Tag Archives: confusion

229. Not Understanding the Mind leads to Insanity

Self-Addiction to Emotions and Feelings as ‘Who We Are’ = Self Interest

Elitist Character: Mental Disorders Hide us From Self Responsibility – Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Application

220. Drug Culture: Mad Society as a Lifestyle

 

 

“the Mind/Energy will ‘fight’ for its Polarities, its relationships, its For/Against definitions, because in this process – it maintains friction/conflict, which is what fuel the existence of the Mind, which is what fuels the existence of this very World System, which fuels the attention-diversion/distraction of the Majority of Humanity to be preoccupied in Polarities, Polarity definitions, fuelling separation “divide and conquer” – while the Minority Elite take the reins of Humanity/life on earth – cause no-one is willing to give-up/let go of their Polarity, their Personality Definitions and actually UNDERSTAND ALL THINGS and align them into and as equal and one Solutions for ALL.” – Sunette Spies*

 

Self Forgiveness on who I shaped myself to be as my emotions and feelings.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept the energy of friction and conflict as ‘who I am’ within my mind without realizing that it was a part of me that I believed I had a ‘right’ to exist as, because: it is coming from me, it must be me – and in this abdicate my very first awareness to the thoughts in my mind as ‘who I am’ and ‘what I am,’ and from that moment on, losing any perspective to question my thoughts and experiences coming up in the mind and felt in my physical body, but instead simply continued to believe that this inner experience of friction and conflict had a reason’ to be inside me and such, begin defining ‘who I am’ according to my mind, the nature of my thoughts, how I experienced myself as thoughts, emotions and feelings wherein my attention then centralized and focused on Me, My Mind, How I feel, beginning to neglect the rest of the beings and reality in itself just because of being focused on ‘who I am as the mind,’ missing out even the reality of myself as my own physical body within this mind-mode.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to actually use and fuel my own self conversations as a form of entertainment and re-assuring that ‘I am this mind,’ because the process of identifying myself ‘as my mind’ became solid as a child and as such, having this be confirmed by people around me when they started to identify me with a certain character like being ‘angry’ or ‘too aloof’ or ‘too conflictive’ or spoiled, which lead me to continue growing up believing that there was a ‘problem’ within me and that I was not normal/ not as other kids because of having this inner-conflict within me of any kind really,  that I could not ‘sort out’ but believe that ‘this is who I am/ I was born like this/ there is no solution’ – within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that this friction and conflict is something that defines me and that I would have to bear with the rest of my life, that there was no questions about it and that I would most likely end up like the adults, being able to ignite in extreme anger in one moment and not be able to stop, which indicates how I became aware of emotions as the aspect I resonated more with, which became a point of identification just because of what I had been exposed to in my reality as a child, which then defined ‘who I am’ according to these surges of anger  and distress that I would experience but was not able to solve within myself, therefore accepting these surges of energy as incontrollable/ unstoppable and ‘who I am,’ which is how I have come to accept the totality of the mind as myself without a question.

 

I realize that yes, the mind represents everything that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to separate ourselves from as ‘our nature’ as humanity which is not of harmony or completion or stability or benevolence, but, of actual evil as the reverse of life as all aspects of separation that we accepted and allowed ourselves to become. This is how I realize that I accepted conflict as a ‘problem’ within myself – just as any other human being – and that due to not knowing how others would also experience themselves, I created a point of specialness as in having some form of ‘anomaly’ for having these ups and down experiences which I identified as being actions that only ‘crazy people’ would have/ experience, eventually wearing the tag as a way to justify my inner conflict and even take proud of that because in one way or another, I was justifying my own personality as ‘special’ and ‘unique’ for having this ways of being which I actually fooled/ kid myself to believe I had no control of, when in fact as I review  such moments, I realize I absolutely was aware of what I was doing and how what I did was a deliberate point of causing and instigating conflict within myself as entertainment and others, because it just felt ‘good.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use friction and conflict within me as a point of self-infatuation and entertainment wherein I began only focusing on ‘How I felt’ in every moment wherein I was given the option to ‘feel good’ or ‘feel bad’ and define everything in my life according to likes and dislikes that became points/  aspects of self identification by people in my environment as ‘who I am,’ and within this

