Tag Archives: control

588. Physically Slowing Down

 

Or how I’ve been focusing on and starting to live the ‘physical pace’ or ‘breath pace’ of what it means to live moment by moment in the physical.

 

For a few weeks now I have been deliberately focusing on slowing down in my day to day living, in the minute details of my ‘everyday actions’ wherein I did get to notice or acknowledge how there was this constant form of ‘haste’ or ‘rush’ within me in virtually every movement that I’d take. The interesting thing is that it might not even have been noticeable on the outside or within me at a conscious mind level, but there was a definitive pressure or rush existing within me in every move.

 

An example is when washing dishes where within this experience of ‘doing things diligently’ I would get to wash them, but still would be rushing through it, very subtly experienced within my body even if the outside movements were ‘normal’ or ‘slow’ but it was still there as some form of control/tension that one experiences in the body.

 

So in those moments I would deliberately stop myself from being in that ‘automated drive’ which had become the constant way I had in fact experienced myself in my physical body before, and would instead deliberately do things ‘slowly’ as defined by myself in that moment, meaning doing them actually at a physical-pace, at a ‘breath pace’ which means not being driven by a desire to ‘get it done’ or ‘be over and done with it to move to the next thing to do!’ where I am slightly moving ‘forward’ all the time and not being fully present in those moments, because of perceiving that I have to already be ‘doing what I’m going to be doing next’ in my mind.

 

I had to also at the same time work with and debunk all of these ideas about having to be doing ‘many things at once’ or being ‘super productive all the time’ and in that forgetting about ‘taking some fresh air and smell the roses’ type of approach because I had been entirely geared to constantly ‘doing’ things and not giving some time to myself, which I have also been doing more so in the past months, but now it’s not only about ‘what I do’ for myself, but also ‘who I am’ in every moment of my ‘awake’ state during the day, which has been quite cool.

 

This experience of rush or ‘looking forward’ all the time in a very physical level would be felt like a tension, a tightness, a ‘control’ point experienced as rigidity – another word to describe it can be an anxiety get things done, to complete the task, which has been a very, very ingrained thing within me since I was a child and I’d rush to get things done and be ‘done with it.’

 

Here I’ve also been looking at this desire to ‘get things done’ wherein it implies a slight desire to be ‘over and done with it’ wherein I would only focus on the result/the end point of it instead of actually being aware of who I am in the whole process of doing something, being present, being aware, being in this ‘slowed down’ physical experience, instead of already projecting to the end of it, or ‘wanting to get done with it’ which would also indicate I am not entirely here as my physical in the process of doing something, but I am in some way resisting it, disliking it, which I then open up in the moment to see ‘what is the experience’ I’m having right now, self forgive the experience and then decide to live words like focus, attention, slowing down, living in the moment and most importantly doing it the best way that I can to integrate myself in my physical body, instead of living ‘through the eyes of my mind’ which were of haste, rush and also only doing ‘what I prefer doing’ in one way or another.

 

I saw how upon placing myself to deliberately ‘slow down’, there was an irksome physical-internal experience that would initially emerge upon deciding to slow down, like a form of antsy/restlessness/anxiety that would want to ‘go back to rushing, doing it fast, be done with it’ and in this I would become aware of how I was in fact rushing, but I would justify it with wanting to obtain ‘maximum efficiency’ in terms of time for example, which then relates to how even if I didn’t perceive myself having a ‘battle against time’ at a conscious level – meaning I would not be ‘thinking of time’-  it was still me very much existing as this battle of time within me, because this ‘rush’ and ‘haste’ has all to do with me ‘looking forward’ to things, which I have then become more aware of throughout these past weeks, resulting in what has become more of a defined slowed-down pace within me altogether which has become quite noticeable in various ways.

 

I’ve noticed that I no longer feel the need to ‘rush’ in doing these small day to day things, like within doing dishes or cooking or preparing something that actually takes time – and yes, even in painting where in the past I would rush my way through it and now based on what I’ve been challenged to paint, I just can’t rush through it or I screw it up.

 

I also realized that upon seeing certain kinds of artistic expressions, I got to place myself in their shoes and see ‘who would I have to become to draw like that’ and it all had to do with extensive patience, slow-pace and focus, which are things that I’ve definitely been focusing on living in these ‘moment to moment’ situations, and that I’ll be also integrating more into artistic expression as well for a change, lol, and will see how it goes but I already had a taste of that and it was cool to see how every now and then there was this desire for me to just ‘be done and over with it’ – so upon catching myself doing so, I would then deliberately re-settle myself to this ‘slowing down’ mode, which for the effect of doing so means ‘doing things slowly’ within me until it becomes more of a more natural pace where there’s no haste going on in my mind and I am stable and quiet within myself doing what I need to do with it.

 

I also got some cross reference from the people that know me the best like my mother where she had often complained about my anxiety to always ‘move fast’ and ‘get things done fast’ and ‘speed up’ in traffic and things like that lol, which I am totally aware I did and I in fact explained to her how I had been deliberately focusing on slowing down in all those details within me and the interesting thing is that she had in fact noticed this, which is a cool cross-reference.

 

Somehow it has become the ‘new constant state’ of being within me, where there’s this physical experience of slowing down and I’ve tested this for the past last 2 weeks more so, how even if I would ‘want’ to rush, it’s like physically I am not just ‘into it’ anymore – and yep I can only see this as a result of having been applying myself in this focus/attention to the detail of what it means to ‘slow down’ in every moment and how upon doing so in a constant manner, it kind of has started becoming the ‘new me’ in my physical experience, which I find very interesting to say the least because ‘rush’ and ‘haste’ and a bit of a constant haste or ‘anxiety’ had become a very ingrained part of my physical body, not in the sense of being ‘stressed’ at a conscious manner, but more at a physical tension level that I thought was ‘the normal me’, and now I’m realizing that there is possibility to in fact be in the moment and ‘slow down’ at an internal and so external level and how that changes the way that I approach not only myself but others, and how bit by bit I go moderating this ‘intensity’ that I would also experience as myself coming more from an energetic experience at an internal level, rather than as an expression which I’d link more now to a self-enjoyment, being comfortable in my own skin and voice so to speak.

 

Now, this is maybe an initial phase because I have become aware of the many ‘small things’ that indicate there’s some kind of deeply ingrained form of anxiety, and here I have to say that I had not considered myself as an ‘anxious’ person any longer, yet at a physical level I’ve definitely become more aware of this ‘tension’ that can come up even in simple things like arriving to a certain place in time, where yes before process I would go already tensing up, being nervous throughout the whole trajectory. And now as I’ve been walking for almost a decade of it – I’ve been able to notice how in constantly redirecting myself to be stable, to let go of ‘wanting to get there on time’ and all of these ‘antsy’ things I’d experience, I can let go of the rush at a conscious level.

 

It is only fairly recently that this has become more of a physical experience as well, which I find very interesting, new to me – by all means – and enjoyable considering that there is like this ‘inertia’ that I have to still redirect within myself to not give into this ‘rush’ but, the interesting thing is that I cannot physically give myself into it anymore, which is quite new to me as well.  

 

I also found Matti’s vlog supportive on this point How I Find the Extra in the Ordinary so check it out as well, he explains different dimensions of it but still points out towards the same outcome: slowing down, being fully doing what one is doing in the moment, physically being stable, taking one point at a time, not ‘rushing’ in the mind, not ‘moving forward’ towards ‘the next task’ when doing something completely different in that moment, not creating a battle against time and disregarding what one is busy with and also realizing how we can use these ‘simple’ moments of day to day living as constant reminders to ground ourselves back into the physical pace, because even if I had understood the theory of it and maybe made some adjustments in my relationship to ‘rushing’ at a conscious level, living it physically as my ‘physical pace’ is definitively a new thing for me which I have to now continue to integrate, cultivate and establish as ‘the new me.’

 

Ok, I’ll share more updates as I go and if needed, such as how certain physical movements like rubbing my feet against each other, or pinching some parts of my body or touching my hair or ‘fiddling with something’ while talking on the phone or with someone can indicate other levels of internal experiences that I’ll be placing more attention on because I’ve been able to stop myself in doing them, and then notice that there was this ‘tension’ in a certain muscle group, to then see and try ways to ‘relax’ at a muscular level in that area which then connects to the process of breathing the tension or ‘involuntary movements’ and consciously decide to ‘let go’ of whatever ‘control’ point I was holding on to at a mind level – existing as a very in-depth fear’ for example as well, and move through it in a physical manner, by deciding to relax, let go and in that ‘loosening up’ myself specifically in the area of my body where this ‘tension’ was showing up as these ‘involuntary movements,’ which is also a cool way to ‘slow down’ at a physical level, but that’s the next level of self-awareness to work with for myself and I’ll report back once I go specifying it.

 

Thanks for reading

 

For more support on this, please check out the process of Living Words at SOUL (School of Ultimate Living) with Sunette Spies 

 

 

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


577. Creative Expansion

Or reflecting on the nature of absolutism and how to learn from others to transform it into a supportive expression

I had a laugh with myself while listening to this audio here My Life of Absolutism (Part 3) – Life Review because I tend to do so when something or someone reflects me back to myself in such an accurate way, and it also can be a temporary way to cope with the blunt image of myself through someone else’s words to then take it through an actual assimilation of what that description of this person as being an ‘absolutist’ means and the consequences it created in his life. I could see myself in his shoes and even wondered that if I had been a male, I would have probably taken it even one step further just like he did towards people.

An interesting thing that has also been quite present for the past month or so is my relationship with people that to me represent the opposite of ‘absolutism,’ people that are more ‘free flowing’ or have learned to stand in the system yet ‘twist it from within’ and not in an antagonistic manner, but more like being able to stand within it/as it and change it from within or assist in reflecting back the nature of the system in a fun way evidencing that there is something we have to change about it within ourselves.

I’m talking about artists for the most part and how there are times when I create specific ‘fixations’ towards certain artists/people/individuals that appear ‘attractive’ to me but not in a physical attraction mode only, but more in the sense of looking at the words they rare living and expressing in how they live/who they are, at least in anything that I have access to at the moment.

I noticed that I created this same experience towards an artist called Morten Traavik, who to me initially appeared to be quite the ‘absolutist’ kind, very frank, direct, diplomatic yet almost ‘militant’ in how he approaches things but not within the context of aligning to ‘how things are’ but in the context of transgressing the system, without opposing it but ‘hacking it from within’ with a lot of finesse so to speak. He’s managed to create artistic projects with North Korea who are supposed to be this very closed-up and censoring nation, and has managed to create artistic events between his country Norway and North Korea, all of it through him creating relationships of trust over time with the people there. He said something quite interesting in one of his talks “if real dialogue is what you want, then you have to be prepared to learn from people you don’t like” and

“If you really want to test your own limits of tolerance and to try something new and something fresh, deal with somebody you would not like to deal with”

A lot of what absolutism represents to me is a unilateral perspective on what I’ve believed is ‘my way’ as ‘the right way’ and ‘how things have to be’ where I’ve invariably created a counter-part that I’ve then by default defined as ‘the opposite’ of everything I’ve stood for, and I didn’t realize how I was ‘by default’ again creating this separation by becoming absolutist in my ways.

The reason why I didn’t question this before is because I judged the things I stood for as ‘the right ones’ as the ‘noble ones’ and the principles that ‘everyone should stand by and live for’ which made it difficult for me to realize how I was in fact at the same time becoming rigid, unilateral, constricted and limited within such militant stance – not that the word ‘militant’ is ‘bad’ either because I found there is a way to live it without the ‘absolutism’ in it, which at the same time leads me to say that it’s not that absolutism cannot be redefined either, both words can be lived in a supportive manner which I’ll get to explain later on.

So, what does that ‘attraction’ represented to me in this time of my life? And I have to here outline that it’s not the usual kind of attraction as it’s usually experienced, but it’s more of a curiosity to want to know more about the person, how they got to be ‘who they are’ and express/live the way they do, which to me is a representation of self-trust through having had a lot of experiences of ‘going for it’ to create things and finding out what works, what doesn’t work, but overall Daring to do so, which is something I’ve been writing about. But I find it very useful to take on examples from other people living certain words in their lives to see how they ‘got to do so’ in practical terms. That’s how I’ve transformed a merely superficial experience of ‘attraction’ into actually getting to see what words that person that I am creating this experience towards is living that I can integrate and live for myself as well.

I wanted to share about Morten because in the way that he works and how he relates to people, he’s quite political in nature and I can see myself having similar stance and ways, yet he is not standing within the ‘current system’ of politics as is, but has taken his current position from within the system to hack it, to use it to expand its horizons, to expose it, to transgress it and to me that is quite innovative and takes a lot of guts.  

I would very much like to do something like that, maybe not in ‘the same way’ he’s managed to do at those political and diplomatic levels, but in my own context and current living situation, while also considering potentials for the future in it.

I got to know of him through watching the Laibach documentary going to play in North Korea called ‘Liberation Day’ which I definitely enjoyed, more so from the perspective of what this whole event represents ‘for the world’ in politics and culture and seeing the role that the film’s director had in it all, which is Morten in this case.

