Tag Archives: communication

518. Learning To Listen

Yesterday there was a very cool discussion that opened up in a group chat about communication and what happens when one shares a bit ‘too much’ from the get go with a person as in talking too much in a little amount of time, as well as not listening to our interlocutor, resulting in what could be defined mostly as a one-way sharing and possibly overwhelming the person or people we’re talking with.

This topic brought me to remember a few situations where whenever I’ve found that there’s a topic that I am genuinely interested on and it gets opened up by someone I am talking to, there’s this sort of excitement in me that ‘rushes to my head’ to ‘tell all that I know about that’ in that moment – and in this ‘excitement’ that goes up to my head, I end up getting in an experience that I define as becoming ‘too intense.’

What’s this ‘intensity’ about? This is related specifically to sharing about topics that are in one way or another having to do with this process that I’m walking, with investigations or information that I’ve defined as being of my interest such as human relationships, self-improvement, world-system improvement, understanding ourselves at deeper levels of our awareness at a mind and body level – in essence the kind of topics I am usually looking at within myself and conversing about with other people on a daily basis.

Therefore, whenever I get to open up about these topics with a relatively ‘new’ person in my life for the first time, I’ve noticed how there’s this sort of excitement where the thoughts are related to having to share with them ‘as much as I can in the least amount of time’ – lol, which is definitely a flawed perception where I start speeding my speech and possibly sharing a bit too many details based on this notion of ‘sharing it all’ to a person.  Here then based on those thoughts, I am driving myself in this ‘intensity’ and ‘velocity’ to share fueled by a perception that ‘this is the one and only time I’ll ever be able to open up this subject with this person so I rather use this time wisely’.

However it is in fact a flawed perception because I’ve found that in having this perception of ‘having to rush’ or ‘use this one window of opportunity to open up these topics with this person,’ I am quite sure that at times I have ended being quite overwhelming for others, which defeats the whole purpose of communication.

This implies that I have to step down from my excitement-bandwagon whenever encountering opportunities to open up conversations about topics or subjects ‘that I like,’ so that’s a flag-point for me to be aware of.

Another one is where I notice that this excitement becomes an overall physical sensation where I invariably end up speeding up my speech and in doing so – due to the excitement and the notion of ‘time is against me’ – I try and compact large subjects by giving away the most ‘impressive details’ in order to retain the attention from the other individual in the subject, which doesn’t work at all  either, because it is actually being done from the starting point of ‘fearing that the other person will lose interest’ and in that, compromise the whole communication to ‘give away cliff hangers’ that can end up being quite confusing because of not considering how new this approach I am trying to explain can be to another person.

Now all of this experience specifically only opens up in those subjects that I am more personally interested on or that spark my curiosity in a way, which can be a point of opening up my expression with another, a ‘common ground’ if you will in things that I’ve considered being ‘my field of expertise.’ In this, my expression can become a bit too bubbly, which means that I can practice ‘cooling down’ a bit to ensure that I am not running on this ‘high’ or ‘excitement’ energy, but that I can breathe and settle in my body so that I then get back to the physical and natural pace that I can usually be at in any other kind of topics or conversations.

Whenever I see that I am getting a bit too excited or curious about a topic I am discussing with a person for the first time, I have to focus on my breathing, get back to a physical awareness of my own body so that I can ‘settle back’ in myself while also learning to listen to the other person or people in what they have to say and deliberately ‘contain’ myself whenever I want to reply too quickly or go into great depths too fast, too soon, too quickly with too much information towards the person.

Here I have to consider the context of the situation and instead of perceiving that ‘this is my last chance to talk to them about this topic,’ I can instead first get to know ‘where they’re at’ in relation to the topic or point that is being opened up, get to know them first through their words so that I can at the same time reply back with the intent of following through what they are sharing to me – and not within the attempt to ‘correct’ them or ‘lay out all the knowledge and information on that subject’ and giving it all too fast and too quick that can lead to confusion, overwhelmingness or a sense of ‘imposing’ myself towards the other person or people, which of course can lead to general communication disasters, lol.

I have to ensure that I am also slowing down in my diction in situations like these, where in my mind I am looking at the ‘whole’ construction of what I want to share and then try and speak all of that in one go to the other person, which results – yes, just like sometimes it happens in these blogs – in elongated sentences that might be difficult to grasp for another in one go, especially when introducing new concepts, ideas, considerations or perspectives that might be a bit harder to digest than any other ‘regular subject.’

So in essence, I have to let go of the ‘fears’ that are existing behind this notion of a ‘one time opportunity’ to communicate about certain topics with people, and instead be considerate of their ‘allocation’ in themselves, learn to ask more questions to see ‘where they’re at’ in relation to their awareness of that topic and share bits – instead of long threads of information – ask in a rather frequent manner if it makes sense and if it is understandable, so that if not, I can look at other ways in which I can explain the same points using different vocabulary or expressions – in essence, fine tuning my expression.

And as a last pointer here simply being more considerate to Listen to the other person, slow down at their pace of sharing, make questions that are simple to digest instead of getting ‘too deep too soon’ at a first-time approach.

At the same time, I have to practice giving little ‘doses’ of words at a time – which is very much related to me correcting old patterns of parroting knowledge and information – and instead consider what’s of real substance for another to grasp in that moment and practice on ways to simplify it, ‘cut it up’ in pieces because this facilitates understanding.

I can then ask something back to see the level of comprehension on those bits of information, then continue with sharing aspects that I have lived, practiced or applied myself, while continuing to give space for the other person to share themselves.

Here also in hearing and listening to another, I can practice being present in my body, becoming aware of ‘who they are’ in their words and stopping the inner-chatter that can be so distracting, because one ends up not ‘hearing’ the other – this means I have to stop participating in inner conversations while hearing others and stop all expectations, assumptions, disruptive or antagonistic judgments and simply focus on the words.

These are the main points I can see for now, in general a slooowing down in communication for me would be beneficial in this kind of topics, taming the ‘ego’ that can emerge as well whenever talking about certain topics that I’ve defined as ‘my interest’ and being willing to be humble in conversation with another, to learn from them, to see where they’re ‘at’ instead of me wanting to ‘change their minds’ in one go or ‘break their paradigm’ or ‘explain it all’ in ‘one go’ – lol.

Here also looking back at those moments where I became aware of all of these bits to change, it’s cool to be able to acknowledge it – otherwise, how else would I have spotted this if I hadn’t in a way ‘messed up’ in certain conversations? I’d say it was about time that I got to write about these points, so thanks to Miranda that brought it up.

Thanks for reading

 

 

 

Supportive interviews:


  1. The Power of Listening – Reptilians – Part 334


  2. The Power of Listening (Part 2) – Reptilians – Part 335

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE

Advertisements

468. The Insta-Accounting Relationship System

Or how to express when the factors may vary, but one can remain constant.

One thing I’ve noticed with more clarity lately is how my approach to meeting people has changed from a constricting, nerve-wracking way to a comfortable and freeing way. I shared a bit on that in the 466.Comfort in Communication blog – but one specific aspect I’d like to share about here is how it was before and how it is currently when it comes to my experience when meeting people.

  • Before getting to work on myself in this Desteni I Process   of walking from consciousness to self-awareness and self-responsibility, whenever I would know that I would be meeting someone, being present in a certain situation or even in that instant when you see someone that you recognize and you know that there’s going to be an approach and interaction, what I would do is immediately bring up that relationship’s history and do some insta-accounting.

What does insta-accounting mean? Sounds funny but it works this way: I would have to remember ‘where am I standing’ with this person/people as in checking

·         whether I am in ‘good terms’ or ‘not so great terms’ with them

 

·         whether they had done something ‘to me’ that I had to now be serious or edgy about toward them

 

·         whether they had caught me in an embarrassing situation before, therefore I now had to appear ashamed or redeem myself with them for that past situation in some way, or deliberately make as if ‘nothing happened here’ – which would be a very tense situation

 

·         whether I had to compensate to them by being overtly nice for something they did for me

 

·          whether I had actually ignored them in some way before, therefore now having to place extra-attention to them so as to ‘not make them feel bad’/feel ignored

 

·         whether I existed in a fear of loss toward them and so having to turn myself into ‘their favorite me’ as the ‘personality’ they liked of me the most so that they would not leave me/exchange my presence with that of someone else

 

·         whether that person knew me as the ‘cool, detached me’ or whether that person knew the more expressive, childish and comfortable me and so know ‘how to keep my act together’

 

·         whether I was supposed to use a more intellectual stance with that person or whether I was the chilled/never-mind about the world type of person with them

 

·         whether there was an attraction – or repulsion – that I had to follow through with to either create more of an attachment toward another – or the opposite, make sure they just don’t like me and ‘leave me alone’ lol

 

·         whether there is something that I had taken personally from them and so having to present myself as more detached as a means to ‘let them know they had hurt me’ or ‘I am not entirely ‘ok’ towards them’

 

·         Whether I had made excuses with them to not attend something they invited me to, and so remember to appear in a ‘recovering’ mode or ‘still weak’ about the situation…. And the list of lies and self-dishonesties probably could go on and on! Seriously, is this the way to live? No, it’s not.

And here I am talking about regular relationships. Here clarifying how it makes sense if for some reason we have to present ourselves in a particular way/stance due to job situations or particular positions in our society where things are more formal by nature, where we are required to play a particular role etc. – but even there one then becomes simply aware of having to keep a certain stance and play a particular role – but it is not coming up as a self-suppression and self-manipulation in the ways I’ve described above, where one has to keep track of all the lies and deceit – it simply becomes an understanding of having to stand as/play a particular role in a moment and doing so in self-direction.

So that was me ‘then’ and it became even hard to ‘manage me’ at times so to speak – it reminds me a bit to the character in Mrs. Doubtfire with Robin Williams where he plays the nanny and also is the father or the real ‘himself’ and there comes a moment where he gets a bit drunk in a restaurant while holding two different meetings at the same time/same place and completely forgets that he’s wearing parts of the older female character like lipstick while talking to his boss and man! It becomes a mess! because he kind of loses track of ‘who he is supposed to be’ in which moments and with whom, lol!

So, this is in fact something that happens to all of us when we create different personalities with different people – yep, ‘multiple personality disorder’ is not a sickness it’s just an escalated experience that we feed in our minds based on these ‘accountings’ that we make in our internal conversations/backchats in relation to others, where we keep our ‘accounting score’ toward people based on being in those positive, neutral or bad terms with them to accordingly modify/manipulate our behavior to suit those memories that we have to ‘load’ on our hard drive in an instant moment to then ‘act’ based on this ‘history’ that we have with a particular person. This is definitely a way in which we keep ourselves trapped in our own memories, recreating the past, having to ‘equate’ this ‘who I am’ with this/that person, in this or that situation and according to this or that other result. Ah, sounds exhausting to do, isn’t it? Because it is!

What does this ‘insta-accounting’ mechanism reveal about ourselves? Because of course it is not about ‘others’ here, but entirely about who we are within ourselves. It implies that we haven’t yet settled the ‘real me’ in ourselves, we haven’t yet let go of keeping a record or score within all our relationships according to positive or negative values, according to fears and desires or points of loss and gain – which are the ones that usually lead us to create these ‘insta-recaps’ of ‘where we left off’ when we last were with this or that person and if we should then change something in us to ‘keep the story with them going’ or not – lol.

It’s just like when one sits to catch up with a series after some time or reading a book and one has to do some insta-recap to know ‘where we left off’ and I’ve seen more clearly now how I used to that every single time without awareness toward people, it’s really an instantaneous situation where bam! the person’s presence, words, image triggers this ‘me’ within myself that I have acted or presented myself as towards them and so, I put the character on and played it out with that person – which means, this was entirely driven by following a ‘story’ an ‘idea’ of myself toward them, a set of particular interests shared with them and the rest of so-called ‘compatibility’ conditions played out in fact out of fears and suppressions.

  • So how is this insta-accounting situation within me currently? Whenever I have noticed that there’s this kind of memory-programming within me of wanting to ‘bring up the person’s file’ within me – so to speak – to kind of refresh my memory as to ‘who am I supposed to be in that moment,’ I simply realize there’s nothing to ‘bring up’ because there’s nothing to hide or fear or have a secret agenda about – therefore I just breathe, I’m here, I direct myself, I trust myself in my interaction with them, I’m here to share who I am and what is required to be/do in that moment – and express. 

