Category Archives: Writing Yourself to Freedom

419. Devaluation of Self

It’s fascinating that when we operate in terms of ‘values’ and we value people according to who we perceive them to be – as their amount of studies, knowledge and information and generally known success in life, we sometimes create the notion of ‘famous people’ or people that could be generally perceived as ‘more important than’ or ‘superior’ to others that we have defined as ‘plain mortals’ so to speak. I noticed that this exists within me in the form of considering that some people who I would like to invite for discussions could be ‘too famous’ to actually want to be in a live discussion with me/us.

 

Louis Vuitton Morton

 

This came up as I was sharing with others about a particular person I would like to invite to a live online discussion and even if I know I am directing myself to propose it and actually eventually create it, I noticed a sharp pain on my right leg, quite on the surface but unusual though so I got to know from the person I was talking to how this relates to one’s foundation of support, and from some older notes, the flow of expression. So what came behind the proposal to interview this individual were also aspects of self-doubt in relation to how I have valued/perceived the person to be. So I realized how I tend to create these limitations based on how I have ‘valued’ a person according to their ‘accrued interest’ on knowledge and information and so how I see myself considering it would be ‘unreasonable’ or ‘unbelievable’ or ‘out of reach’ or ‘requiring something more than what I got’ to be able to actually approach another individual to discuss topics that we for sure have in common to discuss.  But then again, how/what has in fact placed such limitation? Myself based on the perception of these individuals being already interviewed by other media and ‘professional anchors’ so in this, I actually create my own limitation because I then look at the person not for the actual purpose of having a chat with them would be, which is a point that benefits everyone in fact, but I then first pull out a point of doubt of whether ‘we are up to the height’ required for it.

So in this particular practical considerations are required. For sure it would imply that I for example, have to ensure I read up to and continue educating myself to get more background on the person and their work so that I can have that same foundation for such conversation, that’s just practical stuff that I do anyways – so what changed? Well, the idea of ‘who’ the person is, so here we go!

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider person x as ‘way too unreachable for a chat’ considering that I have placed this person as an ‘important individual’ in their spheres of influence and within that ultimately believing that ‘they would not care/agree to have a chat with us’ without realizing that in this, I am in fact giving up or already going into defeat before even trying, so WTF?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to consider that I would require something ‘more’ in order to be able to invite someone for a chat, such as greater production or more publicity or else, without realizing that what I/we do is what is possible at the moment and using the means that we have at our reach and as such the simplicity of it and the use of cost-less resources does not diminish the quality of the production as the conversation in itself – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition in the belief that this individual will only accept an interview if it comes from some major media outlet, without realizing that in this I am already giving up to even actually going for it and making an invitation to the person – within this, my approach has to be equal and one as with every other person I invite and so,

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of inferiority toward an individual that I consider ‘unreachable’ or ‘too famous’ or ‘too prestigious’ to be part of a conversation with me/us online – in this I realize that through this perception of the person being ‘more than’ I created my own limitation toward them and so creating an experience of uncertainty of myself in relation to how that conversation would develop – without realizing that this is all only my own mind patterns and experiences that I have created throughout time toward particular people that I have considered as ‘famous’ and ‘well known’ to be ‘out of reach’ people and me considering having a discussion with them something extravagant, meaning going ‘out of reason’ of what I would consider would be ‘suitable’ for me, which is all existent as a scheme of values that I’ve placed toward myself and others, which is unacceptable as the starting point of the whole thing is actually to promote and create a more equal society.

In this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually experience a tinge of fear of having a discussion with someone that I had previously somewhat antagonized and in this, I realized that my previous stance toward basically everyone that did not agree with how I saw solutions should be was that of rather continuous criticism, which obviously will lead us nowhere and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually fear that my previous criticism and mockery toward the movement that this person stands for comes back to me in the form of the person rejecting my invitation for a live discussion – in this I realize that the actual fear is that the person could use what I previously said against me and against this renewed effort to rather work together. I realize that in this I have to first forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to criticize an individual’s work and overall movement as a non-working solution, without realizing that yes we all make mistakes and what I have learned throughout these years is precisely to not create enemies, but rather be able to find a common ground and that’s my current stance. Therefore I hereby declare that I have forgiven myself for having created antagonism toward other individuals that didn’t ‘suit’ my perceptions and ideas and plans for what I define as ‘real change,’ and now that we are coming to a common ground, it seems possible that we can in fact then advocate for the same principle, which is cool and in this ultimately it’s about me being clear on where I stand in relation to this individual and the movement he stands for itself, wherein I am willing to accept my past perceptions and mistakes and so be willing to obviously start anew as this is what we all require to do in the world: to forgive ourselves for our assumptions and judgments made toward ourselves and others in order to start from scratch and building relationships that go beyond ego or ‘who’s right’ and ‘who’s wrong,’ but rather get to work together as equals.

Ultimately in all of this, I realize how my own perceptions, beliefs and past ‘trespasses’ could create a limitation in expanding toward working and contacting people that I consider are now aligning more and more with the solutions we also advocate – and so it is absolutely necessary to stop ourselves as ego from becoming an obstacle in the development that we can in fact carry out for the betterment not only of ‘ourselves’ as individuals, but for the causes that we actually stand for – this means: principle must always override any ego.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to impose a sense of ‘not being up to the height’ of another and believing that ‘the person would not want to discuss with me’ because of me not having a particular ‘popular’ stance or reputation or believing that I would require to have some sense of ‘official recognition’ in order to be able to invite certain individuals, as if there was like this ‘scale of values’ that one would have to gather in order to do so. I realize that this limitation is absolutely something built over my own perceptions toward people based on their knowledge, their information, their careers and professions, their relationships, their leadership positions and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give more weight to knowledge, information, careers, relationships with what I have defined as ‘important people’ and within this create a limitation of ‘who I would be capable and able to establish a conversation with’ based on who I perceive them to be or what I would perceive they would think if a ‘regular person’ like me asks them for an interview.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use terms like ‘being a regular person’ or a ‘mortal’ meaning a person that has no ‘laureate’ from the system or that has a specific recognition or validation at system level in relation to the topics I want to discuss, wherein I then create the usual trap of ‘not being qualified’ at the eyes of others, which is part of the problem we have co-created in our society wherein we believe that one is only ‘capable’ if you are given a ‘license’ as a permission and validation that you in fact ‘know’ about something, all part of the same system of credentials and values that exist and that yes, are required at the moment in the system – but this does not diminish someone’s ability and capacity to do the same or even more than what a person with a license has.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that others would only accept or consider me to be reliable if I had some sort of recognition ‘out in the system’ so that a person then would not reject an interview with me – and within this I forgive myself that I have actually accepted and allowed myself to assume what a person would ‘expect of me’ or the kind of ‘licenses’ they would expect me to have or the amount of knowledge that ‘they would want me to have’ in order to have a conversation with them, which is all, once again, speculation and ideas based on how I have seen for example the academic world operates in hierarchical levels wherein for example teachers and their apprentices are seen as ‘more than’ any other individual in the same institution.

This actually comes from my own experiences of imposing a superior value to people in academia in fact, people that I have considered as ‘too way up in the academic world’ and that I’ve perceived that everyone reveres to them, and that they are ‘not up for just any regular chat’ which I then realized it was false once that I got to know ‘important people’ that one would see on TV or in high academic circles and at the same time seeing them in their regular life just like any other ‘mortal’ therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having carried this idea of some people being ‘holier than thou’ based on my perception of the person being ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ or having some kind of ‘important academic position’ or being ‘an artist’ or else, who are all the individuals that I placed as ‘more than myself’ including politicians of course and probably kings just because of the whole propaganda and brainwashing that is created based on the amount of ‘importance’ we believe we must give certain individuals and ‘feel’ different toward them as well, instead of realizing we are in fact equals and no amount of knowledge and information should make anyone ‘holier’ than another as it’s all based on mind values, on knowledge and information and yes, we are ultimately all made of flesh and bones and are all mortals in fact.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever learn from my family how to behave with ‘well known individuals’ and politics and people that I have considered as ‘rich’ and ‘very important people’ – apparently – that I kind of learned that I should revere in a way, and act even more service-like which is absolutely – excuse the word – fucked up. I realize that this comes from me witnessing how my family would revere to politicians whenever they would come to parties and kind of even change their stance to appear more service-like and ‘affable’ and ‘giving them the keys to their house’ so to speak, as if these individuals were ‘more’ than any other guest in the house. This comes of course from the imposition of value/power/authority and even ‘fame’ and recognition to particular individuals based on the position that they have in society for example – therefore

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I should get even ‘nervous’ or up to the expectation of having someone ‘popular’ or ‘famous’ or ‘well known’ talking with me because of imposing the same experiences that I got from witnessing my family and how they would behave with ‘important people’ like artists or politicians and within this, copy the exact same experience that I would perceive others would have around these people, which was that of excitement, nervousness and wanting everything to be ‘top notch’ FOR THEM, which is the whole ‘service-like’ attitude that I learned one ‘should have’ when dealing with someone that is considered famous, more important or – god, dare I say – more valuable than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still see a person that is ‘well known’ through the eyes of knowledge and information, through the eyes of the mind wherein I see a person based on the amount of recognition, fame, perceived authority based on the position they occupy or else and within this forget about equality because I still place this veil of ‘importance’ over others, which is of course unacceptable as I realize that we are all in fact one and equal and that we have in fact consolidated and continued to accept the current status quo based on this mind-hierarchy that we act out almost ‘by default’ toward perceived important/famous people, which is unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever see some of those ‘famous individuals’ as ‘more than myself’ and this comes from the time when I would approach any artist for example and request their autograph as a child and how excited I would get from these experiences, because I learned that people that were on TV then ‘were more famous than’ anyone else therefore associating value with ‘being on TV’ or any other ‘well known position,’ which implies immediately placing myself as ‘not up to that height’ so to speak – but really, all of these ideas of importance, height, prestige, fame, recognition are all values that I have associated with a ‘superiority’ instead of realizing that they are in fact words that denote the actual work and life experience as well as trajectory that an individual or group of individuals have crated throughout their life to get to certain positions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to add a positive and superiority value to the word ‘prestige’ wherein the fact that someone can be well known, respected and has achieved quite a lot in their life becomes an ‘added value’ in my perception and thus placing myself as ‘less than’ them based on such achievements, which I realize is a point of self-separation when one identifies oneself or another based on the amount of knowledge and information they have or ‘how’ other individuals perceive them, which is all seen through the mind’s eye.

 

Instead prestige is simply recognizing the well-known work and recognition of an individual’s life experience and contributions wherein their work  and their deeds speak by themselves and as such widespread recognition and respect is an outflow of their life, their work and contributions being supportive for others as well, which is definitely what we should all direct ourselves to aim at being and becoming in our lives, to leave our lifetime of supporting to create a world that is best for all, and so live self-respect, which means that someone’s work and recognition becomes their own life and what they say/do and act on, which is nothing more or nothing less than life, it is simply an example that we can learn from and so also see as the potential that exists within each one of us.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the word ‘fame’ with an experience of superiority and ‘more than’ others comparison, instead of realizing that fame as being known or being excellent in something is not an ‘added value’ to another individual, but simply what they have achieved through their own direction and creation – whether it is for ‘good fame’ or ‘bad fame’ it is simply the general perception of ‘who another is’ based on their words and actions. Therefore, there is no need to add an experience to fame or who am I toward perceived ‘famous people’ because it is simply recognizing another’s life, trajectory, expertise and/or mastering in certain fields as yet another example of what we can do and become if we are equally diligent in the work and dedication to achieve something, which is a general trait that ‘famous people’ get to do, whether it is for constructive or destructive outcomes.

Of course the way to live fame a constructive type of fame is to become well known by one’s living example of being a solution to the world instead of a destructive role model for sure, so in that our own perceived ‘values’ over one another would have to veer toward valuing as in recognizing another individual as an example of our own potential based on how one lives by principles that recognize our equality and that consider at all times what is best for all.

Therefore, it is not to see these words of prestige, fame, recognition as a synonym of ‘superiority’ at all, but rather seeing them as the result and consolidation of their names as public figures based on the actual work they do, based on how they have contributed to the common good, which is ultimately someone that I can definitely say is respectable and for sure someone that should be recognized by all people for what they’ve done/ achieved in their lifetime. This is then the physical living and work talking for itself, which doesn’t make the person ‘more’ than another either, but simply realizing that yes they have done the actual work, they have done the actual walking of a particular point that took them to be in a certain position that they are in the world system.

 

 

 

It is interesting how even culturally we learn how to create a particular excitement or even fear when being around a particular ‘famous person,’ as if they were in fact having this ‘divine aura’ around them which doesn’t make sense as they are just humans too. Sure, one can have a particular fondness toward another individual but ultimately any person that does believe that they are ‘superior’ to others based on their fame, their work, their knowledge and information, their lifetime experience is in fact then acting from ego, and as such it is for sure their point to ultimately realize. But here, my point of self-responsibility is to ensure that I am not the one that is coming from/approaching another based on these value-systems that have led us to continue stratifying our society – this is unacceptable.

So, the corrective process is that when and as I see myself going into any slight refraction of a doubt when it comes to my ability and capability of approaching a person that I have defined as ‘important’ or ‘well known’ I make sure I identify what is it exactly that is creating the shift so that I can see what fear or what expectation came up that created such experience, and so I bring myself to the awareness that we are all human beings and there is no one ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ and so I should not place my mind’s eye as the ones to decide ‘who I am’ toward another or jumping into conclusions of ‘what the other people would ask of me’ but rather ensure that my decision to approach another is based on first of all, equality, support and the openness to dialogue and work together within the principle of what is best for all. I realize that I have to ensure that I do not use my past and my past experiences as a limitation toward approaching people or my fears/excitements or general ideas of ‘superior people’ as a veil for me to not act in common sense which means: being my own foundation and structure to give myself direction to do something based on the assessment of my ability and capability to do so.

In this, ‘who’ the other person is becomes irrelevant which means, my perception upon them is not to be used as a determining factor for it – this is about me assessing the benefit of such conversation, the potential supportive outcome of it that is best for all parts. Within this, is also necessary and quite valid to make a personal assessment of where I would require to sharpen up my studies and my review of information in order to be ‘up to date’ with what we could discuss in a conversation, but this does not mean that it’s also going to be some kind of ‘duel’ of knowledge and information either, because the starting point of this is precisely to share what each person gets to know of, understand and/or create as solutions that we can all share and learn from. Therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I would have to be at certain level of ‘knowledge and info’ to be ‘ready’ to talk with another, which in a way it does make sense to be prepared but not to the level of ‘wanting to know it all’ already, otherwise, what would be the point of having a conversation with another if not to learn more from each other and so strengthen ourselves equally.

 

I realize that this is also the influence of the current debate programs and interview TV shows wherein some of the interviewers challenge the person they interview sometimes to the point of ‘who knows more’ or ‘who can win’ which is the whole ‘debating’ aspect that is actually detrimental to the public watching because we then recreate the notion that someone has to be absolutely right and others absolutely wrong or dismissed – instead of realizing that a conversation with people that I have not so much previous contact with should be about having them share their perspectives, learn and take what’s best as well as learn how to listen to the points that I might not agree with, however by creating an antagonism only on that we create further rifts and problems where the actual common ground can be dismissed, which is not cool, not acceptable in a world wherein it’s easier to wage wars than creating dialogues to establish ‘peace’ so to speak.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive people that have written out books or published an exorbitant amount of words as ‘more than myself’ and within this, realizing that if the starting point is placing ‘who am I’ as an individual against another individual, ego will always create a barrier and prevent me from actually expanding and rather learning from others. In this thus, I realize that I have to ensure that my own limitations carried from the past ‘learned inferiority’ toward certain individuals doesn’t become an obstacle to me actually stretching out hands and creating contact with people that I had regarded as ‘more’ than myself, and to always realize that whenever I see anyone as ‘more than myself’ I become the very continuation of the problem I am  trying to resolve which is inequality, which is the continuation of hierarchical values and the notion of ‘power’ and superiority embedded onto something/someone above ‘the rest.’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have given up at ‘first try’ after contacting certain individuals, without realizing that my approach was still coming from this already ‘made up expectation’ of ‘they won’t accept/ they won’t even reply’ or else, which is then what happened and then became a form of ‘defeatism’ in terms of trying to approach certain individuals.

In this thus my sole responsibility is to ensure that I realize that it’s not ‘me’ that is asking for that interview, it’s about me as the principle and foundation I stand for and as with the purpose of learning from others, of sharing supportive outcomes for humanity that is asking for such interview – therefore I do not have to place myself as ‘my persona’ before me when doing my job which is to establish connections and communication with people no matter ‘who’ it is.

In this, I realize this is the point to apply, a practical equality toward people and stopping my mind’s view upon others based on ‘who’ I perceive they are, and instead I commit myself to focus on their words, their work, their visible and practical solutions and contributions to society, which is what I am interested as a person that represents an organization that stands for the principle of what is best for all life.  In this I have to also recognize myself and to not ‘devalue’ me based on the perceived ‘validations’ I would require to ‘make me/my words/what I stand for’ as ‘valid’ or ‘recognizable’ in the world system, as I realize that there is currently no such ‘validation’ and due importance given to the consideration and realization of life in equality, of supporting one another, of truly working together for best for all outcomes and so , how can I expect me/us to have such ‘recognition’ in a world that recognizes and places fame on the exact opposite?

There’s no visible honoring toward life yet so we have to build it from scratch so I commit myself to stop expecting some form of ‘validation’ or ‘recognition’ or ‘credits’ in order to give further steps of expansion within myself and my process of communicating with others – and instead rather recognize that it is our own work, our own consistency and dedication that which makes us valuable as the principles that we stand and live by – ultimately that’s just the value of life for life and that’s rather what I decide to dedicate myself to honor, to honor life not world-system credentials and ‘values’ placed in separation of who we really are as equals, which is also what’s worth while supporting and sharing with others.

 

I commit myself to imposing money-talk to others too wherein I value others based on ideas related to energy and money, which is not who we really are and so I rather develop a communication based on living principles where equality stands as our undeniable common ground to work on.

 

All Life Is Equal

 

Read people recognizing Life in Equality in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

 

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.

 


418. Deschooling Ourselves: Why and How to Do it?

 

unlearn rethink

After watching Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves workshop video, I realized how important it is to be aware of how much of ‘who we become’ as a person in our society and in relation to others is shaped in and by the schooling system. To this, it would also be unfair to only look at school as the only one problem there is in our society, because schools were created by us human beings in the first place so there’s a human mind behind it all; albeit for all practical purposes, the idea of ‘education’ and the blind trust that parents confer to the schooling system makes of the schooling system set up the most easy way to actually justify integrating values, beliefs, behaviors, ways of thinking reality, ways of relating to others, ways of survival among one another where we are geared to continually having to prove ourselves to be ‘the best’ or ‘the worst’ in a system of standardized marks.

School is also the place where we come to first get in contact with people of different backgrounds, where our initial social clash begins which leads us to start inherently doing a process of preference over principle, which is how we come to build our very first friendships and relationships, where we as children do not  have a full awareness of us in fact being in a closed-system where one gets to be friends with people that could or could not afford some private/public school, and so already from there, we start classifying ourselves based on our socioeconomic background.

