Tag Archives: christmas

461. Transforming Christmas Within Me

Or, how to practically change from being the Grinch to a person that actually embodies the principles of living in equality and what’s best for all in practical manners.

Ok so, Christmas passed and based on the commitment shared at the beginning of the month, I must recognize I’ve done quite good in terms of stopping my ‘usual reactions to Christmas’ over the month and being diligent in making it a point to change who I am in the midst of all things that usually go along the lines within this holiday season.

There are two judgments I can pin-point related to how I had usually seen/identified this season to be and I will be sharing then how I have done my point in changing those judgments into a supportive set of doings within myself this time around.

First thing is how I had judged the whole getting together in a halo of peace and niceness as phony, as hypocritical, as ‘false’ because it didn’t make sense to me to only have this going on once a year or whenever major tragedies happened around the world. So, here it’s interesting because a friend of my mother’s (so my friend as well) sent me a message on Christmas and said something related to how Christmas brings the best of us as human beings, all that care, love, sharing, compassion, hope and kindness. I responded to her that I can agree with that and that we should not only live this during Christmas, but extend it to our everyday reality. The same I did when she sent some words relating Christmas to Jesus’ words, so I thanked her for the message again and related it back to making those words real as ourselves, to live the words that Jesus shared in our everyday living, which she agreed to as well. That right there, me responding in a more contributory manner to those messages is already one point of change within me where before I would have probably played ‘kind’ and just thank it and within me say ‘whatever!’ but, this time I took the actual time to read and make it a point to give back that moment of attention and appreciation with a supportive note at the same time, one that reflects what I want to change within myself and be that one person that changes what I had previously defined as ‘phoniness’ or ‘hypocrisy’ that I had labeled everything positive and ‘warm’ going on around these holidays to be. I had not realized I was being ‘hypocritical’ myself around these things in the way I used to ‘care’ about the holiday, but in the back of my head always be continually judging it and being ‘fed up’ with it.

Here then, I am no longer blaming others for ‘being hypocrites’ for only behaving this way once a year and reacting to it within my own spite and ‘filtered view’, because I know people like me tend to take a higher stance in believing that we are very keen on finding everyone else’s faults, but we rarely take a moment to truly see within ourselves and how we are contributing to create the same problem we are complaining about.

So how did I change that which I had judged as phony and hypocritical into genuineness, a real care and consideration and also, an expression of myself? An example is in simple interactions that had that usual tinge of ‘it’s Christmas/near Christmas time’ and some generosity point emerged, I thanked it in a decision to be genuinely appreciating others about it, not backchatting it within my mind or judging it as before as ‘ah this is so phony, so predictable, too hypocritical, ah it’s for convenience’ and the rest of it, but instead truly embraced those moments for the expressions they are, without ‘tainting them’ with only the ‘Christmas/seasonal halo’ around it, but more like embracing those expressions in others as a an expression of who they are and can be, yes, all year round!

And interestingly enough, I have been making this a point for myself in my every day interactions with unknown people as well, no matter how petty or insignificant, to talk to others, to address others in the way that I would like to as well, not as a point of likeness/preference or convenience, but simply a truly ‘giving of myself’ through my expression, through any point of simple generosity that can come in many forms, a ‘kinder self’ indeed is what I’m developing, no longer the ‘bitter’ version of myself that acted out of that hypocritical in fact and phony kindness as per morals or ‘traditions’ but, more of a genuine enjoyment of meeting with others, of seeing family members which is definitely something quite new to me to be honest.

I used to go to all of those reunions and Christmas more within a point of obligation, which led me to simply skip it for some years in the past recent years, until this time around where I make it a point to not ‘load’ within me all the past judgments or others’ judgments on this holiday, but make it simply that getting together with family that I can enjoy, express myself in, talk to those that I want to establish communication to, contribute with something to it – like baking a cake – and giving presents that I can see are practical and supportive like health books, food supplements, basic clothing, which is quite cool in fact, nothing too fancy or extravagant really, but I actually enjoyed the decorations I made for the presents and wrapping them up, actually going out of the usual ‘red and green’ and instead using lots of colors in them, that was fun and enjoyable too.

