612. Self Appreciation and Self Acceptance

 

One of the gifts from walking through the specifics to see what is behind the pattern of assuming and projecting what I am thinking and experiencing onto others is being able to see what I am still thinking, perceiving or believing about myself. The overall character within these assumptions has to do with ideas of me not being good enough for certain standards that I believe others have upon me, not being able to fully embrace me and particularly my creations and instead cowering up and preferring to not show anything because of still giving into all of these ideas of others being able to determine how good or bad something that I do is.

This is so particularly in the realm of showing artworks, and it’s similar to what other people that perform would experience as stage fright, that moment where one fears what others will say, how it will be criticized, judged, but never realizing all of that is self-created, it exists within me as all the thoughts, judgments, beliefs, ideals I’ve imposed onto what I create.

It has taken me some time to start breaking through it, and it also required this point of inner conflict for me to see to what extent I was holding myself captive with these beliefs about it. I also knew that just writing about it won’t sort it out, because I understand in theory what self acceptance is, what embracing myself means – but in terms of doing and living that in relation to my art, it had to do with actually taking the steps to show it. Art is meant to be seen and shown – yeah some people might say it’s not true, but here I focus on my current relationship to it – it’s a visual thing, it’s something that’s meant to be shown and so by preventing me from showing paintings for example, I had to confront the truth of why I wasn’t doing so, and that has to do with insecurities, ideas of my stuff not being good enough or creative enough or expressive enough – interestingly enough doing this within the realm that has very subjective and movable standards though.

This year has marked the return to creating art in general and that means painting for me, and walking through the plethora of judgments that I had imposed onto the process of creativity over years which led me to stop and give up on it for some time, holding a conflictive relationship with it all because of the judgments, the limitation, the standards, the ideas I projected about ‘how it must look’ and also trying to please people with it, within the consideration of also being able to sell it.

That’s a whole different point as well though where you have to make stuff that others can like in a particular market, but I’m sure that there can be different kinds of people for different kinds of expressions, which means that the real problem isn’t about ‘having others liking it to buy it,’ but it still had to do with me being able to embrace my creations.

I’ve spent many hours listening to creative individuals, mostly movie directors and artists that have gotten to a point of success because of standing behind their creations, completely embracing them as themselves, ‘sticking to their gut’ as they say and with that being able to persevere, not give up, embrace their mistakes and not be afraid of showing their creations to the world even if to them were ‘aberrations’ at first. I laughed at myself a few times while listening to them, it assisted a lot to know how it’s not easy to embrace something you create even for very successful people in the business and how everyone goes through this trial and error and dissatisfaction phase – even in a constant manner throughout their career – with their creations and how all that it requires is to keep at it, to keep moving, to keep testing.

Something I did differently this time around is to not say ‘no’ to doing commercial paintings involving themes I would have ‘never’ dared to paint before because of thinking it would go against my personal preferences. However it is through having said ‘yes’ to those things I resisted doing that I started breaking through some of my core limitations when it comes to creation and self-beliefs, which has been quite supportive.

Also on the practical realm, it assists with practicing stuff, being able to test out techniques and ways of painting I’ve never done because I had always only done ‘stuff I like’ which I’ve been able to still do and test out, but I’ve been mostly spending my time with fixed commissions which has assisted me to get comfortable and back into the practice, into the actual ‘doing’ that painting entails.

As part of walking the process of correction for these fears of judgments and comparison, I decided to start sharing and posting my paintings online on my Instagram page, because I had refrained myself from doing so throughout most of the year, so now I’m sharing some of the ones I made this year.

It is now the moment for me to test who I am within sharing: am I looking for recognition? Am I looking to be accepted by others or have positive feedback from others? And in that I decide to make it about sharing, unconditionally showing because that’s the key point I had been struggling with, showing my stuff. And yes it’s crazy because as simple as it can be for many to share stuff on Instagram or Facebook, to me it’s become a source of nervousness that I have to step into and simply direct myself to share and walk through the nervousness and insecurity in a moment before posting and then it’s done, it’s out in the open.

I realize that I have to continue developing the habit of sharing and walking through those moments that to me feel like taking ‘leaps of faith’ where all that exists is trusting me, being able to stand behind my work and let go of ‘what ifs’, it’s there, nothing more and nothing less. 

So the overall outcome of this is realizing how I can only be the one that can stop me from creating judgments, standards, ideas or beliefs of how something must look, I simply have to be there every step of the way it takes to create something and that then becomes the accumulation of me being able to stand behind my creation in whichever way it results.

This reminds me of how unconditional I used to be when it came to art creation before, I was unable to destroy or get rid of anything that wasn’t ‘good enough’ because I understood it as part of my creation process, a part of me. That might sound a bit ‘too much’ but in principle it assisted me to be much more unconditional when it comes to sharing/showing my stuff, I didn’t hold a ‘high regard’ on it or anything, I had no standards and that’s what I want to go back to again.

I also recognize how preposterous it is to compare ourselves to someone else’s expression. I definitely agree how the process of comparison is one main distractor that keeps us from genuinely focusing on our own expression, weaknesses, talents, strengths and the rest of it.  So this is an active process for me, it’s probably one of the most ingrained things along with judgment, and that means that I also have to realize that what I do as art or creativity is not all that I am as a person, it’s a part, an expression – but at the same time realizing there’s much more to share, give and express as myself beyond creative expressions, which to me has a lot to do with being able to share, coexist with others and that’s basically one of the points where this self-acceptance and embracing myself has become a more settled aspect of me, and getting to enjoy that individuality that I represent, just like anyone else does.

So I have to essentially apply the same process to my creative process and results thereof, where I have to be the first one that has to stop nullifying myself by fearing showing myself to others in whichever form or way. What’s the worst that can happen?  If any criticism, judgments, dislikes come my way, that’s then a cool aspect for me to face and confront in my life, which would only allow me to know where I am still fearing to not have a ‘spot’ in someone’s preferences, where I still as a weakness, where I am still defining myself based on others’ preferences or judgments or where I would be measuring myself only according to certain traits or characteristics and diminishing myself to only that one aspect, while neglecting the rest of the person that I am.

What I mean is that it is also totally possible that even if we embrace our creations and stand by them, If we want to make a business out of it and people are simply not buying it, it doesn’t mean that everything I am is ‘lost’ or ‘a failure’ either. It would mean that I have to keep testing out ways to see what works with others in terms of selling it. And if not, I also realize this is not the one and only thing I’m able and willing to do in my life, so in this it also points out where I have to expand my horizons and not get fixated only in the idea of ‘having to be a selling artist’ in order to survive and develop myself in this world. This is something I’ve also been considering and yes, it exists as a point of awareness and consideration, yet in practicality for now, I am dedicating myself to it, because it is only through doing this that I can face many points I had neglected to look at before because of fears.

This is also how I’ve been able to stop judging doing artworks as something ‘menial’ or ‘unimportant’ for the world, because I stopped wanting to save the world or change other people’s lives. I want to focus on developing myself in whichever shape or form I can when it comes to art, relationships, work and in relation to how I interact with other people in my reality and see where I can give the most of myself, where I can contribute the most to make something work or be taken to the next step of functionality and success.

That’s also been a major shift for a while in my life, which in turn doesn’t mean I become inconsiderate towards the world or others, it simply means I stop neglecting my life, my creation, my potential and instead of trying to sort ‘everything and everyone else out’, I now focus on creating and developing myself, because through doing that and being the best for me, I am best for all at the same time.

So, I’ll keep focusing on these aspects in my day to day

I recommend listening to these series which was also supportive to walk through these points of comparison and stepping into self-creation and self-acceptance in it.

Monsters Born From Comparison

Stopping the Comparison Monster

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE

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596. The Gifts of Criticism

Or how to walk from a reaction to criticism towards an acknowledgement, discernment, learning and embracing of it as a way to assist ourselves to grow and develop ourselves to better ourselves in many ways.

I was listening to this documentary IDO PORTAL – JUST MOVE (filmed by London Real) while preparing some canvasses yesterday and it was quite amazing to hear the parallels that can be drawn from walking through this mind-self change process that some of us have been working on for the past 9 years and someone developing physical movement in all sorts of ways in their body in order to ‘master’ themselves, which becomes not so much about the end result, but the process of ‘mastering the craft’ as Ido says.

