Tag Archives: creator

541. Creativity and Self-Creation

§  Continuing from: 530. The Secret Behind Attraction

 

This word right here is ‘close to my heart’ so to speak considering how I have previously conceived creativity in a rather limited way, linking it to artistic skills for the most part and traits within myself and others that would be geared towards expressing oneself in any form of art or doing something ingenious, witty or clever that serves a practical purpose.

However throughout this process with walking the tools of self-support at Desteni, I’ve learned to understand the actual depth of who we are as creators, created and creation, which might sound a bit too ‘out there’ initially – and it certainly does require a vast context that one can find support to walk through step by step in several series that can be found at Eqafe.com. Here I’ll focus on debunking this limited perception of how I can at times still perceive that I can be separate from my ‘creative abilities’ by defining that only related to ‘doing original work’ or creating a particular trademark in relation to artistic creations, instead of realizing that these are all results, the byproduct of a much more intricate and personal self-process of understanding self-creation and the actual ability we have to determine our lives and so our destiny, not only in creating something ‘out there’ but as ourselves, identifying ourselves as our own creators too and honoring that creative ability in our lives.

Here I am therefore giving a step forward from my initial approach to this word as seen in relation to ‘liking another person for being creative’ and taking this word back to myself, to see who am I as this word and how I am living it, what needs to be fine-tuned and what I want to continue creating of myself and my life in the context of being an individual that can stand as an example of what it means to honor one’s creation and one’s contribution to the whole that we are all a part of.

Perceiving that we are not the sole creators of our lives leads to a sense of disempowerment, of ‘atrophy’ in believing that we are always subject to our weaknesses, our faults, our ‘human nature’ in which in my experience can show up at times being very quick to judge things or determine that something is not ‘good enough’ and get doubtful about myself and the totality of what I am doing in a moment, tending to compare myself to others or get impatient in this process of self-creation. All of these aspects are precisely the points that I have to continue working on and being detailed about, because whatever we eventually create and manifest not only as things we do or create in the external world, but every single thought, word and deed will be ultimately influenced by the very core of our being, who we are in every moment of our day = what we accept and allow to determine ourselves in our minds and so in our reality.

What does that mean? I’ve noticed that if I for example accept an experience of pointlessness or defeatism within something that I am doing, and believing that ‘there’s no point for it’ and lose my ground and initial vision to create something in my reality, I am quick to ‘give up’ on it and then judge it as something that ‘just isn’t for me’ and consider that there are ‘others that are better at it, but not me,’ resulting in separating myself from a particular capacity that I simply had to keep practicing and working on, but was very quick to give up to, meaning I didn’t live perseverance on it.

I discovered this when painting last year – which yes, certainly this is what might be considered a ‘formal creative activity’, but I’ve discovered that interestingly enough it is the one thing that had become a point I separated myself from due to reacting to what I was painting and drowning into judgments of pointlessness, dissatisfaction, lacking a purpose in it, ending up losing ground on what I was physically doing as the painting. The outcome? A painting that I was dissatisfied with and that I used as an excuse to say ‘I don’t want to paint anymore, this is useless, it’s futile, I’m done with this, I’m not good at it, there’s no point to it, I just give it up’

What I became aware of within that process is how I created my own outcome in relation to painting entirely through having allowed these judgments, thoughts that translated into emotions creeping up and completely directing myself in that moment as I was painting. I also realized that my very starting point for painting was flawed, because in that one day I was using painting as a way to evade my reality and a particular conflictive situation I was experiencing with someone in my reality, but not dealing with it in myself – so I essentially created my ‘sabotaged outcome’ when attempting to create something while I wasn’t stable within myself  or ‘at my core’ in that moment, and using painting as a way to ‘evade’ instead of being there and create as myself. 

So, who was I as creator in that moment? Evading myself first of all, believing I could create a better experience through painting and forgetting about the inner conflict in relation to something else in my reality. This created an outcome of recreating all of my weaknesses of the past and bringing them through in my act of painting charged with all of these judgments and inner-annoyance that I allowed within myself even before painting and it eventually outflowed into what I ended up painting.