In this, I am also able to stand ‘outside of myself’ to consider how this holiday for others is something that becomes very special, a special gathering and get together so in that, I didn’t judge it, I enjoyed the intimate reunion it was, impromptu due to particular settings we arranged it with and had a good time without any ‘excesses’ or anything like that, fine enough to come home and simply be grateful for the company, the nice foods, the talking, the sharing of some gifts and receiving of them and for all of us still being together this time around. This has been quite a change considering I had deliberately antagonized this celebration with my ‘inner war’ and conflictive reactions towards the whole setting, being uncomfortable most of the times, which yeah in way means I stood as the ‘war point’ toward it all, whereas now I could simply ‘flow’ with it yet in a directive manner because I didn’t get carried away by any sort of positivity either, but simply seeing ‘no difference’ to any other family gathering for example which means that I am already starting to expand this point of genuine expression in other times/situations as well.

The other point of judgment toward Christmas had always been consumerism. This still came up a few times in relation to the vastness of stuff that can be bought in these days, the crowded malls and supermarkets, but It was just that, an acknowledgement of ‘how things are’ and I assisted myself when facing these crowds in sharing with my partner how yes, it is crowded, yes, lots of people, yes, it’s not a weekend, it’s a regular weekday before Christmas time and I’ve decided to not react to it, which worked just fine, embracing it.

So, here in the sense of judging consumerism, I realize I can’t change others, I cannot decide what others spend their money on or change ‘their behaviors’ around this time of the year, I can only do that myself and that’s what I can rather focus on. Here has to do more with the relationship to money and realizing that sure I’d like to give a present to everyone as a means of appreciation, but sometimes that’s not possible, and it’s not something I see entirely needed either. I instead don’t focus on giving something ‘on Christmas’ only, but rather whenever I can and there’s an opportunity, giving little things here and there that I actually gift with a meaning of appreciation, of giving to others that which I know they enjoy or need – and yes here it’s definitely not focusing on ‘giving something pricey’ at all, but more like seeing how practical it is, how useful it is, how supportive it can be or how I can make it myself – and that’s how I then sort of ‘measure’ what I’d like to give because they are usually things I’d give to myself too, sometimes also considering their likes and preferences of course, but still make it a point to ‘make a statement’ with the kind of gift I give, which is overall in the means of being supportive and practically useful.

And so, in conclusion, I spent a very different Christmas season this year, and all that I required to do is make a clear and self-aware decision to change my attitude, to stop my behavior that wanted to ‘show with all of my being my refusal to be part of it’ which, in looking back, actually could have caused discomfort and reactions in others that I didn’t actually want to create, yet I became oblivious to and blind to it all because of my self-interest in ‘making a statement’, one of refusal, denial, antagonism – ah that word here again! – antagonizing everything ‘Christmas’ related.

This time, I’m focusing on integrating these new ways not only ‘this month’ but the whole year to come and this is definitely something that has been unfolding from the past last months of the year and from the very blogs I’ve been sharing on deconstructing this ‘bitter self’ or ‘pessimist self’ or ‘gloomy self’ into one that actually embodies the ways, living words that I’d like us all to live by as human beings, all year long, every day.

So! Let’s make it happen

 

Recommended audio:

Christmas – The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 73

 

Living Words

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:


Buy your holy-daze–be merry in a crisis mess

 

We have all indulged into ‘that time of the year’ wherein we asked toys to a non-existent benevolent man that could bring you and apparently “all kids” everything you wished for down your chimney – or under your door if you didn’t get to live in the stereotype of houses with the nice chimney, which now forms part of the collective ‘ideal’ of what a house should look like for Christmas purposes.  I bet you didn’t precisely ponder where, how or who created such toys, at least I didn’t at that time. Though this entire secrecy on these non invisible characters that gave stuff away to kids certainly created a dissonance within me because the whole thing didn’t match the ways of how everything else worked in the world.

I pondered how it was possible for someone to bring all of those products ‘for free’ during the night, deliver them in every single home during the hours that we would be sleeping and manage to get it all done without anyone ever noticing. I’d get anxious as hell to know how that worked, I even pondered if these guys had the ability to stop the time. A cultural clarification is that I never got stuff from ‘Santa’ because my parents told us that ‘that’ was an ‘American thing,’ so we would get our toys on January 6th by ‘the three wise men’ which is exactly the same thing really, in fact it is often counter productive as kids tend to think ‘Oh they are three so I can ask stuff to each one of them!’ Some others even got to get stuff in both dates, that’s depending on the family obviously and their ability to acquire stuff. Both points work the exact same way, making us believe that some guys could magically read our letters where we began developing our manipulation tactics telling them how ‘good’ and well-behaved we had been through the year to then feel confident enough to drop the list of the ultimate toys we had been desiring for, a list mostly influenced by all the stuff we would watch on the TV ads which are ‘surprisingly’ ubiquitous toward the end of the year, more so than any other time.