The band in itself represents an artistic mirror for fascism by becoming it, not going ‘against it’ but fully embodying it to then make art within/as it and expose it to itself. I consider that’s been quite a unique way of doing art and that’s how I’ve also looked at words like absolutism and militant which somehow I can resonate with a lot, but not within the context of the actual control they imply to limit, to exist in fear, to dictate, but more as expressions I can use to stand as that resolve, that rotund expression of life, of ‘this is who I am and what I stand for’ without standing ‘against’ anything or anyone, but learning to embrace and be flexible in it all at the same time, which may sound contradictory in theory, but that’s where the challenge begins, to stop seeing things ‘black or white’ and instead live words, aspects of words, what’s best for the words within a supportive starting point. It’s like learning to transcend those limitations created through those words/concepts by using them at the same time. I can live those words in a supportive manner as well.

What this artist represents to me is the courage to do what no one else would have maybe dared to do, to transcend limits that have been imposed through politics and cultural definitions and directly work with the people, establishing relationships with ‘the unthinkable’ which is represented in the quotes I placed from him above.

To me those are key words because I’ve become so used to ‘follow my own lines’ that I know I am limiting myself in my self-creation process if I only think in those ‘usual terms’ and that’s definitely the challenge here for me: to step out of ‘myself’ and see reality with a different pair of eyes, which means, stopping living in an absolutist manner where I think that ‘where I am and how I am is the right way and with the right principles and there’s nothing else to look at discovering or changing’ which of course also makes my life boring, because I am creating my own stagnation if I don’t dare to challenge even those tenets that I believe are ‘who I am and will always be’ by now… now that’s really pushing the envelope to me and even writing about it a little bit of an experience wants to emerge in the sense of saying ‘”Nooo! you can’t do that!” But who decides, really, who’s the real policeman in my head?

I have learned from innovative and ‘ahead of our time’ people – mostly artists – that in order to get anywhere, one has to dare to do things that would have been conceived as impossible or ‘out of the norm’ or ‘going against the tide’ by most – but without the antagonism in itself, because it’s not about fighting the system, not about just criticizing it – but having the cunning ways and skills to be entirely and fully into it to step into that self-authority of being in it but not of it, which is what I’ve seen Morten has managed to do with his art and projects, getting to speak  to certain ‘authorities’ in events about politics and culture and stand in the podium and make everyone question if the term ‘cultural diplomacy’ is in fact a paradox lol – that’s the kind of people that from my perspective we all need in all areas/spheres of our lives and this world, daring to have some guts to stand in those ‘echelons’ and speak things as they are, and that involves some words like courage, understanding, confidence, self-trust, frankness to express that, without holding his own views as ‘the right ones’ but in fact mentioning the importance of learning from each other for growth and expansion – his own words there.

I’ve never stopped referencing people that I’ve come to ‘admire’ or ‘be attracted to’ in order to see what words are they living that I can integrate into my own life and live it as myself. And most of them are artists or creative people in the formal sense of the world, which confirms that I am at the right place in what I choose to continue forming myself as and being within the realm of arts, and understanding art as self-creation from the individual to the existential sense, and I am rather grateful there are human beings I get to know and have relationships with that have challenged myself over the years to step out of my own cocoon, because every time it has pushed me to see life differently.

I’d find it very difficult if not impossible to do that if I was ‘a man living on an island’ so to speak, being alone and this is when I am grateful for every person that dares to put themselves out there, their creations, their experiences that I can reference and learn from, be it through artistic expressions like arts, music, films, documentaries or sharing their own writings in walking through their minds and day to day experience. To me that’s one way where I go opening myself up from this absolutism and rigid ways in which I’ve come to exist and go embracing more ways, more perspectives that can assist me to expand, grow and develop myself to where I definitely want to be living in and expressing as in my life, which I have no finite or settled outcome for, because I will precisely be flexible in testing out various ways while having a ‘settled direction’ which is to support myself, to push my own limits, to find out ‘who I am’ in my decisions and choices, learn from mistakes and  live life that way in the best way I can create for me and so for others at the same time – no longer having this finite ‘idea’ about myself or ‘who I should be’ because that is absolutist in nature, it is restrictive – but have an open floor from which I can allow myself to flow with it, to learn to trust myself in it, to dare to do things, to not ‘fear’ and be scared of stepping out of my eggshell and really live life without fear, because that’s the point that absolutism represents to me ultimately, a dimension of fear as control that I ultimately have to let go of in order to really grow.

 What does living in an absolutist and militant manner mean to me currently? Being absolute in my resolution, self-trust and capacity to walk through/ live through something and find who I am in it, in a holistic way – not half-assed, but testing out something fully, to live fully in a way which can only be done from my perspective if letting go of fear. To persevere, to stick to what I plan on doing, to be focused and determined in creating something and getting to see the result of it as my creation and be responsible in it, to own it as ‘my creation’ for the better or to learn from it as a mistake. To be efficient and patient at the same time acknowledging the work and dedication anything in this creation requires, so that’s a way in which I can be absolute and militant in my stance, without the morals, the fears, the judgments and self-imposed limitations I had lived as before.

And how do I eventually walk out of this ‘fixation’ towards a particular person? Once that I start living those words/aspects I see them living and integrate them into my own life, so, that’s what I’ll do from here on within my own life, living context and capacity.

Thanks for reading and, definitely have a listen to these supportive audios to reflect back on one’s own absolutism and so see where and how one can start creating the first steps to expand and grow out from it into a supportive manner.

My Life of Absolutism – Life Review

My Life of Absolutism (Part 2) – Life Review

My Life of Absolutism (Part 3) – Life Review

 

 If you don't try nothing will ever happen

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


564. Too Quick To Judge and Reflective Aftermath

Or how to walk through an emotional reaction, deconstruct it and see what’s there for me to learn about it

I had quite an experience today after watching the documentary called ‘Machines’ by Rahul Jain during the annual Documentary Festival Ambulante here in Mexico, of which I’ve been quite an avid assistant of for some years now. The reason why I watched it is because the topic interested me and the director was there to have a chat Q&A session afterward, which is where the whole point of ‘being too quick to judge’ emerged in me and that I’ve been looking at for a few hours now.

The documentary is about Indians working in textile industry for over 12 hours a day with minimal pay, the typical slave-job scenario yet shot quite ‘beautifully’ in the sense that you truly get to experience the dread of being in the factory and the noises of the machines, the repetitiveness, the heat, the dread that workers there – including young men as well – go through on a daily basis out of needing the money of course. I also found it quite eye opening in terms of textile creations and how fabric industry and ultimately fashion’s primer matter is created through the usual exploitative means just like everything else in our reality.

So, I actually liked the documentary in the sense that it opened myself to a reality that I had not have an opportunity to ‘vicariously witness’ before. I didn’t have a good time throughout it because there was a guy sipping some cheap alcohol throughout the whole documentary, and I started feeling very weird and reacting to that; ultimately it really got me feeling very off and almost sick, just like I would feel like when drinking alcohol in my younger years. I cannot know exactly how this happened, maybe the smell got me ‘activating’ some memories or maybe I was pissed off about the whole situation of someone ‘sipping on alcohol’ and ‘having a good time’ while watching a documentary that to me was actually quite sad and in essence quite a terrible working situation, though not as gruesome as the one that I watched last year called ‘Behemoth’ which truly accentuates the drama of slave-labor in China’s coal mines, the hell that the workers go through, living in abject poverty while at the same time being surrounded by the infamous Ghost Cities. Anyway, that was another story that I didn’t even get to tell about at that time because I could not find anything to say about that one documentary, no direction to it other than what it currently is as the consequence it is.

Back to this day after the documentary screening, the director and photography director – who happens to be Mexican – were there to answer questions. There were lots of people considering this documentary just won some awards in Sundance, so there I was being curious to see what the hype was all about. I made the first question to him about what was his reaction when the workers would talk to the camera and ask him to do something to change their situation, they were demanding an 8 hour work day instead of 12 plus and better wages, they asked humanity to wake up – and the response from the director is that he didn’t have any, he had no answer to them, and yes I understand he could not change anything of their situation, but he couldn’t either in that moment explain what that moment was for him, but simply said that ‘nothing’ came up, which I took as a ‘whaaat?? How can you??’ type of reaction, and the photography director probably understood my question a bit better and said that at the end of the documentary he simply had many more questions about our reality, and that’s it.

The rest of the questions were a bit more into the photography and the ‘beauty’ of it which is where the word ‘disconnect’ started coming up in me. I could not fathom that people were more focused on the beauty of how these textiles ‘flowed’ and how it was so nicely shot, while we had just witnessed the gruesome working experiences of probably millions if not billions of people not only in India but around the world and… well here is where I have to create the ‘alert’ explanation of what ‘MY WAY’ or MY expectation was about having an aftermath chat with the director geared to create an awareness about these people’s lives and the rest of it, or expecting some ‘societal change’ after it but the reality is that it’s also quite new, it hasn’t even been shown in India yet, so there I go with my ‘being too quick to judge’ position where some of these documentaries do end up having an effect in reality, but they do require a lot of hype and screenings so that people can start becoming aware of these mirrors that documentaries are for sure.

Another lady expanded on my question so as to see how shooting this documentary had changed the director’s life but he said that he didn’t change much because it’s not like stopping purchasing clothes will change a thing, or these people would go out of work, but I still didn’t get my expected ‘personal insight’ there and that’s when I simply lost interest = when I wasn’t getting the director’s insight that I expected based on previous experiences in similar screenings and their directors/creators.

To me this was a complete turn off and final point where people were asking how they had experienced the environment in the factory and the photography director responded with saying that the molecules around there felt hot and there was a heat from the machines and that he created his own environment, which I took as another ‘disconnected’ answer based on MY expectations of wanting to hear how draining or emotional it had been for him to witness the lives of these people, and in a way I went into the pattern of again seeing artists as detached voyeurs that use people’s suffering as their subject for fame, fortune, recognition and prizes through their films and the rest of it. So, at that point I felt physically ill due to my experience towards the guy sitting next to me, which is something I had never before experienced in this festival and it’s to me also quite a saddening experience that someone has to be drinking alcohol while watching other people’s misery, but that’s also a judgment and my own expectation of how I would want everyone else to also be eating their ‘heart’ as I perceive myself to have been doing, but, am I also not only just a comfortable voyeur of these situations through a movie? And so whatever I believe I experienced ‘towards others’ is in fact towards myself, in a way it was a deep sadness that I again become aware of these situations in a very ‘in my face’ manner and we haven’t yet been able to do something substantial about it, nor do I see a ‘soon end’ to it all either, yet I understand the level of consequences we’ve created as well.

I remember this is also the reason why I slowed down a lot from watching documentaries on my own, because it gets to a point where you can be so aware of many things going on in the world, but there’s the risk of falling into the helplessness, hopelessness and disempowerment oblivion when perceiving one cannot do anything at all to change these people’s lives right away, and that’s an actual fact and truth that we have to live with for the most part; yet that I still find myself getting caught into it and going into a covert blame point towards people, the directors, the whole notion of making of people’s suffering a subject of ‘appreciation’ and ‘award winning’ situations, but bear with me this is all currently having to do with my judgments, my expectations and ideas of how I wanted the whole discussion to go, how I wished that there was no human being drinking in this world and how I wish that all people in privileged positions such as myself could have some kind of open dialogue about our responsibility to create a better world for ourselves and the generations to come, which begins with stepping aside form indifference or apathy about the world’s situation.

I ended up leaving the Q&A only to dive into a whole walk of going into a very deep sadness and sorrow and I could exactly recall the various times that similar ‘episodes’ have happened in my life. It’s been always related to watching documentaries about the harsh reality and survival conditions in the world where I get ‘triggered’ by all that I get to see and become aware of, where I tend to sink into crying and being sad or angry at myself or others – or both – about the situations that people are going through in this world.

And in a way get angry at myself being just a privileged person that can sit around watching documentaries and am in fact so detached from many of these people’s lives yet they are also here, they are also a part of what’s here as myself, we are in fact equals and it ends up bothering me that yes, I cannot do much to change their particular situation and that I can only make sure I can be that one person that changes in my ways of living and approaching others and their situations, to do and be whatever best I can to continue living the principles where we can become supportive toward ourselves and one another, and to not lose track about myself and my life purpose based on how I perceive others’ words or interactions or sheer approach to this kind of discussions or documentaries.

