Tag Archives: complaining

425. If We Dislike Deception, We Have to Become Self-Honest

There is a phase when one becomes aware of the extent of the problems in the world and we go through the vast amount of information that is at our finger tips nowadays and really get to know the nitty-gritty details of the actual prison that we’ve created for ourselves, and the challenge that comes with this is: how not to get imbued by the perception of the ‘oh so ever powerful ones’  – that are in fact a minority in this world – being the sole problem and the ones to blame for everything that’s wrong, we perceive them as being invincible, which is precisely part of the function that they represent within the whole construct of the system in itself. Sometimes the information and getting to know ‘how deep the rabbit hole goes’ becomes a reinforcement to the belief that “there is no possible way out because ‘they’ are everywhere/ ‘they’ are so powerful and invincible.” In that, we actually psychologically become subdued to what we accept as ‘their power’ which we believe ‘is so real’ that the only thing that we apparently can resort to is blaming, complaining, judging others and believing that: there is no possible way out, so why bother? This is the mentality that we have to stop and that I’ll share here how I’ve managed to constantly work on preventing me from falling on the same old patterns.

 

Identifying one’s reactions to the problems

From my perspective and personal experience, it all begins with simple steps, such as how you engage in discussing relevant topics and ‘less known’ information that is termed as ‘conspiracy theories’ which many times are not ‘theories’ but rather the hidden/occult history out of our text books in school and universities and usually explain the actual workings of  this world system, such as who has been in fact ‘behind it all’ and the mechanisms used to galvanize it, which implies that we also had to be part of such control system by compliance. An easy response to knowing ‘who’s who in the zoo’ and in fact ‘sitting at the top of the hill’ can result in us reacting with anger which in turn leads us to ‘spew our mind out’ in blaming and finding this/that president/corporation/elite person as the culprit,  which is not necessarily something that can be supportive for others that might come through and read these comments and opinions on Facebook – or any other social media site – and be exposed to this information for the first time and be shocked at discovering that their president is waging a war in Somalia, Yemen and Pakistan killing over 2000 civilians, which means it is killing people that have most likely nothing to do with any sort of potential terrorists – yet this is all being paid by your taxes… In this case,  what would you say to ‘you’ as that person that is informing themselves about the ills of the world system for the first time, and realizing that their taxes are being used to obliterate certain nations to keep control of poppy fields and trade more drugs? Reinforcing the predictable behavior such as blaming, complaining, calling names and spurting general outrage about it is Not going to solve anything.

 

So where do we start, then?

One thing that I suggest starting with is considering self-responsibility – which is a tough point, and not many people are willing to recognize it, because it involves stopping feeling righteous about calling out the abuse and instead becoming a co-creator of the mess as well. t is about realizing that by virtue of living in this same world: We Are ALL Responsible. So instead of trying to ‘change the world out there’ which becomes indeed an ‘out of reach’ type of experience when considering ‘Oh my god, I have to change the entire world!’ we have to instead consider that this change begins with taking our own lives into our own hands, to become an example, which means: start with our own life.

I bet you also began questioning why this world is the way that it is and why are people in power only being corrupted and evil and being protected by the same laws we are supposed to abide to – is the system rigged in some way? So you as I did most likely began investigating, educating yourself about the problem, developing that interest and critical thinking skills, asking questions, and maybe even getting to know others that were also starting to look for similar answers. What I’ve realized now is that understanding the problem is one part of the solution, but then comes the necessary rule of Taking the point back to oneself and so Dare to ask the more uncomfortable questions, the kind that we’ve forgotten to ask ourselves all along such as: where was I when all of this ‘conspiracy’ took place? How have we allowed ourselves to be consumed and entertained to a point where we forgot about our responsibilities?

