Category Archives: understanding

438. Louder Than Bombs

How to not give up upon ‘losing the passion to live’

 

Louder than bombs Psychological Review

 

I watched a movie called Louder than Bombs (2015) and without getting too much into the plot, the character of the mother/woman that was a war photojournalist was the one that caught my attention because of how she dealt with her personal life and her job, being in the war zone and dealing with the impact that had in her.

 

The character is complex in terms of how she presents her work to others and how it seems she lived it ‘within’, but there was a point that really ‘struck a chord’ within me considering that she had this very diligent commitment to her work with having to go to all of these war zones to take photographs so that they could eventually be center pieces to stories/journalism about such situations, which I had considered at some point doing as well because of also considering that: this helps to open people’s eyes and change the world.  I didn’t end up doing it, but I am profoundly grateful for all those documentary film makers and photojournalists that enable us to see what we would hardly ever get to see firsthand in this world. At least to me, being informed about ‘what goes on in this world’ has benefitted me in expanding my ‘world view’ from only focusing on my life and personal desires to learning to care about others in this same planet as myself.

So in the movie there was one moment where she’s at the airport with her husband, waiting for her next flight and one of her photos shows up in a New York Times’ article to expose the refugee camps in Afghanistan – or something around that – to which the husband tells her  – paraphrasing -‘Hey, this is a great job!’ and she smiles or maybe sees it as ‘mission accomplished’ or as part of her work and who she is, but on the table across she sees a man that looked sort of the ‘business type’ that is also holding an issue of the NYT and when he gets to the page where her photo and report are, he passes on to the next page without even hesitating to read at least a bit into it – or watch the picture closely if anything – and in that moment that she was overlooking at this situation, one could see her eyes suddenly becoming watery or I could imagine her heart going into a knot so to speak for realizing that maybe a lot more would do this, maybe this is how it is with all of her pictures and this kind of articles, showing or proving that: no one really cares. 

This is my entire reading I got from these few seconds that the moment in the movie lasted. Suffice to say that she plunges into a depression, about many things in her life and ends up killing herself.

After watching the movie, I commented to my partner how that moment resonated with me a lot whenever I go into this experience of ‘no one really cares about what we do’ or ‘no one even watches it/reads it, so what’s the point?’ and within that allowing myself to go into this ‘plunging’ point of seeing no point in it. Yet one thing I reminded myself in that moment and the solution I saw was that If she would have done her job as a principle for herself, because it mattered to her, regardless of how many see it or attend her exhibitions, this could have become a point that she gives ‘life’ to, instead of allowing herself to be continually be abased by the situations she encountered or by losing a meaning to it all. When I allow this to take over myself is mostly when being located in the position of the ‘result-demanding’ character so to speak, where I am looking at wanting to have an effect on others, to ‘change the world’ through what one can produce or place out there, while in fact forgetting it is not about ‘others only’ it’s about myself and the decision I’ve made to for example share some audio recordings with a personal perspective I’ve found more supportive when ‘finding my own two feet’ related to the atrocities of ‘world events’ we get to be aware of in the media.

I also saw the potential of myself at some point becoming like that character that plunges so deep into seeing no meaning in anything: her personal life, her work, while witnessing and being sucked into the events she took photographs for, that she ends up killing herself where ‘committing suicide’ is usually seen as a way to ‘end the suffering’ when in fact it is mostly a way to give up from redefining the life that we want to live and instead of seeing ‘no way out’ rather focusing on creating new ways to re-load our lives so to speak and continually be creative to stand in the same principles yet explore new ways in which one can express and live this change or importance that we see in making of this world a better one to the best of our ability, starting with How we live our lives.

Here for those that get to watch or have watched the movie, a practical way in which the photographer could have gotten herself back on track is by stopping her photojournalist trips as she had decided and promised she would, and then focus on getting support to establish better relationships and communication at home, to learn how to deal with her depression. Because, her depressed state eventually affected both of her sons, in turn affecting the kind of decisions that they made in their own lives based on having been affected by seeing their mother in a sad state when she was at home and seeing the problems that the parents had as a couple. Maybe by rekindling the relationship at home, her sons would have had more stable lives, taking the example of not plunging herself into a state of depression or anger or frustration, but rather focusing on getting oneself back on track and so being an example to others around us about it, much could have changed if this was a decision lived by the woman.

One aspect we tend to create is ‘caring too much about others’ and doing justice to others, or wanting to ‘protect’ something or someone out there, yet neglecting our personal lives within this. This is what happened to this character of the photographer in the movie, where she had problems with her husband, she was depressed and not talking about it or seeking solutions, getting to the point of being unfaithful in her marriage ending up just ‘losing it’ and crashing herself in the car. It was funny because in that moment of seeing this while in the movie, my partner timely said ‘remember it’s just a movie, they are just actors’ which was just what I needed to in that moment kind of ‘snap out of it’ and stopping indulging into this personal identification with the whole situation, essentially starting to ‘see myself in her’ and diving into that same ‘plunging’ experience. So definitely next time I’ll be more aware of this ‘getting lost’ into the emotional drive of the story and here to remind myself those words too and to continue watching yet still objectively, using the movie and stories as a point to reflect and introspect about myself  and others in this world as well.

Reflecting on the ‘doing something to depict/portray or reflect state of the world’ – what I’ve found and this we also discussed after the movie is that there is much of an informational saturation these days that surely it is unlikely that one gets the ‘reach’ that one would like currently with common sensical perspectives and essentially non-sensationalist points of view, because that’s what ‘sells’ in this world for now. Very few people have developed a sense of living ‘care’ or ‘consideration’ to be informed about the situations around the world, yet there are some that do, and the more that we continue to participate and contribute to this ‘new culture’ of being informed citizens yet at the same time, learning to take the points back to self as in recognizing and taking our responsibility for the points that we see we can change within ourselves, our minds and in the way that we live, the more we will expand this new awareness or new culture of life that stops feeding the usual ‘conflict-fueled’ mass media.

So this is a practical consideration, a realistic consideration to many of us that may at times hit the ‘black hole’ of seeing ‘no point’ in sharing ourselves or not seeing the ‘desired effect’ of what we do, however if we become that point and reason as to why we do it and remind ourselves of who we decide to be in doing so, we become that 1+ point of change that participates and expresses in our current conflictive culture. Never to underestimate what we do, where we stand or the ‘effect’ one can have in others, but mostly to realize that what truly matters is not the amount of data and information one can imprint on others, but rather sharing how one has changed Within oneself, in our day to day living to align to principles that one wants to see as the new way of living, the new ‘norm’ of how to interact and coexist in this world. Within this I mean that what we do becomes an extension of who we are in it, therefore not falling into the role of the photographer in the movie that upon seeing her photojournalism and work as ‘meaningless’ or not having the desired effect, she took that entirely upon as ‘her definition/ her life’ and instead of stopping doing it and trying out something else, she stopped her profession and shortly after, she stopped her own life with it.

 

As much as this is a reflection upon a character in a movie, it is also a personal reminder of whenever getting sucked into the ‘black hole’ of ‘what’s the point?’ and seeing ‘no point’ in sharing one’s work or creations, to remind myself to be that one point for myself, to stand As It as a point of principle as a declaration of who I am, regardless of who listens/watches it, because this is a form of contribution of a process of change and new perspectives that I am aware and certain can be supportive for others at any point in their lives, where they may go through the same or similar situations and simply extend the support that I have also benefitted from when learning from others facing this and ‘bigger’ points of seeing no point in this entire existence, yet even today still seeing them standing in their decision to see the point in life and giving themselves a purpose to stand as the solutions in this world.

We can never really be short of ways to overcome the problems, what we can be short of at times is the will to create, the commitment to stand as the potential of who we can live and be in this world. And this is also a personal reminder whenever tending to focus only on the mayhem, the death, the destruction, the wars, the violence, the lies, the deception, the suffering  and all that which we have yet to correct in our world, to not see it as this big black hole that sucks us all into oblivion, but to see it for what it is: a consequence that we have to understand in order to learn how to stand under the problem as a ‘fixed’ point, as part of the solution, from the root and cause of it, instead of allowing ourselves to be influenced by the consequences, the ‘tips of the icebergs’ we get in our daily news, and so decide to take the responsibility to understand how those problems ensued, what is it within ourselves that has contributed to the nature of the problem and rather spend the rest of our lives working with ourselves and assisting others in whichever ability we are able to, continuing sharing supportive expressions that consider the context, the people involved, their lives, the context of the world system and essentially learning to ‘trace back’ the problems out there back to ourselves, our human nature, who we have become within our minds and lives that has manifested as the world without and take responsibility for it. Easily said, but takes a continuous  re-commitment to live this, no matter what, so that we can eventually make of our reflections and practical solutions ‘louder than bombs.’

Thanks for reading

 

Learn more about this and Join in:

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


429. What Relationships Can Be In This World

I just remembered how when I was growing up and going through school, I saw the disparity that existed between people. I used to be the one that would always get it ‘all right’ and it truly saddened me to see that others could see themselves as not being able to do something, getting sad and nervous because of not being able to achieve something or perform in something, or perceiving themselves as not good enough or simply truly weren’t able to create a certain outcome for themselves: a project, an exam, a task, understanding some kind of exercise in any subject. In this, within reflecting about what we truly need to create in this world, common sense dictates that it is definitely not a series of relationships based on competition, comparison, wanting to be ‘on top of others’ or deliberately sabotage others in order to perceive oneself to be ‘winning’ – and the same goes for the opposite side where we deliberately sabotage ourselves, set ourselves to lose and become plainly apathetic, angry or depressed about virtually everything, not wanting to live –  instead, I consider that creating relationships of mutual support  is what is needed in our world.

I read the other day someone’s post where they pointed out how there is a ‘life coach for almost everything nowadays,’ which is so in an era where anything can be turned into a business – yes, virtually anything – and so the person concluded  that each one should instead be their own life coach. I wholeheartedly agree on the latter since the whole problem in this world is that we have become blind by our consent and led to the slaughterhouse with tricks and gimmicks that we wholly bought into, because we didn’t know any other form of self-respect – we can forgive ourselves for that… But, the point of applying any form of self-support and self-improvement is to eventually get to a point where one does not depend on any other person to get to see the common sense in any situation, to get to learn to trust oneself, to learn to make decisions, to face the mistakes and consequences, essentially to learn how to live, how to motivate oneself without expecting the carrot on the stick the next moment and reach one’s utmost potential within the consideration and foundation of what is best for all – whichever this potential/expression may be for each person in their lifetime.  

However, throughout these years I learned that we are unfortunately not born with an intrinsic set of abilities, considerations and realizations to become this self-improved version of oneself from the get-go. I wish it was like that, that we had common sensical parents, education systems, families, media, politicians, entertainment and the whole rest of things and people that we are influenced by and consume throughout our lifetime, having little to no reference of how things could be ‘better.’ And if it was so that one we didn’t need  to learn or support ourselves from others, it would be obvious by now: we would not have the mess of the world we have now, let me fine tune that: the mess of the people we have become in this world.

So, I then reflected on myself. Sure, I had some ‘qualities’ that people in the system would have regarded as ‘remarkable’ but none of it was of factual substance, it didn’t benefit anything or anyone but a ‘mark’ on myself and my ego. Any personal success sure felt ‘good’ but at the same time it felt completely contrived, my life was not satisfying even if ‘I had a good life.’ So what was really missing? Well every time I looked around and saw that this reality of ‘success in all’ didn’t exist to everyone, available for everyone, I would get depressed and sad because come on! who the hell can enjoy the sight of misery? No one in their common 5 senses. 

When I started walking this process 8 years ago now, I realized that the much hoped for ‘change in the world’ that I expected to be created or emerge by the hand of some ‘god’ or ‘force of nature’ out there, had to be in fact started by myself, by supporting me and allowing myself to actually be supported by others that were doing the same for themselves. This is in fact the greatest gift I was able to give to myself when it was made available as such – as it is currently now for everyone that wants to support themselves as well – unconditionally, with no second agendas other than applying the principle of what it means to be ‘one and equal’ in fact, of understanding the necessity we all have to stand up, assist ourselves to become the best versions we can be of ourselves and so, change the world.

Would I have been able to immediately, without any help/support, be able to ‘stand up’ within myself and now stand as support for others too?  Absolutely and honestly, no. I was too emotional to have been able to see past those experiences and discover my inner strength, to realize what I was in fact able and capable of being in my life, which has been possible throughout this process which does involve having other people being there for you to assist us, to suggest directions, to remind ourselves of what we may already be aware of at some level but haven’t been paying enough attention to realize that we do have a potential to be this best version we can of ourselves, we just have covered it up with fears, beliefs, judgments, opinions, ideas, distorted and often disrespectful imaginations of ourselves. This is where I realized that I in fact needed that helping hand, and how grateful I am for it because I would not be who I am now If I hadn’t made the decision to walk this process, to actually join a group of self-support and let go of all of my fears or ideas that I had related to ‘being part of a group of self-support’ no matter how hard it was to let go of my idea that ‘I could do it by myself’ too, which I’ve realized is mostly ego at times when I know and have from time to time reference how supportive it always is to have another pair of eyes and ears to reference one’s choices and decisions in life.

What I understood from the first day I decided to in essence walk this process and change my life, is that I wanted to be able to assist in this process of ‘changing the world’ by changing ourselves. I wanted to be part of the team of people that could in the same way that I was being assisted to stand up for once and for all, also assist others in doing the same in their lives. Today me and the same group of people that have walked this process for over 8 years together, were reflecting about how satisfying it is to actually assist oneself and assist others to become ‘the better version of themselves they can be’ or ‘to reach their utmost potential,’ in essence, to become part of that change that we so dearly want to create in this world.

I can honestly say that I had not realized how I am in fact doing what I have been seeking to do since I was a very little girl. I tried helping people with studying and learning stuff, since that’s what I was programmed to be ‘good at’ I guess, but that’s not really something entirely useful for the rest of our lives. Assisting another to actually develop their inherent abilities and qualities to live life to the best of each one’s ability and become an extra-ordinary person is definitely something that is in all sense of the word, priceless and fully satisfying.

So, I mentioned how it would be awesome if we all had relationships in this world that were as supportive as the ones that we have between ourselves as a group of self-support. And the reality is that: we can! We only have to make the decision to do so, all that it takes is first doing this for ourselves, to be humble enough to realize: yes, I require some support, I can benefit from some assistance in learning how to support myself, to direct myself to eventually be trusting myself to not only keep doing this for me, but also extend this support to others. I also understand that some people can have the capacity, skills and general discipline it takes to do this for yourself, to be your own ‘life coach’ if you will: my hats off to them if they truly consider they can do it by themselves… but I can only speak for my life and the situations where I had to be humble enough to realize: I needed some help because I was a bit lost at the time.  And! it is an ongoing process, because it’s a continuous feedback loop to learn from, to nurture ourselves from each other and from whichever each one lives in our day to day.

