Tag Archives: angst

184:Angstxiety

Physical Dimension: Reactions to the negative thought of having to complete a task/ activity

Within the entire series of the procrastination character that began on day 162. Either Do it or DIE I’ve walked the fear, thought, imagination – then even a fantasy came out – backchat and the reactions toward all of these points in both a negative and a positive manner.

The title of this blog comes from the realization that angst means fear in Dutch and anxiety is what we experience as the physical experience of such fears which sounds then similar as one leading to the other, while in English, angst means ‘anxiety about the state of the world’ which is how I can identify I have become the anxious person for the most part while growing up, which I have been working on as well in the death and destruction blogs going into both anxiety and dread about it.

 

Within the physical dimension is to then see how it is that all of these dimensions end up manifesting as a physical possession – how? Well, the moment that we give into the thought and make it a physical habit within it, we are essentially confirming that yes, the thoughts, backchat, reactions, fears are in fact ‘who we are’ and that all of such mind-experiences are ‘true enough’ for us to then live them out in the physical. Hence it’s this physical dimension the one that certainly exists as a consequential outflow of all the previous accepted and allowed mind experiences as real, it is the ‘physical possessed time’ wherein we have already abdicated the directive principle of ourselves and we essentially become the embodiment of our own mind control – sounds familiar? Yes, essentially every moment that we are not here breathing and being aware of ourselves as the physical and ‘lose track’ of what we are in fact doing in that moment – because of only existing in a constant myriad of thoughts, pictures, backchats/ internal conversations – wherein we are then only feeding the experience further and further while missing out the entire point of this experience which is nothing else and nothing more but a self created dis-ease through thinking and having a positive or negative experience about something/ someone in our world and reality.

 

Within the procrastination character, I realize that the moment that I am about to get onto doing something/ directing myself to complete a task, there’s a pinch of anxiety that emerges, that has been ‘slowed down’ so to speak from the time when I was a younger girl and going through school and having all the basic nervousness symptoms of having gastritis, multiple headaches whenever an exam or a ‘something to do’ would emerge that I would consider was ‘ahead of me’ and being overtly apprehensive, always worrying about the outcome of my exams, worrying if I’d get the highest grade – even if I pretended that I didn’t care – always wanting to get to places on time and essentially being in constant fear of ‘not meeting my goals’ which I later on suppressed as I went growing up with an opposite character. Within this I must say that my mother’s words were supportive since she always made me see how futile it was to be seeking to be perfect and strain my physical body for it, plus hearing words that would allow me to see that I didn’t require to worry about it since I had an ability to walk through school without a problem – however, the origin of the anxiety was never seen or realized in fact. So, I will dedicate myself to tap more into the anxiety experience, which has diminished considerably in the past years since I began my process of self forgiveness and self honesty, however, it still comes out which indicates that there are points that I must obviously still work through it and the realization is that such anxiety has been present lately due to and directly linked to the procrastination character, wherein the moment that we create our own ‘procrastination hell’ we become the embodiment of such ‘unsorted load’ and generate an overall relationship of self-abuse which is pretty much experienced at a physical level.

I had that yesterday in three different moments and all related to being asked the question of when the hell am I going to finish school – well actually could be four, lol since I had several chats with different people and realized that I am the only one that is procrastinating this.

So as I write this, there’s a flow of heaviness as energy that is experienced in my arms and in the pit of my stomach, which is where we could say the solar plexus actually is.

So far the only way that I have been able to slow down in physical reality in terms of walking slower, not rushing to get to a place (unless strictly necessary, lol) and going ‘ahead of time’ in my mind when for example, meeting someone, going to a certain place where I will have to face people, even making phone calls would be a reason for me to get anxious, like wanting to ‘get over with it’ – which is a key point here ‘getting over with it’ as this point that must be simply ‘rushed’ and ‘finished’ in order to ‘get to the next point’ – I mean, that’s not living, that’s just being like a Ford-T line producer that’s simply tied and bound to a single task-doing reality where no actual Living takes place. Unfortunately yes, this is the reality for the majority of everyone in this world because every moment that we reduce life to a sequence of ‘tasks to be done’ we are certainly limiting ourselves extensively within our capacity to see life not as a birth-consume-reproduce-produce-consume-die type of cycle with all the highs and lows in between – there is definitely another way of going through life even if it’s filled with ‘stuff to do,’ as I have realized that the moment we measure our days based on ‘stuff to do’ we miss out the point of how each activity is an opportunity to expand ourselves. And where does anxiety fit into all of this? Nowhere, it is a self-created TIME-triggered fuckup. I actually see how I have used Time as an excuse obviously, but also as a constant ‘counting’ of my day wherein instead of being here. I mean, even the sole ‘measuring’ of the day implies that I define myself according to what I did and what I did not do, which is just creating another aspect to give myself credit/ discredit for as an ego. No, I can instead decide to live in a way that is fully functional in every moment, and this implies not being subject to the reactions experienced Over going into an alternate reality of thinking, judging, backchatting, imagining, reacting over it etc.