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that because people were okay with having things that they like and dislike or specific characteristics/ moods/ preferences, I was able to then do the same and seek the most unique ways to exist in comparison to them, which is how everything that I perceived as ‘normal’ around me, became my standing point to define myself as everything that I would be ‘against’ to, without realizing that it was never ‘Me’ as a physical being living at all, but just existing as a mind that would lead to define oneself according to standing ‘against’ the majority, standing against/ opposing one’s “normal-environment,” only for the purpose to have a way to stand as a ‘different’ or ‘authentic’ personality defined in opposition to others, and in this only fueling and supporting the separation, the friction and conflict that ensued from that moment on in my life,  wherein

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to within this identification of who I am as the mind, I defined ‘who I am’ according to being ‘the opposite’ to what my family and peers at school represented, and as such, build  my own specialness and security within these definitions at a mind level, which only lead me to every time seek to upgrade my ‘personality’ and preferences, characteristics as a way to not only then antagonize my family or people at school, but the world system in itself in a spiteful mode that I took on toward everything and everyone, without realizing that everything that I spiting at all times was only myself when and while neglecting my very own physical body and the substance that I am as life, using it to power and fuel my  mindfucks, literally, which is unacceptable – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to accept this culture of ‘personality cultivation’ and creation based on defining me as a particular character with preferences and temperament as all the thoughts, beliefs, ideas and opinions I started creating as ‘my point of view’/ my way of being, without realizing that every single definition that I took on as myself became just another way to define myself As something that would invariably stand within one pole that would create friction/ conflict/ react to the opposite pole as another definition to which I would invariably react to, as I had to somehow ‘defend’ myself as My definition whenever the opposite would present itself in my reality.

I realize that I always had one moment before reacting wherein I would actually decide to ‘role play’ my part and react to that which I was supposed to react to based on my preferences, my personality and that which I defined would make me ‘angry’ or ‘mad’ or happy or sad or excited based on the preferences and personality that I began cultivating as a child as ‘who I am.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘fill the character’ that I became by my own apparent ‘will’ to do so, and do, react, say and speak the way that I had built myself to be, do, act and speak like, within this complying to the social norm of becoming a character that is predictable and would react against/ oppose or like that which is defined as the oppostite polarity of myself. Within this also,

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘follow through’ with my own script throughout the years and continue fulfilling the reactive character every time that I was almost expected to ‘fulfill the character,’ which is how I realized that the personalities that I created were mostly  ‘a show’ for others, a way to stand in self-importance, specialness, uniqueness and in that learned to only focus on my self, fulfill myself, react when I was expect to do and never question again this as something that could be stopped, because, I had already ‘gotten married’ with the idea of myself/ gotten too much into character, which then became a Lie I had to follow through with and eventually it integrated fully as ‘who I am’ over the years and that was it. I believed that I could not ‘change me’ and stop participating in the character because of the fear of ‘who would I be without it,’ not realizing that the only thing that fears stopping self definitions is the mind, not who we really as as a physical body that is actually being abused and neglected throughout our developmental processes in the mind wherein we are only focused on cultivating our characters and self-experience.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that the inner conflict experienced would always be with me and that I would grow up to be as angry/ neurotic as the adults I was aware of in the family, and that I would end up being somehow sick and with some form of mental problem or disorder as well as an emotional problem – such as chronic depression or constant worry and stress – without ever really having investigated how this all was just part of me having identified myself with my thoughts, feelings and emotions as ‘who I am’ as well as adopting the ‘ways of being’ from the characters around me in the family/ society, and as such, believing that I had something ‘wrong’ within me because the inner conflict would not go away – hence believing that I was invariably going to have a ‘disease/ sickness/ mental problem’ at a later stage in life – hence

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize to what extent there is ignorance in humanity with regards to the nature of how the mind works, wherein one single energetic experience was perceived as something utterly ‘wrong,’ or a malfunction, anomaly or disease because of how we’ve programmed ourselves to believe that what we see on TV or as the façade of each other as ‘harmonious,’ ‘happy’ and naturally joyful beings was in fact ‘real’ and had to be ‘who we are,’ without realizing it is a masquerade to hide the actual fear, stress, depression that is experienced within, as that is the nature we have all accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as the mind, fueling this constant belief that we have to ‘keep up with the positive’ while all the time we experience this inner-conflict when participating in thoughts, feelings and emotions that veered toward the opposite and no matter how we categorize our experiences as positive or negative, they all represent a point of conflict which indicates energy which is of the mind and as such, able to be stopped and self corrected as a point of Self Responsibility.