To begin with, this documentary or ‘topic’ is something that I would not have been ‘interested’ on years ago, yet the more I saw the name of this guy being shared around within the London Real channel, the more I got curious about it and this recently released documentary is quite a recommended and enjoyable thing to watch because it’s an awesome confirmation of many of the principles and ‘tests’ I’ve gone through in my own life within developing things I thought I would ‘never do’ and in general within this process of self-change – or dare I say the ‘reinvention’ process of myself.

There are many, many points that are valuable in it and it serves as a great source to cross-reference ‘who one is’ in relation to what Ido shares, however one that got my attention is where he speaks about criticism, which you can watch/hear here https://youtu.be/qJDz7qHBGQg?t=53m14s and there are a few points that I want to take on and write out because I consider that many times, for anyone starting to do something new, or doing something ‘for the first time’ or completely ‘out of the box’ of ‘normalcy’ in this world  – which easily can be associated with embarking oneself in this process of developing self-awareness and self-forgiveness and getting to change in our day to day living – can seem like a daunting task, something that one is ‘never ready for’ and sometimes we allow criticism to ‘overpower’ ourselves if we start reacting to our own ‘beliefs’ about not being able to do it, or about others’ sudden rather ‘harsh’ input in how we are doing things or how we are ‘changing,’ not questioning what of ourselves can be ‘hurt’ by criticism.

Many times throughout sharing my vlogs related to this process on YouTube I learned to read the worst of the worst kind of criticism, trolling and bullying that you can imagine: judging everything about my voice and the way that I speak, how I look, how wrong I am in my statements, how they wish I would die or how I should go kill myself.. all kinds of stuff, not worth mentioning or typing here really, but you get the idea.

Of course the initial experience for most people is to react and go into defense mode, try and ‘win against’ those that bully/troll in that sense, but in my case I also learned to start seeing where such words reflected back to the person that expressed them – and other times being able to humbly recognize they were truly supportive feedback even if myself/my ego didn’t like it, because they enabled me to look at myself, my stance, the way I spoke and start questioning the righteousness in my ‘intellectualism’ that I many times shared in my YouTube videos as ‘this is how things are and that’s it’ – lol, the ‘fascist me’ as I call it – which led me to in fact question in a very honest manner towards me: what is it about myself and my expression that is being shared from a starting point of fear: fear of being told I’m wrong, fear of receiving criticism, fear of being seen as weak, fear of not being credible enough… all those fears were there, so what did I do next? I then worked on really seeing what of ‘my ego’ can be hurt through criticism, writing it out, self-forgiving it and applying a humbleness and understanding to it, while of course practically not allowing the ‘overwhelming’ experience criticism can create to take me for a ride, which sure can be difficult but, any process of change involves that kind of challenge and resistance and difficulty, hence my suggestion to watch Ido’s documentary as well who explains this beautifully.

I grew up being a child that was mostly praised by adults and at times hated/envied/bullied by my peers, because it seems we like to destroy that which is in any way perceived as being ‘ahead of us’ and through the support of my mother in those days, I learned to grow a ‘thick skin’ to it and realize that whatever others said or did towards me spoke more about ‘who they are’ not about ‘me’ in essence, and started to learn to ‘take the heat’ so to speak, though not really yet learning to ‘reflect’ on such criticism or learning to ‘discern’ things, which eventually took me to create a certain ‘defensive stance’ that was still ‘here’ within me not until long ago.  

However I have also been on the other side of the coin, where I have craved feedback, I have craved criticism from those that know me best and so far only one person keeps having the guts to let me know where I am still being ‘taken over’ by myself in my ego/mind patterns, which is my mother and I’m grateful for that because it is so that only those that have known you for such a long time can really have a stand point to let you know where you are ‘losing your ground’ in any given moment.

Many times I have asked partners and friends to let me know when I am losing my ground, where I am becoming a ‘problem’ about something, where I am being righteous, where I am being one-dimensional or ‘tunnel visioned’ about something and I’m also grateful that I’ve had such wake up calls from them and other people here and there, but ultimately I realize that no one has the ‘imperative’ duty to let me know all of these things, that I can also get to see these points for myself when observing me in self-honesty as ‘who I am’ in the words I write, in how I express, in what I create, in how I decide to work and do things… it becomes a self-evident measure which then I use as a way to develop self-trust so that even if those that I’ve come to ‘trust’ the most can come at me with certain criticism, I can know and be honest with myself about it being a fact or being a perception or interpretation coming from them – and that’s where self-honesty is the key to see ‘who am I’ in the eye of criticism.

To me facing, dealing with, reading, listening, getting to know of criticism about myself has been one of the most challenging yet most supportive points in my life, and not long ago I was still fearing how certain people would ‘see me’ based on certain decisions I’ve made in my life and through walking through the fears of that ‘potential criticism’ I’ve realized one thing: the worst only critic exists within myself, I am the only one that can allow myself to be ‘affected’ by words, I am the only one that can accept and allow a certain word to cause an effect within me, and you know what? If it does, then, that’s actually quite great! How else would I know that I am still holding on to an ‘idea’ of myself as ‘untouchable’ or ‘superior’ or where I am still standing in inferiority to a word, a concept, an idea if no one would dare to come at me with certain words of criticism? And here’s an awesome audio that opens this up nicely as well and that I recommend having a listen to: Who Are You When Challenged – The Future of Awareness – Part 91

 

If anything, I actually would like to get more feedback in whatever I do and am, because in that it doesn’t mean that I have to change myself to be what others want me to be, it doesn’t mean that what others say will be ‘right,’ but because I can always learn something from anything that anyone has to say about me – either about separating the wheat from the chaff as they say as in taking what I can test out/apply/try out as a way to expand myself and test ‘new ways’ discerning what’s supportive and what’s plain backchat/reactions coming from others and ‘who they are’ towards someone that maybe is projected as a reaction to the challenges experienced through my doings/expression, or where one becomes a ‘boxing bag’ for them to blame for everything they can be dissatisfied for in their own lives… both and possibly many more reasons and starting points may exist in criticism.

I’ve done such kind of criticism as well, in fact I was sharing with an old friend yesterday how I was ‘wired’ to be constantly criticizing everything and everyone, which is the same as judging or creating ‘beliefs’ about anything that’s ‘out there’ of course within that ‘vantage’ point of seeing my judgments as right and just… lol the typical self-delusion. And so how it took me a process to really get down from my ‘high horse’ and start to truly hear/read/see criticism from others towards myself as a supportive process for me to ‘see me through the eyes of others’ and get to know what is it that can in fact be ‘standing out the most’ in creating more reactions in people than support.

In that, I got to test out new ways of expressing myself: stopping wanting to seem ‘absolutist’ and ‘right’ at all times – or fearing being wrong – being less intimidating or stopping wanting to ‘impose’ myself onto others – being less attackative or stopping fearing being undermined or ‘proven wrong’ by others, being less self-infatuated or learning to question my principles through trial and error – and stop being arrogant or stop seeing ‘my way’ as ‘the only way’ to live life – which is how I can agree I ‘felt’ within myself while sharing experiences, knowledge and information in my YouTube videos for example – and how that is definitely something I continue to work on in being more ‘chilled’ about things, which has proven to be a physical process of literally relaxing, not being as ‘tense’ and ‘anxious’ and ‘rigid’ in my expression, but to allow myself to actually ‘breathe’ and be more in my body as I am communicating and expressing with others.

That way I took criticism to really look at myself and test out a few changes that I can now reference have in fact been very supportive within my current life and the way I relate to others and how genuinely enjoyable it is for me to ‘be me’ currently, whereas before I would still feel like being in a constant battlefield where anyone was an ‘enemy’ that I had to watch out my back for and be constantly assessing ‘who was out to get me’ type of thing, lol, yes like living ‘war’ mentality within me, all because of mostly fearing criticism… man, have I limited myself so much because of this and it’s not like I am ‘completely over it,’ nope, it’s still a point to continue walking but here I’m sharing some distinctive differences around it.

