of me, who I was before. However that’s how I’ve limited them to be instead of seeing how visual art is quite a powerful way to provide/promote a message and a more digestible or ’friendly’ way to explain living principles through images, films to make them more palpable – whereas with just theory not everyone might be able to find it or understand it.

 

So, this is to see how it is about expanding myself to see the potential that exists in everything that is already here in this world. I would be my own worst enemy if I would define art or being an artist as something pointless or mere egotistic – it is nothing more and nothing less than a definition and judgment, instead of considering that as anything and every other job/profession in this world can be seen for what it is, for its potential, its redefinition to be self-supportive and to use it as a tool to provide ways to look at the world in a different manner and how to ‘eat it’ meaning how to live it, to understand it, to embrace it. That’s what I’ve also noticed is lacking within Art.

 

 

Art as a tool for change?

It’s relatively ‘easy’ to identify the patterns or the problems, and represent them – but driving the problem through to the solutions is mostly always missing. So that’s the kind of principles of self-creation that I’d like to contribute with in relation to art/art-theory if you want to call it that which is not limited to artists or people that study art, but to any human being that wants to become an instrument themselves, a tool with which to conduct and become the change that I realize is necessary in this world. I’ve identified the problems, so I’m working on the solutions and that is no physical ‘work of art’ but if I take on Sol Lewitt’s paragraphs of art in relation to making of the process itself, the structure, the plan of a work of art the ‘piece’ in itself or in other words “If the artist carries through his idea and makes it into visible form, then all the steps in the process are of importance. The idea itself, even if not made visual, is as much a work of art as any finished product. All intervening steps –scribbles, sketches, drawings, failed works, models, studies, thoughts, conversations– are of interest. Those that show the thought process of the artist are sometimes more interesting than the final product.”

 

…then my entire life is also then that: self-creation and supporting other people’s self-creative processes. Lol, am I theoretically justifying myself as an ‘artist’ here? Can be, but why not? I’ve read such blatant bullshit in art-theory that expanding art-theory to self-creation within principles of life in Equality, of Self-Responsibility, of Dignity, Integrity, producing solutions is quite the most meaningful thing we can do as human beings after centuries of emotional, material or conceptual glorification in art. Time for Life to be supported in everything that we do beginning at a thought level and that begins with ourselves, with becoming the master-pieces that I’ve seen and realized I sought to ‘create’ outside of myself or to use ‘art’ as some kind of alter-ego platform to glorify myself through the eyes of others. Self-honesty is required within art, understanding why one wants to create art and if the purpose, aim or objective and starting point of creation is actually aligned with a ‘higher purpose’ or goal which is then how I am seeing that art can be used to educate people, to wake people up, to provide new understandings and ways to understand, behave and co-exist  in the world – but that still has to be lived by and applied by each one of us first as first ‘test-runs’ in this process.

 

I realize there’s really ‘nothing’ that can ‘change you’ as that would then be the idea of this ‘magic red pill’ that you simply take it and understand everything about the Matrix and reality, the mind, who we are as our mind, the world-systems we’ve governed ourselves by, etc. So, in that sense what we can all do is become the example of what it is to walk such process, to provide and produce educational materials/writings/videos or whichever ‘tool’ we can use to support others in the inevitable process that is here as our process of realizing who we really are as life. Easily said, a whole other story to understand it as to what it in fact implies.

 

I’ll continue with walking Self-Forgiveness on specific points mentioned here, as well as the Self Corrective Statements to redirect my relationship formed with art/artistic creation and artists themselves so as to no longer limit myself and others through my own definitions of art or ‘what art should be’ and instead focus on my own process of self-creation and the endeavor I’ve taken on to be that point of support for others as well, a birthing-as-life supporter which is what I in fact really wanted to do since I can remember. I can use all tools available in this world for this purpose without limiting myself within it and that’s also the process of expansion here that is necessary for me to clarify and structure as well.

 

” Economics is not only a money making principle. It can be a way of production to fulfill the demands of people all over the world. Capital is human kind’s ability in work, not just money. Thus economics includes the creativity of people. Creativity equals Capital” – Joseph Beuys

 

 

Fuck it, Pollock has done it all  – 2005

 

Watch:

• Art and Politics – Living Income Guaranteed

• 2011 Art in Equality: Be your own Work of Art

 

To learn more about the mind and how we can unleash our creative powers by integrating new living principles, check out:

• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process

373. Meeting the Most Evil Man on Earth: Bernard Poolman

Today August 11th, 2013 Bernard Poolman Died and it’s quite the most shocking news you can get on what one would expect to be the most regular Sunday morning on Earth, it wasn’t and I agree with Cerise’s statement My Dad, The Devil: the world is more poor without him.

I must begin with saying that I have never known what to say when people die, and have only attended one single funeral that wasn’t even from a family member but my mother’s best friend and every time I got to know someone was dead I just could not know what to say or if I should ‘feel’ anything – well today I got a more direct experience of that for the first time. I am 26 years old and have never lost anyone as close to me until today yet I wipe the tears and continue to stand because I’ve gotten more than enough support from him to now be where I am standing today: writing the new contract I’ve acquired with life, walking the process to stand equal and one to the words lived by him as the walking living flesh he was, a man that has been hated by people that are willing to abuse and deny the responsibility we have in this world and  deny what is required to be done on Earth, but at the same time revered by all of us that are grateful for every single moment he would share what would be Here to be shared, in the moment – no preparation, no scripts, no nothing –  and to me it was more than an honor to be able to directly collaborate in being the hands that type out what he would so fluently speak out and yes, that will be no more – but the words are still here and now to be lived by each one of us since it is what we are here to be and become: stand equal to the living principle he embodied, that’s what he really was and continues to Be.

Continuing from:

• 369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report
• 370. Desteni Insider: God, Spirituality, the Afterlife
• 371. Desteni Insider: Fear, Fear, Fear
• 372. Desteni Insider: Mind Control and Brainwashing

 

When approaching the Desteni Forum for the first time, we got to see posts by ‘Eagle,’ an individual that would post all videos and continually respond to every single post that was made in such a riddled yet clear cut way that only through reading such words it was like opening my brain to a whole new window that I knew it was there, but somehow it was marvelously placed in such directive simple ways that I immediately knew I’d like to someday be able to directly see the points, which was also learned through all of the replies posted on the DesteniProductions Channels (2007-2011). Later on Eagle became Common Sense and as I begun to participate in the Private Forum in march 2008, I can say that I’ve been tremendously assisted by all the chats conducted by Bernard from that time wherein I’ve learned of the miles of words shared by him, Sunette/Dimensions and everyone else that have contributed with as an essential part of walking the Desteni Process: the support we got at the forum until our very last chat with Bernard this week is something that remains as one of the best dynamites a human being can ever detonate within an indoctrinated mind shaped in the image and likeness of a system of self-abuse, only to make space for genuine living foundations based on living principles

 

 

My initial admiration for Bernard as the words/principles he spoke of later on became a realization of how what he embodied as the Principled Living on Earth, wasn’t about something ‘superior’ or ‘special’ but actually simply living by the principles he spoke of, the actions he lived and the relationships he formed that are the genuine examples that we have as a testimony of a new way of living for humanity if we so want to continue living in this world. He said it best: “Self honesty is not nice or beautiful” and this became a key quote for me to continually remind myself that the sugar and spice type of life we had all been taught to seek and follow was always a Lie. I resonated with this very clearly which is why I resonated a lot to the words he spoke of, he was wording out what I had seen but merely allowed to ‘pass by’ and now being aware of this had a definitive cause and direction: to expose the lies, to learn how to Self Forgive and walk an individual process of Integrity, Self Respect, Honor and most importantly getting rid of all the bullshit that usually keeps us busy in the mind – I certainly learned to appreciate myself and stand as the reality of who I really am and conduct my potential. I didn’t have many conversations with him while at the farm other than very specific points to be discussed and somehow I see that I didn’t entirely open myself up back then as I was still tip-toeing around it all, not wanting my stuff to be exposed yet understanding that he could see it all.

“Self honesty is not nice or beautiful” – Bernard Poolman

Such a simple statement  yet absolutely supportive since we tend to create this idea that process is something great, marvelous, that will turn us into these good doers or even worse righteous gods  instantly  when it has nothing to o with that, it is genuinely being willing to actually get to know our demon-self, the truth of ourselves, the reality, the nitty-gritty details that we have all always concealed to learn how to ‘make-up’ with flowery words of love and light, and being ‘good’ and eliciting nice experiences upon other individuals without even realizing to what extent – by keeping these masks – we have continued to keep the current hypocrisy and false-value systems that in no way represent a living principle that life should be. Bernard was the living words of every aspect that required to be said in a world where Life is being sold and Equality is a demonized non-living word. He stood as the living principle of the resolution, the integrity, determination, clarity and discipline required to walk this process that we’ve embarked ourselves in within this Process, this  Journey to Life that involves the dismantling of this world at all levels, even beyond what our minds can conceive in order to establish a new living contract on Earth, a contract that stipulates through our written word the principles, the responsibility and practical steps to actually change the nature of who we have become as individuals in the mind – every single statement written and later on spoken in interviews by Bernard revealed to us a blueprint of the mess we are in as this world system and our individual reality, due to everything that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. He was always writing the raw truth about reality and opening up the necessary self-confrontation necessary to realize one single thing: we are all collectively responsible for everything we are, everything we’ve become in this world and this was done without ever inciting violence, vengeance or retaliation against ‘others,’ without going ‘against the system,’ without having to incite to revolt or do anything ‘extremist’ as some haters would love to claim he did, just to discredit a message that actually challenged their current self-interested ways of ‘living’ while neglecting abuse.  Instead Bernard did the absolute opposite, he pointed out something we had been missing all along: in this world we have no enemies other than ourselves, individually, we’ve been screwed by our written words that never have considered life in equality – and this clicked within me as the realization of how blindfolded I  had been to always take a stance of antagonism to portray myself as the ‘good person’ without even investigating if such ‘benevolence’ was in fact real – which it obviously wasn’t but only a self-interested mechanism to keep me on ‘good spirits’ while pointing out the flaws in the world.  We were pushed to question ourselves  if it was in fact the integrity I believed myself to have such as in ‘having nothing to do with the ‘evil’ in the world, without even seeing, realizing an understanding that the very thoughts, pictures, imaginations, intentions, secret desires and future projections stood as the very building blocks of our collective illusion – my empire of dirt was debunked and so I realized how worth-less was it to continue ‘holding on’ to something that had never been in fact an example of what living is all about.

 

So, Marlena was the girl that got to the farm in an intense desire to be just noticed right away, and he noticed it right away ‘You are still trying to get recognition’ and realized the point an committed myself to walk and learn what humbleness is about. I was insecure, hooked on harmful relationships, fearing, not wanting to ‘get out and be seen,’ hiding my face behind hair– literally – not wanting to make much noise in the internet, not wanting people to know about myself and my process, being regulated by a sense of ‘self preservation’ of ‘what I like, who I am’ and being fearing any form of conflict wherein I may lose the approval of people or any other ‘meaningful’ relationship I believed to have in this world – well all of these aspects have been slowly but surely debunked throughout time by living and applying the example that Bernard stood as along with every other person that begun applying the same tools within this process.