It becomes simplicity in expression and it’s just how things should have always been like, that’s how it ‘feels’ like because I don’t have to keep ‘administrating’ all of these personas/characters toward this or that person, I just am me with anyone, no matter ‘who’ and this has simplified my life as well because then I don’t go keeping special interests, don’t go pretending, don’t go fearing, I don’t try and ´play nice’ or any of that, I just make it a point to express based on the moment, the situation, based on what’s needed with whoever is or ‘suddenly arrives’ into the moment – the factors and conditions may vary, but I remain constant.

Therefore I can see myself sometimes when preparing to go somewhere or when I know I’m about to meet someone, this ‘personal recap’ or ‘insta-accounting’ system wants to come up, but I see there’s actually nothing to ‘recap’ about because whatever ‘I was’ with that someone was the me that I am with myself and so with others – and whatever I had to sort out as any friction, reaction, judgment within myself then I would simply face it again to be corrected in the moment – no need to hold a ‘fear’ about it or a ‘grudge’ about it, it’s just a moment to moment presence and directive experience with others, working with correcting/aligning what comes up in me – when and if it does happen that there’s some personal-accounting to do, lol.

And another interesting one is for example when meeting someone from the past that one hasn’t seen in a long, long time and one might have had some resistances to talk to them before due to this/that situation… what has happened for the most part is that I simply don’t remember in that moment that I had to hold a particular ‘stance’ toward them for whatever reason, so I just am myself, I mean it’s like living forgiveness in the moment, toward myself and my actions and attitudes of the past and toward them if in any case it had been something that ‘they had done onto me’ or whatever – and this simplifies also a lot the way that I see relationships, where I’ve realized that I don’t need to have an entire ‘history’ with someone to create a familiarity with them either, as I had shared before. And at the same time I don’t have to ‘keep an accounting’ of how good/bad/kind/unkind or generous or not someone has been to me, it’s like every moment is new and if there’s this ‘accounting’ system that wants to kick in, I just don’t participate in it, I keep myself to the present.

It has actually been interesting how for some reason some people have for example felt ‘ashamed’ for doing/not doing something they were supposed to do/give me and I can notice it like ‘huh there’s something off in them, how so?’ and only later on them explaining how ashamed they were because of this or that situation and I’m like “ah! I didn’t even remember about it! Don’t worry” and that’s a true fact, it is like living in the moment, innocence, not holding ‘the past’ as this accounting to settle or keep scores, debts, gains or potential losses lol.

The challenging situation for currently me to develop this same stance is precisely in my personal relationship where I have still seen myself wanting to ‘demon-strate’ some ‘unsettling’ experience and then seeing that I am again ‘pulling out a face’ in an attempt to communicate something that I can instead actually share with words, instead of expecting the other person to ‘read me’ or something like that, which usually fails and it’s been marvelously shared in a recent set of very supportive audios from Eqafe.com Polarity of Resistance and being Unsettled – Atlanteans – Part 455 very recommendable and this is then where speaking words, clarifying one’s experience and getting to a solution is the way to walk it through, not to ‘hold on’ to a previous moment to determine the present accordingly if things have been talked out/sorted out.

And this I have been able to do better actually, deciding to ‘stop the grudge’ and stop the past existing within me and so going back to being unconditional in that new moment once that we have both settled the points. I was sooo used to ‘holding to a grudge’ before and embodying it entirely within me. But it’s definitely cool to live forgiveness that way toward another and make sure that one does not ‘go to bed’ as in leaving the past day unsettled, unspoken or with any experience, but lay it all out for self – and with the other if it applies – as it happens, not to procrastinate or leave it for later as it only rots and festers even when we know we will have to open it up no matter what– so, why wait?

Ok, so that became then a recap of how I used to approach people/situations in the past and currently after been walking this Desteni process of self-support to develop self awareness and self-responsibility, as well as laying out my current point to fine tune and keep challenging myself with, which I’ll certainly keep doing. 

But overall, I can only suggest to recognize how truly amazing it is to be that ‘free’ of these conditionings that we impose onto ourselves based on people, places, histories with each person, personalities and characters based on interest, fears, ideas, judgments blagh! The list may go always on – that’s not living, that’s ‘playing a character’ and that stops HERE as we step into being the directive principle in our minds, in our beingness, in our bodies and we decide to express in common sense, in self-honesty, in consideration of others, of what’s best for all and that’s the key to be able to face ‘whatever comes’ and pops up in our reality. I enjoy being able to just present myself, be myself, develop my expression, work on it when in the presence of others, get to enjoy me and continue working at the same time with the usual stuff like stopping judgments, stopping taking things personal, asking for more information when I’m uncertain of what is being said, not be afraid to ask, not be afraid to ‘compromise the other person’ because they can always then decide to express or not, to do something or not, but I make it a point to say, direct, express based on having assessed my intent, my direction in self-honesty and the principle of what’s best for all.

It might seem like this then becomes ‘a lot’ to do instead! But I assure you, it’s not, it takes more effort to be writing it all out here in this list form than actually considering all of these points in a moment when the opportunity is here. It’s been very liberating to me and at the same time, I’ve gotten feedback from people of how they like how I am just ‘myself’ and I have my own ways and expressions and they learn to embrace me in a way, even if it might seem ‘unconventional’ at times in some ways, and I think that it also has to do with my physical presentation which I’ll open up in some blog soon when the exact day comes to do so.

For now, I can only suggest to anyone to walk this process with Desteni because one can actually live life in such a different way, a nurturing way, a freeing way that we thought was impossible to do in ‘our society today’ but it’s not, challenge yourself, test these points out, see what opens up and enjoy it, it’s possible : )

Thanks for reading

 

 Mrs. Doubtfire

 

Check out these great sites for self support and self development :


466.Comfort in Communication

Or the experiences after getting rid of judgments, fears and expectations when communicating with others.

I’d like to share about how things can go when communicating with other people and having no expectations, secret agendas and judgments within oneself before, during and after doing so.

I’ve noticed for some time now how supportive it was for me to have the series of hangouts for the Living Income channel where I would set up meetings with people from around the globe to discuss with them for around 40 minutes a set of questions or topics I had prepared for them – of course them being experts or well acquainted with the topic or representing it – and it was a general great process for me – and sometimes them as well – to get past the ‘stage fright’ phase that these meetings would create in me and some of them that shared about it at the same time, where week after week it became easier every time to just connect into the hangout and suddenly be face to face with a person that I had never spoken before to in my life – most of the times – and still I was able to develop comfort in speaking with them, from greeting to getting to set the details of our conversation and during the after-hangout feedback time– all of it became easier and easier over time with practice.

Was it ‘easy’ from the get go? Nope, I mean sure nervousness existed whenever I was over-thinking and over-diving into judgments/ideas I had, for example, toward a particular person and how knowledgeable they were or how important their role is in something, or whenever I felt not so ‘grounded’ in my awareness of the topics to be discussed, but it definitely assisted me a lot to listen to the series of recordings for self-support explaining Nervousness and what it means within the context of giving public talks for example or the kind of communication I was doing for some time for the hangouts. There I learned to rather prepare well and then simply ‘doing it’, trusting myself which is easily said but it is more a process of practicing a lot, repeating the same a lot.

I noticed that the less I participated in ‘thinking too much’ beforehand about the communication in terms of judgments based on ‘values’ of being not good enough or not knowledgeable enough, or even language barrier or any sort of projected experience I’d create upon them or how they ‘seem to be’ – the less I would get an experience about it and instead I made it a point to simply face things ‘in the moment’ and not create any expectations around it, because that’s what I saw was creating the unsettling nervousness within me.

At the same time I got to practice that ability to relate to any person, no matter what their age, culture, personality was or even beliefs at times, I was able to get to a point of comfortable exchange wherein I was quite grateful for them spending some time with me in one of their rest-days – Sundays – and being willing to share their perspectives, insights or expertise on something. That way I came to genuinely develop a hope for humanity again in a way, because each one of them represented a part of me as humanity that is standing up for solutions, that is building, creating or spending their time to create something that is of benefit, of mutual benefit in one way or another to change things in our world.

But it definitely also became something beyond ‘what they do’ and I mostly enjoyed getting to know ‘strangers’ in a way that I could resonate with and have similar or the same principles as I do for the most part, based on what they work on or dedicate their free time to. And this was mostly like communicating to who they are as a being that is dedicating themselves to better themselves and others in one way or another in their reality. This was quite supportive and inspirational to me.

However, some might think: well, of course they are inspirational! You would pick them based on the topics and aspects you were interested to learn more about from them, stuff that is already geared to better life in this world! And that is right to an extent which is why the next steps of challenge has been to be able to apply this same approach with any/other kinds of people no matter what ‘background’ they have and develop such comfort in communication, in asking questions to them even if they were very personal in nature upon meeting them for 2-3 minutes as it’s happened some times, lol. How do I get to do this?

The ‘secret’ is based on giving as I’d like to receive and this is not an exchange of sorts at the beginning really, but it all has to do with the disposition I have in the moment I am in the presence of another human being that I am about to interact with even if for a few minutes only. And no, this is not only playing kindness to receive kindness in a convenient-system manner, but an actual recognition of another ‘me,’ another actual life form whom I have in fact SO much in common with even if we can be ‘worlds apart’ – apparently – when we allow ourselves to be defined by personalities, cultures, ages, education, money and the rest of ways in which we have unfortunately learned to segregate ourselves with. From kids to older people, from foreigners to extended family members, the application is the same: to share myself, to give my presence even if with ‘few words’ to in a way embody that acknowledgment of another ‘me’, and so talk to them, address them and develop an interaction that represents the way that I am with myself when being comfortable and even enjoying myself with just ‘being finally me’ which is probably easy to say really, but it’s been years and years of deconstructing my own layers of self-judgment and judgment I’d constantly hold toward others that only recently can I see has been ‘outgrown’ in me to an extent and so I have yes kind of ‘matured’ in a sense, lol, but not as I would have expected. I am in fact a lot more expressive, even playful at times if the opportunity develops to that extent.

Here in the past I had mistaken seriousness as in having a ‘stark expression’ with strangers as a way to kind of create a space for myself, out of fear really, to test the waters, to go cautiously and in doing so believing I was in control of something, when in fact, it was all based on fears that I’ve been deconstructing and letting go of – which translates in what I can describe as being more ‘here’ in the moment, no ‘script’ planned, but just trust myself that I am able to communicate with others and establish my self-comfort in it and share myself as it, no matter which situation I am in – although of course I mean there’s places and time for everything, let’s say doing this in common sense.

It is very much something I could link to the expression of a child and I had mostly been like that from early times in my life where I went on learning more ‘politesse’ ways from my parents and curbing the amount of ‘excitement’ I should show at times or not revealing too many ‘details’ about something etc. lol, I many times challenged that regardless but as I became an a-dull-t, I did become more quiet in certain situation and not being able to fully ‘be me’ because of loading all of those judgments, fears and expectations in me and so projected them toward others in the kind of thoughts like ‘oh what are they going to think about me’ which I can honestly say it is hardly something that comes up in me these days.

So how are things now in relation to this? Keeping practicing is one way, but what matters most is developing each time that ability to stand clear within me, which means having no expectations, no fears, no judgments prior, through and after a communication with others. I probably still have to keep working on the ‘after-math’ because I’ve noticed how sometimes I ponder if what I said was ‘too much’ or could have said this instead better, or approaching it that other way etc., not so much focusing on ‘how they see me’ but how I could have done things better – like after-communication backchat, which is not necessary to do in fear or judgment, but can be a constructive self-reflection about the points in terms of achieving the intent of a communication in practical manners – and if it’s merely social, then no need to judge it at all and let go of it, keep focusing on the ‘here’ and present moment and instead creating further opportunities to expand or fine tune aspects I saw I missed in the previous interaction.

I can say I am more open and comfortable in communication, embracing a bit of a child-like stance in the sense that I can speak in consideration of the situation, moment, people etc. and share stuff, ask questions, act and express myself without having internal noise about it, except when I fixate too much on another’s expression which actually only happens the most with my partner who is still a bit of a challenge for me to not dive into perceptions or projections of what I believe he is communicating with his expression – I’ve been proven several times to be actually Assuming a lot – so, in that way I still have to fine tune my ability to not attempt to ‘read’ into someone and pretend I know what they are trying to say or are experiencing, but keep it very real, physical and word-based which means, asking directly instead, getting the words through from someone instead of me jumping into assumptions or conclusions.

