Testing through words to write about – it became obvious that the points related to death, pain, suffering had to come through after realizing the death of a beloved being, yes everyone that had been at the farm enjoyed her.
I can only speak from the innumerable amounts of times that we played ball, the many times she’d come to my desk and place the gooey ball on my leg to throw it to her – it was never too far or too high for her to catch it, it never was too late at night or too early to do the same over and over again . All I’ve got is cool memories from that, but I also saw her suffering from the time she got her surgery and how she was really down and in pain – we’d take turns to baby sit her through the day – I remember not being able to cope very well with seeing her that way because she’d always be the ever-panting type of dog that’s never too tired to play ball…
So, a decision had to be made today, to put her to sleep because she’d had to basically go through the same process again which could eventually become a pattern – she had a process of her own definitely and some videos are still up about it if anyone wants to review them I’ll leave the links at the end.
Though this point opened up the Euthanasia which is something that I fully support and I told L how it is weird that we accept to do this to an animal but not to a human being – why not? because there’s a mental attachment from human beings to other human beings? I’d say the same goes towards an animal – anyways to me that type of differences make no sense in this world and preserving a human being alive just for the sake of keeping the family or the people close to the one that’s suffering ‘happy’ is sheer egoism, sheer selfishness wherein the actual experience of the human being is not being considered at all.
I cannot see why there are laws that cannot actually allow the person itself to decide to die, to have an ‘assisted suicide’ for the sake of ending the suffering from a terminal disease – we’ve become so infatuated with life preservation – or should I write “life” because we know we’re not yet actually living- and within that, pondering our ‘thoughts’ and feelings/emotions and whatnot over the actual physical experience that another goes when getting to a point wherein life in the physical becomes too much to handle, becomes a drag in itself – that’s not living and all people should be able to decide when to have a dignified end to themselves in such conditions – for clarity and third eye parties: this is NOT supporting suicide, once again: this is only in cases of people going through terminal diseases and any other physical impediment that tampers the ability to live and have proper physical functioning in this world as a decision taken by themselves after having had proper psychological and medical assistance to evaluate the case – yet not forcing the point of them staying alive if it’s virtually impossible to stop a degenerative process in the body –
From when I was a young girl I remember my grandmother was sick and remained with various illnesses through her entire life. I had quite a relationship with her, I liked teasing her because I saw her as easy-to-be-picked-on yet it wasn’t with malice, it’ was more like a way to make her laugh and stand outside of her own pains and self-created turmoil she lived in.
I remember organizing all her meds that were lying inside a box, out of their respective boxes and so when I showed her what I had done with them and expected a ‘thank you’ she proceeded to shuffle them all again, seemed she liked her stuff all messy anyways – I don’t know why I got that memory so embedded. Anyways she’s dead, she died like 2 years ago while I wasn’t in Mexico, seems my family cared-a-lot that I wasn’t here and that I didn’t say anything about it when I was back, nor have I gone to the cemetery or anything, not interested either.
My mother probably still sees this as ‘rude’ as she sent me a message to remind me of the day that she died this year – I simply replied ‘ok’ because I have nothing else to say about it – I didn’t grieve over her dead even though this is the closes ‘death’ I’ve had in my life – though I was never really close with her either – anyways, I was actually glad that she died because she ended her life-long suffering from various diseases – yet when saying this to my family, they reacted momentarily to my words but eventually saw how it was true.
When I explained to them how people grieve over their own death and how they aren’t actually considering what the person goes through when people are wanting the person to remain alive, they understood how it’s actually selfish to preserve someone alive for the sake of the people around them.
Unacceptable- yet morality fucks the points up, all religious babble that condemn these acts as well, all that which stands as a posture that isn’t considering the physical actual reality at all.
Lately I’ve had several people commenting on my video entitled ‘Is there Life after Death?’ in spanish – fascinating how it has pushed several buttons because everyone wants to believe there’s a heaven you go to – I only could ‘hope’ there’s a heaven for animals because they’ve been the real deal here in this world – and they are the ones that we’ve put on major suffering through our domination process on Earth – unacceptable. Though obviously not really ‘hoping’ for them to exist after death, is just one of those thoughts that I’d like to resort to in cases wherein we see animals suffer and die – I breathe and let go of it all as nothing that can die can be actually real – that’s the key here.
And so – we look at how evacuation comes after the word euthanasia – evacuating the body that requires to be put to rest to go back to the earth, evacuate it from the consciousness that suffers, that thinks and feels – seems to be the most eloquent and reasonable thing to do yet, we’ve got many perspectives in this world still fighting against this right.
I take some of the points that Bella once discussed in a pair of videos wherein people would focus too much on Euthanasia or assisted death and would create such grand debates instead of actually making sure that the same emphasis is placed on actually Assisting Life – so it’s a matter of considering Life as the cycle that must be taken into consideration from beginning to end in equal-consideration – no point must be ‘more important’ or feared or relevant – instead simply considering what’s best for the being and their experience throughout their life and support everyone the best possible way.
So yes, when Life becomes the highest value, death as an end to this life must be taken with the same care till the last moment and won’t be influenced by any type of morals or money or any other ideology that is currently deciding for being, but instead accept Death as part of the cycle that we’re in here for.
I have experienced these taboos at home and I’ve brought the points up until it becomes more ‘comfortable’ to talk about it- yet fascinating that people go into this tension to simply not have to speak about it.
Probably facing the ‘fear of death’ has come to me only through dreams. I had a very specific one wherein I gave my last breath when realizing I was going down a cliff inside a car that had simply missed the road and that was it – I’ve also faced fear of death in some real life minor events mostly involving car accidents, one where I could’ve fried to death and that I actually shared in a blog because it was in a fucking instant that I could’ve been dead in the middle of the night – fascinating how we’re so vulnerable to dying and that’s how we simply say: live every day as if it’s the last day of your life – that means: do not fear death, it’s useless to live to die and to see death as something that is not to be spoken about, or must be ‘avoided’ at all cost.
Removing the ‘fear’ and confronting it for what it is has allowed me to be more stable here in my reality – in moments of apparent death in dreams I’ve been mostly allowing it to come as in realizing: okay this is my last breath and I go – only once did I freak out while dying in a fire… so yes, I’ve forgiven myself for that and that’s it.
I am here and I live – I walk and I don’t fear dying – that’s what my conscious mind wants to say though there’s obvious points that I haven’t faced as an actual death so, it’s one of those points wherein I simply know that I won’t be thinking about ‘going to heaven’ or ‘going to hell’ and instead welcome the death when it comes and in any form it comes as I’ll know that it’s not something ‘bad’ to happen to me, but a single basic outcome that’s inevitable the moment you’re born into this world. As simple as that.
So conclusion of this all:
Dignified Life = Dignified Death for ALL in Equality
This way we don’t make death any more or less than what it is, we accept it and simply allow ourselves to let go of those that depart as it’s only part of life to accept and see death as part of this cycles we’re living as.
Thanks for reading.