I got to know I was just asking for another confirmation of a ‘changed character’ a ‘bettered version of myself’ when that wasn’t in fact what this process is about, and within an attempt to keep things in a ‘nice way’ I realized I was only creating yet another mask to conceal myself within the Idea of ‘Change’ without genuinely understanding I was ‘playing it safe’ – until later.

‹Bernard› remember that all is self
thus–self awareness, self standing

make all the words with self you direct your self to be and live it and in the mind–you make up reasons why not to do what you will–but fear others like family

dare to live for real
and fix reality to be worthy of you and all other beings here  (2008)

 

Where is Bernard in that group pic? Lol! I was laughing so hard because he was the one taking the pic an making us all laugh (July 2009, Desteni Farm – South Africa)

 

I am grateful that I was able to visit the farm in 2009 and stay for a year and meet The Most Evil Man on Earth: Bernard Poolman. When I got at the farm he wasn’t home yet and when he arrived the first words were “You’re already Making Noise!” lol because I was just too happy to be finally there and speaking too much with everyone I had already developed relationships with at the forum and being overtly excited about it all, so I greeted with a big hug and from there on, I was in for the experience of my life, I could have never known how much one can learn from another individual and all the people at the farm walking this process as the support it means in order to understand what Living by Principle in fact means in physical reality.

I probably would have liked to be able to be more open toward him while I was there, I was still wanting to stand somehow ‘in the background’ and not stepping up so much forth as I considered others to be more capable than me and I was still holding onto quite a hierarchized way of thinking that is certainly non existent within me at the moment, since I learned how to plant the seed of self-stability, self-authority, self-will, self-respect, practicing the realization of the importance of the written word in a world consumed by contracts of evil as the reverse of life. I certainly got such resolve within myself while being there and remained cultivating it ever since.

 

At the farm I went through heaven and hell, but the hell must be understood as the necessary as-it-should-be realization that throughout my life I had disregarded essential principles in relation to the ‘who I am’ as ‘my time,’ ‘my preferences,’  ‘wanting to do only what I like/want/feel like doing’ and the consequences that I got to face was the realization of how little was I in fact considering other beings – specially animals in my case – in my reality, but only focusing on this ‘self-enhancement’ without a clear resolve and understanding of what Equality truly means in all practical levels, which lead me to realize coexistence and the equality with all life forms that I had disregarded so far as  a part of everything that is here as myself.

 

What I’ve learned from Bernard is a lot more than what I will express in these lines since every single  interaction with him – directly and indirectly –  lead me to strengthen, clarify and expand my understanding of this world, life, the visible and invisible yet verifiable in all ways in terms of observing the nature of this reality as our image and likeness, as the fuckup we all signed ourselves to with ink on the flesh as the self that we sold in the name of experience, of energy. Along with this I was able to develop the ability to recognize the actual abilities, skills and talents that I had doubted I could ever develop. I am grateful for the challenges I was able to take on while being at the farm. Lol, there’s this funny moment where one morning Bernard asked ‘Who wants to take a painting project!?’ and Marlen raises hand right away “Meeee!!” and yes oh boy was it not the kind of ‘painting’ I was expecting but an actual challenge of thick brush and rolling painting an entire building lol, which I managed to do with the help here and there of the other guys, man was I proud of myself and according to that immediate ability to respond and stick to my word of ‘getting it done’ in such an apparent simple task, I was able to realize to what extent I had limited myself by my own thoughts of distrust, of doubt and hesitation to speak – slowly but surely I saw that I had only feared being wrong, saying the ‘bad things,’ wanting to be directed/getting orders instead of actually realizing I could develop the common sense and techniques as I go, and this didn’t only apply to the work done at the farm which was already in itself a challenge but also in relation to the ability to commit oneself to do something and Actually Doing-it.  Such is the nature of the things I learned at the farm, learned Self Will and a determination I had absolutely no Idea I was able to bring forth and establish as myself, as my expression.

 

There’s No doubt that all the points I learned from Bernard and others’ interactions with him enabled me to realize that the actual power we have exists  in and as every single breath, and how we had to let go of fears to stand in order to be visible, to not be fearful or ashamed in any way of what I am doing and this is something continued to be walked every single day as the fear is no longer there, but the resolve is a constant renewal of existential vows, the reason why we’re doing this is because we have kept ourselves waiting for far too long for someone to ‘show us the way,’ and it is only now within this process and having Bernard’s example that a new living nature of humanity became a living possibility for all of us aware of and walking the Desteni process, which is nothing else than applying the tools that Bernard himself used to become what he became: the living word in flesh.

 

 

I’ve described several key moments through my journey in this entire MarlenLife blog of things I learned from him, including the R.I.P God blog wherein I realized the irrelevance of my questions about existence and reality that were based on the same constructs and ideas in separation of myself, detached from any real physical value on Earth.

I was at the Farm when we embarked ourselves in the course that is being now provided as an educational platform of self support for several people that have committed themselves to it: the Desteni I Process – back then the Structural Resonance Alignment (SRA)– and I was one of the first individuals to go through it and have the opportunity to buddy people, learning how to begin trusting my understanding and common sense and placing it into application. I remember also all the times we would have the infamous ‘Interviews from the Farm’ which were usually chats at the lounge are or the veranda with the entire group that was living there where we got some of the greatest lessons one could have ever gotten about the world system, heaven, Earth, the Afterlife, Process, The cure for our Curiosity –  it was like story time with real shocking and real supportive facts that are equally available till this day at the article section http://desteni.org/articles/interviews-from-the-farm   

I will probably always say how 2009-2010 was the greatest year of my life, and a small part of this is depicted in the following video Here as Life

The most supportive thing was when I was able to be called out for the patterns I was existing as and I am being forever thankful for the support Bernard gave me to see that which I had absolutely neglected and refused to see, up to the point where I  walked ‘the death of me’ and assisted myself to more and more grasp what must be done in this process and stand as a point of support for myself and everyone else. The thing is I wasn’t exactly told what to do which was also another point of great support – I took a decision to come back, finish school and continue with my process which has been walked with all the same support we got and continued standing and taking on the point I had resisted the most: the Equal Money System proposal and realized that it was a decision I had made to stand up for something that truly means equalizing the value of Life in this world – along with Bernard’s support we continued to walk all the matrixes of self deception to get back to the point where we have realized no solution on Earth will be possible unless we first focus on the Education of the Human Mind, and this is something I continuously confirmed through and with Bernard every single time which also strengthen the resolution to focus on what we are currently doing: supporting ourselves as we are supporting many others to get past the veils of the mind and be what I have committed myself to be: a Life-Birthing assistant as this is what I received not only from Bernard but Everyone else at Desteni, as the Desteni Group world wide, so we’ll continue to spam the world with common sense and self honesty.

 

 

I had few moments of being with him alone, and our conversations were always very directive lol which is cool in a way because that’s how I got to see that I didn’t have to ‘beat around the bush’ and go straight to the facts, get past the emotional bs and focus on the practical directions.  I must say that I had kept still a veil toward him until the past months where he became more than just a living example but also a buddy, a colleague, someone I could share and laugh with at the nonsense of the world and always bringing it back to a solution – all was clear and a constant confirmation of the common sense learned and developed through living and applying the example that he has provided us all with. I will miss that interaction, but again as the clarity that is here as I write these words, I realize that he exists As the Words we will continue to write, live and stand one and equal to, where “Bernard”ceases to exist as a name and memory only and becomes part of who we are as the words we live, standing as an example and living expression that we decided to take on from him and expand through, walking through the systems until we all realize our actual potential and live it out, because that’s what he was able to see within every single individual that had the decision to walk this process of self support. Yes never in my life had I lived with such unconditional beings at the farm and him being the example of what it is to support another the way we would like to be supported ourselves, not expecting anything in return other than the ability to stand on our own two feet, standing side by side as who he is. 

 

I had great laughs with him as well, I particularly enjoyed all the moments of laughter because he had this great sense of humor, lol everyone should have been able to listen to his characterization of the American accent or when he would approach beings at the gas station, the supermarket and ask them about god and money and what would they prefer to keep if they had the option – lol! But I also got to witness first hand the actual physical process he was going through, I witnessed the amount of pain he would endure on a daily basis due to the systems taken on by him as part of his process. I would become worried about it, I wanted to be a solution to ease his pain and he only said: keep breathing and that is already a cool thing for me – and so I will continue until the last one I give  myself. He explained to me how that was his point in process and how I would do the same in his shoes – I said Yes, and continue to confirm I stand within the resolution and self will I learned from him, a genuine example of what it is to stand by principle, doing all that he could, no matter what and never make a big fuzz about it, but learn how to breathe through it, within the understanding of what must be done here in this world.

 

 

 

I learned how to  stand up to my own self-abuse, to  slowly but surely get past the trivial aspects that I had held myself a victim toward or apathetic about and be able to integrate living principles that are absolutely non existent in a reality where we abuse life in the name of power as money, in a world where a single value system has become our image and likeness of desires, wants, needs and imaginations that only benefit ourselves, disregarding the consideration of how the abuse on Earth is not built only through/due to money, but the relationships, the contracts, the profiles, the pictures we’ve created within our reality.

 

I learned what Equality means in physical practical terms, what the equation of 1+1=2 meant and I can now laugh a a bit at myself when we were discussing the Equal Money System back in 2009 and I remember asking him: but what will be the value of money then? And he simply said: Life. Eureka! a whole new world was able to be realized just because it revealed to me what kind of religion our political, economic an political systems had become. I also learned how to give myself direction and take on greater responsibilities within the group, which is something I had held myself back from doing just because of those initial fears and seeing the points as separate from me – yet when realizing the principles required for it, one can certainly develop this resolve as we go integrating the living principles necessary to establish self-trust and be able to genuinely begin living without the constant desire to ‘return to my safe cave’ and ‘forget about this ever happening’ – such point cannot exist when one realizes the extent of the problem we’re facing in this world and existence and the responsibility we hold toward every single word, every single screwed up relationship we’ve established as the reverse of Life and how we must stand up to genuinely correct the damage we’ve done to ourselves and every other living particle we’ve taken for granted as part of ourselves.

My resolve to this process is to establish the living principles he stood as the way I have been walking for the past 5 years, of course I require to strengthen my ability to see beyond the ‘downfalls’ when we see there is no way out, because we both agreed that there is always a way out and that is how one can always see solutions where I once only saw gloom and doom, death and destruction.

 

After these years of having walked the placement and development of economic, political and social systems applying the principles he shared with us, I realize the importance of first beginning to establish a living common sensical understanding and application of all of these principles and actually living them, embodying them as the way we relate to ourselves, to one another,  and stand as that pillar of support to others to o the same because I can see that we require each other to make this work and this is how more than this being about Bernard is about the living principles of self integrity, honor, self respect that we will continue to live and apply toward one another, being grateful for the existence of human beings around the world that as myself are able to Hear his words and commit ourselves to be the examples that this world has yet to realize we are all able to be and become, when we start honoring life and ensuring that we live the words and walk the way forward.