There’s one character in a movie that I could sort of many times relate to in a very fun manner, that’s Mozart’s character in the movie Amadeus where I many times felt like that ‘naïve’ type of personality in a grown ups world and lol, I still kind of do at times and of course not to that extent of kind of being clownish all the time or in a way to suppress other stuff either, but I’ve decided to make it a point to not opaque that spark that is in me that is very much ‘here’ and unconditional as an expression of myself, one that is not premeditated or ‘thought about’ or controlled, it’s just something that emerges the moment that I decide to stand clear, express without hidden agendas or wanting to control something or some outcome out of fears or judgments etc.… I leave all of that out of my moment and then what is here is just here, me expressing, continuing being inquisitive and not being afraid to ask questions – is up to each person to answer or not – because I enjoy getting to know people as well and kind of challenging myself every time to see that I can always find that ‘me’ in others, just by the fact that we are beings living in the same world, there’s always something ‘in common’ and that is what I kind of have integrated as my principle and starting point to not be afraid to talk to someone or address them or express myself with because, doesn’t matter how ‘little’ I can know you, I know we have a ton in common already , and that’s a great way to create comfort, familiarity if you will with basic aspects that we can all understand by the fact of being human beings.

At the same time sure, I know there’s many kinds of people I haven’t ever had the chance to talk to yet, but I’ve gotten to know several kinds of them through documentaries or through the internet as well and you can test this for yourself, there’s always going to be this ‘something’ that one can spot as the uniting factor. And that is all that I require in order to have something to communicate about which means this is a way to embrace others as myself, no matter how ‘short’ or ‘long’ term the interaction is, I definitely am practicing to make each one of those interactions a moment where I can learn something of myself, of others, of ‘something’ about this world and it becomes an enjoyable experience for me and even cooler if it becomes so for another too.

How did this topic opened up? I just had a chat with a guy that is my partner’s friend and I have gotten to know some details about his life but it was quite refreshing to meet over Skype and this time have no ‘topic’ secured – as with hangouts – to discuss about, but it was an open space for anything and all which was cool because then I applied the same point, just being ‘here’ in the moment, sharing, asking questions, being just here, sharing, comfortable, laughing, expressing – yeah also going through that point of seeing how there’s some sharings that can make the other uncomfortable, lol – but still be able to laugh about it and expand onto other subjects.

I’m in general appreciating the existence of these moments where we can connect even if living very far away, having ‘little in common’ apparently – lol – which is a fallacy really, we all have everything in common and we can always connect with one another if we so decide to do, and this is exactly what I wanted to share today, that it’s entirely up to us to be open, to be vulnerable, to embrace others in our daily interactions, to share ourselves, to give them the expression of ourselves that is most ‘pure’ in the sense of it not being contaminated with fears, judgments, expectations, desires or whatever else we can concoct in our minds, but be more like children are, innocent, in the moment, yet of course developing depth and substance in what we share at the same time with others, which in my case, my intent is to always have a background of support in any communication, of genuinely wanting to say ‘touch’ another person for a lack of better word because it’s not a ‘connection’ of sorts, but more like creating a realization of I am here, I see you, I hear you, I acknowledge you, you are part of what’s here which is all of us as life in equality, therefore, I embrace you as a part of me, let’s express.

That’s quite the way to go in developing relationships of any kind really, no matter how small or menial they can be in our everyday lives but, my take is that with this practical approach – that in fact it is more like an outflow of a lot of self-work at the same time – is the way to change our day to day interactions and so the ‘fabric of our societies’ and so of our world – and all that it takes is each, one by one, committing to develop this kind of expressions in ourselves, for ourselves first which in turn, whenever we share and are in the presence of others creates a possibility to share and nurture a moment, a situation and making of it something more substantial, more ‘living’ for a lack of a better word and this right here is an option that we all have access to cultivate in our day to day living.

All of this has been made possible for me, through myself but with the invaluable support of all the Desteni material and the Desteni I Process, which is truly a life-long set of tools that ‘arm’ you quite well to be able to not only recreate our lives but also be able to uncover our individual expressions that exist as a potential in all of us to develop and expand ourselves from.

Thanks for reading

 

Check out these great sites for self support and self development :

amadeus mozart


441. Paranoid Assumptions: How to Walk Through Them

 

This is a continuation to an aspect within myself that I had written down, disclosed and seen from many angles a couple of years ago in the entry 396. I Think, therefore I Assume but, certainly as with many other aspects and points we find within our minds, it is just not going to go away by writing it out or self-forgiving the mess made by assuming all at once. This point of ‘assuming’ which is a guessing process wherein, in my particular case, I use that uninformed ‘guess’ to jump into a conclusion about something/someone in such a fast pace that it can determine in one moment who I am going to be or how I am going to react to another person only by misunderstanding, jumping into conclusions, guessing ‘where the person is coming from’ or ‘what they are hiding’ or ‘what they are implying,’ which I must remind myself are all entirely my sole creation.

What do I mean by ‘my creation’? An assumption as I see it, is a series of thoughts that we concoct inside our minds as a reply or reaction based on some input we have, which means information from an external source. Now, upon discussing this point last night with my partner, I realized how I was kind of ‘vilifying’ the word ‘assumption’ in itself, and it is not that it is all ‘bad’ about making a guess about things, that’s Not the problem, but who we are within guessing or assuming and if one is emotionally invested into it.

So, I take his explanation to place it out here because it assisted me to see how there can be plain ‘guessing’ that comes without any personal investment onto it, like say I ‘guess’ or ‘assume’ it’s going to rain today because there’s a ton of those very gray clouds in the sky. That’s about it, a guess, an assumption based on the state of the sky in that moment. There’s an educated guess that comes from say checking out the weather forecast in more than one source – which is still not an absolute point of accuracy – and one can make an educated guess or assumption that ‘yes, it will rain because two or more sources indicate so.’ There can also be a ‘paranoid’ form of guessing where one is emotionally invested onto it, like say if I hated the rain because it ruins my possibility to go for a walk, and so if I look up at the sky and see the wind and the clouds and I immediately get flustered about it because ‘It’s going to rain, yes, and my going out will be ruined, oh god why!’ type of overwhelming reaction – exaggerated here but to get the point – is where one then creates a relationship to ‘raining’ or a particular weather as a source for personal discomfort, anger, frustration and the rest of it within oneself. This ‘paranoid guessing’ that comes from only checking up at the sky and then reacting emotionally to it, is what we usually create patterns of so that whenever I see the same colors in the sky, I don’t even bother to think further other than just jumping into the assumption that ‘my day is ruined because I won’t go for a walk, because it’s going to rain.’

Now this is a ‘light’ example so to speak, but if we transpose it to other more ‘personal’ situations like say assuming that my partner ‘would like to be with another individual he sees on the streets better than me’ based on a paranoid guess, a paranoid assumption and we don’t communicate or investigate further about it in terms of opening up ‘who he is’ within looking at another person in a particular way and so walking through that point together, one can jump into this ‘paranoid assumption mode’ that can spiral out of control into a form of paranoia, a reel of backchats within oneself that come with a tension, a fear, an anxiety of ‘them wanting to be with another instead’ or ‘I am not good enough for him so that’s why he checks others out’ or ‘I bet he’d prefer a less imposing relationship’ etc. etc. Which is something that actually has happened to me and that upon opening up this point with my partner, it was cool to realize how he understands the pattern, how automated it is as a simple ‘checking out’ which has also to do with very ingrained male programming that he simply has to be more diligent to direct if he is up for doing so. He clarified how there is no ‘intent’ in it beyond that momentary experience of ‘checking out’ for example that he had been quite conditioned to, so that will be then his point to work through and my point is to Not jump into these paranoid assumptions from one figment of reality that I take within me to react to.

 The point here is that through rather asking directly, opening up the point, there were no more ‘paranoid assumptions’ about it, but instead we can work with facts, reality checks. I got to see how in fact I was escalating the point waaay too much, which I had done before but that time in the past, I kept it quiet and building it up for some time, until I confronted it and turned out to be true in relation to these distractions, where I also shared my personal experience and process of in this case also directing myself to no longer ‘unconsciously’ seek for ‘other potential partners’ for example, no matter how ‘automated’ this had become in my case as well. So it became a point of understanding as well that it takes time and real diligence to master this point of no longer ‘deviating’ my attention once I am in a committed relationship.

So that was a long explanation, but! It was assisting for me to also see the variations of ‘assumptions’ and so here to redefine the relationship to these ‘paranoid assumptions’ where I have considered I jump into conclusions and ideas and perceptions all based entirely only on what exists within me

Here another point opens up: it means that these ‘paranoid assumptions’ are in fact  my own projection toward others, where I can be the one that hides, implies, beats around the bush or speaks from a state of reaction about things. So, I see that paranoid assuming becomes much more prevalent when – again, assuming – lol – that we all won’t just ‘say things as they are’ but implying there is always something that is kept away/aside/hidden for the sake of benefiting or protecting oneself or any other form of ego-trait that leads us to, for example, not explain ourselves entirely toward another, which can be also a practical reason in many contexts. An example is how one won’t go explaining one’s entire medical condition to someone that asks ‘how are you doing’ and even if one visibly looks not so well, let the whole clinical history out in that moment, we usually say we are ‘doing so so with x situation, but recovering’ and the other person can be ‘ok’ with the response, not lying just not giving the whole explanation, not for the sake of ‘hiding’ or anything, but for practical reasons.

These ‘paranoid assumptions’ imply the moments where I immediately ‘jump’ to ‘fill in the blanks’ coming from the starting point of already assuming that this person exists already in a constant state of seeking benefit or perpetual deception, or usually hiding something, or just blatantly lying for some reason. I can see that this can be defined as ‘lacking trust towards others’ but this is more of my own reflection as well when it comes to being aware how us humans operate in our minds  and so believing that others are lying, hiding all the time. This could be a reality, yes, but it is exactly because of this justification around ‘Everyone lies, everyone deceives, everyone is dishonest’ that I go justifying my ‘assumptions’ and qualify them as ‘real’ in no time, which has led me to jump into unbearable assumptions that mostly lead to conflictive situations, simply because of how fast I ‘made up my mind’ about something or someone without actually taking the steps to apply the ‘antidote’ to assuming: investigating, asking questions, communicating, clarifying, opening up the point with another until clarity is reached.

Why has it taken so much from me to actually ask? Because! There is a righteousness involved in assuming, in believing that ‘I am always right’ about another’s intentions, state of mind or hidden agendas, which is of course not entirely so. Sure, I mean, when we get to know how our minds operate and one becomes like a ‘mind technician’ where one is able to see the equations behind things, it does get a bit tricky to not immediately do so and assume that ‘it’s always going to work that way’ but, in reality there are lots of exceptions and I have been tested quite often based on the assumptions I have created toward my partner for example, and time and time again after jumping into assumptions and responding from my assumptions to something, and when deciding to ‘roll back’ the moment and see what steps did I ‘miss’ or ‘where did I jump into conclusions’ I realize that I in fact ‘filled in the blanks’ in my mind, even though what was said was quite clear in itself. This is the moment where I have to apply humbleness in recognizing that yes, I did assume or made it ‘more’ than what it is in my mind, which in other words is that acceptance of being wrong about my assumption and so propose a solution in that moment to my ‘mistakes’ which in this case are ‘missed-steps’ in communication.

One can also say that assuming comes from a form of control, believing that one ‘knows’ someone or knows how ‘predictable’ we all are that we immediately jump into these ideas or beliefs and believe in them, blindly so. I consider this is part of one of the greatest problems in communication in fact, where we believe we ‘know’ what another person is ‘truly about’ or ‘truly like,’ and how just by observing them, hearing their words, or misinterpreting their interactions toward ourselves or others that we can already assume/predict or magically ‘know’ exactly what they are ‘all about.’ Wrong! And we do this just because of a) not daring to actually get to know a person in reality, which means, actually communicate and truly see who are they in their words, in their life, develop a relationship with them; or b) because we believe we already ‘know the reasons’ behind anyone’s words – which is like this all knowing god-ego that we carry around in our heads – and so we apparently need ‘no more explanations’ from another because we are already in fact projecting our assumptions, our beliefs about others, so ‘why bother, if I already know it?’ type of reaction, which I could label as arrogant, conceited and egotistical of myself, however judging myself for it is of course not the solution here, at all.

I have seen myself create an entire ‘story’ of assumptions as to create a ‘why’ to something in what is called ‘quantum time’ meaning, super- fast and in that moment already reply, after seconds of hearing some version of a story, a set of words wherein I ‘assume’ that I know the real reason behind that, therefore I have the right to, for example, appear as ‘outraged’ about something even if through words I may say a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ but within an entire stance and experience within myself of apparently ‘already knowing the ‘truth’ of the matter’ and so, justifying my immediate reaction to something or someone within a particular experience. All of this is in fact one of those ‘chain reactions’ or massive paranoid assumptions that can unfold to what is most commonly known as arguments or verbal battles between people, just becomes of one or both – or more involved – going into various assumptions of what either one meant to in fact say.

