Tag Archives: disregard

252. Self Forgiveness on UnWholeliness

Continuing from:

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live and align myself to the Law of the Physical that Governs who we are/ what we are as a complete, perfect awareness as Law and instead, having followed through with laws that have been created by/ through the mind that does not have any regard for the physical, but only use it as a resource for its own functioning and survival, which is how and why we have led us to the current problem in this world/ reality, because we have followed the mind-made laws instead of having observed the physical and aligned ourselves to it/ as part of it, as an equal-system of perfect symbiotic relationships.

Nature and Symbiosis

When left to operate naturally, the plant and animal world exist in a symbiotic relationship with each other. Symbiosis is, in essence, a giving and receiving – a form of value exchange. When all parts of nature are allowed to exist in a symbiotic way – they together exist as a massive and complex life-support system, which human beings are meant to be a part of.

A profit-driven system has altered how we view and participate in nature, where we have started to take more than we require and virtually stopped giving back, hereby disrupting the balancing effect nature requires in order to be able to perform its function as a symbiotic life-support system.

source: equalmoney.org

Text quoted in Bernard Poolman’s blog Creation’s Journey To Life  Day 252*

“The Law of the Physical that Governs the Physical – is Complete, Perfect, Awareness as Law. Thus, it Functions Equally for All in Every Way. Originally the Earth was a Planet of Sound, which means: Wholeness, which Inherently Existed as All the Laws of Wholeness.”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard the laws of the physical out of ignorance, wherein I adopted the way of conceiving laws and regulations based on self interest, based on a monetary system that hasn’t functioned at the best interest of all – disregarding the basic functions that have enabled fauna and flora and this entire ecosystem as the Earth to continue existing, which is the ability to freely get/ obtain the resources that are required to live, and that it is us as human beings that have violated such rules in the name of personal gain and self interest as greed, which means we violated the laws of the physical and as such, are facing the consequences of having denied equal access to all our equals in this world to have a dignified living condition.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to follow through with what was placed as ‘advancements’ and ‘progress’ in our reality, wherein I accepted things as ‘they are’ and believed that there was people behind such decisions ensuring they would be best for all and taking care they would not cause damage/ harm, without realizing that the moment that we created profit/ gain as a form of superiority above other living forms, we created the greatest violation to the physical laws, which is the violation of what is Here, regardless of any mind thinking about it.

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to ponder the mind as a greater form of intelligence over any other life form, without realizing that the Mind’s basic functioning is to precisely regard itself as ‘more’ than any other species, which is one of the violations of the Law of the Physical that implies all life forms, all bodies of existence should be equally regarded as Life and embodying such living right in a giving and receiving symbiotic relationship as part of the same organism.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through existing as a mind consciousness system, exist only as self interest that I have believed is who I am and as such, surpassing the law of my being that is Equality and Oneness and only gave head and regard to the thoughts, feelings, emotions, internal conversations as myself, as what is the reality of myself while the world can function without a single being having to think about the world in itself.

 

“With the Introduction of the Mind to Exploit Disharmony for Self-Interest, Wholeness Constituted the Laws necessary to Return it to Harmony Inevitably.
Awareness as Wholeness do not Direct, as it Is the Directive Principle through which Those that Live, Equal and One as the Law of Wholeness – would Constitute an Equal and One Reality that will be Harmonious. And Those, that Function in Separation to the Law of Wholeness, which is the Law of Physics – would then Wholly become the Manifestation of their Unholiness, Equal and One.”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disregard and impose a mind’s desires, wants and needs upon the Directive Principle of the whole, which invariably leads to disharmony as the harm that we have created through the creation of money as the weapon of abuse  – without realizing that now that we are aware of the source of all our disease/ problems, we have also the key to solve the problems, create solutions and embody such solutions as my directive principle that must be reinstalled as my ability to discern at all times that which is best for all and live it, become it – Within this