Bottom line is I cannot expect people to see and understand or even approach these documentaries the same way that I do, nor can I imply that the way I approach them is the right way either. All of it is simply a reflection of myself and where I am in my life, where I see that I have yet to not generate contempt and disappointment towards other people upon seeing that they are not ‘responding’ the way I expected, because I was in a similar open discussion on Friday – yesterday actually – about religious hatred and that was a very cool one on the documentary ‘Forever Pure’ from director Maya Zinshtein, which was actually quite opening to me considering I have walked through a particular contempt about a faction that is presented in her documentary and instead, learn to see humanity or any other human as a reflection of myself /ourselves which she also did in her documentary about the religious hatred that exists between Jews and Muslims, and that’s a whole other story in itself but it was refreshing to see the kind of dialogue that opened up in that documentary and I went out of there being grateful that I had yet another perspective on documentaries being a mirror to see ourselves so that we can form our own conclusions about the points that we have to work with, such as in my case, to not create contempt towards those that bully others, otherwise I’d become the bully and hatred-recycler myself, which became quite clear within me while watching that documentary which is absolutely recommendable because it’s really not about ‘soccer,’ but about who we’ve become as humanity and hatred in general.

So, after I walked through my discharge of emotions, I realized that this time I wasn’t going to ‘drop the towel’ and go into the usual bashing of films or documentaries or art in general as a silly way to pretend to make any change in the world, because it’s not about that, but about who one is within what we do. And this time I made the decision to use these moments of weakness and not dive into the past-experience of saying ‘there’s no point in this’ and instead said ‘Ok, if no one else is seeing what I see can be done with arts, then I have to be that person that presents what I see is possible with the use of arts in any of their forms.’

In a way I used this weakness and moment of going into an emotional reaction about what I experienced or ‘saw’ in that moment to reassure my position and decision to do my part in arts and use it within the same context that I use these blogs, to process myself, to still walk through the various reflections and ‘meta’ analysis that I end up having while watching a documentary, while interacting with the audience that watches such documentaries and using that whole experience as another way to see where I can fine tune myself, where I am becoming emotional, where I am wanting others to have the exact same ‘realizations’ as I do when watching something, where I am expecting all film makers to do things because they want to ‘change or better the world’ we live in. . . because this is entirely MY desire, my perception, my starting point and I have to learn to embrace people’s different points of view and starting points, because not everyone will approach ‘arts’ as a platform to ‘change the world’ no matter how focused this festival in itself might be geared towards that, each creator has their own starting point.

Another bottom line is: I have to accept that not everyone sees the world or reality the same way I do, and that not everyone will have the same objective as I see within arts, film or any creative endeavor, I cannot ‘force’ others to do it either – nor do I have to go into the hopelessness of ‘there’s not hope for humanity’ if or when seeing that some people might not necessarily ‘care’ in that same way. I actually just saw an interview done with the director I just talked about and I could see how I might have been in fact too quick to judge considering that he seems to be working on similar subjects for his next films, which means that maybe he’s not that ‘great’ with words and explaining his perspectives, but the fact that he is investing his time, money and work on creating documentaries/films about environmental issues is already denoting an interest that even if it doesn’t have a clear purpose, they serve as works to learn to reflect about ourselves, so he explains that in this video:  Sundance 2017 Winner MACHINES Dir Rahul Jain

So, I am now seeing the clarity that I lacked a few hours ago when only getting caught up in the emotional aspect but, I also saw that I didn’t allow myself to go really ‘down’ as I used to in the past and remain in some sort of emotional self-manipulation, but actively made the decision to let it all out, to do some ‘ranting and raving’ for myself which served as an initial platform for me to then be able to start looking at a clear direction for myself within it all and this blog is also a part of that for sure where I don’t claim that there’s absolute clarity in it all, but it does contain some major directives for me to focus on and consider: not expecting others to see things the way I see them, my way is not the ‘right’ way, each one has a different process, not judging a person based on a 10 minute interaction or hearing their words and jumping into conclusions about ‘who they are’, being open to people’s approach and perspectives even if they are not geared to ‘change the world’ type of starting point, be willing to learn from others’ approaches and continuing to find ways to best approach situations like having a person drink next to me where if I am bothered then I have to change the spot and if there’s no other option like it happened today, then I can instead let go of the judgment and focus on whatever I am watching there.

There’s probably some more points for me to open up but for now at least I got some more clarity. I am forgiving myself for having accepted and allowed myself to become emotional and in essence jump into conclusions about other people based on my expectations and my ideas of ‘how things should be’ where I have to instead learn to embrace people, their perspectives, their starting points and learn from them instead of discriminating them because of them not ‘seeing life the same way I do.’

So this is a constructive shame about my  reactions and actions afterward, I didn’t make of it a big deal ‘against others’ though, but I did make it a big deal in the moment within myself, so best thing to do is to realize: ok I got triggered, what is this about, let the emotions out and be determined to walk through it and keep an eye on similar situations from now on, so that I can ground myself back into common sense rather than getting lost and trapped into my own ‘ideas’ of how things should work and be in reality.

Thanks for reading

 

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


563. From Present Tense to Present-Here and Slowing Down

Or walking through fears that create a physical tension within a new experience

I noticed tension upon having to be learning to drive, it is one of those things where of course I’m not at all used to it therefore the initial fear that comes with it manifests as a form of tension in my body where after some 40 minutes of holding the wheel my hand was quite sore for a moment, which made me realize how tense I was while learning the whole thing in my first day, today after having completed the second day of driving it was already quite less, but I made sure to write the following blog yesterday so that I could become aware of all of these points while having to practice again today.

I’m also learning to embrace these initial fears and have a clear idea on how the only way to transcend these fears that I had created about driving – and the plethora of possible scenarios – are only in my mind and that when one is ‘at the wheel’ all that is here is myself/my body having to follow specific steps that require my focus and attention on every single thing that happens in every moment. What I mean by embracing the initial fears is specifically related to not wanting to deny, suppress or make myself appear ‘stronger’ than this fear that manifests as a tension, otherwise my whole attention would go ‘up there’ in the mind, wanting to ‘fight the fears’ and I would then end up not being fully present in physical reality in the moment when I was having to be paying full attention to the guy giving me the instructions, which actually happened for a few times yesterday and a little bit less today, but still made the same mistakes which I’ll outline here.

I noticed how I wasn’t listening to him at first, but instead I was using ‘tension’ in my body as a form of control, when in fact that only makes it all much harder and physically draining – and even now several hours after such exercise yesterday, I had a mild headache – which is something familiar to me whenever I get too tense about something that I am trying to control through fear, instead of focusing on self-control as in remaining stable, present, calm which translates into more of an ease at a physical level. Today I noticed the tension and deliberately would make the change to hold the wheel in a different manner to be more aware of how my back was doing, practicing stability throughout the whole thing which worked quite well.

There were moments while standing in the red lights or when not having to be coordinating the various steps to drive where I could manage to loosen up a bit, but I interestingly enough found myself sticking out my tongue tip and touching my upper lip, which is something that I would do as a child in fact when having a ‘superior’ as a teacher showing me to do something and where I by default would take that ‘inferior’ position of being ‘the student’ within a certain experience of ‘I can mess up many times and it can be ok’ or diminishing the mistakes with a bit of goofiness, which sure can be done the initial times, but I liked the approach of the teacher on identifying the mistakes so that I could become aware of them and not repeat them.

So what I did was voicing out the corrections, repeating the steps with my own voice because I realized how listening to him was not enough when being doing the steps myself, I would try and control the whole thing with ‘doing things quickly’ which doesn’t really work in this case, and I in fact had to slow down more and be ok with not doing it ‘fast’ right away considering that I am doing this for the first time, lol, there goes ‘Marlen’s exigency’ there with ‘speed’.

In a way this whole episode of learning to drive brought me back to my relationship to learning with or from teachers and how many times I simply would not hear them and ‘do things my own way’ which of course in some contexts might have worked for me, but in this context, the specific instructions and steps to learn this are there for a reason, which is something I fortunately realized early on in the first lesson so that I could in fact pay more attention to what he was saying – nonetheless this initial approach of ‘believing I know’ and then doing it my way of course didn’t result at all, because I then repeated the same mistakes.

Interestingly enough I witnessed a bit of the beginning of the next lesson with another woman and I noticed how she was in fact listening to the instructions and doing things much more slower which was quite apt in this case – whereas I kind of went a bit ahead of myself and due to the fear/tension I got somewhat clumsy in terms of the steps to take, which fortunately enough were only at the beginning and the rest were better, which was the result of the teacher letting me know I wasn’t listening and that I had to listen to get it done right.

It’s kind of funny though because it is so that it reveals a lot about myself and all the times that I have wanted to ‘rebel’ and ‘do things my way’ when it comes to teachers, in a way holding this ingrained belief that they are ‘holding me back’ from doing it some other faster and more accurate way, but! I realized this was not the case and that I was only kind of acting out some of my previous relationships to learning and specifically within the context of ‘teacher-student’ relationship so, it was cool to redefine it in the moment and in fact be able to recognize where I was ‘coming from’ in my initial moves, so that I can then become humble, slow myself down and in fact listen to him, which worked a lot better for both of us of course, as well as continuing voicing the steps for myself too.

I also noticed how any form of judgment created in the moment of doing what can be deemed as the ‘tricky’ or ‘difficult parts’ and repeating these ‘tenseness’ during those specific steps can lead me to eventually create a dislike, resist or create a whole polarity of ‘the good/fun/chilled parts vs. the tense/difficult/bad parts’ of driving, or creating a preference on things where I then start fearing having to ‘do’ certain things, or fearing having to confront certain situations like being on the front line of a row of cars and not being ‘fast enough’ to step on gas and get the car moving or having to get the hang out of going up a slope etc. – I would notice the tendencies to be kind of immediately judging some parts as ‘nice and comfortable’ and others as ‘difficult, tough’ which I had to also in the moment let go of and rather in a way living the word ‘embracing’ as in realizing ‘it’s all part of it’ and so seeing that creating a preference would only become a hindrance and eventual problem for me to earn and imprint within me the driving process in a stable, precise and comfortable manner, with all its parts/aspects involved.

And I have known how upon repeating those same judgments for a long time can eventually lead me to in fact resist doing something, all because of the many times I allowed myself to judge something, to fear something and feed those thoughts every single moment that this same ‘step’ or point would emerge in my reality – so, this time I let go of it and rather decided to practice to get comfortable in doing it.

Yesterday I also noticed how I was breathing more deeply in an attempt to ‘relax’ myself but the fact is that I can see where I can instead prevent creating a build up, a tension that then goes into a ‘loosen up’ and relaxation, which I have created based on the way I had experienced some points within a positive and negative experience; so that’s when I decided to not give into these perceptions and instead, see the physicality of the moves, focus on the steps, the method and taking it as is, devoid of ‘extra adjectives’ or judgments I may create in my head.

 

Therefore this time today it was much better in terms of my physical body, I don’t feel as tense as I did before after the driving lesson. I was focusing on the street, the car, the wheel, the feet and hands etc. – which for now still came through with a tension at a physical body level, but I did notice that I didn’t allow myself to run amok with fears in my mind, even though I could see my propensity to create them, I simply decided to ‘not go there’ as in ‘into them’ and keep focusing on reality and continuing practicing listening to the teacher.

One day after learning some theory and basics on getting the car going and going straight into the traffic was quite unexpected to me, but I went for it and ‘did my best’ in the ways that I’ve explained here, from changing my relationship to being told exactly what to do and initially sort of reacting to it from the past memories of ‘learning’ from others to actually seeing how it was in fact important to Hear and do things step by step as intended – lol – and slowing down. I also realized my own foolishness of how in wanting to ‘figure it out myself’ I can imprint the whole basics in a clumsy manner, which is not the point here.

I also noticed how I have a lot of memories of an aunt of mine that would pick my cousins and I from school and she usually would drive a manual car. I was at the time very judgmental about her driving, believing it was too clumsy, too slow, too unaware and now in a way I got to place myself in her shoes and so realized as well how sometimes what it takes is literally ‘placing ourselves in their position’ to then understand why it could have been something difficult for her to do and in a way also learn from those mistakes to correct them within me, I had not even realized to what extent her driving skills had created an impact on me to the point where her driving and memories of me driving in the backseat with her were coming up quite frequently while I was at the wheel, fascinating – maybe only a little bit from my sister that also drove a manual, but I got to also realize how these fears about driving a manual would come from what I perceived back then were there many ‘close to crashing’ times I had with my aunt, lol.

Therefore tomorrow I can continue reminding myself to keep an eye on my body, my hands, my legs to see ways to loosen up the ‘ingrained fears’ so that the tension at a physical body can be relieved with practice and developing an eventual comfort with it, which is why for now I can’t judge myself and my tension because it is ‘normal’ in a way at the beginning of learning  to drive, and saw that yes it is something we are not entirely ‘prepared’ for, but we sometimes cannot be; sometimes we can only be ‘as ready as we can ever be’ and take the situation as it comes while knowing that whatever comes, we can take responsibility for it, we can ‘respond’ to it, we can find ways to solve it.

For now I have to practice slowing down, because I have tended to be too ‘considerate’ of others and rush the whole thing because of not wanting to ‘waste the other driver’s time’ which is the reason why in rushing, I’d end up making a mistake and not listen to my teacher, because I was more focused on the one behind me that on my own. Man, I’ve made this same anxiety/consideration towards others even in supermarkets with trolleys, lol so I definitely know this pattern and that means I have to give myself the space to slow the fuck down, seriously. No one started doing things perfectly so, here also the drivers that start honking, I’m sure they also at some point learned to drive and probably have forgotten to be considerate towards newbies like me.