Instead we’ve learned to equate happiness to consumption and not consider how real happiness could be genuinely built if we could all come together and agree to integrate the principles we want to live by as a society into a new proposal for a political/economic and social structure, starting with the simplicity of how we can grant each other – for example – the basic right to live in dignity? This is what the provision of a Basic Income entails. This leads to the recognition of Self-Responsibility which implies ‘They’ and ‘Those in Power,’ the ‘Invincible’ ones or those that we perceive as ‘Untouchable’ are not going to give up their power, nor do we have to focus on ‘them’ to create any form of solution either. Instead it’s about focusing on how to empower myself and others at the same time with developing this self-awareness and an understanding of the problem, without reacting to it in the predictability of anger, frustration, rage, blame and wanting to tear the government building down – but instead with maturity and self-responsible assessments.

It is about motivating oneself to see through the a new solution-based mindset and at the same time, inciting others to consider self-responsibility and Act in the awareness of ‘How can I be the solution?’ ‘How can I consider Self-Responsibility?’ within the understanding that we won’t change ‘them’ or others for that matter –  we have to be the ones that step in, we have to be the ones that are willing to correct all of our personal ‘flaws’ which entail a personal debasement to for example, believe that we are disempowered. Instead we have to prove to ourselves that we can stand up as a reformed and corrected type of human being – as a New Human Kind –  that stops all forms of hatred, deception, violence, defensiveness, attack, complacency, defeatism, laziness, conformity and the ever so corrosive illusion of powerlessness, which is precisely what I many times have considered that is created as a result of an extensive amount or information on the fickleness of the human mind that might become emotionally affected by it, becoming obsessed to continue ‘dwelling’ on the same problem in spirals without landing on Earth back with solutions.  It is at the same time strange because this creates a strange sense of false-empowerment that leads – most of the times – nowhere; very, very few are able to read, understand and use the information and awareness constructively to continue building a foundation that gathers even more reasons as to why, for example, in the case of the American ‘Secret War’ as the Drone-Wars, the funds that go to combat a deliberately created boogie man, sending people to kill and enrich all the military contractors, should instead be spent in funding the provision of a basic income in America and creating a genuine safety net to prevent an upcoming crash that has been vaticinated for some time now, yet is already quite palpable based on the amount of poverty that exists in the U.S., isn’t it? So instead of waiting for the war-jackpot to hit home and revive the economy – why not informing people about the possible solution of using that money in a supportive manner that benefits the common man at home – it is about informing the society that such Military Defense budget Is in fact people’s taxes – this is just to name a brief example.

In this, I do not speak of creating Hope either, as it becomes a ‘waiting mode’ with idle expectations based on someone, somehow ‘turning the tables to our favor’ which won’t come at all by itself, and even if it happened that way, we would still then miss out the process of realizing that we actually have to be the ones that must do something about our lives – this whole process of facing massive consequences in this world is in fact a gift to allow ourselves to see what kind of responsibility we’ve abdicated throughout time, and so at the same time realizing that it is in taking self-responsibility that the solution begins.

 

What are the Practical Solutions then?

I can share with you what I’ve done myself which begins with getting to halt my own spewing that I used to vehemently defend and share with anyone else that I could as ‘my right to point out all that is wrong’ in this world and just remain there, in that complain, in that sense of protest which I lived as what I’ve denominated ‘The Loathing Politics’ character and having an ever present and growing hatred and disgust toward virtually anything that has to do with power and politics.  I live in Mexico and one of my first ingrained memories was listening on the radio about the release of a secret tape where some politicians and party enthusiasts were hiding voting ballots beneath the carpets of some governmental building during a presidential election, this was then about the politicians doing the necessary ‘dirty job’ to rig the game…  this became part of the pattern lived throughout my life of getting used to hearing about corruption and political neglect on a daily basis, it is a part of ‘how politics work’ here, hence my loathe and despair to it all back then.