 

So, first of all a point I have to continue working on is on slowing down, just today I had one of those situations where upon asking something to my partner and upon getting a very straightforward answer, I immediately went into assuming the ‘missing link’ I was already going to ‘take on’ as ‘what he implied’ but fortunately he immediately said ‘and by saying that, no, I don’t mean that I would do this/that’ which means, he added more information to prevent me from going into one of those ‘insta-assumptions’, which means that yes he’s already aware of my ‘pattern’ of jumping into these conclusions which actually have contributed to misconstrue the idea I have of him, which if I look back it actually becomes a way to continue imprisoning each other within those same judgments and ways to treat or perceive another, because we believe they ‘haven’t changed’ or ‘have been this/that way in the past’ and so not allowing another to in fact step out of ‘the past’ if I recreate it even within my paranoid assumptions. Lol, it’s been actually quite great because this way it becomes a constant point to test myself and see where I go into ‘reading between the lines’ about a situation, and when I in fact ‘burst the paranoia bubble’ and simply ask directly. So far, asking directly and to the point has dispelled a Lot of misunderstandings or paranoid assumptions on my side, which has in turn become a gift of developing communication, understanding and even trust in the sense that I then get to know where another stands in relation to something/someone and becomes an actual communication, veering towards a self-supportive approach rather than just recriminations, back and forths, quiet paranoid assumptions and the plethora of reactions that may stem from there.

Now, here I’ve used the partnership relationship as an example, but I could go on and on in the ways I assume things about almost everything, and so this is also a point for me to commit to slow down in my mind whenever wanting to ‘jump into paranoid assumptions’ and rather ask more questions, get more information, communicate more, develop a ‘getting to know’ another if I see I have held some judgment about them for some time, get to understand the ‘why’ of something, because this assists us in rather looking at potentials for solutions and change, rather than remaining escalating this paranoia which is of course not a cool way to go living at all.

Points to change or challenge oneself with when stopping paranoid assumptions? Real time application of admitting and changing one’s righteousness, sense of ‘pride’ or know-it-allness, one’s fear to communicate or open up something due to ‘fearing conflict’ for example, or ‘fearing losing’ a relationship of any kind, or just fearing breaking out of one’s bubble to communicate with another, and also very important! Once that one gets the actual facts – whether they are entirely true or not – to not go into paranoia about questioning that further information one may get when stepping out of assuming and communicating or investigating something further, like say me reacting to the realization that yes my partner was checking someone else out, lol, that would only re-wire the paranoia again. It is about in that moment talking through the points to acknowledge self responsibility in both sides – or if the other person is not aware or up for ‘self change’ then simply one’s own responsibility – to not go into further reactions or delusions, but instead then work with one’s own reactions, fears, emotions based on the responses we get, that’s one’s sole responsibility not another’s. The rest, should always be worked out, talked through with the two or more involved in the situation. That is to rectify that in fact, we can only change ourselves, we can only be an example and show to others ‘how it can be sorted out’ but, we can’t ever push another to do the same for themselves, unless they are entirely deciding to do so themselves.

Ok, some more dimensions/aspects might open up in time, but for now this has cleared up for me to see that when going into ‘paranoid assumptions’ I rather immediately communicate, speak up, investigate which means asking, confronting, walking through the fear that this might imply at times and realize that it’s just a limitation to actually see things for what they are so that we can work with ‘how things are’ in fact, and not building ‘possibilities’ or ‘ifs’ based on illusions/delusions or paranoid assumptions as uninformed guessing. This way one can instead build a solid relationship with another by understanding, by looking at solutions together rather than building up and remaining in conflicts and reactions.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Pointing back at me

 

Learn more about this and make it work for yourself!

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


437. What to Do when Feeling like an Outcast?

Here I share some practical steps to consider whenever this particular experience of feeling left out, feeling like not belonging, feeling like one is being judged by others in a particular group or environment, or that one is the ‘odd one sticking out’ etc.

 

If you’d like to have more context as to how I walked this point of ‘the outcast’ you can read the whole story I wrote some years ago of how I experienced this here: ‘The Outcast’: self-imposed tag

 

Whenever you feel like there is no ‘room’ for you somewhere, as if you simply were being ignored by others or deliberately ‘left out’ – first point is to clear oneself from these perceptions, always realizing that these are perceptions created in one’s own mind, therefore: they are not in fact real. We make them real when living out this self-rejection in fact, which means these thoughts make us want to keep quiet, remain isolated and deliberately not interacting with others, because we are in fact very occupied in our own minds building up the feeling of being the outsider, the outcast. Funny, isn’t it? We actually create our own experience and feed it through thinking. And what I’ve noticed is that if we wait for someone asking us directly to ‘come and share’ or ‘speak’ or ‘join in’ it will not happen that often

Therefore:

Instead of continuing churning the outcast character in the head, take a breath, and make a very physical and decisive step to Participate which practically means: take part in/ be a part of. How? Speak, write, let yourself be read/heard and so known. We often make the mistake of waiting for the right moment to share some perspective or point of view or simply to start the very basic point of communicating, which is also a decision one makes to interact with someone else.

Throughout these first steps, it is likely that some voices in the head of being disliked or not being welcomed, or ‘no one asking for your participation’ to come up. In this: keep on reminding yourself of these being words that one has most likely created over a long period of time in our heads, therefore they are not ‘what people really think’ or are at all disclosing the reality of the situation, they are entirely our own creation, therefore we can stop participating ‘up there’ and rather continue the physical process of writing, speaking, sharing oneself with others.

Also important to note that it is not like these judgments will go ‘easily’ or  ‘go away forever’ with just stopping them once. Nope. We have trained ourselves in our minds to continually have ‘something to say’ as in some kind of judgment, fear  that turns into an anxiety, an insecurity, a bunch of questions about ‘others’ and how they relate to us. But two things are certain: one is that these experiences have been ‘recorded’ in our mind, therefore are self created and as such we can stop participating in them; and the other point is that whatever anyone else holds as a judgment, perception, idea, belief about oneself or others, it is also entirely their creation and so their point of responsibility. This assisted me a lot to take whatever judgments or criticisms for what they are: mind perceptions that have no impact or ‘value’ toward myself, because I have by now gotten to know what I am, what I am not which means: I cannot allow another’s words to define me. Of course unless it is not a judgment and someone is giving some kind of feedback about myself that I could take into consideration as a point of self support, but that is then just that: constructive criticism that one can look further within oneself to see what can we learn from it.

 

Another point that was ‘hard to admit’ at the time is how my own ‘outcastism’ was in fact a point of superiority, waiting for people to specifically ‘ask me’ for something or ‘focus on me only’ or ‘pay only attention to me’ which is quite ludicrous because in this I am in no way being a ‘fair player’ in the interaction, but in fact demanding some special attention and care. Is this self-honest as in really applying the principle of equality where one realizes that no matter ‘who’ is speaking to, ‘where’ one is at, we are all ultimately equal at that level of humanity, therefore there is Always something that connects us, something we can talk about and relate to, just by the fact that we have the ability to communicate between each other as species. It is funny how many times we forget about this and create a wall of judgments between each other that divides us, when these ‘walls’ are in fact invisible, self created and so ‘the wall’ can be self-demolished in one single moment where one makes the directive decision of ‘I am here, I participate, I share myself, I communicate, I unconditionally become part of the moment/discussion/interaction with others. And so, what I noticed is that it feels like taking a dive into a pool where one knows it will be a bit cold, might be a bit of a fright initially, but it gets better once you are actually doing it. This in fact applies to many other things we usually fear to do.

So linked to this, in my case I had to become aware of not stepping on my ‘high horse’ and believing I could only communicate or be friends with or interact with people that were ‘at my same level’ in whatever I defined ‘that level’ to be. Therefore this means the ability to be humble and unconditional when giving these first steps of interaction. What do these words mean? Being able to talk to others or approach a point of communication without having a particular ‘agenda’ behind, a particular intent or point of personal interest that could be already ‘clouding’ one’s ability to be clear in what we want to say. This personal interest also includes those judgments where we are Only considering oneself, as if everything revolved around ‘me’ only, when in fact what I’ve found is the best way to initiate any interaction and virtually be able to approach any person and talk to them is by being very stable and quiet in oneself, and sticking to the moment: not having any ‘desire’ – therefore unconditional – behind the communication other than making it a clear decision to speak, share, communicate, write yourself in an interaction with another, scheduling meet ups with others etc.

 

These are some considerations where the focus is on the ‘what to do’ or what kind of words can one live to get out of the ‘outcast’ experience and instead ‘cast’ oneself to participate in the communication and interactions with others.

No need to ever desire to ‘be a part of’ because we are Already a part of this world, everything and everyone here. It is more like realizing that no one else is supposed to ‘make space for you’ or tell you that ‘you belong’ because that only creates an idea or experience, when in fact, there is no need for that. I’d rather suggest realizing that I am here, therefore I am part of life and this world, therefore I accept myself as that part that I am in this life and take part in co-creation by establishing communication, contact with others.

There is nothing more fulfilling in fact than deciding to step out of one’s shell and connecting with people. Nowadays, there is no excuse really because we live in the ‘era of communication’ and it is frankly a bit absurd that the ‘internet era’ and generations could become more isolated behind the gadgets that are supposed to unite us. Time to use them to do just that: to connect with each other, to share, to speak up, to unconditionally let others know who we are and what we are up to in this life, no need for ‘special’ experiences or hidden agendas in this, but rather taking it as a statement of honoring that part of life that we are and the space that we breathe as part of life, of everything that is here.

And so, because we can all learn from each other, let me know your feedback if you do apply some of these points and how you find out they work out for you. These are only some aspects I’ve applied – and continue to apply – myself whenever the ‘outcast’ or ‘feeling left out’ experience creeps in, then I decisively step in and ‘let me share me’ – lol. So, I share also the links from others that have been sharing about this topic as well, which is great because it broadens our awareness on how this particular ‘mindset’ can exist and develop within ourselves.

 

Recommend to read/listen to them:

Day 1100: Outsider
How does it work? Fostering a connection with someone

Outsiders – day 695

Day 577 – Do I not belong?
Day 39 – Feeling Like an Outcast

Life Review – The Outsider

 

Best to stop the ‘self imposed’ tag as an ‘outsider’ and instead ‘cast’ oneself into taking part of living and connecting, communicating, relating to others which is also the way we can learn so much more about ourselves, which would not be possible if one deliberately isolates oneself.

 

 

If you don't try nothing will ever happen

 

 

Learn more about this and Join in:

The Free Desteni I Process Lite course is a first platform of self-support to learn more about ourselves, our mind and understand how we can practically improve our potentials and skills.


403. How to Stop Living in Defense Mode

I have previously discussed how it is that we condition ourselves to create/put on a hard veneer in order to – let me be frank – not be fucked with/bullied/attacked by others and how this becomes like a second skin growth to actually make up for an initial experience of being vulnerable or having felt attacked by others words/actions. Here we can see how we condition each other to be constantly expecting the worst from one another, and so becoming the ‘fighters’ in the battlefield that we’ve created of our lives.

There are various reasons for this, one can be survival which is the way we have conditioned ourselves, our human nature to be guarding our own interest out of fear of others taking it away or abusing each other to get the most with the least effort etc. Another one is more related to that ‘attack’ that exists as a violent action toward one another, verbally/psychologically speaking while at the same time having the possibility to escalate to become physical as well. This is how I could see that we begin ‘corrupting’ ourselves0 when taking each others words personally, as a ‘personal attack’ and so create it in the form of bullying or ‘trollism’ as it exists now.

Here I’ll focus on a rather simply form in which I’ve noticed my own ‘defense-mode’ and what are the reasons for it. I’ve been actively participating in answering/interacting on YouTube and forums wherein I have had one of the most vivid evidences of how we can attack each other just for the sake of winning a ‘battle’ in our minds, just for the sake of ‘being right’ and making one another look like ‘an ass’ because ‘they are wrong’ and so in essence co-creating  just another virtual battlefield to breed human hatred or perpetuate the ‘Divide and Conquer’ mind frames which I initially would react to in an emotional way upon reading such denigrating, defaming,, spiteful, violent and even life threatening comments we would get on a daily basis as a result of what we publish, which is all about life in equality, living rights, what is best for everyone, etc.