 

I realize that this  ‘incongruence’ of my inner experience and the outer experience I was supposed to present, created a rift within myself believing that ‘there was something wrong with me,’ and this mostly being talked about in the media as mental disorders and being depressed or having low self esteem, being addicted to a form of self-abuse, belittlement and all of that which was considered as a mental problem/ a Grave problem, which I then kept quiet about and kept a well placed façade of ‘everything is fine, I am perfectly normal,’ even within my dissident/ antagonist characters, but ‘normal,’ and such, veering toward other ways to ‘make sense’ of my inner conflict, leading me nowhere but further confusion and relationships that supported this inner conflict, which became the focus on my life, trying to make sense of it through others, through living the lives of others and avoiding looking at my own, becoming friends with and having relationships that I thought I could use as a way to sort out my own inner conflict through others, instead of focusing on my own and within this, only aggravating the inner conflict that I kept for myself all the time, out of fear of actually having to ‘ask for help.’  Within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to label these energetic experiences as ‘mental disorders’ to that are in fact the ‘normal’ workings of the mind within how it  operates and understanding that for that matter, all human beings could be labeled as having some ‘mental disorder’ because The Mind in itself works through friction and conflict that we perceive as our emotions and feelings and thoughts, inner conversations, backchat – therefore there was not going to be in any way a ‘mental health’ or stability possible as long as we would seek only to make people ‘happy’ and ‘positive’ and get their ‘motivation’ back up, which is why and how I always resisted having any support because it seemed to phony to just veer to the positive and ‘be happy’ while the reality that I was witnessing, was nothing but happy for everyone, was nothing but harmonious wherein I would witness a world that was existing in constant fights and problems with money, politicians, poverty, wars and all of this only meaning to me one thing: this world is crazy and so am I, within this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to use the excuse of ‘the state of the world’ as a way to justify my experience as being ad hoc to the state of the world – madness, instability, depressio, crisis – hence the entire characterization of ‘the sensitive being’ that reacts to what others apparently would not see, and in this becoming even more self absorbed in my own emotional experiences about the world, linking that to ‘art’ and ending up victimizing myself, believing that ‘there is no way out, it’s the devil’s way now’ which is how I see obviously even the music that I would hear would support this entire ‘depressed’ character not because I was not being supported to live – that’s why it is the elitist character, because I was not suffering a physical life of Lack of money/ health/ poverty or abuse – but I was only focusing on cultivating these emotions and ‘sensitivity’ to the world as a point of self interest, because of having learned how ‘artists were sensible beings’ and I actually made people accept me as ‘different’ due to this so-called ‘sensitivity’ and ‘specialness’ that I built in within myself, getting completely in this character that was probably even ‘allowed’ to be alone, isolated, depressed because of the same character of which I also expected to make a ‘name’ of myself for,  and justify my non-compliance to the system as well as defending my ‘point of view’ to not even attempt to create a change within the system itself – in essence: the ultimate justification to Not stand up for my life and the life of this world in equality.

 

All the time that I only cultivated my personality, my inner conflict, my dissatisfaction with life, my helplessness, my worry, my concern, my sadness toward the world, my depression, my confusion about people, my judgmental experiences of opposition toward ‘the world system,’ my desires to just ‘fly away’ and be out of the system, desires to expose the ‘ugly through something beautiful’ in some form of expression were again only actions, words cultivating a character within me, wherein I was not actually willing to investigate my self-experience, my mind and How I had created it, but only ‘get the most of it’ and making it into an acceptable character in society which is why I veered toward arts/ humanitarian studies and ‘dissed’ my apparent potential to become something else because of getting into this ‘sentimental character’ that was apparently my ‘humane’ aspect to cultivate as ‘my real personality’ – thus

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that I had to cultivate my emotions  in order to be on the side of those that were ‘alive’ and could see the world and be sad about it and depressed and feel ‘misunderstood,’ which became really just another self-interest game where I would only remain as a victim, living in constant drama and this belief of there being something ‘wrong’ within me because of not being ‘happy’ and ‘joyful’ naturally – without realizing that:

I had never in fact understood how the mind functioned and how even if I was addicted to feeling sad, sorry for myself, depressed and victimized all the way, is still the same as fixating on everything that is positive, happy and joyful that I criticized extensively in the past, which proves the ignorance toward our own mind wherein we believe that we are somehow being more ‘responsible’ for being sad/ gloomy/ angry at the world when it is just another way to focus on our own experience and not really at all looking at the world and realizing that there are solutions required that will not be solved with us ‘feeling bad’ about it, that’s just blatant self-interest and an actual defense mechanism to not become a sound being that can stand in the face of reality and take absolute self responsibility for ourselves/ the world here as breath, which is what I have realized within this process: we cannot sustain this self-interested experiences of ups and downs and seeking happiness or being subsumed in depressions- which is the same thing – but actually stop participating in all forms of energetic experiences and focus on integrating ourselves to our physical body here as breath, that does Not require to have a particular ‘stance’ toward the world as an experiencing ourselves to do, be, say and act toward what’s best for all.