What I’m practically learning is to not judge the mistakes, realize it’s a start, it’s a learning process and rather being careful enough with the outside environment as well as within my physical body, wherein I definitely want to be able to breathe and loosen up a bit every moment that I can.

Interestingly enough what I have noticed however after these three days of lessons is myself slowing down in relation to walking and interacting with cars as a pedestrian. I have explained many times how much I judged drivers and kind of expected ‘them’ to consider ‘me’ but now upon knowing how much there is to be aware of while driving, I am now being the considerate one and developing a lot of patience when crossing the streets, not risking it, not going by ‘impulse’ so again, this ‘placing yourself in the shoes of another’ led me to truly consider the position that people are at behind the wheel and be able to consider them a lot more than I used to, which is cool and safer for me considering that ‘speed’ is quite a tendency for me, so, lol I have to truly slow down, that’s what’s best for all for sure.

Walking through fears in a physical manner is definitely only possible by actually doing it. I’ve done the same with riding a bike which I still don’t do on a regular basis after a massive fall I had some 9 years ago, and the few times I’ve taken a bike were also steps to test myself, to see how I do with riding a bike and sometimes my whole body would go into shaking mode, and the memories of the gruesome situation would come up again, but that’s where ‘moving’ myself to make a change comes in the way of Not participating within those ‘flashbacks’ and simply keeping focused and stable and breathing as a point of physical awareness that brings stability and focus for me.

I am also thankful to fellow Destonians because I’ve been aware of how some have walked through the same fears and read their self-forgiveness on it, where I could see that the way to correct the whole experience is to be present, here, be focused on one’s body, one’s reality and practice, practice, practice, as well as being ready to face whatever challenges may come in self-responsibility.

I share here then some material that can be supportive for others learning to do the same which has been supportive for me, as well as a fresh video that talks about comparison but interestingly enough also sharing a very real situation of ‘learning to do something for the first time’ and the physical process it in fact takes to do so in a comfortable manner.

 

·         The Design of Powerlessness and Disempowerment – Principled Living Cerise and Joe sharing first hand experiences on fearing driving and how they overcome it.

·         Day 298 – EQAFE Fears and Phobias of car accidents: my experience by Talamon

·         The Trap of Comparison by Sunette

 

Thanks for reading!

 

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Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE


513. How to Live the Word Control?

Or exploring the negative aspects of control in order to see the supportive potential that this word contains as well for my life

The first association that comes to this word is definitely ‘control-freak’ which is one of the things I’ve shared about throughout these blogs as an aspect to change about myself and that has been most challenging to me, and what I’ve discovered is that there are fears behind the desire to control something or someone.

What is the nature I accept and allow myself to exist as ‘control’? Looking underneath it, it’s fear and fear usually related to judgments, perceptions, ideas I have about myself of something that I want to keep ‘as is’ and so attempt to control that something or someone to remain in a particular perspective or way that ‘I want it to be’ so that it can benefit me, be my point of comfort, preference or self-interest – which means that my imposition of control over something or someone is coming from the various points of preferences, personalities, characters that I’ve become and that I’ve used as an excuse, reason or justification to want things to be a certain way, to fit ‘my idea’ of how things should be and some other times, to not have to change something in my life and remain in a comfortable status-quo.

This time I approach this word to clear it up in my immediate or conscious associations which are mostly related to negative things as I can see, stuff relating to what I have comically defined as ‘the fascist’ in me, the absolutist, dictatorial, control-freak, and bluntly wanting others to do what I consider is better or ‘more right’ according to ‘my standards.’ This is why I have been – to a certain extent – applying and living the word flexibility, to curb these impulses or automated patterns in me, but I recognize it might still be at very superficial levels where I am mostly stopping my impulse to control, but at the same time haven’t actually embraced or integrated the expression of flexibility as who I am, because many times I still catch myself having this tension as a form of ‘control’ of myself in my mind coming through in over-analyzing, being judgmental, too strict, too exigent, wanting things to be done in a particular way, etc. And this means then that there’s more to understand and integrate of the word flexibility within myself, along with tuning into the physical nature of who I am as life that needs no fears to exist, but is, expresses, lives, grows, expands, adapts, lets others be.

Here I’m getting to see that it’s not like the word control should be all things that are ‘bad’ and negative, there is another way to live this word and it is related to an ability to direct ourselves which I had considered only partially as in the expression ‘controlling one’s emotions,’ but I have mostly associated that at the same time as a way to refrain them, contain and ultimately suppress which is not at all a directive decision, but more like a ‘stopping’ without much awareness into it or understanding on why one should do that.

Self-control I see as an ability to direct oneself, I associate it with a moderation, a volition, a will that we can apply and live out as oneself. It is like living out the notion of ‘putting a guard in front of your mind or mouth’ where one can prevent consequences, prevent emotional or feeling outbursts by maintaining a continuous awareness of oneself in one’s mind and physical body and making decisions or choices that are supportive for oneself. And in times like today where a lot of the mental problems come from a point of one not being able to control one’s thoughts, experiences any longer, I see it as a primary point of self-support to develop, even more so when we already know we have certain habits, addictions, patterns that are not supportive for oneself – that’s where self-control can be applied but not only to prevent problems, but as a way to generate or develop the better aspects or potential of ourselves too.

At a world system level I have seen the word control as something that is imposed by those in elitist positions out of fear of not having people doing ‘what they will’, but at the same time within understanding our current human nature, I also see control as a needed measure considering how we have become unreliable in our own minds to in fact be, live and do ‘what is best for all’ – I mean, I would say that control is something tyrannical if we were all living completely by principles that benefit all life, but we’re not . So in essence we have created our own ‘elites’ that represent that ‘police man in the head’ in a system like this in order to keep some order; this form of control represents more of a consequence of us not learning to live and consider each other as equals, to respect, honor and regard each other in the best way possible. If that had been our ‘way of living’ then we would not be needing any form of control or external restraint, if there was self-restraint as a basic common sensical consideration that we can have in every moment to think, act and do what is best for all, then we would be living in actual ‘free societies’, but we’re not living this at the moment – hence all the systems of control that are evolved more and more over time and will continue to do so until we realize how we are causing such upgrades in control systems.

Here then bringing both dimensions from the personal to the external of the word ‘control’ and how once that I remove the fear, judgments, beliefs, preferences and personalities behind control, it can exist as a form of self-direction, of consideration, of directing ourselves to live what is best for oneself in common sense = considering everyone and everything as equal to oneself, where we no longer have to ‘maintain’ an ego, ‘maintain’ an idea or perception of oneself towards others, where we no longer have to ‘manage consequences’ but instead deciding to control oneself as the impetus of ‘speaking our mind’ as it’s usually said, where the best of us can become the directive principle in our minds, beings and bodies in every moment – and so control, direct, move, ourselves in a way that is most supportive for ourselves and so everyone else.

Where did I get the idea to investigate this word ‘control’? From the following audio Rebirth with Bruce Lee – The Crucifixion of Jesus – Part 101 that I found very supportive to expand my vision about expressing words and learning to see the word ‘control’ beyond the usual negative connotations I had imposed onto it and so, explore the ways in which I can live it and make it a supportive one, turn it into a word I can live instead of immediately linking it to a form of ‘policeman in the head’ or ‘totalitarian’ and ‘restrictive’ in a negative sense out of fear, but instead see that it is an aspect and potential of ourselves that can be lived as a form of self-discipline and ultimately as a point of self-honor and respect, to live the best of ourselves and stopping giving our breaths of life to the worst of part of us, while still then directing ourselves to work with it to understand it, self-forgive it and then decide to live and be the best version of ourselves. 

Thanks for reading

 

Three Kings

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE


462. ‘Fake News’ Crackdown Starts Within Ourselves

Or how to take an external problem and start changing it from within first.

It’s been interesting to look at the developments in relation to the media and how there’s been a mainstream media attempt to ‘black out’ alternative media or any kind of news/media that is not coming from ‘the establishment’ and making campaigns to flag it as ‘fake news,’ which is supposed to discredit and now ‘filter out’ news from appearing in social media places like Facebook based on supposed (paid by same establishment, lol) ‘third party’ fact-checkers that will have the power to decide what you get to see on your news feed as ‘real news’ and discard all things that usually represents a threat to the current system as ‘fake news’. So, that’s the latest ‘crackdown’ on people that have conducted investigative journalism in an independent and most of the times crowd-funded manner.

However upon looking at this censorship attempt by ‘the establishment’, I also took it back to myself to see what the word ‘censorship’ means in the without and so in the within of myself. It wasn’t so difficult to realize how it is directly in line with what us, people, tend to usually do whenever we see ‘the truth’ of ourselves coming through as that kind of truth that makes us ‘uncomfortable’, those aspects of ourselves that keep us in a never-ending inner conflict that we constantly try and suppress, shift aside, run away from, shove aside, leave for later to look at – while opting to keep pushing our own actual ‘made-up’ news as the ‘controlled news’ the ‘positive side only’ as our on agenda to keep an idea of ourselves in our minds and believe ‘it’s who we really are’ which is usually – but not always – a ‘better, noble, good’ representation that we like to believe is who we are, that we in fact create about ourselves as ‘our truth’ with which we interact and go with the flow in our reality.

The question is: isn’t this exactly what we see is happening ‘outside’ or in the exterior reality as this ‘alternative media crackdown’ that represents – in some aspects – that truth and real facts that we are usually supposed to remain oblivious of? Because getting to know ‘the truth’ could, in more than one way, start undermining the whole ‘empire’ of control from particular ‘factions’ that run this reality show we are living in. Here, it makes a lot of sense to me to first look within myself before I start judging how ‘bad’ it is that there’s this crackdown on alternative media, and how much ‘deception’ is going on against ‘truthers’ and people that create their own media with a seemingly honest approach.

I looked at how easily we go into victimizing ourselves, always immediately jump into looking for culprits/who to blame and join a pity-party with those that are victimized (and apparently disempowered) about the situation. But, rarely do we ever take that phenomena, that situation happening ‘outside’ of ourselves and look at it from the within.

Here then I can spot ‘censorship’ as self-suppression, self-censorship, hiding and shifting away responsibility, where we hide ourselves from our ‘true facts’ and our ‘real news’ in seeing exactly what’s going on within ourselves and to what extents we can go to sink down to the bottom all of those actual day to day experiences we’re going through as all those emotions, judgments, fears, reactions, destructive behaviors and patterns that we just refuse to look at, refuse to even attempt to change them – we usually don’t want to face them and so we pull out the card of ‘fearing’ all of it as a way to not actually face the truth of ourselves.

Well, this censoring of ourselves is exactly us in our minds, being and body playing our own ‘establishment’ crackdown on all things that represent our truth, our current actual ‘state of affairs’ that we have to work on, open up, face, confront.

What do we do instead? We put up the actual inner fake news as the ‘ideal’ state of being that we play on as a character and in various personalities with which we cover-up the actual – usually – bad experiences, problems, fears, manias, addictions, discomforts we are going through – we keep telling ourselves that ‘we’re alright, that all is under control, that there’s nothing to worry about, that we are happy and joyful’ and repeat it like a mantra attempting to numb down the actual conflictive experiences that in fact seem to grow and grow the more we broadcast our fake news within us… leading us then to a plethora of ‘mental problems’ that are more and more common these days, a lot of them I’d say based on this constant denial of what is HERE as ourselves.

Who is the ‘establishment’ in the within of ourselves in this analogy? One may ask. It is ourselves as our minds, our ‘ego’ if you will which is that part of ourselves in which we have automated our lives to be a ‘never-changing’ and ‘always conflictive’ type of persona that is always juggling with consequences, always going down the ‘downward spiral,’ always giving up to any sort of self-support, always seeking for short cuts/easy fixes and quick ways out of anything that would actually mean getting to know the (uncomfortable) truth of ourselves, to recognize, face and be willing to work with/process through all of those aspects of ourselves that we can in fact face, confront, embrace and (very important!) take responsibility for as parts of ourselves that we can then direct ourselves to actually, genuinely change.

 

See, what is the main factor driving the mainstream media crackdown against so-called ‘fake news’= alternative media/independent media & journalism? Fear of losing control, fear of losing ‘people’s minds’ and guiding everyone to a certain type of information and ‘awareness’ in order to keep the masses following as ‘intended.’

Now let’s go into the ‘within’ of ourselves, what is driving ourselves to suppress/hide/block ourselves from seeing and facing our inner reality in our minds and in our day to day experience? It’s also fear, which is nothing else but a mind/mental defense mechanism that prevents actually ‘cracking down’ our own lies and deception. Fear is nothing else but an experience that can be stopped and transcended once that we realize that there’s no point in holding on to a comfortable (lie) idea of ‘control’ over something that is not genuinely supportive in our lives!