The painting itself stood there for over a year as a reminder of something I left half way through and as a statement of ‘this is why I don’t want to go back to painting again,’ which I knew was unacceptable, but interestingly enough I also procrastinated getting back at it.

A month ago I took that same canvas and reworked it into a different outcome that I decided to experiment with, mostly to precisely in real time work on changing my relationship to painting itself, this time being aware of having a clear starting point, being stable and grounded within myself and my decision and ensuring that I wasn’t entertaining backchats and thoughts of how ‘terrible’ it was or how ‘pointless’ this was, but instead decided that: this is me directing myself to express in this painting, being flexible and open to the outcome of it, not having a fixed idea on it and walking through that resistance that I kept ‘alive’ within me for a year or so to not paint.

While having this clear starting point, of course the ‘usual doubts’ that I had experienced in the past emerged, the notions of ‘I should be doing something else’ and various other judgments, but I decided to continue doing it anyways, continuing directing, not focusing on the ‘result’ only but rather focusing on ‘who I am’ in this whole creative process. And this can stand as a good analogy to our lives where many times we can be very ‘result-based’ and if we don’t manage to create what we want, we drown into a low, a depression, a giving up – instead of rather seeing what can we learn about ourselves in the process of creating ourselves, what skills do we develop, what challenges can we identify and practically work on overcoming? All of this makes any creative process much more enjoyable where we don’t only focus on ‘a result in the future,’ but rather focus on who am I all the step of the way to get to do or become something, which is what matters in the context of life.

This example is a way to illustrate how we are the sole creators of ourselves. If I in that past moment of painting defined myself as not good enough, as having a ‘bad experience’ while painting, then of course the outcome became a reflection on that and I would resist painting after those few hours when I started that painting – and I ‘gave up’  even attempting to do something about it and instead made of my experience ‘who I am’ by letting everyone know how pointless it was to paint, how I am done with arts, how there’s no point to it – lol – now having to eat my words and forgive myself for it because I realized how it was a way of throwing a tantrum as a result of my own self-created sabotage. It was like deliberately cutting an arm off and then believing that “I’m fine without it” This is not only about arts though, but it can be applied to anything else in one’s life.

Another example can be where I go into judgment about an expression in another and remaining with that judgment about another, not questioning, not seeing it as something I actually must debunk within myself and align within myself in order to stand equal to that person – and what happens when I remain in that judgment is I am in fact diminishing my capacity to get to know that other person, to really live the word equality and create that relationship that I can essentially establish with anyone in this world if I decide to create it and nurture it, because it ultimately is our creation: we decide, we make the changes, we live the corrections, we walk the talk so to speak and there one goes.

One can walk through a veil of judgments and into getting to know a person for real, which I’ve personally have experienced various times where there was an initial judgment toward them and through self-forgiving and stopping my participation in those judgments within myself- along with time and in a deliberate decision to get to know them better – I’ve proven myself how much I had ‘made up my mind’ about them and all that I would have prevented myself from creating if I had remained in my mind-patterns.

Self-creation therefore can be as simple as deciding to make a change about a behavior or thought pattern in our lives, we determine it, we decide on it and we ‘give it life’ by integrating such change or point of creation in our day to day living, and that’s precisely what living words is all about as well, where these words won’t ‘come up’ like thoughts or backchat in our minds as a ‘natural flow’ or ‘desire’ even to live and create  – nope, we are unfortunately not hard-wired to live creation as life, we are mostly hard-wire to self-sabotage which is illustrated in what I shared about my relationship with arts and painting when I allowed myself to be dictated by my mind, instead of standing as the directive principle.

My current relationship to self-creation is thus a relationship of self-discovery, self-awareness and ultimately self-empowerment, which comes also with the understanding that in being responsible for all that I am and create, it also gives me that certainty that no matter ‘what’ I create – if I make mistakes, if I ‘fall’, if I go the ‘wrong route’ in my choices, decisions and actions – I can trust myself that I have my self-honesty to assess myself and so do the process with self-writing, self-forgiveness in self honesty, lay out the corrections and stand up again to continue walking.