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever serve the god of the mind as energy, as the abuse of the physical in itself, which is everything that I have defined as my personality and individual configuration that exists ‘different’ to everyone else apparently, without realizing that in such differentiation and individuality, we stopped working and functioning as a collective and became separated through all forms of ideology, dogma, religions, politics, personalities, races and languages as a form to remain divided and only looking after those that are ‘similar’ to us, surpassing the basic fundamental equality that we all exist as, which is our physical body that we all have and exists in an equal and one manner.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the inherent Evil as human nature, as the reverse of life that the mind represents, is the source of the current consequences that we are facing as humanity, wherein our un-wholeliness as the separation we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to exist as, is leading us/ we are leading ourselves to a point of potential annihilation due to having ignored the Law of the Physical as the perfection of equality and oneness – and instead, dared to create perfection standards that can only function within the mind’s drive for perfection for its own benefit individually, but never collectively.

 

I realize that the ‘battle’ we embody as our own physical body with the mind system and all its parts and platforms, represents the ultimate challenge wherein we are having to tame the individual energetic forces that would only seek for individual self interest and instead, deliberately become/ embody the Law of the Physical in all ways as an actual living form – this implies that the process I’m walking is the deliberate decision to be and become a living form that is able to coexist with other living forms as equals – and that, must be taken to a practical living system that must be man made in order to ensure we all abide to this Law of the Physical and never again experience the need to abuse within a mental disorder that leads us to want to be ‘more’ than others’ through abusing the physical for our individual self interest/ benefit.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to violate the laws of the physical in the name of my own self interest, due to a con-formism according to what I would see in reality, and within that, accept my condition of abuser and accepting and allowing to see such abuse as progress, as success and ‘superior’ to other life forms.

 

Inevitably, thus – the Disharmony would Cancel itself Out and the Physical will Return to Harmony. Therefore the Physical do not Act as a Teacher. But Those that Function – using or abusing the Laws: May Learn from it and Change Themselves. Or End-Up in the Chains they Created themselves. It is thus Perfection as a Teacher-Environment. And thus Produce Either Complete, Perfect, Awareness – or Eradicate whatever Cause Disharmony. Within this, Time is Irrelevant.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize that the purpose of Life is to learn how to Live in Equality/ coexisting with all other life forms and as such, this implies seeing the current ignorance we have all lived as and determine myself to become part of the solution and practically and physically embody that living change from living only as a mind of self interest and greed, to a physical living form that coexists with all other living forms in actual harmony.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to actually honor the ability to be alive and become aware of what we’ve become and have the tools and solutions to change what we have become, which is then be able to decide to live the decision to become a living-physical form that coexists with all others as equals, sharing responsibilities and also being able to receive in equality, as this is what is the actual gift of life, being able to coexist in perfect harmony with all other life forms as equals.

 

 

Thus, Realise the Gift of Physical Awareness – so that you may Become Aware. Or by your Own Hand, through Abusing the Laws of Perfection – you Will Exterminate Yourself.

 

I forgive myself that I hadn’t accepted and allowed myself to realize the gift of Physical Awareness and had deemed it as a curse, which is only me as the mind being deliberately placing ignorance as bliss instead of recognizing our physical awareness as the ability to recognize ourselves and as such decide to live according to the perfect ways in which we can coexist if we all come to the realization that it is only in Equality that we can thrive as species that are part of a greater ecosystem that must not be abused for the sake of our personal endeavors as humanity thriving in self interest, but learn how to implement rules and regulations that ensure life is lived according to the Law of the Physical.

 

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to fully realize the extent of abuse that we’ve imposed the sheer moment that we continue living as individual mind-sets seeking any form of self interest whenever we only care about ourselves as individuals and disregard all living life forms that are equally here and being disregarded in the name of the mind’s self interest as who and what we all have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

I commit myself to align my life, my being and the entirety of who I am to the Law of the Physical, which is ensuring that everything that I use my body/ mind/ voice for is to act, do, speak in the name of what is best for all, and that anything less from this is certainly only abuse, which I commit myself to point out and direct every time that it is here as part of my awareness, and that is how awareness becomes the living-tool in order to realize, see and understand how we have gotten ourselves to this point, how to correct every single point of neglect, abuse, separation and as such, live the principle of self-responsibility as myself, as I realize that I cannot ignore the awareness of what is here and the immediate necessity to align myself to the directive principle of the Physical here.