This is not just buying or paying for a service that you get as a form of therapy, this is not a one person you don’t know that gets to listen to you for hours. I as many others involved in supporting other individuals, in fact walk with one another side by side, as equals in the process  – we do this because we not only understand that everyone at some point in their lives need a hand, need some support, need some guidance, but also because we understand that if we have an ultimate view of this world being able to be something better than what it is now, we don’t have to go that far to try and ‘change the world’ as an unintelligible mess, but to rather take the first steps and start with ourselves, one by one. It is also because it is part of living the principles that I decided to align myself in this life: do onto others as you’d like to be done onto you. And in a more directive manner as it happened to me: do to others what others unconditionally have done in support of you and your life in this world. This is invaluable.

The relationships created with this group of people I work/communicate with are something that I would not change for the world. It is not just a one way ‘coach-trainee’ relationship, it is not a leader-follower relationship, it is beyond that. It is about human beings that decide to assist and support each other for an entire lifetime if needed until the person stands in self-trust and sufficient confidence so that they now can be a pillar of support and assistance to others that are equally willing to assist and support themselves. This is not a facilitator-receiver process only, this is one deciding to get involved with the person in a process where through communication, week after week, throughout years,  a real bond is created, an actual care for another is developed, ensuring that one is there as a point of reference when our compass seems to get a lost and continue to support in the development of all the qualities and skills that each person discovers they can bring forth or create as part of this self-creative path.

This is the process of weaving the relationships, the community, the network of people that are and will continue to change the way that we live in this world, and so change it in fact.  This is the real reward: not money, not recognition, not ‘feeling good’ only for a moment or positive highs, or relationships of monetary interest, not at all. This is the actual creative process for a person to realize who they really are and can be in this life not only for themselves, but for the common good of everyone and everything else, while developing relationships with people from around the world for a lifetime. That’s what real friendships and relationship should be about in my humble opinion.

I dare you to find this out for yourself.

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


428. How to Stop the Despair about the World?

DSC01584

 

There are times when what one is doing toward any form of change doesn’t seem to be enough at all, in fact it can even be perceived as counterproductive or judged by others as useless or harmful. I’ve faced patterns of general ‘alienation’ in relation to seeing a genuine way in which one can create an effect for others as well, but I guess that the point missed is that in focusing too much on ‘doing it out there’ the ‘in here’ is left out of the picture, and what I mean by ‘in here’ is seeing where I am not supporting myself to the point of being the normal stable support for myself and so for others.

What happens is that I started focusing too much ‘out there’ only and being taken aback by the reality of many that are genuinely suffering. We know this world is in dire straits, it is our creation and consequence therefore, we cannot really ‘do much’ about it alone – we have to stand together in a similar stance and perspective to get to fine tune the solutions for the reality we have all co-created. Sometimes witnessing all the suffering in various bits and places and through news, documentaries, personal stories etc. make you want to simply drop everything and just cry like a baby for hours end. I experienced this recently as I had done before, and seeing others going through the same only reminds me that we can never really bring any ‘change’ with more sadness, suffering or emotional outbursts: that certainly does nothing. If anything these experiences are not meant to be judged either, but rather using them as a time to introspect what kind of situations one has allowed to be ‘piled up’ and accumulated to the point where one simply explodes when something apparently ‘bigger’ triggers it all. I’ve noticed I’ve been sighing a lot, as if there was some extra effort in doing things as well, even though I keep at everything, sometimes there’s a perceived ‘loss of meaning to doing things.’

Why would I lose a ‘meaning’ on it? Well because the focus was too ‘outwardly’ shifted instead of first ensuring I can be supporting myself, having clarity on who I am, what I stand for and as such with such inner-stability be able to direct myself in such clarity in my usual doings. The thing is that, when one allows oneself to be affected too much by what’s going on outside, one then becomes part of the drama that takes you down misery lane and it’s kind of hard to get out of it as one keeps repeating the images, the information that created the experience of hopelessness, powerlessness in the first place. First point is to not become a victim of information only and creating an experience about it, but rather understand that we become part of the pile of junk if we keep ourselves in the same gloomy self experience Guiño

 

I know this is a common point for many, specifically those that can conceive themselves as being ‘over sensitive’ about things, which doesn’t mean ‘you care more’ but simply one actually allows oneself to take what’s on the outside and ‘process it’ or ‘digest it’ as something that becomes an internal emotional experience. The world doesn’t need more sufferers, more depressed people or people that have no hope even in their own lives: world needs individuals that can see, understand the problem, that can recognize the responsibility we hold to it and from there seek to join forces with others on the same track so as to create an actual network of solutions and support, THAT is what the world needs. “God hates a coward” is the title of a song, lol,  I’d say Life hates a coward and if one is not truly willing to Stand up for Life and do all that it takes, then one becomes part of the problem, part of the ‘giving up’ ones of which the death realm is filled with, I bet.

 

 

Watch our Hangouts related to this topic!

 

 

 

Times like these are also cool to see where am I giving into other pleasures or plain laziness, where do I refuse to keep expanding myself, where have I become stagnant in my own self support and development? Am I doing enough for myself or do I then make of the world the reason for my own confusion, alienation and general ‘loss of meaning’ in everything which is another way to sugar coat a plain lack of insight and seeing direct as to what it is that I need to put my motivation back on.

 

I’ve been there many times before and it is also true that these hardly engrained patterns that I cultivated for many years won’t be wiped out overnight, it is a continuous process over years until they are no more at all, and more so to learn how to stand up from them every time, to keep doing what one has to do and keep going even if it ‘feels’ like feeding a dead horse… it’s about diligence and consistency and also as Nick Cave says: keep on pushing the sky away, to not wish to be dead and so ‘out of the mess of this world’ and going into extreme anger or apathy or general despair because all of these are only experiences, they too shall pass = they can be worked on an overcome them as we created them.

I would mostly suggest to flag point for myself whenever these experiences come up and instead of going down the memory lane of suffering and why the world is miserable, see directly: what am I resisting to do? Where am I procrastinating my change of ‘experience’ toward something in particular? If I am fed up with the state of the world, then I don’t have to make it my own ‘fedupness’ toward my own life and anything that I do in it. Again, takes some courage to see directly, and the faster the better otherwise one single ‘fall’ if not looked at for some time, can make one feel like one is dragging one’s dead body around, even while trying to act/be normal: we always know when there’s something ‘going on’ within us, and if it’s not health-related then we must know that there is something ‘up there’ that I still want to hold on to and justify one’s experience with.

In past week I came to the conclusion that there can be no real happiness in this world unless we eradicate all fear, all suffering, all hatred, all anger, all abuse in this world – no matter if you have the ‘perfect life’ with the necessary money and giving yourself some treats here and there, it is meaningless, it is shallow, it is pointless because as long as I know there is people that haven’t been ‘fortunate’ enough to have what I have, my ‘happiness’ is a self-interested experience. So, realizing this doesn’t make your life more cheerful or gleeful either, but it grounds you to see what one is focusing on/paying attention to and what one plans to do with one’s life altogether.

From my perspective, as I’ve said it many times, I will do and be with that which is the most supportive for life on Earth, no matter how ‘futile’ it might seem, how questionable sharing something in the vast sea of the internet and endless roads of information can be: I choose to contribute to the growth and support of everyone else that is willing to do the same for themselves than being part of the endless queues that want to desert out of life, which they too would have to be understood as a consequential outflow of all of us not having done enough to give everyone a decent reason to live. I decide to do this for myself and so for any other person that can benefit from it.

 

So, a clear decision is always a lifetime decision – there can be fogs at times and that is ok, it is a momentary reassessment that can take a few days, but eventually it is really so that No One can ‘pull you out of it’ unless You Decide to Walk Out of it Yourself. It is a Doing, not a Thinking.

Let’s keep walking.

 

iPad Wallpaper Template

PS. Artwork and photograph not by me

If you want to learn how to support yourself too:

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


418. Deschooling Ourselves: Why and How to Do it?

 

unlearn rethink

After watching Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves workshop video, I realized how important it is to be aware of how much of ‘who we become’ as a person in our society and in relation to others is shaped in and by the schooling system. To this, it would also be unfair to only look at school as the only one problem there is in our society, because schools were created by us human beings in the first place so there’s a human mind behind it all; albeit for all practical purposes, the idea of ‘education’ and the blind trust that parents confer to the schooling system makes of the schooling system set up the most easy way to actually justify integrating values, beliefs, behaviors, ways of thinking reality, ways of relating to others, ways of survival among one another where we are geared to continually having to prove ourselves to be ‘the best’ or ‘the worst’ in a system of standardized marks.

School is also the place where we come to first get in contact with people of different backgrounds, where our initial social clash begins which leads us to start inherently doing a process of preference over principle, which is how we come to build our very first friendships and relationships, where we as children do not  have a full awareness of us in fact being in a closed-system where one gets to be friends with people that could or could not afford some private/public school, and so already from there, we start classifying ourselves based on our socioeconomic background.

I have to say it is also unfortunately the place where parents place their most trust on within the systemically integrated belief that ‘whatever happens in school is just fine’ and that teachers and the government system behind it as education system ‘knows best’ – while parents mostly see this as some free time from their parental duty – or are deliberately also kept busier with long hours of work which is leading to unattended children growing up in front of TV’s, computers plugged into the myriad of boundless information on the internet and learning tricks about drugs and developing sexual deviances as a way to escape the inherent anguish of living in a world where parents must work 24/7 to get money to live, and where you as a child/youngster will invariably have to end up doing the same… I mean, who would not react to that expectative of one’s ‘future’ in this broken world? Yet we dismiss it and actually have come to blame schools, blame media, blame the government, blame parents and so as you can see blaming each other for the problems we have co-created in our society of which school is one great and pivotal pillar of.

 

robots

 

There’s a complete structural problem in our society and a large part of it has to do with how we haven’t questioned our sacred institutions like schools and the way they exist nowadays, which from my perspective are more like prisons or reformatory cells, they have always been the brewing ground for behavioral conditioning, human experimentation and indoctrination which goes unnoticed within the idea that there’s always an authority that somehow has a ‘greater understanding,’ because we place our trust on systems of validation, certification and quality-proof standards placed by some organization we’ve defined as government, which are a few individuals that have unfortunately proven to be easily bribed to rather arrange laws and regulations in a way where other individuals can be benefitted from it all – either for profit, for further population control or both. All of this apparatus of authority is currently quite skewed of course and it is rather alarming since school is the spot where kids are mandated to go to every single day – yet, even if kids do not go to a school per se, the same principles of it are still embedded in the way that we organize ourselves, in the way that we related with one another, in the way that we value ourselves, in the way that we choose what we want to do with our lives, in the way that we behave with our families and friends. The sheer idea of ‘education’ as it exists now is only a reinforce and catalyzer of essential mind and behavioral patterns that have existed within us as human beings since the beginning of our species, as they are all existent in the very core programming and functioning of our minds. So, what have we done then? We have only perfected the mechanism to make it a continuous mandatory process for kids to get to like/dislike certain things and make decisions based on, well, mostly fear of survival so that we can keep the same slave system mechanism running. But is it really the system that is the enslaving one? Or is it that we haven’t really realized where the real policeman ‘in the head’ resides in? Hint, the answer is already given in that question.

 

In Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves, a group of people walk through and expose all the behaviors, personalities, quirks and fears that they have become throughout their schooling years, wherein either one would stick to the rules and follow or dissent and rebel in whichever way possible, one would start valuing oneself according to the kind of work you deliver to the teacher, another would seek to prove the teacher wrong, another would seek be approved by them, another just wanted to break free and rebel against all rules… this also included some other more personal aspects like  because in school we also have mostly faced some of our most embarrassing or stressing moments.

I’ve shared before about crying over getting lost during math calculation exercise and not being able to keep track of it, getting so anxious that I burst into tears. From my experience, I’ve shared before about the usual pressure one would get when being ‘on the top’ and so having some classmates trying to ‘take me down/take ‘my place’ and directly letting me know how they would win over me and how they would see me fall and be glad for it, etc. All kinds of bullying also comes when being the one that sticks to all rules and does things ‘to the T,’ which to me for example later on became a way to simply dislike being used as an example for the class, which led me to then want to hide while  still wanting to keep my sense of public recognition. This influenced the way I shaped my main personalities: I started to desire being ‘cool’ for any other reason other than getting straight A’s …  and kind of a ‘rebel’ by liking non-popular things so that I could make it clear that I wasn’t ‘the teacher’s pet’ either for example.

All of these patterns are part of a lengthy self-investigative process that is contained in the pages of this blog as I’ve seen that most of the times when investigating any mind pattern, word or behavior, it invariably goes back to one of those ‘memories of schooling days’ and how some of the most ingrained fight or flight patterns, behaviors, attitudes, self-definitions like qualities and virtues, likes and dislikes as well as career choice a.k.a. who I wanted to be and become as a person, were shaped based on the same education system. To me it also involved a process of sharing a room with either 6 other kids in my first school and then moving onto being with over 35 in the following schools and universities, which is already quite a challenge when it comes to seeing how it is virtually impossible for teachers to be truly aware of students in large classes.

School becomes ‘the place’ where we are supposed to ‘find our ground in life’ and so, it’s quite obvious that we only become copies of the copies of stereotypes that we also acquire from the usual imprinting of professions we are supposed to go veering toward from an early age as part of the social-structure – however along with that, we got movies, TV shows imprinting a whole different set of values with which we believe we are in fact ‘making a free choice’ to do what we want, but we have never even questioned whether what ‘we want’ is in fact something we truly developed for ourselves or something we learned from school or saw on TV or internet.

In essence, we have never really been genuinely ‘ourselves’ as all we have become is copy of the copy of the coping and survival mechanisms we’ve shaped as personalities or professions, and that’s what I mostly have realized also when it comes to investigating myself and my ‘core personalities’ and how everything that I developed as ‘my personality’ was a collection of bits and pieces of popular counter-culture aspects along with a decision to antagonize the system no matter what, while remaining ‘safely’ in it at the same time since I would still like to be the obedient straight A person in school, lol, even if I tried to ‘rebel’ at the end… it just would not work as I couldn’t simply fathom myself being irresponsible at school which involved a sense of responsibility of ‘school being the one thing that I had to do as my main activity’ throughout the years.