Even recently someone came at me with quite a nasty kind of defamation and twisting of information about something I once shared with them, and for a moment I could notice there was this reaction coming up until I forced myself to re-read and see how what was being said was a plain attack, with no validity or veracity to it and how the intent was mostly to – sorry for the words – but spread shit about myself. I was able to then cross reference ‘who I am’ in the face of being criticized, judged in this particular way, understand the person, their possible context and starting point for it, self forgive the initial ‘knee-jerk’ reaction and then let it go, because there was truly nothing to ‘learn’ from such trolling.

Back to Ido Portal here, I can relate to what he says in what he once believed he wanted to be which was ‘to be liked by everyone’ which I also really tried hard to do before – and now I realize that it’s not about being ‘accepted’ or liked by others, but simply be myself, developing that stance of ‘this is me, this is the new me that can stand by my words, that is aware of what I say, do, decide to act on and then whatever ‘heat comes at me’ I can take the criticism, work with my reactions if there are any, take the considerations as constructive feedback and keep moving on’ which also exists within a humbleness of being open to learn from others, to learn to question my own ‘tenets’ and be willing to hear different perspectives and ways of living life, which lol, was quite a difficult thing for me to embrace some years ago, but it’s cool to deliberately be challenging myself within that.

As Ido says, critics, trolls, haters usually don’t provide feedback from a practical ‘walking in your own shoes’ point which means they usually lack understanding of the process that it takes to be/become/express/do what one does, and within that it makes sense to obviously discard criticism that is not at all considering the time, the practice, the trial and error, the evolution, the changes, the adaptations that any point of creation or change involves. As he says, it’s not to avoid criticism either but to embrace it for growth and self-development – which ultimately it is so, it’s about having a ‘mirror’ of sorts wherein we can reflect back to ourselves to see how is it that what we are sharing is being received by others, and to me that’s something really precious in life, sincerely, because that’s what I personally enjoy about being a human being, where I can learn about myself through others, I can learn new things, new ways, new approaches from others and in turn also get to hear or read how other people have benefited from who I am, what I am, what I share, how I share, how I live – I consider that that’s already one steps into ‘making an impact’ on someone in a supportive manner.

Of course I am aware how I have probably also impacted people in and for all the ‘wrong reasons’ or ‘the wrong way’ as they say, but then it would also become an opportunity for them to question certain things, to maybe ‘snap’ themselves out of a certain expectation and be confronted with a more harsh, direct and ‘challenging’ point of view which I can now relate to as ‘who I was’ in those old YouTube videos that I certainly have to stop being ashamed of myself and understand within the context of who I was at that time, at that moment in my process and ultimately see that it might have assisted others to ‘check themselves’ if they felt affected, insulted or plainly attacked by whatever I said – that will be my part to take responsibility for, where I wasn’t being clear within me when sharing, where I deliberately wanted to attack ‘the perceived wrong side’ of things and where I wasn’t truly embracing ‘both sides’ as myself, because antagonism has certainly been one of the main ‘wires’ in my overall ‘wiring’ in my mind – and for that I’ve forgiven myself for not taking ‘all sides’ into considerations – and I continue to catch myself doing this and continue to learn how to practically embrace all sides, which is also quite an expansive, nurturing and fascinating process to me.

So, something I got from the documentary as well is how we have to have the courage to do things differently, to break our patterns, to decide to ‘stand up from the crowd’ not in an egotistical/superiority way, but to challenge the status quo and this begins with all the ways that we ‘share’ ourselves, which as it was recently mentioned in an Eqafe interview, we share ourselves all the time that we are around people, with words or actions, they all represent forms of communication and to me this entails both a gift and a responsibility that I have towards myself and so towards others to honor that ability, that capacity of understanding, of verbalizing, of moving, of doing that I can use as a constant point of expression, like constantly making sure who I am and what I do can become an ‘act of creation’ in itself – just like the one project I said I would do in terms of ‘becoming my own work of art’ and that’s truly then embracing our capacity as creators and authors in our own life.

In this chat I had with this friend yesterday, it was interesting to see how he considers this same point of responsibility towards himself as part of what he defines as ‘godly’ as ever present in everything, that ‘divinity’ if you will that exists within it all – which I call life – and as such it’s about taking responsibility for it/as it, honor it ourselves in the best way that we can. Of course the ‘ways’ to do it are as varied as there are human beings in this world, but that’s also what I’ve learned to see as unique and enjoyable, no two ‘human beings’ will have the absolute same ‘truth’ to themselves even if united by the same principles, it will always be different, unique yet always relatable to one another as ‘who we are’ towards one another.

So that’s how I’ve been walking a process to discharge my relationship to ‘criticism’ experienced in a negative way only and actually learn to embrace it, in my case many times being thankful whenever one comes at me challenging my perceived ‘truth’ or ‘righteousness’ because it’s not many people that dare to be so upfront with me either, and that’s something I’d like to challenge as well, because if anything I can learn a lot more from it in seeing who am I in relation to that criticism, discerning what I can use to learn, expand, grow and develop myself further and what is the kind of criticism that only contains reactions, projections with no supportive substance at all.

Another point I’ve learned is to take responsibility for my criticism towards others. If I am perceiving something is not ‘good enough’ and I have ideas of how to make it better, I am not just placing them out for ‘others to do and implement’ and leave the work-load for others to ‘do that for me,’ but I am learning to take responsibility/be in charge of my own criticism and turn it into a proposal for change and expansion that I can actively create and commit myself to contribute with, which is a way where one can take that stand of not only ‘noticing flaws’ and blaming or pointing fingers at others because ‘they are not doing it,’ but rather turn it into a self-empowering point of contributing to the cause, of being the one that does, acts, creates that which we can see is ‘missing’ within something or that could better things for everyone – now that’s quite a constructive criticism as well that leads to actions, doings, to creating changes for the betterment of something or someone, which is lined to sharing responsibility, to empowering oneself in such capacities as well and of course considering the benefit for ourselves and others in it.

Here also making sure that I am aware of ‘who I am’ within that criticism or providing such feedback, if I am doing so from a starting point of blame and disempowerment or if I am truly genuinely wanting to assist with something to better it, and that’s also something where I can only check within myself and how even if it may be perceived as finding faults or blame, I can only ever focus on making sure my starting point is clear, which also makes room for becoming more specific in how to communicate things in a way where one’s intent, starting point and contribution is clear for all people involved in such situation.

So, if there’s any reaction of disempowerment, feeling ‘not good enough’ etc. when getting criticism by others – or even within one’s own mind –  it’s definitely time to place it out on paper, write it out, using self-forgiveness to see ‘who am I’ or ‘what of me’ is being ‘hurt’ by it, where am I going into disempowerment, where am I actually believing myself to not be capable to stand this ‘heat’ of the moment and use that to strengthen ourselves, to identify our weaknesses and actively work on re-aligning ourselves within them to a version of ourselves that can learn to read/watch/hear criticism objectively and develop an understanding of ‘where it is coming from’ and discerning what’s supportive and what’s not – that’s something that surely takes some practice but as anything, we all start somewhere and the point is getting to actually Do it, that’s the difference, rather than just remaining wallowing in worry, concern, pity and disempowerment about it, and that’s why I also recommend watching that first part of Ido Portal’s documentary, quite a fascinating parallel to understand what it entails to change at a Physical level – and not only talking about exercise/movements here – but about who we are in our minds as well.

Criticism is a great way to challenge myself and as such, I definitely have open doors to it, I kind of crave it at times which is an imbalance as well lol, so I have to simply take it as it comes and use it constructively as I’ve explained in this blog today.

Thanks for reading.

