Tag Archives: culture

405. Culture: the Clockwork of our Psychosphere

 We may not change culture overnight, but we certainly CAN begin changing the way that we live and participate in it.

 

Continuing from:

 

  Seeing it from this perspective to me is quite supportive to ponder ‘twice’ any time I go to watch a film or see any works of art and remind myself that what I see is not special, not unique, it won’t give me a ‘breakthrough’ in itself and so stop for once and for all that ‘seeking’ mentality which is more like a habit from the past as I am certainly not looking for any ‘truths’ in it any longer once I have realized I created my own mythology with my art as well, without realizing that there’s nothing new under the sun and that we all use the same symbols and images so it’s just arranging it in a different way to create some meaning and give continuation to the stories – lies – we have been telling to ourselves as human beings to make us more godly or divine, at least that’s what the ‘art role’ was meant to be according to what is taught in academy. Yes, though once you start finding out the nature of such ‘god’ and such elites, well, let’s just say that art can be reduced as well to the most refined form of propaganda of course and now I understand why I had such a hard time realizing that all art had been previously entirely devoted to promote religion or immortalize monarchs or peasants to remind ourselves ‘this is how it’s always been like’ in the absence of the eye that can lie as well as the photographic camera, but hey every age requires its own cementation in our minds through pictures and words, so art served that function.

 

If anything, art has been used to impose symbols, to enslave – hence the ‘mythical’ start of it for magic-religious purposes. Gee, only now I kind of realize the pieces of my puzzle and the absolute diversion I delved myself into, no wonder I was seeking gods in pictures, symbols or philosophies – all part of the ‘inherent’ (read: preprogrammed) need to have someone/something greater than us to make responsible for this entire creation – so, religion is one of the primary mind constructs we all exist as, whether you are atheist or not, it’s part of the unconscious the same way that we believe that fighting for our lives is something that makes sense, or how the rich and the poor is how things have always been and always will be. Art then became the necessary imposition of images to perpetuate religious mentality for the purpose of pacifying/stupefying and sedating individuals while threatening with the ‘wrath of god’ if anyone dared to step outside of the line – well, it was religion back in the day but now it’s just alcohol, drugs, sports, entertainment and big pharma too, but that’s our contemporary story.

 

So, it’s taken me some time to find ‘more reasons’ to write about this art subject and it’s interesting how I had to use other pieces of information to break my own spell, meaning, having to let go of the idea of art as something ‘really human’ or else, as if it was more ‘true’ than anything else we do or say, which can’t be so, because everything we have ever thought, done, spoken comes from who we are as the mind and so we have only learned how to regurgitate the same ‘system’ into pictures, ideas, stories and so reinforce our own cages, which is why understanding one’s enslavement makes it easier to let go of anything one is holding onto from ‘the past’ which is the current automated reality we are living in – it is once again to remind myself that no matter how ‘majestic’ something might look like, it was never meant to glorify or represent life or principles of equality at all, but rather the opposite.

 

An example: writers were contracted to be informed about which topics to write upon, such as space travel, futuristic technocracies, alien invasions and so with doing this, begin an entire new ‘wave of thought’ in the society through these inoffensive tools called books that then eventually turned into movies. The same with films which are formulas to instigate a particular line of thinking and making of the main topics in them something acceptable as part of culture/what goes on in our minds as well – just as it’s happened with porn appearing on ‘mainstream movies’ nowadays as well as sadomasochism made ‘cool’ and we’re on our way to make of pedophilia and all kinds of paraphilias something ‘acceptable’ so that younger generations get the idea that ‘it is okay to have sex with older people.’ This is the current nature of our culture and where we are heading to.

 

Clockwork 2003

 

 

Once again, are we only revealing and making acceptable what always has existed within us as human beings, or are we instilling new behaviors through our culture? I’d say both since we create such fixations in our minds and we simply evolve the experiences to have new contexts, new ‘ideas’ to fantasize upon and so ‘upgrade’ the experience. In the mind we function as addicts that get our ‘fix’ from having something to think about or fantasize about and the initial experiences can get us to quite a ‘high’ but then, we continue ‘pushing the envelope’ because once the energetic reaction becomes normalized (you build resistance) one seeks a greater dose. This is what I see is what we’ve all been following in the media until it becomes absolutely unsustainable or else, what is left there to continue ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to our celebritism? To our ‘art’? to our films other than rehashing the same stories over and over again?

 

 

Why do I see this as a very relevant topic? Because I can see myself as a product of the ‘culture’ I decided to immerse myself in, and I mean this as an actual decision I made in my teenage years to soak up the most information about music, books, arts so that I could work on that – why did this happen? It clearly happened after 2001 and the almost paranoid reaction I had toward keeping myself high on CNN watching every detail and every move after 9-11– lol just like those elections where Bush wasn’t able to be clearly defined as the next president and you’d ponder WHY was I watching that? Well, it was my idea then of becoming politically involved. But after realizing the scam it was, I then veered toward that which I thought was more liberating: arts. My very relationships and career decisions were entirely shaped by every single book I read within the starting point of finding some kind of ‘truths’ in them, seeking to identify ‘me’ through the writer’s characters without realizing I was in fact absorbing it all to then rehash it in the form of ‘my own personality.’

 

The same with the music that I developed an affinity for, the stereotypes of individuals praised as ‘artists’ and how I also even trained myself to praise crap art (not literal though) because, well everyone else seems to also like it isn’t it? Lol like my ‘favorite movement’ Abstract Expressionism and Pollock – just praised alcoholics or junkies made stars on the cover of Life Magazine, upgraded to such stardom for a very necessary political move of that time when it comes to consolidating America’s position after WW2, and this would imply that  we only get to know of the artists that somehow have also ‘agreed’ to be part of the establishment – which from my personal aspirations of ever getting to that position means that everything has always been fixed and that no one becomes that famous without hidden agendas. Who knows? Maybe Van Gogh was made such a legend because of his erratic behavior and affinity for absinthe and so, he was made famous to begin instigating  more people to get into drugs to paint in such ways too… because let’s face it: we copy and integrate everything we see around us and if we see something that works to ‘get some success’ going, then we will try and emulate it because it is part of our preprogramming to seek such specialness and ‘uniqueness’ too, and some people like myself would seek it through artistic stardom, others through becoming a stock broker which means: yes, art is not ‘outside of the system’ at all, and the star-system is the learned protocol if one wants to ‘make it’ within the system.

 

 

 modern_slave

Artwork by JL Kenney

 

I actually decided in my early teens to watch all ‘cult movies’ because I was getting myself prepared to be ‘well acculturated’ and went from Pulp Fiction, Taxi Driver, A Clockwork Orange, Scarface, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Trainspotting, Reservoir Dogs and others..  you can see the constant topics there: drugs, criminality and ultraviolence and this is what is a ‘must’ in every movie along with sex if it is to ensure its success, a perfect carrier for imprinting new behaviors which are then copied by ourselves as if it was a mint reflection of our society.  When it comes to books, reading Burroughs, lots of Kerouac, Palahniuk, Coupland while listening to depressive music saying ‘It’s too late now, It’s the devil’s way now’ and watching people like Thom Yorke get ‘depressed’ in his ultra-famous lifestyle pointing out to us that even if you have it all there’s still that depressed state residing within due to being too aware of how things really work, or be told that Kurt Cobain committed suicide for hating this world and wanting to die – which I still consider he was suicided in fact, but that’s another story –  Well no ponder I painted what I painted, I just rehashed what I would read/hear/see around me: Culture!  And nowadays it’s stronger than ever to promote being dumb and stupid as ‘cool’ and having mentality such as ‘You Only Live Once’ and justifying any form of teenage stupidity because Hey, YOLO!  Or seeing the ultra mind controlled Miley Cyrus or some ten years ago Britney Spears breaking the norm of what a ‘lady’ should act/be like and continuing to push the boundaries when it comes to ‘gender roles.’

 

Entertainment was the key influence in my life throughout the time when I was developing my own emotions and feelings which is what I eventually enjoyed ‘losing’ myself into: as a child watching too much TV, as a teenager reading many books, listening too much music from which I learned more about the human mind while developing some rather unusual fascinations with everything that pointed out toward death and destruction, which I later on transposed onto my own paintings wherein I tried to also become part of the ‘shock world’ just because I was so much against what seemed normal and acceptable, so I found my ‘niche’ in society by everything that seemed to go against the tide.  An example is the time when I placed myself to watch some ‘cult movies’ like Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs, I considered them far too violent and could not comprehend how people could revere it, however I then wanted to be part of that world, of the ‘alternative’ or the not so widely acceptable, just anything that could question or challenge what I deemed to be the ‘status quo’ or ‘what is normal’ but, I wasn’t at all aware how it is that these movies were made popular for the very purpose of making sex, drugs, ultra violence part of the mainstream and ‘normalcy’ in our consciousness. 

 

 

The same went on with A clockwork orange, I watched it a couple of times and walked through my own early digestion of the idea of violence being enjoyable for these guys and pondering if others were able to discern that such violence was not in fact something funny or enjoyable and that these guys were sick in the gulliver. However a deliberate problem here is that Kubrick didn’t include chapter 21 on Burgess’ original story, which would have given another twist to the whole plot and shown a real grown up Alex that had transcended his ultra-violent teenage years as that would have ‘broken the spell’ for a film maker that was also meant to create a ‘mark’ in an entire generation and generations to come with the portrayal of violence as something fun to do, aside from the mind control remarks in an attempt to ‘cure’ Alex’s problem, which also gives a hint of what Big Pharma means today in a ‘mentally ill’ person’s life: cure without ever pondering WHY is it that our so called ‘mental illnesses’ exist today more so than ever before, and how we could even legitimize it without any real means to test someone for it?

I guess I could write many things about all of this since it’s part of my so-called ‘visual’ education, but the point here is to realize that nothing is what it seems, there has been no real virtues in this world, we have never been actually alive so anything I ever had respect for of course was just a lie that I wanted to hold on to for some reason, which in this case it came through what I would read in magazines that was considered ‘cool’ and ‘cult movies’ and ‘movie classics’ which actually were on purpose made part of such categories so that any person would then have to watch those movies and get acquainted with the basics that make of Hollywood something profitable till this day.

Will I be able to see things with the same eyes again? No, once the lid is blown off, you can’t. It is no longer a nice story where Jane the girl in American Beauty that would kind of see through the ‘fakeness’ in reality, ‘falling  in love’ and running away with a drug dealer to ‘escape their reality’ I mean, it stops having such romantic twist to it – as I had defined it anyways, lol – and it becomes just another plot where those that could not ‘fit in the box’ become ‘outsiders’ and living in the fringe side of reality.  However I do like to keep watching/reading to continue seeing where and how we have created this mass hypnosis where we have essentially become the personas that we are sold in the media: this is the not so innocent and most pervasive brainwashing and as such, I see it is very important to become more aware of how we ‘entertain’/entrain ourselves, and not end up in denial of that which we wasted our life time on, as I did at some point in my life too when being in a constant hypnosis of watching music videos for example.

 

The point here is demonstrating how we have never genuinely created something that demonstrated an actual point of self-creation in our culture, and of course we haven’t done so because We as individuals have Never in fact considered such starting point possible within ourselves in the first place, to recognize the power and ability to create ourselves, to become better human beings. All we have ever been and done is to exist as the ‘created’ at the mercy of some invisible creator, repeating, revamping, rehashing what has been used since the beginning of time to revere its ‘unfathomable’ existence and creation.  It was in the repetition of symbols, myths & archetypes, ideologies and holy books, behaviors and morals that we have shaped ourselves around the same acceptance of oneself as the mind only and from there, confirm our ‘human nature’ and why we seem to always be so unfulfilled, so miserable, suffering all the time, the ‘pains of living’ and the ‘struggle’ to make a decent living… is this what LIFE is really about or is this what we’ve seen/read/watched it is Meant to be? We have only perverted, tainted and twisted it all further, enhancing our own separation, ignorance, apathy and overall self-destruction through the ‘creations’ we’ve pulled out as arts/media/culture – please see specifically now contemporary art/ post modernism of which I became just a part of by reproducing the same ideas around everything that I would imprint within myself on a daily basis for years on from the TV: death, destruction, decay, suffering, abuse, sexual deviance and learning how to praise this as some kind of ‘truth’ of an individual, almost learning to accept this bs as  the ‘dark side’ that we had to come to embrace and make it more evident to ‘wake up’ but, of course we’ve kind of remained in the phase of becoming enamored with our distractions, our diseases, our paraphilias and haven’t yet given the next step to outgrow it and realize it for the teenage years this implies when it comes to our stages of development as species. Sure, you can be mesmerized by how well done/crafted some works are, but again:  is the starting point of it, the essence  and intent of it something that I can consider valuable or respectable and supportive for our real development as living human beings, to consider what is best for all within the context of self-honesty? No.

 

All seeing eyes 2005

 

In a way it does mirror our reality. Contemporary art became garbage, literal garbage sold as millions, or canned poo which is the most common example of how this ‘devaluation’ or should I say the entire extrapolation of value became yet another cognitive dissonance and part of the plan when art came to form part of ‘desirable collectibles’ by the elite and making some pieces of plastic worth millions of dollars – I correct myself, billions of dollars such as Sotheby’s record sales of 5.8 billion dollars in 2011 –  making it nothing more than just any other asset for people at Wall Street to feel empowered with. It is also very cool for me to see and realize this, and come to see how all those books I read trying to make sense of ‘the movements’ or phases of human expression were nothing else but planned justifications to make it seem as some kind of ‘natural evolution’ of sorts, when in fact it has always been planned specifically to follow through within the context of how the world works at an economic and political level. Let’s not forget it is the current roles of curators and ‘art authorities’ that decide what gets ‘consecrated’ and what doesn’t –  just as in regular HIStory told by the winners, the side of the story that we are meant to adopt and accept as ‘how the story went!’ so that we keep feeding each other lies and keep revering our own masters.

 

IGod

 

 

The current success of our drugged/medicated, dumbed down, fame seeking population suffering from cognitive dissonance, while being dumbfounded at celebritism confirms the effectiveness of our own mind control, accepted, allowed and even praised. When we look at our culture, we can see nothing else but the fulfillment of our own prophecy for absolutely consensual enslavement, one that we buy and choose as part of our personalities and preferences, believing that we can somehow still manage to ‘feel special’ in a standardized society where even ‘subcultures’ or anti-cultures are part of the system, lol. From my own experience, it will take quite some time to wake up from it, as it just took me some 7 years to come to realize this because I had wanted to keep the little idea or dream that these artists were ‘special people’ that had have some genuine ‘revelations’ in their work and what they do, which is what I tried to be a part of, to be the one that could ‘see’ behind the scenes or have some special connections with god –  I am not joking here, when I started painting I also wanted to be the hand of god to reveal something special, lol. But, how could that be without even pondering first if the thoughts, the images, the concepts we had in our minds were in fact our own, including the idea/notion/speculation of GOD itself?

 

 

The same with architecture and every ‘majestic’ construction, of course it was built by slaves but I still wanted to overlook the obvious inherent purposes of such constructions as the physical consolidation of what ‘control’ and ‘power’ looked like, of accepting the existence of massive amounts of wealth to build for the elites, repeating symbols for thousands of years and as such learn it in our history books as if it represented some ‘great work’ or revelation of our ‘who we are’ as species – dismissing the fact that if anything, we could confirm that we have never in fact ceased to exist as slaves, but instead we were taught how to  revere our enslavement. We are all in fact experiencing Stockholm Syndrome and it is rather urgent that we wake up to see how through the seemingly ‘innocent’ we are driving each other to the precipice, starting with child consumerism and the archetypes fed by Disney movies, it’s definitely something to focus on if we can’t at the moment entirely straighten the rest ‘crooked trees’ right away, but children are of primary importance here.