So, to the day (January 30th) 7 years ago I decided to change my life and perspective toward it: from depressive and giving up on anything related to politics/system/society to recognizing that if I want my life and that of others to be genuinely good and supportive = I have to directly do something about it. It all started by me walking my own self-forgiveness on the past hatred toward every aspect of my life that I knew was detrimental to my personal development – this includes my reactions to ‘the world system’ – specifically politicians and people ruling in the catholic church – and so made a clear decision to for once and for stop being the predictable robot that only knows how to complain and blame.I decided to Stop adding my own bs and reactions to ‘those in power.’ Instead, understanding more about ‘the truth’ of this game led me to gather more and more reasons to understand that if a ‘few’ could do it, then our potential if united as the 99% of the world that is not ‘rigging the game’ can form an agreement to take responsibility for creating a new starting point in our society. I’ve also realized there is a massive potential yet to be unleashed that we have to begin growing and enticing within each other with simple steps, changing the way that we look at politics is an example of where one can start with.

 

“We need to do the opposite of what Russell Brand is advocating, we need to use our votes. Even if we don’t want to engage with the current broken system, we should not use that as an excuse for apathy. We should see it as an encouragement to engage in creating our own alternatives, our new co-created systems; to be creative about it and to connect. Connectivity is the key to a rapid change; but information in itself is meaningless if we don’t know how to decode it into wisdom.” –

Birgitta Jonsdottir  “Democracy in the Digital Era” – January, 2015

 

 

This is thus about first understanding the problems, understanding the ‘power structure’ and so realizing that if we see politics plays a big role, if CEO’s play a big role, if influential people in communities play a big role = then We have to become such ‘big roles’ as well! This won’t be an easy task either, because we are all essentially predestined to continue blindly walking the path of the least effort, giving up on the first obstacle we encounter, seeking the most reward without having to move a single finger and so on….  well, those days will be over soon.

We have to consider that we’ve allowed ourselves to be slaves for far too long, therefore it won’t take only 7 years to ‘wake up and change’ – no, we’re talking about walking through the human conditioning that’s lasted for thousands of years, which has increased in the last century at a rapid rate and is ever present now with the ability of be intercommunicated at all times. However in a way it also prompts us to consider first and foremost: how have I contributed to the problem as well with my inaction to take responsibility for it? Is my anger, hatred or blame supportive for myself or anyone? If not, then what would I do if – for example – I was ‘Obama’? or anyone you perceive has more ‘power’ than you for that matter…well, the thing is: we all have the ability and potential, we just squander it too much when being overwhelmed and emotionally driven to give up or just continually seek to focus on something more pleasurable and easily rewarding which is part of the necessary elements to keep ourselves in a divided and conquered mentality = this is the human failure that I decided to not be a part of anymore.

What do I practically do and support?

I support myself and other individuals to walk through this same process I just described, which is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever conceived I’d be doing with my life  – after perusing a rather selfish career in visual arts – and I gave myself a purpose to every single day share what I learn, what I consider as solutions, what I see as the problems and how we can use a documentary, a blog, a news article to reflect how what goes on ‘in the world’ as our individual and collective creation.

So, you can hear all my daily recordings which is a relatively ‘new’ project here: http://mixlr.com/marlen-vargas-del-razo/showreel/ – I support and am directly involved in the promotions of the  Living Income Guaranteed Proposal Living Income Guaranteed Proposal http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal / http://youtube.com/livingincome along with an exemplary group of people around the world at Equal Life Foundation which is part of the various efforts that we’ve proposed throughout the years as stepping stones toward political and economic change, while emphasizing on the necessity to include living principles which are similar to the same ones I’ve shared about my personal process.

So for example, providing a basic income/living income is a starting point to first get ourselves out of this survival-coerced mode and so, give each other the certainty of having the necessary to live. This in turn frees the necessary time to educate ourselves, to realize that it is about us now proposing solutions and giving that opportunity to each other to see who would we really be once that money stops being the main problem and obstacle for our personal and collective development. This also requires the will and volition to develop self-leadership and self-governance. It is not an easy task to do, though it is Not impossible either and everyone at ELF can be an example of what it is to live a regular life and still have the time to actually ‘walk the talk’ and direct ourselves to embody the principles that we agree on, the principles that we want to live by as a society and as a result of understanding the problems, which is what many people in the informed community already does – so now it’s about time to take the next step to encourage the development of a solution-based mindset.  