Please take your time and invest in supporting yourself while also supporting Desteni/Eqafe providing this information/courses that I have benefitted tremendously from and without which I would not have been able to write my story as I did just now, and you can do so by getting self-support audios, all of which will enrich your life in many more ways than what I’ve just shared above, including Ido Portal’s input on several things coincidentally being echoed in the content of this material, which is quite a cool confirmation of how this physical process of self-change takes place:

• Exploring the Physical with Bruce Lee – The Future of Awareness – Par…

• Bruce Lee on Becoming Idle for our Idols – The Future of Awareness – …

• Who Are You When Challenged – The Future of Awareness – Part 91

• Debunking Self Beliefs – Back to Basics

• Introduction to Self Bullying and Self-Hatred – Atlanteans – Part 473

• Self Bullying and Self Hatred Part 2 – Atlanteans – Part 474

 

 

 

Join us in our process of Self-Expression as LIFE

• Free Online DIP Lite Course

• School Of Ultimate Living | Facebook

• EQAFE.Com : SELF Education and SELF Awareness Store

• 7 Year Journey To Life Process : People Sharing their Processes of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

• Get Real with Cerise & Joe

• Desteni Radio

• Desteni Articles

• Destonians

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• Agreement/Redefining Relationship Course

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• Creation’s Journey to Life

• Heaven’s Journey To Life

166.Absinthe-Minded Comfort Zone

Enter-tament, me-die and the perfect drug for our minds created by ourselves as our mind.

Continuing from the blogs:

• 165. Following Self Interest is In Fact Self Abuse
• 164. Who am I within Procrastination (2)
• 163. Who am I within Procrastination?
• 162. Either Do it or DIE

We’re diving in for a moment into a palpable aspect that is constantly ‘there’ as a seemingly innocent distraction that turns into a temptation which comes packaged and sold as ‘acceptable products’ called diversion and entertainment.

One of the aspects wherein we tend to ‘give in’ to this seemingly ‘enjoyable comfort’ is when we in fact get way too comfortable for extended periods of time surfing the net, watching series, looking at pictures, videos, reading magazines of filling-information – al of these actions that involve passively watching/ reading/ hearing something that is – most of the times – not supportive or even related to informing ourselves about the current state of the world, other than revealing and depicting the actual downward spiral that indicates the current state of the mind-possession we are existing as humanity. I have to clarify that I am in no way condemning entertainment, but I’ll speak today from my own experience.

To write about this today, I obviously had to try the enticing ‘cocktail’ first as I saw a news note about one of my past ‘idols’ being arrested for weed and hash possession while looking extra skinny/ anorexic. I wondered why it is that we are placing so much attention on people’s melt downs and disgrace and how this type of entertainment – such as celebrity gossip and all this type of sensationalism – becomes this pastry that we all nibble on to get a ‘filling’/ feeling for a moment,  even just when reading absolutely different kind of news, one ‘dabbles’ on the right side of the window where all the ‘showbiz’ news are on.

 

I saw myself gasping on the amount of money wasted in in a single nail polish, the entire scandals upon ‘rockstars’ throwing tantrums on stage or being jailed for drug possession, seeing people having babies and getting married or getting back together, ‘racy’ shots at all times and essentially this is something that no matter where you go in the net within a regular ‘newspaper’ / news site you get to. And the point of curiosity and eventual ‘enticement’ is what we eventually drown ourselves into, for a moment, for a while and suddenly we are just following an experience instead of actually being HERE as breath.  And  the important point to consider is this sudden shift wherein we can be doing something that is practically here and we’re for example being fully directive, however when this point of ‘temptation’ emerges and we go into it, it’s like diving into the rabbit hole if one is obviously not really self directive in handling images, information and pictures that can create this sense of ‘comfort’ through entertaining ourselves with other people’s lives and stories.

“This being due to the extent of our automated participation, acceptance and allowance of our relationship, definition and experience of/as the Mind as Energy that one would in the beginning of one’s process only become aware of a Character Activation in later phases of its activation stage. Essentially, that – we’ve in our Awareness, accepted and allow the “Force” of/as the Mind/Consciousness to automatically control, direct and ‘take over’ within ourselves, and so now one is assisting and supporting self in the Process of re-establishing self and so self’s awareness into and as self-directive principled living.” – Sunette Spies

 

So this is what I noticed in relation to us allowing the ‘force’ to become the directive principle, and  us giving ourselves away to become the ‘Absent-Minded’ Character, wherein one simply let oneself ‘flow’ with the drive of whatever is in front of us and start thinking and going deeper this is how the entire passivity that becomes our ‘’way of living’ in our current society, it is how the reward system after long hours of work is set up; you get home from work, you require to sit down and just Chill – worry not about the actual problems in the world – and ‘entertain us’ to in fact live in denial of what is here, and more than a denial a deliberate neglect toward our reality, how it functions, how other human beings are living in.   And within me trying this out and becoming ‘absent minded,’ I saw it and experienced it: it’s like being constantly watching movies wherein you don’t really have to do anything else other than looking, probably reading and filling in the gaps in the mind, and creating a sense of ‘comfort’ within it, which indicate obviously: mind experience as the only constant self-comfort that exists in fact and reality is here as breath, being absolutely self directive at all times.

For now we know that following this accepted and allowed pattern of entertainment is the best way to keep ourselves busy in trivial points that have no transcendence within our reality as humanity other than stimulating one’s own fantasies, dreams, imagination and any other mind experience, which is how ourselves as the mind and the entire world functions, really, even making money out of such ‘spare time’ is the greatest ways to make money, which implies that the system in itself is perfect within which we’ve lead ourselves to our own guaranteed doom if we do not act out and actually Do what is required to be done to re-establish a point of self responsibility toward everything and everyone on Earth.

 

Now, what does this have to do with procrastination? Distraction, it is within this decision to deliberate Not do what is required to be done that we immerse ourselves within the entire ‘media world’ wherein even if you’ve watched/ read the same news once, one go seeking for more as if there was a sense of vicarious atonement to other people’s lives that seem like ‘unreal’ to us, while presenting this absolutely deluded aspect of reality that somehow we’ve managed to venerate and revere to as humanity, calling it the outflows of fame and fortune: This is our civilization at the expense of the physical substance that is life on/ as Earth.

And this is our ‘entertainment,’ which seems quite innocent when it begins with quick glances at news from showbiz, quick glances at magazine covers, then getting hooked up in a particular article/ news and from there,  ‘one thing leads to the other,’ which is just a blatant excuse of course. What is is this sense of ‘feeling good’ within this all as the absent minded character, losing track of one’s breath and setting in on autopilot , it’s because one for a moment only delves in the experience of not having to be ‘performing’ something, not having to be doing/ acting/ speaking within the world, one can just simply ‘sink in,’ set in the media-drive and ride in autopilot for as long as we allow The Force to drive us by. 

 

What I realized is how media is an externalization of our own imagination, backchat, internal conversations and general mind-tament that we have created for our individual pleasure. Before there were ever iPhones and iPods and personal computers, there was only the theatre of our own mind, being able to be ‘fine tuned’ to match our own ‘wildest dreams,’ never ever ever being aware of what actually could power such marvelous ‘colorful theatre’ up there in the realm of ‘ideas’ that we identified as ‘who we are.’ Well, we have become such thoughts through actually acting them out/ living them out in the physical and that’s the ultimate possession. We have become drones of our own externalization of the mind and now it is as if Marshall McLuhan almost could have ‘gotten it’ for a moment, however he never pondered about the actual energy that could power such mind mechanism later on externalized as our current mediatized society.

Once again, I can see myself as the character I had become when judging the media and its ‘tacky contents,’ however who are we whenever we are not HERE present as the physical, who are we when we are not really aware of every breath that we take, where are we and what are we driving ourselves to when being passively observing, hearing and essentially consuming experiences in an audiovisual mode and see how we don’t necessarily have to be watching TV or reading up stories for that, we within the mind create our own entertainment. And, yes,  it’s the perfect addictive state to continue creating our own theatre of shadows wherein the shadow self is what we have actually become: nothing else but a single automated version of ourselves, allowing ourselves to miss ourselves here physically– however we often do not ponder How it is that we created such entertainment, why, what was its purpose? And it’s quite easy to answer all of this when realizing how within us accepting and allowing ourselves to build a world based on that which we could THINK of and rationalize about reality –with its obvious diversion-mechanisms – instead of actually physically being here, interacting, exploring and discovering what is HERE as the entirety of the physical relationships that we have absolutely missed when only living in a plastic bubbled type of living, always thinking about reality and/or rejoicing in absorbing/ consuming information that is utterly useless for us to develop as humanity.