This is only part of how we have created a set of ‘unspoken agreements’ in society to create perpetual lies that sound ‘nice’ to all kids and create the dissonance of there being some ‘benevolent’ guy/guys that are able to give you toys only during this particular date of the year.

All of this sounded awfully wrong, something ‘was not right’ within this miraculous toy-delivery whenever I would see people that are living in the streets, having no food to eat, seeing kids my age selling candies in the traffic lights every day. I was not able to ‘make sense’ of some people not having a place to live or food to eat, yet having these guys in this same reality that can bring everyone all the toys you want regardless of the price – how come that they are Not supporting those in real need throughout the  year to have a decent living condition? No one could answer this to me. I grew some form of sadness around this time of the year because of that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a ‘sadness’ experience through ‘Christmas time’ because of always having pondered what would happen to poor people having no food, no ‘special warm meal,’ no proper place to stay yet many of us having our nice ‘dinners’ and giving presents to each other and being all ‘joyous’ as if everything was alright in this world.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become deliberately ‘sad’ and ‘depressed’ while growing up when pondering why poor people couldn’t enjoy a Christmas time like I did, with presents and all the food that I often wondered they could use to eat for an entire weak.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make myself ‘feel better’ by imagining that they too had a ‘cool Christmas time’ given by someone in the government and making them ‘happy’ at least once a year – this is part of the self-brainwashing in order to be able to ‘cope’ with a reality wherein millions consume the last drop of their wallets and enroll in 12 month debts just to be able to buy stuff to those that ‘they love.’

This would seriously create a dissonance in my experience and this is a point I can see I might have inherited from my father  who would react most of the times to this season as well – yet I associated and developed it mostly to becoming ‘over-sensitive’ to ‘those in need’ while everyone just shopped around the clock. I couldn’t compute the fact that what I perceived back then as a ‘majority’ could have these food binges on that day while others didn’t have anything to eat. My mother used to tell me that the government would surely supply them with a nice dinner as well – yeah right… I don’t blame her though, she did what she could to make me ‘feel better’ and get myself out of that internalization to stop over-analyzing the entire world’s situation during ‘Christmas time.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create an experience of sadness as an inner-suffering whenever I could not make ‘sense’ of this world and the inner-workings of Christmas time which was like an absolute parallel dimension that would suddenly ‘emerge’ where everyone feels ‘ happy’ and more ‘compassionate’ to one another, though never living this out throughout the rest of the year.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever participate in the ‘special atmosphere’ either through happiness as a child due to the presents I would get or sadness while growing up, creating a sulky mood within me through this time of the year, every year without considering that I was in fact participating in this separate-dimension to this reality through an emotional experience that was related to ‘the season’ without pondering my participation being equal to that of ‘happiness’ or ‘joy’ that others experience yet in the opposite direction, still participating in a self-created experience related to a time of the year called ‘Christmas.’

This year has been the most ‘stable’ I’ve been through the past years, it’s taken some time and over three Decembers to not indulge into the usual depressive state, also for some other reasons wherein people in my reality would somehow become more depressed and suicidal during these days, so I had to deal with some of that in the past during ‘these days’ – all is memory based, so this is just sharing how such memories are then imprinted and how within our minds we relate certain ‘days of the year’ for the sake of keeping our mind systems that require memories and our participation within those memories to continue ‘ruling our world.’

 

Back to consumerism

I’m glad to say I didn’t participate in this entire game of the Christmas religion-rite where you are apparently able to demonstrate to another ‘how much you care’ through giving them stuff. The very fact that we believe this is a ‘must do’ is an indicative of participating in a set of beliefs that we’ve accepted as part of ‘traditions’ and ‘culture’ in the name of consumerism, because let’s be absolutely honest here: no one really gives a fuck about Jesus in this whole shopping-binge.