 

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Day 32: A Dead Honest Confessional

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live a life of absolute abdication to a mind that is constantly seeking to win, to have more, to be entertained, to be praised, to get any energy kick out of a sip of a drink, out of food that keeps me alive, seeking for the next greatest thrill and mind obsession that will give a ‘meaning to my life,’ without realizing that it is in such constantly ‘chasing after chasing’ that I have been sickening myself with consuming everything that I could in the name of a piece of heaven, something that could tell me ‘who am I’ and in that, losing my entire beingness that has always had to stand and bear the weight of my own thoughts that would always create a ‘state of mind’ that I confused and adopted as ‘who I am,’ without ever pondering if ‘who I am’ is actually supposed to be and exist in such constant anxiety to live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the ‘who I am’ as thoughts of self deprecation, placing myself in uncomfortable positions throughout my life in exchange of a bit of a acceptance and what I deemed was ‘love,’ and in that, compromising the entirety of my expression to being just one thing: a person in a relationship that is equal to the non-spoken and non-established rules of a relationship that could only lead to a ship wreck wherein the reality and consideration of who I really am was nowhere to be found, as I completely became possessed by a relationship entity that could only thrive the more I forgot about myself as an individual, and for that,

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide memories within my own mind as rusty backchat that I had not been willing to ventilate through Self Forgiveness out of being ashamed and remorseful toward what I have accepted and allowed to exist in my world, which I realize is the least thing I can do when no one else will do this for me: I am the one that is able to grant myself Self-Forgiveness to learn from the mistakes of the past and ensure that any pattern of self-abuse is stopped here, breath by breath as an accumulation of who I am as life, as the assertiveness of what I am willing to live and recreate myself as, which cannot be knowledge-based, but an actual doing and living within the consideration that I am able to grant myself a new page to write my life, wherein this time I stop seeking only my personal glory, but commit myself to become part of the solutions required/ necessary in this world to be able to Live.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my body as a way to only satisfy my mind’s desires, without ever considering what is it that I was putting the entirety of my cells when following my desires and obsessions in the mind, which I now know I was absolutely consuming and misusing because of thinking that ‘my body is here to serve me,’ which wasn’t ME speaking, but my mind as the surrogate for life that I accepted and allowed myself to become.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever think that I had control over my body, without even seeing/ realizing that I am not even aware of all the processes that go inside me, I was not aware of what happens during sex in fact as an actual reality-check that could lead me to see what is it that I was actually doing to myself – and in that, become simply a robot in auto-pilot, believing that: because everyone else is dong it – why can’t I? And so, using society as a point of reference to do and become that which I thought was ‘acceptable’ and ‘okay’ because: everyone else does it as well.

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to blame others for how I would experience myself, and in that never realizing that I created and stirred my own shit in a glass of water and only now realizing that I had not been self honest when reviewing relationships in the past, because I was still holding a grudge against ‘them,’ which would keep me in a safe spot of being a victim, without realizing that the moment that I victimize myself, I abdicate the entire responsibility of who I am because I am making the statement: I am not here as myself, I am inferior to whomever ‘did this to me,’ which is actually of great dishonesty because it always takes ‘two to tango.’

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to actually abuse myself and others by using ‘them’ as a crutch to my self-victimization within relationships, without realizing that I actually was aware of it all – all the time – and still, remained in such relationships and subservient positions of which I here take full self responsibility, because it all happened inside my own head, it was never even spoken and directly communicated, which is how relationships are simply prone to fall, as I missed out a key point within any relationship: establishing comfortable, open, direct and vulnerable communication in order to make sure we are equally agreeing on every decision and every move we take as one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use my body as a holder of my own personal paranoia wherein I thought that ‘the song was always about me,’ which means being always constantly thinking that ‘everything is about me’ and expecting at all times ‘all eyes on me,’ which means that I lived as an eternal magnet seeking to attract any form of attention that I could in order to validate my existence from fellow mind consciousness systems, without ever pondering about the actual physicality of my body that gives sustenance and actual substance to my thoughts, my experience and my actions derived from only following thoughts in my head – within this

