Tag Archives: animals

Transcending Fear of Animals at the Farm

I read Cenk’s blog on ‘Fear of Animals’ and it caught my attention as I faced the same point – and proabably still will have to face at a later stage – with regards to animals as I realized how I had acquired such fears towards animals due to judgments passed on by my parents, specifically my mother – my father with regards to them being not clean/smelling bad/disastrous and my mother just because she probably had some bad experiences with dogs and other animals as a kid, being chased and so forth so then she would be frightened by animals and she passed on those fears on to us which I then obviously accepted as myself and lived with the idea that I didn’t like animals that much, I wasn’t really attracted to them and I would mostly only get bits of that when visiting my cousins (all three of them are biologists) and having to watch animal planet – though I still disregarded, saw them as yes ‘awesome creatures’ but just by knowledge and information, not really ever getting to live with one. That changed when we finally were able to get dogs once again – I did have one that I adored a mini toy at age 3 though he was a disaster and my parents ended up sending him away – and from there it was only around 2004 around there that my sister’s bf got her a dog and she’s still alive Moka– and then Shakti who arrived few months before I got into process around october 2007 lol I was still into researching hinduism at that time hence the name – lolol – and so dogs became ‘ok’ and acceptable in my house, my parents now take care of Shakti as their daughter so that’s awesome really, it’s been a great support with them after having an empty nest all of a sudden.

Then going to the farm was obviously the ‘test’ towards such fears towards animals – dogs are ok definitely mostly all my life they’ve been ‘my favorite animal’ lol because it was the only one I had been in contact with – and then first fear/resistance transcended was towards cats because I thought myself to dislike them, obviously never having been with a cat before in such close contact – I slept in the ‘cat lounge’ as it was called back then lol so, I would be having several cats sleeping around to which I became used to quite fast enough as I realized my fears weren’t actually real but passed-on fears of my mother which I then took as ‘myself, my preference’. Bs! lol – then I became very fond of the cats and till this day just pictures remain as I don’t have any cats around here and I literally got to know few of the now ‘older cats’, to see how each one have their own ways and habits and likes and dislikes – fascinating and I enjoyed that tremendously really, I couldn’t believe myself when I ended up having boxes around my room just to have cats hang around in the room throughout the day and night – awesome and also cool how cats would go on to everyone’s room, supporting everyone to have that constant company, really fascinating beings the same as dogs

Then Horses were a different story as I had a huge resistance to work with them and it was the point where I revealed myself that I wasn’t standing one and equal to them and that I was refusing to support them due to Fear indeed, I feared the horses and thus within my mind I created all types of excuses of why I wasn’t ‘capable’ of taking care of a horse – I have to say that if there’s something that it has actually taken me great effort is to get to get rid of such fear – and I actually did experience constant threats of for example having the horse trying to bite me in the beginning which would obviously ignite my fears and wanting to give up taking care of the horse – so it was one of the points where I was literally pushed to ‘snap out of it’ by Bernard in such a way that I’ll never forget, that entire mind possession that I had was quite extensive which I had to direct and thus live my self forgiveness, literally, no magic wand, directing myself, walking through the huge resistance I had built until it vanished and I was simply ‘doing the work’ that was required and it was only after a long time that I started kind of enjoying taking care of them – it was until I got to Polo – Andrea’s horse – that I got quite comfortable with him and my ‘highlight’ was being able to run along with him for a bit when taking him back to the stables lol that was so liberating, having fears of ‘oh you may stumble and fall’ just removed and being free in that moment – thus I realized how I had actually had to walk the entire correction, the entire manifested consequence in several ways of my initial fear towards horses, my resistance to support the horses which then became another ‘standing up for life’ point in supporting the horse one and equal.

Within that there was definitely many fears confronted like fears of snakes which then I saw one of them getting into our room which stood there for several hours until mr. animal-friendly Gian was able to take it out and so I was relieved but manifested my fear towards snakes appearing and having that one guest in the room pfff that was not cool at all – and thus why I said in the beginning that I’ll probably have to face more points also when talking to Leila today about Anu and Enki – lol the lizards – and how I’d have to face my fear towards them. So I read Cenk’s vlog and thought this as myself as well and how I can’t imagine living in the same room with such beings so – and other animals such as getting comfortable with rats for example – spiders were also like beings that I kind of feared and thus also transcended point at the farm when living with one on top of my bed literally on top of my face for long time.

The point to face was the Horse, such magnificent animals that I went from fear to actual recognition of who they are as equals as myself yet really amazing for what they are and what they’ve endured within their lives and design.

I must say I do miss the cats lol I had a more direct contact with them for longer time than dogs with whom I would usually just hang out for a while or throwing the eternal ball to timeless – 

The DesteniFarm is definitely the place to be to face the relationships we’ve created towards all beings, all nature, to test ourselves in our standing in every single form, every single way, it’s the most constant learning experience I’ve had in my entire life, actual living skills, actual living experiences to stop separation, to stop fears, to face my fears, to work through fears, to stand and then direct simply within common sense.

I am grateful for that experience which changed my life and everything I had been up to that point, every limitation I thought of myself was opened up for me to still walk through here as myself.

on other points today


I had quite a cool moment of realization after listening to the interview

Radical Relationships as Creative Force first of all I recommend anyone to listen to the interview because many small gaps that may exist within this process are clarified there – and so afterwards I noticed how that interview had definitely left this point of acquired-realization let’s call it that with regards to the Physical Process that we’re actually walking and how it is actually simplicity of getting ourselves back to ourselves – so I made a vlog on that.

For a moment I’ve realized many points specifically with regards to my family and how for a long time I actually separated-myself from them in my stance of ‘walking process’ when in fact today I realized that it is about seeing everyone as equal though it’s definitely not to separate ourselves from our family – probably someday we’ll have to face even our ‘friends’ and I realized how even after all if any person in my life suddenly would decide to talk and share I would be completely open to it as there is nothing I could hold as a grudge against anyone really – all that required to be sorted out I am sorting out within myself and as such I walk.

The essence of what I experienced today in terms of what I heard is gratefulness as I see myself and who I was and where I could probably be if I hadn’t stumbled upon Desteni and it would be completely irrelevant, stuck into a single point wanting to ‘change the world’ yet probably not being that change myself. Then I saw one of the first letters I sent to Desteni wherein I was rather desperate trying to figure out what Desteni was about, got cool support by Talamon and from there the rest is history – I’m biting my inferior lip which is something about receiving so- gratefulness is directed here as myself, not only towards ‘receiving from others’ but realizing that within receiving I am giving equally back and that’s the principle I stand for – and so from there till this point it’s been quite a ride lol that I’m certainly grateful for anyone that is standing Equally in this process – this is all I ever required to realize I am not alone in this, that I am not a crazy lunatic that wants to do something for this world – so yes, grateful for everyone equally.


This is ti, thanks for reading.


Children are Here as Life

I had a cool meeting with some family-friends from the states that arrived today and beyond talking to the mother and daughter, I enjoyed talking with the son of ‘the daughter’ who is a 7 year old boy that people simply deem as a ‘menace’ kid – I see whenever I am in ‘grown ups’ reunions like that, If I see kids, I’ll go and just hang around with them, I definitely enjoy kids whom I can speak to, specially around that age 7-10-12 – I did the same in that wedding in germany, lol trying to catch some stuff in german and then in english and even if the communication as such within words wasn’t coming completely ‘through’ I enjoyed being with them.

Anyways, so I simply went upstairs at my aunt’s house to see what the kids were doing, as usual – a tv was on disney channel, my cousin that is around 14 years old plugged to her ipod or whatever it was, lol – and the ‘son’, the 7 year old kid ‘K’ was watching tv along with my other two cousins, 6 and 12 years old – I grabbed a small guitar they were messing around with and started playing some notes, I noticed that K immediately stopped looking at the tv screen and started following the rythym with his hands on the armchair, and he was just immediately ‘tuned in’ to the rythym and so I increased the speed and he increased his ‘armchair drumming’ and I was simply playing the same notes over and over and he just was into it, lol – so cool until the ultimate rush of notes and finally stopping the sound – then I started talking to him, getting the usual ‘what are your hobbies’ or ‘what music do you like’ – lol and after getting thumbs down for people like justin bieber and lady gaga amongst others lolol, these kids – he started talking on how he’d found really disgusting how people would show themselves puking a lot of meals on tv so people would find that ‘funny’ –  he started communicating on similar points that he’d seen on tv shows how people do harm to themselves to entertain another and how people would find that funny – It was very interesting to see that he was able to eloquently express himself and stand within a complete basic common sense point in relation to ‘what is best for all’ within seeing this self-inflicted harm portrayed on shows as ‘entertainment’ or ‘funny’-things that people are supossed to laugh or like – he was dead serious he didn’t like that at all –  And so I simply started communicating, wow, it is the first time in a long time I am able to communicate this easily with someone – I would simply share the common sense perspective on things and he would share other experiences where he’d seen ‘people littering on the earth’, he even spoke on how people get paid to pick up other’s trash (meaning cleanign the streets from littering) and how people that litter on the streets only care about themselves – and don’t care about others –

He kept explaining how he’d seen some animal abuse images on a dog and how the person that inflicted harm on the dog should be punished to jail for ‘infinity’ because he harmed another being that is life – yes I have to say I thoughoughly enjoyed the views K had upon what he’d seen on tv, what he’d seen others do within his life – an example is seeing how one cheated to win a game and how that was Not Fair at all because they were already showing themselves as ‘wanting to win’ and thus the rest of the people playing the game had no-chance anymore to ‘win’ because, he had already cheated to win for himself, because he only cared about himself!

I mean, really cool just look at all the concepts that he pointed out in common sense in a less than half an hour intense exchange of views where we could Easily agree upon what’s best for all! I also saw how by exprsesing myself with him with basic common sense, he was able to immediately grasp it – the moment I mentioned ‘that’s why we are supporting an Equal Money System’ so that everyone can have a fair life to live here on Earth – he immediately agreed that it was ‘fair’ because we all live here on Earth – lol I even played with ‘Earth’ and ‘BEarth’ to see how life is born in the physical, earth! I wanted to sing ‘A cup is just a cup’ – lol I could only get the first lines ‘A cup is just a cup, it’s made from the Earth’ – lol this actually I just began singing to him after meeting him, to which he started questioning how that was possible? a cup made from the earth? eh? lol! and so I explained and he immediately got it – pff, these kids got dual core processors, they simply see it when having the basic foundation to see where abuse exists, what personal interest is, what harm is, what killing another is, what death is, what ‘pricdes’ are (which is how he called a ‘salary’ or ‘wage’ for a person’s job), animal life, respecting life, etc

A great point is that he said – I dislike cheaters, (I explained what greed implies in wanting to win the game all the time and thus being dishonest in cheating to make their ‘winning’ certain to which he added that it thus limits the others to have any chance to ‘win the game’ because it’s already been ‘fixed’ fascinating) – he continued on the equal money point: people that are working for a job to live should get money and people that don’t care about themselves and that don’t care about anyone else because if they don’t care about themselves = they won’t care about anything or anyone else, shouldn’t get money. As simple as that!! just how it should be.  He’s completely aware of how people are paid by others that are in a master’s position of having a lot of money and that the ability to do so – meaning having people ‘beneath’ them – make them even richer.

Yes, a 7 year old kid – fascinating – I could speak words and he would immediately ‘grasp’ it to his understanding in very simple terms and then come up with his own experiences on the specific topic – I mean while he was explaining all of this things he was just sitting on a basketball ‘ball’ and moving a bit around until he finally sat in the couch completely into the conversation – he was simply expressing himself with what he’d seen and how we have to ‘not litter on the streets’ and not beign able to understand what a person has to ‘be’ or ‘think like’ to say ‘I will litter on the earth’ and so then someone else having to do them for themselves – He even explained how he cleans his room and helps his mom to do so.

I would’ve probably spent more time talking to him, lol it was funny that I said ‘okay, I have to go now’ he simply followed me downstairs and kept explaining the points and then up again until he finished explaining the points he wanted to address with regards to this kid complaining about not winning a game after he’d seen him cheating to actually win but then not doing so and thus complaining about something that he’d created for himself wherein he obviously saw that the kid ‘revealed’ the ‘nature’ of himself as a cheater and already not allowing others to have the opportunity to win not even by ‘stroke of luck’ – fascinating.

So, would be cool if the communication opens up again, he’s a really cool kid that exprsses himself perfectly well and has got more than the basic common sense we would require in any given human being to see what is best for all as life.

I enjoyed this  point thoroughy and pff, it is cool to encounter kids like this really – I experienced the same common-sensical way of living from my aunt’s son in germany who is the same age as K and really just talking with them about these everyday events they see in their lives, with their friends or classmates or whatever goes around in their environment and being able to clearly see ‘what’s best for all’ and just being kids that express themselves, that are considered playful yet when establishing communication with them, it’s fascinating to see how they think, how they live what they speak of – I mean they can only speak from experience, they can’t speak of any other given thing, lol another basic point on communicating as self- kids get it faster than ‘adults’ of course.

Enjoyable – very cool, let’s see what opens up in another moment.

With regards to my experience and everything on the past two days, I see the points, I can see that I will have to deal with this whenever the points emerge again and yes, it is my ‘testing’ the standing of self honesty in my world, I was just reminded by this within the uploading of the third part of my resonance interview


it is great support for everyone as equals –

So, kids as the future – education, development of vocabulary, practical reference points within their reality – living as an example as a father/mother – fascinating, talking with this kid is ‘refreshing’ from all the bullshit going around in the internet with adutts fighting against each other – if the world could only exist with kids like him, the laws would be on not exceeding sugar ingestion or hours in front of tv lol – just ‘dreaming’ on a bit here but, I can see that it is defintely worthwhile to do this for kids, to pave the way for kids like him – it makes complete common sense –

thanks for reading

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