Tag Archives: afterlife

370. Desteni Insider: God, Spirituality, the Afterlife

 

Coming to the realization that who we are in this world is not working to create a better world made me seek answers to try and make sense/justify the suffering, poverty, wars, corruption, a lack of consideration to one another that I used as an excuse to remain only within a persistent process of questioning reality beyond what one is taught in school. I grew up being influenced by the ideas of there being ‘Life after Death’ and the dead coming through channelers or mediums to tell their ‘loved ones’ how they were alright and how everything was going to be ‘just fine’ for them. But also there were messages coming from a form of ‘brotherhood’ from which myself and my family would be getting all sorts of apparent protections and blessings in order to ‘do well’ in our lives. I kept questioning who exactly these individuals were and why in spite of them seeing the people that were seeking for help – being mostly desperately seeking money – was there no divine intervention to support them and end the suffering, end world hunger or even better: establish Heaven on Earth. All that was shared between these spiritual people were nice messages that gave hope and reinforced any kind of faith that would keep everyone waiting and expecting things turning out to their favor as a sign that this ‘god’ or ‘spiritual beings’ actually existed and were in fact on our side,  taking care of ourselves and solving whichever mundane troubled situation we were stuck in. Yet all of this seemed too staged, too dogmatic since it wasn’t something one could openly discuss due to the entire atmosphere of secrecy and reverence that existed whenever these beings would speak through the channelers/mediums that could only speak for a short period of time.

 

I was then familiar with the existence of a heaven or a spiritual realm beyond the Earth plane where the dead would go, yet we never got any answers as to why the world was in the verge of destruction and why us human beings kept existing in these ‘lessons to be learned’ somehow always yearning for a better living condition (translated to having money to live well and in peace) – these and many other questions were not allowed, it seemed that all that really mattered were our personal queries of any form of personal relationship gone wrong, or money problem which, if resolved, would only confirm our trust on these individuals within the belief that somehow we were being ‘chosen ones’ or ‘special’ for having this kind of contacts. It seemed unfair to me since I knew that everyone in the world could benefit the same way we were – apparently – yet others didn’t seem to agree since I had to keep it a secret throughout my entire life.

 

When watching Sunette Spies as a portal in the Desteni videos that were being broadcasted on YouTube since 2007, the in breath and out breath wasn’t anything unusual or weird to me, I instead thought I knew what was going on: I immediately assumed and believed she was a channeler/ a medium like any of the other beings I had witnessed throughout my life – yet there were significant changes that made me ponder ‘what kind of brotherhood/beings were these’ because the message somehow was quite straight, direct, there were no staged words or fancy presentations charged with the usual key words that the other beings I had witnessed before would express themselves with.  I started questioning more and comparing the Desteni Message to what I had heard before from what I believed were the same kind of beings: how come these beings speaking through Sunette were speaking as any regular person? How come they would be speaking about there being No God and reptilian beings having created the human being? Why were they not just leaving with some message of hope and ‘goodness’ rectifying that god is with us? Instead the reptilian point was opened which wasn’t any longer a mystery to me since I had also done a brief investigation on the subject prior to Desteni. Everything I thought I knew about channelers/mediums was debunked when I got to watch the video and read the articles related to channeling (Kryon – Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Unconscious Mind Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Continued pre-programmed Channels , Questions and Perspectives: Oneness and Equality with regards to ‘Channelings’ , Questions and Perspectives: How was psychics and channels controlled and why? , 2007 History of Mankind – Part 16 – Anu’s Plan – YouTube) explaining why it was also part of the program and why all forms of ‘light beings’ were part of the deception on Earth to keep individuals trapped in the belief that somehow, there was a benevolent god, that love was the way and that we only had to continue aspiring to have some manifestation of the divine through thinking positive or asking things to the universe. All of this was the real scam and later on understood as the cult of money that it has become nowadays (Read: Day 450: The Power of Now Illuminated)

 

So continuing with the previous post 369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report what I came to realize is that everything was in fact a preprogrammed and predesigned reality construct that we have been living in wherein even the higher beings, the gods, the ‘supreme energies’ that I had placed any form of belief upon were in fact also part of the reality design that we have all been participating in within our minds and in absolute separation of the reality that was certainly existing in complete dissonance to all the benevolent words we would get within the New Age culture – all of this was perfectly schemed as part of the diversion to never get to question ‘God’s creation’ and the beliefs we have acquired through familial and cultural tradition, all being part of the necessary programs that we have within and existing as Mind Consciousness Systems. This is when the point of enslavement was understood. I grasped how perfect the plan had been wherein everything in this world was in reverse and every single aspect of who we have believed ourselves to be as human beings in terms of the spiritual endeavors, seeking gods, bonding ourselves within religions, seeking eternal life, seeking the philosopher’s stone had been nothing else but a nice game that we blindly followed, never ever questioning why is it that we only sought our personal enlightenment, happiness and comfort? Why were we just expecting some god to do the work for us, or have these ‘special connections with a higher force’ while the rest of the world was submerged in suffering and agony due to lacking the necessary means to live which is the same as: lacking sufficient money to live; furthermore, why were all of these people suffering absolutely unaware that there were apparently some spiritual beings that could grant them healings and protect them from ‘all evils’ – apparently. This all made sense to understand how the vilest form of enslavement had to have a very agreeable and sugar coated image in order to be unquestioned and undoubtedly accepted as ‘truth,’ how our constant need to ‘seek god’ was just fearing to realize we are here alone and responsible for every single aspect that has gone wrong in this world, how the enslavement of humanity had been part of a ‘greater process’ by a few individuals that wanted to ‘be Gods’ in existence – it was all revealed to be a sick cosmic joke that we have all been a part of, life after life.

 

As I went through the material, I committed myself to remain skeptical about that which sounded the most fantasy like to me, simply because I could not witness myself the ‘other side’ or ‘the afterlife’/heaven  yet, once again the consistency of the message from the hundreds of beings from all walks in existence speaking through the portal lead me to realize that the final message was quite clear, consistent and made absolute sense as to why this portal had opened and why we they were calling out humanity to walk a process of Self-Honesty. I understood then how all the New Age agenda, the spirituality movement, the promoted ways for ‘peace of mind’ through meditation and seeking to align your chakras to be in resonance with god had been nothing else but a self-interest brainwashing that I had briefly participated in within an attempt to make my life less ‘miserable’ or as I experienced it to be miserable in my existential woes and ever present form of depression. After understanding religion, love, spirituality, channelings as a pillar and essential part to this enslavement of ourselves in our minds, I was ready to leave that all behind and instead begin walking a very different path that I never ever thought I would place myself in: letting go of the idea of god, of spirituality, of something or someone greater than me in order to get to know me as a creator in this reality.

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What I came to realize was that we were truly all alone as human beings, we are the direct creators of the reality that I was wanting to escape from or completely eradicate or disguise with some ulterior beliefs about a genuine spiritual realm that we could somehow rely to in order to be supported or saved in worst case scenarios by invisible beings or forced of the ‘goodness’ that I thought existed beyond the Earth plane, little did I know it was exactly the opposite that this reality existed as.

These realizations led me to understand how I had veered my life to seek answers and make someone else responsible for the mess on Earth due to the fear that I had about who we are and what we have become as the real perpetrators of our crime scene: the world-system imposed on the Earth. This was what partly caused the emotional breakdown that I had to go through in order to be willing to see beyond what I had initially sought to find at Desteni which was just ‘more of the same confirmations about the goodness in existence’ I was wrong. For the first time I had a crystal clear understanding that if we don’t stop deluding ourselves in spirituality, religions, gods, masters, etc. we will continue to abuse and eventually destroy ourselves if we don’t stop.

I went from being a profuse reader of religions, philosophies and watching all kinds of conspiracy theories videos to a more down to earth verifiable investigation of the state of the world; while being subscribed to the DesteniProductions YouTube Channel (2007-2011) we would regularly get all kinds of documentaries and videos that would expose the reality of this world: poverty, crimes against life, corruption in the political world, the destruction of nature, the abuse of the animal kingdom, the conspiracy theory that our economy and monetary systems are, the madness of the human mind, including spiritual messages that were now clearly understood as a genuine scam to divert the human’s attention from the real problems we had provoked in this world. I was taken aback due to the realization that I had mostly avoided watching the full graphic reality that takes place every single day in this world – It made me angry and sad at the same time, going into a depression upon realizing to what extent we have all been too focused on our personal endeavors to get all kinds of gifts from the universe, attract all the money, health and all the ‘good stuff’’ in our lives, aiming at living a happy fulfilled life without ever really wanting to understand how such nice life was in fact being manufactured/produced/created by every individual that is existing in a slave position that earns the daily bread through creating our personal heavens, the real and actual forced labor that exists in this world happens when having no money means: you die.

The sensitivity that I claimed to have toward the world, the usual depression that I would allow myself to be in whenever I would go out in the streets and witnessed the misery, the ‘soft violence’ and constant fear that we all existed in became slowly but surely debunked as the mechanism to protect myself from actually understanding my responsibility within the creation of the problem in this world. I came to understand that my sadness, my depression, my ‘wanting to end it all’ was another form of manipulation to not take responsibility for myself and this world –the constant belittling believing myself to be ‘too little’ to make a change in this world was exposed as a personality trait that had lead me to stand in the background, to choose seeking to create images and pictures that ‘made me feel good’ in an attempt to seek something of ‘real value,’ something ‘greater’ and meaningful to do the work for me, to protect me, to give me some comfort and happiness while pretending that I could ignore the harsh and crude reality that exists for every individual that somehow we have all collectively decided do not deserve to have a dignified living, and yes I realized I am part of the clan as a human being that have accepted and allowed this without a question throughout ages. I understood my self interest to only have a ‘good time’ in this life and be ‘against the system’ while seeking some higher connection with the spiritual realm that I believed was ‘what was real’ – I was wrong, I was absolutely blind.

 

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What became clear was that such ‘nasty thing’ that I had avoided to talk about and pretended to ignore was suddenly understood as the ‘real god’ of this reality: money and this was the simple message that I could clearly reference within my world due to having been keen on politics and sociology before my ‘spirituality’ phase that I had resorted to due to having been too disillusioned of the political and economic world that going to the opposite side was just another shot at ‘making it’ in this life. I had to go back to reviewing the facts of this reality, the same one that is here the moment we go out from the comfort of our homes and the money we have in our wallets – I realized it wasn’t ‘god’ giving me this life, it was money and so my spirituality trip came to an end within the realization that everything I had participated in was a feel-good story for me-myself and I in the mind and that it had made no difference whatsoever to the genuine struggle that the world is sinking in and is continuing to sink in, in spite of this also having been foretold by the various beings through the Desteni portal in 2007 . Five years later and humanity is still opting to hear the feel good fluff rather than walking through a process of self-investigation to see ‘who am I’ within this world, what is my responsibility within this and  how can I practically contribute to stop the madness in here in order to establish the constant and consistent message that Desteni presents and represents: Life in Equality.

 

I started shedding away the beliefs I had held till then since I understood it was only a mindjob in order to justify the worst crimes in our reality, including the monetary system as a belief system, the idea of self as a self-religion and the seeking of my personal desires as a self-interest life path that was contributing to the enslavement of the many and the ignorance that exudes from every corner of this world wherein we are so used to buying and consuming happiness and avoid anything that makes us re-consider who we are, what we’ve done and become and what we are here for.

 

Slowly but surely I made the decision to become an advocate of the rather ‘harsh’ side of reality in an attempt to provide sufficient evidence and personal realizations for all spiritual and religious devotees to hear about such as there being no god, we’re It and there’s nothing and no one coming to save us: we have to do it ourselves.

 

Once stripped from this individual aspect of spirituality that had lead me to voraciously read the articles on the desteni.org website and watch the videos available, I came to the conclusion that I had to obviously do something about this. It was impossible to now turn my back and pretend I didn’t just hear that, it would have been impossible for me to lie to myself any longer – so I directed myself to what was explained to be the practical process that each one of us could live by and apply: the process of Self Honesty through Writing ourselves to Freedom, Writing and Applying Self Forgiveness, Developing Common Sense and Dedicating ourselves to get to know who we are, how we came to be to begin stopping existing as a preprogrammed organic robot that gets to experience highs and lows in various personalities for all the various ‘life scenarios’ and occasions. That’s when I determined myself to be part of this process, because all of the enigmas about god, the afterlife, the creation of humanity were explained in such detail and with such consistency that the key to create and establish solutions on Earth existed in fact within our individual participation in this process – so, if this was the solution I made the decision to do it, I had to finally try these tools that they were constantly explaining and directing everyone to apply. This meant that I had to actually do the whole Process, I had to test the waters and see whether this was ‘for real’ or not – and so I committed myself to this, wanting to be ‘part of it all’ yet not really yet grasping the actual importance of this process on Earth and the changes that were to come within my world, this certainly was No longer an illusion.

SAYING THAT ‘THE WORLD IS AN ILLUSION’ IS AN ATTEMPT TO SOLVE THE PRIMORDIAL PROBLEM ON ‘WHAT IS REAL/ WHAT IS REALITY’ AND FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE LEAST EFFORT AND ‘SEEKING/ FOLLOWING YOUR GREATEST EXCITEMENT’ TO NOT HAVE TO FACE AND CARE ABOUT THE WORLD/ REALITY WITHOUT SEEING THAT THIS WORLD/ REALITY IS AS REAL AS WE HAVE TO EAT, SHIT, DRINK AND RELATE TO OTHERS TO CONTINUE EXISTING IN IT. HOW COME THAT WE AS HUMANITY DARED OURSELVES TO SIDE-VIEW THE MOST BASIC COMMON SENSE IN THE NAME OF JOY, HAPPINESS, FAITH AND HOPE? EASY, IT’S NICE TO REJOICE IN THE MIND AND NEGLECT OUR RESPONSIBILITY WITHIN IT ALL.