 

There is a moment of deciding to Not do what we have to do, to Not give proper direction to our every day living wherein we Instead, picture ourselves being comfortably numb with sounds, pictures, stories that somehow we’ve sought to read in order to activate our autopilot throughout the day and pretend that ‘that is all to life,’ which is how it goes on with Television and any other social-media site wherein one spend long ours a day just consuming, passively taking and taking and taking in and missing every breath as we just zone-into the comfort zone.

 

And this is how within the nature of us seeking our own self-interest of the ‘good feeling/ comfortable’ experience in one single moment, we give into the mind, completely and absolutely. Test this out for yourself, probably you’ll not be even aware of this while ‘testing it out,’ but only realize about it once you directly decide to stop it/ step out of it, and that is where we fall flat on the face of ourselves and the amount of time we can spend on a daily basis doing practically nothing – be it media, be it just sitting doing nothing, finding any point of distraction to not direct ourselves to do things.

 

And this is thus exploring the thought that comes up which is a remembrance of such seemingly ‘enjoyable moments’ wherein we then seek to repeat such pattern at all cost, never ever knowing that such cost is not paper-money or metal coins or digital numbers on a screen – even if most of entertainment at such level must be a service one pay for – It is instead our very own flesh and physical body that we consume every time that we just hop in the bandwagon of entertainment which does not only comprise the most obvious types of media entertainment within TV or pc’s as well. This is about one single thought that we’ve attached this idleness/ passivity to, creating a single image, picture, thought, internal conversation and absolute ‘beingness’ of the being suddenly realizing: how the hell did I just spend hours surfing on the web, looking for this and eventually getting nothing out of it other than a few moments of believed and perceived ‘enjoyment’ at the actual expense of the physicality that is transformed into energy, which is how we power up any seemingly ‘good feeling’ experience.

 

Now, it is to understand that such media is our creation and reflection of who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become: self-gratifying individuals that hardly ever look at how it is that the money that buys the honey is created. And within this ‘machinery’ it is to also see how these are mind control and mind created mechanisms that we as humans have imposed onto fellow humans to generate passivity in relation to what should be our direct participation in the world system.

 

From Absent-Minded to Presence-Hereness

Have a look at how life would be if we suddenly had access to a dignified living for all, would we spend time only diving into images, pictures and sounds 24/7? or are we in fact living out the slave-enter-tament that we’ve ensured to even deify or even laureate as being ‘more’ than ourselves, never realizing that the entire set of entertainment is a well-made joke on us. This is not to satirize media or in any way become a blatant critic of it, it’s about recognizing the actual self direction that we abdicate every moment that we go into the me-die and allow ourselves to be mind controlled: we just hook on, log in and ‘play’ in our minds or more like get entertained by all pictures, sounds, stories and any other occassional artsy shot that we are so used to seeing everywhere nowadays. And this is how self movement and self expansion is mutilated at the core, creating a sense of ‘everything is fine-ness’ that we believe is real because we see happy people in our screens and magazines that we want to experience as well, in an imaginary way through this entertainment, believing that there must be ‘something’ about life other than endless payrolls and spending your last ‘savings’ on getting yourself bailed out for another couple of years.

 

Who has done this all ? We have, we as the mind invading the physical have driven ourselves to our very own decay, and within understanding the basic frame of how the mind words, one can go seeing, realizing and understanding that it is very easy to slip back into habitual patterns of finding out these type of entertainment that is not necessary to ‘exist’ at all. We rather breathe and take things for what they are, see the world for what it currently is: the externalization of our ‘likes’ and ‘dislikes’ about our creation/ our reality and within this ensure that we start pondering what actual honor is and how immovable it must be  to catch us all within the fishnet. And once again, having a snail teaching us about what science should be and how deluded our words are, is the most humbling experience, to learn how to see and recognize our mistakes, where we invest’ our time in, where we waste away our breaths into feeding a mind leech curiosity that we believe is ‘normal and innocent;’ well, best is to Not assume at all but actually understand this relationship between the mind and the physical and within this realizing what we have in fact postponed on Earth which is the ultimate establishment of an equality system, wherein no more profitable excuses will exist in order to NOT explore, support and expand ourselves in our Physical reality.

We are the ones that have created our limitations, we are the only ones that can set us free, beginning with ourselves. Thus is it still a ‘real freedom’ or a simple alignment to give and receive as equals, as what’s best for all?

 

We decide how we live the words and like any other addiction, we decide when and how to ‘give up’ the absinthe-minded droneism and start living here as breath in the physical.

 

to be continued…

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Equal Money System

Journey To Life

 

 

Blogs:

• Character Dimensions – IMAGINATION Dimension (Part 2): DAY 166

• Day 166: After Death Communication – Part 15  – A History with Life After Death

 

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• The Spirituality of the Snail – Part 1

153. Life is Beautiful when You Got Money

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create an experience toward people walking in a mall wherein everyone seemed to be very busy and ‘happy’ in consumerism, wherein I realized that I was also becoming a character wanting to deliberately give a message with my physical movements and gestures of ‘you are all deluded,’ without realizing that such people and what they are doing is no different to what I used to do in the past, with my very own consumerist fixations while being high on the rush of ‘we have money, let’s buy the stuff that I want.’

When and as I see myself creating a deliberate stance of superiority based on diminishing all people in a mall as ‘brainless consumerist drones’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am becoming only a character that is judging and opposing beings based on ‘who I am’ in my  mind/ ego/ past in such moment instead of being here unconditionally as breath, not determining who I am according to a building/ people/ environment where things are bought and sold.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that ‘Life is beautiful when you got money’ as a way to create an experience of superiority upon others when seeing myself coexisting within an environment where the world seems to be reduced to endless rows of shops and people consuming/ buying as if that is what ‘having fun’ is supposed to be about. I realize that this is me judging a single building, with stores where people buy and sell stuff that they can afford with money or not. And that is just how we have created and fabricated our current reality and within this, there is no point to judge other than seeing how a point like a mall exists within the context of our entire current world system, wherein money defines who is able to have such type of entertainment/ fun through buying/ consuming along with others on a Friday afternoon. 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pace myself around the mall, waiting for the rain to stop and wanting to present myself deliberately as someone that is Not there as ‘part of the whole consumerist/buying thing’ but out of going there for a sheer necessity in the moment, which is obviously linked to buying something as well – thus  I realize how I am only judging that which I obviously do in my every day living which is buying to consume and live, buying things that we eventually require as secondary points in our lives – and I see that I have judged this point of buying based on the amount of money that one has, wherein if I see myself having little to no money, the experience of separation toward people with lots of money is exacerbated as an inferiority that is transformed into contempt and general judgment toward ‘their lifestyles;’ and when I ever saw myself having sufficient money I could then create this experience of  ‘superiority’ based on me assessing being standing on an ‘equal-stance’ toward people that had money to buy and within this, creating this positive experience as well within me when going shopping/ buying as part of what I was taught should be our ‘fun time’ as family – for example – a decade ago.

