Tag Archives: desteni2012

131. Stop Yourself with Self Forgiveness before You Kill someone

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be completely unaware of myself here as breath whenever I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the backchat ‘I want to kill you/him/her/them or myself’ without being absolutely aware of what it is that I am in fact implying with this very sentence as an absolute statement of who I am in such a moment, which we have taken so ‘lightly’ in our reality, without actually considering how every single thought, word and deed that we give ‘life’ to, creates and manifests a consequence for all as equals – within this it is in the best interest of myself and everyone to investigate how we have become the words we created in order to have the ability to take someone/ one’s own life based on a mind-created retaliation process wherein who we are as life as one and equals is Not being considered at all.

 

When and as I see myself thinking, pondering and speaking the words ‘I want to kill you/them/ he/she or myself’ I stop and I breathe – I realize that to get to this point wherein we are able to exist as such backchat, there has been an actual accumulation of words that I have thought, spoken and acted upon without considering a single speck of the physicality that I am in fact abusing when existing as a self-created possession that can only exist if we give permission for it to exist as ourselves in any given moment.

 

I see, realize and understand that speaking words without awareness is an obvious result of never having lived the words we speak, but only THINK them and believe that they hold no effect upon oneself or others in any way whatsoever, without ever pondering how it is that our world is currently the construction of the words we think, speak and create in separation of ourselves, which implies that words and expressions of decisive violence against others are to be reviewed for the intention and starting point they hold as the accumulative effect of thoughts, backchat, internal conversations that we have believed it is ‘who we are’ in fact, without ever questioning WHO we are being and what we are accepting and allowing when existing as words that imply abuse, harm and violence against others.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  harbor the backchatI want to kill you/he/she/them’ as the result of me not getting what I wanted from something/someone, leading me to the absolute opposite of that extreme desire I experienced to initially seek to get what I want/ needed/ required/ desired, which implies that I am in fact willing to harm/ abuse others within the desire to match my positive experience in the mind, to a reality that in no way will ever match my inner fantasies of ultimate positive experience, as such positive experience can only exist if there is a point of abuse behind it within the current configuration of our world system wherein not everyone is being equally supported to Live.

I realize that who am I within the wordsI want to kill you/him/her/myself’ I am in fact existing as the ultimate abuser that can be existent within ourselves as thoughts in our minds, the ultimate possession wherein who we are is reduced to one single point of self-destruction that is apparently ‘righteous’ in nature, and ‘makes sense’ without realizing that we in fact require to STOP, take a Deep Breath in order to realize what is it that we are in fact giving ourselves away to within a thinking pattern such as ‘I want to Kill you/ myself/ them’  – I realize that this is an absolute red flag wherein I must see and realize that I have accepted and allowed myself to be possessed by my own mind as the accumulation of time that I must take Self Responsibility for.

To do this, I Stop myself from participating or adding more thoughts to that single thinking pattern – then look back at the entire event/ points that I lead myself to get to this point of creating and holding the backchat such as ‘I want to kill you/her/he/them/myself’ in order to take Self Responsibility for oneself and one’s own thoughts, instead of using such backchat for further manipulation toward oneself and others in means of getting the problem solved, the ‘desired attention’ that we simply were not able to give to ourselves from the very first moment that we were seeking happiness, fulfillment and satisfaction in separation of ourselves through something or someone as the point of desire.

(This is why and how the previous posts explaining the polarity created upon Hate and Love are relevant to read, please do so in order to understand how the desire to Kill someone stems from a perceived point of loss/ lack that is then projected onto others as the absolute opposite, as that is how the mind operates)

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as the backchat  ‘I want to kill you/them/he/she/myself’ as the result of an accumulated backchat that I allowed to compound within myself without having a look at What is it that I accepted and allowed to exist within my world as a point of obsession and possession without giving it proper self-direction, which means that I allowed myself to get to the point of wanting to end someone’s life/ my own in order to ‘get away with murder’ wherein the implication of ‘killing someone’ is the ultimate apparent imposition of power and control over someone’s life – including one’s own – which is frequently seen as something ‘honorable’ to redeems one’s pride and position without ever understanding what real Honor implies as life.

Thus I see realize and understand that any belief about the thoughts ‘I want to kill him/her/them/myself’ being the ultimate free choice and free will decision to end someone’s/one’s own life is nothing but an ultimate self-medicated brainwash wherein I am in fact declaring that I am being possessed by my own self-created thoughts, leading me to create an inner experience of dissatisfaction, disbelief and or depression through relationship problems which I decide to make as something ‘grave’ enough to retaliate against another that I have taken as the ‘cause’ and ‘reason’ for my experience in the form of wanting to kill them/oneself in order to vindicate any sense of ‘pride’ and ‘honor’ when one’s ego has been hurt.

When and as I see myself wanting to Kill Someone in my mind, I stop immediately and I breathe, I realize that whatever I am seeing in something/ someone that is leading me to want to end another’ life/ my own life is simply a escapism distraction to not look at where and how I am absolutely responsible for my own creation in that moment – thus I take responsibility for myself to ensure that I in fact investigate within me, my life where I have created this particular pattern of anger, content and a desire to retaliate against others for something that I have directly created within and as my own mind.

I realize that throwing a tantrum about my own self-created obsession is the ultimate stupidity loop wherein I created and manifested a point of obsession based on all the positive experiences such as love, fulfillment, satisfying desires, needs, wants, dreams and the moment that I cannot fulfill these positive experiences in my physical reality the way that ‘I’ envisioned it in my mind, I then take it out on those that I believe and perceive were the reason why my dream/ point of desire and obsession was not able to be fulfilled – thus,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually be throwing a tantrum in my mind thinking about ‘killing myself/ another’ just because I could not get what I wanted, which became a self-created point of possession turning it deliberately into another form of Self-Victimization so that I could be labeled as ‘being mentally instable’ and s such, abdicate responsibility upon my own creation of which I am in fact able to be aware of from the very first moment of creating such a point of obsession/ desire as a possession, as I see and realize that anything that I created as a positive dream/ desire to fulfill, must eventually meet its downfall as the opposite negative point, which is how I believe I could ‘not take it’ to ‘lose’ my dream/ desire/ obsession, turning myself into an actual threat to myself and others’ lives just because of following my own thoughts to kill someone/ myself as a point to victimize myself and others as part of my own self-created obsession and delusion, that I see and realize ends where it began: within myself as my mind through taking responsibility for all that I have talked/ thought/ envisioned in my own mind toward that someone/ something that I allowed myself to become possessed by, losing all perspective of who I am as a physical being that only requires oxygen, food, water, shelter and basic relationships to continue existing and that anything else, is mind infatuation that I must take self responsibility for.

I see, realize and Understand that creating an ultimate desire for love, peace, joy and bliss as MY pursuit of happiness is what lead me to then experience all the opposite as hate, inner battles within my mind, dissatisfaction, dullness and self-hatred as the ultimate negative experience, that I then seek to ‘cure’ through exerting such anger stemming from ‘frustrated dreams’ against others, instead of actually stopping in one single cold moment to see what the hell it is that I am in fact using my physical body for, to think and scheme ways to kill others or myself just to ‘get away with murder’ within the love/hate relationship that I formed in my mind only.

 

When and as I see myself wanting to take revenge toward others/ myself for not being able to obtain/get what I wanted, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am the one that must take absolute responsibility for the entire point of possession and understand to what extent I have allowed myself to be possessed by these seemingly ‘innocent thoughts’ like saying ‘I want to kill you/her/him/them or myself’ as an apparent quick fix and solution to a problem that was created Only within my mind, thus I take absolute Self-Responsibility for every single experience that I created toward others in order to vindicate myself and always consider as if I had won after a perceived loss.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize to what extent I am abusing all and every single cell of my physical body and dishonoring every single particle that I exist as, the air I breathe, the beings I eat in order to continue living whenever I use life to create thoughts of self-deprecation, self-hatred and hateful self-manipulative rants wherein I believe that ‘I can get my control back by hating/ loathing something/someone,’ without realizing to what extent I am in fact depleting the very life that I  consist of every time that I participate in thoughts of any kind – whether positive as love, light, bliss, excitement and negative such as hatred, violence and absolute desire to control and abuse others as a way to feel better about myself.

 

I see, realize and understand that who I am as the thinking pattern ‘I want to kill them all/ myself’ is an absolute threat to oneself and others that I must immediately Stop and take responsibility for through immediate self forgiveness in order to actually See and Realize what is it in fact that I am participating in, what type of experience it is that I am creating when and while having these thoughts of killing another/myself in my head, what is it that I in fact perceive I lost that I am now wanting to take revenge of due to my own apparent inability to realize and see how any positive experience that I desire as an absolute point of possession that is not ‘doable’ and ‘livable’ in this physical reality, becomes the exact opposite as the ultimate disillusionment and hatred that is then sought to be compensated with exerting a point of power/ control such as killing others in order to satisfy one’s own ‘game’ in the mind wherein after the perceived loss of the happiness-point, one retaliates against the perceived point of loss in order to be the one that ‘has the ultimate say’ as the perceived ‘winning’-experience within a game that I only created within my own mind, as it was never in fact real.

 

When and as I see myself using the thinking pattern of ‘I want to kill him/her/them or myself’ as a way to feel powerful and ‘in control’ of the situation, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am in fact wanting to make up for an apparent and believed loss/ disillusionment that I must then take self responsibility for, as I am not going to solve anything within my life just by exerting this point of apparent ‘power’ over another’s life – or my own – by desiring to end it, but that I am in fact only hiding myself from the actual responsibility that I hold toward my own self-created obsession/ desire and fantasy that only existed in my mind through and by my own creation and participation in it.

 

I see and realize that I could only ‘give head’ to thoughts about killing another if I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to give to myself that which I perceive I lack, that which I perceive I desire and cannot obtain, which is how and why the nature of the desire as a point of possession is what one must take self responsibility for, to see where and how we have in fact brainwashed ourselves to believe that we must have a relationship, that we must be rich, that we must be experiencing ‘happiness’ all the time, that we must be ‘successful’ and ‘gracious’ 24/7, without realizing how it is in this very accepted and allowed brainwash that I have created my own obsessions and desires as a perceived ‘lack’ without understanding how they have been deliberately created by each one of us individually and collectively as the ultimate ‘happiness’ that everyone is now seeking and busy ‘buying in this world,’ without actually stopping to see how false and unreal such satisfaction actually is, as it has never ever been considered within the base foundation of what is best for all life

 

Thus I see and realize that everything that I would want to take revenge of, retaliate against due to my perceived dissatisfaction and ‘unfulfilled dreams’ are points that I must take self responsibility for to see, realize and understand to what extent I have accepted all the ‘positive’ as love, bliss, happiness, sex, money, fame and glory as everything that is ‘normal’ to desire, without understanding how the entirety and totality of the world system is based upon these self-created ‘needs’ that function at a cultural level of imprinting/ programming desires/ wishes/ obsession points in order to keep us entertained within our minds within a believed ‘lack’ and ‘loss’ that we experience as a ‘negativity’ within ourselves, seeking to get to the ‘positive’ all the time, which is what keeps us all recreating and reinforcing the entire Money System of abuse wherein all points of attainment are based on supporting the entire machinery of money as the current function abuse upon life.

To understand this points further, please listen to:

 

Within this, it is to see and realize how we have all been participants and directly responsible for anyone having thoughts of wanting to ‘kill’ in the name of an apparent positive experience upon a process of disillusionment/ disbelief and dissatisfaction, which is in fact only demonstrating how everything that we have judged in our reality as so called ‘bad people’ and ‘mind possessed’ people are in fact no different to everything that we have become as our own mind, as the same thinking pattern that I can create in one single moment of anger upon not getting what I wanted, is exactly the same thinking pattern that accumulated within a killer’s mind that lead him to actually act upon those same thoughts.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to indulge into the desires to love, have the ultimate bliss and happiness as a relationships to money, sex, success and anything that I created in my mind as a point of possession wherein I see myself in the ultimate ‘throne of glory’ as I realize that the process of realizing how the entire accumulation of the positive energy toward all those ‘good things’ comes inevitably to a downfall in a direct opposite manner to the absolute negative when seeing and realizing how unattainable my dreams/ wishes/ point of desire become, which is where I must investigate what type of fantasies, illusions and dreams which are only formulated in my mind did I give myself away to, did I allow myself to participate in just to get a positive experience out of it, deliberately ignoring how ‘unrealistic’ and ‘non-doable’ such dreams are, which implies that I must take responsibility for all my deliberate participation in all things positive to then see and realize that any perceived lack, loss or disillusion is only that, losing the illusion that I created in my mind as the ultimate positive imaginary experience leading me to the absolute negative when coming to the final realization that any point I seek to fulfill myself and my desires eventually devolves into a downfall as a negative experience – thus

I see, realize and understand that participating in the physical world does not require for me to create a positive or negative experience about it.

 

When and as I see myself participating in desires of happiness, fulfillment through relationships, getting the ultimate job and success in this world and reality, having all the money in the world, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this is the starting point of creating an entire cycle of self-abuse wherein we indulge into the positive experience that participating in all these ‘good feelings’ creates, however I see, realize and understand that such initial positive input must meet It’s opposite energetic output as the negative, the same way that the light is generated through friction and conflict as I see that I am allowing myself to be blinded by the delightful light, without considering the actual opposite as ‘the negative’ that is the foundation and starting point for any of my dreams and desires, which is to experience the positive and the ‘moreness’ of myself. Thus I ensure that I remain here in and as the physical body wherein I do not require to desire/want/need to obtain something/ someone in order to ‘feel better about myself,’ as I recognize and embrace myself as the totality of who I really am as myself in this physical body and in this physical existence that I have separated myself from through desire in my mind only.

 

I take self responsibility for every point of obsession and infatuation that I have created toward a positive experience, in order to stop the entire cycle of self abuse that seeking happiness entails and ending up in absolute despair and self-deprecation toward oneself and others just because of realizing that in this physical reality, all our dreams are just that: illusions/ fantasies/ thoughts in our mind that cannot be practically achieved without creating the absolute opposite within a world of consequence due to how we have created a foundation of ‘life’ based upon abuse. It is to investigate then the starting point of such want, need and desire and see where and how self is not giving oneself that which we seek/ desire from and as something/ someone in separation of ourselves.

………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Thus it is to see, realize and understand to what extent we are all collectively responsible for creating the ultimate polarity of love and light in opposition to get away from the perceived ‘lack’ as a negative experience, keeping ourselves always valuing everything outside of  as ‘more’ than ourselves, which is visibly existent currently as our monetary system –

It is to understand then that all killers, all mind possessed people are no different to you or me as we are currently ALL Mind Possessed. Thus through the living and application of Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective application  to start becoming aware of how every single thought that we have in a seemingly ‘fleeting moment’ of flinching and throwing a tantrum against others, does in fact create consequential outflows within everything and everyone equally.

This is our oneness and equality, wherein we have abused ourselves, the Earth, the animals that we are in fact Killing  slowly but surely every time that we give head to the directions that we created and programmed in my own mind, without taking responsibility for them and realizing what are we in fact stating within this action of wanting to be ‘more’ than others, to ‘have it all,’ to have the ‘ultimate happiness’ that cannot exist in this world currently without abusing something and someone.

 

More so than ever, I cannot see myself detached from any person that has ever been labeled as crazy or mind possessed as we are ALL currently mind possessed and as long as we try and hide this, we will continue blaming everything and everyone for what is going on on a daily basis as all forms of wars, abuse, violence and direct personal-life retaliation processes that originated from exactly the same place that you and I Also exist as, which is the mind that we are now here in the process of equalizing to and as our physical to finally ensure that everything we think, say and act upon is in fact standing in the Best interest of All Life in Equality.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that FORGIVENESS is a Gift Given to Self to bring an END to the Illusion of a MINDSELF that is a Self Created Illusion, as Energy Presented as THOUGHTS, Feelings, and Emotions.” – Bernard Poolman 

 

Stop participating in those thoughts before it’s too late – there’s specific support for these thinking patterns available at:

 

Demonology

Desteni

Desteni I Process

Equal Money System

 

inner demons

2003

Blogs:

Interview to realize what it  is to Really in fact Experience that point of being trained to KILL others due to problems in our world that we have accepted and allowed with apparent no solution, without realizing that all wars stem from the inner wars we have created within ourselves as the mind.

Know Thyself:

2012 Dreamcatchers: Who Imagined this Fuckup?

 

“Be willing to dream, and imagine yourself becoming all that you wish to be. Keep in mind the basic axiom — all that now exists was once imagined. It follows then that what you want to exist for you in the future must now be imagined.”

Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

 

“all that now exists was once imagined.”

This can only lead us to ponder the nature of the accepted and allowed mind that could go to the extent of imagining a world in poverty, starvation, war, rape, crime, animal abuse, violence, genocides, political and economical enslavement affecting the lives of billions of beings that are currently pending from one string to remain alive. Is our imagination something that we could be proud of?

Have you ever pondered how ‘comfortable’ it is to sit within our minds and ‘fly away’ into an alternate reality for a moment, only having to snap back to reality wherein the landing is often rather bumpy – why? Because in our imagination we ‘take the wheel’ whereas in reality, we have allowed ourselves to be driven by our own thoughts wherein we believe that: what we think, we can manifest. Is it really so, Mr. Dyer?

 

That ‘mind’ has been ourselves all the way: we created everything that is here, as it is, and within the current aberrant conditions we’re living in, we care realize that we manifested a fuckup as our reality that we have now covered up with a thick layer of glossy and sticky statements like Dr. Dyer’s quote above– how fluffy and nice! ‘Be willing to dream!’ I mean, as if it wasn’t known that sleeping is one of the most common methods to suppress our experiences and avoid facing our reality which is, yes, not a nice cotton-candy reality wherein we can all enjoy ourselves – however: we created it!

 

This reality has become the polarity opposite of our ‘wildest dreams and imagination’ wherein everyone is fearing each other, living only to get the next paycheck and seeking to fulfill the inner-experience with relationships that are mostly adding on to the self abuse in this world. Is this what We Imagined? or rephrasing: How come our imagination never fit the actual reality wherein any super-happiness and ultimate bliss-dream cannot possibly be fulfilled as a reality for ALL Beings? Of course, if Dr. Dyer speaks to the rich and famous that can follow the dreams through playing the game in the system, then there’s an obvious counter productive and abusive side to sustain such ‘charming’ words. Having such ‘bliss’ can only happen at the expense of others, and this is the single acceptance that reveals our ‘true nature’ within the ability to only imagine and fool-fill ourselves with unrealistic panoramas that are mostly keeping everyone busy making money to hypothetically make them their reality. That took quite some nitty-gritty scheming that we are all participants of as this entire system.

 

It’s a usual selling-grip to instigate human’s gullibility to buy that which sounds like honey to your ears – I mean, who on Earth wants to hear about Self-Responsibility and Self-Honesty and creating a world that is best for all through actual work? Not many, unfortunately – however what Mr. Dyer is missing is that: life cannot be neglected, denied, suppressed or even cheated through magic games like ‘imagining your best possible scenario and it will manifest!’

 

How predictable have we become to literally buy-into such glorious effortless quotes, that add fuel to an already fucked up Idea that living is about accumulating stuff that can define ‘who you are’ or ‘having all the money in the world’ or getting the ‘person of your dreams,’ which is certainly – proven 100% here by the writer of these words – Not what you ever expected it all to be. The fame and glamour that  you believe you want to get eventually becomes a nightmare for many – not even in having it all would you be able to sort out your inner-conflict that is most likely Not solved with money.

 

Bottom line is: when imagination meets reality you can either stop fueling these mindsturbations by daring to be Self-Honest and realistic about the current situation we’re living in and facing within this world – or you can decide to continue mind-fucking yourself which implies not only doing it to yourself, but dragging more along, such as what Mr. Dyer is doing within peddling such statements that are Not in any way whatsoever supportive for humanity.

 

How easy it is to sell dreams.

 

Dare to be Self Honest, Dare to see that his world is NOT here for our personal-fulfillment while having some actually slaving their time away while barely having anything to eat, just to make ‘your wishes and dreams come true.’

 

Who’s been the abuser and evil in this world all along?

 

Time to take Self Responsibility and dare to actually LIVE – it won’t be as easy as wishing or hoping without realizing that we can actually – instead of hoping and wishing –create a reality that is tangibly physically best for ALL LIVING BEINGS.

If you seek to ‘dream’ and ‘imagine’ just because your life is apparently ‘sad and miserable,’ read the following quote and see that reality is not about mansions, ‘beautiful men/ women,’ wine racks, boats and personal gurus that massage your ears with words that temporarily satiate your ever quenching ego as the mind – reality is something that our human experience cannot even grasp at this stage. Will you Dare to be Real or do you fear losing your ability to imagine and dream?

 

 

“To feel sad implies there is something lost or that can be lost – nothing real can ever be lost – Humans are not real –their bodies are real and will remain and return to earth when the opportunity of equality is recalled suddenly in a breath — when there are no more humans left and only life remain in various forms – you will not miss the illusion as it would never fit in with reality.” – Bernard Poolman

 

In the end: all that was mind-created will simply NOT exist as it was never real in the first place.

Featured Blogs:

Interviews:

Eqafe recommendation to Learn from those that faced the consequences of having ‘followed their dreams’

2012 R.I.P. God

To place this into context – this is the result of being back and forth writing about  God these days – more than usual –  through comments, messages, blogs.  I reply to several comments a day when I have to explain the non-existence of God over and over again wherein words tend to become automated – and I am now being asked to  ‘define ‘god’ in a short sentence’ – within my mind it’s like wtf? Why should I define something that doesn’t exist? Yet, I breathe and see that this is a ‘big concept’ that is still ruling the lives of many, many beings. Therefore – God, here we go.

I’ll share a moment I had at the farm.

Bernard asked me: So, what if there IS a God?

For a moment I froze over to this question wherein the initial reaction was that of having all my blasphemous fears rising up – what if ‘God’ was actually something that could punish me after having denied ‘him’ and talked bs about it? Yes, the religious construct was immediately faced in a split second there.  Then I realized in  common sense and replied: If there was a God it wouldn’t matter/ it would make no difference as God would then be one and equal as well.

This is to understand that we can only create something ‘more’ or ‘less’ and fear it if existing in separation from it = not considering Oneness and Equality.

In other words, the God concept can only exist in separation of ourselves as this ‘higher entity’ in our minds – in reality, all is one and equal.

If you equate ‘God’ to ‘all’ or ‘Life’ or ‘the universe’ or ‘existence’ or ‘Earth,’  then you can just call it for what it is – there’s no need to hold within our minds a concept that has its origin in a religious construct based on masters and slaves, on worshiping an idea instead of living by naming things for what they are. Instead of having to ‘believe’ in something invisible or ‘almighty’ or ‘whole and perfect’ in itself, we rather dedicate ourselves to speak words that we can relate ourselves to in this physical reality, where we can create and become a living example of what life must be in equality.

If you define ‘God’ as a creator – realize that all that is currently here is manifested by the Earth, as itself – we are the ones that are responsible for whatever happens to it as a deliberate intervention and relationships we form in it, in order to live – and also destroy/ abuse/ exploit it in the name of ‘power’ and ‘greed,’ which goes hand in hand with our monetary system. The Earth cannot abuse itself, we have stood as that point in reality, we have created and used words like ‘God’ to abdicate the responsibility for our creation, just as we use the word ‘love’ to cover up the actual suffering and pain that goes on in this world because of the reasons mentioned above.

You can get a thorough perspective and investigation on what was really going on within the ‘Godly realms of Heaven’ – how it is that people were really being ‘guided’ and given some fluffy experience that could be called ‘god’ and ‘joy’ as the entire idea of ‘God’ as a systematic energetic experience that was merely preprogrammed, while the actual physical exists in extreme pain and suffering. You can also read all about how the white-light system was dismantled and within that, how the ‘creators’ of this reality were exposed as it is all explained/ existent within the Desteni material.

All the mawkish associations like

God is Love

or

God is Joy

or

God is Freedom

or

God is Mercy

etc.…

All of that is to create connections between words that have been deliberately preprogrammed to make you get a warm/ fuzzy feeling as energy churning within you and associate it with the word ‘God,’ so that it could – at least – have some type of sensation to it, because we have definitely not been able to see any ‘god’ in this reality as it is usually conceived/ perceived as an almighty being/ higher being/ or a ball of super-powerful energy or invisible force.

There is no greater energy than the one that is existent in its totality here – any more or less conceived in that is separation existent at a mind level only.

The bucket of cold water for me to get rid of the belief of God was Desteni and the material wherein the entire enslavement of man through the White-Light Construct was explained. I mean, I used to believe in a God as well – by tradition, by comfort, by having that ‘need’ of something or someone to solve things for me, to protect me, to not feel alone, to not feel like all of this life was in vain – and this can be applied to any other relationship I formed within my reality.

I really wanted to make this blog as short as I could but… now I have to bring this up otherwise the case is not closed and you might come up with further questions about it.

The book: Life after God by Douglas Coupland– this book depicts how in a society wherein everything seems to be ‘lost’ and ‘helpless,’ we turn to God as the last resort to at least have a little faith in something. Okay, for a moment I went into the thought ‘it seems very awkward having to talk about God and my experience toward it’ just because it’s been quite some time that I stopped believing in anything like that- but that’s just a mind-limitation, I bring the point Here and share it/ communicate about it. 

The point about the book is how it ends with this passage wherein – I won’t spoil it – in essence the character is declaring requiring God to keep going, because he couldn’t continue/ keep going by himself, alone. And I resonated a lot with this at that time (some 6 years ago) because I felt as lost as all the characters of that book felt like – and I thought that the only way out of my own misery was through seeking God. And that’s how my entire ‘spirituality’ journey began which I have written about in several blogs throughout these past months and years – recent example is ‘The Feel Good Times’ – Yet my incursion in spirituality and religions was more of a brief walk  to see what would fit my idea of god – yeah, just like a custom-made god and religion, that’s what I was aiming for back then.

When I realized that the string I had attached to god and wanting to develop this ‘relationship with God’ was essentially based on saving my ass and out of enlightened self-interest, to ‘be at ease’ with myself, it became very obvious that I had resorted into the idea of God out of desperation, out of that desire to have something to ‘live for’ or something to ‘live up to’ in a way. I hadn’t realized myself as that point of my existence to live for. I didn’t accept myself, I would not consider myself as something ‘worthy of living’ at times, I would consider myself as a nuisance to the world and in my attempt to become ‘something,’ I turned to God, seeking to make myself ‘greater’ with all of these ideas of reaching enlightenment or some holistic understanding of this reality that could make me feel ‘better’ about myself – simply because I was existing as a bundle of fears, a whole fucking lot of fears.

This means that resorting to God was my way of coping with an extensive ‘fear of god’ that I went through – mostly created out of the beliefs in spirituality with being aware of the afterlife and demons and dead people being able to lurk around here on Earth everywhere and creating an intense fear of being watched the whole time. I would fear ‘god’ knowing all my secrets, I feared these ‘guides’ and beings being taking notes of everything I did, so that they could ventilate it whenever I would be in the presence of such ‘sessions’ wherein we were apparently given “support and protection from ‘the evil of this world.”

Why would ‘God’  then not just defeat such evil? Why having to go around floating with a protective mechanism to not be influenced by others? I had a great laugh when listening in these History of the Portal interviews how guides would be walking around like that when coming to Earth – it is amusing to hear these stories now, however when I was into believing in a God, I would pretty much feel like bound to this need to ‘do the right thing’ all the time, out of fear of being judged in the presence of this god or ‘guides’ that we would – apparently – be in contact with on a regular basis. I won’t go into details about it, it’s not relevant as it was all preprogrammed and part of the entire ‘specialness’ point in my religious-system based on spirituality.

So – to sum it up, I used the God idea for a while to try to see things in a positive way. When getting to Desteni and starting watching the news again, documentaries, videos that revealed the reality of this world, I definitely saw how I had simply used god/ spirituality/ positivity as the way to hide all the fears that I had toward myself, toward this reality, toward humans, toward facing myself and everything that is here basically. It was like having the NOD32 God being upgraded and feeling protected against all the viruses as fears that I would have toward myself, it was like eating a candy that will make your mouth sweet for a while and then just leaving the same bitter taste.

How can God exist in a world of abuse, poverty, starvation… I mean I feel like a robot having to explain this because it’s just plain obvious now, because I cannot conceive how something ‘magnificent’ can be believed to exist in a world with astounding separation and negligence toward LIFE.

God is just a word that represents the quick fix we have created as humanity to have someone to blame for our creation, to have something to ‘hold on to’ whenever we felt too lost to continue, to have something to aspire to get to be-with once we are dead, to deposit faith upon simply because we weren’t able to trust ourselves, we hadn’t allowed ourselves to become ‘the’ point of our existence.

That’s the process, and that’s how we walk it. I’m glad to be walking out of that as the entire idea that I have enslaved myself-to, which is my own ego as personality that has held all of these fears and limitations in place.

I named the blog R.I.P. God as the final leaving-the concept-alone for once and for all, it serves no purpose, it has no physical correlation to what is here, we simply take it as the piece of preprogrammed concept that continued the enslavement of man. We stop it, we forgive ourselves for having accepted and allowed ourselves to be dominated and bound to such superior alter-ego as our god-creation, and walk the process of self-realization of who we are as one and equal. We thus act according to the laws of the physical reality to become a self-responsible being, within the consideration of all the points that require to be corrected and directed to co-create a world that’s best for all – no need to believe in anything for that.

There is No God. There is No need to even discuss about it further – we simply focus on what is Here to establish Life in Equality.

thanks for reading –

Some blogs/ notes written about the God point in the previous days:

God – Why believing in God is Abuse

Divine Economics: Money or God?

Groups wherein evidence of how God / Religions separate this reality are shared:

Stop All Religions and Live Equal

God – and why believing in God is insane

For support on how to walk out of the God relationship into a living-reality of Self Responsibility: Desteni Forum •

coti 11090179

Cool video by Jan Erik Hansen:

Are the poor really blessed?


2012 The Unraveling

The process of Writing Yourself to Freedom is a self-revelation process that we can all apply in order to become aware of who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become = getting to know ourselves within the starting point of actually supporting us to Live in Common Sense. Within this, the basic ingredient is Self Honesty as the starting point for this process is understanding that there are points that are required to be corrected and aligned within the principle of What’s Best for All within the realization of who we are as Equal and One as Life.

What I’ve discovered is that through writing I was able to see myself through words, just like a mirror of the ego wherein my choice of words as the ‘writing style’ was  what I could see myself playing out in, for example, the first vlogs that I made as part of this process. I was able to start seeing myself for the very first time, simply because I hadn’t ever recorded myself and definitely not for the purpose of self-revelation and self-correction. Though, the main point of support throughout this process has been writing wherein it becomes ‘The Point’ of assistance and support to ground ourselves through the Unraveling of the mind, it is that ‘backbone’ or skeleton structure that we can always go back to in order to ‘pour our mind out’ and within that, go disentangling what we perceive as this entire chaos within ourselves as all the thoughts that we have gave our breaths away to.

Let’s look at it like putting the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle together again – lol which is something that has kind of intrigued me how we can be that ‘crazy’ to buy this as a form of entertainment, while we could have just bought the picture ‘as one’ already. However, we as the mind have complicated ourselves and divided us in these thousand-pieces that we then realize we have to put back together for the sake of realizing ourselves as ‘the whole picture.’ Within this process, one can relate to the patience required to go bit by bit putting the pieces back together to create the entire picture, yet having this yearning desire in the back of our head to ‘have the puzzle done.’

I mean, I walked this point of solving jigsaw puzzles and got to know this aspect of having this imminent desire to complete it/ get it done as fast as I could. However I realized that I was trying to ‘beat my own record’ and prove myself that I could do it or walk through my own desperate ways of ‘wanting to get everything done right away’ – yet I forgot how it was the actual process of ‘putting the pieces ‘back together’ that was the entire ‘gist’ of a jigsaw puzzle, otherwise I could have only bought a poster of the image and that’s it.

This is how I have come to understand this process as well, wherein at the beginning -and even at times still – we tend to want to ‘get it all done’ and within this miss out the entire point of it which is actually walking in space and time the self-realization process to see/ realize that ‘we are here,’ and we are learning how to see ourselves for the first time as creators of our reality, to debunk and demystify our existence that we thought –or liked to believe – it would have any form of ‘greatness’ embedded to it, instead of ever realizing that the simplicity – yet wholeness – of who we really are is what’s being missed every time that we tend to ‘go up in our head,’ trying to complicate ourselves, to exalt our idea of who we are because somehow we have linked all of these experiences as ‘being alive.’

We have compromised each other to have to ‘be something’ in this society. Have a look at the questions of ‘what are you/ what do you do?’ and in this already funneling down everything that we actually are to one single profession, one single gender, to a single idea of ourselves while in fact, who we are is much more than just a few words that can give another an ‘idea’ of who we are as our mind – not as the reality that we are as Life.

It is definitely so that we have set up the system wherein we are the only ones that have separated ourselves from the simplicity of seeing things as they are, instead of trying to embed something to it for the sake of creating a constant experience within ourselves according to a point of self-definition a.k.a. ego of the mind. Within this, it is to see how we have covered the simplicity of who we are with the entire ego as the mask/personality that becomes like a second skin that we believe is ‘who we are,’ yet protecting ourselves from even us realizing what/ how and who we really are, which in simplicity is here as a human physical body equal and one to any other being in this world.

The process of writing ourselves to freedom is unraveling this addiction or attachment that we have created on to everything that we have accumulated throughout our life – either in our minds as thoughts/ memories/ feelings/ emotions or as physical possessions, people, places – making of it only a collection of ‘items’ that we have defined as ‘who we are.’ We become so fixated on it that it almost seems impossible to even fathom who and what we will be without all of those threads woven on top of ourselves.

Each point that we apply Self Forgiveness for is like unraveling those threads and start de-weaving the entire cover that we have built on top of ourselves. It might seem quite ‘difficult’ to go through this as it is essentially having to deconstruct and tear down our ‘precious,’ an entire self-creation that we have created a relationship with for an entire lifetime. However, this doesn’t mean that it is impossible or even ‘too late’ which just reminded me of that I-so-late-shun video wherein the moment that we realize what we have become and there’s an idea of ‘there is no way out of it’ and that we are ‘too late to change’ or do anything to take Self Responsibility, the Isolation comes up as a form of accepting one’s ‘fate’ as immovable. It is then our duty to stop any form of backchat that could tell us: ‘it is not possible, it is too much, I will never get to do this’ or even ‘you cannot possibly forgive yourself for this.’

I can only speak from the time I’ve been walking this process and it takes time and a definitive ‘letting go’ of wanting to ‘become something’ or ‘achieve anything’ through writing that I am able to stand one and equal as the words I go realizing through walking this process. The moment that I force myself to it, the starting point is not being equal and one as myself and in that, there can only come a backfire to be reveal to me how I have ‘missed the point,’ simply because it is not to ‘better’ ourselves or ‘improve’ the idea that we have of who we are, but actually align ourselves to walk the understanding of what it is to support oneself as equal and one. It is within those moments that we actually learn and get to know who and what we have become to eventually Self-Forgive the points. As hard as it may seem at any point/stage within our process,  giving us this opportunity to stand up and forgive ourselves is the only way we can finally heal the point and move on to stand in an equal-stance toward ourselves, to no longer remain attached to a single idea and character of who and what we have become.

“The only person standing in your way: Is YOU”
– Bernard Poolman

I have learned so much of myself through this process, getting from an experience of constant insecurity, self doubt and belittling myself to a point of self acceptance and self-recognition to see what I am actually capable of being and standing as when I leave the mind-shit aside.  The fact that we seek recognition in another/ others reveals   to what extent we have denied ourselves as life, how we have basically considered ourselves as ‘non existent’ just because of a set of thinking patterns that we have believed is ‘who we are.’ This really ‘struck me’ at some point, because of how we have diminished ourselves within words as judgments that are not supportive for anyone in any way. How was I able to see and spot this? Through writing myself to freedom, through interacting with others in my reality, through reading and participating in the Desteni Forum wherein we share our realizations and learn how we have all in fact been programmed the exact same way, wherein we realize how each one just constantly sought to have the next ‘quick fix’ as any form of energetic kick in whatever form we would indulge ourselves in.

I have also learned from others as myself, we have gathered our blogs and have created almost an encyclopedia of the human mind for the first time, just because of how it is that we have in fact only now allowed us to speak ‘our truth’ as the reality that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become, yet kept ‘secret’ because of our own egos standing on the way of equality all this time.

Exposing ourselves might not seem like the mind’s favorite game, it is not nice or pretty – yet this is the foundation of what standing in Self Honesty is: daring to bring up that which had been only rotting as a corpse in the closet for ages, never daring to expose it because of the attachment that we had toward it – along with any other judgment toward the fact of having kept it there for such a long time – as weird as it may sound, it seems we all have this tendency to keep our strings attached to that which we know is not best for all, not beneficial. It is only when we Do take the necessary scissors in the form of writing and applying/ living Self-Forgiveness that we can start seeing the range of possibilities that we can stand as in Equality.

It’s fascinating how we have married ourselves to an idea of self, to our own religion, to our own mind and within this, reducing reality to a single system of words and pictures that we have impressed with values and worth as ‘who we are,’ which is unacceptable considering the actual reality we are disregarding in such selfish limited ‘view’ of ourselves and the world.

The unraveling is thus withdrawing from that constant fix that we have created for ourselves in whatever way we had chosen our ‘fix’ to be, which is linked to our ego/ personality as belief, ideas, feelings, thoughts – I mean, we can just look at our incessant ‘thinking’ and we’ll have a direct proof of how we have built ourselves up. Hence writing it out is precisely placing our entire programming/ pattern in front of ourselves – either on a piece of paper or our computer screen – and dare to face it all as our creation, and from here, take Self Responsibility for it using Self Forgiveness as a tool to become really specific on getting to know ourselves, using it as a shovel to make sure we dig out all that is deeply rooted within ourselves as self definitions.

This is how the idea of god or any other magical force around us must be debunked, as there was never any mysterious cause for how things are in this world, for who and what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become.

For a moment it might seem like we are scared of now leaving everything we have known ourselves to-be behind, and I can say that this is just like any other addict that believes they cannot live without their fix – yes, it takes almost a withdrawal process wherein the symptoms are usually ‘wanting to give up’ or ‘not wanting to continue with this’ – without realizing that giving up is of the mind and that’s precisely what we are realizing here is Not who and what we really are.

Thus, we continue walking here – I have this tendency to apologize myself for talking/ writing too much, but it’s all that I had to say today after having heard a couple of interviews and discussing points with people that are also walking this process wherein all I can see is that ‘the only point that stands in our way is ourselves’ and within that, there is nowhere else to look for answers other than here, getting to know ourselves and will ourselves to live a self-corrective process to stand in Equality as Life.  I could not see myself doing anything else as this is the time where I can finally say I don’t have any more ‘questions’ around my existence, I don’t require to ‘know more’ about it, I just require to get myself to a point of equality as myself and within that, actually learn how to live and coexist as all that is here.

Never underestimate the power of our own words – we are here to Live them.

Suggest to Listen to:

2012: Is Hope an Illusion?

2012: World Transformation – The How-To
2010 Life is NOT an Experience

Why I would not want to be God (Part One) by Heath Ledger


2012: 8 Ways to Practically End Suffering

Let’s say that my ‘path’ through Buddhism was rather short-lived. The closest I got to it was by creating an ‘art piece’ that was called ‘Kit for the Traveling Buddhist’ which contained a little effigy of Buddha along with a small cardboard box that resembled a shrine, a little book that sums up the basics of Buddhism, some incense and porcelain incense holders. I actually bought that in Tower Records which to me made quite a cool depiction of how Religions have become nothing else but another set of products that one can buy along with any other entertainment and collector’s items.. I wonder if someday they’ll make a mini-Jesus version with a little cross that you can bury in a little clay monticule.

Let’s look at the Buddhist teachings/principles from a Destonian perspective – hereby I take all the necessary steps to place anyone into an appropriate context in relation to what the ‘Noble Eightfold Path’ is. See how great it sounds:

The Way to the End of Suffering is the Noble Eightfold Path, the way to deliverance from suffering taught by the Buddha. The higher reaches of the path may seem remote from us in our present position, the demands of practice may appear difficult to fulfill. But even if the heights of realization are now distant, all that we need to reach them lies just beneath our feet. The eight factors of the path are always accessible to us; they are mental components which can be established in the mind simply through determination and effort. We have to begin by straightening out our views and clarifying our intentions. Then we have to purify our conduct — our speech, action, and livelihood. Taking these measures as our foundation, we have to apply ourselves with energy and mindfulness to the cultivation of concentration and insight. The rest is a matter of gradual practice and gradual progress, without expecting quick results. For some, progress may be rapid, while for others it may be slow, but the rate at which progress occurs should not cause elation or discouragement. Liberation is the inevitable fruit of the path and is bound to blossom forth when there is steady and persistent practice. The only requirements for reaching the final goal are two: to start and to continue. If these requirements are met there is no doubt the goal will be attained. This is the Dhamma, the undeviating law.

There is no doubt that the MONEY factor is completely overlooked from the get-go. Sure thing, directing ourselves one and equal as our mind is one of the first points to consider if we want to create a point of change in this world – however, if one really takes a closer look at this, you’ll see that there is almost this ‘invisible force’ that will apparently make it all ‘work’ just by walking in an almost a blind-mode toward this elusive goal. These ‘invisible forces’ are equal in nature to the current ‘market forces’ that are the holy ghost of economics, human’s most well-sustained projection of there being something apparently undeniable and uncontrollable, like some type of force that has a life of its own, which is obviously b.s. No ‘greater intention’ will be able to create an actual change in the world unless there is a physical and sustainable platform that is able to actually allow the manifestation of ‘heaven on Earth’ if we dare to speak in such ideal-terms. All I see that we require is to give each other equal opportunity to coexist as equals, having equal access to what is HERE by default, by mere fact of being a living, breathing being that is part of this world.

Now, let’s place these 8 ‘noble ways’ into perspective.

1.      Right View

See things as they truly are without delusions or distortions
for all things change. Develop wisdom by knowing how things
work, knowing oneself and others.

At Desteni we share how walking in this physical reality requires being Self Honest about our own experience, and our everyday living activities while daring to live without having to create emotions and feelings as a way to ‘feel alive.’ We live here as breath, walking the physical reality that is HERE.

We walk a process of first getting to know ourselves in order to then be able to stand in a position of correcting and directing ourselves as equals coming from that vantage point of understanding how we function at a mind level, and how it is that ‘who we are’ within our mind creates the reality that we live in. Through this process we’re able to get to know others as well, because we understand that we have in fact been preprogrammed Mind Consciousness Systems that have exactly the same mechanisms of defense, of ‘living’ as a rather looping-life system with cycles that  keep us trapped within a single life-design with no ability to ‘breakthrough’ – apparently.

Heaven is no more and we are now ensuring the old system ends with ourselves. We are walking the actual process of stopping our own constant delusions that exist every moment that we think, feel, believe, imagine or talk back to ourselves perpetuating our faith to our self-religions of ‘who we are’ as personalities, entities of knowledge and information that get activated through the use of memory and associations according to an entire lifetime of experiences. This is how ‘Wisdom’ has been useless in fact, because it has only served to separate ourselves from the commonsensical realization that who we are doesn’t require ‘knowledge’ to exist. Thus it only compounds as a nice thick layer of words that have no practical purpose in supporting who we are as life. Knowledge without application is useless – hence we cultivate Self Honesty to walk through the world, get to know how it works so that we are in fact able to realize our potential in order to change it once we stop existing as a bundle of limitations and fears. Within seeing what’s actually Here in fact without the unnecessary ‘rationalization’ that goes on in our minds, we are able to simplify our living reality because there is no need to make ‘wisdom’ about it, but just doing/ living what’s best for all.

The Right View is then linked to developing common sense to see where and how what’s best for all is able to be practically lived and applied in every moment that we are here -seeing with our physical eyes what is here without creating further judgment about it, thus stopping ourselves from re-creating the past from a single point of perception.

“Process is to find self honestly how things really work, to self forgive yourself for allowing it to work this way and then to expose the dishonesty and abuse about the system to help others see as well to strengthen the group that must be one and equal to bring change. The change will be common sense once one develop a self honest sense.”
Bernard Poolman

2.     Right Intention

Wholehearted resolution and dedication to overcoming the
dislocation of self-centered craving through the development
of loving kindness, empathy and compassion.

What we have discovered is how many of us wanted to ‘change the world’ and ‘change ourselves’ from the starting point of bettering ourselves, being ‘more’ than what we perceived ourselves to be, sometimes even trying to gain some self-worth through ‘altruistic works.’ We wanted to create a sense of completion through ‘saving others’ and pretending to care without ever first asking ourselves Why and How we have accepted and allowed ourselves to perpetuate a system where there is not enough for everyone? How come we were trying to save others and ‘care for another’ without first even daring to care for our own lives? We never realized that we had to first make of ourselves the point of our existence.

All of these efforts were done in separation, disregarding the vital questions that are now the starting point of the solution we are presenting for this world: we cannot go around perpetuating charity and ‘good intentions’ while inflating our egos with any form of experience stemming from the gratitude that one would get by doing something that should be a living right, that should be readily given by virtue of being alive. Altruism is definitely another ego trip wherein one can get a fluffy feeling out of supporting someone that has been born in miserable conditions by default. This is unacceptable.

I’ve had short-lived experiences within this and being part of ‘missions’ wherein you go and live in the house of poor people and ‘live as they do’ for some 4 days to apparently get a reality check, while having the certainty that, no matter what, you will have a bus coming to pick you up and go back to your house where all food, comfort and $ecurity is in place. These types of actions might give you a little taste of what being poor is like, however it will never be like actually living within the fact that you have no possibility of stepping out of that system because there are no choices for you. However, it did give me a great lesson: I cannot cross my arms and do nothing about it. That’s how I sought for ‘answers’ in all places, including spirituality – to no avail, of course. It is now that I am able to stand for a feasible solution that will enable an actual platform of support for all beings in this world.

Hence the decision to live a process of Self Realization as Life is able to be lived/walked within the starting point of Ourselves. This means first getting to actually accept ourselves, while learning how to practically stop the constant/ consistent self-repetition of patterns and cycles that are not supportive for anyone in this world.  The Intention is at all times that of supporting ourselves to understand what it means to live as equals, which, for the most part, is not trying to become something ‘wonderful’ or ‘marvelous’ according to any sort of belief that could point out that we are actually that. The intention must be based on what is best for all at all times. As the saying goes: The road to hell is paved with good intentions – which is how any ‘intention’ is merely the starting point that must be fully and thoroughly walked to its completion – otherwise, the middle road is simply something unacceptable.

We’ve learned how to first look at ourselves, and within stopping our inner turmoil, fears, beliefs, and judgments, we are then able to start looking outside ourselves to see the magnitude and extent of work that must be done in order to create a world that’s acceptable to live in for all living beings.  We understand that ‘love’ is not real and that any form of kindness is often linked to a point of self interest wherein we only care enough because there is some benefit for us.

We focus on ourselves and learn to accept and give to ourselves that which we have perceived ourselves to lack; we learn that we can only exist as limitations of being ‘too flawed to change’ and ‘way too fucked up to correct ourselves’ if we remain in that intention of change without taking it full-on and living it/ applying it as the necessary process of Self-Correction to live as who we really are. This is a living decision that is not only built out of nice words and great intentions, but lived fully and completely wherein actual change is lived as self, which will then inevitably so within standing together as a group, and become the platform to create a world system that supports All Equally.

One can only desire to help because of tacitly accepting and allowing a disadvantage point as the foundation of our current reality: this is unacceptable.

3.     Right Speech

Abstinence from lies and deceptions, backbiting, idle
babble and abusive speech. Cultivate honesty and
truthfulness; practice speech that is kind and benevolent.
Let your words reflect your desire to help, not harm others.

Being the living word – being Self Honest – daring to see the truth that lies behind the usual characters that we use to play the game within society, where we manipulate each other and trick ourselves into striving to be the eventual ‘winner’ of it all, uttering words of apparent benevolence, hiding the actual ‘gist’ of it all which is mostly self interest and a sheer lack of common sense.

What are lies but only a way to hide ourselves from our responsibility toward who we are and what we have created? Therefore, lies would not even have to be ‘avoided,’ but simply seen for what they are: ways in which we manipulate each other to believe something of ourselves that we are not, ways to win, ways to be apparently ‘more than.’ It’s fairly simply – lying leads to making up statements/judgments that are simply not supportive for anyone.

Backchatting/ backbiting, idle babble and talking to ourselves are forms of mental possession wherein we can only become aware of one thing: we’re not HERE considering the physical reality that doesn’t require our marvelous human input to judge/ point out and essentially denigrate a reality that we have become so used to continuously judging, and within doing so, creating self-judgment that eventually becomes ‘who we are’ at all levels. We have already spoiled this reality to a great extent due to our ‘rationalization’ of reality wherein logic is taught in schools, losing sight of what ‘common sense within the consideration of all beings equally’ actually entails.

Hatred, harm, violence, abuse, denigration can only exist if one has not first debunked such words for what they are/stand for in their very ‘nature.’ There’s no doubt that we as humanity can get to know ourselves through the words that exist here as proof of the extent of separation we have created from who we really are. Such self-loathing and self-deprecation can only be created in a mind which then turns into a living-reality for many who are currently forced to suffer the outcome of such violence within wars, forced labor, family violence, social rejection and any other form of abuse we can name with words/ concepts.

Thus, what would speaking about such fallacies and intangible concepts such as ‘love’ and ‘light’ as a ‘non-physical energetic luminosity’ indicate about us human beings? Nothing else but a deluded ‘suit of benevolence’ as a ‘nice personality’ that is only seeking and sticking to positivity because of believing that, by doing this, the ‘other side’ as negativity and all the ‘bad stuff’ in this world will eat itself, which is obviously a rather naïve way of wanting to look at this world. Just another self-manipulative form to talk ourselves into a heavenly mental-reality that is nowhere to be seen or found in this physical-reality where the exact opposite is all that I can confirm: there is no god, and we are the ones that have created all this, so we must cut the positive perorate to actually take Self Responsibility for this world.

We don’t require to speak of ‘love’ and ‘light’ or ‘positivity,’ or use words to portray ourselves as pseudo-gods, instead we act and live words that can create and depict what we are here to be and become as life, words that represent who we really are, words that we can use to heal us, words that actually mean something because we live them – not words that have been extensively used and abused as a means of selling an idea of what ‘love’ and ‘compassion’ is. We don’t know what those words are, simply because all words are currently tainted by our current monetary system which has been the foundation of what we call a ‘life.’

Because of this, we must learn how to Live the Words we Speak – by saying this, we can see that many of the words that we currently use to define ourselves and the world will not exist, because they were never meant to support Life or Self Expression. Within walking a process of being the living word, we realize that our vocabulary must be self-corrected and ‘purified’ to see if such words are able to stand as who we really are, or were simply supporting a system of separation and self-deprecation.

4.     Right Action

 

Practice self-less conduct that reflects the highest
statement of the life you want to live. Express conduct
that is peaceful, honest and pure showing compassion
for all beings.

We could carry ourselves with as much grace on the outside yet feeling like shit on the inside and still be regarded as being ‘peaceful’ and ‘honest,’ or ‘unbreakable,’ being ‘tolerant’ while raging inside ourselves, continuing to suppress our ‘true nature’ which comes in the form of thoughts that can only be hidden for so long until there is no other valve of escape left, which is how any form of limitation to only act in ‘the right way’ leads to a point of self-limitation. This is what morality does and the same applies to any of the current points we’re revisiting here. See how the word ‘right’ is used as a direction toward only looking at a single side of the coin, which is tacitly implying that we must not look/ direct ourselves on the other side – what would be the ‘wrong’ actions then?

We don’t require to name them all – we just have to ask ourselves what is causing harm and abuse in this world and we’ll get an idea of that which is not best for all/ the wrong actions, and we can get our answer within looking at the byproducts of capitalism. How could we then try to ‘cover the sun with one finger’ and stick to ‘right actions’ while the very foundation of this world is misery, abuse, jealousy, hatred, disregard of any other being as ourselves? Unless we learn how to correct ourselves and stand up from that ‘shady side’ of our reality, we’ll continue living in fear while sticking ourselves to the ‘right side.’ Self Honesty is not nice or beautiful, which implies that we will have to face those dark corridors within our own mind and walk through them with Self Forgiveness to actually realize that all the ‘evil’ in this world has been created by ourselves, and within ourselves.

5.     Right Livelihood

Avoidance of work that causes suffering to others or that
makes a decent, virtuous life impossible. Do not engage
in any occupation that opposes or distracts one from the
path. Love and serve our world through your work.

It is definitely not about showing a graceful smile and pretending to be ‘at ease’ while doing the ‘right thing.’ It is about actually living in Self Honesty, which will mostly bring out the true demons that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to become. How could we dare to think that being devoid of any apparent desire will automatically lead us to some greater experience in life – that is absolutely ludicrous. None of these ‘selfless conducts’ will work because even if you see yourself ‘devoid’ of such mind and thoughts and had ‘positive self-talk’ to have your ‘peace of mind,’ you will still have to buy food to eat and coexist with the rest of the world that is still based/ founded upon abuse. What if there comes a situation where you are not able to get any money to buy food or have a place to live? I bet that such ‘pure expression’ becomes pure anger and frustration for not having created a solution that involved Equal Support for all living beings. Do we have to go that far?

We are already engaged within a world wherein we are inherently supporting a system of abuse. How come we never saw the obvious? How come we never questioned how Money had become the decisive factor between life and death for billions of beings on this planet? How come we have created such an artificial system and dare to accept it ‘as it is?’ Such ignorance is over – the way to live in common sense Here is giving equal access to resources and services that enable life within our current societies. Literally giving to each other what we want for ourselves – there can be nothing ‘greater’ than that.

The Right livelihood must be what is best for all, and that implies taking the necessary steps to intervene within the current political scenario in order to establish a solution that will require no further ‘benevolence’ than taking one single action: providing support for all beings to have a dignified life here. Sustaining such a system within actions that count and accumulate toward what’s best for all will be our day-to-day living.


6. Right Effort

Seek to make the balance between the exertion of following
the spiritual path and a moderate life that is not over-zealous.
Work to develop more wholesome mind states, while gently
striving to go deeper and live more fully.

There would be no need to ‘seek balance’ between two poles that should not even exist as such in the first place. We can only seek balance by continuously fighting ourselves as ‘energy,’ as thoughts/ emotions/ feelings that create this entire ‘extra-reality’ as an ‘extra-dimension’ in separation of who we really are as physical living beings, that could simply become used to doing what’s best for all, as natural as breathing. There is no need to create an ‘extra effort’ if we move at the physical pace of living and breathing – directing ourselves every  moment to simply sustain a proper living-reality for all, which obviously includes ourselves.

There is no need to ‘moderate life’ if Life is walked as a Principle wherein all is considered – all excess, all deprivation are but mind-created dysfunctions that are not in accordance with what the physical requires, to the physical reality that is constant and consistent. This will certainly imply getting to know what it is to ‘live in moderation’ as a best-for-all type of living at a physical level. Money won’t exist as a limitation, therefore ‘living fully’ can only come once an Equal Money System is established so that we can focus on discovering what Life/ Living is really like in consideration of all within the same reality-equation.

There is no need to ‘work-out’ the mind – it is about stopping the mind from creating an alternate invisible reality with programmed patterns that have no correlation to what is HERE. No need to seek such ‘spiritual path’ because the steps are already here and they are all dramatically mundane which might ‘crush the heart’ of many that still thought there could be something magnificently ‘godly’ about it all in the sense of light, angels, masters and some ‘golden’ type of divinity.


7. Right Mindfulness

Through constant vigilance in thought, speech and action
seek to rid the mind of self-centered thoughts that separate
and replace them with those that bind all beings together.
Be aware of your thoughts, emotions, body and world as they
exist in the present moment. Your thoughts create your reality.

Thoughts exist in the ‘present moment’ tied to a past and a future within/ as consciousness = a limited system that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to call ‘life.’ If our thoughts would create our reality, then by me creating ‘positive thoughts’ it would imply that I could have already stopped world hunger and human trafficking in this world, which obviously hasn’t happened at all.

It is not to become a constant ‘policeman in the head,’ a constant vigilante of ourselves, but being aware of such thoughts in order to take responsibility for them and walk an actual process of self-correction. Desteni is then the right place to learn how to ‘walk the talk’ and actually become the living words that will be supportive for all beings here.

8. Right Concentration

Through the application of meditation and mental discipline seek to extinguish the last flame of grasping consciousness and develop an emptiness that has room to embrace and love all things.

The mind as the con-center is certainly not the way to go. There is no meditation required other than seeing the world as it is and taking the necessary actions in order to enable LIFE to be equalized in this world. There is no need to create a ‘void’ to embrace – it is about mingling as one and equal with/ as everything and everyone that is equally here. That sounds great, and it is certainly easier said than done, but we cannot remain in the bubble of speaking nice words and talking about paths without having a direct confirmation of us ‘living the change’ that we want to see in this world.

When our attention and focus is here in the physical world, we will already be one point that stops the usual conflict that creates wars and segregation within our reality. This gives us then the ability to focus on doing what is necessary to create a world that’s best for all. It won’t be meditating, it won’t be preaching, it won’t be repeating mantras or praying to a non-existent god, but walking the correction and actions ourselves because that is, in essence, where we have missed ourselves.

Walk with us at Desteni and become part of the new Culture of Life that doesn’t require a doctrine to follow other than a single principle: What is Best for All – this will certainly end all suffering in this world.

A Must-Hear to understand what Practivism is:

 

2012: World Transformation – The How-To

And Buddha opening his eyes after a prolonged meditation, realized that he was still living in a world where abuse, suffering, poverty, starvation were existing. Where had he been while seeking Nirvana? Did that make any difference to this world?


Be-Lame

“It’s all your fault!”  How many times have we been ‘impressed’ by these words and taken them personally, creating an experience that runs through our body as a mix of fear, guilt, shame, embarrassment eventually resulting in us feeling like ‘shit,’ because it is apparently ‘our fault’ and now we are the scum of the Earth because: we fucked up.

Hearing these words directed toward myself was something quite common when I was a child – I would be automatically pointed at for anything that would go wrong in my house. Sometimes I had actually been the one that caused something to break or be ‘in disorder’ because of my own negligence/ laziness, some other times it was just ‘out of habit’ that anything wrong would be then ‘my fault’ and questions would not be asked, but only fingers  would point at me; I would then try and defend myself, usually sobbing and already in that ‘victimized’ state saying ‘it wasn’t me,’ but it’s as if any form of credibility had been lost from a series of events where I had been the actual ‘cause’ which is how then one builds a certain ‘reputation’ that can work for either one’s curse throughout life or benefit. I’ve experienced it both ways – for now I’ll debunk the first one.

 

I can see myself as this pattern of being blamed for shit hitting the fan and getting this constant ‘nagging’ about things that I had to do and I wouldn’t do, being quite a ‘disorderly’ person, very lazy and with a great inertia as a resistance to not move if I didn’t have to. I was the type of person that would get from school, eat, go upstairs and plug myself to watch ( M)TV the whole time, this includes the time while I would do my homework – I would only be rather ‘responsible’ and turn it off for proper concentration when studying for exams. I never had any problems with this because I did ‘well’ in school, so my parents probably thought I was some type of lucky person for being able to be responsible and get excellent grades even when spending long hours watching TV.  I became very sedentary, only caring to be in front of the TV and getting more and more sucked into being entertained or rather ‘stimulated’ the whole time. This is just a ‘background’ perspective on how I could be quite careless within my reality which is what lead me to neglect doing tasks and having my world in order; this is how I would get constantly ‘nagged’ for not being an orderly person, not taking care of my stuff and within that,  ‘being blamed for’ things because I was the only one that was such a ‘disaster’ at home.

It is now that I realize how what others say about us might influence us in deeper ways than we are able to notice in that moment. I can see as I write about ‘being blamed’ for shit happening around in my reality, that I ended up believing myself to actually be the cause for shit happening in my world. And I am only now seeing these old memories of how much I took it all personal and how I would write/ speak to myself that ‘I wasn’t loved’ in my family and that ‘I bet they would all be happier if I wasn’t part of the family’ – these thoughts would come up within an entire attire of self-victimization experiencing sadness and belittling myself/ feeling sorry about myself.  I would usually leave the dinner table whenever I was told something along the lines of ‘you caused this shit.’ Parents and sisters would sometimes direct heavy words towards me – or each other for that matter – and I can speak for myself how I would take them deeply seriously and never considered at all that they were only speaking about themselves and only using anyone as an ‘outlet’ for their own personal problems, anger and frustration.

By ‘heavy words’ I mean offenses, cursing that would come out with great ease such as from my father’s mouth. I would only resort to cry because that’s all I knew at that time, feeling bad about what he had said about me in that moment of anger for whatever cause it was, and eventually having my mother coming up to me and explaining that he was just in a bad mood and that he really ‘didn’t mean it.’ And it was indeed just him exerting his own emotions on to anyone else, which is one of the patterns I’ve shared here before in terms of blaming others about stuff that is only a way to not face our own responsibility, which I have also played out to a great extent throughout my life.  Thus, I have realized how this was never actually ‘about me’ but about each person directing their anger on to each other. It’s very clear here how a lot of shit can fly around within the context of a ‘family’ because it is a group of beings facing each one’s programming in different shades – hence the ‘confrontation’ with oneself is more clear and direct, spiced up by the notorious different personalities that ‘mask’ the differentiation that exist at the core level of DNA.

 

When taking such words and scolding as ‘real’ and within me defining myself as being very sensitive to people’s words, I would always take it personally and within this, drown myself into a deep grudge toward the person until I realized how it all worked by me holding that memory of ‘being offended’ and link it to the person, which became quite obvious when after several days I would have to ‘recall’ that I was ‘mad at this person for having said this/ that about me.’  I would mostly then ‘forgive’ in a way that I would be able to talk to that family member/ person again.  Similar situations to the one I explained about my father also happened with my mother and sisters – within this, all I created of and for myself was a nice suit of victimization wherein my mother would sometimes point out how I was making a ‘big deal out of it,’ but I would mostly only argue for my limitations because in a way, I wanted them to ‘feel bad’ for having ‘made me feel bad’ and in that, we can see how this coming and going create endless drama, retaliation, desire for ‘vengeance’ that would turn into grudge-scabs that we would tear off from time to time to bring the memory up again and use it as a way to manipulate and have an effect on another.

This is absolutely unnecessary as we now can see – yet this becomes even at a human-culture level ‘how things work’ in the family. It has become such a cliché that we cannot conceive a family that could live in equal ways wherein there was ‘no shit flying around.’ As human beings we have accepted these ‘fucked up’ relationships in our very own house and from this, manifest this entire world as it is: a world/system of retaliation, seeking vengeance, holding grudges, calling names, wanting others to ‘feel’ what they have ‘done onto us,’ seeking ‘to be the favorite one,’ comparing ourselves to each other, finding our ‘place’ in some form/role in the family wherein we can only support our own ‘life experience’ as something real, as ‘who we are’ which is obviously not based in common sense and an actual integration as part of an entire society, but remain living within/as that survival mechanism.

We become ‘who we are’ in this nest that we call ‘home’ and from there, we accept this role and carry it as ourselves throughout or lives. We accept and allow ourselves to remain in that same shape and mold that we create mostly through our early years in this world. And it is within that very first relationship with our parents and how our parents ‘treat us’ that we will then walk through the world believing it is ‘who we are,’ simply because we had not been able to realize and understand that it was never about ‘us’ in fact,  but it was always about them creating this relationship toward ‘ourselves’ as their children which was only them playing out their own relationship toward themselves in their own mind. Fascinating stuff however, we didn’t know  about this until now.

I became aware of how it was even ‘cool’ to have and almost cherish this something I could ‘brag about’ toward my parents, it was a way of having the power to blackmail them for ever having ‘hurt me’ in such a way, which is obviously unacceptable. Yet, this type of patterns are played out by many, many human beings in their personal relationships; this is very common in marriages for example, where it becomes a dog eat dog type of relationship wherein people bring up memories and each others shit and throw it at each other without ever being able to see the harm that they are inflicting not only to themselves as a couple, but kids if they have any in such ‘family’ scenario. It is truly unacceptable, and this brings up the title of one six feet under episode: ‘Terror starts at home’ which is true as this is the first ‘entry’ we have of the world in our mind – we will accordingly walk into this world within/as the shape that we acquire within the family nucleus and often remain like that for an entire lifetime, without realizing that who really am  as life, as one and equal has nothing to do with the role I got to play as a child at home, who I am is not the character that would get easily offended or ‘hurt’ by  words that any family member  used to deprecate myself in anyway,  as now I see and realize it was never about ‘me’ but themselves all the time.

This is how it is ludicrous to continue accepting and holding this image of ourselves as ‘who we are’ because it was simply an entire personality created and shaped according to the conditions that we were born into, which as we know, are not based on ‘what’s best for all’ but only according to the rules of a fucked up system that we have accepted and allowed without any question before. Carrying ourselves as self-limited boxes of memories as ‘who we are’ and bringing up all of these reasons as to ‘why we are the way we are’ is only another excuse to not dare to step out of the victimization role and take self responsibility. It was almost ‘painful’ having to see that I had lived as a victim asking ‘why’ all the time instead of asking ‘how’ I had accepted and allowed the entire situation in life, how it is not only about ‘me’ but about walking an entire program wherein no self-awareness was existent – I mean, Self Forgiveness here is really forgiving ourselves for merely playing out roles that were solely programmed to cause conflict and separation within our lives, never being able to self-forgive because some other form of ‘intermediary’ was then created/ sought which is how God probably came into the play = another form to avoid confronting the reality that we had created between ourselves.

No matter what ‘intensity’ of it, any form of name-calling, point-finger done in absolute self-indulgence creates consequences that reverberate throughout a being’s life without it being even ‘noticeable’ by the person as it becomes just part of the self-definition that we take on because: that is all we know. This is how it is vital that as parents, human beings are able to understand how each and every single word uttered toward their kids will have a direct influence within their lives because of their receptive condition to accept what they are taught as ‘how things are.’  It is thus unacceptable to continue disregarding the fact that anyone that wants to be/ become a parent must first walk a process of self-responsibility in Self Honesty to ensure that none of our personal bs as a preprogrammed limited consciousness systems is passed on toward a child that walks into this world in such an innocent manner, wherein anything that ‘father’ or ‘mother’ says becomes ‘the law’ and ‘how things are’ without ever questioning – or even having the ability to question – why it is that we are accepting and allowing ourselves to diminish ourselves by words/ thoughts that others may utter toward ourselves?

In my experience I saw how I took on such words as ‘who I am’ and no matter how I would see myself not being ‘stupid’ or a ‘dumbass,’ I would use such memories of others  saying that to me so that I could go back to ‘feeling bad’ about myself and within this, justify my separation and general segregation from the rest of my family. That’s how I justified myself ‘not belonging to that family’ and creating this general ‘silent’ grudge toward them all because of me believing all the words they would say. As a child I sometimes got to speak about this with my mother, and she would say exactly the same, how such words were only coming from their own anger and self experience, that they weren’t about ‘me’ per se, but still I decided that the whole thing was very real and I would rather choose to be sensitive about it because I thought that my mother was only trying to ‘make it all look better’ than what it was – meaning, trying to excuse my sisters/ father or herself for the words that were said. In that moment I decided to ‘not buy it,’ instead I lived out this separation that I  justified with creating an entire personality suit that I’ve deemed as the ‘black sheep in the family,’ just walking a road that I designed in opposite direction to the one I saw my sisters were taking on, just because of not wanting to be ‘predictable’ and following their entire set of preferences and lifestyle.

This was a deliberate point of self-manipulation as well so that I would not have to actually face myself within the family system, but instead build myself a comfortable niche to be the ‘odd one’ and thus have a ‘place’ within that ‘oddity’ so to speak. Once I got to understand this, I then went into a polarity of being ‘unbreakable’ so to speak but not through an actual understanding of such beings speaking only about their own limitations, but in a form of defense mechanism wherein reactions would still come up without working with them, it was only a façade and in that, I wasn’t actually working with stopping my reactions. I didn’t know of Self Forgiveness so I simply did my best to ‘cope with the world’ without ever really looking at my reactions and how I was only shoving them away while pretending ‘nothing could hurt me now’ which is something I’ve shared before in the hard and soft veneers blog. I see that’s how I saw ‘being/ becoming an artist’ quite a cool and acceptable role within society, being ‘eccentric’ yet part of the ‘whole’ in a distinctive manner.

Now that I see, my ‘choices’ in life were then stemming from this entire personality development: from the victim, to the rebel to self-righteousness that I exerted as my career choice, the type of friends/ relationships I had, the type of life I dreamed of having, the type of music I would listen, the clothes I wear, the interests, morality, values – all of it was then specifically designed/ chosen by myself having this starting point of almost creating an unconscious retaliation toward my family/ the family system I was born into.

I had ‘seen’ this before through this process and writing this out, how I had only played out that odd-polarity that was sticking out within the family pattern – however, I had not seen how it had all begun from these early experiences of ‘being hurt’ by others’ words such as ‘being blamed for everything that went wrong’ and within this, belittling myself, wanting to just ‘leave home’ in my mind because I thought that I was not ‘loved’ there and that I was only like this undesired child that had come to interrupt their happy-family life. I mean, I am writing the thoughts as I am recalling them, I think I even wrote this out when I was quite young when I would use writings as a catalyzer to cry and feeling sorry about myself, as a con.firmation of ‘the world being a fuckup/ mean place to live in’ and within this, believing that the only way to coexist in it was through not participating in the same ‘game’ that I would see the entire family and then ‘society’ was playing out, never realizing how the personality that I developed as myself was in fact absolutely defined and created in-opposition to my family. It’s just like an atheist that is still defining himself/herself according to the Non-existence of a god – and within this obviously still confirming the existence of a god as a concept – and curiously enough – belief in itself.

So,  now we are aware of how within this system, every word that anyone may speak toward another is actually about themselves. Now, it’s not to be self-dishonest and then talk about light and love and flowers to others because of wanting  you to see yourself/ portray yourself in such a nice way, which is how a lot of people is currently ‘functioning’ at a mind level. Talking yourself into positivity is certainly Not the way to walk Self Honesty. It is about becoming aware of every judgment that we may create toward something/ someone, and instead of believing that to be ‘actually so,’ we take it back to self and see where and how we are existing as such judgment toward ourselves. This has been one of the key points I’ve learned through Desteni, wherein we take Self Responsibility for everything we do and say because we understand that we cannot ‘affect’ another but ourselves in any way, so this is how walking oneness and equality practically becomes a point that we then ‘keep in mind’ to always take a moment to ‘watch our words’ for the sake of being aware that what we think/ communicate actually support what is best for all, and not only come out as preprogrammed babble that reinforces some type of mental limitation and judgment that has no-place to be here in Self Honesty.

I am able to write about it and see it for what it is, there are no strings attached toward my parents or sisters on this topic as I now understand how this process o projecting blame and one’s frustration and anger onto others was a common thing without the ‘scolded’ one ever knowing that it was never about ‘me’/ ‘them’ but the person themselves. This is how we see things ‘for what they are’ and break the links/ chains that we tend to create the moment we link experiences and hold those experiences as ‘who we are’ without ever questioning them.

Within taking Self Responsibility for each word we think, speak and how we interact toward each others, we are able to stop all the unnecessary conflict that is created when we become just blabbering fools arguing for our own limitations and experiences without realizing that anything we say or do is revealing nothing else but who we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

Time to stop blaming others or being-lame ourselves for buying into words that do not support who we really are. By breaking that retaliation toward ourselves as our mind and toward others in our world, we will stop the current war we are all living in this world.


Reality Check: Sharing Desteni

 

I was listening to the video  2012: The Family Tree System vs. Tree of Life and I noticed how my current experience toward Family has changed throughout this process.

Last December that I spent time with them, I saw how I was no longer playing the ‘antagonist’ or ‘the black sheep’ as I used to throughout my time with them before and at the beginning of this process. It’s been quite a walk to say the least from the times when I literally fed them all up with me only talking about ‘Desteni’ as all knowledge and information that I simply got very excited about, but wasn’t applying/ living it at all. The same can be applied to all ‘friends’ that I simply ‘left’ because they weren’t apparently able to ‘catch up’ with ‘where I was’ which was only watching and reading the material without having any substantial process to share as my own application. 

A cool indication about this is when I was sharing about Desteni back in 2008 with an ex-partner and even though he had some background on stuff like Lovecraft and other dimensions, the entire ‘portal’ thing simply seemed as bizarre as it could get. Imagine, this is now the ‘apparently’ open people and within that I simply became quite fixated on the idea of having to explain Desteni from the perspective of ‘the portal’ and all of that aspect which is not what’s really relevant, but the message itself. I would stumble upon my own words and eventually ‘gave up’ in trying to explain it. I later on probably got to know that friends/ people that knew me were a bit ‘concerned’ about me because I had simply detached and talking only about Desteni, wanting to simply speak out the knowledge without any practical reference to it. These type of situations became prominent with my family as well, until I realized through the support given while walking this process that was about us applying the process and not trying to change the world with knowledge and information.

From that moment I began slowing down and looking at the point of living-the-words instead of speaking the words and trying to make people understand from the starting point of this ‘being the truth’ or any other vantage point like that.

 

I learned ‘the hard way’ how sharing Desteni is not to share only knowledge and information to friends/ family as I lead myself to then walk an entire phase wherein I created this extreme uncomfortable experience for myself, feeling once again like ‘I didn’t belong here’ and using this as an excuse to single myself-out within the entire structure, as if I had already ‘overcome’ it somehow.  I didn’t want to see that I was only creating myself as something/ someone ‘superior’ because of all of this ‘knowledge’ that I had, yet wasn’t living fully as myself which was quite obvious because the moment that we begin grasping what living as Equals implies, we see and understand how any form of stance/ consideration that we place onto others – family, friends or anyone else in this world – is only ‘speaking’ / reflecting what is existent within us.

I can see that how most of the points that I have been able to ‘discover’ as ingrained treats and quirks have been mostly what I could point out in my parents for example, which came as a bucket of cold water in that moment because of how we as ‘the children’ (I’ve asked if there is a word in English that can explain sons/ daughters in one word to indicate the name for the people that have the same father and mother, if anyone knows leave a comment, children sounds too childish) tend to create this general conflict and opposition toward our parents. It’s clear to me how we have to walk through these family relationships first as it is in essence walking the core-relationships in our world that have shaped us in a literal way through the DNA, but also as the most immediate environment wherein our entire conception and general understanding of the world is created.

 

In the beginning of this process, I neglected this point and went into an entire seclusion and shifted my entire participation with them.  I did have a ‘hard time’ walking through this for the most part, simply because I would exist in a constant observer-mode wherein I thought that because of being profiling them and ‘understanding how their mind worked’ gave me some sort of ability to now judge them or point out shit in them without ever first taking the point back to myself.

I can also say that I have now asserted myself in my family in terms of everyone being aware of what I stand for, how and why I stand for life in Equality. It’s been a process of me stopping all reactions to the various words, judgments and general reactions that any other person could express and made sure that I simply establish myself as that point that supports myself before continuing trying to ‘change my family’ or anyone else. I mean, it was quite a drag when trying/ attempting to change them and preach all that I would learn from the Desteni videos back then and almost exhort them to ‘do as I said or they will be fucked for life’ – That was not the way and all that I got out of that was simply being almost ‘feared,’ wherein they would mostly not speak when I was around because of me immediately jumping into the conversation with judgments and pointing fingers at them or about the topic that was discussed, judging what they were watching on the TV (still walking that point that still comes at times.)  I’ve learned how to slow down and listen – and this is part of an ongoing process as I tend to round the points and create conclusions in a rather rushed manner, wanting to immediately reply to avoid what I’ve judged as the chit-chat, which is part of me having been a rather ‘anxious’ person that wants everything to be solved and directed immediately, without living/ applying that as myself in everything I do yet. So, it’s cool how every single bit is able to show/ reveal us where we have to equalize ourselves and our starting point of everything we do and share.

 

It is also true that not living with my family for the past 5  and a half years seem like an appropriate thing to do in terms of being able to face myself alone. But visiting and talking to them from time to time is also cool as my own reality-check. I actually got to enjoy the time that I spent with them at home last December. I allowed myself to stop judging them, allow myself to sit on the table and talk, share, just spend time with them which is something that I hadn’t done before because I had regarded it as a waste of time, simply because my starting point was already that of opposing them/ disliking them which then became my entire experience around them. Took a while to get to this point of now being able to sit and talk and share openly without fearing to be judged or being in a defensive mode with my superiority stance of ‘I know better/ I know how it all really works’ which becomes quite a drag in general.

 

What’s interesting is that for the most part they have communicated how they would not be able to ‘see themselves’ doing what I’m doing – they still consider that walking this process is something really hard and they still consider that walking this process is something ‘really hard’ and they have expressed how it is mostly something that they would not do. Yet they are supportive with their due ‘reserves’ in terms of me having a life that doesn’t follow the usual family patterns. They have gotten used to that for now or getting used to the idea of it and what it implies.

 

What I see is that I am not currently having any constant ‘relationships’ other than bits of interaction with the people that I live with and coworkers in school which has been a cool point to test myself in terms of stopping profiling people and actually being open and willing to learn from them all. I mean, they’re all males in their late 20’s, 30’s and 40’s lol so I’ve been able to learn more about those different phases in their lives and see what they’re all about. That phase is about to be over as well and I’m also grateful that I was able to have that experience because I know they are people that I wouldn’t have deliberately placed myself to be around with everyday for 6 months. I guess this is what we can call ‘walking the matrix’ wherein we stand as what/ who we are no matter where we are, being in the system but not OF the system and in the meantime, share, communicate enough to be able to expand a bit on people’s perspective about reality/ this world. I definitely enjoyed any moment that I was able to support another to see some aspect in common sense not previously seen or understood. 

I also had long discussions with them on how self responsibility is created by the single fact of living in this world and using money.  That became quite a big point point of discussion wherein they simply refused to open up about it, I saw that I couldn’t go further into it. So within these situations it’s not like a YouTube platform wherein you can just stop replying or decide to not approve their comments because of not getting it, it’s not like you can just walk out of the job because of not agreeing with the people there, that would be a rather foolish thing to do. So we learn how to walk in the system that way.

 

Back to my family/ parents I discovered that I enjoy talking to them when it comes to sharing our human-experiences. Through this process and after quite a while, I can say that I’ve gotten to a point wherein I can talk to them about what we do at Desteni, what I’ve understood, what I’ve realized and they also ask me for perspectives on stuff they are facing or cases from their friends/ other family members experiences. My mother shared the other day that what I had shared with her in relation to being able to stop her preoccupation thoughts,  linked to fears and general absurd/ out of place ‘worrying’ thoughts was quite supportive. It’s been cool opening up and speaking about reality and topics that they are also able to see/ understand no matter how ‘harsh’ it may seem. I mean, as far as ‘god’ it’s been mostly like only a ghost they still like to still cling on to out of habit only, because they realize that there is no way that it can possibly exist in this world because in common sense they can now see that the extent of abuse and suffering cannot possibly be part a ‘divine plan’ for Earth. I’ve been quite ‘outspoken’ after I stopped silencing myself around them and only holding eternal judgments and resentment for past situations toward them.

I am also aware that probably after a while of me speaking and sharing about some points, they might have heard something here and there and applied it for themselves.  I have stopped pushing them to apply Self Forgiveness or kill their god completely. I’ve learned how to measure myself in terms of sharing wherein I would go quite up in flames trying to prove my point and prove myself right without having actually walked the point myself, at least to be able to talk about it in a more relaxed manner and not out of anger, irritation and judgment. I am still ‘getting here’ in terms of not reacting immediately as a form of saying ‘I told you so!’ in terms of what they share and the experiences that could have been prevented if listening before. I also accept that each one is walking/ facing their process and me wanting to prevent their fuckups will still be coming from the ‘savior syndrome.’

I’m just glad I’m able to speak and share about how things are and push the envelope every time wherein we can discuss about the life-long patterns they’ve lived wherein I am obviously also facing myself as well. I’ve shared here in terms of seeing patterns with my father and myself for example and being able to discuss the points directly with him which is cool. I cannot possibly deny I am both of them and when talking with them about their quirks, patterns, thoughts and experiences, it is undeniable to not see myself in that. So, it’s been supportive for me to communicate and get to know a bit more about them speaking not from the ‘daughter’ perspective, but as another human being.

 

I mostly like breaking that initial ‘mirage’ that family roles-characters create wherein the ‘children’ are not supposed to talk about certain things or question their parents or ‘support them’ in anything in terms of facing themselves. One would usually think that because children are younger, they are not supposed to be ‘wise enough’ to support another – this is now the language used by them to define that ‘support’ as ‘being wise’ but it’s really just common sense that anyone can educate themselves to live and apply.

 

As much as this process has also been ‘painful’ for them in terms of me having been quite a ‘rebel’ through my teens in terms of ‘not fitting in the family scheme,’ and then having this 180 degree shift within this process wherein they certainly thought that it was just ‘another phase’ in my life, it is now  ‘acceptable’ for them to support me because they are aware of what I stand for, how I live it and share it. They are aware and supporting me in my future plans even if it is ‘not so cool’ for them in terms of not seeing me that much, but they are aware that my plans in life will not follow the patterns walked so far  in terms of my sisters having a settled life with kids and forming their own families. It’s cool that I have been able to witness  how people get married and settle down, have kids and dedicate themselves to that. I cannot possibly see myself in that, I’ve got the whole world here as the opportunity to walk and support myself first and become a point of support for others. I told my parents last time that I saw them how this is what I will be doing for life and this is all I can see myself doing for life which in essence means: I’m dedicating myself to live, to realize what Life actually is and support others in such process as well. I’ve seen how they’ve walked the process of questioning me and my starting point to simply having to agree as they see/ realize and can witness that what I say, I actually do and walk as myself full-on.

 

For now I am aware that I’m still here and willing to walk the process of equalizing myself as family members – this is definitely not done, but for the most part I can definitely say that after all these years there are considerable changes in our interactions wherein I have stopped antagonizing or holding a grudge toward my mother, that’s part of the points that have been walked with here also supporting herself within writing ‘in her own way’ as she never participated in Desteni, but what she learns and applies has supported her to let go of some points which has benefited our relationship/ interaction as well. It’s also cool because she ‘knows’ me very well from that mother-daughter perspective, hence all the ‘changes’ that she would have never expected are also a cool confirmation in terms of stepping out of the predictability – as well as her being able to point out any minor shift like irritation/ frustration/ me raising my voice as a result of this and being able to point it out right away. That’s also part of the points that not many people are able to do because we haven’t spent that much time with other beings in our reality other than our family – well, that’s been my case at least.

Now, this is not saying ‘all is fine’ but simply sharing how I see/ realize that we’re able to communicate with our family in equality, seeing how anything   that I could be backchatting about them can be taken back to myself directly. Now I almost ‘freeze’ myself whenever I  go into immediate projection about ‘something’ that I could point out to them without having first pointed it out in myself.

A clear example is how I can share with my father points of irrational anger and how I would sometimes want to go and exert that anger to someone or even being physically aggressive – he’s had the same throughout his life, so we’ve walked point by point how to breathe through it and stop the anger possession and the imagination of actually going and hitting the person because of any possible reason. We have also shared these extreme ways of having everything done ‘our way’ and if something doesn’t work out as we expected, we burst out in anger and get all desperate and wanting to just blame others/ the entire world for the consequences that we have created. These are points that have been part of his entire lifetime and that I can see I’m able to develop as ‘the information is there’ – yet as I am walking, I share with him how I can stop from going into the entire hissy-fit by breathing and applying self forgiveness.  It’s interesting that I can say  that I ‘know’ what he goes through because: I am his copy – hence I share what I’ve done to walk through these points in common sense and that’s it. It’s up to him to apply it or not, I won’t try to save him or ‘change him’ because I’ve understood how each one has to make the decision for themselves.

Same point with my mother mostly in relation to a constant state or ‘preoccupation’ and ‘worry’ which also comes from my grandmother and mostly linked to that ‘idleness’ when not having something physically here to do, and it’s also linked to irrational fears that are automated – same points: sharing how to take the trigger point of the entire reaction as the thoughts, walking through each through, applying self forgiveness in the moment and then stopping participation. That’s the point wherein she shared how that was supportive and how she was applying it whenever the thoughts would come up again. That’s cool.

In terms of my sisters now raising children, I can’t say much because I’m not interacting with them. For the most part it seems hard for parents to grasp the fact that kids must be regarded as equals and not making them ‘special’ as that creates further separation in this world. I don’t have an actual ‘say’ on that because both my niece and nephew are still babies, although I can say I am fond of the girl because I have been able to play with her a bit and I enjoy making her laugh and play along. My sisters often joke on how they will ‘send their kids to me’ so that they can learn about life, which I guess is a cool compliment at the moment, for the fact that a human being is able to recognize that the principle we’re living in is in fact beneficial for all and would be willing to allow you to share with them what can be regarded as an actual life-education.

So, these past times that I spent with them I was able to enjoy the hours that I got to talk to them on a one-on-one basis. I am aware that I mostly don’t like going to events wherein there are no actual spaces/ moments to REALLY communicate with people, which is what I enjoy. I’ve learned to open up and not only be willing to listen to ‘some’ – of course not everyone is open for this, so I’ve mostly shared and spoken with those that are willing to share equally, that includes my cousins for the most part, which I also enjoyed.

 

As a tentative final point to this is realizing how within one standing up and creating that equal stance toward everything/ everyone, family becomes part of that basic interaction wherein we are able to ‘test’ ourselves in the most casual ways. It is not necessary to create such resistance toward them as it is common sense that it will have to inevitably be walked-through within this process. Being able to share and spend time with people without having extensive backchat and generating an entire inner experience out of our own thoughts projected toward them, is quite a cool point worth placing oneself to walk through. I see that the key point is integrating this process as ‘who we are’ and not only taking ‘Desteni’ as some external entity that we try to make others see/ understand, but we rather allow the beings to get to know about it through ourselves, through our very ways in which we participate. Just as you and I have learned and copied ways of talking/ walking/ carrying oneself around from others, we are able to become the type of people that others can also see they’re able to live and apply equally as ourselves. Being living examples of what self is able to be and become once that we step out of our preprogrammed cocoon.

Thanks for reading and here’s the vlog that I recorded about this topic as well:

2012 Sharing Desteni with Family/ Friends: a Living Process

And also suggest watching Marek’s video response to that video which is a cool practical walking and expansion on this point.

 

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How I was able to Hear Desteni?

This wasn’t planned at all, but on a day like today January 29th but in 2008 I stumbled upon my second Desteni video which I got to finally watch. I was alone at night in my apartment and ready to get back to school in the following days, while continuing a process of being longing for a change in my life in a desperate manner.

The months before Desteni – and my entire lifetime if I could say so – I searched for answers that I could not get in encyclopedias or my dictionary. I sought into the occult and mystic realms another form of ‘knowledge’ that could make any sense to all of this ‘life’ of mine of which I was losing my ground on. I was absolutely enthralled with spirituality, the idea of ‘God’ being everywhere, us being god, being one, seeking love, wanting to ‘feel love’ and within this getting quite a burnt perspective on reality which lead me to follow certain ideas/ beliefs of myself having this benevolent mission in life that I had to seek ‘guidance’ for in order to ‘fulfill’ it.

At that time I was questioning myself extensively. I would write about losing the ‘meaning’ of who I am and how I had to go back to memories to remind myself ‘who I was,’ yet at the same time not believing that all I was is this ‘so-called lifetime’ as I wrote. I had been interested in how everything develops/ works as a process in life and this curiosity is what lead me to research on various topics like religions, philosophy, mysticism which included alchemy, magic, esotericism, kabbalah, Sufism and the list goes on with various ‘isms.’ I mean, I tried to get a hold of each thing to see what ‘suited my interests.’ Now we know that religions are designed according to people’s minds and cultural lifestyles which now makes me realize how it is that I couldn’t ‘fully identify’ with any of them. I wanted to ‘make my own religion’ as a syncretism of all of which I could find ‘supportive’ from each one of these religions/philosophies/ practices/ cultures, etc.

I’ve been quite fond of writing and I had been doing it for 8 years by that time wherein I wrote “I know the writings and the essence of my thoughts are creations.” Yet all of this I would still link to the idea of ‘enlightenment’ which is essentially what I was seeking at the time. I also would feel like ‘death’ was around the corner – yep, it was the death of me as who I had believed myself all the time.

I’ll share my exact words on the first encounter with Desteni written out in the evening of January 29th, 2008:

“So I saw this girl from Desteni bringing Ian Xel Lungold who is the man that got me investigating about the Mayan Calendar. So I thank him, now I know what goes one a bit more. . I mean, it’s really tough when you truly think of it, but it is completely plausible as I’ve been in touch with such things since I was a little girl. I was brought up with the belief in spiritualism. Basically my whole life has been based in their beliefs.”

Then I describe several events that I used as a form of believing that spiritualism was real as in ‘real life events’ that supported me to believe in it. I proceeded to write hours later – I apologize for the sketchy and jumpy type of enunciation, but I was mostly on weed all the time and I would write in a rather messy way, yet I wanted to share it as ‘raw’ as it is, this is to clarify that the words might not be well suited to describe ‘Desteni’ yet it was how I grasped it at the time.

“It’s 11:05 and I come here only to make or point out the fact/ statement that a whole dimension of who I was has been completely/ almost shattered today. Something beyond here and there changed my mind. So the channel (portal) can be applied to Einstein, Tesla, Marilyn Monroe, Dimebag Darrel I mean, everyone. So there goes this manifestation… It is beyond all schemes, I couldn’t have (illegible ‘thought this’) not even in my wildest dreams. But seeing Kurt Cobain speaking through a blond woman makes you wonder how you really haven’t (illegible) on stuff, even more when we’ve certainly felt like I didn’t belong here. The idea of good and evil dissolving, I hadn’t thought about the idea of god and it makes me wonder. We are our words and I allow myself to forgive myself for ALL and for it ALL. Each pinch of doubt, fear, insecurity might come from my pre-installed system as it feels odd to be coming out of the end. […] So it’s been a long, long day filled with truly, this time TRULY unexpected information, therefore I’m grateful and I’ll try to begin acting as one, being honest with myself as the very chains of reality, this shadow world comes to a transformation from the core. I want to assist that change.

I’ll try to watch them all (videos.) Lots of good vibes. I thank everything until now for I am indeed now aware of my own nature”

And that was the entry for the day. The real ‘shift came through the writings two days after I spent all my time watching videos while having the last days of vacation from school.

The following pages contain very ‘powerful’ realizations that I would like to share here in a summed-up version of entire pages wherein I expressed how excited I was and all that I was ‘ready to give up’ for this process. I’m even a bit flabbergasted myself to see how immediate my decision was to HEAR – and this is all mostly because of seeing the common sense in having to be the ones that cut the chains of our own shackles in this world.  I’ll transcribe a bit here:

“It’s the last day of the first month. It could officially mean that it’s the end of my vacation time and all I can realize is that all my life could be thrown out the window right now because my belief systems have fell and with it, many things I became a part of. I saw each system demon come in and talk about polarities, beauty, addictions, god, trinity, everyone, everything. And this made me ‘feel better’ like I have a solution to the possible outcome of it all. I heard LaVey saying who he’s is/was a demon and he’s in the dimensions observing how humans go to heaven, their heaven once they die.

So me and that LSD experience. I won’t ever do that again as I must realize what I saw was still the product of our mind. I am really curious about Gurdjieff and his afterlife. He says he was erased from Earth because he realized true awareness of ‘I am.’

So really, it is a BIG change for I now know my thoughts, feelings, emotions are part of the system I am. This isn’t really me, we’re covered in bags of skin with huge egos while thinking about success and happiness in the system. I don’t know what I’ll become or what will actually happen after this whole breakthrough. I really feel I want to quit it ALL. I mean it. So, words are me.

Really this is the end of our world as we know it, really. What will come is our Self Realization through the destruction of our systems/demons and I feel think 2012 will be only a shifting time for all of us to save Mother Earth and become Aware, not saved as Jesus (through the Portal) said, but become aware that I don’t have to worship anyone […] Therefore I won’t be experiencing the unity as I thought. It’s good I’ve got a record since 2000 of my life, so now I will consider, re-consider it all…”

Feb 5th and my world was falling apart already within my relationship in terms of how I began sharing about Desteni with family and friends in a rather enthusiastic manner that didn’t suit their scheme of who I was/ what I was supposed to be. Here I share something of this day

“I’ll be like the temperance so I may have time to realize how we exist through relationships. It can’t make me sad anymore, it’s a fight against my own mind. That is judgment day, is here for me, it’s beginning. I do not believe in anything outside of myself anymore, no more religions, no more surrendering to a higher power. There’s no such God as we are god ourselves. All of us, we just have to realize it.

[…] The deal with it all now is becoming my words and it requires subjugation of our big egos towards unity and equality. Will that ever happen? All my beliefs on 2012 are awaiting (in relation to a final ‘end of the world as shared in previous blogs) In fact I like the idea, but what kind of seems torturing is the fact that there’s no solution, there’s no going out of it all forever.  […] It is fascinating I know I’m not alone, I’m not a stranger, I’ll rather try to burn my ego down to ashes and let the true me get out. I won’t hold on to things as I realize how everything is constantly moving. What’s real? I don’t know. And I’m glad I’m not into a relationship anymore.”

And now I remember how initial ‘doubts’ on Desteni were triggered by others in my world – though common sense was undeniable:

“What if Desteni is actually a conspiracy? Well I don’t feel so, it’s not nice to think that all the books I recently bought are nothing but fantasies either, yet they can be so. Music is a system, art, expression, feelings, so what the hell on earth can I do? I’m just waiting, TELL ME! I have no desire whatsoever and it might be really bad/ good whatever. Everyone… So I sometimes wonder… maybe I could be very useful on heaven here on Earth… I have not bought my life yet but I’ll be patient. I’m doing my effort and placing my endeavor towards – not what is called enlightenment – but the truth of our essence. There is nothing to be scared of but of ourselves. So here we go, that’s it. I will not think of anything but forgive myself and I walk for this is all I got now, somehow.

I will trust them this time for it makes complete sense to me. I want to thank Jack and everyone out there in the dimensions who are currently coming to us (through the portal) in a specific moment of our lives. We can’t deny this, we’re in this together, all of us so we might as well hurry, we are aware of this now. That’s why maybe we all felt our worlds crumbling down for some time now, we didn’t know the dimensions were actually struggling to take out all the white light system. So, we were enslaved, huh, who could tell? To me it isn’t much of a new thing because I’ve seen everyone and I know I feel their whatever they are feeling and I’ve always felt weird whenever a young kid approaches me to ask for money or anything. How odd really, we don’t have to ask more. I will continuously make my endeavor to stop the mind. To know who I really am and so, If we are all gods, we better make up to our own nature. Nothing is sacred anymore but all of it together. So that’s about it. This is the real change.

Then the ‘crisis/ breakdown’ came wherein I started digesting more and more of the material, yet it was a necessary process as we all walking this process know and have experienced at some point in our lives/ process.

“So today it wasn’t such a  great thing going back to school. I know it was going to be mad, I couldn’t really sleep that well, I kept wondering about many things and I had goose bumps, very intense ones so I hope today I find a reason for that. If there’s one, Maybe I’m going through a deep crisis indeed, I need help.

Self Honesty, using common sense. I got a message from Andrea at Desteni. I feel great I know and them, it’s great. It has helped me a lot.

My world is really falling apart, it consists of my beliefs, thoughts, that includes all the stuff I used to cling to. There are no more chakras, there will be no more reincarnation as Buddha (through the portal) wrote – so what happens then? So I’m guiding everyday towards equality and it’s hard considering life in this city which is hell. Art is even nonsense now.

Everything up to where we are now makes no sense. There’s no ‘white light’ anymore so we’re on our own. This will be a major shift, I might as well sell everything and go for a ride. But I enjoy myself here I am now. And I’m thankful for it all too. No matter what, I’ll be a ‘stop the mind freak’ if it’s necessary for me to be so. I’ll quit weed if it’s needed, I’ll do so. I believe I was like a heretic or something (in a past life belief), I believe I stood up for No God in other lives and now I returned for a while as a god conceiver, a ‘god seeking person,’ a mystic which is the ultimate enslavement by that of ‘surrendering to a higher power’ – God! I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think of a higher power other than me. I am living my words so I make it happen. If I need to quit my friendship, I will only if required. I hear my blood streaming. So this is where we got to. It is now, the apocalypse (revelation) is here slowly but surely. The revealing. I am all, I am alive. My blood is pumping.”

The following days I continued describing all the series of realizations with regards to what and who I had become, I realized that I was fooling myself by using weed to ‘cope with the message’ and eventually stopped it, the same happened with my relationship as I saw for myself the deception it was and how it was not supporting myself to walk this process.

I found it cool to share these thoughts straight from my notebook as ‘who I was’ 4 years ago wherein I was waking up from a slumber filled with ‘positivism.’ Desteni became that final and initial point to a process of having sought for a ‘solution’ to this world and having sought for a ‘way out’ of my own ‘chains,’ I saw the common sense in having to become the solution in this world once that I realized there was no God. This proves that I had in fact deposited faith on some benevolent being eventually being able to ‘save us.’ Now I know that it is definitely not so and that we are here, walking our process of self-revelation as the realization of who and what we are as one and equal which is not nice or pretty and implies taking Self Responsibility: an actual understanding of How we have created this world and walk through the Manifested Consequences in/ as our world.

Common sense could not be denied and I walked a process of shedding off my beliefs and embraced the new way wherein Forgiving myself was the way to stop participating in delusions like god or having some form of ‘guidance’ above me to become this ‘enlightened being.’ It was very supportive to get messages from people at Desteni when I did ‘seek for help’ as I was going a bit crazy with all the material. It only lasted a couple of days but what I got really allowed me to settle down and assert myself to walk this.

I eventually walked through the entire breakdown of crying and thinking that I had ‘lost myself’ but it was only beginning to step out of my religion and realizing that I could not continue as the ‘me’ that I had lived as until then.

Now I’m here, I did finish school and I’m actually in that point again in my life where a cycle is about to end here and a new one will begin. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already yet it is so and we continue walking here.

All I can say is to be patient with yourself if you’re beginning this process, takes time to walk through one’s mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions and the rest of our reality within writing and applying self forgiveness, we’re all still all walking it as well.  I see how the commitment to be part of this process of Equality and Oneness was almost an immediate decision, because I had sought to be part of a change that could give a ‘meaning’ to my life. I realized how I could make myself the point of my existence and within that, make of my life this instrument to transform and establish a system that supports all Life.

Desteni is the process to get to live in this world. It might have come in the ‘weird’ presentation of a portal with all of these fascinating messages that made all sense to me. Yet the process of walking it and applying it/ living it became that single ‘point’ in my world that I required to realize that I was in fact able to become that which I saw  ‘knew’ we were even if it was in the back of my head. I was able to finally get the ‘reality check’ that I required to see how deluding myself with god and spirituality had been in fact neglecting my reality. The breakdown that I described was precisely because of realizing how I had been living in a bubble of positive thinking while abuse, suffering and violence was everything that was creating and making of this world such a fucked up place, all of it beginning within our very own thoughts (!)

Witnessing that through documentaries and videos we would get on a daily basis by Bernard, allowed me to open my eyes to the reality I had neglected. This was probably one of the key points within my Desteni-process wherein I started looking outside of myself to a reality that required to be exposed and shared to see what we are accepting and allowing to exist in our world, our creation. And with that, create and stand as the necessary solution that we are now presenting and walking as the Equal Money System.

Some lines in those journal entries contained some lyrics by John Frusciante that I wrote and seemed appropriate for this point in my life:

My life goes blank
Life was never what you thought.
Life was never what you saw
The lights go out

I dared to turn off the light and face the reality of what I had become, I wrote that it was ‘painful’ but understood why I required to walk this process and committed myself to it fully.

I’m grateful as I’ll always be for being here, being able to share my story today after 4 years of walking this process, between hell and Earth and back again, facing the nitty gritty details of myself that I would sometimes get embarrassed to even expose to myself. All of it I’m able to Self Forgive and prepare myself to be the point that takes Self Responsibility, that does stand up to create the necessary system for all of us to live as equals.

If you want to read more about my process, check out the archives now available in this same blog in the year 2008.

We continue walking. Thanks for reading.

Watch the vlogs on this topic here:

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

First note when watching Desteni 2008

First notes while watching Desteni, January 30th 2008


2012 The End of the battle Matter vs. Spirit

Separation created between matter and spirit is one of the  unnecessary polarities created at a thought level.  Spiritualists promote that people should stop focusing on the ‘material world,’ deeming it as the ‘source of evil.’ People like Mokichi Okada that promoted the advent of a ‘New Era,’ believed that people should veer toward a spiritual-growth that could be in consonance with the coming age wherein ‘happiness’ would reign on Earth as part of ‘God’s divine Plan.’

People like Okada – a.k.a Meishu Sama – believed/ proclaimed themselves to be enlightened masters in this reality. If one reads their message, all you have is pointing out the need to be in alignment with the ‘new era,’ removing all the ‘bad thoughts’ from our minds and toxins from our physical bodies, and essentially kind of only ‘wait for it all to  happen.’ How could these beings call themselves to be ‘enlightened’ if all that they ever did was focusing in a non-tangible world that they simply ‘believed in’ according to apparent forms of communication/ access to knowledge given by a ‘god.’ I mean, common sense, if one has such access then:

Why only letting ‘him’ give the great news and not asking about the abuse and suffering that is currently existing in this world?

Why did none of the so-called ‘masters’ dare to challenge such a beautifully placed future ‘divine’ projection of humanity without giving any perspective on how the current system has been created by ourselves and how it requires an actual reform to create such  ‘heaven on Earth’?

Why did God did not come up with a holistic solution like the Equal Money System? Why was this reality based on a hierarchical system wherein only some had to inevitably be slaves?

How come an Equality system has never been the ‘order’ in this existence?

According to Okada and many others within the New-Age movement, there is a ‘great awakening’ about to happen. Imagine yourself being able to wake up in an equal world wherein everything is just like ‘heaven on Earth’ with abundant food, water, everything you need to build your wildest reality dream. Imagine if everything would be just ‘freely here’ yet each one of us would still find ourselves judging one another, fearing each other, not knowing how to cooperate and work together, essentially stuck in a general separation and apathy toward ourselves because of not having even become equal and one to the mind that generates and formulates such experiences and thoughts within and as ourselves.

It is common sense that a process of Self-Correction is required if we are all aiming to create an Equal world. I’ve recently read through interactions in twitter that ‘self is perfect as it is because God created us’ – which is just an ego trip and the tip of the iceberg of the massive abuse we’ve accepted in the name of ‘God’s perfectly flawed creation.’ Many people could equate Self-Correction to a purification process – yet the process we walk at Desteni is not able to be ‘chosen’ in order to  have that ‘ultimate experience’ such as ‘heaven on Earth,’ or reaching ‘enlightenment’ – it is a process that each one decides to walk within the realization that who and what we are is and has been always HERE – all the time – and that we don’t have to wait for some ‘divine discharge’ to happen for us to take self responsibility for what’s here.

The word ‘responsibility’ is not able to be found in Okada’s compilation of editorial letters called Teachings of Meishu-Sama – Volume 1 not even once – which gives us the necessary idea that in all its 60 plus pages, we won’t find an actual realization that it is not to create an eternal discordance/ separation with what is here as the physical reality/ ‘material world’ and the spirit (which we still can’t see) – but instead promoting taking Self Responsibility for how we are creating this world and setting rules that are clearly not created to support everyone equally and within doing so, looking at how we can practically create solutions for the matters in this world.  By ‘matters’ I mean the consequences of us disregarding the fact that we have been following and submitting ourselves to an elusive ‘divine plan’ that many of us have sought to be a part-of by following a certain ‘clue’ to get to accomplish our ‘mission in life,’ only to then get lost in translation when it comes to simply becoming a single servant of a ‘god’ that doesn’t exist and that we cannot certainly remain as ‘slaves to.’

The reason why matter was seen as ‘evil’ by Gnostics/ spiritual people is to maintain and perpetuate the belief system that could keep feeding ‘heaven’ with the necessary energy to preserve itself – that’s part of what you can learn at the Desteni Material, which explains how it is that such a god-belief system was an ideal distraction (in the form of spirituality and sex) from realizing the actual enslavement that we were living here, only being batteries that run an entire divine plan that promised ‘love’ and ‘bliss,’ while keeping a reality of suffering and abuse ‘well equilibrated’ this way.

That was a shock indeed, realizing I had been in fact perpetuating the abuse in this world while focusing in establishing a magnificent connection with ‘the whole,’ neglecting and deliberately ignoring the reality that is here, as myself and the world.

Here’s some facts from such document in terms of the words  used in it:

Number of  times we can find the word ‘Equality’ in this book: 0

Number of times we can find the word ‘Oneness’: 1

Number of times we can find the word: ‘Honesty:’ ‘0

Number of times we can find the word ‘Forgiveness’: 4 – all of them as mere titles, not in the actual content and only referring to ‘asking God for forgiveness’ prior to ‘judgment day.’

Number of times we can find the word ‘God’ in this book: 131

Number of times we can find the word ‘Spiritual’: 261

Number of times we can find the word ‘Light’: 103

We can figure out the rest in terms of ‘divine’ plans, guidance, love, etc..

_______________________________________

People following these writings usually believe that ‘we are not our physical body’ and that this is a ‘temporary lifespan’ wherein each one is essentially only waiting-to-die to get to some personalized heaven with the god of their choice. I once also believed that this body is only a vessel – and a rather annoying one -which is the same as treating myself as a carcass while being alive, absolutely disregarding the fact that it was my very own body the one that had to ‘endure’ my thinking processes of such nature while disregarding the very oxygen that I inhale to nurture every single one of the cells that constitute this physical body, that holds this mind system that creates who and what I am.

I have forgiven myself extensively for having placed all my ‘value and worth’ into a non-existent reality that I would only get to ‘know’ about through the knowledge upon which I deposited faith, belief and hope, really only wanting everything to just be magically fixed so that I wouldn’t have to actually deal with the physical reality. I am here to stand one and equal to my physical body and this existence – which is still a knowledge point, yet I realize this is to place into perspective what I am actually walking here.

Today I got a video response from someone claiming the above: we are not our physical body.  I once believed that, I once thought that there was some ‘superior’ or ‘greater phase to come.’ I pretty much indulged into readings such as Okada’s while immersing myself in the new-age writings wherein I took many words as ‘facts’ while following an inherent desire to prove my negligence toward this reality as ‘not being real’ to be ‘right,’ to be ‘ad-hoc’ to the process of Earth. I was utterly wrong, I’ve forgiven myself. That’s probably part of the guilt I would experience before, how I had neglected this reality and myself as my physical body in various ways while believing that who I was in this ‘material world’ is worthless, is non-important, is ‘useless.’

It is through these types of beliefs wherein the ‘spirit’ is placed above matter that wars are justified, because in the end they claim: ‘who really cares about some bodies just dying, they weren’t even ‘real’ in the first place’ – and this is not just me making stuff up, I’ve read and heard the above twice today and it came with a shudder to realize what we have become just because of a sole belief in us being a soul/ spirit/ superior being that we have never gotten a hold of to even ‘guide us’ to create some common sense in this world – in case it was ever actually ‘real’ which is not of course.

“We’re doomed” yes, by all of the positive bs beliefs that are being propagated in this world, neglecting the very body that allows us to indulge into such  hatred and separation of ourselves. It is unacceptable from this perspective that life continues supporting humanity’s delusional belief systems unconditionally, no wonder all the shit is now hitting our fan.

A luxurious ship half sunk getting more hype than 20,000 children dying of starvation every single day, a 170 million dollar mission to mars failed, millions of sharks are killed every year in the name of exquisite Asian cuisine while billions join in the lines of starvation and poverty because of being ‘invisible’ to a system of profit. This is our world today – are you willing to continue like this while focusing on ‘the positive’ and hoping to ‘enter a new era’ of bliss and happiness? Read this: we won’t go anywhere as we are already Here – we have to sort out this reality unless we allow our ego/ self interest to get ‘too high’ and destroy the world that we are blatantly disregarding every moment that we believe that ‘matter is not real’ and that all that exist is the ‘spiritual reality’ wherein you’ll be in the presence of some magnificent being that never even cared to show his face on Earth.

Common Sense is required in this world: only through creating/ establishing an Equality System can we create dignified living conditions on Earth. It is not about the spirit, it is about the beings that are placing rules upon the matter in this world. Matter is the physical, the actual god that is here regardless of us ‘the observers’ being aware of it – we’re not even aware of the totality that is here, we are submitting ourselves to a limited fraction just because of holding our mind/ spiritual invisible realm as ‘all that there is.’

We have to get down to Earth to see and realize what we are neglecting, what we are supporting even by holding papers with fictional value that allow us to enslave each other to only ‘live’ if having such I.O.U’s in our pocket. It is a sick joke and a game that must be given and end by ourselves.

The only ‘distance’ we have created from ourselves and this world is through our own mind through beliefs, thoughts, fears, judgments that have been externalized creating our accepted and allowed current monetary system. The Equal Money System ends the eternal battle of matter vs. spirit wherein we won’t have to focus on having a ‘better life’ once we’re dead, but we can create it and give it to each other only Here on Earth.

Om

http://www.desteni.org

http://www.equalmoney.org


2012 Paralyzing Human Nature

“Conflict engenders fire, the fire of affects and emotions, and like every other fire it has two aspects, that of combustion and that of creating light. On the one hand, emotion is the alchemical fire whose warmth brings everything into existence and whose heat burns all superfluities to ashes. But on the other hand, emotion is the moment when steel meets flint and a spark is struck forth, for emotion is the chief source of consciousness. There is no change from darkness to light or from inertia to movement without emotion”  – Carl Jung

 

Jung’s work allowed us to get closer to understanding archetypes as preprogrammed patterns within society that we become and interact within/ as. However, the ‘point’ within psychology is still trying to ‘make sense’ and accept emotions/ feelings as something inherently ‘natural’ and part of the human being. This single acceptance has lead then to multiple theories and endless philosophical attempts to ‘make sense’ of ourselves as our mind, as ‘human beings’ disregarding the most basic common sense that we could only get to understand now, for the very first time in our human history according to what the Desteni material reveals: we have been Mind Consciousness Systems, preprogrammed from birth wherein our inherent preprogramming and standard mind-perception of reality has kept us in an invisible cage wherein we apparently had to ‘cope’ with emotions and feelings, trying to keep ‘a hold’ of ourselves instead of absolutely stopping participating with them because: they are NOT who we really are.

Reading this quote and seeing the way that it is evoking such chemical reactions reminded me of a post I read on Márton’s blog wherein he said how the human being should be called the most reactive element on Earth – and it is definitely so. We react with words, pictures, smells, colors, figures, images, everything is able to ignite a feeling and sensation within us, everything is able to ‘push our buttons’ according to how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to only exist as a program. That you’ll be able to understand in full detail in the ‘what is sex’ interviews which explains this in absolute detail, which is the type of investigation that people like Jung or Freud could have used to actually get to understand Reality and ‘human nature’ in its totality.

After getting to know the nitty gritty details of who and what we have been all this time – which was unknown to ourselves as human race until now – it becomes inevitable to not see how necessary it is for us to let the world know that: our inner reactions, conflict, turmoil and inner war – as well as the polarity of yearning for love, light, prosperity and happiness – is creating this entire world based on an incessant conflict/friction and opposition between both polarities manifested as our very thoughts, personalities/ egos that are currently manifested as wars, discord, judgment toward each other and the list of disregarding another as equals goes on.

Therefore, what are we exactly justifying within Jung’s statements above? The very existence of wars in this world. This single idea of “There is no change from darkness to light or from inertia to movement without emotion” can be equally used by someone in an executive position to vindicate war in means of ‘progress.’ This is only to get an idea at what level we are creating/ manifesting the world we are currently living in: self created due to each one of us perpetuating inside ourselves as our thoughts, feelings emotions in constant conflict as the very mechanisms that keep the entire friction and opposition going on in the world, which is our reflection to face our attempt of becoming gods in this reality. Failed so far.

The personality-suit I had to wear in this world was that of following these type of thinking, wherein I thought that the more I felt = the more human I was, that I could only motivate myself through experiences – including love, positivity and the opposites like rage, depression, anger – all of this without realizing that it was within those very emotions and feelings that I actually separated myself from what is HERE which doesn’t require ignitions to ‘keep going,’ but actually requiring us to put out the inner-fires as inner conflict and turmoil that has perpetuated and externalized as wars and multiple disagreements that we can find virtually everywhere in this world. Though, everyone wants to defend their ‘right’ to ‘feel’ and ‘think’ whatever they want because that’s apparently the ‘one freedom’ that ‘god’ gave us – right.

 

If we look at ‘light’ it is indeed generated by energy, fire is generated by creating friction with two sticks until they ignite – combustion is the process that we are currently drowning ourselves in as global warming is now our reality and consequence within a system wherein we have enslaved ourselves to energy. It is fascinating how our very own inner-workings are mirroring our reality as ‘our creation,’ spoiling the natural order that was here and turning it into a prison planet. Look at wars, they are currently at a simmering point because of oil – oil for burning and keeping our ‘machinery’ going to sustain this world that is only able to function if it is fueled.

It is vital to understand how this creation was only fueling heaven, how we were only batteries that kept the entire system of ‘god’ alive, with our every own thoughts and participation in emotions and feelings!

Now, why was this never actually pin pointed by anyone on Earth? Because everyone was equally preprogrammed to NEVER be able to ‘know’ the actual facts of how the mind works, how our reality is preprogrammed to keep us quite busy with our inner-states of mind and experiences while neglecting the very obvious fact that something is ‘really wrong’ in this world. Fortunately, we are waking up and we have the tools to assist and support ourselves because we cannot possibly continue existing in absolute ignorance of  HOW our reality works and WHY it is so imperative to stop participating in feelings, emotions and thoughts that are only there to limit our ability to live, existing only as prefab limited version of ‘life’ that is able to be categorized as different suits and archetypes/ matrix personalities that we have believed is ‘who we are,’ instead of actually recognizing and accepting our ability to stand up and express-as-life.

Got news for you: we are here and ready to share with the world that there is another way, that we are in fact able to know the actual inner-workings of ourselves as our mind and from here, understand how it is only through us stopping our individual participation in/as the mind and correcting our patterns and habits of self-limitation, that we can Stop contributing to the current conflicts and disagreements that are manifested in this reality in the form of our very social institutions that are supposed to ‘regulate’ and ‘care’ for the general well being of man; when in fact our very own greed/ self-interest, self importance and personal desires to succeed in a fictional world is taking the most out of the non-refundable resources, while the Earth continues to scream out for us to HEAR that We Must Stop.

This is self evident now, you just have to step outside of your inner-experience and investigate how everything that we consume to live is currently tied to some form of abuse as an energetic enslavement  – yes, literally anything we eat, wear, use is tied to an entire system of Money which is our well kept fallacy created only for the benefit of those that are ‘on top,’ while enslaving the rest to keep the ‘cogwheels churning.’

How is it that psychology never really questioned the ability of human beings to create a fictional system based on an imaginary set of values imposed on to what is here, such as our current monetary system? Why are religions and the belief in gods and invisible masters not questioned and considered as the mental-dysfunctions that they actually are?

 

We must stop ‘seeking’ ourselves ‘out there’ and creating all forms of conflict while doing so –there is nothing else to ‘attain’ as everything is already Here. We must stop feeding our though-machine that generates our reality as a bundle of experiences as feelings and emotions that we then get lost in, and eventually harm ourselves and many other life forms during that process without ever pondering: What am I Actually doing? What is it that I am actually ‘living for’? What is this that I am participating in? Is this actually ‘me’? Is this all that I am? Where have I been all this time?

When you are ready to find out the reality behind these questions, join us at Desteni – participate in the forums to see how we are in fact the new way of understanding human nature from a holistic perspective wherein there are practical solutions at a micro and macro perspective of the world, a holistic understanding that will bring an end to all abuse, misery, suffering and wars in this world. We’re done with the history of theories and ‘experimental cures’ – we are able to support ourselves and have fun while doing so as well.

equalmoney.org to understand how we can implement a reality that’s truly best for all as a brand new equality-system while learning how to cooperate and regard each other as equals as LIFE at last.

This is it, human beings, we stand up or we destroy the world. I suggest the first one – what better place than here, what better time than now.

 

Self-created shock

Support yourself

desteniiprocess.com Walk out of your mind into the physical.

 

Suggest to read/ hear:

 

Killing other Humans (Justin Bowerman an army specialist) by Bernard Poolman

Demilitarization | No more wars
Of WAR and the RAW nature of life by Bella Bargilly

 


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