What is behind that, for example? Fear of being punished, fear of being left behind, fear of losing my self-value and definition? Fear of losing my ‘throne’ as the first one in the class? Well, these points are definitely something that come to define ‘who one is’ based on a particular setting like school, where we actually acquire this way of thinking based on achievements, values, marks, behaviors and responsibilities that lie not within a common sensical practical outcome, but according to doing things the way they are asked to be done and according to a ranking system that is in no way based on the particular skills and abilities that are unique to each child, that is simply not part of our school system.

At the end of that Deschooling workshop by Eisenstein, the ultimate question remains: how to Deschool ourselves? And I simply realized that actually walking this process of self-investigation, of writing oneself to freedom, of developing self-honesty wherein we investigate our core patterns within ourselves is the best way to deschool ourselves, because in investigating our behaviors, our personalities, our fears, our manias, our weaknesses and strengths, our relationships, our friendships, our first traumas, our first embarrassments, our bullying experiences, our relationship to authority, our ability to learn, our qualities and deficiencies, comparison and judgment toward others, our discriminatory or empathic behaviors, our friendships, our enemies… all of these aspects that one actually gets to first live in school – most of the times – are part of what one can write out for oneself, investigating each pattern within the awareness of writing the experience out to identify how is it that one has limited oneself in such pattern.

So for example, if I had continued to only value myself according to what marks I would get in school, and feel ‘bad’ for getting a lower mark, then I would have continued to seek to get some ‘straight A’s’ or the equivalent way to get such ‘superiority validation’ somewhere else in my world, just because of not wanting to get to the opposite side of that and so lose my self-validation/recognition. So I had to work with understanding ‘who am I as recognition’ and the desire thereof, where am I not valuing myself, how have I accepted and allowed myself to only value myself according to achievements at school? Or how have I believed myself to only be a brain that thinks well? Where am I not actually seeing myself beyond this limited valuing perspective and really seeing through a broader potential that I had probably and most likely would not have developed if I had continued to only stick to my personality and personal desires.

So, deschooling ourselves involves a practical and continuous application of walking a process to self-forgive and let go of all the plethora of perceived flaws, definitions, beliefs, limitations, fears and rather work with developing real self-value, real self-acceptance and skills to develop ourselves to our utmost potential. In this, for example, I had to stop the desire to be recognized by others, while at the same time also walking the opposite polarity – because, as one walks one pattern you also get to understand how the mind works in polarities. And so I realized that along with my desire to be recognized, I also got to fear being recognized and so actually sought to ‘hide’ or become a rather ‘low-key’ individual while still holding on this ‘recognition’ point in place, so essentially I would create my own inner conflict which I even externalized in the way that I would dress in a rather extravagant manner while  at the same time using my body’s posture to indicate that I didn’t want to be seen, so I would hunch while walking because I believed that standing straight was ‘showing off’ and only able to be done by good looking girls for example, lol, yes all of this is a fine example of how we pollute our minds in fact.

So, this is just a tip of the iceberg example that one is actually able to investigate for oneself when looking at all the patterns we’ve become in our lives, not only from school but acquired from parents, from people we watch on TV, from the books we read, from the people we admire, from our friends and people around us, etc. As I’ve mentioned, we’ve become the copies of the copies and so the schooling system, the social system has become nothing but a reflection of these categories and identities existent and developed in our minds wherein we get lost in comparison, judgment and the idea of value in relation to ‘who we are’ within the system, all of which actually enables us to coexist within our current dog-eat-dog mentality, where all that matters is achieving personal glory regardless of who or what is abused and affected by it, or ‘collaterally damaged.’

 

I am a product of this society and I’ve had to walk this rather astounding process of deschooling myself,  of deprogramming myself in my mind while at the same time walking a process of self-creation, which is a continued process of self-investigation of every single moment, every single day wherein one continues to assert oneself as the new integration of common sense, of living principles, of a sense of commonality, of a consideration of what’s best for all, of not following an experience as to ‘how I feel’ or how I believe ‘I should feel/be like/act like/talk like’ to dictate who I am in the moment,  wherein it is a continuous process of letting go of any constrains and limitations that I have previously identified through writing, and have released through the process of self-forgiving behaviors, emotions, feelings, thinking patterns, ideas about myself so that I could then practically and actively work on stopping myself from running-through the same old programmed ‘me.’

Now I place my focus on attention on this self-creation process which is truly a first-timer for us all to be able to walk and do, because it is now that we are for the first time becoming more and more aware of things that were deeply rooted in the unconscious before. Now we are able to slowly but surely as humanity able to spot these patterns and behaviors with greater ease, and I have to say that this then a great opportunity and it does rejoice me to see more and more people starting to question themselves, and the overall world-system, which indicates there’s in fact a great opportunity existent here to change the direction of our lives if more and more people start waking up and smelling reality for what it is so that we can work together to correct and align it.

I must also say that when I speak of this process, it isn’t something I do ‘by myself’ nope, it would have been mostly more difficult I’d say – I walk with a group of people networked through the internet – around the globe – with whom we’ve shared our lives,  our writings for over 7 years now, keeping in constant processes of developing and strengthening our communication and feedback processes to ensure that we don’t get lost in this re-educational process we’re walking, which has to do little to nothing to any regular ‘schooling system,’ but we are all more than certain that more individuals must recognize the vital importance of implementing this self-investigation process as part of our schooling system, learning how to work with our minds as our thoughts, feelings, emotions, to learn how to effectively write them out and communicate about them while integrating a sense of self-support through developing common sense: the consideration of what is best for all. 

It is about time we realize that it makes complete sense to actually focus on empowering each other to learn how to best coexist as human beings rather than focusing on being liked by the teacher, or beating our classmates, or planning ways to get into a group of friends to ‘fit in,’ or planning our greatest success where we disregard another’s life of lack of opportunities and suffering that is and has become our collateral damage in this zero sum reality.

It is thus in our greatest and most common interest that we could all walk this self-education process of self-honesty which is a process of self-creation according to living principles to get to develop ourselves to our fullest potential, and so make it part of our educational programs in whichever way they take shape in the (near) future once that we more and more realize how detrimental and even harmful our current standardized type of educational systems are which actually stems from the skewed and misconstrued value systems in our minds.  

So, the best way to deschool ourselves, which is the same as saying the best way to change ourselves is definitely walking the Desteni I Process. There’s no greater set of tools in this world, nor greater group of people that commit themselves to support one another throughout this Journey to Life, to live in dignity and equality. And I can only encourage everyone to try it out for yourself, because if I had aimed at simply wanting to ‘change’ but not really investigating my mind and living patterns to the utmost degree, to really learn how to sweep behind the rug of my memories, my past, my experiences, to understand who am I within my mind and how to practically apply and establish solutions in my day to day living, I would have been equally lost in a constant yearning ‘for change’ but not really knowing how or where to start.

This isn’t an easy thing to do either, it’s probably the greatest commitment we’ll ever make in our lives, which is our commitment to actually learn how to live in the benefit of ourselves and all life considered. However, it will for sure be the most rewarding and long lasting for future generations as well.  

 

Recommend to Read:

Teacher’s Journey To Life

 

Remove the cords - self change -deschooling - desteni

Artwork by Damián Ledesma 

 

 

Recommended to watch:

Hear the Podcasts:

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


415. Transcendence and the Potential of Technology

 

transcendence-movie-poster-johnny-depp-e1392059440733

 

The movie Transcendence shows the potential that exist for technology to be used for the benefit of enhancing our abilities as human beings, improving health care systems, ensuring efficiency and else – or enhancing our abilities as human beings attempting to be omnipresent, all knowing and all powerful gods. As with everything: we are the ones that decide the ways in which something functions. In this, it is also interesting to see how the ‘fear’ toward technology exists in the form of ‘losing our humanity’ which is defined by emotions and feelings that we experience in the mind.

A point we don’t get to often question is the mind itself and whether what we think in our minds is actually supportive for us to live or if we have defined our human nature for the ‘conflictive nature’ as being emotional or sentimental that we have all agreed to be ‘by default.’

There are many people that fear the potential of technology, and I can say that I would have easily fallen prey for the usual fearmongering about it if I hadn’t first questioned why there is a potential of using what we create for either supportive or destructive outcomes. The discourse about the ‘evils’ of technology is diverted when it is explained that ‘Technology/machines will always be controlled by people that want further power/control over others and as such, technology becoming the instrument that perfects such control.’

As anything in this world: everything works according to the starting point we imprint to it, so if our starting point is that of enhancing further control and enslavement, of course technology or money or any other artifact we create for our ‘organization’ as society will be detrimental to our lives. However, if technology, how money is created, how our resources are managed is administrated and built within the consideration of what’s beneficial for everyone, ensuring that there is no ‘one individual’ as a corporation or organism deciding How it functions and for what purpose, then we can genuinely make of our creations something that is beneficial for all. So, it’s really all about our starting point, intention and purpose within everything that we do that defines the outflows, result and consequence of such creation.

 

If anything, the movie Transcendence also reflects our god complex to become all knowing, all powerful individuals and praising knowledge and information as the key to the world – but, just as a machine: without power, it is pointless. What is the power? the power is our own life essence, our own life with which we are able to decide what starting point and principles we endow or embed into our creations.

 

transcendence concept art

 

And if we go deeper into the relationship between the mind/consciousness and the physical which is the substance of life, our potential….

In the movie we get to see one single individual that becomes ‘omnipotent’ in a way, which is what the externalization of our mind actually seeks to do: to know it all, to have control of it all, to be all powerful, to create things in a quantum moment  – instead of realizing that this is actually a rather redundant process because we could in fact be and live in such a way here if we could transcend the mind itself, not ‘externalizing’ it further in the shape of technology, which is the externalization of the mind itself as Marshall McLuhan also explained. For that matter the fact that we can be connected to an invisible network to communicate across the world is only the externalization of the technology that already existed as a unified consciousness field where we would all be connected ‘by default’ in this reality. So everything we have done in an attempt to connect has in fact been the very bridging and linkage that we have required because we haven’t actually realized our own equality and oneness with everything, and so instead, we have created from the starting point of our separation.

 

The movie then depicts our collective god complex, the whole ‘transhumanist’ ideal for humanity, which is like building up a complicated machinery on the outside for something that could be self-directed from within, and that’s something that I assume could/would come later on in our reality, but I bet the potential is here if we would in fact align ourselves to be fully here, as physical beings and not merely existent as mind consciousness system robots that we have become ‘by default,’ never questioning our ‘human nature’ in the mind in the first place. In essence, we could only fear getting controlled by our creations if we didn’t place ourselves as the starting point of such creation – what does that mean?

Everything is ruled by the words that we programmed something and even ourselves with. We can create the instructions, we can create the laws, we can create our thoughts and so direct us to deliberately act and do that which is best for allwhy are we not doing this in everything we do, think and act upon? Because we have allowed ourselves to be run by our own personal machine which is the mind which we have never actually questioned in itself or entirely become the directive principle of. So, some critical thinking skills are first required to question ‘who we are’ and why we are even trying to make ourselves ‘all powerful’ following an ideal/belief of what ‘power’ or ‘superiority’ is and not considering instead the potential that could unleash if instead of trying to be ‘more’ than what we are we drop the ‘ideal’ or pretense and rather focusing on developing our skills and potential as physical individuals.

 

So in this, instead of aiming at reaching a ‘super-powerful’ and ever enhanced human being through having control over nature/the world and creating an over simplified life through technology, why not first questioning the obstacles we have created in our reality to not make of our skills, potential and ability to benefit our lives and that of others, instead of aiming at controlling, abusing, harming others? Everything – no matter how hi-tech or low-tech it is – can be a tool for either build a prison or become the key to our freedom – this begins at a thought level, at a word level and our own volition is the one that can determine what we do with our potential as human beings in this world.

The suggestion is then to always focus on creating ourselves and anything outside of ourselves within the consideration of what is best for all, what is supportive for everyone’s life, what is non-harmful and for the intent of enhancing our lives in this world which we all share – technology then can become a bridge to understand that we can make our world function in a supportive and beneficial way, we just have to learn how to stick to principles and decide to always think, do and use our creative abilities in consideration of all, and not only for the benefit of some.

That’s how we can use our own critical thinking skills to ensure that what we create in our world is founded upon the principle of self-support, self responsibility, what is best for all, no-harm and no-abuse. Then our extensions of our mind as technology can be used for the greater good and within deciding to do so, dispel the current fears around the potential techno-totalitarian society that we are meant to ‘fear’ instead of preventing it by ensuring that we all agree on how to best make use of our technology as our creation and that’s the kind of democratic agreements that we have to focus on, or else we will become subject and imprisoned by our own creation.

We decide

Parasitic Ego

Suggested blog to read:

 

Watch:

 

Hear:

 

Suggest to investigate the mind, who we are as Mind Consciousness Systems to then understand how the technology exists within us already – we just have to define how we use it and for what purpose:

 


403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode

I have previously discussed how it is that we condition ourselves to create/put on a hard veneer in order to – let me be frank – not be fucked with/bullied/attacked by others and how this becomes like a second skin growth to actually make up for an initial experience of being vulnerable or having felt attacked by others words/actions. Here we can see how we condition each other to be constantly expecting the worst from one another, and so becoming the ‘fighters’ in the battlefield that we’ve created of our lives.

There are various reasons for this, one can be survival which is the way we have conditioned ourselves, our human nature to be guarding our own interest out of fear of others taking it away or abusing each other to get the most with the least effort etc. Another one is more related to that ‘attack’ that exists as a violent action toward one another, verbally/psychologically speaking while at the same time having the possibility to escalate to become physical as well. This is how I could see that we begin ‘corrupting’ ourselves0 when taking each others words personally, as a ‘personal attack’ and so create it in the form of bullying or ‘trollism’ as it exists now.

Here I’ll focus on a rather simply form in which I’ve noticed my own ‘defense-mode’ and what are the reasons for it. I’ve been actively participating in answering/interacting on YouTube and forums wherein I have had one of the most vivid evidences of how we can attack each other just for the sake of winning a ‘battle’ in our minds, just for the sake of ‘being right’ and making one another look like ‘an ass’ because ‘they are wrong’ and so in essence co-creating  just another virtual battlefield to breed human hatred or perpetuate the ‘Divide and Conquer’ mind frames which I initially would react to in an emotional way upon reading such denigrating, defaming,, spiteful, violent and even life threatening comments we would get on a daily basis as a result of what we publish, which is all about life in equality, living rights, what is best for everyone, etc.