This will continue…

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The blog that explains it all : Heaven’s Journey To Life

 

Related blogs/ vlogs debunking spirituality – 

A selection of my investigation through the Desteni Process

2012 Life After Death–Interdimensional Portal | Testimony

The Video Tolle Doesn’t Want YOU to See

How to Raise Your Frequency (Ask Teal Episode on Increasing Your Vibrations

Spirituality and Capitalism Make sweet love through Hicks

2011 Pretty Happiness Machines – Vlog the Hell Out of this World

2011 AbrahamHicks – You Are Perfect As You Are – Video

2012 Spirituality and Activism Won’t Change the World – YouTube

Eckhart Tolle – Nirvana Is Already Here –

The Biggest Missing Piece – Abraham Hicks –

Fears and white light beliefs

Don’t try to get rid of the ego!” – Alan Watts’ review

The Jesus Message is Not Religious –

2010 ¿Spiritual Consciousness? Where’s the MATTER? –

2012 Positive Thinking Debunked! Heaven’s Journey To Life

2012 I Used to Be a Loving Person –

2012 Religious Consumerism: God is in the TV

2011 Vatican Exposed & the Faithful Deceived –

2010 EQUALITY: The END of All Religions

2012 Doomsday Character: Sick of Humanity?

2012 Existential Woes: Stop and Know Yourself

2012 Organic Self-Indulgent Lifestyle –

11.11.11 Opening Of The Portal Of The Divine

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1 –

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

The Secret History of the Universe: The Discovery of Light –

2010 Do You Want to Be ETERNAL? –

Bruce Lipton ‘ The Power Of Consciousness’ –

2008 I used to believe in a god

Law of Attraction is Based on Memory

Why isn’t Love an Illegal drug?

2012 Love is a Drug: Are YOU an Addict?

Life After God

135. ‘The Secret’ CULTivates Narcissists |

future and white light crap |

Day 11: I.O.U. Life as a Debt System of Power

Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing

2012 R.I.P. God |

2011 Desteni Portal: Objectives

Desteni y las Teorías de Conspiración

How I was able to Hear Desteni?

In Heaven Everything is Fine

 


369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report

Preamble

My name is Marlen Vargas Del Razo and I’m here to disclose the actual and proven truth about what many can call the greatest Cult and Scam that has existed in the history of the internet according to various sources that, just as any other biased piece of journalism, lack any real practical self-investigation to come up with a veritable result that could be identified as a genuine piece of scientific evidence and an integral attestable piece of information that could provide people with a clear and verifiable perspective of what this infamous group is all about.

Unlike many that may research about ‘Desteni’ and immediately click on the most controversial links that may pop up in the 352,000 results (0.22 seconds) Google search, I suggest you rather take my name written above and run a simple search with it + the word Desteni to see some of the words written and spoken, as well as the various images that have been produced since 2008 as a result of my direct participation in this group, which is an internet based community dedicated to a singular and certainly sui generis cause which is to Educate the Human Being about the reality we have only lived behind the veils of our consciousness/the mind, our so called education, culture, languages, political and economic systems and all the images that have dictated who we are, what we do, why we do it and within this, basing our lives upon lies that we have made real as the current world-reality that we are all experiencing as an every day hell – unless one has sufficient money to protect ourselves from the actual reality that the majority is living in.

I will be sharing the details of what is now a 5 year Journey I’ve walked along with many other people around the world – including the year I lived at the Desteni Farm in South Africa (2009-2010) – that have committed ourselves to the same living principle that we find is the correct thing to do in a world like ours today: to create and establish solutions to live in a way that is best for all as equals. I have written over 1000 posts available in this website as a direct result of my process of self investigation, this is without counting all the other hundreds walked in the individual and specialized process of Self Support: the Desteni I Process, as well as the thousands of posts at the Desteni Forum and individual vlogs in two accounts on YouTube (MarlenVargasDelRazo and MarlenLife) wherein I have documented my individual process from self-investigation at an individual level to the publication and exposure of world-system solutions that are intricately related to the process of self investigation, self education and interaction with people in my reality in order to generate a change that is created at an individual basis and shared with the world; all of this is published a result of the certainty that I have acquired when it comes to proving over time that this process of Self Honesty and Self Responsibility is in fact the key to create a change in this world that will be the foundation to establish a new world order based on Life in Equality.

 

 

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I was born in Puebla, México on September 1st, 1986 came out of the womb with a c-section due to having the umbilical cord around my neck which I blamed for a constant nagging sensation I had throughout my life as a constant emotional experience of suffering, fear, anxiety, uncertainty and definitively seeing the world as a danger rather than a genuine place to be able to live in. Till this day I am 26 years old and I became involved with the Desteni group when I was 21, and the day that changed my life forever was January 30th, 2008 when I watched the first Desteni video, yes one of those where Sunette Spies (Interdimensional Portal/ blond girl giving deep breaths at the beginning and end of the less than 10 minute YouTube videos) would have one of the hundreds of beings interviewed in to give some revealing message. In my particular case, it reminded me of all the other spiritualist-channelings and mediums I had witnessed throughout my life, it wasn’t ‘anything new’ apparently – yet the message that I heard in that 10 minute video was sufficient for me to leave the various books on spirituality, religions, esoteric agendas and any other philosophy to continue devouring the videos as I continued watching them one by one throughout the course of months until I had assured I had watched them all to get an actual understanding of what this whole ‘portalling’ was all about.

 

At that moment I was interested in obtaining some higher truth, some ultimate truth, some ultimate answer to all the questions I had accumulated throughout a lifetime of finding ‘no point’ in living in this world if all there exists is suffering, violence, wars, lies, corruption, deceptive governments, false relationships where we harm each other, hatred, self loathing and the list goes on and on… Therefore, the approach toward these videos that seemed to be ‘out of this world’ was to get a quick fix, a solution, seeking to find the recipe that contained all the necessary steps I had to follow to just ‘get it done’ and be somewhat healed, enlightened, all knowing, have the answers to the meaning of life in one go and get over my existential inquiries that had lead me to wait, hope and expect something grandiose knocking at my door to stop for once and for all seeking some kind of answer from a creator as to what I had to do with my life, or how to implement some kind of ‘divine plan’ on Earth –lol, little did I know that we were already living ‘his plan’ but that this god wasn’t precisely benevolent as we had been taught to believe.

 

Of course as many other human beings filled with fears and expectations on ‘things getting better somehow’ or having some alien/god/master/being from the universe coming here and saving us,  I only desired to create some kind of unity in this world while getting myself some kind of special connection with a creator, a god, an energy or whatever that could tell me that ‘my life had a meaning and a purpose’ so I could stop seeing the suffering that I could not make sense of. ‘God must have a reason for all of this to exist’ and that god/ energy/ all knowing one idea started slowly but surely fading away as I continued the research through the Desteni material and finding out that everything I had ever known, everything I had believed myself to be – including the persona that I was so eagerly building myself to be – was just another character that we have all created based on who we are told to be, the family we are brought up in, the amount of money we have, the country and culture we live in, the generations before us that left their genetic dynasty of a troubled self-experience existing in a world where survival defines our ability to live or die everyday, leaving little to no space to investigate the obvious truth in this reality: we are slaves in a preprogrammed reality wherein everything that we see as the current problems we all live in an experience on a daily basis is reflected upon the nature of the world as it is today.

 

Suddenly every single question, enigma, diatribe, existential anguish and any other form of ‘wonder’ about reality, the universe, human beings, the mind, spirituality, life after death, eternal life, god, demons, heaven, hell, the so called ‘end of the world’ were all concepts being explained in detail as the finite constructs they all represent within the greater construct/scheme and aspect of reality that we are aware of in which we’ve all been existing as: Consciousness. Within my limited understanding within that very first impression, my life was not going to get any easier from that moment on simply because of realizing that there was a lot of ‘truth’ in these ‘Desteni videos,’ yet I could not find what it is that I can do to fix it all now, or the opposite: what do they want of me and what is their genuine purpose of publishing this information and Why this was not part of the world news:

1. An Inter-dimensional Portal opened between Earth and the Dimensions in March 2006. This allowed access to Heaven/Dimensions by a human while being fully aware and visa versa allowed beings in Heaven/Dimension full access to Earth. This opened a journey that was not expected or could be imagined. This Portal was placed as the Grace of God.

· The Future of Heaven and Earth and the Universe Mar 19 2007

 

I knew that this was something I had to absolutely research in its totality before diving myself into it fully and completely. I kept myself at a safe distance from the Forum, not even reading it to not influence my own research through only watching the videos and reading the articles, not even knowing if there were people already applying this, which was something they were constantly mentioning to do in the videos. My research wasn’t complete until I had ensured I had read every single article in the Articles section of the website, including the parts that I had deemed as the most repetitive type of brainwashing I had ever read in my life, it was called Self Forgiveness and kept wondering who on Earth could have said that ME, I, the person that stood up for originality, uniqueness, ‘freedom of choice’ and all things ‘independent thinking’ would be suddenly reading the dribble of repetitive sentences that looked more like some serious kind of brainwashing and bizarre programming that I was supposed to write and read in order to get some kind of realization about it.. Initially,  I left the Self Forgiveness part for the very end of my investigation because it was certainly the part that most resembled any form of religious brainwashing – little did I know that I barely understood the word Forgiveness at all.

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First Written Record of the Desteni Investigation , 2008

 

Through reading all the articles, watching the videos on a daily basis for several hours before and after going to school – all of this while studying college in the career of Visual Arts as the Universidad Nacional Autónoma de México –  I realized that this was something that I was going to be dedicating my life to, it was quite an immediate realization that became a certainty the more I watched that ‘I wanted to work with these people, I have to meet them and be part of this’. Of course it wasn’t easy to come to these conclusions since every time that I would Think about it, it all seemed ‘too good to be true’ yet too vast and consistent in every single piece of writing and video that I tried to dissect to find any form of flaw I could point out and boast that it was just another lie, another trick to get something out of us –and yes I still understand why many people try to discredit Desteni right away, because no one on this Earth has ever before come up with such a genuine benevolent message on Earth – besides Jesus – along with a practical solution to essentially establish the best living condition that we as individual human beings can exist as in this world, without expecting something from us in return. I had been taught to always get to know what people’s intentions are and not take just the ‘good stuff’ at face value, but see what form of manipulation is given in order to get the gist of the ‘good deals’ we get in life. I kept watching and every single time, I failed to find an inconsistency in the coherence and narration of evens that even if they were absolutely out of the spectrum of my physical ability to discern whether ‘the portal’ was real or not, the congruence, the convergence of points that I had gotten to read about from various other sources made me realize that this message was precisely the kind of intention I was aiming at living for in my life: a message of unity, of peace, of genuine care for one another  – yet the word ‘life’ was still as death as I was due to having little to no reference to what ‘life in equality’ actually meant – yet every single article and video was aimed at placing the necessary blueprint for us to test out for ourselves, correlate, self investigate what was being explained in the material. Obviously this was then gaining its place of being rather unique and never before seen in our world, because here all the answers, the solutions to our lives, this world and reality were being given by this girl on YouTube with little to no further information than visiting a forum that I mostly avoided reading through to not deviate myself from simply watching the videos and reading the articles on the website.

 

One of the first things that came up was getting rid of ‘God’ and it was far easier than I thought which was through being educated about the creation of the concept – what it meant as the ultimate separation and hierarchical imposition in the minds of all humans in order to establish a world order that has existed till this day on the basis of masters and slaves – therefore it became a matter of understanding the construct itself. I certainly then knew that the meaning of my ‘journey to find god’ had rather turned into a journey to understand and get to know myself, the reality that I live in and how I was in fact a direct responsible actor for every single atrocity I had only managed to complain, get angry and blame others for in this world. I was about to get myself into a cul-de-sac called Self Honesty wherein the only way out was to actually apply these steps that were repeatedly mentioned video after video, article after article: write yourself to freedom, applying self forgiveness, develop self honesty, apply common sense, oneness and equality, stand up for life in Equality. For sure at the beginning it seemed liked a cool thing to be able to get dead people talking through this girl, but why were they all saying the same message and how come no one else in the world was talking about this? To me it was the greatest revelation to such an extent that I was ready to let go of my intensive research in all things spirituality, philosophy, my personal cult to the belief of who I am as part of this culture, the role I thought I had as ‘an artist’ in this world and essentially place my whole life on a scale to measure what it is that I in fact was and who I would be without this construction of myself as ‘Marlen’ as the persona formed by the environment I lived in plus everything else that I managed to adhere through my quest to become that special being that we all believe ourselves to be.