There’s no excuse anymore to ‘give up’ on something based on a ‘bad experience’ with something, I can instead practically assess what is practical to do, what makes sense to change as well as what’s practical to dedicate my time, breath of life and effort to, to be the sole director of who am I day to day – that’s self-creation right there and accordingly, we also then determine ‘who we will be’ because this reality works in patterns, so we essentially can re-wire or re-write ourselves by imprinting new ways to live from morning to night time, we can decide how we look at our day: a day to create or a day to ‘relive the problems of the past’,  we can decide to be solution-oriented, to learn to live words in moments where we see the emotions or self-sabotage creep up, to make that decision to stand up and be directive in the moment – all of these moment to moment changes and decisions are already a point of self-creation and this is precisely what this process is all about.

So, we are all creative, we all create every single moment –for the good or for the worse – and realizing that ability we all are constantly exercising and learning to honor it and act as creators with integrity, with self-respect and regard to life can truly be the way to change the fabric of the relationships we create in this world.

Also, I remind my-self not to be discouraged if things don’t work as intended in terms of change in a few first set of times, it takes practice, it takes diligence, it takes focus, it takes dedication and a commitment to self, which are all words we have to also learn to practice, live and integrate into the fabric of our very being, considering that they are also not ‘natural’ aspects in ourselves for now, but they can become part of us with the same diligence and consistency one applies to learn or create anything in reality.

We live in a physical reality, so patience is very relevant, persevering is the actual word here to look at which is also a timely reminder for me, to not lose sight of what I create on a daily basis and always see it within the greater context as well of contributing to create and bring life into the physical through my day to day living.

Sounds great isn’t it? But it takes actual work to do, so my only suggestion is to consider this creative capacity we all have and decide who we want to be as artists creating ourselves as our own masterpiece, one that we will live with and embody for the rest of our lives.

Thanks for reading

 

Multiple Possibilities to Express

 

Join us in our process of Self-Creation as LIFE

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2012 The Living ‘I’ Organism = 1+1

The need to redefine and reform society stems from our current experience within this world-system being sunk in a seemingly unstoppable downward spiral, wherein the unification of man attempted throughout time, has always been tainted by the nature of our own mindfulness which stood on the way to create an actual best for all outcome within the consideration of the whole as one and equal.

 

Society is created by each individual – we are the system – and by creating an actual sense of neighborism and compassion, within the understanding that we function as an organism wherein all parts are equally regarded for its proper functionalism, we can direct ourselves to then establish the necessary understanding through education about the power that each individual holds to create an overall reform within the current system.  This is then to the best interest of all as our current global crisis in all aspects of reality – individual and social – are revealing the institutions that govern the world are simply outdated. And no, the reform and re-direction required won’t come from your current political parties, social enterprises. This solution entails much more than being able to vote for blue or red or green or red – this system must be transformed at an individual level.

 

We live in violent times wherein the wounds from the past don’t seem to heal, but only get worse as we start realizing and discovering about the lies that we have lived as the current seemingly ‘stability’ that has been pending from one single thread, backed up by and within the delusional monetary system that is ruling over everyone, regardless. We require to heal ourselves first to heal the world, and there is no shaman required to do this: each one of us can do this for ourselves.

 

After we’ve lived  allowed ourselves to fuel our ‘lives’ with lies and abuse, thinking without ever considering the consequences, acting out of reaction, exerting our righteousness with no regard of the words we speak, it is shocking to say the least how we actually always knew what we were doing, but we simply didn’t stop ourselves from taking a moment to breathe and re-consider what words we are about to utter and our starting point for it.

 

We are all aware of these fleeting moments wherein we attempt to ‘have a good time’ yet in the back of our head there’s only dissatisfaction with self and the world, and no matter how much we attempt to show the world a smiley face, it’s just not congruent to the experience within.

 

So far, the only way that I have been able to heal myself – slowly but surely – is through Self Forgiveness. The moment we realize that we have a second chance and actually understand what this entails, you take a stand, I vowed myself to live because I saw there was nothing further down the bottom line. The point that is always feared is risking it all for something that you cannot be certain of, because life is not knowledge, life cannot be proven or shown ‘on paper’ –  not even with  words: they must be Lived.