So, looking back,  this is what I see as a cool ‘training ground’ when it comes to facing the REAL human nature and not only see the one I had believed in  – such as the good nature one – while being locked in my ‘home bubble’ and my limited environment with limited interactions, where I yes certainly did face bullying and backstabbing from ‘friends’ at an early age, prompting me into quite a ‘depression ‘ at the age of 7, 8 because of not being able to fathom such ‘harm’ imposed toward me from another at first, until I had the support from my mother to realize I did not have to take others words/actions personally – which was great support and led me to become rather independent from sheeple mentality while going through school. I did, however, become somewhat defensive in my personality, I could say that yes I had clear principles but a lot of it was also from the starting point of showing ‘others’ that ‘you can’t mess around with me,’ it worked to a certain extent – but what happens when that ‘veneer’ becomes ‘who you are’ and how one dictates one’s every interaction?

 

I see that the defense-mode that I am able to act out upon in one moment actually stems from acting once again based on past experiences/memories where I still place myself in such ‘defense mode’ meaning being ready to be ‘attacked’ from the moment that I, for example,  read a YouTube comment and so, instead of unconditionally reading the words that a person is placing, I already see where I can ‘find the point they are missing out on’ or what they are ‘defending’ or where they are trying to ‘prove me wrong, so that I can ‘point it out back’ and so this is something that I became used to do back in the day where we were certainly first becoming more aware of what each person implied in their words, which has been supportive nonetheless. But I see that I require to now and from here on step down from continuing that mechanism/way; this actually happened to me yesterday where I did thankfully get feedback from the person that I replied to on YouTube saying: “Marlen? I commented because you right on the money!  Thank You!”  The first word as my name with a question mark implying that they probably didn’t understand why I had replied in such a ‘harsh’ manner. And so I realized that I had come through toward him in the same old ‘attack-mode’ and ‘defense-mode’ instead of just seeing where the person is coming with the comment, what I can agree on as that’s our common ground and then expanding a bit on it without having the starting point of ‘proving him wrong’ or judging his very reply for not considering all points that I see but simply focusing on what I can do to assist and support to expand on the points brought up and create a conversation from there.

Assist and support here are the key points, not to ‘defend my point’ or ‘defend my cause’ because that’s what creates the battlefield on YouTube, but rather keeping it simple when answering back and inviting the person to continue the dialogue instead of wanting ‘them’ to ‘change’ all of a sudden toward Me and what I have to say, as that would be me as ego wanting validation/acceptance from others right away. The same point applies when I have deemed others as being ‘defensive’ toward me and so judging others as ‘being on defense mode’/being on attack-mode but it is really only me projecting my perception upon them because I’ve ‘been there/done that too.

 

So the key here is to then when and as I see myself reading comments, reading/hearing another’s words, I assist and support myself to not go into the predisposition of fighting/ attacking another based on the belief/assumption that ‘they are here to attack me first’ and so, instead allow me to read the comment/words unconditionally, without expectations or already ‘sharpening my knife’ to ‘get back at them,’ as I see that within this starting point I perpetuate the conflict and not allow myself to be really HERE with/as the words written/spoken and so be able to interact/reply back within the consideration of what I can learn from what the person is explaining, what I can learn from them, where I see that I agree upon to also reply back and letting the person know I also see that/agree with it.

This implies: Seeing where there is a point where I can share from my own realizations, self investigations and not only from knowledge and information, all of this within the consideration of placing myself in another’s shoes, taking into consideration the words in one YouTube comment, one email, one conversation and ‘walking with’ to expand on a point of cognitive dissonance, misinformation, belief, or an emotional reaction to the points explained, so that I can also point it out in a considerate non-defensive, non-attacking, non-aggressive manner which means explaining to another a point the same way I would want another to explain it to me: with patience, with humbleness and gentleness so as to be able to let the other person know that I do stand as these principles I talk about at all times, this is who I am and this is the consideration, care, gentleness and humbleness toward others that I commit myself to live by when interacting with them, so as to not come through as ‘me having the truth’ or ‘me having to be always right’ but being also willing to see my faults, my mistakes, where I reacted to another’s words and so take responsibility for such reactions myself.

 

So to not go into ‘denial’ of my actions, which is what the vlog was about in fact wherein I received such comment, here I stand directive of such point which opened up yesterday and so I am directing it here, as I see that if I want to create a world of transparency, integrity and trust, I have to be doing just that myself, seeing, realizing, understanding my mistakes, my reactions, investigate where they ‘come from,’ understand them, self forgive them and most importantly, give myself a new direction as to how I am going to be living these corrections from now on whenever I interact with another.

 

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition of ‘having to defend myself’ when replying to YouTube Comments or replying to others’ words whether written or in a conversation, instead of realizing how I perpetuate my own memories of the past and even from my childhood of how I had to be ‘wary’ of people’s words and actions toward me, which is why I became ‘edgy’ as well, not being able to trust others and as I’ve explained before, this is not about ‘trusting others’ but rather trusting me in being able to read/hear words in stability and be able to support myself unconditionally to interact, reply back within the consideration of what is self-supportive both for ‘them’ and ‘myself’ as two or more individuals establishing a communication and settling the way to create a point of communal understanding – not fighting or ‘proving each other right/wrong’

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am in fact perpetuating the current status quo in our relationships where we have focused so much on the winner/loser mentality, the ‘attacker’ and the ‘attacked,’ the bully and the bullied and where we believe that we constantly have to be ‘defending’ ourselves which can only exist if we are ‘coming from’ a starting point of ego as in seeing others as enemies, as ‘the problem,’ as ‘the ignorant ones and oneself being the ‘right one,’ through which we approach another from the vantage point of seeing another as inferior to myself and so believing that I have to ‘educate them’ with ‘what I know’ instead of being actually grateful that there are people that are still willing to reply in a comment to a YouTube video and so be able to hear/get to know what others’ perspectives on a subject and learn from it, see where we still have to ‘align’ our understanding, what are the main points where there is still a point tampering self-realization,  as well as being willing to correct ourselves if necessary and in the possible measure, being able to support and assist another to expand themselves a bit more – maybe point out some aspects they can do further investigation on, other blogs or vlogs to watch/read and so not immediately ‘showing the way out’ when the entire starting point of commenting by the other individual is to precisely establish communication and be able to continue it in the best possible way.

I realize that in our world nothing will be changing if we do not first focus on being able to get to hear /read one another, see where there is a common ground and build it from there, thus no longer existing in the ‘I’ll prove you wrong’ mentality.

 

I also realize that I have to be aware of not seeing myself as ‘the victim’ that is going to be ‘abused/attacked by others’ as in this position of victimization I then justify my ‘getting back at’ others as in ‘having to defend myself’ which is why in this world we, for example, allow the use and existence of guns, because we give into this mentality that ‘I have to protect myself, I have to be armed’ without first investigating why and what causes this abuse in the first place.

 

I realize that I have to stop projecting my past, and my ‘mind-frame’ that I had built around ‘commenting on YouTube’ as in ‘getting myself  into a battlefield’ and instead, read the comments from the starting point of being able to support myself, to learn from another, to see where I can improve my communication, identify and recognize where I wasn’t clear/what I missed and so expand through this communication instead of already wanting to ‘end’ the interaction by placing a comment that could be seen as ‘sparking up reactions’ which previously I had defined as supportive for the person to ‘face themselves’ but, we are in a different stage in our process so I now apply the point of being gentle and supportive with others, the same way that I would like a ‘stranger’ on YouTube to reply to my messages and comments as well, doing to another what I would like to be done unto in the same situation and in all cases for that matter.

 

I commit myself to use the opportunity of interacting with others either through comments on a website, on a forum, on every day conversations/interactions so that I can expand and support myself while at the same time assisting and supporting another, because it is in these seemingly ‘irrelevant’ or ‘small moments’ that actual windows of opportunity exist to ‘connect’ to others and let them also realize that there are solutions, there are people that do not fall into the usual patterns of the divide and conquer mentality, and so this is what I commit myself to living in all aspects of my everyday living and interactions with people from around the globe through the marvelous platform that the Internet is.

 

I commit myself to redirect my judgments upon others being ‘in a defense mode’ and instead be able to in such moments immediately take the point back to self and direct myself toward another in a way wherein I can apply consideration, humbleness, gentleness to place myself in their shoes so that I am able to best support them and expanding ourselves through using words or even behavior, voice tonality that indicates in stability that I am here, I hear you, I understand you, let’s clarify this/let’s expand on this/ have you considered this point about this that you mentioned here? so that it is and becomes a more ‘inviting’ way to continue interacting with another.

 

I commit myself to walk through my own ‘predisposition’ of being in this ‘defense-mode’ so that I can stand here, clear, open, available and willing to communicate and direct another’s questions and sometimes even curiosity and not fall into the ‘attacking-mode’ but to genuinely be able to consider their starting point and so walk-with, instead of walking-against others.

 

I commit my self to live the realization that ‘the enemy’ is really myself and my own assumption, my own mind, my own projections which means that in practicality I am then going to be open to read/hear words without going into reaction, without already ‘preparing’ my artillery to shoot with a barrage of points that have nothing to do with what was initially said either, but to also keep it simple and ‘grow’ the conversation from there.

 

I commit myself to only reply to comments/written and spoken interactions when I have given myself a ‘moment of clarity’ which means when I have breathed and ensured that I am in fact stable, here, that I am taking responsibility for my initial reactions or starting point toward another, and so be more open, willing and available for genuine communication, ensuring I have no interference/noise as my own reactions preventing me from hearing/reading another unconditionally.

 

I commit myself to ‘take back to self’ any judgments I may had toward ‘others’ as ‘them being the attackers’ or ‘them being in a defense-mode’ as in fact, that would mean me reacting in ego towards ego – lol – so the best way to interact with another is to work with the common sense of looking at words themselves, no assumptions, rather asking what they in fact mean if the point is not clear, but generally not jumping into assumptions, not taking my own knowledge, my own ego into consideration when interacting with others, as that’s where the shifts happen and the divide and conquer mentality is re-created, wherein I perceive that another is ‘not the same as myself’ and so I have to ‘prove them wrong’ according to me, which is where the problem exists.

So I instead commit myself to focus on directing the words, the comments, the situation for what it is, devoid of past grudges, preconditioning, preprogramming of ‘how I deal with others that I perceive are attacking me’ as I then live the realization that the ‘attack’ only exists in my mind as memories and experiences that I create when I take another’s words personally or as ‘going against me’ which is the ego-starting point of reading/hearing another, when we ‘take it personally’ instead of realizing that each one’s words relate to oneself only, and so I take self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to in fact become a pillar of support for myself and others which means I cannot judge, I cannot avoid another or see them as ‘less than myself’ or as ‘ignorant’ but instead assist and support myself and others to transcend such limitations of the mind to work with what we have as our statements, see what we can agree upon and expand it from there, as Self Support.

 

So instead I am grateful that this point opened up so I could see what I was doing in this interaction and so be able to give it direction here for once and for all – so, thanks Tyler.

 

7.      Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

 

 

To learn more about taking responsibility for one’s mind, one’s reactions, please visit the following sites and join us in our endeavor too:


399. What is Missing in this World for Real Change?

The Necessity of Living by Principles

Throughout these past 6 and a half years I have embarked myself to understand more about the reality that I live in and that I most certainly was blinded from to be able to understand. Looking back and ‘putting the pieces together’ many of us – if not everyone and some simply don’t like to give ‘much thought’ into it – actually KNOW there is something profoundly wrong or ‘missing’ in our lives and this world. Yes, I also sought answers in some greater purpose, even in some divine and rather metaphysical concepts that I would simply hold on to because it remained as a comfortable lie that I ‘made sense of’ because it was comfortable and really not that challenging either, it was all about waiting and hoping in fact. But, the reality is that this was all the knowledge trap covered at all ‘fronts’ in the reality we live in to not EVER look in the most obvious place, the one that has always been here and that we have blatantly missed while ‘seeking truths’ or ‘seeking ourselves’ out there somewhere else: ourselves.

We are in fact living in a crucial time in our lives where the truth is being revealed behind the Veils to genuinely see the principle that has ruled us all thus far: Evil as the reverse of LIFE. I understand this might be rather an uncomfortable truth but for me it was actually the most supporting thing I could ever do, to be willing to understand that our actual nature as human beings is not that of benevolence, dignity, integrity, solidarity, love or else – and we have the blatant proof of that which is our world which we tend to reduce to a power-hunger game missing out the clue of where it all started in the first place, which is within ourselves, our very nature from which the rest of the world-system as we know it and the way we have enslaved each other to be masters and slaves has in fact emerged from: our own necessity to be controlled and to have such controllers, just because we have abdicated our power all along.

Throughout this process I have worked with – and continue to work on – being able to uncover/dis-cover my true potential that I had sedated and suppressed within personalities, ideas, beliefs of myself of which now I can look back and understand why so many of us still fear to ‘come to the front’ and speak up. Well, for reference of that you can read this blog site you’re on at the moment, I can only briefly say that there’s a massive de-brainwashing to be done in order for us to genuinely start recognizing the Power we all have and yes, ‘power’ as in our ABILITY and CAPACITY to direct ourselves to precisely ‘be the change that we want to see in the world’ which is not a positive-thinking mentality, this IS the Actual Process that it will take for us to genuinely change the foundation of the current ‘world-system’ that we see so ‘far’ from ourselves, not realizing that its very foundation exists/relies and solely exists in the intricacy of every single Though, Emotion and Feeling participation wherein we Allow ourselves to be Governed by the MIND, which is a preprogrammed Consciousness system in which we have only existed as fuzzy-logic survival-mode organic robots from which we have always only learned how to equate our OWN benefit and survival – but never ever learned how to genuinely start consider HOW we affect others with our decisions, our actions, our thoughts.

 

We have beseeched for ‘clues’ for ‘saviors,’ for a ‘good president’ to come and be our MESSiah, well, yes we have gotten ourselves only further down the rabbit hole because we haven’t yet understood one very basic principle: this world wasn’t founded upon the mercy of any god, it is actually ruled by our collective irresponsible ways that have created the reverse of life and as such it is to understand that: Nothing will change unless, I Change, unless We All make a stand and Change within ourselves and so the change in the without will be an outflow of this starting point which is Self-Change.