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to never even ponder for a moment to ask my physical body how it felt about everything that I was placing myself to live as, wherein energy as emotions would consume me, and I could physically experience that and never questioned it, it would only come up as a fleeting lint on top of my head ‘what is it that I’m experiencing that is crawling all over my body?’  but would immediately shove-it-away because of giving some knowledge and information in the form of a belief to it, wherein I could just continue focusing on ‘fueling the emotion,’ because at least, it made me ‘feel something’ which I had equated to living.

 

I forgive myself that I never even allowed myself to ponder asking my body about ‘how it feels to be me,’ as I always assessed such ‘feeling,’ according to thoughts, ideas of self, emotions, feelings and any other experience that would only take place on my head – never really considering my cells, every single breath that is unconditionally keeping me alive – I took all of it for granted, for what? To give continuation of a lifetimes of inner conflict, constant desires to win, to consume, to have it all, to be on top, to recognized, to be accepted by anything and everyone outside of myself while holding a belief that: I was doing just fine, I’m just like everyone else = these experiences must be normal.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to consider ‘normal’ as in equating life to a series of conflict that lead you from positive to negative, and never questioning really how is it that we actually fuel and create such experiences by ourselves, as I was still delegating my responsibility over my creation to a ‘god’ and ‘preprogramming’ and ‘who I am as my genes,’ which is in all ways still me, yet in my mind it is seen as a ‘better thing to do’ to always seek out culprits to keep the ‘white image/ self-immaculate image’ wherein I can remain a victim and play amnesia about my creation, which is exactly what we have done and abdicated ourselves to be and become, coming to this Earth life after life without being able to remember – yet being fully aware of what we were doing, which was enticed by the entire desire to be eternal, to get to heaven, to be ‘more’ than what we are as an actual physical body which cannot certainly exist as any of such ‘past lives,’ as all that Is real is here, as the physical.

 

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to agree to become an energy-sucking machine that is only programmed to consume itself in a proportional rate as to how I participate in my mind, wherein ‘who I am’ is reduced to a set of self-created and self-programmed emotions and feelings that I deem are ‘life, ‘ and within this never being aware of the extent of abuse and misuse of physical matter that I consume and that I abused to nurture my own separation, becoming the very acceptance of self-abuse as ‘who I am,’ without ever questioning it because we always accepted it as ‘human nature,’ which is the greatest excuse we have used to see the desire for power, vengeance, war, control, money, greed, survivalism, competition, emotions, feelings, pursuit of happiness as an ‘inherent human desire,’ without actually willing to see, realize and understand the actual core and starting point of all such actions which indicate an evil human nature whose consequences can be seen far and wide within this reality, wherein we’ve sold life in the name of money.

 

I forgive myself that I never questioned others’ lives and how their state of poverty, famine, abuse, starvation, was even ‘accepted as part of society’ and not stopping for a moment to ponder: who I am within this picture, within this bipolar world  that is simply accepting multi-millionaires to exist along in the same Earth where millions could be fed with one man’s ‘wealth’? How am I allowing a system that is neglecting the basic living support and services to people that are Clearly and Undeniably asking for them, but not getting them because ‘they don’t have money.’ It is truly unacceptable to dare to even utter the word ‘love’ in this existence without having a look at the actual atrocities that are committed in the name of money

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘make it okay’ to have any activity to be used in means of getting money, which only reflects the outflow of an actual prostitution of life wherein we have never dared to stop for a moment and ask a very simple question: ‘What am I doing to myself? Do I even recognize who I am as this character? Is this all there is? – And not just litter it out as some type of conspiracy-theory type of thinking, but as an actual consideration of life, of what we are doing to ourselves and the consequences that we have manifested for ourselves here, which we now have to take full Self-Responsibility for with no middle-grounds and no middle measures, as we cannot deny what we have done onto ourselves and the Earth, because it is in front of our eyes everywhere.