 

My interpretation of the eye of the needle is having to let go of everything we have ever been till this day and be willing to walk myself as the ‘I’ that will finally remove de dot on top of the i  and place it ! to see everything from a different perspective. Willing to apparently ‘give up’ this idea  of ourselves, which is giving  death to the old for the new to emerge. This didn’t seem like a ‘nice idea’ in the beginning where fears to ‘lose myself’ were still prominent. Yet once I understood how we can only fear losing that which has not been real anyways, it’s been a point that makes me glad, because I realized that I no longer have to be bound to all of these ideas and judgments and tight-restrictions to ‘who I am’ because as an individual and as this entire world-system.  How can we be so afraid to let go of that which is mostly holding us down? We’ve definitely developed a masochistic relationship with our minds wherein the idea of suffering, pain, misery become ‘enjoyable’ experiences in some twisted way – still experiences, mind generated that requires to be constantly reinforced just as we require money to keep living.

 

These energetic systems are able to be reformed if we all consider the potential each one of us holds as an active participant within this world. After all, isn’t this the solution that we all sought for? Being able to be supported to live, develop self-trust and compassion for another wherein true-relationships of self-understanding can emerge – imagine no more counterfeit, blackmailing and having to cheat in order to make a living. The ties that keep the system in place are currently existent within each one of us. There is a way out, a revolutionary way that is often feared, simply because of how unorthodox is may seem. Yet our ‘rights’ have been ‘wronged’ all the way – so, what is there to actually fear?

Nothing.

 

 

If we fear losing the idea of ourselves, what do we know? Have a look at what kept us ‘away’ from such ideas – we dubbed them as ‘dreams’ and ‘utopia’ because that’s exactly what we were Taught to Think-like in this current world system. That’s why all our information industry is based on diverting our attention from actually considering that: we are all suffering, we are all living in survival mode – so why on Earth do we continue like this? Who has been in ‘control’ of it all always?

 

The truth is that the potential won’t be ‘unleashed’ unless we direct ourselves to do so. Just ponder how it is that we have really limited and diminished ourselves to not recognize that we can in fact expand and develop ourselves beyond the limitations of our own mind. The fact that we accepted and allowed such points of distraction to obfuscate our basic ability to analyze our situation, to not ponder ‘why we are stuck in this black-hole’ is already an indication of the obvious acceptance to our own self-imposed limitations – not to mention that over 90% of the world is in some form of drug-  if not everyone because even thinking becomes an energetic fix to divert our attention from our physical beingness here-as-breath.

 

To get to this point, we all had to first try out the seemingly ever tempting ‘fruits of the tree’ and then letting go of it – it is within realizing that we have developed such an obsessive-manner of living that we become fixated on ‘one single point’ and forget about the rest of reality that is HERE, probably pondering where and how on Earth we have gotten to reduce ourselves to a single experience? That should be physical abuse as well, yet we haven’t dared to call it for what it is because we are always preferring to externalize our self-responsibility to ‘others’ in our world.

 

“Between birth and death, human beings have collective work to do on Earth”
Joseph Beuys

 

We are able to stop lying to ourselves by our own volition to do so. We walk the individual process beginning with ‘cutting of all ties’ within a process of Self-Support to ensure that we do not only just stop participation in our lives, but we actually walk a process of assessing which aspects are required to be re-defined, corrected and aligned to the principle that we establish as the law of our being: Equality as Life.

 

Through applying Self-Forgiveness  we give ourselves a second chance to live. We realize that we don’t have to go carrying our past, our guilt, deeds, quirks secrets and this entire world system of abuse, violence and corruption as an ever-present hunting shadow that becomes the default experience within ourselves. We can de-fault ourselves by forgiving ourselves and start over again. What a better ‘gift’ you can give you to yourself than for-giving our negligence toward ourselves and all living participants within the world– What is it that I give to myself?

 

  • The opportunity to live and be self-directive beings for the first time in our existence.