I realize that I have separated myself from the actual ‘art of living’ which should be related to self mastery that I had on purpose seen as something ‘ahead’ of myself, impossible, ‘not now’ type of thing, without realizing that within this, I was kind of then sort of Still expecting me to do some ‘regular fuckups’ to demonstrate that ‘I am still mortal’ instead of actually taking a decision to not continue to allow any belittling within myself and others – as belittling was definitely one of the first points I worked with in my process which has been so far, cool – however, the anxiety point demonstrates that there is still this ‘uncertainty’ within me, and yes, directly related to this ‘something that I have to do’ and ‘complete’ as an ‘achievement’ that I am separating myself from.

 

So the physical dimension of this entire outflow of procrastination has to do with the various symptoms that one would experience as ‘anxiety’ among other physical habits like standing up and just moving away from the computer when the time comes to complete a task, or direct myself to get some water/ peanuts or raisins – or going out, which is what I have walked already in previous blogs, or simply doing something else.

As I was reading Heaven’s Journey To Life yesterday, I realized that I have in fact activated the ‘I don’t care’ character as a defense mechanism to keep myself in ‘good stand’ in my mind for not doing the task I know  I have to complete. This character would come as a temporary ‘shut up’ to the anxiety experienced at a physical level. Oh man, how far have I gone to cover up fuckup after fuckup of simply procrastinating a single task? Is it necessary? Obviously NOT! However, it seems as if I deliberately placed myself in this situation to walk through it, which is plain absurd but it ‘makes sense’ from the perspective that I have simply made an accumulation of decisions that were linked to the ‘positive experiences’ that I would use as an excuse to not get to this task.

A side note for me as well is how horrible it is to experience ‘excitement’ or some energetic experience that one would consider as a general ‘positive experience.’ I became excited about – oh god here I go – one of my so-called ‘favorite bands’ releasing a new album after a long time and so I went into this excitement that became a Really uncomfortable experience after a while, to the extent that I experience like a hangover of it due to the expectation – which creates anxiety – and the activation of all the emotions and feelings linked to this music – yes both emotions and feelings since it’s the type of ‘drug’ as an experience that I would be the most addicted to, this type of sublime experiences wherein you are rather overwhelmed by the sounds that terrifies us in a way and at the same time becomes a nice experience. And that, my fellow droogies I will walk separately and later on post as I will continue walking the procrastination character, but I see how the entire experiences linked to music must also be debunked, because it is ‘hard’ for anything or anyone else to create an experience of this kind within me, it’s mostly linked to music and the load I have imprinted on memories to it.

 

And This, I realized I have been a ‘frequent participant’ of based on what I got to understand in the Quantum Mind Self Awareness 18 that I highly recommend to anyone pondering about the ‘negative’ and being having mostly a ‘high’ from all things negative. That’s the shortest way I can describe it, get it  and then you’ll understand what I’m talking about.

 

So, let’s breathe and I’ll begin walking the Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective statements on the following blogs. Thanks for reading

 

 

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94. In-Sin–Irate: Anger Issues

Have we stopped ourselves to consider in what way we gnaw and eat up our very physical body the moment that we participate in anger or any other emotion/ feeling experience? If we were really aware of ourselves as our human physical body, we would be aware of how the very thoughts we have consume our physicality in order to create such emotion or feeling in any given moment – we never dare to question how such ENERGETIC experiences are created, while even the name is indicating obviously: something must be consumed in order to fuel such experiences. Yet, we never looked into ourselves and only decided to accept and allowed energetic experiences as ‘who we are’ – because: ‘oh I am this that I experience in my body, I must act on it’ – and never ever questioning or even being able to fully see and realize what we are participating in the moment that we react in one single split of a second toward another in an emotion or feeling. One single shift from being here as breath and we can know: we’re mind possessed.