 

Thank you Bernard! I will be forever grateful but more than that, we got to now stand as the principles you left and not be a only a follower – we’re ready and capable of this. Let’s do it!

 

Bernard’s blog:

Creation’s Journey To Life

 

Also check out:

Bernard Poolman’s Quotes

 

 

Mantis on Bernard’s hand (2009)

Support for Destonians:

• Bernard Poolman’s Passing Away

 

• Here are the links to begin warming up and get familiar with Desteni, an all encompassing reality investigation of reality, the mind, the afterlife, the world system in its economic and social structure, religions, spirituality, psychology, language, human interactions, and just about anything that you may have ever pondered about yourself and reality can be disclosed and found here:
• Desteni
• Desteni Articles
• Destonians
• Desteni Lite Process
• Desteni I Process
• Desteni Forum
• Desteni Wiki
• Desteni Español
• Creation’s Journey to Life
• Heaven’s Journey To Life
• 7 Year Journey To Life Process
• Equal Life Foundation
• Basic Income Guaranteed
• Equal Money

And don’t forget to watch Bernard’s favorite besides Coffee: The Century of the Self

 

What now?

 

Ready to Become a Destonian and start Walking your Journey to Life? Here’s How: 1) Make the Decision to Take Responsibility for yourself and stand up for Life in Equality – start Writing Yourself to Freedom, open up a blog and make a commitment to Walk the 7 year Journey to Life and share others’ blogs as well https://www.facebook.com/groups/journeytolife/ 2) Join the Desteni Lite Free Course to walk step by step the tools of Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self Honesty and becoming the Living Solution for this World. http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ 3) Join the Desteni Forum: participate in discussions, ask questions and post your own blogs in the 7 Year Journey to Life thread, Let yourself be Known for your Commitment to Stand up for Life http://forum.desteni.org/ 7 Year Journey to Life Walkers: http://forum.desteni.org/viewforum.php?f=75&sid=361564addd09c47738ca69f5f9da4e82 4) Support the Living Income Guaranteed Proposal – Visit basicincome.me for regular updates and participate in the discussions on the site http://basicincome.me/ http://basicincome.me/discuss http://www.youtube.com/biguaranteed 5) Support Desteni and Yourself through investing in Educational and Self Supportive Material at Eqafe.com https://eqafe.com/ and Hear all the Free Stuff here: https://eqafe.com/free 6) Read, Subscribe to and Share Destonian’s blogs, vlogs and the Desteni Material on Social Media Sites Give to the same Support to others as have been Given to You – Spread the Living Word wherever you can http://destonians.com/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/2403779056/ 7) Commit yourself to this Process Realizing that You are not only Walking for Yourself but to bring about a World that we all want to Live in. Share your process in videos YouTube for greater Impact and Support

 

Thank you all for reading and walking with, let’s continue honoring each other.

357. Self Leadership and Equal Money

The way to stop being led by interests that do not benefit all life in equality is by standing One and Equal to the powers we have abdicated our self responsibility to – this means: Each one of us have to Become and Stand as Equal Leaders to Create and Direct ourselves to establish a World System that is Best for All.

 

 

Continuing:

• 332. Word Policy in Equal Money Capitalism
• 331. What is Best for All in Equal Money Capitalism
• 333. Life = Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 334. Equality in Equal Money Capitalism
• 335. Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 336. Self Responsibility in Equal Money Capitalism
• 337. Common Sense and Equal Money Capitalism
• 338. What is Equal Money Capitalism?
• 339. Value in Equal Money
  • 340. The Imposition of the Symbols of Power
  • 341. Why don’t We Get Rid of Money in Equal Money?
  • 342.Monetary System in Equal Money Capitalism
  • 343. How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?
• 344. Integrity in Equal Money
• 345. Freedom in Equal Money
  • 346. Manumission with Equal Money
  • 347. How to Become the Change in this World? Equal Money
• 348. Self Honesty in Equal Money
• 349. Self Will in Equal Money
• 350. Self Forgiveness in Equal Money
• 351. The Problem of Human Nature and Equal Money
• 352. The Solutions to Human Nature with Equal Money
• 353. The Best Regime is Equal Money
• 354. Self Governance in Equal Money
• 355. Activism and Mind Control
• 356. Activism and Equal Money

 

 

Problem                                                             

• Now that we understand how Self Governance will become the new way of organizing ourselves in our society, it is necessary to understand what was the initial abdication of Self Responsibility at a social and individual level to see how we went from directing ourselves according to the laws of nature, our environment and this physical reality in terms of what was available to eat, the necessary actions that we had to direct in order to  sustain our lives in our communities and how we then created an absolute hierarchical division that took us to exist in a polarized state of coexistence with master-slave relationships that remained as such until today – just with different names and scenarios. We believed that slavery was only inflicted onto people that were forced to work with little to no pay doing inhumane and straining jobs that no one else in their absolute self-determined faculties would have agreed to do. 

  The history of our civilization proves till this day that the moment we are coerced by any means to exist in a state of limitation, we are by definition accepting a form of enslavement to that which causes the limitation – in our current society it is money.  As we have reviewed in previous blogs, this is caused by the acceptance and allowance of a governmental structure that wasn’t designed to support, supervise, protect and empower people, but instead do the exact opposite: it was the necessary structure to establish an entire system of control over the population to generate the most benefit for a minority around the world which used politics, economy, religion and media – among others – as ways to sustain that structure and be benefited by it.

 

• Our media, our education, our history, family, books, labor, entertainment, religions, language, monetary system, banking systems were all vehicles and the necessary tools and organizations that were created to ensure that we are born into this world ready to accept a state of inequality, abuse, coercion, fear, ruling powers, scarcity, exploitation, fanaticism, winners and losers, cheaters that are cheered and pondered as winners, governments that set up terrorist acts to unite people, charities that are meant to accept poverty as an ‘eternal’  problem in this world, justifying lack of money and education as an outflow of an individual’s ‘lack of enthusiasm’ to improve themselves, aberrant behavior as some form of ‘bad gene’ that indisposes an individual to succeed in life, but no one dares to examine how we created the problem and in this same tonality, we haven’t bothered to really understand how every single bit of evil as the reverse of life that is existent in this, exists as such by our own acceptance and allowance of one initial point of separation at a social level: the people and the government as the relationship of power that we all integrated as part of ‘how the world works/ how our society functions’ – this was a great mistake. We saw it happening all the time, generation after generation never questioning it, always bowing to the master and accepting the fact that we can get to be ‘a bit more free’ with more money, but never really be free from being a slave to he same money that gives us such freedom – this means that: we were never in fact ‘meant’ to be free in our current world-system and political structure.

 

• To be ‘led’ we first had to accept a condition of being ‘less to others’ that were placed by default in his preprogrammed system to be ‘the leaders.’ This is how with this inherent accepted and allowed division, we allowed ourselves to be owned/ directed and controlled by others. Thus, by separating our private life/’civil society’ from the state affairs managed by a governing elite, we accepted and allowed the master-slave relationship that we are living in today where we protest and ask for justice to a system that was Never meant to be just in itself (read the two previous entries on Activism and Self Governance in this blog for further explanation.)  We endowed the government with divine powers that we got to be aware of even in our History books with the absolutist and despotic kings that were accepted as such by virtue of their self-proclamation as them. This is how through force and belief our own enslavement was forged as the identity of who we are as part of this state configuration that was meant to be the ultimate polarization possible to the benefit of a few, which is unfortunately what we are living in today.

 

• In this regard there is really no ‘bad governance’ when the very blueprint of governance was never meant to be that of creating a well being and benefits for all; it would be like judging a gun/weapon to commit mistakes or be a ‘bad tool’ because of killing people, without realizing it was engineered to do just that.  The same with laws that stem from and are created when a relationship of power is established between two or more parties, which means we would not require all of these uber-complicated legal systems if we had agreed to live in equality as life. Here it is to understand that ‘Equality as Life’ is Not ‘idealism,’ it is how things should have Always Been, we just accepted all limitations and complicated laws because of wanting to have power over others, we wanted to guard/ protect our own interests, our own separation from one another to win and have ‘more’ than the rest, that’s what our laws serve for. Thus abiding to the law in a state brewed with with bad weeds will obviously lead to a rotten stale taste of a tea that will never ‘taste good’ because the mechanisms as the words and intent implied were never meant to benefit Life in Equality.

 

• We have accepted and allowed ourselves to be led to build our own prison in the cognitive dissonant state of thinking that we were being lead to a prosperous future by our rulers, kings, governors, authorities and in this process having to accept ‘some’ limitations and suffering  to ‘eventually’ get to a state of bona fide bonanza and absolute living enjoyment, which instead of this stability and ‘good governance’ being the guidance to create harmonious societies, we dictated our lives through fear, extortion, subjugation to a system of fear as ‘the guiding light’ where we believed there was no other way to do things and essentially being coerced to ‘accept it or leave it’ if we want to keep having food and a roof over our head – we became fearful to lose the right to life that we abdicated to these authorities, and learned to only Obey and ‘Follow the Leader.’

 

• As time progressed in history, any form of ‘Good Governance’ became a ‘utopia’ and something really separate from reality that would never be possible to achieve having the human elements of greed, desire for power, specialness, self interest, selfishness, etc., wherein someone would ‘always want to be in control/ be on top’ of others – but this only came to be an accepted and allowed reality because we didn’t question the order any further, we accepted it as divine, as our fate, our cross, our suffering to eventually maybe get to an endless-fulfillment in heaven after death. There were many reasons why we accepted this imposition of power by these hegemons in our governmental systems, which eventually became our current monetary, banking and financial systems that rule us all under one single symbol that is well known to everyone no matter what language you speak: money as the tool used by those in governance/ positions of authority/ corporate directors  to control the masses, to administrate resources in a rigged manner so that no one was ever in fact free unless they were somehow allied with the major establishment of this power structure – this seldom ever happened.

 

• In a parallel mode, at an individual human being level,  this same imposition of power exists as our own mind in which we accepted the dominance of belief systems, experiences as fears, desires, feelings, competition, love, hate, relationships of winning and losing to become ‘our nature’ and something with which we occupied ourselves enough to only have time to make a living – earn money in the system – and deal with our personal inner conflicts, personal relationships and cope with our ‘human nature’ – psychological problems – which has prevailed as the best way in which we have become subject to our emotions and experiences generated at a mind level, instead of becoming self directive in everything that we experience,  because no matter how much one seeks to reach a level of ‘self improvement’ and ‘feel great’ about yourself: the moment that you are still bound to work for more than 40 hours a week without any other option to make a living you must know that ‘feeling great’ about yourself does not solve the root of the problem that caused us to feel ‘bad’ and be unstable, insecure, selfish, greedy and fearful beings,  because the root is not an experience only, but a flawed system never designed to establish equality as life – thus our minds became our own rulers, our own policemen in the head that has dictated every single aspect of our self experience in our lives, which means that we externalized this mind self-determination and limitation onto a structure that has ruled and dominated our lives as the world system.