 

I still find it very interesting when I hear someone say ‘to have thoughts of their own’ as if we had our very own copyright to everything we think or say, as if we could create words from scratch. We weren’t even aware how our tastes and preferences were being shaped by ‘the environment’/culture and our lineage/parents which means you would get into it no matter if you went to private schools or else, because having a TV, reading books, watching films, or simply being with your peers would invariably taint you with it.  Drugs were never meant to be ‘liberating’ but the other way around, they were just promoted by these people that told us to ‘tune in and drop out’ while hanging out with artists/rockstars and make everyone drool to such ‘lifestyles,’ never even pondering who was financing some of the greatest ‘rock bands’ in history and virtually any ‘star’ that we have gotten to know of. It’s very simple: if you become famous, if you ‘make it’ it mostly usually means you had to continue playing the role and tell the stories that give continuation to the agenda for further indoctrination and control. This is how we became the useful idiots as human beings that  in seeking for a piece of heaven as fame and fortune, one comes to accept certain ideologies and behaviors, sometimes it’s not even by explicit consent because we then believe that we can innovate by ‘pushing the envelope further’ and ‘be controversial’ or transgressive as if this meant going against ‘the core of control’ as ‘the system’ or religions,  but in fact it is another contained form of ‘rebellion’ to continue misleading ourselves from the actual sources of change, which doesn’t mean dropping the white dove to embrace the raven within, but the consideration of the starting point of why I do this, what motivates me, what do I get from it? Am I supporting myself within this that I am doing/creating? Is my intention to support others and myself through it?

 

Nothing of what we see currently as ‘mainstream’ In our CULTure is spontaneous either, it is manufactured, it is deliberately fixed to promote certain ‘artists’ or ‘artworks’ or ideas through TV shows, so it doesn’t genuinely reflect an ‘evolution’ because there’s NEVER been such self-directive change in our consciousness: we’ve always been herded/guided. And this is yet another aspect to de-mystify about expression and what has been promoted as some kind of ‘spiritual revelation’ in art itself or in Satanism as pop-culture is presenting now: it was never in fact meant to ever represent genuine self-expression, it’s only a chewable way to integrate mind-control and mind possession as ‘normal’ and ‘cool’ while sending any living principles out of the scene and made uncool or ‘old-fashioned.’ 

 

Sacred Mindfucks 2008

 

 

If I hadn’t stopped myself from falling down that precipice of the new age/sacred art culture that I was delving myself into some 7 years ago, I would have probably be enamored with things that Alex Grey’s paintings or aiming to at least be someone like Banksy to be an incorporated and revered form of ‘resistance’ to the system. Everything is literally ‘on our noses’ as the culture we breathe in and out every single day – and there was still a part of me that refused to entirely SEE this or more like placing it into words, as I was still holding on to keeping just this ‘little pieces of heaven’ as the ideas of who these ‘great artists’ had been, and ‘what great inspirations’ they have represented for me and yes I repeat, their work probably is/was or their ideas,  but of course it never meant a life-changing example but more of a conducted and deliberate plan to continue misleading from promoting or making actual solutions part of our ‘pop culture’ or art movements. This is why everything is so contained as if it was prescribed, it’s a preprogrammed plan as well and as such there was no real ‘innovation’ or real creativity involved but prepaid craftsmanship to advance and give specific morals, ideas, en vogue topics as the ‘new directions’ to our human culture and this is what I’m most intensely interested on these days: debunking our culture.

 

Maybe I can learn something from that Chuck Klosterman’s book I read many years ago Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs  to analyze popular culture and see how it is that our fitter-happier mentality in this capitalist ‘mediafied’ system is the ‘filter’ through which we create our relationships, how we interact with one another is entirely manufactured for a specific purpose: to become willfully ignorant and prisoners of our own diversion and distraction as we become addicted to what’s in the ‘psychosphere’/collective unconscious and be a part of our globalized mentality, which I don’t necessarily judge as ‘bad’ but only see all the points that would require to be aligned to be a supportive popular culture, and we are heading in the opposite direction at the moment.

 

So, one point to consider here is that this is in no way to blame those that apparently ‘set the agenda’ as ‘they’ were just part of the game anyways, but rather looking at how I/we accepted and allowed ourselves to become prisoners of our own diversions, of our own emotions and feelings, of our own minds while neglecting to really look at what is it that we are making of ourselves, what have we turned ourselves into and use common sense as a point of reference to see ‘where we are’ in our day to day participation: is what I like, do, follow, commit to what is best for all? Why is it that something as vital as politics and understanding of how the system really works never been part of our inherent ‘culture’? Why have we reduced politics to a mockery? Nowadays politicians seem to be more of a subject for reality shows with the same contest-like popularity mentality structure where one can ‘vote’ for the lesser of two evils and call that a civil duty – so why are no real definitions of politics as in realizing our power to direct our lives and so make effective decisions to benefit ourselves as society?  Oh no! That’s where the real threat exists! That’s why we are constantly taught to hate ‘the elite’ and ‘hate politicians’ and see them as ‘the problem’ while excluding ourselves as co-creators of the problem – that’s the Real problem in fact. And so the importance of always considering SELF-Responsibility in everything we might think or believe that only ‘a few’ are imposing ‘upon us.’ It is as simple as realizing that there would be ‘no culture’ if we – one by one – didn’t actively participated in it.

DSC01882

 

I remember this text of about 50 pages on what ‘Culture’ is when I was in junior high school and now I would reduce the definition of culture to the industry of making behavioral imprints part of a person’s individual and collective identity for the purpose of maintaining old-age status quo with the appearance of evolution or progress while creating a paradigm of ideologies that perpetuate the divide and conquer mentality through the mechanisms of entertainment and arts, which are intended to standardize thinking, behavioral, emotional and feeling patterns in the masses. There has never really been an evolution, but only a change of scenario with words that would indicate ‘progress’ while missing out on the actual newspeak this ‘progress’ entails. How can there be any progress when we still leave out billions of individuals from having access to the most essential needs to live in dignity, such as water, food, shelter, healthcare? This is also to place into perspective in which kind of segmented bubbled mentality we exist in when praising the lavish lifestyles of our rich and famous while disregarding and deliberately ignoring the real problems we have come to accept as ‘normal’ in our world.

 

 Common Sense and Principled Living to consider Life in Equality and What’s Best for All in everything we do/act/speak is what we don’t yet  learn in school and this is why it is so important to start debunking everything we had used as an excuse to justify ‘who we are’ and our ‘human nature’ within ‘culture,’ because culture is still man-made, it is NOT something inherent to our physical bodies, it is not in the air we breathe, it is not in the food we eat – no matter how contaminated or GMO’d it can be – it is all about who we are in the mind and what we decide to participate in. Human Nature and ‘Culture’ have become the greatest excuses as to why it is apparently ‘impossible to change’ now, it is a comfortable lie we like to tell ourselves, so we have to being there before attempting to call others ‘liars’ isn’t it? That’s where self-integrity and self-honesty begins.

 

It’s time to debunk my own perceptions of what art was supposed to be and to understand that even if I had the intention to ‘see beyond the veil’ the very fact that I wanted to hold on to some apparent ‘good’ things I had believed were a virtue in some individuals and human creations like in art made me want to hold on to certain aspects of my own cultural conditioning from which I developed my personality, my taste in men, the lifestyle I wanted, the kind of music, TV, books and everything that I previously regarded as , ‘the who I am’ within the social-soup of reality which is the way I shaped myself to be as who I am as my mind. I bet that everyone can relate to identifying oneself to one character in a movie, in a book, or with some artist and even emulate the way they lived their lives or trying to mimic ‘how they got to make it’ in the world. Another example of this manufacturing of culture is how suddenly certain things would become available and so ‘openly’ talked about in the mainstream like with the hippie movement and psychotropic drugs, sexual openness, the apparent female empowerment and the tune in-drop out ‘living’ mode which gave another step toward the new age movement. Little did I know there was nothing really ‘special’ about that in the sense of human consciousness suddenly ‘evolving’ or us finding some kind of ‘gate’ to the heavens lol, but instead it is about seeing how these were specific experiments conducted by the CIA to precisely get an entire generation interested on drugs, spirituality and the ‘unseen’ as well as feeding addictions rather than ever getting closer to finding out real ways to make of our lives in this world-system better, such as politics or becoming familiarized with the ways the money system operates, who decides how we conduct our social-programs, why do we we even limit ourselves in our economic systems and so forth.

 

 art-should-be

 

 

There have been many, many things that have suddenly become a point of focus and attention in our lives, because it is constantly talked about of and/or advertised and so we diminish ourselves to be receptors and regurgitate what we watch on mainstream media, and then ponder why ‘everyone’s talking about…..’ similar topics. Well, there’s no magic in that. I made the experiment myself some years ago when I deliberately would not watch anything about pop culture, I didn’t even know who Lady Gaga was until late 2010 and dared to listen to the music, but before that I only got to know of the name and person through the covers of magazines that I would see while making a line in the supermarkets in South Africa. So, it is possible to be ‘out of the loop’ of course if you step outside of mainstream TV, radio and not visit such pop culture websites. However because right now we are so plugged into everything that is constant ‘news’ and celebritism, you get to know of these individuals whether you like it or not, it’s just all over and one can ignore it, but you can’t avoid seeing the pictures everywhere. So this is how we move ourselves en masse to keep enticing  ourselves to upscale our own obsessions and diversions from ever considering what it is that our lives would be without such entertainment? Maybe we would start actually focusing on why we have to constantly suffer, strive and really exist as slaves that only worry about money and fearing to lose our jobs.

 

It is essential to get ourselves out of this survival mode if we want to ever get to a point of providing to each other a dignified living, and most of the time we rather have a joystick between our hands or hypnotize ourselves with Netflix marathons rather than taking some of the multiple sources in the internet and start scratching the surface to understand why do we live in such a dog-eat-dog world? How have we created this nature of the system? What can we do about it? Which would in fact then be us realizing that politics IS what should have always been part of our culture, it IS what should have always formed part of our essential education: to realize each one of us has the power to create oneself and as such direct our reality in a way that is beneficial for all.

So, by saying this we can already see that we have been ‘living’ in a deliberately concealed or fabricated version of our reality to precisely Not dig into these topics, to Not see behind the glitter and glam that we are constantly fed with by the surreal lives portrayed on television.  So, this all indicates to myself that as I now see, realize and understand with more clarity than ever before, it is my responsibility as a human being, as part of this creation and part of the problem to support myself and be a point of support for others that also want to start taking the veil off of their eyes. This is the real apocalypse time, the time of revealing to ourselves all the lies we have bought and sold as ‘our culture’ for example, and how it is this very ‘culture’ that has become the very virus we all get infected with by getting high on the experiences we choose to get from it, getting lost in the fantasy realm of the fictions that serve for multiple purposes leading to a greater distraction and diversion from ever considering doing something more substantial to really change the world.

 

It is so true to say that the real revolution won’t be televised, and everything that once was ‘revolutionary’ or ‘alternative’ becomes mainstream and so gets sucked into the system again, nor do I mean the type of revolution with guns, protests and machetes – but the revolution of who we are as our minds. So, I do not actually oppose getting mainstream if these ideas proposed here start becoming the usual awareness of how this world really operates; in fact, the more and more we start collectively seeing this, the more and more difficult it will be to buy just any lie, to fall for the same Hollywood crap we are sold in order to upgrade and instill ‘new ideas’ of what we are meant to be thinking about now. There’s nothing new really, we have reached the end of ‘creativity’ and it is now the time to start creating a New Living Culture of Life, one where we make of self-responsibility a necessity to coexist in dignity, a culture of principles where we can support each other to live and stop losing ourselves in emotional mindfucks and enhancing our obsessions.

Our human nature has never certainly been benevolent, but praising its malevolence will only get us further down the hole. So if I see this, if you see this: it is us that have to change how culture is created nowadays. And how to do this? You may ask, well, it’s not to merely ‘change’ what is created, but changing ourselves, changing who we are as the creators and participants in this reality which will determine the nature of our creations, that’s the real birthing as life creative process we’re talking about here, and I want YOU to join us in it.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that all aspects of what I had called ‘culture’ as a way to ennoble ourselves as human beings was in fact nothing else but the show off of our very core programming, all based on personalities that were in fact also used to give continuation to certain ‘phases’ in our own mind control or self-awareness diversions such as books, music, films that I once believed were a ‘reflection’ of ourselves –  and they are – however they also were in fact great instruments of conditioning and imprinting of certain behaviors and ways of looking at the world to the point where every person that has had contact with this ‘culture’ of watching movies or reading books or ‘admiring’ artists has had that point of self-identification toward them as if they represented something noble in fact to copy or integrate as a role model or something to aspire to – which might be in certain cases – but in my own experience this is how I learned to be comfortable with violence, decay and pushing the boundaries of what I would deem as ‘acceptable’ based on the idea that the more the envelope was being pushed within me, the more ‘in’ or ‘Avant-garde’ I could become myself, which is nothing else but just having pushed myself to make even the most hideous things ‘acceptable’ and part of subcultures which I did had a reticence to accept as ‘normal’ yet, because of seeing the amount of people that would like certain kind of images or personalities or so called paraphilias, then I believed that we had to embrace our ‘evil’ or our ‘dark side,’ and all of this knowing within myself that it wasn’t really ‘okay’ but because it is part of our society then, I made it ok on purpose so as to not seem ‘out of the loop’ with what my ‘culture’ seemed to be moving on to.

 

Something that I begun noticing from the time that I began watching cable TV which is 20 years ago, is that at least in something like MTV everything started becoming more and more outrageous to the point of scandalous and plain degenerated, however it was made ‘cool’ because of the idea of ‘art’ and ‘avant-garde’ and post-modernism and all of these tags that I actually believed were pretty much ‘in tune’ with what we are witnessing in our societies, not realizing that within looking at what was first the chicken or the egg, they simply represented more ways to continue ‘shocking’ ourselves and accepting violence, depravation, sexual morbidity, the lack of any values as something that was part of ‘my generation’ and so actually beginning to also see myself as part of that ‘lostness’ that was portrayed everywhere and the lostness that sought to get high, to have sex, to ‘live life’ through alcohol and feeling like there is no way out in this life other than becoming a junky or ultimately commit suicide as it was staged to be seen from some of our generation’s pop-culture heroes like Kurt Cobain  – I mean all of these personality traits somehow I felt Identified with it to the point wherein you can look at my book collection, and a great amount of them will have the topic of drugs, dharma bums, of spiritual outcasts, off-griders, shockers like Miller, Burroughs, Ellis, Bukowski and the usual Sartre just to make myself push my own boundaries. No matter how much they seemed to ‘tell the truth’ it could also be them supporting these personalities and making them ‘known’ to everyone else as ‘how the youth is’ which is a double way to portray reality and reinforce the same patterns/behaviors/traits which are not necessarily self-supportive. I didn’t find any ‘truth’ or practical self-supportive views on life in them – the same as with Coupland or Palahniuk’s book through which I would rather confirm my supposed state of ‘outcastism’ I caged myself in, no matter how much I enjoyed them, it was all just programming reinforcement – all of it just served as sugar for my personalities, to upgrade them and upgrade the addiction.

“Outcasts may grow up to be novelists and filmmakers and computer tycoons, but they will never be the athletic ruling class.”
Chuck Klosterman, Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto

 

There you go, our ‘truths’ made quotes.

 

 

Here’s to my process of self-debrainwashing:

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever define myself according to the characters I enjoyed in books, the artists and their attitudes such as standing ‘against the system’ while actually denigrating themselves to a low-lifestyle just to ‘not depend on a government’ for example, which is just the same mentality of ‘the dreamers’ and the people that so-called could stand ‘free’ or ‘be the resistance’ and ‘never fit in’ through creating art, without realizing that this mentality of ‘the outcasts’ – of which I read several books on – the ‘rebels,’ the ‘anti-system’ musicians, the depressive mentalities that I became so engulfed in to the point where I missed my own life while just becoming addicted to feeling ‘down’ wherein I have found it difficult to allow myself to enjoy myself, just because of how much I reinforced my pessimism, my gloomy view on life based on the types of preferences that I developed as a child from age 7 and on, within the idea that this was the ‘cool stuff’ that I had to make myself like that ‘fringe’ side of reality just because I initially would be shocked by it to the point wherein I would go from the fear/shock to the attraction and then integration of it as part of ‘who I am.’ In this I was aware how I went ‘pushing my own envelope’ for the purpose of being special, being unique since people my age as my peers weren’t ‘into the stuff’ that I was into back then, which made me feel that I could see beyond the happy-go-lucky mentality and that somehow the dark and mysterious was ‘more real,’ which in a way it is just defining myself according to the good/bad essential separation mentality in which we have caged ourselves throughout ages, to always be in conflict with one another and within ourselves.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I was being ‘true to myself’ by being a rather pessimist person and with an obscure view on life based on what I saw was also ‘con-firmed’ by others like writers, musicians, filmmakers that I believed could ‘understand me’ but in fact we were all just acting out on our emotions and feelings and not really doing anything else other than what we were meant to do, such as feeling helpless to do anything for our lives and world, following our preprogrammed personalities while using ‘culture’ as a way to justify our copy-paste of ‘trends,’ personalities, ideas, beliefs, preferences and then! Even dare to create relationships based on these preferences, which is something I did and that I consider many people do, which is once again only creating relationships and ideas of ourselves based on what has kept the entire ‘show’ running as is without opening up real possibilities for change, because in holding on to this so-called ‘art’ and ‘culture’ I was in fact limiting myself from seeing the actual potential we have as real self-creation, which is then stopping following ‘the leaders’ and ‘trends’ that are manufactured or trying to ‘fit into’ certain personalities, but instead focus on changing the starting point of everything we do/act/speak on, changing our lives from copycats to self-creative individuals without any need for ‘external reinforcement’ to do so.

 

I forgive myself that I had accepted and allowed myself to focus on all ‘the bad’ and that which I believed we refused looking at or realizing as a way to ‘wake us up’ but now, that’s also become part of ‘the norm’ and so developing a kind of ‘resistance’ or immunity to any form of shock, which is why I realize that utilizing images to shock even more is just not doing the work any longer. This is then about developing new ways that involve thinking out of the box as in thinking outside of the morality of the good vs. the bad and start focusing on living principles within our self-creative abilities.

I realize that in order to create any life-supportive art, the creator itself must walk through this deconstruction process him/herself so that one is deliberately then willing to contribute with one’s words, action to the creation of a world that is best for everyone as our common aim at this moment in our world. And this will imply also the exposure of the fallacies that we have revered as our history, and so forgiving that past fuckup and see it for the propaganda that it was as a creation of ‘the winners’ in the world, and so build a new culture of life that involves self-education, self-improvement through learning more about what it means to live within Self-Honesty and learn how to honor each other as life. This is not ‘uncool’ this is what we have pushed ourselves to see as ‘uncool’ or ‘outdated’ but that’s the key to a genuine change in our mentality and so in our reality.  We need books, we need films, we need music, we need plays, we need visual works that can be tools of support for this process of self-revelation or ‘the revelation’ process which can also expose the art of the past for what it was, what was its purpose, its consequences and so make each other aware that we have collectively used something as culture to continue ‘pushing the envelope’ and not questioning further the type of fascinations or addictions that we simply came to ‘embrace’ as part of our lives as that would make us ‘avant-garde’ or ‘keeping up with our times’ in the illusion of progress, which were in fact fabricated for the purpose of preventing us from actually focusing on that which matters, which is getting to know ourselves, developing self awareness and becoming individuals that can genuinely break the patterns from the past in all aspects of ourselves as there is nothing I can hold any form of respect, devotion or admiration from ‘our culture’ in the past, because we didn’t use it to share with each other how to actually live and become our fullest potential as species.

I now understand this ‘letting go’ of something that I had wanted to hold on to as part of my self-definition. And I can see that this is part of the ‘programming’ that I had to shed over time which in itself is part of my process in order to not only see it as ‘preprogramming’ but understanding how this culture that I had become fond of was never meant to support ourselves and each other to realize ourselves as life. This is what we have conditioned each other to by our own acceptance and allowance and such, it is now when I decide to understand more about the world-system picture so that I stop revering that which was never meant to be supportive for life.

 

 

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404. Deconstructing Culture as Myself

 

As I continue my self-investigation it seems that realizing the fact that we all have been preprogrammed individuals following a very specific ‘plan’ that involved conditioning ourselves to become a certain role/personality in our minds and never question it,  wasn’t still completely grasped within me when it comes to seeing culture and how it has been specifically designed to support particular agendas that have led to various ‘cultural movements’ that within me I still wanted to believe were attempts of us as human beings trying to ‘break-through’ or ‘break-free’ – lol – but mostly managing to break ourselves further through imprinting certain behaviors, ideas, concepts, morals, ‘world vision’ that became actual distractors in the sense that none of these points would be useful or supportive for a genuine change in this world, but instead it was the patterning and standardization of what we would think, what we would understand as ‘freedom’ and what we would find entertaining or alluring in our lives, which is also containing the ways in which we see/define/categorize and think ourselves and everyone/everything else, which is mind control through the most ‘subtle means’ such as television/media/arts and everything that is usually reached by the average person, even if such person doesn’t go to school for example.

 

All of this was part of the ‘greater plan’ to be perpetually enslaved to our own constant desire to experience, to be ‘hooked on energy’ so to speak which is what we accepted as our every day living, our every day ‘drive’ and motivation to go to work, do the exact same things every day to earn a living and then come home and be able to relax while getting ‘updated’ on ‘what is going on in our minds’ which is what then becomes part of your passive indoctrination into new fascinations, new obsessions, new desires to consume, body types, new personalities, new things to essentially get ourselves occupied with in our minds which became a self-inflicted way to accept and allow ourselves to dive into complacency of how this system operates, since we mostly came to conclude that ‘As long as I can have my free time to do whatever I like doing to relax and entertain myself and those around me are protected ($),  who cares whatever else is going on in the world?’ – we even have gotten to the point of praising our enslavement by idolizing those that we have accepted and allowed as ‘masters’ in our world and gullibly thinking that we can someday reach/rich ‘that top’… without realizing the system is structured to not allow anyone else to get to such positions, but be constantly reminded ‘they can’ if they just hit the jackpot like stars do nowadays with reality shows, singing contests and whatnot. It’s All around us and no matter if kids are homeschooled, kids will still be having a TV, internet, peers that will simply be also the product of all of this so, we have to establish principles in order to direct ourselves within it and so the younger more impressionable minds too.

 

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In my case I linking what should have been rather obvious to me from the time that I became more ‘acquainted’ with TV at the age of 7, specifically cable TV and American TV Channels. But also from the books that I read throughout my teenage years, I was still holding on to them and the writers as proof of what I believed was an attempt of us to ‘breakthrough’ or ‘step out of the system’ when it comes to human creativity and other creations like music, fine arts, films – all of the ‘marvels’ of the world that I once saw myself being ‘inspired by’ in order to overcome my own inner conflict which was in fact first of all created by everything that I began watching on TV as I had no actual ‘worries’ in my life as such. I can say I am a genuine product of spending childhood watching MTV for example. So, I’ve been finding out how it is that these ‘artists’ were in fact used or let’s place it in a more tangible way: their own creativity was rather used in order to further certain agendas related to ‘pushing the envelope’ when it comes to instilling ‘new’ ideas, personalities, fantasies, personalities, ‘ideologies’ and even addictions within people, all of it paid with what is called fame and fortune wrapped in the package of ‘celebritism’ or artistic personalities or eccentrics that portrayed the apparent ‘perfect ways’ to ‘escape the system’ – to present the illusion of ‘yes, anyone can get to the top!’ or ‘Anyone can beat the system and escape!’  and bam! There I went, right into it as far as I could when I was into aiming at doing/becoming like certain personalities and doing what they did and living their life.

 

Now within this there’s also a point to consider how it is not only some evil cabal’s plan to complete their ‘great work’ and have all these stereotypes, morals, behaviors, ideas being imprinted in everyone’s minds through manufacturing culture and all of us believing that artistic manifestations were evidence of ‘man’s evolution’ – which in essence as such, evolution is just consciousness upgrading itself, which means there’s no real Self-Awareness in it, just new ‘trends’ that could be sold to people in an attempt to fulfill the constant desire to progress, to advance, to ‘become better’ – lol – not realizing we haven’t ‘evolved’ an iota from the moment of our creation, only the scenarios have changed and we have seen our ‘technology’ create the illusion that we have changed, but we haven’t, at all.

 So this is to understand that the history we have been taught in schools of course is taught by the winners, those that have created the wars and have perpetuated the idea of how a god would choose who the monarchs would be, and so forth – all of it which was usually ‘backed’ by the evidence of artistic creations used as another alibi to confirm certain theories of our evolution. But in reality, a lot of it has been transfixed in order to suit certain theories to, once again, advance certain notions of evolution, of real change and human refinement, simply to continue justifying what we have as ‘arts’ today which have mostly become part of the dumbification or downgrading of ourselves as individuals in order to promote carelessness, apathy, destruction, chaos, mental disorders, the destruction of any value or principle but only shock and disturb to such an extent that it becomes a ‘norm’ nowadays in what we call our entertainment, which is really entrainment.

Once we get to know of the actual history – through currently non-institutionalized sources of course – of how our culture has been engineered as a necessary tool of propaganda to back the ‘story’ of ‘how things are/how they have been’ and paving the way to ‘how things will be’ there is no doubt that we are continuing to lock ourselves in these ideals based on what we get/absorb from the media/environment around us, which is nothing else but the same mind patterns made ‘enjoyable’ just like junk food that one can get addicted to: it tastes good, you then crave for it but nevermind really getting to know about the lack of nutritional content.  In essence our culture has become the glorification and legitimization of ‘our human nature’ as ‘who we are as the mind,’ separated from reality into the fictional stories that we could spend our entire lifetime creating of ourselves as personalities, as ‘characters’ in our own ‘movie’ that we actually begun thinking we had to create as ‘our lives’ and ‘our relationships.’ It’s been very interesting to me to see my own brainwashing and how my own relationships, my own thoughts/ideas/fixations were all imprints that I took from music, music videos, books, TV shows and essentially immersing myself in a culture that I wanted to belong to at the time – American Culture – because of loathing ‘my own culture’ which is what I had then perceived as the low-life Mexican Culture and as such never realizing I was actually then going to be my own reference as to ‘who one becomes’ when continually watching American TV, which I did for the most part from age 7 till probably 15-16 or so.

 

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CULTure is the perfect way to entrain ourselves into consciousness, ‘what everyone is thinking about’ and ‘what’s talked about’ which comes in the form of our news, TV shows, movies, music, etc. containing components as behaviors, personalities, thinking patterns, fashion, attitudes, morals, obsessions, addictions, etc. – all of it having ‘profitable’ purposes but goes beyond that and into the necessary role of providing the ‘circus for the masses’ to ensure that this time, the Holy Roman Empire does not fall for not giving enough bread and circus to the people. One only has to have a look around us and see that it’s easier to talk to someone about a TV show than politics or economics; it’s easier to strike a conversation with someone about a movie than it is to discuss our emotionally driven tendencies to buy products as way to compensate for some kind of ‘emotional need.’ Culture has always been the way to perpetuate a mindset, a way to legitimize ‘how life is lived’ and ‘how things are done,’ what is ‘cool’ and what is not, which essentially consolidates our usually used as an excuse to not change ‘human nature’ – culture is its own PR campaign that we are then taught in schools as part of our history and ‘ethics’ so that we are reminded that ‘there’s ALWAYS been someone at the top of the food chain, there’s ALWAYS been slaves that are disempowered, deal with it, try to always aim at the top and enjoy the show while it lasts.’

Currently if one cannot see the actual agendas for further depravity, lack – because they were never ‘lost’ of any living principles and the ‘Do as Thou Wilt’ mentality to give continuation to our ‘age old’ culture, one must be very, very brainwashed – not to worry though, it’s not too late yet. Nowadays sexual depravity is the ‘norm’ when it comes to the idea of ‘sexual liberation’ and female empowerment means stripping down in front of crowds and being praised by millions as some kind of ‘queen.’ Another example is how within our ingrained desire to ‘feel free’ the idea of ‘the rebel’ or the ‘anti-system’ became part of the social engineering process to always contain and control any form of actual break-through within individuals, which is the predictable way of acting if you see that something is ‘not right’ and your are being abused, you then aim and attempt to ‘break free’ from the oppressor by opposing, judging, antagonizing and denying it, revolting against it which are all the ‘anti’ movements that have become part of the systematic and predictable antithesis processes to actually Contain the people within such stance/roles and behaviors for which ‘the system’ as we have all co-created it was always ready to thrown back some ‘solution’/synthesis to further control. It’s just following what Lenin said in the lines of If you want to control the opposition, take the head of it, and you can see that all ‘leaders’ and role models in arts and so-called revolutionary people have been also part of perpetuating the same status quo, even if they were not aware of.

 

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To prove this point in terms of realizing how our culture has not been one that supports life, I bet that you have most likely never seen a movie pointing out how life is not about participating in our own mind as thoughts, emotions or feelings… or becoming self-responsible, or empowering each other to become the actual directors of our lives, of how poverty could be eradicated if we all partake in political solutions – not just one lucky good-doer leader here and there – not at all, instead we create the opposite and as such, it becomes what occupies our mind at a conscious level, it’s what suits our ‘human nature’ which is that of blame, vengeance, victimization…  just look at V for Vendetta that became the brainwashing mechanism for everyone at Occupy Wall street believing they had some kind of ‘power’ to oust ‘the bankers’ while seeking revenge – lol, fascinating how MOVIES are in fact dictating how we even ‘revolt’ nowadays, isn’t it? Not to mention the masks that became part of protests since 2011 and specifically the ‘anonymous movement’ are copyrighted to Time Warner, thank you for your contribution to one of the five top corporations that run the media in this world – wink, wink. How have we accepted and allowed to become SO predictable and SO Brainwashed and still fall for it? Easy, the same culture has become the only ‘soup of thoughts’ we all swim in.

 

 

This is precisely WHY ‘going against the system’ is just becoming the predictable pattern within the foreseeable attempts to ‘break free’ from our minds which is just playing the role of becoming the dark pole to the white counterpart or ‘going in the opposite direction,’ confirming our ‘dialectic’ predictable mentality that was also part of what ‘great philosophers’ left on Earth…  it is really only giving a name to the mechanisms in which we operate in our own minds – no big discovery, only making visible what we already exist as in our polarity mind-constructs of good and bad, right and wrongs, positive and negatives caging ourselves into oblivion within Energy and the illusion of ‘breaking free’ – all of it being the ‘building blocks of the illusion’ that we can call culture formed by the massive distribution and repetition of ideologies, images, sounds = all created in and as the image and likeness of who we are as the mind and its mechanisms, hence the importance of knowing thyself and becoming Aware of what one thinks, what principles one lives by, how we created our personality, what are our goals in life and where did we take those ideals from? Why do we dress a particular way? Why do we like a particular set of movies? Why do we Feel differently toward things, people, places, music …. There are so many theories and attempts to debunk the origin of our culture and all I can remember from it is that as human history it ends up when ‘hitting a wall’ where no man has gone beyond – before 2006 – and attributing everything to god or a creator and as such, for example seeing the origin of art as having some kind of magical-religious purposes…. Oh yes, that means core programming for enslavement within the idea of ‘higher someone’ dictating everything we do and because we could not understand it, we came to draw it or paint it or sculpt it so that it would later on become our way to solidify the same plot of what we have come to accept and allow as ‘how things have always been,’ and even learned how to revere it as well! That is us at the dawn of our species, and that is still us at the time as well. No evolution has taken place whatsoever.

 

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Coming back to my own case here, it’s cool and rather necessary for me to debunk what I see I had wanted to hold on to as some kind of belief in ‘human creativity spark’ or a bit of ‘romanticism’ when It comes to human expression and sure, the works and creations themselves can still be very well done, but it’s definitely not something ‘special’ or as an attempt to ‘break through’ some kind of programming – lol –  it’s rather the opposite. Once one starts seeing and understanding the ‘big picture’ and how these personalities or built-up stars play a role within the whole scheme and get to understand who paid them, for what purpose, within the context of which agenda, any remains of romanticism or ‘out of the box’ hopes upon artists just goes down to the drain as it should, because it was never ‘real’ anyways, it was never intended to honor and support life, so why praising something or someone that I personally only used to confirm my own existence as a mind consciousness system that absorbed all of this knowledge and information to further myself down my own mythological rabbit whole? It’s pointless.

To me this is a bit ‘late’ to realize in my process with such clarity, but better later than ever breaking through yet another ‘layer’ within the experiences, ideals and fascinations held within me as part of ‘my personality’ created in the image and likeness of the illusion; what I mean by ‘illusion’ are my experiences, my own responses toward certain artists, books, films, arts in general which means, how I FEEL and how I would See myself in relation to ‘what is of this world’ and what ‘suit’ I wore most of the time to be in it. I also see that I can apply this same realization to any other point or aspect in reality toward which I had held some ‘special value’ upon and instead see it  within self-awareness for what it physically is,  realizing that there’s no ‘grandeur’ in anything in this reality at the moment that I could genuinely ‘praise,’ because everything that we’ve ever done as humanity and our ‘culture’ specifically has been engineered within the context of our preprogrammed reality, of revering the mind and system that it is in our outside world – but never life which is what I actually ended up doing for myself: I found ‘my place’ in the world in a comfortable cage where – If I had continued down my ‘preprogrammed path’ – I could not at all have affected real change, because arts as I now see, in order to become really ‘famous’ and revered, you cannot genuinely destabilize the status quo, and so all the people I admired and I believed made some advancements really only landed themselves in jails or ended up as drug addicts, alcoholics, committed suicide or fell for the path of fame and glory as it is still apparently ‘too hard to refuse’ when you can sign a pact with the devil to get everything you want and ‘make it’ in this dog-eat-dog world. We have all become preys of our own emotions, feelings, desires and wants, yet we believe that that is the key to a fulfilling life, to ‘get it all’ when it is in fact that way in which we are imprisoning us all at the moment, disregarding the fact that if I take more for me, I am in fact leaving another without any.

This is a lengthy point to me as I chose to and wanted to become part of culture as a creator of it, so I chose to study a career dubbed as ‘creator of culture’ which is arts, visual arts and for the most part I’ve seen how ‘arts’ in general are being used as the circus to entertain, to further decay, to instill new ‘ideologies’ and ideas with which we most likely end up much worse that we already are doing in our overall human decay we’re living in. This too can be changed and I see this IS the point I can certainly do not only for myself, but for anyone else that’s realizing the same propaganda-role that art has taken throughout our known history of it.

 

So, this is not over yet, it’s only just begun. I would actually challenge and/or suggest to you reading this to look at which character either from a film or book, what artist you idolized or ‘wanted to emulate’ for some reason and why, what kind of ideology from a certain movie or series you could ‘identify’ with and decided to make it your own by becoming/acting/speaking/wanting to look like someone you saw on the TV, a film, a book character, an artist, etc. The more and more we start considering the seemingly subtle ways in which our behavior and what we claimed to be ‘our own personality’ has been influenced by the media and entertainment we participate on a constant basis, the more we will be able to realize to what extent we are STILL accepting and allowing the continuation of the problems in this world by realizing that our current culture is not one of self-support and honoring each other as life, as equals – but instead we are using it to perpetuate and upgrade our own alienation from the matters that should have always been part of our culture, which begins with self-awareness of who we are in ourselves as our mind and How we are contributing to the creation or destruction of our reality with the ways we act, speak, think within our lives and toward others.

 

This will continue …

 

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Are you mind controlled? Test yourself here:


359. Equal Life Rights

 

The physical body of life is in fact the Equality as Life that all of us individuals have. This exists by virtue of the natural way we are born into this world before being embedded with the identity, name or civilian state that comes along with our Birth Certificate, becoming part of a particular configuration and environment that determines how poor or rich a child will be, which opportunities will be available to have a dignified living, what type of religion and culture will they have to adopt etc. – these inequalities are not being considered as part of the problems that prevent Human Rights from being implemented in Equality in Humanity – the solutions are here.

Continuing with:

 

Problem                                                             

  • Human Rights’ are understood by some  as a ‘ broad abstraction’ and too much of a Universal Declaration  under which All humans are meant to be categorized and implied in the same equation. This somehow troubles people with regards to finding anything ‘common’ in all humans beyond the biological or naturalistic perspective. This already reveals to what extent we have blinded ourselves as human beings to the point where we have been more focused on establishing differences, individuality, identities and nationalisms instead of  focusing on the Physical Human Nature that we are all existent as by virtue of having/embodying the same biological quality of a physical human body, having a mind and a life substance/spirit that is no more and no less existent to any other individual. However there are still philosophical discussions on ‘What makes the Human Being a ‘Human Being’? which baffles me every time that people debate on finding all kinds of ways to prove why we are Not Equal and as such why we cant place ourselves under the same Umbrella such as the Universal Human Rights.  Needless to say this is just the beginning of a series of debates on the subject, ignoring the physicality of the matter that should be already more than self evident to all: we are all human beings coexisting in the same planet, same physicality, same basic requirements to keep ourselves alive –yet we don’t live with this recognition, we instead keep us all ‘unequal.’

 

  • Nations have agreed to implement the Declaration of Human Rights however some have decided to not to implement the ones on religious choice or women’s rights. An example is how in Islamic countries religion is not a choice or an option, it is a fundamental part of their culture and identity; the same happens with equal rights to men and women where women are meant to be considered in a lesser position in comparison/ relation to the male. In Uganda homosexuals are punished because of it being against their culture and traditions – thus particularities are created from this Universalism and as such, it is not realized by the global society that these are in fact violations that are permitted in accordance to the distinctive traits that each society wants to preserve above the Universal Application of Equal Rights.  These discrepancies can only exist when the ‘Human Being’ is understood as a social entity already shaped and molded according to Culture, Tradition, Family, Clan, Religion, Morals, Language, Race, Gender, Political affiliation, Sexual Orientation, civilizational Status – all of these aspects create differences that tamper the ability to recognize the physical and ethical universalism of being a Human Being, beyond political and social configurations that we adopt once that we start being acculturated and initiated in the process of socialization and education in this world – this is the process of separation and control.

 

  • The basic forms of Human Rights have been based on establishing freedoms as a positive based on a negative aspect – this means that they have not been clearly defined to be the declaration of equal recognition of who we are as life, but instead have been the outcome and result of having been imprisoned, killed, deprived from food, racism, religious indoctrination, etc. This is how we have Freedom from imprisonment, freedom from harm – freedom of thought, conscience and religion; there have also been freedom from oppression imposed by the sovereign which is odd in itself how individuals should have Human Rights to be protected by the government/ hegemon/ authorities that should be the ones caring after individual’s well being in the first place.

 

  • Even in countries where Democracy is applauded like Switzerland, Racism continues to be one aim amount the population to prevent Muslims from inhabiting their country – this is part of the religious stigma and economical reasons that would lead people to seek for better living conditions in countries where the best ones exist. Cultural and racial identification creates relationships of enslavement, physical, mental violence and abuse that generates new reasons for wars and separation, leading to the enforcement of social discrimination in which Equality is made to be seen as something near to impossible to be adopted by all individuals.

 

  • In history, Aristotle recognized the slave-master relationship wherein he explained that “the slave is a part of the master and their relationship is supposed to be natural due to having common interests” – also explained how some people ‘naturally’ don’t have rights, which is what justified slavery inflicted upon specific races which lead to ‘Biological Rights’ to counteract Racism. And this is part of our laureate philosophers of our ancient culture that are being read till this day.

 

  • The question is still asked ‘What makes us humans?’ which already indicate that there is still an inherent desire for humans to make some ‘more special’ by virtue of being pondered in some form of tradition, in a value system that each individual has in accordance to particular societies wherein their governors or kings are seen as superior than others, or where people of different races are seen as less than others – all forms of separation that stem from the categories, definitions, ideas, ideologies, religious doctrines and everything that exists as knowledge and information that separate us from the ability to recognize each other as equals.

 

 

Solution                                                              

  • Human Rights are the ethical and common sensical considerations that All States Accept Today – they have to be applied to all human beings in unison, by virtue of being part of Life from the moment we are born into this world.  They must be Human because it applies to every individual regardless of the state they currently belong to; this is the way to abrogate any civil conditions that limit an individual as part of a particular society, culture, religion, political affiliation, etc. It is the natural recognition of all individuals being born Equal as part of this world.

 

 

“The First Fundamental Human Right that the Equal Life Foundation Promotes and Underwrites is that: Every Individual, Every Human Being has an Equal Life Right. That means: the Life You Have is Equal in Each One at the Point of Birth. That which Separates Man from Man is What Happens After-Birth once your Education starts for instance or your Environment Influences you, your Parents Influence you or the System Influences you – then You Start becoming a Separate Individual and are Taught Not to Respect the First Point that Makes your Existence Possible, which is Life. Life – that is the One Thing that is the Same. You cannot say: “One Person Has More Life than Another Person” – that Life, as a Life Force, is the Same in Each One and thus is the First Fundamental Right.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

 

  • This is the biological and common sensical understanding of the Human Nature in Equality that must be recognized at a Constitutional Level, since it is based on the physical, natural and self evident fact that all human beings have an equal physical body that is the same in its main characteristics that embody the definition of Human Physical Body – this is our Human Nature. All secondary characteristics that are merely subject to particular cultures, nations, creed, race, gender are part of that which makes us individuals from the perspective that there are no two identical beings – not even twins –  yet we all require in a broad sense the same physical requirements to live in a healthy condition.

 

  • Life is Equal in all Individuals and all parts of this existence along with all other life forms like animals, plants and the resources of the Earth. However, because the human consciousness is what has created the separation in this ecosystem, it is only the human being that requires this basic understanding to ensure that we align to the natural order of his world that is a living being equal and one to who and what we are as part of it.

 

  • By integrating our Equal Right to Life, an Equal well being and living opportunities will be given and created for all without exception – this is the solution that will ensure that our current Capitalistic system stops catering for a minority and instead is aligned through the Equal Money Capitalism to Value All Life as Equal.

 

Rewards                                                              

  • Recognizing Equal Life Right to all human beings establishes the necessary Universal considerations that have been deemed as ‘too abstract’ because of a desire to ponder particularities above fundamental principles that makes us all equal human physical beings.This will enable every individual to understand and consider all social configurations based on religions, culture, gender, preferences, language, race, etc. as accidental and secondary points that must not interfere with the recognition of all Life being Equal in all living beings no matter ‘who’ they are at the eyes of a particular society, at the eyes of our minds wherein we will have to educate ourselves  to understanding, integrate and conceive human nature as this Equality of Life that exists in all of us by virtue of being/having and embodying a physical body that is the Life, the Self that is Equal and One in All Ways.

 

  • The end of misnomers, categorization and segregation of human beings around the world. The end of hatred, competition and deliberate abuse upon others because of ‘being different’ will be halted by all of us agreeing that a world in Peace can only be created by granting each other Equal Right to Life in the best living conditions – no harm, no abuse and our willingness to cooperate and live together to restore the dignity and honor that we have neglected to integrate as part of our day to day living – we begin with this process today.

 

 

 

 

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224. Cultivate Your Personality: Human Egoism gone Mainstream

 

Elitist Character: Cultivation of Personalities – Self Corrective Statements and Realizations.

 

When you realize how one is the product of our society but society exists as ourselves, as our mind projected as a conglomeration of individuals that attest to one another’s existence in a world where life is sold, you realize that invariably so nothing of ‘who you are’ can be real if it is only the accumulation of knowledge and information lived out as ‘who you are’ – therefore any desire to cultivate our wits, our egos, our characters can only exist if there is Money to perpetuate such selfish endeavor. That’s what we’ve become, that’s the foundation of our economy, of politics and any form of education that we’ve supported as our basic instilling of personality-cultivation in order to succeed above others – so, winners and losers were part of the scheme then? Yes, and giving to the least fortunate ones ways to entertain themselves with things like religion/ spirituality and entertainment. It’s rather difficult to go to a remote community – at least in this country – where people might live in poor conditions and not see a TV in their home, unless of course there is non of that at all and then we would be speaking about real people in real conditions that are absolutely out of our ‘scope’ of information that exists only according to what ‘the media’ presents us. Our reality has become as big as our screens and that’s as far as we’ve gone in terms of creating ideas of what life should be. Isn’t that the most limited form of existence? It is.

 

We’ve been watching lots of Derren Brown videos and I saw within myself how it is rather naïve how as humans we defend this arrangement of data as knowledge and information so seriously as ‘who we are,’ we walk throughout our entire lives to somehow ‘find a purpose in life’ without really ever getting any unless one makes it and lives it out. How could it be real if in one moment a person could forget who they are as in their own name, their entire history and ‘who they’ve been’ for others as well? Who have we been living for, is this accumulation of events with imprinted emotions and feelings everything that we are? Just pursuing some form of personal satisfaction and that’s it?

If a Killer can be made, then how come we’ve built our ‘fascinations’ around that which is carefully crafted to become just another form of entertainment for the masses? You can watch Derren Brown – The Experiments: The Assassin

So far we’ve lived that way – and it is in moments like this when everything is placed into perspective and I can see the petty battles to let go of people, things, preferences, the entire ‘who I am’ as self-definition, as if I had signed a contract to marry the artificial idea of myself. What’s more important within this all is how we walk our entire lives seeking a ‘meaning to life’ and that’s when we get lost trying to find meanings in people, spirituality, drugs, relationships, sex, money, glory in some form or way. Is that living?  Seeking and seeking and finding the next greatest thrill? No.

 

If everything we’ve become as our characters/ personalities ends at death, how could that be ‘real’  as part of who we really are? It can’t – it is real as long as we enact it as hypnotized characters playing out instructions given by the tell-a-vision, but I’ve also proven to myself how I can stop following along with characters in one moment and within that it’s like an actor revealing he’s only an actor in the middle of a play = breaks the spell of whatever emotional-feeling continuum is taking place. Do I feel more dead? At times it may seem like that simply because I had defined everything I was to a constant and continuous energetic experience, just like I programmed myself to come home from school and get out of the intelligent-well-behaved-responsible character and become the other me that few people really knew and listen to music non stop and solace myself with images on the TV Screen. No wonder I chose images as a career, no wonder I came to be fascinated for the things I liked and no wonder till this day it’s been a process to stop generating any sense of energetic experience about all those things, however, they are only relevant as long as I allow myself to be ‘in character’ to perceive reality from such an energetic-visual scope of view, which is how I can realize then that

 

When and as I see myself reacting with an emotional or feeling experience toward anything/ anyone that I had defined and cultivated as part of my fascinations – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I can only create an experience if I allow myself to be ‘in character’ to react to people, words, music, pictures, colors in a particular way that I programmed myself to react accordingly to. Thus, I understand that every time I play the character, I am not here, breathing as my physical body, and that any sense of nostalgia for the past that I perceived as ‘freedom and expression,’ has only been a set of preferences as knowledge and information that was available to me according to my social-status and money situation, to which I added/ imprinted a positive experience to, as a way to compensate for the dread of the days as my routine that I had defined as dull while growing up – missing out the actuality of living because all I knew was what I had and what I would see people would ‘live out’ as a meaning of ‘living’ – which is what was linked to libertinage, ‘expression’ in outrageous ways that were only possible due to money.

 

When and as I see myself seeking some form of stimulation either through visuals or sounds and or music videos for that matter in order to ‘relive’ an experience of the past – I stop and I breathe. I realize that I can hear the music however be breathing and enjoy it for a moment here, without downloading all the plethora of past-times as memories that I had programmed myself to always ‘remember’ in order to believe that ‘my life had been a Life’ according to the amount of knowledge, information and experiences I would be able to store as a point of self definition, as the character that I had committed myself to live-as for the rest of my ‘life,’  and I realize that none of that in fact defines who I am as all of that is not existent here when I am breathing in every moment as the physical being that I am.

 

 

When and as I see myself wanting to get a ‘fix’ of entertainment as I used to whenever I reach a point of dread within myself and seek to go to the ‘past’ as visuals, sounds, pictures to get that experience, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I have programmed myself to be constantly having a point to ‘look forward to’ in my life in terms of events, situations that would generate a certain ‘positive experience’ within me, and in this, never really living at all, but only perpetuating the basic mechanisms of self-indulgence wherein all that I cared for was ‘myself’ and that’s it. Nothing else mattered and no one else mattered but me, my entertainment, my infatuations, my own character evolution to get to be who I wanted to be, get the people that I wanted to be with and have everything that I had deemed as ‘my happiness’ – while doing everything I could to continue cultivating my personal satisfaction while In-Character.

 

I realize that if I had been a kid in a situation of poverty, I would have not known at all of any of the things that I became infatuated with, as well as those that I sought to deliberately oppose/ antagonize as a form of self definition. I Realize that the CULTivation of Personalities is only existent as a convenient entertainment mechanism in order to maintain individuals within this internal and external pursuit of happiness, while  maintaining and supporting the configuration of society  in a way wherein such happiness can be bought through products, artifacts, and expressions that are also the result of the same limited view upon life, which makes us ponder: how in any way could we speak about culture being important to humanity if everything that it’s been based on is  existent within this limited scope of who we are as Our Minds as the ‘intelligence’ that we believe is superior to all other beings while neglecting the reality that we are as our very own physical bodies and physical reality that is here regardless of us ‘thinking’ about it?

 

I see, realize and understand that I fell for the trick to ‘cultivate my personality’ and enter within a secret race to be the best, the most original/ authentic/ outrageous/ intelligent being that could be glorified for this lifelong achievements of accumulating knowledge and information within particular ‘sectors’ in our reality defined as ‘culture’ and within that, be recognized as ‘someone’ more than the rest, which indicates that everything that I made myself keen on was always having a point of self interest that lead to the same cultivation, accumulation and ‘capitalization’ of myself as a character that could be sold to any corporation or cultural institution as an ‘eminence’ for having had such a ‘fascinating innate taste for arts’ which was in fact not so, I did it all myself of course in an attempt to create a sense of specialness within me when compared to my peers – and that was it.

 

When and as I see myself seeking to validate my past according to what I know, what I own, who I have been, the people I’ve met, the places I’ve been to, the preferences I cultivated, the ‘achievements’ I had in order to create an idea of ‘having lived a life,’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that all of that can be gone in one second and still would not define ‘who I am’ at all, as who I am is here  as the physical body that is not defined any longer by a past lived as a series of characters shaped, formed, molded and adapted to what the entire configuration of our society/ world-system is based upon.

 

I realize that every time that I am able to stop myself from perpetuating the past as who I am in every moment, I am able to stop feeding the characters and the entire world-system wherein we always would end up seeking/ asking for ‘more’ in one way or another – hence it is a red flag point: when and as I see myself seeking for ‘something’ or ‘someone’ to get  a sense of fulfillment going into memories and pictures/ experiences of the past, I realize that I am not here as breath, but that I am only seeking to relieve an energetic experience that I can simply decide to stop in one single moment and step out of the mind character to focus on the physical reality that is here for me to participate in.

 

I commit myself to expose how culture as we know it has been the key to create a sense of ‘pride’ and ‘superiority’ as species within humanity wherein we’ve only elevated our egos to semi-god statuses for having being able to create such ‘marvels’ that we’ve defined as artistic expressions, but, has any of that in any way really supported who we are as physical living human beings? No.  Hence the necessity to stop deifying ourselves as our own grandiose life-stories of past events as ‘who we’ve been’ and start committing ourselves to get educated on everything we’ve missed and neglected while being infatuated and occupied in cultivating characters of limited and contrived expressions that were meant to be sold to the greatest bidder, feeding a system of abuse and greed as the highest acts on Earth.

 

I commit myself to clarify how none of our current ‘fascinations’ or cultural fetishes would exist if there was no media apparatus within our world-system, and that we would not have been continuing seeking for more and more ways to exploit this ego-social system, if we had not all been ‘globalized’ through our current means of communication which should and must exist for the purpose of getting to know each other, support each other to stop existing as characters that consume life, get to a point of self realization of the responsibility we hold toward each other and our reality and all the beings that we’ve affected the lives of in our path to this egoification of reality, and start living a process of self-correction in order to recognize once again what to Live in fact a  life in Equality.

 

What’s the point in feeding each other’s obsessions but a form of emotional/feeling dependence that leads us all to a point of madness in reality, the moment we’re not able to continue fueling and fulfilling such paltry experiences that exist Only in our minds. I Look at the reality that we’ve become: the media, the showbiz, the money biz, the politics, the laws, the culture, the insanity and all of it is simply pointing out: Red Flag, this is about to crash and burn, step out of it as soon as you can – however, we cannot step out/ escape from the system because we are it to the extent wherein it is stored in our very flesh and muscle tissue in our physical body, still defining who we’ve become until we decide to completely walk a process of self forgiveness and self corrective application in order to stop participating in such self-conditioned ways of ‘living’ which have never been life in fact.

 

The current dissatisfactions, frustrations, voids and giving up experiences that lead us to seek more ‘exciting ways’ of entertaining our lives, is only an elitist act that we ‘e indulged ourselves in as an actual luxury of being able to evolve our characters with weirder and more ‘specialized’ preferences as long as we have the basic needs at our reach. If we had no money, our lives would be different, I would not be writing here about me and my glorious past, but would be working 16 hours a day to make a living in the poorest conditions – or maybe even worse. And this is how it is only us that have the time and resources that must make a stand to stop feeding any form of self-consumption through the glorification of the go, but instead form part of the solutions required to be implemented in this world, wherein the lives of the people that Do have to work 16 hours a day is no longer part of the enslavement that we’ve accepted and allowed and neglected while pursuing our own happiness – it is our responsibility to speak up for those that Really in fact don’t have a voice.

 

Is ‘culture’ something that is available to All human beings? No – hence can it represent humanity in any way? No.

 

We’ve been liars and deceivers building a rosy type of reality upon the actual suffering and abuse that billions of beings are going through on a daily level – yet we filled our lives with depressions, fascinations, anger, frustrations, boredom and dullness as well as self hatred for being having just about a perfect normal life with little to worry about in terms of physical well being. It reveals to what extent we’ve taken life for granted, and to what extent we have only lived as characters in our minds, disregarding everything and everyone else.

 

I commit myself to expose the realities we’ve ‘lived’ at an individual level from the starting point of self-importance, self-interest and the ultimate cultivation of our own ego to remain divided and secluded in our pursuit-of-happiness bubbles we’ve defined as ‘our lives’ and ‘who we are.’

 

This is not living. Yet we are alive as our physical body breathing here can indicate us – hence there is some serious self-reflection to do in order to align ourselves to a physical definition of ‘Living Life’ and In Fact start focusing on that which requires our immediate attention, dedication and intervention, to first wake up from these mass hypnotic act we’ve all participated blindly in, and start waking each other up and step into the realization that: nothing and no one will change if we keep quiet about this, about what we are now realizing has been a lie supported by all and affecting all equally to detrimental positions that we are currently living in.

We are the only ones that can stop ourselves in every moment that we decide to breathe instead of being in character and focus on that which actually matters in our own individual realities and the world as a whole – it is only through deliberate care that we can in fact step out of the mass-media conditioning we’ve adopted as our ‘lifestyles,’ and realize that we can only continue living if we snap out of our own mass hypnosis and care to become actual living breathing beings.

 

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Equal Money System – to support all beings equally as Life

 

Tunnel Vision – 2012

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97. Words as Elitism

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value the way words can be arranged to express as ‘more’ or ‘less’ than myself according to aesthetic values according to how many evocations do I get when reading words, wherein I became used to valuing words as ‘special’ and ‘unique’ according to the type of pictures and experiences I was able to create within myself when reading them, within this using words in self-interest only, seeking to satisfy a aesthetical aspect of communication wherein no living principle was existent, but only using words as a means to entertain myself and get a sense of pleasure from reading what I defined as ‘well-written expression,’ never ever considering how words themselves were already an imposition upon life and that with me creating an experience of language and the written word itself, I separated myself even further from the words as myself through creating experiences through words, wherein words then became the way for me to live through the words/ eyes of others as authors, just because I was not willing to live my own life and as such, becoming a book worm wherein I knew that I would not have to face the world and create relationships with other human beings, but create my own ‘living’ through reading stories to entertain myself with, forgetting about reality in its totality in a deliberate manner.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to praise literature as something ‘magnificent’ just because of the experiences I was able to obtain from words in my mind, without realizing that in no way has any book supported humanity to actually start taking into consideration how words themselves have been used as a means to distract ourselves from living, from realizing how we are the very creators of a world and reality wherein a minority is having the ability to Read words, to get education to be able to read and even more so, have money to later on buy books/ written words as a means of entertainment or so-called ‘education,’ without ever even caring to first ensure that every human being could have access to proper food, water, shelter and a dignified living – including education – and then focus on developing ‘culture’ such as books and all forms of entertainment and ‘education.’ Instead we simply made ourselves believe that we were in fact able to ‘evolve’ as species with our intellectual realms of books and science and culture within the elite reality of one third of the world only, while the rest as the 2/3 were deliberately ostracized and minimized into a reality of poverty and absolute lack, where a book would mean fuel for a fire due to lacking any proper services to live. Within this, realizing to what extent when being brought up in a particular cultural context within the world system of money, we do not even question how it is that ‘our culture’ is based on money and how the very use of words and appreciation thereof is an elitist activity that is in fact a smack on the face of those that have no money to live, which means they have no education to ‘indulge’ into the ‘joy of words’ that I would solace myself with as a means to only cult.ivate my own self interest of ‘culture’ and ‘intellectualism’ that I was aiming at becoming, remaining behind a bunch of pages for extended period of time just because of not wanting to actually get out into the world and dare to see the reality that we are busy destroying due to this extreme egotistical versions of ourselves wherein we do not give a damn about one another, but only seek to live the most comfortable hedonist lifestyle at the expense of those that must work as slaves for us to have such comfort.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to deliberately praise people that would write in what I would define as a ‘gifted manner,’ without even questioning what the hell I was imprinting into myself through reading stories for my own pleasure and satisfaction, never realizing how these same words were being used to create laws and regulations that have denied the most basic human rights to living beings – within this never pondering how my apparent ‘love for words’ was in fact sheer self interest and self-indulgence within a small bubble of ‘human creativity’ that used words for mental masturbation, without seeing how the very system we live in is separated by god, the words we speak and as such we have attempted and tried to play god through sentencing ourselves in ways wherein some can have ‘the power’ over others, where only a minority can use words as way to sentence life or death through our constitutions, laws and policies that we have simply neglected to become aware of, simply because that would imply having to realize that we have all been equal participants in this world as it is, and that it is in our deliberate ignorance and disregard for politics as the judicial and legal systems as well as economics that we have instead opted for the ‘friendly’ use of words such as for books as literature, entertainment and even so-called education that was only directed to perpetuate the same ways of a system that has never valued life – hence words have only been used as a means to exert power and control over life, never ever supporting who we really are as an actual means to communicate and ensure living-conditions for one another, because words are also currency.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the parasitical side of the system wherein through and by me having money at this very moment makes me part of the evil of humanity that has rejoiced and even having the luxury of deciding in what ways I can use words to suit me, to make myself more ‘knowledgeable’ and ‘special,’ without even pondering if such ability is available for al as equal as one – and within this, not having realize how that which is simply ‘common’ for me such as having a computer to be able to type, having the education to be able to write and read, having had the luxury of knowing a second language in a written and spoken manner are all indicators that I have simply been part of the minority in a world that praises knowledge and information as ‘more than’ ourselves, wherein I myself also sought to be part of the ones that could praise each other according to ‘how well’ or how ‘articulate’ we could be, without ever really delving into the question: What are these words in fact implying upon reality? What am I really experiencing when and as I read words that are ‘well written’ according to the standards that I have trained myself to conceive? Is what matters really the way that words are written or is it what they are SAYING as an actual expression of self? Yet because all I knew was of myself being a mind that would enjoy emotional and feeling experiences, everything I could read that would stimulate this preference/ like would become part of my reality as an ‘acceptable’ and ‘higher form of entertainment,’ taking pride in the so-called culture we get from books, without realizing what is behind this very ability to ‘cultivate’ myself while others in the same world have no ability to read or write, nor even eat.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to ever question the pleasure and enjoyment I get from reading words wherein it is not about the words themselves, but about who I am toward particular words that become particular characters that I am ‘fond of,’ which is a way that I would always indicate that I idolized a particular writer/ lyricist whose words I could use to create my own mind experiences as a means of entertainment, diverting myself from my own living reality and experience, and getting used to entertaining myself with words and words and words as a deliberate way to escape from the world behind pages, and having this as something ‘acceptable’ just because it is culturally praised to be a ‘book worm’ as someone ‘intellectual’ which is once again, placing more value onto knowledge and information that exists as a very tool of separation which is how words are currently existing in our reality.

 

When and as I see myself getting an experience of pleasure and satisfaction as a positive energy experience from reading words, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this can only be possible because I have money and I learned how to read, I had enough experiences – bought with money as well – that I could imprint as memories within me from where I could create a point of fulfillment and satisfaction that I then associated with particular words, to later on being able to read such words again to re-live that positive experience that I would get from words in separation of myself.

 

When and as I see myself praising knowledge and information in the form of books, intellectuals, written words that evoke a sense of fulfillment and perceiving them as ‘more’ than myself – I stop and I breathe – I realize that I had been easily drawn to expression in itself as a way to satisfy my ideals of perfection and ‘self improvement’ based on the ability and skills to use language as a way to make myself special or distinct, without even ever considering how this is just an elitist hobby that is in no way equally existent for all beings in this world.

 

Hence I commit myself to re-establish words as tools to create and direct ourselves in every moment as the expression of self-correction at the moment, wherein Words as Self-Forgiveness become the keys of ‘like cures like’ wherein if our words have been the very imposition toward our reality as a means to have ‘control’ and ‘power’ over it, we make of words our tools to give ourselves back to ourselves and equalize such words as who we really are as an expression of life, wherein no specialness and no discrimination is able to exist ever again by the same ‘power of words.’

 

I commit myself to become part of the people that will educate oneself and others to stand in an equal position of understanding words as ourselves, as I can then direct this that once was my ‘passion’ as words to equalize the understanding of myself as one and equal as who and what we really are as words that can reconstitute and for the first time establish a living principle on Earth in all ways, which is Equality as Life.

 

This thus implies that I walk my own process of Self-Creation as words that are able to be directed in a way that we can all equally convey our expression of oneness and equality through a process of first, walking our own mind as the realization of who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become through the separation of words as ourselves, to then walk the process of Self-Forgiveness, Self-Honesty, Self-Reflection and Self-Corrective Application in order to construct life as ourselves as the very words we decide to live and the words that we decide that we will no longer keep as they only stood as a form of separation from self here as one and equal.

 

I commit myself to establish the Equal Money System wherein education will be founded upon the principle of Life in Equality, wherein words become the primary tool to show and demonstrate our equality and oneness and the responsibility each one of us holds with how we use words, to ensure that we are all equal participants standing in equal understanding of how reality works, of how our minds works and how we sentence/ create ourselves as the very words we speak.

 

I commit myself to become aware of every single words that I write or say as a means to express the corrective process I am walking here and as such, ensure that I correct my expression into equalization as life in every moment of breath that I am able to give myself to practically become aware of who I am as every moment of expression here.

 

I commit myself to use words as a means to take responsibility for what I create as words and humble myself through walking a process of Self-Forgiveness for I see and realize what I have accepted and allowed myself to become through and as the very existence of words in separation of ourselves as life.

 

“I commit myself to SHOW that those Promoting Understanding of the MIND, have NO Clue how in Fact Functions – Step by Step – and that One Should Only Participate in any Process where you Will Become the ONE that Understands in Detail How you Created yourself in Every Way, as is Taught in the Desteni I Process.” – Bernard Poolman *

 

 

For more support to understand who and what we are as words, visit Desteni and the Desteni Forum

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Reptilians – Language: the Sceptre of Creation (Part 1) – Part 70
Reptilians – Language: the Sceptre of Creation (Part 2) – Part 71
The Soul of Money – How Illusion became Reality – Part 27

 


Day 41: “Knowledge is Power"

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to deliberately become a knowledge-seeker wherein I deemed that I could get to be ‘worthy’ through accumulating knowledge and information that would enable me to ‘judge the world/ others’ with sufficient ‘cause’ as I had equated knowledge = power as power over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately accumulate knowledge as an ‘attribute’ that I CULTivated in order to be able to ‘worth’ myself according to the accumulation of knowledge and information that I used as ‘ammunition’ in order to be able to always have answer to everything, and within that, being able to ‘win’ at all times for giving the correct answer and feel ‘good’ about myself – in this

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to program me to become a knowledge and information sponge in the name of my personal benefit wherein I ‘knew’ that it would then not matter that I wasn’t accepted according to being a ‘suitable image’ in society, but I could be recognized, valued and worthy according to the knowledge and information that I decided to accumulate as a long-term inversion, wherein I could then get to ‘win’ over others through such knowledge and get people to value me and admire me according to the amount of knowledge and information that I could accumulate throughout my lifetime in my desire to become a ‘knowledgeable person’ that would be respected for ‘always having a bright opinion’ as the idea of who I wanted to be, as the one that could write about others and in that, having power even over those that were creating original-works (in writing/ art) as I could then use the ‘power of knowledge’ as words in order to either bash them = make my ego grow through feeling good about ‘bashing another with knowledge and information’ – or enhancing their ego through using knowledge and information to validate and justify their work according to my own knowledge and information reference.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that without knowledge, I would be a ‘no one.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for ever having suffered because of realizing that I had spent a long time accumulating knowledge as my own ‘inversion’ that could give me some profit in the future, as I expected and had directed me to become a ‘critique’ of reality, arts, culture and in that, thinking that I was ‘on the right path’ because of all the amount of knowledge and information that I had filled myself up with while growing up.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continue perpetuating a system that is basing a child’s education only on knowledge and information in various ‘sectors’ that are in no way considering that the skills and abilities of each human being differ, and that knowledge and information without actual application is useless.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed my role/ position as being a ‘opinionated person’ that could bring up knowledge and information as a means to create an ‘impact’ that could place me upon others and in that, getting my positive experience for being praised whenever my teachers would say ‘oh you always have the answer’ or ‘what Don’t You know’ which would always place me in a position of mixed embarrassment and feeling good for taking that as a compliment, which means that I would mask the ‘good feeling’ with a ‘negative experience’ in order to not seem as conceited with knowledge toward my fellow classmates.

 

I forgive myself that I ever allowed myself to take for granted every breath that sustained my personal pursuit of power through knowledge in place, using my physical body as a container of data that I could access whenever I would get the opportunity to ‘dazzle’ someone with my ‘wits’ and ‘win’ over something/someone by ‘knowing the right answer,’ which is how I allowed myself to become only a single personality that accepted that ‘being intelligent’ and ‘knowledgeable’ was ‘my place in society,’ and deliberately neglected any other activity that had nothing to do with arts, culture, books, intellectualism at its finest, within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deify myself as knowledge and information – which is energy of/ as the mind – and defying my own physicality every moment that I gave my power away to thinking and seeking to be ‘more knowledgeable’ believing that the ‘answer to life was there,’ and never considering my very own breathing-ability as the real life-giver, despite the evidence that knowledge and information and all intellectual in this world have only done one thing: thinking about the world, not living.

 

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to feel like the ‘queen of the world,’ when winning spelling contests and ‘beating males’ in the contest, as that apparently made me ‘super intelligent’ and making me feel better for having ‘them’ below me, which gave a specific sense of power as the knowledge and robotic task that spelling represents. I realize that the moment that I sought to win, I was fully participating in the same pursuit of triumph that I have cultivated my entire life, and that has been linked to me wanting to be recognized and valued according to the knowledge an information that ‘I possessed’ as a way to be recognized within society for that, as I deemed that I only was ‘good at’ mind-related work, but not physical world – and yet believe that I was ‘on the right track’ because

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perpetuate a world-system wherein knowledge is paid more than actual physical work, which is a point that I have criticized of the system as to why people that are above in the hierarchies are paid extensive amounts of money, while only giving orders and sitting around all day – while people that would do the actual work to keep the money system in place get paid close to nothing, which I deemed as ‘absolutely unfair’ yet, I was aiming at becoming a part of the people that earn a lot of money for thinking and not doing much, which proves the double standards that exist when one thinks that ‘my job is to have opinions about reality and intellectualize it’ and nothing else, which is diminishing my entirety to become nothing else but an archive of knowledge and information that has no practical-living experience, but only gets paid for/ is recognized by all knowledge and information that has been accumulated in order to be able to use it to ‘talk about reality’ without actually being a part of reality as in physically walking the world-system, but only staying at the comfort of my own mind that gets money out of thinking reality.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that whatever I could see in another was ‘the reality’ of such person, as all that I was seeing was their mind according to my own mind without really taking into consideration that all that we have ever been is the accumulation of manifested consequence as the effects of the primordial separation from who we really are as life into energy – which means that anything that I could perceive, believe and think another to be, is only me viewing myself according to my own ‘frame of mind’ as the frame that I have limited myself with to never Live, here as a physical being, but only live through/ as my own mind – believing myself to be the knowledge and information that I accepted as ‘who I am’ while growing up – within this, becoming my own set of knowledge and information in separation of  my physical body that doesn’t require to be judged/ assessed/ defined/ given adjectives to in order to exist.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to stand in front of the mirror and judge my body through the eyes of the mind as the eyes of that energetic consequence of separation form myself as my physical body, which implies that I would always see me as ‘not good enough’ / ‘flawed’ because of who I had accepted and allowed myself to be and become as ‘my own mind’ – within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard every single cell that allows me to breathe, to move, to drink, to eat, to walk, to interact with my environment wherein all of this time I had deemed it as just ‘dead flesh,’ which is an absolute insult as the only thing that can end up dead is the physical consumed by my own continued and deliberate participation in the mind. I realize that the ability to direct myself as my mind is absolutely possible – therefore, I allow myself to stop thinking and simply approach my own body for the physicality that it is, instead of diminishing it to being subject of my own judgments that exist only in the righteousness of who I am as my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become self-righteousness based on the certainty that ‘who I am is my mind’ and thus, cultivated my own mind in order to make of it a long-term investment that I could later on ‘use’ as a means to obtain money/power in this world as an ‘intellectual’ which was part of the aims I had toward my life, wherein I certainly abused my body due to using it only as a knowledge-carrier and allowing me to simply exist to deify knowledge and information, while neglecting and separating myself from every breath that I took for granted throughout my life.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ever invest endless hours improving my own mind as to be able to ‘judge’ reality with proper tools and ways to always ‘win’ and have ‘the ace’ under my sleeve – which means that everything that I CULTivated throughout my life was consuming knowledge and information that I kept/ stored in the future projected belief that ‘I will someday need it’ and in that, locking myself into the future as knowledge and information, while neglecting my very physical body and taking every breath for granted, because all I ever thought myself to be was ‘a thought,’ an idea/ image/ presentation toward others only  – where was I? Lost in translation, accumulating knowledge and information that could apparently make me ‘more’ and ‘more worthy’ than others. In this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate knowledge and information as a means to always have ‘the answer’ and having stored it in means of always being able to ‘win over others’ which means that I trained myself to become nothing else but a lie-brary of useless knowledge and information in order to always ‘be right.’

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to become a knowledgeable elitist or intellectual, wherein I sought to satisfy my own personal enjoyment of talking to ‘like-minded people,’ which means that all I wanted was another pair of ears and mouth in order to regurgitate the same knowledge and information that I was fond of,  and call that ‘affinity’ and ‘same interests,’ when in fact the only interest was me asserting ‘who I am’ as my own mind, as my own set of knowledge and information that I then created an energetic experience toward whenever another is able to relate to it, which means that anything that two people may have experienced – apparently- about another was in fact only about self as the mind getting confirmation from another mind on similar self-created programming.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to develop kinship toward specific people in my world according to how I had judged them as ‘knowledgeable,’ ‘intelligent’ and ‘well read,’ which were qualities that I actually thought about myself, but never accepted it as ‘who I am’ out of wanting to be ‘humble,’ and in that, simply seeking to be part of a group/ circle in society that is only looking at the intellectual aspect of reality, philosophizing and having endless conversations about how ‘know it all’ we were – and Not focusing on the actual reality, which is how I became absolutely oblivious to the world for quite some time, while seeking to CULTivate knowledge as CULTure in the name of personal power.

 

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to only get along with those that had similar mind-cultivation and egos, which means that I sought and aimed to ‘get my spot’ in society along with ‘like-minded people,’ which is the foundation of separation and elitism through only becoming a part of the social-networks that we want to be a part of based on who we are as our mind, instead of regarding life as the physical practical living as the actual bond that can be in fact extended toward any other human being, by virtue of realizing that we all have the same body, the same systems inside in common which makes us all equally dependent from the Earth to live – within this, realizing that knowledge plays only a role of self-definition in means of separation as a way to continue competing and believing that ‘there is not enough for all, we must excel to be able to get it all’ – and in that, agreeing to only be the rats in the cage that always seek power, self-gratification and apparent ‘control’ over others through ‘knowing more/ better.’

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see how I have never in fact lived a relationship with another, nor myself as all that I had deemed myself to be was my personality, my ego as my beliefs, ideas, preferences and general ‘view’ upon life, which is knowledge and information that I absorbed through my parents, through school, teachers, classmates, TV, family members which are the places wherein I asserted ‘who I am’ only as a daughter, a student, a cousin, a niece, a friend and growing up with the same idea of myself according to such social roles, plus the ‘professional role’ which is what I decided to be/ become based on wanting to continue satisfying my own ‘exclusivity’ of ‘who I am’ as knowledge and information, which means that the choices I made in life were only based on self-interest according to what I wanted to be and become based on ‘who I am as my mind,’ and never ever actually considering ‘How can I prepare myself to become a being that supports the environment/ the world-system to become a best-for-all outcome where life can be unconditionally supported?

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge others for their ‘career choices’ in life wherein I never dared to question myself and my career choice/ choices in life due to me being simply hoping and dreaming that the world would end and I would not have to study/ become someone in the system – and/ or simply hoped that I could become someone ‘famous’ in the art world and suddenly be having enough money to live well without a regular job – yet neglecting taking all the practical steps for that, and as such only existing as a believer and hope-keeper that ‘good fortune’ could come my way out nowhere, which is the consequence of having always only thought about reality, but never actually living it.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to judge that I always ‘was right’ and everyone else was simply ‘wrong,’ wherein I allowed myself to live a life of a ‘secret agent’ of my own Secret Mind, wherein I developed a constant paranoia of fearing that people would always only approach me out of convenience, and not genuinely approaching me because they appreciated/ wanted to spend time with me – without realizing that in a energy-seeking reality, all actions are directed through/ as energy – wherein only if we remain here in every breath through and while directing ourselves with others, can we say that we have in fact heard /interacted / communicated  – otherwise, it is simply another ego-inflation machine that is only viewing everyone as ‘enemies’ and potential ‘threats’ to ‘who I am’ as my own mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and perpetuate a world system wherein people are divided according to the knowledge and information they possess, which is another form of control and instigating survivalist-fears according to ‘not being well educated = less chance of making’ it through’ which means that we have valued an education as knowledge and information above the right and ability to have a dignified life that all should be endowed with by virtue of birth – wherein those that never had access to knowledge and information that is remunerated as ‘education’ within this world are simply numbed out of the equation within this reality wherein ‘the more knowledge you accumulate = the wealthier you (can) become.’

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to spite my own life with pursuing a profession wherein an actual practical interest to make this world a better place for all was never part of my plans, as I always sought to do it ‘my way’ wherein I could have all the ‘right intentions’ to do so, but never considered entering the system and changing it from within, which proves how through knowledge I valued and thought that I could ‘make it’ without having to really work on it and become a part of the mechanism that can change the way things work/ function in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Not question why and how come we as humanity in a world system value knowledge and information above life, wherein out education is based on acquiring knowledge and information that prepares us only to perpetuate the same system of knowledge and information that gets remunerated as a way to sustain our own ‘ideal’ of reality through money, which is having “created” a reality based on thin-air, just like our current monetary system that is based on knowledge and information, but not on actual physical living that considers all life in equality.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that it is through knowledge that I separated myself from the realization of who I am as one and equal to another, as knowledge is assessing others in separation of myself, while neglecting the very substance that we are all equally made of, that doesn’t require to be ‘defined’ and ‘assessed’ in separation of myself, but simply self-realized as who and what I am as oneness and equality of life.

 

I commit myself to stop any form of disregard toward the very breath that I take in the name of becoming only knowledge and information that can be ‘valued’ by my own mind and ‘others’ minds as ‘who I am.’

 

I commit myself to stop placing any form of worth and value toward another and myself based on the knowledge that I/ others possess, which is the very first step to get out of my mind and into the physical body that doesn’t require knowledge and information to function and nurture itself, it simply requires me to support myself at a physical level, using knowledge and information that is practical and supportive in the immediacy of its application.

 

I commit myself to stop the war against my very own body, my very cells,the entire conglomeration of beings that I have disregarded at all times while focusing on improving my grey matter of brain that I deemed is ‘who I am’ and valuing myself only as knowledge and information which is in fact, that which will cease to exist – as knowledge can never be life.

 

I commit myself to prove that no knowledge and information has made a difference in this world and that it has only created and perpetuated the ‘gap’ and difference between humans beings according to ‘who we are’ as a mind that is able to accumulate knowledge and information as an inversion that gets rewarded in this world system where money rules and the physical is only abused to keep perpetuating such fallacy.

 

I commit myself to expose how knowledge and information is sectarianism in society as it exists now, because we have denied the ability for all to have equal quality education, which means that knowledge must be a practical means to support life in Equality and this must be the basis of a new educational system that can be beneficial for all beings equally.

 

I commit myself to create a world-system that values LIFE only and uses only knowledge and information as a means to give and receive what’s best for all, which means that life won’t be at the service of knowledge any longer, but stand equal and one at the service of life, wherein no more hierarchies are created out of ‘knowing’ because there won’t be any special reward toward knowledge, but simply using it as a means to benefit humanity and improve the quality of living in all ways.

 

I commit myself to expose about this reality being our own crafted mind control wherein we have valued knowledge and information above life and how it is imperative to stop supporting the same mechanisms of conflicting reality within our minds and instead, getting into practical living reality where physical living solutions must be integrated as part of any form of education that is truly aiming at creating a world system that works for all in equality.

 

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What you are in your mind won't pravail - wake up

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Day 35: Golden Corpses for Sale

In a world where surgically removed stillborn babies are roasted dry and covered in gold leaf to then be trafficked and sold for £4,000 for any form of ‘good luck’ amulets/ rituals/ spiritualism, can we expect our fellow human beings to let go of beliefs that are sold in the most obscure ways? Can we redeem our insanity as species? Do we respect Life or do we value more Money than Life? Or is it Beliefs that we truly value the most? Are we all equally participants of this that we might believe is absolutely gruesome?[1]

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a living species that is willing to sell anything in the name of ‘good luck’ and ‘good omen’ as a belief in order to earn money that will allow me to continue living in this world, without realizing that I have only enslaved myself to the monetary system the same way that I have created a belief about stillborn babies being of any ‘good luck’ within rituals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe or perceive that selling dead fetuses covered in gold can in any way have any ‘magical powers’ to bring good luck/good fortune, not realizing that all that I am asking as ‘good fortune’ is related to money and sex, as these are the two aspects that have become the drive within my every day living

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to traffic dead bodies and cover them with gold to make them more special than the dust of the Earth that they represent, wherein I am making money out of that which should be buried back on the Earth – but instead I’ve allowed myself to make money out of a single belief linked to Kuman Thong and a good fortune amulet, which is again, desiring money and power that can only exist in a system where life is not respected, where life is sold and where I can traffic with dead bodies to make money.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become a buyer of dead bodies/living beings for the sake of my own personal interest according to beings being of ‘good omen’ within my beliefs which I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see are absolutely delusional when it comes to asking for ‘good fortune’ by using beings as a means to do so, which implies that I have become an equal abuser that is willing to pay for dead bodies in the name of good fortune.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that I would not require to be selling/ buying living/ dead beings in order to make money within a certain religious/spiritual belief, if money was a given-right at birth, wherein I would no longer require to ask for ‘good fortune,’ which is translated to Money. I realize that I can instead of promoting beliefs in the name of waiting and hoping for a god/ energy/ source point to ‘give me good fortune,’ to actually Create it by Taking Self Responsibility for my world, the World-System as I see and realize that the opportunity to live in dignity is in my hands if I dare to stand up and let go of greed, beliefs and the desire to be powerful, as power can only exist if abuse exists.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make use of dead living beings for rituals in black magic, Santeria, animism and any other cult belief wherein the consecration of any living/ dead matter is used and abused as a means to obtain ‘power’ or any other apparent ‘good luck’ related charms, without realizing that all that has lead me to traffic life and death is only because of money not being a given-right to life, and I’ve resorted to make money and earn copious amounts of it by trafficking with stillborn babies as an ability to become part of the rare-item sellers that can produce for a selective group of people that are willing to pay for such items, due to their beliefs about them which have been created and instigated by fellow human beings throughout time.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create beliefs about charms and magical powers that any living being – including young children – have for rituals, spiritualism, spiritism, animism, black magic, Santeria – wherein abuse toward another being’s physical body is inflicted in the name of a godly-power, in the name of unseen spirits that are used as a way to justify abuse onto another being, which is then linked to ‘good fortune’ which can only prove the delusional traits that I’ve accepted and allowed to exist within myself in order to always ‘win’ and have the ‘best luck in the world,’ which is translated to Money and Sex – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create cults, religions, sects, spiritual endeavors in the name of bettering ‘human’s living condition’ which is often related to ritualistic abuse of the living matter in the name of money, power and personal satisfaction, which reveals that who I have accepted and allowed myself to become is a greedy being that is willing to kill, to sell dead bodies, to abuse young children, to kill animals, to torture beings, to force sexual acts, to denigrate a human being’s reality in the name of a ‘superior power’ as the ritualistic abuse that is conducted in the name of obtaining power/ control/ special gifts that are all based within the same belief system according to anything being able to be ‘more’ than who and what we already are as this physical reality that exists in equality – yet we have become so deluded that we are trafficking with dead bodies and covering them with gold to make them a ‘rare exclusive item,’ and in that placing such ‘rare exclusive item’ as an object of good-charms and personal power, which is proof of how insanity is able to be accepted as ‘normal’ if there is a religious background to sustain such belief

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see the abuse of living/dead beings in the name of rituals within spiritual/ religious contexts as a ‘tradition’ that is seen as acceptable and ‘okay’ because we have become the accomplices of these delusions in the name of ‘respecting people’s beliefs,’ which is proof of how we are willing to see the abuse of life and selling it in the name of greed and personal belief of super natural powers as something that is acceptable because it is a religious/ cult/ spiritual belief.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that living beings can in fact have ‘superior powers/ magical powers’ and create any form of positive/ negative effect upon others, which is equal to and one with the belief that we have created the current system wherein money is the energy that allows us to have a positive or negative experience according to having/ not having it, which leads us to participate in the same system of abuse wherein selling corpses for money for ritual purposes is no different to selling any other living being for personal satisfaction, consumption and/or luxury item that is as promoted in our reality as any other religion would promote sacrifices as a way to obtain ‘more power’ over others.

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and realize that consumerism is a religion, and that any ritual behavior wherein life is sold is equal to and one with any other religious fanaticism that people believe cannot be changed/ stopped and is imperative to follow in order to obtain ‘good fortune,’ which is the same with how we all require money to exist and are willing to sell anything and anyone – including ourselves – in the name of money in order to survive, compromising each other to exist within cycles of abuse that are able to be stopped if we will ourselves to establish an Equal Life System

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to diminish fellow living beings to items that can be sold, which includes everything that we are consuming at the moment to eat, to wear, to move ourselves as I see and realize that everything that is keeping my current ‘lifestyle’ running, is based on being able to have money to buy and use life’s source to transform it into energy to continue living – yet doing this within a system wherein Life is being Sold – wherein we are all equally trafficking with selling life in the name of survival, which is delusional when seeing and realizing that we can actually create a solution for All equally in this world to be able to stop all deification of money, all ritualistic abuse,  all super natural beliefs that are all leading to personal power, to create a Living System wherein money becomes the representation of Life in Equality as a given right for all to be able to live in dignity and stop indulging into abusing life in the name of money/god.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people selling dead stillborn babies covered in gold leaf, without realizing that by me existing in this very same system that enables the ability to buy/sell living beings/life, I am equally responsible for this form of abuse that is the current ruling government in this world, which leads me to realize that any form of judgment that I’ve held toward ‘abusers’ is actually pointing out to myself that I have become an equal abuser by the single fact of perpetuating a system wherein Life can be sold in the name of personal power  = we all equally buy it, sell it and thrive upon abuse.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people’s beliefs as ‘extreme/bizarre’ and ‘absolutely abusive,’ without realizing that who I have become as a participant within our current monetary system is being one and equal to any person being able to make money out of selling life no matter ‘which way’ it is made – I see and realize that the same a stillborn baby covered in gold leaf is sold for personal power/ good charms, the same for a woman that sells her body for sexual services to make money to live, the same someone buys a car in the name of personal satisfaction/ power/ social status or simple mobility, which proves that we often disregard how everything is interdependent as a chain-massacre of abuse toward life the moment that we have all accepted and allowed money to become ‘the point’ that we all require to continue living in this world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abdicate my responsibility to create a world system of money that provides equal life for all, and instead support, instigate and be an enthusiast of beliefs that will apparently create ‘good luck’ out of nowhere, without having the least idea of how this reality works and how nothing can be brewed out of ‘nowhere’ in this reality, and within this neglecting the consequences that my desires and personal dreams create in this world, which is to the detriment of all living participants which includes myself, invariably so.

I commit myself to stop any beliefs of items/beings/ life having any form of ‘super natural power’ that can ‘heal me’ and make a more ‘powerful’ being, which is implying that I am not satisfied with myself here as the physical being that I am and that require basic sustenance, but instead want to ‘be more’ which can only exist as a delusional idea in the mind wherein atrocities toward life are daily perpetrated in order to satisfy a chain-need of personal satisfaction according to that which I can ‘buy’ to make my life better.

 

I commit myself to stop seeking any form of personal power/ wellbeing at the expense of other living beings which implies that, in order to do this, I must become part of the necessary reforms in this world to create an actual way to support all life in Equality, wherein beliefs are no longer a reason to abuse in the name of personal-improvement and power translated to money, but instead Life is dignified, respected and given and received as an actual realization that we can become beings that respect life as each other, and stop any form of abuse that was only held by the ability to make of life a lucrative business.

 

I commit myself to expose all rites, cults, spiritual fanaticism, deification of dead bodies and sacrifice of alive ones in the name of a spiritual/ religious beliefs and cultist behavior  instigated by the desire for personal power/ good luck which is and has become the driving force to accept any form of abuse in this world of which we are all equal participants the moment that we have endowed money with ‘real power’ over life, as a belief system wherein some can be/have ‘more’ than others according to the power to acquire life-resources to live and thrive in reality at the expense of others that cannot.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is only through an economical, social and political system based on Life in Equality that real well-being can emerge for all living beings, wherein religions, spiritual practices and any other form of cultist activity will cease to exist the way they do now, because it will be realized that there is no need to pray and abuse life to recreate rituals to obtain any form of ‘well being’ as it will be a birth-right to be supported to live and educated to understand how it is that any form of abuse of fellow living beings constitutes abuse toward oneself.

 

I commit myself to share myself and become part of the instructors of life that can allow human beings to step out of and stop participating in beliefs that have been inculcated and reinforced within particular cultures and traditions that never considered that a change in the world system is possible and that their current acceptance of spiritual/ religious beliefs is in fact a form of abuse toward life which is who they are as well.

 

I commit myself to promote information that can allow common sensical living realizations in various aspects of our day to day living reality as humanity,  in order to go re-educating ourselves into beings that start considering how our life will change the moment that Life is no longer a lucrative business, but given as an equal recognition of who we are as life, in Equality

 

I commit myself to promote the Equal Money System as the necessary reform within this system that will prove that abuse can only stem from the need to make money to live in this world – hence by giving Equal Money for All, we can begin establishing a primordial sense of Neighborism that should have always existed on Earth as a god-given right realization that Life is here for all, equally as one and that no one has the right to abuse it in the name of personal power.

 

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Day 10: Money and Politeness

 

As I walked the point of politeness as a positive experience within me and now that I am realizing to what extent everything that we have done/lived by has been linked to Money and the functioning of money in this world, I’ve seen how I’ve lived as a ‘polite person’ without identifying the actual positive ‘kick’ I would get out of it, yet this ‘attribute’ was linked to an inherent desire to be part of the ‘polite people in the world’ which, if reading back in my previous entry – were ‘well educated people’ that were mostly rich/ having more than enough money to live ‘well.’

 

This ties in with my choice of careers as well wherein my inclinations toward the world of ‘arts and culture’ lead me to believe that I had a more ‘refined’ taste than other members in my family who would not be any type of art enthusiasts or well-cultured in the usual ‘intellectual ways’ that I would deem people to be in such ‘social circles.’ So, when I began realizing that only a certain type of people was into art/ music and how they mostly were people with a certain education/ background that lead them to have such ‘refined’ tastes and views on life, I realized that I had to equate that, that I had to become part of such circles in order to achieve my desires/ dreams that I had formulated back then, which were pretty much linked to having enough money to travel around the world and the usual stuff that we dream of as young kids growing up into the ‘adult world.’

 

So these ‘refined manners’ were acquired from interacting with people outside of my family. I recall admiring people that were ‘well cultured’ and would express themselves with such a vocabulary that denoted they had read tons of books throughout their life. I would enjoy going to my aunt’s house for that reason, it was filled with books and we could go to museums and do stuff that I never did with my parents. The same when enjoying talking to their friends and also when being with parents of my friends and partner, they were all ‘well-cultured’ people, even teachers in literature and history and linguistics, which made me want to become part of that circle of people that would have dinners with wine while telling intellectual jokes and having some delicious Italian salad while eating nuts. If you have seen the movie ‘the hours’ I wanted to be like the character played by Meryl Streep, and somehow I would picture myself feeling equally empty even if I had achieved such ‘status’ in my world. But anyways, it was that ‘realm’ wherein I envisioned myself as being fulfilled.

 

What was the way to go there? Becoming equal and one to how I would see these people would behave, talk and experience themselves. So, I enjoyed reading from an early age and linked this to being/ becoming a cultured person, even if I read mostly fiction novels for most of the time.

There was also a time when I was a lot younger around 9 years old when I would attend these luxurious dinners with my parents wherein I got to experience what ‘being in society’ was, and how I was simply acting like a full grown up at that age. I would observe how everyone behaved and even though I knew the whole thing was a façade and really fake, I would play along trying to be charismatic to be equally liked/ accepted the same way that my sisters were. I guess that having a taste of what it means to have a ‘good life’ left a mark on me, even if at the time we were under extreme financial strain, all of those trips and luxury was paid for according to a certain position my father took for a while in a national organization. It was such an awkward experience because we did not have much money then, but we were in these pompous dinners and staying in master suites, literally stealing the room from rockstars staying in the same hotel. I guess that’s the most ‘taste’ I’ve had of what it is to have such luxury and comfort, as well as people praising you all of a sudden by association. Man, it is really something that ‘traps’ you for a while.

 

I guess that if I had not had such experiences, I would have not been aiming for such positions in a not so conscious way – or I didn’t want to fully acknowledge because of not wanting to be deemed as greedy. It’s cool to expose this as there is obviously so much that I held as an imprint on these trips wherein ‘the good life’ was suddenly my reality for a moment. That’s where I got the association of ‘polite’ as in being a ‘politician,’ because that’s how I identified the way that people at such conventions would act like/ interact with each other: in a polite, refined and ‘safe’ manner which is not being too ‘open’ yet not ‘too quiet’ as if there was a problem with you. I learned how having a constant smile made you being liked – I could not fathom why people would always say the same things to you ‘oh how pretty are you!’ It was a bit traumatic having to go through such disparity at such a young age, really. When coming back home after such events and trips – which were only two or three only during two years – it was like getting off of some really nice dream where you could ‘have it all’ and forget about all the actual financial troubles that my father was going through at the time, which I have shared and how it would also preoccupy me extensively as in fearing losing the house and everything.

 

So, to sum up, politeness was for me a way to establish and place myself on the track to become someone of ‘importance’ and in a certain ‘circle in society’ that I wanted to be part of, which was mostly the ‘intellectual circles’ wherein I could have enough vocabulary and presence to mingle with such people. That’s how both my career choices were linked to such cultural world, even after knowing that making a lot of money out of it would not be as easy – as I had initially thought. I got to admire mostly people that had written books already and that I knew I could ‘learn from’ in my attempt to become equal to them. And this all entailed having a secured-financial ‘freedoom’ while doing ‘what I like,’ which was either writing or creating art. I knew how being polite would lead you to get preferential treatment as well, and I sought that, creating a certain aura of power/ control and importance wherein I made sure people would ‘pay attention to me’ – yes.

 

Later on I went into the controlled opposite, but that’s another story wherein further suppressions were linked mostly in relation to judgments toward money – as I have briefly explained above. What I have walked here were dreams and desires that I had kept and was preparing myself for when I was in my early teens; I even thought of becoming a financial advisor just because of knowing how much money they would make, and all of those decisions were only based on desiring having a preferential position in the system wherein I could have enough money to travel around the world, as that’s what I really wanted to do or my ‘idea’ of what happiness in this world is about.

 

Now I have realized within the 23rd Interview by Anu how such elaborated words are definitely only for the ego of the intellectuals and it’s absolutely true – I mean, I created myself as that for the sake of belonging and making myself a space in such circles that I later on absolutely abhorred and almost completely ostracized myself from – going from admiring rich people and the power they had to opposing them and even blaming ‘them’ for the current status of the world, that’s been my life with money which I had not exposed to such extent from this money-perspective before. However I see how it is definitely the ‘missed factor’ that I probably withheld from sharing because of not wanting to be seen as greedy or superfluous/ self-interest driven person while acknowledging that we all are, and we all sought our ways into the system in one way or another. Everyone would enjoy having such financial comfort and power – even myself that later on tried to deny it can only recognize that I did, and ‘my dreams’ were based upon getting to a certain ‘state’ wherein I could write or do some works while having all time left to explore the world.

 

Well, it’s easy to dream and part of this entire process is to take all the points here back to Earth wherein I land myself on the ground to then see how a single seemingly ‘normal’ expression like being polite is in fact having all of this – and probably a lot more – behind it as a conditional input for me to express such ‘politeness’ as ‘who I am,’ which is linked to how I had defined myself according to the ‘social stratus’ that I wanted to be a part of within this world system.

 

I still have a lot of ‘points’ to sort out in relation to and toward money and my career and who I want to be and what must be one, mostly because of – as I mentioned before – going to the opposite polarity of judging rich people, judging the ‘power’ that some beings had to manipulate others because of money, judging the attitudes rich people would present while neglecting the fact that I had sought to be ‘just that’ as well. All of this while deliberately shoving off the reality that I knew and was well aware was going on in this world.

During this time, I managed to make of poverty and misery something that was just a constant part of my ‘landscape’ yet continuing to seek my personal fulfillment. I could have long talks with my then contemporaries that were sociologists and economists, literature people and talk about social policies and the government and whatnot, but we never ever had an actual definitive realization on how We were absolutely responsible for it. That would be yet another part of my ‘socialization’ wherein sitting in cafés talking for long hours would lead us anywhere, yet believing that we were ‘changing the world’ with our bright intellectual ideas and reunions. Lol

 

So – time for self forgiveness and self-corrective application to disengage from this politeness that I have separated myself from according to all of these memories that I’ve held within myself for the purpose of someday, being able to correlate/ cross-reference if I had ‘made it’ within this world system according to the expectations that I placed onto myself.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to make of myself a ‘polite person’ and allowing it to create an inherently positive experience wherein I became part of the ones that are looking forward to become part of a certain elite in this world, which in my case was the ‘intellectual/ well cultured’ people that can certainly only exist in a particular social stratus where money is affluent and where money is not a concern. Therefore, by me acting and playing out being the ‘polite person,’ I was in essence training myself to be part of the ‘polite world’ which I had linked to higher-social stratus of well educated/ well cultured people/ rich people/ intellectuals, because that’s what I wanted to be and ‘where I wanted to belong to.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to then create an inherent desire to be and become someone ‘superior’ within the social standards which is why I fed myself so much with knowledge and information as I had given value/ worth to knowledge and information as my ‘talents’ when realizing that I could make a living out of it and still get to an elevated social stratus wherein I could be financially stable and have more than that in order to have a life of luxury and traveling as the dreams that I had created in my mind while neglecting this reality in its entirety.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear losing all the relationships at an intellectual level with writers, sociologists, historians, linguists, and any other person that I deemed as ‘intellectual/ superior’ when I decided to step aside from that world and going into a more ‘noble’ and ‘meek’ path of not wanting to be part of the ‘high spheres in society,’ which came after a particular event that changed my view/ perspective about money and recognition and made a decision that ‘I didn’t want that for my life.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to want to be part of the ‘intellectual people’ as that’s what I gave myself value as, knowledge and information, accumulating data that I could later on speak about and be regarded as ‘important.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to play out being the ‘polite person’ among people that I wanted to ‘keep’ as relationships because of already being scheming me being part of such social-circles that I sought to be a part of, mostly because of regarding that I could make a load of money with it while doing something that I regarded as ‘humane’ as possible – which is culture/ words/ arts/ music, etc.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to increment my desire to know and prepare myself within specific careers simply out of the desire to accumulate as much knowledge as possible that I could ‘sell’ as my profession and earn good money out of it. In this I forgive myself that I had denied the fact that my life, my attitude, my politeness had been having money and the desire for money as an obvious drive in the background, while me denying so because in such realms, people seemed to be “humble” about their careers and knowledge – yet having a very affluent type of living, which I also desired to be like/ experience myself as: having money yet not being a ‘show off’ about it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link a proficient vocabulary to being a ‘well cultured person/ well educated/ refined/ well mannered/ polite’ which I have immediately identified as something ‘valuable’ within a person, which is identifying knowledge and information as ‘valuable’ on top of the one and only value that exists which is life and Life cannot ever be knowledge.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself for having ever criticized/ judged people on how they would place value in their possessions without realizing that I was doing the same toward myself as my own mind in the form of knowledge and information and creating a value toward myself according to it, separating myself absolutely from the one and only reality that is here as myself as my physical body, as life, the life that I absolutely neglected in such times simply because being too busy building myself and preparing/ scheming my way to climb ‘the ladder of success.’

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blind myself with believing that my parents were unconditionally supporting my decision in life, without realizing that they were ‘happy’ about it because I was aiming to be a ‘rich’ person or having more than enough money and that my aspirations and actions were leading to becoming this ‘important person in society,’ which is why they started reacting when I stopped creating/ forming relationships in society and retreated, because this was linked to me losing all contact with such ‘intellectual people’ and losing the opportunity to be ‘a part of them.’ Now I realize that it was linked to money, to securing my ‘place in the world’ that I also deemed to prefer above any other professions or activities in the world. I was ready to praise myself as knowledge and information only, which I now see is the absolute manifestation of self-interest because I never considered ‘life’ in that, at all.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to create and build myself within a particular personality wherein I made sure that people would ‘pay attention to me and give me a position of ‘importance’ even at face value, which was linked to my ‘scheming’ of positioning myself within a certain area in society that I could live ‘well’ of and still fulfill my desires to be someone ‘important’ in my world.

 

I commit myself to stand in a position in this world wherein I can truly make use of these attributes in a way that is best for all, because I see and realize that if I had personal interest as a driving force to be ‘preparing’ for such world, I could do the same now with having the starting point the absolute drive to support myself and all beings equally within a position within the world system wherein I no longer ‘fear’ it/ oppose it as some type of rebellion and antagonism stemming from criticism toward money/ power in this world. I realize that being in a position of power in this world cannot possibly exist within me unless I stand as one and equal to all – which means that whatever I have to do within this world system, I realize that I am perfectly able to do so, with having the starting point of doing/ living/ acting and creating myself as someone that can stand within the system to establish a system that is best for all life.

 

I commit myself to use these acquired ‘attributes’ and experiences as a point of reference to see and realize how I am capable of standing in a position that I had deemed as ‘superior’ yet now having a principle to actually stand for, which is life in equality and oneness – and not just following ‘dreams’ of fame, glory and success that I formulated in my mind which I knew would lead me to feel equally empty, because I obviously was not considering the whole in that equation.

 

I realize that the only true-fulfillment that I can create for myself is stemming from the standing and consideration of an overall well-being for humanity, that is my ‘true passion’ and as I got to know from some feedback at the farm ‘I’ve found my purpose in life,’ and the proof of this is that I had not been as consistent toward any particular ‘movement’ or ‘phase’ in my life as I have now within this process, because it is not just ‘another phase’ in my life of seeking my way into the system, it is The Phase and only phase wherein I dare to face myself and take self responsibility for my creation. And I realize that this entails actual work, actual self-commitment that strengthens every day the more I see, I realize and understand the extent to which we have enslaved ourselves to the absolute separation that stops here as myself.

 

Thus, I commit myself to stop any personal interest that stood only in the name of personal glory and success and instead use what is here as myself as a means to establish what is best for all in this world, which I hereby commit myself to walk into its completion as I know that I won’t ever be actually ‘fulfilled’ until this entire world is equalized as myself as who I really am, and for that there is Actual work to do and a long road to walk.

 

 

Suggested support:

An Interview on how when you really have it ALL and you then see yourself in the absolute opposite, your life changes, ‘who you are’ is gone. It is proof of how much we can also disregard within the experience of those in ‘power’ and apparent ‘control’ of their lives – a very cool interview that supported me to open up these points with more ease, to not judge what I have lived and become, but to see it for what it is: unacceptable forms of separation we’ve created in this world:

Life Review – When you Lose your Money – you Lose your Friends

Blogs of the day:


Personality Costs Money

If we take a single phase in our lives and we write out ‘what we were all about’ we’ll  inevitably see how such phase or personality as the character played out in that scene had a series of  items linked to them – this makes us look at the most evident factor within our current capitalist system: the entire idea of individuality as the character-creation experience has been impulsed for one single purpose: ‘buy your own style, buy your individuality, stand out and be original = just do it, be yourself, be free’ and all the rest of mottos we continuously see in all types of adds from gadgets, clothes, beverages, shoes, alcohol, you name it – 

Hence we’ve been ‘educated’ and ‘supported’ to become a certain type of personality as a requirement within the system to have a ‘space’ and a ‘place in the game’ because of: Money – yes.  That’s what’s behind everything that creates and defines a certain character and it’s plain to see this when we place this point into perspective and see how a human being that is barely making a living has no time, no money and no space in their mind to be thinking ‘what to wear’ or ‘how to become more outrageous and original’ – this might be laughable yet we can only laugh back at ourselves when realizing the extent of self-delusions that we’ve fed as blatant obedient followers of what culture dicktates us to be and do – 

 

All roles, all aspects that we take as ‘who we are’ within the social system requires money to buy that which creates the entire personality-suit in the matrix which is how people will see you, how you will be identified hence we’re taught that this is how we will obtain our self-worth and value, that’s how we end up investing a lot in this character-building process which will apparently create a safe-spot for us in the system – wherever it is that you want to be within it including the rejected-aspect of it as all polarities complement each other.

Letting go of these personality traits and characteristics in the literal meaning of the word  is not a point of sacrifice – even if I thought so at the very beginning of this process – it actually was something rather comfortable to do.

Past Self Image and it’s creation

8 silver rings on my fingers,  buy the most ‘unique’ and ‘original’ clothes I could afford which were mostly skirts and all types of tshirts that could match a certain color chart that I had chosen as ‘my colors’, buy all types of bracelets, earrings, necklaces, nail polish, weed – now this is talking about one single phase, the ‘colorful weedy phase’ , before I’d be focusing a lot in my hair on having this perfect bright black hair – no shit, I’d spent like an hour brushing it while reading under the sun so that I could have a perfect straight hair – this means I was burning my hair with the sun but anyways – lots of eye make up and yes indulging in all types of items that could match my then image  like painting my nails black having a collection of shoes that matched the style. So, even if I was apparently an ‘anti-image person’ I would indulge into the same aspect of image creation yet as a counter act,  so ‘my style’ was something I got to be proud of eventually due to the time and effort I had to go through to get to that ‘style’ that I apparently wanted to be. All bs really.

I must say that letting go of all of that personality fetishism has simplified my practical living 100%. Besides the no make up and no hair, no painting nails or wearing jewelry or having a stack of clothes that could define ‘who I am’ in any given day,  I’ve gotten to actually focus on clothes that are comfortable and mostly supportive, plain, simple. I realized how the outrageous pieces of clothing I bought were mostly to create an impact as ‘who I am’ as this artsy cookoo person that I was for some time, seeking to make an impact on others hence in essence becoming a walking image instead of being just another living being. Letting go of this ‘originality’ was quite a deal at the beginning, it was an actual process and only when actually letting it go and living within simplicity that we get to embrace that which we were initially resisting to let go of. The peak of this point was when I shaved my hair when I realized how much of ourselves was even defined by ‘our hair’ and all the products that went along with it.

 

Now, this is only on ‘what I would wear’ – but in terms of my room and the other items that created the entire image/ character/ personality, that’s another story. Buying cd’s, books, music magazines, antiques, art supplies and any other stuff for decorative purposes in my room became  yet another something to invest my tmie and money into. It’s plain to see that ‘who I am’ involved going out to seek that ‘something’ that I required to buy to continue expanding myself as this personality.

Within stopping the participation in such personality-shopping binges, my living expenses have reduced substantially and literally focusing on the necessary like buying food, paying services, some times a year buying clothes if necessary and personal toiletries. That’s about it – I might go to a concert  but that’s seldom now. The rest of the expenses on these outrageous items are gone. It’s funny because I still live with the stuff that I bought some 5 years ago and when I realize how I chose everything so specifically to suit an image, I can see how much I spent on this personality castle-building. And it worked obviously – that’s what allowed me to see how the system works in terms of creating relationships and a self-image that then would have a ‘place in space’, it worked really well in art school literally getting what I wanted and the recognition I sought for while being partially conscious about it. Then when the radical change came and even after when I came back from SA people kept wondering ‘where was Marlen’ because I looked like nothing they had ‘known’ – to me this was a cool indication, for them it was like ‘I’ was gone forever. Thank anu for that.

 

Now that I’m bald, that I mostly wear brown pants and black tshirts and wear boots lol it’s kind of not easy to ‘identify’ myself as part of a certain human group which is cool, I want to be then identified as part of the whole without any tags just because of how much I had spent money on that. An x person that isn’t an image, but an actual living physical being.

So, with all of this it’s plain to see how this system is based on feeding this point of ‘you must have a certain personality’ so extensively.

 

Let’s indulge into the social-tags on people. Imagine a geek must have the latest computer equipment and latest gadgets to be up to date with tech stuff. The academics and intellectuals spent a fuckload of money in books, in music, concerts, trips, nice wine and food for their friends to come over and delight themselves with. For sports people,  they require to have great equipment for whatever they require in their discipline, trainers, lots of time spent on actual training and buying the food that will satisfy their physical requirements not to mention the clothes and shoes necessary for that. Same with all the urban tribes as teenagers that spend heaps of money from hairstyling products to make up, to accessories, to clothes, shoes, bags that will match their presentation –

If we take all of these personalities from the matrix, the items produced and required would reduce dramatically as no one would then be requiring to buy ‘nail polish’ or expensive jewelry to fit in a certain social status, or ‘designer clothing’ or shoes that are foot-killers yet they lift up your bum if you’re a woman or look ‘spiffy’ if you are a man… I mean, we’ve become such walking jokes and we’ve all caged each other within this because we’ve accepted ourselves to be ‘what I see’ and within this, people seek each other and establish relationships based on this personality-matching schemes. It’s funny when you’re not able to be ‘identified’ as ‘something’ in particular – or they simply regard you as an ‘x’ so that’s cool – no definitions please, simplicity.

So that’s the final word here: simplicity, that’s what I’ve embraced as what I am within this point of personality wherein I do not require to look a ‘certain way’ to be ‘someone’ and buy something to keep ‘upgrading’ that personality. I’m just here, I use and wear what supports me and not me supporting an industry out of a preference.

 

That’s it.


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