 

I commit myself to expose how our energetic fixations of the mind as desires, wants and needs – as well as rejections, denials, suppressions – represent the ‘who we are’ as the mind that functions through energy, which is who we have become as consciousness and within this, exposing how we have diminished ourselves in the physical to these limited characters that fight and define one against the other with no ability to actually create solutions, stand up for that which matters, because we are so busy trying to sort out our inner experiences, without even looking at the consequences that are ensuing from such self-experience as a drug of the mind. And so

 

I commit myself to stop any mind fixation within me either perceived as positive or negative and any participation in the self-definition of who I have been as a point of  preference or habit in order to finally be able to stand as  a sound stable physical being that can be effective to be self directive, self-motivated to establish solutions in this world and stop wallowing in any form of self experience as the result of seeing ‘the state of the world’ as that is only but a mechanism of defense to continue existing as a mind that ‘feels’ and ‘becomes emotional’ but establishes no solutions to the problems we’ve created, which is our responsibility at all times.

 

I commit myself to expose how our ‘mental instability’ is nothing ‘out of this world,’ but the mechanism of how the mind works and for this, realizing that reducing ourselves to have some form of ‘mental instability’ is the ultimate self-incapacitation in order to believe that we are not ‘strong enough’ or ‘good enough’ or ‘capable enough’ to stand up to create solutions in this world.

 

I realize that the moment we focus on our mind problems/ inner experience, we absolutely miss out the reality that is here and this is how it is imperative for all of us to get to a point of constancy and consistency as the stability that we are able to all live by here as Breath, as life in the physical, so that we no longer get distracted by our energy fixes of the mind as ‘problems’ and ‘instabilities’ that are self created just as another attention diversion aspect within our worlds.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is only possible for us people that have enough food to eat, a place to live and education to be focusing on this ‘inner experience’ due to having ‘more time’ to spend wondering in the mind instead of being physically working and participating in activities that are related to actually contributing to life on Earth. This is how depression and any other form of mental instability that can be identified as ‘mental disorder’ hence an apparent  “drug-required disease,” is just another way to make money for the pharmaceutical companies that use this ‘weakness’ within the human mind in a capitalist world to believe that emotions and feelings are a disease that can be controlled or healed with chemicals/drugs, instead of actually investigating one’s life to see how these ‘disorders’ were entirely self created, accepted and allowed and as such take responsibility for them, in order to not only correct oneself in one’s living and physical stability, but also to support establishing conditions in this world through education and the necessary changes in the entire system so that whichever system-deficiency is able to be identified as a problem that propitiates this mental problems, we create a solution for, which implies the implementation of the Equal Money System to ensure that people are no longer subject to a survival mode that feeds this inner conflict of the mind, but instead we are able to focus on re-establishing our living conditions to that which is optimal and supportive to be Living in this world as physical beings and no longer existing of/ as friction and conflict in the mind, feeding each other’s mind-realities and instead, support each other to ground ourselves as the physical, stop living as characters and work together to create a world that is based on life in equality.

 

— I will continue with looking at how these energetic experiences of the mind as emotions and feelings causing inner conflict, were reduced to being ‘mental disorders’ of the mind wherein we made an illness of something that is each individual’s point of self responsibility to correct, stop and align to the physical living wherein the focus must always be to stand as beings that support life in Equality with All – and within this, for once and for all, stop supporting each other’s inner-instabilities as ‘who we are’ and dare to call that a human crisis instead of a human problem caused by ourselves and resolved by ourselves individually.

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Emotions and Feelings are Self Interest – Stop the Self-Addiction

 

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Day 45: Rejoice when Others Fall

How come we haven’t asked ourselves: why do we enjoy and rejoice in seeing others fall?