So, looking back,  this is what I see as a cool ‘training ground’ when it comes to facing the REAL human nature and not only see the one I had believed in  – such as the good nature one – while being locked in my ‘home bubble’ and my limited environment with limited interactions, where I yes certainly did face bullying and backstabbing from ‘friends’ at an early age, prompting me into quite a ‘depression ‘ at the age of 7, 8 because of not being able to fathom such ‘harm’ imposed toward me from another at first, until I had the support from my mother to realize I did not have to take others words/actions personally – which was great support and led me to become rather independent from sheeple mentality while going through school. I did, however, become somewhat defensive in my personality, I could say that yes I had clear principles but a lot of it was also from the starting point of showing ‘others’ that ‘you can’t mess around with me,’ it worked to a certain extent – but what happens when that ‘veneer’ becomes ‘who you are’ and how one dictates one’s every interaction?

 

I see that the defense-mode that I am able to act out upon in one moment actually stems from acting once again based on past experiences/memories where I still place myself in such ‘defense mode’ meaning being ready to be ‘attacked’ from the moment that I, for example,  read a YouTube comment and so, instead of unconditionally reading the words that a person is placing, I already see where I can ‘find the point they are missing out on’ or what they are ‘defending’ or where they are trying to ‘prove me wrong, so that I can ‘point it out back’ and so this is something that I became used to do back in the day where we were certainly first becoming more aware of what each person implied in their words, which has been supportive nonetheless. But I see that I require to now and from here on step down from continuing that mechanism/way; this actually happened to me yesterday where I did thankfully get feedback from the person that I replied to on YouTube saying: “Marlen? I commented because you right on the money!  Thank You!”  The first word as my name with a question mark implying that they probably didn’t understand why I had replied in such a ‘harsh’ manner. And so I realized that I had come through toward him in the same old ‘attack-mode’ and ‘defense-mode’ instead of just seeing where the person is coming with the comment, what I can agree on as that’s our common ground and then expanding a bit on it without having the starting point of ‘proving him wrong’ or judging his very reply for not considering all points that I see but simply focusing on what I can do to assist and support to expand on the points brought up and create a conversation from there.

Assist and support here are the key points, not to ‘defend my point’ or ‘defend my cause’ because that’s what creates the battlefield on YouTube, but rather keeping it simple when answering back and inviting the person to continue the dialogue instead of wanting ‘them’ to ‘change’ all of a sudden toward Me and what I have to say, as that would be me as ego wanting validation/acceptance from others right away. The same point applies when I have deemed others as being ‘defensive’ toward me and so judging others as ‘being on defense mode’/being on attack-mode but it is really only me projecting my perception upon them because I’ve ‘been there/done that too.

 

So the key here is to then when and as I see myself reading comments, reading/hearing another’s words, I assist and support myself to not go into the predisposition of fighting/ attacking another based on the belief/assumption that ‘they are here to attack me first’ and so, instead allow me to read the comment/words unconditionally, without expectations or already ‘sharpening my knife’ to ‘get back at them,’ as I see that within this starting point I perpetuate the conflict and not allow myself to be really HERE with/as the words written/spoken and so be able to interact/reply back within the consideration of what I can learn from what the person is explaining, what I can learn from them, where I see that I agree upon to also reply back and letting the person know I also see that/agree with it.

This implies: Seeing where there is a point where I can share from my own realizations, self investigations and not only from knowledge and information, all of this within the consideration of placing myself in another’s shoes, taking into consideration the words in one YouTube comment, one email, one conversation and ‘walking with’ to expand on a point of cognitive dissonance, misinformation, belief, or an emotional reaction to the points explained, so that I can also point it out in a considerate non-defensive, non-attacking, non-aggressive manner which means explaining to another a point the same way I would want another to explain it to me: with patience, with humbleness and gentleness so as to be able to let the other person know that I do stand as these principles I talk about at all times, this is who I am and this is the consideration, care, gentleness and humbleness toward others that I commit myself to live by when interacting with them, so as to not come through as ‘me having the truth’ or ‘me having to be always right’ but being also willing to see my faults, my mistakes, where I reacted to another’s words and so take responsibility for such reactions myself.

 

So to not go into ‘denial’ of my actions, which is what the vlog was about in fact wherein I received such comment, here I stand directive of such point which opened up yesterday and so I am directing it here, as I see that if I want to create a world of transparency, integrity and trust, I have to be doing just that myself, seeing, realizing, understanding my mistakes, my reactions, investigate where they ‘come from,’ understand them, self forgive them and most importantly, give myself a new direction as to how I am going to be living these corrections from now on whenever I interact with another.

 

 

Self Forgiveness and Self Correction

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a predisposition of ‘having to defend myself’ when replying to YouTube Comments or replying to others’ words whether written or in a conversation, instead of realizing how I perpetuate my own memories of the past and even from my childhood of how I had to be ‘wary’ of people’s words and actions toward me, which is why I became ‘edgy’ as well, not being able to trust others and as I’ve explained before, this is not about ‘trusting others’ but rather trusting me in being able to read/hear words in stability and be able to support myself unconditionally to interact, reply back within the consideration of what is self-supportive both for ‘them’ and ‘myself’ as two or more individuals establishing a communication and settling the way to create a point of communal understanding – not fighting or ‘proving each other right/wrong’

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize how I am in fact perpetuating the current status quo in our relationships where we have focused so much on the winner/loser mentality, the ‘attacker’ and the ‘attacked,’ the bully and the bullied and where we believe that we constantly have to be ‘defending’ ourselves which can only exist if we are ‘coming from’ a starting point of ego as in seeing others as enemies, as ‘the problem,’ as ‘the ignorant ones and oneself being the ‘right one,’ through which we approach another from the vantage point of seeing another as inferior to myself and so believing that I have to ‘educate them’ with ‘what I know’ instead of being actually grateful that there are people that are still willing to reply in a comment to a YouTube video and so be able to hear/get to know what others’ perspectives on a subject and learn from it, see where we still have to ‘align’ our understanding, what are the main points where there is still a point tampering self-realization,  as well as being willing to correct ourselves if necessary and in the possible measure, being able to support and assist another to expand themselves a bit more – maybe point out some aspects they can do further investigation on, other blogs or vlogs to watch/read and so not immediately ‘showing the way out’ when the entire starting point of commenting by the other individual is to precisely establish communication and be able to continue it in the best possible way.

I realize that in our world nothing will be changing if we do not first focus on being able to get to hear /read one another, see where there is a common ground and build it from there, thus no longer existing in the ‘I’ll prove you wrong’ mentality.

 

I also realize that I have to be aware of not seeing myself as ‘the victim’ that is going to be ‘abused/attacked by others’ as in this position of victimization I then justify my ‘getting back at’ others as in ‘having to defend myself’ which is why in this world we, for example, allow the use and existence of guns, because we give into this mentality that ‘I have to protect myself, I have to be armed’ without first investigating why and what causes this abuse in the first place.

 

I realize that I have to stop projecting my past, and my ‘mind-frame’ that I had built around ‘commenting on YouTube’ as in ‘getting myself  into a battlefield’ and instead, read the comments from the starting point of being able to support myself, to learn from another, to see where I can improve my communication, identify and recognize where I wasn’t clear/what I missed and so expand through this communication instead of already wanting to ‘end’ the interaction by placing a comment that could be seen as ‘sparking up reactions’ which previously I had defined as supportive for the person to ‘face themselves’ but, we are in a different stage in our process so I now apply the point of being gentle and supportive with others, the same way that I would like a ‘stranger’ on YouTube to reply to my messages and comments as well, doing to another what I would like to be done unto in the same situation and in all cases for that matter.

 

I commit myself to use the opportunity of interacting with others either through comments on a website, on a forum, on every day conversations/interactions so that I can expand and support myself while at the same time assisting and supporting another, because it is in these seemingly ‘irrelevant’ or ‘small moments’ that actual windows of opportunity exist to ‘connect’ to others and let them also realize that there are solutions, there are people that do not fall into the usual patterns of the divide and conquer mentality, and so this is what I commit myself to living in all aspects of my everyday living and interactions with people from around the globe through the marvelous platform that the Internet is.

 

I commit myself to redirect my judgments upon others being ‘in a defense mode’ and instead be able to in such moments immediately take the point back to self and direct myself toward another in a way wherein I can apply consideration, humbleness, gentleness to place myself in their shoes so that I am able to best support them and expanding ourselves through using words or even behavior, voice tonality that indicates in stability that I am here, I hear you, I understand you, let’s clarify this/let’s expand on this/ have you considered this point about this that you mentioned here? so that it is and becomes a more ‘inviting’ way to continue interacting with another.

 

I commit myself to walk through my own ‘predisposition’ of being in this ‘defense-mode’ so that I can stand here, clear, open, available and willing to communicate and direct another’s questions and sometimes even curiosity and not fall into the ‘attacking-mode’ but to genuinely be able to consider their starting point and so walk-with, instead of walking-against others.

 

I commit my self to live the realization that ‘the enemy’ is really myself and my own assumption, my own mind, my own projections which means that in practicality I am then going to be open to read/hear words without going into reaction, without already ‘preparing’ my artillery to shoot with a barrage of points that have nothing to do with what was initially said either, but to also keep it simple and ‘grow’ the conversation from there.

 

I commit myself to only reply to comments/written and spoken interactions when I have given myself a ‘moment of clarity’ which means when I have breathed and ensured that I am in fact stable, here, that I am taking responsibility for my initial reactions or starting point toward another, and so be more open, willing and available for genuine communication, ensuring I have no interference/noise as my own reactions preventing me from hearing/reading another unconditionally.

 

I commit myself to ‘take back to self’ any judgments I may had toward ‘others’ as ‘them being the attackers’ or ‘them being in a defense-mode’ as in fact, that would mean me reacting in ego towards ego – lol – so the best way to interact with another is to work with the common sense of looking at words themselves, no assumptions, rather asking what they in fact mean if the point is not clear, but generally not jumping into assumptions, not taking my own knowledge, my own ego into consideration when interacting with others, as that’s where the shifts happen and the divide and conquer mentality is re-created, wherein I perceive that another is ‘not the same as myself’ and so I have to ‘prove them wrong’ according to me, which is where the problem exists.

So I instead commit myself to focus on directing the words, the comments, the situation for what it is, devoid of past grudges, preconditioning, preprogramming of ‘how I deal with others that I perceive are attacking me’ as I then live the realization that the ‘attack’ only exists in my mind as memories and experiences that I create when I take another’s words personally or as ‘going against me’ which is the ego-starting point of reading/hearing another, when we ‘take it personally’ instead of realizing that each one’s words relate to oneself only, and so I take self-responsibility.

 

I commit myself to in fact become a pillar of support for myself and others which means I cannot judge, I cannot avoid another or see them as ‘less than myself’ or as ‘ignorant’ but instead assist and support myself and others to transcend such limitations of the mind to work with what we have as our statements, see what we can agree upon and expand it from there, as Self Support.

 

So instead I am grateful that this point opened up so I could see what I was doing in this interaction and so be able to give it direction here for once and for all – so, thanks Tyler.

 

7.      Living the Principle of Self Awareness – to be aware, to see, to recognize my own thoughts and Mind, to be self honest to the extent where I can take responsibility for when I see my thoughts / Mind is not what is best for me / others and commit to immediately take responsibility and change for myself and so for others

The Desteni of Living – My Declaration of Principle

 

 

To learn more about taking responsibility for one’s mind, one’s reactions, please visit the following sites and join us in our endeavor too:


400. How to Best Contribute to Each Other’s Lives?

 

How many times do we actually wake up considering: How am I going to support myself and others today? Well, I bet not as often as we in fact should, yet if we all began applying such starting point for ourselves as part of ‘who we are/what we do’ in our day to day living, we would have an actual genuine revolution from the moment that the benefits of coexisting within such principle would most likely create as a result of it doing just that: a world that is best for everyone.

 

Today I did the usual when going out for walk while going through various grocery stores buying my food and then I went to the place that I’ve been going to lately to get my ‘special recipe’ vegetables and nuts drink. I buy it at a relatively new small restaurant run by a family serving mostly what is called ‘healthy foods.’ I made the decision from the moment I saw it open that I would go there and ask them if I could get my ‘custom made’ juice, which they agreed to, and I simply saw that they were affable and asked them how long they had been running their business etc. the basics to get to know more about them as I kind of knew I would be going there quite often.

It’s cool when you find a place where you can ask for ‘your drink’ being it so that I do not fancy bars or alcohol any longer to have ‘such experience’ but instead I go get my ‘healthy drink’ from there lol here. Throughout this past month when going there I would briefly chit chat the usual here and there about the weather and how their business was doing and some recipes etc. Though today casually just one month after first meeting them, we kind of went through the barrier of just being the customer/service provider relationship so to speak and this happened in a rather casual way, but certainly it was all based on Me taking the decision to just express in a moment.