This is how we bring it all Back to Self and see, ok so what have we been Missing all along? What have we been Dissing all along? Living Principles – look at our culture! It’s plagued with vices, violence, revering death and destruction, consumerism, laziness, apathy, insanity, greed, power, sexual depravity, psychological abuse and the initiation of children to this great Consumerist CULTure wherein we have done everything but learning and fomenting ways of how to Honor ourselves as Living Beings –  that is Nowhere to be found!  not within parental education, in schools, in media, in arts, in politics, in religion, nowhere! Everywhere we have tainted ourselves with the same ILLusions of feelings as benevolence, feeling ‘good’ for doing some charities or believing that to Love Humanity means to ‘wish well’ for everyone, without even realizing why we have had the need to create such words as Love that imply only a fluttering experience in your stomach as a sign that Energy is all that we have in fact become within ourselves and toward another – but not life.

Everywhere I have researched and sought for answers, for a genuine structure of change I only have found further polarized solutions like thinking positively all day and deny ‘all the bad’ in your mind, seeking revenge to ‘the powers that be,’ changing personalities, doing some charity work here and there, be all nice and smiley and hope for better times to come or accept reality ‘as is’…. well, seriously, where are we pretending to get ourselves with that? Nowhere, of course as it’s all based on characters, ideas, self-presentations of ‘who we are’ toward OTHERS and so once again, missing out Who? Ourselves.

We require to have the actual guts and courage to develop some self-honesty along with having a directive structure and understanding of how it is that through one individual making a decision to stand AS and be Consistent and Congruent on the decision to Live by Principles, we become an Actual Revolution in this world, one that has Never existed before because we have always sought ‘solutions’ in the pre-fabricated Hegelian mentality of Thesis-Antithesis and creating the marvelous polarized and prefabricated upgrade of Synthesis. This has been our problem, still thinking within the same MIND-Construct and framework with which we have Created the problems in the same place.

Time to get OUT of the BOX as that’s where the illusion exists, that’s where we are governed by ideas, beliefs, fears, feelings and emotions, history, world-system constructs that we have obediently followed to the T out of fear.

Thinking OUT of the Box implies Living by Principles, doing exactly what you won’t see advertised on the TV, what Isn’t a ‘fashionable trend’ in the media and entertainment,, what would make you feel deeply uncomfortable in the first phases of implementing this as it IS in fact about getting out of our comfort zone, out of the comfort of fears, of resistance to change, or fearing to actually have to step Out of the Box  where we have become obedient slaves and have come to adore as our prison, our own mind – Nothing and no one else but ourselves will cure our Stockholm Syndrome but ourselves.

So, this is why I have decided to walk the process of Living by Principles, where I have come to realize that I must ‘search no further’ for answers, but that the answer exists and resides within me, within the volition to actually become the point of change I sought outside of myself.

Hereby I commit myself to live by the following principles that represent me and many more around the world that have taken this oath to themselves in Equality, as the necessity of recognizing our actual power and so living it for the benefit of everyone in this world and existence, in Equality AS Life.

 

Join us if you agree it’s about time we Think Outside The Box

 

DSC00634

 

The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

1.       Realizing and living my utmost potential

2.       Living by the principle of what is best for all – guiding me in thought, word and deed to always in all ways direct problems to the best possible outcome for all

3.       Living by the principle of self honesty – to ensure I am pure in thought, word and deed: that my within and without is equal and one. Who I am within is who I am without and vice-versa

4.       Self Purification through Writing, Self Forgiveness and Self Application – the action of realizing I am responsible for my own thoughts, words and deeds, to forgive myself for transgressions and change myself to ensure I Take Responsibility for who, what and how I am and through this know that I can trust myself to always be honest with me and so others

5.       Living the principle of Self Responsibility – realizing only I am responsible for what I accept and allow inside of me, my relationships and my outside world and so with this responsibility: only I have the power and ability to change that which I see is compromising who I am, what I live and how this affects others

6.       Realizing that who I am in thought, word and deed affects not only myself – but others as well and so with Self Responsibility in thought, word and deed – I take responsibility for myself and so my relationships to be Self Aware in every moment  and live in such a way that is best for me and so others as well

7.       Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be Self Honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

8.       With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as I would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

9.       Living the principle of self trust – as I commit myself to remain constant in my living of self honesty, self responsibility and self awareness, I stand as an unbending trust that I always in all ways know who I am no matter what I face and that in this I know, as proven in the constancy of my living that I will always honor and stand by what is best for all and so best for me

10.    Making Love Visible – through me not accepting/allowing anything less than my utmost potential, I support those in my life to reach their utmost potential, to love them as I have shown love to myself by gifting to me my utmost potential, the best life/living experience and show others as I have shown myself what it means to LIVE

11.    No one can save you, save yourself – the realization that the tools and principles of Desteni is the guide, but I must walk the path myself. We are here to assist and support each other in this process from Consciousness to Awareness/LIFE and what it means to live – but the process itself, where you are alone with yourself in your own Mind: is walked alone

12.    Not waiting for anything or anyone to take responsibility for me and this world – but that I realize I have created who and how I am in this moment, therefore I have the responsibility to change who and how I am and so the realization that we as a collective created how and what this world is today and so it is the responsibility of the collective to change how and what this world is today

13.    Honoring the life in each person, animal – everything from the great to the small of Earth, that we expand our awareness and responsibility to creating the best possible life for everyone and everything and so ourselves

14.    Relationships as Agreements: individuals coming together using agreements as a platform to one-on-one expand, grow and develop as individuals in life and living to support/assist each other unconditionally to reach their utmost potential where the agreement is a coming together of individuals understanding what it means to stand as equals and to stand as one

15.    Sex as Self Expression – where sex is an united expression between individuals in honor, respect, consideration and regard of each other as equals, two physical bodies uniting in equality and oneness – a merging of two equals as one physically.

16.    Realizing that by the virtue of me being in this world – my responsibility does not only extend to my own Mind / my own Life, but to the minds and lives of everything and everyone of this earth and so my commitment is to extend this awareness to all of humanity to work together and live together to make this world heaven on earth for ourselves and the generations to come

17.    I must in my thoughts, words and deeds – but most importantly in my Living Actions, become a Living Example for others in my world that is noticeable and visible when it comes to the potential of a person to change themselves and so change their world. So that more people can realize how we can change this world, by standing united in our self change within the principle of what is best for all to bring heaven to earth

18.    I am the change I want to see in me and my world – to bring heaven to earth is to bring into being, into living the LIVING PROOF of a PRACTICAL HEAVEN that can be seen and heard in our actions and words. We are the Living Heaven that must come into creation in this Living World.

19.    Through purifying my thoughts, words and deeds – my inner becomes my outer, so I bring into creation me as heaven into earth, realizing it is not enough to ‘see the change / be the change’ – for change to become REAL it must be a constant, consistent living of me through the words I speak and the actions I live visible and noticeable to all in every moment of breath

20.    Realizing that my physical body is my temple – my physical body is the living flesh through which and in which I will bring into being and create / manifest heaven on earth as me in my thoughts, words and deeds and so I honor, respect and regard – nurture and support my physical body as I would nurture and support me as equals: my body is me

21.    We are the change in ourselves and this world we have been waiting for: and so I commit to dedicate myself and my life for each one as all to realize this, as nothing will change if we don’t change in all that we are, within and without

22.    The realization that for me to be able to change myself in thought, word and deed to the most effective living being that I can be and become – I first have to ‘know thyself’ and so commit myself to investigate, introspect and understand how I became who I am today, to prepare the road before me into self creation of a responsible, aware, self honest and trustworthy person for myself and so for all

23.    The realization that for me to be able to contribute to change in this world – I have to get to ‘know thyself’ as this world and so commit myself to research, investigate and introspect the inner and outer workings of this world and align the systems of today to present and give the best possible life for all on Earth

 

Stop Waiting

 

Investigate who we are as a group of people committed to take responsibility for ourselves and so become the foundation for a new world in Equality.


397. Come and Stop Worrying about Money & Children with us

Commentary on the Documentary ‘Come and Worry With Us’ featuring the band ‘Thee Silver Mt. Zion’

 

 

Many times I used to say that ‘Music had saved my life,’ and I never questioned that much about the actual lives that musicians have. I probably was ‘happy’ to imagine that they made a good amount of money to be living well after having so many fans and so many shows but today I got to realize that that’s not the case and in a way it does give me yet another reason to implement a new way of living where no one should ever have to suffer, be existing in constant worry, fear and anxiety that comes from living in plain survival-mode when trying to ‘make it’ in this world in an honest manner, which is impossible in a system that is forged with the idea of success as the ultimate goal and neglecting how it currently is – most of the times – achieved only through the effective abuse and control imposed upon others, which means having to cheat, lie, deceive, be dishonest and selfish to be able to make it ‘that far’ without questioning why it is that not everyone can achieve such ‘high standards’ in the society? Why is there no real equal opportunity? why is this ‘successful living’ rather sold to us as this magnanimous lifestyle that is actually unsustainable if we all had the same ability to live in such a lavish modality – this means: it’s not meant to be part of what real life is meant to be in fact.

The documentary Come Worry With Us is an example of how one of my favorite bands actually live like in terms of ‘lifestyle’ and financial woes with the amount of money they earn, which is certainly a lot less than what I would have expected which my assumption of them being a ‘famous band’ therefore not ever having to worry about paying their bills – and here this should apply to Everyone – but this is specifically to debunk the ideas we also create around ‘the rich and the famous’ where not all ‘famous’ people really make ‘a lot of money’ as one could imagine.

Specifically here Godspeed You! Black Emperor and its offshoot Thee Silver Mount Zion are bands that I could have identified as the perfect soundtrack for everything that I could only probably only paint and try to ‘picture’ in frames: a desolate decadent world that is going down the drain, seeing nothing else but death and destruction and the perfect soundtrack for ‘the end of times,’ as well as being what can be defined as a ‘political band’ when it comes to denouncing warfare and the general deception in the political realm at the moment.  But something changed in the life of the common member of both bands Efrim Menuck: he’s got a child now and so he realized that he had to ‘stop his own cynicism’ about life/the world and himself as now there is a person he’s brought into this world that should grow up to live in a better world than the one he is currently living in. I fully agree with this, and even if I don’t have children, every time I would see pregnant women or know of children being born I would create this inner fear almost sadness for them coming to this world that we are abusing and depleting faster than it could ever ‘replenish’ itself, while doing nothing to stop the ongoing destructive trend.

Human Chains (pic) - Copy

 

 

How many times do we say: ‘we require creating a better future for our kids’? It is saddening to see every single day news and articles of the kind of atrocities that are created toward children just because parents can’t afford taking good care of them – from dumping them on the garbage, abandoning them, giving them to adoption or having to make them work too and support with paying the basic needs at home. If there’s something I could worry about this life is precisely whether the little ones will have clean water to drink, clean air to breathe, whether they will be able to run around the streets and riding bikes and going out to playgrounds… or if they are going to be genuinely supported to their utmost potential at schools, whether their parents will be stable enough to raise them – huge point of concern – whether they are going to be having healthier ways of entertaining themselves, healthier eating habits – which are taught at home/ and through culture – whether they can in fact stop copying the fears, the mentality of the parents, whether they can in any way escape the generational sins that we’ve created in absolute selfishness because we believed that ‘it wasn’t going to be us facing the consequences,’ well, here we are, look around you and within you.

 

I would certainly not want anyone to suffer in this world, yet it is all I could always notice around me, or maybe it’s because it is existent as me and in everyone else: abuse, ignorance to the reality of how we create this world based on our absence of care, of presence to direct ourselves in our lives and relate to each other in a supportive manner.

In my case, all I could ever paint was suffering and I didn’t even know why because I had a good life compared to many that really have no support in this world. I do remember a phase in my life when I was around 9-10 years old where my father had a big problem at work, someone bought a lot of merchandise from him and ran away with it using a bad check – and we were almost broke and hearing about the fact that our house, that patrimony that my father was so proud about as ‘our property’ could be lost – the sheer thought of that frightened me a lot at night, the worry, sadness and frustration from seeing my father so depressed, so down, so worried and so angry as that was the only way he could exert his inner frustration about the legal situation and never ever getting that money back. This affected us all at home and I endured what it was to conform with having the basics and learned how to not to ask for more than what I truly required.

I remember at times thinking that if I didn’t exist any longer they could save the money from my food, my healthcare, my school which was a great effort since it was a good private school, I knew they were doing the effort to secure my future, to give me the best – and I know that every single parent wants the best for their children – but most nowadays cannot afford it at all, no matter how self-willed they have: there is simply no structural support to make those at the bottom of the pyramid scheme to rise. This is structural violence and children are meant to somehow accept that they are born into poverty, that mom and dad have to work 12 hours a day considering the commuting times and so children are raised by daycare employees, by internet and television, by mass-norms at school that are designed to also make them obedient and complacent workers and get to be just like mom and dad: workaholics by necessity, not by choice – or else, there is no guaranteed survival – this is the current violence we are inherently accepting in our everyday living, threatening each other’s life – we have to also recognize we’ve done this to ourselves by leaving the system in the hands of a few.

 

Nowadays I see the direct consequences where I live of how poverty affects families in a very pervasive manner. To me this place is ‘temporary,’ but for many it is the place and environment they are born into, it is the people they will marry and have their children with and also die in until the last days knowing to do nothing else but to work, drink every weekend, have ‘parties’ and pretend that life is fine while going back every Monday to earn the bread with the sweat of their brow the rest of the week, hoping for something or someone like a president to finally change their lives.

The frustration that parents create at work which is based on the threat of losing their job/not making enough money becomes the constant experience that parents then in turn become toward their children, toward their partners and so toward the world: a survivalist mentality that cannot be stable, here, present, enjoying life because of always being tensed, worried and anxious about getting the next paycheck to pay all the bills.

 

Jessica and Efrim discussing finances

Come Worry With Us (2013)

 

We are all currently required to break our illusions behind the usual question of ‘who would you like to be when you grow up?’ and then growing up and realizing that was just a dream, a fantasy, an ideal promoted to us to keep us completely separated from acknowledging the reality: this current world-system is designed to keep dreams on heavy rotation, to keep fueling the hope, the illusions, the wishing and desiring for the most hedonist lifestyle possible, a promised reality that never seems to just manifest into reality and it won’t for sure – nor do I personally consider it should ever, unless we actually work on creating such stability for all and make it sustainable for every other living being in this planet: environment, animals, humans, everyone.

Efrim explains in the documentary how he is part of the last generation that was promised a great future and from there on, we all got the opposite. It’s true, the first year in literature school we got told we were not there to ‘be writers’ and be creative, but to learn the hard-knocks of the science of analyzing literature and how we would barely make a buck with that – in art school we got told the most debasing facts about the poverty-lifestyle one usually goes through when trying to ‘make a living as an artist’ grounding us on how we could not just expect to just ‘be famous’ and earn millions like Hirst overnight. It might seem like a cruel thing to do crushing young adults’ dreams, however it is also the stark nature of the reality we have created for each other.

From there I started questioning a lot about myself, my decision to be an artist – would I make it? What would I have to do to be as ‘big’ as x artist that I admired at the time? And I bet this goes on in the mind of every other person that is taught to aim at the highest peak in a world where the peak is already occupied and not available for everyone else.

 

Does it make sense to live this way? To know we have all of this great potential as human beings and the way we could actually change the entire nature of ourselves and our relationships with one another if we were able to provide us the guaranteed right to live in dignity, to have money to live well if you’d like to dedicate yourself to a non-lucrative profession or arts which is also not a secured ‘job position’ but is dependent on several subjectivities like being liked, being ‘good’ at the eyes of others, being able to relate well to people to make business; getting to be known and published if you are a musician or a writer, or being part of a gallery and not even that guarantees good wages any longer.

 

There is also the point of having children and how that becomes a new primary responsibility for adults where one has to choose between being a parent or being a professional, especially if one is a woman. As an artist, for example, there’s not been such great possibilities to have a breathable life in a world where no more records are being sold, where art is sold only to a few elites and that is a minority of course, where movies and music are being downloaded for free, where people cannot afford to go watch a play, concert or sometimes even go to the movies – instead, all that is promoted is more greed and illusions of power in national TV/ media at home which is still the one point that seems to define what people conceive ‘life’ to be as this idea of ‘fame and fortune’, hence the belief that every person in showbiz should do as well as people on TV – but they don’t, at least not the ones that try and make honest business.

 

 

Some of the artists I enjoy and admire in a way have been able to ‘stay true’ to themselves in a world-system where arts are also another industry and the same abusive policies apply as everywhere else. In this case, music is something that inspired me to begin questioning the system. I began painting while listening to Radiohead’s OK Computer on repeat mode and all their discography became a way to also understand the underlying suffering that I could perceive in everything and everyone but somehow wasn’t that evident to me until 11 years ago when I first began painting. Now it’s very clear to me how this change has to be implemented and I have a clarity to it, to the point where I’ve stopped painting the death and destruction on this world and instead started to investigate, educate myself and begin actively working to promote and establish solutions that not only will benefit artists of course, but that will be a living guarantee for every person that is currently unable to fend for themselves and as such have are unable to develop themselves to become the person they know they all can be. We cannot also continue having honest and principled individuals to ‘adjust’ and ‘align’ to the current skewed mentality of a dog-eat-dog world where worry, fear, stress and paranoia have become everyone’s daily chronic sickness, this is the abuse we are dictating upon each other and it makes no sense at all.

 

This is not the world I want to live in, this is not The Good Life that our parents were once able to have – and some of you younger than me reading this not that for sure – but we have to question why every year that goes by things get worse, wages don’t go up while inflation keeps going up and the majority of the wealth is stacked in the hands of the minority: this is a suicidal machine we are operating here, and we have to stop it before we all sink together in it.

 

I want the children of this world to be able to have parents that can be satisfied with what they do with their lives, that can have sufficient time at home or simply available to be with them without the stress, without the fears, without the depression, without the constant every day nagging thought of what if there is no money tomorrow that I can get today to keep feeding my family? This is the most stressful situation anyone can face: being broke, being homeless, being with exorbitant debts that are usually now even transferred from parents onto children to ensure that one can ‘own’ something in this world, yet this world as the Earth itself didn’t come with such instructions of ‘how to use it’: we created them but so we also live the problem, so we have to understand it and be able to create and propose solutions, which is what we should all focus on if we really want to keep having our joys in life, such as music for example in my case.

9. Seykingumu

 

So, the least I can do to honor myself and those human beings that also see the necessity for change, that collaborate with creating awareness in their own ways such as with art and music and genuinely consider that we can all work together and make things work for everyone, is to dedicate myself and my life to promote the consideration and necessity that we have toward each other, the good life that I would like to give to those that have nurtured me either physically or as a living being in my ability to be inspired and influenced by people that were able to tell me through their words, their musical expression about everything that was wrong in this world, so that I could grow up to take the staff and be that person that they can also get inspiration from: becoming an individual that can promote and present solutions, because we’re all just too fed up to hear about the same problems and complains instead of realizing that through understanding the problem, we can and become aware of how we can make things work for everyone.

And for artists who I see are quite a lot within the realm of social-change and activism, thank you for your inspiration as well because sometimes one can get ‘lost’ in a sea of carelessness and hopelessness about being able to genuinely do any meaningful change in this world, but through our very own words, through the way we live and create, how we interact with others we can become the point of change that many others can then refer to as the proof of how we can direct our lives to a best for all outcome, which also determines how we live and interact with one another.

This principle of giving to others as I would like to receive begins within us, so let’s give the best we would want for ourselves to each other and through doing that, learning how to honor and truly appreciate our lives, instead of living as enemies in a chronic state of war.

 

Time to ‘be the change we want to see in this world’ for sure, but this will also only be fully possible when people are no longer strapped to their working chairs and fearing not having money the next day, therefore support the Living Income Guaranteed, to provide a guaranteed access to living needs when having no means to get an income, get higher wages in your current job/occupation and never again be ashamed of having to take this support as it is and will be our sheer right to life, to stop the paranoia, the fear and the self-abuse that comes when living in survival mode – we can do much better than this.

We are yet to discover who we all can be and become once that we step outside of the current divide and conquered set-up world-system we have (negligibly) created. It’s about time we join our creative efforts upon that which will ensure each other’s ability to create without worrying about money again, which tampers our creative potential.

 

Happiness does not exist yet, we have to construct it.

 

 

Living Principles

 

Suggested read for an in-depth review of the documentary:

 


395. What is Real Empowerment?

 

The Fallacious Archetype of Power

Perdition City

 

The wordpower’ in Spanish is ‘poder’ which means simply ‘can’ / ‘being able to’ and as such it is interesting how we have elevated the word ‘power’ to something beyond ourselves, something that we almost see sitting up high on a throne far away from our reach, we see it as some blinding almighty light that only gods and masters can obtain, and politicians, CEO’s, and elites of this world can control with money. This is how I would see the word ‘power’ before, filled with something ‘extraordinary’ that apparently none of us regular ‘mortals’ have – this is the cognitive dissonance, the fallacy existent within the word at a collective level which is precisely the construct of hierarchy that exists within each one of us.

 

By ‘the construct of hierarchy’ I mean the ability to layer ourselves as human beings in various strata of the super rich and the ‘empowered’ at the top, and then going all the way down to the lower strata: lower middle class to people living in abject poverty.

The sheer acceptance of poverty and the ‘megarich as something ‘normal’ or part of ‘how the world works’ already reveals something: we have created an idea of what ‘power’ implies as the amount of money one can have, which creates the abusive logic of: IF you are not a super rich elite person THEN you are ‘disempowered’ as the ‘power’ is held in the hands of those few ones at the top and only ‘they’ can rule and control and tell us what to do and how to do things…. This is the general belief wherein we become subject to ‘others’ and in this the first point of abuse is precisely not being able to recognize ourselves as equals.

 

 

Guns_and_Angels

 

Now, this is just to place into context the first fallacy: Power means to have LOTS of money, being in a ‘higher position’ where you can control others and abuse something/someone to continue aggrandizing your personal power. So, this is certainly not the definition of power, but the definition of Abuse masked as ‘power’ and ‘success’ and some kind of ‘divine power’ that is ingrained in our minds from thousands of years ago, mind control it is. 

 

This idea of ‘power’ in the form of abuse must be realized for the consequences it has created the moment that we All have given more importance to money itself – which turns into possessions, enslaving others to do the work for you, to be able to control people for personal gain, to deceive, to lie and cheat, to bribe –  in order to advance personal plans for power. So, we’ve also then lived the ‘wrong meaning’ of what success means and as such you can start figuring out how many of the words we had all at some point desired to achieve, were in fact meanings of words that are not entirely supportive for everyone, but instead only glorify our personal interest without considering what is best for everyone else at the same time.

 

What I’ve realized that has happened within ourselves is that because taking control/direction of one’s life involves doing the actual work, the investigation, the discipline to lay out plans and test out ways to genuinely empower oneself and make things work within a supportive context, we all have (un)consciously decided to take the ‘easy route’ wherein a handful of individuals that were noticeably cunning in ways to get the most for themselves by using tricks, deception and lies that ‘sell well’ have been able to make their fortunes based on OUR complacency, our ignorance, our irresponsibility, gullibility and law of the least effort which is precisely the point of disempowerment we have grown into ourselves like the actual cancer that takes us into the mentality of ‘oh well we are never going to be powerful enough like ‘the elite’ to change things, so let’s just keep having a good time’ And in this, we are only accepting the manufactured consent to remain in our own little cages, living in con-fine-ments of houses/rooms where we simply believe that ‘it’s the life I had to live’ / ‘God wanted me to learn these lessons’ / ‘this is how life is/ I simply have to make things work and let things flow’ when in fact all of these are nothing else but excuses and justifications to not stand up for ourselves.

What we haven’t realized is that ‘The Power’ / Our Power in itself is always HERE in and as each one of us in our ability to decide to precisely no longer ‘follow the leader’ but rather questioning the leader, questioning the governments, questioning the entire hierarchical structure we live in, questioning the benefits we have endowed to some within a belief structure called politics, religion, class systems, races, we have to ponder our abilities and restrictions and so within doing that coming to the realization that we’ve bought a great lie wherein we believed all along that ‘we are disempowered’ and so within this,actually disenfranchising ourselves from our living rights –  but we aren’t really, we have just been – let me be frank – too lazy, too apathetic, too idle to take responsibility for making things work and be beneficial not only for ourselves but for everyone else too.

 

Disempowerment toward Politics/Politicians

We accepted and allowed it

A point in my life I’ve felt disempowerment is when witnessing abuse and this is how this word then came up. Within this what I have created is the belief that the point of abuse is ‘so out there, out of my reach’ that ‘I can’t do anything about it’ but this is also an excuse and justification, a fallacy in fact because in this we believe that that which I am witnessing as a point of abuse is ‘outside of myself’ and if we are human beings, we all have a mind, a body and so we can all rather begin realizing that IF another human being was able to commit such abuse THEN I as another human being can investigate, understand such abuse, trace the origin point, source it, understand it and rather learn how it was originated so that I can focus on preventing the situations and accumulation of behaviors, circumstances internally and externally that propitiate a situation of abuse.

A classic point of disempowerment I lived throughout my life was when witnessing and/or getting information about the corruption in politics – hence my ‘loathing politics’ experience – and so believing that those people ‘in power’ were simply doing what they willed themselves to because ‘they could’ because they were in the position to do so, and so this ‘position’ point became the limitation: their money, their knowledge, their relationships, their names, their families, etc. So in this all that I learned to create is anger, aversion and a general desire to ‘have nothing to do with politics’ or with money, or with getting a good position in the system, because ‘I hated it’ but in fact this is what makes us All disempowered, when we already see ourselves wanting to deny that which we see or believe to be ‘too high’ / ‘too far away from my reach to change’.

Furthermore I realized how I created such aversion/hatred toward politics because I realized that instead of political platforms existing to regulate our lives and support everyone as equals, the opposite is what drives politics at the moment. And so, this experience of ‘hatred’ as my emotional reaction for not getting the expected support from politicians and politics in general to support our societies, so that is why it is My responsibility to stop my own experience of hatred that leads to the belief of me being disempowered in my ability to change things, to change the world-system and my reality – little did I know or was aware of how it is that in this moment I actually swallowed the belief that ‘I can’t do anything if I am not in that position of power’ which is the first way in which we go ‘tagging’ ourselves, defining each other as either powerful or disempowered individuals in society, all by the amount of money, of influence, of powerful family relationships,  of studies, of properties etc. all of it consolidating the same fallacious definition of power as an actual abuse upon the rest that do not have equal access to what the ‘empowered’ has.

So,  what I’ve done since then after many years of contempt and aversion and antagonizing and even mocking politicians, I came to focus on my responsibility to change myself first, which means going from this belief of disempowerment to an actual self-empowerment which is nothing else but taking responsibility for myself, for the education that I half-way received about how the world actually functions and getting to see a fuller picture, to understand who really ‘runs the world’ – or what really runs the world as the money-construct – and how the actual way to implement change is through politics. From there I walked an entire process of clearing up the word politics for myself so that I no longer bring up this mental image of men in suits sitting on a chamber of congress making decisions behind closed doors while eating caviar and sipping champagne, abusing women and children and joking about the poor that have fun with bread and circus. So, this means that I started rather investigating what are the actual forces that drive our reality, who are our government, how have ‘they’ been also created as part of an enclosed system of rich and poor,  what is it that we have missed in our reality that we have abdicated our entire organization to a handful that only look after their own benefit, all of this means: where is My responsibility to the world system in fact.

And so upon discovering and understanding some of the greatest lies in our entire history like how money is created and the purpose of our education, what our foods contain, the type of devaluation of dignity that entertainment represents, the warfare industry, the general commodification of life then became a solid starting point for me to realize that I am not really ‘disempowered’ because I can investigate and certainly I can then through understanding the problem also propose solutions, which didn’t come as easy either, because I had to then walk through my very own definitions of ‘value’ and money as as the current representation of the relationship of abuse toward one another, and the rest of the constructs that we have all collectively agreed upon as a ‘default’ point from birth.

So, no one said it is going to be ‘easy’ to actually conduct the changes required due to the time, the effort, the money that is required for it and the group of people that will only make it happen through unity as the real form of empowerment one by one – though the first point is recognizing that ‘I can’ and this is no hopeful-positive thinking political slogan situation just like ‘yes we can’ that have been used to get presidential candidates into office. No. this is about genuinely becoming aware of how we can investigate, understand the problem and so walk it through to a solution beginning with ourselves, which means stopping the patterns of apathy, aversion, hatred, judgment and more so Blame toward ‘those that I believe are in power’

 

So what is real power then?

Power is the ability to recognize that ‘I can’, that ‘I am able,’  that I can direct myself and become an individual that no longer is mentally driven by seeking the kind of abuse (false archetype of power we just discussed) as a form of personal gain called ‘success,’ but instead that I can change myself to become an individual that can demonstrate that the ‘order’ in this world is flawed and that it must be changed – but how can ‘it’ all be changed if we keep living in a bubble called the personal belief of being ‘disempowered’?