 

Do I like what I see? No – and this is the reason why I stand up for Life, because I see what I have done, I realize what I have accepted as normal, and how I lived out a life of physical abuse just as every single other human being, wherein the definition of physical abuse must not only exist as someone doing something ‘onto you,’ but each one of us depleting the very life essence that we are existing as, unconditionally and that is now nowhere to be found Here, because we’ve only depleted and transformed ourselves into Energy – not Life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ever yearn for ‘better times’ wherein I allowed my days to simply go by without me doing a single thing to stand up and take the directive principle of my life, because I was old that I could ‘not change the world,’ and in that did not consider that I could begin with myself – yet the inertia experienced within a comfortable yet self-limiting position was more ‘powerful’ than any self-will to move and change winds into another direction, because of fearing eventually losing myself within – not getting my ultimate desire and simply dying and ending up high and dry in the attempt.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to carry with the past as a burden on my back, as all the memories that remind me ‘who I was’ as a self-centered yet pretended selfless being that sought experiences to carry around like souvenirs. I realize that I’ve kept my own collection of memories as the pillars to my very own cage and self-created limitation. I realize that I am able to give me back to myself everything that I have separated myself from in those memories in every moment that I learn how to Forgive Myself.

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I ever accepted and allowed myself to claim to be sure of ‘who I am’ without even having the least/ remote idea of what I actually am, what I have accepted and allowed myself to become and how I have actually abused myself in such continual desire to ‘be something/ someone’ that could have a label that indicates ‘I am a part of this reality.’

 

 

I commit myself to become the point that stops living as a self-programmed system that is only seeking for personal glory at all times, and how this has been our own demise that is now taking us to the current state that we’re in, where life is being sucked dry from all in the name of our personal gain and ‘glory,’ which can only exist as an equally self-created mind delusion that must stop.

 

I commit myself to expose how it is that we have founded a ‘human civilization’ upon abuse, that our progress can only exist if someone is left deliberately marginalized and waiting for death to come as ‘who I am and have become’ as a human being has shown no regard for fellow living beings, wherein it is ludicrous to ever claim that: ‘we are in control,’ because we’re not, we are not even aware of how every single breath power the entirety of our body = we cannot possibly claim we know better.

 

I commit myself to expose the realm of knowledge and information for the uselessness that it represents as an actual misuse of life in the name of personal glory, wherein ‘who I am’/ who we are as humanity is praised and pondered upon a pedestal that has always been created at the expense of other life forms that we have absolutely disregarded and neglected as being one and equal as ourselves.

 

I commit myself to share and explain how the more we keep each other separated from our own body, and how the more we keep fueling our bubble-lifestyle wherein we only care about ourselves, we are in fact ensuring the depletion of all life here, while many starve to death because who we have become in our minds, has neglected ‘them’ as being ourselves as well, an equal part of what is here that we have decidedly ignored to only satisfy our ‘dreams,’ which can never be actually fulfilling, as it was all just ‘a dream’= a mind created illusion.

I commit myself to support myself to continue forgiving myself for the plethora of self-delusions that I gave head to and that I abused myself with in the name of an experience, an idea of life, instead of actually becoming the life that is here as myself as the bones, tissue and flesh that I nurture with the Earth’s resources every single day and that I had abused in the name of self-interest.

 

I commit myself to support others to see this for themselves, as I realize that we are going nowhere unless ALL is equally aware of this process of self-support and the importance of walking it as a life-commitment, as this is a once in an existential lifetime opportunity to birth ourselves as life, by our very own breathing accumulation here, moment by moment, breath by breath. until all the parts of separation that I have created are brought back to ‘justice’ as the just-is, as the life substance that has always just existed/ been here, unconditionally and that we have separated ourselves from through a single belief, clogging it with meanings and words and colors as relationships of energy that must be stopped by each one of us.

 

The confession of having lived a lifetime of self-abuse is a written process that is taking place all over the world – it is not negativity, it is what being Self-Honest implies, it is being Dead-Honest about the reality that we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be and become.

 

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