 

So they usually have their younger kids there and one of the girls had a knot in her hair and not enjoying her mother disentangling it. In that moment I simply expressed to them how that seemed such a ‘past story’ to me since I would also get very big knots at times and how I no longer have to be worrying about that – lol – so it seems that was me opening a door to say ‘more’ than the usual and specially related to me not having hair, they finally felt probably more at ease to ask me about my no-hair style and so yes I explained it was entirely my decision and explained some of the reasons why I do it – comfort, a decision I took in a moment of my life to stand up what’s best for me, for life and to live that support for myself – and obviously the benefit that comes with it when it comes to time, care etc.  So the man/ father then asked me what is it that I did/ what do I dedicate myself to since he and his wife had been curious about me, probably because of the no-hair or who knows but I ended up sharing what I dedicate my self to in terms of being a supporter of human development to integrate living principles that aren’t taught in schools and that are very much required in this world if we really want to change it, while applying them myself and in essence being ‘rattling the cages of the caged’ which I came to understand for a while now that that was the point in my life to be and do as well to instigate for those that can hear to also consider what’s possible in our world-life if we all start considering each other as equals and do to another as we would like to be done onto.

I explained to them how I studied visual arts having an idea of maybe hitting the ‘good life’ and becoming some kind of an artist/star and be able to influence others to ‘change the world,’ but then one year into my career I found this organization and people around the world that completely changed my life and so I had to ask myself what I saw as a priority when it comes to my life, what I wanted to spend my time on: either creating artworks or dedicating myself to my own creation, to straighten/align myself so that I could be and become an example of what genuine change implies in practical manners in this world. I chose the latter, and yes it came with the ‘breakdown’ of myself as my ego, my desires which I absolutely personally took the decision do in my life. And here just for clarification purposes, no I am not saying that ‘to walk this process you need to give up ‘your life’’ or what you desire to do, this is just what I saw was pertinent in my case.

From the moment I encounter the Desteni material it didn’t take long for me to think these exact same words ‘I want to work with them’ and from that moment on I simply applied myself to support with what I could at the time, transcribing material, studying it and getting to read more and more of the forum. I knew I was going to be ‘in it’ for life and so when I came to decide what I wanted to be doing, the decision was easier as I had also realized the starting point of my career pretty much based on the creation of my ego with no real foundation, so I didn’t quit, I walked it through but certainly realizing that my point in this life is to apply myself in this process of self change and be directly a point of support for others, which in this process it means living and applying the words I preach so to speak, being an example that I can see for and within myself I would like others to consider as a possibility and potential that exists within us all – not ‘as me’ but as the process of self-change and its possibilities when applied by each one of us individuals around the world.

I’ve pushed myself to take these points of responsibility throughout time, walking slowly but surely throughout a series of insecurities, denials of my potential, believing that ‘others could do it better’ and that I wasn’t ‘ready enough’ and certainly this is not something you are immediately ‘ready-for,’ it takes time and self-application, consistency, dedication but mostly to remain self-honest within the starting point of supporting others which means: I support others within the realization that in doing this, I am supporting myself too, not to ‘be better than’ but to empower each other equally, which is the first point I see is necessary if we ever truly want to live the actual ‘power for the people.’

So I shared all of this to the couple that runs the natural foods restaurant and so upon this, I usually do say to everyone that asks and is interested in it, that I am here if they would like to ever share something, get some perspectives as ‘that’s my job’ so to speak.And they did, they shared how one of their sons is quite analytical and critical about society, but is growing more and more angry and frustrated for not knowing ‘what to do’ to ‘change the world so to speak.’ And of course, I said I’ve been there, done that myself and so how I am available if they see it would be cool to have a chat with him. I consider that there is nothing more ‘rewarding’ than being able to communicate with other individuals at this level, with such ease, such openness and all of it formed by a series of decisions I made to also frequent buying there as I do truly appreciate the fact that they have decent prices, quality products and are a family running it, not a large corporation having people doing it for them.  I appreciate someone that can make a living by selling and promoting supportive and healthy food to eat than someone earning millions being a corporate manager in Mcmeals Inc., not to diminish them, it’s simply being rather self-aware of the support required in our foods and this business run by the couple/family is the kind of businesses I would like to see more often as well for the betterment of our eating habits too.

Anyways to not make the whole deal long, it was also very interesting how as I started sharing how I not only dedicate myself to this process of supporting myself and others but investigating solutions for the world system as well. So, the guy said how he had been pondering Why does royalty exist? And yes, now we have something to thank for to the abdicated royal in Spain, having people questioning the existence of ‘royals.’ So I shared a bit on the history of that and we continued talking about the corruption in government, the pedophilia that runs in our government – which is quite well known unlike other places – the freemasons, the elite schools, the standardization of education, pop culture, Disney and the indoctrination of little boys and girls into an early sexualization, the disruption of families, parenting, oh yes parenting which is the main point that we discussed and how important it is also to become an example to the children, and how their very own relationship will become the ‘model’ or example for their children to recreate and how every word, every action mattered when it comes to being the example. 

The point that worried them the most is not knowing what to exactly do with one of their sons and I explained how I have walked that road exactly. I was highly, highly critical about the world around me – always looking at everything with disgust, even hatred when it came to the church, politics and every other rich person I saw as a culprit for ‘where we are now.’ In essence, I was always blaming  ‘everyone’ in a position of ‘power’ around me instead of actually realizing I was going to get myself nowhere if I remained in such antagonistic stance. This remained like that until I started realizing the ‘role’ I was playing as in wanting change and wanting to get it done outside of myself – but never really consider it was me that had to become such example myself, within myself first.

The revolutionary thing within Desteni is that we become the actual living proof of what changing your life actually in fact means/implies and ‘looks like’ – obviously not physically but practically speaking of. As I’ve said some other times before, who knows where I would have been right now if I had continued trying to evade my reality and evolving my ego… I am so glad I stopped myself from going literally down that path as I’ve seen in others where it took them and I am certainly in no way regretting the choices I’ve made when they’ve been made in order to support myself. At first it does seem like a ‘big change’ and as these guys said as well, it IS rather difficult to change oneself and also how to live in a society where you have to ‘swim against the tide.’ I explained that certainly at first it was quite a ‘tough time’ but how now it is simply who I am and what I do/live by now and so it’s not any longer something ‘separate’ from me but who I am, it’s become ‘natural’ in a way, which they also confirmed when they explained their perception of myself, including my rather ‘non usual’ look lol. Of course this is not the ‘absolute’ but certainly I do have to be able to recognize that I experience myself mostly stable and that any point that ‘makes me feel uneasy’ it’s just something I cannot stand for that long, I simply start investigating what I did, said, read, didn’t do or felt about something/someone and so see it for what it is. So this means that I no longer can experience myself in a constant ‘state’ or ‘experience’ for that long as I used to before, because now I do direct myself to sort myself out/ to align myself, just because it is so easy to notice when something ‘rocks my waters’ so to speak, and so yes this general stability is what I also see is more of a physical presence that I can then decide to express I an certain manner to interact with others.

I shared with them that a great benefit from this process is how one ‘gains’ stability, recognizes one’s own ability to change, develops ones own potential, breaks through any pre-determined/limited ideas of ‘what I should be and do as I then focus on my own expansion, breaking through the patterns of the past which have gotten us to the point we are living in now: absolute enslavement as there is really no other word to describe it. We’ve always been slaves in fact, but now it’s just less covered by nicely painted facades.

 

One aspect that they mentioned about their son which I also can relate to relate to, is how the ideals of a ‘better life’ are created like for example pondering the American or European living standards as ‘the best’ – this is obviously coming from us living in Mexico. I remember this very well too, I used to – believe it or not – also ponder America as this ‘great place’ for some 7 years in my life and dreaming about going there, as well as Germany.  I got rather confused at seeing the evil behind such perceived ‘beauty’ and the kind of ‘art’ that was in fact existent there which was all created based on ideas about power, abuse, gods, reptiles, death and everything that can mean the reverse of life and most likely done by slave-labor work for the ‘less fortunate ones’, so I also then shared how I had to debunk my own ‘ideals’ of what a ‘good life’ currently means and seeing how it was in fact constructed upon, which led me to debunk my delusions of grandeur when it comes to understanding a ‘first world nation’ and instead, being able to understand a ‘first world nation’ in reverse when it comes to measuring this world in self-honesty: the richest are the most abusive, and so I could no longer revere and ‘admire’ any form of royalty, power, exuberance and so-called progress. It’s all been based on abuse so that is there to actually admire there? I certainly got my own understanding on this later in this process when getting to understand the actuality of ‘first world countries’ and the most ‘powerful currencies’ around the world, which I could only then make sense of through this ingrained pattern and program to seek for power, seek for more, seek to dominate and control, just for the sake of the experience thereof. This is the human nature that we have existed as thus far which is the same human nature that can be changed if we actually want to see a change in this world.

What I shared with these guys was in a considerate manner, not just ‘spilling the beans’ for the sake of it, but seeing how much they were also ‘willing’ to hear based on their questions, what they were interested in getting to know about and so we probably talked about over 2 hours which I had never thought of doing and opening points ‘that far’ with people that I do‘not know’ from other relatives or friends of friends type of situation, which is rather cool because this is what we can probably do more often as well, opening up with the people we ‘buy’ things from or that are in our neighborhoods and besides supporting them with spending our money there – instead of buying some crappy food for some Mr. McRich, I rather support local small businesses that sell quality healthy food and earn a decent living by doing their meals with the necessary care that they also eat from.

Now this is what I support as well when it comes to buying that which others also sell with the intention of selling something that is beneficial for ourselves, and it is also nice to be able to now open up with them and see how cool It is to see that they are actually quite ‘open minded’ as well and receptive to living principles which they already have to a certain extent so, I’m glad and more than willing to support others that are open and willing to support themselves too – this is what I am here for, this is what I could say I was ‘born’ to do and it’s a rather rewarding and enjoyable too when I can talk to people at length about this, and being genuinely interested because it is in fact what we can all relate to as well, it is what ‘we do’ as human beings. So there’s really No excuse to not have a topic of conversation with any human being, regardless of them being willing to ‘hear and apply it for themselves’ or not. I’ve realized that my point is not to ‘show others’ but to simply live this for myself and so instead have people then asking opening up as I have made the first move to ‘open up’ until one gets to this point in a conversation of  asking for perspectives or wanting to know ‘what I think about…’ and so through sharing perspectives already being opening further points for others to consider too. In the end they were quite grateful for the chat and it’s these moments that certainly can make a greater impact into each other’s lives.

 

A process I can also share of is the one with my parents who actually are quite supportive of myself and my process, being aware of what I do, what I research about myself, the world system etc. Before I was not able to talk to them for a long time. I treated them as ‘my parents’ and so kept the relationship at distance after having had the typical troubled teenage years of getting to dislike them because of them not approving of my friends/relationships and so gathering a certain amount of resentment to which I then started to ‘rebel against’ never realizing it was all done to myself any ways – which I of course came to realize through walking Mind Constructs.
So after all these years of also getting them used to me calling them by their name, we’ve gotten to  have a cool communication where I can keep seeing and identifying my own experiences toward them, any reactions or such – but mostly I keep looking within myself to see where I can spot my own patterns in them and so whenever I can, assist and support them to to open up and see what is is that might be occupying their
mind
, that is bothering them etc. I have also then been able to learn from them, get to know more about their childhood, how their parents treated them, their own relationships with their parents, their ‘fuckups’ and so forth – I mean it has been quite a healthy process too whereas before I would simply not even talk to them about topics I thought they weren’t interested too. So I also should say that it took a process as well, because the first time I stalked lol ‘talked’ to them about Desteni, my father got so annoyed about me just blurting this information out that he told me he didn’t want to hear anything about it any longer, which I then at such incipient time in my process took it very personal and secluded myself from everyone and everything, something that I recommend Not doing and if I can prevent anyone from doing so, please take it into consideration. We cannot just think that by shutting all our relationships we will ‘walk process better’ – it’s in fact the opposite.

 

So after all these  years I’ve been able to genuinely say ‘I enjoy going out with my parents’ and having them be opening up as well to everything I have to share while also joking about their own reactions and seeing ‘where it comes from’ and identifying each other’s patterns based on how I am in fact ‘their copy’ lol. So, that’s something I have certainly also seen as my point of extending support to others too, who are also the beings that brought me into this world so it is cool to be able to support them back this way, even to the point of getting to talk more about this process with some of their friends, which was also cool and another point of ‘extending the support onto others’ that want to support themselves too.