What’s with our human nature wherein we expect others to fall, in the first place – being waiting for the moment when someone will finally give up and quit whatever point they had committed themselves to and get a ‘good feeling’ out of it, even if you are only an outside spectator of it all. And there’s the other side of the coin when we  as the ‘expected to fall’ individual actually create such ‘fall’ by accepted and allowed thoughts wherein we believe ourselves to be in a quandary, not knowing how to follow, what to do because of having ‘all eyes on you’ = in essence, listening to our voices in the head, the mind as thoughts which will always look for its own ways to continue creating conflict and perpetuating fear.

 

Conflict creates further uncertainty as the experience of ‘fearing to fall,’ which translates to a general unstable experience of ‘losing one’s ground.’  It’s like taking a thread of yarn and knitting it: one single thread suddenly becomes this thick patterned conglomeration that is no longer simple single thread: it becomes something ‘bigger’ – apparently – yet it is still a thread – it would only take walking backwards that knitting until the thread can go back to be rolled up into the one ball of yarn again. Is the knitting more special or more important than the single thread of yarn coming out of the yarn ball? Point to ponder for how we see – reality and how we add ‘value’ to matter according to the work that’s been put to it.

 

From the observer’s perspective, as this single thread gets knitted into being ‘more’ and becoming more intricate and with no apparent way out of it: we are only expecting for the moment for such thread to continue getting further into the maze and have no support to ‘come back’ to the single-thread it was, and instead of anyone caring to say: ‘hey, you are making a mess/maze of yourself, you are over-complicating yourself, it’s the other way around,’ we remain idle even when and while looking at the obvious consequences that can pull anyone to a deep end if there is no support available to make another realize: you are going the wrong way! – where is our neighborism when realizing someone is about to ‘hit the ground’ and not do anything to let them know about it? Careless-ness and actual expectation of seeing another fall to make ourselves ‘better’ by being the ones that ‘remain standing.’ This is what adds up to the mess that we believe some one else ‘staged’ for us – really? Let’s just ask ourselves: who are we within such constant expectation and secret mind desire of seeing someone falling, someone losing, someone being kicked out of some place?

 

Yes, evil in the possession of our very own unconditional flesh. Have a look at entertainment where any form of competition is made a TV reality show and the audience eventually gets more excited about seeing who will lose than who wins or develop and better themselves. We seek tragedy, we like seeing people suffer and be able to judge that from a ‘good standing position.’ Spitefulness toward life that is, carelessness, selfishness as the desire to remain ‘over others,’ wherein we secretly think: great, one mouth less to feed/ one less to fight against in this competition of a dog-eat-dog world.

 

See how far we’ve driven ourselves wherein instead of caring to promote an answer to the problems in this world that WE created, as to point out why and how we are all co-‘manifestators’ of this reality,  we prefer to spread separation and retaliation even further with no solution at all – and no public opinion is prepared to actually carry enough understanding to propitiate actual education about the functioning of our world/ reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a positive experience within me as ‘being powerful/ being more than others’ when seeing others fall/ lose/ get lost as this implies that they are ‘les capable/ able/ stable/ committed/ prepared/ enthusiastic/ hard working’ than me – which is then implying that I am seeing everyone as a potential competitor that I must ‘beat’ in order to feel at ease and feel like being ‘winning’ all the time, which is the experience that comes through blame, spite and abuse toward others in other for me to prevail and remain ‘standing’ in contrast to others, which means that I have reduced myself, my life to being only a comparative conglomeration of knowledge and information that has defined its ‘beingness’ according to others’ as reference point, instead of me being my own reference point as to what it is to stand in Self Honesty where our own thoughts, words and deeds demonstrate our own commitment to life – and allow such thoughts, thoughts and deeds to reveal the ‘true nature’ of what we are accepting and allowing ourselves to exist as the mind only, which means that any form of experience gotten from seeing/ realizing how others are living their own lives is simply spitefulness as the ego seeking to get its positive-energy fix in order to remain within the self-created idea of ‘winning.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in thoughts of expecting someone to fall in order to prove ‘my point’ which is always that of diminishing others to a single pattern of self-defeatism and preprogrammed flaws wherein I have become the very perpetrator and equal abuse when participating in such hideous backchat that is at all times, seeking to win no matter what, seeking to ‘remain on top’ and ‘beat any enemy,’ which means that I have made of myself my own greatest enemy as I am only competing against myself and expecting myself to fall, which implies that the starting point of my beingness is not here as self equal and one – moment by moment – standing a self-willed, but compromised to being defined according to others and using others as a measurable point to see ‘who I am,’ which is absolute self-deception and self-sabotage as there is nothing and no-one I am actually directing such thoughtful experience of ‘expecting others to fall’ but toward myself only.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘who I am’ is able to fall and lose any form of actuals substance in that, wherein all that can be ‘lost’ is the idea that I’ve kept of myself and others in my mind, wherein self-determination in every moment of breath to be here cannot be ‘more’ or ‘less than’ – I realize that I have lived a life wherein a thread of yarn is seen as ‘less than’ an entire sweater, even if the physicality of it is the same, I have placed more value onto the ‘over-wrought’ idea of who I am, while neglecting the fact that the only physicality of it is a single thread of yarn. Within this I realize that I have participated in the value-system that separates life into energy that can be either positive, negative or neutral according always seeking to be ‘the best/ the unbeatable’ as that ultimate positive experience that can only stem from this initial point of conflict as the separation accepted and allowed toward others, and seeing ‘others’ as separate from self, which is only the mind’s ego asserting its specialness in the name of self-glorification as the illusion of ‘winning.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe and be conditioned by the thought ‘all eyes are on me’ wherein I allow myself to compromise myself, my own standing here as it being ‘something’ for others, instead of realizing that with me standing in self-trust and supporting me in the most optimum way, I am simply able to expand that point of support for others in equality, wherein there is no special-generation of satisfaction ‘toward’ others, but remain self-honest in supporting me and share as to extend that same realization in equality.