In this case, proposing self-education to understand our individual responsibility to our lives and how within doing that we will come to realize that the current system is unsustainable and so, we can also join in with our new awareness to  propose solutions that can change the way we currently live in. So here we are then crossing the line from the ‘disempowered’ member of society that sees ‘no way out’ to the individual that sees that the way out is precisely through recognizing that I Can/ I am Able to understand the problem and so within understanding also conduct changes within ourselves first – and this is very, very important because most of the ‘activism’ that takes place is entirely conducted or ‘aiming’ at ‘changing others’ which is entirely futile really. Isn’t it such a common phrase to say: “be the change that you want to see in the world”? Well, this means apply, live the principles to be and become such change, instead of understanding such phrase as in ‘being the one that demands change’ or some other way to deviate from the point of responsibility.

We can and are able to recognize our power, our ability to change things, which is not really something ‘outside of ourselves’ but recognizing our ability to act according to what we see is and would be best for everyone, which also is what we can also define as taking self-responsibility leading to actual self-empowerment. This is a process where we go recognizing that as we take matters into our own hands, we then go dropping all the fallacies, the deception, the belief systems that we had held ourselves imprisoned by. And it is more than necessary today to begin letting go of this idea and Experience of ‘feeling disempowered’ and instead, rather flag-it and see it as the excuse this word ‘disempowerment’ is and represents to not take responsibility, to not recognize that I CAN Stop and Prevent such point of Abuse within myself by recognizing my equal-capability of understanding the problem/ the point of abuse and directing it toward a solution.

 

If we don’t do this, then who will?

 

We have gotten ourselves to this point because we just were too complacent – too lazy – to actually take our lives into our own hands, but instead we delegated our power, our ‘I can’ for myself in the hands of a few that obviously have abused it tremendously as it had to be, otherwise if they had been benevolent beings that ‘took care of it all,’ then maybe we would have never really even considered how it is ourselves that should take responsibility for ourselves first and foremost and so one by one waking up to this realization, we will live in an actual self-governance, a self-direction, I direct me as my mind and my body to do/conduct and direct myself to prevent/stop this point of abuse and so correct the ways, behaviors, patterns toward a best for all outcome.

This is a process of self creation and self-empowerment is then the ability to recognize that I can, I am able to, and more so recognizing this not as a fleeting moment of positivity, but an actual continued, constant and diligent process of redefining our words such as ‘power’ and live the ‘I can’ and ‘I am able to’ direct myself in reality, seeing where we still believe ‘we can’t’ and so pushing ourselves to really test it out – can’t we really? do we fear something? Is there a reality point, a potential consequence that I could create if I do this? Of course within the current boundaries of what this physical reality implies when it comes to laws of physics and the rest of the system we have to stick to at the moment – all done in a supportive, peaceful, non-aggressive manner – always considering what is best for all which implies: no harm, no abuse.

 

Change isn’t a magical overnight thing, it is a rather long continued process of self-movement to stop and prevent the same patterns of abuse that are manifested consequences of thousands of years! So it is about first becoming such living principle of what it means to live words that are self-supportive and so see how as we share and live with each other, we can go creating agreements that we can physically in real time test out work  to live in a way that is beneficial for all – and so by doing this and living this realization in ‘real time’ then, we actually go empowering ourselves and each other to realize: we actually have the power to change, and that Is empowering.

 

So, it’s time to empower ourselves and each other recognizing that We Can and so lay out the plan on how one is going to live such ability/power every single day to change oneself and live in self-responsibility which then becomes a form of freedom too from the accepted and allowed mind-control belief of ‘we are too little to change’ –Time to grow up!

 

Please read:

Day 409: How to Change this Bloody, Bloody World

Suggested interview:

From Self Victimization to Self Empowerment – 2013 – The Future of Consciousness – Part 38

Self-Empowerment and Expansion with Desteni:

 


394. When Calling out Abuse turns into Abuse itself

When the Offender becomes the Offended

Continuing from:

 

In an attempt to ‘save an animal from suffering’ according to me, I created further consequences which I completely disregarded when I in one moment saw the common sense of feeding a dog that was barking for hours on which I came to find eating his own feces while being short-chained to a pole inside his owner’s house. Little did I consider that I was ‘infringing private property’ when being opened the door by, let’s call it ‘a tenant’ of the owner’s house through which I got access to give food to the dog and so stop him from wailing over hours end. His water covered with a plastic plate and he had begun to lick his own feces to what I believe was to mitigate his hunger.
At the sight of this, I ran to my house and got food for him, gave it to him until I was satisfied that he had stopped wailing/barking asking for food. So, where were the owners? It’s not the first time this happens which is why I decided to ‘take the matter in my own hands’ without realizing that later on I would have the backlash of a threat by the owners, saying I was barging into private property, attacking their child and directly affecting the neighbor that leases the space from the dog owners, who also happens to be a lawyer.

An hour or so afterward  I saw when another member of the house got in and so I ran to tell her how inhumane it is to leave the dog that way and if she would like to be tied to a pole and be so hungry that she would resort to licking her own feces – she agreed it is not. There was a kid with her, around 8-9 years old that is ‘the responsible’ one because he’s got the duty to feed the dog and didn’t feed him because ‘he could not find the scissors.’ I repeated the same thing to him: Would YOU like to be that dog tied to the pole and having no food or water so that you resort to lick and eat your own poo? He said no and so I said then why are you treating your dog that way? Well, apparently the child got scared and complained  to his parents about what I said.

This then turned into a third scenario where I got both parents coming at my door, quite pissed off telling me how dare I talk like that to their child? I repeated the same words, the same expression to them and within the context and reason for it of leaving a dog that certainly has no voice to ask for food without being fed and wailing for hours end to the point where it is unbearable – and I had a live conference starting soon which would come through if he would have remained without eating according to me.

Mother admits ‘You might be right on that’ about not feeding the dog…. BUT! how dare I talk to her child like that? Oh well, I see no problem on that, who else will let the child know the consequences of his irresponsibility if it’s not pointed out by the creators of the child of course, the parents in this case?

 

So here a few points for context. The reality of the matter is that there is an innumerable quantity of beings that are going hungry and just because they don’t bark and wail, I don’t go trying to ‘rescue them.’ The reality is in fact that the noise was so unbearable to me that I reacted to the incessant barking, just like when listening to children being hit and yelled at by the parents next door – but there I cannot go knock the door and ‘save the children’ nor do I want to, because I understand the generational abuse we’ve all become as human beings wherein parents only learn how to ‘educate’ with slaps and screaming at children – but, according to ‘me’ to do this ‘against an animal’ that means an innocent/voiceless individual that cannot have his own lawyer to sue the irresponsible owners for ‘not being fed’ and left alone at home tied with a 50 cms chain to a pole, and so eating his own feces, is simply unacceptable. That is actually the me as the ‘savior’ talking about what I come to become aware of, because this is also happening to human beings and virtually every living being that is being deprived of any form of dignity and living rights, resorting to do the unimaginable just to calm the pain from hunger and finding some form of security – have I then gone and immediately ‘sorted out the problem? No

More so: was my 10 minute visit to the dog to feed him going to solve the problem? No, because I’m not the owner of the dog and as such I have no direct control as to whether he’s going to be fed properly from here on either.

 

What I actually reacted the most is seeing such hideous view of the skinny dog licking his feces, but I would not have known if it hadn’t been initially triggered by the high pitched barking that I was being annoyed with and pondering why is no one seeing what is wrong with him? And yes, it seems it has become part of the ‘soundtrack’ around here wherein it no longer raises questions as to why dogs bark that way – and here it is to realize it is the result of an entire socioeconomic situation where poor/lower class means less ‘education’ about how to educate themselves, their children and consequently how to handle pets/animals and so treating them with the meaning of ‘animal’ which is contextually and culturally accepted as ‘less than’ or less of a living being, which is  perplexing, but I realized this when drawing the parallel between a human and a dog and having people almost not consider at all that the dog is a sentient living being just like themselves …..

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to blame people for being so abusive and inconsiderate to their animals, without placing this situation into context as to  seeing the environment they are living in, the entire socioeconomic and educational context, the information or the lack of it in order to take ‘good care’ of animals wherein I complain about ‘the abuse that others commit unto their animals’ without first considering how it is in fact a collective abuse that I am also a part of as I am also an equal part of everything and everyone that is here

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people as negligent while being angry at them for leaving the dog without any food or accessible water, without realizing that in fact the first trigger was the high pitch barking and that with this sound I was actually first getting annoyed and rather concerned about ‘what could be happening to him that he’s wailing and barking so much?’ which was then in part knowing that he might be hungry, but also wanting him to shut up, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to admit that I actually first got more annoyed by the dog barking than being genuinely concerned about him being unfed as this was only realized afterward when I peeked into the house and saw him licking his feces, which is when I then triggered the anger due to the ‘inconsiderate owners’ that leave their pet to starve – without wanting to draw the parallel for myself to see how I as a member of this humanity, of everything and everyone that is here, I’ve committed the same atrocity in justifying, excusing and accepting the normalcy of poverty, of hunger and of crimes against life that go beyond not providing food to beings, but actually the entire disenfranchisement from each other’s living right to live in dignity, and more so toward the beings we share the Earth with as all the animals that we’ve enslaved for our benefit.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed my self to place myself in the character of ‘the savior’ and the ‘good and righteous one’ wherein I absolutely ignored potential consequences of doing what I believe is ‘right’ without considering the current structure and general considerations of the world-system I am still living into, where all ways of avoiding taking responsibility at a legal manner can be used against me, instead of rather recognizing the fault and remediate it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to after the event happened I said to myself I haven’t learned a thing, I did it again’ because I had previous experiences of seeing animal abuse specifically toward dogs and then confronting their owners, in which I sometimes placed myself in rather risky situations because of not knowing how the ‘owners’ will react to me confronting them with the question of ‘would you like to be treated like that if you were a dog?’ and so, within this I have to once again realize that even if this time I wasn’t with the owners and believing that I was doing a ‘good thing’ by feeding him, even expecting to be ‘thanked’ by the owners, this is only me and my mind because no one really likes to be told about their mistakes and faults, and so it was rather negligent by myself to involve other individuals in this situation without Any regard to the actual consequences, taking others minds into consideration and this went on just because I only considered ‘feeding the dog’ as a ‘good thing’ and so having him shut up as ‘fulfilling my point’ with the situation.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to once again as I was talking to the neighbor, one of the ‘owners’ but not the direct owner of the dog, I went into yelling at the end based on seeing that they didn’t respond in any sort of ‘shame’ or ‘regret’ that I was expecting from them upon hearing that their dog was eating their own feces because he wasn’t fed

I realize that I actually then was attempting to have them react in order to believe that ‘they would feel bad and so learn the lesson to not leave their dog unfed’ – but, the reality is that they seemed to not care that much  about it, and simply responding that no they would not like to be in the dog’s shoes but essentially shutting the door at me, which is why I got yelling and pissed off at them saying I would call to animal services for a legal complain if this went on again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my anger in that moment was justified because ‘they were ignoring me and my complain about THEIR abuse’ which is in fact simply ‘they were ignoring ME’ and so this is why I reacted with anger

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a shocked and rather upset experience when seeing how the owner had taken the point I explained about the dog and how they used it only to come and ‘get back at me’ for apparently attacking their child, which is obviously non sense if by ‘attack’ they mean me asking the boy if he’d like to be tied to a pole and having to eat his feces as food for lacking any real food – within this pondering what can be so shocking about a human doing that if they are allowing their dog to do that, so why are dogs not seen as equals as humans? Not realizing that in this assessment I was rather naively considering that human beings regularly see animals as equals to humans, which is really not the case yet at all, so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get pissed off at the mother of the child when my words were seen as an ‘attack’ because of describing the scene of their dog and placing their son in the position of the dog as a parallel to understand his irresponsibility,  which to me seems like the most normal thing to do, but I ‘forgot’ to consider other human beings’ mentalities where they do not yet see and consider animals as one and equal to human beings and instead parents take any word given to their children very personally, so

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not actually look back at myself and how I once was also a child that was taught to leave dogs outside and really see them as beings I had to consider as inferior even though I actually thought they would also ‘feel’ – which in turn got me into believing that dogs shouldn’t be eating along with humans, dogs shouldn’t be sitting on tables or any other animal for that matter and seeing them as ‘filthy’ because that is what I also as a child got to learn about animals and so also then creating my own superiority and inferiority scheme toward animals myself.

I realize that to me it has taken a long process to be able to equalize myself to animals, to pass from the fear toward animals, the disgust toward animals, to the consideration of animals as equals as myself. Therefore what I’ve also pondered is how by me reacting in such a way toward certain situations of animal abuse, it is me really trying to make up for my previous ideas and beliefs of animals being inferior, filthy, less worthy beings than human beings which is how I was taught to treat animals as well, therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to victimize the dog in an attempt to make the owners feel bad about their dog, without realizing that in this only managing the situation at an emotional level, I am only trying to manipulate people to consider common sense while wanting them to feel bad about it, instead of realizing that I could have explained it within a more stable manner which is where I still have to work on when it comes to seeing a point of abuse and not justifying my anger due to ‘the abuse’ as this will only put people’s guard on and so create an even greater conflict, instead of having managed the situation in a much more subtle and calmed-down manner, which means in stability, pointing out the situation without directly ‘blaming’ them.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my anger toward neighbors based on the abuse that I see that they have imposed onto their dog as a result of what I’ve called negligence and simple carelessness toward their dog, without realizing that I through this judgment I then separate myself from the abuse imposed, not realizing that I have also been negligent toward life in many many forms and ways on a daily basis, even in an unawareness point as I am a part of everything and everyone that is here and this world is nothing else but the equation of abuse that we are all living in and co-existing in because we have are so separated from life itself, that we are barely or not even aware at all of all the consequences and abuse that we cause each other on a daily basis, not only through evident things like leaving over 30 thousand children to starve each day, but the multiple relationships of abuse with which we have ensured we don’t even regard, consider each other as equals to begin with, like money as a belief system that supports inequality and greed for example.

