Tag Archives: characters

423. Proof that I’ve been Mind Controlled

 

Following through a bit with this ‘happiness’ redefinition, I would not have been able to be comfortable in opening up this word to redefine if I hadn’t looked at a key aspect that I’ve been noticing for quite some time in walking this process of removing/stopping past self-definitions.

This became clearer when I shared in a podcast I called Doing Good = Uncool? about how currently there is a tendency to deem everything that is rebellious and antagonistic as ‘cool’ and everything that is supportive, disciplined and orderly as ‘uncool’ – and the way I found out that this mostly was a personal perception is when I attempted to find pictures on Google images that would depict this type of construct or judgments upon what I had seen as ‘cool’ and ‘uncool,’ there were no pictures for me to depict that! So that made it obvious that I had to rather look at it from a very personal manner instead and ended up creating my own ‘picture’ to depict the kind of perception I had held within me.

 

Cool vs uncool

 

My previous attempt in life was to become what I defined and believed to be a ‘cool’ person, so just because I had gotten so much bashing/criticism from my peers while growing up for always being ‘the straight A’ person in school and so being defined as nerdy for that and ‘tight’ or ‘uncool,’ I focused on finding ways to shake those definitions off by being very specific in the type of ‘person/personality’ I would become. This is how I decided to pick and integrate aspects that I could deem were going ‘against the grain,’ so to speak, against the expectations that I perceived everyone had around me. This influenced everything of me, the way I would dress/look, act, speak, the topics I would bring up, the kind of books I read, the kind of music I’d listen to, the way I would relate to people, to my family etc.  And TV was a great source of ‘inspiration’/dormant brainwashing for that, as I have shared here previously that I mostly grew up watching MTV and so there I shaped all my preferences toward everything and everyone that seemed to ‘challenge’ the status quo, to go against the flow and step out of the ‘schemes’ in one way or another, or be intimidating toward others, as a way to ‘challenge the establishment’ or being in a constant ‘defense mode,’ which is a ‘trendy’ way to actually hide the fear that instigates these ‘hardass’ personalities.

Little did I know that this was part of a greater scheme of social engineering to have kids grow up aspiring to be ‘rockstars’ or ‘artists’ and had nothing to do or no sense of responsibility to this world, but instead define all things ‘rebellious’ and ‘antagonistic to the system’ as being super cool.

So, this is how I then became what I could define as a disciplined rebel, because it’s not like I started slacking at school, I actually proved that I could still ‘pull out a straight A’ without even studying at times, just by being very attentive in class and so using my ‘wits’ to challenge professors and classmates alike – lol, I was really in for being like a typical dissident in many ways and deem that as cool, even if for others it wasn’t, to ‘me’ that was the definition of ‘being an outcast’ and enjoying myself within that because of seeing myself as ‘special,’ as having ‘no trend’ without realizing it was a trend and it was becoming more and more common in order to get people reacting, being angry and antagonistic against everything and everyone, just to remain in perpetual conflict and never looking at solutions.

Of course nowadays doing this type of ‘dissidence’ has become like the norm and it’s no longer as ‘shocking’ as it was some 10 years ago, which is how I’ve seen a fascinating shift in the perception of ‘values’ and the role that the media/TV has had on twisting people’s ideas of ‘what they want to do with their lives’ and what they find as ‘cool’ or ‘uncool’ by imposing a ‘new’ morality that claims openness, sexual liberation and ‘independence’ but it’s all just a false idea of empowerment through antagonism – been there, done that, doesn’t work!

So this is why I then saw that everything I deemed as ‘uncool’ was in fact that which was in fact supportive: to be self-responsible, to be disciplined, to be non-antagonistic, to have a ‘clean’ presentation of oneself, to not be destructive, to not bash or blame others, etc. This included a very key aspect that had prevented me from realizing I could live the word ‘happiness’ in fact, because I had associated happiness with people being fully blind and not seeing reality, I deemed it as a dirty word that could only be used to define an ever elusive utopia that we were too far away from or impossible of ever creating even. I deemed that anyone that could call themselves ‘happy’ were absolutely disingenuous and blinded from reality. So it is in this judgment that I then prevented me from even considering looking at this word ‘happiness’ for myself, meaning investigating ‘who I was’ toward this world, how I could live it in a self-honest manner; I was in a way still holding on to the ‘image’ or ‘idea’ of myself as still ‘challenging the system’ and being cool in that, but in no way wanting to get to what I had defined as ‘being a positive thinker’ of sorts by talking about things like ‘being happy,’ or creating a ‘happy future for everyone’ lol.

 

 

 

All of these are just judgments and perceptions wherein I was in fact denying to myself being able to expand my living into seeing the word happiness and not link it to some nerdy-good-doer type of personality as my own mind construct, as my own past definitions that came through ‘judgments’ that I refused to be or become at others’ eyes. In fact now that I can speak about it and define me in the process of creating happiness within myself and my world, I no longer see something pulling out inside me as a ‘NOOO what the hell are you talking about!!?’ type of reluctant backchat that would come within me whenever anyone talked about ‘being happy’ or aiming at being happy in this world. A part of me really, really rejoiced experiencing and living in misery, gloom and doom which is a whole construct that I’ve been debunking throughout the years in this process, and along with that discovering what I was preventing me from acknowledging as part of my living potential, just because I had defined it as ‘uncool’ lol, and going ‘against my personality.’

What are personalities really but locks and cells wherein we believe we would ‘get out of character’ if we challenge such self-definitions and preferences and dare to think outside of our box – it’s really all a mind job wherein we hold on to ‘past definitions’ of who we are and in that we lock ourselves in one way or another from being able to fully embrace our living potential, which is not at all about being a ‘good person’ now instead of an ‘evil one,’ not at all –  it’s about recognizing words for the expression they are and can be when lived in self-honesty, and no longer about words that hold relationships to pictures, ideas, personalities or preferences as they exist in the world system.

 

In this, I realize that if we are to genuinely become the living word, we have to expunge ourselves from any limitation, any self-delimitation/definition that keeps us locked into a phoney idea of ‘who we are,’ which becomes a constricted character that is still defined by attitudes, behaviors, preferences, personality traits and so forth which are all part of the egos we believe we are. So it’s always a matter of asking oneself: what do I accept and allow to define me and my every moment in this world? What am I still holding on to with preventing me from living this word – such as ‘happiness’- as myself? Why had I defined this word as uncool and a pure sham? What am I missing out when dismissing living a world that is actually able to be lived and constructed in a self-honest manner?

Seems that self-sabotage is the only answer as to why we prevent us from digging out the corpses that prevent us from give ourselves a real blank-slate to create our lives, free from the past, I mean why would I want to hold on to an idea of ‘who I should be’? To be liked by ‘certain kinds of people’ only? Because I wanted to get along and ‘attract’ similar people – but would I then be even ‘attracting’ real and genuine people or only other similar characters that focus on getting along with similar characters in their lives to remain locked in the same characters forevermore?

Time to break the shell of one’s personality in all ways and challenge it further, and to me having to be speaking of solutions, focusing on looking at practical reality outcomes and how I can be a living example of doing this would have been like an ‘uncool’ thing to do in the past, because I was following the bashing/ rebelling trend, lol, not considering that I was really on my way to be a self-defined pariah that wanted to be special and ‘cool’ through abdicating all responsibility to myself and my world, because ‘oh it was ‘so cool’ to only bash the world and do nothing about it.’ ´

My suggestion is to watch out for this kind of thinking construct, even more so when this kind of ‘attitude’ is shaping lots of youngsters mindsets with ‘life mottos’ such as Y.O.L.O You Only Live Once and ‘living life on the fast lane,’ being the most ‘rebel’ and ‘darky’ and ‘antagonistic’ to precisely avoid youngsters genuine awareness of how they can contribute to creating life, a better future for all – and instead remain in an abysmal and gloomy outlook on life, because in that way you get discouraged from ‘doing something about it’ and so, it’s most profitable to seek ‘happiness’ or fulfillment through trends, drugs, partying and sex than doing anything genuinely supportive in one’s life.

And so, this is then a general self-awareness point wherein this ‘live fast, die young , don’t give a fuck about anything or anyone, do drugs, have sex with as many as you can and enjoy the rock and roll’ type of mentality is seen as ‘the ultimate cool’: It is not, and that’s why there’s such a vast amount of disarray and mental/physical problems in young adults that follow this ‘trends’ that actually start from TV, from so called ‘alternative books’ as well as it happened in my case.

 

Here’s an invitation to look at yourself, where is it that you are still a product of social-engineering brainwashing through the media and ‘culture’ in terms of personalities, likes-dislikes, preferences, the ‘type of people’ you’ve perceived yourself to be and all the points that go ‘against your character’ that you have refrained yourself from openly investigating. I would not have been able to get to this conclusion if I hadn’t walked the process of deconstructing ‘me’ as a personality and so link the dots to see why I had a slight reaction to even talk about ‘happiness’ before.

 

Life is not about becoming a character that seeks to be the ultimate cool and ‘rebellious,’ that’s the illusion of freedom SOLD as an EXPERIENCE.

Genuine and real freedom from mind control is to take responsibility for oneself, to actually not allow oneself to be brainwashed into ‘trends’ or following what the masses think is ‘cool’ which at the moment is ‘the masses think being a rebel is cool’ which is then of course not at all an actual ‘threat’ any longer, lol, it never has been! Think of the punk movement as being part of social engineering in Britain to exacerbate youngster’s addictions and dissociation from taking responsibility in their society, because drug addicts and an impaired society is more easy to control than healthy, self-aware and ‘unbrainwashable’ individuals, which is what we have to now focus on being and becoming – mind control is only possible if we accept it and allow it.

So, are you mind controlled?

 

Unhooking Past Definitions

 

Cool blog to read on re-approaching Happiness:

Why I First Resisted The Relationship of Happiness to Money – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 653

 

Oldie:

2012 Destonians Take Over the World: The New Culture of LIFE

 

Read people recognizing their self creation abilities – including the redefinition of happiness – in the 7 Year Journey to Life blogs

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


278. Judging what’s Best because not Everyone Can Have it

What’s in it for me within judging it?

 

Continuing from: 277. Finding it Hard to Accept Rewards

 

When we speak about standing up for Equality, it is not only a common sensical decision and self agreement to affiliate ourselves with a viable solution to change the course of the future of humanity, this process of realizing what it means to stand up for equality imply a profound self-investigation to understand the patterns that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to live-out that lead us to the current state of extreme inequality that we are living in in this world. We often forget or don’t consider that such inequality is not only a ‘flawed system’s result,’ but it is actually the consequential outflow of having become and embody personalities and characters that oppose each other, becoming seemingly incapable of getting to an agreement.

