Tag Archives: disempowerment

638. A Redefined Spirituality

 

 The following is inspired by the writings of a life  colleague –  as I am now deciding to define him – who shared a lengthy letter to me as a response to something that I wrote him in an intent to assist in seeing the blueprint of the points that I consider were veiling him from seeing through the steps to get back into an ownership of his self creation and self awareness,  which he has walked in his very own set of paths of ways – but interestingly enough, we have found each other having the same intent and purpose in our lives which we will be joining in an common project where we can share more of our personal experiences and processes with many more that might find themselves in the same kind of ‘holes’ in our creative processes that we have both acknowledged having been limited by in our creative paths of inner and outer creations.  

To give some context to this self forgiveness, this is a reflection of what I see of myself in his words and speaks to anyone that can identify themselves with being ‘a seeker’ or someone that seeks meaning to one’s own existence, to one’s own creation in many ways and paths and if not getting to live their potential, it becomes a source of emotional and detrimental experiences such as falling generally ‘ill’ in the form of lacking direction and purpose, being stagnant in expression, losing sight of the ‘bigger picture’ in life, being veiled by emotions such as dread, depression, sadness, despair and in a way blaming everyone else that doesn’t seem to care for life and the world as oneself as the source for our own apathy and frustration, not realizing we are ‘it’ ourselves too in living out that character of disempowerment and helplessness and victimization.

 To sum up, it reminded me a lot of the path that I’ve also walked and that it’s still part of me and I have not forgotten it, I just have in a way stepped out of the cocoon and see things quite differently now, but it is as if I am embarking myself in this new project and walking with him in this project in this phase of my life because our will was mightier than the limitations that we many times fell into, and I’m genuinely glad and happy to see him slowly but surely realizing these things and taking on his creative path again, which I recognize that I have to do myself in my own self imposed limitations as well, and it’s great to have someone to walk such path with, someone that understands the seemingly ‘similar’ kind of patterns that some of us ‘creative’ people go through, but many often give up half way and get lost in the midst of ‘the fog’ and don’t persevere enough to see through the illusions to remain ‘with the finger in line’ as he says, living one’s expression and will, despite the nature of everything and everyone around us as it currently exists, but being courageous enough to understand things at a deeper level and hold that little flame alive within us no matter what, and let each other know ‘hey I am here, I understand, I walk with, let’s work together’ which is quite priceless and unique to find seemingly ‘out of nowhere’ and here is to say as well that coincidences don’t exist, only what we determine ourselves to be and do which eventually takes us to where we need to be to fulfill that which we set ourselves to live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep quiet and wait for someone else to make the decisions of what I should be and do and within that, diminishing bit by bit my determination to express and take responsibility for the decisions that I make and what I live in my life, which I realize diminished my ability to live me and bit by bit dried the flow of the abundant river that I have always been aware exists as me, as the life that I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to neglect myself into experiences of despair and arguing for my limitations in neglect cultivating my own confidence and stance that has always been here as myself, it just got clouded by the emotions that became the comfortable way to justify not living the potential of who I really am as life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make of my mind my own obstacle that created shame, anger, despair, uncertainty and sadness which I realize is the way in which I now realize are the ingredients to create resistance,  which my mind creates in greed of energy and in allowing that, I stepped further and further away from actually getting to do what I know and have always been aware of is the truth of my being, what I can and need to direct myself to be, live and express.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create a comfort zone in remaining skeptical and not want to intervene in my own life in order to not have to take responsibility for myself, not realizing that this seemingly ‘comfortable zone’ led me to sink deeper in a hole where I alienated myself from my own wholeness, from my own power as the capacity to direct myself, to intervene in my own life, to decide to change if something wasn’t working anymore, to innovate in the way that I can decide to live me and within that acknowledging the work, dedication, consistency and will that it will require to create and live myself as the best that I can be. That’s what self-creation is all about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be-lie-ve the statement ‘nothing really matters’ as a way to avoid myself in taking action in all the things that I knew I had to take action on in my life to be and become the better version of myself.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to have been in great thirst of knowledge and information in an attempt to find a way to change the way that I am and how I see and understand life, not realizing how I only inflated my mind with it, but I wasn’t really learning and applying how to really nurture my soul and being in the daily actions, words and habits that I realize I have to take action on in order to live the best of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately over complicate myself with theories, ideas, beliefs and philosophies which I realize may assist in our paths, but can also create new excuses where we miss out the common sense that always exists within ourselves, we just have to decide to let go of wanting to ‘seek out there’ and instead start getting to ‘what’s inside of me’ and write myself to see who I really am, what I really want to do, defining my purpose, defining my drive and take the first steps to do so in my reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe I know many things but not really getting to understand the steps, the process it takes to interiorize, to integrate, to live the awareness of the things I realized in my life. I realize it takes actual change, work and effort to live the words that I get through realizations.

I forgive myself that I had not accepted and allowed myself to realize how ‘realizing’ and understanding something invariably leads to the next step which is to take action on it, to not only be infatuated in an enlightening idea or momentary experience, but to embrace and direct that impetus to create the actual change in space and time and take the necessary steps to do so in order to honor the path that took me to get to realize, see and understand what I now see, realize and understand.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allow myself to define me and allow myself to be dictated by the construct and concept of time, by the illusion of having to remain ‘current’ according to that abstraction which time is – which we have created in means to control ourselves. I realize we create time, we decide how we live time in this reality, but I no longer allow myself to be dictated by it and what I should feel or experience according to the idea I have around it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to isolate myself in a bottle of complexities where I believed no one else cared, no one would understand or listen and in that, miss out the many opportunities to connect , share and get to know others, because of becoming my own living judgment of seeing everything as ‘lost and pointless’ and not seeing that in doing so, I wasn’t getting anywhere else but became more detached from myself, from my own reality and from getting to understand ‘the other’ as myself too.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become lazy and apathetic to continue discovering the wonders of who we are and can be and become, and instead to become sad at the apathy I saw in others, not realizing that in doing so, I became equal to what I was only seeing in them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become the epitome of hope in despair, where I gave myself up in the wait for something or someone else to show me the way, to tell me what to do and not take responsibility to be my own director, my own guide, my own master that is self-created – not following, not taught, but simply learning from others’ experiences and making them my own by testing them out to see if they work or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the idea of lack as an excuse and as a determining factor of my being where I placed myself into a survival mode  that turned me into a selfish and ruthless being, becoming fearful, anxious and angry at myself for knowing that this ‘lack’ is entirely self created and that no one else is doing this to myself, but me.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not give me the gift of Understanding another, because I realize that I can’t hate another if I understand how we all have created this in separation of who we really are as life. I now realize that Understanding is one of the most profound and liberating gifts we can give to ourselves.

I forgive myself as everyone else in our weaknesses and fractured beingness because as big as the weaknesses and fractures are, these cannot override the virtues that we actually are and can develop as the new nature of our being. This is self-creation, it is not born from perfection, but from the decision to overcome the complexities, the falls, the mistakes, the wrongdoings, the self-neglect.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to neglect the dedication it requires to get to understand how we function in our minds and our being, because that in itself reveals our truth and as such, it becomes the most useful thing to do and dedicate our lives to cultivate.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to not continue cultivating my own understanding to direct and create my own healing process and within that, cultivate my own self-awareness,  to no longer be defined and limited by survival in this world as a justification to not live the wholeness of myself in  my day to day and in every moment of breath.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to redefine spirituality as a sincere and grounded way to define and create my own being, to create the habits and methods to continue developing my self-awareness in every moment of my existence, to be in contact with my being, my body and to create an awareness of the effect that my thoughts, words and deeds create in my reality. I realize I can do this without the need of crystalized dogmas and instead can be lived by a simple and consistent dedication in developing these supportive habits of being in contact with myself and taking full ownership of my capacity to define, reinvent, innovate and reconstruct myself, because no one else can do this for me, but myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live determination and do the hard work that it takes to live this process of creating my own life and self awareness, because I realize it requires courage and determination and I believed myself to be devoid of these. Now I realize we all have what is needed, that we all can live these words and that’s the living faith in which I decide to live in, to be the driving force of my capacity, will and determination to do that which I know and realize are the building blocks to the creation of who I really want to be as the expression of the wholeness that I go creating and expressing in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for having been ashamed in being the one that is not following the same path as everyone else, but instead decided  to swim against the flow, going into the opposite direction while everyone seemed to not care or see where they are being led to.  Now I realize, see and understand that this very will, determination and decision to keep going ‘against all odds’ got me to where I am today, where I now open my eyes to see that there is no shame at all in living my own truth even if no one seemed to care or understand, because it’s not about others but about my own decision to live me, to express that care, that love which is sufficient to live the truth of who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up many times in the many creative ways that I pursued at some point in my life, not realizing that I can work things, that I can implement changes and innovate in my life to keep that living flame alive even if it only seems to lighten up my own face. I realize that this is what living me and expressing me means, to do it because of myself and for nothing and no one else other than the expression of the potential that is unleashed when one decides to live unconditionally.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to regret the perceived’ wasted time’ when I neglected the essentially creative capacity that I am and that I have. I now realize that such ‘wasted time’ was part of the process and the many roads that have led me to be and become who I am here, that I can start where I am – in every moment, in every new breath – and to realize that in any moment, I can only be the one that drives me or becomes my own worst-enemy and limitation to do this as an expression of myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that frustration is a symptom of the incomprehension of my own self movement, and that stagnation is no more than the nature of all sickness that manifests when I don’t allow myself to flow and be the water that flows, that reclaims its natural will to express, to flow, to be, to adapt, to move and embody the realization that its movement never ceases, because I’m not defined by a measure of time – I embrace the creation of the potential that I decide to live and cultivate as the everlasting self that always remains here, just like the water in the world.

I forgive myself for living out my weaknesses and for allowing them to affect others in their own lives. I now decide to work on the changes, the habits, the actions that will turn them into actual strengths.

I realize that I can only get through in my life if I place my own faith back on myself as the recognition of my capacity to change my reality and the outcome of my life through the work that I can dedicate myself to do every day in order to honor the wholeness of my being, to no longer be trapped in the experience of lack and all its unfulfilled concepts that I had allowed myself to believe and be enslaved by.

I now take ownership of my own discipline and self-creation moved by the love that I realize I can express in my work and the enjoyment that I imprint on it and on myself in doing so.  I commit myself to become the author and creator of all of this that celebrates the manifestation of what and who I realize I really am at a fundamental and existential level as life itself.

I understand and realize that time is only a measure of earthly oxidation, however even if I deteriorate, it does not define my stance and who I am as I keep my finger at it, becoming and living the drive that has got me to where I am here today, because no matter what: I remain current.

I decide to trust myself in my decisions, my actions, the paths that I decide to walk, embrace the ups and downs it may entail because I decide to trust myself in being able to learn from it and expand my expression through that, because I realize that that’s what living life is all about.

 

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Join in if you want to start walking your own process of defining your Self-Honesty

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629. What I’ve learned about Self-Punishment

 

The previous blog I wrote about Self-Devaluation and The Body contained one aspect that I’d like to focus on in this blog, because I merely mentioned them summarily as self-aggression and how I called it self-flagellation. This is about in fact the concept of self-punishment and what one can ‘gain’ from it – yes, as ‘weird’ as it may sound initially.

Part of the Unlocking yourself process that I described in my previous blog is to open up to consider other people’s views, perspectives and ways of approaching a situation, which can be very enlightening and it’s been the case when taking on this subject to our group chats at Destonians.com. Last Wednesday, we discussed “What do we stand to gain from self punishment?” and it was eye opening to get to know the many ways that people can understand and see this point of self-punishment and how it is lived, why it is lived and the constructs or beliefs behind it that lead us to do such a thing to ourselves. 

I bring through something that Leila shared which was “it’s like we rule through punishment/sin instead of compassion/forgiveness” and that’s part of the points for me to take on and integrate as a realization, because upon judging myself, the idea is that I have to feel bad, feel tense, feel anxious, feel ‘within an upheaval’ about it, IS already a form of punishment as well. We’ve allowed ourselves to be wired in a way where we fixated more on the problems rather than focusing on the solutions. Self Forgiveness is the way to Understand the situation that we participated in, take responsibility in it and lay out the foundation to change, to live the correction and solutions.

But! Even if I thought I was doing this, the reality of my situation has proven me that one aspect of morality kept me blind from realizing that I wasn’t in fact self-forgiving and letting go for real, and that prevented me from Living forgiveness, which is living the ways in which I see is best for me in my current experience and life decisions – not hooking on fears of the past of what I did or didn’t do.  Therefore compassion I can redefine as being understanding of the situation, not being hard on myself, being able to also stand in the shoes of whoever is involved and not feel ‘bad’ about it because feeling ‘bad’ doesn’t sort anything out either, while also realizing that I can only focus on changing me and being the best that I can for me and those currently around me.

She also expressed there: “and punishment can be taken quite ‘broad’ — any type of tension or discomfort you create, why  do we punish ourselves with anxiety, what do you stand to gain from it? what do you fear more than anxiety that you wouldn’t give up your anxiety? do we fear freedom?”  And that is in fact THE point that I had to realize which is eye opening and a point of self-honesty: it isn’t nice or beautiful because it does create an awareness of ‘WTF why have I done this to myself? And the reality is that ultimately, in my case the whole reason why I reacted in this form of self-punishment is because of a belief that feeling bad and sorry would make ME seem like a ‘better person,’ someone that ‘cares’ because of how I have defined ‘care’ as ‘worry’ – when it should definitely Not be that of course – and as if I could ‘clear my sins’ through punishment; I could see the traces of religious constructs there as I explained in the chat too.

But beyond that, the ultimate point is exactly about our freedom, our actual ability to be self-directive, to take one’s authority to create, to have a blank slate of creation, instead of focusing on ‘the past’ and ‘what is there to Fix-Ate on’ or ‘feel bad about.’

This is ultimately one the big habits I’ve seen within me and that I have observed in others related to me genetically. It is as if ‘something had to be happening all the time’, something that is wrong, or something to ‘feel bad about’ and if one realizes that one is creating that, then it’s as if everything can suddenly be stopped.  The canvas of self-creation is unveiled and emerges for us to walk on. And because we actually don’t decide to act to live words, to focus on self-creation, we– by habit, by patterns and by ingrained acceptance and allowance –  bit by bit, step by step, allowance by allowance, just ‘roll back’ to the commonly ‘accepted forms’ of existing, which are mostly related to being in perpetual forms of emotional or feeling experiences, fear for the most part being ‘the mother of all other reactions’ like anxiety, sadness, depression, anger, guilt, shame, remorse… you name it. It is an energetic experience that as BAD as it can get within our bodies and the effects it creates within it, we keep blindly participating in it, creating any other form of story to give ourselves an excuse to almost ‘keep ourselves busy with’ trying to kind of remake a puzzle that is already framed and hanging on the wall, it is that useless to keep living in fear related to past issues – but not limited to the past for sure.

The story that I told myself to justify living in such self-punishment is ‘having to pay for something I did’ and so, having to suffer in a way to ‘demonstrate’ that I cared or that I wasn’t too ‘cold blooded’ about things. Lol when in fact I could have lived it in a more sensible manner by genuinely introspecting and forgiving myself for it and embracing my ‘mistakes’ and move on with my life.  I created what I am experiencing at a physical level, and embracing that realization is a rather ‘uncomfortable truth’ that I had to process for a couple of days until I realized that reacting in sadness about it or anger towards myself is yet another way to keep ‘burying me alive’ so to speak, because any other distress or fear or judgment causes further oppression, tension and damage to my body, to OUR bodies.

The best way is to simply acknowledge it, almost like nodding to it and taking it in humbly to really realize that: I truly now have to let go, stop punishing myself, stop causing all of this dis-ease within me, this discomfort and ultimately this habit/addiction of worry and preoccupation to focus on my self-creation.  So far been applying this since I got ‘hands on’ for it these past couple of weeks and it’s been going good.

That question Leila posed ‘do we fear freedom?’ is a very, very relevant one because I’ve seen time and time again within me and others how it’s seemingly ‘easier’ to keep focusing on feeling bad, feeling emotional about things and believing one can’t ‘sort it out’ unless we are ‘given the green light’ by something or someone out there and because that won’t ever happen, it’s as if we just keep waiting for ourselves to truly let the ‘punishment’ go and lift up our own veils – which we have placed upon ourselves – and walk out in freedom.

There are some lyrics that I’ve been appreciating lately in Mexican music, and one song says “we are like prisoners and we think like prisoners’ and it talks about how we are ‘pulled by forces’ that seem to take us ‘wherever they go’ and have no self-direction. It is in fact the prisoner mentality that I was in, and it is through understanding how I came to create this, how I decided to ‘label’ my actions and how I decided to react to them – based on these constructs of morality and what seemed like reasonable to do ‘at the eyes of others’ – defined my experience in relation to this situation.

What happens once that one is done sorting through the repetitive ‘inner conflict’ about any point or experience – no matter how big or how subtle it may be – is that what is left is an open path to genuinely Live and be in all authority for self-creation.  The reality that I see is prevalent within us human beings is that, it’s ‘seems’ easier for us all to talk about the problems that are happening in the world, in how this or that politician is a corrupt or not or how things seem to be just ‘going nowhere’ but have no proposal to be participating in changing the tides that we’ve been ‘imprisoning’ ourselves into for far too long. It is a form of self-punishment as well because it recreates the problems, it just spreads the sense of despair as if nothing could be done about it. What I do then is to focus back on what needs to be looked at which is self-education, the values, the principles, the common sense as what’s best for all that is needed to be understood and lived and so, the need for parents to have these principles to educate their children too.

I would certainly want more people to become aware of this. I’ve been going to certain therapy and I can hear people around me constantly worrying about this or that pain. I have a genuinely good example in my life of what it is to be healthy in a very round sense of the word by NOT participating in any form of energy-trips related to any form of reaction, basically not participating in fear. My partner is that person and through my interactions with him my ‘habitual’ antsy patterns fueled by all kinds of seemingly ‘usual’ fears – no matter how ‘subtle’ or big they are – have been exposed to the nth degree. I can even say that my whole ‘self-punishment’ deal is a way for me to have that as a ‘constant point to be dealing with’ as an excuse to not deal with the very real and very present opportunities I have to break through those – yes – very ingrained habits (read addiction) that I had defined as ‘normal’. It has been through his constant feedback that I realized how much I can be in fact TENSE and fearing and worrying.

This is another aspect that pertains to my personality. I can be a very ‘intense’ person. This has its pros and cons. I can be a very intense person in a ‘good’ way so to speak wherein I can be very passionate and diligent and walk firm decisions in what I do and how I live it. But I can also be very Intense as in literally being IN-Tension about just anything that I may accept and allow myself to be worrying about or preoccupying myself with. This is precisely where the kind of person I am is basically also formed through the ‘learned ways’ I adopted from people around me. This has to do with being commonly worried, being rather dramatic about things, and it’s funny because I often would get annoyed and irritated by what I perceived as ‘dramatic people’ but, I’ve been seeing how I am precisely that. And this whole pattern of self punishment is a consequence of taking things TOO intensely. My partner helps me out to become aware of this by joking about it lol I then laugh and realize what I’m doing. But as I’ve said so before, I can’t go through life depending on him letting me know what I’m fixating on as a worry point.

I was talking with my cousin yesterday and we talked about driving cars. I have no intent to drive because I was involved in a car crash and even if I was not the driver, I took that as an excuse to create fear. I still again feel the fear as I write this and the same goes with bicycles and relating it back to an accident I had 10 years ago. These fears ‘gnaw’ me because I am over vigilant when being in a car or even when seeing people driving bikes on car lanes. I must admit that thoughts of the car crashes come up when I’m riding with someone in a car and even more so go into a rather intense reaction whenever we may come to any ‘close’ point to crashing. I get agitated and I Know I can change it and it IS a matter of perception and deciding to no longer exist in fear about something that happened some time ago already.

Something that I’ve been telling myself in those moments when being in a car – not driving – is one of the principles that my partner lives by. I tested it out the other day to see if it assisted me to deal with these fears while being in a car and that is ‘always expecting the best of everything and everyone.’ What comes to mind is…. Well that’s disingenuous, we KNOW people are not all good, we know there’s evil, we know shit can happen!! Etc. but even in that response, there I already ‘revamped’ all the sources of fear that can mainly exist in any given moment in one’s daily life, regardless of even defining certain activities as ‘dangerous’ or potentially harmful. The other day while driving in the back of a car and noticing the driver was speeding a bit, I noticed the fears coming up again and this time I breathed and reminded myself: expect the best of the situation. And that was supportive but I do honestly need to work more on grounding myself to reality in those moments and learning to not participate in the ‘what if’ fears.

I realize that I can’t also be externalizing these fears every single time I am driving with someone in a car, because that’s not really the point as I then implant the fear and idea in the other person that’s driving. This is about me practically letting go of ‘worst case scenarios’ which have become a way to ‘spike’ my mind into a reaction in any given situation. And yes this is not only when it comes to cars, but also when crossing streets and dealing with any form of traffic. Can I continue living that way? No.

Even in walking I am extra cautious, extra vigilant and perhaps there’s tension accumulating because the background to that hyper-vigilance is fear of cars as well.

So as I was saying, my cousin said with a big smile ‘well you just have to stop fearing driving a car and that’s it!’ like taking it very lightly. The back of my mind could have reacted like ‘oh it’s so easy to say it!’ because that would be a way to revamp all the reasons and justifications of ‘why I should remain in fear of cars and driving’ and that would mean being free to actually perhaps take the steps to be ‘free from fear.’ The simplicity with which she took the whole thing amazed me, the solution seemed simple and it really is! The ‘hook’ that keeps me ‘hooked on fear’ is made out of reasons, excuses and justifications of why I should remain in fear, and that’s in fact a point of self-limitation that I’m holding on to, no matter how ‘bad’ or ‘credible’ my inner-stories are: IF they are causing any form of tension, discomfort, fear or even anxiety as it’s been happening around that topic, Then I have to let go of it. It is as simple as that, and yes it may be challenging due to how I have also been ‘justifying’ these fears in terms of how there are some reckless people driving on the streets, or how ‘badly’ some people may drive, on how everyone speeds, on how many people die in car crashes and yes, I could spiral myself out of control and really bury myself with all kinds of fears around driving or being in a car… but that’s not the way to exist.

I even realized that one of my last videos on YouTube was about walking through that fear of driving and even if I was getting to enjoy the driving in the lessons, then the crash came and I crawled back into my shell of fearing driving or cars in general and I feel somewhat stuck in a rut about it, because I haven’t been able to transcend that fear. Huge limitation, yes. Do I have the willingness to sort it out? There are other factors around that. Perhaps if the car was available, I would, but it’s not, so for now I leave it at the point of focusing on precisely letting go of punishing myself with the ‘bad memories’ around cars and walk through it. I get somewhat jealous of people that have been involved in crashes were they have been injured, perhaps even badly, yet, they keep at it. What do ‘they’ have that I don’t have? The decision to live without fear.

Now, someone else commented in that group chat about living without any fear… and that’s something that sounds to me like a constant ‘battle’ against fear as if ‘fear itself’ was the problem. To me it’s not so. Fears can also be a real indication of aspects that we have to take into consideration, to have basic common sense in how we act or do certain actions, that’s basically precaution. For example the Mexicans that got killed on Friday by a gas pipeline explosion were possibly ‘fearless’ in stealing fuel because of how ‘habitual’ it had become to them to the point where possibly one of them decided to ‘lit up a ciggy’ in the meantime and forgetting about the hazardous task they were involved in. Point is: not about living ‘without fear’ but definitely learning HOW to live in the way that one can handle things the best possible way, handling the results or consequences if things go awry, learn from the mistakes and genuinely live the saying ‘life goes on!’ and move on.

These fears that I’ve mentioned here and in the past blogs have been crippling me to say the least, not only mentally but physically. The point is that they didn’t seem ‘that bad’ but have been quite present in a constant basis and that’s how the cup got filled drop by drop so to speak. Something that I want to change is precisely being the paranoid person that I see I have become. And yes I can see how this may come as learned habits even from both of my parents, and I’m witnessing how it has affected their physical body as well to live like that…. And I also have a living example  as my partner of what it is to live without this paranoid-type of fear, and to see that it is possible, and to see how a body can exist in a rather good stability when a person decides to live without fears and taking risks and finding that whatever outcome it may bring, it is part of what life is about.

Going through life with fear is yes, the most basic form of self-punishment I can identify, because we do it to ourselves. I early on in this blog wrote about all of us practicing cannibalism, all of us humans, because we consume our physical body every single time that we think in a reactive or emotional – or feeling – way.  This is the most essential form of self-punishment, self-flagellation, self-inflicted harm or ‘eating yourself up’ in a rather literal way. I became aware of this through the education I’ve gotten through Eqafe.com and it’s about time that I tackle this very ‘primal’ way of existing which is that of fear and paranoia in the seemingly most ‘subtle’ yet ever present manners.

Letting go of this fear-habit is perhaps an addiction that I had yet to pin point and decide to work on, because of all the reasons, ideas and excuses I had allowed within me to ‘hold on’ to such fears, as if the fear, the emotional reactions or the paranoia could fix or prevent anything in reality, or ‘handle’ the situation better. They do NOT, Ever.

This leads me to look at another topic I wanted to write about which is precisely how I got to identify my ‘personality’ as Intense and how some people seem to be more naturally ‘chilled’ or stable- but not in a suppressed chilled manner where the discomfort at times simply ‘resonates’ or ‘oozes out’ from someone that ‘seems to be’ o ‘appears’ to be quite cool, calm and collected – but may be in fact be a way to suppress or hide insecurities, fears or any other reaction. I’m talking about the chillness that I’ve seen in a few people I’ve met throughout my life that portray a seemingly ‘impossible’ way of being for me. As they come through my mind and I see them and their attitudes, they live words like patience, calm, equanimity, taking it easy, being quite grounded and present, being relaxed and having a general presence of chillness about whatever they have to face or confront. One of them is my uncle who had a very serious car crash a few years ago… they both could have died and their car was full loss, but they were simply happy to be alive and of course he keeps driving and is one of the people that I believe goes through life ‘letting it go by’ so to speak… not carelessly but simply going with the flow if ‘shit happens’ so to speak, always focusing on ‘well we are alive and that’s what matters’ when seemingly bad things happen to him and his family. Whereas I projected myself being in that and kind of car crash and how I would react and use that as a way to justify some form of chronic anxiety or petrification around cars… well that would be the end of me certainly. And this is also not something I could think of doing consciously, but I have lived this very thing in a more subtle way based on what I shared above.

So, I have the living examples of people that have been through ‘worse situations’ than mine and have no fear to go back to driving or riding cars. I have the example of my father saying ‘I don’t’ regret anything’ as he goes through some of the stories of what he’s lived through in his life and at times, the ‘big mistakes’ he made that took him real money and time to recover from. He learned, he got stronger from them, he doesn’t hold the situation or other people involved in it ‘at fault’ or ‘in blame.’

These are all decision to live that I take a living lesson from. There’s also my partner whom I am quite grateful for because he’s put up with this ‘opening’ of this admittance of fears and self-created emotional reactions in me that are here for me to face and it’s for the best, because the moment is ‘ripe’ to see this through, even if facing some physical consequences, this can be a learning point for me to also then remind myself of how much I burden myself, my physical body, with all the literally useless indulgence in my mind as fears and reactions and what ifs and projections and worries and….. All that trash needs to be taken out.

I mostly decide to approach this as a quitting of a habit, an addiction. I’ve seen how ‘addicted to conflict’  as human beings we are, well perhaps many of us, and I even shared other examples of how we are addicted to sharing and giving likes to people presenting conflicts, we almost ‘rejoice’ in some kind of bad news or conflict going on between people, or pointing out the faults in others… but how much attention does a post or process of self-creation, self-support gets? Not many, but the tides are changing and I root for that change in how we support each other’s process of self-change as well.

It’s about letting go of the habit, the addiction to fear, to drama, to anxiety, to have something to constantly be ‘worrying’ about or ‘fearing’ or future-projecting about. I truly want to commit myself to be a different person with the person that I am relating the most currently which is my partner, so that I can stop repeating myself about all of these ‘subtle fears’ and worries that I bring up in our conversations. So I take it on to remind myself of expecting the best, which is not in a way thinking positively or being disingenuous about the reality of things, but as a way to focus on what normally unfolds in a rather predictable and stable way, and how even if things come up that are unexpected or not the way we planned or simply go wrong, I can also learn to go with the flow of it and take the best route to walk it, perhaps sorting it out, perhaps facing with continued consequences, it will all depend on the context.

 Another nice ‘principle’ that my partner holds as part of his ‘pillars’ to exits is ‘everything will be fine at the end, and if it is not, then one knows it’s not the very end yet.’ I take this in a very existential way though, in a way realizing that things may continue ‘flying up’ around us, things falling apart, cans of worms being opened up everywhere, going through distress, drastic changes in our lives within and without. I see it as part of our process in order for the new to emerge, for which the old must go and we are witnessing that at a global scale in many ways, some seem quite drastic and alarming, some others not as much but equally significant and equally part of the same process of existential change.  This is again WHY I emphasize on the importance of getting to understand the ins and outs of self-creation and existential creation, so that one can have a grasp of ‘how things really’ work and learn to trust ourselves as life by Living as Life as what’s best for all no matter ‘what.’ This is the only genuine way to go through whatever things we may experience in our lives and so, instead of reacting in all kinds of self-punishy ways like fear, anxiety, worry, anger, blame etc.… to best practice understanding and cooperating with being and becoming that which we CAN in fact direct and be the authority of, which is ourselves, to be and do what is best in the situation for us and for everyone involved.

For all of this, there’s Eqafe.com to explain it all and I must now honor that source of education and information and live what I’ve learned from there to no longer allow myself to fall prey to my own ‘reasons and justifications’ to exist in any form of self-inflicted harm, abuse, punishment or tension. I now redefine living intensity as the force that I know is within me as the life that I am – and that has been ‘on the waiting’ – to grow out, to be liberated from the self-created yoke of the fears and justifications, to live that passion to apply myself in these very ‘basic’ aspects such as not allowing myself to participate in these kinds of paranoid fears and worst-case scenario situations that come up in my day to day and trusting in myself as life to recover and get well from the consequences I’ve created now that I have realized and seen firsthand the effects of participating in, essentially – and excuse me for my words – my own self-created mind fuck. Let’s call things for what they are!

I thank everyone that participated in that chat and Leila for providing her insights that reminded me of all of these things that I was ‘aware’ of at a knowledge level – through the self-support and educational material at Eqafe.com – but ‘conveniently’ forgot about. Now it IS time to step into self-creation and that’s where the white canvas is and where my focus and attention will be on deciding to live in an equanimous way – yes that is quite the challenge for me as I write it, but challenge taken! – to live my intensity in a balanced way, to yes be intense in expression for self-creation, for all things that are beneficial for me – but no longer take things ‘too heavy on the heart’ as they say. To not take things SO damn seriously all the time – yes things and life are a serious matter BUT I tend to definitely be ‘too intense’ in the seriousness where it becomes a source of affliction and that has to be changed because CARING is not the same as WORRYING about things.

Genuine care is then to support myself first to breathe and slow down whenever I am experiencing any form of ‘spike’ in my heart beat and feel the pulse elevating because of one single thought that crossed my mind. I then live the commitment to be diligent about not leaving these thoughts ‘go by’ but take them on, self-forgive them because I realize they are the result and consequence of having entertained too many ‘righteous’ constructs of why I should be fearful about this or that – and remind myself that fear can’t ever be supportive when it comes to creating anxiety or any other emotion within me. Then, I rather live precaution instead of fear, for that is a reasonable way to consider reality and its potential outcomes, while also being aware that I am not able to ‘prevent’ life unfolding and all the various factors in it, but I am able to face any outcome the best way that I can, trusting myself in being able to act the best way that I can, and that means not portraying a face of strength and composure as if nothing happened all the time, but simply being able to trust myself in facing the momentary expressions of fear or any form of tension and trust myself in being able to take me back to my ‘zero point’ where I’m stable and nothing is moving within me.

I can also commit myself to practice being generally more chilled, realizing that I can’t even think of being the ‘savior’ of anyone nor prevent anyone from being harmed. Even if I cause that harm, I can always admit it to myself, see how I can do things differently from here on and move on with life. But I can’t keep holding myself captive for the ‘what ifs’ and ‘what was’ anymore.

Here I can also remind myself of the principle of shared responsibility so that I know that there are a bunch of factors that lead to the creation of a certain thing or situation not working out or going off or being destroyed. There is more than meets the eye and this is not in an ‘esoteric’ sense of the saying, but simply as a way to not get ‘hooked’ on certain moment and events that I keep ‘seeing through’ the eyes of my mind.

This implies also to change how I see or perceive situations, how I take in actions and information, how I have to also let go of assumption as in knowing exactly ‘how things are’ because I most likely cannot know. I can know about my experience, and yes I am even that ‘out of myself’ that I cannot exactly yet know what goes on with my body, so this is also part of the things that I want to now not be negligent about but be considered and attentive of, which is my physical body, to learn to be more aware of its pains and discomforts and not let them ‘go by’ ignoring them, but taking them as a cross reference of who I am in my mind and so, what I need to work on.

The decision then is to not remain a prisoner of my own repetitive thoughts and experiences, of what I did or didn’t do in the past. That’s only another comfort zone to not dare to change, live and express and I am definitely ready and willing to live and express, I just ‘thought’ that I had to still feel bad and drag my past corpses around as unwanted souvenirs lol.

Even daring to ‘be well’ and feel OK, and appear generally in a good stance within oneself seems at times ‘too good to be true’ or ‘how dare I!?’ but it is then also a point about allowing oneself to be OK and to genuinely Be Life and stop living in constant self-torture. I noticed this yesterday at a social gathering, some people that had not seen me in a long time said I looked really well like ‘radiant’… I said ‘oh well it’s supplements I started taking I guess!’ but the moment wasn’t intimate enough to say ‘you know what yes I’ve been practicing stopping existing in all of this self-blame and self-flagellation for the world and things in my life not going ‘the best way’ or how I thought they could.’ But, for those that did engage with me in conversations, I was able to share some of what I do and how I approach things and that is great too, because then they may get ideas of how to work through some of their own problems, confusions or worries.

The best way that I can advertise this process is with my own process, with my own way of living. And honoring the information and message that I’ve been privy to for the past 11 years J

So, cheers to this and to facing the current reality of the world and situations around us in a way that we can be sure, we are not going into panic, fear or anxiety, but cover our bases and act according to what seems most reasonable and best for all to do.

Thanks for reading and thanks to everyone that knowingly – or unknowingly – has supported me to walk through these aspects of myself.

 

Recommended self-support:

 

And be part of Eqafe Unlimited Sonrisa

 

my creation

 

Join in if you want to start walking your own process of defining your Self-Honesty

 

 

 

 


462. ‘Fake News’ Crackdown Starts Within Ourselves

Or how to take an external problem and start changing it from within first.

It’s been interesting to look at the developments in relation to the media and how there’s been a mainstream media attempt to ‘black out’ alternative media or any kind of news/media that is not coming from ‘the establishment’ and making campaigns to flag it as ‘fake news,’ which is supposed to discredit and now ‘filter out’ news from appearing in social media places like Facebook based on supposed (paid by same establishment, lol) ‘third party’ fact-checkers that will have the power to decide what you get to see on your news feed as ‘real news’ and discard all things that usually represents a threat to the current system as ‘fake news’. So, that’s the latest ‘crackdown’ on people that have conducted investigative journalism in an independent and most of the times crowd-funded manner.

However upon looking at this censorship attempt by ‘the establishment’, I also took it back to myself to see what the word ‘censorship’ means in the without and so in the within of myself. It wasn’t so difficult to realize how it is directly in line with what us, people, tend to usually do whenever we see ‘the truth’ of ourselves coming through as that kind of truth that makes us ‘uncomfortable’, those aspects of ourselves that keep us in a never-ending inner conflict that we constantly try and suppress, shift aside, run away from, shove aside, leave for later to look at – while opting to keep pushing our own actual ‘made-up’ news as the ‘controlled news’ the ‘positive side only’ as our on agenda to keep an idea of ourselves in our minds and believe ‘it’s who we really are’ which is usually – but not always – a ‘better, noble, good’ representation that we like to believe is who we are, that we in fact create about ourselves as ‘our truth’ with which we interact and go with the flow in our reality.

The question is: isn’t this exactly what we see is happening ‘outside’ or in the exterior reality as this ‘alternative media crackdown’ that represents – in some aspects – that truth and real facts that we are usually supposed to remain oblivious of? Because getting to know ‘the truth’ could, in more than one way, start undermining the whole ‘empire’ of control from particular ‘factions’ that run this reality show we are living in. Here, it makes a lot of sense to me to first look within myself before I start judging how ‘bad’ it is that there’s this crackdown on alternative media, and how much ‘deception’ is going on against ‘truthers’ and people that create their own media with a seemingly honest approach.

I looked at how easily we go into victimizing ourselves, always immediately jump into looking for culprits/who to blame and join a pity-party with those that are victimized (and apparently disempowered) about the situation. But, rarely do we ever take that phenomena, that situation happening ‘outside’ of ourselves and look at it from the within.

Here then I can spot ‘censorship’ as self-suppression, self-censorship, hiding and shifting away responsibility, where we hide ourselves from our ‘true facts’ and our ‘real news’ in seeing exactly what’s going on within ourselves and to what extents we can go to sink down to the bottom all of those actual day to day experiences we’re going through as all those emotions, judgments, fears, reactions, destructive behaviors and patterns that we just refuse to look at, refuse to even attempt to change them – we usually don’t want to face them and so we pull out the card of ‘fearing’ all of it as a way to not actually face the truth of ourselves.

Well, this censoring of ourselves is exactly us in our minds, being and body playing our own ‘establishment’ crackdown on all things that represent our truth, our current actual ‘state of affairs’ that we have to work on, open up, face, confront.

What do we do instead? We put up the actual inner fake news as the ‘ideal’ state of being that we play on as a character and in various personalities with which we cover-up the actual – usually – bad experiences, problems, fears, manias, addictions, discomforts we are going through – we keep telling ourselves that ‘we’re alright, that all is under control, that there’s nothing to worry about, that we are happy and joyful’ and repeat it like a mantra attempting to numb down the actual conflictive experiences that in fact seem to grow and grow the more we broadcast our fake news within us… leading us then to a plethora of ‘mental problems’ that are more and more common these days, a lot of them I’d say based on this constant denial of what is HERE as ourselves.

Who is the ‘establishment’ in the within of ourselves in this analogy? One may ask. It is ourselves as our minds, our ‘ego’ if you will which is that part of ourselves in which we have automated our lives to be a ‘never-changing’ and ‘always conflictive’ type of persona that is always juggling with consequences, always going down the ‘downward spiral,’ always giving up to any sort of self-support, always seeking for short cuts/easy fixes and quick ways out of anything that would actually mean getting to know the (uncomfortable) truth of ourselves, to recognize, face and be willing to work with/process through all of those aspects of ourselves that we can in fact face, confront, embrace and (very important!) take responsibility for as parts of ourselves that we can then direct ourselves to actually, genuinely change.

 

See, what is the main factor driving the mainstream media crackdown against so-called ‘fake news’= alternative media/independent media & journalism? Fear of losing control, fear of losing ‘people’s minds’ and guiding everyone to a certain type of information and ‘awareness’ in order to keep the masses following as ‘intended.’

Now let’s go into the ‘within’ of ourselves, what is driving ourselves to suppress/hide/block ourselves from seeing and facing our inner reality in our minds and in our day to day experience? It’s also fear, which is nothing else but a mind/mental defense mechanism that prevents actually ‘cracking down’ our own lies and deception. Fear is nothing else but an experience that can be stopped and transcended once that we realize that there’s no point in holding on to a comfortable (lie) idea of ‘control’ over something that is not genuinely supportive in our lives!

What does this mean? Why do we hide and fear facing the actual truth of ourselves, that nasty, not nice at all, ugly aspects of ourselves and our experiences that we actually know ‘are there’ because it is causing us constant conflict, constant anger, constant depression, constant need for this or that drug or way to ‘ease the pain’? Why do we try and ‘control’ it and ‘ease the pain’ and ‘numb’ ourselves with doing anything and all we can – from drugs, to obsessive compulsive behaviors, to creating destructive relationships, to addictions to entertainment, porn, sports, food and a big ETC. – in order to keep ourselves from actually opening ourselves up, removing the self-censorship to then make a decision, a self-honest decision to Embrace, Understand, Investigate and get to know what we’ve become and so, accept and face our consequences while knowing that we can actually change from it all, how to do this? Self-Forgiveness.

There is nothing else that I’ve found as supportive and all-encompassing as our ability to self-forgive every and all aspects of ourselves that we have in fact created within ourselves, that we have continued to accept, allow and feed in various ways, that we have continued to hide from and ‘fear facing’ when in fact, there’s really no place to hide for real. It’s the same as what the ‘mainstream media’ is facing when it comes to the internet and all the ways in which regular people are building ways to continue propagating the real news, the real facts and push forward ways and means for people to be genuinely informed.

As within, so without. Same has to also happen within ourselves, and I see it happening in fact within many of us where we are no longer that fearful of seeing ‘the truth’ of ourselves and sharing it out, we are becoming more and more open to face that ‘nasty self’ if you will that we don’t have to go into guilt and shame about, but directly and straightforward push ourselves into the process of self-forgiving those points, recognizing our responsibility to our creations and acknowledge the consequences of this massive self-suppression, so that we can then start changing those thoughts, emotions, fears, destructive habits and patterns into self-supportive ways to live, learning how to effectively walk through the plethora of ‘fake news’ we’ve told to ourselves in our minds, all the lies, all the deception, the self-manipulation that each one of us has done to ourselves – and so toward others in our lives – in an attempt to represent ourselves as a ‘fake news’/better version of our reality that is no longer able to be sustained, but is now bursting at the seams so to speak which in other words means: the time is here for all of us to start pulling off that veil from our eyes, from our very own personal reality. This is the real ‘apocalypse’.

And here then is also a note on this necessity to focus more on ourselves, because we loooooove to keep ourselves in the sensationalism manufactured by the elites/establishment or however else we are calling them these days as the ‘controllers’ of it all and see ‘them’ as the problem… lol, the joke is on ourselves of course.

It’s so easy to distract ourselves, dissing the track that we can create to take us back into ourselves, our very own lives that we have to change and take responsibility, instead of keeping participating in the fear and sensationalism that is created precisely on the news to keep ourselves in our minds ‘out there’ entertained, mesmerized, feeling ‘powerless’ to do anything ‘out there’ to change anything …. Really?

That’s why the key is to look within ourselves, and that’s where the real ‘meat’ of this whole process of self-awareness is, because as long as we believe that all that matters is to be ‘well informed’ about the ‘truths out there’, we are still being caught by the balls – sorry but that’s what it is – when it comes to generating actual, real, substantial, long lasting, rooted and self-empowering change.

Therefore, change starts within ourselves for real. It starts when we actually make a firm decision to develop and integrate the principles that we are seeking ‘our media’ to do for us ‘out there’ within our lives first of all. Aren’t we quite hypocritical then when we go asking ‘others’ to do for ourselves something we haven’t even done within ourselves first?

In order to stop feeling ‘powerless’ to change things out there, let’s start with ourselves which is to be honest, even more so developing SELF-honesty as to understand how we create our own experiences, how we are the sole creators of everything we are, have become and will create in the future as well and understand this not as a ‘burden’ or ‘something too big to carry on with’ as a realization, but as an actual point of self-empowerment through taking self-responsibility of it, because it then means we have the actual ability to change things, because it’s about  doing it ourselves to ourselves!

How? Developing self-integrity, self-honesty, self-vulnerability, courage, lots of courage really to let go of the so called ‘fears’ and be willing to grab our own bull by the horns, because: it’s us! There’s really nothing to ‘fear’ except if we wanted to keep a good image of ourselves in our minds (our fake news broadcast) and fear looking at ‘all the bad’ … but, all of that ‘bad’ and ‘negative’ is ourselves in fact! We have to embrace it, we have to face it, we have to dive into ourselves and understand it so as to no further judge ourselves for it, not to go into guilt, regret, shame, remorse and create another ‘trap’ seeing no way out from there either, that’s what this process of Self Awareness at Desteni is for, is here for all of us in humanity to finally ‘wake up’ but not in the form of information and knowledge ‘out there’ to consume every day and then believe that ‘we are informed.’ Nope.

This process is an actual self-investigative journalism that can then become the new ‘media’ as these blogs sharing the keys and support on how to do it yourself. And that is definitely life changing to the point where surely, you will still be able to identify ‘fake’ and ‘real’ news because once one has identified the deception, the lies, the dishonesty within oneself makes it very easy to spot the same ‘on the outside’ – but the most important part is that this reality that we uncover within ourselves and we then take through a process of personal change, growth and expansion becomes something that cannot be banned or ‘removed’ from us, unless we decide to ‘go back into hiding’; it cannot be ‘censored’ by anyone or anything ‘outside of ourselves’ because we are standing as full authors of ourselves in our every thought, word and deed in ways that we realize is best for ourselves and so best for all in equality. That is what real power means to me really, and that’s what I call real change as well, where that simple decision to not ‘follow through’ our usual experiences, our ‘usual thoughts’, our selfishness, our emotions in fact becomes the real ‘revolution’ if you will, one that no ‘elite’ or no ‘media establishment’ can ever get to censor or ‘black out’, because it is within ourselves! We will then become our real, self-honest, integral self as our new nature that will in turn – with time and new generations to come – create the new media that we all know is most beneficial to have, no longer existing as ‘fringe or alternative’ but as the ‘new normal’.

And that’s how we take one problem manifesting in the ‘outside’, take it back to ourselves to ‘fix’ it and correct it, align it and take responsibility for within ourselves, so that then it becomes – as we go and in a parallel mode – the new creation, the new expression that we can collectively create once that more and more people start living this inner-process of change at the same time.

I invite you to start this process today, it takes writing, it takes your absolute will and decision to investigate your fake news and real news, it takes dedication to change yourself, to help yourself, to be that one point that no longer feels satisfied with ‘getting truths’ out there, but that sees there’s some inner-work to do in order to change the without.

Join in!

 

My favorite supportive audio to understand self-suppression and a MUST Hear:

 

If you’d like some support in preventing and being 1+ person that stands up for life in a practical day to day living manner, check out:

 

Control


451. Will You Deliberately Read This?

 

One aspect of our human nature that is as clear as water for me now is the propensity to blame and behind this is the evasion of self-responsibility. As I write this I ‘feel’ I have just wrote about this in my last blog, but there’s really a myriad of ways in which we constantly try and find all kinds of ‘disguises’ or ‘covert’ ways to not have to take Self-Responsibility. How? We victimize ourselves, we believe we are ‘just enslaved to the mind’, we say that ‘we don’t know ourselves’ or ‘don’t see what we are doing’ or we get ‘angry at others/the world’, we say we ‘can’t remember’ or ‘are ashamed to see what we’ve become’ or believe that we have been ‘programmed this way by some gods or creators’ while comfortably forgetting all about what ‘oneness and equality’ means even with ‘those’ that supposedly are to ‘blame’ for what we’ve become. All  of these excuses I can note down here because I’ve seen myself in all of those aspects throughout my life as well, only to now see with clarity that they are all comfortable lies we tell ourselves to not get to see and recognize the raw truth of ourselves, which is not nice and not pretty.

There’s a particular great interview that I found resonated with me quite a lot, because this is exactly the reason why I am part of Desteni, because I am interested in us ‘taking off the masks’ that we have become with ideas of us being less and inferior to ‘something’ or ‘someone’, which are just ways to deceive ourselves really, instead of fully standing our ground and being ok to embrace ourselves – the seemingly ugly and horrible of ourselves as well – walking this path to review our lives  – not only personally, but collectively – and so be able to stand up and say: Yes, this is ME, I embrace me, I acknowledge and recognize me as the liar, the cheater, the victim, the creator, the whole of it.  I realize I have the ability/capacity/power to change who I am, because I have created myself and what I have become, and so I decide to LIVE that change, moment by moment in a Deliberate manner.

See this is a key word here to work on as I’ve been seeing it and realizing it with clarity within myself, because walking this process is a deliberate decision. Why deliberate? It’s not something that will flow naturally out of you, most likely it will be the most awkward ‘unnatural’ and ‘out of place’ thing one has ever done, because we have just not wired ourselves to live by principles of self-responsibility. Therefore being Deliberate is an absolute matter of willful action to see, recognize/acknowledge and realize our responsibility to who we are and what we have created as ‘what is here’ – and so at the same time, in equal realization opening the door to start creating ourselves in a principled manner, because we created ourselves and we are creating this reality as is = this means we are the creators of it all, so the question is: who do we decide to be?

We have created ‘greater sources’ and ‘gods’ from the very first moment of our existence, not as humans, but even before that, and all of it for the sake of creating a blind-eye and eventually forgetting who we are, ‘removing’ our responsibility to it all to place ourselves in a position of inferiority, of powerlessness, of enslavement, precisely so that we then could ‘lash out’ and ‘blame’ some god or authorities, later known as ‘elites/politicians’ and ‘controllers of the world system’ as the reason why ‘all is wrong in this world.’ It’s so obvious that all that we’ve done with our lies/beliefs and experiences is nothing else but masking ourselves further from seeing directly, seeing here, what is here as our creation, our reality, our reflection – no ‘other’ but ourselves here.

And this doesn’t only relate to ‘the world’ out there, but inside of ourselves. As I was saying, there is this interview that explains to what extent we can hide ourselves from even being open to ourselves! We hide and we don’t even want to admit what we are seeing and experiencing in our own minds – which means no one else can! – and I can say yes, it’s really shameful and nasty and not ‘nice’ at all to open to oneself these aspects of our true-nature, of our true-human nature. Yet at the same time, this is exactly where we have to be at and go to if we want to Actually start taking significant steps in this process of self-realization/knowing ourselves and so having the keys to this change we sometimes see sooo difficult to create. The interview I’m talking about is The Consequence of Suppression – Quantum Systemization – Part 143 because, funnily enough, I hadn’t really connected the word ‘suppression’ to evasion or wanting to get away from something, but only as a ‘hiding’, but here now seeing how we hide when we don’t want to get to see ourselves face to face with what is really going on within ourselves, that we usually project onto others as some form of experience, again to avoid/evade seeing ourselves directly as the creators of that experience within. And so that’s why we tend to usually ‘lash out’ at others, or the world – whichever becomes our pick of the day: politicians, parents, gods, your partner, your children, ‘the system’, the money makers… the list goes on as far and wide as our desire to hide and blame and excuse ourselves goes.

It’s astounding the level of separation we have created where we virtually wage wars against anything and blame anything or anyone for our ‘enslavement’ or ‘controlling us’ not even realizing the kind of deliberate dementia we have become to precisely ‘forget’ all about who we are, what we’ve become and in doing so, we still keep ourselves busy trying to ‘find ways’ to apparently ‘be free’ from ‘the oppressors’ and ‘the laws in this system’, and ‘the money system’… we are truly only fooling ourselves! We have created it all, because we are in fact ‘one and equal’ – so who are we fooling when trying to ‘stand up to the system’ really? Are we standing up to ourselves then as the phantom enemies that we’ve created to perpetuate division and separation?  

Maybe some unfamiliar to this might say ‘Nooo! Can’t be! I’ve always been a Good person!’ well, that is just not so, who we are and have become is visible in every inch of this reality and in the kind of experiences and thoughts we hold within our minds, even more so when they are seemingly dedicated to ‘do good’ but hold a desire to trump others, to take revenge, to show and prove to others wrong, to ‘beat the rest’ and achieve one’s success over something or someone…. All of it again nicely masked and disguised for the sake of keeping oneself in a pedestal of glory and nobility. It just doesn’t exist as a genuine aspect of ourselves, the only way to make it real is by getting to first stand and embrace the deep bottom of what motivates us to be and do what one does.

Hence the point here on the word Deliberate. It’s a fully considerate, conscious and intentional doing that in the context of this process is accompanied with the integration of the living principles which can be resumed to doing/living/speaking/acting/thinking what is best for all – not about wanting to be good or avoiding being bad – or who knows just wanting to ‘be bad’ either – but about creating a starting point to everything that we do in a way that we KNOW is best for oneself and so best for others.

We can only fool ourselves to think we don’t know this if we actually don’t want to let go of an aspect of our egos/personalities and multiple characters that benefit who we are as our minds. It’s very easy to debunk or find out ‘what is it that isn’t allowing me to see? What is it that I am resisting to let go?’ simply asking ourselves what do I don’t want to see of myself that I actually don’t want to realize as my creation, that I don’t want to take responsibility and do the work to change real time for, that I am actually ashamed of, lazy to change, want to take the ‘shortcut’ to do, want to do the least effort to bring through a supportive change… what do I want to hold on to as a comfort zone in myself, in my mind experiences and in my life? And just by asking these questions, things will pop up in our minds that we have to then Deliberately – as in fully considering, consciously and intentionally – open them up to for once and for all get to see how we essentially have been throwing tantrums all along, deliberately using the shield of ‘fears’ to not actually do the deliberate self-investigation, self-introspection that comes in the way of writing or even having supportive engagements with other individuals to get to know ourselves in an actual deep and open way, based on being willing to acknowledge that first and essential, primordial nature of who we are which is that of what has been of negative nature, of destructive consequences in our bodies, in our lives, in this world.

We all know what those are, because we can see the results and even kids can tell us what makes sense to do and what not to do… so why do we fool ourselves, be-living-a-lie believing that we don’t know any better, that we are too fearful, too scared, too weak to do anything about it.

There is a phrase that has come through in this process with Desteni throughout the years and I frankly only ear-marked it for some time, not really knowing what it meant. But more so than before I consider I am giving it a definition here that is supportive for myself. That saying of ‘walking through the eye of the needle’ and how I see that it precisely involves this Deliberate – consciously, considerate and intentional – doing of living decisions that are supportive, doing the necessary work/actions as changes that we need to start, continue and improve in walking this process of self-change every single day, every moment we are alive, because there’s always, always room for improvement. This IS where we decide: do I fool myself pretending I don’t know, that I need to blame others, that I cannot forgive something/someone (which is OURSELVES anyways), that we are too weak or powerless to change, that we don’t know how, that we are too overwhelmed in our minds… It takes a deliberate decision (see the following audio for more understanding on ‘Living a Decision’: Living the Word Decision – Reptilians – Part 311) to create change in one single moment. And this is what I’d like to see as ‘the eye of the needle’ here where it seemingly is the most difficult thing to do, yet it is that opening there which is just about the right size of a constant breath, a constant standing up, a constant facing of potential challenges that will enable us to continually define where are we standing on? Who do we decide to be: of life as self-creation, self-responsibility and deliberately doing what is best for all/best for self – or of the worst of ourselves as our minds, our patterns of all kinds of excuses, justifications and victimizations with which we have managed to avoid seeing back at us as the origin and source –which means the creators – of this all: We are IT.

Now this is all theory, it’s me really ranting about things that I have been realizing and seeing more direct than ever with the assistance and support of the material at Eqafe.com and having many points ‘click’ within me to see how supportive it has been in my case throughout my process to decide Not to deceive myself, not to fool myself and when I have done so, man, do I walk the consequences for sure and only I know where I have not stood, where I have stood and what is yet to be created as myself, my potential. And this is exactly where we have to let go of when fearing to be in this seemingly ‘uncomfortable spot’ because we have yet to create ourselves, yet at the same time it’s kind of silly because here we have on a golden platter the actual keys to freedom and liberation, yet we time and time again keep ‘choosing’ to ‘diss-the-track’ as in distracting ourselves and going back to what we’ve always been before, or seeking ‘more information’ … our minds, our patterns, our usual ways to keep seeing ourselves as little kids that are in ‘perpetual seeking’ yet not daring to turn one’s face back at oneself, apparently having no say in this world.

Come on, we need to ‘human-up’ here and start transcending our adolescence really, where we like to play adults and gods and ‘grown ups’ for certain things that usually have led us to our ruin, and play ‘the kids’ that don’t know any better for everything else that entails a real doing, a real acknowledgement of self-responsibility and so a genuine dedication of self-change, of real discipline to deliberate walk through all of those seemingly ‘difficult’ points, that are only seemingly ‘difficult’ because we don’t go feeding our usual ways in the mind, and we actually go through a withdrawal process, a withdrawal symptom because of how addicted we have become to, yes, self-destruction, inferiority, victimization, keeping a blind-eye to self-responsibility even if disguised in a ‘standing up’ manner when it comes to doing so ‘against’ something or someone…. Yes, we only can fool ourselves to continue making it as tough and as difficult as we decide it to be: no one decides that but ourselves.

An example is how we like to think that there is this government that is ‘spying’ on us and everyone is fearing the NSA and GHCQ and we have people like Snowden saying ‘oh oh fear fear! You are being spied, all of you, everywhere!!’ lol, really, we are only fooling ourselves from what we already by now should know: nothing that we do ever ‘goes up in smoke’, nothing. Not a single thought, not a single move, not a single ‘not-doing’ goes unaccounted for. And this is not any mystical mystery here, this is about laws of physics and the fact that we live in a physical reality that layers/keeps track of or ‘records’ every single one of our movements based on the sheer fact of us existing in this physical reality. And all of that is what we will eventually entirely have to review from beginning to end as our walk of self-responsibility for who we are and have become, either doing it here ‘in this world’ or in the afterlife as our Life Review of which you can hear hundreds of them by clicking on the link there.

So, we really can’t hide from ourselves and that’s what I got from the interview I mentioned above The Consequence of Suppression – Quantum Systemization – Part 143 because I really resonated with how things are explained there, because I see how I personally enjoy and like these rather ‘in your face’ wake up calls, that’s what  has been the most supportive for me in my process thus far – being very direct, stark, in your face, going directly to what one would fear looking at and acknowledging just because of fear, using ‘fear’ as an excuse really, as our own convenient ‘smoke’ to not see straight to the point and acknowledge: fuck, what am I really not wanting to do for myself to change? What am I being lazy about to change this? Where am I not placing my focus and attention to correct this which I know is having a negative impact on myself and so others around me? Why and How am I running away from myself? Because to me what has been of ultimate support is seeing how people in the afterlife walk through their entire life, revising every detail of it and getting to the core of the points to change, testing them in ‘real time’ as they go doing this, to acknowledge precisely their ability to stand, to change, to take self-responsibility, because hell, if we are to acknowledge –finally – our creation of this all, can we continue being (b)lame creators? Nope, we’ve been there, are there and have done that… doesn’t work.

We like hearing things like ‘becoming life’ and associate it with this nice fluffy thing, it is really not at all to be made into this spiritual joke, this is a serious process, the most challenging thing in our lives – not difficult though, because it’s really about Living Decisions, it involves our change in our consciousness, in our awareness, in our actions and inactions. It is not, thus, ‘difficult’ but challenging, and this is a never ending challenge where we decide who we want to be in every moment, every single day.

I don’t focus myself on this notion of ‘becoming life’ or ‘finishing process’ or whatever else… that creates yet a ‘something out there in the future to obtain’ which is how we’ve created the heavens, the gods and the rest of fluffy fallacies. This is about a Deliberate – conscious, intentional and considerate – moment by moment decision in thought, word and deed of how we are ‘spending’ our time here on Earth, what we give our focus and attention on, what we decide to live, what we decide to do and not do.

But please, if there’s a last thing I ask to myself and everyone else as a human being here as myself, is that we need to truly grow up now, to stop fooling ourselves, deceiving ourselves, to realize that we are the ones that give ‘power’ to our memories, that we create our fears, that we create our fuckups – no one else, no ‘god’ or ‘preprogramming’ or ‘challenging minds’ or ‘difficult past lives’ – no-thing of that is real, but covert ways to complicate our ability to see direct into what needs to be done. It is a deliberate – conscious, considerate and intentional – action to let go of our limitations as well, in every moment, and so focus on physicality, the doing, the direction, the ‘reminding’ ourselves of principles, of our responsibility – to not victimize ourselves, to not blame, to not see ourselves as ‘disempowered’ – but to acknowledge ‘we are it’ in every moment, we make it or break it. Up to us, no one else –  a very individual process yet a very collective one and the same one for us all.

There are tons – literally – of interviews of support for virtually just about any main aspect that you will face of your mind in this process at Eqafe.com and in all platforms listed below this blog. No one else can do this for you, you have to do the work, you have to deliberately decide to walk through ‘the eye of the needle.’

 Let’s do it.

 

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447. Interacting with the News/Media: from Helplessness to Personal Empowerment

For some reason, things have become a lot clearer these days for me and I can also say to not be alarmed when one doesn’t seem to have the ‘right words’ or ‘ways’ to express something. Sometimes things take time to be reflected on at an individual level, only to then after some time of testing things out be able to share about it with more self-authority and a certain ease in expression, which is also something that emerges after one has been discussing/reflecting and making notes about the subject while living it out in reality for some time too.   

I share an example here. I see that one source of continuous stability whenever getting to know information or becoming aware of the majority of problems in the world – faced in the worst forms of human creations like wars, famine, corruption, abuse, violence, hatred, harm, confusion, deception, injustice, manipulation, despotism etc. – is in fact the ability to reflect these events and situations we see as ‘news’ for example within the realization and understanding that all of this that is coming up to the surface, is the externalization and re-creation of everything that has existed in our own minds. What does this mean? The world, all the ‘events’ taking place, all the disgrace, misfortune, suffering, betrayal, corruption…. And the long list of it are created through and by the attitudes, behaviors, emotions and accumulated suppressions that are now being exerted as our expression, our nature, our creations that are becoming more and more ‘in our faces’ to see what is it that we’ve become as creators in this world.

I’ve realized how over time and practice this becomes a natural way to approach information and browse through the news or get to see all the turmoil coming up in the world in all types of ways from the individual aspects like mental instabilities, stress, anger, diseases, self-sabotage, addictions, up to the ‘greater problems’ like corruption, deception, despotism transformed into wars, famine, violence, abuse… I know firsthand how it is at times hard to keep oneself stable upon diving into the deep corridors and crevasses of our reality, whether it is in the form of current grim news or getting to know more in depth mechanisms of how our world-system operates.  I have been deliberately applying a more objective or reflective stance when reading this information in order to embrace this reality as myself.

What does that practically mean? Instead of becoming reactive about the absolute absurdity we can encounter on ‘how the world system works’ right now, I instead interact with this information and deliberate do the exercise of tracing such actions and reactions to their source and origin, which is always a human being, a human mind, a person that individually or collectively has co-created a particular detrimental or destructive outcome for themselves and others. In essence, I’ve practiced a constructive form of ‘reading the news’ and translating them into an exercise of ‘reading a person’s mind’ or intent and then seeing how that also relates to me, to every one of us that has in one way or another, to varying degrees, lived that same abusive stance toward our own lives.

If this is a new perspective for you, you might be thinking ‘No way! I am not a psychopath! Not at all like those people that are called ‘politicians’ and dare to do those heinous acts, I am a decent person!’ and here I’d say hold back for a moment and let me explain, because we definitely love to ‘fight’ any realization about our own nature, we tend to immediately deny it because… who would really like to realize that we are one and equal with – oh boy, here I’ll use the trendy people that are being used as human piñatas – Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump? They are both human beings representing actually what exists in the majority of our mind and exponentially showing what ‘we are capable of’ when directing our intent to any form of personal interest.

An example on this is that I just heard a woman explaining chemtrails and associating this practice to be ordered or mandated by people that are ‘surely psychopathic’ in nature, said in a tone that is usual when we want to denote the problem only existing outside of ourselves. I’ve noticed this is one preferred term to be used to point out the ‘ludicrous’ nature of ‘them’ or ‘those’ that can devise such creation. Even if I understand that this is in essence a regular reaction to this kind of situations where ‘no one knows what it is and who is doing it,’ the aim and objective in this back to self approach when watching news or information about things we don’t regularly get to know of in our ‘main media,’ is to precisely not give into the same stance of ‘us vs. them’ mentality to place the culprits separate from us.

Instead, give one step further to investigate what is this creation as ‘chemtrails’ actually denoting or reflecting about our own current consciousness-nature as humans, what does its existence represent? And why haven’t each one of us actually truly embodied the honor and respect for life that we are demanding in to those ‘behind the curtains’ for? Why haven’t we in fact yet lived such honor and respect to our own bodies and lives in an absolute manner? Hence a single word like calling another a ‘psychopath’ which means “a person suffering from chronic mental disorder with abnormal or violent social behavior” in fact can represent all of us, since neither of us has absolutely lived as a ‘second coming of Jesus’ in the flesh to be so pure and self-honest to absolutely say and be able to stand by the words: ‘I do not act against life in any moment’.

I know firsthand as well how we like to keep ourselves in the ‘good light’ as the ‘good lights’ that research and dig out all the problems and in doing so, believe that we are digging out other’s problems and consequences, but ‘Not Mine At All!’ and that’s where we have to step down of our horses and actually live and apply humbleness, real understanding. If anyone reading this considers that they truly and absolutely honor life in every moment and every breath, I’d say it’s great, but maybe some further insight into what that would absolutely mean change one’s perspective, because there’s a ton of processes that take place in every moment in our bodies and minds that we are not aware of at all and are abusive in nature, yet we believe that ‘we only do good’ which is as well one of those masks one has to be willingly able to question and challenge if anything to then dive into the real nature of ourselves.

This is to simply say that according to what I’ve become aware of and lived in my own body: as long as we hold a mind in a body as a human being = we surely have a way to go in truly learning to honor our very own breath of life.

Therefore, what happens when calling others ‘psychopaths’  is that we create a comfortable shield to ‘look away’ from oneself, point fingers, blame, maybe provide some relevant information, but this approach where an ‘us’ vs. ‘them’ is created keeps us all going in circles without any solution, because there’s no actual self-reflection to ponder what the existence of ‘chemtrails’ reveal about ourselves, our interests, our nature, the consciousness or principles behind it, what for? What are the fears that have driven another human being like me to create such thing? And so be able to reflect such patterns, behaviors, interests back to self, to see that any of those people that ‘created’ chemtrails doesn’t have a different mind to ours, doesn’t belong to another ‘existence’ to do it, ‘they’ are still motivated by the same fears and desires as any other human being and yes, that includes me and you, no question about it.

What does this approach of ‘interacting’ with the news to read the human nature behind certain events imply? Well, it implies that after reading a particular article or hearing/watching certain information, any ‘fact’ that may be placed in any type of news I practice ‘bringing it back to myself’ =  I translate it to see what fears drove that person/organization to act or decide to do or not do a certain thing? What kind of experience was sought in doing/not doing it? What kind of mind patterns and behaviors were present in the creation or eventual consolidation of a particular outcome? What is this ‘world event’ or ‘news’ showing me about what we are as humans – our current human nature – what are we accepting and allowing and so (re)creating? 

And then I consider potential outcomes for solutions asking myself: what could be done in order to prevent this kind of outflow or consequence? What could have been provided to this/that person or group of people to consider other ways to fix their problem? What other previous causes/problems had to exist in order to create this consequence or problem and so, how can we focus on the origin and cause of those problems instead of only dealing with the surface consequence? This includes also considering what kind of solutions, support and assistance could prevent or change the origin and so outcome of this event/situation?

This approach is something I’ve been practicing because of being one of those people that would get trapped in the polarity of wanting to be ‘super informed’ about everything and all, like ‘sucking the news feed dry’ lol and then getting to a point of being ‘too fed up with everything’ becoming a bit paranoid at times, feeling disempowered and helpless/hopeless about the state of affairs of our world,  focusing ‘too much’ on the ‘out there’ and not really that much on the right-here as myself, my mind, my own patterns and behaviors which in my life led me to focus on certain evasive activities that became too confusing, sometimes destructive and keeping myself in a loop of feeling depressed and seeing ‘no way out’ for ourselves as human beings in this world.

Therefore, upon taking into consideration the realization that everything that I see around me as this world is myself/ourselves, it opens up both the door to understand the problems and so the solutions.

What becomes a prominent realization is the actual ‘evil’ in the world-system, which of course we can already explain as the evil that exists in each one of us that has become as the ‘nature of the system’ because of who we are and what exists within each one of us as the main ‘actors’ or players in this reality. Here when it comes to finding out the ‘nefarious’ and ‘draconian’ system we’ve created, I recommend to learn how to self-forgive. Because, if this entire reality is my reflection and creation, there is nothing and no one that will come and fix it, there is no punishment or vengeance that will ever sort it out except for learning to self-forgive our mistakes and abuses, individually and collectively, and so walk the process to take responsibility for such ‘evil’ within myself – which interestingly enough can be first denied, feared, neglected, then with time and perseverance to get to a self-honesty stance within oneself, can be opened up at an individual level to then – once that it is individually admitted and confronted through learning how to self-forgive: understanding what kind of behaviors, thoughts, fears can lead to oneself to think in ‘evil’ ways or ways that reverse the growth and potential of life – rather focus on first learning how to give myself another opportunity to correct my ways, my behavior in a way that becomes genuinely supportive for me and others, essentially being the living example of the kind of people I see is very much needed in this world.

This method comes with practicing a solution-based mindset throughout this process of self-support and self-responsibility, integrating the living principles that precisely rely on the consideration of what is best for all at this core and essential level that we all are existing as, which is life, existing in an equal-substance within everything and everyone. These realizations – with time and practice – become an active filter so to speak, through which I decide to actively see/look and understand what is ‘happening’ in the world, enabling me to take a more directive role in reflecting and so understanding the problems, looking at the possible solutions, the potentials to what we could create if our focus, attention, drive and determination is geared to genuinely do and create that which is best for all, not seeking to have others ‘do it’ and ‘change’ out there, but starting with oneself here.

It might sound an ‘easy’ thing to do on paper, but there are challenges that one can face when deciding to approach the world events and situations with this particular understanding. One of the obstacles is our own, dare I say, addiction to problems, to conflicts, to opposing, to being emotionally negative for example which was my case too. In my mind I was thriving to see everything just too dark, too complex to see any ‘way out’, which would feed my own sense of disempowerment and helplessness and worry as well as I have explained in previous posts. This then can be transcended (trance-ended) through getting out of – becoming directive in my mind and so body – my own brainwash of feeding emotions and instead, do something that is a rather ‘challenging’ thing to do for a person like me, which is to focus on the potential: what exists as a possibility and capacity to change within each human being, the potential that exists in the functioning of our entire system if the rules/regulations/laws/structures that we place as human beings would in fact be geared to honoring and supporting each one’s live to thrive, for all, regardless of races, languages, imaginary boundaries or creeds. In any sane mentality this sounds like the most simple thing to do, but I’ve found that in my case this is precisely the key to my own ‘deprogramming’ so to speak, and at the same time one of those challenging points to breakthrough.

Here, this relates also to the process of ‘turning one’s weakness into strength’ – example: If I saw that my usual knee-jerk reactions to seeing the state of affairs in this world was that of depression, sadness, worry, helplessness, hopelessness, seeing now way out, blame or covert ways of blame, anger and general destructive behavior towards myself and also in intent toward others, then it means I can turn all of that into a constructive way of approaching the same ‘state of current affairs’ and change the ways and attitudes with which I see reality unfold, and actually do something about it starting with myself in the way I co-create and participate in it.

What does ‘turning my weakness into strength’ means here? Developing a deliberate purpose for myself, my life to instead of giving up to see any ‘potential’ in this world, to rather prove first to myself that ability to change in my own life, in my own ‘ways and patterns’ which means turning my usual depression, hopelessness, helplessness, sadness into a solution-based mindset, using my critical or analyzing skills to understand the problem and at the same time seeing possible ways through and solutions, stopping myself deliberately from going into a form of blame and instead remind myself every time that ‘them’ and ‘those’ that I am pointing the finger at are nothing else but the greatest teachers and examples of what we have all collectively created and existed as human beings: they are Myself as well so I cannot go judging, blaming, hating myself, because I’ve proven that it leads nowhere. If anything that’s also one of the points why the whole ‘conspiracy theorist’ syndrome is an important one to debunk, where one gets so much information that one either becomes entirely helpless/hopeless and depressed to do anything about themselves and their reality around – giving up on life essentially – or they create a peculiar ‘antagonist’ stance that claims to stand for what is ‘best for everyone’ but! It just might not include the ‘ones that they point fingers as the culprits for everything!’ lol… and so the ball keeps rolling where there is no real forgiveness, no real understanding even in the groups, factions, associations and people that might have a good intent in creating a system, a solution that works for everyone, but as long as there’s any inkling of antagonizing others, a system, a person, a foundation of our reality =  we are prone to recreate the same war mentality.

 I’ve actively walked through these points toward people that I have openly judged on say YouTube for their solutions being ‘not exactly supportive’ – which I am also now in a completely different stance currently in my life around that – and also towards certain people in positions of power that I held a considerable amount of disdain too, exposing it to myself and others in my group of support to then flag the point back to myself to see how silly it is to create my own ‘human piñatas’ to blame and hate for all the ‘bad stuff’ going in the world, instead of realizing they are me as well, they are my mirror (my-error) and point to reflect on. Here again, I rather actively see what do they represent about myself, about ourselves as human beings that I can then work on aligning and correcting within me first, which starts with stopping this form of blame/anger/disdain toward ‘others’ I have placed the finger on as ‘culprits’ of anything. It goes back to self, not to ‘blame’ myself but to rather understand the futility of blame and instead turn it into a realization of self-responsibility.

What does this practically mean? To first see towards what or who in my life have I abdicated my own responsibility for – a god, ‘the mind,’ the system, my parents, my society, politicians, information, a ‘creator’ – to evade looking within me as the origin of the problem and so the solution. I’ve realized how it is only through actively doing this that one is no longer able to ‘see the problem out there’ as foreign or external to one’s own nature, because one can immediately recognize the same pattern/behavior others present as one’s own and so, what one can actively decide to live or what emerges within oneself is a form of humbleness or understanding towards others as to why they do what they do and why they are who they are.

This in turn becomes a constructive way of looking at things, a non-judgmental way of approaching the deeds and ways that others can present that we usually have either a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ reaction to, which keep us all polarized in the ‘pro’ and ‘anti’ this or that. Part of learning how to see the current reality through this new constructive filter of understanding and self-responsibility, is to not judge, to not see through morality, but to effectively learn to read the cause and consequences, actions and reactions and see them for what they are only, for the sheer purpose of understanding, learning from them and so then apply the personal interactive process of ‘taking the point back to self’ to see where and how have I done, lived or applied the same ways/patterns and reactions in my life that have also (re)created consequential outflows that cause problems in my life and that of others.

So in essence this is how from a form of disempowerment that can exist in some of us – or most of us – as a programmed form of self-limitation to give up, to wallow into the problem, to not see ‘ways out’, to feel numb, to feel inferior to ‘the powers that be’ or to feel like a ‘rat in a cage,’ one can instead decide to see the problems/situations objectively, through actively dispelling the fog and smokescreen of emotions like anger, sadness, fears, worries, helplessness, hopelessness and disempowering into seeing and recognizing the ‘main actors’ as another aspect/reflection of oneself that needs alignment, that needs correction and ultimately to realize that it can be cured/corrected/aligned or led toward a solution if some living principles or living words are ‘prescribed’ as the treatment, cure or antidote for any form of world-system disease, which of course in fact originates and emerges from… ourselves!

 

So it is so: as within so without. Therefore learning to self-forgive all of the mess that we see reflected as our world is a first way to learn to understand the problems, recognize our responsibility and so take an active role in changing ourselves from within, to eventually manifest this as our without, as the world.  

Instead of becoming overwhelmed, sad, depressed, disempowered from a wide awareness of all the things going on in people’s lives in this world, rather to focus and stick to the potential we all hold to be the solutions, to change our ways, to decide to benefit the whole instead of  only focusing on our selfish interests, to decide to challenge our ‘ingrained ways’ and do the actual self-work, self introspection and practical active engagement in self-change to be a creative force in this world, rather than a (self) destructive one.  

I embrace these living principles as the new ‘filter’ through which I decide to see my life, the ‘news’ in this world, my relationships, my own consequences and challenges and do so until this ‘new way’ becomes in fact the ‘new me’/ my new nature that also allows me to stand more as my own potential, which in turn enables me to see the potential in others as well, which is simply a result of doing and applying this to myself first.

Isn’t this a great way to start actually living life? I’d dare you to test this out and I warn you here not to hear the voices in the head that may say: “it’s not working, it feels wrong, I don’t like seeing the ‘good’, I don’t like all this ‘positivity’!” Because this is not at all a usual ‘positive spin’ or going to the ‘opposite pole’ type of solution here, but simply referencing a more self-responsible and interactive way to participate in and co-create our lives, to be really empowered and have it in our own hands so to speak.

Dare to challenge the ‘same old you’ every day upon seeing ‘the news’ or ‘state of affairs’ of your own life and that of everything/everyone in this world and see what comes out of it.

 

Thanks for reading.

 

Learn HOW to start doing this yourself :

 

Rumbos Inciertos 06

 

Other blogs to check out on the topic:

386. War Crimes are Born in the Mind
401. How to Live a ‘Change in Consciousness’?
2012 Can Self Interest be Common Sense?
Day 3– De-Capital-I-zing Me
Dysfunctional Minds

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