 

Giving up based on how ‘bad things look’ has become a common excuse to not do something about it – my take is: what else is there to do anyways in this world if not attending the problems we’ve caused? What else is there to do if not attending and raising your children, becoming an example of what is to do your work in the best possible way, supporting others to become better themselves, to recognize their potential and assist others in developing it –  which can be done once that one works on one’s own  – practicing our communication abilities, creating supportive personal and working relationships, becoming a living example of what is to Really ‘Be the change you want to see in this world’ and the list goes on…It only takes a decision from ourselves to be a part of the not-giving up group.

 

I would not even focus on trying to awaken those that are too fearful or complacent to even spare some minutes to read, watch or hear something that is beneficial to the whole. We tend to discourage ourselves from believing ‘no one cares’ when in fact, many Do care, but have no idea of where to even start with looking at a way through this mess, so that’s why education and information with a directive proposal for solutions is required and what we are in fact here for, no matter how ‘impossible’ it may seem at the moment – everything starts steps by step with oneself, isn’t it?


 

If we want to stop corruption, then let’s develop self-integrity, if we want to stop all lies and deception, then it’s time to develop self-honesty, if we are tired of ‘greedy people’ then we have to focus on developing moderation and being able to spot our own behavioral patterns and impulses where we give too much attention to that which only benefits ‘me’; this implies being a little bit more ‘selfless’ which is not giving oneself away, but developing a genuine care and empathy for others around us, as they are ‘us’ as well –  yes, even those in ‘high places.’ If we are so tired of the ‘same old’ bs, well, we have to also do some self-introspection and be willing to see and recognize what of ourselves we would like to change, what destructive patterns and habits we have that we know only lead us to a predictable outcome of failure/giving-up/passivity/complacency… how about instead we start considering how we affect ourselves/ others with our words, actions and inactions? What would it mean and what would I do if ‘I’ today had to become a person that is at the service of others like a public-servant/politician?

These are questions that lead us to recognize that we don’t have to wait for a president to give us nice answers on how to solve the problems, we can instead begin this process bit by bit ourselves, no matter how ‘unrealistic’ the feasible solutions might seem, because this ‘unrealistic’ conclusion about possible solutions becomes part of the obstacles to not think outside of the box and is part of the most common sabotage to potentially great ideas that, fortunately, are gaining more attention these days. 

These are the kind of questions that lead us to introspect and ensure that we live every day willing ourselves to see beyond the ‘fog’ and not get overwhelmed by how things currently operate. The trick is not to get lost in the rabbit hole and come out of it scared and only recreating another war as overloaded criticism and antagonism to those that we perceive as ‘the only culprits,’ or to try and attempt to ‘take the power away’ from someone through protesting and waging war – yet another one – with words, imaginations, intentions and predictable defeated outcomes.

This genuine (r)evolution is about focusing on individual self-change so that the way that we relate to one another and the world itself becomes the sheer result and accumulation of these seemingly ‘small changes’ that will certainly not get ‘Obama’ out of office – but will in turn encourage many others to start seeing behind the fog, to consider ways out in a human brain that is designed to always only focus on the friction/conflict and problem… it is about time we get rid of the belief, hope and sheer religious faith where we think that ‘those in power had to do this For Us’. It is about outgrowing the notion and comfortable denomination of ‘those in power’ by realizing that we are in fact the ones that abdicated such power: we are the majority therefore, we are in fact all capable of standing up for what we see will make our lives much better.

Our biggest problem at the moment is apathy and the perception of being powerless, and with this we do a disservice to life when we get too informed about the ultimate nitty gritty on conspiracies, but we don’t act in ways that prove we understand the problem and so have a better notion of how to start solving the problems as well.