The fact is that within this, we will all have to work together and no matter what kind of slightest ‘out of character’ self experience exists when we are standing up for what’s best for all, it must be walked through and dissected through a process of self investigation through writing, applying Self-Forgiveness  in Self Honesty , because we understand that any discrepancy that is experienced with regards to the facts that contribute to a life for all, implies that one is playing out/ living out a certain pattern that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist-as, what’s best for all.

 

The usual disagreements created when proposing a new living system can only exist when there are personalities as the ego coming up. This has existed within me as a judgmental experience when having to ‘sell’ what’s best for all, which is also another way that I have used to create a point of uniqueness/specialness when standing ‘outside of the majority’ and as such, when having to ‘play the game’ of the majority, this personality is threatened, because I have to play everyone’s game now, judging the majority at all times and the majority’s ways in which this world has only been motivated through positive reward – a.k.a. money. But, this is what we have limited ourselves to define as ‘rewards’ currently, because that’s all we’ve learned to place value upon.

 

Therefore I understand that one has to walk-with/at the pace of the majority in order to step by step get to a point to understand the real-rewards existent as an inherent outflow of establishing a that I have accepted and allowed myself to be and become. Everything that has gone before me are the direct influences of my existence in such a way: the family lineage, the ancestors and all of those who have gone before me of which I represent this current ‘version’ of a human being that sees common sense, understands world-wide organization that will be based in the physical-tangible and mathematical outcomes that can be established when stopping working on fallacy-values like our current financial system, and start working together to rehabilitate the relationship with ourselves, our own mind that is the one aspect of ourselves that we have blindly followed through with without assessing what are the actual consequential outflows from living ‘as the mind’ only, because we have never known anything else other than ‘who we are as the mind.’

 

Thus, I realize that we have to take small steps at a time when understanding the current world problem that we’re facing, wherein we all known how ‘flawed’ it is, but within understanding the origin of such flaw within ourselves, there is no longer someone left to blame other than each one of us looking within ourselves to see where and how we have in any way prevented ourselves from establishing What’s Best for All, and sometimes, bizarre stuff can come up with this.

When reviewing the point of ‘finding it hard to accept rewards’ it is something that at a conscious level people would define as ‘benevolent’ like ‘She cares so much that she cannot fathom being rewarded in any greedy way’ or at least I can see this within myself it exists as a projected judgment that I could expect to obtain as a result of my perceived ‘benevolent self’ – However, at Desteni we’re educating ourselves about how the mind works and as such, we cannot draw quick conclusions about it and keep the positive aspect of it intact. This is one single aspect of this construct, and a masquerade that it’s relatively easy to find when we understand how any point of benevolence actually stems from the negative at all times.

 

So, when finding out some of the actual origin points of this, I realized that I can only resist something if I fear letting go another, and because fearing is just an excuse to hold a certain idea of myself in this case, I can only conclude that such thing I am holding onto must be perceived as ‘positive’ within my mind, and as such when facing the threat of actually no longer having to ‘play out’ such personality, in my mind I see such personality/ego point threatened.

 

Now, in my case the ‘positive’ point was not within the realms of ‘wanting more/ seeking for more’ but instead quite the opposite and being rewarded by it. This can be read in the blog:

208. Doing Good as Positive Credit-Rewards

And this is part of an entire series of blogs wherein I described the positive experience linked to ‘doing good’ specifically when it comes to ‘changing the world,’ but in my way, which meant doing good ‘for others’ and for the ‘greatness’ of it and as such, miss out the entire point of doing it for myself first and ensure that my starting point is of actual self-equality realization not just ‘doing good.’ – in other words this means placing myself within such beneficial outflow.

 

There’s a character within this wherein I consider I am comfortable with speaking all about all the points that I have essentially judged within others and myself as bad/negative such as humanity’s inherent greed, corruption, abuse, all forms of problems and more ‘uncomfortable truths,’ and as such linked my ‘positive experience’ to this type activities of what I can call a humbleness and belittling wherein I believed that I can ‘live with the least’ and ‘refuse luxuries’ and ‘spend very little money’ and creating a positive experience out of it, to make it seem as if this is a cool thing to do, which lead me to obviously judge everyone around me that certainly have money and spend it in all forms of things that ‘make them happy’ and that I judged as vain/ hypocritical/ bad and all that negative type of connotations around that which points out greed as an abuse.  However, I have also realized how I would really not want to live with limitations due to money, it is simply not living but surviving.

 

I realize that I have in fact judged happiness, joy, enjoyment and all the positive things in this world through this Eye of the mind within our current world system, wherein Yes, the pursuit of happiness have lead us to this current unsustainable/out of proportion and touch with physical reality system. However as anything: it is not that ‘happiness’ is something ‘bad’ in itself, it is simply the Ways and Means that we have used to create it that are the problem.

 

Hereby it is to understand that I am only refusing the current idea/perception of what Rewards are according to what I have described in the previous blog as capitalist-consumerist tricks that are just pushing for further consumption/ profit and greed. However the Rewards we are talking about within the Equal Money Capitalism are actually outflows of having a system working in a mint condition, thus this would not imply that such rewards will be created to make people ‘want more’ or as a form of ‘retribution’ but instead a single outflow and outcome of giving and receiving in Equality, which is and should not be regarded as something positive or negative, but just considered within physical laws that exist without the ‘power charge’ of who we are as the mind that tends to polarize everything within a black and white scope, a positive and negative because this is what generates the opportunities to create inner conflict and as such, benefit the mind with resourcing such energy for the existence of the mind.

 

I realize that who I am as the mind has contributed to keep the definitions well in place when it comes to what’s positive and negative and as such build myself around these self-definitions, which is again only existent as knowledge and information that we eventually embody for whatever reason we can find in our minds to do that.

 

Thus, the form of self definition that I’ve grown up with in order to create a form of righteousness is like ‘I am better than others because I do see common sense/ I am not greedy/ I refuse luxuries’ – however it is truly only a self-belief and actual righteousness of the mind, because I have certainly not refused all luxuries, I cannot claim I have never been greedy in my life and I certainly wasn’t fully accepting the common sense of the rewards that we can implement to actually better the lives of all living beings in this world.

 

This righteousness is mind defined as a particular character wherein I believe myself to be ‘right’ and ‘better’ because I create some empathy with that which is Real as the actual reality/people/circumstances where real suffering exist, wherein I am almost ‘proud’ of myself of living in constant worry and concern about the world/ ecosystem/pollution which has obviously only served as a crutch for me to again feel that I am ‘more real/ on the real side of reality’ without realizing how within this ‘affiliation’ to the ‘reality’ of this world I have only remained within the aspect of pointing out the problem, wanting others to react with the same worry/ concern suffering as myself in order to instigate change, which can support to open up our eyes, yes, but it certainly cannot remain as one single aspect that I hold on to and refuse to look at the ‘brighter side’ within this. It is in fact me defining the negative as the light-less and the positive and good as the ‘light’ that is causing this current conflict, which now I see begins within myself.

 

Another aspect is how within only ‘pointing out the problem’ we remain within the same constrains of ourselves as the mind and the system in general and that’s it, that’s how the real challenge is proposing solutions and the rewards that are not an ‘extra’ thing but a simple outflow of beginning to do what’s best for all. It can only be a mind possession to refuse or create any form of dissonance toward creating real solutions in this world, lol, a real mental-problem for sure that I have existed as without being able to See it, because to me this was ‘right’ and the ‘correct way’ to exist.

 

Why? because within this, it is the ‘compassionate/righteous’ character I’ve become that would lose this point of specialty as the ‘considerate one’ toward those that suffer that would have to cease to exist when there is no one else to feel compassionate for in a world wherein everyone is equally supported. Here we can also spot how charity-makers become addicted to ‘giving charity’ as a self-definition wherein if no one else requires ‘charity’ because everyone gets equal access to what they require to live = we stop requiring ‘charity givers’ that have usually created a positive experience within themselves through ‘giving to the needy ones’ which requires the existence of ‘needy ones’ to exist in the first place = absolute cycle of abuse sugar coated as benevolence.

 

So obviously, I could only create a resistance at a mind-level toward that which is best for all in the physical, as the physical conditions and rewards that we can give to each other , an actual possession I’d say, because it is certainly not common sensical to create a resistance or rejection toward that which will better living beings’ lives – thus, it is only the ‘who I am’ as the idea/belief of who I have accepted and allowed myself to be can create such negative experiences toward rewards.

 

This is the actual cool self-exploration to finally open up a point and investigate it in its totality, because this was certainly only existent like this ‘experience’ within me that I described as a ‘lock’ and resistance which can only exist if our self-definition is threatened in one way or another.

 

This is probably something that happens to many people, which is becoming hooked on misery/ negativity/ pessimism as self definition, wherein we don’t dare to actually see how life can in fact be if everyone is equally supported because of various factors that I will continue sharing within these blogs. These include patterns of humbleness as an experience of sacrifice in the mind, martyrdom, belittling, punishment, guilt, unworthiness and so forth. I see that this underlying experience is what is preventing me from truly embodying what’s best for all, because in this self-diminishment and affiliation toward the problem, one ‘cannot see the solutions’ just because that would imply stopping the personality that thrives in that constant self destruction/ impossibilities/ negativity that is not even existent at a thought level that could be spotted as ‘negative,’ but as an experience that becomes like a ‘lock’ for us to actually not see and realize that we can In Fact be and become what’s best for all within ourselves, accepting our Living-Equality within is the first aspect. And that is a process.

To be continued…

 

 

too much thinking

Blogs:

Mind Value System = Money Value System: DAY 275

Interviews:


255. Your Life has been a Lie, What is Real Then?

 

Our lives have been like a play: you’re born into the world, you never question the script, you learn your lines, you do all you can to keep yourself in the role as you grow up, maybe even try and evolve the role or ‘out do’ it, but eventually only managing to become the exact opposite of what you originally were, which is still defined by the first role you begun playing in the first place – still a controlled form of rebellion. You accept limitations without a question because there must be a director out there that is ready to fire you/ punish you if you skip a line or two, or dare to give more of a ‘freedom’ in expression to your character. You accept the menial ways in which a ‘living’ is made, you learn ‘that’s just the way it is’ and conform to that since everyone else seems to be doing ‘just fine’ with it – you comply. You sometimes reflect back at your character and believe there is inherently something wrong with you, you realize that the character is not really who you really are since there is always this ‘something’ that ‘just doesn’t seem right,’ but you see all the rest of the characters/ people playing their part without a care, they seem perfectly normal and comfortable being their personalized selves, without ever actually communicating with one another that they also felt the exact same way you do, and pondered the same questions you had, but were too afraid to speak up out of being ‘odd’ to step out of the role and question the entire play to finally stop playing in it, because fear then came in: what will we be then? Who will I be without this role?