I have to say it is also unfortunately the place where parents place their most trust on within the systemically integrated belief that ‘whatever happens in school is just fine’ and that teachers and the government system behind it as education system ‘knows best’ – while parents mostly see this as some free time from their parental duty – or are deliberately also kept busier with long hours of work which is leading to unattended children growing up in front of TV’s, computers plugged into the myriad of boundless information on the internet and learning tricks about drugs and developing sexual deviances as a way to escape the inherent anguish of living in a world where parents must work 24/7 to get money to live, and where you as a child/youngster will invariably have to end up doing the same… I mean, who would not react to that expectative of one’s ‘future’ in this broken world? Yet we dismiss it and actually have come to blame schools, blame media, blame the government, blame parents and so as you can see blaming each other for the problems we have co-created in our society of which school is one great and pivotal pillar of.

 

robots

 

There’s a complete structural problem in our society and a large part of it has to do with how we haven’t questioned our sacred institutions like schools and the way they exist nowadays, which from my perspective are more like prisons or reformatory cells, they have always been the brewing ground for behavioral conditioning, human experimentation and indoctrination which goes unnoticed within the idea that there’s always an authority that somehow has a ‘greater understanding,’ because we place our trust on systems of validation, certification and quality-proof standards placed by some organization we’ve defined as government, which are a few individuals that have unfortunately proven to be easily bribed to rather arrange laws and regulations in a way where other individuals can be benefitted from it all – either for profit, for further population control or both. All of this apparatus of authority is currently quite skewed of course and it is rather alarming since school is the spot where kids are mandated to go to every single day – yet, even if kids do not go to a school per se, the same principles of it are still embedded in the way that we organize ourselves, in the way that we related with one another, in the way that we value ourselves, in the way that we choose what we want to do with our lives, in the way that we behave with our families and friends. The sheer idea of ‘education’ as it exists now is only a reinforce and catalyzer of essential mind and behavioral patterns that have existed within us as human beings since the beginning of our species, as they are all existent in the very core programming and functioning of our minds. So, what have we done then? We have only perfected the mechanism to make it a continuous mandatory process for kids to get to like/dislike certain things and make decisions based on, well, mostly fear of survival so that we can keep the same slave system mechanism running. But is it really the system that is the enslaving one? Or is it that we haven’t really realized where the real policeman ‘in the head’ resides in? Hint, the answer is already given in that question.

 

In Charles Eisenstein’s Deschooling Ourselves, a group of people walk through and expose all the behaviors, personalities, quirks and fears that they have become throughout their schooling years, wherein either one would stick to the rules and follow or dissent and rebel in whichever way possible, one would start valuing oneself according to the kind of work you deliver to the teacher, another would seek to prove the teacher wrong, another would seek be approved by them, another just wanted to break free and rebel against all rules… this also included some other more personal aspects like  because in school we also have mostly faced some of our most embarrassing or stressing moments.

I’ve shared before about crying over getting lost during math calculation exercise and not being able to keep track of it, getting so anxious that I burst into tears. From my experience, I’ve shared before about the usual pressure one would get when being ‘on the top’ and so having some classmates trying to ‘take me down/take ‘my place’ and directly letting me know how they would win over me and how they would see me fall and be glad for it, etc. All kinds of bullying also comes when being the one that sticks to all rules and does things ‘to the T,’ which to me for example later on became a way to simply dislike being used as an example for the class, which led me to then want to hide while  still wanting to keep my sense of public recognition. This influenced the way I shaped my main personalities: I started to desire being ‘cool’ for any other reason other than getting straight A’s …  and kind of a ‘rebel’ by liking non-popular things so that I could make it clear that I wasn’t ‘the teacher’s pet’ either for example.

All of these patterns are part of a lengthy self-investigative process that is contained in the pages of this blog as I’ve seen that most of the times when investigating any mind pattern, word or behavior, it invariably goes back to one of those ‘memories of schooling days’ and how some of the most ingrained fight or flight patterns, behaviors, attitudes, self-definitions like qualities and virtues, likes and dislikes as well as career choice a.k.a. who I wanted to be and become as a person, were shaped based on the same education system. To me it also involved a process of sharing a room with either 6 other kids in my first school and then moving onto being with over 35 in the following schools and universities, which is already quite a challenge when it comes to seeing how it is virtually impossible for teachers to be truly aware of students in large classes.

School becomes ‘the place’ where we are supposed to ‘find our ground in life’ and so, it’s quite obvious that we only become copies of the copies of stereotypes that we also acquire from the usual imprinting of professions we are supposed to go veering toward from an early age as part of the social-structure – however along with that, we got movies, TV shows imprinting a whole different set of values with which we believe we are in fact ‘making a free choice’ to do what we want, but we have never even questioned whether what ‘we want’ is in fact something we truly developed for ourselves or something we learned from school or saw on TV or internet.

In essence, we have never really been genuinely ‘ourselves’ as all we have become is copy of the copy of the coping and survival mechanisms we’ve shaped as personalities or professions, and that’s what I mostly have realized also when it comes to investigating myself and my ‘core personalities’ and how everything that I developed as ‘my personality’ was a collection of bits and pieces of popular counter-culture aspects along with a decision to antagonize the system no matter what, while remaining ‘safely’ in it at the same time since I would still like to be the obedient straight A person in school, lol, even if I tried to ‘rebel’ at the end… it just would not work as I couldn’t simply fathom myself being irresponsible at school which involved a sense of responsibility of ‘school being the one thing that I had to do as my main activity’ throughout the years.

What is behind that, for example? Fear of being punished, fear of being left behind, fear of losing my self-value and definition? Fear of losing my ‘throne’ as the first one in the class? Well, these points are definitely something that come to define ‘who one is’ based on a particular setting like school, where we actually acquire this way of thinking based on achievements, values, marks, behaviors and responsibilities that lie not within a common sensical practical outcome, but according to doing things the way they are asked to be done and according to a ranking system that is in no way based on the particular skills and abilities that are unique to each child, that is simply not part of our school system.

At the end of that Deschooling workshop by Eisenstein, the ultimate question remains: how to Deschool ourselves? And I simply realized that actually walking this process of self-investigation, of writing oneself to freedom, of developing self-honesty wherein we investigate our core patterns within ourselves is the best way to deschool ourselves, because in investigating our behaviors, our personalities, our fears, our manias, our weaknesses and strengths, our relationships, our friendships, our first traumas, our first embarrassments, our bullying experiences, our relationship to authority, our ability to learn, our qualities and deficiencies, comparison and judgment toward others, our discriminatory or empathic behaviors, our friendships, our enemies… all of these aspects that one actually gets to first live in school – most of the times – are part of what one can write out for oneself, investigating each pattern within the awareness of writing the experience out to identify how is it that one has limited oneself in such pattern.

So for example, if I had continued to only value myself according to what marks I would get in school, and feel ‘bad’ for getting a lower mark, then I would have continued to seek to get some ‘straight A’s’ or the equivalent way to get such ‘superiority validation’ somewhere else in my world, just because of not wanting to get to the opposite side of that and so lose my self-validation/recognition. So I had to work with understanding ‘who am I as recognition’ and the desire thereof, where am I not valuing myself, how have I accepted and allowed myself to only value myself according to achievements at school? Or how have I believed myself to only be a brain that thinks well? Where am I not actually seeing myself beyond this limited valuing perspective and really seeing through a broader potential that I had probably and most likely would not have developed if I had continued to only stick to my personality and personal desires.

So, deschooling ourselves involves a practical and continuous application of walking a process to self-forgive and let go of all the plethora of perceived flaws, definitions, beliefs, limitations, fears and rather work with developing real self-value, real self-acceptance and skills to develop ourselves to our utmost potential. In this, for example, I had to stop the desire to be recognized by others, while at the same time also walking the opposite polarity – because, as one walks one pattern you also get to understand how the mind works in polarities. And so I realized that along with my desire to be recognized, I also got to fear being recognized and so actually sought to ‘hide’ or become a rather ‘low-key’ individual while still holding on this ‘recognition’ point in place, so essentially I would create my own inner conflict which I even externalized in the way that I would dress in a rather extravagant manner while  at the same time using my body’s posture to indicate that I didn’t want to be seen, so I would hunch while walking because I believed that standing straight was ‘showing off’ and only able to be done by good looking girls for example, lol, yes all of this is a fine example of how we pollute our minds in fact.

So, this is just a tip of the iceberg example that one is actually able to investigate for oneself when looking at all the patterns we’ve become in our lives, not only from school but acquired from parents, from people we watch on TV, from the books we read, from the people we admire, from our friends and people around us, etc. As I’ve mentioned, we’ve become the copies of the copies and so the schooling system, the social system has become nothing but a reflection of these categories and identities existent and developed in our minds wherein we get lost in comparison, judgment and the idea of value in relation to ‘who we are’ within the system, all of which actually enables us to coexist within our current dog-eat-dog mentality, where all that matters is achieving personal glory regardless of who or what is abused and affected by it, or ‘collaterally damaged.’

 

I am a product of this society and I’ve had to walk this rather astounding process of deschooling myself,  of deprogramming myself in my mind while at the same time walking a process of self-creation, which is a continued process of self-investigation of every single moment, every single day wherein one continues to assert oneself as the new integration of common sense, of living principles, of a sense of commonality, of a consideration of what’s best for all, of not following an experience as to ‘how I feel’ or how I believe ‘I should feel/be like/act like/talk like’ to dictate who I am in the moment,  wherein it is a continuous process of letting go of any constrains and limitations that I have previously identified through writing, and have released through the process of self-forgiving behaviors, emotions, feelings, thinking patterns, ideas about myself so that I could then practically and actively work on stopping myself from running-through the same old programmed ‘me.’

Now I place my focus on attention on this self-creation process which is truly a first-timer for us all to be able to walk and do, because it is now that we are for the first time becoming more and more aware of things that were deeply rooted in the unconscious before. Now we are able to slowly but surely as humanity able to spot these patterns and behaviors with greater ease, and I have to say that this then a great opportunity and it does rejoice me to see more and more people starting to question themselves, and the overall world-system, which indicates there’s in fact a great opportunity existent here to change the direction of our lives if more and more people start waking up and smelling reality for what it is so that we can work together to correct and align it.

I must also say that when I speak of this process, it isn’t something I do ‘by myself’ nope, it would have been mostly more difficult I’d say – I walk with a group of people networked through the internet – around the globe – with whom we’ve shared our lives,  our writings for over 7 years now, keeping in constant processes of developing and strengthening our communication and feedback processes to ensure that we don’t get lost in this re-educational process we’re walking, which has to do little to nothing to any regular ‘schooling system,’ but we are all more than certain that more individuals must recognize the vital importance of implementing this self-investigation process as part of our schooling system, learning how to work with our minds as our thoughts, feelings, emotions, to learn how to effectively write them out and communicate about them while integrating a sense of self-support through developing common sense: the consideration of what is best for all. 

It is about time we realize that it makes complete sense to actually focus on empowering each other to learn how to best coexist as human beings rather than focusing on being liked by the teacher, or beating our classmates, or planning ways to get into a group of friends to ‘fit in,’ or planning our greatest success where we disregard another’s life of lack of opportunities and suffering that is and has become our collateral damage in this zero sum reality.

It is thus in our greatest and most common interest that we could all walk this self-education process of self-honesty which is a process of self-creation according to living principles to get to develop ourselves to our fullest potential, and so make it part of our educational programs in whichever way they take shape in the (near) future once that we more and more realize how detrimental and even harmful our current standardized type of educational systems are which actually stems from the skewed and misconstrued value systems in our minds.  

So, the best way to deschool ourselves, which is the same as saying the best way to change ourselves is definitely walking the Desteni I Process. There’s no greater set of tools in this world, nor greater group of people that commit themselves to support one another throughout this Journey to Life, to live in dignity and equality. And I can only encourage everyone to try it out for yourself, because if I had aimed at simply wanting to ‘change’ but not really investigating my mind and living patterns to the utmost degree, to really learn how to sweep behind the rug of my memories, my past, my experiences, to understand who am I within my mind and how to practically apply and establish solutions in my day to day living, I would have been equally lost in a constant yearning ‘for change’ but not really knowing how or where to start.

This isn’t an easy thing to do either, it’s probably the greatest commitment we’ll ever make in our lives, which is our commitment to actually learn how to live in the benefit of ourselves and all life considered. However, it will for sure be the most rewarding and long lasting for future generations as well.  

 

Recommend to Read:

Teacher’s Journey To Life

 

Remove the cords - self change -deschooling - desteni

Artwork by Damián Ledesma 

 

 

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The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


412. How Does Writing Affect Change in this World?

How is it that through me writing I can affect in changing the world? This is a seemingly big question but it does have rather simple considerations to better understand why is it that world change begins with self-change. First of all is about coming to  understand and realize that self-change begins with understanding who one is as the mind. How does this operate?  

 

What we see outside as the ‘mess of the world’ and all of the current wars, crisis, famine, poverty, disrespect and dishonor to one another is our creation.  How do we create this? Well, we are all participating in the world and we are all collectively tacitly agreeing that the misery, pain, suffering is just ‘what we agreed to,’ and so justify it with constructs like nations, money systems, races, religious constructs of all kinds including the religion of self as the ‘who I am’ as a personality compared to this/that person. What happens is that when we divide/split ourselves in these constructs, we become subject to what we know, are told, get taught which is all knowledge and information in our own mind. We then define ourselves entirely by what we learn throughout our living years and integrate it within ourselves as ‘how things are’ and not question it because ‘well it’s all that I’ve ever been/done so why should I even question it’? which includes thinking, feeling, becoming emotional, doing what our parents and authorities tell us we should do and so, by not questioning ourselves in our minds, we then of course by default do not question the world around us – and vice versa. In my case first came the questioning of the world, misery, problems around me and ‘out there in the world’ and later on questioning myself as the source and origin of this mess-world we have created.

 

What’s the role of writing oneself in beginning to understand the mess of this world as our creation?

Through writing we start seeing ourselves as words, through that we start developing our self-awareness which means getting to see ourselves beyond the veil of who we are as the mind, as a personality, as part of a particular culture, religion, education, family, political affiliation, preference or anything else that we’ve defined as ‘who we are’ and instead start questioning all of these ideas of ‘who I am’ as a first point of existential self-assessment. Otherwise, I mean, how can one ever get to a point of understanding about ‘the mess of this world’ if we see it as some kind of ‘amorphous mess created outside of ourselves’? It doesn’t make sense, does it? Where’s our role in it then? Whose victims would we then pose as if we believed we had ‘no say’ in how the world works? Absolute abdication of self-responsibility is what happens when we make ourselves subject to these ideas where one sees the problem ‘outside of oneself’ which is how through writing one starts understanding that the problem, the friction and conflict is derived from one’s participation in the mind, in one’s thoughts, feelings, emotions and living that out in the world as ‘our ways of coexisting/dealing with one another in the world’ which is then entirely mind based = not considering how we affect one another, what is involved in the decisions we make, who gets benefited and harmed by the tacit agreements we have as society.

Another aspect is that we tend to want to change ourselves/the world in quantum time/in one go, just because the water is ‘up to our necks’ which means one is having the consequences at the front door or already well into it and so there comes a desperation, an emotional experience attached to such consequence in a way that the ‘desire for change’ becomes just that, a yearning and fueling desire which is nothing else but an energetic experience that in the end amounts to anything, as an energetic experience in the mind doesn’t support us to change in itself, however we can use such mind experience to rather question ourselves about it: why does this sadness exist within me about how the world system operate? Are my emotions about the conflicts/wars going to create peace? Is my anger toward ‘the powers that be’ going to make any difference in how our society is hierarchically structured? And at the same time the other starting point can come through: does writing about myself, my mind patterns and habits going to amount to any form of change in this world? And within this I would say that there is no certainty other than the certainty we can give to ourselves that we are in fact, as a first point, actually beginning to question ourselves and introspect as to why and how the problems in this world are created based on the ways we think, act and speak as human beings, which are nothing else but broad categories to name our fears, desires, wants, obsessions, insecurities, value/worth perceptions, judgments, etc. All of this is what becomes the fabric of the world system as ‘the mess’ we believe we are separated from, which we are not as it is our day to day participation in this world as people in our minds that generate then the nature of the ‘world system’ which we tend to see ‘outside’ of ourselves or ‘too big’ to change.

 

 

Then, how will one’s writing process eventually become a solution for people starving, suffering and how do ‘I’ walking this written process amount to any of such world-solutions that are very needed?

 

Well, writing in itself as in ‘just writing’ is not a solution to it and there is a whole lot to understand as to how we have come to create the world system in the same mechanisms that we function as at a mind level. Writing enables us to identify how we operate within and without of ourselves, it assists in tracing the patterns and becoming aware of our responsibility to it. An example is getting to understand how we have come to agree to believe that wealth and poverty are acceptable, which is a belief within ourselves. It’s about investigating how we have kept countries in deliberate poverty and some others as deliberate royals in order to maintain the disparity going as the ‘legit’ reasons for poverty and wealth to exist and the ever present inequality. Poverty is the outflow of us not considering all beings as equally deserving the right to live in dignity and so believing that some countries/nations/corporations are meant to have ‘more power’ because (list/name justifications here) and within that, one falls into the trap to justify the existence of poverty and abuse with such reasons/justifications of why it ‘makes sense’ apparently to have rich and poor to such extremes in this world. Some of the reasons for poverty being that then, there will always be sufficient people living in survival mode that will be willing to work at no matter what ‘rate’ to get money to live and so in turn, serve the minority that has most of the power and control – money – to pay for it. In this, can’t we see that the reasons/excuses/justifications are exactly the same ones we have at an individual level when it comes to justifying one’s personal interests such as greed, not wanting to take self responsibility or wanting either a leader or a servant to do things for us? Same arguments apply, it’s our greed and self interest what drives this reality around, It’s who we are/what we accept in our minds that which exists as ‘how the system operates.’ Another example here: what is money if not a mind construct, an ‘agreement’ that we’ve come to place our blinding faith and word into to make it real – without such agreement and belief into it: money would be no different to the toy paper money that I used to play with as a child.

So what is the principle standing behind money? A belief in value – and what is a belief but a mind construct, a belief system, a set of accepted knowledge and information we impose onto reality, that we become it/embody it and stand in as the actual ‘living force’ of this entire mess; we are the ones that make it ‘functional’ through the ways we think, act and speak without consideration of how we affect each other’s lives, environments and minds with the ways in which we tacitly agree to participate in this society as a whole. And this is how through writing and understanding how our own programming, our own ‘environmental influence’ shapes how we behave, the decisions we make, the starting point of our decisions and how we interact with one another we come to realize that the unfortunate – but self-created – outflow of events as all the abuse in this world is actually nothing else but an outflow of who we are/what we have become ourselves in the mind: our acceptances and blind allowances. The most common example is once again money: one would not be able to ‘make it real’ if it wasn’t by a series of mind constructs, beliefs, ideas, perceptions, assumptions, indoctrination that we have come to assume as ‘how things operate.’

This is how when looking at a particular problem and investigating its causes, invariably, no matter which aspect of this reality you take into investigation as part of the world system, it will be able to be traced and brought back to self, to who we are as the mind, which is why this process of change is multi-dimensional, at all the various levels in which we have layered our reality.