  • The ability to develop our expression and creativity to the utmost potential

  • The  decision  to stand equal to everything and everyone in this reality that I had absolutely neglected as an equal in the past

  • The opportunity to ‘clean my wounds’ that are here as the accumulation of everyone that has gone before me

  • The recognition and realization that everything that I ever sought for has always been Here as myself

  • The capability to participate in the creation of a world system wherein each individual is equally participant and aware of the benefits that working as an actual collective brings.

  • The ability to stop living in survival mode and spend our time developing our expression wherein we will no longer be bound to the constrictions that we are currently calling ‘a living.’
    .

And a long list ensues when looking at the social-implications of it as a collective.

 

You might now realize who this is in fact the most revolutionary message we have gotten in our society, taken to a global level thanks to the e-social networks that we have now  to establish communication with people around the world, which means that the national-identification is, slowly but surely, breaking off in order to establish the basic foundation of what living by-principle actually implies.

 

Of course all of this requires our commitment to do this for ourselves, as ourselves as the whole. We must get out of our own limitations and fears that only tamper our ability to see the actual potential that each one of us holds in every single breath that we are here, committing egocide in the name of Life.

 

And for that, I give myself the only ‘reason’ to live which is self-here- equal and one, I allow myself to see beyond the current limitations of the mind to realize and take into consider-action that I hold the power of change in every breath that I am here. I realize that the definition of society begins with my self equality and oneness to then, understand society as the extension of self as individuals that stand in an equal-participation and understanding of how we function as an organism wherein no parts can be ‘greater than’ as that would mean cancer in the organism/ body, nor can anyone be ‘less than’ as that would also cause disease.

 

Only in self-equality can we get to realize what thriving actually is as a whole in this world. First step is Self-  then, we take over the world – and for that we require to stand up one by one – if you hear and see the importance of the following, join Desteni

 

“Ponder the I
in consciousness called the I AM
this is the I of the needle
as Earth is the EYE of the universe
the creator is the I of the Beholder
eye of the beholder
that is how I create in consciousness — and all I create as consciousness always return to dust
this I — yet to be born by “self” is quite something –as in a way the being stands as pure I — no programming as starting point –yet is all that is consciousness — obviously — what is not consciousness — is to the perceiver/interpreter/mind/I am/being — nothing — as the being is only what the EYE/mindseye see
the closest to what is real — is what the eye see– judgment comes from the secret I — the secret mind — that is who the being really is–and is what is to be given up –forever –with absolute certainty — no doubt ever — to be able to see with the I that is LIFE– because then LIFE see direct as I – I direct — no proof possible — because the Mindseye that wants proof — is temporary — and thus has no value what so ever”

Bernard Poolman 

 

 

“[Joseph] Beuys argued that the key to survival was in the collective transformation of the “social organism.” For him, communication between the domains of the spiritual and the earthly were primary to cultural regeneration.”

Desteni is the bridge between both realms.

Visit Destonians for more support on How to Stand up for Life


‘Oh, but I’m only a Human (Failure)’

One of the points that I struggled with to actually accept as a point to stand equal and one with was the word ‘Perfection’ wherein when that point of Self-Perfection came out I first saw it as a point wherein we allow that ‘flawed nature’ as humans within a ‘flawed system’ wherein the best justification available for all fuckups when not taking self responsibility is ‘oh but we’re only human’ or ‘I’m not perfect, I am a human’ and within that allowing ourselves to diminish ourselves as our the potential that we are actually capable and able to stand equal and one with.

We can see within that ‘flawed nature’ we diminish ourselves, it is that single back door existent in all of us when we tend to say ‘oh fuck it I don’t see myself getting to this/that point’ and it’s like a form of giving up before even starting and seeing it as ‘normal’ within is when it is not, it’s part of that which we’ve allowed ourselves to become through our participation in society, in the education system.