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to victimize me within thinking that ‘all eyes are expecting me to fall’ wherein I eventually would retreat and ‘get away’ from the spotlight because of believing that ‘I was not able to keep up with it,’ and in that sabotaging myself by having actually heard the voices in my head that were constantly threatening me/ me threatening myself to exist in constant fear, anxiety and paranoia of not being able to follow my schedules, routine and doing things ‘my way,’ wherein I instead allow me to go to the extreme opposite of apparently ‘not caring/ being careless’ which is just a mind’s justification to make my own insecurity, my own self doubt as an experience that was triggered ‘by others’ instead of taking self-responsibility for my own creation at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in fears of ‘falling’ and projecting that onto others when ‘expecting others to fall’ in order to only prove ‘who I am’ as being ‘always right/ being self righteous’ which allows me to then feel better/ more than/ positive about ‘me remaining standing’ which means that any form of competition, rivalry, comparison is just another ingrained aspect of our human behavior in order to survive and participate in the survival of the fittest to make sure that we ‘make our space’ in the dog eat world, wherein we are taught from a very early age that we will be competing and striving to ‘make a living’ for an entire lifetime, without realizing that if we are able to give this to ourselves unconditionally, our entire starting point of human relationships will change as there will be no more energetic dependence as money, actual resources and competition of ideas of self, as all will have an ability to live in dignity.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the value-system imposed onto life, wherein I am able to compare myself against others, without realizing that each one’s lives are determined by specific aspects/ contexts that cannot possibly be ‘the same’ in two beings – therefore I realize that any thought related to a positive or negative polarity projected onto another, is simply me as ego, as personality seeking to survive and thrive upon bashing/ diminishing/ proving others wrongs as a way to prove ‘to others’ and myself that ‘I am better/ I can adapt quicker’ which implies that I have reduced my beingness, the physicality of who I am to a single idea that competes and opposes others for the sake of creating enough friction/ conflict in spite, blame and justification in order for me to be able to say: ‘I told you so, I was right’ which is just another egotistical confirmation that ‘I am my mind only’ which is the very brick of self-abuse that must be stopped at all times within myself, and stop projecting such ideas upon others in a constant manner as to be able to ‘have things working my way’ instead of always considering what is best for all life to live and stand as, wherein all beings are equally committed to develop themselves to their utmost potential and no more accept and allow seeds of anger, blame, retaliation and competition to exist.

 

I realize that within me being the point that stops ‘thinking’ about myself as an ‘ideal’ to uphold in relation to others, this point of survivalism as constant competition ends.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to perpetuate this monetary system that exists as imposed values onto ourselves/ who we are as one and equal in the name of our personal positive experience wherein our very nature is revealed as that of spite, abuse and constant competition in order for me to obtain my glory, attention and deification of who I am as personality/ energy/ ego as the mind through values that are translated into being successful/ surviving in this system wherein life is neglected and all that remains is money for one’s own personal power and glorification.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself t deny support to another just because of wanting to ‘see them fall’ and get my positive experience out of it, which is plain evil yet this is how the mind actually operates wherein we would rather see someone hanging from a cliff and get a kick out of it instead of unconditionally moving ourselves as equals wherein such extreme would not even exist as we would prevent at all times another from even getting close to the cliff, as I realize that the only one that I am spiting, abusing and excusing is myself as my own ego – thus, at all times when and I see myself waiting to see someone fall, I realize that I am only exerting the evil nature that I am here to correct, in the name of who we are as one and equal wherein all ego, all desires to win and be ‘above others’ is stopped at the very insinuation that implies seeing another fall for our own benefit and ‘position,’ rather than unconditionally supporting to walk as equals and realize that anything that leads us to ‘fall’ is self-created at a mind level = it is not who we really are and are able to stop, self forgive, correct it and make sure we do not allow ourselves to be defeated by our own participation in the mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to believe that we were born to compete and strive to get ‘the most of the cake’ within this world, wherein the ‘fall’ from another would signify one more chance for me to ‘make it’ and ‘be on top’ and ‘be the winner,’ which is only the consequence and outflow of our current monetary system that is implying that we cannot possibly exist as equals as that would imply the very death of our ideal of specialness, superiority, power and control over others, which is precisely what must be stopped in order for life in equality to be established as a living principle at all times toward all living beings in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see competition as a form of entertainment wherein I haven’t realized that I actually enjoy and get a positive experience out of seeing someone fall and get kicked-out/ lose as a way to vicariously experience the triumph in an imaginary way which is what the media’s purpose is about: generating experiences within the mind at the safety of your own couch.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not realize that who I am in this very desire of seeing someone fall is the absolute possession of evil as the evil nature of my own mind that I have accepted and allowed myself to become, wherein all that mattered is my own survival as ‘the winner’ as the one that is ‘always right’ and in this, seeing another’s fall as another triumph of my own expectations and prejudices toward others being ‘confirmed’ as ‘real,’ because of deeming the mind as something predictable and people as predictable patterns, without realizing that I am obviously within them mind also a predictable pattern that is only seeking to continue existing as that ‘self-righteous winner’ personality at the expense of the suffering and discomfort and actual disgrace that any fall may entail within a being’s life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate the fall/ the death of someone as ‘more space for me’ within the world, which is implying the ultimate self interest wherein I create only a mind relationship toward those that ‘fall’ and ‘who I am’ as one and equal is nowhere to be found, otherwise I would realize that only one that I have been spiting and separating myself from is: myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever consume myself within having constant thoughts of competition, rivalry, jealousy toward others wherein I am only ‘expecting them to fall’ so that I can finally get over with the constant conflict and be ‘alright’ again, ‘safe’ in my mind-throne, instead of realizing that I am able to stand as equal to anyone in this reality without having to create any form of rivalry, as this is only indicating that myself as the ego of the mind is wanting to exert its influence and abuse over life, which is unacceptable and I realize that it is in my hands and will the ability to stop this and any other form of separation that emerges and originates at  a through level – therefore

 

When and as I see myself participating in the very initial thoughts of comparison, jealousy, competition,  judgment toward others’ words, deeds, actions and already implying that they are ‘wrong’ and ‘I do it better,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that this pattern leads to the self-righteous spiteful act of rejoicing when others fall, which is part of the building blocks of this current monetary system that is standing as the image and likeness of who we are as survivors, as constant opponents that only seek to ‘win’ to ‘thrive’ in this world, while neglecting the actual oneness and equality of life that we actually exist as. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept a world wherein the reflection of y own desire to survive, win, be on top and in control of all is manifested as public opinion wherein rejoicing in another’s fall is a usual way of ‘having fun’ and gaining some power over others within our minds by the ability to laugh at their mistakes, falls and personal life problems – which is what political gossip, entertainment industries and any other form of media thrives upon. This implies that I have created an entire industry out of my own evil nature that is seeking to see others fall, ridicule themselves, make mistakes, reveal their ‘true nature’ – while ignoring that the only ‘true nature’ is the one that is able to pay for/ buy/ consume such type of entertainment as a way to make ourselves feel ‘good’ for a moment in the safety of our own room.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to proliferate an industry based on sensationalism wherein the reader is voyeuristically entertaining themselves through the stories/ images that depict the fall, the ridicule, the abject depiction of reality and create a ‘good experience’ of it by deeming it as entertainment, which is and has become one of the most profitable and abusive industries within entertainment, which reveals what makes the masses content is seeing another fall/ fail and ridicule themselves which proves that: this world is the undeniable creation of every single thought, backchat, spitefulness, judgment, comparison and competition that we form as Added Values to a reality that is simply physical and that should Not be subject of any form of lucre – yet it exists as a lucrative business due to the nature that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as. Therefore, all abuse begins and ends with ourselves.