 

Anger

incinerate
n verb destroy (something, especially waste material) by burning

Yesterday I went out for my walk earlier than usual due to the storms that have been going on here. When I was already on my way back, I first saw this young male walking with a seemingly desperate and rather ‘uncontrollable’ dog – and I saw he had a wooden stick with him – a thick branch to be precise – and I immediately reacted to that within the realization that he would hit the dog with it, but I could not pull out the usual burning anger that I would experience before, it was just like paralyzing inside myself  in the moment and I simply started following them based on thoughts like ‘this is unacceptable/ I must do something about this/ what can I possibly do?’ I walked a bit quicker in order to be right behind him, then I saw that other three males – same age – were handling one dog each with the same behavioral characteristics: angry dogs barking at all dogs in the neighborhood, being seemingly uncontrollable – each one of the males had a similar thick branch on the other hand – I could not compute in that moment because I was only ‘making up my mind’ trying to figure out why the first dog I had seen seemed so uncontrollable and angry, having to be hit that way to behave.

 

I started deliberately walking right behind the four of them, I went into a point of possession wherein I wanted to pull out the anger that would usually drive me in the past to go and shout or even wanting to hit them – but I couldn’t. I ‘felt powerless’ but not in an emotional way, like actually having no ability to ‘pull out the anger’ I was used to experiencing in such moments/ events. I realized that it was not appropriate to go and shout at them because they were 4 males, with 4 angry dogs, with 4 thick branches and I was alone.

 

In a way within my mind, yet it didn’t even seem like thinking, I wanted to curse them to death – and I couldn’t. I could not even pull out some hatred. It was fascinating to see this unfolding, like slow camera movement where Marlen would want to just beat them to death in my mind with words or even pictures, and I couldn’t. Anyways, so as I approached them through walking behind them, I could just utter the following words in the moment – ‘Is this why you have your dog for? To hit him?’ – And obviously the young man didn’t bother at all, I was not grasping the whole picture in that moment  – and as I walked right behind the four of them I approached the second one and told him ‘Is this what you have your dog for? TO hit him? – and I managed to pull out some other words – ‘Would you want to be hit the same way you do onto him?’ and he just didn’t reply, he only made a gesture of ‘I couldn’t care less/ maybe I’d like to’ – So, there was no answer obviously. I realized it was pointless to continue doing anything about it.

 

Then I realized what they actually were as the whole picture: people that train dogs for dog fights – hence the attitude of the dogs and the males with the wooden sticks with them. It is their “job.”

 

The point here is that I wanted to be as angry as I could, I was wanting to just burst out in absolute anger toward them in that moment, and I couldn’t – and this strangely so felt like I was powerless = not moving by energy inside – however it was more of a concrete experience inside me that I could not even direct some ‘angry thoughts’ toward them.  I followed them until the corner where they went straight ahead, and I just stood there on the corner watching them and all I could think of is breathe – breathe – breathe – breathe – and so I did. After a couple of minutes of just deliberately standing there to see where they would go up to, I realized that there was no point in continuing that, so I turned to the right and followed my way back home.

 

In the past – and I’m talking about 4 years ago when I started becoming aware of the abuse in this world – I witnessed similar events and I remember becoming like a tornado inside me, filled with rage that I used as a fuel to approach the man that was dragging the dog on the street – I told this story in a video minute 3:49 – and I would react in boiling anger, ready to just torture another with my anger there, ready to shout and scream – and this time, I could not do that, even though a part of me wanted to. Another point is that I kept myself  grounded wherein, even in the moment that I approached the two males that I managed to talk to them,  I was just like a rock not really speaking in an  irate manner, even though I wanted to.

 

This is to reveal how out of habit, I would have wanted to make an entire drama out of the situation, shouting or getting myself ‘into trouble’ just for the sake of ‘making them see’ – but as I saw their reactions when I asked them the questions, I knew that I had to stop and not go any further.

 

So, the word that came up is ‘incinerate’ which sounds like in-sin-irate and how I had a moment there wherein I actually ‘wanted’ to be angry, me as the mind wanted to just bring up anger and lash out onto them and I couldn’t. Which is irrational because I knew beforehand ‘not to react’ but again looking at the event happening in front of me is more of a trigger point to face self-honesty to.

 

I was talking about this type of situations two days ago, and I myself had suggested not to intervene in such moments of witnessing abuse onto others – children, animals – as we do not know how they would react – and I was seeing with my eyes how it was 4 males, 4 dogs, wooden sticks – I really went too far to even approach them. So, to explain the point: ‘I ‘felt’ like I had to go and speak up to them however I felt like in an entire possession in that moment when I drove myself to speak to them. It was not directed by some churning inside me as in the past, but I did speak up to them.

 

I have explained before how I would deal with extensive anger toward everything and everyone – and I’ve certainly ‘slowed down’ in that, to the point wherein I cannot describe if what I did experience yesterday was anger, because I didn’t ‘feel it’ as the usual energetic experience – however, the realization here is:

 

– I cannot place myself in such situations of absolute risk just to let people know what they already know they are doing in the moment – even more so when seeing the whole picture and the reason behind such actions: dog fights = money/ business/ males getting paid to take care of the dogs = they won’t stop doing it as it is their job

 

– My reaction was based on thinking – meaning that I assessed the situation according to what I thought was ‘right’ to do in the moment, even if I was expecting myself to suddenly get absolutely and extremely angry, I couldn’t – which was a point of being grounded to realize that I could not possibly take the point further than approaching them with simple questions.

 

– I also directed myself to realize in that moment that If I witnessed the entire abuse that goes on in the world, I would have incinerated myself due to/ because of reacting to it all – we cannot possibly ‘make a change’ to a chain of events and situations wherein money is being the driving point, wherein the consideration of animals as ‘less than humans’ is a culturally ingrained fuckup for ages in humanity – I cannot stop what is currently being experienced by billions – I can only stop myself.

 

– I realize that in situations like that on the street, I had reacted in extreme anger wherein the usual desire is to just shout and flip the finger to them, as if that could ‘offend them’ or take them to a realization, without seeing that their actions are in essence already proof of what they are willing to do because of money, and how I have no context in any way whatsoever within the entire situation – but only wanting to react based on the obvious point of abuse, which is a constant point in our entire reality. Thus I see that I partake obviously in such point of abuse by simply accepting and allowing myself to exist within the current world that we are in the way it is, and not doing a thing about it – until now that we are beginning to STOP ourselves from being the very perpetuators of the same fighting/ battling eternal separation system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become.

 

– I realize that I cannot expose myself that way, meaning – I walk alone, I am alone and I cannot possibly confront others that are clearly more, with ‘tools’ that could be harmful as well as the dogs themselves that seemed angry as hell. This is what we have become, using dogs to fight to satisfy some human being’s desire to see dogs attacking each other to fuel some mind mechanism that is pleasured when seeing wrestling, fighting – thus who I am within it all? Seeing where and how I am fighting myself, or wanting to fight others in the name of ‘doing something right,’ without taking into consideration the actual chain of events and consequences that could ensue from this point of ‘following my mind’ in such moments.

 

– I also realized that I had been blind when I watched the movie ‘Amores Perros’ which depicts that dog-fight business here in Mexico City, I somehow managed to just ‘numb it out’ as part of some ‘movie’ as if it was not real or in some alternate reality. I see how I would see movies without taking into consideration that such events DO take place, do happen and are as real as seeing those dogs ‘going out for a walk’ and having to be hit in order to behave, due to how they have been trained by the sick twisted human mind that solaces is seeing fights and dare to even gamble upon winners. This I fuel and exist as every time I seek to win and ‘win’ something, get a positive kick out of anything that I can witness and consequently experience as an energetic movement within me.

 

Fighting

I fought myself in that moment: from wanting to react and another ‘part’ of me – the real me – remaining just like a rock, I experienced like this cement inside me where I could not even think – it’s like when you are in the bottom of a pool and  you know that you could drown yet, you cannot possibly just move up to reach for air. I am describing what I experienced in that moment which I have also experienced as a child in terms of realizing I am drowning but not being able to move – so, the experience was not the usual ‘angry mode’ but instead it maybe was petrification – yet at the same time it didn’t feel like anything.