 

• We criticize our leaders as incompetent, corrupt, idiotic, despotic, fools, greedy, killers etc., however we have never dared to look in Self Honesty and realize that they are the embodiment of everything that we have collectively created as the result of the inherent separation we all accepted and allowed in the procreation of these two major divisions in society:  the ruling class and the working class, the masters and the slaves, the poor and the rich, the educated, the badly or uneducated ones, etc.  Thus what ‘they’ became and embody as leaders is in fact revealing to us where and how we have abdicated our responsibility to be self directive, to be self responsible to the environment we live in, to ensure each other lives in the best possible way, to care for one another as equals…. none of this has been implemented as part of our education, unless you are in some form of religious school where they teach you some of these values but even then, you are taught to be a leader upon others that you will ‘treat as equals’ but, definitely earn more than them. Thus, it is to emphasize our collective responsibility within this world system – we have always been living in this world repeating the same patterns, the same mistakes, the same history year after year, generation after generation without a question.

 

• This is how any ‘fight for freedom’ can only exist if we gave up our ability to be self-directive and self-willed to take part in the organization and structuring of our societies to be self directive and govern ourselves effectively, which is ultimately intervening in politics; and because we accepted an absurdity such as a ‘political elite’ it was obvious that the way in which our society was going to be managed, directed and governed was going to be in accordance to the best interests of these individuals. Thus we can’t blame them from doing their job in their intended and self interested way – instead we have to look at how we all and allowed such power-structure belief and legitimize it as the way how our society is organized. That’s where we gave up any form of ‘liberty and justice’ because we accepted the patriarch, the god and savior structure instead of taking responsibility for ‘public affairs’ ourselves, which means that there should be no such separation between ‘public’ and ‘private’ in the first place if we had all set up a world system that simply considered to establish equality to live our lives in the best way possible.

 

 

Solution                                                              

• Self Leadership entails our ability to guide ourselves within and without to ensure that the principle of Life in Equality is realized, lived and expressed as who we are/ what we do, and as such generate the same proper living conditions and guidance in the form of a self-governance in a managerial organization that will simply reflect the individual order we will integrate as part of ourselves in the form of self direction, self guidance as self leadership, being ready to create and establish self-change in our reality by principle, not by fear or any other secondary reaction.

 

• To dissolve the separation between the public and private, the people and the political elite, we have to become that which we have separated ourselves from: we have to use the system, become the political actors as the ones that will ensure we stop the past within ourselves as the abdication of our self direction and self governance to a power structure as governments, laws and money and redefine, redirect and lead ourselves and each other to coexist in equality by using the same organizational structures with a new starting point: establishing life  in equality through a new political, social and economic order such as redefining Money as Life. This process implies that every structure that does not conform to the Equalization of each individual as Life will cease to exist and/or be transformed/ aligned to adopt the new living Principle of Life in Equality as What is Best for All.

 

• To ensure this is possible, we have to consider again the process of Education that we will have to direct, implement and walk ourselves in order to redefine the values that have been accepted and allowed as ‘how society works’ by tradition, by the value of money over life, morality, religions, media, national identities etc. Thus by redefining money as life and establishing a system where self-governance exists, we lead ourselves to the best possible outcomes by the integration of Self Responsibility, Self Will, Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness to develop Common Sense  and  become the actual directors of our destiny, instead of only being a consequential outflow guided by a ‘fate’ that we didn’t have any control upon.

 

• We will develop and use  common sense and living realizations to become the directors and ‘leaders’ of our every day living to become, sustain and maintain our world as a functioning whole in Equality.This is how when the individual is educated to become acquainted with living values will lead to a best for all living condition – we will cease to require any governments or leadership outside of ourselves, we will instead become it individually.

 

Redefining Direction/ Self Leadership:

“Dire”-“ected” – electing that which has become dire (separation, conflict, friction, fighting, violence, deception, dishonesty, secrets, lies, wars, poverty, backchat, thoughts, emotions/feelings etc.) within ourselves, our personal worlds and this world as a whole, and changing / transforming that dire nature /consequence into that which will assist/support self, self’s living and this world into an expression that will bring forth a self, a living and a world that will produce/manifest Life. “Life” where self/self’s living is aligned with walking what is/will be best for self as all, to walk oneself as a living example for others, in stopping/changing/transforming that direness of self, and so others do the same and we become Living Beings that honour/respect/consider/regard ourselves/each other as equals and as one. And as all stand together in stopping/changing/transforming that which has become/is “Dire” of ourselves, our living and this world = we become Directed and it is done, as we have elected, changed and transformed the direness of this existence, and birthed Life from the physical.” – Sunette spies 

 

• This self direction begins at an individual level every single moment that we are able to, instead of  benefitting the mind, the system, the past structures of power and control, do what is best for all life as a common self interest. Self Honesty implies acting and living at a physical level where we work together to first establish the necessary living disposition to be able to guide ourselves to coexist as life in equality, which will lead us to become the individuals that generate the necessary changes in the world  that  ensure we are honoring, supporting, benefitting each other as equals, doing what we would like others to do onto ourselves and becoming the examples to prove we don’t require someone to tell us what to do, how to do it and why doing it,  because we will be absolutely self aware of the cause and effect of our thoughts, words and deeds upon our reality.  Thus we remove the ‘command’ and superiority charge from the word leadership and instead live it as our ability to educate share and direct ourselves individually in equality – this resolves the need to have something/someone ‘outside’ of ourselves to do it for us.

 

Read about : Politics in Equal Money

 

Rewards                                                              

• The ability to create ourselves as an actual expression of life as self-directive individuals is only possible within the integration of this living principle of Life in Equality, where our direction is genuine to create a benefit for ourselves and everyone else as equals.  This is thus establishing the ideal way in which our world should have always functioned; there is no need to make it an ‘utopia,’ it is by the work of our hands, practice education and self-directive abilities that we can create it ensure every single aspect of our lives is lived in the best possible manner.

 

• We will also learn by experience how to do this, how to test what works/ what doesn’t work, how to fine tune our solutions and learn according to the application of new methods and ways to live the best possible way . This trial and error will exist because there is no preprogramming that will ensure things ‘work’ in the first go, yet the ability to try out all options will not be limited by money/ anything or anyone any more. This is how we will be able to direct/ guide and lead ourselves to solutions and new ways of living once that we go slowly but surely, unbinding ourselves from the power structures we have been so used to exist as, which is how an individual process of Self Leadership is required to be walked at an individual level, to establish Self-Trust and then be able to trust each other as individuals that will always act in the best interest of all Life in Equality.

 

• We will shed the skin of idolatry, following leaders,  a religious master or guru or any other person that we have placed as ‘authority’ and ‘leader’ in order to establish ourselves as self directive, self responsible individuals.We will stop fearing  all forms of limitation and punishment if not ‘following the rules,’ because we will only follow the laws of our being which is Equality as Life where No Masters and No Slaves exist. We have to become and stand as the leaders that we always wanted to be but were too scared to become. It is our time now to become them.

 

• We have the Power and Ability to Create this World by the Words We Decide and Direct ourselves to Live.

 

                                                                                                                                                                

• Education is Available here:

• Desteni

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course to Learn how to become part of the Solutions presented here

• Desteni Forum

 

• Visit the Group Capitalism vs. Equal Money group on Facebook.

• Read the Equal Money Wiki

• Read Economist’s Journey to Life

• For more about Self Education on Words, visit the Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process

• Read the 7 Year Journey To Life blogs

 

 

 

Blogs:

• 
  

  Day 352: Occupy Wall Street and Zeitgeist: Can the 99% Count?

• 
  

  Day 351: Desteni, Equal Money, Zeitgeist and Occupy Wall Street

• 
  

  The meaning of Self-forGifting/Giving Life – Part …2

• 
  

  Planting the Seeds of Life: DAY 345

• 
  

  Day 6 – The Politics of Protest – Part Two: The Build Before Mass Protest

• Day 353: Karma and Spiritual Compassion

• “The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side…” – DAY 348 …

• DAY 361: New Science – A Battery that Lasts a Thousand Times Longer

 

Hear:

• 
  

  “In Money we Trust”: DAY 354

• The Soul of Money

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 1) – Part 179

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 2) – Part 180

• The Human Mind as a Computer – Reptilians – Part 182

• The Nature of Words – Reptilians – Part 183

   

Vlogs:

• Self Leadership and Self Governance

• Who Violates Our Rights?

• Why is Self Responsibility Not Taught in Schools?

• What is Desteni and Equal Money?

351. The Problem of Human Nature and Equal Money

 

Human Nature  is the actual source of the problem in this world – by this we refer to the traits that exist as self interest in our minds with which we separate ourselves from the physical common sense of Equality as Life. It is about time we understand that it is not only the Environment that is the problem that shapes Human Behavior, but instead realize how we have created such environment as the image and likeness of our mind.

Continuing:

• 332. Word Policy in Equal Money Capitalism
  • 331. What is Best for All in Equal Money Capitalism
  • 333. Life = Money in Equal Money Capitalism
  • 334. Equality in Equal Money Capitalism
  • 335. Money in Equal Money Capitalism
  • 336. Self Responsibility in Equal Money Capitalism
  • 337. Common Sense and Equal Money Capitalism
  • 338. What is Equal Money Capitalism?
  • 339. Value in Equal Money
    • 340. The Imposition of the Symbols of Power
    • 341. Why don’t We Get Rid of Money in Equal Money?
    • 342.Monetary System in Equal Money Capitalism
    • 343. How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?
  • 344. Integrity in Equal Money
  • 345. Freedom in Equal Money
    • 346. Manumission with Equal Money
    • 347. How to Become the Change in this World? Equal Money
  • 348. Self Honesty in Equal Money
  • 349. Self Will in Equal Money
  • 350. Self Forgiveness in Equal Money

 

 

Problem                                                                

“Human nature refers to the distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have naturally, i.e. independently of the influence of culture. The questions of what these characteristics are, what causes them, and how fixed human nature is, are amongst the oldest and most important questions in western philosophy. These questions have particularly important implications in ethics, politics, and theology. This is partly because human nature can be regarded as both a source of norms of conduct or ways of life, as well as presenting obstacles or constraints on living a good life. The complex implications of such questions are also dealt with in art and literature, while the multiple branches of the Humanities together form an important domain of inquiry into human nature, and the question of what it means to be human.
–http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_nature

 

• Human Nature is the most common excuse that we as humans use in order to justify that it is impossible to change the world, because ‘human nature’ is just ‘who we are/ how we are/ what we do and how we will always continue to be’ this has become the perfect way to keep people at bay and not attempt to question and change their own lives, and the lives of others because, once this human nature premise is accepted as an irreparable conduct, any solution to the problems of this world will only be sought outside of ourselves, keeping this inherent ‘nature’ intact and unquestioned, because ‘that which makes us human’ such as emotions, feelings and a strong sense of self-importance above others is ‘who we are and have always been.’  All that is recognized is that we have always been greedy, envious, selfish, egotistical beings that are always seeking to better ourselves upon others, always competing, having no sense of social responsibility,  always hungry for power and wealth to have control over others without realizing it is all done in the name of fear; this sociopathic behavior has been accepted as who we ‘are’ by default and it’s often believed to only be the consequence of the environment, but it isn’t.