 

I have also lived by the principle of assisting others the way I would like to be supported. I have been participating in forums, writing, public online discussions, assisting people on a one on one basis within the Desteni I Process where through discussing about this reality we can get to support each other to realize points we hadn’t realized yet, and that’s also what’s so valuable about places like YouTube too, where everyone can publish anything as a statement of ‘this is my contribution to the world’ – I am  thankful for everyone that has made videos, documentaries, vlogs and discussions on points that I have learned from and beginning to apply for myself. Gee, who would I be/would we be without the internet and YouTube?  probably a more intricate evolved model of slaves.

 

Ok, so, I share this day as a glimpse of how through walking this process of self-support one can also open one’s door to share, communicate with others based on the sheer fact of being human beings and speaking the same language in this case. It certainly does create an opening to have people become aware of ways they can support themselves, but it’s not a necessity either. I can speak to people that believe in positive thinking, magic, gods or else and still have a point to communicate about where I simply share my considerations and perspectives about any topic and so through that then open up points that others can decide to further communicate about or not –the point is then not about ‘them hearing’ but me being able to share  with others regardless of ‘their intention’ or else. It’s all about who I am when sharing with others, having the principle before all and have no hidden agendas either  – being frank yet also cautious as to not attack or say something that they can be reactive toward, so measuring my words according to what they also go opening up for themselves.

 

This is then a series of examples that I can tell I have applied to when it comes to the following principle:

 

With taking responsibility for myself, becoming aware of myself – take responsibility and become aware of others in my life, to assist and support them as I am assisting and supporting myself – to give as I would like to receive and do the extra bit every day to see where I can contribute to other’s lives and so my own

 

I can self-honestly say that that ‘extra bit’ every day is not yet fully here as myself, so I do have to see where I can generate more ‘openings’ where I expand and actually establish communication with others, instead of expecting people to just ‘knock on my door’ so to speak.

If all of us did this, we would start seeing how our lives get a new meaning from – as an example but not limited to –  strictly mercantile relationships to actually seeing each other as human beings, for example – and actually considered as a genuine source of change and support. , as it would be then us straightening the very relationships I have toward others.

 

In this case it’s very simple, a certain gratefulness emerges as I have now also ‘offered’ to support them and share with them from ‘what I do’ as they also then provide me a service that I am also quite thankful of based on what they do, how they do it and the care and quality to it. Now imagine how things can be in this world if we all give the best of ourselves to each other – why waiting for freaking ‘holidays’ for spreading some phony idea of ‘love’ and ‘brotherhood’ when  every single day could be a holiday  if we all put in our ‘little grain’ or seed to make our lives be improved for all parties involved. Well, it is not a fantasy to say: things would change for the better, as it can be in fact be done in reality within the seemingly ‘small’ points, but one thing is certain: we cannot fully measure ‘what will emerge’ from these moments, all that we can know is that it is one little step for oneself, but possibly a huge one for man to get to be kind again.

 

So: How to best contribute to each other’s lives? By living the principle of first stabilizing and supporting myself to genuinely be able to say ‘I support you the way I would like to be supported in self honesty’ which means in consideration of you and I being in fact equal and one and aiming to live in a way that is best for all.

 

 

 

Thanks to everyone  at the Farm in South Africa, from where I  learned and got to apply these living principles for the first time among a group of people.

 

Learn more about how to Live by Principle and  become part of the support-structure required in a world that’s going through a massive wake-up call

 

 


320. Economic Power in Equal Money Capitalism

It is a blatant imaginary system imposed onto physical reality, that’s what money is: a mind creation that represents the relationships of power and abuse that we created in order to have more than others, and use others to do the work for ourselves. This is a mind problem that has become our current economic system backed up by the necessary political powers to make it ‘real,’ when it is absolutely not so. It is our creation, and it is our responsibility.

 

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

308. Might Makes Right: CapitalismUS

 

 

Problem                                                                             

What is economic power?

The power wielded by a businessmen is the power to create wealth through production, and trade. In regards to trade in a free market, a businessmen can only entice you to do his bidding, by offering you something that you judge to be of equal or greater value in return as judged of your own free-will. His power is the power of persuasion: the power to appeal to one’s mind. Such power is derived by creating value–such as when Bill Gates (Microsoft) creates better products at lower prices. The businessman’s spiritual tool is the mind–and its material counterpart–is the dollar.

http://capitalism.org/category/power/

 

A fundamental building block in our consciousness is the notion of and belief of power endowed to money and the ‘benefits’ that come with it, which makes of money and end in itself and with this, Power became a disease in the human mind wherein our ‘creative powers’ have built an entire fixed system where by ‘the way the system works’ we justify  abuse, control, subjugation  and the ability to decide upon others according to and directly proportional to the amount of wealth/ economic power individuals have, created by the necessary deceptive means as implied in the quote above.

I quote Bernard Poolman:

 

“There is No Morality. There is No Self Honesty. There’s No Consideration. There can be No Trust. You have No Integrity. There Can be No Integrity with the Current System. You Cannot Live within the System, with Integrity. It is Not Possible. You Have to Change it to What is Best for All, but…Will you? Not Really, because – you Can’t: “you’ll ‘Lose too much’”, you See – because you’re already Possessed too much. That’s the Demon within you – your Possessions: “I am Possessed by what I have, I can’t give it up – therefore, I can’t Share, I can’t Give as I would like to Receive, because I already HAVE.” – Encryption, encryption, encryption…Backchat, backchat, backchat – Self-Righteous, Justified.”

 

  • This belief and justification of such Economic Power decides who stands at the top of the pyramid, who lives and who dies, who must live a life enslaved to a job to ‘make enough money to go by’ and who will be more focused on how to capitalize such wealth, which is in essence the disease of greed and power.

 

  • Money was created to fix a very simple problem: how to create a medium of exchange that could give a value to two or more different things that were going to be traded, which is also entailing the requirement for a unit of account. Money is a convenient tool to exchange goods and services in a common unit.  The exchange rate came into the picture later on, which is in itself a relationship of Power between Nations and ‘monetary authorities,’ which is the hegemonic structure where abuse was installed.

 

  • It is a Store of Value which enabled individuals to convert perishables into more durable goods – right, but it became a lot more than this since the amount of ‘durability’ that wealth has is more than just a mere practical form to secure your earnings, it has become an addiction in itself where earning more, having more, wanting more has overruled any form of common sense in an individual that ‘tastes the glory of power’ and becomes entrenched with the right of ‘pursuing happiness’ to do so, which is openly acceptable in our dog-eat-dog capitalist ideology and world.  So ‘Storing Value’ as money transformed into ourselves becoming and embodying such Amount of money that we have and call it ‘our wealth,’ our ‘power’ and justify it as our Lifestyle and Right to Be Happy.

 

  • These are the very basic functions you’ll find Money exists for – so, how was it become our God  and who has decided that only a few could really enjoy the ‘powers’ of it when having more than enough to do those basic trading operations? Well, it became a way to Control and Accumulate Money in itself as a form of Power/Control over others, this is through our own accepted and allowed ‘Authorities’ that are able to decide the Value of a currency in comparison to others, which reflects what we currently call our first and third world countries, there’s also the process of fixing prices and the rest has been explained where these regulations provide all the necessary legal means to make the most profit without any form of responsibility toward everyone involved in the creation of such Money as Value that became a Power/wealth in itself for some.

 

  • By becoming a monetary authority, states can manipulate “the Forces” that determine price levels and international capital flows. This is what creates the ever justifiable ‘monetary policy autonomy’ between nations, and this is what moves the world as we know it. A single authoritarian decision to create value systems that benefit some, neglect the majority and is perpetuated through legal means – this is where such ‘Economic Power’ resides, Not the Individual.

 

  • The greater concentration of this power, the better and our hegemonic system flourishes every time that we buy and consume from the Multinational Corporations and Enterprises that have become the real hegemons in our world system. It is this desire for Power that currently sets the ‘regulations’ and policies that are tailored to suit the interests of those that already hold the power, this is thus not a problem of ‘the System’ only, but of Human Nature existing in such cynical manner where No regard toward Life is existent, but we all Feed the machine through our very own desires to also have such power, so there’s no one to blame for other than our very own mind-mechanisms that have created money as a means to abuse in itself.

 

  • The main problem is conceiving this power as ‘good’ and ‘great’ and ‘your right to property, liberty and happiness’ instead of looking at the consequences that such mechanisms are creating in our world. The imposition of currency values as Exchange Rates determine which country dominates another through trade where the motive is self interest and greed, why has there been no motivation to create a single currency? Because there would be no benefit in that, there would be no acceptance from equal currencies to accept another country’s capital to buy cheaper labor to then ship the goods to be sold at a higher price abroad, isn’t it? Slavery, famine, homelessness, debts, lack of health, subordination, immigration, and any other form of abuse and slavery is accepted and allowed by this hegemonic system we’ve all complied to, a single VALUE we believe is real and ‘just’ by the means it was proclaimed to be so.

 

So, how to Equalize this Economic Power within our current system?

 

Solution                                                                             

  • The key begins within the individual realizing that this current system of  abuse called our monetary policies, economic system and the executives behind it must cease to exist as they do now, that implies a reform through political means – democracy is the way to implement a new political and economical system that actually restores to money its very basic functionality of being a medium of exchange, a unit of value and account – and that it serves to enable people to buy goods and services according to the amount of money earned through the labor they support the system with, it is thus a giving and receiving motion wherein there will be no ability to abuse, since Equal Profit share means that no matter what position you are in within the system, you get equal amount of money from the total profit made by the business/ corporation, and the same in any other governmental dependency, charge, service that you give outside of a main organization.

 

  • The Value of Money will be life in itself, no longer someone’s desire to win more in Wall Street or exploiting ‘Free Trade’ in third world countries. It is and will be a functional tool that enables us to distribute life to all people that contribute to participate in the system, co-creating a sustainability that everyone can benefit from.

 

  • One currency would be the most practical of course since our Exchange Rate Regimes are only created out of the relationships of power an inequality that are currently accepted in our world-system. However we will only see how Currency exists –  for further reference on currency, read:  ¿What will be the Currency in an Equal Money System?

 

 

 

Rewards                                                                             

  • The definition of Wealth will be an actual integrity of man willing to give and receive in equality, where money is the meaning of a generosity and appreciation for what we do to maintain and sustain a world system that is supporting each other equally. Appreciation means a-without price-  it is recognizing the value of our own work for the benefit and convenience it provides for us all.

 

  • There will be no more concentration of power since all profit will have to be immediately distributed to everyone in an equal manner. This is the end of corporatocracies, poverty, the elite, wars, imperialism, the have not’s, the middle class and third world countries – everyone will have access to the most dignified manner of living we are able to construct/ build and create for each other, as Equals.

 

  • Any desire for greed or power would be treated as a mental disease which will surely a security measure o ensure no human being is every again wanting to hoard any form of ‘economic power’ in the name of self interest.

 

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

 

Matti

Artwork by Matti Freeman

Youtube:
http://youtube.com/mattifreeman1
http://youtube.com/matterfreemantv

Blogs:
http://www.matterfreeman.blogspot.com/
http://equalmoneyendspoverty.blogspot.com/
http://mattifreeman.blogspot.com/

 

Blogs

 

Vlogs:


319. Political Power in Equal Money Capitalism

It is only in our inability to take responsibility for our own desires to have more than others, to be ‘powerful’ and abusive that we’ve created a tyrannical system that represents our true nature – and then we simply victimized ourselves about it. Power can only exist in Equality and that cancels out the current abusive definition thereof.

 

Continuing from:

307. CapitalismUS: Pursuit of Happiness

 

Problem                                                                             

 

What is political power?

The power of a bureaucrat of a statist society is the power of fear — the power to initiate force. He can force you to do his bidding by legally threatening your life and freedom. Such power is derived by destroying, or threatening to destroy values — such as when your local IRS man confiscates your home for not paying your taxes, or the DOJ threatens you with a jail sentence for being too successful.
– capitalism.org

 

  • Government holds the power to act and should be at all times directed toward the benefit of all. However, this is not so. In capitalism.org’s definition based on Ayn Rand’s capitalist philosophy, we can agree that eviction over the inability to pay taxes is rather a violent act without any form of investigation of why such money is not being paid. This is usually done by legal means, and if not, by force – however, what about the businesses and corporations that are becoming the real decision makers in terms of throwing people out of their homes: is it a legislator or a bank that does so, and is a bank part of the government or an corporation that is a pillar of our Free Market world?