 

“When an Answer is Given and Received, there is No Living Force that can Give and Receive – because, what has been Received is Accepted and Allowed to be the ‘Only Answer’.
What Answers have you been Given, that you Received so Completely – that you Became it? Your Religion, your
Thoughts, your Feelings, your Culture, your Economic System, Education… See the Perversion of the Message of Jesus: “Give as you would like to Receive”, has been Adapted to: “the Answer Given, is the Answer Received”. And because the Answer is Given, you’re Rewarded when you Receive it. This is the Key of the Sacred Geometry Preprogrammed Design. The Program is the Answer – all you have to do is Receive it. And when the Platonic Solids go into Equilibrium as a System, you have Received the Answer and you have Become the Answer – Complete Acceptance and Allowance.” Bernard Poolman

 

For context read Day 255: The Answer is Given and Thus Received – Secret Geometry of Consciousness and God – Part 3 – ADC – Part 102 by Bernard Poolman

 

 

One single paragraph explains the history of our civilization wherein we simply assumed, believed, perpetuated such beliefs from generation to generation as the purpose of living, the why we are here, what we came here for. And because of all of us wanting to veer toward this ‘tuning in’ with the system, we all sought to be happy and fine and peaceful and glorious without a single question, without pondering why some others had to spend their entire lifetimes physically suffering for some others to have the greatest luck of all to be born in a golden womb. We accepted the answers ‘That’s just the way it is/ that’s the way things are’ and it is inevitable to not see this as a point that could anger all of us, because we all knew it all the way and still kept going, shoving aside all the questions that would emerge every single day, we kept going in the inertia of our own preprogrammed system.  This is the same pattern we have all lived out in one way or another where you know there is something that you must stop, that you simply cannot continue doing/ living within a certain pattern/ dependency/ addiction/ habit, but still: we keep on doing it.  And what’s even more shocking is that sometimes these patterns are the most difficult ones to give up, just because of the intricate relationship with energy, the habits/ patterns that we have patterned ourselves as ‘who we are,’ which becomes then an energetic dependency that we give names as ‘our identity’ our ‘likes, dislikes, preferences’ and justify with further given-answers that the rest accepts as an actual ‘how things are’ type of thing = answer-received.

But, it is even more tricky to question everything within a system that seems to be working ‘quite well’ even within its limitations – and this ‘quite well’ is the conformity aspect, the moment we gave into ‘how things are’ with its ‘ups and downs/ trials and tribulations’ that we have accepted as our life. This is ‘How it must be’ and then we create fantastic stories about religion, or having to suffer to earn some heaven, or coming to the Earth to learn some lessons and ‘earn a living’ because somehow there is something that must always remain as an unknown secret to our existence that we then believe we have to ‘seek for’ as ‘our truth’ and in that, man, you become lost, because all you’ll find in books and from person to person is nothing but the same preprogrammed answers that were deliberately ‘left’ for people to create the very belief systems that would become religions with strong faith in ‘god’ or something greater than us directing the show, within this not questioning ‘god’s creation’ because that’s what we are here, for, that’s what we must do then and be complacent about it. 

Perfect systems of control that are sugar coated with names like ‘the purpose of life/ finding god/ becoming enlightened’ which is only tuning into the utmost form of enslavement as the perfect system that will keep on existing with the same thoughts, feelings, emotions, personality systems and relationships created in order to get oneself to be ‘the winner’ in the play no matter what, because: that’s what we apparently have to be and become, because it looks good/ feels good = must be good and positive.

Suggest also reading 2012 Wake up, Character: Life is not a Play!

 

Biggest Lie we’ve all participated in – same point as being mesmerized by the perfection of all the systematic equilibrium of a system that functions upon abuse – just like a shiny car on the outside that hides inside all the machinery and processes that would not look as ‘glamorous’ as the external surface, because we’ve been so used to only go for the picture / image of it and that’s it, not question anything further, take it as is. Same goes with nature: we spiritualize it creating this marvelous idea of how it perfectly works but forget about the actual laws that are still defining such interactions, which are pretty much the same processes of any form of consumption/ destruction that must exist in order to survive as a system. This is how life and death is happening all the time, yet we’ve come to fear death and seek to be alive by equating ‘life’/ living to all things positive. Really?

 

 

This is the Key of the Sacred Geometry Preprogrammed Design. The Program is the Answer – all you have to do is Receive it. And when the Platonic Solids go into Equilibrium as a System, you have Received the Answer and you have Become the Answer – Complete Acceptance and Allowance.”

 

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Last post I wrote about creating an experience about the ‘order and control’ we see in our reality, wherein we seek harmony, peace, joy, bliss and all the positive things that we have been Taught and accepted and allowed it is what life is all about. One can probably resonate with things like ‘the meaning of life’ and having a purpose, having a goal, ‘all I want in life is to be happy’ and it is quite a shame to realize how we have been so limited to live the way we do with everything we deem as ‘our living’ which is obviously not acceptable – yet we all accepted and allowed everything as is. I asked many questions as a child and would take most of the answers as ‘how things are,’ there would always be this sting wherein I knew that such answer was insufficient, but I stopped questioning because everyone thinks that the moment you question a lot, you’re in to become a sad and depressed person, because somehow becoming aware of how things actually work in the world is something negative – that’s why when one presents an emotional turmoil when becoming aware of every form of abuse we’ve accepted and allowed in this world, we are only victimizing ourselves about something that we have all quietly and adamantly participated in, without a question.

“When an Answer is Given and Received, there is No Living Force that can Give and Receive – because, what has been Received is Accepted and Allowed to be the ‘Only Answer’.”

 

This is why and how we have never been alive, it’s only been systems that we’ve become and played without a question, because of accepting fear as a real limitation to see behind the scenes and go backstage to reflect upon the roles, to see, realize and understand why we are putting up this show for and if it is in fact something that is best for all. None of our lives have lead to a best for all outcome, nothing in this world is currently set to support actual life, but only overcome the obstacles that we created in the first place, only mitigate the consequences that we created and inflicted upon ourselves as a limitation, as ‘who we are’ from the beginning, only create a good experience to ‘help those in need’ while we’ve been the ones that neglected the unconditional support to all in the first place.

 

See the insanity we’ve created as ‘our lives’ and how futile it is to try and patch it/ band aid it with solutions that only try and fix patterns that are embedded in the very blueprint of who we are as our mind/body and the world system that we’ve built as a supportive platform to continue our limited existence as a mind-body in survival mode and seeking self interest above any form of living principle of equality.

The Education of how the mind works is a vital first step to realize all of this, to understand that we have never in fact Lived – and how it is at the same time absolutely possible to become a living-directive being if we direct ourselves to equalize our living to a best for all living process wherein we stop, self forgive and correct all the mind-driven activity that we have embodied without a question as the answer-given / answer-received relationship that kept the current status quo of abuse and disregard in this world without a doubt.

Please study the Quantum Mind Self Awareness interviews for further context as well as any other series at Eqafe that support one equally to become aware of who we are/ what we’ve become and how to walk the correction to stop being the abusive players leading to our own self-destruction.

 

The reason why we are doing this is because it’s clear that nothing in this world is working alright for anyone, not even those that ‘have all the money’ as they too depend on money to keep their personal-heavens in place. That is not sustainable and as long as one single being is being abused/ exploited to build another’s heaven = problem and we all must take the responsibility to solve it by creating a feasible solution that will ensure that within this system, we grant each other equal access to everything we requite to live. Thus it is our living principle to stop the system from running in this zombie-mode and actually wake up to see what we have accepted and allowed as the absolute configuration of ourselves as individuals in this preprogrammed system that ensured lack and wealth for people in an arbitrary mode, all for the sake of keeping some energetic system that runs on polarity to keep its ‘perfect functioning’ without ever questioning why abuse and suffering must exist to keep this perfect-functioning running ‘smoothly’ apparently.

 

The show must end, and nature, the animal kingdom are already standing up, it is only us now that are unaware of this and must become so if we are really willing to become part of the solution to this mad show we’ve ignorantly accepted and allowed. Till here no further, because we are unaware of the hell that billions have to go through in order to ‘make it’ through this hellish place we’ve made of ‘our world,’ without counting the uncountable amount of species and Earthly resources as the substance of the physical that we are abusing to ‘run the show’ as well.  What’s Real is the physicality that we embody, the physicality we consume to keep existing and it is clear for sustainability purposes that we must consider at all times all beings as part of the equations that can ensure life in equality becomes the given-fact in our reality. What do we have to do then? Walk our individual processes to stop blindly participating in the systems of control and abuse that we have accepted and allowed as ‘how things are,’ that’s deprogramming the limitations we’ve imposed to ourselves.

 

The only way to follow through that is acceptable is implementing the Equal Money System that will ensure all living parts and participants in this world are equally regarded and given support within an agreement to never again accept abuse and harm upon fellow living beings as a ‘must do’ in order to make ‘life’ possible on Earth.

 

Walk with us this Journey To Life, to remove all conditions and limitations we’ve accepted as ‘who we are/ how things are’ and direct our lives to be of actual substance, meaning and purpose: to live as equals, how it always should have been.

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165. Following Self Interest is In Fact Self Abuse

Continuing from the blogs:

Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements (part 2 on Self Trust and Self Interest within Procrastination)

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to tamper my own ability to live absolute self trust by deliberately stopping my absolute dedication to the points of responsibility that I have at hand and within this, waver in my self-trust as the certainty of living a decision that I had proved to myself I am able to live by/ stand as

 

When and as I see myself wavering in my stance in relation to self-trust within the words that I speak, my expression and my living commitments – I stop and I breathe – this is where the point of self honesty must be established in an absolute manner, wherein I realize that taking care of the points that I have to do in fact create a point of self-trust according to my own application which is Not an experience, but an actual physical doing/ directing within the consideration of what is best to do and live, which is doing all that which is required to be done.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘waver’ within my self honesty and within my application as it, waver in self trust wherein such uncertainty and middle-road standing creates an outflow/ consequence of me not standing fully and directively within the consideration of me establishing patterns and habits within my physical process that I’ll be living as within the integration of self-corrective application as the physical, which implies that

When and as I see myself wanting to postpone/ procrastinate/ leave aside a point that is here for me to direct – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am creating a pattern of physical consistency and continuity as part of my self corrective application, which implies that everything that I do as a regular/ habitual manner becomes part of my physical process of aligning my words, thoughts and deeds to what is best for all. Thus I realize that I must support myself to create habits and patterns of self support at all times, wherein I ensure that that which I am integrating and imprinting as my physical body is in fact habits/ patterns that are self supportive which includes, directing myself in the moment whenever I see that there is a point to direct and give a solution to, which is the point of self support that ensures one does not create further consequence and lag within taking on a task/ project/ job to do, and within this compromise myself and anyone involved in the decision made.

I commit myself to at all times consider that any fleeting moment of self interest to ‘leave things aside,’ imply me giving head to a single thought in my head to not follow through that which is physically here to be done. Therefore, it is to at all times realize and take into consideration the inner and outer process I am walking wherein all the individual points that I decide to live and apply must be in alignment with a process of self-corrective application wherein I ensure that I in fact stop re-creating past patterns of procrastination.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to grow a point to an unbearable pressure due to having feared talking about it/ expressed my own relationship of procrastination toward this particular project wherein the single thought of me having to ‘do it all over again’ and the time frames involved within that, lead me to simply procrastinate it even further, thus it is to realize how the moment that I continue accumulating ‘points’ toward a point of procrastination, I am supporting the separation, the abuse and the lack of self commitment that I have judged in others, which is something that is clearly revealing to myself how It is that one can be actually spiteful and bite the hand that feeds the moment that we don’t live the words of self correction that we had established for ourselves.

When and as I see myself accumulating a point to give direction to, apply, change – I stop and I breathe – I realize that who I am is defined by the actions or inactions I do – therefore if I am here to live a correction it is to stand absolute as the commitment to get things done/ give direction to that which requires to be physically done – and all of this within the consideration that an actually doing implies a commitment that must be physically translated into a moment of me simply doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become subject to my exigencies and desires at a mind level to instead of directing me to work on the point, I distract myself with ‘something else told to do,’ which is not in any way part of an actual realization of who we are as the point of ‘following our desires’ and deliberately shoving aside a point of self support..

When and as I see myself seeking for my own point of self-interest as that which makes me ‘feel better’ other than doing the tasks that I required to do, I stop and I breathe. I realize that at an individual level this leads us to remain constricted by our own believed points of ‘self enjoyment’ that are not really standing as a point of expansion and self support but instead represent that very ‘cage’ that I have defined and confined myself into which I believe makes me ‘feel better,’ when in fact the reality is that the more I postpone, the greater the ‘load’ gets.

I commit myself to realize that every moment I postpone, I end up having to THINK about everything I didn’t do, which is how I contribute to my own self abuse within the realization that every time that I think, I consume myself as the physical life that is here and that in fact allows me to do whatever is required to be done, because I see and realize that all the exigencies of the mind will only ever support the mind itself to continue evolving and transforming into an ‘upgraded system’ wherein Life is nowhere to be found, because as long as the mind is supported by me ‘following my thoughts,’ I in fact become The provider as my own physical to continue procrastination which is a point of abdicating responsibility while believing that I am in fact doing something ‘better/ making myself happier’ which is not at all so, as happiness/ feeling good is also an energetic experience where self’s stability as the physical is not existent. 

Thus, this is to really take the point of procrastination beyond the perceived ‘self interest’ that we believe we are in fact following, and realizing how we have in fact only served the mind/ energy wherein instead of supporting ourselves to expand ourselves, we end up limiting and compromising our very own life every time that we believe there are no consequences to one single moment that we push aside one day further that which is required to be done today. This is the process and there is definitely nothing else to do but walk the necessary talk to integrate within our very physical habits the living decision of doing at all times that which is best for all.

 

I commit myself to walk the various dimensions within the procrastinator as a character to ensure that I in fact realize in detail how I created the point and within this ensure that I stop the pattern for once and for all.

A point that I will go into in relation to the Thought dimension is  Satisfaction, which I suggest one read at the forum 

 

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DAY 165: After Death Communication – Part 14:

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164. Who am I within Procrastination (2)

If we are really looking into this, we can only develop a point of Self Trust according to how we LIVE self trust and what I had experienced it before in my process was according to my ability to live the corrections and commitments to myself as this process –

Therefore, this is another aspect/ factor when it comes to living out a point of procrastination for an extended period of time and allowing it to grow like a tumor that we then just panic about when it become this unbearable and inconspicuous part of ourselves that cannot possibly be hidden any longer.

What comes up? Self judgment would want to come up, however I immediately see that I can simply take this point from here on, not judging myself for having fallen on this point, as I realize that any point that is here to be corrected t is the simply a point to take on, correct and stand up – simply walking the correction, walk the talk and within this ensuring that I do not stand behind my own shadow-self as the consciousness-experience of ‘all is fine’ and instead dare to face the consequences and the points that I had deliberately dismissed – and I write ‘deliberately’ as I see that there is always a deliberateness to anything that we in a moment decide NOT to do, and that’s tapping into the various dimensions as they are being walked within Heaven’s Journey To Life blog that is being a pivotal point of support within me to get myself ‘back on track’ within this seemingly ‘unimportant point,’ which now it’s very clear how the ‘unimportant’ and devaluation to the actual task at hand serves only for the purpose to give myself a ‘free range’ to simply go through another day without just doing it.

Within this I realize that the aspect of ‘others’ and who am I at the eyes of others is really not relevant within this, this is about myself as the commitment that I have taken for/as myself and that I have realized and lived to a certain extent must be absolute in all aspects for me to experience myself absolutely Here, without any snowballs attached dragging along an entire past of ‘unresolved/ undirected points’ within my reality, which I also KNOW beforehand are never as ‘bad’ as I imagined them to be.

In all of this, we can see how it is only within myself, my own acceptance and allowance to participate in the mind that I’ve become subject to my mind instead of standing one and equal to it. Is this a lesson I can only learn and never again repeat? Yes, as other points that I have proven myself being able to walk, live and be self directive within, I realize that I am also perfectly able and capable of standing up from this and walk the point from square 1.

I also realize that when we hit ourselves on the face of reality and realize the amount of time we lived in this ‘unbalancing act,’ we then try and catch up to everything in one go, creating then the experience of it begin then ‘too much’ or ‘impossible to get to,’ which are ALSO mind-mechanisms to not get it done. I can even see how I can use ‘supporting others’ as an excuse to not get to my own doings and writings, which is certainly not an option to do since we are all perfectly capable of making time instead of being sucked by it and wasting it in really non-supportive activities that I will disclose later on.

Thus, I assist and support myself to walk each one of these thoughts to not get it done by actually Getting to everything, creating a point of balance within my tasks, prioritize, stop any point of distraction and in fact support myself to Live Here realizing that every breath is here as an opportunity for myself to give myself self-direction. And this I also realize doesn’t require a point of ‘background’ of ‘who I am/ what I have been/done’ in the past, but it is simply here for me to walk and as such I stop basing my application according to the past as that would be also comparing ‘me’ to ‘who I was,’ which is only existent as memories. I work with the actuality of myself here, without any judgment and focusing on the physical tasks that must be done.

Within this all it is to walk the point for what it is, not creating any further judgments or experiences toward what is already done, what is gone is gone and there’s nothing else to do but to ensure the point is corrected from the get go here.

Furthermore, I invite You the reader to walk aside, to take on this point of getting things done/ committing ourselves to stop procrastination in any aspect within our reality within the understanding that we tend to blame and complain about ‘the system’ and how ‘ineffective it is,’ without realizing how this world is created out of the choices we’ve made and at the moment, our seemingly ‘unimportant factors’ such as procrastination that we have lived out as ourselves are in fact being the building blocks of our current world-system and our inner-experience of course, as we can see how a point of well being is also based on us being living day by day ensuring that we get things done, as I see and realize this is an actual physical aspect of our lives, it is not thinking it is not entertaining or deviating ourselves within any other point that may be ‘occupying our time’ which is not to be blamed for, but seen as the deliberate point of distraction that it represents within our minds.

Within this it is to see and observe what in our reality has become a point of distraction – either an event, something you want to buy, someone you’re ‘interested’ in, a certain career you are pursuing, a certain possession/ ownership that represents a significant increase in your income ,a future trip/ vacation, a personal event such as having kids, getting married, changing your job, someone dying, someone being born, TV, media, magazines, news, virtually anything can be grouped within the various points that we can distract ourselves with eventually creating these nice comfortable bubbles wherein we become only observers of our reality instead of living in it and seeing ‘who am I’ within participating in all of these aspects and their actual tangible ‘value’ to invest our time in – and this is within the questions that I learned from Anu in asking: how is this in any way supporting myself in my process? and within that, one will be able to spot any point of dishonesty and actually do-the-doing of stopping and correcting the point.

It is also a point to question/ ask myself: who am I within this relationship of procrastination? I could call myself many names that’s clear, however it’s not the point – it is actually not even seeing the point of ‘what is there to be done’ as the actual ‘thing-to-do’ but instead see the who am I within this procrastination as a deliberate point of inaction/ irresponsibility created in ‘full awareness’ which is the relationship that I created as myself toward another point in my reality and allowing it to just ‘bloom’ until the weeds become unbearable. Well, this is certainly an aspect that I am not willing to continue and this is what I can call officially riding again the horse instead of standing next to it fearing to be squashed by him in any given moment.

This will surely continue

 

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Great Series to understand how INSANE it is to judge ourselves, and how Insane it is to think reality instead of Living it:

 

Point to ponder: how it is that animals coming through the portal are able to tell us about physical living and Humans that have crossed over are only able to tell us about their fuckups when being alive?  Who is more ‘HERE’ then? Quite obvious – hear and find out why within the Snail interviews.

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163. Who am I within Procrastination?

This is a necessary point to open up in order to give myself the opportunity to actually see beyond the immediate self interest of ‘doing things later’  and how within this we’re essentially only caring about our Own experience while neglecting the actual effect and consequence that such actions have ‘beyond our nose’ which is a way to explain how within our words, deeds and actions we have only ever considered ‘ourselves’ as individuals, placing aside any perspective wherein the consideration of the whole is in fact an equal and one realization. And this is the point missed in fact, how within our individual processes we tend to ‘lose perspective’ of an actual oneness and equality of what’s being walked, and within this somehow think that because of us not doing something/ doing something, we don’t affect the whole – but we do, oh yes we certainly do, otherwise how else would we be able to manifest the world as it currently exist?

I realized the point of self-trust within myself how within me shoving aside a point to be done, I create this ‘burden’ within me wherein one would want to believe that nothing else gets ‘affected’ by it, but it is not so, it ALL gets equally affected by this one single point as I see that the who am I within this one single point of procrastination cannot be separate from any other aspect of myself as it is not the ‘bad me’ that is not taking responsibility for it, it is the totality of myself that is taking this decision to simply not give direction to one point.

And so, within this, I thought that I could somehow brush aside, hide under the rug that which I knew all the way was here, waiting for me to give it direction. And the actual realization after finally opening this entire point up is ‘why waiting/ why having to wait till all shit hits the fan to move?’

Another dimension – of the plethora of dimensions that have stemmed from this – is how we become uncertain about our own words, our very stance within our commitment to live whenever we are Aware of one single aspect that we are not giving direction to – one or more I’d say – and as such, it is a point wherein I realize I cannot possibly continue fooling myself, yet I managed to do it for so long that it became like an ‘integral aspect’ of myself wherein I would exist in this parasitical relationship toward ‘my procrastination’ as this constant cloud in the head that I would carry around and only access to it in a conscious manner whenever I activated the Time factor during my day. However the fact that I would not apparently ‘think’ about it doesn’t mean it was not there. It was pretty much here and I see how this one single aspect started seeping through anything else and this past week was a key point for me to realize, like taking myself as far as only doing the absolutely basics and responsibilities that I have taken on toward others, however I have neglected the most basic responsibility which is toward myself, at all times – and within this there exists like a massive shift of responsibility and self-commitment wherein I see the pattern wherein I have kept my constant and consistent application of commitments and responsibilities in an ‘okay’ manner toward Others, but when it came to me, my own process, my own writings, I was only really doing the basics of it, not being absolutely here committing myself to the points that I realize require my immediate attention and dedication.

So, I see and realize that this point might as well take me quite some time to take on and I see/ realize and understand that unless I decide to stand absolute this time, nothing will change and nothing will move, which is leaving the door open for me to creep back to old patterns of procrastination or leaving things up to the last minute within the belief that ‘somehow’ I have always managed to get things done in a perfect manner at the last moment, which is Also another aspect to debunk within this all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create procrastination and exist as procrastination based on the relationship I formed toward that which I have to do, instead of actually realizing that it’s not about ‘what’ needs to be done, but who am I within procrastinating, postponing a task/ job/ assignment/ work that I realize I have to do and ‘get moving,’ wherein within shoving it aside, brushing of this point to complete and give direction to, I allowed myself to create a massive timeloop of inaction and abdication of responsibility essentially, because in my mind every time that the point would come up to give direction to, I always gave it a ‘second go’ to ‘do it later/ rather wait for the ‘right moment,’ which is the same as waiting for the holy ghost to come and motivate me in a sense, which is obviously delusional as it is only me that can move myself and give myself proper self-direction, instead of lagging and dragging thing undone/ incomplete around me.

When and as I see myself realizing that it is time to get myself writing/ doing the task that I require to get done and immediately having the subtle fear of this being a ‘long dreary process to complete,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is only a fear thought that I’ve created as the main resistance to this, which taps into fear of being judged, fear of having to do things more than once and within this existing as a bunch of fears in the mind that I can simply stop in one breath and direct myself to simply do it which implies, opening up the word processor and typing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a mind possession around the point of procrastination allow myself to actually not be tied to this one single point in the back of my head, not giving it direction and allowing it to ‘grow’ further and further while believing that somehow I would eventually ‘get to it/ give it direction’ without realizing the obvious which is if I don’t move and if I don’t direct myself to do it, it simply won’t ever be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compromise my entire stance as my process just because of compromising my every breath to be subject to this point of dragging the past as ‘who I am’ in every moment that I see ‘time’ and realize all the things that I am dragging along with time, which is one of the main factors that I have enslaved myself to and not allowing myself to fully be here as breath, as every breath is a reminder of all the things ‘left behind’ instead of actually utilizing every breath to Move myself physically to get it done and within this, stop abusing myself as the physical that I am in fact consuming as the point of procrastination, because this actually creates a point of constant preoccupation and an experience of ‘having something to do’ all the time, which is how we create our own pre-occupations instead of immediately giving it direction as the moment that one realize there is a point to direct/ give direction to.

When and as I see myself compromising my entire process and my beingness to further procrastinate a single point of giving myself direction to do/ complete a task/ job/ paper/ work – I stop and I breathe – I give myself the opportunity to actually take the thoughts coming up, taking the pictures coming up in my mind in relation to working on this project and actually doing it, as the very thoughts are then pointing out to me that which I am separating myself from.

I realize that the more I give ‘length’ for these thoughts to go seemingly ‘unnoticed’ and are ‘brushed aside,’ the more I am in fact accumulating/ piling up this burden within me that I realize is not cool at all to live with, as this is the type of thinking and Not doing that keeps myself enslaved to one single point with no self-direction, instead of actually supporting myself to walk the thoughts into an actual doing and within this stopping the pre-occupation and directing myself to occupation on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a point of disparity within my process wherein I am creating this point of ‘absolute responsibility’ only to a certain aspects in my reality but Not toward everything that is of myself and my immediate responsibilities, which implies the point of giving time to ‘support others’ and forgetting about my own process of actually getting into the necessary and immediate points to walk through self forgiveness – thus

When and as I see myself in any given moment going into a point of desire to support others to the t and deliberately leaving my own process aside and ‘saving it for later,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that I have a schedule with which i can support myself to occupy my time to take care of my basic responsibilities and at the same time use the rest of the time to get my work done, as I realize that every time this would emerge I would then use the excuse and justification of ‘others’ as a point to ‘take care of’ toward others/ something else other than my own process to stop procrastination and get the actual work done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that somehow I would manage to get things done ‘perfectly fine’ up to the last minute as I had done in the past, without realizing that i cannot possibly relay on ‘the past’ to define me and my own self direction here – thus

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that ‘everything will turn out just fine in the end’ is based on a positive attitude within this seemingly automatic ‘benefit’ I would always experience within being a ‘good student in school’ wherein no matter if I would do things up to the last minute – such as writing an assignment/ studying for an exam – I would always have a positive result within it, and within this, creating a pattern of laxity towards tasks/ assignments/ projects that require to be completed in my reality.

 

When and as I see myself believing that ‘everything will turn out just fine in the end’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is one of the key backchat thoughts that I have used to continue procrastinating within the belief that ‘no matter what I do, it will always be fine,’ which is basing my current self application based on the past wherein I was always getting positive results even if I had procrastinated the point for a long time – which is an absolutely unacceptable belief within me, that because it worked in the past it can work now – and also I realize that even if it did work, all the time spent within this procrastination loop has already caused consequence within my physical body due to the extent of energy consumed in order to maintain such point of resistance and procrastination in place, which is like loading an app in your computer that you simply never get to use and it’s always there giving you reminders of requiring and update, and one know it requires action from our side but instead we just ‘let it be’ with no self direction, which seems ludicrous when looking at the reality of the ‘problem,’ however this is how things are ‘blown out of proportion’ in our mind when not being fully self-directive here as the physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my life for granted within believing/ thinking/ perceiving that ‘I will have time the next day for it,’ and within this actually making a statement of giving up in that very moment my ability to live and instead take the next day for granted as a ‘given time’ for me to do things, instead of doing what Is required to be done in the moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use a plethora of excuses to justify my self interest in every moment that I tacitly imply that I do not want to do something and instead do something else that I perceive as ‘more relevant’ in my mind, which is a form of excusing doing that which ‘I like/ prefer doing’ than that which must be done, which most likely comes as a point of actual self-movement that won’t have a mind-urgency to it, but it is actually one of the points that I realize I have to implement and Will myself to do it, as I realize how the moment that we abdicate our breathing to support the mind, we stop being self-willed beings and become mind-driven robots seeking for self interest only.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to honor myself, my every moment of being here with doing/being/living/ becoming that which is self supportive at all times, instead of only focusing on that which has become our own demise as humanity which is following our self interest blindly with no further questioning of the consequences that following this ‘good feeling’ experience as the force we allow ourselves to be driven by eventually manifest throughout time.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider that within only considering ME and my point of preference/ self interest, I am simply declaring the mind’s absolute reign over the physical and within these seemingly ‘unimportant points’ such as procrastinating on a task actually neglect the effect that this has at an existential level which is something that is not exaggerated as it is in the very participation that we all have within this world that we have created our reality as it is, as an outflow of everything that we do and participate upon/ don’t participate in our day to day living.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to leave things for tomorrow, I stop and I breathe – I realize that in this I am taking my moment here for granted and actually believing that I will be here the next day which is obviously not here and as such it is the same as procrastinating what’s here to be done onto a non-existent moment that is ‘the future’ and that I don’t have assured as it being a certainty for me to live every single day –

 

I realize that every time that I procrastinate I am taking my life for granted and actually abusing the breath that I am existing as here and using it to my own self interest to satisfy the ‘who I am as the mind,’ instead of taking the opportunity and the moment to support and assist myself with activities that I can take on in order to expand myself physically, to assist and support my own ‘grounding’ as physical-responsibilities that I can in fact take on in my world and reality.

 

I commit myself to continue forgiving myself for all the reasons, justifications and ideas that I’ve created in my mind as a way to justify and validate my own abdication of responsibility in order to suit my own mind and not the physical reality that is here as what is required to be done, what is supportive for me to live and act upon, direct myself to do at all times.

to be continued…

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119. Oddity: Please, Leave Me Alone

119 is an Odd number and an oddity pattern has emerged. As mentioned in the previous blog, I am here to walk a point that comes before all points in relation to relationships, and that is a pattern that I have played out throughout my life and that I’ve mentioned in the blog  111. ‘Why aren’t you normal? which is a desire to be Left Alone.

And curiously enough, I had been trying to hide and suppress this point from the moment that I heard a song by Fiona Apple in her new record wherein she sings/recoils saying ‘How can I ask anyone to love me when all I do is beg to be Left Alone? –

 

Left Alone

This point can be quite extreme and it kicks in as a defense mechanism of the mind in order to place a red flag whenever there’s something/ someone that might be a potential dynamite to my self-religion, wherein I essentially start running away/ evading to ‘not be bothered’ or simply challenge my ‘way of being’ which is clearly a self-delusion.

The first memories stem from when I was a little girl and my mother would ask me to ‘go downstairs and play with x and x’ during a party or family reunion, which I refused to for whatever reason –I would even go into throwing tantrums simply because of not wanting to go and ‘play’ with other kids, which is how I would create an absolute opposition to the sound of her voice being ‘gently-pushing’ me to do something, until she’d get angry and scold me for not wanting to go downstairs to be/ socialize with other kids.

I can recall that I had a ‘hard time’ making friends simply because of this same point: I don’t want others to ‘disturb’ me, I don’t want to miss out this or that TV show if I go to his/ her house to play – I rather say that  I was sick and that’s why I didn’t go.  And so I always ensured I would only go to/ attend the places and interact with people that I wanted to be and interact with – but when anything or anyone went out of my ‘scheme’ of familiarity, I’d immediately seek ways to not participate, to not have to ‘go there.’

A memory that pops up was for example having outdoors activities at school, wherein kids would enjoy being boy scouts and I just thought of myself as inadequate for all types of outdoor experiences. So, I would push myself to not go at all or only go if it was absolutely directed to school – I really could not fathom how kids would want to spend their Saturdays doing all of that.

 

Sometimes girls would invite me to their houses, or anything else like a party or just going out or something and while they’d be asking me to go there, I would already be wanting to scheme any form of ‘event’ to make an excuse as to why I could not make it – I would rush into saying that I had this or that other class, or that I would be doing something else that would ruin the entire plan.