 

• It is only now that we are able to understand the mind that we realize how it is that we have created the environment as a result of all of these human traits that are the origin of the nature of our societies and power structures alike. We believe it is only the nature of some ‘vile’ individuals  that have set up this massive prison, but it is not true, we built it ourselves through our own Accepted and Allowed nature with no intention to question it or change it. Instead we glorified it through our mutual acceptance of the excuse ‘But I am only human’ and ‘In the end I am human and make mistakes/ become emotional’ and even got to praise these mind experiences through  artistic demonstrations wherein all the human is able to create from the starting point of being an individual with an eternal inner conflict between emotions, feelings and the real world. This became part of the universal traits that we  only learned we had to learn how to ‘cope with.’ It is within such belief and acceptance that we have created our absolute enslavement by our own mind and hands.
• To Understand the nature of the Mind, it is important to study the Desteni Material, an investigation for over 7  years about the actual systematic nature of the mind that has been unknown to ourselves until now. You can visit the Desteni Articles to begin reading part of this continuous investigation.

 

• “Human Nature  can’t be changed” –  this is  a mind definition with no awareness of who we are as the mind, who we are as a physical body, our beingness and our relationship with this physical existence throughout time;  we have always accepted and allowed ourselves to say ‘it is how it always has been’ and in that prevent anyone from actually beginning to question that which we have always taken for granted, which is our ability to think, to become emotional, to create value systems and create relationships based on individual self interest.  We can look at how even the ability to question these ‘traits’ is already seen as something that is threatening to our nature, to ‘that which makes us humans’ which means that we have reduced ourselves to only be emotional and feeling energetic systems that act in self interest with no regard to the physical laws that govern our reality and our own physical stability. It is certain that if in our minds we regarded ourselves as physical beings that have the same attributes as everyone else – such as a physical body requiring food, water, shelter, clothing, etc. – the ability to understand Equality would be greater, however this is not so and this explains to what extent we are literally brainwashed ourselves to not recognize that all points of ‘individuality’ as preferences, characters, emotional traits are only but mind configurations that generate the first obstacle to recognize each other as Equals in the physical common sensical meaning of the word. We could create an entire treaty on human nature, but for that I suggest reading the blogs as well as the Desteni Material to understand more about who we are as the Mind, our Nature and how to reflect ourselves upon the words contained in these websites:

  • Heaven’s Journey to Life
  • A Psychologist’s Journey to Life
  • Crime’s Journey to Life
  • Creation’s Journey to Life
  • 7 Year Journey to Life Blogs

 

• The fact is that there are very few aspects about the nature of the mind generally known by humanity at this stage with regards to our creation and origin, our purpose in this reality. Even psychology as the science that is supposed to study the nature of the mind and behavior of the human being is only existing as a coping mechanism to deal with  ‘human nature’ or simply redirect the usual human traits mentioned earlier, but there has never been an actual re-educational process at an individual level to prove that through getting to know ourselves as our mind as the ability to recognize all the patterns that have led us to the current consequences we’re facing in our world and reality, and establishing a Principle to live by in common sense as what is Best for All we can become a human being that stops existing in the same full acceptance to our mind as ‘who we are’ and start living as an individual that begins to understand how we can only ensure our personal well being if we ensure each other’s well being in Equality.

 

• We have become the victims of our own beliefs and experiences in this reality – we created gods or systems to take care of ourselves, delegating any responsibility to never realize that it was in fact us that created the very prison we now complain about; this prison exists at a Mind Level which we eventually externalized as the nature of our world system and environment. We can have to look at how the inequality existent in this world is the result of every single inferiority and superiority belief or complex that we believe is ‘real’ and ‘who we are’ and what we have a ‘right to live by,’ which are nothing but accepted and allowed beliefs, ideas and perceptions we have of ourselves in relation to other human beings; for example, we can look at  how we envy others fortune, good looks or personalities and then think that such inner experience and opinion upon others has no effect on the ‘outside world’ – well, it obviously does and every single thought, action/ inaction and spoken or kept quiet word has an effect on everything and everyone in our reality, because we are all coexisting in the same physical reality where every single relationship we form toward another reflects on the mechanisms that run our lives in the ‘greater picture’ as our world system. This means that the environment, the systems, the agreements, the unspoken rules with which we direct ourselves are directly stemming from these accepted and allowed self beliefs on multiple levels that have gotten ourselves to exist the way we do now where we are fearing each other in a constant manner, we are fighting and competing to every other individual that we conceive as an enemy of sorts in this world and reality that we have turned into a battle field where life has been reduced to a winning or losing situation.

 

 

• The problem is self evident every time that we study the laws, policies, constitutions and ‘behavioral codes’ existent in every organization, institution and system that defines how we live our lives where No life is actually considered, but only interests are kept safe from other only those that have the most money have the ability to protect themselves, and for the most part they are used to make money when it is convenient to allege that there is some form of infringement happening so that these individual interests above the rest are always the ones that are considered first – this means there is no common sense or any sense of honoring life in our legal and political systems, because we have created the world system in such a way that our interests are ‘mutually exclusive’ which makes Equality impossible when pondering self interest over common sense.

 

• When a new living system where we can all live as Equals is presented and proposed, the usual comments point out that ‘we as humans will always want more than others’ and how ‘there will always be someone that wants to take control of the situation’ and this is why we have created world systems that enable this abuse. Is this preventable? Yes it is, and this is part of the primary premises that must be considered when looking at a process to Change the World in a practical and viable manner. At the moment none of these considerations exist because we have disregarded to look at the root and cause of the ‘problem in the system’ which is within each one of us, in our mind, in our own behavior and preferences that override common sense – this is what creates the environment as a reflection of this nature wherein only individual interests are cared for, and any regard to consider everyone as Equals is seen as a threat to this individuality that is protected and guarded mostly with money at the moment. This means that we in fact fear having ‘the same as everyone else’ because of our belief that it is okay for us to want more than what we have, and aspire to have control over others for our own benefit. The current individual interests that we exist as are founded upon abuse, because every time that only the interests of a few are guarded we must know that the majority will be disregarded and abused to create such well being for only a few, which is what has happened throughout history.

 

• We cannot just blame the environment and victimize ourselves for the nature of the people that govern us.  They are equal to us and everyone else that has accepted the mind-experience of thinking, desiring and experiencing belief systems to be real which is how the power that we have agreed to endow to them is legitimized through our own acceptance and allowance of this nature as ‘normal’ to human beings. This resides as the acceptance of ‘who we are’ and how we have understood each other to be throughout generations where we never questioned why some individuals had more money/power/influence over the population than others and how we shaped the system in itself to adopt these type of facts as ‘true,’ which became the very laws that currently conduct our lives.

 

 

To be continued with Solutions and Rewards in the following post… 

 

• Education is Available here:

• Desteni

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course to Learn how to become part of the Solutions presented here

• Desteni Forum

 

• Visit the Group Capitalism vs. Equal Money group on Facebook.

• Read the Equal Money Wiki

• Read Economist’s Journey to Life

• For more about Self Education on Words, visit the Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process

• Read the 7 Year Journey To Life blogs

 

 

 

Blogs:

• 
  

  Day 352: Occupy Wall Street and Zeitgeist: Can the 99% Count?

• 
  

  Day 351: Desteni, Equal Money, Zeitgeist and Occupy Wall Street

• 
  

  The meaning of Self-forGifting/Giving Life – Part …2

• 
  

  Planting the Seeds of Life: DAY 345

• 
  

  Day 6 – The Politics of Protest – Part Two: The Build Before Mass Protest

 

Hear:

• 
  

  The Soul of Money

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 1) – Part 179

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 2) – Part 180

• The Human Mind as a Computer – Reptilians – Part 182

• The Nature of Words – Reptilians – Part 183

   

 

Vlogs:

• Capitalism is the Reflection of Human Nature – YouTube

• What is Desteni and Equal Money?

• Self-Honesty versus Honesty

• The meaning of Self-forGifting/Giving Life: DAY 343

• 2011: I am Destonian: Walking the Desteni of Existence

• 2012: Equality and Oneness

349. Self Will in Equal Money

Self Will is living the decision to do what is Best for All as a Living Principle.

 

Continuing:

• 332. Word Policy in Equal Money Capitalism
• 331. What is Best for All in Equal Money Capitalism
• 333. Life = Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 334. Equality in Equal Money Capitalism
• 335. Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 336. Self Responsibility in Equal Money Capitalism
• 337. Common Sense and Equal Money Capitalism
• 338. What is Equal Money Capitalism?
• 339. Value in Equal Money
• 340. The Imposition of the Symbols of Power
• 341. Why don’t We Get Rid of Money in Equal Money?
• 342.Monetary System in Equal Money Capitalism
• 343. How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?
• 344. Integrity in Equal Money
• 345. Freedom in Equal Money
• 346. Manumission with Equal Money
• 347. How to Become the Change in this World? Equal Money
• 348. Self Honesty in Equal Money

 

 

Problem                                                                

• Self Willed:   adjective obstinately pursuing one’s own wishes.
• This drive to pursue our wishes become a synonym to ‘living,’ which is when one is arduously pursuing happiness, continuously aspiring to become ‘the best’ and constantly imagine to be ‘at the top’ to have a point of freedom, enjoyment and expression as the ideals we have only learned to imagine and seek to attain without understanding first why we were born with inherent limitations to not have such conditions as part of our living environment. Self-Will has become a purpose driven action that guides our every breath to ‘attain’ something –or someone – and believe that such wish, desire, want or need is in fact ‘who we are’ and is absolutely real and acceptable; however, what happens when 2/3 of the Earth’s population have no means to attain even their most sincere wishes such as having food on the table, having a house to live in, having potable water and energy resources? Our self-will in a money-driven world has become the justification for greed and wanting ‘more’ even if we already have enough, and we justify this because: it is our ‘pursuit of happiness’ that we are acting on, and because it is part of our constitution we should all be free to live it – but no one questions why happiness is such an expensive thing to buy or attain instead of being readily given by virtue of being alive in this world.

 

• We are well accustomed to be motivated by our own future projections, our dreams of having a better life or having enough money to settle down and have the perfect life – which means stopping being in a constant survival mode – we use visuals in our minds to remind ourselves why we are doing what we are doing, why we are having a terrible job that we don’t enjoy at all but do anyways because it’s the only option that we have. We constantly like to think that ‘it will only be temporary’  and prefer to daydream about having a better financial situation wherein we won’t have to ‘deal’ with what our lives have become: a fear based and survival driven ‘living’ condition, which is thus not living – but only surviving. We accept this as ‘how things have always been’ and haven’t moved ourselves to question why we created such a terrible conditioning for everyone. We accept being ‘motivated’ by our imagination because we feel that’s the only place where we can ‘truly be free’ and as such, we will ourselves to do whatever is required to ‘make our dreams comes true.’ Unfortunately, such dreams of ‘betterment’ along with the acceptance of ‘how things are’ are part of the social conditioning to have people always aspiring to do better in their lives to attain some form of freedom or wealth, while the carrot is absolutely fixed on a stick and unable to be reached. People spend their lifetimes searching for this freedom to no avail – yet new generations come and everything remains the same, because the system was the one thing that is constantly blamed for this, instead of realizing it is ourselves as human beings that have established our own belief systems and limitations and think this is ‘how the world works.’ This means that we disregard in every moment that we have the power to actually change this.