Production depends on whether a certain industry has a stable amount of faithful consumers that will keep an industry running creating enough profit to ‘keep up with the business.’ We are so predictable as human beings that such ‘needs’ are created out of nowhere to cover the most insignificant aspects of a human being’s life, yet making it as attractive as possible to make it a potential commercial success. Once we become ‘hooked on’ a particular product, we make it part of our lives which means becoming regular buyers of that which we now believe ‘we require to live.’

Within this process I have simplified my consumerist traits exponentially. I was brought up in terms of being used to seeing people buying, it became part of my ‘lifestyle’ to have all of these unnecessary products for personal care or more clothes than what I actually required, buying stuff that ‘defined me’ like cd’s and books, music magazines, and lots of other regular ‘traits’ that involved buying particular items that supported ‘my personality’ which included a shit load of antiques for decorative purposes. I just took a glance at all of that stuff in the storage room here, it’s all in boxes now, useless as it always was.

Once that I started debunking my ‘personal religion’ – which I based on these products/ items – I realized how much I had become used to buying and consuming as part of my life. I have been able to become aware of in terms of simplifying to a great extent the amount of stuff I buy overall.

Consumerism is what has given continuation to this current never ending machinery of buying and selling, accumulating and wanting more at the end of the day, everything powered by cheap slave labor that is tacitly implied in most of the stuff we buy in stores.

Production of unnecessary means is part of the entire capital-thinking machine that only seeks to create profit. Does anyone really give a damn about ‘toys’ or ‘making kids happy’ about it? No, children are just easy gullible targets which make them the most vulnerable marketing-spot during the entire Santa and Christmas time. These are all convenient dates to extricate ourselves from an entire year of scarcity and limitation – savings are destined to buy food, clothes, toys, cars, appliances and virtually anything else that we can give to each other as ‘presents,’ a presentation of our compliance to the current system where ‘traditions’ are sold and maintained as social codes with extreme ease once that everyone agrees on ‘how things are’ and what this ‘season’ represents.

We have all accepted consumerism as our one religion, as the ‘true code,’ the configuration of money being the one driving force to create virtually everything in this world.  We have disregarded ourselves as human beings whenever we don’t even get to ponder ‘who makes this all happen? Who builds the shoes that I wear? Who makes the clothes? who builds this furniture? Who harvests the food I eat? Whenever we buy something, we are tacitly agreeing and participating in all the current negligible labor conditions that the majority of the products we consume are created in. 

It is unacceptable to take a single stuffed animal as something that generates such ‘warmth’ and ‘tender’ without ever pondering how it was created in the first place.

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to create a sense of ‘being happy’ with the stuff that I would get which was the moment that my ‘sadness’ and all other questions would suddenly ‘dissipate’ because I had what I had vehemently desired.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I can make people happy through buying and giving them stuff, without realizing this was just an acquired belief within this current system wherein buying stuff is a primary action to keep the enslavement rolling.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a system of consumerism wherein I have equated ‘caring for another’ to ‘buying them stuff’ and linking this to ‘feeling good’ for giving other stuff while expecting something in return as well.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to compromise myself for the sake of ‘following a tradition’ and buying stuff within ‘Christmas time’ in the past to show that I ‘cared’ for others.

 

We have to stop compromising ourselves in these type of agreements as traditions and rites wherein all that ‘goes on’ is consuming: buying, eating, drinking and any other excess that having such apparent ‘joy’ creates in a human being. I was just outside in the garden listening to how people usually just get drunk and start singing and eating and that’s their ‘Christmas time’ – path.ethic. This must stop.

There will obviously be no Christmas like we know it, everyday will be Christmas if it is usually defined as a ‘peaceful time of the year’ where everyone is loving each other and ‘forgiving’ – we’ll make that self-forgiveness, self honesty and living according to principles that can be applied every single moment that we direct ourselves to create a world that’s best for all in Equality.

I suggest you watch/ read the following stuff to get more perspectives on the points exposed here.

 

Read:

Santa’s Workshop

Watch:

CHRISTMAS EVERY DAY HOW ?

Christmas for Profit Rant and Considerations

Who Builds Your Toys? Buy your Holy-Daze 

Music:

Scary Christmas – Slave Bells are Ringing

“Santa is an Illusion” – The North Whole Crew
SO OUT THERE – This Is Why Christmas Is Bullshit!
Jedi Mind Tricks – Shadow Business


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