 

Other specific times is when I had wanted to be ‘left alone’ in relationships, wherein I apparently become too vexed and annoyed by another and in that, start scheming ways to pull myself away, like a literal ‘red flag, someone is about to push your buttons further,’ and as such immediately start getting annoyed by something, creating backchat as clear as ‘I don’t want to speak any longer/ I just want to be left alone’ – which is how I then go into being quiet and finding excuses as to why I should not relate to such person any longer.

 

Even when I was in a moment with ‘established’ friendships and relationships, there would always be a time wherein I just wanted to be left alone, even if I was already quiet habituated to be with them during the day, I would always hit the  introverted mode wherein I would simply remain quiet while backchatting about me wanting to leave home:  how could I get myself out of this situation, can’t he just stop talking, if I say that I don’t want to go then Ill be seen as anti-social, he/ she will take i t personal if I don’t want to go there – I just want to go home

 

Even when I was in supportive environments e.g. the farm I would ‘hit that point’ wherein I just wanted to be alone, like suddenly being ‘fed up’ of being around people and would only project myself into an immediate future of being alone in my room, doors closed, windows closed – no disturbance, silence. This is how the ‘going home’ or being in my room was like my little ‘spot in space’ wherein I could be alone.

And so whenever anything or anyone challenged my routine, ‘my way’ of doing things, my way of dealing with my everyday I would immediately go into a ‘defense mode’ of excuses in order to not go somewhere/ do something that would mean having to go to an unknown place or interacting with new people or doing something new. My home always being that ‘safe heaven’ wherein I could then feel at ease and always yearn to ‘get back to.’ 

So, this manifests even toward people that do not precisely represent a point that I have to ‘run away from’ in physical reality, but simply someone that is clearly being a ‘threat’ to my ‘loner’ character, which I have linked to people suddenly being ‘too close’ to me and I simply deciding that they’re getting ‘too close’ which is how I’ve always kept my bounds to remain the same in my own little routine where nothing moves and nothing changes – thus, the perfect intact trap for myself as my own ego.

 

This will continue…

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114. Being the ‘Supportive Role’ for another’s Character

 

How do we get hooked on each other’s manias by manipulating our own moment and expression in order to support another’s mind possession/ character play out wherein we compromise who we are in order to either suppress or exalt ourselves to play the ‘counter act’ as a deflective mirror of another’s expression, a form of ‘empathetic character’ that plays the role that another character orchestrates, which is part of an entire submissive character wherein I accepted and allowed others to ‘dominate’ me by my own perceived inferiority in such moments.

This is how we keep each other’s in the safe box, being ‘untouchable’ in our devious ways of being wherein in our minds, we’re always winning, without realizing what we are in fact imposing onto another being’s life as well when such being is certainly a child that absorbs this world like a sponge.

Here I walk Self-Forgiveness and Self-Corrective Statements  on specific aspects/ points that I would play out with and toward my father, which became part of my ‘automated behavior’ in any other situation wherein the similar events would unfold.

This is the event again of me going to the supermarket with him wherein I can now see how all decisions I made were based on some type of Fear and how I then would assess a situation in a very quick mode to ensure that I was being ‘secure’ within my self-definition while supporting my father’s self definition and walking together as the supportive roles for an entire ‘mission’ called: going to the supermarket and buying things in ‘no time,’ which means rushing all the way and doing it all just ‘perfect.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hurry unfastening my seatbelt and getting out as fast as possible when being with my father, just because of believing that I always had to hurry in order to not be judged by him the same way that he’d judge my mother. I see and realize that the backchat held is ‘Hell no, I don’t want to be like my mother’ and in that, moving myself out of fear and not out of an actual point of self-movement in common sense.

When and as I see myself wanting to rush out of the car when going out with my father in his car or any other car, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can conduct myself here in every moment of breath wherein there is no need to fear being tagged as ‘slow and inefficient’ or ‘clumsy’ but simply taking the necessary time to walk out of the car and within that, also supporting myself and others to equally slow down, as I see and realize that with me rushing out of the car, I was only supporting another’s character as well which is what must be stopped unconditionally in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mother as slow, clumsy and inefficient – thus agreeing with my father that ‘I had to be and become as efficient as him’ in order to Not become like my mother.

When and as I see myself wanting to be effective in what I do and how I conduct myself in my everyday living, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am following a decision based on opposing the image/ stereotype I have caged my mother in as inefficient- thus I realize that I do not require to ‘want to be efficient,’ and instead simply direct me to walk in self-honesty wherein efficiency is a living-way of conducting myself in a particular task and in every moment of breath, without making it something to ‘attain’ like another character or personality.

I realize that any definition of what is efficient or inefficient can only stem from a self-belief based on a polarity pattern represented by each one of my parents, just to instigate the necessary conflict in my life to create myself as an antagonist toward my mother.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having feared being judged as slow, dull and not physically common sensical due to fearing him reacting in exasperation and general annoyance toward me for slowing a certain process down, hence I realize that I would follow his way just because of creating this idea that ‘his way is always the most practical way’ which is a self-belief in my mind in order to cover up the actual fear that I experienced of fucking up things in that moment, regardless of them being actually practical or not.

When and as I see myself doing things the way that another wants me to do them from the starting point of fear, I stop and I breathe –I realize that I am in that moment not considering the actual practicality of what is best for all, but I am only doing things out of fear of doing it ‘the wrong way,’ thus I direct myself to breathe, diffuse the anxiety within and then direct myself to learn how to do things in a more common-sensical and practical way.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support my father’s anxious-character of ‘going to the supermarket in no time’ wherein we get the groceries real fast, just because of wanting him to confirm that I am ‘as efficient and accurate as he is,’ which is stemming from the opposite point I was trying to Not be which is a lagging nuisance for him just like my mother is/ or how he would complain about my mother when going with her to the supermarket, eventually becoming used to simply going by himself because of her not being able to ‘catch his pace’

I realize that I wanted to deliberately be able to ‘catch up’ with my father and his fast pace as a way for him to have a special regard toward me in contrast with my mother, as that was a rather weird pattern wherein I believed that I had to ‘out do her’ in situations, like a form of unspoken rivalry that would emerge at times.

When and as I see myself rushing through the supermarket trying to be as fast as possible, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is part of the automated rushing in the supermarket father-figure character that is supporting only the perpetuation of the ‘efficiency character’ within me, which stemmed from the fear of becoming like my mother. Thus I direct myself to walk through the aisles and supermarket taking into consideration the breath-pace and not the ‘I’m in a mad hurry’ time pace. The patterns of our parents begin and end within ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rush to help my father to take out the stuff from the trolley with fear and anxiety to make sure I place the products in perfect alignment to the type of products that they will be packed in, which is me doing it from the starting point of fearing my father getting irritated and angry for screwing up his religious order of how to place the products on the band prior to checking out, which is coming from the belief that ‘the cashier is waiting for us and there’s more people behind us,’ which is how I became used to always rushing to do things, because of not wanting to make others wait, which is a form of unnecessary servitude type of attitude, wherein we don’t actually give ourselves our space-and-time required to perform a task as everyone’s got their opportunity to do so – but instead, I complied to the belief that I got from my father that we always had to do things as fast as possible to allow others to go through a certain process/ point of service equally as fast, which is a form of chivalry that I acquired toward ‘unknown people,’ yet from the starting point of wanting to be a ‘good person,’ which eventually becomes detrimental to one’s own practical living as this ensued an unnecessary rush and anxiety to conduct ourselves in on a daily basis.

When and as I see myself rushing to get my products on the band in the supermarket and or getting exasperated for others going ‘too slow’ through the same process, I stop and I breathe – I conduct myself to simply be here as breath whenever I see myself in the supermarket queue and ready to pay for my products, breathing, being patient and walking moment by moment within the process of checking out, which somehow had also become a point of unnoticed anxiety within me to simply rush and ‘get the hell out of the supermarket’ wherein going out through the doors would be like a ‘mission accomplished’ type of situation. LOL

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get hooked on the point of doing things ‘as fast as possible’ for the actual energetic ‘kick’ that I would get from doing that, wherein I became used to experiencing a mix of anxiety and fear that would build up through the entire supermarket experience with my father, which would be relieved the moment that our ‘mission was accomplished’ as in getting everything we required in ‘no time’ and getting all we required in an ‘efficient manner.’

– I realize that this is simply an acquired pattern from the times I would go with my father to the supermarket wherein I actually feared making others wait for my apparent inefficiency to do it as quickly as possible, wherein it seemed like a race that we would go into in order to get the products out of trolley – lol – which is quite interesting when realizing how the mix of fear and anxiety became an ‘enjoyable’ experience within me, which is how I dubbed that going to the supermarket with my father was in fact something ‘fun,’ which was only so from the starting point of the actual experience I’d get from it.

When and as I see myself believing that I had ‘fun’ with my father at the supermarket – I stop and I breathe – I realize that this was me actually saying that becoming anxious, nervous and fearful was fun because of the adrenaline experienced through the entire process of getting our groceries – thus I assist and support myself to realize how fun is just an energetic game that we can also become addicted to if we allow ourselves to do so. Therefore, I see that I don’t require to make something ‘fun’ or ‘boring’ in my reality the moment that I can simply direct myself in and as the physical at all times.

 

I commit myself to stop playing out the characters that we have kept each other caged in for the sake of maintaining a familial relationship of play-outs that we have never considered as the building blocks of this entire world system’s Lie and Delusional definition of what ‘living’ is, which has become nothing else but a perpetual sanctification of the sins of the fathers, turning them into something to be ‘proud of,’ to stand in opposition to something or someone that we had deemed to be inferior/ bad/ less than, without realizing how this has become the basis of our  nature that we have accepted and allowed as ‘who we are,’ believing that it won’t ever change or that we can’t ever get to change it. It’s false, we can, we decide who we are and what we become from here on – this is it, our creation: we face ourselves, walk the living correction and actually create a world that’s a living playground for all or we allow ourselves to rot and die in the ‘old familiar ways’ filled with fear toward a world that we spoiled in the first place.

 

I stand up to create and be an active part of  a world wherein I can ensure that the kids that can come into this world can actually learn how to be examples of what living is, as they will learn from parents that can right now take responsibility for this point: ensuring that no form of ‘positivity’ or ‘negativity’ is instigated as part of the child’s basic character formation. The sins of the fathers begin and end with ourselves here.
Time to Stop for once and for all – It is our creation: we solve it back into Equality and Oneness for the very first time in our existence.