What does this mean? Why do we hide and fear facing the actual truth of ourselves, that nasty, not nice at all, ugly aspects of ourselves and our experiences that we actually know ‘are there’ because it is causing us constant conflict, constant anger, constant depression, constant need for this or that drug or way to ‘ease the pain’? Why do we try and ‘control’ it and ‘ease the pain’ and ‘numb’ ourselves with doing anything and all we can – from drugs, to obsessive compulsive behaviors, to creating destructive relationships, to addictions to entertainment, porn, sports, food and a big ETC. – in order to keep ourselves from actually opening ourselves up, removing the self-censorship to then make a decision, a self-honest decision to Embrace, Understand, Investigate and get to know what we’ve become and so, accept and face our consequences while knowing that we can actually change from it all, how to do this? Self-Forgiveness.

There is nothing else that I’ve found as supportive and all-encompassing as our ability to self-forgive every and all aspects of ourselves that we have in fact created within ourselves, that we have continued to accept, allow and feed in various ways, that we have continued to hide from and ‘fear facing’ when in fact, there’s really no place to hide for real. It’s the same as what the ‘mainstream media’ is facing when it comes to the internet and all the ways in which regular people are building ways to continue propagating the real news, the real facts and push forward ways and means for people to be genuinely informed.

As within, so without. Same has to also happen within ourselves, and I see it happening in fact within many of us where we are no longer that fearful of seeing ‘the truth’ of ourselves and sharing it out, we are becoming more and more open to face that ‘nasty self’ if you will that we don’t have to go into guilt and shame about, but directly and straightforward push ourselves into the process of self-forgiving those points, recognizing our responsibility to our creations and acknowledge the consequences of this massive self-suppression, so that we can then start changing those thoughts, emotions, fears, destructive habits and patterns into self-supportive ways to live, learning how to effectively walk through the plethora of ‘fake news’ we’ve told to ourselves in our minds, all the lies, all the deception, the self-manipulation that each one of us has done to ourselves – and so toward others in our lives – in an attempt to represent ourselves as a ‘fake news’/better version of our reality that is no longer able to be sustained, but is now bursting at the seams so to speak which in other words means: the time is here for all of us to start pulling off that veil from our eyes, from our very own personal reality. This is the real ‘apocalypse’.

And here then is also a note on this necessity to focus more on ourselves, because we loooooove to keep ourselves in the sensationalism manufactured by the elites/establishment or however else we are calling them these days as the ‘controllers’ of it all and see ‘them’ as the problem… lol, the joke is on ourselves of course.

It’s so easy to distract ourselves, dissing the track that we can create to take us back into ourselves, our very own lives that we have to change and take responsibility, instead of keeping participating in the fear and sensationalism that is created precisely on the news to keep ourselves in our minds ‘out there’ entertained, mesmerized, feeling ‘powerless’ to do anything ‘out there’ to change anything …. Really?

That’s why the key is to look within ourselves, and that’s where the real ‘meat’ of this whole process of self-awareness is, because as long as we believe that all that matters is to be ‘well informed’ about the ‘truths out there’, we are still being caught by the balls – sorry but that’s what it is – when it comes to generating actual, real, substantial, long lasting, rooted and self-empowering change.

Therefore, change starts within ourselves for real. It starts when we actually make a firm decision to develop and integrate the principles that we are seeking ‘our media’ to do for us ‘out there’ within our lives first of all. Aren’t we quite hypocritical then when we go asking ‘others’ to do for ourselves something we haven’t even done within ourselves first?

In order to stop feeling ‘powerless’ to change things out there, let’s start with ourselves which is to be honest, even more so developing SELF-honesty as to understand how we create our own experiences, how we are the sole creators of everything we are, have become and will create in the future as well and understand this not as a ‘burden’ or ‘something too big to carry on with’ as a realization, but as an actual point of self-empowerment through taking self-responsibility of it, because it then means we have the actual ability to change things, because it’s about  doing it ourselves to ourselves!

How? Developing self-integrity, self-honesty, self-vulnerability, courage, lots of courage really to let go of the so called ‘fears’ and be willing to grab our own bull by the horns, because: it’s us! There’s really nothing to ‘fear’ except if we wanted to keep a good image of ourselves in our minds (our fake news broadcast) and fear looking at ‘all the bad’ … but, all of that ‘bad’ and ‘negative’ is ourselves in fact! We have to embrace it, we have to face it, we have to dive into ourselves and understand it so as to no further judge ourselves for it, not to go into guilt, regret, shame, remorse and create another ‘trap’ seeing no way out from there either, that’s what this process of Self Awareness at Desteni is for, is here for all of us in humanity to finally ‘wake up’ but not in the form of information and knowledge ‘out there’ to consume every day and then believe that ‘we are informed.’ Nope.

This process is an actual self-investigative journalism that can then become the new ‘media’ as these blogs sharing the keys and support on how to do it yourself. And that is definitely life changing to the point where surely, you will still be able to identify ‘fake’ and ‘real’ news because once one has identified the deception, the lies, the dishonesty within oneself makes it very easy to spot the same ‘on the outside’ – but the most important part is that this reality that we uncover within ourselves and we then take through a process of personal change, growth and expansion becomes something that cannot be banned or ‘removed’ from us, unless we decide to ‘go back into hiding’; it cannot be ‘censored’ by anyone or anything ‘outside of ourselves’ because we are standing as full authors of ourselves in our every thought, word and deed in ways that we realize is best for ourselves and so best for all in equality. That is what real power means to me really, and that’s what I call real change as well, where that simple decision to not ‘follow through’ our usual experiences, our ‘usual thoughts’, our selfishness, our emotions in fact becomes the real ‘revolution’ if you will, one that no ‘elite’ or no ‘media establishment’ can ever get to censor or ‘black out’, because it is within ourselves! We will then become our real, self-honest, integral self as our new nature that will in turn – with time and new generations to come – create the new media that we all know is most beneficial to have, no longer existing as ‘fringe or alternative’ but as the ‘new normal’.

And that’s how we take one problem manifesting in the ‘outside’, take it back to ourselves to ‘fix’ it and correct it, align it and take responsibility for within ourselves, so that then it becomes – as we go and in a parallel mode – the new creation, the new expression that we can collectively create once that more and more people start living this inner-process of change at the same time.

I invite you to start this process today, it takes writing, it takes your absolute will and decision to investigate your fake news and real news, it takes dedication to change yourself, to help yourself, to be that one point that no longer feels satisfied with ‘getting truths’ out there, but that sees there’s some inner-work to do in order to change the without.

Join in!

 

My favorite supportive audio to understand self-suppression and a MUST Hear:

 

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Control


439. Perfectionist? Me?

 

1. Caos

Where and how have I lived the words perfect, perfectionist and perfectionism in my life?

 

This is an interesting thing to ask because for the most part in my conscious thoughts, I have regarded the ‘craving’ for perfection as something that ‘most people do’ – read: ‘this is what I grew up with in my environment of course’ – therefore in my decision/condition and pattern of going ‘against the tide’ – read ‘against the family patterns’ – that I developed throughout my younger years, I tried to do things in an almost deliberately flawed manner when it came to how I express myself, what would make me ‘unique’ so to speak. In art school for example, the more I would see others strived for drawing the most perfect lines of a human body, I simply continued doing my quirky curvy lines almost in a statement of ‘I don’t care about perfection’ – again the ‘rebel’ mode – which was a way to also hide the fact that I acknowledged the actual work, focus, practice that it would take to do something actually ‘perfect’ which would mean flawless, looking exactly like the person in front of me – in the case of the drawing. Did I challenge myself to do it? Yes I did, but still regarded that it was not my ‘style’ or ‘aim’ to make things perfect, there’s too much of that in the world, I said, so I kept doing it ‘my way’. I actually instead used the traditional techniques in some of my work literally ‘screw them’ to a point of mistake or accidents that could create more unpredictable and rather messy results… so, it was a controlled process of course – can’t fool too much around when working with metal plates and acids and big machines – but! still I wasn’t ever really aiming for the normal perception of ‘perfection’ in that, but the opposite.

Same with how I have my immediate surroundings. Some 10 years ago I was about to become a control freak in relation to cleanliness and basically wanting everything around me to always be spotless and in order. I have definitely slowed down on that and accepted that my life is not meant to be a ‘museum’ of sorts, it also assisted me to lower my ‘visual viciousness’ I had wherein I would get a kick out of everything that would look in some perfect arrangement, specific colors, specific objects around me etc. I guess that moving to various places to live and also going to live in a farm for one year made me reconsider what kind of ‘traits’ I had which were not of a practical purpose and moderated that to a manageable trait. I care not if I have a mess around me even though I still know – for the most part – where things are.  With my clothes, I also don’t seek perfection either, rather comfort, simplicity and sure some ‘style’ but again has nothing to do with ‘no wrinkles’ on clothes or stuff like that…. Some specificity sure but not an ‘ideal image’ in place.

I can instead also recognize the ‘aversion’ I had toward the word perfect mostly stemming from what I would see around me at home, always the desire for everything to look arranged, perfect, coming out well or with the best outcomes in anything, almost in an anxious manner… so that’s why in my pattern of ‘rebelling’ against all things, I mostly would be the one that caused some reactions in my family because of having things just all over the place most of the time. When I started living alone some 10 years ago, that’s when I went into the opposite side of now becoming more like people in my family – striving for perfection at home – yet scaled it up to an almost frightening notch, flirting a bit with obsessive compulsive attitudes. This I was able to ‘control’ in relation to me, myself, my things, my cleanliness and so forth, but! There is an aspect that I certainly have lived it in and this has been pointed out to me lately precisely by my mother in our every now and then interactions.

This is living the word ‘perfect’ as an expectation of how things ( I think ‘should’ be) can be in interactions with people in the outside world. Within the consideration of ‘how things would work best for everyone’ I am constantly in the lookout for doing things as efficiently as possible when it comes to doing something for someone else, something related to work, something related to how I interact or behave in a public space, can be on the streets, at the shop, transportation, in any given situation where I can see a possibility of me doing something to better the situation, to make things run smoothly, to give space to others… at times yes a bit of sacrificing myself is applied in order to give to others or benefit others, even though I’ve been working as well on myself for the past couple of years precisely to not go too much on that side of ‘serving’ only and forget about myself.

Maybe upon reading this I consider “well! That’s how everyone should do and be and we would have a great functional and smooth-coexisting world/society/reality!” But the reality is that when this need to create a ‘perfect’ situation or the most ‘optimal’ and ‘efficient’ situation for others and myself comes with a pinch of anxiety or need to ‘control’ something in order to achieve a desired outcome that comes up with this sense of ‘urgency’ of doing it as fast as possible to not bother others or to ‘benefit’ others or to create a smooth transition of anything for others, then I am in fact not being here as breath and considering the same efficiency or best possible outcomes within stability, there is this experience behind it which surely has become automated for the most part which means: I don’t need to ‘think’ about it, it’s become a ‘natural’ thing to do. I have also seen how this pattern particularly kicks in with double strength when I am around people that I have considered – or assess after some short time of being around them – that they are ‘slow’ or ‘not so efficient’ or a bit ‘clumsy’ or see that they are not entirely ‘considerate of others’ therefore I step in almost pushing too much the point of ‘being an example’ to them in certain moments, or being that ‘awareness’ that I see they might be lacking in a moment, which comes with a tension, an extra ‘strength’ that can have adverse effects.

Here I will use the case of me towards my mother wherein she is quite lax about things and I tend to go into this ‘drive’ of doing things in a very specific, efficient, yet ‘smooth’ way in order to – in my perception – contribute to making things better in general. However what has happened is that, for example, if she is driving and suddenly she’s about to go into a parking spot, and realizes that’s not the entrance, I immediately go into seeing the rest of the cars behind and tell her with a loud voice that she’s causing a mess of traffic now, that she must just get into the wrong spot so that she can let others pass!… all of this in a rushed manner only thinking about ‘the problem’ that she must be causing To others. But in that split of a moment, I didn’t at all consider how I actually caused her to get nervous and panicky about the situation, because I got in such a state in one single moment when looking at how we could immediately ‘sort out the problem for others behind us.’ So my mother said that they must wait, because she wanted to get to the right entrance. After she got it right and we parked, she said how I immediately went into this exalted state just because of caring too much about the ones behind us, without realizing how tense she got because of my reaction, which could have caused more consequences if she would have acted in a rush and getting into an edgy spot with the car.

Afterward that day at the supermarket, same thing happened with the trolley where she would leave it wherever and I would get slightly annoyed or preoccupied about the trolley becoming an obstacle for other shoppers, and in that almost coming through toward my mother with a reclamation of ‘why did you leave it there, don’t you see others want to pass through the aisle as well?’ and so this was a second time in that day; but it had happened before where I have gone into recriminating her and others whenever something is not exactly as I expected it to be, even if upon assessing ‘the problem’ it was in fact a lack of communication, misunderstanding, assumption and general ‘rush’ that I tend to go into.