 

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But, why is it that I was into it from the first moment I watched it? Easy: words made sense, everything that was explained I could relate to. It was as if the hidden side of reality that we have all been ‘aware’ of at some level was finally placed into words, but oh dear god how uncanny it is to get to these ultimate truths in a mundane YouTube less-than-10-minute video, isn’t it? However, the more I watched the more I didn’t consider people being able to reject what was being said, yet only later on I realized the power of fear and the ability to dynamite any potential veil-breaking information that has the potential – if applied and lived individually – to de-enslave/ liberate an individual from the most profound forms of brainwashing that you and I have ever been remotely aware of. Our history of human development has come and gone and none of it in any way supported us to become better living species – it was true: knowledge without application was useless and as I continued consuming hours and hours of watching the Desteni videos, scribbling some ‘facts’ here and there, drawing while listening to a consistent message that made me ‘lose my mind’ and go into a 3 day breakdown where I began saying that ‘life doesn’t make any sense, oh my god who am I without my emotions, art is filled with emotions! and I am an emotional person! Everything I’ve done and been has been but a lie!’ and within this going into the fear that ‘these people must want to brainwash us for some ulterior purpose’ – and yes, oh was it true, that ulterior purpose is to step out of the preprogrammed mind design wherein I was on my straight way to hell and ready to become some kind of entheogen seeker of the divine and somehow save the world from an impending doom that I used to preach in order to justify why I didn’t want to live my life in the most responsible way…

 

If there’s any warning I can give to anyone stumbling upon Desteni is taking it easy to watch the material, obviously now there are thousands upon thousands of blogs, videos, articles, books, audio interviews recorded throughout these past 7 years that Desteni has been ‘live’ on the Internet. The whole world has been stripped from head to toe for us to finally understand who we are, what we are here for, what was our purpose on Earth, what is this world, why aren’t we happy, why do we seek god, why are we driving ourselves to our impending doom and a plethora of more questions and ponderings that we have consumed our lives with, going generation after generation filling books with what we believe ‘we know’ without having an inkling of idea about what the mind in itself is – of which I was quite an active participant of – and why is it that we seem to be devolving with all these wars, lies, corruption, discrimination, suffering, harm, hate-all of which I had noticed throughout my life had become a constant part of reality; no one could have ever seem to have an answer to this, not even the Jesuits at the school I studied which is the Instituto Oriente wherein I rather reinforced my heretic character and only liked and agreed with the one principle that made sense besides everything else they claimed Jesus said and did: equality and considering each other as living beings regardless of the amount of money we have, the last name we have, the amount of properties we have and so on, yet we were being trained to be part of the elite in society that would ‘ensure’ that we were ‘benevolent masters/ leaders’ to our employees/slaves. Of course no one could ever answer to me why was the Vatican the richest country in the world, why the pope would not give away his fortune in the name of ending the world hunger if he so would pray and hope god or some world leader could end it … and these are just but the ‘tip of the iceberg’ questions that lead me to confirm  that whatever speck of religious inclination I could have wanted to resort to in order to make sense of this world, was simply another mirage in my quest to find that ‘something’ in my life I had been longing for – apparently.

 

The truth is that I only wanted to have some ‘great place’ in this reality where I could be special and within that ‘make all my dreams come true’ which were as mundane as being famous, having some fortune, finding love in some kind of partnership/relationships, escape the corrupted country I live in and essentially live in a blissful state while pretending to worry about the ills of the world… This was the ‘me’ that I have to now be typing out for the purpose of this Desteni Witness Report, placing myself in the shoes of the discouraged person that I became when realizing that this world wasn’t getting any better, that everyone was lying, cheating and being corrupted and that all that I could do is… feel sorry about it, be depressed, be doomed and living in a constant gloom and cry about the many horrors that I had witnessed on daily basis here and no, it wasn’t war, it was worse because it’s become an ‘accepted’ form of crime against life: poverty, discrimination, inequality, greed and any other form of egotistical traits that I could see were doing harm and were a form of actual self-abuse.

So what on Earth did I come to realize about all of this and the ‘Me’ that I existed as up to the moment when I found Desteni?

Find out in the next entry…

Thanks for reading

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What you are in your mind does not prevail – wake up!-  2008


203. The Acceptance of Heaven is the Allowance of Hell

As humanity we have walked life after life not questioning anything in our reality, learning that things are ‘how they are’ because ‘that’s how it works’ and swallowing up this chill-pill-answer which in my case, I swallowed with some discontent initially – however, because I had no physical suffering, lack of food, lack of a house, lack of family, lack of education and learned that even though I was seeing suffering on the streets, being witness to hideous acts of madness – all was apparently ‘fine’ and we could still ‘enjoy’ and ‘have fun’ and seek for our greatest excitement and monetary success,  I simply learned to turn a ‘blind eye’ and being perfectly aware of every moment that I would compare my reality to that of children my age that had to be working on the streets, knocking door by door asking for food and clothes, me only reacting with absolute powerlessness every time, feeling sorry for a few minutes – then forgetting about it and continue with my happy go round life that was possible due to Money. Because, in the end,  what one learns at home when being in a middle-class society is to always aiming ‘higher’ in the social pyramid of greed and negligence and not really bother in trying to ‘save the world/ change the world’ as I had expressed some times – all of it actually stemming from me more feeling ‘bad’ about it than really even considering at that stage me being Them as in equally being here in this world, and that the acceptance of their condition held/ sustained my own pursuit of happiness.

This is similar to the acceptance of heaven and hell and my early obsession with polarity and wondering how I could only fathom ‘staying on the good side’ of BenEVILence, doing all I could to remain always at the good eyes of that god/ spiritual all-seer that I believed in and that became- along with my reality – the constant guiding forces while growing up: the social-conditioning of focusing on ‘aiming higher’ and the spiritual context (I apparently was not raised religiously, but ‘spiritually’ lol)  of doing good/ being a good girl/ aiming to ascend to the light realms when being dead. I did not know much about ‘heaven’ or the bible – but was well aware of Hell and I knew I had to avoid it at all cost. Now, this single neglect toward Hell/ Evil/ Demons the ‘Bad’ and Dark side of reality was almost like a taboo that no one wanted to talk about, not even talking about ‘death’ which obviously, lead me to later on develop my own fascination toward all the things that had been kept ‘unknown’ to me as part of any form of Education and Family/ Society, wherein all one focuses is ‘staying on the positive side! Be Happy! Seek for your own personal improvement!’ type of reality. But still, I was not satisfied.

 

I became a news fanatic when I was probably on my early teens and this was mostly beginning to wanting to understand the financial systems because of aiming at a career in such realms initially – obviously then veering off to the total opposite within hearing everyone say how I was absolutely ‘out of my mind’ if I even think I could create a change in this world – it bummed me out and that’s how I essentially Gave UP any form of actual career that would lead me to be In the system, the core of it in the money-markets and financial deals and veered toward that which I believed was more ‘humane’ such as socials sciences, ending up in literature and arts – which till this day even after all I see hold enough opening and consideration toward that which can create a change in this world if implemented at an educational level.

 

So this is a bit of a background of how I learned to ‘turn a blind eye’ on reality, essentially quickly conforming with everything that seemed like a ‘better option’ for me to take on in my reality, which suited what I was informed I had to aim at while growing up: being a successful person like my parents, in ‘whatever’ I decided to be and become. And I accepted that constant impulse as something ‘cool’ you know? Because I was being ‘cheered up’ by my parents every time that I ‘succeeded’ in my school, yet I always never felt quite happy with it, because I would go into ‘feeling bad’ about those that were behind me and were not even able of attaining a proper mark, even if I had witnessed they tried very hard to – and so this impotence grew and grew within me, not knowing why on Earth did I have it ‘so easy’ in  my life and others were struggling – and this, was my acceptance of ‘Heaven’  as something that was meant only for a few – and denying Hell as the reality of this world, as everything that I could see and perceive as being ‘behind me/ below me’ in any form of social taxation that I became aware of while realizing that there were kids my age – 6 –7 or even less – working on the streets, asking for food, asking for coins while their mothers fed babies next to them, on the sidewalk.  I allowed myself to just pretend that it is ‘fine’ and that they are somehow having to PAY for some awful act in some past life and that’s ‘why’ they are poor/ neglected and even receiving further abuse by the authority, the level of Injustice I became aware of really ‘brought me down’ into a constant state of depression and being sad about the state of the world, only later on and even today realizing/ remind myself how this is also a state of self interest, wherein I then certainly sought to escape from this reality through the realm of imagination, pictures, inspiration, seeking ‘beauty’ in this world where there was clearly non – all as a failed attempt to redeem life in one way or another, never ever considering to what extent I had ‘signed up the contract’ to be part of the ones that wanted to ‘change the world’ outside of ourselves, feeling ‘bad’ for the unfortunate ones and essentially committing myself to want to do some ‘good’ mostly from the starting point of me not feeling guilty for having had a rather privileged lifestyle, as opposed to what I would witnessed around me.

Continuation of the Elite Character

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to be and become ‘successful’ just like my parents, wherein this positive attitude and positive experiences was always linked to having money in our pockets and ensuring that we became ‘good savers’ and within that, giving some charity to those that had Nothing only to ‘share what we have’ without ever really considering how the very acceptance of us being able to give to ‘unfortunate ones’ that which we could spare them, implied the acceptance and allowance of inequality in this world as ‘how the system works’ wherein instead of learning about the creation of poverty and inequality that lead to social injustice, I con.formed to only feel ‘bad’ about them and give them money fro once in a while, giving  clothes away while creating an experience of powerlessness within me about them/ the unfortunate ones, which implies how I would only feel bad about them when being in their presence – yet remaining focused on my ‘aim’ to achieve my goals in life, which was mostly linked to being a good person/ doing good to others/ caring about ‘the world’ such as the environment, pollution – I did not even consider animals that much – and essentially creating this profile of being a ‘good person’ linked to success and most importantly, linked to a reward in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to brush aside the fact that I did believe in a light-realm where all the dead people would go to and I was aware of the so called ‘caves of darkness’ wherein I learned that people that had, for example, been participating in wars would go to, and that I would simply have to do everything I could to avoid going there – it wasn’t called ‘hell’ but just ‘darkness’ so, I had to avoid darkness which in this world translated to avoid ending up as a ‘no one’ with no-money/ no-light in this world and within that, see all people that were with no-light/ no-money and living on the streets, being absolutely helpless as people that had probably been inherently evil in some past life and within that justifying their existence as poor people/ unfortunate ones according to that ‘law’ which I later on became aware it was called karma.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to ‘do good’ in my life not because I genuinely cared about other beings, but because ‘I’ did not want to suffer and feeling bad when looking at them and realizing that I had ‘more’ than them – essentially thus any thought or intention of ‘doing good’ was directly linked to the inherent guilt and shame that I developed when and while growing up, due to me feeling powerless to do anything about their situation and as such, always only focusing on how I would experience myself toward the ‘unfortunate ones,’ and believing that I had to redeem Myself by being a good/ careful person even though I always felt awkward while pretending to be so, yet played the act because I wanted to be seen with ‘good eyes’ by society and ultimately by whatever force I was expecting on ‘the other side’ so, I did walk a life of ‘keeping score’ of being a good person, fearing doing ‘bad things’/ fearing ‘evil people’ and only promoting a way to ‘elevate ourselves’ in social conditions and even beingness such as being more ‘enthusiastic’ about life – wanting to ‘do good’ to the ‘less fortunate ones’ yet never in fact investigating what were the causes of their current unequal stance within the system, what was the reason why they were not being helped to have a dignified living and blatantly accepted then poverty just as part of my landscape, not bothering to question about it further because of not getting straight answers about it – thus con.forming, keeping quiet, turning a blind eye and instead focusing only on my personal world and satisfaction, escalating social statuses and aiming at all times to ‘be successful’ in whatever I decided to be and become.

 

I realize that my very starting point of ‘caring for others’ has never been something natural/ genuine to me, no matter how hard I tried to believe it was. But was mostly caused by the fear of having to ‘pay’ something/ someone in the afterlife for having been a ‘bad person’ such as having a ‘good life’ and in that, neglecting others’ realities such as the unfortunate ones, wherein I then tried to ‘do my part’ by seeking to oppose the system, criticize it, judge it and essentially pointing fingers at everyone else but myself, which is how I became self-righteous about my evil  (195. The Righteousness of Evil) and took it to the extent of denying vehemently that I was an equal and one participant of everything in this world that would case suffering, death, starvation in it – it really took me a while to understand how by just the single fact of me being Here as a breathing physical being, I was equally responsible for all that which I had turned a blind eye from for a very long time and how the very position of wanting to ‘do good’/ be a good person’ to the unfortunate ones was in fact blatant self interest, seeking to stop feeling ‘bad’ about those that had no money/ no support from anyone and within that, also earning ‘points’ toward a lightish/ heavenly experience, avoiding going to the ‘caves of darkness’ that I knew simply was something to avoid.

 

This became the foundation of ‘how I functioned’ in my reality, wherein for a long time what ruled me obviously was then only looking at the positive and doing essentially what I believed was ‘proper’ in terms of seeking to give charity/ support to the ‘less fortunate ones’ once that I had attained my elitist-supreme position that I did seek after in my mind/ imagination when thinking about professions and careers that I could direct myself to, which was not up to long ago some 6 years ago wherein I aimed at becoming a ‘well known’ artist so that I could then ‘speak up and change the world!’ because I apparently never stopped wanting to ‘make a change’ but I was precisely not wanting to give up my OWN benefits in order to see how everything works in reality and how I was directly responsible for that which I was trying to ‘save’ and ‘correct’ and ‘reform’ in this reality.

 

So, I commit myself to realize and accept the fact that I have never really genuinely ‘cared’ for other beings in an absolute unconditional manner, due to me always wanting to ‘add up to my score’ of doing something good to others, instead of realizing this is a matter of principle, of Understanding reality wherein once that you Understand, See and Realize how this entire existence functions, how the world system stems from our very relationship of the mind toward the physical, how energy and substance operate, what was heaven and hell and what they represent until today within our lives, how the world system functioned with a preprogrammed life path for all beings wherein there were by design some elitist beings that became the example and role model for the masses to attempt to ‘equate’ to  – while creating poverty, starvation, the ‘ostracized’ and marginalized people that were sustaining such wealth being absolutely disregarded out of the equation of any form of satisfaction and fulfillment. And within this all, realizing that there is No excuse at all to not stand up for life, not only because of it being our absolute responsibility, but because we are it – it is not even about creating a sense of ‘duty’ within it all, it’s about self-realization of us being that whole that is currently undergoing the ‘trials and tribulations’ that are nothing but the outcome of having lived entire lives only seeking to maintain an apparent ‘well being’ at the expense of others that were deliberately quieted/ shut down or even ostracized from the system in order for the majority to seek after the ‘good life’ here and in the hereafter, which became the most well known lie to be Sould in existence, not even only in humanity.

 

Thus I commit myself to realize that the starting point of myself within this process of Self-Equality and Oneness in Self Honesty implies realizing and recognizing the fact that one was initially motivated by obtaining something ‘good’ out of this, some form of ‘reward’ for walking process, without realizing that it is not about changing the world ‘out there’ for others, but changing My world With others – which is something you can read at Heaven’s Journey To Life which clarifies to the exact T. this subtle differentiation that makes actually a big difference with regards to the approach of ‘changing the world’/ wanting to go do good’ and all the points that we must consider before even being able to consider any form of ‘change’ within ourselves/ our reality.

 

I understand that Education is the fundamental aspect to this, as I am a witness of it myself. the more I educate myself about Reality with everything that is being presented as the Investigation of  Existence and this Reality through the Eqafe interviews, I become more certain about myself, my process, my understanding and playing my own ‘devil’s advocate’ to see where the hell there exist still any form of self interest to walk this process, which obviously cannot remain at all not a single iota of ‘convenience’ can determine my every move, otherwise it will be pointed out by myself in Self Honesty in order to realize that any form of Energy-seeking desire is Self-Dishonesty and that implies going to both the ‘good’ and the ‘bad’ as poles of the same energetic fix that the mind is always seeking for.

 

I commit myself to be absolutely self honest to any point of support that I commit myself to give to myself and share with others, in order to not create a certain persona of myself, standing up for ‘something good’ but simply realizing it is a single alignment and correction of how things should have always worked/ functioned in our reality. And this is then a matter of physical principles of living conditions, not of an egotistical approach to make ourselves feel ‘more’ than what we already are here.

 

I will continue  in the following posts debunking my acceptance of an elitist character within me, wanting to ‘do good’/ be good while still holding on mainly a personal self interest about it all to become ‘more’ than myself apparently.

 

For more information and understanding of yourself visit:

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni Lite Process 

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System 

 

Eyes that see

Eyes that see 2003

 

Must Watch:

Human Resources: Social Engineering In The 20th Century

 

Blogs:

 

Interviews:

MyKey is in the house again: 


171. Self-Talk to be Lazy

How many times have talked to ourselves in a very nice and enticing way to do something instead of another? How have we accepted and allowed ourselves to make it ‘okay’ to talk to ourselves in the first place – and this is where the realization that the voices in our head/ how we talk ourselves into a point is something that MUST be walked within our process of getting to know who we are as the mind. Why? Because a single thought is the activation of an integration that we had throughout our lives as a particular way we have assessed reality according to the mind instead of assessing reality in physical terms.

Continuing with the Procrastination character.

Within having this writing/document to be written,  a physical way of approaching this in the most simple and suitable manner is: I have to do this writing, I simply take my computer, do the necessary readings/ research in it and write the document out. However, what have I accepted and allowed within me to accumulate layer after layer of procrastination to not just do it? Several enticing words, sentences or entire inner-conversations/ backchat in order to look at this physical task in a way that is MORE than myself in the moment – things like

    • I require more time to do this, not now
    • I rather get to this later on in the day, when there is no noise around me
    • I would like to get it done, but first I go out for a walk
    • I would want to get that book First before I even intend writing
    • It’s going to take me too long today, rather do it tomorrow /DIT syndrome

 

Now these are only a few examples here, within investigating throughout the various dimensions within this character, I’ve seen how there are many points that factor into this particular point of not doing it which is related to confronting the written document with others, having to re-write it several times, wanting to place it ALL within one single document, my backchat about the career itself, etc. So, the points above are only a fraction and more like an immediate example of the points that indicate a direct postponement of the writing itself; however I have seen myself always going into the imagination and future projection aspects that lead to pushing the point even further into the future in order to ‘instead do this’ / do that – which is an aspect I had discussed as well, how I tend to make it as if I am being a ‘better person’ because of taking other tasks to complete or because I am rather taking responsibility for OTHER points instead of the main one that is here to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to talk to myself within my mind in order to place a ‘better thing to do’ instead of actually giving direction to my task at hand, which is how I have disregarded the physical reality and responsibility in order to place a more ‘suitable’ point in front of me in my mind that I then direct myself to do, as an ‘acceptable way’ of postponing/ leaving for later the task that I was about to do, which indicates how I have been listening to/ following the voices in my head in order to Not immediately do things, but instead allow myself to go into self-interest mode, search for something that I would ‘rather do’ and within this, create a seemingly ‘fine’ moment in my day because ‘I am doing something’ and ‘I am taking care of other responsibilities’ but the one that I was in the moment ‘going to do’ but literally talked myself out of it.

When and as I see myself talking myself out of doing a task, I stop and I breathe. I realize that talking myself to not do things is the same as thinking positive in hopes of something ‘great’ happening and me not having to do it at all, which is similar to praying and hoping something else will come along so that I don’t have to do this, which is self-talk in self-interest to only do what ‘I like doing’ and leave aside all that which I don’t really ‘wanna do’ but Have to do anyways – thus

I commit myself to stop the chatter and seemingly enticing ‘other things to do’ that I create as thoughts in my head to not do things, and instead of following my self interest, I direct myself to work on what is required to be done, ensuring that I am directing myself according to what I realize I won’t probably ever WANT o Desire to do to, but simply must be done as part of my responsibility.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fool myself with internal conversations/ backchat in my mind in order to not have to do things,, which is no different to hearing a god/ hearing voices in my head which is considered a delusional aspect of humanity which has definitely become the same point we have all been responsible for when it comes to delegating the things that must be walked/ corrected/ self directed within physical reality and leaving them for some ‘external force/ source/ god’ to do it for us, which is delusional – yet I realize that I am doing exactly the same thing whenever I am expecting me to ‘eventually do it’ without any immediate self-direction at the physical level to In fact do it.

When and as I see myself chatting myself up for doing something else/ waiting for the ‘right moment’ to do this, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can make a thousand excuses in order to Not do it,  within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to see how I even go to the extent of creating my own justifications as to why ‘what I decide to do instead of the task at hand is much better to do it now than later’ – in this implying that I make myself remain in ‘good standing’  at all times within my mind wherein the point of procrastination is then left as a ‘future point’ that I simply apparently make the ‘informed decision to leave for later’ which is an evolved character point of thinking that because I am deciding to do something else instead of the task at hand, I remain ‘in control’ of the situation, which is not so at all, since we realize in common sense that the actual Self-directive decision implies simply doing it, instead of finding necessary knowledge and information to formulate an excuse as to why I am not doing it.

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I am still ‘in control of myself’ due to me making the decision to not do it at the moment – I stop and I breathe, I realize that this false sense of stability upon ‘deciding to not do it’ is in fact the result of extensive self-brainwashing/ backchatting myself into thinking why it is pertinent to ‘do it later, not now,’ which exists as further thoughts in my head that I have given attention to in order to see them as ‘plausible’ for me to use as a way to get myself out of the task at hand while remaining in ‘good standing’ within my mind – not realizing that all of this takes place ONLY in my mind and that it is in fact even complicated having to make up all of these nonsensical excuses and justifications to not do it, while all that is required is simply doing it.

 

I commit myself to realize that backchatting/ brainwashing myself to not do things and believing that it is an ‘informed decision I’m making’ is obviously pointing out a great point of deception that must be stopped, as common sense as the physical doing and taking responsibility for the points to do is non-existent within all the series of excuses/justifications to not do things.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use backchat words and sentences that are not even long enough to try and ‘convince me’ of doing something else, but it is rather an already made decision to simply not do it, which indicates how laziness as a deliberate point of not doing it is allowing ourselves to simply follow our ‘greatest excitement’ as that ‘something’ that we’d rather do instead of committing ourselves to get a task/ project done.

Within this I realize that what must be integrated within me is the realization of who and what I am doing this for? And this is where the point of separation emerges: am I doing this for my parents? am I doing this for others to see that I have a career? am I doing this for ‘art’s sake’ ? Am I doing this to finally ‘get myself out the loop’? Am I doing this to get a piece of paper only? And how I have judged all of these points which have become then the actual obstacle to do it, as the starting point is not yet here aligned with and as myself as a decision I made, but something that I am still seeing as a MUST DO without aligning myself to it as a point of responsibility, but sill as some gnawing thing that I have to ‘get myself into’ for a reason in separation of myself.

This clarifies another aspect that I wasn’t clearly seeing yet if it wasn’t for writing this out and placing in front of me how it is that backchat is really foolish and how there is something ‘deeper’ than just single sentences of ‘not wanting to do it,’ but the reasons WHY I am not doing it is what must be faced.

When and as I see myself wanting to ‘do something’ that I see as a burden to do, I stop and I breathe – I investigate How I have separated myself from this single task and how it is that I have not become the starting point of such task/ job/ work/ writing to do but instead deviated it into doing it for someone else/ for some other cause in separation of me, myself directing myself to respond to the actions I have committed myself to complete, which also implies realizing it is within these points that I actually push-through  – and not necessarily ‘like them’ at the beginning – that I can support myself the most with, as it is breaking through my own views, perspectives and preferences toward parts of my reality that I had held a judgment toward, otherwise how else would I be resisting/ avoiding doing something if it wasn’t because I am holding a judgment toward it that becomes a seemingly ‘great obstacle’ within it all.

It is all self-talk that must be directed and disclosed in order for me to ensure I stop making things ‘more’ than what they are in my head through a mind-assessment of physical reality, instead of remaining here as breath and simply directing myself to do this at the physical level it requires so.

to be continued.

 

“I commit myself to not accept and allow myself to use the resistance as an excuse, reason or justification to give into energy and give up on me, as I see, realise and understand that it’s again another form of mind-manipulation to sabotage/compromise my responsibility to me and my living/application in reality.” – Sunette Spies*

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I am the only one that can stop my own mind control 

Blogs:

Out of the Interdimensional Portal’s Oven!

  • Quantum Mind Self-Awareness – STEP 14

  • The Consciousness of the Fly – Part 1 : this is a series that will blow your mind to what extent we get mesmerized by our backchat, internal conversations to judge an apparent/ seemingly ‘great civilization’ while we’re not even aware of how other organisms interact with the earth, how we came to be a physical design that exists as the merging of energy and substance and why we have come to destroy our creation instead of having used for further self-support, expansion and LIVING.  A must hear overall.


Day 23: E-cummulation

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be/become a being that will only ‘accept myself’ / my ‘who I am’ based on the extent/amount of energy-experience I accumulate/manifest as consume within/as myself”

Sunette Spies Accept and Allow – the Contract with Death: DAY 22

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to define myself and my beingness as a limitation, a caging of self-expression into a confinement called experience wherein who I am was reduced to being a single word as the name of an experience that I could identify as ‘who I am,’ in order to think, believe and perceive that ‘this is who I am’ and according to such definition, thinking ‘I am alive’ –

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never question or even ponder about the experiences that I became so automated to seek, such as a sense of satisfaction, a single thrill from going to places, meeting people, hearing music, watching/ observing the world wherein I created relationships as experiences wherein all that I would ever experience is myself as my own programmed energetic reactions as the definitions that I created in order to make me feel ‘good’ or ‘bad’ about myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with anything/ anyone in my world in order to keep myself occupied in a constant experience that I created about something/ someone as that constant fueling ‘toward’/ in the expectation of an experience within a certain event, within consuming something, within meeting someone, within going to a certain place, within buying something wherein it would always feel better to exists in such anticipation that would eventually wane once that such expectation was fulfilled in either a positive or negative result, and within this experience the ups and downs of my self created patterns of experiences that I defined myself as ‘living for.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always seek a crutch to keep living/ keep going in my reality – whether it was waiting for school to end, waiting for vacations, waiting for a concert, wanting to meet someone, waiting to ‘be older’ and always future projecting these events that I would accumulate energy toward and when such events would be gone/ fulfilled/ completed, I would go just like a vampire seeking for another ‘energy source’ for my next high to accumulate energy to eventually have it dissipate once that the ‘target was met’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become a moment/ experience builder wherein through giving meaning and values to everything and everyone around me, I crafted my own networks of energetic resources to ‘sip from’ – and within this it is to be understood how we have not in fact ever lived, because we have only sought to get high from energy and energetic experiences in either a positive, negative or neutral spectrum wherein we are constantly feeding a ‘state of mind’ that is kept as a constant thinking in our heads and in that, not being aware of what is it that I am in fact doing to myself, because I cannot see how thoughts that I create require energy to exist and such energy is sipped from the food that I consume as the physical resources in order to keep my ‘personal mind-heaven’ going as a constant experience-seeker.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to fear losing the relationships that I had formed toward people/ things/ places/ past and present because of thinking that I would be ‘dead’ as a ‘vegetable,’ without realizing that who I am as Life doesn’t require and in fact is violated/ abused the moment that we use it and denigrate its wholeness as substance into a single energetic experience wherein I am defining myself as that experience that I believe is ‘fulfilling’ and ‘satisfactorily’ which is how  I accepted and allowed to continue ‘building up experiences’ as memories that I could keep in my mind to continue my dreams and desires going, believing that I was doing ‘no harm’ in following these experiences, even though I was aware of how the effect of such highs would lead me to a low that I would seek to get back on top again, and in that allow myself to exist in this vicious cycle of ups and downs and believing that when I was in a ‘neutral’ state, I was ‘stable’ no realizing that I was still simply waiting in the middle ground to have some positive or negative experience to wind up my energetic self-experience again.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge the point of ‘stopping the mind’ as being dead and being ‘idle’ without realizing that the idleness that I would experience was self-created through thinking patterns of not getting ‘enough’ positive experiences and not being able to take me down to the bottom of the extreme negative out of fear of who I would become-  therefore idleness was a constant state of seeking and fearing myself as experiences, that I would cover up or maintain in a perceived ‘nothingness’ status quo, without realizing that I was in fact thinking myself into it, and still only defining myself as that experience of ‘nothingness’ without realizing that I was not really Here, breathing as my physical body – I was simply in a limbo position wherein self-direction was non existent.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my self direction and self-will to the will of who I am as what I have defined myself within the context of experiences as positive, negative and evidently neutral experiences wherein my beingness became a ‘state of being,’ wherein ‘who I am’ became a single definition according to ‘how I am experiencing myself’ and in this, never really considering that the physicality that I am and exist as is in fact the reality of myself – simply because of having accepted these energetic experiences as ‘who I am,’ and within this perceiving breathing, being here as being dead. The world is in reverse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into moments of yearning to ‘experience’ something which is just like a drug addict that yearns to have another fix, just because of realizing to what extent we have defined who we are according to an experience, a rush, an ‘elevation’ that can only last for so long wherein the rest of this reality is absolutely side viewed and disregarded, because I accepted and allowed myself to only care about me, my satisfaction and this becoming part of the army of egotism as a ‘lifestyle’ wherein we as human being compete against each other, create deliberate conflict in order to be on top of others, deliberate cheat and lie to become ‘better’ than others in our own minds – and i f such results are not fulfilled, we veer to a negative reinforcement wherein the opposite experiences are embraced in order to get the same energetic experience yet within a not so popular way of creating our own personal heaven, which is how paraphilias and so called mental fetishisms are created, as such ‘special relationships’ that are not broadly accepted as ways to trigger out emotions/ feelings just the same way that light and love is broadly accepted as an energy trigger.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that I could not be ‘someone’ unless  I was valued, worthy, recognized, appraised by others which meant that without the experiences that I would get from such relationships, I would perceive myself as non-existent, just because of the extent that I had delegated everything that I am as a physical breathing human body to only be running on energetic experiences at a mind level, wherein suffering or any perceived depression was equally satisfactory in a reversed manner, wherein I would get a kick out of that which is gloomy and depressive and sad/ dismal/ lugubrious/ obscure – without ever considering that I was living just the opposite side of seeking happiness, bliss, love, light and all the positive aspects that I deemed as ‘socially acceptable,’ which meant that my energetic-drive was a constant opposition toward that which was socially acceptable as good/ benevolent, which came from me designing myself a deliberate disruption to a perceived perfect world and stable environment, which means that

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always want to get an energetic experience the moment that I perceived that ‘nothing was going on,’ which asserted me as only being ‘existent’ and ‘alive’ if I was desiring, looking forward to, expecting, seeking, wanting, desiring, as these energetic hooks that I would extend to something/ someone in order to keep that mind-relationship in place that I could use at any given moment to trigger a positive or negative experience out of, without ever realizing that I was merely confirming that negative experienced that ensued the moment that I separated myself form the whole in this individualization of ‘who I am’ as only a definition, an idea of self, a set of preferences and dislikes that can only exists as a particular configuration of ‘who I am’ wherein all actions, thoughts, deeds had a calculated outcome/ effect according to my input/ placing myself as the cause to obtain a result, which is what lead me to become like a hunter or a vampire in my reality wherein everything that I would say/ do/ think and live out would be in order to get an experience out of what I perceived others would do/ say/ convey as a result of my input, wherein I became an actual energy-hunter with strategies and energy-triggers that I embodied as ‘who I am,’ in order to get people’s attention and at the same time, be rejecting such attention which is the typical love-hate polarity game that we play in order to keep our poles as energetic devices that run on energy, which is what I used my physical body to do, just an energy transformer to fulfill my mind-elations.

 

 

“we’ve become beings within existence, that only exist for as long as we can power/empower ourselves from/of the transforming of our beingness substance into/as Energy – limiting the ‘time’ of our existence to the equation of the relationship between our substance and the consuming of that substance into energy. Where in the very nature/manifestation within ourselves as manifested-singularities in the beginning, we’d come into being as an individualized part/expression of/as substance, but immediately proceed with the processes of consuming our own substance/life and transforming it into energy. And as we continue within that process, we’re consuming our own ‘life’.” Sunette Spies [a]

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to get used to being constantly seeking and experiencing ‘something’ as giving name to that self-created and maintained experience at a mind level toward my reality and people wherein within this self-idealization as separate from the rest, all that was left for me to do is giving names, categorizing, assessing, valuing, devaluing this reality into a way that I could claim was ‘my own life’ as ‘my opinion’ about the world, as ‘my perspective’ as ‘my mind’ that I sought to have people ‘respect’ because I had taken the time to dissociate myself in specific elitist manners wherein not everything/ everyone could be part of my ‘specialized world’ in my mind wherein only ‘special beings’ and ‘special people’ and ‘special traits’ would be regarded as worthy of being in my mind-trophy wall of points that would make me feel good about myself/ others and the world as a point of relationship/ separation from who I really am, wherein I was making the statement of ‘I am an individual that exists as this specific configuration of separation as relationships that trigger a positive or negative experience within me, wherein I am nothing else but these experiences that I get from naming, identifying, judging, valuing, assessing others and everything in separation of myself, which is how I had lived as a knowledge and information robot that disregarded the very life essence that would allow such thoughts, such schemes, such experiences to continue as thoughts  in my head that would turn into experiences that would turn into ‘who I am’ in any given moment.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to live for and drive myself to seek the most ‘original ways’ as usually understood as that desire to be as ‘singular/ special/ unique’ as possible wherein deliberate fascinations as relationships to what which wasn’t ‘socially acceptable/ embraced’ became ‘my point of fascination’ wherein I believed that I was ‘unlike anyone else’ because no one that I knew would have the same likes and preferences, and in this, I felt ‘special’ and ‘rivalry-safe’ wherein anyone that could seemingly present a similar pattern of likes/ preferences in my world, I would immediately identify as a potential rival/ enemy that I had to overcome and out-do in any possible way, which implied I had to go a notch higher to identify myself with a more ‘extreme’ version of that which defined ‘who I am’ in order to always be able to remain as a ‘winner’ within the idea of who I am toward my environment and others in it.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to always put all effort, time and money to make of any experience within my life something that I could call ‘memorable’ as the creation and energy-input that I would give in order to get the most ‘fulfilling effect’ out of it, as a memory that I could keep/ cherish for further ‘remembrance’ as in being able to re-live that energy as ‘who I am’ in any given moment, just like the mechanism of revamping experiences through memories and get the same ‘experience’ that I had initially decided I would imprint such memory with, wherein my memories became ‘my life,’ the definition of me as events, people, places, words, things as the e-ccumulation of myself as this energized personality as my ego, as ‘my precious’ that I had carefully crafted in order to eventually, someday, be ‘proud of who I am’ as a lifetime achievement of these positive experiences that could make me feel like ‘more’ than who I am as the simplicity of a physical body here, that I never ever regarded as the actuality of who I really am, and instead having lived the exact opposite wherein ‘all that I was’ was this collection of memories, events, experiences that I could re-live/ re-vamp through bringing the memory here and getting the same energetic experience out of it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that ‘who I am’ is this accumulation of energy as memories, experiences and ideas of myself in order to eventually be able to judge my life as successful, miserable or plain/ dull according to the expectations as dreams that I had set up for myself while growing up, wherein the pursuit of happiness was reinforced in school when having to write about our future and ‘where would we see ourselves in’ wherein if one would not achieve such dreams, I would deem my life as a failure; without realizing that it is within these future projections to ‘fulfill my dreams’ that I accepted and allowed myself to continue supporting the same system of incentives and rewards as ‘living’ wherein the accumulation of ‘who I am’ can be eventually considered as a successful living or not within my own mind and at the eyes of others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘miss out on life’ because of constantly talking myself into an experience and seeking for some experience deliberately either positive or negative but ‘experiencing’ something as I feared my non-thinking and non-existence as not being experiencing something, which is the exact opposite of what is actually real, wherein being here breathing, moment by moment is living and any diversion from the physical moment as breathing, is indicating me a point of relationship as an experience that I have created within myself in separation of who I am.

I realize that within being here as a whole, I don’t require to ‘accept’ myself as something as I am it, – therefore I see the importance of walking all past relationships as the very manifestation of separation-codes that I created toward ‘others’ in my reality as a reference of my relationships toward everything/ everyone to keep my ‘personality’ in place, wherein I had to ‘have an opinion’ have an experience toward everything and everyone in order to be able to ‘relate to them,’ which was diminishing ‘who I am’ as a character seeking to establish relationships of acceptance/ rejection of others in separation of self, a complete cycle of segregation from the wholeness that I have neglected as who I really am.

 

I commit myself to walk my relationships as the point of responsibility that I hold toward myself as the whole as the points that I have created and deliberately participated in ensuing separation within the acceptance of me as a character/ personality/ ego that ‘had to’ have an experience toward reality, otherwise I would be seen as ‘character-less’ and ‘bland’ and ‘dead’ which is how I accepted to play the games of society to always be either in a positive or a negative experience for the sake of complying to what we have socially accepted as ‘living’ as being either happy/ fulfilled/positive experience or miserable/ depressed/negative experience, as the polarities that would invariably go up and down in each being’s life in order to maintain a polarized reality that would generate enough energy to keep our ‘heaven’ in place as a custom-made paradise that would apparently fulfill our dreams/ our lives as a reward of living an accumulation of good deeds within the score-kept to eventually believe that I could be ‘more’ at the end of my life than who I really am, which is ludicrous in nature – yet as real as the consequences/ effect of my initial belief within this energetic system as ‘who I am.’

 

I commit myself to walk the necessary writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to walk my relationships as points of separation into ‘giving back to myself’ as the reintegration of myself as who I really am wherein all reactions created toward ‘another’ are recognized as self and as such, given-back to finally stop participating in generating energy to continue living as a e-ccumulation of experiences as ‘who I am,’ which is correcting my living from ego/ as energy experiences into an earthing-grounding-birthing myself as a physical being that does not require to thrive on energy to exist – but only establish equal agreements toward everything and everyone within the necessary relationships that we are currently existing as Life in this reality.

 

That implies that a practical way to stop all friction, all positive reinforcement and negative devaluing is through equalizing Money in this reality to finally recognize each other as equal-parts of who I am, as equal-cells of the body that I exist as wherein I realize within common sense how it is the only way that we can continue living in this world, otherwise cancer is created as an over-growth that indicates negligence toward the whole as who I am. For this the Equal Money System is the solution that will equalizing the playing field within humanity to start acknowledging each other as equals, while walking our individual processes of re-educating ourselves to grasp, understand and live the law of our being as equality as a living realization of who we really are.

 

 

I realize that keeping myself within the existence of ‘who I am’ as energy, I am ensuring my own depletion as keeping my ego in place implies I must consume the earth to exist as I am defining the ‘who I am’ in separation of the whole, which is how this reality has become the egofication as the fixations that we created and accepted as ourselves within our minds as experiences toward all in separation of ourselves. Thus for me to establish an equal and one recognition, I set agreements wherein no abuse is possible as such separation will recede as I walk a process of self-forgiveness to give myself back to myself, reintegrating myself to all the parts that I have defined myself in separation of.

 

 

Last Man on Earth

Last Man on Earth 2009

“The World-System of Money is consuming the very life of/as this physical existence, only because it’s on an existential scale it takes longer than what we do within ourselves and our own human physical bodies, where instead of this existence being manifested within the equal and one support of life and living – the World-System of Money is consuming this physical existence to its slow, sure but certain death. Rotting ourselves away from the inside and out, as we have become the very enzymes within our relationship to substance/physical as our relationships creations of energy that deteriorate and break-down substance/physical-tissue for our own survival as Energy-Consuming machines: Rotting ourselves away within and without – instead of standing equal-to and one with substance/physicality to produce life/living…” Accept and Allow – the Contract with Death: DAY 22

 

Blogs for Further Support:

 

Visit journey to life for more blogs


2012 R.I.P. God

To place this into context – this is the result of being back and forth writing about  God these days – more than usual –  through comments, messages, blogs.  I reply to several comments a day when I have to explain the non-existence of God over and over again wherein words tend to become automated – and I am now being asked to  ‘define ‘god’ in a short sentence’ – within my mind it’s like wtf? Why should I define something that doesn’t exist? Yet, I breathe and see that this is a ‘big concept’ that is still ruling the lives of many, many beings. Therefore – God, here we go.

I’ll share a moment I had at the farm.

Bernard asked me: So, what if there IS a God?

For a moment I froze over to this question wherein the initial reaction was that of having all my blasphemous fears rising up – what if ‘God’ was actually something that could punish me after having denied ‘him’ and talked bs about it? Yes, the religious construct was immediately faced in a split second there.  Then I realized in  common sense and replied: If there was a God it wouldn’t matter/ it would make no difference as God would then be one and equal as well.

This is to understand that we can only create something ‘more’ or ‘less’ and fear it if existing in separation from it = not considering Oneness and Equality.

In other words, the God concept can only exist in separation of ourselves as this ‘higher entity’ in our minds – in reality, all is one and equal.

If you equate ‘God’ to ‘all’ or ‘Life’ or ‘the universe’ or ‘existence’ or ‘Earth,’  then you can just call it for what it is – there’s no need to hold within our minds a concept that has its origin in a religious construct based on masters and slaves, on worshiping an idea instead of living by naming things for what they are. Instead of having to ‘believe’ in something invisible or ‘almighty’ or ‘whole and perfect’ in itself, we rather dedicate ourselves to speak words that we can relate ourselves to in this physical reality, where we can create and become a living example of what life must be in equality.

If you define ‘God’ as a creator – realize that all that is currently here is manifested by the Earth, as itself – we are the ones that are responsible for whatever happens to it as a deliberate intervention and relationships we form in it, in order to live – and also destroy/ abuse/ exploit it in the name of ‘power’ and ‘greed,’ which goes hand in hand with our monetary system. The Earth cannot abuse itself, we have stood as that point in reality, we have created and used words like ‘God’ to abdicate the responsibility for our creation, just as we use the word ‘love’ to cover up the actual suffering and pain that goes on in this world because of the reasons mentioned above.

You can get a thorough perspective and investigation on what was really going on within the ‘Godly realms of Heaven’ – how it is that people were really being ‘guided’ and given some fluffy experience that could be called ‘god’ and ‘joy’ as the entire idea of ‘God’ as a systematic energetic experience that was merely preprogrammed, while the actual physical exists in extreme pain and suffering. You can also read all about how the white-light system was dismantled and within that, how the ‘creators’ of this reality were exposed as it is all explained/ existent within the Desteni material.

All the mawkish associations like

God is Love

or

God is Joy

or

God is Freedom

or

God is Mercy

etc.…

All of that is to create connections between words that have been deliberately preprogrammed to make you get a warm/ fuzzy feeling as energy churning within you and associate it with the word ‘God,’ so that it could – at least – have some type of sensation to it, because we have definitely not been able to see any ‘god’ in this reality as it is usually conceived/ perceived as an almighty being/ higher being/ or a ball of super-powerful energy or invisible force.

There is no greater energy than the one that is existent in its totality here – any more or less conceived in that is separation existent at a mind level only.

The bucket of cold water for me to get rid of the belief of God was Desteni and the material wherein the entire enslavement of man through the White-Light Construct was explained. I mean, I used to believe in a God as well – by tradition, by comfort, by having that ‘need’ of something or someone to solve things for me, to protect me, to not feel alone, to not feel like all of this life was in vain – and this can be applied to any other relationship I formed within my reality.

I really wanted to make this blog as short as I could but… now I have to bring this up otherwise the case is not closed and you might come up with further questions about it.

The book: Life after God by Douglas Coupland– this book depicts how in a society wherein everything seems to be ‘lost’ and ‘helpless,’ we turn to God as the last resort to at least have a little faith in something. Okay, for a moment I went into the thought ‘it seems very awkward having to talk about God and my experience toward it’ just because it’s been quite some time that I stopped believing in anything like that- but that’s just a mind-limitation, I bring the point Here and share it/ communicate about it. 

The point about the book is how it ends with this passage wherein – I won’t spoil it – in essence the character is declaring requiring God to keep going, because he couldn’t continue/ keep going by himself, alone. And I resonated a lot with this at that time (some 6 years ago) because I felt as lost as all the characters of that book felt like – and I thought that the only way out of my own misery was through seeking God. And that’s how my entire ‘spirituality’ journey began which I have written about in several blogs throughout these past months and years – recent example is ‘The Feel Good Times’ – Yet my incursion in spirituality and religions was more of a brief walk  to see what would fit my idea of god – yeah, just like a custom-made god and religion, that’s what I was aiming for back then.

When I realized that the string I had attached to god and wanting to develop this ‘relationship with God’ was essentially based on saving my ass and out of enlightened self-interest, to ‘be at ease’ with myself, it became very obvious that I had resorted into the idea of God out of desperation, out of that desire to have something to ‘live for’ or something to ‘live up to’ in a way. I hadn’t realized myself as that point of my existence to live for. I didn’t accept myself, I would not consider myself as something ‘worthy of living’ at times, I would consider myself as a nuisance to the world and in my attempt to become ‘something,’ I turned to God, seeking to make myself ‘greater’ with all of these ideas of reaching enlightenment or some holistic understanding of this reality that could make me feel ‘better’ about myself – simply because I was existing as a bundle of fears, a whole fucking lot of fears.

This means that resorting to God was my way of coping with an extensive ‘fear of god’ that I went through – mostly created out of the beliefs in spirituality with being aware of the afterlife and demons and dead people being able to lurk around here on Earth everywhere and creating an intense fear of being watched the whole time. I would fear ‘god’ knowing all my secrets, I feared these ‘guides’ and beings being taking notes of everything I did, so that they could ventilate it whenever I would be in the presence of such ‘sessions’ wherein we were apparently given “support and protection from ‘the evil of this world.”

Why would ‘God’  then not just defeat such evil? Why having to go around floating with a protective mechanism to not be influenced by others? I had a great laugh when listening in these History of the Portal interviews how guides would be walking around like that when coming to Earth – it is amusing to hear these stories now, however when I was into believing in a God, I would pretty much feel like bound to this need to ‘do the right thing’ all the time, out of fear of being judged in the presence of this god or ‘guides’ that we would – apparently – be in contact with on a regular basis. I won’t go into details about it, it’s not relevant as it was all preprogrammed and part of the entire ‘specialness’ point in my religious-system based on spirituality.

So – to sum it up, I used the God idea for a while to try to see things in a positive way. When getting to Desteni and starting watching the news again, documentaries, videos that revealed the reality of this world, I definitely saw how I had simply used god/ spirituality/ positivity as the way to hide all the fears that I had toward myself, toward this reality, toward humans, toward facing myself and everything that is here basically. It was like having the NOD32 God being upgraded and feeling protected against all the viruses as fears that I would have toward myself, it was like eating a candy that will make your mouth sweet for a while and then just leaving the same bitter taste.

How can God exist in a world of abuse, poverty, starvation… I mean I feel like a robot having to explain this because it’s just plain obvious now, because I cannot conceive how something ‘magnificent’ can be believed to exist in a world with astounding separation and negligence toward LIFE.

God is just a word that represents the quick fix we have created as humanity to have someone to blame for our creation, to have something to ‘hold on to’ whenever we felt too lost to continue, to have something to aspire to get to be-with once we are dead, to deposit faith upon simply because we weren’t able to trust ourselves, we hadn’t allowed ourselves to become ‘the’ point of our existence.

That’s the process, and that’s how we walk it. I’m glad to be walking out of that as the entire idea that I have enslaved myself-to, which is my own ego as personality that has held all of these fears and limitations in place.

I named the blog R.I.P. God as the final leaving-the concept-alone for once and for all, it serves no purpose, it has no physical correlation to what is here, we simply take it as the piece of preprogrammed concept that continued the enslavement of man. We stop it, we forgive ourselves for having accepted and allowed ourselves to be dominated and bound to such superior alter-ego as our god-creation, and walk the process of self-realization of who we are as one and equal. We thus act according to the laws of the physical reality to become a self-responsible being, within the consideration of all the points that require to be corrected and directed to co-create a world that’s best for all – no need to believe in anything for that.

There is No God. There is No need to even discuss about it further – we simply focus on what is Here to establish Life in Equality.

thanks for reading –

Some blogs/ notes written about the God point in the previous days:

God – Why believing in God is Abuse

Divine Economics: Money or God?

Groups wherein evidence of how God / Religions separate this reality are shared:

Stop All Religions and Live Equal

God – and why believing in God is insane

For support on how to walk out of the God relationship into a living-reality of Self Responsibility: Desteni Forum •

coti 11090179

Cool video by Jan Erik Hansen:

Are the poor really blessed?


2012 Life After Death–Interdimensional Portal

It’s been some years since I’ve been writing and I can’t recall having written about meeting Sunette – the portal – at Desteni while being in South Africa.

I had explained before how watching her in the videos wasn’t such a ‘new thing’ for me in terms of having beings talking from the ‘afterlife’ through a human being’s body – even though I later on got to know that channeling wasn’t precisely what she was doing. However being living with her and witnessing how it all works was something quite amazing, yet ‘normal’ as every being that is in the body simply does the same stuff that Sunette would do in any given moment. Whenever I was curious I would ask  ‘who’s in the body?’ this I would do whenever I could notice a particular voice tonality or ‘stance’ that I could recognize wasn’t Sunette – some other times it’s just imperceptible and you learn how to stop creating any idea of ‘who Sunette is’ in contrast to the rest of the beings. I see that’s part of the Equality and Oneness process wherein each being can only have these distinctive remarks as long as we try to find/ spot them – other than that, it’s just an equal and one expression, all equally part of ourselves which is quite fascinating nonetheless.

I could write my personal stories of being a bit surprised in relation to particular beings that would come through and my reactions to it – however the point here is to simply declare that it becomes such a ‘usual thing’ that we even tend to forget what ‘the portal’ actually represents for humanity and existence as a whole.

Hearing the Interview ‘History of the Interdimensional Portal – Part 2’ reminded me that which is still fascinating about Desteni, that which I can answer almost on a daily basis in semi-automated answers in YouTube videos in relation to Sunette being an interdimensional portal, and how her body is the point of physical expression for beings coming through from the dimensional existence to share and communicate about the existential process we are currently walking. However, listening to stories like this made me realize the actual Process we are living, which is a once in an existential-lifetime opportunity for us to finally realize who and what we really are beyond the veils of our mind, as Life – as One and Equal.

It is interesting that we have taken this point as a ‘regular thing’ within our reality, at least for myself after being so used to hearing, reading and chatting with dimensional beings – well, the latter while being at the farm with Sunette around – that I simply didn’t create any further ‘divide’ or separation of being talking with beings that are dimensional = don’t have a physical body/ are not alive any longer as in having a ‘life of their own’ on Earth – yet the words are and have been one of the key points within Desteni and our process as humanity.

I understand that this is the part of Desteni that many people still react to in terms of not being able to ‘prove it’/ witness it for themselves, however we have given testimony of it even in situations wherein we have been scrutinized for traveling ‘all across the globe’ to be at the farm, which is the usual point of identifying it with ‘meeting the portal.’ I can only say that one can make a ‘big deal’ out of it if the message is not heard, because it was through all the words that have come through the portal from beings in existence that I actually got to realize what regarding each other as equals actually implies, which is something that then takes off the ‘weight’ of the portal being something ‘more’ than us, once that we understand what oneness and equality actually means. Within this, there is no need to ‘believe’ in it, but simply HEAR the words and live the message that is shared.

Back to the interview…

The story narrated by this 7 year old boy that died, describes his entire realization of being in a different dimension on Earth. It reminded me of that which is still here yet we have veiled ourselves off from because of being only existing as our mind and in that, missing out the entire existence that is HERE and has always been here. This places into perspective the fact that we have been only walking thought-feeling-emotion machines without any further idea of there being something else to this life.

The fascination that I got from listening to this interview was similar to the one I got from listening to the Atlanteans interviews, which have been so far the history of existence coming from ancestors that we have never gotten to know of in this reality until now, narrated and explained with such detail that makes us really ‘wake up’ to see the bits of ourselves that we have missed within this reality, while being so occupied within our own mind and fighting against each other.

I see for myself how I tend to ‘lose perspective’ at times of what it is that I am actually getting to hear within these interviews as something that I would have never gotten to know of if it wasn’t for the existence of the Portal itself. However, it is also cool that it doesn’t become something ‘more’ than myself, I simply see it as part of the realization of getting to equalize ourselves to as one and equal, which is the entire process we are walking here. The importance or relevance of hearing these stories from the afterlife, as well as the history of mankind, is simply to get a broader perspective about ourselves, about existence and life itself, to learn how to take all points into consideration in terms of the realization that everything we are and do is part of a whole, and within this take Self Responsibility accordingly.

Listening to any material that has been created by the portal/ Sunette for the last 5 years now, has been a definitive turning point for humanity – whether people are aware of it or not – and this is what makes it such an important point to create a reference for as part of this process. With this I mean: we probably wouldn’t be here writing and sharing and applying ourselves within this process if Heaven had not ever been dismantled as the entire system of enslavement that it was.

As fascinating as this may seem for anyone reading here that didn’t have any reference to what Desteni is, I suggest taking a moment to simply listen to that interview as well as any other interview in the Internet from Desteni, as each video-interview is a key point to get to know ourselves, to understand who and what we really are and, most importantly, HOW we can practically assist and support ourselves to become a living-part of the solution that is proposed as the Equalization of Life as who we really are. (See the Unification of Man as I am)

We have never had such an opportunity in existence before. We have this one lifetime to stand up for Life and realize all the lies that we have perpetuated as this current mess of reality and stop them forevermore. Obviously within stopping = a new input must be created, and that’s in essence how we are walking our process to realize and understand what it practically means to stand as One and Equal as this reality – these are common words yet not properly understood within the actual implication at an existential level of what they imply.

For that, I can only suggest visiting the Desteni website and forum for further support as it is definitely quite an extensive amount of material that has been unconditionally published since 2007, plus all of the thousands of blogs and vlogs by us Destonians. We are here and walking the material as our own process which is what makes of Desteni such a cool group of people that are daring to walk ourselves out of our mind and into the physical  – which is nothing else than realizing who we really are as Life and giving us proper support for that to establish a system in this reality that can make of Equality as Life a Reality, regardless of any current obstacle such as money. For that, read all about the Equal Money System

To wrap this up, don’t be afraid to get to know what there is beyond the reality that we see with our current physical eyes, everything/ everyone is one and equal as ourselves and we are here to realize so that we can Birth-Ourselves as Life from the Physical, to finally and actually Be Here.

Enjoy!

Portal expanded interdimensionaly

History of the Interdimensional Portal – Part 3

Self-Extraction out of the body - Interdimensional Portal

The Story of Sunette


Seeking God is a money-driven scam

Religion promotes self interest, focusing on a set of beliefs that are directed to fulfill those  ‘spiritual needs’ that a human being is seemingly bound to experience on Earth.  Such ‘fulfillment’ is linked to obtaining that which we’ve equated our ‘happiness’ to, which can only be real if you have the money to give it to yourself. Eh, so where was ‘god’ in the entire equation anyways?

This is a special extra-lengthy sunny god Sunday edition partly influenced by a chat we had earlier and because of having at  least some 3 to 4 churches in a peripheral area of less than a kilometer – one around the corner by the way– where after coming home from a walk I imagined having to go to one of those rites and sit flat listening some man perorate on how ‘god’ will save you and you must repent and feel shitty for your sins. Glad that this was never my type of Sundays, though I did go through the entire god-seeking experience.

The fact that religions are popular is because they are seemingly promoting the ‘good will of man’ through being ‘benevolent’ toward fellow human beings and kind of earning good-karma – o sorry that’s the wrong religion – earning sufficient patting from god that will eventually draw you closer to the golden gates of paradise a.k.a.  salvation, which in the eyes of regular mortals like you and me that’s equated to being eternally blissful and existing in a happy ending that’s being promoted by both the Vatican and Disney alike.

Forgiveness is promoted as something that you ask for – as if you weren’t able to give it to yourself and require your master’s permission for that or something along the lines; then told by your pastor / herd manager to do the pertinent retribution after which you’ll feel ‘so good’ that you’ll drop some of your coins around as a gesture of gratefulness for experiencing such an easy brainwash and go back to ‘feeling good’ or at least less guilty. Sounds ludicrous now in terms of ‘asking’ for forgiveness, though this is it all works  in the world of mastering-manipulation through religious ‘principles.’

Within that, another type of indirect way of clearing your aura from past sins is paying your Sunday tithing where your benevolence is measured (me-assured) according to the number of zeros your bill has – yes, there we already have  a commercial per-chasing situation of paying-buying that involves money. You pay according to the amount of pain you’ve caused  for your sins with a set of prayers where words lose all possible meaning, where you talk yourself to ‘feel better’ without ever even daring to see/ acknowledge  the cause of committing such actions in the first place.  Then there’s the ultimate blissful moment on Sundays where a specific song is sang and the basket comes along your way:  you have to ‘pay’  for such absolved sins with actual money which will ensure you a seat in the front row on your way to heaven. Now you’re saved, forgiven and smiled at  by some man that heard your atrocities while, I’m sure, he’s done that and sometimes even more than that. This is based on real experiences and facts that I won’t discuss here, though I’ve had my trail on ‘religion’ and the power that they hold in fact – by power meaning money obviously which allows them to be so popular in conditioning the minds that seek for salvation and forgiveness instead of giving it to themselves.

How else would religion become the greatest corporation or monopoly around the world if it wasn’t through tackling on human’s feeble minds that seek a god to take responsibility for them while being willing to pay for a quick mind fix and feel ‘good’ about it all?  Imperialism. Oppression of those ‘weak minded pagan people’ that they eventually turned into the most fervent Catholics on Earth. It’s was only through a constant and consistent indoctrination – which also involved actual physical and verbal abuse – that religion was able to be accepted as equal to the executive and judicial powers of a nation.

Even if the catholic church/ Christianity promote ‘asking for forgiveness’, the saint inquisition as a subdivision of the Catholic Roman Church was one of the first institutions that promoted a form of capital punishment through the inquisition directed to those that refused to accept ‘god as their savior’ – might be confusing the motto with Islam, but it’s all the same anyways. There you would have heretics punished with the most vile artifacts I’ve ever seen in my life, all of them forming an exhibition that even after it is promoted as the actuality that it was – meaning coming in the combo of Christianity’s imperialism tactics to ‘reform’ those that failed to comply to the ‘one and only true god’ – people are still following such institution with a literal blind faith.

Why does religion doesn’t speak about self responsibility? Self Honesty? Well, because in the very depths of their agenda they must keep you bound to the idea that ‘you need them’, that ‘you need your god’, that you require to go there every Sunday to check out your neighbor’s wife – I mean, to check how bad/good you’ve been in that week, feel sad and miserable about it for the hour or so that the entire charade lasts and then leave  after having accepted that it was your fault and apparently repenting which will leave you with  a ‘clear conscience’. All of this after having left your juicy tithing which gives you the sensation of being now ‘freed from all your criminal activity’ during the week and so, you’re ready to do it all over again!

See, in any of those moments do we actually take  a look at the world outside of ourselves? One is only seeking for salvation, feeling better about oneself = not so miserable and creating a false sense of comfort through asking for world peace or hungry kids to be fed yet doing nothing in fact to promote solutions or expose the reality as it is. Why? Because the almighty belief in a god is more powerful than any common sense that won’t ever be shared in churches as that would be like setting their own boycott to have empty seat from the following Sunday on.

Self empowerment is then promoted by the seemingly counter-act to the orthodox religions which is spirituality. There you got the universe – not a single god – giving you all that you want while enhancing your ability to be ‘at ease’ and ‘in silence’ while the world is apparently just fine. In spirituality you’re also seeking to save your ass and sit on it for a while trying to ‘connect the source’; you also want to get to be with that godhead that some love to define as an ‘energy’ or an omniscient being that, ‘at least,’ is not defined by having long hair, blue eyes and a prominent beard – yet in essence the same stories and roles  as hierarchical systems are  lived and applied. Any real self empowerment and self realization would pose a threat to any religion/spiritual congregation because it would  free people from having to ‘follow spirituality/ being spiritual’ and consuming all of that which promotes ‘being at peace with yourself’ through blindfolding techniques where it’s definitely easier to sit on your ass and meditate yourself ‘till you’re feeling something fuzzy inside, than facing your own thoughts and the exact nature that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, which is not ‘good’ or benevolent, otherwise religions wouldn’t exist in the first place as they are the result of fear and abdication of self responsibility to a ‘higher being’.

When I was a child I would pray everyday on the way to school from day one up to when I finished elementary school. Looking back it’s fascinating  how in that moment I would get a feeling that I was doing something ‘good’ while praying for starving kids to be fed, yet at the same time asking for us (family) to win the lottery and get that huge house that meant the equivalent to ‘happiness’ on Earth at the time. So in essence asking ‘god’ for things in the same manner I would when blowing the candles on each Birthday cake.

My family wasn’t that religious, though this ‘our holy father’ prayer was something usually prayed as it seemed somewhat ‘real’. It would feel like something ‘solemn’ to do everyday – what a load of crap because the entire thing is about someone/ god doing stuff for us and preventing us from doing shit and giving us all – I mean, there is no actual sense of supporting each other as equals in it, or considering life as the only value, speaking, writing and communicating that which is of support to others and ourselves; I see no sentence that includes plants, animals and the environment as part of the equation in such prayer. It’s never worked obviously, I never won the lottery and starvation hasn’t been eradicated either.

I was taught to do this – I followed, that’s all I knew. I got to know of other ‘god’ ideas which I then felt fortunate for, almost like a chosen one for having this ‘direct link’ with the ‘realm of the death ones’ due to being familiar with channelings and spirituality. The fact that I kept that as secret and that we as a family would keep it as a secret reveals what type of cult it really was, really only a few knew about it yet it all seemed so real. Being familiar with the ideas/ beliefs of having these type of ‘privileges’ such as having people apparently ‘watching over me all the time’ created a sense of ‘god is watching me, I must be a good person or else I’ll be damned’ – the fear of god developed and within that, I got to know this world and the system for what it is.

Ludicrous that god as the policeman in the head is taught in religions. Some can even use the idea of god to educate their kids like ‘don’t swear or you’ll make baby Jesus cry!’

I never had crosses in my house – because of this entire spiritual thing that we were into which now I see it was no different with its own set of rules and secrets around it – but anyways, seeing them in my friends’ houses made me ponder how people liked seeing gory representations of a man with nails on hands and feet while agonizing in what evidently seems like a very painful death; then daring to carry them  around their necks and shaping them with all sorts of materials and motives – ludicrous. Yet at the same time I was mostly living with the fear of others’ negative vibes and ‘jealousy’ and essentially being aware of not doing anything that these ‘beings’ could see and later on recriminate myself with. It was ludicrous, they ‘knew it all’ and because it would be ventilated in front of everyone in my family, I’d rather focus on keeping my reputation somewhat clean.

That’s how I grew up with the fear of a ‘god’ as the punisher and the beliefs of asking for whatever you want that will make you happy while not forgetting to ‘drop a line’ to bless the people in Biafra so that they can  have something to eat.

From there my delusions on spirituality only escalated even beyond the spiritualism and channelings that I had grown up with. They became more elusive which was in direct consonance to my lifestyle of escapism while trying to make sense of this world, wanting to make my life have a certain ‘purpose’ or ‘meaning’ which was linked to me feeling like a chosen one to create my own religion. Lol. I became quite a nutjob for a while when seeking the truths and the ‘real salvation’ from this world. Nothing made sense yet there were patterns repeating all the way. That’s how when getting to Desteni everything fit, like the that  puzzle that I wouldn’t have ever been able to put together alone. I would sometimes feel like the hermit looking for some answer that only a fool could dare to embrace.

The point that I originally wanted to share here is how religious indoctrination should be regarded as mind control and harmful brainwashing as it enables children to believe in fantasy-like stories as their source of existing here; beliefs on ethereal beings that are apparently caring for you becomes quite the hair in the soup when we grow up and see that there are other people that are not exactly being ‘cared for’ and have to actually strive for a living. This creates a rift between the reality that is here and the stories that are told ‘as real’ within religion – and by religion I should ratify and clarify that I’m referring to the one that I was familiar with which is the catholic one. We are taught to be thankful because ‘we’ have what we need and for that, we’re taught to feel grateful and special because  the good old god ‘cares for us’ –  but what about the rest of the world?

Through such blessings and prayers we’re taught to ask for that which will ‘make us happy’, for that which will ensure that we are ‘safe’ and even healthy while still aiming to sit next to the holy father of god. Lol what a fuckup really. I can only say that promoting the idea of a benevolent god and indoctrinating that onto a child can only make you complicit of an atrocity that leads to the creation of irresponsible and airy-fairy human beings that believe that someone will do the job for them, and that anything ‘good’ that happens has been an act of the ‘divine forces’ that are now giving results after years of prayers to ‘get it’ – never actually questioning why isn’t the same ‘fortunate position’ not available for everyone equally?

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place my life at the ‘hands of god’ and creating a massive delusion within me as my life thinking that someone is always ‘taking care of me’ – within this developing a sense of being ‘special’ as well as being observed which unfolded in an irrational fear of god that then became the reason to ‘be good’, which stems from such initial fear.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create myself as the idea of a ‘benevolent person’ only out of ‘fear of god’, fear of being exposed for the ‘real intentions I had’ and exposing the nature of the deeds that I would hold in my mind in secret because of the threat they posed to my falsely created integrity.

It’s such a fuckup that we indoctrinate kids with morality, it is ludicrous for all the shit that it develops which is primarily fear of being punished or exposed or ‘falling from the grace of god’ if one is a bad bad kid. There must only be one single morality point: what’s best for all to end all poles of good/evil.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to motivate my life and ‘good actions’ as points and ‘credits’ that I would be seemingly saving and keeping a record of by this apparent god so that I could get to be eventually saved and having a great afterlife in this elusive paradise where I could finally get my ‘reward’ for being a ‘good girl in this world’.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to motivate me to move, to only do things and act in ways that were ‘good’ or seemingly ‘benevolent’ out of self interest only, out of accumulating my good-god points and later on ‘good karma’ wherein the underlying expectation of getting the same in return existed as a secret desire within me.

If we could’ve actually realized that it is possible to give and take openly as an equal and one relationship, there would be no need to expect rewards for ‘doing something good’ as it wouldn’t be labeled as ‘doing good’ or not, it would just be the way that things are conducted and lived in an Equality world – there no morality would be required, no expectation to get things in return but simply giving and taking within the same principle of equality as life – as what’s here.

We’ve compromised ourselves so much with creating certain attitudes that are seen as ‘goodwill’, developing quirks and mannerisms, words and appearances that will follow the norm of how ‘good people’ look and act like. It is not true, ‘good people’ are as equal as the most experienced scavenger like person that is seeking to get something out of something/ someone else – they only have different masks and accepted roles, but the essence of the final motivator to do so is the same in nature.

Daring to see this single aspect of ourselves might be tough for some, simply because we realize that we’ve never actually moved ourselves as an actual act of self-realization meaning self movement, but it was always motivated to obtain or become something/ someone of perceived ‘well-beingness’ and more often than not, of power and success = rich people = money.

So religion and its indoctrination is brewing hypocrisy in the world from head to toe. It is teaching that imaginary people are seemingly watching over you while fulfilling your dreams and making you all pampered and cared for, which  generates an inner conflict when realizing that there are billions of people that don’t ’ know ‘god’ because they’re not being pampered or cared for. This is how we discover the fact that we’ve been taught lies wherein parents are the ones that are responsible for, because the child knows nothing and has no idea of how to walk in the world – it is only through parents that they accept what they say as ‘fact’ and ‘truth’. As the child grows up we can expect him/her to not trust their parents ever again and do their own exploration and realizations to see what makes sense once they step into reality and see how it actually functions – this is though the most preferable way it goes, sometimes it turns out in further self abuse and confusion of what this world is and what living must be about. This is then linked to money of course and once that money is seen as the main driving force for religions and the idea of such god to exist, the idea of any altruism or benevolence is debunked.

That’s how at Desteni we are presenting common sense solutions that don’t require a single point of belief to be understood. The practical points of understanding how we exist and function in our reality can be cross referenced by anyone by directly investigating our reality, being our own reality-checker with regards to how relationships operate, how things ‘move’ within ourselves as experiences wherein we’ll always get down to seeing the accepted and allowed ‘nature of man’ in the current system as the source of such convenient belief or idea that motivates seeking one’s ‘heavenly experience’ in one way or another.

“All I want in life is to be happy” is what guides our actions, this is the real fucker that must be seen from all angles; even in walking this process if there’s but a single expectation of ‘making it,’ we expose it to ourselves for what it is as that would indicate we’re still playing the religion game, expecting something/ someone super natural to do things for us.

Exposing this is the least we can do to make sure more people are able to step out of the self-created see-through crystal box wherein we cage ourselves while believing we are free, because ‘the barrier’ is just so thin and clear. In fact the entire monetary system can be viewed as that single crystal clear barrier between ourselves and others. We believe we have free choice, we believe we have free will but in essence we’re just like rats in a cage as well, not even questioning the in or out as such comfortable status quo of never questioning reality is more enjoyable than having to go through the rather ‘uncomfortable’ realization of it all being a blatant lie. This is how I’m sure that many, many people would rather spend their days lying to themselves – even if being fully aware of doing so – than having to give up the illusion of happiness and fool-fill.ment that the single idea of god or someone watching over your head might provide –  yes, in some sick sense of our ‘spiritual requirements’ to not feel alone.

This has turned into another buybill as part of my white past seeking the holy-lies that would make me have such connection that I sought with all my might for something ‘divine’, something ‘out of this world’ that could give me a reason to exist and be. This is how I got to disregard all human aspects of reality, I deliberately neglected them to ensure I remained focused in this elusive spiritual realm that I thought I’d reach by being a ‘good god servant’ in a meek and positive way.

I perorate this religious rant with the following:

Self Respect is Not promoted through religion as you have to turn the other cheek before you realize you have to stand up for yourself and prevent any form of abuse in the first place.

Self Responsibility is not promoted through religion because you can ‘ask’ someone for forgiveness, but never give it to yourself as a way of realizing your own fuck up and being the real ‘master creator’ behind your experience.

Self-Trust is never promoted in religion as that would imply you wouldn’t require to pray and go to church to have your ‘god’ giving you all the strength and might that you can’t apparently give to yourself. You are encouraged to ‘trust your feelings/ heart’ which is only but a physical organ that doesn’t think, another delusion promoted by religion/lightworking malarkey.

Self Honesty is never part of your religious curriculum because realizing yourself as one and equal would debunk the imposition of hierarchy that keeps the chains of religion tied to each one’s feet.

Self Will is not promoted as you have to ask for courage and a certain reward in the way to move yourself to do anything in this world, otherwise ‘what would be the point of it all?’

Self Forgiveness is NOT promoted by religion of course, otherwise the priest would be prescinded and lose his job as the special pastor in the church of your preference, he wouldn’t be able to rejoice with the money that comes ‘indirectly’ as part of ‘paying for your sins’ besides existing in a personal inflated state of having some type of powers conferred on to him to hear other people’s dark deeds and be able to ‘absolve’ someone’s fuckups. Forgiveness is then ‘asked’ and not realized as part of taking Self Responsibility for our actions and consequences.

Self-Support is not promoted in religion as you are often led to and taught that you must ask God to give you the strength and you must follow an entire brainwashing session to make sense of this world while believing that an all-mighty invisible hand is guiding your actions and making you go through some nefarious experiences just to teach you a lesson, from which you’ll either come up to the surface again or die in the bottom of such situation. Yet apparently ‘god’ and his ‘mysterious ways’ have planned that specifically for you to realize one of those morals that will apparently change your life.

Self Investigation is not supported – knowing yourself is only ‘god’s task’ as he/she/it knows why things are placed on your way. It is taught that stuff ‘happens to you’ yet you  are apparently not the creator of them all, but only the victim that can then ask for forgiveness and keep going to church to renew their desire to ‘get to god’ and be eternally happy.

Self correction is certainly NOT promoted as that would imply that you could become a common sensical living being that would not require to go and self-flagellate each sunday, asking for forgiveness and paying money for your sins. You would eventually realize that all that you require is correcting your patterns and habits to start acting in ways that will  support you and others equally which would demerge your relationship with ‘god’ as a necessity in your life to act in ways that are best for all = you become your own god.

Self Realization is NOT supported as you’d see that if Oneness and Equality are the principles of this world,  you are then one and equal as any idea/concept of ‘God’ and as such, you see yourself as the responsible one for all that is here – the marvelous and the fuckups. Now the act must be cleaned up to create a tabula rasa for kids to step into a world where all past can be only remembered as a hell of a nightmare to never repeat it again. At last a god-police free land forevermore.

This can only be done through the Equal Money System where all religions are given and end as we simply realize: we can give it all to ourselves in Equality.

weakness


Euthanasia: Evacuate the body that suffers

 

Testing through words to write about – it became obvious that the points related to death, pain, suffering had to come through after realizing the death of a beloved being, yes everyone that had been at the farm enjoyed her.

I can only speak from the innumerable amounts of times that we played ball, the many times she’d come to my desk and place the gooey ball on my leg to throw it to her – it was never too far or too high for her to catch it, it never was too late at night or too early to do the same over and over again . All I’ve got is cool memories from that, but I also saw her suffering from the time she got her surgery and how she was really down and in pain – we’d take turns to baby sit her through the day – I remember not being able to cope very well with seeing her that way because she’d always be the ever-panting type of dog that’s never too tired to play ball…

 

So, a decision had to be made today, to put her to sleep because she’d had to basically go through the same process again which could eventually become a pattern – she had a process of her own definitely and some videos are still up about it if anyone wants to review them I’ll leave the links at the end.

 

Though this point opened up the Euthanasia which is something that I fully support and I told L how it is weird that we accept to do this to an animal but not to a human being – why not? because there’s a mental attachment from human beings to other human beings? I’d say the same goes towards an animal – anyways to me that type of differences make no sense in this world and preserving a human being alive just for the sake of keeping the family or the people close to the one that’s suffering ‘happy’ is sheer egoism, sheer selfishness wherein the actual experience of the human being is not being considered at all.

 

I cannot see why there are laws that cannot actually allow the person itself to decide to die, to have an ‘assisted suicide’ for the sake of ending the suffering from a terminal disease – we’ve become so infatuated with life preservation – or should I write “life” because we know we’re not yet actually living-  and within that, pondering our ‘thoughts’ and feelings/emotions and whatnot over the actual physical experience that another goes when getting to a point wherein life in the physical becomes too much to handle, becomes a drag in itself – that’s not living and all people should be able to decide when to have a dignified end to themselves in such conditions – for clarity and third eye parties: this is NOT supporting suicide, once again: this is only in cases of people going through terminal diseases and any other physical impediment that tampers the ability to live and have proper physical functioning in this world as a decision taken by themselves after having had proper psychological and medical assistance to evaluate the case – yet not forcing the point of them staying alive if it’s virtually impossible to stop a degenerative process in the body –

 

From when I was a young girl I remember my grandmother was sick and remained with various illnesses through her entire life. I had quite a relationship with her, I liked teasing her because I saw her as easy-to-be-picked-on yet it wasn’t with malice, it’ was more like a way to make her laugh and stand outside of her own pains and self-created turmoil she lived in.

I remember organizing all her meds that were lying inside a box, out of their respective boxes and so when I showed her what I had done with them and expected a ‘thank you’ she proceeded to shuffle them all again, seemed she liked her stuff all messy anyways – I don’t know why I got that memory so embedded. Anyways she’s dead, she died like 2 years ago while I wasn’t in Mexico, seems my family cared-a-lot that I wasn’t here and that I didn’t say anything about it when I was back, nor have I gone to the cemetery or anything, not interested either.

My mother probably still sees this as ‘rude’ as she sent me a message to remind me of the day that she died this year – I simply replied ‘ok’ because I have nothing else to say about it – I didn’t grieve over her dead even though this is the closes ‘death’ I’ve had in my life – though I was never really close with her either – anyways, I was actually glad that she died because she ended her life-long suffering from various diseases – yet when saying this to my family, they reacted momentarily to my words but eventually saw how it was true.

When I explained to them how people grieve over their own death and how they aren’t actually considering what the person goes through when people are wanting the person to remain alive, they understood how it’s actually selfish to preserve someone alive for the sake of the people around them.

 

Unacceptable-  yet morality fucks the points up, all religious babble that condemn these acts as well, all that which stands as a posture that isn’t considering the physical actual reality at all.

 

Lately I’ve had several people commenting on my video entitled ‘Is there Life after Death?’ in spanish – fascinating how it has pushed several buttons because everyone wants to believe there’s a heaven you go to – I only could ‘hope’ there’s a heaven for animals because they’ve been the real deal here in this world – and they are the ones that we’ve put on major suffering through our domination process on Earth – unacceptable. Though obviously not really ‘hoping’ for them to exist after death, is just one of those thoughts that I’d like to resort to in cases wherein we see animals suffer and die – I breathe and let go of it all as nothing that can die can be actually real – that’s the key here.

 

And so – we look at how evacuation comes after the word euthanasia – evacuating the body that requires to be put to rest to go back to the earth, evacuate it from the consciousness that suffers, that thinks and feels – seems to be the most eloquent and reasonable thing to do yet, we’ve got many perspectives in this world still fighting against this right.

 

I take some of the points that Bella once discussed in a pair of videos wherein people would focus too much on Euthanasia or assisted death and would create such grand debates instead of actually making sure that the same emphasis is placed on actually Assisting Life – so it’s a matter of considering Life as the cycle that must be taken into consideration from beginning to end in equal-consideration – no point must be ‘more important’ or feared or relevant – instead simply considering what’s best for the being and their experience throughout their life and support everyone the best possible way.

So yes, when Life becomes the highest value, death as an end to this life must be taken with the same care till the last moment and won’t be influenced by any type of morals or money or any other ideology that is currently deciding for being, but instead accept Death as part of the cycle that we’re in here for.

I have experienced these taboos at home and I’ve brought the points up until it becomes more ‘comfortable’ to talk about it- yet fascinating that people go into this tension to simply not have to speak about it.

Probably facing the ‘fear of death’ has come to me only through dreams. I had a very specific one wherein I gave my last breath when realizing I was  going down a cliff inside a car that had simply missed the road and that was it – I’ve also faced fear of death in some real life minor events mostly involving car accidents, one where I could’ve fried to death and that I actually shared in a blog because it was in a fucking instant that I could’ve been dead in the middle of the night – fascinating how we’re so vulnerable to dying and that’s how we simply say: live every day as if it’s the last day of your life – that means: do not fear death, it’s useless to live to die and to see death as something that is not to be spoken about, or must be ‘avoided’ at all cost.

Removing the ‘fear’ and confronting it for what it is has allowed me to be more stable here in my reality – in moments of apparent death in dreams I’ve been mostly allowing it to come as in realizing: okay this is my last breath and I go – only once did I freak out while dying in a fire… so yes, I’ve forgiven myself for that and that’s it.

I am here and I live – I walk and I don’t fear dying – that’s what my conscious mind wants to say though there’s obvious points that I haven’t faced as an actual death so, it’s one of those points wherein I simply know that I won’t be thinking about ‘going to heaven’ or ‘going to hell’ and instead welcome the death when it comes and in any form it comes as I’ll know that it’s not something ‘bad’ to happen to me, but a single basic outcome that’s inevitable the moment you’re born into this world. As simple as that.

 

So conclusion of this all:

Dignified Life = Dignified Death for ALL in Equality 

This way we don’t make death any more or less than what it is, we accept it and simply allow ourselves to let go of those that depart as it’s only part of life to accept and see death as part of this cycles we’re living as.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

The Beginning – Timeless


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