So when understanding Self-Perfection I realized that we’ve simply accepted perfection as something that is apparently ‘more than us’ because we’ve been used to believe that ‘perfection doesn’t exist’ which is what I told Bernard at the farm when this point was opened up and then he replied ‘Yes, perfection doesn’t exist, we create it’ and that made complete and full sense as that ‘click’ in the moment on how I was by-default giving up to actually realize that it is possible to create ourselves as self-perfection as life – obviously throughout a process that we begin with ourselves, point by point yet aligning ourselves within this very point of self perfection as what’s best for all – cool isn’t it? Being able to re-design ourselves as human beings simply because we are able to do so, it’s a matter of understanding why it’s best for all, why we require to live as equals to the fullest potential and then simply being the actual steps into applying this as ourselves.

See, before in my life when looking at solutions to this world, I would always end up saying that this world would have to be changed from its root/starting from scratch and applying that as ourselves in this moment is us re-educating ourselves at this stage paving the way for future generations – This begins with for example re-educating the now to be parents so that the same patterns and cycles of ignorance and disregard of life are able to be stopped with everyone realizing ourselves as Self-Perfection. And, when we talk about re-education it means the entire education system has to be modified within the starting point of supporting an Equality System and not a Capitalist ruthless competitive system which in itself will change the way ‘buildings are built’ so to speak – thus if we see ourselves as capable of building and creating in this world already at the level that we are doing now, we simply veer all of that to an equality starting point wherein Self-Perfection as the ability to give the best of ourselves for everyone equally is actually created, to realize that optimum level of existence as an individual and collectively is actually possible –

And this point of ‘Perfection not existing’ is something that I saw in this movie called ‘Tron’ wherein they imply how people end up going all nuts and sick of power when seeking perfection – so at the end they state that clearly on how they cannot go looking for perfection, creating a perfect system which they equate to almost a fantastic-like equivalent to fascism. So we can see how within your movies nowadays – which is a Disney movie btw for kids and all general public – we get the idea of people giving up to be able to live in an actual Perfect world – heaven on earth – wherein from a young age they are then indoctrinated to thin ‘Seeking perfection will make us mad, we can’t be perfect, perfection doesn’t exist’ and within that accepting the flawed ‘nature’ of ourselves as humans and the reflection of ourselves as the current system as ‘how things are’ not being able to be changed apparently – so that’s quite a fucked up point that is being imprinted in kids through that movie.

So, we do have to clarify the point of how when standing as Equals as Life, we we will be then actually living as Self Perfection as that which should’ve always been the actual ‘nature’ of ourselves within this world which never has been in fact due to us accepting the single fact of ‘human error/nature’ as ‘how we are’ and thus giving into failure by default – within that we can see how we are used to seeing things breaking apart – lol from agreements/relationships/marriages/families/associates/partners etc to electric appliances and all other technology designed to not last on purpose to have clients buying every year yet deliberately using this tactic because of the pre-existent belief in people that ‘nothing is perfect = things are able to break down’ or ‘ it is actually how things are and can’t be changed’ – and within that single acceptance and the proliferation of it as ‘who we are’ we have our own creation as this world wherein self perfection is placed as a crazy person’s unattainable dream.

Hear us well, we are here to get ourselves to realize ourselves as that Self Perfection that we’ve never known due to our own limitations towards this point – we are here to remove all threads of self-imposed limitation, capping ourselves, placing a lampshade to not allow ourselves to give the totality of our potential – and thus because seeing everyone else accepting that point of ‘failure’, we accept that as ourselves, as the world and entire system with everyone participating within an ingrained acceptance of ‘we are able to fail and fuck it all up, it’s our nature’ which is what must stop in all ways. Thus the importance of having to remove that inherent flawed idea of ourselves to no longer re-create that at the greater-picture level which is the current world system wherein the greatest atrocities and crimes against life are then justified and covered up with the excuse ‘Oh but I’m only human, we are not perfect’

No more excuses to be One and Equal as Life –


Breath is creator

Sharing the painting finished today.  1.6 X 1.4 m – Acrylic on craft paper

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take my breathing for granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a robot in my body for not being aware of each breath I take

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget that I’m alive in every moment because of not being aware of my breath, therefore existing only as thoughts in the mind

"That even our breath is creator because without it we die!" – social indigestion lyrics


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