This has to do mostly with ‘doings’ as in things that relate to processes, environments, services that pertain to ‘giving a service to others’, cleaning, cooking, team work, walking in the street as a pedestrian which is a relationship of myself and the cars, etc. Which means it is ‘there’ in every day situations yet not every time do I get equally exalted, because there is a ‘sameness’ as well existent in this consideration with the person I live with – but, it does come up with others that are not in the same ‘stance’ in relation to these things and I definitely should not judge them either, but be flexible and considerate of their perspective/view and way of living things, as long as they are not entirely wrecking themselves or others’ lives and I can suggest something to correct about it, but in essence: can’t ever change another, that’s a fact.

It also seems to come from the need to ‘control’ the situation wherein I tend to get a point of satisfaction or ‘completion’ within me when schedules are fulfilled as I expected them, when things are done in the way that I planned them, when my interaction with others in the world can lead to a more efficient or better outcome = all of this I have actually charged with a positive value, and it has a lot to do with how ‘others can benefit from it’ as well, but not always. There are also my own ‘pet peeves’ where I seek to have control over certain ‘ways to do things’ wherein I forget to be flexible, yet I have been working with this word ‘flexibility’ in order to precisely not turn into a control freak, but according to feedback I get from my partner, it seems it still is there as a set of ‘unspoken rules’ that I tend to react to if not done in that manner. I realize this and continue to work on it, which means I need to apply more awareness in those ‘auto-mode’ moments, be more attentive.

So, as I can see, probably living with me and being with me in a constant manner can be quite a challenge where I can end up stressing people around me if things are not done in a particular way or if there’s just too much of a mess that I cannot control or keep track of, and this doesn’t happen much at home since I live with someone that is actually quite similar and specific to my traits, so it is something that comes up mostly when interacting with someone like my mother that is definitely the contrast point in our family where my sisters, father and I seem to have the same ‘perfectionist’ relationship toward everything around us. She does have it as well but mostly when it comes to reunions/parties where there’s many others to receive at home, but that’s about it.

This is a tricky point because I have rationalized as in ‘realized’ that I cannot control things, that I require to be flexible, that I don’t have to get all flustered by mistakes or ‘things’ that don’t come up as expected in my day to day, or when I don’t get the expected result of something where others are meant to ‘do their part’ – and this is where I’ve kept the word ‘flexibility’ in mind and it has gotten ‘better,’ but there’s always room for improvement for sure as my reality has demonstrated to me.

So, what is the solution? It’s certainly Not to say ‘Ah I should just stop caring about it all and do my own thing in whichever way I can and let everything just ‘fall’ by itself’ because that would be going into an extreme or polarity. Here it is mostly to investigate what lies behind my desire to have certain things be ‘perfect’ in my life/reality when it comes to ‘doings’ that are related to others in my environment. It has to do with the previously mentioned ‘satisfaction’ or sense of security that I’d get from ‘getting things done in the most apt/perfect possible way’, that ‘kick’ that I developed probably from doing things the way my father expected me to do and when he would approve with words like ‘That’s right, good’ it was like being less of an obstacle or a nuisance in how I knew that he wanted things to be done around the house for example. The opposite polarity or outcome of not doing so? Anxiousness, nervousness, tension and general fear from not doing things ‘perfectly’ or to the T as he would expect, or messing things up which I actually at a later stage learned to be ‘ok’ with in his presence, but these kind of reactions did certainly get recorded or engraved in the way that I deal with things, mostly remembering the sounds he would make when things would ‘fit’ just perfectly in the food cupboard after coming from supermarket, or when I would go with him to supermarket and he would always move accurately, fast and efficiently getting all the stuff in no time and so being just ‘precise’ in how he does things,  that kind of father that would get you the stuff that you were about to empty up because he was aware of it and bought one just so that you don’t have to go ‘without any’!

So, these points I have linked with security, comfort, even enjoyment when things just ‘go right’ and ‘fit perfectly’ and are ‘solved in no time’ – but! The thing is I never really pondered “Hmm, well if I get a kick out of getting things right, perfect, efficiently and accurately, then what is the opposite polarity of it, what kind of fears are hidden behind this?” No! I never really have questioned that because in my mind, this is ‘the way’ that everyone should be and this way the world would be just ‘best for everyone’! and surely, I still see that If I remove my fears of fucking things up, being an obstacle to others, being a nuisance, messing things that were previously ‘right’ or not giving to others the expected service/result, and instead do things in an apt and efficient manner as I know I can do, without fearing making mistakes, without fearing making others ‘wait’ or have the experience of ‘extra energy’ to it, without getting essentially angry or flustered about it, or ‘panicky’ about things, it surely can be a way in which one can be considerate of oneself and others around, generally assessing potentials for improvements, seeing efficiency as a process in which things can be done with reasonable effort, in stability and considering all parts involved, with a leeway or flexibility for trial and errors as well.

This would mean that in the example of me telling my mother to ‘get off the way’ to let others pass behind her in this exalted manner, this would can be now turned into a realization that: Ok we are in a ‘catch 22’ she cannot go further or she crashes the car, therefore she does have to take some time to go back and then drive into the right entrance, which means that surely the drivers behind might not be able to advance for a few seconds, they might not be ‘happy’ about it but, it could also happen to them and I’m sure that my mother would be understanding of that…. In theory – lol – because the pattern is that most people get very anxious and flustered whenever someone makes us ‘waste time’ when driving somewhere. However, this is then something that can be brought up in response to ‘asking for others time’ when being in a tricky situation, and so be flexible and considerate when others are in the same ‘catch 22’ situation.

Most of my reactions have to do with time in fact, and linking efficiency with doing things in ‘no time’ or the ‘fastest possible’ and if possible, leaving ‘no trace’ at all, not being a ‘bother’ to others, or making others ‘do what I should have done’ – which again, makes sense in a certain way but when it becomes almost a constant paranoia when being around others or in particular environments or responsibilities that affect others, it can come through with some of that fear behind it that is expressed in tension, in a rush that can at the same time be perceived by others as this ‘extra charge’ and so get equally tense or anxious and stressed out which is then not at all the way to actually ‘be efficient’ and care for others’ wellbeing.

Therefore there is a balance needed where I realize that the ‘efficiency’ I can get most of the times has to do with a few seconds to a couple of minutes of doing things, sometimes hours and that is ok because we live in a world where we can’t control everything and everyone else to ‘get things right’ or ‘fast’ all the time; to realize that not everyone is in the ‘same rush’ as I perceive they are – or to realize that I am in fact the ‘rushy’ one all the time – and to realize that many times solutions – even if considering the whole situation – might not always come out in a way that makes ‘everyone happy’ as in realizing that I cannot always ‘please’ or ‘benefit’ others the way I would like to, which comes from a genuine spot in me of actually wanting the world/things to work the best way for everyone. I truly no longer do it for the sake of ‘being recognized’ in an ego manner, but more in that sense of sure, being an example of how things can work or be done, but this can still be coming through with a ‘pushy’ manner which can lead to opposite results, like the arguments I had with my mother when coming to realize what I was doing and wasn’t aware of, and kept doing while she was explaining this pattern to me, such as quickly pointing out to her that ‘hey the green is on, go!’ just because of having the consideration in the background of ‘we’re making others waste their time if you don’t step on gas!” as if hell was going to break lose for those seconds lost, which doesn’t make sense, but it also as to do with preventing honking and people from calling you names for being slow in such situations so yeah, a fear there as well on ‘affecting others’ but also preventing some further conflicts or ‘name callings’ and such. Better be ‘slow’ in these situations as a precaution, instead of rushing and ending up squashed on the car on the front.

I have also seen how this same point comes up when being in someone else’s car and if they are not the ‘fast and accurate’ drivers, then I start getting tense for them going with low speed in the high-speed lane, or for not realizing that there’s people behind them that need some space to cross and things like that. What happens is that because I create an idea of ‘what I would do’ in such situations and so because of not getting the ‘expected result,’ I go into this tension because of seeing that others are not considering others the same way I would, and pondering if I should bring it up or not as a point to become aware of, or if I’ll come off as too demanding or bossy or intransigent or plain neurotic.

These are all things I’ll for sure keep working on to create a balance in it. A practical solution I’ve been applying since this point was brought forth to my attention some 2-3 weeks ago is to deliberately ‘let it be’ or ‘let it pass’ in times when I in that moment assess that ‘me bringing up this ‘desired outcome’ is only a point of personal preference’ or if I see that there can be some flexibility applied in the situation. Some other times I have still brought up the ‘old’ pattern of getting a short-fuse temper situation toward cars while walking such as them not stopping to allow me to cross or going to fast in a yellow light and so forth, it’s at times baffling how automated my behavior can be, but it is that, just an automated aspect that requires a notch up of slowing down and living attention which I just see I can apply as ‘a-tension’ or ‘a=without tension’ which allows me to create attention – as in being stable – observing the situation, surely continuing to see what are best ways to ‘follow through’ with something but making sure I am not ‘tensing up’ about it, but being considerate, flexible and add a pinch of ‘letting be’ to it, which is more aligned with the ‘flow of life’ like the series about Perfectionism from Eqafe explained, which are a real gift to someone like me that had not entirely investigated what was behind this need for ‘perfection’ or had even identified this ‘knack’ for perfectionism in a form of control, yet having some extra ‘energy’ there disguised as an efficient/perfect outcome for myself and others.

So, I conclude that there is a requirement for a balance within this. I realize that I have automated almost this ‘holistic observer’ mode where I am constantly aware of things not only in my immediate surroundings but in general on the ‘outside of myself’ as well, almost in a natural manner if I can call it that, aiming at things being efficiently done, getting them done, consider others, consider best for all outcomes and so forth. But! I can certainly turn a notch down in the ‘how’ I live this, which is without the fear of ‘losing control’, without going into short-fuse temper or anger, or irritation if something goes wrong or if mistakes are made, or if others are not as considerate as I see the potential could be, but to understand that I can only be the example of this myself and live it in equanimity. This implies as well to not be so exigent toward others to ‘learn from me and do it!’ but to realize it’s been an entire process for me to, till this day, to change behaviors, patterns and reactions in me. I still keep working on many ingrained patterns that I was most likely going to become in a ‘full-fledged’ manner if following the patterns acquired from family and so forth, which is why I am always grateful for when it comes to walking this process of self change for some 8 years now and it’s awesome to keep discovering points like this one on ‘perfectionism’ that had to be brought to my attention, which I am usually grateful for as I’ve expressed in these blogs throughout time.

 

Will keep an eye on how I continue developing my moderation on this point, and will share if new dimensions open up around this one.

Thanks for reading

&

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Perfection: The (un)Holy Trinity

 

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435. From Control to Flexibility

 

Being a control-freak or wanting to impose a form of control is definitely an underlying pattern that I played out in the previous situation I shared on ‘hissy-fit’ and transcending it. In essence a cool question that comes up is ‘what am I fearing?’ when seeing that we try and control something. Example, when thinking or being scheming what someone should say, how a situation should develop, how others must behave, what the weather should be like, what someone can/can’t eat or drink, what ‘must’ be done and what ‘must not’ be done… all of these points seem quite exhausting to deal with on a constant basis, and the thing is that it exists as a point of control ‘outside of ourselves’ without realizing it’s in fact first a point of control within ourselves as the mind that is dictating what we are supposed to want/look out for or be careful with. Every time I see this pattern unfolding, it reminds me of certain family members again, wanting to keep a certain image in an almost political way where there is constant PR processes going on, where one would want to control situations and events to what one considers is appropriate and generates no disturbance to our status quo – all entirely fear based.

This point of control is definitely rooted in fear, where we want to keep a certain idea, state or condition of something to please – again – certain idea or belief of oneself, or what others should become to please oneself, how an environment should be to please oneself. I faced a lot of these patterns when living with roommates in a house and having quite a lot of ongoing irritation, anger and frustration for things simply being out of my control at all times, which means: me not being able to impose my will and how I thought things should look like and function around in all ways. I am aware I tend to be dominant, and there is no point in now going into feeling bad about it. There can be constructive ways to use this ability to be in a constant ‘overseeing’ mode of reality in order to be more present, more aware of what’s going on, yet without wanting to control the environment or a situation. Though in this also realizing that me trying to have things work entirely ‘my way’ or have little to no inconveniences is definitely not a possibility in this world where multiple variables are constantly interacting with each other. Hell, not even a ‘god’ could have ultimate control on reality.

So, what word have I been using and practicing to letting go of or managing this pattern of wanting to control? Flexibility and consideration. Flexibility is being able to adapt to whichever outcome emerges that is unforeseen, unpredictable or ‘out of the plans’ and so being able to adapt, move, change in order to integrate such situations while being directive. Otherwise, when fixating to how something ‘must’ go, we are prone to constantly be fighting against reality, constantly creating the most unnecessary frictions and conflicts. So it is better to rather make it a point to make peace with it anyways, with whatever ‘out of the plan’ conditions emerge instead of fighting it or trying to have something or someone work in a particular way. So for example yesterday I said I would not complain for how hot the day was. In the end I was able to do this for the most part, except for the very end when I said that it was a very damn hot day, and started scheming the ways to avoid going out at the same time of the day under the same heat.

