Tag Archives: destonian

502. From Feeling Sorry to Owning our Consequences

Or what does it reveal about me to ‘feel sorry for others’ and how to turn it into a supportive point of change in me

There’s this experience that I have noticed as one of those very ingrained aspects of myself where feeling sorry for another becomes a way to create a form of ‘care’ – again, lol – that is definitely not supportive and relies on diminishing the potential and capacity of others to stand up for themselves and own their creation.

What does it reveal about myself to pity or feel sorry for others? It is the acceptance and allowance of self-pity within myself, where even if I cannot spot it existing as ‘who I am’ currently, it has been an ingrained aspect of going into an inferiority, a victimization, a ‘sorry for me’ type of experience that I can definitely see very much ‘there’ in relation to myself in the past, which I have been projecting onto others that I have associated to be similar to ‘me in the past’ and thus wanting to create a form of empathy or support that ends up compromising not only myself but the other person I ‘feel sorry for’ or believe is being ‘unfairly treated’ or is going through some kind of ‘injustice.’

This ‘feeling sorry’ for another is defined by the character that wants to ‘save’ another for example from certain circumstances or consequences in their life where I for example decide to completely stand as a pillar for them to stand up and in doing so, not really questioning: what am I actually doing when considering that the other person is genuinely incapable of taking self-responsibility or standing up for themselves?

This is where we develop relationships with other people based on self-compromise. Example, if there are consequences or situations that have been experienced by them in their lives, it is also part of their creation and what they have to own as their life, their actions and inactions, their decisions – which is exactly what I’ve learned to do with myself and my own life, to not diminish my capacity in any way to be able to change and do the necessary work to change in the possibilities that I have in my reality.

Of course here I am talking about people that are already having the basics to live and have all the means to create ways to support themselves –  even more so, there are truly disempowered people in this world that even in very real worst case scenarios push and stand up through the worst of the situations, which also allowed me to place into context my kind of ‘sorry’ and ‘worry’ which has been a life-long patter – up to now and that I am committing and deciding to stop here – which has led to compromise within myself and others.

There is one point missed at times which is that even if we support another and they decide that there’s a willingness to support themselves as well, there is one step from having the intent or even ‘will’ to do it and actually living them and that’s where even if one can temporarily stand as a point of support for another, it does have to get to the point where each one must stand by themselves completely and this potential exists in all of us human beings and we know it because every person is always an individual and no matter how much you want to stand as a point of support for another, it’s always up to another to own their creation and stand up for themselves.

Here looking at ‘sorry for others’ as well in the context of consequences that a person has actually created in their lives, where I can also go into the belief that things just ‘happen’ to others instead of seeing how there is always a point of acceptance and allowance for that point to exist in their/our lives. Here is where I have to see how I can still go into thinking that some things in this world are ‘unfair’ to people instead of completely taking responsibility for it all, for we are all in fact one and equal.  

Yet I forget that consequences and facing real harsh consequences can be the most supportive thing, not can be, they are in fact the most supportive things we can have whenever we haven’t yet been able to see the effects of our creation, of our participation in our mind and so in our actions. We have taught ourselves to ‘fear consequence’ yet, it is precisely through fearing that we neglect taking the actions to change something and in the end, we create that which we feared only to then be able to face it and stand through it to realize how much we led to a consequential outcome just because we feared something, without questioning the fear itself in the first place.

‘Feeling sorry’ for another is another dimension of implying that I am in fact diminishing the other person from being able to own their creation, I am creating an experience toward them that sort of confirms their inability to ‘stand up for themselves’ while I know they are also capable, because I have done it for myself as well and so if I have done it, so can you, so can anyone. In other words, the best way to assist another person is precisely to not feel sorry for them or to go into an experience of ‘worry as care’ as I’ve shared in previous blogs, because that’s completely futile as real support.

Sometimes what’s required is what is commonly perceived as ‘tough love’ where allowing a person to face consequence is the best way to genuinely support another, to learn what it means to make a decision and live it fully into its completion, into a full creation where we can face what we’ve done, become and take responsibility for it from beginning to end – this is not about good or bad – but about experiencing what is the result and outcome of a continued participation in a particular intent, thoughts, experiences, plans, etc. And also to see what it means to face consequences based on actions or inactions that were truly in one’s hands to do and work on. 

So I decide to instead of ‘feeling sorry’ for others to rather first recognize their creation, their outcome as who they have been up to that point wherein no matter how ‘lost’ one may seem in the mind, there’s always this one moment of making a decision to feed the conflict or stop it and find ways to change. And here thus, it’s more honorable to break up a delusion of ‘being sorry for others’ as any form of care, and in my case rather integrate the realization that real care is the one that would show you the way in which you can face your creation, your consequences in a supportive manner, but preventing oneself from consequence is definitely only perpetuating self-abuse, a perpetual immaturity in living potential because that’s how we’ve ended up creating our gods, our authorities as parents, governments and the rest of it, where we then learn to blame when things go wrong and throw tantrums and create self-pity and victimization, instead of learning to stand up, review all the steps of our creation and own every step of it to the point of being able to fully recognize ‘this is me, I’ve done this, I’ve become this, therefore I can change’ because again, doing this is then empowering for each other, it’s what real freedom is from my perspective.

This is then a personal note whenever wanting to go into ‘feeling sorry’ or ‘pitying another’ to remind myself of owning our creations, learning from our consequences which is a very specific process for each one of us, of course according to our creation and that’s how we can also make of consequences a gift to see where we had to stand up in our lives, what we had not yet learned about ourselves and our capacity yet, where we still have to fine-tune our resolve in certain points of change – it’s all part of the process and so not to judge oneself or others for it and fall into an emotional experience for it, but stand up and learn from it.

In any case all I can ever do is assist others to realize the gift of owning our consequences, of the necessity of consequences many times for us to wake up from our slumber and also to learn to see these outcomes and outflows as our creation that we can change from now on, to not be defined by it but rather focus on learning how to stand up from it and make that be our strength and not a perpetual weakness.

Thanks for reading.

 

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421. Art is in the Eye of the Beholder

 

I took this great blog title from Leila Zamora Moreno who gave it as a name for her son’s Cesar first masterpiece which I am going to share here because it’s his first year alive on Earth today!

We got a Pollock coming, people!

Cesar's Masterpiece 1 Year

 

So, I watched a documentary on Marina Abramovic’s work called Marina Abramović: The Artist is Present and noticed how through watching it, I was constantly seeking for some kind of ‘meaningful’ thing to come through, something that could match my idea of ‘art.’ Through writing the self forgiveness I’m about to share, I realize that I had become this constant judge toward anything I’ve defined as ‘art’ and within doing so measuring/gauging it and see if it does match my idea of art as something that can ‘change the world’ and if not, usually I would follow through to judge it as pointless, useless, a waste of time, etc. In fact I had written out a blog about the documentary, but obviously noticed it was filled with righteous comments so as to impose ‘my perspective’ which then of course was a cool thing to do or else I would have remained within the idea/belief that ‘I was right in my assessment’ lol.

I also reacted when seeing people organizing performances and/or artistic creations around an ongoing situation here in Mexico about students having been disappeared/most likely killed due to a political point of convenience for a governor in one state here and then judging this as ‘pointless’ and ‘meaningless’ and then rehashing the judgment of ‘how come I can despise this ‘art world’ so much now and I once was so eager to be a part of it, where was I?’ – so here I go straight to Self Forgiveness.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to say to myself, how was I ever involved in this art/cultural realm and come to despise it so much at the same time? Which is only showing the usual love-hate relationship wherein of course any ‘negative’ experience is in fact denoting I still hold a relationship toward art, and as such, it’s all about ME in fact and not at all about art/artists or the art world at all – this is then the point of self-responsibility to expand upon here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience remorse and embarrassment for having ever aimed at achieving an artistic career as I followed my desire to experience something ‘special’ through art and aim at ‘changing the world’ with it, which simply means that I was entirely driven by my own emotional and feeling experience and that this clouded my ability to see reality for what it is and genuinely question whether a ‘work of art’ has in fact ever changed people’s lives to the extent that I thought it would.

In this, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art as something frivolous or useless, wherein by defining it in such way I am then creating a negative relationship to it, but still a relationship nonetheless, so this is about me taking responsibility to ensure I no longer impose any ideas, beliefs, perceptions and reactions toward ‘art’ itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create yet again an experience of disdain toward people that are using art as a way to demonstrate the corruption and deaths of people here in Mexico, wherein now artists are gathering to create portraits of students that have been – most likely – sent to be killed by a high authority in one of the states here in Mexico, and so reacting with the experience of ‘this is utter bullshit’ and so having the desire to just curse at the people that believe that in any way doing a portrait or performance of and for the people that have disappeared will change their family’s grief or would in any way ‘solve the problem.’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that this ‘disdain’ is simply a tantrum like experience that comes after one had created certain ideals and expectations upon something, which is why one has such a ‘stance’ toward – in this case – art, instead of realizing that ‘art’ in itself in this case is not aiming at creating a tangible, physical solution, but simply a remembrance that some people might find supportive and that’s up to each person and how they react/interact with such artistic expressions – therefore

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become hypercritical to anything that has to do with art and aiming at bashing it constantly or whenever I can, which only demonstrates my own judgments and ‘false expectations’ created and imposed toward art, wherein I was trying to make of art an actual ‘tool to change the world’ but I realize that ‘art’ in itself as a manifestation and expression cannot do that at all – self change is and will always be here as ourselves, it is about who we are in our mind and in our actions, which in turn will define our creations as well.

 

I realize that in this, of course I’m missing out the actual self-forgiveness that extends beyond ‘myself’ only but as a human being that has lived in a world where pictures, emotions, experiences are the actual ‘drivers’ and/or ‘fuel’ of our reality, wherein the society of spectacle also involves creating this kind of ‘motives’ and ‘remembrances’ using art as a way to ‘heal the wounds’ or else, without realizing that in essence, art only works at a mind level and as such, it creates no solution to real-reality problems and in this

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge art for not being what I expected it to be, instead of realizing that it’s only me that tried to make it’ more’ than what it in fact is – in this

 I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly try and fit ‘art’ into the category of a human creation that will in some way ‘change the world’ or ‘change people’s consciousness’ wherein in my desire to ‘fit’ art into this ideal, I’ve actually created such an unnecessary conflict within me, because I see that it is just impossible to do so, because nothing, no object, no image can ‘change you’ but only oneself in actually understanding why changing is necessary and how one can practically do it – in this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get so infatuated with the idea of ‘change’ being able to exist within art, which you know in terms of the large scope of what art is, this idea of ‘change’ is already a limitation, a definition that is coming strictly from who I am and what I am walking in my life, which is very much aligned with ‘changing myself ‘ – thus, I have to stop trying to fit the world, fit people’s idea of art into my own.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be gullible and somewhat stubborn in trying to fit ‘my idea’ of art into everyone else’s artistic creation, which then of course leads me to only criticize, judge it, see it as ‘not good enough’ or ‘pointless’ or plain ‘bullshit’ without realizing that I’m judging it from my own point of view that aimed to make of art ‘something life changing and revolutionary.’ Therefore, I realize that I have to STOP trying to impose my own ideas of what art was supposed to be as a catalyst or a way to change people’s minds/lives and instead of trying to measure ‘all art’ against my own idea/belief and perception of what ‘art should be, I have to rather use all judgments as a way to continue checking what exists within me as an expectative or assumption around art, as this is then how I can use art or anything else as a mirror to continue seeing where I am creating experiences and separation from what is here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play out the love and hate relationship toward art, which only signifies one thing: there are still remnants of self-definition within me according to ‘being an artist’ or wanting to stick to that profession as ‘what I studied’ or ‘who I was,’ because in a way I still wanted to try and ‘save the profession’ as ‘my choice’ and having done so in absolute clarity and conviction within myself; and so this was my attempt of trying to justify my decision thinking that I wasn’t so ‘out there’ or detached from reality when I chose to study this – but, at the moment I can see that I was in fact not really ‘grounded’ on Earth 10 years ago when I made such decision and that somehow I am still beating myself for it, which is not necessary – therefore

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having chosen what I now judge as some self-conceited and self-importance and absolutely self-indulgent profession as ‘art’ which in this is in fact only judging and ‘dissing’ that which didn’t ‘turn out to be what I expected’ and so, I realize that I have gone back and forth within this experience in the past of the ‘love and hate relationship toward art,’ but the problem is that I still tried to ‘suit my idea’ of what art should be in everything that I continue to see/watch and consume as ‘art,’ instead of realizing that I have to absolutely let go of the idea that I once held about art, let go unconditionally of my past choices in life, of my past ‘mindset’ and as such, stop any judgments around this point within me.

I commit myself to see art for what it is: a series of visual or experiential-based objects or images or actions wherein one is challenged to see reality with another pair of eyes and get to see reality from each person’s mindframe and perspective – thus to take it ‘for what it is’ as an individual or collective expression, instead of continually trying to see ‘where or how is this in any way changing the world?’ which is My idea of what art should be and the reason why this conflict still would emerge within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge ‘the past me’ as vain and superfluous for having chosen such a career and now in one way or another wanting to throw shit at it, which is not really acceptable at all, because art as any other action and creation that we do in this world, is part of what we also have to take responsibility for. Thus my way to contribute to it, is not to ‘bash’ something because it did not ‘fulfill’ my expectations upon it, but rather take the words that I had once associated with art / being an artist and live them myself in the way that I see is supportive and best for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to having said this morning ‘where the hell was I when I decided to study art?’ and say so with a sense of regret and disdain toward me and so toward everything and everyone involved in such practice, instead of realizing that if I did this same kind of reproachment for everything else that I see we have done ‘wrong’ in our lives, I would live in constant reproachment which is obviously not necessary at all as in that, we only trap ourselves in guilt and remorse, instead of focusing on what is required to be changed HERE.  

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that what’s hiding behind this is me not wanting to admit that it was my own starting point toward art that defined my now judgment toward ‘art’ which is not about ‘art’ but about me and how I was in fact living and acting in a self-absorbed manner and was seeking for the kind of things like fame, fortune, all the money and the ‘good life’ as well as bashing the system while earning good money, lol – so I realize that I have to simply admit to myself the kind of decisions that I made in the past, the reasons behind it and that there is no way that I can ‘turn back time and change my decisions and career choice’ because I do realize that the decisions I made in my past were absolutely ‘congruent’ to my mind-frame, my interests, my aspirations in the past and within this, I have to absolutely let go of me trying to ‘make sense’ of my initial ambitions and desires in life so as to justify them, and try and see them with a ‘good light’ so to speak, which is not really necessary to now super impose some ‘goodness’ to it, because that would simply imply that I am still judging my past life and decisions as something ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ or ‘self-interested,’ which is not really necessary once that I realize I have simply moved on from that phase in my life and my interests and aim in life have veered substantially from how I used to think 10 years ago, which I am of course grateful to myself for as well and for all the past moments that led to this realization.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my dissatisfaction with my past choices upon every other artwork or artist I see and get to know of by judging their work and activity in all possible ways wherein I diminish it to being ‘pointless’ and ‘useless’ and taking this as a ‘fact,’ without realizing that all of these were only self-judgments that I have created around ‘art’ based on my own judgments toward myself and my past.

Therefore I commit myself to stop wanting to impose my idea of what ‘art should be’ upon others’ creations and simply redefine the word for myself to live as the actual creator of my life within the principles that I have established for myself of self-responsibility, self-introspection, self-forgiveness and self-correction as I see that this is what I have realized is the genuine way to do what I always aimed doing through art, which is changing myself and so with that, changing the world – therefore I hereby let go of the desire to ‘change the world’ through art  or attempt to make of art that ‘one point that changes the world’ which is also not ‘the point’ here.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a human being desire to do something ‘more than myself’ through objects, experiences, artifacts outside of myself and now judging art for what I believe or assume ‘artists’ are aiming to do, which is another judgment coming from what I used to do with art itself, instead of realizing that art can be used as a bridge for self-investigation, yet it is not ‘the change’ in itself at a massive level that I wished it to be at some point, as I realize that self-change and self-realization cannot in any way be something done through only one action, one object, one image and have an effect ‘en masse’ – there are no magic tricks on this.

 

I commit myself to stop judging art, artists, art collectors, art supporters and everyone that enjoys art and instead see ‘art’ within the realm of any other human activity that we do at the moment which means that everything we are and do is yet to be walked through a process of self-realization and self-correction, which means there cannot be something that is genuinely ‘supportive’ if there is no foundation to understand such support or what would be supportive to ‘change oneself’ or ‘change the world’  – thus I am the one that has to stop seeing art through the eyes of ‘practical change’ and/or ‘practical relevance for self-change’ wherein I then create a righteousness to create ‘negative’ judgments toward it, which is once again falling in the judgmental trap that leads nowhere and in fact then I would support the continuation of separation, reactions, judgments and division in the world.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think, believe and perceive that because I studied art, I have ‘an authority’ to bash it which is really only playing the same critique conundrum that I have also criticized in the past, instead of seeing art or anything else as just expressions that each one of us will have to take self-responsibility for, for the intent, the purpose and the experience within which it was created – thus, I am no one to judge anyone or anything for what it is, I can only reflect myself upon the world and thus take responsibility for my judgments, my experiences, my expressions ‘toward others’ and always realize it has nothing to do with art per se, with artists or with the artworks themselves, but with myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still have wanted to control ‘my vision’ about art and so be able to ‘measure all other art’ according to what I had defined as ‘art,’ not realizing that this definition of ‘art’ is not even certain for people in art creation themselves. So, this is once again a point to show how when trying to ‘fit in’ one’s definition upon something/someone, because  each definition is created in one’s mind, it will always be a source of conflict to try and define something that in its nature is not meant to even be ‘defined’ as such, thus I see that my point of control was coming also from self-interest and still wanting to somehow remain with the dignity of having studied something ‘meaningful’ or ‘more than’ any other career, which would then lead me to play a value game that is once again of the mind and of consciousness definitions.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to still go and see art in the hope that I will find something that is ‘life changing’ which is why every time I obviously come out without ‘anything’ or ‘nothing learned’ because I am seeing it all through the eyes of ‘come on, art exhibit, change me, change my life!’ which is impossible of course, it would be like thinking that praying to the image of a god or a saint will change your life, which is simply a delusion.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for having ever been fascinated with creations because I have now judged this as ‘vain’ instead of realizing that just as anything that we create in this world, we can appreciate it for what it is in its physicality and no longer having the ‘artistic value-frame’ with which I was trying to measure it against, as this is once again trying to control and impose my own perspectives and experiences toward ‘art’ itself upon others’ creations. It would be like trying to define which human being is more ‘beautiful’ than another or which tree is ‘more expressive’ than another – it is really pointless and a waste of breaths to be dwelling upon this kind of questions, because ultimately if there’s something in art is that precisely this whole ‘valuation’ scheme is meant to be broken or questioned at least.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged this point as ‘petty’ or ‘non important’ or there being more ‘relevant things to blog about’ but, I realize that due to the actual judgmental view that emerged within me while watching Marina Abramović’s documentary and when getting to know of artists gathering to create something around people that have disappeared through political reasons, it was then a point to of course review and open up within myself so that I can align this one point within me and my day to day living and so stop the judgmental me toward art or artists as a constant source of conflict.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I have some ‘right’ to judge something because of having ‘studied’ it, which is essentially a belief learned from how our system operates with licenses and such, without realizing that a judgment will always be a judgment specifically when it’s made in an attempt to debase or ‘debunk’ something as to ‘make it less’ in a way, wherein then my judgment becomes in my mind something ‘superior’ to point out.

 

In this the application is actually to ensure that I can investigate all things and keep what’s best, instead of investigating all things, judge and criticize with an attempt to ‘debase’ something and then place my judgment as ‘superior’ which is obviously a destructive and consequential way of looking at things.

I realize that I can use anything and anyone in my world as a mirror, and in this, whichever I may think, believe and perceive relates to ‘another’ is in fact about myself, because I can only think/judge something about someone  if I have judged myself in the same way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that I was in fact desiring to ‘take a position’ or ‘take a side’ in relation to art because of the self-definition I have created within and towards ‘art’ which is how one then creates a sense of ‘righteousness’ as in having ‘one stance’ in relation to it, which is all knowledge and information based, it is not at all considering what is common sensical or looking at what’s supportive within something – but instead, immediately putting on the ‘judgmental glasses’ and ‘finding fault’ eyes going into ‘attack’ mode to point out all the ‘flaws’ but all of these flaws are pointed out within the starting point of me already seeking to ‘debunk’ another, which is quite the usual nasty game that we play when we want to impose our own mind/righteousness, what we believe is ‘right’ above others.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to question the ‘impulse’ that I sometimes have in relation to wanting to talk about something/someone in an attempt to ‘debunk’ them while still holding a judgment with experience in it as to ‘prove it wrong’ – instead of realizing that I can talk about something/someone without having to resort to taking an antagonist stance toward it, but simply be able to reference it, to look at it in common sense and then  focus on reflecting any judgment back to myself, that’s the only way one can really develop self-honesty, and stop only criticizing things for the sake of feeling ‘righteous’ about something or someone and so justify my experience toward something or someone, in this case, my ‘experience’ toward art which shouldn’t exist at all as an experience.

In this it is to realize that any experience that I have toward something/someone, it indicates I have created a relationship to it, and so it becomes a point for me to take self-responsibility for which means: it’s never about ‘art’ itself, it’s about how I see it, who I am toward it and this is then a much more supportive starting point to look at art and visit art galleries, to see ‘what comes up within me,’ instead of visiting and looking at art from the starting point of ‘proving it wrong’ or wanting it to ‘match my ideal’ of art, which is why all this back and forth friction toward it emerged: it’s all an inside job.

 

I realize that ourselves as human beings tend to seek for answers or ‘find ourselves’ ‘out there’ instead of realizing that everything we require is already here, as ourselves. So in this, I commit myself to stop judging anything that we do/use in order to get to this point of self-realization, wherein I see that art can be used as a tool of self-reflection as with anything else in the world and what we create and do within it. This is where I then have to realize that my process and realizations cannot be the same as others’ and so, I have no authority to judge others’ processes, ideas, beliefs and perceptions – this process is about self-responsibility so here I then commit myself to always see art as a cool point of self-reflection wherein I stop all judgments ‘toward’ art or artists themselves, but rather see ‘who am I’ toward it and use that for my own process of self-honesty.

 

I commit myself to integrate the realization that everything that I judge or criticize in a judgmental manner is and only has to do with myself and the relationships I have created toward something/someone in my past, and so I can only look at things/people objectively where I can first identify if there is any reaction, take it back to self wherein I see the origin of such judgment toward it, do a self-reflective analysis on it in order to support me in common sense to immediately realize: I am imposing my past definitions upon this moment here –  and so I then focus on seeing, watching, reading and participating in anything related to art for what it is – no hidden agendas allowed within me.

 

For a review on the documentary:

 

What life can be

 

 

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370. Desteni Insider: God, Spirituality, the Afterlife

 

Coming to the realization that who we are in this world is not working to create a better world made me seek answers to try and make sense/justify the suffering, poverty, wars, corruption, a lack of consideration to one another that I used as an excuse to remain only within a persistent process of questioning reality beyond what one is taught in school. I grew up being influenced by the ideas of there being ‘Life after Death’ and the dead coming through channelers or mediums to tell their ‘loved ones’ how they were alright and how everything was going to be ‘just fine’ for them. But also there were messages coming from a form of ‘brotherhood’ from which myself and my family would be getting all sorts of apparent protections and blessings in order to ‘do well’ in our lives. I kept questioning who exactly these individuals were and why in spite of them seeing the people that were seeking for help – being mostly desperately seeking money – was there no divine intervention to support them and end the suffering, end world hunger or even better: establish Heaven on Earth. All that was shared between these spiritual people were nice messages that gave hope and reinforced any kind of faith that would keep everyone waiting and expecting things turning out to their favor as a sign that this ‘god’ or ‘spiritual beings’ actually existed and were in fact on our side,  taking care of ourselves and solving whichever mundane troubled situation we were stuck in. Yet all of this seemed too staged, too dogmatic since it wasn’t something one could openly discuss due to the entire atmosphere of secrecy and reverence that existed whenever these beings would speak through the channelers/mediums that could only speak for a short period of time.

 

I was then familiar with the existence of a heaven or a spiritual realm beyond the Earth plane where the dead would go, yet we never got any answers as to why the world was in the verge of destruction and why us human beings kept existing in these ‘lessons to be learned’ somehow always yearning for a better living condition (translated to having money to live well and in peace) – these and many other questions were not allowed, it seemed that all that really mattered were our personal queries of any form of personal relationship gone wrong, or money problem which, if resolved, would only confirm our trust on these individuals within the belief that somehow we were being ‘chosen ones’ or ‘special’ for having this kind of contacts. It seemed unfair to me since I knew that everyone in the world could benefit the same way we were – apparently – yet others didn’t seem to agree since I had to keep it a secret throughout my entire life.

 

When watching Sunette Spies as a portal in the Desteni videos that were being broadcasted on YouTube since 2007, the in breath and out breath wasn’t anything unusual or weird to me, I instead thought I knew what was going on: I immediately assumed and believed she was a channeler/ a medium like any of the other beings I had witnessed throughout my life – yet there were significant changes that made me ponder ‘what kind of brotherhood/beings were these’ because the message somehow was quite straight, direct, there were no staged words or fancy presentations charged with the usual key words that the other beings I had witnessed before would express themselves with.  I started questioning more and comparing the Desteni Message to what I had heard before from what I believed were the same kind of beings: how come these beings speaking through Sunette were speaking as any regular person? How come they would be speaking about there being No God and reptilian beings having created the human being? Why were they not just leaving with some message of hope and ‘goodness’ rectifying that god is with us? Instead the reptilian point was opened which wasn’t any longer a mystery to me since I had also done a brief investigation on the subject prior to Desteni. Everything I thought I knew about channelers/mediums was debunked when I got to watch the video and read the articles related to channeling (Kryon – Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Unconscious Mind Pre-programmed Channels, Questions and Perspectives: Continued pre-programmed Channels , Questions and Perspectives: Oneness and Equality with regards to ‘Channelings’ , Questions and Perspectives: How was psychics and channels controlled and why? , 2007 History of Mankind – Part 16 – Anu’s Plan – YouTube) explaining why it was also part of the program and why all forms of ‘light beings’ were part of the deception on Earth to keep individuals trapped in the belief that somehow, there was a benevolent god, that love was the way and that we only had to continue aspiring to have some manifestation of the divine through thinking positive or asking things to the universe. All of this was the real scam and later on understood as the cult of money that it has become nowadays (Read: Day 450: The Power of Now Illuminated)

 

So continuing with the previous post 369. Desteni: An Insider’s Report what I came to realize is that everything was in fact a preprogrammed and predesigned reality construct that we have been living in wherein even the higher beings, the gods, the ‘supreme energies’ that I had placed any form of belief upon were in fact also part of the reality design that we have all been participating in within our minds and in absolute separation of the reality that was certainly existing in complete dissonance to all the benevolent words we would get within the New Age culture – all of this was perfectly schemed as part of the diversion to never get to question ‘God’s creation’ and the beliefs we have acquired through familial and cultural tradition, all being part of the necessary programs that we have within and existing as Mind Consciousness Systems. This is when the point of enslavement was understood. I grasped how perfect the plan had been wherein everything in this world was in reverse and every single aspect of who we have believed ourselves to be as human beings in terms of the spiritual endeavors, seeking gods, bonding ourselves within religions, seeking eternal life, seeking the philosopher’s stone had been nothing else but a nice game that we blindly followed, never ever questioning why is it that we only sought our personal enlightenment, happiness and comfort? Why were we just expecting some god to do the work for us, or have these ‘special connections with a higher force’ while the rest of the world was submerged in suffering and agony due to lacking the necessary means to live which is the same as: lacking sufficient money to live; furthermore, why were all of these people suffering absolutely unaware that there were apparently some spiritual beings that could grant them healings and protect them from ‘all evils’ – apparently. This all made sense to understand how the vilest form of enslavement had to have a very agreeable and sugar coated image in order to be unquestioned and undoubtedly accepted as ‘truth,’ how our constant need to ‘seek god’ was just fearing to realize we are here alone and responsible for every single aspect that has gone wrong in this world, how the enslavement of humanity had been part of a ‘greater process’ by a few individuals that wanted to ‘be Gods’ in existence – it was all revealed to be a sick cosmic joke that we have all been a part of, life after life.

 

As I went through the material, I committed myself to remain skeptical about that which sounded the most fantasy like to me, simply because I could not witness myself the ‘other side’ or ‘the afterlife’/heaven  yet, once again the consistency of the message from the hundreds of beings from all walks in existence speaking through the portal lead me to realize that the final message was quite clear, consistent and made absolute sense as to why this portal had opened and why we they were calling out humanity to walk a process of Self-Honesty. I understood then how all the New Age agenda, the spirituality movement, the promoted ways for ‘peace of mind’ through meditation and seeking to align your chakras to be in resonance with god had been nothing else but a self-interest brainwashing that I had briefly participated in within an attempt to make my life less ‘miserable’ or as I experienced it to be miserable in my existential woes and ever present form of depression. After understanding religion, love, spirituality, channelings as a pillar and essential part to this enslavement of ourselves in our minds, I was ready to leave that all behind and instead begin walking a very different path that I never ever thought I would place myself in: letting go of the idea of god, of spirituality, of something or someone greater than me in order to get to know me as a creator in this reality.

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What I came to realize was that we were truly all alone as human beings, we are the direct creators of the reality that I was wanting to escape from or completely eradicate or disguise with some ulterior beliefs about a genuine spiritual realm that we could somehow rely to in order to be supported or saved in worst case scenarios by invisible beings or forced of the ‘goodness’ that I thought existed beyond the Earth plane, little did I know it was exactly the opposite that this reality existed as.

These realizations led me to understand how I had veered my life to seek answers and make someone else responsible for the mess on Earth due to the fear that I had about who we are and what we have become as the real perpetrators of our crime scene: the world-system imposed on the Earth. This was what partly caused the emotional breakdown that I had to go through in order to be willing to see beyond what I had initially sought to find at Desteni which was just ‘more of the same confirmations about the goodness in existence’ I was wrong. For the first time I had a crystal clear understanding that if we don’t stop deluding ourselves in spirituality, religions, gods, masters, etc. we will continue to abuse and eventually destroy ourselves if we don’t stop.

I went from being a profuse reader of religions, philosophies and watching all kinds of conspiracy theories videos to a more down to earth verifiable investigation of the state of the world; while being subscribed to the DesteniProductions YouTube Channel (2007-2011) we would regularly get all kinds of documentaries and videos that would expose the reality of this world: poverty, crimes against life, corruption in the political world, the destruction of nature, the abuse of the animal kingdom, the conspiracy theory that our economy and monetary systems are, the madness of the human mind, including spiritual messages that were now clearly understood as a genuine scam to divert the human’s attention from the real problems we had provoked in this world. I was taken aback due to the realization that I had mostly avoided watching the full graphic reality that takes place every single day in this world – It made me angry and sad at the same time, going into a depression upon realizing to what extent we have all been too focused on our personal endeavors to get all kinds of gifts from the universe, attract all the money, health and all the ‘good stuff’’ in our lives, aiming at living a happy fulfilled life without ever really wanting to understand how such nice life was in fact being manufactured/produced/created by every individual that is existing in a slave position that earns the daily bread through creating our personal heavens, the real and actual forced labor that exists in this world happens when having no money means: you die.

The sensitivity that I claimed to have toward the world, the usual depression that I would allow myself to be in whenever I would go out in the streets and witnessed the misery, the ‘soft violence’ and constant fear that we all existed in became slowly but surely debunked as the mechanism to protect myself from actually understanding my responsibility within the creation of the problem in this world. I came to understand that my sadness, my depression, my ‘wanting to end it all’ was another form of manipulation to not take responsibility for myself and this world –the constant belittling believing myself to be ‘too little’ to make a change in this world was exposed as a personality trait that had lead me to stand in the background, to choose seeking to create images and pictures that ‘made me feel good’ in an attempt to seek something of ‘real value,’ something ‘greater’ and meaningful to do the work for me, to protect me, to give me some comfort and happiness while pretending that I could ignore the harsh and crude reality that exists for every individual that somehow we have all collectively decided do not deserve to have a dignified living, and yes I realized I am part of the clan as a human being that have accepted and allowed this without a question throughout ages. I understood my self interest to only have a ‘good time’ in this life and be ‘against the system’ while seeking some higher connection with the spiritual realm that I believed was ‘what was real’ – I was wrong, I was absolutely blind.

 

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What became clear was that such ‘nasty thing’ that I had avoided to talk about and pretended to ignore was suddenly understood as the ‘real god’ of this reality: money and this was the simple message that I could clearly reference within my world due to having been keen on politics and sociology before my ‘spirituality’ phase that I had resorted to due to having been too disillusioned of the political and economic world that going to the opposite side was just another shot at ‘making it’ in this life. I had to go back to reviewing the facts of this reality, the same one that is here the moment we go out from the comfort of our homes and the money we have in our wallets – I realized it wasn’t ‘god’ giving me this life, it was money and so my spirituality trip came to an end within the realization that everything I had participated in was a feel-good story for me-myself and I in the mind and that it had made no difference whatsoever to the genuine struggle that the world is sinking in and is continuing to sink in, in spite of this also having been foretold by the various beings through the Desteni portal in 2007 . Five years later and humanity is still opting to hear the feel good fluff rather than walking through a process of self-investigation to see ‘who am I’ within this world, what is my responsibility within this and  how can I practically contribute to stop the madness in here in order to establish the constant and consistent message that Desteni presents and represents: Life in Equality.

 

I started shedding away the beliefs I had held till then since I understood it was only a mindjob in order to justify the worst crimes in our reality, including the monetary system as a belief system, the idea of self as a self-religion and the seeking of my personal desires as a self-interest life path that was contributing to the enslavement of the many and the ignorance that exudes from every corner of this world wherein we are so used to buying and consuming happiness and avoid anything that makes us re-consider who we are, what we’ve done and become and what we are here for.

 

Slowly but surely I made the decision to become an advocate of the rather ‘harsh’ side of reality in an attempt to provide sufficient evidence and personal realizations for all spiritual and religious devotees to hear about such as there being no god, we’re It and there’s nothing and no one coming to save us: we have to do it ourselves.

 

Once stripped from this individual aspect of spirituality that had lead me to voraciously read the articles on the desteni.org website and watch the videos available, I came to the conclusion that I had to obviously do something about this. It was impossible to now turn my back and pretend I didn’t just hear that, it would have been impossible for me to lie to myself any longer – so I directed myself to what was explained to be the practical process that each one of us could live by and apply: the process of Self Honesty through Writing ourselves to Freedom, Writing and Applying Self Forgiveness, Developing Common Sense and Dedicating ourselves to get to know who we are, how we came to be to begin stopping existing as a preprogrammed organic robot that gets to experience highs and lows in various personalities for all the various ‘life scenarios’ and occasions. That’s when I determined myself to be part of this process, because all of the enigmas about god, the afterlife, the creation of humanity were explained in such detail and with such consistency that the key to create and establish solutions on Earth existed in fact within our individual participation in this process – so, if this was the solution I made the decision to do it, I had to finally try these tools that they were constantly explaining and directing everyone to apply. This meant that I had to actually do the whole Process, I had to test the waters and see whether this was ‘for real’ or not – and so I committed myself to this, wanting to be ‘part of it all’ yet not really yet grasping the actual importance of this process on Earth and the changes that were to come within my world, this certainly was No longer an illusion.

SAYING THAT ‘THE WORLD IS AN ILLUSION’ IS AN ATTEMPT TO SOLVE THE PRIMORDIAL PROBLEM ON ‘WHAT IS REAL/ WHAT IS REALITY’ AND FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE LEAST EFFORT AND ‘SEEKING/ FOLLOWING YOUR GREATEST EXCITEMENT’ TO NOT HAVE TO FACE AND CARE ABOUT THE WORLD/ REALITY WITHOUT SEEING THAT THIS WORLD/ REALITY IS AS REAL AS WE HAVE TO EAT, SHIT, DRINK AND RELATE TO OTHERS TO CONTINUE EXISTING IN IT. HOW COME THAT WE AS HUMANITY DARED OURSELVES TO SIDE-VIEW THE MOST BASIC COMMON SENSE IN THE NAME OF JOY, HAPPINESS, FAITH AND HOPE? EASY, IT’S NICE TO REJOICE IN THE MIND AND NEGLECT OUR RESPONSIBILITY WITHIN IT ALL.

This will continue…

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The blog that explains it all : Heaven’s Journey To Life

 

Related blogs/ vlogs debunking spirituality – 

A selection of my investigation through the Desteni Process

2012 Life After Death–Interdimensional Portal | Testimony

The Video Tolle Doesn’t Want YOU to See

How to Raise Your Frequency (Ask Teal Episode on Increasing Your Vibrations

Spirituality and Capitalism Make sweet love through Hicks

2011 Pretty Happiness Machines – Vlog the Hell Out of this World

2011 AbrahamHicks – You Are Perfect As You Are – Video

2012 Spirituality and Activism Won’t Change the World – YouTube

Eckhart Tolle – Nirvana Is Already Here –

The Biggest Missing Piece – Abraham Hicks –

Fears and white light beliefs

Don’t try to get rid of the ego!” – Alan Watts’ review

The Jesus Message is Not Religious –

2010 ¿Spiritual Consciousness? Where’s the MATTER? –

2012 Positive Thinking Debunked! Heaven’s Journey To Life

2012 I Used to Be a Loving Person –

2012 Religious Consumerism: God is in the TV

2011 Vatican Exposed & the Faithful Deceived –

2010 EQUALITY: The END of All Religions

2012 Doomsday Character: Sick of Humanity?

2012 Existential Woes: Stop and Know Yourself

2012 Organic Self-Indulgent Lifestyle –

11.11.11 Opening Of The Portal Of The Divine

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1 –

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

The Secret History of the Universe: The Discovery of Light –

2010 Do You Want to Be ETERNAL? –

Bruce Lipton ‘ The Power Of Consciousness’ –

2008 I used to believe in a god

Law of Attraction is Based on Memory

Why isn’t Love an Illegal drug?

2012 Love is a Drug: Are YOU an Addict?

Life After God

135. ‘The Secret’ CULTivates Narcissists |

future and white light crap |

Day 11: I.O.U. Life as a Debt System of Power

Occupy LOVE: New Activist Brainwashing

2012 R.I.P. God |

2011 Desteni Portal: Objectives

Desteni y las Teorías de Conspiración

How I was able to Hear Desteni?

In Heaven Everything is Fine

 


332. Word Policy in Equal Money Capitalism

 

Explaining a new  conception of life in equality requires redefining words since they hold the key to understanding How we have constructed our reality. Therefore we have to look at words in order to conceive and be able to integrate the meaning of basic understandings and concepts that we as Desteni have developed throughout our process to be (exist) and become (integrate as a totality of ourselves) the living word, which means to speak, think and act within the consideration of what’s Best for All in Equality.

Word: a single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing, used to form sentences with others to express

Policy:  A  principle or rule to guide decisions and achieve best for all outcomes

 

We can call this a  Word Policy creation, a ‘fine tuned’ meaning of words according to what is best for all in Equality.

 

Continuing:

 

 

Problem                                                                 

Words are defined according to the relationships that we have created as the construction, organization, conception and understanding of ourselves in relation to everything and everyone in our reality. The reason why we have to redefine words is because all our words contain  multiple relationships of power and control that stands in separation of ourselves as equals. There are no words currently that mean equal-relationships, it is a Limited amount of words that we can use to signify an Equilateral Relationship between beings, or that indicate a tacit or implied symbiotic relationship, an inherent quality of sameness, a relationship of interdependence, an equal conception of who we are as every other being and particle in this existence as a part of ourselves.  All is All but we forget how to Live as such ‘All’ which means  understanding Equality.

The moment we thought, we separated ourselves from each other and became experiences in each other’s mind only, existing without any physical regard or consideration, because if we had been in fact physical beings with no mind, we would live according to physiological requirements to live and interact with each other. The problem is when we created value and generated a relationship toward objects or people according to beliefs, ideas, perceptions imposed onto physical reality.

The reason why it is important to understand the use of words in our explanations about Equal Money as part of our individual and collective education is because there’s a necessary bridge to create in order for every person that approaches our material – and is genuinely interested in understanding the world in equality – is able to understand what we are sharing without having any ‘gap’ left without clarification.

Language in itself is part of the program of the mind as a consciousness system that works and functions as a separate system in an opposite manner of how physical reality operates and regulates itself to exist in an equal-manner.  This means that the mind in its base  foundation and mechanism works according to consciousness as a system that runs on energy, and for energy to exist, friction and conflict must exist. This implies that the words and how we have lived them has lead us to create our image and likeness as all of these relationships of conflictive ideas, beliefs, perceptions, emotional and feeling reactions and essentially, how we ‘see the world’ is built according to how we conceive, understand and word the world.

By implementing these necessary changes and a new understanding in our fundamental way to conceive ourselves and reality in order to Live within it as an equal and one participant.

 

 

Solution                                                                

 

    Word Definitions:
    The simplicity of word definitions is obvious when there is only ONE and EQUAL focus point as Life. The interplay between what is best for all and what is not best for all will play the foundation role in all word definitions. This interplay is not a polarity as it is either best for all or not
    The word can have many dimensions in expression that will be what is best for all lifeBernard Poolman 

     

    The definitions are simple to understand, and place the person in self responsibility in immediately becoming aware that they aren’t aware if who they are is best for all, so the definitions must place the person in the position where they can no longer claim ignorance – Matti Freeman

 

  • Creating a Word Policy will imply that every individual will be aware of what is meant by every word written, thought and spoken to live, communicate and set the foundations of our conviviality,  wherein the meaning of the words will remain as a  physical consideration and no longer hold relationships and/or structures of power as knowledge and information that has perpetuated the Old world until now.

 

  • Words as the building blocks of our reality require our attention to integrate these basic equality and oneness considerations every time that we write or communicate verbally, to become aware of what is it that we are in fact wording ourselves as, within the unequivocal representation and understanding of our physical actions  this means: that we can be the word and exist as it, there is the ‘quality of being’ as a beingness that we become as the word and exist ‘as it,’ which is the accepted integration of a particular word as part of our  behavior, it is like an ‘application’ that we learn o live by.

 

Yesterday we reviewed what’s Best for All according to the physical reality requirements and general understanding of what each individual requires to have a fulfilling lifestyle, including the animals, plants and space that the human occupies and takes care after.

Here we look at the definition of Best within ‘What’s Best for All’

 

Best: what’s Best for All Life in All Ways Possible

  •  Best implies  the utmost potential

  • All Life: physical reality in all its dimensions, parts, particles, the fabric of existence
  •  All ways Possible in physical reality that  do not limit life, but rather instigate development and going beyond our current boundaries. In other words, what’s Best for All will be a physical possibility as a living principle because there will be no money concept that restricts this from being actually done.
 

Rewards  of
Redefining Words                                              
 
 

  • Being able to communicate with one another with equal understanding of each word we speak is the foundation to make of the Principle of Life in Equality a Reality, since it is through words that we have created our current living structures and as such, now work on developing the words that will enable us to create a new world based on understanding how to live and implement equality living conditions as part of the individual’s conception of reality.

 

  • Words are the creators of our reality, so, we have to equalize ourselves as the words we speak, learn how to take self responsibility for the equations we create as our ‘equalized’ definitions and realize that it is through Living the Words that we can speak about co-creating, which is an actual doing, a living application.

 

  • Paving the way to the New way of living begins with giving a new meaning to our present and then,  create our future according to this renewed word.

 

 
Happiness - Equal Money Capitalism  - Matti Freeman

 

 

Must Read:

 

Vlog:


298. Accumulating Consequence through Capital Accumulation

Continuing with:

Redefining Capitalism:

We’re going word by word in a very basic definition of Capitalism to redefine it, explore it and see what each word means and how we are able to re-direct every aspect of this collective agreement into a Best for All system.

Capitalism is an economic system that is based on private ownership of capital goods and the means of production, and the creation of goods and services for profit.[1][2] Elements central to capitalism include capital accumulation,competitive markets, and a price system.[3]

source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capitalism

 

 

capital accumulation

The accumulation of capital is the gathering or amassing of objects of value; the increase in wealth through concentration; or the creation of wealth. Capital is money or a financial asset invested for the purpose of making more money (whether in the form of profit, rent, interest, royalties, capital gain or some other kind of return.)This activity forms the basis of the economic system of capitalism, where economic activity is structured around the accumulation of capital (investment in order to realize a financial profit).

Human capital may also be seen as a form of capital: investment in one’s personal abilities, such as through education, to improve their function and therefore increase their income potential in a market economy.

 

Along with the ability to Profit comes the ability to concentrate such wealth and reproduce it, wherein the mere ownership of capital goods, means of production or capital in itself – sheer money – allows you to grow your already existent wealth, just because You Own it. This is how the Delusion of Ownership is quite the key problem here, since power will seek to expand itself and because we currently have the necessary policies to do so legally and have made it acceptable, our world that is life in itself, has been turned into a mere commodity that is diminished to a series of numbers that enable some people to have a ‘great life’ at the expense of a majority that lives like a slave, producing/working and doing that which others – the ones with all the money -will sell and benefit from, who also happen to set the rules of the game and the prices in a convenient manner.

 

I remember growing up in this country which I thought to be the most corrupt one in the world and would get pissed off at a very early age about how no one seemed to care to do things properly, to follow the rules, to be a good citizen – it all boiled down to us having corrupted governors and as such we would allow each other such corruption within ourselves, in our day to day living and believing that only if we cheat, we succeed, which is a well known saying as well.

 

We had discussed in the entry 295. Human Desire: Profitable Drive for Slavery how we have based our entire system in a series of predictable drives such as human’s desire to be fulfilled, satisfied, comforted, have a ‘good feeling’ which i s what is programmed at the tender age of 0-7 years of age and what we get, is certainly an ensured society that is reduced to a target-market by those that have the necessary means to produce a need, promote/advertise the solution/ the remedy and as such, ensure a life-long clientele that will be driven by the need to have these ‘good feeling’ experiences linked to sounds, pictures, words, symbols that affect who we are as the relationships we establish with our world and become our driving-factors without them even being aware of it at a conscious level. This is what we have accepted and allowed as mind control.

 

When we look at the accumulation of wealth it is precisely this mechanism that enables the world of the riches go round, because their wealth is made out of all the times that we didn’t distribute profit equally. Then, life is made a  ‘struggle’ and something you have to ‘fight for’ while forgetting that what we are consuming and backing our money with  is of the Earth’s resources and Human Work and no one should have a legitimate right to Own it to further a means to create More money to enslave other fellow living beings.  The solutions to stop Profiting were placed in the previous entry 296. Profit in Equal Money Capitalism. What we have to focus now is precisely tackling the delirium that we’ve created within this ability to profit, which is accumulating money/capital called wealth and made the ‘ultimate goal’ equated to the sense of happiness and fulfillment, all of it a lie, of course, because the Lie in itself has been the belief that we become ‘More’ if we generate more money and linking ‘the Kingdom of God’ to material possessions.

 

This is where the actual Self-Correction takes place. As we have explained many times, we can set the rules, the most perfect viable solution to ensure that No accumulation of wealth takes place, that no unjust and abusive profiting takes place and that all resources are distributed in an equal manner – but, if the individual does not realize the effect of a single acceptance of ‘wealth’ as a point of being able to earn more than others At their expense – which means: not sharing with them what corresponds to them as  part of their profit-share – and see what such allowance of a Desire to be More creates at a global level, we will have to go through a point of loss in order to realize how money in itself is not ‘the power’ but the resources that back it up, the people that work the land and that make the system functional – and this implies that any form of gold or any believed standard is irrelevant when economy should have always been about managing the Earth’s resources, the retribution of work to all human beings and Not creating rules and regulations to cover up/ manage and create policies that care after people’s amount of fictional wealth. 

 

This also means that people with the most money are dependent on their money and as such they are not really free and this should be grasped to understand that we have all enslaved each other no matter what type of advantage is currently perceived, because even if someone has the ability to make money out of the money that is already available to them according to their context – family/heritage, nation-  what such human beings are taught to do is to reproduce their wealth, to continue accumulating in order to remain in ‘power,’ which is the ability to make decisions and rules that will not benefit the ‘greater good’ but a small sector that act in a very cunning way, using all means that are programmable to the human mind for the majority to accept the fact that ‘there will always be someone above us’ and as such, imprinting the necessary fear to Never challenge this accumulation of wealth and the deceptive/ abusive means to generate it.

 

This taps into one single aspect that has been ingrained as part of our Consciousness: the human purpose to ‘conquer the world’ and have a meaning beyond what we already are, wanting to make Life More than what it is, all because of accepting and allowing ourselves to be defined by our material possessions and the energetic experiences that we’ve linked to that which we buy with money as something that makes us Happy and Secure and Fulfilled, just like we felt in our mother’s womb. The problem is when we’ve attempted to recreate it without really caring who one has to ‘step over’ just to get things working our way, but this way has been made a reliable program that makes the same system of inequality function in a ‘legal manner.’ It’s interesting that we seek change to come from the outside, without realizing how it’s been ourselves as individuals striving for specialness, power and wealth that re-create the system we complain about, which is in essence a collective agreement to lie, deceive and cheat to get ahead in the game, and this is ‘how things work’ without anyone complaining. This prevents any form of real growth within our human civilization, any real education because all education will be veered o maintain the same status quo and this is what is leading us to the brink of our own self-destruction, since such ‘power’ is only founded upon abuse by these flawed mechanism to accumulate Wealth without any form of integrity to ponder how we can manage to have all of this ‘well being’ for a few and allowing others to still starve, have no toilets, running water, education or health care.

 

Thus, our responsibility is Collective: we cannot blame only ‘those’ that are able to accumulate capital as a means to engross their wealth, but we have all collective agreed on such mechanisms and continue doing so without any further question. This is what We must change: not through protests, not through further compliance but developing and proposing a new way to do politics:

Equal Money Capitalism

 

to be continued…

The Solution: Equal Growth for Every One

Equal Growth -Steady Economy - Equal Money

 

Blogs:


177. Imagining Positive Outcomes as Conditions to Move

Imagination Reactions – Procrastination Character
Positive Imagination

Within this, the imagination of a ‘better thing to do’ such as simply going out for a walk and imagining the entire play out of having a ‘cool time’ within it forms part of the immediate thought and imagination that covers-up the points I reviewed in the last blog in relation to the negative imagination.

The other future projection is exactly the opposite of what I have imagined/ pictured myself in within the point of confrontation with the ‘jury’ and instead of having them bashing my work, praising and ‘loving it’ which is how I then also create this laxity and sensation within me of relief, or even expectation as an experience wherein all of this is happening in my mind with no actual physical ‘input’ so to speak to actually simply get this done and stopping future-projections that only serve my own mind-interest instead of giving myself direction in the physical.

As I had explained as well, walking as the ‘sacred time of the day’ within my routine, as that untouchable aspect that I have defined as a ‘must do no matter what’ and how I can implement this same drive toward any other point/ activity in my reality.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with excitement to going out for a walk due to how I have defined this experience of walking outside as a positive thing to do within my day, yet it has been used to also distract myself to get to the positive point in my day and avoid looking at the rest of the points that also require my attention and equal-input to get them done thus

When and as I see myself reacting with enthusiasm and excitement and be just ‘ready’ to go out for a walk, I stop and I breathe – I realize and make sure that I am not using this as an excuse to leave what I have to do ‘for later’ and excusing myself with further self-talk of why I should go outside – thus

I commit myself to make the decision to go outside based on how I have covered my basic priorities during the day or not – as I realize that it is within this excitement and expectation of going outside that I suddenly ‘let everything go’ and justify it with ‘giving myself some time’ but from the perspective of actually pushing aside/ covering up the initial negative experience that I am in fact trying to ‘make alright’ through the positive experience of going out for a walk, which is not acceptable.

I commit myself to expand and express myself as ‘steadfastness’ toward every activity that I commit myself to do, as this is what I see and realize assists and support me to not allow myself to go into thoughts, pictures, imagination about ‘doing something’ but simply giving myself direction in a physical manner, not allowing myself to have ‘second thoughts’ about things.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself within a situation of facing/ confronting and exposing my written document to more people and them reacting with amazement and delight about what I have to say, creating a positive experience within me in that moment of being imagining this such as a warm sensation in my stomach and creating this upliftment within me that I am only making up in my mind and experienced at a physical level, without seeing and realizing that I am in fact NOT doing anything physically but only up there entertaining myself in my mind with positive outcomes and expectations that have no foundation in any way whatsoever but mere desires and delusions of grandeur – thus

 

When and as I see myself imagining myself in this future projection moment of presenting my work to more people, I stop and I breathe – I realize that this positive experience is a cover up for the fear of having the exact opposite happening in reality within the same situation as a negative experience – thus I realize that in order to DO something, I don’t require to future project, I don’t require to have either a positive or a negative experience, it is only about myself being congruent with my doings and commitments that I am pressing here and stop all mind-entertainment that serves no other purpose but making it ‘alright’ within my mind to simply not do things and believing that ‘somehow’ it will all turn out just fine, which is the laxity that must be stopped in order to get to the physical points that must be done.

I commit myself to stop imagining pictures, moments with more people ‘praising my work’ and within this reacting with a positive experience of upliftment, grandeur, importance that is only founded upon my mind, my secret desires to ‘win’ no matter what and be ‘recognized’  – I realize that within these seemingly ‘innocent’ participation in the mind, I am in fact abdicating the self responsibility toward actual physical DOING and instead, I am getting a physical high of thoughts in my head, which proves to what extent I have allowed myself to use my physical body as a self-projector of ‘good experiences’ while leaving the actual DOING for ‘another time,’ which implies that imagination as a positive experience is also another way to procrastinate and delude ourselves into a positive outcome without any real foundation of it as a physical-doing.

I realize that indulging in imagination is also a way to suit my needs and ‘soothe my fears’ like covering them up with something ‘better to think,’ instead of realizing that this is not about a Thinking process but a Doing that does not require me to project a future certain outcome that I can create a point of ‘satisfaction’ about, without physically first doing it.

This reveals how I have tended to only ‘move’ myself based on having a certainty of ending up ‘winning’ having the result that ‘I expect/ that I want’ and when this is not  in place, I do not do it because of actually being fearing the ‘negative outcome’ within all of this, which is how I comfort myself with ‘positive outcomes’ without realizing how either/or positive or negative are equally abusive in fact.

 

Thus, equalizing myself to the physical dimension of reality implies: I do not require to have ‘certainty’ created in my mind toward doing something, I simply require to just do it.

I realize that I do not require to have a positive input or drive to do things through imagining a ‘reward’ of sorts for doing it, that would be conditioning myself to only move according to there being ‘something in it for me.’

I realize that If I am here to stand for an equal and one self-movement as the physical, there has to be no energetic drive existent within me to ‘feel like doing something’ – I instead, take a deep breath, recognize that breath as the physical living-force is all I really require to get things done.

More to come

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Day 7– Deconstructing Sugar

Yesterday we had a chat with regards to food and quitting sugar, which is a point I have been consciously procrastinating due to the extent of the relationship that I have created with all things that create a sense of satisfaction, which are related to: sugar! I wrote out yesterday how obvious it was in my body experiencing the rush of sugar, I have made vlog about it as well in the past and I ‘reduced’ sugar for a while, then went back to it or at least not giving specific self-direction to the point, which was leaving the back door open for me to go in and out whenever I wanted.

 

This is about me as the creator of my own preferences, quirks and chemical addictions such as sugar. I am aware that this point is ‘far more extensive’ than any other relationship I’ve had, as this is about food that I’ve become so used to eating and ‘sweetening’ my life with, wherein it obviously at times became the ‘consolation price’ for all emotional down-loops, which is the most common way to divert my attention from what’s here.

 

I also realize that the last time that I was talking with my mother about sugar and stopping it, she told some something like ‘oh don’t be so hard in yourself, it’s not like you won’t ever eat anything with sugar ever again’ and in that, I could see how I gave myself this leeway to keep eating it as ‘the only pleasures left in life.’ I have also defined myself or creating myself a reputation for liking sugary things, specially when it comes to going out with my parents and having the opportunity to eat apfel strudel, lol my perdition.

 

I have to forgive myself the relationships that I build with the people that I buy food from. An example is stopping a relationship with a woman in the bakery as that friendliness is what kept me going to such bakery even if it was definitively more expensive than others. But then, I’ve created yet another relationship with other people where bread was cheaper and I made a habit of buying the same bread which lead the people there know what I like and identify me as the predictable robot I’ve become when it comes to buying items. God, the same in the supermarket actually… What is this revealing to me? That I have also compromised myself to buy and consume based on the relationships that I create with people and how they ‘identify me’ according to what I buy.

 

I cannot continue compromising myself in any way. I mean, if I walk past the bakery on a daily basis and I won’t buy there any longer, I might as well go in there to let them know that I won’t be buying bread from them as I have to take care of my sugar addiction. LOL

 

I realized how I have allowed sugar in my life as a ‘treat’ and I would deliberately ignore the side effects that I had to ‘endure’ as opposed to the deliciousness that was eating a cake for example. I mean, this should be read as masochism here, I’ve experienced how it is not cool for my body yet I kept doing it.

So in these seemingly ‘making up for’ type of experiences, we accept a LOAD of bs that comes in the form of ‘small allowances’ such as when you buy something and believe that you will be able to keep it for a week, and end up eating the whole thing in a few hours only. Stuff like that is creating the necessary alarms to realize: hello, I am not being the directive principle in my world, I am allowing myself to simply indulge into it for the comfort I experience within my body as I consume food that is ‘sweet.’

Ludicrous, we have created relationships toward food of course, and in that we have made of such a vital point an addiction, which is just an outflow of having made of our own thoughts a surrogate living as well as the emotions and feelings tied to ‘living’ as well as eating.

 

So let’s begin with that:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link sugar to a positive experience within my body wherein I have associated everything that is sugary as something that I ‘like’ by default and that I cannot say ‘no’ to, without realizing that as I stand as the directive principle within me, I have to create such ability to not be driven by a mental desire to eat sugar, but instead discipline myself to support my body with meals that are not creating me an ‘instant gratification’ such as sugary meals.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a self-definition base on it being ‘too difficult’ to quit sugar which means I was giving up before even trying it, which is ‘the’ point of self interest as a nice-fluffy experience that I can get from eating sugar, which I must now discipline myself to re-direct in a supportive manner, which is the process that I’ll be walking as I face this point.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let go of the idea of me being a sucker for desserts and specially, apfel strudel that I have defined as my favorite dessert of all time. I realize that deserting of myself as the idea of being an ‘apfel strudel sucker’ is something that I must let go of in order to stop existing as that energetic tie to it as a picture in my head of what I ‘enjoy,’ without realizing how much backchat it would occupy in my mind when being abroad and not able to get that specific apfel strudel that I like.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a thinking-relationship to getting the treats that I ‘like’ and in that, using my mind to continuously manipulate myself into getting that ‘quick fix’ of eating something sweet, without actually taking into consideration what sugar is and what it actually does to my body.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to procrastinate giving direction to stopping sugar because of fearing ‘missing out the sweetness of life’ by stopping eating sugar and bread and all of which I had created a relationship defined as ‘comfort’ and ‘consolation,’ which is mostly a coping mechanism when I am not willing to face myself a certain point that I am allowing to accumulate within me as backchat –  have resorted to instead cover it up by using something sweet to eat to neglect the actual experience that I am creating within myself and go into a sense of ‘satisfaction’ after it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create relationships of giving myself ‘rewards’ or ‘treats’ that I would create a relationship toward as that energetic longing for it, which is how I require to stop and see who I am without such treats and how I am able to replace such sugary treats with vegetables and other meals that are supportive and nutritional other than a piece of bread.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to the sensation of chewing something that I have defined as ‘whole’ and ‘filling’ such as bread in my mouth and stomach.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect the common sense that something that is altering my physical body to a sense of discomfort while digesting it, is simply not cool for my body and that I should stop it, yet instead allowed me to ‘swallow’ the side effects because of considering it to be the ‘consequences to bear’ for having such a pleasant and delightful taste in my mouth – and mind – out of eating something sweet.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to eat something that I know beforehand won’t support my physical body providing actual nutrients,  but instead allowed me to abuse my body to digest such gulps of sugar ‘just because of liking the flavor/ taste’ of it, and the sense of comfort and fulfillment that I would get out of it, which is my mind creating an energetic experience out of eating, which is certainly Not supportive at all.

 

I am here to support my physical body and that means stopping that which I have researched, realized and experienced in my body to be equal to  poison that makes my entire blood rush throughout my veins in an abnormal pace, which means that I am forcing and exhilarating my physical functioning at some level that is Not supportive for myself.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to abuse my organs and my physical body that had to digest such amounts of sugar and me neglecting the actual strain that I’ve experienced to digest sugars, yet allowed it in the name of pleasure and a ‘piece of heaven’ such as when eating bread, cakes, apfel strudel and cookies – and in a lesser value: chocolate.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having created such ‘untouchable’ items in my diet like eating bread and consuming that which is always ‘nice to grab a bit from,’ because of wanting to fulfill and satiate the usual sugar cravings that I have accepted and allowed myself to become addicted to – yes, I must realize that I am dealing here with a life long dependency as the acceptance of sugar within me as a stimulant to create a sense of ‘feeling good,’ no different to seeking love and light, really.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to link the idea of sugar to ‘being cared for/ being appreciated/ being pampered/ being spoiled’ from the relationship of getting such sugary stuff from my parents whenever I go to visit them.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to place value in a person that I met and made me 5 different types of cakes for my birthday and equating that to ‘care’ and ‘appreciation.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a dependency to eat ‘sweet stuff’ such as bread or sweet rice in order to give myself ‘a bit of a reward’ during the day, as if I had to be consoled and fulfilled with such moments of eating ‘sugary stuff’ equated to ‘me caring for myself,’ without realizing that such sugar has no nutritional value at all and that it is certainly not necessary within my every day diet. Thus, I walk the process to prove to myself that I can continue living without eating these obvious items that contain high levels of sugar.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist quitting sugar and having procrastinated it for such a long time, because of fearing missing out on that which I have defined as ‘the most enjoyable stuff’ as eating something that I can have a sense of fulfillment through and as sugar.

 

I know it is possible to stop as some other Destonians have shared their on processes of stopping sugar and I could see myself just keeping quiet throughout the chat because I resisted placing a commitment to do the same and stop eating the most obvious items that contain sugar – there is also a point of ‘oh what if I ‘fail’?- but I can’t, because I’ve made decisions to quit other stuff in my life that was obviously addictive – including people and activities. I also understand that the relationship I’ve created with sugar is quite a ‘tough one’ in relation to how I have accepted myself as always requiring something ‘sweet’ to end the meals with, even if it was a sip of some juice or ‘fiber cookies’ or some other ‘taste’ that I could satisfy my desire to EXPERIENCE the sugary taste in my mouth as ‘the final taste.’

 

I have recently cut eating yogurt which had been part of my self-religion in food, it’s probably a month of that already – I tried quitting milk right away but my body went absolutely aloof, so I’m still drinking it in a very reduced manner – this is also in relation to the processes we’re walking and how we require to support our physical in relation to the meals I have been so used to eating and that I cannot just ‘cut out’ overnight. 

 

And so, I commit myself to stop eating any sugary stuff – specifically bread which I have defined as a ‘filler’ in both a physical and experientially speaking as that moment of actually chewing the bread as a ‘relief,’ as a satiating moment that I have defined as ‘giving myself a treat’ due to the obvious amounts of sugar it contains.

 

Sugar is a must stop – there are diabetics in both sides of my family. Actually I know that my grandmother died of diabetes and my sister – when she was little – would hand her chocolates in a secretive manner until she died. So, I see myself in that mirror and realizing that I do have a predisposition to being a sugar junky – the same with my other grandmother that is also dead and would be a yogurt junky, lol.

So, evidence proves that I must stop sugar, I have been also more aware of this sensations that food produce within me and yesterday I went to the shop and bought some greens and vegetables, which is something that I was only buying every now and then. I also realize that I will take the opportunity to find out how my body works without rice – which has become ‘the main meal’ in my diet – yet it makes absolute sense that it does turn into sugar as any other grain, including wheat. I knew this from my sister – who is a nutritionist – yet I continued fooling myself because of the routine, remaining in the status quo with what I eat – I  mean this uncovers how I tend to make of my days a bit of a ritualistic movement – however it’s going much better.

I am not as obsessed with cleaning as I was before, and having everything ‘perfectly’ around me, I am less concerned about ‘how things look’ around me yet I have to be aware of making it functional as well. And so, within this entire point of walking the physical process, something that Bernard said got stuck in me the other day in relation to creating patterns and habits that are supportive as we are now walking the physical process. Thus I realize that it is the ‘perfect time’ to establish that which I am willing to maintain as a living-experience in the physical as myself.

 

I have made a habit of buying bread as the only ‘treat’ I give to myself. I walked it in a mind construct a few months ago, lol and I only stopped going to ‘that’ bakery that I wrote the mind construct about, but then found a cheaper one which made it easier for me to have access to bread again. So, I realize that identifying all the points is key and I am perfectly aware when I make the ‘decision’ or should I say when I indulge-into stopping by the bakery and buying bread. I usually associate it with a reward system that I have created for myself in relation to what I eat – which I took as ‘normal’ as in ‘giving myself a treat’ but I see that I can become quite sneaky when it comes to these allowances and not really disciplining myself to it.

 

However, I am taking it bit by bit, I do take my body into consideration to reduce the amounts of it little by little as I’ve seen how cutting down meals that I had built myself of can be quite disturbing in an overall physical experience that is not comfortable at all.

 

I also realize that I must increase meat consumption with that, which I can only see I have limited myself to because of money – so there you go! our experience, nutrition and relationship to food is directly linked to how much money we have. I am perfectly aware that I could buy all of such variety if I had the money to do so, and seek for organic stuff that is absolutely expensive here. So, at the moment I’ll seek for the best options which means buying more vegetables, which are certainly not expensive.

 

So, thanks for all that have shared their experiences with stopping sugar, that is the type of support and ‘inspiration’ that I required because this is one of the points that absolutely goes ‘against Marlen’s will’ I mean, me the cookie-girl no way! – lol yes I once sold cookies during summer time with my cousins and called ourselves ‘cookie girls’ – we would bake cookies and sell them to our neighbors, it was quite fun but we obviously would eat the remains and so, that was not supportive at all.

 

This point of liking desserts is yet another ‘chunk’ of myself that I have created and continued to generate as a positive experience – I mean, I’m glad that I have come to build a taste for vegetables – thanks to my mother that would nag me to do so – but now I have to actually get rid of that which would ‘console’ my desire to experience something ‘sweet’ within me. So I’ll continue walking this point as I go, for now this is it.

 

I commit myself to being this process of cutting down sugar to eventually be able to stand and see that I am still here after quitting all major sources of sugar in my daily diet.

 

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2012 Stopping judgment–a walking process

There’s one aspect that I have been more ‘keen’ to these days which is the experience of being physically around many beings, like at the movies. I actually enjoyed the point of watching the same movie with several other people in the same room – even if I went ‘by myself’ – it is also a cool way for me to not distract myself with something else or believe that I should be doing something else instead of watching films, which allows me to then focus and simply enjoy. I thought of how people would enjoy going to the movies for the sake of the whole thing about ‘going to the movies’ and sharing that moment with many others at the same time.

 

In the past, the ‘discomfort’ felt within going to the movies was because of thinking that it wasn’t ‘normal’ for me to go alone to the movies, and I would mostly fear people judging me or judging the fact that I was all alone while I could see all of these couples or families around. However at that time, I simply took the judgment as a point of definition and turned such point as ‘pride’ within ‘going alone to the movies’ instead of taking the point through an actual self-correction process wherein it is now through stopping the backchat toward myself and activities I do alone, that I am able to actually start living the sheer physical-aspect of being in a movie theatre with many other beings. I noticed how even having people sitting next to me would become an excuse to bring up thoughts according to sensing ‘liking/ disliking’ the being. This time I stopped the thoughts and brought my focus and attention here – breathing and taking all beings equally – eventually what I see is that through stopping such judgments as separation from others beings, you literally integrate your surrounding as yourself – one and equal – there’s no reaction and the point of focus becomes the movie in itself. Took some time though to get to this point while watching the movie.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to fear being seen ‘alone’ at the movies

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to ‘feel’ that the person next to me is a ‘cool person’ and judging another one as ‘annoying’ just because of him making noises with some wrap.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel uncomfortable within the theatre when ‘unknown people’ sit next to me because of considering it as an ‘uncomfortable moment’ due to the judgments I create about this point in my head, projecting such ‘discomfort’ as ‘how I perceive the others also experience the moment’ within themselves.

When and as I see myself getting uncomfortable when sitting next to a stranger, I stop and I breathe – I realize that I am only assessing such ‘discomfort’ at a thought level wherein I am going into my mind to ‘judge the being’ instead of actually realizing we are human beings, sharing the same space just as we share this entire world with one another.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear proximity with strangers which is simply indicating that I have judged contact/ physical approach as something that is ‘invading my privacy’ which is another point that is created out of fear wherein we only want this ‘space’ for ourselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as this ‘aversion toward unknown people’ which lead me to seclude myself in the past, simply because of not wanting to interact in public places with other beings, such as the movies.

 

 

I’ve been visiting my family for the past week, I’ve had a cool time doing stuff I don’t usually do like running around with kids at my niece’s first year b-day party. I attended a baptism mass wherein I simply spent my time taking pictures and communicating.

 

I enjoyed playing with kids at my niece’s party,  I let go of any backchat that emerged at the beginning with thoughts  like ‘oh what will people say about me running around with 5 year olds?’ As soon as I saw the limitation, I simply did it. It was quite a big party and I actually was glad to see some people that I had not seen for some years, probably since the last wedding I attended, which was my sister’s wedding back in 2008. I never thought I would be glad and actually enjoy seeing people from the past – family and friends of the family.

Later on I got to know that I was playing with children from my sister’s friends whom I have known for over a decade, it was quite interesting to see how I didn’t even know most of the kids. They are the only ones that dare to ask about my hair and strike conversations about stuff that matters, like how they experience their teachers in school or relationships with their siblings. As we grow up, we create these barriers wherein we ‘learn’/ are told ‘what to share’ and ‘what not to share’ simply because of considering it as ‘too private to share’ and in that, limit our ability to open up and share with others what we are actually experiencing in our lives.

 

I also spent some time with my cousins, it’s been cool to walk a process of having been quite judgmental two years ago toward their teenage-years – I decided to establish communication with them within and it’s been cool the very few times that we get to see each other. I had fun while making some photos with them, at least that kept them away from simply being sitting around with iPhones and iPods on.  I also enjoyed being out of the city and spending time running around, taking pictures and talking with kids, teenagers and adults alike. That is what I see it’s actually fun now. I’ve learned so much just from being open to talk to people that I had thought ‘we had nothing to talk about’ in the past, such as an uncle, from whom I’ve learned about some of the gun policies here in Mexico, as well as the production of potatoes and all the pesticides they require in order to have the picture-perfect presentation, and how to know when meat contains this component that enables the tissue to retain water and once you fry it, the meat shrinks because all water is then evaporated. I was able to cross-reference some studies on milk as well with my cousin that is a biologist and soon also a psychologist, and it was quite cool.

We’ve become so image driven that even our food goes through extensive chemical processes in order to have the picture-perfect presentation – how abusive have we become to do this onto ourselves as our physical body and also do it onto our food, not really caring about the actual nutritional aspect of it once that it is genetically modified and sprayed multiple times throughout its growth only to get a ‘presentable’ potato.

 

Besides everything that I was able to learn just by this ‘openness’ that I have placed into action, I have realized how my perspective toward other people changes the moment that I stop judging them within the same ‘frame’ that I used to see them through. I have deliberately taken on the point of stopping the immediate judgment because this is something that I had known for some years, however for some reason the moment that I heard it from someone that had been judged indiscriminately while being on Earth like Gaddafi, it certainly shook my being to the core wherein I am definitely walking the application of stopping all automated judgment.

And this is the point that I wanted to get at here. It takes quite a diligent process to actually apply Self Honesty within our day to day living, it is so easy to slip into the mind at any given moment. However, experiences are not able to last for long.

 

 

denken

 


How I was able to Hear Desteni?

This wasn’t planned at all, but on a day like today January 29th but in 2008 I stumbled upon my second Desteni video which I got to finally watch. I was alone at night in my apartment and ready to get back to school in the following days, while continuing a process of being longing for a change in my life in a desperate manner.

The months before Desteni – and my entire lifetime if I could say so – I searched for answers that I could not get in encyclopedias or my dictionary. I sought into the occult and mystic realms another form of ‘knowledge’ that could make any sense to all of this ‘life’ of mine of which I was losing my ground on. I was absolutely enthralled with spirituality, the idea of ‘God’ being everywhere, us being god, being one, seeking love, wanting to ‘feel love’ and within this getting quite a burnt perspective on reality which lead me to follow certain ideas/ beliefs of myself having this benevolent mission in life that I had to seek ‘guidance’ for in order to ‘fulfill’ it.

At that time I was questioning myself extensively. I would write about losing the ‘meaning’ of who I am and how I had to go back to memories to remind myself ‘who I was,’ yet at the same time not believing that all I was is this ‘so-called lifetime’ as I wrote. I had been interested in how everything develops/ works as a process in life and this curiosity is what lead me to research on various topics like religions, philosophy, mysticism which included alchemy, magic, esotericism, kabbalah, Sufism and the list goes on with various ‘isms.’ I mean, I tried to get a hold of each thing to see what ‘suited my interests.’ Now we know that religions are designed according to people’s minds and cultural lifestyles which now makes me realize how it is that I couldn’t ‘fully identify’ with any of them. I wanted to ‘make my own religion’ as a syncretism of all of which I could find ‘supportive’ from each one of these religions/philosophies/ practices/ cultures, etc.

I’ve been quite fond of writing and I had been doing it for 8 years by that time wherein I wrote “I know the writings and the essence of my thoughts are creations.” Yet all of this I would still link to the idea of ‘enlightenment’ which is essentially what I was seeking at the time. I also would feel like ‘death’ was around the corner – yep, it was the death of me as who I had believed myself all the time.

I’ll share my exact words on the first encounter with Desteni written out in the evening of January 29th, 2008:

“So I saw this girl from Desteni bringing Ian Xel Lungold who is the man that got me investigating about the Mayan Calendar. So I thank him, now I know what goes one a bit more. . I mean, it’s really tough when you truly think of it, but it is completely plausible as I’ve been in touch with such things since I was a little girl. I was brought up with the belief in spiritualism. Basically my whole life has been based in their beliefs.”

Then I describe several events that I used as a form of believing that spiritualism was real as in ‘real life events’ that supported me to believe in it. I proceeded to write hours later – I apologize for the sketchy and jumpy type of enunciation, but I was mostly on weed all the time and I would write in a rather messy way, yet I wanted to share it as ‘raw’ as it is, this is to clarify that the words might not be well suited to describe ‘Desteni’ yet it was how I grasped it at the time.

“It’s 11:05 and I come here only to make or point out the fact/ statement that a whole dimension of who I was has been completely/ almost shattered today. Something beyond here and there changed my mind. So the channel (portal) can be applied to Einstein, Tesla, Marilyn Monroe, Dimebag Darrel I mean, everyone. So there goes this manifestation… It is beyond all schemes, I couldn’t have (illegible ‘thought this’) not even in my wildest dreams. But seeing Kurt Cobain speaking through a blond woman makes you wonder how you really haven’t (illegible) on stuff, even more when we’ve certainly felt like I didn’t belong here. The idea of good and evil dissolving, I hadn’t thought about the idea of god and it makes me wonder. We are our words and I allow myself to forgive myself for ALL and for it ALL. Each pinch of doubt, fear, insecurity might come from my pre-installed system as it feels odd to be coming out of the end. […] So it’s been a long, long day filled with truly, this time TRULY unexpected information, therefore I’m grateful and I’ll try to begin acting as one, being honest with myself as the very chains of reality, this shadow world comes to a transformation from the core. I want to assist that change.

I’ll try to watch them all (videos.) Lots of good vibes. I thank everything until now for I am indeed now aware of my own nature”

And that was the entry for the day. The real ‘shift came through the writings two days after I spent all my time watching videos while having the last days of vacation from school.

The following pages contain very ‘powerful’ realizations that I would like to share here in a summed-up version of entire pages wherein I expressed how excited I was and all that I was ‘ready to give up’ for this process. I’m even a bit flabbergasted myself to see how immediate my decision was to HEAR – and this is all mostly because of seeing the common sense in having to be the ones that cut the chains of our own shackles in this world.  I’ll transcribe a bit here:

“It’s the last day of the first month. It could officially mean that it’s the end of my vacation time and all I can realize is that all my life could be thrown out the window right now because my belief systems have fell and with it, many things I became a part of. I saw each system demon come in and talk about polarities, beauty, addictions, god, trinity, everyone, everything. And this made me ‘feel better’ like I have a solution to the possible outcome of it all. I heard LaVey saying who he’s is/was a demon and he’s in the dimensions observing how humans go to heaven, their heaven once they die.

So me and that LSD experience. I won’t ever do that again as I must realize what I saw was still the product of our mind. I am really curious about Gurdjieff and his afterlife. He says he was erased from Earth because he realized true awareness of ‘I am.’

So really, it is a BIG change for I now know my thoughts, feelings, emotions are part of the system I am. This isn’t really me, we’re covered in bags of skin with huge egos while thinking about success and happiness in the system. I don’t know what I’ll become or what will actually happen after this whole breakthrough. I really feel I want to quit it ALL. I mean it. So, words are me.

Really this is the end of our world as we know it, really. What will come is our Self Realization through the destruction of our systems/demons and I feel think 2012 will be only a shifting time for all of us to save Mother Earth and become Aware, not saved as Jesus (through the Portal) said, but become aware that I don’t have to worship anyone […] Therefore I won’t be experiencing the unity as I thought. It’s good I’ve got a record since 2000 of my life, so now I will consider, re-consider it all…”

Feb 5th and my world was falling apart already within my relationship in terms of how I began sharing about Desteni with family and friends in a rather enthusiastic manner that didn’t suit their scheme of who I was/ what I was supposed to be. Here I share something of this day

“I’ll be like the temperance so I may have time to realize how we exist through relationships. It can’t make me sad anymore, it’s a fight against my own mind. That is judgment day, is here for me, it’s beginning. I do not believe in anything outside of myself anymore, no more religions, no more surrendering to a higher power. There’s no such God as we are god ourselves. All of us, we just have to realize it.

[…] The deal with it all now is becoming my words and it requires subjugation of our big egos towards unity and equality. Will that ever happen? All my beliefs on 2012 are awaiting (in relation to a final ‘end of the world as shared in previous blogs) In fact I like the idea, but what kind of seems torturing is the fact that there’s no solution, there’s no going out of it all forever.  […] It is fascinating I know I’m not alone, I’m not a stranger, I’ll rather try to burn my ego down to ashes and let the true me get out. I won’t hold on to things as I realize how everything is constantly moving. What’s real? I don’t know. And I’m glad I’m not into a relationship anymore.”

And now I remember how initial ‘doubts’ on Desteni were triggered by others in my world – though common sense was undeniable:

“What if Desteni is actually a conspiracy? Well I don’t feel so, it’s not nice to think that all the books I recently bought are nothing but fantasies either, yet they can be so. Music is a system, art, expression, feelings, so what the hell on earth can I do? I’m just waiting, TELL ME! I have no desire whatsoever and it might be really bad/ good whatever. Everyone… So I sometimes wonder… maybe I could be very useful on heaven here on Earth… I have not bought my life yet but I’ll be patient. I’m doing my effort and placing my endeavor towards – not what is called enlightenment – but the truth of our essence. There is nothing to be scared of but of ourselves. So here we go, that’s it. I will not think of anything but forgive myself and I walk for this is all I got now, somehow.

I will trust them this time for it makes complete sense to me. I want to thank Jack and everyone out there in the dimensions who are currently coming to us (through the portal) in a specific moment of our lives. We can’t deny this, we’re in this together, all of us so we might as well hurry, we are aware of this now. That’s why maybe we all felt our worlds crumbling down for some time now, we didn’t know the dimensions were actually struggling to take out all the white light system. So, we were enslaved, huh, who could tell? To me it isn’t much of a new thing because I’ve seen everyone and I know I feel their whatever they are feeling and I’ve always felt weird whenever a young kid approaches me to ask for money or anything. How odd really, we don’t have to ask more. I will continuously make my endeavor to stop the mind. To know who I really am and so, If we are all gods, we better make up to our own nature. Nothing is sacred anymore but all of it together. So that’s about it. This is the real change.

Then the ‘crisis/ breakdown’ came wherein I started digesting more and more of the material, yet it was a necessary process as we all walking this process know and have experienced at some point in our lives/ process.

“So today it wasn’t such a  great thing going back to school. I know it was going to be mad, I couldn’t really sleep that well, I kept wondering about many things and I had goose bumps, very intense ones so I hope today I find a reason for that. If there’s one, Maybe I’m going through a deep crisis indeed, I need help.

Self Honesty, using common sense. I got a message from Andrea at Desteni. I feel great I know and them, it’s great. It has helped me a lot.

My world is really falling apart, it consists of my beliefs, thoughts, that includes all the stuff I used to cling to. There are no more chakras, there will be no more reincarnation as Buddha (through the portal) wrote – so what happens then? So I’m guiding everyday towards equality and it’s hard considering life in this city which is hell. Art is even nonsense now.

Everything up to where we are now makes no sense. There’s no ‘white light’ anymore so we’re on our own. This will be a major shift, I might as well sell everything and go for a ride. But I enjoy myself here I am now. And I’m thankful for it all too. No matter what, I’ll be a ‘stop the mind freak’ if it’s necessary for me to be so. I’ll quit weed if it’s needed, I’ll do so. I believe I was like a heretic or something (in a past life belief), I believe I stood up for No God in other lives and now I returned for a while as a god conceiver, a ‘god seeking person,’ a mystic which is the ultimate enslavement by that of ‘surrendering to a higher power’ – God! I forgive myself that I have allowed myself to think of a higher power other than me. I am living my words so I make it happen. If I need to quit my friendship, I will only if required. I hear my blood streaming. So this is where we got to. It is now, the apocalypse (revelation) is here slowly but surely. The revealing. I am all, I am alive. My blood is pumping.”

The following days I continued describing all the series of realizations with regards to what and who I had become, I realized that I was fooling myself by using weed to ‘cope with the message’ and eventually stopped it, the same happened with my relationship as I saw for myself the deception it was and how it was not supporting myself to walk this process.

I found it cool to share these thoughts straight from my notebook as ‘who I was’ 4 years ago wherein I was waking up from a slumber filled with ‘positivism.’ Desteni became that final and initial point to a process of having sought for a ‘solution’ to this world and having sought for a ‘way out’ of my own ‘chains,’ I saw the common sense in having to become the solution in this world once that I realized there was no God. This proves that I had in fact deposited faith on some benevolent being eventually being able to ‘save us.’ Now I know that it is definitely not so and that we are here, walking our process of self-revelation as the realization of who and what we are as one and equal which is not nice or pretty and implies taking Self Responsibility: an actual understanding of How we have created this world and walk through the Manifested Consequences in/ as our world.

Common sense could not be denied and I walked a process of shedding off my beliefs and embraced the new way wherein Forgiving myself was the way to stop participating in delusions like god or having some form of ‘guidance’ above me to become this ‘enlightened being.’ It was very supportive to get messages from people at Desteni when I did ‘seek for help’ as I was going a bit crazy with all the material. It only lasted a couple of days but what I got really allowed me to settle down and assert myself to walk this.

I eventually walked through the entire breakdown of crying and thinking that I had ‘lost myself’ but it was only beginning to step out of my religion and realizing that I could not continue as the ‘me’ that I had lived as until then.

Now I’m here, I did finish school and I’m actually in that point again in my life where a cycle is about to end here and a new one will begin. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already yet it is so and we continue walking here.

All I can say is to be patient with yourself if you’re beginning this process, takes time to walk through one’s mind as thoughts, feelings, emotions and the rest of our reality within writing and applying self forgiveness, we’re all still all walking it as well.  I see how the commitment to be part of this process of Equality and Oneness was almost an immediate decision, because I had sought to be part of a change that could give a ‘meaning’ to my life. I realized how I could make myself the point of my existence and within that, make of my life this instrument to transform and establish a system that supports all Life.

Desteni is the process to get to live in this world. It might have come in the ‘weird’ presentation of a portal with all of these fascinating messages that made all sense to me. Yet the process of walking it and applying it/ living it became that single ‘point’ in my world that I required to realize that I was in fact able to become that which I saw  ‘knew’ we were even if it was in the back of my head. I was able to finally get the ‘reality check’ that I required to see how deluding myself with god and spirituality had been in fact neglecting my reality. The breakdown that I described was precisely because of realizing how I had been living in a bubble of positive thinking while abuse, suffering and violence was everything that was creating and making of this world such a fucked up place, all of it beginning within our very own thoughts (!)

Witnessing that through documentaries and videos we would get on a daily basis by Bernard, allowed me to open my eyes to the reality I had neglected. This was probably one of the key points within my Desteni-process wherein I started looking outside of myself to a reality that required to be exposed and shared to see what we are accepting and allowing to exist in our world, our creation. And with that, create and stand as the necessary solution that we are now presenting and walking as the Equal Money System.

Some lines in those journal entries contained some lyrics by John Frusciante that I wrote and seemed appropriate for this point in my life:

My life goes blank
Life was never what you thought.
Life was never what you saw
The lights go out

I dared to turn off the light and face the reality of what I had become, I wrote that it was ‘painful’ but understood why I required to walk this process and committed myself to it fully.

I’m grateful as I’ll always be for being here, being able to share my story today after 4 years of walking this process, between hell and Earth and back again, facing the nitty gritty details of myself that I would sometimes get embarrassed to even expose to myself. All of it I’m able to Self Forgive and prepare myself to be the point that takes Self Responsibility, that does stand up to create the necessary system for all of us to live as equals.

If you want to read more about my process, check out the archives now available in this same blog in the year 2008.

We continue walking. Thanks for reading.

Watch the vlogs on this topic here:

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 1

2012 Walking with Desteni: Why I could Hear the Desteni Message – Part 2

First note when watching Desteni 2008

First notes while watching Desteni, January 30th 2008


Common-Sensical Communication–not Egotistical

How I have and I’m walking this point is first of all slowing myself down and not rushing to participate ‘as the mind’ which ‘wants to be in all’ for the sake of that recognition point from others as the confirmation of me-as-mind existing here. Then I see that whatever I am going to say is here as the moment within the starting point of common sense and within the context of what’s being communicated – this is the actual moment of ‘decision making’ wherein we can either go and choose to express knowledge and info for the sake of keeping ourselves in our ‘safe boundaries’ or we actually state what is here which might not always resonate as ‘acceptable’ within the bounds of our current reality which is ‘where we wanna go’ if we are here to challenge the accepted ways of the world wherein supremacy is given to thoughts that keep the same old system in place.

It’s quite interesting to actually observe how the mind would say ‘this’ or ‘that’ for the sake of puffing up one’s ego in any way, I mean, virtually we get to the point wherein we can assess where does every single commentary as the specific choice of words or how any seemingly ‘fleeting point’ comes-from and the intention behind it, which can enhance our entire self-definition as the mind instead of simply communicating within common sense here.

So, in the beginning as we go establishing ourselves and defining for and as ourselves what is speaking as self in common sense and what is speaking only as the known ways of the mind, I simply had to stop immediately answering/talking back ‘as usual’ and literally give myself some breathing space-time to see where were such words coming from – was it myself wanting to re-establish myself as ‘what I know’ as a safe-comfortable space as the mind or me supporting common sense as that impartial point that all can relate and see is what’s best for all – which is the type of perspectives that are often disregarded, overlooked or deliberately neglected in our current reality.

Then, as we go seeing the common sense points that can be directed and thus expressed through ourselves in our physical reality, we start communicating ensuring that we are no longer supporting the same systematic ways of existing only as a blabbering ego of knowledge and information, but we become a literal spokesperson of that which is best for all – common sense – once again, not often said or even understood which is  how we’re able to assist and support ourselves/others to see and find the common sense in any given  usual ‘conflict’ or everyday living situation wherein there could be something not seen/ understood when defending or ego, or someone’s interests or anything else that stands as a point of separation. This way we become a point that expresses a solution that is applicable in simplicity, in the moment and enable others to see how easy it is to do that for themselves as well.

This is how we go placing aside the ego every time we tend to only speak as the ‘known safe space’ where no conflict is created between people wherein the usual patting of backs takes place even if each one knows that what’s been communicated is dishonest and not actually supporting anything in such exchange of words.

Then comes the times when we rather ‘keep quiet’ for the sake of remaining ‘safe’ and not having to stand up within ourselves to exert the obvious common sense we see in any given situation, but may fear to express due to any type of mind limitation to not do so.

Fear of conflict is something that leads us to then remain silent as the ‘safe spot’ to remain in where no one can attempt to refute our self-beliefs on ‘how things are’ and ‘how things work’ within our mental schemes. So, daring to confront ourselves through expressing ourselves without the usual drive for ‘wanting to prove oneself right/wrong’ – or the opposite as fear of having our world and idea of self debunked as ‘knowing more/ less’ or any other polarity degradation like that – is actually of great support to see that we only feared speaking out of ‘losing our egos’ which are only mental ideals and creations of ourselves that stand as the safe-zone wherein we’re used to ‘ourselves’.

We tend to then go into seclusion wherein we remain ‘safe’ without seeing that the only thing we can fear losing is when standing as egos fearing losing ourselves as the ego – which is quite ludicrous. We can only react to anything if we are defining ourselves as anything for that matter which is like already taking ‘one side of the coin’ instead of embracing ourselves as both sides.

This is how changing the starting point of sharing ourselves in the moment and walking away from communicating as the ego that seeks to be recognized, approved, praised or valued by others accordingly takes place as we allow ourselves to actually communicate, express in common sense and within doing so start living the words, becoming our own confirmation of that which ‘makes sense’ within the bounds of this reality.

Within embracing ourselves as common sense and walking as that point that communicates and expresses in common sense, there is nothing to lose and instead, we can in fact create an opportunity in real time for other to see things in our reality with a different perspective, one that is often obfuscated by the usual veils of the mind that stand as desire to be right, to ‘know the most, for power/money and a bunch of fears as limitations to not confront ourselves and our own creation.

So, suggestion is to simply allow yourself to not ‘fear’ losing yourself as ‘an idea’ and instead embrace common sense and equality as the point that we live by and thus express and communicate within wherein we can support ourselves and others to see how brainwashed we’ve been to complicate our existence just for the sake of ‘watching each other’s backs’ as personalities/egos, nothing else but a bunch of minds keeping the bubbles intact. Time to burst them at all cost.

Taken from the ongoing self-support thread at the Desteni Forums: http://desteni.co.za/intro-forum/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=563&p=7360#p7360

Common sense debunks all EGO and stands on its own regardless of ‘who says what’.

Common sense debunks all Ego and stands on its own regardless of who says who

Purifying our words, frying the ego out of it’s own comfortable bubble –


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