 

When and as I see myself creating a general experience of criticism toward a particular environment wherein wealth/ money is all around and wanting to become the point that is there trying to ‘make a point’ of it all being just bullshit through how I behave and move myself around, I stop and I breathe.  I realize that we are all equally subsumed in this world system wherein buying/ consuming is part of our day to day living due to how we have condemned/ enslaved ourselves to only be able to eat, wear clothes, have proper services if we have enough money to buy it all. Thus

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System to ensure that buying is no longer only a ‘positive experience’ linked to ‘having enough money’ to eat, buy and ‘have fun’ through buying secondary needs/ necessities, as I see and realize how we have created these labels onto stuff based on the amount of money as a price tag that we have imposed onto reality – thus there will be no more points of ‘luxury’ and ‘second needs’ but an actual informed decision to – first of all – produce that which is actually necessary and also cool to support our day to day living, and from there consumerism in itself will stop being ‘consumerism’ as a derogative term that it has become now within our current culture of money as positive experience – and instead, will become the single transaction of equal-money to get that which we require to live – being it first/ basic needs or that which we can call at the moment secondary needs, which will exist as products/ services that are in accordance to a genuine living-expression, which is the basic principle upon which products and services will exist in the Equal Money System.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all things in stores as pretentious bullshit and unnecessary variety, without realizing how I have been part of this world and accepted this desire to be unique, special, original as well, which is the origin point of how all that which we consume is extrapolated to ‘the most special/ the greatest/ the most original’ item that is promoted in such ways in order to make money out of it, which is what we have enslaved ourselves to: a monetary system that requires to create ‘new needs’ in order to continue buying/ consuming and as such maintaining the flow of money as a currency/ current that is based upon abuse of this physical reality for our own benefit and pleasure.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from any being there by silently judging them as ‘oblivious to reality’ due to being there, having money to buy and ‘have fun,’ which can only exist if I have judged money, buying, fun according to knowledge and information of how there are ‘billions of people that can’t experience the shopping-high’ without realizing that in such moment of me judging the whole event and moment is doing nothing at all to solve the problem that money as a disparity in living conditions have created in our world, due to our own accepted and allowed separation from what is here through money, creating an entire value-system/ scheme to categorize people according to the amount of money they have/ don’t have – and accordingly, ‘live’ a life of happiness and satisfaction when there’s more than enough money to buy or the inequality existent as poverty when having no money to buy and sustain themselves properly

 

When and as I see myself judging people that have money as oblivious to reality because of the security that money represents, I stop and I breathe – I realize that judging does nothing but adding up to the separation from the physical reality that we have abused because of another mind-created desire to ‘be more’ which is what I become in my mind when creating an authority of ‘judging people with money’ in a superior mode, without realizing that we are ALL equally participants and creators of All that exist, and that it is then to stop all judgments and walk in the physical no matter what the scenario is, no matter what ‘types of people’ are around, as I see and realize that all these variations and definitions toward a physical environment/ people are based on the effect that we have all duped ourselves with as money, which enables to create either a better picture presentation from/ of our reality or not.

Thus it is to see how the moment that we judge something that is ‘over the top’ from the social standard of ‘normal living’ and existing in/as an excess of wealth is simply something useless to do, as it is not to judge reality, but understand what are the actual origins that lead to the creation of such places and forms of ‘living’ as humans, wherein we have separated ourselves from the physical-cycles of life and artificialized it into a system that is sustainable only according to rules and regulations that we are currently existing as our capitalist system.

I commit myself thus to within stopping judging reality, simply observe what is here and without ‘backchat’ instead take note of the points that I observe in order to realize how we are all creators of such points, what deficiencies exist within the entire system to enable polarized versions of reality to the extent where some live in the utmost wealth and opulence while other live in the worst poverty and starvation that is possible to ‘exist as’ within this world – how we have all agreed to continue living in a system wherein life is not equally valued, but only reduced to a consuming system that is available for some only, while the Earth is giving all that is here without a single ‘bill’ to be paid for.

 

This is how I assist and support myself to transform any judgment toward the world system and reality to take it back to self and see where and how we have all created, accepted and allowed the current system to move/ exist as it does now, and within this also at an individual level identify how such judgments can only exist if I had formed a previous relationship to such – in this case – wealth, money and ability to buy everything that I could possibly want, which has obviously existed within me in my past wherein I also learned that shopping and consuming is a  positive experience and a ‘must do’ when one has more than enough money to live.

There’s multiple aspects and dimensions of judging a point that we see ourselves being ‘vexed’/ bothered by, which can  only exist if we have created a relationship of separation toward it, that’s why and how we see ourselves often judging everything and everyone in our world, because everything that we have become is that: separation. And as long as we continue accepting such judgment as a way to cover up the responsibility we hold toward the creation of this entire system, we’ll remain as judgmental victims of our own self-created hell, and I am not willing to continue diminishing ourselves to being ‘only that.’

Thus I commit myself to take responsibility for myself, my actions, words and attitudes, being very aware of how I present myself in any given place/ situation and not ‘adapt’ myself to create any point of resistance or physical judgmental behavior toward that which I perceive as living in the saying ‘Ignorance is bliss,’ as all we had lived as and by as humans is just that, we’re barely beginning to wake up and open our eyes to the extent of abuse that we have imposed onto ourselves and all living beings, just because of seeking this point of happiness.

There’s more to look at here, definitely.

Join us in our Journey to Life to take responsibility for ourselves, our world and reality and support each other the way that it always should have been from the beginning of who we are as existence.

 

Desteni

Desteni Forum

Desteni I Process 

Equal Money System

Economist’s Journey To Life 

 

Blogs:

Thought Designs – Part 1: DAY 153

DAY 153: After Death Communication – Part 3

 

Interviews:

Recommended Education about the World System of Money and the relationship to ourselves as the Mind and the Physical Reality:

• The Soul of Money – The Oneness and Consequence of the Existential Bodies – Part 35

• The Soul of Money – How Money thrive from Personality Evolution – Part 33

 

Consumerism explained in this series:

• The Consciousness of the Frog – Part 1

Further support:

• Reptilians – The Human Picture – Part 25

• Life Review – My Life as a Billionaire

• Life Review – Comparison, Judgment and Competition

27. It’s always only been me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify everything and everyone I see with my eyes with a particular judgment that will allow me to believe that ‘I know it/ know them’ when in fact, all that I have been always been looking at is only a picture that I define and categorize within my mind according to the value schemes that I have created toward everything/ everyone at a face value, not realizing that everything I see is the reflection of my own mind as judgments, ideas, beliefs or perceptions wherein the moment that I impose this idea/ belief/ judgment onto others, I am becoming my own dictator over reality as I have not even allowed myself to get to know me as my own mind, and I have dared to judge and pretend that I know others just by a single glance at them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to cultivate this idea within me as a child of being apparently able to ‘know what a person is all about’ just by looking at them, when in fact it was just me creating the idea/ belief and perception of such person through my own eyes

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was always ‘right’ when it came to the visual judgments that I would create onto others in order to identify ‘what they’re all about,’ wherein I never realized how I was becoming the very judge, dictator and boundary to actually get to know another, simply because of becoming my own selective-color function, wherein all colors as people/ personalities that I ‘didn’t like,’ I would not bother to talk to/ get to know simply because of deeming them as ‘not compatible’ with myself, which was only following the judgment at a face value of ‘who another is’ which is always only me reflecting my own value-scheme toward everything and everyone as separate from me.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become an elitist in my own mind wherein I would only be open and friendly toward people that at face value I would deem would be ‘similar to me’ or that I would be able to get along with, simply because of the image that I would perceive them to be, be recorded/ assessed as part of the people that are ‘cool’ and that I would like to communicate with/ get to know, while doing the exact opposite toward people that at face value I would judge as incompatible with myself, not being ‘in the same realm,’ and in that becoming the very separator that fuels the current existence wherein while standing divided in our personal-religions as self-image and constantly projecting judgments onto each other, we become absentees of the physical reality, wherein all that we have cared for is how we look/ how we present ourselves to then try and manipulate ‘how others will see us,’ which is all based in keeping track of my own ego as what I have accepted and allowed myself to become, a simply and image.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to be perceived as simplistic by how I look, without realizing that in this I am still wanting and expecting to be ‘judged by others,’ instead of simply becoming the point that stops judging myself, creating judgments in my mind and projecting them to everything/ everyone wherein I have been constantly expecting to be judge because  have become the very perpetual judge myself toward me and all that I have deemed is separate from myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imprint an energetic experience of superiority every time that I could have the ability to judge another for ‘who they are’ and assessing whether I see myself as superior or inferior toward the judgment that I create of the, wherein I would then act accordingly toward them. This implies an automated experience hen being with people, regardless of them being close acquaintances or simply people in public places, which implies that I have become the very judge of my reality in separation of myself for the sake of constantly being assessing me as a certain ‘value’ in comparison to others.