I also realize that if I had gone out at the same time I usually do, I would not have witnessed that, which means that it doesn’t matter if I’m present or not: those dogs exist, people that train them to fight exist, they will continue whether I witness that or not – I realize that any reaction is in fact stemming from my inherent desire – that certainly has mellowed down – to point out the abuse to others, instead of even realizing how the abuse is first onto me because of having the actual desire to be angry, to ‘burst up in flames’ – which is how I see that the word incinerate makes sense: I had not ever considered the ‘who I am’ in anger, and I had never considered the detrimental effects of such energetic experience of anger on my body.

 

I have written about the memory of me as a child becoming extremely angry, to the point where I feel my entire body just having like a ‘chill’ from how much I would put myself in such anger trance, and that’s when my parents would offend me ‘You are fucking crazy!’ and just leaving me in the room,  fueling that anger even more because of them judging to what extent I would lead a single point of anger into an actual anger possession. Hearing them cursing at me for fueling my anger made me even more angry.

 

And I remember the stories my mother would say about my father, picking up fights with people just because of going past a red light or something – he used to carry these sticks on the car ‘just in case’ something would happen – I took it as normal, and they always wanted me to carry some thick cable that I could hit someone with in case they wanted to do something onto me. I always refused.

 

 

Stepping out of the anger possession

Whenever I would go out of the possession when I was a child, after spending  a long time crying and fueling that experience of anger wherein the totality of my body would go into a paralysis almost, even just now as I write it I can experience the same thing, the tickling as pins and needles on my left arm. Even as  a child, I would fear dying in such moments – my mother would say to me that my entire face could be paralyzed if I continued boiling up with such anger – and so I would fear dying, I would fear ending up with a ‘dry half face’ because of anger – and that’s when I would slow down and just cry not even because of whatever reason I have had to get angry in the first place, but because of becoming aware of how my body had suffered in that moment of anger possession. I would brace myself and feel sad/ sorry and even worse for what I had put myself through.

 

It was just like vomiting. When I was a child and I was sick and had to puke, I would keep my eyes open and cry throughout the whole thing – I would then notice that the pores of my cheeks had burst, I would feel so bad for having damaged my body that way that I always feared having to puke again. One of the reasons why I stopped drinking was when puking was ‘the way to stop the drunkenness’ and me becoming absolutely disgusted of myself for having to do that. The ‘peak point’ was when I had to puke and I cannot even remember where I did it/ or don’t want to remember. I stopped, I could not take myself any further than that – besides waking up with bumps on my head and other undisclosed bruises.

 

Self abuse – no different to becoming angry – same experience, same pain felt after the energetic possession: the body took it all and, have I ever asked forgiveness for my body for such things? No.

 

I one way I am ‘glad’ I was able to stop myself most of the times before going into absolute rage, however seeing this potential in me – which is linked to thoughts related to killing/ hitting/ deliberately harming others that I see are ‘abusing’ was never realized as me following the threat of abuse even in my own mind. I guess that’s why and how I would ‘resonate’ with a clockwork orange in a way, and the entire experience that I had yesterday I later on assessed as the similar experience that Alex had when he cold no longer be violent against others – he would get sick, I just got absolutely ‘blank’ with no ability to do anything else than that.

 

I had taken for granted these surges of anger as a child, I remember them very well yet when I was pointed out that I had a lot of anger I went into a ‘what? no way!’ denial state, without daring to look inside myself and find the real evil justified by ‘seeing evil’ in others’ which became – as I have mentioned before as well – a thinking pattern of ‘humanity is evil’ and as such, shaping, molding my entire beingness to be in a ‘military’ way, like a soldier that is ready to combat any point of attack. And this is precisely being explained in Heaven’s Journey to Life blog, specifically the link I’ll leave below, and so I have just written out the whole point with several links to the past  up until the experience at the moment.

 

One single event can become the mirror we have not dared to look ourselves into, because we knew before hand we do not want to see what is reflected on it, yet it is ourselves.

 

The physical consequences after this was pain on my left foot  because of how I had a struggle with ‘my expression’ and the physical point of it in the moment – my mind wanting to go bezerk and the other me here stability pulling myself like cement on the ground. The trick is to keep breathing at all times. Looking back at the entire situation, It was ‘cool’ to face the point from the perspective of being able to face such ingrained inner-experiences with regards to anger. However, it is plain obvious that the cause of the anger won’t be solved in one go: Animals being abused by humans is the most despicable thing that we can do along any other moment wherein we abuse ourselves in the name of reacting to such abuse as well.