  • It is easy to side view the responsibility that corporations currently hold toward society, because they have more power than the government,  yet are Not regulated by the same democratic means as a government does.

More on this:

A unilateral breach of contract involves an indirect use of physical force: it consists, in essence, of one man receiving the material values, goods or services of another, then refusing to pay for them and thus keeping them by force (by mere physical possession), not by right—i.e., keeping them without the consent of their owner. Fraud involves a similarly indirect use of force: it consists of obtaining material values without their owner’s consent, under false pretenses or false promises. Extortion is another variant of an indirect use of force: it consists of obtaining material values, not in exchange for values, but by the threat of force, violence or injury. 

– “The Nature of Government,” from The Virtue of Selfishness by Ayn Rand. Copyright (c) 1961, 1964, by Ayn Rand.

 

  • If  we look at the current status of our capitalism, the greatest atrocities are being perpetrated by the fictional judiciary figure of Corporations.  And they Do imply  a form of abuse since the wages given might be ‘acceptable by laws’ but that doesn’t mean they are acceptable as a means to live in a dignified and comfortable way– in fact, there is no ‘fairness’ possible at all in our current system wherein money is not given or available to every person to live, where governments sell their ability to write laws to corporations and where individuals are seen as ‘powerless’ to file lawsuits against corporate powers for all the injustice that’s being committed by legal means as well, which means that our own ‘Legal frameworks’ and law makers are compromised to serve only certain individuals, those that have the money to do so.

 

  • Isn’t it physical possession the one that corporations do when going to a territory, extracting the people or resources they require to produce their own goods and services? Isn’t it extortion to give you a few weeks to get out of your house for not being able to keep up with your mortgage? That’s done by a bank, isn’t it extortion to oblige people to work in prison-like factories for 18 hours a day in inhumane conditions? Isn’t it that war for means of obtaining resources also a violation of basic living rights that are justified in the name of Security and Defense? Isn’t it fraud that people have to pay taxes to fund such wars? Isn’t it fraud to have to pay for a college that won’t ensure you have a decent means to make an income out of the studies you endlessly pay for’ – and this is our current Capitalist system, where no living consideration exits but only satisfying the need for More from those that already have the whole world in their hands.

 

  • There has Never been an actual government that secures and guards individual’s rights as long as there exist no regulation upon the economic and trading systems where money is moved, there is no ‘protection’ or ‘guard’ toward basic living rights where a working man is paid Less than what they should, which is nothing more and nothing less than any other worker in the same business or corporation, we’ll keep having inequality and a Government that backs this inequality as a form of ‘ever present flaw’ such as the way Poverty and Hunger in this world have existed throughout human history without any form of definitive resolution to the problem – this should already indicate what type of power we are voting for  in every electoral cycle.

 

  • The key-point is how there are laws and policies that are enabling corporations and enterprises and individuals to have more money than the government themselves. These individuals hide behind the corporation as the fictional entity that is regulated by laws that they themselves have coerced the law makers to create to benefit them and their ever expansive interests. Thus the problem is not lack of laws, but How they have been written, enforced and accepted by those representatives that were supposed to act in the interest of the majority, well, they are not 

 

Who is Responsible for this inefficacy and/or abuse of the Government and those ‘in power’?
  • Is it the Corporations or Constitutions or is it the International Organizations’ fault? Yes and No, it is within the individuals that such inefficiency, corruption and injustice is created in the form of the Nature of our Government, the Nature of people in powerful positions in the corporate world and the nature of the people that accept and allow this power to exist, which is everyone else not included those two spheres. That’s the mighty truth of our reality and as such, there can be no peace among men unless man understands how it is that we’ve come to generate all these mechanisms of control and abuse as a way to externally ‘cope’ with our own individual inability to consider each other as equals.

 

A free society—like any other human product—cannot be achieved by random means, by mere wishing or by the leaders’ “good intentions.” A complex legal system, based on objectively valid principles, is required to make a society free and to keep it free-a system that does not depend on the motives, the moral character or the intentions of any given official, a system that leaves no opportunity, no legal loophole for the development of tyranny. – ibid.

 

Why is this also part of the problem?  Let’s go to the solutions.

 

 

Solution                                                                             

  • The last quote above in the Problem section Still basing our ability to live in harmony based on legal frameworks that will still punish and regulate individuals as a form of control –we propose certainly something that has not been considered before, which is Education and a process wherein individuals learn what it is to become Self Honest and develop Common Sense to understand how any form of abuse or harm imposed onto another is detrimental to oneself and everyone around. The ‘complexity’ of the experience that Power gives to individuals when performing a form of abuse, extortion or violation upon other will be a matter for our emerging Psychology based on the mechanisms of the Physical Mind, where much of our current Human Nature will be able to be Understood.

 

  • The Government as an Administration will oversee individuals and ensure that all economic interactions are functioning properly. Our basic cap to greed and expansion of wealth is Equal Profit Share  in corporations, businesses and any other economic activity, which has been previously discussed as well.  See
  • 296. Profit in Equal Money Capitalism

     

  • Education will be vital, since it is the key to prevent the current ‘enforcement’ of laws that stem from a human deviation to pursue power and control, which will be prevented and treated by specialists in Physical Psychology and the new Mind Technologies that are currently being developed to guide and support a being to transform their seemingly ‘uncontrollable desires and instincts’ to live in a Self-Honest and regulated manner, which means always considering Common Sense: what is best for all.

 

  • Individuals make the system, individuals define the nature of our system, that is individual political power: through Education we ensure that every person, no matter their position or role in society, will always act in the best interest of all. No more corrupt, greedy or authoritarian leaders and individuals, no more ability to give bribes to dishonor and commit treason to the people by benefitting a few with one single decision that affects all, this is able to be prevented by shaping our Education system to support parents, teachers, and everyone else involved in a child’s upbringing to reinforce the basic principles that we propose within this new system: Equality as Life.
  •  

    To read about the nature of Government itself, read the previous entry: 318. Government in Equal Money Capitalism

     

Rewards                                                                             

  • No person will have more power than other and that means that no ability to control or abuse exists. If here is any concept of justice that can exist in a physical context of reality it is this: Equality does not require ‘justice,’ it is already just in its means and ways to manage ourselves as individuals, it will reflect the nature of a human being that is a Living being above all – this means: the individual realization of ourselves being equally able to act, speak and do what’s best for all – this will enable us to stop being so dependent on political powers within a few to live well – we’ll get to be self managed once that we are able to invariably trust each other with Life and that’s what is the actual development or ‘evolution’ of the human, getting to a stage of freedom by one’s own directive principle to act, speak and always do what’s best for all in Equality.

 

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

 

Money, Humanity, Atrocity, Abuse, Desteni

Artwork by Matti Freeman

Youtube:
http://youtube.com/mattifreeman1
http://youtube.com/matterfreemantv

Blogs:
http://www.matterfreeman.blogspot.com/
http://equalmoneyendspoverty.blogspot.com/
http://mattifreeman.blogspot.com/

 

Blogs

 

Vlogs:


313: Good, Evil and Power

What is good and evil can be shaped according to the morals imposed by the governing power. We can’t trust knowledge to decide what’s best for all, and this is an example of how words can be twisted to justify wars in the name of ‘Saving People’s lives from Evil.’  This is a bit of context in order to get to understand where ‘Rights’ come from as a form of Righteousness that defines what is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ what is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ to pursue in one’s living condition.

 

Problem:                                                                      

 

Before we begin to disclose what ‘Rights’ are, let’s look at the basic mindset of ‘Good and Evil’ and the role it plays in our current political dispositions.

 

What is Good and What is Evil?

The difference resides in the morality from which both ‘good and evil’ stem from, wherein according to a particular faction or dominant ideology, the individuals will ‘make up their minds’ about what is good and what is evil wherein personal benefits at an individual level or state interests at a system level are guarded, secured and defended. This means that because it is knowledge, it is a mind creation that when it is lived out, it can cause either beneficial outcomes or harm and abuse, just as any word we live out.

Evil is the real Human Nature as the Reverse of Live, that’s the simplest way to describe it, and Good is that which should be Best for All, but Good is not lived as such holistic determination, but instead shaped according to morals of what benefits the individual’s interests without considering such ‘good’ being a common denominator for All participants, due to, once again, knowledge and information as ideologies, idiosyncrasies, religion, culture, etc. All of that which separates the individual from physical considerations of what best for all in fact means, for example an economic system where every person can be regarded with having such right to pursue happiness in Equality, where no one is left out of such unconditional support as part of our Self-Responsibility by virtue of existing Here.

An empirical example is how for Americans it can be a ‘good call’  to wage war on terror, to justify going after potential terrorists or anti-democratic regimes with the banner of installing democracy and universal human rights, which are only a consideration according to what’s good for them and openly disguising imperialistic tactics justified by the ‘Salvation of Foreigners’ which then sounds like a Good thing for people in America to support war and their troops abroad: the invasion is then seen as Benevolent, people will accept war as a means for GOOD and a Benevolent act to ‘Free people from Evil Regimes/dictators’ while using war to do so. This is how  knowledge and information is used to adapt and warp people’s interests to think and believe that it is in their best interest that their military force wages war against ‘regimes’ or potential terrorists that threaten their own security, which is why war is then seen as a ‘defense,’ without realizing that such wars happen to have more civilian casualties, destruction and abuse than any actual defense from an apparent malevolent sovereign or terrorist.

However if we see it from the side of people in Iraq and Afghanistan, what Americans are doing is Evil because they are simply killing their people in order to obtain their territory and resources for further accumulation of power on their side. This is thus how the same act becomes Evil when seen from ‘the others side’ of the coin. However it is the same coin.

The consequences are very real. People dying is the result of countries seeking to broaden their range of influence over other countries to ensure their ability to have power over the territory for economic reasons such as the extraction and siphoning of resources, territorial military purposes, strategic geographic for further military campaigns, etc. It is Imperialism and this is the same mechanism being used by Corporations in our current Capitalist system as well, in the name of progress or further ‘economic renewal’ wherein in the desire for ‘good sales’ and positive numbers in economy, the lives of people that have to work as slaves with a miserable income have to ‘pay the price’ that will make another smile when seeing such a ‘good quality product at such a low price.’ At the eyes of the consumer it is ‘good’ to have affordable items, at the eyes of the worker it is evil to get such an unfair pay for their work. Obviously common sense is that such ‘progress’ is in fact Evil as it is not taking into consideration the lives of Human Beings, but only numbers, sales, and maximizing profit.

Evil is then the manufacturing of actual harm and abuse justified by mind-created needs that seek to obtain ‘power’ through abusing, violating, killing, extorting. And Good has become a way to distort such actual reasons and justifications with labels like ‘liberty’ and ‘justice’ and ‘democracy,’ so that the same actions are justified in the name of the ‘greater well being’ of a country’s populace. However it must be understood as an actual Imperialistic tactic, which is how our system has been funded upon.

 

Solution                                                                            :

What matters is not what can be defined as Evil or Good within our current configuration wherein we’re trapped in loopholes of cultures, traditions, ideologies, religions, languages that are the representation of us seeing more differences within who we are as the mind than common grounds based on physical aspects of who we are as humans, as physical beings living in  a physical world with equal needs. Thus, what matters are the Actions –  how words are Lived-  and not to get caught in morals of ‘right and wrong’ and ‘good and evil’ since I’ve just explained how this can be twisted to suit personal interests. That’s what knowledge does, and that’s why it is an instrument of power that has been used  to abuse, extort and control rather than establishing any common sense, otherwise we would have already transcended such polarization that is existent in every single aspect of our current living reality.

 

Evil is the reverse of life, which is what we as human beings currently exist as since it’s the foundation of the mind that creates knowledge and information to justify its insulate means of requiring friction and conflict to exist. For that we require to dissolve morality on focus on prevention and consequence of what causes common well being and what will disrupt it.

 

 

Rewards:                                                                        

Focusing on the physicality, what is best for all is the way to ensure we stop being ridden by morals as knowledge and information to make up our mind about what is best for all, and instead, ensure we establish practical ways to always act, think and speak in the best interest of all life forms, that’s our responsibility as part of this society and ecosystem until good is what’s best for all – and I mean ALL as Equals in fact.

What’s Best for all can only create a single outcome, real living enjoyment in Equality.

 

This will continue…

For further reference, read  the Equal Money Wiki

 

 Sin cabeza

 

 

Blogs:

Watch:

Vlog:

%d bloggers like this: