460. American Pastoral: My Reflection

I recently watched the movie ‘American Pastoral’ and I can say it became a very interesting reflection to myself and my past in the role of a teenage daughter within a family. In fact, I wanted to catch this movie in the theatres because I watched the trailer and saw the plot related to a ‘typical American family’ that sees the only child  – female – involved in extremist political groups that started shaping her character to a point of becoming a terrorist.

There were moments of her ‘early stages’ of rebellion at home that reminded me so much of myself, like how this girl is screaming at the television news and calling them ‘fuckers’ and just becoming insta-angry at what’s being said on TV. Yep, been there, done that many times, creating a constant battle with the point of ‘having the TV on’ and the news themselves, getting pissed and worried about everything that was happening, blaming the corporations, the politicians the ‘unaware people’ etc. – as I’ve written many times in these blogs already.

But this is not the only point, in the whole history I was able to see the extremes of what happens when there’s a child within a family where the parents are the epitome of ‘perfection’ as in ‘model individuals’ according to the usual social standards – the father being the popular American football player in school that becomes successful in his business/life, marrying a lady that had been a beauty queen and essentially having all the ingredients to be the ‘perfect family.’ Yet, their child from a very early age starts to react to that, desiring the opposite of what her parents consider to be a mark of success and tradition. She starts doing the opposite like affiliating herself with ‘political groups’ that want to essentially disrupt any sense of ‘American Dream’ or ‘normalcy’ at that time – 1960’s, 1970’s in America – starts talking about being anti war, anti capitalism and being constantly pissed off at the world, at the system and at her parents for being ‘so perfect.’

I could relate to that so much based on how I was back then. I didn’t take it that far into becoming an extremist, but I very well know I could have gone into some sort of extremes to antagonize – and that’s the keyword here – whatever is considered as ‘normal’ or ‘mainstream’ or ‘moral’ to any society. My way of challenging this was through the way I behaved, talked, dressed, my preferences, my relationship preferences, the ways in which I had ‘fun’ all of what I built as myself was precisely a way to ‘unconsciously’ rebel and set myself aside from the rest of my family, a way to make myself the ‘black sheep’ and ‘show them’ that I wasn’t going to be like them, which means I was existing in judgment of them, their ways/behaviors, preferences, traditions and the rest of ‘who they are’ in an attempt to ‘change them,’ to ‘make others care’, to ‘have them open their eyes!’– wrong way of course! But I thought that was the way back then.

Here, I know that many might have gone through something similar to this in their teenage years, which is kind of common at some point in everyone’s life, though here the key is looking at creating a healthy balance between awareness and ignorance, between considering ‘the world out there’ and one’s own life and doings.  Therefore I share this so as to not follow through the ways of the people in the movie where they start reprimanding and preventing the girl from having contact with others, only causing the inevitability of her running away from home – but instead, be able to understand that phase of ‘awakening’ of sorts that many teenagers might go through and so, making it that phase where parents can be understanding and considerate of that phase, not jumping into antagonizing it or fearing it or attempting to curb it with ‘locking them up’ either – in a school or their room or ‘away from home’, but creating a space of comprehension of what this desire to ‘show the bad and the ugly’ of the world and being interested in acknowledging it in fact means, which is also why as parents one would have to first and foremost have already gone through that phase of also developing some introspection to be willing to face and see all those things that we usually hide away from in the idea of ‘ignorance is bliss’.

 

 

In the movie the daughter becomes that embodiment of ‘becoming aware of all the things that the parents were oblivious of’ or simply not caring much about – yet she took it to an extreme in order to make a statement, in order to ‘rebel’ against the status-quo. Yet she would eventually find out that becoming an ‘extremist’ is not the way forward and it gets to a situation where it compromises her own health and stability for the sake of ‘caring for the world or others’ and turning it into a religion, which is what happened to her.

But without going into the movie itself so much, bringing it back to myself I could see how I could have gone into certain extremes in my life in some similar ways as Merry in the movie, and I am so thankful that I found the Desteni message relatively early on in my life to prevent myself from going further down the rabbit hole and till this day, still walk my process of ‘stopping antagonizing’ the world, stopping my anger and sadness in relation to all things that we usually go blissfully unaware of, realizing that becoming emotional and a ‘fighter’ myself against everyone is not the way, will not show to people an answer but only will endorse fighting and blaming endlessly, which is pointless, absolutely pointless to the objective of learning self-responsibility and actually doing something about it to stand as that solution we usually only get ‘pissed’ about others not doing so for themselves or ‘the world.’

Here then I can stand as proof that no matter how much one gets angry/pissed at ‘the world’ or attempts to do certain extreme ways to ‘get people’s attention’ it one won’t actually change anything, it won’t get a message through either, one won’t actually in fact contribute to anything but only enhance the usual ‘war mentality’ when we go ‘fighting against everything that we define is wrong!’ and becoming of a belligerent nature that is ‘non-stopping’ for all the wrong reasons. I can see myself in that diligence and belligerence that Merry – the daughter – had in so many ways, but I’ve learned to redirect that diligence to my own self-support, to supporting others to learn how to also stand and live by principles that we can absolutely then prove to ourselves and show to ourselves what it means to ‘be the solution’ in this world, instead of going fighting and blaming and even inflicting damage upon others in order to ‘make a statement.’

It’s really silly how the protesting nature exists in us which has its origins in our tantrums as children and making it a point to ‘possess’ ourselves with anger and create a whole drama to get what we want – well at least that’s what happened in my case and even if I didn’t get what I wanted, I developed a relationship to anger from a very early age and later on suppressed it in so many ways, only to later on have to re-open it through this process of knowing myself, taking responsibility for my mind, my body, my everyday living and this thus becoming a point that I have been walking for some years now in order to Stop the fight within myself and ‘towards others in the world’ – but instead understand my reactions, decide to stop them in the realization that: my anger, my rage won’t do anything in this world of substantial change, it doesn’t nurture anything, it only feeds the war mentality.

So I instead self-forgive these emotional experiences as the ‘habitual me’ I had become, and direct myself to focus on my own self-creation which practically means going changing, aligning, redirecting every bit of myself that may want to ‘slip through the cracks’ into the old patterns of ‘blame’ and ‘anger’, then I make it a point to rather change that which I judge ‘outside’ in the inside of myself, learning to live words that are supportive and dedicating my life to do this with myself and those that I come to interact and support on a daily basis.

This then prevents any ‘extremist’ behavior, this then prevents ‘terrorists’ as well, this then prevents sects, cults and religious extremism where people get so diligent and belligerent with a set of beliefs that they are willing to ‘walk over others’ – harm, abuse, discriminate, hate – in order to ‘make a point’ that stands in a morality point of what’s good or bad, missing out the equality equation: what’s best for all, what’s the common sense solution, what’s our common/one and equal responsibility for what exists in this world, what’s humbleness in considering others?

And these set of principles and questions above has assisted me a lot whenever my ‘belligerent and extremist mindset’ wants to pop out, fueled with some righteousness which usually becomes a way to justify our anger or hatred, which is once again only self-interest, only believing it will ‘make a point’ but it doesn’t, it only alienates people, it only makes us walking ‘angry fits’ that show no solution at all.

Instead  I’ve found and proven that actually developing humbleness, consideration, embracing others as myself is a much more self-challenging process because then I don’t pose myself as ‘superior’ and ‘more aware’ than others believing ‘I know what’s right and wrong’ –  but instead have to challenge myself to find ways to talk to any person, about any topic, understand ‘where they are’ in their life/process of awareness and recognize that the best way to assist anything or anyone in this world, is by first focusing on changing me, stopping my belligerent nature and instead becoming an embracing one, one that understands what ‘living as equals’ in fact means, and this is then the process here which has actually supportive results that emerge as ripples here and there, without me even having to ‘push’ for it, because we simply become the ‘living words,’ we just are being the living examples and that’s as far as we can go when it comes to ‘changing the world’ really, doing so with one’s words, thoughts and deeds in every  moment that we are alive… but wanting to change ‘others’ and ‘fighting them’ is definitely not the way at all.

So, I suggest checking out this movie also for parents because the relationship between them and toward the child is quite an interesting one, if anything one that can leave aspects to learn how to prevent to the extremes in the story, and rather focusing on channeling/redirecting a teenager’s ‘awakening’ into one of self-creation and self-support  

Enjoy 🙂

 

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:

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• 7 Year Journey To Life Process : People Sharing their Processes of Self-Forgiveness and Self-Correction

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Day 42: Toxic Fun–Drugs as Enslavement

Who are we when we allow the intoxication of another being that you can call a friend/ partner/ lover in the name of ‘Fun’? It’s taken a punch to my ego to write a ‘we’ when I have declared myself as an official drug/ alcohol detractor – yet, I’ve been there myself and even had special affinity toward self-destructive people, which implies that whenever I accepted the consumption of drugs/ alcohol in the name of ‘fun’ = I accepted an allowed the man-infestation of the abuse of drugs and alcohol consumption in the world as way to ‘have a good time. ‘

 

Who are we when we support the use of drugs/ alcohol as a way to ‘free ourselves’? Isn’t that the same as inducing another to take some rat poison while pretending that you can just throw your hands in the air and wave them like you just don’t care?

 

My mind wants to run rampant in rage when seeing the effects that such stupefaction generates in a human being – however, here I have placed myself as the point that stops judgment and any other reaction, walking the Self Forgiveness as well [*]. And how I was able to stop the immediate surge of backchat was through saying out loud ‘I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge another for seeing the obvious effects that alcohol/ drugs had upon them while in fact that person as this very moment could have been me’  – and so, the tendency to judge from this ‘superiority’ idea of self was deflated and brought back to the ground, hearing about Patience today also supported me a lot to slow myself down.

 

Thus, now that I have walked the road to hell and back, meaning having walked the process of self forgiveness on these subjects and practically Stopping all forms of substance abuse as an integral part of my commitment to life – I can say that allowing the continuation of such self-abuse between so-called ‘friends’ and partners/lovers is just the most obvious act of actual spite and self-loathing that you can ‘gift’ yourself and another with – that’s how any relationship that wherein alcohol and drugs are promoted as a way to ‘feel good’ and ‘have a good time,’  ‘relax and just chill’  is equal to allowing any form of Self Abuse such as rape, murder, violence and any other form of psychological and physical abuse,  no matter how it is ‘covered up’ and ‘masked’ within this reality.

 

It should be fairly obvious how alcohol is promoted and accepted in our society in such a ‘broad spectrum’ so to speak: it keeps slaves happy and sufficiently droned down to be able to never question how this reality works and only care about dumbing people down to be willing to accept the most ludicrous social policies as long as the so-called ‘free choice’ and ‘free will’ are a means to be able to get drunk, get high, get fucked and repeat the next week on a regular /religious basis.

 

Unacceptable, even more so when the physical body is absolutely neglected, not really imagining what the cells of the body are having to go through once they are drenched in alcohol and any other chemical-poisoning in the name of earning an ‘Experience’ – the use of drugs indicate to what extent we have separated ourselves from our physical bodies and believe that it is only ‘here’ to hold as a chemical reactor of experiences that we dare to call happiness, enjoyment, fun, satisfaction and even going as far as ‘getting in touch with yourself’ when it comes to psychotropic drugs.

 

How low have we gone within this reality in the name of drugs? Extremely low hence, here’s some Self Forgiveness to give ourselves an opportunity to review what we have done onto ourselves in the name of our own energy-god experience that alcohol, drugs and sex abuse creates.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take a hierarchical standing within ‘superiority’ for being ‘over any drug/ alcohol/ substance’ abuse – including sugar – while realizing that this process is not only about ‘me bettering myself,’ but expanding the realization of who we have become as life-consuming beings in the name of an experience, such as getting drunk/high which is numbing our senses in the name of what we have accepted and allowed to call ‘fun’ and ‘entertainment.’ I realize that this world won’t be ‘done with drugs’ until every human is able to realize the actual detrimental effects that such drugs/substance abuse creates at a physical and mind level.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the use of alcohol as a way to ‘have fun’ that is socially acceptable simply because it is sold in your corner shop, which I have then equated to ‘it is safe to do it – otherwise, why would ‘my government’ want to poison me?’ without realizing that in a world where money moves the threads of every single being and manifestation in the name of power/ control over reality, we cannot possibly assume that everything that we buy/ consume is ‘safe’ and ‘not harmful’ while such assumption is deliberately wanting to neglect and ignore the facts about human decay that are stemming from alcohol abuse, which means that everything that I have ever deemed as ‘safe’ because ‘it’s sold in stores’ I have accepted and allowed simply because of faith and trust upon others while neglecting FACTS and actual Consequences of such substances in reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to equate ‘having a good time’ to taking some form of drug, drink alcohol or take any other chill pill to ‘feel just fine,’ without ever considering the irreparable damage that I am inflicting upon my body whenever I consume any substance that I abuse in the name of personal satisfaction as an euphoric experience of which I am completely oblivious as to what are the actual consequences as harm that I am inflicting myself with when using and abusing substances. I realize that I have made things ‘0kay’ in my reality because they are ‘socially acceptable,’ and ‘everyone does it,’ which makes me ponder what else have I accepted in the name of it being ‘socially acceptable’ and it making me a deliberate sheep and follower of a system of enslavement and abuse, such as the capitalistic system wherein I actually pay for my own slow death the moment that I pay for drugs to ‘have fun’ for some time, while having long lasting effects at a physical level out of a moment of self-indulgence.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ask forgiveness to my body, to every single cell that I neglected the moment that I only sought to ‘have fun’ and inducing chemicals into it that had detrimental effects in an immediate moment, which is how we can numb ourselves from the actual physical experience that we put ourselves as our physical body through the moment that we aim to ‘live’ through Experiences – without realizing that Energy as Experiences is Not Living, but actually abusing the physical in the name of personal interest as instant gratification.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this entire system of drug consumption which includes entertainment, information, media, advertisement, religions, spirituality as a constant seeking for ‘bettering’ myself either through deluding myself with drugs, knowledge, information, self-talk or positive thinking which are all self-induced forms of abuse in the name of personal satisfaction while neglecting the reality that we are all living in, wherein any form of experience is at the expense of the very use/ abuse of life substance as who we really are, which causes a massive delegation of our physical-breath power to the diminishing of ourselves to a single ‘positive experience’ such as the one that we get to have when drinking alcohol, taking drugs, praying, praising some deity, doing charity, meditating, talking to god/ self as the mind and seeking to mimic the lives of the rich and famous that seem to have a never-ending life of eternal satisfaction, without realizing that such lives are essentially propagated and sponsored by the elites to promote a way of living that is associating life with consumption/ abuse of substances, as this has proven to be the best weapon to keep the masses silenced and obeying.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately induce self-harm toward myself and others in the name of ‘fun’ and ‘partying’ through the use and abuse of substances like alcohol, drugs and any other ‘legal pharma-suit-to-kill’ that can give me a temporary high and experience of ‘feeling great’ for a moment, while neglecting the very breaths that I am squandering and essentially eating up in the name of personal satisfaction such as ‘getting high’ and ‘having fun’ as a ‘cool mix’ that has been accepted within society as nowadays’ way to ‘have a good time,’ which makes it obvious how abuse is inherent to anything that we have dubbed as ‘good time/ positive/ enjoyment’ through the use and abuse of external points such as drugs and people alike.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to label self-abuse as ‘free choice’ and ‘free will,’ which is the standard used by individuals to justify their ability to consume drugs and even ‘spite the system’ through consuming illegal drugs within the belief that such action will – in any way – ‘liberate them’ from the so-called ‘oppression’ in reality, while in fact the only thing that is being perpetuated is the constant opposition and conflict toward a world that is self-created = we are all responsible for everything that we could deem as limiting and subjugating to a ‘hierarchical power,’ which is only us subjugating ourselves to a monetary system that is does Not care about life and supporting a dignified living for all, but deliberately promotes self abuse as a way to maintain ourselves limited and caged within a very narrow spectrum of reality – which reveals that we have been the only ones that have accepted a ‘lifestyle of abuse’ as something that is cool and socially acceptable, while neglecting the harm that is being inflicted at a physical level and toward other beings when ‘making it acceptable’ to consume alcohol/ drugs within society.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to apparently ‘spite the system’ such as family, society, government/ laws by consuming ‘illegal drugs’ without realizing that if they were really a threat to promote an actual emancipation of beings, they would have been eradicated from society and any form of market – yet because they represent the greatest weapon of control and temporary fear-reliever, they are accepted as an apparent surreptitious market and industry – yet having great weight upon global economy as drugs represent one of the greatest markets with the most profit that goes un-checked and unnoticed – apparently – due to the extensive amounts of money that are involved within such so-called ‘criminal activities’ – which once again proves the reverse psychology within beings wherein: everything that is deemed to be ‘wrong’ and ‘bad’ and ‘opposing the law,’ will be embraced and promoted as a ‘self-liberating’ way to ‘be free’ and ‘be joyful’ – while neglecting that this represents falling in the very trap carefully built to enroll people within chemical addictions that become a promoter for passivity and acceptance of this reality ‘as is,’ which is no different to how spirituality promotes ‘surrendering to the here now moment’ and neglecting any form of self-responsibility toward the individual within society and the individual’s life itself, beginning with considering HOW am I harming my physical body with consuming substances that are obviously detrimental to my physical body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘oppose the system’ and be an ‘activist’ while using alcohol, drugs and any other illegal abuse of substances as a way to reinforce my so-called antagonism toward society/ the system, which reveals that I am a perfectly mind-controlled drone that is willing to create resistance toward a system that requires such conflict to continue thriving in the same stagnant position of continual disregard toward life – without ever questioning how it is that opposition and protesting against the system has never ever had an actual effect on this world as a living-change that affects every single being in reality, which proves that I as an ‘activist’ and ‘system basher’ was only seeking my personal satisfaction and gratification to be able to deem myself to be ‘free’ while neglecting that it was through the very use and abuse of substances that I was already making a statement of: ‘I don’t really care about anyone else but me and my fun’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a religious drinker/binger in the name of personal satisfaction as a way to proclaim that ‘I am a free being! I have free will! I have free choice! I can do whatever the fuck I want!’ While obviously neglecting every bit of life that I abused in the name of such desire and need to create an Experience of ‘power’ as the ‘moreness’ of myself through deifying energy as ‘who I am’ as such fleeting moments and experiences, while defying the physical living substance that I use and simply consume as a fuel to my own personal delusions, which is absolutely unacceptable.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to promote drug consumption as a way to ‘get in touch with yourself’ which was actually only promoting ‘get drunk, get high and forget about your living reality that you breathe in’ – which is in itself proving that I have become nothing else but a single self-seeking individual that is willing to do ‘anything’ for a moment of ‘peace’ and ‘happiness’ and ‘love’ which have all proven to be the very keys to the enslavement of this reality, creating and supporting the existence of a passive and ignorant human being toward all-aspects of reality that are outside of the self-obsessed culture that we have become in reality.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to link the use of drugs and alcohol to sex and call it ‘sexy’ which means that I have been sufficiently brainwashed through media, books and everything that indicates that I am willing to accept self abuse in the name of personal satisfaction as the fleeting moment that becomes sex when stemming from mind-stimulation which in no way constitutes an actual physical Real expression of reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that through consuming drugs, alcohol and any other substance it is possible to ‘escape from myself,’ without realizing that it is actually within facing myself and supporting me to walk my own mind as fears and desires to ‘be free,’ that I can in-fact free myself from my own mind-limitation that is the only one that seeks such type of entertainment and ‘satisfaction’ in the name of a temporary band-aid to the existential doom that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish who I am to a single fleeting moment wherein I lose all integrity as a human being while allowing me to become obsessed and possessed with the chemical influences that a single substance can create in the entirety of my human body, which reveals that I have in fact never considered the very life that allows me to continue breathing in this world and that I have only become my own enemy while having to seek ‘outlets’ as ‘diversion’ in order to ‘have fun’ and ‘enjoyment’ in separation of myself, which means that I have accepted and allowed myself to become nothing else but a mind-drone that seeks an experience at all times, while neglecting the fact that who we really are is here as breath as ourselves, in every moment that we allow the mind to be quiet yet remain self directive in our living-reality, which is absolutely possible if we walk a process to do so.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that fear is now so automated as a system, that no one can remember what started it and no one cares – because a good scare gives a physical response, a physical high, so as to get Drugs for Free – just by producing your own Fear is Heaven on Earth.

I commit myself to show that the body is always in agony due to the Mind feeding on it in various response patterns, forcing the body to produce chemicals in many ways to keep the experience of the Mind Bubble to NOT see reality – producing, just like with the use of drugs, a dreamlike state – while calling the dream of the mind real, and calling the physical that is real, a dream.

I commit myself to show that Breathing Here without using the MIND, being physical – will show how fear is a MIND JOB based on a physical addiction to the body response to the fear.” Bernard Poolman [+]

 

Thus, I commit myself to continue exposing the truth of what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become as energetic vampires that seek an experience out of virtually anything in this reality, in the name of personal satisfaction and a fleeting moment of so-called fun and enjoyment that is in no-way in relation to the physical reality that is here, tangible, breathable and doesn’t require a specific ‘state of being’ to exist.

 

I commit myself to reveal how one is able to live and exist here as a physical being without having to constantly be seeking ways to ‘feel better’ and ‘have fun’ through using/ consuming substances, alcohol, drugs or create a deliberate experience in order to satisfy ‘the senses’ which is no different to believing that who we are is eternal bliss and fueling positive thinking to create such perpetual state of actual self abuse that neglects the physical reality that is burnt as fuel in order to keep such self-created mechanisms going.

 

I commit myself to expose and reveal the ability to live without seeking for the next greatest excitement and having to be constantly living up for a future moment of ‘enjoyment’ through the use and consumption of substances, and instead show how the acceptance of self as breath here is the solution to all the problems/ desires/ experiences that would have gotten anyone to consume alcohol/ drugs, as all desires, wants and needs are created at a mind level which I am able to stand one and equal to.

 

I commit myself to promote a system – the Equal Money System – that supports all life in Equality, that supports actual living self-expression wherein no drugs, no alcohol will have to be produced as there will be no need to seek for an alternate experience other than the ability to live as heaven on earth for the very first time in our existence, as I realize that all drugs have been an attempt to mimic and false-represent a true well being that we are actually able to work for as a collective, as humanity in order to establish a Living Reality that doesn’t consume life, but supports Life as Life itself.

 

“I commit myself to show that the Human Race is yet to Wake Up and that all Mind Jobs of Self-Realization are just ways used to find a better chemical producer by the Flesh on which to continue the High of the Addiction called Personality/Individuality. It is like the Robbing of the physical flesh of its resources, as constant raping of Life, just to have Feeling – like being on Drugs.

I commit myself to show that these Addictions to substances is all the Human has ever been – and that at the moment, few will have the resolve to Break the Addictions. Fortunately, Death ends this – but, what is visited upon the children, generation after generation, is atrocities of magnitudes yet to be Realized.” – Bernard Poolman [+]

 

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Blog on subject:

• All-Co-Hole-ism till 5 AM from Today

• It’s Fried-day Night, Mr. Self Destruct

• Addictions in the Equal Money System « Equal Money for ALL as LIFE

 

Self Support for myself when dealing with ‘getting angry’ at people in such cases:

• 
  

  [*]Getting angry when directing others « MarlenLife’s Blog

• Physical Self-Forgiveness
  

  • 2012 Physical Incorporated

  Interviews:

• Life Review – A Drug-Addict as Mind-Prophet Here a being shares his life-experience of becoming addicted to drugs, and the reality/life he created for himself in his mind through the drugs – only to realise at death that none of it was real; and within that – all the realizations / insights he came to during his Life Review

• Tunnel-Vision Consequence of Energy and Money Why won’t individual human beings be able to change ourselves and this world as long as we are internally and externally possessed by and obsessed with Energy within and Money without?

Vlogs:

• 2011 Why is Society based on Alcohol?

• 2010 I Use Alcohol on a Regular Basis

• 2010 Stop Weed or Die

 

Blogs: Highly recommended to understand HOW and WHY our thoughts are manifesting our reality:

• [+]Day 42: Fear – Be AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID

• Day 41: Spiritual Poverty of Love and Light     –

• Temptation is Not Damnation?: DAY 41    –

• Day 7: Redefining Words (Part 4)- Redefining words as living words     –

Facebook Group for Self Support in Stopping Addictions:

• Stop a Habit for 21 days – Experiment

And a great reality check:

• Conversation with the Mind as God    – Maya H

•  

Day 40: The You-Diss-All System in Me

Who am I within communicating toward others? What are the immediate judgments that I create according to me reducing something/ someone to only being a picture presentation as a personality within my own mind?  What am I really allowing within myself when ‘making up my mind’ about something/ someone as to ‘who I must be’ toward them in relation to the idea that I create of others when viewing them/everything through the eyes of the mind only? What is this ‘preferential rate’ indicating about me?  This is walking through ‘who I am’ as the judge in my mind that manifests the current you-diss-all system as the judiciary that is able to contemplate whether a law applies or not according to a set of preferences/circumstances using the mind as the generator of all ‘proofs’ that are perfectly corruptible and malleable according to creating the necessary justifications/ excuses as knowledge and information that is able to suit one’s own interests in the name of power and vainglory.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an automated judge within communicating with others, wherein I stand as the ‘ultimate say’ of ‘Who I am’ toward others in a moment according to how ‘I make up my mind about them’ and in that, mimicking the same way that the judicial system interprets and applies the laws according to convenience, circumstance and context wherein the principle is corruptible to suit one’s own benefit and not really considering what’s best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a principle of/as Equality in place ‘in words’ just like we have our constitutions wherein ‘equal justice under law’ is ‘ensured’/ guaranteed on paper, as a statement, but when it comes to actually applying and living that statement, the leeway and backdoor of ‘interpretation’ according to my own benefit/ my own interests can be used as an excuse as to why I am not applying myself equally with all beings in my reality, which implies that I am not living yet as principle within communicating, interacting and living among others as I am still existing as the ‘judge’ in the secret mind that is able to decide another being’s ‘place’ within my own mind, and deciding ‘who I am’ toward them according to that judgments, which is only me-assessing-others wherein there is absolutely no physical relationship to what I ‘think’ of another, but I am only using knowledge and information to ‘make up my mind’ about ‘them’ and accordingly, ‘apply my law’ with its ‘amends’ so that I can still suit my preferences and dislikes toward beings/ events/ situations and not standing absolutely as one and equal as myself/ others in the moment of communicating an interacting based on physical living reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ‘interpretation’ as a way to suit what is being said/ conveyed in order to suit ‘my needs’ and justify  them with further knowledge and information that I have accepted and allowed myself to become and identify myself as.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be my own secret-mind court wherein I ‘make up my mind’ about a being in a matter of minutes according to ‘who I believe them to be’ as a set of characteristics based on  images, words, picture presentation, beliefs, mannerisms, way of expressing, voice tonality, clothes, race, gender, age and in that, reduce another being to being simply just another category that I can store in my mind as the definition of ‘who that person is’ as a reminder of ‘who I am toward them’ based on my own preferences – when in fact, it was all created/ assessed and assigned a value to within my own mind – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having ever believed that I was always ‘right’ about the assessment I could make of others wherein I completely supported and kept them ‘locked-in’ the same set of personality that they have believed themselves to be, and in that I become an accomplice  of another’s limitation of only being ‘a character’/ a personality/ a set of values, preferences, culture, gender, race, age, beliefs, ideology wherein I then become the judge in the secret mind that either praises and accepts or disses and rejects – within this  I become equal and one with the polarity-basis of a binary system that works according to positive and negative values, while dissing/ neglecting life of equality and oneness and relegate it to a non-existent and non-considered aspect within laws and regulations, wherein a principle is absolutely overlooked and deliberately ‘missed’  in the name of acceptance and rejection of another within my own mind as a positive-experience/  negative experience that I generate toward another in my mind – or as a neutral experience wherein I perceive that ‘I’m fine’ around those beings but in fact, it is still generating an experience toward them wherein a point of reference as to ‘who I am’ toward them is created in my mind as ‘being neutral with them’ and not simply being here as the impartiality of my application toward all beings in equality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a judge that either rules for yes/ no as the acceptance/ rejection of beings according to ‘how’ I want to apply a principle that stipulates Equality – which in itself implies the acceptance and allowance of corruption/ breaking our rules in the name of suiting our personal interests – yet the moment that I manipulate such principle to suit ‘my-needs’ as my preferences as the mind that seeks validation, recognition and getting compliments, I then ‘accept’ and vote in favor of that which is for my own benefit – whereas when I manipulate such principle to suit my preferences of ‘disliking’ another, I corrupt myself as principle to give more value/ worth to a set of preferences instead of the living physical principle, that is at all times revealing that equality as physical beings is here and that any point of preference and ‘inclination’ toward another is based on the mind that I have become as the judge that seeks at all times, to vote in favor of that which is best for me, as my mind, as my personality, as my set of preferences and that which I will get some personal benefit from.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever judge the judicial system which seems tautological now that I write about it, due to how I have accepted and allowed myself to become the very judge that is able to rule in favor of that which sustains, maintains and perpetuates the ‘positive idea/ personality’ that I have of myself – and denies, neglects, hides and tries to run away from everything that I have deemed as the ‘negative and opposite’ that won’t support my very design, which is how my mind resists facing that which I judge/ deem as a ‘dislike,’ as the mind is constantly only seeking validation, perpetuation of the same values as the confirmation of the patterns that create an ideal of worth as personality, and according to this, having become a predictable personality that seeks similar personalities wherein I as the judge in my mind can decide what is ‘worthy’ and what is not, as I have become the very corruption of life in the name of personal preferences and suiting everything/ everyone according to my own mind’s preferential rate.

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to judge the judicial system as hypocrite, without realizing that I have been a hypocrite myself when it comes to proclaiming standing by a principle and still holding preferences as likes, dislikes, judgments and creating either affability as positive experience toward those that ‘suit my personality’ as preferences/ likes  and creating hostility and laconicism toward those that I seem to dislike – which are only values that I have create in my mind according to the knowledge and information that I have created and accepted as ‘who I am,’ wherein I have become my very own jail as the constrain toward the actual life that I am as a physical body that doesn’t hold preference toward anything or anyone.

 

I realize that within me having become my very own judge toward anything and anyone, I have never in fact established actual communication toward others, as I have always just been a mind that judges/ assesses my ‘interaction’ with others based on what is worthy/ what is not, what is positive/ what is negative – what is good/ what is bad – all based in polarity games of winning and losing as the ability to ‘make myself feel better’ about myself through my own judgments and avoiding everything/ everyone that would seem like a threat to my personal vainglory and ego fortification, as the building blocks of the illusion that I have become as my own pedestal that can corrupt a principle to do things ‘my way’ and suit my needs – in this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have self-righteousness override my ability to see in clarity how it is that I am becoming the very judgmental and discriminatory ruler as my own mind that is able to define ‘who’s worthy/ who’s not’  – who do I like/ who do I dislike based on personal preferences, which is nothing else than knowledge and information that I have subdued my entire expression to become, wherein I have built my own walls toward people that I deemed that I could not ‘communicate effectively with,’ which was only me as my mind not wanting to establish a point of communication with the idea that I had already created about another in my mind, wherein I give up any opportunity to get to know them better just because of deeming that ‘I’ve made up my mind about them’ and in that, becoming the very judge and perpetrator of the ongoing separation in this world that has led us to the current reality we’re all living in, wherein we seclude ourselves in social groupings where personality-enhancement is all that takes place and no actual equal and one interaction occurs, as all that is fed through relationships as friendships/ comradeship is having similar minds that feed each other’s ego in the name of survival as the very spite toward life, due to such ‘positive’ experience only being able to emerge if self-definitions as ‘who I am’ as my personality/energy exists – and energy is Not Life and is actually the abuse of life in the name of personal satisfaction.

 

I forgive myself that I have ever accepted and allowed myself to judge the judges that have ‘the ultimate say’ within any case wherein laws are revised for an apparent ‘proper application,’ without realizing that I have become the very judge that also revises my participation toward each individual not based on the equality as life principle, but based on the preferences that ‘I’ as a mind still holds and creates toward people, justifying it with all means possible to still make it acceptable as to why I care/ prefer/ incline myself toward some beings more than others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever believe that I could actually make up ‘who another is’ in my mind in a very short period of time, which was really only me becoming the instant judge that is able to assess another according to personality as the image, the presentation, the preferences and words that a being presents themselves as, which is the lie that we all either buy or not – and in that, remaining only as a viewer/ observer of another/ others according to ‘who they are’ within/ through the eye of the mind, wherein I continue diminishing another being’s expression to being only as a preprogrammed and limited version of ‘who they are,’ which is in fact only a façade as an energetic version of themselves as an ego that is in no way the being that is in fact ‘inside,’ which exists in equality and oneness as the physical hereness – yet we have separated ourselves from each other to such an extent that we have become used to interacting with each other as pictures, ideas, beliefs, judgments and perceptions of each other wherein Life is Not considered at all, wherein Life is relegated to a ‘taken-for-granted’ background that we believe is ‘separate’ from ourselves as some elusive concept, instead of sticking to the physicality that I am able to touch and see for myself exists here as an equal conglomerate of elements that constitute the cells, the tissue, the bones and all the systems inside that make our living-moment possible as each breath that we have taken for granted, that we have abused in every moment that we seek only our personal benefit as the continuation of ‘who I am’ as a personality that seeks to only ‘get along’ with those that I like/ have an inclination toward, as they ‘who they are’ within my mind represent the continuation of ‘who I am as my own mind’ – whereas all those that stand as the potential fracturing and end of who I am as my mind, I deem to dislike, oppose and evade according to what they in fact represent as a potential breakthrough my own personality/ preferences, to actually stand within an equal and one stance toward all beings, wherein no positive, no negative and no neutral experience is required in order to communicate in physicality with others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be ruled by beliefs, preferences and face-value judgments, which is no different to our current monetary system wherein we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be ruled and bound to an arbitrary value scheme, wherein Life is not even considered as an aspect of appraisal, but only considering the preferential rate that I apply as the way to ‘make the most of/ earn the most money’ from something/ someone that I diminish from life to being a single product, a single definition as mind-value that we have created and imposed onto Life in the name of personal power and vindication our own preferences and discrimination/ exclusivity of who we are toward others as energy-personalities, and not as the physical reality that is here, constant as the matter that is fueled by each breath that we take.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to corrupt the principle of Life in equality the moment that I create a single positive experience toward another based on my preferences as ‘who I am’ and what I deemed myself to be and have an inclination/ preference toward, as this indicates that I am not yet trust worthy as a living consistency of being able to be an actual impartial being within this reality that won’t be ‘wavered’ by a single point of preference as an inclination or rejection toward another being based on ‘who I was in the past’ as a set of preferences, characteristics that I would deem as ‘more than’ or ‘less than’ others, according to the frames of values that I have created within myself, as my personal jurisdiction toward everything and everyone in my reality, which allowed me to become the very self-righteous manipulator and dictator that is able to bend, mend, break and mold a principle according to personal preferences, which in essence constitutes the corruption of life in the name of personal gratification.

This will continue…

 

I commit myself to stop being the judge in my mind in every moment that I communicate with others in my reality and dare to stand in the equality and oneness of the moment wherein I make sure that my mind stands here as equal as the breath that I am taking in and out, wherein I recognize that the ground that holds me is equally holding another as myself, wherein I make sure that I stop any point of  judgment that comes up from the mind that I have programmed to automatically do so during that interaction/ conversation/ coexistence in any given moment. I take it back to self to use it as a point to reflect myself back to myself and see ‘who I am’ being in that moment toward another, which is Not really about ‘them,’ but about that which I am accepting and allowing myself to limit others as, within a single idea, belief, perception and interpretation of another as only knowledge and information as part of the database that I then take as ‘who they are’ and in that, missing out the entire relationship as the real-actions in relation to the physical that exists here in every moment that we equally breathe-in. 

 

I commit myself to live the realization that the moment that I diminish another to a single judgment, I am in fact not doing that ‘toward another’ but is only me diminishing me to a single idea, belief and perception that limits ‘who I am’ in its totality to a single experience that I project onto others – which is not life, but only knowledge and information that creates separation from who/what we really are in any given moment as physicality.

 

I commit myself to expose who I have become as my own judge in my judiciary system that molds and shapes its preferences as voting in favor/ against of something/ someone according to what I like and dislike as preferences that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish myself and others to, existing only as knowledge and information, and not as and of life in equality and oneness.

 

I commit myself to reveal to what extent we have externalized our very own secret mind as our judicial system of laws that we are all currently being governed by, and in this explaining how we have externalized constant judgment as an actual ruling system that neglects  life and ponders self-interest as that which is ‘ruled in favor of’ while masking it with the word ‘justice’/ just’ – wherein what is best for all is not actually being considered, but only considering how to perpetuate the same value-system that is currently keeping the world-system of money in place as our very own trap of knowledge and information wherein life is being ‘sucked dry’ and not honored, respected as who we really are as living beings.

Desteni

Desteni Forums

Equal Money System

 

 

Blogs exploring ‘who am I’ as justice, judgment and the mind’s judge

• And Justice for All

• ‘I’m always right’

• Hypocrisy

• It’s always only been me

• Captive in My Own Cage

• De-Capital-I-zing Me

• 2012 Physical Incorporated

• 2012 Stopping judgment–a walking process

• 2012 Self Acceptance –a very cool self-introspection about the process of separation, seeking validation/ acceptance – going into pseudo-acceptance as validating our preferences according to validating our ‘personality’ and into self-acceptance as life of oneness and equality, which is the entire process we are walking at Desteni 

 

Supportive Interviews from ‘The Soul of Money’ series:

• Seeing Reality through the Mirrors of Energy and Money

• The Mirrors of Competition for Survival of Energy and Money

• Reptilians – Giving up Knowledge for Life – Part 42

Blogs:

• Consciousness is Autopilot: DAY 39

• Day 39: Is Charity Greed?

• Day 5: Redefining Words (Part 2) – Playing polarity games

• Day 21: Stopping Friendships and Becoming a Friend to Life

Desteni and Equal Money–WTF?

This is a supportive read for anyone that may have second thoughts or still guessing what we’re all about.  It’s also meant to debunk some of the ubiquitous misinformation about us around the web. So here it is, coming from someone that has walked this process for almost 4 years and enjoying every single day that we walk together as this.

How can Desteni be linked to the Illuminati if we promote world Equality – which is the total opposite of what the so-called ‘elite’ stand for – how can a message of Self Honesty and Self Responsibility can be tweaked to then be something evil and detrimental to humanity? How is it that the current reality we live in which doesn’t make sense at all is still not even questioned by the majority?

What must exist in a human being to ignore common sense? To ignore the actual truth not as some fancy words but as the reality we live in which is able to be seen by everyone.

How could ‘shaving heads’ shock anyone more than having people using chemicals upon their heads to make their hair look in different colors? How can one or the other be any different as to any other style or modification – how come gathering around a table to eat and give each other products bought with overloaded credit cards isn’t viewed as cultish human behavior? How come praying to a god isn’t seen as potential delirium that may end up in absolute insanity? How is ‘believing in something greater’ that hasn’t ever shown up on Earth still held as something valuable in someone’s mind, while the world reveals that the current detrimental experience is the consequence of all human actions that haven’t been stopped, thus leading to an imminent destruction if not stopped and corrected right now.

How is talking to people from a dimensional existence talking through the portal, communicating absolute and irrefutable common sense seen as absolutely fantastic while we tend to hear and do what our own ‘voices in the head’ say which is often detrimental to ourselves and others and! No one else can see it/ them? How come that’s accepted and allowed as ‘who we are’ – how come we cannot expand our ability to conceive something beyond everything we’ve ever thought possible just because ‘it wasn’t taught in school’.

We’d like to have many people listening to the message of Equality as Life yes, loving thy neighbor as thyself not in the rosy type of way wherein you actually utter such words in some form of lightworking calamity, but actually work to create a world that’s best for all. Though it’s futile to have millions ‘following’ without grasping that such change won’t only come from voting for it, but it actually means vowing oneself to become a Self Responsible being, someone that cares for life, for each other, that cares to create a suitable environment for all involved in the same biosphere – that’s being one vote for world equality, less than that would only be following the herd of which the current political parties and churches are full of.

People seek to ‘believe in something’ or ‘someone’ to make a change for them = still delegating power. Some others do not want to ‘jump in the boat’ unless it’s got a well established foundation which in this current system translates to proper funds to ‘settle’ something, which proves that we are no illuminati or elite or any other super-power, otherwise we would already be making mind blowing movies and hiring artists to promote our solution.

We actually don’t have to convince anyone either. What we present is common sense and should be embraced as such, as part of Self-Realization and not just a nice-sounding proposal that may only bail us out of the current turmoil –No. Equal Money represents the way things should have always been but never was due to the inherent human nature that we’ve accepted as a ‘factor’ that determined the entire outcome and structure of the system we accepted and allowed and perceived as ‘unchangeable’, which is certainly Not in Equality and it’s NOT supporting any point of actual Self Realization.

We’re the average ‘Joes’ that have opened their eyes to common sense. We’ll require funds, a lot of funds to make this work and by publishing this as part of the realization of what it’ll take to change the world, we can see it is part of the points that have to be walked as a group. There is no hidden agenda as it’s simply realizing that everything moves in this world if there’s money in it and currently, we have to be in the system, work from within it to eventually create the solution so that all can step out of it equally.

We cannot use ‘world leaders’ for this as Equal Money may stand in their personal interests rooted in power and their pursue of greedy happiness.

The only point that we’re living right now as simile process to the one lived in the dimensions is linked to demons and how demons became the point of change in the dimensions. As above, so below and that’s how it should be done. We cannot magically make Equality be the living principle as it must be a self-realized ‘move’ so to speak, not only a program that is now implanted without any actual self realization of why we must walk through a process of self correction wherein we see and fully understand why Equality is the way to go in this world. Otherwise, we’d be prone to repeat this nonsense yet once again – we cannot afford doing this all over again.

The systems in this world run quite deep and are ingrained as the entirety of ourselves in all aspects, yet it is possible to stand as the point of change that we now see must be lived and conducted if we are up for creating a world that’s best for all. It would be deliberate spitefulness to not stand up for this solution once that we see the common sense in it, it would be like a double fuck up as it wouldn’t be coming from a point of being ignorant about the entire situation, but as something that is ‘already known’ yet not acted upon because of how ‘impossible’ it may seem like. In fact the way Equal Money is usually received is a cool indicator that we are on the right track as all revolutionary ideas are first ridiculed, then opposed only to be embraced at the end. So we’re in between the first two wherein more and more people are getting to expand the current narrow and limited ways of perceiving this reality wherein we can only create a change in the moment that we take on the challenge as ourselves. That way ‘change’ is who I am, self-correction, self responsibility, it is then not dependent on some pollutitian to expel an order to ‘change the world’, but I begin and walk it as myself.

What drove me to become part of Desteni and now the Equal Money System action team – lol – is because it makes complete sense. I didn’t have to think twice about it, it was immediate, it resonated with the entirety of what I had already seen and realized about this world. The money aspect was certainly something that I got to educate myself about as I was pretty much a money-detractor in terms of not wanting to do much with it, yet criticizing the system and everyone else within it. Ludicrous that I didn’t see myself as a part of it as well, but it doesn’t matter here, I’m already aware, directing and standing up for a solution so all past negligence has been self forgiven.

o
This will take time, yes – as the saying goes ‘Rome wasn’t built in one day’ and not that we want to build any mighty ego-driven cities, but it’ll take time to educate people about the principle – from parents to children – and then create the external change as a structure that will enable people to have more time to spend on education. It is definitely true that not many have a lot of spare time in their hands to research this as everyone is living in a fast-food mode, trying to make the most money to live in a decent way. Though to understand the basic principle we don’t require much time – it’s very clear and simple how all the Desteni material can be considered as various specific and detailed ways of explaining how giving to each other what we want for ourselves as the recognition of everyone and everything being equal as Life is the solution for this world. So we take self responsibility and create ourselves and the system as something that works for all equally.

o

o See, I don’t have a problem spending my lifetime dedicating myself to Desteni and the Equal Money System solution because it’s the only thing that makes sense in this world, it’s the only group of people that I’ve found on Earth that see things in a holistic and common sense way. We realize how fucked up this reality is and how it cannot possibly continue the same way. Any idea of us ‘doing something futile’ or running for an elusive ideal is simply part of the limitations and brainwashing we’ve accepted as humans to think ‘no change can be done, it’s impossible to do something about it’ which is reinforced by and within the current system to maintain people in the beloved submissive status quo. This is for the sake of keeping everyone fully subdued to a system that benefits from those that aspire to ‘someday’ obtain such powerful position that will lead them to the ever elusive ‘ultimate happiness and freedom’, while those in power have arranged the entire system so that there is never an actual possibility to get a hold of such pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Yes, it was never real.

Even if my mind goes haywire at times thinking about ‘changing the world’ I stop and realize that this is not about ‘changing the world’ as that would be a literal crazy idea, it’s about being the change I want to see in this world in common sense, becoming the living proof that it is possible to do so. For this I cannot say I’m ‘done’ at all, no way – we’re all walking this and day by day we realize and see for ourselves what is possible to do once we stand as a group that promotes what’s best for all through our own lives.

o Ultimately, this is not only for the sake of ‘Desteni’ or ‘Equal Money’ which are only but synonyms to living life in dignity for all, for actual freedom of expression and freedom to choose what we want to be and do once that we are part of a world where everyone will be having the same ability to choose. I have no problem if I spend my lifetime walking the implementation of it and only get to see one single stone placed as an ‘Equal World’ – there is nothing else I would rather be doing in my life, this process has become my life, it is my life, my everyday breathing as there is nothing that requires more attention than caring for the very world we live in, caring for the way other fellow living beings are going through their days in this same Earth. Stepping out of my bubble has been the healthiest thing I could’ve ever done and that’s how I am such a militant for life in Equality and this process of Self Honesty, because I’ve seen and realized how supportive life can be when you live, share, co-work and stand with beings that are in equal understanding of what’s best for all and join forces to make it a living reality.

o At last but not at least, I wouldn’t be able to be doing this alone, no way. I often speak as ‘we’ because I consider everyone standing as Desteni as part of myself that is opening eyes, as one voice that shares about what is required to do and conduct in this world, ‘what we do’ is who we are and I’m always grateful for having found Desteni, having found people that are daring to be real and it’s quite an honor to stand along with every one of them around the globe – even if it’s not in a ‘physical way’, we’re always here and working together.

o Being a Destonian, standing up for Life, supporting an Equal Money System – all are but tags and ways to proclaim: I am a human being that has opened eyes to the reality we’ve created in absolute negligence of life, now we see and take self responsibility doing what is required to be done to create a world that’s best for all.

o We have a single goal and we’re already walking the way to get there – protesting and rioting the streets creating more violence won’t do a thing. Therefore we simply continue focusing on a single life principle which is and will be the only outcome that can prevail in this world.

• Join us as this is a monumental task ahead, but it can be made simple and practical by simply standing as individual points that support the whole.

  http://www.desteni.org

• http://www.equalmoney.org