 

I will continue tomorrow with the Self Forgiveness points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry, petrified at the abuse of this world without realizing that participating in anger only supports my own gnawing as physical flesh and that in no way does it support LIFE

 

“Animals are driven to extinction as they DO NOT feature in the Consciousness of Humans as Equals as Life-Forms”  – Bernard Poolman *

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The world just had a ‘tough day’

It is through wake-up calls that humanity will start seeing more and more that we are driving this world into insanity.
Coming home watching the news with a ‘financial meltdown’, London in flames and 29 000 kids under 5 years old dead in Somalia over 3 months of starvation with other 3.5 million severely requiring immediate aid makes you ponder how far do we have to go to see what we’re doing to ourselves in this world.

Within this, I’ve encountered ‘mixed perspectives’ so to speak wherein some are still taking a side on the entire problem instead of realizing that it is all our creation – equally – We’ve been the creators of the current system wherein we’ve allowed royals to exist while millions starve in a country where no one can even ‘help’ because of further jihads taking place in the area.

Though this and what is to come, we cannot allow ourselves to be appalled, that can only add on to the hysteria that’s being promoted while it’s only about seeing what’s going on in the world as a result of our negligence to all life.

I made this etching this some 3 years ago – it was part of realizing that we’ve cut our own hand while creating this reality, it’s the realization that we have actually failed to see this world as ourselves, and from there my stand can only be the realization that it is me that must stand up even if the world is upside down, through that constant support that I can give myself to not allow myself to ‘fall’ into a certain state due to how I see the world I am able to then embrace this world as myself and walk the necessary steps to continue living for life – to continue walking this process until it’s done.

It’s quite obvious that the events that are to come into this world won’t be ‘brighter’ tomorrow – we’ll be facing the truth and reality of ourselves full on and within all of this, within you sitting in front of your tv or computer, I can only say: watch the news, get informed in relation to what’s going on in this world, but let’s not get ourselves down or appalled by what we see – we rather see it as a manifested consequence of our disregard to life, of the failure that we’ve created as humanity to guard Life and instead guarded money with our lives – failing to see that our duty to be a custodian to life has been diverted towards an outcome that can have only result in an imperative desire to be the ‘kings of the world’ at all cost – that cost is here, is higher than ever and what we are realizing is nothing nice, nothing pretty of ourselves – this is our actual revelation.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect life in all moments wherein I kept accepting a system wherein we simply continued participating in our worlds without having ever asked pertinent questions in relation to our existence, to our ability to create a system that could work for all

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept social inequality as the result of my own desire to avoid self-responsibility wherein the existence of slaves and economically marginalized people signified a convenience for me to not have to ‘do the job’ but rather have the ‘power’  as money to have others doing the stuff for me, having others taking self responsibility for myself

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to be appalled by the news today calling it a ‘tough day for Earth’ without realizing that this is just information that we are getting to know of because it’s got major impact on financial markets- YET the abuse, the starvation, the corruption that’s existent everywhere in this world doesn’t get such promotion because it prevents people from ‘being happy’ and consuming more to fool-fill themselves.

I can see that I have accepted and allowed this all the way hence me being affected by it is in fact resorting once again as a victim to this world and system without realizing I am this world, I am this system and I can’t possibly continue this way.

I realize that I am the only one that is able to support myself and within this, support others equally to walk this no matter what, not allowing us to react and participate in massive-hysterias and massive-fears which can only be but another way to drive humanity easy to self-doom.

We stop and we simply expose the reality for what it is, always pointing out that it’s about the entire contract that we’ve created as humanity while disregarding our ability to create a system that could be best for all. I allow myself to liv e in Equality to no longer be another ‘affected person’ but be a self-directive person that exposes, that shares perspectives in order to continue supporting ourselves, to lose all faith and believes of a ‘better world’ and instead dare to care and live myself through writing, through reflecting my experience and correct it in my reality.

I no longer allow myself to be appalled by the events of this world wherein I speak from a point of knowledge based on what’s being promoted in the news and instead, continue to breathe and walk and direct myself to a single outcome which is Equality as Life as myself, realizing and applying it and living it every moment that I’m here – from there, I can only see that the ‘tough days’ can be walked and breathed through, learning what we’ve done and why we have created this world as it currently is. Taking Self Responsibility for ourselves as individuals within the context of this world is key point here

Thank you – see you at Desteni.

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