 

• Many of us want to create a change in this world, however when self-will to change the world exists as a point motivated by desires or fear of ending up at the very bottom of it all, or facing all the consequences that we have accumulated thus far as humanity, we end up creating solutions that will only deal with ‘removing’ the fear factor and getting ourselves back to a ‘feel good’ condition, instead of realizing how we created the problem in order to establish change. This is why the problem won’t ‘go away’ unless we  live a process of self correction and self realization to recognize the steps of How we created the problem in the first place. This is what we have to realize in order to not seek for a solution outside of ourselves or only blame the system, government, the ‘environment’ for our current condition and  inner experience – Self Honesty implies taking responsibility for everything we see requires to be changed within the understanding that it is the nature of who we have always been that is the cause and source of our current crisis lived at all levels of our existence at the moment. 

 

 

Solution                                                                                       

• Self Will is living the decision to do what is Best for All. It is expressing ourselves as the volition of Life in Equality – this means directing ourselves to act, think and do what is in the best interest of all life without expecting a reward or attaining something in separation of ourselves. In this, no energy driven experience exists, no ‘ultimate desires,’ no wants or needs are to be satisfied only at an individual level, but  always ensure everyone else’s are also satisfied.  It is the act of driving and motivating ourselves to physically move to do something, to act and make the necessary changes in ourselves, our reality to enable life to be lived for the very first time in Equality, because so far we haven’t been the living word.

 

• Self Will is the self direction and self movement that stems from walking the process of Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness – without Self Honesty there is no Self Will but only energy-driven and self-interest purposed-given lives seeking to attain a ‘betterment’ without taking responsibility and  understanding how and why we created a lack and inequality in the first place.  This self will is thus becoming part of the co-creation and cooperation required to establish a world that is based on Equality as what’s Best for All. This is not good or bad, it is simply establishing the physical considerations to ensure that life is sustained, supported and enjoyed by everyone in Equality as how it always should have been – this includes also our individual regard for one another, toward all animals, plants and the environment as part of ourselves.

 

• Living, breathing, existing to create a change in this world is part of the process of Self Realization – this practically means that we understand our co-creation and participation in this world system we are currently limited by and enslaved to; within this, we take responsibility for it by understanding that we have to create the necessary changes within ourselves and without as the system’s structure in order to create a genuine correction of every aspect that has to be founded re-directed to be based upon an Equality-based system, where everything that we require to live is given and received as a functional  understanding of who we are as Life – one and equal. This is what Equal Money will provide as the result of our participation as self-willed individuals to support each other as one.

 

• The  change that we decide to act upon is a Self Willed action: there is no desire, no driving force other than our breath by breath and moment to moment realization that who we are, what we think, what we act or don’t act upon determines the outcome and reality we all live in. It is a realization that if we are all equally responsible for how we have created this world, we have to correct the mess within the understanding and individual application of Self Responsibility where no fear drives us to ‘change the world,’ but we instead do it as part of our day to day process of Self-Honesty and Self Correction to understand that who we are/ what we have become is solely our responsibility and creation and as such, we have the power to change and align to what is Best for All.

 

 

Rewards                                                   

• Living as Self-Willed individuals is part of the perfect order we can establish in the realization of our Equality as Life. This means that everyone’s living understanding of our responsibility, our application of self honesty is lived and as an expression of who we are in every moment of living here as breath, as life in Equality. This is expressed without an effort, without a hassle, without fear or competition against others – it is the living understanding that we can only create the best living conditions to live if we all act in the best interest of all, if we all drive and motivate ourselves by the realization that our well being depends one everyone’s well being in equality – we require to equalize the totality of ourselves to act, express, and  enjoy who we are and what we do as part of this creation.

 

• Self Enjoyment is the Reward from living without a constant drive to ‘attain’ something or ‘make a living – It won’t be defined by something we buy and consume in separation of ourselves, but instead we will live Self Enjoyment as the expression and realization of living according to what is best for all which means no harm, no abuse, no attainment, no fear driven reactions, but pure self movement acts and decisions made and based on that which will ensure everyone’s wellbeing is guaranteed and satisfied.

 

• Self Will becomes our principled living statement as the expression of  Freedom, because there will be no coercion existent in a world where everything we require to live the best way possible is given.  There will be no energetic-high that drives us to become ‘better human beings’ because we will be living this self-improvement as a practical process to expand our abilities and capacity to live in our utmost potential. It is the movement we become as part of an entire organism that can only function in the best living conditions if we all participate and cooperate as equals to sustain it – and this is what living will be understood to be, a realization of the totality of ourselves as a living organism with multiple interactions and individual expressions lived within the principle of what is best for all.  This reward is thus not desire or fear driven, it becomes an expression of who we are in every moment of breath.

 

“If I don’t change, If I don’t move – nothing will change and nothing will move”

 

• Education is Available here:

• Desteni

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course to Learn how to become part of the Solutions presented here

• Desteni Forum

 

• Visit the Group Capitalism vs. Equal Money group on Facebook.

• Read the Equal Money Wiki

• Read Economist’s Journey to Life

• For more about Self Education on Words, visit the Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process

• Read the 7 Year Journey To Life blogs

 

 

Artwork by Matti Freeman

• http://youtube.com/mattifreeman1

• http://youtube.com/matterfreemantv

• http://www.matterfreeman.blogspot.com/

• http://equalmoneyendspoverty.blogspot.com/

• http://mattifreeman.blogspot.com/

 

Blogs:

• 
  

  Day 349: The Message of Jesus

• 
  

  Day 350: The Message of Jesus (Part 2)

 

Hear:

• 
  

  The Soul of Money

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 1) – Part 179

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 2) – Part 180

 

Vlogs:

• What is Desteni and Equal Money?

• Self-Honesty versus Honesty

• The meaning of Self-forGifting/Giving Life: DAY 343

• 2011: I am Destonian: Walking the Desteni of Existence

• 2012: Equality and Oneness

345. Freedom in Equal Money

 

One cannot ‘be free’ from having to breathe every single moment to remain alive. This  should suffice in order to understand the physical laws all living beings are subject to, yet we created the word ‘freedom’ as a convenient and necessary carrot on the stick to ‘live up to’ without first questioning why are we born into  slavery and how it is that we have perpetuated this system where our life has become and asset and part of a greater business scheme, where we are taught to ‘fight for freedom’ and indulge in all forms of Experiences to ‘Feel Free’ but, Can Freedom be Real in our physical reality and if so, how can it be lived within the Principle of Life in Equality?

 

 

 

Continuing:

• 332. Word Policy in Equal Money Capitalism
• 331. What is Best for All in Equal Money Capitalism
• 333. Life = Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 334. Equality in Equal Money Capitalism
• 335. Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 336. Self Responsibility in Equal Money Capitalism
• 337. Common Sense and Equal Money Capitalism
• 338. What is Equal Money Capitalism?
• 339. Value in Equal Money
• 340. The Imposition of the Symbols of Power
• 341. Why don’t We Get Rid of Money in Equal Money?
• 342.Monetary System in Equal Money Capitalism
• 343. How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?
• 344. Integrity in Equal Money

 

 

 

Problem                                                                

 

Definition:

freedom
n    noun
1    the power or right to act, speak, or think freely. the state of having free will.
2    the state of being free. unrestricted use of something.
3    (freedom from) the state o

• Our very own breath is subject to the money that we can make/ not make  in the available jobs wherein we learn to ‘make a living’ and have a life based on survival instead of actual self expression in Equality. Is Freedom possible in this world? Is the physical world able to provide such ‘freedom’ as the definition above denotes?  We can only seek freedom due to recognizing the enslavement we are all bound to where our very own life becomes a contract of constant commercial relationships where the outcome is always seeking to make the most profit – relationships of abuse – that is then turned into a a necessary agreement we submit ourselves to in order to have enough quantity of money to cover our living necessities and if we have a bit more than that, we call it ‘freedom’ and feeling secured by this having-money experience. But why is such secured and comfortable living not an assured support for our lives by virtue of being alive? And why is it that only a few can have such comfort and extra money as freedom while others are subject to work to generate the products and services that the wealthy ones buy with such ‘freedom’ wherein the poor’s need for money leads them to accept ‘any way’ to make the necessary to survive, yet at the same time dreaming of one day being ‘free’ from this system of perpetual self consumption with no regard for equal sustainability as an individual guarantee given by the state.

 

• Freedom is  a concept that generates the belief that our liberation relies upon having more than enough money to decide ‘how we want to live,’ our ability to ‘express’  and ‘the way’ we want to express it, while at the same time being taught and ‘encouraged’ to pursue the options that we are presented with to exercise such freedom according to prefabricated models of expression, identity and individuality that can be bought and sold as experiences of empowerment as along with all the other necessary products and services that we require to live. ‘Freedom’ is but an experience generated by having money to live or more than enough to buy the strictly necessary. This becomes the foundation of the degenerative concept of  Free Will as an apparent self determination that ‘supports’  the ability to ‘choose who you are’ in a world where every single breath you take is subject to the amount of money you have and even in that, one is taught ‘how’ to spend it.

 

• This is indulging in accepted and allowed self-created desires, where buying and consuming becomes a synonym of self-gratification and self-interest  as a ‘well earned freedom’ by working to earn money in a system that is founded upon default slavery-status from birth to death and living within coercive means wherein you either work to get money or starve. 

 

• Why do we have to fight for freedom? Why is it a ‘right’ and how we have abdicated such self determination in this system? Is Freedom  real or is it another product of feel-good words to evade, deny and neglect the responsibility we hold toward each other as part of the whole in Equality?

 

 

freedom
1    the power or right to act, speak, or think freely. the state of having free will.

• As reviewed in the Might Makes Right series, power is a relationship of abuse that generates the necessary Rights for people to ‘defend’ or ‘fight for’ and justify inequality. Freedom is commonly experienced as a state of mind, an empowerment in a self-righteous way without realizing that this ‘fight’  implies that we had to abdicate our ‘right to life’ from birth in order to later on have to reclaim ‘our freedom’ or ‘fight for it’ within the same system that has ensured that we are never actually in fact ‘free’ to have access to that which we require to live in Equality to everyone else. This means that we generated a relationship of separation from our living expression and to a subjugating and binding relationship of ‘power’ and ‘rights’ that is currently existent in the foundation of our political, economic and social organizations.

 

• Our actions are dictated by thoughts which stem from our preprogrammed Mind wherein every single definition we have linked to words is meant to satisfy an individual self interest to feel ‘better’ about ourselves without looking at the root and cause of our eternal longing for ‘freedom’ as the consequential outflow of an inherent limitation existent in our current world system. Therefore, if our freedom is defined according to being able to ‘think freely’ we can already know that such freedom has never in fact existed, because all our words as thoughts and deeds have not been self determined in common sense and according to that which is best for all. Otherwise we would have already lived in a natural state of freedom in Equality and Freedom would not even be a concept to ‘long for’ but an integral aspect of our self-honest and common sensical living principles.

 

 

2    the state of being free. unrestricted use of something.