 

I quote Junaid Malik with whom I fully agree with when it comes to the solution he proposes, and when I read his words I was glad to realize that not everyone that informs about the actuality and depth of the problem leaves a blog without a clear directive to self-responsibility:

 

There is no short term solution to the multidimensional problems we are facing. Education and awareness are key prerequisites for the change, which can only be achieved through a long term process. Instead of being selfish we will have to revive our faith in self-sacrifice for the common good. Instead of accepting an unequal educational system, we will have to educate all the children, the next generation in this country, without discrimination. Education doesn’t mean reading, writing or getting a degree and finding a job. It means learning to see through the façade of pretense. It means attaining knowledge and wisdom; knowledge to understand what’s going on and wisdom to change it. Let’s give it a try and hope that our next generation, once educated and enlightened, will stand against injustice and inequality, showing the oligarchy the exit door and replacing it with capable individuals in the decision-making process.” – JM http://wp.me/p2zw1Q-1o

 

So, my suggestion is that instead of continuing to rehash the same old predictable self-defeat, we use our time, our words, our simple interactions to share common sense = What WE Can Do in order to realize that it is about US learning to agree on what is best for all, learning to properly communicate, learning to always take the finger back to us and be willing to recognize our own flaws and self-deception first, and so prevent ourselves from jumping into conclusions and criticizing others – it is about being willing to give it our All that is humanly possible to correct the mess we’ve co-created – we all know what would make our lives in this world better, so why don’t we instead focus on working on that which is not only meaningful and gives a new sense to our lives, but absolutely necessary and ultimately our responsibility to the generations to come?  

 Thanks for reading and: walk along if you are ready to stand up

 

You can listen to the original version of this writing here: http://mixlr.com/marlen-vargas-del-razo/showreel/if-we-dislike-deception-we-have-to-become-self-honest/

 

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113. Who am I within Judging Communication?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an expectation about communication with another based on memories wherein I immediately access the ‘who I am’ toward a particular being in a particular situation wherein instead of remaining here as breathe without holding any expectation toward the moment I am experiencing myself in, I immediately expect the same type of communication that I have judged as a ‘routine’ and ‘always the same,’ without realizing that it actually takes two to ‘complete the set up’ of recreating a moment based on playing characters instead of actually being able to stop the pattern and instead create a different scenario wherein we can actually decide who we are within such moments.

 

When and as I see myself going into an immediate future projection of a moment I am about to experience myself in with another being in a particular ‘well-known situation’ and already preparing myself to live out the ‘usual format like communication’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am able to remain here as breath, no expectation toward the moment and as such, support myself to step out of character and break the memory-cycle by actually daring to communicate/ instigate communication within an unconditional starting point wherein I can actually decide to direct/ drive the communication into a new direction that stops the usual repetition we usual ‘fall into’ as human beings with our family/ friends, relationships on a day to day living.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself judge someone for asking the same questions and holding the backchat ‘he/she keeps asking the same questions, always saying the same things’ wherein I simply keep a straight face looking ahead without even attempting to say something ‘out of the format-questions/ answers without realizing that it is me the one that can actually direct the communication to sharing myself and interact with another without acting from the past as memories, and that I actually only dared to backchat about the situation because I feared stepping out of the usual ‘script’ of interaction, just to be ‘safe’ which means that I actually feared ‘losing my usual ground’ as the ‘who I am’ toward such particular beings, and not wanting to share myself with another and be vulnerable in a point of communication – in this fearing actually being judged for what I had to say, or for breaking the unspoken ‘usual ways’ we’ve become so used to interacting with one another.

 

When and as I see myself fearing to share myself and step out of the ‘usual questions’ with another, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am the one that determines what the communication becomes in any given moment and that I decide and have the faculty to actually dare to open up and step out of character into an actual opportunity to share myself with another in self-honesty.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge someone and hold the backchat ‘can he/she not be more open, warm and welcoming?’ without realizing that his is how I victimize myself in a point of communication and creating a character that supports another one’s character within complying to a certain format-like communication that I am certainly not enjoying, yet that I am judging as if I was ‘bound’ to it with no say, which is false as I realize that I can absolutely stand up in that moment and steer the wheel in a new direction that can be actually quite refreshing if we dare to do so.