 

 

Imagine you have a very neat white room with various essential objects to make it into a definition of a bedroom: bed, night table, a lamp, a dresser to name a few ‘essentials’ so to speak. But, what happens when one starts adding more and more decoration and furniture over time, from all the various preferences of the people living in it throughout the years, along with layers of paint, deterioration that comes with use, all the various complete overhauls of the space’s purpose etc. Of course this room will end up containing all those changes throughout space and time accumulated as layers of ‘time’ according to all the people that have used that bedroom/space.  So, getting it back to that initial pristine white room with the essentials to function will take a while, a cleaning/dismantling process within the consideration that just ‘destroying’ the room is not an option. The same applies for ourselves as our individual and global process: it will most certainly take a long time to do the changes we want to see or envision can be implemented in this world and in our personal lives. However why waiting for such ‘ideal’ if we know beforehand that ideals don’t come or appear as some kind of ‘spontaneous creation’: things/events/circumstances are always directed, there’s someone’s effort and intellect placed into it, and that’s where we go back to realizing that it is us that create such ‘global decay’ over time, because the Earth in itself was quite fine managing itself – so the ‘mess’ we perceive of this world as a separate point from ourselves, is in fact a life and a deception that we have to become self-honest about: we’ve created it ourselves and so it’s about becoming self-honest to be able to take self-responsibility here.  

Back to the example of the bedroom over time: when one is absorbed in the mind, we tend to not see the connection between the mess of the room we have around us as our environment and our direct participation in having actually turned that room into the mess it is, and not only ‘us’ but also containing the previous inhabitant’s traces and past decorations/use and deterioration of the place – this is exactly what we have inherited as this world and what we currently live as in our own bodies and lives. So we know that it won’t be an ‘easy step’ to simply try and ignore our own participation in the creation of this mess and merely focus on being depressed, sad, angry or frustrated about the mess we see around us as that messy room. Why not instead dedicating ourselves to go dismantling the mess point by point, layer by layer of dust, deterioration, getting things sorted back into their place, getting rid of other things that are no longer required, doing the necessary reparation work, replacing any parts/components that have been overtly used and so essentially take the time, space and actual process to see how one can best improve one’s room according to also assessing the furniture/items you can still keep/use, some others that you can use as foundation to build something else with them that is more reliable/sturdy and with a renewed purpose. The same applies to our process in our minds: it’s about being able to assess one’s mind, personality, one’s participation in this world within such personality and see if what I am living/doing is in fact best for all, if what ‘moves’ us every day is only self-interest or if we have integrated some principles in our lives – therefore we can also become creative in such process as well, realizing our physical limitations in terms of money/space/time to create something, but definitely to not die merely ‘trying’ to change or to get to some developments, but simply make it our purpose of living: to get to live to our fullest potential as individuals and as a collective, humanity.  

 

Eventually, as more and more people start realizing that the mess, the problems, the perceived lack, crisis and problem in this world originate at a mind/individual level, by all the behaviors, ideologies, ways of interacting, what we accept and allow, thinking, how we feel about ourselves and each other becoming our starting point of ‘who we are’ then we can certainly start ‘connecting the dots’ or ‘filling in the gaps’ to see that the problem we would vastly usually see as something ‘separate from ourselves’ and believing ourselves to be ‘helpless to change,’ will be so no more – why? Because then one understands and comes to realize that things like sadness, helplessness, worry, fear, anger exist as an emotional experience that we blind ourselves from actually physically assessing what is and would be possible to change in this world, how can we correct or align things that are currently not working at an individual and collective level in the first place. That is also possible when one understands through writing out one’s personal process of self-investigating one’s mind that becoming sad, angry, frustrated at ‘the problems in the world’ or at seeing wars, poor people, hungry people, seeing other humans  as ‘the bad guys’ will not solve the problem, but merely reinforce the idea that we are the ‘victims’ as in ‘this is being done To us’ without realizing that we are in fact the victims of our own personal experience as emotions about it, which in the end stands as an obstacle to genuinely change –  or a comfortable lie/blindness as a justification to not change.

 

So in essence, does writing have an impact on the world around us?

Only writing in itself will not. Writing used as the tool of self investigation such as the writing of one’s patterns, behavior, preferences, fears, worries is a method to get to know ourselves and so get to understand how we operate/live, what we have come to accept and allow. Writing can also be something that promotes in itself change, that inspires people to actually start looking within themselves such as what we do here as part of this process of self-awareness and self-honesty, where we start questioning everything that we’ve been and so assess whether what we are, do, what we participate in at an individual or collective level in fact stands ‘the test of time’ which is a saying to point out that the mess is created when we do/act/think in ways that are not best for all, ways that only benefit ourselves and do not consider all parts/people/beings involved. So, this is something that would not be possible to assess if one hadn’t actually begun to write/explore one’s life, motivations, purposes and so take the directive action upon it, to physically start testing out these alignments as part of what we see makes sense to change in one’s life and one’s participation in our everyday living. For this, writing then becomes a ‘self-tracking/self-assessment’ tool so that we can also go understanding how ‘the way the world works’ is primarily a reflection of these same individual patterns we face at an individual level. Then, the world stops being this ‘amorphous mess’ and starts ‘making sense’ from the perspective that we see our direct outflow and consequence created by the way we  live in this world, what we come to ‘agree’ about and how that affects each other’s lives, which includes all living beings on Earth.

 

So, to get to world change, we require to first stop the mess, the continuous conflict and friction within ourselves in our minds and deliberately start aligning ourselves to practically assess in every moment whether what we do/decide to do is self-supportive for oneself and others, using words to script the new foundation of what we see is best to live by, words that benefit myself and everyone else as well. By doing this, one realizes that writing is the workshop process, it is a starting point for self-change. However the changes and solutions to affect world change do require global collective participation, which is how we will only be able to change people’s living conditions around the world when more and more people realize that we create ‘the world’ as a direct reflection of who we are in our minds, and that’s how the process of world change begins with self-change and one by one in our collective decision to structure solutions that place an order to our self-created chaos, we can come to generate solutions that will affect each other’s lives to better them.  This is essentially what self-writing does and from there, one can also start expanding into introspecting about the world system, investigating the sources of the problems and aligning them by our decision to do so, to do and agree what is best for all.

 

Try out the tools of Self-Support such as Writing, Self Forgiveness, Self  Honesty and Self Corrective Application at the online free course DIP Lite : http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

 

Support for mental disorders - Desteni I Process

 

To learn more about Writing Oneself to Freedom:


409. The Uncomfortable Truth

 

Estamos atados a nuestra mente 07

 

 

One of the reasons why this process cannot be done by ‘one individual alone’ is because we are very prone to creating our comfortable bubble where we believe that ‘nothing is happening, I don’t react, everything’s done, my mind is quiet’ and how else would it be if I remained in my own little world and my own little bubble!’ So that is certainly not walking process. Facing yourself as this world is not only facing ourselves in our own minds or as ‘the world system’ but facing each other as the mind we are and have become.

 

So, here I open up my recent reactions to the exposure of my own truth which is the state of the mind that we all have and how whenever someone dares to ‘show it all’ then I react ‘OH man! how dare that person do that!’ or ‘How can that exist within a person’s mind? which is all backchat that is in fact immediately dodging MY own responsibility to myself, my mind, my judgments instead of immediately reacting to ‘assess’ another’s mind/words/actions/behavior within me as the character of ‘politeness’ or keeping things in order and control, no different actually to how politics operate and I will open up this point of politeness and how it is in fact of course a façade and self-deception that as anything, can be walked through and rather turned into an expression of consideration, instead of a blanket used to cover up that which I ‘don’t want to see/face’ as myself which is essentially just postponing facing the inevitable which is the truth of who we are and have become as our minds, and so to not judge ourselves as the mind, but rather learn how to support ourselves, how to understand ourselves as the mind, how to self-forgive and so walk/live the corrections which is the real direction for self-change required here.

 

The most important thing within this is to realize that taking one’s mind or another’s mind personally is a reaction, it is of the mind and it is only perpetuating the same problem we have co-created because it is like realizing that one participating in one’s mind is like giving fuel to a fire. So, basic point here is also to realize that we’re all in a process and even if one is aware of the tools and ‘knows’ about the principle of self-responsibility, it doesn’t imply that ‘that person is going to take self responsibility’ or ‘is not reacting at all now.’ We are all walking through it and what’s more important: if I react to another and turn it as a point of having my expectations ‘unfulfilled’ it means that there’s a point of expectation that I haven’t really sorted out and a point of reaction toward words/actions that exist in one’s mind behind such ‘disappointment,’ and that because this mind exists within me and everyone, then it is my responsibility to actually take responsibility for it – No more and no less, no matter ‘who’ I believe is triggering an experience within me, I have to be able to stand absolute regardless of what is being said/done either personally or indirectly.

 

I realize that my responsibility does not extend only to ‘myself’ but others as well,  and that’s where I tend to simply think that well, I can ignore the person/situation and not make a fuzz about it – but if the person is already walking a process  and they are already working on themselves to stop the mind, then it is absolutely my responsibility to support another within my possibility and ability to do so,  as that is exactly what I would like and want another to do with myself as well, which is actually what I have lived through these past years of being supported as part of a group walking this process of unveiling the ‘uncomfortable truths’ of ourselves as the mind, that which we have kept secret and ‘veiled’ throughout time.

So here is a self-reminder how everything works in reverse in the mind: we have to be cautious when things seem ‘too stable’ or ‘not much happening’ and instead whenever conflict emerges to be grateful for it as it is unveiling an aspect of myself, of ourselves that we haven’t faced as is the case here.  

 

 

The Human Being, being Sensitive to Discord, Disharmony, Disease – are very easily Motivated to Seek Out the Harmony within themselves as the Equilibrium of Multiple Systems, Interacting within Relationship of a Closed System, as a Balanced Perfection for the Sole Purpose of Keeping the being Engaged at All Times; to Seek the Equilibrium and to Keep the Equilibrium going, and where Mastery will be to become a Master of Love, and Stay within the Geometrical Equilibrium.[…]

This Principle has been Very Cleverly used to Keep the Physical Reality in a Form of Stable Control. With None of the Beings in Multiple Forms Realising How their Existence has been Systemized to be Followers of Reaction and Instinct. Followers of Pre-Planned Preprogrammed Designs, with Rewards along the Way when Equilibrium Spots are Hit within the Map of the Book of Life.” Bernard Poolman

 

 

 

This is the realization that everything that I judge in another exists within me.

 

Character extraction

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Responsibility and taking it All back to self at the individual level.

Based on the usual judgments I have created upon people that I perceive have something ‘wrong’ in them to, for example, be what I have defined as deliberately ‘evil’ or deliberately ‘deceptive’ or deliberately ‘conflictive’ and perceiving myself that ‘I could not stand such individual’ is demonstrating to me one thing only: where and how I have not yet considered such individual as myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from another within the consideration that if the person is too mind possessed, too conflictive, then I don’t want to have anything to do with the person, which is essentially playing what I had criticized in our society wherein those that were mentally challenging to society and deemed as ‘crazy’ or ‘too out of the loop’ so to speak, were exiled and sent out of the main centers of society, as they actually posed a threat to the order, the ‘system’ in itself which I also conceived as a reason to simply not have to ‘deal with’/walk with and actually learn how to assist and support ourselves as individuals that can be mentally challenging when it comes to how we operate in our minds.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become my own denial as in wanting to not face or excuse myself from having to confront/face a part of me as another individual that exists in fact in each one of us that have a mind, wherein when seeing patterns in another that I believe myself ‘incapable’ of doing or not being able to ‘fathom’ them, I go into a helplessness situation toward that point/person/mind that I am in fact then still reacting to within the belief that ‘ I cannot conceive how that can exist in another/ why they say/do things in such ways’ without realizing that who we all are and have become in our minds is essentially the description of being mind controlled, being schizophrenic as in being separated from each other, from our physical body and have become nothing else but ‘agents’ to consciousness, to the mind which we here understand that it has never existed within the principle and consideration of what is best for all because the starting point and origin of our mind was never meant to support our self-realization of being in fact equals and one in this reality and so

When and as I see myself creating a denial/existing in denial based on how I react to another’s mind based on backchat, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions and expectations of ‘how another should act/be by now’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that here I am going into the assumption that people have had to ‘change’ already according to time and process application, without realizing that me reacting to another’s mind possession or patterns is in fact indicating my own patterns, my own reactions that I still have to deal with/walk through which is the whole point here. I realize that it is not about ‘the other person’ as it is all about myself, my own reactions to words/patterns/behaviors that exist within each one of us as mind consciousness systems that even if we know ‘how to support ourselves’ with self-supportive tools, I am here being the proof that going into denial, helplessness, disbelief, disappointment about others is really only about myself that am still reacting to people’s minds, processes and experiences.

 

I commit myself to when facing a person that is in a particular mindset that I have defined as ‘tough’ or ‘challenging’ that I then place myself in the position of understanding which is a practical humbleness that I have to practice wherein instead of looking for someone else to ‘take the ball’ I rather read/hear the person’s words and see how can I best assist and support myself to understand the person and so be able to in turn support another within  placing myself in another’s shoes so to speak – which practically means living humbleness without expectations of ‘what the person should already know by now’ as we have proven ourselves as human beings that ‘lessons learned’ have come and gone and we have repeated the exact same mistakes, which shows then to what extent I have to remind myself that it isn’t as ‘easy’ to change or to expect change from others instead of first working with myself to ensure that I am in fact that point of change and the becomes the living example of how it is possible to walk with and support another as myself, regardless of ‘who’ that another is, ‘what’ they say or how they present themselves as I then recognize and realize at all times that ‘that another person is myself too.’ And this is the essential aspect of facing our equality: nothing of what exists in another is really ‘separate’ from myself, and so

I commit myself to live by the principle of really stopping any expectation upon another, any idea of ‘how another should be/act like/live by now’ within ideas, beliefs or perceptions of who I believe another to be – and instead focus on myself, on actually ensuring that I am not immediately diverting my attention to ‘another’ but to first and foremost focus on myself as it would be kind of pointless to try and ‘support another’ if I am reacting even in the most subtle ways.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to see my reaction as ‘disappointment’ but I realize that this would be like wearing a ‘good doer’ suit wherein it is  perceived as  more ‘benevolent’ to believe I experience disappointment upon myself and others upon who I created expectations about ‘who they are’ but  instead I recognize the ‘disappointment’ as the façade to create a form of victimization, because it’s seen with a ‘better light’ at the eyes of others, but in fact it was just an experience of giving  up, not knowing what to do/how to solve situations and problems wherein I then go into the experience of ‘I do not know what to do/what else to say’ and in doing so, rendering the situation, the person simply ‘gone’ and ‘obsolete’ – which is no different, once again to how we treat mentally ill people in our society, wherein because don’t take the time to walk with them, we simply locked them out, treat them as schizophrenics, paranoids with dissociative personalities and never have in fact taken the time to investigate what they represent as a part of ourselves, as the mind and so to not judge the person as the actual physical living flesh they are, but to simply learn to observe, to recognize the mind for what it is, and so be able to develop ways to assist and support oneself and others to best be able to walk through our mind and to always stick to principle instead of allowing personal vendettas or personal experiences and points taken personal from deviating ourselves from this process wherein for the first time we are doing what has never been done and what we as human beings don’t like doing which is: seeing ourselves as the mind, introspecting, self-investigating, which this includes not only ‘myself’ but also learning how to walk with others, their minds and configurations, to understand how and why they ‘came to be’ who they are as the mind and so never miss the point of realizing that no matter ‘how bad’ or how ‘evil’ I may perceive another, I am only judging another’s mind with my own mind which means that this is a point that obviously exists within me and here to self-forgive.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having harbored throughout many years the idea that because we are in this process, we simply do not ‘intend’ any ‘evil’ against one another, and so in this creating the assumption that because we understand principles, then it’s done, there’s no more frictions or conflicts, backchats beliefs toward one another, but this is simply not so. I’ve realized how much work it actually takes to really integrate this point of self-change and my point here to take self responsibility for is the experience of just projecting my own giving up to another as in ‘not knowing what else to do’ and seeing another as a ‘lost case’ instead of actually realizing that this mind /this person/this situation is actually a gift wherein I am demonstrating and mirroring back to myself where it is that I still have to work with within myself, within my mind, within my expectations and stopping them, within the memories that get activated within me whenever I have been throughout my life subject to any form of another’s mind projection as I see and realize that in the past I accepted and allowed this to affect ‘me’ because I then had no context or understanding of who we are as the mind and therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create the thought pattern of ‘humanity is evil’ when I was in elementary school and I was subject to bullying for being the ‘star of the class’ and have kids stop talking to me or telling me how they were going to ‘defeat me’ and ‘bring me down’ and ‘win over me’ wherein I created an extensive amount of stress, apprehension and general I could say depression at age 7-8 wherein I could not fathom why these kids that were supposed to be my friends, my classmates were ‘getting at me.’ In this, I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to go into the experience of ‘I rather just not be ‘as good as I’ve been’ so that ‘they’ can have the spot they want and ‘I’ stop being the problem for them’ – without realizing that in this I would have given up on myself and making their words a ‘reality’ as a point for me to make decisions based on what others think/believe/say about myself or toward ‘me.’ So I realized by support of my mother that that was not the way and that I simply didn’t have to ‘listen to others’ but still, this ‘spine’ that emerged from these situations and later on becoming more aware of how we operate toward another as human beings in this world, made me feel powerless toward ‘the evil’ in this world and the actual nastiness and secrecy and deliberate hate that exists between human beings, which is how I then created the experience of being ‘too sensitive’ to these things which is why I then became a ‘hard ass’ so to speak so as to be able to cope better with all of these experiences that I went through while growing up and ‘taking the heat’ of things, while seeing myself in a constant ‘battle’ so to speak, which is why I also developed this mentality of having to be on a ‘defense mode’ most of the times toward those that I perceive are ‘out to get me.’

I realize that this is the modus vivendi that we all have, and that I’m no different to any other individual and I bet we have all created and built up our ‘walls’ of defense so that no one can really ‘get us’ or get to see the actual vulnerability that we all have as human beings, because this is understood as an opportunity to abuse a form of trust, of intimacy and understanding – so I see that because I’ve done this myself, I’ve been there myself, I can then understand why in the mind we tend to automate defense-mode and ‘attack-modes’ toward one another in the belief that ‘we have to defend ourselves.’

The  only thing that requires to be ‘defended’ is who we are as ego, because Life is simply recognized and supported.  

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have re-enacted, re-experienced within myself the same experiences of shock, sadness, disbelief and mostly  helplessness toward others such as the memory when I saw my ‘friends’ in school talking to each other’s ears during lunchtime and looking at myself and when I tried to join them, they simply ignored me, which is when I decided that I would have to learn how to be alone – and in this, allowing this secrecy and these backchats and ‘conspiracies’ about me to get everyone in the group to ‘dislike me’ to define ‘who I would be’ toward everyone else which is how I then started developing a constant state of distrust, having very few people as ‘friends’ and generally toward human beings creating this general idea that ‘everyone is evil’ so I could not like or trust people easily, which in a way it was cool as I was seeing the nature of who we are as the mind – but the problem is that I took it personally and I believed that ‘the world was out to ‘get me down’’ and that people wanted ‘my position’ in school/in my life or that ‘wanted’ my life, which lead me to essentially have virtually no friends, specially no ‘female’ friends as I considered that it was easier to ‘get at me’ or get to ‘steal’ the people I liked or my friends – lol which my fear became somewhat true at some point – but I see that this is all just what I have created in my mind, as my memories that I’ve loaded based on that initial disbelief, sadness, helplessness toward others’ words and having taken them personally, and so as a ‘result’ simply managing to become a ‘tougher’ person which was nothing else but the expression I had to ‘pull out’ in order to defend myself and have ‘no one to fuck with me’ which of course is not the solution, as this ‘stance’ of self-defense or being in constant ‘vigilant’ mode also leads us to perpetuate the state of wars within and wars without.

 

So in this I realize that If I am in fact here to embody stability and harmony as myself and toward others, I have to first ensure that I am not conditioning my behavior based on ‘how others act’ and so ‘act as a response To Them’ as this would be then Re-acting, responding, replying, reminding myself ‘who I should be’ toward another based on memories, emotions, beliefs, expectations, assumptions  – all of which is of the mind and all of which I cannot trust when being here with another, reading/hearing/sharing words with another and so in this

I commit myself to ensure that whenever I read something that is directed towards ‘me’ and I perceive it as a form of attack or slander, I stop and I breathe. And I ensure that I am stable and that I am not rehashing my past memories and experiences of ‘not knowing how to deal with this attack’ as in primary school – but instead immediately ground myself within the realization that these words are coming from another mind as part of the mind that I am also existing as, and as such, reacting in any way with fears, judgments, emotions and beliefs is nothing else but perpetuating the problem = not taking self-responsibility for myself, therefore I direct myself then to take into consideration how can I best support that individual and do so the same way I would like it to be done to myself, and actually seeing or ‘reminding’ myself that that person is a part of me that I am here to support as I have vowed to do so for myself in this process.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist within the façade that ‘everything should be fine’ because ‘there is no conflict’ and as such maintain this belief or experience of ‘everything is cool’ or ‘workable’ and whenever  a point of conflict emerges in my world and reality,  then I go into a form of ‘blame’ toward the person/point that emerged as ‘conflict’ for ‘disrupting the workable/agreeable situation’ which is in fact only pointing to myself where it is that I want to maintain a form of control over how I believe the situation should be, and how even if I have tried to ‘embrace conflict’ there was an expectation of such conflict being ‘solved’ already and so when the point repeats/reactivates I go into a helplessness state as in the belief of ‘this point/person/mind should have gotten it by now’ and so in this actually using  this backchat as an excuse to not FIRST of all look at why have I created such expectations upon ‘others’ instead of first pin pointing the reaction, the experience that leads me to create such backchat in the first place? Why have I accepted and allowed myself to dismiss this subtle reaction within ME and immediately shift it toward ‘another’ which implies a form of righteousness as well: I am right and the other is the one causing the conflict, which is in fact dodging /abdicating my own responsibility first and foremost. 

 

When and as I see myself having the backchat/assumption of ‘This person should have gotten it by now’ I stop and I breathe as I realize that in this I am immediately dodging my own reaction, my own expectations, my own beliefs upon that person/situation and the belief of ‘point being corrected/point is aligned/point will no longer repeat the pattern’ as I realize that in the mind everything that we have become throughout time is nothing else but a broken record where we repeat our same experiences from our very early memories in our lifetime, which I have seen and exposed for myself as well. Therefore I then commit myself to understand the person/situation, rather see what point is emerging now, what point is repeating, why and how can I best assist and support myself first to practice blaming or seeing ‘others’ as the problem, as I realize that obviously no matter how ‘subtle’ these reactions emerge within me, such words when directed as an expectation ‘toward another’ is indicating me that I first have to look within myself and see where I haven’t yet changed/aligned and corrected the point of reaction within myself, which is the whole point here of absolute self-responsibility and taking it all back to self.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into the denial of my own secret mind when judging secrecy based on others’ words/actions, without realizing that in this I am once again dodging the realization that everything that goes on in my mind is still somewhat ‘secret’ as in there being no other being but myself in my mind and so by judging/denying/pointing fingers at ‘secrecy’ I am in essence missing out the point that has actually enabled us all to become ‘fearful’ to things like mass surveillance and so forth, which is how we want to ‘keep things secret’ as in hidden agendas where one can still allow backchat and imaginations/fantasies for ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about others which is a form of abuse as I realize that I would certainly not want myself to be subject to or an object of someone else’s mind – so for this, it is to first of all understand that ‘who we are as the mind’ has been the epitome of secrecy, the secret mind as that aspect of ourselves that we have veiled from everyone else, wherein we usually paint a good picture of us while hiding the ‘actual truth’ of ourselves. And so the title of this is ‘the uncomfortable truth’ which is where we believe that we are ‘right’ in our minds, that we are the ones doing the proper assessments, without realizing that when we are in any way judging/blaming/dismissing or denying another as oneself, one is definitely becoming the source and origin of the problem itself, as in the mind nothing can be trusted, in the mind as an immediate and almost ‘quantum’ experience that comes into our physical bodies and permeates our ‘reasoning’ from which we create an immediate response/reaction toward another, is not to be trusted, it is to be actually Stopped, breathed through in order to then assess what is it that’s coming up within me, why am I having this experience in my physical body, and so not attempt to ‘reply’ or ‘react’ to another as a way to ‘prove wrong’ or ‘prove right’ but instead focus on how I can respond in a way wherein I am taking self-responsibility which means that

 

I commit myself to respond to another based on the consideration of themselves as myself, and so first ensuring that I am fully stable, not participating in any experience – and if I was, then I Refrain/stop myself from reacting in the moment – so that I can take the time to assess how it is best to assist and support another, instead of wanting to ‘teach a lesson’ or ‘remind’ another of something that I believe ‘should have been ‘gotten’ by now’ – which is another form of righteousness or superiority when it comes to ‘proving another wrong’ or proving that ‘the point has not changed’ as an excuse to ‘dismiss’ another, which would be like wanting to cut my own arm just because it doesn’t have the strength that I expected it to have, even if I haven’t actually done the necessary work/training to develop such muscle and ensure that I have done all that is required to, for example, have my arm have a particular strength to a particular task or ability in my physical body.

 

I realize that everything that we’ve done throughout our lives in this reality is to dismiss, deny, negate, discriminate, exile, marginalize everything and everyone that doesn’t comply or doesn’t ‘fall’ into the creation of a normalcy which can be of course quite deceptive if not all cards are on the table, which means if oneself hasn’t actually taken absolute responsibility for what one is doing/experiencing/believing and perceiving about others and or the reasons why I would want to not want to see/not want to face/exile or marginalize another within the belief that ‘there is no cure, there is no solution’ which all that comes to mind when writing these words is the image of doctors in mental institutions that keep patients sedated and fully controlled just because we’ve given up on understanding how they got to such mental condition – or with ‘criminals’ that are sentenced to death which is our easy way out in society to deal with our own consequences, to not have to ‘face the dangerous person’ but, really being foolish to not investigate HOW and WHY we have created such mental problems, such so-called ‘criminals’ and why even our definitions of mental illnesses and criminals have been so diminished in our ‘mind framework’ dismissing all of us really that still exist in our minds and that still participate in a world-system where we commit crimes against life as a collective by allowing the starvation and the marginalization of those that we have rendered ‘helpless’ and ‘poor’ and ‘eccentric’ and ‘mentally ill’ and so forth, which are all tags that we create to justify our inability to work with them/walk with them in order to get to point of stability – which, of course, won’t be an easy thing to do, but it is what I would like others to do toward myself if I was in such position/role of being the marginalized, the ‘ousted’ one or the rejected one, as I’ve certainly to some degree have faced such point myself so, I realize that that is what I want for myself and so I have to give it to others that are willing of course to support themselves back, as that’s the essential principle I commit myself to walk here: to support others the way that I would like to be supported myself.

 

I commit myself to stop all assumptions, all projections of ideas/beliefs and perceptions I have toward ‘others’ and ‘who they are’ or ‘Should be’ in my mind, and instead commit to live in the moment where words are assessed in the moment instead of carrying ‘past history’ of a person within myself as a recollection of ‘experiences’ toward ‘them’ to then decide ‘who I am toward the person’ as this is my own conditioning my own ‘program’ that I have to ensure is not interfering with my ability to support another as myself which begins by ensuring I am not tainting another’s words based on the past or ‘who I believe the person to be’ but rather work each time, anew, from the words  in the moment, no past, not future, just here.

 

 

I commit myself to live the word humbleness in practicality within the consideration of others as myself which implies placing myself in the shoes of another, understand ‘where they’re coming from’ ensuring I’m not taking their words/actions/thoughts personally, but that I am able to instead if I see myself able to understand the words, I can most certainly challenge and will myself to support another that I see is willing to support themselves too, as this is how I see that through supporting each other it is easier to face the points and patterns that still exist within ourselves, so this is to not see another through eyes of ‘how changed he/she should be by now’ but to simply work with what is here, no preconceptions, no expectations, no denials, no running away or dodging the point but facing it fully here as it is part of my reality, and that then is of course my responsibility to face as well.

 

I commit myself to live the word gentleness which is a very necessary aspect when it comes to my words and to ensure that I am not in any way creating a defense mode toward another or to prove ‘righteousness’ or want to ‘control’ a situation through any amount of force, as I realize that this is what I have judged from any form of ‘authority’ that I have experienced such form of ‘control’ form, which is nothing else but actual fear that attempts to keep things ‘stable’ instead of facing them and directing them as self – so I realize that in order to live Gentleness  I have to let go of any speck of fear that creates the ‘defense mode’ and so align my words to embody that gentleness, consideration and humbleness to understand another, to support another as I would like to be supported myself and so be willing to embrace all parts of what is here in this world as myself and as points that I require to face if I am in fact to ‘train’ myself to educate myself to support any other person in this world that wants to support themselves back.

 

Further reading:

254. Beautiful Enslavement and Control

 

 

Suggested places to understand more about how to embrace and support the nature of who we have become as our mind:

 

Demonology | Revealing the world of demonsDesteni

 

The History of Desteni and Demons – Part One – YouTube

 

 

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To learn more about how to support yourself and another, share, walk with us and become part of the necessary liberation from fighting against each other and instead, become life:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  


388. Regretting Choices and Definitions

 

Continuing from:

 

Self Forgiveness on:

I require to open up – again – the relationship with art. I’ve noticed that I created some sort of past bad relationship experience with it, similar to the ones that I’ve had with people throughout my life wherein there were things unsaid, situations undirected and just cutting it up from one day to another without further communication. I realize I’ve done this with art creation and the general regret I’ve had in terms of the decision I took some 8 years ago to go to art school and actually drop out from my first choice which was linguistics and which would have probably been a lot more supportive for me to have as a degree than arts, and so there goes regret as well for the choices I made in the delusion of ‘I want to express myself ’ and limit that definition to only ‘arts’ and specifically visual arts. To begin with, a disclaimer here is to understand that I am walking/writing out my frame of mind and that whichever judgment I place here in relation to arts/artists/creative processes in art is what I’ve conjured up throughout time and self-reflection about my decisions in life and in no way does this imply an actual ‘bashing’ as all of these judgments, ideas, perceptions, conceptions will be self-forgiven.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience the moment of creating something as an image, a picture, a painting as something rather ‘pointless’ and useless in which ‘I have wasted my time’ and in this generating the overall idea that ‘doing art’ is a waste of time – without looking at how I began to define what I would do as ‘art work’ as ‘meaningless’ and ‘pointless’ when I began to understand my motives, my purpose behind ‘being an artist’ myself – wherein I wanted to Define ME according to my creation, according to every single drawing, painting, photograph, video or any other creation that would be part of my ego-construction as the ‘who I believe myself to be’ and all of this based on the premise of ‘me wanting to be famous’ or ‘me wanting to be recognized as special and unique’ and so, when the time came for me to debunk myself, my own ego-construction of ‘who I am’ as ‘an artist,’ then all of the experiences and definitions that I had attached onto painting, drawing, doing anything creative even with words, photographs, videos… all of it I then judged as ‘useless’ or ‘pointless’ because they were not going to fulfill My idea of what these things were meant to be doing For Me before, which was ‘building my ego.’ And as such, when I stop participating in the creation of my ego through my artworks and my so called ‘special vision’ I then create a polarity relationship toward my creations because I could no longer see them as unique or special or anything like that, and instead of seeing them just for the matter/materials and arrangements that they are, I went into an opposite experience defining these creations as pointless, egotistical and useless without realizing the polarity judgments I was creating based on having first defined artistic creations with all positive experiences such as a genuine representation and expression of who I am, and what I want to express to the world – which came with the imprint of ‘me’ as special and unique. So this is to identify the polarity relationship I created based on my own definitions

I realize that therefore the experience that I’ve generated toward ‘art’ in general doesn’t provide a solution to the problems in this world – and within this generalizing what ‘art’ is based on what expectations I didn’t get fulfilled for myself within the relationship formed toward Art itself, and this is how it is no different to how we can ‘call names’ to something or someone that doesn’t satisfy us based on the ideals that we created about it, yet I didn’t work on in order to manifest these ideals into reality either.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want ‘art’ to be and become this ‘tool’ with which I can ‘change the world,’ without realizing that I then caged myself within my own intentions, definitions and purpose I gave to ‘art’ in itself – instead of myself – and as such, when I saw that these aims and purposes were not ‘fulfilled’ in a rather noticeable manner or ‘short span,’ then I simply gave it up because I realized that there were other ways to make this process of self-change more tangible and noticeable other than paintings, drawings, little videos or else as these creations were mostly born within the intention of myself as ego, as the idea of being able to create a name for myself and be glorified by it and missing out the entire point that I now see is more relevant, which is not self-glorification but to utilize our skills, our talents to provide a key for others to start questioning reality and start considering another way in which we are able to live and as such, change the world in a practical manner, which begins within self;

I initially have had certain ideas imprinted within my decision to create art which were among others to evade the world – without realizing one cannot really do this – being able to become a special/unique individual with this amazing vision of the world – and within this, I decided to rather focusing on myself, my own deconstruction of the ego I had become and reconstruct myself as an individual that can genuinely be and become an example of what it is to focus on what matters in this world within the principle of doing what’s best for everyone, what can create and generate actual changes in this world and within this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define ‘art’ as being unable to do this, and this is where I clarify that it is not that ‘art’ in itself isn’t able to do the work, as it is ourselves as human beings the ones that are responsible for using whichever tools and means we have and see can be effective to share a message with others and provide solutions to our lives within our minds where we usually only see problems and conflicts.

I realize that I had delegated some kind of ‘magic power’ to art to be this transformational tool that can in itself ‘change people’s lives’ which is rather pretentious, non realistic and even with bits of spiritual approach that I had initially also commenced with in my relationship with art as well – therefore I now see, realize and understand that art in any of it forms or definitions for that matter, can be used as a tool to support the realization of ourselves as human beings, to portray the problems and the solutions that we can all give direction to – but in no way can I expect this ‘thing’ or ‘concept’ as ‘art’ to do the thing for itself, as it is Always about ourselves human beings being able to give direction to ourselves with using any and all means/media/methods and tools that are existent within our world and societies as of now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to develop a relationship of ‘hate’ and ‘love’ toward art – wherein I went in this form of ‘hate’ based on not getting my expected results from it, or being disillusioned from the results I was expecting I would get from it, which is once again wanting this something/someone create some transcendental change for me and others in itself, without realizing that I had to give it direction, make things happen, make things works instead of just hoping or wishing that something like an artistic expression does the work in itself – it can be an aid within the purpose of assisting and supporting ourselves as human beings to ‘wake up’ and realize the work that is required to be done in order to give ourselves direction and responsibility to our world which is our creation – and in this art is not more or less than any other expression or tool or point existing in our reality that has an equal potential of being supportive within our process of self-realization and self-responsibility as equals in this world.

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to develop a relationship of ‘love’ toward art based on the Experiences I created within me while working on it: being able to be alone, detached from the world, sinking into my imagination, being able to just ‘forget about the world’ and recreate one of my own within the starting point of someday maybe getting real fame and glory from it, being recognized as this talented unique individual that I had believed myself to be and as such, believing that ‘my thing’ was to do art, just because I wanted to give continuation to this great experience that I was building myself as through the work I was doing.

Within this I realize that it’s not about ‘bashing’ what I’ve done or now see it as pointless or useless as those are all definitions I now see and understand stem from having remained in the polarity opposite of loving it, making it special and unique – so this way I am able to now stand one and equal to any ‘artistic creation’ or ‘artwork’ in itself within the realization that it’s no different to any other thing we have created as human beings – be it a concept, a tool, a house, a business, a baby, an entire world-system – all of these are creations that entailed a creative and intellectual process in them, so that doesn’t make them ‘art works’ per se, because we’ve defined ‘art’ within a specific ‘realm’ of human creations which is how we developed the whole ‘specialness’ around it, wherein if we genuinely expand creation to anything we do, anything we say and think, then we will genuinely live as self-creators of ourselves, our world without having to tag it as ‘work of art’ since it will be a creation within the principles that each one can recognize and embrace individually: self creation in self-awareness, self responsibility, letting go of the pondering process of the individual as ‘special’ and instead focus on our creative, physical abilities that we have as human beings – both physically and mentally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see ‘art’ as no different to any other failed relationship wherein it seemed as if from one day to the other I simply no longer have anything to do with the person or situation and without further communication or understanding of why we parted ways, it’s simply a ‘breakup’ of sorts wherein I have generated the usual experience of ‘not wanting to see the thing or person again’ and overall avoidance toward the point/person in my life as if that was a clear way to deal with it. I realize that this is mostly suppressing the problem, suppressing what caused the breakup and believe that just by not thinking of it or avoiding looking into the point I am doing myself a favor when in fact it’s the opposite – there more I leave it ‘unresolved’ the more it becomes this ‘confusing’ thing, a mulling around that I experience toward the point or person, because I hadn’t clarified or structured my position or stance toward that person or point in my reality and as such I turn it into something I had to overall try and ‘erase’ without further consequence.

I realize now that I cannot ‘hide’ from these type of situations that I believed I had ‘dealt with’ or I had ‘walked through’ in this process in relation to art – as I realize that I hadn’t entirely clarified the self-corrective process in relation to ‘who I am’ toward art or creative process done by myself or others.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to at times go into a diatribe of should I or shouldn’t I go to see this exhibition or movie or concert just because of seeing it as pointless, useless or a way to ‘activate my excitement’ without realizing that the polarity relationship of resistance was created because of all the definitions I had still held in separation of myself, such as the experiences I’d had when looking at certain paintings or movies or music – and within this believing that I had to ‘quit it’ no different to a drug that I had to let go for once and for all in order to not have to be ‘enticed’ by it once again and ‘get lost’ in it.

Now I see, realize and understand that these ‘fears’ of consequences if I would ‘delve’ into the artistic creation, were all based on the initial Desires I had placed or attributed to art and artistic creations of myself and others – therefore the sole creator of this inner conflict is obviously myself, my mind, my past habits and my apparent inability to conciliate my relationship with art to see it for what it is: matter, colors, sounds, images that I can look at in a way that is no different to appreciating or even enjoying any other part of this reality – and within that if an artistic creation can provide any support to this process of self-realization: that’s great, that’s a ‘plus’ point in relation to what I see is necessary for us to realize in this world – but, in no way does it mean that because an artwork, a film, or certain music aren’t related to a process of self-realization or ‘changing the world’ will it make it useless and pointless as those are solely my own beliefs, projections and even bitterness based on the polarity relationship I had created toward art in this love-hate paradigm, which is absolutely unnecessary once that I realize that it’s all about me letting go of still holding a relationship to art as something ‘special’ as that’s why I then kept separating ‘art’ or ‘artistic creations’ from the rest of the world and reality and people/beings in it, just because in my mind I have developed this judgmental filter toward anything that looks like, sounds like, works like something ‘artistic.’ Lol which is kind of funny and rather contradictory when understanding that separation is created by myself in my mind and I cannot advocate being one and equal to everything if there’s still a special love-hate relationship toward something or someone.

I realize that through stopping participation in judging/defining ‘art’ within a special bubble, then I can rather focus at looking, understanding and comprehending any part of reality including ‘artistic works’ for the human creation it is, for the intent it has and essentially assess that in the same manner and way that I asses a person, a person’s words, any other part of our reality, how we interact, how we create our relationships etc. And this is thus a way to stop holding the specialness-towards-art construct and start seeing it for what it is: another part of our world as our creation that we now have to take responsibility for it all ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret my decision to drop out of my initial first available career as linguistics as I see that that could’ve supported more in relation to processes of education and supporting others to develop effective language in a professional manner – and instead leave to pursue an artistic career that I mostly do not see myself as ‘following through’ with – at least not in such ‘artistic circles’ – because I’ve realized that I have now a direction that I’ve decided to take on in my life which has to do with being able to support myself and other individuals to become self-directive, self-responsible, self-honest human beings that can in turn no matter what we do, where we are, we are able to stand as living principles of self-creation that can be supportive in any field or profession in our lives.

This implies that I let go of the regret, guilt or shame for my choices in life, for the time I’ve perceived as ‘wasted’ or the ‘disillusionment’ that I created toward ‘art’ as a career in itself, which was all created in my mind and as such I take responsibility for it, to see it for what it was and now that I have such studies as foundation, I can also see what I can take from it, what I learned from it that can be implemented within the current process and direction in my life that I’ve decided to take on – and within this, understand my choices in life based on the context and time of my life when I made them. It is rather obvious that If the ‘who I am’ right now was ten years younger, I would have probably made different decisions in my life – however, also making those faux-passes have allowed me to learn from my mistakes and that this is actually stemming from fear of seeing ‘me as an artist as a failure’ because of not completing the whole ‘road to become an artist’ and so

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually create regret about my choices in life, without realizing that it’s actually stemming from me having wanted to ‘take the right road’ from the beginning, not wanting to fail, not wanting to be seen as a failure as an artist, or a drop out or vanish from other people’s lives as ‘she became weird and stopped doing art’ type of judgment as I see and realize that these are all judgments that I’ve created toward myself and that I now see, realize and understand that they have no point in being here ‘as me’ in my mind, because I am fully aware of the decisions I am now making in my life, being certain about the outcome and purpose that I am dedicating my life to and within this also not solidifying ‘the way’ to do it as something immovable or being non flexible in believing that ‘this is all I’ll ever do’ – as that creates a general rigidity that I’ve also seen the consequences thereof when I have to ‘break the definition’ or ‘break the pattern’ and kind of eat my own words and decisions. I realize that I am at a certain stage wherein the foundation of who I am, what I’ve decided to be and become as a person that stands as a living example of what it means to apply principles of life in equality, of self-responsibility, of integrity, of self-honesty, of changing one’s living patterns, is what I have decided within myself to do and live till the end of my life.

Now this doesn’t imply that I forcefully have to ‘fit’ my schooling-career into it or else, but see the multiple possibilities of what we can do and how we can apply our skills, talents and knowledge for self supportive purposes in this world, and step out of any rigidity within ‘having certain career’ only. I have also realized that the process I’m walking is that of self-creation: recreating myself after a deconstruction of who I have been in order to now integrate living principles that are supportive for ourselves as individuals that can now take self-responsibility for our creation.

 

When and as I see myself generating and overall experience of resistance or judgment or even rejection toward ‘art’ or ‘artistic expressions’ I stop myself and breathe. I realize that such experiences recreate my belief and construct of ‘failed relationship with art’ which only exists as a construct of memories, experiences, ideals and beliefs of myself toward art – and as such as I realize this I can immediately stop any judgment and experience toward the word ‘art’ or ‘artistic’ or ‘artist’ in order to see physicality for what it is, whether it is human beings, or matter with colors, or images, or sounds and images, or actions that are simply human creations that I can assess in a similar way in which I asses everything else and everyone else in my reality – no more, no less.

 

When and as I see myself experiencing guilt, shame, regret for my self-defined ‘failed’ choices in life in terms of careers and studies, I stop and I breathe – I realize this stems from the fear of being seen as a failure or a drop out which are only judgments I’ve created within my mind, the fear of not being ‘successful’ at what I was meant to do simply because I didn’t even follow through with it/ didn’t do the actual work to get that which is also another point to realize here how I decided to not invest myself on the traditional forms of art-creation and instead directed myself toward self-education within a context that is entirely new and doesn’t even have a proper ‘institutional name’ with which to ‘justify’ to others what I do now– without realizing that I don’t have to ‘be’ something/a definition for others as I am well aware of how I spend my life, my every day, what I work with, who I work with, for what purpose and what my aims are in it all – therefore I stop wanting to justify myself and my decisions toward others and focus on rather assessing and evaluating myself based on the principles, objectives and decisions I’ve made to dedicate myself to this process in the form of support, education, proposals for change that can be implemented at an individual and global level.

 

I commit myself to no longer re-create any form of pattern of experiences either positive or negative around ‘art’ or ‘artists’ or judge them as useless because of being ‘artists’ or such – as those are only judgments/tags in my mind –and instead see the point of creation for what it is, as a physical or intellectual creative process and as everything, investigate all things and take what’s best. So within this it is also to commit myself to make use of formal ways of doing art in order to share a particular message or understanding that I realize is supportive for ourselves as human beings in this world and necessary within the context of the changes that we require to give direction to if we want to continue living in this world. So within this

I commit myself to give priority to the points that I see are most relevant and a matter of survival when it comes to creating solutions to the problems in this world as that is what I have personally decided to do – working at an individual and collective level to present solutions, to walk them myself and so co-operate in the process of self-realization in our world. This is what I have decided to do which in no way it means that it is what I think everyone else should also do in relation to their relationship to arts as each person’s process is different and to me within the context I’ve placed it, stepping aside from the usual definition of ‘creating art’ also means focusing on being in the world, in the system, understanding it, redefining it, considering how to build our lives and our interactions in a more supportive way and not just trying to get an experience out of it as my previous definitions of art.

I realize that I can redefine art as what I do within this process of self-creation, but that is merely for academic purposes and in no way does it mean I am trying to justify or define the fact that I want to ‘keep being an artist’ but, If I have to justify what I do to academics, then for sure it’s self-creation process as my own work of art, while realizing within myself that a definition does not really ‘define’ or ‘limit’ who we really are, but I can play the role without getting lost in it again.

 

Will continue….

 

 

Movie screen

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387. The Love/Hate Relationship with Art

Here we go…

I require to open up – again – the relationship with art. I’ve noticed that I created some sort of past bad relationship experience with it, similar to the ones that I’ve had with people throughout my life wherein there were things unsaid, situations undirected and just cutting it up from one day to another without further communication. I realize I’ve done this with art creation and the general regret I’ve had in terms of the decision I took some 8 years ago to go to art school and actually drop out from my first choice which was linguistics and which would have probably been a lot more supportive for me to have as a degree than arts, and so there goes regret as well for the choices I made in the delusion of ‘I want to express myself ’ and limit that definition to only ‘arts’ and specifically visual arts. To begin with, a disclaimer here is to understand that I am walking/writing out my frame of mind and that whichever judgment I place here in relation to arts/artists/creative processes in art is what I’ve conjured up throughout time and self-reflection about my decisions in life and in no way does this imply an actual ‘bashing’ as all of these judgments, ideas, perceptions, conceptions will be self-forgiven.

 

DSC01870

The Illusion in this world is my responsibility

It’s been a bit over 10 years when I first begun painting and the experience within that was that of enjoyment when being able to pull out everything that I would usually write in creating these images/paintings that I then started defining as ‘who I am’ and within that, already beginning to define and limit my future according to wanting to be an artist, to be able to write or paint or play music or anything that had to do with what I assumed would enable me to express myself and at the same time, be able to instigate some sort of change in the world.

I’ve mostly walked throughout the years the ‘emotional’ aspect to art and my decisions to be an artist in order to not have to ‘be in the system’ and not have to face it, and not have to deal with a lot of people, being able to stand in the ‘background’ so to speak, like someone with ‘special needs’ or ‘special mind’ and ‘special interests’ hidden in a room behind some canvass or else, yet at the same time having the works themselves get to as many people as possible…. So that’s the type of idea of a nice, lavish lifestyle I was pursuing some 8 years ago, and I was quite on the ‘good track’ getting some initial points of recognition that also led me to see the ‘fame’ for what it was and really question myself if that is what I really wanted: to have some pictures in some room in another place in this world seen by other people and be glorified by how nice they are? Well, I decided it was not the way to do what I was already veering myself to do, which is wanting to ‘Change the world’ and thus using art as the way to change the world…. separation here, yes, in trying to use this one thing to ‘change the world’ without really realizing that nothing/no one can ‘change the world’ in itself, but ourselves.

 

So that’s where we begin.

The idea of Art as an instrument to “Change the World.”

The point is I tried to make My definition of Art fit with what would enable me to use it to demonstrate that it is possible to change the world. However I realized that no matter how many images I make, how many pictures I take, how many great ideas I would have I was entirely mostly having an imaginative outflow of how this could operate without ever really landing it into any serious/real project. I always kept everything at a low-fi level because right after the first year in Art school, I discovered Desteni and my interests veered dramatically – hence the ‘shutting down’ of any pursue to further my career to make a name of myself etc. However little did I know that as I’ve seen throughout time, many artists or creative people are the ones that have been able to conceive new ways of how to develop a society that is better for everyone. Somehow people related to art are at the head of certain movements like the proposition for a Basic Income by Enno Schmidt who is an artist. The example I’ve been able to see with a more ‘landed’ discourse on social change is Joseph Beuys that dared to propose an economic, political and social change through the realization that such change begins with self, using one’s thoughts and actions as the tools with which to sculpt ourselves and so becoming the change that we want to see in this world, by understanding the interdependent relationships we have toward one another and our necessity to establish a genuine economy that reflects the true inputs of the real capital – human work/intellect or applied intellect and the use of resources to provide a dignified living to everyone in a particular society/environment- which means everyone should be equally involved in this.

“Social Sculpture, a concept and medium the artist devised and later theorized in “I am Searching for Field Character” (1973), which articulates his belief in the creative capacity of every in-dividual to shape society through participation in cultural, political, and economic life. With his proclamation that “EVERY HUMAN BEING IS AN ART-IST,” poised to join others in the construction of “A SOCIAL ORGANISM AS A WORK OF ART,” Beuys reprised the fervor and axiomatic language of manifestos written by avant-garde artists in the early twentieth century. This promulgation expanded what art could be by acknowledging the viewer’s ability to co-create meaning alongside the artist and, consequently, placed the production of art and knowledge within the scope of the viewer just as much as that of the artist.” – Joseph Beuys – Organization for Direct Democracy by Referendum

 

He went on as far as creating direct democratic referendums as part of his work of art and forming part of a political party, as well as founding a school that was aimed at providing the necessary platform for people to continue the work of social sculpture – which unfortunately I haven’t seen any further fruition from it. He also went on with economists and discussed the concept and idea/symbol of money and with that book ‘What is Money?’ realizing that the idea of social, political and economic change is not an entirely dissociated idea from an artist’s field of work. He also even funded an educational institution which is part of his legacy to continue understanding the multidisciplinary processes that education should involve.

It is so that having the ability to question more, to question reality, to analyze it in its complexity from the ‘eye of an artist’ can lead us all to become better social scientists,   questioning things that have become automated in our reality: money, politics, education, social structures, words and their definitions, mass media and its power to brainwash everyone… then I found people like Guy Debord and Marshall McLuhan who completed the narrative in relation to the world system as the reflection of ourselves, of our ‘revolutions’ as failed attempts to change something that first should be changed at an individual level – and this all made sense, I am grateful for having read these individuals to confirm what I was at the same time walking with/as part of Desteni as well as Foucault on his first chapter in Madness and Civilization about the Ship of the Fools or Stultifera Navis wherein every person that would be defined as ‘crazy/ mad/ eccentric’ would be ousted from society along with every other individual that would simply not be willing to conform to the norm or be defined as mentally insane. I could relate to all of this, however it was all still too defined within the ‘artistic realm’ and so what I did is that upon realizing that ‘art’ for now is ‘just another sector of society’ and almost another cult/religion in itself, I tried to dissociate myself from such tag just because I had judged it as pretentious and ‘special,’ because that is how I came to judge myself or who/what I was going to ‘become’ as an individual if I hadn’t actually stopped myself from upgrading and accumulating all of this definitions onto the ‘artistic persona’ I was aiming at becoming.

I’m also glad that I’ve done that because then the whole ‘specialness’ and ‘uniqueness’ idea of myself that I had about me and that I believed that I should be ‘recognized for’ in the world has been mostly vanished. But after that, there’s  a ‘void’  left in terms of the relationship to art/creative expression as I mostly simply stopped it altogether and wanted to have– apparently – nothing to do with it, which involved me having finished also school in Arts where most of the time I was already knowing that I wasn’t going to become an ‘artist’ in the most traditional sense of the word. I learned about many points wherein artists have participated in ‘revolutionary movements’ but certainly it is no different to how any artist at the moment goes out and paints murals about Snowden, Manning and Assange to glorify them as heroes and shouts at the front of some parliamentary building demanding change… which is absolutely futile.

 

It was not enough

 

So the disillusionment with arts have to do with My Own expectations about it. How I thought that this was ‘the way’ to change the world and of course I didn’t follow through with ‘becoming an artist’ in the traditional sense which I then perceived as myself already ‘opting out’ of it all and seeing the sheer idea of dedicating myself to ‘create art’ as utterly selfish, without realizing how much I had desired ‘that’ to be my reality before. I’ve also been recently sharing about these points with people, explaining how I’m not proud of the decisions I made earlier on in my life and how I would not recommend anyone to study arts. I do however not say ‘don’t study arts’ but simply place my own expectations, my own experience, my decision to do something else and how such studies were a nice platform but not real tools to do what I am doing now. So when I find ‘artists’ defined as such, there’s an attempt to me to see if they also see the futility that I see in art as well – well this happened with one specific person in one specific moment.

A Spell to Ward off the Darkness is the title of a documentary/film that is mostly existential in nature and more like an ‘art film’ than documentary – even though I agree with Ben Russell, one of the directors, on how an objective documentary doesn’t really exist as there’s always a ‘frame’ that is defined by the one filming/directing, so from that perspective yes it’s not really ‘objective.’ However I did notice that this movie was entirely aimed at creating an emotional experience about it, with majestic landscapes, very little dialogue and loud black metal music at the end. I had the opportunity to ask a question to Ben after the screening and when I realized that my theory of how and why Black Metal emerged ( lol ) was nowhere near their intentions within this movie, and he veered off into something else I saw myself judging the individual as ‘typical artist’ that responds with quite a lot of rhetorical rubbish before getting to answer the question. It didn’t end up there, I wrote him back an email essentially asking him whether he considered art was meant to be a hammer with which to shape the world, to prove that we can change it. And then I got quite a bold and rather supportive reply from him which made me realize that I was being an ego myself trying to impose onto other artists/film makers My idea of what art should be, and how if their creations were merely ‘emotional’ then they were useless to what I’ve defined ‘the purpose’ of art.

I realize that after this brief exchange with him where I had certainly ‘demanded’ some answers from him about his intent on his film, he essentially told me that maybe this wasn’t a text/film for me, and that left it very clear how I was trying to make such film fit my standards of what art should be and be used for, instead of it being a creative process in itself.  I also see and realize that I’ve become a ‘victim’ of my own judgments, my own definitions and so I’ve generated a rigidity about what art was supposed to be, what art didn’t ‘fulfill’ within me and thus justify the reasons why I got to see art as entirely useless and self-centered activity. These are all judgments of course that should be seen for what they are, my own creation in order to become my own ‘word – redefiner’ – (see previous post on Rumsfeld) – in order to make of my decision to not further any artistic endeavors as the ‘right thing to do’ and so justify it with now ‘bashing’ artistic views that are not the same as ‘my own’ somehow so as to make my decision sound right and be righteous about my decision. This is not only the desire to be right about this, but also imposing the same mind-frames with which we have created religions and beliefs in the past, and we’re definitely here to stop such knowledge and information rigidity.

 

Also, the point here is not to go into the usual ‘extremes’ I would tend to go into when quitting/stopping/halting something wherein the entire love-hate relationship is generated. And this is quite the perfect example of how we create ‘hate’ – and even if in my case I wasn’t emotionally ‘hating’ art –  when our initial expectations about something/someone are not met and so, we become the epitome of ‘not wanting to know anything about’ that which we had previously set a high standard upon. This implies also the pattern of ‘blaming’ it, blaming apparently ‘art’ for not fulfilling or satisfying my initial intentions, without realizing that it was me that wanted to first make of art my ‘way out’ of ‘the system’ or a way to evade it, and when realizing I really can’t do that, then I simply believed that I had to ‘let go’ of it overall and completely –  without realizing that this is no different to just running away from a relationship that ‘didn’t work out’ without first taking the time to understand Why it didn’t work out or how and that means that through understanding the problem, we can also create solutions.

My overall attitude to this all, however, was within the mentality of not wanting to create anything but still be interested in looking art, admiring paintings or other artists and kind of playing the game of I like it but I shouldn’t like it – I mean, it is quite an unnecessary game that I create in my mind just because I had previously given too much value onto ‘art’ and what it ‘meant to me’ and how my entire life was supposed to be ‘intertwined’ around art, and how the moment I started dissociating myself from it it meant like a literal relationship breakup, when it should Not be like that at all. I mean if I had criticized this types of relationships between individuals, how hadn’t I seen that I’ve been living the exact same pattern with my relationship to ‘art’ and within that every other person that I related myself to from the art-vein of my life-experience? It doesn’t make sense as that implies I resist ‘it’/them which implies I hold a dear relationship of separation. So this is a till here no further.

 

I have to then point out the practicality of the decision here which I might have written out before but here it comes again so as to iron out any wrinkles on my side. It is no doubt that we all can create things, be expressive in any artistic endeavor and enjoy the process of creating it and sharing it with the world etc. – however at the moment in our world and reality, I do see it as rather impractical to be fully dedicated to the creation of art/plastic arts specifically when there’s so much to get done in this world in relation to education, to understanding who/what we are as human beings in our minds, how we direct in our lives, how we’ve created this world system and through understanding it all, be able to now establish and conduct solutions at an individual and collective level – and this is what I’ve decided to do. However I see that even if for me this is ‘clear’ there’s still a shadow of a doubt in relation to how people ask me ‘what am I doing’ and within this believing that I should be speaking about the many paintings or etchings or whatever I’ve created as a result of my work as ‘an artist’ in the formal/traditional sense of the word.  So I come upfront and explain how I’m not doing that and what I dedicate myself to, which sounds ‘interesting’ to most but I see that as long as I still hold on a judgment about this as me ‘having wasted my time in art school’ or ‘not developing myself as an artist’ then no matter who/what questions are asked, I’ll still experience that shadow of a doubt simply because I’ve judged it as a failed decision in my life.

 

The dictatorship of definitions

And this I might have shared before but it’s relevant to bring it up again as it’s been coming up many more times, as well as with what ‘I do’ with my life since I mostly work on the internet and there is currently no institutionalized career that defines what I do within this process at Desteni to be a point of support for myself and others in this world to walk this process which I do entirely see as vital and the most important thing to dedicate ourselves to in this world, which is a necessary step if we ever want everyone to genuinely enjoy an artistic lifestyle of creating/expressing in a world where hunger, wars, poverty, corruption, greed and a lousy economic system can be no more. All changes begin within self and so I have entirely decided to step aside from my artistic endeavors to dedicate myself to this process of Education, of being an example of this change myself, of supporting other people walking this process, of investigating economic and political solutions, of sharing/talking about these necessary changes at an individual and collective level, as that is how we can then all as human beings take self-responsibility for the world in shambles we have created – so that is what our artistry has been defined by, and I’m in no way proud of the world we’ve wrought here.

 

 

I have also said before how this process in itself is a self-creation process, hence I am my own work of art. However the ‘art’ definition here is obviously not the common one and that’s probably my inner dissonance which I am here to straighten up and redefine so that I stop separating myself from what I’ve defined as ‘artistic creation’ in the most traditional sense and what I ‘should’ be creating,  and rather integrate the principle of self-creation in whatever thought, word, deed as myself including the activities I’ve defined as merely ‘artistic’ such as ‘creative writing,’ shooting videos, painting pictures, taking pictures and lol even as I write this it is like oh shit that’s all just pointless drama-creations of me, who I was before. However that’s how I’ve limited them to be instead of seeing how visual art is quite a powerful way to provide/promote a message and a more digestible or ’friendly’ way to explain living principles through images, films to make them more palpable – whereas with just theory not everyone might be able to find it or understand it.

 

So, this is to see how it is about expanding myself to see the potential that exists in everything that is already here in this world. I would be my own worst enemy if I would define art or being an artist as something pointless or mere egotistic – it is nothing more and nothing less than a definition and judgment, instead of considering that as anything and every other job/profession in this world can be seen for what it is, for its potential, its redefinition to be self-supportive and to use it as a tool to provide ways to look at the world in a different manner and how to ‘eat it’ meaning how to live it, to understand it, to embrace it. That’s what I’ve also noticed is lacking within Art.

 

 

Art as a tool for change?

It’s relatively ‘easy’ to identify the patterns or the problems, and represent them – but driving the problem through to the solutions is mostly always missing. So that’s the kind of principles of self-creation that I’d like to contribute with in relation to art/art-theory if you want to call it that which is not limited to artists or people that study art, but to any human being that wants to become an instrument themselves, a tool with which to conduct and become the change that I realize is necessary in this world. I’ve identified the problems, so I’m working on the solutions and that is no physical ‘work of art’ but if I take on Sol Lewitt’s paragraphs of art in relation to making of the process itself, the structure, the plan of a work of art the ‘piece’ in itself or in other words “If the artist carries through his idea and makes it into visible form, then all the steps in the process are of importance. The idea itself, even if not made visual, is as much a work of art as any finished product. All intervening steps –scribbles, sketches, drawings, failed works, models, studies, thoughts, conversations– are of interest. Those that show the thought process of the artist are sometimes more interesting than the final product.”

 

…then my entire life is also then that: self-creation and supporting other people’s self-creative processes. Lol, am I theoretically justifying myself as an ‘artist’ here? Can be, but why not? I’ve read such blatant bullshit in art-theory that expanding art-theory to self-creation within principles of life in Equality, of Self-Responsibility, of Dignity, Integrity, producing solutions is quite the most meaningful thing we can do as human beings after centuries of emotional, material or conceptual glorification in art. Time for Life to be supported in everything that we do beginning at a thought level and that begins with ourselves, with becoming the master-pieces that I’ve seen and realized I sought to ‘create’ outside of myself or to use ‘art’ as some kind of alter-ego platform to glorify myself through the eyes of others. Self-honesty is required within art, understanding why one wants to create art and if the purpose, aim or objective and starting point of creation is actually aligned with a ‘higher purpose’ or goal which is then how I am seeing that art can be used to educate people, to wake people up, to provide new understandings and ways to understand, behave and co-exist  in the world – but that still has to be lived by and applied by each one of us first as first ‘test-runs’ in this process.

 

I realize there’s really ‘nothing’ that can ‘change you’ as that would then be the idea of this ‘magic red pill’ that you simply take it and understand everything about the Matrix and reality, the mind, who we are as our mind, the world-systems we’ve governed ourselves by, etc. So, in that sense what we can all do is become the example of what it is to walk such process, to provide and produce educational materials/writings/videos or whichever ‘tool’ we can use to support others in the inevitable process that is here as our process of realizing who we really are as life. Easily said, a whole other story to understand it as to what it in fact implies.

 

I’ll continue with walking Self-Forgiveness on specific points mentioned here, as well as the Self Corrective Statements to redirect my relationship formed with art/artistic creation and artists themselves so as to no longer limit myself and others through my own definitions of art or ‘what art should be’ and instead focus on my own process of self-creation and the endeavor I’ve taken on to be that point of support for others as well, a birthing-as-life supporter which is what I in fact really wanted to do since I can remember. I can use all tools available in this world for this purpose without limiting myself within it and that’s also the process of expansion here that is necessary for me to clarify and structure as well.

 

” Economics is not only a money making principle. It can be a way of production to fulfill the demands of people all over the world. Capital is human kind’s ability in work, not just money. Thus economics includes the creativity of people. Creativity equals Capital” – Joseph Beuys

 

 

Fuck Pollock, He's Done it All 05

Fuck it, Pollock has done it all  – 2005

 

Watch:

 

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372. Desteni Insider: Mind Control and Brainwashing

“The world is in reverse” is the premise to consider whenever the Desteni Material is approached and that is because you are going to face your own brainwashing to the utmost degree, up to the point wherein the ‘you’ that has been occupying the body that you are living in will be stripped down to the core to see what is of real substance and what has been only the byproduct of the endless indoctrination and conditioning within a world-system wherein fear conducts the way toward happiness, light, love, success and an elusive freedom. Reading the first words again “The world is in reverse” means that we haven’t even yet pondered why we seek all these ‘great and good things’ without realizing that such desired experiences indicate that we are by default existing in the exact opposite: sadness/depression, dullness, hate, failure and enslavement. The Orwellian state of the world is the premise one could use from popular culture to understand that such perversion of words is not limited to governments or any other corporate institution that seeks to make the most profit by selling the abuse of life with smiles and frequent client rewards, it has become the foundation of our very own vocabulary as the words that we claim we “live” without genuinely understanding what such verb in fact implies within a reality that is intricately designed to abuse and harm all life in order to continue supporting the schizophrenic concept of ‘living’ that we are enduring at the moment. Yes, it’s being endured without pondering why is life such a struggle, why do we have to strive to make a living, and the point that I will focus on within this blog is the righteous act of wanting to revolt and blame the system for how things have come to be due to our so-called education process where we learn the best ways to dissociate ourselves from the realization of who we are as part of a collective organism that will create reality according to the nature of the thoughts we have in mind. It’s clear that such separation has turned to be the mirror reality we try to avoid and recognize as our own reflection.

 

Continuing from:

What you are in your mind won't pravail - wake up

What you are in your mind won’t prevail, wake up! (2009)

 

It is interesting that the Desteni Material and all of us involved in applying the principles at Desteni have been called out for being a ‘thought reform group’ or ‘mind control cult’ and any other form of slander which, according to the necessary premise on how ‘the world is in reverse,’ it is actually a good thing since that means that we are genuinely breaking the status quo of what has been accepted as ‘healthy thinking and behavior’ because we certainly such thinking processes have led us ( k )nowhere but evolving the ways with which to abuse life and each other in the name of greed. What I have done throughout my participation within the Desteni group is to learn how to investigate all things and keep what’s best, which is placing everything we’ve ever known under the magnifying glass to see whether the education at home, in schools, in society, in our relationships, in the words that we speak genuinely stand as the tools words are to create a world that is best for all.

We shouldn’t even require to confirm that none of the ways in which we have ever lived have been supportive for all of us as human beings, otherwise the world would have already been a place that is genuinely best for all and our reality as our creation is an irrevocable proof of that. Some of the misinformation propagated by the Desteni antagonists claim that we ‘segregate’ ourselves from humanity, from our families and friends, from our reality by being submerged in an individual process where we forgive ourselves for accepting all the lies and deception that we were taught as ‘how things are’ and the relationships based on self interest that lead us to become the predictable patterns that keep the world as is– what a disgraceful behavior, isn’t it? To self forgive every single aspect of our separation from our living realization of how everything we have ever been has been a lie since it has never given birth to life.

 

 

If anything it should already be a matter of concern that we all know that the education system is not working, that parents don’t even know how to educate their children, that our authorities stand as examples of how to get to be the most ‘powerful and successful’ individuals by being the most corrupted version of ourselves as personality profiles that are accepted, allowed and endorsed in a world-system that is founded upon abuse – yet! If one begins to understand principles that consider Life in Equality, genuine Self-Respect, Honor, Integrity and the consideration of Life as the one and only real value that exists, one is called out for being ‘brainwashed’ or ‘mind controlled’ or attempting to introduce ‘communism’ which is just another word like the bell to Pavlov’s dogs to ‘instantly’ react to it and expecting security and a sense of comfort as the reward by defending the right to be ‘free to be a capitalist,’  without even understanding what the words they are reacting to in fact mean.

 

The main problem we have realized is to what extent words as equality, collectivism, dignity, respect, integrity and so on are as vacuous as can be, simply because there have been no living examples in humanity that stand as such  living words – Jesus was one of the few and then was turned into a religious effigy to obfuscate the genuine fact that he was a man that lived the physical common sense meaning of such words. As humanity we have become the example of what it is to intellectualize and even deify living examples of what it is to live in self-respect, to live self-forgiveness and the willingness to be in the service of life itself which doesn’t only entail human to human interaction, but toward every single particle of what is here as part of ourselves, as the life we have hijacked in the name of power and control and within doing so, mining our own home that we’ve been trashing for far too long now.

 

(2011)

 

When facing one’s own brainwashing one can distinctly realize that every single word we’ve been taught and consequently “lived” has been part of the necessary deceptive mechanisms to keep this flawed, corrupted and vile condition on Earth, a collective acceptance and allowance of distrust, lies, abuse and adopting any form of contract to settle ownerships upon reality for the sake of buying and selling, no matter how much harm such processes inflict upon life as long as one’s own survival is secured.

 

Brainwashing and Mind Control are terminals of the same function within which we have all accepted and allowed ourselves to live in this world basing ‘who we are’ on ideas, beliefs, perceptions, feelings, emotions, imaginations, future projections and an innumerable amount of memories that we go collecting and layering as ‘who we are’ throughout our lives with which we form our identity, the ‘self’ that we Think ourselves to be – is it, really?

 

This is the main point one face within and throughout the Desteni I Process, which is the necessary process to walk through when one realizes that all of this understanding needs to be applied at an individual level to see where we stand within it and how to practically lay out the solutions that we ourselves can write and cross reference with other people that are doing this same process with themselves, so that the development of Common Sense as the living application of acting, thinking and doing what is best for all is established as the foundation of the living self that we commit ourselves to be and become once that we realize that yes, we cannot trust the foundation of who we are as the ego that was bred to re-enact the same patterns of self-abuse, we must change it and this won’t come with a simple realization or a few positive thinking statements – not at all, because everything that we have become is in essence the accumulated history of humanity turned into the most convoluted forms to ensure survivalism, self interest and enhancing individual traits that have created the current alarming state of the world as is right now which is on the verge of self-destruction by our own thoughts and hands.

There is nothing more beneficial that can exist nowadays but to walk this process that consists of a fundamental self-investigation on and about everything that exists within and as all levels of our mind and reality to see who we really are within it all and how we can instead direct ourselves to integrate living patterns and habits that can be beneficial for ourselves and everyone equally; this is what I have realized is the only way to generate a living society in conjunction with the understanding and integration of the physical laws into the new equation necessary in this reality to  actually create a world that is best for all. Where is the point of abuse or ‘brainwashing’/ ‘mind control’ within this all? I would like to ask someone to explain to me because I see nothing else but the common sensical and honorable directions that if embraced by each individual on this world, we would have a New Earth without a problem – and this is where Self Responsibility comes in.

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(2003)

Throughout these 5 years walking with the Desteni group and practically applying/living the living principles promoted such as Self Honesty, Self Forgiveness and the consideration at all times of that which is Best for All to implement within and without of myself, I have been able to break-through the main patterns in which I had kept myself complacent to the system, including the personality-traits in relation to ‘wanting to change the world’ without first understanding that such change must be first self-directed at an individual level. To me it was common to spot the ‘flaws’ within the world system or people’s behavior, but I always used to take the righteous stand of ‘I am right and you are all dead wrong’ – I had to go through a personal scrutiny to realize that I also had been brainwashed and had accepted such brainwashed stance as my own mind control of ‘who I am’ and ‘what I must be.’ Only throughout time I have been able to look back and see how within the particular path I had chosen in terms of my career on visual arts, my particular behavior and stance toward humanity – which was mostly that of superiority toward the ‘brainwashed’ and ‘sheeple’ in humanity – I was on my way to become the usual dissident within the world system, the kind of person that would be protesting on and on about how wrong things are while diving myself into the usual suffering-despair of how ‘No one is going to change, so let’s just live our lives the way that we want to, because we can’t change anything anyways’ and ultimately losing any ability to discern the potential of the capabilities I had but begun tampering with dreams of escapism, evasion of reality and enhancement of personality traits veering toward more ‘spiritual solutions’ rather than considering the physicality of the problem I was witnessing in this world, my world.

 

This particular personal stance of opposition, dissidence and antagonism went on to extremes wherein I was aiming at having nothing to do with the system, only focusing on pursuing my personal interests and becoming an individual that is well known for producing ‘nice pictures’ and get great money out of that – that’s all that I had reduced myself to in my belief that ‘we are doomed, there’s no way out of this system’ and within that using my own self-talk to justify such stance and position –hence the main topic of my art being mostly that of self destruction and emotional states that I thought were ‘the real me’ and it was, until I literally took off the blindfold when I got to Desteni.

 

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(2007)

 

Amidst a general sense of despair, hopelessness and apathy toward politics or anything having to do with the structure of the system, I moved myself out of any attempt to ‘make it’ in the system within the false belief that I was going to be able to do things ‘my way’ and never again have anything to do with that which I came to despise: the world system, humanity, money, politics and social sciences, economics… It was truly a tantrum the one I was living in right before getting to Desteni, yet it seemed very normal to others in my reality within the acceptance and allowance of my self-proclaimed belief that I was ‘beyond’ that, and that my inner-truth was to express through something more ‘meaningful’ like art where I could be ‘in touch with my emotions.’ Yes, believe it or not, that was me and it can be read in a very palpable way in the very first years of my process wherein a single moment with myself alone still felt filled with  a mixture of anxiety, depression, sadness, despair, helplessness and hopelessness turned into a victimized state of how ‘the world is a shitty place and there’s nothing I can do about it.’

 

It has only been in the past 3 years that everything started becoming more clear in relation to how our particular personalities are the perfect locks wherein we get so entrenched in our beliefs and ideals that we neglect almost everything that does not ‘fit’ with our self-religion, where we can guarantee the maximum ability to ‘enjoy life’ and keep augmenting our egos to ensure a safe spot in the concrete jungle where survival of the fittest means having a successful living – well, in my case it meant: do whatever you can to not be in the system, forget about everything that is evil in the world and rather promote a form of benevolence that can make people feel better, at least for a moment. This also implies doing things that according to my point of view then meant ‘challenging the system’ like smoking weed and making statements wherein I considered that I was ‘challenging the powers/the system’ and inciting people to ‘explore the spiritual realm’ in a desperate move to simply ignore reality and seek for some ‘greater meaning out there.’ Little did I realize then that what I was in fact doing was giving up on myself, seeking for something ‘greater’ to just do the work for us and not have to take responsibility for the hideous reality that I could ‘not bear to live in any longer,’ without even knowing what the meaning of ‘living’ in fact is.

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(2007)

The easiest way to brainwash people in a similar personality design to mine is to let them believe that they are in fact ‘doing something’ by ranting and raving about ‘the system,’ by calling out the thieves, by protesting, by yelling, screaming and pouting in front of banks/corporations and governmental offices, by creating riots that could ‘disturb’ any form of control that only evolves and escalates due to the ability of the human being to be led by emotional states that are becoming more and more unpredictable, of course leading to more destruction than any form of practical solution. We can see on our daily news how unreliable and unstable the human mind is no matter what position/character in society one plays in – you can be a priest, a world leader, a loving mother or a proficient athlete and kill their partner, children or commit any other form of atrocity when being taken over by their emotions and feelings – all  kinds of atrocities are justified by each one’s acceptances and allowances at a mind level, the mind that we have taken as the immovable premise of ‘our nature’ throughout human history. It is only now that I am able to realize to what extent the profiles of a dissident, a ‘free thinker’ and a ‘willful ignorant’ are just same brainwashed characters in which people are kept well-controlled by the power of their own rage against the machine, holding a similar faith to the most assiduous religious person that somehow we will ‘overcome the evil in this world,’  holding on to the hope that shouting and pouting will ‘bring the powers down’ and create some form of solution – even the so-called ‘alternative media’ are only new mechanisms that aid this control through utilizing ‘new’ ways to approach young people, calling out to revolt, to be angry, to go out to the streets, to ‘challenge the system’ by promoting the legalization of drugs and internet privacy within the belief that such propositions are the only bastions left to ‘regain the power’ and that’s precisely the problem that has happened throughout time: revolutions were never meant to establish living principles in this world, but only a call out to take over the power and turn the tables, keeping the world in exactly the same place – same inequality with new righteous hands in office. The age old saying of divide and conquer has not been fully realized, yet.

 

I have realized time and time again that there is nothing more important right now as an individual in this world other than focusing on actually taking responsibility for ourselves, however such words cause allergy to anyone that gets a kick out of ‘confronting’ the system in all of the ways explained throughout this blog. I can attest how it is only when realizing all my personality traits to evade reality and use this willful ignorance in an eloquent manner led me to mislead myself, my own choices in life, the people I had established relationships with and the evasion of reality that I defended and guarded as having a right to ‘do whatever I want in my life because I was hurting no one’ – this is the mind of the willful ignorant that is looking at the problems, that pretends to understand but when it comes to living a solution that can be of benefit to ourselves, to actually understand the responsibility we have in our hands to stand as an example of ‘the change we want to see in this world,’ all kinds of excuses and backdoors are open to just have a righteous statement to not change, to not challenge that which we have cultivated for so long which is our own ego, our own brainwashing and mind control. This is what I have come to irrevocably realize day by day whenever we approach solutions to the world system which we have through developing various means like the proposal of the Equal Money System which was an entire process that I will also walk and an essential aspect I decided to stand for and as by myself to precisely shed the anti-system skin I was busy turning into a hard veneer to justify my antagonism and antipathy toward ‘the system’ and humanity itself, which I later on understood was only a constant fight toward myself. This is one of the multiple realizations of the simple words you might hear many, many times throughout the Desteni Material: Oneness and Equality, where the Oneness points out the interdependence that we exist as toward each other as the coexistence in this same world and the Equality that is existent at the substance and physical level, yet perfectly concealed with all forms of separation that we have CULTivated in our minds in the form of egos, personalities, cultures, religions, political parties, the very words we use to justify any form of separation and abuse.

Sórdido

(2012)

 

One of the most prominent points I decided to take on within this process was to develop common sense to stand as a voice that proposes solutions, that investigates other solutions and point out why they are not genuine solutions within the ability to spot a point of deception that would in turn only re-create the same patterns of the past instead of genuinely creating a present with a solid realization of the solutions to implement in this world. So I’ve walked from the anti-system character to an individual that first walks this personal process of de-brainwashing through the dissident, the rebel, the antagonist to the system and instead walk a process of self responsibility to understand the problem, to see my direct participation within it and direct the problem toward directive solutions that we can all embody in the form of living principles. This is where I am now and it is certainly something never ever in my ‘wildest dreams’ did I envision myself doing, which is proposing solutions for this world system as it currently exists, placing political statements on a written and spoken manner suggesting ways to learn how to coexist as humanity since I had already agreed to ‘give up on humanity,’ which was really only ‘giving up on myself.’

This process is not yet done, every day, every minutest form of resistance, any movement toward the old patterns of sadness, despair and a giving up can emerge and that is where every moment I decide who and what I accept and allow myself to be. From this perspective the platform that we are developing as a group as Desteni is actually the perfect foundation to establish a solution at a global scale wherein the brainwashing, the problems in this world are understood and directed from within to establish clear directives without, as we learn how to understand the cause of the problem – ourselves, our own mind – and as such learn how to stand one and equal as the system to establish clear solutions without as the world system. This is the one process, the one ‘thing’ I have been the most consistent of within my life that was meant to veer from fad to fad seeking for more elaborate ways to justify my personal inaction to establish solutions – this time I have developed sufficient self-trust to place myself in a position where I can support myself and others to realize the points I’ve explained throughout this Witness blog as I can stand by the words explained here, having stopped participation in primary forms of personal reality evasions like alcohol or any form of drugs to stand sound and clear on a daily basis witnessing myself and this reality as one massive creation to turn into a genuine work of art, and that begins within myself, ourselves.

 

More to come…

 

Thanks for reading and walking with.

 

CaminandoelTripleProceso

Walking the Triple Process (2010)

 
The Revolutionary Character: From Activist, Anti-Politics and Anti System to Self Responsibility
The Elitist Character – Seeking Success and then Antagonizing the System

 

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Blogs and Vlogs on Brainwashing and Mind Control:

355. Activism and Mind Control |
2011 Activism Is Futile
2011 The Zeitgeist Movement: Resistance is Futile
98. Words as Mind Control |
183. Like and Dislike = Mind Control
2008- 21 days of no weed!
Communism stigmatized Equality
217. You Fear Communism? Why would That Be? |
Mind Control VictimsRead all about it! |
Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing
Occupy Wall Street’s Solution: Equal Money for ALL –
2011 Capitalism is Brainwash: Are YOU Brainwashed?
Earth Day? Please… Common Sense Required
You are what you Can Afford
2012 Money is MIND Control
2012 Gun Culture in America
2012 I Just Want to BE HAPPY – Equal Money? WHY Should I Care?
Sex, Drugs and…College? Hookup Culture
2010 I Use Alcohol on a Regular Basis

263. The Remedy to Stop Addictions

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

How to Develop Common Sense? Desteni Process Support

 

 

And don’t forget to watch The Century of the Self 


369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report

Preamble

My name is Marlen Vargas Del Razo and I’m here to disclose the actual and proven truth about what many can call the greatest Cult and Scam that has existed in the history of the internet according to various sources that, just as any other biased piece of journalism, lack any real practical self-investigation to come up with a veritable result that could be identified as a genuine piece of scientific evidence and an integral attestable piece of information that could provide people with a clear and verifiable perspective of what this infamous group is all about.

Unlike many that may research about ‘Desteni’ and immediately click on the most controversial links that may pop up in the 352,000 results (0.22 seconds) Google search, I suggest you rather take my name written above and run a simple search with it + the word Desteni to see some of the words written and spoken, as well as the various images that have been produced since 2008 as a result of my direct participation in this group, which is an internet based community dedicated to a singular and certainly sui generis cause which is to Educate the Human Being about the reality we have only lived behind the veils of our consciousness/the mind, our so called education, culture, languages, political and economic systems and all the images that have dictated who we are, what we do, why we do it and within this, basing our lives upon lies that we have made real as the current world-reality that we are all experiencing as an every day hell – unless one has sufficient money to protect ourselves from the actual reality that the majority is living in.

I will be sharing the details of what is now a 5 year Journey I’ve walked along with many other people around the world – including the year I lived at the Desteni Farm in South Africa (2009-2010) – that have committed ourselves to the same living principle that we find is the correct thing to do in a world like ours today: to create and establish solutions to live in a way that is best for all as equals. I have written over 1000 posts available in this website as a direct result of my process of self investigation, this is without counting all the other hundreds walked in the individual and specialized process of Self Support: the Desteni I Process, as well as the thousands of posts at the Desteni Forum and individual vlogs in two accounts on YouTube (MarlenVargasDelRazo and MarlenLife) wherein I have documented my individual process from self-investigation at an individual level to the publication and exposure of world-system solutions that are intricately related to the process of self investigation, self education and interaction with people in my reality in order to generate a change that is created at an individual basis and shared with the world; all of this is published a result of the certainty that I have acquired when it comes to proving over time that this process of Self Honesty and Self Responsibility is in fact the key to create a change in this world that will be the foundation to establish a new world order based on Life in Equality.

 

 

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I was born in Puebla, México on September 1st, 1986 came out of the womb with a c-section due to having the umbilical cord around my neck which I blamed for a constant nagging sensation I had throughout my life as a constant emotional experience of suffering, fear, anxiety, uncertainty and definitively seeing the world as a danger rather than a genuine place to be able to live in. Till this day I am 26 years old and I became involved with the Desteni group when I was 21, and the day that changed my life forever was January 30th, 2008 when I watched the first Desteni video, yes one of those where Sunette Spies (Interdimensional Portal/ blond girl giving deep breaths at the beginning and end of the less than 10 minute YouTube videos) would have one of the hundreds of beings interviewed in to give some revealing message. In my particular case, it reminded me of all the other spiritualist-channelings and mediums I had witnessed throughout my life, it wasn’t ‘anything new’ apparently – yet the message that I heard in that 10 minute video was sufficient for me to leave the various books on spirituality, religions, esoteric agendas and any other philosophy to continue devouring the videos as I continued watching them one by one throughout the course of months until I had assured I had watched them all to get an actual understanding of what this whole ‘portalling’ was all about.

 

At that moment I was interested in obtaining some higher truth, some ultimate truth, some ultimate answer to all the questions I had accumulated throughout a lifetime of finding ‘no point’ in living in this world if all there exists is suffering, violence, wars, lies, corruption, deceptive governments, false relationships where we harm each other, hatred, self loathing and the list goes on and on… Therefore, the approach toward these videos that seemed to be ‘out of this world’ was to get a quick fix, a solution, seeking to find the recipe that contained all the necessary steps I had to follow to just ‘get it done’ and be somewhat healed, enlightened, all knowing, have the answers to the meaning of life in one go and get over my existential inquiries that had lead me to wait, hope and expect something grandiose knocking at my door to stop for once and for all seeking some kind of answer from a creator as to what I had to do with my life, or how to implement some kind of ‘divine plan’ on Earth –lol, little did I know that we were already living ‘his plan’ but that this god wasn’t precisely benevolent as we had been taught to believe.

 

Of course as many other human beings filled with fears and expectations on ‘things getting better somehow’ or having some alien/god/master/being from the universe coming here and saving us,  I only desired to create some kind of unity in this world while getting myself some kind of special connection with a creator, a god, an energy or whatever that could tell me that ‘my life had a meaning and a purpose’ so I could stop seeing the suffering that I could not make sense of. ‘God must have a reason for all of this to exist’ and that god/ energy/ all knowing one idea started slowly but surely fading away as I continued the research through the Desteni material and finding out that everything I had ever known, everything I had believed myself to be – including the persona that I was so eagerly building myself to be – was just another character that we have all created based on who we are told to be, the family we are brought up in, the amount of money we have, the country and culture we live in, the generations before us that left their genetic dynasty of a troubled self-experience existing in a world where survival defines our ability to live or die everyday, leaving little to no space to investigate the obvious truth in this reality: we are slaves in a preprogrammed reality wherein everything that we see as the current problems we all live in an experience on a daily basis is reflected upon the nature of the world as it is today.

 

Suddenly every single question, enigma, diatribe, existential anguish and any other form of ‘wonder’ about reality, the universe, human beings, the mind, spirituality, life after death, eternal life, god, demons, heaven, hell, the so called ‘end of the world’ were all concepts being explained in detail as the finite constructs they all represent within the greater construct/scheme and aspect of reality that we are aware of in which we’ve all been existing as: Consciousness. Within my limited understanding within that very first impression, my life was not going to get any easier from that moment on simply because of realizing that there was a lot of ‘truth’ in these ‘Desteni videos,’ yet I could not find what it is that I can do to fix it all now, or the opposite: what do they want of me and what is their genuine purpose of publishing this information and Why this was not part of the world news:

1. An Inter-dimensional Portal opened between Earth and the Dimensions in March 2006. This allowed access to Heaven/Dimensions by a human while being fully aware and visa versa allowed beings in Heaven/Dimension full access to Earth. This opened a journey that was not expected or could be imagined. This Portal was placed as the Grace of God.

· The Future of Heaven and Earth and the Universe Mar 19 2007

 

I knew that this was something I had to absolutely research in its totality before diving myself into it fully and completely. I kept myself at a safe distance from the Forum, not even reading it to not influence my own research through only watching the videos and reading the articles, not even knowing if there were people already applying this, which was something they were constantly mentioning to do in the videos. My research wasn’t complete until I had ensured I had read every single article in the Articles section of the website, including the parts that I had deemed as the most repetitive type of brainwashing I had ever read in my life, it was called Self Forgiveness and kept wondering who on Earth could have said that ME, I, the person that stood up for originality, uniqueness, ‘freedom of choice’ and all things ‘independent thinking’ would be suddenly reading the dribble of repetitive sentences that looked more like some serious kind of brainwashing and bizarre programming that I was supposed to write and read in order to get some kind of realization about it.. Initially,  I left the Self Forgiveness part for the very end of my investigation because it was certainly the part that most resembled any form of religious brainwashing – little did I know that I barely understood the word Forgiveness at all.

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First Written Record of the Desteni Investigation , 2008

 

Through reading all the articles, watching the videos on a daily basis for several hours before and after going to school – all of this while studying college in the career of Visual Arts as the Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México –  I realized that this was something that I was going to be dedicating my life to, it was quite an immediate realization that became a certainty the more I watched that ‘I wanted to work with these people, I have to meet them and be part of this’. Of course it wasn’t easy to come to these conclusions since every time that I would Think about it, it all seemed ‘too good to be true’ yet too vast and consistent in every single piece of writing and video that I tried to dissect to find any form of flaw I could point out and boast that it was just another lie, another trick to get something out of us –and yes I still understand why many people try to discredit Desteni right away, because no one on this Earth has ever before come up with such a genuine benevolent message on Earth – besides Jesus – along with a practical solution to essentially establish the best living condition that we as individual human beings can exist as in this world, without expecting something from us in return. I had been taught to always get to know what people’s intentions are and not take just the ‘good stuff’ at face value, but see what form of manipulation is given in order to get the gist of the ‘good deals’ we get in life. I kept watching and every single time, I failed to find an inconsistency in the coherence and narration of evens that even if they were absolutely out of the spectrum of my physical ability to discern whether ‘the portal’ was real or not, the congruence, the convergence of points that I had gotten to read about from various other sources made me realize that this message was precisely the kind of intention I was aiming at living for in my life: a message of unity, of peace, of genuine care for one another  – yet the word ‘life’ was still as death as I was due to having little to no reference to what ‘life in equality’ actually meant – yet every single article and video was aimed at placing the necessary blueprint for us to test out for ourselves, correlate, self investigate what was being explained in the material. Obviously this was then gaining its place of being rather unique and never before seen in our world, because here all the answers, the solutions to our lives, this world and reality were being given by this girl on YouTube with little to no further information than visiting a forum that I mostly avoided reading through to not deviate myself from simply watching the videos and reading the articles on the website.

 

One of the first things that came up was getting rid of ‘God’ and it was far easier than I thought which was through being educated about the creation of the concept – what it meant as the ultimate separation and hierarchical imposition in the minds of all humans in order to establish a world order that has existed till this day on the basis of masters and slaves – therefore it became a matter of understanding the construct itself. I certainly then knew that the meaning of my ‘journey to find god’ had rather turned into a journey to understand and get to know myself, the reality that I live in and how I was in fact a direct responsible actor for every single atrocity I had only managed to complain, get angry and blame others for in this world. I was about to get myself into a cul-de-sac called Self Honesty wherein the only way out was to actually apply these steps that were repeatedly mentioned video after video, article after article: write yourself to freedom, applying self forgiveness, develop self honesty, apply common sense, oneness and equality, stand up for life in Equality. For sure at the beginning it seemed liked a cool thing to be able to get dead people talking through this girl, but why were they all saying the same message and how come no one else in the world was talking about this? To me it was the greatest revelation to such an extent that I was ready to let go of my intensive research in all things spirituality, philosophy, my personal cult to the belief of who I am as part of this culture, the role I thought I had as ‘an artist’ in this world and essentially place my whole life on a scale to measure what it is that I in fact was and who I would be without this construction of myself as ‘Marlen’ as the persona formed by the environment I lived in plus everything else that I managed to adhere through my quest to become that special being that we all believe ourselves to be.

 

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But, why is it that I was into it from the first moment I watched it? Easy: words made sense, everything that was explained I could relate to. It was as if the hidden side of reality that we have all been ‘aware’ of at some level was finally placed into words, but oh dear god how uncanny it is to get to these ultimate truths in a mundane YouTube less-than-10-minute video, isn’t it? However, the more I watched the more I didn’t consider people being able to reject what was being said, yet only later on I realized the power of fear and the ability to dynamite any potential veil-breaking information that has the potential – if applied and lived individually – to de-enslave/ liberate an individual from the most profound forms of brainwashing that you and I have ever been remotely aware of. Our history of human development has come and gone and none of it in any way supported us to become better living species – it was true: knowledge without application was useless and as I continued consuming hours and hours of watching the Desteni videos, scribbling some ‘facts’ here and there, drawing while listening to a consistent message that made me ‘lose my mind’ and go into a 3 day breakdown where I began saying that ‘life doesn’t make any sense, oh my god who am I without my emotions, art is filled with emotions! and I am an emotional person! Everything I’ve done and been has been but a lie!’ and within this going into the fear that ‘these people must want to brainwash us for some ulterior purpose’ – and yes, oh was it true, that ulterior purpose is to step out of the preprogrammed mind design wherein I was on my straight way to hell and ready to become some kind of entheogen seeker of the divine and somehow save the world from an impending doom that I used to preach in order to justify why I didn’t want to live my life in the most responsible way…

 

If there’s any warning I can give to anyone stumbling upon Desteni is taking it easy to watch the material, obviously now there are thousands upon thousands of blogs, videos, articles, books, audio interviews recorded throughout these past 7 years that Desteni has been ‘live’ on the Internet. The whole world has been stripped from head to toe for us to finally understand who we are, what we are here for, what was our purpose on Earth, what is this world, why aren’t we happy, why do we seek god, why are we driving ourselves to our impending doom and a plethora of more questions and ponderings that we have consumed our lives with, going generation after generation filling books with what we believe ‘we know’ without having an inkling of idea about what the mind in itself is – of which I was quite an active participant of – and why is it that we seem to be devolving with all these wars, lies, corruption, discrimination, suffering, harm, hate-all of which I had noticed throughout my life had become a constant part of reality; no one could have ever seem to have an answer to this, not even the Jesuits at the school I studied which is the Instituto Oriente wherein I rather reinforced my heretic character and only liked and agreed with the one principle that made sense besides everything else they claimed Jesus said and did: equality and considering each other as living beings regardless of the amount of money we have, the last name we have, the amount of properties we have and so on, yet we were being trained to be part of the elite in society that would ‘ensure’ that we were ‘benevolent masters/ leaders’ to our employees/slaves. Of course no one could ever answer to me why was the Vatican the richest country in the world, why the pope would not give away his fortune in the name of ending the world hunger if he so would pray and hope god or some world leader could end it … and these are just but the ‘tip of the iceberg’ questions that lead me to confirm  that whatever speck of religious inclination I could have wanted to resort to in order to make sense of this world, was simply another mirage in my quest to find that ‘something’ in my life I had been longing for – apparently.

 

The truth is that I only wanted to have some ‘great place’ in this reality where I could be special and within that ‘make all my dreams come true’ which were as mundane as being famous, having some fortune, finding love in some kind of partnership/relationships, escape the corrupted country I live in and essentially live in a blissful state while pretending to worry about the ills of the world… This was the ‘me’ that I have to now be typing out for the purpose of this Desteni Witness Report, placing myself in the shoes of the discouraged person that I became when realizing that this world wasn’t getting any better, that everyone was lying, cheating and being corrupted and that all that I could do is… feel sorry about it, be depressed, be doomed and living in a constant gloom and cry about the many horrors that I had witnessed on daily basis here and no, it wasn’t war, it was worse because it’s become an ‘accepted’ form of crime against life: poverty, discrimination, inequality, greed and any other form of egotistical traits that I could see were doing harm and were a form of actual self-abuse.

So what on Earth did I come to realize about all of this and the ‘Me’ that I existed as up to the moment when I found Desteni?

Find out in the next entry…

Thanks for reading

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What you are in your mind does not prevail – wake up!-  2008


352. The Solutions to Human Nature with Equal Money

 

We all want a better world, we all want peace and joy, but how is it that we plan on implementing these changes if how we behave, think and interact with each other and the environment is subsumed in apathy, neglect, carelessness, irresponsibility, hatred, selfishness, greed and the list goes on – it is to understand that the solution to the problems in our world begin at an individual level. This is the foundation of the Equal Money principle: Change in this world will only be possible if humans deliberately change their nature – and we say yes it is possible to establish principles of Life in Equality. Find out how

Continuing:

 

Please read the previous post 351. The Problem of Human Nature and Equal Money to understand the context of this post   

 

 

Solution                                                              

  • Human Nature can only change once each individual in absolute Self-Will  understands that to change the world, we all have to contribute to it by beginning such change at an individual level. This is through recognizing that our current system is the outflow of everyone’s active participation in it – we are the life of the system and environment, therefore it is our sole responsibility today to study and understand how this world system works, how it exists as the accumulation of our history, understand the nature of the system as our image and likeness in order to be able to implement solutions based on how we correct our individual relationships and conceptions toward ourselves and each other living being and part of this ecosystem as life, as who we are. Through this understanding we can then  focus on directing our realizations to generate the necessary political, social and economic solutions to ensure we never again recreate the past of enslavement, tyranny and abuse through mechanisms and systems of power and control. This is a process of Self Realization to understand that the ‘mess’ we’ve made of and in this world as our image and likeness – therefore it is in our own hands and with the use of our minds as an instrument that we will create new mechanisms and organizations that will be functional to implement this Equal Life System for the benefit of all.

 

  • A process of Self Change involves the application and understanding of Self Forgiveness which was explained in a previous entry.  This is the self directed process where one recognize every single aspect of our individual lives and personalities where we have acted in inconsideration of all other beings as equals, where we have only followed our self interest,  where we have diminished ourselves to be ‘powerless’ or hopeless individuals to do any change in the world, where we have blamed others for our own problems, where we have blamed our authorities for not creating a suitable world to be born into; it is walking through the understanding of how we have created our lives of misery and limitation that were projected as the tyrannical system we are living in. The only way to do this – as we have tested and proven for ourselves – is through this  process of Self Forgiveness, because human nature is in itself the ego that feels we are ‘too good’ to question who we are, what we like and dislike, what we do and our capacity to change things,  which are beliefs that have only perpetuated the foundation of this system and the relationships we form within a sense of irrefutable order, regardless of how we are witnessing that such system is no longer functional – it is within this ability to question it and take responsibility that we are able to prove how change at a system level is equally possible through a process of Self Forgiveness, Self Responsibility and Self Correction.

 

  • By investigating our own nature we begin to see where our thoughts, words and deeds have generated the nature of our ourselves as individuals and current world system. We will see how we can only absorb that which is in the environment if we accept it and allow it to become ‘who we are’ and ‘how we interact’ with the environment and each other – thus both aspects conform our first step of self investigation  toward change which is introspection at an individual level as the process of Self Responsibility which is the recognition that we in fact are the creators, source and origin of the problems we have created within this world system; secondly it is investigating the world systems that define the way that we live our lives at a political and economic level in order to understand that changing the world in fact begins within ourselves. This means that within the individual decision to direct our lives in a way that is best for all, we are able to place a clear direction with regards to how we  will ourselves  to ‘Be the Change that we want to See in this World’ –  Change is thus a process of understanding and self realization that it is by each individual’s participation that we can change the nature of ourselves, to participate in the system and correct its structures and mechanisms to eventually create a new foundation that supports a new living understanding of who we are as one and equals as Life. This ensures that we pave the way for all children to come and be born Into Equality and have all the necessary support to further integrate and develop this new Human Nature.

 

  • Self Forgiveness enables us to recognize the problem, take responsibility for it and integrate it as an aspect that we have to continually work on correcting within our  day to day participation in our reality.  Change through the application of Self Forgiveness implies having to review our own lives to see where and how we lived to fulfill individual agendas of personal self interests,  competing against each other, acting in spitefulness, seeking revenge, wanting to always ‘win’ and complaining to the system to victimize ourselves about things that are not working in our lives, while deliberately neglecting the fact that we accepted to create a world system wherein we would not have to worry to be involved in the managerial systems that define how our lives are lived, just because politics and law systems are not taught as the basic mechanisms that determine the way we live and interact with one another. We have disregarded all those that have nothing to eat, have no houses, no education, not even potable water in many cases, no toilets which is the reality that is here as the majority of this world where people – and yes included children – are sold and abused to create money required to live in a world because of a power structure and belief system such as our governments and monetary systems that define who lives and who dies based on the amount of money or education that you have to earn it. This is the realization that within us having acted in self interest throughout all our lives generation after generation, we all helped to co-create the current system we live in.

 

  • We have to be willing to Self Forgive every single part, aspect and particle of our existence that has existed in self interest, in separation and disregard of one another as equals – this is the process of Self Honesty wherein each individual realizes and understands through self investigation that we forgive ourselves for having accepted and allowed our ‘human nature’ to become the guiding rule in our reality disregarding life in Equality. The solution is to write and voice our individual process of recognizing and understanding our self responsibility and at the same time, declare that we are willing ourselves to be and become the permanent living application of Self Forgiveness, Self Honesty and development of Common Sense as the necessary tools to correct the patterns, behaviors to cooperate in restructuring,  redefining and fine tuning the parts and aspects of the world system that require to be aligned to support and generate the best living conditions for ourselves and everyone else in Equality.

 

  • It is in the ability to forgive ourselves that we realize how everything that we do or don’t do, everything that we think towards another and every time that we only act in self interest without measuring the consequence does affect our entire reality. This is where our power to change things reside: when we understand how we created the problem, how we accepted, allowed and perpetuated it so that we can create and become the solution to ensure that only a new system that caters for Equality is created from here on, because we understand that this is in the best interest of All.

 

  • We can inherently become our own authorities, our own political figures and law makes by virtue of being a participant in this world where we commit ourselves to create a world system of equality where our decisions, our thoughts and actions are expressed and worked on to become a better living human being through a process of applying and living Self Forgiveness in Self Honesty in order to stand as an example and definitive influence in our environment and demonstrate what is possible to do/ be/ become once that we Will ourselves to walk and apply this self-directive process of correcting our individual nature as thoughts, words and deeds to always ensure we generate a best for all outcome. This implies that we understand our creative responsibility toward our reality, and how it will always be a reflection of ourselves: each misalignment and malfunction will indicate us the points that we still have to understand, take responsibility for and create solutions – this will ensure that we turn our human nature from individualistic egotistical traits that generated separation and disregard for all others as equals into a living awareness of everything and everyone being part of our  ourselves and our reality and as such, will ourselves to take responsibility for it because we will understand that  every word, every action and inaction creates as an effect on the whole. 

 

  • Our educational systems will have to change in order to no longer support our current defined ‘Human Nature’ – instead we will inculcate values and skills such as the basics on reading, math, critical thinking, scientific processes that support and create the necessary foundation for the recognition of life in Equality. This will be a necessary training for parents to ensure that children to come into this world are not tainted by the past that we currently exist as – this means that through Education, given financial support for the parents who will be able to spend proper time in educating themselves to be the best living examples of this new human nature. This means that it is in our hands to generate the necessary changes at a system/ environmental level – we all will certainly agree that individual by individual this process can be expanded through the current means of communication we have, which enables our process of self correction to also be published by those that are already standing up as examples of the changes in this world – e.g. Destonians 

 

  • Equal Money System and Equal Money Capitalism provide the necessary transition and definitive structures that enable individuals to stop focusing only on making money in order to survive and instead, have the time and certainty of unconditional support for basic living necessities to then focus on walking/applying the process of self investigation to understand the characters that we have become and conform our ego. One writes about all of these aspects that conform the ‘who I am’ at a mind level and through developing common sense considerations on how we can direct our lives in a way that is beneficial to everyone in Equality. This is how through our own words and self-application we correct everything that see and understand has created the problem in our individual lives and the world in an equal manner – this is what the process of Self Forgiveness,  Self Honesty and Self Corrective Application is for.

    For now unfortunately not many individuals have sufficient time to walk this process as it is required, since we understand this is the base foundation of any change we create in our reality, thus this process will be broadly supported and available once that money does not exist as a problem and limitation for people to not have sufficient time or money to dedicate to themselves to it– after all this is about realizing that the moment that we become individuals that are able to be trusted with Life by living and applying these tools to change our human nature, we are in fact already on our way to change the world because it is not only a point of self interest to better a few over others, it is about understanding and implementing the living principle of Equality as Life.

 

  • Through establishing the necessary time to cultivate a relationship with ourselves, we will stop looking forward to generate habits, addictions or other means of interaction that are normally based on a system of consumerist nature where we seek to ‘escape from ourselves’ instead of establishing proper relationships with ourselves and our minds. Thus much of the way we interact with each other will change based on how we go developing this process of Self Change.  This goes par en par with a process of Educating ourselves on how the system operates to also become a functional member of society that is aware of our political abilities as part of society and as such, become equally empowered through understanding our rights, responsibilities and actively participate in everything that pertains to how our lives are conducted in our society.

 

  • Desteni provides such Education and is here for all to be a part of here Desteni Lite Process.   Implementing these tools at an Education System level will ensure that this is not existent as ‘alternative education,’ but is instead implemented as the base Formation of Values in a Social level wherein Equality is understood at a physical and biological level and as such, ensure that our participation within the world is conducted upon understanding this physical principle.

 

“So, in our Process – we have to Re-Establish an Entire Eco-System, an Entire Environment. We’ve got really get our ‘hands dirty’ in our Internal Beingness and Physical Environment, as well as within this Physical Existence, in terms of ‘turning the soil’, ‘planting the seeds’, tending to the seeds, growing the seeds. Really putting in the effort, discipline and process of what it’s going to take to Change an Entire Environment and recreate an Entire Ecosystems that exists in/as Equality and Oneness.” – Sunette SpiesPlanting the Seeds of Life: DAY 345

 

               The Role of Education in an Equal Money System

 

 

 

Rewards                                                             

  • The benefits stemming from this ‘lesson learned’ on the necessary changes that have to be implemented to redefine how we live our Human Nature are that we won’t ever forget what we have been an become as the nature of a system of inequality and abuse, because walking through consequence is the aspect that will determine the realization of the mistakes and abuse to ensure no more destructive and abusive consequences are created again, because the origin and cause of the problem will be solved once that the integration of the living principle of Equality is certain and understood to be as it always should’ve been. This implies that we will ensure we don’t make the same mistakes again because everyone will be educated to understand the existential processes that we are all equally in charge of. Equal Money provides the necessary structure for it, we just have to correct ourselves, integrate self change and then live out the correction in our day to day living.we have to actually ‘live it out’ as an expression of ourselves.

 

  • Our ultimate reward is our ability to become architects of our reality in every moment that we are able to be self-aware, self directive, self responsible living beings that ensure each other’s well being is guarded as our own. This is the process of Self Realization, it is an Understanding – doing what we know leads to a best for all outcome becomes who we are, it becomes ‘what we do’ as part of our new nature and first living expression. You can imagine the new human that will emerge when living in an an environment where each individual regards one another as equal, where the s exists as the necessary structure that ensures we are able to support one another to develop ourselves to our utmost potential. This means the end of fighting, competition, wanting to be ‘better than others’ because we will understand the individual processes each one of us goes through and what our role will be to ensure we establish a living system where n o one is ever again limited by ideologies, beliefs and perceptions upon each other. This is the process that will ensure life is valued and understood in Equality – money will become a rights document that means ‘you have your right to live here in Equality to all by virtue of being alive. This is the only way of the future and we invite you to participate with us in this journey to establish life as a physical expression of equality for the very first time in our reality.

 

 

 

 

EMS Adam and EVE

 

 

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330. Consumer Rehab in Equal Money Capitalism

 

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS

 

 

 

Problem                                                                 

 

The alienation of the spectator to the profit of the contemplated object (which is the result of his own unconscious activity) is expressed in the following way: the more he contemplates the less he lives; the more he accepts recognizing himself in the dominant images of need, the less he understands his own existence and his own desires. The externality of the spectacle in relation to the active man appears in the fact that his own gestures are no longer his but those of another who represents them to him. This is why the spectator feels at home nowhere, because the spectacle is everywhere.  – Guy Debord, The Society of the Spectacle [1]

 

Soft Imperialism by Culture and MediaContinuation

  • Creating needs in people, tell them consuming is  ‘what life is all about’ and you get a certain market that will live a devoted life to praise consumption and reduce life to a series of experiences that end the moment a new trend comes out, a new experience to buy, a new gadget to wear and upgrade one’s image of  success worn as clothes, accessories, shoes, cars, pictures of being having the ‘great life’ – but, deep inside there is a strong sense of alienation that is  difficult to look from ‘outside’ because it is virtually everywhere as part of ‘who we are’ and the identities we become, which are the byproduct of the same profitable society that breeds consumers, not living beings.

 

  • Trading our goods and services has nothing o do with the cult of the image that we have built around consumerism, it is necessary to realize that our lives cannot be determined by the amount of experiences we have, how many ‘valuable objects’ we own, because these are all the values that keep the same system running, wherein our needs and desires are shaped in the image and likeness of celebrities that we seek to mimic and adopt as our own identity. That’s the configuration of our society and that’s why Debord emphasizes that we feel ‘at home’ nowhere, because the spectacle is everywhere, and everyone buys into it.

 

The spectacle within society corresponds to a concrete manufacture of alienation. Economic expansion is mainly the expansion of this specific industrial production. What grows with the economy in motion for itself can only be the very alienation which was at its origin. (Debord, 1967)

 

  • What we grow every time we buy is our self-image built around the cult of what we own, how we look, what we choose as our ‘lifestyle.’ This alienation is not only existent toward that which we buy, having no idea how it is produced and where it will end once we’re ‘done’ with it – we get alienated from the very physical reality that we are as our physical body. We’ve made of our flesh and bones an Image that we seek to Adapt according to the images on billboards, creating eating disorders and self image obsessions that occupy a being’s entire life where even if food is not consumed, the image seeking pretty much consumes the being alive, making of an internal conflict a time-consuming entity that leads us to be absolutely unaware of reality, but only exist in the glorious self interest of me-my-image-and-myself.

 

  • The consumer culture is the greatest form of degradation that we have faced as  humanity, because it stopped being a momentary form of distraction a few hours a day or a momentary treat after a hard day of work, it’s become who we are and how we behave and  have shaped our values, beliefs, morals, relationships according to these  Images that are upgraded every season. This means that: you have to buy NEW things every time to be ‘up-to-date’ in a society that believes it is important to  have a fresh look and  identity according to mass-media trends and ensure you are ‘upgraded’ and follow what your social tribe of preference dictates to buy every other season – this has become ‘mandatory’ if you don’t want to face marginalization for not being ‘cool enough’ to have enough money to Buy new things on a constant basis. 

 

  • Children are taught to seek love, money and superhero traits – teenagers learn to be disillusioned about  a world that has nothing to do with the fantasy presented in movies and videogames, new heroes representing the ideal lifestyles of perfectly tailored models that become ‘the voice of a generation’ emerge as depressive-and-on-meds type of figures that values more spending time feeling a constant need for ‘something’ and seeking it surfing in the net, consuming drugs, buying, drinking, gossiping, playing with gadgets rather than enjoying physical interaction with each other to learn how to live in the first place.
  • What’s the common denominator here? People seek experiences generated in the idleness of our sedentary lives that require constant updates of personal computers, phones, more and bigger flat screen TVS that constantly imprint the images we want to become. But, who has decided to present this to us? It is only in the benefit of those that sell the products that we get to ‘choose’ what we desire. Entertainment would not be an industry if the prefab images shown on TV weren’t available for sale.

 

  • We can see the pattern already: the main problem is our constant desire to Experience –  the world revolves around this. There would be no point to buy, consume, visit places and eat up stories to make us feel good.  We have diminished ourselves to a collection of experiences, memories, people that we believe are important to us for what they make us feel. Who benefits from this? Everyone that is able to create the perfect setting, the perfect stage for such ‘insta-moments,’ the perfect drug-drink to consume, the greatest clothes to wear, the greatest cars to show off, the most benefits that only a few can afford – which makes it even More special and exclusive.
  • We live to praise our self-images that determine how valuable we are at the eyes of everyone else – is it? Or have we just become an illusion to such an extent that we cannot even get to question how we got ourselves into this insatiable state of consumption, leading us to a life of constant energy fixed desires, becoming drug addicts, sex  addicts, TV junkies, celebrity gossipers, government bashers, economy illiterates, freedoms seekers and god seekers, getting high and jumping off balconies to challenge ‘the system’ and make a general anthem of ‘Ignorance is Bliss’ as the road to walk for the next generations to come. 

    How long can we keep this show running?  We have reached the bottom of our downward spiral – how much more repetition can we take?

 

  • Let’s look at our thoughts, see how many of them relate to an experience about who we are, how others see us, what we want to buy next, where we want to be? Were we the creators of these seemingly unstoppable desires? are we the result of the perfect feel good enslavement that is sold to us every time we want to Feel something new? Yes, it is – and we have all fell for it –doesn’t matter ‘who’ you are,  individualization has been made the most important thing that we hold, beyond any common sense of being breathing physical beings.

 

  • The truth is we have never really been ‘ourselves’ because we have only existed as mind systems seeking for energetic experiences that are bottled up, tagged and sold because we desire, hope and need it. We have sold our physical body to the devil, which is the system that we all feed with our desires, the greatest treats that justify a life of slavery, poverty and abuse for a majority,  because we all work to get these bits of heaven in order to numb ourselves from our reality that we ended up victimizing ourselves from, believing that the corporate monster is to blame, instead of looking at the very thinking processes that fuel this entire machinery that is seemingly as unstoppable as our own mind – here I state: it is Only a Belief that it can’t be stopped – We  have to take ourselves to the origin of our thoughts to prove such belief is simply an expensive  delusion.

 

Solution                                                                

The Spectacle Meets Rehab

 

  • Considering practicality/money and necessity over experience, looking if what we want to buy in fact only feeds our ‘self image,’ pursuing the experience of owning something, or who one will be when compared to others that don’t have what we do, and instead look at the facts if one in fact Need what we are about to buy, or if I one is subconsciously buying an character-accessory to store within this personal vault of memories and experiences that we define as ‘who I am.’

    This is a key experiment that I dare everyone reading this to do, and if you are Self Honest which means you don’t ‘fall’ for your desires, you should see a considerable amount of money remaining in your bank account/pocket/ under your mattress, because you will be able to stop yourself and realize that what you are buying is only an Illusion, that it will be a flickering moment just like a match that burns bright and consumes itself to ashes, requiring us to flick another to brighten the same darkness that we have avoided to become: physical stable living beings that do not require an Experience to be alive – think about this this, will generate a Great change in our consumer culture if we integrate this understanding in our day to day living behavior, which will include getting to know How our products are created, where they end up after they are no longer used and the consequential outflows of producing and distributing such products to satisfy our desires, then decide what we can keep and dispose all that only feeds greed.

  • Solutions for isolation with our current gadgetry lifestyles. There is nothing wrong with the techno-advances that we have, but a few considerations are shared here:  once that we realize that we are not images, we’ll spent less time cultivating our fascinations to further specialize the ‘who we are’ as this character/self image toward others, we’ll spend that time developing a relationship with ourselves, to get to know that Self that has only existed as the byproduct of our society, of our parents and the media that filled the ‘void’ in our lives.

    Here we can make it fun to – upon recognizing this prefab/ pre-packaged condition we all kept as ourselves– realize that we can in fact for the very first time in our human existence Decide who we want to be, integrate Values that consider our Equality as Life, living to become a contributor to a social transformation that will remove our spectacle attires, stripping ourselves  to see what remains once that we stop feeding our consumer driven and personality-cult obsessions. A group effort is required for this,each one of us will stand as an example of what it will take to stop being addicted to the mind and learn to appreciate the physical that is what has always been here, that we’ll  learn to trade as a living meaning of giving and receiving in Equality – no more greed for superiority and mind-driven personality fixes.

 

Rewards                                                   

  • Opening up our eyes from the illusion will mean a transformation in our entertainment and ‘variety production’ in this world. Imagine the amount of ‘special items’ dedicated to the cult of self that could be significantly reduced when people stop buying experiences and instead, learn how to invest on supportive items, genuinely enjoyable treats and re-learn how to communicate, share and essentially enjoy each other’s presence beyond the constant up keeping of a Character that we sold to others, in fear of being vulnerable about our real experiences, our questions, our thoughts and fears – we’ll be able to heal a drugged up, shopaholic and self abusive society with the ability to share our ‘Consumer Anonyms’ stories, as well as forgiving our constant competitions and fights over our pet peeves, that have also became necessary religions to idealize the perfect ‘originality’ that everyone sought to attain in our so-called lives.

 

  • We can make the crash and the fall of our mental high, the landing on Earth after the illusion of grandeur a humble experience to learn from each other, to forgive ourselves for having turned this Earth into a massive grave of products chocking animals on Earth an in the sea, bits of junk that once caused us a form of joy, never questioning if we actually needed that or not.

 

  • Consumerism as a disease will be treated at an individual level with the understanding that we have all complied to turn beings into slaves and nature, the animals, plants as assets that became accessories to our ideal prefab characters we sought to be and become. It is the least thing we can do after we have succumbed to a never quenching mind thirst for more, while forgetting that we are, beyond all, physical living beings that Live  and Breathe regardless of what we believe and experience at a mind level. Desire for more, Greed  is the real evil that we have to disintegrate from our core-programming, and we have the support here: Desteni  I Process.

 

 

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

 

 
Freedom is not Free Stuff that Stuffs up the World - Matti Freeman - Equal Money Capitalism

Artwork by Matti Freeman

Sources:

[1]Debord, G. (1967). The society of the spectacle. Retrieved from http://library.nothingness.org/articles/SI/en/display/16

 

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