• Freedom should not be the meaning of ‘liberating oneself from oppression,’ since this would imply that the conditions that generate such enslavement would be constantly re assured every time that ‘Freedom’ is sought or fought for. An example is how every time that we use money we comply to this relationship of enslavement wherein we ratify that it is only with money that we’re able to have the necessary means to live.

 

• Our current understanding of Freedom also entails the ability to have experiences that we call ‘living’ such as buying/ consuming and generating desires upon the ideals that we obtain from our family, our education, society and its 24/7 mirroring media where all values, habits, vocabulary and human experience is imprinted to people through our entertainment and ‘educational’ systems, which is in fact the necessary indoctrination to be shaped and formed according to become part of the working force that is sold to generate an absolute well being to a minority in a system where ‘those at the top’ experience ‘the most freedom’ by enslaving the majority to generate it for them i.e., having people working in slave labor conditions to generate the goods that people with enough money are able to afford.

 

• Freedom becomes ‘libertinage’ in this conception of ‘unlimited abilities’ in a finite physical world where every thought word and deed does have an effect on everyone in an equal basis. This is why when a concept like ‘Free Market’ is imposed, one associates the sense of ‘liberation’ with it and ‘unlimited capacities’ without considering that this physical world cannot sustain such ‘unlimited nature’ and/or capacities that are only a product of a concept that gives the right for desires to exist in our minds that such ‘unlimited nature’ can be true in fact, without seeing that it holds no common sense or physical understanding of the laws we are all subject to where we can Definitely deplete the resources of this Earth if we continue trying to impose our desires and dreams and use our life force to ‘make it a reality.’ This has been the current accepted and allowed abuse because we haven’t learned how to honor ourselves yet, and this is also why we believe we have ‘free reign’ upon reality – have turned of our world into a massive profit-making machine which is busy in  a state of free fall decay wherein new measures are being generated to protect the minorities at the top and keep the majority controlled from commanding further ‘acts of freedom’ that are identified as abuse, without realizing that ‘reclaiming freedom’ is only trying to deal wit the consequence of an accepted and allowed born-into-slavery condition we all exist as in our world system.

 

3    (freedom from) the state of not being subject to or affected by (something undesirable).

• The level of enslavement, limitation and self-imprisonment is created every time that we speak words that result in actions and behaviors that stand in the name of personal interest that lead to harm and abuse in disregard of what is best for all. However, in our system we are taught that being ‘Free’ is having the ability to ‘express’ and call it ‘free speech’ and that is how if someone decides that their expression is to denigrate, abuse, extort or control others –even wage war to protect such freedom – it will be done and blatantly accepted and allowed by everyone regardless because of the false premise of ‘If I want my freedom to be respected, I must respect other’s freedom as well’ And this becomes the glue with which we bind each other to relationships of abuse, extortion, exploitation, murder, violation of physical common sense and the ultimate disintegration of any spec of life that we could hold within ourselves. Freedom thus becomes the accepted and allowed form of abuse, to buy and consume the life that we have placed ‘on sale,’ where every time we obtain something that we require to live, we reinstate and reenact the very acts of complacency to a system that works as the reverse of providing life and security for all in equality.

 

4    a special privilege or right of access, especially that of full citizenship of a particular city given to a public figure as an honour

• We are born into debt in a system where our very Birth Certificate is already an acceptance of our lives lived to serve a corporate system where life is made an asset and sold in a society that functions more like a market than a living playground of ‘unlimited capacities,’ where that which we require to sustain our lives is deliberately turned into product that we can only have access to with money, and money can only be accessed if one works in the system to grant ourselves such ‘right to life.’ This is how Survival is granted through complying and adopting Enslavement as a way to ‘make a living’ – this is existent from the moment we accept money as that necessary entity that enables us to live or die if we have a lack thereof.

 

• There is No Freedom in our world where we become part of a social contract based on a business-model instead of a life supportive system where man-made laws determine what is supposed to be our ability to express and live. Accepting our citizenship is supposed to be the entitlement of our ‘rights’ and ‘guarantees,’ but again, we don’t question why the same state that is supposed to grant these ‘rights’ imposes limitations from the moment we arrive into this world and the food we eat is sold and not given as a living guarantee.

 

• We are introduced to money as a way to ‘obtain more freedom’ in this world, little do we question why we created such an entity to guarantee our ability to live, and why not everyone s granted with this access. We abdicated this ‘freedom’ and complied to only have certain ‘options’ in life and claim we have free choice in a world where nothing is in fact secured, since life is something that cannot be secured with money, otherwise we would have many people buying insurances to remain alive in order to avoid the natural cycles of life and death.

  
  This same cycle is accepted and allowed as our limitation: we are born to give away our life to a system wherein limitation, abuse, subjugation to ‘greater powers’ exist the moment we think that we are in fact acting in ‘our best interest,’ while in fact, in this current system ‘following our dreams’ is only the result of accepting what we are presented as ‘our dreams and desires’ as  and claim such dreams to be the key to our freedom, never questioning why we cannot dare to accept the fact that seeking for freedom already implies we are enslaved – there is no freedom possible where no matter how much money you have, you depend continually on breathing to be able to be alive, that implies having to be bound to a relationship of consumption that is currently turned into an ‘experience’ for the sake of enhancing greed as a means to generate more profit for a few. This is thus what also supports the commercialization and monetization of life, our substance and that which we are all made of.

 

 

5    archaic familiarity or openness in speech or behaviour.

 

• The moment we think, the moment we experience an emotion or a feeling, we are already ‘under the influence’ of the mind, we are then subject to/controlled by energetic experiences where no physical common sense exists. There is no Free will existent where every single thought that we have accepted without a question as ‘who we are’ is a product of the same system that we have lived in and only complained about for not granting us this living-right to ‘freedom,’ without generating or proposing solutions to change it either. If our behavior was truly meant to set us free, we would have stopped desired to generate ‘the most’ only for ourselves because we would have understood how No one is Free until All is Free. This is Self Honesty and this is the base foundation of what Equal Money implies.

 

 

Solution                                                              

“Self Honesty is Freedom from Self Deception” – Bernard Poolman 

 

• Freedom can only exist in Equality – it is the living understanding that we are subject to physical laws that must be taken into consideration in order to ensure that the use of the natural resources to live is done in a moderated and regulated manner that benefits everyone equally. This is a preventive measure to ensure that each one’s access to goods and services required to live are guaranteed. This is  a Physical Common Sensical Freedom that can be obtained through the necessary changes at a political, economic and social level to be Educated to understand this common well being as an individual principled living  in common sense as what is best for all.

Further reading:

• 1. What is Best for All in Equal Money Capitalism
• 333. Life = Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 334. Equality in Equal Money Capitalism
• 335. Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 336. Self Responsibility in Equal Money Capitalism
• 337. Common Sense and Equal Money Capitalism

 

• We have to disengage from our current laws and policies in which we are born into by taking responsibility of the systems that have held such ‘world order’ until today. This is part of the realizations where we understand and accept that we have the ability to decide what is best for all, which must be  the foundation and directive principle to liberate one another from the binding forces of profit making schemes, value systems and interests that we have all adopted without a question in the name of our personal gain without ensuring common benefit at all.

  This is where Self Honesty exists: we cannot ‘be freed’ by fighting against the system or ignoring it, or overriding the current order with separate forms of government or communal living.  We All have to  Take Self Responsibility for the enslavement we have all complied to in the first place. We make use of our democratic systems to become a political party that presents the Principle of Life in Equality so that it can be made an option to be voted along with the current well known ‘old orders’ that we are still subject to.  This is how we will use the current legal and political systems to reinstate  directive Self Responsibility to our living substance and lead ourselves/ our lives in a common sustainable well being principled living where everyone’s expression is exercised in moderation and self-regulation within the understanding and consideration of our thoughts, words and deeds been of no harm and no abuse toward one another. This also implies the liberation of our imposed power systems onto nature, the animal kingdom and every part of this ecosystem that has suffered the consequences of a man-made righteous system of abuse.

 

“Abuse as in abnormal use is to chose to not allow equal freedom in the context of what is best for all” – Bernard Poolman

 

 

• Freedom will be a living integrity where Self Honesty resides in the understanding that everything we require to live are resources that must be made available to all. Hence our virtue to guard everyone’s best interest will ensure that such freedom is never again revoked by individuals or groups attempting to maim and control others in means of obtaining the necessary to live, this is prevented and eradicated by giving equal access to the goods and services required to live in dignity for all.

 

Further suggested reading:

• Directive Dynamics For New World Order

• The Only Relevance of God

 

• Freedom won’t mean  buying, consuming, reproducing the lifestyles of ‘the rich’ and ‘own everything we want.’ We won’t feed the greed  that would re-generate a level of enslavement and limitation toward each other as well as a dishonoring behavior toward the life that we abuse to generate such ‘states of mind.’ This is why through Equal Money we can ensure that this Freedom is lived within common sensical practical understanding of the physical laws we are subject to, such as the natural cycles that we have to consider in order to generate the means for our sustenance, as well as ensuring that  our actions and attitudes are always aligned to be part of this common well being that is generated by the very words we speak and act upon, wherein our freedom is our ability to ensure everyone’s well being is secured as our own, by our own work, by our own self-willed decision to live according to the principle of what is best for all, that’s the only condition where actual freedom can exist.

 

• Freedom from our personal Mind Control is the process that has already begun in which through a personal written process each word that we have tainted with experiences and turned into ‘longing desires,’ wants and needs is taken through a process of writing, applying Self Forgiveness in Self-Honesty to understand how it is in the very words we speak and the way we act and behave toward one another have bound each other to self destructive and abusive behaviors, which in turn exists as the foundation of our current world system: we are it.

  Writing yourself to Freedom is the actual Key to decipher the codes and blueprint of our mind, identify the points of self interest, self dishonesty, abuse, greed and all forms of ego in order to redefine our words so that we may live them/ as them in the best interest of all individuals in Equality as life, ensuring that every word, thought and deed is determined to generate relationships of interdependence and symbiotic behavior that lead to generate what’s best for all.

 

• Equal Money is the necessary tool at an economic level to understand how it possible to equalize these relationships in an accountable/orderly manner to sustain and maintain our lives  in this physical reality where having food, water, shelter, clothing, secure and dignified living environments, healthcare, work/jobs, educational skills and facilities and all the infrastructure of human and material support for this is granted to each other by virtue of recognizing our ability to coexist in means of supporting our assured well being in equality – it is a tool to ensure no abuse is recreated by having the ability to control / have power over others, which is in fact what will guarantee each other’s freedom from enslavement, coercion and subjugation to ‘hierarchical powers.’ Equal Money means the laws of our physical requirements decide what everyone needs to have a successful living.

 

Rewards                                                  

• Freedom will no longer exist as a ‘separate concept’ or a ‘yearning ideal’ to look up to –it will be the very foundation of our  ability to exist as Individuals with Integrity recognizing each other’s Equality as Life, ensuring that our words, thoughts and deeds are always lived and expressed to honor ourselves and every single being, part and particle that coexists with us here on Earth, ensuring that each other’s living requirements are guaranteed by a establishing a system that we can all participate in to generate the necessary means of sustenance in abundance and optimal living quality standards for everyone’s benefit.