Is that the way to go through life? It’s like a constant fighting. Also I see that when others do this ‘PR’ process or ‘damage control’ in a way of ‘everything is fine’ it has bothered me, because I see the flaws behind that but it happens to be that I have done exactly the same, it is another form of control instead of facing the music for what it is and work with it bit by bit.  The question is then what is there to ‘save’ or ‘rescue’ from a mind that thrives of judgments, superiority and inferiority traits, delusional beliefs….? Nothing really.

Whenever I then see myself wanting to control something within an environment or toward another, I rather ask myself what do I fear losing or experimenting or exposing and why? Is it really relevant?

 It is true that not everyone in this world is ready to be fully honest and have this marvelous openness right away, but if one does the little bit of enabling things to unfold as they usually do, without trying to control, we will realize that this is where the actual ‘self-test’ emerges, where we can act and live according to what we face in the moment, challenging or not = it is our reality, we can only arm ourselves with the tools of self-support to develop self-trust over time, realizing that no matter ‘what’ or ‘who’ comes my way, I know I can support me to walk through it and get to a resolution or create solutions that can be supportive in both or more ways.

Sometimes instead of wanting to immediately ‘control’ someone as in preventing them from doing something, it’s a matter of rather communicating the potential outflows or consequential development of something, sometimes even finding third party accounts or stories that can assist a person to consider the same point and so, open up the conversation in common sense to that everyone is aware of the points of responsibility to it all. This is then turning the point of control based on fear – just like parents do with their children when preventing them to do something out of fear, instead of explaining to them how things work, the consequences and so having the child decide and go through it all to learn from it – that’s how you build a sense of responsibility. There the point of control as in preventing others sometimes from ‘fuck ups’ is then turned into a learning process for everyone involved, where even if ‘mistakes’ are made, at least each person would know ‘I did it to myself’ or ‘I created this and I knew what the outcomes would be.’ This way one is instead of controlling, providing certain perspectives or input into something, so that each one can still make their own decisions while one can remain ‘at peace’ because of having explained the reasoning behind one’s attempt to control – or if already prevented – to explain or give a perspective as to why one would or would not do a certain thing with arguments that can be understandable in practical reality terms.

 

I consider that it is best to make some choices being aware of the uncertainty they entail – we cannot predict or control what is going to happen in something – rather than preventing oneself from moving at all because of wanting to control reality, to wait for a better moment to act, to have the perfect conditions for something –that possibly won’t ever arrive by the way – one can instead embrace the unpredictability, while remaining aware of the developments, potential consequences and make decisions based on common sense – considering what is best for all involved – that can lead to the most supportive and potentially effective outcome.

Being flexible there implies not trying to impose oneself onto others, not trying to control their lives, but rather making sure that I can instead share my perspective

 

Control

 

Learn more about this and Join in:


395. What is Real Empowerment?

 

The Fallacious Archetype of Power

Perdition City

 

The wordpower’ in Spanish is ‘poder’ which means simply ‘can’ / ‘being able to’ and as such it is interesting how we have elevated the word ‘power’ to something beyond ourselves, something that we almost see sitting up high on a throne far away from our reach, we see it as some blinding almighty light that only gods and masters can obtain, and politicians, CEO’s, and elites of this world can control with money. This is how I would see the word ‘power’ before, filled with something ‘extraordinary’ that apparently none of us regular ‘mortals’ have – this is the cognitive dissonance, the fallacy existent within the word at a collective level which is precisely the construct of hierarchy that exists within each one of us.

 

By ‘the construct of hierarchy’ I mean the ability to layer ourselves as human beings in various strata of the super rich and the ‘empowered’ at the top, and then going all the way down to the lower strata: lower middle class to people living in abject poverty.

The sheer acceptance of poverty and the ‘megarich as something ‘normal’ or part of ‘how the world works’ already reveals something: we have created an idea of what ‘power’ implies as the amount of money one can have, which creates the abusive logic of: IF you are not a super rich elite person THEN you are ‘disempowered’ as the ‘power’ is held in the hands of those few ones at the top and only ‘they’ can rule and control and tell us what to do and how to do things…. This is the general belief wherein we become subject to ‘others’ and in this the first point of abuse is precisely not being able to recognize ourselves as equals.

 

 

Guns_and_Angels

 

Now, this is just to place into context the first fallacy: Power means to have LOTS of money, being in a ‘higher position’ where you can control others and abuse something/someone to continue aggrandizing your personal power. So, this is certainly not the definition of power, but the definition of Abuse masked as ‘power’ and ‘success’ and some kind of ‘divine power’ that is ingrained in our minds from thousands of years ago, mind control it is. 

 

This idea of ‘power’ in the form of abuse must be realized for the consequences it has created the moment that we All have given more importance to money itself – which turns into possessions, enslaving others to do the work for you, to be able to control people for personal gain, to deceive, to lie and cheat, to bribe –  in order to advance personal plans for power. So, we’ve also then lived the ‘wrong meaning’ of what success means and as such you can start figuring out how many of the words we had all at some point desired to achieve, were in fact meanings of words that are not entirely supportive for everyone, but instead only glorify our personal interest without considering what is best for everyone else at the same time.

 

What I’ve realized that has happened within ourselves is that because taking control/direction of one’s life involves doing the actual work, the investigation, the discipline to lay out plans and test out ways to genuinely empower oneself and make things work within a supportive context, we all have (un)consciously decided to take the ‘easy route’ wherein a handful of individuals that were noticeably cunning in ways to get the most for themselves by using tricks, deception and lies that ‘sell well’ have been able to make their fortunes based on OUR complacency, our ignorance, our irresponsibility, gullibility and law of the least effort which is precisely the point of disempowerment we have grown into ourselves like the actual cancer that takes us into the mentality of ‘oh well we are never going to be powerful enough like ‘the elite’ to change things, so let’s just keep having a good time’ And in this, we are only accepting the manufactured consent to remain in our own little cages, living in con-fine-ments of houses/rooms where we simply believe that ‘it’s the life I had to live’ / ‘God wanted me to learn these lessons’ / ‘this is how life is/ I simply have to make things work and let things flow’ when in fact all of these are nothing else but excuses and justifications to not stand up for ourselves.

What we haven’t realized is that ‘The Power’ / Our Power in itself is always HERE in and as each one of us in our ability to decide to precisely no longer ‘follow the leader’ but rather questioning the leader, questioning the governments, questioning the entire hierarchical structure we live in, questioning the benefits we have endowed to some within a belief structure called politics, religion, class systems, races, we have to ponder our abilities and restrictions and so within doing that coming to the realization that we’ve bought a great lie wherein we believed all along that ‘we are disempowered’ and so within this,actually disenfranchising ourselves from our living rights –  but we aren’t really, we have just been – let me be frank – too lazy, too apathetic, too idle to take responsibility for making things work and be beneficial not only for ourselves but for everyone else too.

 

Disempowerment toward Politics/Politicians

We accepted and allowed it

A point in my life I’ve felt disempowerment is when witnessing abuse and this is how this word then came up. Within this what I have created is the belief that the point of abuse is ‘so out there, out of my reach’ that ‘I can’t do anything about it’ but this is also an excuse and justification, a fallacy in fact because in this we believe that that which I am witnessing as a point of abuse is ‘outside of myself’ and if we are human beings, we all have a mind, a body and so we can all rather begin realizing that IF another human being was able to commit such abuse THEN I as another human being can investigate, understand such abuse, trace the origin point, source it, understand it and rather learn how it was originated so that I can focus on preventing the situations and accumulation of behaviors, circumstances internally and externally that propitiate a situation of abuse.

A classic point of disempowerment I lived throughout my life was when witnessing and/or getting information about the corruption in politics – hence my ‘loathing politics’ experience – and so believing that those people ‘in power’ were simply doing what they willed themselves to because ‘they could’ because they were in the position to do so, and so this ‘position’ point became the limitation: their money, their knowledge, their relationships, their names, their families, etc. So in this all that I learned to create is anger, aversion and a general desire to ‘have nothing to do with politics’ or with money, or with getting a good position in the system, because ‘I hated it’ but in fact this is what makes us All disempowered, when we already see ourselves wanting to deny that which we see or believe to be ‘too high’ / ‘too far away from my reach to change’.

Furthermore I realized how I created such aversion/hatred toward politics because I realized that instead of political platforms existing to regulate our lives and support everyone as equals, the opposite is what drives politics at the moment. And so, this experience of ‘hatred’ as my emotional reaction for not getting the expected support from politicians and politics in general to support our societies, so that is why it is My responsibility to stop my own experience of hatred that leads to the belief of me being disempowered in my ability to change things, to change the world-system and my reality – little did I know or was aware of how it is that in this moment I actually swallowed the belief that ‘I can’t do anything if I am not in that position of power’ which is the first way in which we go ‘tagging’ ourselves, defining each other as either powerful or disempowered individuals in society, all by the amount of money, of influence, of powerful family relationships,  of studies, of properties etc. all of it consolidating the same fallacious definition of power as an actual abuse upon the rest that do not have equal access to what the ‘empowered’ has.

So,  what I’ve done since then after many years of contempt and aversion and antagonizing and even mocking politicians, I came to focus on my responsibility to change myself first, which means going from this belief of disempowerment to an actual self-empowerment which is nothing else but taking responsibility for myself, for the education that I half-way received about how the world actually functions and getting to see a fuller picture, to understand who really ‘runs the world’ – or what really runs the world as the money-construct – and how the actual way to implement change is through politics. From there I walked an entire process of clearing up the word politics for myself so that I no longer bring up this mental image of men in suits sitting on a chamber of congress making decisions behind closed doors while eating caviar and sipping champagne, abusing women and children and joking about the poor that have fun with bread and circus. So, this means that I started rather investigating what are the actual forces that drive our reality, who are our government, how have ‘they’ been also created as part of an enclosed system of rich and poor,  what is it that we have missed in our reality that we have abdicated our entire organization to a handful that only look after their own benefit, all of this means: where is My responsibility to the world system in fact.

And so upon discovering and understanding some of the greatest lies in our entire history like how money is created and the purpose of our education, what our foods contain, the type of devaluation of dignity that entertainment represents, the warfare industry, the general commodification of life then became a solid starting point for me to realize that I am not really ‘disempowered’ because I can investigate and certainly I can then through understanding the problem also propose solutions, which didn’t come as easy either, because I had to then walk through my very own definitions of ‘value’ and money as as the current representation of the relationship of abuse toward one another, and the rest of the constructs that we have all collectively agreed upon as a ‘default’ point from birth.

So, no one said it is going to be ‘easy’ to actually conduct the changes required due to the time, the effort, the money that is required for it and the group of people that will only make it happen through unity as the real form of empowerment one by one – though the first point is recognizing that ‘I can’ and this is no hopeful-positive thinking political slogan situation just like ‘yes we can’ that have been used to get presidential candidates into office. No. this is about genuinely becoming aware of how we can investigate, understand the problem and so walk it through to a solution beginning with ourselves, which means stopping the patterns of apathy, aversion, hatred, judgment and more so Blame toward ‘those that I believe are in power’

 

So what is real power then?

Power is the ability to recognize that ‘I can’, that ‘I am able,’  that I can direct myself and become an individual that no longer is mentally driven by seeking the kind of abuse (false archetype of power we just discussed) as a form of personal gain called ‘success,’ but instead that I can change myself to become an individual that can demonstrate that the ‘order’ in this world is flawed and that it must be changed – but how can ‘it’ all be changed if we keep living in a bubble called the personal belief of being ‘disempowered’?

In this case, proposing self-education to understand our individual responsibility to our lives and how within doing that we will come to realize that the current system is unsustainable and so, we can also join in with our new awareness to  propose solutions that can change the way we currently live in. So here we are then crossing the line from the ‘disempowered’ member of society that sees ‘no way out’ to the individual that sees that the way out is precisely through recognizing that I Can/ I am Able to understand the problem and so within understanding also conduct changes within ourselves first – and this is very, very important because most of the ‘activism’ that takes place is entirely conducted or ‘aiming’ at ‘changing others’ which is entirely futile really. Isn’t it such a common phrase to say: “be the change that you want to see in the world”? Well, this means apply, live the principles to be and become such change, instead of understanding such phrase as in ‘being the one that demands change’ or some other way to deviate from the point of responsibility.

We can and are able to recognize our power, our ability to change things, which is not really something ‘outside of ourselves’ but recognizing our ability to act according to what we see is and would be best for everyone, which also is what we can also define as taking self-responsibility leading to actual self-empowerment. This is a process where we go recognizing that as we take matters into our own hands, we then go dropping all the fallacies, the deception, the belief systems that we had held ourselves imprisoned by. And it is more than necessary today to begin letting go of this idea and Experience of ‘feeling disempowered’ and instead, rather flag-it and see it as the excuse this word ‘disempowerment’ is and represents to not take responsibility, to not recognize that I CAN Stop and Prevent such point of Abuse within myself by recognizing my equal-capability of understanding the problem/ the point of abuse and directing it toward a solution.