 

When and as I see myself judging another for not creating/ instigating a point of communication that is open/ vulnerable in the moment, I stop and I breathe. I realize that instead of judging them, I am perfectly capable and able of stepping out of the script and direct the communication the way that I see can create a point of actual interaction to get to share who we are and what we are experiencing ourselves as in the moment, wherein we can create a supportive moment/ interaction for one another, which is what I see and realize this world lacks as we have are so imbued in our own personal judgments as fear toward one another that we rather keep silent instead of actually debunking and exposing our own mindfucks, which is actually quite enjoyable.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to and desire to have a ‘comfortable communication/ conversation’ with another yet because of manipulating myself to remain within the ‘parameters’ that we have created through time as memories from the interactions with particular beings in our reality such as family, friends/ acquaintances we believe that ‘it’s always been this way and it won’t ever change’ wherein I go then into the victimized state and self-manipulation of blaming others for not creating a ‘suitable opening’ to really communicate, without realizing that the moment that I go into backchat about the situation instead of actually speaking, I am in fact fearing to break the ‘safe bubble’ of interaction/ communication with another, wherein we both prefer to ‘keep quiet’ because we really fear communicating to one another, as we fear each other’s judgments and ‘stepping out of character’ within the’ who we are/ who we’ve always been’ toward another.

 

When and as I see myself judging a point of communication as dull and restrictive, I stop and I breathe – I realize that the only real restriction is the one existing within me to not actually dare to stop and stir the wheel of the communication in a new and in the moment way, wherein I can actually support myself and another to step out of our characters and really share ourselves for the first time, as I see and realize that we have only kept ourselves this way because we feared ‘stepping out of character.’ Thus I ensure that I am the one that establishes such point of comfort within myself to share myself as within me doing this with and toward myself, I can expand the same application toward another, wherein no judgment is created toward myself or another in the moment, but only focus on being here as two physical beings that are able to communicate unconditionally and/or support each other to eventually be able to communicate unconditionally as I see and realize that one must be the one that ‘breaks the spell.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever ask questions to others in order to instigate a point of communication out of fear, simply because of fearing that they are actually judging me for being silent – which is a pattern that I created as a child – without realizing that the moment that I am fearing another being silent, I am not being here as breath, but conditioning another’s expression within my own mind-frame of memories as the ‘who I am’ within communication.

 

When and as I see myself fearing another’s silence within a moment that we physically share together, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am judging such silent due to my own past memories of being judged because of being silent and always being pushed to speak – thus I realize that I can or cannot communicate based on a self-honest drive to do so or not.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that the only reason why I would either compromise myself to speak or remain silent was only stemming from fear, fear of being judged if I didn’t do so and fear of what they would think about me if I did do it – thus I remain stable here as self and speak in the moment by directing myself to do so or not. I have now seen and realized that it doesn’t matter if I speak or if I don’t speak with another while sharing a moment, such as the typical example of riding with another in a car wherein I have experienced the most ‘restrictive’ situations because I am bound to be with others sharing a space for a certain amount of time – hence feeling compelled to speak, without realizing that I do not require to do so as the desire to do so is actually stemming from the fear of ‘what will they say if I don’t – hence I stop the mindfuck for once and for all and be unconditionally here willing to share myself and willing to remain silent without holding any backchat about it, but just breathing here.

 

When and as I see myself striking a conversation/ asking questions toward another out of fear of remaining silent/ not communicating at all – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am the one that is able to decide whether I want to communicate or not, and that I can in fact appreciate a moment of just sharing a physical moment with another wherein verbal communication is not always necessary, yet I decide whether I do so or not.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a slight nervousness and anxiety whenever I perceive myself that ‘I don’t know what else to say’ which is actually stemming from the desire to ‘keep the energy up’ within a conversation wherein I am actually wanting to make another comfortable and ‘enjoying the moment’ instead of actually realizing how within wanting to apparently ‘please others,’ I am compromising myself, as I am pushing myself to do something that I in fact do not want to do, but feel somehow ‘obliged’ to do, which is stemming from the childhood memory of me being forced to speak or threatened to be exposed as a shy/ insecure/ hermit type of person if I didn’t do it – hence I would speak just so that I would not be judged by others as a shy, closed and hermit person.