 

“And so, I see, realise and understand that it is with the starting-point of me, to walk-through me as the Mind/Consciousness I have become as living-memories, taking the characters/personalities I have created as memories, and re-align them into and as self-aware physical-living as is walked specifically in the Desteni I Process, so that I can rebirth me into/as what I was supposed to have been birthed as, with my beingness equal-to and one-with the physical, instead of separating my beingness into a Mind that control me/my existence through/as memories. And so I walk this process in investigating the Mind/Characters/Personalities, getting to know how I created/programmed them, to in this understanding re-align those separate parts of me into/as physical equal and one living; as the process of me in fact taking responsibility for who I am in me and my living. And simultaneously walk this World-System of Money in establishing its alignment to humanity/this physical existence to contribute to the life/living of all, and so make humans aware of how changing starts within ourselves, to align our relationship to ourselves, the physical and so this physical existence, from evolving a mind that only serves itself, a world-system that only serves itself: to individuals living/contributing to the life of ourselves and all of humanity and so this physical existence; from the evil of separation reversed to the life/live of ourselves and all within/as walking this ONE DECISION – taking responsibility from the Mind to living responsibility as ourselves and so to/as all as ourselves.” Sunette Spies *

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85. Death to the artist–Bearthing Life

To stop the characterization in our lives implies self forgiving the configuration of our programming to instead, direct ourselves to be and become the actual living physicality that only requires to establish one single principle to be able to coexist: Life in Equality.

 

Any personality and its various characters leads us to act/ do/ say and think according to one single limited character frame that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to reduce ourselves to. Thus, within this I see, realize and understand that the end of the illusion is here as myself, in every moment that I decide to breathe, be here as the physical instead of perpetuating the lie of ‘who I am’ as a character in my mind and toward others.

This is the second part to 84. “What are you up to?”  seen from the perspective of the pattern such interactions represent within the context of who and what we become as ‘characters’ in the world system that exist as such just to live as illusions and delusions that have never in fact ever Lived. Thus, it is within me that the ability to ensure I establish myself here as a living physical being exists – this is to stop complying to playing the game/ being a player in the game we have called ‘life,’ which has never in fact being Living but only getting high on energy up to the last drop to then decay and die as the fleeting spark we have diminished ourselves to be.

 

Hence, this is the end at the moment for the ‘artist character’ in various dimensions as examples of what one single personality possesses our very being wherein we forget about the actual reality that we exist as, and become nothing else but another player in the chess game battlefield that we have superimposed to the unconditional physicality of ourselves here. It’s time to take off the costume – I am here to live, not survive.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the moment I comply to communicate with another based memories, I am in fact re-creating the same illusion that we have bound ourselves to – and by illusion is to understand that it was never in fact real – thus what is the point in perpetuating a Lie toward ourselves and others if we already understand that, within keeping ourselves as such lies we are in fact abusing of this entire reality from life after life after life, just because of this single acceptance of individualized characters that communicate as characters, fulfilling experiences as characters in this staged world-system wherein nothing that we have ‘created,’ has ever been REAL in fact, but only consequence of our eternal drive to ‘fulfill ourselves as characters,’ without ever seeing ourselves as the origin of such ‘search’ in the first place – thus running around in circles, chasing after chasing ourselves only, but always veiling ourselves from realizing this because of the actual positive experience we all sought for as energy itself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I’ve wasted an entire education on art because I am not creating any longer, without realizing that self interest would be to stick to doing something that I realize is not supporting myself as one and equal, and instead do it to simply satisfy the character that I was supposed to be.

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I wasted an entire ‘art career’ because I am no longer creating, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I’ve actually wasted entire lifetimes seeking to fulfill a character that was never in fact real in the first place – thus I let go of any ideal/ belief or perception of anything having any substantial ‘worth’ as myself here – I realize the fulfillment of the illusion was what kept me busy as only a character seeking to fulfill its due-characterization which is not who and what I am here as the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what others have to say in relation to my life as a ‘drop out of character’ without realizing that standing ‘as’ the character and fulfilling a life as such is the actual enslavement that we’ve all complied to without a question, wherein we buy into social pressures of ‘who we are’ toward others, instead of realizing that in playing such which-character-are-you-today game, we are in fact binding ourselves to an enslavement to the mind, the character and the stage alike.

 

When and as I see myself thinking that I have ‘wasted myself because of not following through art-education,’ I stop and I breathe. I realize that this is just a victimization character to keep the mind preoccupied thinking that there’s something ‘wrong’ that was done with that – and instead direct myself to see how I have only been playing out a ‘character game,’ entertaining myself as whether I did good or not, without realizing that while existing lost in such characterization, I missed the entire reality that is here and that I was only focusing on me-as-the-character, missing the reality that we are binding to our mind-illusions, seeking to fulfill each other in order to not see what we are in fact doing/ consuming every time that we ‘call ourselves by our character,’ and thinking that it is ‘normal’ to exist like this.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever make of ‘art’ something important, without realizing that it was just another mind possession that I took on for the evasion it represented just as anything else- and I realize that it could have virtually anything of this world that I could have grabbed-on in order to make it ‘my own’ and ‘my thing’ in life, which is the only way we have kept ourselves busy in our minds, fulfilling each other with lies to believe that ‘what we are seeing/ hearing/ experiencing’ within ourselves is ‘real’ as ‘who we are,’ when in fact: it never was.

 

When and as I see myself placing ‘what I do’ as more than myself, I stop and I breathe – I realize that anything that I make to validate myself as a character is only serving the ego of the mind and not who I really am as a physical being that certainly does not require any form of recognition or validation from an external source to verify that ‘I am here.’ Thus I commit myself to establish the totality of myself as here in every moment of breath wherein I do not require to become a character or ‘create’ something in order to ‘exist.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out characters that seek to validate their own creation as real and ‘meaningful,’ without realizing that it is just another form of praising each other’s character as to see who becomes the best actor of it all, and as such get the most reward in the name of ‘who I am as the mind,’ instead of realizing that in / as the physical there is nothing to recognize as superior or inferior, there is no need to prove yourself to others, there is no need to become something ‘better’ for others to see or praise. Therefore

 

 

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2008

When and as I see myself diminishing myself to become a character in order to fulfill the idea/ memory that others have of myself, I stop and I breathe. I realize that self-as-here cannot possibly continue perpetuating the same game of ‘who you are’ and ‘prove yourself to others’ in order to satisfy a world system that thrives on personalization to create specialized fields to entertain ourselves in, believing that ‘we have to become a character for others, otherwise we are no alive!’ which is how we have compromised, abused and used the entirety of who we are in the name of that fleeting sparkle of ‘personality’ aiming to get ‘high’ in the world system, while neglecting the actuality of how we were able to do this as an absolute consumption of ourselves, reducing life to a single gimmick of living. That is not who I am and I commit myself to establish myself as the physicality in every moment of breath, stopping all forms of mind delusions that come up as temptations to follow through with a positive experience. I realize the illusion for what it is and remain constant and consistent here as breath.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to reduce myself to being a single ‘bright spark’ as the character that I sought to be and become in absolute ignorance of what is it that I was in fact using and abusing to fulfill my desires, hopes, wants, dreams, wishes throughout lives, never ever pondering about anything else but ‘who I am’ as this someone that ‘must become someone better/ greater no matter what,’ and within this single acceptance of becoming a professional in something, a single career, a single character I complied to playing the game of the world system of characters, believing that the most important decision in my life was ‘who I will be/ become when I grow up’ based on the limited variation of characters that I saw as ‘available’ and even with that, having chosen one that I could use as a means to apparently ‘evade’ reality, never realizing that I cannot escape reality at all and that wherever I go I am here – thus, I direct myself to face myself in every moment of breath to ensure that I stop the stupidity cycles we’ve existed as the mind, creating further separation from one another by fully embodying characters that never regarded life as ourselves here – but always used it and abused it to fulfill a program, a script as the character.

 

When and as I see myself loading memories to fulfill the idea of myself toward others in relation to the character I had accepted and allowed and defined myself to be, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the only way I can be real and exist here, is here as breath as the physical – and I dare to stop the illusion within another toward myself, as I realize that the very least moment that I ‘give in’ to play the same old game, I give into the character version of myself that is not real – hence I commit myself to be the one that places a final stop to characters and to face the reactions as what they are, characters complaining a character loss in another, as that debunks the happy-go-lucky character world that we’ve enslaved ourselves within and as.

 

I realize that it apparently takes courage to do this, however if we don’t do it we simply doom ourselves to a finite version of who we are yet again, which is unacceptable and this is how it must be stopped No matter What.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become a character that compromises itself as a character that depends on other characters to survive, which is how essentially we have limited, diminished and made ourselves dependent on a monetary system based upon abuse, determining ‘who we are’ in relation to others according to the amount of money we have a ‘power to exist,’ which is absolutely ludicrous when realizing that we actually would not require this enslavement at all, we have become it because we decide to become a character that seeks for its ‘great high’ instead of realizing ourselves as what is here, in its totality – which is how I see and realize that any point of ‘great potential’ could only exist as an illusion of who I am as the mind – and that the only reality that I actually exist as is the physicality that I am here as, which doesn’t require anything else but itself to exist.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to preoccupy myself with trivial experiences in relation to ‘the character’ that I’ve become in relation and toward others, without realizing that the only thing I really feared was losing the recognition and support of other characters to ‘my character,’ which was the way to simply continue lying to each other in believing ourselves to be these unique individuals as ‘special characters,’ without realizing what we have actually done to ourselves and each other as this entire world system that thrives on the ‘evolution of characters’ that consume more, that have specialized ‘likes’ and preferences that can only benefit a world system that only seeks to fulfill itself and never has in fact realized or supported life.

 

Thus, I commit myself to restore the world order, the life order on Earth and to expose the simplicity of the realization of how we diminish ourselves every time that we seek to ‘create’ in separation of ourselves something just to satisfy our characters.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience any form of guilt or remorse for stepping out of character toward others, without realizing that this belief of ‘biting the hand that feeds,’ is only a blackmailing mechanism used to always maintain each other’s character in place, seeing the ‘out of character’ as a betrayal and often ostracizing anyone that would dare to ‘step out of character’ to point out any for of reality, because they represented a potential threat to this entire world system of characters. Thus I realize how any point of realization that I could have ever experienced in relation to ‘having to choose what character to become in life’ and that I deliberately placed aside, I did so because I could not fathom not having a character to stand by in the world system, which proves to what extent we have become the very ‘masters’ of our own enslavement, believing that we had to fear losing our character as we would experience ‘rejection’ from others, because this is exactly how we have threatened each other to ‘remain in character,’ just like a gang wherein if one decides to stop being a member of it: they are haunted, ostracized, criticized, denigrated and sometimes even killed just because of not complying to ‘the rule of thumb’ of a majority that sought to keep the illusion in place, as the illusion ‘pays off great experiences,’ without even questioning why such experiences could only last but for a moment and never ever could remain here eternally as ourselves, because we actually doomed ourselves to death the moment that we chose to only be these fleeting characters and not life eternal.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself to ‘have to make a living’ in the world system based on becoming a character that could be ‘acceptable’ as a way to make money/ make a living wherein I could in one way or another have to comply to others’ characters in order to build mine – this implies that from the moment that I accepted people as relationships in separation of myself as equals, I complied to the game; and all the way throughout the basic indoctrination as part of the system called ‘education,’ I became aware of what character I had to be/ become and play in order to survive, which is how I accepted the requirement in the system to become a character as the only way to survive, because: if I didn’t do it, I would have no means to get money – and because I knew that we depend on money = I had no other option but to become part of it and in doing so, complying to each and every single rule that we’ve enslaved ourselves to wherein Life is not unconditionally supported and provide for all as equals, but is and has been instead only used as cannon fodder to win our battles upon others and make ourselves ‘great’ in our own minds, without realizing that who and what we have become in such characterization is promoting, supporting each other’s illusions/ delusions as only being ‘someone’ in our minds, in the world system, while missing out the actuality existing here at all times, covered up with this gimmicky living-reality that in no way supports life, that We have accepted and allowed as an actual prison to ourselves – and I cannot fathom how we have not realized this before.