When and as as I see myself assessing others to ponder whether I am ‘more’ or ‘less’ than others according to the judgments I project onto them that actually stem from myself and my mind only – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am able to stop the judgments in the moment and focus on the physical reality to simply breathe and continue moving/ walking and directing myself in the physical reality.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to become angry at people that I would deem as ‘judgmental,’ without realizing that I had become the very epitome of judgment in its full splendor simply because of being able to judge another with the very same application that I was existing as in that very moment, which is the proof that when I am in my mind, I am always justifying my judgments and assessments as ‘acceptable,’ without ever really seeing that I was only playing out the secret judge in order to ‘be in control’ of my environment, seeking to be always ‘guarding’ myself toward potential beings that could be ‘judging myself, which indicates the level of my self-created paranoia toward others beings being constantly judging me, which was always only me judging myself at all times.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever become absolutely freaked out by people staring at me, because of me believing that they were judging me/ lusting at my image when in fact, it was all self-created as an idea that I have created of myself as a picture that can be infinitely judged and lusted upon, which has become an ingrained aspect of constantly ‘guarding myself’ from ‘potential judges’ which are mostly men that I have created a pattern of rejection and arrogance toward whenever I have believed that they are only judging me and lusting over my body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become deliberately hostile, rude, laconic toward beings that I would perceive and believe to be judging me, when in fact I was only hearing to the backchat in my head that eventually would become my experience toward such beings, believing that ‘I was always right’ in thinking that they were judging me, when in fact several times I got to prove myself wrong, giving myself a slap on the face with a white glove, simply because I would then be faced with the remorse and regret of having judged someone based on my own value-schemes, which had prevented me from communicating with the beings. And when I was actually able to communicate with them, I would realize that I had simply been ‘wrong’ and ‘mean’ toward them for no reason, really.

 

So, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I always had to ‘assess a being’ to see  how I would behave toward them, which would be a usual ‘application-mode’ when meeting people such as ‘assessing them in my mind, ‘ to then see ‘what they’re all about,’ and then deciding who I am going to be toward them, wherein I would deliberately camouflage myself to fit the moment/ event/ person/ situation to mirror my own judgments toward such people, which meant that I would be limiting ‘who I am’ to a single judgment/ definition of how I perceive others to be, never realizing that it was Never about ‘them’ but always about me and how I would become the very judgments that I projected onto others, simply because of believing that ‘like attracts like, ‘ and in that manipulate the situation according to a desired outcome of being ‘attractive’ for others or existing as the exact opposite, all in the name of taking my ego for a ride of self-gratification by either adulation or rejection, reducing my life experience to being a constant on and off, in and out, good and bad, happy or dismal, fulfilled or unfulfilled, while always having missed the constancy and consistency that my physical body would grant myself with in every moment that it would endure my constant existence of self-judgment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play the game in society wherein according to what you wear, you become a character that is able to get along with similar characters, even when perceiving that I could have a no-image/ no –character simply because of within my mind, existing within this idea that I am the clothes that I wear and that I still want to portray myself in a certain image that can be identified as a particular definition that can suit in other’s minds as someone that looks always the same.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define what I wear as a projection of the image-based idea of simplicity, when in fact I am simply caging myself yet into another idea of ‘me being the clothes that I wear,’ because this would apparently allow me to be judged by others as ‘simple/ always looking the same’ according to the clothes that I wear.

 

I realize that the fact that I wear similar clothes simplifies my every day living wherein the focus is on how I experience myself within the clothes that I wear  – if they are physically supportive or not – instead of seeing them as part of the image that I define myself as and how I want to be seen by others, which is still existing as a point of expected judgment according to how others see me.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever discriminate/ judge/ diminish people for what I would deem as a hideous attitude when in fact, all that I was judging was myself as a hideous attitude that I would actually become myself the very moment that I would dare to judge another as a ‘hideous person.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to become a self-righteous person when it came to judging people/ assessing/ profiling others wherein I believed that ‘I as always right,’ which comes from the ingrained belief that I could in fact have some type of ‘gift’ that n no one else had when it came to being able to assess other beings’ life according to being 15 minutes in their house, hearing them speak, move, seeing what they wear, what they own, how they interact with others, wherein I would then create a definitive assessment of ‘who they are/ what they are all about,’ which now that I see, would usually end with perceiving most of the people to be just ‘fake’ and ‘hypocritical’ without realizing that I was the only critic and judge in that moment.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to sugar coat this automated judgment as ‘constructive criticism’ wherein I believed that through identifying someone’s flaws and strengths I was actually doing something ‘constructive’ in any way whatsoever, without realizing that such judgments can only exist within my own mind according to how I value and asses something/ someone according to my own mind-schemes of values acquired through a particular lifetime experience.

This means that any process of deliberating what is more valuable/ worthy within this reality and what is not, is essentially creating a world of further separation wherein we’ve got lost in categories, values, worth, seeking to be accepted and valuable at the eyes of others, never realizing that any ‘opinion’ or judgment created by another was only stemming from themselves as a reflection of their own mind – which implies that I have only been staring back at me every time that I tried to make a judgment about anything/ anyone.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that by seeing everything in a beautiful manner = I would create beauty and happiness in my world, without realizing that I actually did create such experience not as an actuality, as an inherent property of the world being that of positivity/ beauty/ magnificence – but it only became a self-created projection as a mind-possession wherein in this desperate desire to seek for beauty/ and the experience of being ‘alive,’ I became my own positive-seeking demon, wherein I believed that things would happen to me ‘for a reason’ and that I was being rewarded by some ulterior forces because of being constantly seeking to see the bright side of the world, without ever pondering if I had only simply been the creator of such experiences within my own mind, without any actual manifestation of ‘beauty’ or ‘aliveness’ existing as an actual property of the beingness of  beings/ things in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that every time that I judged someone as hypocrite, it was me existing as hypocrisy staring back at me, as a judgment of my own mind that I created and used to project onto others in a form of superiority as in ‘knowing better’ and believing myself to be ‘not hypocrite’ because ‘I’ was the one that was able to ‘spot’ hypocrisy on others.

I realize that this unnecessary cycle of self judgment can be stopped when and as I see myself looking at another and perceiving them as ‘hypocrite’ – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only reflecting my own mind at another and that obstructs my ability to communicate and interact with another without any preconceived idea of ‘who they are’ based on ‘what they look like.’

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that every time that I perceived and judged another as ‘hostile,’ I was in fact simply reflecting my own hostility toward others, wherein I would reflect back that hostility as my own judgment staring back at me – this means that I would become the very judgment that I would project onto others/ or act out the exact opposite, such as deliberately being more friendly/ warm as per personality definition according to the situation I was in.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always become the judgment that I would project onto others in my mind, wherein I would be the actual cause of the perceived ‘communication gone wrong,’ wherein I would create an entire inner experience of being ‘misunderstood,’ without realizing that I had secretly projected a judgment toward another such as being ‘hostile,’ and as a response, I would become hostile myself and ‘shaping it’ into ‘my own personality’ which was that of self-victimization as in ‘being misunderstood’ when communicating with another.

 

When and as I see myself judging another as being hostile toward me – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am simply reflecting back that which I am existing as in the moment of judging another, regardless of the ‘shade of judgment,’ I see, realize and understand that in order to stand one and equal to all and everything, I have to stop any automated judgment to exist within my own mind. I direct myself to continue participating in the physical moment without assessing the event further in my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that whenever I judged another as being probably ‘bored’ with me, it was me reflecting back what I was judging myself as in the moment, wherein through projecting my own judgment in my secret mind and not communicating about it, I would become that boredom and fedupness myself, wherein I would then be existing in an energetic possession of ‘boredom’ and ‘dullness’ that would set the tone for the moment when and while being with another, which would cause the entire point of communication to be non existent and into what I had perceived as an uncomfortable silence, while resorting to distract myself with any other picture/ image in my environment to shove away the experience.