 

• Living in Self Honesty is ensuring that we all guard each other’s best interest as our own, this means that no harm or abuse is possible once that we all understand that we all have to contribute to generate the best living environment each one of us want to live in. This ensures no competition, no war, no rivalry or ‘survival of the fittest’ conditions are imposed ever again toward one another –  our freedom is created at a collective level through Self Responsibility, sustainability and equal regard to one another to maintain this  living behavior as an actual state of freedom.

 

• Freedom means no mind control, no slavery, no fear of survival, no subjugation to laws we don’t understand,  no more hierarchical powers, no more legal means of oppression, binding behaviors or illegal operations that lead to a state of insecurity in our world. Instead all the necessary support to Live will be Given and Received in Equality which will generate the certainty of having the best living conditions for our lives to thrive in Equality for ourselves, our children and the generations to come to be born into an actual state of Freedom.

 

No One is Free Until All is Free

Join Us

 

Education is Available here:

• Desteni

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course to Learn how to become part of the Solutions presented here

• Desteni Forum

• Visit the Group Capitalism vs. Equal Money group on Facebook.

• Read the Equal Money Wiki

• Read Economist’s Journey to Life

• For more about Self Education on Words, visit the Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process

• Read the 7 Year Journey To Life blogs

 

 

Blogs:

• 
  

  Day 346: The Global Mind – Scientific Farming

• 
  

  Humanity – Facing Individual and Collective Postponed Consequence: DAY 339:

 

Hear:

• 
  

  The Soul of Money

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 1) – Part 179

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 2) – Part 180

 

Vlogs:

• How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?

• Why Can’t We Get Rid of Money?

• “Will Equality be Forced?”

344. Integrity in Equal Money

 

“It is Essential that Human Integrity as Life Equal be Restored as the Fundamental Rule of Law in this World. Call Out Those that protect Inequality, Become Politically Wise – Install a New Government, through Democracy and Re-Educate the Abusers of Life; in the same way they now keep Millions in the Chains of Inequality – ‘till they Repent and Show through their Actions that they Also Care about Life.”
– Bernard Poolman

 

Continuing:

• 332. Word Policy in Equal Money Capitalism
• 331. What is Best for All in Equal Money Capitalism
• 333. Life = Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 334. Equality in Equal Money Capitalism
• 335. Money in Equal Money Capitalism
• 336. Self Responsibility in Equal Money Capitalism
• 337. Common Sense and Equal Money Capitalism
• 338. What is Equal Money Capitalism?
• 339. Value in Equal Money
• 340. The Imposition of the Symbols of Power
• 341. Why don’t We Get Rid of Money in Equal Money?
• 342.Monetary System in Equal Money Capitalism
• 343. How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?

 

 

 

Problem                                                                

“We’ve become dependent on fear as a survival instinct and so actually fear commonsense and integrity as it is experienced/believed to be a ‘weakness’ – you have to live in fear in order to survive as the law in the matrix goes” – Sunette Spies

 

• The result of our abdication of self responsibility to the laws and mechanisms in which our physical reality visibly operates is expressed in the current organizations and institutions that we have become so ashamed of and continuously complain about, which are the  product of our primordial disregard of ourselves being one and the same organism that is subject to physical laws that enable life to exist. Instead, we created these external entities to become the deposits of our rights that we signed off when agreeing to become part of a system wherein money as our creation meant our ‘indebted access’ to have a dignified living. This means that we lost our integrity the moment that we placed ourselves to be subject to laws that were never equated to guard and ensure a constitution of life in Equality.

 

“You are in this World, because: You Have No Responsibility, No Integrity and because you have Never Cared about Life in the Universe throughout All Time. You are, in a way, in a Prison. A Prison you created for yourself. You’re Not Going to Get out of This one…not here or in the hereafter without facing consequence, taking responsibility for it and changing for oneself and so for all as self.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

• What we face as our current world system is the product and manifestation of our abdication to Life in Equality. What does this mean? That the same system of oppression, or scarcity, of lies, of corruption, of hierarchical structures and imposition of power to generate fear is in fact the mirror of every single relationship that we formed in self interest, seeking for our individual benefit only in separation of ourselves as one and equal. This means that the imposition of ourselves as our Ego, our Mind, our Personalities, our Preferences, our Opinions, our Thoughts, our Emotions and Feelings, our Desires over the Physical matter is what became and exists now as the violation of our own ‘right to life’ where no Self Respect toward ourselves, toward the life that is here as ourselves and in the various Life Forms exists – instead  we have turned each other and this world into assets for our benefit and indiscriminate consumption. Life after life we have lived throughout generations guarding these interests as laws that we enforced to every single child born into our world without a question.

 

• We made of our so-called Free Will and Free Choice that individual ‘course of action’ that determined the ability to abuse one another through the acceptance and allowance of self-interest, superiority and personal satisfaction of security and power over the common well being. Every single word that we have used to denigrate or deify something or someone became the symbols of power that we imposed onto ourselves as a sign of our Inability to See what is Real and Live according to it.

  All the suffering, harm and abuse  as the result  disintegration became a reality when  we imposed meanings, values as experiences over matter and made ourselves subject to it, instead of doing the process the other way around: ourselves becoming the direct beneficiaries of every single word thought and lived as a result of an understanding of ourselves as creators of our reality through the values imposed onto matter and experiences at a mind level, disregarding the physical laws and considerations wherein clearly no spec of matter has been regarded as equal, instead it has been always gauged according to the system of values that serves the Human Mind, the Human Nature that became the accepted and allowed behavior of ourselves as species, indoctrinating every individual to integrate the same patterns generation after generation, wherein some symbols became our gods – like money – and some others became the experiences in which we all got ‘lost’ and confused while missing physical reality, and dare it to call it our ‘human nature’ such as our desire to win, our desire to have more than others, our rejoice in emotions or feelings and any other mind activity that is never evident as an integral part of our physicality, because it is only existent at a mind level, as our creation.

 

• What we regarded as ‘Our Human Nature’ in the form of emotions and feelings became the greatest distractor and consent enter-tamement to not question the laws, the rules, the systems in which we’re living in, but instead merely complied to them as a sign of ‘resignation’ because no one else seemed to be noticing how inherently flawed and wrong the system is, no one dared to question the abuse, the suffering, the poverty, the absolute madness and absurdity of how we bound ourselves to a system of values where money became an abstraction that contains the value of our work to obtain what we require to live – a giving and receiving in separation of an integral equality process, instead we became the embodiments of a an unequal relationship between what dictates in our minds and what our body requires to exist. Therefore it is through our very own laws and belief systems that we enslaved ourselves to what we believed in our minds is real, ignoring physical reality evidence of such facts being true as an inherent part of the matter and the physical.

 

• Our integrity has been non existent from the moment we give our power away as the breath of life to exist in multiple ‘states of mind’ leading ourselves to feel ‘superior’ or ‘inferior’ to the physicality that we are, which is clearly indicating that we’ve always lived in a continuous separation from the integrity of our physical body that is as constant and consistency as the physicality that is nurtured and reconstituted in every singe breath that we take.

 

• Our political system, our monetary system, our economy, our social structures denote the exact opposite of this physical relationship of equality and oneness that we could hold as ourselves and toward one another. This is the physical integrity that we have lacked in our words, which became our laws and eventual authorities wherein we created fictional entities to take care after ourselves. We created our kings, our policemen, our judges, our monetary system, our politicians, because they all represent the violation of our individual right to life in Self Responsibility.

 

 

Solution                                                              

“Integrity and Standing in Reality is Not Determined by a ‘Piece of Paper.’” – Bernard Poolman

• Words that stand as the law of our being of Equality and Oneness, lived and applied as a physical consistency of the recognition of who we are as life are the key and way to ensure that we establish our individual an collective Integrity by our individual decision to live according to that which is best for all.

 

• The process of Self Forgiveness wherein we  take Self Responsibility for the Accepted and Allowed Mind-Nature as thoughts, emotions, feelings  that we have imposed onto ourselves as physical beings is the way to  establish our definitive integrity. This is for us to understand how we created relationships of self diminishment or self aggrandizement in self-interest, causing the tumor as an overgrowth  that indicates the violation of the physical matter of Equality. This Self Forgiveness Process is the key to understand our individual and collective participation in the current outcome we’re living in as our society and world system. This responsibility comes with immediate self-directive solutions that are understood and lived at an individual level to create and establish the Law of our Being in Equality.

 

• Money as the creation and manifestation of such system of self-abuse will also become the solution; this is within the principle of ‘Like Cures Like’ wherein we are determined to make of money a tool that represents this reintegration of Equality and equalize its function to our physical breathing, which means it will become a guaranteed giving and receiving of the resources we require to live, it is an insurance to maintain our physical integrity where all parts are equally supported, which will translate into an  integral society where relationships are formed in an interdependent manner, existing in a one and equal recognition of our responsibility to live. This implies absolute self directive principles to grant each other the right to live that is not ‘demanded,’ but instead founded and created through our collective ability to honor ourselves and each other as equals.

 

• Once that money ceases to exist as the driving force within our lives, actual integrity will emerge in our society which will create new forms of entertainment, of relationships, of social interactions that will be based on mutual support and understanding where no ‘hidden interests’ will exist in an attempt to harm or abuse for personal gain. This means that our ability to stop abuse will form part of our ability to construct this integrity as who we are: no abuse, no harm and no disregard will be accepted or allowed to exist.
  

Rewards                                                  

• Living Self-Integrity is the foundation of a fear-less society where each one’s words can be measured according to the actions lived that generate the Best Living condition for all.  It is the actual consideration, understanding and regard to guard each one’s well being as our own which will result in a mutual honor that has never before been existent in our society toward each part of ourselves as one and equal. 

 

• Self Honesty is the principle in which we recognize that our individual well being is founded upon our ability to respond and act in the best interest of all, which creates the relationships of self support, dignity, respect, compassion and consideration to one another once that we live in a world where another is seen as an equal part of ourselves and no longer someone to fear, abuse, extort or compete against.

 

• The living of our individual Integrity leads to generate the necessary foundation to establish Self Trust within ourselves and toward one another to ensure that no matter where we are, what we say and the decisions we make, we are always acting according to that which is best for all which is the manifestation and living practicality of what Love and Honor should be. This is the key to manifest a heaven on Earth but for that, we have to establish our Self Honesty and Self Forgiveness first – this is the Individual process we’re walking and invite you to participate within the understanding that Education is the first step to understand where, how and why we separated ourselves from life.

 

Education is Available here:

• Desteni

• Desteni Lite Process – Free Online Course to Learn how to become part of the Solutions presented here

• Desteni Forum

• Visit the Group Capitalism vs. Equal Money group on Facebook.

• Read the Equal Money Wiki

• Read Economist’s Journey to Life

• For more about Self Education on Words, visit the Desteni Forum and Desteni I Process

• Read the 7 Year Journey To Life blogs

 

Blogs:

• 
  

  Day 345: The Internet is the Global Mind (Part Four)

 

Hear:

• 
  

  The Soul of Money

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 1) – Part 179

• Living in a World of our Own (Part 2) – Part 180

 

Vlog:

• How are We Going to Change the System to Equal Money?

• Why Can’t We Get Rid of Money?

• “Will Equality be Forced?”