 

Therefore, and hereby I commit myself to break the illusion, to stop my own characterization based on that complied-to character that I chose myself to be in all ways and through doing that, establishing myself as the physical which is what is tangibly here as myself, which is what I am certain of I really am – as if I don’t eat, I die – and that any other ‘idea’ that people of ‘my past’ had about myself is no longer relevant to who/ what I am here, in every moment of breath, physically.

 

I realize that all memories were only illusions and that complying to one single memory of who I am is enslaving myself and others to the same illusion. I commit myself to expose the illusion I had become through continuing writing, applying self forgiveness for the stupidity loop that we’ve been and become as this ridiculous existential fuckup that we have remained blind within until now. I understand the crucial point we’re currently living in, and that it is our decision to stop it here in every moment, breath by breathe, as we walk this process to finally break the illusion/ see behind the veil that we had covered ourselves up with in order to not face the truth that is not pretty nor is it gruesome, but only the reality and consequence that does not require to be qualified but only seen, understood and corrected as ourselves into a best for all living principle that I establish here as myself.

 

“I commit myself to show – how we have never in fact in equal and one awareness with ourselves, our beingness in our equal and one relationship with the physical/physical-body,DECIDED /directed ‘who we are’ in moments of interaction/participation with others, because our responses/experiences/relationships with others have always been dependent/created/manifested from MEMORIES as characters of our parents’ Minds within ourselves, that’s determined ‘who we are’ and ‘how/what we live’ and ‘experience’-ourselves as, as individualized characters in relation to others’ behaviour/physical-responses to/towards us in moments of physical-reality participation/interaction. Thus, we’ve constructed/created ourselves as memories/characters from memories/characters, and so have never actually in fact lived/really decided ‘who we are’ in our living, interaction and participation in existence as memories had come to control our entire mental-physical relationship from birth to who/how we are now in our entire mind-physical existence.” – Sunette Spies *

 

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Day 85: And God Created Slaves by Bernard Poolman 
“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that by AcceptingGod as the Ultimate Creator that Created All as it is, I accept and allow the Existence of Slavery in all dimensions like: Child Slavery, Debt Slavery, Sex Slavery – and that My attempt to change this Slavery while I accept God in this Position as Creation will be futile – as I, in my attempt to Stop Slavery, will be acting against my own Belief and Faith in God – and as I Gave all Power to God, I will be Powerless and thus Slavery will Not end in all its Forms, as I am the ONE that Create it through My Acceptance of God as Creator. Thus, the Decision must be clear. I am the One that Decides that Slavery must Exist, as I am the One that Decides that God must Exist, as I am the One that claims I can never understand God, as Why God Created all that is, According to God’s Will, as I am the Slave that must Exist so that God can Exist, as I am the One that Decides – and thus I must be God that Creates the Slavery, as I have my Reasons why I create Slavery, because I Can – as I am the One that Allows Me to Create a World in which Life is Not Equal For ALL – and for Slavery to Exist,Inequality Must exist – as I am the One that Created Inequality, as I vote for it in Every Election, and I vote for it every time I buy Goods Created by Slaves, Wage Slaves – this world through the Ages has been and will Be what I decide, as I am the One as the Image and Likeness of God with Free Choice that can decide Anything, even to Be the Slave or God that will decide whether slaves will Exist. Thus, I am the One that Must change theWorld to One where there are NO MORE Slaves – Meaning, I must Be the One that Cleans Up the Mess on Earth, Bringing Life Back as Myself, as Equal and One, in Each One – so that, in Fact, we are All Equal as Creators, making Sure we DO NOT FORCE each other Into Slavery, as I AM the One that Decides, as You are the One that Decides – and this is the Decision I must Make in Every Breath, as Who I Am: that which is the Change to What is Best for all, or that which is the Chains that Enslaves Myself and Everyone else to this ILL LOSING. Thus, I decide in Every Breath to be the Change that will Breath by Breath Create a Reality Where For Real All will be Equal and All Life will Be supported One and Equal, as I Give to ALL what I would Like to Receive – and thus I will Be the One that Receives, and so We as One, as we Decide and Live the Living Action of the Living Word of the Decision, will bring into Being Life in the Physical, and SO we will Be the One that is God in Every Breath, Creating the Character that Life Must Be to Be What is Best for ALL Life, Always.” – Bernard Poolman

 

Great Support to Understand this process:

 

 

Fin


It’s all About the Attitude!

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.”

‘It’s all about the attitude’ Has become quite a well known way to insert ourselves into the world system that is pretty much image driven and how getting the right looks, the right outfit and the right presentation can get you to achieve your goal in a successful manner. I also listened about this in the interview Apathy Control within the series the Soul of Money which explains this mechanism to the T, and also giving awesome perspectives on how to use the system, our skills and abilities to support ourselves/ others within a basic principle: Equality as Life to actually develop ourselves within living purpose where ALL beings can be benefited from our personal living commitment to create a system that ensures life is equally regarded and dignified for all.

However, at the moment in this world, such statements represent the Capital-I, the eye that sees and buys/ sells whatever is fulfilling a positive perspective of oneself reflected on another – or any other idea of self that is sought/ pursued within a positive view perception, all aiming at the highest target on the chart of ‘successful living’ within this world.

 

The quote reminded me of the Sex Pistols and how their success revolved around proposing an image which became the inevitable reference to Punk Rock in the 70’s, and how the image and attitude made the band ‘who they are’ as a famous act in England and the world,  as opposed to being a particularly skillful set of musicians. Their image actually became a successful advertising campaign for a clothing store that “changed its focus from retro couture to S&M-inspired “anti-fashion”, with a billing as “Specialists in rubberwear, glamourwear & stagewear” (from Wikipedia entry on Sex Pistols)

And so a trend was born: being punk – and later on any regular rockstar was ‘all about the attitude’ that would often overshadow the actual skills that such people would actually present as musicians.

What is attitude? It is an image, a presentation, a character that in such case  – and in all cases that represent ‘successful living’ depict strength, power, determination, freedom, enjoyment, certainty, dominion and a lots of glamour – all that which any regular being within the westernized world would deem as traits to aspire owning/ becoming/ living by.

 

I’m pretty sure that you’ve sometime in your life had an ‘idol’ that you can identify as a role model because of the attitude they would present as a character that You would like to be like/ become. It’s like when you ‘fall in love’ with someone and you don’t know anything about them, but you like their presentation, their attitude, their ‘flair’ and in that:  you want to own them/ possess them to become equal and one to such attitude, because: you perceive you lack such attitude/ flair yourself.

What happens with such human predictability? We’ve got a sellable item as something/ any character that YOU will surely buy as an experience that you acquire with money, within this confirming that we are in fact a consumerist driven society seeking for positive-highs through anything that can represent a ‘better idea’ of what being a human being is, something that makes you feel ‘better’ about yourself because we haven’t yet realized how every relationship that we have created with  and toward anything/ anyone in this world, Is stemming from separation, a perceived ‘lack,’ an unfulfilled state of being that has become like a damnation that seeks to be ‘complete,’ ‘fulfilled,’ and satisfied by anything that will level up the perceived positive experience into a constantly up kept status quo of well-being.

We’ve created a picture-driven world wherein characters are valued for the attitude they present.

 

We’ve got a winner

So who benefits from this human weakness to idolize, mimic and even obsess about characters such as what we get on the media about famous people/ celebrities/ rockstars/ rocket scientists/ CEO’s/ sports people and virtually anyone that is ‘above’ your regular Joe? Well, anyone that is well aware of how we tend to follow such weakness on to the grave if necessary – just to get a ‘little piece of heaven,’ and in that buy anything and anyone that will give us the same experience that we perceive such beings experiencing themselves as.

 

Ask yourself: why have we become such addicts to idolizing? Why have we become obsessed with fueling someone’s self-created masquerade of success such as presenting a single ‘attitude’ that will drive the masses crazy?

I was listening to the radio and Elvis Presley came on – a white man that got all the attitude  (and voice) to rock people’s world – literally speaking – while singing covers by Little Richard and Ray Charles. So, what sold was the image that this man had, the entire attitude that broke the paradigms of his time. Obviously and the same point we can transpose to anyone else in the music world for example, wherein they might have the attitude/ looks that sells well, but have to sing someone else’s compositions because they actually haven’t developed the skills to write their own songs.

This is just an example and analogy of what we have become as a whole: a picture driven society.

A symptom of a plastic world is where looks/ attitude sells, regardless of ‘what’s inside’ and in that, we have doomed ourselves to become perversely driven by images, attitudes wherein we know what we want, we know that we like to buy that which will make us feel at least a little bit closer to that which we aspire to become – and all of this is what makes up our current CULTure, where your success is determined by the amount of self-seeking individuals that you can attract by presenting all the attributes that you know the majority ‘lacks,’ but in fact simply haven’t allowed themselves to accept as an equal attribute themselves.

We’ve got a way to go to remove all the limitations that have lead us to ‘pay for’ entertainment and experiences, because we will learn how we can give that to ourselves without fueling an entire machinery of superficial values that have no regard to life in Equality. The entertainment system will have to implode as the real values of Life emerge within each one as the consideration that everything we have ever bought and sold has had a fake value imposed upon.

The one and only value in this world is Life.

Make sure you are Not part of this thinking pattern wherein looks is all that counts and ‘talents’ have become simply morphing into more lucrative ways to sell yourself and get the most of the cake.

 

For Self-Support to step out of any form of mind control:

Desteni 

Desteni Forum

And to support a system wherein all life will be valued as equal and No one will ever be able to/ resort to ‘sell themselves’ only by looks without developing any actual equality in expression:

Equal Money System 

 

 

Enlighten yourself about who you really are:

The Secret Energy-Consuming Machine Revealed: DAY 19

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