 

I realize that by becoming so enraged with a point of abuse, I am only utilizing it as a point to lash out on my own accumulated anger at the problems, the abuse that I see around here and had accumulated from hearing the neighbors yelling or probably hitting their children, alcohol abuse, no regard toward neighbors, no regard toward having animals in a suitable condition and generally the complacency and law of least effort that I have judged this environment I’m living in with, wherein I continually ‘lose faith in humanity’ when observing at people’s actions, words, bodies, deeds, ways of interacting and so within this building up an unspoken frustration and annoyance about ‘them’ and ‘the world’ without realizing that such experiences only exist within me first and so they are MY responsibility to take care of and stop fueling within me such experiences, and so continue directing myself to be a point of support for any individual that does want to support and assist themselves as myself to become better human beings.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be affected by my environment at the level wherein I act irrationally and not consider all outflows and potential points that could open up by me doing something that ‘I’ have defined as ‘good’ and as something that will benefit a suffering individual, without realizing that in this, I am in fact only looking at me-myself and actually my self-interest because I have only wanted to ensure that I can get the dog quiet and get the environment without so much noise that was coming from various parts, which I have taken as an excuse to get angry at the noise that actually only bothers me in fact, therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be bothered by noises like dogs barking, music from neighbors and so not really being entirely living up to my commitments to remain stable while listening to noises around me, and allowing me to be unsettled when children cry, when dogs bark, when music is on and so going into a victimized state of ‘the environment that annoys me’ instead of realizing that the reactions all stem from me and as such I am the only one that can take responsibility for myself to remain stable without being affected by noises outside.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into guilt within the possibility of the child really feeling attacked by me, and in this realizing that guilt does nothing but instead the actual solution would be to simply let go of it and rather confront the child and explain why I said such words and as such be able to explain that my intention was not that of an attack, but rather of a direct illustration of what his dog was going through just because he couldn’t feed him.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘bash’ myself with all the past 3 memories of talking directly to dog owners about the abuse that I saw they were inflicting on their dogs, wherein I simply believe that ‘I can’t stop myself’ from doing something upon witnessing such dog abuse’ – though, if I look at it closely, this entire reality is in fact the sole manifestation of abuse and harm and neglect toward one another at levels that have become unfortunately invisible to all of us, therefore I realize that I am an equal part of this collective negligence that I’ve simply attached an emotional reaction to in order to make myself the ‘righteous’ one, the one that ‘sees the abuse’ specifically keeping an irregular eye on ‘dogs’ and ‘dog abuse’ without realizing that I am doing nothing really when it comes to first stopping the abuse within myself completely as the emotional reaction upon abuse, and so giving myself a moment to consider the ‘greater perspective’ and the context of such point of ‘abuse’ so that I can consider all the outcomes, possible outflows of me exposing a point of abuse within the confrontation with the owners.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a world where beings can be ‘owned’ and as such being so separate from everything that is here that dogs cannot even be heard or understood by people, which is yet another outflow of us only living in our little bubbles in the mind in self-interest which is then where I see my point of abuse actually still exists in.

 

Here I have to realize that I am in this world system wherein there are greater ways to ‘get back at someone’ for something, rather than doing any real form of ‘justice’ as we haven’t even really lived justice within ourselves as individuals that have a mind and a body that should exist within the alignment and principle of what is best for all, and we haven’t done that at all just yet – therefore, how can I ask such principles and considerations to others if I haven’t yet lived by those myself?

Now, within the context of the abuse toward the dog. It is so, it is a form of abuse however there could have been other ways for me to expose the situation and solve the problem, therefore:

When and as I see myself building up a reaction of annoyance upon hearing the dog barking and wailing and having an experience of frustration and irritation about the dog’s sound – I stop myself, and I breathe – and I practice on remaining stable so as to not make the dog’s sound a ‘noise’ within myself as something ‘disturbing’ and instead focus on how I can rather be stable within me regardless of dogs barking, babies/children crying incessantly or loud music playing around.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to just now think ‘that’s a real challenge’ which in this I am already ‘giving into ‘ failing at my correction and believing that the noises, dogs barking loudly and incessantly, babies crying and children yelling incessantly is something ‘I just cannot stop reacting to’ which is here then believing that my mind and my reactions are more powerful than my ability to remain stable which then is something that I have to commit myself to prove to myself, that I can remain stable even with the most constant sounds around me, which is something I haven’t yet fully committed myself to live by.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define children crying as annoying and irritable, without considering that in fact what I get most reactive about is the behaviors and abuse that triggers it such as parents hitting or yelling at the children – and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react at a situation of parental abuse, without realizing that this is a point that will take time to sort out in humanity as we’ve lived generation after generation with the same patterns and mentality of parents as children’s authority and that ‘education’ equals yelling, hitting, screaming, threatening and instilling fear, which is pretty much the way the entire world system operates wherein we’ve learned that we can only exist within a relationship of oppression and having to obey upon the threat of punishment.

Therefore I realize that I have to stop reacting to any point of abuse either toward animals or children as the most evident forms of abuse that I see around me, because within this I am also singling them out and neglecting the overall abuse that we create and participate in every single day beginning with the participation in the dictatorship of my mind, my experiences and belief systems that affect each other equally, such as the money system, the political system, the self-religion systems and personalities in which we have all abdicated our responsibility to life and instead have kept each other in bubbles, fighting each other instead of realizing that the more we fight and complain and get angry at each other, the more we miss out the point of recognizing a point of abuse as ourselves and so focusing on rather creating ways to make each other aware of the situation, create solutions and recognize equal responsibility to all forms of abuse that we tend to ‘point out’ only toward others, neglecting the fact that it is oneself doing and imposing such abuse, as we are all in fact one and equal.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to go and ‘solve a problem’ wherein I have to  practically go an enter someone else’s house and intend to give food to a dog I don’t know even his eating habit, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am in fact becoming possessed by my urgency to simply ‘get rid of the barking’ which happens in a similar manner when I attempt to go and ask neighbors to shut up, because I have to now consider what invading private property is and the consequences thereof, who I get involved into my desire to ‘solve the problem’ and as such cause them conflicts and potential loss just because of wanting them to be participating in what I see is a ‘good deed’ such as feeding a hungry dog and ignoring even the fact that I was really not allowed in with permission, nor did I consider the fact that the dog could have been allergic to some of the foods I gave him.

Therefore I commit myself to rather first stabilize myself, ensure that I am stable instead of acting based on reaction or wanting to get rid of ‘the annoyance’ – then I can if I see that the dog is barking incessantly, then I can go and knock the door and ask politely if the dog is doing well because I hear him barking and wailing too much. If the owners are not at home, then I simply have to wait and see if they arrive – if not then I can ask other neighbors around to see if they know what to do in such cases or if there is anyone that is allowed to feed the animal. If not, then I would resort to asking the same neighbors to simply give him something to eat, and not enter myself into the house. If this doesn’t work and the situation is going on for several hours then I will call animal services to ask for them as a legal authority to witness the point of abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within me wanting to ‘call out a point of abuse’ I actually also involved others that initially would not have involved themselves in the situation, and all because I heard the dog barking loudly and I wanted some silence because I required to record. I realize that I have to be able to slow myself down even when I am witnessing the most hideous form of abuse going on and to ensure I am not acting based on reaction or desperation and justifying my ‘doing all I can’ due to seeing a point of abuse, as in that I am not measuring the contextual consequences, but only looking within the limited range scope of ‘soothing the animal’s pain’ and also having him shut up, which is the point of self interest that I also commit myself to not react to, and instead place the point of abuse into context, seeing beyond the most ‘obvious’ forms of abused I’ve usually made it ‘normal’ to react to, such as abuse toward children from their parents and abuse toward animals, mostly dogs by their owners.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to charge the word ‘abuse’ as negative and within this charge then justifying any and all actions that I then ‘take on’ in order to stop this point of defined abuse with a negative charge, which means that in this, what I will do to ‘fix the problem’ is charged in a positive manner, without realizing that I am only reacting to the situation at an emotional level and as such not really placing into context the point of abuse and who is involved so that I can first dialogue with people and whoever is involved in the situation, before making the abrupt and rather irresponsible decisions that do have consequences that I had not at all considered, such as people complaining about barging into private property and threatening with a legal case upon this, which is of course another form of instilling fear which is the same fear we have become so used to reacting in order to comply to the roles we have endowed with a form of ‘superiority’ and ‘power’ over others, such as lawyers

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to in the moment when I heard the father saying that he’s a lawyer go into a reaction of fearing consequences if he decides to act upon the situation, not realizing that this fear only comes from the idea of a lawyer and how as a child I would see the lawyers as the defenders of either the ‘bad side’ or ‘the good side’ according to who’s paying them and so, going into later on the whole reaction toward the ‘justice’ that exists in this world where the ones that have the most influences and positions of power are the ones that will most likely decide ‘who is right’ and ‘who’s the culprit’ based on convenience without any real common sense and consideration for the people.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to react with disbelief when it comes to realizing how a point of ‘calling out the abuse on another’ suddenly turned into a potential consequence for me, without realizing that in this I am participating into fear of ‘what will happen’ but also, neglecting the first point of abuse which is what is the main point within this all which is what triggered all the other reactions which is: animal abuse

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have the right to be angry toward animal abuse, not realizing that animals as every other part of this reality and existence are also part of myself, my responsibility and so it is not to see only as ‘certain individuals’ as the culprits within this, but rather understand the relationships of abuse that we’ve created within the very words we speak, and so within the systems we create with which we have allowed ourselves to be directed and controlled by, just because we had all neglected and not even considered taking responsibility for ourselves and our own creation.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to access the memories of previous moments where I witnessed dog abuse and use that as a way to bash me and say how I haven’t changed at all because I still reacted to the dog being abused, without realizing that in this I am neglecting everything else of myself and bashing me because of ‘failing’ at applying myself within the correction of not giving into anger upon witnessing animal abuse – specifically dogs being abused by their owners – and remaining stable – which is then something that I do not have to feel bad about, but simply see where and how I am still missing that moment, that point of stopping myself from wanting to expose the abuse or take the matter into my own hands, as that is essentially also based on solving the abuse so that ‘I’ don’t have to either witness it or ‘feel bad about it’ or be ‘annoyed’ by it, which is then once again proof that I have mostly only cared about that which directly affects me and that it is within this selfishness that the ‘caring for another living being’ also started.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel better’ about myself after feeding the dog, as if that was going to ‘change the dog’s life’ or reality when in fact I gave it from the starting point of wanting him to shut up and so stopping licking his own feces, which is something that still isn’t entirely based on ‘supporting another’ but rather stemming from me and my need for the dog to keep quiet, which is self-interest.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as an authority that can ‘call on’ abuse to others upon witnessing it, without realizing that I haven’t yet become that for myself absolutely and so I am in no way able to be the ‘authority’ toward others and believe that I am ‘doing the right thing’ when my starting point for calling out the abuse is to actually inflict some fear and regret so that they can actually change, therefore I realize that If I create a reaction within people, then there’s less possibility for them to actually listen to that point as they go into defense mode, therefore

When and as I see myself wanting to talk to another about a point of abuse I consider is ‘their responsibility’ I stop and I breathe and I look at how I can approach the situation in a way wherein I place myself in their shoes as well and approach them the way I would like to be approached if  I was the one creating such problem. This doesn’t mean be too condescending either, but simply without the tonality of being demanding and showing anger at them in an attempt to make them feel bad, but rather in a very direct and stable manner point out the abuse, then see if they/we would want to be in the shoes of dogs and so consider that next time they plan on leaving the house – which is then giving context to the abuse and seeing the importance of taking care of animals. I did manage to do this at first but upon seeing their reactions, I then escalated the drama to make them react so

When and as I see myself wanting to see people feeling bad and feel guilty about their actions, I stop and I breathe – I realize that within this I compromise myself upon wanting people to react which in turn I use to escalate the situation by becoming angry ‘at them’ which won’t change the situation at all – therefore I only focus on remaining stable no matter how hideous the situation is, as I now have to take into consideration them, their minds, their ability to ‘get back at me’ if they feel offended as well and so I ensure I do not attack, do not show emotion but simply point out the abuse for what it is in stability.

 

I realize that I might say ‘well they should have known by now how to care about the animal’ but, how many times have I told myself I have to be ‘stable when witnessing animal abuse’ and still fell for the reaction of it and even if I was more stable, still justifying my actions within the context of doing a favor for the owners and the dog and also as an attempt to stop the dog from barking which was the reason why I felt that I could not wait any longer for me to establish proper communication with the owners of the dog.

 

When and as I see myself reacting upon dog abuse /animal abuse,. I stop and I breathe – I commit myself to place this abuse into context and realizing that I have reduced ‘abuse’ to only children and animals, without realizing that it is all our relationships that exist at the moment as they exist are founded upon abuse. Therefore, I commit myself to stop diminishing abuse to a few living beings and instead rather place into context the abuse, how and why it exists, take into consideration other people’s minds, their predictable reactions and really consider all of this before making any decision on what I will do to stop or prevent the situation, otherwise I become part of the chain of abuse wherein my ‘calling out for abuse’ is then seen as an abuse in itself, based on the reaction that I created at the end of my complain, which is how I also realize that emotions will only ever escalate and complicate the problems and offer no solutions at all.

 

Therefore I commit myself to remain stable whenever I witness any point of abuse as I realize that if I react, then I miss out the actual moment to contextualize the point of abuse, see who is involved, assess what I am aiming at doing about it, how I could get potentially affected in a vendetta manner if calling out such abuse and also ensure that as I communicate with those directly involved in the point of abuse, I remain stable and considerate toward their own reactions, their minds, their beliefs, their contexts which I might not be fully looking at, understanding or even conceiving at the moment.

 

I commit myself to mostly practice remaining stable and in self-honesty whenever I hear the dogs barking and wailing incessantly, when children or babies are crying, when loud music is playing as all of these are points that lead to a form of abuse linked to it such as parental abuse with the crying and alcohol/drug abuse with the loud music, which is where I then have to stop judging such habits and behaviors, and instead rather stop my own emotions that are in fact the same source and cause of the emotional experiences and behaviors I am in fact initially reacting about.

 

I realize that yes, any abuse is always self abuse and so reacting with an energetic experiences Is in fact the first abuse – but even if one is stable while ‘calling out the abuse,’ it’s very important to consider the ‘offender’s’ mentality, their possible reactions and also stick to ‘the margin’ when it comes to not getting into people’s houses if not being directly invited in for example and now integrate possible legal consequences within everything that I do as that’s another way in which we have imprisoned ourselves in our system: through a two tier justice system where real crimes against humanity are not even part of the ‘files’ in courts around the world, but have only reduced abuse to the one we see ourselves as human beings being affected by, without realizing that it is actually not about ‘me’ but about everything, everyone, each relationship we form that determines the nature of ‘our ways’ in which we relate to other human beings, animals and this entire world that is equally alive.

 

 

To learn more on how to prevent and stop Self-Abuse, visit:


%d bloggers like this: