Category Archives: woman

397. Come and Stop Worrying about Money & Children with us

Commentary on the Documentary ‘Come and Worry With Us’ featuring the band ‘Thee Silver Mt. Zion’

 

 

Many times I used to say that ‘Music had saved my life,’ and I never questioned that much about the actual lives that musicians have. I probably was ‘happy’ to imagine that they made a good amount of money to be living well after having so many fans and so many shows but today I got to realize that that’s not the case and in a way it does give me yet another reason to implement a new way of living where no one should ever have to suffer, be existing in constant worry, fear and anxiety that comes from living in plain survival-mode when trying to ‘make it’ in this world in an honest manner, which is impossible in a system that is forged with the idea of success as the ultimate goal and neglecting how it currently is – most of the times – achieved only through the effective abuse and control imposed upon others, which means having to cheat, lie, deceive, be dishonest and selfish to be able to make it ‘that far’ without questioning why it is that not everyone can achieve such ‘high standards’ in the society? Why is there no real equal opportunity? why is this ‘successful living’ rather sold to us as this magnanimous lifestyle that is actually unsustainable if we all had the same ability to live in such a lavish modality – this means: it’s not meant to be part of what real life is meant to be in fact.

The documentary Come Worry With Us is an example of how one of my favorite bands actually live like in terms of ‘lifestyle’ and financial woes with the amount of money they earn, which is certainly a lot less than what I would have expected which my assumption of them being a ‘famous band’ therefore not ever having to worry about paying their bills – and here this should apply to Everyone – but this is specifically to debunk the ideas we also create around ‘the rich and the famous’ where not all ‘famous’ people really make ‘a lot of money’ as one could imagine.

Specifically here Godspeed You! Black Emperor and its offshoot Thee Silver Mount Zion are bands that I could have identified as the perfect soundtrack for everything that I could only probably only paint and try to ‘picture’ in frames: a desolate decadent world that is going down the drain, seeing nothing else but death and destruction and the perfect soundtrack for ‘the end of times,’ as well as being what can be defined as a ‘political band’ when it comes to denouncing warfare and the general deception in the political realm at the moment.  But something changed in the life of the common member of both bands Efrim Menuck: he’s got a child now and so he realized that he had to ‘stop his own cynicism’ about life/the world and himself as now there is a person he’s brought into this world that should grow up to live in a better world than the one he is currently living in. I fully agree with this, and even if I don’t have children, every time I would see pregnant women or know of children being born I would create this inner fear almost sadness for them coming to this world that we are abusing and depleting faster than it could ever ‘replenish’ itself, while doing nothing to stop the ongoing destructive trend.

Human Chains (pic) - Copy

 

 

How many times do we say: ‘we require creating a better future for our kids’? It is saddening to see every single day news and articles of the kind of atrocities that are created toward children just because parents can’t afford taking good care of them – from dumping them on the garbage, abandoning them, giving them to adoption or having to make them work too and support with paying the basic needs at home. If there’s something I could worry about this life is precisely whether the little ones will have clean water to drink, clean air to breathe, whether they will be able to run around the streets and riding bikes and going out to playgrounds… or if they are going to be genuinely supported to their utmost potential at schools, whether their parents will be stable enough to raise them – huge point of concern – whether they are going to be having healthier ways of entertaining themselves, healthier eating habits – which are taught at home/ and through culture – whether they can in fact stop copying the fears, the mentality of the parents, whether they can in any way escape the generational sins that we’ve created in absolute selfishness because we believed that ‘it wasn’t going to be us facing the consequences,’ well, here we are, look around you and within you.

 

I would certainly not want anyone to suffer in this world, yet it is all I could always notice around me, or maybe it’s because it is existent as me and in everyone else: abuse, ignorance to the reality of how we create this world based on our absence of care, of presence to direct ourselves in our lives and relate to each other in a supportive manner.

In my case, all I could ever paint was suffering and I didn’t even know why because I had a good life compared to many that really have no support in this world. I do remember a phase in my life when I was around 9-10 years old where my father had a big problem at work, someone bought a lot of merchandise from him and ran away with it using a bad check – and we were almost broke and hearing about the fact that our house, that patrimony that my father was so proud about as ‘our property’ could be lost – the sheer thought of that frightened me a lot at night, the worry, sadness and frustration from seeing my father so depressed, so down, so worried and so angry as that was the only way he could exert his inner frustration about the legal situation and never ever getting that money back. This affected us all at home and I endured what it was to conform with having the basics and learned how to not to ask for more than what I truly required.

I remember at times thinking that if I didn’t exist any longer they could save the money from my food, my healthcare, my school which was a great effort since it was a good private school, I knew they were doing the effort to secure my future, to give me the best – and I know that every single parent wants the best for their children – but most nowadays cannot afford it at all, no matter how self-willed they have: there is simply no structural support to make those at the bottom of the pyramid scheme to rise. This is structural violence and children are meant to somehow accept that they are born into poverty, that mom and dad have to work 12 hours a day considering the commuting times and so children are raised by daycare employees, by internet and television, by mass-norms at school that are designed to also make them obedient and complacent workers and get to be just like mom and dad: workaholics by necessity, not by choice – or else, there is no guaranteed survival – this is the current violence we are inherently accepting in our everyday living, threatening each other’s life – we have to also recognize we’ve done this to ourselves by leaving the system in the hands of a few.

 

Nowadays I see the direct consequences where I live of how poverty affects families in a very pervasive manner. To me this place is ‘temporary,’ but for many it is the place and environment they are born into, it is the people they will marry and have their children with and also die in until the last days knowing to do nothing else but to work, drink every weekend, have ‘parties’ and pretend that life is fine while going back every Monday to earn the bread with the sweat of their brow the rest of the week, hoping for something or someone like a president to finally change their lives.

The frustration that parents create at work which is based on the threat of losing their job/not making enough money becomes the constant experience that parents then in turn become toward their children, toward their partners and so toward the world: a survivalist mentality that cannot be stable, here, present, enjoying life because of always being tensed, worried and anxious about getting the next paycheck to pay all the bills.

 

Jessica and Efrim discussing finances

Come Worry With Us (2013)

 

We are all currently required to break our illusions behind the usual question of ‘who would you like to be when you grow up?’ and then growing up and realizing that was just a dream, a fantasy, an ideal promoted to us to keep us completely separated from acknowledging the reality: this current world-system is designed to keep dreams on heavy rotation, to keep fueling the hope, the illusions, the wishing and desiring for the most hedonist lifestyle possible, a promised reality that never seems to just manifest into reality and it won’t for sure – nor do I personally consider it should ever, unless we actually work on creating such stability for all and make it sustainable for every other living being in this planet: environment, animals, humans, everyone.

Efrim explains in the documentary how he is part of the last generation that was promised a great future and from there on, we all got the opposite. It’s true, the first year in literature school we got told we were not there to ‘be writers’ and be creative, but to learn the hard-knocks of the science of analyzing literature and how we would barely make a buck with that – in art school we got told the most debasing facts about the poverty-lifestyle one usually goes through when trying to ‘make a living as an artist’ grounding us on how we could not just expect to just ‘be famous’ and earn millions like Hirst overnight. It might seem like a cruel thing to do crushing young adults’ dreams, however it is also the stark nature of the reality we have created for each other.

From there I started questioning a lot about myself, my decision to be an artist – would I make it? What would I have to do to be as ‘big’ as x artist that I admired at the time? And I bet this goes on in the mind of every other person that is taught to aim at the highest peak in a world where the peak is already occupied and not available for everyone else.

 

Does it make sense to live this way? To know we have all of this great potential as human beings and the way we could actually change the entire nature of ourselves and our relationships with one another if we were able to provide us the guaranteed right to live in dignity, to have money to live well if you’d like to dedicate yourself to a non-lucrative profession or arts which is also not a secured ‘job position’ but is dependent on several subjectivities like being liked, being ‘good’ at the eyes of others, being able to relate well to people to make business; getting to be known and published if you are a musician or a writer, or being part of a gallery and not even that guarantees good wages any longer.

 

There is also the point of having children and how that becomes a new primary responsibility for adults where one has to choose between being a parent or being a professional, especially if one is a woman. As an artist, for example, there’s not been such great possibilities to have a breathable life in a world where no more records are being sold, where art is sold only to a few elites and that is a minority of course, where movies and music are being downloaded for free, where people cannot afford to go watch a play, concert or sometimes even go to the movies – instead, all that is promoted is more greed and illusions of power in national TV/ media at home which is still the one point that seems to define what people conceive ‘life’ to be as this idea of ‘fame and fortune’, hence the belief that every person in showbiz should do as well as people on TV – but they don’t, at least not the ones that try and make honest business.

 

 

Some of the artists I enjoy and admire in a way have been able to ‘stay true’ to themselves in a world-system where arts are also another industry and the same abusive policies apply as everywhere else. In this case, music is something that inspired me to begin questioning the system. I began painting while listening to Radiohead’s OK Computer on repeat mode and all their discography became a way to also understand the underlying suffering that I could perceive in everything and everyone but somehow wasn’t that evident to me until 11 years ago when I first began painting. Now it’s very clear to me how this change has to be implemented and I have a clarity to it, to the point where I’ve stopped painting the death and destruction on this world and instead started to investigate, educate myself and begin actively working to promote and establish solutions that not only will benefit artists of course, but that will be a living guarantee for every person that is currently unable to fend for themselves and as such have are unable to develop themselves to become the person they know they all can be. We cannot also continue having honest and principled individuals to ‘adjust’ and ‘align’ to the current skewed mentality of a dog-eat-dog world where worry, fear, stress and paranoia have become everyone’s daily chronic sickness, this is the abuse we are dictating upon each other and it makes no sense at all.

 

This is not the world I want to live in, this is not The Good Life that our parents were once able to have – and some of you younger than me reading this not that for sure – but we have to question why every year that goes by things get worse, wages don’t go up while inflation keeps going up and the majority of the wealth is stacked in the hands of the minority: this is a suicidal machine we are operating here, and we have to stop it before we all sink together in it.

 

I want the children of this world to be able to have parents that can be satisfied with what they do with their lives, that can have sufficient time at home or simply available to be with them without the stress, without the fears, without the depression, without the constant every day nagging thought of what if there is no money tomorrow that I can get today to keep feeding my family? This is the most stressful situation anyone can face: being broke, being homeless, being with exorbitant debts that are usually now even transferred from parents onto children to ensure that one can ‘own’ something in this world, yet this world as the Earth itself didn’t come with such instructions of ‘how to use it’: we created them but so we also live the problem, so we have to understand it and be able to create and propose solutions, which is what we should all focus on if we really want to keep having our joys in life, such as music for example in my case.

9. Seykingumu

 

So, the least I can do to honor myself and those human beings that also see the necessity for change, that collaborate with creating awareness in their own ways such as with art and music and genuinely consider that we can all work together and make things work for everyone, is to dedicate myself and my life to promote the consideration and necessity that we have toward each other, the good life that I would like to give to those that have nurtured me either physically or as a living being in my ability to be inspired and influenced by people that were able to tell me through their words, their musical expression about everything that was wrong in this world, so that I could grow up to take the staff and be that person that they can also get inspiration from: becoming an individual that can promote and present solutions, because we’re all just too fed up to hear about the same problems and complains instead of realizing that through understanding the problem, we can and become aware of how we can make things work for everyone.

And for artists who I see are quite a lot within the realm of social-change and activism, thank you for your inspiration as well because sometimes one can get ‘lost’ in a sea of carelessness and hopelessness about being able to genuinely do any meaningful change in this world, but through our very own words, through the way we live and create, how we interact with others we can become the point of change that many others can then refer to as the proof of how we can direct our lives to a best for all outcome, which also determines how we live and interact with one another.

This principle of giving to others as I would like to receive begins within us, so let’s give the best we would want for ourselves to each other and through doing that, learning how to honor and truly appreciate our lives, instead of living as enemies in a chronic state of war.

 

Time to ‘be the change we want to see in this world’ for sure, but this will also only be fully possible when people are no longer strapped to their working chairs and fearing not having money the next day, therefore support the Living Income Guaranteed, to provide a guaranteed access to living needs when having no means to get an income, get higher wages in your current job/occupation and never again be ashamed of having to take this support as it is and will be our sheer right to life, to stop the paranoia, the fear and the self-abuse that comes when living in survival mode – we can do much better than this.

We are yet to discover who we all can be and become once that we step outside of the current divide and conquered set-up world-system we have (negligibly) created. It’s about time we join our creative efforts upon that which will ensure each other’s ability to create without worrying about money again, which tampers our creative potential.

 

Happiness does not exist yet, we have to construct it.

 

 

Living Principles

 

Suggested read for an in-depth review of the documentary:

 

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351. The Problem of Human Nature and Equal Money

 

Human Nature  is the actual source of the problem in this world – by this we refer to the traits that exist as self interest in our minds with which we separate ourselves from the physical common sense of Equality as Life. It is about time we understand that it is not only the Environment that is the problem that shapes Human Behavior, but instead realize how we have created such environment as the image and likeness of our mind.

Continuing:

 

 

Problem                                                                

“Human nature refers to the distinguishing characteristics, including ways of thinking, feeling and acting, that humans tend to have naturally, i.e. independently of the influence of culture. The questions of what these characteristics are, what causes them, and how fixed human nature is, are amongst the oldest and most important questions in western philosophy. These questions have particularly important implications in ethics, politics, and theology. This is partly because human nature can be regarded as both a source of norms of conduct or ways of life, as well as presenting obstacles or constraints on living a good life. The complex implications of such questions are also dealt with in art and literature, while the multiple branches of the Humanities together form an important domain of inquiry into human nature, and the question of what it means to be human.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_nature

 

  • Human Nature is the most common excuse that we as humans use in order to justify that it is impossible to change the world, because ‘human nature’ is just ‘who we are/ how we are/ what we do and how we will always continue to be’ this has become the perfect way to keep people at bay and not attempt to question and change their own lives, and the lives of others because, once this human nature premise is accepted as an irreparable conduct, any solution to the problems of this world will only be sought outside of ourselves, keeping this inherent ‘nature’ intact and unquestioned, because ‘that which makes us human’ such as emotions, feelings and a strong sense of self-importance above others is ‘who we are and have always been.’  All that is recognized is that we have always been greedy, envious, selfish, egotistical beings that are always seeking to better ourselves upon others, always competing, having no sense of social responsibility,  always hungry for power and wealth to have control over others without realizing it is all done in the name of fear; this sociopathic behavior has been accepted as who we ‘are’ by default and it’s often believed to only be the consequence of the environment, but it isn’t.

 

  • It is only now that we are able to understand the mind that we realize how it is that we have created the environment as a result of all of these human traits that are the origin of the nature of our societies and power structures alike. We believe it is only the nature of some ‘vile’ individuals  that have set up this massive prison, but it is not true, we built it ourselves through our own Accepted and Allowed nature with no intention to question it or change it. Instead we glorified it through our mutual acceptance of the excuse ‘But I am only human’ and ‘In the end I am human and make mistakes/ become emotional’ and even got to praise these mind experiences through  artistic demonstrations wherein all the human is able to create from the starting point of being an individual with an eternal inner conflict between emotions, feelings and the real world. This became part of the universal traits that we  only learned we had to learn how to ‘cope with.’ It is within such belief and acceptance that we have created our absolute enslavement by our own mind and hands.
    • To Understand the nature of the Mind, it is important to study the Desteni Material, an investigation for over 7  years about the actual systematic nature of the mind that has been unknown to ourselves until now. You can visit the Desteni Articles to begin reading part of this continuous investigation.

 

  • Human Nature  can’t be changed” –  this is  a mind definition with no awareness of who we are as the mind, who we are as a physical body, our beingness and our relationship with this physical existence throughout time;  we have always accepted and allowed ourselves to say ‘it is how it always has been’ and in that prevent anyone from actually beginning to question that which we have always taken for granted, which is our ability to think, to become emotional, to create value systems and create relationships based on individual self interest.  We can look at how even the ability to question these ‘traits’ is already seen as something that is threatening to our nature, to ‘that which makes us humans’ which means that we have reduced ourselves to only be emotional and feeling energetic systems that act in self interest with no regard to the physical laws that govern our reality and our own physical stability. It is certain that if in our minds we regarded ourselves as physical beings that have the same attributes as everyone else – such as a physical body requiring food, water, shelter, clothing, etc. – the ability to understand Equality would be greater, however this is not so and this explains to what extent we are literally brainwashed ourselves to not recognize that all points of ‘individuality’ as preferences, characters, emotional traits are only but mind configurations that generate the first obstacle to recognize each other as Equals in the physical common sensical meaning of the word. We could create an entire treaty on human nature, but for that I suggest reading the blogs as well as the Desteni Material to understand more about who we are as the Mind, our Nature and how to reflect ourselves upon the words contained in these websites:

 

  • The fact is that there are very few aspects about the nature of the mind generally known by humanity at this stage with regards to our creation and origin, our purpose in this reality. Even psychology as the science that is supposed to study the nature of the mind and behavior of the human being is only existing as a coping mechanism to deal with  ‘human nature’ or simply redirect the usual human traits mentioned earlier, but there has never been an actual re-educational process at an individual level to prove that through getting to know ourselves as our mind as the ability to recognize all the patterns that have led us to the current consequences we’re facing in our world and reality, and establishing a Principle to live by in common sense as what is Best for All we can become a human being that stops existing in the same full acceptance to our mind as ‘who we are’ and start living as an individual that begins to understand how we can only ensure our personal well being if we ensure each other’s well being in Equality.

 

  • We have become the victims of our own beliefs and experiences in this reality – we created gods or systems to take care of ourselves, delegating any responsibility to never realize that it was in fact us that created the very prison we now complain about; this prison exists at a Mind Level which we eventually externalized as the nature of our world system and environment. We can have to look at how the inequality existent in this world is the result of every single inferiority and superiority belief or complex that we believe is ‘real’ and ‘who we are’ and what we have a ‘right to live by,’ which are nothing but accepted and allowed beliefs, ideas and perceptions we have of ourselves in relation to other human beings; for example, we can look at  how we envy others fortune, good looks or personalities and then think that such inner experience and opinion upon others has no effect on the ‘outside world’ – well, it obviously does and every single thought, action/ inaction and spoken or kept quiet word has an effect on everything and everyone in our reality, because we are all coexisting in the same physical reality where every single relationship we form toward another reflects on the mechanisms that run our lives in the ‘greater picture’ as our world system. This means that the environment, the systems, the agreements, the unspoken rules with which we direct ourselves are directly stemming from these accepted and allowed self beliefs on multiple levels that have gotten ourselves to exist the way we do now where we are fearing each other in a constant manner, we are fighting and competing to every other individual that we conceive as an enemy of sorts in this world and reality that we have turned into a battle field where life has been reduced to a winning or losing situation.

 

 

  • The problem is self evident every time that we study the laws, policies, constitutions and ‘behavioral codes’ existent in every organization, institution and system that defines how we live our lives where No life is actually considered, but only interests are kept safe from other only those that have the most money have the ability to protect themselves, and for the most part they are used to make money when it is convenient to allege that there is some form of infringement happening so that these individual interests above the rest are always the ones that are considered first – this means there is no common sense or any sense of honoring life in our legal and political systems, because we have created the world system in such a way that our interests are ‘mutually exclusive’ which makes Equality impossible when pondering self interest over common sense.

 

  • When a new living system where we can all live as Equals is presented and proposed, the usual comments point out that ‘we as humans will always want more than others’ and how ‘there will always be someone that wants to take control of the situation’ and this is why we have created world systems that enable this abuse. Is this preventable? Yes it is, and this is part of the primary premises that must be considered when looking at a process to Change the World in a practical and viable manner. At the moment none of these considerations exist because we have disregarded to look at the root and cause of the ‘problem in the system’ which is within each one of us, in our mind, in our own behavior and preferences that override common sense – this is what creates the environment as a reflection of this nature wherein only individual interests are cared for, and any regard to consider everyone as Equals is seen as a threat to this individuality that is protected and guarded mostly with money at the moment. This means that we in fact fear having ‘the same as everyone else’ because of our belief that it is okay for us to want more than what we have, and aspire to have control over others for our own benefit. The current individual interests that we exist as are founded upon abuse, because every time that only the interests of a few are guarded we must know that the majority will be disregarded and abused to create such well being for only a few, which is what has happened throughout history.

 

  • We cannot just blame the environment and victimize ourselves for the nature of the people that govern us.  They are equal to us and everyone else that has accepted the mind-experience of thinking, desiring and experiencing belief systems to be real which is how the power that we have agreed to endow to them is legitimized through our own acceptance and allowance of this nature as ‘normal’ to human beings. This resides as the acceptance of ‘who we are’ and how we have understood each other to be throughout generations where we never questioned why some individuals had more money/power/influence over the population than others and how we shaped the system in itself to adopt these type of facts as ‘true,’ which became the very laws that currently conduct our lives.

 

 

To be continued with Solutions and Rewards in the following post… 

 

 

 

 

 

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334. Equality in Equal Money Capitalism

Inequality is concept originated in the best interest of who we are as the Mind that disregards physical evidence of our equal requirements to live, to justify why we can transform each other and the resources as means to enhance our lifestyles as the expense of others, creating the legal means to justify Why some are entitled to have More than others. In this we’ve made of knowledge and information a criminal code of behavior accepted as  ‘the way the world functions’ which is applied to everyone on Earth, without ever questioning the starting point of such decisions and if they were in fact based on establishing a world that’s Best for All. Our reality proves they were not, and it is our responsibility to ensure we establish the living principle of Equality as Life to provide to everyone the ability to Live in the Best Living Condition granted to everyone by virtue of their existence.
 
Continuing:

 

Problem                                                                 

 

  • Our constitutions have had these words as part of their guarantees and precepts, but they have never been applied and even if the ideal Capitalism points out ‘Equal Rights,’ we know this is not so, otherwise the people making cents an hour to produce goods that are sold a thousand times more expensive on retail price would be equally wealthy to the people that adjudicate themselves the right to decide who gets what amount of money – that ‘right’ to be equally earning profit is not supported. The right to life that people have by virtue of being a living being is neglected, and we have 2 billion people in this world that are proof of that.

 

  • Equality is usually linked to Communism of Socialism, pointing it out as a ‘failure’ or leading to mass murder and absolute control over people, which is by now the most common association and the most detrimental to get past this association and actually understand the ‘Equal’ next to Money. We have stated many times that Communism or Socialism only stood as names that refer to other forms of hierarchical structures of power and control – with this it is to understand that Equality has Never Existed on Earth or Existence for that matter, and this should suffice in order to be open to Hear what Equality as Life implies – yet we have another set of common obstacles for this.

 

“Without morality as the inner being of equality, one will manipulate reality to suit your self interest as you would be living in fear of other life forms as they compete with you and you want to win at all costs –even if it means the end of the planet” – Bernard Poolman 

 

  • People claim that no one is Equal and no one will ever be – this mostly comes from an understanding of who we are as our personalities, our skills, our abilities valued according to a System where No Life in Equality has ever been existent – hence all that is valued is knowledge, the ideas and beliefs of who each one is as a part of the system that does a certain work that creates more money than others, that is profitable, that leads one to earn a lot of money and within that become ‘more valuable’ in society. This is only, again, a value system created by the human mind in separation – disregard, inconsideration, neglect and deliberate ignorance- of the physical reality wherein two human beings might not be exactly ‘the same’ in their physical and psychological abilities, but both require the same Basic Needs to live, to satisfy their living requirements – we all live in the same world and that makes us Equal in the understanding that in order to live, we require to obtain resources and means to do so. Money has become the only way to obtain this ‘Right to Life’ and if we don’t grant this Right to Life as Money to everyone, we have our current Inequality or Income Inequality where some earn More than others –

 

“This inequality as ego is the foundation of education, economics, religion, politics, money, spirituality, family culture, sex and from this knowledge of self as ego, every child that enter this realm is immediately infested with the illusion and forced to create an ego themselves that will follow and abide by the rules of the illusion that has been manifested as the human civilization.” – Bernard Poolman

 

  • Inequality has been set as the ‘default’ ground of our social, political and economic order and organization as a society, we have believed that ‘this is how it’s always been’ and that we should just ‘stick to it.’ It has only been the History that we have been repeating without a change throughout time, we can’t claim evolution while we still justify the suffering of those left out of the equation that should have always considered Each Individual within the distribution and access to means and resources to live. This is a Physical consideration of what human beings as all other living beings in our planet require to live.

 

  • Equality has been linked to an automated, insipid, robot like state of being, a lack of ‘inspiration to live’ because ‘everyone will be the same,’ which is a common misconception and fallacy, a contribution of our basic programming at home, at school and everywhere in our society in order to cultivate and preserve the privileges and benefits we obtain from our education – which is existent if you have money – our means to live well and have a good social status – only if you have money – and seek ways to capitalize it and grow it to make it even ‘more successful’ – only possible if you have capital/money to begin with. And within these ‘privileges’ everyone complies to accept the fact that some have no money to begin to even ‘run the race’ at the same level than others – this is justified with multiple excuses that make of Inequality part of our ‘Human Nature’ – again, this is only the result of Education and perfect slave-training wherein we are taught to Fear that condition that would Enable us to be in fact Free – because No One is Free until All is Free.  We have been taught to praise the jail we are born into, to polish it, to adapt it and make it a sophisticated ‘way of living’ without ever questioning why individuals are tampered from their ability to Live if they have No Money

 

 

  • Privileges, specialness, uniqueness, power, control and the desire to have more as greed have been the basic lessons we’ve learned at home, in school as the foundation of understanding our ‘position’ in society where we accept the fact that only money gives us access to a freedom that we are not given by default at birth. We are trained to ‘Fight for our Right to Freedom’ ignoring that such statement implies we were born as slaves. We are Able to provide to each one the Right to Life that Capitalism proclaims, but that implies that there can never exist again any law, policy, right or excuse to justify the ability to control, to abuse and have power over others – for that our entire system must change since it has Always been based upon the abilities to do just that. 

 

“Remember, whatever is faced or created within self – self is and has been the creator. Do not live in fear of what is here, understand it, realise self as it and assert yourself to stand-up for change to not expose others as you to such a world – but create a world in which they will be embraced with equality and oneness and actual living”

– Bernard Poolman


 

 

Solution                                                           

 

Equality is to take the supply of life giving resources and to distribute it according to the demands of the living system equally effectively to prevent suffering and fear –we do that with equal money and competition and survival. This needs to stop as there is no life in the system of time. Time should move with the heartbeat of the physical to support life breath by breath – then we will live and stop watching flow by.” – Bernard Poolman

 

  • Equality and Oneness as the Law of  Our Being is the foundation for every relationship and interaction with one another, every form of organization on Earth which stands as the solution to every single problem that has ensued from our accepted and allowed neglect of this basic principle. We have written ‘Equality’ in our laws and constitutions, but have never Lived it, because we didn’t understand Equality as a physical living realization of all of us being part of the same world, the same existence, made of the same bones and flesh as the Matter that comes from the Earth and returns to Earth.

 

  • Equality as Life is the recognition of our origin, our substance, that which we’re made of that we learn to honor as who we are. This will take precedence in all relationships we create with each other, how we see and conceive ourselves, how we organize our societies, the way we learn how our world functions, the way we value each other – this is the inalienable right that is omnipresent as the quality, the fact, the matter that each one of us Exists as – no law, no  agreement can ever again violate this living fact. All forms of concepts that stood as the representation of separation will cease to exist the moment that we Learn to Live the Words that stand as this Realization Who and what we are as Equals.

 

  • The Starting Point for Each Individual as Life in Equality –  we don’t require an extensive amount of laws and regulations if we all learn to live within the Principle of Prevention as the Best Cure for all problems that can only exist if one does not regard all parts as equal and one to who we are: self understanding of Life in Equality is the key to realize why each part of ourselves as One and Equal requires to be Equally supported to generate an actual Well Being where Everyone is benefited from each individual’s well being.  

  • We as humanity are the key to restore the separation that we have created in our minds, which means that we have to first understand How we created the problem to Stand as the Solution, individually and collectively – and for that the Desteni Material stands as the basic source of understanding at an existential level how we have created the primordial separation of ourselves as life into what we currently exist as.

    “Equality is not based on input output –it is based on life — animals will be supported although they cannot produce food for themselves for instance –equality is not only about the human –it is about all life in very form = the humans will require re education — that will be the first primary task after the basic inequalities is removed to allow at the individual level a life of worth and self respect — watch the documentary The Century of the Self and hear how human nature is programmable — this makes anything possible even for the so called less intelligent as the measurement of intelligence is based on consumerism and capitalism without any understanding how learning in fact work.” – Bernard Poolman

  • Standing together as Equals is the only way we can create solutions – we have to ensure that we guard each other’s Right to Life as our own,  therefore if our ‘Right to Life’ exists in the form of Money that we use to buy that which we require to Live – then we can transform Money into the means and representation that is able to vest this Equal-Right to Life that we can give to everyone in an orderly and manageable manner to ensure that each one’s Right to Life is existent as the starting point of our life on Earth.

 

    We have to assist and support each other to realize this basic principle of Equality as who we are:

    “The first step is establishing self agreement, walking self into equality and oneness with self – this you do through walking through your mind and asserting self as the starting-point directive principle – once you have walked this, you only then start with others cause then you will understand and actually be the living point of ‘assisting another as self’ – but one cannot in fact be/know that yet if self hasn’t walked for self first. So – walk self-agreement equality and oneness in being equal and one here with your physical and prepare you for your next phase of assisting/supporting others” – Sunette Spies 

     

  • Education  is pivotal to integrate these principles as a living principle. This will exist as the foundation of Parenting and Educational Policies where Equality is understood as the foundation of our interactions with one another as Equals, such as the definition of words that stand as the building blocks of a world conceived in Equality, basic physical living support skills like nutrition, hygiene, communication, living responsibilities as well as mathematics and vocabulary to establish a comprehension of the world as a Physical Living in Relationships of Equality that enable Life to be Lived in Harmony with one another.

 

“The Equal Money System have as Goal to Educate prospective parents with the skills and understanding necessary BEFORE a child is Born to make sure that the Child have every opportunity of an excellent Life and the required Base foundation as example of what it means to give as you would receive with a dedication to care for Life in all ways. We are what we are taught form Birth and changing our Beginning Here will change Human Nature. We all know this, yet we continue to ignore what can be changed” – Bernard Poolman

 

 

 

Rewards                                               

“Within a System of Equality all working towards what is best for all, we will have the mathematical certainty of a future that’s best for all, and thus do not need to be feared. In the way that it now exist in systems of abuse, secrets, and who we are as humans now, the future must be feared because in the mathematical equation of it we are certain to produce disaster.” Bernard Poolman

 

  • Equality is the cure and solution to all limitation, fight for survival, abuse, all power plays, competition, violation, discrimination, poverty and greed, hatred, judgment, disease and general state of distress that we have lived as – our ability to co-create a world that is best for all is founded upon the ability to recognize how stable, enjoyable and comfortable our lives can be if we ensure each other’s right to have this same condition in their lives themselves, we won’t ever again fear to be robbed, violated or abused in this same right because there will be No need to do so if everyone’s well being is guarded as our own life.
  • The New Living Agreement is of all Parts standing as Individuals in Equality – this implies the diversity of expression based on what is Best for All Life – true freedom, true self expression and diversity will exist as a unique expression that stands equal to every other being – this ensures an actual enjoyment and eagerness to Live in order to expand our creative abilities once that no abuse or extortion guides our every breath, but who we are as equals stands as a certainty of Life in Every Breath.