 

When and as I see myself projecting the judgment toward others as ‘them being bored with me,’  – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am in fact only projecting that which I am judging myself for, wherein through a process of becoming such judgment, I have in fact been the creator of my experience toward others, without having ever taken responsibility for it and instead, remain in the usual self-victimized state wherein I could remain secretly blaming another for what I would experience within me as a result of my own mind projection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use what I see as a vice of self-judgment, wherein I believed that I had the ability to judge what is good/ bad, beautiful/ ugly, magnificent/ hideous and in that, becoming my own dictator that would create my experience toward everything/ everyone according to How I have judged others/ everything ‘outside of myself,’ instead of realizing that I am able to stand one and equal toward everything/ everyone by stopping all judgments and focusing on the physical reality that I am participating in the moment.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself with the image I see of myself in the mirror, which is only a reflection at a mind level of who I really am

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the image that I see on the mirror believing that an image is all that I exist as, when in fact this is what I have accepted and allowed everyone and everything else to be diminished to within my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to identify myself as a set of preferences according to the pictures I see in reality, diminishing my beingness here in the moment of breath to become a single definition of what I have accepted and allowed myself to become, now that I see and realize that everything that I have always perceived/ judged and defined ‘others/everything’ outside of myself has only been me defining myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see that my believed ability to see another being’s nature by looking at them in one glance was only me looking at myself as my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that by me ‘judging people first’ before ‘them,’ I would take a certain advantage toward others wherein ‘I’ could be ahead of them/ superior to them/ faster than them in being able to judge myself – within this I forgive myself that I always accepted and allowed myself to believe me to be faster/ more ‘aware’ of people and the environment wherein I would be immediately assessing ‘who I would be’ according to how I had judged the person, the place, the environment, the situation in order for me to achieve the expected outcome, wherein ‘I’ could always win and get things done the way that I wanted.

 

I realize that I have only been always looking back at me, which implies that for me to be able to stand one and equal as my mind, as everyone and everything else, I must stop existing as a constant judge within my mind, wherein I make sure that I become the point that stops all values, assessments, perceptions that create further separation from myself being able to exist here as the constancy and consistency of the physical which doesn’t require to be judged in order to exist.

 

I commit myself to continue stopping any automated judgments onto people in order to be able to walk here in the world wherein no judgment as thought, energetic experience toward anything/ anyone is created which would indicate that I simply shifted into my mind to ‘think’ about reality/ the situation instead of simply living it.

 

I commit myself to stop believing that I have any special ability to assess people and ‘know them’ without even talking to them, just by face value, which I deemed as a ‘positive trait’ within me, without realizing that such characteristic is as flimsy as any other belief that I know and realize are not real, and that I have only been the creator of myself as this secret judge at all times, wherein I believe that ‘how I see people,’ is ‘who the are,’ in that in fact only becoming someone that fears being judged because of  me having existed as this constant judge myself toward me and everyone, now realizing that it’s always been me.

 

I commit myself to take back to self any judgment that I do see emerges in the moment to get to see how I created it and  practically walk it through writing, applying self-forgiveness for accepting and allowing such point of separation to exist within me and walk the necessary correction according to the realization that in order for me to stand here as one and equal, no point of judgment as separation can exist, for I don’t require to judge to breathe.

 

Share with us at the Desteni Forum and walk the process of ‘Man know thyself’ to eventually stop existing as knowledge and become the living word.

 

 

Interviews:

• Atlanteans – How we became the Mind’s Foundation – Part 31

• Life Review – My Life of Losing Relationships

 

Blogs:

• Is the Mind MATTER? – Part One: DAY 26

• Day 26: Grey Matter Invasion – EARTH OCCUPIED

VLog:

• 2012: 7 Year Process – Stopping Judgements – YouTube

 

Check out Joao Jesus’ song: Who am I? and smooth your life for a moment.

Jingle-bell solutions are Not ‘Best for ALL’

There’s a very basic point to understand when walking around the Desteni material and everyone’s vlogs and blogs – if you care about life in this world, about the environment, animals, humanity in all its aspects, you’ll resonate with what’s being said and eventually stand up in Equality with us.

Anyone that’s not willing to See the common sense of presenting ‘what is best for all’ is already indicating that they will not give up their individuality and ‘free choice’ which is eventually not giving a fuck about the rest of the world, life, animals or anything around them but satisfying their own guts. What’s best for all is not debatable, it cannot be denied when having this entire world as the direct result of all of us abdicating our self responsibility on this world and only ‘following our greatest excitement.’

Denigrating the truth as the reality of what is here is a self-protective mechanism to preserve ones preferences and apparent free-choices in place, as well as knowledge that is usually given too much value to form oneself as an opinionated person with a certain view on life – any ‘view’ that deviates from what’s best for all is a threat to anyone in this world – as simple as that. May seem totalitarian but that’s how reality is and anything that doesn’t correlate or represent facts but only knowledge that preserves separation will still hold any point of ego in place.

When we say: see for yourself, read the material – it’s about that process of self discovery that I completely agree with as this is how all of us came around Desteni. I spent months reading the forum, watching the videos before I participated fully in it – why/how? because I cared, because I saw how understanding the basics would allow me to have proper ability to discuss what was already clear and known to others there. That was my initial equalizing homework – I saw how effective this was hence I promote it as the way to go when getting to Desteni and/or Equal Money System. Along the way you participate and through that, get supported to understand and clarify all aspects for yourself through your own application.

 

I cannot understand how anyone that is apparently also interested in a solution would be disregarding the presentation and proposal of a system that will be best for all out of nowhere almost in an immediate manner, while remaining in an almost faithful-conviction to other projects and ‘solutions’ that are certainly not taking the whole into consideration.

We do our homework and investigate other solutions, yet the same point is often missed: equality as the life principle that’s best for ALL – no one is considering that the ‘unthinkable’ can actually be done such as reforming the entire monetary system for example and with that, revolutionizing the way every living being exists in this world, to finally get to live.

Examples are when getting to know of Zeitgeist –  from the movie time even before the ‘movement’ – we realized how it was cool information on economy, religions, the world, secret societies etc. as a general debunker of that which was still ‘hidden’ for the majority. Then the movement came without any actual practical solutions other than ditching the current monetary system in its totality and kind of dwelling upon the same territory that OWS (Occupy Movement) is at the moment.

When we investigated the Venus project we saw how the technological aspect of it could be used as well as any other cool innovations for the use of energy, but also realized they weren’t considering ‘what’s best for all’ in any way nor creating any reform to support the actual beingness of the human to become a real considerate individual of what’s best for al. We couldn’t find direct inclusion of those that are currently living in dire conditions within such solution. How could we get to exist in such paradise cities if there are people in this world that don’t even have potable water, food or a house to live in? That should say it all in terms of it being a partial solution that’s not really including everyone in this world.

 

Placing a cross to anything ‘money’ without seeing the equal next to it is indicating that they have to step out of their own prejudices and get to actually reading/ watching/ investigating the material if they are really interested in becoming part of the solution. Again, we’re not here to convince anyone – those who care of fellow beings will listen and understand it – if not right away- will take the time to read, watch, study = dare to care.

 

What happens is people are attracted to the jingle-bell solution of these nice cutting-edge sketches that Fresco envisions without having a look at the actual considerations such project would entail and how it simply won’t work as it’s not based on an overall living-change, but only creating solutions to keep/ maintain the same lifestyle of the human being. By Lifestyle I mean  the inner-experience of the being which is not taken into consideration and is the actual cause of the world being in the condition it is now – the problem is the human beings. So when self responsibility is placed on the plate, it doesn’t look so tasty or something I would ‘enjoy’ doing – it’s not a matter of enjoying it initially, it’s about common sense and directing oneself to live by a principle that’s never been lived in this world. One can only get the gist of it when getting to see how self support works along the walk once one starts living as the principles at hand. I can tell more about it, but it can only be my story, my experience and that is what I’m here to encourage every one to see for themselves once again.

 

None of the current crisis and problems would exist if the human didn’t exist. But because we do, the least thing we can do is create a complete change in the way we live in, to stop desiring to live in opulent make-believe realities and start re-aligning with the actual cycles of the biosphere we live in, this is taking life into consideration. Then money can be equalized as we will not be trading fake mental values – yes as redundant as that may seem – but will simply focus on creating sustainable and effective living environments for all involved: animals, plants, environment and the human being. We can only continue existing as Earthlings, there is no other way – the human greedy being must become Self Honest which is taking into consideration the whole before any other attempt to ‘evolve’  – which is not really existent at this stage.

Because such regard is mostly non-existent in human being, we must create it and this is what Desteni and Equal Money are all about: creating a world that’s best for all in Equality because it has never existed before.

 

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