 

If we don’t do this, then who will?

 

We have gotten ourselves to this point because we just were too complacent – too lazy – to actually take our lives into our own hands, but instead we delegated our power, our ‘I can’ for myself in the hands of a few that obviously have abused it tremendously as it had to be, otherwise if they had been benevolent beings that ‘took care of it all,’ then maybe we would have never really even considered how it is ourselves that should take responsibility for ourselves first and foremost and so one by one waking up to this realization, we will live in an actual self-governance, a self-direction, I direct me as my mind and my body to do/conduct and direct myself to prevent/stop this point of abuse and so correct the ways, behaviors, patterns toward a best for all outcome.

This is a process of self creation and self-empowerment is then the ability to recognize that I can, I am able to, and more so recognizing this not as a fleeting moment of positivity, but an actual continued, constant and diligent process of redefining our words such as ‘power’ and live the ‘I can’ and ‘I am able to’ direct myself in reality, seeing where we still believe ‘we can’t’ and so pushing ourselves to really test it out – can’t we really? do we fear something? Is there a reality point, a potential consequence that I could create if I do this? Of course within the current boundaries of what this physical reality implies when it comes to laws of physics and the rest of the system we have to stick to at the moment – all done in a supportive, peaceful, non-aggressive manner – always considering what is best for all which implies: no harm, no abuse.

 

Change isn’t a magical overnight thing, it is a rather long continued process of self-movement to stop and prevent the same patterns of abuse that are manifested consequences of thousands of years! So it is about first becoming such living principle of what it means to live words that are self-supportive and so see how as we share and live with each other, we can go creating agreements that we can physically in real time test out work  to live in a way that is beneficial for all – and so by doing this and living this realization in ‘real time’ then, we actually go empowering ourselves and each other to realize: we actually have the power to change, and that Is empowering.

 

So, it’s time to empower ourselves and each other recognizing that We Can and so lay out the plan on how one is going to live such ability/power every single day to change oneself and live in self-responsibility which then becomes a form of freedom too from the accepted and allowed mind-control belief of ‘we are too little to change’ –Time to grow up!

 

Please read:

Day 409: How to Change this Bloody, Bloody World

Suggested interview:

From Self Victimization to Self Empowerment – 2013 – The Future of Consciousness – Part 38

Self-Empowerment and Expansion with Desteni:

 


378. Does Privacy Undermine Democracy?

Apocalypse is what we are living in now: the massive revelation of the deception existent at all levels in our reality – and I say at last it’s all opening up like the can of worm’s we’ve kept nicely closed for far too long. Who would’ve known that our very own words would be traceable and then turned against us? Isn’t this the perfect way to for once and for all face ourselves, our human nature, our constant desire to maim and tame the system to always end up winning and having an immaculate image at the eyes of others? As much as the majority of the world revolts when thinking about one’s every move being tracked and recorded, I’ve got a few points to share here to re-consider our definition of privacy and security and how this links to our ability to genuinely establish a democracy that hasn’t existed at all yet in the history of humanity.

 

Looking in retrospect to 2013, one of the stories we got to read and hear on a daily basis was the massive surveillance and spying programs around the globe.

 

snowden only reveals the self evident

On December 25th, 2013 Whistleblower Edward Snowden, who revealed the mass surveillance programmes organised by the US and other governments, gives this year’s The Alternative Christmas Message.”

 

“Recently, we learned that our governments, working in concert, have created a system of worldwide mass surveillance, watching everything we do.

Great Britain’s George Orwell warned us of the danger of this kind of information. The types of collection in the book — microphones and video cameras, TVs that watch us — are nothing compared to what we have available today. We have sensors in our pockets that track us everywhere we go.

Think about what this means for the privacy of the average person. A child born today will grow up with no conception of privacy at all. They’ll never know what it means to have a private moment to themselves — an unrecorded, unanalyzed thought. And that’s a problem, because privacy matters. Privacy is what allows us to determine who we are and who we want to be.

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/snowdens-christmas-messgae-2013-12#ixzz2pDmtXp3Z

 

 

Public vs. Private

 

In a world where private property determines our worth and value, one’s idea and belief of ‘privacy’ is no different to the illusion of ‘free choice’ where our right to keep secrets, keep hidden data and undeclared information apparently makes us free and self-determined human beings or as Snowden placed it, privacy “determines who we are and who we want to be”

Is it really so or is it the ability to continue hiding the lies and deception that perpetuate the corrupted system we re-create every single day of our lives?

 

Private  
1    for or belonging to one particular person or group only. (of thoughts, feelings, etc.) not to be shared or revealed.(of a person) not choosing to share their thoughts and feelings. (of a place) secluded. alone and undisturbed by others.
2    (of a person) having no official or public position. not connected with one’s work or official position.

from Latin privatus ‘withdrawn from public life’, a use of the past participle of privare ‘bereave, deprive’, from privus ‘single, individual’.

 

 

Does Privacy allow self-determination?

To the point: Not at all. What determines our lives is money and money is currently the spawn of our negligence to create an economic, political and social system that provides genuine security to each individual in the form of Money to have access to all the necessary means to live in dignity.

If we believe that we must keep our thoughts and words private as our secret creation, rather consider the following. Our human behavior and the entire configuration of our minds is determined by the environment we are born into, which means that we believe that our thoughts, words and actions are to be kept ‘private’ or concealed from the public eye, without realizing that our words, thoughts, beliefs, our desires, fantasies, vices and wildest imaginations are merely copies from everything that exists here as our ‘culture’/ our environment from which we copy such thoughts, behavior, desires, manners from each other and as such, I don’t see it as a great revelation to know that there are people cheating in the system to win over others, that abuse the public’s ‘trust,’ that has deviant ways of entertainment, that corrupt the system to their own benefit, that may cheat to their spouses, that may rob from public treasury, that only seek to benefit themselves… none of that is really ‘new’ to us since we all create the nature of these ‘hot revelations,’ as they represent nothing else but the disclosure of who we are and have become as individuals that only seek personal benefit and keep it all ‘secluded from public domain’ so as to never have to be accountable for our thoughts, words and deeds that undermine any possibility for real democracy.

What is it that one can fear if our every move is being tracked? that our ability to lie, cheat, deceive and corrupt might be finally terminated by ‘the powers that be’ without realizing that such power as a system of control in the first place only exists because we haven’t been able to trust each other to always live and exist within the principle of doing, thinking and speaking what is best for all. We failed to do this and that’s why everyone is screaming and shouting against mass surveillance programs and the NSA because our little theater of li(v)es will be exposed for once and for all. I can sincerely say I have no worry at all about this since the idea of privacy is a synonym to secrecy, and so as we all know it is an antonym to transparency and integrity, which is what we as human beings have failed to integrate as part of our principled living code – if we had one to begin with – which would have resulted in a world we would be living happily ever after in, and clearly we are not.

 

“The conversation occurring today will determine the amount of trust we can place both in the technology that surrounds us and the government that regulates it. Together, we can find a better balance. End mass surveillance. And remind the government that if it really wants to know how we feel, asking is always cheaper than spying.”

Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/snowdens-christmas-messgae-2013-12#ixzz2pE574BM8

 

It’s fascinating to see that we blame the government the same way we blame a god or parents or any other ‘authority figure’ that we create as an excuse to not realize our responsibility that has been abdicated from the moment that we’ve accepted and allowed the ruling of a minority over a so called ‘majority,’ which makes it nonsensical since it would imply that the majority must be severely blind to be ruled by a ‘minority’ and this is where our first abdication of responsibility begun up to now where we’ve made of the government our ‘punching bag’ to exert the anger that we in fact experience toward ourselves as the result of having left our lives in the hands of a clever few that knew how to take advantage of our fear to responsibility, to genuinely be self-determined and self-governed. How can we blame ‘others’ for what we accepted and allowed ourselves throughout ages?

 

Furthermore, isn’t it that ‘how we feel’ and ‘who we want to be’ as our desire to win, to eliminate our competitor, to stab others in the back is what has enabled some to thrive more than others and as such, ‘those in power’ are nothing but the reflection of our own secret desires to do and become ‘them’ as well? 

Isn’t it that because we have allowed this secrecy between one another to continue we have shaped this world in the image and likeness of our secret mind where we conceal ourselves from one another creating a system wherein one can only succeed if you cheat the most while making enemies that must be then eradicated to keep one’s throne – or the desire thereof – in place?

 

It is rather disappointing to see how little do we as the people, the public,  understand about the matters that we should instead all be working on to solve as the actual self-determination that could be enabled by establishing genuine social security, such as a Living Income to guarantee our right to life.  Within this delusion of our “right to privacy” we have diverted our attention for what really matters which is to recognize our failure to honor ourselves and each other as part of the public,  as part of the whole and empower each other to live in dignity and equality in opportunity: the real democracy. Instead,  the world is fixated on first securing one’s Secret Mind as our thoughts, words and deeds that we would rather keep away from the ‘public eye’ just because it would ‘compromise’ – or shall I rather say – expose our lies, deception and cheating to ‘make it through’ in our lives – private and public – and keep a ‘good reputation’ to continue abusing without any consequence – but why is this so? is it then that in Snowden’s words ‘privacy is self-determination’ is our ability to abuse each other? Because if integrity existed, we would not feel the need to keep secrets from one another.

Snowden’s revelations are not surprising at all since it is self evident that if this system worked and operated in a ‘correct manner’ we would not be having billions of human beings starving on a daily basis and being disenfranchised from having access to living necessities by lacking the enforcement of basic human rights. Therefore, the lies and deception at a personal and public level is rather a showbiz misleading game from the matters that are a priority at the moment – and it is only the beginning since it is a necessary step for us to finally come to realize that our ability to be ‘private’ is another branch of the delusion of free choice as the right to abuse and remember: it’s life’s way now and all things will be revealed to finally establish the necessary clarity and transparency for real self-empowerment and self-determination. 

 

Can we genuinely be ‘withdrawn from public life?

No. The sole idea of being an individual that can be isolated is merely a concept that exists within an intrinsic desire of human beings to keep things hidden, covered up, secret and kept as another point of ‘righteousness,’ an actual mockery of ‘honor’ and ‘freedom’ as the ability to keep one’s reputation immaculate at the eyes of others and ‘free from consequence’ ; however we have failed to apply basic common sense to realize that if we were honorable, integral and transparent individuals, we would not be fighting for ‘our right to secrecy’ and no matter how many excuses we can get opposing these statements, we only want to keep our secrets hidden so as to keep one ‘safe’ from facing the consequences and finally ‘forcing’ ourselves to become accountable.

It is impossible now due to our technology and wired lives to continue keeping secrets. The way of the globalized internet world now is to begin this process of self-revelation where we finally come to see ourselves for who we are, what we have become, to open the can of worms in our ‘private lives’ and so become an individual that is able to stand in the face of every other being and be accountable for everything we think, say and do, while committing to rather act in the best interest of All, of the public.

 

Public  
1    of, concerning, or open to the people as a whole. Øinvolved in the affairs of the community, especially in government or entertainment: a public figure.
2    done, perceived, or existing in open view.

from Latin publicus, blend of poplicus ‘of the people’ and pubes ‘adult’.

 

 

Democracy can only exist when we the people, the public, are able to stand in absolute transparency toward one another – no lies, no secrets, no ‘classified information’ – and as such empower each other to genuinely stand in self-determination within the consideration that there is really no individual that can live isolated from affecting and being dependent on the whole – privacy only prolonged and veiled this realization.

 

We are fighting for our limitations when we get concerned about things like ‘being spied on and tracked everywhere’ within the belief that we are being ‘violated’…. Hello? why haven’t we first considered the violation of our right to life in the first place and have kept each other blind from the fact that we should all be granted money to live in dignity as a human right, and that the creation of such supportive system can only come to exist when we redefine Security as the ability to secure each other’s living right by providing Money to live, instead of thinking of ‘security’ as the ability to keep secrets from one another to perpetuate the lies and corruption in a broken system that propitiates starvation and massive financial crimes, yet provides the false idea of ‘privacy as self determination.’ Right.

 

It’s time to rather ponder why such systems to ‘control’ exist, why we haven’t been able to trust each other, why we have allowed a few to create such control systems, why we are complaining about being ‘watched by Big Brother’ without realizing that we would not fear at all to be watched if we think, act and speak always in alignment to the principle of doing what is best for all – no harm, no abuse – and supporting oneself to be an honorable member of society, men and women of integrity that can trust each other with each other’s life.

 

Sounds utopic? Only if we continue fighting for our limitations and blaming governments for massive surveillance instead of taking the point back to ourselves and work on our ability to develop self-integrity, honor and respect to each others as fellow living beings that can live in peace and harmony in a self-determined and self-governance modality of coexistence – that is the real key to stop fearing big brother and massive surveillance until such control is no longer required and we can finally trust each other to create a socioeconomic structure that secures the right to life in dignity.

 

 

Presenting the Equal Life Foundation’s Fundamental Human Rights. the actual matters we the people have to focus on providing to one another: 

 

Watch and share if you agree

 


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