I realize that I do not have to impose my plethora of memories of the past in impose it on the physical reality as the moment that we are living in, wherein I can simply remain silent or continue speaking in the moment without feeling compelled/ obliged or even forced to do so.

When and as I see myself reacting in anxiety or nervousness because of ‘seeing a communication point dying’/ going silent and striking conversations out of fear, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can actually assess whether there is anything relevant to share in the moment or not, hence I stop fearing stopping a point of communication or remaining silent if there is nothing else to say; within this I stop compromising myself to ‘fill in the gaps’ that I feared as the ‘horroris vacui’ that I’ve created when interacting with another, wherein I have feared them judging me as being ‘short-worded/ laconic and/or introverted’ for not speaking too much, not realizing that there two reasons for this.

  • 1. Because I would assess my own communication with others according to ‘who they are’ within my mind, hence limiting myself to speak and communicate with those that I would deem as being compatible with myself based on personality
  • 2. Because of the memories of my mother pushing me to ‘keep conversations going’ as in keeping a positive attitude and moment, wanting to deliberately make others ‘feel good’ in the moment of communication, making them feel like they’re welcomed, without realizing that this was just the ‘good person’ type of play out wherein I learned from my family to always be charismatic and open/ welcoming toward others as a means o show ‘hospitality,’ without realizing that the starting point of these type of applications is always self interest, to have people / visitors that would come to our house deliberately speaking ‘good things’ about us for being such ‘welcoming, warm hearted people’ that would treat guests very well, which is then actually the typical mechanism of sowing ‘goodness’ to reap ‘goodness/ positive feedback’ in self-interest only.

I realize that I can simply end a conversation the moment there is nothing else to say, and that I can also remain silent with another for example in a car, without compromising myself to ‘keep the conversation going’ out of a dishonest starting point such as fear of being judged for being silent or fear of not being ‘acceptable’ for another. Yet I have realized that I can actually communicate with others and enjoy doing so, once that communication is no longer bound to being only a particular character based on memories of ‘who I am’ toward others, but that I can decide to create an openness and unconditional interaction toward others, wherein I can practically break the cycles of the past by me not playing out the past as myself any longer.

When and as I see myself fearing remaining quiet with another, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I do not require speaking all the time to exist and be here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that I would always have to create something ‘astounding’ in my life in order to have something to speak about with others, just because I reduced communication to sharing about that which I would be able to categorize as ‘outrageous’ or ‘out of the ordinary’ point, which is how we have conditioned each other to talk about our ‘quests’ in life that are apparently what makes us ‘live’ and be ‘alive’ every day, without realizing that I am in fact only being and becoming a single copying mechanism of others in order to reduce communication to a single story-telling to instigate emotions or feelings within another in order to assess it as a ‘successful communication’ which is being able to instigate within another a sense of enjoyment or even distress to assess that I have in fact established communication, as we have only defined communication as the interactions of our minds, instead of an equal and one unconditional sharing in the moment, without believing that we have to make another ‘feel’ what we ‘felt’ in a certain moment, as I see and realize that such feelings are not part of the physical reality that I can share instead as physical facts and doings, instead of feelings and emotions that seek empathy from another, and dare calling that communication.

 

When and as I see myself to believe that I have ‘nothing interesting to talk about with another,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize we have conditioned each other to believe we can only communicate if there’s ‘something to speak about’ as that which in our minds is ‘more than’ other regular every day events, simply because of how we have conditioned each other to consume memories to share with another as means to prove ‘who’s got the best living experience of both,’ which is how people share each other’s quests and conquers as a means to be adulated or bashed for something, which in the eye of the mind is equally ‘cool’ as an experience is created in both participants, which is unacceptable as this is how we go ‘building our lives’ in means of creating a point of distress or absolute outrageous activities/ situations in order to ‘have something to talk about,’ as we have learned that the most ‘popular people’ are the ones with ‘outrageous/ out of the ordinary’ type of living, which is one of the reasons why we seek to have money in this world: in order to buy ourselves experiences that we can later on share with another in means of being envied or creating jealousy as that makes us feel ‘better’ about ourselves apparently, without realizing the actual system that we are keeping in place wherein not everyone is able to have the same opportunity to have such ‘outrageous lifestyles’ which only reinstate and confirm that we are willing to communicate and even praise those that are wiling to abuse themselves or others in the name of having some ‘good story to tell. ‘

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that being silent is ‘okay’ with another because I have already established a relationship with them, hence not feeling compelled to speak or share because ‘I’ve secured them within my domain,’ which is a usual pattern that would ensue within relationships, wherein the belief of ‘not feeling obliged to speak,’ comes because I believe I don’t require to prove myself to others as being ‘worthy of communicating/ being with,’ which is then actually stemming from the fear of being rejected or being seen as ‘unworthy’ to hang out with/ communicate with, which is how communication because a ‘tool’ for me to only prove that I can be accepted by others, without having realize that I had not even developed the basic understanding of myself and my own mind to see the staring point of my communication as deceptive – thus I realize that it wasn’t really that I ‘enjoyed the silence,’ but I simply associated such moments of silence with a ‘secured relationship’ that I didn’t require to ‘keep up’ because of thinking and believing that I had completed the ‘absolute conquest’ type of application wherein I perceived that I could not ‘lose’ such relationship and that I had them ‘feeing on my hand,’ which is the moment wherein I would actually turn despotic about a relationship, just because of believing that I didn’t have to ‘grow it’ any further, which is actually self-manipulation and desire for control at its finest.

 

When and as I see myself feeling comfortable with another in silence, I stop and I breathe – I actually verify myself to be fully here and ensure that I am not loading any memories or past definitions in the moment and that I am in fact being unconditionally HERE, sharing a physical moment with another wherein words might not be compulsory yet still available when and if there is a requirement to speak. This is then the ability to share a moment with another wherein words are not required for a moment and actually be able to enjoy simply being and breathing.

 

This we can see in the world wherein people talk mostly about their parties, trips, deceptive ways in which they earned a lot of money, the amount of partners they have and the frequency of the sex they have with them, the stuff that is bought – as well as all the negative such as having a ‘bad life’ in any way wherein conversations revolve around blame, self-judgment, guilt, memories that are re-lived in the moment in order to feel depressed about something or someone, which is how we have built and created our relationships with family, friends and colleagues based on being able to tell a ‘nice story’ that they can later on feel either good or bad about, as that is how we have defined our lives to be: either a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ moment based on our own value-schemes upon a life and reality that is clearly filled with ups and downs that we dare to complain or talk about to either praise or bash, but never actually communicating in order to better the physical conditions in the world that are creating such problem and/or seeing how a cool point can be practically implemented for others as well, simply because we have not yet realized that we are the creators of ourselves in every moment and that we decide who we are and what we remain as or not in every moment of breath here.

 

I realize that communication is an actual cool opportunity to start changing our limited ways of relating to one another based on characters, based on a reality that is restrictive and extremely limited/ conditioned to our own mind-frames – thus in order to start establishing an actual point of change in this world, I realize that words and communication have a very important role that is here in our hands to direct to a best for all outcome. This means that we are the ones that, because we see and understand the current limited frames of what ‘communication is,’ it is our duty to now expand and share and educate each other to see how communication can be different with one another if we simply stop fearing each other and take the opportunity to support oneself and another to see life from a different perspective, wherein communication can actually be self-supportive at all times, wherein we practically stop the same cycles of format-like conversations and protocol-like interactions that only ‘fill in the gaps’ of our actual fear to share ourselves with others – we decide who and what we are toward one another in every moment of breath.

 

Walk the Desteni I Process to establish a self-relationship of establishing a self-honest starting point of communication by first getting to know yourself as your own mind.
Support the Equal Money System to stop compromising each other in relationships of fear that create this entire world system as an entire chain massacre of self-dishonest deeds. Time to Stand as the example of how an actual change in the world begins within ourselves

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This blog is a continuation to:

112. Who am I within Evading Communication?


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