 

I commit myself to stop all forms of thinking/ backchatting in relation to expecting others to fall in order to prove myself ‘right’ and feel good about it, as I realize that this is the very nature of a system that we have accepted and allowed as ‘who we are’ which is promoting the principle of divide and conquer as the way to perpetuate the illusion of power and control over others – I realize that it is only through each one of us committing ourselves to stop as this constant projection of self-interest as the desire to always  win, be on top, be powerful and  in control of others that we can establish an equal and one relationship from the realization that who we are as physical beings can coexist in  equality without requiring to fight against each other to live – within this

 

I commit myself to create and establish a world system wherein Life is the only value that exists wherein no more survivalism will perpetuate the constant strive to live, fight to be ‘on top’ and exist in any form of self-righteous ‘power over others,’ as this will be proven to be the illusion and delusion of our mind as ‘our nature’ that sought to be always ‘more’ than who and what we already are as one and equal. This implies that reality as a living-physicality does not require to fight against each other to thrive, it is only the mind that seeks constant conflict in order to gain the most energy from it to continue existing and perpetuating itself as the occupier of this physical reality – which only implies that I commit myself to give myself back to myself all the relationships of separation that I have created as my mind, as the nature of ‘who I am’ as the result of the initial separation that I chose to ‘live’ within my exertion of self-righteousness over matter, over the physical – of which the consequences are now being visibly realized by all participants in this world.

 

I commit myself to reveal how it is that it is absolutely possible to exist as equals the moment that all forms of separation is stopped within our own minds, which implies that I walk the process to first stop me as my own backchat and participation in any form of comparison and projected superiority/ inferiority toward others in order to be able to stand in equality with other human beings walking the same process in order to finally stand as the new human nature that we all want to be and exist as, once that we have freed ourselves from our own cage that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as in/ as our own minds.

 

I commit myself to expose the evil nature of our beingness that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become that rejoices in seeing others fall, in ridiculing and mocking others in the name of personal power wherein the only statement that is being presented is ‘I only feel good about myself when seeing others’ misery within falling’  and exposing the great profit that such vicarious entertainment is generating in this world, which proves that we would rather enjoy seeing others’ misery than walking a process to stop such evil nature and dare ourselves to become the point that stops any form of abuse toward another in the name of ‘personal power’ that can only exist as a form of abuse using the very life that keeps us breathing/ alive in the name of a mindfuck that gives a temporary kick as pleasure, as an addiction that we have all been consumed with/ and gotten money from.

 

I realize that the mind is able to be re-programmed, re-educated in order to serve life, serve all as equals wherein we act, speak and do that which is at all times considering life in equality – who am I as one and equal, which implies that there is no way to further continue our own separation if we are only directing ourselves according to the physical reality that is here to work with in tangible and physical matters that pertain all in this reality.

Thus, to stop the con-fusion and self-doubt that is experienced within a world wherein everything is just lies to make money, we have to make ourselves our own point of self-direction through developing common sense in a proper structure of self-support,  such as walking the Desteni I Process  as a lifetime commitment to Learn How to Live and start stopping the usual nastiness that comes when seeing others as ‘more’ than ourselves and waiting them to fall so that we, in our secret mind – can always end up winning against others. The only way to stop seeing your fellow human as an enemy is through walking the opposition and discord existent within ourselves, individually toward ourselves  through writing, applying self forgiveness and developing self-honesty to finally start living in consideration of who we are as one and equal.

Dare to expose the real evil in you as it is only through revealing to each other the very ‘secrets’ in our minds, that we can stop that binding bondage to our own damnation that emerges from a single thought that we accept in the name of personal power and identification – thus, through making ourselves aware of this, we are able to start getting to know ‘who we are’ within seeing others fall, who we are within participating in gossip, who we are within watching media/ news that make fun of politicians – who we are within bashing others in the name of personal glorification as ‘knowing better,’ while neglecting the fact that life has no preference, life has no value, life is not knowledge and life will never exist in a mind that believes itself to be superior to anything or anyone in this reality.

 

It’s Life’s way now.

 

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