 

  • Birthing Life from the Physical as the Manifested Equality and Oneness wherein we will in fact Live for the very first time and exist beyond every form of limitation that has existed up to now, and this is certainly the one reward we can all ensure is manifested as Who We Are in our directive principle of deciding to Live Equality as Life, as the words we speak, the way we live among one another, how we conceive and regard each other in our reality once that Money doesn’t stand as a point of separation, but as a tool to support this physical living realization of Equality as our Individual Responsibility to life as a whole.

 

 

 

Life is Waiting for You - Equal Money System by Damian Ledesma - Desteni Art

Artwork by Damián Ledesma

 

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118. My Libido – A Denial

What would be the only reason why an essential aspect of our human-physical living reality such as the sexual drive – dubbed libido for psychoanalysis purposes can be obfuscated in a deliberate manner? Fear

 

Libido is the word that came up in the dictionary and immediately remembered how I had first listened to Kurt Cobain sing/scream this word in the chorus of the 90s youth anthem Smells like teen spirit which I first heard when I was about 7 – close to his death – and how I would always use the dictionary to translate words and get to know the meaning of words. I found out what this was and even at that age I already could see the experiences emerging with the meaning of the word.

 

Oh what will people that know me say about this? It’s fascinating because I had pretty much disclosed the entire point of sexual drive in a document that I kept for myself from the beginning of my process, to disengage that entire ‘sexual drive’ that I would find within me in almost every single moment of my beingness here. Yes, it was part of a system manifestation that I had – yet no different to any other sexual drive really. Through the years of my application within this process, I have been able to stabilize myself a lot in relation to sexuality and sex-drive, which is something very cool as I could see how it could get to control your every-day living if you are simply only waiting for the moment to have sex again – it was that extensive within me.

 

I have realized how part of the reasons for my dissociation with my family stemmed from them opposing the people that I would go out with – I stopped communicating with them, hiding and simply keeping the minimal-contact with them just because of realizing that ‘they would always oppose the person I decided to be in a relationship with’ – I had literally resigned and also ‘designed’ myself to live out the idea of having to get far, far away from them as an adult, as they would never approve of my relationships – however, this belief of them having to ‘approve’ of my relationships was part of the familial-type of patterns wherein partners had to always be introduced at home and so, my parents would agree or disagree with them and act accordingly – this is in relation to how my sister’s partners would be ‘treated’ – yes a fuckedup pattern indeed.

 

That’s why and how I developed ideas of: ‘I will never get married, I will never have kids, I will live in an open relationship with people, I won’t settle down the way they want me to’ never realizing how all of these ideas were only stemming from what I beLIEved was my way of ‘liberation’ from the perceived oppression. The Desteni I Process and particularly the Agreements Course has been very supportive to open up these personal repressions and entire psychological warfare that we develop toward ourselves as our own physical sexual expression that should not be hidden, should not be repressed/ suppressed as that is then still ‘giving head’ to familial traditions, traumatic experiences, an entire ‘sins of the fathers’ type of experience wherein I can see and have written out how I developed this ‘political’ way of being wherein I have kept my secrets in place, which is the same pattern that I can spot from ‘those that have gone before me’ in quite fascinating ways, as I see and realize how this has become ‘the way’ to keep ourselves safe in our bubbles, keeping literal ‘political relationships’ with one another while having quite a raucous personal life on the other hand.

 

So, back into the fear point and why I kept this to myself. I had a few ‘tortuous’ years when I was in my late teens, coping with the entire point of secret relationships out of fear of survival literally, as I feared that my parents would simply stop allowing me to go out or support my plans to study abroad if I would keep seeing this or that person.

I later on – much later on – realized how I had in fact not taken into consideration what I was doing when engaging in such relationships, but I had to see/ experience that for myself, fall flat on my face and stand up. However the lack of openness in communicating with my parents about it was simply an aspect that I see influenced me into keeping these topics secret to myself. I mean, I would easily talk about sex and the female/ male innuendo play outs in society, however I would never talk about how I would live that within my own life.

I was considering following on this topic – however, at the moment I see there is a point that requires to be walked with more specificity, which is how I have deliberately decided to be alone/ a loner and how I have also developed characters in relation to pushing people away the moment that they get too close – so, that will come in blogs to follow as that is more ‘latent’ within my current reality.

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep a point like ‘sexual drive’ as a taboo to speak about in my blog because of the extent of the audience that I have now and believing that this topic is ‘too personal’ to share, wherein I realize that I can only limit myself because of an actual fear of what others would think about my realizations and writings, without seeing and realizing how this world is the result of having lived sexuality as a great point of ‘secret desire’ that is everywhere yet no one is openly discussing it, which is what causes most of the problems going on around sexual dysfunctions, paraphilias and any other type of diversion from physical-sexuality, as we have made of sex a mind-energetic drive instead of an actual integral part of our living-reality, wherein we can instead support ourselves to develop an equal and one self-communication at a physical level as our own sexuality, to later on expand and establish agreements with others that are doing the same and as such, change the way that sexuality is approached as a topic, and lived within this world wherein we have pornography, sexual abuse, sexual harassment and any other dysfunctional consequence stemming from this ‘unspoken banning’ toward all things sex in our reality.

 

I see and realize that I have perpetuated this secrecy as a way to still hold certain link toward a familial type of ‘rule’ wherein we are not supposed to talk about our personal sexual experiences, and only speak about ‘the surface’ of relationships, which is how sex was never a spoken topic toward me specifically, but only kept as an assumption wherein I believed that the only communication and understanding about sex was able to be obtained from school. Which was actually so and other sources such as books that I read in order to get to understand how it physically functioned – however, as a point to consider for everyone that is currently having kids or thinking about becoming parents, it is indispensable to create an openness to discuss about sexuality as in being a ‘girl’ or a ‘boy’ and the physical differences that exist between both, later on about masturbation, sexual relationships and stopping any form of ‘secrecy’ implanted onto this topic, as the slightest repression existent within oneself, can turn into the child’s own repression or the extreme opposite which is an absolutely ‘unleashed’ sexual expression as a form of spitefulness toward such repression.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having feared discussing my personal relationships with my parents/ family in general because of fearing how they would judge the people that I would go out with, and within this making such fears as real as I would allow myself to live them out by creating a ‘double life’ wherein I could keep one side of my life secret and present another side of myself toward everyone, which is how I accepted and allowed myself to repress my own expression in communicating toward others what I was in fact doing and living as in relation to relationships/ sexuality, which became part of the personalities that I developed as a ‘survival-mode,’ just because of fearing not being supported to continue my studies or being kicked out of the house or simply perpetual fights because of me going out with particular people in my world.

 

When and as I see myself fearing talking about sex and my own sexual experiences, I stop and I breathe – I realize that these fears are directly linked to my family and the patterns of threats in relation to not going out with particular people in my world. I realize that no one else can decide for me ‘who I can establish a relationship with’ but myself, and that any objection can only be taken as a point to discuss with them to support them/ others to see where and how such fears/ judgments originate from their own personal experiences projected onto myself or others in question. This way I can practically assist and support myself and others to see how we have passed on our own personal repressions around sex because of fearing to see how such fears determined our ‘who we are’ in relation to sexuality, which is unacceptable to continue like this in our world wherein much of the behavioral problems stem from having an ‘unhealthy’ sexual relationship of individuals toward ourselves as our own physical body and toward others as sexual relationships.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that my parents had ‘all the power’ to decide who I could go into a relationship with or not, wherein the obvious fear-factor was being supported financially to live and study – hence I realize how even the relationships that we have toward ourselves and our own bodies is influenced by the relationship with our parents and not only the communicational aspect of it, but any other form of restrain and prohibition in relation to our own sexual expression is directly linked to how we were educated/ non-educated at all in relation to sexuality and our own physical relationship with our own body.

 

Thus when and as I see myself fearing what my parents/ family would say, think or judge another person that I decide to go into a relationship with, I stop and I breathe – I realize that no one else has a say to decide what’s best for me according to their beliefs and perceptions, but that I am the only one that is able to perfectly assess what I am willing to be, do and express with myself and another as an actual relationship of self-support. I also see and realize that any judgment can be worked with in relation to themselves and how they were educated/ uneducated about it, which is how I can practically turn a point of taboo, prohibition or further ‘disapproval’ into understanding wherein we can actually instead support ourselves to be able to communicate effectively about points that were simply ‘kept secret’ in the past.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep the backchat and ‘ingrained beliefs’ such as I will never get married, I will never have kids, I will live in an open relationship with people, I won’t settle down the way they want me to’ as they were all spiteful decisions I made in relation to how I lived my own personal relationships and how I would ‘deal’ with that in relation to my family – thus I see and realize that I only limited myself to be and become one single idea of ‘who I will be in my relationships’ as a deliberate opposition and contrast to that which I would see as a ‘must-do’ and ‘must-avoid’ type of attitudes that I witnessed at home, not realizing that I was the only one that developed such fears toward it and within this, giving my entire power away to fear, to keep quiet and secretive about my relationships at all times.

 

When and as I see myself bringing up beliefs about myself, my future relationships and what I want to be and become and what I won’t ‘ever’ be and become – I stop and I breathe – I realize that the totalitarianism that I have imposed onto myself has been mostly a way to oppose my familial restrictions that I took personal and a pillar to develop my own ‘rebellious’ personality, which is nothing else but the exact opposite of what I made myself believe that my parents wanted me to be and become. Thus, I stop playing the game of being the ‘black sheep of the family’ and going against everything that I knew they ‘believed in’ and instead, simply consider at all times what is it that I am willing to live by and as, how I am willing to support myself in a relationship wherein an actual open agreement of self-support is lived in a physical way, wherein no ‘family taboos’ are existent any longer, and within this ensuring that all types of limitations toward sexuality and how to deal with it is stopped here, as I see and realize the consequences of what happens when sexuality becomes an ‘unspoken secret’ within the relationship we have with our parents/ family, and how this becomes a personal taboo as well the moment that we still unconsciously fear talking about it based on past experiences.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having chosen partners that were deliberately the type of opposite ‘stereotypes’ from the people that I knew my mother wanted me to end up with in a relationship, which became a spiteful pattern that had to be played out in secret, just because of how my mother would disapprove from the partners I had, which was both a negative experience for having to be hiding – a positive experience based on how I would feel like I was finally ‘rebelling’ to the obliged experiences I went through with my mother, without realizing that I was then only acting and making decisions in spitefulness toward my mother and never in fact making an informed decision based on what is best for me to be and do within the consideration with whom it is best for me to establish a relationship with, without holding on the anti-stereotype of ideal partner in order to annoy my mother as I have realized how within wanting to spite my mother = I only ended up spiting myself

 

When and as I see myself seeking to in any way spite others with the decision I make in relation to my personal relationships, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the only person that I end up spiting is myself when decisions are made as a reaction instead of an actual in detail self-decision to actually design and create a self-agreement with myself and another in order to walk a process of physical support that can in fact stand as the new way of living sexuality and relationships wherein all past and familial taboos are self-forgiven and walked into a physical practical correction wherein I see and realize that all decisions I made, I am responsible for and that anyone else’s input on it can only be taken into consideration in relation to the actual support they represent or not.

 

I commit myself to walk my own process of self-agreement wherein I see and realize the importance of developing an openness to talk about sexuality with more people, as this is quite a ‘biggie’ point in our ‘human nature’ wherein because of the entire judgments and energetic-experiences attached to sexuality as a physical act, it has become only this image-based type of topic that people can masturbate to or have sex to wherein actual physical relationships are not considered at all, but only turned into these type of energetic-triggers to create yet another addiction that we have enslaved ourselves to, simply because of the same physical separation that we have perpetuated throughout our lives and deemed it as ‘normal,’ because we had in fact never understood how the mind works, how we developed a relationship of abuse toward ourselves and others the moment that we began regarding only sex and sexuality as an energetic experience toward an image, an idea or the idea and belief of another being in our minds that we could use a fuel to our own libido, wherein the actual physical experience was never considered in reality.

 

I commit myself to share myself and my experiences, so that parents and to-be parents can consider how vital the relationship of communication they have with their children actually is, and how it is a decisive factor that can create either a point of openness or repression within another being, wherein the sexual drive a.k.a. libido can be understood and properly given direction as an actual natural expression that must be developed by each being individually with and toward their own body, ensuring that such relationship is kept within the bounds of physicality and not turning it into a mind-drive for energetic experiences that later on vandalize an actual physical experience into a lucrative image-based drive for quick energetic fixes that in no way consider an actual physical relationship or agreement with oneself and/or another to actually walk a process of understanding the actual potential we have to develop this point of self expression in and as the physical with ourselves and/or another being when establishing ourselves as one and equal as our physical body.

I see and realize the importance of developing proper communication with ourselves as our physical body and with others in relation to sexuality, as this is the way wherein we can actually support ourselves to stop any form of limitation that ensues further ‘backdoors’ of abuse with absolutely detrimental consequences to ourselves as society, which is how we can only be controlled by images that are plentiful in our every day living as ‘advertisement’ becoming just another ‘match’ to light up for a moment to get a certain satisfaction, never ever considering the actual physical relationships that must be established in order to ensure that physical-sex is lived and understood and actually integrated as part of the new sexual expression that will step forth as an outflow of our own process of self equality and oneness.

 

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Thanks to Maya and her blogs that allowed me to also review this point for myself

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62. ‘I just want to Do Nothing’

I Forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not voice, not think, but simply remain idle and ‘not do anything’ because of being in ‘that time of the month’ wherein I access a rather spiteful mode toward ‘having to go through this’ and believing that I have the ‘right’ to ‘not do anything because I don’t feel well’ which is unacceptable considering that my body doesn’t take vacations to stop digesting the food that I eat or stop the intake of oxygen just because it gets ‘fed up’ of doing so for a while, which means that I have not yet learned what it is to stand equal and one as my physical body, regardless of any ‘feeling’ or experience that is only created at a mind level within me Upon an actual physical process that I already know  simply have to breathe through-it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to access my desire to create some form of friction within me toward others, and because I have no one to ‘fight against’ I simply give up on myself and rather go to sleep and ‘forget about it all’ which is like throwing a tantrum as the ‘menstruation personality’ as a child that wants to be spoiled and have benefits because ‘oh I am in my periods, I am sensitive, I am in pain, I don’t want to do anything’  which is unacceptable considering the billions of women that go through the same process I go through every single month and having to work or else, they die.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be obfuscated by this seemingly ‘uncomfortable’ experience which means that I give it too much attention as the mind, and that I am not effectively breathing, here, wherein I make sure that any bit or trace of the menstruation-personality is stopped, as I see, realize and have proven to myself that I am able to work and function as usual when being in my period, which means that this time I am using it as an excuse to hide something else that I have been storing and only use this point as a valve of escape to ventilate my own unsorted points of self-direction and justifying them with ‘being in my period.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience grievance when having my periods wherein I feel that ‘I have the right to not do anything if I don’t want to’ because this is something that ‘happens to me’ without me wanting it to happen, which had been a physical process that I have deemed as a curse and a used as a justification to not breathe, not move and rather remain just idle within my self-infatuation as to ‘why’ I have the right to ‘not do anything’ linked to being in my periods.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become spiteful toward myself and everything because ‘I just don’t feel like doing anything today’ which clearly indicates I am giving permission to my mind to direct myself, manifesting such thoughts a deliberate shunning away of everything that I had planned to do and become rather stagnant and giving too much attention to pain,  just watching the ceiling like the old times which is pointing out: red flag, red flag, you’re accessing that ‘zone’ again.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel so ‘out of control’ of myself whenever I have my periods in ‘this way’ wherein it is obvious that it exacerbates any point that I’ve accumulated as that sense of ‘fogbound’ and procrastination when seeing ‘oh it is too much that I have to do,’ which I then use as an obviously fuckedup excuse to not do it at all and instead, justify my inaction with and because of physical discomfort based on ‘how I feel,’ wherein the moment there is a ‘how I feel’ justification I realize I must investigate what is behind it, instead of just blaming menstruation and hormones for it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience contempt toward hormones themselves and chemicals and my own thoughts doing ‘this to me’ which is obviously irresponsible because I realize and have proven to myself before that I can remain stable during ‘these days’ and that any other experience that emerges, has to do with how I am directing myself in my day to day living and it’s got nothing to do with ‘menstruation’ itself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘I have the right to have a day or two off because I don’t feel like doing anything’ while I realize that if I allow this deliberate spitefulness toward life, why should life support me unconditionally 24/7 without Ever complaining or wanting to ‘take a day or two off’- such as the body deciding to stop working, which would obviously mean I would die.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my own self-irritation toward ‘my period’ and only become more ‘fed up’ with all without realizing it is only me as my mind creating this experience wherein the moment I give in to ‘go to sleep’ I am in fact saying ‘my mind wins, she wants to rest, let her be.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to just lay on the ground facing the ceiling and do nothing, just breathing, without realizing that this is just another form of laziness based on procrastination and the accumulation of having lots to do and instead of moving, I decide ‘oh I need some time because, you know, I don’t ‘feel’ that well today’ – which is using my period and the days before that as an excuse to not move, which is not acceptable because the obvious example that comes is all women that must work over 12 hours a day, with only a few minutes to rest in between, working as a slave in a factory and I wonder: what the fucking hell am I complaining about, really

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to complain about ‘me not wanting to do anything’ wherein there is people that if they don’t move, they don’t eat that day, and that if they ever would want a ‘day to rest’ it would mean the end of their life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to time frames and believe that it will be an eternity to get something/ somewhere without realizing that, I won’t be going anywhere or going ‘somewhere else’ but here as myself, which implies that no matter what ideas may come up in my head in relation to the future, I am here, I have to walk my day by day and moment by moment here with absolute certainty of myself as my physical body – everything else is just mind distraction.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use experience and physical discomfort/ pain as an excuse to not move.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that complaining is just whining, is just arguing for my limitations instead of actually moving and doing and remaining stable within self-movement, not allowing a physical process to tamper my hereness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use menstruation as an excuse to make males feel ‘bad’ in the past because through us women being the only ones experiencing ‘this’ I could then justify my mood, my anger, my irritation projected onto them, because they would not know ‘what it feels like to be a woman while menstruating’ and the pains the body goes through, which is then used as an excuse to have people spoil me, do whatever I want as a way for ‘them’ to compensate for ‘me being a woman’ (which is ridiculous thinking, but it did happen that way) – and if this doesn’t happen because I am alone, I spoil myself through not doing anything and just shutting everything off and sleeping, justifying it as my ‘way to spoil myself’ because ‘I deserve it, I am in pain, I am a woman’ which is plain-sight self-victimization as an excuse to not move.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be spiteful toward all beings that are here as myself in every moment that I ‘give up’ the self-direction and justify it with knowledge and information as a way to validate why I don’t ‘feel’ like doing something today, wherein in the past, I’d seek the comfort of someone spoiling me to ‘feel better about myself’ and because there is no one to do that, I ‘give it to myself’ yet without any actual realization of what impact this has overall as a single acceptance and allowance in my world, as a point of giving up self-direction to self-manipulation, justification and spitefulness toward myself, my own process, and life itself with my stagnant and idle behavior, which is truly unacceptable.

 

I have realized idleness is a great experience temptation in my world, it’s been an actual pattern that I have even taken for granted, wherein I can just remain still doing nothing for quite some time as form of ‘zoning out’ and not thinking as a way to not ‘face myself,’ but also creating this belief that it will take ‘extra effort’ for me to move, which is just another justification and idea in my mind – I see and realize that it only takes self-direction and the actual physical self-impulse to do so, without energy, but self-movement in itself, which won’t be based by this energetic surge as I was used to move myself before, but it is now really self-movement in the most  raw possible way: I move – or  I don’t move and nothing and no one else determines that but myself.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to be fully self-directive in all moments, because I am allowing a justification of a physical process to be a way to shut myself down from everything for a while and not really wanting to participate, move or interact because of just wanting to remain idle and sleep away the experience both physically and mentally.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be accessing this energetic experience of annoyance toward myself as the physical experience, wherein it is the same surge of desire to just punch something to exert out anger for anything to anyone as an outlet to what I have accepted and allowed to compound within myself, as this bits of lack of self movement, dissatisfaction with myself as energetic ‘lack’ to move, and use anger or irritation as a way to ‘get myself back on track’ because they imply negative energetic experiences that I had become also used to experiencing as a way to ‘feel alive.’

 

I realize that the only reason why I had neglected being an angry person was because of judging anger as ‘bad’ and I didn’t want to be a ‘bad person’ which  lead me to become angry – lol – at anyone that would point out that ‘I was angry or moody’, wherein ‘moody’ meant that they were aware I was in my period and me just being über pissed off for them being aware of my mood being because of having my periods and in that, fuel my own experience due to not wanting people to notice that I was being ‘a victim’ of my own hormones.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-directive in every moment of breath Even More So when I ‘know’ beforehand that whenever I am in my periods, I become a victim of hormones – therefore,

 

When and as I see myself being a victim of my own ‘hormones’ and blaming something ‘in separation of myself’ for my own experience,  justifying that with ‘oh but I’m in my periods, I’m allowed to be pissed off and not wanting to do anything, because it’s this ‘obnoxious thing’ happening to me, I am not responsible for that’ – which are plain justifications to not act, not move and be self directive. I realize that in me saying ‘oh well, let’s just let it be for a day’ I am in fact spiting myself and that everything just falls apart with one single allowance of me saying ‘oh but …’ and justification streaming along, which is the moment that I must breathe and stop and I realize it does take physical visible and tangible self movement to MOVE – otherwise: nothing will change and nothing will move.

 

I realize that the only way to dissipate this energy is through breathing, because becoming stagnant and or extremely angry are but polarities of the same point which is energy only, accumulated and wanting to be exerted either through the positive way or negative way, both equally harmful and unnecessary if I realize the extent of harm that my body goes through with every single experience and reaction that I generate through thinking instead of just doing it.

 

I realize that I simply require to become more directive within myself and my physical body experiences, supporting it with ‘extra-attention’ toward breathing itself, and not giving extra-attention to the physical experience while going through periods as I realize that there is nothing and no one to blame for that, there is no way to make it stop from happening every single month and that the only way I can support myself is through ensuring I don’t participate in the ‘mood swings’ and giving all my attention to the physical discomfort, but simply continue breathing and walking, no matter what my mind says as ‘Oh but that’s not enough!’ and trying to throw a tantrum about there not being any physical solution to not have a way to stop the periods from coming month after month.

It is the same way as I had complained in the past about having to eat, there is nothing I can do about it: I eat, I stop the experiences toward having to eat, having to shit, having to live on a day to day basis within a routine that I know that If I don’t follow through I die –thus, I stop creating any experience toward bodily functions that I realize I can simply breathe through, move and stabilize myself if any thought wants to add some ‘spice’ to these physical processes.

 

Wasting Time is not a cool point at all considering it is a mind-decision spiting the physical that is always unconditionally taking air in, breathing, transporting blood throughout our veins – and what do we do? we create tantrums to not move, unacceptable. 

I stand up for life which means, I learn from my own physical body’s unconditional Self-Movement which I must equalize myself as with no excuse or justification to not do so.

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Day 60: Femme Fatale

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have a gender definition have power over life through participating in self-definitions based on being a ‘female’ or ‘male’ and perpetuating the games of self-interest that both females and males participate in, wherein all that matters is ‘winning’ as the strongest sex/ gender, and in this neglecting everything and everyone else in reality that is suffering the consequences of us, human beings, being very busy and preoccupied only satisfying our power-games which create a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ experience within ourselves, which is in fact a spiteful game against life.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to take ‘pride’ in being a female due to recognizing this ‘energetic power’ over males  (Read ‘supervixen’ for further context on that.)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link ‘femininity’ with power over males

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because I am a woman, I must be desired by all males

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to program myself to be a woman that uses her ‘power’ in order to lure men into a point of attraction due to the power that this implies as an experience within me

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to see women as powerful for the ‘energetic presence’ that they impose anywhere they are, without ever realizing that with me complying to this belief, I was giving permission – accepting and allowing – the existence of the energetic presence that a female expression and a male expression have, wherein the female is the ‘positive’ energetic manifestation and the male is the ‘negative’ energetic manifestation, which is how I now realize that the power that I saw myself endowed with was in fact nothing else but an energetic presence that I diminished myself to as a form of power within me, within the realization that males would be usually following behind females like ‘dogs behind bones,’ which implies a very specific way of defining the relationship that I defined between males and females

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep males as ‘followers of a female’s flesh’ and nothing else, which is a despicable way to generalize human beings according to a particular gender, wherein I was confirming their energetic-stance and the apparent ‘power’ that females had as such ‘vibrant expression’ and ‘glowing aura’ which was actually and in fact part of the manifestation of who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become as males an females in this reality. To understand this, read the Heaven’s Journey To Life blog  The Energy of Adam and Eve: DAY 58

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘shape’ my personality according to the stereotypes of women that could be tagged as ‘femme fatale’ due to the power that I saw they had toward males, wherein they were able to have males ‘at their feet’ and treat them like scum and still ‘have them at their feet,’ within this, creating an absolute point of inequality and abuse that stems from actual vindication of the perceived ‘weakness’ that is commonly associated with women, without ever questioning why both weakness and strength had to define a gender in the first place and why could they not be equal.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately play games to tantalize men and get a kick out of it, meaning, getting a sense of empowerment every time that I knew I could simply vex them and bother them,  even piss them off deliberately but they could not hit me back or offend me back because ‘I am a woman and cannot be hit/ offended’ because of the stereotypes in society that I used to my benefit, wherein I would feel offended and even angry whenever women were portrayed as ‘weak’ and ‘powerless’ and ‘delicate’ – yet use this delicacy and inferiority in order to protect me from being at the same level of males and within that, protecting me from being done the same onto me that I would do onto males, just for fun.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately create a stance toward males of strength and superiority due to being covering up and making-up for the usual perceived idea of the feeble, sensitive and weak females as the concepts that are usually accepted and allowed in society, wherein I would then equalize myself to the ‘male stance’ Yet, wanting to keep my privilege of ‘being  a female that can’t be touched/ hit back’ by males.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be a feminist for a while in my life, just because of me perceiving that we were in fact ‘more powerful’ than males and that we had been deliberately disempowered throughout history, satanized and even burnt like witches whenever this ‘charm’ would tantalize too many males, which means that my stance of ‘strength’ as a female, was not in any way who I really am, but just a cover up to the history of women/ females in history and me trying to make up for it by creating the opposite polarity within me, without considering that in doing this, I was in fact simply confirming that we were in fact either weak or more powerful, both points equally defined by ‘who we are’ as energy, and not as the physicality and physical reality that we are as females and males as physical bodies.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create my personality, myself, my self-experience as a mind that is perceiving herself to be ‘more than males’ and having ‘power over males’ and equally powerful to males, which is in its overall starting point a defense mechanism to the historical prejudices that have been adjudicated toward females as weak, powerless, voice less, submissive and ‘behind the male,’ of which I saw myself as the ‘savior’ from continuing such image of females within that past stereotype of inferiority against the males.

 

I see and realize that all of these personalities and overall power-games that I played in my mind were based on polarities of being over and below the male figure as either strong/ weak according to how I wanted to place myself ‘as a female’ in a position of power over males, which means that I gave permission and continuation to the current state that we are living in/ as humanity where both genders signify the basic point of separation between human beings that should regard the physical equality and oneness and stop any form of power-games at energetic levels, that only perpetuate the mind system’s energy outflows that we cannot even see or be aware of the consequences we are creating every time that we accept and allow ourselves to play either the weak or strong sex/ gender in society as either male or female.

 

I realize that even though I have been aware of the point of Equality and Oneness, there are points that are embedded at a physical level due to how I have programmed myself throughout my teenage years, watching females on TV and in the music industry that represented ‘all that I wanted to be’ which is the woman having power over males but from the starting point of having felt subject to ‘the male dominance’ in society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify with lyrics, books and anything that would speak about females being these magnificent beings that had nothing to do with the more mechanical and savage males that only sought females for flesh, without realizing that in such identification, I was becoming part of the usual separation between genders as a way to perpetuate the power games that are currently escalating toward the empowerment of females by making males ‘inferior’ and using sex as a way to reinforce the patterns of dominance and submission that escalate to the current hierarchical state of the world in absolute inequality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually get trapped in power games and having to keep this personality as self-definition based on the gender that I am, without actually being aware of how this only kept myself occupied within my mind, ensuing separation from the realization that who I really am is and exists here as the physical, that doesn’t require to be constantly fighting against/ outdoing the ‘counterpart’ as the male, in means of perpetuating a sense of power and superiority, which would create a ‘good experience’ within myself, in this forgetting about the rest of the world that is in fact the consequence of us having accepted and allowed energy as a point of self-definition/ self-limitation within hierarchical values that are used only to perpetuate the system of abuse of Life, and in that: we are all responsible just by playing out the usual female-male power games of attraction, seduction and eventual engagement as energetic relationships that were in no way based on the consideration of Life in Equality, as the physicality that we are in fact as human beings.

 

I commit myself to stop any inner-experience of ‘being a female’ and equating this to ‘feeling powerful’ and ‘having power over males’ specifically, as this is only playing out the counter act to what I had perceived as female weakness and feebleness that in no way consider the stability and physicality of who we are as physical beings, but only regard the energetic presence that is the very system that has transformed life into a mere energetic fix that we have all been participants of throughout human history.

 

I commit myself to stop the personalities that I acquired from people in popular cultures, specifically women that portrayed themselves as ‘femme fatale’ and in that, debunking my own ‘superiority stance’ toward males to equalize myself as any living being in the consideration of life and physicality, and not gender and energetic power-games that would define a relationship between a male and a female.

 

I realize that this is the primordial point of physical separation as human beings that we exist as, due to our physical bodies being different – however, this does not mean that one is ‘more’ than the other and it is thus our responsibility to, for once and for all, stop all attempts to vindicate females as ‘more’ or ‘less’ than males – and vice versa – in order to establish one single principle that guides the lives of not only human beings, but all living beings in the consideration of Life in and as Equality and Oneness, wherein this Equality wherein this Oneness is not a mind-experience based on the fusion of the ‘poles’ as chemical marriage, but an actual physical one plus one relationship and agreement to work together to live as equals on Earth, honoring Life for the first time which we had neglected to a mere background where no Self-Respect as Equality existed.

 

I commit myself to expose feminism as the counter-act of machismo, which stems from the ‘outdoing’ and trumping of the power-game played by both genders when defined according to energy and not the obvious physicality that is equally composed by the same cells, organs, tissues, bones and brain that requires the same nutrients to live, that develops the same way in physical reality wherein no ‘superiority’ or ‘inferiority’ is visible, but it only exists in the mind of human beings as an excuse to perpetuate the conflict and rivalry between males and females, which is unacceptable, unnecessary and must be stopped.

 

I commit myself to walk my Self-Agreement wherein I ensure that who I am as the relationship with myself is not defined by a ‘gender’ but instead as a physical being that is able to stand in and as Equality with the totality that is here as Self, where no genders define what is life and what’s not life or ‘less than’ as  all is existent in an equal stance in the measure of life – thus we stop the power-play between males and females in the name of Life in Equality.

 

Desteni I Process Relationships  to learn how to remove the conditions we’ve learned from our past as human beings that were existing in self-definitions of power-control and energetic-luring as the base foundation of ‘human relationships’

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